Fighting fate

by Elliottuwu

Summary:

Follow Regulus in his seven (6) years at Hogwarts where he is sharpening and polishing the very knife that will take him out.

Or

Regulus has showed utmost compliance. He's excelled in everything and hasn't associated himself with the awful group his brother is hanging around with. Unless you account for the horrible thoughts he has of James Potter, of course.

This will be as canon compliant as I want it to be, Sirius and Regulus are twins but only for angsty blood ties reasons.

Also, disclaimer, I wish nothing but lucid hallucinations to JK R*wling. I do NOT support her transphobic views and whoever does can kindly step away. Thank you, enjoy!

Chapter 1: Meetings

Regulus surely did most things right. He abided by the laws his parents set and he had gotten sorted into Slytherin. He tried to be a loyal brother for Sirius, a worthy son for his mother, an perfect student for the sake of his pureblood legacy. He didn't do anything wrong, he tried to make amends with everyone. So why is his whole life flashing before his eyes as he suffocates to death?

×××××××××××××××××

"Hey Reg! We have to move faster if we do not want to miss the train!" Sirius Black yelled at his brother from the room next door while he was trying to fit his robes.

"I'll be there in a sec...second!" Regulus Black's idea of Hogwarts was pretty stained from what his mother had told him that summer.

'Fail to get sorted into Slytherin, and the consequences may be…severe.'

There was a mutual understanding of what it was like if you don't get sorted into the 'right house', as mother reminded both her twin sons very carefully. Regulus could look back to the memories of a distant uncle, his name must've been Alfred, Regulus noted, who had the audacity to get sorted into Ravenclaw. Of course that wasn't the only reason his head got blown off the family tapestry. Any association with muggles and muggleborns rendered you an invalid. Nevertheless, he knew he had to be careful. He was sure mother was monitoring all of his moves and he couldn't risk it. Of course there was the matter of Sirius, which he knew to be hot headed, reckless. Regulus had to look after him, despite that never being his role. No, the truth was, Regulus felt trapped.

"eg-! REG! Snap out of it, alright!" Sirius was shaking his brother lightly, his eyes never leaving him. "What's gotten into you?" There was a puzzled look in his eyes, he usually reserved that for the house elf, Kreacher, when he had hidden something of importance. Of course Sirius lacked the anger that came with talking to the family's house elf.

"Sorry I got way too deep in my head again, Siri." Regulus sniffled and looked Sirius in the eyes. He was challenging his brother to look into his eyes, to acknowledge the anxiety. He didn't seem to be observant enough.

"Don't apologise, alright? What did we promise back in France, Arctie?" Sirius was caressing his brother's dark curls absemindetly.

Arctie was a nickname that derived from Regulus' second name, Arcturus. Regulus hated it as much as his first name, it wasn't nearly as cool as Sirius Orion, but he had managed after Sirius found a solution to his problems. Arctie was also very funny to pronounce with a French accent, which was their original one despite Walburga having to force it out of them once they moved to London. It was an inside thing between the two brothers, it reminded the other of their promise, it reminded the other that they're now speaking on serious terms.

"That...Ce serait toujours nous, us against the world!" Regulus smiled innocently enough, which from his side seemed to please Sirius.

×××××××××××××××××

They managed to catch the train eventually and as the Black brothers were getting into the wagons, they bid goodbye to their parents.

"Wow! We're going to Hogwarts Reg!" Sirius jumped up and down on his seat. He had to make a mental note to remind Sirius to just stick to calling him Regulus once they arrived at Hogwarts. "Ah, I hope we end up somewhere nice, the both of us!"

"Slytherin, preferably..." Regulus muttered.

"Or something more exciting!" Sirius, had a glimmering sign of mischief that seemed to be bottled up for years and finally having a way to show itself. It startled him. It scared him. He hoped Sirius had enough brain in him to not be impulsive.

"Excuse me, is this compartment free?" A red-headed girl poked through the door and into the wagon, casting a small shadow, subsequently interrupting Regulus's thought process.

"Obviously not, can you not see us?" Sirius clicked his tongue, faking superiority.

"... But it still has some space for you so you may come in...right Sirius?" Regulus tried saving the situation from spiralling down to a fight. He didn't want people to call him names during his Hogwarts time anyways, though he knew there was a small chance of that happening, since his blood status had taken care of such affairs already.

"I'm Severus Snape." The voice of a boy with greasy black hair had interrupted Regulus's thought process again and it made him stare at the boy curiously.

"Sirius Black. And this is my brother, Regulus, Regulus, say hi, it's rude to think in front of our guests!" Sirius said mockingly and Regulus could swear he caught a glimpse of the red-headed girl rolling her eyes. She didn't bother introducing, or maybe she already had while Regulus was deep in his head, which he made a note not to repeat once at his new school, but he still learned her name when the other boy, Snape, asked her whether she wanted sweets from the trolley witch or not.

"So Evans, where are you from? The States?" Sirius accentuated his British accent - which Regulus knew was a fake - and resumed to his previous posture - a good ol' stretched out form with one leg over the other.

"I'm from here actually. Thought you would understand from the accent but maybe my expectations exceed reality?" she snapped back and the air in the room changed, as if someone had sucked off most of it and now you could only breathe predetermined portions. He didn't possibly understand when that had happened.

"And yet, your last name doesn't ring a bell. Is your father a...muggle?" Sirius made a disgusted face and Snape seemed to have shifted uncomfortably in his place.

"Father, mother, the whole family really." Regulus observed her south British accent had accentuated as she got more agitated.

"Our first interaction and it's with a muggleborn. Come on Reggie, I ought to believe our company needs an upgrade." With that, he stood up and motioned to Regulus to leave. He, of course, abided by his brother's wishes, also holding the same beliefs mother dearest had drilled into them.

Regulus was certain he had heard the boy telling his friend that everything was alright and that they better not associate themselves with such snobs.

"Bad start." Was all Sirius said as he sat back down. Regulus could only sigh. Seems like his brother's temper and arrogance would prevent him from making friends easily.

×××××××××××××××××

Some hours passed by and Regulus was getting bored. Sure, talking with his brother about Hogwarts was plenty for him, seeing the landscapes of northern Scotland wasn't bad either, but there was a limit to how much he could do those things. Plus, Sirius had a bad habit of shooing their guests away, seemingly pointing out their most minor flaws. He shooed away a girl for simply having a 'cow's stare' as he had so eloquently said himself. It made Regulus feel suffocated and he wished the compartment windows could be opened.

"I'll go to the bathroom to put on my robe, alright?" Regulus only earned a nod from Sirius who was reading Hogwarts: A History, even though he had already read it twice.

In the bathroom, he had time to recompose. He assumed that his brother had made everyone who had entered the compartment leave out of overprotective-ness to his 'little brother' as Sirius called him. That was evidently a term Sirius used as a status more than an actual fact. He was the heir to the most ancient and noble house of Black, hence his determination to accentuate the fact that Regulus was, in spite of a couple of minutes difference, the youngest.

He seemed to smile at that thought, it brought him peace, reminded him of the real character of his brother, not that posh pureblood he had left being in that carriage. He suddenly remembered the promise they had made to each other. They'll always stick by one another, no matter what. He let out a sigh of relief and, after he put on his neutral house robes, went back to his compartment, which surprisingly had someone other than his brother in it.

"You must be Sirius's brother." the other boy beamed at him, it made his insides churn. He hoped not to be recognised just as Sirius's brother. Once the pleasantries seemed to have been arranged and Sirius saw him fit, Regulus spoke.

"Yes, I am Regulus Black. And you must be..."

"James Fleamont Potter! "The other boy kept smiling, or was he grinning, Regulus wasn't sure of the difference between the two. He accepted his stuck out hand though and they engaged in a firm handshake that didn't last long.

Regulus took some time to readjust his grey and white tie and leaned over to Sirius, who seemed to be very pleased by their guest.

"He's a Potter, mother said not to..." Regulus cut off his about-to-be speech on blood traitors as Sirius raised his hand.

"No need. James here seems like an alright bloke." Bloke? Sirius didn't use such common words. "Plus, as your elder, I must be your compass as to who we'll befriend at Hogwarts."

"Sirius, we're twins, stop telling people that I'm your younger brother." Regulus was annoyed by that at times where the joke didn't stick to just between them, but a third party as well.

"What house do you want to get sorted into, Potter?" he smirked, simultaneously changing the theme of the conversation and also waiting not-so-patiently to give his own answer.

"Gryffindor, of course! It's the house my parents got sorted into and they've told me all sorts of-"

At that moment, a sunburnt boy with ashy blonde hair entered the compartment, rather loudly, Regulus observed, and smiled up at Potter, before acknowledging the rest of the compartment. Regulus thought he got recognised by the frown in the blonde's features.

"James!" he reached into his pockets and pulled out sweet after sweet, earning a cheer from the other boy.

"Wa'a share?" the blonde said with his mouth full as he offered some to the group. Regulus declined politely, having an utmost disgust to anything sweet, which left his brother with double the sweets, something he wasted no time upon.

"Cheers, uhm, I am awfully inexcusable but I cannot pinpoint where I know you from." Sirius had said, earning an early smile from Regulus who knew the whole 'where do I know you from' was a ruse their parents had taught them. The other boy didn't seem to mind.

"Oh I'm Peter Pettigrew, my bad, forgot to introduce myself." Regulus could tell that Peter was an anxious child. He gave an understanding nod.

"Ah I see, a Pettigrew and a Potter, exactly the people mother advised against meeting." Sirius's mischievous grin appeared again, despite Regulus having hoped he had seen the last of it.

×××××××××××××××××

The three boys didn't seem to mind each other's company and it left Regulus to wonder what was so unnerving about the situation. It surely was the voice he could hear in his head, which belonged to none other than Miss Walburga Black, telling him that he'll get disowned, had he taken any chances on befriending the other two. He called that voice the self preservation voice. However, there was nothing he could do, he had already drawn attention to the fact that James was a blood traitor and Sirius hadn't taken him seriously, no pun intended.

"Where do you wanna get sorted, Black?" James had interrupted the thought process that Regulus was eager to continue. "Not Slytherin, I suppose."

"Eh, Slytherin is kind of my best option, if I want to make a respectable wizard in the future." Sirius had made sure to make a perfect posture out of the last few words.

"So who says? Mom says Gryffindor is the house of the brave."

"Well I'm sure she didn't mean the others where...y'know, cowards." Pettigrew had joined the conversation, it seemed he was suffering from a common stomach ache as he was clutching his belly, trying hard not to make any pained sounds. Regulus felt sorry for him.

"Shall I expect the same answer from you then, Reggie?" James looked right into his eyes, it had bothered him a great deal.

"It's Regulus. And yes, I am not one to disappoint my parents." his voice stayed neutral.

"Right, well then, a shame!" James, nay, Potter, Regulus had made a pact to only call him that in the last few minutes, had proclaimed in a fit of overdramatic-ness. He only knew such a tone from Sirius.

When Potter looked around and saw no one inquiring about it, he continued.

"I had kind of hoped we'd all be roommates, was looking forward to all the pranks we could pull!" James's eyes glimmered, Regulus found it hard to stay mad at him.

"Ah Potter, of course, the mischief bait. But how could I not?" Sirius was mirroring the look James was giving him, Regulus was alarmed to say the least.

"What say you, heir Black?" James was full on grinning, the difference evident in his dark-skin features.

"Oh but I shall not rise to the bait, mister Potter!" Sirius said, looking like he had already risen to the bait. Regulus let out a sigh. Those would be some long years to come.

Chapter 2: The sorting ceremony

The train had long stopped and the four boys were anxiously searching for where they'd misplaced their wands, scarves, pocket money and much more. They had gotten overly comfortable in their carriage and now they were paying the price of time. Thankfully, Peter accio’ed everything.

"My mum made me learn that spell because she always misplaces her glasses." He smiled, his cheeks hollowed in and Regulus thought he looked weird for it.

A tall man approached them, he was bearded and had long hair. He introduced himself as Hagrid, though Regulus forgot his name as soon as he had been told. He, Hagrid, instructed the first year students to get onto the boats that would send them to Hogwarts. He instinctively grabbed Sirius's hand.

"Help." Was all he muttered. Sirius seemed to have understood what that was all about and made sure he assisted Regulus on the boat himself. Regulus caught Potter staring at that interaction but he saw the other boy choosing not to speak on the matter. Regulus found himself secretly grateful.

The castle looked glorious, towering over them with its looming lights reflecting on the dark water. Regulus looked down, despite his inherent fear, to find the boat tearing apart the surface of the water, forming small circles beneath it. He smiled up at Sirius, who returned it while patting his brother on the head. That displeased Regulus, being treated like a child, but he said nothing.

The boat trip wasn't as long as he had expected. Maybe it was because Regulus was very concentrated on the outlook of the castle, its exterior seemed ancient but familiar and Regulus found himself wondering if he'd fit in. Truly, he supposed, that was his actual fear, the only thing that kept him on edge throughout this long trip. He never had trouble fitting in with the children Walburga had cherry-picked, but he wasn't getting along with them either. To be honest, Regulus had only learnt to coexist with his brother. And that scared him, because he had now realised not only that the other children in this boat, namely Potter and Pettigrew, weren't like Sirius at all, but also, he hadn't liked them anyways.

"Potter, come to Slytherin too!" Sirius had said, startling the others who hadn't spoken until that moment. There was a glimmer in his eyes, as always.

"I don't know Sirius, it's not like it's up to us!" he pointed out and it was pretty reasonable to stop the conversation there but Sirius Black is not one who stops at anything and if that means convincing Potter to become a Slytherin, so be it.

Sirius was talking well into them reaching a closed front entrance to what Regulus assumed was the Great Hall. There, his voice got cut short by presumably one of Hogwarts’s professors, an awfully thin witch with a pointy hat that could touch the ceiling back in Grimmauld Place and a nose to match it. Regulus made a mental note to drop her class as soon as NEWTs came to be. Regulus also noted that he noted a lot of things since coming here and he ought to bring a notebook of some sort next time. He smiled, pleased with himself with that thought and looked at Sirius, who was staring into the professor's eyes. Regulus wondered if being the heir came with a certain arrogance.

"As you all will surely find soon enough, the sorting ceremony is all about your comfortable stay here at Hogwarts. There are of course four houses, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Slytherin." Her voice was old, that was at least the first impression she gave to Regulus. She didn't seem more than fifty, but her worries must've grown her up.

"Now, your prefects will supply you with the password to your common rooms as well as the rules you all must follow for the years to come." She smiled at the pupils, her eyes twinkling. She had a wisdom that was evident.

She soon gestured to them to follow her and she opened the huge door with a swift swish of her wand. If Regulus had looked around at the rest of the students, he would've observed the open mouths of many of his peers. Regulus, however, seemed to be preoccupied by the majestic elegance of the Great Hall.

He had seen pictures, moving pictures of candles floating and huge tables filled with pupils, and feasts. He had heard of the ghosts, of the decor, the garlands hanging from the long windows and the stained glass shining a prism of all the colours of the rainbow, once the sun was out. He hadn't, however, considered the ceiling that was translucent. It almost made him dizzy. He was staring at it for quite some time, trying to figure out if it was an actual depiction of the sky with the adequate knowledge of astronomy that he possessed, but his peers seemed to have formed a line and he didn't want to stay behind.

Regulus tailed behind his brother, who in turn tailed behind Potter, and they soon formed a coherent line. Regulus tried to spot the professor from earlier, which he did only after she called the first student to what looked like an old wooden stool. She was now holding onto a ragged hat, Regulus wondered if everything in that school was old enough to fall apart.

"Amara Greenfield." She said, quickly looking into the crowd for Miss Greenfield, who shyly appeared and stood on the stool.

Nothing seemed to happen for a while, which had everyone in the line worried off their minds as to what the sorting ceremony was. In what seemed like ages, the hat seemed to- no, Regulus must be mistaken because the hat opened its...mouth, and yelled:

"Gryffindor!"

before loud loud cheers were heard from the Gryffindor table. Regulus rubbed his eyes but no one other than his fellow out-of-line peers seemed phased about this, so he just accepted it.

"Bob Asher."

The process seemed to be taking less for Bob Asher, who promptly got sorted into Ravenclaw and got his much deserved applause for it.

Slowly but surely the line was moving and Regulus found himself not looking sideways and seeing the very gate to the Hall, but the famous stained glass of the endless windows and the forbidden forest by extension. Lily Evans's name was the first he recognised, though he saw her getting sorted into Gryffindor very quickly and sighed, whether it was relief or not, he could not tell. Then that Snape kid got called. Regulus followed him with his eyes. He was a great judge of character and he hadn't liked the other boy one bit. Of course, he noted, he hadn't really liked anyone else either. He was pretty disappointed to have heard that he got sorted into Slytherin, almost immediately.

"N-no, I can't do this." he suddenly saw some sort of commotion in the front and Peter's head peeped from the line.

"It's alright, get behind me." Offered Sirius much to Regulus's dismay, he had lost contact with his brother. Of course, he wasn't exactly sure how that contact had benefited him in any way after they got into the Great Hall, but he was still more nervous than before.

"James Potter." McGonagall called and James strutted to the front like it was his birthright. Regulus still wondered if the first born had to be the most arrogant, by nature. He secretly thanked Merlin for having been born a few minutes later.

"Gryffindor!" The old hat had yelled before even touching a strand of his unkempt hair. Regulus was certain about the validity of the result.

"Sirius Black." He could see his brother fixing his posture before walking up to the stool. Thankfully, Peter was shorter than him so he could peep over his head and have a clear view of Sirius. He seemed nervous, Regulus thought, but maybe he was being overprotective. The entire Hall grew quiet, you could hear a pin drop as McGonagall placed the hat on his head. He saw the hat opening its mouth, it was an unnerving sight to see, but he couldn't make out any words. This lasted forever, the hat and Sirius seemed to be in some sort of disagreement, how typical, Regulus found himself thinking.

Even the teachers looked nervous now, unsure of how to proceed. It shouldn't be that difficult, Regulus thought, it wasn't normal to last that long up there. He didn't know anything about the ceremony but of that he was certain, something wasn't going well. Finally, the hat opened its mouth wide:

"Gryffindor!"

Silence. Not a single cheer or clap or exclamation was made in favour of Sirius Black. Neither side knew what to do with themselves really. All eyes seemed to be on Sirius, who hadn't gotten off the stool yet. He seemed...out of it. Like a bad dream had just finished playing over his head and now he couldn't distinguish the real from the fake.

Sirius turned to face his brother in one last hope of aid coming his way. Regulus didn't know why, but the moment Sirius's eyes laid on his, he looked to his shoes. He couldn't face him, that much was certain. It seemed that Regulus was out of mental notes to take. He wasn't certain on how to proceed.

"Peter Pettigrew."

Ah, the show must go on. Regulus didn't care where Peter got sorted, so he wasn't exactly looking at him, but he couldn't look at Sirius either. Somehow, he believed that if he looked at the Gryffindor table, he'd become one too! That was prevalent enough in his mind that he just accepted it as a fact. Of course, if both were Gryffindor, maybe it would be easier for mother to accept it. Really, Regulus wasn't sure how that would work out between his brother and mother. Walburga sure would be notified within the next hour, if not by Sirius himself (why would he tell on himself, then again he couldn't hide it forever), then by Narcissa, or even Bellatrix.

"Gryffindor!" the hat yelled, Regulus thought this was a big farse. The last three people that got sorted in front of his very eyes were all Gryffindors, one of them the heir to the house of Black. That couldn't be a good sign.

"Regulus Black."

Right, he thought. He tried to concentrate on his legs moving in front of the other, not looking up until he reached the stool. He did look the professor in the eyes, trying to plead out a way to get into Slytherin without having to be assumed one by an old ragged hat. She did nothing but smile at him as she motioned to the stool.

Right, he thought, as he sat on the stool. It was cold, he noted. He looked around, still avoiding Sirius. He realised it would be the first and last time he would look at the Great Hall from this view.

'Oh another Black.'

When had the hat been placed on his head?

'Just now, worry not.'

It answered questions?!

'It?! I shall take great offence at this! Oh well anyways, let's see.'

"Sorry" he mumbled but the hat didn't seem to notice.

'Brain much different than your brother's you've got. So practical and...pessimistic, aren't you? Oh and you've got such a great memory, but also a heart of gold and the generosity others lack. You'd do great in Ravenclaw-'

'Please put me in Slytherin.' he asked, closing his eyes tightly and clenching his fists. He used all the concentration in him to ask that of the hat.

'I'm afraid I do not do orders, Mister Black. In Ravenclaw you'll have a future most bright, you'll be able to protect everyone you love and have the greatest power a wizard can possess.'

'Please put me in Slytherin!' he asked, more urgently this time, the little voice in his head growing tired. He only wished to make it all go away, somehow, he couldn't afford to make the situation worse.

'Well, if you must insist-'

"Slytherin!"

Regulus left out a sigh that he hoped wasn't too audible, he hadn't realised he was holding in his breath since his name had been called. The loud cheers did sound through the tables that time, only from the Slytherins though. Regulus sat next to a kid who he didn't recognise, he didn't care at that time to pinpoint him to what McGonagall had called him. He was finally brave enough to look into his brother's eyes, who was looking crestfallen. He must know what happens to blood traitors then. Regulus hated himself for that thought.

×××××××××××××××××

"Jigglypuff" the password to the Slytherin common room caused the serpent on the door to move around the casing. It made a satisfying clicking sound and the door opened wide in front of them, revealing the intricacies of the Slytherin common room.

"You ought not to tell anyone from any other house the password, or bring students from other houses in here. The passwords change every fortnight, you will come to us in two weeks from now, Saturday 16th." Said a boy who was much taller than Regulus, he recognised him as Lucious Malfoy, he often came by Grimmauld Place.

The common room was ornate with all sorts of silver banners of great witches and wizards. The room also spotted some leather and velvet couches and sofas that stood far away from one another, a fireplace with green-lit flames and a thick carpet that possessed some of the most intricate details Regulus had ever seen.

There was a general green tint looming over the common room and he found himself looking upwards for any sign of what was causing it. He was unpleasantly surprised to find an entire lake on top of the room, only separated from the rest of the students by a thin veil that resembled glass. It made Regulus sick to his stomach, to think that he was so close to such a big body of water.

The dormitory was just as gloomy, if even darker. Four beds, all double in size, were forming a horizontal line, leaving the windows behind them. There was another door beyond the entrance and Regulus assumed it to be the bathroom. He quickly spotted the suitcase embellished with a silver lining and a leather decor and dropped straight to the bed next to his stuff. He didn't bother trying to figure out how they had gotten here in such short notice. He didn't bother even registering the names of his roommates, he simply could not. He closed his eyes and fell asleep at once.

Chapter 3: First Year: Encounter

"Oi wakie wakie!" a rough voice, still as high pitched as you'd expect from your common eleven year old, was echoing through the small dormitory. Regulus didn't even have the power to tell him to shut up, though he wished he did.

"Ah!" A horrified screech was heard, Regulus recognised it to be that of Severus Snape. He still couldn't believe he was roommates with him.

"Stop going through my stuff, I beg of you." A calmer voice, more aristocratic, Regulus thought, urged the other boy to stop tramping over everyone's possessions.

Truth was, Regulus hadn't bothered even looking at his roommates, opting to go straight to bed. He was quick and silent, both traits learnt from years spent in Grimmauld Place, so he hadn't been bothered by the rest of the boys. A silencing spell on his curtains and he had the rest of the night in his hands, all to himself. He regretted spending it crying, that morning, when he woke up with red puffy eyes that sting.

He had identified two of his three roommates without having to do the fake pleasantries that came with introducing yourself. Evan Rosier, a blonde boy that tended to follow him and Sirius around when he got invited over. Sirius, always the snob, wouldn't allow him to play with his figurines, which most of the time resulted in Evan crying to his mother about it.

The other roommate was none other than Severus Snape. Regulus was willing to look past his initial judgement of character on the preface of being more mature and, of course, for the fact that they were now sharing a room.

"Sleeping beauty's bedtime is over, get on up now." He heard the voice of a boy he didn't seem to recognise from anywhere. He groaned and made a mental note to search for silencing charms that don't wear off that easily.

He removed the privacy of the curtains to be met with a tall boy who had his hands on his hips like an old maiden and a scolding look to match it.

"We're gonna miss the first period if you continue-" he cut his speech on consistency short once he caught sight of Regulus. "You look like shit mate." Regulus let out a disheartened laugh.

"Yes, I am well aware, but thanks for the discretion and eloquence of your words. Now, I'll use the loo, if you don't mind." He half smiled at the other boy and headed towards the door he had observed last night.

There, Regulus caught a glimpse of himself as he was met with a mirror first. He did look like shit, what with his swollen eyes and red lips. He looked a tad pale too, Regulus wasn't sure how to fix that so he just threw some lukewarm water on his face and resumed putting his, now Slytherin, robes on.

"There he is, the star of the show, Regulus Black." Regulus wasn't sure what the unknown boy's problem was, so he chose to ignore him. That was a one-sided approach however.

"I'm Barty Crouch Jr, please refer to me as Barty and Barty alone." Barty stuck out a hand to let Regulus know he was friendly. His hand gesture was accepted, Regulus was surprised by how firm the handshake was, as well as the fact that Barty's palms were rough.

"Well, you seem to already know who I am." Regulus said while checking his wristwatch, it was 7:30.

"Yes, father warned me that the brothers Black would be at Hogwarts this year. Told me to stay away from the lot of you." His remark held no snark in it, despite its context. Barty seemed to read Regulus like an open book though, and he soon smiled at him, a smile most contagious. "Can't wait to disappoint him further!"

Regulus wondered two things at that moment:

Why would the Minister of Magic not want his only child to be associated with his family?
Did Sirius think the same way as Barty?

He decided to shake that last thought away, it belonged to the night, when he'd actually find a solution for it. For now, he had to not get lost in his thoughts and actually reply something.

"How come you're in Slytherin?" Regulus was curious as to how the sorting ceremony worked for the rest. He assumed it to be almost the same for everyone.

"Dunno, but I'm sure I disappointed a bunch of people. Not a far cry from what your brother did." He was smirking, trying to get a reaction from Regulus. He saw the two others looking in his direction as well, eager for easy gossip. Regulus wasn't in the mood to entertain.

"Why don't you go ask him? He's the one that got himself sorted into the wrong House." Now, Regulus knew it wasn't fair to call it that. He also knew it wasn't unfair either, the situation at hand couldn't be simply watered down to anything other than personal beliefs, there was not one universally agreed opinion.

The other boys seemed satisfied with that explanation and left him to his own after that. Regulus didn't mind, however, he couldn't seem to pinpoint the character of Barty Crouch, which made him become curious and nosy.

×××××××××××××××××

"Charms. A most essential bit of magic which alters the object at hand without changing its inherent nature." A very short professor spoke out, magically handing out feathers to the class. "Today we will learn the charm of levitation..."

Regulus couldn't bother with the rest of the speech. He was sharing most of his classes with the Ravenclaws, who were scribbling away everything professor Flitwick (Regulus thought that was a most unfortunate name for a Charms professor) had to say. He caught some of the Slytherins peeping over some shoulders to look at the professor, or to sneak a peek at the Ravenclaw's notes.

He was looking around the tiny amphitheatre-like structured room for quite some time until he spotted Barty, lazily levitating the feather without even being instructed to do so. Flitwick hadn't spotted him yet, Regulus was sure he'd make an awfully cheerful fuss if he had. He looked around some more, the absence of his brother very palpable. He supposed he had realised that he wouldn't get the chance to sleep anywhere near him for the duration of his stay at Hogwarts, but he had missed the notion that classes weren't to be shared with him either.

"Oi, class is over. What are you doing, sulking in the corner?" Regulus heard the same dragged out voice, immediately pinning it to Barty.

"Am not in a corner, it is shaped like an amphitheatre, there are no corners." He pointed out the inaccuracy in his words, which earned a scoff from the other.

"Alright mister know-it-all. We've got transfiguration and potions still, so you can't just spend all your day in the, uhm, so-called amphitheatre!" Barty exclaimed, and helped Regulus off his seat. Regulus didn't like being treated like he was someone less than, like he was weak, but he still accepted the same rough hands that he shook an hour ago and got up.

"Thank you." Was all he muttered.

The two Slytherins made their way to the ground floor near the courtyard. The sun was shining bright despite the disorderly weather of Britain that Regulus hated since moving to London. There were voices and laughter penetrating the thick brick walls, but Regulus was much too preoccupied by Crouch, who was talking about some sort of mishap in the Ministry. He found it very difficult to look at his roommate, so he looked at his shoes instead.

"Yeah and father wouldn't let me, can you believe? I mean, what are they even hiding in there?" Crouch stopped talking, Regulus couldn't understand why until he looked up.

Sirius.

He had thought about how his mother would react, he had thought about his brother's punishments, he had thought about the time his brother would spend at the Gryffindor common room, or the people he would meet. He hadn't thought, however, about Sirius and him meeting. About Sirius wanting to speak to him or what he would say in return.

"Wanted to talk to you. I got a hold of the curriculum for Slytherin and figured you would be around here." Sirius didn't look half bad, Regulus noted. He was well rested, no sign of puffy eyes or undereye bags. It made him mad.

"I don't believe we have anything to discuss, do we now?" He replied coldly, not looking at his brother. He'd talk, but he needed time. Time to orchestrate what he'd say, time to plan ahead, the jumble in a random corridor was out of discussion.

"Reg come on!" Sirius pleaded, it made his insides turn.

"It's Regulus." That earned another scoff from Barty, who seemed to be enjoying this.

"Come on, he's your brother!" The voice this time came from none other than Potter. Regulus got the urge to punch someone for the first time in his life.

"Never stated otherwise. I'll write." Regulus made way to leave, only to find his arm rudely snatched by Potter, at which point, he was really debating hexing him.

Regulus was kind enough to let him speak before he snatched his arm away. The Gryffindor seemed to be much more cruel than that. He simply stared down at Regulus, his big brown eyes had him weak, like his knees would give out any minute. Potter didn't make an attempt to open his mouth, merely believing that his solemn stare would earn a reaction out of the younger Black. Regulus couldn't bear to look at him, but every time he'd try to look away he'd get pulled right back into that unbearable stare.

"Come on Regulus, I don't like spazzy Gryffindors." Barty had suddenly said, snatching Regulus on his own accord and pulling him out of the stare. Regulus was still looking far off until Barty spoke again.

"Not your fault your brother is a Gryffindor. Come on, transfiguration." He reminded him, earning a light smile from Regulus.

"Didn't manage to take any notes in Charms." He pointed out while entering the well lit classroom, it was one of those classrooms that were lucky enough to be on the east side of the castle.

"You can copy mine. If you can make out the letters, that is!" he smirked and Regulus felt all weird about it. Of course, he has felt all weird since arriving here.

He simply didn't understand what his position in all this should be. There was no way to back up his brother but he couldn't just avoid the unjust punishment of Sirius. He could only try to find out a way to coerce his mother to forgive Sirius, but he hadn't found out how yet.

The rest of the classes went swimmingly, and by the time dinner was done and they'd gone to their respective dorms, Regulus had found himself once more letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

“Want to talk about it?” Barty had respected his privacy on family issues without Regulus having to ask, but the latter wasn't naive enough to think he wouldn't try to get some gossip out of him. Regulus wondered if that was unjust to assume on Barty's behalf, since he'd stood so close to him. He opted not to think about how careful he was being, or how biassed.

“No. Nothing to talk about, is there?” he replied, looking up to see where Barty was standing on this. The other boys had gone to sleep now, so this was just between the two of them.

“Eh, pretty much no, unless you account for the howler your mother sent your brother's way.” That earned a reaction out of Regulus, whose eyes got as wide as an owl. He approached Barty rapidly and grabbed him by his shoulders.

“When? What did it say?” Regulus already knew when, but he needed confirmation.

“That's what happens when you don't come for lunch.” Barty shrugged. “It said something about destroying the family's values and making a fool of himself. Same sort of crap my father tells me.” Barty took off his shirt, Regulus’s eyes followed him.

“I see.” He couldn't bring himself to say anything further. It was of no use after all. He was certain of one thing though: He'd try his hardest to get Sirius out of trouble. For the first time, he'd be the one to protect his brother.

Chapter 4: First Year: Basilisk

Notes:

Spoiler for what's hidden in the Chamber of Secrets, though I do believe that if you're in the marauders fandom you already know.

Regulus had woken up with a horrible headache that day. He figured it wasn't just because of the usual nagging he had to put up with, which was Barty's doing. It was probably because of letter after letter that got sent his way after mother dearest became incapable of contacting Sirius. He had supposed that would happen, his brother wasn't known for his patience, but he had not calculated that Walburga would ever cop out in bothering him over it. He hadn't even allowed himself to open them yet, opted instead to take a scorching hot shower and just attend his usual classes.

×××××××××××××××××

"You're awfully quiet today, mister Black." Said Barty, who was playing with the beans on his plate. He seemed bored, Regulus had regarded him as too intelligent to get thrilled by the idea of making an antidote to common poisons.

"Is that simply an observation or do you want something from me?" Regulus inquired, pushing the plate of mashed potatoes away from him. He was always a picky eater. He paid no mind to his food touching, he thought it was very immature to consider that a problem. However, his taste buds were extremely sensitive, one extra grain of salt and leave it to him not to touch the plate again.

"Yeah, your mum." Barty didn't continue the sentence and Regulus wondered if he had misheard.

"Is that a question?"

"Yes, it's a question. What's going on in your family? I mean, everyone knows the Blacks are a bit more traditional, but what does that mean, y'know?" He asked eagerly and Regulus let out an involuntary sigh.

"Stop bothering him Crouch! Family business is none of yours, is that perfectly clear?" Narcissa, Regulus's favourite cousin, had apparently eavesdropped in their conversation. Regulus nodded thankfully in her way, which was reciprocated, and then turned to look at his friend, who had bowed his head in embarrassment.

Regulus's eyes trailed off, having nothing better to do than observe his surroundings for the 'nth time. He wasn't looking for something in particular, seemingly enjoying the controlled chaos caused by his peers. It was Monday, and the owls had come flying in during breakfast. He had quickly glanced at Sirius, back then, who hadn't received something. His eyes seemed to be doing the same again, looking directly into his brother's, without Regulus realising. Only when Sirius had stood up and was coming his way, did he snap out of his haze.

"Finally ready to talk?" He was nervous, openly fidgeting with his silver rings. He had come alone and Regulus found himself wondering if the three other Gryffindors he was regularly found with had abandoned him.

"I said I'll write." He reminded, and stood up himself, clearly uncomfortable by the situation at hand. Regulus hadn't taken in the fact that almost the entire Slytherin table had stopped talking. He had, however, taken in the intense stare of one James Potter, whose eyes could burn a hole in his much expensive robes.

Truth was, Regulus was snobbing his brother for about a month now. He hadn't found the courage within himself to face him and with all the classes and the social cues he had to follow, he didn't have time to even consider thinking about his plan. He had of course considered the possibility of pleading to his mother, he was always the most logical and the most obedient, so mother ought to listen to him.

"Reg I don't want to fight. Let's just-"

"It's Regulus, actually-"

"-discuss like civilised people-"

"-I don't think I can be bothered behaving myself around a Gryffindor."

"-and you ought to understand-" Sirius stopped dead in his tracks as the well rehearsed words of his brother echoed all too well. A Gryffindor.

Regulus seemed to have realised the effect he had on his brother and took advantage of the spare time to pick up his half finished essay on the Devil's Snare. When he was finished, he made way to leave, only after he had mouthed the notorious phrase that was sure to haunt Sirius.

I'll write.

×××××××××××××××××

The next few weeks went by surprisingly peacefully. The letters mother could send seemed to run out and so did Sirius's patience with his brother. Regulus counted himself lucky to finally have time to focus on studying. Or planning. Or conversing with his Slytherin peers, some of whom could be found on Barty's bed telling scary stories.

"There is this myth going around, one that might even be...true!" said Evan, holding his wand, which was all lightened up below his chin. With no other light source in the room it truly illuminated his worst features.

"Oh do tell! Didn't have Evan for a storyweaver!" Barty gave a light punch to Evan, which made the other boy smile.

"Well, my father told me about it, when I was a kid. I didn't want to come to Hogwarts afterwards, but then I reconsidered. You know we would be regarded as heroes if we caught this beast?" He was full on grinning now, it made the other boys' skin tickle with excitement.

"So so, legend has it that Salazar Slytherin himself didn't fancy leaving the school. But, alas, he was kicked out by the other founders." Evan shrugged. "So, he left behind a curse, something to follow the legacy of Hogwarts for centuries, millennia even! That thing, that curse, that beast-" he was waving his hands around to appear bigger, casting shadows all over the dark dorm. "-was nothing other than a huge Basilisk! An entire royal Basilisk, waiting to kill anyone that crosses it."

"Oh you don't expect us to go mad over this story, do you?" said Severus, who promptly began faking his yawn, soon to find himself actually yawning.

"B-but, it has already killed! AND, and it's somewhere in the castle!" Evan tried making a case for the royal Basilisk's scary effect but to no avail. The other boys seemed too tired to even consider what Rosier was saying.

"Who has it killed?" Regulus asked, elegantly masking his yawn behind the stretched out sleeve of his robe.

"Moaning Myrtle! The ghost in the second floor girl's lavatory!" Evan exclaimed, surely waiting for some sort of reaction this time.

"I've read, in Hogwarts: A History, that only the heir of Slytherin could possibly control a Basilisk."

"Cheers Barty, didn't know you took my advice to read that book." said Regulus, who patted the former on the back. He was nagging the other boy for days to give it the slightest chance, so he felt rightfully justified just about now.

"We'll interrogate Moaning Myrtle in the morning." intervened Severus, who was currently fighting over a second yawn. "And, we'll figure out what our Evan here was doing in the second floor girls bathroom." He tucked himself into bed, ignoring how Rosier had stuck out his tongue in his general direction.

×××××××××××××××××

The boys did as promised. They woke up at the crack of dawn to interrogate a whiny ghost girl. Regulus was sure this plan was anything but bulletproof. It couldn't backfire, that much was certain, but it wouldn't lead them to the Slytherin heir, or a Basilisk, he was sure of it.

They tiptoed around, making sure not to wake up the NEWT students who had fallen asleep on their parchment in the public eye of the common room. They continued like this for a while before reaching the stairs. Another good thing about being a Slytherin is that you don't get to interact with the bonkers stair system of Hogwarts. Regulus considered an animated map of the castle would help them greatly in that moment, seeing that Rosier was drifting off to the opposite side of their direction.

"Come here you buffoon!" half-yelled, half-whispered Severus, who Regulus thought was always on the verge of hexing someone.

Though Regulus assumed that Severus and Barty shared some similar traits, in their case it was both wanting to hex everyone who dared crossing paths with them, they at the same time couldn't be more opposites. Barty had a sadistic approach to things, causing pain seemed to be a way to get pleasure. Of course he would never hurt his friends, he seemingly only had fantasies of torturing his own father. Regulus couldn't explain that fascination but then again, he didn't mind, it wasn't his business to get involved.

Severus, however, was sly. He was almost a perfect Slytherin, the archetype his mother had described to both brothers as what they should aspire to be. Regulus, faced with the ideal son for Walburga, found himself wishing to possess as few similar traits as possible with him. He made a note to ask Sirius if he feels the same way about him.

As Rosier found his way to the rest, their mission resumed. The long corridors spread in front of them, gargoyles and portraits of long dead wizards and witches stood as a reminder to the castle's great past. Regulus looked up, he found the most extraordinary of details to be found in the ceilings of the many places he's been. Last time, he had spotted that the Great Hall bore no actual ceiling, but an accurate representation of the starry night. This time, however, he found a green snake that extended from the entrance they had just entered through, to the far end of the lengthy corridor. He kept quiet, not finding usage in his words.

They finally reached it, the girl's bathroom. Everyone glanced at each other, suddenly lacking the confidence to go through with it. There was a deafening silence that prevailed, and Regulus found himself unsure of what to do with his limbs, so he opted to play with his favourite silver ring. It was a gift from Sirius when he had sneaked out into a nearby French muggle city. He fondly remembered how he had convinced mother to keep it, only because it was engraved with a small B, seemingly standing for Black.

"Oh! Oh what do we have here! Four boys, four handsome boys, came to visit lonely Myrtle? I must be dreaming!" A very whiny voice bounced off the walls, it made Regulus's hair stand straight.

It was utterly unnerving, the sight of such a young ghost. She was rather unattractive, Regulus noted, with evident pimples full of pus all over her face and lank hair that covered her forehead and hollow cheeks.

"Hello, I am Regulus, these are Barty, Severus and Evan. We've come to ask some questions." Regulus stepped into the bathroom first, suddenly aware of the small flooding in it. He cast a quick drying spell and approached Myrtle, whose eyes seemed to be welling up.

"Oh so you haven't come here to ask me out?! Well that is preposterous, that is! What kind of men are you?" She yelled and started crying in a horribly screechy way, Regulus had to concentrate on his thoughts manually in order not to mess up.

"Well, if you answer our questions, we might ask you out!" Said Evan, earning snarky looks from everyone.

"Oh well, I wouldn't mind being asked out by you, but I'm more into boys with black hair, if you know what I mean!" she smiled down at Barty, who had to be reminded by a shift elbow to the sides from Severus that he had to play along, and not scoff at her.

"Alright then, I'll go on a date with you. Now, how did you die?" He was bland and quick, no one blamed him for it.

“Ah! That is a story I can't speak of!” She hid behind some stall, wailing her eyes out. Regulus suddenly came to the realisation of how this bathroom flooded in the first place.

“Was the boy that killed you also someone with dark hair like mine?” Regulus asked. His question had made Myrtle peep from the stall towards Regulus and, suddenly, with great velocity, she came towards him, causing the boy to almost fall.

“Well I'm afraid I don't know. All I remember is some girls making fun of me, then getting out to wash my face and now, I'm dead.”

“Can't believe we're missing breakfast for this sob story.” said Severus, who made the motion to leave.

“Ah but, but there was a boy, a boy who looked quite like you, Regulus. I had a little thing for him, but he never reciprocated.” she puffed out her cheeks and resumed her crying into one of the stalls.

“Well that was a load of nothing. She didn't even tell us what the Basilisk looked like!” complained Rosier, who was more upset about his wet socks than Myrtle’s murder.

“We'll see gentlemen, for now, potions.” Regulus took the responsibility of reminding the group of their curriculum, he was assuming that position more and more lately and he ought to wonder if he'd make a good professor.

Chapter 5: First Year: Of Quidditch and Liquor

Notes:

CW for mentions of child abuse. There will be scars and bruises.

Regulus was running. He never liked eating without sitting first, he considered it to be animal behaviour. But now, he had his mouth full of beef stew and, while taking small bites out of the white piece of bread in his hands, cloak blowing through with the velocity of his footing, he found himself unable to simply sit down. He didn't simply have time to allocate anywhere else but running toward the quidditch stands.

Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

It was only the first match of the year, but it was a very important one. He had heard a lot of sneers and smarty remarks, as well as bets being made on Gryffindor winning. Regulus didn't want to think about it, the House pride he bore was evident. He also didn't want to think about his brother, who wouldn't be cheering for the same team as him. He made a scoffing sound, it would be the first time Sirius and him weren't on the same team.

He had always loved Quidditch. He even had a couple of decent Holyhead Harpies posters in his room back in Grimmauld Place, despite his mother's detest in anything that would make her son look unkempt in any sort of way. He dreamt of becoming a seeker, he always thought that all other positions were useless without one. At the end of the day, it's the seeker who soars through with a grossing amount of speed, it's the seeker that with a whooshing through the crowd they catch the indomitable snitch.

He was there now, the stands already filled with the two primary colours of the game, red and green. It was rather chilly, Regulus cursed himself for not bringing his green scarf along, but he had been busy with Slughorn. It was, after all, almost Halloween, so the weather was acting up more than the British countryside was used to. The cold air pinched Regulus's cheeks and made them a nice shade of terra cotta.

He finally spotted Barty and Evan, who were already cheering loudly at the slightest inkling that the Slytherin team was about to exit the shared locker room.

"You made it!" said Barty, who didn't seem to be bothered by the frosty wind one bit. "Here, there, there, better prevent you from catching a common cold." He said while carefully wrapping his own green scarf around Regulus's exposed neck and tucking the loose ends into his robes. Regulus immediately felt the warmth setting in and mentally thanked the other boy.

"Yeah, Slughorn wanted to tell me his usual, have they entered the field yet?" He asked, getting on his toes to look further down the stands. He was aware he was shorter than most of the kids his age, but he didn't mind. He also knew he looked more like a child than anyone else, his baby fat hadn't left him, despite him being quite slim. He had made this horrifying revelation when, one night, while in the common room, Lucious Malfoy had called him the Slytherin Prince.

"Oh and I suppose you know all about dark magic, don't you, Malfoy." Had said Barty, who had taken a sudden interest in what was hidden in the restricted section of the library.

"I come by. But you should see the collections the Blacks have on matters as such. Isn't that right, Reg?" That earned a right eye roll from Regulus, who thought it pointless to avert his family members from calling him Reg.

"And, if you don't mind me revealing this, you haven't even married my cousin and you speak of our family, I trust you remember where you stand." He had been very sleep deprived, still thinking of ways to integrate Sirius into his family once more. So he was in no position to start a fight with Lucious Malfoy, who he considered a right git. ”Also, it's Regulus.”

"Oh is that so? Well, what if we called you our little Slytherin Prince, since you're so demanding on names? With how big your eyes are, how pale your complexion and how red your lips, you look right off a fairytale, isn't that right?" He looked around, earning a cheerful applause. Regulus didn't know if he should take it as a compliment or as an insult, so he just took it as nothing and went to bed immediately after that confusing exchange.

"Oh they're coming to you fresh-fresh off the classroom these notorious Slytherins!" the loud and clear voice of Alexei Levski, a Hufflepuff Bulgarian boy who Regulus knew to be an excellent chaser. He was wanted by almost -if not all- the Quidditch teams, Regulus was secretly jealous.

"And here come the Gryffindors, only the courage of a lion could save them from the cunning minds of their competitors." That earned an uproar from both sides. "It is rather a chilly weather this one, the cold wind blows right into your eyes, let's hope the newest addition to the Gryffindor team won't be too bothered by that, heh, Natalie?" All eyes turned to look at a rather skinny red headed girl who was standing in the keeper position on the Gryffindor side.

"Now everyone, Madam Hooch will be releasing the quaffle very soon, I know what you're thinking, alas, the ball ends on the side of the Slytherins!" he yelled without a hint of excitement in his tone.

Regulus had stayed put. He had learnt all about the technicalities and strategies and tricks you could pull during a game. But now, seeing it from this close, he could feel the hot sweat in the back of his neck trickling down, he could feel his palms clamping. He was suddenly too hot to bear the scarf, so he made a better use for it: it was better off as a banner to cheer on his fellow Slytherins.

"Now the snitch has been released and, I don't know about you ladies and gentlemen, but Miss Black has got her eyes on the prize." Regulus and a hundred other students saw Narcissa's black ponytail swoop through the crowd and into the barricades. For a moment, everyone lost sight of her, including the Gryffindor seeker who was desperately looking around.

"Oh another exemplary goal from none other than Christopher Mann, Gryffindor is sixty points up and counting, how is that snitch quest going Black, oh, oh ladies and gentlemen!" Regulus was already up and cheering. Barty seemed to follow in his lead.

"Narcissa Black has caught the snitch! Slytherin wins!" he cheered on, a sudden wave of Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students came up to the occasion and yelled as loudly as their lungs could allow. Regulus was never a fan of loud noises, but he seemed to be making the most noise out of all his peers.

×××××××××××××××××

"Congrats on your win." Sirius had approached him right after the celebratory feast, it was just the two of them in a poorly lit corridor.

"Your win.” Regulus scoffed. ”I wish we could be on the same side, Sirius.” He sighed and put his Book of Potions on a nearby ledge.

"So that's why you're mad at me? Because I'm not in Slytherin?" he looked confused, as though he wasn't aware what he did was wrong. It was much more than being a Gryffindor, though Regulus didn't seem to understand what yet.

"No, I'm not mad at you. You've got it all wrong, all of it! Listen, I think I'll put out my thoughts better if I write them, can you please let me-"

"No, what, no I can't let you! You keep telling me the same thing for almost two months now! Oh come on, face it Reg, you're avoiding me." Regulus didn't know how to break it to Sirius that he was looking out for him. He realised it wouldn't be of much use, since Sirius is a prideful prick sometimes and doesn't let others fight his battles.

"Okay, here's what we'll do. You know I can't just tell you what's wrong, I need some preparation. So, our birthday is near, would you like to spend it together?" Regulus had a small smile on his face, he couldn't know if it was there because of his victory or because of his brother.

"Well, James and Pete had offered me a nice birthday party. And Lupin said he would postpone his homework for it…" Sirius must've realised the hurt look on his brother's face, because he was quick to intervene in what he had just said. "But, but I'm sure I can get away for a couple of hours!" he smiled and patted Regulus on the top of his head.

Thanks for making room in your busy schedule for your brother, is what Regulus actually wanted to say.

“That would be adequate on your behalf.” He replied formally, fixing his posture. ”Who's Pete and Lupin anyways?” He asked, a look of disapproval already forming in his delicate features.

“Oh, roommates! They're pretty okay, though Peter is a bit anxious all the time and Remus has the confidence of a house elf.” Regulus didn't know how to break it to his brother that he also had these defects in his personality, he said nothing in the end.

“Oi Regulus, party in the common room!” The familiar voice of Barty Crouch grounded him successfully and he let out a sigh of relief. At that point, he ought not to hold his breath that much but he couldn't help it in such situations. Anything that involved family was listed off as a high risk mission, and for a right reason.

“Got to go.” Said Regulus and patted his brother on the back. He didn't know if that was enough, but it was okay for now. For now.

×××××××××××××××××

Regulus had never been to a Slytherin house party before. It was loud, there was booze everywhere and some Quidditch team athletes were half naked. He didn't mind one bit.

The atmosphere was stuffy, to say the least. The windows were closed so as not to make a fuss for the rest of the castle, so the air wasn't fresh. It only smelled of firewhiskey, butterbeer and fags and Regulus found it difficult to breathe. Someone had sneaked in a magical record player, it soon produced music and even he started humming along soon.

Oh the three of us are jolly good fellows

Only looking after our pockets and kettles

There's no one who knows what's best

But our drinks and a party fest!

“Look at you, humming along to the Weird Sisters!” The voice came from none other than Barty, who sat next to Regulus, uninvited. He smelled of butterbeer and the young Black was thankful he hadn't tried smoking any cigars yet.

“Heh, my brother's favourite band. Though I don't know what he listens to now.” He looked at his socks, which didn't go unnoticed by Barty.

“You still miss him?” The music was too loud and the cheering was so constant, it made his blood boil. He had to get out.

“He's still my brother, isn't he?” His voice was small, he wasn't sure if Crouch had even heard him with all the commotion going on next to them. Some older Slytherin, the keeper, Regulus noted, had come awfully close to him and it made him want to puke at the smell of alcohol.

“Heard you're the Slytherin Prince by Malfoy over there.” He pointed at Lucious who was sweetly making eyes at him. “Why they call you that, heh?” He continued, his voice rasp from the yelling.

“Toss off.” Regulus stood up eager to leave, but the older boy had other plans.

“Don't know ‘bout that Reg.” He had caught the younger boy's arm and was squeezing, hard. “Want a favour. Only a little Prince would be able to fulfil it.” He pulled Regulus on his chest and deadlocked his arms behind his back. They were eye to eye and his mind got dizzy from how close their mouths were.

“Leave him alone before I hex you into Christmas, Avery.” Barty yelled, Regulus was sure he had heard the ruffling of his robes, he had gotten his wand out.

“Oh you can have your little boyfriend. But then, I want a turn.” With that, he pushed Regulus, who fell on the ground. The little Black didn't make a sound as he hit the cold marble, only stood up once more and left, making sure no one saw his face.

×××××××××××××××××

“Hey hey, what happened in there?”

“Barty, leave.” He thought pretending to be asleep would work, but it never worked on him.

“Well, you must admit, the Slytherin Prince is quite a title.” Barty scoffed and climbed on top of Regulus's bed. He took in his arm and pushed the robes out of the way, wanting to heal his scratched out elbow from the fall.

“Blimey! Reggie, what happened?” He had revealed numerous scars, some were clear silvery lines and others were harsher, deeper, red still.

“Reggie? That's a new one!” He left out a disheartened laugh and covered his arm with the robes again.

“Did your parents…”

“Yes. If you must know, the Blacks are traditional in more areas than not. They believe that a more reformatory punishment is, well, this.” He had pushed down the robes that covered his chest to reveal more silver linings.

Barty took a deep breath. He looked like he wanted to ask the difference between the small lines and the harsher ones, but he didn't want to question his friend, put him on the spot like that. So he opted to do the next best thing.

Regulus's eyes widened as he saw Barty taking off his white flannel and revealing bruises, some yellow, some blue and black. He gasped at the sight of a scar, not like the ones he had, but one that was spelt out.

Disobedient.

It was as red as blood and he recognised the writing almost immediately. He had seen it in his father's study once or twice.

“Father thinks the same. He has this big stick that he keeps under his office and uses it accordingly. Never been obedient.” He awkwardly scratched the back of his head and Regulus instinctively did the same.

There was no need to speak more on the matter. There was a mutual understanding, a compromise of their situation. The boys shared more experiences, the background being the loud voices of their classmates.

Regulus had told Barty all about Sirius, almost always stepping between him and his mother and taking the curse.

Barty shared what sort of expectations being the son of the Minister for Magic held.

The two boys slept in the same bed that night, legs tangled and scars not covered up. They had more to talk about, they would've plenty of time. For now, rest was crucial.

Chapter 6: First Year: Birthday Tea

"And that's what a bezoar is for, now I wouldn't want you to hold one on your person at all times, but just remember that it is in my second drawer, purple box." Professor Slughorn did the thing where he raised his eyebrows too high, and Regulus found it very comical almost every time.

"Oh, mister Black!" Two heads turned. "My boy, Regulus, I'll be needing you for a bit, mind if you stay behind?" The professor had asked so nicely, and who's Regulus if not a people pleaser.

"Actually, professor, my brother and I need to sort out some family business, if you don't mind?" Sirius had spoken out from behind him, it made Regulus jump on his place.

"Oh well, I was rather looking forward to it, but perhaps later..." He was deep in his thoughts and Regulus's curiosity had peaked. Alas, he couldn't postpone the ‘birthday tea’ for much longer.

The two brothers had now exited the classroom and, without saying a word, had started towards the backyard.

It was a rather sunny day, quite a big change from the chilly wind and the storming clouds. Regulus found himself unable to hold himself from closing his eyes while facing the sun, taking in all the rays. He smiled then, he was truly content. He finally had the chance to solve every single misunderstanding, or grudge, or anything of that sort with his brother, and then, they would go back to how it was before.

"Well? Should I start or will you?" Sirius snapped him out of his haze.

"Why the impatience?" He asked, a peaceful smile possessed his delicate features. It seemed that since him and Barty had taken turns unloading their burden, a great heavy boulder had been lifted off his chest.

"Okay then, I'll start. You're being weird, to say the least." His brother didn't seem to find the words for more than that, despite his rich vocabulary.

"Weird? Weird how? I'm being normal, I'm acting the way I'm supposed to act.” Regulus took a moment to think. ”Unlike you, who's going around, parading with those…blood traitors." He knew he was being harsh, but he figured the only way for Sirius to be integrated into the family once more was to show signs of remorse at least for his recent actions.

There was a deafening silence between them. The rustling of the autumn leaves was filling out the words for them. Regulus thought he was rather out of place, the mowed grass suddenly making him itch everywhere and the sun shining too hotly on his bare skin. The heavy boulder had returned to its owner, he shouldn't've been naive enough to think he had gotten rid of it at all.

"If you knew them you wouldn't be saying that." Was all the confirmation Regulus needed to realise that his brother not only did not feel remorse, he had no desire to even consider feeling it.

"Why are you throwing it all away? Our parents, they raised us, they raised you specifically, to be the heir." He hadn't spoken to Sirius about his duty before. It was well understood between them, or so he had thought. If Sirius can't rise to the occasion, who would ever ask Regulus of it?

"I am not throwing it away! I don't get to control where I'm sorted, do I now? I begged the hat to get me into Slytherin, I didn't speak to anyone the first week there. I kept a low profile, but it's difficult when you're a Black, isn't it?" Sirius was fidgeting again, and Regulus thought that if mother saw them, they would be served her wand in a silver platter.

"I can't make amends with any Slytherin because they hate any and every Gryffindor. And I can't not speak to James, or Peter, or even Lupin because they are my roommates, and I'd rather have a nice time at Hogwarts than our mother dearest's approval of my company." He looked like he was about to storm away, Regulus wouldn't put it past him, but he stayed still instead.

"I see." Regulus didn't find meaning in saying anything else. What he truly wanted to do was hug his brother, maybe tell him that he'll still be there for Sirius, a confirmation that he's not like their parents. Something deeply rooted in him had stopped him. Regulus found it extremely difficult to speak any coherent words of reassurance.

×××××××××××××××××

A couple of knocks on the professor's door should have done the trick. Unfortunately, it had been approximately half an hour since Regulus firstly stood in front of Slughorn's oaky door.

"Professor? Professor Slughorn?" He was about to give up until he heard the quick footing of someone walking towards him. Regulus knew he wasn't in trouble, but he felt eerily uneasy as the footsteps approached.

"Ah, Severus." A relieved sigh escaped his pursed lips. He hadn't spent a great deal talking to his other two roommates, he was never a chatty or outgoing person the same way Sirius was.

"Black." Was all he got back from the other boy. He wondered if he always talked as if there's a wand stuck up in his arse.

They stayed like that for a while, avoiding looking at one another and opting to stare at the floor instead. Regulus noticed the flowery patterns at this side of the castle for the first time, they extended over to the corridor until he couldn't spot them anymore. They looked like they were leading to Dumbledore’s office and he wondered briefly if that was a coincidence.

"Your brother..." Snape wanted to catch small talk, it seemed, but Regulus didn't feel comfortable the way he started it.

"What about him?" He abscemindly checked if his wand was still in place by pressing his arm firmly on the side of his robes.

"He's a right prick. Him and Potter put dungbombs in my cauldron and ruined my potion." He looked rather annoyed, but Regulus wasn't that great in judging characters, Sirius was.

"Hm, and how do you know it was them?" Regulus mentally went over every hex and curse. Unaware of this, Severus spoke again.

"Potter has been eyeing Lily since he got here." Snape said, like that would explain everything to Regulus.

He didn't find meaning in continuing this conversation, so he didn't ask any more questions. He wasn't exactly scared of Severus, but no one could deny there was something unsettling about him.

Slughorn never showed up in the end. Regulus had waited another hour, along with the silent company of Severus Snape, and the two boys had mutually agreed after a while to try again tomorrow. It was almost eight in the night, so he and Severus met with the other two for dinner.

"Barty, I don't even see why you're being like this!" Evan seemed to be in a heated discussion with Barty, Regulus paid no mind. These two seemed to always be fighting.

"Not my fault you suck almost as much as Mulciber in Herbology." He sneered and Regulus hid his smile diplomatically.

"Don't sweat it, Rosier. I'm sure you're better than our friend here in Defense Against the Dark Arts anyways." Regulus had to admit he loved throwing alcohol into an already dangerous fire.

Barty faked a gasp and put a flamboyant hand over his chest. "I consider myself a prodigy in potions!" He faked superiority, it takes one to know one after all.

"Oh puh-lease, just because you managed to brew the Cure for Boils quicker than us doesn't make you a prodigy!" Severus took the liberty in participating, slightly leaning forward. Regulus noted that he smelled awfully like plums -who he rightfully despised- and mint toothpaste, which irritated his nose annoyingly.

The boys continued bickering about who was best at potions, a conversation Regulus didn't think of highly, so he stayed out of it. There was a general fear he held of missing out by not talking as much as the others, but he tried to push it away. It would've been easy for Sirius to blend in, to effortlessly carry on the conversation. He simply didn't possess the same merits as his brother.

His eyes skipped over to Sirius once more, who was animatedly talking to Potter. Regulus cut through his pork with a little more force than necessary, which earned a glance from the others. He didn't notice. He made an effort into making out what they were saying, but Sirius and Potter weren't the only ones talking in the Great Hall.

The room was buzzing with chatter, the laughter of a particularly bizarre looking Hufflepuff now had Regulus's attention. His limbs were moving carelessly, as freely as he had stood up, probably trying to explain something to his friends, who made their best efforts to get him back on his seat. His grey eyes were dilated and his body didn't seem to belong to him. Regulus wondered if he was drunk, then deduced that he was.

"Oi, Earth to Regulus, can you hear me?" Barty was now waving his hands in front of him, which earned a scoff. So it's back to Regulus, then, he thought. For some unknown reason, he hadn't minded Reggie, at least coming from Barty. He knew that if Severus or even Rosier tried calling him that, they would get hexed into next Tuesday. Heh, funny how Barty says that too.

"Yes yes, alright, what do you want?" He didn't turn to look at him, his eyes still fixed on Potter.

"Sevie over here seeks revenge! Are you up to the task, Black?" Regulus briefly wondered if Barty just made cutesy nicknames for everyone then, not just him. He shooed away that thought quickly. There was an impossible grin distorting his pretty features when he turned to look, and it was a contagious one.

 

"Who are we avenging?" He took in how Barty's eyes gleamed with mischief, it made Regulus nauseous.

"Oh your dear brother and his blood traitor friend!" Barty said casually. Regulus's grin grew.

Since his conversation with Sirius, there was a mutual understanding from the both of them that they were not operating together any longer. Regulus had, as it was expected, cursed Sirius for making that boulder return on his chest, and there was, of course, that James Potter, who he didn't like one bit. So getting back on him seemed like a bright idea, maybe not in the long run, but definitely right now.

"Common room?"

Chapter 7: First Year: Grimmauld Place

Summary:

Little Regulus is a piece of shit. That's it, that's the post.

Notes:

CW for mention of Alzheimer's. I don't think it's even an accurate description, it's more like dementia, what I'm describing. Proceed with caution.

Christmas was just around the corner and the whole castle was in a jumble. Decorations, garlands, jingle bells-- the elves had taken care of it all. They were working day and night and they were practically everywhere in the castle.

This gave Regulus a sense of home and reminded him of Kreacher. He missed his elf, he harboured a relationship of trust, of mutual understanding of a situation that was much more similar than anyone from the outside world would think. Kreacher, being entrapped in a contract and a family who treated him less than (as all elves), Regulus who's weighted down by expectations and fake personalities, pleasantries and posh behaviours.

He would go back to Grimmauld place this Christmas, order of his mother. He figured that Sirius got the same invitation, he had hoped at least.

"Oh Reggie, time to wake up, breakfast." Barty woke him up violently by draping the curtains of his bed open, letting the light shine through Regulus' black curls and right into his eyes.

"Why must I wake up so early?” He never looked forward to his parents’ gifts, they always seemed to lack initiative. He did, however, appreciate the return of the nickname.

"You must pack regardless, right? You better start now, we've got a full schedule." He picked a piece of parchment that was casually lying on the floor and read through it.

"Potions, transfiguration, history of magic, quite the program we got here mate." He called out, but Regulus wasn't listening. He was too focused on casting spells, neatly packing his clothes as well as school supplies.

The dorm room was honestly kind of a mess, everything was laying around, from broken quills to burnt parchment, from half-ripped letters to emerald bedding. However, he couldn't afford being late. A Black is never late.

×××××××××××××××××

It was always rainy these days and Regulus had cursed Hogwarts for not letting him pass his hour reading alongside a warm cup of tea. He had found himself in a much worse predicament: Potions with the Gryffindors.

"Ah, another successful cure for boils, ten points to Gryffindor!" He scoffed, watching his brother and Potter's satisfied expressions.

"Surely cheated off of Evans." The sneering voice of Severus Snape whispered behind him, which earned a nod from Regulus.

He had yet to perfect his own successful batch of the potion that he had to admit, wasn't even that hard. Of course, he had more pressing matters at hand, school work could use getting a bit behind if at risk of his brother getting disowned. They hadn't reached that breaking point yet, but Regulus had a gut, always a reliable gut.

He never handed in a late assignment, or a lazily written one. He had gotten a handful of surprised remarks from Professor Binns at his interesting essay on the Goblin riots, it was more of a reaction that he could ever ask of him.

Still, even he had to admit that his practical abilities had been all over the place. And while others had successfully turned a rat into a shoe, his 'shoe' had run away before McGonagall could come to help.

"Ah Black, my boy, still got trouble?" Slughorn was now over his cauldron, inspecting closely. Regulus nodded. "Oh I think you forgot the dragon's tears my dear." He sweetly said and fetched some on his own.

"Told you." That sneering voice of Severus Snape.

Once the last tear had entered his cauldron, it turned a bright green, then red, then purple, then red again, redder red, a fiery red, and then exploded right onto their faces.

×××××××××××××××××

Regulus had to stay behind. Clean the mess, apologise to the professor. Of course he knew that most of the potion process was also screwed up by Barty, who had done a runner. Regulus couldn't blame him, if he had to listen to the professor rant about another one of his success stories, he might as well implode.

"And who was your most successful student, professor?" Regulus politely asked. He had his way with authority, learnt from tiptoeing around his own very house and respecting his elders before respecting himself.

"Oh, my boy Regulus, that's a story I will never share, I'm afraid. My best ever student is going by a different name now, I've been informed. I wonder if it's an anagram of his name...Nevermind," he seemed to be bothered by having shared that thought, "I think you're done here, you can go." He excused Regulus with a swift motion of his hand and he couldn't but obey.

×××××××××××××××××

Sirius was looking everywhere for his brother, Regulus could feel his piercing gaze. He wanted to avoid him to the best of his abilities, alas, it didn't take long for Sirius to find him. He looked bulkier than before, he was always eating what was offered, unlike Regulus who was a picky eater.

Regulus quickly jumped onto the train and headed straight for the last compartment. It was more spacious, without making room for unnecessary people. He knew Barty wouldn't join him, his father was adamant about being the one to pick him up. Barty had apparently thought that his father was being a tosser because of the hints at War. It hadn't been discussed back then though, and Regulus wasn't about to bring it any attention now either.

He patiently waited for Evan to join him, the blonde had recently found out that the Blacks and Rosiers were related (how could he have missed that detail when they were always together as kids), and he couldn't wait to discuss it with Regulus. He dreaded the day and the time that that would happen.

He also knew that Severus wouldn't join him, not that he wanted him to. He was too busy trying to get Lily Evans to like him back. Regulus didn't even know why he tried, the girl was a mudblood and not even that good looking. Severus had looked appalled when he had given him a piece of his mind.

"There you are!" Sirius. So he had followed.

"Sirius, go away. We'll talk at home." Regulus said, laconically.

"Reg, come on!" He took the liberty to sit next to him, it made Regulus itch closer to the window.

"Don't call me that." He was dismissed. He wondered if it was utterly pointless to fight the silly nicknames and just accept them at this point. He deduced he was too stubborn for that.

Sirius didn't seem to notice any bite in his brother's remark, and seemingly shifted in his seat. Regulus should've by now know better than to think he just shifted.

At once, three boys, not just three random boys, entered the same compartment. Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew sat down, saying their respective 'hi's' to him. Lupin even gave him his hand, to shake upon it.

"I'd rather marry Moaning Myrtle than shake your hand."

He had held feelings of genuine repulsion for the other boy, not only because he was a Gryffindor, not even because he was a half-blood, but because he had this pit in his stomach that screamed danger. And even though he had known of the depressing fact of Sirius being better at reading faces, his gut was never wrong.

"Oi your brother always talking like he has shite under his nose?" Lupin had taken the insult personally. Good, maybe they would leave him alone then.

"Hey Reg, wanna be more polite?" Sirius had elbowed him, Regulus wanted to hex everyone in this compartment and leave.

"I thought your genteel upbringing would show up, didn't you, Pete?" Potter. Potter can eat shit and die. Potter can take his smug look and fake charm to someone who will be stupid enough to buy into it.

Regulus didn't answer, neither did 'Pete'. Heavy silence filled the wagon and the barbaric sound of the machine running on the rails was more prominent than before. Regulus looked outside the window (when had he looked at Potter?) and observed the rain hitting the glass. He made up a race in his mind, trying to bet on a droplet to see if it'll reach the bottom faster. It didn't, but Regulus always bet on losing dogs.

"Will you come at mine's for Christmas? At least Christmas Eve?" Potter had spoken again, his voice filled in the silence, Regulus preferred the silence.

"Can't, we're visiting some old aunt in the suburbs." Said Lupin. "Though I doubt she'll know if I'm there or not, she's got Alzheimer's." He said sorrowfully.

"What's that?" Sirius had been the one to ask, Regulus didn't like the tone of his voice, so eager and curious for something so obviously muggle.

"Makes you forget things at first, like where you placed your glasses, or if you've turned off the heat. Then, you don't remember your name, the names of the people around you. You forget you've told stories like that before, so you repeat yourself constantly. Mum says it's only gonna get worse from here."

"That's horrible mate. Can't we just, I don't know, magically heal her?" Potter, ever the optimist, proposed.

"Nah, you know how mum's about magic, despises the lot of it. She will denounce her church before letting a wand go near her sister."

Regulus had deduced two things from this interaction:

> Lupin's mother was a muggle.

> His biggest fear was no longer large bodies of water, it was losing his mind.

"What's a church?"

×××××××××××××××××

The train ride continued like that, Regulus entrapped in a banter between Lupin and his brother about the most efficient way to cast the levitating charm, Peter buying everything from the trolley witch and Potter. Insufferable Potter. Who didn't pry his eyes off of him, but didn't even have the courage to say anything. Regulus found it ironic, the brave Gryffindor couldn't even approach him.

Kreacher picked them up from the station and guided them to a fireplace -floo network- that was connected right to their living room in Grimmauld Place.

The old house hadn't changed a lot. Maybe not at all, except for some new vases and someone's shoes by the door. The two brothers took off their own, handed their cloaks and wands to Kreacher and cautiously entered.

“Regulus. Sirius.” There was something off in the way their mother was addressing them. “Dinner will be ready in a few moments. Go clean yourselves so you can be presentable for our guests.” She left after that. Regulus and Sirius looked at each other and went to their respective bathrooms.

There was nothing more cathartic than a hot shower after a long trip. Finally, not having to share a bathtub with three other boys, Regulus felt comfortable enough filling the tub and jumping right in.

He closed his eyes and let the hot water get absorbed by his skin. He still had a few bruises from play-fighting with Barty. He also noted that his fingers were rougher from the quills, he had an awful tension between himself and any sort of parchment. No, Regulus always pressed with utmost force on it, making the letters stick out from the other end.

He looked around. The bathroom was exactly how he had left it, the toothpaste and toothbrush in the same goblet, the drawers seemed unopened by the dust on their handles. This house looked like it was dead the whole time he and Sirius were out at Hogwarts. And maybe it was.

He took a deep dive into the scorching water, his nose overly irritated from the heat. He liked the way his hair flew around while underwater. Back in France they lived near the sea, they visited every summer. He and Sirius would make a contest out of who could hold his breath for longer. Sirius always won.

A knock interrupted his inner monologue, making him realise he had spent too long underwater. His mind was foggy and he was lightheaded, but his worries lied as to whether he had taken too long.

“Can I come in?” Sirius.

“Just a second.” Regulus dried his hair as quickly as possible and put a towel over himself. “Come in!”

The sight of Sirius was one to behold. He was no longer wearing his Gryffindor robes but a lowly t-shirt and ripped jeans. His hair had also grown longer, he obviously had no intent on cutting or trimming it. He was back at wearing his silver rings (why wasn't he wearing them at Hogwarts?) but all together, making them cling with one another.

“Mother says dinner's ready.” He was also cutting back vowels, definitely an adopted behaviour from Lupin.

“Mhm, I'll get dressed and I'll be right there.” Regulus didn't understand why his brother bothered telling him this in person.

“D’you like it?” Sirius extended his arms, showing off.

“No.” He did like it, but mother would die if she saw him like that. Or Sirius would die, survival of the fittest.

Chapter 8: First Year: Mirror

Summary:

Walburga is being the usual self in this chapter. Regulus is onto something that will backfire so fast and so violently. Sirius, save him, please.

Notes:

CW for so so so much blood and torture and motherly abuse. Proceed with caution.

Grimmauld place isn't haunted, despite popular belief. It actually has a beautiful garden full of deep red roses, a rooftop with a telescope pointing right at Orion, twisted stairs embellished with a golden touch on their bannister, portraits of witches and wizards with characteristics most would find fascinatingly handsome and yet, it had blood. Blood of none other than Sirius Black who was being meticulously tortured by his mother. He was screaming and Regulus couldn't help but feel relieved that he didn't get sorted into the wrong house.

He knew it was a selfish and numbing thought. It didn't simply excuse what was going on downstairs, the anguish and the pain. Sirius's blood was supposed to be pure, yet Regulus was sure his mother wasn't treating it as such. He hated not to be brave enough to save his brother, the way Sirius had done so many times for him.

Distraught, angry, his head felt like a thousand needles pierced him through and through from the constant screaming, he felt nauseous even from the very mental picture of his brother in such state.

This went on for a couple of hours, Sirius on the floor, yelling for her to stop, to have mercy, yelling his apologies, dearest apologies. Walburga stone faced, stone cold, unbothered, like she would've had more empathy for a measly ant before her own firstborn son.

 

×××××××××××××××××

The way the evening had ensued wasn't one they were prepared for. Regulus had gotten out of the shower, put on his formal clothes and unreadable mask of expressions and joined his brother in a family dinner.

Bellatrix had arrived, Regulus hadn't seen her since she graduated Hogwarts two years ago. She had vanished from the face of this good Earth, and had only claimed to be back in the preface of 'having starved from lack of cooking skills' and 'in imminent need for a warm meal'.

Their parents seemed to buy the act, immediately inviting her in for a warm wine, which they hadn't touched since '56 and rare steak. She had changed quite a bit in the two years Regulus hadn't seen her.

Her hair had gone wilder, for once. The Black family always had unruly, curly hair no matter how they straightened them out with spells. Bellatrix had been the exception, always leaving her hair go all sorts of directions, still brushed through, of course. She was the blueprint for Andromeda to follow her and do the same, but they weren't allowed to speak of Andromeda anymore.

Her clothes also had a twist in them. She always dressed in black robes, they all did. It was simple, elegant, poised. But she had gotten into leather corsets now it seemed, ones that started from right beneath her bosom and extended until her hips. Regulus could see she wasn't stuffing herself with food, despite her excuse of a visit, and she was also holding her breath in a lot, judging from how she had to stop mid sentence every five seconds to recompose.

There was something else too, something that had nothing to do with how she presented herself and it made Regulus wonder if it was even intentional.

Her eyes, they always were eery, off and unnerving. The moment Bellatrix Black- no, Lestrange now- laid her eyes on you, you were exposed, naked as if you'd just been born. No wall or face or excuse could hide the fact that she would read right through you. Regulus was always scared of her because of it. But now, her eyes weren't just eery or off or unnerving. They were these things too, but there was something else there, he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Bella, I haven't seen you in ages, I'm so glad you could stop by." Regulus's prevarication was enough to convince his parents.

Bellatrix gave him a quick but tight hug, Regulus felt pain shoot through him as his face was squeezed on her sharp collarbone.

"Ah, Bellatrix. Long time no see." Sirius was always good with timing. Bella gave him a quick look up and down, still not letting Regulus go.

"What, no hug for me?" Regulus could basically hear his brother making way in his arms for her. She didn't falter.

×××××××××××××××××

The dinner went on quite well, there was chitchat, casual gossip and some nasty remarks Sirius's way, but other than that last bit, it was normal. Regulus was holding in his breath practically until dessert, family dinners were always unmannerly tense, and he was pleased to see Kreacher bringing in the pudding.

"So," Bellatrix stabbed the poor spoon sweet harshly, "I hear of my little cousin making me quite prideful." She sneered, she hadn't meant Regulus, obviously.

"I presume you've taken it upon yourselves to punish the blood traitor!" Her voice, cold, piercing, almost ultrasonic.

That made even Orion move around on his leather seat, clearly something they hadn't discussed with their mother, who seemed too eager to return Bella's sweet words.

"I have something in mind, maybe getting him to Beauxbatons for next year, maybe-"

"No!" Sirius had stood up, Regulus didn't know if he wanted to bury himself alive or push his brother down. He opted for the latter, gently tugging at Sirius's white flannel. He didn't pay mind.

"I am not leaving Hogwarts! You can't make me!"

"Oh is little Sirius too fond of his blood traitor friends already? Walburga have you heard?" Bellatrix's voice could make his ears bleed. "That our Sirius is hanging out with the Potter kid?" Sirius gasped and turned to look at Regulus. The latter didn't understand what caused his brother to look at him like...well, he hardly had any words in his vocabulary to describe any of it. It was surely a mix of anger and something else that Regulus couldn't recognise in his brother's features.

"Ha! You know, Auntie, I don't think changing scenery will make him obedient." Bellatrix had stood up, so did Orion. He simply excused himself to some business of the Ministry and he had locked himself in his study.

Bella continued. "I think I should let you in on a little secret now, Auntie!" Sharp, calculated, cold. Regulus thought his mother was jealous of her sister for having Bellatrix as a daughter before she had made any good of her sons. But Regulus wouldn't disappoint, he hadn't dissapointed until now.

She had this stoic look on her face, like she was expecting to reveal that this was her ghost and she had actually died saving orphan children. Something so heroic in the way she pulled up her puffed out sleeve and exposed-

"The mark! Bella, you're making our family so very proud." Regulus never thought he had ever heard his mother speak like that, he had also never even imagined her hugging someone. It was an awkward hug, stiff and foreign, but it was a hug, and he found he was missing it.

"I think Sirius here would be happy to take it too, instead of running our name through mud, tarnishing it like it's as common as the Potter's." She spat it out like it was a curse and it had sent down a shiver on both brothers.

"I will not. You can't make me!" He knew better than to throw a tantrum. Regulus was always the oversensitive one, the crying baby as his dearest mother reminded him constantly. And Sirius, he was more calculated, more logical. And then, the roles would switch when their mother got angry at them, like Regulus knew it was time to put away his tears and hide, or how Sirius knew how to push all her buttons and make her punish him.

"Regulus, go to your room." His mother's eyes didn't meet his. They were fixed on the dark mark, enchanted. Regulus wondered if he would've gotten the same remark if he tainted his pale skin like that. If he joined them, would he finally be worthy of his mother's love?

He, nonetheless, obeyed, leaving Sirius behind. Of course, not with a bit of surveillance from Kreacher, who reported back to him immediately. Elf magic wasn't anything any wizard should get to put down.

So they were here, Sirius lying on a cold floor that shouldn't have let him fall in the first place. His pure pure blood trickling red and hot down his forehead, down his legs, down his chest. Regulus didn't even try putting a stop to it. He had gotten his most trusted pillow in hand and did his best to muffle out his brother's screams.

×××××××××××××××××

Bella had left. It was almost the next morning, judging by the cold blue tint of the sky as the first rays shot through. Regulus hadn't heard his brother in a while and an unexplainable pit grew in his stomach. Would they kill him? Surely Sirius wasn't stupid enough to let that happen.

He slowly tiptoed around, entering his father's office and closing the door without making a sound. He was always closer to his father, the same way Sirius was closer to their mother. Regulus was honestly mostly scared of her, her eyes had always been so much like Bella's.

 

His father was a good conversal, they made sense of things together. He would explain everything to Regulus, as long as it didn't take more than one try.

But he wouldn't pretend to not be jealous of his mother when he would catch them, after hours, gossiping, sipping tea, laughing. That seemed like a long time ago though.

He had heard of a mirror, a two-way one. Father had described it as silvery with red roses adorning it all around. He was sure to find it, his father didn't even need it anymore. He would give it to his brother, not only so they wouldn't have to be separated during Hogwarts, but also to prove to his mother that Sirius isn't a blood traitor, like she so desperately believed.

Chapter 9: First Year: Inner Monologue

Notes:

CW blood and Walburga being a horrible parent.

Regulus wasn't able to sleep for many nights to come. Their mother had a bad habit of throwing curses at his brother, and their father of disappearing. Every day he would wake up to Kreacher mopping Sirius's blood from the floor, every night he would press his pillow so tight to his ears that they would ring after a while, numb with pain. Would Sirius finally behave? Would he just finally bloody behave himself, so they can go back to normal?

Regulus was aware that his brother was stronger, both physically and mentally, but he was also sure of his own intelligence and how superior it was. And he knew that Sirius is a shield, despite Regulus never asking him to be one. He knew he would be dead if Sirius stepped out of that door with the intention of never coming back.

Only twelve years old and yet, he already knew the importance of life and death and the thin rope that he was hanging from. Death, death didn't scare Regulus. He had dreamed of it one time too many, him drowning, him burning, him choking. And it was okay. He would be okay in the end because Sirius wouldn't leave. Right?...

×××××××××××××××××

"Breakfast is ready, master Regulus." Kreacher must've knocked on his door but he couldn't listen to anything at the moment.

"Right there Kreacher, thank you." He briefly said and ushered him away from his room. He needed just a bit more time, to stop his hands from shaking, to stop his tears from finding a way to his eyes, to think and stop the future of darkness and death and fear. There was nothing he could do lately but cry.

"Breakfast ready master-"

"Yes I know Kreacher, go away!" Sirius pushed Kreacher on the side and rushed out of his bedroom and into Regulus's.

"Breakfast." Simple enough but his voice was hoarse, shakey, Regulus thought he would break then and there.

"I'm aware, Kreacher always talks to me first." He pointed out a detail that Sirius was already aware of, surely.

"We need to talk." And Regulus wanted nothing more in this world. But how could he find the courage or the words?

"No. No we don't." Regulus was aware he was cold, he was distant. But the nights were cold and fearing for his brother's life since September had changed him.

"Arctie..." Sirius had approached (when had that happened?) and was now sitting on Regulus's bed. He hadn't been there for some time, either of them hadn't. He must've taken in the wet pillowcase, the unmade bed, the way his brother's eyes were puffy. Surely he wasn't that oblivious.

He reached out an arm, Regulus didn't flinch away.

"I have so many things to ask of you Reg. Did you tell them...about James?" Regulus's eyes got wide, his mouth hanged open.

"Of course not! I didn't even read half of the letters mother sent out! I never responded!" He didn't know what to make of the accusation, Sirius had never accused him of anything before.

"Okay...er...okay." He was fidgeting again, that couldn't be tortured out of his brother. He seemed like he wanted to ask something else too, something he couldn't phrase properly, or at all.

"Does she..." Regulus now had his own hard time phrasing his concerns, dark eyes and a pale complexion -more pale than before- were all the indicators Sirius had of their mother being cruel. "Does it hurt?" He finally blurted out, not daring to meet his brother's eyes. He wondered if he was mad at him for not interfering.

He was mad at himself, for not being as brave as his brother had been when he made mistakes, for being a coward. Then again, this mistake of Sirius seemed different in every way.

"Now now, why don't we have breakfast and then we can pack for Hogwarts, huh?" Sirius asked in return, a faint smile finding its way to his handsome Black features. Regulus didn't have the heart to tell him that he needed his answer to move on, or to maybe do something. He, however, already had it, silence is more of an answer than a blatant yes is.

×××××××××××××××××

The road back home was still as rough as Regulus remembered. Barty was next to him and Evan, talking about something he couldn't bother with. Another kid had joined them, a girl whose name escaped his mind as quickly as it was said.

"So, Rosier and I were thinking of going to professor McGonagall's office and leaving a dead rat in her drawer. It will be so epic!" Barty told everyone in the carriage -more people had joined them now -Regulus couldn't bother- and they all laughed. He was charming, he thought, he could make everyone like him in a second. Of course Regulus couldn't and wouldn't fall for such cheap acts of service to the public but still, he couldn't help but admire, and maybe be a bit jealous, of Barty's charms.

The train passed the Scottish hills, passed the well-versed rainy clouds and darkness overtook the rest of the train ride. Darkness seemed to follow the light closer than before, ever since his last visit to Grimmauld Place.

Sirius had been inexplicably tight-lipped about anything that 'may or may not have happened' as he so eloquently presented it. It seemed to Regulus that his brother was embarrassed or even angry, but he didn't know what he had to be embarrassed or angry about. All respectable pureblood families implemented more...practical methods of punishment. Sirius wouldn't be the last to misbehave and get his mother's wand served to him.

Of course he also understood that maybe Walburga was a bit excessive in her approach. But it's their mother! She would never do something that wouldn't benefit them in the end! She would never hurt Sirius for the sole purpose of hurting him, instead of teaching him a valuable lesson. What that lesson was supposed to be, it escaped his mind.

"Reggie, are you alright?" The strange girl had spoken to him, annoyingly putting him out of his thoughts.

He turned to look at her, her fair hair and pale complexion. She looked like a Malfoy but, no, her eyes were very round instead of two almonds and her lips were thinner.

"Only my friends call me that." He retaliated.

That seemed to put her in place, her posture wasn't as eagerly approaching and her eyes looked downwards.

"Hey, speak better to my sister will you, Reggie?" Spoke Evan, putting a protective arm over...his sister apparently. "Just because your blood-traitor brother sucks doesn't mean you should take it out on the rest of us." Regulus had stood up before Evan managed to draw the conclusion to his sentence, his wand out, pointing straight ahead.

"Watch it, Rosier." His voice unmistakably as his father's, cold and foreign. It was times like these that Regulus Black was a mirror of his family.

"Cedar? Oh and the core of a phoenix?" The strange girl said once more, pointing at Regulus's wand like she wasn't bothered by its proximity to her brother's face.

"Er...yes?" He couldn't for the life of him understand what was so important in that moment. He instinctively lowered his wand, curious as to what she had to say next.

"Cedar and phoenix combined make up for great loyalty and bravery. It makes sense you wanted to stand up for your brother." Her voice was eery, like she was working through something. "I wonder why you're in Slytherin, though." Regulus didn't know what to answer to that.

"Because my family...I mean, I am...I- '' Someone questioning where his brother's morality lied was a recurring theme, but someone questioning why he was a Slytherin as whole?

"Why do we get sorted at all?" She said, her eyes not quite looking at Regulus. He didn't have the answers she was looking for, but for some odd reason, he ached to find them.

They all stayed quiet after that interaction. Regulus didn't want to stand back down after just having confronted Evan, so he excused himself to the bathroom, where he recomposed.

There was a moment to think, finally, he seemed to only dwell on thought in absolute darkness. He hadn't bothered opening the lights and he was too embarrassed to go outside and reveal that he had forgotten to do it in the first place. He also couldn't do a quick lumos spell, he had left his wand at the carriage.

So there he was, all of Regulus Black, sitting still in a train bathroom. There was a time when he was terrified of the dark, back in France. Their mother never permitted open windows, they always had to be closed by a shutter. So Regulus had a hard time sleeping, opting to just sneak in his brother's bed and face the consequences of their mother finding them there.

He remembers how she was so exasperated each time that she finally let them share the room during the nights. He remembers Sirius being a little shit and telling him fake scary stories that he was making on the spot, just to see how far into the night could Regulus go without sleep. He remembers his brother cuddling him close without having to ask. He remembers the fear of darkness being taken over by something much more horrid, naked pale arms pulling him down and-

"Oh sorry, thought it was unoccu-" James bloody Potter. "What are you possibly doing in a dark bathroom, young Black?" He had that smirk on, Regulus wanted to punch him for the millionth time.

"None of your business." He shoved his way out of the bathroom, but Potter held his arm, tightly.

They stared at each other for a moment, no words spoken, no words needed to be spoken. Regulus already knew what Potter had in mind. He knew what had happened already in Grimmauld Place, he knew he was a coward.

"When...If Sirius ever gets in danger again, owl me." Regulus couldn't take enough the sight that it was James Potter looking so little, so worried.

"Will do." He gave his biggest fake smile and walked (stormed) into his intended carriage.

"What's the matter now?" Barty had asked, trying to cast a spell on his frog with both their wands.

"Bad encounters."

×××××××××××××××××

Regulus had found out about Rosier's mysterious sister, Pandora. He really loved the implication of the Greek myth, he also loved the fact that he hadn't even heard of her. In his whole life, since moving to London at least, his parents and Rosier's were friendly. Evan used to play with them, if forcing him to eat ants could be considered playing, that is. So how could he have never heard of a twin sister before?

They got onto the carriages, pulled by absolutely nothing, and headed towards the castle. It was such a moody weather too, Regulus could feel it in his bones. So much humidity and so little rain, the air was wet and his lungs were suffering.

Into the castle, Dumbledore gave his usual regards to the little applauded new DADA professor, to which Regulus paid no mind to (what had even happened to the one who they had the past three months?) and promptly called a stool and the sorting hat to his disposal.

"We have a new student at Hogwarts and despite Miss Rosier joining us much later than the actual start of term, I must ask of her to come for the sorting to one of our Houses." That drew Regulus's attention, who saw as Pandora stood up and sat on the stool, as if she wasn't the only one doing it. He thought that if he had to be the only one getting sorted, he might as well never attend Hogwarts.

"Ravenclaw!" The hat almost immediately said, earning an earnest, if not, confused applaud by everyone.

Despite the hat's sorting, Pandora sat right next to her brother, seemingly unaware of all the sets of eyes following her. Now that she was sitting next to Evan, the evidence was clear, Pandora was his sister. The hair and the eyes could be traits of any, but there's an unmistakable hunger in the way they devoured pudding that was making all the difference.

Regulus smiled at himself with that thought and his eyes wandered to the usual table of Gryffindors. His brother was right there, a clench that wasn't noticed before undid itself in his stomach. He couldn't imagine Hogwarts without his brother, despite them never having talked much. There was Lupin too, new scar on his face, he couldn't be a good influence on such a well-bred and well-mannered wizard like Sirius. And there was James Potter too, the unmistakable grin vanished from his face. Regulus didn't want to dwell on it.

That night he couldn't sleep. The first night at Hogwarts seemed to always be difficult, but Regulus couldn't help but think of Potter's stupid face and as to why it bothered him so much that he wasn't grinning any longer. He only wished his brother hadn't made a ridicul of himself and complained to Potter (or worse, Lupin) about mother. He was sure his brother was an idiot, but not more as he was prideful.

Chapter 10: First Year: Flying Lessons

Notes:

Reggie is smart but not smart enough. No CW apply, just Regulus being very sad that his father figure (Slughorn) treated him as such

"Now everyone, pay attention, this potion is called amemis from the Greek word anemos, which means air." Professor Slughorn said enthusiastically, totally not matching the vibe of the classroom. "It makes you float for just a few seconds a couple feet off the ground the moment you drink it. Now, mister Black, the younger mister Black, could you show us how to brew it?"

Regulus stood up from his seat, he walked uncomfortably from being seen by so many eyes. He took the ladle from the professor and stirred three times clockwise and one time anticlockwise.

"We must add beetroot and the eye of a frog, as long as the potion remains red." He said while steering. "Then, we have to say 'anemos be with you amemis' three times and add the leg of a chicken that has only lived for one, no, for two and a half weeks."

"Well done boy, ten points to Slytherin!" Slughorn must have been very surprised for someone to be that well read in his class. "Everyone should be as studious as mister Black here, the younger mister Black, that is." He pointed that out because he had tried doing the same with Sirius a minute ago, who had forgotten the chicken leg and almost blew everyone out of the castle.

Sirius rolled his eyes at the sarcastic remark. Regulus took notice of that and couldn't help but wonder if his general dismissal towards everything Slughorn had to say was because of him being Head of Slytherin House. He shooed that thought away, not finding reason or comfort in it.

"Mate, no worries, you have better things to do than sucking up to Slughorn." James turned to him, not noticing the daggers Regulus was throwing his direction.

"Oh my boy, will you stay behind?" Slughorn inquired, giving him a pleasant and polite smile. A genuine smile, he found himself thinking, not quite remembering when was the last time a smile wasn't a morphasm, wasn't just glass politeness.

"Of course." Regulus hadn't forgotten that the teacher wanted something of him right before Christmas. His curiosity ate his guts away at night, not letting him sleep. Instead, he was tossing and turning, sweaty but cold, his pillow was either too soft or too stiff. Slughorn was about the last person he was worried about, but a worry nonetheless.

There were many other things that were bothering him, like how his brother seemed to spend more time outside of class instead of in it, or how he was always serving detention, one way or another. If mother found out...

×××××××××××××××××

Everyone had left, tidying up behind them as they exited the dark classroom. He never understood why the classroom which needed the utmost precision was held in the most difficult of circumstances.

"Mister Black, I assure you I don't seek from you any sort of profit, I'm just asking for purely academic reasons, as you may be aware, I'm a very studious person." He didn't turn to look at Regulus, which was odd for the professor.

"Nonetheless, over the Christmas break I had a lovely dinner with professor Dumbledore. He has quite an interest in you and your friend, mister Crouch." His face revealed only the sweet truth that Slughorn didn't hold any ill intent. He nodded and let the professor go on.

"It seems that your interest in the restricted section of the library has peaked, resulting in a couple of books being stolen the past few weeks." Regulus didn't quite know what to reply to that. He readjusted his tie -that seemed to rub him in all sorts of wrong ways- and fixed his posture. The latter always worked on their mother when she was scolding Sirius, so it must work now. It was obviously him and Barty, so he let Slughorn continue.

"Professor Dumbledore is more interested in how you did it however, I am more interested as to what you were researching." His sweet demeanor had swifted suddenly, a worry had overtaken his features and some newfound darkness, that Regulus just knew it was from experience.

"Oh just, er, we had heard of the Deathly Hallows." He blurted out. It was true, he couldn't lie to authority. Barty had told them of the Deathly Hallows the night of the scary stories. "And...we wanted to know if there are other ways...to cheat death." He didn't dare look Slughorn into his eyes, but if he had, he'd take in the horrified expression of someone who has lived through something horrifying, and has lived through it more than once.

"Mister Black I must draw your attention to your studies. You've been preoccupied by anything else than excelling, your wand work is all over the place. Please be more cautious, instead of searching for fairytales." He felt the comparison fall short to what was actually at hand. Keeping up with ancient miracles of the wizarding world barely seemed like fairytales!

"Professor, you're being unfair. We were merely trying to emulate some of the most powerful magic..."

"No. I do not want to hear it Mister Black! Fifty points from Slytherin, for each of you. Do not get into the restricted section without a fair from professor Dumbledore himself." He was getting redder by the second, the neckline seemingly too tight for his hefty neck.

"I do not understand why what we did was so wrong professor. We didn't hold any ill intentions. Isn't Slytherin all about ambition? All about cunningness and resourcefulness and, and-"

"Enough is enough Mister Black. Detention, my office, for the next two weeks. And I'm being lenient for the sake of your family." Regulus was left with his mouth ajar. Detention?

"No, professor, you don't, I didn't even do something wrong!" His throat was tighter, something was definitely pressuring to get out like a tight ball of cotton stuck in his throat. He could sense tears welling up in his eyes and cold sweat running down his forehead.

"I understand perfectly clear. Tell your friend the same." The professor waited some time, playing with the feather in his hands before turning back to look at Regulus, like he had forgotten he was there for a moment. "Well, out you go, come on boy."

Regulus was storming down the dark-lit corridor that seemed darker any longer he stayed there. His tears were knocking on the door furiously, trying to get out but he held them long enough to reach the dungeons, say the password and get into his dorm. There, he had all the time to let himself cry.

A professor, no, a person of authority hasn't scolded him in so long, it felt foreign. He was always abiding by the rules, he never exceeded expectations since they were already too high. So a man like Slughorn, the head of his house, someone so close to his family, to not only point out one wrong, but a series of mistakes? It was devastatingly tragic, to say the least.

He let it all out, the hot tears and the frustration and anger that has built up for too long. After a while, he didn't even think he was crying because Slughorn made him cry -which was his initial thought- but because of, well, everything else as well. One on top of the other, they've accumulated like years of paperwork trying to find recipients. He had been in Hogwarts for a bit less than a year now and it had been a constant battle of trying to keep Sirius in order without seeming too into blood-traitors.

And it was the matter that Slughorn had already pointed out rather crudely, his classes were falling behind. He hadn't excelled in any class thus far and hadn't earned a significant amount of points for his house. His wand work and potion making and defense mechanisms, they were all up to date with theory, but practicality was missing. And it drove him insane, every time his spells weren't quite working. Like everything he's worked for, no, like his own pure blood wasn't to be taken into consideration and he wasn't actually one of the best wizards of the school. It drove him mad!

"Reggie?" The unusually soft voice of Barty Crouch Junior entered the room, it was grounding, it was everything Regulus needed in that moment. He unconsciously looked up to see that Barty had already opened up the curtains of his bed, and was now looking down at him with the most understanding look.

"Come here." He gestured to Regulus and he came closer. Their hands intertwined and he let out a sigh of relief, the young Black didn't know anyone but his brother who could have had that effect on him.

They walked down the corridor silently, but Regulus couldn't help to look at the boy next to him. His features were so soft and delicate, it seemed. Barty had almond shaped eyes that were a bit downturn and dark curls that were no where near as ringletted as Regulus's. They were covering his honey hued eyes for the most part, only leaving way for him to see through and towards the backyard.

It was a sunny day, the bright days of summer were definitely approaching. They were loads of Hogwarts students just roaming the grounds, playing chess in the freshly mowened grass or reading under the provided shade of an oak tree. Barty didn't seem to be interested in any of those activities, his pace picked up and he and Regulus got into the Quidditch field in no time, narrowingly avoiding their roommates who were bickering about something uneventful.

"Barty what is this all about?" Regulus finally found the courage to speak, not inciting a word from the other boy.

Instead, Barty led him into the broom closet they had already gone in a thousand times before for their flying lessons. There, he found his own broom as well as Barty's, lying there but not dusty at all, like they were expected to be ridden.

"Come!" He said with a smile and Regulus couldn't help smile back.

They picked them from the closet and mounted their broomsticks, riding them over to the empty field.

"I know how much you like flying! Cheer up, mate, you have your very own Quidditch field, all to yourself!" With that, Barty released the snitch that he was apparently holding this whole time and it shot right though the skies. Regulus's eyes lit up and, without a second thought, he flew at the top of the field.

The view was breathtaking, the whole west side of the castle could be seen from over here. Regulus looked at the stands were Barty had taken his seat, waiting for him to catch the snitch expectantly. He looked around, there was still some fresh snow in the ground but there was no mistaking it: summer was near. The empty stands and the cold wind, the non existent pressure of eyes looking at him in case of messing up, in case of excelling, it was freeing. Up in the skies, he was the master of himself.

Suddenly, he caught sight of the snitch, his eyes lit up and his posture became more hunched over his broom. He shoared through the sky as fast as he could, but the snitch was faster. The golden ball made a sudden left turn and Regulus found himself unexpectedly at point zero.

He could hear Barty laugh at him and a smile crept up at his face. Barty made him feel warm inside despite the chilly wind on his face.

There it was, the snitch taunting him as it made a loop and then another loop in front of his very eyes. Regulus focused, promising himself to catch it this time. He trailed behind it, extending an arm when he got too close. The snitch made another turn, then another, but he was better, he was faster this time and he knew what to expect. In no time he managed to catch it, the cold metal so strange but relieving to his red, sweaty palms.

"WHOO!!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, REGULUS BLACK HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH, SLYTHERIN WINS!" Barty yelled at the top of his lungs and Regulus flew in front of him, floating statically with the biggest toothy smile on his face and a snitch proudly in his hands.

 

The two boys looked at each other for some time, Regulus atop of his broom, above the ground, Barty on the stands. The wind blew cold but Regulus felt warmer than ever looking into Barty's eyes. He wanted to say thank you but his voice was stuck in his throat, unable to escape. Suddenly, Barty launched himself forward and -on the tip of his toes- hugged Regulus.

×××××××××××××××××

The next few weeks passed in earnest boredom. Regulus served his detention with Slughorn in different classrooms than Barty and he found himself missing the other boy.

Honestly, Regulus didn't want to think about Barty much. He felt like the situation at hand (whatever it was) was too complicated to put on top of the pile of already existing problems. Ever since they entered the Quidditch field alone, something in Regulus had fundamentally changed. He couldn't stop thinking about it, about his friend's eyes staring at him throughout his search for the snitch or about the hug. The hug specifically had plagued Regulus, it was all he could think about during classes, during homework, during showers. And he mysteriously always found himself smiling each time the memory would pop up.

He now found himself in the Great Hall, picking on his food and thinking of the same old hug when Severus nudged him, pointing to one of Sirius's friends. Regulus thought well and hard before remembering his name, Remus Lupin.

"Loopy Lupin over there has an awful lot of scars for a quiet kid, don't you think?" Said Severus, his voice hoarse from the weather.

"What about it?" Regulus at first thought that his parents probably disciplined him the same way. Then again, he was only a half-blood and he doubted that they would want his son parading with scars on his face.

"Don't know, but look into that. Wouldn't want a guy like him around my brother, if I were you." He replied, eating away at his salad.

Regulus thought that a bit of research couldn't go bad. He spent the rest of his afternoon in the library, close enough to check what Lupin was reading, not close enough for the other boy to suspect him.

And Regulus had his own peculiar interests, like merepeople or what he was so close to discovering with Barty in the restricted section. He in no point in time did he ever consider werewolves to be of much importance. Nevertheless, Lupin spent an awful amount of time researching books with headtitles such as:

"Magical Beast and Where to Find Them"

"101 Care of Magical Creatures Guide"

"The full moon and its consequences"

And he wouldn't think of them as anything more than a hobby, it it weren't for the book he picked up this week:

"Laws and Regulations on Werewolves"

The other books were for purely academical reasons, but the last one? That must've been personal. He didn't dare report it back to Severus however, he would only if he were absolutely certain of the thing he suspected and feared the most: Remus Lupin is a werewolf.

Chapter 11: First Year: The Prank

Notes:

Hihi angsty brother relationships!!

"What do you think they're discussing, over there?" Regulus asked, gesturing his brother's way. Barty was eating his omelette in peace, evidently not expecting such question.

"Who cares?" He said muffled.

"I care!"

"Okay. Maybe your sweet blood traitor of a brother wants to mend ways with you and is trying to find a way to get you back."

"You think?" Regulus' face lit up for a second.

"No, I think they're all laughing at how bratty you're being. Wake up! Nobody is coming to save you, so just save yourself while you can!" Barty was fed up with Regulus and his indecisiveness. He, on the one hand, wanted to be Sirius' little brother, he wanted to feel protected, appreciated, cared for, loved. On the other, he despised him, prefered his brother not even mentioned, let alone talked about. And Barty was getting just a bit fed up with his antics, his fits of passion and his mood swings. "Honestly, Regulus..."

"Save me from what?"

"Huh?" Barty took the moment to look up from his omelette and into his friend's eyes, who had darkened dangerously.

"You said save me, from what?" He didn't understand what Barty had meant, what his saving was about. He seemed to be pushing that idea a lot since that night they showed each other their scars. Barty seemed to think of him as a damsel in distress, in need of having his eyes opened.

"Your horrible parents?" Barty looked puzzled, like he was trying to figure out how that option wasn't a crossing thought in Regulus's mind.

"My parents aren't horrible. Sure my father is...cold-shouldered and my mother, well, uncharacteristically cruel, but that doesn't make them horrible." He considered and weighed his options. If his family were the only ones who tolerated him, then so be it. And he thought of the word tolerated because mother dearest had made sure to belittle their egos all while enlarging them.

"Right...that's not horrible, that's totally normal!"

"Exactly, it's realistic."

"Totally." Barty agreed, not wanting to cause any problems, especially with Regulus. He wasn't afraid of him, not one bit, the other boy had a much smaller frame despite them being the same height and his voice was always frail, just like his pale skin. But he reckoned he wanted to be on his good side if he wanted to have a reliable friend, and Regulus was the most reliable out there.

The younger Black took a moment to think. His eyes wandered off to the Gryffindor table once more, he was used to it by now, it was something he accepted as a given fact, as fate. Potter was playing chess with that other kid, the name escaped him. He could only remember having met him during the first day at Hogwarts, but no more than that.

He still held the mirror from his father's study in his possession, trying to find the time to give it to his brother. He was, however, always travelling with that group of invalids, Potter taunting his unkempt hair, Lupin and that other boy trailing behind him and his brother like they were some sort of celebrities. He held the mirror tightly, not caring about it cutting his palm and letting sweet blood run down it.

"You're going to get your robes messy, and blood is quite difficult to wash away." Pandora said, she appeared everywhere you didn't need her to be these days. Regulus harboured hostile feelings for her, without having an actual reason behind them.

"I have to go." He stood up and approached the table on the other side of the Hall. All eyes were on Regulus as he tapped his brother's shoulder, who didn't seem to have noticed him and continued laughing, probably at some stupid joke. He cleared his throat.

"Er, Sirius?" He sounded small, unsure and a Black is never unsure.

He could catch from the corner of his eye, Potter, making a head gesture signalling his arrival, he saw his head turn and took in his brother's confused, then incredulous expression.

"What do you need, little brother?" He said almost tauntingly, not even fully turning to address him.

The Hall was dead silent and, despite Sirius knowing how uneasy his brother could get in front of a large crowd, he did nothing to put Regulus out of his misery. Instead, he just stood there, looking up expectantly. The younger boy could feel the stare of every Hogwarts student piercing through his skin, especially the overly keen one of one James Potter, who had now leaned over his food and had his hands crossed underneath his chin.

"Nevermind." Regulus said and exited the Hall hastily, not looking back. If he had, he would've caught the dismissing eyeroll of his brother, or Barty chasing behind him.

"Wait, Merlin's balls, wait!" Barty near-yelled, taking a moment to gather himself before going back to chasing after Regulus.

"Oh come oooon you little git. What's this about now, heh?" He was panting, hands over his knees as he replenished his breath. The other boy had stopped, seeing Barty like that wasn't the most pleasant sight.

"I do not want to talk right now." He gathered his posture, looking down in the most posh of manners.

"Oh don't gimme that look, Reggie." Barty grinned, but it was more playful than it was vicious.

"I wanna fly again, can we do that?"

"Nah, you won't escape your problems forever, Black. For once, you'll have to face 'em."

"Dorm?"

"Dorm." Agreed Barty.

×××××××××××××××××

As always, the Slytherin dormitory was darkly lit, the rays of sunshine that escaped the vicious grasps of the currents in the Black lake were shooting generously through the room. The green tint evident as ever during the daylight, was casting undefined shadows. Regulus took his seat next to Barty, on the same old leather couch.

"Hand."

"What?"

There was no other warning as Barty took hold of his arm, with a bit of force if he may add, and pushed it in front of his eyes. The red blood was still oozing from his palm and had dried up in the corners. Barty took his wand and mumbled some incantations, stopping the flow.

"Where did you lea-"

"Mom's a healer." He simply said, dragging his oak wand across his palm and, to Regulus's utmost surprise, his skin closed up on itself, with only a silver line where red flesh was standing a moment ago.

"Feel better?" Barty asked, not letting go of his hand, but keeping it tighter to his chest, like if he left it, Regulus would go hurting himself again.

He couldn't do anything but nod, his head overwhelmed with emotion that was alien to him. It felt just like when he was thinking of their hug, warm inside, like he was burning the same way a phoenix would.

His hand felt extremely hot now and he got very worried thinking that his palm had gotten clammy and sweaty from the anxiety building up in his chest, overwhelmingly reaching his throat. He snatched it away from Barty, who looked as worried as ever.

"What's all this fuss about then?" He asked, head cocked to the side in an innocent manner.

"Sirius." He didn't want to say more, so he didn't.

"He needs a right prank, Severus was right." The grin reappeared on his face, where only a moment ago there was only worry and sorrow.

×××××××××××××××××

Pranks were never Regulus's forte. With the exams approaching dangerously and his mother's letters unread on his bed table, it should be about the last thing he thought about. But there was something rewarding in taking revenge, at least for a moment.

The four boys had made their dormitory a place where brainstorming mischief was the new norm, papers on the goblin riots, mandrakes and flying potions were long discarded as new plans unfolded.

"I'd say let's turn their robes green, Slytherin green. Your brother would hate that!" Said Evan loud and clear, eating away at the pastils his mother had packed. What a sweet woman, Regulus thought, having liked her company every time she came by Grimmauld Place.

"Bo-ooring! I say let's give them hallucinating potions, so they can't sleep for a week." Said Severus, who was absemindetly playing with his wand. Still more snobbish than ever, Regulus thought he shouldn't even have been included.

"That, as horrifying as it is, is still no better than Reggie's idea." Barty said, looking at him expectantly.

"What's that again?" Rosier inquired, having dropped the pastils and moving on to Bertie Botts.

"Listen, didn't you ever wonder how the House point system worked?" Regulus took in the confused look from his other two roommates and sighed.

It was a long night, explaining everything, sorting out the mechanics of the prank. It was most certainly a complicated, ancient spell that would have horrible consequences if messed up. However, everyone was extremely, maybe a bit too comfortable at the fact that they could pull through, so while everyone else slept away, Regulus and Barty were granted with the task to go over to the giant hourglasses, and enchant them.

It was brilliant! The next morning, no one had suspected a thing, which was already a huge win on their part. Now, they had to see during transfiguration, how their enchanting had affected said hourglass.

Slytherin had 349 house points, whereas Gryffindor had 528. They had made sure to take note of that so they could actually check to see if there's any significant difference by the end of the day.

The plan, of course, extended further in their cunning minds. They knew small, five-point differences wouldn't possibly be noticeable. So Regulus had made sure the blame for the unimportant pranks were on other houses but theirs or the Gryffindors, that the small Slytherin second-year actually lost her shoes to Alice Fortesque from Hufflepuff, that the portraits having hats all of a sudden was surely on Quirinus Quirrell, the fourth year Ravenclaw who was definitely smart enough to pull it off.

And the teachers bought it. The Gryffindor house points remained static, whereas the Slytherin points grew and grew. And the best part, nobody batted an eye. The difference was so miniscule, so absolutely insignificant that the Slytherins thought they had a good day, and the Gryffindors thought that they were losing points as fast as they were gaining them!

Transfiguration was as complicated and boring as always, a mouse into a shoe, how standard. His brother had already managed to turn it into a silvery, glass shoe, it wasn't even squeaking, rather, the glass slipper was standing shiny and proudly on top of his desk. Sirius had his hands between his head, he was leaning back in his chair and had a broad grin of approval and superiority plastered across his face.

"Excellent work, Mister Black. Ten points to Gryffindor!" Regulus grinned, knowing that those points would be transferred to his house instead. It momentarily didn't matter that his shoe squeaked, or that it had whiskers. Momentarily, what mattered was him winning, was him beating his brother in something despite the unorthodox or immoral ways he chose to do it.

 

×××××××××××××××××

It wasn't long until the Gryffindors realised what was up. The professors seemed as oblivious as ever, evidently thinking that the Gryffindor hourglass was stuck. No one even checked to see if the points lost or gained had anything to do with Slytherin being in the lead all of a sudden.

 

“Hey, Reg, wait!” Said Sirius, trailing behind him along with Potter.

 

Regulus turned around to take in the sight that is James Potter after the flying classes with Hooch. Apparently, he's taking in extra classes to make it to the Quidditch team by second year. The only reason Regulus knew of this, was because he wouldn't shut up about it.

 

James had a rougher look on him after practice. His hair was messier than before and his glasses a bit crooked (weren't they bothering him?).

 

“What is it?” He replied coldly, not daring to look in his brother's eyes.

 

“I was with Madam Pomfrey just now.” Regulus's posture suddenly changed, his eyes grew wide and he was awfully aware of his heartbeat.

 

“What- what happened?”

 

“Oh, nothing, to me at least. Some muggleborn girl from Ravenclaw and Mulciber, not a great mix, you know?” He was utterly confused. This information didn't bother him in the least, but for some reason his brother's eyes held a flame, a sense of…injustice?

 

“...Okay?” Regulus turned away, immediately stopped by his brother's arm on his. He turned to look at Sirius's eyes, who were fierce. He was then suddenly very aware of his hot red ears, or the way his fingers gripped tighter than necessary at his robes.

 

“I helped her, you know. I carried her over to the hospital wing, with James's help. We calmed her down, distracted her.” Regulus was so very confused. Why was Sirius telling him all this? Did he even think that he'd congratulate him for his bravery, chivalry, sense of justice? He was in no mood to.

 

“And you know, Madam Pomfrey, she awarded me a bunch of points.” He said as a matter of factly, and Regulus knew exactly where he was going with this now. A smirk appeared on his face, a mostly arrogant one.

 

“And then, for some odd reason, what happened then, Jamie?” Sirius turned to Potter in the most theatrical ways, gesturing for him to continue.

 

“Ah, yes, then our points remained…static!” He pointed out with his hands all stretched out and a grin of mischief that you wouldn't expect next to a seething Sirius.

 

“And? How does that concern me in the slightest?” Regulus crossed his arms, the urge to take a step back was declined by his mind. It would seem too suspicious.

 

“Oh I don't know, maybe because the points got transferred to your stupid House?” His eyes were glowing dangerously, his stare had darkened.

 

“Mm I'm not following. What are you suggesting, dear brother?” The air was thick and sparse, the distance between them had grown significantly, despite their bodies almost touching.

 

“Oh do not pretend you're bloody dense!” Sirius yelled, extorting a surprised reaction from Potter, who took a step back instinctively. Regulus wanted to do the same, unfortunately he had to stand his ground.

 

“Prove anything. Oh, can't?! Too bad.” He uncrossed his arms and stared right back into Sirius's eyes, challenging him. The older twin seemed to look back, before retracting and looking back down. Regulus was quiet pleased and he decided it was the right time to take a step back. “If you don't mind, I have dinner to attend to.” He turned and started walking towards the Great Hall, half-anticipating his brother's arm to snatch him back. He didn't.

Chapter 12: First Year: Conclusions

Notes:

Nothing really happens in this chapter, except from nice Slytherin friendships (for now) and some Black brothers angst. Enjoy!

Regulus was in a position he had never imagined himself in. He was standing, along with Barty, Severus and Evan, in front of the head of the Gryffindor House. Their heads were tucked in and their hands were crossed behind their backs.

"The behaviour you have exhibited is at the very least against House unity and, at most, extremely prohibited." Professor McGonagal had been repremanding them for over half an hour now, with the very presence of Horace Slughorn, who looked thoroughly and utterly dissapointed.

"What were you thinking? Did you really think you'd get away with this?" Honestly, Regulus thought they might have. If it weren't for his awful brother who had caught up and lost points for Gryffindor on purpose.

It was a factor they hadn't considered, that their own prank could turn against them so very quickly. James and Sirius alone had lost them enough points that no one dedacted any more, it was rather depressing.

"Detention, for all four of you, and your parents will be notified!" She said without even sparring a glance at them, and with a motion of her hand, ushered them away.

Great, Regulus thought, he couldn't wait for his dear mother's howler. His head hurt so bad from all the lecturing and his mind was very foggy. Weirdly enough, he didn't feel the same way when McGonagal had reprimanded him, as when it came from Slughorn. He would love to have more time to dwell on the reasons behind that. He definitely didn't need his brother, along with Potter (always along with Potter), waiting just outside the professor's office.

"Reg." Sirius said flatly. Potter didn't seem to quite grasp the reason he was there. He was absemindently playing with a small golden snitch that was definitely a fake-- Regulus had an eye for this sort of thing.

"Sirius." He replied, not sparing a single more glance. He was mad as it was with his brother, there was no need for more infight. Evan and Severus had long left, but Barty stayed put right by his side, fiercely showing his support with his stance.

There was no need for more words, both brothers knew of this. After Regulus realised that his brother had ratted him out, it took every fiber of his being (and Barty physically holding him back) to not go and start a fight. It would be a stupid one, the result not leading anywhere. Still, toujours pur wasn't about this, 'us against the world' wasn't about this. These words apparently meant nothing more than empty promises that he was quick to believe, and it drove him absolutely and justifiably mad.

"Come on, James. Wouldn't want to stand in the presence of such a cunning coward any longer." Sirius knew how to bite, just like Regulus did. Identifying the weakness of the other, assessing the damage they would do, and then they bite, snarky remarks can fall so easily from their mouths.

"Oh that's an understatement. I'm sure I can't measure up to the great James Potter." Regulus said coldly. The presence of Barty was so so very comforting, his bodily warmth was radiating and reaching his own.

"Oh he's a much better brother than you could ever be." There it was. The reason Regulus will forever hate James Potter. He didn't truly understand when he had launched forward, clawing at his brother, hitting his arm and yelling until he was restrained by Barty, whose warmth calmed him down instantly.

"Mental, that one. Takes after our lovely family." Sirius said with a nonchalant smirk, albeit for a bit of a shaken look on his face.

"Pray I don't see you bloody anywhere near me, brother dearest." Regulus hissed, his knuckles turned a sickly yellow and his veins popped up from the pressure.

"What, you'll send your dogs after me?" His head gestured to Barty, who seemed to think nothing of the insult and actually laugh, the madman.

"Oh you seem to pride yourself too much of your effect, Black. Just because you're busy with your boyfriend, doesn't make me eligible to kick your arse." He takes a moment, then another and turns to Regulus. "Though I would love that, Reggie. Just say the word and I'll absolutely beat him to a pulp." His smirk was as contagious as ever, but Regulus was too heated that he didn't find it in him to follow along.

"Oh, as tempting as that sounds, I wouldn't be able to resist doing it myself." He was looking his brother dead in the eyes, both of them with startling fire that was swirling dangerously.

"Now now," James Potter, ever the pacifist, broke the eye contact between the brothers, pushing his body like dead weight in between them. "It's a pity, for brothers to fight." He took Sirius's hand in his own, and Regulus wished he could bite his whole arm off. "Come on, Reggie, gimme yours." He was a simple man: He heard the nickname Barty gave him from someone who shouldn't even be close to breathing the same air as him, he was seething.

"I'd rather drown myself in the Black lake." That earned a choked laugh from Barty and, surprisingly, James too.

"Oh my, this one is more sarcastic than you, Sirius!" He was amused, suddenly forgetting about his brother's hand and turning right opposite from Regulus, who took a step back instinctively.

"And," he continued, not paying any mind to the rest watching them. "a bit more feisty, too, I think." His eyes held wonder for the other boy, Regulus didn't understand what it was all about. Like he hadn't just attacked Sirius, like James wasn't the reason they had drifted apart the past year. Regulus urged his mind to remember, remember and never forget as to why his brother is so distant, so vicious, so cruel, so ignorant, oblivious, indifferent. Just like mother, he thought, but tried not to.

"Come Barty," Regulus spoke despite himself, the sound of his voice even surprising himself. "I have better things to do than hang around a couple of good for nothing blood traitors." He turned, not bothering to take in the hurt look on his brother's face, not daring to take in Potter's oddly altruistic one.

Once they were out of earshot and then sight, Regulus turned to Barty and his eyes glistened against his will. There was something so mortifyingly real about his fight with Sirius. When they were children, they would fight over stupid things, stropping off to their rooms and not speaking until the anger washed over them. Then, they'd be back on good terms, without ever having to apologise, without even having to address it.

This was out of his control, however. His brother not only ignored his very existence, but siding with the enemy, with James Potter, out of everyone. At first, he truly believed that this was nothing more than a small range rebellion that wouldn't escalate too quickly. He wanted to believe that his brother would come around, to value everything his parents gave him, to value his blood purity, to value his little brother, because that's what it all came down to, family values, and Regulus will be damned before letting Sirius go.

And so he didn't understand when his eyes started tearing up, he didn't understand when Barty had dragged them both to a dark classroom and he definitely didn't understand catching the front of Barty's robes and bloody sobbing. He was so very confused, like his mind felt the utmost desire to not rest. No, it had wanted so eagerly to jump around, to escape Regulus's grasp, mocking him as, the more he was trying to concentrate on a thought, the more it seemed to fade away and vanish into the distance.

He only took actual notice of his tears after the first drop Barty took in his fingers. Regulus made a show trying to stop his tears from spilling, scrunching his nose and using the sleeves of his robes as tissues. Needless to say, it didn't work, as more came out in the most natural of ways, and Regulus thought they'd never stop.

"Shhh, it's okay Reggie, you're alright." Barty's voice has never been soft. It was then, though, and that was everything Regulus needed to look up, his big eyes facing the other boy with wonder. Their faces were so close that Regulus could feel Barty's breath on him, and the latter had his hands cupping his face, like he couldn't protect him enough. Barty always wanted to protect him, despite knowing each other so little, despite his brother not making such efforts.

×××××××××××××××××

The exams finished just as quickly as they had started, the summer air had punched out every anxious thought, every sad feeling, and Regulus found himself basking in the Scottish sun, his eyes closed in content. The voices of his friends were serving as background noise that were to be merely ignored, not in a rude way, just, the sun was right there and Regulus had a bad habit of always being cold unless he was directly facing it.

He caught a glimpse of his brother and his group, Sirius making a show of ignoring him as he turned his heel rather rapidly and turned away. Regulus huffed and turned to Barty, who threw two middle fingers in the air despite the boys already having turned their backs.

“Hey Reg, want to come over to mine during summer?” Said Evan, who was braiding Pandora’s hair, not bothering looking up from his task.

“I doubt I am allowed to. Might have to spend the rest of the summer in mother's detention,” He made his two front figures curl at the last word, then continued, “plus, father says we have some business back in France during August, and I can't wait!” He was genuine with that, despite almost always being a ‘sarcastic prick’ as Barty lovingly reminds him.

“Whatabout you, mister Barty, sir.” Evan was beaming, Regulus's insides churned knowing he didn't get such special treatment from Rosier, despite knowing each other longer. An uncomfortable thought, that he didn't sit any longer with when Barty hit Evan’s head with his book and straightened his posture.

“Father thinks me getting sorted into Slytherin is a great deal breaker.” He scoffed. “Wants to enrol me in summer camp, so I become smarter or something, I don't really know.” There was an uncharacteristic grimace in his features, a look of disgust every time he mentioned his father, or had to deal with girls for that matter.

“Same. You, Sev?” Severus turned to look, not fond of the nickname. Regulus couldn't blame him, but he had gotten used to them by now.

“Lily and I haven't spoken almost at all all year now…I'll spend the rest of summer making up for it.” He was definitely serious about this, the only two things that came out of his mouth was Lily's name and potions revelations.

It was rather sad, Regulus noticed, how little they would get to talk to each other during the summer. He thought it was to be expected, some friends are just for school, or for work, or for special gatherings. Lifelong friends are very hard to find, especially when you're twelve. Still, he didn't think it proper to not at least write to them, seeing how his relationship with Sirius was strained as it was.

“Will you write? All of you, I mean.” Regulus said, turning to look at Barty first and then Evan. “Except for you, ‘Sev’, can't stand you.” He had said that earnestly, truly hoping he wouldn't have to reply to one of his letters, but everyone else seemed to laugh it off, except for Pandora, who closed her eyes.

“Ah, I'll see. Mother doesn't really like owls and all magic-related things. Father is enough of a prick to not lend me his…” He seemed to regret speaking that thought aloud though, which made him promptly say, “I'll do my best, but no promises.”

“I'll write.” Barty and Evan said at the same time, which earned a laugh from them both.

“You have to touch something red.” Pandora said, stopping the boys from delving deeper into laughter.

“And why’s that, Dora?” Barty said, determined to stick nicknames to everyone.

“The Greeks think that if you say something at the same time as someone else, you have to touch red, or unspeakable things will happen to you.” She didn't open her eyes while speaking, the sun had moved and it was directly in her eyes, to her obvious annoyance.

“Ah, what's the worst that can happen?” Barty said, looking around for something red. “It's not like we'll go mad or something.”

“Never say never, Barty. I might go mad if your father sends you into that camp and you become a know-it-all git.” Evan laughed off, a tear escaped his eyes that he was quick to pick up and smear over his robes.

“But Evan, dear, have you considered, in that beautiful, thick head of yours, that I'm already a know-it-” before he could finish his sentence, Rosier had picked up Pandora’s book and smacked Barty's head, both boys dissolving in further, louder laughter.

It was quite simple, Regulus thought, to make friends, after all. He might not even need his brother. Still, he wasn't looking forward to summer, none of his friends seemed to be able to write to him and being stuck in a household such as Grimmauld Place with Sirius seemed like torture. For the first time in his life (and certainly not the last) Regulus was avoiding his brother. He hoped the strain wouldn't last.

Chapter 13: Summer of 1971: Fight

Notes:

It took a while, probably because it's the 13th chapter (hence cursed). It's a bit dialogue heavy but I hope to have portrayed Reggie's feelings well enough. As always, enjoy!

Grimmauld Place isn't haunted. But despite its lovely garden and telescope pointing at Orion, Regulus felt the ghosts of the past come back and haunt him.

×××××××××××××××××

The train ride to London was uncharacteristically boring, albeit for a short moment when Evan hit his tooth searching for a berty bots bean that had fell under his seat.

"Such pure blood, wasted." Had teased Barty, clicking his tongue in a mocking manner.

Walburga had not been the one to see them back in the train station. Kreacher stood out from the crowd, despite the adverse circumstances of his height.

×××××××××××××××××

"So," Orion left his silver spoon to the side, it made a scratching sound that Regulus despised. "I need some help, it seems, with the renovation of our Manor in Normandy." His gaze never left his mashed potatoes, fixed on them as if it were the most important document. "You boys need to learn what actual labour entails." His eyes, then, by some miracle, unfocused from the plate and landed effortlessly on Regulus, who gave him a shy smile, earning one right back.

"We've discussed," Walburga interrupted the sweet moment by dropping her own set of silverware, a simple knife and fork, harsher than his father. "That Sirius is not to follow. He will remain here, maybe visit my beloved sister-"

"I am certain that Sirius will learn all about family values by spending more time with his immediate family members." Orion ascerted over their mother, who seemed to want to crawl out of her skin.

"Perhaps. But the offer isn't definitive."

That was that then. Regulus wasn't sure if he preferred his brother being there or not. The dilemma stretched out, the uncertainty of future was too grand to avoid. If he were to trail along, maybe he'd mend ways with him, maybe even find out what goes through his brain, that Regulus questions if he has at that point.

If he stays behind, the distance only grows, it spreads and ripples out and then it would be too late to catch up with it. Not to mention that it would be his only time that he'd have with Sirius all to himself, or that he didn't even have an inkling as to how long this trip would last.

"Regulus Arcturus Black, I am talking to you." His mother's voice, screechy and elegant, always too assertive, always too loud, always made Regulus tense in all the uncomfortable ways.

"Sorry." He interjected quickly, looking up from his plate, before realising his grave mistake. "I am sorry mother, it won't happen again." She very usually tolerated half-eaten words.

"How is Narcissa? Is she excited?" Mother wasn't referring to anything else but Narcissa and Lucious' wedding, scheduled in the middle of this Christmas. The Black family weddings tended to take place during winter, so their skin was even more fair and shiny.

"Oh yes yes, very." Despite Narcissa being his favourite of the Black sisters, Regulus had just realised that he hadn't talked that much to her while at Hogwarts. If he were to exclude some times in the Great Hall and once when she bookmarked something he commented on, there had been no other interactions. "She really loves Malfoy, from what I understand."

"Loves?" His mother put on that uncharacteristic smile of hers, it made Regulus shiver. "You hear that, Orion? Our boy here is a romantic!" Orion didn't feel like commenting, so he didn't. He insisted on cutting on a rather stubborn piece of steak, so he was preoccupied. Regulus turned to face his brother, who hadn't spoken all of dinner-- very unusual for him.

×××××××××××××××××

"Er, hey." Regulus had played this moment over in his head plenty of times, practicing it again and again. He still managed to let all his confidence drain from him and away.

"Oh. Hi." That's all he would get from Sirius and he knew it. Somehow, it didn't sting as much.

"Want help packing? Kreacher already helped with mine." He had approached now, his feet moving slowly and noiselessly, as the wooden floorboards didn't dare to creek.

The silence stretching out in between the two brothers was newfound evidence of their striking differences.

Sirius had already taken time out of his days to decorate the room with red and golden ribbons hanging from his bed curtains. There were hand-drawn lions tearing apart serpents, their family crest hidden behind an engorged Gryffindor pin, and the map of the family's stars and constellations now constantly pointing at the moon. It was upsetting, how easily he had switched, how easily he had abandoned everything that made him, him and still, he was standing right in front of Regulus, packing his suitcase.

"So...mother let you join us?" His voice frail, surprised even himself with how uncharacteristically his it was.

Sirius let out a scoffing sound, disapproving of everything Regulus had just said. He stopped placing well folded clothes in his suitcase and turned to face him, his eyes red, his hands shaking.

"Oh of course she did! After we quarrelled about it, that is." He was exhausted, judging from the bags under his eyes and the way they were unfocused.

Regulus was now face to face with his brother. He had reached his destination, but he was as lost as any. Sirius wasn't in front of him at the moment, no, the shell of his was. It was devastating, how mother could pick him apart so easily. Just a couple of words, harshly delivered. Just a disgusted look from her and Sirius was undone.

"I think I have a tea, somewhere, I can search-"

"Oh don't bother. I'll sleep during the trip." Father had insisted going by train and then boat and then train again.

It was usual practice of the Black family to adhere to muggle ways, for no other reason other than pointing out every fallacy, inconvenience and poverty that muggles did, had, crossed. Hence why Grimmauld Place was right up a muggle alleyway.

"Uhm...I can, give you a book, Barty gave it to me and-"

"I'll stop you right there, Reg." He didn't bother looking his brother in the eyes, too preoccupied trying to get his hands to stop shaking, and miserably failing to do so. "My friend, Lupin, you know him?"

Regulus was taken aback, his whole body stiffened. Could they know that they were researching his…unusual habits? But, then again, if they were to find something, should he not tell Sirius? His life was on the line and-

"Reg? Lupin, you remember him, right?" His voice seemed calmer, still rough though, still shaken.

"Sure. The one with the weird scars on his face?" He made a motion pointing at the general direction of his face with his finger, which earned a nod from Sirius.

"Yeah well, he's been going away...a lot." He sat down at his bed, which no longer held Slytherin-coloured sheets but red and gold ones. Regulus took after his example and sat beside Sirius.

"Yeah so, everytime I question where he's going, he says it's some family business he needs to attend to or something." Sirius scratched the back of his head, his hands easier on him. "But everytime, without fail, he ends up in the hospital wing, more scars on him, more pain."

Regulus was perplexed. Sirius's eyes were still filled with sorrow, sadness that he wouldn't overcome. He had calmed down now, his body was more relaxed as he leaned forward, but as to why he was telling him all this, it was well beyond him.

"So, James and I, we thought to do some research." Sirius continued, impetuous from Regulus not having spoken a word. "We went to the library and searched on families and family values and family dynamics- Did you know some families have adopted children?" He turned to look at Regulus, incredulously, which earned no reaction other than a soft nod for Sirius to continue, and so he did.

"Anyways, when James and I got deeper into it, we saw that some families aren't...they aren't...not the best...they can't..."

"Oh get it out with already, Sirius, what is with this whole backstory?" Regulus had grown bored and his brother not being able to articulate his thoughts was getting tiring.

"Some families just aren't...good...for...being-" Sirius took a deep breath, he looked at his fingers once more and then at Regulus and then at his fingers again. "Some families hit their children, Reg. Like, very badly. Like scars and bruises and broken bones, just like with Lupin." Sirius' eyes had welled up, which didn't happen as often, and Regulus inched closer, mimicking his brother in every way as he stretched an arm around him and took him in his shoulder.

Sirius broke down. It didn't happen often but when it did, it was violent and it was devastating and it was probably worse every time. He clutched Regulus's front and just sobbed, every tear that escaped him staining his white shirt. There was nothing, in that moment, resembling Sirius. There were no posh elements, no snarky remarks, no high posture. It was Sirius, his own brother, desperately holding onto Regulus like he would disappear and tearing his eyes apart with every soft gasp for air, with every wrenched cry as more and more tears escaped him.

"Shhh, Siri, it's alright, it's okay..." And what was Regulus supposed to do? Why Sirius had such a hard time processing what appeared to be a problematic family dynamic was beyond his comprehension. Why his brother was so in shambles about some guy he met the past eight months escaped him.

"H-he...James..."

"Shhh, don't say anything right now. Just...just calm down, alright?" Regulus did his best to stroke his hair (which he just noted had become significantly longer), did his best to not tense up too much, but he was no Sirius. It was an unavoidable fact that he couldn't provide his brother what his brother provided him.

Finally, he seemed to have left out whatever burden was in him, his sobs had downgraded to soft sniffles and he managed to pick himself up, stroking away his own tears.

"Look, I, James and I...we, he really, he..." Sirius took another deep breath and turned to Regulus, his hand grasping his shoulder like what he was about to say was important. "James pointed out that families should...not hit their children...or dismiss them, or- or make them feel unwanted or threaten them or anything that our mother and father, our parents have been doing for ages and-"

"No."

"Regulus, they're not suited to be parents...at all. James-"

"Stop it, Sirius." Regulus had stood up, not daring to face his brother. What he was suggesting was preposterous, was out of line.

"It was hard for me to accept too...but talking vehemently to your own children is as bad as hitting them, and mother has been doing both." Sirius had stood up too, his hand had once again found its way to Regulus's shoulder.

"To you! Because you won't...you won't bloody behave! Because you want to be exceptional and unpredictable and a bloody rebel every step of the way!" He let out a breath. Then another one. It didn't help calming the firing pit in his stomach, so he just went on with it. "You used to have a great relationship with them both before Potter came into your-our lives, because let's be honest, he's the one who's subjecting you to, what-" he had approached the Gryffindor pin, "House pride that has no place in this house!"

"Reg,"

"No! And, and the worst thing is, you believe him, everything that he- oh that's why you wouldn't speak to me?" Regulus could practically hear the smoke coming out of his ears and the sorry expressions his brother was giving him were to no avail. "Wonderful, no, I'm sure he will be a much better brother after you get yourself disowned for, for, for getting expelled or for taking muggle studies or for turning your own bloody brother in!"

"You're not, you're not listening!" Sirius interjected, fast approaching Regulus and taking the pin he had so rudely misplaced out of his tremoring hands. "Mother dearest is breaking us apart, breaking our morals, our pride, our codes, our...our bloody everything, Reg! She isn't a good mother, and don't, don't dare to take father out of this either, just because he's your favourite. No, he is turning a blind eye, he's the one calling her everytime he can't handle us."

All air was punched out of Regulus as he listened to his brother listing off all the terrible (his words) things their parents had allowed.

"Like, like that one time she made you eat a nut when you're allergic to them and watched you suffocate just because you admired a TV. Or, or when she threw me off my broom just because I had forgotten to put it away after practice. Or, here's a good one, when she bloody threw you in the sea back in Normandy and expected you to just swim, just because I had." Sirius bargained, taking a step every time he listed something off, carefully approaching as if Regulus was a scared cat that would sprint off any minute now.

"The last one is more your fault, really. She wouldn't have thrown me in if you didn't swim like you were born in water." From the very corners of Regulus's mouth, appeared a thin smile, one which only Sirius could pick. And pick he did as he engulfed Regulus in his arms, a warm and tight hug, only what the moment called for.

"You still watch nightmares about that, Arctie. It's kinda funny." Sirius gave him a more hearty smile, a toothy one that was contagious.

The two brothers stayed like that for a while, and for a moment, it didn't matter that Sirius believed their parents to be abusive, it didn't matter that Regulus believed their parents to be without flaw. It only mattered that it was just the two of them, a private moment full of sincerity, and it only mattered because it was them against the world.

 

They still had so much to solve though, and it would come to bite later, left bitterness is a good developer of revenge and the water had already rippled out.

Chapter 14: Summer of 1971: Water

Summary:

This took,,, a while, but enjoy!! We're getting a snippet of Regulus's water related trauma.

Notes:

CW for water and mention of thunderstorms

The trip wasn't as tiring as Regulus remembered it all those years ago, his mind had exacerbated it, magnified it and portrayed it as something that it wasn't. He hadn't looked forward to travelling in complete silence along his father and brother, but surprisingly, Sirius managed to behave himself, and his father seemed contempt enough on those terms.

The great Channel extended in front of them, succeeded by endless hills and valleys, which were in turn succeeded by their manor in Normandy. It was a rather strict looking house, but nothing like Grimmauld Place. The exterior was white embellished with all sorts of gargoyles and statues of a bygone era, and there was a peculiar silence that encompassed all, if one were to ignore the occasional chirping of birds.

One by one, the memories of his childhood came to Regulus like in a dream. The summer smell of wet dirt and the sweet sounds of The Orne, the river passing by their house, all combined into a nostalgic trip to the past. He could make out, if he tried hard enough, two raven-haired boys, running around the river, trying to cross it by stepping on its slippery stones. He could make out the burning sun of Normandy, always making his skin red and itching, or the smiles of his parents after he and Sirius would come back covered in dirt and grass stains-- they lacked those smiles the past few years.

It was all to be expected, of course, after the incident . His parents ever since treated him and Sirius in completely different lighting, their harshly delivered reprimands were part of every day life. Regulus couldn't blame their parents for thinking it was all Sirius's fault, he was after all tasked with looking after him (the awful responsibility of the 'eldest son').

"Hey, I can't do all of this alone, come on!" Sirius talked to him, seemingly forgetting their respective grudge, forgetting how they haven't talked in so long. Regulus played along.

He walked in and the smell of dust and rust and mould hit his nose all at once, making him lightheaded. The main hall was still very dark, the curtains blocking all the light hadn't yet moved out of the sun's way. Despite that, Regulus could, if he squinted, make out a golden vase at the end of the hall (where Sirius and him had hidden their by-the-river rocks).

As their father moved the curtains with a swish of his wand, the rays came in blinding and Regulus closed his eyes out of reflex. He could hear Sirius complaining about it next to him, but he couldn't pay him any mind.

His eyes had immediately met the unmistakable flooring of his childhood home, a rather usual carpet with all sorts of snakes and thorny red roses. He remembers scratching his knees on the surface of that particular carpet, its rough surface was a difficult obstacle in their floor-gliding games.

His feet moved forward out of instinct, a relic of the past, a past he had repressed without knowing, was unfolding warily in front of him. As he moved, he saw the lines at the entrance of the door to the kitchen, delicate silver lines that indicated his and Sirius's height. He suppressed a smile as he entered the living room, everything where they left it.

The couch his brother and him were constantly trying to break (and probably succeeded in doing so at some point), stood proud and dusty, under some white sheets. The bookshelf where their mother would read them bedtime stories, Sirius's head upside down laid on the couch, Regulus attentively listening on the carpet. Their father would then carry them to their respective bedrooms, fully knowing that Regulus would sneak out to meet his brother.

His feet climbed up the stairs, urgency striked back and he was getting up the steps two by two. Like a starved man knowing there will be bread on the other side, he barged into Sirius's old room. The smell of chocolate and grass, old parchment and rotten fruit, as he had suspected. It didn't take long for Regulus to find the 'culprit'. Bowls of once freshly cut fruit, lying underneath his bed. He never liked them. Regulus didn't suppress a smile, he full on laughed, knowing no one would hear him up here.

Unlike Sirius's room back in Grimmauld Place, this room was much more compliant with their family values. And Holyhead Harpies posters. Some burnt out candles, the fizzle only what remained, some long misplaced socks that reeked, as well as elaborate treasure maps Sirius would make to lure Regulus out in the open to play with him were all signs of a little mischievous boy staying here.

Regulus couldn't ignore his own input to the room. His stress blanket that he carried everywhere until they left this place, drawings of Sirius and Regulus's star signs drawn holding hands, the journal he kept of his dreams. He really lived longer here than his own room.

He went to pick up the journal, trying to read it, trying to see if his nightmares persisted since that young young age.

"What are you doing in my room?" It was never referred just as his room, Regulus thought, but disregarded it quickly.

"Nothing...Just taking my stuff." Believable enough, as he was holding his journal already. Regulus managed to pick his stress blanket and a fancy pen his father had gifted him for Christmas once (it wrote with invisible ink!) until he hurriedly made it to his bedroom.

Closing the door behind him, he let out a sigh. Who could've guessed that this would be a trip to memory lane, instead of a boring cleaning job with father.

He let the loot fall from his arms and onto the bed, which squeaked despite the little weight. Regulus opened the windows, they made a horrible screeching sound that kept the hairs in the back of his neck standing. The fresh air of Normandy should be enough for now. For now.

×××××××××××××××××

The rest of the summer days passed in ease. They were all a bit lazy with their cleaning, leaving the bottom of their beds untouched, the top of the bookshelf misdusted. As borderline royalty, none of them had really learnt how to clean and it was evident.

The journal didn't have what Regulus thought it would. Entries of nightmares were long discarded, their place taken over by complaints about Sirius, Kreacher, even their parents. Regulus didn't remember being such a picky child.

Dear Diary,
Sirius was mean again. No surprise there. He keeps pushing me on the ground when I'm picking up flowers for mum and dad!
Also, I'm writing in English because mother wants us to learn it. She says we'll move there when Sirius and I become 9 nine years old. I cannot wait! Magic and castles and having loads and loads of friends!!!!!!

×××××××××××××××××

"Did you clean out the bedsheets?"

"Yes, father."

"Did you take out the trash?"

"Yes, yes."

"Sirius, don't give me that look, fix your posture."

Daily occurrence for Regulus was having to sit through his father and brother having the same issues for six years now. He was honestly growing tired of it, but he couldn't exactly escape it.

" Take your brother outside for a lie down, the sun will do you good, you're both very pale today." He instructed, leaving the two brothers staring at each other in disbelief.

"I'd rather stay in my room?" Spoke Regulus before Sirius could form a coherent thought.

"Orders, Regulus. Orders." Orion clicked his fingers and turned his back at them, probably going to isolate himself in his study again.

"Come, he never said we have to talk." Sirius pointed out, and it made sense to leave it at that.

It was one of those summer days you'd expect they belonged to autumn and they just got confused. It was cloudy and there were distant thunders which illuminated the distant dark mountains. The river stretched wider and wider, almost sensing the upcoming storm. Regulus instinctively grabbed a fistful of grass, as if the skies had plotted taking him off and away.

It was exactly like back then. Sirius and Regulus playing outside, the soft raindrops hitting their faces didn't matter. The had to see who could make it across the river faster.

They were training for this all summer, measuring how deep it is, finding secret spots where the rocks aren't as slippery, testing the precise velocity and angle. It was finally time to test the waters.

"Allez Reg!" Shouted a tiny Sirius, barely six years old, who had motioned to a respectively tinier Regulus to follow him along the river.

Sirius was always braver, always hot-headed, never put too much thought. Regulus was starry eyed, looking at his brother like he had cracked the code. Sirius took a leap, another one, another one and found himself in the middle of the river. The water touched the tips of his shoes, but it didn't matter, the grin he had on was blinding and Regulus couldn't focus on anything else.

"Regarde-moiz!" Had said Sirius, not really needing to tell Regulus to look at him, his eyes were glued. He took another leap and, while not losing his balance once, he made it on the other side of the river.

Regulus jumped up and applauded his brother, he couldn't smile broader, however hard he tried. His cheeks were hurting and his palms were aching from how hard he was banging them together, none of that mattered though. Sirius had made it!

"À vous de jouer, Reg!" Sirius yelled at him from the other side of the river, he clearly wanted to see Regulus succeeding in the task.

Regulus needn't be told twice. He took of his shoes, not wanting to spoil them with mud, and let his bare feet touch the cold grass. It was cathartic, to be so close to nature for him.

The storm was approaching, the clouds were now concentrating faster and faster, a dark spot just above Regulus had formed without him noticing. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and leaped forward.

Regulus managed to land safely on the first rock, one of the easiest ones as it was twice the size of all the others. He looked at Sirius, who looked proud of his brother and urged him to continue with chants.

Another leap! Regulus hadn't noticed the river slowly rising and inflating, the sudden thunderstorm that took place near the mountains made him jump in his place, but he didn't slip.

Regulus looked forward. He only had four more rocks to go. He took another deep breath, his concentration interrupted by the constant thunderstorm. One after the other, they succeeded each other like it was competition, and Regulus found his skin cold all of a sudden.

"Allez, Reg!" The distant voice of his brother didn't quite reach him as a thunderstorm hit closer, making a loud cracking noise that split off the skies. Regulus finally looked up and for the first time noticed the rain pouring down on him and the dark clouds that had concentrated, seemingly only above his head.

Regulus looked down, the tingling sensation of cold running water hit him all of a sudden. The level had risen up to his ankles and the rocks were no longer visible. His breathing hitched up and he closed his eyes, one last desperate shot at figuring this all out.

He should be confident. He knew where the rocks were, he knew because they had practiced so many times. He could do this with a blindfold on, a storm shouldn't come in the way!

Regulus closed his eyes one last time, a true need for a divine intervention. He took a leap and-

"Oi, Reg, snap out of it!" Sirius's voice brought him to the presence. It was annoying, how he was so vulnerable around his family. Regulus wished his brother could see him the way Barty sees him, cool and unbothered.

"I'm not in anything, Sirius." He pointed out, standing up and cleaning the grass stains off his pants. "And for the record, it's Regulus. Learn to say my name correctly."

"Oh sod off." Sirius gave him a dismissive scoff and let him walk away. So this would continue, it seemed, this situation with Sirius pretending to be God's disciple that will betray him in the end, Regulus pretending to be the trusted companion of this pureblood family, who will question its wounds once it's too late. Regulus wasn't aware this was the game they were playing.

Chapter 15: Summer of 1971: Haunted Walls

Summary:

No trigger warnings apply, mostly the explanation of the trip to France and some light Black brothers angst. My apologies for this chapter getting updated almost a year later (?) I just love throwing devices in water, it seems.

Since Regulus could remember, their parents always stressed the difference between him and his brother. As the first-born, Sirius had the pleasure of getting a treatment similar to his status, at least until he could speak, whereas Regulus had the pleasure of anonymity, of insignificance. Of course he was still a Black, still a pureblood and still a male heir with everything that encompassed. Sirius was the favourite but Regulus had found solace, comfort in being a background character.

He took advantage of it anytime he slipped away to his room, unnoticed, or how he made sure to sneak a dark arts book under his shirt from his father's study. The way he'd be able to let the hours slip by, doing nothing of pure importance while journaling, a pleasure his brother simply couldn't imagine. And yet, it seemed lately that everything good, everything he had looked forward to taking advantage of, was simply slipping away.

It was evident, how his father passed him in the halls, a small upward curve on his thin lips. He didn't miss how his mother was simply put not interested in punishing him as harshly as Sirius. Then again, she wouldn't have a reason to. Regulus wasn't a disgrace to the house of Black, he was not in the wrong house, he did not hang out with the wrong sort and, frankly, he still carried himself according to his societal position. Everything he had been taught, he was implementing accordingly, and it seemed that Sirius was doing the same, just in the complete opposite direction.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The weather was signaling the end of summer. A cloudy concoction where light miraculously reached through the window. A stack of unread letters from Barty, a smaller stack from Evan were rudely occupying the night stand. He didn't possess the willpower to answer them. Mostly, they had written about their own summers, respectively hating being away from Hogwarts, or not being able to practice magic. Barty had told him about a funny incident with a bogart in his father's study, Evan had written about Nicolas Flamel (??) and his endeavors. It seemed like both of his friends were spending summer in a very different light than him, who was stuck in an ancient house along with his brother and father.

Regulus had disregarded all of that. He was now standing in a dark room, illuminated only by a candle he had brought with. The blinds were too rusty to attempt open them, but he need not to. Muscle memory kicked in, formative years of walking up to the piano alongside his mother were handy now that he could barely see. He cautiously reached out for the stool, gave it a bit of dusting and sat down. Regulus did not need the guidance of the piano sheets, did not need to look for the keys or even conjure up the memory of the piece. He simply played, and it felt - despite the dust particles floating around carelessly - like he had not breathed since the last time.

It did not matter how out of key the tiles were performing, his mind was able to correct the melody, seemingly as if he were making no mistake. His fingers were slipping easily on the tiles despite the layers of dust, and the room was filled with strings of forgotten piece music, with colours and with melodies that only existed in Regulus' mind.

"What on earth are you doing?" The notes abruptly ended, they fell down with a thud and Regulus' eyes met his brother's in the dark.

"Practicing Quidditch, what does it look like I'm doing?" he snapped back, sarcasm dripping from his tongue.

"I haven't heard that piece in ages. How do you still remember it?"

"I don't forget easily." Regulus said with that snappy tone of bitterness. I don't forget how you pretend I do not exist in Hogwarts either

"Huh, mother burnt down the partition de musique a long time ago, said we either learn it or-"

"-or we do not arrive in London." A small smile was shared between the brothers. A memory of their mother getting absolutely frustrated with Sirius and his silly violin. She threatened to enlist them in Durmstrang instead, had they not learnt their lessons by next morning. Sirius had sneaked into, for the first time, in his brother's room, teary eyed, a horribly out of tune violin and an equally misused bow in both hands.

"Want help packing for Hogwarts?" Sirius made a move but Regulus' dismay was evident. He took a step back then, and Regulus didn't look in time to see his eyes tearing up.

"No need. I've already packed most." He vainly gestured to the stuffed suitcase. "I found this-" he said and handed Sirius a small pouch that was heavier than he expected. "All the magical rocks we collected near the river." He put air quotes along the word magical and refused to look at his brother. "They're simply broken glass that has been washed away. Probably muggle. You should have it, if you wish. I am uninterested in them." Regulus put on the facade of disgust that he was so good at and with a swift motion, kicked Sirius out of his bedroom and closed the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You may or may not know by now why I brought the two of you here." Orion Black stood in front of the two brothers, his voice authoritative as ever. "There's been some concern, as of Sirius' sorting. Our public image has been hurt, Sirius and you know of this." Sirius made not a move, only looked at his well polished shoes and never at father. "Your mother is more proud in these matters than me. She believes imperative that you get promised to some well-mannered, pure-blood girl, as you-"

"Never!" Suddenly Sirius was up like a spring and his eyes met his father's, blue vs blue.

"It's not a subject of negotiation." Calmly, Orion placed an arm at Sirius' shoulder. Regulus shivered. "Aquilla Greengrass, a member of the sacred-"

"No no no no! I will not be married off for- for whatever- what-ever reason mother has- I-" Sirius was stuttering and it was like back in Grimmauld Place again, Regulus' body locked as he watched-heard his brother come undone.

"I'm afraid we've reached past the point where you can make any sort of bargain that matters. Sirius, don't you see? The harm you've caused, it is immeasurable. Your mother and I are inconsolable." Regulus left a scoff at that, but neither men noticed. "I'm afraid it is either this or your excommunication, Sirius."

That made Sirius' blood-shot eyes meet his father's once more. He had stopped trembling and it was evident now that he understood the stakes. "But-"

"Your choice to make." His father now stood up -when had he kneeled down?- and gave a pat to Regulus, who considered it a pitiful excuse of acknowledgment.

"Just know that time is running out. By time I mean our patience. The way out I'm offering is much less painful, you see, you wouldn't have to get married until fifteen." With that thought, he left them both, not looking back at either while closing back the study's door.

Both boys festered in the silence, either unable to form sentences that would mean a thing to the other. Sirius' silence made sense, as he'd get married to a woman he barely knew. Regulus' silence was merely cowardice shaped as sympathy. He daren't admit it, but he was more terrified of the prospect of becoming the heir than he was for his brother's future. How was he to explain that? How was he to talk to his brother as if they're not avoiding the same family obligation? The weight crushed them underneath the silence and Regulus wondered if the position his brother had accumulated since birth was always this crushing. If one mistake was made, he'd be burnt off the tapestry, wouldn't he? And then Regulus, frail, untaught, uncharismatic would assume position. But simply, it cannot be that this is how disposable their parents saw them. Then again, it had been clearly stated.

"We'll be late for the portkey." Was finally what was said, as both boys went to their respective rooms.

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I put my back into it right before exam season so we don't have to worry about time for another month.

If you have any recs for pranks, future angst or pretty much anything, don't be shy to tell me. I've reached a horrible writer's block (can you tell??)

Chapter 16: Summer of 1971: Bigger than You

Notes:

I'm aware this hasn't been updated in some time, curiousity may have killed the cat but capitalism showed up at my door, didn't even knock, made a mess on everything and left.

I was busy making up my mind on whether or not this would be a happy ending fic and I decided it will be, only because I read Only the Brave and if this can make me bawl like a child AND have a good ending- well

Recognising your flaws takes time. It takes effort, willingly sacrificing blissful ignorance for dull reality. Regulus needn't sacrifice anything. His flaws were mirrored in the perfection of his brother. Standing there in his tailored suit and white tie, pointy and shiny shoes, all the grace of a Black, all the elegance of an aristocrat.

It's not like Regulus didn't possess the same virtues. More as if, everything was easier for Sirius. His entire life came by without fight, privilege served on a silver platter. His looks, his confidence, his easy smiles. None of that was easy for Regulus, who had to fight against a mask imposed by their parents, people who wouldn't know where to set the standard if Sirius hadn't done so himself.

“I look ridiculous.” He let out an exasperated sigh and flopped on the couch. Sirius was swallowed by the cushions and he ruffled his hair in a childish way, yet he never looked less a Black.

“You look…you look fine to me.” Regulus didn't know what to reply. He had looked in the mirror enough to know that he didn't look like his brother. He didn't resemble him as much as people around them thought. They didn't look like twins enough. No, no Regulus was every way less. Enough, just barely. Second, weak. It was very fitting of their God to make Sirius the heir. And they both knew it.

“Yeah you said that to aunt Merope and she looked every bit like mother’s hideous attempts at sculpture.”

Regulus let out a heartfelt laugh despite himself. “It was the frou-frou, made her look very last century.”

The two brothers stood there, unable to continue the conversation. That used to happen a lot lately, much more frequently than ever before. There was suddenly a rush of shame that ran through his blood and onto his face. He was ashamed and he couldn't understand why.

“Reg? Is everything alright?” Suddenly Sirius stood up, his arm flying to his brother's forehead, testing for a fever.

“Yes, yes of course!” Regulus stumbled back, feeling offended by the exhibition of affection.

“Sure?”

There was this eternal question in his eyes, one that was there ever since Regulus got sorted into Slytherin. Are you okay?And really, he was not. But his mouth was so full of everything he couldn't say and his mind occupied by emotions he was never taught to feel.

“Don't be silly!” The only reply and Sirius left it at that. A bug in the back of his mind reminded him that his brother never left anything at all. Maybe he had schooled his face better this time. Maybe he finally found a way to push in a way that didn't require Sirius to pull.

 

×××××××××××××××××

 

The ball was a simple venture into underage drinking. A little champagne never pushed anyone outside of the predetermined line. It was loud and polite. Filled with fake smiles and lovely hands adorned with rings and bracelets. He had come to hate every bit of it. Every polite touch and small gesture. Every brush of his shoulder or arm every time someone would pass by.

Regulus was glass-eyed. His brother was making small talk with another one of mother's connections. He did talk to Evan, who hadn't brought his weird sister with. He claimed illness but Regulus was smarter and Evan’s story was too easy.

He was possibly nursing his fourth glass when a woman with waist long hair, blonde highlights and elegant fingers covered by thin veiled gloves sat next to him.

“Narcissa.” He said, trusting his voice more than he should.

“Dear cousin, how are you?” She touched his shoulder and he visibly tensed.

“Lovely.” The Malfoy family knows the difference between a well mannered handshake and a stab in the heart. Most of the time, they're able to provide both with astonishing accuracy.

Narcissa had just gotten engaged and yet, she resembled every bit of the family she now was a part of. Her quick eyes were scanning every part of him constantly.

“I do not accept lies, Regulus.” She rudely occupied a seat next to him that he had reserved for Evan.

“Not a lie. I was merely being polite.” He waved her off. It didn't seem like the appropriate time to have small talk and he certainly didn't have the courage or the brains to entertain it.

“Sirius-”

“Not you too!”

“It doesn't bother you? Him hanging out with that sort?” She made a face of disgust, Regulus was sure, though he still failed to look at her.

“What am I supposed to do? He is the heir after all.” It sounded childish, out loud. “Despite this, father proposed a solution and I'm sure my brother isn't naive enough to not accept a helping hand. Especially when one is drowning.”

“My dear Regulus,” her hand found his back and he congratulated himself on not reacting. “you must be ready to take the reins, shall your brother fail. I'm not - of course not - suggesting that this doomed scenario is imminent, or even a scenario at all. But you know better than not having a plan b.” She was always caring, like a mother, if he could ever make that observation.

“He will not fail.” Regulus shot a warning glare to his cousin, whose stare seemed to be following his tensed hands that were desperately fidgeting. “He cannot. I may only be a plan b, but Sirius is less naive than you regard him. He wouldn't…let this happen.”

What was the ‘this’ he was referring to, it was escaping him. Regulus was certain, if only he reached further in, if a hand managed to reach his heart and ask it, it would have an answer. Narcissa needn't.

“Oh my dear Regulus…” She regarded him with a stare of pitiness, but didn't reach out this time. It almost made him feel worse. “I understand.”

And maybe she did. They weren't supposed to bring up Andromeda, the one that got away. The only member of the Black family in centuries to have been disowned. But this, Sirius being disowned, it sounded so far fetched, so far away and ridiculous. He was adored. He was the favourite. The heir, basically royalty. It was impossible, a scenario Regulus hadn't thought of and one which he certainly wouldn't entertain.

“So, Hogwarts day tomorrow! Are you excited for the second year? I'm sure you could make it to the Slytherin Quidditch team.”

“Maybe. I'm an adequate flyer. And they have been missing a seeker ever since you graduated.” He provided casually, as if he hadn't been training every day of the summer.

“You would be perfect, mon étoile!” She made a threatening movement towards his cheek but he was thankfully much faster.

“Ugh, don't call me that! We aren't five anymore!” Regulus gave her a shy smile and it was truly the first time he had looked at his cousin all night because she-

“You look exhausted.”

“Oh not you too. I already have at least five matriarchs giving me advice.”

“Wait, matriarchs? Are you with child?” He rudely pointed a finger at her belly, but she quickly swatted it away.

“No! Don't be ridiculous, the wedding hasn't even happened yet!” A terrifying blush occupied her entire face, so violent that Regulus' only thought was to fan her with a napkin.

He patiently waited her blush out, he didn't want to offend her more than he already had. The thought of Narcissa bearing a child was…upsetting. She was so young, only five years older despite always acting older, not to mention the fact that she had plans, to join the national quidditch team and play in the Olympics, or to be the next minister of magic or-

“Earth to Regulus?” Cissy’s eyes were caring, always.

“My apologies, what were you saying?” Regulus made a mental note to stop drifting in the pool of his thoughts around his family and turned his entire body towards Narcissa.

“It's not a child that is responsible for my unfit appearances.” She leaned impossibly close and put a protective arm around her mouth. “There are rumours of a man, a very powerful man, going around London. He is recruiting, building a cult, or maybe an army of people who believe in the cleansing of the Wizarding World from mudbloods.” Her blue eyes were absolutely fixed on him, as though she could read his mind.

“Cleansing?” He kept his voice cold and detached, as though he couldn't hear his own heartbeat, or taste his own blood.

“There has been no violent action taken yet, but I must warn you.” She sighed and her eyes closed shut for a second. “This Sirius situation, it runs deeper than Aunt Burga not approving of his friendships. It's a long run political game where Sirius must come out victorious. If he chooses the traitors over his family, I can't predict he won't lose the game.” Her hand shot up to his shoulder, shaking him whole. “I can't predict you won't have to precede(?) him.”

Regulus was lost. A vast sea was spread around him and it was familial hands that were pushing his head beneath the surface. A political game. A man recruiting followers. A pawn, never a king. This was what the urgency was about, then? This was why mother was so adamant, all of a sudden? She couldn't possibly let the heir of the most ancient and noble family of this world make a fool of himself so publicly. And it would be paid with blood, every reckless decision made by his brother.

 

×××××××××××××××××

 

“School night, huh.” Sirius said, not turning to look at him but instead gazing into the clear sky.

“Yeah. I wonder if we'll go by boat again.” Regulus didn't look either, despite how much he wanted to.

“Nah, that's for the first years only. I heard we'll reach Hogwarts with carriages this time- oh a falling star! Make a wish, Reggie!” Sirius closed his eyes and blew on his finger, marking his wish.

“What did you wish for?”

“I shouldn't tell you! It's not going to be true if I do. What did you wish for?” Sirius turned to look at his brother, who stubbornly had his eyes fixed on his star.

“I didn't know what to wish for.” He said, and his voice didn't betray him.

It felt as if he had grown during this summer, become a man, a Black. He felt it even more after that party. Being let into a game where you know all the rules happens to be a thrill he didn't know he needed until now. He should've warned Sirius. But he couldn't. For the first time, he was the important piece to a puzzle only he knew how to solve. For the first time, he came to appreciate what he possessed over every other Black, even his brother. And that was his brains, his problem solving, his innate ability to play the game. He just had to hold the pieces to his chest a little longer.

“Do you remember back in France, when we tried to make our own constellations?” Sirius asked all of a sudden, his body still fully turned towards Regulus.

“Yes, why?”

“They're visible, you know. Sirius and Regulus. They're visible tonight.”

“We didn't really make those. They already existed.”

Sirius sighed. “I'm aware, you idiot. I'm just saying, we never made those constellations. We can do it now. We're smarter, definitely.”

“Huh, maybe I am!” Regulus teased, sticking his tongue out. “No matter, you already have a constellation and so do I. Do we really need more?”

“Ugh Reggie, come on! Have some whimsy, will you? What's your favourite animal? Is it still a unicorn?”

Regulus let out a heartfelt laugh at that. “Of course! I can't believe you remembered that.” He made a show of wiping his eyes and turned to look at Sirius, whose stare hadn't faltered. “Is yours still a wolf?”

That seemed to shake something in Sirius. His whole body made a spasmic movement and he quickly hugged himself in an uncomfortable manner. “Yeah…sure. They, yes, they, he, they probably are, sure.”

“My bad, didn't know you were that embarrassed about it.”

“Oh shut up! You just know that a wolf definitely beats a unicorn in a fight.”

“I am not having the same conversation again! No wolf would ever attack a unicorn! They win by principle.” Regulus had also turned to face his brother now, face scrunched up in concentration, ready to shoot down any lingering doubts.

“Yeah but if they were to fight-”

“No!”

“I'm saying! If they were to fight, the wolf would win! Unicorns are too soft to fight back.”

“That wolf would be cursed so much…”

“So you agree!” Sirius made a snapping sound with his fingers in excitement and Regulus couldn't help but roll his eyes. “You agree! You think the wolf would win.”

“Realistically, they wouldn't fight.” Regulus took a long pause before continuing. “But if they were to fight, then yes, the wolf would probably win.”

Sirius shot up with excitement and started singing with all his might. “We are the champions, my friends! We will fight till the end!”

“What even are you singing with that off key falcetto?” Regulus giggled.

“How absolutely dare you, I have a beautiful singing voice thank you very much.” Sirius sat back down, satisfied. “Muggle band Lupin showed us one day. They're called Queen, but it's all men, no women. Isn't that hilarious.”

“It's not, nothing you ever tell me is hilarious.” Regulus said, barely managing the sentence before he collapsed from laughter.

Sirius made an offended sound and clasped his pearls in shock. “I will take none of that! I'm hilarious. I'm the funniest person you know, that's a fact.”

“Sirius, it's between you and the bloody baron, you come a close third at best.”

“But it's only me and the Baron competing?” Sirius said and right before he got the joke, Regulus started whizzing uncontrollably, with his brother following suit.

“I've missed this.” Sirius said after they both calmed down, both their eyes glassy from content.

“Don't be so sentimental, what would mother say.”

“I'm not being sentimental and I don't care about what our mother would say.” He provided, and it didn't sound like he would continue with that thought.

“I missed this too.” Regulus found the words harder on his tongue, heavier. “Will Hogwarts…change things?” He felt pathetic to ask. He probably was.

“Reggie… I want to be your friend. I want you to tell me your secrets and to ask me for help. But you don't do that. Why don't you do that?” And maybe it was because Sirius was always so vulnerable with Regulus, that Regulus never learnt how to be vulnerable himself.

“I don't have any secrets. Nor problems. I don't need your help.” Regulus lied.

“I see. Then, maybe Hogwarts will change things. But…” A long pause, that was never followed by a solution. Hogwarts would change things and that was that. And maybe it was also because Sirius only learnt how to care for Regulus in this home, that he never dared to do it outside of it.