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They’ve been doing this for a while now, in hotel beds and on hotel room floors and in hotel showers, standing, kneeling, lying down. Max knows what Daniel feels like pushing himself inside, knows all the noises and touches and the familiar ache. It all leaves him feeling sated in a way nothing else can, and wanting more of that feeling every single time.
They’re lying in another non-descript hotel bed some McLaren person booked, Daniel dozing with his mouth half-open, one arm thrown across Max’s chest in a way that makes Max squirm when he thinks about it too hard, and Max thinks about the fact that Daniel wasn’t his first. Then, he thinks about how Daniel unfortunately wasn’t his first. Because Daniel would have taken care of him, would have treated him with respect, would have made it pleasurable and fun and light-hearted instead of uncomfortable and painful and humiliating. He wonders if it would have changed something, wonders if he’d be a different person. Maybe. It’s hard to tell.
Daniel groans in his sleep and pulls him closer, and Max closes his eyes as well, allowing himself to doze off for a few hours before his phone alarm reminds him to sneak back to his own hotel in time.
-
A few weeks later, Daniel’s hand is gently wrapped around Max’s throat, feeling strong and heavy on his skin, not cutting off his air flow but just there to hold him in place as Daniel thrusts into him, fast and deep, making Max’s head spin.
“God, fuck , you’re so tight-”, Daniel groans against Max’s ear, and for some reason, that sets a fire in Max’s groin. He comes, Daniel’s other hand stroking him in time with Daniel’s thrusts, spilling across the white linen under them.
For hours after, when Max can feel Daniel’s come leaking out of him still, the words reverberate in his skull, like he’s unable to let them go.
-
Daniel likes to crowd him against walls in dark corners and push his hands under his shirt to rub Max’s nipples until Max is hard and flushed, or press his thigh against Max’s under a table, or run his foot across the inside of Max’s calf, or his finger across the crook of Max’s elbow.
“You’re so pretty when you blush. So responsive.”, he tells him, and even though there’s a teasing edge to it, a bit of humiliation, it doesn’t feel mean, or degrading. It feels heady and hot. Daniel’s so much more experienced than he is, so much more composed when it’s about sex (and most things, really), but it doesn’t scare Max. Because he knows Daniel wouldn’t use it against him.
-
The idea grows inside Max like a secret, shameful fruit for weeks.
What if it had been Daniel?
-
He doesn’t know how to tell Daniel what he wants. The words are there, in his brain- I want you to pretend you’re my first . Everytime they fuck, Max can feel them on his tongue, but somehow, they always get stuck in his teeth, unable to spill out of him. And so he puts down his head and groans and holds on to Daniel’s arms a little bit tighter and wishes he could somehow telepathically convey to Daniel what he wants.
-
Daniel is Daniel, and it only takes him a week to catch on to the fact that there’s something on Max’s mind.
They’re making out, Daniel heavy on top of Max, Max’s fingers tangled in Daniel’s shirt, holding on to him for dear life. None of his previous partners did this, just kiss him as part of their foreplay. But Daniel does, and it’s heaven. Max’s mind wanders, imagining the way Daniel would have taken him apart that magical first time, how he would have made sure that Max was ready and aching for it, helped make him feel safe-
Daniel breaks their kiss and a needy whimper escapes Max, the loss of contact tearing him out of his fantasy.
“What’s on your mind?”, Daniel asks, and his face is so serious, in that way only people close to him get to see.
Max can feel his cheeks flush, and quickly avoids Daniel’s gaze. The words are there on his tongue again, waiting to be spoken, but Max’s throat is so dry all of a sudden.
Daniel waits, gently running a hand through Max’s hair in a way that’s so tender that it sends little shivers of pleasure and warmth down Max’s spine.
“Everything okay?”, Daniel prompts after a moment, clearly concerned by the way Max hasn’t responded to his first question yet. “Would you rather do something else? We can watch a movie-”
And for some reason, that’s what does it. It’s silly, because Daniel caring about his well-being shouldn’t be this sexy, but it fucking is , and Max is finally able to speak again.
“C-can we try something?”
He hates how his voice sounds, so timid and young and-
Daniel’s brows shoot up and a big, enthusiastic smile spreads on his face, helping ease some of the tension inside Max’s chest.
Max inhales deeply. He can’t manage to look at Daniel while he says it, and so he just looks past his face at the white, nondescript ceiling. “Can you pretend to be… my first?” Max squints, feeling supremely embarrassed, wanting to cover his face with his hands to hide from Daniel’s reaction.
Daniel is silent for a second, and then his smile broadens, turning into a husky little laugh. “You want me to pretend you’re a virgin? That I’m taking your virginity?”
Max’s face is burning up and he manages to wrench free one of his hands to cover his beet red face. “We don’t have to-”, he says quickly, feeling his stomach drop-
“Oh, that absolutely wasn’t a No, Maxy.” Daniel wraps his hand around Max’s wrist, and gently peels the hand covering Max’s face away.
Max risks a glance, and the dark glint and the edge to Daniel’s smile make him feel some type of way. “Yeah?”, he asks quietly, feeling vulnerable in that way he’s almost gotten used to during all his time hooking up with Daniel.
“Yes.” Daniel leans forward, and presses a kiss to Max’s forehead. “Good job telling me what you want…” The praise shouldn’t go straight to Max’s dick, but it does. Fuck.
Daniel kisses him again, and Max can feel the smile on his lips. They kiss some more, and Max feels some of the tension seeping out of him. Daniel’s hand is on his waist, just stroking the exposed skin where his shirt has ridden up, chaste and tame with a promise of more, and Max allows himself to hope that Daniel really wants this, too, that he likes this idea as much as Max likes it.
His erection, having flagged a bit during their short conversation, is coming back fully when Daniel licks into his mouth with a little groan before pulling back.
When he looks down at Max, his expression is tender and questioning, but there’s a barely-concealed glee there under it. Max readies himself for a joke, or some sweet encouragement, or questions-
“Are you ready, babe?”
It’s ridiculous , and it punches all the air right out of Max’s lungs. He can’t manage to speak, and so he just nods, quickly and desperately, the pet name bringing back the redness on his face.
“I know you’ve never done this-,” Daniel kisses Max’s cheek, “-but you don’t have to be scared-,” his lips trail down further until they run across the side of Max’s neck, “-I’ll be really careful, okay?”
Max is one hundred percent sure he just died and went to heaven. He’s instantly so hard that his dick strains against the inside of his fly painfully.
“Okay…”, he manages to whisper, his hands coming around Daniel’s shoulders, just holding on for the ride.
Daniel kisses his neck, his throat, his collarbone, pushing the fabric of his shirt to the side with his nose, and reaches up to grab one of Max’s hands, slowly guiding it between them, until it meets Daniel’s crotch. His grip is loose, and Max knows he could tear away his hand any time, nothing forcible about the gesture.
He tentatively places his hand on Daniel’s clothed erection, trying to play his part in this malstroem he just got himself into. Daniel lets out a little sigh, his eyes closed as he pulls away from Max’s skin, and oh, the way his brows are drawn together, the wolfish expression on his face, makes Max’s head spin so hard that his eyelids flutter for a second.
“How’s that feel?”, Daniel asks as if Max hasn’t touched his dick at least a hundred times by now. But this is the game they’re playing now, the game Max signed up for, the one that has him leaking pre-come into his underwear already, and so Max gives it a careful squeeze, and whispers, “It’s so big…”
“Don’t worry, it’ll feel really good once it’s inside you.” Daniel slowly thrusts up into Max’s hand, “...and I’ll be real careful, promise.”
Max hums, starting to rub his palm over Daniel’s erection, feeling it twitch.
“Hm, that feels good, baby…”, Daniel hums, and wherever the pet names came from is where Max wants to live for the rest of his life, “...but I think we should get you out of your clothes now…”
Max quickly nods because he can tell Daniel is looking for consent before he does anything right now, and that does things to Max-
Daniel shifts on top of him, and runs both hands up Max’s torso, pushing up his shirt. Max quickly lifts his arms, and a moment later, the shirt lands on the hotel room floor, followed by his shorts, socks and underwear, rendering Max completely naked and exposed on the bed while Daniel is still fully dressed.
He turns his head to the side, eyes cast down, cheeks burning yet again. He hadn’t expected it to feel this… intimate, but when Daniel’s gaze rakes down his body, Max can feel a whole-body shiver build in his spine, powerful enough to push another gush of pre-come out of him, painting his stomach sticky.
“You’re so pretty…”, Daniel muses, and his voice is so tender that Max’s hands clench into the sheet under him. Broad hands run down his torso, lingering on his nipples for a moment, playing with them until Max can’t suppress a whimper.
“Daniel-”, he whispers, unsure what he wants to say, really.
“Just a little longer, love.”
Max paws at Daniel’s thighs without any coordination, just wanting to get his clothes off, to get Daniel as naked as he is-
Daniel seems to understand, and discards his shirt, followed by his shorts. Max can’t help but stare at all the tattooed, tanned skin, standing out so harshly against his own, milky-white one. Daniel leans across him, reaching for the lube they keep under the pillow. When he’s got it, he leans down and kisses Max again as if to make him feel at ease. Knowing Daniel, it’s exactly what he’s trying to achieve, and it’s working.
The way Daniel hovers over him, holding himself up with his elbows, the way he’s clearly the one leading this right now- it makes Max feel a little small, and a little inexperienced, and exactly how he needs to feel right now, because this, this is exactly what he wanted and more.
The bottle of lube clicks open, but Daniel doesn’t break the kiss. A moment later, Max can feel slick fingers trail up his thigh, past his balls and his taint, until they gently spread him open, rubbing over his hole. The feeling draws a whimper out of him, and Daniel pushes himself up so he can look at Max’s face.
“Has anyone ever touched you here?”, he asks, voice low, and reflexively, Max breathes out a “No.” before another whimper falls from his lips, because oh, how much he wishes that was the truth- how much he wishes it really was Daniel doing this for the first time, touching him like this for the very first time. They can’t turn back time, but they can pretend, and Daniel is doing a near-perfect job at pretending right now.
“Please be gentle-”, Max whispers, not knowing where that just came from. Daniel’s face lights up with another wolfish smile, and he wraps his other hand around Max’s thigh, gently squeezing.
“Of course, baby, I won’t hurt you, yeah? We’ll go slow… I’ll make you feel so good…”
His fingers keep circling around Max’s hole, and the pressure makes Max’s dick twitch hard. Daniel reaches out, using his other hand to pull back Max’s foreskin, drawing a hiss out of Max as he feels the cold air on the wet, hot, sensitive skin of his tip.
“Exhale for me, baby.”, Daniel tells him, and Max obeys, slowly letting out his breath, and as he does, Daniel slowly inserts the first finger.
It’s not a new sensation, really, they’ve done this so many times now, and yet, it feels like Max’s body is catching fire.
He keens, too far gone to be concerned about how it’s a helpless, girly noise, and Daniel pets his thigh.
“Shh, baby, yeah that’s it, good job.”, he praises, slowly starting to move his hand. Max squirms against it, wanting more, the vulnerable feeling of being opened up this gently making him feel raw. He spreads his legs wider, and Daniel’s fingertips dig into his thigh just a little. A moment later, Daniel slowly adds a second finger, and Max keens again when it brushes over his prostate.
“Doing so well for me, baby, just one more and then you’ll be ready, yeah?” Daniel’s voice is just a tad breathless when he speaks, and the knowledge that this doesn’t leave him unaffected sends lightening bolts of pleasure down Max’s spine. He nods, eyes screwed shut, digging his heels into the mattress as Daniel slowly inserts a third finger.
“You’re so tight, gonna feel so good around my dick…”
Daniel scissors his fingers slowly, moving them in and out, turning his wrist just a little, and Max sees stars behind his closed eyelids.
Usually, Daniel doesn’t neglect his dick like this while getting him ready, but Max gets the feeling that Daniel knows exactly that he’d explode the moment Daniel were to touch him. Daniel’s single-minded focus on this, on opening him up, getting him ready to fuck, is so perfect for this little game they’ve found themselves in. It makes Max feel desired in a completely different, new way, like being inside him is all Daniel wants, like his hole is all there is, like a girl - and oh, the way his dick throbs at that thought is a can of worms to open on a different day, maybe.
“I think you’re ready, baby… Do you think so, too?” Daniel leans forward, pushing a few sweaty strands of hair out of Max’s face, looking down at him with so much care in his gaze that it makes Max squirm a bit.
“Yes…”, Max pants, lifting his lips a little in anticipation.
“Tell me if it’s too much, yeah?”
Max nods, hissing when Daniel removes his fingers, clenching around the emptiness.
A moment later, Daniel has lined himself up, his tip pushing against Max’s hole, slick with lube, until it slowly, tentatively slides inside.
Max gasps, and dares to finally open his eyes again. The sight in front of him makes him forget how to breathe immediately.
Daniel, kneeling between his legs, towering over him, gently holding on to Max’s thighs, his face full of concentration and tenderness and confidence. He looks perfect like this, handsome, and hot, and… safe. Max whimpers helplessly, reaching out for Daniel, and Daniel complies, immediately bending down to kiss Max, letting him wrap his arms around him, letting him hold on.
“Shh, good job, baby, we’re almost there…”, he whispers into the space between them, making Max shiver as he pushes deeper.
All Max can do is hold on to him as something inside him releases, bringing tears to his eyes as Daniel strokes his hair and peppers kisses across his face.
“You’re doing so well, baby, feeling so good for me…” Daniel is rambling quietly, praising and encouraging Max, and Max buries his face in the crook of Daniel’s neck, stifling a sob that threatens to break out of him.
“I’m going to move, yeah?”, Daniel asks after a few more moments, “Is that okay?”
Max nods quickly, yet again unable to speak- but it’s okay, because Daniel seems to understand what he needs anyway.
The first, slow drag of Daniel’s dick inside him as he bottoms out kicks Max’s body into motion again, and he wraps his legs around Daniel until his feet meet the backs of Daniel’s calves, trying to keep him close.
When Daniel pushes back into him, almost hitting his prostate, Max moans into Daniel’s skin, and it comes out shaky. He digs his fingertips into the rippling muscles on Daniel’s back as the tears drip into his hair.
Daniel sets a slow, languid pace, their bodies pressed together, tangled in each other. Max’s dick is trapped between them, the drag of Daniel’s stomach easily bringing Max to the edge of his climax within a few strokes.
“Please, Daniel-”, he whimpers, again not knowing what he’s trying to beg for, but trusting that Daniel knows him better than he knows himself.
“Come for me, baby… show me how good I’m making you feel…”, Daniel pants, his breath warm against Max’s ear as he speeds up his thrusts just a little, angling his hips just a little differently-
And that’s all it takes to push Max over the edge, his over-sensitive dick twitching between them as his come mingles with the sweat between their bodies.
“Yes, good job, babe, so hot-” Daniel’s thrusts speed up, become a little bit more erratic, and Max clenches around him just because he can-
Daniel comes a moment later, groaning into Max’s shoulder, hips tightly trapped by Max’s thighs, and it’s like fireworks are going off inside Max.
For a few minutes after, they just lie there, both panting, the sweat and come on their skin cooling and getting sticky.
Then, Daniel pushes himself up far enough so that he can look down at Max. “...all good?”, he asks, and the tenderness that was there for the past minutes still seems to linger.
“Yeah.”, Max whispers. His body feels like jelly, his legs shaky, something deep inside him warm and pleasant. He pulls Daniel down on top of him again, and yeah, maybe there’s a stupid little smile on his wet face.
Daniel slowly rolls them over onto their sides, slipping out of Max in the process, and then carefully pulls the duvet over Max’s legs to make sure he won’t get cold before wrapping his arms around Max and pulling him into his chest.
Max lets himself be manhandled like this, too sated and tired to care. He feels loose and relaxed in a way he hasn’t for a long time, his mind pleasantly fuzzy.
“Hey.”, Daniel says quietly, and Max forces his eyes open. Daniel carefully wipes the tear-stains off of Max’s cheeks with his thumb, looking so serious while he does.
“That was a lot, huh?”, he asks in a way that makes it clear he’s not expecting a real answer right now.
Max slowly nods, eyes falling closed again. There’s a warm heaviness creeping into his limbs.
“That was kind of amazing, Maxy.”, Daniel continues, and his easy tone brings a smile to Max’s face. “...thanks for telling me about this.”
Max just hums in reply. He’s starting to feel like he’s about to slip into sleep, his grip on his consciousness slowly slipping as he exists in this warm space, pressed against Daniel’s warm, strong body.
“...it was the best first time I could wish for.”, he murmurs, and then falls asleep to the feeling of Daniel’s lips against his forehead.