Chapter Text
Remus’s hands shook as he gazed down at the grave in front of him. Their names, carved carefully into the marble, swam in his eyes as they filled with tears. Lily Potter. James Potter. Harry Potter. His mind drifted back to when Dumbledore had broken the news to him, left him shaking in the great armchair sitting in front of his desk as the man blinked at him forlornly, his eyes glinting with unshed tears over his half-moon glasses. Remus had curled up on himself and screamed, his stomach twisting up into his throat. James was gone, Lily was gone, their beautiful baby boy was gone, Peter was gone, and it was all Sirius’s fault. Sirius, who he had trusted more than anyone in the world, who he had loved more than anyone else in the world. Sirius, who had betrayed everyone who’d loved him. He remembered how he had crumpled to the floor, shaking, his breathing labored and rushed, his mouth filling with his tears, and Dumbledore’s hand in his, pulling him to his feet. He remembered his hands on his shoulders, pressing down firmly, shoving him back to reality. He remembered the apologies Dumbledore had muttered to him softly as Remus had thrown himself into his shoulder, his arms encircling Remus and holding him like one would a small child who had fallen off his bike, supporting him as his knees buckled.
As the memory passed through his mind, his knees crashed to the ground once more, as he bent over himself and retched. He had come to their grave today hoping to find a little solace, to ground himself, if only a little, on the year anniversary of their passing, but it had done nothing but make the memories fresher, rawer, more painful. He heard a voice, as if he was underwater, but nevertheless one he distinctly recognized, despite not having heard it in over a year, echoing from behind him. “Oh fuck, mate,”
He turned around, instantly scrabbling backward, his nails digging into the dirt, until his back met the coll marble of the grave behind him. Standing less than 20 feet away from him, looking as weary as Remus felt, was James Potter. He spread his arms slightly, palms turned towards Remus. “It’s me,”
“No,” Remus exclaimed. “No,” he started again, as he watched James move to take a step forward. “Stay right there,” he dug into his pocket for his wand, gripping it so hard he was afraid it would snap. “Stay right fucking there,” he snarled. “Don’t move,” The man in front of him faltered. “He’s dead,” Remus began. “James Potter is dead. Who are you? Who the bloody hell are you, and what are you doing walking around looking like my dead best friend?” Blindly, he wondered if this was a Death Eater, here to finally kill him off too.
“It’s really me Rem, I swear. I had to disappear, and I’m sorry. If you let me, I can explain everything to you. Please,” the man’s voice broke. “Please Re,”
“How the fuck am I supposed to believe you?” Remus felt his voice shudder,
“My name is James Fleamont Potter,” the man began. “I’m married to Lily Evans, and my son’s name is Harry James Potter. Your name is Remus John Lupin, your parents are Hope and Lyall. You’re a werewolf. I’m an animagus. I became one in 1974 with Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew in 1974 to help you through your transformations. I’m a stag. Sirius is a dog. Peter is a rat. We spent nearly every full moon with you until the end of Hogwarts, until we graduated and you moved in with Sirius. You two had been dating since the end of fifth year, but we all knew you were in love since third year.” Remus felt his heart contort in his chest at the mention of his history with Sirius.
“Speaking of you and Sirius,” the man… James?... continued, “You didn’t talk to each other for half of our fifth year. Snape had almost caught you mid full moon, and you thought Sirius had betrayed you, and he felt too awful to tell you Snape had used Legilimency to find out because he thought he should be immune after how much his parents used it on him. I had to pull you aside before our Ancient Runes O.W.L and tell you because it was the only class we didn’t also have with Sirius. It was the only O.W.L I scored higher than you on. You got an E, and I got an O, and I couldn’t even brag to you about it, because every time I thought about you bolting out of the room the second the exam ended, running through the halls until you found Sirius, and you slammed him into the wall and kissed him in front of everyone. All three of us cried, and Peter found us all sobbing in the hallway behind the tapestry of Merlin, and he jumped about a foot in the air and hugged all of us until he started crying too.” Remus felt his grip slowly relaxing on his wand, and found himself leaning towards James as he continued speaking.
“I dated Regulus Black from third year till seventh year. We broke up when he became a Death Eater because he was determined to protect me like he’d been protecting his big brother all those years. The only people who ever knew were the three of you, and now Lily. Regulus is the reason we’re still alive today. He’s the one who came to our door and let us know that You Know Who was coming to kill us that night. He was the one who brought us to the place we’re staying in now, and he’s been the one keeping us safe from You Know Who again because he’s our Secret Keeper now. I’ll tell you anything else you want to know. I’ll take Veritaserum to prove it. I’ll do whatever you want Re, but please believe me.” James finished, tears trailing down his face.
Remus opened his mouth to answer, to tell James that he did believe him, he had told him enough, things no one else would ever know, but he couldn't get the words out. Instead, what came out was a choked sob, and a rattling breath as he pushed himself off his knees and began to run towards James. James raced forward and caught him, hugging him to his chest, his arms like a vice around his back, and Remus gripped him back just as tightly. He buried his head in James’s shoulder, as sobs wracked his body, and felt James mirroring his actions. After several moments, he drew back, laughing elatedly. He dragged the sleeves of his multicolored cardigan across his face and saw James pressing his hands wrapped in the sleeves of his peacoat to his eyes. After a few seconds, Remus froze. “Does Dumbledore know you’re alive?”
James’s expression soured immediately. “No, he doesn’t, and he bloody well won’t if I have anything to say about it.” Remus took a step back, shaking his sleeves back into a comfortable position.
“But why?” he asked, confusedly.
“Rem,” James breathed. “Where is Sirius right now?”
“In Azkaban,” Remus said angrily. “Rotting for his crimes. For betraying you.”
“Sirius didn’t betray us.”
Remus’s breath caught in his throat. “Then who did?”
James met his eyes, holding his gaze as he said it. “Peter,”
Remus felt all the air left in his body disappear. “What?”
James nodded blearily. “He was our secret keeper. We changed at the last second because he mentioned that Sirius might be too conspicuous of a choice.” His tone turned bitter.
“He was a Death Eater. He did it for Dumbledore at first, but he got won over by the promise of power. He betrayed us in return for his own protection, and for his own position. Regulus overheard him telling You Know Who he knew where we were, and he managed to listen long enough to hear our location. He Disapparated right after, and we found him pounding on our door. He told us You Know Who knew where we were and was coming for us. We forced him into staying in Harry’s room with us, wandless, until the door downstairs was literally blown down. He Disapparated with Lily, holding Harry in her arms, immediately, and he came back for me and the cat the next second. As we disappeared, I saw the door to Harry’s bedroom get blasted open. We’ve been living in the place he brought us since then, and we have no idea where it is. The only reason I can get here and back is because I know what these places look like. I don’t know where everyone thinks he is, but he won’t let us go out without him. I had to promise him I’d come back within 20 minutes or he’d be coming to get me. I can explain more, but I don’t think we should worry him or Lily any longer, considering it's been near that since I got here.” He held his hand out to Remus, who grabbed it without question.
They appeared at the bottom of a hill, and as they trudged up it, James continued his story. “Dumbledore couldn’t have known that we switched to Peter obviously, but he didn’t even try to get Sirius a trial at all, let alone a fair one, even though he knew Peter was a Death Eater.”
Remus pressed a fist to his mouth, trying not to cry for the third time that day. “All this time, I thought he’d betrayed us, and I’d wondered how I hadn’t seen any of the signs. Of course I hadn’t seen them. There was nothing to see.”
James grabbed his free hand, gripping it tightly. “None of this was your fault Rem. It was all Dumbledore’s. He raised us as his child soldiers and he let us die as he saw fit.” Remus’s eyes watered as he thought of Marlene and Dorcas, murdered in their own home, and of Frank and Alice, tortured beyond recognition after James and Lily had been nearly murdered. James met his eyes, and seemingly read his mind. “Peter killed Marlene himself. Reg heard him bragging about it after one of the meetings. You Know Who himself had to kill Dorcas after, she was too strong for any of the rest of them.” James tilted his head back, blinking back tears.
“Well,” he sniffed. “Here we are.” He knocked a pattern into the door, bringing his fist back down to his side, still clenched. The door flew open to reveal Lily Potter, face furrowed and mouth open like she was about to scold James before she caught sight of Remus and promptly screamed. She threw herself forwards, dragging him through the doorway while she hugged him so tight her nails dug into his arms. He heard a thud as James closed the door, and even more thuds, which soon revealed themselves to be Regulus's steps from the other side of the house as he burst into the front room, wand raised. Remus caught his eye over Lily’s shoulder and quickly held his hands up as far as he could with her small frame weighing down his arms. Regulus groaned heavily, dropping his head into his hands. “Merlin Lily! You cannot bloody do that to me.” Lily responded by reaching out blindly until she found Regulus’s wrist, and dragged him into the hug as well. Remus heard James chuckle from behind him, and watched his arms encircle the other two, nestling his face into Regulus’s shoulder.
A high-pitched gurgle sounded from the next room, and Remus’s head shot up as the other three disentangled themselves. “I’ll go get him.” Regulus’s tone was fond, as were the looks the young parents gave him as he exited the room, returning a few seconds later with a young boy on his hip.
“Merlin, Harry. You’re so much bigger than the last time I saw you.” Remus said excitedly. “Do you remember me at all?” Harry began babbling, and held his hands out, straining towards Remus. Regulus chuckled, and set the boy on the ground, and he immediately toddled over to Remus, still babbling. Remus scooped him up and held him to his chest as he looked around the room at the other three adults in the room. “So Harry has three parents now then?” he smirked. Regulus shook his head ruefully.
“I’m only here until everything can go back to normal,”
“Nonsense,” Lily cut in. “You’re stuck with the two of us forever now. I don’t believe Harry would forgive us if Uncle Reg suddenly disappeared.”
At Regulus’s name, Harry’s head turned towards the man. “Papa!” he declared. Remus felt himself tense slightly, but everyone around him laughed. Harry’s face lit up as he glanced around the room. When his large eyes landed on Lily, he shouted “Mama!” and Lily nodded brightly at him.
“Yes! Such a smart boy! And who is that?” She pointed to James.
“Dada!”
“Yes! What a very very smart boy!” Lily’s voice was happier when she spoke to Harry, and it reminded Remus of what she used to sound like when they discussed books together in front of the common room fire, while James and Sirius played Exploding Snap next to them. He felt his heart swell. Lily stepped forward, cupping Remus’s face in her hands, her smile wide. She pressed a kiss to his forehead, standing on the very tips of her toes as Remus tilted his head down to meet hers. She took Harry from his arms and bounced him on her hip. “I’m so happy to see you, darling.”
Remus grinned. “Not as happy as I am to see you love.” He glanced around the room, meeting James and Regulus’s eyes. “I’m so bloody happy to see all of you.” He sniffled slightly. James grabbed his hand once again and tugged him forward gently.
“Come on then, I’ll make us some tea.”
They gathered around the small kitchen table, Harry in his high chair at the end, and Regulus, Lily, and James pushed together near him. Remus sat across from the three of them, nursing the cup of tea James had poured him as they caught each other up on everything that had happened since they’d been separated. He noticed Regulus’s hands drifting to James or Lily’s thigh every time they began to tear up, squeezing them tightly in support, until the other's voice steadied. Remus raised his eyebrows at him when James began to clean up and Lily got up to tend to Harry, and Regulus shook his head gently.
Lily disappeared and came back without Harry. Remus started when he realized how late it had gotten. Lily dragged her chair out again, settling in as James began rooting through the fridge and Regulus began pulling out pans and plates from their kitchen cabinets. “So,” she stated. “What are we going to do about Sirius?”