Chapter Text
"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell."
Kevin felt his entire face go hot, his heart pounding in his chest at Edd's playful tone. He couldn't keep a smile off his face even if he tried, ducking his head down for a few moments before cutting his gaze to the side in what he hoped was a subtle glance.
And, of course, his eyes met Edd's. Just like one of those lame-ass, cheesy rom-coms his mom watched on the weekends. Jeez. Before he knew it, he'd be doodling his name and Edd's in cartoony hearts on his school papers.
Get a hold of yourself, Barr! He steeled himself as he held Edd's gaze. He still felt a bit flustered, frazzled from earlier—but he was still Kevin Barr, damnit! He was the epitome of cool, suave, and smooth, one of the coolest kids in this joint.
So act like it, he told himself. He channeled that energy into confidence as his dorky smile turned into something coy and secretive.
When just enough time passed (enough to leave an impression, not enough to raise crazy-creepy-stalker vibes, thank you very much), Kevin turned back to the paper in front of him and resolutely tackled the problems on the quiz. He might not be a certified genius or anything, not like... well. But! He was still good about staying on top of his academics, as was required for all school athletes.
In between solving equations, he indulged in a bit of daydreaming.
Fifteen minutes earlier...
Kevin readjusted the strap of his bookbag where it dangled off one shoulder, absentmindedly throwing in some offhand remark and nodding at whatever the hell Nat was rambling on about. Could've been the quiz in Algebra, practice later that afternoon—hell, he could've been reciting the Emancipation Proclamation in Cantonese, for all Kevin knew. His mind was elsewhere.
The Eds were up to their old antics again... Well, two-thirds of the trio, at least. It gave him weird flashbacks to their younger years, where every kid in the cul-de-sac was vying for Nazz's attention and jawbreakers were currency.
Simpler times.
He felt totally on-edge, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. But part of him wondered if he could expect something from the brainiac of the trio, feeling a weird mix of trepidation and giddiness at the thought.
Ever since things had fizzled with Nazz, the two of them having tried the whole dating thing before quickly deciding they were better off as friends, Kevin found his tastes becoming a bit more... varied. Suddenly, without being hyperfixated on Nazz as The Perfect Girl, his fated High School Sweetheart, he found he could appreciate more than just blonde hair, nice boobs, and girly giggles.
..."More" being gap-toothed smiles, word-vomit explanations, and a black beanie as iconic as Kevin's own trademark baseball cap.
He wouldn't say that he was gay or anything. He still appreciated girls and their charms. But... he definitely was a little bi-curious. Or he was just Double D-curious.
And sometimes, when his eyes happened to lock on those baby blues, he wondered if Edd might be a bit curious himself.
Hey, a guy could hope.
Nat was smirking now, which caught Kevin's attention. Blinking in confusion, he clued back into his friend's one-sided conversation at: "...que declare las causas que lo impulsan a la separación."
"Ah!" A new voice piped up. Kevin turned to his left and saw the subject of his wayward thoughts, rushing to catch up to the pair.
He found himself slowing down a bit to match Edd's pace as the shorter boy replied, voice confident and rolling, "¿Estamos practicando para la clase de historia y español?"
Kevin stopped in his tracks, blinking. "What the fu—"
"Language, Kevin!" Double D yelped in offense. Kevin rolled his eyes, lips curling upward in amusement while Nat chortled beside him. What a dork, he thought.
"What can I do you for, Double D?" Kevin asked, folding his arms across his chest in a way that just so happened to accentuate his hard-earned biceps. Nat rolled his eyes beside him.
(What? If you've got it, flaunt it. And Kevin? He’s got it. He spent way too many hours in the gym to not show off his gains a little.)
Kevin watched as Edd's expression turned nervous. "Um, erm, N-Nathan, would you mind giving me a moment to speak with Kevin?" He gulped, Adam's apple bobbing. "In, uh, private?"
Nat waggled his eyebrows, grinning like a loon. "Private, huh? Y'know, the boys' bathroom by the drama classroom is usually a ghost town this time of day, or there's the janitor's closet by—"
"Nat!" Kevin elbowed his friend right in the ribs, watching with no small amount of satisfaction as the green-haired kid bent in half with a wheezing chuckle.
"That would be perfect," Edd surmised primly, the implications of Nat's suggestions seeming to go right over his head. He turned to Kevin with a harried smile, ignoring Nat's sputtering laughter.
"Kevin, would you be so kind as to lead the way there? We do not have much time to waste before Algebra begins, and you know how Mr. Snye feels about tardiness."
His expression must've been something to behold, because as he nodded and zipped down the hall with Edd hot on his heels, Nat managed a loud cackle that resounded down the bustling hallway.
In short order, they found themselves standing in front of the janitor's closet, fidgeting in a moment of awkward silence before Kevin reached forward and tugged the door open.
In an inspired show of chivalry, he gestured for Double D to go in first. He totally missed Edd's blush and appreciative gaze as Kevin looked around.
Sure enough, the hall was dead, no students or teachers in sight.
He carefully closed and locked the door behind him as he entered the cramped space, going to turn around only to yelp in shock when he felt a set of hands spin him around and pin him to the door.
"Edd? What’re—" He cut himself off with a gasp as another pair of lips plastered themselves to his own.
His mind briefly stuttered to a halt. He felt frozen in place with shock, like he was having a trippy, out-of-body experience because—Holy shit, what! What was happening right now?!
He wished his body got the memo quicker than it had, because all too soon Edd was pulling away with a quiet meep, looking horrified by his own uncharacteristic behavior.
"Oh my word, Kevin, I am so sorry if I completely miscalculated your interest, how absolutely mortifying, I just—!"
Kevin reached out and balled Edd's shirt in one fist, stretching the fabric as he pulled the shorter boy closer and kissed him—properly, this time.
His bookbag plopped to the floor, forgotten as he lost himself in the sensations of that moment.
There was the stupid smell of the cleaners around them that made his nose itch. The feel of the smooth cotton of Edd's shirt catching on the calluses of his palm, followed by the surprising silkiness of ink-black hair between the fingers of his other hand. (He had no clue what product Double D used, but it was stupid soft.)
Then there were the sounds.
His blood pumping in his ears, almost loud enough to drown out the quiet little noises they were making—wet puckers and slurps that were just this side of embarrassing but mostly hot as hell. The soft moans that came from deep within his own chest that perfectly meshed with the higher sighs coming from the other boy.
And as they kissed, Kevin could taste the faint coolness of peppermint and, underneath that, something harder to describe that left him wanting more.
They broke away from each other when their shared oxygen was running low, breathing like they'd run a marathon.
As he leaned back against the door and watched Edd struggle to compose himself, Kevin couldn't help but want to reach out and tousle the other boy some more, rough him up and make him go soft around the edges.
He couldn't recall the last time kissing someone else had made him feel like he was falling apart... probably never. This was something else.
Kissing Nazz, or any of the few casual makeout seshes he’d had with random cheerleaders or girls from the popular cliques – all those experiences paled in comparison to this rushed, sloppy, completely and imperfectly perfect experience.
Before he could utter a single word, Double D cleared his throat to say, "Kevin, I need to humbly request your assistance."
He blinked. "That was a hell of a way to ask for help," he said, voice rough.
Edd flushed bright red, stuttering a bit. "I–I mean, I n–need your cooperation in, er, I—we, I, th-there—we're having a bet!" he finally burst out.
Kevin felt his heart plummet all the way down to his converse shoes.
What?
He swallowed thickly. Was this all just some kind of trick, a game all along? His expression grew stormy at the thought. He knew the Ed's were up to no good, but Edd? The guy who lived life according to his moral compass, his staunch sense of right and wrong?
Sure, Edd had a mischievous prankster streak from back in the day, which Kevin could appreciate, but...
He'd assumed it was all Eddy this time around, as usual—not Double D, too.
Correctly gauging Kevin's thoughts from watching his expressions, Edd grew panicked, rushing to explain.
"Oh! Oh, my heavens, no—I would never sully this fantastically romantic dalliance of happenstance! I swear to you, kissing you was not part of the bet, I promise, Kevin! I swear on my-my cactus collection, I—that was not what I was insinuating!"
Over the course of listening to Edd's hasty words, Kevin felt like he could breathe again, fighting against a giddy laugh of relief.
"Fantastically romantic dalliance of happenstance, huh?" he asked with a smirk that was closer to a dopey grin than he'd like to admit. "I believe the youths like to call it making out, nowadays."
Double D grew even redder. "What I am trying to get at, Kevin, is that I require your discretion and cooperation in securing my win against Eddy and Ed.” He paused. “If you would be so kind."
"If you get to the point and explain what this bet is, and I agree, then would you be so kind as to continue this?" he retorted, gesturing between them with a jerk of his chin.
Edd gulped. "We made a bet: whoever could get you to stay speechless for at least ninety minutes, the length of one class period—"
"I know how long classes are, I'm not an idiot."
"—would earn the others' servitude for an entire day, no strings attached." Edd blinked downward with a frown when he realized his shirt was still in Kevin's grasp, pushing the hand away to primly tug away any wrinkles in the fabric. Kevin let him, since it meant Edd was now holding his hand.
Edd went on, "As you may have noticed, both Eddy and, later, Ed failed in securing your silence today—"
Kevin made a noise of realization. "So that's what the hell's been going on today!” He felt a brief sense of satisfaction that his paranoia was justified after all. “Felt like déjà vu, like we went back in time or something for a minute there."
Edd grinned a gap-toothed smile. "Yes, well—what they lacked in finesse, they made up for in... creativity?"
"I dunno," Kevin argued playfully, "Your method seems to be the most creative by far. But I haven't even figured out what's in it for me if I help you win."
"I-In it—for you?" Edd asked, blinking.
"Yes," he replied smugly. "I'm feeling in a betting mood myself now."
"Oh, are you now." Edd deadpanned.
The other boy sized Kevin up with a calculating gaze, a thoughtful frown on his face as he paused for a moment to collect himself. "Fine. You would like to make a deal of our own, then?"
"I'm all about high stakes, babe," he replied smoothly, feeling like a total Casanova now.
Double D's eyes widened slightly at the casual nickname rolling off Kevin's lips, blushing yet again. "Oh! Um. Well, in that case..." He straightened and his voice abruptly shifted into something firmer, more determined. "Kevin Barr?"
Kevin felt his heart skip a beat. "Yes, Eddward Marion insert-last-name-here?"
Edd's eyes glinted in amusement, but his tone stayed steely and resolute. "I hereby enter into the following bet with you:
”I, Eddward, bet that you cannot keep yourself from uttering so much as a peep during our Algebra class together."
Kevin smirked. "And why should I, Kevin, agree to this bet?"
"Because," Edd murmured with a smirk of his own, "If you can somehow manage to keep quiet for ninety consecutive minutes and win our bet..."
He sidled closer until they were pressed right up against each other, stealing Kevin’s breath away in one fell swoop.
"…Then I will personally see to it that you will have the opportunity to keep me quiet, using whatever means you deem appropriate."
Shit.
He felt his blood promptly rush south—he'd never popped a stiffie so quickly in his short-lived teenage life. He tried to press his lower half away from Edd but, judging by the other boy's quick intake of breath, he wasn't quick enough.
Before he could stutter out some lame explanation (it was just his phone, duh), Edd pressed his hips forward into Kevin's own. An answering hardness rubbed against his thigh.
Kevin moaned before he could reign himself in, blinking through the hazy arousal clogging up his mind. "A-and if you win?" He managed.
"Then I believe I should have the opportunity to keep you quiet as well. Whatever means." he paused to blink innocent blue eyes up at Kevin. "It would be fair, don't you agree?"
"Shit," Kevin breathed out. Edd was going to be the death of him.
"Language, Kevin," Edd chastised, this time in a slightly breathless and playful sing-song voice as he pressed impossibly closer.
"So? What do you say, Kevin? Are you amenable to these terms?"
"If I win," Kevin hastily added, moaning as Edd continued his ministrations by simultaneously rolling his hips and clenching Kevin's hand in a death grip, "In addition to—to what you said. You have to... go out with me."
Edd froze before pulling back to get a closer look at Kevin, jaw gone slack.
Kevin felt slightly nervous, unsure, but jerked his chin up in stubborn defiance.
"High stakes," he reminded with as much confidence as he could manage.
Edd's eyes zipped back and forth over Kevin’s face, and Kevin could practically hear the cogs turning in the boy genius' mind.
"No ulterior motives, right?" Double D asked, tone suddenly guarded. "This will not be a prank, or you playing your own games?"
Kevin smiled, laughing a bit in relief. "Nope. None. I just... yeah." He ducked his head down as he flushed, using his free hand to rub the back of his head.
Double D craned his neck until he caught Kevin's gaze again, expression soft and open.
"In that case, Kevin Barr, I agree to your terms. And..." he paused with an embarrassed grin. "Likewise, if I should come out as the victor of our arrangement."
"Oh, you'll be coming, if I have any say in it," Kevin teased with a playful leer, laughing at Edd's indignant huff. "Okay, so should we shake on it, or—"
"I think you will find that I have a much better idea in mind, Kevin." Eddward's grin transformed into something mischievous, looking like the cat who got the canary as he pressed close once more.
Kevin didn’t really think about much, after that.