Chapter 1
Notes:
Welcome! This story was once a one-shot, which I am now turning into a full story because I couldn't get it out of my head. Enjoy, and as always, I love hearing what you think!
Chapter Text
It was Natasha that insisted I be brought on. We’d worked together occasionally in the past and had a decent rapport, but I was still surprised to get the call. Maybe it was because Barton spent all his time at home these days and she was sick of being the only true fighting human in the group, or maybe she and Wanda were tired of being the only two girls in the compound. Either way, it was weird to pull up to the compound in the sleek black car that Tony Stark had sent for me.
The Avengers. How I possibly ended up becoming a provisional member of the team was absolutely bewildering. These people were superhuman, some not even human at all, and the few that were besides me and Nat were obsessed with metal armor and jet propulsion. It was intimidating. I was about to go live with gods—both literally and figuratively.
Natasha was on the formidable front walk when I finally emerged from the car. “Well, if it isn’t Áine Dannan. I’m so excited to see you!” she said when she approached for a hug. I dropped your small overnight bag and returned it, smiling when we pulled apart.
“Girl,” I laughed, flipping my blonde curls nervously, “I so don’t belong here.”
“No, trust me, you do,” she assured me as I picked up my bag and we ambled to the front doors together. “If for nothing else than to help me keep my sanity. These people are nuts.” She tossed her red waves over her shoulder as she guided us inside.
As it turned out, I did prove useful. I could tell that the others were skeptical of me at first, needing me to prove my skills (particularly considering I was the shortest member of the team by several inches), but when they discovered my super-special, nearly supernatural skill of anticipating the enemy’s moves three steps in the future, acceptance came easily.
For all but one.
Loki was cold around me. Not just because it took him a while to warm up, either, either—the god was a tough nut to crack. Thor (who had warmed up to me the fastest, finding my utter lack of a filter incredibly amusing) tried more than once to give me advice on how to bond with him, but it was pointless. I was resigned to having one member of the team not like me—and honestly, if it was just that one, who cares?
By the time “provisional” was removed from my title, five months had gone by. The team had planned a little surprise party to congratulate me, complete with plentiful alcohol and a few friends of the team. “Let’s hope the world doesn’t need saving tonight!” Thor roared as he downed his sixth mug of Guinness. I really shouldn’t have taught him what an Irish Car Bomb was—that one’s on me.
A few hours later, when everyone was acceptably plastered, I noticed the lack of gods in the room and got curious. While Loki might be cold to me, Thor had become something of a big brother, and I noticed his absence quickly.
“You’re insane, brother,” a familiar voice hissed as I were about to turn the corner of the hallway. I paused, curious as to Loki and Thor’s conversation and suitably drunk enough to not care about eavesdropping.
“You are the one who is insane,” Thor rumbled. “Why do you resist?”
“Because it is not rational. And because we are teammates. What would you propose I do in this situation, then? Risk this entire team to indulge an infatuation? I thought you wanted me more committed than that.” His tone had turned snarky at the end and I raised my eyebrow. I knew enough about Loki, about his past, to understand why the older Asgardian would make such a request of him, but it made a little flare of anger go through me. In the time I’d known him, Loki hadn’t been anything but an asset for the good guys.
“This is more than an infatuation and you know it,” Thor said lowly. I strained my ears to hear his now quieter voice. “You are falling in love with her.”
“I barely speak to her,” Loki retorted.
“You watch her constantly.”
“We live together. It’s inevitable.”
“When she speaks to me or the others and you’re in the room, you turn your head to listen. I am not the only one to notice this, brother.”
Loki inhaled sharply. “Áine knows?”
Holy fuck.
Holy fuck.
I stumbled back into the main room looking like a deer caught in the headlights and collapsed into the couch, staring at my lap. The God of Mischief didn’t hate me after all. In fact, he liked me. He liked me enough that it worried him and made him pull away. Fuck.
And I couldn’t even say anything without ratting myself out for spying! But now that I’d heard him say those words, the thoughts I’d suppressed for the last five months began to creep up again until the damn broke, flooding my mind with everything at once. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Because Loki was gorgeous. He had a tendency to dress like an Asgardian rather than a Midgardian, as Thor had taken to, which should have looked ridiculous, and it did… but it was also infuriatingly hot. And Loki was… He was cold to me, yes, and perhaps now I knew why, but I’d observed him with others, particularly his brother. I saw how he tried to fit in with the rest of them, even if he acted like he wasn’t. I saw how wary the others were, how the pain flashed on his face when he thought no one was looking.
My thoughts started to jumble then until the cushion next to me depressed with the weight of someone else. I looked over to see Cap looking at me curiously.
“Are you alright?” he asked quietly. I’d seen the fearless leader indulge in a drink tonight. It was unusual for him, but he wanted to be involved in the toast Tony gave, so a glass of champagne it was—thought obviously not enough to put a dent in his superhuman sobriety.
I nodded weakly. “Totally. Just got stuck for a minute.”
Cap blinked. “Got stuck?”
“Up in my head,” I said, swirling My fingers around my brain. I noticed Wanda turn from where she was talking to Vision and give me a raised eyebrow before returning her attention to her beau. Cap was nodded, still looking confused.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Anything you can do for what?” a silky voice spun from behind me. My eyes closed and I took a deep breath before turning to face him.
If he could stop wearing those damned leather pants, it would really help my focus, because they looked amazing on him and I really shouldn’t be spending that much time looking at that pants of someone who had just put together the longest sentence he’d spoken to me in weeks. His gaze was calculating as he observed me before flicking his gaze to Steve.
“May I?” he asked smoothly, holding out his hand for me to take. I stared at it dumbly for a moment before placing my own in it and looking back at Cap. He was staring inquisitively at Loki; they seemed to have a silent conversation before Cap nodded and stood and Loki pulled me up. Before I knew what was happening I was being dragged back into the hallway where I’d overheard the conversation between the Odinson brothers.
His hand was gone from mine and he was pacing in front of me, hands behind his back, spinning on his heel every so often to change directions. As he passed me once more I finally collected my thoughts and put my hand out to grab his arm. He froze, then looked up at me carefully. The dim lighting made shadows cast along his angular face and I saw the hesitation there, the confusion, the fear. He looked almost childlike in his innocence in that very moment, and I knew—he couldn’t be the man the team was wary of. He was still, on some level, a scared little boy who didn’t know how to process his emotion and communicate it.
So I did it for him.
By reaching up and pressing my lips to his.
It took the team a hot minute to adjust to the fact that me and Loki, who had just a few days ago barely spoken, were now all over each other. He would appear when I was walking down halls and press me to the wall briefly, cupping my ass and pressing my lips to his desperately before having to return to his work. I slipped into his room more nights than not. We’d been walked in on more than once, including once by Steve one very, very early morning in the kitchen, at which point there was a team meeting about boundaries that Natasha had stifled her laughs through while Loki and I were purposefully seated on opposite sides of the room.
Another change was occurring, too—the team was acting differently. The edge of worry when they were around Loki was very slowly but most definitely starting to wane. Thor insisted it was because of me. I was unconvinced. Loki was a beautiful soul and a legitimately wonderful man despite his trickster ways; if I had any part of it, it was only bringing those parts out where they could now be seen.
“Family Nights,” as I had dubbed them much to Tony’s chagrin, became a Wednesday night tradition. The team found it awkward at first, but I’d only rolled me eyes before plastering on my best pout and asking them to pretty please give them a chance. Maybe it was that look, or maybe it was the way Loki was looking at them as he watched the interactions, but they all gave in and began to enjoy the moments, even if Tony would pretend to complain through the whole thing. Bruce was uncomfortable at first as well, although I suspected that may have something to do with the wistful looks he would occasionally send Natasha, who always seemed to find her way to sitting next to him. She’d even fallen asleep on his chest one movie night—something that made him send such a lovestruck grin down at her that it made my heart melt.
I’d been an agent for a good while and had adjusted to losing people, never getting too attached. For some reason when I moved into the compound, things changed. This was my family now, and whenever one would come back injured from an assignment, I would be the first to lead them to the infirmary and begin bandaging their wounds. The first time I came back with more than a few bumps and bruises, Loki had damn near lost it, yelling outside the infirmary door while Nat and Bruce patched me up and obsessively taking care of me for the week of recovery I needed. It would have been annoying if it weren’t so endearing.
So far I’d been able to avoid Loki seeing one of my nightmares. On nights I felt it may be particularly bad, I was sure to sleep in my own room, sometimes downing a double-dose of Nyquil to make sure I wasn’t heard if my brain started screaming. I didn’t have nightmares every night—some nights I had the most beautiful dreams of Loki, of my found family, of the gardens of Asgard that Thor and Loki spoke so fondly of. But when those were interrupted by visions of hand and grabbing and pain and the tearing of cloth, they were more horrifying than anything I’d come face to face with in the field. It was a ridiculous thought in those terms… I had no right to be worried about something buried so far in the past.
Until it wasn’t.
As soon as the file was set in front of me, I stiffened. A photo of the target was paper clipped to the front. It was slightly blurry, but I could tell. I would never be able to forget. That face was burned into my mind for all eternity, and I would never be the same for it.
No one noticed my struggle at first until Natasha turned to ask me a question. I must have looked like utter hell, because she stopped mid-sentence to take me in. “Áine?” she asked carefully, but my body was already starting to shake. I shot up, staring down at the table surface, needing to get out of the suddenly unbearably hot room before I shut down. I could feel the eyes of the three other Avengers in the room on me—Nat, Cap, and Bruce—but couldn’t look at any of them.
“I have to remove myself from this assignment,” I choked out lowly, turning and running out of the room and through the mazelike halls back to my bedroom as fast as my feet would carry me. As soon as the door clicked shut behind me, I slid down against it, burying my face into my knees and choking out a panicked sob. I started to feel disconnected from my body. I crawled toward the bed—maybe the familiar softness of my sheets and blankets would quell the hole starting to open in my heart, but I couldn’t even bring myself to pull my body onto the bed. I shoved my face into the edge of the comforter, trying desperately to muffle the sound as the sobs came. No one could see me like this. Please, gods, don’t let anyone see me like this.
There were knocks and words, curiously worried at first before turning into an edge of panic. I could tell people were outside my door, but wasn’t really able to separate each distinct voice… I could barely remember where I was. That photo was switching between actual memories, making them shoot through my psyche like knives. I’d buried this deep. I erased it from my mind as best I could. For six years, I was fine.
Now I was not.
The knocks got louder, and then there was a yell and a crash that made me jump a foot in the air, whimpering into the blanket my face was buried in. Oh gods. He was here. He was back for me.
But the arms around me were familiar, tugging at the little part of my mind that was still grounded in reality, beckoning the rest of me to rejoin it. The voice was smooth whispering in me ear, the tone silky and familiar. With a sob I recognized the voice and cold arms and spun to bury myself as deeply into his body as I could. Loki was a god. Loki was safe. Loki was the love of my life. And Loki would never let that happen to me. He would never let Him come back and snatch me, the way he had warned all those years before.
“Come back to me, my love,” I heard him whisper in your ear. His hand rubbed gently up and down my spine and his cool lips pressed to my hair. “Focus on me.”
Reality crashed back all at once and I gasped, pulling away from Loki’s chest and trying desperately to quell the tears. Fuck. Fuck. I had to make up some excuse, and fast.
“I’m okay,” I whispered, but the crack in my voice betrayed my words. His green eyes bored into mine as he took my face gently in his hands to look at me. I probably looked a mess—my skin was too pale to cry. I always turned into a red, blotchy mess. His thumbs rubbed gently at the tear tracks on my face, brushing away the remaining wetness.
“You are most certainly not okay,” he murmured, crushing me against his chest once more. I froze, instinctually wanting back away, before remembering who he was and relaxing into his grip. What was hell wrong with me? Why couldn’t I keep thoughts straight in my head?
Finally gathering some of my frazzled nerves, I peeked my head out, glancing around the room nervously for the rest of the group. I didn’t want them to see me like this—I didn’t want Loki to see me like this, either, but that was out of my control now. I needed him. I needed him to help me focus on what was real.
“I sent them away,” Loki explained softly when he noticed my nervous glances. “We are alone, my love.” I relaxed more at his words, burrowing myself into him and letting his arms around me guide me back to safety. “May I lift you onto the bed?”
I only nodded against him and he picked me up swiftly, not breaking contact as he pulled the both of us onto the bed together, keeping me firmly lodged in his lap and wrapped in his arms.
“Áine,” Loki said cautiously after a moment, “who is Santos Barone?”
Santos Barone. For the first time in six years I had a name to put with the face. My eyes slid shut briefly as I comprehended this information. “He was a guard when I was briefly captured in Ukraine six years ago,” I said lowly. I could do this. I could make this story work without having to bring up the reality.
Loki’s thumb brushed against my cheek again. He was still, and I knew he was suspicious. Yes, prison guards in the shady underground world where I roamed were known to torture, but I’d been an agent for three years by then. I should have been extensively trained to tolerate torture. I was extensively trained to tolerate torture.
It bubbled from my throat before I could stop it, the desperation to finally tell someone about what haunted my dreams pushing it to the surface. “He raped me.”
There was a beat of silence so profound it briefly seemed like the world might have ended before I was alone on the bed, spinning my head towards the door just in time to see Loki crash through it, his clothing magically changing to his green and gold armor as he did. I stared after him for a moment until I heard him yelling for his brother and scrambled off the bed, dashing out of the room.
“Loki!” I yelled after him, but his strides were much longer than mine and he was bursting into the briefing room by the time I caught up to him, grabbing the file from a bewildered Bruce Banner.
“Where?” he hissed, leaning into Bruce’s face and jabbing his finger at the photo on the front of the folder. The doctor blinked for a moment before answering.
“We’re not sure. Either in hiding somewhere in Italy or heading into a prison network in Ukraine.”
A prison network in Ukraine.
My stomach turned and I whimpered, wrapping my arms around my body to try to keep the pain from splitting me apart. Visions of cracked concrete walls and a stained mattress projected onto my closed eyelids.
He was there. He was gripping me by the arm, shoving me down, he was tearing at the sack-like jumpsuit they made me wear, his hands were on me, his lips were on me, he was hissing insults in my ear, calling me a whore, calling me ruined, slapping me so hard across the face I tasted coppery blood. Those stone grey eyes bored into me and he grinned sadistically, enjoying the pain he was causing and the trauma that would be left on my mind for the rest of my life, no matter how hard I tried to scrub it clean.
But it wasn’t that overheated, sweaty body over mine. It wasn’t grey eyes staring at me. It was a refreshingly cool set of armor being pressed against me, following as I sank to my knees, letting me sob into his shoulder. “Loki,” I whimpered, not sure what I needed or what he could even do.
I could hear Nat, Bruce, and Cap whispering among themselves, but couldn’t bring myself to care. My god placed his hand on the back of my head to hold you tightly against him as I cried, cradling my face to his shoulder. “I have you, my love,” he whispered, kissing my hair again gently. His voice was starting to sound thick as well. “I have you, and I will never let anything like that happen to you again. And I will kill him.” He squeezed me tighter while I cried there on the floor of the compound briefing room. “You are safe with me forever.”
Chapter Text
Loki had to carry me back to my bedroom. I kept my face firmly in the crook of his neck, reluctant to meet the eyes of any of my teammates. Utter mortification was seeping in as I calmed down. Not only had Loki seen me like that, but so had Steve, Nat, and Bruce—and the rest of the team would surely be clued in. They were all going to know soon enough. Six years of secret keeping and smiling masks, washed down the drain in less than an hour.
The god set me very carefully on my bed where I immediately turned my face into a pillow. He couldn’t see me like this. He would never look at me the same, never want me the same if he saw this. Still, when his hand gently moved away from mine, my face spun to him, panic brewing in my eyes.
“Don’t go,” I whimpered before I could stop myself. “Please.”
“Never,” he whispered, a pained look crossing his face as he sat carefully on the edge of my bed, his body twisted to face me. “I simply want not to… to do anything that would cause you discomfort.” There was a soft gust of air, and in a shimmer of green light his armor was gone, replaced by the most casual outfit I had ever seen him in—a simple green tee-shirt and black sweatpants. As I pulled the blankets down to curl up under them, I tugged the edge next to him down too, asking with my actions for him to join me. He did in a heartbeat and immediately took me into his arms, letting me bury myself in his chest once more.
There was a long silence. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I murmured nervously into his skin, not wanting to look up at him. Still terrified to see his reaction. “Do you hate me?”
His hand was in my hair immediately, stroking it more softly than I imagined was possible. “In all of eternity, I could never hate you,” he said seriously. “And there is nothing about this situation that could possibly cause me to. My hatred is directed at the vile rat who hurt you.”
I flinched at his scathing tone. He tugged mw tighter immediately, murmuring apologies and kissing my forehead. “Tell me what to do, darling,” he pleaded. “Tell me how I can help you.”
“I just need you to hold me.” It came out weaker than I wanted, a faint sob breaking through as my mind went into a fresh assault of memories. He tugged me impossibly closer, as if he wanted to meld our bodies together.
The dam broke. Within seconds I was a weeping mess, surely ruining his shirt with tears and snot, but so caught in the cruelty of my own mind that I barely noticed. The damned stained mattress was there again, the chains that hung over it rattling as they secured around my wrists, effectively eliminating any means of escape. I was there, I could feel it… but I could also feel something much softer under me, someone much gentler cooing in my ear.
“Focus on me, love.”
Loki.
Loki.
Loki.
I repeated it as a chant through my mind, trying to force myself to overcome those panicked memories with the feel of his chest under me and the sound of his soft voice in my ear. Another sob tugged from my throat as I struggled.
“Áine. I need you to take a deep breath for me, darling, please.”
I tried, I really did, but my lungs didn’t seem to be responding to my gasps, not able to fill all the way even if I was taking in air. A sharp edge of panic was forming in my head—but why? Why did I need to breathe? Surely getting away from this pain would be better, regardless of the consequences.
A slight sigh was breathed near my ear, and then the hand in my hair was moving to my forehead, two fingers pressing there gently. A flash of warmth and comfort went through my body, and at last, darkness silenced my thoughts.
Loki was reluctant to leave her alone on the bed, but he knew that his spell would keep her sleeping peacefully for another hour or so. He also knew that he needed to process—something that he was historically not very good at and was therefore unwilling to get too deep into with one he loved so dearly next to him.
He didn’t get very far, sinking down against her door as soon as it closed behind him. His long legs stretched out in front of him as he leaned his head back onto the wood. What in Hel? How did he not know? How did nobody know?! How was that file ever placed in front of her, that picture forced into her sight? How did it get to this?
His usually clear mind was swimming. His eyes were closed, but he didn’t need them to know who it was that carefully sat next to him in the hallway.
It was a long moment before the other man spoke. “Brother?” he asked cautiously. “What is it?”
Loki’s only response was to pull his knees up close to his body and lean his head against them. Thor patted an uncertain hand to his brother’s shoulder as Natasha appeared in the hallway.
“Please tell me I’m wrong,” she said lowly. Loki looked up at the Widow with deadened eyes. That was enough answer for her, and she joined them on the floor, legs crossed, looking at them sadly.
“Did you know?” Loki asked quietly. He couldn’t imagine she would, couldn’t imagine that file would ever be given to her if she did. But he had to know. He had to know if she’d been suffering in silence all these years.
“It would have been in her file if anyone knew,” Natasha confirmed. Loki exhaled harshly.
“What, uh… What are we all doing on the floor?” Tony asked, joining them next to Nat without hesitation while unwrapping a granola bar.
“He raped her,” Loki said emotionlessly. He didn’t necessarily want to tell them without her permission, but he couldn’t think correctly, and he needed their help in any way he could get it.
Thor tensed next to him while Tony choked on his granola bar. “Excuse me, what? Who?”
Natasha tossed the file she’d brought onto the floor in front of him. “Him.”
“And we’re talking about…” Tony gestured to Áine’s door, his eyebrows knit.
Loki’s eyes snapped back to the group, unadulterated rage flickering on his face. “Where can I find the roach?” he spat, glancing at the file again.
“Like I said, we’re not sure,” Bruce said, entering the hallway with Steve. “But we—”
“Not sure is not enough!” Loki roared, suddenly shooting up. Thor stood with him immediately, his eyes going wide as he noticed a flash of blue through Loki’s hands. The other god noticed too and staggered forward a bit, staring at his hands in shock.
“Brother,” Thor said cautiously, raising a hand slowly to take his shoulder, “I think we should take this conversation outside.” He eyed the ceilings carefully, trying to gauge their height.
“What the fuck was that?” Tony asked, also staring at Loki’s hands, but Thor was already dragging him through the hall and down the stairs, getting both of them outside into the courtyard as soon as he could. The rest of the team followed. Wanda and Vision, who had been taking a walk in the fresh air, approached them curiously.
“Is this like a…” Bruce gestured to himself and then mimed blowing up, “thing?”
“This is not my brother’s true form,” Thor said lowly, still keeping a firm hand on Loki’s shoulder.
Loki was still staring at his hands in shock. “This has never happened before,” he mumbled. They were back to normal now, looking just as they should, but the icy chill remained.
“I’m gonna need more of an explanation than that,” Tony insisted.
Suddenly Loki looked up, his eyes wide. “No one is with her,” he said, tone laced with fear. “I have to… someone must…”
“I’ll go now,” Natasha said softly, turning on her heel and heading back to stand guard outside Áine’s door. He knew she would be under a while longer until the spell wore off, but he couldn’t bear the thought of her being alone.
“Hellooooo,” Tony said, waving his hand to get the attention of the brothers. “What do you mean by ‘this isn’t his true form’? Because that’s sounding pretty ominous.”
“My brother was not born Asgardian,” Thor said slowly, finally removing his hand from Loki’s shoulder. “He was adopted by my father.”
Loki scoffed dryly. “What an interesting way to say that I am a monster.”
“You are no monster, Loki,” Thor said quietly, still remaining close and cautious.
“That is rich coming from you, brother,” Loki hissed, narrowing his eyes. “After a thousand years of war, I know what I am.”
Steve, who had been watching the exchange interestedly from the side of the group, stepped forward. “Does it matter what you are? We need to figure out how to deal with this and how to help.”
“I mean, I would like to know what he is,” Tony said suspiciously, crossing his arms over his chest.
The god narrowed his eyes. “I am Loki Laufeyson, prince and rightful heir to the throne of Jotunheim.”
“Okay, sure,” Tony said with a sarcastic nod. “For those of us in the group who aren’t gods, how about you explain that one?”
Vision stepped forward then. “Perhaps we should all take a moment to calm down. What is happening?” Bruce sighed heavily and led the witch and her love a few feet away to speak to them quietly.
“How tall are your ceilings?” Thor asked Tony curiously.
“Not loving that question,” Tony muttered with his eyes narrowed. “Ten feet. Why?”
Thor looked at Loki, sizing him up. “That may be enough.”
“Loving that even less.”
“I am a monster,” Loki snarled, crossing his arms over his chest and attempting to stalk back into the compound, only to have Steve and Bruce block his way. “Move.”
Without warning, Wanda moved to Loki and placed her hand on his face, a red glow on her hand. She looked at him and nodded.
“Let him go. He won’t hurt her.”
The witch rarely spoke, particularly to him, but he shot her a grateful look as Steve and Bruce parted, more out of surprise than anything. Loki stalked forward once more, hesitating with his hand on the door before turning his head slightly.
“Tell them if you must, brother,” he sighed, defeated, before entering the compound and heading to her room once more.
The nothingness of unconsciousness was bliss compared to the recesses of my mind that had suddenly been pushed to the forefront. I woke slowly, my mind blank, re-emerging into the world with a small smile playing on my lips. I could feel the body in the bed next to me and knew who it was without even looking. His scent, his feel, his aura, whatever it was—I always knew it was him.
I rolled over without opening my eyes and snuggled into Loki with my hand resting on his chest. “Heya,” I yawned.
“Hello, my love,” Loki said softly. He leaned over to kiss my forehead and I smiled happily.
Wait.
Wait.
I shot up as the memory of what had happened before my sleep came back to me and wrenched open my eyes. Loki was watching me warily, sitting up slowly himself. “Shit,” I hissed, putting my head in my hands. Son of a bitch. I ruined everything.
“What is it?” Loki asked quickly.
I sighed and looked up at him. “God, I’m pathetic. How did I get to sleep?” I winced at the memory of the burn in my lungs from lack of air. “I didn’t faint, did I?”
“You could not breathe,” he replied, still watching warily. “So I…” A little glow of green appeared on his fingers and he looked at me sheepishly. “I apologize.”
I shook my head and closed my eyes. “No, don’t be. That was probably the best move. I swear it won’t happen again,” I insisted apologetically as I scrambled off the bed. I watched him for a sign that he was going to leave. He was a god, strong and perfect, and I was… flipping out about a single negative experience.
But he was only looking at me with confusion and concern. “You cannot make promises when it comes to emotion, love,” he said as he stood. The sweatpants and tee-shirt were replaced by one of his black suits in a flicker of green light.
I brushed him off and began moving to the door. God, I felt like an idiot. I should never have requested to remove myself from that mission. A little thing like this shouldn’t be keeping me from doing my job. “Do you know where Nat is?” I asked as you strode into the hallway, Loki on my tail.
“I believe everyone is downstairs in the living room.” I froze and turned toward him.
“They all know, don’t they?”
I knew the answer before he said anything and turned away again. I couldn’t meet his eyes. Not when he was looking at me with this much sadness, this much… pity. “I’m sorry, darling, I—”
But I was already running down the stairs, stopping short when I got to the doorway and found everyone looking at me with a mix of shock and that damn pity again. I ignored all of them but Natasha, marching up to her on the couch next to Bruce with my arms crossed over my chest.
“Put me back on the mission.”
Nat blinked at me and arched her eyebrows. “That isn’t a good idea.”
“Put me back on,” I hissed again, narrowing my eyes at her.
“It’s not her call,” Steve interrupted, standing from his usual armchair and holding out his hands as if trying to calm an angry lion. “It’s mine.”
“Then you put me back on. I don’t give a shit who does it, put me back.”
Cap took a deep breath but stood firm. “No.”
I let out a frustrated yell and stomped my foot, well aware that I was acting like a toddler having a tantrum, but not caring at all. Everything changed. Just like I’d been afraid of, now it was out, and now everything changed. I would be stripped of my title. I couldn’t be an Avenger if you couldn’t go on assignment, and if I couldn’t be an Avenger I couldn’t live at the compound with Loki, with my family. Six fucking years wasted.
My legs carried me out of the compound and into the courtyard before I realized it. I was stomping straight toward the edge of the woods that stretched beyond the manicured yard. The trees were calming. It was easy to sit among them with my thoughts, and just as easy to sit there and make my mind go blank. There was a spot about a half mile in that I frequented when I needed to think—a boulder near a creek that was perfect for contemplation.
Someone had followed me out, but I didn’t look back. It wasn’t Loki, that much I could tell, and I figured whoever it was had been sent to babysit me. Whatever. If they were kicking me out, I wouldn’t be their problem much longer.
It only took about five minutes to get to the boulder, and I huffed and sat down cross-legged, waiting for my shadow to make themselves known. They sat down next to me a few seconds later and I looked at them, surprised to see the soft face of Wanda Maximoff watching me.
For a long time the two of us sat in silence, watching the flow of the creek and listening to the insects buzzing around us. As much as I wanted to clear my mind, thoughts kept flickering in—I’d just lost my boyfriend, my family, and my home.
“When do I have to be out by?” I finally asked without looking up.
“What are you talking about?”
I looked up at Wanda with a sad smile. “If I can’t go on assignment, I’m useless as an Avenger. I have no right to be here.”
“It’s one assignment,” she said with her eyebrows knit. “There’s going to be dozens of others. Letting someone else handle this one is not a reason to kick you off the team.”
“Did you confirm that with Rogers? Stark? Banner?” I laughed dryly and looked back at the water. “Who the fuck is going to want me now?”
The words came out as a whisper and I closed my eyes again against the wave of emotion that hit me. Wanda reached out and patted my knee comfortingly. “We all do,” she said softly. “No one wants you to leave, Áine. We want to help you.”
“What’s there to even help?” I growled, looking off into the forest. The sun was starting to go down, the trees casting long shadows over each other.
There was another moment of silence until Wanda spoke again. “I’ve never been in my shoes. I don’t know what you’re going through, not truly.” She paused again and I looked up at her curiously, wondering where she was going with this. “But I know what it’s like to have decisions made for you. I know what it’s like for someone else to use you. Our experiences aren’t the same, but maybe we can help each other go through the healing process together.”
I started to tear up again. Me and Wanda were friendly—the two of us and Nat spent a fair amount of time together and even went into the city together for meals or shopping with relative frequency. But I’d never conversed like this, never gotten this raw with her. I didn’t know she cared this much. With a choked sob I reached out and pulled her into a hug that she returned fiercely.
“They really don’t hate me?” I whispered against her shoulder.
“I’m positive,” she assured me, pulling back and holding me by the shoulders so I would look at her. There was nothing but concern and honesty there, and for the first time I felt hopeful. Maybe I wasn’t losing everything.
Wanda looked out at the rapidly darkening woods. “We should go back,” she said, standing up. “The others will be worrying about us.”
I nodded and followed her move, the two of us beginning to walk back. The ground was shadowy, but the witch beside me waved her hand, conjuring a ball of red light that guided the way. I watched with a grin. Every time Wanda used her skills, I was fascinated.
The walk was leisurely, but sure enough, as soon as we broke through the tree line I saw Loki and Vision across the yard, waiting anxiously on the patio. As soon as he saw me Loki walked briskly forward, meeting me halfway. Vision didn’t even bother with walking—he floated to Wanda and took her arm in his.
Loki wrapped me in a tight hug when he reached me. “I was worried,” he breathed into my hair, kissing the top of my head. I relaxed into his embrace.
“I’m not being kicked out?” I asked in a much smaller voice than I meant, looking up at him.
He started leading me back towards the compound with Vision and Wanda trailing behind, speaking softly to each other. “Of course not,” he told me with his arm intertwined with mine. “I told you that you would be safe with me, and I meant it.”
“And I’m not being taken off assignments?”
“I am unsure where you are getting these ideas, but no. You are not being taken off assignments. This one thing can be handled without you, darling, and my skills we be just as useful and needed on other missions.”
Gods. This man always knew what to say. “I’m so sorry about today,” I said as the two of us paused on the porch. Wanda and Vision entered the compound, allowing us some privacy.
Loki looked down at me and smiled, brushing his hand against my face. “You have no reason to be. I am glad I know now, pet.” He pulled me into a hug again. I was always surprised with how physical Loki was, especially considering how standoffish he’d been before we got together and still tended to be around others. But it was so nice. It was so calming and safe in his arms. I let my eyes closed and laid my cheek against his chest as he kissed my hair.
When I shivered, he pulled me back into the compound and into the kitchen. I slid onto a stool at the island and eyed him. “What are you doing?”
Loki glanced back at me with a raised eyebrow while rooting around in the fridge. “Cooking you dinner.”
I scoffed as he emerged with a package of chicken. “No, really, what are you doing?”
“Cooking you dinner,” he said again slowly, looking at me like I was crazy. I blinked, a wide grin appearing on my face.
“Well, aren’t I honored,” I joked, fanning my face with my hand. “Prince Loki of Asgard, cooking for a common Midgardian. Do you even know how to cook?”
Loki rolled his eyes while opening a cabinet to eye the spices. “Darling, I am not incompetent.”
“That would be because our mother made him work in the kitchens every time he stabbed me,” Thor said, sliding into the seat next to me. I looked up at him with some shock.
“Excuse me?”
Loki shot him a glare before grabbed a few bottles and a canister of breadcrumbs and closing the cabinet. “It was not as frequent as my brother makes it out to be.”
Thor grinned widely. “Loki has always been…” Thor cocked his head and looked at me. “A bit stabby. ‘If you must use a knife, at least put it to good use’,” he said in a high-pitched impersonation of Frigga.
Loki pointed at him. “Keep it up, brother, and I’ll not make any for you.” Thor mimed zipping his lips, trying to hold back his smile. “Midgardian ingredients are a bit different, but I believe I can make it work.”
“Do you need any help?” I asked curiously, watching him grab a small mixing bowl and begin pouring in flour and some spices after suspiciously sniffing each one.
He hummed. “If you would like to make a vegetable dish, pet, that would be lovely.” I bounced up and went to the huge fridge, pulling it open to see what there was to make.
“Who’s cooking? Are we sharing with the class?” came Natasha’s voice. I pulled my head out of the fridge triumphantly with a few heads of broccoli and smiled at her, then looked over at Loki, who sighed.
“Take out the other package of chicken for me, darling.”
Nat—a legendarily horrid cook—clapped her hands together happily. “Excellent. What are we having?” she asked as Cap and Bruce ambled in as well.
“And the third package,” Loki said. “This is the last chance for anyone who would like to eat with us to say so.”
“Babe, just make enough for everyone,” I said, pecking his cheek. His lips pursed as he tried to hide his smile while tossing the spices with some flour. “I don’t know if you realize this, but you people eat a lot.”
Dinner ended up being a family affair, with Tony wandering down once he smelled the chicken cooking and Wanda dragging Vision in shortly after. We all sat around the long, rarely-used dining table—even Vision, who had no need to eat but tried some anyway. Loki was right—he could cook, and the chicken was surprisingly delicious, if a little unusually seasoned.
More importantly, no one looked at me with pity. There were laughs and clinking glasses, lighthearted teasing and wine, but no mention of what happened earlier, no glances in my direction beyond friendly faces and smiles. It was… not really normal, since the whole team had never sat down to a spontaneous meal together, but still incredibly nice. Homey. For the first time in my life, I felt well and truly at home.
Chapter Text
It wasn’t quite a week later when Wanda came to find me. I’d just been sparring with Nat; her fight style was much harder to predict than I was used to as she seemed to only make up her mind on her next move in the moment. It was as much a game as it was training as the two of us fought for bragging rights.
She was wringing her hands a little as she approached me while I walked down the hall to toss my towel in the laundry room. “Hiya!” I said with a smile.
Her smile back was weak. “Do you want to go to the boulder?”
So we did. The two of us went and sat in silence, letting the sound of the stream fill our thoughts. She spoke when she was ready, explaining that she’d been having a bad day, that she kept seeing flashes of her past. Our hands met between each other and I gripped hers tight, listening and squeezing affirmations.
It was wonderful.
I didn’t want her to be upset, of course, and it was painful to know that she was in pain. But to have someone come to me in that moment of pain, to know that the two of us would actually be going through this together, was almost enough to make me cry—and it did later when you I Loki about it. I didn’t speak of her past or what she’d confided in me, merely that she’d come to me and the two of us sat together. I cried in his arms, blubbering about my emotions and how I hadn’t fully believed her about healing together until that moment. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her, I was simply wary, unwilling to risk disappointment.
A couple days later I went to find Wanda myself, locating her in the hammock in the courtyard, reading with Vision. She looked at me as I approached and arched her eyebrow, immediately handing the book to her boyfriend and standing to meet me. The two of us walked into the forest in silence and settled on the boulder in our usual spots.
“Loki won’t touch me,” I growled after a moment. The harshness of my voice contrasted with the peace of the wood, making it stand out against the other sounds.
Wanda looked at me and blinked. “I just saw the two of you kissing earlier. You aren’t exactly afraid of PDA.” I snorted—she was right, Loki was a fan of proving to everyone that I was his, and I couldn’t help but egg him on when I wanted it.
“Yeah, we kiss,” I said, some of my anger starting to wane. “But that’s all we do.”
“Ah.” Wanda nodded and looked back to the stream. “Have you talked to him about it?”
I knew she was going to ask that and sighed, throwing myself back onto the boulder and looking up at the sunlight peeking through the canopy of leaves. “No,” I mumbled grumpily. “I’m not really… I’ve never done this relationship thing before. I’ve been in training since I was fifteen. If I wanted sex, I found it, and then I would be gone. There were no emotions involved. And, um…” I took a deep breath. “Before this we were all over each other, and all that’s changed is that now he… he knows what happened in Ukraine. And the only reason I can come up with for him not wanting me anymore is that I’m not good enough now.”
Wanda’s arms were around mw before I finished speaking. I laid my forehead on her shoulder and took a deep breath. “You know that isn’t true,” she whispered almost harshly. “Áine, he doesn’t want to hurt you. He was terrified that day when you couldn’t breathe and he had to put you under. We all were.”
“But I’m not fragile! I want him. I want him so bad. I miss being with him so bad,” I whined.
“Then I think you already know what you have to do.”
I pouted at her. “What happened to the support? You wound me,” I joked weakly, putting a hand over my heart. Wanda rolled her eyes and bumped my shoulder with hers.
“Can I ask you something?” She asked nervously a few moments later. I looked at her, but she was looking down at the stone, tracing patterns with her fingertips.
“Of course.”
“What’s it like?”
I blinked. “What’s what like?”
“You know.” She looked up at you pleadingly. “Sex.”
“Oh.” I looked away and furrowed my brow, trying to figure out what words to use. “Have you and Vision never…?” Although, now that I thought about it, how would that work with a synthezoid man? “How… I mean, like, I don’t wanna be insensitive, but in order to answer my question, I gotta know—”
“Vision is a fully synthesized man,” Wanda confirmed with a nervous laugh. “He just has… I mean, he has perfect control. He’s fully a man, but also fully… not, and I think it’ll be up to me to—” She was babbling, twisting her hands in her lap, and I reached out and patted her knee.
“Have you talked to him about it?” I asked teasingly, repeating her words to me and laughing as she rolled her eyes and bumped my shoulder again. “It’s… I mean, I think I have kind of a warped idea of it.” I stared into the shimmering creek and knit my eyebrows. “I’ve had experiences on all parts of the spectrum—even bad parts, and that’s sort of… sort of colored my perception of it since then.”
I paused again, looking over to see that she was watching me with her head cocked and her knees pulled up to her chest. “Okay, so I’m just gonna pretend… Like, everything I’m saying is excluding…” My nose wrinkled as I fought for words and she nodded encouragingly.
“I know what you mean. It’s okay.”
I nodded gratefully. “Yeah, so, it’s fun. I mean, when done right it’s fun. Sometimes a dude just thinks he’s the hottest shit and puts no effort in.” My eyes rolled as I remembered the agent from SHIELD that spent months wooing me only to roll off me when he got his—three minutes in. “I didn’t really know that it could be anything else until Loki though. He’s the first guy I’ve been with that I had real feelings for, which apparently makes it way more intense.” A smile broke over my face as I thought about the last time I’d been with Loki, the night before everything went to shit. He’d grabbed my neck as he was fucking me from behind, pulling me flush with his chest and biting down on my neck as he came. The way he marked me and claimed my body for himself made me shiver. “Way more intense,” I sighed again. Gods damn it, I missed him.
“Down, girl,” Wanda said with a laugh. “I was saying?”
“Right, well, when done properly, it can be completely mind-blowing. When done decently, it’s still pretty nice. I can’t imagine Vision will be anything less than amazing—I mean, he has the whole Kama Sutra in his brain.” I winked as she blushed bright red and buried her face into her knees. “I guess, honestly, if you’re not used to it, that level of intimacy can be overwhelming at times. But if it’s good, you just embrace it. It can just make you feel…” I cocked my head. “I don’t want to say complete, because I don’t think you need a man to be complete, but yeah. That’s what it’s like.”
She groaned and bumped her head against her knees, then looked over at me without lifting it. “I have no idea how to start it.”
“You’re probably going to have to be pretty up front,” I said apologetically with a pat to her shoulder. “For probably the smartest being on the planet, Vision can be… well, he can be a dumbass.”
The light teasing worked and Wanda devolved into giggles. “You’re right, he can be!” she gasped through her laughter as I joined her. When the laughter faded we was both laying back on the boulder, watching the leaves blow in the breeze. “Okay, we should make a promise.”
I looked over at her suspiciously. “What promise?”
“I’ll talk to Vision if you talk to Loki,” she proposed.
It was a fair compromise, and I agreed readily. “What are the parameters?”
“Hmmm.” Wanda bit her lip while squinting up at the sky. “What day is it? Thursday? Okay, we have until sunset on Sunday.”
“Sounds reasonable to me.” The two of us sat up and shook hands before snorting at the ridiculousness of it all.
As usual, Loki and Vision were waiting on the patio, though they’d stopped feeling the need to meet us halfway. It was always weird seeing Loki in an Adirondack chair. A wide smile broke out on my face when he patted his knee and I perched easily in his lap. The angle of the chair made my body fall against his with his arms going around my waist and his chin resting on my shoulder. My head fell back against his own shoulder and I looked up at the fluffy white clouds spotting the sky.
“How are you, my love?” Loki murmured softly. I heard the large glass doors leading to the living room slide open for Wanda and Vision as they disappeared inside, leaving me alone with Loki on the porch.
“I’m fine,” I said, turning my head to place a kiss on his jawline. His arms tightened slightly around me and I smiled. “How was training?’
His grimace against my neck made me giggle. He hated that he had to “train” with Thor, but both of us were insistent that he practice his skills just like the rest of us. I wasn’t going to let his massive ego get him hurt. “My oaf of a brother continues to infuriate me.”
I snorted. Thor had a tendency to nag everyone about training; turns out he was something of a gym rat. “He only does it because he loves you.”
“Darling, you must stop saying that aloud. He’s caught on and knows now he can use it against me.” I laughed again, remembering the day before when Loki had been snipping at Thor about bending one of his daggers with Mjölnir, which Thor had put an end to by picking Loki up in a bear hug and yelling “Aha! I love you, brother!”. Loki’d spent the rest of the evening slinking around behind me in a huff, keeping a sharp eye on Thor.
“Hey, um, can I talk to you about something?” I hadn’t intended to bring this up until I’d figured out a game plan, but it spilled out before I knew it.
Loki spun me to the side in his lap so he could take my cheek in one of his hands and stroke it gently with his thumb. “Anything, always,” he said firmly, his dark eyebrows knit in concern.
I let out a slow breath before continuing. “Why don’t you want me anymore?” I hadn’t meant for it to come out sounding so pathetic, the whimper just barely concealed behind my words, but the seed of anxiety in the pit of my stomach was growing.
But Loki only crushed me to his chest, holding my head to his shoulder and stroking my hair. “Oh, my sweet girl,” he murmured, kissing my ear. “If you believe that, then I have been truly remiss in my duty to assure you of my affection. Every moment of the day I want you. Each night when sleep takes me, I dream of holding you in my arms. In the silence I hear the melody of your screams as I pleasure you. I want you always, pet. Why do you believe otherwise? How can I prove my feelings for you?”
His words brought with them an overwhelming wave of emotion. I was glad he was holding me so tightly to his shoulder, because I didn’t think I could look into those green eyes without crying again. “You won’t touch me. You did all the time, and then you found out, and now you don’t and… Does it ruin me for you?” This was supposed to be a much, much lighter conversation, and here I was, on the verge of tears again. Gods. No wonder he wouldn’t touch me. I was a mess. What happened to that agent that the Black Widow considered strong enough to join the Avengers?
His emerald eyes were flashing in the sunlight as he took my shoulders in his hands, gripping me with those gorgeous long fingers—the ones I longed to feel inside me again, to bring me over the edge over and over. His lips laid on my forehead in a long kiss before pulling back to press his own forehead to mine. “Not a thing could make me stop wanting you, but this moreso than anything. My feelings could never for something so outside of your control. I am so sorry for causing you to feel unwanted. My only fear was hurting you—of pushing you to something you were unprepared for.”
“Until you, I’d never had sex and felt anything more than fear or indifference,” I whispered, aware of how pathetic I sounded but too caught up to bother strengthening my voice. “I guess I knew that it could be more, but I’d never felt it before. You changed everything for me.”
His only response was to crash his lips to mine. “Tell me truthfully,” he murmured when he pulled back, pausing to lay another quick kiss on my lips before continuing. “May I prove to you my feelings, pet? Do not attempt to lie to me. I know a lie the moment it falls from one’s lips. Are you comfortable with me making you mine?”
I nodded against him, but he took my chin in his hand and forced my gaze to his. His eyes were calm, but something was flashing behind the surface—something I wanted desperately to let out. “Use your words, love,” he muttered as he kissed my nose gently. Each place his touched landed was on fire. Despite Loki running a few degrees lower than me, he was igniting a warmth that flowed straight through my bloodstream and into my thighs.
“Yes,” I breathed, wide-eyed. “I need you.”
And then he was standing, cradling me in his arms like his bride, carrying me through the doors and speed-walking to the stairs. It felt like I was floating. His scent surrounded me, his strength keeping my mind grounded. Yes, I was an Avenger, but I was also his—and was no weaker for it.
His huge bed was waiting for us as he moved into his room and flicked the fingers of the hand under my legs, making the door slam shut. I couldn’t look away from his face, the angles that softened as he looked at me and the green eyes that danced with anticipation. He laid me down carefully on some kind of silky blankets and sheets that he’d told me came from Asgardian weavers. I reached for the buttons of his fitted dress shirt, but he swatted my hands away.
“I told you,” he purred mischievously. “I will be making you mine.”
With a simple snap of his fingers and a spark of green light my clothes were gone, leaving me only in my simple white cotton bra and panties. A wicked grin fell over his face as he took me in. “So innocent,” he murmured, fingering the material at my hip. “I should pepper your skin with my marks so that when you see yourself in the mirror, you are reminded of exactly how much I want you.”
True to his word, Loki’s mouth fell to my neck immediately, attaching to a place right at the edge of my collarbone. I was still reeling at the sudden change in him, from scarcely touching me to suddenly seeming unable to control himself. My hands flew to his hair and tangled in the raven locks to hold him to me.
He was far stronger than me when he wanted to be thanks to his seiðr and divine blood and raised his head easily. Complete delight danced in his eyes as he smirked widely at me. “So desperate for me, are you? What is that Midgardian saying again? Ah, yes, ‘patience is a virtue’, pet.”
I pouted, but it made no difference; Loki once again attacked my neck with his mouth, running his fingers lightly up and down my sides as he focused on each place he chose to leave his mark. Another soft moan escaped me as he nipped and sucked, soothing each twinge of pain with his gentle tongue. When he rocked his pelvis into mine I felt the bulge there and squealed from anticipation. “You’re a tease,” I groaned, tugging on his hair.
Loki’s laughter tickled against my skin. “And you will learn to appreciate it.” His fingers trailed finally towards my already dripping cunt, remaining on top of the fabric of my panties as he lightly rubbed the length of my slit. “Oh, darling,” he gasped in mock horror. “What in the Nine Realms has you so wet already? You’re seeping through your undergarments and yet I’ve hardly touched you.”
“You,” I whispered, collecting my wits for long enough to respond. “It’s you. It’s always been and always will be you.” I didn’t get how my proclamation could possibly be true—I’d only met this man a little over half a year ago, and yet it felt like I’d been waiting for his touch my whole life. It was the healing caress I needed to cast aside the thoughts that came when I remembered that file being placed in front me, that photograph exposing ill-concealed memories.
The sparkle of pride in Loki’s eyes when he looked up make a satisfied shiver run up my spine. “So good for me,” he murmured, finally slipping one long finger under the cotton fabric and along my already soaking folds. A weak cry fell from my lips at the sensation. “You are mine, my love, just as I am yours. I want you always, and I will spend the rest of time making sure you believe that.”
It was sweet torture. He stroked me with his fingers just enough to keep me whimpering and begging as he marked my body with his mouth. “There,” he finally said, pulling back to admire the art of his bruises on my skin. “See for yourself.”
When I looked up again my eyes widened. A mirror had appeared above the bed, hovering several feet above me, giving me no room to imagine what he’d done. A half dozen red patches, the first of which was just beginning to purple around the edges, flared brightly over my pale skin—evidence of his desire. My eyes were rimmed red from crying, my mascara running down my cheeks. The curls of my hair were splayed around me wildly. He hadn’t ceased the movement of his finger and I was grinding into him, desperate for stimulation.
“Look how sweet you are when you weep for me. So desperate, my darling pet. Tell me, what do you need from me?” He was smirking at me through the reflection, keeping my gaze locked in his. I could see him add a finger into my panties as he waited. He knew exactly what I wanted—he just wanted me to beg for it.
“I need you to fuck me,” I breathed.
Loki cocked his head to the side and raised his dark eyebrows at me. “What was that, love? I don’t think I heard you correctly.”
“I need you to please fuck me,” I whimpered, trying to maneuver his fingers into me. He chuckled and pulled back. When my thighs instinctively tried to close he waved his hand, conjuring green strands of silk that pulled my legs apart and rendered them immobile at the same time that my bra and panties disappeared. “Please, Loki, please,” I sobbed as he stripped slowly, keeping his eyes on me the whole time.
His cock sprung free and I sighed in contentment. I was so ready for it, so determined to feel him inside of me. It was beautiful, long and thick, leaking precum and twitching despite his calm demeanor. For a moment he stood between my legs, tapping the tip of his cock on my clit until another involuntary, desperate sob from me made his gaze soften.
A long, keening cry came from my throat at he finally entered me. “Oh, pet, you needed me badly,” he crooned as I began to clench around him. “I cannot apologize enough for keeping you waiting, my love. Never again will I let you forget how wanted you are.”
My hips were moving on their own, my pussy fluttering all around his cock as it stretched me almost to my limit, so thick it was nearly painful. The god’s hands were on my hips, guiding my thrusts to meet his while he pounded forward. The green silk bonds kept my feet up, nearly suspending me off the bed. To keep my balance, I stretched my arms over my head and twisted my wrists so I could grip the bedcoverings. The little gasps escaping my lungs with each of his powerful thrusts turned into whimpers, which turned into whines, which turned into cries of ecstasy. Two of his long fingers trailed down my body to circle my clit, gathering the wetness from our joining and pressing firmly on the bud of nerves.
That was the final straw; I crashed over the edge with a feral scream, arching into him, crying his name. The bindings were gone, but I didn’t realize it until he turned me over so I was bent over the mattress and pounded into me from behind, chasing his own high. The intensity drew out my orgasm, making me tremble wildly around him. My pussy begged him to cum inside of me as much as my babbling pleas.
With a groan, Loki collapsed onto me, grinding his hips into my core as his cum filled me. I shivered with each pulsation. His lips landing on my shoulders brought me all the way back to reality.
I whimpered when he pulled out of me. He helped me onto the bed with him and cradled my head to his chest so I could refocus myself slowly, letting the room fade back into focus on its own time.
“Do you understand now, my love?” Loki finally whispered, kissing my hair. “Do you understand that I want you always?”
His chest rose and fell under my cheek when I smiled. “I think I’m starting to.”
Chapter 4
Notes:
Welcome to the first new chapter of the story since reformatting! I hope you enjoy--let me know what you think! Previous chapters have been updated to refer to the new OFC.
Chapter Text
Loki had, quite literally, fucked me into a stupor. I didn’t leave his room for the rest of the day, and he only left to pick up the delivery order I put through on my phone. As soon as he walked in with the bag of Chinese food he glared at me.
“Why are you clothed?” he asked. I looked down at the dress shirt I’d stolen from his closet and then back up at him.
“Because we’re eating,” I blinked.
He pursed his lips with displeasure but handed me the bag and settled into the bed next to me. “I will never understand your obsession with eating in the bed we sleep in.”
“It’s cozy,” I insisted as I removed containers of food. “Pick something to put on the TV.”
Loki hummed but picked up the remote for the television I’d made him put on a stand near the foot of his oversized bed. He pretended to hate television, but I’d caught him pretending a little too hard to be reading while I was watching something he found interesting.
“What are these?” he asked suspiciously when I handed him the paper packet of chopsticks. I slid mine out of the paper and demonstrated snapping them apart.
“You eat with them.”
Loki followed my example, huffing when his break wasn’t as clean as mine. “How exactly does one eat with these?”
I gestured to the packages. I’d gone a little overboard when I realized Loki had never tried Chinese food and ordered a bunch of my favorites. “Pick something you want to try.”
“Choose for me, my love,” he said, sounding exasperated but smiling fondly at me. I rolled my eyes and opened the package of dumplings, letting the steam escape from it before settling my chopsticks in my fingers.
“Okay, so you hold them like this, and then you just push down on this, and hold it like this… and then you grab the food and viola!” I grabbed the dumpling easily and took a bit out of it with a grin. Loki was blinking at me, obviously confused.
“Midgardians are far more creative than I believed, it seems,” he muttered as he tried to replicate my finger positions. I bit my lips to keep the smile off my face while I watched, taking nibbles off my dumpling as I did. His first few attempts he couldn’t even grip the dumpling; when he finally got ahold of it, it fell from his chopsticks just seconds after he lifted it from the container. “This is impossible,” he insisted after a moment, tossing the chopsticks into the container with frustration.
I stifled my giggle at his tantrum. “Sometimes it is so obvious you grew up rich,” I snorted. “Oh, my prince, do you require my assistance? Shall I feed you, my lord?” I teased mockingly, a laugh catching in my throat when I noticed the look he was shooting me.
Oh. Oh. Prince Loki of Asgard liked being reminded of his title. That should be filed away for future reference…
“Show me again,” he demanded, pointing to my now empty chopsticks. I raised my eyebrow at him.
“Don’t be a child, Loki. Use your manners.”
He narrowed his brow at me, but his voice was silky smooth and captivating as he spoke, living up to his nickname. “Show me again, please, darling.”
I handed him a packet with an eggroll in it first. “That’s finger food. You eat that while I show you,” I instructed, opening the other containers to find what I was looking for. “Okay, so, for future reference, this shit isn’t, like, real Chinese food. It’s American Chinese food. But I ran a mission in Beijing a few years ago and—”
“Love, I have absolutely no idea what you speak of.”
“Oh. Right. Uh, China. It’s a country on the other side of the planet. Sketchy government, weird obsession with some dark stuff in their more underground operations. I used to have to—” I saw Loki’s lost face as I spoke and stopped short, snorting a little. “We’ll look at a globe tomorrow, babe. The point is, this isn’t the real deal, it’s a result of immigration, but it’s still delicious.” He took a cautious bite from the egg roll, lighting up when he chewed.
“We have something like this in Asgard,” he explained after swallowing. “My mother and I used to make them together when I was being punished. She thought cutting all the vegetables would be good for me.”
I grinned. Loki rarely spoke of his mother, though I knew she was very important to him. It hurt a little that I would never get a chance to meet her, the woman who, according to Thor, had kept Loki some semblance of sane during his imprisonment under his father. I owed her a debt of gratitude. “Was it?” I asked as he took another bite. I grabbed a piece of orange chicken while he finished chewing.
“It certainly helped hone my skills.”
I snorted. “Somehow I don’t think that was her intention.”
When Loki finished the egg roll, I was munching on a piece of broccoli. He picked his chopsticks up again, fumbling them between his long fingers as he tried to copy my grip. “It’s nice to see something those fingers aren’t good at,” I murmured slyly as he struggled.
“You are lucky that I adore you, pet,” he growled, leaning into me. “Not many can speak to me in such a way.”
I only grinned and leaned in as well, pecking his lips lightly. “Lucky indeed.”
After a few more failed attempts the god sitting next to me gave up. “This is impossible, and you are a witch,” Loki finally said, tossing his chopsticks into the container again.
“You’re the witch.”
He sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I have told you, my dove, I am—”
“A god who knows magic. Whatever.” I bounded out of the bed and yanked open the door. “Thor!” I yelled through the floor.
“What?” came a faint response.
“Come here!”
“Stop yelling!” added in Tony’s yell from somewhere in the compound. I rolled my eyes and waited for Thor to arrive in the room.
“Áine, your clothes,” Loki hissed from the bed, standing quickly to find something to cover me. I rolled my eyes and batted him away.
“I have a shirt on and it covers my panties. Chill your grill, my dude.”
Thor came bounding in with a wide smile. “What is it, little one?” he asked as I climbed back onto the bed.
“Show Loki how to use chopsticks,” I said, offering him my set. He grinned and climbed onto the bed as well.
“Quite a few centuries have passed since I last shared a bed with my brother,” Loki said dryly as Thor easily held the chopsticks in his large hand and reached down to pluck some lo mein out of a container.
I blinked. “Wait. How old are you?”
Loki looked at me with an eyebrow raised after glaring at Thor, who was now helping himself to our dinner. “One thousand and forty seven, why?”
I choked on the lo mein I’d grabbed with Loki’s chopsticks so Thor couldn’t eat it all, Loki patting me on the back in concern. “Holy fucking shit,” I finally coughed, looking at him with wide eyes. “I knew you were old, but it never occurred to me that… Damn, you’re ancient!”
“Thor is a year older!” Loki insisted haughtily, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Alright, I’m just not gonna think about that right now,” I said with my hand raised, trying to remember what was even happening on Earth a millennia earlier. “Back to chopsticks.”
After a few more minutes of watching him suffer I handed Loki a plastic fork. He glared at the chopsticks as he handed them to me, finally trying the rest of the food. He kicked Thor out a while later when they were bickering over the last eggroll.
“You bring out a strange side of me,” Loki murmured against my temple when we’d settled in. We were laying on the bed with me between his legs, my back against his chest, watching Animal Planet in an attempt to introduce him to Earth geography. The lights were already shut off, and sleep seemed to be trying to claim me already.
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously.
He kissed my head gently before replying. “Before meeting you, I never would have imagined sitting on my bed with my brother and my lover, eating dinner and telling stories of our past.”
“That’s because you needed to lighten up,” I said with a yawn. Loki chuckled into my curls.
“Perhaps I did. You should rest.”
“Mhmm,” I hummed as my eyes closed. Loki’s gentle hand stroking my hair was the only thing I needed to lull me gently to sleep.
My entire body ached when I woke up. Loki must have been rougher than I thought the day before. My head was pounding as I swung my legs off the bed.
When my bare feet touched cold concrete instead of the soft fur rug beneath Loki’s bed, my head shot up, my eyes widening as I took in my surroundings.
No.
Please, please no.
I threw my hands over my mouth to hold back the panicked sob that wanted to break free. I shouldn’t call attention to myself yet. Focus, Áine. You’re trained for this. When I tried to stand, the pain in my ribs knocked me to my knees with my arm going around myself instinctively. My teeth gritted against the urge to moan—they were most definitely broken, at least three of them.
It was exactly as I remembered. The cell had a sort of omnipresent dampness to it. The only reprieve from concrete walls, floors, and ceiling was the metal-framed cot and scratchy blanket and the two parallel walls made of thick iron bars. I rubbed my hands over my face trying to remember… Right. It was a row of cells in a line, separated from each other by cinder block walls but open on the other two sides to prevent any cell from being on an outside wall. One of the lights somewhere was making an electric buzzing sound, only adding to the pressure from my headache.
How did I get here? How long had it been?! I pulled the rough brown jumpsuit away from my body to see Loki’s marks, see how the bruises had faded and hopefully, maybe start piecing together the events leading to waking up in this fucking cell again, and stared in horror at my skin beneath the jumpsuit. Bruises everywhere, littering my chest, covering my entire stomach… but not one from Loki. None of his remained.
My stomach flipped when an echoing set of footsteps rang through the halls. The only other sound was a low moaning coming from somewhere down the hall—one of the other prisoners, I assumed.
I couldn’t help but whimper a sob when Santos Barone came into view. Bruce had been right—he was heading into a prison network in Ukraine. This prison network. To come back for me.
Loki. Loki, please, help me.
He said nothing as he unlocked the cell. If I was at full strength I could have rushed him then, caught him low near the knees and taken off, but with three broken ribs and whatever was wrong with my left knee, I couldn’t even stand—which I tried to scream at him as he dragged me by my matted hair down the hall, my body grinding against the rough floors, friction burns and small scrapes tearing up my legs where exposed. “Please stop,” I begged through the fiery pain, trying to keep the sobs from completely overtaking me. “Please. Just kill me. Please.” I meant it. Everything hurt, and yet the foremost thought on my brain was what was going to come after him dragging me down the stairs, into the ancient dungeon below the prison level with His Cell. The one with the stained mattress. It was still there, mocking me, rushing up to meet me as I was shoved onto it.
No. Please.
Loki. Thor. Anyone, please, please help me! Loki!
My eyes were closed against the pain radiating through my body. The man yanked my hands up in a familiar motion, chuckling wickedly when I finally couldn’t take it anymore and let the sobs come. He tightened the shackles roughly around my wrists. Gods, please let me black out. Please. I can’t do this again.
“You knew I would come back for you, mound dweller.”
Wanda. Loki. Help me, please!
They weren’t coming. No one was coming. He made good on his promise—he came back, and this time he wasn’t going to let me go. I tried to focus on the pain. Remembering the pain would be better than the other thing, but when his rough hands tore open my jumpsuit and grabbed my breasts forcefully, I couldn’t control myself anymore. I needed out, but I was trapped with this man who had broken me once already and now was going to finish me off. It was too much. The pain was radiating all through my body, focusing in on the places his hands were touching me, and the only thing I could do was let down my final defenses and sob out a guttural scream.
“Áine! Wake up, darling, wake up!”
Loki. Loki? Where was he?
“Please, my sweet girl, my perfect girl, come back to me, please.”
Loki.
With the last of my strength, I wrenched open my eyes. Loki. It wasn’t those grey eyes over me, it was my favorite green ones, brimming with unshed tears. I only looked at them for a moment before launching myself up and into his arms, trying like hell to focus on the feel of his skin on my and his gentle hands holding me to him. The physical pain was beginning to fade away as his soft whispers started to make sense and the ache in my brain subsided.
“Help me,” I finally managed to whimper. Loki could make it go away; he could make it okay. Loki could keep me safe from him.
“I’m here, my love. Follow my voice. Come back to me.”
The shocking pain of the broken ribs was gone, but a new pain was in my chest, knocking the air out of my lungs as it spread. “Please,” I sobbed, trying to keep my grip on his skin and reality. Was it reality? I needed something, needed—needed him to put me under again, to give me a reprieve, to let me breathe, and I was being pulled by the hair again, and held in Loki’s arms… “Please, please, just kill me.”
Saying those words out loud made a tight knot in my chest loosen and suddenly I could breathe again, trying to suck in more air than my lungs could handle, almost painful in the intensity. Once the pain began fading in my chest, my other senses came back. There was a warm glow behind my closed eyelids, a firm body wrapped around mine, something soft and silky under me… There was no scent of must and mold in the air, no chill of persistent wetness. My lids fluttered open and I saw the black headboard, the sleek side tables, the large landscape painting of Asgard hanging on the wall, illuminated in the soft glow of the bedside lamp.
“Loki.” His name was a prayer of relief on my breath and he pulled back slowly and carefully. He gazed at me deeply, bringing his forehead to mine and closing his eyes, keeping a firm hand on the back of my neck.
“Áine. Tell me you’ve returned to me, sweet girl.”
I sniffed and nodded. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, just barely able to choke it out before I broke down in a mess of sobs.
I didn’t deserve this.
I didn’t deserve to be there.
I didn’t deserve the man holding me in his bed.
I didn’t deserve the people sleeping in the other rooms, the ones who I’d grown to love.
I didn’t deserve any of it.
But I was also hopelessly selfish. I wanted it so badly, wanted him and my new family. I couldn’t let that go. Not yet.
“Are you back with me? May I see your eyes, love?”
It was a struggle, but eventually I was calm enough to look at him and actually see him. My hands went to his face unintentionally and stroked his cheeks where shimmering trails from tears lingered. “Why are you crying?”
“You must never, ever say that again, Áine,” Loki said harshly, ignoring my question and pulling me into a hug again.
“Say what? You were crying. I could see—”
“’Please kill me’,” he quoted in a deadly hush. “Never say that. I am here. You are safe. Never, ever say that.”
“I should have gone back to my room,” I choked out, pulling out of his grasp and looking down at my hands. “I’m so sorry.”
His hands took mine, his long fingers fully encasing each of my much smaller hands. “What is this you speak of? Why would you leave my bed?”
My lip had gone between my teeth without my realizing it and I released it with a pop. “I can usually tell when it’s gonna happen.” Real life was staring to come back into full focus, my thoughts jumbled. “I make sure to sleep in my room so I won’t bother you.”
“You are never a bother,” Loki insisted in a horrified whisper. “How frequently do these dreams come, my love? Why did you keep such a thing from me?”
I could see him completely when my eyes met his again. Loki’s face faded from a dreamlike blur into sharp technicolor. Exhaustion was seeping in, and I leaned forward to press my forehead against his chest, his hands rubbing gently on my back immediately. “I dunno. They go in and out. It’s just not your problem. I’m really sorry for waking you.” With the return of reality, the guilt of disturbing the beautiful god in the bed with me, of being the cause of such anguish on his face, was crashing down and crushing me.
“No more of this,” Loki said hoarsely. “Áine, look at me.”
He was just as beautiful as ever. His raven hair was tousled from sleep and his anxious habit of running his hand through it. The low light cast the planes of his face into sharp relief with his eyes glimmering out from the shadows like emeralds illuminated by his own seiðr. I expected a fresh wave of guilt to engulf me when I looked at him so intently, but instead his soft gaze soothed me, calming the rapid pace of my heart and my thoughts.
“You are mine now,” the god croaked, taking my face in his hands. My breath caught as I absorbed his desperate insistence. “For the rest of time, your problems are mine. Any threat to you is a threat to me. My love, never hide from me, not even to spare me.”
Pressure built behind my eyes again, but tears wouldn’t come. I sniffed and started squirming away. “I think I’m dehydrated,” I mumbled, refusing to meet his gaze. After a moment he huffed and released me from his arms.
“Stay,” he hissed when I made to get up, narrowing his brow at me. I shirked away from the edge of the bed and pulled the bedcover up higher over my naked body.
He wasn’t mad at me. He wasn’t mad at me. I repeated it in my head, even though I knew it was only half true—he was pissed, but not because I’d had the dream. More because of the other stuff. The light of the en-suite flicked on and the hiss of the faucet vibrated out softly until, just as quickly, the light was cut and Loki was walking back to the bed. His expression was unreadable as he handed me the glass carefully, leaving his hand hovering as I took a sip. The cool water emphasized a burn in my throat that I didn’t know was there and I sucked the rest of it down greedily.
“Do you need more?” Loki asked lowly. I shook my head and he placed the glass on his bedside table before returning to his place next to me in bed. “You will be moving in with me in the morning.”
I turned in his arms to see his face and blinked. “When did I agree to that?”
“This is not a request, pet,” he growled with narrowed eyes. “I will not allow you to use your quarters as an excuse to hide your pain from me.”
Oh hell no. “I’m not one of your subjects, my lord,” I spat back, pulling away from him. “You don’t control me.”
“I do when you insist on working against your best interest.”
“No,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “Not even then.”
“Áine.” Oh no. I knew that tone. No one—literally, no one—could resist that tone. “My love, you have no reason to be apart from me now that I know the truth. Do you think I could bear standing idly by while you suffer? Let me take care of you.” His eyes flashed with otherworldly fire as he spoke.
I groaned and closed my eyes. “Stop that,” I said weakly, trying to resist the allure of his silvertongue. But he was right. He was so protective—now that I’d spilled the beans and he’d witnessed a nightmare, he was liable to sleep outside my door to be nearby if something were to happen. And what was wrong with him helping me, anyway? He cared about me. If it were him, I would do the same. “Fine,” I sighed.
Loki celebrated his success by nudging us both down and pulling my body against his as we snuggled under the sheets. He raised his hands to turn out the lamps, but I grabbed his wrists and grimaced. “Would it be okay if we left them on for a bit?”
His lips brushed against my forehead and he returned the hand to cupping my waist. “Of course.” He paused and fingered a stray curl. “Would you like to talk about it?”
“No.” I didn’t have to think about my answer. It was pointless. It wouldn’t change anything to talk about it, but it might freak Loki out even more, and there was no need for that.
There was a long pause and then a sigh. “Sleep now,” he conceded. I nodded against him, the exhaustion creeping in quickly, and let the comfort of his touch lull me to sleep.
She was infuriating.
He loved her with all his heart, of course, and was already dreading the day in his very near future when he would have to say goodbye due to her short human life, but they’d been together only a few weeks and she regularly drove him to the brink of insanity.
And yet, as he gazed at her sleeping form in his bed, he couldn’t help but think he was in the presence of an angel, of some divinity that surpassed even his own. Her voluptuous naked body was half covered by his bedcoverings, leaving the skin of her back mostly exposed save the length concealed by her mess of golden curls. The rays of morning sunshine peeking through the window cast part of her body into a radiant brilliance that only confirmed his suspicions that she was divine.
It was torture to tear himself away from her, but he wanted to make her breakfast and coffee before she awoke. He knew she was supposed to train today, but after the rough night she’d had, she would need all the extra energy she could get.
He chose an outfit out of the closet with little thought and smiled a little when he noticed what he’d grabbed. He’s been wearing more and more Midgardian clothes as Áine impacted his wardrobe. The shirt he’d picked out was a well-tailored, forest green dress shirt that she’d bought him on a venture into the city with the Witch and the Widow. When she’d presented it to him with a sly comment about adding color to his life, he’d shot something back about blonde curls and blue eyes that led to… well, a very pleasant memory. One he wouldn’t mind repeating someday.
When he was sure she was still soundly asleep, he slipped out of the room and headed downstairs to the kitchen. It was empty. Loki was usually the first awake—a remnant of his time as a true representative of Asgard. He doubted Odin would ever trust him to carry out business again.
The smell of coffee lured out Natasha, who seemed to have her own superpower of arriving whenever someone began cooking. “Mornin’,” she yawned, laying her head in her arms on the island when she slid into a barstool. Loki smirked at her and grabbed out a larger pan.
“Good morning, Natasha. Can I offer you breakfast?”
“Yes, please,” she murmured, turning her head to the other side to give Loki a grin. “Bringing Áine breakfast in bed again?”
Loki hummed, trying to seem nonchalant while hiding how pleased he was. Before Áine, not a single member of the team would have taken note of him cooking. Hel, before Áine he didn’t think he’d ever cooked in the compound kitchen. The rest of the team was cordial with him at best, cold from suspicion at worst, until the moment the tiny ball of curly-haired sunshine reached up and pulled his face down to kiss him. She’d admitted to him later that she’d overheard him speaking with Thor before and knew of his feelings, but he was too thrilled at the feeling of holding her in his arms to have a moment to care.
“Loki?” came a small voice. The god looked up in surprise to find Wanda entering the kitchen with her arms wrapped around herself, looking just on the edge of miserable. His brow furrowed.
“Are you alright?” he asked her quietly as she approached. She looked up and gave him a weak smile and a nod.
“Did, um… Did Áine have a nightmare last night?”
He pursed his lips. The rooms were quite nearly soundproof; even with the volume of her cries, it was extremely unlikely they would have carried down the hall to the Witch’s room. “Yes,” he confirmed after a moment. “How did you know?” He put his hand on her shoulder gently and led her to the stool next to Natasha, who was sitting up at full attention now.
“I could hear her,” Wanda whispered, squinting her eyes closed. “She was calling out for help.”
“How could you hear that?” Loki asked. He cocked his head at her as he tried to figure out what was happening. Perhaps the Witch was developing a new power—superhuman hearing would be particularly useful for recon missions.
Wanda tapped two fingers on the middle of her forehead. “Whatever she was feeling, it was so strong that I could hear her crying out for us.”
“Us?” Loki asked in whispered despair, closing his eyes against the new wave of pain. He should have woken earlier, should have kept her from getting to the point of screaming so loudly he feared she would hurt herself. She was crying out for him with such horror that the Witch down the hall picked up on it, and he’d simply sat there in shock as he took in the thrashing of her limbs and contortion of her face. She’d been begging for him and he hadn’t even noticed.
“You guys have to stop beating yourselves up over this,” Natasha said, the edge of sleep fading from her voice. “It’s not productive. Honestly, the fact that she feels safe enough with you to be asking for help, even in her dreams, is a good sign.”
Loki closed his eyes and tilted his head to the ceiling before returning to the bowl of eggs he’d been whisking. “May I make you some breakfast, Wanda?” he asked quietly, still keeping an eye on the Witch, who was rubbing her temples with Natasha patting her shoulder comfortingly.
“If it’s not too much trouble.”
After plating up the eggs and toast for the two women Loki quickly washed the pan and bowl. He kept an eye on Wanda out of the corner of his eye, ensuring that she took a bite before plating up the food for himself and Áine and heading back up the stairs.
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Notes:
There will be no explanation.
Chapter Text
“You seriously need to chill.”
If I had to deal with Loki’s hovering for another second, I was gonna lose it. I’d finally been assigned my first mission since The Big Secret came out. Cap and I were trying to lay a tracker on a HYDRA higher-up who’d been spotted in multiple countries within a few weeks. We’d decided that taking him out would be useless; tracking him and trying to make sense of his movements would be more productive. Normally I would prefer to run such a mission with Nat, but she and Wanda were headed out as well, visiting a site in First Nations Inuit-owned land in the northern isles of Canada that a HYDRA cell had abandoned out of nowhere.
Cap and I had far less of a lead on location; the last known was a small village a few hours down the Amazon River from Iquitos, but that was a week ago. We would have moved in earlier, but…
The guilt I felt about holding up missions was still eating at me. I’d only noticed a few days ago that only one team seemed to go out at a time. When I’d asked Steve about it and he adverted his eyes, I knew what was happening and chewed him out right there in the compound kitchen. Were things a little rough for me at the moment? Sure, but that didn’t mean I needed to be taken off cases altogether, and it certainly didn’t mean I needed to be constantly babysat by the majority of the team.
Loki took more convincing. When he first heard I was taking a mission, he’d tried first to talk me out of it before insisting he partner with me. I’d just rolled my eyes. He and Bruce had obviously been working on something—they were always slinking off into the labs in the basement for hours at a time. Taking him away from that work would likely be more harm than him coming with me would help.
“I simply worry about you, my love,” he murmured in my ear. His arms slid around me from behind as I looked through my side of our joint walk-in closet to decide what to bring in my pack. With little idea of what climates we might end up in, packing was more difficult.
Still, I leaned my head back on his chest when he put his chin on my head. “I know you do, but you worried about me before and you were never like this.” I spun in his embrace and wrapped my arms around his waist. “The only thing that’s changed for me is that you know now. It’s not like it just happened and I need supervision.” In all honestly, I probably could have used supervision for a while after I was extracted from that prison, but my desire to keep the incident from ending up in a file somewhere outweighed the alternative.
Loki sighed and held my head to his chest. A hum came from my throat as he gently massaged my scalp. “Will you please promise to make contact when you can?”
“When I can,” I said firmly. “I don’t know how much trouble you think I can get into with Rogers around.”
“Any trouble that you get into is too much trouble for me,” he insisted.
I snorted and looked up at him. My chin was on his chest as I lifted my face straight up; he was so much taller than me that my head barely reached his pecs. “You might have picked a girlfriend in the wrong line of work then,” I teased.
“Oh, pet, I could never have chosen anyone but you. You are meant for me, and I you.” He leaned down and gave me a soft kiss as my heart melted. “Are you packed?”
“No,” I sighed. “I don’t know what to bring.”
Loki looked around and hummed. “The temperature regulating shirts that Stark and Banner produced have yet to be tested in the field. Perhaps one of those?”
“Hmm, good call.” I grabbed two of the surprisingly thin, lightweight shirts and tossed them in my pack. Loki hovered over me and held my pack while I continued filling it, being sure to leave room for my gear.
“You should bring a coat,” Loki insisted as I headed down the stairs to set my bag at the door. “Your destinations are unknown. It would do you no good to die of cold.”
“I can find a parka if I need a parka, dear,” I said through gritted teeth. He was really starting to get on my nerves. “Would you please go get my gear from the armory?”
I leaned my head back against the wall when he disappeared. “He driving you crazy?” I opened my eyes again and saw Nat smirking at me.
“He’s so damn protective,” I groaned, resuming my previous pose. “It’s kind of sweet, but it’s also making me want to tear his hair out.”
Nat scoffed. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t give a shit if you need a parka,” she sang teasingly. I opened my eyes and glared playfully.
“Have fun freezing in the damn North Pole,” I snarked back.
“Yeah, because Colombia is gonna do wonders for your hair.” She smiled wickedly when my jaw dropped open, easily sliding out of the way when I lunged at her. “I hope Rogers knows how to braid,” she laughed.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Watch your back, Natasha Romanov. I’ll be coming for you.”
“Are we threatening people now, love?” asked a silky voice from behind me. Loki was standing there with my gear bag hanging loosely from one of the arms crossed casually over his chest.
I smiled sweetly. “That depends. Are you gonna testify against me?” I paused and blinked. “Wait, would you even have to? Are you a citizen? Like, could they try to extradite you from Asgard?” I looked over at Nat. “These are the questions I need answered before I murder you, so you live to see another day.”
Wanda bounced into the room with her own pack. She was grinning widely, as she had been lately. I really thought she wouldn’t meet the deadline for talking to Vision—on the Sunday morning that we’d agreed on, she’d spent all of brunch giving me panicked glances over her coffee mug and shooting her gaze to Vision. I’d planned to go find her, talk to her, tell her it was just a conversation and it would help if she was feeling as stressed as she told me she was, but I couldn’t find her. Actually, I couldn’t find her until hours later, when she’d come flying into the garage where Nat was teaching me how to use some piloting tech I’d never worked with.
Before saying a word she’d grabbed my hand a tugged me a few feet away, then leaned in and whispered, “Can I invite Nat to the Sad Girl’s Club today?”
Her tone was unmistakable, and when I turned my head her excited grin only confirmed my suspicions. I didn’t even bother answering—I grabbed Natasha’s arm like Wanda had grabbed mine and dragged her into the woods with us.
Wanda was spilling the beans before we even got to the boulder. According to her, what had started as a nerve-wracking conversation turned into more as they spoke and became more comfortable. Based on her blissed-out look and the sudden outbreak of a much more outgoing Wanda, I was sure what I’d said about the Kama Sutra in Vision’s head was true.
Vision, it seemed, also fell victim to masculine protectiveness. He trailed her into the foyer with me, Nat, and Loki, almost pouting. Admittedly, Wanda hadn’t been on many assignments yet. She’d been primarily working on developing her powers—something she’d recently asked Loki for help with, which delighted him far more than I’d anticipated. The missions she had worked since moving in were primarily local or urban areas. This would be her first time adventuring somewhere that may lead to a loss of contact for a while.
“She’s who you should be asking about packing coats,” I said, turning to Loki and pointing at Wanda. He just rolled his eyes and handed my gear bag to me.
When I looked back over, Vision had Wanda in a full dip kiss. Nat was looking on with her nose scrunched. I caught her eye and giggled as they went on.
“No. Absolutely not.”
We all looked over to see Tony entering the room with his arms over his chest. “We’ve already had to deal with enough from these two—” he gestured to me and Loki— “and I will not have this facility turning into a den of hedonism.”
“Your middle name is Hedonism,” I said dryly.
“His middle name is Edward,” Vision corrected.
I shot him an exasperated look before turning back to Tony. “Besides, you’re just grumpy that Pepper hasn’t been by lately.” She lived in New York full time while she ran the company; she would come to the compound when possible, but her workload was understandably time-consuming.
“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” Tony said with a blank-faced shrug. “Romanov, Maximoff, your transport leaves in ten. They want you out on the tarmac.”
“How long do I have?” I asked him while stretching.
“Looks like it’ll be another few hours,” Steve said when he walked in, tossing his pack and the leather bag containing his shield next to mine on the floor. “Bad weather to the south. Pilot wants to hold off.”
Nat and Wanda were heading to the door now, and I stepped over to hug them before they headed out the door. “Be safe,” I murmured quietly to them. It was always nerve-wracking when my friends were sent on missions, but in the last couple of weeks of bonding so deeply with Wanda and even Nat, the pang was even stronger. “Love you.”
They each hugged me and repeated the sentiments until Tony finally poked me in the side to get me to leave them alone. I squealed from the tickle, giving Vision time to grab their bags and usher them out the door.
“Okay,” I sighed to Steve as he leaned on the doorway to the kitchen. “I’m good to go whenever.”
He nodded. “If I can’t find you when we’re ready to leave, FRIDAY will,” he said nonchalantly as he walked away. Tony followed suit, leaving Loki and I alone. I grinned wickedly and turned to him.
“You know they left so we can bone, right?”
Loki cocked his head. “Bone?”
I snorted. “Bone. Rail. Make the beast with two backs. Fuck.” My innocent smile tipped him over the edge and he was suddenly dragging me back up the stairs.
“You are insatiable,” he muttered once our door shut behind us and he was pressing me up against it. I moaned and tangled my fingers into his hair as he pressed his mouth to my neck, then moved up to lay a passionate kiss on my lips. The movement of his tongue made me a little dizzy until he pulled back to let me up for air. “We should be very, very certain that your urges are quenched, my dearest.”
“I know,” I teased in a murmur. “And Rogers is a total prude, so that’s not an option.”
The comment got the reaction I wanted; within a moment his large hand was wrapped around my neck, pinning me to the wall, leaving me plenty of room to breathe but completely trapping me in his grasp. “Would you like to try that again, pet?” he crooned, an evil glint in his eyes as I stared at him, wide-eyed.
“I need you to fuck me, Loki,” I whispered, still watching him. My heart was pounding in my ears. His body against mine was so demanding and powerful, and he was so demanding and powerful, a literal god on Earth that I was somehow lucky enough to share a bed with. “Please. I need to feel you inside of me before I leave.”
The fervor of his kiss caught me by surprise. My hands slipped from his hair to his neck where I began fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. The damn things would not cooperate; finally, I’d had enough and ripped the shirt open.
“Did you just tear my shirt?” Loki asked, delighted, when he pulled away. “That will have to be mended, my love.”
“Bill me,” I breathed before pulling him back to me. He chuckled lightly against my lips but returned the kiss with fire. I couldn’t help but moan against his mouth, caught up in the feeling of him against me so fiercely that I didn’t even notice he’d moved us to the bed until my back was pressed into the mattress. Loki hovered above me and started to trail his lips down my neck. I gasped and cemented my fingers into his hair even further.
“Swear that you will return to me,” he muttered against my collarbone. I shivered against his touch. My hands fell from his head, clutching at the blanket beneath me when his fingers slipped under the tactical army-green long-sleeve that I always wore during transport.
“I swear.” When he looked up at me I saw, through his façade, the very real worry. “Loki, I swear. I’ll be fine. We’ll be back in no time.” I smiled and stroked his cheek gently. “Promise me that you’ll behave while I’m gone?”
A grin slipped through his concern. “I can make no such promises, my love, but for you I will do my best.” I rolled my eyes, but he didn’t see the action—his mouth had attached to my neck again, high by my ear.
“Loki,” I whined breathily. “People will see that!”
“Then you understand the point of marking you,” he whispered wickedly in my ear. “You are mine, and mine alone. Every creature in the nine realms shall know that you have been claimed by a Prince of Asgard.”
“Claimed?” I scoffed, but the sound caught in my throat when his fingers snuck higher and brushed the skin just under my bra. “You don’t own me, darling.”
“Do I not?” That stupid, nonchalant confidence was back, but I didn’t have time to shoot back a retort before he’d managed to whip my shirt off over my head, yanking the sports bra off with it. His shirt was off with a shrug of his shoulders. A shiver ran through me when his lips suddenly closed around an already pebbled nipple.
In each spot on my body where Loki had left a now-fading mark over a week prior, he pressed his cool lips gently, suckling ever so slightly—not to recreate the mark, but to savor my skin, making me shiver beneath him with each alluring flick of his tongue. By the time he reached the band of my black tactical pants, I was panting.
He slid them down my thighs slowly with my panties, kissing the skin of my legs as he did. When I was rid of the pants, he crawled back up my legs and stomach slowly, pushing me into the mattress harder with his body when he kissed me. His lips were passionate, frantic against me as he ground himself into my core. I was already soaked—his pants were almost certainly going to show the evidence, but no part of me could possibly care when he was up against me like this, kissing me so urgently, groping at my body like it was air and he was drowning. A whimper of pleasure slipped from my lips when he thrust against me again. At least I wasn’t the only one with noticeable evidence of their arousal; Loki was rock hard through his pants.
“You’re too clothed,” I murmured when he let me come up for air. He smirked at me and snapped, and suddenly we were skin to skin, the shaft of his cock pressing against my folds. “Fuck, Loki,” I gasped when he thrust lightly again, creating the most delicious friction.
“Oh, my dove,” he cooed, leaning down to kiss me again quickly. “So wet and ready for me. What do you want, Áine? Do you want my lips on you? My fingers inside of you? Or do you want…” he trailed off and thrust once more. I gritted my teeth against the incredible pleasure. Rogers said we had a few hours to go before leaving…
“I want whatever you want,” I breathed.
His wicked grin was almost better than the pleasure I knew he was about to rock through me. He leaned down to kiss my earlobe gently and whispered, “On your knees, pet.”
As soon as he was off me and I was able to move, I scrambled off the bed and knelt next to it. He’d seated himself on the edge and was languidly pumping his cock while I settled myself between his legs. I watched the movement of his hand eagerly.
Sex with Loki was truly something else. I’d never felt the way I did with him—physically, emotionally, mentally, anything. He was more, more, more of everything I didn’t know I needed. A thousand years of experience all culminated in giving me the best orgasms of my life, playing my body like a piano and satisfying needs that seemed to lie dormant until the first time his lips met mine. I was accustomed to being the one taking control, but there was something so freeing about the way Loki worked, the way he looked at me, the names he called me. The simple tap of his fingers on his thigh was enough to have me leaning forward and obediently opening my mouth for him.
“You really must return to me, you know,” Loki mused with a sort of detached interest as he knit the long fingers of one of his hands into my hair. He used the grip to pull me towards him and the other hand to angle his cock so that he was several inches deep in my throat before I realized. Both hands were in my hair then, moving my head back and forth at the same pace as his fist. He didn’t go deep enough to gag me—Loki’s cock was thick and dense and long and could do damage if he wanted—but was accomplishing what I knew his real goal was: asserting his power. “This body is such a lovely fit for mine. It would be a shame to lose it.”
The shiver of happiness that went through me when he complimented my body wasn’t lost on him and he chuckled darkly. Loki and I both knew that his disinterest wasn’t true, that there was more here than the physicality, but something about the siren’s song harmonizing with his voice was making me melt at every word and thought. There was an audible pop when he pulled me off him and I looked up at him with wide eyes. He was so strong and powerful over me… Something he proved when he scooped me up and tossed me onto the bed, wrenching my legs apart and planting his tongue flat against me without warning.
I squealed and jerked away instinctively but he held me fast, feeding off my confused gasps of pleasure as I reoriented myself. The room was still spinning… shouldn’t it have stopped by now? But the heat coming from between my legs was so intense, so overwhelming, that my mind was caught in the freefall. “Loki,” I moaned, surprising myself with how desperate and throaty my voice was.
“Áine,” he sang back before plunging his tongue into me. My hands flew into his hair as I cried out. His long fingers had found my clit and were gently pinching and twisting, bringing the shocks of desperation his movements sent through me to my throat in pathetic sobs. He hummed against me when I tugged fruitlessly on his hair.
I wanted him.
The cloud of that thought consumed me more and more with every shock of pleasure the god between my legs shot through me. The whimpers and mewls coming from me were nearly inhuman, pornographic in their sound alone as I struggled to watch his actions. He was gorgeous. He was gorgeous. Loki.
“How many times do you think I can bring you over the edge?” the god hummed from between my legs. I bit my lip—anything he gave me would be enough, as long as he let me cum. “I suppose we must start with one.”
The orgasm hit me like a truck I hadn’t seen coming, exploding out into my extremities. I could tell I was arching off the bed, but I was so sucked into the pleasure of his tongue swirling around my clit and his fingers pumping into me that I couldn’t feel, let alone control, anything else about my body. Loki. He was everything.
I only realized I was babbling when I heard him gently shushing me, cooing to take it, keep going, take more… I was shivering under his touch, blinded by the feeling of his ring and middle fingers pumping in and out of me, curling up to perfectly hit that spot inside of me. The bed was falling, or maybe flying, and the movement of his fingers made an absolutely salacious squelching sound as a fresh wave of wetness covered his palm. My gaze was locked on his wild green eyes as his watched me lose myself again. Everything surrounding us was in a fog, but that look on his face… the look that told me I was in deep, deep trouble… had me whimpering for him as I came down from my second orgasm.
“Colombia takeoff, 15 minutes out. All personnel report to the tarmac.”
FRIDAY’s announcement through the invisible speakers in the walls brought reality crushing back down around us. I was panting wildly, staring up at Loki with wide eyes, not entirely sure what had happened—and he was cursing, staring down at my exposed body ravenously, nostrils flaring with each heavy breath. The dark fury on his face had me shivering. I could practically read his thoughts—a flick of his wrist would bring Stark’s whole AI to a firey, explosive end, and our interruption would be gone.
But it wouldn’t be. The mission would still be there, and Tony would be furious. Loki seemed to come to this realization at the same moment I did, because the glowing seiðr that had begun to grow from his fingertips up his arms extinguished, and the fire in his eyes receded. He closed the green orbs for a long moment as I stared up at him in confused awe. Fuck. He should be inside me right now. Rogers said we had hours!
I kept staring at Loki. As the fire of lust dissipated from his eyes, some other smoke took over—a foggy wave of fear before he carefully paved over that as well and forced a smile. His concern didn’t seem silly anymore. Not in that moment, not with the threat of our separation so imminent. I hadn’t spent a day—or a night—without Loki since the Big Secret came out, and while nothing had changed… everything had changed.
“Let’s get you sorted then, my Love,” Loki said quietly with a somber smile. A wave of his hand, a shimmer of green light, and our clothes were back in ordered, straightened around our bodies and perfectly dry. My flush of embarrassment at him using his magic to dry the wetness from our clothes brought the first real smirk to his face since our interruption.
We took our time on the walk to the tarmac, ambling the halls of the compound with hands intertwined. The arousal was still pitted between my hips. Now, with no chance at relief, I opened my mouth to complain, but Loki’s low, calm voice interrupted me.
“If you so much as touch Rogers, my love, I will destroy him. I will send him to Hades with a flick of my wrist. Do you understand?”
I stopped and looked at him with knotted brows. “Hades is Greek.”
Loki scoffed. “He is. But there is no greater tormentor in all the afterlives. And I owe him a few souls.”
I let that sink in for a moment, a mess of questions jumbling suddenly in my mind at this new bit of information. A Greek god? One whom Loki, her perfect boyfriend, owed… souls? And this was his major concern when the entire future of humanity laid at stake?
“If I touch Rogers, would that not be my decision? Why punish him for my sin?”
The words escaped my lips before I really knew what I was saying. The words sounded… older than my own. Something Loki would say, almost. Teasing, taunting, but serious in their intention.
Loki only laughed hollowly in response. “And what would you have me do, my darling? Punish you? Destroy you? Never. But rage.” He pushed me against the wall suddenly, and I was dizzy—standing in the foyer to the Avengers compound, surrounded on all sides by Loki, and his scent and smell, and the very essence of Him, his words echoing across my mind like prophecy. “Rage is unbound, my dove. It cannot be quenched until blood has been shed.”
We stood there for a long moment. Loki’s hot breath brushed heavily against my ear. Finally, he chuckled and pulled away from me, pecking my lips swiftly as he went. “Breathe,” he reminded me, laughing louder as I sucked in air greedily. “You will return to me, Aine.”
“Yes,” responded breathily as he led me out the front door and down the diagonal path that led to the compound’s small airfield.
“No. Say it. Tell me you will return to me.”
“I will return to you, Loki.”
“And you will do so alive and unharmed.”
“And I will do so alive.”
Loki scowled as we approached the wide metal gates that segmented the airfield off from the rest of the grounds. “And you will be unharmed.”
“And I will be alive.”
It meant a lot to him for me to promise him this. I could tell—but I couldn’t feed his delusion here. My job was not safe. I’d spent years coming to terms with this—understanding that my job meant a daily risk to my life, and my sacrifice to the Greater Good meant that every mission handed over to me meant a potential death sentence. Loki was far less willing to live in this reality than I was. To Loki, there was no harm that could befall me that he could not overcome by mere factor of his divity. To Loki, I was just as immortal as he was.
I rued the day he discovered this was not true. I rued the day that the wrinkles began to form in the corner of my eyes, and my body began to stop behaving the way I’d so carefully trained it to. Someday—and, in the scheme of Loki’s life, in the blink of an eye—I would begin to noticeably age, and he would lose interest.
But for now, I had him. For now, he was settling me carefully in the aircraft near Steve Rogers, whispering protection charms over me as he buckled my seatbelt and kissed me. For now Loki was my God, and I his most favored.
pegging enthusiast (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 06 Dec 2021 06:27PM UTC
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pegging enthusiast (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 06 Dec 2021 06:27PM UTC
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