Work Text:
"We need to talk."
Genya doesn't look up from the bike he is fixing. Used to the silent treatment, I don't back down, instead staring him down until he gives me an answer. I really shouldn't be here.
Genya's arms are covered in grease stains and marks; he's wearing a sleeveless shirt despite the weather and I can see the muscles flexing and moving under his scarred skin. A distracting view. I clear my throat and Genya looks up for a second, raising an eyebrow.
"We need to talk.", I repeat.
"I heard you the first time."
"So?"
"Then talk."
He lowers his head again, begins to change a few screws.
"Seriously?", I lower my voice, looking around for any clients that might overhear our conversation, "You know I'm not officially here!"
"What could be that important then, if it's a private matter between us?", he asks quietly.
I swallow hard. "Genya.", I say. "You promised."
His head shoots up and he gives me an irritated look. "Do we really need to discuss this."
I meet his gaze, can feel the crease between my eyebrows deepen as I look into his dark, familiar eyes.
"I can't keep doing this for you."
His expression becomes irritated, he scoffs as he returns to his work. It's unusual to look down at him and it's giving me a false feeling of security.
"Genya, really, I can't keep protecting you like that.", I repeat.
"What, you fucking threatening me now?", he growls, screwing the new screws back in a little more aggressively than before.
I take a quick step forward.
"You know that's not-"
A tall figure with white hair and a muscular build appears behind Genya, resting a hand on his broad shoulders. I shudder as Shinazugawa Sanemi gives me a cold look, then leans down to his brother.
"This guy bothering you?"
He says it quietly, but it's clear that I was meant to hear this. It's a great intimidation method, and sadly, it's working. The false sense of security is gone, replaced by utter regret that I came here as a civilian.
"I can handle it.", Genya mutters and Sanemi retreats his hand, giving me one last cold look before returning to the back of the workshop.
As I am momentarily stunned, Genya sighs, then grabs an old cloth to wipe his grease-stained hands on and gets up.
"Follow me."
I take a deep breath and decide to trust him not to lead me into a dark alley and get rid of me, following him into what seems like a storage room. He closes the door behind me, then turns around, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.
"So. Say what you need to say."
My hands tighten into fists and I look down.
"Why do you keep doing that."
"Why do you keep coming back?", he retorts, knowing exactly what I mean.
"You're avoiding the question.", I mutter angrily, eyeing his relaxed face.
"Could say the same about you."
He comes a little closer, his height throwing a shadow over my face.
"You have enough evidence to get me locked up for ten years at the very least. Nothing is stopping you. I'm not stopping you. So why don't you do anything?"
I avert my gaze and bite the inside of my cheek. This is not going as planned and I am very much cornered.
"You can't come here to confront me and then not say anything, Tanjirou."
The use of my first name snaps me out of it and I take a step back, returning his fiery gaze.
"You promised.", I spit out.
Genya scoffs, pointing at me accusingly, his arms still crossed. "Now you're just twisting my words."
"Wha- I am not! You said you'd stop-"
"-if the people were innocent.", Genya interrupts me, finishing my sentence.
"That man was definitely not innocent, Tanjirou. Contrary to the police", he says that word with clear distaste, "I do my background checks on the people my clients ask me to eliminate."
"Oh come on", I say, my voice heated, "what could that old man have possibly done?"
Genya gives me a levelled look. "I prefer not to expose my client's childhood trauma.", he says calmly.
I open my mouth just to close it again.
"Tha- that doesn't justify killing people."
"What? So, if he's a murderer he deserves the death penalty, but rapists can destroy another person’s entire life and get away with it?", he asks angrily. "You and I both know that as long as the death penalty exists, what I do is not too different from what your kind does. Except I go after the right people and you are just scared to get your hands dirty."
The look he's giving me is one if pure distaste and it makes my skin crawl.
"If- if you say that, wouldn't it mean that you deserve the same as them, though?", I finally respond. "How can you put yourself over those you… eliminate?"
"Who said I'm doing that?"
I press my lips together, rubbing a hand over my face in exasperation.
Genya sighs, looking away for a moment.
"Look,", he then says, "you and I are after the same thing. We both just want to bring justice to our families, but we chose different ways. I can't change that and neither can you. So why bother with these pointless promises and fights?"
"The difference is, I want justice. You want revenge.", I mutter bitterly, still not meeting his eye.
Genya laughs; it's a joyless, sarcastic sound and I finally muster up the courage to meet his eyes.
"So you're telling me if you caught the guy who did all that to you and your family, you'd just calmly let him rot in prison for a few years until that fucker gets himself bailed out?"
I can't bring myself to answer; I wouldn't know what to say anyways.
"You and I both know that's not the case, detective."
My hands tighten into fists once more and I take a deep breath, closing my eyes as I can feel angry tears well up behind them.
Genya is silent for a moment too and the only sound that can be heard is our breathing and the occasional sound from the workshop.
"...why did you come here, Tanjirou.", Genya finally asks, his voice calmer than before with a hint of softness. I open my eyes again, looking at the dusty cement floor between us.
"I don't know", I say quietly, my eyes still wet.
The sound of a door opening behind me suddenly breaks the quiet and I spin around, blinking the wetness in my eyes away.
A teenager with long black hair gives both of us a bland look, then fixates his gaze on me, giving me a quick once-over.
"What do you want?", Genya asks, a hint of annoyance in his voice.
The boy just looks at him with his dull eyes, then blinks and looks back at me.
"..he a cop?", he then asks, directed at Genya but still looking at me.
"Damnit, did Nemi send you to spy on us or what?", Genya growls. "This is none of your business, kid. I've got it under control."
"'M not a kid.", the boy mumbles, skimming his eyes across me one last time. Then he leaves, the door closing with a click behind him.
Genya stares at the closed door angrily, then grabs my arm. I suppress a yelp as he tugs me out of the room, through the back of the workshop and outside. We stop between the garage and the workshop, the two walls leaving a little square where Genya drags me.
"We won't get any privacy in there.", he mutters, finally letting go of my arm.
It's cold outside and it's raining again, just like yesterday evening. I can feel my lungs tighten at the memory of the crime scene, my body remembering how my heart stopped beating for a second when I saw him there.
The rain runs down Genya's exposed arms and makes his shirt cling to his fair skin. I pull my jacket tighter around myself, then look up to meet his eyes again.
"You didn't answer my question.", Genya states calmly.
"Are you gonna make me?", I ask before I can think about what I'm saying.
Genya just looks at me for a moment, considering, then leans his head sideways.
"I don't think I could make you do anything you don't want to do.", he hums.
I make a little sound of acknowledgement and we both stand in silence once more, the rain falling heavily between us.
Images of last night are beginning to come back to me, the wet street reflecting the red and blue lights of the ambulance, the paramedics carrying out a body bag through the pouring rain...
"I thought maybe you'd want to answer the question, though.", Genya suddenly says, way softer than before, and takes a step towards me. "Consider your feelings and values. Get clarity on what you want and why.", he explains.
Taken aback, I think back to my reaction upon spotting him at the crime scene. The way my heart stopped for a moment as I recognized him, the emptiness I felt when realizing what must've happened. Was that really anger, the feeling of betrayal, of a broken promise causing my heart to clench, my lungs to restrict?
"I- I don't know what I want. Or what I feel, for that matter.", I say slowly.
"But I know that...", I take a deep breath, "what you do is wrong." I can feel my eyes begin to water again and turn away a bit to hide the wetness in them. "But I just care too damn much about you to ever actually blame you, and I hate the way it makes me feel."
The words rush out of me now as my voice grows more desperate in tone. "I know it's not your fault and you didn't chose this life because you wanted to. I fucking know you had no choice but that doesn't excuse your actions, except to me, you'll always be innocent, so being around you just makes me question everything, my job, my idea of justice, my personal values! And, and I hate being around you so fucking much, because despite all of that, despite how terrible it makes me feel, I care so deeply about you that it hurts-"
"Tanjirou-"
"And I can't do this anymore", I sob quietly. "All of this uncertainty is killing me and not knowing whether I'll come to work the next day to see you arrested, or, or worse, it would break me, although I know it would be right-"
I am surrounded by a strong pair of arms all of a sudden, not hugging me, but simply giving me something safe and warm to hold onto and I lean into Genya’s touch, trying to get my breathing under control as tears still run down my face.
"I just... I hate how much I care about you.", I whisper, and Genya tenses up a tiny bit.
"...I'm sorry for making you feel this way.", he finally says, rubbing a steady hand up and down my arm as I struggle to calm down.
"'S not your fault.", I mumble. "'S the damn system."
We stand in silence for a moment; I'm still leaning against Genya's chest, his fingers are still tracing gentle patterns over my arm. The rain is seeping through our clothes and I begin to feel the chill of the wind.
"This is messed up."
I look up at him, squinting through the raindrops. His expression is strained, hard to read, but there's a tightness around his mouth and a faraway look in his eyes.
"What exactly?", I ask.
"I- I don't know, this entire thing we have.", he inhales deeply and his lips touch the top of my head ever so slightly as he says, "I just wish we could've met under different circumstances. In a different life. Because I keep hurting you and I hate that and you hate what I do but- I can't just stop because I didn't choose this. I, I need you to understand that I don't want this either."
"I know.", I say, "but that doesn't make it easier for me."
Genya sighs. ''I know. And I understand. But is there really anything we can do about this?''
''As long as we don't learn to stay away from each other, no.''
''Would- Do you want us to?'', he asks after a moment.
I consider his question.
''No'', I admit quietly. Genya hums and separates from me a bit.
''I don't think I could, if I'm being honest.''
Our eyes meet again and my heart rate picks up, reminding me of a time before this, of warm summer evenings spent outside, doing homework and sharing ice cream. Of blushing every time our hands touched.
Of getting out of school and running through the rain, laughing, sharing Genya's jacket as he holds it over our heads. I blink, and for a moment the person in front of me is still the wild but gentle teen I've known for so long. I blink again and the rain seems to wash this image away, but I get lost in the same dark eyes.
And for a moment there is the foolish dream that one day, another warm summer evening will reunite us, bringing back our innocence with it. For now, there is rain, still engulfing us in its hug, but Genya's small attempt at a smile as he takes my hand lights a tiny spark of hope in my heart.