Chapter 1: Prologue
Chapter Text
******
Present day…
Her phone rattles against the nightstand. It’s the jarring vibration of an incoming call -- a call she’s been ignoring for about eight hours now.
It’s totally plausible that she could still be asleep at this hour.
They were out late and she was definitely tipsy. In fact, someone with a lower alcohol tolerance (her older sister for instance) would have been completely trashed and hungover like a bitch this morning. But not Sam. No, Sam inherited the Casey family alcohol tolerance which she’s learned, thanks to a few sparse comments from her father over the years (always when he thought she wasn’t listening), is abnormally high. So, while she’s not in intolerable discomfort this morning it’s not unreasonable for someone else to think she might be.
Hopefully, that allows her to get away with ignoring any recent calls or text messages.
She’s been reliving last night at Molly’s over and over again as she lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. Sleep was a fool’s errand. No need to even try so she didn’t. Instead, she mapped constellations in the weird raised spackled texture of her ceiling, mentally catalogued her to-do list for the last half of her 48 hours off, contemplated what to get her mom for her birthday, planned out her route for her annual July Fourth trip to Fowlerton next month…
Basically, she’s thought through every damn distraction she has to avoid sleeping or facing up to the elephant in the corner of the room. The elephant who’s glaring at her while he vacuums up peanuts with his trunk. He’s large and his disdain for Sam is blatantly obvious. Throwing back her bed covers, she flips her imaginary elephant nemesis the bird. She should name him because he’s probably going to live with her now. Would it be rude to ask him to pay half the rent?
Her phone shakes so violently this time that it glides toward the edge of the table’s smooth wood surface.
The groan that escapes her is instinctive and self loathing. The only possible response she can muster is rolling over in bed and smothering herself with her own pillow.
Her mortification has seeped into her bones. She will never escape it. Might as well put herself out of her misery.
What was she thinking? She knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere worthwhile. Sam Casey wasn’t the type of woman who got all the things she wanted. In her experience she was allowed to have and keep about fifty percent of all the things she longed for in her heart of hearts. Before last night, she’d been at capacity and she knew it.
So why had she pushed for that last fifty percent? Her attempt was doomed from the start.
And by start she doesn't just mean the minute she arrived at the bar last night.
She truthfully means from the start -- the very beginning of her young life.
Chapter 2: Chapter 1: The Foundation
Summary:
The best place to start, is usually the beginning.
Notes:
A/N: Here we go! This is the first chapter of eight! These chapters will alternate between flashbacks and the plot that leads up to the infamous “last night”. ;) I hope you enjoy it!
Happy reading!
xoxo
Chapter Text
******
24 years ago...
Sam Casey has loved Andy Severide for as long as she could remember. In fact, one of her earliest memories was of Andy kissing her on the cheek when she was only two years old. She remembers other things from when she was that young but most of them are abstract concepts like the way her Aunt Christie reminded her of a Barbie Doll or how the Brett Farmhouse seemed as big as a castle and, most importantly, that she thought her parents were superheroes.
None of them are a moment in time or a frozen picture that never ages. They’re thoughts and ideas.
With the exception of that kiss.
She fell down while running on the apron at the Firehouse and skinned her hands and knees. Her mother was by her side immediately, scooping her up and sitting her down on the back bumper of a firetruck. She remembered thinking she was hurting more than she’d ever hurt before in her life and the only way she knew to express it was by crying hysterically.
The other kids hovered behind her mom, staring at her curiously while she sobbed. All the other kids but Andy, that is. He sat down next to her on the bumper and grabbed her hand, linking their little chubby fingers together. He was four to her two and seemed worldly and wise.
“It’s okay, Sammy,” he said softly, sitting as close to her as he could. “Aunt Sylvie’s gonna fix you up. You don’t need to cry.”
She doesn’t remember responding. Maybe she did or maybe she didn’t. But she does know her knees suddenly began to sting and she wailed even louder.
“Here, wait!” Andy exclaimed above her crying. “I’ll help! Mommy has a trick! It always works for Liz and me!”
And then it happened.
He smushed his lips to her cheek. In hindsight, it was less a kiss and more a bump of his face against hers, but she didn’t know that. To her it seemed like the sort of kiss she’d seen Minnie give Mickey all the time. Her toddler heart exploded and all crying ceased.
Andy sat up straight with wide eyes and gave her mother a look of astonished pride. “I did it! It worked!” He let go of her hand and hopped off the bumper, running to her Aunt Stella on the other side of the Firehouse. “Mommy, it worked!”
She remembered the smile on her mother’s face. She still sees that smile now, closed lipped yet mirthful. It barely contained her glee and gave the distinct impression she knew something Sam didn’t. Once the band-aids were applied to Sam’s scrapes, her mother picked her up off the bumper and held her against her hip.
“Feeling better, baby?” She asked.
All Sam could do was nod and snuggle into her mother’s chest. She didn’t know the words to describe the fluttery feeling in her stomach back then. But she does now.
Love. It was love. Hard, fast, and instant love.
******
Yesterday...
The House is eerily quiet. She’s well aware 51 had an intense shift but normally this sort of shift inspires more talking not less. Granted, her perspective as a paramedic makes her observations a little more distant, but she’s been around firehouses her entire life. She knows how they work and how the people inside of them bond.
Something is off today.
She pulls her PIC aside as the end of second shift nears.
“Is there something going on here that I missed?” She asks.
Cruz rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “No, just Truck and Engine’s Lieutenants in a dick measuring contest. They’ll all get over it. They always do.”
“Jesus, what are they arguing about this time?”
Otis chuckles, the amusement in his eyes lights up his entire face. “Lizzie.”
She mimics his eye roll from a moment ago. “You gotta be shitting me.”
“Nope!”
“Diaz keeps insisting Miller stole her jaws just to get in her head and throw her off her game and Miller swears up and down he has no idea how they got into one of his compartments. It’s high school but with life saving tools in place of lunch room seats or whatever kids fight about these days,” he explains as they both grab their bags out of their lockers.
“And do you plan on telling either of them that Lizzie is dating your sister?”
“Absolutely not,” Cruz replies with a laugh. “Not my news to share besides we all know what this is really about.”
“You mean Diaz and Miller wanting to get it on in the turn out room?”
He nods and motions for Sam to lead the way. “It’s only a matter of time before one of them jumps the other. Know what I mean?”
She chuckles and digs her phone out of her purse. “I should tell Andy. He thinks it’s hilariously bizarre when people show any romantic interest in his sister.”
“Like there’s a chance you wouldn’t tell him?” Otis teases, bumping her shoulder with a smirk. “You guys have been attached at the hip for years now.”
“We aren’t attached at the hip,” she replies with an eye roll. “We do things without each other all the time.”
“Like what for instance?”
It’s a challenge. Sam never backs down from a challenge. “He went fishing with our dads yesterday! I stayed home on dry land.”
“You get sea sick. That doesn’t count. Try again.”
“Jules and I went to the movies with Mia!”
“Was it a rom-com girly—wait, you did?” Brian asks, urgently changing the subject. “Mia’s in town?”
Sam grins to herself. She knew that would distract him. Otis and Amelia broke up when she moved to California for what was supposed to be an amazing opportunity. They ended things because they didn’t think they could make the distance work, not because they weren’t crazy about each other.
“The job didn’t pan out. It took her a while but she found a better one here and moved back last week,” she explains. “She needed a break from unpacking so we went to the movies. You should call her.”
“I should?” Otis asks warily.
“You should.” Her tone is confident and reassuring. Mia had peppered Sam and Jules with questions about Otis the whole day. It was clear she missed him too.
“Okay, then I will. See ya later, Sammy!” Otis says as he sprints ahead toward his car, pulling his phone to his ear as he goes.
She should hate that she’s so good at deflecting, but right now it’s a talent that’s coming in handy. She dodges bullets faster than Wonder Woman sometimes.
Her phone rings and a grin lights up her face as she reads the caller ID.
She answers with a giddy skip in her step and then immediately blushes in embarrassment, hoping to God none of her coworkers were looking. “Casey’s House of Donuts, would you like your usual order, Detective?”
“Ha ha,” he deadpans. “A cop and donut joke. How original.”
“Andy Severide, do you or do you not visit the Doughnut Vault before every shift?”
“That’s beside the point! Whether or not it’s accurate does not make it original.”
She chuckles quietly. “You’re just mad it hit so close to home.”
“You know, I was going to ask if you wanted to meet for breakfast but since you apparently woke up and chose violence—“
“I think I’d maybe be willing to lay down my sword and break bread with you.”
“Break bread?” He asks, audibly holding back a laugh. He feigns a cough and then loudly mutters, “nerd.”
“I’d rather be a nerd than a jock,” she fires back in a saccharine tone.
“Of course you would, know-it-all. So, breakfast?”
“Yeah, I’ll meet you at the diner,” she agrees, not bothering to suppress her smile.
She and Andy may only be friends, but they’re best friends. Even if it took them a while to get there, she wouldn’t change a moment of it.
******
17 years ago…
Her love held steadfast for the rest of her childhood -- even when Andy was a preteen boy who was much too cool to hang out with a fourth grade girl. Her best friend, Kristin, firmly believed middle school had changed him forever, but Sam knew better. The Andy that had been her friend for the first nine years of her life was still in there somewhere.
At the CFD picnic later that year, Andy proved her right.
She and Kristin were sitting at a table by themselves, braiding friendship bracelets and trading book suggestions. The other kids were all around them playing various games and doing crazy stunts. Her older sister was always at the center of the action, but Sam had never craved attention the way Jules did. She and Kristin were happy to sit off on their own and talk about their common interests. They were both avid readers and crafters. Yes, their parents are close but that wasn’t what drew them together. Just because Kristin’s parents were Joe and Chloe Cruz did not mean they were forced to hang out.
Sam was showing Kristin a new braid she’d learned where you loop the strings around each other when it started. She felt a solid sting against her back. She recoiled and turned around, finding a group of boys standing a few feet away -- Andy among them. They laughed softly when she turned to look but none of them were glancing in her direction. To his credit, Andy wasn’t laughing. His eyes connected with Sam’s and they looked sad. Like he was trying to apologize without actually saying the words.
She turned back to Kristin to finish showing her the braid when something quick and thin hit Kristin in the eye. She doubled over and covered her face, crying out in pain. As she did, the nearby group of boys roared with laughter. Sam knew then that her initial suspicion of them was correct.
“Are you okay?” She asked Kristin as she leaned forward to check on her while she was crouched down against the bench.
“I don’t know. It really hurts.”
Her head whipped back around to the boys and she hopped up from the bench, marching the short distance across the grass. Her hands landed on her hips and she opened her mouth to give these boys a piece of her mind. She didn’t care how much older they were, they had no right to treat her or her friends badly. As she did she could see one of the boys raise his arms with a slingshot and a pebble. He was all set to let it loose and hit her square in the face when a hand clamped down on the slingshot.
“Okay, that’s enough. Someone could get seriously hurt.”
Despite her anger, Sam couldn’t help but flash Andy a small grin at the gesture. He might be hanging out with jerks, and acting like a jerk, but he could never truly be a jerk.
“Oh come on, these rocks are tiny. If it hurts then maybe they’re just babies.”
“You’re a moron,” Andy said with an eye-roll. “You nearly took Kris’s eye out with that thing!”
“I’m not a moron, you’re just a wimp.”
“Maybe. Or maybe you’re a bully.”
“Whatever. Go hang out with the babies instead if you like them so much.”
Sam crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot impatiently. “I’m standing right here, you know, and I’m not a baby. I’m nine! And I better not see you shooting rocks at anyone else or you’ll be in trouble!”
“Oh yeah?” The biggest kid, holding the slingshot, taunted as he stepped toward her. “What are you gonna do about it? Yell at us?”
Andy rushed through the crowd of boys and placed himself in front of Sam.
“No, I don’t need to yell at you,” she said, stepping around Andy. He huffed as he tried and failed to pull her back. Sighing in resignation, he gave up as she continued her rant. “All I have to do is tell my mom and dad. They know everyone in the CFD including your parents! And something tells me your moms won’t like that you’re shooting rocks at other kids!”
“Please, who cares who your parents are?” the big kid scoffed.
“You should,” Andy warned him with a smirk. “Her dad’s Chief Casey of Firehouse 51 and her mom’s a commander.”
“You’re a Casey?”
A fearful murmur ran through the crowd of boys. The slingshot was dropped to the ground and apologies were stuttered. The boys dispersed, running off in different directions.
Andy picked up the slingshot and tossed it into the nearest trash can with a laugh. “Never seen Cam look that scared before. Who’s the baby now, huh?”
She was relieved Andy backed her up, but still mad at him for taking part in any of it in the first place. Her eyes narrowed on him, crossing her arms over her chest. “You. You’re the baby, Andy. Those guys are mean. You should know better.”
She turned on her heel and stomped back over to Kristin. “How’s the eye?”
“It’s okay, I think,” Kristin replied as she prodded the red skin around her eye lid.
“Come on,” Sam said, helping Kristin stand so they could gather up their stuff. “We can get my mom to look at it just in case.”
They walked off toward the group of picnic tables where the adults had set up camp. Andy quickly trailed after them.
“I’m sorry,” he called out as he caught up. “They’re the cool guys at school. If you’re not friends with them then you don’t exist.”
“That doesn’t mean you get to be a jerk,” Sam pointed out. “And don’t apologize to me. Apologize to Kris.”
Andy sighed in frustration and then fell into step beside Kristin. “I’m sorry, Kris. It was stupid of me to be hanging out with those guys and I should have stopped them. That’s my bad.”
“It’s okay,” Kristin replied sweetly. “I’m just glad you stood up for Sam.”
Andy shrugged, modestly, and then grinned warmly over Kristin’s head. His eyes met Sam’s with an honest expression. “I’ll always stick up for Sam. Even after she yells at me.”
“And I will always yell at you when you’re dumb,” Sam promised. “Which will be a lot because boys are not as smart as girls.”
He laughed loudly and nodded his agreement. “You’re probably right.”
“No, she’s totally right,” Kristin added. “Boys are big dummies.”
Sam giggled and high-fived her best friend. “Yup!”
******
Yesterday…
Andy is already seated when Sam arrives at the diner and, to no one’s surprise, he’s surrounded by people. Wherever he goes, he’s always the life of the party. She recognizes one of them as someone who works in the Intelligence unit with him, but the two women she’s never seen in her life. They’re both practically drooling as Andy regales them with some tale of glory and gore. He always has a new story and thrives off of an audience.
The exact opposite of herself.
His eyes find hers the minute she walks in the door and he waves her over, cutting off his own story. One of the two women glares at her before they both walk away.
“Sammy!” He greets excitedly. “I’ve got somebody you should meet. This is Tyrese Goodwin. I don’t think you’ve met him yet. He’s new to the unit. Terrence recruited him.”
“I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure,” Sam says as she shakes his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too. I’ve heard a lot about you from Sarge and this guy,” Tyrese says as he smacks Andy on the back with a purposefully strong slap.
Andy grimaces and shoves Tyrese, a short laugh escaping him. “Cut it out, dude. I don’t talk about her that much.”
“Yeah, you do. How long have you guys been dating anyway?” Tyrese asks, innocently.
Sam blushes and takes the awkward pause as her signal to slide into the booth. Looking away from both men, she replies, “Oh! Um, we’re not…I mean, we’re just — it’s not like that. We’re friends! Good friends!”
Wow, could she have fumbled that any worse?
“Yeah,” Andy says, clearing his throat and distracting himself with the menu. (He has it memorized and they both know it.) “Friends.”
Is it her imagination or did he spit out that word as if it were hard to say? Had to be her imagination. Andy could have any woman he wanted. Why would he want her? His pseudo-sister.
“Oh!” Tyrese says with a wince. “Right, my fault. I just assumed.”
“Trust us, you’re not the first,” Andy says, offering Goodwin a smile to try and put him at ease.
“Good to know,” he replies as he smirks and lifts a brow at them. “I’ll let you two get to your breakfast. See you next shift, Severide.”
“Later, Goodwin,” Andy calls over his shoulder — his eyes never leaving Sam’s. Once Tyrese is gone, Andy’s shoulders relax and he smiles fondly at her. It’s a smile he saves just for her, one she hadn’t noticed until the last couple of years. “Hi.”
She chuckles and gives him a small wave. “Hi.”
“How was shift?” He asks.
“Weird. Our Truck and Squad Lieutenants are fighting over your sister,” she informs him. “Maybe ask Lizzie to put them out of their misery and tell them she’s seeing Annie?”
“I’ll ask, but Annie’s kinda wanting to keep that news between our group for now. They’re not ready for outside opinions just yet,” Andy replies, apologetically. “They like their bubble.”
Sam sighs wistfully. “I can’t say I blame them. Must be nice. I haven’t been in that new relationship bubble in like four years. Is it awful of me to feel a bit jealous?”
“No,” he assures her. “I do too. My one serious relationship turned out to be a ticking time bomb meanwhile Lizzie and Annie wake up one day and find themselves hopelessly in love with each other. They make it look easy. I mean I love my twin, but damn that’s annoying.”
“That would suck. At least Jules is as much of a mess as I am,” Sam says sympathetically. “When it comes to romance anyways.”
“How are you a mess? Asswipe is the one who cheated. That doesn’t reflect on your record. Just his,” Andy assures her, heated edge to his voice. “I can’t believe I actually let myself be friends with that dick.”
“Yeah, well, your ex wasn’t exactly perfect. She was a possessive and controlling bitch who absolutely hated me,” she reminds him. “You’re much better off without her.”
“Truer words,” he agrees. He shrugs and drops the menu down on the table. “Who needs romance anyway? You and I will just grow old together and be the fun aunt and uncle or godparents to everyone else’s kids.”
“All the fun, none of the responsibilities. I like it,” she says with a smirk. She lifts her glass in a toast and speaks without thinking. “To growing old together.”
A warm grin slowly spreads across Andy’s face as he lifts his glass to hers. “To growing old together.”
The solemnity in his eyes and the gravelly texture of his voice send a thrill jolting down her spine. Platonic or not, growing old with Andy Severide has been her biggest fantasy for as far back as she can remember. Maybe it’s not exactly how she imagined it, but it’ll do.
Chapter 3: Chapter 2: Letting Go
Summary:
Changes can come at you fast.
Notes:
A/N: I’m posting this morning because I know most of us will be too anxious to read fanfic on finale day, lol, but I’ll be back sometime after that with another chapter!
Happy reading!
xoxo
******
Chapter Text
12 years ago…
Andy never hung out with those boys again. He made new friends -- better friends. In fact, he made a lot of friends. As teenage years approached it became clear that Andy was quickly becoming the big man on campus. He’d inherited his father’s good looks and his mother’s charisma. No one stood a chance against it. Sam was no exception to that rule.
Though she liked to pretend otherwise.
When she started high school, Andy and Lizzie were juniors and Jules was a senior. Between Jules, Andy, and Lizzie it was clear to the entire school that Sam Casey was not to be toyed with. She was a freshman, but she was a well connected freshman.
Though, it also became clear from day one that she was always going to be a disappointment to someone. They expected her to be like Jules. Bubbly, loud, and charming. Sam was none of those things. She was quiet, thoughtful, and awkward. Her face didn’t rest with a bright smile the way her sister’s did. Her mouth naturally turned down.
She didn’t participate in extracurriculars as much as her sister or give presentations with the ease she did. But her papers were high quality, her homework was always done early, and her grades never fell below a B. Where her sister became a cheerleader and joined the volleyball team, Sam ran track and wrote for the school newspaper.
Safe to say, two sisters couldn’t have been more different and she was constantly being asked why she couldn’t be as personable as Jules. Her older sister was hugely popular and seemingly good at everything. Sam, on the other hand, had a small but faithful circle of friends.
And she liked it that way.
Quality over quantity was always her motto.
Luckily, none of these differences ever caused any resentment between the Casey girls. In fact, they were as close as two sisters could be and highly protective of each other. It was something their parents instilled in them from a young age. They had each other’s backs, always. And, because they were close, Jules always knew her secrets whether Sam wanted her to or not.
“Mom and dad are playing cards with the Severides tonight,” Jules informed her as she barged into Sam’s room and flopped down onto the armchair in the corner.
“Is that different than any other Friday night?” Sam asked in confusion.
“No, but this time Andy has decided to grace us with his royal presence.”
Sam laughed loudly at her sister’s joke. “Wow! You mean he doesn’t have a date? Shocking.”
She may be in love with him, but she’s under no delusion that he’d ever love her back.
“I know, right? I’m surprised he hasn’t already dated every girl in school by now,” Jules teases with a snorting laugh. “The amount of fights I have to break up amongst my cheerleading squad is truly tragic. Maybe I should tell them about how he wet the bed until he was eight? I don’t think they’d find him so attractive then.”
She scoffed at Jules and shook her head. “I think it’s impossible not to find Andy attractive.” She froze with wide eyes and then immediately tried to correct herself. “I mean for other people to not find Andy attractive. People who aren’t us and haven’t known him their whole lives. You know those people.”
Jules lifted one brow with a flat disbelieving expression. “Uh huh, sure. Other people.” Her older sister cleared her throat and sat up straighter, folding her legs underneath her. “Can I give you some advice as an older, more experienced woman?”
“No,” she refused. “You can’t.”
“Oh, come on! I really think I can help you, Sammy!”
“No, thank you.”
“Please? I’m your elder! It’s my job!”
“My elder?” Sam said, turning toward Jules with an amused grin on her face. “Who talks like that? Besides, you’re almost eighteen! Not eighty. By definition not my elder.”
Jules rolled her eyes. “Why do you have to be such a know-it-all all the time?”
“Because at least one of us has to take the time to read something that’s not required for an English class and since you won’t--”
“I read!”
“The latest issue of Us Weekly doesn’t count.”
Jules laughed and threw a pillow at her. “So, you’re a know-it-all and a brat! I see. Look, I was just going to give you a tip about Andy, that’s all. If you don’t want it that’s fine, but I know you like him and I think you deserve to have any guy you want. Even if that guy is Andy and I find him completely gross -- like an annoying little brother who flirts with all my friends.”
“Fine,” Sam sighed in guilt and resignation. “What’s the tip?”
“Make yourself unavailable.”
“Make myself what?”
“Andy is a dumb high school boy. He’s still in that wants-what-he-can’t-have phase. So, my advice to you...is make yourself less available to him. Make plans with friends at lunch instead of always stopping by his table to chat, go out on Friday nights and be seen with people -- any people, when I have practice and you need a ride home from school ask Lizzie to bring you home or another friend with a license. Make it clear to him that you have your own social life. If you’re less of a presence in his daily life then he’s more likely to miss you,” Jules suggested with an affectionate smile. “Let him know you’re a hot commodity and your time is too valuable to waste. If you do that, he’ll chase you like a little lost puppy. I’m sure of it.”
Sam snorted derisively and shook her head. “Chase me? Yeah, right. I can’t see anyone chasing me ever.”
“Please!” Jules exclaimed, narrowing her eyes on her sister. “Stop that nonsense right now. You’re a total eleven and if the guys aren’t chasing you then they’re not good enough for you. You’re great, little sister. You’re more brilliant than I will ever be and ten times funnier than anyone else in this family and you don’t take any shit! Which I wish I was better at, honestly. I feel like a pushover majority of the time. Trust me, I learn something from you every day, Sammy. Anyone who knows you is incredibly lucky to have you in their life. It’s about time that Andy starts to see what the rest of us have known for years.”
“In my dreams, maybe,” Sam grumbled before climbing off her bed to jump into her sister’s lap and hug her tightly. “But thank you for all your kind words. I couldn’t have asked for a better older sister. You always know how to make me feel better.”
“It’s a gift,” Jules replied as she squeezed her in return. “I have an idea.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. After dinner, leave the table and tell Andy you can’t hang out with us tonight because you have a project due on Monday or an article to write for the school paper or something.”
“But all my homework’s done and I don’t write real articles for the paper. I’m on the lunch schedule beat thanks to being the only freshman on staff.”
“You’re missing the point, Sam. Sweet adorable Sam.” Jules stroked her hair in a gesture that was both playful and annoying. Sam swatted her hand away, causing her sister to chuckle at her. “The point isn’t that you actually do work. It’s that you don’t hang on every word Andy says like you normally do--”
“I do not!”
“You do. You definitely do. You always have.”
Sam released a mortifying groan. “Is it really that obvious?”
“To everyone but Andy.”
“That’s it. I can never show my face again. Just bring all my meals to my room from now on.”
“And you think I’m the dramatic one.” Jules snickered and tugged Sam’s ponytail gently. “No one’s bringing your food to your room unless you're sick or something and it is impossible to fake sick around our mother. She sees through it every time.”
“Ugh, why is our mother the greatest paramedic of all CFD paramedics?”
Her sister shrugged and smiled broadly. “I don’t know but I can’t wait to be just like her or, I don’t know, maybe I’ll surprise them all and become a firefighter like Aunt Stella. I haven’t decided yet.”
“Yeah, right. With the way you’ve always flung yourself from the highest of heights that would surprise absolutely no one. You’ve got that adrenaline junkie gene all firefighters are required to have.”
“It’s true,” Jules admitted. “I do love a good thrill. Oh, speaking of! You should come to Girls on Fire with me this weekend! You’re old enough now! There’s a paramedic track this year! Mom helped Aunt Stella build the curriculum herself.”
“I don’t know that a career in the fire service is for me. I was thinking more about med school like Aunt Em. But it’s all still up in the air for me.”
“Well, then Girls on Fire is perfect for helping you figure it out. You’re coming,” Jules ordered. “And that’s that.”
There was no use arguing with her sister once she decided something. It was the one way they were exactly the same.
They were called down for dinner to eat before the Severide family arrived for cards. As her sister suggested, Sam excused herself with a tiny white lie about a history paper the moment the doorbell rang. The whole night she could hear Andy’s laugh booming through the house and it was torture to avoid him. But Jules would never steer her wrong. She trusts her more than anyone.
And, sure enough, it worked.
There was a knock on her door about two hours into the evening. She opened it to find Andy leaning against her door jamb. His tan hand was the first thing she saw as it pressed into the frame. She followed the hand to the arm and the arm to the rest of him until she met his blue eyes and captivating smile.
“Hey, Sammy.”
“Hey!” She replied in surprise. “What are you doing here?”
He lifted one shoulder carelessly. “Felt weird to come over without seeing you. Jules said you’re working on a paper?”
“Yeah—yep! Big paper. Gonna take me all weekend, probably,” she answered, hands waving awkwardly in the air between them. She did some sort of swirling gesture on either side of her head that she had never done in her entire life. She was unsure why it had to pop up now, of all times.
“That’s too bad,” he said, smile turning amused and eyes twinkling in delight. “I missed you tonight.”
“You...you did?” She asked hopefully.
“Of course,” he assured her. “It would be like coming home and not stopping by Lizzie’s room to annoy the hell out of her. Just so incredibly wrong.”
Her hope immediately died. He compared her to his twin sister. Of course he did. She swallowed a defeated sigh and forced a smile.
“Well, I’m glad I’m such a big part of your life. It would be easy to get lost in the shuffle with all those girls you date. Have you checked off every name in last year’s yearbook yet?”
Andy cackled and took a step back, holding a hand over his heart while feigning a wounded look. “Ouch! Damn, when did you learn to smack talk?”
“I’ve always known how. I just usually take it easy on you.” It was true, and she wasn’t sure what was different now — aside from a hard dose of reality and disappointment that was.
“But not anymore?” He asked with a smirk.
She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. Her nerves faded along with her temporary delusion that he would ever see her as anything other than a kid. “Not anymore. From here on out, no mercy. After all, I am in high school now. I should be able to stick up for myself and, since I stand no chance physically, it’s all up to my wit.”
“Oh, well, then our entire high school should be very afraid. You have the sharpest wit I’ve ever seen.”
“Hell yes I do and don’t you forget it.”
“Couldn’t even if I tried.”
Despite her heartbreak, she laughed. It wasn’t Andy’s fault he didn’t feel what she did and at the very least they would always be friends. She could live with that if she had to. He laughed with her and when they were done they shared soft shy smiles.
“Andy! Let’s go! I have to be up for volleyball practice in the morning!”
He rolled his eyes at his sister and waved awkwardly from the other side of her bedroom doorway. “That’s my cue. I’ll see you Monday?”
She nodded and forced another smile. “Yeah, Monday.”
She closed her door as he walked away and decided to also close the door on her crush. There was no point waiting around for someone who would never want her. It was time to have her own social life and meet people her own age. There were plenty of freshman and sophomore fish in the sea, after all.
Her feelings for Andy would never truly go away, but she learned to do a pretty spectacular job of ignoring them over the course of that year.
******
Yesterday…
After breakfast, they split the check and Andy walks her to her car. She’s not sure why, really, but some days Andy’s protective streak shows itself more than others. Today must be one of those days.
“So, I was thinking,” Andy begins as they walk side by side.
“Yes?”
“Well, I think I’m gonna go get a drink at Molly’s tonight after work.”
She nods, not quite sure where he’s taking this. “Don’t you do that after every shift?”
“Um, yeah--yes, but since you had a weird shift, I was wondering if you might want to plan on meeting me there,” he suggests, awkwardly looking away from her and scratching the back of his neck.
Her brow furrows in confusion. “Well, yeah, of course. I mean I’m going to be there anyway. Why wouldn’t I meet you there? You think I’m just going to ignore you all night?”
“What? No. I was just thinking that maybe we could spend some time--”
She never finds out how he was going to finish that sentence. Her phone rings and interrupts him. Spend some time doing what? Why can’t he look her in the eyes? Did he intend for them to be alone?
A very specific ringtone blares between them -- one they both know and recognize.
Sam freezes mid-stride while Andy glances down at the phone in her hand with an angry narrowed glare.
“Why the fuck is he calling you?”
“I--I, um, have no idea,” Sam answers honestly as she reads her ex-boyfriend’s name and number on the display. “I haven’t talked to him in a long time. I should get this. One second.”
“Yeah, sure,” Andy scoffs. He points to her a car a few feet in front of them. “I’ll go wait over there.”
Her expression turns contrite as she nods at his retreating back. “Thank you!” she exclaims, watching him walk away. She bites her bottom lip, takes a deep breath, and then answers the call. “Aaron?” She asks hesitantly.
“Sam! Hi!”
“Hi,” she parrots. “How are you?”
“Good, doing good. It’s been a while. How are things?”
“You know, keeping busy. Lots of unpredictable but rewarding work.”
“I bet. So, listen, I’m cleaning out the apartment--” he leaves out the word ‘our’ as if her name wasn’t once on the lease as well. “Because I’m moving to a bigger place in the next building over and I came across a bunch of your things. I was wondering if we could meet up sometime so I can get them to you. Maybe today? Later in the afternoon?”
“Oh yeah, sure. We can do that. Text me where you’d like to meet and I’ll be there.”
“Great! I’ll pick a location and send you the address. We’ll meet up around three?”
“Sounds good. I’m free then too.”
They disconnect the call but Sam doesn’t move at first. She stands still and stares at the phone in her hand. She hasn’t heard from Aaron since a few days after she walked out on him and none of the conversations they had after she left went particularly well. Last she heard he was dating the woman she caught him cheating on her with. If he’s moving out of that apartment, maybe he still is. Maybe they’re moving in together.
The idea that he’s moved on to a successful relationship before she has grates on her nerves. She should be the one to move on first. Not that anyone has shown any interest lately and not that she’s been looking out for any new opportunities...but still. The principle of the thing still stands. The one who cheats shouldn’t find happiness before the one who didn’t.
She walks over to Andy with a cross expression. She can’t see it but she knows it’s there. This is the beginning of a mood. She can feel it in her walk too. When she’s annoyed she lumbers more than she walks, a habit she inherited from her father.
Andy’s face is sour with recognition. He knows what she looks like when she’s annoyed better than most because often she’s annoyed with him.
“What did the asswipe want?” Andy asks.
“He’s cleaning out our old apartment and he found some of my stuff,” she answers with a shrug. “He wants to meet later.”
“Are you gonna go?”
“Probably.”
He releases a labored sigh and shakes his head. “That sounds like bullshit to me.”
“What does?”
“The cleaning out the apartment line,” Andy clarifies.
Her brow crinkles at his insistence. “Why do you think that exactly?”
“I ran into him last week when we called for forcible entry assistance and 40 responded. He asked me about you,” Andy grinds out as if it’s the last thing he wants to tell her.
“Asked about me how? Because a ‘how is she?’ seems perfectly normal--”
“Is she seeing anyone?” He interrupts with his best impression of Aaron’s voice. “I wanted to lie and say yes but I know how you hate to lie.”
She rolls her eyes. “That doesn’t mean anything. He probably just wants to make sure his love life is more successful than mine. After we broke up, it felt like everything became a competition.”
“I don’t know, Sammy. I think he’d be crazy not to want you back,” Andy replies, looking down at his feet with a conflicted expression. When he meets her gaze again, his eyes are full of mirth but it doesn’t seem genuine to her. She knows when his amusement is authentic and right now it isn’t. “But if you get back together, I’m still calling him asswipe and you can’t hold anything I said about him while you guys were broken up over my head. I’m Team Sammy all the way and that fucker is walking on very thin ice.”
“Please,” she scoffs. “He’s not going to want to get back together.”
Andy quirks a brow at her, looking unconvinced by her assurances. “Whatever you say. Call me later and tell me how it goes?”
“Sure. You still want to meet up at Molly’s tonight?”
He nods. “Yeah, seven good for you?”
“Seven’s perfect.”
“Okay, I’ll see you then. Hopefully you’re still single when I do.”
She smirks and shakes her head at his teasing. A sarcastic reply follows. “Ha ha, you’re hilarious.”
******
Chapter 4: Chapter 3: Growing Pains
Summary:
The Severide men never do well with change.
Notes:
A/N: As a treat for a rough day on twitter I’m posting this chapter early. This one is a long one and is just about one very important flashback. ;) Also, it heavily features Matt & Sylvie.
Happy reading!
xoxo
******
Chapter Text
11 years ago…
She’ll never be her sister but high school is where she began to figure out why that was a good thing. She discovered her individual strengths are appealing in their own way. The people she drew in were different than the people Jules drew in but she was different from Jules so that made perfect sense.
She wasn’t allowed to date freshman year of high school, but she did manage to get her first kiss anyway. Tommy Matthews, the junior varsity kicker for the football team, flirted with her from the very first day of the school year. She finally decided to let him kiss her behind the concession stand after the last game of the season.
It was the closest she came to a date the entire year. But she did attend parties and started making new friends through Girls on Fire and track. Both of which she thoroughly enjoyed. She actually had the beginnings of a social calendar.
All of that meant she wasn’t going into sophomore year completely inexperienced and, at first,16 didn’t feel much different than 15.
But then Marshall Franklin happened.
He was a junior who was on the varsity football team with Andy and he immediately took an interest in her. She was never sure what suddenly made her visible but whatever it was bugged the shit out of Andy. He scowled every time he passed the two of them in the hallway. He never talked to her about Marshall but it was clear they had some sort of history between them.
“So,” Marshall said as he walked her to class one day. “I heard you’re allowed to date this year.”
“Yeah,” she answered warily. “That’s true I guess. How did you know that?”
“Your sister not being able to date until her sophomore year is a school legend. We all assumed that rule would apply to you too.”
She laughed. “Safe assumption. If it was up to my dad I wouldn’t date till after college graduation but lucky for me and Jules our mom is very persuasive.”
“Lucky for me too,” Marshall said, flashing his perfect smile at her and running a hand through his sandy blonde hair. “Listen, um, it’s a tradition for the team to go out to eat after home games and, you know, the guys all bring their girls. I, uh, don’t have a girl but I was hoping you might be willing to come as my date? It’s a group thing and just to a local crummy diner but I thought it might be fun?”
Her cheeks heated with a gratifying blush and she laughed nervously. She wasn’t stupid. She knew he was interested, but some guys just like to flirt with her. She got that a lot. With her quick wit and nimble mind, some guys simply liked the challenge of the back and forth banter. It rarely led to an actual date. She assumed Marshall would be more of the same.
She was glad to be wrong.
“I would love to,” she replied with an eager grin. “But I do have to run it by my parents first. Can I get back to you tomorrow?”
“Sure, yeah, of course,” he agreed, his grin matching hers. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
There was an awkward exchange of giddy grins but the moment didn’t last long because Andy suddenly popped up next to her locker. “Let’s go, Sammy. I’m giving you a ride.”
He said it abruptly, as if she and Marshall weren’t in the middle of a conversation, and he stressed the nickname. She couldn’t tell if he was trying to remind Marshall they grew up together or remind her that he thought she was a little kid. Both options were annoying as hell and it took all her willpower not to glare at him.
“No, Lizzie is giving me a ride.”
“She can’t. Last minute debate team prep,” Andy informed her. “She asked me to drive you home instead.”
“I’m not going home. I have Girls on Fire now. Lizzie was supposed to take me home afterward--”
“Fine, I can wait. Our parents are on shift today anyway. I’m sure they won’t mind.”
“It’s at Firehouse 51, right? I could pick you up if you want,” Marshall offered kindly. “I have to drop my sister off at dance rehearsal around five anyway and it’s right around the corner.”
“Oh, no,” Sam said with a wide grateful smile. “You don’t have to go out of your way or anything.”
“Yeah, Marshall, no need to go out of your way or anything,” Andy repeated with a snide grin.
He shrugged, ignoring Andy’s passive aggressive tone. “I don’t mind and it actually seems it’s more on my way than Andy’s.”
“You don’t wanna do that, dude,” Andy remarked with a dry chuckle.
Sam smacked his arm as hard as she could. Grinding her teeth, she turned her back on him to focus on Marshall. “Ignore him, please.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to do that?”
“Her dad is the Chief over at 51. You really want showing up at his firehouse to pick her up out of the blue to be the very first time he meets you? I’m just looking out for you, bro.”
Marshall winced and shrunk back. The idea of meeting her dad was obviously intimidating enough to do exactly what Andy hoped it would do. “On second thought, maybe I’ll let you talk to him about our date first. Rain check? I could take you and pick you up next time if you want.”
“Sure, yeah, no worries. Next time,” she replied kindly, biting back a frustrated sigh.
She and Andy watched Marshall walk away with small waves and awkward silence. As soon as he was out of earshot, Sam turned on Andy with her hands perched angrily on her hips.
“What the hell was that?”
“What?” He asked, feigning ignorance.
“You--you just--” She cut herself off and growled through her outrage. “God, you’re a jerk!”
She stomped off toward the parking lot. She didn’t look back for Andy. It was a given that he would follow after her. He’d never let her wait in the parking lot by herself. Both their dads would kill him if he did.
His voice drifted toward her from several steps behind. “I’m a jerk for giving you a ride?”
“You're a jerk for interrupting me and Marshall and trying to scare him off!” She yelled. “I’m allowed to date now and there’s nothing you or my dad can do about it. Marshall’s nice and he likes me. That’s more than anyone can say for you and your dates!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked as he caught up with her at his car.
“Those girls you date only want you because all the other girls do,” she pointed out. It should be obvious. Surely, he knows that. “They don’t actually know anything about you and they’re typically not nice to anyone who isn’t you.”
“What’s wrong with that? We’re in high school. It’s not like any of us are looking to get married,” Andy replied with a scoff, opening the passenger side door for her.
“So the girls you date are just for you to bide your time?”
He nodded in response and she scowled, yanking the door from his hands to shut it herself.
She watched him walk around the car and get in the driver’s side with narrowed eyes.
“Boys truly are dumb. Maybe I shouldn’t date any of you.”
“Fine by me,” Andy quipped. “It means I can stop reminding the guys at our school that you’re off limits.”
“Excuse me!” Sam cried out with a livid expression. “You’re doing what now?”
“You’re 15! The amount of guys who wanted to ask you out last year was infuriating--”
“I’m 16! Not 15! And does that mean you’re the reason I had to corner Tommy behind the concession stand before he’d finally kiss me?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him as he started the car and backed out of his parking spot. She didn’t enjoy the knowledge that she had to initiate her first kiss, but it had been obvious Tommy wanted to kiss her and he never did. One of them had to make a move and he wasn’t going to.
Andy’s hands tightened around the steering wheel as he glanced over at her in surprise. “That kid kissed you? When? I told him to back off when I caught him flirting with y--”
“Oh my god! Are you insane? You’re not my dad or my brother. You can’t bully boys into staying away from me!”
“Why not?”
She swore she heard a whine in his voice. He was definitely wearing a pout.
“Because I’m not a little kid anymore! I like guys and they like me! I have a learner’s permit that will be a driver’s license as soon as mom gets a new car and gives me her old one! I worked a summer job at the local vet clinic! I’m allowed to use mom’s hot glue gun now--Are you seeing a trend? A trend where people are trusting me to take care of myself? You’re the only person who’s still treating me like a baby!”
He snorted loudly and rolled his eyes. “Just two years ago you were still playing with Barbies.”
“For the millionth time, I was babysitting for Violet and Chief Hawkins! Barbies are Mandy’s favorite! You know what, just drop me at the firehouse and go! I’ll get one of the other girls to take me home.” She angled herself in the seat so her back was partially facing him and kept her gaze pointedly focused on the passenger side window.
“Come on, Sammy,” Andy pleaded, an unspoken apology in his voice. “Don’t be like this. I was just trying to look out for you.”
“Well, then don’t! I don’t need you to look out for me.”
“I like being your backup. I always have.”
That was normally where she would cave. She always liked having him as back up too, but this wasn’t him being her back up. This was him acting like a bodyguard. She maintained her stony silence for the rest of the drive to the firehouse by some miracle. Ordinarily, she couldn’t deny Andy anything, but it seemed as she grew so did her willpower.
He stopped the car outside of 51 and she was up and out the car before he could say another word. She marched into 51 and changed, waving at various familiar faces as she passed. When she came out of the locker room, she found her dad waiting for her by Tower. Chief Casey of Battalion 25 still worked out of 51. Her mother worked out of Headquarters and kept more regular office hours. Which meant her mom could probably pick her up after Girls on Fire. She hadn’t realized that until her dad’s face came into view.
Her dad opened his arms and Sam ran right into them, hugging him tightly.
“Hey, munchkin,” he said as he kissed the top of her head. “How was school?”
She groaned and stepped out of the hug to lean back against a file cabinet. “It was fine. At least until Andy decided to be a jerk. Can you call mom and ask if she can pick me up on her way home? Lizzie was supposed to be here but she had last minute debate prep and if I have to spend another second with Andy I might end up punching him in his stupid smug face.”
“He was that bad, huh?” Matt asked, smirking at her while he shoved his hands in his jacket pockets.
“He still looks at me like I’m a little kid. I swear all he’s ever gonna see is that little girl in pigtails and sparkly tutus.”
Matt chuckled and nodded. “He might. The Severide men don’t deal well with change and, trust me, you being a teenager has been a change for all of us.”
She laughed softly. “Yeah, I gathered that much from my 16th birthday party. Mom cried once every half hour and kept mumbling, ‘where did my baby go?’, while smothering me in hugs.”
“Yeah, and that’s gonna keep happening. In fact it might be contagious,” Matt declared before reaching out for her again and pulling her in for a second crushing hug.
“Dad!” She cried out with a snicker as his arms went around her again. “Oh my god, our family is full of saps! This is so embarrassing.”
“You’re growing up too fast. I don’t like it,” he muttered, grinning against her hair.
“Well, then you’re really not gonna like what I need to ask you next,” Sam replied while biting her bottom lip. “But maybe that should wait for mom. Girls on Fire is about to start in five minutes anyway, I should get out there.”
“I already don’t like the sound of that.”
“Exactly why we should wait for mom,” Sam teased. “And maybe have Jules on Facetime from her dorm. I’m gonna need the moral support.”
Matt released a pained groan as he arched back from their second hug. “This is about a boy, isn’t it?”
She smiled her sweetest smile, the one that could sometimes get her out of trouble with her father, and then kissed his cheek. “Just remember, I love you very much and you will always be the best dad I could have ever asked for. You’re a generous, kind, very funny man who always wants his daughters to be happy--”
“Okay, okay, enough with the sucking up,” Matt interrupted with an amused grin. “We’ll talk over dinner when Girls on Fire is over and your mom gets here.”
“Promise?”
He lifted one brow at her and then gently shoved her toward the apparatus floor. “Go. Have fun. Work hard.”
She mock saluted and smiled brightly at him. “Yes, Chief!”
“Smart ass,” he muttered under his breath, chuckling as he watched her walk away.
“I don’t think you’re supposed to use that kind of language around me, Dad!” She called over her shoulder.
“I won’t tell your mom if you don’t.”
Has she mentioned how much she loves her dad, yet? Because she loves him, and her mom, more than anyone else in her life. She and Jules really were blessed with the most wonderful and supportive parents they ever could have asked for.
She drilled her ass off for the next hour at her Girls on Fire meeting. She was on the paramedic track but they still ran firefighter drills because paramedics needed to be prepared for anything. She considered Girls on Fire her team sport. It was the only time she ever enjoyed working and communicating with other people. While she didn’t think she’d ever want to be a firefighter, she could see herself as a paramedic or maybe even a doctor. Whatever she ended up doing, she wanted to help people. The urge to help seemed ingrained in her genes. In Jules’ genes too. Her sister had every intention of becoming a firefighter. Her marketing degree was simply her back up plan.
When they finished their last drill, she looked up to find her parents watching her from inside the apparatus floor. Just their very presence put the rest of the house on their best behavior. She’d been around the CFD long enough to know that a couple of white shirts made everyone a little nervous.
“Looking good, baby!” Sylvie exclaimed as she hugged her daughter, smoothing flyaways blonde hairs behind Sam’s ears while she held her. “You shaved several seconds off all of your times!”
She nodded and beamed at both her parents. “My biggest competitor is always myself. If I’m not improving then I’m not working as hard as I should.” She shrugged and then wiped the sweat off of her face with a towel.
“Mhm,” Sylvie said, laughing softly and turning her head to give Matt a knowing glance. “I wonder where you got that from?”
Matt held up his hands in playful surrender. “You knew there’d be a chance of our kids taking after me when you picked me. Too late to regret it now.”
Sylvie smirked and then leaned over to kiss him slowly but chastely. “Believe me, there are no regrets. Never will be.” She took Sam by the shoulders and turned her toward the door to the Firehouse. “Go get showered and changed. We’re having dinner here tonight and then it’s home to do your homework.”
An hour later, they were all sitting in the Chief’s office and eating the dinner 51’s latest candidate prepared for everyone when Sylvie turned to Sam with a concerned expression.
“So, your dad said you need to talk?”
She swallowed her latest bite and then nodded. “Yes.”
“What’s up?”
“You know how we talked about me being able to date once I turned 16?”
Matt paled, eyes widening as he turned to her mother with a panicked expression. “Did we talk about that? Are we sure that was the rule we established or--”
Her mother chuckled and patted his back consolingly. “Yes, we did agree to that. Why?”
“Well, this guy I’ve been sort of talking to, Marshall, asked me to go with him on this group date sort of thing after the next football game. He says it’s tradition after a home game for the football team to go out to eat together and everyone brings dates and he asked if I wanted to go with him,” Sam rambled with a nervous gulp. “It’s just dinner at a crummy diner but Marshall’s really nice and I like him a lot.”
“The football team, huh?” Matt asked, eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “So, if that’s the case, then Andy will be there too?”
She huffed in irritation but nodded. “Yes, I guess so.”
“Then I’m okay with it,” he agreed instantly. “Sylvie?”
“A group date sounds like a very appropriate first date to me,” she answered with a nod. “I think that’ll be fun for you!” Her mother leaned toward her with a conspiratory smirk and whispered her next question so her father couldn’t hear it. “And this Marshall boy...is he cute?”
“So cute,” she answered eagerly. “Blonde hair, green eyes, perfect smile.”
“You’ll have to show me his yearbook photo when we get home,” Sylvie replied with a wink.
“Curfew still applies though,” Matt said hastily, no doubt having overheard their side conversation despite their best efforts to keep it quiet. “No later than ten.”
She squealed in delight and hopped up from her seat to hug her dad excitedly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! You guys are the best!”
She gave Andy the cold shoulder for the rest of the week and asked Lizzie if it was true that Andy had tried to keep the boys at their school from asking her out.
Lizzie laughed and nodded. “Yeah, and if mom knew about it she’d kick his ass.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sam asked her in outrage.
“Because last year, there was a whole group of seniors who only wanted to ask you out because you were Jules’ kid sister and they had some sort of grudge against her for being pretty and popular and not interested in them,” Lizzie explained with an apologetic wince. “Andy kept those guys off your tail and kept Jules from finding out and potentially getting expelled. This year though, I think he did it because seeing you flirt with guys freaks him out. He doesn’t know whether to treat you like Sammy or any other high school girl.”
“He can’t do both?” She asked, brow furrowing.
“He’s a very simple guy and any kind of change freaks him out so no. He can’t do both,” Lizzie replied with a dry chuckle.
“Well, he’s going to have to figure it out because I like Marshall and Marshall likes me and my mom and dad are okay with me dating. I’m not gonna let his dumb face get in my way.”
“Yes! You go girl! I’m with you all the way!” Lizzie cheered. “I never let his dumb face get in my way either!”
She kept her distance from Andy at dinner with the football team and focused on Marshall instead. She could feel Andy staring at her every now and then but she ignored it. Marshall was a perfect gentleman all night long. They talked and joked and laughed. He held her hand when they walked to his car and then held her hand when he walked her to her front door and ended the night with a shy kiss to her cheek.
To her, it was perfect! She was worried he might pressure her for more than she was ready for but he never did. Not once. She spent the rest of the weekend in a deliriously happy mood. Especially after Marshall called on Sunday to ask her out for a second date.
Her very first date ever had been an overwhelming success.
Andy Severide could eat his heart out.
Not that he was or ever would eat his heart out for her, but still…
The sentiment remained.
Suck it, Andy Severide.
Her first date slowly evolved into her first boyfriend as the school year progressed. Her parents thought he was a very respectful kid and began to include him as an expected guest to family and firehouse events. She became a regular fixture at his remaining football games. He showed up for as many of her track meets as he could. They held hands in the school hallways, made out in his car after football games and dinner dates.
He was sweet and fun.
The perfect first boyfriend.
Or at least he was until prom season started up.
Marshall asked her to go with him, of course. She was one of four underclassmen that would be attending. Not long after the plans had been set and her dress had been purchased, the pressure she’d admired Marshall for not submitting her to early in their relationship began.
He would get a little too handsy while they kissed and she would gently correct him. He would reach for the hem of her shirt and she would have to remind him of her boundaries. Each time he apologized and said it wouldn’t happen again, but it always did. She didn’t know what to do about it. She didn’t want to break up with him. She liked him. But he refused to listen to her and he was making her extremely uncomfortable.
Her parents had extended her curfew for prom and she was honestly worried about being alone with Marshall for that long. She didn’t think he would hurt her but she did think he would get upset with her if she refused him any longer.
But it was too late to back out now. Besides that, the rest of the girls in her class would kill to go to prom! How could she give that up?
How was she to know prom would turn out to be boring and superficial? Marshall didn’t want to dance at all. He wanted to take their prom photo and then hang out in the back with his buddies, drinking far too much of the spiked punch. It seemed she overestimated Marshall and maybe didn’t know him as well as she thought she did. The only dancing she did the entire night was with Lizzie and Kris (who was one of the other lucky underclassmen asked to attend) to a classic Taylor Swift bop.
“So, he’s just been standing over there in the corner ignoring you all night?” Kris asked, glaring at Marshall.
“Yes,” Sam answered. Her reply was clipped in irritation.
“What a douche!” Lizzie exclaimed, over the music. “You look too hot to be left all alone!”
She glanced down at her lemon yellow beaded princess gown and sighed. She loved her dress but Marshall didn’t even seem to notice it. “I know! This dress is proving to be such a waste!”
Kris’s boyfriend, Tate, came over and pulled her away. Kris hugged her quickly before she scurried off.
“He’s a dumbass, forget him,” Kris whispered with a smirk. “Plenty of other fish in the high school sea.”
She caught Andy’s eye as Kris walked away and nodded through a hopeless sigh. Why was that more depressing than it was encouraging? Maybe because the fish she really wanted would never see her as anything more than a kid crying over a scraped knee.
Andy began to cut his way through the crowd to her and she panicked. She didn’t want him to find out Marshall wasn’t actually as great as he seemed. She made a break for it and found her date exactly where she left him — standing along the back wall of the ball room, completely trashed.
“Hey, babe!” Marshall said with a dopey grin, wrapping his arms around her waist. “You ready to get out of here yet?”
“Yes, please,” Sam replied with a relieved sigh. “I’m bored.”
“Your wish is my command,” he declared, grin turning sharp as he grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door. “I’ve got just the way to cure that boredom.”
She definitely didn’t like the look on his face. But where else was she supposed to go? She came here with him, after all. He called their limo driver as they walked and when he put his phone back in his tuxedo jacket pocket he traded it for a keycard in a hotel envelope.
That’s when she realized they weren’t headed for the exit. They were headed for the elevators that led upstairs to the hotel rooms. He hadn’t called their limo to meet them. He’d called their limo off.
She quickly dug her heels into the lush hotel carpet as the elevators came into view and ripped her hand from his. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“It’s prom night!” He answered, as if that explained everything.
“So?” She asked.
“This is what everyone does on prom night. I know you’re new to this and a little...shy, but — trust me — this is how high school relationships work.”
She blinked at him in shock. True, she was new to dating but Jules went to prom with two different boyfriends her junior and senior years and came home after both nights. She never once mentioned a hotel room and that’s something she knew her sister would have prepared her for.
Marshall’s brow wrinkled at her hesitation. “Or maybe you don’t care about me as much as I care about you? I’m taking you and me seriously, Sam. Are you?”
Young and naive she might have been but she could still spot manipulation when she saw it. His reasons didn’t feel true. She knew he was lying and exaggerating. She didn’t know how, she just did. And in that moment all the other times he’d been less than genuine ran through her head like a highlight reel.
Marshall was never the boyfriend he pretended to be. She could see that perfectly clearly now.
“I think I’m the one that cares more than you do,” Sam fired back with a glare. “You never really wanted to take me to prom. This whole night has been about that room key. Not you and me. I told you several times before. I’m not ready for this. I don’t want it.”
She took a step away from him and then turned to leave.
“You walk away from me now and we’re over, Sam.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “We were over before we ever left the ballroom. Enjoy your hotel room. I’ve heard they have great room service here.”
She marched toward the doors that led outside and burst through. As the chilly night air hit her skin, exposed by her strapless dress, she remembered she left her wrap in the limo. Goosebumps ran over her shoulders while she dug through her clutch for her phone. Just as her fingers wrapped around it, a tuxedo jacket was draped over her. She was surrounded by a familiar scent and comforting warmth, and for a moment she forgot why she needed her phone in the first place.
But then she remembered Marshall, and worried he’d followed her after all.
“I told you, Marshall, we’re done so just leave me the hell alone.”
“Not Marshall,” a deep voice replied. “But glad to hear you kicked him to the curb.”
Her head snapped toward the voice, finding a jacketless Andy Severide grinning softly at her.
“Hi,” he greeted with an awkward wave.
“Hi,” she replied with a tired sigh. She tugged the jacket tighter around her and slipped her arms through the sleeves. “Thank you. I lost my wrap.”
Her corsage got snagged in the sleeve, drawing her attention to it. She growled in frustration before angrily tearing it off her wrist and tossing it into the nearest trash can.
“I take it prom didn’t go so well?”
“If I look over at your face and you look smug, I will punch you.”
“Why would I be smug? You think I wanted your prom to go bust?” He asked, clicking his tongue in annoyance. “Do you really hate me that much now?”
“I don’t hate you.”
“Hard to tell that from my end. You never talk to me anymore.”
“You treat me like a little kid and I’m tired of it. It makes it hard to talk to you a lot of the time.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” he offered with a grimace and a regretful exhale.
She feels his eyes rake over her from head to toe but forces herself to keep her eyes focused on her phone. He will not make her blush like a hopeless girl with a crush.
“If it helps,” he began, taking one step closer to her. “In that dress you look like anything but a kid. You look...well, beautiful.”
Okay, so much for not blushing.
“Thank you,” she mumbled shyly. “You clean up pretty nicely too.”
“Listen, I know I’m not your date and things with us have been weird lately, but...are you hungry? We could get out of here. Get something to eat?”
She bit her bottom lip and nodded hesitantly. “As long as there’s ice cream, I’m in.”
He laughed and nodded. “Ice cream it is. Come on, my car’s in the parking garage.”
He offered her his elbow and she smiled bashfully at him before accepting it. After a few steps, she freezes with a sudden thought and yanks him to a stop.
“Wait! What about your date?”
“What date?” He asked rhetorically. “I didn’t bring a date. Girls get too crazy about prom. Make it some big relationship milestone or something.” He shrugged and then gently goaded her into walking again, switching their positions so she was on the inside of the sidewalk. “I don’t need that kind of pressure in my life.”
She rolled her eyes at him and laughed. “I should have known. Mr. Bide-My-Time.”
“Can you not make that a thing?” He asked with a smirk. The request was half hearted at best.
He may not like the nickname, but he didn’t mind when she teased him.
“Nope. Too late,” she replied. “It’s already a thing.”
******
Chapter 5: Chapter 4: The College Years
Summary:
Sometimes the past won't leave you alone.
Notes:
A/N: Here’s today’s chapter! I hope you like it! Sneak peek for tomorrow’s chapter: more Married Brettsey! YAY!
Happy reading!
xoxo
******
Chapter Text
Yesterday…
Aaron asks to meet at Wrigley Square in Millenium Park, a spot they used to go to a lot to people watch. He’s holding a tray of two iced coffees in one hand and the straps of a reusable tote bag in the other.
“Thanks for coming out,” he says as he extends the tray of coffee out to her. “I got your favorite. The cold brew you like?”
“Thank you. You didn’t have to do that,” Sam tells him as she accepts the cup from him.
He lifts one shoulder carelessly. “You’re taking time out of your day to do this so it felt like the least I could do.”
He hands her the bag and she briefly glances inside. It’s socks, loose leaf tea, a few books, and a phone charger. All things she had replaced long ago and none of it important or significant.
“Um, thanks,” she says, blinking at him in confusion. “I appreciate you getting this stuff back to me.”
“Of course.” He motions to a nearby bench and she hesitantly follows him.
Awkward silence stretches out between them as they sit and sip from their coffees.
“So, I have a confession to make,” Aaron starts. “I might have used your things as an excuse to talk to you.”
“Oh?” Sam asks, anxiety pooling in her gut. Either he’s about to tell her he’s moving in with the brunette she caught him cheating with or Andy was right.
Aaron takes a deep breath before meeting her eyes. “I miss you, Sam. I want us back.”
“Miss me? What about the brunette?”
“Lilah?” Aaron asks. “That ended ages ago. She could never have been you. It just took me too long to figure that out.”
“Huh, funny,” she quips. “I seem to remember that being the reason you told me you liked her so much.”
He winces and gives her an authentically apologetic smile. “I deserve that. Look, I know it’s a long shot but I was hoping we could try. Start small, maybe?”
“What does that mean? Start small?”
“Dinner,” he states. “It means dinner.”
She nods slowly with a furrowed brow. “Okay, can I think about it? After all that’s happened between us it’s a pretty big ask.”
“Yes, yes definitely. Take all the time you need. Just call me if you decide you’re up for it. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll do whatever I need to if it means making up for what I did to you,” he replies urgently. “Letting you get away is my biggest regret.”
Her eyes narrow on him suspiciously. “I’m not sure I believe that.”
“I’d doubt me too if I were you,” he agrees. “But I’m serious and I’m determined. You deserve someone better than me and I truly believe I can put in the work to be that someone. I just need you to give me a chance.”
Dammit. Why does he have to sound so genuine? And why did Andy have to be right?
“I’ll think about it,” she promises. “And I’ll call you.”
“That’s all I ask.”
Well fuck. Now what?
She takes her bag of items, her coffee, and starts to make her way home but on the way she passes her sister’s firehouse and makes a split second decision. Her older sister has never failed her before and she needs someone with that strong of an advice record right now.
******
7 years ago…
Sam thrived in college. High School was awkward, but college? College was her time to shine. It was perfect for an introverted overachiever like herself. Northwestern was also perfectly situated to keep her at home with her parents. Even better for as much of home body as she was.
And, as a bonus, Andy decided to attend Northwestern as well.
She didn’t choose it because of him, but having him around certainly didn’t discourage her from attending.
He was her personal tour guide during her freshman year. Her orientation guide had nothing on Andy Severide. Honestly, since starting classes there the year before he’d sort of become her best friend.
They spent almost all their free time together and he was a huge help during her College Algebra class. Math was her least favorite subject and he kept her from spending that semester completely lost. She proofread all his papers. He badly needed a good editor. Thankfully, that was one of her sharpest skills. But it went beyond study help.
They had movie nights and game nights and he got her invited to any party she wanted. He also made her attend sporting events.
“You gotta broaden your horizons, Sammy. I promise you’ll have fun and if you don’t we’ll leave.”
A statement as simple as that could get her to try most things at least once. He knew exactly which buttons to push to get her motivated.
All of it felt different than high school and yet it was eerily the same. Girls still hit on him wherever they went. Though, she truthfully rarely saw him on a date these days. He was always the life of any party. But this time instead of forgetting her existence, he took her hand and pulled her into the fray with him. She wasn’t sure what changed or why it changed, but spending all this time with him had made their friendship stronger.
Yes, she’d always be a little in love with him, but if this was life as his friend then maybe she could deal. She felt special -- cared for -- and always protected. College guys could be complete assholes, but Andy made sure he kept the worst of them off her back.
That’s what he was doing now, even.
They were out at a party and some frat bro douche had tried to herd her out onto the dance floor despite her repeated attempts to brush him off. Andy had stepped in, pretending to be her date, and led her out onto the dance floor himself.
The first time they attended a party together, they’d danced then too. She had expected it to be awkward, but it wasn’t. It was surprisingly...familiar.
It felt just as familiar tonight too.
His hands were loosely settled on her waist as they stood mere centimeters apart. Her palms flattened against his chest and slowly glided their way upward until they rested on his shoulders. They swayed, low and slow, along with the music -- staying just shy of grinding. As close as they were, that felt like a bridge too far. Too dangerous. She might accidentally let her old feelings slip out if they ever had any major sensual body contact.
The dance track was winding down, but the heat radiating from under her palms was just starting to build. Andy was always hot to the touch. She was always cold. He drew her in like a heat seeking missile even if she tried to avoid him. He didn’t seem to mind having her arms draped over his shoulders and her curves in his personal space. In fact, the sly grin on his face implied he was enjoying it quite a bit.
The song ended and Andy’s grin faltered. Only for a fraction of a second, but Sam noticed.
“You really like to dance, huh?” Sam asked as they walked off toward the edge of the dance floor.
“What? Why do you say that?” He asked in confusion.
She shrugged and smirked teasingly at him. “You were wearing a big grin on your face until the music stopped.” She chuckled and nudged his shoulder with hers. “It was cute.”
Believe it or not, Andy Severide blushed. She’d never seen him blush before. It was adorable.
“Oh, that, yeah -- yeah I guess I do like dancing. I’m a guy with a lot of energy, you know?”
“Trust me, I’m aware,” she replied with a chuckle.
As they walked back to their table by the bar, Sam noticed a gaggle of girls watching Andy walk by. She bit her bottom lip to hold in her sigh. Those girls were beautiful. Mainstream magazine cover levels of beautiful. Exactly Andy’s type.
“Thanks for your help with that loser,” she said quickly and anxiously. “I know pretending to be my date must be cramping your style.”
Andy shrugged as if he truly didn’t care. “I don’t mind it. I like hanging out with you. You know that.”
Hearing those words from him always caused a massive flutter in her stomach. It was pathetic. She knew he meant it in a platonic way, but her heart refused to learn. “I like hanging out with you too.”
She looked up just in time to meet his stare and his gaze held hers for far too long. Get it together, Sam! You’re probably creeping him out.
The corner of his lips tugged upward in a barely there smile before he cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, tearing his gaze away from hers.
Oh god, did she make it weird? She did, didn’t she? If she stayed any longer tonight she might end up doing something totally stupid.
“So, I was—“
“Hey, Listen—“
They spoke all at once and then abruptly stopped, chuckling awkwardly at the confusion.
“You go first,” she offered.
“No, I can wait,” he insisted. “You go ahead.”
“So, I think I’m gonna head home early. Get out of your hair. This place is a mob scene right now anyway.”
“What? Why?” He asked, looking shocked and bewildered.
“I feel like I’m getting in the way of you and all these girls that have been ogling you all night,” she admitted with a dry self deprecating laugh. “Don’t wanna keep you from all the fun, Mr. Bide-My-Time.”
He stared at her, his face steadily falling, until his tiny grin became a major frown. “Mr. Bide-My-Time. Wow, you haven’t pulled out that old nickname in a while.”
She chuckled and the sound was forced, even to her own ears. “I mean, who are we kidding? Everyone here knows you’d never be interested in a girl like me. Not seriously, anyway.”
“Not seriously,” he repeated. “Yeah, I guess not.”
There was a tense beat that she didn’t understand before he spoke again.
“And I guess a girl like you could never be into someone like me,” he stated. “Someone who hasn’t been…serious.”
“Right,” she lies with a derisive snort. “Definitely not. No one’s fooled by me pretending you’re my date. They all know we’ll never be anything more than good friends.”
“Sure,” he agreed. Though, he didn’t laugh with her or contribute to the bit. He finally managed a smile, but it didn’t ease the tension. It looked manufactured, maybe a bit bitter. Not that he gave her time to ask about it. He gestured over his shoulder to the group of girls they passed earlier. “Guess I better go see which of these ladies I can bide my time with, huh? You okay to get home without me?”
His tone had an edge to it but for the life of her she couldn’t figure out why. “Yeah, I’m good. Don’t worry about me. Go have fun.”
“Copy that,” he replied with a wink and a mock salute. “I’m a man on a mission.”
He turned to walk away and then she remembered he was going to tell her something.
“Oh!” She said, catching his attention. “What did you want to tell me?”
His eyes widened briefly but then his face took on the trademark Severide stoicism she’d come to know well. He shrugged again and shook his head. “You know, I can’t even remember now. It probably wasn’t important.”
“You sure?” She asked. His dismissal leaves her feeling mysteriously uneasy.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” he assured her, waving off her concerned expression. “See ya later, Sammy. Get home safe.”
“Yeah,” she replied, nodding and worriedly biting her bottom lip. “You too.”
She walked away with a large knot in her stomach, it sank to the bottom like a stone. What just happened? And why did it feel like a mistake?
No. No, it was nothing. She was projecting. Andy seemed his usual self. He was a complete and total scoundrel, in the best way possible. That would never change. And tonight he behaved exactly as expected.
******
Yesterday...
“Oh no,” Jules says the minute Sam walks through the firehouse doors. “What’s with the face?”
“What face?”
“The furrowed brow thing you and dad do.” Jules pinches her brow and pointedly turns her mouth down in a near perfect impersonation of their father. “This face.”
“Aaron called,” she succinctly summarizes, ignoring her sister’s teasing.
“That dick is back?”
Sam nearly trips and face-plants on the app floor at the sound of Jules’ irritated tone. Jules never speaks ill of anyone. To hear her bash Aaron is a surprise, to say the least.
For some reason, Sam feels the need to defend him. “He’s not a dick. Not all the time anyway.”
“Being a dick any portion of the time makes him a dick. What did he want?” Jules asks with a roll of her eyes, pulling Sam over to the back bumper of her rig.
“He claimed to need to give me back some of my stuff but actually—“
“He wants to get back together?”
The knowing look on Jules face holds a touch of annoyance. She pats an empty spot on the front of the truck as she sits, beckoning her little sister to join her.
“You guessed it.” Sam replies, dropping down onto the bumper.
Jules scoffs, looping her arms through Sam’s. “Of course he waits till you’ve nearly moved on to do this. I don’t hate anyone but, right now, I wish I could hate Aaron.”
“Wait, go back. What do you mean nearly moved on? I haven’t dated anyone since we broke up,” Sam states in confusion. She’s been on one or two dates but nothing ever went further than that. She never really knew why, but she figured if she was ready to date she would know. She would feel it. And nothing felt right since Aaron. Although, to be fair not much felt right while she with Aaron either.
Jules blinks at her for a long moment and then sighs tiredly as she levels Sam with a flat and knowing stare. “Oh, please, you spend all your time with Andy. The two of you have never been closer, and that’s saying something because you were plenty close before.”
“Before what?” Sam asks in confusion.
“Before you broke up with other people because you wanted each other,” Jules states plainly, as if it were obvious.
“I broke up with Aaron because he cheated on me.”
Her older sister stands up, turning toward Sam to place her hands on the younger Casey’s shoulders. “Sure, but before you knew he was cheating you were gonna break up with him anyway, remember?”
“Because we were growing apart. Not because I wanted Andy,” Sam reminds her.
“You and Aaron were fine before Andy broke up with Stephanie. You didn’t start growing apart until after that. You drifted away from Aaron and toward Andy, like you always should have,” Jules says, squeezing her shoulders and sighing wistfully. “You and Andy, you’re meant for each other. Everyone sees that but the two of you.”
“Excuse me, everyone?” Sam asks in shock. “Who’s everyone?”
“Why do you think Stephanie never liked you, Sam?” Jules asks, brows lifted with implied meaning. When Sam doesn’t respond, Jules slowly pulls a couple of lollipops out of her jacket pocket. She hands one to Sam and keeps one for herself.
Sam sighs and unwraps it. Her sister’s implications causing an anxious roll in her gut. “You’re wrong. There’s no way Andy has feelings for me! I mean yes okay, my favoritism has been obvious. I’ll grant you that. I always figured that was why Stephanie never liked me. She could tell I used to be crazy about Andy. But the idea of Andy returning any of that? No. You’re wrong. It’s not possible. I am the furthest thing from his type.”
“I think you underestimate how amazing you are,” Jules assures her. “But fine. I can understand why you don’t believe me.”
“Good.”
“However—“
“No! No, ‘however’s! I hate it when you throw out a however!”
Jules chuckles and glares playfully at Sam. “Because I’m usually right and you know it.”
Sam groans but chooses to suck on her lollipop instead of taking the bait. She needs the sugar anyway. It’s all the serotonin she’s going to get right now. The anxious roll from earlier has turned into a full blown knot.
“However, I think the only way you find out for sure is to ask Andy himself,” Jules finishes.
She was afraid of that, but it doesn’t make any sense. She’s been so good about putting those feelings behind her. She’s had decades of practice at burying them as deep as they’ll go. Why is it such a pressing issue now of all times?
“I don’t understand. What’s changed? Why are you encouraging this now?” Sam asks, resisting the urge to nervously chomp down on the sucker in her mouth.
“Because...I’d hate to see you backsliding. You’ve realized a lot about what you deserve since you left Aaron. You’ve outgrown him, and I think you and Andy have finally grown into each other. I don’t want you to miss out on the guy you’ve been in love with your whole life just because you’re scared,” her sister advises, sitting back down on the bumper and putting a consoling arm around Sam. “I know you’re afraid of ruining everything, but aren’t you tired of keeping your feelings to yourself?”
She bites back a teary sigh and runs a hand through her hair. “I don’t have any other choice. I’ve never had a choice. Besides, at this point they’ve been hidden for so long that I’m not even sure what those feelings are anymore or what they mean.”
Jules rests her head on Sam’s shoulder. “I know you thought you had to tuck them away when we were kids, and maybe you were right back then, but...what if everything is different now? What if it’s been different for a long time? You’re never gonna know unless you try. And it’s okay that you don’t know exactly how you feel right now. You know you feel something for him. Talking it out with him might help you figure out what those feelings are.”
“I hate that what you’re saying actually makes sense,” Sam replies, blinking rapidly to keep her tears at bay. The idea of telling Andy how she feels is terrifying. She knows he won’t feel the same and she knows it’ll mean losing him. Maybe not forever, but even losing him temporarily would feel Earth shattering. “I’m scared.”
“I know,” Jules says simply, squeezing her gently. “But what is it mom used to tell us?”
“The things that scare you are often the things that make life worth living,” Sam recites from memory.
“Exactly. And this is one of those things. Trust me on that,” she encourages. “No matter how it turns out, you’ll be telling your truth. I can’t imagine you’ll ever regret that.”
Sam’s brow creases. She takes a thoughtful moment to impatiently crunch on the rest of her lollipop, and then responds to her sister’s unfailing idealistic nature. “You’re far more optimistic than I am. Always have been.”
“You’re far too fatalistic. Not everything ends badly, sis. You just have to have a little faith, that’s all.”
“Easier said than done.”
“If you’re still on the fence about it, then go see the source of the wisdom herself,” Jules suggests. “I’m sure she and dad will be happy to help.”
Sam nods and takes a deep breath to calm herself. It barely helps, but she knows exactly what to do from here. Jules is right. It’s time to pull out the big guns.
Her parents always know the right thing to do. Jules may be right, but it wouldn’t hurt to get a second opinion.
******
Chapter 6: Chapter 5: Adulthood
Summary:
Moving on isn't always for the best.
Notes:
A/N: I normally don’t post on show night but I needed a distraction, lol. Have a chapter with some happy married Brettsey to pass the time on this stressful finale night.
Happy reading!
xoxo
******
Chapter Text
4 years ago…
Every year she attended the CFD picnic, even when her parents tried to let her off the hook. She enjoyed it. And this year it was especially important.
Making new connections would be good for her. She started her EMS training and needed to make sure people knew who she was apart from her Ambulance Commander mom and her Battalion Chief dad.
That year she did end up with a new connection, but it wasn’t a professional one.
Well, okay technically it was, but it was for personal intent so it didn’t count.
Aaron, a candidate over at 20, was cute and charming and hardworking. Definite boyfriend material. They spent the entire picnic talking and flirting and when it was over he’d asked her out on a date. So far, they’d been on four dates and, as far as she knew, they planned to go on many more. She liked him a lot.
It was time for the monthly dinner between the Caseys and the Severides tonight though and, while she’d managed to keep Aaron to herself thus far, she knew the time had come to mention him.
She walked through the door of her childhood home and immediately spotted Andy seated at the dinner table. She grinned fondly, but that grin quickly fell at the sight of the woman next to him.
Stephanie.
Andy’s long term live-in girlfriend.
She had nothing against Andy having a girlfriend. She wanted him to be happy after all. But this girlfriend hated her. From minute one Stephanie glared at her when she thought Andy wasn’t looking. Anytime they were alone the passive agressive verbal jabs monopolized their conversations. And, worst of all, Stephanie did everything she could to keep Sam and Andy from having any sort of one-on-one time.
He didn’t always bring her to these dinners, but every time he did Sam spent the entire evening feeling as if she were being watched and judged constantly. She despised it.
They sat down to dinner, Sam seated across from Andy while Stephanie sat so close to him she was basically on his lap. Jules was seated next to Sam and as soon as they began passing around the food, her sister made an announcement.
“You guys are never going to believe it!” Jules exclaimed.
“What?” Her Aunt Stella asked, smirking indulgently at Jules.
“Sam met someone!”
“Hey!” Sam said, smacking her older sister’s shoulder. “That was my news! Not yours! And also, why wouldn’t they believe that?”
“No offense,” Jules replied with a chuckle. “You just never go anywhere. You’re an adorable house cat of an introvert and we all love you, but it does limit your socialization options.”
“Yeah, well, jokes on you. Aaron is a house cat too. He actually likes to stay in.”
“Aaron, is it?” Her dad asked, lifting a brow in her direction. “Aaron, who?”
“I’m not gonna tell you,” she refused, primly. “He’s a candidate and I know this family. As soon as I tell you his last name you’ll all hunt him down and I plan to introduce him to you all slowly. Very, very, very slowly. Like so slow we move at a near glacial pace.”
“Sam!” Stephanie said, sounding overly enthusiastic. “This is wonderful news! It must be a weird adjustment though, after being single so long, I mean.”
Her mother narrowed her eyes on Stephanie for a split second before replacing her glare and frown with kind eyes and a wide smile.
“Take all the time you need, sweetheart,” Sylvie assured her. “We know we’re overwhelming. We wouldn’t want to scare him away.”
“I don’t think you could,” Lizzie added from the end of the table. “From what I hear they’ve been stuck to each other like glue.”
Sam blushed furiously and then turned another glare on her sister. She was the only person who knew about Aaron before tonight. There’s only one way Lizzie could have heard anything about him.
“And who did you hear that from?” She asked Lizzie, her gaze never wavering from Jules.
“In my defense,” Jules said with a sheepish smile, not bothering to let Lizzie answer. “It’s widely known that I am horrible with secrets.”
“Good,” her Uncle Kelly replied, leaning back in his chair with a smirk. “Then you can tell us this guy’s full name.”
If someone didn’t deescalate the curiosity now then they were headed for full on inquisition. And Jules knew she owed Sam for spilling her secrets to Lizzie so it was up to her. Plus, Sam had a feeling this would happen. Over the years, she learned to be very strategic with what information she gave her older sister. This situation is exactly why.
Jules raised her hands in front of her in a gesture of innocence. “No, I can’t. She hasn’t told me his full name. Hell, I wasn’t even sure Aaron was his first name until today. She’s been very tightlipped about it.”
“Good for you, Sammy,” Andy said as he met her eyes with an encouraging grin. “And I say keep it up. These nosy-nancys don’t need to know anything you don’t want to tell them.” He leaned halfway across the table by stretching out his lean, very fit, torso as if straining to point his ear toward her. His mother tried to scold him for hovering over all the food, but he held firm on his position — waiting for Sam. “But you’ll tell me, right? You know I’m trustworthy.”
Sam laughed, placing her hand on Andy’s forehead and pushing him back to his side of the table. “Keep dreaming. You’re worse than them. You’ll run a background check and have your buddies tail him. No, thank you.”
He chose not to reply, knowing she was right, and shrugged evasively with an unashamed tilted smirk hanging on his lips.
“That’s not a bad idea, actually,” her father grumbled from the other end of the table. Her mother shook her head and chuckled dryly.
“Matt Casey, you will do no such thing,” she chided, amusement dancing over her stern expression.
Dinner conversation moved on after that, only circling back to tease her about Aaron occasionally. They finished the main course and then had dessert in the living room while playing a chaotic game of charades. Her Uncle Kelly opted to clean the kitchen instead of playing, mumbling something about her parents having an unfair advantage. Sam knew exactly what he meant. Her parents could read each other freakishly well and that skill was always highlighted by a game of charades.
As expected, her parents wiped the floor with all of them. She and Jules came in second, Lizzie and Aunt Stella were third, leaving Andy and Stephanie last — with a whopping zero guesses correct. Honestly, it was painful to watch. For as long as they were together, Stephanie and Andy didn’t seem to know each other at all.
The night wound down and they all went home. The next month she invited Aaron to dinner and her family finally had their chance to get to know him themselves. He was a hit, especially with Andy. The two became fast friends. Sam couldn’t believe her luck. She found a guy her family liked almost as much as she did. It felt too good to be true. For the first few months she kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never did. Her tension eased, allowing her to relax and sink into the comfort of a stable relationship.
******
Yesterday…
She called her dad before she got in the car to drive over. As expected, he was thrilled to hear from her. He and her mom were both home and they had no plans to go out. So, naturally, they invited her over for an early dinner.
It took her a while to work up the nerve to ask for advice. It wasn’t until they were seated at the dinner table before she finally figured out how to begin.
“Before you got together, you were friends, right?” Sam asks, gnawing her bottom lip.
Her mother nods, narrowing her eyes. “Yes. Very good friends.” She takes a pause and then asks, “why?”
Her father says nothing, merely smirks with a knowing expression. Her reasons for asking couldn’t be more transparent to the parents who raised her.
“I’ve just been…considering how hard that must have been for you both,” she says, trying to maintain some semblance of privacy. “Taking the risk that it might not work out would have been pretty terrifying.”
“It was,” her dad replies, nodding slowly as he reminisces. “Sylvie was there for me through some very tough times. I didn’t want to lose that or do anything that would make her unhappy.”
Sylvie sighs, smiling thoughtfully as she reaches for Matt’s hand. “I didn’t want him to do anything he would regret or look back and realize maybe he didn’t care about me the way he believed he did. I guess we wanted the same thing. Deep down, I just wanted him to be happy and I wasn’t sure that I could make him happy. It ended up putting us in a holding pattern for a while.”
“How did you work it out?” Sam asks, pushing her food around on her plate. She should be hungry, but she can’t seem to bring herself to eat.
“Your dad put it all out there,” her mom informs her, sliding an adoring glance over to her father. “He spelled it out for me in a way I couldn’t take to mean anything else. If he hadn't done that, I’m not sure I would have let myself truly accept how I felt and what I wanted.”
Matt lifts Sylvie’s hand from the table and kisses her knuckles, smiling encouragingly. “You would have. It might have taken us a lot longer than it did, but you would have figured it out.”
Her mother laughs and rolls her eyes, squeezing his hand. “Think what you want. You always believe in me more than I do anyway.”
“Like that isn’t a mutual sentiment?” He teases, chuckling softly. He shakes his head at her mother’s modesty and then meets Sam’s eyes. “You see, that’s the best part about falling in love with your best friend. They see you better than anyone else and have no problem letting you know when you don’t have enough faith in yourself. Or when you’re letting your fear send you on a downward spiral. You can probably guess which of those two was more often my problem.”
Her father is a very passionate man, even if he doesn’t appear that way to someone on the outside. He cares deeply about his job, his city, and the people he loves. If he’s ever afraid he hasn’t served one of those three correctly, it’s been known to affect his mood. From a young age, she and Jules noticed how good their mother was at pulling him out of a funk. She was always the light in their father’s darkness, building him up when he felt he’d made a mistake. And it was reciprocal. Sylvie Brett-Casey didn’t always say no when she should and occasionally she took on too much. When the stress got to her or when she had a bad day, it was always their dad who would encourage her and talk her through it.
She grew up with parents who loved each other completely and unconditionally and that love extended to her and her sister. It’s easy some days to forget how fortunate she was to be raised in a house of warmth and affection. If nothing else, this conversation has reminded her of that. It also reminds her that everything she idolizes about their relationship -- all the things she wants for herself -- stem from their friendship. People always say friendship is the best foundation, but how often do you find an example of that? Here, in front of her at the dinner table, is the picture perfect depiction of an evergreen love that grew from mutual respect and admiration.
It always seemed like a fantasy growing up. The idea that maybe she and Andy could find that some day felt like an impossible dream. It felt so fantastical that she let it go. She made herself discount him as an option.
But maybe it wasn’t so unattainable after all…
“Everything okay, Sammy?” Her mother asks, brow furrowing in concern.
“Yeah,” she says dismissively, forcing a bright smile on her face. “Everything’s great.”
Her parents trade a look. They know she’s lying but they’re nice enough not to call her out at the dinner table.
“Well, you’re not asking,” Matt begins, grinning crookedly at her. “But I’ll say this, if you find someone you’d consider your best friend--”
“And who’s happiness means more to you than your own,” Sylvie adds, skimming a hand up and down her dad’s back.
“Yes, exactly,” he agrees, dipping his mouth to Sylvie’s temple for a quick kiss. “And you’re debating taking a chance to see what could come from it, I say go for it. You’ll always wonder if you don’t try. Trust me, Sammy, you don’t want any regrets hanging over your head. They only make it hard to move forward.”
Go for it, he says. He makes it sound so easy. But he’s right. She needs to know if Andy feels anything for her beyond friendship. All bottling it up does is keep her in a long and uncertain limbo and that can’t be good for anyone.
Now she just needs to work up the nerve to actually put her feelings into words -- the very thing she’s avoided for most of her life.
******
Chapter 7: Chapter 6: The Break Ups
Summary:
Some relationships are built to break, even if we're too stubborn to see it.
Notes:
A/N: Here’s today’s chapter! Regarding last night, if it’s open ended then I choose hope. Brettsey will make it work. If anyone can, they can.
But as for this story…it doesn’t even matter cause S10 didn’t happen in this universe, lol. So dig into this chapter and forget canon for a while.
Happy reading!
xoxo
******
Chapter Text
3 years ago…
Things with Aaron were going very well. He proved to be everything she thought he was in those initial first dates. He was three years older than her, the same age as Jules, and wanted nothing more than a long career in the fire service and to put down roots in Chicago. He was essentially everything she could ever want in a potential boyfriend.
Flashforward about three months after Aaron’s first family dinner and she was sleeping at his place more often than her off campus apartment. Sam started to imagine this relationship as the beginning of the rest of her life. Yes, she was still in college but she and Aaron were perfect in every way. They clicked in a way she had never clicked with anyone before.
He even happily accepted her friendship with Andy. He had no questions or suspicions the way others might have. Which was good because Andy ended up coming over to Aaron’s a lot when he needed a break from Stephanie. He and Aaron were actually friends. It was the first time Andy had approved of anyone she dated.
“I thought,” Andy said as Sam handed him a beer. “That this spot opening up in Intelligence would be something she and I could celebrate but instead it turned into part shouting match, part guilt trip about how she was supposed to sleep at night knowing I’m a part of such a dangerous unit. How is she supposed to sleep at night? Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t I the one running into these highly volatile situations? What about how do I sleep at night knowing these criminals are on the streets and I can do something about it?”
“Cut her some slack, Andy,” Sam replied with a sympathetic smile. “She didn’t grow up with public servants like we did. Not everybody understands that life.”
“Truer words,” Aaron said as he sat down next to her on the couch and draped an arm around Sam’s shoulders. “My parents hate that I’m a firefighter. I can’t tell them about anything that happens on shift without causing my mother to break down in tears and lay the worry on thick. She just needs some time to get used to it.”
Andy took a long swig of his drink and shook his head. “No, I don’t think that’s it. I just think she doesn’t like me very much. She might love me still, but I feel like she definitely doesn’t like me.”
Sam kept her mouth shut and willed herself not to nod in agreement. Be supportive, she chanted in her head. She tried to give Stephanie the benefit of the doubt the way her mom and her sister would but underneath the surface she was dying to tell Andy what she truly thought of Stephanie.
Stephanie didn’t like Andy very much from what Sam observed. Sure, she was attracted to Andy, but she seemed to always want to change him — make him someone else entirely. Which was crazy to Sam because Andy was one of the most compassionate, honorable, and brilliant men she’d ever known. There was a reason he was chosen for Intelligence. It meant he’d proven himself as one of the best deductive thinkers in the CPD. It was absolutely a reason to celebrate. Sam would never understand why Stephanie couldn’t see that no matter what she said to defend her.
“I think our relationship is on its last legs and Stephanie knows it,” Andy confessed. “And it’s easier to fight than admit it.”
That wouldn’t surprise Sam at all. It sounded very Stephanie. “Maybe,” she admitted, patting his shoulder consolingly.
Andy stared down at the beer bottle in his hand, peeling the corner of the label as he talked. “We’ve been together so long that I’m not sure how to end it. I mean really end it. Not one of our halfhearted temporary break ups.”
“I can’t say I’ve been in your situation before,” Sam began. “But my mom always says that getting through anything uncomfortable or difficult always begins with talking.”
“Yeah, mine says something similar,” Andy replied with a chuckle, standing up and downing the last of his beer. He rolled his shoulders and his neck while taking a deep fortifying breath. “Okay, here I go. I’m off to end a three year relationship.” He groaned with a deadpan expression. “Kill me now.”
“You got this, man,” Aaron encouraged. “You just have to rip off the band-aid.”
“Right, band-aid ripping. Good tip!” Andy said while heading to the door. Sam followed him to walk him out. When he reached it and stepped across the threshold he gave Sam a beseeching look. “Maybe you can come with me? Be my back up?”
She placed a hand on his shoulder with a solemn sympathetic glance. “There are some things you absolutely cannot have back up for and this is one of them. Especially because Stephanie hates me.”
“What? No, she doesn’t!”
“She does!” Aaron called from inside the apartment. “I’ve seen the claws come out up close and personal!”
Sam pointed back at her boyfriend to emphasize his point. “Thank you, babe! You see? Not just in my head.”
“Well, all the more reason to end it then. Can’t have my girl butting heads with my favorite Casey,” he replied with a teasing smirk.
She rolled her eyes and lightly shoved him, sending him stumbling into the hallway outside the apartment. “You’re not supposed to have favorites!”
“Yeah, right!” He scoffed. “Like I haven’t always been your favorite Severide.”
He had no idea how right he was.
“No comment,” she quipped with a sideways grin. “Good luck with your break up and if you need a place to crash our couch is open.”
“Be careful what you offer, I may have to take you up on it.”
He did, in fact, take them up on it, but only for a couple of weeks until he was able to work out a lease on a new place. She didn’t mind having him around. He was surprisingly much neater than she expected. Even Aaron didn’t do as much to keep the apartment clean as Andy did and it was his apartment!
After the break up, Andy decided to focus on his career. He dove into work and only came up for air once a week, popping up at Aaron’s door for pizza and a movie more often than not.
For her part, Sam focused on school and Aaron. After she graduated, they got an apartment together, with both their names on the lease. It was a monumental step for her. She’d never lived with anyone before. On her birthday that fall Aaron gave her a small but beautiful diamond pendant necklace. He called it a pre-engagement gift and told her he wanted more money saved up and time on the job before they made it official. She agreed and said she’d like to get her feet under her as a paramedic before she even considered planning a wedding.
They were on the exact same page and she hoped they would stay on that page. She thought they were happy and maybe they were, but even now she finds it hard to believe they would have fallen apart so quickly if Aaron was truly happy.
She entered the Academy for paramedic training, and spent the rest of her time gaining experience as a floater at different houses across the city. Most people hated being a floater but Sam loved it. She learned more about the city and the job as a floater than she would have by being permanently stationed at one house, but eventually she started to crave consistency. As luck would have it, a paramedic spot opened up at 51.
She was brought in for a couple of shifts to see how well she would work with their current PIC. Jokes on the CFD though because she already knew she’d work extremely well with them.
“Cruz!”
She was quickly shushed and then scooped up into a spinning hug.
“It’s Otis around here or else dad gets confused.”
“Isn’t your dad retired?” She asked as she pulled back with a furrowed brow.
“Like that would stop him from hanging out around the Firehouse,” Cruz said with a scoffing laugh. “Get real, Sammy. What about you? Your dad’s never gonna retire, ever, aren’t you worried about working for him forever?”
She waved him off. “If he can make peace with Jules at a busy house running into burning buildings then he can deal with me on Ambo 61. Besides, I’m not the reckless child. They trust me more than they’ve ever trusted Jules.”
Otis snorted in amusement and nodded. “Harsh but true.”
“Please, Jules is well aware and proud of it.”
“I have no doubt,” Cruz replied with a grin. “Go get changed, I’ll meet you in the Chief’s office after bells up.”
Once she finished changing clothes, she headed to the Chief’s office early, knowing her dad would want a minute alone before Cruz arrived.
“Chief,” she said, nodding solemnly at her father while trying to keep from grinning.
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth too as he came around to stand in front of his desk, nodding at her in return. “Casey.”
On the outside she appeared calm and collected but inside she was screaming, “Oh my god, I’m riding in mom’s old rig! Ambo 61, dad! That’s the dream!” But she’d inherited her dad’s instinctual stoicism and all of that exuberance stayed locked away — only clear to someone who knew her very well.
Like her father.
“I take it you’ve already seen Otis this morning,” Chief Casey said as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the desk.
She nodded and unconsciously mimicked his stance. “First thing.”
“How’s it feel working here instead of visiting?” He asked with a small smirk.
“Surreal,” she answered. Doubts began to creep in as the magnitude of the potential transfer finally began to hit her. She was okay working with her dad, but could he handle it, truthfully? “Are you sure you’re okay with this? I mean, me being at a busy house is one thing but at your busy house—“
“I’m sure. You belong here, Munch—“ He cut off the nickname before it could fully leave his lips and chuckled dryly. “Gonna have to figure out how to separate Munchkin from Casey now. I won’t lie and say it’ll be easy, but I’m willing to do the work to help you end up where you want to be. That’s still Ambo 61, isn’t it?”
She gave him a rare beaming smile and a firm nod. “Absolutely.”
“Then work harder than you’ve ever worked these next two shifts and hopefully I’ll be signing your transfer order.”
“Sir, yes, sir.”
She followed her Chief’s orders to the letter and gave 61 her all over the next two shifts. She and Brian made a great team. Everyone at the house could see it. By the end of her second shift on 61, Otis had already asked her to stay on.
At first, Aaron was thrilled for her. He knew the first goal in her plan was working on her mom’s old rig. But as the shifts went on and it became clear 51 was a hectic house, the more anxious he seemed. She tried to be understanding and patient, but if her parents weren’t constantly hovering and checking in then why should Aaron? Eventually, she stopped telling him about work. The conversation always ended with him joking about asking her to quit working at a trouble magnet house like 51. He played it off as teasing but she could see the genuine question in his expression.
He wanted to ask but he never actually would and somehow that was worse. After a while, he stopped talking about his shifts as well. And then he ended up having to switch shifts all together because of a clash with his Lieutenant (that he refused to tell her about) which meant they saw each other less than they used to. They had a 24 hour overlap twice a week, otherwise they only ever caught each other in passing.
And when they were together, the awkward silence was oppressive.
They were growing apart and they both knew it. The picture in her mind of the future she once imagined they’d have together faded more and more every day.
They didn’t fight. They barely ever slept together. They simply orbited each other as indifferently as possible. Honestly, she’d rather they fight. At least then she’d know he felt something.
After several months of this, she’d had enough. They needed to talk about it. She got permission to get off early and found someone to cover the last twelve hours of her shift. She’d been planning it for a few days but decided to keep it a surprise for Aaron. She wasn’t sure he would agree to talk to her otherwise. He’d gotten very skilled at avoiding her and redirecting the conversation lately.
Her keys jingled loudly as she walked through the door. The smell of something phenomenal hit her nose. Aaron was cooking? He hadn’t cooked in a very long time. That must mean he’s in a good mood. It might make getting him to talk to her easier.
She could also hear music playing in the kitchen. It was soft and slow, but she didn’t know the song. She assumed Aaron was in the kitchen and turned the corner to find him.
And find him she did.
She found him standing half naked between another woman’s legs as she perched on their countertop. They were practically swallowing each other whole. Aaron’s hands were bunching up the woman’s skirt and gathering it at her waist, oblivious to the world around them. At that moment, Sam realized Aaron hadn’t heard her come in.
So now she had a choice.
Make a scene or leave.
She was her parents’ daughter so making a scene was never her first choice. Spinning on her heel, she quietly marched toward their bedroom, packed a bag, dropped her diamond pendant on his nightstand, and left him a very succinct note.
Aaron,
Fuck you. It’s over.
I’ll be back for the rest of my stuff later.
Your ex-girlfriend,
Sam
She threw the strap of her duffle over her shoulder and left the apartment, allowing herself the satisfaction of slamming the door behind her.
The only problem was, once she left she didn’t know where to go. Her dad was on shift and her mom was out of town at a conference, having been appointed the CFD’s representative to plead the case for an overhaul of the 9-1-1 system. Her parents’ house was out. Jules took an extra shift for the overtime. She wasn’t home either. She had other friends, sure, but she didn’t want just anyone. She wanted comfort. There were only so many people in the world who could offer that to her.
Before she even realized she made a decision, she was on the way to Andy’s apartment and parking outside of his building.
She texted him that she was on her way up but didn’t explain why. His only reply was a thumbs up emoji. She always knew she could count on Andy unconditionally. He understood that she would talk when she wanted to talk and until then all she needed was support.
His door was unlocked when she reached it. Stepping through, she dropped her duffle by his door.
“Can I crash on your couch tonight?” She asked as she locked the door behind her.
Andy stepped out of his kitchen at her question and leaned against the doorway, eyes narrowing on her warily. “Sure,” he answered as he paused to take a sip of his beer. “But why?”
“Because Aaron’s currently using our place to cheat on me with a leggy brunette,” she stated, shrugging disingenuously.
Andy choked on his second sip with visceral surprise, his eyes flaring with rage. “The fuck? He’s what?”
“Didn’t even notice I came home. He was too busy disrobing and sucking her face off,” she rambled, pausing to scoff bitterly. “It’s a good thing I’m moving out because that kitchen counter will never be truly clean ever again.”
“I’m sorry. I had to have heard you wrong. Aaron, the dullest man on the planet, cheated on you?”
“He’s not dull,” Sam replied defensively. Though she didn’t understand why she felt the need to defend him still. Dull or not, he proved himself to be an asshole. “At least not the dullest man on the planet anyway.”
“You know after someone cheats on you, you’re allowed to talk shit about them.” There was barely contained amusement in Andy’s voice that he paired with an underlying anger. “I can’t believe I actually liked that guy for you. He seemed so safe and normal.”
“Yeah, well, never judge a book by its cover. Do you have any ice cream?”
“No, but I have whiskey.”
“That’ll do. Gimme it.”
He nodded and stepped back into his kitchen to fetch a glass, but she held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t need that. Just give me the damn bottle.”
“I’m not gonna give you an entire bottle of Jack.”
“Yes, you are. I just wasted over a year of my life and I deserve to drown my sorrows,” she argued while holding out her right hand expectantly. “Give me the bottle and a deck of cards.”
“Why?” He asked curiously.
“Do you work tomorrow?”
“No.”
“Good. Then we’re having a drunken game night. Starting with a rousing game of Slap Jack,” she demanded. Right now she wanted to forget all of her troubles. Alcohol and oddly aggressive games were a tried and true coping mechanism for the Casey Girls. She blamed their parents for all those weekly game nights they forced them to attend while growing up.
“Oh, hell no,” Andy replied, recoiling and hiding the bottle of whiskey behind his back. “I’ve played Slap Jack with a pissed off Casey sister before. I’m not doing that ever again. I think your sister broke my finger last time.”
“Fine! Then War. Safe enough for you?” Sam asked. She supposed it was because he gingerly pulled the glass bottle out from behind him, holding it out to her hesitantly.
She wordlessly snatched it out of his hand, opened it, and took a gulping sip. It burned all the way down. It was exactly what she needed. Well, half of what she needed.
“I’m on my way to drunk,” she told him, lifting the bottle to her lips again. “Now, I just need your cards.”
He sighed and watched her take another large swallow with a worried glance. “Fine, but give me your phone and your keys. If you’re gonna get drunk then you’re not driving or calling Aaron the Asshole. Deal?”
He held out his hand for a shake and she immediately took it. He was giving her exactly what she wanted and she was giving up very little in return. It was perfect. “Deal! We Caseys always need a game night to destress so whatever you need from me, I’ll do it.”
“I’m aware. I’ve unfortunately attended a lot of those game nights,” he teased. “The secret telepathic language of the Caseys is spooky.”
“Yeah, but there’s no other Caseys here tonight,” she pointed out with a smirk. “Just me and you and Jack Daniels.”
He nodded his head toward his living room, leading her and the bottle of whiskey clutched in her hand out of the kitchen. He opened a drawer in his coffee table and pulled out a cheap deck of cards branded with a picture of the Las Vegas sign on the box. He shuffled the cards and then split the deck between them. They sat on opposite ends of his couch with the discard pile in the middle. Folding her legs underneath her, she placed the open bottle of Jack on the coffee table within her reach.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Andy asked as they laid down their first two cards.
Her card was higher so she won. She swiftly and casually pulled the cards toward her. “I’m not sure what there is to say. He’s been moody and distant since I started at 51 and we hardly ever see each other and whenever we do he’s never actually with me. His mind was always somewhere else. At least now I know what or who he was thinking about on those days.” She snorted harshly.
An acidic taste flooded her mouth. She wasn’t sure if it was the Jack or her delayed fury and hurt. It must have been the latter because a moment later tears blurred her vision. None of them fell but her sniffle was loud, preventing her from hiding the wetness in her eyes from Andy. Despite the lack of tear stained cheeks he knew she was wounded, but he stayed silent. He let her process the emotions in her own time. She cleared her throat as they threatened to overwhelm her. She would not cry over Aaron. He didn’t deserve her tears. Her relationship had been over for weeks, only she hadn’t known it. She went from having a future and a plan to being back at square one.
Mentally running through all the signs she ignored over the last several months didn’t help. She felt like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. “Honestly, I feel like I should have seen this coming. Which is just absolutely humiliating.”
“Come on,” Andy replied with a shake of his head. “If I didn’t see it coming then I wouldn’t have expected you to see it either. Aaron’s a smoke eater, sure, but he doesn't take a lot of risks apart from that. Cheating on you is a big risk. Not one worth taking as far as I’m concerned, but assholes gonna asshole, I guess.”
She sighed tiredly as she won another hand. “I was gonna talk to him tonight anyway to find out where we stood. I didn’t know if that meant breaking up or fixing it, but now I do. He made that choice a hell of a lot easier. Not to mention, we’ve essentially been nothing more than roommates for months and I need more. No -- I deserve more. And if he can’t give me that then I’ll find someone who can.”
Andy smiled proudly at her, nodding his agreement. “Damn straight you will. You deserve to have everything you want from a partner and more, Sammy. I’ve always thought that.” His smile fell and darkness slid across his face. “I’m sorry you had to go through this to see that for yourself though. That’s not right.”
“No, it isn’t, but sometimes life sucks. I just...I really thought Aaron was the guy. Before I started at 51, I was sure we were forever. After that though, things became weird and strained. For the first time since our first date I really started to doubt us. He can’t be my one and only if it only took a handful of weeks for us to fall apart like this. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. I mean, how am I ever going to trust my instincts again?”
“Your instincts are fine,” he reassured her, setting his cards aside to focus on their conversation. He met her eyes, his hand fisting an uncurling on the table. For a moment she thought he might reach for her, but he wrapped it around his beer bottle instead — bringing it up to hold between both of his hands. He switched between idly rolling it in his palms and tapping it with his thumbs as he continued, as if he for some reason needed to keep his hands busy to speak. “You sensed when it all started going bad, didn’t you? Yeah, maybe you kept hoping it would get better and stuck around but initially your gut told you something wasn’t right. That was your instinct. Everything after that was you being a Casey and giving him a chance to turn it all around. You and your sister and your parents, I’ve been around all of you my whole life. You all constantly look for the best in people. It’s remarkable and no one wants any of you to lose that ability. Especially me. Don’t let a moron like Aaron take that away from you. Personally, I don’t know what I’d do if you let him change you. Without people like you, offering second and third chances, I’d never make it. It’s people like me who need you most.”
She didn’t know how to respond to that or why he thought he needed someone to see the best in him. His best was always on full display. To her at least. And anyone who couldn’t see how good he was didn’t matter.
But she appreciated his encouragement. Her parents raised her and Jules with a sense of faith in people and a philosophy of second chances. Andy knew better than most how that backfired over the years and yet he still believed it served her well. His belief in her allowed her to put away the doubt. He was right. It was not her fault that Aaron took advantage.
But next time her instincts tried to tell her something, she planned to listen.
******
Chapter 8: Chapter 7: Last Night
Summary:
Can we talk about last night?
Notes:
A/N: And now we have finally reached the point of “Last Night”. This and the next chapter might be my favorite chapters! I hope you enjoy it too!
Happy reading!
xoxo
******
Chapter Text
Last night…
Sam has never been this nervous in her life. Her parents and her sister all made some excellent points. She’ll always wish she’d said something if she doesn’t now and just because she can go back to her ex and make it work doesn’t mean she should. Making something work and being happy about making it work are two different things.
In order to seriously move forward, she has to tell Andy. If he doesn’t share any feelings then a step back might be necessary to save her from getting any more attached to him than she already is. If he does then…
Well, she doesn’t know what she’ll do. It never occurred to her that he might seriously have feelings for her too. Not until her family brought it up. She pulls over and parks along the sidewalk, just down the block from Molly’s. As she steps out and moves toward the door she sees Andy searching for a parking spot. He should be just a minute or so behind her. She’ll find a table, order their drinks, and go over her speech again while she waits.
The door to the bar swings open as she approaches and a tall willowy redhead steps out. Sam is petite like her mother and has a more tawny shade of blonde hair like her father. Her sister inherited what little height their gene pool has along with their mother’s perfect, all natural, mix of platinum and golden blonde. Sam got what was left over, leaving her looking very unremarkable — in her mind anyway.
But this woman…she is stunning.
They nearly collide. Sam catches herself on the wall. She turns to ask if the other woman is alright, looking her in the eyes for the first time. Blinking in shock, she realizes this stunning amazon is familiar.
They went to school together. Ashley, she recalls. Her name is Ashley.
“Oh my god!” Ashley says excitedly, scurrying up to Sam in her three inch heels. “Sarah, right? Jules Casey’s little sister?”
Sam swallows down an irritated huff, forcing a pleasant smile. “It’s Sam, actually.”
“Right! Oh my god, I remember you! You used to tag along with Jules everywhere. How is she? How are you?”
She didn’t tag along everywhere. Only when Jules or their parents insisted and since the Casey sisters have always been close, Jules insisted a lot. “She’s good. She’s a firefighter with the CFD now actually —“
“You mean she actually went through with that?” Ashley asks in delight. “Good for her. What about you?”
“I’m a paramedic.”
Ashley giggles and nods. The giggle is mocking, even though she tries to hide it. “Still tagging along then?”
Suddenly, Sam can place Ashley for more than just her name. Her ruthlessness brings forward vibrantly awful memories. She was on the cheer squad with Jules and never her sister’s favorite person. But Jules, like their mother, gives everyone an inordinate amount of slack, whether they deserve it or not.
“We work at separate houses so…no.” Sam answers, no longer bothering to hide her annoyance. “Well, it was good running into you, Amy —“
“Ashley,” she admonishes. “I’m Ashley.”
Sam snaps her fingers, feigning recognition. “Right! Sorry, Ashley. I’d love to catch up but I’m actually meeting someone here so I should probably go.”
She’s a split second from walking away when Andy’s voice reaches her from the edge of the street. “Good! I caught you just in time.”
Ashley’s eyes light up at the sight of Andy Severide in snug jeans, a button down flannel, and a leather jacket. It takes every bit of control Sam has to stop herself from letting loose a begrudging laugh. Here we go. Ashley’s yet another strikingly beautiful woman ready to throw herself at Andy. She fights the insecurity that threatens to rear its ugly head.
“Andy!” She says, stepping toward him as he comes to a stop at Sam’s left. “Oh my god, it’s been forever. Imagine running into you here!”
Andy looks completely lost. There’s not a trace of recognition on his face. “Uh, yeah! Wow! Small world!”
“I don’t think I’ve seen you since Hannah’s graduation party. God, that feels like a lifetime ago.”
Ashley seems completely oblivious to Andy’s indifference to her and, Sam has to admit, she’s loving it. But he does recognize the name Hannah. His gaze slides self consciously to Sam’s.
“That’s because it was a lifetime ago,” he replies. “Hannah’s married with a couple of kids now.”
“And you’re still single,” Ashley says, her eyes scanning Andy’s left hand. “Can’t say I’m surprised. You were always a heartbreaker.”
He laughs but the sound is full of discomfort. So, Ashley’s not out to only hit Sam where it hurts, but Andy as well. Although, it feels like an insult to the two of them because Andy’s let her in on his fears and regrets. Ashley may not even realize she’s dealt a stinging blow. Women like her make it hard to tell. Their cruelty is deceptively casual.
Andy slings an arm around Sam’s shoulders and reels her into his side. He’s as antsy for an exit from this conversation as Sam is. “It was good to see you again. Um — I’m sorry I can’t recall your name?”
“Ashley,” she grits through a tense smile. Her gaze falls on Andy’s arm as it rests comfortably on Sam’s shoulders causing her eyes to flash vengefully. Her eyes betray her smile as she continues to speak. “Can I just say, it’s so cute that you two still hang out. I mean, given the way Sam used to follow you around like a little lost puppy this friendship you guys have could have totally gotten awkward. Crushes can really do a number on friendships, you know? I’m glad to see you outlasted it.”
Emotionally, Sam feels as if the wind has been knocked out of her, but physically she refuses to show it. Ashley is trying to get a rise out of her and Sam refuses to let her win. She’s been a target of jealousy before. It happens when everyone seems to want your best friend. But she won’t let Ashley see how much she’s thrown her off balance.
Even if this bitch just completely outed her.
She opts for still and silent, terrified of what she’ll do to Ashley if she moves or makes the slightest noise. She will not lose her shit on this small petty person who’s long been irrelevant to her life.
Andy’s arm tenses around her and his eyes narrow dangerously. “You know what, now that I think about it, I do remember you.”
Ashley’s eyebrows lift curiously and her smiles brightens. “You do?”
“You’re the cheerleader who got so drunk before Homecoming our senior year, that you threw up in Darren’s helmet during the game,” he answers, a sharp smirk pulling at his lips. “They removed you from the Homecoming court, right? Made you dry out in the nurse’s office, I think?”
Ashley flushes and sputters as she angrily tries to gather her wits. She must not have a lot of them to locate because her response is weak at best. “I did not! That was not me! You’re thinking of someone else.”
Andy shakes his head, chuckling softly. “I guess I could be. But we didn’t go to school with many redheads. Anyway, we’ll let you get back to your night. Good seeing you again, Amanda!”
“It’s Ashley!” She yells as Andy uses the arm he has around Sam to pull her inside the bar.
She wishes she could enjoy the scene Andy made on her behalf but she’s still caught in a whirlwind of panic over Ashley-Amy-Amanda attempting to sabotage her. Jesus, as much as Sam hates to admit it, Ashley is right. She did follow him around and hang on his every word until her sophomore year. Her crush was pathetically obvious to everyone but Andy, and the only reason he didn’t see it is because he didn’t want to. She’s basically been his kid sister their whole lives. Does she truly think that’s ever going to change? They’re closer than they ever have been before but that doesn’t mean that he could…
“You okay?” Andy asks, interrupting her thoughts, as they sit down on the two barstools furthest away from the door.
“Fine,” she lies, flagging down Lee Henry. She needs a drink, and she needs it now.
His stare is skeptical. She knows he doesn’t believe her. “Whoever that chick was, she’s an asshole. Ignore her.”
“Whiskey, please — neat,” Sam orders when Lee Henry finally looks her way. “Did she really throw up in Darren’s helmet?”
“Hell if I know. That story was true, but I have no fucking Idea who Amanda —“
“Ashley.”
He rolls his eyes dismissively. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t remember her. Maybe she did throw up in Darren’s helmet or maybe it was some other cheerleader. I can’t say I give a shit given the way she talked to and about you.”
She bites her bottom lip as a wave of grateful affection washes over her. Andy Severide has been her constant companion these last few years. He’s always there when she needs him. Her safe space isn’t a room or a firehouse. No, her safe space is him. After spending most of her life trying to fight her feelings, a long overdue realization hits her in that moment.
She’s failed. Those feelings have never gone away and since they’ve become closer they’ve only intensified.
******
2 years ago…
Not long after their break ups, she and Andy made each other their emergency contacts. Their forms needed to be updated and for Sam, her family might be hard to get a hold of if they were all out on calls. She and Aaron had worked different shifts, it made things easier. But no way in hell she was letting that cheating asshole be her first contact in the event she’s hurt at work. When she mentioned this to Andy, he suggested they use each other. His forms all had Stephanie’s name on them and needed to be updated anyway. She’d agreed on the spot. There’s no one she’d rather have show up for her than Andy.
And, apparently, he felt the same about her.
But she never once imagined the day the CPD would have to use that information. She should have. Their jobs are dangerous; she should have braced herself.
Luckily, she was off shift when her phone rang and able to race straight to the hospital.
Sergeant Boden was waiting for her at the emergency room entrance. Terrified this was much more serious than he let on over the phone, she met his eyes hesitantly.
Terrence’s hand found her shoulder and squeezed. “He’s fine. It was just a graze and a hit to the head. I’m sending him home as a precaution. The doc says there’s no signs of a concussion.”
Her shoulders slumped in relief as she exhaled slowly, nodding along with the diagnosis. “Good. That’s good.”
“But,” Boden continued hesitantly. “He’s taking this case pretty personally.”
“What happened?” She asked, brows knitted together in concern.
“I should let him tell you, but it’s a rough one,” Terrence warned her. “You should talk to him. He’s in the second bay to the right.”
“Thanks, Sarge,” Sam said as she sprinted off to find Andy.
When she found him, he was sitting on the edge of a hospital bed, eyes red and raw with a large bump on his forehead, while being stitched up. He swallowed thickly and winced as the stitches were completed.
“I’ll get your discharge papers,” the Doctor said as he stood up and smiled politely.
“Thanks,” Andy replied, forcing a strained grin as he left the curtained off room. Though it looked more like a grimace to her.
“Hey there, bruiser,” Sam said softly as she leaned against the foot of the bed.
He jerked up to look at her with an expression of grateful surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“Emergency contact, remember?” She asked, stepping closer. “Boden called me.” Recognition dawned on his face, as if he’d forgotten their deal. She reached out and gently grabbed his chin between her thumb and pointer finger, tilting the bump on his head toward the light. She scrunched her nose up in concern as she studied the mottled skin and the knot at his hairline — grateful he was sitting to even out their height difference. “Oof, somebody cold cocked you pretty good, huh?”
“You noticed that?” He asked, one corner of his mouth turned up. “Tell me it at least looks badass and not like I was knocked over the head by Bugs Bunny.”
She snickered quietly at him, choosing to ignore the hint of sadness in his eyes. Without thinking, she slid her hand back from his chin to his cheek and let her thumb trace over his face soothingly. “But seriously,” she began, pausing to make sure she held his stare. “Are you okay?”
He blew out a shaky breath and placed his hand on top of hers, stalling her caress. “I don’t know. Right now the only thing I know for sure is that I wanna get the hell out of here as soon as possible.”
“Copy that,” she replied, sympathetically. “As soon as they come back with your papers we can go.”
He pulled her hand from his cheek, but didn’t let it go. He kept it cradled gently in his lap as they waited for him to be officially discharged. Andy’s a touchy-feely guy, always has been, but this felt different. Desperate. It made her want to get him home faster. Maybe he would talk to her once they were alone.
“What were the stitches about?” She asked, nodding toward his arm.
“Saved a guy, who probably didn’t deserve it, and a bullet missed me by a hair,” he explained brusquely. “I’m fine. No permanent damage.”
“A bullet?” She repeated, eyes watering. Her imagination was running away with her, but she couldn’t stop thinking about how different this could have been if that shot had moved even one millimeter.
He squeezed her hand as if he sensed her impending spiral. “Sammy, it’s all good. I promise.”
She nodded, closing her eyes and breathing intently. She willfully pushed away any scary scenarios threatening to intrude on them. There was no point in pondering tragedies that didn’t happen. “I believe you,” she assured him. “If you want to talk, you know I’m here, right?”
He chuckled dryly and sighed. “Boden mentioned I’m not doing so hot, emotionally speaking, didn’t he?”
“He’s concerned,” she admitted, placing her other hand on his bicep. “He just said it was a rough one. That’s all.”
“It was,” Andy confessed. “And didn’t end the way it should have.”
The darkness in his tone intrigued her, as did the way he refused to meet her eyes. She wanted to ask more, but the doctor came back to discharge him and then that started a whole conversation about aftercare for his stitches and his head wound. By the time they were headed out the door, Sam wasn’t sure how or what to ask. Ultimately, she decided to let Andy dictate where the conversation went. She didn’t want to force him to talk before he was ready.
“Are you hungry?” She asked as they settled into her car. “We can stop for something on the way back to your place.”
“Starving. Is the taco truck near my place okay with you?”
She chuckled and gave him a knowing glance. “I’m surprised you even have to ask. You know, I never say no to tacos.”
When they finally walked through his door later, it was clear Andy’s energy levels were waning. She assumed she wouldn’t get anything else out of him for the rest of the night. They ate, binged a little of The Bachelor (a guilty pleasure passed down to Andy by his mom), and Sam told Andy all about the recent prank war at 51 that was far more trouble than it was worth. When he started to drift off, she rose from the couch and started to clean up. The last thing Andy would need tomorrow is to wash their leftover dishes.
Once she was done, she nudged him awake. A fond smile formed on her face as he shook himself and tried to act as though he’d never been asleep in the first place.
“You should move to your bed instead of dozing on the couch like our dads do during Blackhawks games,” she teased, poking his uninjured arm.
“You did not just compare me to our dads,” Andy replied in mock outrage. “Take that back.”
She held her hands up, palms out, as if to recuse herself of any wrongdoing. “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck—“
“They’re old, Sam! I am in the prime of my life. That’s an unfair assessment.”
Her eyes narrowed as she pretended to consider his point. “Fine, I guess I’ll cut you some slack. You’ve had a long day.”
“Yeah, no shit. I was almost shot after all. I think I earned a nap.”
She flinched at the flippant way he joked about it, as if he didn’t almost end up critically injured — or worse. “Yeah. That’s…that’s true.”
She turned away from him to gather their empty cups. As she reached for the glass in front of him, his hand grabbed hers. Their fingers tangled together and he squeezed, drawing her blue eyes to his.
“Sorry,” he mumbled self consciously. “I don’t mean to make light of it but I…I don’t know how else to cope.”
“I get it. Sometimes a joke is the only way to deal,” she replied, setting the glasses back down. She faced him again, a hesitant question on her lips. She debated her options and decided to try the direct approach. As she sat down next to him, she nudged his arm and spoke. “You could try talking about it. Maybe.”
He heaved a big sigh and stared at her out of the corner of eyes. For a moment she thought he would leave her hanging forever and stonewall her until she left him alone. Just when she was considering giving up, he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. He looked anxious as he leaned forward and rested his forearms on his thighs. “You remember that murder case I picked up after lunch yesterday? The scene was near 51 as I was visiting you at 51?”
“Yeah, I remember,” she answered, feeling more than a little scared of what comes next.
“The victim was a woman. A young single woman -- pretty new to town. Didn’t really have any friends around. But her coworkers told us she had a boyfriend. He’d meet her in the office lobby after she got off work but other than that they didn’t know much about him. So, of course, he becomes our number one suspect.”
“Right,” Sam agreed. She wasn’t a detective but her train of thought would have gone there too.
“This guy…this guy was an asshole, Sammy. An abusive, lying, cheating asshole. And not just to our victim. To his wife too.”
Her eyebrows shot up and her mouth dropped open. “His wife?”
Andy scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, his wife. At first, she refused to believe that our victim was in any way associated with her husband and she wouldn’t have anything to do with us, but I…I got her to talk to me. I got the feeling she was more embarrassed than actually in denial, you know? Reminded me of you a little bit. That first night after--”
She nodded, cutting him off. “After Aaron.”
“Yeah, I encouraged her. Let her know she wasn’t alone. That her husband had everyone fooled. On the outside he seemed like a stand up guy -- but my unit knew the truth. She could talk to us. And that’s…that’s when the full story came out. About how manipulative he is and how small and dependent he made her feel and then we got the real goods.”
“Oh yeah?” Sam asked reluctantly. “What were those?”
“She decimated his alibi. He tried to say he was with her on the night our victim died. She gave us a receipt she found in his coat pocket, from a parking garage near the victim’s apartment. Where we found her. After that, everything else fell into place. We had a solid case. It was just a matter of charging him. Should have been a piece of cake,” Andy told her, shaking his head. “I just forgot to think about how aggressive someone can get when they’ve been caged in too long and the wife -- well, she’d been kept in a cage for far too many years.”
A pit formed in the middle of her stomach. She could see where this was going. She hoped she was wrong because if she guessed correctly then…God, life could be a really unjust bitch sometimes.
“Goodwin and I showed up to arrest him. He went around the back in case the husband decided to run and I went in the front. The wife answered the door and let me in and then…” He pauses and points to the black and blue knot on his head. “Next thing I know, I’m waking up to her screaming at her husband and waving a gun in both our faces. She’s locked all the doors and I can’t get out without spooking her. The murdering husband wouldn’t shut his stupid fucking mouth and kept trying to provoke her. SWAT ending up breaking the door down, her finger slipped on the trigger and I had shielded the bastard who started all of this, nearly catching a bullet for him. The wife was scared and cornered and reflexively she -- she turned the gun on the cops.”
Sam grimaced and grabbed his hand, rubbing his back with her other one. He didn’t need to tell her for her to know what happened next. “Oh god, Andy.”
“As far as I’m concerned, the son of a bitch killed two women. Not that the courts will see it that way,” he grumbled, scrubbing a hand over his head and down his face. “I should have been able to deescalate the situation. Hell, I shouldn’t have let her surprise me in the first place, but I felt for her. This man put her through hell and made her wear a smile through every single bit of it. That would drive any person to a breakdown.” He closed his eyes and pressed the heel of his free hand into one of them. “I told her I would help her. That she’d be rid of him if she helped us. And then in the end -- I couldn’t keep a single promise I made just like him.”
“Oh hell no,” Sam said immediately, glaring at him as he hunched forward. “You and that bastard are nothing alike, Andy. You did what you could for her but she made her own choices. You know as well as I do that we can’t save everyone. No matter how badly we want to.”
“What if I’m more like him than I want to be? What if I can’t help it? I mean, you knew me in high school and college. Until Stephanie I never dated the same girl for more than two weeks. I told myself it was a mutual arrangement and no one was getting hurt but I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t some overlap. I was an arrogant asshole back then. I didn’t think about anything beyond that present moment or how what I was doing made anyone else feel.” He stops and laughs but it’s a bitter and hollow sound. She hates it immediately. Andy has the best genuine booming laugh. It should never sound that thin and empty. “God, no wonder you gave me that nickname. I hated it every time you said it but you were right. You knew exactly who I was.”
Nickname? “What are you talking about?”
He faced her to give her a surprised yet expectant look, as if he doesn’t think she can’t actually be that oblivious. “Oh, come on. Mr. Bide-My-Time. You’ve been calling me that since high school.”
She hadn’t thought about that nickname in years. Not since he’d met Stephanie and even before then she’d used it sparingly. That fit him in high school, sure. But they were in high school. It fit a lot of other guys back then too. So, not only had Andy witnessed a traumatizing event but it had brought back all of these damaging insecurities along with it. No wonder he was taking this case so personally. She felt horrible for ever coming up with that nickname in the first place. It was born out of spite on a day when he was annoying the hell out of her and it wasn’t at all fair. He might think he earned it, but had he really? Looking back, she didn’t think so.
“Andy I…God, have you been carrying this around all these years?” She asked, scooting back from him on the couch to take in his entire expression.
He swallowed thickly and studied his hands, avoiding looking at her at all costs. “It didn’t bother me too much at first, but eventually it felt like a label more than a nickname.”
“I never thought -- Jesus. I never realized that it would hurt you the way that it has.”
“No, Sammy, that’s not why I brought it up. I’m not looking for an apology. You had your own point of view of who I was and you can’t really help that. I didn’t let many people see anything else for a long time.” The guilt and hurt in his eyes was more than she could take and it was caused by her carelessness.
Being young was no excuse. It was true that he hurt her that day by treating her like a kid. She wanted him to stop and turning the discussion on him seemed the only way, but he didn’t deserve the judgment she placed on him. Not then and certainly not now.
She turned on the couch, tucking one leg underneath her, and grabbed both of his hands. It forced him to turn to face her as well. He was too polite to ignore her.
“I know you’re not looking for an apology, but you deserve one--”
“Sam, really--”
“Please, let me say this.”
His lips pursed and his shoulders tensed, but eventually he nodded. She knew that’s all the acknowledgement she was going to get at that moment.
“First, let me say again, you did everything you could for that woman today. I know I wasn’t there, but I also know you. You’re good and loyal and caring. No matter what else you think you are or whatever other labels people, including myself, have tried to put on you, that's who you are. The truth is, you came into that woman’s life a little too late. She needed someone like you much earlier. There wasn’t anything you could have done to prevent the choices she made,” Sam reiterated, wanting to make sure he heard her this time. “And as for that horrible nickname which I will never utter again for the rest of our lives…” She lets her sentence fade away as she tries to gather the perfect words to express how she feels about him now, in the present.
She pulled his hands to her, into her lap, urging him closer along with them. “You are my best friend. I hope you know that. But when we were kids, I came to some quick and unfair judgements. So you dated a lot of people? We all did. That’s what happens in your teens and twenties, Andy. People date and it doesn’t always work out. It’s messy and painful and you make mistakes. I did. Starting with that nickname. I should never have -- you’re not that guy. You’ve never been that guy. When you care about someone you’re all in. There’s never a moment where they don’t know it and never a doubt that you won’t be there at the drop of a hat when the shit hits the fan. None of those are characteristics of a guy who’s just biding his time. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you weren’t good enough. That was never my intention.”
He fidgeted, uncomfortably, but she could see the glassy quality of his eyes and the doubt on his face. “I told you, you don’t need to apologize. Besides, if what you say is true then what does it mean that I couldn’t make things work with Stephanie? My one actual relationship and I couldn’t keep it together. No matter how hard I tried, it was all wrong. We hurt each other the way the couple in this case did. What does that say about me?”
“It says you gave it your all but it just wasn’t meant to be.” She squeezed his hands and then slid herself into his space, slotting into his side. “Breaking up doesn’t mean you failed, Andy. It means you tried. Sometimes, love isn’t enough -- wanting isn’t enough.” Looping her arm through his, she rested her head on his shoulder. “I know what things were like with Stephanie. You weren’t good for each other. That doesn’t mean anyone was at fault and it doesn’t mean you didn’t care about her. It’s just…a hard truth. Sometimes we’re not meant to be with the people we want most and it sucks.”
She learned that lesson at a very young age, but if she hadn’t she wouldn’t be where she was now. She would have never ended up as close to Andy as she had become if she held on to that crush. It would have eaten away at them, but letting him go allowed them to become friends. She wouldn't give that up for anything in the world. In the wake of losing Aaron, she’d come to appreciate his friendship even more. They became each other’s rocks -- their safe place.
And that was so much better than anything she ever had with any of her exes.
His head turned and she felt his lips against the crown of her head. His next words are spoken into her hair. “It’s not even that I love her, though, because by the end I think we’d both lost that feeling. It’s more the idea that I couldn’t handle the commitment that eats me up. Or the idea that other people think I couldn't handle the commitment. Because I can. I know I can. But ending that relationship just fed into all those playboy perceptions people have had of me for years. It makes me wonder if anyone will ever take me seriously again.”
“Who the hell cares what other people think?” Sam asked, sinking further into Andy’s side. “Fuck them. Anyone who’s worth your time won’t care about any of that bullshit. They’ll see you the way I see you.”
He chuckled. They were sitting so close that the vibrations of it rippled through her and filled the guilty and anxious pit in her stomach, leaving her with a newfound sense of peace and contentment. She made mistakes with Andy, but she could fix them as long as they kept being honest with each other and talking things through the way they had tonight.
“Hearing you curse is always a treat,” he murmured.
“Uh, I curse quite a bit, thanks. I think you’re confusing me with my mom and my sister.”
“It’s cute that you think you curse as much as the average person,” he needled.
“Alright, fine. Maybe most of the cursing is in my head.”
‘That sounds more likely.”
She laughed and lightly swatted at his chest. “Shut up, jerk.”
“Wow, a shut up and a jerk. You’re just racking up all the curses, tonight, huh? Is it me? Am I a bad influence?”
“No,” she replied softly, craning back to glance up at him. “You’re the best influence. You make me better and I am very grateful to have you in my life.”
He blinked at her, a stunned look on his face. She watched his mouth work for a beat, waiting to see if he’d come up with a reply, but after a few seconds she decided to be merciful and save him the trouble.
“Even if you scared the shit out of me today by trying to put yourself in front of a bullet. I swear, you’re going to make me go prematurely gray,” she groused, reaching for the remote to turn the tv back on. “Ready to sleep through more reality television, grandpa?”
“Anyone ever tell you how annoying you are?” He asked, tugging lightly at her ponytail.
“Yeah, you do. All the time,” she replied, laughing loudly. “Jules too. I gotta be good at something I guess.”
He grinned at her, his eyes looking brighter and warmer than they had all evening. “You’re good at a great many things, Sam. So many that it’s obnoxious sometimes, but I wouldn’t have you any other way. Thank you for being here tonight.”
She sighed happily and patted his thigh, turning half her focus toward the television. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”
She meant it. Anytime she was with him, no matter how serious the discussion, she felt safe. Vulnerabilities were never a weakness with Andy. She had never experienced a level of comfort like this with another person before. Not even Aaron. She should have probably tried to dig deeper into that feeling, but the idea of what she might find was too terrifying to even think about. It might mean losing what she and Andy had worked so hard to build and she couldn’t bear to ruin everything. She put those feelings behind her a long time ago.
What was the point of dusting them off now?
No, best to ignore what these feelings of rightness and home truly meant.
She could manage it. Hell, she had done it once before. She could certainly do it again.
******
Last night…
If only she knew then how much all those years of denial would come back to bite her in the ass now. Maybe she could have saved herself the trouble.
All the feigned ignorance in the world couldn’t have prevented the emotions crashing over her in violent waves tonight. She never really stood a chance, did she?
She loves him.
She’s in love with him.
She always has been.
She knew she had feelings that she’d been suppressing but she thought she’d nipped love in the bud in high school. She’s loved others since then. She assumed if she loved other people then it meant she was over Andy.
But…
If she’s honest, she’s never loved anyone else as ferociously as she loved him. She should have known what that meant.
He’s been so good to her lately. What choice did she have but to stumble head first into that love once again?
“Andy, I — “ She tries, but the words die in her throat.
He looks up at her expectantly as their drinks are placed in front of them. Grabbing the lowball glass like a life preserver, she shifts on her stool and holds on to it without taking a sip.
“We should…we should talk,” she stammers, swallowing thickly.
His eyes darken and his brow furrows. “I knew it.”
Knew what? Oh god, about her feelings? Has he known this whole time and pretended he didn’t? She’s so surprised by his statement that she chokes on air while breathing in sharply. She coughs and then holds one finger up to ask for a moment, taking a slow sip of her drink.
“It’s Aaron, isn’t it?” Andy scoffs and shakes his head, downing a good portion of his beer in one gulp. “Go ahead. Say it. I can take it. You’re getting back together, right?”
Her eyes widened at his words. That’s what he thinks? To tell the truth, she’d forgotten all about seeing Aaron. Her nerves over Andy fogged everything up. “What? No! I mean, he wants to but I could never — what I mean to say is that he and I are over. I don’t want him.”
“You don’t?” Andy asks. “But you were so crazy about him.”
“I was,” she agrees. “But even if he hadn’t cheated on me, it never would have worked out. We’re not right for each other.”
“Oh, thank god,” Andy replies, his expression full of obvious relief. “You’re too good for that asswipe. Too good for a lot of people, actually.” There’s a pause as a brief sadness flashes across his face but then he’s back to smirking with his usual casual confidence. “So, if not Aaron, then what do we need to talk about?”
“You,” she blurts and then shakes her head when that answer doesn’t feel right. “No, me.” Nope not right either. “Ugh, us. I mean us.”
“Okay,” he says slowly, eyes narrowing on her in concern. “Did I do something to piss you off that I don’t remember?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. This is a good talk — well, I hope it is. I mean even if I’m alone with what I’m going through that won't necessarily make it bad. For you…for me it might—“ her sentence ends abruptly, not wanting to voice the reality out loud. This will be a good talk for him. It never hurts to hear someone loves you, right? But it could be a devastating talk for her. Ashley may have been a jerk but she was right about one thing: crushes can ruin friendships.
Oh shit, what is she doing? She can’t lose him. Even if she’s relegated to the sidelines for the rest of her life, would that be so bad? She glances up at him, meeting his worried gaze. His life flashes before her eyes. Him meeting someone perfect and wonderful. The two of them one day getting married and raising adorable babies — growing old together. And Sam standing off to the side, painfully in love with Andy, watching it all go down. Watching her best friend role be replaced by this new woman because, after all, that’s how it should be. That’s what her parents have. There’s a friendship underneath all that cheesy romance she grew up witnessing. Andy deserves that — even if it isn’t with her. Even if it means she becomes a few steps removed from his life.
Telling him how she feels changes that imaginary flickering film reel of his life in no way. All it will do is put more distance between them. Not less.
She chugs her drink, ignoring Andy’s startled stare, and gets the attention of another bartender. The alcohol burns down her throat but it doesn’t soften the jagged edges of her jumbled mind. Maybe a second one will.
“For you it might…what?” Andy asks as they wait for her second drink.
“Nothing, never mind,” she says before inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. She needs to calm down. Spiraling into an anxiety filled whirlwind of fear and sadness will not help anyone. “It can wait.”
“You’re acting very weird,” he replies, sliding his much too perceptive detective gaze over her. He’s suspicious and she can’t blame him.
He’s right. She’s being a fucking weirdo.
“I would say you’re drunk but you’ve only had one drink,” he says, just as her new whiskey is placed in front of her. “So far, anyway.”
She laughs nervously, wiping her sweating palms on her skirt and then rubbing the back of her neck to knead her stiff stressed muscles. “I’m not drunk. It takes me a freakish amount of drinks just to get buzzed.”
“Okay, so then no chickening out,” he insists. “Clearly something’s bothering you. Tell me what it is.”
Her answer is immediate and instinctive. “I don’t want to.”
Hello, fight or flight. Guess which one she’s leaning toward today?
“Sammy, it can’t be that bad,” Andy says, flashing her an amused smile.
She closes her eyes, idly turning the glass on the bar. It’s not technically bad, but it won’t go her way and then it’ll be devastating. She drains half of her new drink while trying to muster up the courage — any courage. When she opens them, she finds Andy leaning into her space, eyes boring into hers.
“I’m not ready for things to change,” she confesses softly. What she means is: I’m not ready to lose you. Her real confession means explaining why she might lose him and that means telling him the true depth of her feelings.
His tone shifts to meet hers, low and tender. “Why do things have to change?”
Her eyes water against her will as she internally begins to mourn their friendship. She hasn’t lost him yet. She knows that, but just the idea that she could…
“Everything changes eventually,” she answers, knowingly skirting around his question.
“We’ve known each other since we were kids. If things haven’t changed by now then I doubt they’re going to,” he assures her, finishing off his beer.
She chuffs bitterly. “For you maybe.”
The weight of his eyes on her increases and she knows she’s made a mistake. Her outward sign of cynicism is going to bring on the full force of his concern. She should have never listened to her family. What was she thinking? Sam Casey will always be the little girl with the crush. That’s been her curse from the very first kiss he left on her cheek. Only now it’s worse. Now, she’s convinced she’ll never be able to move on. It’s Andy or it’s no one.
What did she think would happen? She’d tell him and everything would magically click into place? She should know better by now. If her relationship history has taught her anything, it’s to take her expectations and cut them down by half.
She doesn’t remember drinking the rest of her second whiskey, but she must have. The glass is empty. She lifts her hand to request a third but Andy’s fingers circle her wrist, tugging it out of the air.
“Maybe you should slow down,” he advises, eyes flicking over every inch of her face. “We’ve barely been here twenty minutes.”
His hand is still wrapped around her wrist, thumb caressing her pulse point. She forgets the drink and watches that thumb. The gentleness of the gesture is unconscious, but it makes her want things. It inspires questions and fantasies. Brings to mind images of things that will never be — like what it would be like to feel his lips on her pulse instead of his thumb. Would his tongue peek out for a taste? Or would he only use his lips? Her heartbeat increases and her skin heats.
Christ, what is wrong with her? She has got to stop. She started the night wanting to talk but now all she wants is space. Space from her feelings, space from her muddled thoughts, space from him.
Her heart overrules her brain because despite her need for space, she doesn’t take any. She shifts their hands, slipping through his grasp until her palm fits against his. His head tilts curiously at the change but she swears she sees an earnest flash of something in his eyes. Following her lead, he threads his fingers through hers — locking their hands in place.
A palpable swampy heat engulfs them, hovering only over their corner of the bar. His eyes drop to her mouth, his other hand coming up to rub his finger across his bottom lip. Her ability to breathe becomes shaky at best as his stare pulls her in, like he’s got his own center of gravity.
He’s always been her weakness and now isn’t any different. She should put a stop to this, but she can’t.
Fortunately for her, Lee Henry must have seen her request for another drink anyway. He appears out of nowhere with a new lowball glass of amber liquid and effectively breaks the spell. Disconcerted by the interruption, her hand slips from Andy’s grasp.
The humid cloud of chemistry and tension they’ve created over the last few minutes suddenly feels stifling.
What. Just. Happened?
She tears her eyes from Andy’s, grabs the glass, and downs it all in one chug. Her eyes sting and the world tilts a bit, but that might not be the alcohol. That might be her proximity to her best friend.
Clumsily slipping off the stool, she grabs her phone and strides away. “I — I have to go,” she shouts over her shoulder.
She needs to retreat until she finds quiet, until she can think with her mind instead of that traitorous organ in the middle of her chest. As she walks she orders a car. She knows better than to drive after multiple whiskeys but she can’t ask Andy for a ride. Not after whatever the hell that moment was.
The cold night air hits her as she finally makes it outside. It slightly sobers her inebriated state. Whether the buzz is caused by whiskey or Andy is still up for debate. The sound of the door opening and closing again tells her he followed her before he utters a word. She knew he would, but she was hoping her ride would be closer than it is. Now she’s stuck outside with him.
“Where are you going?” He asks, hands in his jacket pockets as he stops to wait with her.
“Home.”
“We just got here.”
“I know.”
He shakes his head and scrubs a hand through his short hair. “Did that Ashley chick mess with your head that much?”
A hysterical abbreviated laugh escapes her as she takes another step away from him. The fear that what happened in the bar might happen again is still gripping her. She wants to run away and run into his arms all at once. How does she reconcile those two very different urges? “I’m not leaving because of Ashley. She’s a ridiculous person. I don’t give a shit about what she thinks.”
“So, then what the hell is happening now?” He asks, sounding almost desperate for answers.
She tries to think about how all this looks to him and becomes frustrated with herself. No wonder he’s confused. She’s been all over the place all night long. But the things is, she doesn’t really have an answer for him. She thought she understood what she needed to do, and now everything is unclear.
“I don’t know!” She shouts, angry at her inability to make a decision. “I have no goddamn idea what I’m doing or why I’m doing it! I came here tonight with a plan but then you—“ she cuts herself off and vaguely gestures to him from head to toe. “And then you! Just you. That’s the hiccup.”
“Me?” His voice raises, not quite yelling but not as soft and yearning as before. “I’m the only one of us not freaking out right now. How can I be the problem?”
“I didn’t say you were a problem!” She yells, turning to face him.
“You haven’t said much of anything at all!” He yells back, stepping closer and ducking his head to meet her eyes.
An alert pops up on her phone, telling her the ride she ordered cancelled and another car is on the way. Great. Just fan-fucking-tastic. Andy sees the notice too and points across the street to wear he parked earlier.
“Forget that rideshare crap. I’ll take you home.”
“No!” The word comes out much louder than she intends, but she is full blown panicking now. “I’m fine with waiting.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. I’m here now and ready to take you home for free —“
“You don’t think I know that? I’m a mess. Nothing happening in my head makes any sense!” She shouts, cutting him off. “But I do know one thing! One certain fucking thing. There is no way on this Earth I can be alone with you right now.”
“What does that mean?” He asks, a livid expression on his beautiful face.
She feels awful for being a basketcase but she’s overwhelmed and a bit over-served. Plus, scared out of her mind at everything she stands to lose if telling him what she wants goes badly.
“You gotta give me a damn clue here, Sam. At some point tonight I must have done something wrong but I have no fucking clue what it was and I can’t fix it unless you give me a hint or a sign. Something. You can’t walk away and leave me in total darkness like this!”
There’s barely an inch between them now. Even while arguing they’re drawn to each other. They’re both breathing heavily from the yelling and their shared fear. His comes from the way her emotions have rebounded off of him tonight as if he’s a bumper in a pinball machine. Hers comes from all the ways her life could spin out of control from here. She wants things she shouldn’t want and she’s hoping for things that she knows are hopeless.
And he’s at the center of it — always has been whether she let herself see it or not.
Maybe that’s why she does what she does next. He’s the center of her world and he asked for a clue. Maybe she’s not ready to say the words out loud, but a hint or a sign seems like a reasonable request.
Throwing her arms around his neck, she yanks him down for a kiss. His lips crash into hers, slanting imperfectly together. She expects him to stiffen and jerk back, in surprise or even disgust, but he doesn’t. He briefly stalls mid-kiss, for barely half a second, but only to band his arms around her and change their angle. He bends his knees to meet her lips, keeping her pressed tightly to his chest, and then straightens. Her surprised squeak is muffled by his mouth, but no longer touching the ground isn’t half as disorienting as his tongue teasing her bottom lip.
Parting her lips to allow him deeper, leads to a flurry of tasting and nipping, sipping and devouring. She gets so lost in him and the flavor of beer and whiskey mingled together that she doesn’t register they’ve moved until her back is pressed into a brick wall. Opening her eyes for a moment, she realizes they’re in the narrow alley next to Molly’s, shrouded by dim lighting.
Andy’s hand finds the underside of her knee, and hikes it up around his waist. He groans as she moves her other leg to match, leaving him comfortably cradled between her legs.
There’s a point of no return ahead of them. It’s approaching fast, but neither of them stop. Even as their hands start to wander, the momentum keeps building. One of her hands winds its way under and up his flannel shirt, her fingers mapping every dip and ridge on his defined stomach. Now that she’s secure around his waist, his hand that gripped her knee skims the outside of her thigh, drifting under the skirt of her cotton dress.
Their mouths separate with a pop as he cups her ass and brings her center against him. The friction sends a jolt rocking through her spine and rips a gasp from her throat.
She moans, her voice gravelly with need. “Andy. Oh my God.”
The phone, still somehow gripped in her hand that's pressed to his back, vibrates to indicate a new notification. Reality comes crashing down, lifting the mist of impulses and longing that drove them to make out in a public alley next to a neighborhood bar.
“Oh, shit,” she curses. Shock and anxiety flood her senses causing her hands to shake as she shoves lightly at Andy’s shoulders. “Wait. Wait.”
Her feet touch the ground a second before she releases him. They’re left staring at each other with his arms around her waist, panting while they catch their breath. His lips are kiss swollen, pupils are blown, and he fidgets a little in his spot. It’s not until one of his hands moves from her hip to adjust himself that she realizes the source of his discomfort.
Her stomach drops like a lead weight. Oh God, what did she do? She kissed her best friend! This is exactly why she didn’t want to be alone with him! She knew this was going to happen. Her phone vibrates again and she swallows thickly, stepping sideways out of Andy’s arms. Only then does his shock begin to fade. The awe and lust is replaced with awareness and alarm. He reaches for her as she slips away, taking one or two lurching steps forward, but for once she’s quicker than he is.
She takes off toward the street, glancing at the alerts on her phone. Her ride is waiting for her just outside the front door to Molly’s.
“Sam!”
She grinds her teeth and wills away the sound of Andy’s voice calling after her. How could she let this happen? How could she ruin everything with one uninhibited moment?
She rips open the car door, nods as the driver verifies her name, and then hops in. The moment she slams the door the car takes off down the street. It’s muffled by windows, and she doesn’t look back to confirm, but she swears she hears Andy swearing a blue streak as she leaves Molly’s behind.
As soon as she’s home with her door closed and locked behind her, the events of the night begin to register. A hand covers her lips, remembering how exquisite Andy’s mouth felt and tasted. No one’s ever kissed her like that before.
Dark thoughts intrude on her wonder, reminding her who she’s always been to him. Her cheeks burn under the weight of her mortification. She literally threw herself at him! (The quiet more rational corner of her brain whispers, “he kissed you back.” But she doesn’t hear it. Can’t hear it.)
She knows the reality of her role in Andy’s life. Yeah, sure. No one’s ever kissed her like that before.
And, the truth is, no one ever will again.
******
Chapter 9: Chapter 8: Aftermath
Summary:
Last night finally catches up with Sam.
Notes:
A/N: Last chapter! Only the epilogue to go! I hope you guys enjoy it!
Happy reading!
xoxo
******
Chapter Text
Present day…
Turns out, smothering herself with a pillow is harder than she thought.
Especially when there’s a deafening pounding beat against the inside of her skull, distracting and annoying her all at once. She thinks it’s her hangover finally showing itself and figures she’s going to need some ibuprofen to shut it up. Tossing her pillow across the room, she forces her bare feet onto the carpet. As much as she hates the idea, it’s probably best to start the day and get it over with.
Humiliation awaits.
Her phone rattles against the nightstand again. She bites her bottom lip while she watches it jump and slide. There has to be a million texts and missed phone calls waiting for her. She’s dreading each and every one of them.
She blows out a breath, rubs her eyes, and pushes off the bed. This day is gonna suck ass. How could she have let herself make out with Andy last night? Yeah, she was a bit buzzed but she’s been buzzed around him before and more than able to keep her wits. Stupid Andy and his handsome face. This is all his fault.
The pounding sounds again. Only this time, it’s followed by a voice shouting her name. Her brow furrows as she stands in alarm. What the hell? That sound isn’t in her head? She hesitantly hedges toward her bedroom door, peeking out into her living room. Her door shakes as the knocking happens one more time. Whoever is on the other side is bordering on frantic.
“Sammy! Will you please answer the door?”
She trips over the raised threshold between rooms at the clear, very recognizable, voice. Andy? Oh god, could she at least get a coffee before he shows up and lets her down easy? Or freaks the fuck out based on the panicked scene he’s making.
There’s a murmur from the other side and then Andy’s voice floats through the closed door again.
“It’s 11 in the morning. How the hell am I disturbing you?” He pauses. She gets the impression he’s talking to someone else. “Yeah, go ahead. Call the cops. You’ll save me a phone call.” Louder, and to the door, he shouts. “Cause if she doesn’t confirm she’s alive we’re gonna need a wellness check anyway!”
Oh for Christ’s sake!
She sprints across the apartment, unlocking the door and wrenching it open. Her neighbor from across the hall is just stepping inside his apartment, a sour look on his face.
“Alan,” Sam says as she flags the older man down, ignoring Andy with a huff. “It’s fine. Everything is fine. I know him. He’s just annoying and determined -- has been our entire lives. No need to call the cops. I promise.”
Alan glares at them both, as if he’s unsure Sam is telling the truth. She sighs, tries to smile patiently at her nosy neighbor, hoping he’ll go inside and leave them alone. When he doesn’t it seems Andy realizes he needs to switch gears.
“Alan, is it?” Andy asks, pasting on a sickeningly charming smile. “Sorry to bother you, sir. You’re right. I should have been more respectful. I just needed her to come to the door. She’s trying to ghost me and, given how much we’ve been through, I couldn't let that happen. I’ll take it down a notch from here on out.”
Her neighbor nods once, clearing his throat with a stern expression on his face. “See that you do.”
The awkwardness descends the minute Alan slams his door, leaving them alone for the first time since Sam ran away last night.
“You really had to come and try to break down my door?” Sam asks, leaning against the door jamb.
“No, I didn’t,” he answers, his tone clipped and tired. “As I’m sure you’re aware, I tried to call and text first but it seems all of my calls and messages were being ignored.”
“I was asleep,” she lies. “And a bit hungover.”
“You were not,” he rebuts knowingly. “Your alcohol tolerance is legendary. You’ve been avoiding your phone. Admit it.”
She glares at him, feeling more frustrated with herself than Andy, and throws her hands up into the air. He knows her too well. “Fine! Yes, okay!” She turns and retreats into her apartment, leaving the door wide open for Andy to follow. “I made a mistake last night and I’ve been dreading the discussion that comes next.”
“A mistake?” He asks, voice becoming soft and uncertain. Glancing around the hall, he swallows thickly and steps inside. His eyes find hers again as he pushes the door closed behind him. “Look, I’m not here to drag you into a discussion. If it was a mistake then…” He sighs and runs a hand over his unshaved face. It’s only then that she notices how disheveled he looks. He’s still in his clothes from last night, only now his outfit is rumpled and wrinkled from extended wear. “Then I guess I’m just here to make sure we’re okay.”
He says that, but she’s not sure it’s true. He looks defeated and sad. It’s a simplistic word, she knows, but sometimes it’s best to keep things simple. That’s how she managed to stay friends with Andy as long as she has. She shoves her feelings down and never strays from the very safe and simple label of “friends”. Anything else is too much of a risk.
Besides, even rumpled and disheveled, he’s out of her league. He can have anyone. He’s never going to choose her, of all people.
“We’re…we’re okay,” she assures him, turning away so she doesn’t have to lie to his face. “It was just a kiss.” A kiss that led to Andy’s hand up her skirt, but still mostly a kiss. “We can pretend it never happened and go back to the way we were twenty four hours ago. No big deal.”
The room goes eerily silent the moment those words leave her lips. If she wasn’t keenly aware of every breath Andy takes, she’d worry he left. The minute the quiet becomes stifling, he speaks.
His tone is indigent at best, furious at worst. “No big deal? Did you just — Christ, Sam. Last night was a lot of things but you and I both know it wasn’t as insignificant as you apparently wish it was. It was a big deal! It was a huge fucking deal.” He reigns in his explosive frustration, softening his voice. “Or maybe it wasn’t to you. I don’t know anymore. I thought there was a…vibe last night. Hell, I’ve been feeling a vibe for years now but I can never tell where you stand so I keep pretending it isn’t there.”
His tone is soft, but for all the impact his words have they may as well have been screamed at her. He feels a what? Since when? How did she miss it? A million moments flit through her thoughts like a movie on fast forward, but from her point of view nothing seems out of place. Nothing disrupts their status quo. She raises her eyes to find his face and analyze his expression. It’s open and raw. More vulnerable than she’s ever seen him.
With that one look he must realize his short circuited her brain, because his look of frustration and heartbreak shifts to one of irritated amusement.
“You had no idea,” he says, the corners of his lips pulling upward. It’s not quite a smile or a smirk, but it wants to be.
“How — how would I have known?” She asks, voice hushed into a hoarse whisper.
Andy takes several steps closer until the toes of his boots are within an inch of her bare feet. It’s all she can see because she’s looked away from him again. Is she still asleep and dreaming? He couldn’t have just admitted to having feelings for her. That’s impossible!
He ducks his head, trying to get a better look at her. “What was that?” He asks. “I couldn’t quite hear you.”
He heard her. Claiming he didn’t is an excuse to stand closer. “You never said anything. How could I have known you were feeling anything?”
“Fair point,” he admits, wincing sheepishly.
“You called it a vibe. What does that mean to you exactly?” She forces herself to look at him, wanting to see his face when he answers her. Before she voices how she feels aloud she needs to know she’s not misunderstanding him.
“Sam,” he says, grinning with a knowing and exasperated expression. “Come on.”
“No!” She exclaims before swallowing thickly and willing herself to lower her volume. “No. You can’t just say that and not — Look, I was trying to move past last night so that we wouldn’t lose our friendship! But then you show up here and tell me there’s a vibe and expect me to know what type of feeling that is to you? I’ve worked so damn hard at keeping how I feel to myself because I didn’t want to make things awkward between us and I’m tired! I don’t want to have to read into a bunch of subtext and hidden meanings or try to decipher if what you say means more than it actually does anymore! God, see, this is why I chickened out last night! No matter what happens after this conversation something changes and it could all go to shit!”
The tears that threatened to fall last night are back, pooling in her eyes. She blinks them away and then storms off toward her kitchen. If they’re going to do this then she at least needs one fucking cup of coffee.
“Chickened out?” Andy asks, following hot on her heels. “Wait, wait. Last night, when you were being so batshit weird — you said you wanted to talk about us. I thought you meant I’d pissed you off about Aaron or something but you actually wanted to talk about us. As in, you and me and how you feel about what we’ve been doing the last two years? Or hell, the last decade even.”
“Decade?” The word is hurled at him with blunt force, but he nearly knocked her feet out from under her with that revelation. “What do you mean decade?”
All his bluster deflates. He blushes and scratches the back of his neck, eyes focusing on her kitchen floor. “I had a thing for you when we were at Northwestern — before Stephanie.”
“A thing?” She doesn’t mean to keep repeating him but…what the actual fuck?
“A thing. Yeah,” he says again, as if that explains everything.
“No, you didn’t.”
His brow furrows and he squints at her, mirthful and confused. “Pretty sure I did.”
“You couldn’t have,” she disagrees. Shaking her head, she places a filter in the coffee maker and dumps in scoop after scoop of grounds. “No, no way.”
“Sam,” he says, breathing out her name through a hoarse laugh. “You can’t pretend I didn’t and make it so. That’s not how feelings work. I was there and I lived it and I’m telling you I came close to asking you out at least four times before I realized you deserved someone so much better than me and backed off.” He pauses and grabs the can of grounds from her. “Jesus, what are you making coffee soup? That’s like six scoops already!”
She blinks at him, dumbfounded, as he bumps her aside and takes over the coffee. She watches him remove several spoonfuls before grabbing her filtered water pitcher and pouring the right amount into the reservoir. Finally, his confession catches up to her.
“Better than you?” She asks, mimicking him again. He wanted to ask her out years ago and didn’t because he thought she deserved better? How does she make him understand…
As soon as he turns on the coffee and the gurgling sound of the brewing starts, she squeezes between him and the kitchen counter, firmly placing herself in his path and desperately seeking eye contact.
He breathes out a nervous breath once their gazes collide. His good humor from earlier is gone and in its place is something reverent and solemn. She trails her hands up his arms to rest on his shoulders, feeling his muscles clench under her touch, as if he’s bracing himself for the worst.
“Andy,” she says, eyes watering again as she imagines him thinking of himself as unworthy of anything -- let alone reciprocated love. One hand slides up his neck to cup his cheek. He leans into her touch and then into her space, his hands gripping the counter on either side of her hips. “There isn’t anyone better than you. Not for me.”
His unjustly long eyelashes flutter as his eyes take on a glassy quality, gleaming with joy and disbelief. “The vibe. The vague feeling you want me to name,” he croaks, voice wracked with emotions.
“Oh, no, you -- you don’t have to. I get it if you’re not--”
“I love you,” he admits. His words are rushed as if he has to say them that instant or he’s afraid they’ll disappear. “I’m in love with you and have been for a long time I think -- even if I tried to ignore it.”
And just like that her heart threatens to burst out of her chest. It’s thumping so wildly she’s afraid she might go into AFib. One tear escapes her, trailing silently down her cheek. Andy reaches out, caressing her cheek with the backs of his fingers, and catches it. The love she kept herself ignorant of for so long shines brightly in his eyes along with a fearful uncertainty. He’s put his heart on the line and she’s yet to say anything in return.
“Sam,” he says, resting his wrinkled brow on hers. “You’re killing me here. You gotta talk to me.”
“This is going to sound stupid,” she rasps, trying to process all the fluttery feelings buzzing through her. “But can you pinch me? And not a little pinch either -- I mean hard enough to--” She jumps when there's a stinging on her hip where Andy’s thumb and finger snagged her skin. “--hurt.”
“Not stupid,” he tells her with a warm chuckle. “Do you believe me yet?”
She holds fresh tears at bay and rolls her lips to keep from sobbing in relief. She thought she’d really ruined it all this time. She woke up thinking she would have to give him up, but here he is expressing himself in a way she can’t brush off or refute. He loves her. Andy Severide loves her.
She nods against him, finally letting her beaming smile break free. “I believe you.” She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer until her chest is pressed flush with his. Suddenly, she can’t seem to be close enough. “I love you too,” she confesses. “I always have.”
The words barely leave her lips before Andy closes the distance between them, sealing their mouths together. His tongue licks across her bottom lip causing a hopeless sigh to escape her as she grants him access. She feels his smirk pressed into her for a flash of a second but a moment later he returns to tasting and sipping. Just like last night, kissing Andy feels unlike anything else she’s ever experienced before. Part of her thinks he’d devour her whole if he could, he’s so eager to explore every inch of her mouth.
His hands leave the counter to find purchase on her hips, fingers pressing into her flesh with an almost painful pressure. He shifts them down the counter, closer to the empty space her drying rack sometimes occupies. Dropping suddenly, his hands find the underside of her thighs and lift. She doesn’t even have the presence of mind to be surprised. All she cares about right now is how to have more of him.
Depositing her onto the counter, his hands trace the outside of her thighs. He follows her curves until he can bracket her waist, slipping curious fingers between the elastic waistband of her sleep shorts and her skin.
“Do you know,” he begins, pulling back from her lips to speak between kisses. “How difficult it was—“ Lazy open kisses slide along her jawline, his tongue tasting her skin as he moves toward her hair. “—to keep from losing my everloving mind—“ He nips at her earlobe forcing her to gasp as warmth spreads low in her belly. “—when you opened the door in these tiny things?”
She feels his fingers skimming under the fabric as it circles her snugly. He never dips them lower or drags her shorts down. He’s content to keep teasing her. Probably forever.
She blows out a harsh breath, gripping the collar of his jacket (and realizing he never took it off). “So, lose it then. We’re alone and you’re practically making a seven course meal out of me already. Cut a few courses and lets get to dessert.”
She feels his smile at the hinge of her jaw. He laughs as he nuzzles his face against the side of hers. “That sweet tooth of yours,” he quips. “You get hyper focused on it and miss out on everything else.”
Breaking away from him, she laughs and rolls her eyes. “Dessert is the best course. Don’t even pretend it isn’t.” Her fingers fist the collar of his leather jacket. “Take your coat off and stay a while,” she tells him, tugging it gently.
He takes one step back from her spread knees, pinning her to her spot with a bright smile. She couldn't hop down from the counter even if she wanted to. He peels off the jacket, dropping it on the floor, and then follows it with his flannel shirt. She finally sets eyes on the chest she explored in the alley last night. It’s just as beautiful as she knew it would be.
The minute he’s within reach, her fingers slip into the belt loops of his jeans yanking him back to his spot between her legs.
“You have very grabby hands,” he observes with a delighted expression. Aaron sometimes complained her eagerness came across as aggressive, but Andy seems thrilled by this discovery. “I noticed that last night when you nearly sent me tumbling down on top of you. You pulled me into that kiss like you were trying to make a tackle or something.” He moans and frames her waist again, sliding her closer to the counter’s edge. “It was hot as hell.”
He starts to lean in to kiss her but she holds up a hand to stop him. “Wait.” Hurriedly, she grabs the bottom hem of her t-shirt and whips it off. Throwing it in the same vague direction of his shirt and jacket. “Okay, go.”
He snorts through a laugh as she reaches for him again. “Fuck, Sammy. Gimme a moment to enjoy the view at least.”
An electric zap charges up her spine at the idea of him wanting to see her — to learn her. But for the sake of the bit she forces a put upon sigh, leaning the heels of her hands on the counter and arching slightly. She doesn’t wear a bra to bed (what unfeeling monster would?) so she was bare under the worn t-shirt. And now she’s bare for him, above the waist at least.
He pulls in a slow breath, eyes alight with hunger. He groans as he exhales, crowding her space once again. “You are unbelievably gorgeous.”
She blushes and shakes her head. Sure, she’s not hideous. She’s acceptably average. But she doesn’t believe for a minute that any part of her lives up to his hype. One hand caresses her cheek, and the other slips back into her frizzy, slept on waves.
Tilting her face up so he can look her in the eyes, he repeats himself. “You are gorgeous, Sammy. I swear your big blue eyes have me in a constant emotional chokehold. And the way you always have one or two unruly waves floating around your face? Makes me want to wrap them around my fingers every time. And your mouth — Jesus, those perfectly bowed lips — “ He breaks off his intriguing laundry list of her features to dip down and kiss her, sucking her top lip between his.
His praise makes her feel shaky and off kilter in the best way. Like she’s on the best roller coaster ride of her life. She feels one of his hands glide up her stomach, stopping just short of her breasts. His thumb moves idly, brushing the underside of one of them. She pushes against him, nipples pebbled and hard. It’s also the first brush of skin against skin, as the movement causes her chest to bump his.
Andy jerks out of the slow series of kisses he was giving her, and breathes in sharply. “Yeah, okay, we need to relocate now. Where do you wanna go?”
She brings one hand up to her kiss swollen lips and caresses the other over his taut stomach, counting each rib of his abs along the way. She’s nervous as she debates her options. Is this too fast? Should they stop? Maybe they should go on an actual date first.
Andy’s hand grabs hers that sits on his chest and brings her knuckles to his lips. “No pressure,” he reminds her. “If you’d rather wait then I am happy to leave things here. Any further and I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”
“I want this,” she assures him. “I do. It’s just…”
“It’s just what?” He asks when she trails off.
“I never thought this would actually happen. I mean, you’re — “ She waves a hand in his general direction, a sultry smirk on her lips. “You. And I’ve always been the tag along.”
“You were never the tag al—“
She covers his mouth with her hand and chuckles softly. “I love you, but let me finish.”
His eyes narrow and his tongue slips out to lick her palm. She yelps and pulls her hand away. “Dirty tactics.”
He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Oh, I could show you dirty.”
She guffaws and playfully swats at his chest. “Stop flirting. I’m trying to be serious.”
He clears his throat and tames his grin, but amusement still shines in his eyes. “Sorry, continue.”
“I never thought this would happen,” she says, trying to finish her thought again. “And now that it is, I don't want to screw it up.”
“Whether we sleep together now or we wait won’t be the decision that breaks us, Sammy,” he reassures her, playing with a loose tendril of her hair as he talks. His expression is soft and full of tenderness. His hand moves to grip her chin, pulling her lips to his in a lingering but chaste kiss. “I love you too, and I’m down for however you want to play this. I’ve already gotten to see you half naked so I’m good.”
A laugh bubbles up through her nerves as her fingers wrap around his wrist. “You always know just what to say.”
“Not always, but I know you and that makes figuring this out a hell of a lot easier,” he says, self consciously deflecting her praise. “So, what are we doing? Shirts or skins?”
She slaps a hand to her forehead, chortling hysterically. Rubbing down over her eyes, she shakes her head. “Shirts or skins? Really?”
He grins, looking immensely pleased at himself for making her laugh. He stoops to leave a delicate kiss on the tip of her nose. “Got you to loosen up, didn’t it?”
God, she loves him. Even when he’s being an overconfident jerk. She loves him so much that she wants to feel him everywhere. Over her, around her, in her. They’ve spent years circling each other. The idea of going ‘too fast’ doesn’t even apply to them. No one goes anywhere when they’re stuck in neutral. Shifting gears, means moving forward and she knows exactly what she wants their next step to be.
“Take me to bed, Andy.”
An excited growl rumbles through his throat as he scoops her up off the counter. Pressing his lips to the crown of her head, he speaks with great relief as he walks. “That’s exactly what I was hoping you’d say.”
She may not know what the future holds for them but she does know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that no matter her future Andy will always be with her. If they’ve proven anything through the years, it’s that they love each other too much to be apart for long. The unknown is scary, but with the right partner…anything is possible.
******
Chapter 10: Epilogue: 3 Years Later
Summary:
Sometimes life really does come full circle.
Notes:
A/N: Last update on this story! Thank you all so much for loving Sam and Andy! It’s meant so much to me to hear from you all on this story especially. I adore these two characters so much. I hope you like this last entry. I included some fun guest appearances for you. ;)
Happy reading!
xoxo
PS - see the note at the end for a list of who’s who!
******
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
3 years later…
“I feel like a pack mule,” Andy says dryly. “Did you bring the whole nursery?”
“No,” she replies, sticking her tongue out at him. “And relax, it’s just a diaper bag, a Pack N Play, and a cooler for my milk. It’s not like I brought the Diaper Geenie.”
“But you were tempted weren’t you?” He asks with a knowing smirk. “Come on, admit it.”
“Fine! I contemplated it for like a second, but decided that was perhaps a bit too much.”
“Just a bit,” he teases.
They start to step away from the car and walk toward the Firehouse when Andy stops, grinning smugly. “I think we forgot one very important thing.”
“What?” Sam asks, patting her pockets and double checking the bags she slung over Andy’s shoulders. “I’m pretty sure we got everything that we--” She freezes, glancing down at her empty hands. “Oh shit! The baby!”
He laughs as she jogs back to the SUV and opens the back door. “Let me get it,” he says, still chuckling quietly. “The seat’s new and tricky.”
He drops the cargo his girlfriend overloaded him with and rushes to her side. He has the baby seat down to an art by now, but Sam has yet to perfect it. She steps back, admiring Andy’s look of concentration. He will never stop being the most handsome man in any room and now that he’s a dad…well, women find him even sexier. (Herself included.)
Which is all well and good, but he’s hers -- ring or no ring -- and he always will be. He frees the carrier, handing it off to Sam very carefully.
“Is he sleeping?” She asks in a whisper.
“Nope, looks like big man just woke up,” Andy says, smiling proudly down at their son. “Perfect timing, kiddo.”
Matty, properly named Matthew Kelly Severide, was a surprise to both his parents but he was the best kind of surprise. The kind that brought Sam and Andy even closer and resulted in them falling even deeper in love -- as impossible as that seemed.
Today is his first visit to Firehouse 51. Sam’s maternity leave is up in a couple of weeks and she felt it was best for her to try and dip her toe back in with a visit to her work family before she came back on shift. Plus, they’d been bugging the hell out of her to see the baby in person.
They stop on the sidewalk so Andy can pick up all the bags he dropped and then they head inside. Her parents meet them on the app floor. Her mother timed her check in with 61 with their scheduled stop to make sure she got a chance to snuggle her grandson. Sam sets Matty’s carrier down on the Squad table and Sylvie reaches for him first, slapping her dad’s hands away when he tries to pick up Matty before her.
“You’re such a baby hog,” Sylvie scolds. “Let other people have a turn.”
“Hey, you know, he is named after me. I feel like that should grant me first dibs.”
The doors from the house open and two other convenient visitors show up.
“Named after us you mean,” Kelly corrects him, eyes narrowing. “I’m in there too, man.”
“Fine, okay, I concede your point. Both of us should get the first squeeze.”
“Well, of course he’s named after you two idiots,” Stella says, pushing past them to coo at Matty over Sylvie’s shoulder. “I don’t think they’d name a boy after his grandmas.” Stella pauses and tilts her head thoughtfully. “Although, I think we could make Sylvie gender neutral if we wanted to.”
“We could,” Sylvie agrees, craning her neck to nuzzle her nose against the baby’s. “But look at him. That furrowed brow--”
“And that scowl,” Stella adds with a snort.
“Definitely makes him more of a Matthew Kelly than a Sylvie Stella,” her mother finishes, chuckling softly. “You’re gonna be the cutest and grumpiest little thing, aren’t you?”
Sam laughs, leaning back against Andy. His arms wrap around her waist and pull her tight against his chest. Their son having two sets of very eager grandparents is a gift and they couldn’t be more grateful. He presses a kiss to the crown of her head as they wade through the emotions together.
“If you think that’s a grumpy face then you should see him when he wakes up hungry in the middle of the night,” Andy quips, grinning adoringly at his mom as she takes the blanket bundled baby from Sylvie.
“Oof, don’t remind me,” Sam says with a tired sigh. “I’ll probably be able to sleep better on shift than I ever will at home.”
Their quartet of parents all voice their agreement, trading knowing looks all around.
“Definitely remember those days,” Stella says as she bumps Andy’s shoulder, while being careful not to jostle Matty. “Although, sometimes I miss them. You were so small back then and now look at you. You’re a giant.”
“Hey, it’s not my fault I’m taller than you,” Andy says, nodding toward Kelly. “Blame him.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Kelly says sarcastically. “That’s helpful. She’s already mad at me because Lizzie ended up at OFI instead of on a truck so we should definitely add one more thing to the list.”
“You gotta face it, mom,” Andy says, swaying Sam slightly as he watches his mother for her reaction. “Your kids just have brilliant deductive minds. We were born to be investigators.”
“Oh, I am well aware of that,” she replies, rocking Matty when he starts to fuss. “You launched a joint investigation every December and somehow always found the Christmas presents. No matter where I tried to hide them. You were both little devils, but you were my devils and dammit if I wasn’t impressed and proud each and every year.”
Matty gets passed around to the men once the women have had all the cuddles they want. Watching their dads make silly faces and talk in funny voices to their son was always one of the highlights to any grandparent visit for Sam. Matt Casey and Kelly Severide may be gruff old smoke eaters on the outside, but inside they were total mush.
Her dad took Matty inside to show him off to everyone on second shift. Sam and Andy followed him, walking hand in hand. She had to hide her face in Andy’s shoulder several times to keep herself from laughing out loud as her dad literally introduced the baby to each and every individual person in the room. (“Hey. Good morning! Have you met my grandson? Well then today’s your lucky day.”) Their parents are the sweetest people on the planet and no one will ever convince her otherwise.
Eventually, though, everyone had to get back to work and all the excitement became overwhelming for Matty. Sam released Andy to take their son as he cried. She held him close and paced with him around the app floor, occasionally stopping to sway him back and forth. Andy perched himself on the bumper of Truck 81, watching to see if Sam might need to be relieved anytime soon.
Fortunately for both of them, Matty calms down enough for Sam to sit. She takes the empty spot on 81’s bumper and looks out over the unusually quiet apron.
So many important moments in her life happened at this firehouse, but one stuck out amongst all the rest. Glancing over at Andy, she speaks softly to their son. “I’ve got a story for you, Matty. About the day that changed my life.”
Andy’s eyebrows lifted, his curiosity piqued. “I think I’d like to hear this story too.”
“Yes, I think you would,” Sam agrees, with a wistful smile. She glances back down at their son, leaning toward his tiny ears. “You see, when I was just a couple of years older than you, I sat right here as my mom bandaged me up. I took a big tumble out on the pavement and hurt myself. I hurt so much that I couldn’t stop crying. I thought I might cry forever because the pain was so bad.”
She looks over at her boyfriend, seeing the flicker of recognition on his face. Her story triggered a memory.
“And then a little boy sat right where your daddy is now and--”
“Kissed your cheek,” Andy says, interrupting her story. He looks stunned as if he’s surprised either of them can recall that memory at will. “You were crying and it hurt me to watch you hurt so I came over and sat next to you and then I…I kissed your cheek.”
“And that was the moment I fell in love with your dad,” Sam finishes, running a gentle finger along the ridge of Matty’s ridiculously small (but perfect) nose. “So, you never know, if you’re a good little munchkin and you’re kind to other kids, you too may meet your person before you even start preschool. Not that you’ll understand what that means for several more decades.” She ends her story with a kiss to one of Matty’s cherub cheeks, finally looking up to meet Andy’s eyes.
“That was the moment?” He asks her with barely contained amusement. “Me ‘kissing it better’ is what did it?”
Sam shrugs one shoulder, needing her other one to hold Matty still. It’s very nearly his nap time, after all. “What can I say? You were sweet to me. Besides, no one ever forgets their first kiss. And you just happened to be mine.”
He chuckles quietly, slipping an arm around her shoulders and pressing his lips to her cheek. “In more ways than one,” he murmurs, kissing her face as gently as she kissed Matty’s. “I love you, Sam Casey, and our little munchkin. Thank you for choosing me way back then.”
“I love you too,” she replies, filching a quick lip lock. “And if I had to, I’d choose you all over again.”
Notes:
******
A/N: Okay, so way back in chapter one a few people asked about whose kids were who’s and I promised a list at the end! So here we go. I’m going to list the parents (or grandparent) first and then the children (canon and noncanon) who were mentioned.
Matthew Casey and Sylvie Brett:
Julie Casey (Firefighter on Truck at 20)
Samantha Casey (Paramedic on 61)
Sister of Sylvie Brett:
Amelia “Mia” (Sorry, I don’t actually know Julie and Scott’s last name lol)
Kelly Severide and Stella Kidd:
Andrew Severide (Officer in Intelligence)
Elizabeth Severide (OFI)
Joe Cruz and Chloe Allen Cruz:
Brian “Otis” Cruz (PIC on 61)
Kristen Cruz
Annie Cruz
Sharon Goodwin (Grandmother):
Tyrese Goodwin (Rookie officer in Intelligence)
Violet Mikami and Evan Hawkins:
Amanda Hawkins
Christopher and Cindy Herrmann:
Lee Henry (took over Molly’s for his dad)
Wallace and Donna Boden:
Terrence Boden (grew up to be a cop like his grandfather and eventually became the Sergeant in charge of Intelligence)
Those are all the specific mentions I threw in. I’m curious to see if anyone caught them all and figured out who they were and what they did.
Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! You have no idea how much it means to me!
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