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If Jun-Ho was sure of one thing in life, is that his brother In-ho loved him. And that he loved him too.
For him, it was just as certain as Newton's laws, like the fact that the sky was blue and that the Earth spun around the sun. For him, it was an axiom, a universal truth that no one could debate.
Jun-Ho also loved his parents, but he couldn't really tell if they loved him too.
And you couldn't really blame him when it was actually In-ho who looked after him during most of his childhood and teenage years; when it was his brother who made him breakfast before school and the lunch after classes; when it was him who calmed Jun-ho when he had nightmares.
All of this often made their age gap look more like 20 years instead of just 4.
Jun-ho didn't know how to properly spell anything else than his name when he understood that he should avoid his father at all cost if he arrived after 11 pm slamming the front door.
He also soon learned that it wasn't worth trying to decipher what those screams and cries at midnight were saying.
At eight, he learned what was an orphanage, he didn't understand why he and In-ho ended up in one though.
Both their mom and dad were pretty much alive last night, having one of those fights that they always had, but alive.
And for a scaring second Jun-ho thought about the other option, but In-ho quickly came to calm him, like he always did:
"It's okay Jun-ho, we are going to leave soon, our parents are.. just a bit busy to take care of us right now." In-ho promised, with a gentle smile on his face but something darker in his eyes that the little Jun-ho couldn't quite name at the moment.
And like always, In-ho was right.
Just two weeks later a man in a suit picked them up and took them back home, where they were only met by their mom, who looked just a bit more tired than usual but still had a smile on her face. He didn't ask where was dad or why mom only worn turtle necks since then.
Without dad around anymore, mom was always too busy to take proper care of Jun-ho or In-ho -Not that she really tried before- and money wasn't abundant during those years, but it was okay, they eventually figured it out.
Until Jun-Ho's kidneys began to fail just a couple of weeks after he turned 19, and Jun-Ho never felt so scared for his life, knowing how serious it was and that they didn't have enough money for either the surgery or for the necessary care after this.
"Hyung... I'm scared."
He remembers telling him one of the nights In-ho stayed with him at the hospital. No one said anything for a couple of minutes, which for Jun-ho felt like years.
But after a heartbeat In-ho smiled, using that expression that always convinced Jun-ho that everything was going to be okay.
"Don't be, brother. You're going to be fine, I'm going to solve this." He took Jun-ho's hand in his, determination glaring in his eyes as he kept talking "I promise."
And so he did, after disappearing for a week without calling or having communicated in any other way In-Ho reappeared with just enough money for the surgery and the hospital bill, even offering himself as the needed organ donor.
"See? I told you it would be fine" Was the first thing that his brother told him once he woke up from the surgery with a new scar in the bottom of his belly, his smile wasn't the same this time though, but it was comforting enough for Jun-ho.
After a week or two after the operation, Jun-ho tried to ask his brother how he gained the necessary money in such a short time -He always was of the curious kind after all, but a dark glance and a serious expression convinced that it was better not to ask, that he should just be grateful of being alive and healthy again.
Neither of them mentioned the topic again.
He, later on, joined the police forces, and naturally, the first to know it was In-ho.
"So, what do you think?" He asked anxiously since In-ho hadn't said anything in the last five minutes after he handed him the acceptance letter from the police academy.
"So... You want to be a cop." Was all he answered, expression and tone revealing nothing.
"Well, yes. Hopefully a detective." Jun-ho was now a bit confused, In-ho was never one to ask about something already said.
"Jun-ho..."
"Look I know what you're going to say!" He immediately went to defend himself "You're going to say it's dangerous, that it's not like in the movies or shows! And you're right, but I wanna do it because I wanna help people and at least save one life or make it better, since you know... I was in some way given that opportunity..." Jun-ho's scar became itchy for the first time after leaving the hospital.
There was nothing but silence for a moment.
In-Ho opened his mouth but then quickly closed it back, whatever he wanted to say left hanging out in the air. That was new too, In-ho didn't use to overthink or doubt his words.
"I see" In-ho got up and handed back the paper to Jun-ho who awkwardly changed in his feet as he saw his brother heading to the door of the room.
"In-ho..."
"It's okay brother," In-ho turned out and glanced at the younger man, "This actually doesn't surprise me, after all, you always was one for justice. I'm happy you're following that dream." He said in a rather affectionate way, and even though his words sounded genuine the same couldn't be said about the smile he tried to pull out.
But Jun-ho was too happy to notice it.
"And I'm happy you're happy."
Five years later Jun-ho would often think about all of these moments during his time on the island.
He needed to remember why was he doing all of this, why he would believe the nonsense of a drunk man on the commissary, why he would follow a car and then a cargo ship in the middle of the night, why he would kill that man to get in, why he would let that man's filthy hands touch him...
All of that was worth it if he at least got to get his brother's corpse. Because In-ho deserved it, because he had done so much for Jun-ho during all of his life that the younger wouldn't get to live with himself if he at least didn't try.
When the frontman took off his mask, Jun-ho's world collapsed.
This wasn't real, this couldn't be real.
Were all that Jun-ho could think while still pointing his gun -one bullet still at the charger- at the frontman, yes, the frontman and not his brother, because that dark figure wasn't In-ho, he would never do something like that.
He would never organize such a sick thing like this, he would never let people just die for the amusement of a few rich ones, he would never let someone do that to Jun-ho...
"Jun-ho, please hand down the phone" the frontman pleaded, and Jun-ho couldn't deny it anymore, that was his brother's voice coming out of his brother's face with an amount of affection and worried that Jun-ho has only heard coming from one person during all of his life.
Jun-ho began to put the pieces together.
Five years ago In-ho was the winner of the games, if he remembered the dates correctly that happened just a few days after he was interned in the hospital.
That explained everything, In-ho's initial absence of six days, how he got the money needed for the surgery so fast, how changed he was afterward...
How he didn't see it coming earlier?
"No" Jun-ho shook his head, even if it was his brother the one behind all of this there were still people in danger, people he could still save.
"Don't make me pull the trigger" Jun-ho asked himself if he would be capable of that because now Jun-ho himself couldn't.
He then came to the conclusion that all of this was somehow his own fault.
After all, if it wasn't for his stupid body which couldn't even make his organs work as they were supposed to, In-ho wouldn't have needed to recure to the games and none of this would have happened.
It would have been better if they had let him die five years ago in the hospital?
If during most of his life he hadn't depended so much on his older brother that he didn't have the opportunity to develop all the potential he certainly had?
If he made it alive out of this infernal island how was he going to explain this to their mother?
How could he tell her that he had not only failed in finding his brother (because he just found a monster in his place) but also, that he was essentially the reason of all of this?
No.
Maybe he didn't to tell her.
Because maybe, he didn't have to see her again after this.
Because that may not be his brother at all, but he still acted in some way like him, he still looked the same.
Maybe after this, the monster would go back home and pretend he was In-ho, just like he was doing right now, maybe his mother wouldn't realize.
But Jun-ho surely couldn't live knowing it.
"You won't need to," Jun-ho said firmly, determination in his gaze and a smile on his face as he pointed the gun to his temple, "Because I'll do it myself"
"Jun-ho!"
And he pulled the trigger.