Work Text:
The hanahaki disease...
such a cursed anomaly that humans have ever encountered over the course of the years. People around the world have different types of symptoms but also for the most of them there is only one way to escape this dreadful curse.
That is; death!
Worst part of it was always denial. The fact you had to accept to accept a dreadful death, live day by day not knowing when you will die was always the hardest part of this life.
For those strong enough who could actually accept it and live by it, it was no less easy. The worse for them was probably rejection.
Being rejected by the person you thought could save you, cherish and protect you from harm was one part of the mind you can never set at ease.
Indeed it wasn't hard to fool someone; people around you would agree and see you cope with it. Accept it and move on, call you brave and praise you. but you knew deep down...it was already over.
Anger as a stage of depression, not accepting your fate and being in denial everything would be alright. Yet in that small corner of your mind you know its basically futile to keep denying it.
Barging with fate way just not possible to the only logical thing would always be acceptance and embrace!
For some death was such a sweet sorrow yet you had to wait..patiently until it slowly kills you and set your soul free.
Either it was love or sadness, an unfulfilled accomplishment or a romance went wrong you could never avoid the cold and empty void inside of you. Over the years hanahaki has developed so much most people just couldn’t stop it from happening.
The fact you kept denying the stages of your depression or sadness, sorrow and grief, one way or another the disease catches you and traps you between her roots of suffering. It was inevitable and trying to deny its existence was even worse.
*
for Dick it was indeed a hard acceptance!
Knowing his sweet Damian died in such a brutal way, knowing he will never be truly happy with him ever again and live every day without him... it was a curse far bigger than the hanahaki! His sweet little Robin always here close to him was already gone and nothing will ever change that fact nor bring him back.
Small white petals constantly falling from his lips; spreading themselves all over the floor and bed whenever he went to sleep. He would cough and choke on them, feeling the petals drift down his throat and fill his lung.
"forget-me-not" they called it. Indeed it was a perfect flower for him and his torturous days.
Remembrance and loyalty this flower had a double meaning to its beauty. Dick would always call their relationship as loyal indeed but after his death he would never have thought of coughing down those beautiful flowers knowing just what they meant.
Conveying the message of -always remembering your loved one- Dick had to live day by day remembering that Damian wasn’t with him anymore.
HIS Damian... knowing how he changed.. Knowing things could have been so much better if he only came in time.
Knowing HE could have made a difference.
the disease was growing, arching... disturbing him.. making him almost choke during the night when he wakes up, lungs full of flowers as the air just couldn’t go thru.
it was a curse... but one curse that Dick accepted. He accepted the fact his feelings were true and he will always remember Damian as the boy he knew. The boy who changed for the better and the loyalty and love he always will feel for his loved and missed one.
Unlike Dick, that never had issues admitting he had the disease, Jason was completely anonymous to it. Jason would never admit he had a reason to cough those disgusting petals.
In his opinion it was weakness, but also respect...
A sign you’re human but also not in complete control of your emotions. He wished he could shut them down, mourn and move on... but he couldn't.
he didn’t!
Grief, compassion...sadness! All words Jason would express while thinking of Damian, white Gadiola's petals slowly brushing over his tongue and poking at his teeth as he tried to swallow them down and ignore it. ignore the pain and the obvious longing he had for the small boy, making sure to keep it bottled up inside him for as much as he had to.
he could hide it from others...he really could, not even Dick noticed and the man was one of the best intuitive people Jason ever knew.
Jason was happy he could hide it from everyone one but he couldn't fool himself. At all!
Those white soft petals always lingering somewhere inside his mouth, chocking him, provoking, wanting to get out.
Petal’s, as poison slowly consumed him to the point he didn’t want to leave his safe house for few days.
Damian was dead and Jason could only mourn in silence at his apartment while the white, gentle petals chocked him.
The more he grieved the more the flower grew.
He had to escape this sorrowful curse! The curses of never seeing Damian again, poke jokes at him and harass the little demon.
Every time he would look at Bruce he would remember him, so the only logical solution was to distance him away from the family.
it was for the best.. His best? no! he was slowly dying, yet for everyone else. it didn’t matter for him, probably not many of them will notice his absence! But as long as Jason did the right thing with the rest of his life, he could know his existence wasn't in-vane.
he did what he had to! he didn’t want to accept it but he had to live to the fullest! earning the respect of his own being and mourn Damian in the only way he knew.
Solitude!
Probably the weirdest of all of them was Tim! he didn’t mind sharing his grief with the rest of the family but he had a hard time accepting and admitting it was actually all true. He tried to bargain with his own mind, maybe it was all a nightmare? Maybe a weird dream? Anything was better than the harsh reality of Damian being gone, away from his arms and embrace.
huge purple flowers filling his bedroom floor all around him, bed probably the worst part of the entire room.
Tim didn’t even choke on petals anymore, the fact he literally threw up purple Hyacinth was already proof of his love and sorrow.
Sorrow and regret! The perfect words to describe his feeling for Damian, knowing far too well he could have, NO, SHOULD have done more.
told him... speak to him
just be honest with the boy,
they always argued and complained. Annoyed the heck out of each other but they were never true to themselves.
or at least Tim wasn’t.
the apology he never uttered out, the grief and sadness he had inside his soul, and the fact he was hurting so much, lungs burning and his guts twitching in pain.
he didn’t even bother swallowing down the purple flower, it was already wrapped around his stomach and lungs probably placed its root inside him, slowly devouring, chasing his life spawn and killing him at slow pace.
he dreamed about Damian many time, hugging the boy, confronting him, speaking his heart out, yet it was indeed too late.
Damian was gone, and his spirit already left the manor. Tim didn’t want to know when or why! he still liked to pretend Damian was there with him, in his room slowly caring for him, watching over as he sleeps.
indeed Tim was delusional, but what wrong did he have? in this twisted game of death and pain he had the right for delusion, his time was already ticking fast. at least he will enjoy his last days just like ha wanted them.
with Damian!
Bruce's suffering was usually hidden in all the mist and misery he wrapped himself with. but this time Bruce was so vocal to express how much he regret Damian's death! Mourning and crying didn’t solve anything.. he had to take things in his hands.
Coughing out Lilly flowers, white and pure as the soul of his child, covered with blood as he tried to ignore it.
this didn’t stop him! it never will stop him, even if he had to die to save his son and stop this dreadful sickness he would never stop.
not at any cost.
his beloved son was everything he wanted back into his arm! to hug and embrace him, accept his feeling and cherish him more.
the white Lilly flower was the flower of sadness, meaning so much to him and his broken soul already half gone with Damian's death.
he used this flowers during Damian's funeral, knowing it could mean the "restore one's soul" maybe not meaning anything to the other, but it meant a lot to him.
he had to try everything for him, for Damian!
even if he had to visit the pits of Hell to get his son back to him and into his arms.
the family and their friends were grieving, suffering from their lost. The family lost a valued member and the world lost a great future hero!
but there was one boy who actually hurt so much he hid himself inside his own mind and rejected everyone.
Jon was locked up in his room, staring at his plate not knowing what to do with it.
eat it? Throw it away? What was he supposed to do?
the huge Orchids in his room, in his mouth and all over his chest were growing so much Jon stopped caring.
his father knew this, but he couldn't do anything to stop his son from destroying himself. Jon was his own person and this was his own life, the small life span he didn’t even care about.
superman finally found a challenge he could not win over, and that was saving his son from certain death.
Jon just ignored all the help and advice he could get, seeing Damian's face in his mind, body moving on its own to hug the gentle soul that was lost to his real touch.
the boy cried for days, completely lost from the pain, not truly feeling it down inside him. he wasn’t human no, but he wasn't fully kryptonian so his body still felt pain
and indeed it was self destructing itself from the inside, dreadful death!
Orchids... the eternal love and great admiration... respect for his beloved as he watched him sleep inside that cold coffin, sleep as if time had stopped and everything was frozen.
he coughed and coughed, everyone noticed that, knowing Jon's feeling for the young boy. Jon knew himself for a long time now.. and he couldn't do anything!
he was powerless to help his beloved Damian anymore.
he wasn't there... he will never see him again! get scolded by him, yelled and hit!
it was over!! Eternal sleep for an eternal beauty!
but Jon knew Damian was watching over him and maybe... just maybe as the pain became numbs and his eyes shut down, he hoped to see his angles and maybe dance around in the huge gardens above the sky together.
reunited again!