Chapter Text
Seokjin and jungkook started dating when Jungkook was twenty. In most circumstances, that’s not anything out of the ordinary, but not when Jungkook was internationally known for his voice,
Jungkook’s life was barely beginning, yet his music videos would reach millions of views, he had three number one records in the US and the UK, he was preparing for his fourth world tour.
Seokjin was finishing his final year of a law degree when he started dating Jungkook. As soon as he graduated, he moved into Jungkook’s apartment, but had no time to settle in before joining Jungkook on a tour of America.
They met when Jungkook was unknown, playing small gigs at student pubs and posting covers on Youtube. Jungkook had been singing at Seokjin’s local pub, and Seokjin knew someone backstage. They got talking, and ended up fucking in Seokjin’s bed in his college apartment with his roommate asleep in the next room.
Seokjin got to see Jungkook’s music career take off, his gigs attracted more people, he started posting original songs on Youtube and spotify, and eventually signed a record deal with a label in the US.
After Seokjin’s graduation, he left everything so he could tour with Jungkook. He moved out of his apartment and quit the job he had gotten to get himself through college.
Jungkook’s fans didn’t know about their relationship. Whilst Jungkook enjoyed the spotlight, Seokjin wasn’t so keen on having his face plastered on news sites and social media. He was kept a secret, and he was totally okay with it.
They had to work hard to make their relationship work. Jungkook knew it could be hard on Seokjin, barely having any time alone with his boyfriend, but he tried his best to always show how much he loved him. Whether it be a coded message during a show, subtle and intimate skinship whenever they were around Jungkook’s team, writing songs for Seokjin and singing them softly to him in bed in their hotel rooms.
Their relationship wasn’t exactly perfect. Seokjin had always been a hard worker, and after graduating college, he gave up his life to follow Jungkook around the world. He wasn’t used to doing nothing, he didn’t have to work with the money Jungkook was making. He sometimes felt like a spare part, trailing behind the groups of management, fans, band members.
Jungkook liked to party. In clubs, hotel rooms, backstage at concert venues. Seokjin wasn’t into partying. He would just trail after Jungkook and put him to bed when he was too drunk to do it himself.
Jungkook loved him, it was obvious to everyone who knew them how much Jungkook loved Seokjin, but he loved the lifestyle just as much. And sometimes Seokjin wondered if that lifestyle included him.
Jungkook didn’t tour in the winter. From November until February, they lived in Jungkook’s penthouse in Los Angeles. They spent most of their days together, Jungkook wrote music and Seokjin would read through his textbooks, watch old cases on TV, or just sit in the huge open plan living room of the apartment and watch LA life go by.
It was a Thursday, early January, and Jungkook was fucking Seokjin lazily on the couch, thin blanket draped over them. Jungkook held Seokjin’s waist tight with one of his large hands, as he thrust into him deeply. Seokjin was out of it, gripping Jungkook’s bicep and moaning softly. He was so out of it that he barely registered the front door open and close.
“Don’t mind me” a voice came, and footsteps hurried passed them. Seokjin didn’t have time to figure out who it was, before Jungkook grabbed his face to pull him into a deep kiss. His hips quickened, pace becoming rough and erratic, a sign he was getting close. Jungkook grunted as Seokjin tightened around him and came into his fist. Jungkook followed not long after, breathing hot and hard into Seokjin’s neck as he spilled inside of him.
They sit up, sweaty and breathing hard. Jungkook kisses Seokjin’s cheek,
“Love you” He whispered,
“Hey guys” the voice reappeared, and they turn to find Jimin, Jungkook’s personal manager, stood smirking in the kitchen doorway, “sorry, didn’t want to interrupt”
Jungkook sighs and covers himself with the blanket beside him, “what is it Jimin?”
“came to discuss the new album”
“now? this is my time off, Jimin” Jungkook ruffled Seokjin’s hair and stood, heading into the kitchen to get a beer from the fridge,
“you have two days until you start recording. We’ve already been talking music video concepts and tour dates” Jimin pulls a notebook from his bag, “Lee is getting impatient, Jungkook, you haven’t sent him anything… not even a draft”
“i’ve been working just… nothing i’m ready to share yet”
“well, we have a tour in the works” Jimin says, “America, the UK, Asia… a string of shows in Korea”
Jungkook shrugs, “Korea would be nice” Jungkook sat back beside Seokjin, “you’ve been wanting to visit home for a while, babe”
Seokjin frowns, “maybe. Although i was thinking-“
“we need to see some lyrics, Jungkook” Jimin cuts in, “we can’t put off this album any more”
“yeah, of course. I’ll get to work tomorrow, i promise”
Jimin nods, “okay. We have a meeting with the tour organizers tomorrow, okay? We have to finalise places and dates” Jimin rips a page from his notebook, “if your late again, i swear to god, your management will drop you”
Jimin smiles at Seokjin, before he lets himself out of the apartment,
“another tour?” Seokjin asks. There’s still come on stomach, slowly drying and starting to feel uncomfortable,
Jungkook places the blanket on the couch again, completely naked, the late afternoon sunlight streaming in from the huge windows making Jungkook’s skin glow golden, “yeah… management are saying this could be the biggest one yet, stadiums, merchandise, everything”
“a new band?”
Jungkook sighs, “Seokjin-“
“am i invited this time? only, the last tour, your team didn’t exactly make me feel welcome” Seokjin stood from the couch, grimacing at the dark stains on the gray cushions,
“baby, you know it’s not like that. After everything that happened in europe… they just don’t want me to be distracted again”
“so i’m a distraction?”
Jungkook’s face falls, “what? no-“
“we need a new couch” Seokjin simply says, brushing past Jungkook and heading to the bathroom.
He gets in the shower and Jungkook doesn’t follow him for a while, until the door opens and Seokjin feels someone step into the shower behind him.
Large, calloused hands run up and down his back, “i’m sorry” Jungkook whispers into Seokjin's neck, “you know i didn’t mean it like that”
Seokjin turns in Jungkook’s arms, hands on his chest, Jungkook’s arms wrapped tight around his waist,
“i just… i nearly got dropped after the Europe tour and i love this job and i love my label and… i can’t lose this” Jungkook kissed Seokjin’s nose, “i love you. You’re the most important thing to me.. you know that”
Seokjin sighs, “yeah i know”
Jungkook doesn’t look convinced, but leans in to kiss Seokjin anyway.
“want to go again?” Seokjin asks against Jungkook’s lips. Jungkook hesitates, then pulls away,
“can’t. Meeting some friends for drinks” Jungkook says, stepping out of the shower and reaching for a towel,
“friends?” Seokjin crosses his arms,
Jungkook’s face falls and he tenses, “jesus… still?”
“what?”
“you still don’t fucking trust me?” Jungkook laughs bitterly, “seriously, Seokjin, how long is it going to take?”
Seokjin says nothing. Just watches Jungkook open the door and slam it behind him.
When Seokjin gets out of the shower, Jungkook is gone.
He doesn’t call. He knows Jungkook wont stay mad. He’ll probably call too drunk to get in a taxi and Seokjin will have to go pick him up from whatever bar his friends had left him at this time.
He goes to sit on the couch, phone in front of him, ready for Jungkook’s inevitable phone call. He tries to watch the TV for a while, but can’t concentrate, so he just plays one of Jungkook’s songs from the speaker and closes his eyes.
He gets through three of Jungkook’s albums before his phone rings, he looks at the time, one thirty in the morning.
“hello?”
“hi baby” Jungkook’s voice is deeper, raspier than usual, a telltale sign that he’s drunk, “where are you?”
“our apartment” Seokjin says. He’s already shoving his feet in his shoes and grabbing his keys from the table, “where are you?”
“Outside the bar” Jungkook is slurring, Seokjin can hear music and the thrum of conversation in the background, “the one we always go to”
“Right, where are your friends?” he leaves the apartment and heads down to their private garage to get into his car,
“Taehyung and Hoseok had to leave early, and I’m not sure where Charlie went”
Taehyung and Hoseok were members of Jungkook’s old high school who also lived in LA, and Charlie was a friend Jungkook met through touring.
“Stay where you are, okay? I’m coming to get you”
Seokjin hung up the phone and started the engine. He stopped by a twenty four hour store to get a bottle of water, then drove towards the bar.
He found Jungkook slumped on the pavement, eyes closed.
“Hey, Kook” Seokjin shook his shoulder gently, “it’s Seokjin”
“Mmmm.. Hey, baby” Jungkook smiled,
“Come on” Seokjin pulls his boyfriend up, holding onto him as he sways a little, and helps into the car, “how much have you had?”
Seokjin climbs in too, and offers Jungkook the water bottle,
“Um… i’m not sure” Jungkook says after downing half the water, “a lot of shots”
Seokjin sighs, starts the car, and they drive home in silence.
Jungkook wakes with a groan the next morning. Seokjin is sat at the mirror, working moisturiser into his face,
“Morning” Seokjin says, “feeling okay?”
“I feel awful” Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose, “how did i get home?”
“You called me. Your friends ditched you, so i picked you up”
Jungkook frowns, “God… i’m sorry, baby”
Seokjin smiles, “it’s okay. I’d rather know you were safe” Seokjin turns in his chair, “Jimin was trying to reach you earlier, to make sure you don’t miss your meeting”
“Oh, fuck” Jungkook groans, “what time is it?”
“Only eleven” Seokjin says, “you still have an hour”
Jungkook stretches as he stands up, “okay. I’ll go jump in the shower and get going. You’ll be okay on your own?”
“Of course. Namjoon and Yoongi are arriving today, so i’ll probably pick them up from the airport and bring them back here”
“Great, i’ll bring takeout back with me?”
Seokjin grins, “this, Jeon Jungkook, is why i love you”
Jungkook grins back, and pecks Seokjin’s lips as he passes by.
Jungkook leaves, and Seokjin has to entertain himself for an hour before he headed to the airport. Namjoon was Seokjin’s friend from law school, visiting America with his boyfriend Yoongi. They had rented an apartment close to Seokjin and Jungkook’s, and would be staying for a few weeks.
He waits outside the airport, and when he sees Namjoon hurrying towards him, arms outstretched he can’t stop himself from smiling.
“Hey!” he says, hugging Namjoon tight, “how was your flight?”
“Tiring” Namjoon said,
“Well, Jungkook is bringing takeout back after his meeting, so i hope you’re hungry” Seokjin laughs,
“Definitely” Namjoon piles his and Yoongi’s suitcases into the car, and climbs in, “so, what’s it like dating an international super star? You enjoying the high life?”
“It’s okay” Seokjin sighs.
Namjoon raises an eyebrow,
“It’s just… i don’t know…”
“Are you not happy?” Yoongi asks from the backseat as Seokjin pulls out of the carpark,
“I am, i just-”
“He didn’t…? Again?”
“No! No… sometimes i just feel like i have to take a back seat. Like i’m getting in the way sometimes” Seokjin frowns, “he’s still young. He’s still enjoying things for the first time… drinking, drugs, money… i feel like we have nothing in common anymore”
“You’re his boyfriend” Namjoon says, “you should never have to take a backseat”
“But to be a good boyfriend, i feel like i have to. His career is important to him, i can’t expect to come first all the time” Seokjin keeps looking at the road ahead, but he can feel the concerned stares being sent his way, “sometimes i regret leaving Korea. Giving up on my dream, you know?”
“There’s nothing stopping you from becoming a lawyer, Seokjin. You shouldn’t have to give up everything”
“I couldn’t do that now. We’re always travelling… he tours for half the year”
“So don’t go. You have to focus on yourself sometimes” Namjoon says.
Seokjin doesn’t say anything more about it. Just bites his lip as they drive home.
They hang out at the apartment all afternoon, waiting for Jungkook to return with their food. Seokjin knew his meetings could run on sometimes, but when it got to nine o’clock and he still hasn’t heard from Jungkook, he gets fed up.
They order pizza instead, and eventually, Namjoon and Yoongi head to their apartment.
Seokjin stays up, sat on the couch until Jungkook stumbles through the door after midnight. He’s drunk, clearly, barely noticing Seokjin as he tries to pull of his jacket.
“Where have you been?” Seokjin asks, and Jungkook jumps,
“Fuck! Babe, what are you doing?”
“Where have you been?” Seokjin asks again,
“What? We just had some drinks in the office, after the meeting”
“Really? Just drinks?”
Jungkook sighs, “Yes, just drinks. i was a little tipsy, but i’ve sobered up now”
“You know how embarrassing it was having my friends here and you not turning up?” Seokjin said, “you were supposed to bring food home… see my friends”
Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, “shit… i’m sorry, babe. We were just celebrating… this next tour is going to be huge”
Seokjin snorts, “seriously? Were you even at a meeting? Or were you with-”
“Don’t!” Jungkook snaps, “i would never”
“You’ve already done it once, is it really a shock that it's the first thing to come to mind? ” Seokjin stands, leaving Jungkook stood shocked in the living room.
Jungkook doesn’t come to bed, and Seokjin is honestly glad. He knows he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from snapping.
Seokjin was scrolling through his phone in bed, in his childhood bedroom. It had been a few days since his fathers funeral, and he wanted to catch up with how Jungkook’s tour was going. He was currently in Germany, and scrolling through twitter, the reaction was good. But then he came across a few posts that made his stomach churn,
‘The sexual tension between Jungkook and Kangjin tonight’
‘Did anyone else see the way Kangjin was looking at Jungkook?’
Seokjin worried for a while, but decided to push the thought aside. But then he couldn’t help but realise that Jungkook hadn’t called since he left. He looked closely at the pictures of jungkook and his bassist, Kangjin, and a wave of nausea swept over him. They were stood close together, foreheads pressed together, deep eye contact that made Seokjin feel like he was intruding. In other videos, Kangjin was watching Jungkook like he was a piece of meat, like he wanted him.
Obviously, the fans didn’t know Jungkook was already in a relationship, so to them, it was exciting to watch him flirt with someone on stage.
Seokjin shut his phone off and rolled over
Seokjin finds Jungkook the next morning, sat at the table with Jimin, his tour manager and Lexi, one of his back up singers.
They didn’t react much to his presence, continuing their conversation as Seokjin put on a pot of coffee.
“it will be at least a month. Starting in LA on the sixteenth, then to New York,Chicago, North America, Europe. We’ll probably take a short break and then head to Asia. A couple of shows in Seoul and Tokyo, then back to America”
Jungkook nods, “in terms of my band…”
“we have that all sorted” Jimin says, “you just have to worry about the album, okay? After what happened in Europe, you need to be on top of your game, okay? or this might be your last tour”
At the mention of the Europe incident, everyone goes quiet. Seokjin tenses, knowing all eyes were on him, but he just focuses on pouring his coffee.
“Seokjin? we’re kind of trying to have a private conversation here?” Jimin says.
Seokjin finishes making his coffee, and turns with a sigh, “what?”
“could you leave? i don't want Jungkook distracted”
“This is still my house. If you want to discuss anything private, or more specifically, discuss me, then do it in your office. That’s what it's there for”
Everyone looked shocked. Jungkook looked down, jaw clenched,
“Seokjin-“
“no. I know i’m not welcome, but this is still my house,”
He leaves the kitchen, coffee forgotten, and closes the bedroom door behind him.
He starts to change, tugging on jeans and a hoodie as fast as he could.
A few minutes later, Jungkook slips inside.
“What are you doing?” he asks,
“i know where i’m not wanted” Seokjin mumbles, “it would be nice if you stuck up for me sometimes”
“Seokjin-“
“i’m just going to see Yoongi and Namjoon. Chill”
He leaves Jungkook in the bedroom, grabs his keys and slams the front door behind him.
The minute Yoongi opens the door, Seokjin starts talking.
“I’m at the end of my tether” he says, walking straight passed Yoongi and flopping onto the couch beside Namjoon, “All i wanted was to go to law school, meet a nice guy, and maybe get a dog”
Namjoon and Yoongi sit in silence as Seokjin gestures wildly with his arms, “instead i’m dating a celebrity who basically acts like i’m more of an inconvenience to his day than the love of his life, i’m following him around the world and being talked down to by his stupid managers”
Yoongi crosses his arms, “we told you not to take him back”
“i know! but i love him so much” Seokjin feels himself starting to get choked up, “i really fucking love him. I was willing to forget about what he did, because it was a mistake. I want to be with him. I love him and it makes my stomach hurt and i feel nauseous all the time and i don't want to feel like this”
“He needs an ultimatum” Namjoon says, “He can’t keep treating you like this. You tell him that he either starts to make an effort, or you’re gone”
Seokjin frowns, “yeah. Okay”
He gets home after Yoongi makes him lunch. Jungkook is alone now, sat on the couch with his guitar.
“Hi” Seokjin says, leaning against the front door,
Jungkook’s head snaps up, “Hey”
“Sorry for being off earlier” Seokjin says,
“it’s okay. I told Jimin to stop bringing up what happened in Europe” Jungkook says. He’s still strumming his guitar, and Seokjin keeps getting distracted by the veins on the back of Jungkook’s hand,
“we need to talk” Seokjin says. He sits on the coffee table so his knees are touching Jungkook’s, “can we talk?”
Jungkook looks worried, “okay…”
“Don’t worry. I’m not leaving. Or… i am but- God…” he closes his eyes, takes a breath, “i’ve been patient. i’ve followed you around the world, i’ve scraped you off of various pavements in the middle of the night, i’ve helped you write albums, but i don't get any credit. All i get is attitude and i don’t deserve that”
Jungkook nods, eyes wide, anticipating what Seokjin was going to say next,
“i need something of my own. I want to make this work with you, okay? I love you, and i don't want to throw us away. I just need something to do” Seokjin smiles, “I want to be a lawyer. I’m going to apply to start my legal practice course, here in LA. So… i wont come on tour,”
“oh-“
“you don’t need me there. I know you love this job, and i want you to be focussed, and i want to focus on myself for a while”
“okay” Jungkook says, “i’m happy for you”
It doesn’t sound genuine, but Seokjin is sick of arguing, so just smiles.
It was a step in the right direction.