Work Text:
Rain poured in sheets, thunder rumbling distantly and wind pulling at trees. Caitlyn tried to jam herself deeper into her jacket to combat the chill. It didn’t do much considering how waterlogged it was, but it was better than nothing. The only warmth to be found was the hot tears streaming down her cheeks.
“So stupid,” Caitlyn muttered, taking a seat on a bench. She was already soaked, so it’s not like she could get any wetter. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes, letting the rain pelt her face and wash away any evidence of crying.
Disappointment was an ugly, heavy thing. It settled in your chest and stomach like a rock but twisted and churned like the angry sea, breaking you down bit by bit. The feeling turned everything to grey somehow. Your shoulders dragged with the weight of it, and it loomed over your life, getting bigger and bigger the more it was let in.
This was Caitlyn’s penance, she realized. For expecting too much. For asking for more than she deserved. For wanting more from a girl who didn’t want her at all. The girl she loved with her whole heart who obviously didn’t love her back.
Caitlyn was pulled from her thoughts by movement in the corner of her eye. She looked up and her blood ran cold. Hurriedly, she stood up and started fumbling for her phone as she walked briskly down the sidewalk.
The familiar car, a Nissan, driving slowly down the road continued in her direction.
“God, Vi, please pick up.” Trembling fingers managed to hit the contact name, hand shaking as she brought the phone to ear. The ringing seemed to echo loudly in her ears as she prayed desperately that Vi would just pick up the phone. When it went to voicemail, Caitlyn felt her stomach drop.
"Vi, please pick up. I need your help. Please. I'm so scared."
Headlights suddenly illuminated everything.
It started innocently enough.
Caitlyn wanted to blame it on their first meeting. She had decided to try a new coffee shop, her usual place was closed for renovations and she needed her caffeine fix. It was a quaint little place that supposedly had good coffee. At least, that’s what Jayce had said. She had gone to get her coffee (which was very good) and then had been hit on by some creepy guy who wouldn’t take no for an answer. Caitlyn had been struggling when Vi had come to her rescue. That had started their friendship but had also started Caitlyn’s problems.
Caitlyn saw Vi as her knight in shining armor and that’s where everything went wrong.
It was a bitterly cold day with biting wind and no sun to be found. Caitlyn shivered despite the numerous layers she had bundled herself in. She’d never been great with the cold and she hated when winter made itself known. Normally she’d be sequestered indoors to hide from such weather, but she had promised to meet Vi at the park so they could walk to The Last Drop for a few drinks.
Vi was supposed to have arrived a half-hour ago.
“I wish the sun would come out.” Caitlyn sighed, finally taking a seat on one of the park benches. She had been pacing to try to keep warm but her feet were killing her. The wood of the bench was freezing, sending a shiver up Caitlyn’s spine. She had stopped being able to feel her toes or fingers about ten minutes previous and she was sure she was going to have frostbite. Her face hurt so she tried burying it in her scarf, only to realize the wind pierced right through it. Maybe she needed a thicker scarf.
Vi hadn’t responded to any of her texts asking where she was. Caitlyn should have stood up and gone home. She should have done so at least 15 minutes earlier. But she didn’t want to miss Vi when she finally did show up. If she showed up.
Caitlyn gazed up into the grey sky, watching her breath puff out in white clouds. She chewed her already chapped lips as she wondered what could have kept her friend away. Hopefully, Vi was alright. A voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Mel suggested she probably forgot, as Vi was known to do. Vi had promised the last time she’d missed plans that she’d do better the next time. Well, this was the next time, and Caitlyn wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.
“Hey, cupcake!” Vi came jogging up, smiling warmly. “Sorry I’m late. I lost track of time.”
“You’re half an hour late, Vi. What if I had gone home?” Caitlyn stood up and glared at Vi.
“I knew you wouldn’t bail on me.” Vi pouted, flashing the puppy eyes that made Caitlyn weak in the knees. She could never resist the puppy eyes. “I’m sorry, I’ll totally make it up to you.”
“I suppose I can forgive you.” Caitlyn sighed. Vi broke into a grin and wrapped an arm around Caitlyn’s shoulder. Caitlyn’s stomach did flips and a whole swarm of butterflies erupted.
That was the other problem, wasn’t it? She had this stupid crush on Vi. Hope for a future with Vi, hope for something more had twisted itself around Caitlyn’s heart and refused to let go. Was hope supposed to hurt so much? Was it supposed to have barbs that dug in whenever things didn’t go quite as planned?
“Let’s get to the bar, you look like a popsicle.” Vi laughed. Caitlyn gave her a small smile and they started walking to the bar, Vi’s arm over Caitlyn’s shoulders. It made the aching feet and biting cold worth it to be with her best friend.
“You owe me a drink.”
Watching Vi on the ice was one of Caitlyn’s favorite things. She moved like the skates were part of her, every motion fluid and deliberate. Hockey was in Vi’s blood and it showed whenever she played. It was only a rec team but she never took it with anything less than 100% dedication. That was Vi’s personality though. Everything she did, she did full-heartedly. It was one of the things Caitlyn loved about her and what had made their friendship feel so special when it started.
Vi used to look at her like no one else mattered. She wondered when that had stopped being the case.
The buzzer blared and the crowd erupted into cheers around Caitlyn. She stood and clapped excitedly with them, following Vi’s form as she celebrated her win with her teammates. They fist-bumped, hugged, and even body slammed into each other. It was funny to watch.
“Let’s get out of here before people get their shit together enough to start leaving.” Powder suggested, vaulting her seat to get to the emptier row behind them.
“That was an impressive game, I’m sure Vi is very pleased with herself.” Caitlyn chuckled, following Ekko in a more sensible way of getting out of the bleachers. Aka just walking down the row like you were supposed to.
“She’s going to be so annoying.” Ekko huffed, pushing open the doors to the lobby. There were a few people already gathered but they had beat most of the crowd. It would be a few moments before Vi made her way out, but Caitlyn was excited. She had learned some hockey terms and she wanted to show Vi how much she had learned by complimenting her.
“You look like a kid on Christmas.” Powder scoffed, rolling her eyes at Caitlyn. Ekko smacked her arm.
“Leave her alone, not everyone’s dead inside like you,” Ekko said.
“I’m not dead inside!” Powder protested. “I’m the most fun at parties.”
“Yeah, right. And I’m the queen of England.”
“Wow, my feelings are hurt. You can walk home if you feel that way. ‘Cause, you sure ain’t getting in my car.”
“Vi!” Caitlyn interrupted their bickering as a familiar head of pink hair appeared. Her hockey bag was slung over her shoulder and she was grinning ear to ear. Caitlyn stepped forward to try to hug her, only for Vi to walk past her and punch Ekko in the arm.
“I told you we’d win. Feel stupid for doubting me now, don’t you?” Vi chuckled, throwing her bag into Powder’s arms. Powder nearly buckled under the weight of it and stuck her tongue out at Vi.
“Yeah, you’re a real big shot,” Ekko said, but his eyes flitted to Caitlyn. She tried to mask her disappointment at Vi not seeing her. Ekko seemed to sense it though and his look was loaded with emotion that Caitlyn was choosing to ignore.
“It really was a great game!” Caitlyn interjected.
“Oh hey cupcake, I’m glad you made it.” Vi chuckled.
“I do my best to always make your games, Vi.” Caitlyn reminded her. Vi looked like she might say something when one of her teammates called her name from across the room.
“I’ll be right back,” Vi said before disappearing into the growing crowd. Caitlyn watched her go, trying not to notice the lump in her throat.
“Shit, Cait. She just dumped you like a sack of potatoes.” Powder let the bag drop to the ground with a thunk. “You really gotta stop being so delusional. She obviously doesn’t care as much as you.”
“Don’t be a dick, Pow.” Ekko sighed.
“I’m just saying.”
“She’s just busy. I’m not the only person in her life.” Caitlyn waved them off. She could pretend that the barbs of hope hadn’t dug in deeper, blood starting to trickle from the wound. It stung of course, but she’d be fine.
“If you say so.” Powder shrugged.
There were two things about texting Vi that drove Caitlyn up a wall. One is Caitlyn always had to text first. Unless Vi needed something, it was up to Caitlyn to keep them talking. Two was that she was constantly leaving Caitlyn on read. She’d obviously read the message and Caitlyn knew that thanks to the little word on the screen, but she just wouldn’t respond.
There had been a time that they’d texted all the time. The change was slow enough that Caitlyn hadn’t noticed until three different texts went unanswered. Caitlyn tried to keep a conversation going but you could only have so many one-sided conversations. It was getting to the point where Caitlyn was finding it harder to continue. But she was never very good at letting things go.
Vi <3: m drnk, com pki me upp???
The words were followed by several pleading face emojis and Caitlyn could picture the face Vi was making in her head. It spurred her into grabbing her purse and heading for The Last Drop, despite having work early the next morning.
Vi was at the bar when Caitlyn got there, laughing with one of the regulars. She perked up when Caitlyn appeared.
“Cupcake!” Vi cheered, moving to stand up and stumbling. Caitlyn hurried forward to steady her, slinging Vi’s arm over her shoulders.
“Hello, Vi.” Caitlyn sighed. “Let’s get you home. You need to drink some water.”
“Nahhh, you should have a drink with us.” Vi pulled away to grab at her now empty pint glass. “You need to loosen up a bit.”
“Vi, you texted me to come pick you up.” Caitlyn reminded her. The comment about loosening up stung a bit but she chalked it up to Vi being drunk. “I have to work tomorrow.”
“You’re no fun.” Vi pouted. “And you’re so stiff.” She grabbed Caitlyn’s arm to wiggle it in the air.
“Vi, am I taking you home or not?” Caitlyn tried to ignore the ache in her chest. Vi was poking at Caitlyn’s insecurities and she couldn’t handle it. She had heard a million times how she was no fun, a stick in the mud, too serious, etc. It’s not like she meant to be no fun. She thought Vi could see that she was trying to be a good friend.
“Fineeee.” Vi whined and allowed Caitlyn to take her arm again. They moved towards the door, Vi only managing to stay upright thanks to Caitlyn. It was slow going but they were getting there.
“You really shouldn’t drink so much.” Caitlyn scolded, kicking the door open with her foot.
“Ugh, this is why no one wants to hang out with you.” Vi groaned. Caitlyn tried to tell herself that Vi didn’t mean it. She tried to tell herself that Vi didn’t mean it like that. That Vi liked spending time with her. The loneliness that had pervaded Caitlyn’s childhood and liked to hide in the recesses of her mind, came flooding into her and she had to fight the urge to cry. It hurt so much more coming from Vi.
Hope squeezed tighter and the sluggish bleeding turned to a steady flow. She felt it from head to toe, a pit of pure hurt forming in her stomach.
“Let’s just go home.” Caitlyn just wanted to go home and curl up in bed.
Caitlyn’s ability to keep it together as a good friend was falling apart. After the bar incident, she had found it hard to look past Vi’s recent behaviors. It had brought it all into a different and ugly light.
But hope fluttered in her chest when Vi invited her out for bowling.
Caitlyn didn’t love bowling but she liked hanging out with her friends. She liked being better at bowling than Powder too, but that was more a side benefit. Just being able to spend time with the people she cared about outside her lonely apartment was great. Especially on days when it felt like the walls were closing in, taunting her, reminding her of all the days she spent by herself.
She never wanted to go back to that.
“You’re up, cupcake!” Vi grinned. She held out a dark blue bowling ball for Caitlyn. Caitlyn felt herself break into a huge grin when she realize it was her favorite one to use.
“Thank you, Vi.” Caitlyn took the bowling ball. Maybe they could put the bar incident behind them. Maybe Caitlyn was just overreacting.
“Oooh, look at you, pretty lady.” A wolf whistle caught Caitlyn’s attention. She looked up to see a group of three men take the lane next to them.
“Got an ass that won’t quit.” One said, looking Caitlyn up and down.
“Hey, we’re trying to bowl. Could you leave us the fuck alone?” Vi snapped, glaring.
“Oooh someone’s feisty.” Another one chuckled.
“Just ignore them, Vi,” Caitlyn suggested. Vi huffed but took her seat, allowing Caitlyn to ready herself to bowl. Unfortunately, the men had no intention of heeding Vi and made sexual comments for the entirety of Caitlyn’s turn.
“Jesus fucking christ, don’t they know when to quit.” Powder’s lip curled up in disgust. “It’s getting annoying.”
“We just need to ignore them and they’ll get tired.” Ekko stood up for his turn.
“I’ll shut them up,” Vi muttered, absolutely fuming.
“It’s not worth it, Vi. They’re just trying to get a rise out of us.” As uncomfortable as Caitlyn was, it just wasn’t worth engaging.
“I can’t just sit here and let them talk shit.” Vi turned her furious gaze on Caitlyn.
“Yes, you can.”
“Boo, I don’t want pretty boy. I want the foxy lady to take another turn.” One of the men said and that was apparently the last straw. Vi lunged forward, going for the nearest of the three. Powder was eager to join in and Ekko wasn’t going to let either of them go without backup.
About ten minutes later, all seven of them had been thrown out. The three men headed for a grey Nissan and Caitlyn was left with three somewhat battered friends.
“I told you to leave them alone, Vi! Why don’t you ever listen to me?” Caitlyn snapped, frustration filling her. Vi just couldn’t let things go.
“I was defending you! Why are you pissed?” Vi scoffed.
“I didn’t need defending, nor did I want it. I can take care of myself.”
“You were just gonna let them do whatever the fuck they wanted.”
“Because I have some self-control!” Caitlyn yelled, feeling tears well in her eyes. She hated that this was making her cry, but she also hated that Vi was turning her anger on her. It wasn’t fair when all Caitlyn had asked was for Vi to let it go.
“Well see if I defend you again!” Vi huffed and stormed off. Powder followed after, though even she looked a little off-put by Vi’s behavior.
“She’ll cool off and get over it.” Ekko was trying to be reassuring and Caitlyn did appreciate that.
“Thank you, Ekko.” Caitlyn sighed, wiping away tears. “I’m ready to go home.”
“Yeah, me too,” Ekko muttered.
Blood rushed in Caitlyn’s ears and all she could hear was the pounding of her heartbeat. Hearts were a fragile thing that in the wrong hands were easily broken. Caitlyn’s was like spun glass, delicate and beautiful, but infinitely more fragile. Tiny cracks had spiderwebbed to decrease the integrity of the glass as it was. Caitlyn’s heart was already breaking, the constricting tangles of hope pressing in tighter and tighter, threatening to crush it. Blood had started to seep from the cracks, slow bleeding eventually turning into gushing wounds.
Dylan: That girl Vi of yours sure is a great fuck, I understand why you keep her around XD
The heart shattered, splintering into a thousand tiny pieces and painfully embedding themselves in Caitlyn’s chest. She couldn’t breathe. All the air had left her lungs and she couldn’t draw any more air in. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registered that tears had started streaming down her face. If she had been able to breathe she probably would have sobbed.
Her legs started moving of their own accord.
She didn’t really register what she was doing at first. Her body was moving on autopilot. At some point, she had remembered how to breathe, though it came out in sobs instead of actual breathing. Still, it was progress. It didn’t take long for Caitlyn to find herself at Vi’s doorstep. Her hand moved, rapping on the door, hard enough to hurt her knuckles.
Powder answered the door but one look at Caitlyn had her hightailing it inside, yelling for Vi.
“Whoa, cupcake. What’s wrong with you?” Vi stopped on the bottom step, brows furrowed.
“You fucked my ex-girlfriend?” Caitlyn didn’t know how she got the words out. Vi’s face fell and she knew that Dylan wasn’t lying.
“Look-”
“You fucked my ex-girlfriend. The one who broke my heart, who cheated on me and made me feel worthless. I told you about her and you still decided to fuck her.” Caitlyn hissed, fresh tears falling.
“I was pissed off and just needed someone to fuck, okay. She was just around.” Vi rubbed at the back of her neck sheepishly. Caitlyn shuddered out another sob.
“I’ve been so stupid, thinking you cared about me.”
“Cupcake-”
“Don’t.” Caitlyn’s fists clenched. “I’m so tired of making excuses for you. I don’t know what happened for you to stop caring about me, but I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been living in this stupid fairy tale ever since you helped me at the coffee shop and it’s time I faced reality.”
“I do care about you!” Vi protested.
“You sure don’t show it. But it’s fine, I’m done doing this. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Wait, let’s just-”
Caitlyn didn’t wait to hear the rest of what she said. She stormed out the door just as raindrops started to fall. Even the weather seemed to be crying out.
“Are you sure you still wanna go to this party?” Powder flopped into the passenger seat of Vi’s car. Vi turned the key, the engine sputtering to life.
“Do you want to go or not?” Vi huffed. Her phone started vibrating and she glanced down at it. Cupcake flashed on the screen with a goofy picture of Caitlyn. She stared at it for a long moment before she turned her phone off. Caitlyn was the one who had stormed off, Vi wasn’t in the mood for that. She would try to talk to her later.
“Well, yeah I wanna go. But you seem upset.” Powder kicked her feet up on the dashboard.
“Put your feet down.” Vi ignored her comment and pulled into the street.
“You didn’t invite your girl to this party?” Ekko raised an eyebrow, sidling up next to Vi. Vi was sitting at the bar sulking, drinking a watered-down beer with the enthusiasm of a man on death row.
“She’s not my girl and parties aren’t her thing.” Vi rolled her eyes. Why did Ekko have to be so perceptive?
“You’re her thing, she’d go anywhere with you.” Ekko raised an eyebrow. That seemed a bit much in Vi’s opinion. Sure Caitlyn was her best friend but why would she go to a party she hated just for Vi?
“I doubt it, but we’re fighting anyway.”
“She finally get tired of your shit?”
“What the fuck does that mean?” Vi spun on the barstool to glare at Ekko. He lifted his hands in a placating surrender gesture.
“You’ve been taking advantage of Caitlyn for months now. I was surprised she hadn’t dumped your ass by now. It’s about damn time.” Ekko slid onto the barstool next to Vi.
“I haven’t been taking advantage of, Cait.” Vi would never do that. That would be shitty and Caitlyn was a good friend.
“You’ve treated that girl like nothing but shit and yet she’s stuck with you. The least you could do is acknowledge it.” Ekko said eyes narrowed at Vi. It was like he was reading her down to her soul. Kinda creepy. “You’ve taken her for granted.”
“I haven’t been!”
“Just take two seconds and look at the shit you’ve pulled. You’re always late or missing plans with her. You blow her off all the time. All she wants to do is get excited with you about hockey and you ignore her. You get drunk, run your mouth, and she still forgives you no matter what shitty thing you say.” Ekko rattled off, holding up fingers to count her offenses. A dawning realization settled on Vi and she suddenly felt sick. Fuck, she had been shitty. “What did you do to finally drive her away?”
“I uh, fucked Dylan.”
“Wow, that’s a low blow. I don’t know how you come back from that.” Ekko stole Vi’s beer to take a drink from it. He shook his head in disbelief.
Vi had fucked up and she was realizing just how bad. She did feel guilty about the Dylan thing already, it had been impulsive and stupid, but she was seeing just how much more she had to feel guilty about. A thought occurred to her and she scrambled to pull her phone out. She had a missed call from Caitlyn and a voicemail. Vi hesitantly hit play and put the phone to her ear.
"Vi, please pick up." Caitlyn was crying and breathless. "I need your help. Please. I'm so scared."
A cold pit of dread dropped in Vi's stomach.
Caitlyn looked so small in the hospital bed.
She was such a tall woman, but laying there with wires and tubes against stark white blankets made her look so very small. The rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor filled the empty room as Vi sunk into the plastic chair next to the bed. Caitlyn was asleep, almost looking peaceful. The black eye and the bruising around her neck were a sharp reminder that there was nothing peaceful about this. There was a cut on her head that had a butterfly bandage and bandages wrapped around her right arm. Her skin was as pale as the sheets she lay on.
“Fuck, I really fucked up.” Vi reached forward to take Caitlyn’s hand gently in hers. Caitlyn’s eyes fluttered, struggling to open. “Hey, it’s okay, cupcake.”
“Vi?” Caitlyn’s voice was hoarse and when she finally got her eyes open she had to squint against the lights of the room.
“Yeah, it’s me.” Vi could feel tears welling in her eyes. She had told herself she wasn’t going to cry, but she couldn’t help it. Caitlyn had needed her and she hadn’t been there.
“Vi, the men from the bowling alley-” Caitlyn started, her words slurring slightly. Vi tightened her grip on Caitlyn’s hand.
“I know, it’s okay. You’re safe now.” Vi let go with one of her hands to stroke Caitlyn’s hair.
“I was scared, I kept looking for you and you weren’t there.” Caitlyn frowned, squeezing Vi’s hand back. She looked up at Vi like she was surprised to see her.
“I know, cupcake. I fucked up.” Vi nodded, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her head. “But I’m with you now and I’m not going anywhere. You won’t be alone ever again.”
“You promise?” Caitlyn’s lip wobbled.
“I promise. I’ll be the knight in shining armor on a white horse that you’ve always deserved.” Vi nodded, earning a small smile from Caitlyn.
“I don’t need a knight in shining armor, Vi. I just need you.”