Chapter Text
You couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it happened, or how, but at some point during your 7th year you developed a highly embarrassing crush on your defense against the dark arts teacher. Of course you took note of his appearance at the start of the year, as he was hard to miss. Standing at a staggering height he was curiously handsome and rugged, with scars adorning his slightly freckled face. But it wasn’t until later during the year when you felt actual feelings for the man, feelings that made your heart race every time he spoke, your stomach flip when he addressed you, and which caused you to constantly embarrass yourself in front of him.
Let’s go over an example:
Shortly after returning from your holiday break, you were still somewhat oblivious to your brewing feelings. On this day for whatever reason, you ended up being early to his class and were the first one there. It was unusual for you to be alone anywhere, as you were usually flanked by your best friend and Quidditch teammate, Oliver Wood. But that day you beat even Professor Lupin to the classroom, so you sat at a desk quietly going over your notes. He entered the room through his offices and you looked up and made eye contact with him. As you did, to your surprise, an unusual feeling washed over you that you could only describe as a minor explosion within your chest. His green eyes had flecks of gold in them that you found absolutely stunning, maybe the light was hitting them differently today? And he hadn’t put his robes on over his clothes so you could see him wearing the hell out of a fitted button down with a single button undone at the top. Holy nargles, he looked hot.
You stared at him for maybe a year, at least 30 seconds, before realizing he had spoken to you. A furious blush came over your face as you asked, “Sorry, what was that?”, with a timid smile.
“It’s alright, just, you’re here early, Ms. Y/L/N,” he smiled warmly back.
“Yes…” You replied lamely, you couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
He sat down at his desk, you noticed he had put his robes on, probably while you had blacked out briefly earlier. “Did you have a nice break?” He asked.
“Yes…” you smiled and nodded, your heart pounding in your throat. Fucking hell, say something else!
You finally managed to get out, “Erm, did you? Have a nice break?”.
“Yes…” He replied, copying your tone with a slight smirk. Was he making fun of you?
You both broke into a short bout of laughter, acknowledging his mimicry.
“Sorry, I’m a bit out of it today,” you mumbled, still embarrassed.
“That’s okay, we all have those days. Just yesterday, I forgot I had hot water on for tea for about 4 hours,” he chuckled. You laughed with him, but your mind wandered to what could get Professor Lupin so distracted. “Drawback to living alone, I guess, no one to keep you accountable. You have one bad day and you might set your house on fire.”
You swallowed hearing him share that he lives alone. A man like that doesn’t have a partner? You saw his own cheeks dust pink as he seemed to notice the shift in energy, or maybe he felt like he overshared.
You recovered with a quip, “Well it’s good you’re back at school then, unless you plan on committing arson at Hogwarts, that is.”
He chuckled again and shook his head, his smile reaching the corners of his eyes. You both looked at each other for a moment but then quickly glanced away. Then, your attention was drawn to the entrance of the classroom when Oliver burst through the door.
“Y/N! Where have you been all day?”
“Around.” You shrugged, a sinking feeling came over you, perhaps disappointment that your alone time with Lupin was over.
“Could you come out in the hall for a minute? I have to show you something.”
You moved to stand up, but your skirt got caught on the desk chair. As you pulled yourself away it flew up giving an unintentional show to your professor and friend.
“Shit!” you cursed, but then covered your mouth. Oliver snorted trying to hold in his laughter. You booked it on out of the classroom with burning cheeks, too afraid to look back at your professor’s face.
Highly embarrassing stuff. Oh, and that one time. How could you forget?
This time you were the last one in the classroom, taking a while to gather your things after a practical lesson on Patronuses. You still hadn’t been able to produce one which had you frustrated, and you were somewhat flustered trying to rush off to your next class. After finally getting your bag packed, you pulled it from the ground not realizing the strap was caught underneath the desk (these desks will be the death of you). The contents of your bag went flying and the desk toppled over, knocking you off your feet. You sat there on your butt, stunned and motionless for a moment before you remembered your dreamy professor just saw the whole thing. You tried to sweep your things in your bag, return the desk to its upright position, and get out quick, but he rushed over to help. He asked if you were okay only to find you chuckling. He couldn’t help but join in and the two of you were giggling uncontrollably. After a minute or so, your bag was packed and he helped you up to your feet. As he did you felt his calloused palm in yours and it felt like he was squeezing your heart rather than your hand. He was looking at you with an intense, unreadable gaze. You’d be surprised if he couldn’t hear your heart for how loud it was pounding.
“What is it?” You asked somewhat nervously under his stare.
The corners of his green eyes crinkled, “You have a splash of ink…right there.” He pointed to your cheek. Your bloody inkwell must have splattered in the whole debacle.
“You weren’t going to tell me?”
“I was debating on letting leave and seeing how far you’d get until you found out,” he smiled deviously.
You gasped incredulously but couldn’t hide your smile in your fake anger. You tried to wipe the ink smudge away. “That better?”
“No…much worse” he smiled again, holding back more laughter. You knew you looked like an idiot but Merlin, how you could get lost in that smile. You bit your lip and looked up at him, barely containing your own chuckles.
“Here, let me help” He grabbed a tissue from his desk and started wiping the area clean. His left hand came to rest under your chin as he moved his other gently on the side of your face. You continued to look up at him, frozen from feeling his warm touch and his figure so close to your own. Your body betrayed you and you started to blush, which he obviously noticed due to your proximity. He dropped his hands quickly and handed you the tissue, which you were sorely disappointed by.
“You can probably take it from here” he smiled awkwardly and ran a hand through his thick sandy hair as he retreated back to his desk.
“Thanks…” you replied breathlessly. You kept wiping at the ink and finally turned to him to ask if it was gone. “This okay?” You shrugged your shoulders in question.
“Perfect.” He answered in a quiet voice while holding your gaze.
Your stomach did a somersault at his answer, your head swimming with the desire for him to say that again.
“How do I know you’re not lying to me though, you did want me to go out and embarrass myself earlier?” You broke the tension with a joke.
“You’ll just have to trust me.” He smirked as you started to head towards the door.
You felt stupid, as you so often did in his presence. But you had a feeling he didn’t show this carefree side to everyone. And what you would give to have him call you perfect under any other circumstances. Yes, you felt stupid, but you were lucky. You smiled to yourself as you exited his classroom.
In between the mortification, you had some redeeming moments and occasions when you weren’t making a fool of yourself. These were the moments you realized he was not only your handsome and intelligent professor, but a deeply kind and caring man. He even offered to write you a letter of recommendation to St. Mungo’s as you were starting your job search for a career as a healer. So, it was quite a shock to you to find out that your teacher, aka your highly embarrassing crush, was a werewolf.