Chapter Text
He was lonely. They were only together for two days, but he hated not having the blond by his side at night, it made him nervous.
His father wouldn't leave him alone for over ten minutes- his mother less so, but he couldn't be angry about it. He didn't want to be left alone at all despite the disconnect he had with his parents.
He didn't know whether to be glad they didn't really talk much or akward that he couldn't think of something to talk about with them.
At least he knew they cared, they just didn't know how to show it and he couldn't really blame them.
Shoji didn't know how to speak to them either, wanting to go into a hero career after they spent so long trying to keep him out of the eyes of those who scorned mutants was something that caused a rift in their relationship due to their differing mindsets.
Then the USJ happened and they lost their minds.
They had begged him not to go back-he was their only child and they believed they had made a mistake in letting him choose such a dangerous career when he was so young.
The argument they had was terrible and he didn't speak to them for the rest of the week until his parents caved and apologised to him for their harsh words, that they were just deathly worried for him.
He had enough trouble just existing among others without the added danger of being exposed to villains.
He understood where they were coming from, it didn't mean that what they said hadn't really hurt him. Shoji just felt like he needed time to properly process what was said.
Then camp happened and he had almost made peace with what had happened when they were attacked. And then two days of his life were spent in a haze of pain, fear and anxiety. The only good thing was that he wasn't alone, and he felt guilty for even being glad Bakugou was with him.
Then they were rescued and his life had changed drastically along with how he interacted with the world and people living in it. Instead of just being worried about snide remarks and unnerving children, it had turned into a fear of touching someone and taking their quirk without any clue of how to control this power.
He was too scared to touch his own parents, so his ‘forgiving them’ talk was extremely awkward with the large amount of space he put between them. Though even his parents were worried to touch him, always around to give words of comfort but never a friendly pat.
They had another fight when he returned home- that had spiralled from his own talk of forgiveness of their previous argument to how dangerous that school was since he was kidnapped and hurt.
To him having this dangerous quirk forced upon him out of nowhere and that they had to sit around doing nothing until they could see him in the hospital with a broken leg. Him letting them know it was technically All-Might who had done it only made the situation worse.
'What if he wasn't there, Mezou? What then?'
That he had to wear quirk restraints constantly because he couldn’t control this burden forced upon him.
That he was suddenly so attached to a boy they hadn't even met- that they nearly had to be forcibly separated so that they could talk to their child in private. They were worried at how clingy he was and that he was willing to just go back to a school that had failed him multiple times.
For some stupid dream and a child who had to be chained up during the Sports Festival due to being so uncontrollable.
He cried because on the one hand, he knew that this was so absurd that he'd connect to someone like that, that he was willing to go back to a place that failed him so terribly because of a dream.
That he was being stubborn and ignoring the very real danger of a life in heroics if this is what his first year was like.
But on the other hand, Shoji definitely wanted to save people more than ever-to prove that he wasn't a monster like how people used to call him when he was younger.
To try and stay alongside the one person who seemed to give no fucks about appearance and helped keep him alive when there was no one else there.
It was a lot and he didn't want to admit that crying did give him relief from the stress he was under.
At least Bakugou kept in touch with him, though both weren't avid texters and would end up just sending 1-2 messages to each other over three days.
They called each other at two am sometimes just to listen to each other breathe after a particularly horrid nightmare. They weren't very talkative.
Shoji cringed at the phone bill, remembering the times he'd fallen asleep on the phone and was woken up by screeching from Bakugou's side.
The meeting with the teachers didn’t really help the relationship with his parents. They were initially very against him going back after everything that happened, but he told them that UA was probably the most qualified to help him deal with the quirk and at this point in time, they had no other options and he had no idea what the hell he was doing.
So they had sat on the decision for a few days before relenting and letting him go. They said that they were only doing this because All-Might may have an idea on how to control the quirk, having fought the villain for most of his life.
They wouldn't really understand how grateful he was for that decision. His parents hadn't spoken to him much after the meeting, upset that he was going back and that he'd hate them if they kept him away from his dream. They knew that they couldn't just lock him away forever.
Well, that's what he got from the way they suddenly kept feeding him his favourite food along with taking a chunk out of their savings to buy him a brand new futon. That was the second time he'd cried in front of them.
He knew they cared but to show it with a brand new futon- one that was expensive-that he actually fit on and was quite comfortable. His mother had also given him the grill to take with him to the dorms, if he ever wanted to have a fire made meal he wouldn't need to wait for the weekend.
It was such a lot and it only cemented the thought that they thought he hated them. That they had to give him physical reminders that even though they don't agree, they would always love him.
It hurt but he guessed his actions gave them that idea.
He'd make sure to call them every day until they knew he could never truly hate them for being worried for him.
XxX
Moving day was an uncomplicated affair.
His mother drove them over to Heights Alliance while his dad was the one to help him unpack all his things. Getting settled, they exchanged heartfelt goodbyes and he was left alone in his new room.
It was larger than his room at home and he felt a bit uncomfortable with all the extra space. It was comforting, being put next to Bakugou. The only real issue he had was that Kirishima was right on the other side and would definitely bring his merry band of foghorns from time to time- Bakugou would definitely be loud as ever.
He had nothing against them, they were perfectly fine when not grouped together.
Shoji had just moved his boxes to the middle of the room-he immediately stuck the grill in the furthest corner for lack of a closet-when his door was kicked open.
He whirled around, brandishing the box cutter with full intent to harm, immediately feeling guilty for doing so with the way Bakugou's eyebrows had raised. He definitely got spooked with the way his body was too relaxed for having a box cutter waved in his face.
"I guess you don't need help then?" The blond only had a second before he was enveloped in a death grip.
"I missed you so much," Shoji was probably overreacting.
A few pops before the other hugged him back. He felt so relieved that he just went limp, letting the other hold him up because he felt like being difficult.
A snort.
"You're fucking ridiculous," Katsuki gave him another squeeze.
"You guys okay in there?"
Both boys startled at the sudden voice and Shoji threw himself backwards to avoid any sort of boxcutter-related violence.
Hagakure was stood in the doorway, cup of tea in hand as other students began milling around.
They didn't even notice the others arriving, how embarrassing.
"Fucking peachy. Why are you snooping around people's rooms?" Kat-Bakugou lifted his chin.
"What are you talking about? The door's wide open and I wanted to say hi. I didn't know you two were having a moment!"
The disbelief in her voice added credibility to her defence that she wasn't sneaking around just to scare them.
He kinda wished they had a few more seconds to themselves. Shoji guessed their timing was bad to expect to be left alone when the door was wide open and everyone was moving in with the help of their families. He spotted the Seros making their way down the stairs.
Before anything else could be said Bakugou strode out of the room, most definitely embarrassed and unwilling to try and explain himself. Hagakure leant to the side to let him pass before taking a step into the room.
"You okay? I heard the door slam and you're holding those cutters really tight. Was he being mean to you?" Her question threw him for a loop.
"I-I'm okay thanks. You startled me when you came in. Bakugou was simply saying hello since we never actually saw each other since being in custody. He's just, awkward about it I guess," he heard her hum before she let out a giggle.
"He missed you a lot by the way he was squeezing the life out of you. But how are you? Those gloves look uncomfortable," he hated that change of topic.
He didn't like thinking about the gloves all that much. They had been put on him as soon as he had accidentally taken a nurse's water quirk. There was a lot of crying and shushing involved until Bakugou basically tore the door down to get them to stop freaking out.
It was a tense two days as they tried to figure out how to give the quirk back-finding out that with AFO he had managed to gain his own quirk, along with a quirk that let him make apples? No idea why AFO had that quirk when he couldn't even eat but that was the least of their problems.
They had decided that he should wear the gloves as long as he had no control over the quirk- it was safer for everyone.
Hagakure didn't stay soon after, spotting Ashido down the hall she took off with a backwards 'Bai Bai!' as she headed off and tackle hugged her friend.
Shoji felt guilty for the relief her departure gave him.
The rest of the day was a blur to him, Sato and Koda popping in to give him hugs and threatening to cry if he got hurt again. Sato crammed a box of savoury pancakes into his arms -" you don't really like sweets, so I learnt how to make these instead!"
It was so thoughtful, he teared up a bit.
He had gone to sleep after another session of just existing next to Bakugou after lights out, Aizawa skulking around like a wraith to make sure all doors were closed and lights were off.
The sleep wasn't as bad as he thought he would be, Bakugou popping in to sit in his presence and then getting stuck with him was a pleasant surprise. He was a pretty good heater.
Waking up, he found that Bakugou had already left, most likely used to waking up early.
The teen was accosted as soon as he left the room, the blond shoving him off to the bathroom then down to the kitchen despite his confused looks.
"Sit your ass down," he was stuck at the end of the table, far away enough that he could happily eat alone or pitch into the conversation whenever he felt like it.
Thoughtful.
Ignoring the cooing from Ashido, Shoji was bombarded with a full bowl of takoyaki with a glass of milk.
Nice.
"You made a frieeeend!" Ashido could barely contain herself as Bakugou slapped his shoulder before sitting down between him and his friends.
It was grounding.
Breakfast was pretty normal-and delicious-they left him alone and he just took in the soothing chatter. He thanked Bakugou for the food before clearing up, being stopped by a rough hand and suddenly Bakugou had stolen all the dishes, kicking him softly on the shins as the blond walked by.
Oh yeah, the restraints.
Shoji stood there dumbly as he watched his friend putter around the kitchen, grabbing anything dirty and shoving it next to the sink to be washed. He was about to go find Tokoyami before he had a tea towel thrown at his face, prompting a flinch that made the teen die inside a bit.
Hopefully no one saw that.
Thankfully, no one seemed to notice as they were all piling into the living room.
Sighing, Shoji shuffled over to stand next to his friend and waited patiently for the dishes, creating a few extra limbs so that he could pack the dishes away when cleaned. He didn’t have any issues when using his quirk to touch others-it seemed like he needed to use his main hands in order to activate the quirk. He was quite relieved, that meant that he could continue training with the others without fear of taking their quirks during something like a simple spar.
"You were up early this morning," Shoji knew they had another hour until class started, he wondered what the other was doing before then.
"I get up at five so I can do an hour of running and workout. Best way to make sure to burn up my excess energy-I'll give you the whole spiel when there aren't nosy bastards around!" Some shuffling before the chatter started back up after being called out.
A snort before the blond handed him another plate.
"No wonder you go to bed so early. I thought you just got tired of being around people," Shoji set the plate back in the cupboard.
"It's that too. I have a low bullshit metre."
The conversation stopped as Mineta scurried into the kitchen to dump a bunch of plates he got from god knows where.
"Thanks Dad!" Bakugou just missed swiping at the ass when he sped back out.
The two stared at the full sink.
It's not like they could just leave it like that.
Walking to class was a bit awkward.
All right, a lot awkward.
Whispers of curious students followed their walk towards class, some concerned while others were accusatory.
News about their exact part in Kamino hadn't had the chance to spread that far-something Shoji was grateful for. The only problem was the two completely different reactions he and Bakugou got.
While people were sympathetic towards him-talking about how his kindness was so great that he'd go through hell for a classmate, even if it was someone as problematic as the famed Bakugou Katsuki. That he must've been terrified during the grand battle between AFO and All Might.
They sneered at Bakugou, claiming that he pulled the other into such a dangerous situation for no reason and could’ve gotten him killed. That he was just a magnet for trouble and they didn’t know why they didnt put him in a separate room away from the other student dorms in case the villains tried attacking him again.
Shoji held his hand for the rest of the walk, ignoring any weird looks sent their way because Bakugou was holding his hand like a lifeline.
When class had started, they had all lined up at Aizawa’s instruction. Some looked weary at having a sparring session so soon after their classmates had gone through such an ordeal-others excited to have their minds taken off their worries.
Bakugou himself looked pretty happy about this. He must have been going wild with being unable to train with others or even use his quirk to it’s needed potential. Hopefully this would take away some tension from this lax period.
Aizawa had droned out the list of pairs, Shoji happy that he’d end up sparring with Sato. He knew that Sato wouldn’t hold back on him, but wouldn’t go overboard either.
The two had ten minutes to incapacitate the other. Five minutes none quirk sparring before a quick switch into incorporating your quirk. He figured it was to help them be able to have confidence in their abilities without quirks, lending more strength to their styles when they apply their quirks to it.
Squaring up, he was grateful that he was going for basic sparring, hopefully his grip wouldn’t fail with those damn gloves on. Sato gave his friend a large smile before gearing up.
As soon as Aizawa gave the word the two came at each other full speed, Sato taking up an aggressive stance while Shoji immediately went onto defence. They ducked and weaved around each other for the first minute before Shoji decided that staying defensive would do him nothing before ducking around a right hook and landing a good hit on the other's stomach, pushing him back some.
“Woof,” Sato wheezed before throwing himself into the fight.
They were more on equal standing now, Shoji blocking a punch before attempting to grab the other's arm in an attempt of a throw, only to have the other use his weight in advantage, going limp to throw the other off balance for a leg sweep.
It was a freeing tussle that Shoji wished he'd done sooner, something to help him trust his body a bit more. He’d bring it up to Bakugou since the other was always up for a good fight.
He almost missed the signal for them to use quirks-getting a scare when he was met with a beefed up sato as soon as he rolled up from the failed throw.
He immediately switched off his brain-overthinking things wouldn’t help him win in a fight. Two arms slunk into existence, helping him to smoothly roll out of the way while grabbing the other’s ankle. Sato fell forwards, saving himself by going into a sort of hand spring, forcing shoji to let go unless he wanted a face full of dirt.
He could hear Hagakure and the others cheering in the background.
“Three minutes,” Aizawa droned out.
Shoji couldn’t even register the call when Sato grabbed him around the middle and attempted a suplex- he would've been successful if Shoji didn’t have enough hands to protect his head and grab the other for a throw, going to pin the other down.
Except the other wouldn’t stay still and they ended up in some sort of wrestling hold, both trying to gain the upper hand.
Shoji felt so exhilarated-he hadn’t had a good clean fight in a while.
Until he felt that alien feeling surge up. Feeling it crawling under his skin like the unnatural thing it was. He could feel the quirk writhing under his skin, could feel Sato’s quirk thrumming as the other strained. Could feel the need to simply- touch it.
He let go, simply slumping down to roll away from the other as Sato fell on top of him. Mid roll the feeling had gone away, leaving him face down in the dirt with his friend’s knee digging into his back.
He hardly even noticed the time being called. Feeling cold with what had happened when he let himself slip.
If he took one of the others' quirk-he doubted he’d be able to give it back now. He wasn’t in the same vulnerable headspace, not as raw and open to suggestion.
He didn’t notice when everyone got worried after Sato released him from the hold but he didn’t move.
He definitely noticed when he was rolled over, eyes meeting with Aizawa’s tired gaze.
“You alright?” He could feel the anger only one person could exhibit at any time of day.
“Bakugou?” Aizawa rubbed the bridge of his nose before waving the other into his sight.
“He’s here quiet one. Could you tell me what happened?”
Shoji drew in a breath.
“Fine. take a breather, no need to push yourself. I’ll give you a five minute break,” and the man was gone.
Bakugou knelt down next to him before grabbing his sides, careful not to touch any skin, forcing the other up into a sitting position before kneeling in front of the other. They sat in silence for a while until he felt calm enough to breathe.
“I nearly fucked up.”
A nod.
“If I hadn’t noticed his quirk would've been gone, Katsuki,” he lowered his voice.
“I had let go and the quirk just, tried to take advantage of that-it sensed his quirk and was reaching out to touch it,” Aizawa returned, but didn’t interrupt.
“So what, you think as soon as you stopped paying attention it went into autograbbing?” Bakugou was never the best person at sugar coating his thoughts.
A nod.
“It didn’t matter that it wasn’t my main arms. It registered as if it were the same thing,” Shoji hated the tremble in his voice.
“So what do you want to do about this? I hoped it wouldn’t be an issue during sparring. Perhaps it was dormant until you used Dupli Arms, waking it up,” the man wasn’t as surprised as he should've been, though he looked grim.
“Perhaps asking you to spar so soon was a mistake, especially since our last theory that it was only activated through your main pair of hands was incorrect.
I believe that since it was a mutation, the emitter quirk treated it as a natural part of your body- which it indeed is. A foolish oversight,” the last part was whispered with no small amount of spite.
Shoji cringed, soothing by Bakugou giving him a quick pat on the head before slapping his thigh.
“Well, this fucking sucks. Guess we need a new game plan,” he loved how the other wouldn't let this faze him.
A hum.
“You two are excused early-you are to go to Recovery Girl and wait there for me. I’ll finish off the lesson here to give you some breathing time,” Aizawa gave Bakugou a stern look before going back to watch the rest of the matches.
Apparently he had made them continue with Iida acting as referee in his absence.
“Up you get you fucking Octopus, we’re done for the day.”
Bakugou always knew what to say in awkward situations.
XxX
He had needed the bathroom so had let Recovery Girl know where they were going before running into a problem as soon as the door shut.
“Heard of a little tumble you had,” that voice immediately spoke of trouble.
Shoji looked up to see Monoma lurking in the hallway like a creep-most likely waiting for them to leave Recovery Girl’s office.
He probably heard about what had happened during Heroics from lord knows where with the way he was scrutinising Shoji, sneer forming.
His classmates probably were just talking about him and Monoma jumped to the first conclusion he could- which was sadly the right one.
“How are you so sure that you wont just mess up and leave one of us quirkless?” Monoma’s voice pitched oddly.
“I swear I’m gonna rearrange your fucking face-”
“You don’t. But I’m trying, I’m going to figure out how to use this power so that I don’t make an irreversible mistake.
I can’t just run away and not try to make this power my own so that I can use it to help and not harm. You’ll have to take my word on it. I’m done putting this off, no matter how scared I am of it right now.”
Shoji was done being scared of himself and being around others. He was done shying away from touch and was glad that Baakugou was never afraid to give him a firm slap on the arm.
He realised that putting touch off would just make him more dangerous because he wouldn’t know how to control AFO. It made him dangerous whenever he took the restraints off.
He just hoped that he could prove that to everyone- especially himself.
Monoma tilted his head, eyes searching at the declaration. Then he scoffed.
“I’ll hold you to that. I have no qualms of putting a stop to you myself if you do something to my classmates. Or anyone, for that matter. It’s my duty to keep them from harm- in whichever form it may come in.
Keep your word or I’ll happily make sure you’ll never hurt anyone again,” he turned around and began walking off, ignoring Bakugou’s splutters of confused anger.
“Monoma,” Shoji hadn’t given the other boy enough credit.
“You’re a great classmate. They’re lucky to have you looking out for them like you are,” he had to at least let the other know that he’d do his best to keep his word, and that he appreciated not being treated with kiddy gloves.
“Of course I am. I’ve been gifted to them to assure their rise to greatness. It’s what they deserve after all!” A twirl, and the other was gone from their sights.
“He’s a fucking prick,” Bakgou sidled up to him.
“But at least he’s a truthful one,” the blond hummed in agreement, clearly upset that Monoma could do some good in any capacity.
Shoji loved his friend- even if he had a short fuse for virtually everyone not him or Kirishima.
“Why are you two outside the nurses office?”
They forgot that he was meant to fetch them for class. Oops.
He was sat in Ectoplasm's office-Bakugou had agreed to wait outside. Both Shoji and Kenage could feel his aura of displeasure through the door.
The teacher cleared his throat to try and get rid of the tension.
"I'm grateful that you decided to take me up on my offer-especially with how things have been going around here. I hear you've been more determined with your sessions with All-Might and that's excellent.
But we both know you didn't come here for quirk talk," the teacher shuffled some papers around.
"With the current unrest about the treatment of mutants along with the growing fear since All-Might's retirement, it must've been hard for you to try and return to a fairly normal life outside of class. I thought it was important to talk to you about self image," Shoji squirmed slightly.
"You're not in trouble, it's just been brought to our attention that you've had some trouble with those with no filter- especially those who have concerning takes on what happened in Kamino to push their own bigotry," Ectoplasm slid a few papers towards the child.
"These are simply some papers explaining self image and how it can affect one's mental health, along with some tips and exercises for you to help stave off any negative thoughts."
A pause.
"I'm not sure what to think about all of this," a hum.
"We can simply start with talking your thoughts on the recent movements and self image," Shoji was taken aback when the man removed his helmet-revealing a too wide mouth with exposed teeth stretching up to ears that were too low.
"When you look at me, what do you see?" The question was simple, but Shoji felt like he'd just walked into a minefield of a conversation he didn't really want to end up having.
Kenage was quite patient, since it was after hours there was no time limit on their session. He hoped that any bit of this conversation that could help the child in front of him, that would be a success.
He could see the same uncertainty in the child's eyes that he would remember seeing in the mirror whenever he got ready for school.
Shoji never thought that his teacher would be as open as he was right now-showing his student his very noticeable mutation when he’d usually kept his face covered.
“My mutation may not be as great as yours, but many people would find my face unnerving to look at for many years. I found solace in a mask like you have, and spent many years hiding from the world.
It took me a long time to be able to look at myself without comparing my face to other people out there. That it was okoo the way it was and that I didn’t need to change it because it was different.
Not many warmed up to my face, but I found solace in myself that I was happy that my mutation didn’t cause any medical problems, such as trouble breathing or seeing. And I’m more grateful for how I was born.”
The teacher held up a hand as soon as Shoji was about to speak.
“My own experience is quite different from yours, as is every mutant’s experience with self image.
I do not know whether you were mocked or feared to have your face covered by your mask-I only hope that it doesn’t consume your life when you are out of the company of others. That you can let it down when you are alone and you don’t feel disgusted by your face."
Shoji deliberated for a while.
“I started wearing this mask when I had scared a little girl. It hurt a lot that I caused her such fright. I never wanted to scare another like that ever again-so I had decided to wear this mask whenever I was around people.”
An understanding nod.
"I see, and what do you do when you’re alone? How did you feel about your face then?”
“I honestly thought that though it wasn’t quite ordinary, it was still my face. I was simply born like that and my parents had no issue with it.”
“And how do you feel now?” His teacher leant forward.
“After the incident. I have felt something wrong under my skin. I feel like I could become what the little girl had seen years ago-especially now when I look in the mirror.
My mouth was never an inviting scene, with the corrosive quirk, I feel that I could end up looking the part to some who don’t know me. Those who only know what quirk I carry.
I know my face isn’t that conventional, but with the recent happenings, I feel like my face was simply a warning of what was to come.
That I had looked scary to others, but now I actually have a quirk that cements their fears. It was something I had always feared, that I wouldn’t be able to show people I wasn’t a danger, that when they looked at me, they’d see nothing but a helpful hand.”
He hadn’t actually said those fears aloud, worried that they’d be confirmed. He had his parents and friends who had always told him they were unfounded, but he'd always wondered what the children would think of him.
If he saved them with a dangerous quirk and a face that wasn’t exactly normal.
“It's normal to feel like you’re scary looking to others. With how society views mutations now, their view on what makes a good citizen and hero is quite….abysmal.
Why do you think there are a lot of mutants that end up being villains? They’re people who never had any support and didn’t have the drive or self love to prove those people wrong. Which in itself is a problem.
One shouldn’t have to constantly prove that they’re good citizens because of their looks. I understand people being judged on how they act- but even then, if society doesn’t allow them to change with support, they’ll create the monsters they claim to never want. It’s a terrible cycle that needs to be broken.”
Shoji stared at his feet.
He understood where Ectoplasm was coming from. But it was much harder to apply that thought to himself. It didn't feel right when he could always feel the sickly humming of the quirk under his skin. How he knew he could just render someone quirkless with a simple touch.
"All you have to do is think about it. There is no rush," Ectoplasm put his helmet back on before giving the child an encouraging smile.
"Things like this take time. Now, your friend is probably about to explode by having you out of his sight for so long. I can hear his teeth from here."
They both stood up- the scraping of chairs alerting the blond outside and they heard impatient grumbling.
"He's a good friend. And he believes you deserve that good friendship," Ectoplasm said softly as Shoji neared the door.
"Yeah," the boy mumbled back.
"He really is."