Chapter Text
They come around all the time making sure I am eating, sleeping, alive. Every time I would give them the same assurances that I am and it won’t be changing, please leave me alone. Now they are trying to make me leave the flat, they say it will better for me to leave the memories behind and move on with life but I don’t want to forget. This is when it starts.
“John, I do insist. There is a lovely little place that I have found for you on the other side of the city.” Mycroft says as he pushes a pile of photographs towards me. I don’t even look at them as I push them away. “It is what Sherlock would have wanted.”
“Don’t, it won’t work, don’t use him against me. I need to… I want to stay here. It is my home.” My emotionless voice still surprises me. I wave my hand towards the door. “Goodbye, Mycroft.”
After Mycroft leaves I head into his room. Everything is still left exactly how it had been before the incident. I can feel the tears threatening to flow and I blink rapidly, I cannot let myself lose it again. He still has to perform the last miracle, I can’t be without him. Life without him is already so empty; I am lost and slowly drowning. Quickly I wrap his dressing gown around myself and go back to sit in my chair.
His smell is slowly fading from the material.
I haven’t told anyone about this, the times that I sit wrapped in his dressing gown and talk to the empty air in hope that somehow he can hear me. They will only take me away from my home quicker, claiming it is for my health.
In my mind I can see him lounging out in his chair, eyes closed in thought and dressed smartly in his tight, well-tailored suit. He would frown, smirk, and a smile would dawn on his face when he found the answer, the excitement in his voice as he cryptically tells me, the anticipation in his eyes awaiting my voiced approval. I am always amazed at his brilliance and always tell him.
Though it is only in my mind and will not be real again, especially if they make me leave this place.