Lasagna-themed!Dwight sues Angela for kicking a pebble

by Pronkbaggins

Summary:

My sister gave me this prompt

Angela drove into her parking spot at Dunder Mifflin quickly, parking somewhat crookedly. She was late, again. For the last three days she had to take her cat to the vet because he kept eating her leftovers. Angela hated being late. She hated it more than a young mage hates their “big nose” spell backfiring and making their own nose big.

As Angela slammed her door shut and grabbed her things, she nearly tripped on the parking curb. In frustration, she kicked a pebble and some stray bits of asphalt aside and ran into the building. She straightened her clothes out and checked her appearance in the glass to look professional before coming in and sitting at her desk.

“Woah woah woah, late again Angela?” Michael said, trying to intercept Angela as she came in.

Angela gave him a tight lipped smile and made her way to her desk.

Michael was still chuckling to himself, trying to think of a joke about being late.

As Angela booted up her computer she was met with a flurry of papers being slammed down on her desk. She jumped.

“Well, well, well.”

Angela looked up and wished she hadn’t. Dwight stood in front of her, arms on his hips, decked out in a full lasagna-themed suit, his hair dyed bright orange. He smelled strongly of pasta sauce.

“Dwight, what?” she said curtly.

Dwight tapped the papers with his index finger to get her to pay attention to them. Angela looked down at the paper, which read “Schrute v. Martin, District Court of Pennsylvania.”

“Is this a lawsuit??” Angela started in disbelief.

Dwight scoffed, waving Kevin away because Kevin kept smelling him.

 

“What does it look like, Angela? Of course it’s a lawsuit. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your pattern of misbehavior over the past couple of days” Dwight scoffed.

“Dwight, this is ridiculous” Angela said, putting the papers down “you can’t sue me for being late.”

“Late?” Dwight said, looking around as if everyone else agreed that Angela just said the dumbest thing.

“Why are you dressed like that?” Angela interjected.

“You think it’s because you were late?” Dwight continued, unbothered “no. You kicked a pebble. Again. Did it yesterday too. Chapter 16 of the Pennsylvania Code, Angela. I thought you knew your stuff.”

“Where are you hiding the lasagna?” Kevin asked sternly behind Dwight as Dwight waved him away. He turned his attention to Angela again.

“See you in court” he said, smirking smugly.

“This is ridiculous” Angela repeated, throwing the complaint in the trash.

“You can’t escape a summons” Dwight protested “I will see you in court.”

“No you won’t” Angela said sternly “now if you don’t mind I need to get to work. Please leave. You smell vile.”

“This is Italian cologne” Dwight protested again. He lowered his voice and muttered “Jim said that being lasagna themed would make my case an instant win.”

 

“Leave” Angela said sternly.

Dwight huffed and scowled at Jim’s desk, stomping over to Michael’s office.