Empathy for Bruno

by Cetigapolo

Summary:

Female OC is an empath. She meets Bruno, starts as friendship, hurt/comfort. Shortly post-canon, but made the triplets about 40, and OC is about 30. Lots of Bruno-angst.

Chapter 1: First Meeting

Amelia started the day with no plans, meandering through the village she was hoping would become “home.”  She just moved into her small casa a couple of days ago, and she has yet to meet any of her vecinos.  She takes a deep breath, steadying her nerves as she heads toward the center of town.  Her last living situation didn’t turn out so well, and she’s…apprehensive.

She is immediately struck by all of the beautiful colors in the village.  She stops in front of a mural, Los Madrigal, and she wonders if the stories she has heard are true.  She first heard of a magical family, each member with their own gift, on one of her few journeys into her local village.  At the time, she’d been living alone in a small cabin for many months, only heading into town to interact with others when absolutely necessary.  It was safe, she supposed, and she didn’t want to be run out of another town.  Still, she had struggled with the loneliness.

She shakes her head, trying to jar herself out of her memories and to give this place a chance.  She had moved here for a fresh start, hoping that she would be accepted here.  After all, if an entire family with magical gifts could be loved and accepted, maybe there was hope for her as well.

Amelia studies the mural, wondering what each person’s gift might be.  She tries to remain optimistic but not to get her hopes up too high.  She has always struggled to connect with others, and to find acceptance, due to her own gift. Amelia has been able to feel the emotions of others around her since she was a child, and it has caused a fair number of problems for her over the years. Unfortunately, many have found her gift to be invasive.  At best, others have shied away from her, or been afraid to touch her.  At worst, people she had thought would accept her turned openly hostile.  Amelia tries, and does fairly well now, at shutting out others’ emotions 90% of the time.  However, it is very hard when emotions are strong.  She has also found that she feels others’ emotions more easily when she touches them, so she tries to minimize casual physical contact.  Still, it’s never been enough to allow others to feel truly comfortable around her, and she’s done the best she can with the loneliness she feels.

She’d given up hope of ever living with others, of having friends and family, until she’d heard of the village of Encanto.  In many ways, this feels like her last chance. 

She is usually very careful in crowds.  Today, though, she is so distracted by all the new sights around her, as well as by her nerves, that she is caught off guard when a man bumps into her and brushes against her bare arm.  She feels a tightness in her chest, and recoils with a gasp.  She makes eye contact with the man only briefly.  At first he seems hurt, but then a look of resignation crosses his face.  He looks down, muttering “sorry.”  Amelia feels all of a sudden like she could burst into tears, but the feeling passes after the man disappears around the corner.

She briefly considers following him, but what would she even say?  I felt your emotions when you bumped into me, are you okay?  That’d be a great way to alienate the village immediately upon arrival.  She fights an urge to try to “fix it,” to explain her reaction, to do something to let the man know that she wasn’t revulsed by him. It hurts her heart that she caused him pain, and that on top of it he seemed to just accept her reaction…like it was expected and he somehow deserved it.  A memory flashes through her mind of the last town she’d lived in, of being scorned and taunted until she’d finally packed up and fled.  Her chest feels tight again at the memory, and she knows that she can’t take the risk of facing such a reaction again so soon.  So she ignores the pang of guilt she feels, knowing that her recoil had caused that look in the man’s eyes.

Amelia adjusts to the village fairly quickly.  She sometimes wonders about that man in the green ruana, hoping foolishly that someday she will be able to explain her reaction on the street that day.  Or that she might be able to find some way to make it up to him at least, even if she can’t explain what happened.  So far the villagers seem welcoming, and her anxiety has started to lessen. Still, she knows that she has to be cautious.  She’d thought that she had friends before, and she shudders thinking about how that turned out.

It hasn’t yet been a week when she happens across the man in the green ruana again, in the forest at the edge of town.  He is seated on a large rock, and she starts to approach him, hoping to apologize and maybe to start over. His back is facing her, and she gets quite close before she notices that he is hunched over, head resting in his hands. Maybe it is the isolation, and maybe it is the fact that she’s felt his emotions before…whatever the reason, she can feel his pain.  She feels torn – he hasn’t seen her yet, and she could walk away.  She probably should walk away – after all, she is new to town and it’s not the best idea to approach strange men in the woods.  Not to mention, how would she explain approaching him when he probably wants to be alone?  I felt your pain and wanted to see if you were okay?  She’d sound loca.

The man’s hood is covering his head, obscuring his face from view.  She’s almost decided to turn and walk away when she hears him let out a shaky sigh, and then a sniffle.  It is then that she realizes he’s crying, and she makes up her mind.

“Perdóname, señor…” she starts, trying to calm her nerves as she does so. 

He startles, glancing at her.  She sees him turn and wipe his face quickly before he looks at her again.  His eyes are a bit red, and the smile he puts on seems false. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize anyone else was here,” he says quickly, rising up to stand.  “My apologies.”  He pauses awkwardly.  “Bye.”  He turns abruptly and starts to walk away.

“Wait,” she calls and he pauses, turning back partway.  She walks a bit closer to him.  “I don’t mean to intrude,” she tells him softly.  “It’s just…are you alright?”

“Never better,” he answers quickly, laughing nervously.

“Okay,” she replies skeptically. She pauses, then offers him a smile.  “I’m new to town.”  After  hesitating for a moment, she holds out her hand.  “Amelia.  Mucho gusto.”

He looks at the hand she has extended, and takes it cautiously.  “Bruno.”  He shakes her hand, avoiding eye contact, then rubs his hands on the legs of his pants.  

Amelia takes a deep breath.  When she shook his hand, she felt all that he was trying to push down.  She isn’t going to try to force him, but she will try one more time to give him the chance to open up about whatever is going on.  She smiles at him kindly.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Bruno.”  She catches his eye again before he looks down.  “You’re sure that you’re alright?”

“I-” His voice cracks, and he stops.  He takes a deep breath and tries to speak but no words come.  Suddenly his face crumples, and he bends forward, hiding his face in his hands.   His shoulder shake as he tries to muffle sobs.  Amelia stands awkwardly, not sure what to do.  Her heart goes out to him; she knows she is feeling his emotions to a lesser degree than what he himself is experiencing, and it still feels almost overwhelming.

“Would you like to talk about what’s bothering you?” She asks. He doesn’t look up, and just shakes his head.  “I know we’ve just met, but would you like a hug?”  He hesitates, but shakes his head again.  He crouches, wrapping his arms around his legs; then he puts his head down on his knees and he cries. 

Amelia doesn’t know exactly what to do but she also isn’t about to leave someone alone sobbing in the woods.  So she looks at the trees around her, trying to regulate her own emotions and to distance herself from his, and she waits for him to calm down. 

It feels like a long time before his crying softens.  He is still for a few moments, collecting himself.  He takes a deep breath, wiping at his face as he exhales. He avoids eye contact with her, staring at the ground beside him while he rises back to his full height.  “I’m sorry,” he says hoarsely, then sniffles.  She can see a blush creeping up his neck.  “I’m so embarrassed.” 

“You don’t need to be,” Amelia tells him gently.  “Everyone cries sometimes.”

He forces out a laugh.  “So, do you run into total strangers having a mental breakdown often?”  He gives her a half smile.  After a moment he sighs, shaking his head.  “I’m not used to people asking me if I’m okay,” he admits quietly. 

“I meant it when I said that we could talk about it, if you want,” she tells him.  “Or if you want a hug.”  She smiles. 

“I actually have to be going,” he says, “But…um…” he steps toward her cautiously, and wraps his arms around her.  He starts to pull away, but she hugs him back, wrapping her arms around his waist.  He is tense at first, but when she holds him he allows himself to sag into her embrace.  He holds onto her tightly, for longer than you’d expect to hug a stranger.  She feels a slight tremble in his shoulders, and he lets out a shuddering breath. She feels a confusing mixture of emotions in that moment, but what she notices the most is a combination of relief and heartache.  He sniffles, then clears his throat.  “Thank you,” he says thickly, squeezing a little tighter before pulling away and hurrying off.

Amelia has no idea what just happened. 

Notes:

Vecinos-neighbors
Casa-home
Loco/loca-crazy
Perdóname, señor - excuse me, sir?
Mucho gusto-nice to meet you

Chapter 2: Bruno’s First Impressions

Notes:

I’m gonna try to remember to put translations in the notes. Also, although I speak Spanish I am not a native speaker so it may not be perfect.

Bruno‘s thoughts, which are italicized at the beginning are “ that’s what happens when you live between the walls for 10 years. You meet a beautiful woman and bawl your eyes out.“

Bruno feels a little bit lighter as he walks back to la Casita, but he also feels completely humiliated.  Eso es lo que pasa cuando vives entre los paredes por diez años.  Conoces a una mujer hermosa y lloras sin parar.  He doesn’t know how he will ever look her in the eye if he sees her again.

He didn’t think anyone would find him at that particular spot in the woods.  He’s been trying so hard, and being back with his familia is all he ever wanted.  But he feels like he has to act like it’s all okay, like he’s okay…and he’s just not.  And he never thought he’d miss his little space in the walls, but sometimes everything feels like too much, and he has no idea what he needs, much less how to explain to another person.  So he goes to the woods, and he tries to sort himself out.  He waits until he can put his mask back in place, until he knows that no one will see the cracks inside.  He wasn’t expecting to be found, and he certainly wasn’t expecting a stranger to see right through him.  He doesn’t remember the last time that someone asked him if he was okay, and the cracks in his heart felt like they broke wide open.

He’s so tired of pretending he is okay.  And he’s so tired of being afraid of what will happen when someone finds out that he’s not.  He’s finally back with the people he loves, and he still feels so unbearably alone most of the time.

His eyes burn, and he knows he can’t go any further down that path.  He has to put on his happy face for dinner.  He swallows his emotions and pastes on a grin.  

He still doesn’t feel right as he sits at the table, today between Pepa and Dolores.  He listens, and picks at his meal. It feels surreal that he is actually at the table, and he forgets at times that he is supposed to be a part of the conversations.  He shakes his head slightly, trying to banish the memory of so many meals alone.  He tries to focus on the moment.  He smiles at the appropriate times, but it feels a bit hollow.

”How was your day, Bruno?” his mamá asks, and he appreciates the effort at making him feel included.  He also feels extremely uncomfortable with all eyes on him, and he shrinks a little in his seat.  He tries to channel his inner Hernando.

”Good, good, never a dull moment.”

”Did you have any visions today, Tío?” Antonio asks him.

”Well what’s a day without a vision?” He forces out a laugh.  “Pepa, how about that weather we’re having?” He turns to his sister with a wink, and she scowls at him.

”What can I say, it was a trying morning.”  She shoots him a look.  She starts in discussing her day, and Bruno listens, relieved to have the attention off of him. He doesn’t want to talk about his day, and doesn’t want to think about it.  He doesn’t want his family to pry.  So why does he feel so alone right now?

He still hates his visions.  Everyone wants to shoot the messenger.  And he feels for them when he gives bad news…he really does. But he is awkward, and strange, and he tries to make light of things he doesn’t know how to deal with.  Then he hurts, alone, when he has to deal with the village’s reactions to a visit from “Bad News Bruno.”

He breathes a sigh of relief when dinner ends.  When Julieta comes to take his plate, she rests her hand gently on his shoulder, and he feels his muscles tense.  Touch is hard, too.  After all, he had no physical contact with anyone for a decade before his mamá hugged him by the river.  If he hadn’t been so shocked, he probably would have cried.

He missed the contact when he was in the walls, and he felt like he craved it at times.  Now, though he gets overstimulated so easily, and he can barely keep his emotions in check when he receives physical affection.  It embarrasses him; stoicism wasn’t really necessary when no one was there but his rats, and now he’s out of practice. He flushes with shame, thinking about how he broke down with a total stranger a few hours ago.  She must think he’s completely loco.  Of course, that’s generally the perception throughout the village.  Dios mío, he started crying again when she hugged him back.  He’s got to figure out how to control his emotions again.

He manages to avoid Amelia for several days.  He still tends to spend most of his time alone, so it’s easier than one might think in a small town.  Then he sees her one day when he heads to his usual spot in the forest.  He thinks for a moment about turning and going the other way, but it would be obvious he’s avoiding her.  Uncomfortable as he might be, he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings when she was so compassionate with him the other day.  He heads over to sit on a log, and he gives her a half wave.

She apparently takes that as a sign that it’s okay to approach.  “Hello, Bruno,” she greets him.  “Do you mind if I join you?”

He shakes his head, gesturing to the other end of the log.  She smooths her skirt, which is dark teal today, and sits quietly beside him.  Bruno’s anxiety spikes, and he picks at the skin around his nail.

”It’s beautiful out here,” she murmurs.  Bruno hums in agreement.  “It seems not many people come out here.”  Please don’t ask. Please don’t ask, he repeats over and over in his mind.  She pauses, sighing deeply.  “It’s peaceful.”  Bruno agrees that it’s usually peaceful here.  Now, though, he feels tense and can’t stop worrying if she is going to ask him about the other day.  She sits quietly for a moment, before continuing in a soothing tone of voice.  He wonders for a moment if she can sense how anxious he feels.  “This is a beautiful village.  And everyone has been very welcoming so far.  Have you lived here long?”

It occurs to him then that he never told her his last name.  He wonders if it’s really possible that she has not connected him with any of the rumors around town.  “All my life,” he answers truthfully.

”I’ve never really stayed in a town for very long,” she admits.  He doesn’t know why, but it feels like she’s sharing an important piece of information with him.  “I’m hoping that can change, maybe, this time,” she continues quietly. 

”Did you come here with your family?” Bruno surprises himself by asking her.

She gives him a small smile.  “No, I’m on my own.”  She pauses a moment.  “How about you?  Is your family all here?”

”Sí, mi madre, two sisters, lots of nieces and nephews.”  He smiles thinking of his sobrinos.

”Sounds nice,” she sighs.  “Are you close?”

Bruno tenses.  “I-,” he cuts off.  “I suppose we are.”

She looks at him apologetically.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

He feels oddly exposed.  “It’s okay,” he assures her.  “Just…complicado.”  She makes a noise of understanding, but doesn’t ask further.

”Would you like to have lunch together sometime?” she asks him somewhat abruptly, and he looks at her curiously.  She flushes a bit.  “I mean, I understand if you don’t want to.  It’s just, I haven’t really made any other friends here…not that that’s the only reason.  Or that we’re friends.  We could be, maybe, but we just met.  I mean…” she lets out a frustrated sigh, forcing herself to stop rambling.  “I don’t know what I mean.  But you seem like a kind man, and I’d like to get to know you better.  If you want.”

He swallows hard.  He wants to try to get to know her, but he also doesn’t expect this to end well.  He’s always too eccentric, too “creepy,” just too much.  He clears his throat.  “Sure.  If you’d like.”

She smiles brightly.  “Great!  I have to go today, but are you free for lunch tomorrow?  I was thinking of packing a picnic lunch and a book, maybe exploring a bit first.  Try to find a nice spot to enjoy the afternoon.  Would you like to join me?”

Bruno’s nerves rise, and he tries to think of an excuse.  But she looks so excited, and he likes seeing her smile.  He nods before he can talk himself out of it.  “What time were you thinking?”

”How about 10:30?  We could meet here?”

His chest feels tight.  He opens his mouth and closes it.  She looks at him expectantly, and he forces himself to nod.  “Okay.”

“That’s great.  I can’t wait.”  She claps her hands together lightly, standing up.  “Okay, I will see you tomorrow.  Bye, Bruno!” She grins at him, bouncing a little before she hurries off.

Bruno takes a deep breath, wondering what exactly he is getting himself into.

Chapter 3: A Friendly Walk

Notes:

Bruno’s kind of emotional in this story. But he’s been through a lot. And in my headcanon he is out of practice managing his external reactions because he was living in a wall.

Amelia is honestly surprised that Bruno agreed to meet her today. He seemed so anxious the day before, and she had started to worry that he was trying to find a way to let her down easy.  She feels butterflies in her stomach.  She hopes that today goes well, and that they might be able to become friends.  Other townspeople have been kind, but she feels a connection with Bruno.  She’s not sure exactly why, but she feels comfortable with him.  It’s a nice feeling…one that she hasn’t experienced with another person in a long time.

She packs some arepas con queso and some cholao.  She takes a deep breath, checking her hair in the mirror and straightening her skirt.  Then she heads to the forest.

She finds Bruno pacing in circles near the log they’d met at yesterday.  She suppresses a grin as she realizes he is muttering to himself.  She approaches slowly, but still he startles a bit when he sees her.

”Buenos días,” she greets him.  He gives her an awkward wave.  He holds out his hand, and it takes her a moment to realize he is offering to carry the basket.  She thanks him, handing it over. He blushes, running his other hand over the back of his neck.

They walk in silence for a few moments. Amelia can feel his tension, and she hopes that it’s just nerves. She notices the book in his hand, and smiles slightly.  “What are you reading?”  He hesitates then holds it up, showing her the cover.  “I’ve never read it.  Do you like it so far?”  He nods.  After a moment, she asks, “what’s it about?”

“It’s a little hard to explain,” he tells her hesitantly.  When she nods, he takes a breath and continues.  “There’s this man, Pablo.  He goes and travels across the country, looking for his purpose.  He meets some unusual characters along the way, and he learns something different from each of them.  My guess is that he ends up finding his purpose, but I’m only about halfway through.”

“It sounds interesting.  You’ll have to tell me what you think after you’ve finished it.”  He looks at her in surprise.  “I don’t think I brought something quite as interesting.” She holds up her book to show him.  “It’s a pretty typical romance so far, but I’m enjoying it.  Sometimes it’s nice to read something where it’s simple, you know?”  She sighs.  “Maybe that’s not the right way to put it.  You know, in life we never know how things are going to work out.  Sometimes I enjoy reading a story where I know they will work it out and find happiness in the end.”  Bruno looks thoughtful for a moment, then nods in understanding.

”I like mine because everyone he meets has some kind of importance, something that helps him along the way,” Bruno tells her quietly. “Even the interactions that are negative mean something. Everyone matters in the story.”  They walk in companionable silence, but Amelia can feel an ache in her chest.  She tries to focus away from Bruno’s emotions, and she briefly wishes that she could spend time with someone without knowing what they’re feeling before they’re ready to share. She doesn’t ask, but is surprised when he continues.  “Sometimes it’s nice to go into a world where you know that everyone is important in some way; where everyone’s life means something.  There’s this character, Arabella?  She irritates the main character at first, and he wants her to just leave him alone.  When she finally does, he realizes how her presence helped him to survive, and he misses her.”

”Sometimes you don’t appreciate someone until you have to miss them,” she remarks.

”And then, sometimes life just goes on without them.”  Amelia feels inexplicably sad, and she wonders what Bruno means.  She takes a steadying breath, and looks at her companion with concern.  She feels like crying, and she’s pretty sure that feeling is not her own.

Bruno shakes his head suddenly. “Anyway, there’s this really funny scene.  I can tell you about it, if you want?”  He looks at her hopefully, and she nods.  In the next few moments, it’s like she is with a different person.  He gets more animated than she has seen, and he acts out portions of the scene for her.  It’s so dramatic that she finds herself giggling at times, and she can feel his happiness when she does so.  Time goes by quickly, and before she realizes how much time has passed her stomach growls.  She flushes, but Bruno simply asks her if she is ready to stop and eat.

They find a spot to sit and rest, and he hands her the basket.  She unpacks it, and hands him an arepa before taking one for herself.

”Thank you for coming with me today,” she tells him.

”Thank you for asking me.”  He takes a bite.  “How are you settling into the village?”

”It’s going well so far.  I hope that it lasts.”  She smiles wryly at him.  “I don’t exactly fit in easily,” she admits.

Bruno looks at her.  “Hanging out with me is probably not going to help with that,” he warns.

”That actually makes me question the judgment of our neighbors.”

He snorts, clapping a hand over his mouth.  “We’ll see how you feel about that tomorrow.”

”Don’t you have friends here?”  He looks down, and she immediately regrets asking the question.  She wonders if he just has trouble meeting people.  She really likes him-he’s kind, and considerate, and she’s learned today that he can be pretty funny at times.  It doesn’t make sense to her, but he does seem awfully shy.  She can feel his sadness, and she decides to change the subject.  “So, what do you think it would help me to know, being new and all?”

He looks at her, almost pleadingly.  “Just…don’t believe everything you hear?  Small towns are full of rumors.”  Suddenly he pales.  “Oh, no.”

”What?” She looks at him in concern.

”My niece, Dolores, and her novio.”  He groans, tilting his head toward a young couple across the meadow.  “I love her dearly, but she does not know when to keep things to herself.”  He says the last part pointedly, which seems odd as they are too far away for the pair to hear what he’s saying.

Amelia looks at him uncomfortably.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause a problem for you.”

”No, it’s not…” Bruno sighs.  “I love my family, but they are not so good with boundaries.  I’m just not looking forward to the interrogation later.”  He smiles at her.  “I’m still glad that I came,” he tells her almost shyly.  “This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”

”Me, too,” Amelia answers, smiling.

“Do you need to go soon, or do you want to stay and read a bit?”  He rushes to continue with, “I mean, we don’t have to read.  We could talk.  Or leave.  I just know you were wanting to read this afternoon, and I thought maybe we could read together.”  He shakes his head, speaking faster.  “I mean, not read together.  You have your book, and I have mine.  Which we brought all the way here, so I thought maybe you might want…never mind.”

Amelia stifles a giggle at how embarrassed he seems, and smiles warmly.  “I’d like that.”

Bruno shoots her a grateful look, and hands her book to her before picking up his own.

Amelia sits cross legged, and fairly quickly gets lost in the story.  A few times she is brought out of the story, as she learns that Bruno is not a stoic reader. She hides her smile each time he laughs out loud while reading to himself. She’s not sure how much time passes, but she enjoys the company.  She feels grateful that she happened upon someone who she feels comfortable to just be with.

She glances over at Bruno, who is laying in the grass, and is surprised to see tears on his cheeks. He flushes when he realizes she is looking at him, and starts wiping at his face.  He clears his throat. “I’m okay.”  He bites his lower lip.  “Just hate it when they catch you off guard with the emotional gut punch.”  He laughs.  “Come on, autor, you’re making me look bad.  Next time I’ll pick something that I know won’t make me cry.”

She smiles reassuringly.  “Those emotional gut punches are the worst.”

”I know, right?” He says jovially, sniffling and wiping his face again.

They both go back to reading, neither of them speaking until Amelia realizes the sun has started to set.

”Time flies,” she says, closing her book.

”You’re right, I’ve got to get home.”  Bruno looks at his watch.  “Can I walk you home first?”  He stands up, reaching a hand out to help her up as well.

She feel his anxiety when he helps her stand, and she suppresses a smile at how sweet he is in that moment. “I’d love that.”

Their walk goes quicker than she’d like.  When he says goodbye, he hesitates, and she wonders for a moment if he might kiss her.  Unfortunately, the moment passes, and he looks away uncomfortably.  “Well…bye.”

”Bruno…I had a very nice time with you.”  He smiles at her words, but does not make eye contact.  “I’d love to do it again sometime, if you’d like.”

He nods, waves, and heads off, presumably to home.

Amelia finds that her own smile stays for the rest of the evening.

Chapter 4: Bruno Who?

“So, Tío, how was your day?” Dolores asks him quietly from across the table.  She smirks, and he gives her a look.

”¿Muy bien, Dolores, y tú?”

“Bien, gracias.”

Bruno is relieved when Mirabel starts a story about what happened today with Luisa and the donkeys.  He stifles a laugh as Luisa glares at her hermanita.  He gets distracted from the story, however, when Dolores leans over and whispers something to Camilo.  He knows that he’s busted when Camilo raises an eyebrow, grinning at him.  Bruno gestures with his eyes at Mirabel, trying to get them to focus on the story.

Félix gives Camilo an admonishing look before Camilo leans over and whispers something to him.  His eyes widen, and he whispers something to Pepa.  Bruno rolls his eyes when he sees his sisters whispering back and forth to each other and looking at him.

Finally, his mother looks at them, exasperated.  “Girls, what is going on?”

Pepa suppresses a giggle, and Julieta hides a smile behind her hand.  “Ask Bruno, Mamá,” Pepa says with faux innocence.

Suddenly, all eyes are on him, and he stares intently at his plate.

“Tío Bruno has a girlfriend,” Camilo sings under his breath.  Antonio giggles.

”Bruno?” his mamá asks him expectantly.

Bruno sighs.  “I spent the afternoon with a woman who’s new in town.  She doesn’t really know anyone yet.”  He sees his sisters both grinning, and he rolls his eyes again.  “It’s not a big deal.”

”Is she pretty?” Agustín asks him teasingly.

”Very,” Dolores confirms, while Bruno shrinks in his seat and turns red.

“Ok, stop, that’s enough, you’re all embarrassing him,” Julieta says.  He shoots her a grateful look.

“Nonsense,” Pepa dismisses.  “Bruno, tell me more,” she prompts. 

His face feels like it’s on fire.  “There’s nothing to tell.  I ran into her a couple of times, and we talked a little, and she mentioned that she doesn’t really know anyone in town yet.  She asked me to go have lunch with her, and I did.”

Pepa squeals.  “Nothing to tell.  Pfff.”

“We’ll have to invite her to dinner, get to know her a bit,” Mamá nods, and his heart sinks.

Bruno protests before he can stop himself, and everyone looks at him.  He feels himself flush.  “She doesn’t exactly know who I am,” he mumbles, looking down at his plate.

“What do you mean?  How can she not know…?” Mirabel starts.

“I didn’t tell her I’m a Madrigal, and I…don’t think she knows.” 

“Brunito, are you ashamed of this family?”

“No, Mamá!  I just…” he puts his head in his hands.  “I…she doesn’t look at me the way everyone else in the village does.”

“What do you mean?”

“She doesn’t look at me like I’m about to tell her that her beloved goldfish is dying or that she’s going bald,” he says wryly.  Antonio looks confused, and Bruno gives him a sad smile. “When she looks at me, it doesn’t seem like she’s waiting for me to give her some kind of bad news, Tonito,” he tells him gently.  He looks around the table, and immediately wishes he hadn’t.  His eyes feel hot, and he clears his throat.  “There’s no dread in her eyes when she sees me.  Do you know how long…” his voice wobbles a bit, and he takes a steadying breath, eyes trained on his plate.  He knows he won’t keep it together if he looks at either of his sisters again.  “It’s been a long time since anyone outside of this family has actually seemed happy to see me.”   He huffs out a sigh, suddenly weary.  “I know I need to tell her.  I just…want a little time.  Por favor.”

“I think it’s a mistake, Brunito,” his mother tells him.  “But we’ll respect your wishes for now.”

He nods.  “May I be excused, please?”

“Of course.”

***

Unfortunately, luck has never really been on Bruno's side, and the issue comes up again sooner than he'd like.

"You know, Bruno, it's the strangest thing," Amelia tells him.  "I had not met any of the Madrigals, but everyone talks about them."  Bruno looks at her uncomfortably.  "Then this week, I meet several members of the family at different times.  They're very nice, but I get the feeling they're trying to fix me up?"  Bruno starts coughing.  "Are you alright?" She looks at him, concerned.  He nods.  

"Why do you-” he coughs again.  “Why do you think they're trying to fix you up?"

“Well, first I met Pepa.  She's a lovely woman.  She asks me if I'm single, and tells me she 'has this brother,'" Amelia laughs.  “He sounds very nice, and it's clear that Pepa thinks the world of him.  But I can't imagine that he'd be too happy if he knew that she was trying to fix him up with strange women."

He chuckles weakly.

Amelia grins at him.  “Then, I meet her niece Mirabel, who is also very friendly, and a lovely girl.  But she almost immediately starts to tell me about how much she'd love for me to meet her uncle.”

Voy a matarlos a todos, he thinks to himself.  He had originally been happy to run into Amelia today, but now he feels sick to his stomach. 

“I met Julieta and her esposo, and they were much more subtle...but still, Agustín asked me if I was seeing anyone, and Julieta mentioned that her brother is single as well.”  She chuckles, and Bruno forces out a weak laugh. “I assume you know them well, having lived here your whole life?"

“You could say that,” he answers cautiously. 

“So, what do you think? Should I meet this Madrigal misterioso?” she asks him dramatically. 

He's not sure if he's ever been more uncomfortable in his entire life.

 

 

Notes:

Voy a matarlos a todos-I’m going to kill them all

Chapter 5: Confessions

Bruno spent most of last night throwing up, he was so anxious.  He has to tell her.  He knows that he has to tell her.  But he's afraid of how she'll look at him when she knows, and he's not sure if he can bear another person with fear in their eyes every time they see him.  

They've been spending quite a bit of time together in the last few weeks, and he’s actually been happy.  Unfortunately, ever since she told him about how his family had been...interfering... he hasn't been able to relax.  He’s scared.   He really likes her.  And he hasn't had a friend in so long.  

He splashes water on his face, looking himself in the mirror.  He has to tell her today.  

Too bad Julieta's arepas only help with physical symptoms, he thinks as he bends over the toilet again.  

***

He knows that he probably looks terrible when he finally gets out the door.  He would have just avoided everyone today, but he promised her he'd come by just after lunch.  He doesn't want to disappoint her, but he also feels lightheaded and unsteady.  

His suspicions are confirmed when he knocks on her door and she immediately looks concerned.  

"Bruno, are you okay?" He shrugs, wringing his hands. "No offense, but you look terrible." She reaches an arm out toward him.  "Come in, sit down." He obeys, and she sits on the chair across from him, waiting patiently. 

He takes in and then lets out a shaking breath.  "I need to tell you something," he says.  "But I'm afraid that it will change everything."  She waits for him to continue, and he closes his eyes.  "I never asked you for your family name when we met."

"It's Gutierrez," she answers, confused.  "Why?"

Bruno forces himself to open his eyes.  He stands up and extends a hand to her.  He watches her out of the corner of his eye as he introduces himself.  "Bruno Madrigal."  

There's a long pause, and he nearly cries with relief when she stands up and actually takes his hand.  

"Do you remember when we were walking down the calle, and you introduced me to your niece, Luisa?"  He looks at her, confused.  She gives him a knowing look.  "I figured it out then, Bruno.  Mirabel had already introduced me to her sister a few days before."

At that, the tears do start to fall. He sinks back onto the sofa, hiding his face in his hands.  She sits down across from him again.  

“Can I ask why you were so afraid to tell me?” she asks hesitantly.

He sniffles, hands pressed against his face.  He shuts his eyes tightly, breathing in slowly and trying to compose himself.  "Do you know about my gift?"

"I know that you probably have one,” she tells him.  “I don't know what it is." 

He waits, but the question doesn't come.  He peeks at her between his fingers.  "Aren't you going to ask?"

"Not if you don't want to tell me," she answers gently.  He lets out a sob, then moves his hands down just a little to cover his mouth.  She moves over to the couch next to him as he tries to keep it together. 

“Cálmate," she soothes.  She reaches over and squeezes his knee gently before placing her hands back in her lap.  He leans forward, moving his hands to the back of his head, pulling his hood up and partly over his face.  He runs his fingers through his curls, gripping his hair near the roots.  He rocks slightly, trying to calm down.  "It's okay, querido," she tells him gently.  He realizes that he's holding his breath when she continues with "just breathe."   At first, every breath feels like a sob waiting to rip its way out of his chest.  His face feels hot and sticky from tears, but he focuses on his breathing, and eventually it returns to normal.  He scrubs at his face as he lets out a slow breath and rests his hands in his lap.  

"Don't you want to know?" he asks, his voice broken and desperate.  He keeps his head down; he can’t bear to look at her right now. 

"Of course I want to know," she tells him.  "But it isn't going to change anything."  He blinks rapidly, trying to clear his vision.  "I'll know if, and when, you're ready to tell me.”  Amelia pauses. “No te preocupas."

"I'd rather you hear it from me," he starts.  "But I can't....I don't want..."  He huffs out a frustrated sigh.  "I see visions."  He blurts out.  He glances at her out of the corner of his eye, and her face seems blank.  He steels his nerves and continues.  "Of the future.  I try not to, most of the time.”  He swallows hard, and tries to keep his hands from shaking and his voice from cracking.  “Because nobody ever likes what they hear.  And then they're all 'Bruno makes bad things happen.  He's creepy and his vision killed my goldfish.'  And so I try not to look, but sometimes it just ....happens, and I see something."  He hides his face again, afraid to look at her, as he lets his breath out in a whoosh.

"Okay."

He looks at her in surprise, hands still covering most of his face.  "Really?  That's it?  Okay?"

"That's it."  She pauses.  "Did we need to talk about something else?"  That shocks him into laughing.  When he finally looks at her again, she's smiling. 

"I was terrified," he laughs, sounding almost hysterical.

"About that..." he looks at her.  "I know."  He laughs harder.

When he finally stops laughing (for the most part), she looks at him seriously.  "There's probably something that I should tell you, too."  She looks worried, and he sobers.  "I kind of...came to Encanto because of your family."  She sighs.  "Can you keep a secret?"  He nods.  If I can live in the walls for 10 years, I can probably keep a secret, he thinks.  But there's only so many revelations one can handle in a day.  "I knew that you were terrified, because I could feel that you were terrified."  He looks at her in surprise.  "I can feel emotions.  I try not to do it all the time.  But it happens sometimes whether I try or not."  She starts speaking more quickly.  "And I didn't tell you, no one knows, because every time I've told anyone they're all 'Amelia is a creep who reads minds,' and I'm so tired.  I like it here, and I was afraid that if anyone found out I'd have to move otra vez, and..."

Bruno hears the desperate edge to her voice.  "Thank you for telling me, querida."  He smiles and squeezes her hand, then pulls his hood back off and looks at her face.  He has a thousand questions he wants to ask, but she accepted his gift, and him, without hesitation.  His questions can wait.  He feels calm, and happy, for the first time in days.

Notes:

Amelia uses querido because she’s trying to be caring without invading his personal space. She cares about him, and they have become friends enough that she feels okay using it while trying to comfort him.

Bruno uses it for much the same reason, and felt okay doing it because Amelia had used it with him.

They’re both so very awkward, and not used to making friends. Which is why in some ways they’re still distant/guarded and in others they’re a little overly familiar.

Chapter 6: Preparing to Meet the Madrigals

Amelia feels like a weight has been lifted off of her. She didn't expect to tell Bruno, or anyone, about her gift…especially not so soon.  But she identifed so much with him in that moment when he spoke with her about his gift, and with how scared he was to tell her.

She’s not sure which of the two of them is more anxious, though, about the fact that she is having dinner with his entire family tonight.  She thought Bruno was going to have a panic attack when he asked her to come to the house for dinner.

She has changed her outfit at least half a dozen times, and she’s not even that attentive to fashion in general.  She’s met most of the family, but not all at once.  She’s not used to large groups of people, and la Familia Madrigal seems to have a lot of strong personalities on top of that.

Not to mention, she knows how important Bruno’s family is to him.  They may not have known each other for long, but he’s the closest friend she’s ever had.  She doesn’t want to lose that, and she’s so used to people turning against her.  They seem like lovely people, but knowing that can’t erase a lifetime of bad experiences.

She tries to sit and read for awhile, to calm herself.  She ends up going back to her closet again to reevaluate her outfit.

Only three more hours to go, she sighs to herself.

***

Bruno’s practically vibrating around La Casita.  And if one more person teases him about his “girlfriend,” he’s going to lose his mind.

He finally agreed to invite Amelia over for dinner with his family, and he has been regretting that decision almost every moment since.  He’s happy to spend time with her, but he feels like a walking bundle of nerves right now and he’s really not sure how to handle it.

”Tío Bruno, when is your novia coming?”  Ay, Camilo.  Bruno shakes his head and walks out of the room.  Maybe he’ll take a walk.  He can always see if Amelia would like to walk to dinner together.

When he finds himself at her casa, he paces on the porch for a few minutes, muttering to himself and trying to calm his nerves.  He looks down at the jacaranda in his hand, debating with himself on whether or not he should actually give it to Amelia. He takes a deep breath, puffs out his chest, and raises his hand to knock on her door.

Before he can actually knock, she opens the door, smiling at him and biting her lower lip.

“How long…nevermind.  I don’t think I want to know,” Bruno says quickly.  He holds up the flower.  “This is for you.”  She thanks him, taking the vibrant purple flower and putting it in her hair.  She smiles at him, and his chest feels tight.  She looks beautiful.  “I thought maybe you’d want to walk together.  Or maybe you’d need help finding the place?  Probably not.  But anyway, I didn’t have anything else that I needed to do anyway.”  This is not going well, he thinks as he starts to panic.  “NOT that that is why I’m here!  I wanted to be here.  I mean - ”

She reaches out and touches his arm.  He meets her eyes briefly, and he sees amusement there.  His face burns, and he rubs his hand over the back of his neck.  And now I’m sweating, he curses himself.

“I’m glad that you’re here,” she tells him, and he breathes a sigh of relief. “I was really nervous,” she confides.

Bruno looks at her, confused.  “Why are you nervous?”

“I’m not really used to big groups of people,” she admits. “And I know they’re very important to you.  I want them to like me.”

“Why wouldn’t they like you?  You’re perfect.” Bruno flushes more.  “Did I just say that out loud?”

“We can pretend that you didn’t,” she offers, smiling at him.

”I’m just going to stop talking now.”  Bruno’s face feels like it’s on fire.

They walk in silence for a few minutes before Amelia speaks again.  “Any advice?” She asks nervously.

“Just be yourself,” Bruno tells her.  “It’ll be fine, querida.”  He blushes again, and reminds himself that he’ll never hear the end of it if he calls her that in front of his family.

“Are you anxious, too?” she asks him.

“I mean, kind of always,” Bruno laughs.  “Can you…um…can you feel it?”

“Actually, I feel so much of my own right now that I’m not sure I can tell.”  She chuckles.  “Can I ask why you’re anxious?”

“I’ve never brought a guest to dinner before,” he admits.  

Amelia pales.  “Great, no pressure,” she jokes.

“No, it’s…” he takes a breath, trying to ignore his heart racing in his chest.  “I… I’ve told them that we’re not…that we…” He sighs.  “Just, please don’t hold it against me if they say anything horribly embarrassing?”

Amelia giggles.  “It won’t affect how I feel about you.  However, I reserve the right to tease you about it until the end of time.”

Bruno thinks for a moment.  “Okay.  Tough, but fair.”  He looks up at the doorway to his family home.  “Okay, here goes nothing.”

Chapter 7: First Dinner with the Madrigals

Notes:

fair warning to all reading this story - there is no plan. I am just writing what comes to mind, when I feel like it. And usually whatever creativity I have comes in spurts and may go on hiatus. I also go back periodically and revise stuff that's already been posted. Still, hope you enjoy!

Also, this chapter is a bit intense. Maybe should have a trigger warning (self criticisms, depression, panic). I'm kind of assuming that there's a certain amount of trauma that comes with the isolation of living in the walls for a decade.

Bruno’s nerves already feel raw before they enter his family home.

“Amelia, welcome,” Pepa greets her enthusiastically. “Come, siéntese.”  She gestures toward the head of the table, right across from her and next to their mamá.  Julieta brings over some of the dishes, followed by Isabela and Camilo.

Bruno takes his seat between Amelia and Julieta.  He fidgets nervously, twisting his napkin.  He startles slightly when Julieta squeezes his arm, but smiles at her in thanks for the support.

He tries to pay attention, but his heartbeat is in his ears, and it’s so loud.

“Bruno?”  He startles, looking at Félix.  “I said, how did you and Amelia meet?”

Bruno flushes, stuttering as he remembers breaking down in the woods the very first time that they spoke.

Amelia looks at him and smiles.  “We actually bumped into each other very briefly on my first day in town.  Then the next week, we ran into each other and chatted in the woods.”  She lightly bumps her shoulder into Bruno’s.  “Your brother-in-law was my very first friend here.”

“Where did you move here from again?” Félix asks her.

”I was actually living in a small home in the country, outside Cartagena.”

”Did you live out there alone?” his mamá asks, sounding concerned.

”Sí, Señora.”

”It can be dangerous for a woman, alone.  Surely you don’t want to continue to live alone forever…?”

Bruno knows where his mamá is leading, and he wishes he could sink into the floor.

”I guess I haven’t really thought about it much,” Amelia tells her.  

”You know, I’ve been telling Brunito that he should settle down.  Find a nice woman, maybe start a family,” his mamá continues, and he is seriously contemplating the pros and cons of moving back into the walls.  He glares at Camilo, who is choking on a laugh.

Julieta changes the subject, asking how Amelia has been adjusting to the village, and Bruno has never appreciated her more.

He’s so nervous that it’s difficult to eat much.  His mother tries to pass him more arepas, encouraging him to eat.

”I’m eating, Mamá.”

”You need to eat more.  You got so skinny while you were in the walls.”

Bruno’s blood runs cold, and he freezes.  Amelia shoots him a concerned look as he sets his fork down.  “Gracias, pero no tengo hambre,” he says quietly.

It is quiet for a moment, until Pepa starts talking about the new shop in town.  Dios bendiga a mis hermanas, he thinks as he tries to collect himself.  He knows that his mamá means well.  She had no way of knowing that he hadn’t told Amelia where he was living for the past 10 years.  He stares down at his plate, barely aware of the conversation around him.  Amelia keeps shooting him worried glances, and he knows that she can feel that he’s upset.  He doesn’t know how to even begin to explain.

What feels like the longest family dinner ever finally ends, and he asks Amelia quietly if he can walk her home.  She nods, thanking him, and says goodbye to his family and to Casita.

At first they walk in silence.  He feels the urge to say something, but he has no idea what. He doesn't want to talk about being in the walls.  He remembers the way his family looked at him when they found out where he'd been all those years.  He doesn't know how he'll bear it if he sees Amelia look at him that way, too.  With that combination of horror, pity, and what feels like judgment.  His mind swirls.  How could you be so close for so long and never talk to us, Bruno?  What were you DOING for all of that time?  He’s dizzy, and he can feel his breathing start to pick up speed a bit.  How could someone just abandon his family, without even trying to talk to them?  Without saying goodbye?  He remembers hearing them talk about him from behind the wall, and he flashes back to trying to stay quiet while he was crying so hard that he couldn't breathe.  Feeling like the walls were closing in and he was just so completely alone even though the people he loves most were only meters away.  Hearing his sobrinos cry when they asked when he was coming back, sitting there useless and unable to do anything, feeling his heart break over and over again.  He can't go through this again - he can't feel this again.  Didn't Tío Bruno love us?  Why did he go?  His eyes burn, breathing shallow.  

Bruno is barely aware of it when they reach Amelia's home.  "Bruno?" she calls softly to him.  "Please, come in for a few minutes."  He feels frozen.  He doesn't want to move.  He doesn't want to go in, he doesn't want to talk, but he can't breathe.  He tries to think of some reason that he has to go, but his mind is foggy and he can't think straight.  

Amelia touches his arm lightly, and he startles.  "We don't have to talk about it.  But you need to come in and rest for a minute, querido," she tells him gently.  He allows her to guide him into her home, over to her sofa.  He sits stiffly, feeling too much and not enough all at the same time.  She sits next to him. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"  He shakes his head numbly.  "Okay.  I'm just going to sit here with you, okay?"  He nods slightly.  

His mind continues to race, and a tear spills down his cheek.  He feels paralyzed, and he doesn't bother to try to wipe it away.  He has someone right next to him, and he doesn't understand how he still feels so unbearably alone.  He bites his lower lip hard, breathing through his nose.  

Amelia breaks the silence in the room, speaking gently.  “You don't have to keep it together right now,” she tells him.  "It's okay."  And even though she gave him permission to break down, he really doesn't want to.  He's so tired of feeling broken.  "I'm here, no matter what it is."  

He tries to keep it together.  He really does.  But another tear falls, then another, and then his breath catches painfully in his chest.  He lowers his head, feeling ashamed, defective, worthless.  Everything hurts, and his shoulders shake with the effort of holding back his anguish.  When the sobs break free, the force makes it hard for him to stay upright.  He normally wouldn't reach out, but he needs to feel another human being, to know that he's not trapped behind a wall all alone, and he lets himself fall toward Amelia.  He leans his head on her shoulder, and she wraps an arm around him, holding him while he completely falls apart.  His chest aches, heaving with ragged sobs. She murmurs reassurances to him, stroking his arm, and he feels her rest her head against the top of his.  "I've got you," she murmurs.  His breath catches, and he shuts his eyes tightly trying to stop the tears.  "You'll be okay.  And you're not alone."

When his crying slows enough that he can breathe again, she asks, "do you want to talk about whatever is hurting you?"  

He swallows hard around the lump in his throat.  "I...I can't."  He shakes his head slightly.  "I'm sorry.  I don't know how... I ..."

"It's okay," she cuts him off gently, hugging him a little tighter.  "You can talk to me if you want to, when you're ready." 

As he starts to calm down, he feels like he could actually die from embarrassment at how completely he broke down.  He carries this hurt with him all the time, but he jokes, and he deflects, and no one ever sees.   

Suddenly he remembers her gift, and his heart clenches. 

"Did I hurt you?" he asks, panicked.  "I'm so sorry, your gift.  I didn't think...estúpido.  I didn't mean to...are you..."

"I'm okay, Bruno," she answers, and he breathes a sigh of relief. "I can feel it a little," she admits, and he closes his eyes.  "But I learned a long time ago how to distance myself a little bit.  Otherwise I would've gone crazy."  She sounds like she's smiling, but he can’t bring himself to look at her.  He really, really wants to believe that she is telling him the truth, but he's afraid.

He exhales slowly.  "You should probably stay away from me."  He tells her, and he feels her go rigid.

"Is that what you want?" she asks him, voice shaking a little.

"No!  It's...no.  But..." he sighs.  "As you may have noticed, I'm kind of a mess."  He feels her relax a little.  He sighs again, looking down at his feet.  He feels exhausted, and sad. "I'm not an easy person to be around anyway."  That's why I lived in the walls for 10 years, he thinks before pushing it away.  "And with your gift, it can't be any easier."

"It doesn't have to be easy to be worthwhile," she says quietly.  "I care about you."  She hesitates before continuing.  "I've never really had anyone accept me once they knew what I could do.  I appreciate you so much more than I could ever hope to explain.” He closes his eyes, feeling them fill with tears again. “I will keep trying not to feel everything, to give you some privacy, as much as I can.”  Her voice is shaking again.  “And I’ll respect when you tell me that you don’t want to talk about it.  But please don’t push me away.”  Her voice breaks at the end, and before he can second guess himself Bruno wraps his arms around her and hugs her tightly. He can’t speak, but he holds her and hopes that she can feel how much he cares for her.  

He sniffles, wiping away the tear that had escaped down his cheek. “Well, you can’t say I didn’t warn you,” he jokes, voice wobbling a bit.

 She chuckles. “Likewise.”

He hugs her tighter before pulling away. “Don’t we make a pair.”

”By the way, could your mamá have been a little more obvious?” She giggles, and Bruno flushes.

”Dios mío, don’t remind me,” he groans.  “I’m sorry about that.”

”You have nothing to be sorry about.  I’m actually kind of honored that she seems to think I’m good enough for her Brunito,” she teases.

He guffaws.  “I think she’d just about given up on trying to fix me up with anybody.”

”Ouch.  Tell me how you really feel.”

”No,” he protests, then sighs.  “I’m sorry that came out wrong. I just meant -”

”It’s okay, Bruno,” she interrupts him.  “I was only teasing.”

He feels a rush of relief.  “Good, because that’s not what I meant at all.  Really, I should be so lucky.”  His face goes hot.  “And…I’m going to go home and work on getting my foot out of my mouth.”  He stands up, and Amelia follows.  He looks at her shyly, and she smiles at him.  They lock eyes for a moment before he looks away, embarrassed and rubbing the back of his neck. “Ok.  Bye.”  He walks out the door quickly.

Amelia calls after him.  “Want to come over for lunch tomorrow?  I was going to make tamales.”  Bruno looks in her direction and nods.  She smiles broadly.  “Great!  I will see you tomorrow.”  She crosses the distance between them, and gives him a peck on the cheek.  “Have a good evening.”

Bruno’s heart flutters, and on the way home his smile doesn’t leave his face. 

Notes:

Gracias, pero no tengo hambre- Thanks, but I’m not hungry.

Dios bendiga a mis hermanas- God bless my sisters.

Chapter 8: Bruno Can Bake, and Visions are Tough

Amelia busies herself tidying back up her kitchen, trying to keep an eye out for Bruno to arrive.  She is concerned for him still after last night.  She's not sure what exactly happened, but she may have...minimized when she said she could feel what he felt "a little bit."  Before she started trying to actively block his emotions, it felt like she'd been hit with a sledgehammer full of despair. 

She is also still feeling pretty apprehensive.  She's trying to take what he said to her last night at face value, but she is terrified.  All she's ever known is people casting her aside when she couldn't block her gift altogether.  She really does care about Bruno, and she wants so badly to believe that this time will be different.  

She shakes herself out of her thoughts, and feels herself start to smile as she realizes that Bruno is pacing in front of her door again.  She takes a moment to ground herself in her own emotions while she lets him do...whatever it is that he's doing out there.  

When he knocks on the door, she greets him with a grin.  "Come in, come in.  I was just finishing up the tamales."  She points to the stove, where they've been steaming for just over an hour.  She starts setting the table.

"Can I help?" Bruno asks hesitantly.  

"I've got it, but thank you."

He shifts awkwardly as she finishes.  "I...uhm...I brought these for you."  His face is red as he holds out a small container.  He rubs his neck with his other hand and pulls the container back a little closer to him.  "Actually, never mind.  They probably aren't very good."

"What are they?" Amelia asks, curious.  

Bruno's face turns even redder, if possible.  "Polvorosas."

She smiles, "I love polvorosas."  She walks over to him and puts her hand on the container in his hand.  "Thank you."  She gives him a conspiratorial grin.  "I never minded dessert first.  Should we have one while we wait for the tamales to finish?"

Bruno stammers as she opens the container, "I don't know, maybe we could...okay...if you want..."

She hands him one of the cookies, and takes one for herself.  His hand is shaking a bit, and he looks at her nervously as she takes a bite.  "I don't know what you were worried about, Bruno.  These are delicious."  She swallows.  "Thank you."  She's surprised by his anxiety - after all, Julieta is a pretty proficient baker.  "Please thank Julieta for me, as well."

"Actually..." he trails off, mumbling, face red. 

"Cómo?"

He looks embarrassed, staring at the table.  "I said, actually I made them."  He starts rushing his words. "I should have asked Julieta.  It was stupid. I just thought, you were making the tamales, and I was trying to do something nice, and...I really can't bake."

She bites her lower lip, nodding at the cookie in his hand.  "Just try it, Bruno," she says kindly.  He takes a small bite.  "See?  I was telling you the truth.  They're very good."  He flushes a little more, but she sees a hint of a smile.  "Thank you very much.  I like them even more knowing that you went to all that trouble."  She squeezes his arm, and he locks eyes with her for a moment, smiling shyly.  

Then her timer goes off, and the moment is interrupted.  She smiles at him as she heads to the stove.  "Tamale time!"  She pauses.  "Siéntate, por favor," she tells him.  "You're my guest today, I've got this."  She serves both of them quickly, then sits at the table with him.  "Do you have any plans for the rest of today?"

His smile drops.  "I have to head into the village for a bit."   

"You don't want to go to the village?"

He shakes his head.  "I don't mind the village.  It's just...it's hard to explain."  He takes a bite of his tamale.  "Wow, these are great."

"Thanks.  Are we changing the subject?  Because I'm not really that good of a cook," she teases.

"They really are very good.  But also, yes please."  He takes another bite.  "What about you?  What are your plans?"

"You're looking at them.  I actually don't have anything else planned at the moment."  She hesitates.  "If it would help to have company, I’d be glad to go with you." 

He looks at her, surprised. "Really?"

"Sí, if you'd like." 

Bruno swallows.  "I'd like that.  Thank you," he says quietly.

They eat in silence for a few moments.

”Okay, I have to ask you a question.” Bruno looks up at her with an expression of dread.  “Did you put cinnamon in the polvorosas?” she asks him, very seriously.  However, she is unable to maintain the look for long without laughing.

Bruno sags with relief, laughing with her.

***

After lunch, Bruno seems to be a bundle of nerves.  Amelia wonders what has him so worked up about going to town, but she doesn’t ask again.  He fidgets with the hem of his ruana most of the way there, oddly quiet.

When they arrive in town, he tells her “I have to go into the bakery. Would you mind if…could I meet you back here in a little while?”

Amelia looks at him, confused.  “I suppose.  I can go into the bookshop next door and wait for you there?”

He looks relieved. “Okay, I’ll try not to be long.”  He walks to the bakery quickly, pausing at the door before entering.

Amelia takes her time browsing through books, but it seems like a long time has passed.  She starts to grow concerned, and looks out the front window toward the bakery.  Suddenly, she sees Bruno reappear, and the door slams behind him.  He looks shaken, and she puts her books down before stepping outside the store.  When he sees her, he looks absolutely gutted, and she reaches out to him.  He jerks away from her, shaking his head and looking around.  

“Bruno, what happened?” she asks him urgently.  He shakes his head again, and the look on his face would pain her even if she couldn’t feel his anguish.  “Come with me,” she says, reaching out again and grabbing his hand.  To her surprise, he holds on, following her out of the village toward the woods.  His breathing sounds harsh, but he is otherwise silent.

When they are isolated, she stops, turning to face him. She keeps holding his hand, and takes the other hand as well.  “Talk to me,” she pleads.  “What happened?”

He shakes his head back and forth.  His eyes are suspiciously bright, and as she looks at him it becomes clear that he’s fighting tears.  He blinks rapidly, biting his lower lip to keep it from trembling, then he closes his eyes and takes some steadying breaths.  She squeezes his right hand gently, and waits.

After a few moments, he opens his eyes and gives her a determined look.  “I’m okay,” he announces.

”You don’t have to be,” she tells him softly.  A pained look crosses his face, and it’s a moment before he answers.

“Yeah, I do,” he mutters.

”Says who?” she challenges, tone not unkind.

“Says everyone!” he explodes, pulling away one of his hands and gesturing wildly.  His voice seems to echo in the trees, and he looks stricken immediately after.  “I’m sorry,” he rushes.  “I didn’t mean…I’m so sorry.”  He starts hyperventilating, twisting and tugging at the bottom of his ruana with his free hand.

She squeezes the hand she is still holding again, then steps toward him.  She raises her other hand up to cup his cheek, and he turns into her touch.  She strokes her thumb over his stubble, and feels his cheek grow damp.  

His breath hitches.  ”I can’t control what I see,” he says shakily.

”I know.  I get that,” she reassures him.

”Why doesn’t anyone else?” he asks her tearfully, lowering his head.

”I don’t know,” she tells him quietly.  His breath catches again, and he looks up.  He makes eye contact with her, and for once he doesn’t look away.  She looks into his green eyes; they shine too brightly, and when a tear spills down his cheek she wipes it away with her thumb.  Her vision blurs slightly, and she blinks her own tears away.  They stay like that for several minutes, Amelia wiping tears from his cheek when they fall.

She realizes she’s still holding his hand, and she squeezes it.

”You’re very sweaty,” he says hoarsely.

She opens her mouth, and closes it again.  Then she starts to laugh.

At first, he looks mortified.  It takes a minute before he starts to laugh, too.  

Chapter 9: Gossip is Uncool

The next time Bruno has to go to town, Amelia goes with him again.  He’s somber, but grateful for the company.  Still, he feels embarrassed that he’s had so much difficulty controlling (or he should say concealing) his emotions.  He used to be so much better at it, but he lived in isolation for so long, where there was no one to hide anything from.  Granted it’s not like he can really hide anything from Amelia anyway, with her gift.  Still, it’d be nice if he could go a few days without getting emotional.

He also worries about her spending time with him.  With most people, he tries to remain stoic just because he wants to save himself from embarrassment.  With Amelia, he worries that his emotions might actually hurt her.  Plus….well, the embarrassment is there, too.

He was surprised when she asked to come with him, given what happened last time.  He doesn’t have any particularly terrible news to share today, so he’s hoping it won’t be as bad as all that.  Still, he’s anxious, and he keeps catching himself fidgeting with the hem of his ruana.  His anxiety increases more and more the closer they get to their destination.

When they arrive in town, he actually feels a little sick.  It looks busy today, which means lots of uncomfortable stares and whispers.  He stares at his feet, only glancing up when absolutely necessary.

He feels a hand slip into his, untangling his fingers from the bottom of his ruana.  He looks over at Amelia in surprise.  She squeezes his hand, smiling at him.  He knows he should pull away; she doesn’t know how being seen with him, like this, could affect her reputation around town.  However, he feels like her hand is grounding him, and he allows himself to be selfish for a little while.

It hurts, even after all these years, the way people look at him.  How some cross the street to avoid him and his bad luck.  He starts to pull away; it’s not fair for the townspeople to look at Amelia the same way.  She gives him a questioning look.  He nods slightly at the women on the corner, whispering to each other and casting glances their way.

She flushes slightly, then leans close to his ear.  He can feel the warmth of her breath, and it sends a shiver down his spine.  “I’m not worried about gossip.  Unless you are.”  She squeezes his hand, and looks at him, waiting.

He takes a breath, exhaling slowly.  He gathers his nerves, and instead of pulling away he threads his fingers through hers. One of the women looks horrified, and he tries to focus on Amelia’s bright smile instead.

”So, where to first?”

”Carnicería.”  He nods to the building 2 doors down.  When they arrive at the door, he hesitates.

”Would you like me to come with you, or wait here?” she asks him quietly.

He sighs.  “Wait for me?”  She nods, and he gives her a small smile.

***
Almost as soon as Bruno disappears inside, one of the women who’d been whispering approaches.

 “Señorita, I couldn’t help but notice you mano en mano con,” she drops her voice to a whisper. “Bruno Madrigal.”

Amelia bristles.  “Yes?”

“I know that you’re new here, so you may not know…él es maldito.”  She looks at her with what appears to be concern.  “You may want to rethink your choice of company.”

Amelia is silent for a moment.  She thinks about how terrified Bruno was to tell her about his gift, how anxious he always is around anyone from town, how he’d been in tears after the last time he had to deliver a vision…and suddenly, she’s furious.

 “¿Cómo te atreves?” She starts speaking lowly.  She doesn’t see Pepa emerge from the shop next door. “What gives you the right to judge him?”

The woman looks taken aback.  “I was only trying to help.  I’m telling you, Bruno Madrigal is bad news.  I’m trying to look out for you.”

 “You know nothing about him,” she hisses.  She still hasn’t noticed Pepa, but the other woman has now, eyes widening at the cloud forming behind Amelia.  “He’s a good man.  You have no idea what you’re talking about.  If I need ‘protection’ from anyone, it’s from judgmental people like you.”

The woman appears to be offended, but she just turns and walks off with her friend.  She stops and glares at Amelia from across the street.  It’s at that moment that Bruno emerges, and Amelia stares back at the woman defiantly while reaching out and taking Bruno’s hand.  Bruno looks confused, but he doesn’t pull away.  Neither of them notice Pepa duck behind a door, hands covering her grin, as the thundercloud dissolves.

“Is everything okay?” Bruno asks Amelia nervously as she leads him away.  Amelia takes a breath, trying to calm herself.  The last thing she wants is to upset him; she knows how hard this is for him already.  She forces a smile.

”I’m fine.”  He looks at her skeptically.  “Really.”  He still looks doubtful.  “Where to next?”

“No more work, thankfully. But I told Mamá that I’d stop and pick up a couple of things for dinner tonight.”

She laces her fingers through his, and he flushes, smiling at her shyly.

”Okay, let’s go,” she tells him with a smile.

*** 

Bruno can’t believe that she held his hand all the way through town.  She seemed… not quite herself, but she also was pretty clear that she didn’t want to talk about it.  He keeps playing things over in his mind, trying to figure out what he might have done to upset her.  She can’t be too mad if she kept holding his hand, ¿verdad?

He’s still lost in thought when he reaches the door and Pepa ambushes him.

 “Bruno, when were you going to tell me about you and Amelia?”

“What are you talking about?”

”What do you mean, ‘what am I talking about?’  I saw you today.”

 “No, that’s not want you think,” he stammers.  “We weren’t….I mean, she doesn’t…” he swallows hard.  “We’re just friends.”

He jumps when he hears a thunderclap.  “Bruno,” his sister says angrily. “You’d better not be stringing that woman along.”

He splutters.  “What? What are you talking about?”

Pepa’s look changes to a pitying one.  “Bruno, seriously.  I know that you’ve been…isolated…” she grimaces. “But even you can’t be so dense.”

He looks at her, offended.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.  She doesn’t…I mean she couldn’t…”

 “Couldn’t what?” Pepa asks him gently.

 “We’re just friends.  She couldn’t want…” he gestures at himself helplessly.

 Pepa looks sad for a moment.  “You’re wrong, hermano,” she tells him kindly.  “You didn’t see what I saw today.”

”I know she…held my hand,” he says, embarrassed.  “But she was just trying to help me.”  Pepa snorts.  Bruno stares a hole in the floor. “Seriously!  She knows how hard it is for me to go to town.  She was just trying to help me, that’s all.”

“Bruno,” Pepa says, lifting his chin with her fingertips so that he is looking at her.  “She cares for you.  Trust me.”  He shakes his head.  “Okay, fine.  Don’t trust me.”  She throws her hands up in the air.  “But you still need to talk to her.  If not for you, then for her.  Because she cares for you, and she’s going to get hurt if you lead her on like this.” He starts to protest, but she takes the sack from his hands, and pats him on the shoulder.  She heads into the kitchen to help with dinner, leaving Bruno alone with his thoughts.

Notes:

mano en mano con-holding hands with

él es Maldito- he’s cursed

¿Cómo te atreves?-how dare you?

Chapter 10: Bruno Tries to Figure Things Out

Bruno hasn’t been able to stop thinking about his conversation with Pepa.  He’s worried, and he’s not sure what to do.  So he defaults to what he’s known for the last ten years…he isolates.  And paces.  He always wondered if the magic somehow knew how anxious he’d be, because the stairs actually come in really handy when he wants to be alone and also needs to move.

He likes Amelia.  He wants to see her.  He misses her, even though it’s only been a few days. He loves his family, but people usually don’t get him.   Before he met Amelia, he didn’t even realize how much he had needed to feel understood.

On the other hand, he hadn’t really thought of her much in the way that Pepa suggested.  Just bringing it up spawned what feels like a thousand butterflies in his stomach.  Because it’s not that he wouldn’t…but he also knows that he can’t.  He sees his sisters and their husbands, and he can’t see himself ever being like that with anyone.  He has no idea how. Plus, what kind of life would that be for her?  He’s always known how everyone in town looks at him, but that day in town, seeing them look at her the same way? Just because she was with him?  It hurt.

He knows that she deserves better. He hears all the reasons repeat over and over in his mind.  He’s too old for her.  He guesses that he’s okay-looking, but sometimes when he looks at her, she looks so beautiful that it steals his breath.  He barely knows how to handle basic human interactions.  Not to mention, he’s got the whole “cursed seer” thing going on.  So, because of all of that, he hasn’t even let himself think about her as more than a friend.  Why invite more heartache?  He feels selfish for even maintaining a friendship knowing what it could cost her.

His joints start to ache, and his muscles burn, and still he feels like he can’t stop pacing.  The fatigue helps his mind to stop racing, at least.  He smiles a little to himself, thinking about how his entryway is an hourglass and he ironically has absolutely no idea how long he’s even been in here.

He finally stops when his entire body feels like it’s made of lead, and also on fire.  He wants to sit, but he’s not sure he’ll be able to get back up.  So he forces himself to walk downstairs to get something of Julieta’s, hoping that he won’t run into anyone along the way.

Of course, he’s never been particularly lucky.  When he makes it to the kitchen, Julieta takes one look at him and hands him an arepa.

”So, would you like to tell me why you look like you’ve just run a marathon?” she asks him, continuing to wipe the countertop.

”Not really,” he answers her truthfully.

”Eat.”

He does, and he almost immediately starts to feel better.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t help at all with his thoughts, or with the butterflies.

“Pepa thinks you’re upset with her,” Julieta tells him casually, keeping her eyes on the section of the counter that she’s cleaning. 

Bruno sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.  “Did she tell you what we talked about?”

Julieta shakes her head, glancing at her brother.  “She told me it had to do with you and Amelia, but she said I’d have to ask you if I wanted to know anything more.”  She gestures to the table.  “Do you want to sit and talk?”

Bruno eyes the table warily, but sits down. Julieta joins him, and the room is silent.  “I don’t know what to say,” Bruno tells her.

”Just start from the beginning,” she says patiently.

So he does.  He tells her about how much he’s enjoyed getting to know Amelia, and about how, for the first time, he feels like someone actually sees him.  He tells Julieta about how Amelia manages to make him smile or laugh when he wants to cry.  He admits that he can spend hours with her without getting bored, and without thinking about the burdens his gift brings.  He tells his sister how much he appreciates Amelia’s friendship, and how afraid he is to lose it.  Julieta just listens, nodding every so often.

”Pepa saw her holding my hand in town,” Bruno explains.  “And she thought something was happening that just…wasn’t.”

”What did Pepa think?”

”That we were…together.”  Julieta raises an eyebrow.  “We’re not!  She was trying to be supportive. And now I’m worried, that if Pepa thought that, maybe others will, too.”

”Would that be so bad if they did?”

”Of course it would, Juli.”  Bruno looks down at the table.  “It’s not fair to her.”

”Why not?” she asks gently.

”Because she deserves better.”  Julieta starts to interrupt, but Bruno continues. “She deserves to find someone who can take care of her, someone her own age…someone whose name was never a literal curse in this town.”

”Bruno, you’re not a curse,” Julieta tells him forcefully.  He keeps his gaze on the table in front of him. “And you don’t talk about her the way a man talks about ‘just a friend,’ hermano,” she says more softly.

He bites his lip.  “Does it even matter?”

”Of course it does.” She pauses.  “So, why did Pepa think you’d be angry?”

”She told me I needed to stop ‘stringing her along’ and talk to her.”  Julieta gives him a pointed look.  “Hey, she also called me dense.”

Julieta smiles at him.   “You know, sometimes sisters give good advice.”

“But what if she doesn’t…?”

”What if she does?” Julieta cuts him off gently.

Bruno sighs, resting his head in his hands.  “I can’t,” he says miserably. “What if I do, and she decides I’m a creep and she doesn’t want to even be friends anymore?”  He hears Julieta stand up, and feels a hand on his back.  “I don’t think I could handle that,” he admits.

“You are the only one who can make this decision,” she tells him, rubbing his back.  “But the person you described?  Sounds like she cares for you a great deal.  Do you really think that having a conversation could ruin what you have?”

He shrugs, still not looking up.

”Sleep on it,” she advises him.  “But Bruno?”  He looks up at her.  “At least go see her tomorrow.  You’ve been isolating yourself in your room for days.  It’s not good for you.”  She squeezes his shoulder, and heads up to bed.  “Te amo.”

”Te amo,” he calls back to her. “Gracias, Juli.”

He hopes he’ll be able to sleep tonight.

Chapter 11: Finally!

Amelia hasn’t seen Bruno for a few days, and she’s embarrassed to say that she’s starting to miss him.  She lived alone for so long; she finds it absurd that she can miss someone after such a short time.

It’s a pleasant surprise when she opens the door to find him pacing on her step, though she hopes she simply has excellent timing and that he’s only just arrived.  She guesses that may not be the case when his face reddens and she feels a spike of anxiety.

”Um…hi,” he waves awkwardly.

She smiles at him. “Hi.  I’m happy to see you.  Come in?”

“Okay.”  He rubs the back of his neck, which is a little flushed as well.

“¿Qué pasa?”

“Oh, um…I…” he stammers.  She reaches out and gently squeezes his arm, and he flushes more.

She looks at him with concern.  “Is everything okay?”

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, and he seems to calm a bit.  “Why wouldn’t it be?”

She regards him warily.  “No reason.”  She starts to feel a little anxiety of her own, but tries to remind herself that whatever it is, he’ll tell her when he’s ready.  At least, she hopes he will.  “What are your plans today?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk.  But you’re probably busy, and I shouldn’t have just come by.  Maleducado. It’s been a little bit, and I wanted to see you, but I shouldn’t have come.  Lo siento,” Bruno says all in the same breath.

Amelia interrupts him when he stops and inhales sharply.  “I’m glad that you’re here, Bruno.”  She smiles at him, and sees him give her a small smile back.  “Really.  I missed you.”  She flushes….she can’t believe she actually told him that.  But she feels his happiness and relief, and suddenly she no longer regrets it.  “And I’d love to take a walk with you.”

***

Amelia is really happy to see him, but Bruno is making her incredibly nervous today.  Even without her gift, it’s painfully obvious that he is struggling with something.  They make small talk, and she tries to just enjoy spending this time with him.  She keeps trying to ground herself, but his anxiety hits her in waves.  Then she gets anxious as well, wondering if she's done something wrong or upset him somehow.  She finally decides she's going to have to just ask him.

"Bruno, lo siento, but I need to ask you what's going on."

He looks at her out of the side of his eye.  "What do you mean?"

"I'm really trying not to feel everything that you are, but..."  she takes a deep breath and lets it out.  She remembers the last time that she told a friend she could feel their emotions at the moment.  The person was immediately defensive, and angry, and accused her of awful things.  They never spoke again.  Amelia doesn't know how she would manage if Bruno reacted the same way.  She tries to steady her nerves, and she gives him an apologetic look.  "I can feel that something is really bothering you.  We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but can you at least tell me if I've done something wrong?"

Bruno actually looks at her, surprised.  "No, of course not."  He swallows.  "I mean, no, you haven't done anything wrong."  

Amelia breathes out a sigh.  "I'm so sorry, I'm not trying to do this.  I know it's awful, and weird, to have someone feel everything you feel.  I promise you, I'm doing the best I can."

"I'm not upset with you, Amelia," Bruno tells her softly.  "I know that you can't control your gift any more than I can control mine."  Amelia feels tears prick her eyes, but the relief is overwhelming.  "I would never judge you for that," he tells her.

They walk in silence for a few minutes, and Amelia focuses on her breathing, gathering her emotions back under control.  

"I don't exactly know how to talk with you about this," he tells her.  Amelia tries to stay calm; in her experience, nothing good has ever followed those words.  "Pepa saw us in town last week."

Amelia's face feels warm.  "I'm sorry if that caused problems for you.  I should've talked to you.  I shouldn't have just held your hand like that."

"It didn't...that's not..." Bruno sighs, frustrated.  "I told Pepa that you were just trying to help me.  That you knew I was nervous, and that you were being supportive.  I told her it didn't mean anything."  Amelia feels a sting of disappointment.  "Not that it didn't mean anything, that's not it," Bruno continues rapidly.  He stops, taking a deep breath before continuing softly. "It means everything to me that you care enough to do that."  He is quiet for a moment.  "I know what people say about me in town.  And I know that, if you want a novio, it's not going to help if you're seen like that around town…especially with me."  He clears his throat.  "What I meant was, I told Pepa that you were just trying to help.  That you see me as a friend, nothing more." 

"What did Pepa say?" Amelia asks apprehensively.

"She basically called me an idiot and told me I needed to talk to you."  Amelia laughs a little despite herself.  "So, I guess...I'm talking to you."

"Okay," Amelia says hesitantly.  "So, what exactly do you think we need to talk about?"

"I'm not sure," Bruno says, chuckling nervously.

“You know, it wouldn’t bother me.  If people did think that we were together, I mean,” she tells him cautiously. Bruno looks at her in shock.

"You're really not worried?" he asks her, and his voice sounds a bit hopeful.  She shakes her head, and he smiles just a little.

"But how you feel about it matters, too," she tells him.  "How do you feel if people think that?  About us?"

"I..." Bruno swallows hard.  "Honestly, I'd feel honored if people thought that somehow I was good enough for you."

"What do you mean good enough?" Amelia asks him, flabbergasted.

"Come on, Amelia," Bruno scoffs.  "You've seen how they look at me.  You can probably feel how they feel towards me."  

"They don't know you," she tells him gently. 

"Still, they think they know enough."  He sighs.  "I don't really know why you put up with me at all.  I can't imagine that you'd...” he trails off, shaking his head.  “Nevermind."

"Can't imagine that I'd what?" she asks softly.

"I can't imagine that you could ever care for me like that.  I'm..." he shrugs helplessly.  "Like I said before, I'm kind of a mess.”  He gives her a wry smile.  “And you're kind, and considerate, and..." he takes a deep breath, before continuing quietly.  "And you're beautiful.  On the inside and the outside."  

"Bruno," she starts, and he cuts her off.

"I know, I know.  I made it weird," he tells her quickly with a nervous laugh.  "I don't know when to stop talking.  Estúpido.  Why did I tell you that?”  He draws in a breath.  “Can we just forget the last five minutes?" he pleads.

She pulls gently on his arm to stop him.  When he pauses, she leans up and kisses him on the cheek.  "I'd much rather that we didn't."

He stops and looks at her, and when they make eye contact his gaze is more intense than she's ever felt, from anyone.  He looks at her like he might kiss her, but then he turns his head away.  She tries not to feel disappointed.  "Tengo miedo," he admits.  Then, in barely a whisper, adds, “I don't want to lose you."  

She cups his cheek with her hand, turning his face gently back toward her.  He keeps his eyes down.  "You won't."  She waits for him to look at her.  Touching his face, she can feel how scared he is.  "We don't have to do anything, to be anything, that you don't want."  She swallows, and feels her face flush.  "But I like you.  And I'm not embarrassed, or worried about what anyone would think.  We can be just friends if that's what you want.  I'm not going anywhere."  She pauses, trying to gather her courage.  "But I'd also be honored if you wanted to call me tu novia, cariño." 

He gapes at her before averting his gaze, restless and fidgeting.  The next few minutes feel agonizing.  Amelia tries to wait, to give him a minute to process, but it's a struggle.  She drops her hand away from his face, wondering if she's just screwed everything up.  Bruno looks conflicted, but after a moment he surges forward.  Amelia turns to look at him, and his kiss lands on her nose.

He looks stunned, and Amelia isn't feeling much different.  Bruno turns bright red.  "I'm sorry, that was..." he rubs his hand on the back of his neck.  "I was aiming for your cheek.  And you turned, and...I..."

Amelia can feel his mortification.  She cautiously puts both hands on his shoulders.  When he finally looks at her, she leans upward.  He leans in just a little as well, and she brushes her lips against his. She feels a rush of emotions, only some of which are her own.  When they separate, he looks into her eyes and reaches for her hand.  He's looking at her like she hung the stars, and she threads her fingers through his.  

Notes:

Maleducado- he’s calling himself rude
Tengo miedo-I’m scared
Novia-girlfriend
Cariño -honey

Chapter 12: Fluffy Bunny

Summary:

This is a little bit of a fluff chapter. Thanks for reading!

Bruno can’t believe she kissed him.

He can’t believe she kissed him.  He’s elated.

He’s also terrified that he’s going to mess this up, but he tries to focus on the positives.  When he walks into Casita, he’s smiling.  He finds Pepa and Julieta together in the kitchen, and he hugs them each in turn without saying a word.

“What has you so chipper all of a sudden?” Pepa asks him, smiling.

Bruno bites his lower lip, grinning.  “She likes me,” he admits.

”Of course she does,” Pepa says, exasperated.

”She kissed me.”

Pepa forms a tiny rainbow over her head, clapping her hands together while Julieta smiles knowingly.  “Awww, Brunito!” Pepa coos excitedly.  “Are you going to tell mamá?”

Bruno groans.  “Do I have to?  Pepi, she’s going to start planning our wedding.”

”Most likely,” Pepa grins.  “But can you imagine if she hears it from someone else?”

Bruno puts a hand on his forehead, partially covering his eyes.  “I know, I know.”

“We’re very happy for you, Brunito,” Julieta tells him kindly, smiling.  “Mamá will be, too.”

“Sí, now tell us the whole story,” Pepa prompts him excitedly.

“Actually, we went for a walk and I told her that you saw us in town and called me an idiot,”  Bruno tells her drily. Julieta covers a laugh.

“I did not!” Pepa protests.

“I apologized.  Told her that she couldn’t want to be associated with me like that,” he tells them, trying to ignore both of his sisters’ sad looks at that.  “And she told me that she wouldn’t mind if people thought she was mi novia.”  He flushes, smiling as he remembers. I'd also be honored if you wanted to call me tu novia, cariño.  He feels like his heart could burst.

After another round of excited cooing, and another rainbow, Bruno escapes upstairs.

He tells his mamá after dinner, and she surprises him by just patting his cheek and telling him to “treat her right.”  

When he falls asleep that night, it’s actually restful, and he doesn’t have nightmares.

He wakes in a good mood.  He still feels practically giddy about his (he can’t believe it) novia.

He decides that he can take a day off from dealing with any non-urgent vision-related matters.  He feels butterflies when he thinks about going to visit Amelia.  He spends what he considers to be a ridiculous length of time trying to look presentable.  He’s actually grateful rather than annoyed when Pepa interrupts and helps him tame his curls.

When he finally gets out the door, the butterflies feel like they’re swarming up into his throat.  What if she’s changed her mind?  What if someone finally talked some sense into her and convinced her not to spend time with “Bad News Bruno”?

He has to stop thinking about it; he feels like he might pass out from the anxiety.  He works on self-soothing on the way to her house, and by the time he arrives he feels nervous but at least he can breathe.

He takes a deep breath before knocking on her door.

When she opens the door, her face lights up and the sight takes his breath away for an entirely different reason.

He asks her to just take a walk with him, and she agrees.  He knows he needs to take her on an actual “date,” but he’s still so anxious about reactions from people in town.

“How are you today?” she asks him.

“Really good,” he answers, and he realizes that for the first time in a long time he actually means it.   “How was your night, cariña?”

“Great,” she answers with a smile.

He’s not sure why he’s feeling so nervous to just reach out and hold her hand.  He can’t shake the feeling that it’s too good to be true…can’t shake the fear that she’ll reject him.  He scolds himself internally.  When he finally does force himself to reach for her hand, she intertwines her fingers with his.  His heart beats a little faster, but he breathes a sigh of relief.

One thing he really appreciates about Amelia is that they don’t have to talk during every moment.  He loves talking with her, but it’s hard not to get overstimulated after a decade of isolation.  Especially with the way his mind keeps racing.  He doesn’t know if she does it for him, or if she just finds the silence peaceful as well.  Either way, he’s surprised by how comfortable he feels with her, even walking in silence.

He knows that his hands are sweating, but Amelia is kind enough not to point it out if she notices.  He enjoys holding her hand, feeling connected to her.  Sometimes actually having human connection doesn’t feel real; he went without for so long.  He shakes his head, trying not to think about his time in solitude.  Amelia looks at him curiously, but she doesn’t press him.  He’s grateful for that.  He knows that eventually he’ll have to tell her.  He just isn't sure how to do so, and he’s not sure that he’s ready to cope with whatever her reaction might be.  He tries to refocus his mind and emotions in the present.  He can just enjoy being with her; he doesn’t have to figure everything out today.

It’s peaceful on their walk, and Bruno feels at peace so very rarely.

Chapter 13: Visions Suck

Summary:

Bad visions are no fun.

Bruno remembers the first time he had a bad vision.  He was six years old, and a girl from school asked him if her aunt was going to get better soon.  Naively, he looked into the future, and he saw the girl's aunt pass away, saw her family mourn her.  He looked at the girl with tears in his eyes, and told her that he was sorry...but he didn't think her aunt was going to get better.

She slapped him, and called him "maldito" as she left, crying.  Everyone stared at him as Bruno started to cry, too.  No one comforted him.  They were all too afraid that he'd give them a bad vision, too.

Bruno went home crying, and he cried every day for a week.  His mamá, exasperated when he wouldn't talk to her about what was wrong, told him that he was a man and that he needed to learn to control his emotions better.

By the time he was a teenager, he was used to people calling him a curse.  He was used to the bad, and sometimes terrifying visions.  He was used to the nightmares that would often come afterward.  And he knew not to go looking for sympathy.  He still cried, and he felt ashamed every time, but at least he learned to cry alone.

Earlier this week, he had a bad vision.  He had to tell the person; he couldn't live with himself if he didn't warn the man about what was coming.  He tried to tell him that he was sorry, but the man angrily called him "maldito" and stalked away.

He went home, hid in his room, and cried.

Now he can't leave his room, because he can't stop crying.

***

Don't go over to La Casa Madrigal.

Amelia really wants to see Bruno.  It's been days again.  She'd thought that they had a really nice time the other day.  She starts second-guessing herself.  Maybe Bruno doesn't want to be her novio, and doesn't know how to tell her.  Maybe he got freaked out about her gift.  Maybe he just doesn't want to see her.  

She sighs, and decides to get ready and distract herself by going into town.

She is browsing in the bookshop when she feels a small tap on her arm.  She turns around and is surprised to see Antonio.  Félix waves at her from the doorway.  

"Señorita Amelia?"

"It's nice to see you, Antonio."  She smiles warmly.  “What can I do for you?”

He smiles back shyly at her. "It's nice to see you too."  The worried look that crosses his face suddenly makes him look much older.  "Can you please come see Tío Bruno?"

"I'm not sure if your tío wants me to come over right now,” she answers him cautiously.  “I'm always happy to see your tío, though."

Antonio leans toward her, gesturing with his hand for her to come closer.  When she crouches down to his level, he whispers, "I think he's really sad."

"Why do you say that?" she asks him, concerned.

"Because I haven't seen him come out of his room all week," Antonio confides.  "And the rats told me he was crying."

"The rats?"

"They're friends with Tío Bruno.  They talk to me."

Amelia still hasn't learned everyone's gifts yet, but she assumes that in the Madrigal family the rats might actually be talking to Antonio.  

So much for not going to La Casa Madrigal, Amelia thinks as she assures Antonio that she will visit his uncle today.

When she arrives, she sees why Antonio was concerned.  She doesn't even get to the door before she starts to feel a tightness in her chest.  "Hola, Casita.  I'm here to see Bruno, if that is okay?”

Casita opens the door for her, and uses the tiles to point her up to Bruno's room.  She hesitates, and Casita opens the door.

"Shouldn't I knock first?"

Casita uses the tiles again to push her to the doorway.  

She hasn't seen inside Bruno's room, and is surprised to see a giant hourglass, with falling sand.  "So do I just walk through the sand...?"  Casita pushes her again, and she takes that as a yes.  

She peeks through the sand, parting it with her hands.  She looks at the stairs, then back at the doorway.  "You're kidding me, right Casita?"  

Casita makes an arrow with the tiles, and Amelia peers through the hourglass again.  She sees a small hidden door.  "Ah.  Gracias."  She walks through the sand, shaking it out of her hair and patting her clothes.  She walks to the door, raises her hand to knock, and pauses.  She takes a deep breath and knocks.

It takes a few minutes, and she is just about to try knocking again when the door creaks open.  Bruno peers around, and she bites her lip.  He looks terrible.  His hair is a mess, and his eyes are rimmed with red.  He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.  

"Uh...Amelia...hi?" He rubs his hand on the back of his neck, looking at the floor.  "What...um...what are you doing here?"

"Well, I missed you," she admits.  "But also, Antonio asked me to come.  He was worried about you."  

Bruno chuckles nervously.  "I don't know why he asked you to come.  I'm fi-..."  He stops suddenly.  "Okay, I guess you probably know that I'm lying."

"Can I come in?"

He reluctantly opens the door and moves aside, allowing her to enter.  The room is very small, just a bed.  There's also a tiny stage, which she fights the urge to ask about.

"Do you, um, do you want to sit?" he asks.  Amelia sits on the bed, and Bruno sits as well.  "What, exactly, did Antonio tell you?" he asks her quietly, looking down at his lap.

"He told me that you'd been in here all week, and that he thought you were sad."

"Oh."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks him.  He shrugs, blinking rapidly as his eyes fill with tears.  "Can I hug you?" she asks.  He nods, and she wraps her arms around him.  He buries his face in the crook of her neck, and she feels warm tears trickle onto her skin.  She rubs his back, and he sniffles.  She doesn't know what's wrong, so she's not sure what to do.  She blinks away tears of her own; she can feel how much he's hurting right now, but she can't break down.  He's so afraid of hurting her already.  

"I'm cursed," he blurts out, then his breath catches.

"I understand why you'd feel that way."  And she does.  There have been times that she has felt that her own gift was more of a curse.  "But you're not cursed, Bruno."  He sobs once, and she feels him tense, fisting the back of her shirt.  She can feel him trying to hold himself together.  "Easy, I've got you."  She swallows hard, rubbing the tense muscles of his back and trying not to break down herself.  "If you need to cry, then go ahead and cry.  It's okay."

It takes a moment before she feels him start to relax in her arms.  She keeps holding him, and eventually he lets himself really cry.  His breath comes in painful gasps as she rubs slow circles on his back. Her heart aches for him; she smooths his hair and kisses him on the top of his head, murmuring reassurances to him quietly.  

It feels like a long while before his broken sobs stop.  ”I'm so tired," he whispers tearfully, voice muffled.  "I see so many bad things, and everyone's always angry.  It's always my fault."  His voice breaks on the last word, and she hugs him a little tighter.

"It's not your fault.  Your gift isn't to control the future, querido, it's just to see it."  His shoulders tremble as she continues rubbing his back.  

"I have nightmares almost every night," he confesses, voice still thick with tears.  "Sometimes I ask myself what I did wrong, why I have to do this."  Her heart breaks for him. He sniffles.    "It's hard not to blame yourself when everyone else does, you know?" he mumbles.

"I'm so sorry you have to go through that," Amelia tells him after a moment.  "I can't even imagine what that was like, especially as a child."

He sobs again, and it takes a few minutes before he's able to collect himself enough to answer her.  "I don't think anyone else has ever thought about it like that."  He lets out a shuddering breath, then pulls back and wipes roughly at his face.  "It’s always ‘Bruno, why can't you have a good vision?  Bruno, why did you have to tell them that?  Bruno, it's your responsibility to use your gift for the good of the community.’” He scoffs.  He wipes his face again; he’s stopped crying, but his eyes are puffy and rimmed with red.  "You know, I used to believe them, that I was evil.  That I could somehow make bad things happen," he admits quietly.  "I tried to have good visions, and I couldn't, and I hated myself for it."

"You do know, now, that it's not your fault, right?"

"Sometimes." He sighs.  “But it depends on the day.”

They sit in silence for a few moments.

"So, can Antonio talk to animals?"

Bruno nods.  "Why?"

"He told me that some of your friends, um, 'ratted' you out."

Bruno groans, but he smiles just a little.  "That was terrible."

"Yeah, it was.  But it made you smile, so my plan worked."  She smiles warmly at him.  He blushes, looking down, but she can see a smile playing at his lips.  "Come on."  She nudges his shoulder with hers.  "You need to get out of here for a little bit.  Let's go for a walk."

"Fine," he says reluctantly.  "But give me a minute so I can try to look...less like this."

She giggles and smooths his hair a little.  "I'll wait for you in the indoor desert outside your bedroom."  She kisses him on the cheek, and flounces out.

Chapter 14: A Somewhat Peaceful Walk

Bruno meets Amelia outside the small bedroom where he sleeps. Other than sneaking out to the bathroom, and down to the kitchen late at night, it’s the first time he’s been out of his room in days.  He’s not sure how to feel right now.  He appreciates her so much, but he’s really embarrassed.  

He’s also a little upset that the rats told his five year old nephew what was going on with him.  He feels guilty; it’s not right for Antonio to have to deal with adult problems when he’s so very young.  Bruno understands that all too well.

When Bruno reaches the doorway, he hesitates.  Amelia smiles at him and takes his hand.  He happens to see Antonio in the hallway, and the relieved look on his nephew’s face feels like a knife in his heart.  But Antonio is smiling, and Bruno gives him a nod and a small smile back.

When they step out into the sun, Bruno squints.  Yeah, he’s probably been in the dark for too long.

They don’t really make small talk, and it’s helpful in grounding him.  His thoughts always feel so loud.

It catches him a little off guard when Amelia does finally speak.  “Discúlpame, querido,” she starts.  “But I don’t really know how your gift works.”  He tenses immediately.  “Can I ask you a question?”  He nods hesitantly.  “Do you have to try to see the future, or does it just ‘happen’?”

”Why do you ask?” he asks her quietly, trying to think of how to answer.

”I know you don’t have a choice in what you see,” she tells him cautiously.  “But I wondered if you have any choice in whether you see the future or not?”

Bruno sighs.  “It’s…complicated.  I have to try to have a prophecy.  But sometimes I see just a little bit of something, whether I want to or not.  Usually it happens when I’m sleeping.”

Amelia looks contemplative.  “If it happens when you’re sleeping, how do you know if it’s a vision or just a dream?”

“It’s hard to explain, but visions look…different.”  He smiles sadly.  “I’ve had dreams about visions though, and that gets tricky.  Sometimes when I wake up I don’t know if I had a vision, or if I just dreamt that I was having a vision.”  He exhales slowly.  “When I was young, I had a nightmare of a vision…a vision where Julieta and Pepa, well…” He swallows hard.  It’s still hard to talk about, even years later.  He’d been terrified.  “It was the only time that I ever looked into my sisters’ futures on purpose.  I had to know.”

”How old were you?”

”About 10, I think.”  She squeezes his hand, and he shakes his head.  “So, have you seen the sky today?  Talk about blue.”  There.  That wasn’t a totally awkward subject change, he thinks wryly.  He pauses for a moment, then asks hesitantly, “Can you tell me a little bit more about yours?”

”What would you like to know?” she asks, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye.  She picks up speed just a little, and he has to adjust to keep up with her.  He wonders if maybe he shouldn’t have asked, and kicks himself mentally.  He hates talking about his own gift; he should have known better.

”Never mind, we can talk about something else,” he says quickly.

Amelia takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.  “I’m sorry.  I’m just…every time I’ve talked about it with someone, that ended up being one of the last conversations we ever had.”  She swallows.  “And I really don’t want that to happen with you,” she says softly.

“It won’t,” Bruno tells her quietly.  He pauses, trying to think of how to respond.  “Believe me, I know what that’s like.  I would never do that to you.”

Amelia lets out a shaky laugh.  “You have no idea how much that…” She shakes her head.  “Seriously, I could kiss you right now.”

”No one is stopping you,” he tells her lightly, but he can feel himself blush.

She stops, tugging slightly on his arm.  He turns toward her, and when he meets her eyes she leans in and kisses him softly.  He can still feel her on his lips when she pulls back a moment later.

They walk in silence for a little while before Amelia starts to speak.  “I have to actively try not to feel what other people are feeling.  It’s better than it used to be.  I used to feel like I was going crazy if I had to be around a big group of people.”  She sighs.  “To be honest, that can still be hard. It’s stronger depending on how intense the feeling is, in whomever it belongs to.”  She cringes.  “And it’s stronger when I touch someone.  And with people I’m close to.”  She exhales shakily.  “So, now you can see” she swallows “…why no one wants to be close to me.”

“I do,” he blurts out.  He feels like he’s on fire for a moment, and he anxiously rubs the back of his neck with his hand.  But the smile he sees on her face makes it impossible to regret what he said.  

“You’re right, by the way,” she tells him nonchalantly.  He looks at her, confused.  “The sky.  Very blue.”  She grins at him, and he lets out a small chuckle.  “Okay, one more question.  What’s with the tiny stage in your bedroom?”

He turns beet red.  How is he even going to explain this?  “Antonio told you about the rats?”

She nods.  “He said that they’re your friends.”

He takes a deep breath, and says as quickly as possible, “Sometimes I write plays for the rats to put on.”

She giggles, and Bruno immediately feels a rush of shame.  “How do you get them to actually act?”  He looks at her, shocked.  “Will you show me?  Please?” she asks him excitedly.  He nods warily.  “How did you even decide to start doing that?  That is so random.  I seriously love it already.”

Don’t tell her you lived in the walls of the house.  DON’T tell her you lived in the walls of the house.  “Um, for awhile I didn’t really have much else to do.”  Bruno, do NOT tell her you lived in the walls of the house.  “I kind of, um, lived in the walls for awhile.”  Seriously?  Idiota.  “Dios mío, I can’t believe I just told you that,” he mutters. His chest feels tight, and it’s hard to breathe all of a sudden.

“I never noticed all the beautiful flowers around here,” Amelia says quietly.  He looks at her in surprise.  “I always really liked heliconias,” she continues.  “But the jacarandas and tabebuias are beautiful, too.”  Bruno feels himself start to breathe a little easier.  “Plus, the greenery.  I always especially liked the really deep greens.”

”Green’s my favorite color,” he tells her quietly.  “I think that’s why the miracle made my visions green.”

They walk in silence again.  “Thank you,” he says.  He clears his throat.  “And thank you for coming over today.”

”You’re welcome.”  She squeezes his hand, and he squeezes back.

Chapter 15: The Walls

Summary:

More angst, because that’s what I like to write.

Amelia isn’t sure what to think.  Bruno was actually living in the walls?  Jesus.

She has a thousand questions she wanted to ask, but she could tell that he wasn’t ready to talk about it.  It had to be hard for him to tell her even what he did; he didn’t deserve to be interrogated into a panic attack.  So she started talking about flowers and foliage until he calmed down.  But she is also having a hard time getting it out of her mind.  She felt like she’d been isolated due to her gift, but she can’t even imagine how Bruno must have felt.  Suddenly his breakdown after the family dinner makes a lot of sense.

The last thing she wants to do is push him away.  He’s been so kind and accepting of her, and she genuinely enjoys his company.  He’s a little odd, sure, but so is she.  He’s sweet and quirky, and she finds his little oddities endearing.  

She’s also really hoping that they don’t mess this up. It’s becoming more and more apparent to her that he might be just as wounded as she is.  This isn’t going to be easy, for either of them.  She doesn’t think that he’s weak, and even in her worst moments she doesn’t really think that about herself, either.  It’s just that it is so hard to connect with someone anyway, and they both have so many emotional scars.  She wants to ask him about the walls, but she’s scared she’ll hurt him, or that he’ll push her away. Or both.

It’s hard being both strong and fragile at the same time, and she’s starting to think that she and Bruno may be two sides of the same coin.

***

Bruno puts his hands over his ears, trying to block the voices he hears.  Bruno didn’t care about this family!  We don't talk about Bruno.  Why did Tío Bruno go away?  Bruno's vision is coming for YOU.  He sees your dreams and feasts on your screams.  He has his eyes closed tightly, and he still feels tears trickle down his cheeks.  

He manages to calm down, but he can’t stop thinking about his time in the walls.  He can’t stop wondering what Amelia is thinking.  He can’t get his mind to just stop.

He’s glad there haven’t been any requests for visions in the last couple of days, because he’s not sure he could actually do it.  He’s been leaving his room, though, mainly trying to put on a façade so Antonio will stop worrying.  He’s too young to have to take care of his uncle, he thinks bitterly.  They all had to grow up too fast, but maybe things can be different for Antonio.

Maybe he’ll feel better when he tells Amelia about the last ten years.  Maybe he’ll actually be able to relax and sleep.

Of course, with his luck it’s equally likely that she’ll run screaming in the other direction. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time he’s evoked that response.  And sadly, it probably won’t be the last.

A small part of him actually hopes that she does run.  Because it would hurt now, but if this lasts long enough for him to share his whole heart?  It would probably shatter him to the point that he couldn’t put himself back together again.  He’s survived a lot, but he’s not sure if he could survive that level of heartbreak.

He’s already gotten too attached to her.  He knows how this ends.  It ends like every other relationship in his life.  When he thinks about how close they’ve gotten, the affection he feels is almost drowned out by panic.  A small part of him points out that he has reconnected with his family, but a larger, more wounded part of him feels like he’s still stuck behind that wall.

Honestly, he probably would have run by now, but he can’t bring himself to hurt her.  And for God knows what reason, it seems like she wants him around.  He’d rather protect her than protect himself, painful as it might turn out.

He feels like he’s giving himself emotional whiplash.

Maybe just getting it out there is the best thing, he reasons with himself. Then she can decide to walk away early before he gets his heart broken.  Or at least, before he gets any more attached to her than he already is.

***
Bruno has to work very hard not to turn tail and run before he reaches Amelia’s house.  Her whole face lights up when she opens her door and sees him; he tries to commit that image to memory before he screws it all up.

”My mamá wanted me to invite you for dinner tomorrow night,” he tells her stiffly.

”I’d love to,” she tells him.

”Um, can we talk first?”

”Okay,” she says, looking a little worried.  “Do you want to come in?”

He nods, and follows her inside the door.  His heartbeat is in his ears; he barely hears her ask him to sit.  She perches on the sofa next to him, but she looks tense.  He decides to just blurt it out; otherwise he’s not sure how he’ll ever say it.

“I spent 10 years in the walls of Casita.”  He stares down at his hands, unable to look at her.  “On Mirabel’s fifth birthday, the gift ceremony didn’t work.  She didn’t get a gift,” he starts quietly, picking at his nail.  “Mamá was worried about the magic, and she begged me to look into the future and see what it meant.”

He realizes his nail bed has started to bleed.  Amelia reaches over and takes one of his hands, gently separating them.  He closes his eyes.  “The vision…I saw the magic in danger...our house... breaking... and then... and then, and then... I saw Mirabel, but…older.”  He laughs nervously.  “Well, I mean, I saw Mirabel how she looks now.  I didn’t know it at the time, but the vision actually came to pass right after Antonio’s gift ceremony.”  He takes a deep breath.  “Anyway, back then I knew how it was gonna look. I knew what everyone would think, because I’m Bruno and everyone always assumes the worst... so... so...I smashed the vision tablet, and I hid the pieces and I left.”  He swallows around a lump in his throat.  Amelia remains quiet.  “I left, but I didn’t…leave.”

“You left to protect Mirabel,” she realizes . He nods without looking at her.  “But why did you move into the walls?  Why didn’t you actually leave?”

Bruno chuckles nervously again, still looking down.  “Well, the mountains around the Encanto are pretty tall... and well, my little hideyhole was kitchen-adjacent.  Free food and all that..” he sighs, suddenly feeling very weary.  “My gift wasn’t helping the family... but uh... but I love my family, you know... I just didn’t know how to... I just didn’t know how to...”  He trails off then, before he loses the battle against the tears currently blurring his vision.

“So you just watched from the walls?  For ten years?”  He nods stiffly, face burning with shame.  “How did you stay sane?” She pauses, and that question would make him laugh if Bruno wasn’t sure that the laugh would turn into a sob.  “How long have you even been back?”

“Just for a few months,” he forces out, mumbling.  He keeps his head down, unable to look at her.  He stops talking, and stays quiet and still until the shame feels like it could drown him.  Then he shifts awkwardly and shakes his head.  He starts speaking again quickly. “Well anyway, I think I should go, because um -- well, I don’t really have a good reason, but if I did, you’d be like, yeah, you should go because that’s a good reason.”

Despite his words, he stays frozen.  They are silent for a moment, and he tries not to feel hopeful about the fact that she’s still holding his hand. Probably in shock, he thinks.  She’s probably trying to decide how to tell me that she never wants to see me again.  He tries to be patient, but when he feels tears threaten again he speaks.  “Please say something,” he pleads softly.

He hears her sniffle, and that surprises him into looking up. He feels a sick pit in his stomach.  “Oh no, I’m sorry.  You can feel what I feel.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I’m-I’m just going to go.”  He starts to stand up.  “I’m so sorry, Amelia,” he says, voice breaking.

She keeps a hold of his hand.  “Bruno, don’t go,” she rasps.  He looks at her in shock.  “You didn’t hurt me.  I feel sad for you.”  She exhales shakily.  He sits back down, cautiously.  “I can’t imagine how alone you must have felt.  To have the people you love so close and also so far away.”  She sniffles.

He closes his eyes, and his own tears finally fall.  He sits silently for a moment, warm tears streaming down his cheeks.  “I was afraid to tell you,” he admits quietly.  “I thought you’d decide that you’ve had enough.”  He sighs, and rubs his eyes, then wipes at his cheeks.  He opens his eyes, but he continues to avoid eye contact.

”Enough of what?” she asks him gently.

”Enough of…” he gestures to himself, unable to get the words out.  He closes his eyes again, covering them with his free hand.  Tears continue to escape down his cheeks, and his breath hitches.  

“Of course not,” she chides gently.  She pulls her hand away, and he panics for a moment before he feels her arms wrap around him.  “You know, I lived in the woods, alone, for more than five years,” she starts quietly.  “I was tired of everyone pushing me away, so I started keeping people at a distance before they could.”  She hugs him a little tighter.  “Then I met you, Bruno, and I decided to take a chance.”  He sniffles, tears still streaming, unable to open his eyes and look at her.  “And I’m so glad that I did,” she murmurs. His breath hitches when she follows that with, “You are so caring, and loyal, and understanding.  I’m lucky to know you.  And I know that I want you in my life.  Nothing you could tell me will change that, cariño.”

Bruno tries not to, but he has to pull away for a moment.  “Knock, knock, knock.  Knock on wood,” Bruno says nervously, knocking on the coffee table and then on his head.

He realizes she is staring at him, and his cheeks burn.  He mentally kicks himself.  Before his negative thoughts can go too far, he feels her arms wrap around him again.  “You know what?  I’m going to let that go today,” she tells him lightly.

“I’m not okay,” he admits quietly.

”You don’t have to be,” she tells him.  She kisses his cheek, and he finally gets up the courage to look at her.  “There you are.”  She smiles at him kindly, and then gently wipes his cheeks.  He tips his head down, resting his forehead against hers.  After a moment, she kisses him at the corner of his lips. She makes eye contact with him, and he fights back a ridiculous urge to tell her that he loves her.

So much for not getting too attached.

 

Chapter 16: Mi Vida

Notes:

Thoughts? Is this too soon?

Also, in case it wasn’t clear, his family doesn’t know about her gift. Because unlike some people (cough, Dolores)…Bruno can keep a secret.

Also, in my headcanon Camilo is a mischievous little…scamp, in case there are any young’uns reading.

Amelia wonders if she’s ever going to stop being anxious around Alma Madrigal.

“Amelia, it would be very nice, now that you and Bruno are novios, if we could meet your family.”

Crap.

“Mamá, please,” Bruno shoots Amelia an apologetic look.

“What, Bruno?  It’s only proper that we should get to know your novia’s family.  What if you decide to get married?”

Bruno chokes on his water, then pounds on his chest, coughing.  When he catches his breath, Pepa winks at him.

“Actually, Señora, I don’t really have family,” Amelia tells her quietly.  “I never knew my parents.  My father’s cousin raised me until I was 14, but then he made it clear that I was on my own.”

She looks down at her plate.  Bruno reaches over and squeezes her hand gently.  They hadn’t talked about her family before, and she’s glad that he’s not put off.  She thinks for a moment about how grateful she is for his silent show of support.

“That’s terrible,” Pepa fumes, a storm cloud forming over her head.  “I’m so sorry, Amelia.”

Amelia gives her a small smile.  “Gracias, but it was a long time ago.”

“Well, if you and Brunito get married, then you’ll have plenty of family, cariña,” Señora Madrigal says with finality.

Bruno, thankfully, hasn’t just taken a drink this time.  “Mamá, por favor.  Estás avergonzándola.”

“It’s fine.  I’m not embarrassed,” she tells Bruno quietly.  She flushes a little, but she can feel his happiness at her words and it soothes her.  “I’d be honored if I were to become a part of this family someday.”  She looks at the matriarch and smiles.  “We just haven’t been together for very long yet, Señora.”

“I understand,” She nods in response.  “But you know, my Pedro and I were not together for very long before we married. And before much time had passed, we had three beautiful children together.”

“Okay, Mamá.  I think Bruno has picked up on the very subtle hints you’ve dropped,” Pepa tells her.  Señora Madrigal gives her an admonishing look.

“Careful, cuñado.  She’ll have you married off within a year of coming out of the walls,” Félix teases.

Several members of the family laugh.  Bruno chuckles as well, but she can feel that he’s hurt. She gives him a questioning look, and he shakes his head slightly. 

When dinner ends, Amelia helps Julieta with the dishes.

“Dinner was delicious, Julieta.  I can’t believe you did all that cooking yourself.”

”Gracias,” she says with a smile. “I enjoy cooking, very much.  I’m a little surprised that the miracle didn’t connect my door directly to the kitchen.”  Julieta washes in silence then, while Amelia dries. Julieta points out where to put things back in the cabinet.  “Thank you very much for your help.”

“Of course.” Amelia nods.

“Pepa and I are both very glad that you and Bruno have gotten together.”  Julieta pauses.  “Pepa heard you, you know.  When you defended our hermano in the village.”

Amelia flushes.  “Does Bruno know, as well?”

Julieta shakes her head.  “I don’t believe so.  Pepa and I decided you could tell him if you wanted to.  We didn’t want to give him one more reason to feel anxious about going into the village.”

“It’s not right,” Amelia tells her softly.  “He tries so hard to do right by the community, using his gift even when it hurts him to do so.”

”Sí, unfortunately it’s been that way for a long time,” Julieta sighs.  “It’s been better, in many ways, since he came back.  But opinions don’t change easily.”  She smiles slightly.  “And Bruno has always been…unique.  That isn’t easy for some to accept in a small town.”

“I understand how hard that can be,” Amelia admits.  “I wish I knew how to help him.”

“I think that you already are,” Julieta tells her.  “This is the most I think that I’ve ever seen my brother smile.”  Amelia’s heart warms, and her face brightens, thinking of Bruno’s smile.  “And for the record, I think we would all be honored to have you as a member of this family, as well.  Whenever that day might come.”

After she finishes helping Julieta, she finds Bruno in the hallway.  He shifts nervously.  She walks over to him and kisses him on the cheek.  He flushes, but starts to grin.  He leans over and whispers to her.  “Would you like to go out into the garden for a bit, cariña?”

She nods, and he takes her hand, leading the way.

“I’m so sorry about my mamá,” he tells her apologetically.

“You don’t need to be.  It seems like you have a wonderful family.”

They are quiet for a few moments.  “Did you mean it?” he asks quietly.

“Did I mean what?”

“It wasn’t embarrassing to you?  That she was suggesting we might…well…” Bruno trails off, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck as it turns pink.

“Of course it wasn’t,” she answers.  “I’m not ready to get married, but I wouldn’t agree to be your novia if it weren’t a possibility en el futuro.”

She can feel his happiness, but he also looks adorably anxious.

“I didn’t know about your family. I’m sorry,” he blurts out, looking down.

“When I was very young, I didn’t understand my gift.  I also didn’t really know that it wasn’t…normal.”  She exhales slowly.  “I don’t blame them, really.”

“It’s not right,” he says emphatically.

“No, it’s not,” she agrees quietly. “But I couldn’t control my gift, and they were afraid.”

“You were just a child.  How could they…” he shakes his head, and she knows that they aren’t only talking about her anymore.

“People fear what they don’t understand,” she tells him gently.  “You, of all people, know that.”

“Sometimes it makes me so angry,” he confesses.  “After giving visions, when I was young, sometimes I would walk as far away as I could and just scream.”

“Of course it makes you angry.  It hurts.  I’ve come to terms with it a long time ago, but I still feel sad, and angry, sometimes.”  She thinks back to that day in the village, about how angry she felt.

“No one else has ever really understood,” he tells her quietly. “What it’s like, to be feared or hated for something that you can’t control.  And how lonely that is.”

“How you start to question if everyone is right about you?  If you’re the one whose view of reality is skewed?”  He looks at her in shock, and she laughs humorlessly.  “We should start a club.”

“I don’t understand how anyone could be scared of you, mi vida.” Bruno freezes, and Amelia looks at him.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”  Her face falls a little, and Bruno rushes to correct himself.  “No, not like that.  I meant it.”  He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, avoiding her eyes.  “I meant it, I just didn’t mean to say it.”  He shuffles awkwardly. “I shouldn’t have…I mean, it’s too soon, and I probably just totally creeped you out, and-”

She cuts him off when his voice starts to take on a desperate edge, words picking up speed.  “It’s okay,” she tells him softly, then kisses him.  He looks at her, surprised.  “I feel the same way for you.”

He kisses her suddenly, tangling his fingers in her hair.

“Get a room, Tío!” she hears Camilo yell out an upstairs window.  They pull apart, and she starts to giggle.  Bruno’s face is so red, and she can hear one of the girls (Mirabel, she thinks) telling Camilo off.

“Everything nice I’ve told you about my family?  I take it all back,” Bruno mutters, then lets out a nervous laugh.

“Walk me home?” she asks him.

”Of course…mi vida.”

 

 

Notes:

Estás avergonzándola-you’re embarrassing her
cuñado-brother in law

Chapter 17: Amelia Helps With a Vision

Bruno feels lighter than he has in years.  He’s been seeing Amelia every day, and sure, he questions and gets insecure sometimes.  But she let him call her “mi vida”; she said that she might actually be willing to marry him someday.  Bruno didn’t think he would ever find that with anyone, much less with someone that he actually misses whenever they’re apart.  Not only that, but she understands him.  She accepts him.

She hasn’t really seen your gift yet, a nagging little voice interrupts.

He knocks on wood, and tells that little voice to shove off.

His mamá keeps dropping hints, and he can’t even find it in him to be annoyed.  He does, however, wish Félix would stop trying to give him “advice.”  There are some things that he really doesn’t need to know about his sister.

But, he knows Félix is trying to help, in his own way.  They haven’t talked about it, but Bruno thinks most of the family know that he’s not exactly experienced in dating.  He spent a decade in total isolation, and even when he wasn’t in the walls most of the women in town saw him as a curse.  The only experiences he’s had have been few and far between, typically with young women who were with him to rebel against their families’ wishes. There was never  any potential for it to get serious.  Bruno barely knows how to go on dates, much less how to be in a relationship.

He’s happy, but he can’t stop wondering when the other shoe is going to drop.  He goes back and forth, sometimes from moment to moment, between wanting to marry her tomorrow and wanting to push her away before she hurts him.  And he can’t actually bring himself to do either, because he’s terrified of rejection but he can’t bear the thought of hurting her.

He may not know relationships, but unfortunately self-sacrifice is something Bruno knows all too well.

Which is why he’s having a very hard time deciding about whether or not to stop at Amelia’s home and ask her to accompany him into town.  He knows that it’s selfish; the less that she is seen in town with him, the better.  But she also makes his trips into the village bearable.  He feels sick thinking about having to go alone.

Of course, maybe he shouldn’t hide this from her.  He reasons with himself that people will eventually start to treat her differently because of their relationship anyway; it’s probably better for her to know what she is getting into so she can decide now if she wants to walk away.  He’s terrified of when she finally decides to reject him, but maybe sooner is better than later.  At least then he won’t get too used to happiness before it’s ripped away.

When he finds himself in front of her house, he hasn’t yet made up his mind about what to do.

When Amelia opens the door, he still isn’t sure.

“Hola, Bruno,” she greets him.  He waves at her awkwardly.  “¿Qué pasa?”

“I was just heading into town.  I thought I’d stop by and see you. I hope that’s okay,” he trails off, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

“Of course,” she smiles warmly. “Would you like to come in?”

“I would, but I can’t really stay long,” he tells her, shuffling his feet.

“Okay.”  Amelia hesitates for a moment, and Bruno feels silly for just coming over.  “Would you like company?”

“I mean, you don’t have to,” he says quickly.  “I know you probably have stuff to do, I shouldn’t have interrupted-”

“It’s a very good interruption, and I don’t have anything I’d rather be doing,” she tells him softly.  “Just give me a second, okay?”  He nods.

When she reappears a few minutes later, he asks her “Okay, are you ready, mi vida?”  He can feel himself blushing, and he wonders if she still feels the same as she did last night…if it’s still okay for him to use that term of affection with her.  If she’s changed her mind, she gives him no indication; she just nods and slips her hand into his.

“What do you need to do in town?” she asks him.

He cringes inwardly.  “I had a vision.  The roof is going to fall in on Señor Rodriguez’s home.  I need to warn him.”  He really doesn’t want to; he tries to prepare himself mentally for the reaction he’s sure to receive.

Amelia looks at him sympathetically.  “Do you want company when you tell him?”

“I don’t think you want to be there,” he warns her.

“Do you want to be there?”

“Absolutely not,” he answers quickly.  More quietly, he adds, “But how am I supposed to live with myself if I don’t tell him?  He could be killed.  So could his wife and children.”

“Okay, so let me go with you,” she tells him quietly.

“Why would you want to do that?” he asks her.

“Why should you have to go through that alone?” she counters.  “It’s your decision, mi vida.”  His heart feels like it’s in his throat.  “If you don’t want me to go with you, then I won’t.  But I’d like to help, if you’ll let me.”

“Okay,” he whispers.

He is silent the rest of the way through town, trying to figure out how to tell Señor Rodriguez.  He’s not sure if it is the right decision to let Amelia join him, but he’s so anxious that he feels lightheaded.  If she wants to go with him, he doesn’t think he has the strength right now to say no.

When they arrive at his door, Señor Rodriguez opens it with a smile.  His smile immediately drops when he sees Bruno.  Bruno looks down at his feet.  “Señor Madrigal, Señorita,” he nods at Amelia.  “How can I help you?”  His voice is tense, and Bruno keeps his eyes glued to his feet.

Bruno takes a deep breath, but the words stick in his throat.  He clears his throat and tries again. “I need to tell you about a vision,” he says quickly.  “May we come in?”  He hesitates, but he’s fairly sure that he saw the roof collapsing in the winter, not in autumn.

Señor Rodriquez reluctantly ushers them inside.

“I saw your roof collapse,” he blurts out.  “I mean, I had a vision of your roof collapsing.”  He rubs his hand on the back of his neck.  He’s still looking down, but he can feel the other man glaring at him.  “I think it’ll be in the winter, but I couldn’t tell exactly when.  I’m sorry, I don’t know any more.”  Bruno feels sick as he prepares himself mentally for what’s coming.

“Señor, there’s a young man just outside town, Julio Garcia?”  Bruno looks at Amelia in surprise.  “When I first moved to Encanto, my roof had a leak.  He did an excellent job of patching it, for a fair price.  He even did an inspection, and told me how long he thought I’d have before I needed to have my roof replaced.”  She squeezes Bruno’s hand.  “I don’t want to speak for Bruno, but I think we were hoping that by telling you now, you might have time to see if there’s a problem.  To make sure that you and your family stay safe once winter comes.”  Bruno nods mutely.

The other man is quiet for a moment.  “I was hoping that I could wait to fix the roof a little bit longer.”  He sighs.  “It’s been a difficult year, you know?  With the new little one.  We’ve been so busy, and it’s been hard to work as much in the shop.”

“I understand,” Amelia says softly.  She hesitates.  “I’d understand if you don’t want to trust someone you don’t know very well, but if you ever need someone to watch your little one for a few hours I’d be happy to help.”

“I appreciate that very much, Señorita.  I will talk with my wife about that as well.  We don’t want to take advantage of our neighbors, but we don’t really have family nearby.”

“It’s hard, raising a family on your own,” Amelia says gently.

“Sí, I love them very much.  But it is very stressful at times.”  Señor Rodriguez clears his throat.  “Thank you, Señor.  I would have tried to wait until next year to fix the roof, and I’d never have forgiven myself if something happened to my wife or my children.”  He holds his hand out to Bruno, who takes it hesitantly.  He shakes his hand firmly.  “I appreciate you letting me know so I can prepare.”  He turns to Amelia.  “And thank you very much for the advice.”

Bruno is aware that his mouth has dropped open. He nods.

“De nada, Señor,” Amelia tells him.

“Please, you may call me Berto from now on.”  Señor Rodriguez looks at Bruno, who is still in shock.  “Both of you.”

Amelia smiles at him.  “Mucho gusto, Berto.  Me llamo Amelia.  Y él se llama Bruno, but you may know that already.”

“Thank you again.”  Berto opens the door for them, and Bruno follows Amelia out, shocked.

When they are a little ways away from the man’s home, he finds his voice.  “How did you…”  He stops, and shakes his head.  “I…have no words.”

Amelia chuckles a little, and squeezes his hand.  “When you told him, I could feel the anger.  But when I looked beyond that, I could feel fear, and shame.  I took a guess that giving him a good suggestion might help.”

“He thanked me.  That never happens,” he says, dumbfounded.

“It may have taken a moment for him to see it, but you did him a kindness,” Amelia tells him gently.  “You can’t change whether or not his roof is bad.  But now he knows, and he can protect his family.  He just needed a little help to see what you were trying to do for him.”

Bruno stops suddenly, tugging Amelia gently into an embrace.  “Thank you so much,” he murmurs.

“Anytime,” she tells him.

“Really?  Because I kind of want you to come with me every time now,” he says half-jokingly.  “That was amazing.”

“I’m not sure if you’re being serious or not, but I’d be glad to go with you anytime.”

He impulsively kisses her, reluctantly pulling away when he remembers that they’re in public.  “I’m sorry,” he tells her, embarrassed.  He criticizes himself internally.  What if she didn’t want anyone to know?  What if he embarrassed her?  What if-?  

“I’m not,” she tells him, cutting off his barrage of negative thoughts.  She kisses him again briefly.

“Now, anywhere else that we need to go?”

He shakes his head.

“Would you like to stop and have lunch somewhere?”

“Are you sure?”  Bruno feels anxious.  Does she really want to be seen with Bad News Bruno?  The longer they are out, the more likely that they will experience some kind of uncomfortable or traumatic interaction.

“I’m a bit hungry.  Are you?”  He nods.  “Okay, then.”  She takes his hand again.  “Let’s go.”

 

Chapter 18: Another Madrigal Dinner

Amelia does, in fact, start to go with Bruno on his trips to the village to deliver visions.  She would never put it this way to Bruno, but now she can kind of understand how he got the reputation he has around town.  She realizes the visions aren’t his fault…but he is terrible at delivering bad news.  Despite her isolation, Amelia’s gift has made her very good at picking up on, and responding to, social cues.  Bruno is a sweet, sweet man, but his social awareness is somewhat lacking.  She’s happy that she has been able to help him, and he’s seemed calmer on days he has to go into town.  Being able to use her gift in this way has actually been good for her, too.  It's nice to feel like her gift is helpful for once.  Plus, there's the added bonus that it gives her an excuse to spend more time with Bruno.

She knows it may sound silly or be too soon…but it kind of feels like she and Bruno are two halves of a whole.  They are alike in many ways, but in the ways that they’re different they complement each other perfectly.  

She also appreciates that he has kept her secret, even from his family.  She’s starting to feel a little bit of guilt hiding it from the Madrigals; they've been so welcoming and kind to her.  She’s been spending a lot more time with them recently, as she and Bruno have grown closer.  It’s starting to feel more like a lie than an omission; however, for now her fear is stronger than her guilt.

The more time she’s spent with the Madrigals, the more aware she has become of other things, as well.  Like how often someone makes a casual reference to Bruno living in the walls.  He hasn't spoken about that time in his life with her again, but she knows that it's still hard for him.  He seems to take the comments in stride, but she can feel how it hurts him every single time.  So when they're sitting together at dinner, and it happens again, Amelia does something she's not proud of.

"It's not funny," Pepa grumbles.  They've been discussing some of the difficulties that go along with their respective gifts.  "You have no idea.  The constant humidity changes wreak havoc on my hair."  She tries smoothing down her curls, which admittedly are a bit unruly today.  "Sometimes I wish I could just feel nothing."  

"That seems like a bit of an overreaction, don't you think?" Bruno asks Pepa, chuckling.  

Camilo laughs as well, adding "Says the guy who hid in the walls for 10 years."  Everyone laughs.  Bruno laughs, too, but Amelia's gift lets her know that he felt that comment like a knife through the heart.  Before she can stop herself, she probes at everyone’s emotions just a little bit. 

Almost immediately afterwards, Amelia feels horrible.  She felt something that she wasn't meant to feel, but she also doesn't think she can just ignore what she felt.  She debates about whether or not to say anything to Bruno.  Once dinner is over, she asks him to take a walk with her outside.  Her heart pounds, and it feels like it's pounding from inside her throat.

Rip off the bandaid, she tells herself. She prays that this won't push him away from her.

"I have a confession."  She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes.  Bruno is silent, but she can feel him looking at her.  "I feel how much it hurts you when they bring up your time in the walls, cariño.  And I scanned through everyone's emotions," she admits quietly.  She opens her eyes and looks at him pleadingly.   "I’m so sorry.  I wanted to know if they were trying to hurt you, or if they just didn't realize."  Bruno closes his eyes, exhaling slowly.  She waits, and eventually he looks at her again, still silent.  "I don't think they know how it hurts you, by the way.  Which we should maybe talk about.  But...I think you might want to go check on Luisa."  

Bruno looks at her, surprised.  "Why?"

"I don't want to alienate your family, and I didn't even know if I should say anything to you.  Please don't ask me to tell you exactly what I felt.  But, can you maybe check with her?  See if she wants to talk?"

"Do you really think I'm the right person?" he stammers.  "I mean, let's be honest.  I always say the wrong thing.  Maybe Julieta, or Mirabel...?"  

"Honestly, I do think you're the right person," she tells him.  Given what she felt, she thinks Bruno is exactly the right person to talk to Luisa. "But even if I didn't, you're the only one I can really tell.  And Luisa barely knows me." 

"She barely knows me.  I was in the wall since she was nine years old.  I've missed half her life," Bruno sighs.

"But she's your niece.  And she knows that you love her." Bruno looks doubtful, and for a moment the sadness and regret she feels from him is intense.  She squeezes his arm.  "I'll wait for you down here, okay?"  He nods, and they walk back inside.  Amelia goes to the kitchen to see if Julieta and Pepa need any help, while Bruno walks slowly up the stairs to Luisa's room.

***

Bruno really doesn't know what he's doing.  He has to keep talking himself out of bolting back down the stairs.  He doesn't know how to help Luisa, even if he does find out what's wrong.  He feels like just about anybody else would be a better choice to talk with her; he barely knows how to handle or talk about his own emotions, let alone someone else's.  He's not sure if he's hoping for her to tell him to go away, or fearing that she will.  He knocks on her door quickly, before he can change his mind.  She opens the door right away.

"Tío, what's up?" Luisa asks him, surprised.

"I, well..." Luisa looks at him expectantly.  "Um...can I come in?"  She gestures for him to come inside, and he closes the door again behind him.  "I don't know how...I'm not..." He lets out a frustrated sigh and starts over.  "I just wanted to check and see if you're okay?"

Luisa laughs nervously.  "I'm fine, Tío.  Why wouldn't I be?"  

Bruno hesitates.  "Your eye just twitched."  He holds up his hands.  "But I'll pretend it didn't...if you want me to." 

Luisa sighs, and sits down on the edge of her bed.  Bruno stands awkwardly until she gestures for him to sit next to her.  She's silent at first, and Bruno has to fight the urge to run.  "Do you ever wonder who you are without your gift?" she asks him quietly.  

Oh, if she only knew.  "All the time," he answers solemnly.

"I know Isa, Camilo, mom...it seems like everyone is glad to have their gifts back.  And I'm grateful for it, really.  But...it was nice for a little while, you know?  Not to have to be the one to carry everything?" She trails off at the end, looking down.  "Like, if I didn't have my gift, would I matter to anyone?  To Abuela?"

"Of course you would," Bruno tells her quietly, and when he looks at Luisa her eyes shine with unshed tears.  

"Sometimes I don't know," she confides.  "We got our gifts when we were five years old.  Who would I even be without it?  I'm glad that we got our gifts, the miracle, back.  I'm glad Casita is back.  But sometimes I wish I could have the chance to find out who I am without it.  If I'm just Luisa."

Bruno doesn't know what to say.  "You know, you're not just your gift."  Luisa wipes her cheek.  "It's a part of you, but it's not who you are.  You are strong in so many ways that have nothing to do with your gift, cariña."  

Suddenly, Luisa pulls him into a hug.  It takes him a moment to catch his breath, and he loses his breath again when she whispers "I really missed you when you were gone, Tío." 

He's glad at that moment that she's hugging him, because he has to bite his lip hard to keep from crying.  "I missed you too."  His voice wobbles a little when he adds "every day."  He hears Luisa sniffle, and it makes it even harder for him to keep it together.  He takes a deep breath, and when they pull apart he stands up.  He puts his hand on Luisa's shoulder awkwardly.  "I love you, kid."  

"Te amo, Tío."

Bruno makes his escape, and he barely makes it inside his room before he loses his composure.  He covers his eyes with his hand, and finds his way into his small hidden bedroom before he starts to sob.

Chapter 19: Bruno Grieves the Walls

Summary:

Bruno's having a little bit of a grief moment about his time in the wall, because I enjoy writing the hurt/comfort scenes. Trigger warning: panic attack

Amelia tries, and fails, to talk herself out of going to Bruno's room.  

More accurately, she almost manages to talk herself out of going to Bruno's room, then Casita uses the tiles to push her toward it.

She's gotten close enough with him that she's somewhat attuned to his emotions.  (She can feel him a lot easier, and more strongly, than she can anyone else.)  She's so afraid that he'll be freaked out if he knows that, especially after having to tell him that she used her gift at dinner.  At the same time, she can feel him... and it hurts.

Which is why, when Casita pushes her and opens his door, she actually goes in.  Casita shuts the door behind her, and she tries to calm her breathing as she approaches the door to his bedroom.  She can actually hear her own heartbeat when she knocks on his door.

He opens the door, and even without her gift it's obvious that he's not okay.  His eyes are a little red and puffy, and he's flushed.  She steps up to hug him, and he's crying again before she gets her arms around him.  She panics a little.  "Bruno, qué pasó? I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to-" She stops suddenly when he shakes his head.  It just seems to agitate him when she tries to speak again, so she holds him and waits.  He clings to her tightly; his shoulders are trembling, his entire body wracked with sobs. She alternates between patting his back gently and rubbing slow circles.  

"Ten years," he gasps out.  "I missed..." And suddenly, she thinks she understands.  "I-" he gasps again, and starts untangling himself from her arms.  “I can't...breathe."  He's gasping in between sobs, and she can feel him start to panic as he pulls away.  He crouches down, pulling tightly at his hair with both hands.  "Ca-" he gasps again. 

Amelia crouches next to him.  "Try to slow down your breathing, mi vida," she tells him in as soothing a voice as possible.  She tries to calm herself as well; this is so much harder than it was when they first met.  "Deep breath in..." he tries, but he's sobbing before she can tell him to breathe out.  "Deep breath again, cariño."  He manages to take in a (very loud) breath.  "Good job.  Let it out, slowly."  He manages that time to control his exhalation, though it's still a little fast and punctuated by sobs.  "Breathe in again."  She pauses.  "And out, slowly."  She waits.  "Again."  Tears continue to stream down his face, but he eventually manages to start breathing more normally.  He sits down cross-legged and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes tightly.

He’s no longer hyperventilating, but the tears don't stop.  She sits beside him, not touching.  "I'm still here with you, corazón," she tells him quietly.  The pain feels less intense than it did, but it's still there, and she wonders how much of it he carries without anyone (even her) being aware.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?" she asks him after he calms down.

"I..." he sighs shakily.  "I don't know if I can."  His voice breaks at the end, and his breathing is harsh for a moment.  "I was gone," he continues.  "I missed everything."  He pauses, hands still pressed to his eyes, and he's weeping.  But he's breathing, and his crying is less forceful than it was a moment ago.  She hesitantly reaches a hand over to rub his back, and keeps it there when he doesn't react.  He wipes his face with both hands.  "This is ridiculous.  I'm being ridiculous.  Nothing even really happened."  He breathes out slowly.  "I talked to Luisa.  And you were right.  But she just told me-" He cuts off abruptly, and she can see him trying to collect himself.  "She just told me that she missed me," he tells her, voice thick with tears.  "When I was..." He breaks off, pressing his face into his hands and trying to suppress his sobs.

"When you were in the walls?" she asks.  He nods. 

"I don't know what's wrong with me," he gets out.  "I don't know why I'm so upset right now."   He scrubs at his face, sniffling.  He looks at her, eyes still teary and face flushed.

“Bruno, you lost so much time with the people you love,” she tells him gently.  His face twists painfully, and he covers it again with his hands as his breath hitches.  “It’s sad that you missed out on so much, and that you were so alone for so long.”  Bruno puts his head down and rocks slightly, then he gasps in a shuddering breath.  “It’s normal to grieve.” She rubs his back, and feels his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

When he eventually calms again, she hesitates before asking him a question.  “Do you need to ask your family to stop bringing up your time in the walls?”  He groans.  “I can feel how it hurts you, mi vida.”  

He shakes his head.  “I can’t-I mean…I…” He stops, and just shakes his head again.

“Okay,” she tells him softly. “I think that you should talk to them, but it’s not my decision to make.”  She squeezes his shoulder gently before resting her hands in her lap.

Bruno groans after a moment, wiping his face again.  “I feel like I was just hit by a truck.”

“I should go,” Amelia tells him.  He flushes, and she feels him cycling though hurt, shame, and dejection.  “Hey,” she reaches over and squeezes his hand.  “I just meant because you’re tired and it’s getting late, corazón.  That’s all.”  He avoids eye contact with her.  She waits as he takes a long breath in and lets it out, and his emotions start to stabilize.

“Okay,” he agrees quietly.  He stands up.  “I’ll walk you home.”

Amelia stands up as well.  “You don’t have to.  It’s okay.”

Bruno swallows hard, looking down.  “I mean, I’d like to.  I’ll worry about you getting home safely.  But I’d understand if you didn’t want me to.”

“Bruno.”  She can tell he’s listening, though he won’t meet her eyes.  “Why do you say that?”

It’s a long moment before he answers.  “I mean, I’d understand if you didn’t want to be my novia anymore.”  Amelia immediately starts to feel panicked.  I knew better, she chastises herself.  She can feel her emotional walls snap up.  I knew he’d leave eventually, just like everyone else.  I freaked him out with my gift, just like everyone else.  No one wants someone to know their every feeling.  Of course he doesn’t want to be my novio.  She’s silent at first, mind racing, before she realizes that not all of the panic she feels is her own.

She pauses, and she thinks about what she knows about Bruno.  She thinks about how much he’s sacrificed for the sake of others.  She thinks about the emotions she felt from him, and how hard it must be for him to let her see vulnerability.  He’s been hurt, and judged, and rejected so many times, just as she has been.  She remembers that all he has known is isolation, pretending to be okay, protecting others at the expense of himself.  And she puts that together with the fact that he’s let her see him when he can’t keep up the façade.  He’s let her see his insecurities and wounds.  He’s let her hold him while he cried.

And then she realizes that they are both being idiotas.

She looks at Bruno, who’s shifting awkwardly and looking like he just wants to run and hide.  “Bruno,” she sighs, and she sees him tense.  “Do you really think I don’t want to be with you anymore?  Because why?  You have emotions?”  He bites his lip, shrugging his shoulders.  “I always knew you were a human being, cariño,” she tells him gently.  “And a pretty great one.”  She sees him smile, just a little.  “I don’t feel any differently about you, or us, than I did an hour ago.”

Bruno hesitates.  “Um… can I kiss you?”

“Of course you can, mi vida.”

When he does kiss her, she feels like her chest could burst with the affection she feels.  She’s never felt it as strongly as she does right at this moment, and she thinks she’s probably feeling his affection as well as her own.

And a nagging little voice in the back of her head starts questioning.  They’ve called each other “mi vida,” and they’ve spent so much time together.  Does he really not know how she feels about him?

As he escorts her home, they hold hands but mostly walk in companionable silence.  She knows that “mi vida” doesn’t mean the exact same thing, or carry the same weight, everywhere in the world.  Does he know what she means?  Does she know what she means?

She sighs, thinking she is going to drive herself crazy.

She cares for him, very deeply.  He is, without a doubt, the most important person in her life.  She also finds him very attractive.  Her heart still races a little each time he kisses her.  But more than that, she thinks that he is an amazing person.  He is selfless, and kind, and funny.  He’s intelligent, and loving.

Her heart pounds as she realizes…she loves him.

She hopes he can’t feel her hand start to sweat, because she can feel herself starting to panic again.

She loves him.  In fact, she thinks that she loves him about as much as one can love another person.  And she’s suddenly terrified that he’s going to not just hurt her, but break her heart.

She feels a squeeze on her hand, which jolts her out of her thoughts.  “Are you okay, cariña?” Bruno asks her, looking at her with concern.

Amelia forces a smile.  “I’m fine,”  she says quickly.  She silently thanks the universe that they’ve just arrived at her door.  “I’m just very tired, and I know you are as well.”  She chuckles nervously, and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek.  “Good night.” She hurries inside, shutting the door behind her and trying to pretend she didn’t just leave the man she loves outside with a look of utter confusion on his face.

Notes:

Sorry for the slight cliffhanger. Spoiler alert: next chapter, Bruno is probably going to be confused and overthinking.

Chapter 20: Amor

Bruno is trying so very hard not to overthink things.

He wants to go talk to Amelia.  It’s been days.

He also wants to hide in the walls again.

She said that it was okay, that she understood why he was an emotional wreck that night.  But then she acted so strangely when he walked her home.

Maybe she’d just been trying to calm him down.  She’s a nice person; she probably didn’t want to hurt him.  Of course she couldn’t just end things when he was a sobbing mess on the floor.

Maybe he did something to upset her, or make her angry.  He can’t figure out what that would be, but he’s Bruno…so anything is possible.

Maybe she’s been spending time with him because she feels sorry for him.  She might not care for him at all.

Maybe…he needs to leave his room, and talk to someone other than his rats before he drives himself even crazier.  He drags himself out of bed, and heads downstairs.

On the bright side, since he talked to Luisa, she’s been talking to him more and more.  He likes it; there was nothing he missed more in the past ten years than being a tío.

“Hey, long time no see, cuñado!” Félix greets him when he enters the kitchen. Pepa hands him a cup of coffee, and he sits across from her and Félix.

Pepa, never one to beat around any bushes, looks him in the eye as soon as she sits down, asking “What’s going on, hermano?  Why so gloomy?”

When he doesn’t answer, Félix jumps in.  “I know that look.  ¿Qué pasó con tu novia?”

Bruno stares down at his cup.  He wants to ask for advice, but he also doesn’t want to talk about this.

“Bruno, you seemed so happy the other day.  What’s wrong?” Pepa asks him.

“I…think I scared her off,” Bruno answers quietly. Pepa looks at him expectantly.  Bruno doesn’t know how to explain, and he’s so embarrassed.  “Something came up.” He swallows hard, throat suddenly dry.  “About my time in the walls.  I…didn’t react well.”

Pepa looks at him sternly.  “What do you mean, you didn’t react well?”

“I was a little…agitated,” he says cautiously.

“Bruno, what exactly did you say or do to her?” Pepa asks him pointedly.

Bruno looks at his sister, shocked.  “No, not like that.  I didn’t do anything to her,” he protests emphatically.  He’s not just shocked; he’s hurt.  “You really think I would do something like that?”  He asks her, then sighs.  He stares at the table, wishing he were only having this conversation with Pepa.  Or really, wishing he wasn’t having this conversation at all.  “I…”. He feels a blush creep up his neck.  “I cried, okay?”

“Is that all?” Pepa lets out a breath.  Bruno’s face burns, and he fiddles with his coffee cup.

“That’s not so bad, bro,” Félix tells him.  “Some women really like it when a man can show he has a sensitive side.  Right, mi vida?”  He kisses Pepa on the cheek.  He stands up. “I promised Agustín I’d help him with the bees.” He rolls his eyes with a grin, grabbing some of Julieta’s food off the counter to take with him.  “Hasta luego.” He kisses Pepa again before he makes his escape.

After a few moments, Pepa speaks.  “Bruno, he’s right, you know.  It’s not the worst thing.”

Bruno shakes his head.  “You don’t understand.  It was…bad, Pep.  She must think I’m completely unstable.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“You weren’t there.”  He sighs.  “I couldn’t stop crying.  At one point she had to help me remember how to breathe.”

“What were you so upset about, hermano?” she asks him, concerned.

He groans, putting his head on the table.  “I don’t even know.”  He is silent for a moment before he sits back up.  “It just hit me, you know?” He stares down at his hands on the table.  “I lost ten years.  My sobrinos barely know me.”  He clears his throat.  “It was really hard,” he admits quietly.  He keeps his head down, not wanting to see Pepa’s reaction to what he just said.

“I’m so sorry,” Pepa tells him.  He looks up, surprised.  “We make light of that time. Because it’s easier than dealing with what it was really like, not knowing what happened to you or if you were even alive.”  Bruno bites his lower lip.  “But that’s no excuse.”

“I can’t talk about this,” he tells her, his voice shaky.  “I’m sorry, Pepa, I just…can’t.”

He’s surprised when his sister just says “okay,” and lets it go.  She reaches over and squeezes his hand gently.  “But I doubt it’s as bad as you think.  Do you think that I never saw Félix get emotional?  Or Agustín with Julieta?”  When he doesn’t answer, she continues.  “She cares for you a great deal.  I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.” She lets go of his hand, taking a drink of her coffee.  “Just talk to her.”

Bruno bites his lip and starts to shake his head.  

He loves and appreciates Pepa, but her patience definitely has a limit.  It isn’t long before she huffs off, grumbling about men being the most stubborn creatures on the planet and leaving Bruno alone with his thoughts.

Bruno understands Amelia wanting to keep her gift a secret.  Really, he does.  But he wishes he could tell Pepa the thought that’s really keeping him awake at night: how much did his breakdown hurt her?  He feels more shame about his carelessness than he does about getting emotional in the first place.  And really, he feels a pretty overwhelming amount of shame about that, too.  He should’ve been stronger.  Should’ve been able to handle his emotions.  He couldn’t control himself, and he hurt her.  Even if she can forgive him, he doesn’t know how he’s going to forgive himself.

And now he doesn’t know what to do.  He feels stuck.  He wants to see her, but he’s afraid.  He feels guilt, and longing, and embarrassment, and affection…and he doesn’t know what to do with all of those feelings.  He wants to hold her close and never let go, and he wants to push her away and hide.  What is he supposed to do with that?

He decides to go for a walk, to try to clear his head.  He really doesn’t know how to feel when he runs into Amelia.  Out in the middle of the woods, no less.

”Buenos días,” she says quietly.  He nods at her, digging the toe of his sandal into the dirt.  Why is this so hard?  “It’s a nice day for a walk.”

Bruno’s heart races.  Why is this so awkward?  All of his questions, his negative thoughts, swirl around in his mind.  He feels sick to his stomach.  He fidgets nervously.  He opens his mouth to try to say something, and his mind goes blank. “Bye,” he finally forces out, then starts to hurry away.  When he realizes she’s just going to let him go, he feels a pain in his chest.  He screwed it up, just like he knew he would.  His eyes sting, and he blinks rapidly.  She probably thinks I’m pathetic.  Sobbing like a child.  Or she hates me, because she had a front row  seat on my little emotional rollercoaster.  When he gets out of her sight, he sits and buries his face in his hands.  I knew it couldn’t last, he thinks miserably.  Of course she’d leave once she got to know me.  Why would she stay?  I’m a disaster.  Bad luck.  Maldito.  He blinks to clear his eyes.  He feels like crying, but he’s not going to let it happen.  His ridiculous emotions have already caused enough trouble.  She should hate me.  I hate me.

He’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t hear her approach.  She sits on the ground next to him, not speaking for several minutes.

“Are you upset with me?” she asks him quietly.  “For using my gift with your family?”  Bruno shakes his head, surprised.  “Or for something else?”

Bruno shakes his head again, staring at his hands and waiting for the worst.  His stomach is in knots.

“Whatever I did…I’m sorry,” Amelia tells him softly.

“Why are you apologizing?” Bruno asks when he feels he can trust his voice.

“I can feel that you’re upset.  Angry.”  She looks at him apologetically.  “I’m not trying to, but I can feel it.  It’s so strong.”

Bruno swallows.  “I’m not upset with you.”  He closes his eyes.  “I’m upset with me.”

“Why?”

“I know I messed things up between us.  Just like I always do,” he tells her bitterly.  “And I thought maybe it could be different.  Maybe I could be different. Stupid, right?  We can’t change who we are.”  He knows that he’s rambling, voice picking up speed.  He stares off, looking anywhere but at her.  “I’m Bruno, and I make bad things happen.  I’m bad luck.  And there’s no excuse.  I never should have lost it the way that I did. I hurt you.” His breath catches.  “I hurt you.  It hurt, and I couldn’t handle it on my own, and I dragged you into it.  It wasn’t fair.  It wasn’t right. And I know you probably never want to see me again.  You shouldn’t want to see me again.”  His eyes sting, and he blinks rapidly.  “I don’t even want to see me again, but it’s not like I have a choice.”

“Bruno,” she murmurs.  He closes his eyes, trying to hold himself together through sheer willpower.  “Sorry, I’m not sure exactly what to say.  That is…a lot.  What on Earth gave you the idea that I didn’t want to see you again?”

“You haven’t come to see me in days,” he says uncertainly.

“You haven’t come to see me either,” she points out.

“I was ashamed,” he admits.

“Why?”

“Because not only did I cry like a baby, but I managed to hurt you while doing it.”

“What do you mean?”

“It hurt me, and I know you could feel it,” he whispers.  “And I didn’t even think.  I was just so caught up that it didn’t even occur to me that it was hurting you.  And I let you, really I made you, go through that.  Because I was too weak to deal with it on my own.”

“You’re not weak,” Amelia tells him.  He scoffs.  “You sacrificed and endured so much to protect the people you love.”  She reaches over and squeezes his hand.  “And you didn’t make me do anything.  Yes, I felt it.”  Bruno feels sick to his stomach, just having her confirm that.  “But I chose to go to you, and to stay with you.  Because I didn’t want you to have to suffer alone.  I know that you can; you did it for a decade, if not longer.  But I care about you too much to let you.”

Bruno is silent, trying to process.  “So, why haven’t you come by?  If it’s not because of that?  And why have you been acting differently?”

Amelia is quiet for long enough that Bruno isn’t sure she’s going to answer him.  “I was scared,” she admits.  And that hits him like a punch in the gut.  She was scared of him, oh God, just like everyone else.  He fights hard against the urge to get up and run.  “I realized how much I’ve come to care for you,” she swallows hard.  Bruno feels his body calm, just a little.  “And you’ve given me no reason not to trust you.  But you have to understand…when I told you I’d used my gift, I thought you might never want to see me again.  I wonder that every time I bring it up.  When is the time it’s going to be too much?  That it’ll finally push you away?”  Amelia sighs shakily, and her voice sounds thick with tears.  “And I’m so scared, Bruno.  You mean everything to me, and I can’t even think about what I’ll do when you leave.  Because everyone does.” She’s full-on crying now, and Bruno has no idea what to do.  “It’s always too much.  And the closer we get, the more I can feel what you feel, and it’s awful and invasive, and I can’t turn it off.  And I know that you’re going to get tired of not having any privacy, just like everyone else.  And then what?  I’m going to be alone, again.”  She wipes at her face, sniffling.  “But it’ll be even worse this time, because now I’ve actually had someone, and I don’t know how to go back to just being alone again.”

Bruno’s heart pounds, but he puts his arm around Amelia, and he calms a little more when she rests her head on his shoulder.  “I know it’s hard to trust,” he tells her softly.  “But I’m not going anywhere.  Te amo, mi vida.”  His heartbeat roars in his ears, and a part of him screams that he should stop talking.  “I never thought I’d find anything like what we have; I didn’t even know before that it was something that I needed.  But I’m scared, too,” he admits.  “All the time.”

“I love you, too, you know,” Amelia tells him through her tears.  His heart soars.  “That’s why I was acting so strangely.  I realized that I didn’t just care for you.  That it was love.  And I was so afraid of getting hurt again.  So I pushed away.  And I’m so sorry.”  She sobs.  “The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.”

Bruno hugs her, and she clings to him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder.  “I can’t believe you love me,” he says, amazed.

Amelia giggles, sniffling and wiping her face.  “You really love me, too?”

Bruno feels overcome at that moment with emotion, but he manages to breathe through it.  “I love you very much.  I don’t think it’s possible to love someone more.”  She looks up at him, and he brushes her hair gently out of her face.  He leans in toward her, and when she kisses him Bruno feels more happiness than he knows what to do with. 

Chapter 21: Amelia Comes Clean

Amelia feels giddy.  He loves her.

He loves her.

When she decided to come to Encanto and try again, she’d hoped to be tolerated, to find acceptance, maybe to make a friend.  She never in her wildest dreams thought that she’d find love.

The only thing bringing her down?  Now she really feels like she has to tell his family about her gift. What if they’re angry at her for keeping it a secret?  What if they actually turn against her?

She thinks it’ll probably be okay. After all, they have gifts.

But what if it’s not?  What if they make Bruno choose?  She doesn’t even want to think about that.

Bruno has been so supportive with her gift, but she’s afraid that his family won’t understand.  He told her that he thought it would be okay.  He even told her that he’d be with her when she tells them, if she wants.  But the fear is still there.

She’s been trying for a week now to figure out how to tell them.  Especially because Julieta and Pepa keep inviting her to do things.  She’s not sure what Bruno has told them about their relationship, but his sisters seem determined to get to know her. In fact, they are currently sitting in Amelia’s kitchen.

“But seriously, Julieta.  I don’t think Agustín could survive without you.  How many times has he been stung by a bee in the last month?” Pepa asks dramatically. 

“Pepa, that’s…unkind,” Julieta scolds her. Amelia looks between the two sisters, amused.  Julieta continues, “Agustín and I take care of each other.  Just like you and Félix.”  She takes a sip of her coffee.  “And Amelia and Bruno.”

Amelia flushes as Julieta grins at her.

“Amelia, what have you done with our brother?  He’s coming out of his room, going outside, talking to people…” Pepa leans in and fake-whispers.  “Yesterday I caught him singing in the hallway.”

Amelia feels herself turning more red.  “What do you mean?”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, querida,” Julieta tells her, patting her hand.  “It’s just nice to finally see our hermano happy, that’s all.”

“Speaking of, it seems like even his visions are better.  The townspeople have seemed much friendlier toward him.”  Pepa looks at Amelia.  “You wouldn’t have anything to do with that, verdad?” she teases.  Suddenly Pepa looks at her with wide eyes.  She points at her dramatically.  “I was joking, but you do!  I saw that look.  How?”

Tell them, Amelia.  “Well, are you sure his visions are actually different?” Amelia stalls nervously.  Just TELL them.  “Or maybe he has gotten better at delivering his visions?”  Smooth.

“Maybe,” Julieta says doubtfully.

“No, Amelia knows something!” Pepa hits her hand on the table excitedly.  “Come on, you can tell us.”

TELL THEM.  Amelia takes a deep breath.  “I’m sorry,” she starts.  Pepa starts to speak, but a Julieta puts a hand on her arm.  “I haven’t been completely honest with you,” Amelia tells them quietly.  She takes a sip of her café, trying to calm herself.  She stares down at her cup.  “I knew about your family before I came to Encanto,” she starts.  “I came here because of your family.”  She peeks at the sisters; both are still, silent and listening.  “I…I have a gift.  I came here because I thought maybe this place would be safe for me, just like it seemed to have been for your family.”

“That’s amazing!  What is your gift?” Pepa asks.

“Pepa, give her time,” Julieta murmurs.

Amelia closes her eyes.  She isn’t feeling any overwhelming anger coming her way, at least.  “I can feel emotions.”

“Do you know where your gift comes from?” Pepa asks excitedly.

Amelia shakes her head.  “I don’t remember a time when it wasn’t there.”  She opens her eyes, and she feels them fill with tears.  “I’m so sorry.  I should’ve been honest.  But I was afraid.  The last time I told someone, I was practically run out of town for being a bruja.”

“That’s terrible,” Julieta says gently.  “And what about your family?”

Amelia wipes away a tear that escaped down her cheek.  “They were afraid of me.  That’s why I had to leave so young.  They sent me out as soon as I was old enough to survive,” she whispers.  “Please understand.  Before I met Bruno, no one had ever reacted well to my gift.  I used to call it more of a curse.”

“Has Bruno known this whole time?” Pepa questions.  

“Most of it.”  Pepa starts to speak again, but Amelia continues.  “Please don’t be upset with him. I was so afraid; I begged him not to tell anyone.”

“We’re not upset,” Julieta assures her.

”You’re not?” Amelia asks tearfully.

Pepa sighs.  “No.  I wish you had told us, but after seeing the way Bruno has been treated for his visions?  I understand why you didn’t.” She pauses.  “I don’t understand what your gift has to do with Bruno’s visions, though.”

Amelia’s not sure how to explain.  She doesn’t want to offend anyone. “I went with Bruno a couple of times to deliver his visions. Just for moral support.  And then I realized, well…” She stops, shaking her head.  “I love your brother. But I noticed that his delivery wasn’t…great.”

Pepa snorts, covering her mouth with her hand.  “Yeah, Bruno can’t really read a room,” she giggles.  Julieta looks amused as well, and Amelia breathes a sigh of relief.

“Right.  So I used my gift to…well, to read the room.  And to help guide the conversation in a more helpful direction.”

“The visions haven’t changed.  The way he talks with people in town about what he saw is what’s changed,” Julieta finishes.

“Exactly.”  Amelia looks at each of the sisters.  “You’re really not upset?”

“Of course not,” Julieta tells her.  “And I don’t think it will be an issue for anyone else, either.  If you’re ready to tell them.”

“I think I need to tell your mother, at least.  Dios mío, I can’t breathe,” she laughs nervously.

“Relájate.”  Pepa reaches over and squeezes her hand.  “Come. We’ll tell her together.”  She stands up.

“Now?”

“No better time than the present.”

***

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Amelia asks for the dozenth time.  

“Amelia, it’s going to be fine,” Julieta reassures her.

“Sí, Mamá will probably be thrilled to be honest,” Pepa tells her.

When they arrive, they all greet Casita, who welcomes them in.  Amelia feels like she might pass out by the time they reach Señora Madrigal’s door, and she’s sure she would’ve bolted by now if she were alone.

“It’s going to be fine,” Julieta murmurs, squeezing her hand while Pepa knocks on the door.

“Yes?  Amelia, how nice to see you.”

“Gracias” Amelia forces out, mouth very dry all of a sudden.

“Mamá, Amelia actually needed to speak with you,” Pepa prompts.  Amelia wonders, if she passes out, if Casita will catch her.

“Of course.  Please, come.”  Señora Madrigal leads them to the table, and they all sit.  Amelia is grateful that Julieta and Pepa are still with her.

They sit, silent, while Amelia tries to gather her courage.  “I’m afraid that I haven’t been entirely honest with you, Señora,” she starts.  And then she tells Señora Madrigal everything that she told Julieta and Pepa just an hour ago.  She tells her how she was treated in villages in the past, and by her own family.  She lets her know how afraid she was even despite her hope that she could make a home in Encanto.  How, as she’s gotten closer with Bruno as well as with the other Madrigals, it has felt more and more wrong to keep this secret.

Señora Madrigal sits quietly and listens, and Amelia’s anxiety increases to the point that it feels almost unbearable.

“Mamá, you know how the townspeople have been receiving Bruno’s visions…differently lately?” Julieta asks.  “Amelia has been using her gift to help Bruno with his.”

Señora Madrigal stands, and Amelia feels faint but stands as well.  What she’s really not expecting is for the matriarch to walk over and embrace her.

She pulls back to look at Amelia. “Thank you for telling me the truth, cariña.  I’m so happy that Bruno has you in his life.”

“Gracias, Señora.”

“Enough of that.  There’s no need to be so formal.  ‘Suegra’ is fine.”

“Gracias, Suegra,” Amelia repeats.  Julieta squeezes her hand again, and Pepa offers her a smile.  

Chapter 22: Bruno Gets Triggered

Notes:

Hube pensado que sería diferente, pero nada cambia. -
I would’ve thought things would be different , but nothing changes.

Trigger warnings: trauma, depression, brief mention of thoughts of suicide. Bruno is spiraling.

These past weeks, Bruno has been happier than ever before.

She loves him.

He finds himself involuntarily smiling any time that thought pops into his head.

He didn’t really think anyone could love him.  It’s relatively recent that he’s been convinced that his family love him…and that’s still only most of the time.

She loves him.

And he can’t wait to see her this morning.

***

Amelia feels like a weight has been lifted.  If Pepa, Julieta, and the Madrigal matriarch are all okay with her gift, then the rest of the family most likely will be, too.  She’s excited to tell Bruno; she knows it’s been hard for him, having to keep a secret from his family.

She’d hoped that she would be able to tell Bruno right away, but unfortunately he was gone all day yesterday.  She did ask Julieta and Pepa to wait a day, to let her tell him, before they spoke about her gift.  They assured her that they would do so, and that they’d ask Sra. Madrigal to do the same.  Mi suegra, she thinks with a smile.

Bruno is all smiles when he arrives.  She sets down two cups of café, gesturing for him to sit.  He walks over to her and kisses her before he sits at the table.

“How was your day yesterday?” she asks him.

”Really good, actually,” he says, taking a drink.  “Camilo and Mirabel invited me on a hike.”  He smiles fondly.  “How was yours?”

“Well, actually Julieta and Pepa came over.”  She takes a deep breath as Bruno looks at her curiously. She decides to just spit it out.  “I told them about my gift.”  Bruno’s face is completely blank, and Amelia feels a small pit of anxiety in her stomach.

“How did they react?” he asks her, voice deadly calm.

“It was fine,” she tells him cautiously.  She’s not sure why he is reacting like this, but her inner voice is screaming that something is wrong.  “They actually walked me straight over to Casita after I told them, so we could tell your mother.”

Bruno sets his cup of coffee down.  He stands up, pacing and muttering to himself.  He looks upset, and it takes a minute before Amelia realizes what she’s feeling.  She’s never really felt it from him before, but he’s furious. She sits, frozen and watching him, mind racing.  Did he not want her to tell them?  Is he angry that she told them alone, without talking with him first?  Is he ashamed of her gift?  Maybe he’s started to think about it as more of a curse.  She suddenly feels stupid for how relieved she’d been earlier.

Bruno stops suddenly, and a look of concern crosses his face.  “I’m so sorry, mi vida.”

“Sorry for what?” she forces out.

“They never should have pushed you to tell Mamá,” he fumes.  “That was your decision to make, not theirs.  It’s not right, and you shouldn’t have to deal with her expectations and judgments.”  He shakes his head.  “How dare they?  Hube pensado que sería diferente, pero nada cambia.  I don’t know why I thought-”

“Wait,” she interrupts him as he gets more and more agitated.  “Are you mad at your sisters?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” He exclaims, then pauses.  “Wait-who did you think I was mad at?”  Amelia gestures toward herself, and Bruno looks ashamed.  He sits back down quietly.  “Of course I’m not mad at you,” he says softly.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten so upset.”

“It’s okay,” she tells him.  “But why did you get so upset?”  Bruno sighs, looking down at the table.  Amelia reaches over and squeezes his hand.  “If it helps, your sisters were trying to help when they took me to your mother.  I had told them that I felt dishonest, but that I was afraid to tell her.  They took me to her and helped me to have the courage to tell her the truth.”

“I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions,” Bruno mumbles.  “I just thought…I don’t know what I thought.”  He swallows.  “I don’t know how to explain.  When we got our gifts, at first it was exciting.  But Mamá was always focused just on what we could do for the community, and how we could help the family.  She never saw-” he cuts off, clearing his throat.  “She never saw how Julieta was always working too hard, and blaming herself if someone had an injury or an illness that she couldn’t heal.  How Pepa would be afraid of her emotions, and the damage they could cause.  How she had to change her mood to give the town the weather they needed.”  He takes a deep breath in, letting it out slowly.  He stares down at their hands, and Amelia gives his another gentle squeeze.  “She never thought about what that was like for us, and about how much pressure it was.  Even when we were only children.”

“What was it like for you?” she asks gently.

Bruno laughs humorlessly.  “What do you think?” He pauses, looking ashamed.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to be…”

“It’s okay,” she tells him.

He stares a hole in the table.  “I was six years old the first time I saw someone die,” he confides. Amelia can feel Bruno’s hand shaking a little, but she doesn’t feel anything else from him at the moment.  It’s like he is completely dissociated from what he is talking about.  “Even when it wasn’t about death, it was…” he shakes his head.  His voice drops.  “I was angry with the miracle for awhile.  I never told anyone that.”  He glances at her quickly, but looks back down again almost immediately.  “Who decides that a child of five should have visions of the future?  I’ve had nightmares almost every night since I was seven.  I learned what sex was because I kept seeing it in visions.  The first time was probably within the first year that I got my gift.”  He shakes his head as if to banish the memories from his mind.

“I’m sorry,” she tells him, squeezing his hand.  She can feel him getting upset.

He swallows hard.  “I was alone for a long time before I ever went into the walls,” he admits quietly.  He glances at her, and his eyes are a little too bright.  He clears his throat.  “Anyway, I might have overreacted a little.  I’m sorry.”

That’s when Amelia realizes that his entire reaction was about protecting her.  And it hits her again how much she loves him.

“It’s okay.  I think I understand.”  She smiles softly at him.  “Your sisters were actually wonderful, by the way.  And I was scared to tell your mother…but she hugged me.”

“Um…did she ask…did she ask you to do anything?” Bruno asks her.

“Only to call her suegra from now on,” Amelia tells him.  He looks at her, surprised.  She can feel his emotions swirling, and she debates with herself about whether she should try to distract him or talk to him about it.  “You do know that you’re not alone anymore, right?” she asks him quietly.

His lower lip quivers, and he bites down on it.  He nods after a moment.  She strokes her thumb over the back of his hand.  It’s a few minutes before he is able to speak again.  He clears his throat, but his voice still sounds a bit thick.  “Speaking of the worst gift ever,” he jokes.  “I was wondering if you’d go to town with me today?”

“Of course.”

***

Bruno is glad for Amelia that his family seems to have reacted well, but he wasn’t expecting how their conversation this morning has stirred things up for him.

All day, he’s been struggling.  He’s noticed himself feeling more irritable and easily frustrated.  Then the moment he calms down he feels upset with himself for overreacting. And that feeling is chased by a healthy dose of self-loathing and sadness.

He wants so much to move forward with his family, and most of the time he feels able to just enjoy the fact that he’s with them.  But he doesn’t know what to do with the way that he’s feeling now, and he’s so afraid to lose them again that he can’t even talk about it.

After he and Amelia return from town, he heads home and straight up to his room to pace.  It’s amazing how much his mood has changed since this morning.

He doesn’t want to be angry.  He doesn’t like being angry.  But he feels like he could scream, and cry, and throw things around the room.  Why?  And how could the people who were supposed to love him never see how much he hurt, all the time?  He stopped being a child before he was 8 years old.

He remembers his mamá shouting at Mirabel that ‘Bruno didn’t care about this family’.  How could they have believed that?  He thinks back to the last argument he had with his mamá before he left.  When he went into the walls, he didn’t believe he’d ever actually interact with any of his familia again.  After all, his mamá had told him that if he left then he’d be dead to her.

He’d told her that he wished he was dead, and at the time he’d meant it.  Sometimes when he was in the walls, he wondered if he had actually died.  If he was a ghost, or if he even existed anymore.  Especially when his entire family stopped even speaking his name.

He swipes his hand across his face, and realizes that he’s crying.  He has no idea when he started.  He hates crying, but of course he hates everything right now.

He hates himself.

All of his self-critical thoughts start running circles through his head.  No one cares about you, he thinks.  He shakes his head, reminding himself that his family does, now.  At least, he thinks that they do.  And Amelia does.  She won’t once she gets to know the real you, his inner critic warns.

His mind spins, and he keeps pacing.

When it’s time for dinner, he doesn’t want to face his family.  He wants to sink into the floor.  He wants to go back into the walls.  He’s so tired, and he doesn’t know if he can pretend like everything is okay. When he makes it through dinner without anyone asking, he isn’t sure if he should feel relieved or sad.  When he slips away in silence, he wonders if anyone would care if they knew how he felt.

He doesn’t pace when he gets back to his room.  He’s just so tired.  He crawls into his bed and just lays there.  If his eyes leak before he falls asleep, it’s not like it matters anyway.

Chapter 23: Insecurity

Summary:

I couldn’t leave Bruno like that for too long. But I’m not sure about this chapter, so it may go through some revisions still. If I really rewrite it I will change the “updated” date and put it in the chapter notes.

Amelia feels a bit worried about Bruno.  She tries to tell herself that she’s overreacting.  They just saw each other yesterday.  But she has a bad feeling. He wasn’t really himself when they went to town.  He was quiet, and withdrawn, and he seemed like he was just going through the motions.  An anxious part of her keeps wondering if this is about her telling his family of her gift, but she doesn’t really think that’s it. What she’s really worried about?  She wonders if their conversation yesterday might have opened up some old wounds.

She decides to go visit him.  If he’s fine, she hopes he’ll be happy to see her.  If he’s not…well, maybe she can help.

It’s not long before she realizes that he is, in fact, not fine.  And courtesy of Casita, she is standing at the door of his bedroom once again.  Casita may need to learn some boundaries, Amelia thinks as Bruno’s door pops open before she can knock.  At least he still has his inner bedroom door.

She steps through the sand, and she prepares to knock on the small hidden door.  However, just before she does she sees Bruno off in the distance, pacing in front of what she assumes is his vision cave.  She groans.  So far she hasn’t had to climb the stairs.  She can understand why Mirabel teases Bruno that his room is the worst.

She starts the climb, and her worry climbs with her.  She can feel Bruno’s emotions more the closer that she gets to him, and the majority of what she’s feeling isn’t exactly positive.

When she finally reaches the top, he looks surprised to see her.  She holds up a finger, and bends over for a moment to breathe.

“I hope it’s okay that I came,” she says, catching her breath.  “I…after yesterday I just had a feeling that you might not be okay.”  Bruno looks down at his feet, digging the toe of his sandal into the sand.  “Are you?  Okay?”

“Not really,” he answers.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He starts to shake his head, but then stops, sighing and shrugging his shoulders.  “I don’t know what to say.”

“Okay,” she says patiently.  She sits down on a large boulder, hoping it might help him relax a little.  Also, her leg muscles are on fire.  “But you feel upset?”  He hesitates, then nods.  “Do you know what kind of upset you feel?”

He opens his mouth and closes it again.  He tries again.  “I feel…angry…and sad…and lost,” he tells her very quietly.  “It hurts, and…I feel broken…and I’m not even really sure why.” He laughs uncomfortably.

“Did something happen?”

“Yes.  And no.”  He gives her a sad smile. He looks conflicted, but then goes to sit on the boulder next to her.  He taps his feet, drums his fingers…he looks like he’s forcing himself to try to stay seated. “It all happened a long time ago.  I need to get over it,” he tells her, voice trailing off to a whisper.

“Get over what?” she asks him gently.

He looks at her, inhaling sharply, and she can see how upset he is without using her gift.  “How could they not see?” he finally asks her, voice barely audible.  “It hurt, all the time.  I hurt.  All the time.  And nobody paid attention.”  He exhales heavily.  “Or maybe they did know.  Maybe they saw, and they didn’t care.”  Her heart aches for him.  “They’re all trying to be better.  And I want to just…move on.  Forgive and forget.  But…when I think about it…sometimes it still feels the same.”  He swallows hard, looking down.  He’s silent for a moment before Amelia sees tears fall near his feet.  He sniffles, and she reaches over and squeezes his arm gently.  “I can’t…I just feel…it’s…sometimes I wonder.  If I matter at all to them, you know?”  He says tearfully, wiping his face.  “And if I don’t matter then why?  What is wr-” he breaks off in a sob, then regains his composure.  “What is wrong with me, that they can’t lo-” He sobs again, and covers his face with both hands.  It takes a few minutes before he’s able to get out what he’s trying to say.  “What is wrong with me that they can’t just love me?”

“Oh, Bruno,” she breathes.  She puts her hand on his back, and she can feel him trembling as he tries to hold himself together.  “There is nothing wrong with you.”

“There must be,” he tells her hoarsely, then hiccups.  “It can’t be everyone else in the world.”

“Bruno, there’s nothing wrong with you.  People can love you.  I love you.”

“You won’t,” he forces out, voice sounding desperate.  “Maybe you do now, but you won’t.  It’ll be just like with everyone else.”  He sniffles.  “There’s something wrong with me.  Everyone sees it.  You’ll see it eventually, and when you do…” he breaks off, crying.

“Hey,” she says somewhat forcefully.  She kneels down in front of him, and rests her hands on his knees.  He turns his head away from her, hands still covering his face.  “You know what I see?”  When he doesn’t answer, she keeps going.  “I see the kindest man I’ve ever met.  I see someone who has had so many hard things thrown his way, and who still keeps going.”  He shakes his head, and she tries to keep her voice steady.  “I see a man who would do anything to protect the people he loves.”  She exhales slowly, and gently tugs one of his hands into hers.  He lets her hold his hand, but he uses the other to cover his face as completely as possible.  “I see the first person who has ever accepted me, in my entire life.”

She waits, but the only sounds he makes are the cries he’s trying to muffle.  “Bruno, I see you,” she tells him.  He sniffles.  She reaches over and touches his chin, trying to coax him into looking at her.  He avoids her gaze, hand over his eyes and curls covering his face.  “I see you.  And I love you.  And I’m not going anywhere, mi amor.”  She brings the hand she’s holding toward her face, kissing the back of his hand.  She keeps hold of his hand after, hugging it to her chest.

When he calms a bit, Bruno uses his free hand to wipe off his face.  He puts his hand right back over his eyes, though, and keeps it there even after he’s stopped crying.

“Do you think you could look at me?” she asks him.  He hesitates, shaking his head.  “Do you want to open your eyes so we can go back down?”  He shakes his head again, hand still completely covering his eyes.  “Okay.  We can just hang out up here for awhile.  As long as you need.”  She pauses.  “Or until somebody has to go to the bathroom.”  She sees the corners of his mouth twitch up, just a little.  “You know, at first I thought Mirabel was kidding about those stairs.  Now I know why you have such nice legs.”  Bruno snorts, then bites his lip.  He doesn’t move his hand from his eyes, but it feels like progress.  “Just let me know when you’re ready to walk back down, okay?”  After a moment, he nods.  “I’m going to get my cardio today.”  She sees him smile, just a little.  Amelia takes that as a small victory.

She stands up, and his hand tightens around hers for just a moment.  “Just getting more comfortable, cariño,” she tells him, and he relaxes a little when she sits on the boulder next to him.  “I’m not 20 anymore.”  She bumps his shoulder playfully.  “It’s hard on the knees.”

It’s a few more minutes before he takes in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.  And it’s another moment after when he finally lowers his hand from his eyes.  He keeps his gaze down, and she tries not to look directly at him right away.  She can still see that his eyes are red and a little puffy. 

They sit quietly, holding hands.  When he finally speaks, his voice sounds hoarse.  “I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?  You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I’m really embarrassed,” he confesses.

“You don’t need to be,” she tells him gently.  He sighs, and she squeezes his hand.  She debates on whether or not to say what she’s thinking.  “I think you need to talk to your family, cariño.”  He starts shaking his head immediately, and she can feel him tense.  “Bruno, they love you,” she tells him gently.  “And you’re hurting so much, mi vida.”

“I don’t know how to…I…” he sighs.  He shakes his head.  “I don’t think I can,” he admits.

“Maybe someday you can,” she tells him.  “I just hate to see you so sad.”

Bruno looks down, and she can feel his shame.  “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to see that.”

“Hey,” she nudges his shoulder with hers again. “That’s not what I meant.  I’m glad that you let me know when you’re sad.  It just hurts to see you hurt.”  He tenses, and she mentally kicks herself.  “NOT like that.  I know what you’re thinking.  I mean…I can feel it, but that’s really not what I meant,” she says quickly.  “I feel sad about the fact that you’re hurting.  The same way it probably hurts you when the people you love are upset.”  He stares at the ground, and when he glances at her she gives him a pointed look.  "How do you feel when I'm sad?" she asks him gently.

"Oh.”

"Yeah."

“What did I do to deserve you?” he murmurs.  She rests her head on his shoulder, and he rests his head on hers.

“I could ask you the same question, corazón.”

 

 

Notes:

If you’re wondering about the level of Bruno angst:
-he is working through some trauma in this story, and that is painful. Some cans of worms have been opened (so to speak) so his emotions are a little more raw/intense.
-Amelia is good at hiding her emotions because she is used to hiding her gift. She had to learn to control emotional reactions from a very young age.
-Bruno is less practiced at hiding emotions because there was no one around to notice.
-In my headcanon Bruno probably has some significant anxiety/depression
-also…It’s just fun to write. Hurt/comfort is a guilty pleasure

Chapter 24: Compulsions

Summary:

Trigger warning: anxiety, ocd

“I think María should secretly be a spy,” Antonio tells Bruno in an excited whisper.  They’ve been writing scripts for a new rat telenovela, and Bruno wonders why they hadn’t done this sooner. He’s been able to get out of his head a little bit, which helps. Plus, he’s actually been having fun.

He’s doing a little better.  He hasn’t talked to his family about before, and he’s not sure that he ever actually will.  But, since he talked with Amelia, he’s stopped thinking about it every moment, at least.

“I think that is a fantastic idea, Tonito.”  Bruno smiles at his nephew.  “And Juan should be her target.  But, while she’s watching him she falls deeply in love,” he continues dramatically. “How will she choose between her job and amor?”

Antonio giggles.  “Rosie likes it, too,” he tells Bruno.

Bruno reaches down and strokes the rat’s head.  “You like that, Rosie?  Of course, you can play María,” he murmurs.

“She wants to know if Carlos can play Juan,” Antonio tells him in a whisper.  “She likes him.”

Bruno bites his lip to keep from laughing.  “What do you think, Tonito?  Would Carlos make a good Juan?”

Antonio nods excitedly. Rosie squeaks, and he tilts his head a little.  He giggles again.  “Rosie wants to know if María and Juan are going to get married.”

“I’m not sure.”

Antonio looks thoughtful. “Maybe at the very end.”

“Sounds like a good plan.”  Bruno glances over at Amelia, who is sitting on the sofa with Mirabel talking about his sobrina’s embroidery.  Despite his initial reaction, he is relieved that he doesn’t have to keep Amelia’s secret anymore.  It’s been really nice seeing her relax and get to know his family better.  He smiles to himself, watching Mirabel show Amelia the project she’s been working on.

“Hey, Tío?” Antonio whispers.  “Are you going to marry Señorita Amelia?”

Bruno feels his anxiety spike, and he coughs, hoping Amelia won’t notice.  Great idea, genius.  Draw MORE attention, he scolds himself. Luck is actually on his side for once, though, or so it seems.  They glance his way briefly, but then Amelia and Mirabel are back to looking at Mira’s new project.

“Tío?”

“¿Cómo?” He asks his sobrinito nervously.

“What’s wrong?”  Ah, the innocence of childhood.  “I thought you loved her?”

“I…I do,” he answers quickly.

“So then, don’t you want to marry her?”  Antonio looks at him, confused.  Bruno doesn’t think that Amelia has noticed, but he feels like he could sink into the floor and die.

His nephew keeps looking at him expectantly, and Bruno doesn’t want to know how red his face is right now.  “It’s…it’s not that I don’t…” he fidgets with his hands.  “I… I don’t think she’d want to marry me, Tonito.”

“Why not?”

“She…um… well…” Bruno shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts.  He has no idea how to  explain this to a five year old.  Because I’m bad luck?  Because eventually she’s going to figure out that she can do better?  Because I’m a disaster and I’m going to mess it up?  “She…it’s complicated.”

“But you love her.  Doesn’t she love you?”

For now, Bruno thinks grimly. “Can we…um…can we not talk about this anymore?”

“Okay, Tío,” Antonio looks disappointed, and Bruno hates that he put that look on his sobrinito’s face.  “I think María and Juan should start dating, and then Juan finds out she is a spy and gets super mad.” 

He breathes a sigh of relief, trying to calm his nerves.  “I think that’s a great idea.”

***
Bruno doesn’t even realize he’s doing it right away.  At first, he’s just knocking on wood a little more frequently than normal.  He’s just a little anxious, is all.

Then he starts avoiding cracks when he has to go into town.  Not a huge deal.  So what if he’s a little more vigilant about it than usual?

He has to take a small bag of salt with him everywhere he goes now…but Julieta always has extra on hand, anyway.  He can deal with this.

He realizes it’s a problem when he can’t go through a doorway without holding his breath and crossing his fingers.  He starts to hide in his room more, because he doesn’t want anyone to see.

He starts yelling at himself in his head, trying to just stop it…but he can’t.

Antonio keeps trying to get him to finish their telenovela, and he makes excuse after excuse.  He doesn’t want to answer questions that he doesn’t even really know how to answer.

It hasn’t been this bad since he came back out of the walls.  He did it all the time in there; it was stressful being back there alone, and no one was around to see it anyway.  For the most part, he’s been able to keep his little…idiosyncrasies in check since he rejoined his family.  Unfortunately, it’s always been harder to manage when he gets anxious or upset.

He feels like he’s so easily triggered since he came back.  He gets overstimulated, overwhelmed, and overemotional about things that he used to take in stride; and every time, he criticizes himself for being weak and immature.  It makes him feel even more like he’s a burden, and that spirals into making everything worse.  He knows that his brain doesn’t work exactly the way it is “supposed” to, but he doesn’t know how to fix it.  He does his best to pretend, to mask, most of the time.  But when he feels like this?  It’s all he can do to just ride it out and survive.  He can’t stop thinking about his conversation with Antonio, and he can’t stop thinking about how bad his next vision might be, and he can’t stop thinking about being a disappointment to his family again.  His mind just won’t stop.

When Julieta finds him stocking up on salt in the kitchen, she gives him a look of concern that makes him burn with shame.

Pepa looks worried, and forms a small cloud, when she sees him holding his breath and crossing his fingers.

Camilo laughs when he knocks on wood, but stops laughing when Bruno can’t stop knocking. He starts bringing Bruno tea and reminding him to breathe, and seeing his usually jovial nephew looking so serious and cautious makes him want to cry.

He does cry, alone in his room, after Antonio asks him why he can’t step on cracks.

And he cries after the pitying looks he gets from Isabela and Dolores, when they see him have to pause and go back twice before he can enter his room.

He has a panic attack at dinner after he bumps into the salt shaker and spills it.  Throwing salt over his shoulder doesn’t help, even though he does it four times.  He leaves the table abruptly, and he doesn’t come out of his room the entire next day.

His mamá sighs and shakes her head when he crosses the street (and crosses himself) as they happen across a black cat.  He can tell that she’s trying, because ten years ago she would’ve said something.  But the look on her face makes him feel like he wants to die.

He sees Amelia a little, but he limits their time together.  The longer she’s with him, the more likely it is that she will see.  And he doesn’t want her to see this particular brand of “messed up.” The next time he goes into town, he stops by her house after.  He had wanted to ask her to go with him, but he knew he couldn’t keep it together for that entire length of time.  He hopes that maybe he can “get it out of his system”; he avoids every crack, and he throws salt over his shoulder an embarrassing number of times, trying to make it feel “right.”  He stops and knocks on trees on the way there, and his knuckles feel raw and ache by the time he arrives at her house.  He knocks on her door, and he feels an itching urge to keep knocking.

When she invites him in, he holds his breath and crosses his fingers behind his back.  He can feel an aching pull on the skin over his knuckles, and he winces.   She asks him to sit, and he picks the only chair in the room with a wooden frame.

“How has your day been so far?” she asks him.

“Good, great!” He says, overly enthusiastically.  He tries to keep his hand still, until it feels like he could die if he doesn’t knock.  He raps lightly on the wood of the chair.  “How was your day?”

“Fine so far,” she tells him.  “Nothing too exciting.”  He raps on the wood as minimally as possible, and it stymies the urge enough that he can breathe.  “I’ve just been doing some cleaning, and a little reading.”  She smiles at him.  “Your niece loaned me some thread to try embroidery.  I haven’t gotten up the courage to try it yet, but maybe later today.”

He’s distracted for a moment by the warmth he feels in his chest, thinking about her bonding with his sobrina.  The thought crosses his mind that he hopes this lasts, and almost immediately afterward anxiety starts to creep forward.  He wants to stay and be with her, but the urge to knock, to throw salt, to do something or anything to ward off the bad luck feels almost overwhelming.

“Well, I actually need to get going,” he tells her quickly.  He raps on the wood of the chair before he stands up.

“Okay,” she says.  She looks confused, maybe a little hurt, and Bruno’s chest aches.  

He keeps looking toward her, backing toward the door jam, hand behind his back.  “Yeah, never a dull moment.” He laughs nervously, rapping on the door frame behind him.  

“Well, I’m glad you found time to stop by.”  Bruno somehow manages to feel worse at that.  She walks over toward him, and he starts to panic a little.  He tries to talk himself into going through the door without holding his breath and crossing his fingers.  Maybe just holding breath is enough?  That would be less strange-looking.  It would probably be less obvious, but he can’t.  He feels stuck.  He feels a flush of shame when he realizes that he’s not going to get out the door without doing all of it.

“Bruno?” she questions.  “Is everything okay?”

He’s honestly kind of surprised that she didn’t call him out sooner.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal.  Just a little superstitious thing,” he reassures her, but his throat feels dry.  He tries to ignore the pounding in his heart as he holds his breath, crosses his fingers, and steps through the doorway.

And he thinks he might have actually gotten away with it, until he hears her gasp.

“Dios mío, Bruno, ven acá.” She walks over to him, and takes his right hand.  “¿Qué pasó?”

He looks at his hand, and one of his knuckles has split open and is dripping blood.  Busted.  Both me, and my knuckle.  “It’s no big deal,” he tries to reassure her.

“Yes, it is a big deal.  You’re bleeding.”

”Really, I’ll just go get something from Julieta and I’ll be good as new.”

“What happened?  What hurt you?”

“Nothing,” he says defensively. “I’m fine, everything’s fine.”  Don’t knock.  Don’t knock.  He pulls his hand away, and knocks on the table.  His face burns, and he stares at the floor.  He can’t bear to see pity on her face.

“Come on,” she tells him gently.  “We need to get your hand cleaned up.”

“It won’t be any trouble, I can just go to Julieta,” he mumbles.

“I’m not sending you out of my home with blood dripping down your arm, Bruno.”  She grabs his other hand and gently pulls him with her to the bathroom.  She doesn’t react when he stops suddenly, holding his breath and crossing his fingers before he can cross the threshold. She gestures for him to sit on the toilet.  “Siéntate.”

He does, slowly, and allows her to take a look at his hand.  She gets a washcloth and carefully washes away the blood.  She grabs a small stool to sit next to him while she starts to clean his wounds.

“Has this happened before?” she asks him gently.  He nods, and inside he is panicking, his mind playing “Oh God, she knows,” over and over on repeat.  He watches her clean and dry his hand, put a little medicine on his wounds, and bandage his knuckles.

“It happens sometimes…when I’m stressed or upset,” he surprises himself by telling her.  “It’s just to help with the bad luck, you know?”  His voice is quiet, barely audible.

Amelia hesitates.  “Are you upset with me?”

“No!  Not at all.”

“You just haven’t been around much.  I thought maybe…”

“I didn’t want you to see it,” he admits softly.  “I cant stop right now.  And I know it’s crazy…I feel crazy.  But I can’t…”

“Bruno,” she whispers.  “It’s okay.  Why were you so worried for me to see?”

“I just didn’t want you to look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m broken.  Defective.”  He laughs humorlessly.  “Crazy.”

“I would never think that about you,” she tells him seriously.  “We all have things about ourselves that we don’t love-that we’re not proud of.”  She smiles at him kindly.  “We all have wounds.” She kisses his hand over the bandage, and he closes his eyes.  “Do you really think a wound could change the way that I feel about you?”

He shrugs.  His eyes burn, and he keeps them closed.

“I love you,” she tells him, and he chews on his lower lip to keep it from wobbling.  “I love all of you.  Even the parts you feel like you need to hide.”  He breathes through his nose, keeping his eyes closed and trying to will away the tears.  “Nothing is going to change that, mi vida.”

He tries to regulate his breathing, and he doesn’t open his eyes until the threat of tears has passed.  When he does finally open them, she smiles at him, then stands up.  “Come on,” she picks up his uninjured hand.  “Now let’s go see if we can get something from Julieta to heal your hand.”

He holds his breath and crosses his fingers when he leaves her bathroom, and again when he leaves her home.  He tries to keep from doing it, but he finds himself knocking on a few trees along their way.  He winces when he raps his knuckles against the tree bark.

She hasn’t seen the salt yet, but it’s hard not to throw it.  He keeps trying to reach for it in the pocket of his ruana, then he realizes what he’s doing and brings his hand back down to fiddle with the ruana’s edge.  It’s probably the seventh time he’s done so when Amelia squeezes his hand gently.  “Whatever it is that you feel like you need to do…it’s okay.”

He shakes his head, but the feeling won’t go away.  He puts his hand into the small pouch of salt, and pulls some out to throw over his shoulder.  He breathes a sigh of relief as he tosses it, even as his face flushes with embarrassment.

“You know, I have a lucky bracelet,” she tells him.  He looks at her in surprise.  “It’s too big for my wrist, so I wear it around my ankle.  I guess that makes it an anklet…Anyway, I wear it anytime I have something I’m very nervous about.”

“How do you know it’s lucky?” he asks quietly, clearing his throat.

“I don’t.  But it feels lucky.  Some of my best memories have been when I was wearing it.” she smiles at him, squeezing his hand again.  “Including the day I met you.”

“Best day of my life,” he tells her softly.  And he means that.  It may have started out badly, but he wouldn’t change it for anything.  She smiles at him again, and despite how he’s been feeling the last few days he can’t help but smile back.  After a few moments, he asks her hesitantly if she’d like to stay for dinner.  He’s still anxious about her seeing how often he’s doing…well, everything that he’s been doing.  But he feels calmer with her now than he’s felt in days.  His family put up with his eccentricities, but they’ve never made him feel like it was okay…like he was still okay.  Her acceptance feels like a soothing balm for the shame he’s been feeling.

“I’d love to,” she tells him. “I’ve missed you the last few days.”   She nudges her shoulder into his.  “Good luck getting rid of me,” she teases.

“I don’t want to ever get rid of you,” he admits.  

“Then don’t,” she tells him.  Her gaze is intense for a moment, and he finds himself thinking of his conversation with Antonio the other day.

Stop thinking about things that are never going to happen, he chastises himself.  There’s no way she could ever want to marry you.  He feels really sad for just a moment before he pushes it away, resolving to enjoy however much time that she decides to stay with him.

Chapter 25: Rats

Summary:

Dolores actually kind of keeps a secret. For now.

Notes:

Warning and slight spoiler: they are going to work it out, but they’ve both got baggage and they will have lots of ups and downs. This chapter ends on a bit of a downer. Next one coming as soon as I figure out what they do next lol.

“Ah, the betrayal,” Bruno narrates dramatically.  Juan (Carlos) gives an affirming squeak.  “I will never love again.”

“Juan, mi vida, please,” Antonio protests.  “I didn’t know that I would fall in love with you when I took the assuh…”. He looks at Bruno behind the stage.

“Assignment,” Bruno whispers.

“Assignment,” Antonio finishes.

“Please, do not say anymore,” Bruno says loudly.  “It no longer matters that my heart stops whenever I look at you…or that I see your smile in my dreams.”  He sighs.  “Please…go.”

“I will never give up on us,” Antonio says.

“There is no ‘us’,” Bruno says sadly.  “Goodbye, mi vida.”  He and Antonio stand up and take a bow.  Bruno gestures to the rats.  “Continuará.”

“Oh come on!” Camilo protests.  Mirabel and Dolores giggle.

“Excellent job, Tonito,” Pepa tells her son, hugging him.  She reaches over and squeezes Bruno’s arm.  “Y tú también, hermano.”

“Tío, you just can’t stop there,” Camilo grumbles under his breath.

Amelia comes up and gives Bruno a kiss on the cheek.  “I can honestly say, that is the best telenovela performed by rats that I have ever seen.”

“Well, you’ll have to tune in next time to see what becomes of Juan and María.  Will their love ever be?” he finishes with a flourish, and Amelia grins at him.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” she tells him.  Bruno smiles at that, but a small part of him wonders if she’ll still be around by the time they finish the next installment.  He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts.  

Rosie squeaks, and he scratches her head.  “Yes, Rosie, you did a wonderful job.  You and Carlos have such chemistry.”  

“Antonio, you did amazing!” Amelia tells his nephew.  “I can’t wait to see what happens next.”

“Gracias, Tí-uh…Señorita Amelia.”  Antonio tells her shyly. Bruno feels himself flush.  Tía?  “So you’ll come next time?”

“Of course,” she answers him.  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.  How can I not find out what happens between María and Juan?”  Bruno’s embarrassment is momentarily forgotten when he sees the bright smile on his sobrinito’s face.  When Antonio gives her a hug, Bruno’s heart swells.

“Will you sit next to me at dinner?” Antonio asks Amelia.

She glances at Bruno, and smiles at Antonio.  “I’d love to.”  Antonio smiles back, and runs off to tell Pepa that the seats need to be moved a little.

“Is that okay?” Amelia asks Bruno quietly.  “You don’t have assigned seating or anything, right?”

Bruno chuckles.  “Of course it’s alright, mi vida. I can never say no to him either.”

Isabela comes over for a moment.  “Señorita Amelia, can we borrow you for a moment?”

“Of course.”  She smiles at Bruno, who watches her walk away with his niece and join Luisa and Dolores.  He’s glad to see Isabela relax a little bit.  It’s nice to finally see her happy.

Julieta comes over to him.  “They love her, you know.”  Bruno looks at her, and she tilts her head toward Amelia.  He blushes, but smiles as he watches her interacting with his nieces.  “Just thought you might like to know…in case you had any plans.”

Bruno looks at his sister, confused. “What do you mean?”

Julieta gives him a knowing look.  “What do you think I mean?”  When he just looks at her, she smiles kindly.  “I meant that I think everyone would support you, if you wanted to make Amelia a part of the family…officially.”

Bruno swallows hard.  Amelia is still talking with his sobrinas, but she glances over at him and smiles.  When she goes back to her conversation, Bruno looks down at his feet.  “It won’t work out,” he tells Julieta quietly.

Julieta looks at him, surprised.  “Did you look into your future?”

“I didn’t have to.” He smiles at his sister sadly. “I’m just trying to enjoy this while I can.”

“Bruno, you can’t-”

He doesn’t find out what Julieta was going to say, as their mamá calls out that it’s time to eat.

***

Amelia very much enjoyed her first rat telenovela.  It was fun, quirky, endearing…a lot like Bruno, actually.  She’s also enjoying letting her guard down a little and getting to know his family.  His nieces and nephews have all been kind and welcoming.  It actually kind of feels like she’s a part of the family.  She’s afraid to get too attached…not just to Bruno, but to all of them.  At the same time, she feels happy and safe in a way she’s never really felt before.  She feels accepted, which is all she’s ever really wanted. It was so sweet when Antonio asked her to sit with him.

It’s going to break her heart if it doesn’t work out.

She shakes her head a little, and tries to get out of her head and into the conversation around her.  She smiles a little when she realizes Camilo is still complaining to Bruno about the cliffhanger and trying to needle him for spoilers.

“Milo, you’re going to have to wait like everyone else,” Bruno scolds, but there’s a smile on his face.

“Oh, come on,” Camilo complains.

Bruno shakes his head, and Camilo huffs out a frustrated sigh.  He shifts into his abuela.  “You should be ashamed, Brunito, keeping your favorite sobrino in suspense.”  When Bruno just gives him a Look, he shifts back glumly.

“Easy, Luisa, don’t drop a donkey,” Amelia hears from Mirabel, who is rolling her eyes.

Amelia covers her mouth to hide a chuckle.  She elbows Bruno to her left.  “Drop a donkey?  Is that a new expression I’ve never heard?” She asks him under her breath.

“If so, it’s new to me as well,” he mumbles back.

“It’s just an inside joke in this family,” Dolores tells them quietly.  Amelia feels a pang of hurt, and she briefly wonders how many inside jokes Bruno has missed out on over the years.  “Whenever we’d annoy Luisa while she was doing chores as kids, she’d always tell us to ‘go away before we made her drop a donkey.’  It just kind of stuck.”

Bruno’s expression tightens for just a moment, and when he smiles it doesn’t quite meet his eyes.  She squeezes his hand under the table, and she feels him relax a little.

“Dolores, how are things with you and Mariano?” Amelia asks, and Bruno shoots her an appreciative look.

“Wonderful,” Dolores sighs, blushing.  “He hasn’t asked me, but he’s been talking about getting married.”  She smiles a little to herself.

“And he treats you well?” Amelia asks her.

“He treats me like I’m the most precious thing on Earth to him,” Dolores answers quietly.

“In that case, I’m very happy for you.”

“Thank you.”  Dolores beams.  When Félix asks Bruno a question, Dolores leans toward Amelia.  She looks pointedly at her tío and then back at Amelia. Amelia blushes, and glances at Bruno out of the corner of her eye.  She looks back at Dolores, giving her a small shrug.

“You don’t want to get married?” Dolores asks her as quietly as possible.  Amelia anxiously looks at Bruno, but he’s still talking to Félix.

Amelia takes a deep breath, and remembering Dolores’ gift, she starts to speak very softly, in barely a whisper.  “I never thought I would.  But it’s not that I didn’t want to.  I never thought I would find someone who would accept my gift, and love me.”  She gives Dolores a small, sad smile before continuing.  “It still seems too good to be true.  I love your uncle, very much.  But I know that at some point it will be too much.  I don’t think our story ends with a marriage.”

Just then, Pepa asks Amelia if she’d like to join her in town tomorrow. And Amelia tries not to notice the sad smile that Dolores gives her.

***

When dinner ends, Bruno walks Amelia home.

“Camilo seems really into the telenovela,” Amelia remarks.

“Camilo is big on instant gratification,” Bruno chuckles.  “Of course, at his age I don’t know that I was any better.”  He smiles wistfully.  “I always wanted the future to either hurry up or slow down, depending on what I saw.”

Amelia squeezes his hand.  “I was always thinking that something better had to be coming.  And look!” She grins at him.  “I was finally right.”

“You always see the good in things,” Bruno murmurs.  “Even me.”

“It’s not hard to see the good in you,” Amelia tells him.  “If you take the time to look.”

Bruno is silent for a moment, then clears his throat.  She can feel his emotions swirling, but she takes a deep breath.  He’ll tell you if he wants to, she reminds herself.  Give him some privacy.  He clears his throat, again before speaking.  “Dolores seems really happy with Mariano.”

Amelia smiles.  “That she does.  I’m happy for her.  She says he treats her very well, and Dolores is such a sweet young woman.”

Bruno hums in agreement.  They walk in silence for a bit, looking at the stars.

“It’s a beautiful night,” Amelia sighs.

“Yeah, it is,” Bruno says quietly, and Amelia blushes when she realizes he’s looking at her rather than at the sky.  He stops walking, and tugs on her hand just a little.  When she stops with him, he leans in and kisses her.  Her heart beats faster as she kisses him back.  Their kiss lasts longer than usual, and she has to catch her breath when he pulls away.

The conversation she had with Dolores comes back to her, and she feels a little bit of fear.  She loves him so much.  She’s not sure how she will get through it when he decides that he’s had enough.  He looks deeply into her eyes, and she feels like she could get lost in his.

Which, all of a sudden, have started glowing.

“Bruno?” she asks, feeling panicked.  “BRUNO!” He doesn’t respond, just staring off.  “Bruno, what’s happening?” she pleads.  She touches his face, and suddenly the glowing fades.  He looks exhausted, and he’s breathing quickly.  “Bruno?  Do we need Julieta?” she asks him, panicking.

Bruno focuses his eyes on Amelia, and his face turns to stone.  He shakes his head.  “No.  Let’s get you home.”  He starts walking.

“Hold up,” she tells him, following after.  “What just happened to you?”

“Nothing happened to me.”  Bruno keeps walking briskly, and they are almost to Amelia’s home.

“Your eyes were glowing.  Something happened.”  She tries to keep up, which is difficult given how fast he’s walking.

“I said I’m fine, Amelia,” he says abruptly.  Amelia stops in her tracks for a moment.  She walks silently after that, and she can feel anger and frustration rolling off of Bruno.

She feels so stupid.  She’d been so happy just an hour ago.

When they finally arrive at her door, she says good night, but Bruno has already turned to start to walk back home.  She gets inside her door, and bursts into tears.

***

She saw his eyes glow, and she reacted just like he feared she would.  He’s never seen her look so scared.

He walks back toward his home in a daze.  His breath hitches, and he realizes he’s crying.  He wipes both hands over his face.  He stops for a moment, crouching down with his hands over his face.  It takes several minutes before he is able to pull himself back together enough to finish walking home.  He wipes at his face again, stands up, and continues to walk.

He feels numb, empty.  It hurts to breathe.

When he gets back home, he goes straight to his room.  When his sisters try to ask him what’s wrong, he just continues up the stairs woodenly.

He shuts himself in his room and crawls into bed.  He feels heavy, and exhausted.  Everything is too much.  He wants to cry, but he can’t even bring himself to do that.  He stares at the wall for a very long time.

Chapter 26: Love Hurts...

Notes:

This chapter might be revised, but I didn’t want to leave the story in a negative place. This chapter is emotional, but hang in there.

Bruno is still in his bed when Pepa storms in…literally.

“Bruno, what did you do?” she asks accusingly.  He just looks at her.  “I went over to Amelia’s so we could go to town.”  Bruno closes his eyes.  He can’t talk about it.  He feels his eyes start to well up a little just thinking about it.  He’d hoped it was all a bad dream.  “She looks terrible.  She looks like someone stomped on her heart.”  She walks over to him, and he doesn’t open his eyes but she still sounds angry.  He feels a tear slip down his cheek, and it’s quiet for a moment before he feels Pepa sit on his bed.  He hears her whisper, “clear skies, clear skies” before she reaches out and touches his arm.  Her voice sounds much calmer when she speaks next.  “Bruno, what happened?”

Bruno tries to stop his tears.  He’s always been embarrassed to cry in front of Pepa, who is passionate but also so full of fire and strength.  Bruno shakes his head, but he feels more traitor tears slip down his cheeks.  He keeps his eyes closed, and startles a little when Pepa gathers him into her arms. He’s not used to her being comforting, and he’s hurting, and when she rubs his back he feels the floodgates open.  He hides his face in her shoulder, trying to stifle sobs.

“Hermano, talk to me,” Pepa coaxes.  “What happened?”

He just shakes his head.  He doesn’t know what to say, and right now he doesn’t feel like he can speak anyway.  He knows Pepa is worried; she’s not exactly known for her patience, but she just holds him and lets him cry on her shoulder.  

“Mom?” Camilo calls, coming into Bruno’s room.  Bruno sniffles and hides his face further.  This entire day is mortifying already.  “Tío, are you okay?”  Camilo sounds worried, and Bruno can’t deal with this right now. 

“Camilo, you know better than to come in someone’s room without knocking,” Pepa scolds.

“I literally don’t think I’ve ever seen you knock on a door,” Camilo deadpans.

Pepa moves a little, and Bruno guesses she’s making a shooing motion.  “Whatever you need, I’ll be there in a few minutes.  Or you can ask your Papá.”

“But-” 

“Is it an emergency?”

“No,” Camilo mutters.

“Then you heard me.  Go.”

When Camilo leaves, Pepa hugs Bruno a little tighter before pulling back.  She strokes some of his hair out of his face, but he keeps his head down.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks him quietly.  He shakes his head.  “Is there anything I can do?”  He swallows around the lump in his throat, and shakes his head again.

“Okay.  You need to eat.  If I haven’t seen you by lunch, someone is coming back up here.”  She kisses him on the top of his head, and she leaves.

Bruno lays back down, and cries until he falls back asleep.

He wakes to Camilo bringing him lunch.

“Hey, Tío,” he greets enthusiastically.  “I brought empanadas.”

Bruno sits up slowly.  He nods at Camilo in thanks, but does not move to eat.

“You didn’t think mom would let me just leave it and not make sure that you eat, did you?”

“I suppose not.”  His voice is raspy, but Camilo doesn’t react.  Camilo sits on the bed while Bruno starts to nibble.  He’s never really wanted to eat much when he gets upset.  

Camilo starts telling Bruno about the prank he played on Félix.  Bruno smiles just a little, and he feels guilty over how relieved Camilo looks at that moment. He manages to get down one empanada, and he promises he’ll try to nibble at the other.

When Camilo leaves, he tries to distract himself by reading.  Unfortunately, he can’t get the image of Amelia with fear in her eyes out of his mind.  He hates his gift.  It wasn’t even that bad of a vision, but it still managed to ruin things for him.

He’s always hated the involuntary visions.  They used to scare him so much, and he’s still afraid, every time, that he’ll see something terrible.  They take over his mind without warning, and it feels violating.  Plus, people are always afraid of him when his eyes glow.  The first time it ever happened, he was actually with his family at mass.   Everyone, even the priest, called him a demonio.  His mother was able to straighten it out and convince the town that he wasn’t possessed, but he’s still never been comfortable going back to mass.  He was only five years old; it’s been more than 30 years and his palms still sweat every time he walks by the church.  He never thought he’d see Amelia look at him the way the townspeople did that day.  He should’ve known better.

The page he’s looking at starts to blur, and he tosses his book on the table and lays back down.  He’s not sure how long he lays there before Julieta comes in.

“Hola, hermano,” she says quietly.  He raises his hand in a halfhearted wave.  She hands him a glass of water.  “You need to drink, eat, and talk to someone about what’s going on,” she tells him gently.

He sits up and takes a sip of water before setting it down.  He wrings his hands, and Julieta sits down next to him, waiting patiently.

“She saw, and it’s over,” he mumbles finally.  He feels the tears start again, and he can’t believe he still has any in his body.

“Saw what?” Julieta asks.

He gestures to his eyes, and his breath catches.  He bites his lip, sucking in another breath and cursing the tear trickling down his cheek.

“She saw you cry?” Julieta asks, confused.

Bruno shakes his head.  Embarrassing as this is, he wishes that’s all she’d seen. “No,” he rasps out.  “I mean, technically yes…but no.”  He wipes his cheeks.  “She saw my eyes glow,” he whispers, closing his eyes.  It does nothing to stop the tears that are now cascading down his cheeks.

“Bruno, what did she actually say?” he hears his sister ask cautiously.

He shakes his head back and forth, trying to stop hearing the shrieks of “demonio” from so long ago.  He puts his hands over his ears, looking down.  He starts rocking a little, and Julieta waits for him to calm down.

When he can breathe again, he says quietly, voice broken, “she was afraid of me.”

“Did she say that she was afraid of you?” Julieta asks him.

“She didn’t have to, Juli,” he says.  He wipes his face again.  “I know what fear looks like.  Unfortunately, I’m quite familiar with it.”

“Maybe you should talk with her,” Julieta suggests gently.

He shakes his head.  “I can’t.”  When Julieta is quiet, he continues.  “I can’t see her look at me like that again.”  His voice breaks, and he covers his face with his hands.

Julieta wraps her arms around him.  He sobs, and she rubs his back, strokes his hair, and murmurs that it’s going to be okay.  He appreciates her trying, but he knows that it won’t be okay.

When he finally stops crying, Julieta hugs him, then reaches for the glass of water.  “Drink,” she commands him.  “There’s no way that you’re not dehydrated.”

He snorts, and tries to ignore how wet his voice still sounds.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  He takes a couple of drinks, then sets the glass back down.

“Mmmhmm.”  Julieta raises an eyebrow at him.  She kisses him on the cheek.  “I still think you should talk to her.  Maybe it’s not what you think.”

“Maybe,” he says doubtfully. Maybe it’s exactly what I think.  That thought makes him feel sick. “But I just…I can’t right now.”  He swallows.

“Okay,” she says quietly.  “Is there anything I can do?”

He shakes his head.  “You’ve done enough.  But thank you.”

“Of course.”

***

He’s surprised his family has let him isolate for as long as they did, but it still doesn’t make it any easier when Pepa comes in and commands him to get up.

“Bruno, it’s been days.”  She pulls his blanket off of him, and he protests.  “Get up.  Go talk to her.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”  Pepa levels her gaze at him.  “And you need to.  This isn’t good for you.”

“It’s not good for me to see terror in her eyes either, but here we are,” he tells her stubbornly.

“Last chance,” she says.  He glares at her.  “Okay, Casita, bring Amelia here please.”

“What?” Bruno scrambles up.  “But-”

“I told her you were not well, and that she needed to come,” Pepa informs him.

“How could you do that?” he asks angrily.

“It’s for your own good.”  She opens the door, and when Bruno sees Amelia he feels like he could die of embarrassment.  “Amelia, my brother’s been a mess for days.  I don’t know what happened between you two, but you need to talk to each other.  And if you don’t,” she says, staring pointedly at Bruno.  “Then I’m going to summon a blizzard outside your door and you’ll be snowed in together.”  Pepa flounces out, and Bruno is speechless for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry,” Amelia tells him.  “I shouldn’t have just come, but she said you were unwell, and I was worried.”  Bruno can’t look her in the face.  “I’m not sure what I did,” she admits.  “I know you’re angry with me.”  That causes him to look up in surprise.  “But I’m not really sure why.”

He sits back on his bed and tries to gather his courage, to think of anything to say, but his mouth feels like it’s stuffed with cotton.

Amelia stands there awkwardly.  “Okay, well, I’m going to tell Pepa that I have to go. You shouldn’t have to see me if you don’t want to.”  Her voice breaks just a little, and Bruno’s heart aches.

“Wait,” he croaks out.  She stops moving.  “I’m not angry with you,” he says softly.  She looks at him doubtfully.  “I…” he swallows.  He bites his lip when he feels like he could cry again.  “I can’t…”. He closes his eyes.  “I couldn’t handle you being afraid of me,” he admits, voice cracking painfully.

She is silent, and he tenses when he feels the bed shift as she sits next to him.  It feels like a long time before she speaks.  “What do you mean?”

He can’t talk.  He’s going to break down again if he does.  He keeps his eyes closed, fighting against the waves of emotion he feels.

“I was never afraid of you,” she tells him eventually.

“What?” His voice sounds tearful, and despite his best efforts he feels tears start to spill down his cheeks.

“I said, I was never afraid of you.”  She pauses.  “I was afraid for you.”  He looks at her, and sniffles.  “I was scared because I didn’t know what was happening to you.  All of a sudden your eyes started glowing.  And I had no idea if you were alright, or if something awful was happening.”  Her voice shakes a little.  “And then you were angry with me, and I could feel it.”

Bruno covers his face with his hands.  “I wasn’t angry at you,” he tells her through tears.  “I was angry at my gift.  I thought you were scared of me, just like everyone else.”  He sobs.  “And I couldn’t…it…” He breaks off, trying to swallow sobs.

“It hurt,” she finishes for him.  He nods, hands still covering his face.  She puts her arm around him, and he leans forward, forehead near his knees, hands clasped over the back of his head, hiding his head in his arms.  “I’m so sorry,” she murmurs, and a sob tears its way out of his chest.  She rubs circles on his back, and he tries to pull himself back together.

“I’m sorry, too,” he tells her, voice still thick with tears.  “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“It’s okay,” she tells him.  She hesitates.  “Can I ask…why did you jump to that conclusion?”

Demonio, he hears.  Maldito.  El Diablo.  He draws in a shaky breath, and he starts to speak.

He talks about how often people have been afraid of him.  He tells her how terrifying it had been when he was very young.  He manages to tell her about what happened at the church, but he doesn’t get it out without crying again.  He opens up about how often he sees fear in peoples’ eyes, and how much it hurts him every single time.  He tells her how his heart felt like it broke when she looked at him in fear, and that time, they both cry.

She holds him, and for a minute he feels safe.

Chapter 27: ...It Also Heals

Summary:

Comments welcome. This chapter is more fluff and I’m not sure about it.

Amelia can’t believe how much they managed to mess this up.

She wipes her face, and Bruno pulls back and wipes his as well. She sniffles, and he hands her a tissue.

“You’re very prepared,” she teases before wiping her face and blowing her nose.

Bruno turns red, and rubs his hand on the back of his neck.  “Yeah, I, um…” he coughs, looking off to the side.  “I kind of needed them the last few days, you know?”  He chuckles nervously.

Amelia thinks about him sitting up here crying, alone, and her heart hurts.  “I’m really sorry that I hurt you,” Amelia tells him seriously.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he responds quietly.

“I know.  But I’m still sorry.”  She elbows him lightly.  “If it helps, my last few days weren’t any better.”

He looks ashamed.  “That actually makes it worse.  I’m sorry about how I reacted.”

“It’s okay,” she whispers. “I understand now.”  She reaches over and squeezes his hand, and he threads his fingers through hers.  “You know, the glowing actually looked pretty cool, now that I know it wasn’t killing you.”  She laughs a little under her breath.  “And just so you know, if anyone in this house is terrifying, it’s your sister,” she whispers conspiratorially.

“I’ll make sure to tell her.”

“Don’t you dare,” Amelia tells him, bumping his shoulder with hers.  “She really loves you, you know.  She didn’t even know what happened and she was furious when she showed up this morning.  I was afraid I was going to be struck by lightning before she gave me a chance to explain.”

“We should go tell her that we talked it out,” Bruno sighs, but he’s smiling.  “I really don’t want to have to shovel snow in the hallway.”

“I thought she was bluffing about that,” Amelia giggles.

“Pepa never bluffs,” he tells her grimly.

She follows Bruno out of the room cautiously.  There’s no snow outside (yet), but Pepa visibly relaxes when she sees them.  She hugs Bruno, and Amelia is surprised when Pepa embraces her after.  Pepa whispers a barely audible “thank you” in Amelia’s ear, and Amelia hugs her tighter in response.

After Pepa runs off to deal with something with Antonio, Amelia leans toward Bruno.  “So, when’s the last time you went outside?”  He turns red, and she slips her hand into his.  “Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

Bruno is fairly quiet on their walk.  It seems like they are okay, and Amelia is relieved about that. It was a really rough few days.  She does still feel a little keyed up, though, and she’s a bit anxious about the fact that Bruno doesn’t seem quite comfortable with her at the moment.  She tries to tell herself that she’s reading too much into things.  He’s probably still a little keyed up, too, she reasons with herself.  Plus, he’s always a little awkward after he’s been emotional.    For every couple of steps forward, it feels like another step backward.

He’s guarding himself, she realizes suddenly.  She’s surprised that she is just now picking up on it; he does it every time after he’s been vulnerable with her.  It’s like he’s waiting for her to decide that she’s had enough; like he’s been “too much” and now he has to keep himself in check.  She gets it, really she does.  In fact, she does the same thing at times.  For her, it’s usually after something related to her gift.  They’ve both had bad experiences before, and it makes sense that trust wouldn’t come easily.  Still, it makes her sad that he seems to think he means so little to her; that he believes she would walk away just because it’s gotten a little bit hard.

She doesn’t mind walking in silence.  Sometimes she even enjoys being able to get lost in her thoughts, but today she can feel a nervous energy between them.  She gathers her courage, and she stops walking.  She keeps hold of Bruno’s hand, and it only takes a second for him to realize she’s stopped.  She pulls him into a hug, then loosens her hold just a little so that she can kiss him gently on the lips.  She keeps her arms around his waist, and his are draped over her shoulders.

“What was that for?” he asks her quietly.

“I love you,” she answers him, looking into his eyes.  “That’s all.”

He leans in and kisses her again.  They kiss a few times, and his lips feel both soft and firm against her own.  She can smell sand, and she feels butterflies in her chest.  He suddenly hugs her tightly, and when she breathes in she feels the warmth radiating from his body.  “I love you so much,” he murmurs near her ear.  She feels tears prick her eyes, but they don’t fall.

“Te amo, mi alma,” she tells him.  She feels him tighten his arms around her a little more.  They stay like that for a few minutes.  She nestles her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.  Being in his arms feels warm and safe; she could stay like this forever.

“Alright, Tío!” Amelia hears, and peeks up at Bruno. 

“I’m gonna kill that kid,” Bruno grumbles, blushing.  She can feel his chest vibrate as he chuckles.

She turns her head, resting it back on Bruno's chest, and sees Isabela smirking and Camilo spitting out a mouthful of flowers.  “I think Isabela has you covered,” she laughs. 

Bruno looks over and starts laughing as well.  "Gracias, Isa!"  Isabella gives a small wave and a smile, and heads back toward the house.  Camilo spits again, and shoots an annoyed look at his cousin.  It makes Amelia smile when she realizes that, despite Camilo's efforts at embarrassing his uncle, Bruno still isn't pulling away.  When Camilo walks over to them, Amelia turns to face him but Bruno keeps an arm around her, holding her close to him.

"Isa doesn't fight fair," Camilo mutters dejectedly.  Bruno reaches over and ruffles his nephew’s hair, smiling at him.  He gets a small smile back from Camilo who immediately tries to smooth his hair back down.  

"You'd better watch it, Milo.  I'll remember this the next time you bring someone home," Bruno warns, but Amelia can feel his amusement.

"You wouldn't," Camilo protests.

"Watch me," Bruno challenges.  Amelia stifles a laugh.

"You know, you'd have to actually leave your room," Camilo teases.  Bruno puts his hand over his heart as if he's been wounded, stumbling back a step.  Unfortunately he seems to have forgotten that his other arm is around Amelia, and she stumbles back as well.

“Smooth, Tío,” Camilo gets out between laughs.

Bruno turns bright red, but when he sees that Amelia is giggling he starts to laugh, too.

“Ay, Milo, don’t you have anything better to do than embarrass me?” Bruno asks him, still laughing.

“Not really.”

Bruno shakes his head.  “We were just going for a walk,” Amelia tells Camilo.  “Would you like to come?”

“Ah, that’s okay.  It didn’t really look like a lot of walking was happening, if you know what I mean.”  Camilo waggles his eyebrows, and Bruno looks at him in mock outrage.  “Later, Tío!” Camilo smiles sweetly.  “Adios, Señorita Amelia.”

They both wave goodbye to Camilo, and Amelia chuckles. “So, he seems like a handful.”

“You have no idea,” Bruno groans, smiling.  “He’s a good kid, though.”

“You seem like you’re a great uncle,” Amelia tells him as they continue walking.  “I love seeing you with the kids.”  She smiles at him, and Bruno beams back.

”I try to be a good tío.  I missed a lot.  I just…don’t want to miss out on anymore, you know?”  His eyes are suspiciously bright, and he clears his throat.  “Plus, they’re all good kids.  They make it easy for me.  Well, most of the time anyway.”  He smiles at that.

“Did you ever think about having children of your own?” she asks him.

“I used to,” Bruno says softly.  “Then I moved into the walls, and I…I didn’t really see much point in dreaming or hoping, you know?”  He shakes his head.  “Did you?  Ever think about it, I mean?”

“I never really let myself,” she admits. “I love children, but…why let yourself dream about something you’ll never have?”  She smiles at him sadly.

“You can’t…?  Sorry, never mind. That’s none of my business,” Bruno says apologetically.

“No, it’s okay.  It’s not that.  I don’t know if I can or can’t,” she tells him.  “It’s just…my own family didn’t…” She sighs.  Bruno squeezes her hand.  “No one has ever accepted me…before you.”

Bruno stops, and pulls her into a hug.  “Te amo con todo mi corazón.  Te adoro, mi media naranja.”

Amelia’s heart feels like it could burst as she hugs him back.  “Te amo tanto, también.  Exactamente como eres.  Nunca quiero estar sin ti.”

Bruno holds her tighter, and she listens to his heart beat a little faster in his chest.

They stay like that for a very long time.

Notes:

Te amo con todo mi corazón. Te adoro, mi media naranja.
— He’s telling her he loves her with all his heart, he adores her, and she’s his “other half.”

Te amo tanto, también. Exactamente como eres. Nunca quiero estar sin ti.
—I love you so much, too. Exactly as you are. I never want to be without you.

Chapter 28: Bruno’s Brain is a Confusing Place

Summary:

Bruno’s moods are not particularly stable at the moment. Trigger warning: depression.

Notes:

I think I'm a little blocked lol. This chapter may go through some revision still, but it's been awhile and I'm trying to get back into this story.

Bruno feels like an idiot over how badly he misinterpreted Amelia’s actions.

When he’s with her, he feels happier than he’s ever been, and terrified at the same time.  He’s completely head-over-heels.  He knows that he wants to spend his life with her.  But what if she doesn’t feel the same way?  He wants to ask her to marry him, but he can’t imagine her saying yes and so he can’t even think about it without having a panic attack.

The sadness that comes afterward (when he thinks about life without her and about the myriad of reasons that she’s going to leave eventually) is also hard to manage.  He tries to live for today, but his mind has never been great at staying in one place.  He’s been spending more time with his family though, including working on telenovelas with Antonio, and that helps.

The fact that his sisters in particular seem to be treating him with kid gloves?  Less helpful.  And he gets it…really he does.  He was a mess, and they were worried.  But it still hurts, especially when it had just started feeling more like it used to, before he went into the walls.  It would be easier if he could be angry about it, but he knows that they mean well.  Also, he’s much more used to being mad at himself than at others…which is almost comical given how much he abhors being everyone’s scapegoat.  Even with as judgmental as everyone else has been of him over the years, Bruno is still his own worst critic.

Bruno’s never been particularly kind to himself, but it got so much worse when he was living in the walls.  There were entire days, especially when the rest of the house was quiet, that he’d get stuck in his head.  That was really not a pleasant place to be.  When he didn’t have anything else to do, his brain could always play through “Bruno’s Greatest Mistakes” on repeat.  Most depressing soundtrack imaginable, he thinks grimly, shaking his head to clear his thoughts.  It’s unfortunately the same soundtrack that often plays when he’s trying to go to sleep.

Bruno looks at others in his life, and he’s so happy that they seem content.  He doesn’t want to see his sobrinos, or his sisters for that matter, struggle the way he does.  But it also makes him wonder…what’s wrong with him? Why can’t he relax, why can’t he let up on the self-criticism for even a day, why can’t he just be happy?  He remembers when he was in the walls, how he cried more days than not, trying to tell himself that someday things would get better.  Things are better, so why does he still hate himself so much?  Why does he feel so sad when he’s alone with his thoughts?

Outside of his total breakdown when he was estranged from Amelia, he thinks he hides it pretty well.  No one has seen him cry for awhile, and he hasn’t had any panic attacks outside of his room.  He’s having more days with a panic attack than without, though, and he’s cried at least once every day this week.  He’s had to walk away abruptly a few times, not wanting anyone to see him starting to get emotional.  Fortunately (in his mind, anyway) his social skills have always been questionable at best; for the most part, no one really seems perturbed when he walks away in the middle of a conversation.  Look at that, finally something helpful to come out of a decade with no human contact, he thinks wryly.

Mirabel and Camilo seem to have made it their personal mission to reintegrate Bruno into the family, though.  Which is…well, it’s actually very sweet, but the problem is that they tend to notice when Bruno mysteriously slips away.  He doesn’t want his family to worry about him, especially the kids.  So he tries very hard to seem okay, but sometimes it’s just exhausting.  The only thing that keeps him going when he is particularly exhausted is the fear of how his family would react if they knew what was really going on in his head.

When Mirabel asks him to join her, Camilo, and Luisa on a hike, he feels happy to be included…but exhausted at the very idea of it.  Sleep last night was not the best, so his mood is definitely subpar.  Usually their hikes last for a good part of the day, including a break for lunch. He reasons with himself that hanging out with his sobrinos might cheer him up.  He tries to ignore the nagging little voice reminding him there’s not a lot of opportunity to go off alone if he gets overwhelmed.

“That’s a blue-billed curassow,” Luisa points out.  Since she started taking more time to relax, she’s started getting into birdwatching.  She spends the majority of their hikes pointing out the various birds she sees, which Bruno finds he really enjoys.

Camilo starts to say something, but Mirabel elbows him.  "So, Luisa, do you know what that one is?"  Mirabel asks her sister, pointing.  

Luisa squints.  "I think that's a saffron finch.  It's a little hard to see from here."  She smiles at Mirabel before she continues walking.  Bruno sees a proud look cross Mirabel's face, and he feels a swell in his chest. They may not have seen him, but he saw them all the time when he was in the walls.  He saw how hard they worked, and how little time they took for themselves.  It's wonderful to see Luisa enjoying something that has nothing to do with her gift, and to see Mirabel supporting her sister.  With Luisa talking about finches, and Mirabel telling them now about a babysitting adventure she had last week, he can almost forget about his duty to the community, and his "gift."  He tries to keep his mind on what's going on in front of him, to drink it all in.  Every so often Luisa points out a different bird to her sister.  Camilo cracks jokes, but turns red when his cousins giggle about him tripping over a rock.  Bruno doesn't put much stock in perfection, but the day has been pretty great so far.  These moments, when he's able to really feel how much he loves his family, are what keep him going at times.  

"You doing okay, Tío?" Camilo calls back to him, and he realizes that he was so lost in thought that he'd fallen behind.  He jogs to catch up.

"Claro que sí," Bruno tells him with a wave of his hand as he falls back into step with his sobrino.  

"Muy bien, viejo," Camilo tells him with a wink and a grin. 

"Should we stop and eat?" Mirabel calls back, a little out of breath.  Before anyone can answer, Luisa has moved a few boulders around a larger one.  "Aw, Luisa, it looks like a little table and chairs," Mirabel singsongs. 

Luisa flushes.  "Would you just sit?"

At first, they eat in silent, just listening to the sounds of nature.  

"So, Tío," Mirabel starts casually.  Bruno feels a pit of dread in his stomach.  She's up to something.  "How are you doing?"

"Fine," he answers warily.  "And you?"

"Great, great," Mirabel waves her hand as she answers, and for a moment she reminds him of Pepa.  "So, how are things with you and Señorita Amelia?" she asks innocently. 

Bruno pretends not to notice the Look Luisa gives her sister.  However, he gives Mirabel a Look of his own.  "Subtlety is not your strong suit, kid."   Camilo chuckles, and Mirabel elbows him again.

"It's just...well, you've been seeing her for awhile, and we all really like her."  Mirabel pauses, but when he remains silent she continues.  "I was just wondering....well..."

"She wants to know if you're going to get married," Camilo chimes in helpfully.  When Mirabel glares at him, he says "what?" around a mouthful of food.  He swallows.  "You've been talking about it all week, and it seemed like you were having trouble just asking the question."  

Bruno feels a little sick, and he knows he can't talk about this with his sobrinos.  "We don't have any plans," he answers apprehensively, hoping that will be enough.

"But Tío, aren't you going to...?" Mirabel starts.

He starts shaking his head.  "No, no, I don't think we should talk about this."  

"But Tío," MIrabel protests.  "We love you, and we just want you to be happy.  And you..."

"Mirabel," Bruno interrupts.  "I love you, too.  But I really don't want to talk about this."

"But if you just - "

"I said no, Mirabel," Bruno says a little more forcefully.  His sobrina looks hurt, and he would try to fix this, but he doesn't know how.  He doesn't want to hurt her, but he doesn't want to talk about this.  He can't talk about this.  He feels a prickling sensation behind his eyes, and he stands up and stalks off.  

"Tío, wait," Mirabel tries.

He pauses, but doesn't turn back around.  "I'll-" he swallows, and tries to keep his voice steady.  "I'll be back in a minute."  He can barely hear his voice over the one in his head, the one that is condemning him for hurting Mirabel while reminding him that he'll never be good enough for Amelia to stay.  He walks far enough away that he is reasonably confident that the kids won't see him, and he wipes his eyes.  He stays out of their sight, and waits until he stops feeling like he could start really crying before he heads back.  

Mirabel seems glum on the walk back.  Bruno feels like all of his nerves are raw, and it's an entirely different experience on the way back.  Bruno's inner voice pops up every so often, telling him that this is his fault, that he ruined the day, that they'll probably never ask him to come along again.  He's keeping it together, but his eyes burn at times, and he's glad that he's sweating just in case any other liquid decides to travel down his face.  He wants to apologize to Mirabel, but he's afraid that she'll try to talk to him about it again, and he'll cry, and the kids will see and worry, and they'll still never want to invite him again because he's a wet blanket.  

He stays quiet, and tries not to drown in his shame.  

When they get back home, he gets into the shower, turns it as hot as it will go, and he lets himself cry.  

Chapter 29: Amelia Gets Sick

Bruno is thankful that no one has brought up the conversation on their hike again. Mirabel hasn’t been spending much time with him since, and he feels sick with guilt whenever he thinks about how he spoke to her.  Camilo is being…Camilo, which helps distract him at times.  Luisa seems to understand more than he might like (she's always been perceptive), but she also doesn't really pressure him with questions.  

He throws up from nerves before he finally goes to talk to Mirabel.  He hesitates by her door, and he almost turns and walks away more than once before he forces himself to knock.  

"I'm sorry," he blurts out as soon as she opens the door.  She looks at him in confusion, and he starts to wonder if he's misread everything.  Then a look of realization dawns across her face.  She smiles at him kindly.

“It’s okay, Tío.”

“No, it’s not,” he sighs. He stands there awkwardly, looking down at his feet and his stomach still in knots.

“Do you want to come in?” Mirabel asks him quietly.  He nods, and follows her inside.  She sits on her bed and moves her embroidery over for him to have a seat.

Bruno sits beside her, and they are both silent for a moment before he speaks.  “I wasn’t mad at you.”  He keeps his eyes down.  “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Mirabel tells him, then pauses.  “I guess I just didn’t understand.”

Bruno rubs his eyes, sighing.  “I know.”

“I thought Señorita Amelia made you happy,” Mirabel says cautiously.

“She does.  It’s not…I don’t know how to…” Bruno wants to explain, but he also doesn't.  He feels himself getting frustrated at the words that won't come, at the situation, but mostly at  himself.  He doesn't understand why things that seem so easy for others can be so very hard for him.   

“I just figured that at some point you’d want to get married.”  Mirabel smiles softly.

“It’s not that I don’t…”. Bruno shakes his head, huffing out a frustrated groan.  His mind runs in circles.  He takes a deep breath, pausing, and decides to tell Mirabel the only thing that he knows for sure.  "I’d be honored if she wanted to marry me, cariña," he says softly.  "I don’t want you to think it’s that.”

“Then what is the problem?”  Mirabel asks him gently, resting her hand lightly on his arm.  She reminds him so much of Julieta sometimes.  He doesn't want to burden her, and he knows he shouldn’t really tell her everything.  She’s growing up, but she’s still a kid, after all.  

“I’d be afraid to ask her,” he admits finally, still avoiding eye contact.

“Why?” 

He groans.  “Mira…”

“It just seems like she really loves you.”  She nudges his shoulder with hers.  “And I don’t think most of us would mind having another tía.”  His stomach flutters at that.  He feels a surge of hopefulness, but he tries to push it back down.  He can't let himself go down that road.  He can't.  If he lets himself believe that she could really love him that much, to tie herself to him for the rest of their lives?  God, he wants it so much...but at the same time it will break him when she decides that she's had enough.  He chews on his lower lip, and he wrings his hands, mind spinning and emotions all over the place.  He's aware of Mirabel sitting there with him patiently, and he wants to reassure her that he's fine, but he feels inches away from a panic attack.  

He breathes, and he swallows hard, and he eventually is able to mutter out a "Thanks, kid.”  He stands up, and he starts walking toward the door.  Mirabel calls out to him, and he pauses, eyes on the ground.  He looks at her out of the corner of his eye, and she looks like she wants to say more.  He is relieved when she just crosses the room and gives him a hug before he goes.

The next morning at breakfast time, he's exhausted.  He spent a lot of the night laying awake and staring at his ceiling.  He's glad that he and Mirabel are okay, but he still can't get their conversation out of his mind.  He makes a beeline for the coffee as soon as he gets downstairs. 

He loves all of his sobrinos, with all of his heart, but he suppresses a groan when Dolores pulls him over to the side before he can grab his coffee.  “Tío, you may want to go visit Srta Amelia.  It sounds like she’s sick.”  Suddenly, his coffee is forgotten.  Dolores looks at him, and he realizes that his alarm must show on his face.  "I don't think it's anything to worry about, Tío," she assures him.  "It sounds like just a cold.  But maybe take an arepa just in case.  I’ll tell Abuela where you went.”  She hands him one, and he thanks her before hurrying off.

When he gets to her home, he can hear her coughing before she even opens the door.

“Bruno, you shouldn’t be here.”  She starts coughing, and his stomach drops.  He feels a sting of rejection, chastising himself for not thinking about whether she’d actually want him here.  Estúpido.  He feels his face burning, and he’s just about to leave when she continues, “I don’t want to make you sick.” 

He feels relief flood through him.  "I’m not worried about that,” he tells her.  She smiles weakly at him, and starts to open the door but doubles over coughing.  He reaches out to steady her when she stands back up.  “Come on, corazón.  Let’s get you back lying down."  

She walks back toward her bedroom, and he hesitates for a moment.  He hasn’t been in there before, and he’s not sure if she wants him to follow.  But she’s still holding onto his arm for support, so he walks her all the way in.  He helps her get settled in bed.

“It doesn’t always work for illnesses like it does for injuries, but I brought one of Julieta’s arepas.”  He hands it to her.  She takes a very small bite and sets it down on the table next to her.  “Here, let me get you some water.”  Bruno hurries into the kitchen, and brings her a glass back.  She gives him a grateful smile before taking a drink.  After she drinks, she starts coughing again, and before he can second-guess himself he sits beside her and pats her on the back.

She rests her head on his shoulder, and he tenses.  “Would you be able to stay for awhile?” She asks him.  “I understand if you need to go.”  He shifts awkwardly.  He actually wants to stay, but he doesn't want to overstep, and he doesn't know if she really wants him to stay or if she's just being kind.  He's worried about her, and he doesn't want to leave her alone.  And to be honest, he'd spend just about every minute with her if he could.  But then there's gossip, and how it might look to other people.  He doesn't want to hurt her.  And again, his mind spins back to the fact that he doesn't even know if she actually wants him or is just trying to be polite.  He feels his anxiety climbing as she waits for an answer.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," she tells him hesitantly, and initially he hears that as confirmation that she doesn't actually want him there.  He was expecting it, but it still hits him like a punch in the gut.  He feels her hand rest on his arm, and he looks at her.  "I would like you to stay with me," she says a little more firmly.  He knows she probably went through his embarrassing emotional whirlwind just now, and his neck feels warm.  "I just didn't want to pressure you, is all," she says, voice small.  "If you can, and if you want to, I'd love for you to stay."

“Of course.   Um... do you want me to stay here, or go to the living room...um...or...?" he stammers.

 She slides over a little.  "I'd like you to stay in here, with me, if you're comfortable," she answers cautiously.  He slides his shoes off, and he inches toward her, lifting his feet up.  It feels both so awkward and so intimate as he settles into her bed next to her.  He adjusts the pillows a little so he can stay sitting up. She leans over and snuggles into his chest, and he puts his arm around her.  He feels tense, and kind of scared, but he also feels…he’s not sure exactly, but it reminds him of when he held his sobrinos when they were very young, and of the few times when he had to scare off jerks before Pepa found Félix.

“Thank you,” she murmurs into his chest.  He kisses the top of her head, smoothing her hair.  It’s not long before she falls asleep, and he shifts a little, trying to get more comfortable without disturbing her.  He smiles, watching her sleep.  She’s snoring a little, and he wonders if she always does or if it’s just because she’s sick.  He gently moves her hair out of her face, and he tries not to worry when he can feel that she’s a little feverish.

Eventually he dozes off.  When he wakes up, Amelia is curled up into his side, head on his chest and an arm around his waist. He blushes when he realizes that her leg is draped over his, and he tries to shift just a little without waking her. Her face is flushed with fever, but she looks serene and so beautiful.  He leans down and kisses her near her temple, and he feels overwhelmed for a moment by how much he loves her.  It occurs to him that he'd be happy waking up like this every day for the rest of his life.  Immediately following that thought is the fear of losing her, and how nothing this good ever lasts.  And it hurts, deep in his chest.  He tightens his arm around her a little, and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly.  He tries to focus on being just in this moment, and not worrying about the next.  

***

Amelia wakes up feeling warm and comfortable.  Her head still aches, but she's feeling a little better.  It takes her a moment to realize that she's curled up on top of Bruno.  She was afraid to ask him to stay with her, and she didn't want to make him sick.  She's used to dealing with sickness alone, but it felt really, really nice to have someone actually show concern and care for how she felt.  She's never had anyone check on her when she was sick, or help her get into bed, even when she was very young.  And she'd realized that she didn't want him to go.  It's hard to actually ask for what she wants though; it's hard enough to ask for just what she needs.  She would have backed down, and given him an excuse to leave, but (even with as ill as she felt) she recognized that his emotions were anxious, not upset or put-out.  

So, scary as it was, she asked him to stay.  

When she breathes in, she can smell a faint aroma of sand on his ruana, and she can hear his heartbeat through his chest.  It's soothing, and with his arm around her she feels safe in a way that she's not really sure how to describe.  She looks up at him, and the expression on his face looks so peaceful that it warms her heart.  She can hear him snore just a little, and she smiles as his chest rumbles softly.  She hugs him a little tighter, and she thinks she sees a small smile on his lips just before she snuggles into his chest and falls back asleep.  

The next time she wakes up, it's a little less peaceful.  She wakes with a coughing fit, and she tries to keep quiet but it's no use.  Bruno wakes up, and he immediately looks concerned.  He rubs his hand on her back, and she can feel his chest vibrate as he murmurs to her.  

"It's okay, mi vida," he soothes.  "There you go."  When she finally stops coughing and looks up at him, he reaches over for her glass of water and hands it to her.  She takes a drink - it's warm, but it still lessens the feeling of knives in her throat.  "Can you go back to sleep, cariña?"  He hugs her to him as she lays her head back against his chest.  She feels him smooth her hair out of her face, and he hums a little bit to her.  He keeps stroking her hair as he sings Luna lunera under his breath, and it's sweet and endearing even though he's incredibly off-key.  She doesn't want this moment to end, but it calms her so much, and she's still so tired, that it's not long before she falls asleep again.

She’s disappointed that the next time she wakes she is alone.  She’s sure that he must’ve had other things to do, and he probably didn’t want to wake her.  But still, it stings.  She stretches, groaning.  She feels much better, but her muscles are all stiff.  When her bedroom door suddenly opens, she jumps with a yelp.

“Sorry!  Sorry, sorry,” Bruno blurts out.  He had startled as well, but he manages to steady himself without dropping what he was carrying. His ears turn a bit red.  “I made you some ajiaco.”

That’s actually…very sweet.  “You made me soup?” she asks him, smiling.

He turns a little more red.  “I figured you needed to eat, and I always used to make it for Julieta when she was sick.”  He chuckles nervously, setting down the bowl on the table beside her.  “You know how it goes, no one ever heals the healer.  I figured maybe it would help her get well sooner.  It’s silly, I know.  But…”

“It’s not silly at all,” she says gently.  “Thank you.”  

Bruno beams, and his face lights up for a moment.  He sits with her and tells her about his latest telenovela ideas while she eats.  She’s not sure if it’s the soup, the company, or both, but she does feel much better.  By the time Bruno leaves that evening, she’s feeling almost like her usual self.  

Chapter 30: And So Does Bruno

Summary:

IMPORTANT NOTE: the last chapter (29) has been edited quite a bit since it was posted yesterday. This one is under construction.
TRIGGER WARNING: Bruno feels horrible, and makes some suicidal statements while he's not feeling well.

Bruno knows the next days will be unpleasant when he wakes up with a scratchy throat.  He saw it coming (without his gift); he had gone to Amelia's to check on her, and make sure she ate, each of the last few days.  The first couple, he spent the entire day there, mostly laying in bed and holding her while she rested.  On those nights, he dreamed of nothing but her.  Yesterday, he'd felt terrible about being unable to stay with her, but he also felt that he had been neglecting his duties in the village.  He apologized probably twenty times by the time she shooed him out her door, and the entire way into town he cursed himself for how afraid he still is to disappoint his mamá.

He doesn't want to make his familia sick, so he decides quarantining is best.  They probably won't notice anyway, he reasons.  He's been away for most of the last few days, and he's not exactly a social butterfly to begin with.  Dolores has plans with Mariano today, so she won't be likely to hear him.  He figures that he can probably get the rats to help him sneak some food if necessary, but he's used to going without much food at times and his stomach is queasy anyway.  He reads a little, until his head feels like it is stuffed with cotton.  When his left eye starts to throb, he goes to sleep and prays that he won't wake up with a migraine.  

Of course he gets a migraine. 

He wakes up with not only the aforementioned migraine, but also with a fever.  The combination is far from ideal.  He turns over trying to get comfortable, but his head throbs and his stomach reels.  He coughs, and the jarring sensation to his head almost makes him wish for death.  He cries a little from the pain, but he tries to keep it together so the headache won't get any worse.  His tears feel like lava as they run down his face, and how is he on fire and still freezing?!?!?

He hates being sick.  That was probably the only benefit to living in the walls.  He may have gotten sick for a lot of reasons: anxiety, malnutrition, maybe a little zoonotic illness now and again, but he never, NEVER, got a cold when he was in the walls.  He still had the migraines at times, but dealing with a migraine by itself was nothing compared to the absolute hell he feels like at the moment.  He's glad he hasn't eaten anything, because he would definitely be throwing up.  And if he is going to cough and throw up while he has a migraine, he might as well climb up his tower and throw himself off.  He moves as slowly as possible to lay down, and he tries to sleep. 

He wakes up to someone pressing a cold washcloth to his face, and he's miserable but God does it help and he can't keep himself from making an embarrassing keening noise.

"Shhh, it's okay, amor," he hears Amelia whisper.  "Casita let me in.  I knocked, but you were completely out."  Before he can think twice, he reaches out in the direction that he hears her voice coming from, and she slips her hand into his.  He pulls her very gently toward him, and he feels her sit on the bed next to him.  He's freezing but sweating, and even though his hair is damp and probably disgusting right now, she runs her fingers through it lightly.  Later, he'll blame it on the fever, or on how crappy he feels...she touches him so tenderly, like he deserves to be loved and cared for, and he just starts to cry.  He turns toward her, curling in on himself.  "¿Querido, qué pasó?"  His head burns, and it hurts, and he can't stop crying.  Fantastic.  "Do you want me to lay down with you and hold you?" she asks him uncertainly.  He tries to say yes, but he can't get the words out.  He ends up nodding his head as slightly as possible...which hurts, but it seems worth it when she lays next to him and put her arm around him.  He rests his forehead against her chest, sniffling and with hot tears streaming from his eyes even as they remain closed.  Eventually he drifts back to sleep.

When he awakens again, it takes a moment to reorient himself.  He feels warm finally, though he's pretty sure his fever hasn’t gone anywhere.  His head throbs , and his left eye is watering, and he still feels terrible.  He opens his eyes, and they widen as he realizes that he is completely wrapped around Amelia.  Both of his arms are wrapped around her; he's half on top of her, and one of his legs is draped over hers while the other is tangled between her legs.  He's glad that he's flushed with fever, because there's no way that he's not blushing.  He anxiously lifts his head from her chest.  

"Hey," she says, and he winces.  "How are you feeling?"

"Migraine," he rasps out.

"Oh! Sorry," she lowers her voice to a whisper.  "Does Julieta's food help with migraines?"

"Usually," he admits.

"Have you eaten anything?"

"Not exactly."  Probably would have been a good idea, but he can't exactly go get something at the moment.  And he hasn't had the energy to try to explain it to the rats.  He's not even sure that he could actually keep it down, and he's pretty sure that it only works if it goes to his stomach and stays there.  She gives him a Look, then starts to untangle herself from him.  He lets out a low whine when she pulls away.  Of course she's going to leave.  Why would she stay?  He feels her kiss him on the top of his head and he looks up in surprise.

"I'm going to go get you something.  I'll be right back."  

***

Amelia heads down to the kitchen to try to find something  She hopes that, if nothing else, Casita can help her find something of Julieta's.  Bruno looks more miserable than she's ever seen him.  Your fault, her brain tells her.  He wouldn't be sick if he hadn't spent the last few days doting on her.  She’s relieved when she finds Julieta’s arepa stash, and grabs one along with a glass of water to take upstairs.

When she gets back upstairs, Bruno almost seems surprised to see her, and to be honest it hurts her heart.  She hands him the arepa, and he looks at it skeptically before forcing down a small bite.  He almost immediately looks a little less green, though his eyes are still glassy.  She reaches out to check his forehead for fever, and he closes his eyes.

”Migraine better?” He nods.  “That’s good, at least.  You still feel like you’re about to burst into flames though.  Do you think you can sleep?”

He nods.  “Probably.”  He hesitates.  “Would you…um…would you stay with me?” He sounds afraid that she’ll say no, and she can feel his uncertainty.

When she lays down beside him and wraps him in her arms, all she feels is love.

Chapter 31: Bruno is Recovering

Summary:

I’m not sure about this chapter-thoughts or suggestions are welcome. Thanks for reading!

Trigger warnings: Bruno’s mental health in general, and self worth issues, maybe a questionable suicidal statement.

Bruno Madrigal is a terrible patient.

Of course, he’s generally pretty terrible at self-care, so it kind of makes sense.

Amelia is glad that he feels somewhat better, but he’s still not well and he’s driving her crazy.  He won’t stay in bed and rest, and he keeps saying he has no appetite… as if that’s an excuse not to eat or drink anything for days.  It’s exasperating.  She’s been spending all of her time at Casa Madrigal, only leaving to sleep, because she is completely sure that Bruno will just try to pretend that he’s not sick and hope for the best.

She’s focusing mostly on her frustration at the moment, because the other thing she’s feeling is just incredibly sad.  Bruno did everything he could to take care of her while she was sick, and every time she does even the smallest thing for him she can feel anxiety, uncertainty, and, most of all, guilt.   He doesn’t seem to believe that he deserves to have anyone care for him, and that is absolutely heartbreaking.

Lord help her, she’s pretty sure that he snuck his food to the rats when she turned around just now.  “Bruno, you really need to eat something,” she chastises gently.

“I’m just really not hungry,” he chuckles nervously.  “And Rosie and Maria looked very hungry.”

“I understand, mi amor, but you need your strength to heal.”

He waves a hand dismissively, and almost on cue goes into a coughing fit. She sits on the bed beside him, patting and rubbing his back.

“I don’t know why it’s taking me so long to kick this,” Bruno groans, putting his head in his hands.  “Weren’t you totally fine by day 4?”

“Sí, claro, but I also stayed in bed and let you take care of me, cariño,” she says pointedly.

“I hate staying in bed,” he sighs. “I feel so lazy.”  He coughs again, and winces when he swallows after.

“You’re not lazy, you’re sick.  You need rest to get well.”  

He flops back on the bed with his arm over his face.  She can feel him getting more upset, and she’s not sure what to say or to do.  She reaches over and squeezes his other hand.

“I feel like a burden,” he tells her quietly, still covering his eyes with his elbow.

“You know that you’re not, right?” she asks softly.  When he doesn’t answer, her heart aches. “Bruno…how long have you felt that way?”

He laughs, but there’s no humor in it.  “I don’t remember a time when I didn’t.  I was always the family disappointment.”  He sighs.  “I’m sorry.”  He takes in a breath and holds it, then lets it out slowly.  He sits up, putting his hands in his lap.  “Now there’s a real downer of a conversation.  That topic?” He holds up a thumbs down and blows a raspberry.  “Have you heard any good gossip lately?  I could use some telenovela ideas.”

“Well, the last few days, I’ve just been hanging out with you and Casita, so…no.”  She smiles at him.  “Sorry.”  He waves his hand at that.  They sit in silence, and out of the corner of her eye she sees Bruno stifle a yawn.  “You know, I’m pretty tired,” Amelia tells him nonchalantly.  “Do you think we could lay down together and take a nap?”

“I know what you’re doing,” Bruno says flatly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Uh huh.”  Bruno yawns again.  “Okay, fine.  You win.”  He lays down, scooting over far enough that Amelia can lay down beside him. He puts his arm out tentatively, and almost looks like he wants to pull it back before she lays down, curling into his chest.  He wraps both arms around her and hugs her to his chest.  She can hear his heartbeat, and she puts her arm around his waist, hugging him back.  They are quiet for a few minutes, and she debates about whether or not to say what she really wants to say to him.

Finally she closes her eyes, and murmurs into his chest.  “You are anything but a burden, mi amor.”  She feels him tense, and she turns and kisses where her head was resting before settling back against his chest.  “I love you more than I have words to explain.  And I need you, so much.  Not to do anything.  Just to be here with me.  And to be you.”  She feels his heartbeat pick up speed a bit, and his breath catches.  “And for what it’s worth, when we are with your family?  The only thing I feel from them when they interact with you is love.”  His hold on her tightens just a little, and she feels his breath shudder.  She can feel how much he hurts, but she also felt something shift in his emotions just now.  She keeps hugging him, listening to his heartbeat, while he tries to regulate his breathing. His breath catches painfully, and she feels a shudder run through his chest.  She keeps holding him, and he only loosens his hold on her to wipe roughly at his face.  He keeps one arm around her, and the other covering his eyes. She can feel him wading through his cycling emotions with her gift.

She sits up and looks at him, and she can see tears escaping down his cheeks from underneath his hand.  He’s biting down on his lower lip, which is still quivering. She starts to get a little anxious. “I’m sorry.  I wasn’t trying to hurt you, mi vida.”  His breath catches again as he holds back a sob.  He turns onto his belly, face down on his pillow.  His shoulders shake, and she can’t hear him but he’s clearly sobbing.  She hesitates, then rests her hand on his back.  He tenses, then relaxes a little as she rubs circles on his back.  She’s not sure what to do, and there’s a pit of anxiety in her stomach.  She takes a shaky breath, and then she starts singing “Luna lunera” to him softly.  She doesn’t know if the song has any particular meaning to him, but he has to at least like it a little since it’s what he chose to sing to her the other day.  It takes awhile, but she feels his emotions settle, and his back stops shaking with silent sobs.  He eventually falls asleep, and she kisses him over his shoulder blade before laying next to him.  She strokes her fingers through his curls until she also falls asleep.

***
When Bruno wakes up, he feels stiff and uncomfortable.  He’s glad that Amelia is still asleep, because he’s also kind of embarrassed.  His mental health has never been the best, and he’s no stranger to tears.  However, he’s generally been able to keep them to himself.

To be fair, he’s used to spending a lot of time alone.  And to being able to completely isolate himself whenever he’s upset. Having someone actually come find him when he isolates?  And ask him if he’s okay when he tries to pretend?  That’s all new to him.

Okay, that’s not totally fair, he corrects himself.  His sisters do those things too, some of the time.  But they’ve sought him out less and less over the years, as they’ve gotten busy with husbands and children.  Then he disappeared for a decade, and no one has seemed to know quite what to do with him since then.  He thinks his mother cares, at least on his better days.  But she’s never really understood him, and he’s not going to open that whole can of worms in his brain right now, thank you very much.

His brain seems determined to open cans of worms today, though, because his next thought is about his cuñados.  He pushes that away, too.  They’ve been nothing but kind to him since he returned, but it’s not the same.  He misses how things were before the walls, when they were not just his cuñados but also his friends.  His eyes prick a little.  Nope, done thinking about that for now.

He hates to admit it, but physically he feels a little better since taking a nap.  He knows that he needs to just rest and recuperate.  It’s just so hard.  He has to be able to focus on things, and to keep moving.  When he stops, he gets stuck in his head. Plus, he really does feel lazy when he does nothing; even when he was living in the walls, he would sneak out and clean things when everyone was out.  And when he couldn’t leave the walls, he patched the cracks.  He usually justified sitting and reading because the rats would cuddle up on his lap.  And his telenovelas, much as he loves them, are for the rats as much as they are for Bruno.  The mental stimulation seems to be good for them, and they love the treats and praise that he gives them.  Suffice it to say, there’s not really a lot that Bruno does just for himself.  So someone sitting there telling him to just rest and take care of himself?  It’s not as easy as it sounds.

It’s painful to think about, but he has felt like a burden to his family for so long.  He can’t really remember a time in his life where that awful feeling wasn’t there.  He loves his family more than anything, and certainly a lot more than he loves himself.  He doesn’t know what he would do without them.  But he doesn’t want them to be in his life out of a sense of obligation, so he tries so hard to be useful.  If he can’t do anything for the people he loves, what’s the point of being here at all?

He shakes his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts.

Bruno looks at Amelia, and he can’t help but wonder what is going to finally be the thing that pushes her away.  She doesn’t seem to react to anything in the way he expects…which means, of course, that she doesn’t leave.  He’s so afraid to let himself believe that she might actually stay.  At the same time, he feels like he can’t breathe when he actually thinks about her leaving.  Rock, meet hard place.

He feels a tickle in his throat, and he tries without success to stifle his coughing.

Amelia sits up, and after taking a second to wake up she grabs him a glass of water.  When his coughing settles enough that he can take a drink, she reaches out and touches her hand to his forehead.

“You don’t seem to have a fever, at least.”  She tenderly moves his hair away from his face.  “Are you feeling any better?”

“A little,” he admits.  She gives him a small smile.  He smiles back, but his smile is a bit tense as he wonders how much of his emotions she can feel while she sleeps.  “How…um…how did you sleep?”

“Good,” she grins at him before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.  He closes his eyes blushing.  “Can I get you anything to eat?  Or anything else?”  He shakes his head.  She lays back down, turning toward him.  She reaches for his hand and intertwines her fingers with his.

Bruno feels anxious, but he turns on his side to face her as well.  When he looks in her eyes, he can see so much love there that it almost, kind of, hurts.  He reaches over and touches her cheek, and she closes her eyes and turns into his touch.  She kisses the palm of his hand, and when she looks at him again his heart feels like it’s pounding in his throat.  If he weren’t sick, he’s not sure that he’d be able to stop himself from kissing her.  He looks in her eyes and he feels connected to her in a way that is simultaneously amazing and terrifying.

He doesn’t have to look into the future to know that he’s going to get his heart broken.  But he’ll try to leave that problem to Future Bruno, and soak in as much love as possible today.

Chapter 32: Boys’ Night

Summary:

Hi to all- I am still alive, just dealing with a little writer’s block. This chapter may be revised, but I’m trying to get out of the slump and back into this story. Thank you for your comments and suggestions! And as always, thanks for reading.

Today is “spring cleaning day” at La Casa Madrigal.  Agustín and Félix have always taken charge of many of the household tasks; being the only adult members of La Familia without a gift, they decided they wanted to do more to lessen the burden on their wives.  Agustín used to joke that his gift was interior design, and he seemed to really enjoy making Casita look as nice as possible.  Once Bruno's visions started being seen as...well, less desirable... he found himself joining them in their household tasks more often than not.  Every few months or so, they'd spend all day doing a really deep clean of the entire casa, and then end the day with a guys' night.  Before he left (or more accurately, started hiding in the walls), Bruno loved those days.  The cleaning?  Meh.  But he loved spending the time with his cuñados.  He smiles to himself, thinking of the first time that Félix dragged them out after.  They were all exhausted, but Félix had cajoled them both into going out on the town anyway.  Bruno had groaned, and Agustín had protested, but they'd ultimately given in, and a beloved tradition was born.  While the activities varied, they almost always involved a lot of brotherly bonding and at least a little bit of cerveza.  

Bruno used to actually look forward to it.  He has been trying not to think about how much his relationship with his cuñados has changed.  Maybe they’ll stay busy enough that there won’t be time for awkwardness…a guy can hope, anyway. 

When Félix greets him with coffee, it feels so familiar that Bruno forgets his uncertainty for a moment.  Of course, Félix can put anyone at ease.  Agustín, on the other hand, is almost as awkward as Bruno, in his own special way.  It was actually one of the reasons Bruno had liked him so much, right from the beginning. Now, though?  With so much history between them, it’s actually painful.

Bruno and Agustín manage to spend most of the day avoiding each other or making uncomfortable small talk when they have to be in close proximity.  When they are all three together, Félix chatters excitedly with both of them, constantly trying to drag both into conversation.  Félix seems blissfully unaware of how uncomfortable all of this is, but Bruno knows what Félix is doing.  Félix has always been more perceptive than anyone gives him credit for.

Bruno’s social battery is dead at the end of the day, and he can’t help but groan when Félix starts trying to literally drag both of them out the door for guys’ night.  He really doesn’t want to do this, so it’s confusing when he feels a sting of rejection listening to Agustín’s protests. 

"Félix, we're not in our 20s anymore," Agustín groans.  

"Speak for yourself, bro."  Félix grins broadly.  

"It's been a long day..."

"So we need a long night!"  Félix announces enthusiastically.  He pauses, then looks at both of them pleadingly  "C'mon, bros.  It's been 10 years."

Bruno feels a rush of guilt.  He's the reason it's been 10 years.  

It isn't until they are halfway into town, and the guilt lessens a little, that he realizes Félix is actually an evil genius and knew exactly how to get his way on this.  

Somehow, Bruno doesn't mind.  

In fact, he’s enjoying the company so much that he is able to push away his discomfort when the villagers’ eyes linger a bit too long.  He startles a bit when Félix throws an arm over his shoulder, guiding them all into the tavern, but the contact is not unwelcome.

“¡Tres cervezas, por favor!” Félix calls out to the bartender as they settle at a table.  The bartender smiles and nods, and Bruno inhales then exhales slowly.  Dios bendiga a Félix, he doesn’t stop talking long enough for Bruno to get stuck in his head.  He also keeps trying to involve Bruno directly, mostly asking him for chisme.  

“Félix, I don’t know what to tell you.  I don’t have anything interesting to share,” he huffs, smiling.

“C’mon bro, don’t hold out on me,” Félix pleads.  “You had to hear something juicy.  Or see it?”

Bruno shakes his head.  “You’re terrible.”

Félix groans.  “I know, I know.  But it’s been so long.  And you were always the source of the best chisme in town.”  Agustín looks amused at Félix and his distress, and Bruno half smiles at them both.  No one brings up the elephant in the room.

Until much later, that is.  By that time, Bruno’s started to feel warm and tingly all over, and actually a little bit giddy.

“Bro, how did you do it?”  Félix asks him seriously.  Bruno’s stomach drops the second he realizes where the conversation has turned, and Agustín studies the ceiling.

“I didn’t really feel like I had a choice,” he answers quietly.

Félix scoffs.  “Of course you had a choice.  We could have helped you.”

“And avoid telling Mamá anything for the last 10 years?” Bruno feels his irritation rising.  He gives Félix a pointed look.  “It’s good chisme, ¿verdad?”  Félix looks hurt, and Bruno immediately starts to regret his words.  “I’m…”

Félix waves his hand, cutting him off.  “I know,” he says more seriously.  “But you know you can trust us when it matters, right?”

Bruno’s eyes prick a little.  “Yeah, I know.”  And he does.  He had thought about sharing the burden…but that’s what that vision was.  A burden.  And Bruno’s always been a bit of a martyr.

“I never thanked you, you know,”  Agustín says quietly.  Bruno hears the slight wobble in Agustín’s voice, and mierda his cuñados seem determined to make him embarrass himself by crying in this bar.  Agustín clears his throat before continuing.  “For what you did for my daughter.  Not just the day the house fell.  All that time…” Agustín trails off, shaking his head.  “I don’t know how to thank you, hermano.”

Bruno shakes his head and waves it off.  Because he really doesn’t know how to respond, and if he opens his mouth he’s going to lose the tenuous grip he has on his emotions.

“Ay, I love this song!” Félix suddenly bursts out.  “Come on! ¡Bailemos!”  He claps his hands standing up.  He gives his cuñados a look, and Bruno knows he’s going to have to get out there whether he wants to or not.  He’s usually the last to want to go to the dance floor, and this may be the first time he’s ever gone entirely willingly.

He doesn’t know if Félix could tell, but he had been probably seconds away from breaking down.  He guesses that this was not a serendipitous decision, though, when Félix is unsurprised by Bruno’s lack of resistance.  Bruno also catches sight of Agustín discretely wiping his eyes before standing to join them, and outside of his time with Amelia this is probably the least alone that he’s felt since he went into the walls.

He feels a swell of love for his brothers, but he swallows the lump that forms in his throat.  He has a genuine smile on his face, and he doesn’t even feel that embarrassed by his dancing.

Notes:

Dios bendiga a Félix-God bless Félix

Chisme-gossip

Chapter 33: Serenata

Summary:

Warning: the boys drank too much and may have made some questionable choices.

The morning comes way too soon.  Bruno takes a little bit of consolation from the fact that Gus looks every bit as miserable as Bruno feels.  

Félix on the other hand, despite drinking them both under the table, is somehow as bright and cheery as ever, the cabrón.

Bruno sits at the table, puts his head in his hands, and groans.  Julieta walks over with a pot of coffee and a plate of arepas.  She pours a mug in front of both Bruno and Agustín.  Bruno gives her a weak smile.  He gags on the arepa, but manages to get one down.  His stomach almost immediately settles, and his head stops pounding.

“Bless you, Juli.”  

His sister smiles wryly back at him and pats him gently on the shoulder.  She passes an arepa to Félix, who flashes her a bright smile and eats a bite quickly.   “I’ve half a mind to let you both suffer a little more.  What exactly did you do to my husband last night?” Julieta teases.

“I don’t know what you mean.  We had a great time, didn’t we, Gus?” Félix elbows Agustín, who looks a little green as he forces himself to swallow his bite of arepa.

“I don’t even remember getting back here,” Agustín groans.  He gets another bite down, and starts to perk up a bit.

Pepa sits down, covering a grin with her hand.  “That’s so interesting, Agustín.  Do, uh, do you remember anything, Bruno?”  Pepa gives him am innocent look, and Bruno fills with dread.  He’s not exactly clear on the details of the end of the night either.  

Mierda.

He remembers Agustín tripping on his way inside the door, and the three of them doubled over laughing.

He remembers Félix breaking out tequila, and passing shots around their table.

He thinks he remembers hearing way too much about Félix and Pepa’s love life.

He recalls tearing up telling Gus about how much he loves Amelia.  And then Félix convincing him it was a good idea to…serenade her?

Bruno looks between Félix and Gus as his eyes widen.  No.  Félix chokes on a laugh, and Agustín at least has the decency to look somewhat remorseful.  Bruno claps his hand over his mouth, and his nausea returns full force.

“We didn’t.”  Bruno states this flatly, as if saying it will somehow make it true.  Agustín and Félix glance at each other, and both of them are now holding back laughter.   “Ay, Dios mío, tell me we didn’t.”  This time the words come out as a plea, and Bruno groans, putting his forehead down on the table.

“If you want to be technical, we didn’t.  Félix played the tiple and you did the singing all on your own, hermano.” Bruno feels his face flush even more, and he doesn’t raise his head from the table.

“What did he sing?” Pepa asks Félix conspiratorially.

“Mi razón de ser.”  Bruno hears Félix murmur back to her, and he feels like he could die.

“Ay, Dios, she must hate me today.”  Bruno groans miserably.

“I doubt it hermano.”  Félix elbows him, and he tries not to feel too hopeful.

He hears a knock on the door, he startles.  Julieta opens the door for Amelia, and Bruno’s face feels like it’s on fire.  “Buenos días, mi razón,” she greets him, and Félix starts laughing gleefully.

Bruno stares down at the table, ashamed.  “I’m so sorry, mi vida,” he rasps.  Amelia sits next to him, resting her hand on his arm and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”  She stifles a giggle.  “I thought it was sweet.”  He grins weakly, still overwhelmed with embarrassment and unable to meet her eyes.  “It sounded like you guys were having a great night.”  She kisses him on the cheek, and he blushes, rubbing the back of his neck.

Camilo walks into the kitchen just then, shifts into Bruno, and starts singing “Mi razón de ser.”  The real Bruno is flooded with embarrassment again listening to his nephew’s impression in all its tone-deaf glory.  He hides his face in his hands.

“Camilo, give your poor tío a break,” Julieta gently admonishes.

“Well, I think I’ve had enough breakfast,” Bruno mumbles, getting up from his chair and retreating to his room.

“I was just joking, Tío Bruno!” Camilo calls after him.

 

It’s a little while before Amelia comes knocking on his door.  Casita opens the outer door, and she knocks again on the door to his small bedroom.

“Come on in.”

Amelia enters and sits next to him on his bed.  It’s silent for a moment.

“I’m not upset with you, Bruno,” she tells him softly.

”I’m so embarrassed,” he admits quietly.

”You don’t need to be.”  She squeezes his arm.  “I meant it when I said I thought it was very sweet.  Of all the trouble you could’ve found, you decided to come profess your undying love for me.  That’s not so bad, right?”  He considers for a moment, and feels a tad bit better.

After a brief pause, she speaks again. “I was thinking about going into town for a bit.  Would you like to join me?”

Bruno can think of few things he enjoys less than going into town, though it hasn’t been nearly as bad lately.  He hasn’t had any really terrible news in the last few weeks, and people have seemed to receive his visions with a little more patience than normal.  He glances at Amelia, and when he sees her hopeful expression it occurs to him that there’s no torture he wouldn’t endure to see her smile.  He nods in response to her question, and her face lights up.

When they actually arrive in town, he gets some stares.  However, fewer people than usual are crossing the street to avoid him.  Progress, perhaps?

He feels stronger and more grounded as he focuses on Amelia’s hand in his.  He has a brief flashback of being called “Brujo Bruno” in the schoolyard; he shakes it off, trying to keep his head up.  He feels Amelia squeeze his hand.

They go to lunch together and visit a couple of places (the bookstore and a local artist’s shop) before Bruno feels like he’s had as much of other people as he can handle.

“How do you do it?” he asks Amelia quietly after she smiles and greets their local priest.  She looks at him quizzically.  “Especially with your gift,” he adds, quietly enough that only Dolores would have had a chance of hearing.  “You’re so friendly and cheerful with everyone, all the time.”

Amelia looks contemplative, and takes a bit of time before she answers.  “I don’t know.  I’ve gotten better at letting others’ emotions be like a background noise.  When I can’t do that…I guess I just try to focus on the positives wherever I can.”  She pauses.  “I try to let the more difficult emotions I feel be present without getting stuck in them.  I accept that they’re with me, and then I try to shift my focus to other feelings.”  She nods at a father and daughter down the street, lowering her voice even more.  “For example, from her I can feel this innocent wonder and excitement.  And from her father, I can feel swells of pride and love every time he looks at her.”  Bruno smiles slightly at that, and his mind wanders a bit to his sobrinos.  “When I find a feeling like that, I try to kind of hold onto it in a crowd, and let it be like a beacon I focus on over everything else.”

Bruno thinks this over.  He wants to ask her exactly how she accepts the painful feelings without drowning in them.  Bruno’s expertise has been primarily in stuffing those feelings down as far as they can go, for as long as possible.  When they resurface, he feels like he’s trying to withstand a hurricane while holding nothing but an umbrella.  And that’s just trying to deal with his own feelings, much less everyone else’s.

He wants to ask, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he talks to her about his latest telenovela ideas.  And tries to focus just on the feeling that he gets when she smiles at him.

 

Chapter 34: The Grim Reaper

Summary:

This is a draft, but I feel bad about not posting in so long. Thanks for reading!

Amelia is actually pretty excited today.  Bruno asked her to come with him to his vision cave.

She feels a little guilty about her excitement given how Bruno feels about his visions.  However, other than the Night of Terrible Misunderstandings, she has never seen Bruno have a vision.  It feels like he is letting her in just a little bit more. 

Bruno, as expected, seems less than thrilled about the entire situation.  In fact, he is radiating dread.  She wants to ask him about it, but he’s been giving her one-word answers to pretty much every question she’s asked today, and Amelia doesn’t want to push her luck.  So she follows him in companionable silence as he trudges up to his vision cave, and she watches quietly while he sets up his ritual and lights the sage.

She is in awe as the sand starts swirling around them, and she holds onto Bruno’s hands tightly. She’s obviously not used to interpreting visions, and the swirling images confuse her.  When she’s hit with Bruno’s emotions at the same time, the combination of sensory inputs is overwhelming.  She takes a deep breath, feeling like she might pass out.  When she gathers her bearings, she looks at Bruno again.  His eyes are still glowing, but his face is contorted painfully and he has tears streaming down his cheeks.  His eyes are darting back and forth, frantically searching for something that he clearly isn’t finding.  It feels like the swirling sand is neverending, and Amelia tightens her grip on Bruno’s hands.  She starts to worry as several minutes pass and he grows pale.  The light in his eyes flickers.  Suddenly he lets out a yell of anguish, and then the sand stops and falls.  He lets go of Amelia’s hands to catch the green tablet before it falls.  His knees buckle, and she reaches out to steady him.

Bruno lets himself drop to the ground, setting the tablet beside him before hiding his face in his hands.  Amelia sits next to him, feeling flooded by his despair and her own worry.

She panics when he loses consciousness.

 

When Bruno wakes up, he finds himself wishing it had all been a bad dream.  He knows it’s reality when he registers the panic on Amelia’s face and sees the tablet beside him.

“Gracias a Dios,” Amelia murmurs shakily, drawing Bruno into a hug.  “How often do you pass out from visions, Bruno?!?”

“That was actually the first time,”  he admits.  Amelia pulls back and looks at him.  She puts her hand on his cheek, and he closes his eyes.

“Are you okay, mi amor?” Bruno can hear the worry in her voice, and he sighs.

“I will be.”  He rubs his eyes.  “I just  really wanted to see something different.”  His voice breaks at the end.

Amelia waits a beat, then asks if he’d like to talk about what he saw.  There are a lot of things he’d like, including being free of his “gift.”   He surprises himself when he begins to speak.

“When I was a kid, Señora Rojas was always kind to me.”  He starts, smiling slightly.  “She would scold the other kids if they called me a brujo, and she was one of the few people who never treated me differently after I got my gift.”  He sighs, rubbing his eyes again.  “She’s a kind woman.  A truly good person.”  His voice breaks.  “And I don’t think she’s going to survive the week.”  He bites down hard on his lower lip, trying to keep control.

He completely loses it when Amelia wraps her arms around him again, and he sobs when she whispers “I’m so sorry.”

“She’s expecting her first great-grandchild.”  His voice wobbles as he continues, “how am I supposed to tell her that she’s never going to see that baby?”  Amelia’s grip tightens around him, and he gives up the fight to hold back the sobs in his chest.  Bruno has heard his sisters joke about “ugly crying” before, and he knows that is what he’s doing.  It hurts too much for him to even really register any embarrassment.

He feels like he’ll never stop crying, but eventually he does.

He almost starts again when Amelia offers to come with him to talk to Señora Rojas.

He barely gets inside Sra. Rojas’ home before the tears do start.  And he sobs when Sra. Rojas gathers him up in her arms, just like she’d done once when he was a child.  She shushes him, patting his back, and guides him inside.  Amelia follows, shutting the door gently behind him.

When Bruno finally calms a little, he panics as he tries to figure out what to say.  Sra Rojas doesn’t need Amelia’s gift to see his turmoil, and she sits at the table, gesturing for him to join her.

“It’s okay, Bruno,” she tells him kindly, and his breath catches.  “Tell me, how much time do I have?”

“Maybe a week,” he forces out.  “How did you…?”

“Why else would the village fortune-teller be here, in the state you’re in?”  She smiles and pats him on the arm.

“I tried to find something but I…I…” Bruno trails off helplessly, breath hitching as he wipes his face.  “I didn’t mean to…” he cuts himself off with a sob, and he bites down on his lower lip.  Maldito, he curses himself.  You have no right to cry about this. 

“Now, now, none of that,” Sra Rojas waves her hand.  “You didn’t do anything wrong, child.  I’m an old woman… it’s just my time.”

Bruno feels Amelia rest her hand reassuringly on his shoulder, and he closes his eyes for a moment, trying to collect himself.  “You’re not angry with me?” he asks.

“Of course not,” Sra Rojas chides.  “You’ve given me a gift, Bruno.  Now I have time to prepare.  To make my peace, and say my goodbyes.”

“I’m so sorry,” he chokes out.

“I know you are, querido.”  Sra Rojas pats his arm again.  “You don’t control the future, Bruno.  You’re just allowed to see it.”   Bruno has a flash of memory, and it brings a new wave of tears.  He sees himself sat at this same table with skinned knees, a black eye, and tear-stained cheeks.  And he hears those same words coming from a younger version of the woman at the table with him.  

Sra Rojas slides a plate over to him.  “Here.  Have one of my polvorosas.  You used to love these as a boy.”

He takes one, and takes a small bite.  He can barely taste it.  Sra Rojas hands one to Amelia as well, and she takes a bite.

“Thank you, Señora.  These are delicious.”

“You’re welcome, dear.  Now, both of you, I know you have better things to do than keep an old woman company.”  Bruno starts to protest, but she gives him a meaningful look.  “Anyway,  I think I’ll go visit my daughter today.  It seems I have more to do this week than I’d thought.”  She gives each of them a hug, both a thank you and a goodbye.

Once they leave, Bruno allows Amelia to guide him to her home rather than his own.  She wraps him in her arms as soon as her door closes, and it’s only a second afterward that he starts to cry again. 

Chapter 35: A Wedding is Coming…

Summary:

This one is kind of a draft, too.

Amelia hadn’t truly realized, despite all their conversations, the scope of the burdens of Bruno’s gift.  She had to try very hard to keep herself together at Señora Rojas’ house.  Bruno had enough to worry about without trying to suppress his emotions for Amelia’s benefit.  She’s glad that she went with him, but it was not the easiest day.

Señora Rojas, did, in fact, pass before the end of that same week.  They had a funeral service, and Bruno had been afraid he wouldn’t be welcome.  Amelia held his hand through it, and she felt his pain ease a bit when Señora Rojas’ daughter talked about how much she valued their last week together.  Apparently the older woman spent the entire week doting on her grandchildren and reminiscing with her adult children.  They had laughed and cried together, and it was “almost as if she knew what was coming, and gave them the perfect goodbye.”

Amelia has a very hard time with funerals, but she made it through.  She didn’t get through the day without crying, but neither did many others.  Señora Rojas was loved and respected in their community, and she and Bruno were not the only two who shed tears.

Amelia has also been trying not to panic or hover when Bruno needs to have a vision.  Seeing him pass out cold was one of the most terrifying moments of her life.  She doesn’t like to even think about what it would be like if she lost him.  She has mostly been able to keep her anxiety in check, and she’s been grateful the rest of the time that Bruno doesn’t really seem to mind her presence.

In happier news, Mariano and Dolores finally became officially engaged.  Bruno apparently knew it was coming, and managed to keep it a secret until the news was out, even from Amelia.  Once she found out, it made a lot of sense why she’d felt so many cheerful feelings from Bruno in the preceding days.

She’s also felt longing, and it’s been hard to differentiate whether those feelings have belonged to her or to Bruno.  She doesn’t want to get her hopes up.  It’s silly for her to get caught up in wedding fever, and she doubts that they will ever get there.  But sometimes at night she dreams about Bruno asking her to spend her life with him.

She feels like he’s let her in more; he has let her see the burdens of his gift, which she knows required a huge amount of trust.  He still seems surprised at times when she doesn’t run away, though.  She wishes she knew how to let him know that she’s here for good, for as long as he’ll have her.  She smiles as she thinks about him serenading her a few weeks ago.  He’d been mortified when he sobered, and seemed oblivious to the fact that it just made her love him even more.

She misses him when he’s away, even for a little while.  She’s terrified of the day that it ends.

Today, though, she told Dolores she would come over and talk about wedding plans.  And if she happens to run into Bruno, even better.

“Hola, Casita,” she greets the Madrigal home on arrival.  Casita welcomes her in, and she finds Dolores at a table looking at a notebook.  Dolores glances up and smiles at Amelia.

“I’m trying to make a list of everything that needs to be done,” Dolores explains.  “There’s so much.  It’s a little overwhelming.”  Dolores turns a page and grins, pointing out watermarks.  “And every time I try to go over these things with Mamá, she starts raining.”

Amelia stifles a giggle.  “How can I help?”

“I really just need someone to sit with me and listen, to tell me if I’m missing something,” Dolores explains. “No pressure.  I know Mamá will go over this list a hundred times anyway.  It’s just to get started.”

And so, Amelia sits with Dolores making a list of everything from dresses to las arras.  It seems like Dolores has (unsurprisingly) put a lot of thought into this anyway, so the task ends up being pretty easy.  When Dolores thinks they have everything, she pauses and looks at Amelia slyly.

“Maybe we’ll be doing the same for your wedding soon, tía?” Dolores asks innocently.

Amelia blushes, shaking her head.  “I don’t think so.”

“But la serenata!  He serenaded you!”

“He was drinking,” Amelia shakes her head.

“That doesn’t mean that he didn’t mean it,” Dolores argues.

“His judgment was impaired.”

“I mean, he hid in the walls for 10 years.  His judgment doesn’t have the best track record,” Dolores jokes.  “Sorry,” she squeaks when Amelia bristles.  “But he loves you.  It’s so sweet.  His heart starts beating faster any time someone even says your name.”

Amelia turns even redder.  When she doesn’t answer, Dolores’ expression turns serious.  “Please don’t break my tío’s heart.”

“I would never hurt him on purpose.”

“You will hurt him if you’re not serious about a future with him.” Dolores shakes her head, and Amelia can feel her getting upset.  “You didn’t see him when you and he had that ‘misunderstanding’,” Dolores continues quietly.  “I’m telling you, it will break him if …” she shakes her head again.

“Dolores,” Amelia confides, “I would love to marry your uncle someday.”  Dolores perks up, and Amelia can feel excitement radiating from her.  “But I don’t think he will ever ask me.  Can you imagine trying to spend every day with someone who can feel everything you can?”  Amelia starts getting upset herself.  “I love Bruno. But to condemn him to a life with someone who can never give him any privacy?  A pariah?”  She feels tears spill down her cheeks.  Dolores starts to protest, but Amelia cuts her off.  “Because that’s what I’ve been, everywhere, eventually.  I’ve been lucky here so far.”  Her breath hitches, and she wipes at her face.  “It’s not going to last.” She takes a deep breath, collecting herself.  Dolores leans over and hugs her suddenly.

“I’m sorry for upsetting you.”

Amelia hugs her back, but can’t really answer without losing her composure.  She gives Dolores a slightly wobbly smile.

“I was thinking red and yellow flowers.  What do you think?”  Dolores asks quietly.

“I’m sure that will be beautiful.”

Chapter 36: Progress

Summary:

IMPORTANT NOTE: I might go back at some point and add chapters between the last one and this one. I have a few ideas for this story but am not sure exactly when I’m their relationship timeline certain things are going to happen. So I am definitely open to suggestions on the timing of this and anything else that might be nice to see, before or after. Also, this chapter is structured a bit differently. Again, open to thoughts/suggestions!

“Bruno, do you remember the first time I met your mother?” Agustín asks.

Bruno snorts, covering his mouth.  “I remember you tripped and covered her in wine.”

Agustín blushes.  “Yeah, and all I could think of was that I had just ruined whatever chance I had to spend my life with the woman of my dreams.”

Bruno winces.  “When you put it that way, the story isn’t as funny.”

Agustín pauses.  “You know, Félix had Alma eating out of the palm of his hand within five minutes of meeting.  He’s charming, he calmed Pepa’s storms…you’ve met the guy.”  Agustín grins at him, then sighs.  “Anyway, it wasn’t so easy for me.”

“Gus, I don’t mind a good walk down memory lane, but why…?”

“I know what it’s like to feel like you’ll never be good enough for the one you love, hermano.”  Bruno’s blood runs cold, and he fidgets uncomfortably before Agustín continues.  “I didn’t think I would ever get up the courage to ask her to marry me,” Agustín tells him, smiling softly.  “And I wake up every day thanking God that somehow your angel of a sister truly loves me.  I also thank Him every day that I finally managed to take the risk.”

Bruno swallows hard, then opens his mouth and closes it again.  It takes a few minutes before he gathers his thoughts into words. “You know, my situation is not the same as yours.”

Agustín gives him a sympathetic look.  “Maybe not.  But I can see it in her eyes, when Julieta looks at me…how much she loves me.”  He smiles fondly before continuing.  “And I see the exact same look in Amelia’s eyes when she looks at you.”  Agustín stands up, clapping his hand on Bruno’s shoulder before he walks out. 

Bruno stews on that for awhile.  In fact, he thinks about it multiple times a day over the next week.  He daydreams about what it might be like if she actually said yes.  About marriage, and possibly children.  About building a life with someone he can’t live without.

Every time, though, he gets hit by a wave of terror.  Agustín has to be wrong.  Amelia can’t love him that much.  How could she? Why would anyone choose to build their life with a walking curse?

Still, he starts to allow a tiny part of himself to hope.  And he has marriage on his mind when he goes to visit Amelia at her home.  But he has no intention of taking that risk to actually ask her.  He’s terrified.  So he tries to push those thoughts away.

They’re sitting together on her sofa, and he can’t take his eyes off of her.  He tells her telenovela ideas, and she lights up listening to him. She sits calmly with him when he needs a moment to collect his thoughts. She laughs at his jokes.  She looks at him with love in her eyes. 

Suddenly Bruno is overcome by how much he loves her.  He looks at her, and he blurts it out before he can stop himself.  “Marry me,” he says quietly. 

Amelia freezes, and the smile dies on her face.  “Are…are you serious?”

By the end of her question, her voice sounds like he’s hearing her from underwater.  His heart is pounding all the way into his ears, and his throat is tight.  And he does the only thing he feels like he can do.

He runs.

 

 

Bruno takes off running, and Amelia is still sitting in shock for a moment.  It takes a second to sort through the Mack truck of emotions she just got hit with, and as soon as she has had that second to process, her stomach drops.  She takes off after him, silently cursing herself.

He was serious.  She felt it.  And she may have just totally blown it.

If she had known he meant it, really meant it, she would have immediately said yes and jumped into his arms.  But she was scared, and she thought maybe he was just being flippant, and now she’s hurt him.  She felt more hurt from him just now than she thinks she has ever felt, and she’s terrified of what will happen now.  All she knows is that she has to find him.  

Bruno can’t breathe.  He needs to keep running, he can’t stop, but he also can’t breathe.  He feels so stupid, doesn’t know how he thought she could love him enough to…

He gasps in a painful breath.  He stumbles, eyes blurring with tears, and he keeps running.

 

Amelia runs after Bruno in a panic, trying to find him but she has no idea which direction he went.

She’s almost given up, despairing, when she realizes that she might actually be able to use her gift to find him.  She usually can’t feel people from a distance, but she and Bruno are close enough that it might actually work.

She takes a deep breath, grounding herself.  She can’t feel him if her own emotions are overwhelming her.

It takes a lot of effort to get her emotions to calm, and she gets frustrated with herself more than once.  But finally, she thinks she feels Bruno.  Now she just has to move in the direction that strengthens her connection to his feelings.  And to hope that he will forgive her…both for what started this whole mess and for using her gift to find him.

When Bruno can’t run anymore, he collapses.  His chest is tight, and it burns.   He wants more than anything to keep running, but he can’t.  All he can do is sit there on his knees, trying to breathe, while tears run down his face.  Gasp in, sob out, repeat.  He can’t believe he did that.  He messed everything up.  God, it hurts.  

He startles when he hears a twig snap, but he doesn’t even have the energy to look at who it is.  He feels the person approach, and jumps when a hand lands on his shoulder.

Amelia crouches down next to him.  He can’t bear to look at her, and he can’t stop sobbing, so he hides his face in his ruana.

“Bruno…” she whispers brokenly. “I’m so sorry.”

He cries harder.  Now she’s trying to let him down easy, and it might hurt as much as if she’d been angry.

“I didn’t know if you were serious, if you meant it, at first…”. She swallows, voice breaking.  “And I never meant to hurt you.”  She pauses, crying too.  Bruno’s heart is completely shattered.  “And I didn’t even get to tell you ‘yes’ before you ran.”

Wait, what?

”Yes, Bruno.”  Did he say that out loud?  “I want to marry you.”  She lets out a wet chuckle.  “If you even still want to marry me after this.  I used my gift to find you, by the way.”  He wipes his face before dropping his ruana, still afraid to look at her, afraid to believe that this is real.  Did he hit his head when he fell?

“You want…”

“Yes.  I want to marry you.  If you still want me.”

Bruno lets out a hysterical sounding laugh, and he hugs Amelia so hard that he basically tackles her to the ground.  He’s completely overwhelmed, and tears are coming down again.  But this time, they’re happy ones.

He’s never been this happy in his life.

Amelia laughs, tears running down her face as well.  “So, does that mean you still want me?”

“Yes!” Bruno cups her face in his hands, and he starts to kiss her all over.  “Yes.  Yes.”  He kisses her on the lips, and hugs her close to him again.  He doesn’t want to let go, but he pulls back to wipe his face on his ruana again.  I’m a mess, he thinks. How did I get so lucky?

He can’t stop the happy tears, but Amelia is crying with him, and gently wiping them from his cheeks as they fall.

He doesn’t want this moment to ever end.

Chapter 37: Details and Rings

Summary:

I messed up and hit post instead of save. This chapter may change.

I also don’t know exactly where the story is going to end. I know last chapter could be a conclusion, but there’s more I want to do I think. So it may not end until I stop having fun with it.

Bruno and Amelia stay up in the woods talking all night, cuddling and gazing at the stars. They imagine their future together.  It’s more than Bruno ever dreamed possible, and he’s afraid he might wake up and find it was all a dream.

When the sun starts to come up, he kisses Amelia on the top of her head and hugs her to him. 

“I can’t believe we stayed out all night,” Amelia murmurs sleepily.

“I can’t believe you agreed to marry me,” Bruno replies with a grin.  He feels practically giddy.

”Ditto.”

Bruno swallows hard. He keeps feeling like she can’t possibly know what she’s getting into. “You’re sure this is what you want?”

“More than anything, mi vida,” she reassures him, and he lets out a sigh of relief. 

“I love you so much,” he murmurs, kissing her again.  She snuggles closer into his chest.

“Do you think Dolores heard and told your whole family yet?”

“Actually, I doubt it.  Lola can keep a secret when she wants to,” Bruno tells her.  He feels a wave of anxiety and excitement as he thinks about telling his family.

Amelia sits up, giving him a concerned look.  “You’re sure this is what you want?”  Bruno looks at her like she’s crazy.  She flushes.  “I can feel your anxiety.  Welcome to a life of absolutely no emotional privacy.”

“I spent a decade completely alone,” Bruno reminds her with a mirthless laugh.  “The last thing I need is to just be alone with what I feel.”  He shakes his head.  “I don’t know how you put up with feeling someone else’s emotions all the time…especially mine.  But I’m never going to feel anything but grateful for you, gift and all.”

Amelia reaches over and brushes his hair out of his eyes.  “I’m grateful for you too, mi corazón. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

Bruno sighs.  “You know mi familia is going to start planning the wedding immediately,” he warns.  “If you wanted to wait to tell them, I’d understand.”  He really doesn’t want to wait, but he’s prepared to do whatever will make her happy.

“I’m ready to tell them if you are.”  She kisses him.  “I’d be ready to marry you tomorrow.”

Bruno’s heart soars.

Bruno wants to tell his sisters first, and they can help him and Amelia figure out how best to tell everyone else.  He and Amelia decide to tell them together, and so Amelia invites Pepa and Julieta over to her house for “coffee.”  Bruno, despite his happiness, is a bundle of nerves, worrying about how everyone will react.

Pepa and Julieta are surprised at first when they see Bruno there, thinking they were having “girl time.”  Almost immediately, Julieta has a knowing smile on her face, and Bruno feels a little relief from the anxiety he has been fighting.  Pepa is looking at him curiously as she sits at the table.  Amelia pours everyone cups while Bruno picks at his fingernail nervously.

When Amelia sits down next to him, Bruno opens his mouth and closes it again.  His mouth is dry, and he takes a gulp of coffee.  It burns, and he immediately regrets that decision. After a moment he tries again.

“So, I wanted to… I mean, I wanted to…”  he pulls his hood up.  I’m Hernando, and I’m scared of nothing.  Amelia squeezes his hand.  “We’re engaged,” he blurts out.

Pepa squeals, and a huge rainbow forms over her head.  Julieta is smiling more broadly, and she stands up to give Amelia a hug.   Pepa hugs Bruno first, then Amelia.  They start to feel a little drizzle, and Pepa starts to apologize.

“It’s okay,” Bruno tells her.

Amelia winks at Pepa.  “I needed to mop my floors anyway.  You’re helping.”

Pepa snorts wetly.  “I’m just so happy for you both.”  Julieta’s eyes are bright as well.  Bruno, still smiling, bites his lip and tries to keep from getting emotional with them.

“Any ideas on how to tell everyone else and keep Mamá from going overboard?” Bruno asks with a chuckle.

Julieta scoffs.  “Don’t worry about telling everyone else.  They will all be thrilled, no matter how you do it.  But good luck keeping Mamá from overreacting.”

Bruno groans, then looks at Amelia guiltily.

Amelia laughs.  “Don’t worry, mi vida.  I know how you feel about huge parties.  I’m not taking it personally.”

Bruno sighs, both relieved and also dreading whatever his mother will plan when they tell her.

“Maybe we can get her to skip the serenata and public proposal, and just have a party,” Pepa suggests, and Bruno turns paler at the thought.

Amelia shoots him a glance.  “No serenata,” she says firmly.  She smiles at Bruno reassuringly, then gives him a wink.  “We already had one, and it was perfect.”  Bruno chokes on a laugh, and his sisters look amused.  “And if your mom wants to have a party to announce it, fine.  But I see no reason for us to pretend you haven’t already asked me, or that I haven’t already said yes.”

“I think we can get Mamá to agree with that,” Julieta says.  Pepa nods in support.

They do manage to rein in Alma a little. (Meaning, she agrees to “just” have a party and invite the entire town.)  And Bruno forgets his nerves for a bit when Antonio jumps up and down chanting “we have a new tía.”  His nieces all give Amelia hugs, and Dolores looks relieved not to have to keep this to herself.

Camilo shifts into Amelia.  Bruno gives him a look.  “What?” Camilo asks.  “She’s going to be around a lot more.  I need practice.”  Félix playfully bops him on the head, and Camilo shifts back.   

Even though everyone had been needling him for awhile, Bruno had still been afraid that his family might not approve.  He feels overwhelming relief that they seem to be happy about the match.

He’s not looking forward to the party.  It always struck his sisters as odd, given how much he loves acting…but when he’s just Bruno, he hates being the center of attention.  He gets more anxious about it every time his mother asks him questions about what he wants for food, music, etc.  It’s hard not to look into the future to see if the party goes okay, even though he hates looking into his future.

There’s also a part of him that is still afraid Amelia might come to her senses before they actually get married.  He pushes that thought away every time it comes up, though.  It’s not hard to keep himself from looking for their wedding.  Even entertaining the idea that it might not happen is too painful to give any consideration.

Today they’re picking out their rings…which means that everyone in town will know, very soon.  He’s a little worried about whether or not this will change how the villagers treat Amelia.  So far, no one seems the wiser, as it’s so common for Alma to throw large parties.  However, buying (and wearing) rings will make it obvious.  Even though no one in the village has been cruel to him in weeks, he is still afraid his reputation will affect Amelia’s.

On the other hand, picking out rings is one more step toward starting their life together, and Bruno can’t wait for that.

He holds Amelia’s hand as they walk into town, and he updates her on all of the plans his mother has made.  (He’s asked her several times about her preferences for the party, but she keeps telling him that the details don’t matter to her.)  Bruno is hit by a wave of anxiety when they reach the jeweler’s, and Amelia squeezes his hand reassuringly before they enter.

“Hola, Amelia y Bruno!” Berto greets them.  Bruno smiles genuinely.  Ever since they talked with him about his roof last year, he’s been kind to both of them. “How can I help you today?”

“We’re uh…looking for…um…” Bruno glances around, making sure the shop is empty.  “Wedding rings.”

Berto breaks into a wide grin.  “¡Felicidades!”  Bruno smiles and thanks him, squeezing Amelia’s hand.  “What are you looking for?”

Bruno looks at Amelia, who answers Berto before looking back to Bruno.  “I like gold bands.  What do you like, mi vida?”

“Gold is fine with me,” he answers quietly.  Berto pulls out some rings.  Bruno smiles slightly, taking a guess based on things he’s seen Amelia admire before.  He points at a ring with a larger diamond encircled by smaller ones.  He raises an eyebrow at Amelia.  “Something like this?” he asks quietly.

Amelia breathes out.  “It’s beautiful.”  She starts to say something else, but hesitates.

“Is there something you’d like to change?” Berto asks kindly.  “We can make something specifically for you, if it’s not exactly what you want.”

Amelia blushes.  “I was wondering if we could change the diamond in the middle to something else.”

“What were you thinking?  Sapphire, ruby, emerald…?”

Amelia looks at Bruno.  “Actually, I was hoping maybe to use a small piece of glass.”  Berto looks confused, and Bruno gapes at her. He thinks he knows what she’s asking, but he has no idea why she would want that.  “If i can have a little bit from your vision cave?”  Amelia asks him.

“Why…I mean, I guess, but…why?” Bruno is dumbfounded.

“I don’t have to if it bothers you. Just…your visions are a part of you.  I thought it’d be like having a little piece of you with me all the time.”

Bruno keeps his mouth shut and just nods.  He’s touched by how much she seems to love him.  Do NOT start crying in this shop, Bruno, he warns himself.  Berto smiles at them both.  “I think we can do that.  If you can bring me some glass, Bruno?”  Bruno nods.

From there, the process is easy.  Bruno just wants a gold band that matches Amelia’s. Berto tells him it will take about a week after Bruno brings the glass by the shop for the rings to be ready.

When they leave the shop, Amelia turns to Bruno.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to upset you about the glass.”  She pauses.  “It’s really okay if you don’t want me to do that,” Amelia offers.

Bruno shakes his head, not sure what to say, and it takes him a moment to respond.

“I’m not upset,” Bruno tells her as they walk toward her home.  “It’s just…you really want that?”

“It would make me happy if it’s okay with you.  But if you don’t want me to do that, I’ll understand.  I know how you feel about your gift sometimes.”

“If it will make you happy, that’s all I want,” Bruno answers softly.  “It’s just…” he feels tears prick his eyes, and he takes a steadying breath.  “I never thought anyone would actually want to marry me.  And then you come along, and…” he gives her a wobbly smile, pausing to try to keep his emotions in check.  Amelia squeezes his hand reassuringly.  “And somehow, you not only want to marry me, but -” He clears his throat.  “You also want…” he trails off, voice wobbling and tears threatening to fall.

“Oh, cariño,” Amelia soothes. She stops and gives him a hug, and he hides his face in her hair.  He doesn’t know how to explain to her what hit him so strongly.  He’s just never felt seen, and accepted, the way he does right now.  For once, he finds himself really hoping that she can feel exactly what he feels; he doesn’t know how to put it into words.  She hugs him tightly, rubbing his back.  He wipes his face after he pulls away, and they continue back toward her home in comfortable silence.

Chapter 38: Fiesta

Amelia feels a little anxious about the party.  She’s trying to keep it to herself, because Bruno is anxious enough already.  But being in a huge group of people, in a setting where there’s drinking and emotions may be high?  Could be a disaster in terms of her “gift.”  Although she hasn’t really pushed the Madrigals to keep her secret… she thinks they have, and she’s afraid of how the villagers might react if she does something to reveal it at the party.

She’s getting ready on her own, and trying to stay grounded, while waiting for Bruno to come to pick her up.  She’s wearing her favorite dark green dress, and she spent time “relaxing” today by putting her hair in an updo and weaving flowers into it.  She hears a knock, goes to the door, and smiles when she sees Bruno.  He has his hair pulled back in a low ponytail, and he’s wearing dress pants and a vest similar to Agustín’s usual attire.  Finally, he has a green bow tie, which is close enough in color to Amelia’s dress to match.

And his mouth is hanging open.

He closes it and swallows.  “Sorry.  It’s just…you look so beautiful.”

Amelia blushes.  “You don’t look so bad yourself.”  She grins at him.  He rubs the back of his neck, which is turning red.  “Do you want to come in for a minute before we go?”

Bruno nods, stepping inside while holding his breath with fingers crossed.  He looks sheepish.  “Sorry.”

She kisses him gently on the cheek.  “Don’t be.  It’s okay.”

They sit down together on the sofa.  “I went to see Berto today,” Bruno tells her.  He pulls out a small velvet bag.  Amelia smiles at him as he pulls out her ring.  He shifts nervously.  “I know we kind of already did this part…but I want to do it right.  I love you more than anything, mi vida.  Do you still want to marry me?”

Amelia reaches for his hand.  She can feel his anxiety even before she makes contact.  “Yes, Bruno.  I want to marry you.”  With trembling hands, Bruno slips the ring onto her finger.  “Can I do yours?” Amelia asks.  Bruno lets out a shaky breath and nods, handing her the bag.  “Bruno Madrigal, I am so lucky that I found you.  You are so much more than I deserve, and I am grateful for you every day.”  She pauses, taking a deep breath.  “Do you still want to be my husband?”

Bruno clears his throat, nodding his head.  “Yes.  Always,” he says hoarsely.  His hands are still shaking as she slides on his ring.  She puts her arms around his shoulders, and he circles her waist.  The intensity of love that she feels right now is overwhelming, and she knows she’s connected to Bruno’s emotions as well.  He kisses her, and she’s a little surprised to find that his cheeks are wet. When he breaks the kiss, he rests his forehead against hers.  He lets his breath out slowly.  Amelia reaches up and wipes a thumb over first one cheek, then the other.  Bruno lets out a shaky laugh.  “Im just really happy,” he whispers.

“Me too,” Amelia whispers back before kissing him again.  She sighs, hating to end the moment.  “Should we head to the party?”

“Mmm, five more minutes,” Bruno murmurs before kissing her again.
***

Amelia feels her anxiety, and probably Bruno’s as well, climb as they approach the party.

“Hey!” Félix approaches them, handing each of them a drink.  He gives first Bruno and then Amelia each a one-armed hug.

“Félix started the party without you,” Pepa teases as she greets them both.

“Then I guess I better catch up,” Bruno smiles at them and takes a large drink.  Amelia sips at hers; her gift is easier to manage when she’s sober.

“Just warning you, bro, your mom’s already looking for you,” Félix informs Bruno, who groans and takes another drink.

Amelia looks between them in confusion.  “She’s going to parade us around to meet and greet everyone,” Bruno explains.

Pepa chuckles.  “You knew this was coming, hermanito.”

“Pepa, we’re the same age.”  Bruno rolls his eyes.

“Not in terms of maturity,” Pepa retorts.

Amelia giggles, and Bruno turns to her in mock outrage.  “Et tu, mi vida?”  He clutches his hand over his heart dramatically.

“Bruno,” Alma announces, and Bruno pales a little as she walks up to them.  He stands up straight, quiet.  “Amelia, you look lovely.”

“Gracias, suegra.”

“Both of you, come.   We need to welcome our guests.”  Pepa smirks at Bruno, who looks like he’s about to be put in front of a firing squad.  Amelia reaches for his hand, and he relaxes a little. “Amelia, have you met the Pascales?  Allow me to introduce you…”

As they make their rounds to person after person, Amelia finds herself more and more impressed by Bruno’s acting ability.  He seems fairly at ease (Félix has kept him supplied with drinks, which might be a part of it).  However, even without her gift Amelia would know he was struggling just by the death-grip he’s had on her hand all night.  When Alma finally runs out of guests and releases them, Bruno practically melts with relief.

“Doing okay?” Amelia asks him quietly.

“Much better now,” he answers.

She leans toward him and whispers conspiratorially, “do you think we can sneak off for awhile?”

“God, I hope so,” Bruno whispers back.  “Let’s try.”

They move as quickly as they can, without drawing attention, inside Casita. They run into Julieta on the stairs, and Bruno looks at her pleadingly.

Julieta chuckles.  “You’ve been a good sport so far, I’ll cover for you for a bit.“

Bruno puts his hands together in front of his chin.  “Thank you, Juli,” he sighs in relief.

They manage to get into Bruno’s room without seeing anyone else, and Bruno sags with relief as soon as they’re in the door.  He opens the door to his bedroom, gesturing for Amelia to go first.

She lays on top of his covers, putting her feet up.  She grins at Bruno.  “I love these shoes, but they are not made for comfort.”

Bruno lifts her feet up just a little, sitting at the end of the bed and resting her feet on his lap.  He undoes the buckles of her shoes, and slips them off one at a time before setting them on the floor beside him.  He starts to rub her feet, gently at first and then with a little more pressure.

”Dios mío, that feels so good,” Amelia moans.  Bruno blushes, smiling at her as he continues.

When Amelia is thoroughly relaxed, Bruno moves to lay beside her.  She turns, facing him, and rests her hand on his cheek.  “Thank you,” she says softly, then kisses him.

“You’re welcome,” he answers, kissing her again.  He puts his arm around her, moving his thumb up and down on her back.

“I wish I could stay here all night with you.”

“So do I.”

“How long do you think Julieta can buy us before someone misses us?”

Bruno groans, but he has a smile on his face.  “Probably not much longer, unfortunately.”

“Are you having any fun?”

“I mean, I have the most beautiful woman in Encanto on my arm, so that helps.”

Amelia huffs out a laugh.  “Smooth.”

”I thought so.”  He winks at her, and they both laugh a little.  “It’s not as bad as I expected,” he tells her seriously.  “I mean, I’m not being obviously avoided or whispered about, so that’s positive.”  He gives her a half smile.  “Any day I’m surrounded by people and don’t hear ‘maldito’ or ‘brujo’ is a pretty good day.”

She feels a pang of sadness, but isn’t sure if it’s hers or his.  “You never deserved to be treated that way,” she tells him quietly.

“That’s a matter of opinion,” Bruno mutters.

“Hey,” Amelia strokes his cheek, waiting to continue until he looks at her.  “It’s not a matter of opinion.  You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.”

“I mean, I get it.  Nobody wants to pal around with the bearer of all bad news.”

“Don’t do that,” Amelia murmurs.    “Don’t make excuses for people mistreating you.  You’re a good man, and you deserve better.”  She can feel so many things in the room with them: sadness, loneliness, anger, despair.  She feels how desperately he wants to believe her, and all the painful emotions that make it hard for him to do so.

“When you’ve heard something over and over again, it’s hard not to believe it,” he whispers.

“Then I’m going to have to make it a point to tell you how wonderful you are more often.”

“The bad things are easier to believe,” he confides.  She hugs him, and he hugs her back tightly.

“Then I’ll spend the rest of my life reminding you of all of the reasons I love you,” she whispers in his ear before kissing him on the cheek.

He rests his forehead against hers.  He clears his throat.  “We should probably go back.  I’m sure Mamá has noticed we’re missing by now.”

“Okay.”  She kisses him once more before sitting up and putting her shoes back on.  She stands up, holding her hand out. Bruno puts his hand in hers, standing up to join her.

When they rejoin the party, Alma gives them a disapproving look.  Bruno looks down at his feet, and Amelia can feel his rush of shame.  She squeezes his hand,  guiding him over to Julieta and Agustín.

“Bruno?  Have you got your party pants on?” Agustín teases. Bruno shrugs.  Julieta looks at him, concerned, then at Amelia.  Amelia gives her a half smile, but doesn’t fill Julieta in.  She figures that’s Bruno’s information to tell, if he chooses. 

“Have you two been dancing?”  Amelia asks.

“Only a little. Between the two of us, we’ve got at least 3 left feet,” Julieta jokes, and Agustín tries his best to look offended.  However, there’s laughter in his eyes and Amelia can feel that he is in good spirits.  As opposed to Bruno, who’s been glum since seeing his mother.  Amelia suspects that she’s already gotten over their absence, but Bruno has a much harder time getting over criticisms and disapproval…especially from Alma.  Amelia lets go of Bruno’s hand in favor of wrapping her arm around his waist, hugging him close to her.  He puts his arm around her shoulders.

“Have you managed to drag Bruno onto the dance floor at all yet?” Agustín asks.

Amelia looks up at him and smiles.  “Not yet.  Shall we, Bruno?”

Bruno shrugs, but allows Amelia to lead him to the dance floor.  It’s actually a slow song at the moment, and he holds her close to him.

“Do you want to talk about why you’re upset, mi amor?” Amelia asks him quietly.  Bruno shakes his head.  He’s still making minimal eye contact.  Amelia pulls him a little closer to her, and rests her head on his shoulder.  He feels tense, and she rubs her thumb in circles over his back.  “Just be here with me, okay?” She whispers in his ear.  He does finally look at her, though he looks confused.  “I know what it looks like when you start to get lost in your head, mi vida.  Try to stay here with me, instead, okay?”

Bruno nods, closing his eyes for a moment.  “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she says gently.  “You didn’t do anything wrong.”  She takes a moment, trying to think of how to explain.  “I just don’t want the man I love getting beat up in there.”  She taps his temple gently.  When he opens his eyes and looks at her, she kisses him.

The song ends, and a new one starts.  “I just hate disappointing people,” he admits, voice barely a whisper in her ear.

“I know.  But you’re human.  We all disappoint the ones we love, sometimes.  Even when we try our best.  It’s part of life.”

Bruno shakes his head at her words.  “No, that’s not right.”  He pauses.  “You never…and they don’t…”

Amelia gives him a look.  “Bruno.  I’m sure that I have…that we all have once in awhile.”  She sighs.  “Though you are so used to not expecting anything, from anyone.  Or expecting to be mistreated.  And I know it makes sense, because that’s what you’ve known.”  Bruno swallows hard, avoiding her gaze.  “But that’s so unfair to you.  To have to deal with everyone else’s expectations and not be allowed to have your own.”  He hugs her tighter, hiding his face.

“Don’t make me cry in front of all these people,” he jokes.  But Amelia can feel that he’s not truly joking.

She holds him tighter, and for now doesn’t say anything else.

Notes:

Hi readers. I feel like my idea well has run temporarily dry on this story. If anyone has any prompts or suggestions, I do hope to get back into it at some point but I feel like I've lost the mojo.

Chapter 39

Summary:

Felt like this story needed at least an attempt at an ending...
Sorry it's abrupt. I kind of lost the story. I might try to make it better at some point but for now just wanted to finish.

Thank you all for reading. If anyone wants to adopt this fic in any way for a better ending, I'm happy to have a collaborator.

Amelia is shocked when she gets to Casa Madrigal and sees a thunderstorm indoors.

It makes more sense when she realizes that Bruno and Pepa are arguing, and Julieta is trying to calm both of them down.  Alma is sitting at the table, shaking her head.  When Bruno sees Amelia, his face twists for a moment.  He storms up the stairs, calling out that he is "done with this conversation."

Amelia stands there awkwardly for a moment before Alma nods at her that she can follow Bruno to his room.  When she enters, he is pacing angrily.  He startles when he sees her, but he stops pacing.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Amelia asks him gently.  She can feel his anger, but she can also feel a whole swirl of other emotions.

Bruno opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again and shakes his head. He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.  "I'm tired of everyone always assuming the worst of me," he admits quietly. He gestures for her to follow him, and he enters his smaller room and sits on the bed.  

Amelia sits next to him, reaching over and squeezing his hand.

"We were talking about the wedding," he starts.  "And Pepa brought up hers.  I've told her I was sorry so many times."

"Sorry for what?"

He groans.  "I told her it looked like rain on the day she married Félix.  She blames me for the fact that she spiraled into a full hurricane by the time she said "I do.""  He swallows hard.  "How could she think I actually wanted to ruin her wedding?" His voice is thick now.  "I love her so much.  And Félix.  I would never..."  he shakes his head again, and it takes a moment before he's able to continue.  "Why would she think I would want to hurt her like that?"

"I don't know," Amelia answers honestly.  "Did you ask Pepa?"

"You can't really ask Pepa anything when she's like this," he grumbles.

Amelia huffs out a laugh at that.  "It did seem a little stormy down there.  Have you ever talked about it when you're both calm?"

Bruno laughs at that.  "Have you met me and Pepa?  I'm shocked that you think we've ever been calm at the same time."  He sobers.  "I know I probably should, try again."

They both hear a knock on the door.  When Bruno opens it, Alma is there.  He looks shocked as she gathers him into a hug.  "I'm sorry, Brunito," she murmurs.

"Why are you...?"

"I should have supported you better as you tried to figure out your gift," she tells him quietly.  I saw the village, and even our family, assuming you had ill intentions, over and over."  Amelia knows Alma is aware of her presence, but she still feels like she's intruding.  Especially when she hears Bruno start to cry.

"Ay, cariño," Alma soothes.  "It's alright.  I'm sorry that we expected so much, and that we were so unfair to you."  She pauses, stroking Bruno's hair out of his face.  "Pepa told me to tell you that she is sorry, too, now that she's calmer."

It takes a few minutes before Bruno stops crying.  Alma smiles at him, cupping his cheek.  "Can you forgive me?  Forgive us?"  Bruno nods.  "Whenever you're ready, we can talk about plans."  Alma turns and smiles at Amelia, too.  "I think that a wedding is a wonderful time for a new beginning, don't you?"

Notes:

There is no plan for this story whatsoever. I just write things when they come to mind. Comments or suggestions for future updates are welcome!

Also, just an FYI that this is going to be at most PG-13 as the story progresses.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
I’m doing this for fun, I’m not trying to make a career out of it, and as far as I’m concerned the spirit of FanFiction is new stories/ideas based on things you’ve read/seen and liked. SO-adapt this or borrow characters/ideas in any way you want. Including my OC. Shoot me a message if you want, just because I’d like to read it. But you have my permission to use anything in here that is an “original” idea.

Thanks for reading!