Chapter Text
“You want me to do what?! ” Ha-Neul chokes out and looks up in alarm- homework now long forgotten in favor of staring the other boy fidgeting across the room.
Their friend visibly flinches at the way their voice cracks in the end , and slightly curls into himself as his eyes dart around looking for the nearest escape route “I-"
“I just don’t want to do something that’ll set back your progress, okay?” Ha-Neul sighed, leaning their head back on the couch to stare at the ceiling “ You’ve already gone through enough shit as it is and I don’t want to be the one to add to your distress. I refuse to be another one that hurts you.”
Saeran felt his mouth go dry, his heart beating faster at the complete honesty in the other one’s words. There was an ache on his chest and he felt weak as happiness and affection washed over his body.
Hae-Neul felt the redhead place his hand on top of theirs, fingers sneaking between their own. The movement felt natural, born out of countless moments in which they sought strength and support from one another. This is what they’re afraid of losing, should they comply with his request- of breaking the delicate bond they’ve formed through the year-and-a-half spent together in their quest against the RFA -and later on against Mint Eye- and the almost now two they’ve spent in Boston.
They felt their throat close up as Saeran squeezed their hand. “If I talk about this with my therapist first, to see if I’m ready.” he mumbles, staring down at their joined hands “Would it- would you be okay with that? To do this, with me?”
They inhale sharply and damn it, they can already tell they’re losing this battle “I- Only if she agrees with it.”
Ha-Neul can practically hear the smile on the little shit’s face as he huddles closer to them. “Okay.”
They let out a weak breath.
“Okay.”
Things go back to normal after that, and the days rush by as they juggle their time between cramming for college, taking shifts at the coffee shop and bickering with Saeran for his eating and sleeping habits.
No matter how much he insists, ‘I’m a grown up!’ is not a compelling argument.
And after that one conversation, they decide to do what they always do and take it in stride. They pretend not to notice when their ‘normal’ shifts to a new one as Saeran uses their blessing to be more physical with them. It starts off with the smallest details- him brushing his hand against theirs during breakfast and fingers ghosting along their arms, neck and back whenever they sprawl next to each other on the sofa to watch a movie.
They let him grow comfortable with the gradual increase of physical contact, never showing signs of either encouragement or displeasure at his almost childlike exploring. They never try to initiate the contact either, always letting him be the one to get the ball rolling.
Because even if the touches aren’t anything like the ones they’ve shared with previous lovers, they aren’t the ones shared between friends either - the reasoning behind them is not the same, and thus it is a completely different territory; one that Saeran has to experience at his own pace.
It takes him almost two weeks to see that they won’t push him away for his advances before he once again increases the contact.
Late nights of studying are now occasionally accompanied with the warmth of a body pressed next to them on the carpet and fingers every now and then rising from a keyboard to play with a loose strand of hair from their messy bun. Sunday’s (anime) cartoon mornings end up with a head on top of their lap and their fingers running through shaggy hair while they mention it’s his turn to wash the pile of dishes on the sink.
Things stay like this for a good amount of almost 3 months when, on an evening shift at the coffee shop, Saeran brings up the matter of kissing.
Only, instead of talking, he approaches the topic by marching up to the counter and awkwardly slamming his lips against most of their cheek and only the corner of their mouth.
His attempt might’ve been funny to Ha-Neul if it wasn’t for the way he had bulldozed over the client they had been attending in order to do so. Sure, the man had been -quite badly- flirting with them while they tried to take his order (and they might’ve been ticked off when he didn’t take the hint) but it still didn’t excuse Saeran’s actions- nor for him to decide it was his call to make at all , as far as they’re concerned.
They promptly stop the redhead's further attempts at landing a proper one on their lips and hastily apologize to the client, offering to give him his order ‘on the house’. Then, after waving at their coworker to prepare the man’s coffee, they proceed to drag a fuming Saeran towards the employees bathroom, locking the door behind them.
They choose to ignore the wolf-whistle sent their way by a cackling Saeyoung. It’s about time they talk about boundaries and consent.
It takes them a good half an hour to settle the topic and another 10 minutes for Saeran grumpily offers an apology to the client after they threatened to let Saeyoung spend the week inside the apartment.
They’re still pretty pissed at Saeran for acting the way he did, but they think it was rather worth it when, two days later, he approaches them and asks loudly and clearly for their permission and waits until they answer before gently pressing their lips together.
The end of the term exams are now approaching and Ha-Neul