Chapter Text
Luz had long lost the motivation to imagine anything beyond the reality she was being shown. She grew up as an optimist, always seeing the good in everyone until she reached the point in her life where that idealistic nature may not be that applicable anymore.
She had her fair share of bullies and snarky, rich teenagers that liked to get on her nerves. Once upon a time, Luz thought she knew how to handle people like that and thank goodness for how she grew out of that stupid idea that if she ignored it, it would go away.
It was not exactly how her mother wanted her to turn out, but if she had to deal with different kinds of crowds like that for four straight years, Luz bet anyone would get tired of playing nice eventually. Unexpectedly, those insulting words urged her to turn stuck out tongues to hard punches in their faces. Somehow, in the middle of her first fistfight in the parking lot behind Hexside, her mind blanked out, as if she was just watching everything occur from a screen while her body continued the assault.
Of course, she was taken to the principal’s office afterwards. Apparently, someone tried to stop her, and it did not happen to be Willow or Gus, but someone from the richer part of the neighborhood, who Luz happened to accidentally hit during the fiasco.
She remembered those golden eyes, piercing through her soul, as if she could see through everything that Luz had gone through and understood it at just one glance. Luz did not mean to, because she had nothing against this stranger, but she guessed everything happened for a reason.
Luz only knew who she was by name; they did not share any classes together, but she has heard of rumors that pertained to a specific student who had mint green hair. What she knew from those regarding this mysterious girl was that she was at the top, not just academically wise, but even socially. She lived in an isolated mansion a bit far from the main road (which would have been perfect for a horror movie), with only five members within their family, everyone rolling in enough money to buy city hall if they were legally allowed to.
During their trip to the principal’s office, the girl was in utter shock from what had happened, and Luz felt the nagging guilt encouraging her to apologize. But before she could, she remembered the shorter girl turn towards her, hissing about how the incident might be written in her permanent record which would ruin the future the stranger had planned for. At that time, Luz frowned and sneered, annoyed at how typical the rich, and perfectly attractive stranger was being.
Amity Blight.
That name left a bitter taste in Luz’s mouth. It was so…so rich-sounding that it irked her so much she wanted to make teasing nicknames for the “valedictorian-to-be.” After their joint trip to the office back when they were near the end of being fourteen, Amity was surprisingly kind enough to cover the incident and said that Luz was only dragged into it, instead of being the one who started everything.
“If you want to fight, fight me. I need to let off steam and you’re the perfect person to do that with.”
There was a sharpness to her voice. It kept Luz on the edge, with how calculating it was and she knew that Amity knew that as well. Luz remembered nodding to that (no, she was definitely not afraid!), noting down how the girl turned tomato red because of how pissed Luz made her, which was oddly fascinating. She was seething back then, with a jagged nail pointed rudely at Luz’s chest, which made the latter swallow nervously. For some reason, she had no doubt that this girl could tear her to shreds if she wanted to.
They were barely friends.
Heck, they only passed each other in the hallways, with no indication of being interested in each other. Luz would not have minded if that had continued. But one day, out of the blue, Amity marched right up to her in the middle of the crowded corridors, with everybody watching in surprise at how Amity grabbed her by her hoodie and pulled her down, nose-to-nose.
Luz could clearly recall what she was thinking back then; Ah, there it is again. There was some kind of fiery fire within those amber eyes, which made it worth more than actual gold. It rendered her speechless, as if Luz found treasure that should have been more valued than it was, even if it was out in public where any person could stare at it and notice it.
So why has no one done exactly that?
“You, me, parking lot at five.” Amity growled, and Luz noticed how the edges of her perfectly white teeth were sharper than the others. This made her brain go haywire, conjuring up theories how it was impossible for this person to be human because she was the epitome of perfection and she was just so pretty, so brave and that pride Luz witnessed for a short while made her heart race for reasons she did not-
Oh.
Luz was rambling again.
She had crushes before, but this was not going to fly.
Because Amity embodied everything Luz hated about rich people. Amity always held her head high and walked as if she owned the place. She hung out with bullies like Boscha and watched from the sidelines, and no- that pained expression on her face was not enough to relieve her of the responsibilities she had over those people.
The thought made anger bubble in the pits of Luz’s stomach and erased the crush thing out of her choices (Ha!). Her brows slanted angrily, and she spat back which made Amity recoil in annoyance. In hindsight, Luz could have gone with it better, because there was no way in hell was their relationship healthy. Sure enough, she met her there and found that Amity’s small frame did not prevent her from throwing a very heavy punch that would have surely broken Luz’s nose if she did not dodge it fast enough.
She thought it was a one-time occurrence and that Amity was only joking about calling her out, but then it became two, three, and then countless of fights. Luz felt bad the first time and offered to patch her up, which Amity reluctantly agreed to.
During the sudden change of how people perceived her, from optimistic and flowery Luz, to what they decided as “badass,” she had gained some kind of weird popularity and admiration from those around her. That, or it was because no one else could freely argue with a ‘Blight’ in broad daylight. Either way, there seemed to be some sort of understanding between the two where their jabs became more playful rather than offending.
Luz was fine with that. Amity felt like the kind of girl who would have loads of problems and yet, would not let anyone help her with them. She doubted Amity would take it well if Luz ever offered her help. Either way, she did not want to leave Amity unchecked, especially after one of their fights where Amity almost left four scars on her face, so Luz ended up looking after her through subtle, unconventional means.
Like throwing paper balls at Amity whenever she was spacing out at the library, obviously stressed out about something, or bickering in the cafeteria where she would accidentally bump into her just to test if Amity was going to reply or not.
If not, there was something wrong and Luz would take drastic measures in inviting her out to the parking lot for de-stressing activities.
They were barely friends.
Even if Luz was concerned, barely friends do not check on each other with “Are you okay?” words nor did they have the aching desire to buy stuff for each other. Luz knew what they were so she kept Amity at an arm’s length, hoping that she was subtle enough that Amity would not catch on.
Because barely friends were not supposed to care or be concerned about each other.
So, imagine her surprise, when Amity called Luz out after some time and they ended up sitting across each other in The Owl House where Eda stared at her as if she had grown a second head for the very reason that Luz never brought anyone other than Gus and Willow into the restaurant, and yet here she was, with a new person – the only other person Luz brought in.
“I said I wanted you to…date me.”
Luz could never forget how her heart fluttered at those words, and how hard she prevented the blush from overtaking her face. It was a good thing that she was sitting because otherwise, she would have stumbled forward and fell on her face, in front of such a pretty girl who manage to often piss her off. This was very unlike the Amity Blight she was told and had seen.
Amity was strong; her chest was always puffed out, back always straightened (even when she admitted publicly that she was far from that), and posture always stiff. She strode through the halls with a dominant aura to her, which always made Luz look in awe.
But here she was in front of her, face unhappy as she said those words. It stung a little bit, as if she was forcing herself to do so, but Luz could understand. They knew nothing about each other and stuck to bruising each other’s skin over asking get-to-know questions. Luz was going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
So, she clarified- while she nervously fiddled with the black ring around her finger, she felt the cold metal pressed against her skin spread throughout her body. When Amity scowled after Luz asked her, Are you going soft on me, Blight? It stung just a little bit more. Probably because Luz was asked to fight more than she was asked out on dates. It really should not have come as a surprise when Amity did in fact, clear things up.
“I’ll correct myself. I want you to fake date me. For six months.”
While certainly dating was not everything there was in life, it made her feel less wanted romantically; but by now that was something normal for Luz ever since she could remember.
She was acutely aware that she was staring Amity like she had gone insane. To be fair, it kind of was insane to freaking ask out someone you barely knew. Then again, Forrest Gump did say that life was a box of chocolates, and you were never going to know what you were going to get.
Except that was bullshit.
Or not.
Because never in her eighteen years of life would Luz Noceda have imagined that she would be here. With her frenemy. That she tried not having a crush on. Here they were, sitting from across each other, and literally not knowing much except for the general knowledge they got from everyone else. The only thing familiar about the other girl was the bandages she hid underneath long sleeves, wrapped around by hers truly.
Luz wanted so badly to tell her that it was not going to work. They did not know each other that well, they never spent time together in what people considered as a healthy way and Luz was treading on a thin line where if she pissed off Amity’s parents, they might just ruin her career in this town as soon as she stepped out of line.
Yet even though she knew all of that, she could not bring herself to say a straight up no.
Maybe it was because she liked to think that she knew Amity; maybe she was a little bit curious of how dating worked. Although before answering, she had plenty of questions to ask the other girl- which all boiled down to a single, important one:
Why Luz?
Amity was rich. She was a straight A student who probably had more connections in the palm of her hand than Luz could ever make in her entire lifetime. She had a clique who also had their own connections, so it was uncalled for, to ask for someone who was basically a nobody in the corporate world.
Luz did not know what to expect really- Amity was an enigma like that. It came as a surprise, when she realized that Amity paid attention to her and everything that she deliberately and kind of coincidentally did during her time as a student in Hexside. She listened and knew what was going on, despite being too focused on her studies. She thought highly of Luz without her even knowing and it was weird, it felt so weird, to hear all of it come from the person she thought would come and go.
Then again, Luz found herself often in the same room as Amity, though she never did wonder if it was because they shared similar interests, or it was because the world was just playing with them.
Or maybe it was because a higher being knew Luz did not like her and thus, kept setting them up just to be entertained or something. Either way, Luz had the choice here. She could have said no. Amity was not the type to force her to agree, she knew that much. But seeing the crestfallen look on her face twisted Luz’s heartstrings into knots that were impossible to untangle.
Amity picked her.
When she could have picked Boscha. Or Skara. Or Someone else who might have had everything Luz could never afford and sure, they might be insufferable, it was only for six months anyway, Amity could have had enough patience for that. Luz did not want to consider this honestly- it would not end well. There was no way this would end well, she was smart enough to see that, and she was skeptic of the fact that Amity could not.
Except, when she looked at Amity’s face again, she understood. There was desperation in the way she tugged at the hem of her dress, at how her brows furrowed and how her cheeks were sunken. She did not look anything like the confident, strong girl Luz was in awe of from afar. The flame in those golden eyes that Luz admired were dull and small today, and she could not help but want to see more of the Amity that she never got the chance to see.
They were barely friends.
Luz was well aware of that.
But for her, Amity had already crossed that line and Luz was willing to help her out.
Maybe Amity would let her in and they could make things work. Maybe Luz could find a friend in this.
Maybe- Nope, not going to think about that. She was way too out of Luz’s league.
It was completely impossible to name a single thing that solidified Luz’s decision on the matter at hand. There were too many reasons, too many risks at stake, and it was incomprehensible that Luz would allow herself to create this problem willingly.
It was absolutely ridiculous to attribute it all to Amity. Amity, Amity, Amity.
“Okay.”
-
In hindsight, Luz was a tiny bit biased. Based on the typical, inaccurate representation of rich people in media, and how little she actually interacted with Amity through words outside of their usual parking lot fights, her opinion of the top student leaned on the ‘she’s going to be the high maintenance type who hates cheap stuff,’ and that was certainly rude on her part.
But Amity was strange. Perplexing. Went against the tides of life- none of that could fully cover what Luz thought of her.
In school, she was calm and collected; everyone admired her. They looked up to her with stars in their eyes while Luz just stuck her tongue out every time Amity walked past her locker, which apparently was the action that got the girl to notice her. Amity was always elegantly dressed, coupled with how she often stood stiffly and uncomfortably, in contrast to how Luz liked to slouch in public.
So that was why it was quite refreshing to see how Amity was in the morning. Luz was standing at a distance, so she could not tell that easily, but the wild, green mane Amity called hair was visible from as far as the eyes could see- and it was hilarious, how grumpy the top student looked.
She was a normal person then, Luz thought at that moment.
The night before she went to pick her up without consulting her about it, Luz wrung her hands together, as she laid in bed, wide awake. She wondered about what girlfriends did, and how she was supposed to act from then on. Amity obviously wanted to be girlfriends in label only; she never mentioned that Luz had to do something.
But Luz was going to do something. It was her thing. Plus, fake or not, she never had a partner before and this was her chance to do something- maybe even open up her plans from when she was fourteen, or those cheesy fanfictions she wrote down about the fake dating trope that she stashed away on her bookshelf.
Yeah, yeah, I can definitely use those!
Without further deliberation, Luz got out of bed and took out the thick, printed writing that she had done years prior, and laid them down on her desk. She knew that the moment she started reading and took down colorful notes, that she was not going to sleep at all. Her mind went from one thought to another as she wrote down the ideas that popped up and it was supposed to be only for the first day-
She ended up writing a loose schedule for the rest of the week.
When the hand of the clock moved to signal that it was already six in the morning, Luz was ready. She was freshly showered; had combed her hair (which was useless since she placed her beanie on) and wore her signature bad boy clothes.
The funny thing was that, Luz being awake appalled her mom. She was greeted by Camila’s shocked expression when Luz rushed down the stairs, and almost flew into the kitchen at her speed just to grab toast and headed off, but without forgetting to tell her mom that she loved her as well.
Luz thought none of her actions or efforts until she pulled over in front of the large mansion. The Blights lived in an isolated area, which only sparked rumors and stories around campus and the townsfolks. Everybody knew where the Blights lived, and Luz was quite impressed at how Amity was able to keep herself together when the media was close to just revealing everything about her family.
That meant that Luz’s privacy was also going to be in jeopardy once people find out that she was (fake) dating the most sought-after girl in their state (maybe it was an exaggeration, but it seems more like a reality in their small town). However, there was no use in deeply regretting that now because Luz already picked up a flower from the shop that neatly sat in the corner of the street that she passed by on the way to school. In fairness though, as soon as she laid her eyes on the garden past the looming, ebony gates of the Blight manor, Luz wondered if she should have just picked some from the bushes instead. She doubted that the family would notice with how vast their land area was.
She just hoped that they did not have white tulips.
Respect. Purity. Honor.
All of those reflected her thoughts on who she thought Amity was. She has earned respect through arduous work, and not because of her family name. She was untouchable; Luz heard every endeavor she had with every suitor from their school and none of them ended well. She remembered snorting at those stories. Before they met Amity face-to-face, they boasted about it, about Amity and objectifying her like she was something to possess.
Luz was sure Amity would not have minded if she threw a sucker punch to their faces at that time. She knew Amity would do fine even without Luz defending her, so she restrained herself. It was quite satisfying to see the results of how Amity dumped them though- and how she still held her head high.
A tulip was fitting to symbolize the beginning. It was unblemished, it meant a lot but not at the same time, as Amity might not appreciate hidden meanings, and if she was ever knowledgeable about the language of flowers (please, she can ask Google for help), then it would not be too suspicious.
Plus, one flower could mean more than a bouquet people bought without even knowing the meaning behind it. Or that was probably just Luz. And her budget.
If all else fails, I can always pick some flowers from the back of her house. She’s never going to know!
No matter-
She loved going against the tides of what people thought was normal.
Nervously, she paced back and forth in front of the gates, pondering on whether she should ring the doorbell or just wait until Amity was awake. But she was not sure when that was. So, she mustered up the courage to press the intercom at the gate, and was immediately greeted by the twins’ loud voices that boomed out of the speakers above her. It took Luz a few minutes to contemplate whether to tell them that she was (fake) dating their sister, before she decided to say yes, I’m here to pick up my girlfriend.
Speaking aloud was nicer than Luz thought. It was strange. But nice.
Especially when Amity came down in a flurry of pink and green and Luz felt that she had brought heaven’s wrath with her as she stomped across the lawn towards the perpetrator of this morning fiasco.
“This is for you, mi novia.”
The words came tumbling out of Luz’s mouth before she could stop herself.
And that was when she realized that she had never given Amity anything other than a bruise and a couple of band aids. This gesture was on a whole other level of intimacy which made Luz’s grip on the tulip loosen. Hours earlier, she was unable to decide on the perfect pet name for her (fake) girlfriend. One that was not going to get her ass kicked.
Babe? Love? Baby girl?
Hell NO.
She could already imagine Amity’s face contorting into a disgusted expression and Luz had the urge to try out those cringe names just to laugh at the other girl’s reactions.
No. Bad Luz, you don’t want her to break up with you on the first day.
When it occurred to her that she could have just used something she was already familiar with, aka language, Luz pumped her fists in the air and whispered hoarsely, “Luz, you are absolutely brilliant!”
What she did not expect however, was how natural it was for her to call Amity those endearing words. She liked the way Amity’s brows furrowed and how her golden eyes narrowed as if she was contemplating whether Luz was insulting her or something else.
It was definitely that something else.
She wondered if Amity was aware of how her cheeks were tinted in a pink flush when Luz gave her those flowers, and there was a tiny part of the girl who hoped that she was the first person to elicit this kind of reaction from her.
Especially when they first laced their fingers together before they entered Hexside. Amity was never going to find out the erratic beating of Luz’s heart, when she had heightened feelings about how Amity’s hand was soft and sweaty (or maybe that was hers), and how it was the opposite of the hard punches that Luz received every time Amity aimed for her side. She recalled how Amity trembled from her touch and how Luz came up with those scenarios in the dead of the night and her responses to that. She knew that Amity was the type of person who hid many things under the rug, which was contrary to Luz who was much more open about her feelings to herself.
It was distracting though; how enamored Luz was with her. Enough that when she first gestured Amity to kiss her after class, her heart fluttered at how soft Amity’s lips were when they pressed on her skin. Amity’s soft touches were different from the rough exterior that Luz had experienced throughout the years and it was dizzying.
Not like Luz was going to admit her thoughts verbally.
Going back, Amity Blight was very complex. At the very least, she had a complicated life which led her to solutions that a normal person could never consider as simple and ordinary.
Now look here.
Luz could never misremember the events that transpired during their fake relationship.
She could vividly recall how uncomfortable Amity looked when Lilith (whom Luz never really talked to in and outside of school), Boscha and Skara came up to them one day, asking her fake girlfriend to play sports.
It was apparent that Amity did not know that Luz did watch her games from when she still played. Actually, she actually felt irritated every time she saw the girl running on the field, making scores here and there because come on, Amity was already top student, she was already very gorgeous, pretty, cute, and every other similar adjective in the dictionary, she did not need to look so good and show off her skills in the field too.
Luz would not have blamed Amity if she had shown off how confident she was with her talent.
Except Amity did not do that.
Instead, Luz witnessed the doubts on her girlfriend’s – err rival’s face. She seemed reluctant and did not even look excited about being asked to lead the number one rugby team in the whole state. The fact that she even accepted being spoon fed for just a few seconds filled Luz with some sort of horror and confirmed her thoughts that Amity was indeed bothered and not in the mood.
And that irked Luz.
She absolutely could not stand seeing the girl who always had her head held high, chin up, back straight and strides confident, reduced to a slumping, uncertain person. She wanted to go off and scold Amity for looking like a kicked puppy because she did not feel like she worked hard enough to earn the position. There were probably a thousand words going through Luz’s mind about how she could convince her girlfriend to think more highly of herself and damn was it surprising to realize that Amity’s head was not in the clouds like Luz originally thought her out to be.
So Luz looked at her in the eyes, and saw the confusion in those amber hues when she laced their fingers together, before she glanced down in a panic and locked gazes with her once again.
“I want to see my girlfriend burn the other team to the ground!”
It was not like Luz was involved in some shady business with the other school (okay, but she does hold a grudge against them for winning that one running competition Luz fought in two years ago), and to be frank, she was not sure about the things that were coming out of her mouth either; Amity looked attentive though that it made Luz nervous enough to sputter out ‘ka-booms’ and bringing up how Amity had once carried a lighter one day just to threaten Luz by burning off her eyebrows.
She was slightly (more than slightly) distracted by the fact that she had just called Amity her girlfriend out loud. And although that would have been normal with their set up, Luz wanted to respect her almost friend’s boundaries.
So when Luz continued to stare only to find Amity smiling back at her and even going so far as to flip her hair in Luz’s face, something fluttered in her chest. The smile tugged at her heartstrings and it took all of Luz’s willpower to not let a blush overtake her face, even though she felt her ears burned hot red.
Shit, Luz bit her bottom lip, She looks like she deserves the world right now.
She also had an inkling that people would willingly give it to Amity.
And Luz would try to beat them all by handing it to her first.
Apparently, Amity had decided then and there in their little lunch table that she was going to go through it. The determined look on her face awed Luz which also made her feel like a proud girlfriend. Although she was blatantly reminded about how Amity was not actually her girlfriend and she had to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest when she got home only to find the “Be the best fake girlfriend” agenda written in bold, red markers on a purple poster greeting her as soon as she entered her room.
Luz remembered staring at it hard for the next ten minutes, her thoughts going way too fast that everything seemed like a blur. Then she also recalled how Amity had dozens of suitors lined up at her doorstep and with a snap of a finger, she could just pick any of them.
She was pretty sure that they had tried to do whatever they can with their money to woo the girl over, and when Luz thought of it to herself, she snorted loudly. She was pretty sure that last year, someone had offered their private jet for the top student just for a trip in Hawaii.
Amity was not impressed.
It was very fun not being on the other side of Amity’s disinterested stare, as she crossed her arms and used her ‘I am a Blight’ tone and fired at the person how showing off one’s money would never win her over and would actually ignite her hatred instead. The satisfaction Luz got from watching the annoying rich kid get burned was what got her focused on Amity in the first place.
That night made Luz realize that these people- ‘competitors’ even- could afford everything that Luz would probably take a lifetime or maybe even three just to be able to buy. She was sure that if she had not accidentally thrown out a punch when they first met, Amity would not have even turned her head to look at her down the halls of Hexside. Heck, it was possible that Amity would have never known her in the first place while Luz was stuck with the bitter knowledge of knowing the girl at face value.
If this was just going to be over in a few more months, Luz wanted to stand out. She wanted to do something unique- something girlfriend-like, and something Amity would remember her by. Even though Amity did not require her to do more than necessary, Luz always prided herself in giving the upmost effort.
It was a Luz thing.
And maybe because Amity never asked for anything she had the means to get so Luz thought she was deserving.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that.
With that, she got up and threw away her blue duvet, suddenly filled with energy. A sense of guilt pulled at her chest when she thought of not being able to spend the next few days with Amity and wow it was not as if they had always spent their days attached to the hip; but there seemed to be an unspoken rule between them since they were fifteen, where they exchange glances whenever they were in the same room together.
That may sound romantic to anyone listening in to Luz’s thoughts, until they realize that those glances were more murderous than longing for one another’s embrace.
Wow, she has more memories of Amity than she could count.
Which was why, when Luz pulled Willow and Gus aside the next day, after demanding that they head to school an hour earlier than usual, there was not even an ounce of surprise on their sleepy faces.
“Luz, what the fuck.”
Luz was already used to Willow’s straightforward potty mouth. Of course, if Luz raised that up, she would be a hypocrite and her trusty plant enthusiast might as well throw her into some poison ivy or something. Gus looked like a zombie; he was barely awake and swayed as if he was bamboo.
When Luz began to explain the plan, the specifics, the measurements, the secrets of the universe and how it revolves around Amity and her first and probably last game in forever, Willow had already covered her mouth with a hand. There was a sinister grin on her lips while Gus peeked over her shoulder with a grimace.
“Woah, Luz. The last time you put so much effort into wooing someone was literally back when you were fourteen.”
Gus let out a sound of agreement.
“Yeah, you said you wanted a ‘hot upperclassmen’ and ended up almost professing your ‘love,’” He made air quotations, curse this adorable friend of Luz, “to that Nevareth guy.”
At that, Luz’s eyes narrowed and she groaned out loud.
“Never mention that bastard ever again. Not in my presence. Amity’s leagues above him and that’s literally an unbiased fact.”
Luz crossed her arms and nodded to her statement. Truly, Amity was better than a lot of her past crushes and she did not know whether that was a good thing or not. Willow rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath which made Gus snicker in response. Luz did not have to guess about how it was probably something along the lines of You’re so freaking whipped.
Because Luz was in fact, not whipped for her rival turned fake girlfriend whom she was giving every effort to make happy.
She had the urge to defend herself in front of a non-existent audience, but she would rather digress and talk about the issue at hand: like where she was going to get Amity’s amazingly good photos (okay that was not actually an issue because she could literally find the school newspaper or the trophy room and she would have no difficulties finding Amity’s photos with her stupidly dazzling smile posted on the wall), where she was going to have them printed, and how to acquire clothing in the span of a few days.
That was when Willow placed a hand on her shoulder, a grin plastered on her mischievous face.
“I know a guy.”
Willow was a good friend. But sometimes, she can give Luz a scare.
Especially when she was handed a sweater that while she did design in a quick doodle, and what originally had Amity’s rugby number plastered on the front instead of BLIGHT, Luz had questioned Willow on the [il]legal means she used to have it made so fast and of top quality.
If Luz ever forgot an important date in the span of the next few months of her relationship with Amity, she could just pull the sweater out and said she had it pre-made with the thought of her.
Heh. Good thinking, Luz.
But while the girl had directed her friends on the things to do, the entrance, the timing and everything, helped in editing the poster that Amity would have surely loved (the sarcasm placed a grin on Luz’s face), she also made time to pick Amity up after classes and practice finished. She even hurried to the convenience store and bought some snacks that were probably not allowed for athletes to eat, judging from Lilith’s judging look when Amity woke her up on the bleachers, the plastic bag with the meat buns still in her hands.
The days went by either excruciatingly slow, or stressfully fast.
Luz did attend her classes. She was not going to trade her education for a fake relationship. Duh. Amity would murder her if she found out her girlfriend in name had skipped classes. Her reputation as top student would take a blow.
And while the whole school was already aware of how she was dating the best girl in town, Luz just wanted to prove it in a competitive way- something that none of Amity’s suitors have ever done. She wanted to show more than just them professing it through unsure words like how they did during their first day walking in together with hands intertwined.
All throughout the preparations, Luz’s head was only filled with the things she was going to do for Amity. Then the realization hit her like a truck, when she uttered how she was going to be late for the rugby captain’s game, how upset her girlfriend really was because of her actions.
She found her standing alone in the field staring into space and lonely, and Luz felt like she had failed.
Because she had always noticed the way Amity was never comfortable with her group of friends, and Luz had left her alone with them for the next few days. Just because of some stupid shenanigan that she planned out for her.
It was ironic, how spending time with someone could mean more than doing something for them first. It dawned on Luz, after Amity showed her disbelief that Luz did attend her games beforehand, that she had supported Amity unconsciously, even before all this began. But Amity never knew that.
She was always much more focused on bigger things where Luz was never in the picture.
It was not hard to understand; they lived in two different worlds. While Luz had always noticed her, Amity was not obligated to do the same especially with the sea of students in the prestigious high school that they belonged to.
It doesn’t matter.
Luz was just here to do what she was asked to do.
When the day came, Luz was running late. She frantically searched for her pom-poms while Gus screamed bloody murder, trying to fit everything in Luz’s small hatchback, when they finally arrived at the game.
She could never forget the day how flushed Amity looked as she played, glancing up at the amazing banner Luz conjured up with her two, awesome and supportive friends from time-to-time.
While Luz did say that something temporary would not matter in the long run after their break-up, she still could not fake the happiness that came from her effort to having everyone in Hexside openly support Amity on the field. The precious smile was back on Amity’s face, and Luz felt like her heart soared in her chest. Before her mind could catch up to her, she had already picked the rugby captain up from the ground and spun her around. Luz kissed her cheek with so much fervor that she nearly forgot how they were still in public and that she maybe had little to no right to feel proud-
but she did.
Amity sputtered out how Luz owed her for the hours she disappeared, and how she did not take her home and for being generally ‘dumb’ which elicited an unexpected snicker from the taller girl. She remembered putting Amity down and hugging her way too tight, the cheers of their peers turning into white noise in the background. For a while, Amity let her, and awkwardly patted her back with the hand not occupying the trophy.
And at this point, she was just hoping Amity would continue letting her do what she wanted, without confronting her about it.
Because just for a little longer, she wanted to keep Amity in her embrace for reasons unknown to her.
She honestly was not sure how long she could keep playing the game too.
_
You know what?
Luz did not really expect to meet the Blights on the same night.
That meeting will forever be embedded in her mind, knowing the fact that it was probably not going to be the last time she was going to be face-to-face with the owners of the top business where they were.
It was obvious where Amity got her scary dead stare from. Odalia Blight’s piercing blue eyes scared the shit out of her, but she held her ground because this was exactly why Amity asked her of all people and she did not want to let this girl down.
Any other day, Luz would have run away. But seeing Amity there, frozen in fear and having to remember that this is what the well-known heiress comes home to everyday, filled Luz with an urge to protect her at least once.
“You can do better than this.”
Those words rung in Luz’s ears and her chest tightened up. It should not have bothered her as much as it should have- because she knew. More than anyone, she knew that Amity deserved the best. But Luz was trying. She was aware that people could give Amity something much better, and could easily earn the Blights’ approval for that; that does not mean that anyone could put Luz down easily.
She had to deal with that crap all her life, and she was not going to let Amity’s parents say that when Luz did everything she could up until now just to stand out. Then there was one thought that kept her from breaking down in front of those stupidly frightening gazes.
Amity picked her.
She recognized everything that I’ve done in Hexside and didn’t put me down for it.
Amity thought of Luz as an equal. No hierarchy existed between them and she trusted Luz enough to stand with her in this very spot. Something boiled inside her- the fact that her parents would not even respect their daughter’s choice and would encourage her to have dinner with someone else while she was in a relationship made Luz upset beyond words.
So she played her part as well as she could. At some point, she ended up holding Amity’s hand and another point where surprisingly, Amity stood up for them.
Luz wanted to cry.
She really did.
She might have looked as if she was doing great (that was thanks to her short time in the theatre club at her old high school), but Luz felt like she needed to break some plates after what would have transpired tonight.
Their meeting could have gone any other way, but Luz was glad on how it ended. She whispered reassuring words and tried to calm Amity’s shaking shoulders. It broke her heart to see the girl’s lips quiver as she leaned into Luz’s touch like she was starving. She did not hesitate to pull her closer, to the point that she even removed her jacket to wrap it around Amity as if she had done this many times.
In the deepest parts of her, she probably did imagine doing this with someone. But unlike the past, she now had a name and a face to put on the person she wanted to do this with so naturally. Before she knew it, Luz offered to hug her in the guise of her cheery self, only to nervously play with the black ring on her finger, twisting it around as if it would lessen the nerves and blur out the smell of sweet lavender.
She never expected to be cuddling with Amity on the hard steps up to the Blight Manor’s doors, with her jacket, her precious well-kept jacket, on her fake girlfriend’s shoulders.
She found it a bit upsetting to find that her green jacket ended up looking like a really good fit on the petite girl.
Dios mio, this girl could probably model the ugliest clothes I’ve ever seen and she would still look amazing.
….Maybe I should make her wear a trash bag just to check.
Jokes aside, Luz was not going to lie. At the very least, she did not expect Amity to fall asleep in her arms which forced her to call down one of Amity’s siblings.
Unsurprisingly, that was not the first time Amity did fall asleep while she was with Luz.
She had so many memories of their fake relationship that haunted her in dreams and in thoughts.
Luz’s stomach churned as she vividly remembered how sleepy Amity was on their first date; how Amity exuded the same level of excitement as she did when they watched The Good Witch Azura in the theaters. How she looked like she was having fun when they went ice skating and whenever she nearly fell, she would let out a high squeal followed by a string of curses after.
Then there was the ride home.
Luz’s heart skipped way too many beats that it was a wonder how she was alive when her fake girlfriend leaned in sleepily to kiss her on the cheek. By the gods, she barely grazed Luz’s lips when the taller girl just wanted the precious beanie her mother gave her that sat on top of Amity’s head.
But she was never going to trade this night for any other.
She carried Amity up to her room with the help of Edric and Emira, who left them alone swiftly as they opened the youngest Blight’s door. Luz sat on the edge of the bed for what seemed like hours. She stared openly at her fake girlfriend’s face, memorizing how Amity’s usually furrowed eyebrows were not relaxed as she breathed. Her long eyelashes were something she usually emphasized with black eyeliner, and Luz did not really know if Amity had make-up routine in the morning, because the only thought that ran through her mind was that Amity looked wonderful.
She was slightly miffed about the fact that there was someone who existed that looked amazing even while asleep.
That was probably when she started becoming aware.
The pounding of her heart tripled whenever Amity was focused on her. She sucked in a sharp breath when the girl pretended as if she was not into cats and yet caught Amity outside of the gates of Hexside to feed some white cat, with a smile on the top student’s face.
On a more important note, Luz never really had someone outside of her family do something for her. It was not like she expected it. She liked to do things for people; she fought for Willow and Gus in freshmen year against bullies like Boscha and Mattholomule, she ventured into a dangerous, off-limits place in the woods just to get King his chew toy back from stray dogs, she wore an owl costume called Owlbert outside of The Owl House just to promote Eda’s business and she did her best to stay out of trouble that could get her expelled just for her mother.
It was her love language.
Amity though-
She did not know where to place her in.
She did not really want to think about it.
So it came to her as a surprise when Amity called her out for a date.
And it was absolutely Luz’s first time being asked out on a date. Fake or not – She frantically got out of bed, hair unkempt as she opened her closet and pulled out every kind of clothing she had, all while she had a red face going for her.
She went out that day with a new shirt that had a cute little pocket on the side of its chest, brought along her green jacket (not for herself) and sat in Amity’s car, trying not to glance over the other girl who wore her fashionable tunic that was not exactly up to trend, but of course. Amity had a wide range; her clothes were either hot pink to ebony black.
So Amity, Luz snorted.
“Is that a new shirt?”
Luz stuttered out her reply, her ears burning hot. She knew she was not exactly dressed up unlike the other girl, but it was either her striped shirt, her unwashed clothing, or that shirt she bought when she was fourteen where ‘I’m not completely Straight-Forward,’ was printed on the front in all its bisexual glory and she was trying to make an impression here.
Actually, she would’ve probably liked it.
Not like Luz cared what Amity thought about her shirt.
... Well, she did not before, anyway.
On the matter at hand, she was surprised that Amity brought her to an arcade she never knew existed in the area. Maybe if this happened during their first month, Luz would have thought that Amity finally had enough of her and brought her out to the woods to finally commit the crime of murder.
She never imagined competing with her inside Skara’s arcade, talking about marriage and being all touchy. At this point, Luz was afraid that she might not be able to keep her hands to herself because of how she was so used to having Amity in her arms.
Then there was the surprise at The Owl House.
Luz almost cried.
Because Amity looked so happy with what she had conjured, and she looked as if she did not do it to spite Luz, but because she genuinely wanted this. She wanted to throw her hands around her fake girlfriend and hug her tightly.
But the surprise did not end there.
Eda explained how Amity directed all the decorations, emphasized on the blue food that she had learned to love over the years, and then when she thought that all had been said and done, Amity pulled out a gift, and Luz soon found a new beanie in her hands. She blinked rapidly and tried not to cry. She remembered being younger, and people making fun of her ears just because they were as expressive as she was in her words and actions. The insecurity ran deeper than she thought, and her mother had bought her a beanie.
Luz wore it ever since.
She ran her thumb over the beanie and pulled it towards her chest. She could tell that Amity chose it carefully, from the way it was knitted, to the brand, to the color and at the thought of Luz.
Luz felt an explosive mix of emotions within her; it rose to her chest, and she tried not to choke.
“I love this!”
It was the truth.
Then she pulled off the beanie on her head and placed it on Amity’s. Something so special to her, worn out with time, but so sentimental. It looked good on her. Everything always looked good on her. The next thing Luz knew, she had pulled Amity out of her chair and spun her around before she held her close. The presence of the new beanie on her head felt so perfect. It felt something new and something bloomed in Luz’s chest.
When she looked down into Amity’s eyes it was as if she was seeing the sun within those golden hues.
Luz had always been very cheesy.
But she would be lying if she said she did not see a whole new universe in that split-second that she stared into Amity’s eyes before she pulled her so close that Amity had buried her face into Luz’s chest. She remembered how Amity tensed up and sucked in a sharp breath before she relaxed as Luz traced circles on her back.
That was when Luz realized the yearning that made itself known, after being forced in the back of her mind from even before they began dating.
I want to do this forever with her.
_
Then there was the party.
It was still so vivid in Luz’s memories.
Guilt filled her half of the night when she was dragged away from Amity. She remembered how she glanced back to the door only to find how distraught Amity looked. As soon as she was pushed outside into the backyard, the strong smell of alcohol greeted her as she wrinkled her nose. She tried to untangle herself from their hold, loudly emphasizing how she needed to go back to her girlfriend and that she was waiting for her.
The only reason she agreed to go to Willow’s unhinged parties was because she wanted to spend the night having fun and showing Amity a good time which Luz was sure she had never experienced after being stuck in the Manor for most of her life. This was not going as planned but her words only fell on deaf ears as they dragged her towards a ping pong table in the middle of the backyard, where red cups decorated the corners of its top.
“We got a prize if you win!” One of the guys that Luz recognized to be Barcus exclaimed.
Frankly, Luz did not give a fuck if they did.
Not until they waved around how it was a limited leather bracelet that was more expensive than Versace. Apparently, a drunkard had chipped in a lot for a game of beer pong. Honestly, Luz would not have cared about it, no matter how out of her life savings the bracelet was; but what caught her interest was how her girlfriend, the one who called her her person, had loved those kinds of stuff. She had trinkets and branded jewelry, but Luz had never seen her wear a bracelet.
It would suit her.
That was why Luz wanted it.
The purple beanie that she kept clean on her head reminded her of how Amity bought it for her, (while Luz let her keep the original, rugged beanie) only made Luz even more determined in winning something that was worthy for her girlfriend.
She shivered as the wind blew today, and she recalled how her shoulders slumped seeing Amity wear a sweatshirt to the party, which meant that she did not need a jacket. Still, Luz insisted as she gave it away, another jacket out of her closet and into Amity’s. But of course, no number of jackets could ever amount to the prize in front, that Amity could wear whenever she wanted.
Luz: Willow, I’m doing something for Amity right now. If you aren’t busy, could you go check on her for me, please? 7:02 p.m.
Willow: Why the fuck would you leave your girlfriend to do something for her? I’m not a babysitter but you better cough up a good price afterwards. 7:05 p.m.
So, Luz endured the cold as she played, thanking the skies that most of the students were too drunk to even shoot a ball straight at the cups on her side of the table. When they did though, Luz made a show of drinking them, only to pull another drunk student near her to have them drink it, which they did so happily.
The unfortunate thing was that Luz lost track of time of how long she had been there. She snatched the black box that contained the bracelet from the pillow where it sat in. Technically the game was not over; but everybody but here was either not paying attention or were too drunk to play and in Luz’s logic, she was already the winner.
She quickly made her way back inside the loud house, worried about how the noise was probably too jarring for Amity now. Amity, Amity, Amity. Her name was the only thing on Luz’s mind as she ran from the kitchen to the living room, pushing aside sweaty bodies and turning down the drinks that were being shoved in front of her.
As Luz sped walk, her frustrations grew. She regretted not going back quickly; especially when she was the one who asked Amity to come and there was no one familiar here enough to accompany Amity other than Willow and Gus. But she did not know if Willow kept her end of the bargain because she stopped replying to the flurry of texts Luz has been sending for the past thirty minutes while Gus was doing something illegal for the first time in his life: vandalizing the sidewalk with chalks.
Then she bumped into someone.
“Luuuz!”
Luz definitely did not know who the chick was. Her words were slurred as she slumped forward. She was obviously very drunk with how flushed her face was, blue eyes wide and wild. Luz just gave her an awkward wave before her eyes wandered the room, looking for a specific green-haired, amazingly pretty girl that stole Luz’s heart without her knowing. The robber was definitely somewhere here; knowing Amity, she was probably sitting in a secluded area.
She was brought out of her thoughts when the girl leaned forward towards her, almost looping her arms around Luz. Luz tensed up and backed away as the girl reached out to hand her another alcoholic shot.
“No thanks.”
But the stranger was so insistent. She tried to grab Luz’s hands and muttered about how much Luz was going to enjoy spending the night with her. It made Luz feel sick. The combination of the fact that she could not find Amity and the disgust from how this girl was hitting on someone who was already in a relationship made Luz’s blood boil. But what almost got her to commit physical injuries was when the girl scoffed at the nth verbal refusal Luz had given.
“Do you really think the Blight’s good enough to satisfy you?”
Holy fucking shit.
Luz grabbed the drink wordlessly, as her head throb with how angry she was. This girl did not know what she was talking about. Luz was going to kick her ass for even insinuating the fact that Amity was less than what she really was. Instead, a string of curses flew out of Luz’s mouth as she broke the glass before shoving the girl back. Because of how drunk she was, the stranger stumbled towards someone else, and it was like a domino effect where they all ended up into a pile of stupidly drunk teens that were probably going to be covered in vomit in a few seconds.
Angrily, Luz turned around to continue her search. Maybe she was going to do a devious prank this week on that person, and Luz would feel no remorse for it after her statement. She wanted to defend Amity so bad even if she also knew that Amity could defend herself. Heck, she would have created a whole study entitled, “Amity Blight and Why She’s Better than Most People” with a P.S. Especially why she’s 1000% better than a stupid blonde stranger from Willow's party. Then Luz was going to have it published in the school newspaper with the help of that well-known publisher who happened to be Luz’s friend, known by her alias, “Tiny Nose.”
That was when she saw Amity in the corner of her eye. She sat in the corner of the room, looking like she was having an existential crisis. It did not look like she saw Luz, but relief washed over the girl so much that she shouted Amity’s name excitedly. She pushed past some of the students and shoved the others who were probably going to hinder her one way or another as she made her way to the couch.
Then she saw Amity panicked. Her girlfriend stood up and looked around before she started walking away. Luz felt a pang in her heart that she had to suppress if she wanted to keep Amity from leaving. In a moment, Luz found herself on her knees in front of Amity Blight apologizing profusely.
Amity looked like she was about to cry and the pain that Luz felt was like a spear that struck her heart ten times.
“Look….Look, it was a dick move on my part, I get it, but I promise you that the prize was really good and I honestly did it because I thought you’d like it.”
When Amity’s gaze softened and she said it was okay, Luz shimmied up to one knee and raised the small, ebony box up to Amity’s face. She could not keep the excitement in, and she was bursting at the seams at offering her gift to the girl that has long occupied everything that was Luz.
The next thing she knew, Amity was hugging her and everyone was whooping from the right to the left. That was not even the weirdest thing that happened to them that night. There was a ringing in Luz’s ears when Amity proposed to go up stairs and it felt like the air was taken out of the taller girl’s lungs. While there were a lot of implications that Luz could overthink regarding that statement which left her flustered beyond belief, she knew Amity. She knew the girl was probably looking for reasons to get away from the crowd and there were a lot of empty rooms upstairs. Luz on the one hand, also preferred less people, maybe even no people at all, so she ended up carrying Amity to a room she thought was unoccupied.
Only to be dragged into a game of spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven.
At that time, Luz pulled Amity so close to her and finally presented the bracelet. They had seven minutes left and Luz wanted to make the most of it. She wrapped it around Amity’s left wrist with ease and clasped it. She felt absolutely nervous, and she hoped Amity could not feel her trembling fingers and ignore her shaky breath.
In this small, silent closet, Luz was quietly wishing that Amity would not hear the rapid beating of her heart for the nth time. Especially when her girlfriend, her person, untangled herself from her arms and flipped herself over. Soon, Luz came face-to-face with Amity, their foreheads pressed together which made Luz a bit conscious about how the strands of her hair were tickling Amity. This was the closest they have ever been, where Luz’s hands were wrapped around the petite girl’s waist, their noses brushing against each other as they both held their breaths.
And Luz has watched and read so many romantic movies to know where this was heading.
But she was also highly aware of the words she said to Amity a few months ago.
Slowly, she felt Amity’s arms wrap around Luz’s neck and it tickled. This only brought Amity closer, and Luz’s eyes widened when she noticed those wonderful amber hues flicker downward to what Luz assumed were her lips. There was a swirl of emotions that threatened to break out of Luz’s body as the blood rushed to her head.
Just a bit more.
Amity was so close.
And Luz realized that if Amity did do it- if she did kiss her, Luz would let her.
It was at this moment that she realized that she would willingly give Amity everything. Even the one thing that Luz held close to her guarded heart. She always dreamed of a perfect date; a perfect girlfriend or boyfriend who would willingly wait until Luz was ready and until Luz was certain that her partner was the person who she was going to be with for the rest of her life.
It could have been anyone, and it could have been Amity Blight.
The longing inside Luz grew as she watched Amity contemplate on something. It could have been anything really. But Luz would wait for her. She was always going to wait for what Amity wanted.
Because Amity was important.
Luz was a wizard of words, but Amity was an enigma beyond her magic. She was incomprehensibly beautiful, too wonderful for every existing words to describe and she was someone Luz had learned to treasure over the years.
The only thing that Luz was a hundred percent certain about was that she was hoping Amity felt something. Anything, when they were close. Luz wondered if she also had trouble breathing when Luz touched her, when Luz kissed her, and if she noticed even the smallest gestures that Luz would do for her.
“I can’t breathe.”
Those words were embedded in Luz’s mind. It was tattooed on her whole body the moment Amity spoke in the softest and most vulnerable voice Luz had heard from her.
That night, she did not know what to tell her. She did not even think about the weight and implication. But when Amity shuffled away from her, Luz had the overwhelming urge to pull her back and love her the only way Luz knew how to.
So she did, guised under ‘’lip pats’’ and soft kisses. Something swelled in Luz’s chest that led her to almost choking on tears that would not come out.
Was it because she was expecting something that never came? Or was it because she had been so used to having the girl close?
Yet she was so far away this moment.
Still, she tried reaching out to the girl, inching closer on her knees and pressed her lips against Amity’s cold, porcelain skin.
I can’t breathe.
Luz’s chest tightened the more she kissed Amity anywhere else than her lips.
Everything usually happened so fast for Luz. Her thoughts ran ahead of her, her mouth tumbled out words that either made sense or did not, her legs kept shaking whenever she felt intense emotions and her head buzzed constantly with ideas, scenarios and-
Amity.
Amity, Amity, Amity.
“Can you breathe now?”
Amity’s eyes glistened with tears, and Luz could tell that much even in the dark. Luz’s hands brushed her cheek comfortingly as Amity answered in the negative.
That was the first time Luz drove back home without making any stops, alone with her thoughts.
If she had to pinpoint a specific point where Luz started to hope, it was probably there, when Amity’s words haunted her. It felt like something changed then, when the truth came to light. Something shifted in their dynamic, it was formidably intense, but less charged than before. It was not as if Luz did not expect it to shift into something she did not quite expect, it was not as if she expected Amity to feel something at all, because Luz held her in high regards- on a golden pedestal even! Every time people reminded her in passing that Amity was leagues above her, Luz acknowledged it head on. She was proud of her, she was so happy for her and maybe she even had unspoken feelings for her.
Then there it was, the plot twist.
“I can’t breathe.”
Huh.
“Luz…”
Huh…
Her eyes flickered downward, to soft lips and she swallowed nervously.
Huh!
There was a moment as Luz toed the speed limit while flying down the quite streets of Bonesborough that she wondered if she enabled all of this purposely. She forced herself in Amity’s bubble. She did not nip the misguided attraction she had in the bud. She swerved around the corner, as she breathed in heavily when the realization dawned on her how important those words were.
Then she stepped on the break.
She remembered lying down on her bed that night, eyes wide with sleeplessness as she stared up at the ceiling and wondered how things escalated to that point.
Could Luz have done something differently? Had she approached this the wrong way?
Would Amity have wanted her to have done her part the way she was supposed to? No efforts, just letting them do what they wanted, leaving Amity to be the top student she was supposed to be.
Should Luz have declined?
But Amity…found her there. In the middle of a life crisis where Luz thought no one else would become important to her other than her family and two friends. When Luz had to keep up the pretense of being the cool, bad boy delinquent everyone made her out to be, yet Amity saw through the lies of omission. Because of her parents, maybe, but that did not change the presence of the suffocating, uplifting pressure in Luz’s chest in their current situation.
And she saw Luz consistently with the thought that she was the same nerd inside who loved Azura books and cheesy dates.
And Luz gave in to her feelings.
That was why all this happened.
Luz’s feelings were a drawn out, never ending conversation with no words.
But she was afraid.
Of what?
Maybe it was the spur of the moment that made Amity do what she did. Maybe if Luz raised it up, Amity was going to deny it profusely, tell her to forget about all of it, let’s go back to the way we were. Maybe Amity was not ready and was just confused.
But Luz was sure.
Terrified, but undoubting.
If Amity had started to feel the same emotions that Luz has had for a while, then she was not planning to ruin what they currently have. Luz could wait. Maybe Amity needed time to figure it out. Or maybe she was planning to add another rule where they could say those three, precious words that Luz wanted to keep for someone who felt the same.
Now that they have exchanged all those words with their bodies and broke the tension and hostility, their fake dating had become the new normal to them. But Luz thought that even with all the staring, the awkwardness, the eagerness, and after finding out what all of those really meant, she could have steered it back to calmer waters, back to where they were they were before. Not talking, just watching, fighting until their fists turned red.
Maybe it was not right for Amity to feel that way, not like this. Not during a fake relationship. Back in the closet, those eyes, shaky and vulnerable after having confessed such an intimate truth, reminded Luz too much of herself when she thought she loved someone and ended up with countless, outright rejection.
Amity deserved something real.
Luz was aware of that.
But was it wrong that she felt flattered? Was it wrong that she perhaps wanted to keep herself from getting rejected once again by avoiding the issue for lip pats? Was it wrong that she wanted to spare Amity that sting during this whole ordeal?
Or you’re sparing yourself.
The worries waned quickly as the night passed by, and in its place there was just nothing. Just the quiet of her purple room and the faded ceiling boards.
It isn’t real.
No, it definitely was not real.
Whether Amity changed her mind or not in the remaining months was up to her. Luz was going to let her do what she wanted. Whatever made Amity happy. But Luz was still going to be Luz. She was going to show Amity how much she cared, be there for her the way she was never able to do openly back before they started this whole thing. Luz was going to keep cheering for her. She was going to do everything possible on this earth to be the best girlfriend to Amity Blight so that the girl could never forget how much fun she had with Luz Noceda.
Maybe Luz could not give her a forever, but she was sure as hell going to give her the best now.
Because even if it was not enough- even if it will never be enough, it had to.
Even when her lips quivered, and eyes blurred with tears as she thought of all these things, it just had to work.
And by the time the knotted thoughts that stressed her out finally left her to sleep, she already knew that their fifth month had already started.