Chapter Text
Chapter One
Summer of 2008
Toni dipped her big toe in the lake, watching it ripple into larger and larger circles until the water evened out again, looking untouched.
“It’s cold,” she declared, looking over her shoulder at her best friend behind her.
She was tugging her t-shirt over her head, getting it stuck on her elbows, grunting as she worked it off her.
When she finally succeeded, she stood there, hands on her hips in her one-piece swimsuit.
Her hair was a ruffled mess from the wrestling match with her clothes. “This is tradition, Toni. It’s the first day of summer. We have to get in the lake. No matter what.” The blonde frowned. Pouted. She was bossy, but that’s what Toni loved about her.
She took a step back, looking at the quiet, calm water stretching out in front of her until it hit the treeline.
“What if your dad gets mad? He always says not to come out here alo-”
“Toni,” the girl growled, folding her arms over her chest, pouting out her lower lip even more.
“Yeah, right, okay,” Toni nodded aggressively. She tugged her own t-shirt over her head and tossed it in the sand next to her friend’s.
She took her place next to Toni, both of them staring out at the water now.
“Ready?” The blonde’s lips curled up into a wide grin, crinkling her eyes. She held out her right hand to Toni, her string and bead bracelet hanging loosely around her wrist.
Toni gulped, but gave a nod, intertwining her left hand in the girl’s, their matching bracelets colliding.
“One,” the blonde swung their hands forward and back.
“Two,” Toni whispered.
“Three!” they both yelled, squealing as they ran toward the water, hand in hand.
The ice cold water splashed up around them with every step they took, splashing higher and higher the deeper they went. Before long, they were knee deep, scooping water in their hands and throwing it at one another.
Toni’s whole body was covered in goosebumps, and she shivered every time a new splash of water hit her. But she continued anyway, teeth chattering, loving this tradition they’d started.
Their giggles and the thrashing of water filled that quiet June morning.
But then a booming voice filled it too, causing the giggles and splashes to stop.
“Shelby! Toni!” The man stood on the beach, arms crossed over his puffed out chest. Toni could see his jaw locked from the water.
“What the hell have I told you about goin’ out in the water alone?”
They both slunk back toward the man, heads drooping with guilt.
“Sorry, daddy,” Shelby whispered as they got closer.
“Sorry, sir,” Toni said in a similar voice.
“Get inside, now,” he pointed at the back of the house - the part that faced the water.
“Or we’re not comin’ out here next summer.”
Present
Toni dips her hand inside the glass with a towel, drying it from the inside out. It’s nearing three in the morning, and she can feel the heaviness of her eyelids giving in to gravity.
Toni neglected to remember the local college graduation earlier that day. They were severely understaffed for the amount of college kids that swarmed the bar when night came.
She glances up from her new wet glass in hand, toweling it off mindlessly, looking at the other employee who endured the suffering with her.
“Dot,” she calls over to the girl scrubbing one of the tables.
Dot lifts her head to look at her, her eyelids half closed.
“Go home,” Toni says. “I’ll finish up.”
Dot’s eyes flutter a bit, her exhausted mind taking longer than normal to register what Toni tells her. “You sure? I don’t mind staying,” she says, unconvincingly.
Toni nods. “Get some rest. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as bad. If not worse.”
Dot looks at Toni blankly, not even registering what she hears.
Toni smirks. “I’ll make sure it’s more than just the two of us.”
Dot gives an exhausted half smile and tosses her towel up to Toni at the bar. “I’ll see you tomorrow, boss.”
Toni follows Dot to the door and locks up behind her. She places her hands on her hips and turns around to take in the bar, exhaling. It’s still a mess. Most of the tables still need to be wiped down, the chairs need to be put up, the whole thing mopped…
Toni’s running through her mental checklist when a knock on the door causes her to jump.
“Jesus,” she whispers, hand clutching her chest. She waits a second until her heart rate slows and opens it, ready to tease Dot.
“You miss me alre-”
Her words die in her throat; they’re swallowed up whole. Her mouth is suddenly dry, eyes wide as she takes in the person who is very much not Dot.
“Shelby,” is all she manages to croak out. It’s breathy and not confident and embarrassing, but she’s so taken aback that she can’t form any other words.
Shelby gives her a small smile. The same small smile Toni recognizes from when Shelby’s feeling shy or insecure or nervous.
She looks different. She’s still Shelby, but she looks different. Toni studies her, illuminated only by the flickering orange glow from the light above the bar’s entry.
Her hair is in a neat, slicked back ponytail instead of its natural waves that used to fall past her shoulders.
She’s not a lanky teen anymore lacking in “womanly features,” as Shelby used to call them. She’s slender but curvy in all the right places.
Her makeup isn’t the dark, Avril Lavigne inspired look anymore. It’s natural. Softer. Older.
Older. She looks older.
Toni wonders if Shelby thinks the same about her.
She still looks just as beautiful as the last time Toni saw her, which isn’t surprising. She’s always been beautiful.
Shelby fidgets uncomfortably under her gaze. It’s then that she realizes she’s been staring. Staring for way longer than socially appropriate.
Toni’s eyes finally land back on Shelby’s, but she doesn’t offer the same smile in return. Instead, she glares, waiting for Shelby to speak.
When she does, that southern twang Toni used to make fun of hits her like a tornado, trying to suck her back in time.
Toni lets it.
“Hi, Toni.”
Summer of 2016
Toni ran.
Toni ran fast.
She shoved through branches and hopped over rocks, tearing through the woods as quickly as her body would let her. Everything below her waist felt numb as she pushed her muscles to the limit.
“Toni!” she heard Shelby yell from behind her. Her yells were growing more and more distant as she struggled to keep up with Toni.
But she persisted, nonetheless.
“Toni!” This time, Toni could hear the wracked sobs coming from Shelby’s far-off voice.
It’s almost enough.
It’s almost enough for her to stop. To turn around. To face what she’d just told Shelby. To face Shelby’s response.
But almost was never enough.
So she ran.
She ran the three miles from the lakehouse back to town, feeling the tears burn her eyes and fall down her cheeks.
And the only words that kept shouting at her over and over again in her mind were the last two to roll off Shelby’s tongue before the running.
“Goodbye, Toni.”