Actions

Work Header

My Rent Is Paid

Summary:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROG

 

A Not Serious Boba Dongho Body swap AU

Notes:

Work Text:

When your roommate's cat's head starts appearing in a cloud of swirls in your dreams, there's seriously something wrong. Minsoo woke to an unpleasant start the morning after a night out with "the boys," as he enjoyed calling them. A ball of fur in his throat and the distinct smell of cat in his nose was what shocked him into consciousness, not to mention the rumbling lump that perched itself on his chest.

 

The lump, too, awoke suddenly when Minsoo shifted in surprise, "Meow?"

 

"Boba, get the fuck off me."

 

"....."

 

Boba wastes no time in extending his claws into Minsoo's skin. With a screech, Minsoo quickly realizes that Dongho's cat is going fucking ballistic. 

 

Daehyun walks into the room just as astounded, a Red Delicious beaten to a pulp on the interior in an attempt to make applesauce in his hand. Boba hasn't gotten the zoomies in over two years, why the hell is he clinging onto the curtains?

 

Dongho, meanwhile curled up in a ball on his bed, seems to care little for the fact that his precious kitty-witty is losing his mind all over the room. He sleeps as if his skin is clear and his rent is paid. Only one of these two are true, so Minsoo rockets over to wake him up.

 

"Your cat is having a stroke, dude.”

 

“Mph.”

 

“Okay, I guess,” Minsoo yields, escaping the bedroom while he has a chance. This, somehow, doesn’t seem to comfort Boba in the slightest, so Minsoo doubts the cat is freaking out because he allowed himself to sleep on his nemesis.

 

In a moment of weakness, he places an opened can of food down for the feline, dreading telling Dongho for the 24th time that he doesn’t fucking care about the special feeding routine. Boba pays the food no mind, however, and instead has begun to freeze up like a cat carved onto a pumpkin on halloween. If Minsoo were an idiot, he might have thought he was a statue. Thankfully, Minsoo is an idiot, and almost tripped over the cat while walking back into the room to retrieve his gamer blankie coated in chip crumbs and mystery liquid. 

 

Jaewon doesn’t attempt to comfort Boba, fearful of his claws and the power they hold. Getting scratched is no joke, he says, recounting the tale of some cousin or other that got rabies from being scratched. Minsoo thinks it's bull and that Jaewon should probably face reality once in a while, just for funsies. 

 

Daehyun ends up being the one to place the frozen cat on top of Dongho, who awakens finally with the sound of Boba’s protests as he darts off into the living room. Even then, that’s not enough to shock anyone. Dongho took him to the vet just the day before, as if he could possibly afford it when he’s living off of hot water and tangerines for the majority of the day.

 

What really scared Minsoo was when Boba didn’t even stop to flash his anus at him in the morning. Their daily routine, broken, after a whole year’s streak. Boba’s favorite part of the day is disrespecting him. Unless he’s dying, what could possibly keep him from doing so?

 

Then, to make matters worse, Dongho walks in, rubbing his eyes. Minsoo greets him there with a moldy piece of bread, “I think Boba is dying.”

 

“No I’m not.”

 

“Yes you a—Huh?”

 

“I’m not dying.”

 

“You’re not Boba.”

 

“Yes I am.”

 

Minsoo shakes his head. It’s eight in the morning, and way too early to deal with Dongho’s shit. “Whatever,” He sighs, “Go get dressed.”

 

“No!” The one hundred eighty something centimeter male whines, throwing himself onto the couch, “Tired.”

 

“Okay, you fucking Omega,” Minsoo kicks him softly, pretending not to laugh at his own joke, “Now get up.”

 

“I am an alpha. You are the Omega, Omega.”

 

“Okay, what the fuck are you talking about, go get dressed,”

 

“Let me sniff you.”

 

This is when Minsoo begins to suspect that Dongho has a secret stash of weed in his underwear drawer. He knew he was hiding something in there, but he just thought it was a diary, or a knife, or something stupid like that. 

 

Boba’s in visible despair as he watches the scene play out, as if his own reputation and the respect people have for him was on the line. 

 

Jaewon watches them, pleased. He’s the one that did it. It’s his fault. Why did he do it? Because it’s funny. And because Minsoo had the audacity to say that he should face reality once in a while for funsies, when he’s the one that thinks that the delivery people are flirting with him and his stupid cheeto dust fingers. How’s that for reality, Soo?

 

Boba seems to be shaking his fist—or rather, paw— at the world and the injustice of it all. What a cat has to worry about in the world, Minsoo has no idea. 

 

“Sniff me?” Minsoo spits, “Sniff these nuts, asshole.”

 

He spends the next three minutes shoving Dongho’s head away from his crotch, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to tell that he uses body spray on his nuts too. Boba seems to be on the verge of passing out as he watches in horror, and Jaewon whispers a silent apology to his hyung, despite not really feeling sorry for it at all. 

 

Nothing productive ensues. Minsoo heads off to sulk in his room while Dongho remains on his bed in fetus position, glaring at him for the rest of the day. Daehyun convinces Jaewon to try his red delicious applesauce, and contrary to its name, the sauce was disgusting and Jaewon feels no more or less satisfied than he did prior to Daehyun’s request. Boba, for some reason, remains on the couch all day, wondering what God or demon he ever crossed to be punished in such an extravagant way.

 

Jaewon feels merciful that night and decides to reverse the effects to give Dongho an opportunity to mentally recover from the previous day. After all, no one would believe him.

 

The next day, Minsoo smiles in delight to find Boba’s anus in his face the moment he opens his eyes. Insolent as usual. Dongho, meanwhile, won’t stop telling him about “being in his cat’s body,” and that he’s “a sigma male, not alpha,” He, too, is as mad as usual. 

 

Jaewon, however, keeps giving him looks and putting some kind of purple slurry into his gamer juice. It scares him as much as it intrigues him, so Minsoo is committed to consuming it despite his growing suspicion that he might be slowly poisoning him. Let’s just hope he won’t turn into a frog or something, right?