Unbounded

by vermilliondust

Summary:

"if my love was sincere, Then I, Lan Wangji of the Lan clan, beg you for a second chance, To ensure Wei Ying his happiness and a peaceful life"

"you have my blessing A-Zhan" the voices- a voice of a woman, soothed him.
"mother?"

So,Lan Wangji somehow became a Dragon, was sent back to time where Wei Ying is a child. A Street child nonetheless. From what he remembers, he wished for a second chance to be with Wei Ying, to ensure his happiness. So now he's here. To make sure Wei Ying gets the life he deserves. Yes. He has connected the dots.

Thereafter, Lan Wangji guide Wei Ying through his life as much as he can. He only wished to make sure Wei Ying was happy, but the universe had other plans. Plans such as telling him truths he didn't know of.

Notes:

English is not my first language but I'm still writing this. Please ignore my mistakes and enjoy. I also don't know Chinese, if I made any mistake please know it was fully unintentional

Chapter 1: No envy, No name

Lan Wangji, like always, is kneeling before the ancestral hall. Praying for his long lost beloved. He has been for the past two decades. Has it been two decades or three? He can't tell anymore.  His hair is as white as his robes. Wrinkles adorn his once jade-like face. He has grown old. And he is tired. He is tone deaf. He can't play inquiry like he used to.

But what's the point anymore? 

He has played inquiry so many times. Never for once had he succeeded. 

Wei Ying was dead. His soul was crushed. He is.... he is gone, forever. 

If only he had been there for Wei Ying during his hard times.  If only he could give Wei Ying the happiness he deserved.  If only he hadn't been a selfish coward,  Wei Ying would have been alive. He would have married, have lots of children, they would be mischievous but kind, just  like him. A-yuan would also be there. Together with his Xian gege. They would look lovely together. 

 

Warm tears roll down his cheeks. He's crying. He has been for a long time. He can't remember what Wei Ying looked like. He remembers Wei Ying's smile was dazzling bright, he used to outshine the sun, but he can't remember the scene anymore. All the edges are blurry. Along with most of his memories. 

He can't remember what Wei Ying sounded like. How his lips stretch when he calls his name with unnecessary pitch. 

He can't remember how warm  Wei Ying was. 

He can't remember anything. 

"A-die" 

He noticed the white figure beside him. Holding his shoulder for comfort. His eyes were full of concern and sadness. It doesn't suit him.

"Sizhui."   

His son. His and Wei Ying's son. The kid he once found trembling with fever, who wasn't supposed to live past his illness, is now here. All grown up. Strong, tall, intelligent and most of all kind. The current Sect leader of Cloud recesses.

Lan Sizhui sighs. "You've been crying again." he gives a exasperated smile. Lan Wangji manages to smile back. 

"You're supposed to rest in your quarters, did you have your medicines" He says while wiping Lan Wangji's face with his sleeves. 

"I had." Lan Wangji replies, hoping to ignore the 'rest in your quarters' part. 

"Ignoring the first part won't work" His son smiles again, this time a playful one. This, Lan Wangji believes suits him better.

His son somehow learned to read him whole just like his Elder brother used to.

"Will go, soon'' . It's not a lie because lying is forbidden. He will go. 

"Promise?" 

"I do not lie." 

At this Sizhui gives him  an accusing look. 

How- how rude of him to falsely  accuse his father.

"The last time you said 'soon' was after four hours. And when I came back you were still there." 

Ah, he loves his son a lot, but he can be very annoying sometimes.

"I forgot about time."  This is also not a lie. Time doesn't feel real anymore. He'll be sitting here peacefully enjoying his morning and suddenly it is curfew time. 

"mmhmm, sure" his son humms,  quite not believing.

Maybe now is a good time to smack his son. 

"Just a little more." Lan Wangji sighs again.

"Okay, I'll be busy in the conference. I'll send A-Xiu then." 

"Mn" 

A-Xiu, his little granddaughter.  He can't deny her anything. He'll try to buy something for her. Since he doesn't have long to live. He can't see her wedding, but he's grateful he could see Sizhui getting married to the person he loved. Pledging to be with them till even after death . 

Unlike him.

If he dies, will he be able to meet Wei Ying? Will he be there? Maybe not. 

Their ancestor Lan An died soon after his lover's death. To meet her in the afterlife.

So why hasn't Lan Wangji died after Wei Ying died. Had he not loved Wei Ying? No he hadn't, he was a coward. He couldn't love Wei Ying. In fact, Wei Ying believed that Lan Wangji hated him.

If only he could  make Wei Ying believe how much he loved him, if only… he had a second chance. 

Tears rolled down his cheeks again. 

 

"Oh ancestors watching over me, please answer my plea, was my love vain, was my devotion all these years fruitless" 

 

Anger coiled him, rage of failed love has finally taken over. He clenched his robes with all his might.

 

" If my love was sincere, Then I, Lan Wangji of the Lan clan, beg you for a second chance, To ensure Wei Ying his happiness and a peaceful life"

 

"Are you sure?" a voice- no, a thousand voices echoed at once  in his ear. 

 

"who-" 

 

"Are you sure?"  the voices asks again. 

 

sure of what ? 

 

Then he remembers his outburst, his sudden storm of emotions.

 

"Yes,"  he replies firmly.  

 

"then fulfill your wish" voices echoed 

 

"you have my blessing A-Zhan" the voices- a voice of a woman, soothed him. 

 

"mother?" 

 

No one replied, or he was too deaf to hear. He could feel a sudden pull on his back, then someone was pushing him through his chest. His vision blurred until everything got black. 

---

Cold,was his first feeling. 

His mind was still hazy, ears buzzing of white noise. 

When he opens his eyes he doesn't see the ever familiar Jingshi. Instead he notices snow. Then noticed what he was covered  with wasn't a blanket but moist straws and grass. 

What shocked him more that his hands are not his hands anymore. Instead of fingers there were blue claws with sharp nails. His skin is covered with a lighter shade of blue fishlike scales. He had a long tail with an even lighter shade of blue hair or rather fur at the end.

He's not human but Some kind of reptile. 

 

How?

Was he cursed? He can't feel any resentful energy. He remembers how he was pushed and pulled. His ancestor's voice. His mother's voice.

"You have my blessing Wangji" what she said.

"Ah- you're awake" a child mused beside him.

The child  had bare feet, bare knees, was he not wearing pants? His reptile form was small so he had to look up for more details.  

The child, now running,  was carrying soggy grass, hay, sticks. He crouched before his small body. And Lan Wangji noticed his eyes.  

Big, bright, doey silver eyes. Memories that he believed he had forgotten flashed before him. 

"Wei Ying" he said before he could think of anything. 

"You talk! you know me?" 

Lan Wangji scanned his face more.

Silver doey eyes, button nose, upturn pink lips, bunny teeth and the most beautiful smile Lan Wangji had ever seen.

His body worked before him and he jumps at the boy to hug him."Ah-hahaha what are you doing?" Wei Ying, who is now a child, laughed bemused. 

When his brain caught up with his mind he noticed what he was doing. He wasn't hugging the boy but sprawled his small body over his face. He has to get used to this body.

He lowered himself to his previous place. 

And oh- he can fly. 

"You fly!"  

 

Turns out so.

 

"Are you a lizard? Can lizards fly?" Wei Ying questions and how can he not answer. First he has to find the answer himself. 

 

Is he a lizard? Can lizards fly? 

 

He feels Wei Ying running his fingers through his scalp and back. The sensation almost made him purr. Almost.

 

"Your hair is beautiful and you have hair on your tail too! it's so fluffy" saying he grabs the fur on his tail.

 

Scales, claws, furr, flying ability. He inspects his head, two small horns.

 

Yeah. He is a Dragon. 

 

So,Lan Wangji  somehow became a Dragon, was sent back to time where Wei Ying is a child. A Street child nonetheless. From what he remembers, he wished for a second chance to be with Wei Ying, to ensure his haphappiness. And now he's here. To make sure Wei Ying gets the life he deserves. Yes. He has connected the dots.

 

Wei Ying pats his back slowly and gently. When did he get on Wei Ying's lap? He was about to fall asleep when Wei Ying's stomach started grumbling. 

 

"Sorry" he giggles shyly. 

"No need to be sorry. you're hungry, do  you have food"

"i-it's alright I ate in the morning, weird lizard, are you hungry?" 

Lan Wangji scoffs  at the 'weird lizard' 

"Wei Ying, I'm a Dragon." 

"Dragon? from the Dragon boat festival?"

"Mn" how else is he supposed to explain that.

"You know A-Ying. How? Did I do something wrong? Are you going to take me under the sea? I don't taste good."

Lan Wangji doesn't know how each sentence is connected so he interrupts (it's forbidden to interrupt but who cares about rules anymore) before Wei Ying can spout more nonsense. 

"Wei Ying I'm here to help you." 

Silence, he can see Wei Ying's facial expression changing to hopeful then doubt then sorrow.

 

"Wei Ying I-" 

"It's okay, I'm eating when I can, I'll take a bath when snow melt, I'm meditating like baba taught me, you don't- I don't-" 

His voice started to tremble midway, he's on the verge of crying but holding back with a smile.

"Wei Ying, your parents sent me here." That's a lie, but he had taken care of Sizhui, and his two grandchildren and he knows the best way to calm children is to make up a harmless lie.

"My parents?" 

"Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren, are they your parents" 

Wei Ying nods.His hopeful eyes are back.

"They are with my family and they asked me to stay by you, so A-Ying won't get lonely, And A-Ying is so adorable how can I say no?"

Wei Ying giggled at that. His cheeks are all pink now. 

"B- but, can  A-Ying not go to mama and baba? A-Ying wants to be with his family."

His parents were dead. And Lan Wangji doesn't want Wei Ying to be the same. At least not so fast. 

"A-Ying, they are really far. Only grown ups are allowed there. You can go when you're grown up. Okay?" 

Wei Ying doesn't answer.

"How to grow up?" he mumbles, nearly inaudible. 

"Wei Ying has to eat a lot of good food"

At the mention of food his  stomach grumbled again. 

"There is no good food, vendor uncles don't stay in snow,  all the dogs take away the food I find. How will A-Ying grow." 

 

There is a hint of anger along with his whimper.

How can Lan Wangji forget such an important topic.He fought dogs for food in the streets. There is no food in the streets during winter, this alleyways corner is Wei Ying's shelter. He sleeps in soaked up grass and hay. He's barely clothed with a thin ragged cloth.Why hadn't he noticed before. 

He should look for better shelter and food until Jiang Fengmian comes and takes him. 

"Wait here, I'll look for food." 

 

Lan Wangji found a rowanberry tree near a forest. When  he tried to pluck them his claws would go through them as if he were a ghost. 

This is a problem. He can't physically  touch anything.  If he can't touch anything, how will he help Wei Ying.  The child has been hungry since morning. It's going to be night soon. He has to do something fast or- 

 

"Berries" shouted Wei Ying beneath the tree 

"You followed me here?" 

Wei Ying nodded and gave him a toothy smile.

" A-Ying was lonely." 

"It's colder here you should have stayed" 

Wei Ying paid him no heed, he started to climb the tree. 

If only he could pluck the fruits himself, Wei Ying wouldn't have to work so hard. 

This is useless. His whole existe- 

Did Wei Ying not pet him? He had touched Wei Ying. He can touch Wei Ying. 

He held Wei Ying's back who was struggling to climb. 

"I can touch you!" He sounded a bit too excited to be able to touch Wei Ying. 

"Yeah? push me up." 

Great. Lan Wangji pushed him when he needed to, held him for balance. His small body wasn't strong enough to lift Wei Ying up but it was enough for now.

When they acquired their prized berries.Wei Ying then did the unthinkable, he jumped from the tree branch before Lan Wangji could react. Luckily there was enough snow for a soft landing.

 

"Wei Ying, that was dangerous don't do that again." 

Wei Ying, face still buried in snow, started laughing. 

"You sound like Baba" he turned around and laughed more. 

Well he is old and raised two generations of kids. He doesn't mind being called baba.

 

*

 

Night fell down slowly and the winter breeze was harsh. They were back to their 'shelter' with extra berries. Now sleeping or trying to sleep after a tiring day.

Luckily he can keep Wei Ying warm. Wei Ying can feel his warmth and Lan Wangji is more than happy to snuggle him with his long snake-like body.

"What is your name?" Wei Ying asked 

He can't say Lan Zhan or Lan Wangji.  There's another him in this timeline. 

"No name, call me what you want"

Wei Ying hummed and hummed. Trying very hard to find a name. He made the same concentrated face his Wei Ying used to make. Rubbing his chin, brows furrowed.

 "No name no name, blue lizard with no name" 

Does he have to remind the kid again, he's a Dragon, not a lizard. Lan Wangji doesn't like lizards. 

"Then Wu ming (no name) is your name" he declares followed by laughter 

"Wu ming, huh? not bad." 

Wei Ying shone at his compliment, though that wasn't exactly a compliment. 

"Good right! It matches my courtesy name Wu Xian"

"You already have a courtesy name?" 

"Mama said I'm five year old now, so I can have a courtesy name as a gift," he said, being very proud of his achievement.

"Wuxian  is a very nice name"  Wei Ying shone even brighter. 

"Wuming is a very nice name." Wei Ying parroted with a monotone voice, or rather he tried a monotone voice. 

"Wuxian and Wuming will stay together forever?" 

 

"Mn. Will" 

Notes:

Here imagine Lan Wangji's Dragon form as Mushu from Mulan

As this fic is finished, heads up: I've tried adding some other ships like 3zun, ChengQing, Xuanli, SongXiao but they're not broadly discussed and I ended up ignoring them halfway (I had no energy to write them)

Chapter 2: To have no worldly concerns, To have no envy

Notes:

To avoid any confusion, Older Dragon form Lan Wangji will call his child self Lan Zhan.

Wei Ying looked like he had a full sleep after years. It reminds Lan Wangji of the time when Wei Ying had been in the Burial mounds. He was skeletal thin with dark eye bags. Though his memory is unclear  he remembers crying in his quarters after his last visit there. A-Yuan asked him to stay, if only he had stayed, things could have- 

No! It's not the time to be gloomy about that. He was given a second chance.A second chance to help Wei Ying,to be by his side. He will use his chance properly.

But he can't touch anything. Lan Wangji had come up with a theory. He wished to help Wei Ying, so he can only touch Wei Ying. He doesn't go through things he doesn't wish to change. So, he can't change or touch even a dust particle in this world. Except for Wei Ying everything is off-limits. 

For now he'll just look around for food, tell Wei Ying when he wakes up, then look for a better shelter. 

 

"You're still here," Wei Ying said, still rubbing his eyes. He's early.

"Why shouldn't i be" 

Wei Ying looked guilty for asking, "I thought you are a dream" 

"I'm not a dream or a hallucination, clean your self, eat the berries, we'll look for a better shelter." 

Wei Ying took a chunk of snow and started rubbing it in his face.

"wha- what are you doing! Wei Ying!" surprised  Lan Wangji inquired.

When Wei Ying thought he had rubbed enough he showed his face to Lan Wangji 

 

"All clean!"

He had rubbed ice to wash his face. Lan Wangji fondly sighs. 

"You're all red. Don't do that again. you'll get sick. "

"But I  don't get sick, baba said A-Ying is very strong." 

"Mn" 

Wei Ying laughed, throwing his head backwards.Lan Wangji doesn't know what was so funny. Regardless, it made Wei Ying laugh so he's not going to complain.

Wei Ying's morning hair or hair in general looked like a badly made best. How long had he been in the streets? 

"Your hair-"

"ah- my hair! wait" Wei Ying started to dig something from his grass bed. 

It was a red ribbon. Lan Wangji feels a rush of warm emotions run through his heart, his now little reptile heart.

"Can you teach me to tie my hair? mama used to tie my hair, I don't know how."

That's how Lan Wangji ended up combing Wei Ying's hair with his reptile hands- claws. Instructing him how to make his knot tight since he can't touch the ribbon. 

They managed to tie a lose ponytail. And Wei Ying looked more presentable than before.  

"Wei Ying, do you have pants?" asked Lan Wangji.

Startled, Wei Ying pulled his knee length dress to cover more of his leg. His face getting red again. The question was out of the blue, he'll admit. 

Shy now?

"You don't." Lan Wangji confirmed.

Wei Ying mumbled something mouth full of berries. 

"Say again." 

He mumbled again. 

"Wei Ying" Lan Wangji now really sounds like an exhausted father.

"I said, I gave it to a vendor uncle" 

"Why?"

"He said he'll give me dumplings if i give my clothes."

He was scammed. He'll find that guy and- do something against the rules.

"All your clothes?" 

"Mn! He said I can keep this," holding the hem of his dress "and have two dumpling" he showed him two fingers.

He was scammed so badly. Lan Wangji will kill him. How cruel one has to be to take advantage of a child's hunger.

"Wei Ying, a set of dress cost more than two dumpling, that person was bad." 

Wei Ying continued eating his berries as though the news wasn't new to him.

"It's alright, those dumplings were tasty"

This child.

Wei Ying was a kind hearted person, he knew. But at such an early age his kindness will only give him misfortune.  And Lan Wangji can't let that happen. 

"You're too kind, Wei Ying". That's why he fell more in love with the boy.

"Mama and baba said A-Ying to be kind." Lan Wangji never got to know much about Wei Ying's parents. Except his mother was immortal cultivator Baoshan Sanren's pupil and his father was a servant. They were amazing parents nevertheless. To teach a young kid the virtue of kindness was an extraordinary trait. 

"They are good parents. But not everyone is worthy of kindness." Lan Wangji had to teach him about this harsh world. He wants to teach him all the things his parents couldn't teach him due to their death.

Wei Ying, busy eating berries, lips red, pouted. He looks adorable doing that.

"but-" he tried to protest. "They will take advantage of you." Lan Wangji, after saying, realized how angry he sounded.

Wei Ying doesn't say anything but nibbles on his berry. 

Why was Lan Wangji like this! He was supposed to make him happy, not sad! He can't do anything right. He used to  get angry at his uncle for being too harsh to his son or grandchildrens. But now he's repeating the same mistakes his uncle made.

"Wei Ying, I-"

"Wuming is right, I'll listen to Wuming.'' he said with enthusiasm. "Let's look for shelter." said with even more enthusiasm leaving Lan Wangji no room to apologize. 

So their search was a failure because Wei Ying saw two dogs and ran back to where they were.He was trembling with fear.

"I'm so-"

"Wei Ying did nothing wrong" 

Take that.  Lan Wangji internally exclaimed. A vocabulary used by a certain Lan Jingyi. That kid rubbed off a lot on him. 

If Wei Ying won't let him apologize, Lan Wangji isn't going to let him apologize as well.Lan Wangji coiled himself around Wei Ying, giving as much comfort as possible. 

Few (long) moments later he was back to normal, no more shelter hunting, he wanted to play.  

So play it is.  

He made three straw dolls and placed them together. 

 

"See Wuming, this one is baba, this one is mama, and this" he held  a smaller doll "is A-ying." 

"Well made" Lan Wangji rested on his shoulder,  complimented his crafty work and Wei Ying giggles.

His giggles got distracted as he noticed a pair of white boots accompanied by white robes, white forehead ribbon.

 

Him ! It was Him! His child self. But he had never met Wei Ying as a child, had he? 

The child Lan Wangji, Lan Zhan, held out  a drum toy saying nothing.

 "He's offering you." Lan Wangji whispers into Wei Ying's ear.

"For me?" dumbfounded, Wei Ying asked.

"Mn" that's all Lan Zhan says. Not even a nod.

Wei Ying hesitates before taking the toy.

 

 Lan Wangji remembers his long lost memory. 

A child with a drum toy with a most genuine smile. That was probably the first time someone other than brother and mother smiled so genuinely to him.

Then he glanced at Wei Ying giving the same beautiful genuine smile he had before. And Lan Wangji could pinpoint the second he, his child self, fell in love with Wei Ying. 

Lan Zhan's dull golden eyes shone brightly along with his pink ears. He's about to run away now, just like Lan Wangji always had.

"Tell him to play with you," LanWangji declared without thinking. 

"But he looks busy." 

"Just ask him." 

"gege!" 

 

That's right, Wei Ying, call him gege. He won't be able to run away. Lan Wangji cheered. 

His child self though, looks miserably stuck to the ground. Torn between running away and staying.

 

"um- do you want to play with me?" 

 

Wei Ying used that doey eyes and whimpering voice, Lan Wangji knows his child self won't be able to turn down that.

Lan Wangji was right, his child self now crouching in front of Wei Ying.  And Wei Ying showing him his newly made dolls and explaining who is who.

"I'll make gege's family." Wei Ying got to work as soon as he  mused. And finished within a minute. Both Lan Wangji looked at his tiny little hands doing the neat work.

"This is gege's mama, gege's baba and this is gege." he showed them one by one. But the other boy didn't seem happy. 

Already worried, Wei Ying asked "is it wrong? I'm sorry, i-"

"Don't have" Child Lan Wangji said 

Wei Ying, dumbfounded just stared at him.

"Don't have a mother." Lan Zhan clarified. 

This was probably the time Lan Wangji's mother died. Child must be in a lot of pain when mentioned his mother. 

You'll get used to the pain

"A-Ying doesn't have too!" Wei Ying exclaimed as if they were discussing their favorite toy."A-Ying doesn't have baba too, gege have one?  Wuming said they are somewhere far, A-Ying can meet them when he grow up, if I find gege's mama, I'll tell her to meet you, okay?" 

Lan Zhan was now dumb founded, probably wondering how the kid can talk so much so fast.

"Mn" he said after collecting himself, then "will go with you." 

Wei Ying gave a confused look.

"I will go with you." he repeated, "will A-Ying take me with him?" 

Wei Ying looked delighted "will! will! It'll be fun, Wuming! Wuming! Can gege come?" 

He'll come out of his skin with so much exuberance. 

"He can, after growing up." Lan Wangji replied from his shoulder. 

Wei Ying practically jumping in his place, "Wuming said you can come after growing up, so gege has to eat a lot and grow up fast!" he started to lecture the kid.(who already gets lectured enough) 

"Mn" the child sounded happy with it."Then we are friends, here." Wei Ying gave the hand made straw dolls to the other kids.

"Friends?" Lan Zhan looked at the toy and then the boy holding the toy.

Wei Ying shoved the dolls in Lan Zhan's hands, saying "gege gave me his toy, so we're friends! forever!  when we grow up we'll go there together."  

"Okay, friends." Lan Zhan replied with a little but fond smile. Then he looked at his shoulder, where Lan Wangji was sitting.

"Wuming?" he asks, confused. Anyone will be confused by his name.

"Wuming is my friend, he may look like a lizard but he's actually a Dragon and he can fly!" 

The child raises one of his brows as if he doesn't believe him. Which is rude. 

 

Respect your elders, even though the said elder is a small mythical-reptile.

"There is nothing" he says 

 

"No one other than you can see or hear me," he says to Wei Ying from his shoulder.

 

Wei Ying then described how one morning  he found his unconscious body, how he helped him, terms and conditions that he agreed and everything in between. How he got named Wuming. Both Lan Wangji and Lan Zhan was just glad to be there, listening quietly to Wei Ying's never ending rambling 

"Tell me your name gege" 

Lan Zhan stood up, bowed formally like his uncle taught him.

"This one is named Lan Zhan, courtesy Wangji"

 

So tense.

 

Had he always been like this, after raising two generations of jolly children Lan Wangji can't lament how stiff his child self was.

 

"oh oh" Wei Ying remembered something now. 

He also bowed, not as perfectly as the other child did, but good enough considering his age. 

"I'm Wei Ying, courtesy name Wuxian,Lan Zhan." Then gave those heart warming smiles that made Lan Wangji's life equally happy and miserable. 

Wei Ying was right though. Stiffy Lan Zhan's reactions were amusing. 

The way his pupils blew and ears got pink he hates to accept how much he wants to see more of those reactions.

"A-Zhan! you're here! thanks heavens!" his elder brother, now so young came running to them. By the look of his misty eyes, he was very much crying while searching for his didi.

"Don't go anywhere like that." he says panting, trying to calm  himself . 

"Xiongzhang." 

Wei Ying gives anyother questioning look to Lan Zhan, who is just standing there. Shouldn't he say something to his brother,that boy was crying,begging to the heavens.

Lan Wangji feels frustrated at his younger selves behavior. 

Good heavens there will be more of this.

 

"Elder brother, family." he says to Wei Ying.

"Why didn't you say!" Wei Ying got back to his straw doll making work."Is this okay?" He showed another doll which was slightly larger than the doll Lan Zhan. And Lan Zhan was happy with his work. Who wouldn't be.

"And who could this be?"  Lan Xichen, calming himself, asked Wei Ying with a playful tone.

"I'm Wei Ying, Lan Zhan's friend."  He said profoundly. 

"Mn" Lan Wangji also said, profoundly.

 

Now it was Lan Xichen's turn to be dumbfounded. And he has enough reasons to be.

His stiff little brother, who barely talks to him,who stopped talking after their mother's death, who'd rather be alone than before another human, has now made a friend in an hour. The boy looks like he's about to cry again for the second time in a day.

"Xiongzhang." Lan Zhan held his brother's sleeve, at least he tried to comfort.His brother will understand him anyway.

"I'm fine A-Zhan" he sniffed and wiped his eyes and bowed. 

"Nice to meet you Wei Ying, This one thanks you for being his brother's friend." 

Wei Ying replied with a smile. 

"I'm sorry A-Zhan, we have to go, uncle is looking for us."   

Lan Wangji can see animal ears dropping from the two childs heads.

 

"B-But we can come tomorrow, okay?" 

"Okay" Lan Zhan replied,the child is not really okay and his brother knows that too.But they wouldn't want to disappoint their uncle or worse make him angry.

"See you tomorrow." Lan Xichen wishes to Wei Ying. Wei Ying who was visibly sad gave a smile and wished them the same.

"Wuming" He said as he stared at the two white figures go. Lan Wangji acknowledged with a hum.

"Let's not change shelter, this place is the best." 

"Because you meet that child here and want to keep meeting him here?"

Wei Ying sheepishly smiled and rubbed his nose with a finger. He ran towards the forest "Let's get more berries"

"You need to eat something more than just berries" But who will listen to him anymore? Wei Ying is too happy to be able to make a new friend. He's buzzing and vibrating.

 

Too much energy  

Stay like that.

Notes:

According to Google translate Wuming means No name. So there you go.

I'll try to update weekly.

Chapter 3: Dislike separating from the clear river

Summary:

I was overwhelmed with the attention I got from first two chapters. Thankyou for reading. The upcoming chapters contain mundane slice of life genre stories. Just Wei Ying and Lan Wangji discovering life. So it might get a little boring, hope you like it.

After meeting Lan Zhan, Wei Ying refused to move. His friend said he'll meet him there,  so he was going to wait there. 

 

"Wei Ying, you don't know when he'll come, it's almost noon"

Even so Wei Ying whined saying "but he promised." 

 

Lan Wangji hates to see Wei Ying sad but he can't trust his child self.  He might not come. Even if he wanted to,will  his uncle let him come? 

 

"There!" Wei Ying exclaimed, running  toward a white robbed boy around the same height. Unfortunately, That wasn't him, he wasn't wearing the Lan forehead ribbon. 

 

While running Wei Ying accidentally stepped on a tail- a dog's tail It growled and  started barking at him furiously. Wei Ying was scared to death, trying his best to run fast. But fear took over him and he stumbled and fell on his knees. Lan Wangji wished he could protect the poor boy, shield  him from the dog. How unfortunate they were, the dog went through him and bit his arm. Wei Ying was struggling, trying to get away, crying on top of his lungs. Lan Wangji foolishly tried to pull off the dog though his attempt failed. 

 

Please someone help him. 

 

But nobody came for their aid. Everyone was busy with their own life. They pretended like nothing happened. 

 

Havens please. 

 

As if heavens listened to his plea, a flash of white robe appeared before him and kicked the dog.

 

Thank heavens. 

 

Lan Wangji thought the person would be a kind noble man,but it was none other than his child self.

A kid saving another kid. They're both going to be in trouble. His child self isn't strong enough to defeat a fully grown animal.

 

The dog who was kicked in the head before,  regained its consciousness soon, ready to jump at the white robed child. 

 

Lan Zhan, though small, held his head high. He grabbed Wei Ying's hand and ran the opposite way. Wei Ying still hasn't opened his eyes, he was still shaking with fear.

 

It was hard for Lan Zhan to drag the other kid. He too stumbled after stepping on his long robe. The dog took its chance and jumped on them but was sent flying to the opposite direction.

 

Xiongzhang!

 

His brother came running and kicked the dog directly on its stomach. He stood between the two kids and the dog.

 

That dog was a stubborn one. Getting kicked twice wasn't enough for it. It stood up again to attack Lan Xichen as well. But lost its balls when a bigger white robed figure came forth.

 

Shufu!

 

Their uncle glared at the dog and the dog ran away with its tail between its legs.

 

"Shufu" Both Lan brothers bowed to him with a guilty look. 

 

Uncle looked like a young boy without  his mustache and goatee. He looks a lot like Lan Wangji from  his Adulthood days. Except the scowling. Uncle always frowned like Jiang Wanyin. 

Their uncle sighed "I told you two to wait near the stalls." 

 

"This one apologies but the child was in danger" his brother said, still bowing to the man.

 

"Wangji" 

 

Lan Zhan paid no attention to his uncle as he was busy taking care of Wei Ying who was still sniffing, trying to stop his hiccups.

 

Understanding he was ignored he continued on his own."Why would the dog attack?"

 

"I'm s-sorry, I- wasn't looking and, and stepped on its tail" Wei Ying said in between his hiccups and sniffles.

Uncle raised his brow, he clearly didn't understand what Wei Ying said. So Lan Xichen repeated for him.

 

Uncle sighed again, "Watch where you step. Xichen, Wangji let's go." 

Saying so, Uncle started walking on his way, knowing his nephews would follow. 

 

"Wei Ying"  Lan Zhan fetched a paper bag from his sleeve. Inside there were two squashed steamed red bean buns. 

 

"For me?" Wei Ying was surprised.  

Lan Zhan looked at the squashed buns disappointed.

"no" 

 

"no?" 

 

"Not good, buy new one" he wrapped the stem buns again.

 

"no! Lan Zhan, they are good" Wei Ying snatched the bag and divided one bun suggesting they should share.

 

Lan Xichen fake coughed for their attention."Wei Ying, A-Zhan we have to go, Shufu will get angry" 

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan were not ready to leave each other so soon. They stayed silent.

Uncle who was listening from afar came in front of them and crouched to be eye level with Wei Ying. Wei Ying flinched seeing his angry face.

 

Shufu, you're scaring Wei Ying. 

 

"Is your name Wei Ying?" uncle inquired with a heavy voice. 

 

Wei Ying nodded.

 

"parents name?" 

 

Wei Ying first looked at him confused and scared.

 

"What are the names of your father and mother?" uncle repeated.

 

"Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren" Lan Wangji whispered in his ear and Wei Ying repeated. 

 

Uncle looked pained, He and Cangse Sanren had been classmates. Lan Wangji knows that. But to have such  a pained expression for a classmate surprised him.

 

"you, do you know where your parents are?" 

 

Shufu, that's not a question you should ask to an orphaned kid.

 

"somewhere far" Wei Ying replied. 

 

Good. I taught you well.

"Shufu, you know him?" Lan Xichen asked. Curious, both brothers waited for an answer. 

 

"Yes" Uncle answered his nephews, then to Wei Ying "Your mother was," he paused  "my friend." 

 

Shufu never regarded Changse Sanren as a friend in his life. Lan Wangji even believed he hated the woman for shaving his precious goatee. 

 

He looked at Wei Ying's tiny figure. Thin, dirty, ragged clothes,old and new scars. Blood. 

 

"Your Uncle Jiang Fengmian is looking for you. I'll take you to him,if you want"  

 

Wei Ying hasitates. He looks at Lan Wangji. "It's okay Wei Ying.  They're good people" Lan Wangji ensures, fascinated that Wei Ying remembered their 'dont believe everyone' conversation.

 

"Okay, I want." He answered happily.

At that all the Lan faces lit up.

 

Lan Qiren stands up clearing his throat. 

"But first we should do something about your wounds" 

*

They rested in an inn of Yilling. Uncle rented a room for them. Prepared a bath for Wei Ying and gave Lan Zhan's spare robe to wear. 

 

Lan Wangji helped Wei Ying with bathe, careful with his scars and wounds. Wei Ying was shy at first to get naked infront of him. Lan Wangji can't believe this boy was known for being shameless in his lifetime.

 

He helps him wash his hair as properly as possible, getting rid of the tangles. Helped him dry up  and told him how to don his given robes properly.

 

Wei Ying fresh out of the bath, proper clothes looks like a child of a rich young master. Praiseworthy, precious and so loveable. 

 

As a lotus flower breaking the surface.

 

He peeked his head from the privacy screen to look for the Lan Brothers. 

 

"shy again?"

 

Lan Wangji can tell how giddy Wei Ying is feeling. He pushes Wei Ying to go to the   front room where Lan Brothers are sitting quietly. 

 

" Wei gongzi looks beautiful" Lan Xichen coos as soon as he notices him.

Lan Zhan, the kid, really doesn't know to be subtle or to voice his feelings. He's staring at him with big golden eyes, face as flushed as Wei Ying. 

Wei Ying shyly smiles and taps his nose. 

"Is it okay? Lan Zhan" 

 

"Mn" 

 

Soon Uncle returns with a physician. The woman checks his wounds with a grave look. She applies ointment to which Wei Ying hisses. 

"The amount of bite marks are terrible, I'm surprised you're still alive" she says before handing the rest of medicines to his uncle. 

 

*

 

Two days later they arrived at Yunmeng Jiang's Lotus pier. The lotus ponds have withered in the cold season. Wei Ying would have  squealed with joy if he saw the beautiful lotus that Yunmeng is famous for.

A servant takes them to the main hall. They had to wait a while before Jiang Fengmian arrived. His arrival was accompanied by his wife,Madam Yu. She doesn't look happy nor does she look angry. 

 

"Sect leader Jiang" Lan Qiren bows "I heard you've been looking for your late friend's lost child" . This though makes Madam Yu frown. 

Sect leader Jiang gives a practiced smile.

"Search isn't going so well. Five months have passed already. My family believes he also passed away along with his parents" 

Lan Wangji's blood  boils. How can he say something like that? Wasn't he the one who found Wei Ying.  He gave up looking for him so easily. 

 

Five months. Wei Ying was in the streets for five months.

 

Lan Qiren scoffs. "Maybe if you check your surroundings better you'll find him"

 

Madam Yu makes a tch sound "We don't have free time like you to look around for a dead child." 

 

Lan Wangji noticed how Lan Xichen flinched at her remarks. Good that the other two children behind him can't catch up to what the adults are saying. 

 

Lan Qiren held Wei Ying's hand and dragged him forward."Well, here he is, Son of Wei Changze and Changse Sanren, Wei Ying, courtesy Wuxian, the name you suggested, Sect leader Jiang" 

 

There was a poisonous tone in the last comment.  Sect leader Jiang had suggested Wei Ying's courtesy name.  So there is a possibility that Uncle had also suggested a name for him, since they were friends. 

 

Both sect leader and sect madam looked shocked. Then if Jiang Fengmian's secondary reaction was delight, his wife's was the opposite.

 

He crouched before the small boy and squeezed his arms. 

"A-Ying? I couldn't recognize you in those Gusu Lan robes. Thank you Master Lan I ow-" 

"Wait"Behind him his wife interrupted. Lan Qiren was itching to tell her that interrupting mid sentence is forbidden but knowing the woman he kept quiet. 

 

"Before owing to someone, Before taking in a child shouldn't you discuss the matter with your sect." Zidian cracked in her fingers. 

 

Sect leader Jiang stood before her.

"My lady, I think we have already discussed enough about this."

 

"Fengmian! We talked about a dead child. Not what to do when he walks in and asks to be adopted as your ward" She shouted and pointed towards Wei Ying. 

 

The three kids flinched, Wei Ying staggered backwards and gripped Uncle's robe. Lan Zhan  also gripped His uncle's robe. He's not accustomed to noise. Not used to the shouting and fighting. Lan Xichen sat there quietly looking at the tea cups, he's also scared. 

 

"If you two are going to argue, please do it somewhere private. There are children over here" Lan Qiren looked to his left. At the main entrance, Jiang siblings were overhearing  the commotion. 

 

"You don't get to tell me-"

 

"Lady Yu, please don't forget your manners. Let's go to our quarters, we'll discuss" Sect leader Jiang said to his wife. Then to Lan Qiren "Sorry for wasting your time you can leave him her-" 

 

"I can wait till you make a decision" Lan Qiren interrupted, "it's just like your wife said, I have a lot of free time in my hand" 

 

Shufu broke a rule.

 

Sect leader forced his wife to privately discuss. While they sat in silence. 

"Wuming, did I do something wrong? Are they angry for me?" 

 

"you did nothing wrong, it'll be alright"

 

A small pebble hits his shoulder. It was one of the Jiang siblings, signaling him to go there.

 

"Can I go? They are calling me" Wei Ying points at the gate. But 'They' were already gone.

 

"Go. don't get lost" Uncle sipped his tea. 

"Wangji, Xichen, you may as well" He continued sipping his tea. The Lan kids were more than happy to have such an opportunity. 

 

Uncle however, looked tired. He probably wants some alone time away from the kids. Honestly, Lan Wangji understands. He loved his grandkids a lot, they wouldn't leave his side for a second to the point it got annoying and he just wanted to be alone for a while.

 

*

 

"Why did you tell him we are calling, and it was A-jie who wanted to talk to you, not me." A small Jiang Wanyin huffed. 

 

He has had this kind of personality ever since childhood, huh? 

 

Jiang Yanli patted her brother's shoulder and bowed to the three guests"we are glad you're here" Wei Ying along with the Lan brothers bowed back. 

 

"Do you remember me A-Ying?" She asked gently. 

Wei Ying hesitates before answering. 

Jiang Yanli, being the kind understanding  woman she was, smiled."Of course you don't, you were only three back then. Please be seated." 

 

She took them to a jade table beside a lotus pond. The lotuses there were in full bloom with the help of a talisman.

 

"pretty" Wei Ying noted and the Lan brothers hummed in agreement. 

 

"Aren't they? it's more pretty in summer! lotuses everywhere" Jiang Wanyin exclaimed.

Wei Ying and the Jiang boy found their own flow to the conversation. They talked about Lotus flowers, lotus pods, favorite  food, chicken, frogs and then dogs. 

Jiang Wanyin wanted to show his puppies.

Jasmine, princesses and love. They had to stop him from calling them, convince him no matter how good they were Wei Ying would get scared. 

 

"scaredy cat" he sticked out his tongue

"Cats are better than dogs" Wei Ying copied his gesture as well.

 

Then the Jiang boy started pointing out how wrong Wei Ying was and how dogs are better than cats.Wei Ying countered his point with all his vast knowledge about cats.

 

The Lan Brothers on the other hand hadn't spoken much. They quietly sat there listening to the two boys bickering. 

Lan Zhan, that child, looked like he was about to cry or throw hands. Only resisting because of his elder brother.

"A-Cheng, stop fighting, help me set the table" She came holding a pot, steaming warm. She had managed to make a dish in such a short time at such a young age and served her guests. Miss Jiang was so much better than the sect madam. She knows how to treat guests.

 

"Lady Jiang, you didn't have to'' Lan Xichen says, though he's very much eager to eat. 

"it's not  a big deal, I had ingredients ready" 

 

Wei Ying helps them set the table.  Pork rib soup but with Lotus roots. It looked mildly spicy. 

"it's so tasty" Wei Ying exclaims at first then eats faster as if someone will snatch it away from him. 

"This is the best, It's my favorite, you're the best jie" He cheers with his mouthful. 

 

Jiang Wanyin sneered beside him."Didn't you said your favorite was steamed red bean buns from Yilling, and it's Lady Jiang for you."

 

"That's my favorite too" angrily to Jiang Wanyin, then cheerfully "You're the best Lady Jiang" to Lady Jiang. 

 

Lady Jiang laughed, "You can call me Shijie, father has been wanting to take you as our ward. If mother agrees you'll stay here, I'll make you more soup" she pinches Wei Ying's cheeks.  

"Can Lan Zhan stay too?" Wei Ying asked.

 Lan brothers silently eating their soup, struggling with their spice tolerant but not showing, smiled weakly.

 

"Lan-er gongzi has his own family to stay with, but he can come over and meet us" She said as if traveling all the way to Yunmeng from Gusu is a kids play. 

 

They could hear the adults shouting from a distance.

"again?" Jiang Wanyin rolled his eyes as if this was a daily occurrence for them.

Lan Qiren started to call for Lan Xichen. He sounded furious. Their uncle finds them before they can prepare themselves. He marched towards them, holding Wei Ying with his right hand and Lan Zhan with his left, ordering  them to follow as he dragged them with him. 

 

"You can't just come here and do whatever you want" Madam Yu came after him, behind her was her husband. 

 

"I'm the mistress here, my decision is the final decision here" She tries to grab Wei Ying from behind but her husband stops her before she could.

 

"Fengmian! you dare- are you out of your mind" bewildered she shouts.

They continued their fight but by then uncle had dragged them out of Lotus pier. Already in a boat.

 

The kids were as confused as Lan Wangji was. What had happened, what they decided, what she decided, why was uncle so angry that his face turned purple-red. Where were they going.None asked those questions but they were there. Lan Xichen signaled them to be quiet while uncle meditated.

 

Wei Ying was squirming the whole time, he was most likely blaming himself. 

 

"Wei Ying, it's not your fault"  Lan Wangji coiled around his shoulder. 

But Wei Ying didn't believe him, and didn't say anything either. 

*

"Wei Wuxian will stay in Cloud recesses'' uncle said after two days of silent journey. There was heavy silence except for the sound of the horse carriage they were in and also an excited baby Lan Zhan. He was silent but his excitement was loud. 

 

Lan Wangji himself wasn't happy.  Wei Ying was supposed to stay in Lotus pier , grow up under the warm sun of Yunmeng.

Not in the cold mist of Cloud recesses.

He was supposed to carry the Yunmeng Jiang motto, Attempt the impossible. Not chained by meaningless cruel rules of being righteous. He was supposed to grow up carefree, enthusiastic and youthful.

 

This wasn't supposed to happen.

 

Had he ruined everything he was here for. Will Wei Ying be happy in Cloud recesses? What is he gonna do?

Chapter 4: Take root in the snow drifts

Gusu was colder than Yiling and Yunmeng. Northern clouds covered the sky. White snow covered the grounds. Lan Xichen gave his fur cloak to Wei Ying. Wei Ying's knuckles were getting pale. Though he tried his best to hide his discomfort he kept sneezing from time to time. At one point when they were near the mountains of Cloud recesses, Lan Qiren gave him a warming talisman. It brought some color to his pale hands. 

 

Wei Ying's curious eyes scanned everything as he climbed the steps on the mountain. Lan Zhan was holding his hand firmly and his hand was held by his elder brother. The disciple guarding the gates bowed to them. They weren't subtle at staring at Wei Ying.

 

Do not stare foolishly. 

Wei Ying kept scanning his surroundings quietly. The hallways were empty and quiet, not even a murmur could be heard. Until a man calls them from behind. He walked towards them and bowed to Lan Qiren. 

 

"You're late, I was worried," the man, Lan Zirui said as soon as he bowed. He noticed Wei Ying's presence but said nothing.  

 

Lan Zirui was Lan Wangji's childhood teacher. He gave formal education to him and other Lan children. Lan Wangji never liked him for his over friendly behavior. Back then he thought Lan Zirui wasn't a good teacher. As a teacher he'd often overlook students who broke rules. He always told them, especially him, to enjoy and play. While his uncle taught him the opposite. Lan Zirui, even as a teacher, used to get punished for him. Lan Wangji feels ashamed now. Because years later,

 He had advised the same to his students. Lan Jingyi used most of it and would get into trouble. Lan Qiren scolded him for not being strict to his students. Lan Wangji wished he could apologize to the man in front of him. 

 

"Take care of them, I'm going to meditate in the cold spring" saying so, Lan Qiren took his way without a second glance.

 

"Eh?  in this season?" Lan Zirui asked but he got no answer. "yeah sure, didn't even ask whether I was busy." he said once their uncle was out of ear shot.

 

He groaned and crouched to be eye level with the childrens. "Who could this young  master be?" he tapped Wei Ying's red nose. Wei Ying let go of Lan Zhan's hand and bowed. "I- My name is Wei Ying. Courtesy Wuxian." Lan Zhan held his hand as soon as he finished his bow. This did not go unnoticed by the man.

"I see, Ji xiong has got himself a new friend," he teased Lan Zhan and his brother giggled.

"Since Master Qiren didn't give me any details Xichen gongzi has to do it, can he?" his tone was playful when he asked. 

 

They went to Lan Xichen's quarters and discussed what happened. Despite being only nine Lan Xichen was good at explaining what he saw. 

 

In the meantime Wei Ying was given tea to warm himself."bitter" he cried but draked two cups as it was warm. Soon a  servant came and asked Zirui to take Wei Ying to the Conference hall. Lan Zhan wanted to tag along but he had to wait outside the hall as his elders told him to.

Ten Lan elders were present there, they were those whom  Lan Wangji injured during the siege. After his attack they never talked or glanced at him. Lan Wangji felt self-conscious in front of them. But they weren't here for him. They are here because of Wei Ying.

 

"Qiren, speak up" The eldest one ordered. 

Lan Qiren stood up from his seat and rested his hand on Wei Ying's head.

"I want Wei Wuxian to stay and grow up here. I'll take all his financial responsibility" 

 

Everyone present there along with Lan Wangji was shocked. Except for Lan Zirui, who seems to have guessed it from Xichen's explanation and Wei Ying who didn't understand a thing.

 

"You want to adopt him?" one elder asked.

"No" 

"Then take him as your ward?" another elder asked.

Lan Qiren hesitates a little before answering "Yes." Silence fell upon the hall until someone whispered "You and your brother," exasperatedly. "Doing whatever pleases you, taking hasty decisions" the elder continued her exasperation when uncle kept his quiet. 

"He's Cangse's kid" he said when the elders had nothing more to say. Everyone was speechless hearing his mother's name. They knew Cangse Sanren had died along with her husband. They knew sect leader Jiang had been looking for the child. They questioned why he had not given the kid to the one who was looking for him. Why had he brought another child when he already had two other children under his care. 

 

Lan Wangji had the same questions. 

 

"I'm afraid the Jiang sect won't treat the kid rightfully. The sect's mistress expressed abhorrence towards his parents." Lan Qiren responded to the questions. 

 

As far as Lan Wangji knows Wei Ying was treated the same as the Jiang siblings.He heard rumors that the sect leader favored him over his own son. Also, Wei Ying used to get punished by madam Yu a lot due to his mischievousness. He didn't know about her hate towards his parents. 

 

"I don't want to say this but," Lan Qiren continued "Sect mistress stated that she wants the child to act as a servant for her children, she wanted him to follow his fathers footsteps." 

 

Everyone's expression grew darker. Then they softened as they saw Wei Ying nervously standing beside Lan Qiren.

 

Lan Wangji was now confused, where will Wei Ying have a happy childhood? His Wei Ying never talked about his childhood sufferings. Hell, his Wei Ying never talked about any of his suffering. He always pretended that everything was good, he smiled like he was the happiest boy in the world. 

"To think Qiren would take in a child whose mother got on his nerves." An elder mused in a tone that can be called both teasing and pity. "She even shaved his beard," another elder added with the same tone.

Everyone present there laughed and chuckled. Lan Qiren frowned more but his face had a shade of pink. Lan Wangji gets the impression that the elders know more about his and Wei Ying's mother's relationship. 

 

"Did Wei Wuxian agree to it?" the eldest one asked. 

 

"Do I need his agreement? He's only five." said Lan Qiren.Lan Wangji face palms.

 

"Of course you do, You're hopeless  with kids." The elders wailed and Zirui laughed. 

 

Truly, Shufu, You're so hopeless with kids.

 

"Wei Wuxian, Do you understand what we discussed?" The Lan elder asked.

 

"Mother shaved Shufu's beard?" Wei Ying replied instantly.  It was Lan Qiren's turn to face palm. Everyone tried to bite back their laughter, Zirui didn't.

 

"Your Shufu wants you to be his ward, do you want the same?" She emphasized the word Shufu. 

 

Wei Ying looked lost, clearly he didn't understand the meaning behind it.

 

"It means he'll be your guardian," He said to Wei Ying. Wei Ying had more questions to ask but nervousness took over him. Lan Wangji needs more time to clarify his questions. 

 

"Honorary elders, may this one interrupt?" clasping his hands together, Lan Zirui stood up from his corner. "Wei Wuxian is only a kid, he needs more time to absorb information, please give him time to have a proper answer." He bowed.

 

The elders agreed to meet again after sunset. Lan Qiren gave Lan Zirui the job of explaining saying "since you're children's favorite teacher" and left to meditate in his residence.  Lan Zirui took Wei Ying to his own residence, gave him cookies to eat  telling him to wait for him until he comes back. 

*

Lan Wangji explained what being a ward meant, he didn't explain what Madam Yu indicated or why they left Lotus pier like that.

 

"Shufu will give Wei Ying shelter, good food, better clothes without expecting anything back. He'll be like your parents but you don't have to call him father." Lan Wangji says trying to clean the cookie crumbs from his cheeks but his hand goes through them.

 

"Shufu will help A-Ying grow?" 

 

"Mn" 

 

"A-Ying can play with Lan Zhan more?"

 

"Mn" 

 

"Forever?" 

 

"As long as you want." 

 

Wei Ying beams. Until more questions arise.

 

"Will A-Ying get scolded?" 

 

"No, but you must be a good boy in front of them." 

 

"A-Ying is a good boy" he huffs "And dogs?" 

 

"There are no dogs in Cloud recesses" 

 

"Mn! Good" Lan Wangji chuckles at that.

 

"Sorry to keep you waiting" Lan Zirui entered the room. He sat beside him with a book in his hand. 

 

"Do you know how to read?" 

 

"I can write my name," Wei Ying says, being very proud. 

 

"That's great, But be careful. Being prideful is forbidden in Cloud recesses" he gives Wei Ying a brush and an empty scroll.

 

"Now, do you understand what  being a ward means" 

 

"Shufu will take care of A-Ying" 

 

"That's right, Shufu will give A-Ying whatever he needs only if you agree to it and sign the paper" 

 

Wei Ying doesn't know what 'sign the paper' means. Lan Wangji explains to him. 

He has to write his name on a paper with do's and don'ts. He writes his name on the given paper.

"I can sign the paper" he shows it to the man. Seeing the paper, Lan Zirui laughs and then sighs. Sure his hand writing isn't the best but laughing was rude.

 

"This won't do, Lan Qiren might tear the paper immediately after seeing your handwriting" He pinched his brows.

 

Shufu very much would.

 

"I'll tell them to have a fingerprint" 

 

Lan Zirui explains the written terms and conditions to him. Most of them were to abide by the rules.Pledges to bring no harm to the clan and such. How he can break the contract and live on his own, How Lan Qiren can break the contract if he desires to. Wei Ying flinched after hearing that.He had to console that Lans are very patient and his shufu was the most patient of all so needed not to worry. 

 

"Wei Wuxian, do you want to keep your family name?" he asked.

 

He explained what a family name was. What a family name could do. The advantages of having Lan as a family name and the disadvantages of having an unknown family name.

 

"It's your wish afterall" he finished. 

Lan Ying wasn't as pleasant to say as Wei Ying. But He can't restrict Wei Ying's wishes. A child needs to learn to make decisions for mental growth. He wants Wei Ying to be self dependent. Of course he'll help him in critical moments.

"What should I do, Wuming?" Wei Ying asked while strolling around the grounds as Lan Zirui went to his class,giving him time to decide. 

 

"Do what your heart wants" 

 

"My heart?"  

 

"Listen to your heart" Lan Wangji  watches Wei Ying place a hand over his chest and close his eyes.

 

"what does it say?" 

 

 Wei Ying concentrates, brows furrowed. 

 

"Thump-Thump, Thump-Thump" 

 

Lan Wangji can't help but laugh. 

 

"That's what it said!" Wei Ying huffs "why are you laughing!" he puffs his flushed  cheeks.

 

Now how should Lan Wangji explain what listening to your heart means.

"Listening to your heart means to listen to your instinct," he says.

 

"instinct?" 

 

"It can mean having no concerns with rules and rites. Not judging what's black or white.To do what you believe is right, having no fear of rule breaking punishment." he hopes it's a good explanation.

Wei Ying kicks a pebble. "Is a name needed? you have no name. But you are here."

 

Lan Wangji tries not to be biased. 

"Wei Ying will be asked who his mama and baba is. People will  know you're Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren's son. But Lan Ying will be a Lan. They will assume your family is from the Lan clan." 

 

Wei Ying whines and groans and kicks another pebble. Spontaneously he starts running towards the nearby pine tree and starts to climb it.Shocked, Lan Wangji tried to stop him but his strength wasn't enough. He holds his back fearing the kid will fall. "Don't help me" Wei Ying shouted and continued climbing up.

 

"Wei Ying" Lan Zhan called him as he  found his friend climbing the tree, he stood near the tree not sure what to do. Wei Ying's determination to climb as high as possible, didn't hear his call. He steadied himself on a branch, inhaling the cold air of Gusu. 

 

"My name is Wei Ying" He shouts with all his might. "Courtesy Wei Wuxian" Lan Wangji can see disciples peeking from windows to look at him. "Son of Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren."  Some disciples were telling him not to shout and to get down. Wei Ying exhales steam from his mouth, His face red due to climbing, shouting and cold air. He at last looks down where Lan Zhan was standing. Realization hits him soon. He jerks and clings to the branch like a monkey.

 

"Wuming I'm scared" he wobbles and cries. 

 

As you should be.

 

"Hold tightly and don't let go," he tells the kid. He has called for enough attention. Surely someone will come for help. 

 

"Wei Ying" Lan Zhan reaches forward, extending his hands. 

 

No you can't catch him, you're too small. 

 

"Don't let-"  Don't let go he wanted to say if it were not for Wei Ying deliberately letting go.

 

Lan Wangji instinctively shuts his eyes. He can't bear to see Wei Ying crash landing on Lan Zhan's head. Those kids will now have a broken tooth or maybe a skull. 

 

He opens his eyes to see Lan Xichen cradling Wei Ying in his arms and Lan Zhan disgracefully lying on the snow.

 

"Don't do that ever again" Lan Xichen howls "Both of you" he huffs and slops on the ground. "If I hadn't come here on time there could have been bloodshed" .He looks at Lan Zhan grumpily sitting beside him. He's unhappy for not being able to catch his falling friend. 

 

"A-Zhan, don't be angry" his brother tries to coo him. Lan Wangji looks at Wei Ying with a disappointed look, he hopes his face looks disappointing enough. Except Wei Ying just giggles and gives him an ' oops' look. 

 

He loves him so much .

Their uncle marches there with some disciples. Reciting the rules, Shouting is forbidden, Do not sit disgracefully, Do not climb trees unreasonably- which was not a rule. 

 

*

 

"Gege, are you angry at me? '' Wei Ying asked Lan Zhan. They were in the dining hall waiting for the food to be served. All the way here Lan Zhan hadn't uttered a single word. Lan Wangji could tell he was still angry at his older brother.

 

"No" The kid answered. 

 

Wei Ying squirmed "I'm sorry you got scolded for me, I won't climb trees or shout" 

 

"Do not speak during mea.l" Lan Zhan took his chopsticks as everyone started eating."I'm not angry at Wei Ying" He started eating as well.

 

Wei Ying looked at the bowls infront of him. "Weird taste" he murmured while eating. The disciple in front of him, a little older than Lan Xichen, shushed him for murmuring. 

 

After the meal Zirui took him to the same hall where the elders were waiting for them. This time Lan Xichen and Lan Zhan were allowed to join. They sat behind their uncle and Wei Ying. However, This time there was an extra person present. Lan Yan,He was the most disappointed elder when Lan Wangji went against them. Lan Wangji shivers at his gaze.

 

"I go out for a day and come home to see a new drama," he says, still looking at Wei Ying. 

 

"Lan Qiren, what is wrong with your family?" He shouts. Lan Qiren doesn't answer.

 

"Your brother one day comes home, marrying the murderess of your master, threatens us not to lay a finger on her! leaves all his duties behind for that wretched woman. And now you! You come home shamelessly with the child of your dead lover" 

 

Lover?

 

The word echoes around Lan Wangji. He looks at his uncle. The man looked angry, pained, broken,guilty. 

 

Could it be-

 

"Do not speak ill of the dead" Lan Qiren said aloud. "Sao zi has passed away miserably, fate had punished her enough. Let her soul rest." he bowed. "As for the child, His ancestor helped our clan a lot, his mother was my friend whom I owe a lot to, I only want to honor their debts." He singhs and continues "Cangse and Changze loved each other deeply, I request you to respect their soul as well" He bowed again.

 

Elder Yan doesn't look convinced.

"Don't regret your choice like your brother did. Do remember, If the child bring any harm to the clan you can't take his side" 

 

"I will." Lan Qiren says sternly. 

 

Elder Yan leaves the hall immediately after that, leaving everyone out of words.

Lan Xichen sighs out of relief. Lan Wangji never knew just how much his brother had to go through at such a young age.

 

Wei Ying was clenching his robes tightly, trying his best to stay still. 

"Wei Ying, don't be scared,I'm here, Everything is fine"

 

"Mn" he nodded. 

Later, One elder opens a scroll announcing the reason for their meeting. He recites the same terms and conditions Zirui had described him and asks both him and Lan Qiren for consent. Wei Ying nods confidently and Lan Qiren verbalizes for them. 

 

"Lastly, Do you want to keep your family name?" he asks Wei Ying.

 

"Yes" He answers without any hesitation. 

 

"Do you have any objection?" he asks Lan Qiren.

 

"No objection." 

 

"I hereby declare Wei Ying, Courtesy Wuxian, late Wei Changze and late Cangse Sanren's Son as Lan Qiren, acting leader of Gusu Lan clan's ward of care. They've agreed to the conditions and promised to obey them." 

 

Lab Wangji's heart soared above the heavens. He was teary eyed. This wasn't supposed to happen. Perhaps what has happened was for the better. His uncle may not be good with kids but Lan Wangji had faith in him. His uncle won't mistreat Wei Ying, not as a child.

 

Though uncle had hesitated while signing his paper he didn't scowl or frown. 

 

Lan Zirui nudged Wei Ying's side when the halls were empty."Now that Wei Wuxian is a part of the clan, you can call me Zirui shibo" 

 

"Zirui shibo," Wei Ying said cheerfully. 

 

"And you can call me Gege or Xichen-ge I'll call you A-Xian, okay?" 

 

Wei Ying beamed with his new nickname. In Lan Wangji's life the only person who called Wei Ying A-Xian was his Shijie. For better or worse fate has changed now. He believes his brother will treat him the same as his shijie did.

"Okay, Xichen gege! Zhan gege" he called and held the boy's hands. Lan Qiren only looked at their exchange from his side.

 

Lan Zirui laughed. "Xichen is actually your shixiong but you can call him gege if he wants. And why are you calling Wangji gege? he's younger than you.You should call him shidi or didi. He's the one who should call you gege" he waved his hands nonchalantly. Lan Wangji remembers now, he had hated the man for talking too much. If his child self hasn't hated him,he'll start hating him now. Lan Zhan already looks like he wants to beat the man in front of him and never look at him ever again.

 

"I'm gege?" Wei Ying exclaimed."Zhan-di! Call me gege" he nudged the younger boy. But Lan Zhan only ignores him and looks away. It makes Lan Xichen and Lan Zirui laugh. 

 

pleasant.

 

The sound of Laughter is pleasant . 

Notes:

Lan Zirui: *watches Lan Zhan holding Wei Ying's hand* Young love, I see.

I don't know how ward declaration works, I made up the whole thing. Please pretend it's fine.

Chapter 5: In the robes of spotless white

Summary:

Wei Ying settles in Cloud recesses easily.

Wei Ying fell asleep before eight. Today has been too tiring for him. Lan Qiren let Wei Ying sleep on his bed. Though he said  after winter he'll get Wei Ying his own room in the disciple dorms.  

 

"May I come in ? '' Lan Zirui asked at the gates. Given permission he sat at the opposite of Lan Qiren's desk. Lan Qiren didn't initiate a conversation and sipped his tea.

 

After a beat of silence Lan Zirui cleared his throat. For the first time that day the man looked tired, saddens in his eyes."I'm sorry for what Elder Yan said." He said, staring at his tea cup, stroking its sides.

"You don't have to apologize for him." Lan Qiren responded in a monotone voice.  

 

Their silence was only disturbed when Wei Ying whimpered in his sleep. They both ran to him. Lan Qiren looked at him helplessly while Lan Zirui gently patted his chest. Lan Wangji too hugged him, whispering  soothing words.

 

"Nightmares, huh?" Lan Zirui sighed. Getting no reply Lan Zirui continued with his trademark smile, His hand was still on Wei Ying's chest "He's still in Wangji's clothes." Lan Qiren sat on the opposite side of the bed "I'll take him to the tailor tomorrow, until then they'll have to share" 

"Wangji is fond of him, he won't mind sharing clothes for the rest of his life" Lan Zirui chuckled fondly. Lan Wangji is surprised how much this man understands him. He hated him for no good reason.

 

Lan Qiren huffed a little irritated "You understand kids more than I do. You're their favorite after all" in response Lan Zirui groaned dramatically "Please let that go already.Besides, favoritism won't do, You're the best teacher afterall. Teaching batch after batch while also taking care of a sect." 

 

Lan Qiren was always proud of his position. Lan Wangji knew his uncle liked his position in the sect. But now, in his quarters, he looked tired of everything. 

"I'm afraid I'm not doing a good job." 

Do not question your strength, Do not question your hard work. Lan Wangji was taught this by the same man who was now questioning his hard work. 

"Handling the sect, handing the students, taking care of my nephews" he sighed and looked at Wei Ying sorrowfully "and now I took in another responsibility in my head." He didn't sound irritated or annoyed or angry. His voice echoed of exhaustion.Lan Wangji felt sympathy towards his uncle. He did have a lot of responsibility on his hands.

"Do you regret taking him as your ward?" looking directly at his eyes Lan Zirui nervously asked. 

"I do not regret taking him in."Lan Qiren answered promptly. "But I hadn't planned to take him in as a ward either." Lan Zirui breathed in "then?" 

 

"I don't know, I thought he could stay here but..." He stops mid sentence."But you don't want him to be  guardianless." Lan Zirui fills the blank space fondly. 

 

"I only wish brother would come back, at least  fulfill his filial duty. It's just as you said, Xichen, as a sect heir, has a lot of load on his shoulder, Wangji too. I'm afraid I'm being too strict with them." He fixes Wei Ying's sleeping posture. He smiled fondly at Wei Ying. "They looked so happy today, with him." 

 "They looked their age." Lan Zirui added.

 

Lan Qiren tucked a strand of Wei Ying's hair behind his ears "He has his mother's eyes" he said. "Changse-jie's  death was truly unexpected" Lan Zirui heaves a sigh. His eyes were shimmed with tears. Just what was their relation with Wei Ying's mother. Lan Wangji believes his mother was as friendly as Wei Ying. Were they friends? 

 

Lan Qiren huffed saying "Unexpected is her middle name afterall" Lan Zirui snorts at Lan Qiren's remark. "She'll get you for this in heaven." he points a finger at him.

 

Lan Qiren frowned a faux one "Why are you still here, go to your house. It's going to be nine soon." Lan Zirui huffs,getting on his feet. Mumbling something under his breath.

 

As soon as Lan Qiren was left alone in his room, his facial muscle slacked down. He looked more tired than before. He kept staring at Wei Ying as if, as if he wasn't real. Lan Qiren gaped at Wei Ying's stillness, slowly he checked his breath and his plus. Was he being frantic? Was he afraid that Wei Ying won't make it tomorrow? Lan Wangji won't blame his uncle for his apprehensive feat. He has been there. With A-Yuan laying beside him.

 

Lan Wangji couldn't help himself when he saw his uncle making his bed on the floor.There was enough space for three grown ups on his bed. He still chose to sleep separately. Well, his uncle was mainly the one who didn't like physical touch with anybody. Lan Wangji learnt it from him. Though he believes Wei Ying will get his uncle out of his shell.

 

Wait a little longer, Shufu.

 

*

 

Wei Ying cried when Lan Qiren woke him up at five in the morning. No matter how much he begged, uncle wouldn't let him sleep in.Wei Ying wasn't used to waking up so early. His sleepy eyes won't open even when uncle makes him sit up. 

 

"Go wash your face," Lan Qiren  said while fixing the bed sheets. Wei Ying, still deep asleep, didn't hear him. Lan Qiren had to drag the kid to the basin and washed his face awkwardly. This reminds Lan Wangji of his days with A-Yuan. He was as awkward as his uncle but A-Yuan was an obedient kid, Unlike little Wei Ying here. 

 

"Wear your robes, fix your hair and eat your breakfast" Lan Qiren went back to fixing the bed.

 

Too many orders at once.

 

Wei Ying scratched his head, still sleepy. He donned his robes wrong. Wanting to know what his uncle does, Lan Wangji doesn't help him. 

 

To his surprise,Lan Qiren rolls his eyes and helps Wei Ying fix his robes. He gives him a comb telling how he has to learn to be proper while also reciting the rules. 

 

"Where is my ribbon?" Wei Ying looks left and right. Lan Qiren had united his ribbon when he fell asleep last night.He handed him his red worned out ribbon from his sleeve. He watches Wei Ying tie his hair in a clumsy ponytail just like Lan Wangji had taught him.

"It's dirty, improper. Doesn't match our white robes" Lan Qiren says.

 

"Mama gave it to A-Ying" Wei Ying proudly  shows his work to Lan Qiren. Lan Qiren sits beside him, takes the comb from his hand. "Your mother used to wear white, why did she give you a red ribbon?" He unties Wei Ying's loose knot and combs his hair properly.

 

"Mama said red is a pretty and happy color just like A-Ying." 

 

So the ribbon was a token from his mother.

 

Lan Qiren huffs and tells him to sit and Wei Ying sits in a lotus position."Sit like me, your back should be straight and heels must touch your butt." He says.

Wei Ying snorts "Shufu said butt" and falls into laughter. Lan Wangji also giggles at his remark. Lan Qiren clears his throat, demonstrating  Wei Ying to sit facing his back pretending to be angry. Lan Wangji had already noticed the pink on his cheeks. 

 

He combs the child's long hair, untangles all the knots and ties his hair in a high ponytail with his ribbon. "I'll buy you a new ribbon, if you wear it more it'll tear"

Wei Ying opens his mouth wanting to say something but doesn't."You can keep this ribbon safe this way" Lan Qiren adds, Wei Ying agrees with a nod.

 

Later Lan Zhan arrives with his brother for morning meditation and breakfast. Lan Qiren was surprised when Wei Ying said he had known how to meditate. 

"Baba taught me how, so I can be strong like mama." 

Unlike the Lan Brothers, Wei Ying was impatient. He squirmed and moved. Asked if they were done yet. Repeatedly opened his eyes and shut them when their uncle scolded him. Lan Wangji watches them from the window, feeling the morning sun. Sky was clear that day.

 

*

 

"Consummation of meat is forbidden" Lan Zhan told his uncle as he noticed the meat in Wei Ying's bowl. He had to tell Lan Zhan that Wei Ying lacked nutritions so the rule can be considered. Wei Ying didn't particularly enjoy his breakfast. The meat was only boiled with no seasonings. Side dishes were also boiled salted vegetables. But he didn't complain either. Afterall boiled food was better than no food at all. Surprisingly other than wanting water he didn't talk during the meal.

 

Wei Ying is good at adapting to new environments. 

 

Later Lan Qiren took him and his little nephew to the Lan tailor. Lan Wangji rested on Wei Ying's head while the children held each other's hand.On the way he also bought Wei Ying a new red ribbon made of fine silk.

 

"Lan Zhan isn't it pretty" he showed it to the other boy.

 

"Mn.Pretty" 

 

"Shufu tie it for me" But Lan Qiren was busy talking with the tailor so he didn't notice.

Wei Ying asked his friend to do it for him. Lan Zhan tried to do his best with Wei Ying talking and moving. It was loose but Wei Ying was happy with his work. He thanked him, smiling brightly. Lan Zhan looked proud of his work too. 

 

To add more to his misery Lan Qiren re-tied his ponytail tightly. Lan Zhan, the poor boy, was in immense agony and anger. He didn't talk to his uncle for the rest of their journey. He also refused to hold his uncle's hand. The kids held hands while Lan Qiren led the way.

 

*

 

Back in Cloud recesses sect leader Jiang was waiting for them. 

"Wangji go to your class,it's time" Lan Qiren took Wei Ying's hand. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan didn't want to separate. Still, with a sad face Lan Zhan bowed and went to his class. Wei Ying bid him goodbye saying they'll meet again. 

 

You'll meet again.

In the sect leader's office they meet sect leader Jiang. The adults bowed and greeted each other. Sect leader Jiang put on his diplomatic smile saying."I apologize for how we treated you that day" 

Lan Qiren poured him tea "No need." 

"Also, I thank you for taking A-Ying as your ward" Lan Qiren widened his eyes as the sect leader kowtowed to him."Please raise your head, I am only doing my duty as a friend" Lan Qiren coughed. 

Jiang Fengmian patted Wei Ying's head.  Creased his cheeks with fondness. "You never regarded Cangse as your friend before." 

 

Lan Qiren cleared his throat again. "She'll  get in over my head if I did." 

 

Jiang Fengmian chuckled as if he knew that's exactly what she'd do. He gazed at Wei Ying as he gazed back with his big bright eyes. "Please don't feel insulted," he hesitantly continued his sentence "I'd like to help you with Wei Ying's financial responsibility. His father had served my sect his whole life, it's the least I could do."

 

Lan Qiren made Wei Ying sit properly and gave him a cup of tea as well. "That won't be necessary. I can take care of my ward. And Besides" He stared at Jiang Fengmian with accusing eyes. "I believe Wei Changze broke all ties with the Jiang sect before eloping." 

"He did." Jiang Fengmian answered, shutting his eyes. He couldn't look at Lan Qiren's eyes anymore.  

"Then he or his offspring owes nothing to the sect. You don't have to burden yourself with the guilt of a lost friend." He sipped his tea. "Your wife might object to this as well." He added, a reminder.

 

Jiang Fengmian anxiously rubbed his hands. An act not matching his title. Calming himself he breathed out."I don't understand why my wife thinks I had feelings for Cangse when…" He pinched the bridge of his nose to relax his built up tension."When you had feelings for Changze." Lan Qiren finished his sentence for him.

 

Oh. Complicated. 

 

"I couldn't express my feelings and he wouldn never dare to think of me that way." Jiang Fengmian murmured. Soon he put up his diplomatic look saying "I'm sorry I'm talking about myself when I was here for A-Ying" He waved his hands vaguely. Lan Qiren huffed. "I hope in future A-Ying can be good friends with A-Cheng and A-Li" He patted Wei Ying's head again. Wei Ying looked at him confused. 

 

"Shufu can i?" He asked.

 

"If you wish," Lan Qiren said.

 

Wei Ying smiled and nodded. "A-Ying will be friends with A-Cheng and A-Li." 

 

"He calls you Shufu?" amused Jiang Fengmian asked. "He just copies my nephews, I don't mind" 

"Hey Wuming, who is A-Cheng and A-Li" He whispered when the adults weren't paying attention to him.

 

"The two kids you met in lotus pier. A-Li made you soup" 

 

"Oooh, A-Cheng is Jiang Cheng and A-Li is Lady Jiang" 

 

"Mn" 

*

 

As Wei Ying's guardian it was Lan Qiren's duty to educate Wei Ying. Since he was a busy sect leader and a teacher he assigned one of his disciples to teach Wei Ying. 

 

"Why can't I join classes with Lan Zhan?" He had asked Lan Qiren.

 

He had to tell the kid how far he had fallen behind. He could barely recognize the characters let alone write them neatly. 

"Why weren't your parents serious about your education?" Lan Qiren grieved.

The disciple, Lan Yunshi, told him he could join the classes with other kids if he paid attention.  "The sooner you learn, the sooner you can be with Wangji."

 

Good tactic. Lan Wangji thought. 

 

It worked on Wei Ying. He did as his senior told. Within a week  he memorized which character was which, how and when to use them, how to write them without messing the ink.Though his handwriting improved slowly he was a fast learner.

In the meantime his wardrobe came. That night Lan Qiren showed him his three sets of robes. two pairs of sleepwear, a winter cloak and two pairs of socks and shoes. His own stone blue jade with a baby blue shaded tassel.  Wei Ying was delighted to the extent that he wanted to show his new clothes to everyone at that moment. Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji had to stop him from disturbing others.

 

Lastly he showed him his forehead ribbon. It was plain white, without the drifting cloud motif like the main family members had.

"It's not pretty like yours and Lan Zhan," Wei Ying pouted.

"Why does everything have to be pretty?" Lan Qiren exasperatedly said.

"Pretty things are pretty." Wei Ying stated this as a fact. "Why can't I have one with the pretty clouds?" he asked. 

Lan Qiren told him why. He also told him the importance of the forehead ribbon. Recited rules relating to the ribbon.

 

       Wear the headband to discipline yourself. The headband is not to be used for any other purpose. Do not touch other's headbands without permission. Only family members can touch the headband and such. 

 

Wei Ying was too busy wearing his new clothes.He had enough practice to wear his robe on his own. He gave the ribbon to his uncle and asked him to tie it for him. 

Lan Qiren's hand hovered in the air, he cleared his throat and said, "You shouldn't let anyone touch your headband like that, it's scared and only members can touch it." 

 

"Aren't you family, shufu?" Wei Ying nonchalantly asked. 

 

In Lan Wangji's life his uncle would vomit blood before considering him his student, much less family. 

 

Lan Wangji noticed his uncle's glassy eyes. Doubtful, he took the headband with shaky hands and tied it around Wei Ying's forehead. 

"Just because I'm your guardian. Don't let anyone other than your fated person touch it" He said. 

"Fated person?" 

"yes" he didn't describe and finished tying the ribbon.

 

Wei Ying happily showed it to Lan Qiren and then to Lan Wangji. He looked at himself in the mirror. Overjoyed with his new look. He wanted to show himself to his Lan Zhan, Xiongzhang, shibo and others. 

 

Lan Wangji wanted to cry to the heavens. His happiness filled him with joy he couldn't contain. 

 

"Enough now, wear your night dress and go to bed" 

It wasn't nine yet, kids in Cloud recesses are told to sleep earlier. 

"Will you sleep with me?" he asked. 

The day after arriving Wei Ying noticed he slept alone with Lan Wangji coiled beside him. He had gone to his uncle's bedding and slept beside him. When Uncle found him sleeping beside him he made a startled sound that Lan Wangji is never going to forget. Even though uncle was angry at first, Wei Ying was just as stubborn. He'd put Wei Ying back on his bed and Wei Ying would crawl back on the floor. After a week of meaningless fighting Lan Qiren gave up and slept on his bed with Wei Ying beside him. However he huddled a blanket in the middle of them as Wei Ying moved a lot in his sleep.

 

"Wangji sleeps on his own all alone, he doesn't get scared, so why are you scared" 

Wei Ying doesn't answer. He puffs his cheeks and pouts.

"All right go,I'll sleep with you." Lan Qiren sighs. He goes back to his paper work as Wei Ying makes himself comfortable in bed.

 

"Wei Ying, are you happy?" Lan Wangji asks.

Wei Ying humms like him, it wasn't the enthusiastic energetic one so Lan Wangji looked at him concerned.

"I wish I could show mama and baba my new clothes" He said. Lan Wangji regrets asking. A drop of tear escaped his left eye. He was trying very hard to push back his tears.

 

"They are watching over you, from heaven." Lan Qiren said from his study room. He had heard what Wei Ying said. 

Lan Wangji wiped the tear from his cheek. He ran his hand through his hair silently. 

"From heaven? But baba said, when someone dies they become stars in the sky, Aren't they stars now?" 

"Same thing" Lan Qiren answered. 

"So you knew your parents were dead?" Lan Wangji asks him.Wei Ying nods and tucks the blanket over his head.

Still uncomfortable to show your tears.

 

Lan Wangji hopes Wei Ying trusts him enough to show that side of him. 

Notes:

Lan Zirui: I know no one asked, Still, WANGJI IS IN LOVE WITH WEI WUXIAN.

*

Lan Qiren: Wei Wuxian is sick, he can eat meat for a while.
Lan Zhan: Wei Ying can eat meat, noted.

*

Jiang Fengmian: I wish I could tell my wife I loved a man.
Lan Qiren: Please pine somewhere else

*

Anyways hope you liked this chapter.

Chapter 6: Lonely we have been

Wei Ying diligently showed his new goods to everyone in Cloud recesses he knew. He showed all of his items  to Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen. Though Lan Zhan looked sad that they won't have to share clothes anymore he nodded and 'mn'ed excitedly. 

 

Lan Qiren suggested that he could join Lan Zirui's class with Lan Zhan as he was improving fast. Wei Ying sequeled at the given opportunity. Him and Lan Zhan arrived at Yashi holding hands. Eight other Lan children present there stared at the scene. Some even gaped at Wei Ying for holding Lan Zhan's hand. Lan Zirui welcomed Wei Ying, introduced him to the class, and let him sit beside Lan Zhan's seat. Lan Wangji rested on his shoulder incase Wei Ying gets scared he can whisper words of encouragement.  

Sadly, he didn't have to. He was a little disappointed at his courage. In his life, he anticipated A-Yuan to cry in his new class and look for him, but the kid didn't. Later he thought his grandchildren's will, at least A-Chun would but they also didn't. They were all brave and friendly.

He was both proud and disappointed. 

 

Lan Zirui asked Wei Wuxian if he could write his name and show it to the class. Wei Ying quickly did and held up his paper to show his work. Lan Zirui had to calm the class as the childrens burst into laughter.

"What?" Wei Ying asked.

Lan Zirui made Wei Ying sit down."You made a spelling mistake, that's all, Everyone makes mistakes. Class, what was the rule about not making fun of others, did we forget?" Lan Zirui sighs and recites the rules. Wei Ying tugged at Lan Zhan's sleeve for help. Lan Zhan fidgets before taking his note to write."You wrote Wu Tain, which means no shame, You should write Wu Xian, it means no envy"  He points out the characters where Wei Ying had made mistakes.

"Wangji, don't talk in class," Lan Zirui said. A momentary silence fell upon the class. "Never thought I'd say this" he added with disbelief.  

As days went by his classmates got closer with him. He made friends with everyone in class. They laugh together, they play together, pranks their teacher to which their teacher doesn't mind. Time to time Lan Zhan reminds them not to break rules. But Wei Ying drags him to his mischievous  plans.Most pranks were harmless and not as tricky as the teen Lan Wangji once faced. 

*

 

Spring arrived at Cloud recesses rather late. Snow has melted but the coldness of winter stays for a month. Slowly green sprouts grew, flowers started blooming, birds sang, kids laughter filled the playgrounds. 

 

Life was going good. At least that's what Lan Wangji thought. 

 

"Wangji won't join us today" Lan Qiren said during their morning meditation.Lan Xichen was there, so why not his little brother. He also didn't join them for breakfast, he didn't come to take Wei Ying  to class, everyone stared in disbelief as  Wei Ying went to the class alone for the first time. 

 

Wei Ying didn't question the sudden change. He followed his daily routine except he didn't join his friends to play. Instead he looked for Lan Zhan in the class, in the huge library, in the infirmary,his big private quarter only to find it empty. He searched for everywhere he was familiar with.

In the middle of the back compound,  his shoulders started shaking. He curled up to his knees hiding his face under his hand and between his knees. 

"Wuming! he's not dead right" he started sobbing. 

 

Why would you come to that conclusion? 

 

"No, Wei Ying, look at me, he's not dead, he might be sick." Lan Wangji soothed his back. Wei Ying wouldn't budge, he continued sobbing. Wei Ying may have grown a fear of losing people he loves. That explains why he's always sticking with Lan Zhan. 

 

"A-Xian" A calm voice called him from his back before Lan Wangji could calm him.Lan Xichen sat beside him patting his head."Why is A-Xian crying?" he asked gently. 

Wei Ying quickly wiped his tears "I'm not crying, Xiongzhang." but the redness in his eyes said otherwise. 

"Lying is forbidden" Lan Xichen recites."I know you're crying because of  A-Zhan" He wiped Wei Ying's tears and snots with his handkerchief. 

"He's not dead right" he stood up holding the older boy's shoulder for balance. 

"No! why would you think that!" he exclaimed with an unfitting frown "He's okay, I'll take him to you, but you can't bother him,okay?" Wei Ying nodded "okay"

 

On the way, Lan Xichen explained they were going to the gentian house.

 

Oh, it's that day again. 

 

Lan Xichen told him about their mother and her death.That they always met their mother that day every month. And how, even after her death, Lan Zhan would still go there, kneel in front of the gate. Lan Wangji knew his mother was no longer alive the moment their uncle told them they can't visit her anymore. He knew mother was sick, on their monthly visits she'd give hints of her departures, she would tell him to be brave, to take care of his family, to do what he enjoyed. Lan Wangji knew their mother passed away yet his young heart couldn't accept the truth. He was in denial for a long time. They said the goods live long, so why was his mother not spared. He had wanted uncle to be wrong. He had hoped mother would one day open the door and take him in her arms with her warm teasing smile. But the door never opened, mother never embraced him again. After a year he'd given up the idea of being embraced by warmth and let himself submerged in the coldness of everlasting winter.

 

"The door is not locked, can't he go in by himself" 

Lan Xichen sighs, his smiles strained. They were a little further from the gentian house, where they could see Lan Zhan's small figure, kneeling before the front porch. "Maybe it's because he wants someone to open the door for him." He looks at his little brother, completely still."But none is in there to open the door," Lan Xichen whispered. "I have to go to my martial arts class, don't bother him today, okay?" Lan Xichen said once again and waved him goodbye. 

 

"Wuming what do i do." 

"Listen to Xiongzhang, don't bother him" Lan Wangji remembers how much his mother's death pained him. He hated whenever Uncle or brother would come to fetch him. He disliked being bothered in his solitude grieving. Uncle had once said the pain will subside with time. 

How wrong he was. His pain only grew with time. Although at one point he got used to the pain, the pain of loss never left him. 

Pain became an overstayed guest in his life. Lan Wangji had no other choice but to welcome it. 

 

Wei Ying jumped on his heels, unable to align his thoughts with his body "I have to open the door! Xiongzhang said he's waiting for someone to open the door for him!" 

"That's not what he meant" 

 

Wei Ying, always hasty with his plans, sneaked to the backdoor of the gentian house. He pushed the locked door and windows. 

"They are locked" 

"Of course they're locked" 

Lan Wangji thought Wei Ying would give up now that there's no way to enter the house. 

 

Except for the fact that he was wrong.

 

How could he forget, Wei Ying wasn't the type to give up so easily. If a problem arrived he'd move heaven and earth to solve that problem. He started climbing the pine tree near the house. He climbed to the top branch trying to reach the roof. 

Getting frantic Lan Wangji asked, "Wei Ying, what are you doing?" 

"Listening to my heart" Wei Ying answers.

At any other time Lan Wangji would be proud but not now. "Listen to me, don't do this, you'll get hurt" Lan Wangji tried to stop him by pulling his collar. He wanted to curse his noodle body with no strength. At one point Wei Ying jumped from the branch landing on the roof. 

"What is your plan?" Giving up tugging Lan Wangji asked. 

Wei Ying gave him no answer but smirked. He smirked. 

This kid- 

 

He removed the roof tile one by one. 

"When did you learn this?" Lan Wangji asked only to be ignored again. "Wei Ying, how do you plan to land there, it's too high, you'll break your bones." His mother's cottage was built in a narrow time. There was no attic, which gives them direct access in the main compartment. 

As soon as Lan Wangji said those words he heard a muffled 'ophmmff' sound beneath him. Turns out Wei Ying jumped inside the newly made hole without any warning or precaution. 

He made a hole in his mothers house roof and jumped inside. Lan Wangji should be angry, he should scold the boy. But he can't, there's no anger in him for Wei Ying.  It's not an unfamiliar feeling.  Luckily Wei Ying didn't fall on the wooden floor but the soft bed of Lan Wangji's mother. 

"Wei Ying, are you alright?" 

 

Wei Ying fell flat on his stomach. He sat up  with a groaning. Lan Wangji noticed his chin was bright red and swollen. The kid blinked back his tears and replied with a smile, "I'm fine, where's the door?" He looked left and right.The house was dark with the newly made hole being the only source of light. Dust glittered around the sunrays, giving the place a mystic look.

"To your left, That's the front door" Lan Wangji guided him in the dark. He knows the house structure by heart, he didn't need light for this. 

Wei Ying unlocked the slide door, he slid open the door shouting "Surprise!" loudly. 

To Wei Ying's satisfaction, his friend did look surprised. Lan Zhan stared at them wide eyed. Slowly big drops of tears rolled down as he clenched his robes tightly. 

 

Wei Ying hurried to his crying friend. He wiped Lan Zhan's tears with his sleeves but Lan Zhan's tears won't stop flowing.

"No, I'm sorry,Lan Zhan, please don't cry" Saying so, he started crying himself. 

Lan Wangji let the two cry. It's not like he can stop them even if he tried. 

Lan Wangji knows the crying won't stop soon. He never knew how to properly show his emotions. He didn't know how to deal with his overbearing feelings. All he knew was how to hide them behind the wall of coldness, in the name of self desiplne. Once the wall breaks, emotions won't stop pouring. It'll pour until he's drowned in by his own emotions, until there is nothing left to pour. 

 

The two kids cried and cried. One silently and one loudly. Wei Ying's cries might have caught attention as their brother marched to them with another disciple. 

"What happened to you two!" He helplessly looks at his surroundings. 

"A-Xian, you're hurt!" adds. Hearing Wei Ying being hurt brought Lan Zhan back to reality. He wiped his face, sniffed and tugged Wei Ying's hand. "To infirmary." 

With swollen red eyes, tear and snot mixed face Wei Ying let himself be guided. Lan Xichen took them to infirmary. The physician scolded Wei Ying for not being careful when he said he fell. He didn't describe how or from where he had fallen.

 

After proper care they're back to the gentian house. They stood silently before the stairs. Lan Xichen had gone back to his class. The door in front of them was wide open. 

"Don't you want to go in?" Wei Ying asked softly.

"Mn, want to." 

"Then, let's go" Wei Ying held his hand and guided him to the stairs. Lan Zhan's nervousness was clear to Wei Ying. He took off Lan Zhan's shoes, then put them neatly on the threshold. Taking off his own shoes they held hands again, entering the house together. 

"Sit here" Wei Ying gave Lan Zhan a mat he had just found. He hosts Lan Zhan as if it's his own house and Lan Zhan was the  guest.He opened the windows for air and light as Lan Zhan scrutinized the room silently. He examined the curtain and  beds, the table and the mats. Everything was on its place just as before. Except the person who belonged there.

 

After Wei Ying thinks he's done enough work opening all the windows and gates he sits beside Lan Zhan. 

"It's so pretty here" he muses. Lan Zhan humm in acknowledgment. The places Wei Ying had been before were Lan Qiren's quarters, Lan Xichen's quarters and Lan Zhan's quarters.  Sure enough Lan Qiren didn't decorate his quarter with paintings and show pieces. As for  the Lan brothers, they didn't have enough access to decoration knowledge.

Their mother, though limited access, decorated her house with beautiful paintings and aesthetically embroidered curtains and quilts. Her choice of color was bright and artistic. 

 

They sat there in peaceful quietness until Lan Zhan's  sense of fastidiousness woke up."Dusty" he said, wrinkling his brows. 

The place was Dusty, but not unclean. Only a person with a keen sense of cleanliness would notice the dust. Surely  Lan Zhan was one of them. Quick to his words Lan Zhan fished out a cloth from the cabinet near the desk and set himself to work. 

"You're going to clean now?" Wei Ying rolled on the mat and whined. Lan Zhan hummed and ignored his whining. 

"You should help him too," Lan Wangji says to Wei Ying. "But I cleaned Shufu's big desk today, I want to play." Wei Ying whined more. 

Lan disciples had duties to clean their classes, dorms, halls and rooms. Lan Qiren taught them that cleaning duties are part of growing, to become self dependent. Wei Ying  was surprised when Lan Zhan said he cleans his big house all by himself. It wasn't a big deal to the Lans.

Wei Ying humped and joined Lan Zhan with his cleaning. Soon Wei Ying found it fun to clean along with his friend. They decided  the place would be their new picnic spot and promised to meet here every month that day. 

 

Lan Zhan placed a bouquet of gentian flowers in a vase as Wei Ying was skimming through a book he found under the bed. It contained doodles and painting more than writings. Lan Wangji looked at the pages with a fluttering heart. He never dared to touch anything his mother left behind. He was too scared to remove her touch from them. It was foolish, he knows, yet. 

 

Wei Ying looked at the doodles intently. "Look, Lan Zhan! it's you" he showed one of the page. It was a poorly drawn doodle of three human figures. The woman Lan Wangji could tell was their mother. The one with an abnormally big smile was his brother. And the one with huge puffy cheeks with a frown was him, Lan Zhan. 

Lan Zhan looked at the doodle and puffed his cheeks exactly as it was drawn. Wei Ying laughed and pinched them just like his mother used to. Lan Zhan took the book in his hands and went through the pages. Some pages had random words written on them. A code message, if given enough time Lan Wangji could break the code. But he had already lost his chance. It was not his place to do so.

The last two pages had a poem. Lan Zhan read them out to Wei Ying. 

 

Green, green,

The mountains by the stream.

Blue,blue

Gentian flowers in the garden.

Sad,sad,

The lady in the cottage.

Laying behind the closed door.

 

Fair,fair,

His jade white face

Small,Small 

He puffs out his red cheeks.

Golden, golden

He opened his eyes crying to me.

But, when he had come 

he would not stay long.

 

Sob,Sob

The tears fall down, wets her robes.

Depressed, depressed,

The lady in the shallow lights.

Grasping a shadow, 

She dwells in an empty house.

She once hoped to pluck the fruits of life

But alas,

They're all withered and dried.

 

Distant, distant,

She gaze at the white clouds

Her clothes hang loose 'round her waist 

Float, float

clouds obscure the sun,

Alone, alone,

It is hard alone to keep an empty bed.

Mother had written about her life. Her hopes and ambitions, her gain and losses, her lonely days, lonely nights. Lan Wangji knew her life was miserable. Yet hearing her misery felt like hundreds of swords stabbed slowly into heart.The kids are  too young to understand the meaning behind the lines, or so he hopes. 

"Is this a nursery rhyme?" Wei Ying asked.

Lan Zhan flips the page, reads the next poem.

I regret not the stain in my hand

Regret how you cleaned it for me,

I try not to remember 

But forgetting is hard.

I want to put you out of my mind

 and forget forever.

I don't want to remember how once

We went hand in hand.

I want to go back home,

but there's no path left but one,

Please do not follow me.

 

Her life with his father, did she really love that man? Did his father truly love her? Did she take her own life? Why would she phrase it like that? Is she happy now? Is she free?

Lan Wangji wants to cry,to howl, to shout. He wanted the whole cultivation world to know how much pain his mother had to go through.

 

Oh mother, how lonely you have been. 

 

Wei Ying took Lan Wangji in his palm and softly asked,"Wuming are you okay, you're shaking" Even when Lan Zhan couldn't see him, he gazed at Wei Ying's palm with worry.

Lan Wangji tried to steady  himself breathing in and out. "I'm fine, was touched by the poems" he says in his usual tone.

 

"What are you two doing?" a stern voice came from the front porch. Their uncle entered the house with a dark face. 

"We're here to visit Lan Zhan's mother." Wei Ying said solemnly. Lan Qiren's face got even darker. He looked at his nephew holding a book and asked, "What's that, let me see." Lan Zhan obediently gave the book to his uncle. He opened the book, flipped the pages one by one.

Lan Wangji  knew his uncle hadn't liked his sister-in-law. When Lan Wangji was a child He saw his uncle sneering once when someone had mentioned her name. That moment broke Lan Wangji's heart, no matter what he couldn't forgive his uncle for his act. Not because he broke a rule, but because it was an insult to his late mother.

However, as his uncle reached the last page, his face got softer. He closed the book and sighed.He looked tired, his eyes looked heavy. "It's time for lunch, go to the dining hall." he ordered the kids. He didn't put the book back.

 

"Wuming did we do something wrong." 

Why do you always ask that?

"Wei Ying did nothing wrong nor did Lan Zhan." 

Mother would say the same.

Notes:

The poem here is mainly inspired by the Nineteen old poems. It's a mixture of many poems I had read and head canons of lwj's parents. Hope my poerty isn't that bad. if it is then it's not me who wrote the poem, it's madam Lan. bye.

Hope you liked this chapter.

Chapter 7: If you love them, tell them

Summary:

Lan family feels applies here strongly

Notes:

New Chapter Update because it's CQL' s third anniversary =D

As the  weather got warmer, Wei Ying was given his own room in the disciple quarters. Wei Ying at first had thought Lan Qiren was abandoning him out of hatred, that he had annoyed his uncle. Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji had to coax and cajole him into believing that he was now a big boy, he could get his own room.

 

Wei Ying's room was on the upper floor of the two storied building, with the inner disciples. It was spacious considering it being a disciple room. There was a big bed with a perfume sachets hung on each bed frame, a low study table in the middle, a bookshelf beside the window with a small wardrobe beside it. There was a medium sized mirror with silver lining on top of his wardrobe. 

Wei Ying gaped with astonishment. He tinkered with everything in the room, squealed and squawked. Showed Lan Zhan this and that.

 

His seniors gathered at his door to look at their new resident. "He's  the lucky guy?" one disciple, a few years older than them, asked Lan Xichen at the door. 

"Lucky guy?" Lan Xichen asked.

"Master Qiren's ward, everyone here calls him 'lucky guy'." Lan Xichen Chuckled, "A-Xian, introduce yourself to your shixiongs'' Wei Ying ran to them and bowed just as perfectly as Lan Zhan did.

"This one is named Wei Ying, courtesy Wuxian." Everyone present there, awed and giggled. They introduced themself one by one. All of them were older than Wei Ying making him the youngest disciple there.

 

"How about we call you 'Xian-shidi', how does that sound?" the disciple named Li yong asked.

"shidi?" Wei Ying asked 

"Yes," he answered, "you're the baby disciple here, our xiao shidi" he added.

The disciples looked too happy to have a younger disciple among them. They all agreed and cooed 'Xian-shidi' or 'shidi'.

 

"Do not make noise" one firm voice came from the hall. The owner of the voice, a young teen, came forward.

 

"Yunshi-ge" Wei Ying waved at him. Lan Yunshi, the disciple who taught Wei Ying to read and write for two weeks. 

"There's a new member, I see," he said.

"Why  make a commotion?" he said coldly to other disciples. Being scared they bowed and apologized to their senior and went back to whatever they were doing. 

 

"Tang-xiong, A-xian will be staying here from now on" Lan Xichen bowed , "please take care of him," he added. 

"I know, Qiren jifu told me"  He replied to the younger one.

" Jifu?" Wei Ying dumbfounded, asked. 

"Lan Qiren and my father are cousins, so he's my uncle, Jifu. "  he told Wei Ying.

 

Oh.

 

Lan Wangji didn't have any close relationship with his cousins. Thus, he forgot their names and faces. He blames his old age. Though something about his eyes feels familiar to him.

 

"As the one in charge, I'll teach him his duties and other regulations." he bowed to Lan Xichen as he left with his brother. 

Truthfully, he showed Wei Ying the life a Lan disciple leads. Waking up as the gong rings, meditating, studying, practicing martial art sword forms, sweeping and wiping the halls, washing their own clothes and all.

He also warns him not to break any rules as he'll be getting punished from then on.

 

"When shall I play?" Wei Ying rolled on his new bed. His whining hurted Lan Wangji. 

True, when do the kids enjoy themselves? When he was a child, he didn't care about playing, well, because he had no one to play with. Also he was busy worrying about his elders, what if he makes a mistake and they don't let him meet his mother as a punishment.  He used to study or practice his guqin in his free time.

Was bringing him to Cloud recesses a mistake. Here he might not be abused but he can't even enjoy.

"Do you not like it here?" he asked.

"I do" Wei Ying whined "but I want to play with Lan Zhan" he adds.

"You can play after finishing your duties" 

*

 

Lan Wangji had worried for nothing. This was Wei Ying he was talking about. Wei Ying can even make carrying dung in the Wens interrogation  a fun game,such chores were barely a challenge.

 

Cleaning duties, sweeping and wiping the floor with other disciples became a fun competition, whoever cleans their side first becomes the winner. They'd also enjoy how fast it made their work done. 

As for martial art practice, Wei Ying had a natural master hand. Their master had to only demonstrate once or twice and Wei Ying could do better than the kids who were practicing for months. Soon, he and Lan Zhan were at the same stage. 

 

The two could be seen everywhere together. From morning class to dinner they wouldn't leave each other's side. Only parting ways at night to sleep in their own places. Or when Wei Ying was getting his punishment. 

 

That was inevitable. 

 

Wei Ying was loud, unsteady, rash and everything the Lan clan was not known for. 

He's often being punished by Lan Yunshi, current head disciple, for being loud, running, for being picky with food, being too proud of his results,showing off his skills, not wearing essential three layers of clothes and such. 

His punishment wasn't harsh for a young disciple. He'd have to copy the rules only. But not as many times as his teen self once did in a month altogether. 

Even during his punishment Lan Zhan sometimes would sit in a corner saying he's just studying there when Lan Wangji knows he's lonely without Wei Ying.

By the time he memorized more than two thousand rules by heart.Though he didn't care much about them. 

 

Spring passed by, Wei Ying was enjoying his days in Cloud recesses. 

*

 

One summer afternoon,

 

After finishing his duties, studies and practices, He was playing hide and seek with other Lan children. They'd often play hide and seek. It made Wei Ying find corners that Lan Wangji never knew existed. Today, he found an old cottage in a distant corner. 

 

That- 

 

"Don't hide here" Lan Wangji suggested. Because the cottage belonged to his father.The father he rarely met in his life. He doesn't want to meet him now either. He won't say he hated his father. Still, he didn't particularly like him as well. 

"Why, But," fearing he'll be found out, which never happened, he didn't listen to him and went inside the cottage through the open window.  The cottage was small, didn't have any furniture other than bookshelves and a low table. Despite having a dweller, It was dark inside. Wei Ying moved to a corner to have a view of the outside without getting caught. 

 

"May I ask who you are." a voice as gentle as his brother inquired from the dark corner. Lan Wangji felt nostalgic. He never heard his father's voice, so why?

Wei Ying looked for the owner of the voice. 

"I- I'm sorry, I thought it was empty here." he squinted to get a better look. 

With a flick of hand the man lit three candles. 

 

unnecessary.

 

It was still day time, the sun hadn't even started to set yet. He could open the windows instead of wasting candles. 

Lan Wangji looked at his father, young but youth didn't shine in his body. He was skinny, almost skeletal, his robes were loose, he had hollowed cheeks and his eyes looked so,so tired. Regardless, he looks a hundredfold better than the last time Lan Wangji saw him, which was in his deathbed.

 

"Who are you hiding from?" he asked softly. 

"From Lan Zhan." 

The man frowned. "Is he bullying you?" 

"We're playing hide and seek, he's seeking" Eccentric, Wei Ying replied. 

"He made friends, I see" His tense shoulder loosen up a bit. 

"Can I hide here?" 

"....sure." He got back to his meditation. Slowly breathing in and breathing out.

 

Wei Ying crawled closer to him. He was never the one to stay quiet or care for personal space be it with friends or with a complete stranger. 

"What are you doing? Do you live here alone?" 

The man in question didn't open his eyes, only breathed out loudly after a long pause "I'm also hiding." 

Wei Ying giggled. "You're so big but you play, shufu doesn't play, who are you playing with? I'll watch and tell you if they come." He peeked at the window again.

The man, Lan Qingheng, huffed with a hint of amusement.  

"You can say, I'm hiding from the world." 

Wei Ying gasped, "So many people! I can't watch out." 

The man huffed again. "Young master, is your name Wei Wuxian?" 

Wei Ying sat closer to him, he might as well crawl in his lap. "Mn, you know me? I don't know you, I didn't see you before, are you also new like me?" 

Lan Qingheng opened his eyes. He looked a little uncomfortable by Wei Ying's closeness but didn't shove him away. "Qiren told me about you. I'm his elder brother."

"Shufu has so many brothers," Wei Ying referred to the cousin brothers he learned about. 

"I'm his only brother by blood" he says "it means we have the same mother" he adds when Wei Ying gives a terrified look. 

 

"Like Lan Zhan and Xichen-ge?" 

 

"Yes, like them." 

 

A beat of silence passed. Wei Ying examines the room, mostly empty.

"Ah! that's- the book," Wei Ying takes the book from his desk. The book they found back in the gentian house. "It's Lan Zhan's mothers book, why is it here?" 

Lan Qingheng takes the book from Wei Ying's hand. A little overprotectiveness on his part. "Because that's my wife's book" 

Puzzled, Wei Ying asked "Lan Zhan's mother is your wife?" 

 

"Mn" 

 

"Why?" Wei Ying asked again.

 

Lan Wangji wanted to laugh. 

 

Why.

 

Lan Qingheng looked a little irritated, maybe a little hurt. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath."Why, I ask that to myself sometimes" his tone had a hint of melancholy. 

 

Lan Wangji knows that tone in his heart.

 

"what answer do you give then?" Wei Ying asked that casually. However, Lan Qingheng looked disoriented. He gaped and closed his eyes again. Just when Lan Wangji thought he was getting ignored he heard a murmured voice saying "Because I love her."  Lan Qingheng whispers something then,"I married her because I love her."  He says, being louder this time.

"You married Lan Zhan's mother?"  Wei Ying asked dramatically loudly. 

Lan Qingheng laughed, an empty fake one. "I shouldn't have, but I did! thinking i could save her like that." he broke his meditation position resting his head on his knees. "But I killed her."

 

You killed her.

 

Lan Wangji wanted to say that loudly. He wanted to grab his shoulders, shake him to his senses and shout. 

 

Why did you lock her there? Why did you leave her alone? Why did you not let her go? 

 

But he couldn't. He shouldn't. He had no right to. After all, he too once wanted to lock up Wei Ying.  He wanted to hide him from the world. He too thought hiding him will save him from the cruel world. He too couldn't let go of the person he loved. 

 

He felt like fate was playing with him. Bringing him back to the past to reveal him the truths. Truths he never dared to face. He didn't come here to unfold unwanted  mysteries, he came here to help Wei Ying. But here He was, listening to his father's broken heart. 

"But, elder Liu said god took her, that she was sick"  Wei Ying said, "I eavesdropped, I'm sorry." he added after a pause.

"God took her, why did God take her, she did nothing wrong." His father wailed,head still buried in his knees.Wei Ying places his hands on his arm. "Baba said, God takes good people to him, to make heaven beautiful. God took her because she was good." 

 

Wei Ying, Wei Ying. How are you so kind.

Lan Qingheng raised his head, he cried his eyes out. His face was soaked with tears, eyes swollen red. His lips quivered. Wei Ying fetched out his handkerchief and wiped his face with extra care, as if the man will cry again if he's rough, as if the man was a five year old child and Wei Ying was a responsible adult. The man let him take care of him, shutting his eyes as Wei Ying wiped his tears.

"You're kind" he says "and intelligent" he adds.

He is. Lan Wangji agrees. 

"Mama and baba told A-Ying to be kind" Wei Ying smiled softly.

Lan Qingheng creases Wei Ying's cheek gently saying,"A-Zhan is lucky to have you as your friend." 

He sat up as Wei Ying tucked back his handkerchief in his sleeve. From a cupboard he brings out a jar. The jar was full of cookies. Even though Wei Ying wasn't a big fan of cookies he ate them with delight. 

 

"Does A-Zhan talk about his father to you?" he asks.

Wei Ying munched on his cookies and said,"No, Lan Zhan doesn't talk much, I think his father is also dead, but he didn't tell me, so I don't know."

 

Lan Wangji knows the other man can't hear him, he still bites back his laugh as Lan Qingheng chokes on Wei Ying's accusation of him being dead. 

"Lan Zhan's father is not dead." 

"You met his father?" 

"Me, his father is me." 

A pause, then, "Eh! you're Lan Zhan's father?" He exclaimed. 

Lan Qingheng nods and says,"You're intelligent but you lack common sense." 

He does. Lan Wangji agrees to that as well. 

 

"How should I know if you don't tell me." he puffs his cheeks and munches his cookie angrily. Then, "Why don't you join us during lunch? Everyone eats together at lunch time. Even Elder Yan!" 

Sighing, he says,"I'm scared to go in front of them." 

"Why? Is it because they'll punish you? Do you hate the food?Yunshi-ge once  punished me for not eating the bitter soup." Lan Qingheng huffs. He looks at the empty wall and says,"I broke many rules, I fear that they hates me." 

 

"I break many rules, but Lan Zhan and Xichen-ge never hates me, Shufu gets angry sometimes, but Zirui laoshi said he gets angry because he cares.They won't hate you." he swallows his food and adds, "It's fine if they hate you,You love them right? they should know you love them." 

"How can I make them know?" belatedly Lan Qingheng asked .

"Tell them" 

"I don't know how to tell them." 

Wei Ying groans. He stands up and dusts off the crumbs from his robes. "I'll teach you how," He climbs up on the window sill and shouts "Lan Zhan, I Love You" The words echo back. "Now you tell." he spins around.As soon as Wei Ying pulled Lan Qingheng near the window they saw Lan Zhan, with a tomato red face, arriving there running. 

"Wei Ying" he called. It took a moment for him to recognize his father "Fuqin". He instantly bowed to his father. "Wait there," Lan Qingheng tells him from the window. He and Wei Ying came out of the house together. Wei Ying runs to hold Lan Zhan's hand instantly. 

Taking a deep breath, Lan Qingheng steps out and looks at the sky. His eyes water again. He sits on the stairs breathing faster than one should. When the kids stare at him with concern he tells them to sit beside him. Lan Zhan sits on his left with a proper distance while Wei Ying, on his right, almost sits on the man's lap. Lan Qingheng picks his son up, settling him on his left thigh and Wei Ying on his right.

Lan Zhan was flabbergasted. His face turned pink and sweaty. He fixed his gaze on his hands where he was clenching on his robes with all his might. Lan Wangji also felt embarrassed while fondness fluttered in his heart. 

 

"Tell him, tell him" WeiYing jumps on his lap. Lan Qingheng huffs, he lightly stroked Lan Zhan's hair and asked, "How are you?" Wei Ying frowned and pouted like a disappointed teacher. Lan Zhan darts his eyes from his hands to Wei Ying and then back to his hands before saying, "Well." 

"That's good," Lan Qingheng kept stroking his hair, not bothering to care when his fingers brushed the sacred ribbon. "Wuxian, can you please call a disciple here." 

"Okay" Wei Ying jumps from his lap and runs for the main ground. "Call a senior disciple," Lan Wangji advised him. They didn't have to go far before Wei Ying noticed a young adult near his twenties reading a book under the magnolia tree. "Shixiong! shixiong come with me." he pulled the teen before he could understand the situation. 

"Don't shout, don't run." he said as he happily followed Wei Ying.  

 

Every disciple in Cloud recesses knows Wei Ying for his playful nature, he hoped to have dragged to play with the kid. What he didn't hope was to see his Former Sect leader stroking his son's head with utter fondness. 

"S-Sect leader Lan!" he stuttered as he bowed full ninety degrees. "Sorry to have you disturbed." He was about to turn around and make his run before Lan Qingheng stopped him. He let the kid sit on the stair from his lap, face still red and sweaty. He went to the teen and murmured something. The teen bowed again before fast walking out of their view.

 

"What did he say when I was gone?" Wei Ying inquired while Lan Qingheng was away.

"About, brother and uncle, about my studies" 

"And?" 

"Nothing." 

Wei Ying pouted again. He was really hoping for the grown man to say 'I Love you' to the son he rarely met. He gave Lan Qingheng another disappointed look, he learned that from Lan Qiren.

"Patience." Lan Wangji reminded him. 

In a short time the disciple came back with his brother and uncle. Lan Xichen looked at his father with shock and bowed his head while Lan Qiren's face looked uncertain.  

"Shufu!" Wei Ying shouted "I found Lan Zhan's father." 

"Wei Wuxian! what did you do this time." his uncle barked. "Wuxian didn't do anything," Lan Qingheng assured. "He only helped." He added after a pause. 

Lan Xichen observed his father and then his brother. He flinched as his father stroked his hair out of the blue. "You've gotten taller," his father tells him. He tells him to sit and wait in the stair with his brother. 

 

"What happened? What did he say?" Lan Xichen asked. 

When Lan Zhan didn't answer his question, Wei Ying answered for him.

"I told him to say 'I Love you' to Lan Zhan, but he didn't" 

"You-" Lan Xichen's face got red. A grown man, their very distant father, saying that would be too awkward for them. 

 

"Wei Wuxian" Lan Qiren called "come here." Lan Qingheng goes to his kids as Wei Wuxian goes near his uncle. Lan Qingheng takes his boys to the cottage and closes the door. Lan Wangji didn't want to know what was going to happen but Wei Ying sure did. 

"Can I  go?" he asked 

Lan Qiren shook his head "Stay here, They're going to talk, about private matters" 

"Wuming, go and see what they are talking about" 

 

This kid!

 

"Don't meddle on private matters"  He reminded him. He could go and see what his father was telling his younger self. But the man here is not exactly his father. His father had long since died before the war. Heavens didn't send him to the past to reconcile his relationship with his father, He's only here for Wei Ying. Wei Ying groaned and sat on the ground, impatiently looking at the door. Lan Qiren sat beside him in a meditating position. Told him to meditate as he did. As Wei Ying had nothing better to do he obliged. 

A few hours later the door opened. The three of them had red rimmed eyes. Lan Xichen's cheeks were still tear stained. Regardless, they weren't sad. 

 

Happy tears? 

 

Lan Qiren stood up "So,coming back to your sect duties?" he asked. Wei Ying held Lan Zhan's hand, prying for an answer only to be ignored. 

"Can I bother you a little longer?" Lan Qingheng nervously said. "I don't feel ready to face the world yet." He continued. Lan Qiren scoffed saying, "You've bothered me for nine years," he looked at his brother with a frown that Lan Wangji knows is not a frown of anger or annoyance. "A little longer isn't a big deal." 

Whatever tension was between the two older men had ceased. Lan Qingheng smiled a little,"Thankyou Qiren." 

They looked at the kids, Wei Ying still poking the two brothers asking if their father had said 'I Love You' or not.Lan Xichen tried not to get shy and changed the topic while Lan Zhan ignored him fully. 

 

"Wuxian is very mature for his age." Lan Qingheng said. 

He is. 

"He's aslo very stupid for his age" Lan Qiren scoffed. 

He is.

 

Notes:

LQH: You're very mature for your age
WWX: haha thanks it's the trauma

*
WY: Lan Zhan are we forgetting something?
LZ: I'm too emotional to remember anything.
Kids who were playing with them: Guys???? Am I very good at hiding or they forgot about me??

*

I have a head canon that Lan Qingheng looks and speaks a lot like Lan Xichen. His heart is as soft as Lan Xichen.

Also if you want to know if Lan Qingheng said 'I Love you' to his sons the answer is no, he did not. Why? Well, I don't think asian perents ever says chessy stuff like that. Again hc that Wei Wuxian's parents are different, one of a kind. They used to say things like 'I Love you' and I'm proud of you'... yk stuff like that. So Wei Wuxian thinks for parents to say I love you isn't strange at all.
*

Story,,, One of my cousins once said that,, if you are playing hide and seek and you cant find them, just shout their name and say I love you! they'll come running to you. That didn't work irl but you know who'll fall for this cheesy trick??? Our dear boy Lan Zhan.

Chapter 8: Old tales of love and loss

Notes:

just to be safe, warning: blood, self injury.

Cloud recesses buzzed with summer heat. Not only was there a lively little Wei Ying running here and there but also,the infamous Qingheng-jun strolling idly in the pathways of Cloud recesses. He hadn't made his appearance public yet. Despite gossip being forbidden, disciples gossiped about this inclusion. He didn't join them for lunch in the dining hall like Wei Ying had requested him to. He preferred his solitude. Though he sometimes  joins his brother and his sons for dinner. He invites Wei Ying every time he plans to join them. Wei Ying was more than happy to have dinner with his dear friend. 

 

It was one of those days. Wei Ying joined them after the bath. It was supposed to be a nice family dinner. Except that, Two Lan elders, Lan Yan and Lan Liu were present there. 

 

These two are the most conservative elders in the whole clan. 

 

Lan Wangji wanted to run away from there. Not because he's scared but because their words stabs where it hurts the most. Lan Qingheng also looked uncomfortable. He knew he was going to be questioned about his life choices once again. Lan Wangji had been there too.

 

Be strong. Lan Wangji prayed for his father.

 

Wei Ying sat beside Lan Zhan. Lan Xichen being the responsible big brother signed them,mostly to Wei Ying, to behave, to be quiet. Wei Ying understood where it was a must to behave. He sat there quietly and properly without making a sound.

 

"I'm glad you're back from your seclusion. When do you plan to start your duties?" Lan Yan asked just before they were about to start eating. "I have no plans yet. Though I sometimes  help Qiren with a few papers." Lan Qingheng replied. The two elders raised their brows. Not wasting more time they started eating dinner silently. After the adults had started the childrens ate their respective food. 

 

Wei Ying would often mess with Lan Zhan, giving him his share of vegetables he didn't like, talking with a mouthful, whining when uncle gave him more bitter vegetables in his bowl. He didn't do any of that today. He ate his food without frowning. Even if the two elders eyed him bitterly, Lan Wangji ignored it. They were like that, there was Lan Wangji could do to change them. After dinner was done, Lan Qiren brewed tea for them. 

 

"What made you leave your seclusion?" Lan Liu asked.Lan Qingheng took a deep breath, "It was a sudden decision." 

 

"Always hasty with your decisions" Lan Yan scoffed. "Hastily marrying a murderess, hastily going into seclusion, hastily coming back from it too." he continued. "The way your wife died, we thought you're going to stay in seclusion forever." Lan Liu said after him with a smile. If that was supposed to be a joke it wasn't funny. 

 

Do they not realize they're talking about a dead mother in front of her childrens. The children in question didn't react negatively.  

Lan Xichen even dutifully poured tea in their cup. 

 

"My decisions might be hasty, however they're not wrong." His father stated. Lan Yan snickered "They're not wrong? Qingheng! You married a woman who killed your master." 

"No," Lan Qingheng said solemnly. He looked directly into their eyes saying, "I married a woman whom I loved dearly."  

Hearing that, Lan Yan's face got red out of anger. He gritted his teeth and was about to say something just before Lan Qiren interrupted him saying, "Let the deceased rest, Let us not quarrel over the past." He looked like he knew this would happen. That he had predicted the circumstances and practiced counter attacks. 

 

That's the grand master of Lan sect for you.

 

Lan Yan calmed down. "Qiren is right, No use quarreling over the past." He sipped his tea. "We should be more concerned about your future." 

"The future your sect and your children deserves." Lan Liu chirped.

Bewildered, Lan Qingheng and Lan Qiren looked at each other. Lan Yan cleared his throat for attention "I'll go straight to the point " He looked at the two men infront of him. "Qingheng should remarry." 

For a second Lan Wangji could only hear crickets outside humming and singing. Next he heard a loud crack and Wei Ying's subtle shriek. 

 

Lan Qingheng had gripped his cup so hard that it broke in his hand. Blood was dripping from his palm but he showed no hint of pain, only anger.  

 

The kids looked at the bloodied hand terrified to their bones. Wei Ying's hands shook out of nervousness. He still can't bear to see blood after so many encounters with wild dogs. Lan Wangji soothed him with 'I'm here' and 'don't be afraid'. 

 

Lan Yan on the other hand, looked furious "What we said was for the sake of your clan, You are the great leader of the Lan clan, Qingheng! your clan needs a worthy sect mistress." 

"Your children also need a good mother's care,'' Lan Liu continued. 

 

Lan Qingheng face was blank for a second, he barked a laugh after that. His shoulder shook as he kept laughing like a menace. It sounded just like..., just like Wei Ying's laughter during the siege. 

 

Hollowed, Pained, Angered, Frustrated. 

 

Lan Qingheng covered his face with his bloodied hand. His jade white face painted crimson red with blood. It made him look like a mad man. Lan Qiren held his shoulder but he was pushed back by his brother. "You must be joking, tell me you're joking." he wiped his tears. "After all this time, now you care about my children?" He laughed again. "First you take them away from their mother's care then you say that they need a mother." he copied their tone in a mocking manner. 

 

"Lan Qingheng" Lan Yan threatened.

"Lan Yan." Lan Qingheng threatened back with the same fury. "You forced me to sseparate from my wife, only beacuse she murdered a guilty man, then when she dies out of utter desolation you tell me to remarry?" 

He continued after no one replied him, "Where was your concern when master was proven guilty, where was your concern when my children cried for their mother's warmth, where was your concern when my brother struggled with the sect, Where was your concern when you saw my wife slowly fading to death. You didn't care if she died, you wished for her death! You didn't care if my children got orphaned did you? So why do you care now."

 

Lan Wangji was too shocked to comprehend everything he said. Lan Qingheng was always so quiet. This was the first time he saw the man talk so much with power and authority. 

 

"Even if he was proven guilty, he didn't deserve to be killed," Lan Liu said. "I never denied, He didn't deserve to die nor did my wife." Lan Qingheng said, this time sounding more clear headed and calm.

 

Lan Yan gripped his tea cup making it crack on his hand,"Fine, do whatever you want, You and your brother bringing anyone you please." Lan Yan looked at Wei Ying and Wei Ying flinched at his piercing gaze. 

 

"Qiren!" Lan Yan swiftly stood up "If this boy brings any harm to the sect," his gaze piercing through Wei Ying, He and Lan Liu stormed off without finishing  their threat.

"Wei Ying, breath. Don't listen to them, They won't do anything, everything will be fine, keep faith in yourself." Lan Wangji tried to ease up his tension. He was never good with words, so he hugged the boy as tight as he could. 

 

Lan Qiren ordered Lan Xichen to bring Physician Mei for his father's aid. He picked out the broken pieces of ceramic from his brothers hand.

 

"I'm sorry" Lan Qingheng said abruptly. "I shouldn't have behaved like that in front of you childrens." Wei Ying and Lan Zhan looked at each other, None of them could answer the man's apology, nor were they able to move.

 

"Drink the tea" Lan Qiren gave two cups to the children, "you'll feel better." 

 

Soon Physician Mei came with her bag joking that she thought Wei Ying was in trouble again. "Why always me?" Wei Ying whined, at least that made them lose their built up tension. 

*

 

After going through all that mental torment, Wei Ying asked Lan Zhan if he could sleep with him. Lan Zhan happily agreed. He gave Wei Ying his extra sleep wear to sleep in. 

 

In his lifetime, Lan Wangji had wished for this a lot. Maybe those desires were not as innocent as the two kids here but he loved seeing Wei Ying's sleeping face. His Wei Ying often used to fall asleep during the class. He looked so calm and peaceful while sleeping, so unlike his awake manner. Lan Wangji knows his kid self will soon fall crazy in love with Wei Ying. He'll soon realize his feelings for the other boy.  He can only pray for the kid not to be possessive over Wei Ying. After all, Wei Ying wasn't like him. He was not into men, Wei Ying said so himself in the Xuanwu cave. He won't feel the same for Lan Zhan. He hopes that Wei Ying and Lan Zhan could still stay as good friends. 

"Your bed is so big! Lan Zhan." Wei Ying jumped on the bed "four people can sleep together, no five people, no six!" 

"I only have one pillow" Lan Zhan said with his usual monotone voice. 

"That's okay,we can share," Wei Ying patted the pillow. They laid down resting their head on the same pillow, covering themselves in the same blanket. Lan Wangji rested in one corner watching the two kids getting comfortable. Lan Zhan was still wearing his headband while Wei Ying kept it folded with his robes.

 

"Zhan zhan, tell me a story,"  Wei Ying whispers. 

"I.. don't know any" 

Wei Ying pouts then, "Tell me stories about your mother." There was a pause before Lan Zhan mumbled "Muqin was beautiful." She was. Wei Ying shifted closer to the boy, for better hearing."She liked to.." Tease you  "play with me, she would teach me rhymes, praise me for memorizing them."

"Mama did too!" whispered loudly.  "She played catch with me, we ran to see who comes fast, mama wins everytime." 

"Muqin sometimes sung to me" 

"Mama sings to me at night," 

The two kids eagerly shared their stories of their mother. Completely forgetting  about the previous strom they had just faced. 

 

Lan Wangji quietly listened to them until sleep embraced him.

*

"Xian-shidi" Li Yong called. Wei Ying was practicing his martial art skills, training his body, with other disciples. Although talking during training is strictly prohibited, today seems to be different. Barely anyone was paying attention to their training. Everyone was talking about something, going to town or so. "Do you want to join us?" Li Yong said as he clumsily hit his wooden mu ren zhuang. "Da-shixiong said he'll take us." 

"I will" Wei Ying replied more concentrated in his hits and forms. 

"We will buy the best paper and make the best lanterns." 

Hearing this Wei Ying stopped "why lantern?" 

"What do you mean 'why' .Tomorrow is the Qixi festival, don't you remember?" He replied with excitement. 

 

Wei Ying continued his training silently, as diligently as Lan Zhan did beside him. 

When the training session was done he asked "Wuming, what is the Qixi festival".

"Do you know the story of the weaver girl and cowherd boy?" 

Wei Ying shook his head. 

Lan Wangji tells him the legendary story, About their love,sorrow and reunion. It's one of Lan Wangji's favorite. 

"So people fly lanterns to light up their path, And The two lovers will meet and fulfill our wish." 

 

"Mn" 

 

"Hey Wuming, do you have a lover?" 

Lan Wangji didn't expect to be asked that question. What should he answer?

 

"I did," He answered honestly. 

"Is it like the cowherd boy and weaver girl" 

"No" 

"Then?" 

"I'll tell you when you grow up a little more, okay?" 

The boy whined but agreed with him. His attention was averted when Lan Zhan came to him. 

Next day, on the day of the Qixi festival, The party left for town early in the morning.  

Their party consisted of him, Lan Zhan, Lan Xichen, Li Yong, Yu Zhen, Lan Yunshi and his friend Meng Qi.

 

Lan Qiren gave Wei Ying a money pouch telling him to spend wisely. Wei Ying couldn't contain his thrill when they arrived at the town. Caiyi town was busier, vendors shouted,Ox cart and horses were in the roads, Men and women running here and there to sell their products. 

 

"Don't get lost or Master will beat our ass" Meng Qi said, earning a jab from Lan Yunshi. "Xichen, Wangji, hold Wuxian's hand tightly, he's more likely to get lost." Lan Yunshi said. "Everyone be aware of pickpockets, if you're not careful they'll steal your money." He warned. 

"Did you ever got your money stolen?" Li Yong asked. 

If he did, recalling that moment will make anyone's face dark. However when the young boy asked him Lan Yunshi smiled fondly and shyly nodded. His friend Meng Qi Bumped his shoulders with a smug look.

 

Lan Zhan held Wei Ying's forearm more tightly than needed. They walked around looking for good quality papers.Wei Ying's eyes couldn't settle on one place.He looked at every vendor, with colorful readymade paper lanterns, trinkets, Sweets and candies. The two seniors bought them tanghulu, Qiao su cake while they strolled. However, Lan Yunshi looked like he was in a hurry and wanted to be somewhere else. 

 

They still had to buy bamboo sticks and paint when Lan Yunshi brought  them to an inn. "Meng Qi, please look after the kids I have somewhere to be.'' 

"You can not abandon me, think about your five kids" Meng Qi dramatically wailed.Lan Yunshi looked too frustrated to play along with him. Before he could say anything a dagger was placed on his throat from his behind. "Hand over all your money." The owner of the dagger, a woman around his age orders. 

 

Everyone near the inn looks at them with shock. A grown cultivator being threatened by a small woman was truly a scene. The kids also looked at them with utmost shock and fear. Regardless, Lan Yunshi touched the tip of the dagger, pushing it down. "Miss Qiuyue, please, people are looking." He turned around to the lady. His eyes softened and frustration vanished. 

 

"Let the people look" pouting, She stomped her foot on the ground. "I've been waiting for you since morning and you're here, enjoying with your friends." She glared at Meng Qi. 

"Ah, Jie, don't scold Yunshi-ge" Wei Ying speaks up. "Shufu told him to be with us." 

The woman awed and crouched in front of him. "A cute kid with a red ribbon, are you Wei Wuxian?" Wei Ying nods. 

 

"Xin Qiuyue, don't scare the kid" Lan Yunshi jokes. The woman, Xin Qiuyue,rolled her eyes. She looked at Wei Ying with a pouty face "Your Yunshi-ge promised to meet me, this jie has been waiting for hours but little did she know she was being cheated on." She petulantly complained and Meng Qi barked a laugh. Lan Xichen made an 'oh' sound which means he has the puzzle solved. "Tang-Xiong never told us he had another appointment, if we knew we wouldn't have bothered him." He bowed. 

 

She laughed and bowed to Lan Xichen as a greeting. " I don't understand why he's so secretive, it's not like I'm from a disreputable family." She stands up dusting her skirt. "Anyways, since we're here, let's have lunch together." She goes in without waiting for anyone. 

 

As soon as she goes in Lan Yunshi quickly sits and claps his hands together."Please keep this a secret from the others, especially from my father." he begged. The two other disciples laughed and joked. Lan Xichen assured him, promising no one will know about her. 

 

The name Xin Qiuyue sounded familiar to Lan Wangji. Surely if she married Lan Yunshi in his life he'd know her but he feels like he's forgetting something. Not that it's something important, old age has made his brain weak.

In side the inn they orders Qixi festival special noodles. "Consumption of meat is forbidden" Lan Zhan remined but no one paid any heed to him. "It's a festival, so we can enjoy meat, just don't tell Master Qiren." Lan Yunshi said. Wasn't he the head disciple? Breaking the rules behind your master's back. Ridiculous.

 

Xin Qiuyue poured chili oil in her noodles and the redness caught Wei Ying's eyes.

 

Bless her.

 

"What's that?" Wei Ying asked. "It's chili oil! it makes food tastier" Xin Qiuyue gives the pot to Wei Ying to examine. Wei Ying smells it then licks it from the pot. He poured some like Xin Qiuyue did. 

 

Lan Wangji wanted to cry when he saw Wei Ying's eyes lit up with epiphany. He has discovered his new favorite food,Lan Wangji was there to witness it, he thanked the heavens for giving him the opportunity. 

 

Wei Ying poured more chili oil in his bowl, making the yellow soup bright red. Everyone panicked and snatched the pot from his hand. "You'll have an upset stomach like that," Meng Qi said. "You can't eat that." Wei Ying made grabby hands, he whined saying "I'll have a happy stomach, I like it." 

To everyone's shock Wei Ying happily ate his red spicy noodles. Li Yong took a sip from his bowl out of curiosity and ended up crying for water. 

 

"Are you sure this is okay?" Xin Qiuyue nervously said. "I guess." Lan Yunshi responded.

"Tang-xiong, why don't you tell us about yourself, how did you two meet? '' Lan Xichen asked. His interest in romantic drama was never subtle. Lan Wangji hates him for it.

Unconcerned of public attention Xin Qiuyue laughed, loudly. She stood up thanking Lan Xichen for asking. Lan Yunshi wanted to stop her but she refused to let this chance of storytelling go.

 

She cleared her throat, placing her hand over her chest she batted her eyes like a shy maiden. "On a fateful day I, Lan Yunshi, was going on my own journey." Everyone looked at her attentively, she was going to play the characters? can't she tell the story like a normal person? Lan Yunshi looked like he was suffering from second hand embarrassment, Still Xin Qiuyue continued. "When I was told to pay for my boat ride, I realized my money pouch was no longer with me! it had been stolen." She gasps dramatically. "What shall I do, I can't continue my journey without any money" She places a hand over her forehead, "Who will help me at this dreadful time." She wiped her invisible tears. "Suddenly, hear a bold voice" She goes to her other side, acting all heroic now, "Can I help you young boy?" She goes back to her previous side and meekly states, "A beautiful brave young lady has offered her kind hand, how can I say no to her kindness." She reached out her hand as if she was holding something. "Miss Xin Qiuyue offered her kindness and," stands straight, placing both hands over her chest. "And that's how Lan Yunshi fell in love at first sight, with the beautiful brave young lady named Xin Qiuyue. The end."  

Everyone except Lan Zhan and Lan Yunshi clapped their hands. Some other people who happened to witness the whole show also clapped for them. 

 

"Xin jie is so good at telling stories." Wei Ying exclaimed. While her play was on going Lan Wangji remembered who Xin Qiuyue was. Lan Jingyi's mother. So,Lan Jingyi got his theatrics from his mother. Lan Wangji couldn't remember her because he never met her. And his father Lan Yunshi was always traveling far away, so they barely encountered each other. 

 

Lan Jingyi, That boy was one of a kind. 

Notes:

Conservatives relatives can destroy your life, can't they?

Lan Xichen's extraordinary ability is to detect who's in love with who. He's also very invested in their love life.

All the Lans suffer from "love at first sight" also all the Lans suffer from "falling in love with a complete weirdo."

Please welcome Lan Jingyi's chaotic parents.

Chapter 9: The little angel can be weird

After their lunch Lan Yunshi went off with Xin Qiuyue. Meng Qi was stuck alone with five kids.  "This is what happens when you're friends with a Lan." Meng Qi cries. "All the ladies pay attention to them!" Li Yong and his friend Yu Zhen condole him pitifully. They bought their essentials and extras. Lan Xichen bought a novel that's currently very popular.It's a romance genre. 

 

"Don't you want to buy anything?" Meng Qi asks Wei Ying.  

"Can I?" 

"Of course you can." Lan Wangji tells him but Wei Ying doesn't respond. Maybe he didn't hear him because of the noise.

"Look around what you want to buy, don't cry when you get back home."Wei Ying looked around, It could be that he can't decide what to buy. Lan Qiren provided him everything he needed. He doesn't lack anything. 

 

"How about you buy a toy?" Lan Wangji suggested. Wei Ying didn't resopnded to it either. Strange, he was resting on his shoulder, he should hear him. 

Lan Wangji's thoughts were interrupted by a woman's cry. The woman was sitting on the ground staring at the squashed cakes on the ground.Some men were apologizing for pushing her and stepping on her cakes.

"What am I supposed to do with your sorries,I don't have the money to buy more." she retorted, dusting the remaining cake. 

"Look lady, we apologized" The men sneered and walked away.Wei Ying walked to the lady asking "Jie, don't cry." 

Lan Wangji's heart flutters. Wei Ying was an angel. He could never watch people cry. The lady smiled. "Such a sweet little boy you are gongzi." she wipes her tears "I was buying these cakes for my little brother but," her shoulders slumps down. 

Wei Ying instantly pulls out two silver coins from his pouch offering it to her, "Is this okay?" 

 

Lan Wangji felt like a proud father. Even though it was not him who taught him to be so kind, still he can't help but feel pride. 

 

Helping those in need. Truly the embodiment of the Lan clan. 

 

The lady however looked shocked. "Gongzi, I- I can't," Wei Ying takes her hand and places the coins on her palm. What he does when Lan Zhan refuses to take something from him."Jiejie can now buy cakes for her little brother." He smiles at her."Gongzi, these cakes don't cost more than five copper coins." She retorted. "It's more than needed." She adds as Wei Ying couldn't understand how two silver coins can be more than five copper coins. 

 

"Then you can buy more" he expands his hands to depict the amount. 

"Are you sure, Your family might-"  

"Take it, it's fine," Meng Qi says. 

Judging the same outfit the lady guessed they might be related. She takes the money, buys her wanted cakes and gives two to Wei Ying as a gratitude.  

"Thankyou again, gongzi. You're truly very kind." She bows before saying her goodbyes. 

"Little Xianxian is already winning the ladies heart" Meng Qi pinches his cheeks.

"Is it bad?" Wei Ying asked. "Giving money?"

"No it's not bad, it's just, People don't really give away so much money so easily. Even if it's not their own. Not everyone is kind in this world, you know." 

"why?" 

"I don't know, even, I'm not that kind and I don't know why." 

Wei Ying didn't ask any further, he also didn't buy anything for himself.

Soon They meet with Lan Yunshi and they went back to Cloud recesses together. 

*

 

"Wuming where were you?" Wei Ying asks as he enters his room. "I went to the town and had so much fun."

"I was with you" 

"Really? I didn't see you. Anyways, We bought so many papers and sticks and paint. Shixiong bought me tanghulu and-" and Wei Ying talked about everything that happened. Lan Wangji didn't mind hearing what he saw with his own eyes.  

 

Wei Ying asked him if it was wrong to give money. Lan Wangji assures him that he wasn't wrong. It was kind of him. Although some people act to be poor, he should learn who's truly in need. "Help those who need help, not those who only act like it."

He then described why two silver coins are more expensive than five copper coins. He'll learn about counting money soon.

 

He changes into cleaner robes to join everyone near the southern waterfall.

On his way he sees Qingheng-jun in the gentian house yard, playing his guqin with melancholy. 

 

Lan Wangji sympathizes. He also used to play his Guqin on Wei Ying's memory. His uncle used to get angry at him for taking the act of a widowed man. Here the man truly was widowed. He had the courage to confess, to marry the person he loved, where else Lan Wangji couldn't. He envied the man then. 

His melancholy couldn't last long as Wei Ying dragged him along with him. Near the waterfall cliff, both male and female disciples gathered to make their lanterns. There were also married couples from the Lan family who joined the work. 

 

Lan Qingheng and Lan Qiren watched them from afar. Lan Yunshi and Meng Qi taught their junior disciples to make lanterns. They painted their lanterns as they wished.  Wei Ying doodled him and Lan Zhan holding hands with a strange worm floating near Wei Ying's head. That was him, his dragon self. It was a cute gesture. Lan Zhan didn't paint his lantern, he calligraphed  'Fortune'. Wei Ying pouted saying he should draw something then painted smiley faces on lanterns. 

 

"Where is Zirui Laoshi?" Wei Ying said loudly. Other kids also asked as they noticed their favorite teacher was missing. 

"He's trying to fulfill his wish'' An elderly woman chimed in, his mother Lan Wangji guessed. Few other women, both young and old giggled with her.

 

When the sun was about to set, they floated their lanterns in the sky one by one. "Don't forget to make your wish," Lan Wangji said.

 

Wei Ying copied his seniors, clasping his hands together he mumbles "I wish, I can help all the people in need." 

 

Simply, any kid of his age would wish for a new toy, or getting better at their studies and others. Wei Ying was truly a blessing from the heavens. Lan Wangji feels his heart soar to the sky. He wanted to kiss Wei Ying's cheeks but it was nothing more than a nudge for the way his mouth was shaped. Wei Ying laughed as Lan Wangji's hair- fur tickles him. 

 

Qingheng-jun invited him to his own quarters for dinner, saying he had requested a special dinner. His quarters, the one he used to live before his marriage, looked better than the cottage he was in. It was decorated with simple curtains and paintings. There was also a  huge bookshelf. 

 

Wei Ying, as always, sat beside Lan Zhan. He looked at the food items as a servant placed them one after one. It wasn't the same bland food they ate everyday.There 

were various kinds of nuts, the dishes were filled with stir fried vegetables with mild spice for aroma.Wei Ying squeals, smelling the food. 

 

"A-Zhan, do you not want to give your gift?" Lan Xichen tugges his brother. Lan Zhan gives Wei Ying a bottle of chili oil. Wei Ying roars holding the bottle high like a trophy. It was a trophy to him. 

 

Lan Qingheng was concerned about his spice tolerance, Lan Qiren didn't like the smell of spice or the look, but he didn't forbid him from eating. As if he knew Wei Ying could digest it easily. 

*

 

Few days later Lan Zirui barged in the Cloud recesses, running frantically he hugged Lan Qiren out of nowhere. After earning a hard punch from him he shouted, "The girl I was courting agreed to marry me." Lan Qiren frowned, asking "That non-cultivator?" Though Lan Zirui looked offended he nodded with a "yes, her."

 

Everyone present in the class cheered and congratulated him. Soon, there was a wedding held in Cloud recesses. Lan Qiren gave Wei Ying two sets of ceremonial robes, One in blue designed with white lotus embroidery, the other in white with yellow ginko leaves. Wei Ying liked the lotus designed robe more. This was the first wedding he was attending. Now, Even if the Lan wedding tradition was boring he couldn't tell. 

 

When the bride arrived in her marriage sedan Wei Ying and Lan Zhan threw flower petals at her. He was awed by the red decoration of the ancestral hall, the red lanterns, and red hallway mats. Everything was colored in his favorite color. 

 

After the marriage rituals, during the tea ceremony Lan Zirui's mother took them to show the wedding chamber. It was decorated more with red curtains, bed sheets. The room smelled of sweet flowers.As one wedding chamber should. 

The elderly women happily allowed them to play on the bed. "Zirui Laoshi and his wife get to wear red robes" he had said. He also wished for red robes. 

"At a wedding, only the bride and the groom wear red." Lan Xichen responded. 

"Does Wei Ying want a red robe?" Lan Zhan asked. 

"These robes are pretty too" He showed his robes. 

 

They welcomed the new bride in the chamber. Several other young maidens were with her giggling to themselves.  

"Jiejie, can I see your face?" Wei Ying scooted near her. Her face was still covered with a veil. She giggled under her veil lifting it slightly, her face was covered with white powder and red rouge. Though it was a comparably simple make-up she looked beautiful.  "Pretty" Wei Ying's pupils blew wide. "Are you Wei Wuxian?" she asked, "And you must be Lan Wangji. Your Laoshi talks about you two a lot" 

"What did he say"

She playfully pinched his cheeks saying,"He said, that you once put ink on his mat and he had ink marks on his behind the whole day.", Wei Ying laughed remembering his mischievousness. 

"Keep laughing more, gongzi, the more you laugh the more blessings will rain upon." One maid said and giggled more.

Hearing that the bride got shy, 

"Why should it rain?" Wei Ying asked.

The maids laughed and giggled more. Wei Ying hated it when he asked a genuine  question and no one would answer it for him. His discomfort was clear in his face. 

 

"Wuxian" Lan Zirui' s mother said "it means the gods will see that kids are happy with the new couple. So they'll bless them with lots of kids." 

 

The bride, now more shy, hid her face with her hands mumbling something under her breath."Then I'll laugh more so the gods will give you a lot of kids" Wei Ying emphasized on the 'lot'. The bride whined as Wei Ying laughed and giggled.

 

"Get out, make room for the groom," Lan Yunshi came in, taking the kids with him. Everyone wished good luck to the bride making more remarks of blessings. 

 

Lan Zirui had a stuck up look on his face. His usual cheerful manner was nowhere to be seen. Behind him his friends and cousins cheered him. 

"Pray for me" He said to Wei Ying and Lan Zhan as if he was going to war. 

 

Lan Yunshi placed a silencing talisman as soon as he closed the doors. "Just in case he forgets" other disciples had laughed.  

 

"Wuming,What was that" 

"A silencing talisman" 

"What does it do?"

"It prevents noise escape, you'll learn more about it in future" 

 

Lan Wangji isn't going to tell him why the teen had put it there. 

*

 

"We'll play wedding-wedding." Wei Ying proposed one fateful afternoon.

 

They had just finished their lunch after training.Most kids his age would take a nap. Whoever didn't, ended up getting dragged by Wei Ying to play. 

 

"How do you play it?" a Lan kid asked.

 

"one will be a groom, one will be a bride one will be the monk others will be guest" 

 

There were only three of them so there would be no guests. Lan Zhan stayed quiet as the other kids' faces got red. "This is so weird, who'll become the bride, there's no girl here." Wei Ying placed a hand on his hips saying,"rock-paper-scissors, the one to lose becomes the wife."

 

The kid abruptly stood up, muttering something incoherent, "and I'm still mad that you forgot about us while playing hide and seek." stomping his feet he runs off. 

 

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan looked at each other helplessly. He pulled out a red cloth, one he took from the wedding ceremony as a memento,showing it to Lan Zhan. "I even brought a veil for the bride." 

 

He puts the cloth over his head like a veil and bats his eyes shyly like a maiden. He looked cute. "I'll be the bride then, Lan Zhan, you can be the groom." 

 

Lan Wangji scoffs. This kid…

 

 Lan Wangji was more interested in his child self.  How would the kid react to this. 

Unsurprisingly, The kid nods, "Who'll read the vows?" He asked.  

"Wuming will" 

Why do I have to- 

"I'm not doing this" He side eyes, floating away from Wei Ying's reach. 

 

Wei Ying whines before saying "fine,Don't do it."

 

They sit down together looking at each other. "I don't know what happened during the vow, I wasn't looking, did you?" 

Lan Zhan shook his head. Good thing they don't know or they would have prostrated  three times without understanding the depth of it. 

 

"Who cares," Wei Ying took off his veil "Now that we are married," Exactly when did that happen? "Husband should buy gifts for wife." He orders with a demonoir of a house mistress. 

"What does Wei Ying want?" Lan Zhan asked. Wei Ying tapped his chin before saying "Stick" Without questioning, Lan Zhan ran to find a stick. When he brings a stick, Wei Ying tells him to bring a rock. After a rock, he orders for a flower, then a seed, a feather and many random things. Lan Wangji thought it looked more like a master and servant rather than husband and wife. 

 

Wei Ying soon got bored of playing the idle wife. They decided playing catch, running and jumping around was more fun. 

 

Children are sometimes weird if you ask.

Notes:

Lan Xichen,buying romance novel: gotta know more to help didi.

*
Lan Qiren: Do you have marry a non-cultivator?
Lan Zirui: *offended gasp* At least I'm marrying! *pointing at Lan Qiren* at least she isn't a certified trouble maker!
*pointing at Lan Qingheng* At least she didn't kill anyone!
*pointing at Lan Zhan* At least she isn't a broken chatter box! no offense but at least I didn't fall in love at the tender age of five! that's so weird man!
*pointing at Lan Xichen* I don't know who but you'll be worse than them! I can feel it!

Chapter 10: Two lotus of the same stalk

When Lan Xichen was given his spiritual  sword Shuoyue, Wei Ying was six years old. As a sect heir he got his sword three years after he formed his golden core. Everyone praised him for forming his core at the age of seven. Lan Qingheng had not yet returned to his duties as a sect leader.Regardless, Lan Wangji was glad he was there for his eldest son's sword bestowing ceremony. 

 

By the time Wei Ying excelled in his class. Compared to his fellow classmates his only rival was his dear friend Lan Zhan. Lan Wangji was sure soon he'll form his golden core. Unfortunately he can't feel any spiritual energy so he can't tell how long that will take. It will grow faster if Wei Ying meditates more. Rather than meditating Wei Ying had more interest in learning about spells and talismans. He'd often go to Lan Qiren's study to show him his talisman and array work.Lan Qiren pointed out where he made a mistake, which mistake can be grave, telling him to practice more.Though he couldn't use them without any spiritual energy he was eager to learn. 

"I'll be able to use them as soon as I form my core." He had said.

One afternoon while playing catch with Lan Zhan, Wei Ying accidentally crossed the protective ward of Cloud recesses. Lan Zhan still followed to catch him. The two wouldn't stop until one was out. They ran deep into the forest of the back mountain. 

"Wei Ying, you should stop now, look where you are," Lan Wangji reported. Wei Ying abruptly stopped in his place causing Lan Zhan to crash on his back. 

 

"Where are we?" They looked up at the tall trees looming over them. It was dark, Sunlight couldn't reach the ground. Wild weeds covered the grounds. Crickets and birds sang from afar giving the forest an eerie atmosphere.

"In the back mountain" Lan Wangji informed. "It's dangerous to stay here longer, go back." Wei Ying described  to Lan Zhan what he said and they headed back to the main grounds, hand in hand.In the Cloud recesses, only Lan Zhan believed in 'Wuming', others would call him an imaginary friend Wei Ying created due to Loneliness in the streets. 

As the kids slowly headed back to Cloud recesses, Lan Wangji could feel a hint of resentful energy. It was strange that Lan Wangji hadn't felt spiritual energy over a year but he was suddenly feeling resentful energy. 

 

From the left…

 

"Wei Ying on your left! look out" Wei Ying looks to his left as Lan Wangji shouts. Out of nowhere a small black round creature smashes Wei Ying's face, trying to bite him. Wei Ying reacted quickly, he tried to get rid of the creature but its grip on his hair made it hard for him.Lan Zhan helped him get rid of it, throwing it far away like a ball. "Run!" Lan Wangji told him, Though they were already running.  

"What is that?" Wei Ying asked.

"A low level yao, you can't fight it, just run"

Wei Ying tells Lan Zhan what he had said. It was as if fate was testing them, Wei Ying stumbles on a rock and sprains his ankle. Just when Lan Zhan was going to help Wei Ying stand, the yao attacked him again. 

What was its problem!!

Lan Zhan threw the yao again, hitting it on a tree. The throw wasn't strong enough and it was getting ready to attack Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan tried to push it away as soon as it touched his palm a gust of spiritual energy surges out.

 

Has he formed his core already? 

 

However, Lan Zhan's  qi wasn't wrong enough for an attack, it only flew backwards, hitting a rock. It gave them enough time to stand back. But as kids,they were too stunned at what just happened.That yao was a stubborn one to attack them again. Before it could attack Lan Zhan again Wei Ying threw a rock at it. His attack also had a mixture of spiritual energy. 

 

He formed his core as well?? 

 

Wei Ying's attack was powerful enough. The rock had smashed the yao's black hairy round body, making it unconscious.  Purplish ooze was coming out of its wound. It was a horrifying scene for two six year old kids.They stiffened there, too scared and worked up to move. As Wei Ying kept looking at the disgusting ooze his face became green. He threw up there. Lan Wangji rubs circles on his back, Lan Zhan looks at him helplessly.  

 

"It's not dead yet, hurry back before it gains consciousness," Lan Wangji said. Wei Ying hisses as he takes a step. His sprained ankle, Lan Wangji wishes he could carry Wei Ying. He felt useless. 

He didn't have to feel useless for long, as his counterpart, his child self, offered his back to carry Wei Ying. Though Wei Ying hasitaed at first, Lan Wangji told him it was okay to be carried. In his lifetime, Haven't  Wei Ying carried him on his back. That boy wouldn't let go of him even when Lan Wangji kicked and fumbled like a child.

 

Slowly they came back to their protected  area. Lan Zhan took him to the infirmary, where physician Mei groaned to see Wei Ying again. "What happened?why do you have scratch marks all over your face?" she hurries. Wei Ying shows her his swollen ankle as Lan Zhan describes what happened. "You used qi to attack?" astonished, she asked. She quickly checks their lower abdomen. "Holy lord" her eyes widened. She quickly sends a disciple to get their respective guardians. In the meantime she takes care of Wei Ying's wounds with her practiced hand. She gave both of them ginger candy while they wait.

*

 

"It's a miracle" one elder chirps."At such a young age." 

 

The news spread through Cloud recesses like wildfire. The second heir of the Lan clan forming a core at the tender age of six was phenomenal. Not that anyone found it unaccepting. What was hard to swallow for them was that Wei Ying formed his core at the early age of six. They were still in the infirmary where a couple of elders came along with Lan Qiren to check up their core formation.

 

"He was just a street child" one elder showed her unwanted pity. "Absurd, are you sure they're not mistaken." They gossiped loudly among themselves, even though it was forbidden, even when others could hear them. "He had no family background, even his mother was a street child." 

"I heard his father was a servant," 

"Is Qiren pampering him more than his own nephews?" 

"That must be the cause, I heard he had feelings for that woman, his mother." 

"Love truly is a curse for those brothers" 

 

Lan Qiren cleared his throat pretending not to hear any of those horrendous talk.But Wei Ying shrunk to himself, he understood he was not being appreciated like Lan Zhan was. "Wangji and Wuxian meditated together with me, they trained their body in the name of playing. It shouldn't be a surprise for them forming a core at the same time." Lan Qiren said. The Lan elders seemed like they wanted to refute but stopped when Lan Zhan loudly said, "Like a lotus flower breaking the surface" Then repeating again, "Wei Ying is like a lotus flower breaking the surface." He looks softly at Wei Ying saying "Growing through mud, blooming unstained." 

One elder scoffs and laughs, "Already standing up for your friend?" 

 

Good that he did. 

 

"We're not against your friend" another elder says, "We're only shocked that you two formed a core at the same time." She waves her hands."Two lotus of the same stalk" They joked and giggled.Later Lan Qiren tells them to meet in his workplace. He takes the elders with him. 

 

"Lan Zhan, you think I'm a Lotus flower?" Wei Ying tugges on his sleeves, very excited to have to be compared with a lotus. Lan Zhan nods shyly, his ears getting pink.

 

Shy now.

 

"Then can I be a red lotus?" 

"You can, Wei Ying is a red lotus." 

Physician Mei coughs saying "Little Wuxian, Red Lotus refers to women, you can be a white lotus." 

"No, I want to be a red lotus." He frowns and puffs his cheeks. Wei Ying was stubborn when it came to something he liked. Physician Mei scoffs, crossing her hands over her chest."Why are you so obsessed with the color red, might as well start wearing red outfits." then abruptly "No! Don't! Lan sect disciples should only wear blue and white." 

 

Wei Ying puckers his lips, "Lan Zhan you can be the white lotus and I'll be the red lotus." he smiles taking Lan Zhan's hand. Lan Zhan nodded, smiling a little more.

After Wei Ying's ankle was healed they went to Lan Qiren's workspace. Lan Qiren gave them a two hours worth lecture regarding Qi formation, Qi deviation, Qi flow and others. It sounded like he was unhappy that he wasn't the first one to know about their core. Later he assigned their punishment for breaking through the wards, which was silently facing the wall of rules for another two hours.

*

 

Since they built their core they had to get ready for their spiritual swords. Lan Qiren wanted to design their swords as both the kids were "too young to design swords". Lan Zirui somehow convinced him to let the kids try as it's a part of their mental growth. From then on Wei Ying had been trying to design a sword that he wanted.  After training, he'd part ways with Lan Zhan as both wanted their swords to be a surprise. 

 

Wei Ying is a messy organizer. His room was filled with rough drawings of swords and pamphlets for reference. "Why don't you let me help?" Lan Wangji asked as Wei Ying threw another crumpled paper. If Lan Qiren knows he's wasting paper like this, he might never give Wei Ying a sword. 

 

"No, I want to do this myself." Wei Ying groaned. Lan Wangji doesn't want to hinder Wei Ying's growth but he also wishes to see him wielding Suibian again. 

 

Will his design be like the Suibian I know?

 

In his life, Suibian was left behind after Wei Ying's death. Wei Ying had sealed Suibian before... that incident. Lan Wangji wanted to keep Suibian under his care. But everyone believed that Wei Ying might come back through his sword, "There has to be a reason behind sealing a sword." they said. 

 

Their imagination was ridiculous.Wei Ying never returned.Years after years Lan Wangji debated with Jin Guanyao to get back Suibian. Only after did Lan Xichen requested him, He agreed to give up the sword. Lan Wangji was grateful to his brother for this. Bichen was back with Suibian, his heart was content. 

 

"Wuming, look at this! how does it look" Wei Ying shows his paper. It slightly looked like Suibian but the hilt was designed differently. "Hm good, Which reference did you use?" Because it didn't match any of the pamphlets. 

"Baba's sword looked like this" Wei Ying declares.

 

Did Wei Changze have a sword? 

 

"Your father was a cultivator?" Lan Wangji asked instead. Wei Ying closed his eyes and tapped his chin with the brush end saying, "I don't know, I remember watching him duel with mama every morning." 

Wasn't Wei Ying always bad at memorizing events? Wei Ying himself once said that he doesn't remember much about his parents. Is it the continuous meditation that helped his memory? the food? Different upbringing? Or maybe he'll forget when he gets older. The last guess was more logical."Do you remember what your mother's sword looked like?" 

 

Wei Ying concentrated on his memory, thinking deeply he crossed his arms and swayed left and right. Then suddenly "Oh! Wuming you're the best!" He holds up Lan Wangji's light body in the air and goes back to work. He doesn't answer Lan Wangji's questions nor does he let him peek at his works. 

It takes him two more days to get the final design done. 

 

"Can I have a look now?" Lan Wangji asked.  Wei Ying rubs his nose before proudly showing his work. It was not a surprise that Wei Ying's drawing was eloquent. What was surprising was that, Wei Ying, his little Wei Ying, had made a vivid picture of Suibian. The sword Wei Ying had fought with him on the rooftop. The sword that Lan Wangji took care of for more than three decades.Lan Wangji tries not to be sentimental but he was close, "Good, very good, it's beautiful."he says.

"Isn't it!" Wei Ying exclaims. "It's a mixture of both mama and baba's sword" he points to the black noted scabbard "baba had a black sword and mama had a silver one" He then points to the hilts "Baba's one had purple design one it, I made it golden instead, like mama's one. Her design was hard so i chose baba's design" he waves his hand. "Black and golden, it'll look good right?" 

"It's very unique, it'll look very beautiful. What do you want to name it?" 

"The amazing sword of Wei Wuxian." Wei Ying declares without a beat. 

"Too long" 

"My Amazing sword?" 

"No" 

"Amazing sword?" 

Lan Wangji can guess where this is going. Lan Wangji decides he'll bother his uncle with this.  "Why don't you ask your uncle for a name?" 

 

Wei Ying did as he was told, he showed his work to Lan Qiren. He described how he got the inspiration, backstories and references. "Black is uncommon among Lan disciplines." Lan Qiren examines his work. He can't refuse Wei Ying's work only because it's uncommon. There is no rule that Lan disciplines can't wield a black scabbard sword. Wei Ying says the same to Lan Qiren and the older man can't help but give up arguing. When Wei Ying asks for a name Lan Qiren says " Dishang Shuang"  Wei Ying tilts his head, "Frost on the ground? Too long." 

Lan Qiren clicks his tongue, the name he picked was from a poem. Wei Ying was too young to understand the depth.

" Shan yue" Lan Qiren says " Mountain moon, It matches Xichen's sowrd name." 

Wei Ying whines again, "Then people will think I copied him."

Lan Qiren frowns but starts thinking of another name, " yunjian, Among the clouds" he explains, "it's small and good" 

Wei Ying still pouts, not liking the name.  Lan Qiren suggested another name, then another, then another. One after one Lan Qiren suggested nine names and Wei Ying rejected all of them saying, "too hard to write", "can be easily mispronounced" "sounds weird". The ninth name hits Lan Qiren's patience when he grits his teeths angrily muttering "Name whatever you want." 

Lan Wangji knows what Wei Ying was thinking when he saw that mischievous  smirk. 

When all was said and done,The two children were pleased with their submitted work. It'll take three years to get their respective sword for now they'll have to continue practicing with normal ones. 

 

Notes:

Wei Ying's memory isn't bad,, or so i believe,,his brain just decides to forget things that hurt him.. like i think that,, as a child Wei Ying suppressed his parent's memories because madam Yu would say stuff about them,,, and Wei Ying decided it'd hurt less if he forgets about them... aslo of course meditation and food helped his memory,,

Red Lotus has a lot of meaning and symbolism,, sometimes it's associated with love passion some times with anger sometimes with... female genitals... there are more information in the internet, you can check out if you want.

"Two lotus of the same stalk" is a proverb that the Lan elder says as a joke... it roughly means to be soulmates, living in harmony till death does them apart.
I hope got the meaning right.

Chapter 11: Two baby bunnies, learning how to be strong

Notes:

please check the tags,, I forgot to add the Canon divergence tag :")
I plan to write this fic following the Canon story line, which is a vauge mixture of novel and drama... anyways, the war will happen eventually, the only difference is that Wei Ying is a Lan disciple.

 

this chapter is one of my personal favourites. hope you enjoy :)

In the fullness of time, Wei Ying mastered basic array formulation and talisman mechanism. "It's easy," Wei Ying had once said, twirling a brush in his fingers. It was easy for a grown cultivator. But for a six year old boy it wasn't supposed to be easy. He'd often skip his duties to go around the back mountains to use his arrays, sigils   and talismans to practice attacking on low level ghosts. 

 

Lan Wangji warned him a lot. It was dangerous to roam around the forest alone. Wei Ying would nonchalantly wave his hands saying "I'll be fine, I have my talisman ready. And besides, I have to get over my fear." 

 

Wei Ying was aware of his deep fear of blood. Fearing blood was going to be a big hindrance as a cultivator. A cultivator has to face blood and gour there was no other path. Lan Wangji was proud that Wei Ying was determined to be strong. But he also wishes he didn't have to face this alone. At least he can warn Wei Ying if something attacksAlong with Wei Ying, Lan Wangji also felt his core, qi flowing through meridians, resentful energy, killing intent and spiritual energy of nature.

 

One day, while roaming around, they found a dead bunny lying on the ground. It was most likely attacked by a predator. Lan Wangji's bunny-loving heart shattered when they checked its body. Snake bites, It was poisoned. There was no way to save it. He asked Wei Ying if he could bury it. Animal or human, every innocent being  deserved a proper burial. At his request, Wei Ying dug up a whole with a stick, and buried the bunny with Lan Wangji's instructions. 

 

"Don't be sad, Wuming." Wei Ying says even though he himself was holding back his tears.  Nearby they notice a snake figure slither away from the bush behind them. Wei Ying follows it without hesitation, ignoring Lan Wangji's warning.

 

Why doesn't this kid ever listen to me.

 

They found a big whole in the ground. "Don't go there, it might be that snake's den." Wei Ying does exactly that.  Warning him feels useless at this point. Fortunately, As he pokes a stick in the hole two small bunnies jump out of it.Wei Ying staggered backwards "Baby bunnies!" He exclaimed. Lan Wangji wanted to exclaim too. They might be offsprings of the bunny they just buried.Wei Ying jumps and catches them easily. "Be gentle, don't grab them tightly," Lan Wangji says. He still shivers at the memory of Wei Ying holding two bunnies by their ear. The maniac he was, and he had the audacity to complain why those bunnies didn't like him.

The bunnies here, were thin and weak, they were shivering with fear as Wei Ying held them roughly. "Pat them, gently, like this'' Lan Wangji wanted to demonstrate how to take care of a baby bunny, but alas his weird ghastly body goes past them. He can't even feel their soft fur. 

Wei Ying however,understood. He pets them as gently as he could. The scene reminded Lan Wangji of A-Yuan. The kid had squealed with joy as he noticed Lan Wangji's herd of fluffy bunnies. 

 

"Let's take them to Cloud recesses" Lan suggested. He had a soft spot for bunnies and he was not going to let two orphaned bunnies live alone in the jungle, full of predators.

"But pets are forbidden in Cloud recesses" Wei Ying says. 

"And you care about those meaningless  rules?" 

"Not really" Wei Ying grinned. He tucked the bunnies in his arms heading back to the Cloud recesses. 

*

 

Previously Lan Wangji took care of his bunnies behind the open area of Jingshi. Back then he was fifteen. He had learned how to take care of them from books. He even learned how to keep them hidden without uncle noticing. 

Now things were different. He can't take care of bunnies, Wei Ying was too young to take care of them all by himself. His room is big but not quite suitable to hide pets.Wei Ying directed towards Jingshi. Going anywhere else will get both himself and the bunnies in trouble. 

 

"Lan Zhan! look what I bought" he enters without knocking. They found Lan Zhan practicing calligraphy on his study table. Wei Ying frees the bunnies on the table.  Startled, He held one bunny softly before asking "Why are you so dirty?" 

Wei Ying's white robes were muddled with dirt. He describes the whole story to the other boy with exaggerated noise and gesture. "You went to the back mountain again? Wei Ying, it's dangerous." Lan Zhan says. Wei Ying pouts and mutters "You and Wuming are the same." He takes the bunny from Lan Zhan's hand "Do you want them or not" 

Shaking  his head, Lan Zhan says, "That's not the point."

"We have to feed them, they're so weak." 

They both look at the bunnies, completely still in a new environment. 

 

This is bad. Lan Wangji thinks. They're only kids, they can't take care of another living being. Baby bunnies are delicate and will die if not taken care of properly. 

 

"Wuming, what should we feed them?" 

 

Considering the look, these bunnies look like three weeks old. Milk, they need their mother for it. "Meadow grass, soft leaves of lettuce" He says. Lan Wangji instructed them to make a warm nest for them. Making a bedding with blankets and quilts as they left him alone in the Jingshi to watch over the babies while they hunted for food. Lan Wangji didn't understand Wei Ying's point. What can he do when they start jumping? his body will go past them.  

 

When they returned, they were accompanied by a very angry Lan Qiren and a very worried Lan Xichen. 

 

Of course they'd get caught. 

 

Lan Qiren looked at the bunnies, peacefully sleeping under the pile of blankets. Lan Wangji had a  faint hope that the sight of baby bunnies would melt Lan Qiren's heart. How can anyone resist something as cute as bunnies.

"Take them out, send them back" Lan Qiren sternly orders them. 

 

Tch.

 

Wei Ying whines "But Shufu"

 

"No buts, Come to the hall after sending them back" He glared at the kids. "Xichen, make sure they obey." He scoffed and marched back to the main ground. 

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan looked helplessly at their big brother. They made puppy eyes to which they knew Lan Xichen wouldn't resist.

"Why don't you show Shufu how cute they are, maybe he'll agree." Lan Xichen says nervously. Then with a mischievous smile he adds "You two go first I'll see what I can do"

Uncle shouldn't have trusted him with the duty, His douchebag of a brother. Lan Wangji loves him very much.

*

 

When the kids went to the sect leader's  workspace with a bunny in their hands, everyone was shocked as if they saw a ghost. As Lan Qiren noticed they brought the bunnies along with them his eyebrows twitched, regardless he stayed quite. Moreover he ignored the two kids wholly and continued writing whatever he was writing. 

 

"Shufu, they're helpless, let them stay here." Wei Ying broke the silence. Lan Qiren ignored him. Understanding, Wei Ying continued his dramatic helpless act.So he wailed,"They are so weak and fragile.They will shiver in the cold and die in the snow." 

Lan Zhan knelt before him, placing the bunny on his lap. "They've just lost their mother, like us." 

That must have hit Lan Qiren's accommodating heart because his brows finally relaxed. Sighing he said, "You know pets are forbidden, I can not break the rules." 

 

Wei Ying promptly sits near his low table, setting his bunny on the desk, he shouts,"Why are pets forbidden? They didn't do anything wrong." 

 

"Pets are forbidden, because you are imprisoning an animal from their natural habitat. Our ancestor, Great Lan An was a monk. He loved animals dearly, thus he disliked it when people imprisoned them, killed them and worse, ate them.Our clan follows his cultivational path, his given rules."

 

Wei Ying's eyes lit up, Lan Wangji believed he had already arranged a counter attack. "If loving animals is a rule, why aren't you letting us love it?" he asks. "We never said we are imprisoning them, They can run around the field of Cloud recesses. As good descendents of Lan An we should take care of helpless creatures, feed them and give them a safe home." He continues before Lan Qiren can say anything.

"Wei Ying is right, We will take care of them, Shufu'' Lan Zhan added later.

 

Lan Qiren rubbed his forehead to cease his pain from frowning too much. It made Lan Wangji snicker. Whatever the timeline was, he respected his uncle. But to see him getting a headache because of the two was truly a story to laugh at.  "You two can barely take care of yourselves" Lan Qiren says exasperatingly. "Especially you!" he points to Wei Ying "Your clothes are still muddied." 

 

"I'll help them" came a voice. To Lan Wangji it sounded as soothing as his elder brother in his early twenties. When they turned around they saw Lan Qingheng entering the hall with his eldest son. 

 

So that was his plan.

 

"Xichen told me what happened," Lan Qingheng says, sitting beside his younger brother. "I also heard what Wuxian just said.And I believe he is right."

Lan Qiren frowned more deeply at his brother. "You can take care of rabbits but not the sect." he accused. Lan Wangji wanted to roll his eyes. Those two responsibilities had a heaven and earth difference.  Has uncle gone mad? 

 

"Why aren't you growing your goatee back?" responded Lan Qingheng. "Are you afraid Wuxian will shave it off, like a certain someone." Lan Qingheng added through his teeth although he held a smiling face.

Flabbergasted, Lan Qiren sputtered incoherently, "I- You! Fine, do whatever you want." Then he glared at Lan Xichen "I'm never trusting you with these two ever again." 

 

*

 

It was decided they'll keep the rabbit on the open field near the back entrance of Cloud recesses. They listed things to buy, books to learn more about rabbit care and  woods to make a small hutch. Since Lan Qingheng didn't want to bother anyone with the nonsense he brought upon himself, he got ready to do it himself.

 

He asked Wei Ying and his sons for company.  That was his first time setting foot outside Cloud recesses after eleven years of so called scheduled meditation. Older disciples who knew him, bowed and asked if they could help. Despite being turned down they accompanied him down the mountain steps.

 

"Please be careful" The disciple bowed again. Lan Xichen, being more experienced with the town roads and nearby villages, led them to Caiyi town, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying followed him as the older man slowly walked behind them. The kids looked ecstatic in their joint outing.

While Lan Xichen was inquiring where to get animal caring books, Wei Ying caught Lan Zhan staring at a man carrying a toddler on his shoulder. Could it be that Lan Zhan also wanted to be carried like that. Lan Wangji never felt like that when he was a child. Then again, things were different now. Children seem to really enjoy riding their father's shoulder. A-Yuan loved it a lot. Though he was shy at first, he rarely admitted what he wanted. It was one of the few things he expressed with joy. Lan Wangji somehow could tell. Maybe it was his fatherly instinct that told him to carry his son on his shoulder, even if his son was denying it. Later in his life,his grandchildrens would deliberately climb up on his shoulder shouting 'forward' as if they were in a war,riding a horse like  a brave knight. 

 

"Qingheng-jun, Lan Zhan said he wants to be carried like that." Wei Ying shouted pointing towards the man. 

"Lies!" Lan Zhan responded with a red ear. "I did not say that" 

"But you want to, don't you?" 

Lan Zhan glared at Wei Ying in response. Though he looked very funny with his red flushed cheeks, He knew he can't lie, Lying is forbidden.

 

Lan Qingheng crouched and picked Lan Zhan out of the blue, placing him on his right shoulder. Lan Zhan held his father's head fearing he might fall. His father smiled softly at him then to Wei Ying, "Does Wuxian wants to be carried?''

 

Wei Ying waved his hands vaguely. Now it was his turn to blush. "No, I shouldn't, Qingheng-jun should carry his sons! not me." 

While Wei Ying was sputtering incoherent words , Lan Zhan declared "He wants." Promptly Lan Qingheng picked Wei Ying as well, placing him on his left shoulder. He held Wei Ying tightly as he wanted to get down. "Lan Zhan you're a meanie" Wei Ying whined once he gave up struggling. Lan Zhan smiled smugly. Lan Wangji was also content. He didn't want Wei Ying to feel left out. However it was Lan Xichen who looked like he was feeling left out. Lan Qingheng sighed, He extended his hands indicating the boy to come near. As he did, Lan Qingheng picked him up on his arm, settling him there. Lan Xichen blushed saying he was too old to be cradled like  that. "You're only ten." Lan Qingheng confronted him. 

 

Even while carrying three kids, Lan Qingheng walked with his back straight. It looked like the children's weight was nothing to him. "Qingheng-jun is so strong" Wei Ying awed.

Lan Qingheng huffed, "Only physically strong" 

"How else can you be strong?" Wei Ying asked. After a pause Lan Qingheng replied "Mentally, Emotionally, Spiritually" 

"How?" Wei Ying asked again.

Lan Qingheng didn't respond for a while. As if thinking of his answer he hummed. 

"A strong person is one who can move forward with less struggling. One who doesnt let the five poison of life take over him. Mere fear can't stop them, rules can't chain them, stereotypes don't shame them." He tilted his head up at the sky, continuing "They can speak up and stand out against all odds. They can accept what life gives them, they don't let the past failure stop their growth." He looks at Wei Ying as he listens to him intently "They can find happiness in the smallest matters. They have a good sense of right and wrong,they don't let resentment take over their heart. They know how to let out their anger where it should matter." He then looks at Lan Zhan "They can freely show their feelings, recognise their emotions, hide them when needed." Then to Lan Xichen "They're passionate, empathetic, and enjoy simple ways of life." Lan Qingheng breathes out through his nose. He has said a lot in one go. 

"Being strong is so hard," Wei Ying says, making Lan Qingheng laugh a little. "It is.Regardless,I hope you three grow up strong."

 

*

 

They built the hutch together with a few volunteering disciples. Something changed after that day. Disciples spoke to Qingheng-jun with personal interest. Lan Qiren didn't let Lan Xichen watch over Wei Ying. He still fought with his brother for getting back to work, though it was not out of anger. Lan Zhan opened up day by day. The cold shell he was wrapping himself around began to disappear. He smiled more often, even giggled when one rabbit peed on Wei Ying.Some other disciples and kids would visit them to take a look at the new addition in their sect.

 

Small changes made its way through the Lan clan. The rule 'no pets are allowed' turned into 'pets are allowed under strict circumstances'. Still they were allowed. No matter how small and trivial those changes were to outsiders, to the people of Cloud recesses they held a lot of significance.

 

Wei Ying living in Cloud recesses wasn't a bad idea . 

 

Chapter 12: Once upon a time, there was a sunshine boy among the clouds

Summary:

Wei Ying, Wei Ying, my sweet summer child.

Notes:

I've been giggling while I wrote this. Hope you enjoy as well. Always greatfull for your kudos and comments.

When Wei Ying was eight years old Lan Qingheng announced his continuation to the cultivational world.  Although he'd ask Lan Qiren to attend any discussion conference for him. Saying he was yet not ready to face politics. 

 

Meanwhile, Wei Ying's core grew stronger unimaginably. Unimaginable to the whole cultivational world. By this time his agility was far better than a junior cultivator. His attacks and defense could be compared to an experienced cultivator. Yet his only rival was his dear friend, Lan Zhan. The boy who has mastered the silencing spell would often use it on Wei Ying out of spite.

 

Wei Ying joined music lessons, visual art lessons, medicine and archery. Lan Wangji was not surprised when he excelled at all of them.He was called the 'prized-ward-of-Lan-Qiren' by teachers and disciplines in Cloud recesses. 

 

People outside Cloud recesses would recognize him by his outstanding red ribbon, Out of Wei Ying's childish request They called him the 'Red-lotus'. 

 

As he got older and braver, he'd often go down to visit nearby towns and villages of Gusu. He helped common people by giving them talismans, to ward off evil, for free. Help them with their carts, carry loads, and fix roofs.  Sometimes they'd offer a meal at their house. Wei Ying loved eating outside Cloud recesses. By that time he was sick of the bland food. He didn't hate it like the one Lan Wangji once knew. 

 

The ladies would call him the 'shameless-Lan-Disciple' as he'd often praise them with flowery words. No one in Gusu has ever faced a Lan discipline who'd so casually call them 'pretty' even when they are wearing ragged clothes with a muddied face. 

"Pretty jiejie must be called pretty jiejie" Wei Ying would say. Out of adoration, the vendor ladies would offer him fruits or snacks or whatever they were selling when he was out of his monthly pocket money. 

 

The female disciples also called him the same as Wei Ying often sneaked into their gardens to steal flowers. They'd catch the flower thief asking why he was stealing flowers as harming the plants unnecessarily  was forbidden.

 "A flower as pretty as this deserves to be tucked on a pretty person's hair, I'm not plucking it unnecessarily."  he'd say.

When asked if this so-called pretty person was among the female disciples, Wei Ying would smugly shake his head. When they asked  who this so-called pretty person was, Wei Ying would instantly say ''Lan Zhan, The second jade of Lan of course." 

 

He liked to tease Lan Zhan by giving him those stolen flowers or tucking them in his hair. "He makes a funny face when I do it!" Wei Ying exclaimed. Lan Zhan do makes a funny face whenever Wei Ying does something overly flirtatious. It was funny from a second person's perspective, but personally Lan Wangji knew how frustrated his child self must be. 

 

Wei Ying's teasing knew no bounds.

He created the spell of paperman  just to annoy him. Though, when Lan Qiren knew about it he examined the spell and forbade him to use it any further. As wonderful as it was, there were many failings and if not used properly it could harm the user. His creation was turned down pretty harshly and he sulked for three days. Even then Wei Ying didn't stop. At times when they were not together, mostly at night, Wei Ying would send his small paperman to the Jingshi. To tinker with Lan Zhan's stuff or to disturb him from his peace. 

 

He was also known as the 'questioner' among the teachers of the Lan sect. There was no class where Wei Ying hadn't asked a question. 'Why should we do this', 'why does this happen', 'why can't we do this instead of that' , 'What if this happens instead of that', 'Can I not do it like this' and many questions that made the teachers speechless. They tried to answer his questions as best as possible. 'I will look through this topic' or 'Ask Master Qiren' were the most common responses. Lan Qiren acted as if he was annoyed at Wei Ying's peculiar questions yet he'd go to the library with Wei Ying and find an answer together. 

 

Though young his mind was full of ideas.

Every now and then he'd get worked up to create new spells or tools. He'd stay awake till late night to work on them. However he was still too young to create something extremely new, without anyone's help. And he refused to ask for help. Which is why his tools would break, spells would backfire or explode causing havoc in the disciples dorm. It happened so often that his seniors would look at him with a tired look and ask "What did you do this time?."

Wei Ying sulked everytime he failed. Lan Wangji condole him with encouraging words. "Wei Ying is a genius", "Don't lose hope",  "You don't have to be a perfectionist", "You will do better soon" and traditional idioms like "Failure is the mother of success", "We learn from our mistakes" and so-so. That would gain thirty percent success. The rest was up to Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan gave up wanting to help Wei Ying with his inventions. Because Wei Ying wanted to surprise him, he wouldn't even say what he wanted to invent. Thus Lan Zhan patiently waited for him until he was sulking again. When it occurs to him, He would drag him in the training field or their personal hide-out near the back mountain,  saying, "Enough sulking, warm up". They dueled in a sword fight, or hand to hand combat, running and sometimes competed with their archery skills. That would often cheer up Wei Ying. If not, Lan Zhan would take him to Caiyi, buy him his favorite food. All Lan Zhan had to say "Wei Ying will get it right eventually." and that did the trick. Later Wei Ying would vent about his little failures and mistakes and promise to do better next time. Lan Wangji feels a little bitter how a little encouragement from Lan Zhan would fire up Wei Ying, where Lan Wangji had to present a whole essay. They're the same person, just in different bodies. A different inhuman body.

 

Lan Zhan on the other hand was not as stuck up as Lan Wangji once had been. He smiles more often, maybe not as wide as Wei Ying or Lan Xichen, but his smiles were there. He talks a lot more than Lan Wangji did in his whole life. His moods are worse than Lan Wangji. He fights and gets mad at Wei Ying more, giving him the silent treatment. It doesn't last long before Wei Ying does something funny or jumps at him with tickle attacks. Their every fight ends with laughter, making their bond stronger than before. Wholly contrary to how his and his Wei Ying's relationship worsen. 

They're much much better friends than Lan Wangji ever imagined. It was good, Lan Wangji thought, they make a nice pair. 

 

Triad would be a better word, as Lan Xichen joined their shenanigans more after Lan Qingheng got back to his sect leader duties. "I feel so light, like a heavy load has disappeared from my head." He once shouted. He ought to be a sect leader by the age of fifteen. But now his father was there, doing his duties, he was free. 

 

As the older one, he ought to be more responsible. 

 

Ass.

 

He was not as responsible as he looked like. He'd encourage Wei Ying's impromptu ideas  getting the three in trouble. Wei Ying once said "I wonder how bad pineapple with milk will be" and instead of stopping him Lan Xichen said "You'll never know until you try." Luckily it didn't result in a big chaos like his brother had anticipated. He even had the audacity to click his tongue when Wei Ying confirmed the rumors were fake.

Then once the two thought they should try cooking, which resulted in a half burnt kitchen covered with flour and chili powder. And the food they made was way too spicy for anyone to eat. They were punished and banished to even step in the proximity of the kitchen for the rest of their lives. Poor Lan Zhan had to get punished for not stopping them.

Then once when Lan Qiren assigned him and his friends to teach the kids of Wei Ying's age swimming, it was a disaster. What made uncle trust Lan Xichen with the kids? That boy threw Wei Ying in the lake like a rag doll. If not for the floating planks Wei Ying could have drowned. Moreover, Wei Ying asked to be thrown again loudly shouting how fun that was. 

If Wei Ying doesn't kill himself he's sure Lan Xichen will. 

Lan Xichen also terrified the two kids sharing his over exaggerated first night hunt experience with made up stories. "The villager plucked out his eye and gave it to me as a gift." he said, pretending to be disgusted. "That dead ghost could take human form after killing them. They can be roaming around Cloud recesses and you won't even know." he mourned.  "It can be anyone, it can be Laoshi, Shufu or even me" Causing the childrens to run out of panic. He thought it was funny until Wei Ying stuck an evil warding talisman on almost everyone in Cloud recesses. 

 

Uncle got angry when Wei Ying stuck a talisman on him. When Wei Ying described what he was doing was for the greater good he got punished with helping to make more emergency talisman for other cultivators. "Since you like making talismans so much, why not help me out with it." 

Lan Xichen was punished with copying rules as well.

 

By that time uncle was growing back his goatee and mustache. His facial hair grew very slowly, so Wei Ying once stated "You look like those street thugs from Caiyi town who bullies girls." Causing Lan Xichen and Lan Qingheng to snicker, Lan Zhan somehow managed to bite back his smile. 

"It'll look good when it grows longer" Uncle gulped down his anger. It wasn't enough to convince Wei Ying. He continuously criticized uncle's look, saying he looked ugly with them. "If you don't shave them, I will!" Wei Ying challenged him openly. "Wei Wuxian! Don't you dare" Uncle raised his voice as well. Since then Wei Ying committed himself to finding a chance to get Uncle off guard and attack his poor facial hair. And since then uncle hasn't dropped his guard, always being alert whenever Wei Ying was near. 

No, Lan Wangji did not tell him off for this. Even if he did, Wei Ying wouldn't listen. Lan Wangji even enjoyed watching his uncle, who in another life hated the kid, Care for him deeply. After everything uncle didn't show his affection,he acted like he was annoyed and didn't care. But his not so deep frown would give him off. He was in fact proud of Wei Ying's achievements and success. 

 

Having said that, Wei Ying's accomplishment didn't mean he matured. Despite everything, Wei Ying was a child. 

He jumped around all Gusu, climbed all the mountains of Cloud recesses, No tree was left untouched by him. He knows where to find a chestnut tree, where to find herbs. He knows where there was a Orioles nest, where there was a fox den. He rescued more weak injured bunnies, keeping the ones that were too young to stay alone, letting go of the older ones. He was a regular visitor in the infirmary, sometimes he'd fake a fall to get free ginger candies. His visit to the library was more than regular. Be it for punishment or for personal interest. The disciples who were in charge of taking care of the library feared him whenever he went there to look for information. The second he entered the library was the second when a storm came in. Wei Ying would take down more than fifteen books at once. If those didn't help he'd collect more scrolls and scripts. People would find him under a big pile of papers and scrolls. He helped the disciples to put them back but that didn't mean the disciples were pleased with his kindness. 

 

Throughout the time, while playing, he fell in the streams more than ten times, ripped about four or five curtains, and broke two of Lan Qiren's antique tea cup sets and dented uncountable furniture here and there. Some joked that it was a miracle he didn't accidentally burn down the place. It was not a funny joke to Lan Wangji.

 

*

 

Next year, after the snow melted and nature turned green again, Wei Ying and Lan Zhan got their spiritual swords. Lan Zhan, as expected, named his sword Bichen with the same design. Suibian turned out to be exactly what Lan Wangji had wished for. They showed each other their swords, a little too big for their small bodies. Wei Ying liked the name Bichen and its square shaped cloud design on the hilt. When Wei Ying said his sword name was Suibian he expected Lan Zhan to raise a brow and ask again like Lan Wangji had in his life. 

"You named your sword Suibian?" Lan Zhan said instead. Wei Ying asked how he knew that was the name and he didn't disrespect the spirit. 

"I had doubt you'd name something stupid" he answered, surprisingly smug about it.

Lan Xichen gave a tassale to each of them. Blue for Lan Zhan and red for Wei Ying. He had thought Wei Ying would get himself a red sword, considering his obsession with red, so he bought a red tassel to match. His black scabbard and red tassel stood out in his white robes. Not that he minded the attention. 

 

They started their flying training as soon as they got permission. Lan Qiren gave the job to Lan Zirui and one of Lan sect sword master Feng Qin Since they were better at communicating with kids.

 

"Don't rush, take it slow. Don't feel dejected,  you won't learn this in a day." He said as the kids put all their force and concentration on the sword.

Wei Ying's sword hovered a little from the ground. "It flew!" Wei Ying shouted. As soon as he lost concentration the sword flew higher in the sky with imanese speed. For a moment everyone was staring at the blank space where Wei Ying was. It felt like some divine power just pulled him to the sky out of nowhere. 

 

"Wei Ying" Lan Zhan shouted to the sky. It brought their teacher back to reality. Lan Wangji was watching the scene from a tree branch nearby. Trying to understand what just happened and was happening. Wei Ying was flying aimlessly in the sky like a headless fly, screaming on top of his lungs. Lan Wangji could hear Lan Qiren shouting the rules telling Wei Ying to stop shouting. Lan Zirui and Sword master Feng Qin bickered while trying to catch Wei Ying.

 "Why didn't you hold him while he was flying" 

"I didn't thought he could fly at his first try" 

 

Lan Wangji wanted to pinch his inhuman nose. How did they become teachers?

 

"Wei Ying let go of your sword" Lan Wangji shouts in mid air.

 

As instructed, Wei Ying let goes, making his sword fly to the left and him falling down. Luckily Lan Zirui held him as soon as he was about to hit a tree. 

 

Later the story of Wei Ying's flying and shouting aimlessly and Lan Qiren shouting at him to stop became the new topic to gossip about in the disciples dorm. Lan Wangji isn't surprised anymore with the gossip. Everyone was inclined to gossip and Lan Wangji was the only one who followed that rule so rigidly. Here in the dorms most of the gossip centered about Wei Ying and his byplays. Wei Ying doesn't mind the attention. 

 

*

 

"Flying was scary but it's fun.'' Wei Ying said in his bed, his sword rested beside him. It was past his bedtime, even when he was on his bed, sleep wouldn't bless him. His body and mind were too excited to sleep. On days like this he'd talk with Lan Wangji until he was tired. Sometimes he'd ask Lan Wangji to tell him a bedtime story. Luckily Lan Wangji read many bedtime stories to his grandchildren. He tells him all the tales knows. 

 

"Now I can have a flying competition with you, let's see who is faster."

"Learn to control first"Lan Wangji says knowing he'll lose to Wei Ying anyway. 

 

It took Wei Ying only two weeks to learn to control his sword. He can fly with great speed without falling or going off balanced. However couldn't lower his speed easily. Lan Zhan was the opposite in that case. He always progressed slowly and steadily. He couldn't catch up to Wei Ying's speed, nor did Wei Ying catch up to his steadfastness. They had yet to master many forms and they were very eager to learn.

 

Wei Ying enjoyed flying, he enjoyed sword fighting. He loved his sword, In both his previous and present life. Still, After the war Lan Wangji never saw his Wei Ying carry his sword, let alone use it. Even though making assumptions were forbidden he assumed many possibilities that caused Wei Ying to abond his sword. He assumed that Wei Ying was sick of bloodshed, as he was kind, he didn't want to fight anybody. He assumed that Wei Ying belived his new unorthodox path was a stronger and better way to fight. Lastly, with all heavy heart and pain, he assumed Wei Ying had lost his core during the fall of Lotus pier. But his heart denied all of those assumptions. He couldn't accept his logical mind. Whatever the reason was, it was never a sweet one to hear.

 

If there's a war in this timeline, Lan Wangji will make sure to protect Wei Ying from any misfortune. He'll be there for Wei Ying.

Notes:

This is the best childhood I can imagine of.
Really hope that it's not getting boring. There is a plot but it'll take a lot of time to get there..

Chapter 13: To experience hate, admiration and love

Notes:

If you think I should add certain tags, please let me know.

 

As time passed by, a new batch of disciplines were welcomed in the Lan sect. Most of the disciples were the same age as Wei Ying. Which meant he was not the youngest disciple in the dorm anymore. He befriended them all on the first day. All expect that one Lan Wangji can't help but hate, Su she. 

Su she's behavior towards Wei Ying fuels his hatred more. Even when Wei Ying tried to introduce himself, Su she acted like he'd be anywhere but there. He sneered saying "Who doesn't know the prized ward of Lan Qiren. Don't act like you're so good because he took you in." 

"But I only asked your name." being all confused, Wei Ying responded. 

"Why'd you want to know my name? to complain to old master Lan Qiren?" Su she shouted. 

 

Lan Wangji wished he had the authority to expel Su she. It was only day one and he had started breaking many rules. In his life Su she pushed Wei Ying in danger two times, betrayed his own clan, established his own clan while copying everything from Gusu Lan clan.Jingyi always got into fighting with him and his disciples. He was also the only one to call out Su she's misconduct. Even when the boy knew he'll get punished for his act, he had the guts to nastily argue with a Clan leader. Though it was fruitless, Su she was always backed up by the Jin disciples,mostly Jin Guangyao. 

 

"Wei Ying, leave him alone, don't bother befriending him." He advised Wei Ying something he'd do. Not bother with bothersome people. Ignore their meaningless arguments. Ruefully, Wei Ying wasn't like him. He'd counter back if he was being falsely accused, much less by someone his age. Something that Lan Wangji admired, something that drived Wei Ying to his downfall. 

"If you keep breaking rules like this, I'm afraid I'll have to." Wei Ying declared solemnly. He raised his fingers one by one saying "Do not sneer at people, Do not make an uproar, Do not sow discord, Be respectful to your elders, Arrogance is prohibited, Be generous, Do not be unreasonable" He held out seven fingers. "You've broken these rules." Everyone was bewildered by Wei Ying's disciplinary. Su she stuttered accusing Wei Ying more "You can't discipline me,You're not the head disciple." 

 

"He's not, But I am." The head disciple, Lan Yunshi said, placing a hand on Su she's shoulder. "I saw you misbehaving. Misbehaviours must be corrected. I'll forgive you for today." Saying so he ordered the disciples to get back to their respective rooms and duties. "Wuxian, be careful" he warned when they were alone in the hall. "From now on you'll have hateful eyes on you, any missteps can cause you big trouble." He patted Wei Ying's head before going.

 

It's not like Wei Ying hadn't had hateful eyes on him. And Wei Ying was aware of the situation too. Although he was everyone's favorite shidi, Lan Wangji noticed envious eyes. Some of his seniors didn't like how fast Wei Ying was growing, how easily he could defeat them. Regardless, no one had the guts to accuse Wei Ying like today. This was going to be troublesome.

*

 

Wei Ying disciplined himself like Lan Zhan did. Just in one night he'd changed so much. He walked fast but didn't run, He talked loudly but didn't shout, He wasn't picky with his food nor did he whine. He didn't act proud when he solved a problem or boasted his hard work. He spoke megarely, moved with grace, his words were full of respect be it his seniors or juniors. He was more diligent, ethical, moral, humble,courteous than he was before. Just as one would expect from a Lan discipline. 

 

It was suspicious to those who knew him well. However they didn't call him out for this. Lan Qiren frowned every time he met Wei Ying in his class, sitting upright, being obident and all silent, not even making stupid questions. Lan Xichen asked if he was sick during their training, giving him concerned looks. Their worries were valid. Lan Wangji knew it was nothing to be worried about. Because he saw Wei Ying behind the closed door. When there's no one's eye on him, he'd be himself. He'd whine to him, he'd complain about food, He'd roll on the floor. 

Lan Wangji carefully pinched his cheeks saying, "You don't have to change yourself for others." 

"I know" Wei Ying whined rolling on the floor. "I just don't want anyone to think I'm not good enough to be Lan Qiren's ward." 

 

Is that what Wei Ying was worried about? "You're great, whether you obey the rules or not. You are more than Lan Qiren could ask for." 

Wei Ying stayed quiet. "I don't want to trouble Shufu" He mubbled after a pause, "I don't want Shufu to hate me." 

 

Lan Wangji knows he shouldn't find it funny, but he does. In another time Wei Ying could care less about Lan Qiren's approval. Rather he'd enjoy making Lan Qiren's blood boil. But times are different now. No matter how harsh Lan Qiren's disciplinary was, he has filial respect towards Lan Qiren. Maybe he had the same respect towards the Jiang family, even when they treated him poorly.

 

Lan Wangji rests on Wei Ying's chest, feeling his heart beat in a slow rhythm. "Wei Ying, Shufu doesn't hate you for who you are now, he cares for you just the same he cares for his nephews." 

 

Wei Ying runs his little fingers through Lan Wangji's back, he likes that sensation very much. "What if he finds someone better than me, and disowns me" 

 

"Wei Ying!" he couldn't control the rage in his voice. Is that what Wei Ying always fears, is that why he always tries to be the best, all those late night studying only to prove uncle he's good?? 

 

"You're not a toy. You're not something one can buy and throw away when they want. Shufu took you in, out of his free will. He agreed to take care of you with out any benefits in return. You have nothing to prove" He breathes out through his nose. 

 

"But…" Wei Ying didn't sound convinced. 

 

"And who can be better than you? Wei Ying is so talented, hard-working, a genius" he tickles Wei Ying with his tail making Wei Ying giggle. He struggled to get out of Lan Wangji's tickle attacks all but in vain. "And you're so adorable, you have the cutest smile and you make everyone laugh. Shufu has to be crazy if he ever disowns you." 

 

Wei Ying huffed like Lan Qiren, holding him up in the air, his face flushed red after giggling so much. "Flattery is forbidden, if only they knew how much of a sweet talker you are!" 

"I only speak the truth." 

Wei Ying laughs a little, letting go of the depressing conversation. 

On the way to the dining hall Lan Zhan grabs him before the gates. He drags Wei Ying far from the hall, heading towards the Jingshi. "Lan Zhan? What is it? I'll be late for dinner. What happened?" Lan Zhan doesn't respond to him until they're inside the Jingshi. "Have dinner with me today." He says sitting beside the low table. There was a box sealed with a warming talisman. When he opens the box the aroma of spice and meat attracts Wei Ying's whole being. His stomach responded loudly before he could. "Lan Zhan is inviting me for dinner? what's the occasion." 

"No occasion," he says while serving, filling the bowls with food. He hands Wei Ying a pair of chopsticks saying "You haven't been to town for a month." 

 

Normally Wei Ying used to go to town on weekends. During his visit he'd try whatever food the waiter or common folks suggested. Since the incident with Su she, Wei Ying was too self aware of his actions to care about his wants. Lan Wangji was proud of his young self for noticing and taking proper action. Wei Ying had already stuffed food in his mouth. He didn't talk about anything like usual. This made Lan Zhan fidget more "Is someone bullying you." 

 

"Talking during meal time is punishable, Lan Zhan." Wei Ying pointed his chopsticks at him. Lan Zhan frown deepens as he said "You never cared about this rule, What happened to Wei Ying? 

"Maybe I want to care about the rules? It's not that weird." 

 

"Just tell him the truth." Lan Wangji says, knowing it's useless. There was this new theory Lan Wangji discovered. He supposes that whenever Wei Ying is too happy he fails to see him. Wei Ying can't feel his presence or hear what he's saying. Later he'd ask where he was and explain how happy he was. Since Lan Wangji's wish was to ensure Wei Ying's happiness. The occurrence is too weird, he's able to see Wei Ying happy but Wei Ying can't share the happy moment along with him. It was honestly a little cruel. But Lan Wangji didn't want to complain much. Knowing Wei Ying was happy is more than he can ask for. 

 

"Is it because of Su Minshan?" Lan Zhan asks after Wei Ying went silent again. Hearing the name Wei Ying abruptly stops. His hands hovered over the meat bowl. "I heard him talk ill about you, if you want I can complain about this." Lan Zhan adds.

 

Good job, please do. Lan Wangji thought in his heart. 

 

However Wei Ying laughed as if Lan Zhan said something extremely funny. "Eavesdropping is also forbidden, Lan-er-gongzi." he sing songs the name.

 

"Wasn't eavesdropping, he was being loud" averting his eyes, Lan Zhan said with a flush.Wei Ying laughed more saying "That's something I'd say! Lan Zhan!" Then "Honestly, Everything is fine now, Su she is not the problem. Well, not anymore. He can say whatever he wants." 

 

"Then, What is the problem?" Lan Zhan asks as he slowly starts eating. 

Wei Ying hummed before saying "I thought Shufu will get in trouble if I don't behave."

"Shufu is a grown man, he can take care of troubles. You don't have to change yourself for him. I don't like it." 

 

Lan Zhan was more open with his feelings, with what he liked and disliked. If only, Lan Wangji could be more like him, then maybe... 

But even saying that his ears blushed teareblily. Wei Ying's eyes glinted immediately. 

 

There they go again. 

"Oh, Lan-er-gongzi doesn't like it when I behave?" he wiggled his eyebrows and smirked. "He likes it when I'm breaking the rules and giving everyone a headache? Have I displeased him with my generosity?" 

"I didn't say those" 

Though Wei Ying was shaking with suppressed laughter he solemnly said, "Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, forgive this humble one, this one will not behave anymore." He bowed dramatically. "Mark your words Lan Zhan! I'll annoy you to death now and you can't say anything" 

Lan Zhan huffed with a little smile. He admitted his defeat by raising both his hands in the air "Just don't drive me to Qi deviation." 

Wei Ying falls in a feat of laughter. Lan Wangji is sure everyone on the Cloud recesses could hear him laugh. 

 

He's happy. 

 

They continued talking over the meal, about what they did and what failed to express during the day. It was nice to see the domesticity of the two boys. Lan Zhan was more willing to break certain rules such as this one. He wasn't scared or ashamed of the punishment. He willingly accepted punishment when It was given.

 

"Have you finished your homework?" Lan Zhan asked after dinner. Wei Ying immediately remembered they had homework.  "I'll just finish it before bed." 

Hearing this, Lan Zhan's expression deflates a little. He was expecting something. "oh" Lan Zhan said, collecting the clutter "I was...thinking you could sleep over, we could talk more." He continued. 

 

"Oh" Wei Ying responded while rubbing the tip of  his nose. "yeah we haven't talked like this for a long a while." Lan Wangji rolled his eyes, it wasn't even that long, only two weeks. Slowly Wei Ying made his way towards the bed. "You're homework?" Lan Zhan asked when Wei Ying started peeling off his outer robe. "I can do it in the morning, before class starts." Lan Zhan huffed before going out.  "Sleep wear is in the second drawer." 

They slept together, side by side, talking about anything and everything in general,  like it was simple to do so. Lan Zhan still had only one pillow, they shared the pillow with no hesitation. It'd be a lie if Lan Wangji said he wasn't envious of them. Regardless he was content with Wei Ying's happiness and proud of how his younger self could voice himself. He only hopes this doesn't affect their friendship in future.

 

"I was thinking if fuqin would want to spar with us." Lan Zhan said at one point of their drowsy conversation.

"That would be great! Lan Zhan! I heard he is the best swordsman of his generation. And that, he could ascend to immortality. Did you ask him?"

Lan Zhan fidgeted as an answer. Wei Ying scowled like uncle, the disappointed scowl. "Don't tell me you're too shy to ask." 

"Not shy, only uncomfortable." 

"Eh, shy boy," Wei Ying teased and pressed Lan Zhan's nose, what Jingyi called 'booping'. "Fine I'll do it"

"Mn" 

"Seriously, what would you do without me." 

 

Nothing Lan Wangji thought. He'd do nothing in his life. Only obey uncle, follow the rules, seek praise through being strict on himself. 

 

*

 

After finishing homework with rapid speed Wei Ying fetched Lan Zhan to go to the rabbit field. Lan Qingheng was supposed to feed the rabbits early morning.  Two other disciples helped him with the task. There were more rabbits now. Not as much as Lan Wangji had in his lifetime, which was too many. Wei Ying asked for a spar as soon as he appeared there. 

"You want to spar with me?" 

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan nodded.

"Will that be safe, I'm rusty." 

Wei Ying shook his head furiously.  "Qingheng-jun is the greatest swordsman. We will be blessed forever If we get a chance to spar with you." Lan Zhan nodded with him.

Lan Qingheng huffed, shaking his head. "Flattery is forbidden, I see why people call you shameless." 

"What I said was nothing but the truth." Wei Ying responded with glee. 

The man agreed to spar, they fixed a date and time. 

 

On the day of sparing almost everyone gathered in the training field. They circled around to see the infamous Lan sect leader unsheathing his sword for the first in a long time. Lan Xichen joined their team as soon as he got the news. Three against one sounded unfair except the three combined was nothing near the one. 

 

As soon as the sword master announced "Fight" the three boys jumped on the man in union. Lan Qingheng on the other hand didn't even move let alone attack back. He only defended himself, occasionally shoving back whoever attacked him. Even when three swords came flying from three  different corners and three boys from other three corners he countered them altogether with ease. 

 

The spar ended with two panting young boys falling on their knees, one young boy named Wei Ying, laid on the ground and one tall man standing upright enjoying the fresh air, not even beating a sweat. 

 

"Oh god that was fun!"  Wei Ying shouted while the crowd of disciples clapped and cheered. 

 

Lan Qiren entered the field telling Wei Ying how disgracefully he was lying on the ground. "We have a guest that wants to see you." Lan Qiren said once Wei Ying stood up dusting his robes. A young teen peeked from Lan Qiren's shoulders. He smiled and waved brightly at Wei Ying. 

On full view Lan Wangji noticed the young teen was no more than eighteen. He was dressed in all white along with his sword that hung on his back. His eyes shone brightly as Wei Ying waved back. 

 

"He's Baoshan Sanren's pupil, your shishu" Lan Qiren introduced. 

Wei Ying's shishu, That means.. The famous Bright moon and gentle breeze, Xiao Xingchen. Lan Wangji had always wanted to meet the legend if not for his sudden disappearance from the cultivational world. 

"This humble one is named Xiao Xingchen, it's a pleasure to meet my shijie's son, Thankyou Grandmaster, for this opportunity." He clasped his hands together and bowed with a grace that only the Lans were famous for. His voice was gentle and soothing. Truly worthy of his name. Behind him came another young man of the same age. His clothing was the opposite of Xiao Xingchen. Cladded in black with a horse tail whisk on his arm,a sword hung behind his back. Alongside Xiao Xingchen he could be none but his cultivational partner, Distant snow and cold forst, Song Zichen. Song Zichen bowed to them silently. As far as he knows the Song Zichen also broke ties with the cultivational world after his partner's disappearance. He roamed around for a while before joining his partner. Rumors make their dedicated friendship a sentimental story. Lan Wangji envied them, their friendship and dedication to each other. Often he saw himself and Wei Ying on them. One in white one in black, traveling through the world, forgetting all worldly concerns. Just another one of his many  dreams that never saw the light of the day.

"I heard a new immortal's discipline has appeared in the cultivational, so I checked out." Lan Qiren continued. It was very generous of uncle to go all the way, collecting information and inviting them only to meet Wei Ying. Wei Ying was still in a confused daze as to what was happening. Lan Qiren led the two cultivators to the guest room, ordering Wei Ying to be more presentable and meet them later. 

 

If Lan Wangji felt like Song Zichen made eye contact with him, he'll ignore it. It must have been a fluke. 

 

Eye contact wasn't a fluke. Song Zichen was staring at him intensely as soon as they entered the guest room. Wei Ying sat beside Lan Qiren earning an awed look from Xiao Xingchen. 

"It'd be our honor if you could stay here for a while, sharing your knowledge with our children." Lan Qiren said as Xiao Xingchen   poured tea in their cups. 

"It'd be my honor as well," Xiao Xingchen responded. Patting Wei Ying's head he said "I'd love to share everything I know." 

 

Throughout their conversation Lan Wangji caught Song Zichen staring at him continuously. It's rude, aslo creepy. But not as weird when he knows no one can see him. Does this have anything to do with his cultivation, he's from a religious sect, can they see half spiritual beings like him. By that time Lan Qiren left Wei Ying to his shishu to talk. 

 

"How are you?" Xiao Xingchen asked Wei Ying as soon as Lan Qiren left. 

 

"I-This one is well, Thankyou for your concern." Wei Ying replied with politeness. Watching his polite mannerism Xiao Xingchen laughed before saying, "You don't have to be so polite with me Xian-er, I'm like your family." 

Wei Ying smiles hearing his shishu calling him 'Xian-er' so fondly. "Shishu, You're mama's martial brother? Can you tell me more about her?" Wei Ying asks with hope briming his eyes. Wei Ying had always   been curious to know anything about his parents. Any little information makes him teary eyed. Although he could ask Lan Qiren about his mother, he was aware of the underlying remorse."I don't want Shufu to be sad." Wei Ying once told him. He sacrificed his curiosity for Uncle's comfort.

 

Wei Ying didn't like it wherever anyone made a mourning face, he hated how their eyes would go dull, how the corner of their lips would go downwards. Which was exactly what Xiao Xingchen had done. He sighed melancholy and hummed. "I was a child when shijie left the mountains, I don't have a lot of memories with her." 

 

"oh," Wei Ying responded. "It's fine." He faked a smile. 

Xiao Xingchen chuckled pinching Wei Ying's cheeks "Already learned to pretend happy? Like mother, like son." 

 

Xiao Xingchen sat uptight, clapping his hands. " Your mother was just like you, you know." Hearing so, Wei Ying buoyed up. He sat closer to hear stories of his mother. Xiao Xingchen shared whatever stories he had, how his Shijie always smiled and laughed, how kind She was, how she'd cheer him up whenever he was hurt or sad, how she taught him to climb trees, How strong she was, how she boasted her skills and how she was bad at cooking. Just like Wei Ying she smiled through her hardship. Never let anyone help her. How Baoshan Sanren would get angry at her. 

 

"-Then, Master told her if she wanted to get stronger, she had to accept herself with how she was, I don't remember but she got frustrated after that." 

"And then?"

"And then, Master suggested that she needs to clear her head, leaving the mountains can be a start." 

"Then she left?" 

Xiao Xingchen tapped Wei Ying's nose before saying "And then she left the mountains, fell in love with your father, and then they had you." 

 

Wei Ying, sprawled on Xiao Xingchen's lap, smiled fondly, widely, his eyes were glassy with the tears he was holding back but Lan Wangji knew he was happy.  

"Thankyou, Shishu." 

Lan Wangji rubbed his face on Wei Ying's cheeks reminding him he's not alone. 

 

"Can I ask something?" Song Zichen opened his mouth for the first time. "What is this creature on your shoulder?" he pointed directly at Lan Wangji. Just what he had guessed. Song Zichen could see him. 

"Eh? What creature? Xiao Xingchen asked, meaning he couldn't see him. 

"You can see Wuming?" Wei Ying exclaimed. "Wuming! he can see you!" he shouted just beside his ears. 

 

yes! I know he can see me, but why? 

 

"What Wuming? Why can't I see him?" Xiao Xingchen asked even more confused now. 

Wei Ying described how he found Lan Wangji, what Lan Wangji said to him, how no one can see Lan Wangji except him. 

 

"Wow, Is that really possible? to send a guardian angel?" Xiao Xingchen asked Song Zichen. "I'm not aware of such an incident," said Song Zichen.  "A lot of weird things have happened this past few years, so I can't deny it." He continues only to get a tongue click from the other cultivator. 

What weird things? Lan Wangji isn't aware of anything being weird.

 

"All dreams are weird Song Zichen, don't worry about that." 

"What dream?" Wei Ying asked out of curiosity. 

Xiao Xingchen giggled, waving his hands he said, "Before meeting me, he had a dream that I was killed and there was a lot of murder, it's just a dream, no, a nightmare" he pats Song Zichen's shoulder "don't worry, night mares are just night mares." Though Song Zichen nodded he didn't look convinced.

They agreed to keep Lan Wangji's existence a secret, it wasn't really a secret with Wei Ying's big mouth, one just didn't believe him.

Notes:

Su she has joined the chat!
Wei Ying will make his stay in Cloud recesses a living hell! Show off your skills! he suffered inferiority complex? even when Lan Wangji was minding his business? Wei Ying will give him enough reason to be inferior. Hah!

So well, Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen also joined the chat... Well, in the novel it was said that Xiao Xingchen left the mountains after Wei Wuxian's death, but in the drama it was different. So let's just think that, Xiao Xingchen left the mountains early but Jiang Fengmian didn't introduced him to his Shijie's son. And in this AU, they are introduced to each other... And for reasons Song Zichen finds Xiao Xingchen immediately after knowing he has arrived... and then just followed him around.... hope it makes sense.
Enjoy~

Chapter 14: Crane's first flight

Notes:

Warning!!! Contains homophobia at the very end.... not very graphic explanations here,, just some jealous kiddos, I am adding the homophobia tag for this. In future chapter there will be something like this too. Like, not all "You cutsleeves should die" but more like "You're a cutsleeve?!?! why???" type of, well I hope it's a clear warning

Lan Wangji went to Song Zichen's room after Wei Ying fell asleep. Luckily he hadn't fallen asleep yet. Lan Wangji flew near him where he was polishing his sword. "Is something wrong?" Song Zichen asked, setting aside his sword. 

"I wanted to discuss how you are able to see me." Lan Wangji sat on the table. It's awkward talking to anyone other than Wei Ying after so long, especially in this form. Song Zichen looked exhausted, after a pause he said "Will you believe me if I say I'm from a different world?" Lan Wangji nodded. "Well, you see, I'm not sure why I can see you but I believe it has something to do with my condition." 

 

Was he and Song Zichen from the same timeline? 

 

When asked what his condition was, he slowly explained how his world was different from this world. In his world or what Xiao Xingchen called a nightmare, he was killed. His meeting with Xiao Xingchen was different, though every other event seems to be the same except he knew that Wei Ying was a Jiang disciple. 

 

He talked about the sun shot campaign. The siege that killed Wei Ying, How Xiao Xingchen cried after learning of his relation with Wei Ying. Their traveling together, encounter with Xue Yang,  his sect getting massacred, him losing his eyesight, how Xiao Xingchen had given up his own eyes for him. His anger, their departure, his regret then seeking for Xiao Xingchen again. 

 

Lan Wangji was aware of the massacre and poisoning but not the fall of their relationship. Didn't they leave the cultivational world together? to seek peace? 

Lan Wangji felt ashamed for believing false baseless rumors. He ought to be better than this.

 

"Then in Yi city, I meet Xue Yang again." Song Zichen continued. 

 

Was Xue Yang not executed? Lan Wangji thought to himself. Jin Guanyao had executed him after becoming the Sect leader, his brother was there during the execution. 

 

"He was supposed to die, but somehow Xiao Xingchen found him half dead, and took care of him years after years without any question." 

 

Are all Baoshan Sanren's descendants so freely self-sacrificing? Kind for no reason? 

 

Song Zichen told him how Xue Yang poisoned him again after emotional manipulation. How he was killed by his partner. How Xue Yang followed Wei Ying's demonic cultivation, controlling him like a fierce corpse. 

 

"I don't remember anything after being in his control." he exhaled a lungful of air. "All I remember wishing for a second chance, to mend my mistakes, to always be beside Xiao Xingchen." 

 

So their wishes were the same, maybe that's why…

 

"He's too kind for his own good." Song Zichen huffed with fondness Lan Wangji relates to. 

"Then, four or five years ago I suddenly woke up in my young body, in my old sect." 

That was the same time Lan Wangji had met Wei Ying. There has to be a connection in their time traveling. It's a big puzzle Lan Wangji has to solve. If Song Zichen could wake up in his own body, why didn't Lan Wangji? Why was he given a different body? He couldn't help the bitterness in his tounge. 

 

"Young master seems to have the same condition as me." Song Zichen said after a pause. Lan Wangji nodded again, "Wei Ying was…. someone I cared about a lot. His kindness led him to his death and I also regret how I left his side." Song Zichen gave a sympathetic nod. 

 

"So we're both trying to save the people we care about," He said after a low shigh. "Well, wish you good luck." 

*

 

Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen were requested to assist the juniors first night hunt. The group of juniors contained Wei Ying and Lan Zhan with them.Wei Ying didn't try to hide his excitement. He was jumping on his heels, laughing loudly as they prepared for their journey. 

"Are you not scared?" Xiao Xingchen asked a very excited Wei Ying. Wei Ying was first on the line as he was good at leading. Behind him was Lan Zhan secretly holding onto Wei Ying's robe. At the end of the line was Song Zichen, making sure no one fell behind and got lost. Unfortunately, Su she was also in this little group. Frowning whenever Wei Ying or Lan Zhan spoke. 

 

"Always concentrate on your surroundings, look out for where the resentful energy is coming from." Xiao Xingchen instructed the kids.

"Is there no other way we can tell where the evil spirit is? Like a compass to lead our way" Wei Ying asked. He had expressed the same question back when they were fifteen. He even made his own tool years later. Lan Wangji believes this time Wei Ying will make the compass sooner than before. 

 

"None I'm aware of, you can make one. I heard you're always up to something new."

The Lan disciplines laughed and complained plainly how Wei Ying makes weird tools that break as soon as they're made. Wei Ying also laughed with them, saying he'll show them once he's successful. 

 

"It's near." Song Zichen announced. Everyone stopped on their track to feel the resentful energy. Some discipline started sweating, some shivered and some even cried. The spirit hadn't even showed up,yet they were nervous. 

"Where do you feel it?" Xiao Xingchen asked the disciple in a hushed voice. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan pointed to their left. 

"Any killing intent?" 

Some shook their heads and some nodded. 

"Be clear" 

"only if attacked" Lan Zhan responded.

"If  we attack it first it'll try to kill us, if we ignore it it'll ignore us too" Wei Ying said after him. "Should we leave it? it's not harmful." 

Xiao Xingchen smiled, saying they have to attack it. "Eliminate so it can cross the river and start the process of reincarnation or stay peacefully in the ghostly world. Now go and find it, attack it however you want" He pats some of the sacred disciplines back. 

Normally, The teacher would find the spirit and tell the students which spell they'll need to kill. Or show them how to kill it after killing the spirit himself. Here Xiao Xingchen lets the students decide what they want. How they want to approach the danger. Lan Wangji is not saying it's a bad choice but aren't the students too young for this? 

 

Wei Ying circled his group to make a plan. Who will attack, who will corner, who will cast the spell. It's not a bad plan, if they follow they'll succeed. But here's the harsh truth, why Lan Wangji didn't like group night hunts, a group never follows your plan like the way you tell them to. 

 

It's a good time to learn about betrayal. Lan Wangji thinks. 

 

When Wei Ying and his fellow disciples attacked the resentful spirit, they originally planned to corner it to where Lan Zhan was waiting to Eliminate. As Lan Wangji  expected, one of his classmates failed to corner it, too scared by the dark  appearance. Just then Su she started attacking the spirit out of nowhere. It increased the killing intent and attacked the students with greater power. That's when Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen  steps in knowing the students have dug themselves in danger. 

Most would say their night hunt was a failure. Students were covered in dirt, some had bruised. They were scared to their bones. When Song Zichen told them it wasn't about success or failure but about how much they learned, they felt a little better. But not as good when Xiao Xingchen praised each kid for what they did and what they didn't. He didn't scold Su she for his mindless attacking, only praised his brevity. It'll fuel his ego, Lan Wangji knows it. 

 

*

 

Lan Wangji doesn't know what happened but Suddenly Lan Qiren told Wei Ying to travel with his Shishu for two weeks. He told Wei Ying it was out of Xiao Xingchen's request and it was a good opportunity to gain more experience.  

He packed his stuff in the qiankun pouch  Lan Qiren gave him. Lan Qiren also gave him a guqin labeled Wuxian. "Practice everyday" Lan Qiren had said. 

At the day of departure Half of the Cloud recesses residence had come to see off Wei Ying. It looked more grand than the occasion was. 

Lan Qiren and Lan Qingheng bowed to the two young cultivators, thanked them, bid them goodbyes. Whereas Wei Ying was being hugged by his many shixiong and shidi and some shijie who had taken a liking to Wei Ying. Lastly when he hugged Lan Zhan the boy refused to let go, holding onto his hands tightly. By the  looks of it, Lan Zhan may have thought Wei Ying was never coming back. Or maybe he wanted to go with Wei Ying.  "A-Xian will be back soon, A-Zhan." Lan Xichen tried to comfort his teary eyed little brother. Even when he looked like he was about to cry as well. When the two kids let each other go, they promised to come back soon. 

Wei Ying wasn't the best at keeping promises. Lan Wangji bitterly thought.

 

*

 

Xiao Xingchen wanted to visit the water goddess temple near Gusu sea port. When Wei Ying asked if they were going to some mission or exorcise any ghost Xiao Xingchen laughed saying "I just want to make some good memories with my Xian-er."

At the outskirts of Caiyi town Xiao Xingchen suggested hiring a donkey for their journey would be better."This poor one just left the mountains with no money." He said in a melodramatic voice, batting his eyes for extra attention. "Since, rich young master volunteered to accompany, shouldn't he help this penniless man?" Song Zichen scoffed before pulling out his money pouch. 

Xiao Xingchen sat on the donkey with Wei Ying in front of him. He gave the rien to Song Zichen asking, with pleading eyes, if he could also volunteer to lead them. Without a question Song Zichen took the reins with Wei Ying's guqin hung on his back alongside his sword. Xiao Xingchen rested his upper body on Wei Ying's back resting his chin over Wei Ying's head. Gazing at the man in front of him. There was a soft smile on his face, delight in his eyes. "I don't understand why you accept all my whimsical requests." He absent mindedly ran his finger through Wei Ying's hair. Song Zichen responded with a soft "I want to." It makes Xiao Xingchen laugh, though Lan Wangji can't see what was so funny about his response. "You're weird," said Xiao Xingchen, "I like weird." he added.

There Lan Wangji noticed how different Xiao Xingchen acts in front of Song Zichen. Even though he had only met the other man for a short time, he trusts him with no question. They've already bonded with companionship that can be compared with one's Zhiji. 

"Let's stop here"  in the middle of a bamboo forest Xiao Xingchen stopped them. It wasn't even afternoon, why stop so early? Song Zichen's face also expressed the same questions. Xiao Xingchen laughed and started stretching his limbs. "Now!" he said, clapping his hands loudly, "time to talk about why I bought you with me." Wei Ying looked at Xiao Xingchen's face with a skeptical look. Looking at his facial expression, Xiao Xingchen giggled more. "Don't look at me like that Xian-er" He ruffled Wei Ying's hair. In a hushed tone he continued "What I want to teach you is super secret, I can't talk about it in local premises." Knowing this, Wei Ying's pupil went round with excitement. He started jumping on his heels, ready to learn whatever secret he was going to be bestowed with. 

Xiao Xingchen gave details of the secret.  A sword form, named 'Crane's flight', only Baoshan Sanren's pupil knows about. From his description this sword form needs one to connect with all five senses. For if one were to lose one sense like eyesight, they could still fight with the others. "I'm sure shijie would have taught you if times were better." When gloom fell down upon Wei Ying, Xiao Xingchen unsheathed his sword animatedly. "Watch me closely," he said before performing his sword skill.   

For a moment it felt like Xiao Xingchen was dancing with his sword. Even with his eyes closed he was elegant as ever, his limbs moved like silk ribbon in air, his sword spun in his hand like it weighed nothing. Even when it felt like he wasn't using any force, with a feather touch, leaves that came near the sword cut in perfect halfs all without losing their aerodynamics.

Wei Ying awed in astonishment, so astonished that he started praising incoherently. "How was it?" Xiao Xingchen asked afterwards. "Beautiful as always." Song Zichen answered swiftly along with Wei Ying's non-stop fawning. Despite laughing at their compliments, Xiao Xingchen blushed furiously. 

After calming down Wei Ying, he started demonstrating his forms, how to hold the hilt, how to sense with his eyes closed and everything in between. Wei Ying wrote down his notes, wherever he felt necessary. 

Commonly, two weeks were not enough to learn a whole new sword form. But, this was Wei Ying. Xiao Xingchen must have seen Wei Ying's potential, hence requesting for Wei Ying to come with them.

Wei Ying started practicing with enthusiasm while the two men watched him fondly. Xiao Xingchen corrected his form from time to time. Even when they continued their journey Wei Ying would walk alongside Song Zichen practicing while walking. They'd camp outside since, "inns are expensive, nature is the best." 

That was an excuse Xiao Xingchen used after his first inn experience. 

That night, during dinner he heedlessly fed Song Zichen, mostly as a joke. When Song Zichen accepted it some bystanders pushed their table shouting, "Damned cut sleeves." The push was so strong that it made their soup bowls fall, startling Wei Ying. He was so used to the harmony of Cloud recesses, eating dinner with silent murmuring, that the sudden conflict frightened him. When Song Zichen wanted to start a fight Xiao Xingchen begged him not to. That inn night was spent uncomfortably.

Wei Ying too, preferred camping outside. Bathing in the streams and lakes,hunting pheasants and fishes, buying fruits and vegetables, making dinner themself, talking about anything, staying up till late night, grazing at the star filled sky. He loved the adventure and Lan Wangji loved to see him experience new things about life. 

Notes:

Xiao Xingchen (＾◡＾) : Song Zichen, say aaaa~
Song Zichen: (- 。-)
Random single straight dudes watching them: stop scattering dog food!!! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
*
Haha, spreading the All Baoshan Sanren's pupils are oblivious AF agenda.
If you want to ask if Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen are dating, then no. They are not dating. Or Xiao Xingchen thinks that they are not in love or something. Why would a random guy suddenly appear and volunteer to help him his way through the world? beacuse he is very kind. So kind that it feels weird. also keep in mind that, in this fic, here, Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen are about 18/19 years old.

Chapter 15: Sticky candy and Sticky rice

Notes:

Warning!! poor description of sexuality.

"Are there any other Baoshan Sanren's pupils?" Wei Ying asked one night. Xiao Xingchen fixed the campfire, smoked fish rested in their hands. "I'm not aware, they don't really reveal themselves like i accidentally did."

Accidentally?  Lan Wangji wanted to know how that had happened but that was none of his business. "Do you know about Yanling Daoren?" Wei Ying shook his head. "He was the first one to leave the master's mountain." Xiao Xingchen described Yanling Daoren as a kind and skilled cultivator. It turned out being kind was one of the main motto of Baoshan Sanren's disciplinary. He said Yanling Daoren's kindness once led him to madness. His skills were so superior that he started killing people like grass blades. Sure they were wrong, regardless of their crime. Whether they stole a piece of bread or gold jewelry, to him they deserved death. 

"Keep in mind Xian-er, Our power is also our curse, we must never scum to the path of malevolence." He warned Wei Ying. Power certainly was a curse. It was the power of stygian tiger amulet that made everyone fear him.Though it was once helpful to win the war, it was of no good. 

With a soft sigh Xiao Xingchen patted Wei Ying's head before saying "World was kind enough to give us orphans a safe place to grow, a family to stay with. We must be kind to the world as well." Wei Ying gazed at the camp fire. He smoked his fish with deep concentration before mumbling "Remember the things others do for you, not the things you do for others." Xiao Xingchen smiled at him, stroking his hair. "Shijie said it?" Wei Ying nodded gently. 

Lan Wangji feels like he understands Wei Ying a little more now. Both from this time and his life. Why Wei Ying would give up all his possessions for people who once showed him a little kindness. Why Wei Ying was so selfless. What his mother said was carved in his heart. He followed those words without any hesitation. His parents would have been so proud if they knew. He hopes they are watching over their son from wherever they are. Wei Ying is kind, benevolent, humble, thoughtful, sympathetic. Lan Wangji always felt blessed to have fallen in love with such a person. How blessed he was to see Wei Ying grow up to the persona Lan Wangji loved for the eternity of his life.

 

*

 

Two weeks later after visiting the temple they were back at the Mountain steps of Cloud recesses. Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen bid their goodbyes at the foot. After a long hug from his Shishu Wei Ying ran towards the gates. The disciplines guarding the gates beamed as soon as they saw their dear mischievous shidi. Wei Ying spared no time for them, only greeting them with a wave. He ran to the main compound where many other disciples greeted him loudly saying "Shidi you're back!" "Wuxian is here!" "Wei Wuxian has arrived!" Rules were forgotten as soon as Wei Ying was at eyesight. They cheered so loudly that Lan Qiren had to come out of his class to shut them up. "What's the commotion?" He asked. No sooner had he finished his question Wei Ying jumped at him from the roof. Lan Wangji thought Wei Ying would hug his uncle but no. That's probably something he'll never see. It sounds awkward too. Wei Ying's first instinct was to attack Lan Qiren, more accurately his goatee. In the small span of time his goatee has grown significantly, perfect length to hold and yank. Lan Qiren also instantly dodged his attack making Wei Ying hit the ground. "I'm back!" he yelled, now lying near his uncle's legs. Lan Qiren scoffed, resting a hand on Wei Ying's head saying, "Is that how you greet your elders? Is this what I taught you? Want to get punished as soon as you come back." He might be acting angry because Lan Wangji saw how soft his uncle's face looked while Wei Ying hugged his legs. "Your clothes are all dirty, go take a bath, later join us for lunch."

As instructed he goes back to his dorm room. Where another round of greetings filled the halls. He ignored how Su she scoffed and mumbled "back to annoy." and greeted everyone warmly. He whined unpacking his sets of clothes, all muddied with different kinds of stains. "I have to wash this all" He wails. So far he only has one clean set of robe. If he washes them all together he'll have to borrow from Lan Zhan. Not that his younger self minded. 

He bathes in the bathhouse, most stalls were empty at that time. Which is a very rare case. Whenever Wei Ying comes to bathe, near evening, all the stalls get taken. Not to mention there is a big line of disciples waiting for their turn. Lan Wangji never knew the dormitory's bathing system was like this. He never even thought about it. There was no point denying, he truly was a pampered young master.

Lan Wangji has to wait for him outside because, 'privacy'. He hears him coo, happy how clean the bath water is, he has soap to wash himself. 

 

Entering his room Lan Zhan welcomed him with a soft smile. Before Lan Zhan could finish his sentence Wei Ying jumps on the boy for a hug,making both of them fall to the floor with a loud 'thunk'. Whatever Lan Zhan was saying was muted by Wei Ying's loud "Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan! I missed you! Where were you when I came? I looked for you all around the compound!" He finally broke the hug, still strangling the boy on the floor. "Guqin class." Lan Zhan answered. He had the sense to separate each other and sit properly like a proper Lan. "Lunch, everyone is waiting for you." Lan Wangji had a feeling that Lan Zhan couldn't wait with everyone to meet Wei Ying. He had come to his room to personally welcome and escort Wei Ying to the Dining hall. 

The dining hall filled with a cacophony of disciplines greeting him, waving at him. Some elders who had taken a liking to Wei Ying also joined them. "We thought Wei Wuxian was the sticky candy, always sticking with Wangji." One elder said before they start eating. "Turns out Wangji is just as sticky as Wei Wuxian" He continued. "Like sticky rice" Another elder beside him added watching Lan Zhan sit way too close to Wei Ying. Everyone joked saying 'Sticky candy and Sticky rice' makes an oddly nice pair. 

The disciplines giggled everytime Wei Ying scowled, eating his bitter bland food. After two weeks of eating savoury faloverd food it was a sudden torture for his taste buds. 

 

After lunch, Wei Ying took Lan Zhan to their secret hideout. Near the back mountain stream, Under the big willow tree. They always come here to train, play  or idly chat. Wei Ying shared his two weeks of adventure with exaggerating gestures. He told him about the new sword form he learned. "Shishu went 'whoos' and 'whoosh' and he looked so amazing doing that! I'll show you once I've mastered it" Wei Ying continued his wild rambles describing everything he saw on his way, from the Orange cat to the big ships, Everything he ate, from roasted pheasant to shrimp buns. Everything that had happened. "And then those scary looking men pushed our table! It made my soup fall on my robes! They said 'Damn cut sleeves' but our sleeves were perfectly stitched to our robes! when they had holes in their sleeves!" Lan Wangji snorted after hearing Wei Ying complain. He didn't know what cut sleeves meant or how those men wanted to insult his Shishu. 

Should he teach him what it meant? Will he get sad or feel disgusted? No, Wei Ying won't feel disgusted, he isn't that kind of person. Even when his Wei Ying once said he wasn't into men he hadn't expressed any disgust towards them. 

"And the temple was so beautiful! The river too! Let's go to that port one day, okay?" Lan Zhan nodded. Wei Ying gave Lan Zhan a Charm ensuring prosperity, he bought them with his monthly allowance.  He had bought one for Lan Xichen as well. "Should you not start writing your report?" Lan Zhan reminded him. Wei groaned remembering Uncle told him to write a report of his journey. When Wei Ying cried dramatically saying he'll get bored, alone in his room. He agreed when Lan Zhan suggested they work together in the library. They spent the rest of the afternoon in the library. Lan Zhan, writing his homework, practicing calligraphy and Wei Ying, busy with his report. The report won't take long as there was barely anything important to write. Other than learning a new sword form nothing noteworthy had happened. Wei Ying tried his best to make a formal report instead of making a written version of everything he said to Lan Zhan. He  was good at writing reports except he added too much unnecessary information making his report longer than needed. Lan Qiren had scolded him more than once for this.

 

He was invited to another family dinner with the whole Lan family when he submitted his report. There he shared what he said to Lan Zhan all over again. The family quietly listened to Wei Ying's continuous monologue without any discomfort. When he talked about how those men had called Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen 'Cut sleeves' Lan Qiren and Lan Qingheng choked on their food simultaneously. Given Lan Xichen's curious expression, Lan Wangji guessed the boy will look up what that word meant. 

"What does 'cut sleeve' mean?" Wei Ying didn't hesitate to ask, he never does. Questioning when failing to understand something was always encouraged. Lan Qiren looked proud of Wei Ying's questioning skills but now he looked like he'd talk about anything but this. Lan Qingheng cleared his throat before saying   "It's a bad word, to insult, don't use it." He wasn't being clear and it was not even a proper answer. Wei Ying didn't ask any further moving onto his next story. 

 

*

Wei Ying's sleep schedule changed due to waking up late and sleeping late at night. He shifted on his bed uncomfortably. "Wuming" Wei Ying nudged him lying flat on his belly. "I can't sleep." He can see that. Lan Wangji shifted closer to him, "Do you want to talk?" Wei Ying smiles nodding. "Can you tell me why cut sleeves is an insult? Why did they want to insult Shishu anyways? I wanted to ask this to Shufu and Qingheng-jun but they looked uncomfortable." Wei Ying says all at once, lying on his back now. Wei Ying was getting better at observing moods. He could tell when one was uncomfortable or sad. Lan Wangji stroked Wei Ying's hair, thinking of a proper way to answer his questions. "The term 'cut sleeve' isn't really an insult, it originated from a story of two men loving each other." Lan Wangji narrates the infamous story as easily as possible for him. 

"So because the emperor cut his sleeves for his lover, he is called a cutsleeve." Wei Ying repeated. Then suddenly started to laugh. "Why's that? When Zirui Laoshi cut off his handkerchief for his wife's bleeding finger he wasn't called a cut handkerchief? When Xin jie cut off her veil to make a pouch for Yunshi-ge, she isn't called a cut veil? When-" 

"Wei Ying, it doesn't work like that." 

"So why was the emperor called a cut sleeve for cutting his sleeve for his lover." 

Lan Wangji inhaled deeply. Wei Ying doesn't see the difference between loving a male and loving a female and a male loving another make.

"The emperor loved a man while he was also a man, it's uncommon for a man to love another man." He really hopes he's doing good. He never thought he'd have to describe this to someone in his life. He also learned about cut sleeves when he was fifteen and had just newly fallen in love with a boy. 

"Why is it not common? Qingheng-jun loves Shufu, Xichen-ge loves Lan Zhan, I love Lan Zhan." 

"That's because they're brothers, you and Lan Zhan are friends. That's not the same kind of love we're talking about" 

 

Heavens! I'm so bad at this.

 

Lan Wangji felt frustrated, this was harder than he thought. Would have been easy if Wei Ying could tell the difference between filial love, platonic love and romantic love. 

"It's like the love mama and baba had?" Wei Ying asked in a melancholic tone. Lan Wangji is happy that Wei Ying remembers the love his parents had. That's also a reason for his heart ache. Wei Ying groaned, shifting on his, "It's harder than literature! I don't understand." Even in the darkness Lan Wangji could make out the frown of his brow and the little pout of his lips. He's such a bad teacher. He wished he had a book to guide him. He should have prepared for this. "You'll understand when you are older."  

"So what if Shishu loved Song shibo! Why did those guys act like that?"   

That's a question Lan Wangji always had. A man loving another man was none of their concern. What two people loving each other does in bed shouldn't bother them. For this sole reason, he had taken so long to accept himself the way he was. He felt foolish for denying his undying love for Wei Ying. 

"People don't like people different from them. They dislike what they can't accept." He replied. 

"What about your lover Wuming? you never tell me anything about yourself." Wei shifted closer, his eyes shone in the dark. 

"My lover was also a man." Wei Ying looked at him with an excited gaze. He was hoping for more details, but Lan Wangji wasn't sure how he should answer.

He has always wanted to share everything to Wei Ying. Tell him all that happened to him in his time. That, he begged to be with Wei Ying, he cried to be with Wei Ying.  

Should he tell him everything? Will Wei Ying Understand him and his friend Lan Zhan are the same person? Will he feel how much he loved him?  Will Wei Ying get angry? A cruel voice inside his head always answers, Wei Ying will. He'll laugh at Lan Wangji hysterically. "How mad do you have to be Lan Wangji? You even crossed time to get me locked up in Gusu!" His Wei Ying will start fighting. What if Wei Ying of this time hates him too after knowing the truth. What if he tells him to ' piss off' to go away from his sight. What will he do? 

Wei Ying I didn't mean to take you to Gusu. I had no plan to lock you up. I care about you, I only want to keep you safe, please don't push me away, please let me stay by your side, I want you to be safe and happy. 

"Wuming?" Wei Ying shook him out of his emotional turmoil. What was he doing, having  a mental breakdown in front of him. "It's fine, I don't dislike you for having a male lover" Wei Ying pets his back gently. It helps his heart calm down. " You can love whoever you want, don't pay attention to people." He should be the one calming Wei Ying, instead Wei Ying was calming him, his broken frantic heart. 

"Wei Ying too can love whoever he wants" He says softly melting under Wei Ying's gentle hands. It doesn't last long as Wei Ying gets embarrassed mentioning his love. "Me! no, no,no," He chokes on air. "I won't fall in love with anyone!" He declares loudly. "I'll follow the path of celibacy like Shufu, help my caln. When Xichen-ge becomes the sect leader and Lan Zhan becomes the Co- Sect leader I'll be their humble assistant, serving the sect till death" He pulls his blanket over his head after his speech. Lan Wangji huffs at his audacious speech with a silly red face. 

 

At least the kid was sleeping earlier than he thought.

 

*

 

After his journey with Xiao Xingchen, Wei Ying settled his mind on too many topics. 

One, he hated carrying guqin because "It's heavy and too hard to take care of" switching to learn flute "like Xichen-ge." 

Two, he was working very hard on creating a new talisman for long distance communication. Because he missed talking with his (Lan Zhan) friends and messenger butterflies use up "too much Qi for too little words" 

Three, Mastering the sword forms Xiao Xingchen had taught.

All alongside his studies,training and occasional group night hunts. 

No matter how many times Lan Wangji tells him to focus on one thing at a time, Wei Ying wouldn't listen. It's messing up his sleep schedule. Though he wakes up at five he'd go to sleep at midnight, taking small naps on "boring classes" and in the bunny field or the library.

All Lan Wangji could do was to make sure he was not overworking himself. He's just a kid after all. 

Notes:

I named Wei Ying sticky candy beacuse he's sweet lil baby and Lan Zhan sticky rice, will because, he's kinda bland like rice and all white like rice.. though warm, freshly steamed sticky rice can be sweet and tasty in way.

 

Wei Ying: what's a cut sleeve?
Lan Qiren: *choking* *dying* *asking god what had he done to be asked this question*
Lan Xichen: *detective mode on*

*

Wei Ying: I won't fall in love! nope! never! I'll die virgin
Me, writing this: ha! clown

Chapter 16: To convey one's innermost feelings

Notes:

user ArchiveGoddess said how Lan Zhan's lonely days must be without Wei Ying and I went all!!! that's a great idea!!! so I wrote this side fic which was totally unplanned of, you can read it Here

In the span of four months Wei Ying learns the basics of Dizi. Because he practiced with a bamboo flute he hadn't learnt any complex cultivational song. 

Lan Qiren gives him a spiritual Dizi he had prepared beforehand, when Wei Ying had learned all about a dizi. The dizi Lan Qiren handed him was made out of green nephrite. The green shade of it was so close to black that for a moment Lan Wangji hallucinated it to be Chenqing. 

Nostalgic at the appearance of Wei Ying holding a Dizi. A dizi his Wei Ying fought with, controlling ghouls and dead bodies. Resentful energy making his eyes glow blood red. When he first saw Wei Ying in that state, he hated the sight. 

Afterwards it made him feel hot with desire. Whenever he saw his Wei Ying walking with loose robes with unceremonious authority, carelessly twirling his dizi with a sharp smirk, he had wanted to touch Wei Ying, a lot more than he could sustain. Resulting into his thoughtless discourteous act and running away afterwards like a coward. 

 

It's an embarrassing story now. He's not embarrassed of his desire but for the foolish act. How shy he got whenever he got an extra glimpse of Wei Ying's bare chest, how his mind went blank whenever he tried to speak to Wei Ying. Those are old times, now he was an old man with gray hair. Or an old dragon with bluish mane. 

Ridiculous. 

 

Wei Ying tested out his dizi with a few blows. When the tune ceased, there was such a reverberation as if from the serene streams of mountains. "It's really beautiful" Wei Ying mumbled softly. "Thankyou Shufu." He tries to hug after bowing. Lan Qiren stops him before he could, making Wei Ying fake whine.  "What should I name it?" Wei Ying asked. Lan Qiren scoffs as if annoyed with a distant memory. "I'm not naming anything for you anymore." He's still angry at Wei Ying for turning down more than ten beautiful names only to name his sword 'whatever'. 

"Chenqing" Lan Wangji whispered near  his ear. Surely no one will mind him naming Wei Ying's flute, The name was originally suggested by Wei Ying himself. Wei Ying of another time, of another world.

"Chenqing?" Wei Ying parroted. 

"Mn,from Chu Ci, to convey one's innermost feelings." 

"From.. Chu Ci…" Wei Ying repeated slowly as if lost in a deep thought. 

 

In front of them Lan Qiren had heard Wei Ying repeating his words. He looked pleased with the name. "Chenqing, It's a good name, keep it."  Wei Ying's grip on the flute tightened before smiling and nodding. "Chenqing!". As he called out the name loudly a gust of air abruptly opened the window making the clandels jitter. In a spur of moment Lan Wangji felt a strong resentful energy push through him. Judging by Wei Ying and Lan Qiren's face they could feel it too. Lan Qiren swiftly runs towards the heart of Cloud recesses, To the ward formation, Wei Ying follows him as well. On their way they meet Lan Qingheng, also running to the core. Lan Wangji noticed Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen was behind him, coming from their respective quarters.Few other elders could also be seen. 

When they reached at the core of Cloud recesses, to check the warding array, it was completely fine. It wasn't broken or mended as Lan Wangji had thought. "Did you all feel the heavy resentful energy?" Lan Zirui asked. 

"That's why we're all here" Lan Liu responed. 

"Why is Wei Wuxian here?" Lan Yan barked "This is a heavily restricted area, only inner clan members are allowed." 

It's true that the area is restricted no matter how good of a discipline you are. The disciplines aren't even allowed to know where the protection array is formed. But he didn't have to bark like that. Wei Ying cowered back realizing his fault. His back met with Lan Zhan's chest, blocking him from going away. When Wei Ying tries to run other way Lan Xichen stops him by squeezing his shoulder firmly. "He's here with me" Lan Qiren states loud and clear. Just when Lan Yan was about to say Something more gritting his teeth, Lan Qingheng called them to pay attention to the main problem, reason why they were here in the first place.

 

"No evil energy can pass the wards without breaking the array." Lan Qingheng said, still eyeing the array. Some of the elders went to the main compound to check if there really was any evil spirit lurking around. Wei Ying raised his hand as if he was in class. When given the assurance to speak he said, "What if the spirit came in with someone who has our jade token. Or stole the token, taking a human form." Was he still referring to that made up story Lan Xichen had told him? Lan Xichen on the other hand looked agonized, discreetly hiding behind his little brother.  Lan Qiren scoffed, presumably remembering  the same incident. 

"No evil spirit is strong enough to steal our jade token" An elder reminded Wei Ying how jade tokens have spells carved in it.

"The former guess is a possibility," said Lan Qingheng. "Though a skilled cultivator would know if an evil spirit with resentment so strong was with him."

"Maybe the creature is strong and intelligent, it suppressed its power to be unnoticed" Lan Zhan said. 

"But" Lan Xichen came forth "Why would it suddenly blast its energy all over Cloud recesses if it was suppressing?" 

Wei Ying chuckled before saying "it's like the creature was announcing it's grand entrance saying 'Look at me, I'm here'" Lan Xichen also joins his silly assuming game "Maybe it made a bet with it's ghost friends, 'I'll go inside cloud recesses and come back without dying'" 

"It's already dead" was Lan Zhan's small contribution to the game, making the older boys laugh louder. 

Annoyed by the trio, Lan Qiren sends them back saying the elders will handle the matter, kids should sleep. 

"Lan Zhan, Xiongzhang, look at my new dizi" Wei Ying said on their way back to the main compound. When he held out the flute both Lan Wangji and him were shocked. Maybe Lan Wangji was more shocked than Wei Ying because the Dizi Wei Ying was holding, was completely black. It looked exactly like Chenqing. Its black body gleamed under the moonlight. 

"It's beautiful" Lan Xichen took the dizi from his hand. "Made with nephrite" he examined it "I'll buy you a new tassel to decorate it, red?" 

"Red." Wei Ying nodded. 

Lan Zhan gave him back his dizi looking a little disappointed. "Guqin is stronger, better for musical cultivation. You should carry both like Xiongzhang." It's not true. Lan Wangji knows why he's being moody. He lost his guqin partner in guqin class as Wei Ying took dizi classes. 

"But carrying a guqin is so hard." Wei Ying whined. "It takes up too much space and energy in the qinquan sleeve too. And it's so hard to take care!" 

"Lazy." Lan Zhan says more aggressively than needed. It makes Lan Xichen laugh as if he's enjoying a free comedy show. 

They had to run three different ways when Lan Zirui catches them chatting idly after curfew time. 

 

Back in Wei Ying's room they kept staring at the black dizi silently. Wei Ying looked worried, tired, dark circles formed under his eyes. It was uncommon for Wei Ying to have dark circles. He had seen Wei Ying stay up till late night, even then he didn't look as tired as he was now.  Lan Wangji didn't feel any resentful energy from the dizi. He really, really hopes it's not what his anxious brain is telling him. So he asks Wei Ying if he feels anything different. Wei Ying laughs a faux laughter, waving his hands saying "nothing after that phenomenon." He was hiding something, Lan Wangji knows it. "Wei Ying, don't hide anything from me"

Wei Ying flops back on his bed, sighing. "I'm just worried about the ward, what if something bad happens while I'm sleeping."

 It then occurred to Lan Wangji that Wei Ying has grown up so much. He wasn't a five year old scared boy, he wasn't the eight years old playful boy either. He'll be ten in a few months, he's growing up so fast, worrying about his sect, he has started to sigh out of frustration. Lan Wangji curled up near him, "Don't worry, your elders are strong, everything will be fine.'' Hopefully. 

With another sigh Wei Ying drifts into sleep. His sword and flute lay beside him on his bed. 

 

Just before sunrise Wei Ying went directly to Lan Qiren's room. Lan Qiren welcomed him with a scowl for not knocking before entering his house. "That isn't important, what happened after we left?" Wei Ying discarded quickly. Lan Qiren was in the middle of meditation, he closed his eyes again, slowly explaining what they found.  Which was nothing. The gust of resentful energy still stays a mystery. Uninvited, Wei Ying also sits in a meditation position beside his uncle. "I have had a question for a long while," he says, "why do we hate resentful energy? Why do we have to purify resentful energy?" 

Oh no…  Lan Wangji laments in his heart. This doesn't sound good.  He doesn't want Wei Ying to get curious about the usage of resentful energy. What if history repeats itself again. He has to stop him before that, he has to warn him. He can't watch Wei Ying lose himself in the dark path.

"Spiritual energy is energy, resentful energy is also energy. If we can use spiritual energy, why can't we use resentful energy as well?" Lan Wangji wants to cry. He just hopes his uncle doesn't lose his temper and tells him to scram like he had in a different timeline. 

Lan Qiren, surprisingly, stays calm, too calm that makes Lan Wangji queasy in the stomach. What if he starts hating Wei Ying after this. Lan Qiren exhales through his nose, louder than one should. "Wei Wuxian" he says, opening his eyes. "Did you forgot which path the Lan sect follows?" he doesn't let Wei Ying answer saying "We follow the righteous path, keep away from evil. Our ambition is to purify evil and bring peace. To use that evil, to follow the dark arts goes against our beliefs." 

"Yes, but" Wei Ying stands forward "What if we use the resentful energy for good purpose, no one as ever tried, maybe if  we-" 

"Wei Wuxian" Lan Qiren cuts him off a little bitterly. "Too much curiosity kills the cat. Do not disappoint me." He goes back to his meditation, closing his eyes. Not wanting to see Wei Ying's face anymore. "You can leave now." 

 

With a heavy heart Wei Ying bows and leaves for his duty. By his face it was clear that he knew how angry Lan Qiren could have been, if it were to be someone other than him. He looked too sad to be given another lecture of the harmful effects of resentful cultivation. 

 

Some other day. Lan Wangji decides.

 

The phenomenon with resentful energy swept didn't cause any problem, no one was harmed. Regardless, the sect had to form a much stronger array in case something bad really happened.There was a course of gossip though, everyone made up their own theory of what might be the cause. Luckily it resulted in getting  punished and they had to stop and forget about it. 

 

*

 

Just before winter air froze the mist of Cloud recesses, Lan Qiren selected a group of capable disciples to go to Qinghe Nie sect to learn charioteering. As expected Wei Ying was one of them. And as always he and Lan Zhan were the youngest in the group. It gives Wei Ying more chances to tease Lan Zhan for being the youngest as he is still a few months older. 

That was the first time Wei Ying set foot outside of Gusu. So his excitement was foreseeable. Lan Qiren took his nephews to different meetings and conferences so it wasn't the same for Lan Zhan. Lan Xichen also traveled on his own sometimes. His other Shixiongs weren't also particularly as excited as Wei Ying was. Li Yong played along with him. "I heard the Nie sect leader was on his deathbed" Yu Zhen said on their way "His elder son Nie Mingjue is only two years older than Lan gongzi." Lan Xichen has told them about their friendship, going night hunting together for a while. So it turned out his brother had befriended one of his sworn brothers. The one who had killed himself barbarically. Death due to Qi deviation, Lan Wangji's brother had told him. Back then his brother was heartbroken due to his death. Even though he tried to hide his pain in front of Lan Wangji, his strained smile gave it off. 

It's impractical to hope that it'll be different now. It's not like Lan Wangji had anything to do with his death. He died due to his violent cultivational method and short temper. However he hopes to ease up the pain his brother has to face in the near future. 

 

It took them eleven days to reach Qinghe by horse cart. Wei Ying was "bored to death" after doing nothing but sit and wait. When they reached the Unclean realm of Nie sect, The formal sect leader greeted them along with his two sons and other clan members. Sect leader Nie looked fragile even with his big muscular body. He really was close to death. Lan Xichen and some other older Lan disciples begged the sect leader to go back to his resting  chambers. Meanwhile, servants showed everyone their shared guest rooms, fixing them a bath. Wei Ying had to share his room with Li Yong. Which was good, the boy was very cheerful and supportive. Lan Zhan was sharing his room with his elder brother. 

 

Because Wei Ying didn't know where Lan Zhan's room was, he strolled around randomly peeking inside of every room. 

"Did you got lost?" came a voice of a kid.  When they turned around, Lan Wangji recognised Nie Huaisang in an instant. Look of innocence yet oddly smug with his words. "I've been watching you peeking in every room, if you keep doing this people will get the wrong idea." 

Wei Ying instantly bowed, formally introducing him to the boy of same height. "Wei Wuxian!" Nie Huaisang's face was shocked. "You're the Red lotus of Gusu." Hearing the silly name Wei Ying chocked on air. "The what of Gusu?" he asked. His face flushed as red as a red lotus.  "It was a childish request I made when I was a kid, how did this name spread?" Wei Ying rubbed his neck out of embarrassment. 'when I was a kid' he said as if he still wasn't a kid. 

"You don't know? You are famous! Everyone knows the Red lotus of Gusu accompanied by the Twin jades of Gusu." Wei Ying couldn't look Nie Huaisang in the eyes. He scratched his cheek with a finger "Am I? I really didn't know, I know the Twin jades are well known but me? I don't- I'm sorry, You know me but I don't even know who you are." Nie Huaisang made a faux offended look, gasping he said "You don't know me?" Wei Ying looked apologetic. His sincerity made the boy laugh. "It's fine, I'm not as famous as you, but I'm known as the late bloomer of Qinghe Nie, I haven't formed my core yet, so… Yeah." It didn't made clear of who he was and Wei Ying still looked apologetic, "I'm Nie Huaisang, second heir of the Nie clan." That finally made sense to Wei Ying. He again bowed to the boy, using his name this time. It made Huaisang flush. He waved his hands, telling him no one bows to him, not that proper Lan way, so he also shouldn't. "And besides, we're the same age, let's be friends." 

So, here, not even a day has passed, Wei Ying already made a friend outside of Gusu. It was nothing shocking to Lan Wangji. He knew they'd be good friends. In his life, he always saw Wei Ying running around with Nie Huaisang. If Jiang Wanyin was the one to scold Wei Ying for creating mischief, Nie Huaisang was the one to encourage him. 

A bad influence. Shouted a part of Lan Wangji's parental brain. But Wei Ying genuinely enjoyed Huaisang's company. He didn't want to stop Wei Ying from having fun. But his parental instincts itched with doubt, Will this be okay?

Notes:

Nie Huaisang has joined the joined the chat!!

Chapter 17: Whispering what was untold

Summary:

This chapter starts and ends with Lan Zhan staying mad at Wei Ying.

Notes:

This is one of my favourite chapters :) hope you enjoy.

Lan Zhan was mad at Wei Ying, again. When Wei Ying found Lan Zhan he was being ignored. He ignored him during dinner, breakfast, the whole conference even now in the training field. No matter how many times Wei Ying called him, tried to get his attention, Lan Zhan would look away. 

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying stood in front of the boy to block his way. He tugged his ears to say sorry, a tactic that always worked whenever Lan Zhan was mad at him. "I don't know what I did, but I am really sorry. Please don't ignore me." Wei Ying pouted, it always melts Lan Zhan's heart. Lan Wangji wished he could tell his younger self not to stay mad at him. Which he might regret in future, as he did. 

Lan Zhan fidgeted before mumbling,"you…." looking down at his clenched fist he continued, "I went to your room yesterday, I waited but you were busy playing with Nie Huaisang." 

 

At least he's more communicative than me.

 

Wei Ying gasped and laughed. "Lan Zhan!" He laughed more while pinching both of Lan Zhan's cheeks before saying "We were looking for you!" 

He explained the situation to Lan Zhan. As it turns out the whole time Wei Ying looked for Lan Zhan and Lan Zhan looked for Wei Ying. They both fall into a fit of laughter and giggles that makes Lan Wangji's heart flutter. 

 

Children.

 

*

 

In the training field the Nie disciples were demonstrated the basics of Charioteering. They'll stay here for three month, which means they'll have to spend the new year's celebration there. For geographical reasons it didn't snow in Qinghe. Despite being winter it was a lot warmer than Gusu. Which is why the cold mornings were more tolerable to the Lan disciples. Nie sect disciples shivered in front of them. Most of them skipped morning training, resulting, the training fields being almost empty. However, Nie Mingjue was always present there.

For Some reason he looked less angry or maybe Lan Wangji wasn't used to his young face. 

 

"Nie gongzi, Can I see your sword?" Wei Ying asked, it was the second day there. Early in the morning, the field only consisted of him, Lan Zhan, Lan Xichen. Wei Ying was really enchanted by Nie Mingjue's single edged sword. Nie Mingjue looked like he wanted to refuse but with Lan Xichen's serene smile behind him, he couldn't. He showed Baxia like he was showing some kind of poison. Near enough to see but far out of Wei Ying's reach. When Wei Ying stretched out his hand to touch the sword, Nie Mingjue abruptly stepped back. "It contains resentful energy, you shouldn't touch it." 

 

Wei Ying looked at Lan Xichen for an explanation. The disbelieving look tells Lan Wangji that Wei Ying was questioning Uncle's warning.

Lan Xichen looked at Nie Mingjue then at Wei Ying, "A-Xian, do you not remember how Nie clan cultivates?" He asks. "Wei Ying sleeps in cultivational history class." Lan Zhan iforms Lan Xichen. Wei Ying rubbed  his neck pulling out his tongue, blinking with one eye. His trademark 'oops' that conveys he's not that sorry about it. 

 

"I have been thinking," Nie Mingjue says looking directly at Wei Ying's shoulder….or him, perhaps.

He reaches out to him, grabbing him by his slim neck. "What is this creature always with you?" He says while rudely gripping him. Lan Wangji couldn't tell what was happening but it was getting hard to breathe. He was being choked, he realized. He flitterred his noodle-like body struggling to get out of this inhumane treatment. By that time he heard Wei Ying shouting incoherently, telling him to let go. 

 

By heaven's blessing he was released from that torture. Air filled his lungs again, allowing him to breathe again. His body laid limp on Wei Ying's palm. 

Lan Wangji has lived for one hundred and twenty three years, and never in his whole human life was he ever treated like that. Sure people hated him. Especially Jiang Wanyin, many times his son had to push himself in between them in case there was bloodshed. Still , Even Jiang Wanyin hadn't had the guts to choke hold him like that. Lan Wangji always knew the Nie clan members were a little slow in the head. But! instantly grabbing someone (even if that someone looked like a wired lizard) without a second thought, without their consent, is just straight moral turpitude.

 

He did not sign up for this.

 

*

 

They delayed their morning exercise for Lan Wangji to gain his strength back. Lan Xichen was still confused about what was happening but played along. Wei Ying was surprised that along side Song Zichen, Nie Mingjue could also see him.

 No, Lan Wangji wasn't happy with this.

Why can he see him? How can he see him? What had happened that made the heavens decide it was a kind gesture to let him have a second chance? 

He was still bitter for having his personal space violated. 

 

Lan Xichen rubbed his head to relieve his headache, "I thought Wuming was his imaginary friend. A-Zhan, you can see him too?" 

Lan Zhan shook his "Can't see, but I can feel his presence." 

 

Okay.  

 

That was another piece of new information. Why had he never said that? Can he hear him as well? That would be good if he did.

He indulged himself in staying limp under Wei Ying's gentle care. He was softly rubbing his neck, back and occasionally rubbing his stomach. It felt good. He believed he deserved the care after being treated so harshly. 

 

Lan Xichen rubbed his temple again, "So I'm the odd one here." He frowned and tried to touch Lan Wangji, luckily his fingers went past him. All he felt was air. "Are you sure this is okay?" Nie Mingjue asked Lan Xichen. 

 

Why shouldn't it be okay? 

 

Nie Mingjue side-eyed Wei Ying before hesitantly saying "I mean, he is.." Just what was he trying to imply here. Side eyeing Wei Ying as if he was some criminal. Lan Wangji knew Nie Mingjue had hated Wei Ying's cultivational path. They're leaving this place if he implies his Wei Ying's crime to this innocent little Wei Ying.  

 

Lan Xichen looked slightly irritated. "Nie gongzi, please don't mistreat A-Xian, your dream has nothing to do with him."

Dream. He believed his previous life was a dream. 

Lan Xichen's hint of irritation explained that he had told him about his so-called 'dream'. Good that Lan Xichen was stubborn. Just like Lan Wangji his belief was never swayed by others' implication. In Lan Wangji's life his brother never believed Wei Ying was good. Here he believed Wei Ying was innocent. Lan Wangji was relieved he had someone on his side. 

 

"What dream?" Wei Ying asked.  

 

Lan Xichen wanted to stop Nie Mingjue  from sharing his story. However Lan Wangji noticed him subtly squeezing Lan Xichen's hand to probably assure him of something. 

 

"Years ago I had a dream," Nie Mingjue says, "A very realistic dream." Wei Ying and Lan Zhan leaned their head forward. 

 

It's not a story time session. Lan Wangji wanted to tell those two, only if he also wasn't interested to know his side of the story. 

 

"In my dream you!" He pointed at Wei Ying "You were a nasty little piece of shit." Lan Xichen cleared his throat to remind him of his vulgar language. "You were a bad influence on my A-Sang, always getting into trouble." Nie Mingjue continued. 

 

OBJECTION! 

 

Lan Wangji had a lot of objections. Firstly, Wei Ying wasn't a bad influence on his brother. It was his brother who was always encouraging him. Secondly Wei Ying took all the blame on himself. He never got his friends into trouble. Lastly, Wei Ying was not a 'nasty-little-pice-of-shit'.

 

"You always used to annoy Lan Wangji" Wei laughed at that as this part was true for both timelines. "But in my dream, you were a Jiang disciple instead of a Lan." No one bothered to mention that he was almost taken by the Jiang family if Lan Qiren didn't fight for him.

 

"And then?" Wei Ying asked. He looked very curious to know what happened next. Nie Mingjue scoffed, "And then I don't know, things happened, I died out of Qi deviation and woke up." Wei Ying and Lan Zhan's tense shoulders fell down and Wei Ying let out a dramatic disappointed cry. Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen both exhaled out of relief. It was a good choice that he didn't share the gruesome part where Wei Ying… 

 

Lan Xichen knows about the full story. He disbelieved whatever Nie Mingjue had shared. Lan Wangji had faith in his brother, though he wanted to know how much his brother knew, and what his response was.

By that time all the Lan disciples had gathered in the field. They joined them, leaving Lan Wangji under a tree shade to rest. 

 

*

"Da-ge shared his wired dream to you?" Nie Huaisang asked. The three children had gathered around a meadow to play. They discussed the dream instead of playing. "No one believes his dream, do you?" 

Wei Ying nodded saying "Some part was believable." 

Nie Huaisang hummed. "Some are true, like I haven't formed my core yet, Father is..you know, going." He made a gesture of flying upwards. How could he talk about his father's death so easily. "But ever since that dream he's so cooled down you know, I don't care if that dream was a prediction or not. He doesn't scold me anymore, lets me enjoy what I like, that's all I care about." 

 

Wrong decision. 

 

Shouldn't his brother become more strict with him? When he died out of Qi deviation Nie Huaisang was incapable of taking care of his sect. Jin Guangyao had to help him supervise. At sect conferences he'd only shake his head saying 'I-don't-know'. 

Or maybe Nie Mingjue doesn't want to be harsh towards his little brother after experiencing conflict with him in his life. He killed himself to protect his brother, was what Lan Xichen told him. Maybe he wants to make better memories this time. That can be a reason why he was sent back. 

 

"But it's not going quite well for Meng Yao." Huaisang mourned. "Meng Yao is a new servant here, Brother hates him because of that dream." 

"Do not harbor hate, Do not jump to an unfounded conclusion." Lan Zhan recited the rules as if he wasn't breaking the rules by gossiping idly. Wei Ying asked why his da-ge hates Meng Yao so much Nie Huaisang replied "He says Meng Yao killed him,that he didn't die out of Qi deviation." Huaisang clicked his tongue annoyed at his brother. "As if anyone would believe that, he's the sweetest servant I ever met! He even helps me buy art supplies." 

 

Lan Wangji's ears rang when he heard Meng Yao was the one to kill Nie Mingjue. He disliked Meng Yao for his excessive insincere reverence. He was the one to provoke Jin Guanshan in killing Wei Ying, only to win his father's trust. But Lan Wangji never thought that behind his meek personality was a cunning murderer.

 

Did he truly kill Nie Mingjue? 

 

Lan Wangji wasn't sure who to believe. His brother cared about Meng Yao so much. They were so close. The three of them had been sworn brothers, why would he kill Nie Mingjue. For how he treated him before their oath? But Lan Xichen had told him everything was clear between them. They swore to forget past conflicts. And yet.

The logical part of his brain was telling him to go to Nie Mingjue for an explanation. His heart was still holding grudges for how he was almost choked lifeless. He didn't want to be logical here anymore. Logic can be damned. He'll have to figure things out some other way.

 

*

 

Wei Ying lost his way to the dining hall, again. It was past his lunchtime, his stomachs growled for food. Lan Wangji would love to show him the way only if he also didn't forget the routes. In his defense, He was old. The last time he visited Qinghe was when Nie Huaisang's hier was bestowed with the Clan leader position. He was there only out of Sizhui's request. He didn't even stay there that time. He can't remember which path takes him where. 

They somehow ended up near a forest. Not exactly a forest, It can be called the back gates of the sect. Luckily they were not alone there.There was teen resting under a tree, possibly drawing the scenery in front of him. Lan Wangji couldn't see his face as they were facing his back. From their distance he could see his side profile, a good looking boy. He assumed him to be a Nie disciple. Wei Ying quietly reached near the boy. He peeked at his drawing scroll from behind. The young master had excellent skills in drawing.

 

"Whoa, your drawing is so good." Wei Ying amused. It startled the boy, "Gongzi" He abruptly stood up and bowed in a manner only servants would. Realization hit Lan Wangji slowly, the teen was no Nie disciple, he was dressed in ordinary clothes. Wei Ying quickly stopped him from bowing his head deeper. He ran for the scroll that rolled down the slope. "Please don't be so formal, I was only complementing your art." He scanned the scroll, wet ink smudged half of its sky yet the piece looked artistic. As the teen straightened up Lan Wangji recognized his face. He has seen that face more than he'd like to admit. It's Jin Guangyao or rather Meng Yao, given the time. He plastered that same fake smile Lan Wangji had seen for decades. "Wei Gongzi, forgive this lowly one for his rudeness, but you shouldn't be here." Meng Yao bowed again and Wei Ying had to stop him. "I actually got lost. Can you show me the way to the dining hall." Meng Yao bowed his head again and yet again Wei Ying stopped him. "I'm not allowed to talk or to be seen with the guest disciplines, please forgive me." 

 

Strange.

 

When Wei Ying asked why there was such a  directive  Meng Yao hesitantly replied "It's an order from Nie Gongzi" and then "I can draw you a map, if you would like." He started drawing a big map of the whole unclean realm writing small notes about what Wei Ying needed to know. Wei Ying sat by his side watching the neat work "Wow, you're so good at this, I've been living in Cloud recesses for years! Even I can't draw a map this good." Hearing Wei Ying's heartfelt compliment, Meng Yao's smile widened a little. "It's not much, I'm nothing near Wei Gongzi." He rips the paper from the scroll, letting the ink dry. "Don't deny your accomplishments, it's a rule. You can be a great cartographer, believe me." Meng Yao laughs a half suppressed laugh before saying, "Wei Gongzi is praising me more than I deserve." 

"It's true, you deserve to be known." Wei Ying says louder than needed. Measured footsteps could be heard from the back until a voice called him "A-Xian" .

Lan Xichen came forward and stopped Meng Yao from bowing his head again. Even now his brother smiles at him gently like he has been for Lan Wangji's whole life. Wei Ying asked what he was doing here he replied he was looking for him, no one had started lunch without him.  

"Meng Yao, where have you been these days? I didn't see you at all." Lan Xichen said. He's still not close enough to call him 'A-Yao'. It sounds unfitting after hearing his brother call him so affectionately for about more than three decades.

Wei Ying told Lan Xichen about the order Nie Mingjue had put upon him. It makes Lan Xichen's frown, not out of anger but frustration. Lan Wangji was sure he's going to have another talk with Nie Mingjue. "Meng Yao, I believe you're nothing like Mingjue thinks, he even thinks A-Xian will…" He stops mid sentence, Wei Ying looks at him confusedly. 

 

Shouldn't they go to the dining hall? Everyone was waiting for them. 

 

But his brother was one of those people who would forget about time when he's talking with people he feels comfortable with. Meng Yao was already in his comfort space. "Look," Lan Xichen says to both Wei Ying and Meng Yao. "Whatever Mingjue's prediction dream was, it's not going to be true, You are not what he says." He holds both of their shoulders. "Don't be disheartened if he says something." 

 

Wei Ying still looks confused. He knows that Nie Mingjue hates Meng Yao for his dream, but doesn't know that in his 'dream' Wei Ying was a wanted criminal. Lan Wangji hopes Lan Xichen keeps that information a secret. "What did I do?" Wei Ying finally asked. Lan Xichen darts his eyes to Meng Yao who also looks confused. "Whatever you did, it was in his dream." 

Wei Ying wasn't convinced by the response, he frowned deeper. 

Lan Xichen inhaled a long breath before saying,"He saw that you misused resentful energy okay? That's why he's afraid to let you touch his saber."  

 

Did he hope too much? Was keeping this piece of information a secret to much to ask? Could he not keep it a secret? Could he not make up a lie?

 

"Wei Ying, it's not you." He reminds Wei Ying. He shouldn't think about using or misusing resentful energy. 

 

Meng Yao shifts from Lan Xichen's hold. "Wei Gongzi is too kind to do so." Lan Xichen humms in agreement. "So are you Meng Yao." he pats Meng Yao's shoulder lightly. "A-Xian, did you know! Meng Yao formed his core on his own." Lan Xichen averts Wei Ying's concentration. "From the street side books, can you believe that? he even remembers what was written on which page." Wei Ying exclamies in amusement, complementing his drawing skills to Lan Xichen. 

"My core is barely formed, my drawings are not worth mentioning." 

 "It is worth mentioning! You're intelligent! You can be a scholar you know" Wei Ying shouted. Lan Xichen also agreed. 

Meng Yao blushed furious red with their endless compliments. Kept disagreeing with those said compliments waving his hands rapidly. "Meng Yao is pretty blushing like that," Wei Ying teased.  Adding fuel to the fire Lan Xichen also teased saying "He can be a pretty scholar, Ladies will run after him." 

For some reason it was so funny to Meng Yao that he started laughing, it wasn't like his diplomatic smiles and half amused laughter. 

It was really awkward for Lan Wangji. He didn't need to see or hear it. Lan Xichen also looked shocked as if this was the first time he was watching the boy laugh like that. "Hey! your laugh is beautiful too!" Wei Ying exclaimed again. "You should laugh like this more, shouldn't he Xiongzhang." Lan Xichen coughed, clearing his throat "Yeah, Yes. He should." He looks fondly at Meng Yao, saying "His real smiles and laughter makes him look more beautiful." He said it so gently that Lan Wangji shudders. 

 

This can not be good. He has a bad feeling about this.

 

Meng Yao hides his smile with his palm, his face still red due to laughing. Behind them came another voice. "If you guys are done being shameless can we please go to eat" Li Yong shouted with a mix of agony and annoyance. He was there with Lan Zhan and a Nie sect servant. "We're dying out of hunger." 

With what Li Yong said and Lan Zhan's facial expression it was clear that they witnessed half of whatever Wei Ying and Lan Xichen was going on with. Lan Zhan again started ignoring Wei Ying. He also refused to look at his older brother. 

 

Jealous.

 

Notes:

imagine Lan Wangji making squeaky sounds as squeaky toys when he was choked ToT
Lan Wangji hates Nie Mingjue so much now.

*

Lan Xichen: Ladies will run after him
Meng Yao: *Laughs in gay*

Chapter 18: Adored yet full of worries

Summary:

this chapter is kinda like filler chapter. Sorry if it doesn't meet up to your expectations. :">

In Qinghe, the disciples were free of their studies. That is if they didn't have any personal work to work with. Like little Wei Ying here was still trying to create a new way of long distance communication. He had copied scrolls and books from the Lan sect library for reference and resources. Wei Ying was always eccentric in his personal work. It wasn't the same case tonight. He was staring at his notes with a blank face. His eyes were somber, lacking the fire he always had. He was sad, Lan Wangji could tell. He tried to indulge him, talk him out, he asked if he was sad of what Nie Mingjue thought of him. Wei Ying wouldn't budge. He didn't respond to Lan Wangji, feigning his sadness as if Lan Wangji couldn't read him. At a later time, Lan Wangji decided to not bother, "tell me when you feel like" he had said. 

Wei Ying was lost in deep thoughts when his roommate, Li Yong came out of the bathtub with nothing but a towel wrapped over his lower body.

 

Shameless 

 

"I wish we could get a private bath like this in Gusu everyday." He flopped his back on his bed."I will be a guest discipline forever if this is how I get treated."  He declared loudly. Wei Ying laughed at his joke, not minding that he's all but half naked. They are breaking rules, they know it and they don't care. Because who'll punish them here? 

 

"Wear your robes, you'll catch a cold." Wei Ying finally says, getting back to his work.  Li Yong doesn't listen to Wei Ying, instead he groans and stands in front of Wei Ying's study table with his hands on his hips. He frowns at Wei Ying like a disappointed big brother. "You're still working on that communication thing." He sits at the opposite side resting his face on his chin. Then snickers as if he remembered something particular. "Last time you messed up, that bird shaped paper flapped its wings crazily."  He was trying his best to stop his laughter while reminiscing about that moment. "And then it landed directly at Su she's head, the face he made was so-" he burst into laughter falling all over the floor. Wei Ying also giggles remembering. Su she was very angry when his origami bird fell on his head. He wasn't hurt at all, still sputtered nonsense like "Wei Wuxian! you planned this." He was later punished for shouting. 

Li Yong sat up frowning again. "Shidi," He said, exasperated. He got up and started to drag Wei Ying away from his seat. "It's nine already, no work after nine, We are good disciplines who don't break the rules." It wasn't nine but eight, he was lying and breaking several rules. But Lan Wangji doesn't mind. He would very much like Wei Ying to stop his work. "Go bath." Li Yong ordered while Wei Ying whined saying he wasn't done with his notes yet. At one point of dragging and whining Wei Ying agreed to bathe. Lan Wangji rested on Wei Ying's bed while Li Yong arranged Wei Ying's messy table. Carefully drying Wei Ying's notes before shutting them, putting a bookmark where he thought Wei Ying was taking notes from. Lan Wangji would call him a dutiful shixiong if he did all that wearing something decent. He's what, thirteen or fourteen, he shouldn't be walking around half naked. 

 

"Yong Shixiong" Wei Ying called him behind his privacy screen. The boy in question hummed. "Don't you miss sharing room with Zhen shixiong, I mean you two are roommates even in Cloud recesses." Something about Wei Ying's voice makes Lan Wangji worry. The way he said it, one can think he's not happy sharing room with the other boy. But Lan Wangji knows better, he's worried that his senior might be annoyed at him. He likes the older boy, they are dorm-room neighbors, they treat each other like friends. 

Lan Wangji goes near the screen asking his permission to come in. He gets in when Wei Ying doesn't reply, only to see Wei Ying's face gloomy. Before he could say anything Li Yong replies to him from behind the screen, "I like sharing room with Xian-shidi just as much." He peeks from the sides to which Wei Ying blushes immediately. Watching Wei Ying curl more in the tub to hide himself made Li Yong laugh, "Why are you getting shy? we're both guys." He says sitting beside the tub placing a hand on Wei Ying's shoulder "Don't think I'm annoyed because I'm sharing the room with you, I'm annoyed because I'm worried our precious shidi is overworking himself."

Lan Wangji decides he will call him a dutiful shixiong even if he was wearing nothing. He understands Wei Ying, he cares about Wei Ying, just the way that makes his worries shoothe down. It works well on Wei Ying, "I'm sorry" Wei Ying mumbles. Li Yong splashes water on his face "Why are you being sorry! I worry about shidi, because I want to." Wei Ying splashes back making them both laugh. 

Lan Wangji thought Wei Ying's sadness would ease down by time. But, now he was sitting on top of a thin tree branch, sulking and anxiously twirling his flute. He does this whenever he's sad. "Wei Ying, if something is bothering you, I'm here to listen." He says again. Wei Ying doesn't open up easily when he's sad. That doesn't mean Lan Wangji will give up trying. 

 

"Wuming, will you hate me if I really misuse resentful energy?" Wei Ying sighed and asked. Lan Wangji knew he was worried about this. He felt relieved that he was opening up.  "No, will never hate Wei Ying." he replies honestly. How can he ever hate this boy. Even the question felt like a joke to him. 

"Will people hate me if I misuse resentful energy?" 

It was rather a hard question. In Lan Wangji's life Everyone hated Wei Ying for his cultivational path. Even his brother Jiang Wanyin, and for a brief moment he also hated how carelessly Wei Ying used resentful energy. To be factual he hated the path but not the user. His hate didn't last before his concern for Wei Ying. 

"Even if you misuse resentful energy,the people who love you will never hate you." Like his Shijie . 

Wei Ying's posture shifted, from there they could see the whole Unclean realm, far outstretched, covered in winter fog. "Wei Ying" Lan Wangji asked, "What is your definition of misusing resentful energy?" Wei Ying shifted again, trying to stand on the branch. "I don't know, hurting people like the resentful spirits does." 

"Wei Ying will not harm anyone innocent." 

"But I'll hurt those who are not?" 

"Hurting those who are guilty of crime isn't hateful. But I'd prefer it if you use spiritual energy instead of resentful energy." 

 

Wei Ying looks at Lan Wangji intently. It's one of those faces when he's solving a problem, in the process of collecting the missing information. Had Lan Wangji said something he shouldn't? He'll be honest if he did. His heart can't lie to Wei Ying.

"Is it even possible to use resentful energy? I've never heard of anyone?Even the Nie clan doesn't use resentful energy. They just absorb and collect the resentful energy in their sabers." 

 

It totally slipped out of Lan Wangji's knowledge that usage of resentful energy is not known in this timeline. Wei Ying was the first one to successfully use resentful energy to its full potential. Though many sects like the Nie sect and Wen sect had secret useage of resentful energy, they were never able to achieve success like Wei Ying.  

 

Wei Ying shakes his head vigorously, "The way you said! it's like," he waves his hand in a manner of throwing talismans "It's like you know resentful energy can be  controlled!" 

 

Lan Wangji doesn't want to lie, he also doesn't want to reveal too much of what he knows. "I knew someone who could." He tries to choose his words wisely. He doesn't want to say that someone is Wei Ying from his life, that Wei Ying had a different life, the life he took himself.

 

"Someone from where you are from?" Wei Ying asked. Lan Wangji nods wondering where Wei Ying thinks he is from. When he first met him, he had said that his parents had sent him. That he was some sort of heavenly  spiritual being. "You said 'knew', is he..?" Lan Wangji feels grateful that Wei Ying didn't articulate the rest. He knows his Wei Ying is dead, but when someone says it out loud it breaks his already shattered heart. He nods to Wei Ying again and Wei Ying winches as if he could feel the pain of death. 

After a beat of silence Wei Ying asks again, "Who was that person to you?" 

 

Lan Wangji takes a deep breath, absorbing the words one by one. Who was Wei Ying to him? Wei Ying was his first ever friend, his soulmate, his zijhi, his first love, his last love, his only love. Wei Ying was everything to him. It never mattered if Wei Ying felt the same. Even now, looking at his ten years old Wei Ying, how much he wants him to call him 'Lan Zhan', how much he wished he could hug Wei Ying like a normal person. He doesn't expect the love he once wanted. He was content this way. He know Wei Ying's every worry, and talks him through every one of them. Watching him grow to be the best version of him. He loves Wei Ying, in all the ways it is possible to love. 

 

"My Lover." He answers after a long pause.His answer made Wei Ying gape. As if he wasn't expecting the answer to be this. Slowly his facial expression changed from surprise to sorrow. Lan Wangji noticed tears forming at the corner of his eyes, he couldn't let Wei Ying cry because of this. "Wei Ying don't cry, it's all right." 

"B-but.." 

"That's why I ask you to use spiritual energy. Resentful energy harms one's mind and soul. My lover was no different to that precept."

 

Wei Ying's breath hitches. He was trying to say something when Lan Zhan suddenly appeared at the nearby branch. "Wei Ying, what happened?" Lan Zhan asked with a small crease in his brows. He tried to get on the same branch Wei Ying was sitting on. Thankfully he noticed the branch was too thin to hold two boys' weight. Wei Ying shook his head saying it was nothing to worry about. But Lan Zhan wasn't convinced. 

"I was just talking to Wuming, about his life." Wei Ying says when Lan Zhan didn't give up inquiring. Lan Zhan didn't interplay more knowing someone's private matters were involved. They stayed there, in two different branches for a long moment. Quietly listening to whatever birds were singing in the cold winter afternoon. "Everyone is gathering leaves to roast sweet potatoes." Lan Zhan quietly informs. "Nie Huaisang and I were looking for you." He adds and looks down at the ground. Near the roots Nie Huaisang laid sprawled. He couldn't climb or fly up like his two friends. He waited there for so long that he got sleepy.

 

"Alright!" standing up Wei Ying exclaims."Whoever gathers more leaves is the winner." He jumps down swiftly, waking Nie Huaisang up. "Loser has to give up his share of potatoes." He doesnt let the other two boys prepare before joining his seniors in leave gatherings. Lan Zhan and Wei Ying start to gather leaves like their lives depend on it, wherelse Nie Huaisang kept complaining he didn't agree to any of it. In the process Wei Ying laughed cheerfully with his whole body. Whatever he was worried about either vanished or forgotten. Or tucked in a deep corner of his heart. Lan Wangji would want all of Wei Ying's worries to disappear. He knows it's not possible, but it doesn't hurt to wish for happiness. 

*

 

One month has passed since they arrived at Qinghe. It was closing to the new year, causing the sect members to be hectic. The disciplines and servants were all busy preparing for the new year. Disciples were given two weeks off to celebrate the new year. Wei Ying was perplexed at first, the new year celebration wasn't this grand in Cloud recesses, neither do they get two weeks worth holiday. Nor do they wear fancy ceremonial robes for the day. Of course they don't wear complete white due to many superstitions. Their grabs range from different shades of blue to teal, designed like the regular robes. Nie Huaisang was furious after knowing it. He decided to take them to the tailors as soon as he knew how bland Cloud recesses are on the 'special day'. 

Meng Yao and Lan Xichen went along with the three kids. Lan Xichen somehow managed to make Nie Mingjue withdraw his regime. Meng Yao was free to walk around with them.Nie Huaisang took them to a tailor, paid for their robes claiming it to be a gift. Wei Ying made continuous 'whoa' sounds as they strolled through the roads.  Lan Zhan didn't look like he was enjoying it as much as Wei Ying. He didn't like the crowds, most importantly he didn't like that Nie Huaisang was also holding Wei Ying's hand. Huaisang would pull Wei Ying to the shops and vendors to buy trinkets, toys, firecrackers,  foods, candies, brushes, fans, anything he liked. Nie Mingjue had spoiled him by giving too much money to spend. Nie Huaisang didn't think twice before buying anything he wanted. Meng Yao would bargain with the sellers if they increased the price. 

 

"Thankyou for assisting us, Meng Yao." Lan Xichen said when they were in a less crowded area of the town,eating cakes near a roadside stall. 

"I'll be happy to assist as long as Gongzi has use for me." Meng Yao bowed his head. Lan Xichen smiled his diplomatic smiles but Wei Ying frowned. By this time Wei Ying was well versed in reading Lan Xichen's expression. He knows when he uses a fake smile and when he is truly smiling. To normal people there wasn't a big difference, but Wei Ying knows better. "If you use 'want' instead of 'use' we will feel better." Wei Ying says. Meng Yao tilted his head in confusion when Lan Xichen laughed. He squeezed the shorter teens arm saying "A-Xian is right. You are not an object to be used Meng Yao, You are here because we want you." Lan Xichen's eyes crinkled at the corners, he meant every word he said.

 

Lan Wangji isn't sure if he should tell Wei Ying to stay away from him. He still has the potential to be the murder of Nie Mingjue. But he wasn't here to save others or change other's futures. He was here for Wei Ying, to change Wei Ying's future. Regardless, if Lan Wangji notices any murderous intent in Meng Yao he'll try to change the circumstances. For now there was no hint of revenge on Meng Yao, he acts like a shy maiden, who blushes every time Lan Xichen makes a genuine comment.

 

The ceremonial robes Nie Huaisang gifted Wei Ying was, in one word, flamboyant. It's something Wei Ying never had the chance to wear. Since Lan sect prefers simplicity, he always got simple embroidered robes. 

The robe was of Nie clan's color, of viridescent shantung fabric with golden shimmery threads. The lapels and sleeves are designed with red lotuses, matching with Wei Ying's name. Lan Wangji knew Nie Huaisang had an artistic eye. He had seen Nie clan change its style due to Nie Huaisang's influence with his own two eyes. He hadn't expected this from him at such a young age. The servants helped him dress up in the ostenious robes. They tried to do his hair but Wei Ying refused to take off his forehead ribbon in front of them. They however combed his hair, cautiously not touching his ribbon. He never thought Wei Ying would be so proactive over the sacred ribbon. 

 

"Wei Ying looks like a doll." Lan Wangji coo'ed. He looks really adorable in the robes and lose hair style. He failed to contain himself and snuggled up to Wei Ying. The boy flusters and hides his face behind his face as Lan Wangji keeps telling him how cute he is. 

"Wuming! stop bullying me!" 

"I'm bullying none. Wei Ying looks adorable." 

Whoever saw Wei Ying and his two friends walking together, in fancy robes, collecting red packets squealed at their adorableness. Lan Wangji was not wrong when he said the robes made him look like a doll. 

 

*

 

Wei Ying learns to drive the chariot a bit later than most disciples. Nie Zonghui told him it's because he's too harsh and unpredictable for the horses in front of the chariot. Sometimes he's too gentle for the horses to make a move let alone run. Albeit, he learns to balance his gentleness and harshness with his reins. Alongside that the Nie sect taught them to ride horses. That too took longer than expected. He'd kick the horse in the wrong place or too hard, making the horse angry. He fell down from the horse back too many times to mention. "Anyone would give up after failing so many times." Nie Huaisang said. If he thought Wei Ying would give up he was very wrong. Wei Ying wasn't one to quit, not so easily. Everytime he fell he'd stand up and try harder with new enthusiasm. 

Being prideful was forbidden. But Lan Wangji wasn't a part of the Lan clan anymore. He was allowed to be proud of how far Wei Ying has come. His eyes teared up as he saw the boy cheerfully riding a horse as perfectly as one could describe. Everyone applauded for his new accomplishment. He was loved, adored by the people around him.

He partnered with Lan Zhan when they practiced fighting while riding the chariot. Lan Zhan would drive and Wei Ying would throw his arrows or wield his sword and vice versa. As always they made a good team. At the end of their stay spring came by. They returned to Cloud recesses with a longness of home. 

"We are back" Wei Ying shouted as soon as they entered the premises of Cloud recesses. His seniors joked how Lan Qiren might run there to shut him up. It was Lan Qingheng who welcomed them first. He asked all the disciplines about their stay, how the sect treated them, what they learned. 

"You all have grown so tall." Lan Zirui exclaims with a smile. He orders his students to bathe and meet him near his quarters. 

Usually Lan Zirui only teaches childrens, so the disciples were all confused about what he might want to say. "He looked so tired, I bet something happened." Yu Zhen says as the disciples gathered near the small front yard.

They all gasped together in surprise when the man came out with a small child in his arms. They were expecting a child to come in spring. Still, the surprise was too big for the youngsters. Their teacher was a father now, a new member was added in the Lan clan. Some of them cried when Lan Zirui placed his fifteen days old son in their arms. When it was Wei Ying's turn he hesitated to take him. It was his first time seeing a child this small. Lan Zirui encouraged him saying it was okay, he can do it. The infant stirred a little when he was placed gently on Wei Ying's arms. If Wei Ying didn't cry before, he was crying then.Lan Wangji felt a wave of nostalgia, he had shed tears like this when his grandchildrens were born. They were so small on his big hands, he was also afraid to hold them at first. They'd whimper, they'd cry in the smallest change. 

Even after being placed from one person to another the baby slept peacefully. Wei Ying quickly but cautiously placed the child in Lan Zhan's arms. He let out the breath he was holding in.Lan Zhan nervously held the child as Lan Zirui demonstrated. "His hands are so small." Wei Ying cooed, gently holding the child's hand, "and so soft." 

When it was Lan Xichen's turn to hold him the child decided he had enough of being shifted. He cried out his lungs as soon as Lan Xichen cradled him, making them all scared.

 

*

 

"He'll grow up and call us gege," Wei Ying said hazely, mostly to himself. They were lying side by side on the bunny field. Watching the white clouds pass by, still trying to absorb the surprise. "He'll call you Wangji gege and me, Xian gege." Lan Zhan hummed in agreement. After a moment of silence Wei Ying again said, "Lan Zhan will also have a baby like this when he grows up, they'll call him A-die,A-die."

He certainly will. Lan Wangji thought in his heart.

Lan Wangji's thoughts immediately provided the memories of young A-Yuan. The first time when he accidentally called him A-die instead of gege. A-yuan had cried at his slip of tongue, Lan Wangji had reassured him that he loved to be called A-die. Though A-Yuan was a young child, the elders were not kind to him. He caught on hints of how unwelcomed he was, Lan Wangji couldn't save him from those hateful looks for nearly four years due to his injuries. For the same reason, A-Yuan was always uncomfortable referring Lan Wangji as his father in front of others. He did called him 'A-die' in private. Even when Lan Wangji tried to talk him through it, he used to say "I don't wish to taint your reputation, Please A-die, I feel comfortable this way." Even though it hurt Lan Wangji, he didn't want to make his son get out of his own comfort zone for Lan Wangji's sake. Though, When A-Yuan was announced the best cultivator of his generation and people asked for his origin, his family history, he answered simply with "Father, Lan Wangji." That was the first time when A-Yuan confidently called him "A-die", His family, son of Hanguan-jun. Even when Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen had told him his family history, reasons why he was not welcomed at first, who Yilling Laozu was to him, He called Lan Wangji his only family. That day Lan Wangji cried in public, hugging his son. 

But, now that Wei Ying is here in Cloud recesses, will the future change? If the war really happens, A-Yuan's family will be in danger. Will Wei Ying help them just like he did before. He looked so weak back then, barely eating and sleeping. With resentful energy slowly eating his body, He was in no good place to help them. "But who will help them if I don't, Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying had asked him back then, Lan Wangji couldn't answer. He still doesn't have an answer. There are so many questions in his head with no answers.

 

From his periphery he saw Lan Zhan sit up. "Will not," he said solemnly. Wei Ying looked at him confused and sat up "Will not have children." Lan Zhan clarified. 

Wei Ying looked even more confused. "Why not?" 

Lan Wangji had the same question. Why would he not want children? He loved every moment spent with A-Yuan, from the first day he saw him on Wei Ying's hips. He'll see what his younger self does if he ever meets A-Yuan of this timeline. No one can resist his cuteness. 

"Does… does Wei Ying want children?" Lan Zhan asked hesitantly. 

 

Oh. 

 

Is he worried he'll have to be with someone else to have children, that Wei Ying would marry someone who isn't him, a woman, precisely and have childrens of his own. Isn't he too young to worry about this? Does he understand how child production really works? In Lan Wangji's life he didn't know about intercourse until he was thirteen or fourteen.That was in sex education class and it was terrifying. 

 

Wei Ying flopped back on the ground cheerfully saying "Of course I want." 

Talk about rubbing salt in the wound .

"I'll ask the heavens to give me a lot of children, We'll play with them the whole day." 

You'll have to marry someone for that." Lan Zhan reminded. 

"Can I not have children without marrying?" 

"No," 

"Then I'll marry someone who wants a child, unlike you I wammph! mmhnmph mmm-!" Lan Zhan casted his silencing spell before Wei Ying could break more of his little heart. He's jealous that Wei Ying will find someone else, someone he'd want to marry and have childrens with. 

Lan Wangji then remembered what Lan Zirui's mother told them. They thought children were a gift from the heavens. That some god will certainly give them children if they please the heavens. They don't know all about intercourse and childbirth. They never saw Lan Zirui's wife after she got pregnant, meaning they don't know about pregnancy either. 

 

Oh, to be young and innocent.

 

"Mmm mmmmph!" Wei Ying stood up and stomped his foot on the ground. He understands why Lan Zhan might want to silence him, still he didn't have to. Being angry Wei Ying stomped out of the field without fighting. Which was very unlikely of him. Before he would struggle and whine to Lan Zhan until he cast off the spell. Later Wei Ying would say sorry even if it wasn't his fault. 

 

Personally Lan Wangji would hate it if Wei Ying was angry with him or ignored him or at worst cast the silencing spell on him. However he thinks his younger self deserves it. He should have a little taste of his own medicine. 

Wei Ying was angry at Lan Zhan, ignored him during class and training, refused to talk to him, he even silenced Lan Zhan every time he tried to apologize. 

It's been going on for two days now. Lan Wangji thought Lan Xichen would interfere with the two or make them apologize to each other. But it looks like he was enjoying watching his brother get frustrated. 

 

Ass.

 

He found Lan Zhan, in his room, sitting on his bed with a gloomy look. Wei Ying was at first delighted then he schooled his expression in an angry look. He really wasn't mad at Lan Zhan, though he continued his act only to mess with him. Silently Wei Ying sat on his study table to work on his half finished report. A moment later a paper bag was shoved near his scroll, with a note stuck on it. Wei Ying scepticallly opened the bag to find warm red bean paste buns in it and opened the note which read " Sorry" in neat handwriting. At this Wei Ying couldn't hold back his angry act anymore. He falls into a fit of laughter rolling on the floor. After a long moment of continuous laughter Wei Ying tried to sit back. He laughed so hard that tears formed in his eyes and his whole face was flushed red. He was still shaking when he tried to say "Lan Zhan!" he bit back the second wave of laughter "I'll forgive you if you call me 'Wei gege.'" 

 

There he goes again.

 

Lan Zhan frowned and fidgets, as if he's considering calling Wei Ying 'gege'. Wei Ying bit back his laughter again then said 

 "Fine you don't have to.Thank you and I'm sorry too. I wasn't really mad,was just acting, still, sorry." Lan Zhan's shoulders dropped and he sighed out of relief. "Wei Ying should be mad, for he didn't deserve to be silenced." 

 

True.

 

Wei Ying giggled while eating the buns "So you won't silence me anymore, will you?" He said with his mouth full. Lan Zhan shook his head and Wei Ying laughed in triumph. 

"So, everything's okay now, between you two?" said Lan Xichen perching on the window sill, chin resting on his palm. From the look of it, He was behind the window the whole time, eavesdropping on them.

 

Ass.

 

Lan Zhan looked at his brother furiously. Wei Ying pulled him in the room, offering the buns that Lan Zhan bought for him. Making Lan Zhan even more furious. When Lan Xichen asked why Wei Ying was mad in the first place, Wei Ying nonchalantly answered "Oh, we were talking about children, when I said I want maphm Mmmmph!" Just like before, Lan Zhan has silenced Wei Ying again. As Wei Ying protested for being silenced Lan Zhan pushed his laughing brother out of the window with him. The spell was undone when both the Lan Brothers were out of earshot. 

 

So much for the drama.

Notes:

I'm having a very bad, no good, writing block. Hope you liked this chapter.

Chapter 19: Let's get ready for business

Notes:

Wei Ying may or may not have ADHD,,,,,, should I tag it???

By the end of the year His communicating talisman was ready to use Or what Lan Wangji guessed by Wei Ying's big bright smile. 

"Done?" Lan Wangji asked, peering from his back. He glanced at the two talismans with the same array drawn on them. It looked very complicated, not something that one would wish to draw from time to time. 

Wei Ying hummed in a thoughtful tone, meaning it was not done yet. "Need a final check up, you know just in case I'm wrong." He collected his empty talisman and notes getting ready to jump out of the window."To the Jingshi"he says. It was nearing nine, if the night patrols catch him he'll be punished again. The fear of being punished makes him more apt to be more expert in being sneaky. He's silent enough not to make a noise while running, fast enough to be out of sight. He has done this enough times for Lan Wangji to not worry. Then again, Lan Wangji is here to check up and sing to him when the path is clear. It's very wrong of him to help Wei Ying break rules. Whatever, he can't bring himself to care.

 

Arriving to the Jingshi Wei Ying opens the door without knocking, he never does. The room was empty so when Wei Ying runs in the bedroom they hear water splashing behind the privacy screen. Lan Zhan was bathing, it was clear. Yet, Wei Ying fake cried saying "Oh, Lan-er-gongzi, where have you disappeared." 

"Stop acting." Lan Zhan said behind the screen.

There was mirth in Wei Ying's smile as he tip-toeed near the screen side. Just when Lan Wangji told him not to peek, Wei Ying peeked inside tilting his head from the screen's border loudly saying "oh there you are!" No sooner did his head tilt,a wave of water was splashed on him. Making him soak from head to waist. He sprawled backwards, falling on his back groaning his complaints. "So cruel Lan Zhan! splashing water on your dear friend in this cold weather, what if I get sick." 

Behind the screen Lan Zhan said nothing. So Lan Wangji replied in his place "You deserve it." Surely Wei Ying was a dear friend to Lan Zhan, they grew up together. Still Lan Wangji knows he won't like to be seen naked by someone else no matter how close they are. Well, not in this type of circumstances, not when Wei Ying was only joking around. 

"Respect privacy." Lan Zhan said after a few moments of silence. Wei Ying laughed "I didn't see anything Lan Zhan! I swear my eyes were closed." After a beat of silence Wei Ying groaned again "What are you so shy about? we're both guys." Getting no response he sat up drying himself with a warming talisman, preparing the table with his notes. "Hurry up Lan Zhan! I'm something to show you." he shook his leg out of impatience. "It must be nice having your own personal place to bathe, with no one knocking behind the gates." 

 

Later when Lan Zhan finished his bath he sat at the opposite side of the table, wrapping his hair with a towel. Wei Ying waited for him to finish so he could show his work without interruption. "You're done?" Lan Zhan asked, eyeing the notebook. Wei Ying nodded enthusiastically, saying "almost done." Wei Ying placed two blank talisman papers on the table and one of his completed talisman paper. Wei Ying described his theory of how the communication  talisman works. The completed talisman had two parallel lines at the center. Wei Ying  draws one line with his spiritual energy and asks Lan Zhan to draw the other. Then Wei Ying copies the rest of the array on his side of the line asking Lan Zhan to do the same with his side. Subsequently  they make another in the same process while finishing the first one. After completing two talismans Wei Ying claps his hand saying "The hard part is finished, now for the part I'm still unsure of." Lan Zhan nods so does Lan Wangji. They watch Wei Ying pour spiritual energy on the array with one finger and write something in the air. A second passes then another, their anticipation makes even a few seconds stretch long. Next thing Lan Wangji knows that the talisman in Lan Zhan's hand glowed golden for a second. Wei Ying's face glows just as much as he says "Pour spiritual energy to open it." Lan Zhan did as he was told and words in golden light appeared in the air just like butterfly messengers does. The massage read: 

            Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan! You're so cute when you're shy!

 

 Lan Zhan's face was of anger but his ears grew red "I'm not shy." He huffed. Wei Ying laughed and flopped on the mat. "So, I guess it works this time, write something to me." Lan Zhan copied what Wei Ying did. Pouring a little spiritual energy and writing something in the air. Again Wei Ying's talisman glowed as he opened the message it read: 

              Wei Ying, Congratulations.

 

The smile Wei Ying gave was the brightest Lan Wangji saw in months, Perhaps years. He laughed with his whole being, eyes crinkling in a half moon shape showing all his teeth. He flops back on the floor and sighs loudly. As if, he was underwater all this time and was finally able to resurface. Lan Wangji's body automatically coiled around Wei Ying for a cingratutory hug, though he's not sure if Wei Ying can hear him. "You did it, Congratulations." Wei Ying raised his hands in the air in a victorious position laughing a little more. 

"So can you ask your father to prepare a private discussion with us, I'm too nervous to show this talisman to Shufu alone." Wei Ying asks Lan Zhan as he lays on his side in Lan Zhan's bed. He stayed over because he was "Too tired to sneak back in." Lan Zhan gives him a confused look before saying, "You can ask him yourself." Wei Ying wiggled beneath the blanket, muttering "I'm too shy." Lan Zhan watches him with a blank face which is understandable. No one would believe Wei Ying if he says he's shy. But Lan Wangji knows beneath his confident mask Wei Ying is shy at heart, nervous in most cases. "Fine." Lan Zhan says after huffing which Lan Wangji knows is a disbelieving laugh. 

 

Next night as promised Lan Qingheng calls him for a discussion which is mostly an excuse for family dinner. Though they don't really talk during dinner time expect Wei Ying whispering to Lan Zhan to exchange his vegetables. After dinner is when their discussion mostly starts. Wei Ying fidgets as the whole Lan family's eye lands on him. "A-Zhan said you made a new talisman for easier communication." Lan Xichen says. He feels grateful to his brother for lightening the mood and starting the conversation. Rest of the conversation can be continued by Wei Ying. When Wei Ying feels ready he shows his and Lan Zhan's talisman Lan Qiren interrupts saying "This better not be as risky as that paperman of yours" instead of getting dejected Wei Ying smiles confidently, "This is completely safe, Shufu." Wei Ying tells the melodramatic story of how lonely he felt when he was away, how much he missed talking with his friends,how the idea came in his head and how he invented this. It was a variation of messenger butterfly spell. But with lesser use of spiritual energy, less worry of getting lost on the way and more distant connection. Wei Ying also said the glow was infused with heat, warm enough to feel through layers of clothing but not enough to burn skin. If any message was sent they can feel the heat if the glow goes unnoticed. The only problem he can find is that for each person they have to make a different talisman "which is really hard but worth it!" 

 

Wei Ying looks expectantly at his uncle. Lan Wangji can't see why uncle should look uncertain. The tailsman man works, it's not dangerous or hateful, why must he be so unsure. Lan Qiren stroked his goatee in a familiar manner. He's thinking whether or not to approve of Wei Ying's invention. He has lost his mind if he disapproves. 

"I think it's wonderful" Lan Qingheng says "more wonderful that you are able to create something so unique at such a young age." He also looks expectantly at his younger brother "Do you not think that too, Qiren."

Lan Qiren at last stops stroking his beard, "Easier communication will make gossiping easier." He points out. Which is true, Lan Wangji was never a fan of gossip, More gossip will mean more untrue rumors. It may cause a great problem if not conducted properly. And not everyone in Lan sect is as conducting as Lan Wangji thought they were.  "If there's light, there will be shadow," Lan Qingheng says ever so unwaveringly, "We can't expect good without the bad, can we?" 

Lan Qiren sighs "Well, we can only hope. You can present this in the next discussion conference, if you wish to make it public." Lan Xichen and Lan Zhan both looked proudly at Wei Ying but Wei Ying looked dumbfounded "Public? M-me? I'll present it? In the discussion conference?" Wei Ying has never attended a discussion conference before, his unsureness was understandable. "You'll do fine, you are good at presentation." Lan Wangji tells him. But Wei Ying's face was as blank as a blank talisman paper, meaning he was still lost in uncertainty.

Lan Qiren and Lan Qingheng talked about the upcoming discussion conference. The Jin's are hosting it along with Jin Zixuan's birthday banquet. So Wei Ying has a lot of time to prepare for the presentation. What's surprising is that Lan Qiren was forcing his older brother to attend the conference, because he has yet to show his face to the cultivational world. "You're saying this because you don't want to attend the Jin Banquet." Lan Qingheng says, exasperating a long breath. Even though Lan Qiren huffs saying it was for Lan Qingheng's own good.Lan Wangji knows how much his uncle detest Jin's banquets. Before the two men could continue their childish fight Lan Xichen interjects with his ever pleasant smile saying "Fuqin, This is a good plan. A-Zhan would love it if you go with us." Lan Zhan on the other hand looks at his brother with a small subtle frown that can be translated as "I never said that." to which his brother replies with another meaningful smile that can mean "Just pretend you did." Lan Qingheng also gave up and accepted to go to the conferences that will be held in future. 

 

As the conference date got closer and closer Wei Ying's anxiety got higher and higher. When others asked if he was okay he'd put up a confident facade saying "Can't wait for the presentation thing! can't stay still." though behind the doors he'd wail yelling "Hell! hell! I am so not ready for the presentation thing! I don't even want to go." And every time Lan Wangji assured him "It'll be fine, just say what you said that night, you're more brave than you think you are." 

 

By that time he checked and rechecked a hundred times if his talisman actually, really, works. He did everything to check out any mistake, anything that might cause a problem later. Which was none. There was no problem with distance, no fear of exploding, no shortcoming he could point out. The only shortcoming, Lan Zhan pointed out, was that one will have to have too many talismans for each person. That could be solved if they made a handy scroll or a book to collect them altogether. 

That didn't mean his anxious fidgeting will stop. He distracted himself with training, group night hunting, studying  or just aimlessly jumping around.  Lan Wangji suggested him various kinds of tea that can help him calm down. Which worked for a few hours. Meditative breathing that only helped him get more anxious. Lastly he suggested that he should play music, his flute. Surprisingly playing flute worked as his mind concentrated on the notes other than what he'll do at the conference.

 

On the day of their departure, Wei Ying looked oddly tired. It was like he spent all his energy worrying over messing things up. What Shizhui called a 'burnout'. He could barely make himself rise from the bed. With great power he washed his face and made himself walk all the way to the dining hall for a light breakfast. Lan Wangji held him for balance, saved him from unconsciously walking up to a tree or taking the wrong turn. He told him everything will be okay if he cancels their plan. That he should take rest. Despite looking thoroughly exhausted, Wei Ying refused to cancel what exhausted him in the first place. "I want to get over with this, As soon as possible." 

 

Lan Zhan noticed Wei Ying's lost eyes and  had to come and push him to get ready for their journey. He packed clothes and notes and everything Wei Ying needed. "Someone's excited." Wei Ying said behind his makeshift privacy screen, a bed sheet. Lan Zhan replied with an excited "Mnn". Wei Ying walked past the screen, wearing his pants and undershirt still struggling with his slash belt knot, he's that tired. Lan Wangji wished he could help him with the knot, well at least  Lan Zhan noticed it and tied the knots for him. "Didn't you say discussion conferences are boring? What are you so excited about?"  

Conferences aren't exactly boring if you are a social person or like to chat with random people. Which Lan Wangji isn't, no matter how much his child self changed he will never prefer crowds of people trying to approach him for the sake of small talk. Not to mention the loud meaningless arguments and shouting during the discussion.

"It's Wei Ying's first conference." Lan Zhan said helping Wei Ying with his outer robes. Wei Ying huffs,"So? shouldn't I be the one excited?". Handing Wei Ying his hair comb, Lan Zhan says, "We'll be in a conference together. For the first time." 

"So you're excited that I'll be suffering together with you?" 

"...Mn." 

Wei Ying laughs brushing his hair, tying his high ponytail with his silk red ribbon, fixing his white forehead ribbon knot beneath it. "No guan?" Lan Zhan asked. He has his elaborate metal guan on, the one he wears during conference meetings. "Do not wear more than three accessories," Wei Ying recited "Better if you wear no accessories." That part is made up. Lan Zhan might have suspected that he has no guan or any kind of accessories as he looked through Wei Ying's drawers. There were two wooden hair pins, those he tucks in his bun when his hair irritates him during studying or working. Later Wei Ying had to describe to him that he already had two ribbons on his head; he doesn't want to add more tangling. 

"And besides," says Wei Ying in his teasing tone, "Guan only looks good on pretty boys like you." He boops Lan Zhan's nose as he laughs to himself. 

Lan Zhan huffs ending the guan conversation, bringing Wei Ying his white boots.  

Notes:

My boy is going to be famous ٩(ˊvˋ)و
That one time Jimin whined "I'm shy~" then proceeded to wriggle his butt,, yeah! that's Wei Ying.

 

If their world had coffee Wei Ying would have chugged ten cup per hour

Chapter 20: Green green the river side grass. Long, long, missing the far road

Notes:

Good day/Night/ whenever you are reading this. I hope this story isn't getting boring.

"Be careful, Don't mess around. Remember the rules." Lan Qiren advised his nephews, Wei Ying specifically. Wei Ying slid an arm around Lan Zhan's shoulder before saying, "Don't worry Shufu, I'll keep an eye on your precious cabbage." making Lan Xichen laugh. 

"You're the one who he should keep an eye on." Lan Qiren barked, "Don't be shameless around there." He glared at Lan Xichen for laughing and said "Don't end up falling in love with someone you barely met." Lan Xichen quickly composed himself despite blushing furiously. He bowed his head for assurances.Though Uncle advised Lan Xichen, it phenomenally provoked Lan Qingheng. He scoffed, though a little annoyed he smilingly said "Or don't start a duel with someone you barley met only because they broke the rules and later realize your feelings for them after they elop with their lover."

Lan Wangji wondered if this was about Lan Qiren or him. In a way it reminds him of his encounter with a certain someone whom he dueled with for breaking a few rules. Had it been the same with Lan Qiren. He shivers at the thought of his Uncle falling in love with his lover's mother.  Blushing even more, Lan Xichen glanced at his latently frowning father and then his bitterly frowning uncle. Lan Qingheng was still bitter about being forced to attend a Jin banquet. Lan Wangji realized that the two brothers fought more than he and Lan Xichen ever did. Luckily Lan Xichen cajoled them out of their polite fight forcing his father to get on the carriage. 

Five days later they arrived at Lanling.

On their journey Lan Zhan had played music of tranquility along with Wei Ying and Lan Xichen.The music helped Wei Ying's anxiety dissipate and he looked well energized. Wei Ying made long "whoa"s as he caught sight of the huge towers of the Jin sect. Arriving at the Koi tower, golden statues could be seen. The paths and the stairs to Pegant hall were decorated with bright golden lanterns.

As gaudy as ever.

"So many stairs." Wei Ying uttered. "Whoever reaches the top first is the winner!" declaring so, Wei Ying starts running,followed by Lan Zhan. 

No cultivator bothered to climb three thousand stairs. They reached the top by the carriage path or by sword. Even though Lan Wangji told that to Wei Ying he was not in the mood to listen. Him and Lan Zhan ran until they were both weak to the knees. They sat(laid) disgracefully on the stairs panting for air like fish out of water. Uncle will really beat them up if he knows. Lan Qingheng slowly came flying on his sword "Tired?" he huffed picking the kids by their collar. They stayed limp and Lan Qingheng carried them like one carries dead fish. 

"Mingjue-ge" Lan Xichen called, Lan Wangji saw Lan Qingheng frown as Lan Xichen waved to Nie Mingjue. "He's a sect leader now, Xichen." 

"Ahh, yes. Sorry. Greetings Sect leader Nie." Nie Mingjue snorted and greeted them. With him was Nie Huaisang, tightly clutched to his brother's leg. As anticipated, Nie Mingjue's father died in early spring. Nie Mingjue managed his duties with ease. The man was not subtle at hiding his experience. Bizarrely, Nie Mingjue claimed to change their violent way of cultivation. It was heard that they will not cultivate their sabers with beast resentful energy as low as possible. Disciples can even choose to train with double edged swords instead of their trademark single edged one's. 'To decrease their risk of Qi deviation' it may be a safe step. 

Perhaps, dying once makes a man a bit smarter. 

The servants led Wei Ying to his guest chamber. The room, Lan Wangji noticed, was not as ostentatious as Lan Wangji had spent his time in there. During his stay Lan Wangji was given rooms that were too decorative for his taste. This room was nowhere near. Was he treated based on their status? Did the Jins think low of Wei Ying?

Regardless, Wei Ying was fascinated. It's more fancy than Wei Ying ever saw. He jumped on the bed, bouncy. He looked at himself in the mirror, huge. He examined the cosmetics, too many that he didn't know what was for what. Lan Wangji told him to rest, as in a few hours the conference will begin and he needed to save energy. Wei Ying bathed on the ceramic bathtub, with fragrant soaps,used too many different hair oils and facial creams all at once and fell asleep. 

"Wake me up in time." He said before drifting off. He didn't have to remind Lan Wangji, he has been doing this for a long time now. 

It was Lan Zhan who came to fetch him for the conference. On their way to pageant hall he heard faint cries of young girls by the small artificial pond. Wei Ying skidded his way to the fountain out of curiosity. Three little girls from the Luo clan. One of the girls consoled the others saying, "Don't cry Mianmian, we'll buy you a new one." 

Ahh.. Mianmian! The small girl in front of them was Luo Qingyang, namely Mianmian. Lan Wangji almost forgot about her. The girl whom Wei Ying saved from getting branded. The girl who stood up for Wei Ying, who left her clan and insulated the Cultivational world for their partial judgements. The small frail little girl was her. Lan Wangji was astonished, a little awed by her adorableness. 

"Why are you crying Mianmian?" Wei Ying asked with concern. The girls though didn't seem moved by his concern. 'Mianmian' particularly looked angry but her tearful eyes subdued her efforts. "Who are you and why are you calling me Mianmian?" 

"She called you Mianmian, why can't I? Is that not your name?" 

"No, why should I tell you as you ask?" 

"Don't you know," the other Luo girl said,"Before asking somebody else's name, you should tell yours." .

Lan Wangji knew what was coming after that. He rolled his eyes and let Wei Ying play.Wei Ying bit back his grin, crossing his arms as if he was really serious. Bowing, he said, "My name is Wei Yuandao." 

The girls looked confused. They kept murmuring his name was weird, trying to figure out which clan he was from. They were too young to tell by the plain whiteness of his robes as many other cultivators also wore white. Behind him Lan Zhan grunts, it's rare for him to grunt like that, "Frivolous." And Wei Ying fails to keep his act, falling into fits of laughter. 

"Ahh.. Lan-er-gongzi." The girls exclaimed and bowed. So they already know Lan Zhan, not surprised. Lan Zhan had attended more conferences to be known. Lan Zhan bowed back. Luo Qingyang looked at Wei Ying as he was still shaking out of mirth and murmured to herself, "Lan disciple with a red ribbon…."

  Oh, Wei Ying was not as unknown as he assumed. 

"You must be Wei Wuxian! Why did you lie about your name?" She asked with a subtle whine. Wei Ying laughed again, trying really hard to stop himself. Lan Zhan answered for him, "Wordplay." The girls tried to understand how it was a word play, where it was deliberated from. Wei Ying whezzed more and Lan Zhan sighed and said, "Poetry, Green green the river side grass. Long, long, missing the far road." Cue to that Wei Ying laughed even more loudly as Luo Qingyan figured out what Wei Ying wanted to mean.

"You teased me!" she shouted as her face got redder "Who misses you!" she stomped her foot.

Wei Ying bit his lips to stop himself from laughing. "But you stopped crying! right?" So that was Wei Ying's plan, to stop her from crying. The girls seemed surprised too. Luo Qingyang looked shy as she complained that it was not needed, she would have stopped eventually. "You didn't answer me, why were you crying?" One of the  Luo girls pointed to the pond saying, "We were looking for fishes and her hair clip fell." 

"Master will be angry, it was really expensive." Luo Qingyang pensviely says .

Wei Ying looked inside the pond. The water was algae green, unclear, untaken care of. The pond was itself shallow, knee deep. They could dunk their hand and look for the clip. Only for the unclear water, the main problem. They can't even see where the clip was. "Alright!" Wei Ying shouted, taking his arm braces off. He hands over them to Lan Zhan. Rolling his draping sleeves he kneels and dunks his hand inside. There were astonished gaspes but Lan Wangji isn't even surprised anymore. He half expected Wei Ying to  jump on the pond. Wei Ying blindly searched, peacing his hand left and right, turning the murky water even more unclear. Lan Wangji had no other choice but to dive inside, water won't affect him anyway. 

Inside was dark and yet Lan Wangji looked around to look for any jewelry pieces. Luckily he didn't have to work hard. The hair clip gleamed dimly at the far left side where Wei Ying's hands were digging the mud. Lan Wangji pushed Wei Ying's hand, leading him to the clip. With a victorious shout Wei Ying presented the pink beaded hair clip to everyone. The girls squealed with happiness and thanked Wei Ying for his generosity. "I'm sorry you had to get your robes dirty for me. I have nothing to pay you back." Luo Qingyang says, looking at Wei Ying's sleeves. At some point his sleeve draped over the water,catching algae and mud. Wei Ying laughs it off saying "You don't owe me anything, it's what friends are for." Just like that, Wei Ying befriended them. The girls also looked happy to be called his friend. Altogether they went to the pageant hall where their respective elders waited for them. Lan Xichen asked what happened to Wei Ying's sleeves and lightly washed it up with clean water from his water bag. 

"Next time be more careful." Lan Qingheng said,"Saving yourself is as important as saving others." Lan Wangji had told the same to Wei Ying over a hundred times. Who's he to listen.

 

As Wei Wuxian entered the pageant hall his name was announced after the Lan family members. His continuous woah sounds made the nearby maids giggle. He examined the huge chandelier at the center of the ceiling. "It doesn't fall?" 

"No" 

"What if it did." 

"That would be horrific." 

"Yeah..." 

The maids led them to their assigned seats which were directly opposite to the Jiang's seats. As Lan Qingheng was busy greeting everyone, Wei Ying's eyes fell on the Jiang siblings. He called for them loudly waving his hands. Jiang Wanyin looked pissed as he shushed him, mouthing shut up. While Jiang Yanli waved back with a shy smile. In a moment Jin Guanshan and his son's arrival was announced. They both carried the same arrogant air while walking up to the throne. 

 

Lan Wangji braced himself for the upcoming annoyance. When he retired he was very glad that he didn't have to face this again. Who would have thought he'd be here again slumped on Wei Ying's shoulder. Sect leaders greeted the host with fake sweet words, and the host greeted them back with even more fake sweet words. They mourned how sect leader Wen couldn't be present, crying at the Wen substitute how hard he works.

It prickled Lan Wangji's ears and he wanted to vomit over their sweetness. Especially sect leader Yao. Sect leader Ouyang was no better. He still couldn't believe he is the grandfather of Sizhui's sweet friend. Afterwards everyone's attention shifted to Lan Qingheng. The man looked extremely uncomfortable with So many people staring at him. 

"I feel so honored that Sect leader Lan finally blessed us with his wonderful  presence. Cheers to Sect leader Lan." He held up his wine cup, drinking from it at one go. Thanking for the compliment Lan Qingheng drank a sip for the sake of diplomacy. The children were given tea. Wei Ying drank along with a brave face just as Lan Xichen taught him. "We were extremely disheartened to know of your wife's death." Jin Guanshan said. He really had to bring the dead, making the whole family uncomfortable. Lan Wangji wanted to tell him to stop, yet the man continued. "She had incurable illness, who knew she will leave us so soon." He looked pitifully at the Lan Brothers.,"They're growing without a mother's care." he and some other sect leaders sighed in melancholy. 

Fake. Fake. Fake.

"That can be changed if the Lan sect leader wants." Jin Guanshan says switching his voice from mournful to cheerful. "There are many beautiful women who can enchant your eyes." He says with a smirk. To Jin Guanshan women were only an object of pleasure, the depth of love and respect meant nothing to him. Sect leader Yao straightens up to say something, presumably how he knows just the perfect woman who just happens to be his sister but Lan Qingheng declares just before him. "I do not wish to remarry or enchant my eyes." His emphasis on the enchant made Sect leader Yu snort behind her sleeves. Jin Guanshan laughs nervously before saying, "Think of your children, sect leader Lan. They need to be cared for, You and your brother are both men with duties, You can't waste your time on children, can you?" The other old sect leaders agreed saying "children are tiring", "they distract from duties", "a man has his needs" "I know a woman who will take good care of them" Only female sect leaders such as Sect leader Yu and Sect leader Luo stayed quiet.Sect leader Jiang was smiling a pitiful smile and nodded now and then. Lan Wangji noticed Lan Zhan's shoulder shake while he gripped on his robes tightly, his face though showed no anger. Lan Xichen's face was blank, a practiced calm. There's a huge possibility that this wasn't the first time they are facing such a situation. Lan Qingheng had a small crease between his brows. He held up one hand to stop everyone from talking amongst themselves. As the hall grew quiet he solemnly stated "Taking care of my children is part of my duty. My children are well cared for, they don't need a new mother." 

Lan Wangji never regarded his father as a dutiful man, let alone a dutiful father. No, his father was not. The man before him is Lan Zhan's father, not his. For many reasons, things aren't the same as it was for Lan Wangji. If not for Wei Ying bargging in his cottage of solitude he would have been the man Lan Wangji always knew of. 

"It's what you say," Sect leader Yao shouted. It continued with others fearlessly shouting and yelling whatever they wanted.

"How do we know your children don't need a new mother?" 

"Maybe he forced them by saying one of their three thousand rules." 

The hall grew astonishingly silent with muffled noise for an instance as Sect leaders struggled to open their mouths. They acted like their lips were glued together in their mouth. Just then Lan Zhan loudly gritted out, "We don't need a new mother." His shoulder slumped down as soon as the sect leaders could open their mouths, to huff for air, to laugh out loud, to wonder what just happened. 

It then made sense to Lan Wangji. Lan Zhan had casted the silencing spell on everyone to speak his mind. Every single person was under the silencing spell. He can't help but be proud of his younger self.

Not bad.

A brave step, To cast a spell on so many people at once requires confident, a lot of energy. Despite being so young and vulnerable to Qi deviation, he had done it.

Lan Wangji always wanted to do that. Though he wished these people to be scared, not find it funny. They even had the audacity to whisper among themself "What an ostentatious act, I thought the Lan clan followed simplicity." ,"Showing off his skills at such a young age.","Arrogant as his father.","Think he's so good." Jin Guanshan petulantly told them to quiet down though he looked like he was enjoying the drama. 

"What Lan Zhan did was not wrong." Wei Ying loudly declared. As soon as everyone's attention was averted to him he stood up giving a lousy bow. He held his head high, "Lan Zhan silenced everyone because none of you would listen to what he had to say." Hands still clasped in front he swallowed hard he bowed to Jin Guanshan and said, "Qinheng-jun doesn't wish for a new wife, Xichen Shixiong and Wangji Shixiong does not wish for a new mother either. Please do not impose your wish on them." The hall quietly observed him. Jin Guanshan's face darkens like an old used pot. He looked like he wanted to kick Wei Ying down his three thousand stairs before Sect leader Ouyang shouts,"And who are you to say we're imposing." 

"Some Lan disciple," someone beside the man whispered. 

"I- This one is Wei Wuxian, please excuse  my impertinence." Wei Ying bowed with his head looking down. 

"Don't lower your head." Lan Wangji tells him, these people don't deserve that respect. Wei Ying helds his head up high again as another wave of whispers crashed through his brave act. "That's Lan Qiren's infamous ward.", "That one named Red Lotus of Gusu?" "What ward? Lan Qiren had a ward of his own?" "Red Lotus of Gusu? what stupid name." "Is the Lan clan forgetting all their ettiqute?" "What are the Lans teaching their children nowadays?" "Signs of doomsday I assure you that." 

Lan Wangji wished he had the power to use the silencing spell. He'd silence them forever if he could. Jin Guanshan finally stood up to tell the hall to quiet down. "Wei Wuxian you say?" He says as looking Wei Ying up and down. " I never heard of the Wei clan… What's your father's name? what does he do?" 

"I'm the son of Wei Changze, he was a rough cultivator before his death." Wei Ying answers. The word 'orphan' resonated within the hall. It didn't waverd Wei Ying a little. He was used to being called an orphan, he had long since accepted that. "Wei Changze? The name sounds familiar." Jin Guanshan murmured thoughtfully, "What was he before becoming a rough cultivator?" he added.

Wei Ying swallowed visibly before answering,"He, as far as I know, was a servant in Yunmeng Jiang clan." The crowd started to gossip again, ''servant'' and ''servant's son" echoed in the hall. Jin Guanshan sipped his wine before he gasped "Ah! Changze! that boy with Sect leader Jiang!" He looked at Jiang Fengmian for confirmation. The man nodded. "Yes, Wei Wuxian is his son." 

"Sect leader Jin should ask Wuxian about his mother." Lan Qingheng curtly reminded him.

"Mothers don't carry their sons' reputation, do they? Who is his mother anyways." Jin Guanshan nonchalantly asked. "It does." came from a weak, meek voice from Luo Qingyang. No one paid attention to her as if she didn't say anything at all. Lan Wangji wished they did.

"My mother is Cangse Sanren." 

After a beat of silence, people started to gossip again."Isn't that the name of that immortal's disciple?" "who?" "Baoshan Sanren I think." "You want to say an immortal's disciple married a mere servant?" " That's why I say women have no taste in men." "what if he's lying" "Only sect leader Jiang knows the truth." They all looked to where Sect leader Jiang was giving a strained smile. "Yes, his mother was an immortal's pupil. Lan disciples don't lie." 

Wei Ying lets out a breath of relief. His clenched jaw loosened up as Jiang Fengmian gave him a reassuring smile. Wei Ying was going to hold onto that forever, Lan Wangji knows. Lan Wangji thought that'd make the crowd shut up. To his dismay they started gossiping even more. About Wei Ying's cultivational strength, Lan Qiren favoring him more, That he's only good because his mother's master is an immortal cultivator. 

Ridiculous! Lan Wangji thought.  Utterly ridiculous. 

"Don't listen to them." he told Wei Ying. 

Wei Ying was brave, nevertheless he was a child. Lan Wangji is surprised even after so much bashing and accusation he could stand still holding his head high. He was getting very close to breakdown, hands shaking slightly. 

"umm…" said Luo Qingyang, raising her hands weekly. "Shouldn't we start the conference?"  

"Children shouldn't tell the elders what to do." Sect leader Yao barked. Luo Qingyang got a scolding glare from her Sect leader and she glanced at Wei Ying apologetically before looking down. 

"She's right." Lan Qingheng says "It's time we start the conference instead of idle gossip." He side eyed Sect leader Yao. "Wuxian, please sit down now." Lan Qingheng told him in his usual gentle tone. The gentle tone he didn't use since entering the hall. It was comforting. 

Wei Ying sat down and gave a wide smile to Luo Qingyang for interjecting in the gossip. Luo Qingyang smiled back with a nod. A secret way of showing gratitude.

Maybe this time they can be better friends. And if Lan Zhan doesn't get jealous, he too can be friends with her. Though Lan Wangji, in his life, was angry at first, after seeing how she stood up for Wei Ying… Lan Wangji wanted a friend like her.

 

The conference regains its pace with Lan Qingheng bringing up the problems with water ghouls at the borders of Gusu and Yunmeng. Children silently watch their elders negotiating, arguing, questioning each other's decisions. Wei Ying secretly rubs Lan Wangji's back while he rests on his lap. Neither of them paid attention to what was going on in the hall. Focusing on calming their frantic heart. He'll be the center of their irrational questions once again. 

Notes:

hi~
So, for the three thousand stairs in Koi tower, I don't know if it's real or something that stuck in my mind,, maybe it was from 2ha.. anyways I just added because it felt right.

As for Mianmian, I'll go for the novel part. Though in the novel her clan name was not mentioned, I'll just name her clan Luo clan, making her a honourable member (not hier) of her clan instead of making her a servant.

 Lan Wangji calls Zizhen "Sizhui's sweet friend"
*

Wei Ying: *Playfully teasing Mianmian*
Lan Zhan: *animal noise*

*
Lan Wangji *Retiring from his duties*: Finally innner peace. ( ˘_˘ )
Lan Wangji * returns back to old time* : Ah shit, here we go again.

*
Children: *does something to defend themself*
Elders: Dooms day! end of this world is nearing, children are getting out of our hand, curse them.

*
Straight men upon realising they were not chosen by an immortal disciple: She had no brain, no common sense, no taste.

 

I know I'm stretching the story with unnecessary dialogues, but I have to get them out of my mind or can't sleep. Let me know what you perfer.

Chapter 21: Brighter than golds

Notes:

Even if I don't reply to your company, just know that I really appreciate you!!! it's just I don't know what to reply. take my love idk( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

The conference talked about various topics, which region was doing good, which region was doing bad, which sect should pay more attention to their region,business, trades etc. At the end of the conference Lan Qingheng brought up the talisman Wei Ying had invented. Some sect leader snorted,not believing him completely. Lan Qingheng encouraged Wei Ying to explain  his invention to the present crowd. Wei Ying very bravely shows his talisman and how it works. He explained a better version of what he had explained to the Lan family. 

Bewildered by a new invention completely invented by a child of ten years, the crowd didn't look amused.

"How is it better than messenger butterflies?" asked Nie Mingjue, being the first to show interest.

Wei Ying smiled at him for the encouragement he unknowingly gave,"Well, suppose our spiritual energy is stored in a pot. " He says holding an imaginary pot, "When we use a messenger butterfly we use a whole half pot for each message. But in this case," he holds up the two talisman "we dunk a brush in the pot of spiritual energy and write what we want." 

"We still have to use a good amount of spiritual energy."

"Yes. We have to. But it's less than the other options we have." 

Nie Mingjue nodded in a thoughtful way. Beside him Nie Huaisang looked very excited, like he wanted to use the talisman right then. "Anyone can read the message, what if our enemies see them." Sect leader Ouyang said. "Our enemies will easily plan an attack on us if it's so easy," said sect leader Yao. Then another sect leader barked, "It'll bring more chaos." One after one they brought up excuses to take down Wei Ying's proposal. Sect leader Jin pretended like he didn't care about anything but his wine. 

"Don't accept it if you don't like it." Lan Zhan says standing up. Looking at his little brother Lan Xichen aslo stands up bowing and saying "If you think the talisman is no good,you're welcome to reject our proposal." The both brothers looked at Wei Ying apologetically, for if he's angry at them for making an unplanned decision. Wei Ying gave them a nod and smiled in appreciation. Then they looked at their father for any sign of disappointment. Lan Qingheng shook his head and slowly said, "If the talisman is not liked by none, Lan sect will label it as sect special." 

If the talisman gets the sect's special label, no one other than the Lan sect can use it.If someone was found using it,they'll get punished for stealing. It seems to make the crowd think twice before saying anything. Jin Guanshan now looked like he was considering it but didn't want to accept the fact that the inventor was a child, a child of a servant nevertheless. Also the same child who insulted him just hours ago.

"Nie sect approves" Nie Mingjue declares loudly, "we would like to use your talisman." He says to Wei Ying as his younger brother beside him claps for him. Wei Ying looked really happy at Nie Huaisang's excitement.

"Yu sect approves." 

"Luo sect approves." 

"Jiang sect approves." 

Slowly smaller sects started to give their approval as well. Yao sect and Ouyang sect reluctantly approved as well, even the Wen representatives gave their approvals. Which left only the Jin sect. "Since everyone approved, who am i to say no." He claps his hands and fake laughs. Later a date was discussed when the sect will send disciples to learn the usage of talisman and what they owed to the Lan sect. None of those were Wei Ying's concerns. He sat on his seat, quickly but nervously eating his meal. Lan Wangji congratulated him saying that he did well, he was brave, but Wei Ying's face showed that he had temporarily gone deaf, his consciousness was out of the world. 

 

With a blank face Wei Ying walked toward his room after the conference was done. He was still lost in his thoughts and Lan Wangji had to guide him the way. From behind Lan Zhan came running, immediately holding his wrist to stop him from walking like a corpse. "Wei Ying?" he asked. Wei Ying narrowed his eyes as if registering who he was,"oh, Lan Zhan. Do you need something?" 

"Is Wei Ying mad at me?"

"No? Why do you think that?" 

Lan Zhan let go of his wrist to hold his hand. Looking at their joined hand he murmurs, "I didn't stand up for Wei Ying when they were insulting him." Wei Ying tried to understand what he was talking about. "Luo Qingyang stopped them when I was not brave enough to do so." he whispers "I'm sorry." Wei Ying gaped and then laughed. "Lan Zhan! why are you being sorry for it!" he takes the other free hand, holding them together he says, "That's what friends are for right? We look out for each other." Wei Ying then pats Lan Zhan's shoulder before gently saying "You stood up for me more than I ever did for you. Don't be sorry as you too were facing the same situation." 

"Still, I should have."

"Do you know what you shouldn't have?" Wei Ying probes in a low scolding tone. "Casting a silencing spell on a big crowd of people. You could have collapsed Lan Zhan! you could have Qi deviate." He shakes Lan Zhan's shoulders, as if that will bring him back to his senses. "Don't ever do that again." 

Lan Zhan averts his eyes with a small pucker of his lips. "I should have done this when they were talking nonsense about you." 

"No," cried Wei Ying. "That's exactly what I'm telling you not to do." 

"How should I stand up for Wei Ying?" Lan Zhan demands. Lan Wangji is surprised at his confidence, how easily he asked something Lan Wangji always struggled with. 

"Don't fight in my stead, just stay by my side . I'll do the same." Wei Ying says, smiling brightly. Nodding Lan Zhan smiles back with his small smiles. 

Lan Wangji wanted to say that it was nearing nine and they should go to sleep. But he didn't want to disturb two tired children who were finally relaxing, sitting on the hallway stairs, gazing at the stars, talking about the food, about how bright the pathways here are, about anything random.

"You said 'Wangji shixiong'" Lan Zhan recalls. Wei Ying nervously laughed saying "I thought if I call you by your name they'll think I'm insulting you. And my brain couldn't come up with any better way to say your name." 

"Not insulting. But you could call me Zhan-ge ."  

The audacity this kid has!

Wei Ying huffs playfully punching Lan Zhan's shoulder, "Why should I call you Gege when I'm older?" 

"I am taller." 

"Pah- ridiculous! Nonsense! You should be calling me Gege." 

"Wei Ying is Wei Ying."

"Zhan-ge is so rude,he won't call Wei Ying Gege." Wei Ying whines, pouts and falls dramatically on the floor.

Their peaceful, fun conversations were only disturbed when Nie Huaisang called for them loudly. He was being accompanied by the Jiang siblings or rather he dragged them with him because he was too scared to walk alone. "Wei-Xiong! You were so cool out there! I'd have peed my pants if I were you!" Nie Huaisang cries out making Wei Ying laugh. He bowed to the Jiang siblings, Jiang Yanli bowed back as Jiang Wanyin rolled his eyes with a lousy bow. "Wei Gongzi was really brave there. And congratulations on your successful invention." She says in her gentle diplomatic way. She was a few inches taller than Wei Ying, perfect height to pat Wei Ying's head. Lan Wangji remembers hearing Wei Ying loudly declare that her headpats could cure any illness. He wonders if his little Wei Ying would feel the same. Wei Ying fidgeted at her compliment, thanking her shyly. "Sect leader Jin will continue to stay mad at you though." Jiang Wanyin crossed his arms over his chest. He was shorter than Wei Ying, but their height ratio was the same as when they were teens. Wei Ying can easily slide his arms over his shoulder. Wei Ying used to call his brother his personal armrest. 

Jiang Wanyin's sister nudged his shoulder for bashing sect leader Jin. "What? you know it's true. Have you seen his face when he accused him of imposing."  He huffed. Wei Ying nervously picked his sleeves saying, "I will apologize to him later." Out of nowhere Jiang Wanyin pushed his chest before loudly saying,"Don't do that! I swear." 

"A-Cheng! Don't push." 

But he had already pushed and Lan Zhan was ready to push him back. If not for Jiang Yanli he might have. 

Why is he always so brash.

"Wei Gongzi can do what he thinks is right." Jaing Yanli says, "But I'll suggest not to." 

"He'll make you lick his feet." Jiang Wanyin groans. Wei Ying cringes, presumably imagining licking Jin Guanshan's feet figuratively.  He asks why he shouldn't apologize, Jiang siblings tells him he'll understand soon. Nie Huaisang also expressed his annoyances and how his brother hates that man. Though Lan Wangji knows they are gossiping, talking behind someone's back, and it can go to Jin Guanshan's ear thanks to his numerous servants, Lan Wangji didn't want to interfere with Wei Ying's opportunity to befriend the Jiang Yanli and agonizingly Jiang Wanyin. If all goes well, Lan Wangji can see him laugh around them, just like he saw his Wei Ying do. 

It was mainly Nie Huaisang who did the most talking. He sounded like he was the common friend of both sides. He cried and whined saying his golden core wasn't developing no matter how much he tried. Now he can't use the talisman. He doesn't even have a sword like them. Wei Ying told him he was unique this way. Jiang Yanli consoled him saying he'll have to keep trying. 

"Your sword is very pretty, can I see?" Wei Ying asked. Without any hesitation Jiang Yanli gave him her sword. Her sword has a lavender scabbard with silver lotus at the base and water hyacinth designed on the hilt with a tiny frog shaped head atop. "Sande, her name" she states. "Three virtues of moral heart." She explained.

 Wei Ying wanted to see Jiang Wanyin's sword as well but he, as always, acted cocky, saying, "not unless you show me yours." Wei Ying shows his sword cheerfully saying "Suibian, it's name." He got the expressions he anticipated. After a good laugh he explained why he named his sword literally 'whatever'. 

Jiang Wanyin rolled his eyes showing his sword, it's as purple as Lan Wangji remembers. However he also has a frog head at the top of its hilt. Influenced by his sister maybe. "Sandu, three poisons of heart" 

"Why'd you name your sword that?" Wei Ying asked with a frown.

"Because, No poison, no great man." 

As much as Lan Wangji detest Jiang Wanyin, he can agree that the name suits the wielder.

Except that he isn't a great man, no.  

 

Wei Ying's sowrd, Jiang Yanli said, has the same design of their fathers, sect leader Jiang's sword. When Wei Ying told them about how he designed his sword Jiang Yanli remarks, "Wei shushu's sword was given by father. Maybe that's why." Just as she said 'Wei shushu' Wei Ying's eyes lit up with hope. He looked like he wanted to cry and ask more about his father. Lan Wangji reminds him it's okay if he wants to ask, it won't hurt her. But before he could ask, Sect leader Jiang arrived there, looking for his children. "I was looking for Wuxian, good that you two are here too." Everyone immediately bowed to the man. Jiang Fengmian nods in return asking Wei Ying "I hope they are being good to you." Wei Ying quickly says that they are more than good as Jiang Wanyin mutters under his breath saying "Yeah yeah, good."  Jiang Yanli spoke about Wei Ying's sword to her father. He checks Wei Ying's sword with surprisingly tearful eyes. "It's a nice design, I'm surprised you remembered it." Wei Ying shyly nods. "Then, do you remember your time when you lived in Lotus pier with your family?" Wei Ying shakes his head, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground. 

"A-die, he was only three, Wei gongzi can't remember that." 

Jiang Yanli's words made Jiang Fengmian chuckle. "So, A-Xian can't remember playing with Jiejie." 

"A-die, don't!" Jiang Yanli cries, hiding her face behind her sleeves. Wei Ying, now blushing, stared wide eyed at the man. Too stunned to speak, Wei Ying only makes squeaking sounds as he tries to form any word. It made Jiang Fengmian laugh, not loudly but it felt real for once, "Wuxian, do you know, A-Li used to carry you on her cradle all the time. You'd cry if she ever put you down to pick up A-Cheng." Jiang Wanyin huffs with annoyance as if he actually remembers Wei Ying loudly crying. "No one, not even your mother could stop you from crying. You only stopped when she was playing with you." Wei Ying listened to him intently with big wide eyes. His face clearly expressed that he wanted to hear more. "Do you know what your favorite game was?" 

"A-die, please!" 

Jiang Fengmian ignored his daughter's protest saying, "She'd tap your nose and  ask, 'How old is Xianxian', and you'd loudly declare 'three'." He laughed more as Wei Ying gaped at the relevaation, his face still red. Beside him Nie Huaisang giggled and Jiang Wanyin huffed more. Jiang Yanli's face was also red but she,too, giggled remembering the lost memories. 

"I-" Wei Ying gasped out, "Thankyou for telling me, Sect leader Jiang." He bowed sincerely. Jiang Fengmian pats his head saying "You can call me Jiang shushu."

Wei Ying nodded again but didn't dare to call. Jiang Fengmian looked at Nie Huaisang and Lan Zhan who have been mostly silent all this time. "I'm sorry to interrupt your get-together, I'll leave. A-Cheng, behave."  With his warning he left the premises, leaving Wei Ying awkward with the Jiang siblings. 

"Is Wei-Xiong shy now?" Nie Huaisang teased Wei Ying by bumping their shoulders.

"Wha-no! I-" he scrambles a hand inside his qiankun sleeve, bringing out a few blank talisman papers. He asks if he can have a shared talisman with them. "We can talk more, if you want." 

"We'd love to." 

With Jiang Yanli's confirmation Wei Ying repeats the process of making the communicating talisman while explaining how to make it. When she was asked "will this be okay, this information isn't public yet." Wei Ying nonchalantly waved his hands saying it was no problem, that it was a gift from him. While Nie Huaisang whined about not getting the opportunity, The Jiang siblings followed Wei Ying's instructions. With two tries Jiang Yanli was able to make her talisman while her brother needed to try four times. "Be patient A-Cheng!" Wei Ying told him at his third try. Though Jiang Wanyin barked out "Don't call me that!" he didn't further his fight. 

When it was time to return to their rooms Wei Ying hesitated as if he wanted to talk more. Nie Huaisang begged Lan Zhan to go along with him, their rooms were close to each other somehow. Jiang Wanyin marched to where his supposed room should be. 

 "Wei Ying can ask what he wants." 

"Shut up Wuming!" 

He ran to Jiang Yanli saying, "Umm- Jiang Guniang!" 

"Wei Gongzi? Do you need something?" 

With a bright red face he quickly confesses, "I- You can, Please call me Xianxian like you did before when we're children. So it won't be weird for you to do so, you're.. you call my father shushu, so, it's not like we're unknown to each other-" 

"A-Xian, calm down." Jiang Yanli gently pats his head with a full smile. It calmed Wei Ying's nervous talking and he breathed again. 

"Then, Xianxian has to call me Jiejie too." 

Wei Ying fidgeted, darting his eyes here and there, "It won't be nice if a nobody like me calls you Jiejie, you're a respectable clan heir. People will talk badly about it. " 

"A-Xian shouldn't worry about how people will talk, And you're not a nobody." She lightly taps his nose "You invented a whole new talisman, you're a strong cultivator, how can you be a nobody." 

"But I-" 

"A-Xian is more than worthy of calling me Jiejie." 

Wei Ying's shoulders slouched down, with soft eyes he stares at her "Then, I hope Jiejie can continue to care for her Xianxian." 

"Jiejie will always care for her Xianxian." She huffed, tapping Wei Ying's nose again.

Wei Ying laughed quietly, the one he does when he's too tired but happy at the same time. He inhales and exhales "You have a nice smell. It feels nice." 

"It's lotus perfume schatchet, here I have an extra." saying so she hands over a perfume pouch to Wei Ying. He inhales the smell and sighs as if the smell alone relieved his tiredness. 

"Thankyou," he whispers. 

"A-Jie! Hurry up. what are you doing?" Jiang Wanyin ran to them to snatch his sister's wrist. "And you can call him A-Cheng." Jiang Yanli says. 

"No you can't!" Jiang Wanyin pulled out his tongue dragging his sister to their way. 

"I'll call you Jiang Cheng then!" Wei Ying mimicked Jiang Wanyin's gesture, throwing it back to him, he laughed.

 

In his room, Wei Ying inhaled the perfume pouch over and over again. 

"Does Wei Ying love it?" 

Wei Ying hummed with closed eyes, "I think, mother used to smell like this." 

Lan Wangji didn't think Wei Ying would remember what his mother smelled like, then again Lan Wangji thought back to his childhood. He can't remember his mother's face clearly but he remembers how she smelled like the gentians of her garden. He clutched that memory with an iron grip. Whenever he'd enter the gentian garden, he felt nostalgic. He felt like home.

"I don't exactly remember but" Wei says "When I smell this, I think of myself cradled in her arms, I can hear ripples of water crashing on wooden surface, I can see a river of pink flowers. Maybe those were lotuses, maybe that's what I  remember from our stay in Lotus pier." Wei Ying drifts off to sleep slowly, peacefully replaying the memory with a soft smile. Lan Wangji coils around him and Wei Ying hugs him back. He loves Wei Ying so much, he wished he could turn back time and take Wei Ying to his mother. It was too much to wish for, he was already given a chance, he should be grateful for this.

 

*

 

Jin Zixuan's birthday banquet starts at noon. Wei Ying had woken up late at seven in the morning. His breakfast and bath water was brought to his room and he had more than enough time to get ready. Although he brought his blue ceremonial robes, he refused to put it on. All this time Lan Zhan was the one to help him doning ceremonial robes, tying complicated beautiful knots. Wei Ying belived Lan Zhan, as always, would come soon to fetch him. He waited, looked through the cosmetics of oils and creams, applied them perfectly with Lan Wangji's help. He twirled with his flute, impatiently waiting for his friend. When he could wait no longer he went out to look for him in his inner robes. 

Walking a bit further he saw Lan Zhan and Luo Qingyang crouched beside the pond. Did she lose her hair clip again?  

That didn't seem like the case. Her hair clip was neatly placed on her complex bun. He noticed Lan Zhan was speaking with Luo Qingyang and she spoke with him too. 

"I guess Lan Zhan is busy, I'll wear the robe myself." Wei Ying weakly murmurs.

This cannot be happening. Lan Zhan didn't look anything near busy. He doesn't understand what made Wei Ying think that he was busy. Whatever it was, Wei Ying sounded sad. There was going to be a miscommunication. Lan Wangji knows this from experience and it never results into something good. "Wei Ying should check out," he says. 

"Lan Zhan is… talking to Mianmian. He doesnt talk with others that much. It's  good that he is. I shouldn't bother."

"Wei Ying is not a bother. They are your friends, they won't be bothered by you." 

"But-"

"I know you want to know what they are talking about, you should go, ask." 

"Urgh, fine." Wei Ying marches up to them slowly, yet Lan Zhan notices him as soon as he steps into the courtyard. The boy runs to him saying, "Shameless. Why are you out like this?" 

"I was waiting for you to come and help me." 

"I was on my way." 

"And got distracted with Mianmian. Ow Lan Zhan, forgetting about your poor little friend for a girl, should I tell Shufu how fast you're growing up." 

"Ridiculous." Then pointing at the pond "There are fish. Koi fish." 

When they came near the pond Luo Qingyang greeted Wei Ying formally, 

"None of that, I call you Mianmian, you should call me by my name too." He then looked to the pond. The pond was unrecognizable as there was clear water with back and white marbles beneath. Various colored koi fish swam in the water. With amusement they all silently watched the fish swim aimlessly and Wei Ying started to name each fish with how they looked and acted. It was mostly funny names based on noticeable characteristics that made both Mainmian and Lan Zhan giggle.

"Wei Wuxian, you should start getting ready. You wouldn't want to miss the opening ceremony." Luo Qingyang says.

"What happens in the opening ceremony?"

"Dancing and singing! you'll love it." 

Lan Wangji knows Wei Ying will love it, even if he never saw a grand dance. 

"You should not come out in inner robes, it's indecent." Lan Zhan says helping him with his robes. Wei Ying huffed saying, "whose fault was it to keep me waiting." 

"Wei Ying should be more patient." Wei Ying combed his hair, tying a ponytail he says,"Mianmian's hairstyle was pretty wasn't it."

"Mn" Lan Zhan responses.

"Lan Zhan, do you like Mianmian?"

 Lan Wangji cannot believe he has to hear Wei Ying say this horrendous line again. Though the situation is different it's still horrendous to hear. 

"Mn." his younger self blankly responded after a beat of silence. 

"Wha- Really? You like her?" Lan Zhan arched his brow asking, "and you don't?" 

Wei Ying fumbled over his robes "I like her as a friend! don't act like you don't understand what I mean."

"What does Wei Ying mean?" 

Wei Ying stomps his foot as if he wasn't the one spouting nonsense. " I meant! you like her like…. like Yunshi-ge likes Xin-jie."

"I like her like Yunshi-ge likes Meng-shixiong." Lan Zhan replied immediately.

Wei Ying groaned and rubbed his face with both hands.  "You're impossible."

"You're ridiculous."   

Wei Ying didn't question further. "If you have any questions left you should ask." Lan Wangji reminded him. But Wei Ying ignored him, giving him a disapproving  frown. 

"It smells nice." Lan Zhan says handing him the lotus perfume pouch. Wei Ying tells him that Jiang Yanli gave him and tells him about their conversation last night. As he talked, Lan Zhan's face gloomed. Lan Wangji probes Wei Ying to ask what made him sad. Lan Zhan replies, "You call Jiang Wanyin by his birth name." 

Oh. It's possible that Lan Zhan wanted to be the only one whom Wei Ying regarded with birth names. Lan Wangji never thought about something like this in his life, but he can understand where his younger self was coming from. From a young age he and Wei Ying called each other by their birth names. As taught, Wei Ying called everyone by their courtesy names, if they had one. Even if he called Su she with his birth name, it was clear he was doing it to infuriate him. Now he regarded Jiang Wanyin as Jiang Cheng with all the friendliness he had in him. It would, of course, make him jealous. 

"Don't tell me Lan Zhan, You're jealous?" 

"I am not-" by the wideness of his eyes it looked like his younger self just realized that what he was feeling was jealousy. Wei Ying laughed, "You just realized you're jealous didn't you?" 

How mortifying it must be to get caught red handed in front of Wei Ying while being jealous because for him. For Lan Wangji it was always his brother who understood him with only one glance. It was horrifying back then, to be seen so easily when he tried so hard to hide. Now not only does Lan Zhan have to face his brother's knowing look, he has Wei Ying's constant teasing who knows the easiest ways to do so. Lan Zhan's ears were fully red as he tilted his head to the side. Lan Wangji felt pity for his younger self. Albeit it was funny how his younger self handled the situation without revealing too much. Wei Ying slinged an arm over Lan Zhan's shoulder and poked his cheeks, "You're totally jealous! Look at me Lan Zhan! Zhan-di!" When all the poking around didn't work he said "Zhan-ge, Gege look at me." That made Lan Zhan look at Wei Ying, his face was getting red with the deepest frown he could manage. "Ahhh! Lan Zhan, you look so cute!" Wei Ying laughed and pinched and pulled the other boy's cheek. 

"We are getting late." Lan Zhan says trying to pry away from Wei Ying's hold. 

"No wait!" Wei Ying says controlling his laughter. "If you don't like me calling anyone with their birth name, I won't. I'll stop." He let go of Lan Zhan, giving him space to answer.

Lan Zhan breathes in and breathes out slowly, "Wei Ying can call him what he wants. Wei Ying is free to choose." 

"You won't be angry?" 

"Do not let the poisons take over you. A rule we must follow." 

Wei Ying smiles softly, hugging Lan Zhan over his shoulders he says, "Lan Zhan is the best. Now! let's go, we are getting late, aren't we?" 

Lan Wangji was always proud of Wei Ying. It was the first time he felt so proud of his younger self. He was thoughtful of Wei Ying's decisions, he let Wei Ying choose of his own. He once feared that his younger self will be possessive, will stop Wei Ying from making any close friends. And with how Wei Ying was he'd listen to Lan Zhan even if he was hurt. Lan Wangji is glad that it wasn't the case, that he had nothing to fear. Wei Ying was a free spirit, bright in his own nature.

 

At the banquet Lan Zhan looked like he wanted to take back his words. He was glaring too hard for a ten year old kid. His brows might just stay knitted together for the rest of his life. His hands twitched to pull  Wei Ying from Jiang Wanyin's clutch. Jiang Wanyin, who said he could beat Wei Ying in arm wrestling. God knows what made that kid think he could win in arm wrestling. Wei Ying was now a Lan disciple. A rowdy, rule breaking Lan disciple, who gets punished with hand standing almost everyday. Even when he didn't get punished, he'd train his body with push-ups. Wei Ying may look skinny over the layers of robes but that doesn't mean his arm strength was any less than a full grown teen. Jiang Wanyin was struggling while Nie Huaisang cheered for both of them. The elder siblings, Lan Xichen and Jiang Yanli, had formed an odd silent friendship. They were gathered in a corner of the garden, where celebration was still going on, with loud music and cheerings. The clan elders were taken to a private hall for private conversation that has, somehow, something to do with Jin Zixuan's birthday. 

In the end Jiang Wanyin lost three times. With great difficulty he accepted his defeat but declared there will be a re-match. Wei Ying teased Jiang Wanyin that he'll lose next time as well. 

 

When they gathered to watch the acrobatic performance, Madam Jin came running, "A-Li, what are you doing here, Come."  She didn't bother returning anyone's bow, marching to Jiang Yanli with her many maid servants. "A-Li, didn't my stupid of a son call you to join him?" she asks. Jiang Yanli hesitantly but sincerely shook her head. "Don't worry, I'll scold him when we get there. Come." She takes her wrist without even asking her if she wants to go or not. Jiang Wanyin jabbed Wei Ying's side, suddenly a little too annoyed. The calm air suddenly thickened without her.

"Why did she take her?" Wei Ying asked. 

"Her stupid of a son is A-Jie's fiance." Jiang Wanyin grumbled. Wei Ying leaned back to whisper, "Wuming, what's finance?" Wei Ying couldn't be as discrete as he wanted to be. Jiang Wanyin heard him and punched his shoulder saying, "Dumbass, it means they'll marry each other when they grow up." 

"It's sort of an engagement." Lan Xichen provided. 

"Oh, then she should spend time with him. Her future husband." Wei Ying says. 

"No, She shouldn't!"Jiang Wanyin punched again. He was punching Wei Ying too much for Lan Wangji's liking. Though Wei Ying didn't mind, Lan Zhan was trying his best to conduct himself. "Jin Zixuan is an arrogant ass! He is annoying." 

"Why is that? Does Jiejie not like him?" 

"Every time he comes to Lotus pier he flaunts about his riches! It's like he doesn't know anything other than money. 'This looks so ugly', 'Don't  come at me with your muddy feet' 'you live in an insect farm' he keeps saying insulting things about our home. He even said Lotus pier was a barn."  Jiang Wanyin huffed. He looked like he'd pass out due to anger. Nie Huaisang fanned him while Wei Ying rubbed his back. Jiang Wanyin again continues "Jin Zixuan is always busy showing off how rich he is, how beautiful his face is. He's busy showing off so much that he doesn't even bother asking if A-jie was enjoying it or not." 

Lan Wangji won't say he feels sympathy for Jiang Wanyin. He was always unfriendly, Wei Ying was his only close friend back then, brothers they called each other. Until Wei Ying left the sect.

Now that Wei Ying was in the Lan sect he was probably growing up without any close friends. He couldn't talk about his annoyance, his concerns for his sister to anyone. Maybe it was the first time he opened up, letting out his pent up frustration.

"He sounds like a peacock." Wei Ying said, matching Jiang Wanyin's annoyance. Hearing this, Jiang Wanyin snorted.

Somehow after venting about Jin Zixuan, Wei Ying and Jiang Wanyin got friendlier. 

They challenged each other to copy acrobatic moves like cartwheeling, though none of them could. They enjoyed rolling around the mud, falling over each other. When Wei Ying turned to call Lan Zhan he found the boy speaking with Luo Qingyang. Surprisingly Lan Zhan befriended her quite faster than he assumed. Though Lan Wangji was glad that his younger self could befriend her, Wei Ying looked troubled. Lan Wangji yet again reminded that he should talk about whatever that bothered him. Wei Ying waved him off saying Lan Zhan should enjoy time with people other than him. If Lan Wangji didn't know better he'd agree. But, he knows, understands Wei Ying. He was jealous of Mianmian. Lan Wangji snickered at how the tables had turned. 

In his life Lan Wangji was the one jealous of Mianmian for being so friendly with Wei Ying. And now, it was the other way around. 

He feels bad for finding it amusing.

 

Wei Ying later asked Lan Zhan what he was talking about with Mianmian when they arrived at Cloud recesses. "A novel." Lan Zhan said. The novel was about a heroic cultivator, leaving the cultivational world behind to spend his life with a commoner woman. Lan Wangji read the novel, it was both adventurous and romantic. When Lan Zhan asked if we Ying would like to read it, he acted like he was not a bit interested. 

After all his faking around Wei Ying did buy the novel and finished it in one go. 

"You tease Lan Zhan for being jealous of Jiang Wanyin, but you get jealous when Lan Zhan talks about Luo Qingyang." Lan Wangji teased him. Wei Ying turned red, throwing a pillow at him. "I'm not jealous!"

He is jealous. 

 

Notes:

Okay, So,, idk how right I am, still...
I named Jiang Yanli's sword Sande matching with Sandu.
Here (according to the internet) dé ( 德 ) means - virtue,,
since Jiang Cheng's sword San du means three poisons ( anger, hate, delusion) of one's character; Jiang Yanli's sword San de means three virtues( generosity, love, wisdom) of one's character.
No poison, no great man- an idiom that means: A great man has to be ruthless.
P.S.: I'm not a Jiang Cheng hater( I love him) it's just Lan Wangji has unresolved beef with him.
Jiang Cheng may seem less angry than canon, beacuse he (in this fic) grew up under the sole care of a loving sister. Jiang Yanli poured all her love and kindness on him, he may have anger issues but his sister's teaching nullifies them.

Anyways~

*Anyone talking against Wei Ying*
Lan Zhan: fuck off
Lan Xichen: with all due respect, i beg you to fuck off

*
Lan Zhan: *Talking with Mianmian*
Wei Ying: it's a feeling that I mustn't feel
Lan Wangji: Is that jealously I smell?

Chapter 22: In the spring time of life

Notes:

alternative tittle to this chapter could be: Sex ed class with innocent children, prank gone wrong :0

Lan Qiren assigned punishment for Wei Ying. At first he thought Uncle was angry because Wei Ying talked back with noble class sect leaders. When Wei Ying was handed notice of punishment, he was relieved that it was only for not being graceful. Lan Qingheng busted them out. Lan Qiren also knows about Wei Ying's new friendship with the Jiang siblings and Lan Zhan's friendship with Luo Qingyang. He showed his remorse saying, "Luo Qingyang is a girl nevertheless, you should keep your distance." When Wei Ying asked why Lan Zhan can't be friends with her. He was told that being a sect heir brings a lot of troublesome marriage proposals for the sake of sect alliance.If Lan Zhan is to be found too close with a girl, the zealous clans might force a marriage with them by any means. Lan Xichen told Wei Ying that people can make a fake scandal in Lan Zhan's name, that will leave them no path other than to give up. It troubled Wei Ying for days. He wasn't sure whether he should take Lan Zhan's side, because he looked like he enjoyed her company, Or to take Lan Qiren's side to save his friend from those ridiculous scandals. Regardless, Lan Zhan couldn't care less about the new problem that Wei Ying took upon his head. He told Wei Ying that no such thing will happen, and even if it does he will not bend to them. 

When Wei Ying's communication talisman was opened to the world to use,Many sects arrived with a good deal. As the inventor, fifty percent of the profit was given to Wei Ying. Wei Ying was releculant at first, what he did was not for wealth. He was forced to accept the money though it was kept in Lan Qiren's care. After the publication, Wei Ying was known widely among the cultivators. They say, if you see the second jade, red lotus will be nearby. Vice versa, if you see the red lotus, secon jade is just around. 

To Lan Wangji this revelation was extremely endearing. The attention Wei Ying got was not troubling at all. What troubled that, disciples used the talisman to idly chat, even in classrooms. Just as Lan Qiren feared, with the easy communication, rumors spread further. People will make random rumors of fierce monsters, winning lottery, finding treasure and everything in between. He made Wei Ying to make counteracting spells that will block connection of anyone who is under the selected area. He made it within a month.

"Maybe I should have kept this thing a secret between me and Lan Zhan." Wei Ying cried, he was made to cast his communication blocking spell on the halls, the class rooms, dinings and the whole dormitory. Additional rules related to communicating were added, disciples can't carry them in class or during work, can't send or believe false information, not allowed to rely on information with no solid source or proof and many other rules. "I created a monster." Wei Ying howled, applying the last spell. He checked his own communication talisman connected with Lan Zhan's. It said, 

             "Caiyi town, near the noodle shop, new recipe. Come." 

Even when they were together all the time, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying sent messages to each other constantly. It's mostly Wei Ying who sends them and Lan Zhan replies. Those are the moments when Wei Ying doesn't hate his invention, being rather very proud of it. Moments like this made him feel less bad about how much of a chaos his invention has brought upon. 

 

*

 

"I wanted to ask if you could teach the first year primary batch girls." said Lan Qiren on one fateful evening.

Wei Ying looked at him with a raised brow. Lan Qiren was always angry at him for sneaking into the girls dormitory's garden or for interacting with them. "We are short on teachers. Those who are able are busy. " Lan Qiren responded. It was more confusing than clarifying. Wei Ying was only eleven himself, sure he was ahead of fellow disciples for his age. That didn't mean he was ready to be a teacher yet. Although Lan Wangji believes he can be an amazing teacher. He saw Wei Ying help his classmates and juniors with their studies. Lan Qiren lost his patience as he interjected Wei Ying with a loud groan again and said, "I would take their class myself if I wasn't busy, I can't find anyone more fitting for this than you." 

Wei Ying looked unsure, if he thought he was not worthy of the praise Lan Wangji would have to make him believe it. "Wei Ying should take the opportunity, new experience." he says instead. 

Pouring Lan Qiren his tea, Wei Ying nodded, still a little unsure. "You will be free from the cleaning duties." Lan Qiren added. That lit up Wei Ying's eyes as he loudly said "Of Course I'll take the duty, It's the least I can do for my poor old Shufu." Lan Qiren huffed, part annoyed, part relieved. "But" Wei Ying says with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Lan Qiren rolled his eyes as he could also guess Wei Ying was going to say something stupid. "Aren't you afraid I'll taint your little batch of cabbages?" he grins and continues  "you were always angry and called me shameless, I even got punished." 

"You better not be shameless." 

"Or else what?" 

Lan Qiren glared at him as if that would convey what may happen if he acted shamelessly. Wei Ying ran- fast walked, out of the house, laughing with a continuous 'okay'

 

Wei Ying's first day as a substitute teacher was undeniably good. Even when Wei Ying was slightly nervous about officially teaching a whole batch of juniors, he did a great job. Wei Ying thought he would be looked down upon as he was only four years older than them. Lan Wangji reassured him that wouldn't be the case. The female Lan disciples were always known for their politeness and courteousness, young or not they'll respect Wei Ying as a teacher, And they did. Although to Lan Wangji it felt like they were more shy than respective. Even more shy when Wei Ying told them not to call him 'Laoshi' but 'Gege' and praised them for questioning or answering. He failed to remember their names, thus he'd call them "Miss pig tails" or "Miss twin braid" or " Miss big brown eyes" The girls on the other hand loved their new names, enjoyed his class and giggled every time he made a joke or did something funny. 

 

It brought a lot of attention, firstly he was a young male disciple in the females only  class. Secondly, he was too young to take the place of a respective teacher saying "What was master Qiren thinking". Thirdly, His honeyed praises were loud enough to distract any passersby. Lastly, the girls gossiped that they preferred their new teacher more than their old teacher. To some it was scandalous, to some it was childish. It did deflate Wei Ying's confidence. He thought he messed up on the first day. He worried that Lan Qiren would be disappointed and was sad that he couldn't keep his words. 

 

When Wei Ying nervously submitted his girls' class work, Lan Qiren said that the girls did great. "But that doesn't mean you are forgiven." Lan Qiren adds as soon as Wei Ying's nervous fidgeting turned into excited vibrating. "I told you not to be shameless." 

To Wei Ying it was simple praising but to others his act was of being shameless. To Wei Ying, praising came as easy as breathing. He'd praise anyone he thought to be worthy of. Wei Ying said he cannot help but praise their intelligence, and that praising encourages the students to learn more. Even so, Lan Qiren advised him not to use any honeyed words as it's against the rules. Limiting his praises to simple 'good' and 'well'. Which Wei Ying didn't follow. As a result he was punished with copying the rules of conduct thirty times while handstanding. Not that it was something new to him.

No one had the courage to loudly judge Lan Qiren's decision. Though they gossiped that Lan Qiren favored Wei Ying more than other disciples. After two weeks as a substitute teacher session ended the gossip eased down. Except for Su She, because he kept saying things like "miss flirting with the girls?"; "Oh look, the young good looking teacher is here."; "Why don't you start teaching how to woo girls." Wei Ying tactfully answerd him with "I have you guys to flirt with"; "Thanks, I know I'm good looking"; "it's a natural talent, which you don't have I suppose." Lan Wangji would advise Wei Ying not to bicker with Su she, only if he didn't enjoy watching Su she's defeated face so much. It didn't mean it always ended peacefully. Sometimes Su She would start insulting and Wei Ying insulted back, resulting in both of them getting punished publicly. Sometimes it was copying the rules, Sometimes it was kneeling for hours, sometimes if the bickering ended up to wrestling they'd get hit by the discipline ruler on the hand or by the discipline staff on the back.

Lan Zhan did ask him to stop picking fights with Su She. Though Wei Ying said he won't the next time, he ends up doing the exact opposite when that next time arrives.

Since his first time teaching, Lan Qiren continued to assign Wei Ying to monitor junior classes. He also gave him the duty to grade papers and make questions. Within all the extra duties Wei Ying was overjoyed to have work a desk beside Lan Qiren's, in his study. 

 Lan Wangji thought Wei Ying would be a softhearted teacher, giving them easy questions and giving them extra grades. He was wrong.

Even though the disciples loved his teaching, they didn't love his questions. Some even begged him not to grade their papers. His questions were more critical than the one Lan Qiren made, and he'd cut off marks a lot more than Lan Qiren. 

He was ten times more strict than the grandmaster.

Regardless, Wei Ying would later gather his students to tell them where they had made mistakes and how they could improve.His relationship with his students turned into a love-hate sort of. Lan Qiren however approved his way of teaching. 

Slowly Lan Qiren trusted him with some of his sect affairs, letters, organizations, finance and so-so. 

Sometimes it really looked like uncle was favoring Wei Ying more than his nephews. If it weren't for the fact that the said nephews would find an excuse to refuse the duty their uncle asked them to do. Lan Xichen would say he was busy helping his father or he had promised night hunting with sect leader Nie, immediately flying off to Qinghe. Lan Zhan however couldn't make any sloppy excuse but he would politely refuse and dump his duty to Wei Ying. Sometimes Wei Ying took the full responsibility, sometimes he'd drag Lan Zhan to help him. 

Given that, Wei Ying was more confident with his inventions, he had made tons of more spells and talismans. Some he kept secret to himself only, some were presented to public use, some were discarded halfway, some were forgotten. He was given permission to apply his barrier strengthening spell around the Cloud recesses as he showed how easily the previous ward could be broken. He had worked on this ever since the resentful energy incident and was determined to help.Some elders were bitter about it. But at least, Wei Ying was proud of himself. 

 

In the following years,As Lan Yunshi stepped down from his duty as the head disciple to travel around the world, Lan sect elders chose Lan Zhan to be the next Head disciple. There was a debate about who should have the duty as Lan Xichen was not going to be the sect leader anytime soon, and Wei Ying was no less than Lan Zhan. In Lan Wangji's life there was no need to debate. It was bestowed to him even before he was of their age. Since, with Wei Ying in Cloud recesses things aren't the same as before, debate was apprehensive. 

Lan Qingheng had said that Lan Xichen shouldn't be pressured with disciplining  his juniors and work as a first sect heir at the same time. As a result he was free of the duty. Wei Ying could be the head disciple if he was not so prone to breaking a hundred rules per day. What Cloud recesses wanted was a role model for their disciples. Which was Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan, even after breaking a few rules, was known to be the best disciple with strict self restriction and sense of discipline.

Though judging Wei Ying's potential, he was chosen to co-assist the head disciple with training as the second in command. Lan Wangji feels a little bad that Wei Ying couldn't shine as the head disciple like he did in Yunmeng Jiang sect. Not that it stopped him in any way. He was exceptionally good at leading. Where Lan Zhan would struggle to articulate his thoughts to the juniors Wei Ying would back him up. Where Wei Ying would explain his teaching too broadly, Lan Zhan would simplify them. 

Just like Lan Wangji, his younger self was back to punishing any one that broke the rules with no apparent reason. 'Partiality is forbidden' didn't make it in Lan Zhan's disciplinary. That is to say, he would look over Wei Ying's mischief, pretend not to notice if Wei Ying broke rules. He'd only punish him if there were any witnesses. Su She was always angry that Lan Zhan favors Wei Ying. He complains about them every chance he gets. If Wei Ying was to hear him bad mouthing Lan Zhan they'd end up in a wrestling battle. It was made clear that no one can whisper against Lan Zhan or they'll have to face Wei Ying's fist. Even when he got punished severely, Wei Ying said that he'd only regret if he hadn't taken any action for his best friend.

 

*

 

The disciples of Wei Ying's age were called for a special class. Lan Wangji knows exactly what this class was about and why only disciples of twelve years old were called. It was the day he, in his life, dreaded the most. Now that his perspective has changed, he could feel himself elated to start the class. 

As expected, head physician Lan Meihua and Lan Baiyu were already present with ever so calmness plastered in their faces. Very unlike what they are going to do to the children, now pre-teen. 

As always Wei Ying takes the second row seat, just behind Lan Zhan, greeting his friends. As soon as class began, Lan Baiyu hung a big scroll of an unclothed dissected human body. It was a normal occurance for students as they were already seeing enough disembodied corpses through each night hunt. In his life Lan Wangji thought this was just another physiology class, until the physicians started talking wired. 

He rested himself atop the board to get a full view of the whole class. He allows himself to indulge in the joy of watching little kids quietly suffer from embarrassment. He also wonders if things will change now that Wei Ying was there. 

"Let's say, we all are growing up aren't we?" Said Lan Meihua in a considerate, hushed tone, opposite from how she usually is in the infirmary. "In other words you are getting old, you have a white hair peeking out." Wei Ying responds, gaining chuckles from his classmates and a scolding glare from the teacher. Rubbing her forehead, secretly hiding her white hair she continues, "Since we are growing up, we all go through many changes." No one knows who whispered "like your white hair" And physician Mei acted as if she wasn't hurt. "Changes like growing hair on your face and other places, like chest, armpits and… on your genital region." Lan Wangji notices the students' faces growing  different shades of white to red. His younger self looked usual but his ears were flaming red and he was clutching the low table too hard. Lan Wangji was an early mature teen. His body started showing adolescent signs even before he was aware what was going on, even before this calss. He was too embarrassed to consult with his brother fearing he'll be worried for his didi, he was too self conscious to look for books in the library, fearing he'll be teased or mocked by his seniors. So stayed quiet until answers were given to him publicly. Back then everyone went quiet after getting the hint of where this class was going. 

It was not the same case now. Now, Wei Ying had squeaked and loudly asked, "You can grow hair over there too?" his face was pink, definitely embarrassed but that was not enough to shut him up. 

"Yes, you can. And can control the growth with your core. That's a different topic we'll discuss about it eventually." Replied Lan Baiyu with a deadpan voice. "Please pay attention." he added as some other students started to murmur with each other.

Lan Meihua continued, "You kids are going to become adults soon.You'll go through a lot of uncomfortable changes, and this class is to help you know about what more your body can do." 

She tells them about adolescent changes one by one. And one by one everyone's face gets a shade deeper or lighter than the shade it was before. Same with Wei Ying, except each time he gets louder asking embarrassing questions Lan Wangji didn't dare to know until he was like sixteen. 

"So the testes and scrotum growing is a normal thing? Thank goodness! I thought I was sick." Wei Ying had shouted, leaving his classmates to face second-hand embarrassment. Apparently his physical changes had started already and he didn't utter a single word to him. Why is Lan Wangji with him if not to talk about worries. 

His teachers advise him to consult with them or his very trusted Shixiong. Was Wei Ying too shy to ask this to Lan Wangji? was he not doing good as a friend or a guardian. 

"It grows bigger? In sleep? Are you sure it's not pee?" Shouted Wei Ying, again. His whole face was red, so was everyone's face. Mentions of wet dreams does that to one. It was too embarrassing for the kids his age.

"Yes it gets bigger! In sleep! You'll understand if it's pee!" Lan Meihua 

 yet again getting red out of either embarrassment or anger. Looking at her, she was trying her best to talk about everything in the least embarrassing way possible. But Wei Ying had other plans. He can't keep quiet, he can't stay still, even when Lan Zhan turned and made a face that can be read as 'If you don't quiet down I'll silence you' even when it was forbidden. 

"What do you mean eligible for marriage at the age of thirteen! we are kids!" Wei Ying shouted standing up to defend god knows what. It's not like he's unaware of children of twelve or thirteen getting married. He was against the whole procedure when he saw the young bride crying in her marriage sedan. 

"Yes! Wei Wuxian! you can be married of and produce children at the age of thirteen." Lan Meihua answered solemnly, the veins in her forehead were visibly pumping. 

"Produce children?" asked Wei Ying skeptically. Some of his red faced classmates were eyeing him, muttering him to shut up and stay quiet for once. 

The way physician Mei's lips upturned didn't quite feel right. There was a hint of revenge when she laughed and said, "Yes produce children.Do you know how that works. I'll describe anyway." 

"Master Mei, this topic is not in our curriculum." Lan Baiyu interjected. Ignoring his protest the head physician pulled out a scroll with simple pictures of intercourse in methodical ways. Not wasting a beat she explains about hormones and sperms and eggs. Pointing to the simplified genital organs,the process of intercourse between a man and a woman, how the woman gets pregnant and how she gives birth to a child.

Everyone's face lacked blood, Lan Zhan who practically became a statue had clutched his brush so hard that it snapped into two and Wei Ying for once was quiet. Lan Meihua finally huffed a breath after continuously explaining things she shouldn't be explaining. Lan Baiyu was mortified, imagining the many different ways he was going to be punished for the head physician. 

"Physician Mei" Wei Ying shouted once again. His classmates groaned loudly, knowing they were going to face yet another embarrassing question. "Give me your ginger candies! I think I'm going to throw up!" Some huffed a breath of relief that it was not an embarrassing question. "Throw up? Why? Xiao-Xain Are you pregnant?" Lan Meihua laughed. 

"Can boys get pregnant too?" 

"No! it was a joke." 

"Joking about serious matters is prohibited!" 

"Asking embarrassing questions are also prohibited" 

"No they are not!" 

"They should be!" 

"Oh my God! please! master Mei, Wei Wuxian!" Cried Lan Baiyu. Students present there showed their sympathy towards the man. 

The session started the same as Lan Wangji experienced in his life but didn't end quietly like that. Even when Physician Mei used extra time for her class, most topics were left untouched. Lan Baiyu handed his guide through adolescence to each student and told them to talk with him if they had inquiries. The guide in question was not much of a help with what Lan Wangji went through during the time he met Wei Ying. It was more inclined to physical health and hygiene.

Everyone in class was looking extra mad at Wei Ying for being so loud. Lan Zhan refused to look at Wei Ying as they both headed out of class. Lan Xichen and Li Yong were waiting outside the court with a knowing smile Lan Wangji hates. They are here to tease the poor kids whose minds are in shambles and teasing will infuriate them. 

"A-Zhan, A-Xain, You two look sick, what happened?" Lan Xichen asked as if he had no idea of what happened. Beside him Li Yong snorted, adding "Did you see a ghost or something?" 

"Even worse!" Wei Ying howled. "I'm never going to see children the same way. How does something so big get in...and a baby comes out of…. urgh" Wei Ying shuddered and Lan Zhan had already ran away. The two older boys glanced at each other and back at Wei Ying's horrified face. Their eyes widened as it hit them what exactly Wei Ying was talking about. "A-Xain" Cheered Lan Xichen, "Do you know people do it for fun. That they enjoy getting in and-" 

Wei Ying escaped from Lan Xichen's grasp, Lan Wangji could hear the two boys laughing after terrifying Wei Ying with the revelation. He didn't expect this from his brother. How much has he changed.

Wei Ying ran towards the bunny field. Every time he is overwhelmed or tired he goes there to relax his mind. He hates the cold spring even when he knows cold spring does the work far better. 

Stepping in the field he was greeted by Lan Zirui's wife and his two year old son, Lan Yawen. The child was fond of Wei Ying, and would always crawl to him if he was nearby. Wei Ying loved playing with the kid but today was not one of Wei Ying's best day. He looked at the child and took a long breath, "You are a product of…" he whispered. He glanced at the woman in front of him and instantly turned red. 

Lan Wangji snickers, imagining what might be going through Wei Ying's head.

Bowing to the woman he ran to his room. It was so adorable that Lan Wangji wanted to tease him like Lan Xichen did. But someone had to be the responsible adult. 

"It's a normal occurrence in nature, don't think too deeply of it." He says.  

"This means mama and baba did that! and that's how I was born!" Wei Ying groaned in his pillow. He was thinking way too deeply.

"Mn, nothing so weird about it." 

"I'm not saying it's weird! it's just-" 

"embarrassing?"

"Embarrassing!" 

"Once you grow up you'll not find it embarrassing." 

Wei Ying groaned in his pillow again. Kicking his legs in the air he cries out, "I talked about having dozens of children!" 

You did. 

"How am I going to face Lan Zhan now! I practically implied that I'm going to… do that dozens of times!" he whined, hitting his face on the pillow. Lan Wangji sighed, holding his head in one place he replies, "You were young back then. You didn't know. Nor did Lan Zhan. I'm sure he finds it as embarrassing as you." 

"You're not helping Wuming!" 

Lan Wangji huffed and reminded Wei Ying of his duties. It's one of the best strategic  ways to distract him from his storming thoughts. For now he needs time to absorb the new information he was given, way too early for his age. This topic was supposed to take place when they were fifteen. Lan Wangji is a little mad at Lan Meihua for sullying the child's mind.And if the two physicians were seen handstanding in front of the ancestral hall, it was none of his concern.

Few days later, Lan Wangji asked Wei Ying why he didn't share a vital change in his body. The reason was the same as him, he was shy, embarrassed, and didn't want anyone to worry or go to the healers for such an embarrassing problem. Lan Wangji  talked through the most shy teen, his son, Lan Sizhui. Sure he can talk through Wei Ying. Lan Wangji will not say he is the best at talking or comforting or giving advice where emotions are subjective. But he's a lot better than certain parents he knows. At the very least, he tries to understand what the teen was going through, he tries to give the best advice and possible solutions. 

 

Teen. Lan Wangji cried in his heart. Wei Ying was going to be a teen now.  

 

Along the way Wei Ying showed all the signs of a healthy growing teen. His growth spurt was the same as any Lan by blood. Unlike Lans he was facing more acne. Luckily Lan Wangji has dealt with Sizhui's acne breakout. He knows what to do and what not to do. However, unlike Sizhui, Wei Ying can't stop poking at his acne. Lan Wangji had to keep a keen eye to stop him from unconsciously scratching his cheeks. His golden core was strong so he could easily deal with the marks and control his acne. But that doesn't mean he'll let Wei Ying pop them deliberately. 

Again, Unlike Lans his facial hair grew comparatively fast. He can control his hair growth with his golden core. Lan Wangji taught him meditative ways on how a golden core can help him control his body hair. He never thought Wei Ying would be interested in growing a beard. But he did, as a joke. To show pick a fight with Lan Qiren. It made him look out of place, not that he looked bad. His friends laughed really hard when he role played as Lan Qiren.

"I was wondering," he once said to Lan Qiren, "If Shufu could show poor little Wuxian how to shave." He stroked his stubble for beard. Lan Qiren dismissed him with a big frown, telling him to learn from Xichen or his other Shixiong. If Lan Wangji was correct Lan Qiren secretly wished to have fast growing facial hair, the type Wei Ying showed off to him with any given chance.

And unlike Lan Wangji, Wei Ying didn't face embarrassing wet dreams frequently. Where Lan Wangji had woken up with a morning arousal almost every day, Wei Ying didn't. Which is, normal, healthy, good. 

Being a teen was a horrible experience for Lan Wangji. He always wanted attention at the same time he hated it when someone glanced at him. He wanted to be alone but hated being left alone. He'd get angry at any minor inconvenience and punish himself for getting angry. Then again cry in his own quarters for not being angry. Emotions were always out of control, just the same he lost control of his new, growing body. 

He thought it was only him. He didn't think Wei Ying would face the same situation. 

How wrong he was to assume so. 

Unlike him, Wei Ying was very open to show his emotions. Wei Ying gets mad often, different from what Lan Wangji ever saw in the boy's face. His sudden change in his body's center of gravity made him tumble on plain paths. His gangly growing body was too new to him. He had a hard time getting control of his sword again. "Why did my center of gravity had to change!" He once shouted and punched the mu ren zhang with more force than needed. A way to steam off his anger. Though his Shixiongs told him to dip in the cold pond whenever he feels angry, he had refused. He liked training his body, though Lan Wangji liked to call it self harming. He had cracked more than five of the training stands, he had cracked knuckles and bones. Each time Lan Wangji told him not to harm himself, Wei Ying had fought him, shouted at him "I don't want to listen to you" or "Leave me alone". It hurted the same way his Wei Ying told him to piss off. 

Lan Wangji would have died out of the double heart break if Wei Ying hadn't cried and apologized to him an hour after. "Please don't ever leave me." Wei Ying begged him, crying his eyes out.

He soothed Wei Ying, told him everything was alright, it wasn't his fault that he lost control of his emotions. Such outbursts happen when you are growing up.  

At times Lan Wangji asked if he needed alone time. If he wants to be alone for a while, Lan Wangji can give him space. "No, I don't want to be alone," Wei Ying answered. "I want to be with you, with Lan Zhan, with Xichen-ge, with everyone! I want everyone's attention!"  

He seeked attention, a lot. Attention from his dorm hall friends, attention from his Shixiongs and Shidi.  Attention from the bunnies even. Not that he had to ask for it. He was a natural attention magnet. Wherever he goes all eyes are on him, be it good or bad. Wei Ying thrived the most when he was the center of everyone's attention. Lan Zhan, well, he didn't look particularly happy about it.

That is to say, Wei Ying looked the happiest when he was around Lan Zhan. His teasing increased to three fold. He'd shout if Lan Zhan pretended not to acknowledge him. Lan Zhan was the only one who could calm Wei Ying down whenever he was angry, on the verge of crying or throwing his fist at Su She. All he had to say was, "Wei Ying calm down." and that would do. It didn't work when Lan Wangji said it. They were the same person. And yet, 

Lan Wangji was long used to the bitter taste in his tounge. To Wei Ying, he was only half ghost half spirit. A dragon body with a human brain. And his younger self, Lan Zhan, was a full human, with human scent and human warmth. He can't give Wei Ying what Lan Zhan could. A full body embrace, a shoulder to rest on, a hand to take. There was no use of being jealous. He had lost the chance he had, he had asked for this, he should be happy with what he was given.

 

Live a life with no regrets. 

Notes:

This chapter is a mixture of two two chapters, hope you enjoyed it.

please keep it in mind that ancient era people considered 12+ old kids old enough to marry. So Lan Qiren fears that his young little cabbage will catch eyes of suitors and he'll have to get him married at an early age *sigh*

Wei Ying being a strict teacher is my personal hc. you know those teachers who's all jokes and giggles in the class but fucks you up in the exam hall? yeah Wei Ying is one of them, Lan Qiren may or may not have influenced this.

I was not sure how head disciple ranking works, if Lan Zhan is considered Da-Shixiong then Wei Ying is called Er-Shixiong. I hope I'm not wrong :))

For adolescent changes too, i hope I got everything right. I don't remember what I faced when I was going throug puberty and I'm fully woman,, I have very little idea how male body changes feel.

"Can boys get pregnant too?" here starts Wei Ying's canonical pregnancy kink >:3

I cant think of any other jokes so good reading fellas~

Chapter 23: Morning sun, warm and peaceful

Notes:

Before you continue reading this, I want to warn that I don't understand resentful energy or spiritual energy lore that much. Most of them are made up.
There are mentions of suicide and death as well.

The Wen sect had invited sect heirs and best of ten young disciples of each sect for the Zhuque mountain hunting competition. If Lan Wangji remembers clearly, it was around this time when Wen Ruohan started sabotaging minor sects to grow in power. He was feared by the other four major sects. Fear would be a wrong word to describe what the Lan clan had for Wen Ruohan. Rather than fear it was ignorance. They would ignore Wen Ruohan's crime and as an exchange Wen Ruohan would leave them be. That was what Lan elders believed. Lan Wangji, as taught, believed his elders as well. He wished he hadn't. What was the point of letting Wen Ruohan commit crime freely when in the end they had to watch their home get burned.

There was a difference this time, Previously Wen Ruohan only invited sect heirs in the hunting competition. It was a competition in name. Wen Ruohan's real intention was to see which sect was more powerful, which clan he can annihilate and which clan not to bother until he has enough power. Lan Wangji never asked his uncle what happened in the discussion conference that time. He should have, The clans must have said something so awful for his Uncle to lose his conduct. He left the conference earlier, not bothering with courtesy at all. Not to say that he always despised  Wen Rouhan, Wen Clan in general. Regardless of being invited, Uncle did not join the conference this time. Lan Qingheng with great remorse agreed to go to the conference with his sons and disciples. 

Top ten disciples always contained Wei Ying. There was no question left to ask. Even though he didn't want to expose his Wei Ying to the Wens he had no other choice but to go. Lan Wangji just has to be more careful with Wei Ying, afterall it was the Wens who made him suffer. 

 

The sun palace surely is a sight for sore eyes. It was the tallest building Wei Ying had ever seen. So the continuous 'whoa' sounds were predictable.The building had roofs with twelve ridges and eight heavenly beast statues at the end of each ridge. Lan Wangji's eyes wandered at the top roof where Wei Wuxian loomed over and saw his Wen friend's ashes be scattered in the air. The roof where Lan Wangji's had to hold Bichen against Wei Wuxian. Where Wei Wuxian's flute attacked him, where Wei Wuxian said that he knew Lan Wangji hated him. Beneath was the wide plaza where Lan Wangji saw  three thousand cultivators taking pledge for Wei Wuxian's death. He can point out the corner where Jiang Yanli was resting lifeless in Jiang Wanyin's arms. Where Wei Wuxian lost control and shouted until he fell unconscious. 

Lan Wangji wished things were different.  There were so many actions that he regretted. He wished he hadn't pulled out his weapons before Wei Wuxian. He wished he could convince Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji never hated him. He wished he could save him back then.

There was no point regretting now. He had regretted enough in his life. He wishes not to face the same regrets when Wei Ying was with him, cheerfully walking up to the inner compounds.

Servants took them to the guest room before Wei Ying could sight see. As lavish as Wens are, Wei Ying gets his own guest room with no roommates. The room itself isn't as ostenious the Jins but not poorly decorated either. He can say, it's absolutely of Wei Ying's liking. The red curtains, red beddings, red banners, red cushions. One might as well say it's a wedding ceremony. 

"Too much red," Wei Ying says, sounding irritated. 

"You don't like it?" 

"No, it blends with my style."

"Hence?"

"Hence, I can't be a noticeable figure. No one will spare a glance at me!" 

Lan Wangji huffs at his complaints. He can't believe Wei Ying's length of attention seeking. Why does he want to be the center of attention, Lan Wangji never understood it. And he's afraid he never will. "You are wearing stark white, that's noticeable enough. And besides, Wens are too dangerous. It's better to lay low and stay unnoticed. " 

Wei Ying prepares for his bath, water has been sent to the room before he even arrived. "Good point. I don't like it." huffing he slides behind the privacy screen after giving Lan Wangji a disappointed groan. 

 

There was no reason to sneak out in the name of sightseeing, and get lost. He's here for the first time and Lan Wangji's memory is blurry where it needs to be. He doesn't think it's important to remember the geography of each sect. 

"I'm sure I came here from this path." Wei Ying mutters looking at the narrow path Lan Wangji doesn't remembers seeing when they walked up here. "Are you sure, it's the correct path?" 

"Trust me, Wuming. I'll find our way back in no time." 

It's been two hours, Lan Wangji wants to say. The sun was about to set, and Qishan has too much Yang energy for his liking. All he worries that nightfall will lure out the resentful ghosts and spirits, attack them out of nowhere. Sure Wei Ying is strong but he's only one thirteen year old boy.

Lan Wangji hears a loud thunk, as if someone had shot an arrow nearby. He hopes it's someone good enough to show the way back. 

When they peeks from behind a boulder they see a Wen boy, near Wei Ying's age, practicing archery. The boy shoots again and the arrow hits the center. 

"Wow, that's impressive!" Wei Ying, no longer hiding, exclaims to the boy, clapping loudly. The boy turns around with eyes wider than his sockets. They might fall out if he widens them a little more. Cue to that, the Wen boy blinked several times as if he was blinking back tears. It shocked both him and Wei Ying. He said no such thing to make a boy cry. Be it out of happiness or the opposite. 

The Wen boy's arrow slips out of his grip, as he leaps towards them with a big delighted smile. "Wei Gongzi" exclaimed the Wen boy, "I've missed you." He hugs Wei Ying out of nowhere. Lan Wangji would have pushed him back but he wasn't hugging Lan Wangji. On the contrary, Wei Ying loved hugs, he loved to be hugged. He hugs back the Wen boy without a question. 

"I was waiting for you here. I knew you'd come." Says the Wen boy. It was maybe time to question him. Why he sounded so familiar, why did he said he missed Wei Ying, why he was waiting for him. 

"Um, Thankyou. But-" Wei Ying pulls him out of his arms, putting his hands on the other boy's shoulder. "Have we met before? Do I know you?" 

"It's me Wen Ning." 

Wen Ning.

Ah, Wen Ning, Wen Qionglin. The ghost general.

Lan Wangji almost forgot about him.

That's why Lan Wangji had found his face familiar. Though he doesn't remember him looking so- lively. He only remembers the dead, revived from the death, fierce corpse Wen Qionglin.

The way he speaks…  

Does it mean he too was from the same time as Lan Wangji? Can he see Lan Wangji like Song Zichen and Nie Mingjue did? How much does he know? How much does he remember? How much has he revealed to his sect? Though Lan Wangji knows he was loyal to Wei Ying and will not do anything to hurt him. He can't help but fear. Wen Qionglin  knows about future events, he can use his knowledge for his own self interest. How can he not worry?

He saw Wen Qionglin's smile deflated as Wei Ying failed to recognise him. Wen Qionglin  glanced at him, met his eyes and looks back at Wei Ying.  

"I don't think I have ever met you before. Have I? Sorry I can't remember people's faces easily." Wei Ying tries to cheer Wen Qionglin up. Though the situation has already taken an awkward turn. Wen Qionglin, who looked all confident with no sense of  physical space, turned red stepping backwards. He waved his hands in the air, stammered something incoherent and bowed furiously. "I'm s-sorry I acted so frivolously. I didn't think properly" He managed to decipher. 

"Hey, it's fine.I appreciate the hug." Wei Ying stops himself from bowing so many times. 

"It's…" Wen Qionglin says and glances at Lan Wangji again, "It's nice to finally see you. I hear praises of you. I was eager to meet you." 

"You heard praises about me? I'm known so far in Qishan?" 

Wen Qionglin smiled sweetly, "Wei Gongzi is well known as the Red Lotus of Gusu. Your name spread after your invention of communication talisman." 

Wei Ying huffs out a proud laughter. "Don't call me Wei Gongzi. Please. Call me Wei Wuxian." He side hugs Wen Qionglin 's shoulder, "We hugged so we are friends now." 

Wen Qionglin  nervously fiddles with his sleeves, "I- you.." 

"I, you, We are friends. Wen Ning. I called you by your name, so you should call me by my name too."

Wen Qionglin started sweating, he was getting redder slowly. Lan Wangji feels guilty for doubting him. He looks too innocent to harm anyone. "Can I- can in call you Xian-gege?" He mutters, staring at the ground. Wei Ying on the other hand  was astonished. His jaw dropped with a big "O" formed with his lips as his eyes sparkled with joy. 

"Yes." He loudly shouted to the other boy, It'll ring bells in his ears for days. "Yeah! you can call me gege, dada, whatever you want! yeah… Call me Xian-gege." 

Wen Qionglin 's eyes filled with unshed tears. "Well, then, Xian-gege." He looks at Wei Ying with big soft eyes, full of adoration and admiration. Lan Wangji really shouldn't have doubted his loyalty. "How have you been? Are you eating well? having a good sleep?" Wen Qionglin asks like a worried mother and Wei Ying answers all of his worry-filled queries. 

All his worries come from the time he spent with Wei Ying in the burial mounds. He has had first hand experience in sharing Wei Ying's pain. He helped Wei Ying with all he could just for saving his and his family's life. Lan Wangji had no right to doubt him, afterall it wasn't him who had lost everything for power hungry men. Wen Qionglin lost his Clan, his family, his sister. No one stood up for them, not even Lan Wangji's self proclaimed righteousness. It was Wei Ying who knew what was right. 

Wen Qionglin accompanied Wei Ying to the main court. He glanced at Lan Wangji several times, without Wei Ying's notice. "Please be careful, dinner will be served in the dining hall. May I come to escort you there?" Wen Qionglin said after escorting them back to their room. Should he act as Wei Ying's chaperone? Wei Ying doesn't so much as doubt his friendliness. Rather he is thriving at Wen Qionglin's care. That's when Lan Zhan comes out of his room, just beside Wei Ying's, and stares at the two boys with a subtle frown. 

"Lan Zhan! Guess what," shouts Wei Ying. sliding an arm over Wen Qionglin's shoulder he says,"I made a new friend. His name is Wen Ning."

The subtle frown deepens a little more, clearly he is jealous at their closeness. Wen Qionglin quickly bows him, regarding Lan Zhan as the second young master. Taking a quick narrow escape before saying he'll come again to pick them up for dinner. Just the same time he mouths Lan Wangji to meet him. He would have even if he didn't told him. There are things he has to know. 

"Do you want to know what he calls me?" Wei Ying muttered with a sheepish smile. "He calls me gege." He says puffing his chest. As if being called 'gege' was won after a bone cracking battle.

Lan Zhan's brows twitched, it didn't go unnoticed by Wei Ying. He even enjoyed making Lan Zhan angry. 

 

The dining hall of Wen sect was really far away from the guest quarters. Previously Lan Wangji hadn't had to go to the dining hall for dinner. Dinner was brought to his room. What caused this change, he worried.

In the dining hall they were met with Nie Huaisang and Jiang Wanyin. 

"Jiejie is not here?" Wei Ying inquiries. Jiang Wanyin, as always, frowned at him rolling his eyes, "Jiang-Gongzi, long time no see. How have you been? I've been well Wei Wuxian." 

Wei Ying apologetic smiled, side hugging the purple claded boy. "It's good you're well. Where's Jiejie?" he asked once again.

"Do you have no idea what's going on? Why'd we bring her." 

Because she is a sect heir and she was invited. Wei Ying didn't answer but his face was clearly saying it.

"Look around you Wei-Xiong," Nie Huaisang slides beside him, covering half of his face with his fan. Lan Wangji observes, There were very few female disciples and despite invitation some of the female heirs were absent. "Who'd want to be Wen Ruohan or his son's concubine." Nie Huaisang whispered, barely audible. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan glanced at each other with a confused but alert look. Their confusion was understandable as none of their elders indicated this possibility to them. It was clear that Lan sect knew the underlying dangers, they didn't bring any female disciples either. There were quite a few female disciples who were excelling their male peers. But it made no sense to Lan Wangji. Why'd Wen Ruohan suddenly  want concubines. He was power hungry but not lecherous like Jin Guanshan. Wen Chao can be called that but he was no older than Wei Ying. Surely he'd not want concubines at the age of thirteen. Wen Xu, then, perhaps. 

Speak of the devil, Wen Xu arrived in the dining hall with his younger brother and a few other Wen disciples at tow. All of them had sun motifs on their sleeves, meaning they were all clan members. He found Wen Qionglin  at the very end of the line. Beside him was a young lady with a stern, brave look. She could be none other than Wen Qionglin's sister, Wen Qing. The siblings followed Wen Xu through the dining hall, stand in front of the podium. Everyone bowed deeply to the Wens as a greeting. Except for a few, All the Wens greeted their guests with a lousy bow. 

Wei Ying subtly  waved at Wen Ning. When Wen Ning waved back he earned a scolding glare from his sister. 

Wen Xu examined the hall with hawk eyes. Lan Wangji felt like his gaze lingered a little longer to where Wei Ying was seated. 

"Be seated, all of you." said Wen Xu with a sharp smirk on his face. He starts eating without any decorum a host should have. As he starts eating, so does everyone. Left for the Lan disciples. Their table was filled with spicy food with meat. 

Lan clan was known to have a vegetarian diet. It was true that the disciples broke this rule behind their elders' backs, however they always made sure to keep it a tight secret among their peers. Moreover, as best disciples they have a reputation to keep. They are here to represent their sect. They can't eat meat in front of so many respected clans. That being said, the other sects always respected the Lan clan's diet, giving them  vegetarian cuisine. Which Wen sect didn't and it was intentional. 

"Why aren't the Lan kids eating?" shouted Wen Chao. Seated beside him, Wen Xu smirked and said, "What's the matter, is the food not of your liking? We made sure our guests got the best dinner." 

As a responsible sect heir Lan Xichen stood up to speak on behalf of his sect. "Forgive us Wen Gongzi. Our sect does not allow consumption of meat. Thus we ask to be given vegetarian cuisine." 

Wen Xu snorted before saying, "So you're being picky with food. Isn't that against the rules too?" 

It was a rule to not to be hard with food. That didn't mean they could be forced to eat with whatever food they are given. They can decide which food to eat and which not to. But Lan Xichen was still inexperienced to counter attack Wen Xu with words, visibly losing the confidence he had. He glanced back at his senior brother, Lan Yunshi. Before Lan Yunshi could stand up and defend his younger cousin, Wei Ying stood up with a deep frown. "We are being respectful to our rules." he shouts.

Who cares what Lan Wangji warned off. He fells stupid to advise Wei Ying to lay low. It's Wei Ying afterall, keeping a low profile is one of the things he's physically unable of. 

To Lan Wangji's remorse Wen Xu's smirk sharpens as if he was waiting for Wei Ying to take the bait, and fall in his trap. "Wei Ying, be careful of what you say." Don't poke the wasp nest. The last thing Lan Wangji wants is to have Wen Xu hold a grudge against Wei Ying and break his leg like he broke Lan Wangji's. 

"Forgive my rudeness Wen Gongzi." Wei Ying says. "This one wants to make it clear that my Shixiongs are not being picky but being respectful to our Clan rules." He clasps his hand and bows his head slightly saying, "I hope Wen Gongzi is intelligent enough to be respectful to our Clan rules as well and can prepare the food our clan prefers." Just as he continues speaking his Shixiongs stands up bowing as well. 

If Wen Xu tries to decline now he'll have to lose face in front of more than hundred disciples of both major and minor sects. Regardless, Wen Xu isn't bereft at all. He looks like he got what he wanted, a show perhaps to make the Lan clan a laughing stock. 

"And you must be Wei Wuxian." He eyes Wei Ying from head to toe. "Always debating to defend your clan." He laughs and calls the servants to replace their food. Even with only vegetables their food is no less spicy than what Wei Ying likes. 

"Should I tell him to give us milder food." Wei Ying whispers to Lan Zhan. 

"Do not be hard with food, Do not speak during meal." Lan Zhan replies. The kid was barely managing to chew his vegetables, swallowing them with great difficulty. Lan Xichen and others were no different. "Are you sure? look at Xiongzhang. He's about to cry."

He has no spice tolerance. 

In response he gains a glare from Lan Zhan and a tired smile from Lan Xichen. 

They all ignored the continuous murmuring of other sect disciples. Pretended not to notice how they kept glancing at them with pity. 

In the end the disciples endured the spicy food without a protest. They walked back to their guest rooms with red swollen lips and mouth half open. Some who had extremely low spice tolerance fanned themselves, wiping the sweat on their temples, blinking back their tears. Wei Ying was still angry that they had to be treated so low, that his Shixiongs had to endure unnecessary hardships. He's still mad at Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen for stopping him from fighting for them.  

They notice a red pouch hidden in front of Wei Ying's door. As Wei Ying opened the pouch they saw a note and a handful  of elixirs. 

      " They'll neutralize the spice" 

The note read with neat handwriting.Wei Ying puts an elixir in his mouth without any cautions. "It's candy!" he exclaims.

"Be careful before eating something suspicious." Lan Wangji scolds.  It's Wen territory after all. He can't help but feel anxious.

"It's lime flavored." Wei Ying muses. He runs an errand to deliver a few candies to his Shixiongs. It works on them like magic, as if their burned tongue has been healed.

Lan Wangji guessed from the red pouch that it was none other than Wen Qionglin who delivered the pouch. 

 

He meets Wen Qionglin where he first saw him. Wei Ying had fallen asleep,he had to make good use of his free time. 

Wen Qionglin bows as soon as he notices him. 

"Were you the one who delivered the red pouch?" he asks, just to be sure. 

"Yes, that was me. But the elixirs were made by my sister." Wen Qionglin replies. 

"So," Lan Wangji says, examining him. "You are from a different time, I believe." 

Wen Qionglin nods his head. He fiddles with his fingers before mumbling, "May I ask, Are you perhaps, Hanguan-jun?" 

"I am. Or I used to be. Here I'm known as Wuming." 

"I guessed it from your voice." he exclaims in a hushed tone. "Then may I ask Lan-er-Gongzi which spell he used to alter time?" 

Alter time? by using a spell? Was that even possible? 

As much as Lan Wangji knew, he was here by some divine power, he was very sure he heard his mother talking to him. He had only begged his ancestors to give him a chance to be with Wei Ying. And he believed his ancestors guided him to the past. 

"I did not use any spells," He says, "I believe I'm here thanks to my ancestors' blessings." Now that he thinks about it, traveling time with some blessings sounds more absurd than traveling time using spells. 

"Is that so? Forgive me for assuming. I thought it was Wei Gongzi who casted a time-altering spell, hence I'm here as well." 

"Is a time-altering spell possible?"

At Lan Wangji question Wen Qionglin's fidgeting halts. He fazed down to his hands, letting out a long sigh. "I'm not sure," he mumbled. "During our stay in burial mounds, Wei Gongzi once theorized something like this. He… was afraid to use his spell. He had me burn down his theory." 

Wei Ying was a genius even to think about altering time. It was times like this when he takes pride in falling in love with him.

"If it was not Wei Gongzi's spell," Wen Qionglin continued biting his thumb, "if it was something between you and your ancestors, Then why am I here?" 

A question Lan Wangji also wants to ask, Why and how are you here? Not only Wen Qionglin but Nie Mingjue and Song Zichen as well.

"It is possible that you had regrets from your previous life. Have you ever wished for a second chance to cherish your family or mend mistakes?" 

Wen Qionglin huffs, "Everyone has regrets in their life. And I'm no different." 

What he said was true. No matter how disciplined life one leads, they'll have regrets regardless of their effort. If having regrets and wishing for a second chance was all it took for them to get what they wanted, there would be no reason for heaven and hell. Then again, there should have been more people that could remember their previous lives. If that was the case, Jiang Yanli deserved the second chance more than anyone, Wen Qing too. But that was not the case. 

"Song Zichen and Nie Mingjue have the same case as you." 

"What? You mean, they knows what happened in our time?"

"Yes, they said they had regrets when they died. Their death was tragic, just as yours and your sister." 

Not only was it tragic, it was gruesome. The boy had to die two times. Both in the hands of Jins. Once beaten up to death, and the other burned consciously. 

"Hanguan-jun," Wen Qionglin whispered, "How do you think I died?" 

"You were burned to ashes," he replies after a brief pause. "It's what Jin Guanshan claims." 

Wen Qionglin huffs again, in a mocking sort of way. It's very unlikely of him."I wasn't burned to ashes. They had me locked up in the Jins underground prison."  Blinking back his tears he says, "Only my sister had to face that inhumanity." 

Jin Guanshan, that treacherous…

How did the world turn a blind a eye to his crimes? 

"I guess words were well hidden to the world. Then I'll tell you, Hanguan-jun, Everything I know. They tried to control me like Wei Gongzi did." Says Wen Qionglin. "I tried to resist their orders as much as I could. When they failed, they tried to create something similar to me. Guess who the perfect specimen was?" 

Lan Wangji feels his heart stop beating. Jin clan tried to control a fierce corpse. They tried to recreate fierce corpses. Just thinking about what havoc they could cause just by being able to control the ghost general makes him nauseous. If they could create a fierce corpse much stronger than Wen Qionglin then… He doesn't even want to think about it.

"I guess you can't name him. I'll answer it for you. It was Nie Mingjue, the former sect leader of the Nie Clan. With resent as strong as ocean tides." 

Nie Mingjue, the Nie Mingjue who calmied to have murdered by Jin Guangyao's hands. He was turned into a fierce corpse? 

"He said he was killed by Jin Guangyao." 

"Ah, yes. I forgot to mention. It was Jin Guangyao who tried to control me." 

"But how? he was barely strong enough to maneuver his sword." 

Wen Qionglin now looks frustrated. He runs his hand through his hairs, letting out a low groan. "They kept everything a secret, didn't they?" He lets out a long exasperated breath before saying, "Stygian tiger amulet." 

If Lan Wangji was a human he'd collapse down in the mud. His head spins in all directions, and he thinks he'll throw up. 

Stygian tiger amulet was destroyed by Wei Ying. He destroyed it when he, when he ripped himself into pieces. There was not a single hair of him left, let alone the amulet. 

"Wei Gongzi broke the amulet in half when he died. As he died only one half was destroyed, the other half was collected by Jin Guangyao." 

Then is it possible that a piece of Wei Ying was there too? just a piece of his clothes, or perhaps a drop of his blood? 

Foolish. 

Why was he crying for Wei Ying again? Why was he hoping that Wei Ying was there for him? 

"Hanguan-jun, Do you remember the time when a heavy storm drowned Lanling city?" 

Lan Wangji nods, this is as much as he can do after his emotional turmoil. He didn't expect to be faced with unfolded secrets. He can't speak any other words.

"That was the time when Nie Mingjue's fierce corpse came alive and went out of control. There was a boy named Xuanyu who was tasked with experimenting with fierce corpses. Do you know him?"

Lan Wangji shakes his head. A boy who was acquainted with Jin Guangyao's heinous schemes was better left unknown. He was wicked enough to experiment with dead bodies. He wouldn't want to know about him. But Wen Qionglin tells about him anyways. 

"Xuanyu was a nice kid. At least, the nicest one I've seen in the prison. All I can say is that he was really smart. He had a little fight with Xue Yang there. A mistake probably happened and the seals that trapped Nie Mingjue's  resent broke free. He attacked the poor boy." His shoulder slumps in a tired way as he continues. "I mayhaps liked the boy enough to break my chains to save his life." 

"Xue Yang was there too?" Why was he surprised? He had led a life full of lies. Knowing a few truths here and there shouldn't be shocking.

"Ah, yes. Xue Yang was there too. He was the one who prodded with Stygian tiger amulet recklessly. He nailed my head to keep me under his control. Anyways, after that mistake he and Xuanyu were banished from the Jin sect. As far as I heard from the guards' gossip, they both killed themselves in later years." 

"Killed themselves? How can that be? Song Zichen said Xue Yang killed him and made a fierce corpse out of him. He controlled Song Zichen to kill people. So why'd he kill himself?" 

Wen Qionglin stays quiet for a while. Poking his sleeves he murmurs,"Resentful energy harms the mind." 

So it was resentful energy which made his mind astray. 

"He didn't have a golden core strong enough to sustain resentful energy. I'm sure something triggered him to commit suicide."

Silence falls upon them as they stare at the lights of Nightless city. 

A tragedy that triggers one's emotions drives them to insanity, to kill themselves. 

It was exactly what happened to Wei Ying. It was true that he was in grief when his Wen friends were killed. Even back then he was sane enough to save himself from the swords and arrows coming towards him. If not for Jiang Yanli's tragic death, he would have been sane enough to wipe down three thousand cultivators all by himself. 

It was her death that made him lose his mind. He remembers how torturously Wei Ying screamed after understanding her death. The shrill still sends shiver down his spine. After her death Wei Ying didn't care if arrows were piercing through his body. He didn't move when swords were slashing his limbs. He only howled, in agony of losing his loved one. 

Wen Qionglin lets out another shaky breath, "I believe Hanguan-jun doesn't know about Wei Gongzi's golden core either." 

Lan Wangji braces himself for another heart piercing truth. He shakes his head, shuts his eyes tightly and waits. For the sky to break down on him. For the earth to engulf him in.

"Wei Gongzi gave his golden core to his brother, Jiang Wanyin." 

He lets out a pained whimper. It was not the truth he was expecting. He expected him to say the massacre in Lotus pier broke his golden core. Or He was attacked by Wen Zhuliu, his core was destroyed by the Wens or something horrible. 

What he just heard was beyond horrible. How is it possible to give one's core to others? Even if that was  possible, why'd one give up their core. Why'd anyone give up something as precious as their heart? Why'd Wei Ying be so selfless?

"Jiang Wanyin got caught trying to get back his parents body. That's when Wen Chao caught him and destroyed his core. When me and my sister helped Wei Gongzi hide, he begged my sister to return back his core. I wish my sister could keep her experiment a secret. If he hadn't known core transplant was possible, then…." 

Then none of that would happen. If he hadn't given up his core he'd never succumb to unorthodox path. He wouldn't be everyone's enemy, he wouldn't have died.  

He kept all this a secret. He smiled like he didn't give up his most precious gift. The gift he honed with blood and sweat, day nights of hardships. He was just an ordinary man controlling resentful energy. Of course it'd kill him. That's why he was always so skeletal. That's why he avoided human contact. If Lan Wangji had checked just a little, then he would have been able to detect the emptiness. Only if he was more confident.If only….

"That's why I'm stopping my sister from coming up with that theory again." Wen Qionglin sighs. "I'm trying whatever I can to stop the war. Even so, I'm sure the Sunshot campaign will take place again. If by any chance anyone close to Wei Gongzi loses their core, I won't let him give up his core." 

"I'll see that does not happen." 

They couldn't continue their conversation longer as Wen Qing came by asking what her brother was doing there alone. He's thankful to her for arriving. He wasn't sure how much more revealing he could take. He feels sick in the stomach after knowing about Wei Ying's sacrifice. 

 

He snuggles beside little Wei Ying's sleeping body. He's growing up so fast that Lan Wangji feels afraid. If war takes place, he won't be able to stop Wei Ying from joining the war. He hopes he can keep him safe, from all harmful people, from the harms that Wei Ying causes to himself. He's confident now but he has lost his strength. He can barely do anything other than advise Wei Ying. He's not cunning enough to deceive Wei Ying into believing what he wants. All he can do is just give advice and wait to see if Wei Ying acts according to his advice. 

 

Notes:

shout out to usuer @ugly_sunfish for guessing Wen Ning's (and other's) story back at chapter 17

Chapter 24: Tenderness and melting ice

The hunting competition will take place on the third day, after the second day's conference. It's only the second day at Qishan and Lan Wangji wishes to return to Gusu. He does not feel safe here, or rather he does not think that Wei Ying is safe here. 

"I'll be alright," Wei Ying says, fixing his hair. "I know Wen Xu gives creepy vibes but what can we do? We can't tell Qingheng-jun to return to Cloud recesses just because you don't like how Wen Xu looked at me, can we?" He pats Lan Wangji comfortingly, placing him on his shoulder. "I can defend myself if he attacks. So don't worry."  

That's what Lan Wangji worries the most.  

 

In the conference all the sects introduced their disciples and what they were best at.

Surprisingly Wen Qionglin introduces him as the best young archer of Qishan. And his sister stays the best young physician.

He guesses, Wen Ruohan's purpose for this is to know his opponents better. Who to deal with and who to kill as fast as possible. He doesn't ask why the female heirs are absent. Which clarifies that Wen Ruohan was not looking for concubines. He paid extra attention when it was Lan sects turn to introduce themselves. His eyes glinted when Wei Ying introduced himself as the best in the aspect of talisman and spells. 

"So you are Wei Wuxian. You're merely a kid." Wen Ruohan smirked, "Are you sure he made those talismans and spells all by himself?" 

He doesn't like how Wen Ruohan was asking about Wei Ying. He doesn't like how he smiled when Wei Ying told him his age. There's a meticulous plan behind his harmless questions. And Lan Wangji prays that he fails.  

 

At the end of the conference, disciples were allowed to wander around, prepare for tomorrow's competition, and take a better look at Zhuque mountain. 

Wei Ying couldn't do any of it. 

As soon as the conference ended Wen Xu stuck himself with Wei Ying, bragging about all the lands they have. All the luxuries the Wen sect gave to their disciples. It occurs to Lan Wangji that, Wen Ruohan's real intention was to make Wei Ying appear before him, lure him into the Wen sect.  

He prides himself that Wei Ying's talent is well known enough to make Wen Ruohan want him. It also scares him what Wen Ruohan might do to get him. 

Surely Wen Ruohan isn't pathetic enough to get one young boy and go through all the trouble? 

"In simple words, if you become a disciple here, you'll be free to do whatever you want. No more three thousand rules." Says Wen Xu. He had slung an arm around Wei Ying's shoulders as if they were good friends. Lan Wangji hates how he's rubbing himself beside Wei Ying. Even Wei Ying, despite having the most friendly personality, is uncomfortable by his closeness. 

"That's good to know, Wen Gongzi." Wei Ying says with a strained laugh. "If we're done talking, may I go? My friends are waiting for me." 

"Actually, no. We're not done." Wen Xu retorts. He leans down to Wei Ying's ear to whisper, " I need to find something and I want you to make a detecting spell or talisman." 

Wei Ying yanks out of Wen Xu's hold, wiping his ears, visibly shaken. He laughs as if he wasn't disturbed at all. "I can't just do that." 

"What! Why not? aren't you the best at talismans and spells? You invented quite a lot of them. Why not now? " 

"Wen Gongzi, that doesn't mean I can come up with something new in a day." 

Wen Xu raised a brow half frowning, "You can't? or you don't want to?" 

Lan Wangji had enough of it. He can't watch Wen Xu harassing Wei Ying like he did something wrong. "Wei Ying, Say you can't and leave him be." 

Wei Ying shakes his head. "I can't because I'm not allowed to." Wei Ying answers him. Good, now they can leave. "But! I can help by teaching you to create a spell on your own." 

"Wei Ying, why?" 

Wei Ying pouts as if to say Why not?

 

And thus Wen Xu allows Wei Ying a free entrance to their Library. Lan Wangji never imagined he'd ever see a library bigger than the Lan clan has. Wen clan's library is enormous with hundreds of shelves. Book collections here have to be millions. Wei Ying stares at the library with starry eyes. His eyes wander around from shelf to shelf. He clenches and unclenches his fist to control himself from jumping. "Find out the books you need. You better be grateful to me. Outsiders aren't allowed in here." Wen Xu says slumping on the floor. He doesn't look like he's eager to learn. Lan Wangji can assure even if he was eager to learn he wouldn't be able to invent anything like Wei Ying. 

They notice Wen Qing quietly taking her leave from the library just as Wei Ying tries to look around. "Hey! you! Qing!" Wen Xu calls her rudely. Although Wen Qing glares at him like she wants him dead, she silently bows to him as an acknowledgment. "Keep an eye on the Lan boy. Make sure he doesn't steal any books." How presumptuous of him to think that Wei Ying will steal their books. He even has the audacity to fall asleep just after accusing Wei Ying of stealing. 

Had Lan Wangji been a worse human, had he the power, he would have ripped Wen Xu's throat right there. 

Wen Qing looks like she too was thinking of ripping his guts out. She does nothing but let out a loud exhausted huff. 

"Sorry, you have to be stuck with me." giving her an apologetic smile he goes back searching for books. He doesn't only collect books of talisman and spells but also of other topics that aren't available in the Gusu Lan library. "So your plan was to get into the Qishan Wen library from the very beginning." Lan Wangji asked in amusement. 

"I heard that Qishan Wen has a library bigger than ours. I was dying to take a look at it. I didn't think I'd be able to get my hands over the books." 

Beside him Wen Qing snorts, "So you tricked Wen Xu's dumbass to get you in?" 

"I did nothing to trick him. I said I'll teach him to create the spell he wants. And he brought me to the library. Did I ask him to? No I did not." 

Wen Qing raises her eyebrows like she doesn't believe Wei Ying. 

"I know I said I'll teach him but I never guaranteed that Wen Gongzi will actually learn. If he can't learn by tomorrow, that's his fault." 

Clever.  He pinches Wei Ying's cheeks just because he can.

Even Wen Qing is mesmerized by his subterfuge. "Wen Xu will kill you if he knows this." 

"Only if he does. I believe Jiejie will keep this a secret." 

"Who's your Jiejie?" Wen Qing scoffs "Call me Wen Guniang." 

Wei Ying giggles and goes back to collecting his books. Sometimes Wen Qing recommends books that might be of his interest, she helps him find books Wei Ying can't find from the numerous shelves the library has. Sharing their likes and dislikes with passion. 

Lan Wangji doesn't like to think about it. Regardless, no matter how much Lan Wangji wants to avoid the thought, he has to accept it one day or another.

Wei Ying likes Wen Qing. 

Maybe this young little Wei Ying is unaware of his likings and Young Wen Qing has no worldly attraction towards Wei Ying yet. Lan Wangji is sure they'll get it together eventually. After all, he has seen Wei Ying treating Wen Qing like a house mistress. He has seen him defend her and her family, throw away the luxurious life he had for the woman he cared about. If that was not out of love Lan Wangji wonders what it was. He wants to believe it was out of kindness. It was because Wei Ying was the most selfless, generous person in the whole world. It was because Wei Ying believed it to be the right choice. 

No matter what it is, it's hard to not to think there was no intimacy between them. Wei Ying lived alongside Wen Qing for almost two years. For two years the two cultivators took care of their extended family and each other. Wen Qing was there for Wei Ying when Lan Wangji wasn't. She was there when Wei Ying was lonely, giving him her sweet company. She was there when Wei Ying was sick, giving him her comforting care. She was there when Wei Ying was happy. She was there when Wei Ying cried. She neither agreed or disagreed when people accused her of bewitching the Yilling Laozuo, and had graciously agreed to be burned alive only for Wei Ying's safety. After all she has done for Wei Ying, does Lan Wangji have the right to be jealous of her?

Even now, despite being young, they slot with each other like puzzle pieces. They already have common likes and dislikes. Wei Ying jokes and teases her and Wen Qing scoffs but fails to bite back her smiles. 

 

When it comes to reading all the piles of books and scrolls, Wen Qing asks how he's going to finish all of it in one afternoon. How he's even going to memorize them before Wen Xu wakes up. 

"Who said I'm going to read them all at once." Wei Ying fishes out a talisman and shows her like he's sharing a secret. "I call it a copy paste talisman. If you put the talisman on the text and activate this rune," he says, surging spiritual energy to a particular circle. "It'll copy and archive the text for as long as you want." 

"And then?" Wen Qing asks with a deep curiosity. 

"And then if  you activate this rune the copied text will be encrypted on the paper." He shows her a small example of how his talisman works. "As you can see," Wei Ying continues, pointing at the clutter of characters. "The only problem here is that the encrypted letters are all inverted. It's also why this is not made public yet." 

"And you are going to use an inverse mirror to read all this?" 

"You're a genius Qing-jie. That's exactly what I do. I'll use an inverse mirror and write them down later. Please don't tell Wen Xu. I'm not stealing books as he said." 

Wen Qing huffs and rubs the bridge of her nose,as if all the mind tricks are starting to tire her. "I wouldn't care even if you steal. Library should be open to all. So….There's no way to fix it?"

"There is. But I don't feel like working on it anymore." 

"You're okay writing down all these but can't work on fixing a talisman?" 

Wei Ying pouts frowning, "Writing down what's in front of my eyes isn't the same as finding the problem and then finding the solution." He huffs copying the books. "My head doesn't magically create new stuff. It takes a lot of time and energy, you know." 

To that Wen Qing gives him an understanding smile. "Yes, that I know very well." 

Wei Ying smiles back, like he knows that she understood by personal experience. "Here, I'll give you one. you can mess around and maybe find a way to fix it." 

Despite rolling her eyes she takes the talisman carefully tucking it in her robes. 

 

*

 

Lan Wangji was right about Wen Xu's failure. He failed to understand even the basic concepts of spells. Even when Wei Ying explained them in the simplest way possible, Wen Xu set fire to all of his trials. He's the worst student Wei Ying ever had. Wei Ying mentioned him all the spells that can be used for detection, all the references he can use to create the kind of spell he wants. It was anticipated that Wen Xu would fail himself. 

"Fuck this!" Wen Xu shouts throwing the books Wei Ying handed him. "I'll find the Yin Iron myself." 

 

All this time the object Wen Xu was looking for was the Yin Iron. He wanted Wei Ying's help to find it. He wanted Wei Ying to be in his sect to find ways to control it.  "The Yin Iron!" Lan Wangji blurted in panic. His head buzzed with screams and shouts of cultivator in a deathly war. 

Yin Iron. Yin Iron. It was all because of Yin Iron. Because Wen Ruohan prodded with Yin Iron. If Wen Ruohan gets his hand on the Yin Iron again- then, then...

"If the Yin Iron gets in Wen Ruohan's hand he'll destroy everything." Lan Wangji thinks, if he can hide the Yin Iron before Wen Ruohan finds it, then, the war will not be as horrifying as it had been in his life. They will not have to see his comrades turn into walking corpses. They will not have to fight their own people. 

"What's an Yin Iron?" Wei Ying asked.

"Yin Iron is a type of metal that once absorbed vast amounts of resentful energy." he exasperated. "It was divided into pieces and sealed hidden among five great clans. No one could control its energy, no one could live past even for attempting." 

"Then, if Wen Ruohan finds it and tries to use it," Wei Ying says walking out of the library. "He'll die trying to do so. Are you worried about him?" 

"No," Lan Wangji would never worry about Wen Ruohan dying. He'd rather be happy at his death. However, for unknown reasons Wen Ruohan didn't die trying to control it. Of course he had the best physician to keep him alive. That doesn't mean he succeeded completely. He could  barely order the dead, turn the living into dead puppets, he couldn't control their attacks or move them to his will. Lan Wangji must make sure, whatever kept him alive was destroyed or displaced. He can't have the Yin Iron. 

"There is a piece of Yin Iron hidden in the cold cave of Cloud recesses." Lan Wangji reveals. "Wen Ruohan will look for it there. He'll have no mercy to get what he wants."

Wei Ying stops walking, "....How do you know that?" 

"Because I- I…" Because he saw it happen. Because Lan Yi told him about it personally. Because Lan Wangji found the pieces. Because Lan Wangji saw Cloud recesses burn to ashes just because of it. Because he had lived through the fate the cultivational world may soon face. 

"Wei Ying,I-" he gulps down the fear of telling the truth. That he's no other than the second heir of Lan, Lan Zhan. That Wei Ying and him had fought together to find the Yin Iron. That he waited for Wei Ying for a long time. That he was so exhausted from waiting that he came to find Wei Ying here. 

"Wuming," Wei Ying pressed. He narrowed his eyes examining Lan Wangji thoroughly. Could Wei Ying tell who he was? He was a genius afterall. It shouldbt be surprising if he did. "Did you perhaps, shed your skin?" 

Shed skin? Why'd he ask this out of nowhere? 

"Wei Ying, it's not the time to joke around. If the Yin Iron gets in Wen Ruohan's hand he'll be unstoppable." Lan Zhan exclaims. "There will be a war. And-" 

Wei Ying clamps his mouth with his hands. Lan Wangji glares at Wei Ying for not letting him talk. "Don't glare at me! Just- Shut up. okay! Don't say a word." He let's go. Pressing the frown that formed itself in his forehead, he let out a loud groan. 

"Wei Ying?"

"No! I told you not to speak." Wei Ying orders. Did the news of war and Yin Iron made him so angry. Does he think that Lan Wangji was lying to him? Did he made a mistake by talking about it? Wei Ying is a child afterall. He shouldn't make Wei Ying take the burden of truth. But if he can't tell Wei Ying then who else? Who else will believe him? Song Zichen, perhaps. But the man never cared about the war. He was only here to save his cultivational partner who has nothing to do with the war. Will he care?  Nie Mingjue will not believe him. He doesn't trust Nie Mingjue's judgements either.   

He waited so long to give Wei Ying a carefree childhood. He fears that he has waited too long that now it's far beyond late. Wen Ruohan is on his way to grab the Yin Iron, rule over the clans.

Wei Ying sighed and gestured at his body."Take a look at yourself. You're getting pale." 

As Wei Ying directed Lan Wangji looked at his own body. Where there were supposed to be cerulean blue scales, there were sky blue ones. His azure blue claws turned a few shade lighter as well. "This…." 

Did he unconsciously shed skin? Something like that never happened. He couldn't comprehend why he'd suddenly get pale in color. Or was it the panic that's running in his veins, making his blood colder. 

"Yes, this!" Wei Ying says. "This is what happens when you reveal something I don't know, Am I right?" Wei Ying asked sternly. "I remember what you told me. You are here to keep me company. Not to reveal secrets the universe held."

Lan Wangji's ears rang at Wei Ying's words. He hadn't thought about the wish he made for years. He realized that there was an unspoken contract. He's only allowed to do what he wished for. He only wished to stay beside Wei Ying. He only wished to make sure Wei Ying was happy, getting what he deserved. He didn't pledge that he'd move heaven and earth to make Wei Ying happy. He only wished to make sure he was happy. That's the reason why he doesn't have a full human body, the reason why he can't touch anything other than Wei Ying. He huffed, maybe he laughed as well, at the irony of his life. He got exactly what he wished for, nothing more, nothing less. He got what he wanted. Is it not cruel of them to give him Wei Ying in every way he can't have. 

"Wuming," Wei Ying whispered, rubbing his back. "Hey look at me. Don't be like that." Lan Wangji's eyes wandered over Wei Ying's young face. He's hurt by Lan Wangji's mindless blabbering, laughing like a maniac. What had he done? Speak of war to such a young child? was he out of his mind. 

"I'm sorry Wei Ying." 

"Hey, if you... continue revealing secrets, Will you…. will the heavens take you back?" 

"I'm unaware." He coils around Wei Ying's forearm. He's suddenly so exhausted. Lan Wangji doesn't know how he will manage. If there's something Lan Wangji knows that can be changed easily, why shouldn't he reveal them. 

"Then, please don't reveal any secret from now on." Wei Ying smiles. Holdings his arm up, close to his face. "I can't risk losing you." He nuzzles his nose atop Lan Wangji's head, pressing a kiss in the space between his horns. Lan Wangji nuzzled back saying, "I don't want to lose Wei Ying either." 

Not again, please, No. 

Wei Ying smiles softly at him. A nod, as if it was a promise of eternity. 

 

"Xian-Gege!" Wen Qionglin called, running up to him for a hug. His sister by his side, with big shocked eyes. 

"Wen Ning!" Wei Ying hugged back the boy. "And Qing-jie,hi again." Wen Qing responded with a glare. 

"Xian-Gege, Lan er-Gongzi is waiting for you at the mountain foot." Wen Qionglin  says. At the same time he eyes Lan Wangji, directing him to the left. To meet him again. He's honestly too exhausted to know whatever he might want to say. He still nods. Why are they even keeping this a secret? It's not like certain individuals are unaware of his existence. He'd talk about it right now if Wen Qing wasn't there. With how she glares at Wei Ying, he isn't sure if he can entrust him to her just yet. 

"I'll wait for you in your room." He says to Wei Ying, flying towards the guest quarters. 

 

*

 

"Are you aware Wen Ruohan is looking for the Yin Iron?" Lan Wangji says as soon as he meets Wen Qionglin in their previous meeting place. 

Wen Ning halted mid bowing, mumbling, "No. It's so much sooner than before." 

"He tasked Wen Xu to look for it." Lan Wangji says. "Apparently, Wen Ruohan has an eye for Wei Ying's talent. He wants Wei Ying under his tutelage. I'm guessing he wants Wei Ying to make spells to control the power of Yin Iron." 

Wen Qionglin inhaled, "He has Wen Zhuliu with him, isn't that enough." 

"May I ask what your sister is doing? Wen Ruohan used to keep her close back then." He used to keep her close for her excellent medical skills. For if Wen Ruohan loses control of his mind she'd save her. 

"My sister isn't what she used to be anymore." Wen Qionglin huffs. "I'm to blame for her degradation. I begged her not to show her talents to full potential. And now that I am.. not like before as well, she has very few reasons to obey Wen Ruohan to her death." He continues. "Actually I wanted to talk about how I- we came to be what we are now." Lan Wangji nods, permitting him to speak. He holds his breath, for if it's another earth shattering truth that Lan Wangji can't handle. 

"We are the case of soul splitting." Says Wen Qionglin.

Soul splitting can only be performed by immortals. For a moment Lan Wangji was surprised until it occurred that his family history prides in several immortals, including Lan Yi herself. However, "To perform soul splitting, one has to have a willing soul and a willing body." 

A soul willing to leave its flesh and a body willing to accept its soul. 

Wen Ning noded, "We- I mean, Me, Nie sect leader and Song Zichen had a willing soul." 

So was Lan Wangji's. Due to years of exhaustion and loneliness. He was willing to die anytime. 

"And the willing body?" he asked. The body has to be as willing as the soul. It has to recognise the soul and make place for the new soul to occupy the body. 

"As for us fierce corpses," Wen Qionglin says vaguely, placing his hand as if the other two people were by his side. "Our souls were almost shattered. Our souls have once left our bodies, only held in by a thread of respectful energy. Maybe that's why our shattered souls could easily take place in our body, alongside the body's soul." He pats over his heart. "I have always felt like I've two souls. I think this body's soul never left the body. It's sharing its space with the broken soul.

 Lan Wangji nods in understatement. "I guess Hanguan-jun's body could not accept your soul for that very reason." 

"Because I never died." Lan Wangji claimed. He never wished to die before now. Even the thought of killing himself never crossed his mind.

Ridiculous. He couldn't have a body because he wasn't dead, because his soul was not shattered. As if a hundred and twenty three years of suffering hadn't consumed his soul. Decades and decades he lived like a walking corpse. He was called the iced statue, unable to show emotions. He was no better than a fierce corpse.  

"So I'm guessing, whoever granted your wish, granted ours as well." Wen Qionglin bowed his head. 

"Please do not thank me. I had no intention of helping you." He even forgot about him. 

Wen Qionglin smiled, "But it's for you that we are here, able to love our loved one's to the fullest." 

Able to love our loved ones to fullest, huh?

Was he able to love his love like Wen Qionglin mentioned? He is sure if he had a human body he could love Wei Ying even more. He could embrace him in his arms, never letting a fly harm him. He could fight everyone all by himself, never letting Wei Ying shed a sweat. He could… 

"Do you know about any constrictions? Soul splitting spell has conditions till the soul can fulfill its wish." 

He recalled the accidents back with Wei Ying. He had talked about the future and lost a bit of his color. And if they are the case of soul splitting, their souls will return to their original body once their wish is fulfilled. Same, if the soul fails to fulfill the wish or break the conditions. 

For his case, make sure of  Wei Ying's happiness. 

He doesn't know how long that will take. Or if it is ever possible to achieve eternal happiness. 

"I think I'm aware of two conditions and consequences for breaking them." Wen Qionglin said after a long thoughtful pause. "One, if I talk about future events that haven't taken place yet. Two, when I make A-Jie worry. In both cases I get fearfully ill." 

"Do you feel your soul disappearing?" He can't help but ask. He knows he'll feel envious if the answer is negative. Why shouldn't he feel envious? Others can have a full body and only get ill when the conditions are broken while Lan Wangji has to fear of disappearing, of losing his second chance to be with Wei Ying. 

"I think I do." The reply made Lan Wangji feel a little calm. "I feel empty inside once I recover from my illness. Like I've lost something very important to me." 

Lan Wangji wanted to ask how many times this has happened to him, so that Lan Wangji can guess how many times he can break the rules before he completely disappears. 

Just then a man in Wen robes called for Wen Qionglin .

"Xiang-Bo." Wen Qionglin stood up to greet the man with a small bow. The man in question smiled serenely. It's a smile Lan Wangji had watched for the better part of his life. The said smile only belonged to his dearest one and only son, Sizhui. He felt a tug in his heart as he continued to take in the man's facial features. An ever pleasant soft smile, high cheekbones with a long nose, the nose that everyone said to be similar to him. His doey big eyes crinkling at the age, laughing lines despite being so young. The man in question looked no other than Lan Sizhui. If not for the lack of his forehead ribbon and Gusu Lan robes Lan Wangji would have jumped to take this man in the embrace of his arms. 

"What are you doing here alone, aren't the mosquitoes bothering you?" The man smiled and asked.

"I have my mosquito repelling pouch with me. Are you going back?" Wen Qionglin  responded by showing his pouch of herbs, not answering to what he was asked. From an outsider's view it would look like he was talking to himself. 

"Yes, I have to go back to village. I came to wish you good luck for tomorrow." The man replied. He sighed and continued, "Be careful with others. I know you're strong enough to defend yourself. But… our Wen heirs are no good news. So don't get into trouble again. Understood?" 

Wen Qionglin bowed with sincerity saying, "Understood. Be safe while traveling." 

When  the man was out of earshot Wen Qionglin mumbled with a sorrow filled smile, "Hanguan-jun, do you remember the kid A-Yuan with Wei Gongzi? That's his father." 

The man that looked so much like Sizhui  was his biological father. Of course, why else would someone resemble Sizhui so much? "He grows up looking like his father." Lan Wangji smiled, recalling all the time he spent with the boy.

"I'm sorry?" Wen Qionglin's breath hitched.

"I apologize for not mentioning earlier. I adopted A-Yuan." 

"h-He didn't die?" Wen Qionglin's eyes  shone with tears and hope. 

"He almost did." Lan Wangji answers. "I found him bundled in a hollow tree. He was weak with fever and terror." he adds remembering how he carried a trembling child when he himself almost didn't make it alive. No one thought A-Yuan would live, Lan Wangji didn't think they'd overcome the tragedy they were forced to face. Miraculously, A-Yuan's sickness got better, so did Lan Wangji's. Though A-Yuan lost all of his memories in the burial mounds, or his family, of the war and the siege, Lan Wangji did not. If not for A-Yuan, his life would have been a thousand times worse than it was. "He grew up healthy and strong. Later becoming the sect leader of Lan Clan." 

Wen Qionglin dropped to his knees. He bowed his head, protesting before Lan Wangji, like he's some kind of God. Bewildered, Lan Wangji told him to get up but in vain. Wen Qionglin's shoulder shook as much as his voice. Crying he says, "Thank You. Thankyou Hanguan-jun. For taking care of my cousin. Giving him the privilege despite his birth. Thank you." He kept mumbling thankyou to Lan Wangji that he couldn't bear anymore. He doesn't deserve the devotion Wen Qionglin was showing. He did what he could, the barest minimum. "Please stop." 

Wen Qionglin sits up wiping the tears from his face. "Sorry. It's just, I'm…" he smiles widely before saying "I can see why Wei Gongzi loved you so much. If only things were different you could have been together." 

Needles  pierced his lungs, he stopped breathing as the words echoed in Lan Wangji's mind. 

Wei Gongzi loved you so much. Loved you so much. Loved you.

 "Please do not joke." It has to be a joke. Why'd he say Wei Ying loved him when he pushed Lan Wangji away countless times. Even if things were different they could never be together. Not as lovers nor as good friends.

Wen Qionglin waves his hands in the air hurriedly apologizing, "I wasn't joking." He bows his head again, "Sorry for assuming. But I really want Hanguan-jun to know that," 

No , please don't tell me things I don't want to know. 

"Wei Gongzi loved Hanguan-jun in the purest way one could. Even if Hanguan-jun saw him as nothing more than a friend, please respect his feelings." 

This has to be a joke. This is not true. Wei Ying did not love him. "Wei Ying loved your sister." The words slip out of Lan Wangji's mouth. 

Wen Qionglin coughed as if a bone was stuck in his throat. He shook his head violently as he said, "Why'd you think that?"  

"Wei Ying is a man. A grown up man so close to a grown up woman. They treated each other as husband and wife." 

Wen Qionglin shakes his head again, "No! They treated each other like brother and sister. They were nothing more than friends." 

"Are you sure you're not in denial?" 

Wen Qionglin's brows twitched. It may be the first time he saw Wen Qionglin angry. "No Lan-er Gongzi." He shouted, pointing finger at Lan Wangji, "I think it's you who's in denial." He groans with frustration, "Both you and Wei Gongzi! You're both in denial." 

"I'm not in denial. I know what I feel for Wei Ying." Lan Wangji rebutted. 

"You're denying Wei Gongzi's love for you!" Wen Qionglin countered. Groaning, he continues, "So did Wei Gongzi! He thought you hated him, he didn't want to accept his own feelings just because he was so afraid of another heartbreak." 

 

Piss off! piss off! piss off! go away! go away! leave me alone! 

 

Wei Ying's last words to him echoed.  "No, Wei Ying told me to leave him alone." 

"Did you not do the same?" With a tone as sharp as a knife Wen Qionglin asked. "When he came to study in Cloud recesses, when he tried so hard to be your friend, did you not tell him to leave you alone. Did you once not push him away like he did later? Back then, did you truly mean them?" 

Lan Wangji shook his head. He didn't. He never meant them. He was scared, too scared to be close, too scared to fall deeper in the endless loop of love. He wanted Wei Ying. 

Lan Wangji wasn't sure if he was crying or not. He was not sure if he flopped in the ground again or was being levitated to the sky. He felt his whole world spinning. He felt his whole body bursting with nerves. His heart may have stopped beating. None of those mattered anymore. "My feelings were reciprocated? Wei Ying loved me?" he spoke out, ignoring the shakiness in his voice. 

"Yes, Hanguan-jun. You and Wei Ying loved and valued each other the same." 

"Then why," Lan Wangji clenched his fist,  "Why didn't you tell me before, when he was alive." 

If he knew his feelings were returned, if he knew Wei Ying was not playing around, If only he knew his presence was wanted he'd- he could have at least hide Wei Ying in his arms, before everything went downhill, before Jiang Yanli was killed, before Jin Zixuan was killed. He could take Wei Ying's hand in his, he could say you don't have to walk alone in a single log plank. He would leave his all just to save Wei Ying. 

"How could we Hanguan-jun? The situation we were in, we could barely trust the civilians, let alone cultivators." Wen Qionglin uttered. "We trusted you because of Wei Gongzi. Because everytime he got drunk he'd speak of you." He inhaled a lungful of air before saying, "He'd fondly talk about how he met you, how rigid you were, how you didn't let him drink, how you'd act." 

"Are you sure he loved me? Did he ever  tell you that?" Lan Wangji asked. He still can't believe Wei Ying loved him. He couldn't get his hopes up after all this time. 

"He never said those words out loud. I'm sure he never said those words to himself either." 

Even when Lan Wangji held his hopes as low as possible, he felt his heart throb with ache. What was he supposed to think? How can Wen Qionglin be so sure that Wei Ying loved him when he never said it. 

"Hanguan-jun, please. If, "I'd spend the rest of my life copying Lan precepts under Lan Zhan's supervision" meant anything, it'd be love. Love doesn't have to be expressed by those three words." 

"Then why'd he always push me away? Why did it always feel like Wei Ying wanted me to go away?" 

Wen Qionglin shook his head. "It's simple isn't it? He didn't want to hurt you, your reputation." He says. "Think about it Hanguan-jun, The righteous Hanguan-jun walking along with the infamous criminal  Yilling patriarch. Do you think Wei Gongzi wouldn't sacrifice his own desires for your reputation." 

Lan Wangji stayed silent. Even though the two Wei Ying he knows are now different, he can tell how much Wei Ying cares about others reputation, how little he cares of his own. "He would." belatedly Lan Wangji nodded. 

"So please don't ever say A-jie loved him. She'd start stabbing you." Wen Qionglin chuckled. 

"Who did I love?" Wen Qing walked up to them. "Of Course I'll start stabbing if anyone falsely accuses me of falling in love." she stood behind him with a deep frown, crossing her arms over her chest. "I've been watching you mumbling to yourself and this is what I hear from you, A-Ning?" 

Lan Wangji stays quiet, not sure what to do. He feels embarrassed to think that Wei Ying shared an intimate relationship with her. He even thought that Wei Ying will fall in love with the lady in front of him. 

"A-jie." Wen Qionglin laughed as welcoming as a younger brother can manage. His sister didn't bat an eye, which Lan Wangji deciphered as the elder siblings 'please explain' look. "Did you meet Xiang Bo? He's going back to Dafan." 

"Yes I did. Don't try to change the topic." 

"Ahaha" said Wen Ning nervously. "What do you think about Wei Gongzi? Do you like him?" 

Wen Qing gasped, "You think I'm in love with him don't you." 

"No I did not!" 

"Then someone said this to you! Was it Wen Chao? I swear that monkey faced-" 

"A-Jie, No one thinks you're in love with Wei Gongzi." Wen Qionglin cried in frustration. He gives Lan Wangji a meaningful look as if saying, 'See? I told you.' 

"I wanted to ask if you think of him as a good friend? or a sibling perhaps..." 

"Speaking of that!" she tugs on her brother's ears, "Why did you call him Xian-Gege? He's nothing of an older brother. You are the same age as him." 

Lan Wangji supposes he shouldn't be watching this. It's a private moment between two siblings. As he floats away he hears Wen Ning exclaim, "He's more of a brother than those cousins of mine." 

"What did he do to get your trust?" his sister inquires "A-Ning, I don't want you hurt. Yes, Wei Wuxian looks like a good kid. He's a Lan disciple after all. But that doesn't mean we can trust him so easily. World is cruel, anyone would betray those Lan principles to use the weaks like us." 

Lan Wangji halted at his place. He wanted to tell her that his Wei Ying would never betray his morals for a flimsy excuse of power. He'd never use the weaks for his own sake. Wei Ying is not like that at all. 

Wen Qionglin's gaze meets his, he nods as if he understood what Lan Wangji wanted to say and said, "In this world he's the next person I'd trust after you." He gave his sister a confident smile, "Please A-Jie, trust me." His sister sighed and patted her brother's head. "I'll always trust my A-Ning. But keep your distance from him." she warns. "Wen Xu sounds mad at him. It's not good news." 

 

After how Wen Xu stormed off, it's not surprising. He'll let Wei Ying know.

 

Notes:

I hope all the questions are answered, and I hope they make sense :)
if you still have questions you can ask and I'll try to answer them all

Half the fic plot is Lan Wangji asking: Wei Ying, why ?
and Wei Ying replying: why not :3 ??

*

Wei Ying and (invisible) Lan Wangji: *having a heartfelt conversation in the middle of the compound*
Random disciple watching from afar: he's so fucked up in the head

*
Lan Wangji: Wei Ying loved your sister (╯︵╰,)
Wen Ning: *choking on spit* He did what?!?!?!

Chapter 25: Setting sun, night befalls

Notes:

this chapter is dedicated to Wei Ying and Lan Wangji's poor life decisions.

Wei Ying inquired about his whereabouts  as soon as he arrived. Wen Qionglin's words still echoes in his ears. He flys to Wei Ying's bed where he was polishing his sword. Snuggling Wei Ying on his neck, Lan Wangji tells him about Wen Qionglin, who can also see him.

"Wha- Really? Why didn't he say anything?" 

"Wen Qionglin is a nice kid. He may have wanted to keep your secret." 

Wei Ying huffs, "It's not really a secret. No one believes me. I still can't believe Shufu sent me to the mind healers for talking to you." 

"From his perspective he saw you talking to yourself."

"I wish he could see you too." Wei Ying groaned, polishing his sword extra fast. "Hey Wuming, How can a few people see you and others don't? I'm always curious but I don't know why I never asked.." He asks, making his pace slower. "But don't answer if it's one of those secrets!" he added promptly. 

 Lan Wangji can't tell what is secret and what is not. What will go against the unknown contract and what will not. Still he tries to answer vaguely,"Because they are special." He murmurs. "Just like Wei Ying is special." 

Wei Ying scoffs not quite believing. "I'm I?" 

"You are." Lan Wangji replies, coling around Wei Ying. The fur on his back tickles his neck, making him giggle like a child.

"Stop!" Wei Ying yells. "What happened?" 

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji murmurs beside his ear. Shutting his eyes he again says, "I love you." It's not the same as declaring his love to the Wei Ying he once wanted. Lan Wangji knows the boy here is not the same boy who he lost. This Wei Ying is not who Lan Wangji cried for in the Jingshi. It was all but a mere childish hope. He couldn't tell Wei Ying how much he loved him, at least this Wei Ying should know the truth. How much he's loved. 

Wei Ying patted his back then the soft pad of his claws, "I love Wuming too." 

He loved Wuming, not Lan Wangji or Lan Zhan. Wei Ying may love him but it'll never be the same way he wanted to be loved. Regardless, Lan Wangji loved him all the same. His Wei Ying. From his life as Lan Wangji to his life as Wuming. All Wei Ying are his Wei Ying, and he loved them, and will love them for eternity. 

Then releculantly he asks, "Can you answer one question for me?" 

"Yeah,Shoot." 

"What would it mean if someone says they'd spend their whole life copying Lan precepts under.. the head disciples' supervision?" 

"Pppft- Wha-" Wei Ying falls in a fit of laughter. He laughed until tears formed in the corner of his eyes. "Sorry it's just ppft- Sorry!" he exclaims and laughs again. Lan Wangji stares at him flatly until his laughter winds down. "Done?" he asks in a monotone voice. 

"Yes, yes done." Wei Ying composes himself. Clear in his throat he asks,"Can I know who said this?" 

"No."

Wei Ying tsk 'ed his tongue as he rested  his chin on his fist, closed his eyes for better concentration.  "Whoever said it must have a very miserable life to say something so daring." 

Lan Wangji thinks back to life in burial mounds. Anything would sound luxurious compared to spending life there. Nothing can be as daring as living in a mass graveyard.  

"Can I get any other information about them?" Wei Ying asks.

Lan Wangji takes a deep breath before informing,"A guest disciple, deliberately breaks rules, can't stay quiet for a single breath, whines how much he hates copying Lan precepts, doesnt think Lan precepts are important." 

Wei Ying shook his leg, a hand below his chin, humming as he thought of an answer. "He's the Ouyang hier isn't he?" 

How did he come to this conclusion?

"No! just answer." 

"Let's say, he has a miserable life in the Ouyang sect and thus he thinks spending his whole life getting punished in the Lan  sect is more favorable to him." 

Lan Wangji considers the answers. For Wei Ying, copying the rules in the library may sound like his worst punishment, it was considerably better than living in a barren hill full of corpses. "But that is not the main objective." Lan Wangji shakes his head. "He had conditions." Conditions such as Lan Zhan has to be the one supervising him in the library. All the time. For the rest of his life. 

Wei Ying gags as if disgusted,"Why'd Ouyang hier want to spend his life with Yunshi-ge?" 

"Wei Ying. It's not about the Ouyang hier or Lan Yunshi. Just tell me what it may mean." 

Wei Ying tsk 'ed again. "It means he finds the head disciple favorable over anyone in the Lan sect." Wei Ying taps his chin again, snorting he says, "He must find the head disciple extremely pretty to spend his whole being supervised." 

"That's all?" 

"Maybe, I can't tell how Ouyang brains works." Before Lan Wangji can remind him that this isn't about any Ouyang Wei Ying gasped loudly "Unless he wants Lan Zhan to supervise him! Because that's so understandable. I mean, have you seen Lan Zhan? anyone would want to spend their life in the library to get Lan Zhan to look after them." 

Lan Wangji's heartbeat increased. Even though Wen Qionglin told him several times about Wei Ying's feelings, it's different to hear from Wei Ying himself. He knows there's no use knowing about his feelings now. This Wei Ying is not the same as the Wei Ying of his lifetime. 

Wei Ying has feelings for Lan Zhan, and he's not Lan Zhan anymore. But it comforts his heart knowing that, once he was desired by the person he longed for. 

"Would you want it then?" he asks, calming his heart down. 

"Why'd I want that?" Wei Ying huffs. "My life isn't miserable. And besides," Wei Ying waves nonchalantly, "I have Lan Zhan supervising me all the time." 

Lan Wangji hums, he feels a little too bold for asking, "Do you love him?" 

Wei Ying hastily stops polishing his sword and seaths it in the scabbard. He noticed pink color dusting his cheeks as he clears his throat again, "Of course I love him. He's my best friend." 

"You know what I mean." 

Wei Ying pulled him off his neck making him look eye to eye. "What do you want to say!" 

Lan Wangji blankly stares at him, not making anything clear. His blank look is enough for Wei Ying to understand. "I- I don't love him in- That way!" he shouted so loudly  that his voice cracked. "Don't spout nonsense. Lan Zhan and I are best friends and I want us to continue being best friends." He huffed through his nose, face still pink. 

"Then, do you love Wen Qing?" He asks just to tease, just because he can. 

"Wha- Wen- No! why!" Wei Ying spews."Why'd I love her of all people. She glares like she wants to kill me." Wei Ying groans. 

"Then who does Wei Ying love?" 

Wei Ying throws him on the pillow walking up to the privacy screen, crying how Lan Wangji knows nothing but to bully him. He laughs to himself at Wei Ying's shyness. Maybe he's a little too young to know who he's in love with. If he continues to be in denial, Lan Wangji knows how to push. 

 

After ignoring Lan Wangji for two hours, Wei Ying emerges from his bathtub. He prepares himself for dinner at the grand hall. He mumbles to himself hoping for a proper dinner or he'll start wrestling. Breakfast and lunch had been of Lan style. It'd be a clear provocation if they are given spicy meat tonight. 

"Wuming." Wei Ying calls, sounding uncertain. Lan Wangji hums in return. "I'll look for the Yin Iron in the cold cave."

"Will it be safe?" he asks. You're too young to worry about it. is what he wanted to say. 

"I hope so." comes his response. "Since the secret caused you to.. lose color, we shouldn't let this accident go in vain." 

"Why don't you talk about this with Lan Qiren first?" 

"And get myself stuck with the mind healers again? Shufu won't believe me until I prove myself right." He takes Lan Wangji on his shoulder, pinching him purposefully. Giving him a bright smile he says, "I'll be safe. I have you with me."

"I can hardly do anything for you." 

"You give me courage," says Wei Ying. "And in life, all a man needs is someone to encourage him." 

"Wei Ying is always courageous." 

"Not alwa-Ack!" 

It took Lan Wangji two blinks to understand that Someone-Wen Qing-had pinned Wei Ying against the door. She held three needles in between her knuckles near Wei Ying's neck, shy of poking in his pulse point. She's only a few inches taller, as she glares down. "What did you do to my brother?" she threatened. 

"Y-Your brother?" Wei Ying said  but it came out more like a wheeze. He blushes at his own voice crack.  

"Wen Ning! What did you do to my brother? Why does he trust you so much? Why does he call you Gege?" Lan Wangji had thought Wen Ning resolved the matter by themselves. It didn't occur to him that she'd give up so easily. 

"Hahaha, Wen Ning is your brother! That makes you my sister as well!" Wei Ying laughed nervously. His laughter didn't work on her. It only made Wen Qing glare and actually poke the needle on his skin. "Qi-Qing-Jie!" Shouted Wei Ying, getting out of her grasp. "Ah! Lan Zhan!" blindly Wei Ying hides behind Lan Zhan. 

Turned out Lan Zhan had seen Wei Ying being threatened by Wen Qing. He might have heard Wei Ying shouting and rushed out of his room, if his undone hair is anything to go by. Cowering behind him Wei Ying whines, "Save me Lan Zhan. Qing-Jie is being mean to me." Lan Zhan raises a hand hiding Wei Ying with his sleeves, as if he really was going to fight with a lady older by a few years. 

Wen Qing bowed her head to the second heir of Lan calmly. As if she wasn't poking needles on his best friend. She glanced at Wei Ying again,"I dislike how my brother calls you Xian-Gege." 

Hearing so, Lan Zhan put his hands down with a subtle nod. His way of agreeing. Though the nod was unnoticed by Wei Ying, he whined like he was in grave danger. "It's not like I forced Wen Ning to call me Xian-Gege. He asked and I said yes. Why are you getting so mad?" 

Wen Qing turned around to leave muttering, "Associating with you will attract Wen Xu's eye on us. Wen Xu means trouble." She lowers her volume, a tone of plea, "Don't be the reason for our trouble." 

 

Being left alone in the hallway Wei Ying breathed out and leaned over Lan Zhan. Resting his chin on Lan Zhan's shoulder he whined again, "I did nothing and she still threatened me." 

"Then listen to what she says." 

Wei Ying propped up raising his brows, "Someone's jealous I see." Lan Zhan gracefully doesn't respond. Ignoring Wei Ying's teasing, he went back to his room to fix his hair. "Ah, Lan Zhan, don't be jealous. Wen Ning will call you Gege as well."

 Lan Wangji couldn't control his snort when he saw his younger self's eyebrows twitch at Wei Ying. How could Wei Ying always tell what Lan Zhan was feeling but fail to understand if he's ever the reason. 

 

*

 

Dinner was favorable to the Lan disciples. Though seasoned with spice, there were no strong flavors of chili and meat. Wen Xu mostly stays quiet, ordering the servants from time to time. However, Wen Chao couldn't stop his filthy loud mouth. He's questioning why the most eligible women didn't participate in the competition, how Lan Xichen got enlisted as the top eligible bachelor as soon as he turned fourteen, how Lan Yunshi had been among the top ten eligible bachelors throughout the years when he's not even an heir. Yao sect heir told him the list is spineless, based on general audience cheers.

 As much as Lan Wangji dislikes the Yao sect heir he agrees with him. The list was baseless, formed fully upon public interest. Those who fail to catch the eye of the general public act like it means nothing to them,although they're jealous of those who could. Those who could, boast their beauty to the world as if it's the peak of succession. Due to unfortunate reasons Lan Wangji and his brother ranked the highest. He tried not to be bothered by the fact that people looked at them like a prize, some even worshiped and some whispered filthily against them. He never cared about the list, that is until he met Wei Ying. People were in fact correct about the ranking. Surely there has to be something wrong about it, if not then Wei Ying surely would have made it to rank number one. With his good looks and charming nature, his level of cultivation, Wei Ying had to be number one.

He briefly wonders what Wei Ying will rank this time. He hopes he will be in the top.

"I'm sure I'll rank number one next year! The brothel ladies always say I have the look of a Prince." Declares Wen Chao. 

Hearing him shamelessly boast about himself made the other disciples snicker. The Lan disciples along with Wei Ying choked on their food after hearing the word 'brothel' without any hesitation. 

"Who! Who laughed! Who snickered!" Wen Chao jumped out of his seat with rage. "You! I saw you smiling!" With oily chopsticks he pointed at the Luo sect heir, Mainmian's friend.

"No! I- That-" She sat right beside Wei Ying just one row further. Lan Wangji knew what trouble was coming as Wei Ying shifted on his seat. "Wei Ying, please don't." 

But Wei Ying did anyway. 

"I snickered." Wei Ying said standing up. "It was me, Wen er-gongzi. Forgive this one for finding your words funny." Taking all the blame to himself he made a show of apology. Long forgotten the rules, long forgotten his dinner.

Wen Chao's frown turned into amusement. He slowly walked to where the Lan disciples were seated, with a smirk on his face. "So it was you, Wei Wuxian." Wei Ying nodded with a confident smile, signaling the Luo sect heir to keep quiet. "So you think what I said was funny? You think I can't rank one?" 

Wei Ying shifted his balance on his feet, crossing his hands behind his back like the noble man he is. "Wen er-gongzi has it wrong. I never said he can't rank number one." 

"Then why did you laugh?" Wen Chao asked, matching Wei Ying's polite tone. A display of mocking.

"It's just that I think there's someone else who can easily rank number one, in case of looks." 

"Isn't that the same damn thing?" Wen Chao snarled. "You think someone else here is capable of beating my looks?" 

Wei Ying smiled, "I can't say for sure. We'll have to ask the audience." 

"Well then," Wen Chao snorted, taking a few steps back. "Tell us, Wei Wuxian. Who this boy is? Where he is now? Show me how so handsome he is that you have to speak against me?" 

Wei Ying smirked. Confidence gleamed in his eyes as he slowly closed them. He breathes in and says, "The boy I'm talking about is the most beautiful I've ever seen. There's no one that can be compared with him. The boy would be too tall if an inch were to be added to his height, and too short if an inch were to be taken away. A grain of powder would make him too pale, A touch of rouge would make him too red. His flesh is like snow atop the highest peak, skin as soft as fine silk.His eyes shine as golden as the full moon of autumn. His teeths are like little shells. A single one of his smiles would perturb the whole Jianghu and outshine the splendor of Jinlintai. His voice is as calm as the rivers of Yunmeng, as the whispering breeze of Qinghe. For years this boy has been pulling me to his world and I orbit around." He breathed out, closing his eyes, a smile full of satisfaction. 

Everyone in the hall had paused doing whatever they were only to look at Wei Ying and hear his depiction of poetry. Wen Chao stared at him dubiously, some disciples stopped eating, some disciples had mouths full of food having to forget to chew or swallow, some had their chopsticks hovering mid air. Servants forgot to serve, water or tea spilling from cups as Wei Ying spoke. To his surprise and disappointment no one, except for a few Lan Clan members, seem to catch up that Wei Ying had just recited lines from a poem. 

"Just say his name!" Jiang Wanyin growled and barked from his seat. Always a frown on his face. 

Wei Ying chuckled before saying, "Isn't it obvious. The most beautiful boy in the whole Jianghu is sitting right in front of me." He glances down to Lan Zhan as he declares his name, "Lan Zhan, Lan Wangji. Second Jade and heir of Gusu Lan." 

Cacophony of disciples befall upon the hall as Wei Ying threw a challenging smile at Wen Chao. The receiver of the smile flared in anger and frustration, lips shut tight as if sealed. He looked at his brother to say something in his stead only to receive an eyeroll. Having no backup he shouts, "If Lan Wangji doesn't rank number one next year, you'll kowtow to me." 

"That's gambling. And gambling is forbidden in our sect." rebutted Wei Ying. "And it's unfair how you didn't mention what you'll do if you don't rank number one, Wen er-gongzi." 

"That- I'll- didn't you say gambling is forbidden!" Wen Chao yelled. Telling some servants to take his dinner to his room he marched out of the hall. 

The rest of the dinner was spent peacefully, as peacefully it can be expected after what Wei Ying pulled off.

 

*

 

Wei Ying excused himself to seek out for Nie Mingjue. For reasons he doesn't want to tell Lan Wangji beforehand. He should be sleeping by now, it's over nine. Judging his unsteadiness  the matter sounded important. But then again, when is he not unsteady? 

"Sect leader Nie." Wei Ying gretted with a bow. The man in question looked like he had been drinking, and was on his way back to his room. He gives Wei Ying a curt nod of acknowledgement, continuing to walk his own way. "I want to learn about the Nie sect cultivation!" Wei Ying abruptly yelled.

"Wei Ying?" bewildered, Lan Wangji asked. Why'd he be suddenly so interested in Nie cultivation style? A style even the Nie clan was deciding to change. "Are you asking this for the Yin Iron?" Lan Wangji asked again. Wei Ying nodded, eyes fixated at Nie Mingjue. "Wei Ying that's- you don't have to deal with it. Just let your elders know and they'll take care of everything." Wei Ying ignores him. "Wei Yi-" 

"Kid," Nie Mingjue responded after a long pause. "What are you planning again?" 

"I just want your permission to know how one can cultivate beast resentful energy into their sabers." 

"And what if I don't give you permission?" Nie Mingjue raised a brow, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"I'll find another way to learn it." Wei Ying confidently replied. He is good friends with Nie Huaisang. Him and Wei Ying occasionally talk over their communication talisman. Despite Nie Huaisang never practicing the old style, he certainly can help Wei Ying with resources. Lan Wangji groans in frustration, knowing there's no way Wei Ying will listen to him now. 

"And get yourself killed? Even your lizard friend hates your decision." 

"I'll not die. I promise." 

"No one can make promises over death. You never know how you'll die." Says Nie Mingjue , in a less curt manner. "Our cultivation style is as harmful as demonic cultivation. I don't want to spread it, I don't want anyone to die. We don't allow this style anymore. Go back." He waves off Wei Ying. 

"Wei Ying let's go ba-" 

"What if it helps us during dire situations?. Nie Mingjue turns back at Wei Ying's declaration, giving him a blank look that deciphers as, "Such as?" 

Clenching his fists Wei Ying explains, "Lan Yi used unorthodox method to create the cord assainiation technique. Till now this has been the strongest technique Lan Clan uses to fight." 

"Just tell me what you want to say." 

"What I want to say is, even if your cultivation method was volatile it was stronger than any other clan. I know how it can harm your body, but... I want to know if there's a way to store energy without any backlash. There mus-"

"In other words you want to tinker with resentful energy." Nie Mingjue cuts in."You know I don't trust you with resentful energy. I don't give a damn if anyone believes me or not, I stand still on my words." 

Before Nie Mingjue could turn back and walk away again, Wei Ying blocked his path. "Wei Ying, Don't be so stubborn. Let's go." Lan Wangji begs. He's not going to watch Nie Mingjue insult Wei Ying any further. 

"I'm not the one who you saw in your dream prophecy." Wei Ying states. "I'm not the Jiang disciple you saw misusing resentful energy. I am a Lan disciple. And as a Lan, I promise you I will not do anything that's against our morals." Wei Ying claps his hands together, bowing deeply before Nie Mingjue. "Please trust me, give me a chance." 

Nie Mingjue groans, rubbing his face. He pinches the tip of his nose, mumbling how Wei Ying was driving him to Qi deviation. "If I say yes, will you go away?" 

Wei Ying straightens up immediately with a toothy smile. "Yes!" he beams.

Rolling his eyes behind the back of his skull Nie Mingjue says, "I'll allow but in one condition." 

"I agree!" 

"Listen to his condition first." Lan Wangji reminded.

"Yeah, Whatever your lizard says. I'll teach you if you can make A-Sang pass his exams in Cloud recesses. He'll be joining this summer." 

"I still agree." 

"He has to pass with high grades." 

"....Now you're just asking for the moon." Wei Ying scowls. 

Nie Mingjue snorts and nods. Both of them know Nie Huaisang getting high grades is a hard nut to crack. "Okay, Deal. Now go to sleep. Isn't it what, ten or something." 

"Quarter past eleven." Lan Wangji informs

"Okay! Deal. Thank you Mingjue-ge!" exclaiming so, Wei Ying runs off to his guest quarters, ignoring Nie Mingjue shouting how he isn't allowed to call him that.

 

When Lan Wangji asked what his ulterior motive was, he replied with  "I haven't thought that far. You said the Yin Iron is a metal full of resentful energy, right. Hence, I thought it may have a connection with the resentful sabers of Qinghe Nie. If I can understand how their sabers absorb and contain resentful energy, I can understand the same with Yin Iron." 

"And what will you gain from it?" 

"You said if the iron gets in the wrong hands there will be chaos. So,tell me, what is the best way to stop them from having it?" 

"To re-seal it." It's what their ancestors have been doing for years. What Lan Yi is doing in the cold cave, keeping it sealed with her own energy.

"No. To destroy it or deplete it's energy." Wei Ying answered confidently. 

"Wei Ying that's-" that's no different than heading towards a new downfall, just like his Wei Ying had. No, Wei Ying's death wasn't because of his cultivation. His lack of golden core killed him. Still, Lan Wangji can't let Wei Ying be a new target for his creations. If he discovers something like the stygian tiger amulet then, then people will hunt him down for it. 

"I know that sounds impossible. I know I'm not a Jiang disciple, but I like their motto. Attempt the impossible." 

"No Wei Ying, That's- You shouldn't- Just let your elders know about it and they'll deal with it." 

Wei Ying stopped walking. Standing still in the dark corridor he glared at him. The glare reminded Lan Wangji of the time he and Wei Ying fought and misunderstood each other.  "Are you going to say I'll get myself killed too?" he gritted out. "I don't understand you. You keep saying resentful energy will get me killed, Nie Mingjue says I'll get myself killed." He huffed. "What do you want me to do? hide in a corner Cloud recesses like a coward? pretend to be paralysed and watch my elders suffer?" 

It hurts every time Wei Ying gets angry at him like this. It hurts knowing he's bringing trouble to himself and Lan Wangji can do nothing. It hurts when Wei Ying thinks he doesn't trust him. All he wants is to protect Wei Ying from any harm. But what is he doing now? "Wei Ying, that's not what I meant." 

"Then what did you mean? You always stop me from trying to do anything with the barest minimum risk. Why don't you support me when I'm trying to do something new? So what if I die? I'll die trying to save the people I cared for. I'm sure your lover died because you never supported him." 

Lan Wangji stared at Wei Ying blankly. He stared at Wei Ying's face, red with anger. An out of place frown on his temple. He has grown up so much in a short time. He's grown up enough to understand why Lan Wangji is always afraid of resentful energy, why he always stops him from working with it. The ultimate truth, the cause of Wei Ying's death, was given by none other than Wei Ying himself. Had Lan Wangji been supportive to Wei Ying, had he helped Wei Ying, they could have a more peaceful life. 

"I apologize." mutters Lan Wangji. His voice sounds odd to his own ears. 

Wei Ying doesn't respond to his apology. He jerks his head in a way to follow him. Lan Wangji follows him silently, flying a few steps behind him, not sure if he's allowed to be near him yet. 

As Wei Ying opens the door to his guest room, a young woman, a Wen servant, greets him. Wei Ying usually greets anyone with a cheerful smile, not caring about class or age. However, Wei Ying acknowledged the women with a nod, anger still lingering on him. "I don't need anything. You can go." Wei Ying orders curtly, moving a little further from the door. Instead of taking her leave the maid steps close to him with a plastered smile. She's taller than Wei Ying as she hovers above him. "I'm sure Young master needs something." she speaks in a lascivious tone that makes Lan Wangji's skin crawl with discomfort. The tone he had heard near brothels, from prostitutes. "Wei Ying, she's not safe. Tell her to go." Lan Wangji warns. 

Wei Ying stares right back at her, lips sealed tight. "I don't need anything. You may leave." He tries to get in his room, closing the door but the maid follows him in. "I heard young master is famous with ladies. Is this how he steals hearts?" 

"Wei Ying make her leave." Lan Wangji greets out. He hates the way she looks at Wei Ying. He despises the tone, her languid movement. How dare she try to touch Wei Ying with her filthy hands. A mere servant like her shouldn't have the courage to even approach him. This has to be a scheme to sully his name. 

"What do you want?" Wei Ying asked. The woman smirked. She places her finger at the cross of Wei Ying's collar. "I want to make master's anger go away. I want to make you feel good." she brings her finger down to tug at his sash belt. "I'll make your stay in Qishan worthwhile." she whispers near his ear. Though Lan Wangji jumped at her hand to attack her, he failed to do so. He went past her like a ghost. "Wei Ying!" he exclaims helplessly. 

Wei Ying pulls her hand out of his belt's reach. Gripping her hand tightly he gritted through his teeth."What do you mean? How dare you think I want this." He tightens his grip on her wrist making her wail in pain.

"I didn't want to! I didn't!" she yelled "I was ordered. Wen Gongzi said he'll promote me if I do." 

"And you thought I'll let you! You thought you'll get away with this?" Wei Ying yelled. If Lan Wangji thought Wei Ying was angry before he was ten times more angrier now. It may be the first time Lan Wangji saw his little Wei Ying being angry for real. The veins in his eyes were so red that he fears blood will spill out of tear glands. For a moment he didn't see his little Wei Ying, he saw the Yilling Laozu. 

"If I, Wei Wuxian of Lan clan, complain of your name, who'll save you? Who do you think people will side with? The co-head disciple of Gusu Lan or a mere maid servant of Qishan Wen?" Wei Ying fumed with anger. 

"Wei Ying." comes Lan Zhan's voice from the door frame. He glares at the wailing maid and the hand Wei Ying is gripping. He walks up to them in his sleeping robes. Placing a hand over Wei Ying's wrist he stares at him. Under Lan Zhan's meaningful gaze Wei Ying let go of the maid. She falls to the floor clutching the place Wei Ying gripped on. It had made a deep crimson mark of his fingers. "Go away." Lan Zhan orders. Instead of obeying the order Lan Zhan gave, she kneels before them crying her out, begging, "Please don't file against me. Please spare me. I did not want to do this." 

"Go." Lan Zhan growled. She flinched and scrambled out of the room. 

Lan Wangji thanked the heavens for not making the maid lock the door. If Lan Zhan hadn't arrived, things wouldn't have ended so casually.  

 

Big drops of tears dripped out of Wei Ying's eyes. He stared at his feet, not making eye contact with either of them. 

"Wei Ying." Both Lan Wangji and his younger self called at the same time. Though both of them were ignored, Lan Zhan had the privilege to comfort him, placing one hand on his back and one on his shoulder. He eyed him worriedly as Wei Ying kept sniffing his nose, blinking back his tears. No matter how much he wiped his eyes, new drops of tears rolled down his face. 

"I used my authority to threaten the weak." Wei Ying whimpered. "I promised I would never use my authority." 

"Wei Ying you did it to save yourself. You're not wrong to do so." Lan Wangji reassures him. Wei Ying shakes his head not accepting what Lan Wangji just said. 

"I had other choices. I could politely tell her to go away. I could…" He sniffs and cries again. Lan Zhan wipes the tears for him. He makes him sit on the bed, bringing him a mug of water. When he was told to lie down and sleep he asked Lan Zhan if he could sleep in his room with him, as he felt uncomfortable in the room he was in.

 

Being tired and exhausted, Wei Ying fell asleep as quickly as he shut his eyes. He didn't utter a single word after Lan Zhan let him in his room. He made the effort to only get out of his outer robes and shoes, throwing his body on the bed, curling into a ball. His fists clenched even in his sleep.  Lan Wangji sighed and ran his hand through Wei Ying's hair. He wondered What Wei Ying did so wrong to experience this kind of harassment. What kind of grudge do Wen Xu and Wen Chao hold against him to send a woman to- he can't make himself think. 

He watches his younger self crawl over the bed, placing his pillow beside Wei Ying's. He watches the boy fondly gaze at Wei Ying's face. A look Lan Wangji never saw in himself but was always aware of, it's the look of admiration and love. He believes his younger self has realized what he feels for Wei Ying and what Wei Ying means to him.

He watches Lan Zhan gently crease Wei Ying's cheek with his thumb. He tucks strands of his hair behind his ear almost like a shy maiden.  The expression on his face, the closure of the two, the redness in Lan Zhan's ears alerts Lan Wangji. 

"Wuming," Lan Zhan whispers, barely audible. "Don't tell Wei Ying." He adds before leaning in and pressing his lips on Wei Ying's cheek.

He kissed Wei Ying without his awareness!  

 

The kiss itself was chaste and as innocent as his thirteen year self can think of. Unlike him it wasn't a deep mouth kiss involving biting and licking. Unlike him he didn't force the kiss on Wei Ying. 

He knows Lan Zhan can't see him, he still glares at him like a provoked mother hen. It'll be hypocritical if he blamed Lan Zhan for this.

Lan Wangji knows he can't have Wei Ying anymore, not the way he once wished for. He knows his desire for Wei Ying is not the same as it once used to be. Yet! Lan Wangji feels anger flare in his hurt. The mixture of emotion is well known to him, anger, possessive, protective.. it's not jealousy he's feeling.  It's the same feeling he felt when A-Yuan was showered with marriage proposals, crowded by suitors. It's a feeling of parental protection he's feeling for Wei Ying. 

He watches blood rush over his younger self's face, down to his neck. He's so embarrassed just by a peck, Lan Wangji wonders how he'll progress in the future. Lan Zhan raises his hand to cover his lips like he has to hide it from the world or everyone will know he kissed Wei Ying. Later he raises his palm near his forehead and smacks himself with as much force as he has.

He knocked himself out.

How miserable.

 

*

 

"I'm sorry I was so angry with you. I just- don't know why. I suddenly felt so angry…. I'm sorry, please forgive me." Wei Ying murmured.  His eyes were bleary, swollen. There are hints of dark circles under his eyes. Though Wei Ying said he had slept well, he looked like he needed more rest. He, however, admitted that he had a bad dream that had made him feel down. 

"Wei Ying has the right to be angry. I'm sorry as well." He made a vow not to stop Wei Ying from trying what he wanted to try. He's not the Wei Ying Lan Wangji saw dying. Who died was a stubborn human with no golden core, a man who was unfed and driven to insanity. The Wei Ying he remembers invented the ghastly method out of desperation when he had no other hope. His cultivation was completely new to the world, something he came up in months prior. The Wei Ying before his eyes is a young healthy boy, nourished and blessed with a strong golden core. He has enough time to study and reschears to accomplish what he wants. He's not doing anything out of desperation. His steps are measured, as well calculated as it can be. All Lan Wangji can do is to be aware that he doesn't mess up too badly or give away his golden core. "I will not stop you from trying what you want to do. But you must be careful." 

"Thankyou."Wei Ying smiled and patiently waited for Lan Zhan to bring his breakfast. The boy excused himself as soon as Wei Ying woke up. Poorly made excuse as a maid brings two trays of breakfast alongside a stuffy Lan Zhan. He dares not to look Wei Ying in the eye's or be too near him. He still manages to ask how Wei Ying was feeling, if he should check a physician. 

"What happened to your forehead?" he asks instead of replying. "Did I hit you in my sleep."

Lan Zhan averts his gaze, not answering. "You look weak. Will it be okay for you to join the competition in this state?" 

"Then you'll have to save this poor weak me." Wei Ying feings a smile. He had worked so hard for this day not to stay back. If he doesn't get to join the competition he'll forever regret previous night's action, blaming himself altogether.

 

*

 

Wei Ying keeps his acting throughout the opening ceremony. His act was unnoticed by most of his Shixiongs. The way he clung to Lan Zhan and Lan Zhan refusing to let him be alone was not something entirely new to them. Generally Wei Ying and Lan Zhan will challenge each other to get the most prey. Even if this competition will not count individual hunters but from each individual clan.Their usual enthusiasm was lacking. 

After an hour since competition began they have yet not attacked or caught a prey. 

"Did you hear a growl?" Wei Ying asked, suddenly halting in his steps. They have not caught sight of any yao or guai  for more than an hour. Even if it was a guai, it would not growl. Lan Zhan raised his sword trying to find the source of such noise. Wei Ying caught his hand as soon as he took a step forward. His face looked paler than it was, like he was terrified. "Lan Zhan, don't leave me."  he stutters before saying "it's a dog." 

"Dogs shouldn't be here." Answers Lan Zhan. This hunting ground was prepared for hunting only yao and guai. Other living beings or beasts are replaced beforehand. Unless, someone did… Those damned Wens. 

"Wei Ying, find your teammates. Be near them." Lan Wangji advised. Nodding Wei Ying pulls Lan Zhan along with him. Pulling out his communication talisman he asks Lan Yunshi  where he was. They run towards their destination until a dog beast howls loudly from afar. Hearing the growl, Wei Ying trips on the ground. He starts trembling with fear. "Wei Ying it's not near, hide." Lan Wangji rubs his back to calm him down. Lan Zhan covers Wei Ying's ears with his hands, looking out for the beast. 

"Le- let's run before it comes." Wei Ying says regaining his composure. He's still pale, his hands are trembling in Lan Zhan's hand, there are unshed tears in his eyes. They start running towards the entrance of the mountain where they meet Jiang Wanyin and Jiang disciples, also running away from the beast. "Do you have a perfume pouch?" Asked Jiang Wanyin. When Wei Ying looked at him to ask for reasons he replies, "To cover our smell. We attacked it, it'll follow our scent." 

Lan Wangji cursed internally. Did they really have to meet someone who just attacked the beast they were trying to hide from? Wei Ying pulls out his lotus flower perfume pouch and Lan Zhan gives them his. Jiang Wanyin smells the bags mumbling "not strong enough". He scatters the dried flowers and herbs among his peers and rubs some on his face. 

"Why did you attack it?" Wei Ying asked

"What else am I supposed to do in a hunting ground?" barks Jiang Wanyin.

"A dog beast is not part of the hunt." informs Lan Zhan. 

"I know, that's why we're running away, genius." 

They meet a few other clan's disciples along with Lan clan disciples at the entrance steep. Lan Xichen and Lan Yunshi had other Lan disciples gathered around. Nie Huaisang waves at them behind Nie Zonghui. They rejoice in their safety as Wei Ying slumps at the ground. 

"We are safer here." Lan Zhan mumbles while sitting beside Wei Ying. "How are you feeling?" 

Wei Ying rubs his eyes, laughing a bitter laugh. He rests his head on Lan Zhan's shoulder. "I'm exhausted, Lan Zhan. I want to go back to Gusu." 

"Will go as soon as we're out." 

They can't get out of the hunting ground until the hunting period comes to an end. The spiritual gates will only open from the outside. 

Few Wen disciples along with Wen Qionglin and his sister come to view. The older disciples interrogate Wen Qing of the problem that occurred and Wen Ning quietly kneels beside Wei Ying. He looks guilty, "I'm sorry you have to face this." He says with a regretful tone.  "Don't be sorry Wen Ning. It's not your fault." Wei Ying replies by patting Wen Qionglin's shoulder. 

"If only I knew…" Wen Qionglin sighs. 

"Shit-" Jiang Wanyin curses beside them. 

Before Lan Wangji could process what happened he hears disciples crying, shouting. Nie Huaisang toppled over them, Wen Qionglin shielding Wei Ying's view, Lan Zhan covering his ears while shielding Wei Ying with his body. He hears howls of dogs, growls of the beast and whimper of puppies. As he raised above he saw disciples attacking the three headed dog beast.  If Wei Ying faces this he'll surely lose his consciousness for three days. 

There was nothing Lan Wangji could do to defeat the beast. He goes back to Wei Ying cooling around his head, covering his eyes like a blind fold. 

For after an hour the commotion dies down with sect leaders walking in the field. The beast was chained and taken away by the Wens. Lan Wangji uncoils himself from Wei Ying's head just as Lan Zhan uncovers his ears. "Are you okay?" Both him and his younger self ask at the same time. Wei Ying hazily stares at the sky, eyes red at the corner. He shakes his head at first then nods quickly. Wen Qionglin checks his pulse on his wrist then on his neck. "Your pulse rate increased abnormally."  He mumbles. "Allow me to let out your blood." He pulls out two needles from his wrist guard. Wei Ying opens his mouth to speak but stops. He swallows two times before shaking his head. 

"Do you want water Wei-Xiong?" Nie Huaisang offers his water bag. All this time he was clutching Wei Ying like a drowning man clutching for a straw. His hair ornaments are all over his head, misplaced. Wei Ying smiles and takes the bag, drinking half of the bag. He looks at his surroundings with displeasure. While fighting the beast, the disciples were wounded quite badly. Even Jiang Wanyin had a big cut on his arm, currently being treated by Wen Qing. The few Wen physicians were busy treating the wounded. No one minded the corner they were huddled in. Wen Rouhan walked past them saying,"I thought the second Lan and Wei Wuxian were exceptional fighters." He smiles at them before waving off.  "But they were curled up in a corner. People always sugarcoat." He walks out of the ground as if it wasn't his land disciples were attacked.

"Wei Ying, don't blame yourself." Lan Wangji says. He's most likely blaming himself for making Lan Zhan look weak in front of so many people. 

"It's good that he thinks we're weak." Lan Zhan says. "He'll not pay attention to the weak." 

"But Lan Zhan it's one thing if it's me, but you-" 

"It's the same for me. I am what Wei Ying is. We are equal, remember?"  

When did they have this conversation? Lan Wangji wonders. Maybe the time when Lan Wangji went to talk with Wen Qionglin. 

"Ah, Lan-er-Gongzi," Nie Huaisang dramatically sighed. "You speak so little, but when you do it becomes poetry." Wen Qionglin nods beside him. Both Lan Zhan and Wei Ying blushed red, scrambling off their feet. 

Wen Qing stands next to her brother throwing a crumpled paper at Wei Ying. Without saying anything she tugs her brother away from them. Inside the crumpled paper was two black elixirs, with a note saying, 

              Take one, they'll make you feel better. Take this as an apology from me on behalf of my petty clan.

Wei Ying smiles and takes one elixir only to fall to his knees, choking for water. 

"It's so bitter!" he yells.

"Don't scare us like that." 

"It's bitter, what am I supposed to do?" 

 

As Lan Zhan promised, he asks for permission to go back to Gusu without his clan. With his fathers permission he takes Wei Ying along with him, flying away from the nightmare city. 

 

News arrives to them about the hunting competition. Nie caln placed first. Wen clan and Jin clan and Jiang clan placed respectively second and third and fourth. The Lan clan ranked fifth among them.

In Lan Wangji's life it was the Lan clan who ranked first. However, in his life there was no chaos during the hunt nor did disciples get to  play a role. Regardless, it has nothing to do with him. 

He worries about Wei Ying's health and  his impulsive decisions. Lan Wangji can't stop him from what he wants to do. How will he fulfill his wish? 

Notes:

and with this, ends the Qishan Wen arc. it's 7k too long beacuse I hate cliff hangers. So a lot happens here and writing skills go brrrr

 

The poem Wei Ying took lines from is Here

 

Lan Zhan: *considering the poem context* Wei Ying thinks I'm good looking but he'll never betray his wife (˘╭╮˘)
Other's: this is a love declaration!
The exilirs Wen Qing gave are handmade anti depressants. Because she is a genius like that.

there will be bg ChenQing

Chapter 26: Rules: broken

Notes:

idk what the appropriate age for drinking is in mdsz world, so Warning: underage drinking.
There is always mention of character deaths but I never tagged it. But there is also OC child death so,, be warned.

Wei Ying was sent to bed rest immediately after setting his foot in Cloud recesses. Lan Qingheng had informed Lan Qiren about their possible early arrival and most likely everything that happened in Qishan. That would explain why Shufu was angrily brewing medicine in Wei Ying's room. He kept mumbling something under his breath and all Lan Wangji could decipher was the Wen surname and Lan surname. 

"You went to the mind healers regularly, mediated through our healing music, so then why are you still afraid of dogs?" Lan Qiren asked, filling a cup with green medicine. 

"I'm not that afraid of dogs anymore." Wei Ying whined from his bed. He didn't want to be in bed rest. If not for Lan Qiren threatening him to put a body binding spell on him he'd have been running around in the training grounds. "And regular dogs aren't the same as dog beasts. They are big and loud and they have vengeance in their howls. Anyone would be scared." 

Lan Qiren handed him the cup of medicine, the purge smell was enough to make Wei Ying close to throw up. "I don't need medical care." he threw the elixir wrapper with paper at Lan Qiren who caught it easily, years of practice.  "I had one at Qishan, a Wen physician gave it to me. I'm all good." 

"How can you trust the Wen physician?" He forced the cup into Wei Ying's hands. 

"I trust her out of all the Wens I've met. She's like a friend to me. And her brother too, he calls me Xian-Gege." 

Lan Qiren raises an eyebrow, "She's young?" 

Wei Ying nods. 

"About your age? You trust her?" 

Wei Ying nods again. 

"And she gave you medicine when you needed it?" 

Wei Ying again nods and sips the medicine he was given. 

After a thoughtful hum Lan Qiren says,"Could you two perhaps have romantic feelings for each other?" 

Wei Ying spills out the medicine he hardly sipped. Lan Wangji snorted at the preposterous expression Wei Ying gave to Shufu. It was one thing to have Shufu take care of him but to have Shufu talk about women's romantic attraction towards him was another world experience. It is not like Lan Wangji never heard Shufu say such things. Lan Qiren talked about all the beautiful women that wanted to marry Lan Wangji. Although it was wholly a different context, such as getting Lan Wangji out of his mourning disposition.  

"She threatened to kill me if I harm her brother." Wei Ying yelled, offended and embarrassed. "Aiyaa, I don't don't understand what made you think that. We are friends, that's all." 

"Friendship between a girl and boy?" Lan Qiren scoffed, getting back to brew a new batch of medicine. "That will not last long. One will certainly grow romantic to the other." 

"That's the old generation's thoughts, Shufu. We are kids of the new generation, we will keep our relationship as friends." 

Rolling his eyes, Lan Qiren huffs."I'll see to that." 

Wei Ying crawls down the bed after rolling his eyes. Stopping Lan Qiren from brewing more medicine he says, "Since I'm sick, will Shufu tell me anything I ask?" he looks at him with his big doey eyes, full of mischief. 

Lan Qiren groans before asking him what he wanted to ask. 

"I want to know about the Yin Iron." 

"Wei Ying should rest first. Don't think about it now." Lan Wangji had no idea Wei Ying was still thinking about the problem with Yin Iron. Did he make the wrong choice to entrust Wei Ying with it? He isn't worried that Wei Ying will cause any trouble but who can say Wei Ying will not harm himself in the process. Lan Wangji's concern got ignored as Wei Ying continued, "Can you tell me about it?" 

Lan Qiren scepticallly stares at Wei Ying for his sudden interest in Yin Iron. "Where did you learn of it?" 

Wei Ying scoots closer to Lan Qiren and speaks in a low volume as if spilling secrets , "Wen Xu wanted me to make a detecting talisman to find the Yin Iron. I said I could teach him to make one himself. Then he  couldn't and lost his patience." 

"You mean Wen Xu is looking for the Yin Iron?" 

"I think Wen Ruohan told him to find it, but yeah." 

Lan Qiren exhales loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. He tells him about the history of Yin Iron, how it was formed, by whom it was controlled, how anyone who wanted to control it died after causing anarchy in the world and how five major sects joined hands to seal it in five pieces. "Wen Ruohan is breaking the promise our ancestors made." He collects his medicinal pouch, walking out of Wei Ying's room. "They can't find it. No one knows where those pieces are. You should forget about this too." 

 

Wei Ying slumps back to his bed with a displeased frown. When Lan Wangji asked why he looked so displeased he answered, "No one knows where those pieces are. But I know where one of those pieces can be found. And from what Shufu is saying, the other four pieces are hidden somewhere in each major clan." 

Not in each major clan but they are close. Lan Wangji doesn't say it out loud. He can't risk disappearing, he doesn't want to leave Wei Ying, not yet. If Wei Ying finds the piece in Cloud recesses it'll lead him to the others. 

 

The medicine Wei Ying took lulled him to sleep. The crease in his brows slowly disappears, his downturn lips returning to smiling. Lan Wangji quietly watches the boy, and how he smiles even in sleep. The cheerful color of his cheeks returned as if Cloud recesses painted him uniquely to peacefully smile.

 

His peaceful smiles could only be seen when he's asleep. And he should be asleep when it's far past ten. "But I slept this whole afternoon, sleep won't come." Wei Ying whined. He sat down at his study table, encrypted the books he copied in Qishan, took out his mirror to re-encrypt. Lan Wangji watches him with content, the way his eyes widens when he learns something new, the way his brows crease when he doesn't understand something, the way he sticks out his tongue when he draws figures. He lets him copy until the single candle melts down to the bottom. 

Alongside his training and studies, his copying continues for several weeks. Despite copying regularly he could barely write out three books. 

He looks for books regarding the Yin Iron in the Lan clan library. Lan Wangji tells him he'll not find one not because there aren't any but because they are hidden. Hidden in the forbidden library where no one other than clan leaders and heirs are allowed. Lan Wangji didn't have to say it to him, Wei Ying understood without a hint. As a disciple Wei Ying isn't allowed to know about the forbidden library's existence. But a simple slip of tongue from Shufu and Wei Ying's consistent begging, he learned about it. Although Wei Ying swore to Lan Qiren that he'll never tell a single soul about it nor will he ever think about getting in there, he's  pretty much fighting himself now. "I don't break my promises, I don't break my promises, I don't break my promises." he continuously chanted before leaving the library. 

"You don't need to know about Yin Iron. Your elders will take care of it, Wei Ying." Just hiding the Yin Iron should be enough. And if the Wens tries to attack Lan Wangji will warn Wei Ying of it. It'll risk him to disappear, he knows. He's willing to take the risk, for the home he grew up in, for the people who died during the ambush. 

It occurred to him later that one of the victims who died back then was Lan Zirui's son. That was why he couldn't remember Lan Yawen's name. That was also why later after the war Lan Wangji never saw Lan Zirui leave his house. If he hadn't lost his son to the Wens, maybe he could have been a kind teacher to A-Yuan. 

Wei Ying adores Lan Yawen deeply to have him die a premature death. Wei Ying also cherishes Cloud recesses to watch it burn. He cares about the people who live here, in return they care for him. Lan Wangji can't let Wei Ying feel what he felt watching his beloved home burn to ashes. 

He hopes the decisions he is making , results into something good.

 

-

 

It's the special week of the month, gentian house visiting day. After weeks of hard training Wei Ying and the Lan brothers visit the house to pass the few hours quietly. 

 

Wei Ying groans after losing the third match of Weiqi to Lan Xichen. He slumps on the floor to roll around and complain how close to winning he was this time. Lan Xichen chuckled and challenged him for another round. The whining boy whined more punching the floor out of frustration, making an unnecessary drama. He abruptly stopped whining and punching altogether. With a confused frown in brow he punched the floor broad again, this time with more cautiousness. 

"Is something wrong?" Lan Xichen asked at the sudden change of act. 

"The floor board here makes a different sound." Wei Ying pointed. 

Lan Zhan took a step closer knocking the floorboards. The one Wei Ying pointed out made a hollowed sound. Almost like there is a secret compartment under it. 

He hopes it's not wine. 

How will there be wine? Who will hide wine in his mother's house. Unless mother secretly had a stash of wine for herself. It's unlikely she did. 

To Lan Wangji's remorse, there was wine. Not just any wine, it's Emperor's smile. 

Who dared to hide four jars of Emperor's smile in his mother's house? Lan Wangji fumed in his mind. Someone thought, no one would find out their treasure if they hid it in there. 

Well, Wei Ying did. Because it's Wei Ying. And his fate is bounded with it, no matter how many times he recites "Alcohol is forbidden in Cloud recesses."  Alcohol will walk up to him.

Wei Ying on the other hand stares at the white jars like he was handed the moon on a golden platter. 

"Alcohol is forbidden in Cloud recesses." Lan Zhan recited as soon as he understood what he was looking at. 

"So what is it doing here then?" Wei Ying countered, taking a jar in his hands. He examined the weight to find it full. "I've always wanted to take a sip of Emperor's smile." mused Wei Ying. He untied the cover, smelling the fragrance of wine for the first time in his life. "I hear many people sing praises of Gusu's Emperor's smile. To have the legendary wine hidden in the gentian house, only for me to find out, It must be fate." He sings-song like a maiden in love. 

Yeah, sure. It's all fate. 

There's no stopping him now.  

However, The two Lan brothers looked unsure. Shufu had taught them not to drink wine, they never thought about ever tasting a drop of wine. Never did they think anyone would hide not one but four jars of wine in the premises of Cloud recesses, inside their mothers house. 

"Not right. Must complain." says Lan Zhan. He looked angry. How could one dare to hide wine in his mother's cottage? 

"Aiya, Lan Zhan." cried Wei Ying. "Don't complain. At least not today. Let's drink, keeping it a secret. No one will know." 

"Will it be okay to drink?" Asked Lan Xichen. "What if it's poisoned?" 

As expected from his brother, the future sect leader.  He feels proud of his brother's progress. Not how Wei Ying is growing up to be. No sooner did Lan Xichen show his doubts, Wei Ying had gulped a mouthful of wine. The two Lan brothers panicked at his sudden turn of course, and the way Wei Ying clutched his heart. He whimpered and for a moment Lan Wangji really thought Wei Ying was in pain. All worried only for Wei Ying to exclaim, "It's the best drink I've ever had!"  

Stars sparkled in his eyes, tears glossed at the corner. If words weren't enough to convince the other two, his face was. 

"How does it taste?" Lan Xichen showed his interest. His eyes also sparkled with curiosity. 

After a thoughtful hum Wei Ying muttered, "Sweet? But it has a strong stance of… Spice? Pungency? I don't know how to explain its taste. It's sweet at first but hits the back of your throat later. You will not understand if you don't try yourself." He pushed forward the jar, spilling a little wine on the floor. 

"Wei Ying, They shouldn't drink." Lan Wangji whispers to him. Lan Wangji doesn't remember watching his brother drunk. But he remembers the ruin they had caused together in Cloud recesses. For all Lan Wangji has the first hand experience of acting out of mind, acting according to heart. The first time he got drunk was with Wei Ying. Or rather being tricked by Wei Ying. He doesn't remember anything but being manhandled by Wei Ying. He remembers talking about each other's parents, although he never got to know how the conversation ended up on such a sensitive topic. The next thing he remembers was being jostled awakened in Wei Ying's guest chamber by one of the Lan disciples. Later the three hundred hits of disciplinary plank. He promised never to drink again or let himself get tricked into drinking. 

He broke his promise four years after Wei Ying's death. He doesn't know how or what he did during that time, however he woke up in the infirmary with the Qishan Wen brand scarring over his heart. The same scar Wei Ying proudly bore on his body. Next time, his brother accompanied him when he was hesitating to get drunk once again. Later that morning they found out the wall of rules being re-written, library being re-arranged, kitchen being cleaned and their Uncle on the verge of Qi deviation. After that he only drank in the solitude of Jingshi, with doors closed so that he doesn't embarrass his son with his pitiful sobbing.

He is sure the Lan Zhan in front of him will not be as pitiful as him. But the fear of watching them getting punished doesn't make him feel any better. 

 

Lan Xichen shows interest to try out the wine Wei Ying was praising of. Lan Zhan also had a curious glow on his eyes. "Just a sip." He says to the older boys before getting the tea cups. 

"Wei Ying, you'll be punished badly if you are found out." He warns again, desperation eating him.

"No one will punish us if they don't know. How will they know if we keep it a secret?" 

You can't keep everything a secret.

His warnings getting ignored, Lan brothers take their first sip of wine. Wei Ying's eyes never left them as they examined the taste of the wine in their mouth. As soon as they gulped down the wine Wei Ying bombarded them with questions like, "How is it?" "wasn't I right?" "It's the best, right?" "Isn't it sweet?" "doesn't the hit feel otherworldly?"

All his queries were left unanswered as the two boys' heads lulled before falling asleep as they sat. Just as Lan Wangji feared, they have no alcohol tolerance at all. 

"Eh? Xiongzhang? Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying waved his hand before their face. "You're asleep?" He lightly shakes them but to no avail. The two brothers were in deep sleep and will soon wake up to destroy Cloud recesses once again. 

Lan Wangji doesn't warn Wei Ying anymore. He can have a little punishment for not listening to him. And a big punishment later as his secret gets out for not listening to him as well. 

As anticipated, Lan Wangji watches Lan Xichen wake up with an unpredictable calmness  on his face. He smiled as if he was not drunk at all. He giggled a little before loudly lamenting, " Aiyaa! Did I fall asleep?" His loud voice was enough for Wei Ying to understand something was not right. "A-Xian, why didn't you wake me up?" Wei Ying nervously laughed saying he was about to. Sleathly he checked Lan Xichen's pulse to be sure if his Qi was flowing normally. "Why is A-Zhan still sleeping? Didi! Wake up! wake up!" Lan Xichen cheered, slapping his younger brother's back. "Today is too beautiful to sleep. We must enjoy the clear sky with spring clouds above our heads." 

Quietly Lan Zhan woke up, his face unreadable. Just like his brother it was not possible to say if he really was drunk. 

"Lan Zhan, are you okay? how do you feel?" Wei Ying asked, checking his pulse as well.  

Lan Zhan's eyes followed Wei Ying's hand, to his wrist where Wei Ying pressed two of his fingers. He slapped away Wei Ying's hand only to lock their hands together. "Wei Ying." He said with a deep ebb of his tone. He gazed at Wei Ying so intensely that Lan Wangji feared the boy was going to kiss Wei Ying. 

"I gaze at the cloudless sky

My lips form the shape of your name.

Spring has passed,

My lover has yet not answered my plea."

Their attention diverted to Lan Xichen who out of nowhere recited a poem. Lan Xichen sighed in melancholy, "On a day like this, one should recite poetry and listen to music." He shuffled in his sleeves then loudly exclaimed, "Alas! Where have I lost my xiao?" 

"Uhhh.. It's tucked in your sash belt." Wei Ying informed. His hand, still intertwined with Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan who once glances at Wei Ying's face then glances at their joined hand.

"Ah! How silly of me!" Lan Xichen laughs. He blows a few notes on his xiao as a test. When satisfied, he runs out to the court yard to play the song of spring's arrival. 

"Is he drunk?" Wei Ying asks. 

Lan Wangji is rarely sarcastic. He tries not to make a sarcastic remark on how late Wei Ying is to understand the situation. 

"Yes." Lan Wangji replies instead, as a matter of fact.

"Xiongzhang, come inside. You're gonna blow up our little secret." He tries to walk out to get Lan Xichen in before he can get any louder. However as he takes his steps Lan Zhan snakes his arms around Wei Ying's waist, determined to never let him go. "Lan Zhan let me go." Wei Ying demands. 

"Don't go." Lan Zhan demanded back. He tightens his lock, nuzzling his face on Wei Ying's waist. By this point Lan Wangji knows where Wei Ying is ticklish. And unfortunately for Wei Ying, he is most ticklish on his waist. The way Lan Zhan nuzzled made Wei Ying yelp in surprise. As he furiously blushed he struggled to get Lan Zhan's face out of his waist's proximity.  

"Wei Ying." Lan Zhan whined.

He whined. 

Lan Wangji never thought there would ever be a time where he would hear himself whine. Up until now he was fighting against his second hand embarrassment. But listening to himself whining was his limit. He can't face the embarrassment any further. 

Wei Ying too seemed to be embarrassed at his whining. He shut his eyes and glanced up at the heavens with a bright flush on his face. "Wuming, why didn't you warn me?"

"I did." 

Wei Ying whines as well. Tuning with their untied whining, Lan Xichen plays his Xiao. It's utter chaos and Lan Wangji believes Wei Ying brought it upon himself. 

Cue to chaos, Lan Xichen jumps over the walls to the roof of the gentian house. Out of their sight. They can hear him laughing in absolute bliss. "Today is really a beautiful day." He hears Lan Xichen shout. At the same time Wei Ying somehow managed to drag himself out of the doors with Lan Zhan still wrapped with him. 

"Come down." Wei Ying loudly whispered. 

"Louder A-Xian! I can't hear you." 

"Get back down here." 

Lan Xichen laughs again. "A-Zhan! this is for you." He faces the south and loudly yells, "Mingjue-Ge! this is for you too!" and resorts to playing another melody. The song, Lan Wangji recognised, was a local song named Maiden's first love. That was why he dedicated it to his younger brother, but why Nie Mingjue? 

He couldn't think much over it as he heard Lan Zhan demanding, "Call me Gege." 

As perplexed as Wei Ying was by his demand he played along."All right, if you let me go, I'll call you Gege." 

Lan Zhan looked satisfied with the deal and let go of Wei Ying's waist. He calmly sat, and waited to be called 'Gege' by Wei Ying. 

"Gege. Ok done." Wei Ying promptly said and jumped to the roof to get Lan Xichen back. Lan Wangji saw his younger self's  face morph into dissatisfaction. Whatever he had expected he didn't get. Quick to his steps, he followed Wei Ying to the roof. Wei Ying, who was busy coaxing Lan Xichen to stop playing his flute, was interrupted by Lan Zhan's anger. 

Lan Wangji wondered why no one had yet not noticed three white figures at the roof. Gentian house was located in an isolated corner, but that didn't mean Wei Ying and Lan Xichen's loudness was not something to go unnoticed. 

"Lan Zhan go back." Wei Ying tried to push Lan Zhan away. Stubborn as he is, Lan Zhan doesn't move a muscle. He stands still in his place, holding Wei Ying's forearm. As Wei Ying tried to shove his arm toward Lan Zhan, the boy bit his arm with all his might. For unfortunate reasons, Lan Wangji wasn't surprised. He half expected Lan Zhan to tackle him down the roof. 

And Wei Ying being bitten cried out as loud as he could. "Lan Zhan stop! You're a beast! you're a beast!" shouted Wei Ying the same way Lan Wangji once heard him shout when he bit Wei Ying out of frustration. That, he still feels sorry about. But this, he finds amusing. 

The sudden loud cries from Wei Ying and Laughter from Lan Xichen caught the attention of many. Disciples, senior and juniors, elders, everyone surrounded the Gentian house walls with many different expressions.  Some were horrified, some were angry, some were just here for the show, to enjoy. Not long after Qingheng-Jun and Lan Qiren came running in the compound. Both shocked and horrified to see the three of them misbehaving. 

"Wei Wuxian! What did you do?" Lan Qiren demanded, shouting louder than he should. 

Instead of answering the question, Wei Ying responded with "Lan Zhan is biting me!" tears still running over his face. 

"Wangji! Xichen!" Lan Qiren again shouted. "Come down this instant." 

"Fuqin and Shufu are here!" Lan Xichen said in amusement. "And so is everyone. Allow me to play for you." Saying so he starts playing a bawdy happy music in his xiao like his little brother is sulking beside him after biting Wei Ying like an animal. They only come down when Lan Qingheng breaks his decorum and jumps on the roof to bring his sons down, forcefully by their collar. Wei Ying followed him, releculantly, afraid to meet Lan Qiren's glare. 

"Did you buy that?" Lan Qiren pointed to the open doors, where the white jar of Emperor's smile glistened at the center of the room. 

"Aiyaa Shufu," Lan Xichen chirped, still struggling to get out of his father's firm hold. "You shouldn't frown like that. You have wrinkles in your face." 

If it was said by Wei Ying no one wouldn't  spare a glance. Shufu wouldn't twitch like he did or the remaining audience wouldn't have gaped as though the first hier slured. Lan Qiren grunts before using the silencing spell on his first nephew. "Did you?" he again asked Wei Ying. 

Wei Ying bravely meets Lan Qiren's eye's before placing three fingers over his temple as an oath, "I swear I did not." 

"Then did the wine walk in here by itself?"

"Maybe?"

"Wei Wuxian!" Lan Qiren yelled at Wei Ying's vague answer. Just then, Lan Zhan stood in front of Wei Ying as a wall between his Uncle. His face was determined despite being tipsy on his feet. Lan Qiren shot a glare at his elder brother for losing his hold from his son.  

"Actually," Lan Qingheng muttered almost inaudibly. He looked down to feet, raising his hand in the air. As if embarrassed, he says, "It was me. I kept the jars there." Shamefully meeting his brother's horrified eyes he bows as an apology. "I did not think the kids would find them." 

Lan Wangji isn't sure if he finds it amusing or if he wants to dip in the cold spring. He thought some unruly servant or disciple had hid the wine there. To think the unruly one was the sect leader himself. The man Lan Wangji never got to know in his life, one he at times resented for imprisoning his mother, the one who couldn't break a few rules to let his wife live freely, was hiding alcohol in her prison house. He found it too ridiculous to be true. This can not be the same man who Lan Wangji saw dying. Surely the mere presence of Wei Ying will not mold a person to new. 

He doesn't let himself think over subjects that hurt his head.

Lan Wangji diverts his attention back to Lan Qiren, who had diverted his anger from Wei Ying to his elder brother. To say he'll get furious was acceptable. But Lan Wangji didn't think his Uncle would be furious to the point where he starts raising his hands on his own elder brother. Forgetting all his restraint and conduct Lan Qiren smacked his brothers back shouting "You disgraceful brother!" "Have you no shame?" "How could you buy alcohol again?" "Do you not remember what happened the last time you got drunk?" 

It implies that Lan Qingheng had, apparently gotten drunk before, had done something in his drunken state that Lan Wangji isn't aware of. And at this point he doesn't even want to know. 

That day Gusu Lan members saw the main family members causing chaos in their own lands. The sect leader getting beaten by the grand master. The first heir laughing hysterically and the second heir sulking near Wei Ying like a kicked puppy. It went on until Lan Yan had to step in and stop the grown up adults from fighting like children. 

 

Cloud recesses was suddenly too quiet after Lan Qiren calmed down and the Lan heirs fell asleep. They'll wake up with a hangover headache and soreness they've never felt before. Knowing so, Lan Qingheng had sent them to the infirmary. For if they wake up, the physicians can take care of them. He accepted his punishment with head bowed low. 

"Do you understand the consciousness of your actions?" Lan Qiren scoffed at both Wei Ying and his elder brother kneeling before him.

While Lan Qingheng lowered his head in shame, Wei Ying sighed saying, "I wouldn't have asked them to drink if I knew this would be how they become." 

"We Lans have low alcohol tolerance Wuxian. That is why we forbid alcohol." Lan Qingheng murmured, tilting his head. 

Lan Qiren recited each rule that they've broken in the span of an hour. Punishment was inevitable and nothing new to Wei Ying. What made him topple was when Lan Qiren declared that Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen will be punished disregarding their drunken state. 

"But Shufu," Wei Ying scrambled to Lan Qiren holding his legs, "at least don't punish them with planks. It was my fault for making them drink. Give me ten more hits of plank but don't punish them with fifty hits." 

"They had the right mind to refuse, not to drink. They decided to break the rules, they'll have to be punished for their actions." 

Lan Wangji saw Wei Ying's lips wobble, tears forming in his eyes. It didn't matter to him that he was going to be hit with a monstrous plank sixty times. His concerns lied to the people who were roped into the trouble because of him. He tried to take all the blame to himself only so that Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen could be spared. 

No different than the one Lan Wangji saw in his life.However, in his life he and Wei Ying were hit three hundred times for the same punishment, while others got fifty. Lan Wangji wonders if that brusque punishment had been his uncle's growing grudge against Wei Ying's family, for tricking his best disciple. The punishment  was unfair, he later understood. But back then he was terrified at the aftermath of hangover, afraid to think anything other than what he did during his drunken state, how much he deserved to be punished. 

"I…" Wei Ying prostrated near Lan Qiren's feet, "I wish to be punished first. I accept my punishment of sixty planks. In addition to that," he raises his head, clasping his hands "I wish to be sent to the cold cave to repent over my actions." 

Lan Qiren huffed in amusement, "Very well. Request granted." He rubbed his goatee with a pleased smile, "It's good that you understand what you did wrong." 

And that was how Wei Ying was sent to the cold cave without anyone questioning him. He really wonders how Wei Ying conspires these plans in his head. He thought about sneaking in the cave. He knew there was nothing to be surprised about. But he can't help it. Wei Ying uses circumstances to his own benefit, it surprises him and makes him love the boy more than before.

 

Notes:

Wei Ying had been sent to Lan clan style therapy to help his fear of dogs. It works a little.

Alright folks, Shufu (like every neighbourhood aunties) ships Wei Ying with Wen Qing beacuse they TALKED!
A Girl and a boy? together? talking? being friendly? How scandalous!!!!

Wei Ying: *drinking wine* Nobody will know. How will they know?
The Lan brothers: ..... I present you... us.

Lan Xichen will be so mad if he knows he cock blocked his didi's first attempt at kiss!

Lan Zhan: *drunk* *clingy* *whiney* *nuzzling wy's 'ticklish' area*
Wei Ying: *slightly aroused* Mission abort! mission abort!

What happened the last time Lan Qingheng got drunk?? -Lan Zhan was born.
I mean,, I can't not think about it. If Qingheng-Jun locked up himself and his wife separately, how did thier sonsons came to be??? Lan Xichen can be conceived after their marriage night, understandable. But Lan Zhan??? years later was born??? how???
Sorry baby, I think you were unplanned. But a precious gift♡

Chapter 27: The one who knows

Notes:

back to shorter chapter

Sequences of events are not the same as they have been in Lan Wangji's life. Lan Yi's spiritual guqin doesn't attack Wei Ying when he intrudes through the secret tunnel in the cold cave. He knew it wouldn't attack with Wei Ying having a Lan sacred ribbon around his forehead. He still feels himself breath out in relief. 

Providentially Wei Ying has years of practice dealing with colds so he doesn't shiver to his bones. He still hugs himself and rubs his arms to warm himself up. His eyes explore the cave, focus shifting from the icy walls of the cave to the icy floor, cold pond and glaciers. The cave had no other shades than blue and gray. Lan Wangji wonders how Lan Yi managed to stay sane for hundreds of years of watching nothing but dull colors. Wei Ying tootled his way to the icy rock where lies the same spiritual guqin, Lan Wangji never thought there would be another chance of seeing this again.    

"So, what now?" Wei Ying asks, his eyes searching for something. "Do I need to dig out the Yin Iron?" 

As soon as he asked, a gentle voice echoed in the cave "How do you know about the Yin Iron?" 

As they turned to the source of that voice, to the spiritual guqin, they were met with a poise young lady. A lady Lan Wangji has anticipated to meet once again. "Lan Yi." he murmurs. 

Hearing him call her Lan Yi, Wei Ying hapzadly kneeled before her. "Wait! Lan Yi is rumored to be dead." he rose up again. He stared at the lady in front of him, in elegant blue robes and high crown that suited a clan leader. She stared back at him with cautiousness, two fingers held high to attack, very unlike how Lan Wangji saw her in his life. 

"Grand elder Lan Yi?" Wei Ying asked, kneeling slowly. 

"Speak, who are you? How do you know of the Yin Iron?How come you find the hidden cave?" 

"I-" Wei Ying tried to speak, but fear shook him under her unwavering gaze. 

"Judging by your ribbon, you are no other than a disciple. By which means did you acquire the knowledge of the cursed Yin Iron." 

"Shufu told me!" Wei Ying blurted out, shutting his eyes. "I- Well, Mainly Wen Xu said something about finding Yin Iron and then I asked Shufu about it and he told me about it." He doesn't say it was Lan Wangji who revealed secrets of Yin Iron.   

"The knowledge of Yin Iron can be passed down to the sect leaders only. Who is your Shufu? Why did he tell you about it?" Lan Yi again asked, no less cautious. 

"I begged him! No, I pestered him. Shufu is actually not my real Shufu. He was the acting sect leader, so he knows, and I pestered him- please don't kill me." 

Lan Yi let out a huff at Wei Ying's motor mouthed ramble. Quietly, She sat down telling Wei Ying to sit as well. "An acting sect leader's ward is still a ward. I'm amused that he trusted you with a forbidden knowledge." she spoke with the same placidity for the once renowned sect leader she was. " What is your name? Who are your parents?" 

As the initial fear was over Wei Ying got more brave, he rose his head from the lousy bow he had all this time and spoke as one speaks with a well acquainted friend. He said his name, his courtesy name and his parents name as well. He added his mother's relation with Lan Qiren as good friends, through how he ended up under Lan Qiren's care. 

"Tell her about your mother's master." Lan Wangji advised. He had loved the smile Wei Ying wore once he knew that the renowned Lan Yi was good friends with Baoshan Sanren. He wants Wei Ying to smile like that again. 

"And who could he be?" Lan Yi asked, narrowing her eyes to him. "You are… not of this world, are you?" she added before Lan Wangji could freak out. 

Lan Yi could see him. It shouldn't be surprising anymore, except he is surprised and a little panicked. He hasn't prepared to be seen by her. He didn't think he'd have to speak with her once again, in this form. Not only that, she could guess Lan Wangji did not belong here. If given the time she can tell which spell Lan Wangji is under currently, how he came to be here. He hopes she doesn't ask questions he can't answer. 

"You can see Wuming?" Wei Ying loudly cheers.  "Yes, he is not from this world. He said that my parents send him so that I don't get too lonely. He has been accompanying me ever since. He is the one who actually showed me the way to your cave. We really need to get back the Yin Irons." Lan Wangji feels grateful for Wei Ying filling the silence for him.

Lan Yi stared at Wei Ying cryptically as Wei Ying babbled on. Her eyes darted from him to Wei Ying and to a far corner at Wei Ying's right. "I see," Lan Yi nodded thoughtfully. He hopes Lan Yi actually sees the enormity behind his half baked lies. "And is…" She averted her gaze to Wei Ying's right again and stopped. Lan Wangji was still unsure what she was trying to find. 

"Can you…" Wei Ying trailed off with lips pressed in a tight line. The one where he feels uncomfortable and scared. 

"I'm a soul without a body." Lan Yi declared quickly, averting her eyes back to Wei Ying. "I can see other souls and spirits as well. That is how I believe I can see your friend as well." 

Wei Ying rubbed Lan Wangji's head roughly as if it's something to be proud of. 

"So, about your mother's master?" Lan Yi inquired.

"My mother was a pupil of the immortal Baoshan Sanren." Wei Ying replied with a soft smile. 

"Baoshan? Has taken disciples?" Lan Yi smiled, although she looked like she was on the verge of tears. 

"Do you- you were acquainted with my grandmaster?" Wei Ying choked out. Curiosity shining in his eyes. 

Lan Yi took a long breath and replied,"She was my friend. Dearest to my heart." And with a known sad smile she says, "My zhiji." 

This was news to him. She didn't mention being her zhiji. Though that was wishful thinking. Who'd talk about their lost zhiji to two fifteen year old boys who know no better than her. Here, she expects Wei Ying, thirteen years old, too young to understand the precedence of being one's zhiji. 

Except, he does. 

He knows the depth of trust one has to have with another to be called their greatest confidante. He has read hundreds of scrolls of literature to know how hard it is to find someone who acknowledges their true potential, a person one can reach out with blind eyes and deaf ears.

Here, Thirteen years old Wei Ying, mourned the loss of Lan Yi who had lost connection to her zhiji, who used 'was' instead of 'is'. "I apologize" he whispers in a hush tone as if it was him who lost his zhiji. 

Lan Yi huffs calling Wei Ying silly for being sad in her stead. "It has been a hundred years now. I'm used to it." She tucks a strand of hair behind his forehead, uncaring if her fingers touched the ribbon. 

"Even if you are used to it, it doesn't hurt any less, does it?" 

Hearing him, Lan Yi started laughing, loud and obnoxious. "You're one big boy, aren't you?" she pinches his cheeks, still shaking from mirth. After she has calmed herself down she asks the reason for Wei Ying seeking out Yin Iron. Wei Ying repeated the similar filtered story he recited to Lan Qiren. And as he remembers that she knows about Lan Wangji's existence he adds how he knows Yin Iron's curse from the very beginning. 

"Then it should be your elders who should be looking out for Yin Iron." 

"Shufu believes that Yin Iron is sealed safely. No one will find out." 

Lan Yi pauses for a moment and says, "While it is true that the Iron is sealed …. I can sense my energy decreasing day by day." 

And one day her seal will be completely undone; one has to bring the five pieces together to reseal it. When Wei Ying asks why, she tells him how Yin Iron gathers energy from nature. With broken shards the energy leaks out frenzy. Only another large source of natural energy such as the cold cave pond can subdue its power and seal it at once.

"If the Yin Iron gathers natural energy," Wei Ying says, tapping his chin. Lan Wangji can guess what he's going to ask, he hopes Lan Yi stops him, he hopes Wei Ying obeys Lan Yi's order because he never listens to Lan Wangji. "Can we not use the energy? It's energy after all. I mean, You created the cord assassination through it." 

"I'm afraid you've gotten it wrong." Lan Yi shakes her head. "I did use the Yin Iron's energy to enhance my power during my trials. And just like you I thought I could use that natural energy." Her back tensed up as she recalls how she was mistaken by her curiosity, how the Iron overpowered her, how she ended her life for if the power took over her sanity she could have attacked her own people. As it occurs, Lan Yi isn't much dissimilar to Wei Ying. Her mind works the same, driven by curiosity  and just like him she had sacrificed her life. 

"My elders warned me a thousand times. I didn't listen. To me those warnings sounded the same when they tried to make me step down from my leadership." 

Her tense shoulder slumps down with great effort. She sighs exhausted and loud, she runs her hand through Wei Ying's hair. "Then your grandmaster tried to stop me too. And guess what I did? I pointed my sword to her face, told her she was wrong and she can't stop me. I fought with her and she fought back." She takes a deep breath and adds, "I think she hated me for how I acted." 

"Elder master Lan Yi," Wei Ying clasped his hands together in a bow and adds, "Forgive my presumptuouness, I don't think Grandmaster Baoshan Sanren hated you." 

Lan Yi looked at him with woeful eyes. She's not crying but there was hope amongst them. Her expression so longing that Lan Wangji felts sympathy for her.

"I believe she was hurt but she didn't hate you." Wei said in his soft soothing tone. The one he usually uses when he's babysitting Lan Yawen, lulling him to sleep with comforting promise of his parents' return. Wei Ying speaks in this tone to anyone who is near an emotional outburst, be it children or adults. And it works like a miracle. Lan Yi smiles, her eyes are still sad but she's smiling as if she needed the verbal confirmation from someone and Wei Ying has given one. 

"If you say so." Lan Yi murmurs behind her hands, monetarily hiding her face. As soon as she recovers Wei Ying offered her with, 

"If possible, you should visit her. Do you know where she is residing? I heard she lives on a mountain. It's in her name afterall." 

Lan Yi snorts at his joke."And if I leave, who'll mitigate the Yin Iron?" Then after a quick pause Lan Yi adds, "In hindsight, I would have to leave one day." 

Lan Wangji assures that the Lan clan will take care of the matter with Wei Ying enthusiastically nodding along. It was enough to convince Lan Yi or perhaps she was impatient to meet her zhiji for one last time. She agrees to hand over the piece of Yin Iron but there was one condition. 

"Only a Lan can break the cave ward and play my guqin." She briefly gazes at him saying, "soul is here but a body is needed." 

Okay. She could recognize Lan Wangji's soul, she could tell Lan Wangji was a Lan. Luckily his soul was enough to open the barriers for Wei Ying but he can't play the guqin with his ghost-like reptile body.

"Huh- What soul?" Wei Ying asks. 

"Disciple Wei," Lan Yi calls him, "I will need you to bring someone from the Lan family. One you trust, one who trusts you the same. Can you-" she trails off. Asking for someone this close would be heartbreaking if Wei Ying didn't have one trusted person. Fortunately, he has. 

Wei Ying pulls out his paperman, surges a bit of spiritual energy and sends off the cave. Lan Wangji saw how amused Lan Yi looked at Wei Ying's fast working hands and the new talisman. She asks details about it and Wei Ying happily describes. 

"Disciple Wei is indeed intelligent." She praises, "I'm reviled to know that I'm entrusting the Yin Iron to someone as diligent as you." 

Lan Wangji can see how bashful Wei Ying is at her compliment. He preens Wei Ying with more compliments, adding that Lan Yi had spoken of nothing but the truth. Had she been present in cloud recesses she would brainstorm ideas with him.

"But be aware," Lan Yi says shortly after. "Do not make the same mistakes I did. Yin Iron is uncontrollable. Even if one learns to use its power, Yin Iron will surely take control over the mind. before you can take control over it." 

Her warning was the same as Lan Wangji's. Their concerns lie the same. 'Yin Iron will take control over you before you can learn to control it.' 

This time Wei Ying doesn't raise his voice or a brow. He accepts defeat with a slow exhale and a low bow. "I understand. This one will keep the grand elder's words in mind." 

"Promise?" Lan Wangji says, just to make sure.

Wei Ying scowls at him and says nothing but, "Yes. I promise." 

His eyes scans the tunnel they came from, waiting for help to arrive. 

"Who is this person to you, may I know?" Lan Yi hovers over the ice tablet, resting her chin on her palms. Undignified, uncaring, Un-Sect-leader-like. 

Before answering her question Wei Ying blushes. He shyly taps his nose before answering, "I think of him as my zhiji." 

Lan Zhan, he considers Lan Zhan to be his zhiji at such a young age. It took Lan Wangji a long time to learn this from his Wei Ying. Regardless, Lan Wangji is glad Wei Ying admitting his deep trust towards the other boy. Maybe soon he'll understand his feelings for the other as well.

Lan Yi makes a stretched out "Ooo" sound at Wei Ying's answer, which ends up making him blush even more. "He bit me though." Wei Ying blurted in a fit to hide his fluster. When Lan Yi asks how such tragedy befallen between them, Wei Ying told her about the alcohol accident. How his drunken Shixiong has loudly played an orchestra by himself and how his zhiji clung to him like a koala. And how they all ended up getting caught and punished. 

Soon Lan Yi burst into a loud fit of laughter, till she had to bite her lips to stop her hiccups. It reminds Lan Wangji of Wei Ying's laughter. Not only by curiosity and intelligence but also their uncaring laughter are similar to each other. 

Amusing.

"That's not how you should enjoy wine with Lans, Wei Wuxian." Lan Yi slowly says, claiming herself. "Sure Alcohol is forbidden. That doesn't stop anyone from enjoying it." 

"Really? you had drunk before." 

Lan Yi nods with a mixture of nostalgia and mirth. "As a Lan, we only drink either when we are alone or with our zhiji. Behind the privacy of our personal quarters." 

When Wei Ying asks why must they such great measures and why none but their zhiji should be their company , she replies with, "Because they are our zhiji. No matter what, they'll take our secrets to their grave." she then mutters something about immorality but doesn't make it clear for Wei Ying's ears. "Next time you make a Lan drink, make sure you two are hidden behind your doors, when the moon is out and bright. Only then you can enjoy the true taste of wine." she states loudly as a matter of fact. 

A beat later Lan Zhan's voice could be heard, echoing around the walls of the cold cave. Wei Ying jumps over to the tunnel to meet the other boy, who slowly glides down, following the paperman. Wei Ying catches Lan Zhan's hand to make sure the boy doesn't fall and greets him with a big bright smile. 

"Wei Ying," whispers Lan Zhan, "are you okay?" 

He has yet not taken a look at his surroundings or the extra person present in the cave. His eyes scans Wei Ying for any injuries but Wei Ying stops him, tugging him to follow. 

As soon Lan Zhan's eyes fell on the woman in front of him he dipped his head in a quick bow. "Grand elder Lan Yi." he greets, recognizing her features from old portraits. He glances at Wei Ying from his bow, questioning what was going on. After Lan Yi had scanned his features she smiled with a huff and told the boy to raise his head. Lan Wangji is sure Lan Yi recognized their souls to be one. She perhaps can tell that the two souls belong to one person. 

Wei Ying tells Lan Zhan of the reason why he was here, how Lan Yi has been concealing Yin Iron's power with her life force. Lan Yi instructs Lan Zhan to play her guqin to undo the seal and Lan Zhan does so without questioning. 

As soon as the seal was undone the same shrill of thousands of people yelling and shouting could be heard. Complaints of cultivators losing their life, cries of the dead, howls of men and women. It had the boys shiver, frightened. They unconsciously huddled around each other, holding each other's hand. Lan Zhan has yet to know what cursed Yin Iron is. The questions are at the corner of his mouth but he doesn't utter a word. Trusting Wei Ying and Lan Yi's words he follows every step. Lan Yi pours her Qi to the Yin Iron for the shoutings were getting louder. She at last, hands over the Iron to Wei Ying. 

"Don't try to do anything by yourself. Inform your elders, they'll know what to do." 

The boys bow again taking her advice to their heart. Slowly her spiritual body glows and starts despairing like light rays. 

"Wei Ying," she calls fondly smiling, "Thankyou for this opportunity." Wei Ying returns her smile in ten fold. She glances at Lan Zhan and says, "One last advice as a failed companion, Do not fight against each other. If the situation looks dire, talk, argue, wait,  but never raise your weapons to the other." Her gaze wandered to their joined hands, her figure vanishing in thin air along with her spiritual guqin. "Be happy together, you have my blessings." 

 

The cave now feels empty without her presence. They waited in front of the ice cenotaph where she was seated. 

"It has been two days since our punishment." Lan Zhan says breaking the melancholic silence. 

"What? Two days? but I've been here for two hours or so?" Wei Ying shakes his head.   "Anyways, how's your back now? heeled?" He peeks at Lan Zhan's back as if he can see through his many layers of clothing.

"Mn. Yours?" 

"I'm okay. But-" emphasizing the last words, Wei Ying bares his forearm and presents it to Lan Zhan's face. There in the middle is a bite mark, raging red, teeth marks denting his flesh like finely stitched silk.

It's quite bad . 

Lan Zhan winces at the mark and asks, "How? Who?" 

Bewildered, Wei Ying laughs. "What do you mean 'how' 'who'? Drunk. You." 

Lan Zhan digs his eyes in the bite mark, aghast, quite not believing it was him. 

"I tried to shove you and you bit me. Don't you remember?" 

Lan Zhan shakes his head.

"You don't remember? not even a little bit?" 

Lan Zhan shakes his head again. "I.." he darts his gaze to the ground, ears blooming red, "I remember Xiongzhang, loud singing." 

"And?" 

With flaming red ears Lan Zhan responded, "What did I do? Did I say something?" 

Wei Ying snorts.  "You really don't remember anything." Lan Wangji would say otherwise. There is a possibility that he remembers hearing himself whining. To him the pictures were always blurry or blank but the voices linger. That would describe why Lan Zhan refused to meet Wei Ying in the eye or why his ears were blazing red.

"You didn't say as much as Xiongzhang did." Wei Ying sighs. "Just spouted the usual bunch of your nonsense." He doesn't make it clear which usual bunch of nonsense. Lan Zhan waits for him to do so but Wei Ying tugs him out of the cave saying they don't have time, they'll have to show the new problem Wei Ying newly acquired. 

Notes:

Lan Qiren: *in the Lanshi being proud that Wei Ying is repenting deeply after breaking rules*
Meanwhile Wei Ying: Some one said something?

Lan Zhan: *upon seeing his teeth mark on Wei Ying* kink unlocked:- Marking.
*
Lan Yi: Babe guess what!?!?!??! my descendent nephew and your grand disciple are in love!!!!!
Baoshan Sanren:....... YOU MEET ME AFTER A HUNDRED YEARS AND THIS IS THE FIRST THING YOU SAY!
cheers to my only sapphic couple in this fic.
I know Lans are all poise and proper, specially sect leaders. But hear me out, she has to be one mad fella to create a deadly technique againts her family's well wishes. So I HC that Lan Yi was that extroverted loud nuisance and Baoshan Sanren was the opposite. That Baoshan Sanren saw Cangse Sanren and thought about Lan Yi.
Friendly Reminder that Zhiji doesn't stand for romantic relationship or something like that, it can mean a lot more than that which I can't put in words but I've read a lot of post in Twitter and tumbler to know the depth.
Always thankyou for reading.

Chapter 28: Knowing the unknown

Notes:

Cw: canon character death

Smuggling alcohol didn't make Lan Qiren that angry when he learned Wei Ying smuggled the Yin Iron. His outrage had been expected. Nevertheless he took Wei Ying's words seriously as he delivered Lan Yi's message. 

"I did noticed Wen Ruohan's affiliation with minor sects, his increasing greed." Lan Qingheng stated. "I don't want to think of war." he sighed as if he had aged decades after examining the shard of Yin Iron. Whether he wants to think of war or not is not significant anymore. What they should think is how they are going to protect themself during the war. War was inevitable, unless by some miracle Wen Ruohan died by himself. 

The two brothers kept discussing how Wen Ruohan has been secretly sabotaging minor sects and clans, keeping them under tutelage to increase his manpower. If the Yin Iron falls under his hands it'll be another calamity like Xue Chonghai. Him being chief cultivator doesn't help them either. They cannot accuse Wen Ruohan of trying to steal Yin Iron without evidence. Even if they do, it's not like anyone will dare to bat an eye if Wen Ruohan erases their whole clan.  

In conclusion they agreed to collect all the other hidden pieces and seal them away. With that being said, the question arises, "Who'll take the responsibility?" 

Wei Ying volunteered enthusiastically, jumping on the tip of his toes. And where Wei Ying goes, Lan Zhan will follow. 

Lan Qiren dismisses both of them saying, "Too young."

When Lan Wangji was given the duty to collect the Yin Iron pieces, Lan Qiren didn't mention anything about being too young. Then again, Lan Wangji had been fifteen when he accepted the mission, had pledged to Lan Yi.  Here Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are no older than thirteen, too young is an acute word to describe them. Be it as may, Wei Ying protested against Lan Qiren's decions. Because he doesn't fear who he is arguing with, because he has been arguing with Lan Qiren for years. 

"Wuxian," Lan Qingheng stepped in stopping Wei Ying from pointing out another reason why he is the perfect candidate for the 'Yin Iron hunt'. 

"While I understand great elder Lan Yi has bestowed the Yin Iron up on you, she has also advised you not to try doing anything by yourself." 

Lan Zhan nodded, hearing his father's reasoning. And unlike Lan Qiren, Wei Ying doesn't argue with Qingheng-Jun. 

Further after Wei Ying was made to believe that the travel out there is too dangerous for one or two thirteen year old teens, regardless of their golden core. Lan Wangji agreed to each of them, not giving Wei Ying the high ground to disobey. Having no other choice the responsibility fell upon Lan Xichen, who accepted the duty with high regards and honor. 

That being said, Wei Ying was not happy with the outcome. He whined in his room for half an hour, complaining how he worked so hard to find out the secrets only to be stopped mid way. 

"When Lan Xichen returns with all the pieces, Cloud recesses will need extra security." Lan Wangji informs Wei Ying after he had tired himself out. "Will Wei Ying not try to find ways to protect the seal?" 

"That's boring!" Wei Ying whined again. "And traveling around in quest of finding secret iron is so much fun. It's exactly like those adventure stories Mianmian keeps recommending." 

He never finished the books Mianmian recommended, leaving them halfway. Though he later asks Lan Zhan of the ending, having him re-tell the whole story. 

"How will you go on adventures if you get gravely injured?" He asks. 

"That can also mean Xiongzhang can be in danger as well. How can us two combined be of any less than him alone?" 

"Because, Lan Xichen is three years older and wiser. He is more experienced in making decisions than you two are. The duty he was given relies more on intellectual intelligence than physical strength." 

Wei Ying whines more, throwing his limb over the bed. Lan Wangji does what he can to calm Wei Ying down, to make him feel less miserable. He nudges on the crook of Wei Ying's neck, wrapping himself the way Wei Ying likes it. Wei Ying hugs him back, rubbing his own face on his mane. 

 

*

Months passed by quietly after they had bid farewell to Lan Xichen. Lan Qiren had flooded Wei Ying with grading papers only so that he wouldn't secretly follow Lan Xichen to his secret mission. 

 

Summer came by and cloud recesses was once again brimming with guest disciples. Generally, Wei Ying prefers not to cross paths with guest disciples and arrogant sect heirs. That year was different with Nie Huaisang being present. 

Nie Huaisang who was spoiled rotten by his elder brother, with dangling earrings and elaborate headpieces and even more exquisite fan on his hand, covering his jaw, greeted the Cloud recesses with unnecessary glamor. Wei Ying was the one to welcome him and certainly was the one to remind him of the rules with ornaments. 

"But I bought them especially to wear them in Gusu." Nie Huaisang started whined even before stepping in the premise of Cloud recesses. 

"You can wear them when you are out. Shufu will throw them in a fire pit if he sees you with them." 

Knowing that Wei Ying was not joking with Lan Qiren burning away ornaments he quickly took them off. They make their way to the guest disciples' dorm with Wei Ying escorting Nie Huaisang to his room. As Nie Huaisang stepped in to check his room his eyes fell on the stack of books and scrolls. 

"Those are my notes." Wei Ying provides with his usual friendly smile.

"And what are your notes doing in my room?" Nie Huaisang inquired with narrow eyes. 

"Your brother did not tell you?" 

"Tell what?" 

"That I'll be helping you with your studies during your stay." 

"No!" Nie Huaisang frantically yells. "Why'd you agree to something like that?" 

"Oh. We made a deal. I help you pass and in return get taught the Nie clan's resentful energy cultivation technique." 

Nie Huaisang snapped shut his fan, thumping his way to Wei Ying, shaking him by his shoulders, "Why'd you want to learn something our own clan wants to get rid off!" he shouted. 

Fearing his shouts will be heard Wei Ying covered his face and dragged him to his bed. "Shouting is forbidden." He says as if he doesn't shout on a regular basis. "And don't let anyone else know this. It's a big secret." He loudly whispers, hands still clamped on Nie Huaisang's mouth to keep him quiet. "So you better pass because I worked really hard to make those notes for you." 

And what an unfortunate time for Lan Zhan to walk into them being pressed on each other. He would have knocked if the door was not open wide. 

His eyes twitched as he watched Wei Ying slowly peel his palm off Nie Huaisang's face and stand near the bed nervously. He might be fearing that Lan Zhan heard Nie Huaisang about their deal. Where else Lan Wangji was sure the Lan boy was chugging vinegar. 

"Disciples are looking for you to start the drills. Join them." He quietly, calmly says leaving the room without waiting for any answer. 

Wei Ying follows, tries to catch up with Lan Zhan saying they were not doing anything wrong and asking why he suddenly got so mad for being late for drills.

"I believe you both have gotten the wrong idea." Lan Wangji huffs in amusement. How can Wei Ying know Lan Zhan so well yet not understand what made him angry. 

 

*

 

On Wei Ying's suggestion, Lan Qiren's approval, the Lan clan established protective barriers on important buildings. The Lanshi, Mingshi, Library and main compound were highly protected. Only people with a Lan ribbon can pass through them. The new guest disciples were given jade tokens to pass through the barriers within a limited time. As expected, students grew curious as to why the Lan clan was increasing their security all of a sudden. As soon as news spread that the Nie clan was doing the same, had suggested other clans to follow if they wished to. Everyone concluded it to be nothing out of the ordinary.

 

Nie Huaisang explained  their new trails of security and barriers. He lamented about his harsh training and how he no longer had an excuse of heavy saber to save himself. What surprised Lan Wangji was, that Nie Mingjue had bought Meng Yao's mother to keep her in close observation. He conditioned Meng Yao to swear his life for the Nie clan in return for his mother's freedom. 

"I heard Xichen-ge once telling Da-ge how he wished Meng Yao could fulfill his mother's debt." 

"Xiongzhang has a kind heart. He told us how bad he feels about Meng Yao's mother's illness." 

Having his wish come true did make Lan Xichen really happy. According to Nie Huaisang, Lan Xichen had wanted to meet Meng Yao's mother for a long time. Had he not been so shy and virtue-binded to spare a glance at a brothel, he would have helped her years before. Lan Wangji knew of Lan Xichen's worry for others but he rarely shared his sorrow for Meng Yao and his mother to him. His behaviour has changed drastically under Wei Ying's influence. These days he talks about his desires and worries more openly than Lan Wangji had ever known.

Now Mingjue would have never bother buying a prostitutes freedom. With how much Nie Mingjue hates prostitutes, he would rather have them rot in brothels than have them taken care of in his own sect. To the outside world it looks like a master's kindness to his subordinate and his strong sense of justice. But Lan Wangji is not from the outside world, he doubts Nie Mingjue only did it to impress Lan Xichen and have Meng Yao's obligation to him. Lan Wangji dwells on how Nie Mingjue will manage to change his part of life, he thinks they are doing quite fine. 

 

Wei Ying's schedule grows tighter as time passes by. With regular patrol and training disciples as the second in command. In his free time he gets back to his research and experiments, either in his room or the library or in the back hills. 

 

While Wei Ying was working on his new musical composition near the back hills fountains, Nie Huaisang slumped beside him a cage containing a canary, a  stack of his own music sheets and a small flute. 

"Pets aren't allowed to be kept in a cage. If you want to walk around with your pet, it must free and well trained." Wei Ying recites the modified rule. "How was your test?" he adds. 

"That's not important now." He lifts the cage, making the canary chirp and says, "I came here for a different purpose." He flips his hands and shows Wei Ying his wooden flute with bird intricate on it.

"It's a spiritual tool." Wei Ying exclaims sensing its qi. 

"Yes. And I want you to teach me to play." 

"You know you can take musical classes if you want to learn."

Nie Huaisang shook his head saying he has enough classes for the year and he doesn't want one more. Showing his sheets he says, "I know the basics of flute. There are few compositions on training birds. And I want you to help me create more." 

Wei Ying was amused to examine the musical sheets on training animals. These topics are rare in the Lan clan's archive, more rare for training birds. "I've only seen sheets to train spiritual dogs. Where did you find these?" 

"Aiya! So many questions. A friend I know gave me. Now, will you not help me,Wei Xiong?" Nie Huaisang pleaded his big eyes. It shouldn't work on Wei Ying but he humors his friend. 

"First I'll have to check them myself. They are for spiritual birds not the common one's. So it'll be hard." 

"And this is where you should be proud to have me as your friend." Nie Huaisang suddenly pulled out a small scroll with a complex knot. He lowered his head and whispered, "Promise you'll not tell anyone. And if you do, I'll expose yours in return." 

"You didn't have to threaten me like that." punching Nie Huaisang on the shoulder he reads the scroll. 

Lan Wangji saw Wei Ying's eyes blow wide as he exclaimed, "Is this real?" 

"Absolutely." 

"Does this work?" 

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking for your help." 

As Lan Wangji peeked over to see what made Wei Ying so surprised, he noticed the old crumpled paper first. The main paper in the scroll had gone pale yellow as if it hadn't seen the sun for centuries. He read the description which says something about sharing spiritual energy with the chosen animal. The shared energy will make the chosen animal the same level of a spiritual animal for a limited period. It is an mesmerizing method and Lan Wangji wondered why it was not well known. "What are the side effects?" he asks. There has to be lethal side effects for the text to be hidden for a long time. He wants to know where Nie Huaisang dug it up from. 

"Let's try." Wei Ying rolled his sleeves as if he's going for a fight.

"Right now?" 

"Right now." 

He makes an invisible noise barrier around them and plays out the tune, first with no spiritual energy, then with spiritual energy. They wait for side effects, any bleeding nose or ears, for headache or consciousness. Nothing happens luckily. 

"I guess there are no side effects." 

"Stop as soon as you find one." He warns Wei Ying because he can't tell him to stop without being to overprotective. "Go to the infirmary after this. Just in case."  

Wei Ying nods. They free the canary of it's cage, gently holding it around its wings so it doesn't fly away.  After enough cooing and petting Wei Ying starts to play the same music with a purpose this time. He focuses his energy on the music, his light qi surrounding the bird like sun rays. Soon he gestures Nie Huaisang to let go of the red bird, music still playing. As Nie Huaisang gently places the bird on the rock surface, Wei Ying shifts to a different music from the sheets Nie Huaisang brought. The commands for chirping three times.

They both look at each other with amusement as the canary chirps exactly three times. 

Later as Wei Ying plays different commands for jumping, hopping, pecks. It reminded Lan Wangji how it's the same way he saw his Wei Ying control corps. Commanding them with resentful energy with Chenqing. Could it be the same technique Wei Ying previously used.

Wei Ying smirked behind his flute as he played the notes for biting. The bird flies and bites Nie Huaisang on his cheek with its beak.  Nie Huaisang yelped in surprise, making Wei Ying fall into laughter. As he couldn't play his notes while laughing the connection between him and the bird faded, giving it the freedom to fly away. 

"No! it was expensive." Nie Huaisang cried, expanding his hands toward the sky, as though he could catch the canary that way. 

"Oops, too bad." Wei Ying laughed. "practice these notes till you get another. I'll help you compose a few more commands." He patted the other boy's shoulder. "But you must promise you'll not harm anyone with- whatever this is." 

"I will not." 

"Promise?" 

"....Okay promise." Nie Huaisang releculantly says. "Unless they harm my family first, surely Wei-Xiong will understand." 

"With good reasons, yes. Now go back to your studies. I know you have a test tomorrow, don't fail this one like the others." Wei Ying shoo's Nie Huaisang away. Muttering under his breath the other boy leaves but not before sticking his tongue out. 

Wei Ying fiddles with Chenqing for a while before whispering, "I think I have another idea." 

Which he will not reveal until he has perfected the idea, Lan Wangji knows that after years of experience. He sometimes wonders how Wei Ying can generate ideas after ideas in his brain.

"Just be cautious." He tugs Wei Ying until he agrees to get his meridians checked by the physician. Luckily there has been no disturbance in his meridians or the flow of his qi, Lan Wangji labels the project as safe. 

 

*

Season passes by quickly in between exchanged messages. Lan Xichen updates his search out for Yin Iron regularly, noticing his family that he is healthy and sound. There fortunately has been no disturbance in his way as this time they were out early to find the pieces.  However, one night Wei Ying opens Lan Xichen's talisman to see him saying, 

                I met your Shishu and Shibo. They are on their way to the Unclean realm. I'm escorting them.

               Xiao Xingchen seemed upset at Song Zichen.              

              Song Zichen killed someone. 

              A wanted criminal who attempted murdering the Chang clan. He had killed the patriarch of the Chang family for breaking his finger. 

              A-Xian, do you think me and Xiao Xingchen are too 'kind hearted' for sympathizing for a life. Sure Xue Yang had malicious intentions, but he was a human after all, why should I be wrong to want to give him a proper burial. 

             Now I'm also upset at Mingjue. 

             Write back to me soon. 

Had Wei Ying not been so busy he'd have seen the texts immediately.  It was late after dinner, when Wei Ying checked the talisman. Apparently Xue Yang had died in the hands of Song Zichen. Which Lan Wangji finds as a happy news. It's good that the entire Chang family was safe, except the patriarch, he couldn't bring himself to mourn a man he barely knew. Although from Lan Xichen's and Xiao Xingchen's perspective Xue Yang hadn't committed a great crime. They'd want to have his soul rest in peace.

"What do you think Wuming, was it unfair?" Wei Ying asks for his opinion. 

"No. A life for a life. Xue Yang was a wanted criminal, he killed more than just the Chang patriarch. He deserved to die. However a proper burial will not be wrong." 

Wei Ying dwelled on his answer for a while before telling Lan Xichen not to be too upset at his friend. He tells him what Lan Wangji had just said and reminded him that the world didn't work according to Lan clan rules. 

Later in the morning he gets another message from Lan Xichen. 

                I'll try not to be upset at my friend for a criminal I didn't know. Thank you A-Xian. However, Your shibo and shishu are still not talking to each other. 

              The following text is from your Song shibo, 

      To the nameless one, time repeats and follows. Weeding out the garden will not  clear the forest of life, misfortune lingers.

"Huh? what does that even mean?" 

"It means be cautious of danger."

"I don't think that's what he wanted to say. Should I go and meet them in Qinghe? It's been years. And they are having a fight. I never thought they'd fight. Aren't they- you know... lovers?" 

Lan Wangji chuckles at Wei Ying's shyness while talking about lovers. "Lovers fight too. I'm sure they'll make up soon." 

Wei Ying giggles "I never saw a lovers quarrel, I don't know for sure." Then with a quick pause, he turns around with flushed cheeks and asks, "Did you and your lover used to have small fights like this? How long did it take to make up?" 

 

Lan Wangji thinks Wei Ying is now old enough to understand. He can tell him about his pathetic love life without revealing too much. "Wei Ying," he calls in a low volume, the one Wei Ying knows as a story time tone, he shifts in his desk, eyes beaming with excitement. He's expecting something fun story and Lan Wangji has to see the horror in his face after he breaks down the truth. "My lover and I were never together." 

Wei Ying's brow rises in question but he quietly waits for Lan Wangji to continue, "I never confessed my love to him." 

"What the hell! why?" Wei Ying shouts out. It's rare for him to slur. 

"I was never brave enough to declare my love to him. At first I wasn't even sure if I loved him." 

"You were friends?" 

"Not quite friends either. But he regarded me as one anyway." 

"Then you were friends." Wei Ying takes his claws and runs his thumb gently, forcing himself to smile. "I believe he loved you as well. I mean it's you after all. You are so…. caring and gentle and wise. How can anyone not love you." 

To hear it from him breaks his heart and heals him at the same time. Wei Ying doesn't even know their full story yet he believes that in some other time, they had loved each other. 

"We used to fight a lot, each time we met, it was either me asking him something he couldn't do, or him shoving me away. I believed my love was not reciprocated and that he hated me when I tried to stop him from wielding resentful energy." 

"And I believe he thought you hated him for wielding resentful energy." Wei Ying huffed but his eyes didn't smile. "You both thought that you were hated by the other, when in reality you both loved each other deeply. That's what happened, I am sure." He looks at Lan Wangji with tearful eyes and shaky voice he asks, "Does my curiosity toward resentful energy remind you of him?" 

Yes, Lan Wangji wants to say. You are him. He wants to yell. 

He takes in a deep slow breath and replies, "You are you. And he was him. Even the smallest sway of a branch, flutter of butterflies, ripples of water will remind me of him." He tries to steady his voice as he continues. "It was my mistake for not having the courage to speak of my love to him. I kept my longing for him a secret.

My fault that I did nothing to protect him, just so I don't give away my secret. I did not support him when he needed." He took a long breath before adding, "Please do not feel guilty for my failures. Try to learn from my mistakes." 

He noticed Wei Ying's shoulder shaking, he made a sound that can be called half sob and half laugh. "It's not your fault alone. I am sorry but that guy could… I don't know! talk to you properly instead of shoving you away. He should have asked you to support him. I know you! You wouldn't let him down if he asked something, that's your lover!" 

In the midst of gloom surrounding them, Lan Wangji laughs. He laughs loudly like he hadn't laughed ever before. He feels light, so light, after sharing his sorrows and failures with Wei Ying. Him telling that he was loved back, him getting angry at his other self. He feels light, he feels happy. 

How amusing, with the wish of him making sure of Wei Ying's happiness, Wei Ying was making him happy in return. He didn't ask for anything in return but he doesn't blame the gods for giving him a little something.

"Wei Ying, Wei Ying." He sang-song like Wei Ying always does. "It has been centuries since I lost my lover. Please do not get angry at him. He had his hardships while I had mine." 

Wei Ying huffs like Lan Wangji does, all mature and grown up. "Then I pray that his soul is resting in peace." 

"I hope so." 

They both fall in a long comforting silence, listening to the early morning birds chirping, the growing murmur of disciples getting ready for the day, Wei Ying's fingers running along his long spine, his blue fur and the ends of his tail. 

"Hey," Wei Ying whispers. "If by any chance, if you ever meet him, promise me you'll confess your love in one breath." 

Lan Wangji knows it's not possible to ever meet Wei Ying. His soul was either shattered or sacrificed by himself during his last moments. Lan Wangji never found his soul was in the ghost realm, nor in the spiritual realm, he doubts his soul was reincarnated that fast. His soul was just… gone.

Nevertheless, whatever happened to him, wherever he is, Lan Wangji hopes he is at peace. 

"I will." he plays along.  No need to make Wei Ying any sadder by speaking of truth. "Then you must confess your love to your lover as well." he adds because he can tease Wei Ying, because he knows Wei Ying likes to be teased. 

Wei Ying's face grows red as he scrambles away from Lan Wangji. As if that will save him.  "My love?" he squeaks in a high pitched, childlike way. "My lover?" he squeaks again, averting his gaze. "I don't have a lover.Who shall I confess!"

"Lan Zhan, Lan Wangji, second jade of Lan." He recites all the names and very carefully doesn't recite Hanguan-jun. "Your Zhiji." 

"That!" Wei Ying shouts getting behind his privacy sheet to change out of his sleepwear. "You're bullying me! So cruel to bully a child." 

He continues whining and complaining until he's out to start his day. Lan Wangji stops 'bullying' him because he loves the boy. 

He loves Wei Ying all the way one could love. As one human loves another, as a spouse loves their significant other, as a parent loves their child. He will always find his way to love Wei Ying. His love can not be bounded by mere definitions of love. Could not be written on paper with simple words known to human beings. 

Notes:

hopefully this will be the last chapter from Lan Wangji's POV
Next chapter will start with Wei Ying's POV

Chapter 29: Blue White and Red

Notes:

Odd number but here starts Wei Ying's POV
Hope you enjoy : )

The earliest memory Wei Ying has are of his parents, a flash of white against black. A mixture of shrilling laughter, golden hue of afternoon sun cutting through the leaves, cold breeze and him swaying forwards and backwards on his father's shoulders. His mother by their side, swaying side says on a donkey. Her face was covered with an opaque veil but he is sure she was the one making jokes. 

The next memory he has of them was the time when he last saw them. Tucked in a warm bed, loud kisses all over his face, sweet promises of return. A calming lullaby. 

"We will be back before sunrise. Can A-Ying be a brave boy and sleep soundly?" 

"We'll return so soon you will not even realize we were gone in the first place." 

They promised.

They will be back.

But promises are hard to keep. Sometimes, the universe plays a dirty prank and forces people to break their promises. 

They promised.

But they couldn't return.

Chronologically thinking, memories later that night are blurry, black and gray, feverish shivering, skin piercing cold or was that the feeling of wild fangs over his flesh?

He doesn't know. He doesn't remember. 

He doesn't want to know. He doesn't want to remember. 

Regardless of the few sad days, his life changed when he found one certain blue doll. 

A very alive and noisy blue doll. 

"I am a dragon." the blue doll had said. It was a lie, clearly he was a lizard, a very colorful and hairy lizard. Lizard or dragon Wei Ying couldn't care, for he knew he was dreaming. 

How could he not? He was filthy, hadn't had a bath for weeks, no proper clothes. Whoever saw him had to scrunch their nose just like when they passed a pile of trash. Like he was the personification of trash. 

But trash was trash, and Wei Ying was Wei Ying. Trash couldn't smile, Wei Ying could. When people looked at him with disgust, Wei Ying smiled at them. He thinks it's something his mother taught him, or he picked it up from her by himself. After being ignored for a long time Wei Ying was baffled when the blue doll hugged him out of nowhere. He said Wei Ying's name with a fondness that only his parents used to have. Despite being an inhumane creature, despite having short limbs and long scaled body, his enfoldment was the warmest blanket Wei Ying had ever had. 

He believed it was a dream.

Wei Ying wanted it to be true.

He wanted, the hugs, the scoldings, the care, the naggings to last forever. 

And Wuming, the blue furry lizard, promised him so. 

But promises are hard to keep.

Wei Ying used to wake up everyday to see that Wuming was gone, to realize that all of it was a dream. To feel cold and lonely again. 

But Wuming was there, everyday, waiting for him to wake up, accompanied him throughout his day, hugged him, scolded him, cared for him, nagged him the way Wei Ying wanted. 

Long before he forgot the anticipation of loneliness, of the betrayal of fever dreams. He believed in his heart that, all of it was real. As unbelievable as it sounded, Wei Ying forced himself to believe that yes, his parents sent a fairy to take care of him. His parents, no matter where they are, will not let their A-Ying to be lonely. 

After meeting Wuming, his life no longer felt black or dull gray. He didn't feel cold despite the ankle deep snow, he didn't feel hungry despite having not eaten anything for days. 

It was, as if, Wuming was his lucky charm. No longer had he met Wuming, He met the most wonderful boy in the world. 

Why call Lan Zhan the most wonderful boy? 

Lan Zhan is full of wonder, that's why. 

Other than Wuming, no living being looked at him for a moment too long. If they did it was either out of sympathy or disgust or just to find a chance to beat him for fun purposes. 

Lan Zhan was different. 

Lan Zhan, with his expensive white robes and sweet smelling fragrance, decided it was a good idea to walk into a narrow alleyway and stand in front of a scrubby, ragged clothed, smelly Wei Ying. Not only that, he extended his hand to give him a toy, his toy. 

Wei Ying would have been scared of Lan Zhan for the stoic face he had back then. 

If not for those eyes. 

Lan Zhan met him with eyes of the same color as Wuming. His gaze was as unwavering as Wuming and Wei Ying understood not to refuse him. 

As a repayment Wei Ying had nothing to offer him other than his best smile. His father had once told him, "A-Ying's smile is the most expensive gift I have ever had." 

Little did he know, the boy in white robes and golden eyes would crouch before him to play just because he asked. They played for a long period, he thinks. It has felt like eternity back then, a peaceful heaven. 

With Lan Zhan and Wuming with him, the snow covered alley felt like a warm playground, Lan Zhan's fragrance reminded him of the ripe loquats in summer and his eyes, his eyes were like the glowing bright sun. 

He wanted it to last forever.

And by some miracle, his wish came true. 

Everyday after that day, his nose met the sweet aroma and his eyes met the dazzling sight.

Everyday after that day nothing was black and gray. 

He was welcomed in a fairyland of white and blue. 

Not the boring sad kind of white and blue, but the safe and peaceful one. 

He was draped in Lan Zhan's snow-white robes that made him all warm and fuzzy inside. They smelled like Lan Zhan did. 

He had been scared that Lan Zhan might not be happy to give him his clothes. Lan Zhan always proves him wrong. 

Never for once did Lan Zhan show animosity towards him for borrowing his clothes. No tantrums, no shouts, no knitted brows, not even a silent judgment.

While growing up, Wei Ying was surrounded by outspoken people. Never in his young life had he ever thought a small ' mn' would bring him such joy. Nor did he think holding hands would be so delightful. 

That was how he first arrived in Cloud recesses, wearing Lan Zhan's clothes, holding Lan Zhan's hands, being guided by Shufu. 

Shufu on the other hand was scary, he spoke like he was angry but Wei Ying never felt scared of him. He huffed and gruffed like old grandpa's basking under the winter sun. Slowly Wei Ying started to find him funny. He understood Shufu was not angry with him, he is just like that, to everyone. He let Wei Ying sleep in his own bed, he didn't shout or beat him when Wei Ying made a mistake. Just like Zirui shibo said, Shufu proved himself to be a patient man. Instead of getting angry, he calmly  taught Wei Ying what to do and what not to do, and reminded Wei Ying of the rules he had to follow to live there. 

And Wei Ying wanted to live there, for as long as they let him. 

As scary as the humongous wall of rule is, it helped Wei Ying to adjust with the new people. He knew what he could do and what he could not. He knew everyone has to finish at least one bowl of rice, everyone has to sit with their heels touching their bums and back as straight as the wooden planks. 

He knows Shufu isn't doing it for free or out of virtue. It doesn't matter how many times Wuming says otherwise. 

Shufu took him in out of old regret and repentance. He has heard enough hushed whispers to understand the connection between his mother and the man who is warding him. Shufu had no reason to. He could pretend to not know Wei Ying. He could take out his revenge on Wei Ying, the child of the woman he failed to confess his love for.  

Wei Ying would accept that in return for the fortune he's bestowed with. 

Lans are too good for that. Lan Qiren, a rule-abiding Lan, wouldn't take out his anger on a child that has nothing to do with his failed love. There is no real anger against his mother nor for his father. There's only grief in his eyes. 

Wei Ying is always grateful to him.

Sometimes the gratitude he feels is too much to bear. 

To lessen the remorse in Shufu's eyes Wei Ying tries his best to make Lan Qiren happy. He never wants to make the man think he has made a mistake for bringing Wei Ying in. 

Wei Ying believes he passed. Shufu looked less and less exhausted by the time Wei Ying was ten. He had started growing back his goatee, the one his mother shaved off. Although he looks really ugly in it, Wei Ying thinks it's a symbol of letting go of his lingering regrets. 

Or maybe he just has too much free time with Qingheng-Jun on duty. 

 

Speaking of duty, Wei Ying had been proud to have the duty to collect the Yin Iron. But his pride was shattered when Shufu forbade him to take any further step on hunting down the pieces. He gave the duty to Lan Xichen instead. His dearest and most annoying shixiong fulfilled the duty in the span of six months. 

The cursed iron is now sealed inside the cold cave, protected in many layers of barrier he and his elders brain stormed with. 

As it was done, Wuming had relaxed down. Wei Ying knows Wuming is aware of the future, if he warns them of the wrong decisions they can be saved from disaster. If only things were that easy. 

Wuming is someone from a different realm. He can't be seen, he can't be heard, he can't be touched by all but some chosen people. Why are they the chosen people? Wei Ying doesn't know, Wei Ying wants to know. 

"Too much curiosity kills the cat." said Shufu.

And the proverb was very close to proving itself true. His incessant questions almost made Wuming disappear. Wei Ying learned, there are matters better left unknown, for the loss is too heart wrenching to bear. He can't lose Wuming, a constant in his life, his lucky charm. 

However, he can't contain his curiosity when it comes to Chenqing.

The flute Shufu gave him. 

It was emerald green, like the deep lakes of Biling. The flute Shufu gave him had a harmonious thrum of spiritual energy. Its energy slipped through his meridians like sticky syrup. That was not Chenqing. 

"Chenqing" Wei Ying had repeated the name Wuming suggested. It was a nice name. For a precious moment everything was nice, until that gust of wind and the heaviness of resentful energy. Back then Wei Ying was too unprepared to understand that the resentful energy that submerged Cloud recesses was none other than his spiritual dizi. 

The flute Shufu gave him was no longer there. The emerald green of Biling Lake looked like a sea full of water ghouls, black but gleaming. 

The flute Shufu gave him was no longer there. The harmonious thrum of spiritual energy didn't sing. Rather he heard muffled screeches of human and non-human beings. They welcomed him, they called for him, they were his to command. 

That was Chenqing. 

Chenqing's energy was different from the one he previously felt. Where the syrupy qi slipped through his meridians, Chenqings qi seized upon his bones, clutched into him like a creeper's root clutched into the uneven grounds. Regardless, it was not uncomfortable. It's energy danced with him just like Suibian's energy. As if Chenqing was made to be his. As if Chenqing solely chose him as its master, damn be whatever spirit resided in the flute before. 

Chenqing's energy felt no different than resentful energy. No one except him could  feel it though. He handed Chenqing over Lan Xichen and Lan Zhan. They didn't bat an eye. He let his dizi instructor hold Chenqing, he let Shufu hold Chenqing, no one felt the difference. Chenqing only allowed him to feel the resentful energy. 

It sparked a curiosity in him. But with the way Shufu looked at him when Wei Ying brought up the topic…. Well, that was the first and probably the only time he had seen Lan Qiren truly angry. 

He knew where to keep his quiet. He kept his curiosity to himself, not even Wuming knows about Chenqing. Obviously because, Wuming might tell him to get rid of Chenqing. And Wei Ying doesn't want to.

Chengqing is not malicious or harmful and Wei Ying has grown fond of it. If he doesn't agree to get rid of Chenqing then Wuming would nag him to death, and worry like he's dying. Wei Ying doesn't want to make the poor guy worry more than he already does. 

That doesn't mean Chenqing isn't concerning at times. Whenever Wei Ying is dealing with a abundantly stubborn Yao or ghost full of resentment, Chenqing shouts to him. He can feel its energy vibrating, telling him to fight with it instead of Suibian. At times he questioned how he could fight with musical cultivation, with a dizi. The best he could do was to play music to libertae or surpass.  He wondered if he could create something equivalent to chord assassination. 

Later, he felt the resentful energy of Chenqing collide with Yin Iron. Chenqing was ready for a battle. Wei Ying was almost scared to touch his own dizi.  

He kept quiet, he wanted to shout.

Just then Nie Huaisang came up with his suspicious looking scroll. He wouldn't have helped Nie Huaisang work with it if he himself was not so invested in the technique. 

Sure he agrees musical practice became the reason why Nie Huaisang failed his year, he wasted his time on mastering the commands. "Playing with birds is more fun than those boring texts."  Nie Huaisang religiously ignored his notes and Wei Ying didn't even notice. But at least Wei Ying has found a clue to create something alike the cord assassination. 

It's a secret he wants to keep until he has perfected it. What if his elders want to stop him like they had with Lan Yi. Elder Lan Yi was the sect leader, she could get away with a few crimes. Wei Ying is no sect leader or heir, he is just… Wei Ying. He fears the disappointed, disapproving face of Shufu. So, until he refines his theories in practical terms, he'll lie low, he'll keep quiet.

 

Another big secret Wei Ying fears to talk about is the feeling of another person with him. 

It's…. It's a little difficult to explain.  Is it a person? a ghost? an spirit? he can't tell. But there is something, someone always with him just like Wuming. He has felt the presence since the first time he found Wuming lying unconscious on white snow. Unlike Wuming he can't see or hear it, nor can he touch it. His conscience tells him it's there. He feels it's presence the same way Lan Zhan feels Wuming's presence. 

Earlier he dismissed it, letting the spirit be itself. It followed Wei Ying like a ghost, sometimes it left him alone. Days later Wei Ying would find it in the bunny field or near the back hills. It's not resentful either. 

The first time Wei Ying felt it act differently was when meet he Jiang siblings in Koi tower. It jolted away like they'd hurt him. It hovered near Jiang Yanli like it wanted her to notice its presence. Other than that one certain moment the invisible spirit stays to itself. 

It loves to follow around Wuming. Wei Ying guessed that it's a part of Wuming. He'd ask if there wasn't that fear of losing him for telling him the unknowns. 

Wei Ying is sure Lan Yi could see the spirit too. She had glanced at it twice or thrice. Since she didn't say a word, Wei Ying will also not. 

Not that it matters much to his life. 

Wei Ying doesn't bother it, it doesn't bother Wei Ying. 

Wei Ying bothers Wuming, Wuming bullies Wei Ying. 

Wei Ying teases Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan silently tolerates him until he can tackle him in their workout sessions.

 

Life isn't as dull gray as it was in the streets. 

Wei Ying wants to continue living like this for as long as possible. Surrounded by white clouds over the blue sky. Obscured sun atop the highest peak. The music of guqin and humm of xiao, fragrance of gentians and sweetness of magnolias. 

Wei Ying wants to create countless memories there within.

Notes:

A drawing I made

 

I wasn't sure if I should post this now or later... anyways here is another Wei Ying POV

I swear there's no more secret secrets or mystery left to write. (this is as much my brain can come up with)

Chapter 30: Tell tale of deities

Notes:

This chapter is shorter than intended, I got worked up writing another fic :"3

At the farthest corner of northern lands there are streams of mountains. Among the greenery of all mountains there is a land of deities dressed in immaculate white. The deities, once in a while, come down to the mortal realm to wash away the misery of common folks. Legends say, if your eyes fall upon them your upcoming days will be blessed with happiness.

This is what the common folks of Gusu like to weave in tea house after tea house. They love to claim the Lan disciples as deities sent by heavens, unparalleled to the beings of the mortal world. And Wei Ying may or may not have a hand in this tangle of nonsensical mess. 

In his defense, he didn't say all Lan disciples living in Cloud recesses are deities, nor did he say catching a glimpse of one of them will be a blessing. He simply told the boatsman that the second jade of Lan was no less than a heaven sent deity. He simply said his days are made better when he gets to see him. 

Now, who knew the boatsman would exaggerate and spread the tale like a sacred tale. 

He actually knew. 

Anyhow, that is the new reason why everyone, well almost everyone in Cloud recesses was angry at him. They didn't even ask Wei Ying whether or not he did something. 

"I went to town to buy new beddings and everyone was staring at me." Lan Zirui complained, still abashed with the roll of new bed sheets in his arms. "Wuxian, fix this." 

'Fix this' he demanded. As if Wei Ying was a mighty magician who could fix everything with a snap of his fingers.

"Okay what's so bad about people admiring your looks?" He laughed, handing a sleeping Yawen to his father. 

"I have a wife for that. I do not need people's eyes on me." handing him a pack of what felt like charcoal sticks he adds, "Those who are more uncomfortable than me are refusing to leave Cloud recesses. Such as, your dear friend, give this to him." 

The rumors about deity and blessings will die in a week, there's nothing he can do. But it's a big problem if Lan Zhan just refuses to go out, he even asked Lan Zirui to buy charcoal sticks for him. Which is really not a daily occurrence, Lan Zhan doesn't like to ask for help with simple tasks. 

Wei Ying knows that Lan Zhan doesn't like it when people stare at him. Being 'the second best sought out bachelor' is not a child's play. On top of that Wei Ying had added spice to the soup and made things harder for the poor boy. 

"Lan Zhan." He sang-song the name like magpies do in summer and Lan Zhan spins around to look at him wholly. Despite being in mid training, Lan Zhan gives him his full attention and it always makes Wei Ying giddy with delight. He has no idea what to do with the giddiness except for slinging himself around his neck.  "You could ask me to buy them for you." 

Carefully taking the package from his hands Lan Zhan replies with gruff, "People are staring harder." 

Harder than necessary.

Wei Ying winces at his anger but ends up laughing at the end. "I mean, I could go. I don't mind if people stare at me." 

"I mind."

"I know you mind when people stare at us foolishly." He slides out of Lan Zhan's shoulder giving him space to turn and instruct the juniors to continue self training. "Next time, just ask me, okay?" 

Lan Zhan replied to him with nothing but a slow blink, which is not a yes or a no but a sarcastic 'whatever'. 

 

"You have misunderstood." atop his head Wuming says. Always ready to hand over his wise opinion. Sometimes they don't make sense. Like this certain one. 

"Bother to explain to me, oh wise one?" 

"When he said "I mind" he didn't mean he minds people staring at him." 

"Then?" Wei Ying scoffs.

"He minds that people stare at you." 

This time Wei Ying snorts. "Nonsense." He takes his stance to train the juniors beside Lan Zhan, not bothering to hear whatever Wuming has to say. 

Because, Why would Lan Zhan mind people staring at him? Unfiltered stares come along with the gift of being 'the third best sought out bachelor'. Lan Zhan knows it better, with personal experience and so on. It has been quite a few months since the new list came out. Wei Ying had been really disappointed that people didn't make Lan Zhan place first, all thanks to a certain older brother. Lan Xichen has conquered  the first place after he came out of age. And it doesn't look like he's going to be degraded from his place anytime soon, not until he marries. If Lan Zhan smiled as often as Lan Xichen did he is sure he'd have won the 'bet' with Wen Chao. He really wanted to know what kind of tantrum Wen Chao threw each year he failed to enlist. 

But the faces of people when they heard Wei Ying placed third among them….well, shocked would be a similar word to the faces they made. Honestly, he doesn't mind. He, himself, was shocked. 

Of course Wei Ying knows he is good looking, his looks are compatible, his face lacks nothing except status. 

The ward of Lan Qiren, an orphan child, a son of a servant beating all the sect heirs, placing third was not an easy pill to swallow. 

It's not like anyone had a hand in the list. People find Wei Ying more good looking than the rich heirs and that's not his fault. He was born with this face. 

Ladies sought out their hand for marriage, their father's sends marriage proposals in ostentatious letters, and they get gifts often on the roads, because of their face. 

As thrilling as that sounded, it annoys him sometimes. He can't exactly tell why. 

It's just a stupid list where people are ranked by their looks and status. It's the most stupid thing to ever exists after Su She. 

You can't just want to marry someone for their looks.  He wants to tell the young ladies every time they coo over their faces, especially when they coo over Jin Zixuan. Good looks is all he has. Why not check out his arrogant personality, or how he treats women. How he treats his fiancee. Hell, why is he even on the list? How is he a bachelor? He has a bride ready for him, he is engaged. He should only care about what his fiancee thinks of him. Does he not understand that it hurts Jiang Yanli. 

No, she never told Wei Ying that she was hurt. But Wei Ying doesn't have to be told every word to understand what she felt. 

"Er-Shixiong wait!" the junior he was training gasped, falling on the ground. 

He got lost in his thoughts, had started fighting back with force. 

"Oops. Sorry." He nervously laughed, helping his shidi back on his feet. 

"What were you thinking? You told me to attack and then you suddenly started attacking back." 

"Always be prepared for a surprise attack." He solemnly stated instead of accepting his fault.

But of course his missteps are always caught by one pair of golden eyes. Two pairs of golden eyes actually! Wuming lets his mistakes slide like they never existed (until he is going to bed)  but Lan Zhan doesn't. 

"Wei Ying?" Lan Zhan asks with a hint of concern. 

"My apologies Da-Shixiong." Wei Ying bows in an exaggerated manner, "This one forgot he was on the defense stance." 

When Lan Zhan huffs along with a bunch of juniors giggling at his show, Wei Ying runs up to him saying, "Let's spar,Lan Zhan. My body is going to explode if I don't fight." 

And they spar, giving their juniors the excuse of 'watch-and-learn'. Yes, they both know they're more 'watch-and-enjoy'ing rather than 'watch-and-learn'ing. But they'll have to make do. 

Sparing with Lan Zhan is one of the blissful moments of his life. When he spars with Lan Zhan his attention never diverges to random thoughts. His focus is always fixed on Lan Zhan and his fierce golden orbs. Qi dances through his meridians with every move. Suibian chimes with excitement every time it clashes with Bichen. Sometimes he thinks he can spend his whole life sparing with Lan Zhan. 

It's silly. 

But he likes the feeling of it.

 

*

 

With his duties and tight schedule Wei Ying barely gets the time to practice the sword forms his Shishu had taught him. He had learnt the form a long time ago, but had he perfected it? No.

Wuming says otherwise, but he always has some otherwise opinions. 

However Wei Ying thinks it's high time he calls himself a master of 'Cranes first flight'. Lan Zhan has been asking if he had mastered the forms yet ever since Wei Ying promised to show him. He wanted to show Lan Zhan as fast as he could. He wanted to ask his Shishu to check for mistakes, but he couldn't meet him last year when he was in Qinghe. 

 

Why is it called Cranes first flight anyways? Why couldn't it be called Cranes last flight, for the dramatics. 

 

"Here?" Lan Zhan asked, side glancing at the edge of the waterfall. 

"It's the best place. The wind always sweeps leaves in my direction." 

He needs the leaves to prove that he has mastered the forms, neatly cleaved leaves with no sense of sight, relying on his auditory senses and the friction of air. He had tied up his eyes with his ponytail's ribbon, letting his hair loose, to prove that he was not cheating. He placed Wuming on top of Lan Zhan's head just in case Lan Zhan doubts that he was helping Wei Ying. Wei Ying knows he has nothing to prove to Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan will not doubt, still he wanted to show off his skills.

Baoshan Sanren's  sword form is no different than Lan sword forms. If the Lan sword form is like flowing water, Baoshan Sanren's sword form is like blowing wind. Neither are easy to catch. 

The forms depend highly on his senses, how he feels the wind hit his skin, how he hears dust particles hitting each other. All of it is a practiced move now. 

When he untied his blindfold he was met with Lan Zhan's awe struck eye's . Big, bright and an emotion he can't name. The knowledge that Lan Zhan had his eyes on him the whole time makes him warm and at times like this, too hot. He doesn't know how to describe this feeling. 

"How was it?" he says to fill up the stretched silence. 

"Wonderful as always." Wuming answers instead. Wei Ying gave him a look because he didn't ask Wuming, he knew what the reptile would say. Which is always full of praises he doesn't mind. But he wants to know what Lan Zhan thinks of his skills. He wants Lan Zhan to praise him.

"Good." Lan Zhan murmurs in a low raspy tone, still staring with unblinking eyes.

"Just good?" he teases to divert his attention from the raspy tone, he'll think about it later, and hope not to dream of it.

Lan Zhan clears his throat saying, "I think I understand why the form is called Cranes first flight." 

"Oh really?" 

"When you move, your draping sleeves arches like a crane's wing and your body twists in the same manner." 

Wei Ying wonders how exactly his body twisted for Lan Zhan to mention it like that.

"You shouldn't…" Lan Zhan trails off, averting his gaze to the waterfall, his ears slightly pink. Again, just what did he do to make Lan Zhan embarrassed. "You shouldn't use this form during fights. Mixing sword forms are not allowed." 

He knows very well that mixing sword forms isn't allowed and is considered an insult to the master. Hell, even learning a different sword form than the affiliated sect is usually not permitted. He's lucky that Shufu allowed him, considering the knowledge as his family heritage.

Lan Zhan didn't had to remind him. Regardless he says nothing of the matter saying, "I'd like to check if I can fight with an opponent." He sits beside Lan Zhan, getting him to look at him again. "Lan Zhan, won't help me?" 

"Blindfolded?" 

"Yes, blindfolded. I don't want to accidentally open my eyes." 

Lan Zhan quietly considers the deal, it didn't look like he was going to say yes.

"Please, Lan Zhan. Please please please please please." 

"All right." 

"Yay!" he exclaims, wrapping the boy in a tight hug. "You're the best!" 

"In return," Lan Zhan shifts to look at him, "I have a place I want to go, will you come along."

It's extremely rare for Lan Zhan to ask him for something in return. He looked so vulnerable asking as if Wei Ying would ever reject his request. If Wei Ying could, he'd hand over the moon to Lan Zhan if he ever asked.

He huffs, finding Lan Zhan's nervousness adorable. Resting his elbows on Lan Zhan's shoulder he leans forward and says,"If it's you,I'd come along to the ends of the world, in the most brutal battlefields." 

Lan Zhan's nervousness melts with a small tug of his lips. "Nothing of that sort." 

"Then?" 

"Surprise." 

Lan Zhan is good, the best in every aspect. If Wei Ying had to point out one of Lan Zhan's flaws, he'd find none. Regardless, making him wait till he loses his patience is one of Lan Zhan's cruel personalities. Wei Ying will not be able to sleep peacefully without knowing where Lan Zhan wants to go, where he is going to take him. He was annoyingly cruel like that. 

Notes:

Wei Ying: *blindfolded, lose hair, basically dancing with a sowrd* I'm showing off my skills :^)
Lan Zhan: kink unlocked:- blindfold
and then,,, Wei Ying continued to torture him with blind fold sparring
next chapter will be wangxian date ♡

Chapter 31: Rose tint and fireworks

Notes:

A not-date date

It was a week before mid-autumn that Lan Zhan revealed that they were going to Meishan. Why Lan Zhan wanted to go to Meishan was not clearly known to Wei Ying. They've cleared their schedule, requested day offs and set out for the journey without any condemnation. He doesn't ask why Lan Xichen was so happy about them leaving or dumping their work on him, sometimes he's wired that way.

With the harvest festival going smoothly there was no need for extra hands, they were free to enjoy the week, though they must return on the festival day.

Meishan being far away from Gusu, they departed for their journey by ship instead of maneuvering their sword. 

They were not the only ones who were on the boat. Fortunately or unfortunately, there were these other passengers who happened to love gossiping. They have to spend two days and one night in the ship hearing the people  talk non-stop and Wei Ying can already feel Lan Zhan's patience thinning. Wei Ying wondered what important task that Lan Zhan has in Meishan that requires them to save spiritual energy. "You'll see." was Lan Zhan's answer when he asked. 

 

*

 

"That's right, I also heard the Jins are holding an auspicious banquet too." one young lady cheered. She was near their age, together with her friend. By their attire they looked like daughters of rich households. Wei Ying doesn't really eavesdrop, he hasn't been. He was enjoying the view of the river, commenting on the fish he saw jumping, minding his own business. The mention of Jin clan caught his attention and he could break a rule here and there. It's not like the girl was being any quiet. And Wei Ying had his reason to listen to the gossip, Shijie was joining that banquet. Wei Ying had told her of his plans with Lan Zhan for mid-autumn  and asked what plans she had this year. She told him about the banquet and her busy time preparing for it. It sounded like she wasn't looking forward to the banquet, but she didn't say why. She doesn't describe a lot in her texts, and Wei Ying isn't one to push. Although he likes to talk with Jiang Yanli, he only texts her at special occasions such as new year and mid-autumn festival. Jiang Yanli rarely takes the initiative to text him first, whereas Jiang Cheng never bothers. 

"I heard Jin Gongzi is going to be in the moon viewing ceremony." The other girl cooed. 

"I wish I could see him." 

It was not new that girls were crazy to have a look at Jin Zixuan. They treated him like a celebrity, a rare piece of gem. It fueled Jin Zixuan's pride. Who's going to tell him he was nothing more than just looks, his fame was brought by his fathers money. Someone should. 

All being said, they are literally in front of them. Lan Zhan is sitting before their eyes. The second best looking boy is at arm reach and all they care about is Jin Zixuan?

Wei Ying carefully doesn't roll his eyes. 

 

"You know, that Jiang's young miss is joining him." The girl whined in a lamenting tone, indicating that it should have been her.

Now that Jiang Yanli was the subject of their conversation, Wei Ying turned bodily to hear them, not even trying to be subtle. 

"She's lucky their mothers are sworn sisters." 

"Had they not been sworn sisters she could never be betrothed with him." 

"Yeah, with her looks-" 

"What about her looks?" Wei Ying intruded without a second thought. He'll assign himself for punishment later but he can not let Jiang Yanli's name be besmirched in front of him. "I couldn't help but hear your conversation." He tried to smile apologetically through his furry. Ignoring Lan Zhan's warning gazes, he adds, "You may have been talking low of the Jiang caln's young miss, Jiang Yanli?" 

The girls frowned at his constraint, clearly grumpy. "Yeah, so what?" 

"I believe what you are saying is highly biased. Miss Jiang's looks are nothing compared to Jin Zixuan. You are spreading false information." 

He hasn't seen Jiang Yanli ever since his first time attending a Jin banquet. He doesn't know how she looks now. When she came out of age, she was ranked eighth among young female cultivators. And somehow her rank never rose. Regardless, Wei Ying knows all of those are false. She is beautiful in all aspects, he doesn't understand why people can't see that.

"Is that so?" the one with the twin buns ebbed her chin. "How can you be so sure that your opinion on her is not 'highly biased'?" 

Wei Ying didn't expect to be questioned back. Generally people waste their breath to answer the questions he asks. "I believe I'm not biased, anyone with eyes can see Miss Jiang's beauty." He says as a matter of fact. 

"Even with that ugly scar of hers?" the one with braids asked. 

"What scar?" He narrowed his eyes. No one ever mentioned about any scar. 

"Oh don't you know? The young miss of Jiang is rumored to have an ugly scar on her face." The girl with the twin bun sneered. "People say, she was attacked by her own spiritual whip. How weak she is to be attacked by the weapon she was supposed to master!" 

Jiang Yanli was bestowed with her grandmother's spiritual whip, She e. It was a family heirloom she earned like her mother did with Zidian. Her whip is as phenomenal as Zidian, a bracelet resembling a white snake that turns into a whip with blade-like sharp edges. 

What do these luxuriate girls know about the hardship of earning a family heirloom? What do they know about Jiang Yanli?

"Learning to control a whip is hundred times harder than learning to control a sword." 

"Wei Ying enough." 

Lan Zhan stops him with a stern warning. Wei Ying's poorly concealed anger couldn't be hidden from Lan Zhan's watchful eyes. In truth, Wei Ying deserves to be punished with plank twenty times for letting baseless anger consume him, to heed the words of people who have no knowledge of cultivational hardship. 

"Young master seems to like her a lot." the two giggled with mischief, making him more angry.

"What is there to dislike about her?" 

As he said that the two young ladies coo'ed in union. Wuming huffed and tapped him two times, telling him to change the topic. Wei Ying doesn't know what he said to make Wuming think they are heading towards an unsafe route, he still obeys. 

Who wants to talk to them anyways.

 

Two days passed too slowly, Wei Ying ended up bickering with the two girls more than thrice, all for their arrogance. One of them being unaware of who the second jade was. They had the second jade sitting in front of them, yet they couldn't tell. 

"I heard the second jade is a cheerful boy with big smiles." one of them stated. That was when Wei Ying understood that all their knowledge of the Cultivational world was mixed up, full of faults. He tried to correct them more than once, but with Lan Zhan giving him grumpy glares he decided to leave them be.

 

*

 

When they reached Meishan, Lan Zhan headed directly to an inn, booking one room for them. At first Wei Ying thought the city would be crowded for the upcoming mid-autumn festival. Who would have guessed the roads would be jam packed with an ongoing festival. The buildings were decorated with colorful lanterns, cravens and carts full of decorations and shopkeepers shouting at the top of their lungs. 

Why were they there? Lan Zhan hates crowds and noise.

Lan Zhan by his side looked distracted, as if he was looking for someone. He had his hand wrapped around his hips, pressing him closer for if Wei Ying bumps into anyone. The crowd was not bothering him, the noise didn't make his eyes squint.

He noticed Lan Zhan's eyes light up as he found what he was looking for. Wei Ying followed his line of sight and there, under a big bush of pink bougainvillea tree awaited Mianmian. 

Of course. Of course it has to be Mianmian. 

Why else would Lan Zhan walk into the chaos of humans if not for Mianmian. Mianmian was dressed in her usual pink sect robes but her face was tinged with make-up making her face look too bright. With Mianmian's effort and Lan Zhan's enthusiasm, Wei Ying could come up to one conclusion. 

They are on a date.

Wei Ying was being a third wheel.

"Lan er-gongzi, Wei Wuxian." she greeted with a friendly smile. 

Over the course of time, they became good friends. Although their sects are distant they keep connection with each other thanks to the stupid talisman Wei Ying created. Mianmian doesn't talk a lot, most of their conversations revolved around the books they were reading. That being said, Wei Ying doesn't read a lot of novels or stories, there was very little Wei Ying could talk through texts. On the other hand, Lan Zhan doesn't talk with a lot of people, but he does with her. Him having interest in literature, Mianmian talks with him more. 

They text each other of their favorite books, current reads, interesting discussion about the characters, favorite quotes and lines. 

Whatever Lan Zhan says, it's obvious he enjoys her company. 

 

"Too much, wipe." Wei Ying catches up to their conversation at Lan Zhan straight forward comment. He's usually polite.

"But I worked so hard on this." Mianmian whines checking her face on a pocket mirror. "Wei Wuxian, do you think it's too much?" 

Wei Ying can't tell them he got lost in his thoughts or that he wasn't paying attention to know what they have been talking about. What was 'too much' Wei Ying had no idea.

"The makeover." Wuming provided. 

Thank goodness he has Wuming, what would he do without him.

"It's good." He cheers with a thumbs up.

Wei Ying has zero knowledge in make-up stuff, he never thought it was needed to learn. He knows about rouge powders and lip paints and that was enough. 

For instance Mianmian has used bright red lip paints, and red rouge around her eye lids. It's too attractive with all the intention of attracting someone. Will that someone be the second jade? 

"Not good. Wipe them off." Lan Zhan insisted. Is Lan Zhan well versed in the knowledge of cosmetics? Did he learn it because of Mianmian? Does he like her that much?

 

    Knowing the faith of yuanyang ducks 

   Oh wonderful was such faith

   Acceptance rained, they looked brilliant 

  Behind my cot I prayed, live together till death 

“Wei Wuxian, what are you thinking?” Mianmian asked, pulling him out of his thoughts again. He’s thinking too much for a day. Why was he thinking of a heartbroken poem? Oh Lan Ann, guide him.

“I was thinking of a poem.” He cheerfully answered. 

“Oh what poem?” 

He can tell her the truth. She wouldn't understand the underlying sorrow at one read. It took him three readings and his teacher's guidance to understand the narrative of the poem. He can tell her the truth, but that would mean, telling Lan Zhan as well. Lan Zhan knew about the poem, disliked it wholeheartedly. If Wei Ying says he was thinking of the poem he dutifully avoided, he'll inquire for reasons. And reasons are… he doesn't know what those reasons are and definitely doesn't want to think about it. Instead he says,

“ Green green the river side grass. Long, long.. ..” 

“You’re teasing me again.” She whined, acting offended. Teasing her is always fun, after Lan Zhan of course. Lan Zhan gestures something to her with his eyes and Mianmian blushes averting her gaze. How close they are now, to have secret ways for communication. Wei Ying can’t tell why it’s getting harder to breathe. The crowd is to blame, perhaps. 

Luckily Mianmian takes them to a two storey inn where they reserved a table near the window, perfect view of the town. Mianmian sits across them, on the opposite side where Lan Zhan and her are face to face. He’s intruding on them, he knows, but he can’t make himself walk away with a flimsy excuse. They haven’t told him to go away or to give them privacy. If they do, he’ll go back to their inn room and cry his heart out. 

“Him?” Lan Zhan says peeking through the window. His eyes narrowed with judgment. Being curious, Wei Ying hovers over and looks for whoever Lan Zhan was judging. “The person on the third stall.” Lan Zhan informs.

The third stall was full of garments, jewelleries, fancy fans and other products he can't name. The stall owner was dealing with a customer. "Locked, what is his crime?" 

Lan Zhan huffs and Mianmian groans. What did he say to get two different reactions at once? Was the man not a criminal? Why else would they be spying? Why else would Lan Zhan look at someone with strong judgmental eyes? 

"Not the man, the boy beside him." Lan Zhan informs while Mianmian hides behind her hands. Did the boy offended her in a way? However, looking at the boy didn't make him doubt he'd.  The boy was their age, sharp cut face, soft built body,  average looking. He didn't look cocky enough to offend a cultivator woman. But you can't tell just by looks. While Mianmian was not as strong as them, she is a cultivator nevertheless. One push with enough  spiritual energy and he was done for.

"The merchant boy she always talks about." Lan Zhan whispers in his ears.

"What merchant boy?" Wei Ying immediately responded without thinking twice. Lan Zhan was whispering in his ears, what could he do, think rationally? No.

"She didn't tell you?" 

"I did. Wei Wuxian, think." Mianmian inelegantly yells. Her face was as red as the rouge she used. What was causing the reaction, heat? no way. 

Come to think of it, she did talk about a merchant boy, on more than one occasion. Wei Ying didn't put much thought on it. A merchant boy was a merchant boy, what was so special about him. Except for the fact that he has a penchant for books like her. 

Oh.

"Mianmian! don't tell me!" He shouted as elegantly as a donkey.

"Mn. She likes him." Lan Zhan smugly adds. 

"Lan Zhan, you knew?" 

"Asked her."

Lan Zhan asked? and Mianmian just told him? He glanced at her still in disbelief. He had so many questions in his head, none of them were making sense. 

"More like he caught me red handed. And I couldn't lie." Mianmian pouted.

"Who else knows?"

"Just you two." 

"Not even your sect sisters?" 

"Do you think they'll let me see the light of the day if I tell them about liking a mere merchant?" 

That was a good reason. While Mianmian is also a warded disciple like him, her sect wont allow her to marry an average merchant. If the merchant boy was a little rich or something that would be different. On top of that, the guy was a commoner, non-cultivator. Cultivators live for hundreds and hundreds of years, while people without a golden core withers away by the age of ninety. That was the reason why Lan Zirui's marriage was controversial in Cloud recesses. He was too young to understand back then. But to stay alive young and healthy while your wife ages with sickness and passes away years too soon, it's...  It's a nightmare for him. 

"Mianmain, are you sure?" he can't help but ask. She sensed his tension and what he meant by being sure. Her red tinge fades away with pale sadness. 

"I haven't thought that far." she fakes a laugh like Wei Ying does whenever he is sad. "I don't even know his name. All I know is that he is kind and we have the same interests. I'm not sure how my liking for him will end." 

"You think your feelings will fade away?" Lan Zhan sternly asks. He sounded mad at Mianmian or maybe he was also sad for her. Wei Ying couldn't tell anymore. All this time he thought Lan Zhan liked Mianmian. And now Lan Zhan was happily showing the guy Mianmian likes, getting angry at her for being unsure of her feelings and Wei Ying hates himself for feeling happy at a moment like this.

"I didn't say they'll fade, it's just… I don't know if he likes me back or if it'll ever be possible for me." 

Lan Zhan raises a brow sarcastically. His impassiveness tells Wei Ying that this isn't the first time they had this kind of talk. It makes Mianmian chuckle, blush raising on her cheeks again. 

"All right, I'm sorry." She giggles looking at them with a fond-ish look. Discarding whatever thought she was on she pulls out a small box saying, "Tell me which one should I apply." 

The box opens into a pallet of color pigments of different shades. It varies from pink to red and Wei Ying feels too dumb for not being able to help her out. Lan Zhan however, is a genius pointing to a pastel rose shade. Watching her mirror she puts on the powder on her cheeks with a cotton puff. In a blink the powder blends on her skin like it was never there giving her a permanent blush. She looked cute in a different kind of way. Wei Ying wondered how Lan Zhan would look if he put on the same shade of pinks. 

Because his body works before his mind, his hands snatches the extra puff Mianmian had and dabs on the powder and later on Lan Zhan's cheeks. Lan Zhan stared at him unsurprised with two big pink dots on his cheeks. He looks like those dolls little girls play with. Wei Ying couldn't help but laugh over his cuteness. He wanted to squish his cheeks until they were naturally red. 

"Ridiculous." Lan Zhan huffed with fake anger.

"Wei Wuxian, blend it like I did." Mianmian shows him the motions for blending. Wei Ying, being a quick learner, follows her instructions with ease. Lan Zhan is a quiet and poise boy, even if he disliked something he'd quietly wait for Wei Ying to finish what he was doing. Though, Lan Zhan doesn't look like he disliked having make-up applied to his face. He stared at Wei Ying while Wei Ying struggled to focus on Lan Zhan's cheeks. Wei Ying lightly held his chin to have a better angle. He noticed the way Lan Zhan's ears reddened, matching the shade of the powder he's blending. Mianmian hands him a stick with black looking paint at the tip of what she called kohl. With her careful instructions Wei Ying lined Lan Zhan's  eyelids, having Lan Zhan's light golden pupils fixed on him. 

They have been closer than this before, but something about this made his heart pound.  

Lan Zhan is a natural beauty. He had pale skin as smooth as jade. He never needed beauty products to enhance his beauty. As true as that was, beauty products sure did the magic. If Lan Zhan was beautiful without makeup he's completely ethereal with them on. With lined eyes emphasizing his golden eyes and rose pink adoring Lan Zhan's pale complex he looked like the god of beauty. Any more enhancing and Wei Ying might die out of heart palpitation. 

Wei Ying was not the only one who was enchanted by Lan Zhan's beauty. Everyone near them dubiously stared at the beautiful boy beside him. "Ah, Lan Zhan you've the spotline now." He joked and hoped to calm his heart.

"Then Wei Ying should have rouge on him too." 

"No no no no no no." Wei Ying absolutely  can not do that. It was one thing for him to touch Lan Zhan-because he is shameless- but it's completely different to have Lan Zhan touching him like that. Holding his chin, making him stare at his face, it felt too intimate all of a sudden. And it's all Mianmian's romance novels fault. 

"Wei Ying would look pretty." Wuming says, making him more embarrassed than he already was. It doesn't help that Wuming sounds a lot like Lan Zhan. 

"We shouldn't waste Mianmian's makeup on ourselves. And Mianmian is here to meet her secret crush, we should be cheering for her." 

*

They eat and wait for the older man, who is the father of the boy, to leave. When the boy was left alone in his stall  Mianmian got set for her goal while they cheered her from the window. That was the first time Wei Ying saw a blushing maiden in action. The way she batted her eyes, tucked her hair behind her ear, shyly smiled every time she asked for something's price. Only one word repeated in his head.

Shameless!

Whatever she was doing was ten times more shameless than whatever Wei Ying has been doing for years. He never thought someone as quiet as Mianmian would approach a boy first. 

"It's always the quiet ones, Wei-Xiong." Nie Huaisang was right. He doesn't want it to be true for Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan batting his eyelashes while blushing, seducing girls here and there? No! Wei Ying will not let that happen. 

Mianmian's plan to allure the merchant boy gets sabotaged by non other than one of her sect's sister. She pulls her away to another stall, without knowing what she just did. Mianmian subtly gives them an apologetic look, following the other girl with a fake smile. 

"Do you think the boy likes her back?" he asks, setting back to their seats. His side pressed against Lan Zhan's. 

"Not sure." 

"So…. uh…" he isn't sure if he should ask this, but whatever. "You don't like Mianmian?" 

The glare he gets is one thing, but then Lan Zhan leans closer pulling his ears. His eyelash brushes against Wei Ying's cheek as he loudly whispers in his ears, "I do not like Mianmian." 

Every inch of his body shivers at the ticklish feeling of Lan Zhan's breath over his ear lobe. He violently rubs his ear and laughs it out as an apology saying it was a joke. 

It was not a joke, he was very serious. It was too embarrassing to admit. 

Lan Zhan doesn't like Mianmian. So who does he like? What makes Lan Zhan so attracted to poems for yearning and discomfort over the heartbroken ones.

 

*

 

He learns that it was Mianmian who told Lan Zhan about the festival there.  Lan Zhan was not there for Mianmian, but for the festive shows.

"Wei Ying said he wanted to see fireworks." Lan Zhan had said.

Lan Zhan had brought him all the way to Meishan from Gusu to show him a firework show. All because Wei Ying once whined how he never got to see fireworks from Cloud recesses. All because Wei Ying wanted to see a fancy firework display. 

It makes him so giddy that he jumps on Lan Zhan on the spot to hug him like he had never done before. 

They stay awake past nine till the firework show starts. Walking from stall to stall, buying mooncakes, dumplings,sweet and spicy snacks, fancy lanterns and whatever caught Wei Ying's eyes. Lan Zhan pays for most of them. It's not like Wei Ying doesn't have money on him, he has no reason to ask Lan Zhan for money. He does regardless, Lan Zhan gives him without question. 

The firework display had been pulled out of a fantasy book. It was bright and colorful, loud but captivating. He squealed and giggled every time a new firework lit the sky. He was so ecstatic that he could squeeze the lights out of Lan Zhan.

 

*

 

"Did you enjoy?" Lan Zhan asked him while  getting ready for bed, adjusting their blankets. Wei Ying jumped on it, ruining his hard work with delight. 

"Are you kidding me? It was the best day ever." 

They get to their comfortable space, tucking the blanket up to their chin. Meishan's autumn  is nothing near the cold of Gusu's autumn. He loves it when nature grows cold, he gets the excuse sneaking in the Jingshi to cuddle Lan Zhan more. Despite not feeling that cold he still wraps his limbs around Lan Zhan and Lan Zhan accepts his fate without protesting. 

"Happy birthday." Lan Zhan says in a hushed tone, like a precious secret. He was facing the ceiling giving Wei Ying a full view of his warm pink ears. 

It was for his birthday. 

A birthday gift.

"Lan Zhan, my birthday has weeks to come, it's still mid-autumn." He laughs through the hammering in his chest. He won't be able to sleep if this continues.

"An advance birthday present." Lan Zhan turns to face him. He smiled softly at Wei Ying and Wei Ying had the shameless urge to kiss that smile. 

He decides against it. 

Tucking his face further near the crook of Lan Zhan's neck he mumbles,"Thankyou for bringing me here." 

"No need." 

Lan Zhan never replies with an 'your welcome' he always says the same two words 'No need.' As if it was not needed to let Lan Zhan know how much he appreciates Lan Zhan and the things he does. "It is needed, I am grateful to have a friend like you. I want you to know." 

"No need to be grateful. I want to give Wei Ying what he wants. For as long as Wei Ying lets me." 

Stupid! Stupid guy! What did Wei Ying do to deserve this punishment? His heart was gonna explode. He was sure Lan Zhan could feel the rapid heartbeats with how close they were. His face felt too warm for an autumn cold night. He wanted to jump in the cold spring. 

By the time Wei Ying could comprehend for a response it felt too late. At the end he pretended to be asleep just to avoid meeting Lan Zhan's mesmerizing eyes.

Notes:

Wei Ying now knows Lan Zhan doesn't like Mianmian!!!!!!!
Baby steps
Lan Zhan may or may not think Wei Ying has a crush on Jiang Yanli.

Mianmian on her way to win her husband. Man he was so handsome in the Manhua version.

For Jiang Yanli's spiritual tool
Shé (蛇) = snake
è (锷) = sharp edge

Chapter 32: Reunion

Notes:

We're so back (ง'̀-'́)ง
Can't promise being regular but we're so back (ง'̀v'́)ง

Ample clouds delicately woven across skyline 

Sunrays reflect from the lakes of Biling 

Vibrant hue of azure waters and youthful spring.

I linger, watching a youth clothed in pristine white silk,

Guqin gently held on his arms,

cared as an infant child of his. 

My eyes drift upwards 

to where sunbeams kiss his cheek.

Have I been the sun

I too would kiss his-

 

Wei Wuxian's mind dived in the ditch once again, and once again Wei Wuxian scolded himself for it.Shameless insolent child.

This isn't how he was brought up as, it's not what he was taught. 

Lately he kept having unkempt thoughts, indecent when it came to his zijhi, his best friend of a lifetime. There seems to be no end to his desire to kiss Lan Zhan. It's something that comes with age, or what Wuming said. But it's wrong, right? To want to kiss your best friend, to have indecent desires for him. 

“Wei-xiong, pull it!” one of his friends shouted. “Pull it!” He repeated, and by his annoyed look, it's apparent he did not repeat the words for the first time. 

Wei Wuxian quickly pulled the net, catching two water-ghouls. Lan Zhan liberates them with his guqin music, as gracefully as he always does. He sends Wei Wuxian a look, “focus” his eyes say. 

How could one focus with a special occasion upcoming, how could Lan Zhan, his best friend, think Wei  Wuxian could focus on a boring task such as catching water-ghouls with fishnets. Honestly they've caught more fish than ghouls. At this rate he could become a rich fisherman. 

“Compass says there's another at our left” his fellow disciples discuss about their task in hand. 

“Why are there so many water ghouls these days? It's like people are deliberately drowning to muddle the Lan sect's name.” Wei Wuxian whined, mostly to himself, and to the blue long lizard that's been sleeping on his shoulder.  

“Wei-Xiong, we caught another!” His juniors shouts from afar. “This one refuses to be liberated.” 

That catches his attention. A water ghoul that refuses to be liberated is no water ghoul at all. As they gather around to check, Wei Wuxian finds himself correct. What they caught was not a water ghoul, rather a corpse, half corpse to be exact.

“How can a corpse be half corpse?” 

Being asked, Wei Wuxian answers, “Check his pulse, it's running. This person is alive from the inside.” 

Wei Wuxian uttered those words for the first time in his live. He's sure the term “alive from the inside and dead from the outside” didn't even exist before he said what he said. Nevertheless, the half corpse could not be described in any other way. 

“Be precautious, don't touch it with bare hands.” Lan Zhan stops him before he could touch the purple skin of the corpse. He ordered the disciples, “Take it to Cloud recesses. This one is a special case.” 

 

“We're taking an unknown creature just when the guest disciples are going to arrive?” Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but worry. This years guest disciples are mostly sect heirs of major clans. More importantly, Jiang Yanli is going to come. He doesn’t want to lose face after all the big talks with Jiang Yanli. 

“We don't know what this is. And if there are more like this, it's only going to cause a ruckus for one's traveling by boat.” 

Lan Zhan knows how excited he is to finally meet Jiang Yanli after years. If anyone asks for reasons Wei Wuxian would fail to give any. It is just that, Jiang Yanli reminds him of a home he didn’t know he had, of a place he had never been to. 

Perhaps fate was on his side, just as they reached the entrance of Cloud recesses, they were met with a crowd of purple cladded youths. 

“Jiang-Shijie!” He calls for her from feets afar. “You're here.” He couldn’t stop himself from running. Why'd he run for? What would he do once he reached her, Wei Wuxian couldn’t tell, he just knew he had to be near her. 

He almost took her in his arms, almost hugged while the whole crowd stared at him wide eyed. Almost, except a firm hand blocks him with a light jab on his chest. 

“Jiang Wanyin from the Jiang clan is here too.” Says the owner of the hand, a bit annoyed. Then again when is he not annoyed. 

“Jiang Cheng! Long time no see.” Wei Wuxian hugs him instead. It was not reciprocated. He punches Wei Wuxian in the guts, saying, 

“Who's Jiang Cheng? Wei Wuxian, how many times do I have to tell you to call me by my courtesy name.” 

Wei Wuxian ignored him. Jiang Yanli was to his right, a little shorter than the last time he saw her. He has to look down to meet her eyes. Yet, she's grown up to be a wonderful, beautiful woman. If she was not engaged, she could place number one in the most desired bachelorette.  

‘How have you been?” He feels warm as he asks, as she smiles at his question. 

“I'm fine. You've gotten taller.” She adds with her reply.

“You think so? I'm still shorter than Lan Zhan.” He laughs. Mentioning Lan Zhan, he remembered the boy was with him. 

Lan Zhan was standing there from where Wei Wuxian had swifted, a little aloofness in his expression. His fellow disciples were standing behind, carrying a whole adult. He asked the crowd to make way for them. Although the Jiang disciples were concerned watching a white cloth covered body, they knew to shut up. 

“Why don't you come in.” It finally hit Wei Wuxian, the disciples were standing with their luggages, exhausted and worried.

“We lost our invitation letter. Your guards said we can't enter without one.” Said Jiang Cheng, rolling his eyes as if it's the guarding  disciples fault. 

“Send someone to find your invitation.” Lan Zhan suggested.

“Don't joke around now.” Wei Wuxian knows he was not joking but still, he doesn't want people to think Lan Zhan is as cold as the rumors make him out to be. “He's joking. You can pass through the gates,” he pushes Jiang Cheng to the spelled gates.  “Don't worry I'm here.” He nullified the spell  around the gates for the Jiang disciples. Besides the spell was to withhold enemies, the Jiang disciples are..  well, Jiang disciples. 

 

For some reason, Lan Zhan did not look pleased with it. He leads Jiang Cheng to meet with the Lan sect leader and Lan grand master. Meanwhile Wei Wuxian tagged along with Jiang Yanli to her guest room.

Jiang Yanli chuckled, “I thought boys aren't allowed in girls dorms, aren't there strict rules about it.” 

“There is, but I, Wei Wuxian, is the only exception.” 

“Why's that?”

“Here, I am considered one of the girls.” 

It makes her laugh. She shows where to put her luggage so they could finally chat.

“I did as you taught,” she shows him a small pot, covered with a smell blocking talisman. As the lid opens, steam blows out and the smell of her lotus root soup covers the room. 

He was about the age of five when he first had the taste of Jiang Yanli's lotus root soup. He can't recall the taste, however he remembers the feeling of eating home cooked meals for the first time in a long while. Back then, her cooking felt like a warm blanket of love. Years later, the feeling had not changed. Her meals felt like returning home, to where he had lived for an eternity. 

It's a weird feeling, but a good kind of weird.

No amount of praise could be ever enough for how amazing Jiang Yanli is. 

 

“Keep this pot too, I made extra.” She handed him an extra pot of soup as he was about to head out. “Careful, don't spill.” 

Wei Wuxian did not have the heart to say no to her. He plans to share this with Lan Zhan during dinner. Though he's going to be mad that, an outsider bought outside food that included pork ribs. He's always mad about bringing junk food inside Cloud recesses. Not that Wei Wuxian can't cure his madness. Some of his friends even joke that, Wei Wuxian is the only cure for Lan-er-gongzi's infuriation. 

 

“You really are one of the girls,” an unfamiliar voice calls. 

“Wen Qing!” 

The owner of the voice, Wen Qing smiled at him with sarcasm at the edge. “That look of yours, as though a newly wedded bride thinking of her husband.” 

Wuming snorted at her comment.

“Whatever happened to hello, or simple greetings?” 

“Greetings, Young master Wei,” she bowed, practiced with manners. “My brother has been looking for you.” She doesn't wait for Wei Wuxian's greetings.  

Wen Ning was there too. It's been so long, yet the boy has managed to reserve a place in Wei Wuxian's heart. “I'll meet him.” 

“Oh, keep this.” She hands him a talisman paper, similar to his copying talisman. “I fixed it.” 

Wei Wuxian didn't need to check to believe her. For unknown reasons, Wei Wuxian knows he can trust her with theoretical skills. “You're a genius, I'm forced to admit.” 

“Sure I am.” 

She is one of a kind. 

 

Depending on pure instinct he searches for Wen Ning. The boy was not in his guest rooms, nor in the common halls. He found him at the brink of the northern waterfalls, practicing his archery. 

“You've improved a lot.” Wei Wuxian says instead of a mandatory greeting. He felt like greetings will only build a wall of forced formalism, which he doesn't want in between him and Wen Ning. 

“Wei-gege!” 

Right, Wen Ning calls him Wei-gege. Wei Wuxian told him to address him as Wei gege, even though they are almost the same age. The boy offered him a hug, and why would Wei Wuxian ever decline a hug from a sweet kid like Wen Ning. 

“I have been waiting to see you.” The sweet little boy says. 

“I searched for you everywhere. You should have waited in your room.” 

“I wanted to meet you at the place where we met for the first time.” 

“Eh?” As sweet as Wen Ning was, he sometimes didn't make any sense. 

“I mean, I wanted to meet you here.” 

“That's odd.” Wei Wuxian laughed “But you know it is a nice place to meet your old friends.” 

 

What was supposed to be a quick meeting became a whole life catch up. They talked about their new hobbies, skills, and what they did and did not. Unlike Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian had not had a communication talisman linked with Wen Ning. At that time, he did not give it a thought. Even so, somehow, it's easier to be friends with Wen Ning, like they've known each other for a good part of their lives. 

 

“Wei Ying,” a white figure loomed above his head.

“Lan Zhan! What brings you here.” Wei Wuxian should not have said that. He looked angrier than before.  

“You have more important duties.” Lan Zhan says, giving a pointing look at Suibian. 

“It's practice session already?” 

Wei Wuxian lost track of time, so yeah Lan Zhan had reasons to be mad at him. Though he had  no reason to look so angry that it's scary. 

“Be quick.” He marched off without waiting for him. 

 

“What's up with him?” He mumbled.

“Beats me.” Wuming replied, though he sounded like he knew but wanted Wei Wuxian to figure it out himself. 

Tch..

Notes:

Kinda unbelievable how one year has passed since my last update, a lot of you have moved on from this fandom.. I'm sorry I couldn’t finish it earlier, but I do hope I can finish this before 2025....
If you're reading this, thankyou♡♡♡♡♡

Chapter 33: Blending with jades and Golds

Notes:

I'm baffled by the feedback I got from last chapter ToT
Y'all so nice T^T

I'll try to update new chapters as soon as possible

Spring breeze brings a peculiar sort of joy in people's hearts. Wei Wuxian is  no different to that rule. 

But guess who is? 

Lan Zhan, Lan Wangji, Lan er gongzi. 

“Lan Zhan, please.” Wei Wuxian requested for the thirteenth time. “If you attend the guest lectures, I can attend too.” 

There was no such given condition. However, with Wei Wuxian's status he can't get the confidence to attend a lecture only clan heirs were supposed to attend. But if Lan Zhan did, he'd at least have his greatest source of confidence by his side. 

 

“We finished their curriculum years ago. I don't want to.” 

 

Lan Zhan did not enjoy the soup as much as Wei Wuxian expected. Dining with Lan Zhan never tasted bitter, until that day.  

Hasten, fastened, he cleaned up his table.  Leaving Wei Wuxian alone for the time being. Who was he to force Lan Zhan when he didn't listen to his own father, uncle and brother's advice. 

“You can make friends with the sect heirs.” They suggested him only for Lan Zhan to disregard it as unnecessary. 

Fine, not like Wei Wuxian was going to die if he didn’t attend the boring lectures. He could always catch up with his friends in their free time, except their schedules never matched, but whatever. 

Whatever.

Wuming wasn't there to make him feel okay about it either. He doesn’t accompany Wei Wuxian during dinner these days. He should enjoy his time with his friend, Wuming said. He said, Wei Wuxian will be fine. 

Whatever happens to life, he'll be okay. 

Perhaps….

Suibian was placed on his knees. “If you win,” Lan Zhan says baring bichen as it shines a sapphire glow, “we'll attend together.” 

Wei Wuxian's lips tugged to a smirk, baring his teeth as his evil plan executed successfully. Wei Wuxian was wrong to be proud of what he could make Lan Zhan do. 

After disregarding his own family and blood, Lan Zhan could not win in front of Wei Wuxian's downcasted smile. 

Wei Wuxian unsheathed suibian as agate glow compete with bichen's sapphire ones. 

“As we always do?” he asked, stomach tingling with excitement.

“As we always do.” Lan Zhan smiled back, as cocky as he could get, yet astonishingly sweet.

 

It'll be nine in an hour. According to the rules, they must get their rest. According to their regulations they shouldn't be sparring after dinner. 

But Wei Wuxian defied all accordance, followed by Lan Zhan's cautiousness. 

They began their spar in the front yard of jingshi. Full moon as their witness, stars and clouds as their audience. Cool breeze mixed with fragrance of magnolia blossoms cheered, “ may the strongest wins.” 

Puffs of air visible to eyes, as they breathed hot and exuberant but never tired. 

“You know I'm not losing today!” Cheered Wei Wuxian as he advanced his blows, one after one.

“Fight isn't over yet,” Lan Zhan tackled all his attacks.

Their conditions are simple, whoever hits the ground first, loses. 

Throughout his life, Wei Wuxian has won three hundred and forty four times during sparring sessions. Beating Lan Zhan who only won three hundred and forty one times as they spar. 

In the midst of his unnecessary calculations, he lost grip in his sword. Suibian dropped to one corner, leaving him unarmed. 

Not allowed to call back his sword, he resorts to free hand fighting. 

As an honorable cultivator, Lan Zhan dropped his own sword as he started attacking. Wei Wuxian tackled. When it came to physical strength, they were almost equal.

Almost…

Bless the Lan clan blood, Wei Wuxian had a hard time keeping up with Lan Zhan's sturdiness. 

At one point of their fight Wei Wuxian jumped to the roof. Simple, if he's away from the ground he won't hit one, despite being proved wrong several hundred times. 

“You want me to lose so bad?” Wei Wuxian complained as he attempted to kock Lan Zhan by the legs. 

“I simply wish to win.” Lan Zhan memorized the patterns of his attempts to knock him out. 

One hour had passed by an eternity ago, yet they continued to fight. Moon continues to watch over them, shining as bright as day lights. Stars and the clouds were bored out, spring breeze nowhere near. 

A silly mistake, a wrong footing is all it takes for Wei Wuxian to fall off the roof. He falls, bracing his heart to hit the ground, accepting the pain that comes along. 

The pain replaced by a warm hug, he finds himself safe and cared. Beneath his hands is a firm chest as familiar as his own face. He discovers himself wrapped around in the arms of a boy he calls his soulmate. 

“Lan Zhan, are you okay?” 

The boy propped his head, “are you?” Always the worrying one.

Wei Wuxian melts a little, getting comfortable as though he was not laying over a human his size but a warm mattress.“You didn't have to cover me,” 

“You were about to hit your head.” 

“I'd have been fine.” 

“It'd hurt nevertheless.” 

How wonderful it is, to feel protected, to be protected even though he was capable of saving himself. His heart beats a little louder, perhaps the rush of fighting for so long had finally caught up. 

“You know,” he rests his chin on his hand as he smiles his evil smile, the said hand propped on Lan Zhan’s chest. “Saving me, you hit the ground, which means” He pokes the soft flesh of Lan Zhan's chest with a dainty finger, “I won.”   He didn't know why he said the last part as if he was some sort of frolic mistress. But he did what he did and there's no going back anymore. 

“Foul play,” Lan Zhan gruntled looking elsewhere. 

Under the moonrays, his skin glowed like translucent gentians. With their distance being so close Wei Wuxian could see the blood rush in his face, glowing in muted pink. 

“Ayy, Lan Zhan,” he whispered, as if someone would catch them in their secret dalliance. “Let me see your face.” 

Without a single thought he took Lan Zhan's face in his palm, getting their faces even closer. “Your face is so red.” 

Lan Zhan's face could beat sculptures done by the master of  sculptors. As days go by, he grows handsomely into a fine gentleman. The fats of cheeks melting by cruel natural growth, only to be replaced with sharp cheekbones. He can't decide which one's better or which one is worse. 

“Stop.” Lan Zhan let out as hot breath fogged the air.

Belatedly, Wei Wuxian felt a grip on his waist. He was still plastered over Lan Zhan's body. Their positions were nowhere near safe. Lan Zhan's grip on Wei Wuxian's waist was doing nothing but tingling his lower abdomen. 

He wished he were a girl or at least he didn't have a thing that could get pointy at the least ticklish touch. 

He was getting comfortable too. 

Despite his inner turmoil Wei Wuxian sprang himself away. His body shivers at the sudden loss of heat. But at the very least he didn't embarrass himself by accidently penetrating his best friend. He'd rather kill himself. 

“Fine, you win.” Lan Zhan said after an awkward period of silence.

“Yess!” Wei Wuxian jumped in triumph. “Lan Zhan you're the best.” He hugged the boy from his back. 

“See you in the morning.” 

*

 

That morning felt somewhat like a new year. The guest lectures are always full of you noble man and woman of atrocious clan. For Wei Wuxian to even be among one of them is daring. And he has always been daring. Why should he not? Is there anything he has to fear? 

In the sense of knowledge, he can best almost everyone his age. History, society, mathematics, cultivation, ritual and philosophy, every classification of art he had bested his fellows. His birth history didn't pull him down.That is, of course, all thanks to Lan Qiren’s generosity. However, his generosity alone didn't make of what Wei Wuxian is today. 

Today, he won't let the sneers of heirs affect him. He doesn’t care if Jin Zixun frowns at his sight, he doesn't waver if Wen Xu questions his presence or Wen Chao deems him as a street rat. 

Today he greets his friends with the biggest smile he can from. The first to receive his smile is, of course, none other than Lan Zhan. He stands alongside Wei Wuxian as he waits for the people he calls his friends. The first to arrive and the second to greet is, Wen Ning, following with his sister Wen Qing. 

“Thank-you for having us.” They greet Lan Zhan with a resentful bow. 

“I'm the one who wrote those invitations, you should be thanking me.” 

Wen Qing looks amused at Wei Wuxian's memo. “That was your handwriting?” 

“Why is it so hard for you to believe?” 

“I was wondering why the calligraphy was so artistic when the Lan clan follows simplicity.” 

Wei Wuxian spent four weeks writing twenty invitations for the lectures. He knew one of those invitations would reach his friends, he wanted them to be impressed. Some might call it show off but whatever. 

“Are you impressed?” 

She rolled her eyes. Instead of her replied Wen Ning, “I was impressed by your skills.” 

Wei Wuxian is always awed by Wen Ning’s cuteness. “I knew you would.” 

Once they were in the class Lan Zhan asked in a low volume, “Did you want to impress her?” 

“Yeah.” Wei Wuxian answered. “I want everyone to be impressed.”

Somehow, Lan Zhan was not pleased with this. While Wei Wuxian knows this goes against the many many rules and the morals Lan Zhan follows. But just this once, why would it be wrong to want everyone to be impressed by him. Where else can he show his artistic skills.

No sooner than, his eyes fell on the Jiang siblings, always whispering something to each other. 

“Shijie, good morning.” He waved his hands to her. He wants her to be happy to see him as much as he feels happy to see her. 

“A-Xian, good morning.” She says as sweetly as she smells, like lotus and fresh honey, perhaps young tea leaves. Nostalgia crashes over him each time she is near. Why does she feel like a home he had left long ago? Why does her presence alone make him homesick? 

“Oyy! Wei Wuxian!” He gets startled by Jiang Cheng’s shouting, as he hears Lan Zhan remind him of the no shouting rules. 

“Shouting is not allowed but getting lost in thoughts while someone is speaking to you is?” He questions with a hint of bite behind it. 

“My apologies, it's not allowed either. I just-” Wei Wuxian didn't notice he was lost in thoughts, ne never does. He has no excuse to this flaw of his. 

“It's okay A-Xian, shall we head in?” her assurance felt like a soft pat in the head. She has no reason to be so nice to Wei Wuxian. She had enough reason to feel offended when she was the one speaking. 

Lan Zhan holds his hand discreetly as they walk in the classroom, he signs a look, are you fine? Or Something bothering you? 

Wei Wuxian smiles and holds his hand back, assuring, I am fine. Do not worry about me. 

He was seated in the first bench. 

Shufu… 

Wei Wuxian couldn’t fathom the man. As soon as Wei Wuxian informed Lan Qiren that they'd be attending, Lan Qiren assigned the front seat for him, a seat that is directly faced with the lecturer. The lecturer being none other than Lan Qiren, made sure he didn't dilly dally his classes like he always does. 

Lan Zhan was assigned behind him, he couldn’t even side glance his friend. At his side was the unfathomable Jin Zixuan, on the other side was Wen Qing.  He was surrounded by obedient students. 

The man knew Wei Wuxian too well for his own good. 

At the very least he didn't assign him with Su She. Why was he here again? 

 

He wished he was seated by Wen Ning or Nie Huaisang. Speaking of the devil, Nie Huaisang arrives in the hall running like he just woke up. This would be his third year in guest lectures. In those two years he had always been late to the morning class, this year seemed no different. 

What was different though, was the person with him. In the last two years Nie Huaisang was sent alone, his brother didn't allow servants to take care of him. However, something changed as Meng Yao was promoted to being Nie Mingjue's personal assistant. If he was the sect leader's assistant shouldn't he be following the sect leader instead of the sect leader's younger brother. 

Wei Wuxian heard from Nie Huaisang  that Meng Yao would stay the year with him. Reason behind staying was to make sure he studied and not slacking off in his room. 

Wen Xu and Wen Chao, the two are seated at the last row. Wen heirs never attended the lecture, they didn't even allow minor Wen clans to attend even if they wanted to. Why so suddenly attend with minor clan heirs worries him. 

Wuming seated in his usual place, at the top self, to have a clear view of the whole class. It stems from him being a teacher in his life, or so he said. He'd been an amazing teacher, Wei Wuxian just knows it. Or at the very least he was not as boring as Lan Qiren, who started reciting all three thousand rules in the first hour of the class. He does this every year, and every year disciples almost give up living. Poor them.

Wei Wuxian has faced this since the day he came here. By that time, he has memorized the exact note of Lan Qiren’s voice, places where he stops, places where he rubs his goatee and places where he frowns and basically everything. 

The arriving clans represent themselves with lavish, premium gifts to appease the grandmaster. Jin Zixuan from Jin clan, Jiang Yanli from Jiang clan, Nie Huaisang from Nie clan. They saluted with elegance and respect to the master. It was all for show, to keep themselves higher from the other attending clans. Lan Qiren never once used the gifts he got, rather put them in a vault. 

 

What a waste of money, Wei Wuxian pitied in his mind when the Wen clan gifted a box of jewelry. What kind of bird brain do they have to give jewelry of all things to Lan Qiren. Well, with that excuse Wei Wuxian can beg Lan Qiren to try at least one of those fancy jewelleries. 

 

“We shall start our lectures as-” 

“Wait” Wen Xu interrupted Lan Qiren. “All the students here gave their salutes to the master.” He says as if they weren't in the middle of class but a gossip chamber. “Except for one student.” 

Everyone starts whispering. Wei Wuxian doesn't have to hear clearly to know it was about him. And he's grown up enough to not let those whispers bother him. 

“What do you mean, First young master Wen.” 

“You know what I mean. Lan  disciple Su Minshan gave his salute from the Su clan. Wei Wuxian is here, but he didn't salute to you, nor did he represent his family or clan.” 

“He is-” 

“Oh right I completely forgot! He doesn't have one.” Saying so he starts laughing. Being provoked, some other students start laughing as well, one of them being Su She. 

Wei Wuxian warns Lan Zhan with his eyes, not to open his mouth, not to defend him from those dogs. He doesn’t want Qingheng-Jun to see his son bickering with Wens. He is, afterall, sitting behind the privacy screen. 

“Wei Wuxian is my ward, he needs not to. I request master Wen and others refrain themselves from disturbing the peace. Now shall we start-” 

 

The class grows tranquil and silent. Silly old man, calling Wei Wuxian his ward in front of the whole class. How could Wei Wuxian ever repay his debt? 

 

And so the first class ends with gossips to tell, rumors to spread. He expected Lan Qiren or Qingheng-Jun to tell him not to attend the class. His expectations were not met. 

In the evening, when Wei Wuxian went to give Lan Qiren his last pot of tea, he found the two brothers discussing the unusual behavior of Wen clan. 

“Don't get in a fight with the Wens” they both warned.  

It's not like Wei Wuxian was looking for one. 

Notes:

I want to mention that, in every sparring session Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji gets into a "situation" where they almost... almost busts themselves out ♡
It's also the reason why Wuming(older Lan Wangji) stays somewhere far, his bitter heart can't take that much

 

Wei Wuxian: I wanted to impress everyone.
Lan Zhan: you Wanted to impress Wen Qing *jealous*
Wei Wuxian: yeah her too :)
Lan Zhan: *jealous×2*
Mean while Wen Qing= *wondering why second young master looks at her as if he as constipation*

Chapter 34: Phantom scars

Notes:

I am sorry for the small chapters :')

The Lan clan believed in fate, that every interaction one had with another was written in their fate. 

It's delightful in a sense that Wei Wuxian was fated to meet so many wonderful people. To be in a place where he was not supposed to be must be fate as well. 

Attending the guest lectures has been fun so long. That didn't mean he could slack out on his duties as a Lan disciple. He barely has time to have a chat with them. He's only free after evening, only if he's not on night patrol. 

On an auspicious night, he was invited for “tea” with Nie Huaisang and his roommate Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian didn't know the tea Nie Huaisang was talking about was, infact liquor. 

After that incident with Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen, Lan Qiren forbade every liquor seller of Gusu to not sell a drop of liquor to the Lan disciples. That's partly a reason why his fellows hate him. 

However Nie Huaisang was a tactical man, on top of that he wasn't a Lan disciple. He could buy and easily sneak in whatever he wanted. 

“Don't bust us out now, you know you'll be more in trouble than us if you did.” He hated how Wei Wuxian always fell for his petty traps, and how Nie Huaisang could easily black mail him. 

“As long as I'm not busted out.” He deals with the shorter boy. 

“Who knows, after what you did ages ago.” 

“That, was not my fault.” 

“The sect leader of Gusu Lan being punished with his two sons. People might as well write poetry about it.” 

“My sect would have thrown you out if you did that.” Jiang Cheng joked from his bed. 

Wuming hissed from his shoulder. He has a bad habit of getting offended by everything Jiang Cheng says. Wei Wuxian patted the little guy as he fake laughed at Jiang Cheng’s joke. The matter wasn't as big as people made of it. Wei Wuxian didn't commit a crime to be kicked out of a sect. 

“I would have invited Wangji-Xiong too if he wasn't so strict on me. Don't tell me you're upset about him.” 

Wei Wuxian was upset about Jiang Cheng’s apathetic joke. Sure he'd like it better if Lan Zhan was there too. Albeit, he knows inviting Lan Zhan for liquor is inviting death itself. “Enough jokes now, show me the stuff.” 

Two jars of Emperor's smile broke them closer. The liquor tasted ten times better than he remembers. It didn’t taste bitter or too strong. There was a fresh flowery aroma, sweet and mellow at first, strong enough to hit the back of his throat. Have one sip and you'll want another, and another, and another, and there is no end to this desire. 

“They say,” Nie Huaisang mumbled, already half drunk. “The way you like your wine is the way you like your woman.” 

“Bullshit.” Jiang Cheng slammed the table as if Nie Huaisang was accusing him. It made Wei Wuxian snort. He also thought whatever Nie Huaisang said was blasmephy or perhaps such a woman has yet to arrive in his life. He is, after sixteen and too young to worry about the lack of women in his life. He should ask Lan Zhan what sort of liquor he liked, not that he'd be able to tell. 

It was mostly Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian who did the talking, Jiang Cheng would either add one or two curse words to show how he felt. Things got quieter after Nie Huaisang passed out. Jiang Cheng was flushed red, intoxicated by the liquor. He looked as though he was about to pass out but was forcing himself to stay awake. Wei Wuxian on the other hand, had not enough cups of wine to fill his heart. 

“You can sleep now. I'll clean up before I leave.” He drunkenly advised the other boy. 

“Don't pretend to be so good.” The other boy said as a reply. Is it too hard for him to say thankyou for once? 

“A piece of advice,” Jiang Cheng pointed his fingers as if threatening, as threatening as a drunk boy could look. “Stop hanging around my sister. Stop giving her chestnuts, stop giving her pea flowers, stop joking with her, just… just stop being near her you got that! She has a dignity.” 

“Let's get out of here.” Wuming snarled, pulling his ears. There is a reason why he never liked Jiang Cheng. Regardless of how Wuming felt, Wei Wuxian had always wanted to befriend the grumpy looking boy. He could forgive Jiang but for all the painful jabs and cursing because Wei Wuxian knew he didn't mean harm. However forgiving Wei Wuxian is to the Jiang sect heir, he must know that Wei Wuxian as a human has a dignity too. He could not just point a finger and slander him of whatever imaginary story he made up in his head. 

“Is young master Jiang jealous that I didn't give him any presents? My bad, I'll keep it in my mind next time.” 

“I'm being fucking serious! People are gossiping that you are trying to persuade her.” 

“People will always gossip, Jiang Cheng.” 

“A-jie already has enough on her plate.” The strong facade of Jiang Cheng’s face broke down. He was nearly crying as he gulped another cup. “People had been pulling her down from the very first day she held a sword. They can't stand her engagement with Jin Zixuan, they can't stand her owning the Meishan’s Shee. You don't have parents to continuously please but she does!” Saying so, Jiang Cheng slammed his head on the table. He groaned, angry-crying, “Leave her alone.”

 

“Wei Ying?” Wuming nudged against his lower jaw. He sounded so similar to Lan Zhan that he feared it was his best friend calling his name, finding him in this pathetic situation. 

“Let's just leave.” 

He cleaned the tables before as it'd be rude not to. He took a jar half full of wine before leaving.

Being drunk was as if the earth was spinning like a top and Wei Wuxian was dancing on it. He'd be enjoying it had Jiang Cheng not called him out for being an orphan. He did not expect that from Jiang Cheng. 

Bitter is the truth…. 

He wished he could throw out everything in his stomach along with the memories of that night. He wished he could just go to his parents to complain and cry, saying how much it hurts him when  people think he is free to do whatever he wants when in reality it's the exact opposite. 

They'll never understand the frustration of constantly fighting to prove himself good. The anxiety he gets when he does something wrong. The panic in his heart when the elders looked displeasingly at him. The continous fear of not being good enough to be a part of the sect. 

Wei Wuxian believes parents are someone who you don't have to please constantly. Parents, no matter how disappointed they are, won't kick you out in the road to be on your own. If one has their parents, they have nothing to be afraid of. 

If fate allows him to be a parent he'll never become such parents who make their children feel like shit.

 

His vision was blurred by intoxication. Wuming had guided him to the back of the disciple dorm. All he has to do is jump and he'll be in his room. His legs were too heavy to jump above the ground. The earth was engulfing him like quick sand, the two floored wooden buildings looked as tall as mountains. 

He's never drinking three jars at once. 

“Wei Ying?” Wuming's voice reached his ears. He held Wei Wuxian by the wrist, carrying him by the waist as if he were a human. He peered open his eyes to see white ribbon tied to an unblemished forehead with a displesnt frown. 

“Lan Zhan.” He panicked out of this trance only to find himself in his room. As far as his tipsy brain could recall, Lan Zhan was not supposed to be on night patrol. “You knew!” 

“Yes.”

“And you didn't stop me?”

“I wish I did.” 

He sounded awfully angry at Wei Wuxian for the state he is in. He hates seeing his fuddy duddy friend being extra fuddy duddy. 

“Aiyaa Lan Zhan, don't be mad at this poor one.” He wanted to lean on his shoulder as he always did but his liquor filled body failed to balance, resulting in him resting his head on Lan Zhan’s chest. He won't say it was bad, he needs to rest his spinning head. 

“You reek of alcohol,” 

“Mn, three jars.”

“Three!” He sounds funny when he's surprised. It makes Wei Wuxian giggle. 

“Two and a half if you want me to be precise.” 

“Why were you crying?”

“Was I?” 

“Mn.” 

“Can't remember.” 

“Be honest.” 

Wei Wuxian would love to be honest. But he was in no state to speak. His head hurt, his heart hurt, he wanted to do nothing but sleep. 

“Don't be so loud, my head hurts.” He whined, lightly thwacking Lan Zhan's chest.  

He feels Lan Zhan heaving a long inhale. It's one of those days when Wei Wuxian felt too much to bare the slightest humm. During those days Lan Zhan forces him to call in sick, asking the mentors for permission to rest for the day. During those days Lan Zhan manhandled him into doing everything. Be it eating,  cleaning his face, taking whatever medicines the physicians suggested. Same as before, Lan Zhan helped in his bed, taking off the stuffy outer layers of his outfit. He tucked in Wei Wuxian in his bed, as if he was a little baby. Sometimes Wei Wuxian hates himself for always bothering Lan Zhan with extra responsibilities just by existing. He tries his best to repay Lan Zhan by doing the same, caring for him when he's not feeling the best of himself. Even so, the feeling of being in debt never dies. 

“Leaving?” Wei Wuxian tugs Lan Zhan by his sleeves. 

“Mn, I'll wake you up in the morning.” 

“Stay with me tonight.” 

“But…” 

Wei Wuxian was not sober enough to be patient over Lan Zhan's hesitation. “I know my bed is too small for two people. Sleep on top of me, I don't care, I just don't want to be alone today.” 

Sure he had Wuming with him, as a reminder of his parentless existence. He doesn’t hate having him in his life though he wished he were a human rather a divine illusion or whatever he is. He wants a person, his person, he wants to keep in mind that however alone he is, he'll always have this warmth of unconditional care. 

Lan Zhan, his kindest, safest person, doesn't complain about fitting in a small bed made for one. He doesn't inquire into what made Wei Wuxian emotionally drained to behave in such  a way. He is the one he'd trust if the whole world was to backstab him. 

When he woke up, he found himself laid over Lan Zhan's chest. His body atop Lan Zhan's. His first instinct was to run away from Lan Zhan as far as possible. 

How did they end up in a lewd position, was the first question in his head. His groggy memory provided the answers, Too much liquor and a word slipping through the walls around his hurt. Generally, Wei Wuxian doesn't let typical orphan jokes hurt him. Had Jiang Cheng said those words while he was sober Wei Wuxian wouldn't be in this situation. 

“You're awake too early.” Lan Zhan said in that deep morning voice that usually pumps the blood in his heart faster. The boy even dared to put a hand over his waist knowing very well that his waist is extremely sensitive. Not long after did Wei Wuxian realized he was sitting on top of  Lan Zhan's lower abdomen. Another lewd position. Why is every position, a lewd position. He should not have read that erotica. The hand on his waist was a subtle attempt to move Wei Wuxian. He pretended as if he was not embarrassed while getting up like a normal person.  

“How do you feel?” Lan Zhan asked genuinely. 

Wei Wuxian wished he could say “very embarrassed” rather , “Headache, nauseous.” 

Lan Zhan cared for. Sometimes he cared too much. When Wei Wuxian said he could attend the class Lan Zhan would force him in the bed. He had gone his way to notice Lan Qiren of his ‘sudden illness’ getting the permits to stay in bed rest with the head physician prescribing all kinds of bitter medicines. 

Although he could manage the day, he doesn't mind a break, never the extra attention that Lan Zhan gives. 

 

He learns that Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng were bitter over the fact that Wei Wuxian could get to call in sick but they couldn't. 

Sucks to be them.

No one could call it favoritism as it was a privilege Lan disciples always had. And Wei Wuxian was known to have frequent illness due to overstimulation or whatever the physicians called it.

Sucks to be him as well. After that night, Wei Wuxian couldn’t joke around Jiang Yanli as he used to. He gives him pea flowers for her blue tea, yes. He frequently checks up on her guest accommodation. But it was not the same afterwards. 

Lan Zhan noticed the sudden change, he didn't wait to know what happened. He came to the conclusion that being near Jiang Cheng ment trouble for his emotional state. He'd act the same as Wuming does as if they were the same species.

Neither would listen to Wei Wuxian's “Jiang Cheng didn't hurt him, he hurt himself.” 

For some hellingly phenomenon, everyone had a secret beef with Jiang Cheng. Even Wen Ning, the sweetest guy he knows, tries to stay away from him. He even pulls his sister away if she's anywhere near him. 

It seemed as if the only other aloof person was Nie Huaisang, who would gladly keep him company. 

 

Notes:

FYI, I love Jiang Cheng :> he's a little grumpy but he's trying.
If you don't remember Shee is Jiang Yanli's spiritual tool, I made it up :))
Shé (蛇) = snake
è (锷) = sharp edge

Chapter 35: Instinct of past lives, instinct of human hearts

Notes:

It's a Monday winter vacation :>

In philosophy, there is a concept named ‘ Wu Wei’ roughly translated to ‘the art of not trying.’  It teaches humans to accept the flow of the universe and coexist peacefully. Let the universe unfold as it should, let life happen. The more we try the further we drift from our goals, paradoxically vice versa.. 

Of all the philosophical paths, Wei Wuxian fails to follow this one simple rule, “ Don't try too hard.”   Trying hard is all he knows, trying hard is how he earned this destination of his life. He never learned to not try hard. So, when it came to avoiding Jiang Yanli, he tried hard. As according to nature the more he tried to avoid her, the closer she got. He tries not to have any encounter with her, she happens to encounter him. He tries to take walk routes divergent to her, she appears in parallel routes. He tries not to be suspicious, everyone asks if he was doing okay in the head. 

“That's the thing about being a young genius, they're bonkers in the head.” Wei Wuxian accidentally heard the guest disciple from the Yao clan joke. “He even talks to himself.”  He could not call him out as he was bound to his patrolling duties. Why was talking to oneself a stain on his insignificant reputation. He doesn’t understand people with a lot of free time. 

 

Such as Wen Xu and Wen Chao. They've been creating a great hassle for the patrolling disciples. The disciples in duty can't punish them for entering forbidden grounds, Wen brothers won't even stop. It is clear to Lan masters they are looking for something in the cloud recesses, and there is no doubt it is the Yin iron piece. Doubts are not enough to press the Wen clan about their probing. They need evidence and Wen Xu makes sure not to have any. Wei Wuxian is in conundrum, he likes Wen Ning and Wen Qing but dislikes Wen Xu and Wen Chao, he can't say all Wens are vexed. 

Speak of the devil, Wei Wuxian faces Wen Qing ahead on the path. No doubt she has an aurora of a virago with how she glared at Wei Wuxian.

She took one step toward Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian knows it's time to run backwards. 

“Why are you running?” Wuming asked the obvious.

“Just look at her and ask yourself.” Looking back was a mistake for his poor heart. Not only her cold expression makes her look scary but her red robes and painted nails makes her look as one of those vengeful brides hunting souls of innocents. 

“Wei Wuxian, why are you running?” She asked as Wei Wuxian shrieked out of fear. 

“Why are you chasing me?” 

“Stop at once.” 

Wei Wuxian thinks he wouldn't dare to stop at twice. Running is forbidden unless danger. And Wei Wuxian was in danger. Wen Qing is shorter in height, weaker in strength. If she was to grab him, he would easily overpower her, if logistically thought. Morally, he won't fight with a woman without a good reason. However, what worked in Wei Wuxian's heart was not logistic or morality rather there was instinct. 

“Wen Qing, angry, run.” Three words makes a set, creates an unknown impulse of running. Running not out of pure fear but out of mischief and a little fun. 

 

Sharp needles pass across his peripheral view. Wen Qing was a physician with long distance fighting capabilities. She could throw needles dipped and poison and win at an instant brute battle. 

“You missed!” He wanted to tease and the very next thing he knew he was limp on the ground. 

 

Her goal was to drag Wei Wuxian to the northern waterfalls near the female disciples yard. Near the waterfalls was Jiang Yanli, perched on a rock, meditating. 

“Beg for her forgiveness.” Wen Qing says pulling Wei Wuxian by the ear. 

“But what did I do?” 

“Acting innocent now? You've been avoiding her like plague. She's hurt. She thinks she did something wrong.” 

It became apparent, while Wei Wuxian was dying to save her reputation, he overlooked her hurtful eyes. He promised Wen Qing he'll kneel till he deems himself forgiven, she needed not to survey. 

 

The northern waterfalls were colder than the southern waterfall Wei Wuxian frequents. Mist covers the grounds making them look like floating on the ground. It is a perfect place for meditation and spiritual connection. Being here, the muted humm of chenqing fades to oblivion. 

 

Jiang Yanli jolted at Wei Wuxian's sudden presence. When she saw that it was just him and no one else, she took a sigh of relief. “A-Xian, long time no see.” 

Wei Wuxian waved awkwardly, “I….” He didn't know what to say or where to begin. Of course, he was not going to say Jiang Cheng commanded him not to be near her. Having no other idea, Wei Wuxian did as he promised. Kneeling on the rocks he bowed to the lady before him. Keeping his head as low as possible he says, “Forgive this foolish one for hurting you.” 

“Aiya A-Xian! What are you doing.” She jumped from the rock she was meditating to stop Wei Wuxian from lowering his head. “Don't do this to me.” 

“I deserve to be punished for how I made you feel.” He tried to lower his gaze out of respect. Being the bigger person, Jiang Yanli wouldn't let him. She'd cup Wei Wuxian's face with her gentle hands, she'd smile similar to the goddess of kindness and she'd speak the language of deities. 

“Xianxian is just three. How come he hurt me?” 

And Wei Wuxian would be dazzled, he'd wonder what he did to be blessed by her kindness with mouth agape. He'd laugh, head tipping backwards, till it hurt his stomach, till his eyes teared up. He'd marvel at her gentle presence bringing peace from heaven to earth. 

“Yes, Xiamxian is just three!” 

 

–

 

She knew what hurt Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng confessed his “sins” to her, he's too embarrassed to apologize directly. She knew why Wei Wuxian was avoiding her yet she approached him, disregarding her uncertain reputation. 

“It's not like I've got much of a reputation to begin with.” She jokes as if Wei Wuxian was going to agree. 

“Jiejie! You know that's not true.” He wished he could hug her and shake her to show how much it pains Wei Wuxian to hear that from her mouth. They sat side by side on the rock she was meditating. From this closer Wei Wuxian could see the infamous scar everyone points finger at. It's nearly invisible, matched with her pale skin. Yet people have the audacity to call it a stain on her beauty. If it was asked to Wei Wuxian, he'd say the scar enhanced her charm, showing she could be cruel as much as she is kind.

“Perhaps…” 

“No! No! No ‘perhaps’ it is true. You're really amazing. I envy you.” 

“Now, A-Xian is exaggerating.” 

“Exaggerating words aren't allowed.” 

Jiang Yanli chuckled, gazing at her spiritual bracelet. The bracelet dangles on her wrist, the skin of a white snake matching her pale skin. The amethyst eyes of the snake head stands out amongst the white, alluring its enemies with enchantment. 

“We had a spar today, with other female disciples.” She speaks, fixing her gaze on her wrist. “I was put up against the young mistress of Qin. And guess who won.” 

By her sad smile Wei Wuxian could tell she was not the winner. Yet he asked, “You?” 

“You already know the real answer, why lie, isn't that prohibited?” 

He shook his head in denial, “And beside, one loss is enough to prove your strength.” 

“I'm not sad that I lost. The fact that I lost control of Shee once again makes me depressed.” 

“Lost control?” he asks bewildered. “Does this happen frequently?” 

Jiang Yanli nodded. It was not common for spiritual tools to go against their masters' will. There have been such cases, though with superior class tools, and they are rare in history. Other than that, a cultivator might fail to control their tools if they were inadequate. Wei Wuxian doubts most people disregard her problem, thinking her unfitting of the tool. He refuses to believe that was the case. However docile she may look, her core was undoubtedly strong for her age, she has the will to be stronger, she has everything one needs to maneuver spiritual tools. 

Then why? 

“Have you ever tried connecting with its spirit?” He asks. 

When Jiang Yanli looked confused at Wei Wuxian's question, he knew no one ever suggested this to her. 

Connecting to a spiritual tool's spirit was a hard nut to crack, it's obvious why no one would suggest the hard path. And Wei Wuxian loved a challenge here and there. He taught her how one could have a conversation with spirits, how they needed to be clear minded for the process to succeed. 

“It's dangerous, Wei Ying.” Wuming reminded him with a warning nudge. 

I'll be okay, Wei Wuxian hopes he conveyed his message.

 

He pulled out Chenqing from his sleeves to play the melody of connection. Shee doesn't respond to his call at first try. He gave it a second try with more force on his spiritual flow. He could feel himself sweat though North waterfalls were known for its chill air. 

“Heed to my call” Wei Wuxian commanded. The buzz of Chenqing returned as waves crashed on land. It tranquilized the melody with its faint humm.  “Heed my call, Shee.” 

“Ask.”   He heard a deep voice of a woman. 

He knocked his knees with Jiang Yanli's as a way to signal her to take over. He had to keep playing his tune with eyes shut, there was no other way but to jab her a little. He hopes Jiang Yanli will forgive him for the disrespectful behavior. 

“ It's me, Jiang Yanli. Grand daughter of your previous mas-” 

“Did you come all the way to introduce?” 

Sesh, talk about having an attitude. 

“I-umm… I'd like to request you to follow my commands more.” 

“Request denied.” 

“She's your master.”  Wei Wuxian had to butt in the space for her. He knows it'll cause more exhaustion but he couldn't bear its attitude. “You are obliged to accept her request.” 

“She is not supposed to be my master.” 

It baffles them. Shee tells them about the existence of other universes. In every other universe, Shee gets buried with her first and only master which is Meishan’s leader, Jiang Yanli's grandmother. “This universe was changed by external force.” The spirit says with vehemence in her tone. The so-called external force changed the fate of many spirits in the spiritual realm. The chaos caused by this force had op

The white snake is all but loyal to her master. She chose one master and shall remain loyal to one. She had mixed feelings when Wei Wuxian pointed out that it was her master who chose Jiang Yanli to be the next owner.

“Prove your loyalty to me.” The spirit declared to Jiang Yanli before fading into oblivion. 

Wei Wuxian let's his lungs rest as their minds return back to their bodies trying not to show his fatigue. 

“How do I prove my loyalty to a spirit?”  She ponders over the declaration. 

“I think there is a scroll about it in the library. I'll bring it to you!” 

Wei Wuxian jumped to his feet before Jiang Yanli could catch on. He doesn’t wait for her to follow, he can't let her know the procedure almost nil down his spiritual flow or that Wei Wuxian was close to Qi deviation. 

“Running will make it worse.” 

“What else can I do-” 

Like the hero of every story, Lan Zhan shows up to save him from his distress. As if his soul knew his mate needed his help. Lan Zhan rushed to Wei Wuxian as Wei Wuxian rushed to him,Falling into his open arms. 

“What happened?” 

“I-” Wei Wuxian felt the heaviness in his heart, his chest  heaved to breathe properly, failing to answer his soulmate.

“You abandoned your patrolling duty. And I find you here.” 

By ‘here’ Lan Zhan meant the grounds near the female disciples' courtyard. He looked angry about it, perhaps thinking Wei Wuxian was flirting with the ladies again and got chased by the senior sisters. 

“I swear it's not what you're thinking.” He couldn’t help his lips from smiling. How could he not smile when Lan Zhan was there, saving him like the heroic prince he is. The unspoken reassurance that Lan Zhan will save him makes Wei Wuxian giddy inside, although he felt like death was whispering near his ears. 

“Your pulse is low? Lan Zhan looked at him with such genuine concern that Wei Wuxian failed to stop himself from hugging the boy. 

“Talk later, take me home.” With whatever energy left in him, he murmured the words near Lan Zhan's ear. Home, he said not know which home he was talking about. The room he resides in could not be called home. The whole cloud recesses was his home but that was not an appropriate option. Home was where he felt safe and cozy. And by the passage of time, home became Lan Zhan's arms. 

Take me Home, Wei Wuxian said, knowing he was already in his home. 

Home was soft bed, warm blankets, and a sun beam passing through the windows, home smelled like sandalwood and peony. Home was named Jingshi.

Fuzzy warmth rushed through his dantians, different yet as familiar as his own Qi. 

Wei Wuxian didn't have to open his eyes to know where he was in, who he was with. For as long as he can remember, things have been the same. Lan Zhan lit sandalwood incense whenever Wei Wuxian was bummed out in his bed. During the late spring he'd pick out peonies from the tree Wei Wuxian gifted him on his fourteenth birthday. He'll place the flower vase on the bedside window, where breeze carries in the fragrance of outside world. 

Peaceful, home was peaceful.

He felt the corner of his lips tug upwards. He felt a thumb-Lan Zhan's thumb- rub and press the flesh of his lower lips as Wei Wuxian smiled. The warmth of Lan Zhan's thumb and the pruriency of the act perplexed Wei Wuxian body and mind.

He gasped, shooting his eyes open and wide, to find Lan Zhan just as surprised as him. 

“You're awake,” Lan Zhan asked, uncertain as to what to do.

Not knowing what to answer Wei Wuxian says, “Can you call someone to deliver the Connection with spiritual tool's scroll to Young mistress Jiang?” 

“Mn.” Nodding so, Lan Zhan dashed out of the Jingshi. 

Alone in the big house Wei Wuxian gazed at the ceiling as one gazed at stars. 

What just happened- replayed in his head constantly. 

One moment Wei Wuxian was smiling and the next moment Lan Zhan was pressing his lips, and the very next moment lewd thoughts filled Wei Wuxian's mind. 

He pressed his own lips, the place where Lan Zhan's thumb rubbed tingled as though he lathered red pepper paste instead of essential oils. His own thoughts flustered him. 

Wei Wuxian thought about kissing the thumb as it pressed his soft flesh. He thought about licking the tip of his thumb as one licks popsicles. He thought how Lan Zhan would react if he took his thumb in his mouth, wrapped his tongue and sucked it. 

Would he be flustered? Would his ever pale face be adorned with red and pink? Would sweat twinkle on his forehead like beads? How'd he sound if Wei Wuxian…  

He couldn’t continue thinking any further. His body grew hotter with each thought and he had to roll on the bed to stop himself. What was he doing? Screaming on Lan Zhan’s pillow while imagining himself being intimate with him. 

He is a disgrace as a zijhi. He shouldn't be having such thoughts about his best friend.

He drowned himself in the cold pond- not literally- but if anyone looked for him he could be found there for the rest of the day.

Notes:

Wen Qing and Wei Wuxian relationship is just that one meme
Wen Qing: why are you running, why are you running
Wei Wuxian: *screaming for his life* aaaaaaAaaarraaaggg

*
Lan Zhan: *Thinking Wei Wuxian is smiling in his sleep* cute~ *Prees lip* oh no I want to kiss him!
Wei Wuxian: *seduced* oh no I want to kiss him!
Both panicking: I'm turning evil!!! *drowns themselves in separate cold ponds*
(I think CR has many caves with cold pond for privacy purpose)

Chapter 36: Answers and misunderstandings

Notes:

I know I said I'd start writing after my semester finals, I didn't expect to get summer vacations but here I am. I hope this little chapter brings a little smile to your little face :>

Lot of the times Wei Wuxian had been impulsive.  His impulse has always been controlled by others. Most of the time Wuming is successful in gently warning him of the consequences, stopping him from jumping into action. When Wuming fails to make sense to him Lan Zhan stops him if not with warnings then physically binding him, holding him. That doesn't mean Wei Wuxian is stoppable. 

Curiosity gets the best of him. If he doesn't quench his thirst for answers he might lose his mind. 

Lan Zhan's word's echo in his head clearly, “Do not do this again.” Yet he played the melody of spiritual connection. He requested Chenqing's spirit to answer his call. Playing the unbroken melody twice in a week already weakened his qi. Wei Wuxian feared not, cared not.

Chenqing's distant hum buzzed like swarming bees. Just as Wei Wuxian thought his call was answered the buzzing bees attacked him like locusts plague. In his consciousness he felt his body being eaten by hundreds of termites. He felt himself scream in agony. He heard his agony echo back with anguished cries of tortured souls. 

“Leave” Wei Wuxian heard a voice before his lungs gave up. 

Chenqing fell from his hands, rolling towards the bed. From the bed Wuming wagged his tail in disappointment. He hides his concerns saying, “I told you it's not safe.” 

Wei Wuxian had rolled on back still trying to catch his breath from that horrific nightmare. Bathed in sweat he had no desire to listen to another round of Wuming's lectures. He ignored whatever Wuming was saying and focused on Chenqing's lean structure. A black dizi made out of expensive rock. Sunlight passed from the window and fell on its dark body. Chenqing does not reflect sunlight as it should, it never did. Nothing about Chenqing was out of the ordinary, yet nothing about Chenqing could be called ordinary.

His teachers could not answer why he could hear Chenqing's spirit humming all the time. Shufu could not tell why the green nephrite he chose turned jet black with one tuning. 

Now, he can't tell why Chenqing rejected his request with such frightening hostility. 

“I am…” Wei Wuxian huffed out to himself, “really bad with rejections.” 

“That you are.” Wuming agreed. “Sometimes you have to accept some rejections.”

“Yeah…” Wei Wuxian stared at his ceiling, tracing the same old wooden patterns. He doesn’t reveal what kind of rejection he faced from Chenqing. And the blue lizard almost looked too happy to watch Wei Wuxian give up on spiritual connections. “Yeah but that doesn't mean I can't try with something else.” 

“Wait Wei Ying no-” Wuming repeated the same old crap and Wei Wuxian ignored him like always does.

 

In his next attempt he tried connecting with Suibian's spirit. The attempt was deemed to be successful just as Wei Wuxian wanted. His consciousness submerged in dark yet calm water.  In this spiritual nothingness an youthful voice echoed, “Master!” 

“Suibian?” 

“You really are a thing you know. After all those shit you- My goodness! I don't even know what to say! It's the first time this is happening. Wait, can you even see me? I'm waving my hands! How many fingers are there?” 

Wei Wuxian's previous two experiences with two other spirits had given him a good scare. He really thought all spirits are high held celestial beings having no regards for lowly humans. Suibian was….. different. 

“Uh… I don't think I can see you.” 

“Aiyaa- damn it! I even fixed my clothing style for you. Bichen-da said you'd be disappointed if you saw me dressed up as a beggar. Well, guess I have to remind him he's not the smartest out there.”

Wei Wuxian forgot what he was there for and asked, “You know Bichen!?” 

“Of course I do! We are practically- oh wait he told me not to tell you that. ”

At the back of his mind Wei Wuxian knows it is not what he should be concerned about, yet he whined.“No you have to tell me!” 

Suibian whined back,“I can't, he'll be really grumpy if I do!” 

“But I am your master.” 

“Master Wei,” huffing a small laughter, Suibian said in a calm voice. Wei Wuxian felt his cold subconsciousness being covered with warmth. “Of course you're my sole Master.” 

The mood between the two youths shifted with sudden nostalgia. Wei Wuxian fixed his attention back,“Right, I was here for something.” 

“I know what you wanted to ask.” The youthful voice of Suibian grew deeper in resonance as if it was not a young boy but a man who's lived for a long period of life. “By the decree of the heavenly realm we spirits are  not allowed to answer certain questions. However,” his voice shifted back to a young boy as he said, “Sheé was too rude. She's still bitter for having a different Master around this time. It's not like a spirit will always have the same Master in every universe.” 

“Yes about that-”

“Except for me, you know. I'd rather seal myself than having to obey any other man than you.” 

The admission that Suibian is loyal to him and him only makes Wei Wuxian feel giddy with joy. 

“So my dear master,” that voice of a man reached his ears with resigned defeat. The voice said, “Take care of yourself and your golden core. It hurts me to watch you being hurt and helpless. So I hope in this universe, you can prosper in every aspect. Don't be disheartened by what others say, don't be too giving either. I wish to serve you in your highs and in your lows as well.” 

Then again Wei Wuxian felt himself covered in fuzz and cotton. He felt like being wrapped in a heavy warm blanket like the nobles of Jianghu. “You can't stay here any longer. Go now, have fun.” The same youthful voice echoed as cheerfully as Wei Wuxian returned back to his senses. 

Wei Wuxian fell on four as he panted for breath. He uses his remaining strength to lie on his back, trying to regulate his breath. 

“You've been gone for long.” Wumings voice rings in his head. “How was it?” 

Wei Wuxian would love to answer if he was not feeling like death. His lower stomach felt like someone punched quite a good amount of times, his eyes stung like someone had sprayed lemon zest in them and everything felt awful. 

“Wei Ying! You're bleeding?”

“shit- what?” Wei Wuxian sprang up finding out red blood dripping from his nostrils. “Shit- shit- what do I do?” He cursed trying to stop himself from bleeding.

“Go to the infirmary, now!” 

Wuming gives obvious instructions. If Wei Wuxian had the strength to seek professional help he'd have done that ages ago. His head whirled and throbbed like his veins were going to burst if he moved too much. He forced himself to roll around to one of the wooden walls.Afternoons are not busy for duty bound disciples.  Most spend their break time strolling out with friends. The dorms are mostly empty around the time.

“Shixiong” Wei Wuxian called knocking at the walls. As much as he disliked asking for help, Wei Wuxian would rather get busted than be found dead.

“Why at this time- Oh god Wuxian what in the world happened!” yelled his most supportive senior brother Li Young. The man carried Wei Wuxian on his back in his sorry state. He was panic stricken to his shidi losing consciousness in his arms, mumbling something Wei Wuxian's clouded mind could not decipher. 

Wei Wuxian knew the risk he was taking. He didn’t think the consequences would be this bad. 

 

*

 

Waking up, Wei Wuxian found himself in a very familiar infirmary. The first thing he asks after opening his eyes is, “How long have I been out?” 

“Half an hour or so.” Wuming answers for him. 

From his side he hears a young woman's voice say, “You've been out for three days.” 

“Lying is forbidden.” Wei Wuxian recites before checking who it was. The young woman turned out to be Wen Qing, preparing a batch of medicines. “What are you doing here?” Wei Wuxian asked.

“If you are so interested in quizzes,” The angry voice of Lan Meihua sends shivers down his spine, “Why don't you answer my questions first.” 

There is no denying that Wei Wuxian is a regular patient in the infirmary. He is a real disturbance to the head physician. Despite the amount of times he annoys the woman, she never really made Wei Wuxian feel unwelcomed or hated. She showed genuine worry over Wei Wuxian's sudden consciousness.  Wei Wuxian tried avoiding her questions by saying his nose bleeds were for being stressed out and definitely not for whatever she was thinking.

“Then,what made you be so close to Qi deviation?” Lan Meihua raised a brow, so did Wen Qing. The two scary women glared at him from two sides making Wei Wuxian even more nervous. 

“I…” Wei Wuxian tried to find an excuse without lying, “I tried a spell I thought I would be able to pull off. But as you can see my calculations were wrong.” 

In the end the head physician saved him from the trouble of answering questions. She knew Wei Wuxian was exactly  the type of person to be a victim of such complications. 

“Can you keep this a secret?” Wei Wuxian meekly requested. 

“I'm sure by this time the whole cloud recesses knows you fainted while bleeding through your nose. Quite the friends you have.” 

As much as Wei Wuxian loved his senior brother Li Young, he wished the guy was a little less caring and a little less loud.

“What about her, though?”Wei Wuxian asks when Wen Qing silently glared, handing over a concoction of herbs to digest. 

The head physician huffed at their silent fight. She tells him her assistant Lan Baiyu is out of the town, and Wen Qing asked if she could work under her for the time being.  Lan Meihua does not take disciples. She does not teach students unless strictly asked to. So it was  a surprise that she took  Wen Qing under her tutelage.

“She can work, I don't mind another set of skilled hands. And if she learns by watching, that's her business.”  Lan Meihua says. Wei Wuxian believed if Wen Qing was a part of Lan sect she'd be her favorite disciple. 

 

The head physician leaves the infirmary, leaving Wei Wuxian in Wen Qing’s care. Wen Qing, though near his age, checks up on his dantians as skillfully as a head physician of years of experience. 

“Is it because of the spiritual connection spell?” Wen Qing asks as she checks his pulse. 

“So, you knew?” Wei Wuxian guessed Jiang Yanli told her about it.

“That other day, Lan er gongzi came to ask for medicines for similar symptoms. So I guessed it was for you. I didn't think the spell would cause a late reaction like this.” 

“Well,” Wei Wuxian can't tell her that he tried the same risky spell two days in a row. “Maybe I'm strong enough to fight against the quicker reactions.’ 

Wen Qing rolls her eyes, “You sure do know how to use that three inch tongue of yours.” 

“I'm an expert in using my silver tongue.” Wei Wuxian smirked, showing her his so-called three-inch-tongue. The moment just had to be exactly when Lan Zhan walked in. There was nothing wrong about him walking in when Wei Wuxian was bickering with Wen Qing, rather he was glad to see his friend. Lan Zhan, however, was not happy. It was understable that he'd be mad at Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian was prepared to meet with Lan Zhan's wrath. His ears were perked up to hear whatever lecture Lan Zhan was about to give. He'd planned to bear the naggings with sealed lips so that later he could share everything he discovered with his interaction with Suibian.

His expectations didn't not meet. Lan Zhan, as soon as he walked in the room, saw Wei Wuxian enthusiastically arguing with Wen Qing, took a deep breath and walked out. 

Lan Zhan disappeared just as soon as he appeared, like he was never even there. 

“What are you doing?” Wen Qing yelled, pulling him.

Wei Wuxian didn't notice when he jumped out of his bed to go after Lan Zhan. His body wanted to catch up to the boy before his mind could comprehend what had happened. Wei Wuxian was about to follow Lan Zhan out if not for Wen Qing. 

“Your pulse rate is still low, your qi is no good either. You can't just start running.” with great ease Wen Qing shoved him back to his bed. Little did Wei Wuxian realize how weak his body was before Wen Qing pushed him. 

“But Lan Zhan-” Wei Wuxian still tried to move his body.

“I'll go call him if it's important.” Wen Qing assured him.

“Listen to her.” Wuming says, “Prioritize your health.” 

They did not understand what Wei Wuxian was feeling. His health was a priority, sure. But Lan Zhan just left without saying a word to him. His best friend who cares about him saw him sick on a bed and just left. Wei Wuxian has had to make a bigger mistake than he initially thought he did. Or else Lan Zhan wouldn't have left without as much as a glance. 

“Don't move.” Wen Qing says pushing his acupuncture points. Her trick disables Wei Wuxian to move his limbs,  leaving him paralyzed like a  worm. She leaves the hall ordering him to meditate his Qi. 

Physician Mei returns to check up on his paralyzed body. Under her eyes Wei Wuxian could not find any other way to reach Lan Zhan. He followed whatever orders he was given; meditation, herb consumption and what not. 

He was discharged from the physician's care after sunset. It was almost dinner time and Lan Zhan had yet to met Wei Wuxian. According to Wen Qing his best friend did show worry over him, told her to take care of him, yet did not come to pick him up. That was unusual of Lan Zhan. Even with minor injuries, Lan Zhan had always picked him up from the infirmary. He'd walk Wei Wuxian to his dorm room, if the injury was major he'd take Wei Wuxian to Jingshi to have dinner with him and  sleep over. 

And, now all of a sudden his best friend is absent when Wei Wuxian was craving for his care. Sure, Lan Zhan is a busy guy, but he's never been that busy to leave Wei Wuxian alone and helpless. 

Wei Wuxian feared something had happened to Lan Zhan for him to be absent. He didn’t believe Lan Zhan's sudden absence was intentional. 

On his way to meet Lan Zhan to the Jingshi, he met Lan Xichen. 

“Wuxian, I was on my way to you.” The older boy says with examining eyes. “How are you feeling now?” 

“All healthy!” Wei Wuxian cheered diminishing his desire to ask of Lan Zhan.

“Sorry I couldn't come by to check.” Lan Xichen says instead of mentioning anything about his younger brother. He gets into his usual small talk about his busy day and sect heir duties and etcetera. He updates Wei Wuxian on the undead corpse which apparently is a big discovery. Wei Wuxian regrets not being there when his fellow disciples were experimenting with it. Lan Xichen takes him to the mingshi where a small meeting is being held on the topic. Wei Wuxian is more upset that it's Lan Xichen who is informing him of the meeting and not his best friend Lan Zhan. 

 

What Wei Wuxian feared was true. He did something unforgivable for Lan Zhan to give him the silent treatment all throughout the meeting. While Lan Qiren scolded Wei Wuxian of his recklessness or when the other disciples joked of his miscalculation, or when his friends asked him about his well-being; Lan Zhan remained silent. 

 

“I really am sorry!” Wei Wuxian said for the fifty sixth time. Each time Wei Wuxian apologized or tried to get his attention, Lan Zhan simply averted his gaze elsewhere. Each time Lan Zhan would make a face and nod as if Wei Wuxian asked some sort of question. 

They were walking toward the Jingshi or precisely Lan Zhan walked to his own house and Wei Wuxian followed. Wei Wuxian had given many excuses along the path only for him to be ignored. “How many times do I have to apologize to get your forgiveness?”

At last Lan Zhan turned around. He turned to look at Wei Wuxian with repressed anger and disdain and an expression that Wei Wuxian never saw in his zijhi's face. This new expression felt like a slap in the face. Wei Wuxian felt himself being pushed away from a cliff.

“Forgive you for what?” Lan Zhan asked. 

Wei Wuxian reeled his guts to be forward “For I broke my promise and talked to the spirits.” 

“Will forgiving you stop you from breaking your promises again?” 

“Lan Zhan, I really am sorry.” 

“I understand you're sorry.” Lan Zhan expressed as exhausted as Wuming sounds like. “You'll be sorry every time you break a promise. Then what need is there for a promise?” 

“I swear I won't-”

“I know you will.” Lan Zhan defers interrupting. He very rarely speaks in when someone else is speaking, making it very clear how angry he is. 

Wei Wuxian couldn’t utter a word. His head started throbbing again. His heart was beating oddly just as it did when his Qi circulation seized up. Nausea threatened him even though he's not eaten anything since midday. 

Wei Wuxian fell quite in the face of Lan Zhan's disappointment. In the front yard of Jingshi the two of them stood completely silent. The night sky was clear and cloudless but Wei Wuxian's mind was not. He couldn’t figure out what made Lan Zhan so angry, what he could do for him to forgive. 

“Do you care about Young Miss Jiang so much?” asked Lan Zhan out of the blue.

Out of disbelief Wei Wuxian almost yelled, “What?” 

“You care about her so much that you are willing to risk your life.” Lan Zhan added without batting an eye. 

Wei Wuxian's mind was clouded with thoughts. He thought of many possibilities that Lan Zhan might be angry about. Out of all the possibilities, from all the guesses, Wei Wuxian certainly did not think it'd be about Jiang Yanli. “Lan Zhan, don't kid me.” Wei Wuxian laughed a slightly manic laughter knowing very well that Lan Zhan was not kidding. 

“Your Qi was affected.” Lan Zhan notes “Yet you give her all you have just to impress her?” 

Hearing the last of it, Wei Wuxian's sadness turned into rage. He felt foolish to think Lan Zhan was different from others. He was a fool to think that Lan Zhan will always believe him. “Of all the things-” Wei Wuxian yelled, “of all the accusations you could give Lan Zhan-” Wei Wuxian took a step to the boy he was keeping his distance from. “Is that what you think of me?”  His fists were aching to punch randomly. Part of him was so furious that he was ready to jump in a fight, part of him was afraid to hurt the boy he called his soulmate. He didn't want to hurt Lan Zhan. He wanted to be near him, he wanted to hug him, he wanted to speak his heart out. Wei Wuxian was suffocating in a fight within himself. 

“Fine, believe whatever you want” Wei Wuxian stomped his feet and walked out of Lan Zhan's eyesight. He was infuriated to know that just like others Lan Zhan also thought Wei Wuxian was flirting with Jiang Yanli. Even when he yelled at Lan Zhan the boy looked at him with impassive eyes as though he wouldn't budge from his beliefs. There was no point in fighting with a stubborn guy who assumed whatever he wanted to assume. There was rage in him, within that rage was a little hope. A hope that Lan Zhan would realize his fault and follow Wei Wuxian. A hope that he'll stop Wei Wuxian from running away and he'll say that he was wrong to assume. 

His hope was vanquished. Wei Wuxian reached his dorm and Lan Zhan did not stop him. His fickle expectation grew as did the night. Along with the darkness of night, lights of hope were vanquished. His dorm mates, his shixiongs and shidis came by to check on him, but Lan Zhan did not. 

“Aren't you going to have dinner?” Wuming asked. Wei Wuxian was grateful that he did not ask what happened with Lan Zhan. He'd feel more grateful if he stopped nagging him altogether. 

“Your medicines are prescribed to be taken with a full stomach.” 

“Can you like- leave me be for a while?” Wei Wuxian raged out. He had to maintain his ‘okay’ act with his shixiongs and shidis, he's too tired to get his act together in front of Wuming. He wanted to be pathetic and miserable and cry his heart out. But in front of  Wuming he couldn't.

“Actually, to hell with this!” Saying so Wei Wuxian jumped out of his window. It was three more hours before nine, night patrolling disciples wouldn't mind him walking out of the compound. Wuming got the gist of his annoyance. He did not follow Wei Wuxian, giving Wei Wuxian the time he needed. Wei Wuxian on the other hand couldn't bring himself to cry. He couldn’t forgive Lan Zhan for thinking what Wei Wuxian did was to impress Jiang Yanli. What sort of arrogant asshole would try to impress an engaged lady. Moreover, why would Wei Wuxian try to impress a sect heiress? Do Lan Zhan have no idea of how afraid Wei Wuxian is with this whole concept of courting women for the sake of marriage? Wei Wuxian is pretty sure he complained about it enough time for Lan Zhan to understand his disinterest in courtship and marriage altogether.

 

“Ahh fuck-” Wei Wuxian heard a voice from somewhere behind him. He knows in his heart that Lan Zhan does not sound like that, neither does he curse. Yet his fool of a heart turned back, expecting to see Lan Zhan. 

His expectations were once again crushed when he found Jiang Cheng trying to make his escape across the slippery rocks. Wei Wuxian was sitting at the edge of the waterfalls, angry-crying like a rebellious teen, occupied in his own thoughts. He failed to hear Jiang Cheng’s footsteps as he came by. “Wait, you can come back.”

“No need.” Jiang Cheng turned awkwardly. “You can cry.” 

Wei Wuxian felt embarrassed that Jiang Cheng saw him crying. Perhaps it was a two edge sowrd and Jiang Cheng felt the same sort of embarrassment to come across a crying guy. 

“I'm not crying.” lied Wei Wuxian, “Did you need anything?” 

Jiang Cheng cursed under his breath. He skipped over the rocks to reach where Wei Wuxian was sitting though not meeting his eyes. He pulled out a small silk bag saying, “A-Jie told me to give this to you.” 

Wei Wuxian unwrapped the bag, he found sweet rice cakes neatly stacked.

“She made them to give you as a gift.” Jiang Cheng added. He also adds that she'd have given them in person had she found him in the dining hall. She couldn't find him anywhere so Jiang Cheng was tasked to deliver them. 

Wei Wuxian isn't a big fan of sweets when he's sad. He'd rather eat something spicy to burn out his emotions. Nevertheless, he thanked the Jiang young master for his hardship as he ate the rice cakes. Even though Wei Wuxian didn't like sweets that much he'd be wrong to say the cakes were not tasty. 

“Is anything else?” Wei Wuxian inquired to the awkwardly standing Jiang Cheng. The young boy from Jiang clan has been a little awkward since the first time Wei Wuxian had met him. He keeps his arms folded above his chest, brows knitted together in a frown, jaws clenched tight, and lips sealed. He looked like he wanted to throw out but was gulping down the bile. 

“I'm going to say this once, so listen carefully.” Jiang Cheng grumbled, “Sorry and thank you.” 

He said the word so fast that Wei Wuxian almost failed to comprehend. 

 Perplexed, Wei Wuxian asked, “For what?” 

“For being so annoying!” Jiang Cheng bursts out, making Wei Wuxian more confused. The purple cladded young boy then sighed out of exhaustion. He sat beside Wei Wuxian, looked somewhere far to the waterfalls and mumbled, “I said thank-you for helping my sister at the cost of your health.” 

“Oh!” 

“Miss Wen told us about the effects that spell causes.”

“It really didn't affect me- well definitely not because I helped her.” 

“Whatever, I said what I said.” Jiang Cheng ebbed his head huffing to some other direction but never meeting Wei Wuxian's eyes. 

“And,” Wei Wuxian inclined his head toward the boy, “what was the sorry for?” 

The more Wei Wuxian leaned the further Jiang Cheng moved his head. He avoided Wei Wuxian's inquiring eyes till he failed to move any further. “For what I said,” he answered.

The vague answer made Wei Wuxian more confused, “What did you say?”

At last the boy looked directly at Wei Wuxian-however angry- “Now you're just acting.”

Wei Wuxian laughed, “I really don't know what you're talking about.” 

“About that night- when we were drinking.” 

Wei Wuxian then recalled what Jiang Cheng might be meaning. Wei Wuxian didn't want to remember that part of the night. He always tries to forget things that hurt him. When Jiang Cheng reminded him again of his orphanage Wei Wuxian's face morphed back to sadness. 

“Yeah that!” Jiang Cheng mumbled and continued, “I am- uh…sorry I said  stuff.” 

“Don't mention it.” Wei Wuxian speaks without his usual cheerfulness. “I'd rather not think about it.” 

“That's exactly why I'm saying sorry, you asshole.” Saying so Jiang Cheng punched the side of his shoulder.  “Look, I was wrong to bring up your parents. I just didn't like that you liked my sister and then everyone was gossiping that jie might end up being married to a servant's son and it made me more bitter about you.” 

“Please Jiang Cheng-” Wei Wuxian's previous irritation returned. He was once again reminded that Lan Zhan thought he liked Jiang Yanli like everyone else.

But Jiang Cheng was too preoccupied with his own monologue to hear Wei Wuxian's warning. He ignored whatever Wei Wuxian said and told whatever came to his mind, “But honestly though, I'd rather have you as my brother in law than that extravagant bastard.” 

“What the hell!” Wei Wuxian failed to contain himself. He stood up to stroll out as he let out his annoyance. He started yelling, “have you as my brother in law’ That's such a weird thing to say. Why'd you even think of such a thing!” 

Jiang Cheng yelled back,“I meant that theoretically not in practice!” 

“Theoretically, practically, metaphorically- I don't want to be involved in any kind of thoughts pairing her with me!” 

“Who the fuck paired her with you!?”

“What do you mean ‘who’ you just did! Everyone did! Even Lan Zhan did!” 

“No shit he did not!!” 

“He did! He did and he said I was trying to impress her! Why would he say that?!” 

Jiang Cheng asked with confusion, not yelling any longer, “You were not trying to impress her?” 

“No!” Wei Wuxian groaned pulling his hair- he's really losing it. “Can I not help out someone I know? Why must everyone come to that conclusion?” 

“So…. You don't like her like that?” Jiang Cheng the fool asked.

“For fucks sake Jiang Cheng!” May the ancestors of Lan clan and all the deceased Lan disciples forgive him for his utterly poor conduct. Wei Wuxian had never yelled at another out of anger, had never lost his temper to such a degrading state, had never slurred in vulgar words. He ate another rice cake hoping to sweeten his words with its sweetness.

“Good.” Jiang Cheng affirms with a nod, “It's good that you don't. My mother would never allow you anyway.” 

Wei Wuxian knows, he remained silent. Who knows what other slurs he might end up uttering the next time he opens his mouth. It's all Jiang Cheng’s fault, he influenced his swearing capabilities. 

“So uh….” With a slight hesitation Jiang Cheng asks, “You like Miss Wen then?” 

The question felt like a hammer bonking on his head. He felt even more frustrated with these unconventional questions. “Let me guess, there are rumors about me and her?”

“Some saw you walk together to the ladies side of the compound.” 

That must have been when Wen Qing dragged him to apologize to Jiang Yanli. It's crazy how all he has to do is breathe near a girl and people will accuse Wei Wuxian for flirting and flinging. He's exhausted after all the yelling, he lies on the rocky ground and groans to show his displeasure. 

“So, no?” Jiang Cheng the fool asked again.

“Do I have to spell it out?” 

Wei Wuxian hopes that he's clarified enough for the Jiang heir to understand that he has no business with any of the ladies in case of romance. 

The Jiang heir, though always haughty and awkward, had an odd look on his face, like he was relieved of something. Where his noticeable feature had always been a frown, there was now a smile. This new look of calmness didn't look bad on him. The boy cleared his throat and took one of the rice cakes that was meant for Wei Wuxian. 

Jiang Cheng spoke, “I thought the Lan disciples were all calm and restrained. People always say that the red lotus of Gusu is a charming boy who smiles in dire situations. Whatever happened to that calm, restrained, unwavering smiles?” His tone indicated that he was joking or rather being sarcastic. 

“A friend of mine told me,” Wei Wuxian says, referring Wuming as his friend, “that we should not suppress our emotions. So I came here to let them out and then you came in.” 

“Is that friend Lan Wangji?” Jiang Cheng says while eating another of his cakes. At that point he ate most of the cakes that Jiang Yanli made for Wei Wuxian. 

Wei Wuxian clicked his tongue out of annoyance. Every reminder of Lan Zhan made him remember how his best friend misunderstood him, and everytime his annoyance grew.

“Don't tell me-” Jiang Cheng exclaimed with glee, “You had a fight with him?” 

“Well, you look awfully happy about it.” 

“No no,” Jiang Cheng denied in spite of his huge grin, “I hear people always praising your bond, saying shit like “tied together”, “glued to the hips'’ ,and whatnot. Some even think there's something going on between you two. Who would have thought under that unbreakable bond you two fight like enemies.”

“First of all!” Wei Wuxian rose up to face Jiang Cheng, “We did not fight like enemies. We rarely even fight. And secondly,” Wei Wuxian's guts told him not to ask but his mouth worked faster, “What do you mean there's something going on between you two ?” 

Jiang Cheng gave him a side eyed look as though he expected Wei Wuxian to know exactly what he meant, “It's not me, it's what people say.” 

“What do they say?” 

“I'm no snitch.” 

“Jiang Cheng!” 

“Alright, alright,” the boy rolled his eyes, “they think you like Lan Wangji.” 

Wei Wuxian's blood rose to his face. It was definitely not out of anger or frustration. It was not exactly shame or embarrassment either. He honestly had no clue why his body felt hot or why his heart started beating louder. He asked to be sure, “Like, like-like?” 

Jiang Cheng shrugged his shoulders, “After that whole ass poetic confession-” 

“What poetic confession!” Wei Wuxian felt like being caught red handed after causing mischief, “I never showed my poems to anyone!”

“Uhh… that year when you challenged Wen Chao saying he won't be the top sought-after bachelor? Huaisang said it was a poem.” 

“Oh! right! that!” He had forgotten about it. More precisely he does not think about it out of embarrassment. 

He actually is embarrassed. 

“So-” Jiang Cheng says in a serious tone, “you really write poems about Lan Wangji?” 

“Nope. When did I say that? Hahaha.” Wei Wuxian attempts to sweep the dirt under the rocks- or he might just sweep himself under the rocks. Why'd he even mention his poems? 

“You do!” The purple cladded grumpy boy elated with joy as though he had caught a big red fish. “There really is something going on between you two!” 

“There is nothing going on between us!” Wei Wuxian stood up while his whole nervous system vibrated. “This is all blasphemy and I'm going.” He ran away from the boy that laughed at Wei Wuxian's flusteration.

His body could not stay still. He was exhausted a few moments ago, however soon did Jiang Cheng told him about people looking at his and Lan Zhan's friendships differently, his body brimmed with overwhelming energy.

He doesn't know why.

He isn't sure if he wants to know why.

Notes:

I've always wanted a good interaction between Suibian and Wei Wuxian. Although the interaction here is really small and quick hope it conveyed their bond.
Yes, Suibian and Bichen are practically married. Bichen is a shy bb that didn't want their masters to know of their affairs.

 

Here is also a less angry, less grumpy Jiang Cheng, he is trying his best to be friendly.
Reminder that this fic is a nice mix between the drama version and novel version, so there is Jiang Cheng crushing over Wen Qing, and if things go well, they might end up together.
JC: so you like my sister
WWX: ٩(๑ `н´๑)۶ no!
JC:you like Wen Qing
WWX: (¬_¬ ) no!
JC:You like Lan Wangji?
WWX: (⁄ ⁄°⁄口⁄°⁄ ⁄)(,,>﹏<,,)(˶˃⤙˂˶) no!

Chapter 37: More than best friends?

Notes:

Did I tell you this fic is slow build?

Wei Wuxian is in a battle with himself. 

He sways toward Lan Zhan at first sight then sways back remembering their little fight. Lan Zhan doesn't look like he'll break the ice first, Wei Wuxian refuses to melt until Lan Zhan apologizes. 

He does not know how long this will go on, how long he has to keep feeling suffocated.

Wuming had given his share of advice, the same old “listen and talk” crap. But Wei Wuxian doesn't want to be the bigger person when it's barely his fault.

It does affect his daily life. He's late to morning classes, breakfast tasted like sand, training was more tiring than ever. By that time news of his and Lan Zhan's little fight had spread the whole cloud recesses. Every Lan disciple was aware that Wei Wuxian and second young master Lan are not in talking terms for the time being.  

“Wuxian,” Lan Xichen approaches him after the end of their training. “You were not focusing.” 

The older boy, despite knowing the reason, gave him the obligatory lecture for focusing while working with swords.  “So, what is it this time?” Lan Xichen then asked. Wei Wuxian grumbled, making his shixiong laugh. They stay behind the training hall to stack back the training equipment, Wei Wuxian ends up complaining about Lan Zhan. The boy did not wait for him in the infirmary, did not come to pick him up, did not talk to him, said things that hurt Wei Wuxian. Lan Xichen smiled his knowing smile. He informed that his little brother was frightened to see Wei Wuxian's blood stains on Li Young's robes. He had left his guqin practice mid way to check up on him. As Wuming, Lan Xichen also tells him how Lan Zhan did wait for Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian just happened to wake up when he was out. His best friend is mad at him for breaking promises one after one.  

That does not give him the excuse of accusing Wei Wuxian of having a crush on young miss Jiang. 

The older boy that's supposed to be more mature than him giggled at Wei Wuxian's frustration, “Give him a little time. You know better how hard it is for Wangji to speak his heart.” 

Wei Wuxian knows what Lan Zhan said that night about impressing Jiang Yanli was not said from the heart. At a corner of his mind, he believed there was some other reason for his upsetting words.  If Wei Wuxian pestered the boy enough times he'd give in and tell him the truth. Regardless of knowing that, Wei Wuxian's heart harbors an unpleasant cluster of emotion that enjoys being in pain. He feels physical pain when he has to stay away from Lan Zhan. Despite that pain of being eaten like scavengers, he avoids Lan Zhan in all possible ways. He arrived at class late, he arrived at training late, he arrived at his watch duty in the library late to avoid meeting Lan Zhan. 

“What a pleasant surprise, it's young master Jiang.” Wei Wuxian says finding Jiang Cheng copying the rules with the deepest frown. He was noticed that the young master of Jiang was found strolling outside after nine.

“And it's all your fault!” 

It is partially Wei Wuxian's fault for keeping Jiang Cheng till late night to vent about his anger. On the other hand it's not his fault that Jiang Cheng got caught, nor did he invite the young boy to sit down and have a nice little chat with him. 

On the other side of the library was Nie Huaisang, copying the rules for regulations as he does every year. Wei Wuxian couldn’t care what rules that boy broke this time. For someone who loves to be sleathly he sure does get caught a lot. 

To distract himself from boredom Wei Wuxian sat down to read whatever book was on the table. Without checking its title he opened the book only to curse out of sheer terror and throw the book away. 

The book was one of those spring books full of exotic paintings with men and women having explicit time with each other. Where the woman was lying on her back with her legs spread upwards and the man on top of her was thrusting his prickle in her body. 

The two younger boys started laughing at Wei Wuxian's loud repulsion. One said, “See Jiang Xiong, I told you he'd scream!” The other snickered, “Talk about being a flirt!” 

Nie Huaisang had gone insane with his new found friend. He robbed the hughty young master of Jiang into pranking Wei Wuxian with erotic book nonetheless. Wei Wuxian could not form a clear thought to defend himself from their laughter. Not only the younger boys  his so-called ever caring blue lizard friend Wuming chuckled at his reaction too. 

They all find it very funny that the notorious flirt of Gusu Lan would turn red at the face of a painting on a piece of paper. 

“Well, can't expect any worse from the second best disciple of Lan.” Jiang Cheng fixed his composure picking up the erotic book. He looked through the book with a calm face, not even a hint of blush. 

“You two!” Wei Wuxian composed himself back to his feet. “Pranking the disciple in duty, carrying and reading erotic books, laughing at others, they are all punishable.” 

“Aww don't do that!” Nie Huaisang whined. 

As a dutiful disciple he disregards the whining, “You are to copy the book of virtue thirty more times.” 

“You can't do that!” Jiang Cheng yelled. 

“Yelling is forbidden. Also, as the second in command I can do that. ” 

“Wei xiong is salty that he got pranked.” Nie Huaisang continued making fun of him “Or are you so shocked to see the ways of nature that you can't calm your nerves.” 

It is true that the painting of such explicity made him so overwhelmed with nervousness that his hands took a while to calm its tremor. He is not sure how red his face was by the hotness he felt. 

“Keep bullying him and he'll tell you on Lan Qiren.” Jiang Cheng joked. “It's the poor child's first time, let him panic.” 

“It- it's not my first time!” Wei Wuxian lied without thinking. “I've read erotic novels before.” 

“Like the nerd you are!” 

Wei Wuxian doesn't pride himself on being a well-known flirt. However, it did hurt his pride that the young masters of the noble clan could read spring books without no remorse and he could not. 

“Aiyaa, Wei xiong.” Nie Huaisang creeped up to him, encircling him in his arms. “You're a growing man. Many of the sweet sweet ladies of Gusu fawn over your charm. One is to be fated to be your bride.” He pulled Wei Wuxian to sit near his low table as he narrates the uncertain future, “Imagine the horror of your bride when she discovers you're nothing but an all bark no bite dog.” 

“I don't think-”

“Susshh, sushh,” Nie Huaisang shuts Wei Wuxian's mouth with a finger over his lips. “Erotic novels are just words. They can't teach you bedtime techniques like the paintings do.” 

Wei Wuxian wants to say that he does not care. He does not plan to have a wife. He could not, had never, imagined himself in a sensitive position with another woman. But the boy is too invested to teach Wei Wuxian the ways of love making. He held Wei Wuxian by the shoulders, reviewing the damned book of porn. 

The pornograph had painted men and women in different indecent positions in each page. At the corners were paragraphs narrating what they were doing, their dialogues and the lascivious sounds they made while doing it. Nie Huaisang did not pay any heed to the paragraphs. He pointed to facial expressions those people made, the unachievable positions they were in, the size of their bosom and willy. 

To Wei Wuxian it was humiliating. He did not like watching the naked woman like the two boys did. He could not understand why being bent in half would be pleasurable to anyone. He did not understand why anyone in this world would take genitalia in their mouth and call it arousing. 

Wei Wuxian felt more nauseous than excited. 

“You don't like what you see?” Nie Huaisang inquired with a dubious smirk. 

“It's too coarse.” Wei Wuxian answered honestly. 

Jiang Cheng snorted, “But your face is saying something else.” 

“Such is a normal reaction.” Wei Wuxian is mortified that his body temperature refuses to lower. 

“Wei Xiong, Wei Xiong,” Nie Huaisang lamented with a dramatic sigh. He patted Wei Wuxian's back like that was comforting, “Perhaps this friend of yours has been too harsh on you.” 

“Yes, now if you excuse me- you still have to fulfill your extended punishment.” 

“Not so fast!” Nie Huaisang pulled him back to where he was seated. He held Wei Wuxian tighter to make sure he won't run away. “Why don't you take a look at a milder one.” 

“You have more!?” Wei Wuxian almost thrashed out. If anyone was to know they'd not only have a months worth of copying but also a beating of fifty planks. 

The young masters did not know what punishment awaited them. They rather said,“If you're a real man you'll look.” 

When it came to his pride as a man Wei Wuxian could not refuse. He took the book Nie Huaisang handed him with glee and mischief. 

Turning the page, he saw fine poetic rendition of a paragraph depicting longing for a person. Below the paragraph was a young man lying on his chest with his robes loosely tied to his waist. He was barely clothed, showing his bare thighs and perked out fleshy bottom. Wei Wuxian got a bad feeling about that calm start. He noticed Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng smirking to each other. Knowing he had fallen in their trap made Wei Wuxian give up fighting, he turned the next page. What he saw on that page was something he never expected. The page had the same young man lain in a similar posture as before, leaned on his chest, bare bottom. In this new page he had a companion. What surprised him was that this companion of his was also a young man. The other man climbed above him, his chest touching the others back. The most noticeable feature in the painting had to be the way the man on top held the other man's erection. The man that held the erection licked his partner's ear with a playful smile. And his partner had a mixtured look of pain and happiness. 

“Aiyaa, why is there two man?” Nie Huaisang gasped innocently. “I was going to give you the general one.” The boy tried to peer the book out of Wei Wuxian's hand. But Wei Wuxian's body had some other thoughts. While his mind was busy incriting the painting in his memory, his hands gripped the book with all his might. What's worse is that, not only did Wei Wuxian find the painting arousing, his subconscious mind saw him and Lan Zhan like that. His heart pounded at thought of Lan Zhan gently holding his erection, maybe stroking it with his nice delicate fingers. 

“Oh what's this,” Nie Huaisang chriped, “Does Wei Xiong like to see this kind of stuff?” 

“No!” Wei Wuxian swiftly stood up. “I didn't like any of these.” 

Jiang Cheng laughed at him. Watching Jiang Cheng laugh made him feel more humbled. He remembered how Jiang Cheng said that people think there's something going in between him and Lan Zhan. Before any of this, Wei Wuxian could defend himself because there really was nothing between them. Now that his imagination provided solid images of him and Lan Zhan in pornographic activities he'd suddenly lost his eloquence. One thing was for sure that Wei Wuxian had a different kind of desire for his best friend. 

“I- I'll be confesticating these!” Wei Wuxian took  the books from Nie Huaisang while the boy giggled his mischievous glee. “Pay attention to your copying.” 

“Aw ca'mon!” 

“I'll retract the punishment I gave, so… you should keep this a secret as well.”  Saying so Wei Wuxian dashed out of the library, leaving his duty to be damned. He hopes the two young masters would be obedient enough to complete their copying so Wei Wuxian can submit them to the grand master in time. 

“Why don't you meditate to calm yourself.” Wumings voice makes Wei Wuxian jump out of his skin for how similar he sounds to Lan Zhan. 

“I was thinking about visiting the cold pond, so…” 

“Fine, I'll be waiting in your room.” 

Wumings was smart enough to understand what Wei Wuxian could not ask for. Privacy. It was all thanks to his several layers of tight clothing that saved him from dishonoring himself in front of Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng. He'd have been humiliated had his erection flashed before the two boys. He's never been that hard in his early teens. His blood pressure never rose to an extent that he feared he might die. 

Wei Wuxian took off all his clothings except for a longer inner robe, in case someone walks in. Wei Wuxian is strict about flashing his bare skin to anyone. He's always kept two piece of clothes anytime he'd dived in the cold pond. 

However, the situation called for him to lose his mind. His erection was suffocated in all his clothings, almost bursting out. Had he not hurried he might have spilled his pants. Though cold pond had done miracles to his hardness before, it definitely was not the case now. His deep crimson erection refuses to go back to normal even in negative temperature. 

Wei Wuxian feared that his qi circulation might have been disturbed. His heartbeat was not calming down, he could feel his hardness throb that it pained, his body was sweating despite the coldness, his breath was shallow.  And his mind…. His mind didn't stop showing the imagery of two men coupling lovingly, playfully. He could imagine the painting move, him and his best friend in action, Lan Zhan's hand around his dick. Wei Wuxian tried not to think, tried not to touch himself, but his vivid imagination advanced. From kissing to touching to groping here and there, his ass and his thighs. Just imagining the scene made him leak and moan out. He was perplexed to hear his own lewd voice. 

Wei Wuxian covered his mouth in shock. Now that he knows how he sounds with desire for Lan Zhan, how could he ever face Lan Zhan again. 

His desires for Lan Zhan never exceeded to kiss, chaste or wild, it never crossed the line below his waist. He thought it was because he spends all his day with Lan Zhan, he thought it was because of those novels with excruciatingly elaborate descriptions of two lovers kissing.

Wei Wuxian's body now not only wanted to be kissed but also held in a perverse manner. 

 

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan's voice echoed in his ears. Wei Wuxian was so delirious that he could hear Lan Zhan's deepset voice. He'd not be surprised if the man himself appeared before him.

The man himself did appear before him, Wei Wuxian sure was surprised. One, Lan Zhan never walked in the pond cave if he knew some was already there. Two, even if he stumbled upon someone he'd have walked out and not jump in the pond. Nevertheless, Lan Zhan had done it. He walked in the cave knowing Wei Wuxian was in there. He jumped in the pond knowing Wei Wuxian was in it. He held Wei Wuxian by his wrist and pulled him closer and called his name and gazed at him with his breathtaking golden eyes. 

Wei Wuxian really hoped all of this was a hallucination. 

“What's wrong?” Lan Zhan asked. 

Wei Wuxian gaped at the shimmering beauty this one young man could possess. Cerulean lights of the cold pond reflected on his pale skin. The cobalt blue rocks of the cave painted him lovingly as if he really was a celestial deity. 

Wei Wuxian once again realized just how beautiful his soulmate is.

“Wei Ying, what did you do again?” Lan Zhan asked with a hint of fury beneath his calm eyes. 

“I- I didn't do anything.” Wei Wuxian hurriedly answered. 

“Your body is brimming with yang energy.” Saying, Lan Zhan held his wrist harder than before. This allowed Wei Wuxian to return back to reality and check his surroundings. A few blinks ago, Wei Wuxian was daydreaming about the boy in front of him touching him all over. Just a heartbeat ago,he moaned while fantasizing about being gropped, he was hard with lust for the same boy that stood before his face with worry and care.  He was and still is hard downstairs. Wei Wuxian is naked to his butt with just a thin layer of wet white see through cloth. His hard dick is only covered thanks to the dim lighting and vogue water.  

If Lan Zhan got any closer to him, he'll certainly come across Wei Wuxian's erection. If they got any closer Wei Wuxian's body might betray his morals and beg the boy to touch him and release him from the pain of lustful desire. 

“So what if I am!” Wei Wuxian shouted from fear of Lan Zhan getting closer, “Why are you here?” 

“I-” Lan Zhan uttered at a loss for words. It's apparent that he's not happy about being shouted at when all he ever did was to look out for Wei Wuxian. Lan Zhan swallowed his anger. He replaced his hand from Wei Wuxian's wrist to his neck, “Wei Ying, you're burning with fever.” 

The sudden warm touch branded his skin. Wei Wuxian's fear of being caught grew and he mindlessly yelled, “No, go away.” 

If it was possible to alter time or to take back the word spilled out of one's mouth, Wei Wuxian would have immediately done so. Lan Zhan's look of pure devastation stopped Wei Wuxian's heart completely. He didn't waste a single breath to be in Wei Wuxian's vicinity, and marched out of the cave as fast as he could. Wei Wuxian regretted yelling at him. He regretted not going after him. Had his body not reacted to Lan Zhan's touch he'd have hugged the boy right there. 

He hated himself for it. 

 

After his body had calmed down, Wei Wuxian looked for Lan Zhan everywhere but the fuddy duddy boy was nowhere to be found. He's asked others about his whereabouts but no one knew where the second young master was, not even his own older brother. 

“Why don't you send him a message?” Lan Xichen asked. His smiling face was one of those tired nursery teachers amused at his baby student's shenanigans. 

How could Wei Wuxian tell him that it's not another of their theatrics but something more grave. Wei Wuxian sighed, “He wouldn't answer me.” 

 “I'm sure he'll be back before night time. Why don't you wait?” 

“Xiongzhan,” Wei Wuxian said with a humorful disbelief, “You know I'm incapable of waiting.” 

Lan Xichen let out a knowing laughter, “Then, want to come along with me?” 

 

Lan Xichen gave a poor excuse that Meng Yao had invited him to stroll around the Caiyi city as he accompanied Nie Huaisang. Nie Huaisang had made a good friend out of the awkward Jiang young master. They've been going out time to time with each other. Wei Wuxian didn't suspect Lan Xichen much. However, it turned out that the older boy had a secret plan to make him get closer with Jiang Cheng. 

It's not like Wei Wuxian had any problem hanging out with Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng. Nie Huaisang is Nie Huaisang. Jiang Cheng is well…. Jiang Cheng. And Meng Yao….. 

 

Wei Wuxian once overheard that the new assistant of Nie sect leader has climbed his social status by following his mothers footsteps. Some even say that his mother was bought to the sect to serve her purpose to the sect leader. Despite the position he's in, he'd still tried to gain his legitimacy from Jin Guangshan. Some say that Jin Guangshan rejected him and even kicked him down the three thousand stairs. Wei Wuxian does not trust baseless rumors. But when those rumors are fact checked by none other than Nie Huaisang he can't quite disregard them. While Nie Huaisang did not clarify that Meng Yao has stooped to prostitution- of course no brother would snitch on his elder brother's affairs- he still feels awkward to see the man like he once did as a child. 

Lan Xichen cared not for the rumors spread about Meng Yao. With Meng Yao he speaks  with a wider smile. His delight could be measured by the tone of his voice. Lan Xichen gets lost in the conversation easily, he barely bids Wei Wuxian a goodbye before the three young boys took a different route. 

“So the rumors are true?” Jiang Cheng inquired.

“About?”

“First young master Lan having a soft spot for that bastard son of Jin Guangshan.” 

Wei Wuxian ignored the coarse language, “I don't think there's anything wrong with it.” 

“And besides,” Nie Huaisang adds, “Meng Yao is a nice guy.” 

“Yeah I'd not know.” Jiang Cheng led the way putting an end to the conversation with an eyeroll. 

“Where are we going by the way?” Wei Wuxian didn't know why he was following them in the first place. He's supposed to stroll around with Lan Xichen. He can't even tell why it didn't feel right to join the older guys. 

“Don't know about you. I'm going to meet someone.” Jiang Cheng answered. 

“Oho, who is this someone?” Wei Wuxian playfully elbowed the purple cladded boy. 

The purple cladded boy smirked, “Jasmine,She's one of my best friend.” 

“Oooooh, is that so?” 

Just as Wei Wuxian was about to tease the young master about this best friend of his, he hears what he fears the most. Terrorized by dogs barking Wei Wuxian's hand instinctively searched for Lan Zhan to hold on. What his hand found was not his strong, tall, reliable best friend but Nie Huaisang. Although he hid behind Nie Huaisang with blood running cold he could not hide as properly as he wished. 

The dog covered in fur as white as snow came running towards them enthusiastically. It barked and jumped in Jiang Cheng’s arms as if it was his child and had met after a decade. Jiang Cheng also treated the dog like it was his long lost child. He rubbed its white fur, scratched its ears and necks, said cringe worthy stuff that would've made Wei Wuxian cringe had he not been trembling out of fear. 

“Aiya, aiya, aiya Wei Xiong! You're going to break my bones.” 

Only after hearing Nie Huaisang yell for his life did Wei Wuxian realize how strong his grip was. Lan Zhan never mentioned it. Despite his fear he let go of Nie Huaisang. With nothing to hold on his hands trembled visibly. It did not go unnoticed by the other two boys. 

“Don't tell me, are you afraid of dogs?” Nie Huaisang asked, wiping his tears. 

“Seriously? What's so scary about her?” Jiang Cheng laughed. 

His laughter felt like an insult to Wei Wuxian's pride. But there is no denying that Wei Wuxian is afraid of dogs. He can't forget the memories of dogs mauling him like wasted meat. Nor can he be brave enough to stand still with a dog half as big as a tiger. 

 Wei Wuxian swallowed his fear,  “She's just too big.”

“Of course she is. She's a spiritual dog.” Jiang Cheng proudly exclaimed. Wei Wuxian almost yelped when he saw that beast of a dog licked Jiang Cheng’s face. He contemplated between running off and saying goodbye with a proper excuse. However might he wish to escape his feet were glued to the ground. 

 

“A-Xian, you're here too?” Wei Wuxian hears Jiang Yanli's voice. She walks out of the same inn as  the dog did. Behind her was Wen Qing and Wen Ning. “I've been meaning to meet you!” 

Wei Wuxian wished he could return her smile. To be frank he wished it was Lan Zhan instead of her. It could have been Lan Zhan in Wen Qing’s place. Lan Zhan has always found him when in danger. He's always arrived like an angel to save him from  his misery. So why was it different then? 

Suddenly Wei Wuxian felt that no one knew him the way Lan Zhan does. All of a sudden all these people he called friends felt like strangers to him. He's once again brought back to the time where he is a helpless child lost in the road and no one to hold him. 

“Xian-gege are you feeling sick?” Wen Ning leaned near him. He hugged Wei Wuxian by the shoulders subtly patting him. 

“I- no, I'm…” Wei Wuxian failed to sort out an excuse. 

“Ah- so you are.” Saying so, Wen Ning pulled out his sword, gesturing him to get on it. “You're not well enough to maneuver your own.” 

Having no other way out, Wei Wuxian quickly jumped on Wen Ning’s spiritual sword. He did not have the energy to bid goodbye to others. All he cared about was how fast he could go home. 

He's immensely thankful to Wen Ning for stepping up to look out for him in his dire situation. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd be there.” Wen Ning said as they reached cloud recesses. 

“It's not your fault that I'm afraid of dogs.” Wei Wuxian forced out a smile. 

The Wen boy caught his act. He took in a big breath and asked, “should I accompany you to your dorms?” 

Wei Wuxian refused to bother the boy any longer. He's already wasted Wen Ning’s day out with his sister. He couldn’t possibly ask for more from him. On the other hand Wei Wuxian did not want to return to his dorm. Wuming will ask what happened and he'll be sad if he learns about Wei Wuxian's encounter with a spiritual dog. 

He wanted Lan Zhan. He wanted to be held, he wanted to cry. He wanted to tell his best friend how scared he was, how scary that dog was. He wants his soulmate to be with him the next time they are out so that if dogs came Wei Wuxian could hold on to Lan Zhan. If dogs came, Wei Wuxian could feel the warmth of his zijhi and remember, however vast this world is he will not be lonely as long as Lan Zhan is with him. 

 

He waited outside Lan Zhan's door. Jingshi was as quiet as ever. There is no way to tell whether someone is in there or not. No answer would come from the other side of the door. Wei Wuxian wouldn't walk in overstepping his boundaries. 

If Lan Zhan does not allow him to be in his house, Wei Wuxian will not bother him. 

Sun sets, painting the sky with orange and red hues. Lan Zhan does not open the doors. 

Night falls, twinkling with stars and shining with her moon. Lan Zhan does not open the doors. 

Notes:

You know how Wei Wuxian as a rowdy Jiang disciple did not play with woman and had saved his kiss for his one true love.
I think that this gets worse as a Lan disciple. As a Lan disciple he's even more of a preserved man. No one will see him butt naked till his love! He will not play with himself either. His dick is only for his lover.!!

Anyways, here's the long waited porn book study. :>
And babies second gay painc

What do you think Lan Zhan is doing.
Spoiler, he realized later that Wei Ying was soaked in water with a see-throughable robe. He almost saw Wei Ying's weewee (pun intended :'D) and had his own gay painc and ran away.
About the 3Zuns and any other background ships, I won't go into elaborate details,
Cause, I can't even finish writing Wangxian how will I write others ˶>⤙<˶
Next chapter will take longer to update, so on folks

Chapter 38: Amends

Notes:

Hiiiiiᡣ𐭩

It was Wen Ning who first asked if he was sick. Morning lectures had just finished and Wei Wuxian was about to cry another round. His bones ached, and eyes stung under brighter light. His ears rang with high pitched noise, headache was devouring him. One after another question in his head fanning the burn in his heart.

Lan Zhan did not as much as glance at him. His discomfort can escape anyone's but Lan Zhan's eyes. Yet his best friend did not care for him. Wei Wuxian was lost in his own self doubt. He kept asking himself if he had the right to even ask Lan Zhan why he did not open the door for him. He kept feeling like he had lost all his friendship privileges and is just a stranger to Lan Zhan. 

Its the way Wen Ning speaks so gently like Wei Wuxian is a fragile glass  sculpture and would crack into bits if spoken harshly. While Wei Wuxian can overcome any harsh scoldings, it is nice to be softly spoken with. 

“Did you not sleep well?” Wen Ning again asked, subtly holding his hands. 

Wei Wuxian did not sleep at all. He was busy crying his eyes out wondering why things went wrong between him and Lan Zhan. Wuming tried his best to encourage him to think positively but Wei Wuxian doesn't think there was anything positive about Lan Zhan giving him the cold shoulders. 

“Did you have nightmares?” Wen Ning asked once again. His sister joined him after noticing their prolonged conversation. 

She says with a serious tone, “Wen Xu is watching, speak elsewhere.” 

They take Wei Wuxian away from the Lanshi, not so far from the hills. He saw Lan Zhan leave his seat without batting an eye. His unconcern was like a stab in the guts to Wei Wuxian. The pain threatened to seamed out his pores, fall into his knees, start wailing like a newly widowed wife.

“Is it really for the dogs?” Wen Qing asked. They sat near the many streams of Cloud recesses. Koi fishes of different colors jumped to watch the new guests visiting them. Other than the occasional sound of splashing water, the day was calm and quiet, unlike the roaring in Wei Wuxian's heart.

“What dogs?” Wei Wuxian asked lost in disarray.

She spoke with a different- softer tone to clear his confusion,“A-Ning said you're terribly afraid of dogs and that you have horrible nightmares of them.”

Wei Wuxian doesn't remember saying all that to Wen Ning. He doubts Wuming sharing that information to the boy. It is true that he often has nightmares of dogs chasing him and eating him alive, that was certainly not the reason for his lack of sleep. Thoughts of losing Lan Zhan preoccupied his head so much that he even forgot encountering a dog. Perhaps it was an undeniable fact that his fear of losing Lan Zhan was far greater than being chased by dogs. Sometimes he surprises himself for how greatly attached he is to Lan Zhan, how much that boy means to him.

“Not so talkative today?” Wen Qing complained, tugging a strand of hair from his ponytail. 

“Ow- really not funny.” Wei Wuxian groaned. There was no point in frowning at her when Wei Wuxian was the one who forgot to reply. 

“Xian-gege, is there anything I can do to make you cheer up?” said the gentle Wen boy. Wen Qing groaned however she did not stop her brother. Wei Wuxian was awestruck by this boy's gentleness. What good had he done to deserve his sincere care?

“This is helping enough.” Wei Wuxian says resting his head on Wen Ning’s shoulder. His shoulders were not as broad as Lan Zhan's, nevertheless comfortable. Wei Wuxian found out that, he does not feel obligated to be cheerful around the Wen siblings. He can be himself, pathetic and moody, and the two siblings will accept him as he was.

They make him feel at home sometimes.

 

Perhaps things are not as bad as he initially thought it was. If there is comfort in places he'd not expected, then there will be comfort in places he knows well around. Now that he's rested his head, listening to the babbling brooks, feeling Wuming’s soft fur under his clenched jaw , letting the breeze sway his hair, he's come down with a new realization that Lan Zhan is not dying. He is not losing Lan Zhan to a place he can't reach him, things like rights and privileges never existed between them. If Lan Zhan is giving him the cold shoulders, he'll simply have to warm those shoulders up. Wei Wuxian will apologize even if he has to kowtow before Lan Zhan's feet. Pride is not worth the pain he's going through.

 

“I've been studying human psychology for a while now.” Wen Qing says out of nowhere. When Wei Wuxian hums in a way to indicate that he is listening, Wen Qing continues, “I tried experimenting with different kinds of trauma and inventing medicine to heal them.” 

“That's really…. extraordinary.” Wei Wuxian says, trying to sound as astonished as he could. 

“But I lack specimen,” says Wen Qing, “Wanna become one?” 

Before Wei Wuxian could process what Wen Qing ment Wen Ning reacted, making Wei Wuxian jolt out of surprise. “A-jie, don't rob him into this.” 

“What! You're the one who suggested I study psychology.” 

“You can't use him for your experiments.” 

“Why not? maybe I can find a cure for his fear of dogs, who knows.” 

“Still, he can't be our guinea-pig.” 

Watching the two siblings squabble like over-smart childrens bubbled a laughter out of him. He really adores them. Hearing him laugh the two Wen siblings stopped as well, watching his laughter with delightful wonder.

“Ah- are we interrupting?” Jiang Yanli's voice catches him off guard. 

The Jiang siblings walked to them carrying a chime of their sect's special bell. Jiang Yanli smiled with her eyes, gazing softly at Wei Wuxian. She watches him as though she knows he was troubled but was unsure to approach. She handed him a paper bag warm and heavy, “I heard you liked them.”

Inside the bag was red bean buns. The smell of red beans is nothing but a precious nostalgia to him. They aren't his favorite food to be precise, but the smell brings him comfort. It was the first warm food he had as a street child. And the one to buy him those was none other than Lan Zhan.

He missed Lan Zhan a lot....

“You left so quickly that day, I couldn't even greet you properly.” Says Jiang Yanli. “I guessed you're not comfortable with loud animals.” 

“Jasmine is not loud!” Jiang Cheng hissed to defend his pet. 

Wei Wuxian glanced at Wen Ning to ask if he told everyone he's afraid of dogs. Not that he minds Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng knowing, even so he'd like to keep his weaknesses hidden. 

Wen Ning shook his head hurriedly. He did not share it with anyone, so maybe Wei Wuxian was not as subtle as he thought he was at hiding his fear.

“Jasmine is the calmest among her sisters.” Says Jiang Cheng with his awkward way of speaking. He added with pride, “She doesn't like to be separated from me. I treat her like a child. If not for the rules she could be here with me now.” 

“Dogs are too loud for cloud recesses.” Wei Wuxian finally speaks. He doesn’t understand why, with Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng he doesn't feel the same comfort with Wen Qing and Wen Ning. He finds it more exhausting to speak around them. His exhaustion was never so bad that he found it hard to speak. The restless feeling was catching up to him, suddenly he wanted nothing more than solitude. 

Jiang Yanli and Wen Qing carried on the conversation while their brothers stared at each other. Wen Ning had a hint of displeasure in his eyes, something Wei Wuxian was sure that sweet boy was incapable of. Their quite glares reminded Wei Wuxian of cats fighting for their territory. Given the chance they might as start hissing at each other.

“A-Xian,” he hears Lan Xichen's voice. As soon as Wei Wuxian turned to look at him he knew he'd done something wrong again. Other's don't notice the small frown in his brows or the strained smile he gives when greeting everyone. After their mandatory greetings the older Lan brother turned to him and said, “Are you not forgetting something?” Wei Wuxian revised his schedule in his head and he was not in duty until mid day. “What day is it today?” Lan Xichen again said with a deeper frown this time. 

Just Lan Xichen mentioned the day Wei Wuxian is reminded by Wuming what he was forgetting. “Oh-” Wei Wuxian said guilty.

“Yes, Wangji is waiting for you.” 

“He is?” 

“Yes, please hurry.” 

Lan Xichen and Wei Wuxian quickly bid their goodbyes to the group of youngsters. Lan Xichen was not pleased that Wei Wuxian would forget the day they met in the gentian house to offer Madam Lan incense. He is not pleased that his little brothers were still not over with their fight. 

“Both of you are hurting yourselves.” says Lan Xichen with exasperation. "Either you two solve the matter yourself, or i take it in my own hands."

Wei Wuxian would not risk Lan Xichen dealing with their fights. The last time they had a small conflict over a topic Lan Xichen made them drink truth serum. Wei Wuxian was the one to suffer most in that.

And it's not like Wei Wuxian does not want this fight to end. He just... he is afraid to approach Lan Zhan at this point.

 

In the gentian house Lan Zhan waited kneeled before Madam Lan’s name plaque. The boy in white averted his gaze as soon as Wei Wuxian came to his view. This hurts Wei Wuxian furthermore. At that moment he doubted if Lan Zhan wanted him there or not. At that moment he wanted to step back and run to his room. He did not want to disregard their years of tradition either.  If he did he'd be disrespecting Madam Lan as well. 

Lan Xichen pulled him inside the room, Wei Wuxian allowed himself to be drag. 

Their rituals go on with unusual quietness. Their tradition of offering incense stick passes, first Lan Xichen and then Lan Zhan and lastly Wei Wuxian who is not related to Madam Lan by any means other than the fact that he is her son's friend. After Wei Wuxian had offered his incense, he shut his eyes and prayed to Madam Lan with all his heart.

“I know you're not pleased with me for I've been hurting your son. I swear I did not mean to. I swear I want to amend my mistakes. Please look over me. Please don't take your son from me.” 

 

After their prayers they usually chat or play board games. Given the circumstances, those were going to happen that was for sure. Wei Wuxian could only weakly glance at Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen, unsure if he should even be there. He kneels there the same way Lan Zhan does, remaining unmoving as an inanimate object.

Watching little ones being as they were, Lan Xichen let's out a long loud sigh. He sighed as though he was so so tired of dealing with two grumpy emotional teenagers. Then out of the blue the older boy yells, “Aiyaaa, look at me I'm so busy today!” 

His sudden dramatics cringed out both Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan. Yet the boy continued extremely dramatically, “I completely forgot I've very important sect papers to read. I can no longer spend time with my little brothers. I am remorseful of my quick leave, mother. I have  no choice but to go.” 

Saying as he pleases, Lan Xichen slowly but surely leaves the gentian house. As he left he locked the doors from outside loudly lamenting at how his hands slipped and locked the hinges. He did not had to lock them in. If anyone wanted to run away, they could use the back doors or the windows.

Whoever entitled Lan Xichen as Zewu-jun the nobleman has not seen this embarrassing side of him. Sure Wei Wuxian understands why Lan Xichen left them alone, he could at least act more mature. 

 

Being alone with Lan Zhan suddenly feels new to him. He doesn't know how to start the conversation when Lan Zhan refuses to look at him.  It makes him more anxious that Lan Zhan is wearing complete white with no hint of blue as though they were attending a funeral. 

 

“Ask him why he did not open the doors.” Wuming flurred from his shoulder. He was extremly displeased after learning that Wei Wuxian waited hours in the dark before his doors only to be neglected.

Wei Wuxian does not want to start the conversation with petty questions or demand answers, He starts with a simple, “Sorry.” 

Lan Zhan flinched but did not move his gaze from his fisted hands. 

“I know you're sick of hearing me apologizing, but really don't know what else to say. I know I made mistakes. I promise to never repeat those again…. I just… look at me please.”

Wei Wuxian almost cries. His breath hitched with tears threatening to spill out. “Back in the cold pond it really was a mistake, I did not mean to push you away. I was.. I wanted you to stay but-”

“I apologize as well.” Lan Zhan says. He does not meet Wei Wuxian's eyes. But he turned his body towards Wei Wuxian and that's one positive thing. Lan Zhan murmured in a guilt filled voice “I did not mean to walk in when you were bathing.” 

“No- that's-” As distressed as Wei Wuxian is he's not going to reveal the fact that he had an awfully hard boner at that time. “it's okay! I was not mad about it! You can walk in on me bathing any time you want!” 

Lan Zhan's eyes shoot up to him with a heavy “What?” 

Wei Wuxian was an emotional mess. He had no idea what he ended up saying while trying to hide the truth about his arousal. “I mean- uh- We're both boys so it's okay… I mean things like this happen quite often in the dormitory bath house.” 

“Disciples walk in while others are bathing?” Lan Zhan asked with a small disgusted and somewhat angry frown.

“It's really not a big deal between them. They even walk around half naked in the bath house lobby.” 

Lan Zhan's deep voice pitched up “Do you walk around half naked?” 

“No i- hey!" Wei Wuxian can't belive how easy it is to divert his attention, "that's not what we were supposed to be talking about now!!!”

Lan Zhan was looking at him at last. It felt natural until their fight. Now when Wei Wuxian finds those golden eyes looking at him he discovers himself filled with overwhelming joy. 

“Honestly,” Wei Wuxian huffs relived by the fact that Lan Zhan has his eyes on him, “Why were you so mad at me? It's been so long I can't even remember the exact reason.”

Lan Zhan huffs as well, “I was not mad. You keep distance from me.”

Wei Wuxian found the joke hilarious. If it's not a joke then he doesn't know what it is. “I keep distance? You are the one who refused to look at me and when I came to your house you did not even open the door!” 

Lan Zhan looked at him with confusion, “You were in my house.” Lan Zhan added with more confusion, “And you knocked on the doors?” When Wei Wuxian nodded, the boy added with a tentative deadpan voice, “You never knock on doors. You barge in through the windows.”

Embarrassment creeps up Wei Wuxian's face. Now that Lan Zhan mentioned it. It really was stupid of him to wait for the doors to open. It's not like him to wait or to knock. He cowers behind his hands out of the shame he brought upon himself, whining, “Still why did you not open the doors yesterday.” 

“I was not in there yesterday.”

“You- what?”

“I was not in Cloud recesses yesterday.”

Wei Wuxian feels even more dumb now. Even Wuming snickered at Wei Wuxian's foolishness. He had literally talked to a wall and cried himself to sleep. He can't show his face to anyone anymore. Wei Wuxian dissolves into the floor with humiliation. He groaned and whined and cried because he's a humongous fool, a big buffoon, imbecilic monkey, a brainless chicken. 

“Why,” Lan Zhan spoke in a hoarse voice, “Why were you there?” 

Is it  not obvious?

“I wanted to talk to you.” Wei Wuxian weakly replied, not raising his head up from the floors. 

“About…?”

Wei Wuxian felt the weight of Lan Zhan's hand atop his bowed head. How odd it is that a mere touch brings him so much solace. “Everything and anything.”

His overwhelming embarrassment cooled down. His heart was racing with a different kind of feeling. But he was oddly satisfied with that feeling.  Then he said because he can and it is the truth, “I missed you. I missed this. I missed us.” 

Wei Wuxian took the risk of peeking up at Lan Zhan and much to his surprise Lan Zhan was already looking at him. He finds it more fascinating now that he knows how it feels to not have those golden eyes on him. 

“Why did you not open the door yourself?” Lan Zhan asked with a hint of amusement in his tone. “Why didn't you send me a message?” 

“I…” Wei Wuxian tries to figure out an appropriate answer. Whatever reason he had back then sounded extremely stupid to him. Lan Xichen was right, he was hurting himself for no apparent reason. Wei Wuxian springs up, he's had enough floor time. He takes Lan Zhan's hands as gently as he can and asked,“Were you hurt?” 

Lan Zhan makes a face like he does not understand what Wei Wuxian was saying. Wei Wuxian repeated again more briefly, “Tell me everything that hurt you- anything that I did. I will be careful next time.” 

Lan Zhan averted his gaze. His eyes wandered to their joined hands, and thumb caressed the back of Wei Wuxian’s palm, over his jutting veins and knuckles. He doesn’t answer easily. And Wei Wuxian knows how long it'll take for the boy to speak his heart out. For he knows Lan Zhan struggles with words when they are connected deeply to his emotions. However long it takes, Wei Wuxian was always willing to listen, “Take your time, I'll wait for you.”

Moments pass by. Their incense sticks in the censer had almost burned out. Lan Zhan and him carried on a blissful silence. They kneeled facing each other. Their fingers intertwined to each other linking their warmth. They are close enough if not for the distance between their knees they'd be closer.

“You did not hurt me.” Lan Zhan murmured at one point of their shared silence. 

Wei Wuxian huffed, almost laughing off, “Don't lie now.” 

“Not a lie.” Lan Zhan determined. “You are free to do what you enjoy.” 

It's words like these that make Wei Wuxian doubt if Wuming and Lan Zhan are somehow connected. Their tones, their choice of words, even the arrangement of sentences are an acute match. Wei Wuxian can guess what Lan Zhan will say next. 

“I do not have the power to stop you.”

Yup! Exact match.

“Still!!” Wei Wuxian shook their combined hand, “You were upset, I have to know why you were upset.” 

He hears Lan Zhan hitch a breath. The tips of his ears grow red as he speaks, low and hesitant. “I'd like it if you spend more time with me.” 

“Yes, I'd love that too. But that's not what I wanted to know!!!” 

At last Lan Zhan snapped. He frowned and yelled with a bright red face, “You are close to Jiang Wanyin. You hurt yourself for Jiang Yanli, You're flirtatious with Wen Qing, You share a ride with Wen Qiongling. I feared you'll find a better friend than me.”

Wei Wuxian mimicked Lan Zhan's tone, “As if anyone can be better than you!”

Without thinking Wei Wuxian closed their distance with a tight hug. He's hugged Lan Zhan everyday since the day they first met. Hugging Lan Zhan was as essential as food, as easy as breathing. After weeks of distance hugging Lan Zhan feels brand new to him. He's rediscovered the joy of hugging the boy he calls his zijhi. He likes holding Lan Zhan in his arms, he likes being held in Lan Zhan’s arms. He likes being close to Lan Zhan so much that no matter how close they were, nothing felt enough. Wei Wuxian unconsciously crawled in Lan Zhan’s lap. He doesn’t want a hair breadth of gap between them. He needs their chest to be fused together if possible. He likes him, he likes Lan Zhan a lot. He liked Lan Zhan so much that his heart was about to explode. 

His heart was in another delima. No sooner had they embraced each other, Wei Wuxians heart rate increased unrhythmically. His heart pounded loudly like it did when he was near qi deviation. Previously when this happened he blamed himself and his risk full attempt at spiritual connection. That phenomenon was a weeks old story. Qi deviation had nothing to do with Wei Wuxian's heart rate. Wei Wuxian understood that the sporadic ups and downs of his heart were caused by Lan Zhan and his overwhelming desire to be with him.

Wuming’s teasing echoed in his head. That reptile always teased him for liking Lan Zhan, saying that Wei Wuxian was in love with. Wei Wuxian took them as jokes. 

Jokes should never be taken lightly.

Wei Wuxian knows for a fact that the amount of portrait he made of Lan Zhan, the amount of poetries he's written dedicated to Lan Zhan, the types of dreams he has of Lan Zhan, the shameful thoughts about Lan Zhan was for a reason. And that reason is the fact that he loves Lan Zhan… a lot.

 

"Madam Lan, please don't be mad at me.” Wei Wuxian begged in his head, “Please let me have your son. Please let me have this one person for all my life.”

The sudden realization of his feelings towards Lan Zhan doubles his heart beat. He feels his body hot as though on fire. And his body actually is on fire when Lan Zhan pulls out a burning talisman from his inner pockets. 

The talisman was to warn him if anyone broke the seal of his poetry copy. Wei Wuxian would be mortified if anyone reads his poems of yearning and shameless desires. Other than Lan Zhan no one's ever came into his room without his knowing. No one in Cloud recesses would touch his belongings, especially if it's sealed with a talisman. When he runs to his dorm with fear pounding behind his rib cage, he's alerted by strained looks by his fellow disciples. 

In his room are his neighboring seniors arguing with Wen Xu but the poetry copy is nowhere to be seen. They were requesting Wen Xu to leave the premises on his own accord, Wen Xu yelling at them, telling them they had no right to order him around.

“May I know what you are doing here,Young master Wen?” Wei Wuxian shouted at once. His room was a mess. Unlike his organized mess, the room looked like a storm went through it. His bookshelves were empty, his scrolls and copies were hurled here and there. All his clothes were tossed out of his chest. His study table was turned upside down, his mattress was rolled over. The small mirror Lan Zhan gifted him on his birthday was in pieces. The abacus shufu gave him was broken.

These past days he's avoided Wen Xu and Wen Chao like a plague in respect to Qingheng-jun's advice. But what Wen Xu did has crossed the limit to his patience. His blood boils in rage, if not for Lan Zhan holding him back Wei Wuxian would have launched a punch at that annoying graceless face. 

“Looking for what's mine.” Wen Xu says. He holds the book of poems Wei Wuxian wrote and starts reading it in front of everybody. 

“Don't read that!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed jerking Lan Zhan's hand off his wrist to get his book back. Wen Xu being older and taller than him was another disadvantage on top of him being the chief cultivator’s first son. If Wei Wuxian scratched him a little he would be risking not only him but his sect's reputation as well. He debates whether he let that guy humiliate him in front of everyone or risk everyone's peaceful days.

“Your action calls for severe punishment.” Lan Zhan declared. 

Wen Xu paid no heed to Lan Zhan, by his status and age he's not obliged to. Instead he said, “I'm sure the thing I'm looking for is here. And I know this little rat has the access to it.” 

“Do not call him that.” Lan Zhan pulled out bichen. Luckily he did not unsheathe his sword. Wei Wuxian does not want to see his soulmate fighting against the blood sucking worms of Jianghu. 

“Or what?” Wen Xu grins looking at the tip of Bichen's scabbard pointed towards his face. 

The atmosphere grew heavier around them. If Wei Wuxian doesn't do something quickly they might start fighting. 

“Young master Wen, I really don't know what you're looking for…” Wei Wuxian hastily pushes down Lan Zhan's hand, "it is definitely not in that." He tries to get a hold of his poetry copy but Wen Xu reacts before his hands could touch the paper.

“Tell me why this was sealed! What's written in it!” Wen Xu goes back to reading the pages of the poems he thinks of as code language. 

Just as Wei Wuxian feared, Wen Xu started reading out loud. 

“Hidden in the flutter of butterflies, beneath the ocean, above the clouds, None can see but me, what bullshit is this!” 

Blushing red Wei Wuxian cried out “Yes yes! It's full of bullshit and horsecrap, give me my pile of shit.!” attempting to take back what was his. His attempts failed once again. Wen Xu’s frontal veins pop up in anger. Lan Zhan pulls Wei Wuxian behind to glare at the older guy. Although Wei Wuxian is in a dire situation extremely close to public humiliation he could not stop himself from thinking how seductive Lan Zhan's glare is. He is absolutely fascinated by Lan Zhan's silently shielding him. Wei Wuxian, apparently, likes being protected. He's sure going to have embarrassing dreams about it.

 

Right on that moments the disciples in the dorm cheered a name, Zewu-jun.

Lan Xichen walked in Wei Wuxian's room with a fast pace that's borderline running. The man he's always seen smiling appeared with a tight frown. In Wei Wuxian's life at the Cloud Recesses he's never seen Lan Xichen truly, really, extremely angry.

Lan Xichen sounded just as angry as he looked, “You've crossed your limits.” 

Wen Xu does wilt a little before a person with the same status. They are of the same age and same height. It's easier for them to glare directly at each other. Regardless of Lan Xichen's appearance, Wen Xu does not back off. Rather he says with a smirk, “Wen Xu has no limits.” 

Lan Xichen yanks out Wei Wuxian's poetry book from Wen Xu’s hand, “Follow me to the sect leader. Accept your punishment.” 

Wen Xu complied to Lan Xichen's order with a wicked smile, “Oh my. I did not know there was a rule prohibiting guests from entering dorm rooms of lowly disciples.” 

“Do not regard my brother as a lowly disciple.”

“Wei Wuxian is not your brother.” Wen Xu scorned as soon as Lan Xichen finished. He then added another wicked grin, “Unless the rumors are true.” 

From the other side of the room Wei Wuxian is struck frozen. He isn't sure if he'd be standing still if Lan Zhan was not holding him. Rage and confusion bewildered him. He is Lan Xichen's brother by all means, by blood or not. Is it not natural to regard your sect sibling as your brother if the said sibling has been following you since the young age of five.

The disciple surrounding them has started whispering among themselves. Like Wei Wuxian, most did not know what rumor Wen Xu was talking about. It'd be disclosed sooner or later when it's something related to Wei Wuxian's unlikely status. 

“No gossip. Do not heed to rumors.” Lan Xichen loudly declared making the disciples in the dormitory Hall dead quiet. He ordered everyone to return back to their duties, handing Wei Wuxian his book of poetry. 

Wei Wuxian wanted to follow Lan Xichen to the sect leaders' hearing. Being the responsible big brother he advised them not to be involved in any way. Wei Wuxian wanted to object to his elder brother's wise decision. He is the victim and has all the rights to be involved in the hearing. Wuming and Lan Zhan were contradictory to his indignation. They requested him, Lan Zhan pleaded to focus on the state of his room, Wei Wuxian could not refuse him. 

The high low drift of emotions drained all his energy. He was not sad enough to cry out but he could not be particularly happy either. In all, he's glad that things with Lan Zhan mended out. His best friend helped him tidy up his room without being asked for. He does not ask what Wei Wuxian was trying to revive from Wen Xu’s hand, though most of the time his eyes lingered on the blank coverpage.

Wei Wuxian almost confesses the truth behind the book, what lies in those paper. Every time he tries to express his thoughts, the words get stuck on the back of his throat. The ghost of shyness possessed him every time he tried to bring up the topic of his love for dedicating poetry to him.

Wei Wuxian discards the idea after a few attempts. If Lan Zhan was so curious about the book he should just open it and take a look. It's not like Wei Wuxian is going to stop him. 

In the end neither had the confidence to bring up the mysterious book. They let the day end quietly in Wei Wuxian's small room. Lan Zhan making him tea, re-binding his notes in order, Wei Wuxian fixing his trinkets and articrafts.

Notes:

Yes Wen Qing studys psychology, no more core transplant! We're healing trumas baby

Wwx: *praying to Madam Lan not be mad at him for being gay for his son*
Madam Lan from the heavens: Marry🗣 my 🗣 son🗣
*
Wwx: oh disciple walk around half naked in our bath house :)
Lwj:*triggred* others have seen you naked before me?!
*
Wwx mind: hug Lan Zhan
Wwx body: must 🗿sit🗿on🗿his🗿thighs🗿
*
Nhs: I'm not even mentioned in this chapter? Why is Lwj not jealous of me????
Lwj:....I am 🤨
Me who forgot about him: he likes you,,, dw babe.

 

Anyways Thankyou for reading this slow updating fic ;-; exams just won't give me a break ♡

Chapter 39: Tranquility herewithin

“Is that not partiality?” Wei Wuxian groaned. 

At the end of the tiresome day he frequents Lan Qiren’s quarters to deliver his batch of night time tea. Time to time Lan Qiren hands him a pile of reports to check on his behalf. Wei Wuxian uses that excuse to ask about Wen Xu’s improvisation in his room. 

Following the rules Wen Xu should be publicly punished with a hundred hits of iron staff. Thus far Wei Wuxian had no news of such. Turned out Qingheng-jun overlooked the damage caused by him, letting Wen Xu off the hook with a simple copying punishment. 

Now, Wei Wuxian can be the appellant to change his previous decision but that'd make people think he does not trust his sect leader.

Lan Qiren briefs why Qingheng-jun had let Wen Xu be absolved of thievery. In their opinion, accusing the first young master of theft would be asking for inter-sect wars. Wen Rouhan has more power compared to the Lan sect and if he decides to harm the sect or clan any ways, blame would fall on Qingheng-jun and Wei Wuxian as well.

Wei Wuxian still thinks it's partiality to release Wen Xu of his guilt just because his father has more power. It is partiality of them to let Wen Chao venture out bunking his classes as he pleases. It is partially to warn the Wen heirs everytime they break rule. On top of that, they all know Wen heirs are actively seeking for the Yin iron shards in Cloud recesses. Today Wen Xu broke into Wei Wuxian's room and next he might break into Lan Qiren’s quarters for god's sake.

Wen Xu’s guess was right, if not completely.  Wei Wuxian does know the way to the Yin iron, he just does not have it written anywhere. 

“He can't get his hands on it.” Lan Qiren assured, “Unless he marries in the clan.” 

Wei Wuxian scoffs outrageously, “Why'd the first heir marry into the Lan clan, and who'd he marry?” 

Lan Qiren barely reacted to Wei Wuxian's poorly concealed rage. His eyes followed the reports, marking, annotating each line with red ink. Not looking at Wei Wuxian he says in a lighter tone, “Or he can send his most trusted spy in the clan as a bride.” 

Wei Wuxian finds the joke funny. “Which woman is brave enough to spy and loot in Cloud recesses under my watch?” 

“Zirui told me he saw you with Young lady Wen today.” 

Shit.. here he goes again…

Wei Wuxian hates that playful tone Lan Qiren uses. He knows what that old man was thinking and he absolutely hates it. “For someone who does not indulge in gossip you know too much. And Wen Ning was there too.” 

Lan Qiren rubs his goatee as though he understands, “Bond with brother in law is a must.” 

“Shufu!!!” Wei Wuxian grieved, abandoning the report he was marking. “That's not what we are. Wen Ning is a really good friend, please.” 

“He calls you “gege” as in big brother.” 

“Yes! Thats- ugh that's different!!” Wei Wuxian still does not know why Wen Ning prefers calling him Xian gege. He didn’t dislike it so he never complained. Who knew his boring old shufu would take it in a different way. “And why are you so invested in my marriage? I'm only sixteen. The only marriage you should be worried about is yours, you're.. what… forty and still unmarried!”

A vein pops up on Lan Qiren’s forehead,“I'm thirty four.” 

Wei Wuxian knows he sounds like elder Yan saying all this stuff but it shuts his shufu up so he'll count it as a win. 

Lan Qiren didn't stop there. He grumbled to himself how he's worried about Wei Wuxian's future with how he is entitled to be the number one ladies boy of Gusu. And how can he find a good daughter from a good family if they think of Wei Wuxian as a notorious flirt. The old man grieved how Wen Qing was brilliant at what she does, she's beautiful,  from a wealthy clan, a perfect candidate. Wei Wuxian doesn't care to listen and carefully marks all the reports he has.

“On the topic of her family,” Lan Qiren says louder and clearer, “Her and her brother Wen Qiongling came with a peculiar request this afternoon.” 

They apparently requested him to be a witness of their sect's deflection if war is to begin. He showed him the contract paper that mentioning about Wen Ruohan's possible sect invasion. As a sub branch of Wen sect they do not wish to be involved in the atrocities of their leader, and deflect as soon as possible. It is also to be noted that they cannot deflect from the sect whenever they pleases. Thus they request to wait, and hope to have the Lan clan by their side if circumstances calls for it. 

 

“You haven't signed it yet?” Wei Wuxian asked after reading the contract paper. 

“I can't jump to a conclusion just because of your friendship.” Lan Qiren stated pointingly. It is clear that Lan Qiren is only considering keeping the contract a secret from the clan only for the fact that they are Wei Wuxian's friends. And embarrassingly also because Lan Qiren thinks Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing make the perfect couple. It's the sole reason why Wei Wuxian hadn't brought up the copying talisman that Wen Qing fixed for him. 

“Do you…” Wei Wuxian hesitates before speaking, “really think a sect war is inevitable.” 

Lan Qiren grumbled. He sipped his tea rubbing his goatee pensively. The candle flames wavered like Wei Wuxian's heart. He hoped for Lan Qiren to answer positively, but the man shook his head in disdain. The way Wen Ruohan was couping up smaller sects was a sign the major sects ignored purposefully. Till now they refuse to take action against Wen Ruohan. 

Wei Wuxian hands over the reports he marked and wished Lan Qiren a good night. He could not stay much longer for curfew time, and he's glad for that. 

His thoughts were everywhere. The war, Wen Xu, Wen Chao, Wen Ning and Wen Qing’s proposal. 

 

“Does it make you afraid?” asked Wuming. 

“No-, I'm strong.” 

Wuming purred coiling around his neck, “It's okay to be afraid. You are just a child after all.” 

Wei Wuxian would like to disagree, he's sixteen and he's not a child but an adult. He's an adult with adult duties and he's sure he's forgetting something really really important. 

Just as he was pressing his memory to recall what he was forgetting, a fine young man stood before him. 

The young man is clothed in white with a hint of sky blue robe beneath his topmost layer. His hair was half knot  tied with a simple guan. The ribbon around his black hair swayed as elegantly as he walked. His face was pale and sculpted finely with sharp yet chubby cheeks. His eyes reflected Wei Wuxian's reflection like a beautiful bronze mirror showing the face of its owner's most beloved person. The young man moves his lips and utters a name with a sacred tenderness. “Wei Ying,” says the beautiful young man. 

Bestowed with  heavenly knowledge, Wei Wuxian remembers what he was forgetting. 

He is so deeply in love with Lan Zhan. Just the sight of him excites his heart with an abnormal increase of blood rush. He wants to embrace him and shy away at the same time. He doesn't know what to do. 

“Lan Zhan!” He says as if that will help him relax. 

“Come.”  Saying so, Lan Zhan held his and tugged Wei Wuxian towards Jingshi. He no longer asks Wei Wuxian to sleepover with him. Wei Wuxian stopped asking permission to sleepover years ago. They've not slept together for over a month now. Wei Wuxian wants to sleep with him but is afraid. For how his body reacts differently over the new realization of his feelings. 

“Aaaa- Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan- I can't.” Wei Wuxian ends up sputtering. 

Lan Zhan stops in his pace but doesn't let go of Wei Wuxian’s hand. He looked puzzled at Wei Wuxian's sudden change of behavior. Before, Wei Wuxian would be the one to lead him to Jingshi, Wei Wuxian would skip on his toes out of excitement at every sleep over. Saying no to sleeping with Lan Zhan has never crossed his mind, even now he does not want to say no. 

Yet Wei Wuxian says, “I have a few things to do before sleep. I just- I can't sleep with you tonight. Umm- i- I swear it's not because of you it's me.” 

Hearing Wei Wuxian nervous blabbering made Lan Zhan dejected. He slowly and very painfully let go of Wei Wuxian’s hand, not speaking a single word. 

Wei Wuxian nearly thought of taking his words back. He does not but give the boy a quick hug before running away to his dorm room. 

 

“Why did you do that?” Wuming says out of  bewilderment. 

“Why did I do that?” Wei Wuxian says equally as bewildered as Wuming.

He regrets his choice. He regrets not taking the chance of being with Lan Zhan. Yet he's intimidated by the idea being that close to Lan Zhan, it also excites him with nervousness. There are all sorts of feelings mixed up in his mind; he can't name any of it.

“Wuming what do I do….” Wei Wuxian wails hiding behind his hands. “I think I'm in love with Lan Zhan.” 

“Really?” Contrary to Wei Wuxian's bewailing, Wuming sounded absolutely delighted by the news.“You love him?” He asks as though he had not been teasing Wei Wuxian about it for years. 

Wei Wuxian was hysterical. He wanted to laugh and wail, he rolled on the floor, kicking his feet, throwing his hands in the air. He just did not know how to deal with this feeling of his. 

“Why are you crying here then?” Wuming wanted to know. 

To answer him, Wuxian whined more. If he knew the answer he'd not be thrashing his limbs in his dorm room floor like a half dead cockroach. The juniors leaving down his room knock back on the floor to show their annoyance at him. If Wei Wuxian continues his thrashing and crying a little longer disciples might knock on his doors demanding their much needed peaceful sleep. 

“What do I do…..” Wei Wuxian whined again. His face was steaming, hot tears stuck to the corners of his eyes, he's sure his face is as red as the ribbon on his hair. His muscles are tense, his stomach feels weird, his heart won't stop pounding beneath his ears. 

Wuming flies over his head and spouts the most dumbest thing a spiritual creature could say, “Go and confess to him.” 

Wei Wuxian throws a cushion at him. Though it passes through the flying blue snake, he finds it relaxing to throw stuff like he's throwing away his overwhelming emotions. “I can't do that!” 

“Why not?” Wuming asked because he's apparently really dumb. 

“I just can't!”

What was Wei Wuxian supposed to even confess? Like, hey Lan Zhan I know I've been your annoying best friend for decades, now I want to be your annoying boyfriend for centuries, even though I don't know if you're into men. What was Wei Wuxian supposed to do? While Lan Qiren was contemplating Wei Wuxian's relation with the Wen physician Wei Wuxian was busy being in love with his pure little nephew. 

Oh no… he can't. Wei Wuxian absolutely can't be in love with Lan Qiren’s nephew. He'll get disowned, it'll be a dishonor of the century. People will say Lan Qiren raised a wolf only to bring disaster upon his family. Lan Yan will have the last laugh if Wei Wuxian confessed his feelings for their second heir. 

And what if Wei Wuxian's feelings aren't reciprocated. What if Lan Zhan gets offended, what if he stops talking to him and avoids him. What if their decades of friendship breaks up because Wei Wuxian couldn’t keep it in his pants. 

His feelings are not strictly bound to his physical desires. Sure his body reacts differently when Lan Zhan is near. Sure he finds Lan Zhan's broad shoulders and hard chest really really attractive, his hands are veiny and arms are strong, Wei Wuxian's felt the muscles of his biceps and thighs. Sure Wei Wuxian gets dreams beyond shameless, his thoughts are recently adulterated with erotic imagination thanks to the pornbooks. But it's really not about his physical desires. 

If Wei Wuxian is ever conditioned to never be physically intimate with Lan Zhan were they to be in a different level of relationship, he would comply to it. If that one condition allows Wei Wuxian to have Lan Zhan for the rest of his life, Wei Wuxian can practice celibacy. It's not like it's difficult or something.

What Wei Wuxian believes to be difficult is to concede with the thought of Lan Zhan giving his undivided attention to someone else, his legally wedded wife precisely.  As a man from a noble family Lan Zhan has to be married to a noble woman today or tomorrow. If that day is to ever come Wei Wuxian is afraid of what he'll do. He can't share Lan Zhan with anyone. He can't let some random person have memories of Lan Zhan's first experiences. He doesn’t want Lan Zhan to look at someone else with tenderness or intense desire. Wei Wuxian wants to be the only person of affection. He has been  the only one to make Lan Zhan happy, sad, angry and every other emotions in between. How can he not be the person to make Lan Zhan mad with lust and longing. He should be the only one to see how Lan Zhan's lustful face looks, how'd he be driven with passion and pining. If he can't have that, how can he let anyone else have it.

He can either leave the Cloud Recesses to roam around the world aimlessly or get rid of Lan Zhan's wife. He absolutely can not harm Lan Zhan's wife, he can't do that to his best friend. He'll rather hurt himself. 

Wei Wuxian is surprised he can hold animosity towards someone who he has yet to know. And it's not even plain animosity, his thoughts are cruel and goresome to the point that he makes himself sick. He didn’t know he was capable of resenting someone that he'd resort to torture and murder. He never even had such thoughts about Shu she and Wei Wuxian hates him the most in the whole world. 

 

Wei Wuxian fears himself. He doesn’t have the guts to confess, he doesn’t want anyone else to have Lan Zhan's love either. 

What should he do? Should he confess and get rejected by Lan Zhan? That way he can console his heart that he tried. And when the war begins Wei Wuxian can jump in front of the Wens and they'll end his suffering.

Right, he should die honorably. He better ask Wen Ning to pretend to join the war and stab him in the guts, Wei Wuxian would rather prefer dying in Wen Ning’s hand than dying by some random Wen cultivator's sword. 

He's got everything planned. 

“Terrible plan.” Wuming shaked his head with disdain.

“Was I saying all that out loud?” 

“Mumbled, incoherent.” 

“Please pretend not hearing.” 

“Mn, did not hear.” Wuming played along with Wei Wuxian's request, but also added, “But no dying.” 

 

Although Wuming said he'll pretend not hearing Wei Wuxian, he gainsaid a lot about it. 

He assured Wei Wuxian of each of his doubts. Repeated many times how his feelings are mutual and Lan Zhan would never reject him. Wuming thinks marriage is not important for Lan Zhan as if elders like Lan Yan and Lan Liu do not exist. In Wumings opinion, fearing societal obligations will only cause him suffering and regrets of a time. 

Wei Wuxian is told to follow his heart's desire. While Wei Wuxian would love to, his heart was not helping him provide an apprehensive desire. His heart says Wei Wuxian should confess and disappear from the face of earth, his heart says wait till the feelings disappear, his heart says he's young and confusing himself. 

“You can figure it, I believe in you.” Wuming nuzzles and purrs like a happy cat. 

Wei Wuxian wished he felt the same. Wei Wuxian wished he had someone- an actual person to consult his fears and doubts. He wanted a second person's opinion. 

Lan Xichen could not be trusted. Wei Wuxian can't vent to him without him making a huge drama out of it. 

His seniors are good, trustful. But Wei Wuxian only ever goes to them unless he's dying or extremely bored. 

Mianmian is not reliable. She'll tell everything to Lan Zhan the moment Wei Wuxian utters a word.

Nie Huaisang is out of the question, the whole Jianghu will end up knowing

Wen Ning comes to his mind. But the boy was only fourteen or so. Wei Wuxian considered him too young to drag him into a complicated love affair. He's also too supportive to be a good consultant. He will kidnap Lan Zhan if Wei Wuxian told him to. 

Wen Qing… Well… she is… too tough. 

The only person Wei Wuxian could think of was Jiang Yanli. She was trustable, reliable, kind, gentle and supportive of Wei Wuxian. She's smart, wise, and empathetic. 

But he's not sure he can tell her anything without panicking first. 

Wei Wuxian barely slept that night. His thoughts were one after another theoretical explanation why he should cease to exist and why love is not what the books said it is. 

He is high on alert. Afraid that people will guess the reason behind Wei Wuxian exhaustion correctly. Though no one noticed the dark circles under his eyes, it always catches the attention of this one person. 

Lan Zhan enquired about  his tiredness as soon as Wei Wuxian came to his view. They were about to sit for breakfast in the hall, where Lan Zhan sits beside him. He looked at Wei Wuxian with his big golden judgmental eyes and Wei Wuxian thinks he does not need breakfast to wake him up. He does not think it's a healthy sign to become a complete mess as soon as Lan Zhan is looking at him. He can't even make up a lie to that beautiful face. Wei Wuxian wants to be honest to him, if he lies he'd consider himself a deceiver.  Even so, being honest wasn't easy. 

He barely managed to escape with a half true “Too much thoughts.” and kept his silence while eating. Wei Wuxian knows his soul mate is aware of his made up half truths half lies. There is more to the exceeding thoughts than Wei Wuxian lets him to be known. Regardless, Lan Zhan does not enforce questions on him with judgment. He lets Wei Wuxian be, though a little more dejected from his side. 

Wuming kept pestering him to let his emotions be known to the boy, to confess what he felt. Precariously, his celestial little friend was more excited to learn of his love for Lan Zhan than him, the owner of that feeling. 

Wei Wuxian on the other hand kept pausing him. He distracts himself from being gravitated to Lan Zhan every moment. When he does find himself near Lan Zhan, he ends up being the same old flablagestared mess spouting nonsense. 

 

Wen Ning is the next person to catch on to his different behavior. He's suddenly checking Wei Wuxian's temperature and pulse asking why the rate is higer than what is considered normal. Wei Wuxian jokes, given the way things are going, that abnormal rate might as well be considered normal for him. 

“That's not healthy.” Wen Ning doesn't get his joke, or simply refuses due to his physician instinct. “And you're running away from Lan er gongzi as soon as you go near him. Are you having a fight again? Higher blood flow can be caused by emotional dysregulation.” 

Wei Wuxian is surprised how acute his observations are. He guessed the best archers have keen eyes but it'd also be embarrassing if he starts questioning him of his emotions. “I have much more important questions to ask,” 

Saying so, Wei Wuxian turns the conversation to a different route. He asks Wen Ning of their sect's deflection and why they are so sure about leaving a promising safety. 

“I'm trying what I can to save my family.” Wen Ning answers.  “I'm not depending on Lan clan to offer us sanctuary during war. Neither do I fully trust Master Lan to be an advocate of our defected sect, I'm sorry.” 

It doesn't sit  well  in Wei Wuxian's stomach that someone like Wen Ning disbelieves Lan Qiren’s authority. He might not be the leader of Lan clan but he is the grand master of the Lan clan, best  known for his righteousness. Then again, Wen Ning is not obligated to trust anyone when they are supposed to be on the opposite side of the field. 

“But you did trust shifu out of all the major sects leaders.” Wei Wuxian still mentioned.

Wen Ning smiles, “You're with him.” 

It's a puzzle for Wei Wuxian. How come Wei Wuxian's existence causes someone to trust another person? 

“Are you enlightened with the knowledge of the impending future as well?” Wei Wuxian asked at last. He knows Wen Ning is somewhat similar to Song Xichen and Nie Mingjue. Entitled to change the future of unfortunate souls. 

The smile Wen Ning gave was telling. Yes, he knows things average people don't know. And maybe that's why this humanification of gentleness acted years older than his age. 

Wei Wuxian leans backwards, gazing at the blue. He wished he could solve the mystery of this clairvoyance. Though the biggest mystery- Wuming- lies on his head, literally, figuratively. 

Wei Wuxian would say it was a precognitive dream or a mass delima. But what would describe the existence of Wuming and the fact that no one sees him other than certain delusional people. Moreover, Wei Wuxian is not blessed with the knowledge of the future like every other delusional person, and he hates it very much. He'd like to know what happens in the future. Whether he and Lan Zhan ever become something more than friends. If yes, how? If not, why? 

“Hey Wen Ning,” Wei Wuxian hopes he does not regret it, “Uhhhhhh…. Can Xian gege get a hint of who he marries in that foretold future of yours.” 

Wuming huffs his flurring his spinal furrs, wagging his tail. Wen Ning giggles at the show. The Wen boys' eyes wrinkled as they squinted with delight. “I'd say, You should go for the one in your heart.” 

Wei Wuxian felt like a young shy maiden caught with her lover red handed. He started sputtering nonsense with no coherent thoughts. “I did not say I have any in my heart! It was out of curiosity! Curiosity. Can't a man be curious about his love life?! I really don't have anyone to pursue! Really!!.” 

“Alright, I believe you.” Wen Ning laughed. He did not believe in Wei Wuxian.

“Hey!” Wei Wuxian muses, “Is that why you're so aggressive towards Jiang Cheng?” 

The delight in Wen Ning’s eyes dies at the mention of Jiang Cheng. His abhorrence towards Jiang Cheng is clear like filtered water. Wen Ning nodded slightly with dismay and Wei Wuxian was sure that aggressive boy had badly hurt Wen Qing in the foretold future. Otherwise Wen Ning is not a person to hate anyone. 

“Jokes aside,” Wen Ning says with a lighter note, “I am sorry on behalf of Wen Xu.” The boy kept apologizing for what Wen Xu did. He assured that Wen Xu was searching for the Yin irons.  Wen Ning and Wen Qing were told to be spies for they are less suspicious. Wen Qing was told to befriend Wei Wuxian, to get intel out of him. Though neither of the two siblings complied to their young master they were guilty of being a part of their plan. “But I had no choice either. We had to pretend be his subordinate to have access to cloud recesses.” 

Wei Wuxian understands the fear and guilt behind that wavering voice. Had the boy told him of their request to support them during difficult times, Wei Wuxian would have done everything in his power to do so. 

Wei Wuxian does as Wen Ning advised him. Pursue for the one in his heart without being afraid of failing. He feels silly for thinking consulting with Wen Ning won't be helpful. What Wei Wuxian needed was not consultation but a little encouragement. Wuming was not particularly glad, saying he did more than Wen Ning. Wei Wuxian won't deny Wuming encourages him any less. It's just…. Its a little different with Wen Ning. 

 

Before the gates of Jingshi, under the same old moon, Wei Wuxian's heart pounded as it always does, loud and almost bursting out of his rib cage. He lets his heart pound, there will be no end to this. Wei Wuxian only has to get accustomed with the new changes. He takes in a deep breath before jumping in the Jingshi through the window, like he had done for the past years. The rooms are lit with a few candle lights illuminating each corner. Lan Zhan was seated before his study table in his bed chamber, writing the day's works. He had noticed Wei Wuxian stepping in the room but remained undisturbed. 

Wei Wuxian sneakily tip toes to the table seating across the beautiful boy. His hair was let loose of his guan, the strands fall over to shadow his forehead. The candle lit on the table top radiates a yellowish glow on his pale jade skin. His long eyelashes flutter with each blink like Wei Wuxian's heart was fluttering in each beat. 

He's beautiful, Wei Wuxian pondered. If Wei Wuxian smiled and Lan Zhan's eyes wandered up to his lips, they don't trouble each other mentioning it. 

“Not running away anymore,” Lan Zhan mumbled, his voice soothing as a song. His eyes fixed at the paper he writes.

“Nope.” Wei Wuxian giggled, resting his face on the folds of his arms, resting above the table. 

“Surprising.” Lan Zhan jokes. 

“You know how weird I can get at times.” Wei Wuxian joked as well. 

“Any particular reason to be here?” Lan Zhan raised a brow, gaze fixed to the ink brush. 

Wei Wuxian shifted from resting his head on the table top to sitting properly. He tapped his fingernails on the wooden surface, following the steps of dizi. He knows Lan Zhan is holding a grudge over his avoidance right after promising he won't repeat his mistakes. Wei Wuxian doesn't say sorry, he feels like a sorry will make it worse. Instead of apologizing he says, “I wanted to talk.” 

“About?” 

“Anything…. and everything.” 

Lan Zhan's eyes shot back up slowly. There was a hint of a smile on his lips. Although Wei Wuxian's heart skipped a few beats at the sight, he could not but smile brightly to his best friend. 

“Change, I'll be done soon.” Lan Zhan says, holding his smile back. 

Wei Wuxian swiftly does so. Changing in his inner garments, hair loose of its ponytail. Suibian rest beside Bichen, Chenqing rest beside Wangji. 

Wei Wuxian unties the plain white forehead ribbon, carefully folding it near the pillow. For Wei Wuxian need no restrain to be with his Zijhi. His heart belongs to Lan Zhan, and will only calm down when his soulmate is beside him. 

They talk about everything.. Wei Wuxian talks mostly, about all that happened with Sheé and Suibian in the spiritual void. If they talk past their designated gazing at each other softly no one can punish them, no one has the proof of it other than  them. 

Wei Wuxian discovered, his heart seeks tranquility not silence. That is only possible to be as close to Lan Zhan as possible, be embraced by his warmth and the sweet fragrance of his sandalwood incense. 

Notes:

If I ever mentioned Lan Qiren’s age in the previous chapter and got his age wrong in this chapter, please pretend I got his age right. He's supposed to be in his mid thirties during the study arc. The same age as Canon lwj in the first chapters and the kids are the same age as the juniors.

If I've not mentioned it before, I'll say it again, the coming of age is considerably early for the ear it is supposed to be. If Wei Wuxian is sixteen then he's an young adult.
At first I wanted Wei Wuxian to consult his feelings with Jiang Yanli. But as you can see, Wen Ning different plan. He really said Wwx is my big bro and I'm the only safe space for him. After lwj.

Lwj: *Fearing his younger self will be possessive over wwx*
Wwx as soon as he's in love: if I don't get to have Lan Zhan, no one can! If it means bloodshed, then bloodshed it is. Idc if it's mine or others.
Lwj: oh,
Freak4freak is so tasty when Wangxian flavored.
Well, anyone who thought they'll be together as soon as they realise their love each other they'll get freaky in the bed forgot to consider they both grew up with Lan morals and Wei Wuxian is very sensitive when it comes to romance. And now his romantic head is influenced by the romantic freaks of Lan clan, he'll be extra shy of every thing. (I love shy wwx)
No more jokes, tyy<3

Chapter 40: Early summer in a small town

Notes:

Another not-date date

Waking beside Lan Zhan was nothing out of the ordinary for Wei Wuxian's life. Years after years they lived their simple domestic life in harmony and amity. Their morning routines followed quite mundane chores. Lan Zhan tenderly calling his name, josleting him awake, “Wei Ying wake up.” 

Wei Wuxian whining, “A little more,” waking up regardless. By the time Wei Wuxian's eyes adjusted to the natural light of Jingshi, Lan Zhan had washed his face, tied his hair, worn his second layer of robes over his inner garments. Wei Wuxian would yawn and walk to the basin, wash his face, gurgle his throat clean while making awfully annoying singing attempts. Lan Zhan found that awful gurgling song funny since childhood, and Wei Wuxian was fond of the smile. After washing his face Wei Wuxian went to the big silver mirror placed over Lan Zhan's low cabinet, brushed his tangled hair, pull up a ponytail, tie around his favorite red ribbon over it, and the plain white ribbon over his forehead beneath his puffed fringes. During the course of his adorning, Lan Zhan would always- always sit at the corner of his bed. His reflection on the side mirror, gazing at Wei Wuxian almost amorous but courteously. If Wei Wuxian ever turned his head back to look at him, Lan Zhan would meekly avert his gaze out the window pretending to look over the peony bush.

Wei Wuxian never gave it a deeper thought other than being playful. 

And maybe he should start doing so. 

After he's dressed himself properly, him and Lan Zhan would sit out on the back porch of the Jingshi, meditated together peacefully. They'd quitely breathe in and breathe out, clear their mind of worldly worries until Wei Wuxian's stomach growls for breakfast. 

After breakfast they have to either join their morning class, or practice, then either  one has a different assigned duty to fulfill. Their path separates for the day. 

“Do you have plans this afternoon?” Lan Zhan asked before they walked in opposite directions. He stands close to Wei Wuxian discreetly clutching on the hem of his draping sleeves, tugging Wei Wuxian closer. His bright hopeful eyes bore into Wei Wuxian's silver one, looking past him throughout his soul. It is as if he does not want their paths to separate today or ever. And if that gaze spurs thunder in Wei Wuxian's heart he dances along with its roars.

“I don't!” Wei Wuxian chirpped exuberantly. He squirmed a little closer than they were before, their chests shy away from crashing. Giggles of his fellow disciples perk up his ears. They joke past their way, fake groaning, saying things like, “ugh there they go again,” someone probes, “Their fight’s over,” someone audibly rolls their eyes, “took them long enough.” Someone cheered, “Congratulations on your patching up again!” one of the senior disciples adds a follow up, “it's their thirty sixth patch up.” A group of mannerly laughter comes with a perplexed question, “you've been keeping track?”

 

Wei Wuxian gets his attention back to Lan Zhan as the disciples' voice gets further. Lan Zhans ears were burning red and Wei Wuxian was sure his face was no different. He let out a tittering laughter, “You were saying?” 

Lan Zhan cleared his throat with a small muted cough, “Let's go to Caiyi Town, if you're not busy.” 

Wei Wuxian unconsciously stares at the way Lan Zhan's larynx bobs up and down, vibrating slightly during the act of muted cough. His mouth salivates to lick that jutted area the same way he does looking at a sour candy.

“Of course!” Wei Wuxian reminds himself to look at Lan Zhan's face while speaking. “Pick me up if I forget.” 

 

It's unimaginable sometimes, the thought of losing this shared mundane endeavor. Won't Lan Zhan be just as disturbed to lose it as Wei Wuxian would be. In his heart, he knows Lan Zhan will be more than disturbed to have his routine changed.  Despite his beliefs, fear crawls its way to Wei Wuxian's mind. Wei Wuxian, each time, pushes it down the rugs.

It was early noon of early summer, Cloud Recesses was starting to get warmer. Jiang Cheng once boasted how Gusu’s heat was nowhere near Yunmeng's heat. Wei Wuxian would have agreed if he didn't see Jiang Yanli's forehead beaded with sweat. She came all the way from  the female's courtyard to the library speed walking fast enough to not be called running just because she had a good news to share.

Wei Wuxian caught up to her on the library balcony, from where he could keep an eye on the penalized disciples copying their rules. 

“Relax, relax, I have time for you.” Wei Wuxian smiled, wiping the sweat from her forehead with light dabs of his sleeves. Jiang Yanli was heaving to catch her breath, face red and warm. She warily glanced inside the library room to where Jin Zixuan was seated. The Jin Young master pretended as though he didn't see her. 

“Do you want to talk to him first?” Wei Wuxian asked. It's only natural to want to share a good news to one's fiancé before a friend from a different sect. Although, Wei Wuxian has doubts if he ever saw Jin Zixuan interact with Jiang Yanli, let alone greet. Jin Zixuan is an antisocial person in Wei Wuxian's opinion. He's never seen the peacock greet or bow to any of the heirs of his age. Each time Wei Wuxian greeted the peacock, he received nothing but a small head jerk from him. Just as Wei Wuxian avoided Wen Xu and Wen Chao, Jin Zixuan avoided Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli like plague. And he's not stupid to not know the reason behind it. Despite how hard Wei Wuxian tries not to stir up nonsense rumors about him serenading Young Miss Jiang, they pop up at the smallest eye contact they make.

Jiang Yanli shook her head. “If you're busy I can visit later.” her excited smile stiffens. 

Wei Wuxian did not like how her bright exuberant face morphed with worry. She is aware of the rumors spread about him and her. She knows she can't be seen with Wei Wuxian even if the rumors aren't true. But this was the Cloud Recesses, one can't get away spreading and believing baseless rumors. So Wei Wuxian huffed, “Later won't be fun. You were excited about something. Tell me now, it'll be okay.” 

Jiang Yanli sighed, knowing she can't control the rumors either. She walked forward, a place where she can't be seen from the room with a wall blocking Jin Zixuan's line of sight. That line of sight allows Jin Zixuan to see Wei Wuxian standing and talking to her, just enough to show that they were doing nothing more than just that.

Wei Wuxian does not want Jin Zixuan or any other disciples to think he has interest in an already engaged woman- or any woman at all. What can he do to make them believe? Be rude to her? He can't be rude to anyone without an appropriate reason, nevermind someone as kind as Jiang Yanli. 

“I…” Jiang Yanli's toothy smile returns. She glows brightly as she exclaimed, “I won our sparring sessions. All of them!” 

It takes a few blinks for Wei Wuxian to comprehend the gravity of her achievement. Jiang Yanli had an above average core. Her physical stamina isn't as good as the female Lan cultivators Wei Wuxian knows, but she isn't weak either. Had she not struggled with her spiritual tools, she would have won several night hunts, sparring sessions and competitions whatever you name it. The enormity hit, and Wei Wuxian loudly cheered for her achievement like any good friend would. Wei Wuxian almost shed tears now that the little risk he took for her was worth her smiles. 

In his cheerful praises when Wei Wuxian exclaimed, “I'm so proud of you!” Jiang Yanli acts startled out. She gaped at Wei Wuxian like she was not expecting Wei Wuxian to be proud at all. 

She stutters looking dreadful. Saying stuff like she didn't do much, it was just one sparring session, she wouldn't have won had Wei Wuxian not helped him, Wei Wuxian had nothing to be proud of. 

Wei Wuxian leaned on the gates of the library, crossing his arms over his chest, resting his head on the wall. Wei Wuxian gets a hint that like most disciples, Jiang Yanli isn't fairly appriciated for her hard work. He doesn’t understand why most adults prefer overlooking their children's diligence. Is it too much to praise a little? “You did wonderful. All I did was to give you a little helping hand.”

“At the cost of your health.” Jiang Yanli promptly replied. “Compared to what A-Xian did for me, I have done nothing to be proud of.” 

“On what scale are you comparing?” 

Jiang Yanli strains to find proper words, “That- you… I'm not the best.” 

Wei Wuxian huffs, “You will be.” 

Jiang Yanli gaped at Wei Wuxian again. It has started to look funny on her. Wei Wuxian couldn’t stop himself from giggling. Just before he can make a comment on her hanged jaw, a person crashes against him.

The person that crashed- intentionally pushed- Wei Wuxian was none other than the fiancé of the woman he was talking to. Wei Wuxian thanked the heaven for his strong stature. Had he not been strong enough to withhold Jin Zixuan's push, he'd have stumbled above Jiang Yanli. And that would be awkward. 

“Hey! Young master Jin,” Wei Wuxian calls trying not to show his irration, “Your precepts-” 

“Completed.” says Jin Zixuan having no courtesy to look back. 

Once he's out of sight Wei Wuxian mumbled with slight annoyance, “What a pompous brat, how'd you fall in love with him?” 

When Wei Wuxian said it, he only meant it at a surface level with no intent for deeper damage. He didn’t expect Jiang Yanli to give a hurtful expression. Before Wei Wuxian could take back his words, Jiang Yanli absent mindedly asked, “How do you know you love someone?”

Her question caught Wei Wuxian of gaurd. She doesn't look like a person who'd ask such question with pain hidden behind her expressionless eyes. Wei Wuxian always saw her surrounded by blossoms and petals. She looked like the type of girl who daydreams of a fairy tale love. She's kind with her words, gentle and caring. Everyone should love her, platonic or romantic. How could she not know what love is?

“I gues…” Wei Wuxian stares at the same direction Jiang Yanli was blankly staring at, the place where she last saw her fiancé. “You just know it.” 

Jiang Yanli's lips curved like a smile, but it could hardly be called a smile. She asked, “Why'd anyone love someone? Is that not like putting a leash on your neck?”

It was a peculiar question. Wei Wuxian couldn’t find an appropriate answer to give her. You love someone because you can't unlove them, he thinks. He doesn't think loving someone is a choice. Had he the opportunity to choose, he'd not have chosen his best friend- actually never mind. Given a choice or not, Wei Wuxian would have loved Lan Zhan anyways. But this wasn't about him or Lan Zhan, this was about Jiang Yanli. A young woman who thought loving someone was being confined. As a person with a romantic heart, Wei Wuxian could not agree with her. He could not figure out why she thought of love as a self sabotaging trap.

“I can't quite agree with you.” Wei Wuxian muttered shifting his weight from one leg to another. “Growing up, I saw love as a wing of freedom.” 

Jiang Yanli frowned, “freedom?” 

Wei Wuxian hummed, “Mn, I remember Mama and baba being in love. They were free of worry and sorrow. Here in Cloud recesses, I saw my shibo loving a woman despite a world of difference. But when they are together I find no difference in them. Shibo lets his guard down with her, free of the duties he is bestowed with. One of my Shixiong is in love with a mischievous woman. When I see them together, I see him free of the clan rules, laughing and playing. Sure there are people with a tragic end but they never speak of it as a tragey, rather they hold them like precious memory. I think loving someone is feeling safe without being confined.”

Once Wei Wuxian finished, he noticed the emptiness in Jiang Yanli's eyes were gone. Her eyes were glistening but she's not crying either. She smiled softly in a relaxed manner. Her eyes are no longer fixed at the corner where Jin Zixuan left. Like an act of moving on, Jiang Yanli moved her gaze to the magnolia tree shading the library pavilion. The white petals in full bloom, carrying a sweet fragrance with the breeze. She smiled no less sweeter, and sheepishly asked, “Is that how you knew you're in love?” 

Wei Wuxian was dumbfounded by her question. His first instinct is always to deny,  flablagestared squirming with blush tinted face. He was fooling nobody like that. He gave in, “How'd you know I'm in love?”   who he was in love with, was left unspoken. 

“Well,” Jiang Yanli bit her lips to stop herself from laughing at Wei Wuxian's foolishness, “I just know it.”

It's Wei Wuxian's words thrown back at Wei Wuxian. He whined because it's unfair to bully him. 

Jiang Yanli cackled. She leaned her weights against the wall, gazing softly at the sky  through the blossomed magnolia branches. “How can I not see love.” Her eyes flicker to Wei Wuxian, “When you are with your lover you glow brighter than the full moon, capable of turning the darkest nights bright like daylight.” She carefully does not name Wei Wuxian's lover, “When your lover is with you he shines like the first ray of sun after the worst of winter, thawing thickest of the snows.”

Jiang Yanli says as if reciting poetry, “And when you two are together, love seams out your pores. Together you become a light too dazzling to look at.” 

Wei Wuxian's heart speeds up at notations. He feels exposed vulnerable to her. Yet he does not tuck himself away from the truth. He does indeed love Lan Zhan, and he wants everyone to know it. “But I don't know- I'm not quite sure if my lover loves me back.” 

Jiang Yanli gasps, “A-Xian, how can you not be sure!” 

“Well-” Wei Wuxian doesn't like the way Wuming huffs, “He did not say anything like that. And..  We've been like this since childhood, since the first day we met.” 

“Must love be voiced?” Jiang Yanli whispered uncertainly. 

“Truth must be.” Wei Wuxian answered in the same tone but ten times more certain. 

If Lan Zhan loves him, he must let Wei Wuxiana's ears hear it. It goes both ways like a double edged sword. If Wei Wuxian loved him, he'd let Lan Zhan's ears hear him utter the truth word by word. Jiang Yanli asked the same, had he spoken the truth yet. And the ultimate truth is, Wei Wuxian is a coward afraid to speak the truth until he is one-hundred percent sure their feelings are mutual. Which also goes both ways because Lan Zhan is terrible at forming his feelings into words. If this goes on, neither are going to confess because they both share the same brain cells and are equally dumb. 

“Why don't you try something else.” Jiang Yanli suggested. She believed in terms like “show before you tell.” 

She suggests spending time with him as much as possible. 

Which Wei Wuxian already does.

She suggests helping him out with chores and duties, make work easy for him, minimize his load when he's tired or sick.

Which Wei Wuxian already does. 

She suggested giving him gifts, craft little trinkets for him, buy him his favorite whatever he likes. 

Which- begrudgingly- Wei Wuxian already does.

Everything Jiang Yanli suggested, Wei Wuxian does and has been doing for as long he has known Lan Zhan. 

“Nevermind I said anything.” Jiang Yanli heaves the longest sigh known to humankind. She left Wei Wuxian in the library with an impassive but defeated face. 

If it was Wei Wuxian in her place, he'd have punched himself way earlier.

The more Wei Wuxian thinks, the harder it gets. 

It is a universal truth that the sole person on the receiving end of Lan Zhan's affection is Wei Wuxian. Not even Lan Xichen gets treated the same way Wei Wuxian does, he's heard him complain many times to disbelief.

But what if that affection is from a platonic aspect and not a romantic sort of aspect. 

Then again, everything Jiang Yanli suggested- what a person does for their lover- Lan Zhan has been doing them for years after years as well. 

While Wei Wuxian loves the platonic relation they have, he'd also love it if romance developed between them. He'll very much appreciate it if Lan Zhan let him kiss his hands, and cheeks, and wherever Wei Wuxian wants. He'd thank each and every deity if Wei Wuxian gets kissed by Lan Zhan as well. Would it be too much to ask for a little kiss on the lips?  

Wuming keeps telling him it is possible if he takes the initiative. 

That's where the problem lies. Wei Wuxian can't take the initiative steps. Why should he be the one to take the first step if Lan Zhan also feels the same? Should Lan Zhan not man up and do whatever he wants to do to Wei Wuxian!

“You should take the responsibility. Are you not the older one?” Wuming criticized him for his lack of confidence. 

“This has nothing to do with age!” Wei Wuxian defended himself. 

Wuming is one big hypocrite to judge him for his lack of confidence when that little coward failed to confess his love to his lover more pathetically than Wei Wuxian has. He doesn’t know every detail. From bits and pieces Wuming shared him, Wei Wuxian knows what he needs to know. Wuming didn't even realize his feelings for the better half of his life because it's not common to fall in love with someone of the same gender. 

And hey, Wei Wuxian realized his feelings without anyone's help, mind you. 

Wuming didn't even talk to his lover properly let alone confess. Wei Wuxian doesn't compare himself with that. 

Wuming had the same fears Wei Wuxian has, as cut-sleeves it'd definitely ruin their reputation. Regardless of the collapsing reputation, Wei Wuxian wants to try it. He wants to kiss Lan Zhan really really bad.

He knows what Wuming says is out of good will. He has regrets of his life and no one would want to see other's make the same mistakes they did.

 

Wei Wuxian is trying his best to make his love for Lan Zhan apparent. He's not sure if it's working at all. For instance, when Lan Zhan came to pick him up from his training in that afternoon, Wei Wuxian had ran to hug him really tight. He held Lan Zhan's hand from all the way to Caiyi Town with their sides glued to each other. He offered to pay for anything Lan Zhan wanted to buy. He keeps Lan Zhan's safe from bumping into people. He asks people to make way for them when the crosswalk gets too crowded. And he's falling short on ideas because whatever he did, is similar to what he's been doing for years. His actions don't stand out from the general lackluster in performance. 

 

 

“Your pocket mirror was broken,” says Lan Zhan standing before an illustrative shop selling exceptionally artistic furniture, jewelleries, and altogether expensive craftsmanship. 

Wei Wuxian never lacked the money to buy anything expensive. He just didn't feel the need for it. Lan Zhan was no different. Whatever they owned was of the finest quality but never extravagant. Owning anything to show off riches was highly discouraged in the Lan clan. 

“Yo- you're not saying we buy one- from here!?” 

“From here.” 

But there they were, standing in a shop of gold and jades. Every little piece shined like stars, even the dark lacquered woods. Wei Wuxian's eyes fell on the mirror similar to the gift Lan Zhan gave him on his birthday. The gift Lan Zhan gave was a pocket sized mirror, framed in lacquered sandalwood. The wooden cover was intricate with lotuses and frogs lying on lotus pods giving it a whimsical but adorable appearance. The mirror on the shop was exactly the same.

When Lan Zhan gave him the mirror, it was just a pocket mirror to Wei Wuxian. Who would have thought that small mirror was from a chivalrous shop costing more than Wei Wuxian's monthly allowance. 

“Why did you not tell me it was expensive.” Wei Wuxian complained in a little angry but whiny manner, “I'd have taken better care of it!”

The dealer behind the stalls beat Lan Zhan in answers, “Aiyaa, that was for you young master? I thought this young master was buying a gift for his girlfriend.” 

Wei Wuxian didn't like his tone, “Yeah, can he not buy for a good friend?” 

The dealer laughed nervously, “Now, now, I did not mean to anger you. Young men here usually gives mirrors to their sweethearts to compliment their beauty.” 

Wei Wuxian carefully doesn't react to the word sweetheart, or the information in whole. He'll think about the possibility of Lan Zhan giving him a mirror with the intention to complement his looks later. “A gift is a gift, anyone can give to anyone.” 

“Ahhh- yes, yes. Gift is a gift. Please see which you want.” 

The dealer is particularly annoying. He doesn’t leave them out of his sight. He stares at the intently like he knows he can milk out a fortune from them. 

 

Wei Wuxian tugs Lan Zhan to a corner to whisper secretly “Let's not buy from here.” 

“Why?” Lan Zhan whispered even lower. 

“Look at that man! He's going to take more than the mirror actually costs!” 

Lan Zhan acts as if what Wei Wuxian said did not make any sense. “I can pay.” 

“I know you can!!! It's not about that!”

“Did you not want the mirror?” Lan Zhan pouts a little and Wei Wuxian wished he could slap himself for saying nonsensical stuff. 

“I did! I did. I loved it!” 

The annoying man interjected between their hushed whispers, “Since Young master is an old customer I can give discounts!” 

Hearing this, Lan Zhan raised a brow as to ask if Wei Wuxian would still consider buying anything. There was no other choice but to give up.

They went back to the shelves. The sells man shows all the pocket mirrors he had on himself. Most were framed with bronze and copper frames with designs worthy of nobles and royals, something that suited Jin Zixuan's taste.

Lan Zhan slowly revealed that he wasn't sure if Wei Wuxian liked the wooden one or the design he chose. Which is why he brought Wei Wuxian along so he could choose the one he liked the most. Wei Wuxian professed vehemently that he liked the previous a lot. And the main reason was the design of frogs and lotuses. 

He chose the sandalwood framed mirror then, all was set for them. Lan Zhan insisted on paying for the mirror again. Despite saying that it'd be discounted, the seller took ten silver coins from them. Wei Wuxian couldn’t bargain either. 

 

“Why don't you choose something for girlfriends?” The dealer elated as they were about to happily leave the shop. “Qixi is coming, don't you want to court your girlfriends!” 

The words repeated in Wei Wuxian's head, Qixi was near. Gift giving in Qixi is considered as courtship. Wei Wuxian never gifted Lan Zhan anything in Qixi. That's a good opportunity… he thinks.

“We do not have girlfriends.”  Lan Zhan informs the man though he walks back in the shop. 

“No need to be secretive with his lowly one. Every youth in this generation has a girlfriend.” The seller smiled a friendly smile, rubbing his hands together like a fly does before feasting on its meal. He knows he's hit the jackpot and the young masters are very much willing to buy anything without a care for their price.

“No, not everyone.” Wei Wuxian says, clearing his tone to not sound suspicious. “There are exceptions.”

“Ah yes, yes. Some sure are exceptional, they have friends who are girls. You can buy for them as well.” 

Wei Wuxian glared at the man. He's just so annoyed at him. Why could he not take one look at them and see the love that spills out of their pores or whatever Jiang Yanli said.  The man kept saying girls, girl, woman, saying what a woman will like, what a girl will prefer. Showing them the bright exuberant jewelleries mostly to women's preference, distracting Wei Wuxian from what he was looking for. 

At one point a  flowerlike earring with lavender petals with peacock feather’s eyes designed in it catches his eyes, and the color reminded him of Jiang Yanli. “Dont you think this will suit Yanli-jie?” Wei Wuxian asked Lan Zhan without giving it much of a thought. 

“Will it?” Lan Zhan murmured. 

The businessman noticed their interest and gave them a broad detail about the dangly earring. He says that girls care a lot about flower symbolism and the hidden meaning behind them.  The flower Wei Wuxians eyes caught was water hyacinths. It meant growth and symbolizing thriving in harsh conditions. 

Since the flower is connected to water with the peacock feather design, Wei Wuxian decided to gift it to Jiang Yanli. 

“Let's buy one for Mianmian and Wen Qing as well!” Wei Wuxian suggested because it'd be unfair if only one of his “ girl friend ” got a gift.

Lan Zhan nodded to his suggestion. They carefully picked flower earrings asking the meaning behind each flower. Red orchid earrings for Wen Qing, pink begonia earrings for Mianmian  to match with their sect colors. He buys a red string bracelet with a small white jade for Wen Ning because he's the sweetest little brother Wei Wuxian wished he had. 

 

In the end Wei Wuxian couldn’t decide what he'd give Lan Zhan in Qixi. The shop was full of illustrious show pieces and jewelleries but none were elegant enough to be gifted to Lan Zhan. Qixi had days to come, and it was only early summer. Wei Wuxian hopes he'll figure out a surprise gift by that time. 

 

On their way, while buying floss candies, Wei Wuxian's eyes caught on a roadside stall. The woman in the stall was calling for customers, showing off her cosmetic products. Wei Wuxian went to give it a look while Lan Zhan did the purchases. The cosmetics were vivid in color and mild sweet in fragrance. His eyes were caught on the bright red rouge matching the color of his ribbon. Such bright colors are- in a word- prohibited in the Cloud Recesses for general use. Only during the weddings, a makeup so bright makes its appearance in the grounds of Cloud recesses, applied on the eyelids and lips of the new brides.

Wei Wuxian being Wei Wuxian, has high curiosity on anything that's prohibited in Cloud recesses. First of all, Lan ancestors had no valid reason to forbid their woman from wearing such a beautiful color. They don't have to maintain color code in makeup do they? Blue on lips would look…. awful.

Wei Wuxian also wonders what Lan Qiren’s reaction would be if he appeared wearing bright red makeup before his face. Would he be scared or Angry? Whatever punishment that follows would be worth it, no? 

“Like anything?” Lan Zhan asked, handing him the candy floss.

“Young master, buy this one.” The woman hands him the red rouge to inspect, “Your girlfriend will surely look prettier with this.” 

Again with his non-existant girlfriend. There Wei Wuxian was dying to confess his love for Lan Zhan, and these people were dumping some girl on him again and again. “Must I have a girlfriend, can I not buy one for myself?” 

“Eh- fo-for you?’ The woman was baffled to hear a man using bright makeup. “Sure! You can! You'll look prettier too!” 

Wei Wuxian liked the woman's behavior more than the man in the shop. He's so pleased that it felt wrong to not buy something from her when they purchased five items from a greedy annoying man. He looked around and saw a small vial in black. When he asked, the woman said the vial contained refined charcoal that women use to draw their brows and eyelids. Wei Wuxian recognized it. The image of Lan Zhan's lined eyes visits his dream in clear detail. He buys it instantly before the lady could make another comment about how Wei Wuxian has perfect brows and has no need for it. 

“Did you not want the rogue?” Asked Lan Zhan.  They walked near the billing bridge, enjoying the scenery of biling lake with the sweetness of candy floss. 

“Shufu would Qi deviate if I wear it infront of him.” Wei Wuxian doesn't say that he was planning to prank his dear old shufu again. 

The sun has turned orange yet to set over the horizon. People visit the lake side to pass their leisurely time with friends and loved ones. Thankfully it was less crowded for the increasing water ghouls and drowning accidents. He's guilty to be thankful but he gets to have a less crowded road with a less stressed up Lan Zhan. It's not like Lan Disciples are not working to get rid of the ghouls. 

 

“Hey, let's try out the eyeliner I bought!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed because he couldn’t wait to see Lan Zhan's enhanced beauty. And he doesn’t think  he can apply the liner on Lan Zhan, in the privacy of Lan Zhan’s home, sitting atop Lan Zhan's bed. That's too risky. 

They settle under a big tree on its trunk. Lan Zhan stays steady like someone has stuck a paralyzing talisman on him. His ears were sweet pink out of embarrassment, nevertheless he doesn’t deny Wei Wuxian of anything. Wei Wuxian giggles to himself, before kneeling near Lan Zhan. Like the first time, Wei Wuxian lightly held the bottom of Lan Zhan's chin, their gaze fixed on each other. Wei Wuxian is now better at lining Lan Zhan's eyelids with his throbbing heart and nervous hands. He carefully draws the lower eyelids with his tongue peeking outside. He instructs Lan Zhan to close his eyes to draw on the upper eyelids. Lan Zhan's eye lashes are a striking contrast to his pale skin, they flutter like butterfly wings as Wei Wuxian struggled to match the lines of both eyes. 

When Wei Wuxian cheers “Done!” Lan Zhan opens his eyes like he's reborn into a different human. The first time Wei Wuxian saw Lan Zhan with black lined eyes they were young in age, thirteen or fourteen something. Now, they have grown out their childish features. Sixteen and manlier, Lan Zhan is a heart throb, God of beauty and enchantment. Had the lakeside been a little more crowded with people, he would be swarmed with women the way bees swarmed their hives. 

Lan Zhan lowered his gaze like a shy maiden. Out of nowhere he snatched the vial from Wei Wuxian's hands saying, “Your turn.” 

Wei Wuxian squeaked, “My turn!?” 

Lan Zhan did not repeat for Wei Wuxian. He simply sat on his knees, kneeling like Wei Wuxian did, grabbed Wei Wuxian's hands before he could fight and pinned him against the tree. Wei Wuxian's heart speeds up failing to comprehend what was going on. 

“Behave, don't move.” Ordered Lan Zhan. 

Wei Wuxian gaped, shut his mouth, nodded, all while furiously blushing. 

Lan Zhan copied Wei Wuxian's steps. He placed his elegantly long pale fingers below Wei Wuxian's chin, held him lightly but strong enough to angle his face. He repeated the same instructions Wei Wuxian gave him, “keep looking, do not blink.” Taking his revenge by all accounts. 

Wei Wuxian doesn't mind this sort of revenge. 

He gazes at Lan Zhan the same way Lan Zhan gazed at him. He gazes at Lan Zhan with wonder and fascination. He thinks, if anyone does tell him to blink he'd fail to do so. 

Lan Zhan is breathtaking. The tree cast shadow on his cheekbones and breeze swaying hair. The afternoon sun cast a glow on his back, making him shine like luminescent star. He can look at him forever and never get tired of it. 

When Lan Zhan tells him to close his eyes he nearly refuses. Eyes closed and Lan Zhan before him, his auditory senses intensifies. He hears Lan Zhan exhale and hopes the sound doesn't give him new ideas. 

“Mn, done.” Lan Zhan says. 

“Pretty.” Lan Zhan says. 

Wei Wuxian isn't sure how he survived the next few moments or if he breathed like a normal human. He laughed and joked, “not as much as you.” Otherwise he'd have lost consiousness

He distracts himself by looking at the mirror only to find a beet red face staring back. He somewhat laughed at his own face, because it's so silly. How can Lan Zhan look at his red face and not bully him for it. Wei Wuxian would have bullied himself if it was possible. When the blood rush subsides, he looks, really looks at his face, the artwork Lan Zhan has traced on the rim of his eyelids. He looked like a complete different person from the image he had of himself.  He mused at last “I do look quite good.” 

 

Lan Zhan quitely sat beside him, looking at the reflection on the mirror. Wei Wuxian brought the mirror closer, so both their faces could be seen on the small mirror. The mirror was half the size his palm, could only fit one face if held closer.  Held close for better inspection only half of each others face could be captured on the mirror. Despite the half proportion, their reflection, the image was wonderful. Their head close to each other, hair interwoven together too hard to distinguish from each other. Evening sun rays filter through the leaves and branches, giving their face an orangish hue. The complemntry colour of their eyes, silver and golden, brought out by the black lines of their eyelids. Their eyes smile as much as their heart. 

Wei Wuxian wished, he could capture the image and look at it on a later time. 

“We look pretty.” Wei Wuxian bemused again. 

“Mn,” Lan Zhan hummed though his gaze had shifted to Wei Wuxian's face rather than the mirror. 

Wei Wuxian wanted to tell to look back at the mirror, but he made the mistake of turning his head. Head turned to Lan Zhan, and Lan Zhan looking directly at him. The tip of their nose touching, mouth gapping to form words but failing. A cold brezee from the lake carried an sentimental atmosphere. 

If they leaned a little closer they'd be kissing. If either of them lean in, they'd be kissing. If Wei Wuxian leans a little closer…

He hears a bark, out of elation.

He hears himself bark, out of terror. 

Wei Wuxian did leaned closer to Lan Zhan, not to kiss but wrap himself on him out of fear. “Is it near? Is it near?!” 

 

“Oopss did we ruin something?” says an awfully familiar voice. A dog barks again, huffing loudly, impatiently. 

“No jasmine you can't go there, who knows what they were doing.” Another familiar voice says with disdain. 

Wei Wuxian takes the risk to look back, of course, Nie Huaisang, and Jiang Cheng and his big baby beast of a dog that he loves so much. 

“We weren't doing anything!” Wei Wuxian defended. He wouldn't have mind if Jiang Cheng used that disdainful tone on him. To know that he'd think of Lan Zhan wrongly made him defensive. He peels himself off of Lan Zhan's lap, Lan Zhan doesn't remove his hand from his back at first but complies with him with a little struggle. Wei Wuxian squirmed behined Lan Zhan, using him as a sheild for what if the dog jumped on him? It did looked like it wanted to jump on him. 

“Ow come on, Wei-Xiong.” Nie Huaisang whined like Wei Wuxian was  being unfair to him, “Jasmine's a sweetheart. He wants to be friends with you.” 

Wei Wuxian lies, “I appreciate her attempts.” He'd appreciate it more if it leaves him the fuck alone.

 

They don't take the cue on Wei Wuxian's go away glares, intentionally. Rather, Nie Huaisang babbles how they visit Jasmine everyday, how jasmine gets every time she sees them like she's not seen them for a decade. Which food jasmine likes, which tree jasmine peed, where jasmine licked him and why jasmine is the best dog he's ever met. 

“Good for you.” Lan Zhan says at last. Standing up he towers the two youth before him. “You can't return to cloud recesses after sunset. I request you return the dog soon.” 

He takes Wei Wuxian's hands and practically drags him away from the two boys… and the dog. Only when the dog and the two boys are far away does Lan Zhan ask him about his nerves, weather or not he was okay to fly back by himself. 

Wei Wuxian was fine enough to fly on his own. He was capable of standing on his own. But Lan Zhan held him by the arms and Lan Zhan will hold him if he falls. 

Wei Wuxian lies and acts as he is but a frail little boy. Lan Zhan holds tightly as they stand together on bichen. Wei Wuxian hugged him burying himself of Lan Zhan's chest till they reach the gates of Cloud recesses. 

 

Their day comes to an end in slow motion. 

Dinner in the dinning hall. Lan Zhan asking him to sleepover his house. Wei Wuxian finishes his evening tasks, meeting with Lan Qiren, bathed and proper. Wei Wuxian quitely bargin in the Jingshi like he always does. Finds Lan Zhan freshly out of bath, lose hair and fragnat smelling. They complete their paper works together before the curfew time. When it's nine, Lan Zhan tells him to get ready for sleep while he prepared the bed. Wei Wuxian disrobing from his layers and layers of clothing, folding them, keeping them above Lan Zhan’s wardrobe. Wei Wuxian untiying his ponytail, then the plain white ribbon from his forehead. If he turns to find Lan Zhan intently looking at him he does nothing but smile and join Lan Zhan on his bed. They talk-  Wei Wuxian babbles and Lan Zhan listens- about everything Wei Wuxian forgot to say during the day, complaining how the shop owner robbed them of their hard earned money, wondering why the water ghouls aren't decreasing, what he wants to do the next day and anything till sleep lulls him to calmness.

Notes:

Wangxian: *spending the most domestic married life known to humankind*
Also wangxian: no, we're just friends, we can't kiss each other because we are friends. Really close good friends.
All the senior and juniors of the Cloud Recesses: they're dating! They are dating and torturing people who have no one to date!!
Guest disciples: *placing bets whether Jiang Yanli or Wen Qing will be Wei Wuxian chick*
CR disciples watching the guest disciples betting on the wrong people: someone should them....

*
I think Jiang Yanli asking and saying, "isn't love like putting a leash on your neck" to Wei Wuxian is quite funny. Because, hey, she's the eldest daughter of Asian family, from an toxic house hold, she can have a little family trauma as a treat.
*
Jiang Yanli: *suggesting all five love language to Wei Wuxian*
Wwx:??? That's nothing new???
*
Lan Zhan: *paying for Wwx*
Wwx: am I the sugar baby? But I'm the older one? But I want to be the sugar baby! Should I consider Lan Zhan my sugar daddy? But he's just a cute little baby??????
*
Wwx while choosing gift for Qixi: hey this will suit Jiang Yanli!
Lwj who's been overhearing rumors about Wwx running away with Jiang Yanli: should I throw myself down the highest mountain or drown myself in the deepest river?

*
Wwx: whys bight red makeup not allowed?
Lan ancestors: sexy  🫦
*
Me reading cockblocks: >:(
Me writing cockblocks: >:3

Chapter 41: The abyss's call

Guest lectures being canceled was like a holiday for the attending guest disciples in Cloud recesses. It's not everyday that Lan Qiren is piled up with so much work that he considers canceling classes. Sect work is usually well distributed between the two Lan brothers. Besides Qingheng-jun, there was always Wei Wuxian as an extra helping hand. After Nie sect called for a sect leader's conference, Lan Qiren was naturally in charge of the sect affairs in place of the leader as the grand master of the sect. He could make Wei Wuxian assist him in his own paper works but that'd also mean letting a student give access to the test questions for the class he was attending. Thanks to Wei Wuxian being a student on the guest lecturing session, he was blessed with a blue moon of a holiday. 

Despite having classes canceled, duty called him in. His juniors asked him to assist on the water ghouls case and Wei Wuxian couldn’t let his juniors down with a rejection. 

“But why are you bringing them with us?” Wei Wuxian whispered to Lan Xichen. 

The elder Lan boy who was originally supposed to be looking over the increasing water ghouls case thought it was a good idea to invite the attending guest disciples to join them with their group. 

“Don't doubt on the Jiang sect's ability to catch water ghouls!” Jiang Cheng declared overhearing him, “We practically live on water.” 

Wei Wuxian considered bringing Jiang Cheng, Jin Zixuan and Wen Ning, a good idea but he could not be sure if it was a good idea to bring Jiang Yanli,  Nie Huaisang and Wen Qing along. Then there was Meng Yao with Nie Huaisang who just happens to be Jin Zixuan's half brother. 

“Everything will be fine, it's just water ghouls.” Lan Xichen assured him with his never faltering smile. 

It wasn't that Wei Wuxian didn't trust their abilities, he was more concerned about the possibility of finding another undead corpse in the vicinity of various sect heirs. For the time being only a few senior Lan disciples know about its existence. They've very little knowledge of it other than the fact that it's a body full of resentful energy slowly fading to death. While only one of those bodies were found, there was no guarantee of its rarity. 

 

“Don't worry too much.” Lan Zhan says in his soothing soft voice. He pulls Wei Wuxian closer by the waist as they get on the rented boats. The boat was small, enough to hold the weight of three full grown adults. Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan share a boat, Wen siblings and Jiang siblings share one each, Nie Huaisang tried to share a boat with Jin Zixuan but the pompous young master refused to share. In the end Lan Xichen offered to share his boat along with Meng Yao, reliving Nie Huaisang with the fact that he will be safer with Zewu-jun with him. 

Wuming quietly murmured near his ears, “Don't get too close to Su She today.” 

Wei Wuxian is never particularly close to Su She unless they are fighting. He knows this was one those future prophesied warnings Wuming gives him from time to time. Each time he warns Wuming loses color depending on detail and significance. Wei Wuxian had begged not to do that, but the overbearing little guardian hardly ever listens. 

 

Biling river bank is mostly a floating market and eye attraction for visitors. There are merchants and sellers selling fruits and vegetables, wines and pleasantries, snacks and sweets. Most of the traders and vendors know Wei Wuxian by “Young master Wei” for his generous help and playful characteristics..They call for his attention despite knowing he's out with his group for hunting, Wei Wuxian never minded them. One of them called to let him know his watermelon harvest strived this summer, thanked him for helping out mulching the fields. One lady called to show him the fresh fishes she caught, another teased for not buying anything from her fruit stall. 

“This young master's pocket is empty today.” Wei Wuxian wailed as playfully as she called. 

The young lady lamented no less dramatically, “Ayyy, don't say that young master Wei. If you truly craved for these juicy loquats, you'd buy them by any means.” 

Wei Wuxian oared his boat near the lady's stall, uncaring of falling behind his teammates. No doubt the loquats were ripe and juicy, their sweet fruity scent luring Wei Wuxian to buy them. Then again, Wei Wuxian was a little short on allowance after buying gifts for his friends. He then winked and said, “Why don't I pay you with my looks?” 

Wei Wuxian ignored the way Lan Zhan let out his usual defeated sigh whenever Wei Wuxian flirts with these vendor ladies. He rather giggled as Lan Zhan shook his head like nothing can be done to stop his flirting, the vendor ladies squealed and giggled with him. 

“You can't keep robbing us with your looks!” The ladies whined.

“Why, am I not good looking enough?” Wei Wuxian whined back. 

“Then,” the young lady leaned forward as if sharing a secret, “Why don't you ask our handsome young master Lan to buy for you.” 

Wei Wuxian pouted, “You call Young master Lan handsome and me just good looking. Leave it. I am not buying from you today.” 

Wei Wuxian exaggerated his pouts and whines and oared away from the vendor lady. Lan Zhan rubbed the bridge of his nose at Wei Wuxian's usual antics. 

While the other traders laughed, the young lady begged for apology with a big smile, “Eyy Young master Wei, I beg your pardon please!.” She throws neatly tied twigs with generous amounts of loquats on it, “If Young master Lan is the Handsome one then you are the cute one!!” 

Wei Wuxian caught the bunch of fruits happily yet cried, “No need to butter me up jiejie, I'm disheartened.” 

He let her whine on her own,  rowing back to his team, all while enjoying the free loquats he earned.

“Must you be so childish with everyone?” Lan Zhan huffs, taking the oars from his hand. 

Wei Wuxian giggled more at Lan Zhan’s annoyed huffs and pushed one loquat in his mouth without a warning. Lan Zhan bit the loquat first, then opened his mouth allowing Wei Wuxian to feed him. If the action resulted in brushing his fingers on Lan Zhan’s inner side of the lips, neither of them reacted as if it was nothing out of the ordinary. 

“She only called you handsome. Am I not handsome as well?” Wei Wuxian pouted, his gaze lingering on Lan Zhan’s pink lips where a little loquat juice was smothered on. The urged to lick clean Lan Zhan's lips was killed by none other than Lan Zhan when the boy licked those lips himself. Though Wei Wuxian doubted if the urge was killed or replaced by a different urge. What would happen if Wei Wuxian licked Lan Zhan's tongue? 

“You are handsome.” Lan Zhan murmured out of the blue, catching Wei Wuxian off guard. 

Wei Wuxian did not have enough time to process Lan Zhan's words. Thanks to a certain Su She loudly complaining about Wei Wuxian's irresponsibility.  

“Oh ca'mon what did I do?” 

“What did you do?” Su She snarled, “We are beating our sweat to catch these water ghouls and you're out there flirting with every woman and you dare ask what did you do?” 

“I was out only for a brief moment.” 

“And now you use baseless excuses.” 

“As if you caught any water ghouls!” 

“Wuxian,” Lan Xichen reprimanded, “Minshan as well. Be mindful of your tone.”

To the Lan disciples their little fights were nothing out of the ordinary either. They're always brawling about one thing or another. 

Jin Zixuan on the other hand, scoffed from his boat, “Why repermind him when he was right about Wei Wuxian. He flirts more than he breathes.” 

Su She was outright glowing to have Jin Zixuan of all people take his side. He oared his boat to Jin Zixuan to chum him up like he'd gladly be his lackey. 

One of his juniors cackled saying, “Young master Jin do not make judgments of one's character.” Following him up, another of his peers added with evil grins, “Su Xiong is no good either. One time he attempted charming a young merchant lady. She was so offended by his approach that she came all the way to Cloud recesses with her father and complained about him directly to Grand master Lan.” 

The group of youth burst into laughter and giggles. Su She was ashamed red in front of everyone. Even Jin Zixuan was ashamed that he took sides with such a lame person. “How'd I know,” Jin Zixuan feigned ignorance of Su she's existence, “Zewu-jun has the knack for overlooking the faults of the low born.” He said the words looking directly at Meng Yao, meaning every word to him. 

The group of cheerful youth went silent at his comment. They all know the silent disgust Jin Zixuan holds for Meng Yao. It's not Meng Yao's   fault that he is Jin Zixuan's half brother by blood, older than his age. If Meng Yao was to be accepted by his father, he'd be the rightful first heir of the Jin clan by legal means. 

Lan Xichen didn't react to Jin Zixuan as one should. Instead he patted Meng Yao’s shoulder asking him to keep an eye for the ghouls. Wei Wuxian restrained himself from furthering their feud. He distributed the loquats among his peers, one for each. He pouted saying, “I just think you're jealous that I got free loquats.” 

When he gave one to Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan muttered under his breath, “Who knows what else you get for free.” 

Jiang Yanli promptly responded, “Young master Jin is quite talkative today.” though she was smiling, her smile was as sharp as blade. That moment Wei Wuxian saw why the phrase, "spawns of the Violet Spider" was famous. Her blade sharp smile shut Jin Zixuan up at once. She glanced at her brother and Wei Wuxian, signed them not to pay heed to Jin Zixuan's blabbering. 

“Darn it!” Jiang Cheng hissed mostly to let out his anger for the peacock, “It's so difficult to catch ghouls with fishnets.” Jiang Yanli mused how the Jiang disciples dived in the water to catch the ghouls directly with their fist and muscles. The more adventurous Lan disciples like Wei Wuxian are enamored by the new idea. They inquire to learn more about water ghoul hunting. Wei Wuxian almost wants to try jumping in the water to catch the ghouls. 

In the gossip of ghoul hunting Wei Wuxian noticed  a ghoul stuck under Jin Zixuan's boat, anytime given it'll drag Jin Zixuan down. The voice inside him tells him to let that peacock have a good dive. Wei Wuxian thinks better of it, he asks Jiang Yanli to call for Jin Zixuan.

After a little contemplating, Jiang Yanli waves sweetly at Jin Zixuan. Infatuated by her dazzling smile Jin Zixuan looks too stupid to be not in love. Wei Wuxian seized the chance to turn over Jin Zixuan's boat, toppling it over, attacking the water ghouls on it. Meanwhile, Lan Zhan had jumped to safely catch Jin Zixuan from falling in the river, transferring him on the Jiang Siblings boat. 

Jin Zixuan was enraged at Wei Wuxian and his scheme, while other disciples ask how Wei Wuxian knew there was a ghoul under Jin Zixuan's boat. 

As Wei Wuxian explained the situation, one of the disciples altered, “Zewu-jun, the compass is acting weird.”

The resentful energy detecting compass Wei Wuxian invented was still going through test runs. Though Wei Wuxian was sure of his invention’s working capacity he was not sure why the compass hands whirled around the compass like a whirling fan. 

Lan Xichen's placid face turned pale at once, “We are surrounded by ghouls!” 

Wei Wuxian also noticed the azure water of biling river was turning darker and darker. He was ready to direct his sword under the water to attack before Wen Ning jumped to his boat and said, “No attacking will help. Fly above.” 

“Get on your swords everyone!” Lan Xichen also ordered. 

Under Lan Xichen's command everyone maneuvered their swords, flying above the river. Meng Yao, who did not have  a sword, was saved by Zewu-jun, standing on Shouyue. It was a little awkward to see Lan Xichen grabbing Meng Yao by the waist or Meng Yao hugging Lan Xichen. Wei Wuxian was not going to blame Meng Yao, his life was at stake given the circumstances. 

The river has turned dark like an abyss, the waterborne abyss. By everyone's face, it was clear that the thing beneath the water was not what they should be dealing with. 

“Okay…. what do we now?” Wei Wuxian awkwardly asked. He is more awkwarded how his either hands were constrained by Wen Ning and Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan was holding his hands, which was okay, they always held each other's hands during danger. However, it's quite uncomfortable to have his other hand held by Wen Ning like given the chance Wei Wuxian will jump on the river. It's not like he disliked Wen Ning, but he'd be grateful if Wei Wuxian was free to move his hands altogether. 

 

Lan Xichen calmly advised, “Return to Cloud recesses, We can't do anything.” 

 

The earlier panic dissolved rather quickly thanks to Lan Xichen's calm demeanor. Disciples turned their swords to fly back to cloud recesses, unlike a literal abyss was not waiting to engulf them. With the panic subdued Wen Ning had let go of his hand, meekly apologizing. While their backs were turned, Wei Wuxian heard a junior disciple struggle and say, “You can't, hey! I can't carry us both!” 

He turned back and noticed, Su She invasioned upon a poor Junior disciple’s sowrd directing it downwards, to the abyss. 

“Su She don't be ridiculous!” Wei Wuxian said at once reaching to help his junior. Suibian is quick in speed, nevertheless it takes a little time to cross some distance.

Su she shouted back, “I just want to have a closer look.” He had commaned his sowrd to attack the waterborne abyss. 

“No! Don't enrage the abyss!” Before Wei Wuxian could have reached them, the abyss reacted. Just as he feared the whirlpool created by the waterborne abyss wavered his agility. The helpless Junior could barely hold two people on his sowrd, let alone hoist upwards. The pressure created by the whirlpool was sucking them in. 

Wei Wuxian caught his Junior disciple by the collar, fearing his fall. “Su she bring your sword up!” 

“I'm trying god damn it” 

Wei Wuxian could hear distant cries and calls of his friends telling him to get back quickly. Lan Zhan hovered closer to him reaching out his hand for Wei Wuxian to hold.

The junior disciple was not strong enough to pull two people's weight, but Wei Wuxian was. He asked the junior disciples to fly upwards as soon as Su She gets on Suibian. Wei Wuxian curtly ordered Su She to shift to Suibian's blade as calmly as he could. But that guy had never once obeyed Wei Wuxian. He jumped from one sword to another, causing the Junior to stagger on his balance from his sword. Alerted, Wei Wuxian shifted to hold his Junior disciple securingly, at the same time, Su She grabbed him on the waist causing him to slip from his blade. 

He was falling. 

Wei Wuxian was falling heads down to the mouth of the waterborne abyss.

While falling he noticed, Lan Zhan, saving the Junior disciple from following Wei Wuxian's fate. 

At least, the kid was saved…..

He wished he was saved too. 

All his life, Wei Wuxian fell head first on many occasions. Of those many occasions, he's landed on soft snow, never on hard ground. On many occasions, he was caught securingly in the arms of people who care about him. On most occasions he was held in the arms of a beloved person. He wished, whimsically, to be held by his beloved once again, one last time. 

Water surface breaks, Wei Wuxian drowns in the resentful void. The souls of tormented cries and laughs, shrieks and giggles, much similar to what he heard when trying to connect with Chenqing. 

Chenqing calls for him, the spiritual tool interwoven with his Qi, talks to him, in an inaudible hum, conquer, defeat them, rule them, revenge, revenge, revenge, revenge, Wei Wuxian don't you want revenge, take revenge, they wronged you, vanquish. 

Drowned in pitch black water, Wei Wuxian tried to fight the resentful whips dragging him down. The whips burned against his skin, seeping in his veins, darkening, threatening to eat him from the insides. He struggled, and struggled, felt coiled up in the threads of resentful energy. The more he fights, the weaker he gets. From his peripheral view he notices another figure in white, also struggling. And for a horrifying moment Wei Wuxian feared it to be Lan Zhan. 

The white cladded person struggled to get up  like Wei Wuxian was so desperately. If it was Lan Zhan, he'd not be struggling to get up but rather trying to reach Wei Wuxian. That much faith Wei Wuxian has in his Zijhi. In the  chasm of darkness, Wei Wuxian could recognise Su She alone by his graceless feat. 

Su She was drowning with him. 

Su She was the reason Wei Wuxian was dying.

How embarrassing that would be, to die for someone as spiteful as Su She. 

Take revenge, the souls of the tormented said. Kill him, he killed you, kill him, take revenge, revenge, Wei Wuxian take revenge. 

Wei Wuxian wished the resentful whips would stop bothering him. If he was dying, he'd like to have a peaceful death.

Why fight your fears when you can befriend them?

He wished for the resentful souls to bother Su She instead. 

Mindlessly he reached out his hands to the nothingness of resent, go, he commanded in his mind. Leave me alone, don't dare come to me, listen to me, obey me, Go. 

For a blissful moment, everything was silent. So silent that Wei Wuxian thought the resentful souls heeded to his orders. His skin wasn't burning as badly as before, his insides did not feel like bursting pain. 

Then all of a sudden he feels his waist being coiled by an foreign object. It did not burn like the resentful whips, but it did hurt a little. Little to his knowledge, he was pulled up and out of the water. Familiar warmth embraced him.

Maybe he gasped for air, may he did not.  

“Wei Ying, Wei Ying- Wei Ying!” this lovely soothing voice called, though it pierced his ears, causing him a throbbing headache. He asked Lan Zhan to be quieter. Lan Zhan called him more, shaking him like he was a salt shaker. 

Annoying.

Wei Wuxian was extremely annoyed. 

He reached out his hands, grabbed a fistful of what appeared to be Lan Zhan's collar, and yelled, “Stop for fucks sake!” 

“He's alive.” Another high pitched voice of a woman, stinging his ears. Everyone was being too loud, but their words were indistinguishable. Then a stinging pain literally pierced on his skin, more or so an acupuncture needle. 

Wei Wuxian blacked out.

The next thing Wei Wuxian knows, he's in the very same bed of the very old infirmary. Half awake, everything was blurry like a fever  dream. He moves his hands, reaching out for the nothingness like he did in the abyss. His hands remember the feeling of touching something, the burning sharp resent. 

Wuming snake around his held up wrist, purring softly on his veins. “I assume you can see me now?” Wei Wuxian could barely hear him for how quietly he speaks. He could see the shape of his pale blue body. “I keep telling you not to go, to stop helping Su She, but it appeared that you could not hear or see me back then.” 

Wuming was with him for as long as they were out in biling river.  Wei Wuxian hardly noticed Wuming’s disappearance, or more precisely, his ability to see Wuming, to hear Wuming. 

It happens more than often for Wei Wuxian to panic. Regardless, it is scary everytime Wuming disappears from his vision. 

“Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan's voice appeared along with Lan Zhan's face. It takes Wei Wuxian a moment to adjust his vision, to focus on Lan Zhan only. His hand reached for Lan Zhan's face on its own. Lan Zhan was warmer than Wei Wuxian, like Wei Wuxian was dead and Lan Zhan was not. 

Lan Zhan's face inclined towards Wei Wuxian's hand. His warmer and bigger hand covers the back of Wei Wuxian’s hand, holding him in place. 

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asked, unsure why he was asking.

“Mn, it's me.” But Lan Zhan will always have an answer to give.

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian said again, because he liked saying his name.

“Mn, Wei Ying.” And Lan Zhan would always respond.

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying pulled Lan Zhan's face closer to nuzzle, for this was the only person who came to his mind when Wei Wuxian was at the gates of death.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan nuzzled on his nose. Even his nose was warmer compared to Wei Wuxian's. 

Wei Wuxian pulled Lan Zhan in a hug. 

He felt cold.  Why was Wei Wuxian cold?

“Is it fever?” Lan Zhan murmured, shifting from their hug to place his forehead atop Wei Wuxian's. The silk of Lan Zhan's forehead ribbon touched his. “It is.”

Lan Zhan got up, abandoning Wei Wuxian of his warmth. Fear spikes up in Wei Wuxian's guts. “No, don't leave me.” He got up from his bed so swiftly, forgetting how weak his body was, how dizzy his head felt. How he couldn’t follow Lan Zhan, groaning with pain. 

Lan Zhan returned to him as soon as Wei Wuxian was about to fall backwards on the bed.  He cradled Wei Wuxian's head, placed him gently and held him closer. “I was not leaving. I have to call Lan daifu.”

“She'll come on her own.” Wei Wuxian coiled his arms around Lan Zhan's neck tighter. “I'm cold without you.” 

“You have a fever.” Lan Zhan informed, exhausted and tired. He doesn’t let go of Wei Wuxian either. Against all sensibility, he chose to sit on Wei Wuxian's bed beside him, hugged Wei Wuxian as closely as possible while being mindful not to exert his weight on him. 

Wei Wuxian nuzzled on the crook of Lan Zhan's neck, taking in his warm sandalwood scent. He murmured, not quite sounding like himself, “I thought I was going to die. What happened.” 

Despite being the healthy one, Lan Zhan sounded as broken as Wei Wuxian. He says that Wei Wuxian indeed escaped death by a hair breadth. Lan Zhan's voice shakes when he talked about how he saw Wei Wuxian fall into the abyss. He was so close to Wei Wuxian yet failed to catch him on time. Their hands almost held one another if not for Su She who dragged Wei Wuxian down before Lan Zhan could grab him. 

“What happened to Su She?” 

“Rescued. Alive.” 

“How did you save me?” 

“It was not me.” Lan Zhan says. He says, it was Jiang Yanli who saved Wei Wuxian. She used her whip Sheé to pull Wei Wuxian out of the water. She has mastered the ability to soften the edges of her blade-like whip, making it work like any other regular whips. Wei Wuxian felt proud of her progress. Once again, the little risk he took for her proved its worth. Wen Qing took care of his primary aid when Lan Zhan was too panicked to aid him with anything other than shaking him like a salt shaker. Wen Qing and Wen Ning took turns to provide him with spiritual energy, all while begging Lan Zhan to calm down. 

Hearing Lan Zhan speak of his panic adulled reactions was both funny and endearing to Wei Wuxian. If their places were to be reversed, Wei Wuxian would react a hundred times worse than Lan Zhan had. 

 

“Ahem, ahem,” says the head physician of the Lan clan,  “well, is that not my regular patient and his overcaring friend.” 

She walked into them hugging each other like they were saying their final goodbyes. Wei Wuxian was too embarrassed to face her after being found coiled around the second jade, he buried himself deeper in Lan Zhan’s arms. Lan Zhan, much like Wei Wuxian, snuggled closer to hide himself from facing her angry glares. 

Being the Head physician, Lan Meihua could care less about propriety with clan heirs. She grabbed Lan Zhan by the back of his collar and peeled him out of their embrace. She scolded Lan Zhan as politely as an aggravated physician could, “Did I not tell you to call me as soon as he's awake? Why are you clinging to each other like slugs?” 

Lan Zhan could only sulk. 

Once separated from each other, physician Lan did a quick check up on his puls and dantains, poking her fingers everywhere. 

She frowned deeply, rubbing her fingers on her forehead, “Why is your core hellbent on destroying itself?” 

Wei Wuxian did not know what to answer. His core felt as normal as always. His qi was regular, not on the verge of qi deviation. Lan Zhan looked at him like he's about to burst into tears and punch the lights out of him at the same time. The physician then elaborates on why they were both angry and disheartened. 

Falling into an resentful abyss is no child's play. A normal human would have died in a blink. An average cultivator would be in no better position. She calls Wei Wuxian lucky to have a strong golden core, otherwise the resentful energy would have creeped in him destroying his core first and his soul next. 

“You could balance out the resentful energy.” Physician Lan says, “Your fellow Su Mishan could not.” 

The news was like a thunder struck out of nowhere. Su She who fell in the abyss like Wei Wuxian did, had his core broken. A broken core is the result of near Qi deviation where a core malfunction in the attempts to balance the yin and yang energy. A broken core to a cultivator is the same as no core at all. He could get the benefits of a core, life vitality, but never use it for cultivation like most cultivators do. 

“Is there no way to fix it?” Wei Wuxian asked. 

“There is none.” 

Wei Wuxian disliked Su She, he hated him for many reasons. But no amount of hate could bring Wei Wuxian to want for his demise. However sad he was, a part of him, a disgusting part of him, laughed. In his consciousness, there were eerie laughters and giggles, like the taste of revenge was very sweet on his tongue. Those giggling voices cheer for him, you did it, Wei Wuxian. You did it. 

 

Wei Wuxian didn't know what to do. He fell silent for the course of time. Lan daifu prescribed him the medicines and dietaries, everything he needed to to get back in shape. He listened but comperhaned nothing. His mind was full of doubts and self loathing. His mind was repeating the scenes in the waterborne abyss, the voices of tormented souls. There was a voice that sounded so much like him, that voice kept telling him to conquer over the resentful souls, that voice was telling him to win. 

Seated on the infirmary bed, Lan Zhan snuggled closer to him again, their chests touching. Wei Wuxian's head rested on Lan Zhan’s shoulder. His fingers running across Wei Wuxian's loose hair, uncaring of touching his white ribbon. Wei Wuxian was passed out for the whole day, his body sore in pain. Wide awake at night, he couldn’t rest his mind either. 

The voices were loud. 

 

 

Their dinner was told to be brought in the infirmary, in the cabin he was resting. Little did he expect Wen Qing of all people to bring his dinner tray.  

“Grand master Lan said I should check up on you and make sure you're eating.” She says when asked, “I really have no clue why he requested me to visit you.” 

Wei Wuxian respected Lan Qiren on a level a child would respect their fathers. But at times like this, Wei Wuxian wished to shave off his beard off his face. Lan Zhan looked more annoyed at their visit. If glares could throw daggers, the infirmary would be soaked with blood by now. 

Lan Zhan is the most polite person Wei Wuxian knows. Lan Zhan is also the most hostile person he knows. Wei Wuxian believed Lan Zhan could politely ask Wen Qing to put the tray on the bedside tables, greet her, thank her. But the hostile man chose to be petty.  He took the tray from Wen Qing’s hands, glowered at her with a small nod of greeting, sat beside Wei Wuxian again with silence as if to say, “You may go now.” 

 

“Uh.. Well, my brother has something to say.” Wei Qing muttered, clearly scared out at Lan Zhan's behavior. Wen Ning walked in the room looking smaller in physique. He glanced at Lan Zhan and then Wei Wuxian, fiddled with the tassel of the Cloud Recesses entry pendant. His gaze was fixed on the floor, and he looked like he was about to cry. 

Wei Wuxian huffed and wagged his fingers, “what is it Wen Ning? Come here.” 

Wen Ning treaded towards his bed in small steps, ants were faster than him. When he came close to Wei Wuxian's reach, he took the boy's hand and pulled him to sit on the bed beside Lan Zhan. Though Lan Zhan was absolutely displeased about it he moved further to allow Wen Ning more space to sit comfortably. Wei Wuxian patted Wen Ning’s shoulder, “Speak now, I'm a very impatient man.” 

Wen Ning opened his mouth and closed again. Struggling to find the correct words he takes a long time to utter, “I failed to save you.”

As soon as he uttered those words tears rolled out of his eyes. It was just not any regular one or two drops of tears, the gentle Wen boy's eyes were pouring like late summer rains. Once it starts it shows no intention to stop. Wei Wuxian was baffled, Wen Qing was baffled, Lan Zhan was irritated but baffled as well. 

Wei Wuxian pulled the crying boy in his arms, hugging and patting his back, “He-hey! You did! You did save me. Don't cry!” 

“I was holding you. But then I let go, then you fell. I couldn't do anything.” 

The reason behind Wen Ning holding his hands was because he knew Wei Wuxian would fall. The unfortunate fate of Wei Wuxian was prophesied to Wen Ning yet nature has its own way to bring together the future. “You did enough okay? Don't cry now.” 

Wen Ning cried and sobbed on Wei Wuxian's shoulder for about half an hour. His sister had to beg him to stop and let Wei Wuxian rest properly. 

 

As soon as the Wen siblings left  Lan Zhan coiled his arms around his neck. 

“What happened to you now?” Wei Wuxian asked no less amused. He patted Lan Zhan's back like he did for Wen Ning, “Are you also going to cry?” 

Lan Zhan did not cry easily. He huffed hearing Wei Wuxian's teasing and hugged him tighter. 

“Lan Zhan, I'm sweating now. Let go.” 

Wei Wuxian's whining did no good. Rather than letting him go Lan Zhan cocooned Wei Wuxian with his draping sleeves, hugging even tighter than before. “Don't like it” he murmured quietly. 

Wei Wuxian knew what Lan Zhan was talking about, yet he asked to see if Lan Zhan tells him the truth, “Don't like what?” 

“Don't like others hugging you.” He did spoke his heart.

Wei Wuxian could not see Lan Zhan's face thanks to the way Lan Zhan was embracing him. Nevertheless, Wei Wuxian knew that tone, he memorized all of Lan Zhan's tones. He could be blind as bat and answer one hundred percent correctly that his best friend was pouting. 

Childish…

Wei Wuxian pushed himself out of the enclasped arms to gaze at that cute pouting face. “Is that why you act pitiless towards Wen Qing and Wen Ning?” 

Lan Zhan frowned, “I did not act pitiless.” 

“Yes, you did.” Wei Wuxian tapped the tip of Lan Zhan's nose, making him more annoyed than he already is. “Behave properly next time. They mean well.” 

Lan Zhan averted his gaze, frowning and pouting. 

“What's this silent answer?”grining widely Wei Wuxian pulled Lan Zhan's puffed cheeks, “Say you'll behave.” 

Lan Zhan refuses. He gets out of Wei Wuxian's clutch, acting like he did not hear Wei Wuxian at all. “Your dinner is getting cold.” he says, placing the tray of food on his lap rather than giving it to Wei Wuxian. Lan Zhan opened the lid of every bowl, porridge, soup, boiled leafs and an apple. He takes the spoon, holding the porridge near Wei Wuxian's lips. “Eat.” 

Wei Wuxian loves to be hand fed. Yet he turned his head, “No I won't eat until you promise to behave.” 

Lan Zhan frowned, pushing the spoon, “Open your mouth.” 

“So mean of you Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian whined dramatically, “You don't listen to Wei gege at all. And now you're tormenting me to eat bland porridge.” 

Seeing that Wei Wuxian won't eat until he gives up Lan Zhan sighed. “Fine. I'll behave.” 

“And be friendly?”

“....” 

“Say it Lan Zhan.” 

“I will behave and be friendly. Will you please eat now?” 

Wei Wuxian gave him a big smile pulling both his soft cheeks. How adorable Lan Zhan is. His love for this boy is hard to describe. If he's being the least bit dramatic, he'd say, bland porridge and bitter soup tastes better when spoon fed by Lan Zhan. 

News came to Wei Wuxian next morning. Su She was requested to step down from his cultivator path considering the state of his core.

Wei Wuxian didn't know why he ran to meet Su She, all he knew was that he had to apologize to him. He felt like he owed an apology to Su She for not being able to save him, for being the only one to survive unscathed. 

The moment Wei Wuxian reached Su She's dorm room chaos erupted. Before he could open his mouth Su She launched at him with fist and fury. He blamed Wei Wuxian, he accused Wei Wuxian for his misfortune. He said it was Wei Wuxian who sent the resentful energy to engulf him. 

No one believed him.

No one except Wei Wuxian. 

Wei Wuxian knew he'd done something, unknowingly or unknowingly he's tempered with the vast amount of resentful energy. 

Everyone sided with Wei Wuxian, making him feel more guilty. He could not acknowledge Su She's accusations, he couldn’t not discard them either. 

“You never owed him an apology.” says Wuming, “He has faced the consequences of his actions.” 

So what would be the consequences of Wei Wuxian’s action? 

Notes:

LXC: It's just water ghouls, what can go wrong.
Water brone abyss: allow me introduce myself!
*
Lqr after sending WQ to look after Wwx: it ain't much but it's honest work.
Lwj: I can't believe my own uncle is sabotaging my attempts at courtship
*
Lwj: *glaring at wq to make her go away*
Wq: he's doing it again! He looking at me like he's constipated
*
Random fact: slugs coil around each other during sex. So when physician Lan says why are you clinging to each other like slugs, she's basically saying why are you two fucking infront of my virgin medicinal herbs.
:)

Chapter 42: Zinhu and Niulang meets once a year

Notes:

I forgot to add slow burn tag :(

Words has it that Wei Wuxian is a notorious attention seeker. It's not a lie that he thrives within the attention he gets, but it's also true that he does not actively seeks attention. Despite what many people say Wei Wuxian values his solitude as much as he values being noticed. 

After the accident with the waterborne abyss, Wei Wuxian has been the center of everyone's attention. Whether he likes it or not, no one, not a single person passses by him without asking of his health. He appreciates them for worrying about his health, he'd also appreciate it if they stopped treating him like a baby. He's a sixteen year old adolescent, he can take care of himself. He does not need everyone to keep a strict eye on him.

 

It's understable if it's sect elders or seniors scolding him to be careful with every step he takes. What should he do with the juniors? He's older than them yet they act as though Wei Wuxian was a fragile little maiden with a delicate little body. They'd not let Wei Wuxian do any hard labor. If Wei Wuxian was carrying a heavy load, one or more juniors would scramble to take the loads away from his hands. If Wei Wuxian was washing particularly tedious laundry, they'd sneakily wash them from his pile. If  Wei Wuxian's favorite food was served during lunch, they'd give him their share leaving Wei Wuxian petrified before a pile of steamed tofu cubes. If Wei Wuxian had night patrol duty, and god forbid if he exhaled a little louder than usual, his peers would continuously tell him to get his “much needed rest.”  going as far as checking his pulse even though they know little about medical practice.

 

He understands everyone's a little freaked out after what happened to Su She. They are afraid Wei Wuxian might face the same fate. Thus far Wei Wuxian has faced no significant difficulty, and was declared completely healthy by the physicians. Irregardless of what the physicians stated, Wei Wuxian couldn’t escape the eyes of his oh so caring people. 

 

Then of course, there was the greater problem, Lan Zhan. Watching him with hawk eyes, keeping record of his every move, every breath.  

 

He won't say he hates it.  He'd also prefer it more if he and Lan Zhan were little more than friends, if Wei Wuxian's heart wasn't at stake. 

 

Things were like that for the rest of the summer. Lan Zhan doesn't show his worry much but Wei Wuxian knows it's there in some corner of his heart. Just like the fear of Wuming’s disappearance remains in Wei Wuxian's. 

But Lan Zhan is braver.

Lan Zhan wouldn hold his hand with every chance he got. If asked for a reason he'd say, “I'm afraid if I let you go you'll disappear again.” Which Wei Wuxian understands depending on context, he did give Lan Zhan a big scare visiting death and all. But was it necessary to make his answer sound so devotedly romantic? 

 

Lan Zhan would make sure nothing discomforted Wei Wuxian. If Wei Wuxian forgot his umbrella he'd take Wei Wuxian under his umbrella, even though Wei Wuxian knows Lan Zhan carries an extra with him all the time. In the peak of summer heat he'd blow air from his mouth to cool Wei Wuxian, it actually did the opposite. Wei Wuxian- as prescribed by the physicians- meditated in the cold pond, and Lan Zhan would wait for him just at the mouth of the cave, his back to Wei Wuxian for the sake of “privacy”.  If Wei Wuxian asked why he does it, Lan Zhan would answer, “what if you drown.” 

He laughed and called Lan Zhan ridiculous for fearing for his life, Lan Zhan would huff and say, “Then ridiculous I am.” 

Lan Zhan made sure Wei Wuxian eats all the yin energy foods, take his medicines on time, eat only after Wei Wuxian ate, come over to his room to help him tidy up, fold his laundries, make him his bed, tuck him to bed if they are not sleeping together. He'd leave after making sure Wei Wuxian was going to sleep. If Wei Wuxian asked for a reason, Lan Zhan would say, “What if I never see you again.” 

 

Wei Wuxian's heart would race and ache. He'd wonder why Lan Zhan doesn't cross the cryptic line between friendship and love, he'd wonder how long they are going to dance along that thin line, touching the boundaries but never crossing. At times, they'd take one bold step closer to each other, almost kissing. And then- a dove would flutter its wings or wind rustled tree branches or one of their peers would walk in their vicinity of secrecy, and they'd flinch out in surprise, take three steps back like rabbits.

He promised to Wuming, to himself, he'd dare to take that bold step at the end of Qixi. Cross the obscure line they've created between them and be together like the Zinhu and Niulang. He'd planned everything. Morning to noon would pass following the same old routine, meditation, breakfast, class, training, watch over duty. After lunch they'll gather round the southern waterfalls, make their lanterns with their friends- for him with Lan Zhan-  watch their lanterns fly, make his wish. After the sun set completely, after he is done with dinner and his night time tasks, he'll quietly walk in the Jingshi, he'll give the gift he's chosen for Lan Zhan, the collection of poetry he's written. Lan Zhan would read the poems one by one, his ears would grow a shade red with each poem. Lan Zhan is smart, he'll know the meaning behind Wei Wuxian's gift. Lan Zhan is smart but shy, so he'd avert his gaze away from Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian- as promised- would cross the bridge, reach out to Lan Zhan, hold his hands and finally, finally confess his true feelings, whom his heart desires the most. And then- they'll live happily ever after what else. They'll kiss whenever they want wherever they want, they'll cuddle, they'll hold each other within their arms till they become white haired old men.

 

But promises are hard to keep and fate wasn't as kind as people make it out to be. 

 

They were making their Lanterns, Wei Wuxian skipped from helping out Lan Zhan to helping out his juniors make their own Lanterns. The guest disciples made their lanterns in a far corner from the Lan disciple. They are low in number, not obligated to join them, but it's courteous to join. 

Wen siblings could not join thanks to Wen Xu and Wen Chao. There were only the Jiang siblings, Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixuan and their faithful servants. Lan Xichen joined Nie Huaisang and Meng Yao to make a lantern with them. Jin Zixuan was watching his servants make one for him. Things were quite unproblematic. 

The problem occurred after they blew their lanterns into the evening sky. Wei Wuxian had made a wish and begged the heavens to help him not regret his life decisions. The elder members had left the disciples to their own, to enjoy the scenic view of the glowing lanterns as if stars were visiting the earth. Disciples were asking each other what wish they'd made.

“What wish did you make Jin Gongzi?” someone had innocently asked. 

“What other wish is there for him to make other than marrying his fiancée as soon as possible.” Another innocent remark. 

“Eh- you mean he is really going to marry young miss Jiang?” 

“Why won't he not. They're engaged after all.” 

“If they are engaged why did they not make a lantern together, is that not what lovers do?” 

Those disciples were gossiping among themselves. They certainly did not want to jab it to Jin Zixuan's face, did they? 

Whatever their intention was, Jin Zixuan heard everything and he was not pleased. “Who said we are lovers?” Jin Zixuan yelled brusquely. 

“Jin Gongzi forgive us, we just thought-” 

“Thoughts should be kept in your mind. If you want to yap about lovers why don't you yap near her.” 

Jin Zixuan pointed accusingly towards Jiang Yanli. Jiang Yanli might have overlooked his accusing fingers but her brother did not. He yelled louder than Jin Zixuan as if to assert his dominance over the gold robed boy, “If you have anything to say just it to my face.” 

Even in the dimming evening glow Jin Zixuan's reddened face growled with anger, “Dare you shout at me when your sister is the one frolicking around with some other guy!” 

Loud gasps from a dozen of disciples and a much louder growled from Jiang Cheng, “The fuck you said.” he held Jin Zixuan by his expensive collar almost punching. Had Wei Wuxian not stopped Jiang Cheng, he'd have hit Jin Zixuan. 

Wei Wuxian stood between Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan, separating them from their brawl. Jiang Yanli was standing close to her brother hushedly requesting him to let go. Her eyes were filled with tears, each time she blinked back her tears, her eyes grew red.

“Fighting amongst peers is prohibited.” Wei Wuxian announced still trying to separate Jiang Cheng from Jin Zixuan. “Let go of each other, it's a command.” 

Wei Wuxian's commanding tone did nothing but rile up Jin Zixuan more. “You're one to speak.” Jin Zixuan let go of Jiang Cheng to glare at Wei Wuxian. The veins in his eyes were just as red as the vermilion dot on his forehead. “You act like you are the embodiment of rules but flirt with an engaged woman under everyone's nose.” 

“Jin Zixuan!” Lan Zhan and Jiang Yanli warned in unison. 

Seeing that no one was taking his side infuriated the Jin young master more. He shouted, “Don't pretend like you don't know, Lan Wangji. You deliberately ignore Wei Wuxian and miss Jiang’s promiscuity.”

Lan Zhan was about to say something but failed as Jin Zixuan wouldn't stop his loud mouth. He yelled scowling at Jiang Yanli with disgust, “You shamelessly stare at Wei Wuxian, talk to him, give him gifts, giggling at his jokes. If you're so in love with him why are so adamant to ruin my life.” 

“Jin Zixuan shut up.” Wei Wuxian calmly warned as tears flowed Jiang Yanli's eyes. 

Jin Zixuan did not shut up. Watching Jiang Yanli glare back at him with hot angry tears pouring out did not waver his sharp tongue. “You marry me for my riches and smooch a low born to suck his dic-”

Before Jin Zixuan could finish what he was saying, Wei Wuxian's body acted on its own.“I said shut the fuck up!” He punched Jin Zixuan right across his face, making him knock out on the rock ground. 

Jin Zixuan's servants run to save their master. One servant started bawling when Jin Zixuan spat out a mouth full of blood with his bobbing head. His servants grimaced, crying out loud, showing the teeth that fell out. 

 

Wei Wuxian has fucked up. He knew he fucked up real bad. 

 

Hearing the wails of Jin servants, seniors along with Lan Xichen dashed to the crime scene. Jin Zixuan didn't stop there either. He spit out threat after threat, calling Wei Wuxian names, low born, ill- bred, street rat and what not. Jin Zixuan called his father at once, right at that spot, with the talisman Wei Wuxian invented, and told Wei Wuxian to just wait and watch.

Words from Jin Guangshan came no less than an hour. 

Sect leaders and elders got involved.

Lan Qiren was disappointed at Wei Wuxian's poor self restraint. 

Wei Wuxian was kept under supervision. Thankfully, Lan Xichen took that duty, letting him stay at his quarters for the night.

Wei Wuxian's plan to confess his love to his one and only lover, turned to ashes right before his eyes. He's no one to blame but himself, he doesn't give a shit about Wuming’s opinion. It's his fault that he let his anger take over, his fault for not having control over his body and mind. His fault for punching someone from a higher status. He didn’t expect his punch to be so forceful that it'll knock out someone on the same cultivation level, not to mention the blood and teeth. 

Jin Guangshan arrived at Cloud recesses next morning, and so did Jiang Fengmian. They seemed carefree, greeting and talking, joking even, like it's a funny little incident of little kids fighting over a candy. Like Wei Wuxian's heart wasn't pounding out of his ribcage. 

Rule wise, the appellant and the defendant should be kneeling together before the great ancestors. Being from the higher class, Jin Zixuan victim played thanks to the punch, he sat by his fathers side. Leaving Wei Wuxian knelt alone before the ancestral hall for committing grave mistake. 

They watched him with a smug smile, Jin Zixuan and his father, They watched him with pity and rue, Jiang Fengmian and his two children. They watched him with amusement and delight, Wen Xu and Wen Chao. They watch him helpless and strengthless, Wen Ning and Wen Qing. They watched him with disappointment and dismay, his clan elders, seniors and juniors, and shufu. 

He watched him desperate and devastated, Lan Zhan, constrained in his place by his elders watchful eyes. 

“Just hundred flog.” Jin Guangshan bemoaned, patting his folded fan on his palm. “Aren't you going a little easy on him?” 

Wei Wuxian's mind distracted by loud hushed whispers and clatter of tea cups against tea pot. From near and afar. 

“Hitting others, minor blood shed.” Qingheng-jun repated, “Hundred flog is more than his faults caused.” 

“Ah, are those his only faults?” Bemused Jin Guangshan. 

Lan Qiren grumbled. He knew Jin Guangshan wouldn't let go of Wei Wuxian without making a huge deal out of it. 

Jin Guangshan sipped his tea and smiled. “How can someone like him hit an heir from atrocious clan and run away with just hundred flogs.” When neither the leader or the master reacted, he added, “You treat him like your own, forgetting where he came from.”

“We do not discriminate between disciple’s backgrounds.” Lan Zhan promptly piped up from the gates of the pavilion. 

His defending caused no effect to Jin Guangshan. He rather laughed like it was funny. “So it is true. Hit one, get bitten by another.” Wei Wuxian glanced back with his lowered head, he wished he could telepathically tell Lan Zhan to keep quiet. Jin Guangshan grumbled again, “Just because he's a little intelligent you can't keep him up on your heads, sect leader Lan. Today he punched my son, tomorrow he might punch yours.”

Qingheng-jun frowned a little like he wanted to get over this as soon as possible, “My son and Wuxian are good friends, I don't entertain such imagination.” 

Watching that Qingheng-jun didn't agree with him Jin Guangshan was vexed. “I don't understand how you let your jade of a son get along with a son a servant.” 

Wei Wuxian knew Lan Zhan would speak up again. There are reasons why he loved Lan Zhan terribly. And he hated that Lan Zhan cared for him to the extent of risking his own name. So before Lan Zhan could say anything, Wei Wuxian stopped him with the silencing spell. He was afraid to look back at Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian knows Lan Zhan is furiously glaring at him. After all, he broke their promise to never use that spell on each other. Wei Wuxian can risk his reputation but not Lan Zhan's. 

“If you don't treat him with strictness, people might start believing the rumors.” Jin Guangshan causally says shaking his head. 

Jiang Fengmian earnestly asked, “What rumors? .”

“Oh you don't Know!?” The man cheers up, “There are many. The most widespread one are about Wei Wuxian's relation with grand master Lan.” 

Wei Wuxian isn't well aware of the rumors, he's sure he'll vomit if he knows.

Although Jiang Fengmian made it apparent that he'd not like to know any further, Jin Guangshan briefed about them anyway. “There are rumours about his mother's secret dalliance with grad master Lan.” 

“Sect leader Jin, please refrain furthering.” Qingheng-jun attempted to stop the blabbering man. The one thing about blabber mouths is, they don't know when to stop, even when they are requested to shut up, they'd continue their gibberish.

“Don't you remember Qingheng-jun?” Jin Guangshan says like they are remensicing their past like good old buddies, “When his mother was residing in Cloud recesses, she used to flirt with him all the time.” 

“Cangse was just overly friendly,” Jiang Fengmian interjected showing his annoyance as well. He regarded Wei Wuxian's mother by her name, “Cangse was new to the cultivaton world back then. She loved learning new things from everyone. I would certainly not call it flirting.”

Jin Guangshan rolled his eyes, “Are you saying that to save yourself from the rumors spread about you and her?” 

Wei Wuxian's ears were ringing. Jin Guangshan might as well name every man his mother “flirted” with. 

Jin Guangshan did just that, “Like mother like son. She flirted with everyone. She flirted with you when she was bored of grand master Lan. When she's had her fun, she flirted with your servant as well.” The man in golden robes fanned himself shaking his head with a nonchalant smile, “Who knew she'd actually elope and spawn another version of her  with that servant of yours.” 

“Enough!” Lan Qiren, who's been silent all along, had lost his patience. “One hundred flogs and this hearing is over.” 

Jin Guangshan gazed at Lan Qiren sharply. His face covered with the folding fan, “Do you not understand what I mean.” Jin Guangshan murmured slow but serious, “If you don't punish him throughly, people will be forced to believe you were seduced by that immortal's disciple.” He smirked, “Is that why you took her offspring under your care. Your feelings linger despite her whoreish promiscuity.”

Wei Wuxian is rather surprised how his knees were able to glue themselves in the cobble stones of the sacred grounds. Maybe he's turned a stone himself. Or else why was he not punching that manwhore who dare to call his mother a whore. How come his ears were not bleeding, how come he was not crying. 

“One hundred and fifty.” Lan Qiren declared. 

Jin Guangshan was pleased.

Wei Wuxian didn't care if it was one fifty or two fifty. He dared looking back at Lan Zhan, held by Lan Xichen from running in the pavilion, devastated like he's seeing Wei Wuxian getting beheaded. 

 

Two of the senior deciples were getting ready, each with a thick flog. Wei Wuxian bared himself to be hit, its nothing, he says to himself, he's a good pain  tolarcence. 

 

Just as Lan Qiren was about to declare the start of his punishment, one unexpected person speaks up. She says, “Why is Wei Wuxian the only one being punished.” She says, “Why is young master Jin not held accountable for his misdeeds.” 

Jiang Yanli walked past the pavilion, her father too shocked to see her there, her brother following in tow in an attempt to stop her. She yanks and swats Jiang Cheng’s hands away from her hems. With head held up proudly, she bows and declared, “It takes two to make a quarrel, in this case four.”

Wei Wuxian is too shocked to comprehend where four came from. 

Jiang Yanli clarifies, “Jin Zixuan has yet to face the consequences of his actions. Had he not started obscene cursing, Wei Wuxian would not have hit him. It was me who he was criticising, I should be punished for letting the fire increase. My brother was the one to start the first fight, and Wei Wuxian was only stopping him. I say, he should be punished as well.”

Wei Wuxian's mind blanked out after that. There was a long discussion regarding her proposal. Jin Zixuan and his father was not proud of her. Jiang Cheng was hesitating but accepted whatever decision Lan Qiren took. He couldn’t comperhaned much other than the fact that there were three more people who got floged by his side, hissing in unison with each hit.

 

He was the last to get up from his punishment. One hundred and fifty wasn't really that big of a deal. His back muscles were numb by the time he's taken forty something hits. He stands up on his feets quite easily. He stands and bows to his elders, then to the ancestors, and walks out of the pavilion without showing or feeling any pain. 

Everyone who patiently watched him getting flogged by the perimeter of the pavilion made a path for Wei Wuxian to leave, murmuring and bemoaning his name, out of concern or condolences. 

Lan Xichen catches him by his hands. Wei Wuxian tried to jerk away from his clutch but it turned out he couldn't make bigger moves or take longer steps. “Go to the cold spring.”

“I'm fine.” 

“Listen to me and go.” 

Wei Wuxian preferred Lan Xichen act silly and cringe. He just can't take his genuine thoughtfulness at the moment. 

Lan Xichen tells his younger brother to take him to the cold spring. It was unnecessary, told or not, Lan Zhan would have accompanied him either way.

Wei Wuxian wished he didn't. 

He tried to hold Wei Wuxian's hand. Wei Wuxian felt a sharp pain in his chest and moved his hand away from Lan Zhan.

He didn’t want to be touched. 

Lan Zhan understood without being told. He always does. 

Like a silent companion, he walks Wei Wuxian to the cold spring, inside the cold cave. The dim lights of the cave and the streaming of water welcomes him gently. In there outside world feels foreign and much much safer. He understands now why Lan Ann would bind herself in the cold cave, away from people who she never loved. 

 

Wei Wuxian took off his boots,with a nudge of his legs. Cold stone soothes his feets. He raises his hands to take off his upper robes. The contracting sore muscles threatened to tear up, making him flinch and hiss. Watching him hiss Lan Zhan takes it upon himself to undo his robe knots, his sash belt, he takes off the upper robe as slowly as gently as possible.  He unties Wei Wuxian's second layer of blue robe, slow and steady. Wei Wuxian stands there in his third innermost layer, with his inner garments below it.

“You can go now.” He says moving in the pond, getting near the spring. Lan Zhan follows him in the water without a word. Wei Wuxian says a little harsher, “I told you to go. I won't drown, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan completely ignores his words. He strides forward, taking the ties of the robe above his inner garments. Wei Wuxian doesn't have the energy to stop him. It's not the first time he's standing before Lan Zhan in inner garments. “Gone, happy now? Will you please go?” 

Lan Zhan ignores him, he goes for the ties of his inner shirt. That surprises Wei Wuxian. He's at the edge of his sanity after the humiliation, not stable enough to play along with whatever Lan Zhan has planned. His senses, highly alerted, urged him to fight. There was an attempt to move Lan Zhan's hands from his shirt, but the soreness of his muscles can only be of little help. His legs move backwards on their own. “What's wrong with you? Stop!”

Lan Zhan fights back against Wei Wuxian's defense. At one point he grabs Wei Wuxian's wrist tightly, stopping him from moving entirely. “Be still. I will not repeat again.” 

As if it was not enough to bear the disappointment of his elders, being humiliated with his parents names in front of everyone,  getting flogged a hundred and fifty times wasn't enough, now Lan Zhan was also being rude with him. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. 

He couldn’t take Lan Zhan's harshness.Tears came out on their own.

Though he was scowling at Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan looked at him with utter remorse. “Just do as I ask you to,” he mumbled in his strained out voice, “please.” he added.

Wei Wuxian stopped fighting, his tears did not. Lan Zhan wiped the tears from his cheeks as he untied the knots of his shirt, new tears form and flow. Loosening his shirt, he stands behind, stripping Wei Wuxian from his last layer of robes. There was an audible gasp and a muffled cry of pain. If hot droplets trickled down his numb back, Wei Wuxian didn't mention, Wei Wuxian didn't dare look back.

Wei Wuxian was the one hit, and Lan Zhan was the one crying with pain. 

Warm stream flows through the muscles of his back. Lan Zhan's guqin calloused long fingers tread along the soft- possibly bruised- areas of his skin. He applies pressure in certain places to release the blood clots. It's nothing soothing, his back starts to burn with each pressure.

“It hurts!” Wei Wuxian admits at last, hissing with agony. What exactly hurts he won't be able to tell. His back muscles were in pain, but it hurt more in his heart. This pain compressed his heart between his lungs, as if his rib cage was being squeezed and the arching bones were piercing through his lungs and heart. “It hurts, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian choked out.

Lan Zhan did not comfort him with words, Wei Wuxian is grateful for it. No words could comfort him after what he's heard about himself, about his mother and father, and the man that took him in. He felt like a burden, a flaring brand in Lan Qiren’s name. Lan Qiren being insulted for Wei Wuxian was the least of his expectations. He wanted to run away from Cloud recesses to save Lan Qiren’s face. But where would he go? He knows no place he could stay in. No parents, no close relatives… anywhere he'd feel the same. A burden. A stain in one's name.

Lan Zhan rested his head on Wei Wuxian's shoulder, hands languidly kneading on his numb muscles. He heaved out a shaky breath, crying along with Wei Wuxian. 

Wei Wuxian felt sorry for him. Sorry for making him fall in love with a son of a servant, spawn of a shameless woman. Wei Wuxian should have never met Lan Zhan in the first place. He should have remained a street rat. 

He doesn't want to lose Lan Zhan either. He's glad to have spent his life with him. His childhood and youth was only happy because Lan Zhan came into his life. He's fond of the memories he made with Lan Zhan. He's fond of the place he grew up in.

He can't be a stain on Lan Zhan's name either. Wei Wuxian can't risk making Lan Zhan lose face.

Love? What love? Love for a low born orphan cut sleeve picked up from the streets?

Lan Zhan will love him even if they never confessed their feelings. Wei Wuxian will love Lan Zhan even if he tried not to. This love was now inticrated in their bones, no power will be able to remove that.

He can't control emotions.

What Wei Wuxian can control is their actions. If Wei Wuxian slowly shunned himself away from Lan Zhan. If they stop the vague dance of almost-married, not acting up on their emotions. 

One does not have to be involved romantically to be in love. One can love another from a distance. 

He just needs to create a distance between them.

Slowly. But for surely.

“I wish to be alone for a moment.” Wei Wuxian chooses his words meticulously so that he can make a gap between them without making Lan Zhan feel dejected. 

Lan Zhan lets out a high pitched strangled noise. He tries to speak but fails to form words whenever he's overly emotional. Regardless of his pain, he does as Wei Wuxian requested, leaves him alone. 

Wei Wuxian returned to his dorm room, after hours of soaking in the cold pond, when his core grew tired of accommodating his temperature, when his skin started resembling dried resins, when he grew tired of watching his own reflection, when Wuming finally appeared or he regained the ability to feel Wuming’s presence. 

There was already a person waiting for him in his room. 

“Sect leader Jiang.” Wei Wuxian bowed immediately. It's rare to have elders and seniors visiting the dorms, and here the sect leader of another sect was waiting for him in his small room. Curious disciples had gathered around the hall to know why the sect leader was there. They dare not to make a huge commotion about it. 

“Wei Wuxian,” the sect leader greeted, gesturing him to come in. “Mind if I talk to you for a few moments.”  

Wei Wuxian didn't know what else to do other than nodding

“Ah- you must want to change,” the sect leader says noticing his lack of inner shirt under his two layers of robe and the soaked trousers beneath. The end of his hair strands wet along with the ends of his ribbons. “I'll wait outside for a bit.” 

Wei Wuxian changed his clothes as soon as he could, panicking anxiously. Wuming requests him to calm down, reminding him from time to time that the Jiang sect's leader meant no harm. Wei Wuxian wished he could calm down on command. His heart had a mind of its own, panicking whenever it wanted.

 

The sect leader comes in with a friendly smile. There is a hint of regret in the way that he looks at Wei Wuxian, a lingering sorrow. He requests Wei Wuxian to lay rested  on his bed when Wei Wuxian offered to make him some tea. The sect leader looked gullible from the outside but he turned out awfully stubborn. Wei Wuxian did not have the heart to refuse a sect leader after what happened with a sect heir. 

“A-Cheng and A-Li are on bed rest as well.” Jiang sect leader informed sitting on the edge of his bed. Wei Wuxian apologizes for what his children had to face for him.

“It's not your fault.” Sect leader Jiang says along with Wuming. “I'm rather glad that A-Li brought up proper justice.” He says with no regret, “I broke off their engagement, her Jin Zixuan's.”

Wei Wuxian really did not know what to say other than sorry. It was his fault. He made Jin Zixuan think that Jiang Yanli was attracted to him. He provoked Jin Zixuan to think wrongly about Jiang Yanli. He is the root of all problems. 

“I am glad that I did.” Jiang sect leader's words bewildered him. Which father would be glad to break their daughter's engagement. 

“You must be thinking why am I glad?” Jiang sect leader reads him correctly and laughs knowing that he did. “A-Li would not be happy with Jin Zixuan.” he says, “I want her to marry someone she loves not for the sake of sect alliance.” 

Wei Wuxian nodded, having nothing much to say about the sect leaders' decisions. He's afraid he'll say something wrong if he opens his mouth, and he'll be humiliated again. 

The sect leader pats his head out of the blue. His big gentle hand covered the top of his skull. No adult has treated him like this, not since he stepped in his teen age, not even Lan Qiren. Wei Wuxian feels guilty to be relaxed. “It must have hurt,” the man says, “I'm sorry you had to go through this for my children.” 

Wei Wuxian was the one who should be sorry. He wanted to apologize again. But the words couldn't form in his head. He opened his mouth, moved his tongue, gaped but no sound came out of his throat.

He was helpless. 

“You know the zhuazhou ritual people hold on children's first year birthdays?” Sect leader Jiang asks out of nowhere, retreating his hand back to his lap. When Wei Wuxian nodded with a short reply, the man smiled and continued, “A-Li chose an ink brush and A-Cheng chose a sword.” 

Wei Wuxian's mind wandered to what Lan Zhan must have chose, and why the sect leader was talking about it in the first place. 

“Do you know what you choose?” The sect leader asked and laughed when Wei Wuxian got perplexed by the question.

“I don't know.” Wei Wuxian answered feeling a little afloat. 

“Guess.” 

“A book?” 

“No.” 

“An abacus.”

The sect leader shook his head with a tight grin. 

“Sword, talisman, shallot, flute?” Whatever Wei Wuxian guessed was incorrect. The sect leader kept shaking his head, biting back his smile like he was teasing Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian tried not to whine, “Am I allowed to give up guessing. I don't know what else is used for fortune telling.”

“You held nothing actually.” 

Wei Wuxian gaped at the sect leader with disappointment clear in his face. He expected some sad answer but what the sect leader said was just wrong. Any other day Wei Wuxian would have thrown a childish tantrum. 

The sect leader laughed like every other sophisticated sect leader does. “Changze said he offered you quite a lot of stuff. You grasped whatever was given to you, but then you'd let it go as soon as you held it.” 

Wei Wuxian thinks, as a child he must have thought of it as a game. To throw stuff and laugh, be silly. 

“The fortune tellers depicted it as a good sign. She said you'd grow up to be a person who does not hold grudges.” 

“Oh-” Wei Wuxian- perplexed again- uttered. 

The sect leader took a deep breath. He held Wei Wuxian's hand looking at him earnestly, “I hope you'll be kind enough to hold no grudges against my children or me.” 

“No- no- i never!" Wei Wuxian tried to differ "I was not mad at them in the first place..or you. I'm not angry.”

The sect leader smiled at him brightly. It's a different kind of smile, one with no sorrow or regret. The one that lights up a heavy heart. 

Before he left, he invited Wei Wuxian to visit Yunmeng sometime. Wei Wuxian promised he'd with no certainanity. Because promises are fickle and hard to keep.

 

Then news came, Jiang sect leader took his daughter back to Yunmeng. She left without a goodbye. It was probably the best for both of them. 

 

Wei Wuxian requested to drop out of the guest lectures that night. Lan Qiren granted him his request with a plate of sliced watermelons and a jar of his favorite rice cracker. His silent way of saying sorry for punishing him wrongly. 

His peers came over, with more salted snacks. They chat, gossip, be generally chaotic until they reach curfew time. Their silent way to cheer Wei Wuxian up.

Lan Zhan invites him to sleep with him later. Wei Wuxian excuses himself, “I want to clear my head, can you give me some time.” 

Lan Zhan doesn't force him. He leaves tucking Wei Wuxian  to his bed with a small nod and tender goodnight.

Wei Wuxian hopes he doesn't fail his plan. If he fails, he'll fail Lan Zhan and the family that brought him up.

Notes:

No jokes to make, only pajn

Chapter 43: Lost in the Lotusland

Notes:

Wanted to write the Yunmeng part in one chapter but it got too big and I got too much into detail. 👉👈
Also, some tags are getting changed

Geese arrive at water edge. Chrysanthemums bloom in bright yellow. Plants shed their leaves. Insects have gone dormant, no cicadas sing. Cool breeze begins to rise, mountain mist begins to increase, indicating the end of a difficult summer. The saying “tiger autumn” lasts only a few weeks in the mountains of Gusu. In the northern corners of the highest mountains, sparkling dew drops on grass blades welcome autumn as silently as it bid summer.

Farewell of summer, meant farewell of guest disciples. Wei Wuxian braces himself to say goodbye to the people who visited his short life. He's said his goodbyes to the Wen siblings a long time ago. A few days after Wei Wuxian dropped out, Wen Xu walked out of Gusu saying it wasn't fun anymore. Lan disciples were glad that the Wens were gone.

Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang had been happily packing their luggage for the last few days.Once they are gone Wei Wuxian will have no one to excuse himself from Lan Zhan.

After dropping out of the morning lectures, Wei Wuxian was quite successful in keeping his distance from the boy he loved. They cross paths, stay near each other, but never too close. Wei Wuxian used to tell Lan Zhan that he needed to make Nie Huaisang pass his exams at all costs. He used to force Nie Huaisang to study with him just to make Lan Zhan stay away from him. Lan Zhan wasn't delighted but he wasn't absolutely dejected about it. Wei Wuxian wasn't proud of himself either. At least, Nie Huaisang passed his third year in Gusu, that alone is a great achievement for him.

 

“Here's what you asked for.” Nie Mingjue handed him a bundle of scrolls. There was an old pact between them. If Nie Huaisang passed, Nie Mingjue will allow him to study their old cultivational method.  “I don't really remember why you wanted them.”

Wei Wuxian is hardly interested in anything anymore. He still thanks the sect leader for granting him his wish. 

“Did you not had a blue lizard thing with you?” Nie Mingjue had asked. 

“Yes…” Wei Wuxian showed Wuming coile around his shoulders. 

“Where is that thing?” Nie Mingjue asked again. 

“He's right here.” 

Nie Mingjue couldn't see Wuming anymore. From what little Wei Wuxian understands, Nie Mingjue has no clear memory of Wuming either. He didn’t remember why he was afraid to let Wei Wuxian touch Baxia. He's poor memory of the obscure dream he saw. He's unsure why he disliked Wei Wuxian, why he abhorred Meng Yao.

Whatever knowledge he'd had of the future was gone from his memory. Wei Wuxian knows it has little to do with the man's poor memory and more with the celestial rules. He perhaps violated those rules and whatever blessing he'd had was taken away from him.

Wei Wuxian was none to point finger at. He's had his fair share of violations. Wuming’s scales were faded blue, horns and mane in white. 

He's going to lose him too. 

He doesn't know why.

Wei Wuxian always loses what he wants the most.

 He has lost his parents. He's about to lose Wuming and he can't have Lan Zhan. 

Wei Wuxian has decided, if his doubts were to be true, if Wuming truly vanishes from his life, he'll leave Cloud recesses.

He won't leave Cloud recesses entirely, it's not possible for him. But he'll not stay there for long either. He'll roam around the world, help the people in need, return when homesickness gets the best of him.

That way he'll be away from Lan Zhan. That way he won't taint Lan Zhan's name. 

“Sect leader Jiang invited you to Yunmeng.” Lan Qiren states in the silence of his quarters. Wei Wuxian spends more time on marking reports on his behalf, as a distraction. 

“Mn. He did on his last visit.” Wei Wuxian replied not looking. It'd been awkward with Lan Qiren ever since that day, since he learned how people perceive his relation with the man. They both try their best not to show their uneasiness. But one deep look and discomfort seeps out from the cracks of their fake smiles and short answers.

“Officially.” Lan Qiren added with an emphasis. 

Wei Wuxian glanced at the man with slight puzzlement. Lan Qiren handed him a letter from his pile of papers. 

A letter with the Yunmeng insignia, asking Lan Qiren to allow Wei Wuxian to visit Yunmeng during the festivity of mid autumn celebrations. To cherish the memories of his bosom friend Wei Changze.  He's regarded Wei Wuxian as the son of his close friends.

“It's harvest season down in the villages of Gusu.” Wei Wuxian folds the letter neatly. “I've promised to help a few groups of harvesters. I can't go now.” 

Wei Wuxian uses every opportunity to be busy, to excuse himself away from Lan Zhan. Even so, Yunmeng is too far to be away from his heart.

“You should go.” Lan Qiren urged pressing on the matter. “You've been lost in the blue for months.” 

Wei Wuxian shook his head in refusal. He's marked his share of reports. Now empty handed, he's nothing to distract himself. His disinterest in everything has been quite obvious to everyone. Nothing glows brightly in his eyes. The days are dim as night. He feels sleepy during the day but can't sleep at night. If sleep does come, he's awoken by nightmares of laughter and humiliation.

He's losing himself before he loses anyone.

“The head disciple of Jiang will pick you up tomorrow.” Lan Qiren says pulling him out of his void of thoughts. He's holding the communication talisman Wei Wuxian invented, “I told him you'll be going.” 

Wei Wuxian hates his invention.  He made it to talk with Lan Zhan when they were far from each other. But look at him now. He's so close to Lan Zhan yet he barely speaks five words to that boy. 

Lan Zhan is always waiting for him outside Lan Qiren’s quarters. He waits in hopes that Wei Wuxian will jump on his heels and follow him to Jingshi, in hopes of having a good conversation with him. These days Lan Zhan does most of the talking. It's like their roles were reversed, Lan Zhan asks one after one question, Wei Wuxian answers short and quick. 

“Busy again tonight?” Lan Zhan asks, his head inclined adorably. 

“Mn,” Wei Wuxian nodded. They walk to the disciples dorm pavilion, taking small steps, close but not close enough for their hands to accidentally brush against each other. “I have to make preparations for tomorrow.” 

“For?” 

“I'm invited to Yunmeng Jiang. Someone will be here to pick me up.” 

“Oh-” Lan Zhan says, staggering in his steps.

“Mn,” Wei Wuxian says, pretending not to notice.

“Can I come along?” 

A part of Wei Wuxian wants to say yes. Instead Wei Wuxian says “I have a request for you actually.” He asked Lan Zhan if he could lend his hand to the people Wei Wuxian promised to help. Its labor work, nothing much to do with their cultivation. Most cultivators will decline working for fields and crops. Lan Zhan is the only person he could trust his task with. 

“How long will you be staying?” Lan Zhan asked after accepting his request. 

“Not sure.” Wei Wuxian replied.

“Not sure?” Lan Zhan repeated. “You'll be back before your birthday, no?” 

Wei Wuxian bites his lips. He wants to, he wants not to. If he stays it'll be a good practice to tame his heart's desperation, if he returns he'll lose against himself. He's lost in confusion. 

“Be back.” Lan Zhan pleaded sincerely ,“please.”

“I'll try.” Wei Wuxian wants to be back. He's been celebrating all his birthdays with Lan Zhan. Lovers or not he doesn’t want to lose the friendship he has. 

 

From the start of spring to the end of summer, two seasons were full of high-low tides of emotions. The chill of autumn brings melancholy of lost opportunities. He still wonders what would have happened had he not punched Jin Zixuan that day. He'd have confessed, Lan Zhan would have reciprocated. They'd have been so awfully in love that people would be disgusted. Perhaps, he'd be shamed for seducing the second jade like his mother. Lan Qiren would be disgusted by him, he'd be ashamed of himself for bringing in a cut-sleeve. Everyone would look at Lan Zhan and call him a tarnished jade.

Perhaps it was right to lose that opportunity,   such thoughts are Wei Wuxian's only solace. 

The head disciple of Jiang waits for him at the gates. Wei Wuxian bowed to Lan Qiren one last time before leaving for Yunmeng. He bid his farewell to his friends. The one that won't let him depart was Lan Zhan. 

Before he could step out of the gates of Cloud recesses, Lan Zhan was reminding him of a list of things he must remember. He has given Wei Wuxian a qiankun pouch of everything he might need. He wrapped around a knitted muffler around his neck knowing full well Wei Wuxian has his own personal neck warmer i.e. Wuming. 

“Wear warm clothes.” Lan Zhan reminds. “Don't fall on the rivers.” He won't let go of that one drowning accident. “Eat properly, sleep on time.”

Wei Wuxian said yes to all of his reminders. He couldn’t stop from smiling a little, “I'm not a little child, Lan Zhan.” 

Lan Zhan fell silent. He's holding the hem of Wei Wuxian’s sleeves, wanting to say more. Wei Wuxian kept his gaze fixed on the tiny fist on his sleeve rather than meeting Lan Zhan's frantic eyes. Fearing that if he does, he'll turn back his invitation to Yunmeng. 

“We are getting late.” The head disciple of Jiang infared, unsteady on his steps. He is a youth in his early twenties, just a few years older than Wei Wuxian. He's known to have a better than average cultivation, his looks nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe he'd look good if he did not have a frown between his brows.

“Yes, we're done.” Wei Wuxian answered feeling irritated. Wei Wuxian turned back to Lan Zhan, “I have to go now.” He mumbles, taking the risk to meet Lan Zhan's eyes. Those golden eyes lacked the usual shimmer it used to have. Wei Wuxian knew the reason behind the lack of shine in those eyes. What else could Wei Wuxian do other than beg forgiveness. Wei Wuxian managed to speak before he stepped out of the gates, “Be well.” 

“Return back soon.” Lan Zhan stops him in his stride, pulling his hand. They stand there silently staring at each other, one outside the gates, one inside the gates. Their hands in the middle of the threshold. Lan Zhan repeated more clearly, “Return back.”

“I will.” Wei Wuxian promised. “As soon as possible.” 

 

They separated, distance grew as well as longing. Not long before Wei Wuxian left the vicinity of Cloud recesses, his heart tears wanting to go back where he belongs. 

“Uhhhh…” the Jiang head disciple uttered a little ahead of Wei Wuxian. They were flying on their swords to travel faster. “You are just visiting Yunmeng, right?”

“Yeah.” Wei Wuxian's trembling voice managed.

“Just making sure.” The man snorted, “That was one heck of a scene actually. Straight out of a theater play.” 

What does he know of the pain separating from one's Zijhi. That man has no idea the heartache Wei Wuxian goes through on a daily basis. “I've never traveled that far from him. It's natural to be sentimental.” 

“I guess?” The head disciple shrugged. He tried engaging in small talk with Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian would be blabbering with him if he wasn't feeling so blue. He's lost his interest in chit-chat, let alone with people he barely knew. Throughout the small talks, Wei Wuxian learned the man's name, a member from the Yu clan. He informed Wei Wuxian of Yunmeng Lotus pier, that his shimei and shidi- Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng- are eagerly waiting for his arrival. Wei Wuxian has doubts Jiang Cheng would be so eager to see him again after having to deal with him for months.  

 

Yunmeng is warmer than Gusu, no less vibrant either. Being in between the southern tepidity and northern breeze, autumn lasts longer than other provinces. The forests are embellished with all shades of yellow, orange and red leaves of oak, maple, tupelo, rowan, pistace, cypress, birch, ginkgo. He could smell the scent of fallen leaves on damp soil from up above. He wished Lan Zhan could see the view as well. 

Yunmeng is widely known for its widespread rivers, embraced by hills, adorned by lotuses and water lilies. Autumnal hues from the hills reflects upon the crystal clear water. Fishermen glide their boats, throwing their fishe nets on clear spaces. Lotus pier that is known to be wreathed with ever blooming lotuses, now lack the usual glamor. Throughout the withering lotueses, there are plentiful lotuses blooming gracefully. The pier it self is ornamented with stalls of many. There were vegetables, fruits, flowers, traders calling for customers making it obvious as a farmers market. It's quite uncommon to allow a farmers market, flea market, a whole bazaar to be placed right before a sect.

Wei Wuxian losses his mind as soon as he steps on the docks. No sooner did he landed his feet on the wooden docks, traders from different- every stalls called for his attention.

“These people,” Yu Zang, the Jiang head disciple, rolled his eyes with a mixture of annoyance and amusement. “Don't pay attention to them. They target rich young masters and rob them in bright daylight.” 

“Rob them?!” Wei Wuxian fixed his robes tightly for if someone snatched his money purse or worse- Lan Zhan's qiankun pouches- he'd be in grave danger.

“Errrr- not literally,” Yu Zang’s smile wavered trying to explain what he meant, “You know what I mean? Everyone loves to have a spoiled sophisticated rich young master as their customer. They think you know nothing of market prices and ask for a higer price for a common purchase.” 

Wei Wuxian is not a spoiled sophisticated rich young master. Maybe the neatly pressed layers of white silk robes make him appear as a refined young man, but he'd not call himself sophisticated. 

Wei Wuxian's mind changes when he passed the docks. On the roads where common people flock and run, Wei Wuxian remembered Jiang Cheng mentioning the difference between Yunmeng dialect and Gusu dialect. While gusu dialect is honeyed and lilting with a melodic accent, Yunmeng dialect is strong and abrasive, coarse at worst. The common people brood along the path to the gates of Lotus pier saying all kinds of things one would say to their worst enemies. Wei Wuxian saw fight between common floks of Gusu, never did they ever curse each other's seven generations. Wei Wuxian has never heard a woman say fuck ten times in a single breath just because some unruly children bumped into her. His ears ring each someone curses someone's mother, someone fucks someone's sisters, someone does something to someone's genitals. 

Compared to all that, even if he hates to accept it, Wei Wuxian is quite sophisticated.

 

He thought his surroundings would change once he's inside Lotus pier. While the atmosphere is adequately quieter, no one was cursing no one's dick, Jiang disciples were far more loud. There were runny nosed dirt covered children running around clothesless around the front of the sect where Jiang disciples train. The children are most likely to be outsiders, climbing on and off the walls and trees,  playing with training equipment, calling the Jiang disciples names, and Jiang disciples playing along. Few of the Jiang disciples scurry around to greet them in front of the gates, dusting off their muddy black and purple robes. The disciples cheer out their dashixiong’s name, alerting everyone from their playful leisure. 

“Fucking around whenever I'm gone?” Yu Zang pulls a particularly plump disciple into a headlock, making the boy burst into unserious apologies. Their playfulness reminded Wei Wuxian of his own mischievous juniors. Lan Zhan would be mad at them if he ever caught them in their tomfoolery, though he never pulled them in a headlock. 

 

Hearing that the head disciple has returned, Jiang Fengmian appeared from the inner buildings with big fast strides.

 

Things were good until then. As soon as Jiang Fengmian came to his view, the air around him vanished.The sickening sensation of impending peril held his heart in a tight squeeze. Wei Wuxian is no stranger to the omnipresence of an enigmatic shadow. He never breathed a word of its existence to anyone, not even Wuming. It never affected him nor did it ever act up. Most times Wei Wuxian forgets about its existence all together, like his own shadow.The few times that it did act up was when Jiang Yanli was near. Now, in the grounds of Lotus pier it was as unsteady as a raging ocean. It affected him metaphysically in a way he can't describe. The calm spirit's maddening twists trigger him to a peculiar taction of uneasiness, weariness, nauseating feeling in his guts.

 

The sickness disperse as abruptly as it appeared. Jiang Fengmian was standing right before him. The man practically beams at Wei Wuxian. He greets Wei Wuxian with a gentle pat on his head, “Wei Wuxian, it's good to see you again.”

Wei Wuxian bowed immediately, flustered by the man's affection. The shock of an unusual phantom ache has yet to go. Regardless it's not as bad as it was a heartbeat ago.

The Jiang disciples stare at Wei Wuxian with intense curiosity of a child who's seen blazing fire for the first time. They gossip among themselves calling Wei Wuxian the infamous Wei. Wei Wuxian isn't sure if they mean good or bad but Wuming assured they're nothing to worry about so Wei Wuxian doesn't. His attention was on answering the sect leader's inquiries of his lengthy journey.  

 

At the inner courtyard, he is greeted by Jiang Yanli. Her keen eyes catch Wei Wuxian's discomfort at first glance. “You look tired!” Was the first thing she said to him. 

“It's nothing to worry about.” Wei Wuxian tried laughing it off. But the young miss, being an indulgent sister, refuses to believe Wei Wuxian. “I'll be fine-” 

He hears barks.

He hears himself scream.

One thing Wei Wuxian forgot about the Jiang sect are beasts that Jiang Cheng calls his children. The loud barks of those beasts pierce his ears. Just as he shrieks with a loud shrill, he hides behind whoever is near him. Unfortunately it was the sect leader of the sect he was visiting. Wei Wuxian is embarrassed of his behavior but fear gets the best of him. At times like this he misses Lan Zhan the most. Lan Zhan has been his only sanctuary from his fear of dogs. Without him he feels exposed to the fangs of vicious predators. 

Despite being terrified, Wei Wuxian was mindful not to clutch on Jiang Fengmian like an impudent boy. However, Jiang Fengmian acted like Wei Wuxian was no outsider. He pulled Wei Wuxian in his arms, hiding Wei Wuxian's face on his chest like he was not sixteen but six. 

“What's wrong, Wei Wuxian?” Jiang Fengmian inquired, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“A-Cheng! Did I not tell you to keep them far.” Jiang Yanli scolded.

“I didn't know he was here!” Jiang Cheng groaned. “Why do I have to hide them in their own home, it's not their fault Wei Wuxian is afraid of dogs.” 

Right! Wei Wuxian thought to himself. He's the one invading their house. He should put up with whatever is thrown at him. 

Wei Wuxian tried to slip out of Jiang Fengmian’s arms but the man pulled him closer. “Why didn't you tell me he was afraid of dogs?” 

“A-die, it's not that big of a deal.” Jiang Cheng refuted. He grabbed Wei Wuxian's arm, pulling him out of Jiang Fengmian’s clutch. “Why are you sticking to him like that! Have some shame. What are you, Five?”

Wei Wuxian wanted to be free of Jiang Fengmian too. But his body won't listen. The barks of dogs were near and loud. Wei Wuxian felt outnumbered by them. He flinched every time they barked and panted near his feet.

Why was he such a damn coward? 

He couldn’t feel Wuming either. He disappears whenever Wei Wuxian is terrified. He can't have anyone when life spirals down. Wei Wuxian can't depend on anyone. At this rate he'll have to learn to be able to stand up for himself. If he ever leaves Cloud recesses he can't cry out Lan Zhan's name every time he sees a dog.

 

Wei Wuxian sucks up a lungful of air and peels himself out of Jiang Fengmian’s arms. He peeks at the dogs in front of him and says, “I'm fine! You don't have to take them away.” 

“See? He says he's fine.” Jiang Cheng yanks Wei Wuxian out of his father's hold. “Man up, Wei Wuxian!” 

Wei Wuxian's knees were shaking by that time. His lungs burned with every inhale, like air was ignited with fuel. His head was dizzy and his vision had gone hazy. With his blurry eyesight he sees three dogs meeting up to Jiang Cheng’s waist. Their height alone is enough to make Wei Wuxian's soul wither. Wei Wuxian doesn't understand how Jiang Cheng calls those beast his children. The Jiang heir in black and purple pats all three of his dogs with a big smile, introducing him by their names.

The one with white fur Wei Wuxian knows is Jasmine, the apple of Jiang Cheng’s eyes, his favorite child with a fear of separation. There is one with creamy pine wood color fur with long goat like ears, she is named Princess. The other in pure black, soft spikey fur is named Loved.

If Wei Wuxian was a little less afraid, he'd be laughing at their names. But Wei Wuxian has yet to get over his fear of dogs, he's never tried to overcome his fear. He was lulled to a sense of safety, that Lan Zhan will always protect him. He never thought there would come a day when Wei Wuxian would run away from those safe arms. 

 

“You've bothered him enough.” Jiang Yanli pulls her brother by his ears, “ Be nice to him.He's getting pale.” 

“But I am being nice!” 

“Take them to their pens, right now!” She demands frowning deeply, pointing her fingers at some far corner. When she turns to Wei Wuxian, her deep frown melts to a soft smile. She tugs her sleeves saying, “A-Xian, should rest for the day.”

Wei Wuxian lets her win. 

Jiang Fengmian calls for a disciple to help Wei Wuxian out, as Jiang Yanli takes Wei Wuxian to his guest room. She apologizes on behalf of her brother calling him an overgrown child. She says he's never had an actual friend who put up with his aggressive characteristics for this long. So when that friend comes to his home he gets excited to show the one thing he loves. Wei Wuxian agreed that Jiang Cheng becomes a little handful from time to time, but he won't say he hates the way Jiang Cheng has treated him thus far. Wei Wuxian asks about Madam Yu, whose face Wei Wuxian has yet to see. Jiang Yanli informed him that her mother will be absent for the time being. She spends most of her time night hunting with her maids outside of the sect. She won't be returning before winter. Wei Wuxian nearly asks her why she won't be celebrating mid autumn festival with her family, he thinks better of it.

 

The room Wei Wuxian is given was bigger than the general guest room, way bigger than his dorm.  It's auspiciously decorated with mahogany wood furniture, bronze sculptures, and nature paintings mostly lotueses. The window is directly faced to a pond full of blooming lotus, occasional wind carries their scent in his room. Yunmeng's autumnal afternoon is more colorful than Gusu. It's quite peaceful. Yet, Wei Wuxian's heart knows no peace.

Wei Wuxian slumps on the bed- cushioned with a softer mattress- and pulls out the talisman he's connected with Lan Zhan with years ago. He sends a message, “I've arrived.” 

A reply comes immediately, “Good to know. Clean up and rest.” 

“I am resting.” 

“Good. Rest.” 

“You too.” Wei Wuxian cringes at his own response. 

“Mn, I will.” 

Wei Wuxian writes the characters for “I miss you” and wipes it out before he could send it. He's weak over his own ambition. He didn’t think he'd miss Lan Zhan this woefully. He misses Lan Zhan, he misses his own bed, he misses Lan Zhans bed, he misses Lan Zhan's warmth, he misses the quietness of Jingshi, he misses home. 

“Why am I here?” he says mostly to himself. 

Wuming hears him, floating above his line of sight, “You can return back. You're not obligated to stay.” 

“No,” Wei Wuxian turns to his side, not wanting to show his miserable face to Wuming, “I should get used to being apart from him.” 

“Like I said, you're torturing yourself for nothing Wei Ying. You're overthinking everything. You being away from him will not help your heart grow apart.” Wei Wuxian covers his ears with a pillow. He doesn’t want to hear Wuming’s overly positive view of life. He makes everything sound so easy that it makes Wei Wuxian want to rant and rave about how the easiest things are hard for Wei Wuxian to deal with. He's just so weak at heart, weaker when it involves Lan Zhan. 

 

Growing up in Cloud recesses, he's adapted into a strict sleep schedule. Waking up at five, go to sleep at nine, he's never slept during the day, or take short naps. Exhaustion of his heart and mind caught up to his body when he reached Yunmeng. The loudness of the disciples and the scare with dogs had weakened both body and mind. He fell asleep at an odd hour, woke up with swollen eyes and puffed face, dizzy and lost in a mild headache. 

It's dark outside, half moon peeks out of gray clouds. Wei Wuxian can't tell the time with the different atmosphere. He washes his face, wraps around the clock Lan Zhan had packed. It's completely unnecessary given the tepid air of Yunmeng. He still wears it for it's comforting weight and the sweet scent of sandalwood. He walks outside with a grumbling stomach.

Wuming said it's hours past seven, dinner should be served by that time. It's awkward to ask for food at a place he knows nothing about. He came across a few disciples running around the halls, Wei Wuxian habitually recited “Don't run,” and chastised himself for scaring the kids away. Lotus pier was not his sect, Jiang disciples are not his junior, they don't have rules prohibiting from running. Who is Wei Wuxian to stop the Jiang disciples?  Now they stay ten feet away from Wei Wuxian, staring at him like he's some flesh eating monster they should never provoke. 

He finds the dining hall on his own. It's clean and devoid of any disciples. The servant informs him that Jiang disciples don't have dinner till nine at night, if he's hungry he may eat light snacks outside the sect like any Jiang disciples does. 

He couldn't find Jiang Cheng or Jiang Yanli's quarters, the sect leader's hall was empty, disciples avoided him, and he couldn't ask for help either. 

In the end he goes outside by himself. Back in cloud recesses, there was a rule for the disciples to return to their grounds before sunset. If they were out night hunting, they'd hire inn rooms to stay the night out, eventually returning the next morning. Wei Wuxian has never felt the need to venture outside after sunset. He's too busy with his report marking, writing his own reports, then his personal projects, the thought of taking a walk at night in the towns of Gusu never crossed his head. Even so, he could tell the difference between Gusu and Yunmeng nights. At night the roads of Yunmeng are livelier with less cold, more people. There were numerous stalls of street food orchestrating the sound of sizzling oil, pans and wok clattering into spatulas and knives. The vendor owners sang songs to attract customers, each stall had a small group of Jiang disciples dressed in purple and black, chattering and laughing at each other's jokes. Loneliness crept above Wei Wuxian's chest. Among the buoyant laughter and giggles he felt tragically lonely. He wished Lan Zhan was there beside him. Had he been there, people would know what true laughter is. Had Lan Zhan been there with him, Yunmeng would see a different Wei Wuxian, a Wei Wuxian who is loud and boisterous, a boy who's giggling and joking about one thing or another, someone who knows to live life to the fullest.

Lan Zhan owns a great part of himself. He can't let out a single breath without thinking of Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian wondered if Lan Zhan would eat the red spicy chickens, what face Lan Zhan would have made at the strong aroma of spice, how'd he react to spicy dumplings. Wei Wuxian buys sweets alongside the spicy foods to honour his bestfriend. He'd have bought them anyway had Lan Zhan been with him. He returns to his guest room to enjoy his meals in silence, Lan Zhan would have preferred it that way.

Though Wei Wuxian loved spicy food, he didn't enjoy his meals at all. This was the first time in his life he's had a meal in pure isolation, except for the presence of Wuming. Thank heaven Wuming was there, or he'd have failed swallowing those meals throughout his sobbing. The last time he ate alone was when he lost his parents, when he used to roam around the streets begging for food.

He's still afraid of aloneness apparently. How's he supposed to travel around the world if he can't handle one lonesome meal? 

 

Jiang Fengmian knocked at his doors when Wei Wuxians biological clock was alerting him of sleep time. The man always greets him with a loving smile like he's not the sect leader and Wei Wuxian is….just Wei Wuxian. “I came by earlier, you were asleep.” 

“Traveling by sword happens to be too tiring.” Wei Wuxian has plastered a fake smile on his face. When he invited Jiang Fengmian inside to sit, the man invites him for a walk instead. “To show around,” he says. Wei Wuxian wondered what there is to see in the dead of night, there was plenty.

The first place Jiang Fengmian shows him is the small shack his father used to live in. It is located near the inner courtyard, separated from the sect buildings. The shack itself is made out of the same wood used in every other building. It's just as big as Wei Wuxian's dorm room, now used as Jiang Fengmian’s store room. Jiang Fengmian enlightened him of the life his father had in Lotus pier. His father was bought into the sect at an early age for ordinary chores. He was two years older than Jiang Fengmian yet referred  him as big brother. They practically grew up together, like childhood friends. Jiang Fengmian used to teach him sword forms and fighting methods in secret, he'd teach his father to read and write  letters, words, sentences, eventually talisman. “Your father was a fast learner.” Jiang Fengmian said, “just like Wei Ying.” Wuming purred. Jiang Fengmian shows all the places his father and him used to hide and play. The trees that his father loved to climb, the walls his father used to jump above, the place they used to fish in, what fish he liked, his favorite food, his least favorite food. He loved spring and hated rain, and was afraid of thunder.

“He was a calm person by nature.” Jiang Fengmian pondered gazing absently at the river at the end of the pier. Half moon shone upon the streaming water with a chilled breeze carrying a sense of melancholy. The man murmured, “You resemble your father when you are calm.”

Wei Wuxian remained silent, a warm smile bore on his face. 

“When you smile wide and bright, you look just like your mother.”

Wei Wuxian's smile broadens at the mention. He's glad he carries parts of his parents,  he wants to wear them with pride. 

“Your mother was like a storm of wind, upturning peoples' worlds.” Jiang Fengmian sighs, his tone lacked the ardor he used when talking about his father. Wei Wuxian pretends not to notice. “Her feet never stayed in one place. She chose neither the blazing sun or calming moon, but the shade of a sedate tree.” 

Wei Wuxian freezes remembering what Jin Guangshan called his mother. For a moment he feared Jiang Fengmian would hint the same. If he did, Wei Wuxian's view on this weirdly affectionate man would crumble into dust like every other plan of his life. 

Fortunately Jiang Fengmian’s manner of speaking had an inkling of grief enveloped in a sore heart. His lips were upturn in a smile never meeting those rueful eyes. His almond shaped eyes looked at Wei Wuxian with forlorn hope of finding those who've long since left the mortal world. 

“I have something to give you actually.” Jiang Fengmian says, always smiling like his daughter. He takes Wei Wuxian to his private quarters, in his study. Wei Wuxian noticed the married couple did not live together in the same house like people in Cloud recesses. It's not entirely uncommon for the husband and wife to spend their time separately. Seeing how affectionate Jiang Fengmian is with him, Wei Wuxian naturally assumed he's affectionate with his family as well. How come a man that always smiles and gently pats his head, not be overly affectionate with his wife and children? Wei Wuxian saw how Jiang Fengmian cared for his daughter, going as far as breaking her engagement that could have benefited him highly. Nevertheless, it's wrong to presume, given the way the Jiang siblings viewed love and affection all together.

“Here, open it.” Jiang Fengmian says hauling out an old small cardboard box from the pile of boxes on his book shelf. The box itself was unsuspecting, covered in a thin sheet of dust. When Wei Wuxian opened the box he saw the clarity bell that only Jiang disciples carry with them. Wei Wuxian was at a loss for words. He did not understand why the sect leader of Jiang was giving him a sect significant emblem to an outsider from another sect. Unless…..  

Before Wei Wuxian could react poorly, Jiang Fengmian whispered as low as a secret, “I wanted to give this to Changze, your father.” 

Of course, his father. 

Wei Wuxian heaved out a sigh. He felt guilty to doubt the man's affection for something else. “He eloped before you could give this to him?” Wei Wuxian jokes, feeling the softness of the fine quality purple tassel.

Jiang Fengmian huffed, “I couldn't get the courage to give it to him. Before I could, it was already too late.” 

“Why's that?” Wei Wuxian asked without thinking twice. He bites his tongue as soon as he speaks. But the man cackled like Wei Wuxian was not being rude. Something about this man's friendliness makes him forget that he's a sect leader and Wei Wuxian is… just Wei Wuxian. 

“Well,” Jiang Fengmian’s shoulders slumped with a loud sigh. “I wanted to tell him something along with this gift. Then each time I tried I chickened out.” 

Wei Wuxian carefully doesn't laugh along with Jiang Fengmian’s jokes. “What is that you wanted to say…?” 

Jiang Fengmian’s smile became woeful again, “I can't tell you that.” 

“Ah- sorry! that was too impudent of me!” 

“No, don't worry. I don't mind you asking.” Jiang Fengmian assured him, patting him on his shoulder, “I wish you'd keep it on behalf of your father.” 

Wei Wuxian took the bell on his hand, it was round designed with nine lotus petals, it is said to symbolise the nine stages of spiritual growth and the journey towards enlightenment. When the bell chimes it clears the mind of a person dealing with untold difficulties. Wei Wuxian bowed to the sect leader in gratitude. He retreated to his room with a lighter heart and clearer head. It was far past nine, his usual bed time. When servants came to fetch him for dinner he apologized meekly saying he's already ate.

Far past his bed time and Wei Wuxian found Lan Zhan had wished him a sweet good night through their talisman.

“Sleep well Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian sends to his soulmate.  “I'm feeling a little better than before.” He sends afterwards, shall it soothe his soulmates warrying heart. 

Notes:

Wei Wuxian: *suffering chronological depression*
The whole Lan sect: okay..... so this is getting awkward.... why isn't he smiling?????
I just love to think everyone in Cloud recesses gets hives whenever Wei Wuxian gets sad, like, oh no!! their happy little boy is sad what do we- emotionally constipated and repressed people- do???
Lqr: I know what to do! Send him to his fathers friends house where memories of his parents will bring him to live!
>:^)== (It almost works)
Lwj: *crying in his room* shufu! Shufu! how am I supposed to take care of my avoidant depressed boyfriend now!!

 

*
Wwx: I'm not sophisticated :(
Yunmeng folks: Suck your sister's hairy fucking dick you motherfucker
Wwx: I'm sophisticated :)

*
Jasmine is a samoyed, Princess is a golden retriever, Love is black Norwegian elkhound.

*
Wei Wuxian: *wrapped in expensive clothes , squinted puffy eyes, suffering from headache and bad sleep* why's everyone scared of me?
Jiang disciples: oh no, the rich, spoiled sophisticated young master who is wiser than his age is glaring at us.

*
Jiang Fengmian: take the courting gift I chose to court your father who was in love with your mother.
Did I say that wcz was a bisexual disaster? He liked jfm, too. But woe is him, he is but a servant with feelings for his master who is engaged with another woman. Then cssr came in like a wrecking ball, wrecked his pining head saying "I'll love you so much you'll forget every other lover of your" and eloped with him because her husband wails watching his previous lover getting married.

Chapter 44: Rivers that I've crossed

Notes:

Am I writing a novel???? Why's this getting so long?????

Crestfallen, the night long arduous.

Feebly I dream, oh my precious. 

You and me clasped to our bosoms

Wangji and Chenqing hums.

A meadow full of bunnies-

White, black, gray, and mixed

Watch us making love.

They are watching you, I tease

You take my mouth as you please.

White robes stripped off my shoulders 

Your Silk ribbon and my wrists tethered.

A meadow full of men

White, blue, yellow, and red

Watch us making love.

They are watching you, I warn

You are taken away, our bond torn.

Screaming as a beast on leash

My shackled hands fail to reach

I woke to drab truth

Mundane ache does soothe. 

Apart, oh my precious 

You and I.

 

“You're up early!” Yu Zang bemoaned yawning, rubbing his eyes, hair a mess. 

“I'm usually awake by this time.” Wei Wuxian informed, with his overstaying fake plastered smile. He was awakened before five thanks to the nightmare he saw. He couldn’t meditate with the incessant repetition of Lan Zhan being torn away from him. He took an early walk outside, following the paths Jiang Fengmian showed him last night. He sat at a farway pier, letting his loose hair and white ribbon sway with the breeze. Eyes wander to the half bloomed lotuses, fish splash water to play with his legs, dangling and feet dipped in cold water. The cold was but a fraction of cold spring, but the head disciple acted as though Wei Wuxian was a creature out of the world.

Yu Zang told of his morning chores. As the head disciple he's ought to fix the training grounds, wake every disciple, send them to their designated duty, bring them for training, make sure no one was bunking, etc. “It's a hassle, you know. Those assholes slack off whenever Madam Yu is not here.” 

Wei Wuxian giggles at his groaning and cursing. “Can I help?” 

“Uhhh…. I don't think Jiang zongzhu will be happy with it.” 

“It'll be fine.” Wei Wuxian assured, “I insist.” Wei Wuxian adds for an extra measure.

There was no use brooding over a nightmare. The more Wei Wuxian remains idle, the worse his thoughts will get. He gets himself busy. Off goes his sophisticated draping sleeves. He ties his arm braces, tightening his sash belt. He wakes each and every Jiang disciples at the early hour of five. Waking up the disciples is a challenge, and Wei Wuxian always loved a challenge. He gets as loud as he can, no rules telling him to maintain quietness. He pushes through the doors of disciple rooms, if the doors were locked  he gets in through the windows. He pulls them out of their thick blankets, peels them off their bed, drags them outside to wash up their faces. If they complained about the cold, Wei Wuxian would sprinkle them with water. If they rolled themselves in the blankets, Wei Wuxian would wiggle in those blankets himself. Once they realize the person waking them up was not their old head disciple but the new guest from Gusu Lan, they yell in surprise, waking up from their slumber entirely. 

“Okay boys and girls!” Wei Wuxian cheers loudly, “Since we are all awake, I'll be watching over your training today.” 

“When did you decide that?” Yu Zang yelped but the relief in his eyes that he got his work done was evident.

The disciples in the training grounds watch Wei Wuxian warily. Just a night ago, Wei Wuxian was a cold distant person keeping to himself. To them he's turned into a completely different person overnight like some deity has granted someone's cracked wish. Wei Wuxian is loud and cheerful, cheering while running around the ground like a wild geese. Sweat beaded his forehead despite others trembling in the cold. 

Jiang Cheng stops him. He glared at his head disciples' direction before talking to Wei Wuxian. “What would people think if we made our guest work like this?”

“It's nothing really! I was bored so I thought why not.” 

Jiang Cheng gave him a blank passive aggressive glare. Like he's wondering exactly which screws are loose in Wei Wuxian's head. “Join us for breakfast.” 

He signs the disciples to go for breakfast as well. They left the training ground immediately with cheers and excitement. 

 

Breakfast was at an inner court surrounded by a lotus pond in full bloom. The Jiang family has gathered around the marble table. Servants serve meals varying from different colours and aroma. They wished their goodmornings to each other, asking if he'd slept well, and every other formalities.

“That's the highest number of disciples I saw in our morning training.” Jiang Yanli chirped serving him the famous lotus root soup. “They usually skip if mother is absent.” 

“Morning is more suitable for trainings tho.” Wei Wuxian chirps along. 

“Might be for an early bird like you.” Jiang Cheng says in his usual haughty manner. “Then you sleep before kids droop their eyes, skipping the dinner A-Jie made for you.”

“I swear I did not know!” Wei Wuxian turned to Jiang Yanli apologetically. 

“We were at fault too.” Jiang Yanli rejects his apology, “We did not know you ate dinner early.” 

“You should have told me.” Jiang Fengmian says, appearing to be dissatisfied. “I would have brought your dinner for you.” 

“It's really fine.” Wei Wuxian says finding it hard to eat with so many people's chatting to focus on. Back in cloud recesses, they'd eat in pin drop silence with other disciples, some seniors and elders. If he was eating with a certain group of friends they'd speak one at a time. If Wei Wuxian was eating with Lan Zhan, he'd be the one talking. 

“Is there not a rule prohibiting from eating meat?” Jiang Fengmian curiously asked when Wei Wuxian started eating the pork bone meat. The group of youth stare blankly at each other as Wei Wuxian's little secret was out in front of an elder. Jiang Fengmian laughed watching the children gape silently, “Oh, is this suppose to a secret?” 

They fall into a chain of laughter. Wei Wuxian admits that he breaks quite a lot of rules. He's not the embodiment of rules as people make him out to be, nobody in Cloud recesses actually is. Jiang Cheng jokes how Wei Wuxian even joined them for drinking. Although Jiang Fengmian scolded his son for smuggling alcohol in Cloud recesses he didn’t react as poorly as Wei Wuxian expected from a sect leader. The man even sang praises of emperor's smile, mentioning how much his mother loved that drink. 

After breakfast, the Jiang siblings take Wei Wuxian on a sect tour, showing him every important corner. From their private quarters to the tree root where Jiang Cheng once tripped and broke his nose. They take him to the ancestral hall, their storage and the state of upcoming harvest, their study halls and libraries- Wei Wuxian spent an hour scanning their collections- the gardens, pavilions, courtyards and ponds. The place where Jiang Cheng raises his dogs. They're forced to be bound to their area for what Wei Wuxian couldn’t stop feeling guilty about. He asked Jiang Cheng to teach him to pet one of his calmest dog, he wants to overcome his fears.

Jiang Cheng gave him an incredulous look, but complied with his request. The dog he brought was in black fur named Love. She's the calmest one, usually follows around Jiang Yanli. Love the dog is quite like a cat, demands pats from her master in a very quiet way. She doesn't bark like other dogs do. Even so, Wei Wuxian freaks out, he freaks out loudly, wanting to hide from the big dark creature. The good thing about Love is, when Wei Wuxian freaks out she freaks out as well. As if she was an empath, reading and parroting Wei Wuxian's emotions. Jiang Cheng forced him out of his hideaway, he dragged Wei Wuxian by the arms, guiding him to his dear dog child. Jiang Yanli and Wuming soothes him by saying words like “You can do it,”  “she won't hurt you,” “You'll be fine.” It was Jiang Yanli who guided his trembling hands to the dog's body. She held his hands, gliding his palm along the soft fur of the dog. “You did it, you're doing a great job.”

Wei Wuxian had his eyes closed for the whole time. With his eyes closed and Love being silent, he didn't feel like he was running his hand across a dog's skin. Just then he tried peering his eyelids open only to find Love's face a few inches away from his. It'd not be wrong to say Wei Wuxian's soul escaped his body.

He fell unconscious, again . 

 

Luckily he didn't need expert care to be brought back to life. The Jiang disciples had gathered around him to see the young master who fainted, curious to know the reason. Wei Wuxian pretends not to be embarrassed. He cheers around wanting to know the name of every disciple. Then one by one Wei Wuxian learns their names, what they like, the most embarrassing thing they did, who fell on a ditch last week, who tore their pant while showing off a cool trick, who is the best at stealing chickens, who swims the best, who's the best at flying kite, who can catch frogs, and every little fun detail of their life. 

Then the bolder disciples ask him to spar with them. They all lost to Wei Wuxian. The disciples challenge him on archery shooting. Wei Wuxian shot the most perfect scores. They challenge him on arm wrestling. He teaches them why one should never challenge a Lan disciple to arm wrestling or any other form of wrestling. They challenge him to swimming, so they swim on the cold lakes of Yunmeng. Wei Wuxian gets second at that falling behind the head disciple. “Give me a few days, and I'll be the winner with no doubts.”

Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli watch him on standby, making remarkable comments on their fellow disciples. Noon passed with accepting one after one challenge. Wei Wuxian has changed into a different robe, the same old plain white. While changing his robes he noticed that Lan Zhan had sent quite a few messages on their communication talisman. One by one the messages read, Good morning, Wei Ying. Be sure to eat adequate breakfast. Don't wander off alone. I'm helping out the people you asked to help. Be sure to have your lunch on time. 

Wei Wuxian apologies for not replying to his messages on time. He lets Lan Zhan know that yes, he's eaten, he didn't wander off alone, he's made new friends, he's won lots of challenges, and that he needed to practice his swimming more. He reminds Lan Zhan to have his lunch on time, thank him for working in his stead. He carefully doesn't send how much he misses him, how badly he wished Lan Zhan was there to see him win, how things aren't as fun without him by his side. 

It's the most he's talked to Lan Zhan in months, be it through communication talisman. His heart longed to have a face to face deep-long conversation with Lan Zhan. He wanted to hear Lan Zhan's soothing voice, his resonating hums and the melody of his qin. 

 

He hid the dull pain in his heart under big smiles and loud cheers. He ate his lunch like he wasn't worrying whether Lan Zhan had his lunch on time, what he'd ate, was the work too much for him, was he mad that Wei Wuxian dumped his work on him while he played around in another province. 

If anyone asked what he was thinking he'd joke about the beauty of Yunmeng and loudness of Lotus pier. He asks Jiang Yanli to show him around the flea market. The Jiang siblings take him on a tour outside Lotus pier, shopping and thrifting whatever they want. Wei Wuxian's mind drifted back to Lan Zhan. Every vendor he visited, every stall he saw, each trinket he noticed, they all drove back to Lan Zhan. 

“Awh ca'mon can't you pass an hour without talking about your boyfriend!” Jiang Cheng groaned at one point. 

“Lan Zhan is not my boyfriend.” Wei Wuxian promptly replied. 

“For fucks sake, you've been rambling about Lan Wangji continuously. Lan Zhan did this, Lan Zhan did that, Lan Zhan will like it, I'll buy one for Lan Zhan, why not just bring that guy here?!” Jiang Cheng mocked, stomping his feet on the ground. Jiang Yanli giggled at her brother's whingeing. Wei Wuxian pretended not to hear a thing. It was not his intention to bring up Lan Zhan every living moment, but he can't help it either. If he doesn't talk about Lan Zhan to those whom he trusts, who else will he go to? 

Wei Wuxian distracted Jiang Cheng when his gaze fell on the disciples buying kites. He asked what they were doing and wondered if he could join. The Jiang disciples were more than happy to have Wei Wuxian play with them. They bought him a colorful kite shaped like a swallow with a long delicate tail. “Kite shooting” they called their game where they fly their kites as high as possible. Once the kites reached the skies, they shot it with their arrows.  If one can shoot the kite at the highest, he wins. Wei Wuxian hasn't played such a game. In Gusu it's more common to cut the strings of kites and the one standing alone at the end of the game wins. He gets excited to try something different, something new.

Undoubtedly, his mind wanders back to Lan Zhan. In Cloud recesses, when they fly kites, Lan Zhan usually manages the spool for him. Wei Wuxian used to run the kites when the air was favorable. Once the kite was fixed in the air, Lan Zhan transferred the string on his hands, taking the coil of the spool. He used to inform Wei Wuxian of how many kites are left, which kite he should avoid, which kite to cut, when to pull. People used to fancy how they worked like wind and sail, impelling each other to greatness. They've been the best team ever since a young age. It's almost hilarious how Wei Wuxian plans to leave his greatest confidant. 

Wei Wuxian shoots down the most kites, the ones at highest. The Jiang disciples groaned and complained how he shot not only his but others as well, which apparently is against the rules. He's in time out, being told to watch them play. It's not fun at all, but he enjoyed the afternoon breeze and the orange hued clouds. Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng sat beside him, having no mood to play with the disciples. They ildy watch the kites soaring up above, their colorful tails fluttering in the air. The field is mostly empty leaving some cows grazing at dry grass, there's an odd tranquility in the mirthful bickering and laughter of children. Their clarity bells jingle with each twist of their waist.

“Why don't the servants wear the bells?” Wei Wuxian asked. He's noticed the servants of Lotus pier. They didn't have the bell tied to their waist belt, even the ones at a higher rank. He thought everyone at Lotus pier was bound to wear one.

“They are servants, why should they wear our clarity bell?” Jiang Cheng asked in response. 

Jiang Yanli says, “Only disciples and clan members are to wear the clarity bell, as a sign to show their affiliation with the Jiang clan.” 

Wei Wuxian is sure he's missing something. “So, if you are given a clarity bell you get invited in the sect?”

Jiang Cheng turned bodily to him, so did Jiang Yanli. There was a glint in their eyes, amusement even. Jiang Cheng asked, “Did someone from our sect gave you a clarity bell?”

“Uhhhh…. I'm not going to answer it.” Wei Wuxian doesn't mention that his father was the one to give him one- one that's supposed to belong to Wei Wuxian's father. 

“A-Xian!” Jiang Yanli exclaimed in a hushed tone so that no one could hear her. “In Yunmeng Jiang there is a tradition to give your clarity bell to the one you like.”

“Oh…” Wei Wuxian says as his mind stops working.

“It's basically courting.” Jiang Cheng adds. He bumps their shoulder playfully joking, “You're being courted and you have no idea.”

“Aiyaaa, Lan er gongzi will be furious.” Jiang Yanli teased, covering her mouth with her hands like she's so embarrassed. “A-Cheng who could be this foolish one, might they face Lan er gongzi-” 

“A-jie, I'm not saving anyone's ass from his boyfriend's wrath.” 

“Lan Zhan and I are not what you think we are!” Wei Wuxian deduced in between the siblings playful banteer. Wei Wuxian rubbed the sides of his forehead, “You mean, if someone gives me a clarity bell, it means they are confessing their love to me?” 

“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng snorted. 

“Wait wait wait-” Wei Wuxian protested before Jiang Cheng made any other comment. He is stupefied by the revelation. He's connected one dot with another,  and he's not thrilled over the outcome. Jiang Cheng’s father gave his father a clarity bell- or wanted to give his father a clarity bell- because… Jiang Cheng’s father loved his father, that'd mean… Wei Wuxian doesn't want to think about what that would mean. He sits there, aghast, with hands glued to his face. His mind whirling in all directions. “Let's just go back.” 

The road back to Lotus pier was quick and quiet. Lotus pier was uncomfortably quieter. Disciples were looking troubled, each standing on their designated duty. 

“Madam Yu's back?” They murmured among themselves. The Jiang siblings looked no better knowing their mother was back. Wei Wuxian thought she wouldn't be back before winter. But then again, Yu Ziyuan has her own mind. She comes to their view, standing as straight as a pole, as soon as they walk in the inner courtyard. 

“My greetings to Madam Yu.” Wei Wuxian calmly bowed his head, his heart was in a different state. 

“Mother, you're back early!” Jiang Yanli bemused, smiling. 

“How can I not when we have a guest?” Yu Ziyuan stated nonchalantly. Wei Wuxian could feel the sharp gaze she had upon him. “I'd like to speak to our humble guest. ” She says, telling Wei Wuxian to meet her at the dining court. 

The Jiang siblings ushered him to the marble table where they had breakfast. Jiang Fengmian waited in one of the seats, his smile wavering. The pleasant environment the court had in the morning was nowhere to be found. Autumnal chill was sending shivers to his spine, hands sweating every time he wiped them on his robes.

“I told him to meet me.” Yu Ziyuan raises her brow to her children, “Why are you two here?” 

The two siblings glanced at each other with worry. Their heads downcast, they refused to leave. 

“Fine, stay.” Yu Ziyuan scoffed sitting on the chair with a flutter of her long purple robes. Her dangling jewelries jingle along with her clarity bell. 

The five of them sit silently with gaze fixed on the tea cups, servants pouring them tea and serving cakes. No one spoke a word until the servants left. 

“I know the disciples slack off whenever I'm out.” The house mistress stated, sipping on her tea. She glared at her children “I did not expect you two to join them.” Her children flinched at her glare like they're sure she's going to slap them any given time. Yu Ziyuan did not care that her children were scared of her, she's rather proud of herself. “As the heirs you are expected to spend your time with someone of your status, not someone lower than your class. It does not matter if they are a well known warded disciple found on the streets.” Her words stab sharp as needle yet Wei Wuxian remains still. 

“San Niang,”  Jiang Fengmian  reprimanded his wife. 

“Am I wrong?” Yu Ziyuan asked. She didn't pay heed to her husband requesting her to change the topic. She didn't pay heed to her daughter's requests to be kinder. “I am asking you, son of Wei Changze.” 

She might as well have called Wei Wuxian a son of  bitch, it'd have sounded the same. “No,” Wei Wuxian responded, head low.

“No what?” 

“You're not wrong.” Wei Wuxian enunciated. Wuming kept telling him that Yu Ziyuan was being wrong, that Wei Wuxian didn't had to be so respectful to her. Wei Wuxian tuned out Wuming’s word like background noise.

Yu Ziyuan broke a piece of cake, the sound of its cracking matched his heart beat, “Not wrong about what?”

Wei Wuxian's fist clenched around his robes, heartbeats dropping as he uttered, “Your children should not spend their time with a warded disciple found on the streets.” 

“You are quite smart,” Yu Ziyuan cleaned her hands, sipping her tea once again. “If you are as smart as people make you to be, why did you think it was a good idea to visit the home of the lady whose engagement you broke?” 

These words were never directly spoken to him. Yes, he blamed himself for Jiang Yanli's broken engagement. However, no one had ever accused him for it. Hearing the words spill from another person's mouth makes his heart burn with loathing. If his self blaming was false, Yu Ziyuan’s blaming could not be.

“San Niang!” Jiang Fengmian sputtered, smacking the marble table with his fist, “It was my decision to break her engagement. Why are you blaming Wei Wuxian for what Jin Zixuan did?” 

“Who told you to break her engagement! Who's going to marry her now?” 

“We've talked about this!” 

“You've talked shit! Was it not enough that his parents ruined my marriage and now he's running my daughters' marriage as well.” 

“Don't bring up his parents in front of him!” 

“Fuck his dead parents! 

“Yu Ziyuan!

“Jiang Fengmian! Why do you care so much about his parents? You wanted to ward him! Don't make me question his parentage! Do you want him in our family? ”

“Yes I want him in my family!”

Wei Wuxian's head was bowed low over the course of the couples fight. His body was shaking with dread. Their words passed above his ears, he heard them but could not comprehend. Even so, when Jiang Fengmian shouted that he wanted Wei Wuxian in his family, Wei Wuxian's eyes shot up to him. The dining court that was filled with shouting and yelling was dead silent hearing the sect leader say those words. 

“I want Wei Wuxian to be a part of my family.” Jiang Fengmian repeated once again, clear and certain. Wei Wuxian's ears started ringing as if someone had torn his ear drums. 

Yu Ziyuan scoffed out an ugly laughter, “You're really accepting that you-” 

“No!” Jiang Fengmian stopped his wife, “I'm saying I want Wei Wuxian to be married into our clan” 

If Wei Wuxian felt like his ear drums were torn, they were surely bleeding by then. Or he might be hearing random bullshit, or maybe he was hallucinating everything. There was no way what he heard could be real. 

“A-die!?” Jiang Yanli stood up from her seat, startling Wei Wuxian out of his trance. 

“Do you not like each other?” Jiang Fengmian asked his daughter with a forced smile, “I heard you two used to be close in Cloud recesses. Wei Wuxian helped you with your cultivation. You gave him gifts. If you two say yes, I'll talk to Lan Qiren about you two.”

“You can't do that!” Jiang Cheng finally spoke, his voice strained by her mothers shock. 

“You can't, Fengmian!” Yu Ziyuan stood up as well. “I'll not allow a son of a servant to be my daughters betrothed.”

Jiang Fengmian stood up to meet his wife's eyes, “It's better to marry someone she likes than to marry someone who torments her.”

The couple started arguing again. Wei Wuxian failed to hear what nonsense  they were spewing. His mind relapses to one line back and forth. Jiang Fengmian wanted Wei Wuxian to be married with Jiang Yanli. Jiang Fengmian thought Wei Wuxian liked Jiang Yanli when Wei Wuxian never saw Jiang Yanli as anything more than a caring sister. The thought of marrying her makes his gut churn. Bile lumps on the back of his throat. He regretted coming to Yunmeng. He regretted leaving Cloud recesses. He regretted hiding away from Lan Zhan.

“I don't like her!” standing up Wei Wuxian declared as loudly as his voice could go. “I don't like her like that.” 

“You dishonor my daughter and dare to say you don't like her.” Yu Ziyuan barks and throws her tea cup at him. 

Years of reflex saves Wei Wuxian from being hit. He blocks the tea cup with Suibian, sending it far away. “I'd be dishonoring my morals if I keep silent now.”

Jiang Fengmian tried to approach him. “Wei Wuxian, You don't have to accept my proposal right now. If you give it a thought, you might need some time.”

At the end, the overly affectionate man really did have an ulterior motive. Why else would anyone be so kind to him? Wei Wuxian stepped backwards, “I don't need time to know what my heart desires.” Wei Wuxian saluted with Suibian in his hand, “I have someone that I like. If I keep silent I'll be betraying my lover.” 

“You lowly son of a servant! You think you're so good that you've better options! You think you're so great just because you're a little too smart.” She took fast strides towards Wei Wuxian. One hand was reaching to grab him by his collar. Before she could, Wei Wuxian knocked her hands away, heart thumping in his chest as he jumped further from the family. Jiang Cheng shouted at him for hitting his mother. Wei Wuxian doesn't blame him. It was exceptionally rude of him to hit an older woman from high class. But the woman was no ordinary woman. She's the infamous violent spider, known for her wrath. Wei Wuxian got to see her wrath with his own two eyes. Zidian sparkled on her fingers, forming a whip made of thunder itself.

Wuming murmured to him, to run away from Yunmeng, away from these people. Wei Wuxian wanted to. He can't always do the things he wanted.Wei Wuxian felt trapped in a cage, he felt like a prey within the claws of a predator. If he fights back, he might as well get beheaded. 

Wei Wuxian held Suibian, unsheathed but close. A thundering whip came towards him. Wei Wuxian shut his eyes. Jiang Fengmian was yelling to stop his wife, Jiang Cheng was yelling for his mother. Wei Wuxian anticipated the zap of zidian. But the hit never came. 

“A-Li!” Yu Ziyuan roared. 

Wei Wuxian shot his eyes open and found Jiang Yanli standing in between him and her mother. For a moment Wei Wuxian feared she'd taken the hit like she did back in cloud recesses. When he looked more clearly he saw her white color whip coiled on  the ground. By Jiang Cheng’s shocked expression Wei Wuxian could guess what she's done. She blocked Zidian with her Sheé. 

“How many times will you take my decisions from me?” Jiang Yanli uttered, her voice trembling with fear. Yet she yelled, “Can't I get to choose one thing for myself. Am I not allowed to live my own life?”

“What nonsense are you talking about!” Her mother roared again.

Jiang Yanli didn't waver, “Was it not enough that you ruined my life. And now you want to ruin his as well.”

Hearing her daughter talk back Yu Ziyuan could not stand in one place. She walked to hear daughter, slapping her like one would slap a lowly servant. “Don't you have any shame! Not only did you get rejected by Jin Zixuan, you also got rejected by this orphan brat!”

Jiang Cheng had run to hold his sister, as if he'll take Yu Ziyuan’s hit for her. Wei Wuxian's feet worked on his own. He approached to save her without a second. When he took a few steps towards her, she shouted, “Don't!” 

Wei Wuxian stopped on his feet. 

Jiang Yanli turned to him, the place where her mother slapped was bright red like someone smudged rouge on her face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks but she glared like she was not scared at all. She yelled again, “Run away. What are you doing here?” 

“Don't you dare run away!” 

“Go away, A-Xian.” 

Wei Wuxian's body worked on his own again. His feet staggered backwards, increasing in speed at every step. Suibian unsheathed, Wei Wuxian fled away from that tormenting pier.

 

He hated himself. He was a coward. He ran away from his problems. He runs away at every inconvenience, he hides from conflict. He doesn’t live up to his morals. He leaves the people he cares abouts in danger and misery. He's an awful person. 

 

“Wei Ying, where are you going?” asked Wuming. 

Wei Wuxian didn't know where he was going, or where he was. He didn’t have a designated location when he ran away. He's wherever Suibian brought him. “You should land, it's not good to fly in the mental state you're in.” 

Wei Wuxian would also like to stop exerting his body to its limit. He can't suffer both mentally and physically. The place he landed looked like an off grid town. Night wasn't deep yet the roads were quiet, stalls were closed, no vendors, only a few shops and inns open with very few customers. The sign of the inn restaurant read Yilling in big characters.

“Yilling…” Wei Wuxian pondered, running his hand on the hilt of Suibian. It's not exactly Suibian's fault that they are in Yilling of all places. And the place Wei Wuxian landed- he scanned the old buildings- resembled a distant memory. He walked towards a path he supposes he knows. There he finds the alley he was looking for. 

“Its-” Wuming says and stops. 

It's the place Wei Wuxian used stay in when he was a lost child. The small alleyway used to be his shelter. It was the place where he found Wuming, vibrant blue on dazzling white snow. It was the place where he met and befriended Lan Zhan. He crouched before the small lane, getting to the size he used to be at five years old. Back then the alley used to be big and wide, the walls were huge. Everyone and everything was a giant to him. He was a tiny human lost in a big scary world. Now, at sixteen years old, how things have changed. The small alley looks too small, how did he even fit there? The walls weren't as huge as before, he could easily jump over them. The world wasn't full of giants. It's as if, everyone and everything shrinked to meet Wei Wuxian eye to eye. Nevertheless, the scary world remained scary.  He's now a lost youth, looking for his way through life. Everything remained the same as he left, even his old self, his old childish heart.

Wei Wuxian's melancholic introspection was disturbed by a moving creature in the small dark alley. Wei Wuxian squinted to have a better look. At first he thought it was a heap of trash infested by rats and roaches. As soon as his eyes adjusted to the dark alley, the dark object moved elaborately, it's head coming forward to inspect Wei Wuxian. Then it groaned. 

Wei Wuxian shrieked, falling back on his buttocks. He crawled backwards with the realization that he's been ruminating in front of a sleeping dog. “My fucking god,” Wei Wuxian bemoaned, “at least let me contemplate life peacefully.”

The dog didn't care. Of course it'd not care. Its nocturnal eyes shone in darkness, like it does with cats. He noticed, the dog only had one eye. It caught his attention. He crawled forward, forgetting his fear, and took a longer look at the dog. It was an old dog, aged with nothing but skin and bones. It had one eye cut and obscenely healed, its left ear was chipped off at tip. “Oh hey I know you!” 

Wei Wuxian's sudden exclamation made Wuming huff. “You know him?” 

“Yeah! We used to fight the big dogs for food. He was a small puppy back then.” Wei Wuxian's excitement died in his throat, “And he's so old now.” 

Wei Wuxian won't say his fear of dogs was entirely gone.  He's still very much afraid of dogs. But that old one was different. That old one was like an acquaintances, a fellow lost child fighting the giants for food. They fought on their own to survive in this big scary world. This old one knew him from a time no one did, not even Wuming. He waved at the old dog, “Hey old fella, remember me?” 

The dog gave a low growl. Like it is telling Wei Wuxian off for disturbing his sleep. Its boney chest and concave belly was heaving visibly, harder and faster than it should be normal. 

“It doesn't have much time left.” says Wuming.

Wei Wuxian knows. It had been alive for more than ten years all alone. That's a big deal for stray street dogs. He's fought for food for ten years. Maybe he's spent weeks on an empty stomach. He most probably did not have anyone to take care of his wounds.

Wei Wuxian buys a few meat buns full of meat from the nearby inn to give them to the old dog. He was scared, might it bite his hands off. But the dog watched Wei Wuxian slowly offer him the buns from a good distance. Once Wei Wuxian had retreated his hand back, it sniffed on the buns, ate them with quiet delight, making small whimpering noise. For the first time the sounds coming from a dog made Wei Wuxian happy. He's happy that he could offer a little kindness to a creature who had done nothing wrong and everything to survive.

Warm tears spill out burning his eyes. Wei Wuxian was no different than the stray puppies on the roads. Lost in the crowd, searching for his parents. Wei Wuxian was just as dirty as the dog was. Wei Wuxian didn't do anything that to deserve better from the dogs, did he? How come he be so lucky to be found by a person he could call his best friend, his soulmate, his Zijhi. If it wasn't for Lan Zhan, Lan Qiren would have never bothered asking his name. If it wasn't for Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian would have forever been a street child, fighting and doing everything to survive. He'd have turned out skin and bones like the old dog before him.

A warm gentle hand pressed on his shoulder. Perplexed by the human touch Wei Wuxian acted  out on his own, assuming to be in danger. 

“It's me, Xian gege.” said the gentle voice. He's holding a small lantern illuminating his face, boring a soft reassuring smile. 

“Wen Ning,” Wei Wuxian gasped. He runs for a hug without any hesitation. The boy returned his hugs, warm and loving. 

“What are you doing here?” They both ask each other at the same time, resulting in silly giggles. Wen Ning goes first, wiping Wei Wuxian's tear stained cheeks with his sleeves. The red string bracelet Wei Wuxian gave was still tied to his wrist. He says he's on patrol duty over Yilling. His sister was posted to Yilling headquarters as an assistant. The overprotective brother volunteered to join , if harm come to his sister's way.

When Wen Ning asked his reason behind crying and the sudden journey in Yilling, Wei Wuxian spilled his heart open. Talking to Wen Ning was just as pleasant as talking to Lan Zhan. They are both great listeners with  gentle, nonjudgmental presence. Wei Wuxian spells out everything weighing his heart. From the day of Qixi, his doomed plan of confessing his love, his fears etched to the person he loves, his futile plans on separating from his love and how it's affecting him. The recent journey to Yunmeng, Jiang Fengmian’s proposal and Yu Ziyuan’s putrid words. How poorly he acted, how cowardly he left. 

“You've been through a lot,” the younger boy says, giving him a side hug. “I wouldn't blame you for how you acted. I'm proud that you did.” 

“But I was so rude- I'm so sensitive too, words shouldn't make me act like that.” 

Wen Ning breathed out as if to show his anger. Wei Wuxian can't say he looked anywhere near angry, not even close to Wen Qing’s frown. But he indulged Wen Ning. Wen Ning turned his face to look at Wei Wuxian, saying, “You are not sensitive. And words hurt. Words hurt more than stones and sticks. What Madam Yu said was far more hurtful than a plunged sword in the guts. Your action was a thousand times better than an average person.” 

“But-” Wei Wuxian tried to speak but Wen Ning huffed with anger again. 

“No buts,” he said holding his shoulders, “No one has the right to insult you for losing your parents. How can a woman from a noble family call you names for what your father did to survive.” 

“But they-” Wei Wuxian tried to speak again and stopped when Wen Ning’s hold on his shoulder grew harder. “OK fine. They were wrong.” 

Wuming and Wen Ning both applauded him for accepting that what happened to him was not his fault, he is not to blame for the outcome. For accepting that he carries the memories of his parents but not their past. For admitting that he is a being of his own.

“You are what you achieved,” Wen Ning says, “No one can stop you from achieving what you are capable of.”

They watch the half moon, seren and calm. Wei Wuxian's heart felt at peace after a long war. He didn’t feel alone and isolated with Wen Ning, the way he did with a handful of Jiang disciples. “You know,” he whispered, “Sometimes you act like you're way older than your age. Sometimes I fell like you know me from our previous lives, and I know you for a life time ago.” He says looking softly at Wen Ning, “I feel like you and I are soulmates of sort.”

“Soulmates?” Wen Ning repeated amused with tears forming in his eyes.

“Mn, a completely platonic soulmate.” 

The additional clause made Wen Ning giggle out. He playfully pushed Wei Wuxian's chest, “Now go. Your romantic soulmate is waiting for you.” 

Wei Wuxian averted his eyes. He's still unsure what to do. 

“Xian-gege,” Wen Ning held his hands, “You live your life with no regrets.” He says gazing far past to his soul, “You'd not want Lan er gongzi  be your greatest regret, do you?” 

“I-” Wei Wuxian fails to form words. He really doesn't want Lan Zhan to be his regret.

“Go, I'm sure you can fight your way through happiness.” 

And that's all Wei Wuxian needed. Giving Wen Ning one last tight hug, Wei Wuxian departed for Gusu. He's mad at himself for taking so long to accept what's been fluttering it's wings in the cage of his ribs. He wants Lan Zhan and Lan Zhan only. There would be no greater regret in this mundane life if he let's himself slip away from Lan Zhan's grasp. Damn be reputation, damn his fears. If people finds them shameless, then shameless they are. He's not a child lost in a world of giants. In a world full of giants he's now a fearsome beast. Dare people sully his beloved, may as well know what torment is. Wei Wuxian is kind but he's not made of kindnesses. There is a monster in his heart, heavens will tremble shall it unleash.

Notes:

So you know how in doughua mdzs Lan Wangji finds Wei Wuxian's clarity bell. Then when he tries to return it he sees that he already got a new one, then keeps it to himself, yeah? I'd love to think of it as an courting gift. (A stolen courting gift) :3

 

Do ever think of Wen Ning’s platonic devotion for Wei Wuxian and cry??? Like.... he's so good to Wei Wuxian, and for what??? His unconditional care for Wei Wuxian is just---- ToT

Chapter 45: Redamancy

Notes:

SEEEGGGGSSSS৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)

Far past nine. 

His lover awake behind the wooden walls. Playing a soul-stirring melody in his seven string qin. A cloying melody he has never heard before. 

Wei Wuxian stands before Jingshi, heart jumping on his throat. His mind is as blank as a polished jade. Not a single idea what he's going to say to Lan Zhan now that he's here. 

“I'll be resting in your room.” Wuming says flying away. Like he was the one carrying Wei Wuxian from Yilling to Gusu at full speed. “Good luck,” he says, tickling Wei Wuxian's lower jaw before leaving. 

He's giving Wei Wuxian the much needed privacy where Wei Wuxian isn't even sure what's going to happen once he steps in the house. But it has to be done. “Either tonight or  never” Wei Wuxian repeated in his mind as he sneaked in the Jingshi through the bedroom window. 

Lan Zhan was seated across the low table, guqin resting on its wooden surface, a single candle lit in the room. As soon as Wei Wuxian got in, Lan Zhan's head turned to fight the intruder. Their eyes met and they both gasped. 

“Lan Zhan you're crying.” Wei Wuxian squawked. He ran to hold his lover, to wipe those pearl like tears. It's not everyday that Lan Zhan lets his emotions outburst. “What happened?” Wei Wuxian asked as if he didn't know the reason behind those tears. 

Lan Zhan didn't appreciate his appearance. He wiped his tears before Wei Wuxian could reach him.  “Nothing.” he said, turning his body away from Wei Wuxian's gaze. “I wish to be alone for now.” 

“No!” Wei Wuxian rejected Lan Zhan's request. He tried to peer Lan Zhan's face at him,“Tell me, is it because of me?” 

“I said it's nothing.” Lan Zhan repeated, swatting Wei Wuxian's hands away. His forehead wrinkled between the brows. Angrily he took hold of Wei Wuxian’s shoulders to push him towards the doors. “I want to be left alone.” 

Wei Wuxian couldn’t stop Lan Zhan from pushing him. All his strength was used in flying. He still tried to stop, to look back and say, “I've something to tell you. I have to let you know!”

Lan Zhan was one heck of a fellow. Once he's decided he doesn't want to hear out Wei Wuxian, he won't hear out Wei Wuxian even if he was yelling in his ears. He determinedly pushed Wei Wuxian to the gates, the corners of his eyes red for how much he cried. When he was about to open the doors, Wei Wuxian blocked the gates, stucking himself before the frame of the threshold. 

If Lan Zhan was stubborn, Wei Wuxian was rebellious. “I won't go! I know you're crying because of me! I made you cry, did I not?” 

“Not you.” Even at the verge of tears Lan Zhan did not blame him, he never did. And Wei Wuxian knows, it's not because he blindly views Wei Wuxian as a righteous one who can never do anything wrong in his life. Lan Zhan will find the roots of the conflict, making it a good reason for the poor outcome. 

“Then it's something related to me.” Wei Wuxian says holding Lan Zhan's hand. He's relieved that Lan Zhan didn't smack his hands away again. He stopped trying to push Wei Wuxian out of Jingshi, but he wasn't willing to let Wei Wuxian walk in either. 

“Why are you here? Lan Zhan asked, his passive voice giving out nothing. 

“I must tell you something really important.” 

“No.” Lan Zhan stopped him. “You mustn't. You should be in Yunmeng right now.” 

“A lot happened-”

“I know Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan almost shouted. His voice cracked slightly in tone when he said with averted eyes, “News spread like fire.” 

“Oh.” Wei Wuxian let out. Lan Zhan did not respond, nor did he look at Wei Wuxian directly. His hands clenched and unclenched, hair loose over his stiff awkward shoulders. Wei Wuxian stared at the boy with deep regret. He could not imagine the pain he'd gone through knowing that the boy he loved was close to being bothered by a woman rumored to have caught his eyes. He doesn’t trust the rumors either. God knows what exaggerated misinformation came to Lan Zhan as the form of news. 

“That's the thing.” Wei Wuxian muttered. “I ran away because of it.” 

“Why did you come here!?” promptly did Lan Zhan question, making Wei Wuxian startled. “You sound happy there. You enjoyed spending time in Yunmeng. Lotus pier is more suitable for you than Cloud recesses. You'll be happy marrying into Yunmeng Jiang.” 

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian gasped out through his aching heart, “How can you think that! Don't you know how I feel about you?” 

Lan Zhan had yet to meet his eyes. His gaze was fixed on the ground, “I thought I did. I believed you did too….know what I feel for you.” 

“I do!” Wei Wuxian shook Lan Zhan's hands, urging to look at him. 

“I could be wrong.” Lan Zhan's eyes darted from left to right as if looking for something on the ground. His eyes gleamed with held back tears. “You avoid me. I'm not stupid Wei Ying. I noticed how you created a distance between us whenever I tried to take a step forward.” 

Wei Wuxian too started fixing his eyes on the ground. He's too ashamed of what he made Lan Zhan go through. He can't bear how helpless Lan Zhan sounded. He murmured under his breath “I was too afraid to sully your name.” 

“Is fear greater than what you feel for me?” 

Wei Wuxian grimaced at his question. He really did let fear take over his love for Lan Zhan. He feared so much that he didn't think about Lan Zhan's heartache at all. That's the reason why he was standing there, is it not? He wanted to change things, he wanted Lan Zhan to know how he felt, how deep his feelings run. “No.” exhaling loudly,  Wei Wuxian uttered.

Lan Zhan's face was turned away from his direction in a way that only the right side was facing Wei Wuxian, eyes lost somewhere else. He steeled his cowardly heart, reaching for Lan Zhan's tear stained cheek to plant a kiss. Lan Zhan was slightly taller in height, Wei Wuxian had to go to the top of his toes to reach the high rise cheek. The kiss itself was chaste and quick, nothing more than a peck. Yet the low sound of kissing echoed loudly in his ears, his lips tingled after touching the warm smooth skin. He managed to speak out, “I got over my fears.”  

Lan Zhan on the other hand was finally- finally looking at him, although shocked as if Wei Wuxian had slapped him. His once lost eyes widened so much that Wei Wuxian feared when they might pop out of his socket. Lan Zhan's stillness and the silence of Jingshi along with the drumming of his heart made him more nervous. He should have asked before kissing, it's the right thing to do. He's already made a mistake. Doubts kept growing with silence. What if he and Lan Zhan were never on the same page? What if what Wei Wuxian felt for Lan Zhan wasn't what Lan Zhan felt for him. 

Wei Wuxian didn't want his fear to take over again. He took Lan Zhan's hand, placed it above his roaring heart hoping it'll be convincing. Wei Wuxian stammered as he spoke,“I hope this is how you feel about me.” 

Lan Zhan kneaded Wei Wuxian's chest, pressing to feel the pumping of his heart. Then, slowly he took hold of Wei Wuxian’s hand, guiding it atop his chest similarly how Wei Wuxian made Lan Zhan feel his heart beat. Lan Zhan's heart was thudding far louder and faster beneath his hand. So much that it was concerning. Wei Wuxian failed to notice when Lan Zhan had closed the small distance between them. So when Lan Zhan's lips kissed his lips, he was absolutely gobsmacked. The kiss was over way too soon for Wei Wuxian to think of kissing back or to think about anything in general. “Is this how you feel?” Lan Zhan whispered, retreating back to where he was. His shoulders relaxed and eyes searching for a light, for an answer. 

Wei Wuxian was gaping for a long moment. His heart beat increased to synchronize with Lan Zhan's fast ones. He felt as if his heart was enlarging in each pump of blood, making his lungs compressed in the rib cage. Either the room lacked air or his lungs couldn't take in more air or the air in Jingshi had magically heated in the chilly nights of Gusu’s autumn. It was hot, he couldn’t breath, he was panting for air still he couldn’t breath. He should focus on breathing. But his mind was busy focusing on Lan Zhan’s lips to Lan Zhan's dilated eyes, to Lan Zhan's heaving chest and back to Lan Zhan's lips. Their frenetic eyes, meeting, asking, answering. Their lips parted.

Wei Wuxian couldn’t care anymore. He couldn’t just wait for a verbal answer, be a gentleman like the heroes of those novels.  The ribbon around his forehead was too tight for him. He didn’t want any reminder of three thousand rules. One hand pulled the ribbon out of his head. At the same time-for the first time in Wei Wuxian's life- Lan Zhan took off his forehead ribbon. As soon as they were free of their restraints, they hurled one another over their lips. All Wei Wuxian knew that Lan Zhan was kissing him and he was kissing Lan Zhan back. He wasn't even sure if that's how kisses worked, or if he was kissing Lan Zhan correctly. All he cared that they've crossed that obscure line of platonic friendship, decorum, civility, consonance, whatever one calls it. Who cared about those things. Lan Zhan was holding him close. Lan Zhan was kissing him.

He was kissing Wei Wuxian loudly and passionately. His lips were soft and moist and warm and smooth. It was nothing like those novels deciphered. They say the first kiss is sweet like honey but Wei Wuxian was sure his whole body was on fire. His mouth was burning in a way even the spiciest chili oils couldn’t. Lan Zhan's tongue conquered his mouth, slithering in like the king of serpents, filling his mouth with his aphrodisiac venom. Wei Wuxian's jaw ached from keeping his mouth open for that long but he couldn’t stop himself either. He had started drooling, saliva was trickling down from the corner of his open mouth. His knees were about to give up. Lan Zhan had him held in one place, their chest clashing in each inhaling of breath. Wei Wuxian's back was leaning on the Jingshi door, stopping him from falling. The luscious sound of kissing, wet mouth sucking wet lips, tongue smacking tongue, the embarrassing whimpering sounds that left from his own throat.His lower body wasn't going to last long for how inviting it felt. 

“Wait,” Wei Wuxian croaked in between Lan Zhan's wild kisses. He had to push Lan Zhan's face away to stop them, to breathe like an actual human. “I said wait for bit-” 

Wei Wuxian's hands were shaking, his heart was beating in his ears, and the air was no less hot. His mouth was a mess of spit and drool, so was Lan Zhan's. Lan Zhan was practically gleaming with sweat and saliva. While Wei Wuxian had the mind to wipe his sticky face, Lan Zhan cared not. As if he was going to carry those spit on his face like a trophy. He acted like it was nothing, like he didn't know why Wei Wuxian was stopping him. 

“Let- let me calm down for a bit.” Wei Wuxian murmured, resting his shaking hands on Lan Zhan’s chest still thudding concerningly loud. He shimmies away his waist hoping it'll be unnoticed. Then again it is Lan Zhan, the boy who notes his every breath. The moment Wei Wuxian created a distance between their groins, Lan Zhan moved forward to close it. “Wait wait wait wait!” Wei Wuxian blocked Lan Zhan from getting any close, stopping before their groins touched. Of course Lan Zhan was not pleased with it. He didn’t even understand why Wei Wuxian was requesting him to back off a little. “Why are you getting mad,” Wei Wuxian complained, looking away from Lan Zhan's questioning glares. “Can't you see what's wrong.” 

Lan Zhan glares even more, he places his hand over the doors on either side of Wei Wuxian’s face so that Wei Wuxian would be caged. “Why is it wrong?” Lan Zhan inquires pushing one of his legs in between Wei Wuxian's thighs. Lan Zhan's firm thigh rubs against Wei Wuxian's arousal. 

“You knew!” Wei Wuxian couldn’t stop himself from squeaking . His face was on fire, too embarrassed to admit that the press of hard muscles felt good. 

“You and I are the same.” Saying so, Lan Zhan slides his groin against Wei Wuxian's body, grinding his hard erection like a cat in heat. Lan Zhan hissed at first as if the friction hurted, Wei Wuxian was no good either. He's whimpering like a hurt child except that he wasn't hurt, and he most definitely was not a child, more importantly it felt really good. So good that he needed more. Lan Zhan pulled him closer by his waist- a waist that he knows is sensitive to touch.Wei Wuxian's trembling hands clutched to Lan Zhan's chest, pulling his robes wayward. If a span of chest came forth asking kisses from Wei Wuxian, it was entirely Lan Zhan's fault for wearing loose clothes. Wei Wuxian lapped his wet tongue over the exposed sternum, gliding his mouth upwards to the dip between his collar bones, to the apex of his larynx. He always wanted to lick Lan Zhan's jutting throat each time he swallowed, each time it bobbed up and down. When he sucked in that place he noticed how Lan Zhan's breath wavered, how his hot erection got bigger. Wei Wuxian felt a wave of pride. Lan Zhan acts quickly with his hands, taking Wei Wuxian's sash belt out his waist, working to untie his layers and layers of robes. 

“We can't be doing everything here.” Wei Wuxian whispered, hiding himself on Lan Zhan’s shoulder. 

Lan Zhan retreated his hands back, “You don't want to?”

“No! I mean yes! I mean- no that's not what I mean, I want to- just- just- not here! You know…. Standing at the doors.” Wei Wuxian sounded like he had a hot steaming potato in his mouth. Such embarrassment. 

“Oh-” Lan Zhan let out. He didn’t even notice they were rutting against each other just before the gates. Realizing what's wrong he placed his hands beneath the junction of Wei Wuxian's rear and thighs, picked him up like he didn't weigh just as much as him. Wei Wuxian was surprised, and Wei Wuxian was aroused. He locked his legs around Lan Zhan's waist, his hands around his neck like it's natural,like they've done it a hundred times before. In a quick swing Lan Zhan dashed to his bed, throwing Wei Wuxian on it with a thump. Wei Wuxian's head hit the mattress but he couldn’t complain because when he opened his eyes Lan Zhan was above him. Just like it is described in the explicit novels, just like it came to his dreams, Lan Zhan was above him, hands inclined on either side of Wei Wuxian, his face just an arm's length away. His loose hair curtaining the frame of his adorable yet handsome face. The lack of his clan ribbon made him look shamelessly naked.  Wei Wuxian always wondered why Lan Zhan never took off his restraint when Wei Wuxian came over to sleep. From an early age, Wei Wuxian thought of Lan Zhan as family, so he thought it was okay to take off his forehead ribbon. He used to get sad over thinking that Lan Zhan doesn't think of him as a family. To think that Lan Zhan would take off his restraints when they are aroused with lust- it makes Wei Wuxian aroused even more.

Lan Zhan looked at Wei Wuxian with a mesmerized smile just as Wei Wuxian does with fascination. “Kiss me” Wei Wuxian demanded bringing Lan Zhan closer with his arms and legs. 

They are kissing again. Loud and eager. Their teeths tackle, scrape the soft flesh of their lips.  They'll get better at kissing with practice. He marvels at the idea of practice kissing. Wei Wuxian's hands run over the expanded shoulders and back, to the mess of his hair. Wei Wuxian pressed themselves closer than they've ever been. Lan Zhan's erection pressed on his lower abdomen, Wei Wuxian was sure his erection was leaking as well. If he doesn't get rid of his pants quickly he might wet his pants. And it's a real hassle to wash cum smudged pants discreetly in a way that no other disciple will know. But here's the thing- Wei Wuxian isn't sure if Lan Zhan wants to go below the waist. So far he seemed content just to grind his cock against Wei Wuxian. 

“Lan Zhan-” Wei Wuxian says even though he doesn't know how to bring up that topic. He either has to calm himself down again or get rid of his trousers, both are equally awkward to say out loud. Lan Zhan was lost in his fervent kissing. His mouth was busy traveling around Wei Wuxian's throat, neck and shoulders, hands untying his robes and knots. Too focused to hear Wei Wuxian. When his hands brushed around Wei Wuxian's navel over just one layer of thin cloth Wei Wuxian's cock jerked, throbbing painfully. Panicking that he was closer than he expected, Wei Wuxian impulsively knocked Lan Zhan over. He turned them in a way so that Lan Zhan was lying on the mattress and Wei Wuxian was sitting above him. “Time out! Time out- give me a moment!” Wei Wuxian sputtered in a rush of nervousness. 

Lan Zhan stared at him dumbfounded. Then he stared at the obvious tent on Wei Wuxian's trousers- astounded. Wei Wuxian was washed with a strong desire to hide himself. No one has seen him in such an embarrassing state. 

What happened next really took Wei Wuxian's breath away. Lan Zhan- who was happy to just grind his cock against Wei Wuxian's body- showed him what a real trouser tent looks like. Wei Wuxian's jaw dropped at the length of that thing. It was covered yet Wei Wuxian could guess how scary that size was. Even Lan Zhan himself looked shocked like he's seeing his thing grow that big for the first time. He's flablagestared of his own erection, hiding his face with his hands like a shy maiden, if the room was brighter- the candle light has gone out- Wei Wuxian could have seen brilliantly red ear lobes. With  low groans the top of Lan Zhan's tent grew darker in a blink. Wei Wuxian's own tent was in no good state either, thanks to that hot low groan. 

“Do you-” Wei Wuxian paused and tried again, “Want to strip off?” 

Lan Zhan nodded quickly, hands still covering his face. 

Wei Wuxian breathed out. He's got the permission to strip Lan Zhan, he's about to do something he's only done in dreams with shaking hands. The knots on Lan Zhan’s waistband come loose with easy tugs. Blood drained from Wei Wuxian's face when he pulled the trousers down to the knees. As if that thing was not enough big inside the trousers, it stands prouder and even bigger with the constraints gone. It's darker in color, Wei Wuxian can't detect the exact color thanks to the darkness. Regardless of the darkness, due to his cultivation he can distinct out clearly how dark it is with veins pumping with blood, fluids glistening at the head. Wei Wuxian's mouth salivates, his cock leaks as well. 

Back when Wei Wuxian saw those porn books, he wondered why any woman would put a dick in their mouth. He's no woman- but he gets it. Wei Wuxian now understands why anyone would want to suck dicks.

“Fuck-” Wei Wuxian muttered under his breath,“Are you sure you're sixteen?” 

He pulled down his trousers, yanking it off completely from his legs. His robes were thrown off at some corner as well. Wei Wuxian sits butt naked, as naked as he came into this world. Lan Zhan has yet to recover from his flusteredness, covering his face and all. He's cute. Too cute.

Wei Wuxian wants to ruin him, make him worse. He can't help those willful desires to see how far he can take Lan Zhan till he snaps. He wants to know what happens when he crosses Lan Zhan's limit of patience, will he cry? Will he get angry?

He takes Lan Zhan's cock in his mouth without a warning. 

“Wei Ying!” Lan Zhan shouted as loud as his voice could get. One hand came to yank Wei Wuxian's head, gripping him by his hair. However, Lan Zhan was only a boy, a boy full of desires and lust. Even if he wanted to yank Wei Wuxian away, his body would refuse. Wei Wuxian heard a thump, Lan Zhan slumping back on the pillow, the grip on Wei Wuxian's hair remained tight. His legs were quivering in attempts to close. Wei Wuxian had to force Lan Zhan's legs down by squeezing his muscular thighs tightly. Lan Zhan was big. Way too big for Wei Wuxian's small mouth to take it entirely like the porn books did. He still tries, experimenting with the angles. The taste itself isn't the greatest– slightly bitter-salty, but it isn't about the taste. He likes it- He loves to hear Lan Zhan whimper. His cock was heavy in Wei Wuxian's tongue. He was so warm that Wei Wuxian could feel the blood pumping when he licked the whole length. He's noticed the small, barely audible whimpers Lan Zhan let out when he licks the head. Wei Wuxian determines in his mind to do better, so good that Lan Zhan will be forced to cry out loud. He takes it as a challenge. 

The whimpers do get louder when Wei Wuxian runs his tongue around the head, twisting around and sucking and licking. When he gets bored of licking he takes the cock in his mouth again, one hand stroking the length he can't take in,  making Lan Zhan gasp. He never let go of Wei Wuxian's hair- not that he minds. 

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan mewled. 

Wei Wuxian applauded himself in his mind. He starts sucking, the tip of Lan Zhan's cock brushing against the inner flesh of his cheeks. 

“Wei Ying,” this time Lan Zhan pulled him by his hair, “please-” He was panting loudly, legs restless to get Wei Wuxian's mouth away from his cock. He succeeded to yank Wei Wuxian away in his second attempt. Wei Wuxian too let go, fearing he might scarpe his teeth on Lan Zhan. No sooner did Lan Zhan's cock got out of Wei Wuxian's mouth, Lan Zhan came with a low wanton moan. His cum spread all over Wei Wuxian's face.

“Did it go in your mouth?!” Lan Zhan lurched up swiftly, still panting for air. His trembling hands cleaned Wei Wuxian's face with the sleeves of the  inner robe he was wearing. He could barely keep his head in one place yet he was worried about Wei Wuxian. 

Of course, it's no surprise. It's what makes Wei Wuxian love Lan Zhan.

Wei Wuxian stopped Lan Zhan from frantically dabbing his sleeves, smearing cum on his face. “So what if it got in my mouth,” Wei Wuxian says, “I've sucked quite a good amount of it already.”

Lan Zhan glared at him- No Lan Zhan pouted at him. He pouted so adorably with his dizzy head and teary eyes that Wei Wuxian couldn’t stop himself from laughing. He takes Lan Zhan on his arms, making him sit on his lap so that his head can rest on his shoulder. Undoing the robes Wei Wuxian complained, “You ruined your inner robe now, why are you still clothed when I'm naked as a wee baby. Lan Zhan, that's not fair.” 

When he got no response, he noticed Lan Zhan had closed his eyes, possibly asleep. Lan Zhan's body limp on his arms, his cock soft and smaller. He looked so beautiful like that. Wei Wuxian couldn’t believe himself what he's just done. Not only did he kiss Lan Zhan but to suck Lan Zhan's cock? That never really crossed his mind, it did- but he never thought he'd actually like it or enjoy sucking a dick. 

And Lan Zhan’s moans? The low whimpers? He can't forget it. If someone was to hit his head hard and make him lose his memory, he still would remember those salacious cock awakening sounds. 

Wei Wuxian moved to transfer Lan Zhan back on the mattress as slowly as he could. Night was deep, they were awake long after midnight. It was a long day for him and Lan Zhan, a wreck of high-low emotions. 

“Talking about fairness,” comes Lan Zhan voice. He stirrs from Wei Wuxian's arm, sitting on his knees, “when you're being unfair, is also unfair.” 

“Ah- I thought you fell asleep.” 

“Just rested my eyes for a bit.” Lan Zhan says peeling the inner robe away from his shoulders. Away goes the little cum smeared cloth, leaving Lan Zhan just as naked as Wei Wuxian. Whatever light came from the windows brought out his chiseled frame. Until that day, Wei Wuxian only imagined what Lan Zhan would look like with no clothes. But the real thing was beyond his imagination, a thousand times better. 

“Come here,” Lan Zhan says reaching out his hands. Wei Wuxian was confused, but gave his hand to Lan Zhan. The boy hauled Wei Wuxian's whole body in his arms. He made Wei Wuxian sit on his lap, skin rubbing against skin. He could feel Lan Zhan's firm thighs beneath the swell of his ass, wherever he touched he found firm warm muscles. Blood was rushing in his body again. “What about you?” 

“Huh?” Wei Wuxian speaks like a fool.

“You did not come.” 

“Oh-” Wei Wuxian just realized that. He's used to calming himself down without releasing, it didn't feel out of the box. Then again, there was no point in stopping himself from releasing now that he's finally with Lan Zhan in a way that he always desired. He smirks with mischief, pushing his abdomen closer to Lan Zhan's abdomen so that his dick touches Lan Zhan, “You can change that.”

Lan Zhan's hands pull out the ribbon from his ponytail. He watches Wei Wuxian's long hair fall along the shoulders. His hand followed the length of his hair stopping on his waist. Fingers  teases his waist intentionally knowing he'll get a good reaction from Wei Wuxian. And he gets what he wanted, Wei Wuxian squeaks in surprise and he's about to get hard again. 

“I want to try what you did.” Lan Zhan murmured looking into his eyes. 

“What did I do?” Wei Wuxian teases. 

Lan Zhan's eyes shys away from Wei Wuxian's teasing grin. “I want to suck you.” Wei Wuxian didn't think he'd ever hear Lan Zhan say ‘suck’ out loud. It surprises him with delightful laughter. It also gets him hard. 

“You have to make me harder.” He whispered in Lan Zhan’s ear giving that burning ear lobe a playful bite. 

Lan Zhan always takes him by surprise. Wei Wuxian didn't even get to finish his words. Lan Zhan was already grabbing his dick, making him yelp with pain and pleasure. He gave it an experimental stroke, brushing his guqin calloused long fingers along the length. He kneaded the base, where his pubes are covered in hair, unlike Lan Zhan's they weren't trimmed. Wei Wuxian felt abashed but also so so good. “More,” he begged with a shuddering breath, locking his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck.

“How do you prefer?” Lan Zhan asked, still running his fingers ghastly above his loins. 

“Huh?” Wei Wuxian says again like a stupid fool.

“Do you like it slow or fast?” 

“I- I don't know?” Wei Wuxian says. He's embarrassed but still admits, “I've never touched myself.” 

It's a good thing that he was looking at Lan Zhan's face. The way Lan Zhan's ways dilated, the hungry wild kind of look he gave was worth the wait. Wei Wuxian let Lan Zhan know that he's never touched himself to indulge his fantasies. He always wanted to experience his climax with his one true lover. Of course he couldn’t stop the wet dreams, but those were not intentional. It was the first time Wei Wuxian let himself indulge in sexual pleasure.

Lan Zhan pressed his lips against Wei Wuxian's. They lost themselves in frantic kisses. Lan Zhan's one hand rests below Wei Wuxian's waist, the other giving strokes at a different paces. 

When the strokes grew rough and fast Wei Wuxian moaned delightfully inside Lan Zhan's mouth. Lan Zhan took note of it stroking faster and rougher, making Wei Wuxian gasp for air. “That- yes- good- Lan Zhan- keep going.” 

Lan Zhan's thumb passed the soft flesh at the tip of his cock, sending shivers throughout his body. All Wei Wuxian knew was a tingling sensation vibrating his nerves and the cry he let out. A thin prolonged ringing sound played in his ears like a whistle. His vision was white, eyes stinging as if he cried,head dizzying. He took long breaths to return to his senses and found himself resting on the crook of Lan Zhan’s shoulder. Lan Zhan's hand holding his now soft cock, and a handful of cum. He didn’t think he'd come so fast, so easily, just by a few rough strokes and one strong press. 

“Sorry-” Wei Wuxian muttered trying to sit properly without his head bobing left to right. “I'll get something to clean this.” 

“No, you rest here.” Lan Zhan lays Wei Wuxian on the pillow. He leaves the bed, walking around the room completely naked. Wei Wuxian watches him with wonder while trying to catch his breath. He wished there was better lighting to take in the view. He can make out that Lan Zhan is using the pitcher water to clean his hands on the wash basin. He brings a wet towel to clean the slick fluids on his body. Wei Wuxian wanted to clean himself but Lan Zhan pinned him on the bed with a strict “lay down.” So Wei Wuxian laid down and watched Lan Zhan wipe his crotch clean. It felt more vulnerable than being naked, more embarrassing than sucking cock. These small things that Lan Zhan does, makes Wei Wuxian fall in love with him all over again.

Once they were both clean Lan Zhan brought him a glass of water to drink like all this was extremely tedious work. He wasn't thirsty for water, nevertheless appreciated how tenderly Lan Zhan looked after him. 

Lan Zhan sat beside him quietly wanting to say something. His body remains bare. Wei Wuxian encouraged him to say whatever was in his mind, so he said “When can we continue?”

“Continue?” 

“I wanted to try…. But then…” 

Oh right- Lan Zhan wanted to try sucking his cock. “I'm too tired.” He whined playfully. “My bones are shaking, I'm all out of energy.” 

“But-” Lan Zhan was too dejected for not letting him do what was promised.

“Come'ere,” Wei Wuxian pulled the big boy by his waist like a baby, “Let's cuddle now.” 

Lan Zhan's gloom wasn't entirely gone, but he complied with Wei Wuxian's playfulness. After a long day and a even longer night Wei Wuxian gets to cuddle his lover. They haven't cuddled this close ever since their body grew into teenage hormones, reacting to every sensual touch. Now that he thinks about it, they should have cuddled like this before and if one of their bodies reacted, it's not like the other would be disgusted or anything. Then- perhaps things would have been simpler. 

But what happened has happened. He can't change the past by dwelling on it. What matters is that he's finally together with Lan Zhan with no restrictions between them. That includes clothes as well. Being near, giggling and smiling, in each other's arms, Wei Wuxian can feel the ups and downs of Lan Zhan's muscles. The expanse of his shoulder,  his firm biceps, the strong chest that he admires so much and- oh Lan Zhan's nipple. Wei Wuxian gives it a soft press with no deep thoughts and feels it grow hard. Lan Zhan's breath staggered at the press, holding Wei Wuxians wrist he tried to stop him, then gave up to his desires. 

“Once you've rested well, can i-” 

“Oh ca'mon Lan Zhan!”

“...”

“Okay fine! Fine. Once I regain a little strength.” 

Lan Zhan smiles, cuddles so close that their noses are touching. He lets his hand wander around from the slope of Wei Wuxian’s waist to his abs, then to his chest. He kneaded the muscles of his pectorals, they are apparently softer compared to Lan Zhan's firm ones. He too plays with Wei Wuxian's nipples pressing and pinching the bud, noting down every twitch it causes. Wei Wuxian didn't know nipples could be sensitive like that, it certainly did not feel arousing when he touched himself there. 

Okay, now he knows why men have nipples even though they are deemed useless just because they don't lactate. But what if men lactate… he doesn't even know why the thought even occurred to him. 

“Try sucking ‘em.” says Wei Wuxian. 

Lan Zhan looks at him dubiously. Knowing that Wei Wuxian was being serious he leaned down with an open mouth. The warm moist mess that is Lan Zhan's mouth makes Wei Wuxian lose his mind all over again. The first lick on his bud was a warm sensation. It gave him goosebumps making the small hair all over his body stand. He pressed Lan Zhan's head, urging him to suck. When Lan Zhan sucks it. The sensation made him moan like he's some seductress trying to appease her target for money. Wei Wuxian was no seductress, nor was he trying to appease Lan Zhan for money. The lilting moans came one their own. Lan Zhan was good at everything he tried. Understanding what Wei Wuxian likes he pulls Wei Wuxian closer in his arms, sucking his pecs open mouthed. 

“Mmmgh- Yes. Good- Lan Zhan that feels so good. The other one. Nngh- the other one too please.” 

Lan Zhan played with his other nipple. Running his fingers ghastly, pressing when Wei Wuxian let out complaining whimpers. He squeezed it in between his knuckles, twisted it, pinched it playfully. The sensation of pleasure reached his dick. Blood down there pumped with juvenile force.

“Aaggh- Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, you're good. You're so good at sucking my nipples. Fuck- nhh- if I could lactate you know- you could've suck me out dry like this.” 

As Wei Wuxian said this- mostly as a joke- Lan Zhan gashed his teeth down on the softness of his chest. Wei Wuxian bewailed at the sudden pain. It's the same sort of hard bite Lan Zhan gave him years ago when he got drunk. “Lan Zhan what the hell!” He says, pushing Lan Zhan's face away from his chest. The sting on his pecs was flaring, Wei Wuxian could feel the row of dents around the dark circle of his nipple. “Are you a dog? Why'd you bite like that?!” 

Lan Zhan was looking at him like Wei Wuxian kicked him out of his house. He's already regretting biting Wei Wuxian. It was clear that he did not intend to bite. He murmured apologetically, “I got .... too excited.” 

Wei Wuxian's heart melted at his apologetic look. Knowing that it was Lan Zhan who bit him was more than enough for Wei Wuxian to overlook the fact that he's bad memories with biting and fangs. “Awww, come here my baobei.” He pulls Lan Zhan back to his chest, hugging his face tightly.  “Wei gege knows you didn't want to hurt him.” 

“Baobei,” Lan Zhan repeated.

“Mn, baobei.” 

Lan Zhan kisses the place he bit, then kisses Wei Wuxian deeply in his mouth, repeating baobei again and again. He likes it. He's so easy to read once you get to know him. Wei Wuxian doesn't understand how people find it hard to talk to him. 

“Wei Ying, baobei,” smiling widely, Lan Zhan says nuzzling their nose. “Can I try now?”

“Mn?” 

Lan Zhan grinds their erection to give him a hint of what he's talking about. 

“oh- Pfft- yeah. Go! give it your all!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed loudly. 

Lan Zhan wastes no time going down to kissing Wei Wuxian's lower abdomen. He leaves a trail of long kisses as he goes lower and lower till he's reached the dense haired shaft. Wei Wuxian embarrassingly wished he trimmed before walking in the Jingshi. Who knew they'd act on their carnal desires this fast!?

Lan Zhan kisses the length of his erection as well, obtaining moans of different pitch. He moans low pitched and cries when Lan Zhan kisses the tip of his cock. Lan Zhan gets in between Wei Wuxian's thighs, lying just as Wei Wuxian did to suck him. Unlike Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan can't get comfortable in that position. Wei Wuxian waits to see what Lan Zhan does to get what he wants. Lan Zhan frowned at him for finding delight in his distress. He got up and walked out of the bed, giving Wei Wuxian a good scare. He thought Lan Zhan got mad at him and was about to give him the cold shoulders. But  Lan Zhan just stood there right before the bedside asking Wei Wuxian to sit. 

Wei Wuxian was confused at first why Lan Zhan was asking him to sit but he did whatever was requested. Once sat at the very edge of the bed Lan Zhan knelt before him giving Wei Wuxian a shock of a lifetime. It's not the first time Lan Zhan is kneeling before him. However, based on context, considering how very naked they are and what proceeds next, should be written down as a historical remark. Lan Zhan , so handsome and beautiful, naked, bare forehead with disheveled hair, kneeling, eagerly waiting for Wei Wuxian to part his thighs.  The view, the image, should be drawn and displayed in the royal imperial courts. Any sweet praise would fail to withhold Lan Zhan's beauty.

Lan Zhan caressed his thighs as Wei Wuxian parted them for better access. “You've big thighs.” Lan Zhan commented nonchalantly before planting a kiss on his inner thigh. 

The comment itself ramshackled the structure of Wei Wuxian’s brain. His heart might as well leap out of his throat like a frog and land on Lan Zhan’s hand because that's who it belongs to. “Are you calling me fat?” Wei Wuxian mumbled pouting. 

Lan Zhan didn't answer it. His mind was set to suck on Wei Wuxian's dick. He took the head of Wei Wuxian’s cock, slow and deliberate, tasting the cum on his taste buds. When he's decided he doesn't hate it entirely, he pushes his mouth further around the cock. Wei Wuxian had to prop himself up with his hands. The warm sensation of Lan Zhan's mouth was threatening him to melt into soft mushy dough. His climax reached way too soon but Wei Wuxian didn't want to stop so fast. He'd hold himself, whimpering and moaning, hands and feets trembling, fingers and toes curling at one goosebumps after another. Lan Zhan was taking him in slowly while his eyes gazed at Wei Wuxian's pleasure-addled face. When he's taken half of Wei Wuxian in his mouth the sharp edge of his teeth nick on Wei Wuxian's already sensitive skin. 

“Ahhk-” Wei Wuxian couldn’t feign his pain. Before Lan Zhan could feel alerted Wei Wuxian sweet-talked him out with gentle pats on his head, “Lan Zhan sweetheart, be careful of your teeth.” 

Lan Zhan was… in a word- beaming, if one could beam with a cock in their mouth. He liked it, he liked being called sweet nicknames. But now that Lan Zhan was conscious of his teeth, he can't stop them from scraping Wei Wuxian. He gets more frustrated each time Wei Wuxian hissed and twitched with the sharp nips of his teeth. “Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian hisses again, “I'm afraid you're going to bite off my dick. Then I have to live the rest of my life like a eunuch.” 

“I'm trying.” Lan Zhan exasperated with a pout and puffed cheeks. His lips are swollen, slick with Wei Wuxian's cum. He gets a bit grumpy whenever he doesn't get anything right in his first attempt. Wei Wuxian finds it adorable. 

“We can try again another time, hmm?” Wei Wuxian suggested, running his fingers along the messy hair scratching lightly on the scalp. 

Lan Zhan isn't an easy person to persuade when he is grumpy. He buries his face on the soft flesh of Wei Wuxian’s thigh,nudging his nose and mouth in a way that it both tickles and arouses Wei Wuxian. He starts chewing the soft part, teething his flesh gently. Once he's chewed one area he moves to another warm spot. 

“Hey what am I? Your teething toy?” Wei Wuxian wanted to sound angry. Lan Zhan was so cute that his scolding came out more as a fond complaint. Wei Wuxian huffed with resignation. He brought Lan Zhan's face closer to pull him in a kiss. Lan Zhan has discovered that he loves biting a lot. He carefully bites Wei Wuxian's lips in between their kisses, hard enough to draw sultry moans out of him but light enough not to bruise. 

Wei Wuxian brings him back to the warm bed, who sits on whose lap was not known. Their thighs rest upon each other, chest pressed together, hot breath mingling. One Hand explores the other's body while the other one strokes each other's erection. 

They both fall on the bed together, huffing and panting loudly. They gaze at each other while catching their breath when the other one's alluring beauty threatens to burst their heart all together. Their body a mess of sweat and cum. Hands and abdomen smeared with thick fluids. Autumn chill fails to cool them down. 

“Is it me or are the birds actually chirping.” Wei Wuxian says once the after effect of coming disperse. 

Lan Zhan was the one close to the bedside window. He took a good look outside from where he was lying, and returned to Wei Wuxian with an unreadable look. 

“What?” Wei Wuxian asked.

“Nothing. Sleep.” Lan Zhan says, pulling the blanket over their body. 

“Lan Zhan!” They had yet to clean up the mess on their body. He pushed the blanket away with a kick. When he crawled to the window to look outside he saw the darkness of night fading into light. The horizon of the sky was showing hints of sunlight and birds were truly signing. 

Wei Wuxian couldn’t believe his eyes. They've stayed up the whole night- and doing what? Kissing and sucking and jerking each other off!? He barked out a hysterical laughter. Wei Wuxian really couldn’t believe they spent that much time fumbling with each other. 

“Good heavens this can't be real.” He slumps down on the bed again. It'll be five in no time, Wei Wuxian kept Lan Zhan awake for a whole night. “I'm sorry you couldn't sleep.” he says out of guilt. 

“No more sorry.” Lan Zhan embraced him, pulling the blankets again. Giving a chaste kiss on Wei Wuxian's cheek he says, “You don't have to apologize for everything, not to me.” 

“But how exhausted you must be.” Wei Wuxian whined pulling Lan Zhan even closer. 

“Wei Ying is more exhausted.” He says, placing another kiss near his eyes. “Traveling from Yunmeng to Gusu.” 

“Aww actually, I came to Gusu from Yilling.” 

“Yilling?” 

“Remember when I said, I ran away?” Lan Zhan gave a nod to his question. “I went to Yilling from Yunmeng. Then to Gusu from Yilling.” 

“Then it's me who should be apologizing.” 

Wei Wuxian gave the boy a long kiss over the lips, “No saying sorry to me as well.” 

Lan Zhan huffed, “Then it's a rule.”

“A rule?” 

“No more sorry between us.” 

“Even if I do something wrong?” 

“Even so.”

“Even if I make a big mess?” 

“Mn.”

“Even if I hurt you?”

“Despite everything.” Lan Zhan says, bringing their faces closer. He says with a bright enchanting smile, “Wei Ying owes me no apology.” 

Morning carried light to the once dark Jingshi. Dimmed sunrays descend and bless Lan Zhan's beautiful face, his golden eyes glows bright like the sun. Wei Wuxian felt like he was seeing Lan Zhan for the first time. Heart soared to the sky, blood wanting to escape his veins, Wei Wuxian couldn’t look directly at Lan Zhan and breathe at the same time. Hiding himself in the crook of Lan Zhan’s warm neck he mumbled, “Thankyou.” 

“No need to thank me either.” 

Wei Wuxian grumbled, feeling the vibration of Lan Zhan's vocal cord when he spoke. He's not allowed to say sorry, he can't even say thank you, what was he supposed to say then? 

Lan Zhan indulges his grumbling, lulling him to sleep. He said Wei Wuxian needed to rest, promising he'll wake Wei Wuxian up in time. Wei Wuxian couldn’t protest either. He's in his safest, warmest sanctuary, in Lan Zhan’s arms. He has found his peace, his mind calm and serene. What pure redamancy, he thought. Home, he concluded.

Notes:

Tho I yelled seggs at the beginning notes,, there actually is no actual sex (yet) this two dumbasses has yet to know how seggs between two dudes work. No neither of the two knows men take it up their ass ( • ₃ •)
At first I wanted to make Lan Zhan the sex guru like in Canon, like, he knows everything, all 69 sex exposition, and Wei Wuxian knows very little. Thennnnn when writing this chapter, Lan Zhan acted up on his own, now he knows nothing except the heterosexual baby making sex. His knowledge of love making exceeds to passionate kisses, mianmians romance novel only goes that far(she's also a big domestic fluff romantic like wwx) Lan Zhans grindings are purely primal instinct.
Where the first idea was sexy and hot, learning the horrors of sex together sounded more fun and cute. So here it is. I hope it matched up to your expectations ╭(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.°

Chapter 46: A song named Wangxian

Notes:

Now that the pining is over, its hard to write them constantly kissing. But they are constantly kissing.

Waking beside Lan Zhan was nothing out of the ordinary for Wei Wuxian's life. Years after years they lived their simple domestic life in harmony and amity. What changed was the soft kisses and tender caresses. Lan Zhan's mellow voice calling his name, josleting him awake, “Wei Ying, Wei Ying wake up, Wei Ying.” 

 

Wei Wuxian remained the same, whining to sleep a little more then waking up to Lan Zhan peppering small kisses all over his face. Talk about taking his breath away early in the morning. Acts as a good reminder of what they did the previous night, all night. Kissing, sucking, touching each other in places they never dared to touch, jerking off and sucking and kissing again. Their bodies smelling of each other, mouths carrying the taste of each other. 

Their mornings usually used to carry out following mundane routine. Washing their face, dressing up properly, getting the bed done, meditating then going for breakfast. 

That was all in the past.  Unlike other mornings, Lan Zhan sat beside him clothless. Not even the forehead ribbon returned. No sooner did Wei Wuxian open his eyes to the peppering kisses, Lan Zhan started cuddling him, nuzzling his nose in Wei Wuxian's neck, intertwining their bare limbs,  making Wei Wuxian croon with giggles. They stare at each other softly, devouring each other with gaze alone, studying each other's bodies under daylight, tracing the places they've kissed, the slopes and dents of their muscles, color of their skin, folds of their flesh. 

“It's brown.” Lan Zhan says circling around the dark area of his nipples without a hint of shame in his voice. It arouses Wei Wuxian again, early in the morning. 

“What time is it?” Wei Wuxian pouts covering his pectorals with his hands. 

“....half an incense before breakfast.” 

“Half!” Wei Wuxian squeaks jolting out of the bed. He gets to the wash basin frantically to clean up his face, to wipe his body clean from what they did last night. “Why didn't you wake me up earlier!”

“You needed to rest. So I let you.” Lan Zhan followed him to the privacy screen, not giving a damn about privacy anymore. Wei Wuxian couldn’t blame Lan Zhan for breaching in. They've seen everything, done even shameful things. Lan Zhan was shamelessly standing behind him, completely naked. He ogled at Wei Wuxian's naked body, eyes wandering from his waist to his ass and thighs, not even trying to be subtle anymore. Wei Wuxian's desire to hide himself fights with his desire to be seen. He liked to be stared at like Lan Zhan was a hungry wolf and Wei Wuxian a little helpless rabbit.

 

“I have yet to let Shufu know I'm back.” Wei Wuxian says cleaning his face with clean cold water, rinsing his mouth thoroughly. He wondered when could he taste Lan Zhan's cock again, when can he fill his mouth with Lan Zhan's seeds, if he should swallow them next time. “No one in Cloud recess knows I'm here. I sneaked in last night.”

“Sneak.” Lan Zhan muses, continuing to follow Wei Wuxian, he wanted to get water to wipe his body. Had he more time, he'd have chosen to bathe- for if anyone smells out the dried cum. It's not entirely impossible, is it?

When he reached the wet towels to clean himself he noticed Lan Zhan had wiped their bodies while he was lost in his little nap. Wei Wuxian glanced at Lan Zhan, watching him with a prideful smug smile. Wei Wuxian understood he was waiting for the realization to hit. When it did Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but blush furiously.

“Do you have to meet shufu?” Lan Zhan's query sounded more like a request to Wei Wuxian. The boy pulled him closer by the waist with hopeful eyes that says “please stay.”

Hands on waist with that adorable look does nothing to reduce Wei Wuxian's early morning blood rush. “I have to.” Wei Wuxian says while trying to move Lan Zhan's hands from his ticklish waist. Lan Zhan used the excuse to slide his hands down to the flesh of his ass, kneading his ass cheeks like one kneaded dough. “Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian whined. His cock was certainly not connected to his brain. If it was, it wouldn't have hardened up to have things its way.

Lan Zhan the shameless boy was rather delighted to successfully have Wei Wuxian aroused. Ears red, heart thumping, Lan Zhan pulled their bodies together, making Wei Wuxian's hard dick pressed in between.

Wei Wuxian was weak to Lan Zhan. Weak to his own desires. He had the strength to push himself away, but he didn't. Instead, he let Lan Zhan do what he wanted, let his cock have the life it wants. But his mind had other thoughts, “Aa- I have to know.. I have to know the situation outside.” Wei Wuxian's mouth blabbers on, “Ahh- a lot happened, Lan Zhan. I haven't told you any of it. I have to know what happened after I left Yunmeng.”

Hearing the mention of Yunmeng, Lan Zhan's grinding enthusiasm dies. The soft smile he had while teasing Wei Wuxian had melted down. The vivid redness of his ears cools down as well.Wei Wuxian regretted mentioning Yunmeng. 

“Fine.” Lan Zhan pouted. He looked down and said, “We'll continue this later.” Wei Wuxian had a feeling that Lan Zhan was talking to his dick instead of him. Before Wei Wuxian could say something, Lan Zhan kissed Wei Wuxian on the lips, making him shut up. It was not an open mouthed passionate kiss but a long press of soft lips over lips. He took Wei Wuxian's hands to walk him to the low cabinet. Making Wei Wuxian sit before the mirror he goes to retrieve their clothes. That's when Wei Wuxian sees the mess he is. Not only is his face permanently red, his neck was tinged with faint reddish plum coloured marks. Wei Wuxian was aghast by the color of Lan Zhan's mouth shaped teeth marks around one of his nipples, one on his thigh. “Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian complained shouting. His robes won't be able to hide the marks on his neck, what is he going to answer people if they ask how they got there.

 

“We don't have time to worry over this.” Lan Zhan says. He's completely unbothered by Wei Wuxian's frustration. He says wearing a high neck collared inner robe will cover most of his neck. 

Then the shameless boy exposed his own throat to Wei Wuxian, showing a beautiful dark pink area. If one was to guess, they'd say Lan Zhan was hit directly on his voice cord. But Wei Wuxian knows how that mark came to be there. He was the one to suck that place, he adorned Lan Zhan's throat with a blotch shaped like his mouth. Wei Wuxian wanted to paint Lan Zhan's body with more sucking marks. 

Lan Zhan's red-pink throat moves as he speaks, “You marked a place even high collars can't hide.”

Wei Wuxian isn't sorry about it. That's his problem to deal with, not Wei Wuxian's.

 

After Wei Wuxian had stopped fussing over the spots, Lan Zhan happily helped out Wei Wuxian get dressed. He buttoned Wei Wuxian's undershirt- which actually belonged to Lan Zhan because Wei Wuxian doesn't own any high neck inner shirts. They helped each other don with layers and layers of their uniform. Lan Zhan combed Wei Wuxian's hair for him. He returned with their forehead ribbon on his hand, Wei Wuxian's plain white one interlaced with Lan Zhan's cloud patterned one. Inconsiderate of the rule about touching another person's ribbon. Wei Wuxian's heart skipped a few beats. He pretended like Lan Zhan holding his forehead ribbon and tying it around his head was nothing extraordinary.

Lan Zhan kissed Wei Wuxian's nape, then his warm blushing cheeks. He carefully held his clan ribbon, designed with blue clouds, near Wei Wuxian's hands and whispered near his ears, “Return the favor?”

Wei Wuxian saw the smug smile Lan Zhan gave from the reflection of the mirror. Lan Zhan knew what he did. He knew what that meant yet acted like he didn't just change the shape of their relations. Wei Wuxian knew Lan Zhan held him just as high as he held Lan Zhan. Even so, the act of tying a sacred ribbon that only parents, children and spouse are allowed to, is too exhilarating for Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian laughed a little. Then he cried a little. Then he did both, laughing with tears in his eyes. Kissing Lan Zhan adequately he took the silk ribbon in his hand. Feeling the texture over the cloud embroidery they look bashfully at each other. Wei Wuxian tied the knot on the back of Lan Zhan's head, just below the strands separated by his top knot half bun.

 

Nothing out of the ordinary happens. Wei Wuxian is the same old Wei Wuxian. Lan Zhan remains as beautiful as the first day he met him. Sky is muted blue with a thin layer of indigo clouds. Trees continue shedding leaves. Birds sing the same old song. Nothing changed. Yet everything changed. Wei Wuxian feels born anew. He feels like he was a caterpillar all his life. He feels like he'd gone dormant in his cocoon of misery for a short while. Lan Zhan had torn a hole in his silken cocoon and pulled him out to spread his wings, to flutter around with the joy of juvenility. 

---

Wei Wuxian knocks on Lan Qiren’s doors before entering. He never waits for permission so Lan Qiren knows the one walking in his quarters before he could say come in has to be no other than Wei Wuxian. 

 

Wei Wuxian has his head low while greeting the man, half because he's worried what happened in Lotus pier, half because he's overly conscious about the kiss marks on his neck. Lan Zhan assured him they were well hidden behind his high collar, still Wei Wuxian can't risk exposing them to Lan Qiren, might he pop a blood vessel. 

 

“When did you return?” Lan Qiren asked, signing him to sit. He was in his morning meditation, waiting for the servants to bring his breakfast. 

“Just now.” Wei Wuxian lies and assigns himself an apt punishment for lying. He doesn’t like lying to Shufu about matters that didn't need to be lied about. 

“Go for breakfast.” Shufu says, his eyes closed once again. 

Wei Wuxian cheers in his mind that the old man did not notice anything different in Wei Wuxian. He cleared his throat to speak, “About what happened in Yunmeng…. I am sorry.”

Lan Qiren scoffed. “I have talked to Jiang zongzhu. Who knew that man was planning to set up an engagement between you and his daughter.” 

Lan Qiren was angry. Not at Wei Wuxian but at Jiang Fengmian. Wei Wuxian was washed with relief now that he knew Lan Qiren was not dismayed. That's all he needed, other's opinion could be damned.

 

“Marry into their family?!Are you a woman?” Lan Qiren grumbled just as Wei Wuxian sighed. Wei Wuxian was perplexed by Lan Qiren’s abrupt change in tone. Though Lan Qiren conducted himself immediately, his discontent was no less subtle. He kept mumbling, “Take you in their family like it's easy. What nobleman proposes a betrothal before talking with the boy's family.”

Wei Wuxian carefully doesn't break into tears that Lan Qiren considers him as his family. He cackled instead, joking “Ah shufu, if he consulted you first would you be handing me over to his daughter.”

There was glint in Lan Qiren’s eyes- perhaps of recognition. How long had it been since Wei Wuxian last joked to Lan Qiren, more than two seasons?

Lan Qiren’s tightly held shoulders relaxed. He says in a calmer tone, “A man should bring a woman in his home, not go to the woman's house.” 

Wei Wuxian giggled thinking how traditional the thought was. He relaxed too, resting his arms on the desk near him, “But this man here,” Wei Wuxian points to himself, “does not have a house to bring in a wife. Should this poor one remain unmarried then?” Wei Wuxian lamented dramatically.

“You can buy an acre of land from me.” Lan Qiren says going back to his meditation like he just didn't throw a whole mountain equivalent of information at Wei Wuxian.

“Wha- buy land!?” Wei Wuxian sputtered, “from you?!” 

“You have more than enough money to buy lands.” Lan Qiren says like Wei Wuxian's mind wasn't doing somersault at the adult talks- the boring kind of adult talks. Sure Wei Wuxian had enough money saved. Wei Wuxian's earnings, savings, and monthly allowance is conducted by Lan Qiren himself. Then again, Wei Wuxian rarely ever buys anything with his allowance. If he wanted something he'd whine for it to Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan never refused him. Should Wei Wuxian tell the man that he was digging the golds from his little nephew's pouch. The old man even goes as far as saying, “I can decrease the selling price for you and your wife.” 

Right- they were talking about Wei Wuxian's non existential wife. “It's never going to happen then.” 

“Hmmm?” 

“I'm going to elope.” Wei Wuxian joked. 

But his joke was taken seriously by the serious man. He takes a scroll from his desk fuming silently, “Out! Scram before I hit you!” 

Wei Wuxian didn't need to be told to scram. He had escaped way before Lan Qiren could open his eyes. Not out of fear but mirth. There is a different kind of fun in annoying Lan Qiren.

 

Wei Wuxian ran out of the house cackling and giggling, and saw Lan Zhan waiting right before the stairs of the main entrance. Wei Wuxian was high on mirth, so much that he felt like wings had actually grown on his back. When he found Lan Zhan waiting at the stairs and he deliberately jumped in his arms.

Lan Zhan was strong and muscular, but also lean in build. Wei Wuxian jumping on him without a warning made him topple backwards till they both fell on the ground.

Nevertheless, Lan Zhan caught Wei Wuxian in his arms, he always did. Baffled out, he asked “What did shufu say?” 

“He's not angry at all.” 

“Mn, as expected.” 

“I was expecting him to be.” 

“There is no good reason to be angry at you.” 

“But I…” Wei Wuxian has yet to know what Cloud recesses knows, what information that news contained. He let the thought go as his stomach cried for food. He's not eaten anything since last night.

 

 

They arrive at the dining hall hand in hand, walking so close that they almost step on each other. If Lan Xichen saw them being awfully close, he says nothing. There is a glint in his eyes, a knowing smile on his lips. The teasing smile made Wei Wuxian ticklish with abashedness.  They jolt away from each other pretending as though they've not even noticed each other before a third person mentions it. Wei Wuxian acts like he's not sucked Lan Zhan's dick, Lan Zhan acts like his mouth hadn't covered Wei Wuxian's body with kisses. They acted like their hands weren't trying to pull themselves together like magnets.

Wei Wuxian's fellow disciples beamed at Wei Wuxian saying “you're back!” each time he greeted them with cheerful smiles and hugs. Their “you're back” sounded like they were saying your old self is back. Wei Wuxian was glad to be back, to have found his way back to himself, to Lan Zhan. 

Lan Zhan discreetly shared his food with Wei Wuxian, gave him what he liked, took what he hated. His glances wander a little long on Wei Wuxian. He speaks to Wei Wuxian in a softer tone. 

 

The small romantic gestures make Wei Wuxian squirm. The gestures themselves were not new to Wei Wuxian. Then again everything Lan Zhan did was new to him. They are in love! Wei Wuxian now knows Lan Zhan is doing these things out of love, not because he's a really good friend. He wants to declare his love to everyone. He wanted to shout how much Lan Zhan loved him. He wanted to show the marks he bore on his body, tell people how good it is to kiss.

He can't- or he doesn't. As much as Wei Wuxian said he's gotten over his fears, he'd not want others involved in his peaceful relationship. The idea of being in a secret relationship is more thrilling to him. Doing something that's forbidden, hiding from everyone's eyes to kiss each other breathless, being awfully in love while not letting another soul guess the depth of their bond, to Wei Wuxian it's more adventurous and thrilling.

Wei Wuxian yaps about Lan Zhan to Wuming in between his brakes. He'll combust if he doesn't blabber how perfect Lan Zhan is, how soft his lips are, how firm his chest is, how soothingly his voice is, how he is so gentle yet so rough with Wei Wuxian.

 

“See these kiss marks!” Wei Wuxian pulled down his collars to show Wuming his neck, “they are all over my body. He even bites too! I swear he bites like a dog but god damn it I can't even be mad at him!”

Wuming listened to him patiently, happily wagging his tail. His pointy ears twitched everytime Wei Wuxian told him an overly lewd act like the moment where Lan Zhan couldn't prevent his teeth from biting Wei Wuxian's dick while trying sucking, or just how terrifyingly big- half as long as his dizi and almost as fat as their scabbard- Lan Zhan's manhood is when they're both the same age.

 

“I need not to know every detail.” Wuming would say. Albeit he was so happy for Wei Wuxian. His happiness couldn't be contained in his small body when Wei Wuxian told him that Lan Zhan was the one to tie his forehead ribbon, and vice versa. 

All in all, Wuming kept nagging Wei Wuxian to be strict with Lan Zhan. He kept lecturing on Wei Wuxian's laxness over Lan Zhan. He instructed Wei Wuxian to stop Lan Zhan from doing anything against his will or anything that hurts him. Wuming’s exhortation over Wei Wuxian's well being ran far to their bedtime activities. Wei Wuxian laughed because he loved Wuming for how much he cared about him. He assured Wuming that Lan Zhan isn't the type of guy to do anything against Wei Wuxian's will. Lan Zhan is always concerned about Wei Wuxian's comfort, he won't do anything that ccauses him distress. Then again, they are exploring each other and themselves, figuring out what they like and don't like. So far Wei Wuxian liked everything he did with Lan Zhan.

 

“How exactly did you confess?” Wuming once asked out of curiosity.

Wei Wuxian's immediate reaction was absolute mortification. He practised confessing his love for Lan Zhan from word to word only for him to just skip over the confession to jump on Lan Zhan’s lap.  

But when Wei Wuxian tried to speak to Lan Zhan later that day, that boy was not having any of it. The moment they were free for the day's duties, Lan Zhan pulled him in the Jingshi, threw him on the bed, and tucked the blankets to his chin. “Sleep,” Lan Zhan said. “Wei Ying needs proper rest.” Lan Zhan kept repeating. 

Wei Wuxian was not exhausted at all. In fact, Wei Wuxian felt more alive than before. Even so, Lan Zhan was adamant to get Wei Wuxian the eight hours of adequate sleep. 

“You didn't sleep too. Let's sleep together.” Wei Wuxian had proposed. They could spend their free afternoon sleeping and cuddling, to save energy for a more active night. 

Lan Zhan placed a kiss over his forehead ribbon saying he had planned to get Wei Wuxian something special for dinner. Since it's their first day together, in a romantic way, they should celebrate the day with something special. Wei Wuxian was awestruck by Lan Zhan's enthusiasm. Where Wei Wuxian completely forgot about celebrations with a mind was occupied by his lovers beauty, Lan Zhan was stepping up to plan their dates, celebrating their days like the young secret lovers of their generations do.

What Lan Zhan will be buying for him was kept a  secret, surprise, he'd said. Wei Wuxian didn't fret much. He let Lan Zhan lull him to sleep, dreaming of cotton candies and clouds. 

 

Late after evening, nightfall settled on the dark paths. Incense past their usual dinner time, Lan Zhan had yet to return with dinner. Wei Wuxian rolled around the floor with growling stomach, whining and calling his lover's name, sending continuous messages to return back home.

When Lan Zhan did return back he looked like he'd been through a ten versus one sparring session. Although autumn nights in Gusu were as cold as winters in Qinghe, Lan Zhan's temple glistened with a thin sprinkle of sweat. He carried a tray of bowls and plates, carrying a rich fragrance of chilli pepper and spices. 

“Wow wow, where did you get that?” Wei Wuxian mused helping Lan Zhan set the table. The smell of spice filled up his nose as he uncovered the bowls, filling his mouth with water.

 

“Eat. It's getting late.” Lan Zhan handed over the chopsticks. They sat side by side before the table. Wei Wuxian started with his favourite mapo tofu. The soft texture of tofu mixed in chilli paste and garlic melts in his tounge. Wei Wuxian hadn't had the perfect mapo tofu for quite a few months. Could recess hardly ever serve anything with chilli paste, no inn served the amount of spiciness Wei Wuxian liked. Wei Wuxian guessed, Lan Zhan must have personally asked the inn chef to add more spice. That's very Lan Zhan of him.

Wei Wuxian squealed with delight. The feeling of spice burning his tongue makes him feel alive. Lan Zhan huffed adoringly at his childishness, his eyes never leaving Wei Wuxian. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian bemoaned. He held Lan Zhan's hand, bringing it closer so that his face could be caressed, “You spoil me.”

“I want to.” Lan Zhan caressed his jaws and cheeks gently. 

“Keep spoiling me like this,” Wei Wuxian cooed, bringing Lan Zhan's hand closer to his lips. He kissed the soft pad of his palm. However, as he kissed he caught a strong hint of garlic. The dishes Lan Zhan bought had a good amount of garlic in them. Other than the plain white rice there was mapo tofu, spicy bamboo shoot soup, spicy cucumber salad, there's fresh chilli garlic sauce as well. The possibility of garlic stench creeping out of the bowls to fall on Lan Zhan's  hand was negative. “Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian paused, keeping Lan Zhan's hand closer to his nose, praying his guess to be wrong, “Why…does your hand smell of garlic?” 

Lan Zhan reacts surprised like he's been caught red handed- or garlic handed. He retracts his hand back to himself, taking a sniff to check if Wei Wuxian was telling the truth. Wei Wuxian wasn't messing around, and he didn't need to be told what that meant. 

It makes more sense why Wei Wuxian never found a inn that served food with the perfect spiciness, why it took Lan Zhan so long to return with dinner, why he was glistening with sweat and smelled like kitchen.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian cast a brief look at the dishes on his table then back at the boy he calls his lover. “Don't tell me… you- that you!” He fails to put his feelings into words, the very same words that choke his throat with profound contentment. 

“I washed my hands with soap,” Lan Zhan let out with relent. “I was in a hurry and forgot to check the smell.” 

“But….” Wei Wuxian's eyes darted from the food to Lan Zhan's stupid soft prideful smile,  to his hands then back at the food. He was gaping stupidly like a fish out of water. His face burned like his tounge did with spice.

Lan Zhan huffed. He was laughing at Wei Wuxian. Where Wei Wuxian was dying with the rapture of gratitude, Lan Zhan was laughing at him. He took a cube of red tofu and placed it in Wei Wuxian's gaping mouth,nudging his jaws shut. He says in his silvery soothing voice, “I want Wei Ying to eat well.” 

Wei Wuxian's body was too small to contain the beyond astronomical love he felt for his zhiji. Crying was the only way he knew to keep his emotions from fulminating him into bits. These emotions he has for Lan Zhan couldn't be described by one flimsy word as love. What Wei Wuxian had for Lan Zhan was more than just love. Endless affection, boundless trust, faith, loylty, respect, reverence, adoration, devotion, enchantment, endearment, beguilement, obsession, madness, weakness, he'd fall short of words to name these emotions.

Choking on the said emotions, Wei Wuxian ate the food his beloved made with his own two hands, savouring every grain. Lan Zhan kept a reassuring hand on his back, patting him silently. He doesn’t ask Wei Wuxian to stop crying, and Wei Wuxian is thankful for being understood. They ate their dinner in complete silence mixed with Wei Wuxian's sobs and occasional clinks of chopsticks against blows and plates.

 

 

“Feel better?” Lan Zhan asked after he returned the cutleries. He made Wei Wuxian herbal floral tea to calm down. Their outer layers of robes were undone, and Wei Wuxian was covered loosely with a blanket. 

“How long have you been doing this?” Wei Wuxian asked, warming his hands on the warm cup as they sip their tea. 

“Not often.” Lan Zhan answered.

“Since when?” Wei Wuxian murmured, “I didn't even know you could cook. Lan Zhan, it's so unfair that you cook for me without my knowledge. It's unfair if I don't cook for you. And I don't even know how to make rice.”

Lan Zhan pressed a soft kiss near the corner of his puffy eyes. “You worry too much about fairness.” He scooted closer than  before, almost bringing Wei Wuxian in his lap. “Since when did our bond become a measurement of fairness and unfairness?” 

“It's not, but still!” Wei Wuxian pouted. “I want us to be equal.” 

Lan Zhan pressed their noses together, “We are equal.” 

Wei Wuxian's heart leapt out of his chest. Long forgotten the herbal tea, they were back to kissing each other. Their tongue tasted like an odd but good mixture of spice and tea.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian repeated, pushing their mouths out of each other. He pressed his palm over Lan Zhan's lips, “Let me say it now or I'll forget again. I've been meaning to give you a proper confession of my love for you.” 

Wei Wuxian pulls out the poetry book. He hands it over, his declaration of love. “I wanted to confess giving you this during Qixi. Then everything happened and I lost myself to doubt and loathing.”

“Wei Ying–”

“I'm fine now, Lan Zhan. I don't doubt our love. I don't hate myself for who I am and what people make out of me.” Wei Wuxian assured. He noticed Lan Zhan wanting to say something, but decided to hear out Wei Wuxian first. “Like, I was saying. I wanted to confess my feelings. Although you know everything, and we've done everything. I want you to know how much I love you.” 

Wei Wuxian inhaled and exhaled, “I love you. Lan Zhan, I love you. You're my zhiji, my soulmate, my best friend, and my beloved. If I was to devote my whole life to anyone, I'd devote myself to you. There is no one like you. No one knows me like you do. You're especially wonderful. I can't live without you. I can't share you with anyone. I want you all for myself and in return I give you all of me. If a soul was divided in two, one vessel would be me and another would be you. You make me whole, you complete me with that part of your soul.”

Wei Wuxian planted a kiss on Lan Zhan’s forehead, right on the sacred ribbon. “I love you, I fancy you, I want to spend my whole life with you. I want us to rest well, eat well, smile and laugh, cry and wail, together, always together and never apart.” 

Lan Zhan's eyes were burning red as tears poured down his eyes. His heart was bursting and rebuilding itself only to burst again. Wei Wuxian kissed the tear stained cheeks. He licked the salty tear streak up to the corner of those golden bright eyes. Kissed the red tipped earlobes. Pulling the restraining ribbon from Lan Zhan's temple with his mouth, hand slipping in Lan Zhan’s chest, he whispered in Lan Zhan’s ears, “Only you. My body desires only you.”

Lan Zhan pulled them together. His mouth sucking on Wei Wuxian's mouth, lips, anywhere he wanted. Lan Zhan pulled the ribbons from Wei Wuxian's head. Within a blink Wei Wuxian was stripped out of every fabric from his body. He was carried to bed, moaning and whining. Grinding their bodies. Lan Zhan left the bed, making Wei Wuxian cry for his warmth. Wei Wuxian noticed he was laying on the bed vertically, his legs dangling down the bed. 

Oh , he thought to himself. 

As anticipated, Lan Zhan was on his knees. He pulled Wei Wuxian's thighs over his shoulders. Wei Wuxian sat back to take in the view of Lan Zhan's head pressed between the thick flesh of his thighs.

I must draw it. Wei Wuxian thought in his mind. Before he could trace the lines and angles of their mingled body Lan Zhan sucked the lights out of him. 

Wei Wuxian cried with the sensation of Lan Zhan's warm moist mouth around his cock. He could feel himself growing bigger inside Lan Zhan's mouth. He saw Lan Zhan's cheek bulge in the shape of his cock, he felt the tender flesh of Lan Zhan's inner cheek. He wasn't going to last long, he was already leaking in Lan Zhan’s mouth. 

Lan Zhan's face didn't show any hint of dissatisfaction at the feeling of Wei Wuxian in his mouth. He was far better at sucking Wei Wuxian than last night, none of his teeth scraped on him.

Wei Wuxian babbled out, “You're doing great. Lan Zhan, did you practise? Did you put something in your mouth to practise sucking? What- ahh- what did you practise withng- that- hhh- cucumber salad we ate- did you put that in your mouth? Did you sucked that and made me eat it! How are you so good?”

Lan Zhan was getting infuriated. He was gripping Wei Wuxian's thighs so hard that Wei Wuxian was sure he's going to see bruises shaped in Lan Zhan's long fingers. He loves the notion of it. “Not only did you touch yourself to indulge in naughty pleasures. You sucked something other than my cock. And i– I was keeping myself chaste for you. Had I known- had I known I wouldn't have gone through that hell of calming my cock in the cold pond.”

Lan Zhan was so infuriated that he was pressing his nails in Wei Wuxian's flesh. In a swift motion he took all of Wei Wuxian in his mouth. As soon as Wei Wuxian felt the tip of his cock touch the back of Lan Zhan's throat, his spine melted into slime. The hand that was keeping himself propped up, gave up as well. Wei Wuxian was now lying limp on the bed  writhing with goosebumps. It's not like Wei Wuxian's manhood is small. His dick might not be as big or fat as Lan Zhan's, but he's sure he is not small. How is it impossible to take a whole cock in one's mouth without gagging? “How can you do that!” Wei Wuxian tried complaining but it came out as a weak high pitched whine. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan. I can feel your throat with the tip. Fuck- it feels too good.” 

Lan Zhan took his praise and started moving his head. He bobbed his head in and out, in and out, making Wei Wuxian quiver with one after one wave of pleasure. Wei Wuxian was sure he was squeezing Lan Zhan's head with his thighs, he couldn’t loosen his grip either. By that point Wei Wuxian had lost his control over his mouth, he was blabbering random words and wails and crying out Lan Zhan's name. He wasn't fast enough to warn or yank Lan Zhan's head out of his cock. Wei Wuxian spilled himself in Lan Zhan’s mouth.

He heard Lan Zhan coughing and sniffing as his ears rang with white noise. His body was too limp to reach out for Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan reached Wei Wuxian himself, he climbed back to Wei Wuxian, kissing his mouth once again. Wei Wuxian tasted his seeds through the kiss and found he didn't mind as long as it was Lan Zhan. 

 

Wei Wuxian attempted to return the favour. He tried to take Lan Zhan's whole cock and discovered his jaws weren't strong enough to take that terrifying thing wholly.

They bathed together for the first time of their entire life together. They've bathed together before but not like that, not completely naked, not washing each other's back, not teasing each other with flirty touches, not kissing each other, not soaking in warm water in a tub made for one person, intertwined with each other like lovers did. 

Lan Zhan's hands did leave finely shaped bruise marks on Wei Wuxian's thighs, just below his ass, there were crescent shaped nail marks at the top of each finger shaped bruise. Lan Zhan was worried at first, Wei Wuxian assured that he liked the sting of bruises, they were similar to the burn of spice.

Lan Zhan revealed that he loved having his head squeezed in Wei Wuxian's thighs. It made Wei Wuxian laugh a little. He could imagine himself squeezed in Lan Zhan’s thighs, he's sure his head would burst like a watermelon. 

“Because your thighs are more hard and muscular.” Wei Wuxian said, “Why are yours more firm and muscular than mine? We have the same workout routine.”

Wei Wuxian was resting on Lan Zhan’s lap, his back to Lan Zhan's chest. Their hair pulled into a bun. He had to turn his head to meet Lan Zhan's eyes. Lan Zhan looked really kissable with a bun. 

“You eat meat.” Lan Zhan says. 

“You do too.” 

“Once a month when you insist. But you sneak in meat and fatty food almost every week.” 

Wei Wuxian pouted playfully, “You're calling me fat again.” 

“I did not.” Lan Zhan scoffed. “Your glutes accumulated within your muscles, making them bigger but softer.” He says while subconsciously kneading Wei Wuxian's thighs and pecs.

Wei Wuxian pretends like he wasn't getting aroused again. He pulled their biceps together to measure their thickness. To Wei Wuxian's surprise his biceps were infact slightly bigger than Lan Zhan.  He giggled in triumph and said, “Wait a few years Lan Zhan. I'd be as muscular as Nie Mingjue.” 

Lan Zhan puffed his cheeks in dissatisfaction. “You're cute this way.” 

“Eh- ahahaha” said Wei Wuxian blushing like he didn't know Lan Zhan found him cute, like he doesn't intentionally acts cute. “Can't I be both muscular and cute? Won't you like me if I'm muscular.” 

Lan Zhan's brows were knitted tightly with a one sided puff of cheek. He doesn’t want Wei Wuxian to be big muscular like Nie Mingjue. But his gradually redding ears said otherwise. His desires were contradicting each other within himself. 

Wei Wuxian found him funny. Lan Zhan was really funny. He pulled the funny little boy in a consolidating hug saying, “Lan er gege, why are you so hilarious.” He giggled some more resting his head on Lan Zhan’s shoulder, “Your Wei Ying will remain the same Wei Ying. Muscular or not. And besides I'm sure I can't grow as big as Nie Mingjue. That's out of my capability.”

“Everything is possible for Wei Ying.”

“Hahaha, you think too highly of me.”

“I'll train harder.” Lan Zhan says. “I'll grow stronger. If Wei Ying gains more muscles, I'll still be able to carry.” 

“Ah- so that's what you are concerned about.” 

“Mn.” 

Wei Wuxian fascinates how easily Lan Zhan let his concerns out even if it sounded embarrassing to say. He used to be reserved when they were children, never letting his thoughts out of his minds.

“I had a gift for you too.” Lan Zhan said when Wei Wuxian fell silent. “I wanted to give it to you in this Qixi.” 

“Great minds think alike, I guess.” Wei Wuxian smiled kissing the boy again. It's funny how they were both trying their best to confess their unspoken love. Yet…  

“Can I know what that gift was?” 

“Mn.”

 

The gift was a song. A song written and composed by Lan Zhan alone. Wangxian, he said the name was. A song named after them. A melancholic song that conveyed his love and longing with regret hidden in subtext. Lan Zhan has always been great in literature. His voice was blessed by the gods of singing if one were to exist.

Wei Wuxian cried for the second time that night. He cried himself to sleep. He slept peppering soft kisses on the face of the boy he loved with all his being.

Notes:

Wangxian: *trying to keep their *new* relationship a secret*
Disciple 1: Aren't they acting a little weird today?
Disciple 2: meh they've always been a little weird

*
Wwx: *hiding his hickeies with high collars* no one should know
Lwj: *casually walking around with a hickey on his Adam's apple* how will they.
CR disciples: we know! We Fucking Know!

*
Lxc: *worried what his little brother might be going through hearing Wwx and Jyl betrothal*
Wangxian: *breathing in each other's air*
Lxc: oh :)
*
Wuming lwj after hearing Wwx broadly explain lan Zhan's dick: I know he has a big dick >:( I used to be that.

*
The question is, did lwj practice cock sucking with something ? No one knows.

Chapter 47: Poems of Xianwang

Notes:

Small chapter and a lot of poems

“Xianwang” Lan Zhan repeated, “Why Xianwang?” 

Wei Wuxian had named the title of of his poetry book as Poems of Xianwang, as a matching set for the song of Wangxian. 

“If your song Wangxian was a gift to Wuxian from Wangji, then my poems are a gift to Wangji to Wuxian.” 

 

Lan Zhan huffed like it was joke. Wei Wuxian didn't mind. They sat on the back porch of Jingshi to read the poems the Wei Wuxian wrote. Afternoon breeze rustles the branches of tress. Tea and light snacks sit idly on the porch, neither of the two care to eat.

For a writer and a poet, to show their writings to a person it self is a declaration of love. The content of the poems aren't explicit yet he felt self conscious of his pounding heart. Embarrassed of his own writing he hides his face on the crook of Lan Zhan’s neck. 

 

Lan Zhan pressed a kiss on the side of Wei Wuxian's temple. Wei Wuxian could feel his wide smile through the kiss. 

 

Lan Zhan starts loudly reciting like he's reciting infront of a class. He was teasing Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian was easily teased. 

 

“Read quietly like you always do!” Wei Wuxian whined, playfully punching the other one's chest. 

Lan Zhan giggled before he started reading properly, in the soft soothing voice that Wei Wuxian loves.

---

“This one was my first proper poem.” Wei Wuxian informed, “I was probably thirteen back then.”

Enwrap in slik

White as milk.

I wait for you

To cuddle me.

Layers of Layers 

Like an Onion of spring.

Opaque and translucent 

Beautiful like dream. 

Like the peach boy 

You were secured in 

the core of onion. 

Find me

Like the peach boy 

found the den of devils. 

Tell me 

Stories of your journey.

Unlike the story of peach boy

The den of devil exists not

Jingshi is tranquil

With jokes and joy.

I wait for you 

leaving your layers 

showing me your core

Vulnerable heart. 

You're layered like onion 

making me cry 

without ever hurting.

 

“Don't laugh! I know it's not as good as others!” 

“I'm not making fun of it.” Lan Zhan says with a smile. “It's cute. I remind you of onions?” 

“Noooo, not like that!!! You know onions have so many layers, you have so many layers…. In that sense…” 

“In that sense I'm a onion.”

“Lan Zhan!!” 

 

---

 

 

Wei Wuxian informs, “This one I wrote after a really weird dream. But the dream was so good you know! I had to write a poem about it.” 

Scent of spring blossoms make me dream

I climb mountain peaks through azure clouds. 

Blue and blue, you follow through. 

What utopia have we reached

Flower fairies showered us with petals 

A river of not water but fruit syrup

We row through boats out of walnut shell

Loquats as big as melons and melons as small as kernels

Lotus leaves shed us like umbrellas 

Fish sang songs, frogs wrote novellas. 

What did they sing about?

What did they write?

Our journey to north-west

And your eyes shine bright.

What dream to wake up to

A world of just you and I.

Dwelling on such dream

I let out a sigh.

“It is a good dream.” Lan Zhan too sighs after reading it. “I wish I could see the dreamland with Wei Ying.” 

“Now that you've mentioned,” Wei Wuxian tapped on his chin, “I once read that there is a way to relieve dreams.” 

“Is that so?”

“There was a mention of an incense burner. The burner sends your consciousness to your dreams.” 

Lan Zhan's ears grew red, “Is that safe?”

“Not sure,” Wei Wuxian kissed the red ear lobe. “It was said to be a failed project. But I'll look into it.” 

“....Mn.” 

---

 

 

Spring festival’s lingered joy and mirth

Feast lanterns have yet to rid. 

Breeze sway your silken tresses

And I stop myself from taking pledges. 

Spring shower adorn you in jewelled beads

Five willows canopy become our rain shed.

Chenqing plays a melody of yearning

Shall this spring pass emotions not naming? 

Sun sets in molten gold. 

My eyes linger to your golden pair,

Like the joy of spring, and the lantern still there.

 

“Is this the spring rain from previous year?” asked Lan Zhan.

“Mn, it is.” 

“What pledges were you about to take?” 

“Must you ask!” Wei Wuxian blushed. 

“A curious mind should ask questions, is that not what you say?” 

Wei Wuxian blushed more. Pinching Lan Zhan's cheeks he complains, “Lan Zhan, you're a bully. You're bullying your Wei Ying.” 

Wei Wuxian huffed after he determined he'd pinched Lan Zhan's cheeks enough. “I wanted to pledge my life to you of course.” He lets the truth be known, truth must always be known.

Lan Zhan kisses Wei Wuxian's warm cheeks, “I'd do too.”

---

 

Pavilion carpeted with magnolia petals

Scent of old books and spring blossoms

Gust of wind waft off incense of sandalwood 

Charcoal ink smothers a brush of rosewood.

Calligraphy as elegant as your gest 

Such beauty might brings shame 

to Prince,Princess, deities whatever you name.

I pluck a magnolia by our window 

Pin it behind your ear, with tendrils of your hair

What majestic contrast, an artist would say

Fair skin, ink black hair, adorning a pale magnolia. 

Which of them is lovelier,

The magnolia or you.  

Magnolia may wither

Never shall you

 

“The lovelier one is obviously Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan scoffed though his ears were blushing red again. 

“This is a poem about you.” Wei Wuxian acted like he wasn't on cloud nine. Lan Zhan thinks of him as the lovelier one. 

---

 

Rain pours down the sage mountains 

Magnolia blossoms dripping along

Soon shall spring be fled.

Pitter patter sounds of rain

Pitter patter sounds my heart. 

You and I share one umbrella 

Our shoulders soaked wet

Mud splatters on our white boots.

You are in no rush to find shelter 

Neither am I.

Mist blankets our path to Jingshi 

My eyes dwell on your petal like ears

Shaded in pink so graceful 

Peony blossoms envious and bashful.

Lush cheeks twinged with rain mist

Flushed pink peony ever persist 

No flower bewitch me 

But you my dear.

I'm ought to be mourning

One more spring spent wondering 

Oh what to name you 

My pitter pattering heart.

Lan Zhan's ears matched the shade of a red peony. He tries to hide them with the curtain of his hair. As mentioned in the poem, Wei Wuxian's eyes dwelled on the ear. Leaning closer he licked on the ear shell down to the soft ear lobe. Lan Zhan's measured breaths waver with a soft bite from Wei Wuxian's teeth.

“Is that why you gave me the peony plants?” Lan Zhan asked through his blush. 

Wei Wuxian smirked. He whispered in those coral pink ears, “Why else would I search nurseries after nurseries to find the perfect shade of ponies.” 

Wei Wuxian kept kissing above the ear, watching how the red blush creeps down to Lan Zhan's neck. “Come to think of it, why were you blushing back then?” 

Lan Zhan had his eyes shut, “Your heart was beating as well.” 

“That's because… well, when it started pouring heavily, you pulled me under the umbrella by my waist. And… you know…” Wei Wuxian pouted with an open ending sentence. Lan Zhan knows his waist is too ticklish, he can't say the words himself. 

“You were soaked wet.” Lan Zhan breathed out now that Wei Wuxian had stopped kissing his ears. 

“Ahhhhh,”  Wei Wuxian wiggled his finger on Lan Zhan’s chest, “watching me soaked does things to you?” 

Lan Zhan avoided his question, “Let me focus.” 

 

---

 

Careful when giving your smile to others

Your smile is a treasure

Bandits want to steal   

Give your smile only to me

It'll be hidden in a place 

Where only I can see.

Bandits ask me of it

Let them search 

wherever they may.

I'll laugh and say, 

Do not look for it

I've buried it in the sky,

Hidden in the flutter of butterflies,

Beneath the ocean,

Above the clouds,

None can see but me.

Do not look for it,

It is hidden in my chest.

Rip apart my heart 

And you'll see how it dies. 

 

Wei Wuxian doesn't say a word. Lan Zhan gives him a smug smile, one that's wicked, one that teases him endlessly. 

“Such is called possessiveness.” Lan Zhan says with a chest full of pride. 

“Poems are sometimes exaggerated,” Wei Wuxian mumbled.

“Is it?” Turning his face to Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan murmured.

Gazing at his lover's mouth, Wei Wuxian pouted, “It's not.” 

Lan Zhan gave him a smile so wide that Wei Wuxian couldn’t stop himself from leaning into a kiss. 

 

---

 

 

Wei Wuxian informed, “This one is from last year's Qixi.” 

 

Magpie forms a bridge of star

Two lovers lives afar,

Lanterns light up evening sky

Have no regrets, wish of my.

What must they speak of

When they meet after a year,

Does one blabbers and the other huffs

Like you and I 

“I'm sure they do.” Lan Zhan huffs.

---

 

You don't like the humidity of summer 

Yet you won't take one layer down

Decency, you say.

Sweat beads trickle down your nape

Yet I don't kiss them off your skin

Decency, I say.

There was no sweat trickling down Lan Zhan's nape when they were reading. Autumn chill was gradually increasing. Yet Wei Wuxian pretended as though sweat had bathed them. He pulled Lan Zhan's collars down to expose his jade smooth nape. Fulfilling his wish to lick the delicate curve, kissing and sucking, marking his lover with a soft bite. 

---

 

How am I supposed to paint your smile in words 

Your smile is like 

a gentle touch on my heart 

a glimmering crescent moon

a whisper of willow

a serene lullaby 

a tender breeze 

a bright twilight 

 a swan's flight 

a calm sea

a cold dwan

a winter sun

a summer rain

a ripple of lake 

a wave crashing on shore

a grass blade quivering in storm

Your smile is 

a metaphor

itself 

.

 

“Wei Ying,” says his beautiful smiling lover boy, “Your smile is thousand times more beautiful than all metaphors in every existing poetry.” 

Wei Wuxian flails his limbs, squeals and whines. How romantic of his beloved, how bold he is to say such sweet words. 

“Lan Zhan! Give a warning next time!”

---

 

Flowers fall and flowers drift away

Ashen clouds cover the blue 

Geese fly to south taking no letters of mine

River flow as it is in its nature

Fragrance of wilted lotuses linger.

Far and wide drifts the waves of lakes

Abonded are the pods of ripe lotus seeds 

Gilted field of paddy and wheat

Returns the celebration of double ninth

Farewell to spring summer and boyhood.

When wild geese returns, 

Will they bring any letters. 

Lan Zhan's fingers graze over the ink smudges at the corner the page,“Some say poems are refined love letters.” 

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian chokes on his spit, “I told you to warn me next time! How can you say something like that and not expect me to lose my breath.” 

“The wild geese  are preparing to return with love letters to you.” 

“Lan Zhan, I swear! I'm going to die!” 

 

---

 

Snow falls 

Beds of cold ice

Knee high

I can barely walk

Treading 

You pick me up

Hate not the snow 

Winter is full of affection 

 

“You alway complain about the knee high snow.” 

“Then you pick me up in your arms.” Wei Wuxian grins, “It's your fault. You've spoiled me.” 

“Wei Ying, I'm warning you before I say something romantic.” 

Wei Wuxian freaks out, “ohmygod- wait, wait, wait–”

“I love spoiling you.” 

Lan Zhan's warning does no good. It makes things worse. Wei Wuxian's heart can never used to this. 

 

---

 

 

Wool woven socks cover my feet

Fur padded coat hoods my head

Snowballs thrown across and beyond 

Giggles and laughters fill up my ears 

You dare hit me with cold cold snow

If I pinch your nose with my cold fingers

It is nothing but playful revenge

Your pink nose tip has secret language 

Kiss me, it says

Tease me, I hear 

I do neither 

Lan Zhan comically hides his nose before Wei Wuxian can pinch them. He lets Wei Wuxian kiss the tip of his nose.

“When your nose gets red, you remind me of bunnies.”

Lan Zhan scrunched his nose like bunnies does, making Wei Wuxian laugh with his whole body.

 

---

 

 

Winter solstice exist for you an I 

A short day of short duty 

A long night of long conversation 

Hearth is warm, but your heart is warmer.

My shelter do you know

I sleep well, 

I rrest well ,

I fear cold no longer.

“Wei Ying, I'm warning you.” 

“AaaaaAaaAAaaaaa” 

“Thankyou for resting well, sleeping well, not fearing the cold.” 

“AaaaaAaaaahahahaaaaaa.”

 

---

 

Like the sun after a long winter 

You came to my life smelling like summer

With a lots of hope in your tiny fists 

In a corner of a nameless street.

A Prince in dazzling white

Riding on a royal pegasus 

Breaking through the dawn

You came into my life 

Changing the course of my fate.

 

“What does summer smell like?” Lan Zhan asks.

Wei Wuxian answers, “Summer smell like ripe fruits. Of loquats and lychees, of young leaves and green grass, a little musky. When I was a kid I didn't know what sandalwood smelled like. To me your scent reminded me of summer.”

Lan Zhan let out a huff, “Good. I thought you were talking about sweat.” 

“Bwahaahahahahaha— Lan Zhan!”

 

---

 

 

You are a poem

Every word you speak turns into poem.

Every sway of your draping sleeves,

Every blink of your eyes

Every strand of your hair

Every fibre of your body

The way you move, the way you glide,

The way you smile, the way you hide,

You are a poem.

I could shower you with all my poems

Yet never come close to your reverence.

 

          Your whole being is poetry. 

 

“You think too highly of me.” Lan Zhan uttered, his ears flushed with tears behind his eyes. 

“Eyyy, it's barely anything. If there was anything more romantic than poetry, I'd dedicate that to you too.”

“You paint me.”

“I do. But do they speak of my feelings as loudly as Poems does.” 

“I…. Maybe it does to people who are less anxious.”

Wei Wuxian laughs. “Right! For us overly anxious people, words are a must, even if it's few.” 

“Wei Ying,” 

“No! Don't say it, wait wait wait—

“I love you.”

 

---

 

 

Stay my dear, won't you?

Please don't turn your gaze away.

Your unspoken words break me apart,

drown me in misery. 

Your cold eyes stops my heart

I die everyday without death ever visiting me.

 

If you tenderly tell me to,

I'll stop wandering around your shadows

I'll stop chasing your light

I'll stop weaving cotton clouds

I'll stop plucking qin music 

I'll stop knocking at your doors

I dare not cross Jingshi threshold 

Nor do I dare be held in your arms.

 

“What? don't look at me like that!” Wei Wuxian hid behind his hands. “I wrote it when you were avoiding me– I thought you were avoiding me. I know we had a stupid misunderstanding. You can stop glaring at me.” 

Lan Zhan kissed him deeply. He didn’t stop till their lungs were warning them for air. “Never stop.” He said, red faced. Panting for air he declared, “My eyes will search for you even if they were blind. I'd go mute, rip my tongue out before telling you to go away. So please, Never go far from my arms.” 

---

 

I know,

You like to sleep with a weight above you,

I want to be your weighted blanket.

You don't like when crowds bump into you,

I want to save you from crashing into people.

You don't like loud noise,

I want to cover your ears for you.

You like sounds pleasing to the mind,

I want to create music for you.

You dislike long conversation with strangers, 

I want to distract strangers from bothering you.

You prefer reading over writing,

I want to write stories for you to read.

You get uncomfortable when the tailor takes your measurements, 

I want to learn tailoring to cease your uneasiness.

You get tried if you are forced to talk too much,

I want to be your words.

You find it hard to peel sugar canes with your teeth,

I want to peel sugar canes, cut them into small pieces for you.

I know,

You skim your fingers across the strings before playing your qin.

Your hair smells of tuberose.

You lick the tanghulu before biting it.

You think okra seeds look like lizard eggs.

You have a habit of playing with your pendant tassel.

You copy bunnies scrunching their noses. 

You hum classical songs while practising calligraphy. 

You want to be a music instructor in the future. 

You mourn the death of every bunny.

You often dream of your mother.

I know,

Your favourite fruit is sweet peach.

Your favourite flower is ironically Lotus.

Your favourite vegetable is eggplants. 

Your favourite colour is silver, one that shimmers.

Your favourite animal is bunnies and rabbits.

Your favourite season is winter.

I know,

You like pomegranate as juice over eating the fruit. 

You like to keep things organised, from small to big.

You like your tea brewed into fine powder, adding a small pinch of sugar as self indulgement.

You like your tofu sweet, unlike me who dips it in spice.

You like the smell of cinnamon more than cloves

You like literature more than maths.

You like cotton clothes more than silk ones.

And I know,

You like me more than anyone.

 

“Mn, all correct.” Lan Zhan says peppering kisses all over his face. 

 

---

 

 

Cosmos knows

How I seek to flourish 

under your mortal gaze.

Cosmos knows

How I covet my desire 

to be with you in every step.

Cosmos knows 

My unconditional longing 

for you.

Cosmos knew 

Bazillion years before 

my soul and your soul 

were to be bound. 

 

Did you know,

You were a tree 

In your previous life.

I was a nameless bird

taking shelter in your canopy 

Did you love my chirping back then too?

My wild heart knew

in this vast universe 

there's a tree that's you.

 

Cosmos knows

Since the beginning of time

In all our past lives

I've been dancing around you

and you becoming my

Warmest, safest 

Sanctuary.

 

“I like this one the most so far.” Lan Zhan murmured. “I'll frame it.” 

“OKAY THAT'S TOO MUCH!”

---

 

The feelings in my heart has acquired a name

A word so divine I fear to utter even to my ears

I turn my feelings into poems, 

pour out my emotions through ink on paper.

The vague words I scribe stay lost to oblivion 

My hands tremble writing a character of few strokes.

So I write your name in place of the feelings of my heart.

Is it still not gullible? 

 

“It is now.” Lan Zhan says.

“After I've been through hell.” 

“I appreciate your resilience.” 

“Oh please.” 

 

---

 

Your eyes shine like the north star guiding me home.

Your skin as delicate as the first snowflake 

Your voice a syrupy melody like floral honey

You are full of mystery yet I read you like an open book.

You're disciplined and tame yet stubborn on your feet.

You ignite me in winter, shiver me in summer. 

You take my melancholy from autumn, bereft me in spring.

Songs of your qin crush me like overripe grapes

A tender touch of your sweetness brings me back into shape. 

I run out of metaphor to portray your beauty 

Are you a man of blood and flesh?

Why am I afraid to hold you in my arms?

 

Wei Wuxian was literally sitting on Lan Zhan’s lap while reading it. He laughed at the end line. Why was he ever afraid to hold Lan Zhan, who eagerly waits to encircle his arms around him.

 

---

 

I worship you like a faithful devotee

Do you receive my prayers?

What need is there for chiromancy 

My fate is intertwined with yours.

Sunlight, moonlight, starlight, candlelight 

Bright are the days when you are my sight.

Unconditional is this devotion,

Desires hidden in clasped palm.

By mistake if my desires seeps out to your altar

Will you forgive this humble one?

“What desires, may I know.” Lan Zhan teases.

“No, you're mean.” Wei Wuxian groaned but kissed the mean boy passionately.

 

---

 

“These are after this year's Qixi,” Wei Wuxian tries to hide the page. “You don't have to read these.” 

Lan Zhan still reads them. 

 

Whether I say it or not 

You know me whole.

Beneath the mountains 

of chattering and of laughter 

where I ache and pain. 

Whether I say it or not,

You know where 

Yearning rests and longing rains.

 

---

 

 

I take two steps forward 

Walk back three feet on my stride.

Like a wounded shelterless boy

I timidly long for your embrace.

A heart lost in ocean

twisting and turning 

refusing to resurface.

might I slip over my feet

and fall in your arms.

I'm a wounded shelterless boy

I bitterly long for your hugs.

 

---

 

Earth is too bright 

It hurt my eyes.

Bees buzz too loud 

Shall I cry?

Sky cries in the name of rain 

On my behalf.

Sickness or illness, neither is true

Blue calms me not.

Heaven and earth of a distance 

Though we sit side by side. 

.

---

 

 

Heart harbours fallen leaves.

Red oriole cry for the loss its mate.

Poison abyss echoes my name

No hand will reach a second time .

Bare fangs prey over head 

Standing on a single plank bridge.

I neither walk ahead or back 

Dwelling on a fall

Hoping to be caught

By one that always did.

 

With the end of poems Lan Zhan shuts the book.“I always will.” He says hugging Wei Wuxian tightly. “I'll always catch my Wei Ying.” 

They lay down on the porch cuddling each other. Lan Zhan carefully shoves the snack tray inside, might they knock it off. The back porch of Jingshi is small in width. When they cuddle, they've to carefully be on top of each other. Lan Zhan rests above Wei Wuxian, planting kisses on his cheeks, eyelids, forehead, on the ribbon, on his nose, on his jaws, on his neck, and on the dip between his collar bones, then on his lips– deeply, passionately.

Wei Wuxian giggles, reminding Lan Zhan not to suck on places that are hard to hide. The fervent kiss and the warmth of each other's body arouses both of them. Wei Wuxian reminds, they have to join the dining hall for dinner. If they do get hyped up, they won't be able to join the hall properly. More than that, Wei Wuxian has found a liking to keep Lan Zhan on the edge. He finds it amusing to see how long Lan Zhan can last without taking care of himself. Lan Zhan's devastating look of impatience fills Wei Wuxian's heart with unexpected delight. 

Wei Wuxian anticipates the night.

 

Notes:

Most of the poems are inspired by Li Qinghao
The first onion poem was inspired by Pablo Neruda.
The "you belong to poetry" was inspired by Nizar Qabbani. The "do not look for it" one was also inspired by him.
The, "I'll stop" one was inspired by a hindi song named "phero na najariya" amazing song btw.

And, for the geese returning with letters, it is said that migratory geese carries letters, specially love letters, from North to South.
There was a smiliar something about five willow canopy being a love spot, but I can't find the context anymore.

Chapter 48: Solution of problems comes with a cost

Notes:

SEEEEGGSSSS ૮₍ ˶>ᴗ<˶  ₎ა  

Double ninth festival was less than a week away. In the small span of time a lot happened in Wei Wuxian's life. He doesn’t regret much of it, not the final push of his heart. Even so, he'd have liked it if Jiang Yanli wasn't suffering because of him. He had tried to contact her. She didn't reply. He tried to contact Jiang Cheng, but he didn't respond either. Nie Huaisang looked into it, he found very little information. All Wei Wuxian knows is that Yunmeng hasn't seen the Jiang siblings leave their home. 

Whispers and rumors about his betrothal with the sect heiress hadn't died yet. From what Lan Zhan said, the initial news was that Jiang Zongzhu proposed Wei Wuxian to marry his daughter and live with them. Jiang sect's mistress was mad at her daughter for liking Wei Wuxian. There was no mention of Wei Wuxian denying the proposal or how he acted with the sect leaders. No mention of Yu Ziyuan’s wrath or how she treated her daughter. As for what happened to the rumors next, he doesn't want to hear. 

Wei Wuxian shared everything that had happened in Yunmeng Jiang. From the disciples fearing him, then liking him, to his Jiang Fengmian’s yearning for his father. He showed Lan Zhan the clarity bell. It was supposed to belong to his father. Jiang Fengmian giving it to Wei Wuxian, in a way was an invitation to join their sect as their family. Wei Wuxian didn't know what to do with that. Returning it back was as terrible as keeping it near his sight.

He gave it to Lan Zhan in the end. 

 

Things went back to normal again. He joined classes, trained, meditated, practiced, patrolled. He rejoined the undead body studying. His interest and curiosity for the unknown rebirthed with new vigor. Oftentimes in case-study sessions, his mentors would find him smiling foolishly. “Don't smile foolishly!” They'd say hitting his head with a scroll, assigning him with handstand copying.

Wei Wuxian couldn’t control his smiles anymore. His mind replays the time he spent with Lan Zhan. He thinks about their kisses, about something cute Lan Zhan did, or something funny that happened between their intimate time, and his lips would automatically pull themselves in a grin. He couldn’t un-grin even if he wanted to.

Lan Zhan, the one behind his misstep, was assigned to look after his punishment. Every Time he'd look at Wei Wuxian upside down, he'd give Wei Wuxian a smug smile.

“It's your fault.” Lan Zhan says. He tickles Wei Wuxian in his handstanding whenever it's just the two of them in the hallway. “If you fall you have to start copying from the start.” That jerk would challenge.

Wei Wuxian hates how he can't even be mad at Lan Zhan and his stupid challenges.

---

“Not done yet?” Asked Lan Zhan as he walked in Wei Wuxian's dorm room through the windows. It was late afternoon, Wei Wuxian was studying the case of sealed waterborne abyss. It had been months, the Lan sect hasn't succeeded in removing the waterborne abyss from biling river. They've sealed the river, closed of the riverways, and the common people… well, they are not pleased about it. It's hard to remove an abyss from its nature, harder to completely clean it off. Wei Wuxian thought of ways he can help but fell short on many places. On top of that, the people around Gusu kept requesting Wei Wuxian's assistance with transport that the abyss blockage has caused. They knows of all the Lan disciples Wei Wuxian won't turn them down, even if it's for just a copper coin he'll help by no means.

“Wait a moment.” Wei Wuxian mumbled without looking at Lan Zhan. His mind was focused on finding information about abyss resentment. 

“How long?” Lan Zhan asked. He placed a plate of persimmons on the study table, cutting them with a paring knife. They've decided to finish their work in the afternoon, so they can spend the night together and go to bed as early as possible…. for doing stuff. But that doesn't mean they'll spend the entirety of the afternoon reading and writing after a whole day of class study and duties. 

“I'm almost done.” Wei Wuxian wasn't anywhere near done. He kept turning page after page, scrolls after scrolls, looking for specific topics. Wuming helped him search.

Nowadays, Wuming spends most of his time snuggling and napping in Wei Wuxian's room. He comes out when the sun is bright, bathes in the sun rays while Wei Wuxian practices his swordsmanship with his peers. It reminds Wei Wuxian of a lazy old tomcat. He just hopes the old part is not real. Wuming is a…. undefined celestial creature. He isn't supposed to age. But he was aging right before Wei Wuxian's eyes, his scales were white, his fur was graying, his nails weren't as sharp as they used to be, the horns looked blunt and dull. He just hopes and hopes.

 

“Not done yet?” Lan Zhan asked again, pushing a piece of persimmon in his mouth. 

“Just a bit.” Wei Wuxian answered with the fruit in his mouth. 

“You've been saying that for an hour now.” 

Wei Wuxian has a tendency to forget about time when he is intensely focused on something. He noticed the fruit plate that was once full, contained less than half of what Lan Zhan brought. Wei Wuxian hasn't paid Lan Zhan the attention he deserved. Feeling guilty he caressed Lan Zhan's cute pouting face, bringing him near to kiss. He says,  “Lan Zhan sweetheart, be a little more patient.”

“I am patient.” Lan Zhan's pouting mouth said. 

Wei Wuxian rubbed his thumb on Lan Zhan’s lower lip. “A little more would help Wei gege.” 

Lan Zhan's brows tighten, his pretty ears grew red, it does whenever Wei Wuxian calls himself Wei gege, or whenever he calls Lan Zhan er-gege. “Fine,” he says, shifting himself to rest on Wei Wuxian’s lap. His body lays on the floor while his head rests on Wei Wuxian's thigh, face burrowing in Wuxian's stomach.

“Good boy,” Wei Wuxian praises watching how mesmerizingly the pink ears grow a shade deeper. Wei Wuxian absentmindedly runs his fingers through Lan Zhan's hair as he flicks through the piles and piles of books. 

Lan Zhan stris and moves, tugging at his sleeves. People will never believe how impatient this sweet one gets at times like this. Wei Wuxian let's Lan Zhan do whatever he wanted. Lan Zhan rolled on the floor, went under the bed, pulled something from there- most probably a book, silently read the book with his back leaning on the bed.

Wei Wuxian wondered what interesting book did Lan Zhan found for him to go that still.  He couldn’t remember what book was kept under the bed.  

What book was it, Wei Wuxian pondered  as he glanced at Lan Zhan's direction. The shell of his ears were in a  deep shade of red. What book could make Lan Zhan blush that deeply— “oh fuck Lan Zhan!” He tried to snatch the book as soon as he realized what it held. The pornograph he took from Nie Huaisang was kept hidden under his bed. Wei Wuxian completely forgot about its existence.

“You had something like this and didn't tell me?” Lan Zhan pushed him away, keeping the book far from Wei Wuxian's reach. 

“I swear it's not mine. Stop watching that!” Wei Wuxian fought to get that shameless thing out of Lan Zhan's hand. 

“Not yours but you have it?” Lan Zhan fought back, keeping that thing secured in his hands.

“Why are you fighting with me!”

“I'm not.” 

“Stop strangling me then! Let me go!” 

 

 

They settled down, resting on Wei Wuxian's small bed. The pile of books and scrolls left abandoned on the table. Wei Wuxian tightened his ponytail while he explained who the real owner was, how the book came to be in his room. “And again, I swear I didn't look at it again. One page was too much for me.” 

Lan Zhan stares at him dubiously. He totally does not believe Wei Wuxian. 

“Lan Zhan, believe me.” Wei Wuxian begged, exhausted.

Lan Zhan opened the book again. Showing Wei Wuxian a page he says, “We should try this.” 

Wei Wuxian glanced over the page. As expected, there were two men in an extremely intimate position. One was lying on his back, another was hovering above him on all fours. The man below had his legs spread so widely that it looked uncomfortable. What was more uncomfortable looking was the fact that the man above had his thing inside the man below’s ass hole. 

“Th-thats where it goes!?” Wei Wuxian squawked pointing at the picture- the hole precisely. His heart was bursting and mind was whirling in all directions. All these times Wei Wuxian thought two men could only get intimate kissing, sucking and touching each other's jewels. The fact that their jewels could go somewhere like That completely beyond and beyond of his imagination.

“Apparently.” Lan Zhan nods his head. He didn’t look as surprised or terrified as Wei Wuxian was.

Lan Zhan wants to try that? That's how two guys do it? Wei Wuxian knew how a man and woman does it. Woman had a place that is said to be stretchable for getting the baby out. But two men? There's no way a dick could fit in that hole! Is that even pleasurable? How does that feel good?

Wei Wuxian tried not to sound too nerve wrecked, “hahaha, Lan Zhan. These types of books are full of blasphemy. Just think, how can that even go in there?” 

Lan Zhan frowned like he didn't get Wei Wuxian's point. He scanned the book harder to see if there was any mention of blasphemy or warnings of do not try at home. “We can try and see.” 

“How can it go in!?” Wei Wuxian was shaken out. As if Lan Zhan pointing at drawings of naked men's ass was not enough, Wuming comes around whispering, “They use fingers or thin phallic objects to stretch the place.” 

Wei Wuxian wailed and covered his ears. He didn't need to know that information. His wailing and covering did not save him from hearing Wuming.  “They also use lubricants to slide in easily.” He said, sounding like a teacher. “Most available lubricant is oil. But aloe gel is more hygienic.” 

“STOP! stop! Stop! I don't want to hear that!” 

At the mean time, Lan Zhan starts reading the passages above the art. Saying all kinds of lewd things like inserting, moaning, feeling good.

Wei Wuxian was still wailing at the top of his lungs, “Don't say that. Stop! What the hell!” his whole body was on fire out of embarrassment. He didn’t feel that embarrassed when he sucked Lan Zhan's dick. It was awful.

“Lan Wangji!” Wei Wuxian yelled when Lan Zhan wouldn't stop. P icking Lan Zhan up he pushed Lan Zhan out his window shouting, “Why don't you listen to me.”

Lan Zhan landed on the ground on his bare feet. He looked up at Wei Wuxian utterly discomposed with an incredulous look. His eyes averted to the rows of windows beside Wei Wuxian's window. The disciples of the dorm peeked out through their windows to see why Wei Wuxian was shouting. They gaped at Wei Wuxian just as speechless as Lan Zhan.

Wei Wuxian didn't think that far. He forgot there were others who could see and hear them. He regretted throwing Lan Zhan out of his room. It felt like he kicked his wife out of his house. The said wife, was not concerned of others eyes on him, or his bare feet. He stared at Wei Wuxian with his big bright golden eyes pleading like a wet cat wanting to be let in.

Wei Wuxian glared at the peeping disciples. They all panicked and shut their windows with a loud thud. Wei Wuxian didn't want Lan Zhan to get back in either. He was still mad at Lan Zhan. He carefully threw Lan Zhan's boots back to him and said in a less angry tone, “Go back to your house.” He pouted and added, “I'll meet you at dinner.” 

 

He shut his windows as well.

 

“You too!” He scolded Wuming. “Not a word!” 

 

Wei Wuxian tried to get back to his research to distract himself. Not a single word got through his head. He couldn’t progress at all. His mind went back to the image of page Lan Zhan showed. It is easy to imagine himself in that place, Lan Zhan inserting himself in Wei Wuxian. Curse his vivid imagination! Wei Wuxian could imagine writhing and whimpering beneath Lan Zhan.  

He gave the idea a deep long thought. His first thought about sucking dick was similar, he was repulsed by it at first. When he tried, he ended up liking sucking Lan Zhan's cock. So maybe, he'll like that too. Even if he couldn’t get how, having something that big in him, would feel good.

Dinner was as silent as ever. Lan Zhan sat beside him, secretly giving bits of corn in Wei Wuxian's soup. Like nothing happened. Wei Wuxian red faced, ate silently. The disciples had giggled among themselves.  New story to gossip about, Wei Wuxian kicked out Lan Wangji out of his room, what great drama! Disciples who weren't present at that moment whined at the loss of missing such fun experience. Lan Xichen was staring at them skeptically with a teasing grin wiggling eye brows. Wei Wuxian ignored him.

 

 

“Coming?” Lan Zhan asked on their way out  of the dining hall. 

It felt really weird to go to Jingshi then. Wei Wuxian knows what waits for him the moment he crosses the threshold of Jingshi. After returning from Yunmeng, Wei Wuxian had done a lot of shameless things with Lan Zhan in his bed. Those things felt innocent trifling compared to what they were about to do. It'd be the ultimate form of shamelessness. To secretly sneak in the second young master's house, to crawl on his bed with no clothes on, to present himself to be deflowered…

He's going to be deflowered. Wei Wuxian's blood boils in his veins. He is going to lose his virginity. 

 

It's fine because he's losing his virginity to Lan Zhan. 

 

 

Nothing out of the ordinary happens in Jingshi. Lan Zhan helps Wei Wuxian take off his robes and ribbons, in a not not so erotic way. They get comfortable in their inner robes, sipping tea in the nest of warm blankets. They kiss each other a lot, slow kisses, soft kisses, deep kisses, then passionate kisses, kisses that involve biting and sucking. Then Lan Zhan sucks   Wei Wuxian's soul through his dick. They cuddle. Lan Zhan pulls him in his lap and rubs their dicks together, Wei Wuxian helps Lan Zhan jerk off. Then they cuddle. Lan Zhan wipes themselves clean. Then they cuddle again, drowsing off to sleep. 

Nothing happened.

Wei Wuxian didn't lose his virginity.

He was hoping to do things from the porn book. 

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whispered. After Lan Zhan opened his eyes, Wei Wuxian added, “Don't you… Aren't we…. You said… I thought— oh god damn it!” Wei Wuxian paused, cursing his inability to utter the correct words. Wei Wuxian didn't know what other ways to word it. So he ends up saying, “Aren't we going to fuck?”

Lan Zhan jolted hearing Wei Wuxian's vulgar usage of words. He also struggled to form a coherent sentence, repeating the same few words of. “I thought…. You said…you didn't want to.” 

“You said you wanted to try.” 

Lan Zhan frowned, “You got mad at me.” 

They fall in a loop of whispered banter. Reminding each other what they wanted. 

“I want it now.” Wei Wuxian said, “Do you?” 

Lan Zhan nodded solemnly. He got up from the bed immediately. Lighting up few candles around their bedroom. The candle light allows Wei Wuxian to take in the view of Lan Zhan's soft bare body walking around with grace and elegance. Lan Zhan returned to the bed in their warm blanket with the book of erotic art he stole from him. He let Wei Wuxian choose what position to try. Position wasn't a big matter, the main concern was to get that thing in.

Wei Wuxian briefs on what few words of wisdom Wuming told him. The techniques of stretching the hole and usage of lubricant. Subconsciously, Wei Wuxian knows he should have asked Wuming more about  cut-sleeve sex tips and tricks. Despite that, it'd also feel weird to ask about sex tips to someone who's been like a father to him. It'd be the same as to ask shufu about sex, how horrible of a thought to have.

“You should do it then.” Lan Zhan says. 

Wei Wuxian failed to understand what he meant.

Lan Zhan licked lips, shyly and slowly clarifying “You can get in, I'll take it.” He pauses, swallowing hard. “Since you are more aware about it.” 

“Lan Zhan, I'm as blank as you are.” Wei Wuxian was baffled. All the time he was thinking about taking Lan Zhan's dick in his ass, he forgot the roles could be reversed. They are both men, they have the same things. “But what if I hurt you?”

Lan Zhan repeated the same thing, “What if I hurt you?” 

They get stuck in another loop of what ifs. What if you hurt yourself? What if you bleed, how are we going to explain it to daifu? What if this happens and what if that happens. 

“It'll be morning if we continue this.” Lan Zhan exasperated, huffing through his nose. He walked off to his low desk, rummaging through the drawers. Once he returns, Wei Wuxian sees different vials of oils of different colors and fragrance. They are all the hair oils Lan Zhan uses. He gives them to Wei Wuxian for inspection while he clears out the bed space removing the blankets aside. He placed his knees on either side of Wei Wuxian's hips, sitting on the soft flesh of Wei Wuxian’s bent legs. “This one?” he murmurs, taking the vial from Wei Wuxian's hand. Wei Wuxian didn't choose anything, he was too shocked to even think properly.

The good thing about having Lan Zhan near is that Wei Wuxian isn't required  to think at all. Lan Zhan controls the reins of everything he is capable of.

Wei Wuxian was seated on the bed gaping speechless as a mute person. He saw Lan Zhan lathering oil on Wei Wuxian's fingers, then guiding it below his buttocks. Once Wei Wuxian's oil leathered fingers found the cleavage of his buttocks, Lan Zhan purred with a shiver. He let Wei Wuxian's hand go. “Do it,” he said, holding Wei Wuxians shoulders for better leverage.

“....okay,” Wei Wuxian obeyed. He focused his vision on Lan Zhan’s face to notice the change of expressions. When Wei Wuxian wiggled in one finger inside Lan Zhan's hole, there was a slight crease in Lan Zhan’s brows. Wei Wuxian asked immediately, “Hurts?” 

Lan Zhan shook his head. 

“You have to tell me when it hurts.” 

“It does not hurt.” Lan Zhan gave an expression of annoyance. He moved his lips, deciding a better way to enunciate his feelings, “It's…. unique.” 

“Unique, I see.” Wei Wuxian coo’ed to tease Lan Zhan. Having gained a little confidence, Wei Wuxian spread Lan Zhan's ass cheeks to freely access the place. “Your buttocks are softer than they look, you know.” 

Lan Zhan scoffed abashed by Wei Wuxian's teasing. “Focus!” He grumbled.

“Yes, yes, I'm focusing.” Wei Wuxian smiled, kissing the part of Lan Zhan's chest near to his lips. Wei Wuxian never needed to have a detailed instruction to solve a problem at hand. He's a curious mind with instant solutions. While wiggling a finger in the tight hole, he figured out what to do next. To stretch the place, and wow it's really stretchable, he puts in another finger as an experiment. The way Lan Zhan's skin shivered with the entrance of another finger affirmed that he was heading the correct direction. Wei Wuxian fiddled with his fingers side to side, worming in, twisting to get in further. As a flute player Wei Wuxian's fingers were elongated, he was skilled in controlling his fingers. Moving them in opposite directions to stretch the place more. As soon as Wei Wuxian's fingers were entirely inside the hole, Lan Zhan reacted bizarrely. He didn’t make a sound but his brows creased and the grip on Wei Wuxian's shoulders hardened. Most importantly, Lan Zhan's cock twitched in a showy manner. Wei Wuxian noted it. Pulling out his fingers he immediately thrusted in with a greater force. The later reaction was more satisfying. Lan Zhan hissed out biting his lips, his cock jerked to get Wei Wuxian's attention. 

“Feels good?” Wei Wuxian grined. He repeated the motions, “Does it feel good when I do this?” 

Having been fucked by Wei Wuxian's fingers, Lan Zhan was getting red and reder. His nails on Wei Wuxian's shoulder was digging through the skin. Even when his body was starting to tremble he refused to let out a sound, refusing Wei Wuxian of his satisfaction.

Wei Wuxian took it as a challenge. He pulled out his fingers, giving the hole a small break before he weaved three of his fingers together and pushed inside. As soon as the three fingers stretched out the tightness, Lan Zhan failed to keep himself from letting out a pained whimper. 

“What was that?” Wei Wuxian grinned widely, “Was that the sound of your pleasure? Does it feel so good to have my fingers in you?” 

Lan Zhan exhaled loudly. Stopping Wei Wuxian's hand from teasing him, he said, “Enough.”

For a moment Wei Wuxian thought Lan Zhan was hurting. But his doubt was soon replaced with amazement just as Lan Zhan shifted himself closer, aligning Wei Wuxian's erected cock near the hole. “Enough stretching.” Lan Zhan exasperated breathily. 

Wei Wuxian had already come two times for the night. First, when Lan Zhan sucked him. Second, when Lan Zhan jerked them off together. Though he's come two times, his dick sure was energetic to have all the pleasure for itself. No concerns for the owner's body.

Precum was leaking through already, Wei Wuxian didn't care to add more foreign lubricants to slide in. “Jokes aside,” Wei Wuxian solemnly said, spreading Lan Zhan's ass with one hand, holding his cock with another, “tell me if it hurts.” 

 

Wei Wuxian could feel the folds of Lan Zhan's rim accepting his wet erection head. As soon as he pushed one third of his cock head in he felt as though his soul was entering another world. Wei Wuxian hissed, pushing himself to get in the tight clutches of Lan Zhan's ass. Enveloped inside the warm flesh his cock throbbed in pleasure even though he wasn't even half in. Wei Wuxian rested his head on Lan Zhan’s chest as he both enjoyed and struggled being inside. Lan Zhan wasn't hissing or moaning, but the strong trembling grip on his shoulders were no less equivalent to his loudness.  Wei Wuxian tried to push himself more but the position wasn't helping him. His genius problem solving mind was too busy enjoying the warmth of Lan Zhan's ass to figure out a better way to proceed with fucking.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian babbled, plaintly repeating the name being all whiny. "Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan."

Lan Zhan was no less educated in reading Wei Wuxian. He lowered himself to get more of Wei Wuxian’s cock in himself. Biting back his own hisses with nails tearing Wei Wuxian's shoulders. Considering the strength of Lan Zhan's grip,  Wei Wuxian was sure he's going to have his shoulder blades broken by the end of the night. His own spine was giving up holding himself upright. 

 

Having no choice, Wei Wuxian secured Lan Zhan's head and lower back, slowly shifting themselves to change their positions. Wei Wuxian got on his knees, lowering Lan Zhan on the mattress as he carefully placed Lan Zhan's head on the pillow. Lan Zhan quickly grabbed onto Wei Wuxian, encircling his hands and legs around Wei Wuxian's neck and waist. 

With the new position Wei Wuxian poised above Lan Zhan, he could look at his lover eye to eye. He could see how beautiful Lan Zhan looked beneath him, taking his cock as willingly as earth accepted rain. Lan Zhan's flustered expression full of shameless desires.

Wei Wuxian forgot about the world around him, or what he was doing. At that moment all he wanted was to kiss that expression Lan Zhan was making, kiss him until breathing felt like a second choice.

Lan Zhan pulled him closer, his locked calves and ankles rubbing against the sensitive area of Wei Wuxian’s waist, making Wei Wuxian aware of his cock in him. Wei Wuxian rested his head beside Lan Zhan's after tenderly nuzzling their noses. He pushed in again slowly as his eyes took in the view of Lan Zhan's changes in expression. He reads the lines between Lan Zhan's brows curved like a sharp scimitar, the small wave-like creases on his temple, how pleasantly his eyelids flutter like wings of damselflies. Wei Wuxian memorized the enchanting color around his cheeks and ears. He had learned by heart the coral pink shade of Lan Zhan's lips, and he can revise every gradually deepening shade when Lan Zhan bites them to stop himself from making wanton sounds.

“Don't stop yourself,” Wei Wuxian says panting as he thrust himself deeper into Lan Zhan. He whispered near his lover's warm ears, “Let me hear you, my sweetheart. How will I know you like me in you? Can you tell how this moment is going to be engraved in my mind for the rest of my life. I feel so good in you. The best. I don't even know what I'm saying. You're so warm, so tight. My cock squeezed in your ass. You're going to squeeze the juice out of me. How I wish to write erotic poetry about us like this.”

Lan Zhan let out a muffled whimper with Wei Wuxian's slow thrusts. He was almost all the way in. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Does it feel good?Does it feel good to be stretched from the insides?  Do you like being fucked by me? Aren't you going to tell me to fuck you rough and fast? Or do you like it slow and steady like this?” 

Lan Zhan pressed his heels on the flesh of Wei Wuxian's ass as he grabbed a fistful of his hair, yanking Wei Wuxian hard enough to shut him for a small while. “Fast.” He breathed out in the quietest volume Wei Wuxian has heard him speak so far. 

“Hmmm? What was that? I could not hear you. Speak precise– ack!” Wei Wuxian recited the rule only to get another angry yank of hair. If Wei Wuxian gets bald, Lan Zhan is the one to blame. 

“Faster.” 

“Yes! Understood!” Wei Wuxian playfully answers before increasing his thrusting force. One hard thrust got himself fully inside Lan Zhan, bestowing him the perfect reaction. Lan Zhan moaned out a cry, squeezing himself harder around Wei Wuxian. 

“Was that good cry or bad cry?” Wei Wuxian asked just to make sure. 

Lan Zhan nodded at first, which wasn't a good answer for Wei Wuxian's anxious brain. When Lan Zhan realized he has to verbalize his feelings for Wei Wuxian to understand, he rasped out very quietly to his ears, “Good.”

“Good? Sure?” 

“Do it again,” Lan Zhan added with a clearer mind. 

Wei Wuxian did as asked. He pulled himself out of Lan Zhan's hole, not entirely but enough to create a potential to thrust himself in completely. He lunged himself in with a force greater than before and heard Lan Zhan beautifully whimper with an arching back. Wei Wuxian repeated the process again, gradually increasing his force each time. And with each increased force, Lan Zhan's coquettish moans grew more and more carnal like a wild animal gritting its teeth to bite on its mate. His limbs that were encircling Wei Wuxian fell limp on the bed. His overlooked cock flared red, twitching with a pool of white on his stomach. Lan Zhan tried to pleasure himself, rubbing his cock with his wobbly‐trembling hand.

“Eyyyy! What do you think you are doing, Zhan‐er.” Wei Wuxian adoringly scolded getting a hold of that sneaky hand. Kissing the knuckles of that hand he smugly murmured, “Isn't Wei gege enough to pleasure you?” 

Lan Zhan looked everywhere except him. His whole body blushed red under the candlelight. The corner of his eyes were red withholding tears like someone was bullying him. 

“Look at me, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian lightly nudged Lan Zhan's chin to make him face Wei Wuxian. His lover looked at him with emotions too big to hold in. He breathed out,  gaping to speak something, pausing and failing to say anything but soft cries. Wei Wuxian smirked. It's not always necessary to talk about everything. They are connected by heart and soul. And Wei Wuxian knows what his soulmate wants. 

Yet, Wei Wuxian makes it excruciatingly slow just so he can tease Lan Zhan a bit more. He himself was on the edge, his erection warming inside Lan Zhan. But he refused to release until he made Lan Zhan moan out his name. He grabbed the red ribbon from the pile of blankets, briefing on what he's about to do with it.

This particular act was not included in the cut-sleeve pornograph. Wei Wuxian saw it in the other book that Nie Huaisang forced him to read. Back then he thought it was extremely rude of the man to tie up the woman's hands. Wei Wuxian was curious too, how it is supposed to be good. He gets it now.

“I'm going to tie your hands. They are disobedient, aren't they?” Lan Zhan wetly whined to protest Wei Wuxian's sudden change in tone. He sluggishly fought Wei Wuxian as he pinned Lan Zhan’s wrists together. Though Lan Zhan's arms are muscular, being fucked in the ass for the first time has punched out the strength off him. Wei Wuxian easily pinned his hands together, tied them cutely with an easily undoable knot. “Be good, Zhan-er.” Wei Wuxian caressed his dear lover's warm soft cheeks. “Your hands are disobedient but you are not, right? You are a good boy. Be good for Wei gege.” He gave a quick peck on the tip of Lan Zhan's nose, “Let Wei gege fuck you.” 

Saying so, Wei Wuxian started thrusting in and out at a rhythmic pace. Each thrust made sure to get in fully with the purpose of achieving Lan Zhan's coarse moans. He put an extra effort to care for Lan Zhan's spilling cock, pressing the slit of his head smothering cum all over his length and the sac that's so full of his seeds.

Lan Zhan's tied hands thrashed mildly with the double stimulation. He attempted to cover his face with tied hands, muffling his moans. Wei Wuxian's hands were too busy holding Lan Zhan for thrusting in and stroking his dick to remove those unruly hands from his mouth. He plunged in harder, reminding, “Be a good boy, Lan Zhan. Call me Wei gege. If you don't listen to me, I'll fuck you harder. I'll fill you with my seeds. You'll end up carrying my babies.”

“Wei Ying!” Lan Zhan groaned but it came out more as a pleading cry. Wei Wuxian won, whatever it was, he made Lan Zhan moan out his name. Out of triumph, Wei Wuxian excitedly used extra force in his next thrust. It made Lan Zhan arch his back in a delicate crescent curve, spilling out hard on Wei Wuxian's stroking hand. Watching that Lan Zhan had come, Wei Wuxian couldn’t stop himself from coming as well.

 

For a blissful period, they rest on each other. Hearing nothing but clamoring chimes of bells and birds. Neither of them cared about the sticky mess they were. Wei Wuxian listens to Lan Zhan's heart, thumping loudly beneath his ribs. His cock, although softened, was still inside Lan Zhan's hole. His body was too beat up to move a finger.  “I came in you.” Wei Wuxian dreamily murmured, breathing meditatively. “What if it really makes you pregnant!” 

Lan Zhan's heartbeat spiked. He was so quiet that  Wei Wuxian started to worry. He glanced at his lover at once and noticed that he had covered his face with his hands, hands that are still tied together. “Ah- shii–” Wei Wuxian stopped before cursing out. He slowly moved to untie his beloved's wrists. The snow white delicate skin reddened with the silk ribbon’s friction. As Wei Wuxian moved their cum filled cock-hole friction squelched loudly, making both the boys more embarrassed than what they actually did. With more abashedness, Wei Wuxian pulled his dick out, red faced he watched his cum trickle out from Lan Zhan's hole, rolling down to the bed sheet.

“So,” Wei Wuxian said timidly. Lan Zhan hadn't moved his hands from his face. Wei Wuxian tried not to sound uncertain, “How was it…” asking  felt more awkward. The more Lan Zhan remained silent the more his anxiety grew, “I mean, what do you think– how do you feel? Really, how do you feel? Hurt? Uncomfortable? Do you need anything?” 

Lan Zhan stirred. Before Wei Wuxian could blink twice, he was pulled in a tight sticky hug. Lan Zhan twined his limbs around Wei Wuxian's body, pressing kisses wherever it was convenient. At one point of receiving kisses, the pit in Wei Wuxian's stomach disappeared and he was then giggling unstoppably. After kissing Wei Wuxian's mouth deeply, Lan Zhan said, “Wei Ying does the best in everything.”

“You have to say at least something.” Wei Wuxian pouted, “Gods, you wouldn't come no matter what I do. I almost thought I wasn't doing good.” 

Lan Zhan huffed. He pressed a kiss on Wei Wuxian's forehead saying, “I wanted you to… come in me first.” 

“Then you should've said so!! I was holding back from the very beginning! I was thiiiisss close to spilling my seed as soon as I put it in!” Wei Wuxian demonstrated with his fingers to show. “Wait‐ wait‐ wait! Repeat what you said! Did you say you wanted me to come in you!?” 

If Lan Zhan's ears were not already red, he'd have flushed brightly at that moment. He averted his gaze from Wei Wuxian's curious ones, said with hesitation, “I… wanted to know.” 

“–to know what, hmmm?” 

Lan Zhan frowned, “To know how it feels.” 

“Orrr,” Wei Wuxian mischievously slides his hands down to Lan Zhan's abdomen, petting just where his navel was, “you wanted to know if you could get pregnant or not! Right, am I right?” 

Lan Zhan scoffed, frowning harder yet cuter, “It's not possible. We're both men.”

“You never know.” Wei Wuxian giggled, “If two man can fuck like this, they can have babies too.” 

“Ever heard of a  man carrying children in his stomach?” 

“Maybe there is. We just never hear of it. Ca'mon Lan Zhan. In Cloud recesses, we don't even hear what's happening out in Caiyi. It can't be entirely impossible.” 

Lan Zhan silently gave it a thought. Wei Wuxian noticed the glint in his eyes, getting more and more into the idea. Then out of the blue, Lan Zhan slides his hand below Wei Wuxian's buttocks. Kneading them tenderly he says, “You should be the one to carry our child then.”

Wei Wuxian was astonished. He didn’t dislike the idea or the way Lan Zhan said ‘their child’, “Why's that!” 

“Your hips are wider.” He says moving his hand around the curve of his ass. He ghastly moves along to his stomach saying, “Your stomach is perfect to make space for our baby.” Wei Wuxian couldn’t stop giggling– it was not because his stomach was ticklish. “I am certain, your womb is more capable of nourishing our children than mine.” 

Wei Wuxian laughed bodily. Shaking with mirth Wei Wuxian plays along, “Yes, yes, er‐gege. This Wei Ying will get pregnant for you, Stretch his stomach to make space for as many babies as you want, birth many plumpy babies with huge dumpling cheeks through this voluptuous ass that you love so much!” 

Lan Zhan fake coughed and solemnly said, “Mn.” 

It was impossible for Wei Wuxian to stop giggling. He nuzzled his face on Lan Zhan’s chest, his mind and body relaxed.

But it was Wei Wuxian. His mind hardly ever relaxed. It was serene it his mind, all worries gone. Thanks to that, the problem he was facing with the abyss cleansing suddenly has a solution. 

“Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan! Hear me out!” He enthusiastically sprang up from their lazy cuddling. “I think I figured out something!” Wei Wuxian almost yells. Lan Zhan was dumbfounded but he patiently listen everything Wei Wuxian had to say, “The Nies cultivate their sword with animal sourced resent. Their sabbers absorb resentful energy. You understand what this can mean!”

Lan Zhan shook his head. 

Wei Wuxian didn't risk forgetting that sudden epiphany. He jumped out of the bed to find paper and ink, completely oblivious to his nakedness. His body was smeared in fluid drying up on his body, the night was cold, and all Wei Wuxian could think of was his next invention.

“You see, I studied the Nie cultivation method and why it was harmful for them to the extent that they all die out of Qi deviation. They used resentful energy in a useless way. Note why I'm saying their method useless; when they kill an entity, be it living or paranormal, they absorb its resentment in their sabers. They think they are doing Gods work by liberating them from their resentment and wow now they don't have to go through all the rituals of a proper burial and stuff. They try to get a shortcut. See that's where the problem lies. Killing done, so we rest, their ancestors must have thought. And the rest of the generation just followed. They didn't give the absorbed resentment another thought. All these times these hulky‐hunky Nies have been toughing it out, dealing with the harmful resentful energy within their sabers. They could have let the resentment out at least- but no! They didn't! And died in the name of honor. Honor my ass! I'm so glad that Mingjue-ge changed their cultivation method.” Wei huffed shaking his head. “Oh but that's not what my point was actually! What I wanted to say is that we can use that method. Look I know I said it's harmful for the user, but hey, So is spiritual energy. Both energies are harmful if unbalanced, can cause qi deviation and hahaha death! Putting aside the risk of harm, if we can use the method to absorb resentful energy, we can absorb the resentment from the abyss. All we need is something strong enough to absorb an abyss amount of resentment, something that's been cultivated in resentment for centuries….. which I don't know…where to find….” Wei Wuxian vexed out.

Annoyed at himself he throws away the ink brush, “Aww fuck this. This is useless too. And here I was getting excited and blabbering bullshit when we could be peacefully cuddling.” He painfully glanced at Lan Zhan. He must be annoyed at Wei Wuxian. Which person likes it when their partner leaves them alone in the bed to spew some random shit only to realize later all of it was of no use.

 

Lan Zhan walked to the table, as naked as Wei Wuxian. He read the hastily written paper with an enormity of seriousness. Letting the paper dry, he pulled Wei Wuxian closer, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek. “You lack one item.” Lan Zhan says.

He's thankful that Lan Zhan wasn't annoyed at him.“Mn.. yeah… an item that I'm sure doesn't exist. And if I try to make one now it'll take another century, so nevermind.” Wei Wuxian groggily mumbled, too annoyed at himself to look at Lan Zhan's bright eyes. 

Lan Zhan exhaled. Suddenly, he carried Wei Wuxian on his arms over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Wei Wuxian thought Lan Zhan was going to force him to sleep. So when he was thrown on the bed on his stomach with his ass facing Lan Zhan, he was utterly stupefied. 

“Lan Zhan?” He asked, attempting to shift on his back. 

However, Lan Zhan's arm strength was back. He pinned Wei Wuxian down his chest, knees bent in a way that made his ass perk up shamelessly. His hole exposed in full view to ogle at. Wei Wuxian knew the position. It was on the first page of the erotic arts. Except, Lan Zhan wasn't as playful or gentle on the art. He grabbed and gripped Wei Wuxian with all his strength. Lan Zhan rubbed his increasingly hardening cock against the rim of his hole. His own knees on either side of Wei Wuxian's knees, keeping him in place. He reached Wei Wuxian's hands leaning from the behind with the red ribbon. 

“Wait Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian tried to stop the man above him. But the gentleman was gone from Lan Zhan. He didn’t let Wei Wuxian move at all, putting all his weight on Wei Wuxian's back. Wei Wuxian's hands were soon bound by his hair tie with a knot so tight and complex that Wei Wuxian feared his blood circulation. The rude man kissed the bone of his cheek and murmured in his ear, “Don't move. Be good.” 

He was repeating the damn words Wei Wuxian used on him. It doesn't work on Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian doesn't give a shit about being good. He wiggled under Lan Zhan's weight whining, “Lan Zhan, we can do this later. I don't think I can stand up if I come again. I already came three times. You can impregnate me later, okay? Hmmmm, sweetheart?” 

The sweet talks and whining did no good. Lan Zhan has decided he'll fuck Wei Wuxian at that moment, so he'll fuck Wei Wuxian at that moment. 

Wei Wuxian wiggled to get out of Lan Zhan's clutches, but it backfired on him. Wiggling his body meant wiggling his butt, and wiggling his butt meant rubbing his hot hole against Lan Zhan's cock like a cat in heat. “Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan, I'm.. I am not prepared to take you yet! We can try this tomorrow, when I'm full of energy!” 

“If we wait for tomorrow it will be late.” Lan Zhan says, stroking Wei Wuxian's cock roughly. 

Wei Wuxian glanced sideways, “Late for what?” 

“For you to figure out another solution to your problems.” 

“What does that even mean!” Wei Wuxian croaked out, “Lan Zhan stop.” 

“No.” Lan Zhan said outright. Lan Zhan denied Wei Wuxian directly on his face.

“You– you're saying no? You're denying what I want?” Lost in disbelief Wei Wuxian whined, “You never denied me anything.” 

Lan Zhan bit his ear and whispered, “You are not being good. This is your punishment.” 

 Wei Wuxian's face flares at the methodical choice of words and tone. His mind stopped working from that point onwards. And that was his biggest mistake. 

Lan Zhan wasn't anything like his usual self. It was as if he was acting on his primal desires, a celibating man full of lust. He didn't care about preparation or stretching or lubricating or any of the arduous steps Wei Wuxian went through. He spread Wei Wuxian's ass cheeks as though his hole was not on full display and pushed his erection in crudely.

Wei Wuxian cried out with the sensation of something foreign shoved in him so suddenly. It's as if someone plunged a blunt sword in him and it was not even half way in. 

“Sorry, I couldn't control.” Lan Zhan breathed out in an apologetic tone. His heart racing against Wei Wuxian's back.

Hearing Lan Zhan say sorry made his heart soften . No matter what, it was Lan Zhan and he'd never harm him. It's just fucking. “Don't say sorry. And don't pull out!” Wei Wuxian groaned. “You're already in, might as well go all the way.”

Lan Zhan kissed and sucked on Wei Wuxian's shoulder on the bruised skin. He plunged himself in roughly with more force than Wei Wuxian exerted on him. The ache down there was too intense to relax his muscles. Even though Wei Wuxian's cock isn't as big as Lan Zhan, it's somewhat close. He wondered how Lan Zhan refrained himself from crying out in pain when Wei Wuxian was battling for dear life. He had to bite the bed sheets to stop him from screaming out in pain, for he does not want Lan Zhan to think he wasn't doing good. Despite everything he failed to make low groans with his insides being evaded by something that big. The pained groans only enlarged Lan Zhan in size. Wei Wuxian accepted his fate. 

“Lan er gege, be more gentle with your Wei Ying.” Wei Wuxian whined giving up fighting completely. 

Lan Zhan tiled his face to reach for a open mouthed kiss. In the blur of twirling tounges Wei Wuxian felt Lan Zhan's cock touch a certain area in him. A sudden bout of pleasure rippled through his whole body with extreme goosebumps on his nerves. The impact was so sudden and unexpected that a smutty nubile moan left Wei Wuxian's throat. The sound he made was more erogenous than all the whiny sounds he ever made.

Before, his moans were somewhat under his control. But now with Lan Zhan's cock touching this certain place, his mind forgot what having control over one's body was. 

There was no rational thought. If there was, it was beaten by the lust of being pleased. Wei Wuxian arched his back more wiggling to have Lan Zhan more and more. “There! Like that! Keep doing that!”

Lan Zhan started pounding on him. Grabbing his buttocks, Lan Zhan thrusted in and out in the most urythimic and somewhat clumsy manner. His pace was so fast that it reminded Wei Wuxian of– bunnies. Of course he's seen countless bunnies mate. He hates himself that the pace reminded him of bunnies of all animals. He blabbered about it even though he couldn’t hear himself blabbering. He came withing the third thrust, yet Lan Zhan hadn't let go of him. He came for the fourth time for that night, yet Lan Zhan pounded on him cruelly. 

“Lan Zhan aaghh– have , ngh- have mercy on me!!” Wei Wuxian begged the cruel merciless man but to no vail. By the end of the night, or the beginning of a new day and a new sunrise, Lan Zhan came in him filling him with his seeds. 

Wei Wuxian was sure the chirping of birds was no delusion. Another night spent fucking around with not a blink of sleep.

The image of yin iron flashed in his mind.

Notes:

Wwx:"Insert himself? Insert himself where?"
AND THEY WERE BOTH BOTTOMS!!! And tops as well

Chapter 49: Fragments

Notes:

......hi, I'm alive ＿|￣|○

“Are you sure it won't hurt you?” Lan Zhan asked for the hundredth time. 

Wei Wuxian traced his fingers over the metal frame of yin iron, carefully breaking its seal.  Resentful energy pours out with each undo. Chenqing’s spirit hums delightfully. The abyss below their feet, as they fly above it on their swords, hums back to find the source of intense resent. Wei Wuxian stole the Yin iron, breaking the same wards he made with his elders, going against all the rules. But hey, he's not doing anything illegal, he's stealing for a good cause, to help people, without hurting anyone. 

Will it hurt him, is an unanswered question.

“You'll save me if I'm hurt.” Wei Wuxian winks at the worrisome boy. 

Lan Zhan was in no mood to appreciate Wei Wuxian's flirting. “Don't joke. Are you sure this is safe?” 

“I'll never know until I try.” Wei Wuxian answered solemnly but with a hint of humor. He wanted to try taking the risk for the good of people, moreover to see how far he can extend his limits. Even if he gets hurt a little bit, the outcome of it will be greater.

Lan Zhan held Wei Wuxian's hand, the one holding Chenqing. His eyes darkened with worry,  “Your golden core faced lethargic attacks twice.”

Wei Wuxian didn't need to be reminded of it. The gut wrenching pain of his qi burning in his body feels raw everytime he thinks of it. But that's nothing he can't tolerate. Is it not fine as long as he's not dying? 

“But you were supportive of my plan all this time.” Wei Wuxian said with a pang of pain budding in his heart. 

“I still am– but….”

“but what Lan Zhan?”

“I am afraid my nightmares might come true.” Lan Zhan’s face shrunk as he exasperated. 

“Nightmares?” Wei Wuxian softly asked, creasing Lan Zhan’s hand with his thumb.

“-Of you losing your golden core, become crippled…. Madman like–” Lan Zhan averted his gaze to the horizon of gray clouds. Chilling northern breeze froze their breaths, fogging their air.

When Lan Zhan averts his gaze away from Wei Wuxian, it's mostly because he's overwhelmed with his emotions. Wei Wuxian refrains himself from inquiring more of the nightmares his lover suddenly disclosed to him of. He understands from Lan Zhan’s perspective, if he were to have dreams of his soulmate losing himself to madness, he'd be whimpering with the pain of a  kicked dog. 

Wei Wuxian pecked on Lan Zhan’s cold cheek with a small smile, “I promised I won't make you worry, didn't I?” 

Lan Zhan looked at him with eyes that say he doesn't trust that promise completely. Wei Wuxian huffed, feeling a little offended. He pulled his worrisome lover closer by the waist, “Lan Zhan, at least not you of all people. Trust me this once.” 

“I always will.” Lan Zhan sighed, urging Wei Wuxian to let him go and focus on the task at hand. He prepared his guqin, for if things went out of Wei Wuxians control. ‘Clairity’ Wei Wuxian had suggested would be the best if Wei Wuxian fails to succeed. Though he doubts his theory will fail him. Lan Zhan trusted him, what more did he need.

He wished Wuming was a bit more supportive of him, like Lan Zhan was. Wei Wuxian wished he could trust Wuming as much as he trusted Lan Zhan with this secret theory.That's the thing about  living beings perhaps. The older you grow, the more afraid you become of the unknown, of losing people, of watching your loved ones be hurt, even when those people swear they will be safe. 

Wei Wuxian didn't want to keep it a secret from anyone. Had he told his theory to his elders, they would have grounded Wei Wuxian in the cold cave for half a year. Had he told Wuming of it, he'd have strangled Wei Wuxian with his serpentine body. 

“Let's do this!” Wei Wuxian said to himself, putting Chenqing below his lips. 

The knowledge of commanding and controlling resentful energy comes on its own, like it's born instinct, like he's spent a life using resentful energy and it's as easy as breathing in crisp air. Resentful energy of yin iron leaves a metallic taste on his tongue. His lungs burn as he commands the resent of air and water to be one. River water parts in a whirlwind, resent cover him like a blizzard. Screams and wails of tortured souls threatened to bleed his ears, laughter of menacing souls mock him for daring to control them.

Wei Wuxian takes it as a challenge, grinning like he was playing phantom wrestling with the souls. Wei Wuxian prided himself in strength, and he prided himself with determination. He forced the resentful energy to bow down to him, to yield under his command. The shrill of Chenqing distasteful to his own ears.  What can be more sad than the flute that sang melodramatic love songs, reigned over bloodthirsty souls. 

 

Melody of clarity soothes his ears. Wei Wuxian paced his tune with Lan Zhan, river abyss turning calm. 

Swiftly sealing the Yin Iron once again, Wei Wuxian pants for fresh air. The shrill of resentful souls linger in his ears, so does the feeling of blaze in his body. 

“Did it work?” Wei Wuxian panted, looking down at the calm water. It appeared more azure than dark green of the abyss. Despite the calmness Wei Wuxian couldn't determine whether his plan worked or not, he felt resentful energy creeping in his bones. 

“Your eyes are red.” Lan Zhan gasped, holding Wei Wuxian carefully in his arms. “You're burning with fever.” 

Wei Wuxian felt a slight annoyance in his heart. Did he want to know the color of his eyes or the temperature of his body? He asked a damn question with three simple words. 

Did. It. Work. 

Lan Zhan could have answered in simple yes or no. 

Wei Wuxian caught himself getting more angry. It's unusual for him to feel that much anger towards Lan Zhan. Resentful energy was already altering his emotions, bringing out his negative emotions condensed to the worst.

“Fuck!” Wei Wuxian cursed. “Let's go.” Wei Wuxian maneuvered suibian to reach the shore before he loses consciousness and falls in the river again or worse, get mad and push Lan Zhan in the water. He ignored the muffled laughter of absorbed souls from within the Yin iron. They mock him for being weak, for thinking he could overdo them and stay sane. 

 

Lan Zhan caught him as soon as he slumped on the shore of biling river. Wei Wuxian rested against a trunk of a giant oak tree beside the shore, leaning his head on its thick roots. Meanwhile Lan Zhan checked Wei Wuxian’s plus and qi silently with a tight frown on his temple. He placed his hands over Wei Wuxian's dantian, his lower abdomen to check on his golden core, biting his lips inwards. 

Wei Wuxian hissed at the slightest cold touch. As soon as he felt Lan Zhan touch his abdomen, his body filled up with lust. His cock hardened beneath his wet robes, throbbing painfully for something- anything. 

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian hissed, grabbing Lan Zhan by his collar, there was more whine to it than spite. 

On a second thought, Lan Zhan was really hot when he frowned. He was really hot when he growled Wei Wuxian's name with his dick in Wei Wuxian’s hole. The pain of being fucked raw, marks of his grips on his ass were still fresh.  “Do me!” Wei Wuxian requested arching his back and spreading his legs sultrily. 

“Now!?” Lan Zhan’s seductive frown dissipated into surprised confusion. “You're not doing well. It's better if you-” 

“Fuck! If you don't want to do me, I'll do you!” Ticked off by his hesitation Wei Wuxian growled, pushing Lan Zhan to the ground. Wei Wuxian was trembling with unbalanced qi of overflowing yang energy. Lan Zhan was stronger than him to keep Wei Wuxian pinned to the ground. 

“This area is blocked. No one’s here.” Wei Wuxian twitched with irritation, “Do me now! Hurt me till the only thing I feel is you!” Wei Wuxian demanded hitting his head on the ground. 

Lan Zhan placed a hand beneath Wei Wuxian's head, cushioning the hits. He clicked his tongue in frustration, getting his trousers down to his thighs beneath his long robes. His ears screamed red but Wei Wuxian was in no mood to care. He wanted Lan Zhan in him right there, he wanted to be fucked his mind out of him. 

Lan Zhan pulled down Wei Wuxian's trousers down to his ankle, freeing Wei Wuxian's erection, a deep shade of red almost purple. He was already leaking in his pants, jerking and twitching in the sensation of cold air.  Lan Zhan prolonged in giving Wei Wuxian what he wanted. 

Wei Wuxian's patience was thinning. He got so damn irritated that he took the matters in his hand. One hand stroking his hot throbbing cock and the other getting in his hole. His touch to himself was not enough, he couldn't reach in his hole deeper with his fingers, getting more and more frustrated at everything. “Why the fuck aren't you fucking me!” Wei Wuxian shouted, whining like a petulant spoiled brat. 

Watching Wei Wuxian toughing himself, Lan Zhan grabbed Wei Wuxian's hands, pining them on the ground on either side of Wei Wuxians head. He entwined his fingers with Wei Wuxian's, holding both hands firmly. Wei Wuxian's complaints were muffled with his mouth as they kissed messily. Lan Zhan’s cock pushes in with one single thrust. The ache of it shuts down Wei Wuxian's mind, filling himself with desire rather than fury. The  night they first fucked was good but to fuck in a public space, under the cloudy sky by the river, where anyone could walk in and see them, that thrill added more amusement to their fucking. Wei Wuxian moaned as loud as he wanted, not afraid of anyone overhearing them and Lan Zhan thrusted as hard as he could. 

The noise of resentful souls vanished like they were never there. Wei Wuxian liked to think that the souls were so embarrassed by their shamelessness that they decided to leave him for good. 

 

 

“Wuxian!” Lan Xichen gasped as a greeting. “Where were you all this time?!” 

Wei Wuxian was still in a haze. One half of his mind was focused on functioning as a proper human, other half was gushing about how much he loved being fucked by his lover. The said lover glanced at him with aloofness as if he expected Wei Wuxian to answer properly. 

“Caiyi town, where else?” Wei Wuxian walked in the sect like he didn't have a forbidden slab of evil iron hidden in his sleeves. Lan Xichen had found them on their way to return the iron to its place, making things more complicated for them. 

Lan Xichen was too distracted to notice anything wrong. He continued with a frown on his head ,“I've been sending messages to both of you. The waterborne abyss in biling river suddenly disappeared.” Wei Wuxian did his best to act surprised. “Shufu and some of the elders are inspecting it. You are expected to be there.” 

“Shufu is there?!” Now Wei Wuxian was surprised for real. If Lan Qiren was there then Wei Wuxian’s presence was a must. It is then when he notices how worried their older brother was with the news.

The wheels in Wei Wuxian's mind started rolling as fear of disappointing Lan Qiren increased. He needed to show his face to the old man, but he didn't want to leave his lover's side either. While the older and comparatively more responsible Lan brother was urging him to run before his doom, the younger one was looking at him with doe eyes and subtle request of making some bullshit excuse to stay with him. 

Wei Wuxian anxiously jumped on his heels, “But today is festival day. I'm supposed to have a day off.” 

“So am I,” Lan Xichen complained, “But here I am preparing a sudden meeting.” 

Wei Wuxian didn't expect the disappearance would cause that much chaos in the sect. “Do I really have to go?” 

“Yes!” Lan Xichen pushed him. “Before that!” Lan Xichen says, pulling him back by the collars. He smiles at Wei Wuxian in a playful way, a smile that indicates the guy is about to tease him of something way too embarrassing. Before Wei Wuxian could stop the man from saying something stupid, Lan Xichen fixes the lapels of Wei Wuxian’s robes saying, “Change into something more…. covering.” 

Wei Wuxian's hands reach to cover his necks instinctively. He glances at Lan Zhan only to be met with a mirroring expression. They both stare at each other flush embarrassed while the older of the Lan brothers laughs inelegantly. 

“What? You thought I didn't know? I've been watching you two since you were babies, of course I'd know.” Lan Xichen exclaimed and giggled a little more. 

Wei Wuxian’s first thought was to deny everything, to pretend he didn't know what Lan Xichen was meaning. Then his heart denied him. If he pretended to be innocent he'll be dishonoring his love for Lan Zhan. If he can't claim his love in front of one man, the most understanding one he knows, then he might never gain the courage to claim his love before a hundred cruel men. 

“Don't tease.” Lan Zhan scoffed before Wei Wuxian couldn't think of saying anything bold. He held Wei Wuxian's hand and pulled him away from the giggling Lan, walking away without looking back. 

“He's definitely going to tease!” Wei Wuxian groans, smiling at Lan Zhan’s brightly flushed ears. 

Lan Zhan scoffed more, feigning his abashedness with rage. “Return the seal quickly.” He reminded Wei Wuxian of his real duty before taking any uncalculated steps regarding the waterborne abyss.   Wei Wuxian dutifully returned the Yin iron in it's seal. The guarding disciples are distracted to celebrate the day, mid autumn festival. Wei Wuxian used their distraction to steal and banish the abyss sleazily. He's sure they are all going to be punished for being distracted while on duty, feeling a little bad for making them go through a punishment for a risky plan he had. 

 

Wei Wuxian dutifully reaches the Biling river to an already furious Lan Qiren lecturing the disciples. Wei Wuxian acted unsuspecting, like he saw the biling river for the first time in his life. The good news was that his plan worked, bad news is that the elders caught a hint of resentful energy manipulation and were determined to capture and execute whoever that was. There is no doubt it instilled a sprinkle of fear in Wei Wuxian, though he is optimistic of the future, the elders just need some more time to understand that resentful energy manipulation can actually be very helpful. Until then Wei Wuxian swore to shut his mouth. He assigned himself working for the remaining dead bodies beneath the river, finding their families if possible,  and preparing a proper burial for them. 

---

“It was you,” Wuming said after Wei Wuxian returned to his room with a pile of scrolls. The investigation took more time than Wei Wuxian initially expected, resulting into him missing out on the mid autumn banquet. Lan Qiren gave him the duty to look over the river abyss disappearance. Wei Wuxian fights over the urge to tell his dear old man that he need not worry because it was Wei Wuxian who removed the abyss in the first place. 

 

“What was me?”  Wei Wuxian feigned indifference, cleaning his face before meeting Lan Zhan again in the Jingshi. 

“The abyss, you did something.” Wuming murmured. 

“Oh I always do something, don't I?” Wei Wuxian sarcastically said. He looked at himself in the mirror, nice and clean. He thought his hair was messy and started to comb through the tangles with his fingers. 

Wuming, unconvinced, murmured again,“I do not discourage you. But resentful energy is…” 

“I know resentful energy is bad, harmful, dangerous, risky. Yes, you've told me over a hundred times.” Wei Wuxian mocked though he felt bad about his tone. The bad feelings left behind by the yin iron lingered in his heart like ink in his cotton sleeves. 

He takes Wuming in his lap, running his fingers through his spine, scratching on the softer scales. He says in a small whiny pouty tone, “You worry so much that I didn't want to tell you. Yes it was me, I removed a whole abyss.” Wei Wuxian sighed and said in a exhausted voice, “I'll be honest, it wasn't the best course of action. And I'd not recommend others to do what I did  if there was an alternative.” 

Wuming didn't lecture him. Rather he carefully wrapped himself around Wei Wuxian’s wrist, and gently asked,  “Is everything okay? Are you hurt?” 

Wei Wuxian chuckled feeling overly loved by this creature, petting the reptile thing in its stomach. “Of course I am.”

“Be honest.”

“I am being honest!” Wei Wuxian whined. “Sure it affected me a bit, but Lan Zhan helped me through it.” 

Wuming curiously asked, “He did? How?” 

“Mn.” Wei Wuxian proudly hummed. Mischief crawled in the cracks of his fingers. “When I was done with the abyss, you know, it affected my mood. I was full of negative emotions, all the bad ones. Lan Zhan didn't do anything and yet I got mad at him, I got really annoyed and irritated. I never thought I'd ever feel that level of madness.” 

“Mn.” Wuming hummed as though he knew what Wei Wuxian was talking about.

“I was able to stop myself from growing more angry. I didn't want to hurt Lan Zhan! So I thought, if I can divert my negative emotions somewhere else, and oh my god Wuming, you won't believe what happened next!” 

Wuming fell in the trap of Wei Wuxian’s suspense “What happened?” 

“I turned into a lustful beast!”  Wei Wuxian exuberates making Wuming scoff. “I swear, I was full of lust! My libido was increased ten times! I was so hungry for it that I couldn't wait to go somewhere private. I forced him to do it the second my feet landed on firm ground!” 

Wuming wiggled out of Wei Wuxian's hold groaning and complaining that he doesn't need to know the details. Wei Wuxian laughed and continued to express how lewd he was.  

“Shameless!” Wuming scolded before burrowing himself in Wei Wuxian’s blankets. 

“That's me!” Wei Wuxian laughing non stop running out of the dorm. 

It was unusual for Wuming to scold Wei Wuxian, not to mention how much he sounded like Lan Zhan. 

Cloud recesses celebrated mid autumn festival as mundanely as one could expect. With the unexplained disappearance of water abyss, Gusu Lan elders were even less joyous over the occasion. Moon viewing is held privately in solitude or with a loved one, if they had any. And Wei Wuxian had that certain loved one. Back when they were just friends they'd view the autumn moon, sitting by each other with an invisible obstacle between them. Back then, Wei Wuxian used to return to his room before bed time, in fear of what the chill cozy night might do to him. The obstacles are now gone, they can cuddle and chat and sleep without fearing over their emotions. Wei Wuxian had smuggled Emperor’s smile to fulfil his years long dream of drinking wine beneath the full moon with his lover by his side. He was swooning with fuzziness that he forgot to look out for people who could see him.

 

“Going somewhere?” a voice comes, scaring the soul out of Wei Wuxian. 

“Shufu!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, fixing his sleeves. Suddenly he feared that Lan Qiren had a spiritual level of smelling sense and will smell out the wine from his qiankun pouch. “What are you doing here!?”

“I live here.” Lan Qiren said as a matter of fact. His quarter was a small walk away from Lan Zhan’s quarters. He appeared to be on a nightly walk down the lane and unfortunately coming across Wei Wuxian's secret route to the Jingshi. 

Wei Wuxian laughed nervously now that he's been caught red handed. He relied on the truth as an answer, “I was going to the Jingshi to spend some time with Lan Zhan. He said he saved my share of moon cakes for me.You know how I missed the banquet for you. So I was going for a moon gazing and moon eating.” 

Lan Qiren subtly rolled his eyes, annoyed that Wei Wuxian yapped randomly rather than getting to the point. “It'll be nine soon,” he reminded.

Wei Wuxian cleared his throat, “I know.” He always wondered what his shufu would think of his and Lan Zhan’s relationship. He's never shown any disregard for cut sleeves. He hates every relationship outside marriage equally. Still, Wei Wuxian wanted to test the waters, to see if it was ever possible for them to be married and be accepted. “I'll….sleep over… with him.” 

Lan Qiren stays rather calm. He doesn't throw a fit accusing him of tarnishing his pristine jade. He simply raises a brow, stroking his goatee, and asks, “Aren't you a little too old to be sleeping together?” 

“Are we?” 

“Are you not?” 

“...No…” 

Lan Qiren stared at him suspiciously-suspensefully. He huffed with impatience. Shooing Wei Wuxian away he said, “Just go, be mindful of the rules.” 

Wei Wuxian smiled brightly cheering and musing how mindful he always is of the rules, so much that he can write them with his feet and eyes blinded. 

“You're late.” Lan Zhan informs from where he was. The back gates, the sliding doors of the Jingshi were wide open to let the moonlight in, and if they laid down on the floor, they could have a full view of the golden moon. The moon’s silver rays fell on Lan Zhan’s snow white skin. His silk like hair, let loose, covered his back like midnight darkness, reflecting the moon rays back to the moon. By his side were two cups of tea and a plate of sweet mooncakes. Wei Wuxian hurried in, informing his lover how his uncle had caught him. Lan Zhan didn't react, as though he knew something like that was bound to happen sooner or later. Wei Wuxian failed to catch what Lan Zhan was feeling at that moment and went for a quick kiss as he sat by his lover. His lover, as pretty as he is, can be a little cruel sometimes. He moves back from the kiss, refusing to give Wei Wuxian what he wanted. 

“Oh, what did I do wrong now?” Wei Wuxian joked leaning forward to taste those pouty lips of his lover as the said lover leaned backwards, moving far from Wei Wuxian. 

“Guess.” Said the beautiful boy. 

“I told Shufu about our sleepovers?” 

“No.” 

“I was waaaay too late?” 

Lan Zhan shook his head. 

Wei Wuxian, as he kept chasing forward for a kiss, hummed and guessed, “I left to meet shufu when you wanted me to stay with you and then you had to face Xiongzhang's persistent teasing while you were stuck helping him prepare the meeting and you had to attend that meeting full of enraged elders all alone?” 

Lan Zhan made a face that if it was written down his words would be just three dots. The words might not be vocalized but Wei Wuxian knew he guessed everything correctly. 

“You were mean to me today.” Said his lover, half leaning, half fighting Wei Wuxian’s attempt to kiss. 

Although, Wei Wuxian knows the words weren't spoken to him as seriously as Lan Zhan looked, something in him altered. He gave up on the playful urge to kiss and wrapped the boy in a tight hug. He lays all his weight on Lan Zhan as he rests his head on the young man's broad shoulder. “I was . I'm sorry.” 

“Bossy” hummed Lan Zhan, stroking Wei Wuxian's head softly. 

Wei Wuxian's huffs, “Says the bossier one.” 

Lan Zhan laid on the floor so they could comfortably rest on each other. “Brat,” he complained. 

“Ouch-hahaha–” Wei Wuxian raised his head to meet his lover's eyes,  "Is that news to you?” 

“No.” 

The blunt answer makes Wei Wuxian laugh more. As he does, Lan Zhan pulls him closer by himself, giving him the sweet kiss he was longing for. 

His mouth tasted like the Osmanthus cake, guessing the moon cake fillings already. Wei Wuxian didn't care about the moon cakes anymore, all he wanted was to rest on top of his lover's chest and watch his lover's moonlit face. 

“You look tired.” Informed Lan Zhan tucking a strand of hair behind Wei Wuxian's ear. 

“A lot happened today.” Wei Wuxian had no energy to even think about what happened. “What I did today is really affecting me.” 

Hearing this Lan Zhan gets alarmed, getting up to check on Wei Wuxian's dantians again. Wei Wuxian giggles at his alertness, not because it's funny but because he finds it extremely endearing to be cared for this intensely. 

“Not that way,” Wei Wuxian calms his worrisome lover, resting beside him on the floor. He holds Lan Zhan’s hand as he glanced at the moon shining out in the sky. He murmured, “It affected me emotionally.” he adds with a little sigh, “and it still is.” 

“Should we consult with-” 

“No no- no consult will help.” Wei Wuxian stops before Lan Zhan could mention any physician name. “I'm not saying I'm in a bad condition. Lan Zhan I'm fine.” He squeezes the hand he was holding and adds with a small smile, “It's just- suddenly I feel kind of empty. Like I had something really precious and now I don't have it anymore.”  Wei Wuxian glanced at Lan Zhan to find him already staring back. He says with a wider smile, “I'm fine, I promise.” 

Lan Zhan intertwined their fingers together, indicating that he's willing to listen to everything Wei Wuxian had to say. 

And so Wei Wuxian says, “I wish I had the immortal pill like Houyi. If I was Houyi I'd have shooted down a hundred suns to get us a immortal pill. So we could both be immortals and live without a worry of the world. You'd not have to be afraid my death and I'd not have to be of yours.” 

Lan Zhan smiles hearing him. And Wei Wuxian thought moon viewing had nothing before Lan Zhan’s pretty smile. 

“If that was the case, I'd still declare you the moon god and command every mortal worship you. We'd have jade rabbits pounding you sweet Osmanthus cakes and for I, would be humbled by wine— oh that reminds me!” 

 

Wei Wuxian leans closer to Lan Zhan’s ears whispering “Wanna get drunk?” 

“Drunk?” confused, his lover asked.

Wei Wuxian fished out his qiankun pouch from his inner pockets, pulling out two mid sized jars from it. One does not have to look twice to know what those jars are. The white porcelain jars cackle as Wei Wuxian presents them to his zhiji. Lan Zhan’s eyes bulged out of his socket like he was giving him dead rats. 

Wei Wuxian giggled, “It's just wine.” 

Lan Zhan shook his head sitting up to be properly shocked, “How did you buy one.”

Wei Wuxian moved over smiling mischievously. Emperor's smile was banned from the disciples of Gusu Lan. That does not mean the disciples stopped buying it. There are hushed whispers around the dorm that they buy wine in disguise and drink it in their rooms. Wei Wuxian never tried it because his previous two experiences with alcohol weren't the best. But  words of Lan Yi always echo in his mind. And he's read enough poems and novels romanticizing wine under the full moon. How long can one wait?

“I asked uncle Hao to pay me with wine rather than money.” 

The man he helped with his harvest transportation knows him for years. He was kind and supportive of Wei Wuxians yearning for wine that he bought two jars of it despite it being really expensive. 

Lan Zhan hesitates. He eyes the jars like he is already counting the rules he's breaking and the punishment he's going to get. 

“No one will know!” Wei Wuxian whines pouting as adorably as he could. 

“But…” Lan Zhan worries. He averted his gaze murmuring, “I don't want to forget this night with you.” 

Wei Wuxian's heart does a flip at the sincerity of this man. He thinks back to when they were younger. Not only does the Lan family have drunken amnesia, they become an insanely chaotic person. 

Wei Wuxian sighed, “Fine then!” He took a jar and gulped the wine unceremoniously. The spice of wine hit his throat with a dizzying splash. He watches Lan Zhan, loose hair and lose clothes, staring back at him like Wei Wuxian was the moon people sing songs about.

Such a look of yearning enchanted Wei Wuxian to forget wine and desire for passionate love.

He pulls and kisses Lan Zhan once again all over his face, nose, cheeks, jaws and chin, eyelids and anywhere his lips wanted. 

“You're drunk?” Lan Zhan asked, reciprocating his kisses.

“Not at all.” Wei Wuxian chuckles, pulling Lan Zhan out of his clothes. Lan Zhan mimicked his actions, throwing off Wei Wuxian's robes like they did not matter. 

Wei Wuxian ran his hands across Lan Zhan’s abdomen, languidly complaining  “You're so cruel to deny your Wei Ying of what he want.” 

“I do everything you tell me to.” Lan Zhan’s voice withered with Wei Wuxian's bare chest met his. His voice trembled yet he spoke with a hint of spite, “I did you shamelessly in an open space, just as you told me to.” 

“You sound as though you didn't enjoy every bit of it.” Wei Wuxian grabbed Lan Zhan’s thighs, pulling his pants down and away. “Admit it er-gege, you liked fucking me in public. You wanted to be seen fucking me, didn't you?” 

“You told me to.” Lan Zhan’s cock erected as Wei Wuxian ghastly ran his fingers around the young man's loins. 

“You only follow my orders when it's something you want to do. That doesn't sound right.” 

Wei Wuxian took the jar of liquor and poured it down Lan Zhan’s chest. The cold liquor made Lan Zhan hiss with surprise and it certainly did awaken something in him. Making the man lay beneath him, Wei Wuxian indulged Lan Zhan’s fantasy, licking the liquor dripping from his body.  His tongue slithered from Lan Zhan’s chest to his abs, and back in a circling motion. His hand stroked Lan Zhan’s hard cock lazily.  He hears Lan Zhan softly whine and twitch to have it rough the way he likes it. 

Wei Wuxian smirked, hovering above him. “Only if you drink with me.”

When Wei Wuxian teased his cock with more slow and barely there touches, Lan Zhan had no other choice but to agree. “Do I have any other choices?” 

Wei Wuxian chuckled menacingly. “Nope.”

He didn't wait for a second, taking a gulp from the other jar and pushing it down Lan Zhan’s mouth through their kiss. Lan Zhan’s muffled yelp ignited more mischief in Wei Wuxian’s childish heart. He kissed the boy messy and licked the drooling liquid from the corner of his mouth. 

Lan Zhan was the best kind of mess, an artistic mess. He was beautiful even when panting heavily for air, coughing out the misplaced liquor. “Warn me.” he whispered dizzily. 

“Don't tell me you're going to fall asleep!” 

“I'm… not..” saying so the boy does falls into deep slumber. 

“Lan Zhan, er-gege?” 

Shaking the sleeping beauty does not work. Lan Zhan sleeps peacefully beneath him. Wei Wuxian huffs to himself, appreciating the jade beauty. The full moon shines up on his serene face as though a lullaby. 

“Will you be wreaking havoc in Cloud recesses when you wake up?” Wei Wuxian asked the sleeping man. Jingshi was so quiet that he could hear Lan Zhan’s soft breathing and the thumping of his heart. 

“If you run away from me, you'll be running around naked. And then I'll be running after you with my butt out. Shufu will ask for an explanation from me. Oh what shall I answer?” Wei Wuxian dramatically cried to himself and giggled at his own jokes. 

“You know what, it won't be a bad idea. That way we don't have to tell them we're no longer virgins. And then they can not but marry me to you. Wouldn't that be great, hmm?” 

 

“Mn.” A reply came. 

“Eeeeyyy! You're awake!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed cheerfully. “Are you not drunk, you don't look drunk?” 

Lan Zhan slowly opened his eyes, parting his lips he says, “Tell shufu you're not a virgin” 

He repeated the words Wei Wuxian said, and Wei Wuxian couldn't help but burst into laughter. “Yes, yes, you are drunk.” 

Wei Wuxian was about to lean down for another drunken kiss when Lan Zhan flipped them over and started kissing him frivolously. He didn't let Wei Wuxian part for air, let alone breathe. His grip on Wei Wuxian was far stronger than usual, like he forgot about his strength. Wei Wuxian finds himself grow weaker as Lan Zhan manhandle him to an embarrassing position. Lan Zhan forced his legs spread and hole exposed. 

“I though you're drunk!” Wei Wuxian whined And cried, “You did me once today. Let me do you now,  it's not fair. Lan Zhan- stop!” 

Lan Zhan pushes himself in without a warning, and Wei Wuxian promises not to get alcohol anywhere near Lan Zhan ever again. 

 

Notes:

I wanted to post this chapter during mid autumns day but my schedule is so busy I barely get the energy to write, I swear none of my fics are abandoned, I'll get to them once this is done.
Oh, and, I'm now in bsky under the same name if you want to... follow me there👉👈

Chapter 50: Wedding

Notes:

Another new year huh?
Anyways, don't take engineering, NEVER take engineering. If you are an engineering major with low iq brain (like me) and can't even pull all nighters, change major man. I'm dying here.

Before autumn ends, comes Wei Wuxian's birthday. It'd be his first birthday as Lan Zhan’s lover. Past birthdays have been great as Lan Zhan’s friend- best friend. He was looking forward to his birthday as a lover. Had it not been Lan Yunshi’s wedding exactly on his birthday, Wei Wuxian would have spent every possible blink with the boy he loves. 

 

“Bride's sedan is on its way , Wei xiong you're not ready yet!” one of the many cousins of Lan Zhan scolds him.

“I'll be done!” Wei Wuxian replies. His ceremonial robes are neatly hanging in his dorm room, while he runs around the halls to make sure everything is decorated perfectly. It's his favourite shixiong's wedding, the one's secret relation he'd known for as long as he remembers,  he can't help but be wary of everything. He's anxious and excited, and kind of angry that Lan Zhan was tricked into going to fetch the bride with his other cousins. Usually during ceremonies, Lan Zhan helps him don the expensive robes, knot those complex knots, and he was expecting this time to be more special. But that stupid lover of his fell in the trap of his stupid elder brother, and now Wei Wuxian has to do everything alone. 

It's not that anyone was forcing him to watch over the wedding preparations. He just enjoys wedding ceremonies. He knows Lan wedding ceremony traditions are the most boring traditions if compared to other clans, still it was better than any other mundane ceremonies the Lans celebrated. It was the only time cloud recesses looked less like a funeral house. 

The red decorations and smell of sweets, put a ease in mind. He had eaten the birthday dumpling his dorm mates bought for him as an early celebration, but the outer disciples aren't quite allowed to join the inner family ceremonies like weddings. And that's another reason why Lan Zhan had to be with him, because elder Yan had been angry murmuring and had already asked why Wei Wuxian was running around like a headless chicken. 

 

“Why don't you relax and get ready for the ceremony.” Wuming nudged, though it did very little to calm him down. “You aren't planning to welcome the bride in plain white robes, are you?” 

“Can't I?” Wei Wuxian sarcastically asks. 

“If you want to look like you've just dug up a hole while standing beside Lan Wangji, you can.” 

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes backwards out of annoyance. Sometimes he wished he could yank and throw the celestial reptile to a wall like a bouncy ball. “Using Lan Zhan to blackmail me, how low Wuming.” 

But the celestial reptile was very proud to be able to successfully convince Wei Wuxian to relax and get ready. 

His robes were a bit extravagant than usual, if the usage of black and white gradient sheer outmost robe can be called extravagant. He'd not have commissioned a chang had Lan Zhan not insisted. At that time he thought  since Lan Zhan would be the one to tie the skirt and since it'd be his birthday, maybe he'd rile that guy a bit, and they could makeout a bit  before the ceremony started. Wei Wuxian's expectations didn't meet the horrors reality, which disappointed furthermore.

“Stop sulking.” Wuming hummed from a corner, wagging his tail like the sleepy cat he is. 

 

Wei Wuxian was petty when it came to taking revenge on Lan Zhan. He believes his anger is valid. His lover promised to spend the whole day with him even if he was busy. But he failed to fulfil his promise in the first hour of his birthday. Wei Wuxian will take revenge on him without a drop of guilt. 

The bridal sedan arrived through the main entrance of cloud recesses. Lan Yunshi leads the sedan carriers through the courtyard to the ancestral hall, on tow was the the cousins of the groom, Lan Zhan being one of them. His lightless eyes soon caught the sight of Wei Wuxian among the welcoming crowd throwing flower petals. 

Wei Wuxian, though wanting to give him the cold shoulders, failed to bite back his smile at the sight of lover. Lan Zhan was forced to walk along with the groomsmen, by a certain annoying elder brother, and Wei Wuxian walked along with the crowd welcoming the bride. With a distance between them they walked in unison almost as if walking side by side. 

The wedding ceremony was no different than any other wedding ceremony. Same old music being played, same old chants were being chanted, same old path to the ancestral hall.

However, Wei Wuxian was overwhelmed by the same old traditions.  This time, Lan Zhan was on the other side of the line, watching him, giving him subtle soft smiles. While the crowd was throwing petals on the groom and bride's sedan, Wei Wuxian was deliberately throwing flower petals at Lan Zhan. He showered Lan Zhan with flowers until they arrived before the ancestral hall and the bride's sedan was lowered. 

Crowds  dispersed and gathered in the hallways to make way for the groom and bride. The groom waits for the bride to step out of her sedan. Lan Zhan defeats his annoying older brother to be by his side. The bride steps out holding the groom's hand to brace herself. Lan Zhan intertwines his pinky with Wei Wuxian. The bride and groom slowly walk forward on the red carpet. Wei Wuxian glances at Lan Zhan. The bride and groom reach the ancestral hall alter. Lan Zhan gazes  back to Wei Wuxian. The wedding rituals start with the bride and groom bowing to the parents. Lan Zhan’s gaze roamed around Wei Wuxian’s face, as though a new face had emerged within a day, as though he wasn't looking at his face all the while. The bride and groom bow to each other. Wei Wuxian sneakily pulls Lan Zhan's ribbon tail and hopes no one is behind them watching such atrocities. The bride and groom drinks from the same cup. Lan Zhan fights Wei Wuxian's sneaky attacks, hands behind their backs. The bride and groom are listening to the grand elders' lectures. Wei Wuxian loses his patience at that stage.  If he was the bride he'd have whined out loud to let the elders know how annoying the marital lecturing was. If he was marrying into the Lan family… if it was possible… He knows it's not possible, Lan Yunshi couldn't make his father agree to his marriage at first just because he had a rule opposing secret relationship. Heaven knows how Wei Wuxian dreams of marrying Lan Zhan being an absolute tradition wrecker.  

Lan Zhan holds his hand assuringly, raising a brow to ask what's wrong.  

“I'm mad at you.” Wei Wuxian whispered. It is not allowed to talk during marital rituals, even so Lan Zhan whispers back, “Because I couldn't be with you since morning?” 

“You'd know if you were smart.” 

“Xiongzhang tricked me, I didn't want to go.” There was a whine in his tone and a small pout in his lips. Wei Wuxian didn't dare look, for he'll melt if he did. 

“You wouldn't be tricked if you were smart.”

Lan Zhan nodded silly. “Understood. I'll try to be smarter next time.” 

Wei Wuxian bites back his laughter, how easily this stupid boy gives up whenever Wei Wuxian is mad. “What next time? I can't wait for that long to see your improvement.” 

“What can this silly student do to prove his smartness to Lao Wei?” referring him as Lao Wei like the junior disciples, Wei Wuxian almost kisses the boy. 

The marital rituals were finished and guests were being led to the banquet hall. Wei Wuxian moved with the guest, “If you were smarter you'd know.” Before Lan Zhan could say anything, Wei Wuxian diverted his attention to his favourite shidi, “Ay Yawen, come over here!” He says, “Your father told me to look after you today.” 

Little Lan Yawen habitually climbed upto Wei Wuxian's arms asking, “A-die is busy with guests?” 

“Yes, shibo is busy catering to guests. Wangji Gege is also busy catering to guests. Yawen and Wuxian only have each other to play with.” 

Little Yawen is delighted that Wei Wuxian was going to play with him. He cutely nodded his head, cheering, “Go!” 

“Let's go!” Wei Wuxian cheered along. He coldly walked past Lan Zhan pulling out his tongue, “You can also go to your duties, Wangji gege.” 

Lan Zhan continued to stare at him in complete disbelief. Wei Wuxian pushed him to deal with unknown people, the one thing he despised. 

 

Wei Wuxian got his revenge and he swore that he wouldn't feel guilty. But what can he do, it's his zhiji that he is talking about. His best friend that loves peace and quietness. Poor guy avoids crowds at all costs and Wei Wuxian told him to do just that. He felt so guilty that he couldn't enjoy playing with the kids. He promised to pick up his lover from the packed banquet hall once the game was finished. They were playing hide and seek with other kids, fortunately Yawen made friends with guest kids. 

The kid resembles little Lan Zhan when he is quiet. A quick look, and the kid looked like a small version of Lan Zhan, leaving the sunny summer eyes. Sometimes Wei Wuxian wondered how Lan Zhan’s child would look, will they look like Lan Zhan, will they inherit Lan Zhan's light coloured eyes. He wants to dream of their child but rationality is so deep etched in his brain he can't even imagine having a child with their features. He hates thinking about the future. It makes his stomach burn. 

 

“What makes your stomach burn.” Lan Zhan's voice whispers in his ears. Surprisingly, it was Lan Zhan himself standing right behind him. He was only one or two inches taller than him, yet it felt like he was towering over Wei Wuxian. His anger suppressed expression made his light coloured eyes not so light. The sudden appearance perplexed Wei Wuxian so much that he jumped away without thinking. Lan Zhan on the other hand thought Wei Wuxian was planning to run away from him again, he ran after Wei Wuxian immediately. Though the misunderstanding was quickly apprehended, Wei Wuxian didn't let Lan Zhan catch him. He playfully darted away from his lover’s grasp.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, I can't play with you right now. I'm already playing hide and seek with the kids. I'm hiding, don't bust me out.” 

Lan Zhan didn't give up reaching out for him. Like a child, he grumpily asked, “You don't have time for me?” 

Wei Wuxian's giggled, “Like a certain someone who didn't have time for me.” 

His answer infuriated Lan Zhan so much that he speed up and caught Wei Wuxian by his wrist, cornering him behind a wall. “Allow me to make up for my mistake.” 

Lan Zhan sounded so sincere that Wei Wuxian wanted to cry. In his heart, he'd already forgiven his zhiji the moment he first saw him. He leaned forward to kiss his lover and his lover leaned down to kiss him back. They don't often kiss in open spaces, it was Wei Wuxian's impatience that he forgot where they were and what he was doing. He heard tiny footsteps approaching them. If little Yawen saw them kissing his pure little eyes would be sullied. Wei Wuxian doesn't want his innocent baby shidi to see any kind of kissing. On the spur of moment he jumped inside the building they were kissing behind through the window. 

The gang of kids were chanting “Xian gege, Xian gege, where are you?” going as far as checking in through the open window. Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan pressed each other in a dark corner, hidden away from the childrens  peripheral sight. They sounded so adorable altogether, Wei Wuxian felt bad for ditching them mid game. What else could he do, he was torn between giving attention to the small children and the big huge child like best friend who refuses to let him go.

“Ass, they're gonna cry if I don't return soon.” Wei Wuxian complains smiling mischievously.  

Lan Zhan pulls him closer, as if they were not, nudges their nose and says, “Go when they start crying.” 

“You're a horrible big brother.” 

“Mn” the horrible big brother agreed.

Wei Wuxian huffed. He caressed Lan Zhan's lips with his thumb, slick with saliva from their recent kissing, “What are you doing here, didn't i tell you to take care of the guest in the banquet hall.” 

Lan Zhan kissed the thumb, caressing his lips,  and responded with, “Yawen's father kicked me out.” 

Wei Wuxian trembled with laughter. “Aiyaa, Zhan didi was kicked out?” 

Lan Zhan groaned with impatience. He pushed himself closer to bite on Wei Wuxian's neck, gaining a loud moan from him. 

“Quiet,” Lan Zhan complained, looking at the door, he asked, “What is this place?” 

Wei Wuxian was looking for a good place to hide, he remembered he was hiding behind the halls. After Lan Zhan chased him, he ran without a direction and hid in the best place near him. He scans through the dimly lit room. There were shelves of many scrolls and papers. Quite a lot of music instruments, candles and incense and incense burners. Overall, it looked like any other Lan storage room. 

“Storage room, don't worry no one's going to walk in on us.” 

 

Being reassured, Lan Zhan leans in for a deep passionate kiss. “You look extra pretty today.” He whispered in between their kiss. His hands run through Wei Wuxian's open hair stopping at the guan, “This style looks good.” 

“I had to seduce a certain someone.” Wei Wuxian bit his lips, wiggling his hips, rubbing his crotch on Lan Zhan’s thighs. “I'm not sure if they're seduced.” 

Lan Zhan takes a deep breath, clutching Wei Wuxian's hips to stop him from wiggling. “I'm sure they are.” He says eyes closed as though opening his eyes will turn on something else. 

Lan Zhan opened his eyes, slowly moving his hands to his side, tangling his fingers in his upper robe knot. 

“You've got the knots wrong.” The jerk says as he undoes Wei Wuxian's upper robe. 

“Fuck, is that why you were smiling!” Wei Wuxian pulled a fist full of Lan Zhan's hair. 

“No!” Lan Zhan answered, surprisingly his face said something else. 

“You were ! And whose fault is it that my knots are wrong!?” 

“Mine.” 

“So you know to be accountable?”  

“Mn, allow me to–” 

“No.” Wei Wuxian refuses. He pulls Lan Zhan's face closer, squishing his cheeks, “Er- gege you're so shameless, I can see your hardness through all these layers. You think I'll allow you to undress me in this broad daylight.” 

“Weren't you trying to seduce a certain someone?” 

Wei Wuxian pretends to be nonchalant. He held Lan Zhan's chin murmuring, “But did I say I forgave him for what he did and he can do whatever he wants with me?” 

Lan Zhan let's out a defeated sigh. He solemnly lowers his head, “Understood. Is there anything this fellow can do to gain his venerable one's forgiveness?” 

Wei Wuxian loved when Lan Zhan played along. Calming his heart, he smirked, being all cocky, and  ordered, “Hands behind your back.” 

Lan Zhan obliged forbearing. 

“Now, kneel.” 

Lan Zhan, as stoic as his face seemed, didn't show a hint of spite. He knelt before Wei Wuxian as calmly as he breathed. 

“Now keep your eyes on me. Don't dare move or make any noise.” 

Wei Wuxian slowly lifted his skirt. He notices how Lan Zhan's eyes bulged out the higher he raised his skirt, and how the shade of his ears got deeper. Even in the cold of northern late autumn, sweat beaded Lan Zhan's neck for how hard he was controlling himself. 

Wei Wuxian had planned this differently. He purposefully didn't wear anything beneath his skirt. He thought he could tease Lan Zhan from afar, as a revenge. But he's also a impatient fucker,  who can't stay away from the boy he wants to tease. 

“You–” Lan Zhan let's out in disbelief. 

“No noise.” 

Lan Zhan obliged, the question what if someone saw you was loudly echoed through his abashed horrified face. 

“Done admiring?” Wei Wuxian huffs. His plan failed in a good way. He was burning with desire to be seen and admired. He's dying to be touched, “Suck me, er gege.” 

 

Lan Zhan does as told, very eagerly at that. He nips around Wei Wuxian’s inner thighs, licking and kissing his cock until it's dripping pre cum. Wei Wuxian loses himself in the heat, forgetting all his dominance. He pulls his skirt to his mouth holding the hem in with his teeth as his hands dishevelled Lan Zhan's neat hair style. He whimpered and whined when Lan Zhan didn't suck him properly. He whimpered and moaned when he felt the inside of Lan Zhan’s hot mouth, the back of his throat. Lan Zhan's grip on his ass, keeping him steady. He spills out in Lan Zhan's mouth, and Lan Zhan swallows with ease.

Wei Wuxian lost gravity only to realise, it wasn't his hazed clarity, it was Lan Zhan picking him up to place him on a mid height wooden cabinet, exposing his ass to… 

“No, Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian slithered away. He runs with his weak quivering knees, “I won't be able to join the tea ceremony if we do this now.” 

“Then don't join the tea ceremony.” Lan Zhan says as if it wasn't the most fun part of every wedding ceremony. 

“It's my birthday today! You have to listen to me.” Wei Wuxian cries, running silly from shelf to shelf. 

“Tea ceremony is in the evening, you have time to recover.” Lan Zhan didn't budge, running after him in the dark room. 

 

In one point of their little game of tag, Wei Wuxian stumbled upon a hanging scroll. Ironically the scroll read, “Three feet above your head the gods are watching.”  Wei Wuxian's mind started working rather slowly, he looked up and found white ribbons billowing on the pillars. When he gave the room a more proper look, he noticed, the storage room wasn't just any storage room. 

 

“Lan Zhan….” Wei Wuxian contemplates as Lan Zhan’s clutches him from the back. His unwary lover looks at him warily, reading the hanging scroll Wei Wuxian was staring at. 

“Have you ever been inside the ancestral hall, like the inner halls or side halls?” Wei Wuxian inquired. 

“.....No.” 

“Well, now you have.” 

“....I see….” 

Wei Wuxian rested his head on the wall, on the hanging scroll. He wanted to laugh, but he also wanted to cry. He's ashamed but not guilty enough to beg for forgiveness.

“Your ancestors saw you sucking my dick.” Wei Wuxian snorted, trying his best not to be hysteric. “We did all these behind the altars of your ancestors. They saw us making out.”

“They've been dead for centuries.” It was the best his lover could say at that moment. 

“No shit, they are.” weirdly it worked on Wei Wuxian. “Let's get out before, your ancestors return from the dead to curse my seven generations.” 

Wei Wuxian re-joined the kids pretending to be disappointed that none of them could find him. The kids complained they looked everywhere and what not. Wei Wuxian couldn't look at Lan Zhan and be hysterical. He decided to wear his pants. 

 

The tea ceremony is the part where elders leave the youngsters alone, to talk about dowry and other adult related things. The groom remains to celebrate his last moments of bachelor life with his friends and cousins. Though other clans serve liquor at the end of the ceremony, Lan ceremony can go as far as allowing jovial signings. Wei Wuxian, having bestowed the duty of looking over Lan Zirui’s son, was forced to leave the tea ceremony to accompany the kid to the wedding chamber. 

Wei Wuxian had never been to a newly married’s  wedding chamber after understanding what exactly happens in there, and why kids are invited to play on that bed. 

He has known the bride since childhood, he's delivered quite a lot of letters between the bride and groom. It made looking at the bride more awkward for him. He wanted to leave but the small veiled figure just didn't match the woman he always knew. Despite Xin Qiuyue being a high spirited woman, her pensiveness was transparent through her veil. 

“Yawen, play and laugh a lot and lots, and you'll get a lot of little cousins to play with.” 

“Little nephews you mean.” Xin Qiuyue, the bride, corrected in a whisper. 

“Aiyaa, I wasn't even meaning anything, so eager Xin jie.” 

“Wuxian, do you think I don't know your tricks?” Her shoulders appeared relaxed, “What brings you hear, to play?” 

Wei Wuxian's lies on the bed with the kids. Luckily there weren't any important figure to threat him for his rudeness. He picked up a date from the bed, eating it nonchalantly he says, “What else, maybe if I play, you'll get a son just like me.” 

“Huh! Who said we want a son like you?” she scoffed, half laughing. 

“I did so much for you two, don't you think I deserve to have a little credit over your first born?” 

“Aiyaa, you and logics. I give up today. Where's your other half?” 

She always joked calling Lan Zhan his other half. In a deeper sense, she was not wrong. He wished his other half always stayed by him. “Shufu told him to take the guests to their rooms.” 

“Ahhh, so that's why xianxian is so dejected.” 

She was not completely wrong. He's mainly sad because he couldn't spend his birthday with Lan Zhan like he planned. 

“Xian gege is sad?” Yawen sat beside him to check. He was only seven years old yet he acted much like an adult. 

“Mn, Xian gege is sad that Xin jiejie is getting married.” 

The child then innocently asks, “Do you want to get married too?” Making the bride wheeze loudly beneath her veil.

“Was I wrong?” little Yawen asked. 

Wei Wuxian turned red at his question. In his heart he shouted yes, but in reality, he had to pretend as though he's above worldly desires like marriages and stuff.  “Do you think marriage is so fun that everyone wants it, Yawen?” 

“A-die said, it's fun. But A-Niang says it's not fun.” 

Wei Wuxian found it funny. Everyone in the Cloud Recesses believes Lan Zirui is a total wifes man. He'll agree to whatever his wife says. To know that there's something they disagree on, is kind of grounding.  

“Marriage is not fun if you're marrying into the Lan clan.” Xin Qiuyue responded  genuinely. 

“Why is that?” Wei Wuxian and Lan Yawen both asked in unison. 

“I mean, you Lans have so many rules, it's scary…. But I also don't want anyone else but this one stupid Lan.” 

Wei Wuxian wanted to say something to comfort her. But he gets where she was coming from. Even though their situations aren't the same, he has the same underlying fear in him, a small dumb wish that Lan Zhan wasn't a Lan. A silly belief that things would have been easier had Lan Zhan been from another clan or Lan Clan was not so deeply bound by their thousands of rules and traditions. 

Before he could think of anything bold, the groomsmen declared the arrival of the groom. The kids were hurried out of the chamber as the groom waited for his wife. Wei Wuxian meets Lan Zhan waiting with the groom, cheering for the groom and bride with other boysterous boys. 

Lastly when Lan Yunshi closed the door to his quarters, Wei Wuxian stuck up a silencing talisman as per unwritten tradition saying “Just in case he forgets!”

“Gege, why did you put that?” little Yawen’s question reminded of Wei Wuxian’s own childhood foolishness. While others laughed at his innocent question, Wei Wuxian answered what Wuming had once told him, “You will understand once you grow up.” 

Lan Xichen then jokes, “Lao Wei, it's not right to give your students vague answers.”  having the first jade joking like that, encouraged others to joke as well. Wei Wuxian gave Lan Xichen a cold stare for fucking with him since morning. 

The older Lan knew Wei Wuxian was mad at him for taking Lan Zhan away. He averted his gaze and smiled his stupid smiles. He glanced at his little  brother for help but to avail. Having no savior, he sides with Lan Yawen, “Yawen, it's your first wedding ceremony, was today fun?”

When Lan Yawen agreed to having fun others stated complaining.“What fun? Yanwen, Lan weddings are very boring. You should see Jin weddings or Jiang weddings, they hire dancers and singers.” another said “If Wei Xiong agreed to marry Miss Jiang we could have joined a Jiang wedding.”

“Not funny, huang xiong.”Wei Wuxian is not someone to be easily hurt by jokes, but certain topics he'd not tolerate. Such as the reminder of how he almost got married to Jiang Yanli. 

“Sorry!” , “Aiya! Why remind of that!” , “Go Wei Xiong, smack his head like grandmaster Lan!” 

While everyone was joking in an attempt to lighten up the mood, Wei Wuxian saw Lan Zhan lost in deep thoughts. 

To lighten up Lan Zhan's mood, Wei Wuxian says, “If I am to marry, I am going to marry in the Lan clan.” 

Everyone started laughing and groaning that they have to attend yet another boring Lan wedding. Lan Zhan was taken aback by his words. To make it clear, Wei Wuxian added, “I have everything I want here, why would I marry another.” 

“Ahem alright kids, Look at the sky, so dark and cold. It's time to go to your own quarters!” Lan Xichen yells dramatically loudly. He sends every dumbfounded kid back to their quarters, taking Yawen with him. Wei Wuxian doesn't miss the subtle eye wink he gave to him and Lan Zhan. He's so annoying at times, it's embarrassing. 

 

“So, what do you have for my birthday?” Wei Wuxian asked on their way back to Jingshi. 

“Guess.” Lan Zhan hummed, playing Wei Wuxian's own game against him.

Wei Wuxian loved guessing game, the only problem was, he never got it right with Lan Zhan’s gifts. His gifts had always been  unpredictable. Wei Wuxian kept guessing till they arrived in the Jingshi, letting Lan Zhan take care of him. 

“Silk tassle?” Wei Wuxian said on his nth guess. 

“No.” Lan Zhan wipes Wei Wuxian's face with a wet cloth. 

“The blue dye I've been looking for.” 

“No… I couldn't find it.” Lan Zhan takes off Wei Wuxian's head piece and combs his hair.

“Makes sense. Then… Those white smooth papers?” 

“No.” Lan Zhan applied some sort of scented slave like gel on his face. Wei Wuxian was curious to what Lan Zhan was doing. Wiping his face and combing his hair was usual in their daily routine. But the emollient caught him of guard. 

“What are you doing, is that my gift?” 

“If you want to think it like that.” 

“It's nice” Wei Wuxian coons. The gel was cold and soothing on his skin. Having Lan Zhan gently massage the gel on his face felt relaxing after a long day. Once the face was fully hydrated, Lan Zhan made Wei Wuxian close his eyes. He felt Lan Zhan's fingers rubbing on his lids, and the cold tip of  the liner they bought.

“Er gege,” Wei Wuxian smirked, “Is this going where I think it is going?” 

“Don't move.” 

“Isn't it my birthday? Why are you having a treat? It should be you dolling up for me, not the other way around.”

Lan Zhan placed a waxy paper in between his lips, telling him to shut up without actually telling him to shut. Wei Wuxian mumbled despite the paper in his lips. 

When Wei Wuxian opened his eyes before the mirror he could not recognise himself. He'd have joked it wasn't him but some pretty maiden. However, he was more shocke to know that Lan Zhan has a great grasp over cosmetics, any would mistake Wei Wuxian as a run away bride. “Wait- is this a bridal makeup!? even the hair style you made is- is- Lan Zhan!? What is in that head of yours?!”

Lan Zhan gave Wei Wuxian a evil smirk, like he got the reaction he wanted. He fished out a red cloth from his inner robes, and draped it over Wei Wuxian's head.

“Wife.” Lan Zhan whispered in his ears. 

Wei Wuxian, through his rapid heart beats, watched himself flush red in the mirror. 

“Y- you! Whatever happened to warnings!?” Wei Wuxian stammered. “And! You can't see the bride's face now! You have to come through the door and meet the bride in the wedding chamber!” Saying so, Wei Wuxian stomped to the bedroom, sitting in the middle with his face covered with the veil just like a perfect bride.  

If not in reality, then in game.

 

The groom steps in the wedding chamber, closing the door. Wei Wuxian could see everything through the veil. He noticed Lan Zhan sticking a silencing talisman on the door, and approach the bed with hesitant steps.  Lan Zhan perched up on the bed, facing Wei Wuxian.

“Is there something the groom must say before lifting the veil?” The boy asked, clearing his throat. 

Wei Wuxian chuckled, “Nothing that I know of.” 

“Mn,” says the groom. He slowly lifts the veil over the bride's heads, until it can rest above the stylish bun.

With the slow removal of Wei Wuxian’s veil, he noticed each change of expression in Lan Zhan's face. There was an almost unnoticeable tremble in Lan Zhan's hand, an almost inaudible gasp, a silly agape mouth, and a pair of eyes shimmering with held back tears. Had Wei Wuxian not known they were only playing the role of bride and groom, he'd have really believed they'd married and this was the first time Lan Zhan saw him.

Lan Zhan's eye's crinkled as he smiled. He gracefully untied his forehead ribbon, holding it before Wei Wuxian like mortals presents sacred sacrifices to gods. 

“Isn't that a bit too…. Crossing the line?” Wei Wuxian whimpered through his thundering heart. 

“The bride is encouraged to bow while accepting the ribbon.” 

Wei Wuxian stared at the ribbon, white and blue clouds, purity and peace. Offering one's forehead ribbon was to offer one's value, to offer one's life. 

“It's your birthday gift.” Lan Zhan whispered when Wei Wuxian stared at it for too long. When Wei Wuxian responded with a low pitched gasp, Lan Zhan added, “For your birthday I'm giving you me.” 

Wei Wuxian's heart reaches his throat. It bursts, regenerates,  and bursts again. He wanted to say something funny but his tears beat his mind in the race of emotions. He bows and accepts the ribbon with both his hands, crying his heart out on Lan Zhan’s chest. When crying didn't feel enough, he reached up to kiss his zhiji, to which his zhiji reciprocated with enthusiasm. 

 

“Your face!” Wei Wuxian said through his tears and started laughing. The lip tint Lan Zhan applied on Wei Wuxian's lips transferred itself to Lan Zhan’s face like an abstract painting made by a three year old. 

“Your face too.” Lan Zhan says, wiping Wei Wuxian's tears.

“Don't I look pretty regardless,” Wei Wuxian said with a wink, then added “Husband.” with a low sultry moan.

The next thing Wei Wuxian knew was being stripped graceless, having been bitten here and there. The moment Wei Wuxian tried to push Lan Zhan away, the man tied his wrist with the ribbon he offered Wei Wuxian. 

“Er gege, it's my birthday. Shouldn't you treat me nicely.” 

The man frowned viciously. He wrapped Wei Wuxian's red ribbon around his eyes. Being blindfolded in bed was a first for Wei Wuxian. He didn't find the idea of utter darkness amusing,  how can he enjoy sex if he can't even see Lan Zhan's pretty face. But he knew Lan Zhan wanted to give it a try, hence Wei Wuxian indulged without complaining.

 “Call me husband.” Lan Zhan growled near his ears. Having his sight obscured, Wei Wuxian was highly relying on his auditory sense. The growl alone was so hot that Wei Wuxian's cock responded instead of him. Even so, Wei Wuxian didn't want to be easy.

He smirked and said, “Why should I call a man a husband when he gives me old gifts.” 

“Old gifts?” Lan Zhan scoffs. 

“You gave me, you, when I've had you from the age of five. Tell me er gege, are you not old? Don't I deserve a new gift?” 

“Materialistic.” Lan Zhan huffed as he tied a cold thread like thing around Wei Wuxian’s waist. It was a chain either made of silver or copper with dangly cold beads around it. The part that connects from the behind has a small jade like ball hanging down tickling his lower back.

“A waist chain!?” Wei Wuxian guessed. 

Lan Zhan hummed, planting small kisses around his waist, navel, and hips while Wei Wuxian demanded to be freed from his blindfold. Lan Zhan ignored him and rolled Wei Wuxian on his stomach kissing and sucking above the cleavage of his butt, gradually going down. Wei Wuxian yelped in surprise when he felt Lan Zhan's tongue down there. He kept licking and kissing spreading Wei Wuxian but not going in. 

“Er gege, how long are you going to keep me waiting?” Wei Wuxian whined, his dick throbbed louder than his heart. “It's hurting me you know!” 

Lan Zhan paid him no heed, he continued to ghost touch around Wei Wuxian’s cock. He put in a finger as if showing mercy.

One finger was not enough when Wei Wuxian had experienced the pleasure of being stuffed with Lan Zhan’s humongous cock. He wiggled his ass and cried how it was not enough and he needed more. Still, Lan Zhan acted like he didn't hear a thing. 

“Lan Zhan, you're a bully!” No sooner had he said that, the flesh on his ass was harassed with a hard slap. The hit was so perfect that it made a crisp clapping sound echoing through the room.

Wei Wuxian had to imagine what happened down there for his asscheeks to sting. Comprehending the possibilities he was drowned in shame. He was spanked by his lover. In his life, not even his parents spanked him on his ass. He'd have clearly remembered had he been spanked before. For Wei Wuxian being spanked was the ultimate form of shame and he was always greatfull that the Lan clan has no such rules of spanking as a punishment. He didn't even feel this much shame when he found out they were being promiscuous behind the ancestral hall.

“Th-that was so heartless!” Wei Wuxian yelled. He wanted to sound angry, but after being edged for so long his throat lost it's strength. 

He wanted turn around but Lan Zhan pinned him deeper in the mattress, solemnly saying,  “The wife should not call the husband by his name.”

Wei Wuxian had almost forgotten they were playing bride and groom. He was so mad that Lan Zhan had the audacity to spank him that he wanted to stop whatever they were doing. Regardless, Lan Zhan had the upper hand where Wei Wuxian was tied by both wrist and sight, hips being held, and he had no way out.

“You could have fucking said so!There was no ne-” 

Lan Zhan slapped his ass again, reciting “No swearing.” 

“It hurts!” it didn't really hurt, and Wei Wuxian's nasal complaining made it sound more inviting than refusal. On top of that his body, his dick reacted to the slaps as though it was positively stimulating. Wei Wuxian's body enjoyed the pain but his mind couldn't sink  the shame in. 

 

Wei Wuxian thought, since they are playing he might as well go all in. He whimpered in languid moans and said, “Xiang gong,”

Wei Wuxian, blindfolded, could see how immediately Lan Zhan's body reacted. The grip on his ass grew tighter like the man will be blown away if he doesn't hold on to something. 

Lan Zhan prolonged no more. He gave in and thrusted deeply in Wei Wuxian with an unimaginable force. It's as if everytime they fuck Lan Zhan sets a new record of hard plunging. Wei Wuxian moaned in pain but not forgetting to carry on his act of helpless submissive wife. He moaned out different terms, “Fujun, fujun be gentler to you wife.” Lan Zhan's breath grew shallower with each new term.

“Fulang, this is my first time. Have mercy on this virgin.”

Lan Zhan does the opposite of mercy. He thrust in deeper each time, reaching his sweet spot. Wei Wuxian who has been teased for hours couldn't hold back from climaxing. 

Overstimulated Wei Wuxian begs for a break but his heartless cruel husband says, “Furen has to birth many children, no break is allowed.”

Notes:

Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon

Chapter 51: Warmth of winter

Notes:

Idk if I should give any additional warning, this basically soft porn

Poetries often adjudge winter as the season of solitude. A season of utter loneliness, hopelessness and despair. At one point of his life it might have been true for Wei Wuxian. If he takes himself back to the streets of Yilling, a freshly orphaned child who didn't even know he was an orphan, what utter despair it was to be left alone in a darkness dressed in cold white.  

If Wei Wuxian were to ever write a poetry of winter despair, he'd talk about the hard winter rain. A time where even shadows froze, little feets scurried to find a dry land. He'd call bamboo forest warmer than a man's heart who despised uninvited guests. He'd say winds are scarier than the howls of wolves and foxes. He'd say his bones danced better than the swaying leaves of. He'd rather be buried in winter snow than be washed in its rain. 

Wei Wuxian hasn't felt such loneliness in the coming years. Winter became a season full of warmth and play time. Winter was cozy bed, soft blankets, huddling around with friends, brazier and heat lamps, cuddling extra close to his zhiji, heated kissing sessions with lover just for the sake of warming up, and a lot of…. passionate love making. 

Wei Wuxian had been doing it every night since the first time he confessed. At times they'd do it in the broad daylight, pulling the other in a quiet corner. After his birthday, they've discovered the fun of making out behind the closed doors of classes, where anyone could walk in them any moment and see them biting each other's lips behind the curtains of Lanshi because Shufu said Wei Wuxian should put his loud mouth to a better use,or sucking dicks behind the library shelves because Wei Wuxian said something smart and it made Lan Zhan really hard, or touching each other's cocks during martial training just because mid training blood rush is hotter, or  be flashed by their bare bodies rubbing each other in the cold pond, or hear him moaning in the music room because Lan Zhan decided to play with him instead of fixing his zither, anything could have happened. 

Fortunately, no one was unlucky enough to walk in them. 

Every time they did it, Wei Wuxian used to beg Lan Zhan to spare him, or take a break for a day, saying shit like they didn't have to do it everyday. Then the day came where  his wish came true. For the first time ever, Wei Wuxian was spared from being Lan Zhan’s little pleasure toy. And Wei Wuxian was not having a good day- or night- or a good time in general. 

He knew the day would come when they had to stop sticking to each other and focus on their duties. Wei Wuxian had to update on the Biling river incident and Lan Zhan had to be on night patrolling duty. Lan Zhan slept the day to be productive at night and Wei Wuxian had spent his free time staring at his sleeping beauty. He has been stalling the Biling river case study daydreaming of Lan Zhan, and now he has a pile of work needing to be submitted. 

“You should have learned from the story of Zhinu and Nuilang.” Wuming says as he floats over Wei Wuxian's head like an annoying fly.

“Shut up!” Wei Wuxian was already annoyed that he had to spend the winter night alone and cold while his dear husband goes to war, fighting the so-called intruder that never intruded on cloud recesses. And there Wuming was nagging him of his duties. “This is so boring I don't wanna!” He rolled over on the floor and cried. 

Wei Wuxian has spent so much time in the Jingshi that his dorm room has started to feel foreign. The ceiling has spider webs, it's small and packed with furniture, he can hear disciples from other rooms laughing or yelling with their roommates, it's not peaceful, it doesn't smell sweet or feel homely like Jingshi. His own bed is unfamiliar. He feels like a guest in his own room. 

“I feel so alone! How am I going to sleep today!?” Wei Wuxian threw a fit like the childrens on the streets do when their parents don't buy them the toy they want. 

“You are not alone, I'm here.” Wuming rests on his head, tickling Wei Wuxian with the end of his tail. 

Wei Wuxian felt like an ungrateful brat for feeling alone when in utter lonely helpless days Wuming was there to save him. 

“I don't mean lonely like that-” Wei Wuxian tries to describe what kind of lonely he felt without being shameless. 

“Like what then?”

“Like…. You know….” 

“I don't think I know.” 

Wei Wuxian gave up to Wuming’s genuine stupidity. He tried his best to be humble and meek but Wuming gets what he asked for. “Lonely in a way of not having the love of my life to be sexy with! Now do you understand!?” 

Wuming coughs and awkwardly flies away from Wei Wuxian's head. “I can't help in that case.” 

“I'm so doomed Wuming!” Wei Wuxian whines, “I've been sleeping with Lan Zhan so much now I can't even imagine sleeping without him.” 

“It can not be that hard.” Wuming nonchalantly says. 

Wei Wuxian's rolls his eyes, “A summer cicada cannot discuss ice.” immediately after saying it did Wei Wuxian realised the damage he had done to the other. He swiftly got on his knees to bow, and yelled, “I didn't mean it like that, I swear!” 

Wuming huffed like it was funny. He said, “No need. I was wrong to inflict my inexperienced ideas on you.” 

“Aiyaa, don't say it like that. I can tell you were hurt by my words. Tell me how many times should I kowtow, twenty? Forty? Hundred?” 

“Zero.” 

“No, I won't be able to sleep if you don't punish me.” 

“You won't be able to sleep either way.”

“That!” Wei Wuxian couldn't fight anymore, falling into laughter. As much as Wuming nagged, it's always fun to bicker with him. “I just- really didn't mean to remind you of your life.” 

“I don't mind.” 

Wei Wuxian knows very little of Wuming’s life.Wei Wuxian knows Wuming had a life before meeting him. He'd told him that he once had a lover, unrequited and one sided. His lover died due to the side effects of resentful cultivation. The rest of his life was never revealed to Wei Wuxian, or rather Wei Wuxian never dared knowing. He fears Wuming will disappear.  His skin was translucent blue, almost resembling white, his claws, mane, fur, everything was losing its vibrant colour, like he was in his last stage of life. 

“Hey Wuming, who are you really?” Wei Wuxian's fears always fails to curiosity. He lies flat on the bed, tucking himself in the blankets like he used to do when he was young and waiting for Wuming’s story times. 

Wei Wuxian let his heart be open. He vents the secret worries hidden in him,  “You don't really have to answer…. It's just, I'm always curious about what your existence means. For one, I know my parents didn't send you. No one except me can know your existence. The few that did forgot you existed. The last time i met Mingjue ge, he couldn't remember you or his own dream, not at all. I'm pretty sure Song Lan can't remember you either. Xiongzhang, who once believed in your existence, has forgotten about you too! Only Lan Zhan believes in me but that's because I talk about you all the time. So, am I delusional? I believe in you. You're not some hallucination. You are real. But then what are you? Some kind of God? A god's subordinate? a henchmen from the spirit world? Second, I know you're not a spirit so you're not a spiritual being. You have a soul, you are…. a soul?” 

“How did you guess that?” Wuming, coiled before Wei Wuxian's pillow, says in a calmness that says he's not surprised at all. 

Wei Wuxian averts his gaze in shame,“I…. actually tried to put you in a soul trapping pouch once while you were sleeping, and it didn't go through you at all.” 

That, though, surprised the little reptile being. “Why would you do that?” 

“I don't remember!? I was bored I guess or maybe mad at you?” Wei Wuxian deters the topic back to where they were, “Anyways, you are a soul! And I felt like… like it was a shattered soul, a soul in pieces and missing a huge chunk of it.” 

Wuming tried to say something but Wei Wuxian interrupted, “It's not that I'm forcing you to reveal your secrets. I'm just…. really worried.. I really care about you! I want you to be happy, and get everything you've ever wanted. I wish I could give you everything, or at least help you get what you desire. I wish for you to be fulfilled, and be whole!”

Wuming stays quiet for a beat. He stared at Wei Wuxian as though he never expected Wei Wuxian to say such words. Once the words sinked in, Wuming burrowed in the gap of Wei Wuxian’s neck. There was a purr in his breath as he said, “I'm more than happy to know that you care for me this way.” 

Wei Wuxian scratched along the long spine of Wuming’s body, saying, “You mean so much to me. How can I not care?” 

“I am happy to be with you.” Wuming says, making Wei Wuxian giggles like a child. 

“Are you?” Wuming asked sincerely, “Wei Ying, are you happy?” 

It's a question Wuming often asks. Wei Wuxian always nodded and said yes. 

“I'm not unhappy. Yet I'm not completely happy either.” Wei Wuxian answered differently this time. Since he was already being true to his heart, he revealed what truly lies in his heart. 

Wei Wuxian further added, “Happiness is relative, don't you think? Even the king, who can have anything he wants, says he's unhappy. For this lowly fellow to be completely happy is impossible.” 

“What can satisfy your unhappiness?” Wuming asked.

“I'm not dissatisfied. I'm really satisfied with the life I currently have.” Wei Wuxian lost in thoughts murmured, “I just think, the absence of my parents can never content my heart…. no matter who I look in for that parental love, it just never feels enough.” 

Hearing his confession, Wuming sighs like he knew in his bones that it was a wish impossible to be fulfilled. 

“But to be honest,” Wei Wuxian says awkwardly, “You are not far from that.” 

“Pardon?” 

“Promise me you won't make fun of me.” 

“I promise.” 

Wei Wuxian locked pinkies with Wuming. He felt his blood rush to his face in embarrassment. He kind of also wished to run away as shyness consumed him.

“Wuming,” Wei Wuxian said with all his  sincerity, “You are like a parent to me. Like the  father from novels that have good fathers. You give me advice and guide me, teach me things no one thought of needing to be taught. You're also like a mother when you care too much, worry too much and nag.” 

Wuming breathed in and was about to say something. Just at that moment, a voice exactly same as Wuming reaches Wei Wuxian's ears from another side. 

“Am I interrupting?” Said the voice. 

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, jumping from his bed. He throws away his blanket, leaping to the window where Lan Zhan awaits and quickly embraces the boy in his arms with a loud kiss on the lips. 

Lan Zhan's bichen in one hand and the other bracing Wei Wuxian's back, melts into the kiss like snow melted under the morning sun. 

Wei Wuxian wrapped his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck, he swooned on his heels and asked, “What brings you to my humble abode?” 

With their eyes locked, Lan Zhan answered, “Taking a short break.” 

Wei Wuxian swooned left to right, moving their bodies together like a dance, “How are you here then? Dormitory building isn't in your patrolling route.” 

Lan Zhan let Wei Wuxian move him and danced like his puppet in their small room. He responded, “Exchanged route.” 

“Because…” 

Lan Zhan tucked a flower behind Wei Wuxian’s ears, a red camellia that is known to only grow in the female disciples' courtyards,  being really smug and saying “Guess…” 

Wei Wuxian keeps his face natural, or he hopes his face isn't growing as red as the flower, “You missed me.” 

“Mn.” 

Wei Wuxian giggled overjoyed to spend his time with the love of his life. He pinched the tip of Lan Zhan's nose, red with the harsh winter wind, playfully scolding, “Neglecting your duties to meet your sweetheart. Didn't you learn anything from the story of Zhinu and Nuilang?” 

Lan Zhan pouts, pulling Wei Wuxian's face for a vicious kiss. 

“Mhhhmf! Stop biting me in front of-” Wei Wuxian turned to his bed looking at the empty spot where Wuming was snuggled to him. Wuming does this whenever Lan Zhan gets a little intimate with him. Wei Wuxian had a belief that it was solely due to the scarring story of Wuming’s life that he gets uncomfortable being around. When they discussed about it, Wuming promised it was nothing Wei Wuxian should worry about and said he could enjoy his time. Still there was always a pang of guilt that Wei Wuxian couldn't help Wuming be united with his lover.  

 

“Did I interrupt something?” Lan Zhan asked. 

Of Course Wei Wuxian won't say he was talking about how he regarded Wuming as a parent when he's always called him a friend. He acted unaffected, saying, “Nothing that you should know.” 

It irritated Lan Zhan if not infuriated him. He scoffed and parted from their embrace with a cold shoulder. Wei Wuxian watched from the bed,  the man silently organizing his messy study table, his notes and ink brushes. He read the scrolls and notes and coldly denoted,

“A certain someone had made no progress in their field of work.” 

Caught red handed, Wei Wuxian backfired, “Like a certain someone bunking his patrolling.” 

Giving Wei Wuxian no response, Lan Zhan headed toward the window. Understanding that the man was leaving, Wei Wuxian ran after him, laughing and apologising for his jokes. He held Lan Zhan by the sleeves, pouting, “Er gege, are you leaving your Wei Ying for his harmless jokes?” 

Held between the window sill, Lan Zhan gave him one of his soft reassuring smiles. “Focus on your work. I'll be back after a round.” 

“Is that what we are going to do tonight?” Wei Wuxian bemused. Lan Zhan did not move even though Wei Wuxian had let go of Lan Zhan. He stood on the sun roof below his window, gazing at Wei Wuxian with undivided attention. For a moment Wei Wuxian felt like those rich maiden's whose father's locked her up in a cold palace to prevent her from meeting her lover, but her lover overcame all obstacles to secretly meet her. In such folk stories, the girl usually elopes with her lover, living a happy life in a far away country. Obviously Wei Wuxian won't do such foolery, but he's certainly doing something worse than that. He leans outwards, holding the frames of his window, kissing the secret lover. If anyone was to peek out of their windows, they'd get the best view of the two kissing. And Wei Wuxian wants them to see. He's said being secretive was thrilling, but being known had its own fulfilment. He wanted everyone to know how much he loved the second jade. “I'll be waiting for you.” 

 

Wei Wuxian counted till three thousand and thirty six when Lan Zhan returned. The first thing he did after stepping in his room was  not giving him a kiss or a hug, but to check on the papers Wei Wuxian was supposed to write on. 

“Not a single word.” The man says, sounding like his overeducated uncle. 

“I couldn't focus.” was the excuse Wei Wuxian gave. 

The way Lan Zhan raised a brow, meant that guy was scheming something evil to do with Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian felt challenged and excited to see what scheme was brewing in that head of his. 

Lan Zhan impassively said, “You need to be punished then.” Before Wei Wuxian could get excited he commanded, “Strip.” 

“In this cold!?” Wei Wuxian refused. Previously when they fucked, Wei Wuxian was cocooned in Lan Zhan's bed with so many of Lan Zhan’s blanket warmed by Lan Zhan's body warmth. Jingshi was warmer thanks to the huge brazier Lan Zhan had. Wei Wuxian's dorm was not only cold, his brazier was smaller in comparison, he only had one blanket, on top of that he wasn't warmed up. 

“Strip.” Lan Zhan repeated. 

“Aiiiyyy, did you forget I don't like being cold?” 

“Strip, I won't repeat again.” 

Wei Wuxian didn't like being told what to do. But there's something so hot about Lan Zhan's scowling commands that Wei Wuxian couldn't fight even if he wanted to. There had to be something wrong in Wei Wuxian’s head for enjoying being scared. 

Wei Wuxian strips uncaring of the cold. It doesn't go unnoticed how Lan Zhan's grip on bichen’s hilt grows tighter when Wei Wuxian stands butt naked before him. He took off everything except the waist chain he wears beneath his layers of clothes. Wei Wuxian keeps his gaze on Lan Zhan as he delicately traced the chain around his hips, reaching the back to unlock the chain. 

“Keep it.” Lan Zhan murmurs. 

To any unsuspecting individual, he'd sound normal. However, Wei Wuxian has spent years with this refined man, he's well aware of his smallest of cracks and fissures. No matter how placid his face looked, Wei Wuxian knew by his breath alone that this guy was barely composing himself. And Wei Wuxian loved to see him lose composure. 

“As you say, Xiang gong.” He slid his hands from his lower back to his tailbone then to the soft flesh of his asscheeks. He squeezed the flesh, giving himself a soft pat on the pair of snow white buttocks. The sound itself wasn't loud but it made Lan Zhan's brows crease in a frown. 

“Hands.” Lan Zhan demanded, extending his own. 

Wei Wuxian smirked. “How'll I warm myself if I  give my hands to you?”  He slithered his hands from his buttocks to his thighs, slowly moving towards the centre. 

“I will not repeat.” 

Hearing the man growl, Wei Wuxian promptly put his hands on Lan Zhan’s palm. In a blink, Wei Wuxian's wrists were tied together with his own white ribbon. From his experience that's the part where things start to get spicy. Wei Wuxian braced himself to be devoured by the hungry beast. But what happened next was quite disappointing. 

“Sit” Lan Zhan said, like a splash of cold water to his face, waking Wei Wuxian from his dreaming. 

“Wha- eh? Sit? Sit here?” 

Lan Zhan didn't wait for Wei Wuxian to make sense. He pressed on Wei Wuxian's shoulders with his cold finger tips, making Wei Wuxian sit before his study table. Wei Wuxian was dumbfounded by the sudden change in their course of action. He blankly stared at the surface of his table, as Lan Zhan laid out his case study scroll and a prepared ink for him. 

“Work diligently.” The man in seven layers of clothes handed the ink brush to the naked man with tied hands. 

Wei Wuxian gaped at him with the utmost surprise. No evil scheme could beat the level of evilness this particular evil deed Lan Zhan was enforcing on Wei Wuxian. 

“Fuck off.” Wei Wuxian said, having nothing else to say. “Write my dissertation? Like this? Are you fucking out of your fucking mind?” Wei Wuxian was so flabbergasted that he started cursing multiple times in one breath. 

Lan Zhan had an expression of serenity, he liked where things were going. He liked teasing Wei Wuxian more than Wei Wuxian teased him. “If you don't, your punishment will be greater.” 

Wei Wuxian lost his temperament. He was sure his face was turning red out of anger. “Come at me with all you got, you crazy fucker.” Wei Wuxian kept it in mind not to yell too loudly. What a disaster it would be if anyone barges in hearing his yelling and finds him in that state. 

“Whatever you do, I'm not writing my paper butt naked in this freezing cold.” Not only was it frustratingly annoying to write with his hands tied, Wei Wuxian had to submit the paper to Lan Qiren. He might be known for being shameless, he can't possibly submit a paper he wrote undressed, with a half hard dick. 

Lan Zhan cockily raised a brow, “Whatever I do?” 

Somehow Wei Wuxian had the feelings that he should think before answering. He hesitated to answer but also didn't want to lose face after putting on a tough act. So he got up and responded, “You know I'm stubborn.” 

Just as he turned, Lan Zhan tackled him meticulously. Wei Wuxian sensed his attack beforehand but failed to fight back having his wrist tied together. He was sweeped of his feet and propelled towards the table. Lan Zhan pressed his chest down on the cold surface on the table. The impact made the ink brush roll over the paper Wei Wuxian was writing, drawing a fat line on the paper. Even though it was just two lines, it still ticked Wei Wuxian off. “What are you even trying to do!?” 

“Helping Lao Wei.” Lan Zhan answered from above him. Pressed down so closely, Wei Wuxian was protected from the cold. He didn't want to push Lan Zhan away. 

He pouted and whined, “How is it even helping, you know you can't force me into focusing.” 

“You can be motivated.” 

“Does this look motivating to you?” 

There was a rustle of clothes. Wei Wuxian anticipated Lan Zhan’s warm cock in him. He was ready to perk up his ass and be mounted. But what he got was another detection. 

Instead of fucking him, Lan Zhan held forth a shiny object before his eyes. It was a ruyi, a small white jade scepter with a cloud shape at the top with intricate flower branches in its slightly curvy body. 

“This was supposed to be your birthday gift.” Lan Zhan uttered softly in his ears. “But the craftsman delayed my order.” 

Wei Wuxian was perplexed by the gift but Lan Zhan's small mishap made him laugh. He concealed his ugly snorts saying, “Don't sound so sorry, it's not your fault.” 

Lan Zhan hugged him tighter, planting small pecks on his face. “Like it?” 

“Do you ever leave any space for me to dislike your gifts?” Wei Wuxian huffed overwhelmed. “Lan Zhan, each year you go above and beyond, now I don't know what to give you for your birthday. Your initial gift was really a lot, I loved it the most. The waist chain was good too. You could have given me this next year.” 

Wei Wuxian looked at the scepter in disbelief. In general, only royals are gifted scepters. If not royals then scholars with great reputation. Wei Wuxian was neither a royal nor a scholar, let alone a highly reputable one. Judging from the way Lan Zhan kept calling him Lao Wei, Wei Wuxian feels embarrassed that his lover thinks of him so highly. His heart pounded in his chest, he could feel himself tear up. “Your father and your uncle will sue me if you keep spending so much on me. I can't even dare to use it infront of anyone. They'll call me a pretentious bastard.” Not that some already don't. 

“You can use it with me.” Lan Zhan murmured casually. 

Wei Wuxian didn't understand what it meant. He rarely gets the upper hand with Lan Zhan. Every time they fucked and Wei Wuxian wanted to do him, Lan Zhan pressed him down and did whatever he wanted. If he took literally meaning seriously, it should be Lan Zhan holding the scepter not Wei Wuxian. 

 

In his short mental calculation, Lan Zhan held the scepter’s tubular end near Wei Wuxian's mouth. The cold hard jade on his lips jarred Wei Wuxian back to reality and he heard Lan Zhan say, “Lick.” 

Lan Zhan was unpredictable and Wei Wuxian always loved trying anything new. Wei Wuxian complied  enthusiastically, “What's this? Is this supposed to be sexy?” 

The jade surface was smooth in his tounge. It was an undeniable fact that the scepter rod was shaped like a curved phallus.  Wei Wuxian treated it like one. He kissed it with care, licked it like it was the most savouring tanghulu, sucked it whole while moaning shamelessly. He didn't forget to check on Lan Zhan’s reaction either. The warmth he shared increased gradually, his clenched on Wei Wuxian's wrists were tremendous. Wei Wuxian could feel the hotness of his erection through his seven layers of clothes. At one point of his licking Lan Zhan clenched Wei Wuxian's jaws as if he was mad at him for enjoying the delicacy Lan Zhan had offered. Lan Zhan, who wanted to punish Wei Wuxian, was jealous of his own punishing equipment. 

 

“Enough.” Lan Zhan condemned, forcefully pulling out the jade from his mouth. The white jade was shimmering with Wei Wuxian's saliva, leaving Wei Wuxian breathless but excited. He gazed at Lan Zhan mischievously and said, “That was rather fun.” 

Lan Zhan let go of Wei Wuxian, leaving Wei Wuxian prone to the cold air. He didn't listen no matter how miserably Wei Wuxian whined.  Rather, he re-positioned Wei Wuxian in a way that makes his arse stick up, giving his hole an airy touch. Wei Wuxian thought, finally, he was getting the fill he was waiting for. He waited to be penetrated by the hot, blood pumping, veiny cock but was met with extreme coldness. 

“What the-!” Wei Wuxian yelped in surprise. He discovered two things when he turned his head. One, Lan Zhan was fully clothed, he didn't put his dick in Wei Wuxian but the scepter he gifted. Then it made sense to Wei Wuxian why it was shaped like a phallus and why Lan Zhan made him lick it. Two, Lan Zhan tied his ankles along with Wei Wuxian's wrists, Wei Wuxian couldn't move his arms and legs as freely as he wanted. 

“It's too cold-” Wei Wuxian complained, moving despite the obstacles around his limbs. The love of Wei Wuxian’s life presses his back down, sticking him to the surface he was lying on. His wiggling got messy and at one point Wei Wuxian stained his hand with ink and splattered it all over his table, including the paper he was writing on. His excessive movement backfired on him as the foreign object was still on its way to Wei Wuxian's sweet spot.

“Stay still.” Lan Zhan commanded once again.

Having no other choice Wei Wuxian stilled. He couldn't believe how unpredictable Lan Zhan was. Wei Wuxian, who never touched himself before Lan Zhan, stayed pure and refined, Wei Wuxian who didn't even think of putting his fingers in there, only dreamt of Lan Zhan, was now being stuffed by a foreign object. 

“You're the most shameless man to walk on the grounds of Cloud recesses.” Wei Wuxian whimpered. 

In response Lan Zhan said, “Don't be loud or you'll be heard.” 

Wei Wuxian's wanton moans were set free from him. He couldn't control his moaning, not when the object in him was freezing his ass. It wasn't completely smooth for sliding in easily. The flower branches were designed ridged up intentionally to give his insides an extra touch of texture. Despite the fact that Wei Wuxian had taken something way bigger, even though the ruyi wasn't enough, Wei Wuxian's cock was hard as hell. 

“Lan Zhan, It's too cold.” Wei Wuxian cried. 

The man that he called his love, paid him no heed. Instead, he pushed the thing further in Wei Wuxian’s ass. Its curvy body fulfills its goal of spreading Wei Wuxian's hole, so close to touching his sweet place. 

“More,” Wei Wuxian breathed out. “Push it in harder.” 

Seeing that Wei Wuxian started enjoying it, Lan Zhan stopped. He kept the ruyi in Wei Wuxian’s hole, and let go as if his work was done. He gave Wei Wuxian's asscheeks a pat, and handed Wei Wuxian the ink brush again. 

To say Wei Wuxian was bewildered would be an understatement. No word could express the frustration he was feeling. 

“You are going?” Wei Wuxian shouted as Lan Zhan headed for the window. 

“I have patrolling duty,” said the annoying rascal. “Lao Wei should focus on his duty as well.” 

“I was so near!” Wei Wuxian could snap the brush in his hands in two pieces if he wasn't shaking with arousal. 

Lan Zhan left with the message, “I'll be back. If I see no progress….” the, you'll be punished severely, was left unsaid. 

Wei Wuxian, spread out on his study table, ass perked up with a jade in it, could do nothing but whine in frustration. Obviously he wasn't going to write anything, not that his papers were in any condition to be written in. The table was blotched with ink, his paper was painted with smudged prints of his hands,  the white ribbon was tainted. 

Lan Zhan had the care to heat up his brazier near the table, so he wasn't going to freeze, but the position Lan Zhan left him was aching his back to death. When he moved his ass, the ryui would remind him it was still in their, any movement would jolt him with unwanted pleasure. 

Wei Wuxian stubbornly refused to come with foreign stimulation. He counted to six thousand and eighty seven when Lan Zhan next arrived. 

“No progress?” Said the heartless jerk. 

“No progress.” Wei Wuxian repeated. He was mad that Lan Zhan returned so late. “Punish me all you want, I don't care.” 

“Mn.” Lan Zhan hummed. 

He gently picked pouty Wei Wuxian in his arms, giving his aching back a fresh relief. Wei Wuxian refused to look at him, half because he was mad, half because he was very close to crying. 

“Was the punishment too harsh?” Lan Zhan asked sincerely. 

“What punishment?” Wei Wuxian failed to hold back his tears. “This is direct abuse. I'll file a complaint on you.” 

“Mn,” Lan Zhan hummed in agreement. He blew off the candles all around Wei Wuxian’s room, leaving only one which was placed near Wei Wuxian's bed.  Replacing Wei Wuxian on the bed, he freed Wei Wuxian from his knots, though he didn't touch the thing in his ass. It continued to arouse Wei Wuxian, his cock jerking each change in muscles. 

“Er gege, you're so cruel. Help me with this.” Wei Wuxian cried, uncaring of his volume. 

In swift movements, of Lan Zhan’s clothes were off, he laid above Wei Wuxian with a blanket over them. Wei Wuxian was content with the warmth of bed blanket, Lan Zhan's body warmth, his warm mouth in Wei Wuxian’s. Lan Zhan pushed the ruyi further in Wei Wuxian’s ass, as the other hand stroked his erected cock. 

Having held back for more than an hour, Wei Wuxian instantly spills out on Lan Zhan’s stomach. The dizzying feeling quickly subsided when he felt Lan Zhan pulling out the ruyi. The emptiness was quickly filled with Lan Zhan’s scorching cock. Had Wei Wuxian not known the shape of Lan Zhan’s erection, he'd have thought Lan Zhan put in a heated iron rod from the brazier. The ruyi was ice cold, Wei Wuxian adapted to the coldness. Then the sudden change from cold to hot made him feel like he was being melted in the insides.  Wei Wuxian was hungry for warmth, he was dying for Lan Zhan to cuddle him. Finally when he got the chance, Wei Wuxian refused to have any gap between them. They were connected together, yet Wei Wuxian hungrily pulled Lan Zhan for hotter, loud mouthed kisses, touching Lan Zhan everywhere. He squirem and twerked his hips to get more of Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan didn't hesitate to thrust in him with all his force. In the heat of passion, they forgot they were not in the Jingshi bed, but Wei Wuxian's dorm room bed. The bed wasn't as sturdy as Lan Zhan’s bed, resulting in loud creaking sounds with each roll of thrusting. Wei Wuxian too forgot the walls in his rooms are thin, and the moans, as much as he kept them in, would escape his room and reach to his neighbours. 

 

His caring shixiongs would obviously be alerted by the peculiar noise. They knocked on their shared wall from their side, having the decency to ask, “Wei Wuxian, it's midnight. Are you fighting a bug or having a nightmare?” It was Li shixiong's extremely disappointed but not surprised voice. 

“Tell me you're fighting a bug.” what Yu shixiong meant was, he was going to smack Wei Wuxian in the morning. 

 

Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan stared at each other for a good while, before Wei Wuxian cleared his hoarse voice and assured his neighbours that he was okay. 

 

Lan Zhan slumped over him, giggling his heart out. Wei Wuxian was on the verge of digging up a hole to bury the whole dormitory building in the ground. 

“We can't continue, I suppose.” Lan Zhan whispered.

Wei Wuxian enclasped his limbs around Lan Zhan for if Lan Zhan decides to go back to his patrolling. He whispered back, “Not so soon, we just started.” 

Wei Wuxian was a loud whisperer. If he whispered more, his neighbours would get  suspicious of him. Watching how Wei Wuxian failed to maintain his volume, Lan Zhan drew a silencing talisman on the wall. Having a shared wall, the talisman would work poorly, but it was the best they could do while snuggled to each other. 

 It didn't take long to return to what they put a pause on.  They didn't fuck with their usual fervour, Wei Wuxian didn't had to beg for mercy for the first time of their fucking. It was slow and somehow more intimate. 

When they were both satisfied, Lan Zhan cleaned up the mess in their bodies. Tucking Wei Wuxian tightly to the blankets, he placed a kiss on his forehead, “Sleep now.” 

“How can I sleep if you leave me?” 

“I'll return after a few rounds.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” 

 

That's how the night passed down. Lan Zhan would return back after one or two rounds of his patrolling and Wei Wuxian would patiently wait for the return of his lover. Once he returned, Wei Wuxian would warmly welcome the coldness he brought along with him, give him slow deep kisses and long lazy cuddles to warm him up again. They repeated this peculiar act, until Wei Wuxian really felt tired and fell into deep slumber. 

 

Notes:

Wwx and Lwj: we have to be sneaky, no one will know we're fucking
Disciples: bro we fucking know.

*
Wangxian: *kissing on the window*
Wwx intellectual neighbours: bro my Wangxian senses are tingling, too bad it's freezing outside, I ain't opening that window for tea.
..... And that's how, no one saw them kissing.

*

Lqr: hmm, wwx is taking a lot of time submitting his report. He must be writing a lot.
Meanwhile wwx, not even in two lines done: SEEEEGGGGGSSSSS!

*

Wuming: about to say something really heartwarming to his Wei Ying
Lwj: my senses be telling me, someone is stealing my wy, let me check rn!
*
Yes yes,
Two Lan Wangji can't co-exist in Wei Wuxian’s presence. That's why Wuming disappeared.
Aniways, next chapter will be up soon hopefully 🫶

Chapter 52: Ribbon and knots

Wei Wuxian did a lot of research for Lan Zhan's birthday gift. If he put that much effort in writing his dissertation on biling river case, Shufu wouldn't be so disappointed in him. But Wei Wuxian had his priorities. 

Despite the effort in his research, he couldn't find the best gift to give Lan Zhan. He's given Lan Zhan mundane stuff over the years as his best friend, and his best friend took the best care of those.  Like, the peony plant still thrives in his yard, blooming pretty pink flowers every spring and a flower vase that rests beside his bedside cabinet. The portraits he made of Lan Zhan are carefully stored in the safekeeping chest, also bought by Wei Wuxian. Lan Zhan made perfume sachets of the flowers Wei Wuxian gave over the course of their shared lives, they weren't even birthday gifts. When they were children, Wei Wuxian bought him a small bunny shaped doll. Lan Zhan kept it with so much care that it still looked new. He bought silly things like tassels, charms, pendants, combs, decorative lanterns, fans, red candles, and candle holders. He bought whatever caught his eyes and Lan Zhan crossed his mind. Compared to the gifts Lan Zhan gave, Wei Wuxian's gifts were not that thoughtful. 

After what Lan Zhan gave in Wei Wuxian's last birthday, there was no way Wei Wuxian could give anything better. If thought materialistically, Wei Wuxian has to invade the royal palace and steal the King's dragon throne. 

 

“If you give him a random rock from the shore, he'd treasure it like the most precious jade.” Wuming said in an attempt to help. 

Wei Wuxian cringed, “He already has a drawer full of rocks I gave him.” 

If anyone ever opens that drawer, they'd say Lan Zhan was possessed by a child devil. It was not only rocks but colorful bird feathers, dried pine cones, odd shaped seeds, funny looking branches, walnut shells, oyster shells, snail shells, animal bone shells, skulls of birds and frogs and squirrels and animals they can't even guess by the shape of it. 

 

“Am I that bad at giving gifts!” Wei Wuxian groaned, annoyed. He had to watch over the junior the disciples training which wasn't as productive as it sounded like. Most were fairly good at what they were doing, Wei Wuxian only watched over so they didn't slack off. He wished he had something better to do, otherwise his mind wouldn't stop worrying over Lan Zhan’s gift. 

Wuming, rested on his head, mentioned, “You are his gift, what more does he need.” 

In Wei Wuxian's boredom he gave Wuming’s words a deep thought. That was the same thing Lan Zhan said during his birthday, he was Wei Wuxian's gift, and Wei Wuxian really didn't want anything else other than Lan Zhan. He pretended to be Wei Wuxian's groom, they acted as husband and wife, and then the fucked like newly wed couples desperately trying for a baby, multiple times. It was so sexy, Wei Wuxian could see himself back to Lan Zhan’s bed if he closed his eyes. He could still hear Lan Zhan’s hot breaths, his reserved moans, how he groans when he comes in Wei Wuxian’s, his weight on Wei Wuxian's tied up body. 

“That's right!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed having an epiphany. “I am the gift!” 

The junior disciples were weirded out by Wei Wuxian's sudden excitement over nothing. They weren't surprised that Wei Wuxian was talking to himself again, rather curious to what made Wei Wuxian grin that big. This is why seniors don't like it when Wei Wuxian is in charge. 

Wei Wuxian spent the few days of his new year's break preparing Lan Zhan's gift. Lan Zhan wasn't happy that Wei Wuxian would rather spend his time locked up in his dorm room than cuddle together in the rare free time they get.  Lan Zhan tried to trick him into spilling his secret, even during their everyday bedtime routine, he'd ask what Wei Wuxian was making, Wei Wuxian evaded his questions with jokes and trickier tricks, Lan Zhan had no choice but to wait. 

 

Birthdays aren't auspiciously celebrated in Cloud recesses. The best the  disciples can  get is having longevity noodles as breakfast, and some boring rituals. The rest of the day is spent as they usually do. 

 

Wei Wuxian wouldn't let that happen to Lan Zhan. 

The morning of Lan Zhan’s birthday, Wei Wuxian wakes up earlier than Lan Zhan. He's still sore from their previous night, his body having bright marks all over. 

He starts the day giving Lan Zhan kisses, lots of kisses on the face. Lan Zhan wakes up to Wei Wuxian pecking his face, smiling softly as he accepts fate. 

“Happy birthday, Zhan didi.” Wei Wuxian wished.

“Didi….?” Lan Zhan's happy face turns back impassive. 

Wei Wuxian giggled, “Why, don't you like Wei gege wishing you?” He languidly climbs up Lan Zhan, grinning  like a fox. Sitting on Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian wiggles his butt, making sure his ass touches Lan Zhan’s dick.

Lan Zhan’s ears turn red, “Are you…” 

Wei Wuxian smirked, shifting his ass downwards “We never did it in the morning,” 

“Free me.” 

Wei Wuxian sat on the bed in between Lan Zhan’s thighs, squeezing his hips as he made space for himself. He acted as though he didn't know what Lan Zhan was talking about. As if he wasn't the person to put a body locking spell on Lan Zhan. “Free you? You're not even tied.” 

“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan said as if it was a threat. 

“Who are you calling Wei Ying? It’s Wei gege.” Wei Wuxian placed Lan Zhan's legs on his shoulder. He kissed the heels of Lan Zhan’s feet before saying, “Be a good boy now. Let Wei gege treat you today?” 

Lan Zhan took a loud inhale, his toes curling with the touch of Wei Wuxians lips. Wei Wuxian had freed him from his body locking spell to see what the boy does. To his surprise, Lan Zhan lays unmoving, discreetly clutching the bed sheets. 

“You fucked me on my birthday.” Wei Wuxian says as a matter of fact. “So, it's only right if I fuck you on your birthday.” 

Lan Zhan gave him a pouty look and complained, “You do it slow, and worry too much. 

“Aiiyyyaa, are you saying I'm bad at being on top?” 

Lan Zhan averted his gaze, unanswering. His red ears say the answer is in Wei Wuxian’s favor but his face says the opposite. This boy won't say yes, won't say no either.  

Feeling offended, Wei Wuxian spread Lan Zhan's ass, rubbing his cock on the pink entrance. “I only did you once and it was our first time doing this. I was scared shitless of hurting you.” 

He lowered his head planting a breathy wet kiss below Lan Zhan's navel. “How about I prove you wrong today?” 

Lan Zhan relaxed his ass, pressing his heels on Wei Wuxian's back shoulders. His cock hardened by the simple touch. 

Wei Wuxian scoffed, “For someone complaining, you seem very eager.”

“If you talk too much, I'll switch positions.” Lan Zhan threatened him again.

Wei Wuxian pouted, “Keep my face now. Why do you want to walk over me? What am I to you, your doormat?” 

Lan Zhan moved one of his legs and placed his sole on Wei Wuxian's face, pressing his heel on Wei Wuxian's lips. Wei Wuxian was dumbfounded by Lan Zhan's nonchalance. He couldn't help but huff out a surprised laughter. 

Planting another kiss on the heel Wei Wuxian scoffed, “You're the meanest person I know.” 

Lan Zhan acted as though he knew that already. Wei Wuxian didn't delay any longer. He wanted to wipe that smug look off his pretty face. Giving no warning he pushed himself in Lan Zhan's pretty pink hole, achieving a loud perplexed inhale. Lan Zhan had bitten his lips to stop himself from making any sound and Wei Wuxian got afraid that he might cut himself. 

He reached out to stop Lan Zhan from biting his lips, kissing the soft plump flesh, “Don't bite yourself.” Wei Wuxian breathed out, pushing himself further inside. 

Lan Zhan huffed. He tucked a strand full of hair behind Wei Wuxian's ears, saying, “Worrisome.” 

Wei Wuxian recalled what Lan Zhan had said. It is true he worries more than he enjoys when he's the one inside Lan Zhan. He thought he'd get better with another try, but as it appeared, he wasn't focusing on making it pleasant but painless. 

“Maybe because I'm not a big meanie like you.” he pecked a kiss on Lan Zhan’s nose picking his robes from the corners. He fishes out the red string anklet he made and returns to resting Lan Zhan's legs on his shoulders. Kissing the toes, Wei Wuxian enclasped the red anklet around Lan Zhan’s pale slender ankle. The anklet had small silver bells attached to it that any small movement would make enchanting jingling sounds.

“You'll have to keep on wearing this. Always. No one must  hear the bell, got it? It's a secret gift from me to you.” 

“Is this the gift you've been preparing?” Lan Zhan asked. He gazed at the anklet like it was the most beautiful thing to exist, his smile soft and shy. 

“Prepared this just in case I fail to finish the gift I originally planned. This is just one of the three gifts.” 

“Three….” 

“Ay, Less talking!” Wei Wuxian diverted the topic before he accidentally busted his surprise gifts. 

The bells in the anklet were tinged with spiritual energy. Every tinkle will activate a calming spell, giving peace to the heart and mind. When Wei Wuxian started thrusting in Lan Zhan, the bell's clamour soothed his throbbing heart. The mixture of Lan Zhan’s heavy breathing and the tinkling of bells became music to his ears. 

“If I impregnate you today, you'll be able to give me a child by my next birthday.” Wei Wuxian happily informed.

Lan Zhan let out an indignant high pitched hum. His eyes shut tightly as he writhed, crumpling half the bedsheet in his fists. 

“Do you want a son or daughter first? It’d be best if we get twins, a boy and a girl. They'll have your beautiful eyes and my big smile. They can call you A-die, not the old fashioned fuqin. I'd like to be called baba. Lan Zhan, can you imagine, our children will be so good looking and so overly accomplished, suitors will suffocate us with ducks and chickens.” 

Lan Zhan's dark red cock jerked violently as Wei Wuxian babbled about their children. It dripped creamy white liquids in his snow white stomach. Its veins throbbed visibly like they'd burst with any given moment. 

Wei Wuxian thrusted harder, with more force, keeping his rhythm constant, “Don't hold back, xiao gege. Your pretty cock will explode if you keep holding back. This world lacks pretty cocks like yours.” 

“You saw other cocks?” Lan Zhan groaned, clenching his hips . 

His question was so funny that Wei Wuxian snickered, losing his rhythm. “No! It's just known universally yours is the prettiest.” 

“No stopping!” The breathless man complained, giving a weak kick. 

“Sorry sorry sorry, you're just so funny.” 

“Faster!” 

“Yes boss!” Wei Wuxian responded dramatically, muttering under his breath how bossy this man was. 

 

They couldn't go for a second round despite having the energy. Winter didn't mean they could give excuse of cold and go late to their respective duties. As for Lan Zhan, he had to meet his father, uncle and elders as per the usual birthday rituals. Having to spend their whole day together wasn't different from a normal day. Birthday or not, Wei Wuxian always teased Lan Zhan with a swirl of his hips, he'd yank Lan Zhan's ribbon when no one's looking, he'd press a quick kiss either on the cheeks or lips when they cross each other's path in any corner of cloud recesses. He'd wink at Lan Zhan if they were far and accompanied by others. He'd intentionally bump into Lan Zhan during their individual training. In general, he'd be genuinely annoying to Lan Zhan. 

 

“Is being extra shameless part of your birthday gift?” Lan Zhan asked, just as their duties were done for the day. 

“..... If you want to think of it that way.” Wei Wuxian joked, pulling out his tongue. “Now if you allow, i have to go and prepare for your gift. I'll meet you after dinner.” 

“I will not allow it.” Lan Zhan pulled him by his collars, wrapping an arm around his waist. Lan Zhan whined in this tiny childish tone,“Stay with me.” 

Wei Wuxian was very close to giving up to Lan Zhan’s request. He was the love of Wei Wuxian’s life, how could Wei Wuxian not accept Lan Zhan's cute little request. He steeled his heart, figuring a way out without hurting Lan Zhan's feelings.

“Er gege,” he said, resting his head on Lan Zhan’s shoulder. His back to Lan Zhan’s chest, caressing Lan Zhan's face. “I've been preparing this for weeks. If you don't let me go now. All my efforts will be for nothing.” 

“What is it? Why not show me now?”

“Patience is a virtue, Lan Zhan.” 

“Fine.” Lan Zhan, though grumpy, lets Wei Wuxian go. 

Wei Wuxian left with a kiss and swore that, if Lan Zhan didn't like the gift, Wei Wuxian would do whatever Lan Zhan wanted. 

The night after dinner, Wei Wuxian walked to the Jingshi before any watching eyes. He didn't sneak in the Jingshi like he usually did. Everyone knew Wei Wuxian occasionally slept over with his best friend and It was Lan Zhan's birthday. 

The first thing Lan Zhan says after opening the Jingshi door is, “Why are you stiff?” 

“Aiiiyy, not even a welcoming kiss? How mean.” Wei Wuxian didn't wait for Lan Zhan to lean for a kiss. He leaped in the Jingshi with quick steps, directly in his bedroom. 

Sitting on the pile of warm blankets, Wei Wuxian impatiently invited Lan Zhan to sit before him. Lan Zhan obliged, patiently knelt before Wei Wuxian. Unlike other nights, Lan Zhan kept his ribbon tied to his forehead. As though saying, he's a virtuous man restrained over his impulses.His loose hair covered his ears, regardless Wei Wuxian could tell the man's blood was rushing to his dick. Wei Wuxian can't say he was in any better place either. 

Wei Wuxian cleared his voice, “So,” he started not knowing how to proceed. “Aiyaa, I can't think of anything. I used to write yearning poetries and now I can't even come up with anything romantic without getting hard.” 

“Proceed however you're comfortable.” Lan Zhan said resonating impatience with each syllable. 

“Fine, you better not jump on me.” Wei Wuxian warned, pointing at the headband. He pulled out a poorly sewn copy with a blank cover page. His heart pounded hard as he handed the copy to his zhiji. If Wei Wuxian wasn't comfortably cocooned in the blankets, he'd have run away right after handing the copy over. 

On the other hand, Lan Zhan closed the page  as soon as he flipped it open. He stared at Wei Wuxian in disbelief and Wei Wuxian, boiling with shame, buried himself in the blankets. Despite being highly confident of his artistic capabilities, Wei Wuxian was shy of facing his best friend after drawing himself like a egotistical asshole. It was not just any kind of drawings, it was drawings of himself in nothing, bare body, naked,clotheless, skin and no garments.

The copy was full of erotic paintings of himself and as the pages turn, there were pornographic paintings of him and Lan Zhan doing the deed.

“Is this why you borrowed my mirror?” Lan Zhan's ever pleasant soothing deep voice reached his ears. He peeked out of his blanket armour of shame to find out that Lan Zhan was proudly, attentively scanning the drawing, a page where a naked Wei Wuxian was laid on his stomach with his head leisurely resting on his arms.

“Your mirror is bigger.” Wei Wuxian murmured. He didn't have the heart to mention he couldn't see his ass properly with the small mirror. 

“I should buy a bigger mirror then.” Lan Zhan uttered, not moving his eyes from the page. And it was only the first page. 

Seeing how enthusiastic Lan Zhan was, Wei Wuxian felt more confident in himself. He peeked his head out of the blankets, shifting and leaning on Lan Zhan’s shoulder. 

“Tell me you're joking.” 

“Not telling.” 

“What will you say if anyone asks why the huge mirror?” 

“I'll say,” Lan Zhan says, putting his finger on the page where the swell of his ass is drawn, “I need it so Wei Ying can draw his ass better.” 

Wei Wuxian finds it both funny and embarrassing. He hides his burning face on Lan Zhan’s warm neck, whining about how mean Lan Zhan was to always bully Wei Wuxian. 

Lan Zhan was unaffected by Wei Wuxian's whining. He carefully traced the line with the tip of his nail around the compound of his thighs and ass as he added, “This line will go like this, a bit higher and curved.” 

Wei Wuxian playfully punched Lan Zhan, “Heavens, are you being an art critic now?” 

“Only letting you know-” 

“-that I have a big ass?” 

“....As a compliment.” 

Wei Wuxian blushed again. He tried to change the topic of his ass shape to something his heart could handle. “Just turn the pages, alright!? Maybe you'll find something to your taste.”

“I did not say I disliked it.” 

Wei Wuxian knows. He could feel the heat radiating from Lan Zhan’s body through the layers of blankets. The pulses on Lan Zhan’s neck were throbbing visibly. Wei Wuxian controlled the urge to lick on the pulse for if he does, Lan Zhan will be flipping him instead of the pages of his artworks. 

The next few hours, Lan Zhan flipped through each page, staring at the erotic poses Wei Wuxian drew himself in. In some pages he emphasised his cock, in some his ass. Lan Zhan traced his thumb over the page where Wei Wuxian drew himself lying in his back, his wrists tied with Lan Zhan’s cloud patterned ribbon and the waist chain dangling loose around his dantian.

As the pages turned, Lan Zhan came across the pages where Wei Wuxian drew himself tied up with ropes. The rest of the pages had Wei Wuxian's tied up body being fucked by Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian drew Lan Zhan's body, his hard cock from memory alone, but failed to imagine his own pleasured face. He covered it up by drawing messy hair which gave it a feel of roughness. He noticed how deep Lan Zhan inhaled, controlling his mind and body with meditative breaths.

“Since you always like to tie me up, why not go overboard? Like it?” Wei Wuxian coquettishly asked.

Lan Zhan nodded in small. 

“Speak.” Wei Wuxian demanded. 

“Mn,” Lan Zhan nodded again. “I like it.” He exhaled and awkwardly asked, “Where did you learn this from?” 

Wei Wuxian was too embarrassed to expose the truth. But he's never lied to his zhiji either. “I sacrificed my pride and asked Huaisang where he buys spring books from.” 

Lan Zhan cringed, mouthing why Huaisang. Wei Wuxian snorted because it really was cringe to ask for help for this but how else was Wei Wuxian going to learn of spicy sex knowledge growing up in a strictly secured sect. He fears most Lan had to spend their whole life unbeknownst to all the hot things they could do with their partners.

“Er gege, aren't you glad to have me? I crossed the seven seas to collect spicy spring books. I spent millenia into a making a spring book especially for you,with everything you like.” 

Lan Zhan huffed and hummed. 

“If there comes a day when I'm not with you. You can pleasure yourself with this.” Wei Wuxian joked without thinking. 

However, Lan Zhan didn't like the joke, “Why'd you not be with me?” 

“I don't know. Anything is possible. Maybe I went to night hunt with another group and you had to stay behind. Or like before, I'm, once again, invited to a certain sect by a certain family for a certain reason-” 

“That is not happening again.” Lan Zhan declared turning his body to Wei Wuxian to prove his point.“I will not let it.” 

Wei Wuxian quickly pulled Lan Zhan into a kiss before the boy could get any madder. “That was a joke! Relax.” 

“Do not joke about it.” Lan Zhan pouted. He was so mad that he didn't kiss Wei Wuxian back.

“Alright, alright. I made a mistake. Lesson learned.” 

Lan Zhan relaxed, his shoulders slouching. His little frown dissipated but he still had a dark look on his face. He slowly uttered, “This mistake must not go unpunished.” 

Wei Wuxian's blood turned cold and then turned hot. He has a good grasp over Lan Zhan’s ‘punishments’ and he hated how excited it made him feel. 

“Right?” Wei Wuxian whispered impatiently. “This foolish one needs to be punished.” He threw away the blankets he had wrapped around himself. Standing on his knees, Wei Wuxian towered over Lan Zhan. 

Arching his back daintily, Wei Wuxian spoke in a breathy voice, “You should tie this one up in ropes. Restrain him from running away. You should bind his eyes and gag his mouth.” 

Untying the knots of each piece of garments, Wei Wuxian delicately removed his robes. He revealed his pale chest garlanded with a black ribbon. His dusty pink nipples, striking out in  the dark frame of knots. The ribbon goes from around his neck to form a diamond shape on the sternum, the knots go beneath in criss cross pattern following his waist and lower abdomen. The ties go around his waist to the back around his ass and return to frame around his pubes. The ribbon framed around his cock, tickled his sack within every small movement, sending shivers to his spine. 

Wei Wuxian proudly displayed himself before Lan Zhan as Lan Zhan stared at him like a hungry predator. 

He leaned down and pulled out Lan Zhan's forehead ribbon with his teeth, letting it fall beneath his knees like it meant nothing. 

“Lan er gongzi should fuck this venerable one so rough that he never makes such mistake again. Lan er gongzi must mark him up to let everyone know who he belongs to.” 

 

Wei Wuxian was hard just by thinking of how Lan Zhan would slam him down to fuck him right there. His expectations didn't meet the reality as it turned out Lan Zhan had more self control in him than Wei Wuxian initially thought. 

The man calmly wanted to know if the ribbon roll had more ribbon left to it. Wei Wuxian pointed to his clothes where he had kept the ribbon roll. 

“I believe it was hard to tie yourself alone.” Lan Zhan said returning with the roll and a scissor. 

“It was. I had to redo the knots eight times.” Lan Zhan was stupidly nice when Wei Wuxian wanted him to be mean. It made him more embarrassed of himself. 

“You could have told me. I don't mind wrapping my own gift.” 

Lan Zhan’s hoarse voice made Wei Wuxian harder. He couldn't meet Lan Zhan in the eyes as the man examined the knots to learn how each was done. 

“It's getting late. Why don't we start as it is?” Wei Wuxian suggested. 

His suggestion was neither appreciated or accepted by the man before him. He carefully made Wei Wuxian kneel with his forefoot bent for leverage and asked, “Do you remember what you said?” 

Before Wei Wuxian could understand what Lan Zhan was talking about, the man took Wei Wuxian's white ribbon from him and tied it around his eyes. 

“Ah!” Wei Wuxian gasped remembering. “Er gege, my sweet er gege. That was just me dirty talking. Don't listen to my nonsense.” 

“You don't want to do this?” Lan Zhan asked, holding Wei Wuxian's hand to guide it to his own hard cock. Wei Wuxian gasped at the touch of his cold finger tips touching the tip of his hot dick. As soon as Wei Wuxian pressed his tip with his thumb, Lan Zhan yanked his hands away, tying his wrist like he always does.

Wei Wuxian understood Lan Zhan wasn't going to be easy. “I do! I do!” he said. “Just be gentle and nicer, okay? Don't tease me like this mffh-” 

Wei Wuxian's mouth was stuffed with something cold and rock hard. He didn't have to see it to know it was Chenqing. He knows it's cold texture on his lips by heart. Wei Wuxian didn't think Lan Zhan would be as imaginative as to use Chenqing as a mouth gag. 

Lan Zhan pressed Chenqing vertically in his mouth, ordering him to clench his jaws on it. Wei Wuxian couldn't spit it out even if he wanted to. Chenqing’s both sides were tied with the black ribbon and one final knot at the back of his head. 

Wei Wuxian smirked trying to say how mean it was of Lan Zhan to take his freedom of speech but all he could let out was muffled whines. Lan Zhan took his hands, united them and placed them behind his back. There were sounds of pages turning, meaning Lan Zhan was taking inspiration from Wei Wuxian's drawing to tie his hands. 

From the feel of it, Wei Wuxian recognised which knot it was that Lan Zhan liked the most. It was easy to draw, but figuring out how the knots worked was hard. Lan Zhan seemed to be doing pretty good with the ribbon knots, Wei Wuxian was not. 

The silky friction of ribbon with Lan Zhan’s warm feathery touches were like sparkles of fire in his heart. Lan Zhan moving him around, telling him what to do, holding him still when he moved too much, all of it was no less than actual sex. 

Wei Wuxian was losing himself. 

The binding was tight enough to redden his sensitive pale skin but not so tight that it'd bruise or harm his blood circulation. The binding process itself made Wei Wuxian leak though he was trying his best not to cum. The main course hadn't even started yet. 

Wei Wuxian's eyes were blindfolded but he could feel Lan Zhan's hungry gaze on him. He could sense Lan Zhan devouring him with eyes alone. 

But that was never going to satisfy Wei Wuxian. He wanted that mouth to sink in his flesh, he wanted to be touched, he wanted that cock in him. He complained and cried how uncared for he was. His cries were sent back to his throat. His jaws were starting to ache from biting on Chenqing too hard. 

 

Lan Zhan really did punish him by not giving Wei Wuxian what he wanted. His hand roamed around all over Wei Wuxian's body, squeezing his muscles, occasionally pulling the knots hard enough to hurt. He kissed the exposed skin off his pectorals, his stomach, his thighs. Lan Zhan intentionally skipped touching Wei Wuxian's twitching cock.

Wei Wuxian was frustrated. He kept whining until Lan Zhan pushed on the mattress. The bindings didn't allow Wei Wuxian to move, let alone lay in a comfortable position. Lan Zhan tied his knees and thighs together with his arms, which allowed Wei Wuxian's ass to be perked up with no effort. 

Wei Wuxian came as soon as Lan Zhan touched Wei Wuxian’s hole with his hot hard cock. He came so hard that his ears rang with white noise. Breathing was hard with a gag on, and he was drooling from his mouth. 

“I did not even start.” Lan Zhan uttered in his ears pitifully. 

Wei Wuxian wanted to say ‘Give me a moment’ but the gag muffled it again. 

“Punishment shouldn't be delayed.” Saying so, Lan Zhan thrusted in slowly. 

The love of his life was kind enough to go slow but not kind enough to let Wei Wuxian catch his breath. Wei Wuxian complained about it despite knowing he won't be able to say anything properly. When Wei Wuxian whined too loud, Lan Zhan would thrust in with more force.

As always Wei Wuxian ended up begging for mercy for the rest of the night.

Notes:

Writing sex scene are just hard t_t

Also, I love how sometimes, Huaisang's sole purpose in Wei Wuxian’s life is to teach him sex stuff.

Chapter 53: Prophecy

Notes:

Warning!!!

It was spring. Like most spring, Cloud recesses buzzed with the hum of bumble bees and scent of magnolias. Hallways and classes were filled with murmurs of the expected arrival of guest disciples and hushed giggles of young disciples. As a senior disciple, Wei Wuxian along with Lan Zhan, volunteered to teach the Lan kids swimming. Swimming lessons were mandatory by the age of seven for every Lan disciple. Unlike the Yunmeng Jiang, the disciples of Gusu Lan were only given basic swimming sessions enough to float on water.

Wei Wuxian remensic the time he spent in Yunmeng swimming in the lakes of lilies and lotuses. He'd lost the swimming compensation with the Jiang disciples. They were so happy to know that there was a field Wei Wuxian wasn't expert in, they taught him all the swimming tricks and different strokes they had. 

Back then, it was early autumn, lotuses and lilies were mostly withered. They said swimming was more exciting during the times of spring and summer, going as far as telling him to visit again. Wei Wuxian is unsure if he'll ever be able to step in Yunmeng, let alone in Lotus pier. He's lost contact with Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng, no news of them arrives to him, nor does he have the guts to ask anyone. 

 

“Focus.” Lan Zhan reperminind him back from his thoughts. He looks at him sternly but also with concern. His chest and shoulders appear broader with the shirt, his legs felt longer with the flowy robes gone. Wei Wuxian wanted to climb him, wrap his limbs around him like an octopus. He wanted to do things that would have traumatised the young Lan children. 

“Stretching is no fun.” Wei Wuxian complained about stretching his body one last time. The kids were quite rule-abiding or maybe they were just afraid of Lan Zhan. Their age differed from seven to nine, his favourite shidi Lan Yawen being one of them. They stretched as Lan Zhan taught, following Lan Zhan in every step like ducklings following the mother duck. It was cute until it bored him. 

“Kids, watch how i swim okay? You can learn by watching too.” Saying so, Wei Wuxian took a few steps back, and ran towards the deck of the pond. He dived in the water with a big leap, getting the kids excited. They were no longer the rule-abiding, Lan Zhan fearing kids, but kids who love to giggle and play and jump around. 

Wei Wuxian afloat on the water surface, demonstrating how they can float, and how they should kick the water. When Wei Wuxian was done demonstrating freestyle swimming, he started flaunting all the other styles he learned from the Jiang disciples. He flaunted his skills with back strokes, reverse back strokes, side strokes, combat side strokes, breast strokes and the most beautiful one, the butterfly stroke. 

The kids were awed by Wei Wuxian's performance. Lan Zhan on the other hand was too stunned to speak. He had a funny expression on his face, the expression that says he'd have ravished Wei Wuxian had they been alone. The way Lan Zhan looked at him, full of lust and yet composed, made Wei Wuxian hot despite the cold water. Mischief tickles his stomach seeing the man so composed. The desire to dishevel him grows stronger the more Wei Wuxian waits. He wants to shout, get me if you want me so bad. 

 

Obviously Wei Wuxian isn't evil enough to scare the little kids with their promiscuity. He playfully splashed Lan Zhan, indicating him to clear his dirty mind. The kids were too innocent to catch their lustful gazing at each other, too excited to care why their swimming choices were being weird. They were busy requesting Wei Wuxian to teach them butterfly strokes.

“Wanting to run before you learn to crawl?” Wei Wuxian scolds with a smile. “Learn to float on the water first.” 

The kids were naturally disappointed. They got in the shallow water where they could stand on the porch rocks. Lan Zhan gave them their planks to float and complained seeing his students dejected before they even started, “Take responsibility for what you've done.” 

Wei Wuxian was positively baffled, “What do you mean take responsibility?” 

“Had you not shown them any tricks, they'd have not been dejected to learn the basics.” 

“Da-shixiong, are you saying I don't know how to teach my students?” 

Of course Lan Zhan did not mean that. He was also confused why Wei Wuxian was getting angry. Wei Wuxian discreetly winked at the confused teacher, signing him to continue their pretended fight. 

“....I… mean to say you should have known.” Lan Zhan slowly caught on what Wei Wuxian was trying to say. 

“What?” Wei Wuxian scoffed, acting with all his potential. He swam further away from the shallow waters. “If you are such a great teacher why don't you teach them alone!” 

As expected, Lan Zhan followed after,  keeping up his act, “You must not abandon your duty.” 

“You do not like my way of teaching.” Wei Wuxian continued swimming to the centre of the pond. “I don't want to be where I'm not appreciated.” 

“Wei Ying!” From that far, it was doubted that the kids could hear Lan Zhan’s mild tone. 

Wei Wuxian turned around. He decided they had strayed far enough from the kids. Wei Wuxian proceeded with his last act, the act of clashing with Lan Zhan. He pushed Lan Zhan as they floated in the water. His face showed anger. Knowing the kids can't hear them, he said in a low voice, “Following me wherever I go, you perverted man.” 

Lan Zhan clutched his collars, “What are you trying to do?” 

“Hold your breath, when I say three we're going to dive in, for a long time.” 

“They will get scared.” 

“That's the point.” Wei Wuxian held Lan Zhan's shoulders, putting the facade of a real fight. 

“Despicable.” Said Lan Zhan, play fighting as well.

On the count of three they dived under the water. Sunrays was brightly refracting in the azure water. They dived deeper til they could see the long kelps swaying elegantly, along with curious fishes. Wei Wuxian glanced at Lan Zhan, and found Lan Zhan’s gaze already on him. Under the water, his skin looked paler but somehow more more beautiful. His loose hair and white ribbon floated upwards and swayed in the water in slow motion. Form Wei Wuxian's perspective, Lan Zhan looked a local pond spirit, a really beautiful pond spirit. Lan Zhan pulled Wei Wuxian ponytail ribbon open, letting his hair float as well. He can't tell who it was that crossed the small distance  first. Perhaps it was Wei Wuxian to close the gap, or perhaps it was Lan Zhan who pulled Wei Wuxian closer for an underwater kiss. It didn't matter who it was, what mattered that they had the same mind and heart. 

Being cultivators, they had excellent lung capacity. It was not hard for them to hold their breaths for a good amount of time. Given that they both wanted to kiss each other breathlessly, air was nothing to worry about. Under the water, where no one could see them, Wei Wuxian really wrapped Lan Zhan like an octopus. They sucked each other's tongue, grinding against each other with zero force and nothing to lean against on. That was until Wei Wuxian heard the wails of children. 

They both stared at each other with shock that said that they both forgot about the children waiting for them to resurface. The wails of children calling their name got louder as they swam up for water. 

“We're alive! We're alive!” Wei Wuxian assured as soon as his head was above the water.  

“Wuxian gege!!” The children's cried huddled in the deck. Their faces red and painted with tears, they looked unbearably cute for Wei Wuxian to not squish their chubby cheeks. 

“Yes yes, don't worry, Wuxian gege is here now.” Wei Wuxian pulled them in a big group hug. “See what happens when you don't listen to Wangji gege.” 

They all nodded. 

“Wangji gege is a bully,” Wei Wuxian sang, “He'll be angry if you don't listen to him.” 

Lan Zhan glared at him and it made the kids all the more scared. They learned to float on the water quicker with the scare Wei Wuxian gave them.

“Aren't we really good at handling children?” Wei Wuxian joked as he and Lan Zhan watched the kids float with planks and kick the water. 

“I doubt.” Lan Zhan mocked. “You made me the villain.” 

Wei Wuxian snickered, the kids were rightfully scared of Lan Zhan. “Treat them tanghulu later, you'll be the hero then.” 

“Their parents will be angry if we indulge them with sweets.” 

“Aya, who said we'll tell their parents. And besides, don't you think these kids deserve to be indulged. Look at them.” 

Lan Zhan's eyes were full of adoration. His lips curled to a smile, as though he was already listing how many tanghulu to buy, who'd like cherry tanghulu and who'd like orange tanghulu, and who'd want the mixed fruit one. 

Wei Wuxian's heart filled with so much love for the man that he gave a quick kiss on Lan Zhan’s cheek. He hoped none of the kids saw it, even if they did, he hopes, they don't think too much of it. 

“I think we'll be really good parents.” Wei Wuxian says as Lan Zhan gaped at him in surprise. 

Hearing Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan smiled widely. “Of course.” 

“I'll be the fun parent, and you can be the strict parent.” 

Lan Zhan side-eyed him, “Why should I be the strict parent?” 

Wei Wuxian pouted, “Because you are strict. I'm sure you won't let my kids play during nap times.” 

“Nap times are for napping.” Lan Zhan stated. “You're the real strict one. I doubt you'll let my kids sleep if they fail to solve a mathematical problem during study time.” 

Wei Wuxian scoffed. “Hey, your kids are my kids too. How'll they fail to solve a mathematical problem?” 

“Maybe one of our children is weaker in mathematics.” 

“There's no such thing as being weak in mathematics. They just need to practice.” 

Lan Zhan huffed and giggled, face palming as Wei Wuxian blabbers about how it's impossible for their child to be not smart. 

When the children were tired of practice floating, Wei Wuxian suggested they end the session for the day. Each was given a warming talisman, and a tanghulu that Wei Wuxian quickly bought from the town. They were delighted to see the sweets, and even more surprised to know it was Lan Zhan's treat. They lay on the grass, drying themselves under the midday sun.

“Don't tell your parents. It's a secret between us okay?” Wei Wuxian hushed when one kid said his mother would be angry if he ate sweets. 

“Wuxian gege, it is forbidden to lie.” Laid beside him, Lan Yawen reminded. Compared to others, this little one was more aware of the rules, given that his father is a reputable teacher. 

Wei Wuxian pinched Lan Yawen's cheek, “How told you to lie? I'm telling you to not tell your parents that you had tanghulu. You're keeping a secret. Keeping secrets….” Wei Wuxian glanced at Lan Zhan on his other side, “... is not forbidden if it does not harm anyone.” 

“What if it harms anyone?” 

“How can tanghulu harm anyone?” another kid asked with their mouthful. 

“Yes, keep talking with your mouthful and you'll know how tanghulu can harm anyone.” 

The kid actually choked as Wei Wuxian spoke, making everyone burst into laughter. 

In the midst of their shared laughter, the gong was ringed. Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan were alerted by the unexplained sound of the gong.   The gong is only ringed during the morning and night, at the ending and beginning of curfew hours. The only other time the gong is ringed is when there is an emergency. It was very unlikely that someone was doing a prank.

The gong ringed again, and again, and again, synchronising their heart beats. Wei Wuxian froze to the ground, unable to move with the fear of the unknown. He glanced at Lan Zhan and found out the other boy was in no better state. Seeing them alert the kids also got scared. They forgot their indulgent sweets and held each of Wei Wuxians arms. 

“Evacuate to safety!” distant warnings reached their ears.  Evacuating to safety meant one was required to hide in the cold cave. Which didn't make sense to Wei Wuxian.  Such measurements are said to be taken when the sect is invaded by outsiders. All his life, Wei Wuxian spent half his life designing barriers. The barriers his group made were invincible, it was impossible to break. Unless someone broke the barrier rune from the inside. 

Wei Wuxian saw the kids whimpering with fear, calling their parents in low wails. Something terrible has happened, and it was not safe for kids to look for their respective parents. 

“The evacuation test has started!” Wei Wuxian cheered, hoping that his act was convincing enough. When the kids looked at him with confusion Wei Wuxian said, “Do you know? The teachers prepared a surprise test to see which disciple can evacuate to safety first, right Lan Zhan?” 

Lan Zhan was breathing heavily, he breathed heavily, too panicked to play along with his act.

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian reached out, holding the boy's hand tightly.  

Lan Zhan returned from his trance. He glanced at the kids with them and nodded. He added with a calm tone, “Disciples' courage is going to be marked.” 

Getting the assurance from the second jade, the kids were less scared if not encouraged. Luckily for them, the cold cave was not far from the pond they were swimming in. Wei Wuxian led the way to the cave with the kids in line. Lan Zhan followed them from the end of the line, making sure no one got left behind. 

“Yawen, look ahead.” Lan Zhan uttered as they walked. 

Wei Wuxian knew the kid was smart, he'd not be convinced by their poor excuse of an act. Regardless, he was proud how the kid didn't let his fear be known to his peers. He kept his fear in his heart despite being scared. Wei Wuxian picked him in his arms, and continued their silent journey.  It was just yesterday Wei Wuxian first held the little boy. He was so little back then, fitting perfectly in Wei Wuxian's little arms. Lan Zirui’s smile was so brilliant that day. If anything happens to him, his father won't forgive Wei Wuxian. 

They reached the cold cave in quick steps and found a few of the young female disciples present there,  fear paled their faces immeasurably. They were relieved to see their shixiongs, as though they've come to rescue them. When Wei Wuxian asked what happened, one of the braver one murmured they didn't know either. They heard the gong and their Shijies told them to hide there. It was a waste of time to ask the young ones for intel. Unless goes and sees things himself, he won't be able to decipher anything. 

 

“Stay here. I'll check.” Lan Zhan unsheathed bichen. 

Wei Wuxian didn't want Lan Zhan to go alone, but he couldn't let the kids be alone either. Difficult times call for difficult measurements, Wei Wuxian told Lan Zhan to be safe and return with good news. 

The cold cave felt colder without Lan Zhan. The kids that he lied to, figured out Wei Wuxian lied to them, and something bad was outside. One started crying and followed the rest of the few. The ones that didn't cry were reassuring the crying ones that things would be okay. Wei Wuxian also wanted to assure that things aren't as bad as they sounded like, but the words refuse to leave his mouth. 

 

In a few long heartbeats, few of the older disciples barged in with younger disciples in tow. They were also delighted to see Wei Wuxian there. Wei Wuxian immediately asked what happened outside, and they answered “The Wens!” 

Wei Wuxian realised he was not surprised. Deep down he's known, if anyone was to invade the Lan sect, it'd be the Wens. They've always known the Wens would attack one day. Yet, Wei Wuxian wasn't prepared. 

 

He left the kids in the hands of his older shidis. As soon as he stepped out of the cave Wuming appeared aghast. 

“Go back in. You should not be outside.” 

“They are here for the Yin iron.” Wei Wuxian mutters to himself, ignoring Wuming altogether. “I can't sit there and do nothing.”

“Wei Ying, what will you do?” 

Wei Wuxian had no idea what he was planning to do. All he knew was that he can't let the Yin iron be found by the Wens. 

“God damn it, I wish this damn iron didn't exist.” Cursing, he got in the cave where the Yin iron was safely sealed in. The said iron, despite being sealed, welcomed him with a high pitched distant hum. The shrill of iron always hits Wei Wuxian's with a new level of pain. His head starts throbbing while tucking in the iron in his inner pockets. 

“They are going to burn down cloud recesses. You have to run.” Wumings warning was just another head throb. 

“I am running!” Wei Wuxian shouts as he runs back to the main court. The cries and shouts of disciples grow. He asks the fleeing disciples the whereabouts of his beloved. None had the mind to stop to hear him let alone give an answer. Some even held his wrist, dragging him back to where he came from. Wei Wuxian fought through the current of disciples, only to be faced with blood. 

The main courtyard was a battlefield. White and red robes fought the white blue one. The stones that were once inlaid with flower petals, were obstructed with bloodied bodies, hopefully unconscious. They were groaning in pain so they had to be alive. 

Wei Wuxian got caught in the battle among the red sun and blue clouds. He's never attacked another human with the intention of killing. He always thought he'd be afraid to kill anyone. But at that moment, watching his peers lay unmoving on the ground, bloodied and injured he forgot what fear was. 

Rage of revenge burned in him fiercely. It took only a few slashes to kill the group of Wens before him. 

“Take the injured to the cold cave!” Wei Wuxian commanded the uninjured ones. “Also…. have any of you seen Lan Zhan?” 

“I think I saw him head to the library with Yunshi shixiong.” 

Wei Wuxian's feet moved before his mind could think of anything. He was acting solely on instinct and attacking on years of training. The library pavilion was in far worse condition than the main compound. The outer compound had human bodies scattered along with the magnolia flowers. The scene was repugnant. The red blood seeped into the white robes, making it hard for him to recognise Lan robes. He couldn't tell who was a Wen and who belonged to the Lans. After carefully observing he noticed, none of the bodies had a ribbon on their foreheads. He was relieved knowing all those dead bodies were Wens. Wei Wuxian had a feeling Lan Zhan had been there. He glanced inside the library, unharmed, untouched. A boy crawls to the door and as soon as he notices Wei Wuxian, he calls for him. 

In the library, there were uncountable injured disciples. Their robes were painted in red, most possibly their own blood. Those who were in better shape treated the others with the medical knowledge they had. 

“Yunshi ge!” Wei Wuxian found his favourite shixiong propped against a pillar. His face was unrecognisable with all the suffering. He was in no good shape to move. 

“You're not hurt, right?” The man asked as though he was not the one with a bandage around his stomach. 

“I am not.” He held the barely breathing man, transferring spiritual energy. His eyes searched for Lan Zhan and begged the heavens to keep him safe. 

“Wangji is not here.” The injured man could guess Wei Wuxian's thoughts with one glance. “He was, before he ran after Wen Chao. They went left, i can't say where.” 

“Wen Chao…” Wei Wuxian mumbled. Ofcourse, Wei Wuxian thought, Lan Zhan would run after Wen Chao. 

“He wanted to burn down the library.” Lan Yunshi slowly murmured. “He'd have if not for the pleonastic barriers. And then your best friend arrived.” 

“Wen Chao couldn't break the additional barriers!?” Wei Wuxian was relieved to know at least his efforts were not all to waste. 

“Our residential land is safe, right?!” The man, who supposedly left his newly married wife in his home, asked in a weak hopeful tone. 

Wei Wuxian gave the man a confident smile. “I designed the barriers. You can rest assured.” 

He got up to look for his soulmate, giving one final look to the injured peers.

“Just… don't die, okay?” 

Lan Yunshi smiled softly. “I'm going to be a father soon, how can I die without holding my baby.” 

Hearing the good news everyone in the hall was elated. Even when bleeding like hell, they cheered and congratulated the man. In this fearsome battle field, Wei Wuxian felt a little light, like he'd seen a ray of hope. 

As directed, Wei Wuxian went left. The path followed lots of Wen dead bodies. He always knew Lan Zhan was strong. It's the first time he's seen the result of Lan Zhan’s full potential. 

 On his way, he caught the smell of burning. The smoke of fire came from where the disciples' dorm was. It was obvious who was behind it, but when he reached there he was more than horrified. The whole dorm building was on fire, as though Wen Chao carefully planned out where fire spreads faster. Lan or Wen, there weren't any dead bodies. Wei Wuxian looked around and found no inkling of where to go. He noticed the window to his room, on fire and shut. Which is weird, cause Wei Wuxian never leaves his room with the window shut closed. 

His heart pounded with the cracks of wood burning down. His heart told him something was not right. He couldn't think of what to do, Wuming was not there with him either. 

Wei Wuxian ignored the fire. He covered his head and torso with the outermost robe and 

jumped on the first floor roof. He reached to the window sill, pulling the burning window in an attempt to open. He discovered the window was locked from the inside. 

Wei Wuxian was sure then, that something was clearly not right. He slammed the inflamed window with his shoulders till the window cracked open. 

 

What Wei Wuxian saw was poison to his eyes. In his burning room Lan Zhan sprawled on the floor. The floor beneath his leg was shimmering crimson. There was no doubt it was Lan Zhan's blood.

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian jumped in the burning building and felt the floor crack under the impact. Wei Wuxian was in no good mood to give a damn about a cracked floor. But Lan Zhan's well-being depended on him. Despite his heart telling him to run, Wei Wuxian Steadily walked to Lan Zhan’s body. He took the boy in his arms and shook him awake. “Please wake up.” 

There were no other injuries other than the big gnash on his leg.His pulse was falling despite the little amount of blood loss. He checked the leg, swollen and purplish. A symptom that only occurred in bone fractures. The dark colour of blood indicated that whoever attacked Lan Zhan had sedated him. They attacked him in an enclosed space, prisoned him, broke his leg, locked him in and burned the place down. 

Wei Wuxian swore to kill everyone involved in Lan Zhan's attempted murder. He'd kill every single one of them in the worst way possible.

He'll kill them with his very own hands.

 

Lan Zhan's eyelids twitched but he couldn't open them. He clutched on Wei Wuxian's chest tightly, taking sharp breaths. Wei Wuxian waited no longer, thanking the heavens that his soulmate was alive, he picked up the unmoving heavy body, and headed out through the window. 

“Why are you outside?” Lan Zhan said the same thing as Wuming. The stubborn man on his arms could barely talk, yet he painstakingly uttered “Hide. Stay hidden.” 

Wei Wuxian was already on the edge of insanity. Hearing Lan Zhan telling him to stay hidden like he was some docile weak animal, was putting him out of his mind. 

He has to relocate Lan Zhan to safety first. He wondered if the infirmary was still in its place. 

“He was looking for you.” Lan Zhan informed. 

“Who?” Wei Wuxian asked just to know who it was that dared to that Lan Zhan. 

“Wen Chao and… another person.” 

“You don't know him?” 

Lan Zhan struggled to breathe. His breath hitched with pained groans and Wei Wuxian's desire for revenge grew stronger each time. 

“Face covered… Wen Xu is after Ge.” Lan Zhan was too exhausted to use Xiongzhang to refer to Lan Xichen. He spoke in broken words, “Wen Zhuliu, with him.” 

Wei Wuxian's blood boiled. The attack was not just to steal the Yin iron, those Wen heirs  wanted to take their sweet revenge on people they hated. Wen Xu hated Lan Xichen, always trying to pick a fight with him. If Wen Zhuliu was with that guy, Wei Wuxian doesn't even want to imagine what could happen. 

Wei Wuxian had to be there for Lan Xichen. He had no option but to leave Lan Zhan in the library, the safest place he could think of.  

 

“Don't leave! Wei Ying!” Lan Zhan yelled when Wei Wuxian left him in Lan Yunshi’s care. The disciples had general antidote of any poison, enough to refrain Lan Zhan’s condition from getting worse. 

“Stay still, you can't follow me.” 

Lan Zhan was impossible to hold down. He threw off anyone holding him to reach Wei Wuxian. The man, despite injured, fought his peers, limping on his broken leg, just to be with Wei Wuxian. 

In his heart, Wei Wuxian didn't want to leave Lan Zhan alone. His heart tells him, the only place safe for Lan Zhan is in his arms. His heart tells him, Lan Zhan will be cured if Wei Wuxian just kissed him rightly. 

But the world didn't work like that. If he listened to his heart, he'll have to face the cruelty of others' minds. The longer he waited, the more endangered Lan Xichen was. 

Wei Wuxian stepped in the library pining Lan Zhan on the floor. The boy refused to be down. He kept saying he'll fight with Wei Wuxian when his own life was hanging by a thread. If his leg is not given a rest, they'll have to cut it off. If his poison is not treated properly…. 

“Listen to what I say!” Wei Wuxian yelled harshly. He's never been that harsh to Lan Zhan even in his dream. Everyone around him was scared but Lan Zhan glared back at Wei Wuxian. 

Wei Wuxian knows very well how stubborn his lover is. Scolding will get them nowhere, rather tire Wei Wuxian even more. He lowered his voice, speaking gently as one does with hurt children, “You have to stay here. You need rest, hmmm. I promise I'll be back before you even realise it.” 

Suddenly the words of his parents echoed in his mind. Didn't they say the same thing? 

Wei Wuxian felt like a monster. He placed a body locking talisman on Lan Zhan’s chest, frustrating the lover he loved so much.  

Wei Wuxian no longer cared who could see him, who thought what of him. He placed a kiss on Lan Zhan’s forehead, on the forehead ribbon he was not allowed to touch. “Don't exert yourself my love.” 

Tears form in Lan Zhan's eyes. Wei Wuxian doesn't wait long enough to see him cry. 

Wei Wuxian promised he'll be back. 

Wei Wuxian fears he won't be able to. 

It didn't take Wei Wuxian long to find Lan Xichen. 

The first thing Wei Wuxian saw as soon as he arrived at the cold cave was Wen Xu punching Lan Xichen to his heart's content. Watching the scene, Wei Wuxian didn't think twice about jumping on Wen Xu with his own punches. 

No sooner did Wei Wuxian land a hit on Wen Xu’s face, the Wen cultivators surrounded him with their swords. He was yanked away by a strong arm, Wen Zhuliu being the owner. 

 

“The fuck do you think you are!” Wei Wuxian cursed, uncaring about the fact that Shufu, sect leader Lan and other Lan elders were just behind him, each with a sword on their neck. 

 

“Welcome back, Wei Wuxian.” Wen Xu spit out blood, grinning as though nothing happened. 

“Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian, Who do you think you are?” Said Wen Chao, taking steps towards him. “Do you think you're so strong that you can take down all of us?” He let out a heinous laughter. “Like that friend of yours. Do you even know he's being roasted while you perform your monkey dance here?” 

 

“You!” Lan Xichen shouted only to be threatened with swords again. Perhaps, his biggest threat was Wen Zhuliu who was waiting for his master's command. Perhaps that was why even Qingheng-jun feared making a move. 

Wei Wuxian wanted to assure Lan Xichen  that his brother was safe. It was unnecessary. Since Lan Xichen could later guess he was alive judging how Wei Wuxian didn't immediately lose his mind. 

 

“Aw shucks! You saved him!? That's not fun, is it?” Wen Chao lamented looking at a person with a veil on his face, and a naked sword. The blade was tinged green, meaning it was smothered with poison. Wei Wuxian couldn't help but glare at the man and his familiar eyes. He's seen those eyes but couldn't point out who it was. Wei Wuxian couldn't move either. One small movement and everyone's lives were in danger. 

 

“Don't you want the Yin iron? Why are you attacking the innocent?” Wei Wuxian gritted through his teeth. 

Wen Xu, walked around Lan Xichen, “ Yes we want the Yin iron. The Yin iron that Lan gongzi collected, the Yin iron that you shameless Lans hid, the Yin iron that originally belonged to the Wens, the same Yin iron that suddenly disappeared from the cold cave when Lan gongzi looked for it.” He pulled Lan Xichen’s hair, humiliating him in front of everyone. 

“We would have given it to you if it was there, Let Xichen go.” Shufu yelled despite the threats.

“You shut your trap old man.” Wen Chao shouted at the grand master Lan. And no one dares to shout at the grand master Lan. The only person that can call Lan Qiren ‘old man’ is Wei Wuxian and no one else. 

“Fuck off Wen Chao!” A sword nearly slashes Wei Wuxian's neck. “I have the Yin iron.” 

 

Wei Wuxian held the unsealed piece of iron in his hand. Wen Xu signed the cultivators around Wei Wuxian to lower their swords. He commanded Wei Wuxian to hand it over to him. 

Wei Wuxian challenged, “Let everyone go first.” 

Wen scoffed, “Do you think I'm dumb enough to fall for your tricks? No one's safe until I have that in my hands.” 

“How do I trust you keep your words?” 

“It's on you whether you give it to me easily or the hard way.” With Wen Xu’s sign, a disciple in the back was cut. Everyone around him whimpered with fear.

Wei Wuxian heard Qingheng-jun say, “Hand it over, Wuxian.” 

Wei Wuxian's brain stopped working. He didn't want the iron to be in the hands of Wen Ruohan. If he didn't, more lives would be lost. Wei Wuxian has experienced first hand the power the Yin iron holds. If the Wens get even an ounce of control over its power, it was over for others. 

 

Wei Wuxian had very few options.

 

Wei Wuxian's topmost priority was revenge.

 

“Fine.” Wei Wuxian said. “You want it,” He calmly took control of the Yin iron himself, revealing his secret for the greater good, “Come and get it!” 

The souls trapped in the Yin iron, now set free under Wei Wuxian's will, wasted no time to feast on resentment from the Wens. The greater the resent, the tastier the feast. 

Black wisp covered the clear sky, torment souls cried and rejoiced their freedom. Fear and panic were their favorite emotions. 

Wei Wuxian brought Chenqing to his lips and commanded the ghosts to hunt only the Wens. His command was obeyed, Wen cultivators that held their sword in the neck of Wei Wuxian’s close ones, were running for their life. Wen Chao was under a hoard of ghosts like flies on rotten food. The one with familiar eyes were nowhere to be found. 

Wen Xu didn't fear the ghosts, he threw his talismans and spells making his way to Wei Wuxian or rather the Yin iron. He signs Wen Zhuliu to attack Wei Wuxian. 

Wei Wuxian changed his music to a more commanding one. The Yin iron surrounds itself with thick dark resent. Wei Wuxian commanded the ghosts to protect it, but it appeared he put too much resentment in his song. The iron exploded in pieces, its broken shards striking Wei Wuxian, and fortunately Wen Zhuliu as well.

He sees white and blue robes fighting the Wens. If he was correct, Qingheng-jun was fighting Wen Zhuliu with the help of a few others, one of them had to be shufu. 

Wei Wuxian always wanted to see shufu fight a real battle.

He sees Wen Xu flying away on his sword.

Wei Wuxian's vision blurs. His legs fail to keep him standing. He had not breathed while playing Chenqing. His lungs were burning. He heaved and felt like swords were being stabbed in his chest. Sticky liquid trickled down his nose, Wei Wuxian saw his knuckles were smudged in red paint after he wiped his nose. Paint couldn't come out of his nose, so it had to be blood. He blinked to see if it really was his blood. Instead of tears, the same shade of liquid dropped on the back of his hand. 

Wei Wuxian probably was dying. It is what happens to those who try to control the Yin iron. It was a prophecy. Repeated to him time after time. Trying to control resentful energy will lead him to death. 

 

He wanted to apologise to Wuming. Why wasn't Wuming with him during his last moments. 

 

Wei Wuxian was dying.

 

But he promised Lan Zhan he'd return.

 

Wei Wuxian thought of his parents. They must have felt the same guilt Wei Wuxian was feeling. 

 

Not being able to keep their promise of return. 

 

Dying. 

 

“I want to live.” Wei Wuxian hears himself weep. 

 

He sees boots running towards him.  He hears his name being called, “A-Xian!”

 

How he wished it was Lan Zhan who called him. 

 

“I don't want to die.” 

Notes:

You've been warned.
Spoiler alter Wei Wuxian is not dead, tml ♡

Chapter 54: "Misfortune follows me like a hungry dog"

Wei Wuxian dies, a thousand time, a thousand ways. 

Wei Wuxian died when he was five. Buried under snow. Shivering till his lungs froze and heart  quieted down like the winter nights.

 

No, that was not the case. He survived the lonely cold.

 

Wei Wuxian died when he was young. Fighting for food with animals in the streets. His flesh consumed and blood sipped like wine. 

 

No, that wasn't right. He escaped, survived the attacks.

Wei Wuxian died out of hunger. No morsel of food in his stomach. His sight darkened, malnourished, diseased. 

 

No, he was stronger than simply dying of nothing.

 

Wei Wuxian died when Madam Yu hit him with her activated Zidian. His young body zapped with purple lighting. 

 

That's not possible, why'd the Jiang mistress hit him? 

 

Wei Wuxian died in the mount muxi cave. Slaughtered by the monster he was slaughtering. 

 

It can't be true. Wei Wuxian has never been to mount muxi. 

 

Wei Wuxian died in the massacre of Lotus pier. Whipped to death by zidian, burnt alive by the Wens. 

 

What Lotus pier massacre? What was he doing in Yunmeng? 

 

Wei Wuxian died giving his core to Jiang Cheng. Cut open abdomen, losing blood. Wen Ning held Wei Wuxian in his arms as he breathed his last breaths with a smile. 

 

That's not even possible. How can a core be removed from one's body let alone be transferred. Why'd Jiang Cheng need it from him of all people? Why'd Wen Ning be there? 

 

Wei Wuxian died in the burial mounds. Thrown away from great height, Wen Cho laughs as Wei Wuxian swears to hunt him to death. 

 

But he's sure he defeated Wen Chao deservedly. Wen Chao couldn't have survived the ghouls, how'd he take Wei Wuxian away to the burial mounds? 

Wei Wuxian died in the compound of Sun palace. Thousands cursed his birth, chest pierced by their arrows and swords. 

 

Why'd he be the target of thousands? What great sin could he have done? 

 

Wei Wuxian died by his own will. Ghouls and humans laughed at his ill fate. Fate mocked Wei Wuxian. Ghouls and ghosts devoured his flesh and bones. 

 

Pain….  Unbearable pain….

 

Wei Wuxian gasped awake. He was surrounded by darkness. Everything was quiet except for the sound of his sharp breathing and the beating of his heart. But that also meant he was breathing and alive. Sweat covered him but his body was as cold as dead. He was in bed, covered by a big blanket. Wei Wuxian smelled sandalwood incense veiled the room he was in. It didn't smell the same as it did in Lan Zhan's quarters. His beddings didn't have the musky fragrance Lan Zhan's bedding had. 

 

Wei Wuxian wasn't in the Jingshi, that was for sure. Hopefully Wei Wuxian was alive and Wei Wuxian was not dead. And the darkness in the room was caused by the lack of light. 

 

Wei Wuxian was honestly afraid he might not be as alive as he thinks he is. 

 

“Wuming…” Wei Wuxian mumbled, fearing that he'd lost his luck. 

“I'm here.” Wei Wuxian hears the voice he was praying to hear. He got up and searched in the darkness. The blanket spooled around his torso to reveal Wei Wuxian's upper body covered only in his undergarments. The collar of his shirt buttoned down loosely, his hair let loose. 

“Where are you?” Wei Wuxian searched in the darkness. “How long have I been out?” 

“Not long. I'm here.” Wuming replied. 

Wei Wuxian's sight adjusted with the darkness. The room looked familiar but his mind was focused elsewhere. 

“How long is not long? I still can't see you. If you're playing tricks on me, I swear it's not funny.” 

“It's evening. You lost consciousness this afternoon.” 

Wei Wuxian is surprised he woke up from his consciousness that quick. He didn't expect himself to wake at all.  

Wei Wuxian was concerned for Lan Zhan's health. Moreover, he was concerned for Wuming.

“Wuming….” Wei Wuxian uttered hesitantly, “Show yourself.”  

“I am here.” Wuming responded sounding slightly scared himself. 

“Then….. why can't I see you?” Wei Wuxian whispered. He could feel an ominous presence, the ghastly presence that follows him. It wasn't Wuming’s presence and it terrified Wei Wuxian. 

Wuming doesn't answer him and Wei Wuxian’s fear grows with each prolonged silence.  “Keep speaking, hey… don't-” 

 

“Have you finally lost it?” Shufu's voice came to the room before the man himself stepped in. Wei Wuxian got up to his feet as soon as he realised he was in Lan Qiren’s quarters, in Lan Qiren’s bed. He wanted to greet the man with proper salutations but the words were stuck in the back of his dry throat. He managed a bow despite the fear of Wuming disappearing for the rest of his life freezing his body. 

“What is the point of bowing when you don't know to respect my words?” The man's words made Wei Wuxian's heart stop. 

He knew Lan Qiren would be greatly disappointed. He knew from the moment he took control of Yin iron infront of everyone that the Lan elders would be displeased. Lans would rather watch the world burn than doing anything that goes against their rules. Despite it all, Wei Wuxian had a small hope that Lan Qiren would understand why Wei Wuxian decided to use resentful energy. His childish heart had a little hope that Lan Qiren would be proud that Wei Wuxian saved everyone at the cost of his life. 

“Why are you quiet now?” Lan Qiren mocked. He didn't raise his voice. His voice was low and calm, and it scared Wei Wuxian more. 

Wei Wuxian's chest tightened as he forced himself to speak, his trembling hands clutching the hem of his shirt. His mind was erratic with thoughts. Wuming wasn't there to soothe his fears down. He was gone. What was Wei Wuxian supposed to do without him? It was all his fault that Wuming was gone. 

“Was I not clear when I forbid you from resentful cultivation? Where in my teachings did I lack that you take the orthodox path over the right!?” 

“Wen Xu would have killed Xichen Ge!” Wei Wuxian cried through his erratic heart. His throat hurt like the words had sliced through his mouth. He struggled to breathe as he forced his thundering heart to calm down. “Wen Zhuliu was right there! The moment Yin Iron was in Wen Xu’s hand he'd have melted Xichen Ge's core!” 

“Do you think we'd have let them live if they harmed our first heir?” 

Lan Qiren’s words made Wei Wuxian laugh. His breath was sharp and shallow, anger was creeping up to his fear. “You'd wait till they made their move? You know they hurt Lan Zhan, they tried assassinating the second heir, they said it themselves. You were there. You heard Wen Chao. They poisoned your second heir. And you'd still wait until they…. took their lives?!” 

Lan Qiren gritted his jaws, fist clenched tightly. He couldn't give Wei Wuxian a proper answer. Before he could, Wei Wuxian mocked, “Right! That's what you've been doing. You knew these Wens will attack the cloud recesses one day, they'll want the Yin iron. And you patiently waited for them to make the move.” 

“We waited because we knew they'd kill themselves if they took control of Yin iron.” Lan Qiren responded calmer than before. 

“What if they succeed in controlling its power? I was able to control it. What guarantee is there that the Wens can't?” 

“What else was there to do?” The man asked, mocking Wei Wuxian back. “Use resentful energy to destroy it as you did?”

“What's wrong with it shufu?” Wei Wuxian pleaded. He was starting to doubt if he still had the right to call him uncle after going against his morals, disrespecting him like he was not the one to give Wei Wuxian a safe shelter. Wei Wuxian begged his heart to stop pounding like it was the end of the world. “Why do you refuse to study resentful energy? Had we studied the nature of resentful energy, had we studied the Yin iron, we could have! We could have destroyed the Yin iron instead of passing the sealing duty to the next generation, instead of living in fear that someone is going to steal it and use it wrong!” 

“The resentful energy has corrupted your mind!” Lan Qiren snapped.

“I'm fine!” Wei Wuxian refuted shaking his head. His head was already throbbing in pain,  it grew as Wei Wuxian failed to prove his point to Lan Qiren. “I'm not dead. If we do a deep research, I swear we can use the abundant energy for a greater purpose.” 

Lan Qiren shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. He firmly believed Wei Wuxian had gone mad, and was spouting nonsense. He muttered to himself, praying to the heavens to have mercy on him.

“The waterborne abyss!” Wei Wuxian stated. He swore he'd keep it a secret. To prove himself Wei Wuxian revealed his secret in hopes of gaining Lan Qiren’s favor. “It'd be impossible to cleanse had it not been for the usage of resentful energy.” 

Lan Qiren glared at him like Wei Wuxian had cursed the man's ancestors. “You've used the Yin iron before! You stole the Yin iron from the cave before! You lied in your report!?”

“I- I am just saying that- if I didn't lie would you have approved it..” 

“Wei Wuxian, you are the worst student I ever had in my life.” Lan Qiren hissed, his words sliced through Wei Wuxian's heart like blades. 

Wei Wuxian's trembling had stopped, so did his heart. His mind wasn't a frantic mess of voices, it was completely void of thoughts. He fixed his eyes on the floor, tears threatening to pour out. Wei Wuxian took a few steps back, falling to his knees. 

It was useless trying to prove a point to someone as hellbent as Lan Qiren. It was useless to try and accomplish so much just to be called the worst. Wei Wuxian gave up. “I am sorry that I used the unorthodox method. I beg your forgiveness, Lan Xiangshen.” 

 

“It's too late.” Lan Qiren sighed exhausted. “Your faults can not be overlooked. Elder Yan and others want you to be punished accordingly. They declared the punishment of your actions.” 

“I accept any punishment you give me.” Wei Wuxian lowered his head, his voice devoid of any emotion. 

“My elders believe your actions deserve whipping.”

“I accept.”

“Thirteen whips of the discipline whip, not the ordinary one.” 

Wei Wuxian's heart leaped to his throat. Acid raised up to his mouth. He struggled to swallow back his nausea. He'd be crippled if they whip him with the discipline whip twice. Wei Wuxian can't survive thirteen whips all together. 

“Moreover,” Lan Qiren added, “They want you to live in seclusion …. for as long as you can use resentful energy.” 

In other words, forever. 

“I….” Wei Wuxian's voice cracked, “accept any punishment you deem deserving.” 

Lan Qiren scoffed, “You won't live past eight whips. Even if you do you won't survive the sickness seclusion brings. And….” Lan Qiren trailed off. Wei Wuxian glanced up as the man murmured, “If Wangji knows of this he'll take your whippings on behalf of you.” 

Lan Zhan would, Wei Wuxian fears. Like Miss Jiang shared Wei Wuxian's whippings, Lan Zhan would take his punishment entirely. “That's not possible.”  

“It is, in certain circumstances.” Lan Qiren answered. “He knew you were practicing resentful cultivation behind everyone's back, did he not?” 

Wei Wuxian's heart beat spiked. He's dragged Lan Zhan down to the hell hole of misfortune with him. He'd never forgive himself if his soulmate is punished because of him.  “He knew doesn't mean he helped me. Lan Zhan has nothing to do with what I did. How can these elders allow their own second heir to be whipped for something I did.” Wei Wuxian demanded to know.

Lan Qiren stroked his goatee. He sighed in defeat, “I'm saying this because Wangji’s father had done the same. His mother was punished with whippings because she accidentally killed our master. Master didn't want my brother to be married to a wild person like her. He attacked her in secret. He didn't think she'd outdo him, she didn't expect master to die. It didn't matter to our elders that she was wedded to the clan leader, they wanted her to be whipped. My brother didn't allow it. He took her punishment on himself saying he failed master in the first place.” Lan Qiren looked at Wei Wuxian dead in the eyes, “These people didn't hesitate whipping the clan leader. Why'd they hesitate punishing the second heir who encouraged your resentful cultivation practices.” 

 

Wei Wuxian was petrified. Hearing what Lan Qiren said, there was no doubt Lan Zhan would be punished. Fear pressed down on Wei Wuxian like a mountain, crushing him under the weight of guilt and regret. He kowtow his head to the floor, desperately begging “Please don't let that happen. I will… I will talk to Lan Zhan. He will- I'll make him understand. He won't… he will not…” 

“Wei Wuxian,” Lan Qiren didn't hear Wei Wuxian.  He calmly uttered, “I suggest you leave Cloud recesses.” 

Wei Wuxian froze mid sentence. His nails dug in the hard wooden floors. His head throbbed so loudly that he got dizzy. If he wasn't kneeling, he'd have collapsed to the ground. The tears he was holding back all this time, poured down. He gasped uneven breaths trying to say something but nothing coherent came out of his mouth. 

“I'll give you this night. Escape and never return. It'd be best for both of you. By tonight if you don't….” Lan Qiren left with the words echoing in Wei Wuxian’s ears. 

Wei Wuxian crawled to follow Lan Qiren. His weak trembling hands and legs failed to take him to the man. “Shufu! Please. I'll accept every punishment! I won't go anywhere! Please, don't kick me out! Where shall I go! I've nowhere to go!” 

Lan Qiren had already left the room, out of his sight. Wei Wuxian sank to the ground, cursing his weak body for not carrying him, cursing his fate. Left alone in the room Wei Wuxian sobbed and hicced, “Why, why'd this happen? Why'd they punish me, Wuming? I saved them. I helped them. Why do they hate me, Wuming? Can't they forgive me for once? Am I that bad? Wuming… Wuming… say something… please say something… anything.” 

Wei Wuxian didn't know how long he cried. The floor beneath his face was cold, swamped with his tears and snots. He sobbed, stopped,  and sobbed again. Any reminder of his life in Cloud recesses would trigger his regret. He thought, it'd have been better if Lan Zhan never found him in that alleyway, if Lan Qiren never took him in, if Wei Wuxian grew up in the streets. 

But he didn't want to leave either. 

 

He pulled out his forehead ribbon, white and plain, representing the pureness and simplicity of one's heart. The voices in his head laughed at him. They mocked him saying he neither had a pure heart or a simple mind. He didn't deserve to uphold the ribbon. 

 

If he left the cloud recesses, who will take care of Lan Zhan? The war they anticipated was nearing. He wanted to fight alongside Lan Zhan. He wants to make sure Lan Zhan doesn’t get hurt. Wei Wuxian will do whatever he can to delay his punishment till the war ends. Once victory was theirs, he'd accept any number of whippings, he'd stay secluded, prisoned if that's what it means to be near his beloved. 

Even then, the thought of being locked up forever terrified him. Wei Wuxian thinks of Madam Lan, what she must have felt the night before her seclusion started. She must have felt the same as Wei Wuxian, wanting to stay near her family, tolerating the pain, grieving of her free life, just to have a glance of her children once a month. 

Footsteps approach him, a pair of them. Wei Wuxian's senses were weakened. He assumed the footsteps to be Lan Qiren’s. He prepared himself to beg again saying, “Shufu, let me stay.” 

His words were cut mid way as feet pressed over his head. Lan Qiren wouldn't be as cruel as to step on Wei Wuxian's head. Alerted,Wei Wuxian pushed away the person, getting back on his feet. 

“Su She!?” Wei Wuxian roared watching the person before him. “It was you!” The one to attack his soulmate, the one to poison his other half. Wei Wuxian looked for his weapons, except Chenqing there was nothing near him. He took his dizi in his hand but was slow to sense Su She attacking him. That guy wrapped his arms around Wei Wuxian’s neck and clamped a drugged piece of cloth over his nose. Panic surged through him, he failed to hold his breath, inhaling the drugs. There were two other people with Su She, tying up Wei Wuxian's thrashing arms and legs in quick movements. Wei Wuxian was too weak to fight back. 

“Did you think I'll let you go? You destroyed my core, you attacked me, you crippled me, and I'd let you go?! I'll destroy you and everything you love, Wei Wuxian!” 

 

Wei Wuxian shouted for help. His muffled screams were barely audible. Intoxicated by the drugs, Wei Wuxian's world darkened again. One after one, Wei Wuxian cursed in his mind, misfortune followed him like a hungry dog. 

The next time he woke up, he was in a completely different place. His surroundings were spinning or perhaps it was his head that spun. His vision was unclear. His surroundings were dimly lit. If he was correct, the walls were made with rocks similar to a prison. 

“Fuck.” Wei Wuxian cursed in a groggy voice. He half expected to be dead, half wished it to be a bad dream. The Wens attacking, then Su She attacking. He never thought Su She would seek revenge. The mishap didn't destroy his core, he could still use it to some extent. Of course, no one would want to be kicked out of a sect. Wei Wuxian deserved the hate Su She had for him. It didn't mean he'd let Su She attack his zhiji. If he wanted revenge, he should have poisoned Wei Wuxian alone. That pretentious bastard shook hands with the Wens, infiltrated the main barriers to help the Wens attack the cloud recesses. Wei Wuxian wasn't going to let that slide. 

“Where are we Wuming?” Wei Wuxian asked, getting up from the ground he was sprawled on. He was locked in a large prison cell behind iron doors. It wasn't the Lan clan prison. The rocks weren't as cold as the rocks in Gusu. The air was too humid for spring. He was barely clothed, only in his undergarments, yet was sweating from the heat alone as if he was underground.  

“Wuming are we…” Wei Wuxian suddenly remembered the spirit, the soul who had been accompanying him was long since gone. There was no sign of his pale blue tail or translucent scales, the dragon that promised he'd always be with Wei Wuxian, was no longer there. 

 

He promised he'd be with Wei Wuxian forever. 

Right, promises were hard to keep. Just as his parents couldn't return to him, just as Wei Wuxian failed to return to his beloved, Wuming disappeared without a trace. 

Tears rolled down his cheeks. He silently grieved the life he had. 

He wasn't given the time to grieve either. The iron door cracked open with the loud applause of keys. The first person to enter the cell was someone Wei Wuxian thought he'd never see. The man was big and ostentatiously clothed. The sun pattern in his robes blazed under the dim glow of candles. His face was different from the first time Wei Wuxian saw him. He was older and his face showed clear signs of sickness. 

“No need to kneel.” Wen Ruohan chuckled, finding Wei Wuxian on his knees. His guards surrounded Wei Wuxian, saying if Wei Wuxian tries to be smart he'll regret it. 

Wei Wuxian glared at the Wen guards for unsheathing their swords. He wiped his face, baring his mind to be calm and collected.

“I don't like chit chats, I'll get to the point.” Wen Ruohan said, signing his guards. The guards carried a mummified person on a carrier, placing it right before Wei Wuxian. The person covered with bloodied bandages was alive and had a lot to say. From the way he was groaning, Wei Wuxian was sure he was cursing Wei Wuxian. 

Wen Ruohan ignored the muffled groans. He says, “Wen Xu told me you controlled the Yin iron, quite skillfully at that. Not only did you destroy the Yin iron, you were able to do this.” He pointed at the mummified man.  

The guards undid the bandages. What was revealed to Wei Wuxian was the most goresome, horrific, nauseating, thing to even lay one's eyes on. The man before him had no skin over his flesh. His eyeballs hang awkwardly in his sockets. The gums of his mouth bleed on his teeth, he had no lips to speak. The man was screaming in pain of being exposed to air, crying to be bandaged back. 

Wei Wuxian swallowed the bile raising up his stomach. The hair on his body standing with waves of shiver. He feigns being unaffected by the gruesome scene, coldly staring at Wen Ruohan. 

Wen Ruohan had an eerie look of excitement in his face. “I'm not complaining about what you did to Wen Chao. I'm even surprised. One could do this with the help of Yin iron.”

Wei Wuxian was shocked to learn that the man with no skin was Wen Chao. As far as he remembered, he told the ghouls to devour him so that not a hair is left behind. Perhaps it was the fact that Wei Wuxian lost consciousness that the ghouls left him in flesh and bones. It was impossible to bring him back to health. All that waits for Wen Chao is to wait for his slow death. He has no other option but to watch himself slowly decay, watch the meat on his body rot, watch maggots wiggle out his flesh. Wei Wuxian discovered he was no better than Wen Ruohan. Wei Wuxian discovered he had no remorse in his heart to find Wen Chao go through the never ending suffering.

 

“You understand what I mean, don't you, Wei Wuxian?” Wen Ruohan smirked. “I'll make it easy for you. We have an abundance of resentful energy, enough to compare the Yin iron in the caves of Mount muxi. I want you to create another Yin iron or invent something similar that is within my control.”

“I'd rather die.” Wei Wuxian shouted before he could think better. 

Wen Ruohan chuckled menacingly. “I knew you'd say that. Lans and their hellbent stubbornness.” He shook his head mockingly and signed his guards again. 

What Wei Wuxian saw was completely unprepared for. It was Wen Qing and Wen Ning in ragged dirty clothes. Their bodies bruised and tied. His chest tightened to see his friends being dragged in the prison like animals. 

“Wen Ning, Qing Jie!” Wei Wuxian is blocked by the naked swords before he could reach his friends. His friends look at Wei Wuxian with their leftover strength. Their faces were dull and hallowed, as though they've been confined for months.

“Let them go! Why'd you hurt them!” 

“You act really good, Wei Wuxian. I almost believed you had no idea.” 

The voices in Wei Wuxian’s head tell him it's all his fault that his friends are being beaten. It's all his fault. 

Wen Ruohan looks down on Wen Ning and Wen Qing like they were pests. “These betrayers had a pact with your sect did they not?” He took his sword and pushed down the scabbard head on Wen Ning’s hunched back “Did you think I'll not find out?” 

Wei Wuxian watched Wen Ning silently bearing the pain, his sister begging the man to let her brother go. The boy had always put up a brave face years older than his age, but the torture he was faced with was not deserved.

“You either listen to me,” Wen Ruohan threatened sharply, “or they suffer.” The man pointed outside. Getting the signs, the guards hit the doors of the other cells evoking wails and cries of more people. The sound of terror was not only of men but women and children as well. Wen Ruohan had imprisoned Wen Ning’s whole family, the family he so dearly tried to save. 

 

“I can't!” Wei Wuxian gasped, overwhelmed in terror. The wails of children echo in the prison cells. Lives depended on him everywhere he went. 

Wen Ning whimpered seeing him terrified. “I'm sorry, it's my fault. I wanted to save them, but I've failed.” 

“A-Ning, it's not your fault.” Wen Qing reassured her brother. Selfishly, Wei Wuxian wished she reassured Wei Wuxian as well. They were dragged out of Wei Wuxian's sight, leaving Wei Wuxian alone once again.

Wen Ruohan left with his final words. Either Wei Wuxian agrees to help or watch his friends and the villagers burn alive. 

Wei Wuxian was lost. He neither wanted to help Wen Ruohan, nor did he want Wen Ning to die. He didn't have Wuming to help him either. He was once again a child lost in an alleyway, freshly orphaned, alone and scared. No one was going to look for him, no was going to come save him this time. 

 

Shufu would believe he left cloud recesses. Lan Zhan will never know he was abducted

He'll hate Wei Wuxian for leaving him without a word, for breaking their promise. 

He was not prepared for a life like this. He didn't know what was the right thing to do anymore. All Wei Wuxian could do was to pull his hair and cry to himself.

Notes:

The next chapter will take a while. As always, thankyou for reading ♡

Chapter 55: Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there is a garden. I will meet you there

Notes:

The tittle of this chapter is taken from Rumis poetry
Also, warnings: Mention of suicide, attempted suicide, a little bit of self harm, self loathing, and a bit of body dysphoria

One could not tell whether it was day or night locked underground. Wei Wuxian’s feverish body had failed to keep track of time. He'd cry himself to sleep,  have nightmares of death chasing him and wake up to the dread of reality. In his wake, if he wasn't crying, he was panicking; if he wasn't panicking, he was cursing his fate; if he wasn't cursing, he was blankly staring at the walls hearing the wails of children begging to be with their mama or baba. There were sounds of children young enough to be infants. The women there would plead for their lives to let the children be free. Some of the older men would curse the guards out of frustration, and later Wei Wuxian would hear their tormenting screams. 

 

They didn't do anything to him. They left Wei Wuxian alone to contemplate on his own. They gave Wei Wuxian food, as far as prison food goes. The dishes remained untouched, rotting and catching fungus on their own. The cell was built so enclosed that not even a fly could get in. 

Wei Wuxian was capable of inedia for five days. After that his hunger grew and grew, reminding him of his childhood. 

In those days Wei Wuxian was free. Innocent lives didn't depend on decisions he was forced to make. He didn't have the time to feel the fresh pain of losing his parents nor did he have a beloved he missed so much. Back then, he didn't have any time to think of what happened to him or what would happen next, all he did was fight and survive. 

Locked in the stone walls, Wei Wuxian had nothing to do but fight with his thoughts. He kept hearing the voices of resentful souls telling him everything was his fault, telling him to end himself. 

“How long are you going to keep us waiting?” Wen Xu didn't bother to open the iron gates of Wei Wuxians prison cell. Wei Wuxian was thankful he didn't have to see Wen Xu’s face. He wished he didn't hear him either. 

“Do you think we can't do shit without you?” Wen Xu vented his anger on the iron door, kicking it as though it'll hurt Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian didn't bother flinching. He hugged himself tighter,  wishing Wen Xu to miraculously die at that spot. He hears Wen Xu speaking with another person, asking to check whether Wei Wuxian was dead or not. Wei Wuxian hears the small food passing  door crack open, he hears Su She answering in a timid voice that Wei Wuxian was not dead and was disrespecting Wen Xu by not responding. 

Su She’s voice provokes Wei Wuxian's resentment. He wished he had Chenqing to command the countless tormented souls to hunt that treacherous dog till his last breath. 

“Wen Gongzi, allow me to beat some manners in him.” Su She sought impatiently. “I abducted him unscathed as you asked. I don't understand why you think he shouldn't be tortur-” Wei Wuxian hears a body being slammed to the iron door. 

Wen Xu sneered, “Don't forget who you are talking to. I'm not like my dumbass brother to take ideas from some weak roach with a broken core. If you were smart you could have figured out we don't need you anymore. Speak nonsense, and the first to be thrown in the burial mounds will be you!” 

Loud footsteps echo within the walls of the prison. Wei Wuxian had a doubt that Wen Xu would kill him the moment Wei Wuxian was done helping them. Just as he saw in his nightmares, the ghouls in burial mounds were waiting to feast on Wei Wuxian. 

 

Wei Wuxian couldn't help but laugh at karma. Su She, who could have led a peaceful life on his own, decided to take revenge on Wei Wuxian by licking the feets of the Wens. Not just any Wen, Wen Chao, the Wen Chao whom Wei Wuxian incapacitated. Now the masterless Su She suffered on the edge of being killed by the same Wens he sought help from. 

“Laugh all you want, Wei Wuxian!” Su She grunted. “Next few days you won't be able to smile.” 

Wei Wuxian didn't respond. He kept hysterically laughing, sharp and edged with the vicious joy of winning no matter what. The manic cackle echoing through the walls, resonating with the laughter of resentful ghosts. Maybe Wei Wuxian was on the way to be a resentful ghost himself. Nothing about it was funny, yet Wei Wuxian couldn't help but keep chuckling with a twisted grin. 

 

Frustrated by Wei Wuxian's delirium Su She yelled, “You won't be laughing if you knew Wen Xu is after your sweetheart!” 

Wei Wuxian's lungs punctured with a sharp gasp. He clutched his chest, choking on the words that came out of Su She. The prison was silenced at once, except for Su She’s words echoing like a mockery. 

“What did you say! What did you fucking say!” Wei Wuxian crawled to the gates, desperately trying to open the damn door. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks once again. His nails broke trying to fight his way out of the lock. No matter how hard Wei Wuxian slammed or punched, his strength was not enough. 

Su She delighted in Wei Wuxian's despair. He laughed at Wei Wuxian.“Scream! Scream louder,  Wei Wuxian!” 

“Su She you mother fucker! Explain what you mean!” 

“What? You thought these Wen dogs would stop just at capturing your dear friends.” He laughed more and more as he added, “I hate cliches, I swear. But you, Wei Wuxian, sure do know how to make everything fun!” 

“Stop spewing nonsense,tell me what Wen Xu did!!” Wei Wuxian's voice was hoarse. He didn't have the energy to shout. Terror was choking him to death. He doesn't want to hear what Wen Xu did. He wished he died in arrogance. He wishes he dies before the news of Lan Zhan’s death. 

“Oh, don't worry. Wen Xu hasn't done anything to your mistress.” Su She snickered and added with emphasis, “Yet.”  

Wei Wuxian's fuming rage ebbed with confusion. Su She was not speaking about Lan Zhan but some mistress. For a moment he was selfishly grateful that nothing bad happened to Lan Zhan. 

That didn't mean everything was okay. There had been a misunderstanding, and someone else was suffering for it. Heart calmed, he groaned again, “Su She, I swear to God, be clear or fuck off!” 

“What, not afraid anymore?” Su She clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Let me tell you then. Those Wens attacked Lotus pier and killed your in-laws. You hear me, Lotus pier is nothing but ashes now.”

Wei Wuxian's nightmares turned to reality. The countless times he saw the Lotus pier being burnt down to nothing, was actually predicton. The dead bodies of Jiang disciples and the masters of the Jiang sect. Jiang Cheng blaming him for all of it…., and then Jiang Yanli was assuring him it wasn't his fault. She had blood trickling down her mouth. She was resting on Jiang Cheng's blood soaked lap, unmoving as if dying. 

No…. Wei Wuxian trembled, bracing himself against the cold door. He felt as though he was standing before the burning Lotus pier,  toxic fumes filling up his lungs. 

Su She affronted sarcastically, “ Oh don't worry, the lady you had an affair with is still alive and running. Literally running.” 

“Jie!?” Wei Wuxian gasped out from his delusion. He was relieved that his nightmare hadn't been completely true. He was relieved that Jiang Yanli was not dead yet. “What did you do to her! Where is she?!” 

“You'll see your darling soon. Wang Lingjiao is searching for her.  You better keep your eyes open when she is dragged here. You have no idea how these Wen dogs like to fuck.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Su She!” Wei Wuxian punched on the door hard enough to dent. His knuckles blistered, ripped skin bleeding scarlet blood. It didn't hurt as much as to imagine what Jiang Yanli was going through just because Wei Wuxian wanted to be her friend. To watch her be humiliated was worse than watching her dying. 

“You should have agreed to help them before their eyes fell on your mistress.” 

Wei Wuxian's hands were numb from punching iron. He lost all his strength, head dizzying again with another concussion. “That's not what she is…. She is not- leave her alone! Jie has nothing to do with me! Please!” 

“That's the spirit! Keep begging, music to my ears.” Su She laughed as Wei Wuxian begged for Jiang Yanli’s life. The iron door was mocking his weak body each time Wei Wuxian rattled it in attempts to escape. 

“I'll do you a favor,” Su She threw in a small blunt dagger in Wei Wuxian’s cell before leaving him alone. “Pluck your eyes out if you don't want to see Wen Xu’s hands on your mistress….or you can agree to help.” 

Wei Wuxian silently shed tears, staring blankly at the dagger. The blade of the dagger shone brightly.  Wei Wuxian saw his reflection on its thin blade. His reflection looked nothing like the image Wei Wuxian had of himself. The reflection showed him a pale sickly young man. His eyes were red rimmed, swollen and heavy.  The underside of his eyes looked like someone rubbed a handful of dried charcoal. It was sunken so deep that his upturned eyes hung out of his eye socket like Wen Chao's had been. His cheeks were hallowed with fine streaks of dried tears. His lips were chapped dry, cracked and colourless. It didn't feel like the lips that were once so adoringly kissed and cherished. 

 

“Not worth cherishing, not worth living.” The taunting voices laughed at Wei Wuxian. He looked fairly deformed. It wasn't the face Lan Zhan loved. Wei Wuxian felt resentment in himself, for himself. 

He didn't have the right to love Lan Zhan. He doesn't have the right to think of Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan was the second jade of Gusu Lan and Wei Wuxian became… everything Gusu Lan was against. He was a monster who brought misfortune to others. He brought misfortune to the Lan sect, he troubled Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian brought misfortune to Wen Ning’s family. The Jiang family was burned down,  Jiang Yanli was suffering just because of him. 

Maybe, his parents also died because of Wei Wuxian. Maybe if he wasn't born, his parents would still be alive. 

He hated himself. He loathed his existence. If only he didn't exist. If only he was dead. 

 

Wei Wuxian took the dagger in his trembling hands. He held the blade on the vulnerable skin of his throat, just below his jutting bone. Eyes shut tightly, he heard menacing laughter cheering on him to do it. The coldness of the dagger pierced him before the sharpness could. 

Wei Wuxian's heart squeezed out all his courage to slice deeper on his neck. He really didn't want to die, but he didn't want to continue living either. He let out a pained whimper as he felt his skin tearing against the blade, and a drop of warm blood trickle out. 

 

The drop of blood could barely trill down his neck line before a big hand appeared out of nowhere, shoving the dagger far away from his reach. The owner of the hand wrapped himself over Wei Wuxian, holding Wei Wuxian's head securely against his thundering chest. Wei Wuxian's vision was blurry, he saw nothing but the white of the person's clothing. But he felt him before he saw him. He felt his soulmate’s presence in his soul. 

It was impossible for Lan Zhan to show up in the locked prison cell. It wasn't like the person hugging him was unreal either. Lan Zhan’s warmth, Lan Zhan's smell, Lan Zhan's heart beat, all of it was real to Wei Wuxian. He was sure he was not delirious, the person hugging him was Lan Zhan. And yet, it was not Lan Zhan. The person hugging him was a lot bigger than Lan Zhan. His chest was broader, his shoulders were wider, his arms were more muscular. He was way stronger than Lan Zhan judging how tightly he hugged Wei Wuxian. Nevertheless, Wei Wuxian felt a strong sense of safety in those arms, similar to how he felt in Lan Zhan's embrace. 

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian squeaked out.

 

The person immediately released Wei Wuxian from his strong squeeze with a shocked gasp. Wei Wuxian got the chance to look at the man's face. It was a man dressed in pristine white Gusu Lan robes who looked like how Lan Zhan would look if he was older, and had snow white hair. It was a man who felt like his soulmate, his zhiji. 

How he got there was least of Wei Wuxian’s concern. 

 

The older looking white haired Lan Zhan gaped at Wei Wuxian with perplexity. He caressed Wei Wuxian's face hesitantly, being extremely gentle as though he'd hurt Wei Wuxian with his nails. Wei Wuxian instinctively leaned on his caresses, sighing in relief that he was not alone anymore. The man's hands were so big that each could cover Wei Wuxian's entire face. His palm was coarser in comparison to the Lan Zhan he knows, but they had the same kind of warmth, if not more. Wei Wuxian extended his hands to hold the back of those hands, as he always does with Lan Zhan. In comparison to his hands, the hands caressing him were double his size. Wei Wuxian could barely cover half of those hands, feeling the jutting bones of the man's knuckles. 

“Wei Ying….” The man in white murmured in a low, steady yet trembling voice. The cadence of Wei Wuxian’s name being called with affection of a lifetime reminded him of only one person- or that one entity. 

“Wuming?!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed standing on his knees, unsure if he was shocked or surprised or both or neither. He cupped the grown man's face, harshly tracing every small detail that should match with Wuming but somehow matches with Lan Zhan but isn't  exactly the same either. 

The man had Lan Zhan’s acutely sculptured face, but the features were sharper, his jaw was more angular, his chin was more pointed, his nose was longer, his lips were thinner and less plump, and his cheekbones were more raised, lacking the squishy softness. His hair was luminous white, like refined silk submerged in river water. His brows and eyelashes were as white as his hair. Despite the distinct differences, it was no doubt Lan Zhan. He even had the cloud patterned ribbon on his big forehead. The only feature that matched Wuming was the bright golden eyes and his voice, but those were no different than Lan Zhan either.

The man in white patiently let Wei Wuxian fondle with his face. He showed no sign of irritation. If there was to note any expression, Wei Wuxian would say unadulterated bliss. He had the most smallest, softest, cutest smile stitched on his face that if Wei Wuxian opts to never stop he'd gladly accept fate. 

“Wuming?” Wei Wuxian mumbled again. 

The man before him inhaled deeply. He sighed and relaxed, opening his willow leaf eyes. He gazed at Wei Wuxian with his sun-like eyes unwavering and warm, and if Wei Wuxian was right, devotion rooted deep within that gaze. 

“How did you know?” the man huffed. He wiped Wei Wuxian's sweaty forehead, unsticking his fringes from the temple and tucking strands of hair behind Wei Wuxian's ears. 

Wei Wuxian gaped at him. It made no sense. For half his life Wuming was a celestial entity. Even when Wei Wuxian recognised Wuming as a soul- a shattered soul- he'd never in a hundred lives guess how Wuming would look as a human. Even if he took a thousand guesses, Wei Wuxian could never imagine Wuming in Lan Zhan's face. He was confused, moreover, he was in despair. Suddenly appearing in human form after disappearing without a word could not mean any good. 

The man in white, namely Wuming, remained kneeling before him with no urgency to explain anything to him. He smiles at Wei Wuxian, it is unmentionably a small smile, with a small tilt of his head like Wuming always did when he was waiting for Wei Wuxian to figure out an answer for a complex problem. In this human form he looked extremely cute doing the small head tilt. He wondered if Wuming was twitching his human ears as well, if he'd wag his tail had there been one.

“I don't understand!” Wei Wuxian heaved, shaking his head to stop his distracting comparison between a human and non human. It's not that Wei Wuxian didn't understand, he refused to understand. Why Wuming was similar to Lan Zhan, why Wuming’s soul felt like Lan Zhan's…. and why the soul was shattered. None of it made sense, and Wei Wuxian was too tired to think of anything. 

“Don't pressure yourself.” Wuming murmured, holding Wei Wuxian's shoulders, asking permission to bring himself closer.  

Wei Wuxian didn't give a damn about permissions or personal spaces, he crawled closer to the man until he was sitting on the man's lap. It was a weird feeling to crawl in on another man's lap, a man that felt like his lover. In his anguish, he let his mind stop working, let his heart mix up between his lover and this human version of Wuming. Wei Wuxian wouldn't say it was a bad feeling,He felt safe, curled and cocooned in Wuming’s humane arms, and that's all that mattered at that moment. 

Wuming pulled him closer to his chest. He embraced Wei Wuxian again with more care than before. His calloused thumb traced the cut on Wei Wuxian's neck, wiping off the drops of blood.Burrowed in his chest, Wei Wuxian heard the man's loud thundering heart, a resonation Wei Wuxian is well educated on. 

Despite having a strong build, the man trembled as he hugged Wei Wuxian. “Never think of hurting yourself.” Wuming whispered in broken gasps. “Don't hurt yourself. Don't hate yourself. I tried everything I could to keep you safe. I don't want to see you taking your life again.” 

Wei Wuxian didn't understand why Wuming said ‘again’. He didn't have the mind to ponder over it, bursting into tears hearing Wuming’s hurtful pleadings. 

“I don't want to.” Wei Wuxian sniffled throughout his overwhelmed trembling exhales. “I- don't want to die. I just, I just wished people didn't suffer because of me. I didn't do anything. And yet, and yet, I'm at fault for everything that happened. Lan sect, Jiang sect, Yanli Jie, Wen Ning, Wen Qing, and all these innocent people, they are suffering because of me. I didn't- I thought- I just, if I didn't exist- they'll live happily, but they died, and I should die too.” 

“No!” Wuming heavily refused. He held Wei Wuxian tightly, rubbing soothing circles on his back, “None of it was your fault, Wei Ying. Gusu Lan would be ashes if it wasn't for you. You didn't do anything to be whipped by discipline whip. The fall of Yunmeng Jiang has nothing to do with you. Wen Ruohan would have attacked whether you existed or not. Everyone has their own struggles in life, you shouldn't blame yourself for what is beyond your control. You didn't inflict those suffering on them, nor did you want them to die. Mourn their death, it is not a burden you should carry.” 

 

Wei Wuxian sobbed quietly in Wuming’s chest. He wanted to deny but the warmth in his voice beat any reasonings, neither did his lungs have the power to do anything but to inhale and exhale. Wei Wuxian let Wuming’s words make nest in his heart and mind. His mind focused on the gentle circles on his back. The air felt less humid with the calmness Wuming bought with him. Wei Wuxian felt relaxed for the first time in weeks. 

 

A quiet sniffle cracks the mirage of contentment. Something stirs in the dark corner of the prison. It plops on the floor with its back pressed to the walls. A sob escapes, raw and broken, having an uncanny match to Wei Wuxian's sobs. Its presence was as familiar as Wei Wuxian's own existence. He has known it for as long as he knew Wuming. 

Wei Wuxian's curiosity grew with the dark ambiguous creature taking shape into a definite individual, into a human. Wei Wuxian broke free from Wumings arms to have a closer look at the person. 

The man was dressed in a loose black robe. His hair was long and untied, covering most of his face. The man's lanky limbs curled to himself, hugging his knees close to his chest. His arms were thin and skeletal. The exposed chest, as much as Wei Wuxian could see, had definable bones jutting out his skin. 

The man sensed Wei Wuxian looking at him, peeking at Wei Wuxian with his red rimmed eyes through his veil of hair. Wei Wuxian  glanced at Wuming for any hint and discovered that he too was looking in that direction more petrified than Wei Wuxian. 

Wuming looked as though he saw a ghost for the first time. His gaze was fixed at the man in the corner with parted lips. His light coloured eyes reflected the person in the corner as if captivated by him. 

The person in the corner had a dumb look on his face. He looked to his right and then his left. His gray eyes stared dumbly at Wei Wuxian as though asking if they were looking at him, as if he didn't know he could be seen. Wei Wuxian was too shell-shocked to give the man any semblance of response. The man, despite half his face being covered with his messy hair, had a disgusting familiarity. The shape of his eyes, the gray colour of his iris, his boney fingers, his dull chapped lips, the way he gaped, Wei Wuxian found his characteristics on another as if crossing path with a long lost brother. 

The man in black robe pressed his lips and calmly stood up to his feet. He walked to the iron door as if he didn't care who was looking at him. Then,like a blind bat, the man walked into the door with a loud thud with his head first. 

The sound startled Wuming. He appeared trying to move and hold the person and say something overly caring but was unable to due the shock he had yet to recover from. 

“Aah-haha….” The man in black robes awkwardly laughed, making Wei Wuxian cringe a bit. The man pushed the doors and walls saying,  “That's weird. Last time I checked, I could pass through.” 

The man that suddenly appeared wanted to disappear from their sight. Getting the hint, Wuming thawed from his place, running to catch the person. What surprised Wei Wuxian is that Wuming didn't catch him like an invader. He held the man's wrist as delicately as to not break his skeletal arm, softly whispering, “Wei Ying?” 

The man in black robe immediately thrashed out, “No, no, no, no, no. Wrong, wrong, wrong, you've got it wrong. I'm not Wei Ying. He's Wei Ying.” 

As the man pointed at Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian saw the man's face more clearly. 

Oh, Wei Wuxian dumbly thought, It's me.

It was his face looking back at him except that face looked like it had seen through hell. The face was similar to the reflection Wei Wuxian saw on the dagger blade, but worse. 

The man was taller than Wei Wuxian,  assuming he was older as well. His face had no hint of blood, hollow cheeks, saggy dark eye bags. The corner of his eyes red. The man's chest had a Wen insignia branded on his chest, scarred old and deformed. Even so, one would not doubt he was Wei Ying, Wei Wuxian himself.

 

In Wuming’s clutch he trembled and struggled to escape. His eyes were determined not to meet Wuming’s. Wuming, a grown up man, quivered his lips like a toddler, refusing to let the struggling man go. In a blink, twinkling tear drops streamed down his cheeks. 

“You-” Wuming gasped out, sniffling indignantly. 

Wei Wuxian thought he was watching Lan Zhan and him having an emotional fight from a third person's perspective. Lan Zhan was too overwhelmed to utter a coherent word, struggling to swallow the lump in his throat,the bone on his throat bobbing up and down. Wei Wuxian choosing flight over fight, too afraid to face the impending consequences of meeting the weeping eyes of his lover. 

He saw the older Lan Zhan lightly caress the older Wei Wuxian's face, making him look at Lan Zhan. The older looking Wei Wuxian shut his eyes tightly, giving up on his struggle of escape. He looked as though meeting Lan Zhan's eyes would break him further. Tears rolled down the side of his eyes and the man whimpered like a kicked puppy. 

Wuming cupped the whimpering man's face just like he'd done before, with unimaginable care and affection. Wuming’s thumb wiped the tears from the other man's face, smothering them on his protruded cheekbones. 

Wei Wuxian noticed, Wuming’s hands were just the perfect size to hold the older looking Wei Wuxian's face, not too big or an inch too small. 

“Wei Ying.” Wuming breathed out, a trembling voice not more than a whisper, a name carrying regret of a thousand years. 

“I've been begging you to look at me all this time.” The older Wei Wuxian choked out, eyes still shut close. “Every freaking day, I swear, every freaking day since that day. And now that you are looking at me- fuck I can't. I can't do this, Lan Zhan.” 

The man in black robe called Wuming by Wei Wuxian’s soulmate’s name. 

 

Just as Lan Zhan’s name was called, the man in white  pressed his mouth on the other man's lips. Wei Wuxian saw the human version of Wuming, the older looking white haired Lan Zhan, kissing a man who looked like him, an older and more malnourished version of him. 

His heart squeezed weirdly. It wasn't like Wei Wuxian saw his real lover kiss another man.Yet he felt a twinge of petty jealousy and spiteful envy watching Lan Zhan kiss another person. Even though that other person looked like him, it probably was him, even though that version of him looked like he didn't know how to properly reciprocate a kiss or had never experienced such affection. Wei Wuxian didn't want to see them kissing. Wei Wuxian didn't want to hear them kissing. He wasn't petty enough to tell them to stop, but he wasn't kind enough to patiently watch them either. 

 

Luckily for him, the kissing stopped. The older Wei Wuxian fluttered his eyes open like a shy maiden, staring back at the older Lan Zhan's unwavering gaze. At first he couldn't look at the other man, next he couldn't stop looking.

“You!” the older Wei Wuxian whispered shyly but accusingly. He grabbed the taller man's lapels and yelled, “It was you! That maiden in the phoenix mountain was you!!” 

In the face of accusation, Wuming was lost. He averted his gaze like a caught thief, now unable to face the other man while the one who was afraid to  look at him at first was then yelling at him like he didn't know what fear was. 

“God damn it Hanguang-jun! If you had just said so I'd have– I don't know what I'd do but you could at least tell me instead of stealing a kiss like that! Who knew it was the impeccable Hanguang-jun who stole the fearsome Yilling Laozu's first and last and only kiss!”

Hearing the man in black robe, who called himself the Yilling Laozu, Wuming turned bewilderingly red. He stared at the shorter man with a wild mix of emotions Wei Wuxian couldn't figure out. Wei Wuxian had yet to understand what was going on but was amazed with how the two men kept unfolding  stories. 

“First…?” Wuming, or as Yilling Laozu called him, Hanguan-jun murmured euphorically. “But you said–”

“I said I had kissed a lot of women. Why'd you believe my nonsense!?” Yilling Laozu pulled his own hair out of frustration. Though he looked bothered, there was mirth dancing at the corner of his lips. “Yes, yes, I had my fair share of experience with women. And you know what! I was even in love with Wen Qing.”

Wei Wuxian was alarmed hearing a familiar name. He knew that Yilling Laozu was spewing nonsense by the way he emphasises on each word. Hanguang-jun, however, turned out to be fooled by Yilling Laozu, his shoulders visibly deflating and the soft smile he had died right there.

“Mn,” said Hanguang-jun with a good nod. 

“Why'd you believe my nonsense again! What the fuck!!” Yilling Laozu exasperated, shaking the big tall man out of his mind. Hanguang-juns complex recovered from the short shock he had just now, his small soft smile returning gleefully. “Ridiculous!” Hanguang-jun huffed and it reminded Wei Wuxian of his Lan Zhan with a sharp stab on his chest. 

Yilling Laozu on the other hand seemed to forget that Wei Wuxian was there at all. He hugged the man in white, bursting into unfiltered laughter, head throwing back. Had Hanguang-jun not held him by the waist the man would have fallen backwards.

“Yes, Ridiculous! Call me Ridiculous, but what are you? You're more Ridiculous!” Yilling Laozu swallowed his laughter down. His face morphed to regret from mirth. His eyes searched for something in Hanguang-jun’s face. Hanguang-jun smiled as though he knew what the other man was thinking about. 

“Why didn't you ever tell me?” Yilling Laozu's breath shuddered. There was regret in his voice and an underlying rage Wei Wuxian recognised very well. 

“I was afraid‐” 

“No No not  that!” Yilling Laozu interrupted suddenly turning red. Wei Wuxian wondered briefly what 'that' they were talking about for the man to shy out. Because, he surely wasn't embarrassed to declare the stolen kiss. 

“Why didn't you tell me you were doing this?” Yilling Laozu stated, staring blankly at Wei Wuxian. For a moment, Wei Wuxian's heart dropped, wondering if what Hanguang-jun did to be by Wei Wuxian's side as Wuming affected Yilling Laozu or worse, Wuming himself. He was again blaming himself in his mind. 

“I did not know this would happen. I was not the caster nor was I aware of the people bound to the ritual, not you at least.” Hanguang-jun responded ruefully. The man took note of Wei Wuxian's discomfort between them and pulled Wei Wuxian closer so that Wei Wuxian could lean his head on his chest. Wei Wuxian's frantic heart calmed by the man's touch. He couldn't help but study how Yilling Laozu reacted to Hanguang-jun’s words. 

“I don't regret it-” 

“I regret it!” Yilling Laozu interrupted Hanguang-jun again. His guilt and regret surfaced through his quivering lips, but the man did not cry. “If I had known it was you– had I known what you wanted! I'd not have interfered with the ritual! Then you could be in your body and I could have started anew! But i–” 

Hanguang-jun sounded as shocked as Wei Wuxian was. Wei Wuxian's mind could make sense of each turn of events on its own. He wished  his mind didn't work as fast as it did sometimes. He didn't like the disclosure his mind was giving him. 

“Wuming you–” Wei Wuxian gazed up to Hanguang-jun whom he knew as Wuming. A refined man in pristine Gusu Lan robes, having resemblance to the love of his life, a soul matching his zhijis's soul. Wei Wuxian's eyes wandered around Yilling Laozu. A malnourished man, scarred and branded, tired and exhausted yet all smiles and big words, a reflection of his. The words exchanged between the two grown up men, their sudden appearance, everything made sense. “What's the meaning of this! I don't understand!” 

“I know you do.” Yilling Laozu scoffed with a  fond smile. He looked at Hanguang-jun with loving eyes and the fondest smile Wei Wuxian had seen on the man so far. “I always thought you'd stick to your rightfulness, I always thought you wanted to mend my wrongs into your rights, and I resented you for that. I was too blind to see what you were trying to mean. And I made things harder for you, I always do. Even though I disturbed the process, made things harder for you, you still lived up to your name. You brought light to my dark days…. thank you.” 

“What I did was according to my will. No need for-” Hanguang-jun shook his head. He tried denying Yilling Laozu's gratitude but the other man was just as stubborn. 

“-No need for thank you and sorry.” Yilling Laozu completed his sentence with a bright smile. “I know, I saw everything you could have said to me but….. still, thank you for giving me- another me, a life this good.”  

Hanguang-jun lowered his head, “With how things turned out…?” 

“Even with how things turned out.” Yilling Laozu's eyes glistened with held back tears. He said with a bitter smile “I didn't even dare dream of having half of what he got. You showed me how wonderful life could be. You showed me a childhood full of warmth and affection, where I had only known fear. Fear of being too much, fear of not being enough, fear of being too good. You showed me my true potential, how far I could grow had I not been afraid of overshadowing Jiang Cheng. And I saw…..how loved I could be.” 

The man kneeled to face Wei Wuxian directly, smiled his bitter yet fond smile and said, “I Wei Wuxian, am envious of you.” 

Wei Wuxian shook his head, tears rolling down his eyes, “How can you be Wei Wuxian. Please tell me it's not true.” 

Yilling Laozu, who called himself Wei Wuxian, huffed and pinched Wei Wuxian's cheek, “You big cry baby! You end up crying in the smallest inconvenience. Look what your gentleness did, Lan Zhan! You made me a cry baby!” 

Hanguang-jun, whom Yilling Laozu called Lan Zhan, also knelt before Wei Wuxian, watching him fondly while wiping his tears away. “I don't see any reason to hold back tears.” 

As Hanguang-jun finished his sentence Yilling Laozu burst into tears as well. His soundless wailing turned into whimpers as Hanguang-jun lovingly held him in his arms, the same way Lan Zhan hugged Wei Wuxian when he was down. Seeing that Wei Wuxian was standing alone watching them cry, Hanguang-jun invited him in his arms as well. 

Soon enough, Hanguang-jun’s arms were full of two sobbing Wei Wuxians. 

 

“Why'd you want to kill yourself after you've had everything.” Wei Wuxian, burrowed in Hanguang-jun’s chest, heard Yilling Laozu's muffled complaining. “You should be stronger than this. I went through so much shit, saw my sect burn down, saw my peers being burnt alive, found Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu dead, gave up my core, gave up my sect, gave up my luxurious life to save people I barely knew from the whole cultivational world, the cultivational world wanted me dead, so many assassinating attempts and yet I lived! I starved! I  crawled out of that hell hole in one piece! I saw the people I sacrificed my home for lose their lives to mere diseases!  They burned Wen Qing alive! I- I saw my intestines cut out of my stomach by the man I called my brother! The same brother who led a siege on me!  I saw sword pierce through my sister's chest just to fucking save my pathetic ass! Only then did I- I goddam tolerated so fucking much! And you fall for Su She’s lies and tricks!” Yilling Laozu heaved, breathing sharply as Wei Wuxian clutched to Hanguang-jun’s robes. 

He can't say Yilling Laozu was wrong to blame Wei Wuxian for being weak hearted. By that point, Wei Wuxian had a clear idea of what was going on and who these people were. Whether Wei Wuxian accepted the truth or not didn't matter. It's not like reality would bend itself to fit Wei Wuxian's wishes. It didn't do any good to his self loathing either. 

“He's young, and unused to such situations.” Hanguang-jun stated, massaging Wei Wuxian's scalp with the tip of his fingers. “We were older than him when things started to go bad.” 

“Seventeen and nineteen has no difference. Fuck is wrong with this Wen Ruohan, why'd he capture me!” Yilling Laozu sniffled. He pulled Wei Wuxian out of Hanguang-jun’s chest and said, “Listen, I know I'm a rude asshole, and I'm sorry for saying all these to you. Just– you're stronger than me, and way smarter than me, you can figure things out quicker than me,so just use your head and don't hurt yourself or else…..”

The man glanced at Hanguang-jun with a proud profound smile and said, “Look at him, he crossed time and space to be with you, to be with Wei Ying. Even though the Wei Ying he knew did nothing but annoy the shit out of him. After everything you two have done, Lan Zhan will burn down the heavens and freeze up the hells if you do anything to yourself.” 

Wei Wuxian glanced at Hanguang-jun as if they could reach each other's mind. The smile Hanguang-jun had on his face told Wei Wuxian what Yilling Laozu said was not far from the truth.

“I know.” Wei Wuxian admitted weakly. The lump in his throat hurts when he speaks. It's bizarre talking to himself, being held by a man who loved him in another world. The mind boggling reality felt like a fever dream. Fate was merciless in another world, so much that it didn't even allow him to have his zhiji at his worst. A fate so harrowing that his zhiji had to look for him in a world that's not his. 

Wei Wuxian's hoarse voice cracked as he spoke, “I don't want Lan Zhan to feel like that but I don't want to drag Lan Zhan down with me, be whipped and secluded…. I can't bear that pain.” 

Yilling Laozu tousled his hair, “As long as it didn't happen to Hanguang-jun, chances are that it won't happen to him.” The man brightly smiled at Hanguang-jun, Hanguang-jun however turned stiff. 

It didn't go unnoticed by either of Wei Wuxian. Yilling Laozu raised his brows and started laughing nervously. “Hanguang-jun! Don't tell me you've ever been whipped because of me!” 

Hanguang-jun shook his head. 

Wuming was an awful lier. With Hanguang-jun’s facial expressions, it was easy for Wei Wuxian to detect the white balant lie. “Hanguang-jun, lying is forbidden.” 

“That's it, show me your back!” Yilling Laozu exclaimed. He started pulling apart Hanguang-jun’s robes without a warning, making the grown man turn red and blue, and go through all sorts of turmoil. When Hanguang-jun refused to let Yilling Laozu strip him down, Yilling Laozu yelled at Wei Wuxian for not helping him. 

At the heat of the moment, Wei Wuxian worked according to what Yilling Laozu told him to do. He held Hanguang-jun’s hands that clutched tightly to the lapels. Seeing that Wei Wuxian was not taking his side, Hanguang-jun gave him a betrayed Look. 

“Please, just this once.” Wei Wuxian requested with a small pout. He knew it worked on his Lan Zhan, and it definitely worked on Hanguang-jun. 

Hanguang-jun let go of his lapels with bright red ears, allowing Yilling Laozu to pull down his robes to expose his back. And just as Wei Wuxian feared, the man's back was covered in uneven whipping scars. 

They both stare at the scars frozen and unblinking. The dull scars carved themselves on his pale skin, telling a story with each stroke. The amount of whipping scars were inhuman. Such punishment could cripple a healthy man if not murder him instantaneously. Even if one was to survive that many whippings, it'd take at least ten years to heal from the impact. 

Yilling Laozu lost his sanity, incoherently muttering something under his breath. His eyes were troubled and filled with murderous intent. 

Wei Wuxian noticed the Wen insignia scorched on Hanguang-jun’s chest, right where Yilling Laozu had his. Only the Wens would sear their enemies with branding irons. Wei Wuxian assumed, from the nightmares he saw, Yilling Laozu earned his scar from his battles with Wens. However, Hanguang-jun falling victim to the Wen brand was beyond Wei Wuxian’s comprehension.

The image of his soulmate being held down by his enemies flashed in his mind. He doesn't know how Yilling Laozu allowed a body worthy of worshiping to be seared by inflamed iron, be carved in scars for life. 

“I won't allow it!” Wei Wuxian declared with tearful eyes as he aggressively rubbed the scar, wanting to wipe it away from the man's pale chest. “How did it happen, Lan Zhan!” 

Overwhelmed by his emotions, Wei Wuxian called Hanguang-jun by the name he called his lover. In a sense, Wei Wuxian wasn't wrong to call the man Lan Zhan, as it was his real name in either world. Hanguang-jun was not bothered by it, neither could Wei Wuxian care. 

“Who did that! Who fucking did that to you!?” Yilling Laozu growled like a beast. At that moment Wei Wuxian understood why Yilling Laozu called himself fearsome, and why the cultivational world would want to take him down. 

They were the same person in different bodies, from a different world, yet Wei Wuxian got shivers from the way darkness swirled around Yilling Laozu. In simpler words, Wei Wuxian was scared of himself, of turning into a mad resentful beast.  

Hanguang-jun didn't seem to be phased by Yilling Laozu's behaviour. He re-tied his robes, covering himself shyly as if a man by his side was not seething with resentful rage. “I did it.” the man mumbled like kids accepting their mischief after getting caught. 

“You– what?!” Yilling Laozu croaked. His rage extinguished like it was never there. He was back to being himself like someone just flipped him anew. 

“Accepting the whippings was my conscious decision.”Hanguang-jun solemnly uttered. “And the scar….. I was drunk.” 

“First of all, fuck you for accepting those whippings! Are you fucking crazy? I don't even want to know what happened, and second of all–” Yilling Laozu pulled Hanguang-jun in a deep open mouthed kiss and asked, “Why do you even like me?!” 

“I love you!” Hanguang-jun responded instantly sounding offended that Yilling Laozu said 'like' instead of 'love'.

“At the cost of yourself?!” Yilling Laozu countered. 

"What significance does this self hold, when it can't be with its soulmate.” 

Hearing Hanguang-jun’s sincere words, Yilling Laozu melts on the floor. The man rolls on the floor indignantly muttering incoherently about being undeserving of such words. Wei Wuxian understands him from a spiritual level, had those words been directed to him, he too would have started rolling on the floor. 

Then all of a sudden, Yilling Laozu let out a pained gasp fighting them altogether. “Fuck it! why don't I have more time! I don't want to leave so soon!” Yilling Laozu cried.

Alarmed, Wei Wuxian asked, “What do you mean ‘leave’?” He glanced at Hanguang-jun for clues, but the man only gave him a sad smile. Hanguang-jun had a light glow of dying fireflies, his spiritual presence dispersing around Wei Wuxian. 

“C'mon genius, you saw this coming, didn't you?” Yilling Laozu huffed, getting up to show himself properly. Parts of him were getting transparent like a weak essence ghost at daybreak. 

“No, I don't want to see this! I thought- I thought you'd stay forever, like this.” Wei Wuxian broke down to tears again. His jaws hurt in the smallest movements, lips stinging from chapped cuts. In the deepest consciousness, he knew this would happen sooner or later. Wei Wuxian just wasn't prepared, he never will be. 

Yilling Laozu rubbed his eyes till they were painfully red. “I used up the rest of my strength just so you could have a final moment with him, be a little grateful.” 

“It was you?!” Hanguang-jun quietly exclaimed, holding back his tears as well. 

Yilling Laozu gave Hanguang-jun a proud smile, “I saw how desperately you were trying to reach him. You were begging every stupid God to stop this brat from hurting himself but me.” 

“You could do this all along?” 

“Yeah, but that would mean the end of your little adventure here and death for me…. like the real dead.”

“What?” Asked Hanguang-jun. The pain in his voice cascaded in each breath. 

Yilling Laozu lazily rested his chin on his palm. He closed his eyes in a manner of remensic and said, “I didn't really die back then. I was never dead. I was just…. existing as a non existent being, a soul with no body.” 

When Yilling Laozu opened his eyes, Wei Wuxian saw the calmness as deep as an ocean. His dull gray eyes shone like luminescent silver, his complexion more human than before though he was vanishing to nothingness with each passing moment. 

“So this is it, death.” said Yilling Laozu with a big smile. “Hanguang-jun, I have one dying request, will you be kind to-” 

“Lan Zhan,” Hanguang-jun interrupted the man for the first time, “To you, I'm Lan Zhan.” 

Yilling Laozu laughed with all his heart. “Lan Zhan, oh Lan Zhan, will you kindly save Wen Ning and hold a funeral for him and everyone that came along….. and if it's not too much to ask for, hold one for me too?” 

Hanguang-jun remained silent, mostly out of confusion, and the overwhelming grief of losing the love of his life once again. 

Yilling Laozu squished Hanguang-jun’s cheeks, “I'm the one dying. You're going back to where you came from silly….. though I'm not sure how long you can stay there.” 

“I don't want to.” Hanguang-jun shook his head. “I want to be with you.” 

“Aiyaa, if you follow me, who'll hold my funeral? My Wen Ning’s body deserves a proper place to rest,I owe him a lot. And you also have to say goodbye to our son. You have to let A-Yuan know how much I loved him, how proud I am of my little radish, okay?” 

With a prolonged silence Hanguang-jun accepted, nodding slowly. 

Yilling Laozu grinned once he noticed Wei Wuxian's discreet shock at the mention of their child. “Shocked much? Of Course we have a son, I gave birth to him!” 

“What bullshit, must you joke at a moment like this!?”

“Who said I'm joking! We really have an adorable son, he's the sect leader of Gusu Lan now, right!?” Hanguang-jun proudly nods at Yilling Laozu's words. 

“See!?You better find him and take extra good care of him on my behalf.” 

Wei Wuxian scoffs sarcastically, “If I make it out of here.” 

“I know you will, you're smarter than me.” Yilling Laozu doesn't buy his sarcasm. He gives Wei Wuxian a tight hug out of nowhere, “You better make it out of here, and live a happy life with no regrets. Someone out there is waiting for you.”

The familiarity of the man hugging him reminded Wei Wuxian of his parents. It took every bit of his conscience to not clutch into Yilling Laozu and beg him to stay. Instead Wei Wuxian murmured,“Someone is waiting for you too.” 

“Right, right.” Yilling Laozu huffs, sniffling loudly. He breaks their hug only to embrace the man who's been silently grieving the end of their shared lives. 

“You've shed enough tears my love.” Yilling Laozu's adornment only accelerated Hanguang-jun’s downpour. His breath hitched as he struggled to speak then gave up realizing there's nothing he could say in the face of repeated loss. Hanguang-jun clutched to Yilling Laozu, trembling fingers digging into the man's skin, as if wanting to lock the man in his rib cage, as if that would stop their imminent farewell. 

Yilling Laozu rests his forehead on Hanguang-jun, their noses touching. “I'll make sure to reincarnate with you. In our next life, I'll find you again, and I'll love you like no man ever had.” 

Hanguang-jun takes off his ribbon from his forehead, and ties it around in one of Yilling Laozu's waning wrist. With a great endeavour Hanguang-jun manages to say, “Will wait for you.” 

“This means we're married right!” Yilling Laozu exuberates despite the situation. He laughed like he wasn't dying again, for real this time. Wei Wuxian saw very little pain in that laughter. He'd guess, the man does not want Hanguang-jun to have his final moment watching him cry. 

“Lan Zhan, marry me in our next life, okay?” it wasn't a request, rather a promise to be fulfilled. Yilling Laozu didn't wait for Hanguang-jun’s answer. He smilingly pressed one last kiss on Hanguang-jun’s lips, having no doubt that the other man would reciprocate. 

As tears rolled down his cheeks, Hanguang-jun’s arms lost what it held so dearly. Having lost the man he loved once again, Hanguang-jun embraced himself, squeezing his heart as there is where his lover belongs. 

 

“I'm sorry,” Hanguang-jun spoke with a shuddering breath, his own essence dispersing in the light. Wei Wuxian would have missed his words had he not been close. 

“There is no need for sorry and thank you between Lan Zhan and Wei Ying.” Wei Wuxian recited. 

Hanguang-jun wiped his tears with his still trembling hands. He looks at Wei Wuxian with such a sadness that its weight alone could crumble mountains. “I couldn't keep my promise.” 

Wei Wuxian did what Yilling Laozu did, he smiled as brightly as he could. He smiled like his heart was not ripping itself into pieces, like he was not on the verge of madness, like his mind wasn't screaming you can't go, you have to stay. 

“You did more than one could ask for.” 

“But-” 

“No buts!” Wei Wuxian refrained the man from speaking any nonsense. “I'm fine, I swear. I'm really happy for you. I've always wished for you to meet your lover again and…. My wish came true.” 

The man extended his arms to Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian, as weak as he is, collapsed in the man's arms. 

“I'll be safe.” Wei Wuxian promises, “I'll live a good life for you, so please, if we are bound to be separated, if we are to say our farewells, be it with a smile.” 

Hanguang-jun humms shakily. He caressed Wei Wuxian's face with the utmost care and pressed a tender kiss on his forehead. He smiles and says “This is not farewell. Our souls will meet again.” 

The promise of their certain meetings made Wei Wuxian smile from his heart. As he smiled, the arms that he took shelter in, evanesced like mist in the morning sun. 

Once again, Wei Wuxian was left all alone in the confinement of stone walls. Having no witness, Wei Wuxian let his heart bleed as agonisingly as he felt. Wei Wuxian screamed his lover's name, letting the reality settle in his mind. 

Wuming was none but Lan Zhan himself. Wuming’s lover was none but Wei Wuxian himself. Wei Wuxian had a different life in a different world. Wei Wuxian gave up his core and then himself. Wei Wuxian fought his soulmate till death did them apart. Lan Zhan moved heaven and earth to meet him again, just to get him a better life. He didn't want Wei  Wuxian to love him back, he didn't want anymore in return but Wei Wuxian's happiness. What did he ever do deserve such devotion.

 

 

Notes:

I hope you liked this chapter, I had to rewrite it four times to make it similar to what was in my head. I don't know how to write it any better than this. Please wait for my next chapter, they'll take a while too T-T

Chapter 56: Reunion

Notes:

Small chapter after a loooooonnnngggg time. This semester was super hectic and my anxiety was the worst. It's over for now but I'm super burnt out and exhausted af. Last chapters feedback was so good that I'm afraid the ending won't meet your expectations.

There was devastation and there was desperation, of knowing the cruelty of fate, of wanting to bend fate into something he could hold in the palm of his hands without having its angry edges leaving traces on his skin. 

 

And then there was calmness, of a certainty that even if he had scraped his whole body, someone was waiting for him, to hold him, to heal him, gently and tenderly, and lovingly. 

 

He has cried enough, like the children outside his cell. He had grieved more than he's allowed to. He has people to save, and a lover to return to. 

 

There was no solid plan laid out in his mind. But he knew what he was doing. He tore the shirt he was wearing and made talismans with it using his blood, cutting his body with the dagger Su She gave him, Wei Wuxian keeps it in his mind to thank him. The cold air in his bare body reminds him that he is still a human, despite not feeling like one. 

Blood drips from his fingertips like rain drops. Before the drops could hit the ground, Wei Wuxian has them spellbound. 

And then he waits for the clamour, wails of lost souls wanting to be understood and of men in torment. 

 

“Wei Wuxian!” Comes an expected howl. Wei Wuxian welcomes the howling dog with a twisted grin as soon as the iron door opens to a blood flood. 

“Wen Xu.” Wei Wuxian says as a greeting, “You came sooner than I expected.” 

Wen Xu marches in, leaving bloody red footprints behind. His sword shimmers red as much as his face, his whole body blood soaked. 

“How did you do it!?” Wen Xu growled, cornering Wei Wuxian in a corner of the cell. His bloody sword slides by Wei Wuxian's neck, “How did you control the dead?” 

Wei Wuxian's grin twisted further, “You Wen brothers are always so eager to learn from me.” 

“I have no time for nonsense. Tell me how you control the dead and I'll let you live!” 

Wei Wuxian placed a calm hand on Wen Xu’s shoulder, continuing what he was saying, “But neither of you brothers were smart enough to be my student.” 

Just before Wen Xu could be infuriated he realized he had walked right into Wei Wuxian's trap. The shoulder Wei Wuxian held had a piece of white cloth stuck to it. Spells and arrays written in bright vibrant blood. The talisman worked just as finely as he had theorised. Possession on a living human. Wei Wuxian had commanded the most obedient soul to possess Wen Xu. 

The dog that followed around Wen Xu waited for his master's sign to attack Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian huffed, looking over Wen Xu’s shoulder. 

“Go,” he whispered in Wen Xu’s ears. 

What a scene it was, to watch the master fight its loyal dog. Wen Zhuliu knew Wei Wuxian was controlling not only the dead but also the living. Yet, he could not attack his master, only defending himself. Wen Zhuliu was smarter compared to his masters. He knew, to save Wen Xu he has to kill Wei Wuxian without going near him. And that is where Wen Zhuliu fell short, each time he tried to launch his sword at Wei Wuxian, Wen Xu would jump before the sword, becoming Wei Wuxian's shield. 

Wei Wuxian left the prison cell that confined him for weeks. Behind him was the clatter of swords, Wen Xu and Wen Zhuliu against each other. Before him was the hallway of prison flooded with fresh blood and corpses of the Wen cultivators that used to torment his prison neighbours. He retrieved a bloody robe to cover himself and the keys to the cells as he quietly unlocked each door. 

The people in them didn't trust him. The elders beg for mercy and children cowered behind their guardians. Fear in their eyes filled Wei Wuxian's self loathing. 

The cry of the infant catches his cold eyes. A child bundled securely in its grandmother's arms. She shushes the child as Wei Wuxian's eyes refuse to leave them. The granny looks too old and too tired to be dealing with a fussy crying child. 

Wei Wuxian soundlessly walks in the dark cell, crouching before the hunched old woman. She begs Wei Wuxian's forgiveness and begs for the child's life and more prayers that Wei Wuxian doesn't comprehend. His eyes were glued to the child's poor complexion. His heart and mind raging and breaking just by wondering what this child's fault was to be separated from its mother and be burdened with such torment. 

The granny was rocking the crying child, singing fake promises to make him stop crying. Wei Wuxian hears her call the child “A-Yuan” and that he was the bravest boy. 

 

“A-Yuan?” Wei Wuxian croakes. He snatches the little boy in his arms without caring for the old woman's reaction. Words echo in his head, You have to let A-Yuan know how much I loved him, how proud I am of my little radish, okay? 

“A-Yuan.”  The child feels smaller in Wei Wuxian’s arms, and he has the average weight of a single radish freshly plucked out of the soil. 

You better find him and take extra good care of him on my behalf.

“My little radish, I found you.” Wei Wuxian softly exclaimed as he rocked the little boy in his arms. Hearing a new voice piqued A-Yuan's curiosity. He forgot his crying to take a look at the person that called him a radish. He stares at Wei Wuxian, mindlessly sucking on his little thumb. 

“No, that's dirty, you're a dirty radish.” Wei Wuxian swats A-Yuans hand away, and the child puckered his lips as if ready to cry again. “Okay, okay you can have it back.” After shoving the hand back to his mouth Wei Wuxian huffs in adoration. 

Seeing that Wei Wuxian was just as much of a human as them, other children disobeyed their elders to surround him. They watched him with curiosity of no child but a person meeting a deity for the first time. The Wens of the prison saw him with hope in their eyes and recognised him as their saviour as though he was some god. 

The truth was far from their beliefs. Wei Wuxian was no god sent deity but a devil crawled out of hell, or at least that's how Lan Qiren would phrase it after what he has done and what he plans to do. 

“Anyone know the map outside the prison?” He asked, releculently handing A-Yuan back to the granny.  

A man in his late sixties raises his hands. He nervously responds, “I used to be a physician here.” 

In the meantime, Wen Zhuliu falls. Wei Wuxian uses his talismans to bring him back to life, a living dead nothing but his puppet. He stands and moves and kneels before him like the loyal dog he was. Wei Wuxian thinks in his mind, what a loyal dog! He's always wanted an obedient dog like Jiang Cheng's jasmine. So, what if he was terrified of dogs, humans act like dogs more than dogs do. And the dog Wei Wuxian chose was the most loyal to its master, too bad it wasn't cute. 

“You'll follow this one right here.” Wei Wuxian pointed at Wen Zhuliu after a curt checking. “Once you start moving, don't dare look back.He'll escort you out safely. And once you're out, hide somewhere nice.” 

The people looked at Wei Wuxian with uncertainty in their eyes. They knew Wei Wuxian was friendly but not a friend. One of them asked, “What about you, young master…?” 

Wei Wuxian smirked, “They'll come for me anyways, why not just go to them instead. And besides, Your family is missing two people, don't you want them back.” 

They understood Wei Wuxian was talking about Wen Qing and Wen Ning. They nodded in silent resilience, gazing at Wei Wuxian as though they wanted to say “be careful” as though they wanted to say, “Return safely” as though they cared about Wei Wuxian like a family. Wei Wuxian doesn't indulge in that delusion. He orders Wen Zhuliu to lead the way and clear the path, women and children in front and stronger men in the back, they stride forward as Wei Wuxian accelerates to the opposite. With Wen Xu's living puppet as his shield, he dashed to the sun palace’s courtyard, bringing all attention to him. Cultivators gather around to take him down, they rain down arrows upon him, throw their swords at him, spell and talisman and whatnot. 

Wen Xu takes most of the blows for him and defusing spells and talismans are Wei Wuxian's expertise. He doesn't stop even when his body urges him to. until he's sure the prisoners escaped safely. It's hard fighting and controlling ghouls at the same time. The undead experiments Wen Ruohan wanted to control are all under Wei Wuxian's command. They help mitigate the fight but Wen Ruohan surpasses in quantity. These foolish cultivators jump at his puppets like moths to fire, meeting their certain death. Fear of death was not enough to stop them, and Wen Ruohan knew Wei Wuxian would get tired eventually. 

And he does get tired. His mind foggs up, leaving him like a blank slate. His body trembled in weakness and hunger. He was surrounded by swords ready to behead him. He's not killed instantly. Wen men drags him to the sect leaders hall making him kneel before Wen Ruohan. In his majestic throne Wen Ruohan looks down on him. He's in clean clothes and fresh food and cold water waits before him. The hall is filled with music of qin and pipa, as though hundreds don't lay lifeless ten steps out. Servants serve food and wine, fan him with feathery fans. 

Wen Ruohan sees the state of his first son, arrows spiked on him like a deformed hedgehog, flesh slashed and bleeding red. He doesn't react at all. If Wei Wuxian unpossessed him, he'd be no better than dead. Wen Ruohan was smart, and somewhat patient. He doesn't lash at Wei Wuxian the first instant, instead he laughs— like a maniac, like it's funny. 

“You surprise me everytime, Wei Wuxian.” the man said, still not done laughing. “You had no resources and yet you managed to do all this.” 

Wei Wuxian was too tired to make any response. His head in his neck felt too heavy to carry, the weight of his body was crushing his knees. His body was itchy and numb, he couldn't tell if he had any injuries or if his body  was bleeding. 

“First you disabled Wen Chao, he's rotting to his death.” Wen Ruohan mused as he counted on his fingers, “Second,  you have Wen Xu under your control, a dead puppet. Thirdly, I have no idea what you did to my precious asset Wen Zhuliu, I assume he too is flesh and bones.” Wen Ruohan sighed, “I tried to get my hands on Yin iron to get only half of what you could do.” 

Wei Wuxian hears the man clapping. “You have proved it!” The man blustered. “To achieve great power you need nothing more than sheer will and determination.” 

Wei Wuxian wanted to laugh. That's not all he had. If that could give him great power, he'd not be keeling before Wen Ruohan’s mercy. The sobs of a certain voice catches his attention. Wen Ning was dragged before him, right beside Wen Ruohan’s throne, on the other side was Wen Qing. She did not cry like her brother nor was she any better than him. 

“Try anything and these two will be dead.” Wen Ruohan said before Wei Wuxian could react. Su She stands right there, waiting for Wen Ruohan’s order to kill them. Wei Wuxian glared at the bastard's devious smirk. 

“I know you want them.” Wen Ruohan sounded like he was about to discuss business. He was certainly a great political person, he says, “Tell me how you control the ghouls and I'll give them to you.” 

Wen Ning shakes his head, resulting in him getting beaten again. Wen Qing looks at him pleadingly, as if saying let us die. 

“You can have anything. Or better yet you can be my heir.” the man slowly uttered to Wei Wuxian's face. “Yes Wei Wuxian, We can conquer the world with your wisdom. You can be my heir, you can have everything you want, money, clothes, luxuries. You can have my throne when the time comes.” 

Su She interfered “But Zongzhu he's‐” 

“Silence!” only to be silenced by his new master. 

Su She's face was turning blue. He was gobsmacked to lose the opportunity to gain Wen Ruohan’s favor and give that same favor to Wei Wuxian. 

“Zongzhu, young master Su has known this fellow since a young age.”  A servant who's been serving wine piques up. When he speaks he looks directly at Wei Wuxian with his fox-like eyes, “He might have valuable information.” 

There was an extra emphasis on the words' valuable information. And as he said those words his eyes averted to where the musicians were playing music. 

Wen Ruohan silenced him too, throwing wine at. 

The young man apologized for his lowly opinion. He was timid and had a short goatee,  and mustache like a certain someone Wei Wuxian knows.  He didn't know who this person was but he was familiar. His mind unintentionally shifted to the musicians. The qin player was a beautiful middle aged woman who had similarities to the young man, almost as if mother and son. 

 

Su She was blabbering about why letting Wei Wuxian live was a wrong idea. In the meantime the qin music played certain tunes that are used in musical code messages. The tunes played words like People, coming, save, wait. The words were played so quickly that if a skilled person didn't focus, he'd miss it. 

As Wen Ruohan was listening to Su She’s blabbering, he missed the quick change in music. 

“What else?” Wei Wuxian said, shifting Wen Ruohan’s focus on him. “What else are you willing to give?” 

Wen Ruohan huffed, “You sure are greedy.” 

“I want the fair price for my efforts and wisdom.” 

Wen Ruohan laughed. He said he'd make a contact after Wei Wuxian had proved himself by choosing sides. Wei Wuxian nodded. He lectured Wen Ruohan on ghouls, the methods of liberation and suppression and elimination. And the fourth method of orchestrated revenge, where the dead are brought back with amplified resentment to fulfill their dying wishes. The souls want to be understood, all they want is to fulfil their one last great wish. Using empathy he learns of what the tormented souls want and gives them a body to fulfil their wish and vice versa, he gives the dead body the ability to move consciously so they can get what they want. 

Wei Wuxian, as he explained, had gathered the rest of his energy to collect resentment. The people shouldn't face any obstacles reaching the sun palace as most of the cultivators and puppets were obliterated by him beforehand. 

Just as he expected, the doors to the Sect leaders hall burst open with cultivators of different coloured robes swarmed in with their respective weapons. Wei Wuxian let go of the resentment he was gathering, aiding the cultivators to fight the rest of Wen army. 

His eyes fixed on white and blue robes, one man in particular. He wielded a sword on each hand like water gods moved tides. He had an icy expression and a complexion paler than the snow. Despite that boring appearance he had fierce eyes like the golden sun, one that thaws the biggest of the glaciers. So how can Wei Wuxian, only a man, not melt at the mere sight of him. 

Lan Zhan bolted to him at once. His swords, Bichen and Suibian,  fly past Wei Wuxian's sides to pierce someone behind him. He turned to find Su She, one who tried to take advantage of the chaos and sneak behind Wei Wuxian, cursing and bleeding to his death. He throws the rest of the blood talisman at him before Su She could run away with his life. He doesn't have the strength to control him either. 

It reminds him nothing has ended yet. He glanced at where Wen Ning and Wen Qing were and found that Song Lan and Xiao Xichen were there as well. They signed something to his lover and ran out of the chaos with his friends.  He glanced at Wen Ruohan and found him fighting against Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue, Jiang Yanli attacked from afar with every opening she got. 

“Shijie!” Wei Wuxian tries to call out with his dry hoarse voice. The fear of watching her die again raises. 

 

“It's going to be okay!” growled his beloved lover, turning his body around. He's forced in the man's arms, face close to his chest, ears over his heart. The heart that Wei Wuxian was born to love, thumped like it was going to explode anytime soon. His lover again with almost like a broken sob said,“Look at only me!” 

Wei Wuxian, having found peace at last, breaks down to tears. “Lan Zhan!” He says crying loudly. He hopes again. He hopes of peace and home, of warmth and comfort. 

“Don't ever leave me again.” Lan Zhan sobs as well.  “Take me with you.” 

“I didn't leave you.” Wei Wuxian cried. From Lan Zhan's perspective it was Wei Wuxian who left him. How can Wei Wuxian make this person understand how desperately he begged to stay with Lan Zhan, how hopeless he was without Lan Zhan. 

Lan Zhan pulls him closer to press a deep kiss on his bloody chapped dry lips. Wei Wuxian wasn't anywhere near clean, his face was beyond recognition and yet Lan Zhan held him like he was the most precious treasure in his treasury. 

“I thought so.” the fool said with a foolish smile like he didn't just beg Wei Wuxian to never leave him again. 

Wei Wuxian didn't care if his lips were chapped dry or if his face looked horrible. He didn't care that they were in the middle of a chaotic battlefield where anyone could see them. He pulled his lover's face closer and kissed the man like they had met after a thousand years. 

“I have no one but you.” Wei Wuxians lips trembled as he kept saying, “You're my only person I can return to. I lost everything! I lost my parents, I lost Wuming, I lost you!” 

“I'm here!” Lan Zhan pulled him closer.

“Please stay!Please stay with me forever. Don't leave me all alone. I'm so lonely without you.” Wei Wuxian cried out what he couldn't say to Wuming.

“I'm here.” His lover repeated again. 

“I didn't want this! I swear I didn't want this! But I‐ I had no choice. And I- I…” 

The chaos gets louder and Wei Wuxian's vision blurs. He suddenly remembered how weak he was. He didn't eat anything for a week and exerted all his energy in the fight. He was probably bleeding from his nose and eyes again. He catches a glimpse of blood on Lan Zhan’s white robes. Before he loses his consciousness all he could hear was his lover's voice calling his name. 

 

 

 

 

---

 

He opens his eyes after hearing soft sobs of a voice he loved dearly. The familiarity of Jingshi welcomes him like an old friend. Sizhui gasps out “A-die” and holds his hands like he used to do as a child when he was scared. 

“Wangji,” Brother calls from the other side of the bed. He looked old, older than the one he remembers seeing. Then again, that was from another life. This older, wrinkled man was his real brother of his time. 

“A-Yuan,” Lan Wangji pats his son's head. “What's wrong?” 

His son's face breaks trying to answer what's wrong. Despite being a grown man, he is always a baby to him. 

“You died–is what's wrong!” Lan Jingyi complains. He was there too. The corners of his eyes were bright and puffier than his son and brother. Despite crying the hardest he still has the gall to complain like Lan Wangji owes him an explanation. 

“I'm not….yet.” Lan Wangji huffs, weakly. His lungs are weaker than he remembers. His joints are no better than rusty hinges. He is old too, like his brother, maybe older than him after carrying the grief of lost ones all these years. 

“Please don't joke like that.” A-Yuan wailed, “It doesn't suit you at all.” 

Ouch. 

Wei Ying would have hollered in laughter. 

“Wangji, what happened?” Lan Xichen mused, skimming his eyes all over Lan Wangji's face. He said with a disbelieving smile, “You look….happy.” 

Lan Wangji sat up with the help of his son. He looked out his windows where there would be a peony bush had Wei Ying been in his life. His bed would have two pillows instead of one. The walls of Jingshi would have been  decorated with the paintings Wei Ying made.  The right wall would have a hanging scroll with Wei Ying's poetry that Wei Ying got embarrassed of each time it looked at him. The vanity table and desk tops would have been full of trinkets Wei Ying gifted him.  The bedside desk would have a vase full of fresh flowers Wei Ying picked out. The Jingshi would feel less dull and more lively. 

Lan Wangji smiles. These aren't his imagination. In another life, in another time, it was all real. “I met someone while I was gone.” 

“Please, A-Die you were not gone. Don't say it like that!” his son wails again, subtly this time. 

“Yeah Hanguang-jun! You were just… in a deep sleep! In a really deep sleep.” Lan Jingyi adds, sniffling indignantly. 

Lan Wangji was ought to repermind the two for their misconduct. But all Lan Wangji could do was huff and smile at their refusal to his death.Shufu would have scolded Lan Wangji had he been there. 

“I apologise for my choice of words. I had a good dream. I met someone in this dream.” 

His son and brother understood instantly who he met. There was only one person that couldn make Lan Wangji that happy. His brother gave him a compassionate smile. A-Yuan tenderly gazed at him, waiting to know more. 

He asked to have alone time with his son. Lan Jingyi left releculently with Lan Xichen, telling him that his grandchildren were waiting for him outside. 

“A-Yuan,” Lan Wangji held his son's guqin calloused hands as he said, “I don't have much time left.” 

His sons burst into tears again, “Please don't say this.” He hides himself in Lan Wangji's chest, “How can I live without you, who will protect me if you're gone?” 

Lan Wangji held A-Yuan's trembling body like he did the first time he found him in the burial mounds. He was so small back then, so weak and prone to death. Lan Wangji was always afraid of losing him as well. He lost everyone he ever loved. First his mother, and then Wei Ying, and then when he thought he'd always be with the other worldly Wei Ying, fate brought him back to where he belonged. 

“You're stronger than anyone I know.” Lan Wangji wished he could say more. “I have someone waiting for me on the other side.” 

“But–” 

“I've made him wait too long. You know he's not good at being patient.” 

A-Yuan snickers. He only knew about Wei Ying through the stories Lan Wangji had told him. Yet he cared for the man deeply as though they knew each other personally. “Did he visit you to complain about this?” 

“Actually-” Lan Wangji tells his son the truth. What happened after he lost consciousness. Where he was and what he was doing during the time he was asleep. He tells him about the regrets he still has after everything. 

“Then I hope in that life, I get to be your son again,” His son says, wiping his tears. “With both of you in my life.” 

“I believe you'll be our son in every universe.” Lan Wangji hugs the boy as though he won't get to hug him ever again. 

 

Lan Wangji requests his son to help him fulfil the wishes Wei Ying had. 

At first no one believed Wen Ning was still in Jin captivity. Lan Xichen was torn between helping his brother and the brother he was sworn with. After a lot of requests and fights among two brothers who were too old to be fighting, Lan Xichen agreed to investigate the matter. 

Wen Ning’s unconscious corpse was found in the dungeons of Jin Guangyao's prisons. Song Lan and Xichen's bodies were found soon after. Nie Mingjue’s death was exposed and it turned out Nie Huaisang knew about it all along. He cried to Lan Wangji stating that he had tried everything to expose the truth but failed them eventually. Xue Yang was finally executed for his long list of  crimes, and Jin Guangyao was exposed with the help of his son. The fake Yin tiger seal was confesticated and kept under Gusu Lan supervision. 

The undead body at that point had no soul to be conscious or their souls had found their ways to nest in the bodies from another life. A-Yuan prepared a funeral for each body. He paid extra respect to Wen Ning’s funeral as a part of his family. 

Wei Wuxian's funeral was held privately with just him and his son. Lan Wangji offered him jars of Emperor's smile hoping that if Wei Ying was watching, he'd be happy. He told his son the things Wei Ying wanted to tell him, going through another session of crying and hugging. 

 

He waits for his last breath eagerly. One day Lan Wangji would close his eyes for the last time. His eyes would open to find Wei Ying waiting at Naihe bridge to complain how bored he was and how late Lan Wangji was. They'd happily drink the tea of meng po knowing that their souls were bound to each other. And maybe they'll be reborn again as Lan Zhan and Wei Ying, maybe next time they'll be neighbours, or childhoods friends, if not, then they'd go to the same school, if not then they'll be co workers, if not these then they'll find a way to each other by any means, and they'll fall in love again just as they promised.

 

Notes:

I hope you liked this chapter and it met some of your expectations. I'm too tired to think of anything better (ToT)

Chapter 57

Notes:

Here it is!!! The last chapter and an end of an era (for me)

The first memories Wei Wuxian has of Wuming were like a fever dream. 

“I'm a dragon.” Wuming had said. 

Wei Wuxian believed it was a dream. Wei Wuxian wanted it to be true. Wei Wuxian wanted those hugs, those scoldings, those naggings to last forever. 

And for a kind moment it was true. For a wonderfully long time, Wei Wuxian believed he wasn't dreaming and Wuming would be with him forever. 

Wuming promised.

But promises are hard to keep.Sometimes, the universe plays a dirty prank and forces us to break our promises. 

Wei Wuxian wakes up everyday, hoping just for a second, that Wuming is there again purring softly by his side, only to remember their journey together was over. 

There were no more coiling warm hugs, no more scoldings, no more naggings. Just when he took Wuming’s presence for granted, fate separated their paths. 

 

Life felt gray and cold again. 

But Wuming left his luck to Wei Wuxian. 

Lan Zhan, the most wonderful boy Wei Wuxian knows, stayed by his side no matter how awfully long the winter was. He didn't let the gray dullness effect Wei Wuxian's heart and soul. He kept Wei Wuxian's feet warm as Wei Wuxian trod through knee high snow. He didn't let Wei Wuxian sleep with an empty stomach no matter how much he fought against food.

His lucky charm patiently nurtured him all winter until the last of snow melted and new buds of spring emerged. 

 

How could the snow not melt when Lan Zhan carried the fragrance of spring with him, a pair of eyes resembling a midday sun of breezy spring. 

 

Wei Wuxian, despite his repeated loss, had not lost the desire to keep the spring forever. His fear of loss gets the best of him, making him believe he could lose this boy any given moment.

 

Wei Wuxian does what he's best at, and what Lan Zhan approved of, he smiled and he loved. He smiled his way into the spring and loved back the boy who patiently waited for him to return. He loved his lover everyday like it was their last day together, and his lover returned it ten fold. 

 

They share his pain, heartache and recurring nightmares with each other, and it is as though the shared sorrow is truly halved and somehow gets multiplied by zero. 

 

It's strange how memories of another life can affect a person. They don't have scars of the past, no Wen insignia branded to their chests, no one was whipped as punishment, no one had to sacrifice their golden cores to return a debt, no one had to live in poverty, none had to live all alone. 

 

And yet, their heart carries those scars like their own. They grieve the life Yiling Laozu lost, the lives innocent Wens lost, the lonely life Hanguang-jun lived, the desolated life Wuming accepted. 

 

Wei Wuxian thought losing his parents was his greatest grief. Then, losing Wuming felt like losing a part of himself. When he lost his parents he was only a child, a child who ignored his heartache to survive in the wild. He didn't recognise his own emotions back then. Losing his parents didn't hurt as bad as losing Wuming. 

Unlike his parents, he grew up with Wuming, he has good and bad memories with Wuming, he has learned and taught with Wuming. Wuming was a part of his life. And the loss of Wuming was greater. He knew what heartache was, he knew the names of what he felt, and he had enough time to sit with those feelings. 

 

Wei Wuxian was broken after that. When he next woke up he was frightened of almost everyone he knew. He kept remembering how these same people once led a siege on, he kept thinking how those people would want to kill him again had Wei Wuxian shown more of his ghost cultivation methods.

Even with Lan Xichen, under whose playful care he grew up with, Wei Wuxian couldn't continue a conversation without breaking out in hives. He didn't want to see Jiang Cheng anymore. He didn't want to be near Jin or Nie clan. He wanted to run far away from those people. He couldn't tolerate anyone.

 

After he was captured by the Wens, the combined forces of the sun shot campaign didn't last more than two weeks. Nie Mingjue prepared for a battle he knew in his heart. Meng Yao infiltrated within the servants of Wen Ruohan with his mother as a musician. They collected valuable information and sent them to Lan Xichen, who later  improved Nie Mingjue’s tactics. It was Meng Yao who told Lan Zhan where to find Wei Wuxian. It was him who gave the final blow to Wen Ruohan’s death.

Meng Yao later got accepted as Jin Guangyao as the eldest son of Jin Guanshan. Considering his mother's contribution and the public's praises, Jin Guanshan had to accept his mistress as his secondary wife. People thought this would cause a great drama between the two wives of Jin. However, they proved people wrong by getting along extremely well while scolding their lecherous husband together. 

Jin Guangyao became the first heir of Jin as the former heir left his family to be a part of Jiang clan as Jiang Yanli's husband. Wei Wuxian has heard that the two met when Jiang Yanli was on the run after the massacre of lotus pier and was separated from her brother. People say, Jin Zixuan rushed to find his ex-fiance after learning about the attack. They say, the two still had lingering feelings for each other that brought them together in the end. They also say, it was thanks to Jin Zixuan that Jiang Yanli was alive. Wei Wuxian refuses to believe that rumor. He believes Jiang Yanli saved herself on her own and Jin Zixuan was just there, just like how Jiang Yanli joined forces to attack Wen Ruohan while Jin Zixuan was just there. 

She later became the sect leader of the renewed Lotus pier. Wei Wuxian kept contact with her but couldn't attend her wedding ceremony, or he just didn't have the heart to. His fears stopped him from being near her. He didn't attend Jin Ling's one hundred day ceremony fearing what happened to Yiling Laozu will also happen to him.

Wei Wuxian avoided repeating anything that Yiling Laozu did. He was not known as the war hero of sun shot campaign. He was just a prodigy who fell victim to Wen Ruohan’s greed. His ghost cultivation methods were not known to most. No news of Yin iron destruction left the cloud recesses. People believed that Wen Chao was successful in his attack and it was Wen Ruohan’s miscalculation that resulted in his sect’s self-destruction. Wei Wuxian avoided attending cultivational conferences after the fall of Wen sect. He wandered among people to help the surviving Wen family settle peacefully. 

The task itself was not easy. Jin clan and Nie clan were against the idea of letting the Wens live freely. Wei Wuxian was afraid he might have to run away with them to the burial mounds once again. It was all thanks to Xiao Xichen and Song Lan that he narrowly dodged the arrow. The duo had a newly built a sect of their own in Sudong and they took Wen Ning’s family under their care. The missive Lan Qiren had about the Wen deflection was a great help to relocate the branch family though with  a condition that the first and second generation of Wen can not mingle outside their new sect. 

Lan Qiren avoided Wei Wuxian just as Wei Wuxian avoided Lan Qiren. Each encounter was a silent war. Despite that, Lan Qiren didn't disappoint him by betraying the values Gusu Lan stands for. And that was something Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but be grateful for. And a part of him longs for the banter he used to have with that old man. He kept reminding himself that the people that led the siege on Yiling Laozu were from Yiling Laozu's life. Wei Wuxian was not the Yiling Laozu in this world, nor was there a chance of siege upon him. 

Hanguang-jun didn't leave him alone in this world, neither did he exist.

Lan Zhan was Lan Zhan. And Lan Zhan missed his home, even if he doesn't let it show.

Wei Wuxian also missed the place he grew up in. He has kept Lan Zhan away from his home and lived the life of a barbarian for a long time. 

 

“We can turn back.” Lan Zhan nudged him as he breathed out a gust of cold air. 

“No more turning back. I want this.” Wei Wuxian responded with a smile as big and shiny as a crescent moon. Faced before the thousand steps of snow covered mountain of Gusu Lan's cloud recesses, Wei Wuxian is hit with memories of his first steps in this fairyland. 

The first time he came to cloud recesses, Lan Zhan was holding his hand. Years later after his elopement, as he returns to the same place again, Lan Zhan holds his hand the same manner. The first time Wei Wuxian walked in the cloud recesses he was wearing Lan Zhan's spare robes, as his friend. Years later as he steps in cloud recesses again, he is wearing Lan Zhan's spare robes with the cloud patterned ribbon around his forehead.  He enters the ground as Lan Zhan's undeclared spouse.

The first time Wei Wuxian treaded through the snow covered courtyard, it was devoid of any welcome. 

“Wei Shixiong you're back!” Wei Wuxian was welcomed as he stepped in the courtyard. “Wei Wuxian is back!” Wei Wuxian was received with jovial salutations by his peers all around. In a blink the courtyard was a hot crowd that even the northern snow had to melt before the warm reception. Lan Zhan squeezed his hands as they walked further in the cloud recesses. The edge they feared was how the elders would receive the news of their return. They had always feared that if they ever return, their elders might force them to separate as they did with Madam Lan and Qingheng-jun. 

Lan Zhan promised he'd not make the same mistake his father did. Wei Wuxian cared more about Lan Zhan's comfort than worrying about what waited for him. If push comes to shove, he might as well do what Madam Lan did, dooming himself for the sake of love. 

 

As soon as they crossed paths with their elders, Lan Zhan's hand clenched around bichen’s hilt. Wei Wuxian stood straight before them, silently declaring they have to go through him first. Lan Yan scoffed as his eyes met Lan Zhan's. “Like father, like son!” he gritted his teeth and walked away, ignoring Wei Wuxian completely. Shocked by the eldest’s reaction, other elders had very few to say. They exchanged eye contact among themselves and left the premises with whispers of fate. 

 

“That's it?” Wei Wuxian let out a nervous laugh. “I thought I have to use my unorthodox path to get them to accept me.” 

Lan Zhan frowned, “We don't need to be accepted by all, not them.” 

“Oh husband, it's the wife's duty to become friendly with the in-laws.” Wei Wuxian whines, wiggling his body like a worm, “How will this fragile new bride survive if their marital family is cruel to them?” 

“You're not a new bride.” Lan Zhan uttered through much difficulty as his ears turned warm red.  

Wei Wuxian pouted, crossing his arms over his chest like a teenage maiden, “What do you mean I'm not a new bride? Did you not just tie your sacred ribbon around my forehead so that you could marry me?” 

“I did.” the man agreed with a slow nod. “And I've done so for years.” 

Wei Wuxian's mind lit up. He acted surprised with a low oooohh sound, and hung himself around Lan Zhan's shoulders. He lifted Lan Zhan's chin with one dainty finger as he painted a sly smile, “Er-gege, Are you saying I'm an old bride? Is playing with this one not fun anymore? Do you want a new bride to play with?” 

Lan Zhan grabbed the hand below his chin, “That is not what I meant.” 

“Then what did you mean, hmmm?” 

Lan Zhan raised the hand he grabbed closer to his face. With a soft kiss on the knuckles of Wei Wuxian’s hand he says, “I meant that you've always been my wife, new or old doesn't matter.” 

Wei Wuxian's face heated up enough to steam. He jerked his hand away from the kiss as if that same hand wasn't stroking that man's dick for years. To cover up his shyness, Wei Wuxian softly punched Lan Zhan's chest,“So bold! I know that's not what you initially meant, you smart-ass jerk!” 

Lan Zhan catches both of Wei Wuxian’s hands and turns them around swiftly. His clutch was tight enough to restrain Wei Wuxian from his playful fight. With his hands clutched behind his back, Wei Wuxian had no other choice but to grumpily stare at Lan Zhan. The taller one doesn't hesitate a beat to lean in to melt that grumpy pout with an open mouthed kiss. 

 

Wei Wuxian melts in that kiss without a drop of shame. He has been kissed a thousand times a thousand ways, yet he can't never have enough of kissing this same man over and over again. 

“Ahem, Ahem.” Comes a very familiar sound. They both flinch with their hearts at their throat to find that Lan Xichen was waiting before them around the corner. Over the two years of travelling they got used to kissing in open spaces, and completely forgot they can't do the same in Cloud recesses anymore– not without scaring someone's virgin eyes. 

“We've been meaning to meet you, but you two wouldn't stop–” the older of the two Lan brothers, Lan Xichen says with a wavering smile and a very brightly red face. 

“Xiongzhang!” they both greeted with flushed faces. 

“Wait a minute-” Wei Wuxian sweating in gusu snow perplexed, “what do you mean by We ?” 

Another man in white and blue comes forward with a blushing red face. 

“Qingheng-jun!” Wei Wuxian yelps and bows his head really low. His heart leaps out of his chest and soul withers out of his body. He feels such shame knowing he was found kissing the man's sons. Although the news of them being in love in a very romantic way was revealed during the attack in Gusu Lan when Wei Wuxian profoundly placed a kiss on top of Lan Zhan’s forehead, above his ribbon. They've been found kissing several times for news to reach the mountains of Gusu. He knows that Qingheng-jun knows what kind of relationship he is in with his son yet, he feels extremely embarrassed to meet the man eye to eye. 

“You two have grown up a lot.” Qingheng-jun clears his throat. “And,” the man hesitates to continue till Wei Wuxian looked up to see what kind of face the man was making. To his surprise, there was no hate but compassion. He looked at Wei Wuxian the way he always did. The man smiled and asked, “Wuxian, there's someone you should be meeting.” 

 

“Father,” Lan Zhan steps forward with a small bow. He shields Wei Wuxian with his whole being, stepping before his father with a silent rage.

The clan leader, well versed in patience, isn't affected by his son's mien temper. He glanced at them with a melancholy Wei Wuxian has seen before. The man smiled a small smile and murmured, “I'd be a hypocrite if I say anything against you two.” The man turned around tilting his head, “We have a lot to discuss. Come to my quarters while Wuxian meets him .” 

 

Wei Wuxian believed it was time to face him . He encouraged Lan Zhan to catch up with his brother and father as he decided to tread a familiar path. 

He knocks on the door once and laughs to himself. He was never the one to follow such manners. He announces his presence as he steps in the quarters of a man he respects yet has somehow disrespected several times. The man sits before his old desk with a pile of yellow papers and scrolls. A tea pot rests right beside his papers and a cup of warm green tea fills the room with the scent of tea leaves. He doesn't acknowledge Wei Wuxian's presence in the room, nor does he budge. Wei Wuxian watches the man reviewing papers after papers, marking them with red ink with frowns and scoffs. His voice has grown thicker. His goatee has grown longer with more silver streaks. Strands of silver hair glisten on the crown of his head. His forehead has more wrinkles than Wei Wuxian remembers. 

The man who hated him in another life, took him in on his own in this life. The man who made it a crime to interact with him in some other world, gave him a shelter in this world. These conflicting images of the man terrified Wei Wuxian more. He did not experience such hate from the man first hand, and he is afraid he will sooner or later. It'll break his heart if his fears come true but he is not hopeful either. 

The man pours himself another cup of warm tea, sips it and clears his throat. He divides the pile of papers in half, shoving one half of the pile to the side of the desk Wei Wuxian was standing before. Placing a fresh brush on top of the pile he acknowledges Wei Wuxian's presence by saying, “Get to work.” 

“Get to Work!?!” Wei Wuxian squawked. “Not even a ‘how have you been’ or 'where have you been', am I just an assistant with papers long overdue to you?” 

Lan Qiren doesn't pay heed to his seagull like squawkings. He sips his bitter tea and ignores Wei Wuxian like the sugar he never adds. 

Wei Wuxian huffs angrily and slumps down before the papers rolling his sleeves. Like before, Wei Wuxian helps out Lan Qiren with his work reviewing poorly written reports of young disciples. It's almost as though the last two or three years of nightmare didn't happen at all. He feels like the same teen helping his grumpy workaholic teacher, Wuming waiting in a corner of the window wagging his tail and and as soon as the work is done he can go out and meet his secret lover to take a romantic walk in Caiyi town. 

 

“Do you still use resentful energy?” Lan Qiren quietly asked, eyes glued to the paper and ink.

Of course, no matter how nostalgic Wei Wuxian feels, whatever happened for the last few years, happened for real. He can't and he won't undo what he did. And he is ready to bear the consequences of his actions. 

“Yes,” Wei Wuxian answered without looking. 

“Hmmm.” Lan Qiren let out a displeased groan,  “I don't notice it on you.” 

“It doesn't work like that. I'm not a ghoul. I'm still and will continue to be a human.” 

“Qi deviations?”

“My Qi flows perfectly within me.” 

“Lying is forbidden.” 

“It was not a lie.” 

Lan Qiren put down the brush and finally looked at him, though angrily. “It's impossible to have a balanced qi if you are controlling resentful energy.” 

Wei Wuxian also put down his brush, meeting eye to eye with the for the first time in a while, despite in an argument. “I balance it. If it's too much I use external force.” 

“There's no such external force that can bala–” 

Before Lan Qiren can say his words, Wei Wuxian shamelessly utters, “Dual cultivation!” making the man choke on nothing. After coughing for an embarrassingly long time, the man yells “Wei Wuxian!” with a deep angry red face, getting ready to throw his scrolls at him.  

“What!? You wanted the truth and I gave you the truth!” 

Lan Qiren opened his mouth to yell more but stopped once it occurred to him that it was not worth the effort when he was yelling at Wei Wuxian. He conducted himself properly, pinching the bridge of his nose. Not even half an hour into interacting with Wei Wuxian, he already has a terrible headache. 

“Shameless,” Lan Qiren groaned and murmured to himself “Why didn't I see this coming.” 

“It's not news to you, is it?” Wei Wuxian backed up, confidently folding his arms over his chest, “Everyone in cultivational world knows the kind of relationship me and Lan Zhan are in.”

Lan Qiren gulps down another cup of tea. He doesn't respond to Wei Wuxian for a while, stroking his goatee in swift motion. “That's why we are here.” Wei Wuxian hesitantly stated. 

“Which is…” 

Getting the opening to fill in Wei Wuxian responded, “What's the point of elopement if everyone knows…… and besides, Lan Zhan should live in his own home, in his own land…. not a nomadic life.” 

Lan Qiren's stiff shoulders relaxed. 

Wei Wuxian quickly states, “But that doesn't mean I'm giving up on him or we are giving up on each other. We're going to live together, the way we've been for years. If Gusu Lan doesn't accept us…. We'll elope again.” 

Lan Qiren scoffed, “Refusing the truth will not make it any less real. Turning away won't undo what you have done.” 

Wei Wuxian fixed his gaze at the man and said, “I won't apologise for it anymore. I did what I needed to do to survive.” He lowered his gaze and murmured, trying not to show his vulnerability, “But I promise I've never harmed anyone for selfish reasons.” 

“You….” Lan Qiren says, his gaze wandering around Wei Wuxian’s forehead, on the ribbon Lan Zhan tied. “Are no longer an outsider. No one has the power to kick you out. And….” Lan Qiren sighed as he added, “The clan leader has reprieved the punishment my elders wanted.” 

“Oh…” Wei Wuxian uttered like a fool. He didn't have much to say. He was waiting for Lan Qiren to bring up the topic. He was ready to accept a long term punishment. Little did he expect Qingheng-jun to use his power to pardon Wei Wuxian's actions. 

“It's unexpected, I know.” Lan Qiren gives off  a bitter smile, “The man who didn't use his power to save his own wife, has come to some senses to save his son's wife.” 

“Shufu!!!!!” Wei Wuxian flustered. He was totally, completely, dumbfoundedly mortified that Lan Qiren referred to him as Qingheng-jun's son's wife. 

“What?” the old man scoffed, “Are you the husband? Do you even have enough dowry to give this family's bride!?” 

“Shufu, have you gone insane?” Wei stands up not being able to sit still and accept the fact that Lan Qiren accepted him as he is. 

“If you are so sane, you should better be demanding high dowry from that man.” 

“People will call me materialistic!” 

“People call you enough names already, what's one more!” 

“Oh god!” Wei Wuxian slams his hands against his face out of shame and excitement. He can't believe the man that called him the worst of his students is now advising him to demand dowry…. as a bride! He can't believe Lan Qiren was able to get his shameless ass be so red with embarrassment. Wei Wuxian felt so defeated that he was brought to such shyness. He needed to keep his face and flip the table with something more embarrassing. 

“I've had children with Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian shouted.

“What!” Lan Qiren choked. 

Having the opportunity to baffle Lan Qiren, Wei Wuxian gained more confidence.  “A girl and a boy!” 

“As if eloping with my nephew was not shameless enough! You decide to have children with him!”  Lan Qiren was so infuriated to his limits that he really started to throw scrolls at Wei Wuxian. 

Wei Wuxian dodged every scroll with practiced ease. “We both wanted children. And we've always planned to have twins, a boy and a girl.” 

“Don't spout nonsense!” Lan Qiren had no more scrolls to throw. He pointed his brush at Wei Wuxian as reality finally hit him. “Youre both boys.” 

“And the sun rises in the east.” Wei Wuxian states, trying not to burst into laughter. “I never said I gave birth to them.” 

The brush in Lan Qiren's fist snaps in two. His veins popped out of his forehead, “Be precise. What do you mean, a boy and a girl?” 

Wei Wuxian stacks the scrolls back together as he elaborated. “To be more precise, they are Wen orphans I saved from the underground confinement. All the other children had a family member of their own, the two we adopted had no one to call their own. They are not twins as I wanted. But it's the same thing if we adopted them at the same time, right?” 

Lan Qiren gives him a serious glare, “It was a condition that Wens do not mingle outside the settlement.” 

“Respectfully, I don't give a fuck about those conditions.” Wei Wuxian glares just as a parental instinct to protect his children possess him. “They are my children, and if anyone has a say to that, they better say it to my face.” 

Lan Qiren didn't press any further. He just shook his head in a defeated manner and said, “This is no good. Having children before marriage registry is unacceptable.” 

Wei Wuxian asked dumbfounded, “What marriage registry?” 

Wei Wuxian sits astounded in his marriage chamber. Ornaments sit atop his crown, a red veil covers him from head to chest. The dates and fragrant flowers lay scattered on the bed as inanimately as him. The daze of marriage had yet to be gone. He has been completely stupified by the following days after his return in cloud recesses. 

 

Soon after his meeting with Lan Qiren, he demanded that Wei Wuxian be married with the heir he eloped with, as it is dishonorable to stay unmarried while being involved like that . Qingheng-jun agreed, even offered all arrangements for his second son's wedding, without batting an eye to the fact that the bride is Wei Wuxian, a boy who has broken and encouraged the said son to break many rules of the sect, and surely will continue to do so. Most of the elders were clearly unhappy by the announcement, but the seniors, juniors, and his peers were over the clouds. The ceremony was so quickly arranged that Wei Wuxian barely had the time to comprehend what was going on. He could barely meet Lan Zhan for it is a rule that the bride must not meet the husband before the marriage ceremony.  His peers made sure that Lan Zhan doesn't get near Wei Wuxian's room, and Wei Wuxian doesn't sneak out. His beloved senior brothers and sisters took the duty of managing his part of the chores such as jewellery selection and bridal robe measurements and who knows what else. 

As per tradition, they took their marriage bows in the ancestral hall. The hall wasn't as ostentatiously decorated as it had been during other marriage ceremonies but there was more than enough. The fact that Wei Wuxian got to get married to Lan Zhan in front of others was more than he could ask for. 

 

“Isn't it a bit weird that the bride's children are attending their parent's wedding ceremony?” Wen Qing snorts as she checks out the bridal chamber decoration, in the name of keeping him company.

“That's a great experience in my opinion.” Jiang Yanli chimes giggling along, here for the same mentioned reason. “Aren't you enjoying your mother's marriage,  A-Tuo?”

“He's not my mother!” Wen Tuo, the orphaned girl Wei Wuxian adopted with Lan Zhan, whined as she pouted. 

“Is he not?” Jiang Yanli giggled again, “I'm pretty sure he said he birthed you and your brother the last time I met him.” 

Wen Tuo rolls on the bed whining like she always does, “Because he is weird and says funny things all the time.” 

Wen Yuan crawls and pats her head like a caring brother.

The two children latched onto them after the settlement in Sudong. Whenever Wei Wuxian went for a visit, the two would always occupy them with their little shenanigans. Wei Wuxian was sure about adopting Wen Yuan. As soon as he saw Wen Tuo putting flowers in Lan Zhan's braid, he knew he always wanted a daughter. The Wen family was supportive of their decisions. Wen Qing and Wen Ning would rather have the two orphans live a life with the care of a full family than live under the estranged sect settlement with no-one special to look after them. They've been adopted for over a year, far past the awkwardness of having two guys as their parents. Wen Yuan is too young to care. Wen Tuo however, can't forget her birth parents, often switching to calling them gege instead of baba or A-die. 

“A-Tuo, it's prohibited to whine like that in this sect.” Wen Qing reminds the little girl. “Do you know how many rules you have to follow here?” 

Wen Tuo responds grumpily, “I know, that pretty gege told me about the rules.” 

Wei Wuxian's mind catches the confusion. He lifts his veil and asks, “Pretty gege? You mean Lan Zhan, right?” 

“No, that gege in blue robes.” 

Jiang Yanli snorts inelegantly, “You wake up only after your daughter mentions a boy. I've been trying get you out of your haze.” 

Wei Wuxian is too concerned about his daughter to pay heed to the Jiang sect's matriarch .

“Which gege, what's his name?” Wei Wuxian asks frantically. He doesn't know what's taken over him to suddenly be so defensive about it. 

His daughter murmurs while playing with the hem of her skirt, “He said his name was Yawen.” 

“Yawen!” Wei Wuxian folds his veil atop his head out of the shock. “Lan Yawen?!” 

Wen Tuo nods. 

“Why did you call him pretty gege? Why not just gege? When did you meet him? Where were you two? Were there other adults? Where was Wen Ning when you met him?”

From his side the two women giggled as if this was the funniest show they've ever seen. He didn't get what was so funny about it. He didn't understand why he was so offended by Lan Yawen talking to his daughter. That's his favourite student that he indulged so much. It's only natural that his student befriends his daughter. Still, he is not happy about it all.

“A-Tuo,” Wei Wuxian says strictly, “Lan sect is strictly segregated. The boys are not allowed to talk to the girls, and vice versa, girls shouldn't call random boys pretty gege.” 

Wen Tuo sat upright in defence. She pouted as if Wei Wuxian had greatly wronged her. “Gege was pretty so i called him pretty gege. You also call A-die pretty gege, so why can't I?” 

“Me and Lan Zhan are different!” Wei Wuxian ignores the way the women were dying out of laughter. “We are getting married, so it's okay for us. You, little mistress, are not allowed not to call anyone pretty gege.” 

 

Wen Tuo’s pout gets bigger. By her stance she looked as if he was about so say another of her “But baba–” 

“Alright, that's enough argument for today!” Jiang Yanli calps. She picked up Wen Tuo from the bed to her lap, squeezing her in her arms. Wen Qing fixes Wei Wuxian's veil for him, rolling her eyes with a fond smile. 

“A-Tuo,” Jiang Yanli says to his daughter, “If you ever feel like your fathers are being unfair to you, just come over to me or give me a message and I'll hide you in my house.” 

“What nonsense jiejie, that won't ever happen, at least not when Lan Zhan is in the picture!” Wei Wuxian defends themselves. 

“Please A-Xian, I can already see it.” Jiang Yanli rolls her eyes like Wen Qing does. She has grown really close to Wen Qing after she became the matriarch of Jiang clan, to the point she's started to pick on her bad habits. 

“She is just a child, and yet you scolded her like she was flirting with that boy.” Wen Qing shakes her head in distress. 

“What did I do wrong?” 

“Ass! You were being an ass!” 

Wei Wuxian gasped dramatically, covering Wen Yuan's ears as he scolded, “Wen Qing! Language!” 

 

Just at that moment, boisterous cheers of the groomsmen arrived at the Jingshi. “The groom is here!” Mianmian peeked in, running as quickly as she could without breaking a rule. Jiang Yanli and Wen Qing pick up the kids fixing Wei Wuxian's posture as quickly as they can. Wei Wuxian's heartbeat starts picking up an increasing rhythm as the room is soon emptied. The boys outside the Jingshi cheer Lan Zhan for a happy married life. Soon enough the door is locked, and he could hear one of the boys yell, “Just in case you forget!” 

Wei Wuxian blushes knowing they put a silencing talismans out the door. He blushes more as he thinks how everyone is just casually expecting them to fuck. He wanted to run away from the cloud recesses again. 

Lan Zhan stands before the bed taking a loud inhale. They've played being groom and bride before. But none were as real as the actual ceremony. Wei Wuxian is the actual bride of Gusu Lan's second heir. Lan Zhan is in actual groom's ceremonial robes. They are in an actual marriage chamber. Even though they've fucked a hundred times before, it was the first time they are fucking with everyone's consent and it was embarrassing and Wei Wuxian thinks his heart will explode the longer he waits. 

“How long will you keep me waiting, Lao gong?” Wei Wuxian whined behind his veil.

Lan Zhan, beautiful and handsome even behind the opaque veil, crosses the distance between and sits before Wei Wuxian. He wipes his clammy hands on the bed sheet before extending his hands to lift the veil. His nervousness makes Wei Wuxian giggle, as if this really was the first time Lan Zhan was meeting his bride. 

“Why so nervous, husband?” Wei Wuxian smirked as soon as the veil was lifted from his face. He is watching his legally married husband for the first time since the ceremony. Without the veil covering his vision he can see how close to combustion Lan Zhan truly was. 

Lan Zhan gaped as though he's seen some other face instead of his. He caresses Wei Wuxian's jaw and cups his face with both hands to check if the face was really Wei Wuxian's. 

“What? Am I too pretty for you to believe?”  

Lan Zhan nodded, “Mn, pretty. So so pretty.” 

His voice was so sincere that Wei Wuxian blushed harder. 

“Am I so very pretty that you can't look away?” 

Lan Zhan nodded and smiled. “Mn, so pretty that I can't look away.” As he spoke his voice wavered, his eyes glistened with tears. 

Baffled, Wei Wuxian asked, “H-hey!! Are you going to cry!?” 

To his surprise, Lan Zhan does end up crying. He rests his forehead on Wei Wuxian's shoulder and sobs. Wei Wuxian takes off the ornaments from Lan Zhan's hair and runs his fingers through them. He pats Lan Zhan until he has cried enough. 

“I did not believe this could be possible.” 

“Me neither.”

“I was afraid.” 

“Hey, No more of that!”

“I am glad, it is you.” 

“It has to be me.” Wei Wuxian chuckles, “I wouldn't let anyone else have you.” 

“Me neither.” 

Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but laugh. He knows. He knows to what extent Lan Zhan can go to be with him. And Wei Wuxian will return that love in ten folds. He cups Lan Zhan's face and brings him closer for a soft chaste kiss on the lips. But it was Lan Zhan he was kissing, chastity wasn't something they could follow through. Their kiss soon becomes passionate and full of hunger. Wei Wuxian flips their posting, pushing Lan Zhan on the mattress as he sits above the man. 

“Tonight's not a night of sadness.” He whispers, drawing apart his ceremonial robes to expose  his chest. He immediately feels the effect of his boldness on his ass, Lan Zhan's erection growing harder. “Everyone's expecting you to fuck me.” 

Lan Zhan pressed down Wei Wuxian's hips on his yet to uncover cock. Wei Wuxian tugs open Lan Zhan's robes, revealing hard muscles and defined abs. His body had grown so beautifully over the years that Wei Wuxian salvates even at the thought of licking those pecs. He leans down to kiss the pecs as his hands work down to expose the man's growing erection. 

“Why are you restraining yourself, Lao gong!” Wei Wuxian complains as he notices how Lan Zhan was turning red with withhold breath. 

“We skipped a few customs.” Lan Zhan exhales. 

Wei Wuxian laughed, “Who cares about customs, Lan Zhan.” He pulled the red marriage ribbon around Lan Zhan's forehead and voluntarily tied it around his wrist using his mouth. Showing his work to his officially married husband he says like a slut, “I'm trying to fuck myself on your cock, pay attention to me.” 

Hearing such a shameless declaration, Lan Zhan didn't act so civilly anymore. His cock was as hard as a rock, angry red with veins pumping outwards, poking against Wei Wuxian's inner thighs. He levitated Wei Wuxian's hip and pulled his hole closer to the head of his cock. Wei Wuxian spreads his legs enough to widen his entrance. They didnt fuck for a few days and his hole is damn tight again. Lan Zhan's patience had gotten worse over the wait. He didn't care to loosen Wei Wuxian, pushing his precum smudged cock in Wei Wuxian’s hole. Wei Wuxian arched backwards with the impact of something so hot and big plunging in him. It's a familiar feeling yet he's never ready for it. He moans out wanton cries as if he wasn't the one eager to be fucked in the ass. 

“Husband, be gentle with this new bride of yours!” 

Lan Zhan gripped the flesh of his ass cheeks, pushing him, rocking him up and down, “You don't like… gentle.” 

“Blasphemous!” Wei Wuxian rebelled as his mind caught up with his body's overwhelming sensations. He leaned his hand behind on Lan Zhan's thighs, putting his weight on his knees and catching on the rhythm Lan Zhan was rocking him on. He moved up and down and rolled his hips on the cock and his own cock drips cum on Lan Zhan's stomach. 

As the rhythm gets to his liking, Wei Wuxian throws his head back in pleasure, biting his lips he smilingly declares, “mmmhhhgg You're too good! Your cock is just perfect in my ass. Why would we ever stop fucking. Ngh- Lan Zhan, let's never stop! We should keep fucking each other like this forever!” 

Lan Zhan lets out a throaty groan. Immediately Wei Wuxian feels hot liquid filling him up and dripping down his ass,  making a squelching sound as  he bounces on Lan Zhan's cock. 

“Did I make you cum just by spewing nonsense!?” Wei Wuxian triumphs leaning forward to see his lover's flustered face closely. The man indeed was abashed that he came so quickly just by Wei Wuxian’s lousy rhythm and non stop moans and chatters. Hearing Wei Wuxian triumph over his short coming, he flips their positions without a warning. 

“Hey- wait! We were doing good! Why are you- ah! Ah- slowly! Slowly! I'm not going anywhere!” 

Laid on his chest with his ass up lifted, Wei Wuxian had no way to escape from the embarrassed man's brutality. Their rhythm changed so suddenly that Wei Wuxian came at an instant. Lan Zhan’s libido was from a different planet. He didn't go soft by coming once, instead, it felt like he grew even harder just to make up for his previous loss. 

By acting triumphant, Wei Wuxian pricked Lan Zhan's competitive attitude. He knew this pounding wasn't going to be over that night. Everyone is going to know very well that they did it the whole night when limps out the Jingshi at dusk with his teared up ass hole. 

 

Lan Qiren will be yelling at him at the top of his lungs for not obeying the rules. The elders will look at him like he's grown three more horns on his head. His friends will make more embarrassing remarks on them. Wei Wuxian doesn't care what will happen next, for the moment, he enjoys making love with the love of his life. And if he ends up dreaming about meeting his lover in another world, in another time, he considers it a prophecy. For he knows it's a fate bound to be true.

 

 

Notes:

This is it! This is the end. I was so afraid that the ending might be underwhelming/ it might not meet your expectations. All the overthinkg exhausts me, so here goes the best I can come with, I tried mentioning everything in one chapte. As you can see the other ships aren't even mentioned much,... I'm too tired to write them. You can use your✨️ imagination ✨️ or just let it be. Hope you loved this fic,, because I loved this one so much. This one has been my escape from so many bad memories, I've gone through quiet a lot of failures (and a lesbian breakup) while writing this, it has a different place in my heart. And I almost abandoned this fic as it was getting too long, I wouldn't have made it here without the regular comments 😭 I really owe it to y'all ♡♡♡♡ huge thanks for coming this far♡