Chapter Text
It was the morning of the first day of the trial and Matt was struggling to just keep his composure as he searched for his shoes under the bed in his temporary room. It had been almost a month since Matt had come to stay with his friend; almost a month since Josh had been released from the hospital. It had been three months before then that the police finally found Josh-bruised, battered, and half dead- in a diner bathroom nearly 50 miles from home, a waitress trying to keep him alive while the perpetrators only made it 5 miles down the road before they were apprehended. It had been just over 4 months ago when Josh had gone missing, but none of that mattered as Matt tried to make his tired mind work so he could finish getting ready.
Matt had been up since dawn. He had showered, ate a light breakfast, and had even taken Bennie out for a small walk. The sound of water running across the hall told Matt that Josh had just now woken up which meant that, by the time they made it out of the house, they would still have to speed to make it on time. They didn’t have to be to the courthouse until 9:00am, but already Josh’s mother had called twice to make sure the boys were running on time. Both times Matt had answered, and both times he had to lie, not only about their timeliness, but also concerning why her son wasn’t answering his own phone. Matt felt guilty for lying to Corlynn, like he was just another piece of scum adding to the stress that she was already feeling, even if she would never find out, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth. If she had known that Josh had been up all night dealing with nightmares from his time away from home, then she surely would’ve come even more unglued than she already was, and Matt was almost certain that was worse than the possibility of her realizing that Matt was being less than truthful.
Matt was still contemplating his standing with Josh’s parents when, 15 minutes later, Josh came into the room and took a seat beside Matt. His shaggy hair, which he had dyed completely black at the suggestion of his lawyer, was still wet, his dress pants had obviously not been folded before he had put them on, and his dress shirt was unbuttoned exposing the scarred skin underneath. The closer Matt looked he could also see that Josh’s shoes remained untied and his hands were shaking as he twisted them around in his lap. That shaking was a side effect of the horrors that he had experienced at the hand of his captors, something that the doctors had said would eventually disappear just as his bruises had. Matt had also noticed that Josh had been limping when he had traveled into the room, just another wound that only time could heal.
“Would you mind helping me with my shirt and shoes?” Josh asked, breaking Matt out of his own head.
“Sure,” Matt smiled as he knelt and quickly tied Josh’s shoelaces tight. He then stood and went to work at the pearlescent buttons. “But you know that if you never try this on your own, then you will never be able to dazzle the ladies again with your dashing dress, right!?”
Josh gave his friend a melancholy grin, before standing to tuck his shirt into his pants.
“Besides,” Matt continued, grabbing his jacket and starting down the hall not bothering to see if Josh was following. “I can’t live with you forever. I mean, it’s been fun, but this whole living with a guy really hasn’t helped my dating prowess any more than living with my parents did.”
Matt stopped by the kitchen to grab the car keys before he started out the door. “I take it that I am also going to drive?”
When he reached the car and still didn’t get an answer Matt turned around to make sure that Josh was following. What he saw was a very tired, and sad, looking man struggling to do up his tie in the door way and when, after what seemed like an eternity but was really only about 30 seconds, Josh still couldn’t get it, Matt sighed and trudged back up the walk, his shoes crunching over the dying autumn leaves.
“I’m sorry.” Josh mumbled his voice barely audible over the sound of the wind. “I am so sorry, Matt, for everything.”
Matt sighed as he did up Josh’s tie and then stepped back to take a better look at his friend. He had thought that joking around and acting like nothing had really changed would do Josh some good; that it would make everything seem right. The truth was, though, that everything about Josh’s world had changed, and Matt in an attempt to make things feel right had just come across as insensitive.
“Don’t you dare apologize for this,” Matt started as he reached out and gripped Josh’s shoulder “This never was and never will be your fault. If anything, I should be the one apologizing to you. I’m the one who has been acting like a Jackass lately.”
Josh smiled at that and reached up to push Matt’s hand back down. “Well, you have always been kind of a Jackass, so don’t worry about it. I’m used to it by now.”
Matt glanced down at his discarded hand before looking back up at Josh. “Why don’t we head to the courthouse now? We’ll be late if we stay here and talk about my shortcomings for much longer.”
This gained an even wider smile out of Josh. “My mom called this morning, didn’t she?”
“Yeah,” Matt said as he turned and started back towards the car. “And that is something you should apologize for. Having to lie to your mom made me feel like shit.”
Josh chuckled as he pulled open the passenger door and stuck his left leg in. “Well, if you don’t say anything to the contrary then I won’t. Now, let’s get to the courthouse. We have a long day ahead of us and I would like to try and make it through without resorting to caffeine.”
Matt nodded out of understanding and worked his way into the driver’s seat. “You ready for this?”
Josh fastened his seatbelt and let out a long sigh. “I don’t think I will ever truly be ready for this, but I’ve got to make sure that that guy gets what he deserves, Matt. I won’t be able to live again until I know that I fought back, that he didn’t break me. I need some kind of control back.”
With that, Matt simply nodded and started off in the direction of the courthouse. The only thing he felt in control of was the car, and even that was a fleeting feeling.
~~~
Corlynn paced nervously up and down the hall as she awaited the arrival of her only son; the son she had almost lost less than 4 months ago. Sitting on a bench, not more than 5 feet away, was the rest of Corlynn’s family. Her husband, Miles, was silently fixing his tie, while their daughter Sara tried to keep from staring at the door that her little brother should’ve walked through minutes ago. Mike and Ian, who had come to show support for their friend, were also sitting there talking quietly among themselves as the hands on the clock moved closer and closer to 9:00am.
“I thought you said that they were running on time when you called?” Josh’s attorney, Michelle, spoke up from her place on another bench close by.
Corlynn turned to the woman whom they had hired to help win the case against the man who had destroyed their lives and sighed. “That’s what Matt said, but now I can’t be so sure.”
“You should’ve known as soon as Matt answered the phone that they were running behind.” Sara scoffed as she moved to stand by her mother, who was now nervously eying the door. “Anytime that Josh doesn’t answer his own phone there is always something going on that shouldn’t be.”
Corlynn turned her gaze to Sara, and hoped that her eyes conveyed just how much that statement hurt her.
“God! Mom, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Sara quickly supplied and backed away to sit back by her father
Corlynn just shook her head realizing that her daughter was just as worn down as she was. “I know, honey. I know.”
“Well if they don’t get here soon, we are going to have a hard time explaining ourselves to the Judge.” Michelle started up again. “The courts run on a strict schedule. Josh knows that he really was supposed to be here early. I know that this has been hard on your family, Corlynn, but-“
Michelle stopped as the double doors at the front pulled open and Josh and Matt walked in. It was 8:58.
“Josh!” Corlynn exclaimed as she walked up to envelope her son in a hug “We were beginning to worry.”
“Sorry Mom.” Josh mumbled as he held her tightly.
“We’re here now, though.” Matt offered an apologetic smile as Corlynn moved to give him a quick hug too.
“Yeah, I guess you are right.” Corlynn said as she stepped back to survey both boys, before turning to Michelle. “What do we do now?”
“Well, they should allow your family and the boys,” She nodded towards Mike, Ian, and Matt while picking up her briefcase “to take your seats in a matter of minutes. Josh needs to come with me. We have a few things to discuss before the hearing gets underway.”
Corlynn couldn’t help but smile as Josh nervously started to straighten his clothes under the watchful eye of Michelle. She was nice, and had been extremely caring through the whole process, but Corlynn knew that Michelle made Josh nervous when she just watched him like she was doing now. Corlynn moved to give her son yet another hug as her husband did the same. Soon everyone was jumbled into something that resembled a group hug, with Josh struggling for breath in the middle.
“I love you, honey.” She began as the group disbanded until she was the only one left holding Josh. “I love you so much, and just know that no matter what happens in the next few days that that will never change.”
“I know mom. I love you too.” Her heart broke as her son pulled away to give her a quick smile before nodding and breaking off the hug completely.
“We really should get going now.” Michelle intervened gently. “We are already a bit behind the schedule we had set out for before the trial.”
Corlynn nodded and moved to stand next to her husband.
“Do you think we will ever recover from this?” She asked him as they watched Josh follow Michelle down the hall and eventually disappear around the corner.
Miles put his arm around her before answering. “We raised a strong boy. That’s got to mean that we are all strong enough to move past this.”
Corlynn leaned in against him and watched as the hall slowly began to clear. People were being ushered into the courtroom. “Let’s go get our seats, shall we?”