Chapter Text
It was that scent again, that sweet, divine, intoxicating smell that had been following him all of his life. It was a beautifully rich aroma of bright citrus lemon mixed with a peach's sweet ripe juiciness, as well as the headiness of summer elderflower. It was intoxicating.
An Omega. His Omega.
Even before his mind deciphered what it was, his body always reacted to it. His entire body would tense up, electricity shot through his body, hitting every gland he had, awakening all his senses. He didn't know if there was an explanation of his feelings and reaction; despite that, he couldn't escape it.
He would lose himself for just a second when that smell intermingled with his blood, and he went into another realm, in a fog. It was so near, yet so very far. It terrified him to know what would happen to him if he imbibed in this scent as a whole, as he already felt inebriated and discombobulated with little crumbs.
However, like always, as quickly as it came, it went, as it never ever existed. His entire being always crashed down when he lost that scent. He would get moody, irritable - angry even. Sometimes he would think this sweet heavenly smell or this Omega was just part of his imagination, a dream he conjured up.
He had thought he smelt this scent in little hints with his previous betrothed, but it didn't last. It would come and go, rarely lingered. However, when it came, he was enthralled. His previous betrothed's beauty and the fleeting scent of what could be his Omega were the reasons he asked Marina to marry him. He had thought she was the one, even though he wasn't wholly convinced. He latched on to what he thought was his true mate because of a momentary smell.
One day, he was alone in a room with Marina, and as she tried to corner him during their courting, he didn't get wafts of that scent. When he finally stripped down to the bottom of it, and released his Alpha head out of his derriere, he realized she smelt nothing like his Omega. It was an unfortunate realization. The more he conversed with her, the more it didn't match. He didn't want to knot her, nor did he desire to bite her to make her his mate.
She wasn't the one, and Colin believed he would never find the one again. Therefore, he was grateful when the scandal broke out that she was with child, and it was not his. He then returned to travel the world on the behest of his lovely friend Penelope, basking in the many scents and omegas that enticed him. Colin remained unmated, for no other Omega had ever interested him again. He didn't believe in true mates at this juncture, and he was at peace with that.
It was also convenient since his rut cycle was whenever he traveled; this was by design. He disliked rutting in London near his family and friends because he was not the charming Bridgerton he usually is. He scared even himself when he went full Alpha, and he would instead do it in the company of strangers in another country than at home. However, the same story, none of it fit or felt right. He just rutted with whoever was convenient, and it was lifeless.
"Colin -," someone called out to him.
"WHAT," he barked before he realized he said that a little too loud. The music stopped as everyone turned to look at who yelled out at Lady Danbury's summer soiree. Lord, he had forgotten his place and where he was. He had returned from his travels recently, and of course, was forced to attend the first ball of the season.
He looked over and saw a frightened and hurt Penelope Featherington. Her blue eyes widened in shock, and her gloved hands were clasped in front of her. His heart sank as his body wanted to react and pull her into a protective embrace. He was not ready for that stabbing pain in his stomach when he saw her hurt features. He wanted to gather her and soothe her, to take away her pain. He held himself back, clenching his fists. They were in the middle of a ball, and Penelope was unmated and unwed; it would be a scandal if he touched her publicly.
He had always known Penelope. She was his dearest friend for as long as he remembered. She was always there for him, including during the Marina scandal. Damaging her or causing her scandal was out of the question.
"Oh Penelope, Penelope," he breathed, shaking his head, his heart beating against his chest in a panic. "I apologize. I did not mean to snap at you." He was aghast and utterly disappointed in himself for not reining himself in. His goddamn phantom of an Omega did this to him. "I truly regret my tone. Forgive me."
"Colin, I do not wish to alarm you, but the whole Ton is shocked at your outburst," Benedict somehow appeared next to Colin to whisper to him. A glance around the room revealed that Benedict was correct, and people were staring.
"I am well aware, Benedict." Colin was cognizant his older brother Anthony was glaring daggers at him from across the room. He was going to get a talking-to later on. Luckily, Anthony moved his hands to the orchestra to start the music, and like nothing occurred, everyone commenced dancing and conversing again.
Colin ignored Benedict as he quickly spun around to speak to Penelope, hoping to ask forgiveness, but she was gone.
Penelope found herself escaping the crush of the ball after being humiliated by the love of her life again. For some reason, Colin is consistently insanely irritable the first time they meet after he returns from his travels. However, he did not mean it as an insult every single time. She had deduced for seasons now that he detested returning home, especially after what transpired with his proposal to Marina and that entire debacle. He simply did not want to be home; it reminded him of the pain from before. Or perhaps, he just disliked her, and she should just accept that he did not want her company. She had always wondered if certain alphas just disliked certain omegas, but she never could prove the theory.
She did not want to think about the latter, as it would break her already broken heart. She found herself on one of the many balconies of Lady Danbury's London home and inhaled in the air. The ball was full of omegas excreting wafts of pheromones to attract the alphas that were prowling for a mate - it itched her nose. She disliked all of their smells, except, well, save one in particular.
When she strolled into the ball at the beginning of the night, she was keen to see Colin, discovering he had returned from Eloise. Balls are full of alphas secreting their pheromones, so before she went, she took suppressants in the form of tea leaves, to inhibit Alpha scents, as well as to avoid heats. She also partook in scent blockers which were part of her everyday toilette to mask her Omega scents. It performs very well for the most part because no suitors paid attention to her both betas and, specifically, the alphas. She also did not go into off-cycle random heats.
Heats are usually on a strict cycle, but one can never be too sure. It was extremely rare for an Omega to go into heat on suppressants. False heats are close to impossible. Thus, many do not believe in them.
Penelope remained unmated. She kept using her scent blockers and hid her scent to avoid attention from potential mates. She was waiting for her Alpha, her true mate. Always holding the hope that Colin was her Alpha… but he was not. She merely only reacts violently to Colin's Alpha smell. Still, she believed it was undoubtedly due to her unrequited love and attraction to him. Maybe she would respond the exact way if she finally unfurled her heart to someone else.
Alphas attacking omegas and blaming them because they went into heat were commonplace. Unmated omegas that go into heats are always highly in danger; some alphas are brutes and refuse to control themselves. Women were ruined easily like that. It was a vastly unfair position that Penelope did not want to experience. Oh, what ruins she could be in, if so.
However, earlier in the night, when she arrived at the ball, she was immediately attacked by that smell. It was him, Colin. That luxurious smell of citrus, sandalwood musk, and grass after the rain. A scent she could imbibe in forever. His scent was powerful yet soft at the same time. This continuously caused her to seize, her throat to close, her mind to swirl, her heart to explode, and most dangerously, compelled her centre to gush. Heat and wetness pooled between her thighs, spiking the air with a tangy scent of citrus, ripeness and summer flowers. This spiraled her into a panic. If any Alpha smells her, she was in trouble. Oh Lord, did she just moan ?
Luckily, she always brought extra herb suppressants in her reticule and quickly consumed the potent herbs. Slowly, the room stopped swirling, and she was sane again, clenching her thighs together to make sure none of the slick dripped. This rarely happened, only every few months or so. She abhorred that she had to consume more inhibitor herbs. Every Omega in the Ton was suggested that too much of these herbs could have dire consequences as it was unsafe, but she could not be an open victim for all the alphas. She did not want to be the buzz of the ton or show up in the daily news the next day.
Hear ye, hear ye, read all about it: Omega did not take suppressants, causing said Omega to release pheromones and unmated scent…. causing mass hysteria and ruckus with alphas at most honorable Lady Danbury's Ball.
Oh, even Penelope's Lady Whistledown articles could not rival. She took out her perfume and dabbed more scent blockers on her glands merely to be secure.
"Penelope!" Someone stunned her, rendering her to drop her reticule of suppressant herbs and scent blocker down the balcony to the ground.
"Colin!" she turned around in shock. "You gave me a fright! Oh, I've dropped my reticule! What am I to do now?" She glanced over the balcony. Her reticule was unharmed. All she ought to do was saunter down and retrieve it.
"What brings you here?" she darted around to see if anyone was nearby; they were alone on the balcony, which was unfavorably scandalous.
"Penelope, I came to ask for forgivess. You understand I would never be disrespectful to you," he declared with regret. "Although I have caused another misfortune, I can retrieve your reticule."
Penelope glared at him. She wanted to say, 'That is the least you can do, since you have been rude to me, sir, like clockwork when you return from your travels.' However, she did nothing but smile kindly and nod.
"You already apologized," she stated curtly.
"I did, but it did not feel right," Colin gazed intently at her. "You're angry with me."
"Pardon? I'm not—," she stuttered; she didn't think he would be conscious of her moods.
"I apologize again, please accept — but truthfully this time." He soughed apologetically, placing a hand to his chest. "I truly can not bear it that you are cross with me. Somehow, it hurts me deeply, I can not explain."
How dare he be so charming? Penelope despised that she could not wholly hate him. It made letting him go impossible.
"I have heard that the next dance is a waltz, your favorite, therefore may I have your next dance?" Colin asked; his voice was always velvety smooth to her. It was lovely hearing it.
Penelope smiled quietly. She couldn't believe he remembered her favorite type of dance. Colin could always make her smile, even when he was making her cry.
"Yes, we shall," she beamed. "Although you will not have to worry, no one will steal a dance from you, my card is awfully sparse as it has been for the last two seasons. Eligible for seasons, I am not."
"Nonsense, you're always eligible, Penelope," Colin enunciated with a hint of sympathy. Penelope was used to that tone.
She angled her attention to him and adequately rolled her eyes. "You are the only one who has ever offered to dance with me, Colin. Let us not pretend."
Colin frowned and immediately offered his hand, standing in a perfect waltz stance. "Then I shall forever offer," he grinned down at her, somehow doing an outstanding job making her smile when not a minute ago, she was bitter. He knew how to turn her tempers ever so quickly, for years.
"You are too good, Colin Bridgerton." she placed her gloved hand into his. "And an excellent liar." Even through her gloves, she could feel his warmth.
"And you, sell yourself short, Pen," he informed her chirpily, tugging her gently towards him, so she was nearer to him. "You, my darling, are wonderful, are you not?"
"Only you, kind sir, think that," she laughed, he brought such happiness to her.
The waltz they were supposed to dance to started to play in the ballroom. "Oh, well, since they are playing the waltz, we should have our own dance here, shouldn't you think? Away from eager mamas and away from the throws of pungent odors."
Penelope couldn't stop laughing with this man; at some moment, her laughter was the only thing she heard over the waltz. "No, we should hurry back inside before someone comes out and cries ruined."
Colin bemoaned playfully before nodding. Their hands were still linked.
She honestly relished his company and existing near to him even though she comprehended she would never be his and should stop yearning. However, it was admiringly soothing every period she was in his grasp while they danced or even held each other. She invariably wanted to be with him forever and nestle. He felt like a protective and warm cocoon to her. It suited being here near him. How did being with one person fetch so much emotion from her?
This man has broken her heart ever since they first met. All of the times weren't his fault, nevertheless. It wasn't his responsibility that she was upset that Colin Bridgerton was not her Alpha. She knew she was not his Omega. Why was she such a fool to continue to pine for him? To keep him close even as only a dear friend?
If she was his Omega, he would've fallen for her the first time he met her when he fell off his horse, if she was his Omega he would've asked her for her hand in marriage and not Marina.
Yet something inside her kept hoping. That silly little Omega in her wants this man to be her Alpha. However, she had to accept that he wasn't.
"Penelope, is something bothering you?" Colin queried suddenly, his eyes searching hers, concerned. "You're sad." He grasped their joined hands firmly.
"What? Why do you say that?" she was surprised he asked her that, considering she was laughing in abundance previously.
"I am not certain... I just know, and it is making me glum," his breath rasped as he kept his eyes on her, moving closer to her than they already were.
He slowly placed a hand on her cheek and gently stroked. Penelope's breath hitched, she craved his touch. This was an intimate gesture, and she had no inkling of how to respond to it. He was extremely warm, and she felt that warmth starting to trickle to her essence. Between her thighs, she began to moisten. She just took her suppressants. She shouldn't start to leak again. Alarmed at her body, she made a decision to leave, even if it crushed her to do so.
"Colin, we should not be out here unattended," she whispered, pulling her hand away from his, but he grasped it tighter.
"No, we shouldn't, but something is preventing me from leaving," his low voice sent a shiver through her. He gazed at her with intense green eyes that were darker than she'd ever witnessed before. It astounded her. At this moment, Penelope should know she should leave or suffer ruination. However, this was Colin Bridgerton, the love of her life. Her body did not want to go. She hungered to melt into his embrace. She belonged here, and neither seemed to pull away.
Unexpectedly, he hauled her into him, and their lips sealed. She gasped as her body exploded with chills. This was her first kiss, and it was from the man she's loved all her life. Through the shock, she was motionless. As if he sensed her fear, Colin kissed her intensely, swiping his tongue between her lips. This caused her to gasp, her mouth opening on its own volition, and he thrust his tongue into her. The languorous slide sent tremors to her body.
She was unprepared for the shocking heat and wetness it rendered. The air burned with a ferocity that could consume them both, and she welcomed it. She was panting and whimpering against his mouth.
When she had her heats, she usually sealed herself in her room and used any means possible to get through the pain of not having an Alpha. She would use anything phallic inside her, but it was not the same. She dreamt and longed to touch more of Colin and absorb his warmth - to have this Alpha stuffing her full of cock and his seed, knotting her in every heat.
She wondered what kind of Alpha would he be with her if he ever helped her through a heat. It was something she had always envisioned ever since she presented as an Omega.
He sank his head to softly nuzzle her neck and inhaled, he convulsed violently and she could feel him against her body. Never in her life had she let anyone close to her neck. Her neck was off-limits; it was where one gets bonded, mated, forever. One bite and an Alpha and Omega were bonded, permanently. Unless one died, but even then, it was unbearable. Penelope's heart swelled if there was anyone she desired to bite her and make her a mate. It was Colin Bridgerton.
She felt herself get dizzy as his scent attacked her again. It was unmistakable this time, the aroma of her slick building started to permeate the air. She knew Colin affected her; however, this was different. This time, her responses to his scent were terrifyingly potent and intense. What used to be raindrops of feeling was now a typhoon unfurling in her body. Shivers of panic waved through her like a storm.
"I don't feel so well," Colin abruptly communicated, his eyes growing wide, his jaw tightening. "I feel, I…" he shuddered. "Penelope…"
She had never seen him unwell. Was he nauseated because of her? Did her scent make him sick? She had never been so close to someone before, or let anyone near her enough for them to smell her. He looked like he was going to faint. She was worried for him. She had to leave him, maybe she was affecting him adversely. She had heard that some omega's scents repulsed certain alphas.
Was that her and Colin?
"Colin?" she gasped. "Are you alright?"
"Pen, forgive me, I…" he struggled to say in a low voice, shaking his head as if in a daze. Penelope stared at Colin, her eyes darted up and down his face as he began perspiring. Her palms touched his cheeks and she gasped. His body heat was scalding now. Even his breathing had changed. It was heavier, more labored. He was feverish and looked out of sorts in a deep stupor.
"Penelope," Colin growled in a low voice, even then, he sounded like velvet that cocooned her. She just wanted to melt back into him but her scent and his started to soak the space. Warm liquid poured between her as slick began to drip down her thighs, and she was horrified.
Her insides were boiling. She must get away. Why were her herbs not working today? She took two servings, she rarely had to take a third. Her scent blockers were also failing her, she could smell herself, and she could smell Colin.
"Pa…pardon me, Colin," Penelope tore away from him, spinning around to hurry to find her reticule, remembering she's dropped it. She needed it now, she needed to inhale these herbs as soon as possible. She escaped to the ball, not looking back to see Colin. She had no supposition on what was happening to her. She was worried to death for him, but she had to get away.
No, no, no, no. She could not be going into heat this instant. It's unimaginable. Getting wet because she was aroused and releasing pheromones, yes, but a full heat… incomprehensible.
She had to find somewhere to lock herself up and possibly ride this out alone. She couldn't be out in the open or have time to run in a carriage. She hastened away from the floor of the ball and ran to the first empty hallway in Lady Danbury's home, only to collide with someone. An Alpha, and a powerful smelling one at that. There is a hint of bergamot (her favorite due to Colin owning that scent) and leather. He seized her by the arms gently, so she didn't fall. She clutched her stomach and nearly doubled over.
"I-I apologize, I don't know what's happening to me," Penelope wheezed to the stranger, trying to catch her breath. She felt stabs of pain attack her core and abdomen. She fell to the floor, shaking uncontrollably. She couldn't stand. If she did, she knew her slick would continue to drip down her legs. She couldn't leave any trace of it on the floor, or Alpha's could trail her.
"You're going into heat," the man deduced, and as she looked up at him, he looked familiar. He was always around Francesca. It was Michael Stirling, Lord Kilmartin, The Merry Rake as Penelope so penned him in her Lady Whistledown articles.
"What? No! I just had my heat. This is off-cycle, I don't… I don't understand. It was infrequent to be in an off-cycle heat. This has never happened." Penelope exclaimed in shock.
There was a long silence before the man before her picked her up, ever easily, which startled Penelope. She knew she was not light and was highly embarrassed and decided to squirm in his arms.
"I'll help you," he voiced soothingly as he deposited her on the settee in what seemed to be the purple drawing-room in Lady Danbury's home.
"What, no!" she cried out, her entire being jerked. She didn't know this Alpha, yes she knew of him, but he wasn't hers… he wasn't Colin.
"Shush, we're safe in here," he quickly locked the door to the purple room.
"No!" She was locked in a room with a man she barely knew with a sudden full-on heat. She was ruined, utterly ruined. She started to sob. How did this happen to her? She was so careful, she always had her suppressants, and even when she didn't, this has never happened.
"Miss Featherington, correct?" he slowly questioned. She nodded, wiping tears away from her face, but they simply kept pouring.
"Have you gone into sudden heats before?"
She shook her head, tears streaming down her face as her body ate at her. She was gushing uncontrollably on her dress, stockings, the settee. Absolute searing pain stabbed at her warmth between her thighs and her stomach. She didn't know how to control it. She just wanted it to be alleviated.
"I've heard from omegas that sudden heats hurt more than planned heats, albeit rare. More so, if one is unmated. You're hurting, terribly so, and as an Alpha, this is unbearable," he said, his voice strained.
She has seen what an Alpha can do to Omega in heat. Still, she had never encountered an Alpha during her heat. Her mother told her they would be uncontrollable, but this Alpha was well maintained. Did he have a mate? Those with mates were more collected.
"I have suppressants and scent blockers for the smell…"
"You're also secreting such considerable pheromones. I have to mask it or other alphas are going to come barging in to attack and mate you," he explained earnestly. His face bore no humor.
Penelope's eyes widened in shock. She was petrified. "I'll be ruined," she whispered. "I… I never had heats that would attack me, why did it happen?" her voice shook when she asked him.
"Miss Featherington, do you have an Alpha?" his eyes searched her probably ugly snotty face. This was a sad question. Penelope wished she could say yes. For the one Alpha she wanted, well, it was a shame she knew he wasn't her Alpha.
How cruel was the universe to give her love that wasn't her true mate?
She refused to answer Michael at first because, if she did, her fears would be confirmed, and she had to let the love of her life go. Even though she should have done so years ago when she learned he was not her Alpha.
When she took too lengthy of a time to answer, she heard Michael heave. He tried his best to control himself, and she glanced back up at him.
"I'll ask again because I will not do anything to you if you have an Alpha. If you do, I will go get him. If you don't, I will help you. I have to," he pleaded. Alphas had no control as one of their purposes was to take care of an Omega. The difference here is that he was surprisingly gentlemanly in this situation.
Penelope bit her bottom lip before closing her eyes, letting her tears fall in both pain from her heat and in what she should have accepted years ago in her love for Colin.
"No… I don't have an Alpha," she eventually acknowledged feebly and with a broken heart, she continued to weep. She was shattering inside. She did not know if she was hurting from her heat, or the stabbing in her heart.
"Oh, Omega…" his eyes weren't one of pity, only compassion, and even an understanding. It was rare that an Alpha respected an unmated, unwed Omega that had a sudden heat attack, but this man did. She suddenly felt more comfortable with him.
"Don't worry, I'll help relieve you. I'll mask your scent with mine," he went for her neck, and she exhaled and covered her neck. Going for the neck and biting it meant that the Omega is bonded to the Alpha. She didn't want to bond with anyone except one, but that was never coming true.
"I'm only going to mask your scent. I won't bite you… or knot you. It'll still hurt because the only way it will ease you is if you get filled and knotted. But it will help. I promise." he then paused.
"You are probably terrified because you don't know what I am saying." He gave her a soft smile, and she nodded, still covering her neck. No one bothered to explain what ensues when one's heat is being taken care of by an Alpha. She just wagered her mother would only tell her when she frankly had an Alpha. Which, of course, she did not. She was silently grateful to Michael, who was willing to explain things to her.
"I just have to lick you where your scent glands are secreting," he explained, then his eyes dropped down to where Penelope was drenching the settee. "And there, so another Alpha can't smell you and barge in here…" he tilted his head. "Do you consent to this?"
The pain started to engulf her in the core. She needed something, anything, anyone to relieve it. Her entire body was wrapped up in absolute heat, burning at her, screaming for an Alpha to just relieve her pain so it would morph into pleasure. Ice slid around her heart, eventhough her entire body was on fire. She had no Alpha, so it didn't matter anymore, did it?
She whimpered and finally nodded. "Please…" she said as his head came down to her neck. His tongue darted out and he began to lick her, inducing jolts of both pleasure and pain to run through her. He then slid down and kneeled, to where her drenched core was aching and licked.