Eclipse

by Elle_Reed

Summary:

A first pov story of a normal dude who woke up and discovered he was suddenly a ten year old child with pink hair.

Caution: this story prioritizes relationships more than it does action. It’s a self discovery journey that, coincidentally, happens through Naruto-typical drama/violence. The primary motivation for each character portrayed is and will always be themselves/how they interact with others. Thank you :)

Chapter 1

I think I drowned. Or maybe I burned? It was something that encompassed my entire being— a feeling I couldn’t escape no matter how hard I struggled. In fact, struggling only made it worse. It was a horrible way to die. Even after I stopped being able to form thoughts, my pain receptors shot alarms to my body. 

Eventually it ended. It happened in the blink of an eye, or maybe it felt that way because my brain finally turned to mush after all that. One moment I was released from the pain and slid my eyes closed for the final time, and in the other I was staring at a bright blue sky with beautiful clouds. It was a good sight to open my eyes to. I took a deep breath, the fresh air rushing into my lungs. 

It was so wonderful. I could smell the grass and a distinctly sweet scent, most likely flowers, just as much as I could feel the dew of an early morning fog. The clouds were exceptionally photogenic. I half expected myself to be trapped in a postcard, perhaps not unlike that scene from Coraline. Instead, when I turned my head, I came across the sight of several old buildings. 

It looks like those tourist trap places in K-town , I noticed. 

That’s probably why my consciousness decided to take on this beautiful scenery. It never mattered how expensive those places were, they got me every time. They were really good, even if they were overpriced. 

I took another deep breath in and smiled. Yes, this was a nice place to be after such an awful death. 

“You’re in my spot,” some person said. 

How Sheldon of them , I mused. Maybe it was putting in my favorite shows to make me feel better? Sitcoms were always a guilty pleasure of mine. 

“Hey, are you listening?” 

I sat up and immediately noticed a huge problem. 

I’m wearing a dress. Weird choice, brain. 

I put the issue on pause and looked up to the kid that was bugging me. 

“Sorry, what was that?” I smiled, hoping it would creep him out. 

“You’re in my spot, Sakura. Move over.”

Sakura? My creepy smile slipped off my face. 

“Um… What did you call me?” 

The kid clicked his tongue. “I didn’t say anything bad, I just said your name. Sakura.” 

I narrowed my eyes. 

“Is this because you’re fighting with Ino? I know you guys declared yourself to be rivals in love or whatever, but this is a little ridiculous.” 

I choked on my saliva, rolling over to bow my head and shut my eyes.  

“Listen, whatever your name is, I have no idea who you think I am or what ridiculous declaration you think I made, but I…” I trailed off as I opened my eyes and caught sight of bright pink. “Oh my god.” 

I tentatively reached out to the long strands of hair and gave a tug. I winced and rubbed my scalp. That’s definitely attached to me. 

“Um, where are we?” I asked, trying to stay calm. 

“In the village?” The kid asked with concern. “Hey, stop playing around Sakura. It’s not funny.” 

I lifted my head up. “I’m not kidding. What’d you say your name is? Also, what village? I’m pretty sure I lived in a city.” 

“I’m going to find an adult. Don’t move, or better yet, come with me. We’re going to get in so much trouble if you’re faking.” 

The kid has weird hair. Also, does that mean that I’m a kid too? That’s weird, I think I remember being older. I also remember being a man, not a little girl with pink hair. Heaven is extremely weird. 

“Shikamaru, who’s your friend?” A woman with sensible brown hair asked with a smile. 

“Mom, this is Sakura Haruno. Sakura, my mom,” the kid said. Wait, is Shikamaru a name? How strange. 

“Hello,” I waved. 

“Mom, I think something’s up with Sakura. She’s acting really disoriented. She says she doesn’t know where she is.” Shikamaru said dubiously, still clearly mistrustful. 

“I really don’t. The last thing I remember was getting really dizzy and passing out. Then I woke up to a beautiful sky in a place I don’t know. I honestly thought I died,” I shrugged casually. “I didn’t even know your name until your mom said it.” 

Shikamaru’s mom frowned worriedly. 

“Come here, dear,” she said with an outstretched palm. 

I honestly thought she was just going to check my temp, see if maybe I had a fever. Instead her hand touched my forehead and glowed green. 

“Okay, what the hell lady?!” I shouted in alarm, quickly stepping back. 

“Sakura, it’s just a basic diagnosis jutsu,” she said placatingly. 

“Jutsu? What in the world is that?” What sort of crazy land did I get myself into?

“Oh dear. Let’s get you to the hospital, yes?” 

I had little choice but to follow. I took in the buildings and streets as we passed by them. The same aesthetic was nearly everywhere. The apartment buildings that looked like the ones I knew were new and advertised as such, as if they were the novelty and the traditional buildings were the norm. Oh hell, I got myself stuck in the past, didn’t I? Some east-Asian country that spoke English as its primary language… I think that would only be the Philippines and India. Neither of them look like this. Where the fuck am I?

I had a mental freak out the entire way to the hospital. I knew reincarnation was a possibility, the concept existed for a freakin reason, but were you supposed to remember? Suddenly dismissing all those people who claimed to remember their past lives was biting me in the ass. Dammit all to hell. Shikamaru’s mom, whatever her name is, was explaining my whole situation to the nurse at the front desk. If I weren’t so busy tripping the fuck out, I might have spent my time marveling at how pretty she was. 

“Come with me, we’ll do a proper check up.”

I can say with full certainty that I have no clue what they did to me, but they seem to have found an answer. 

“So we compared your chakra reservoirs and compared them to the ones from your physical earlier this year,” the doctor started, pulling out a sheet of paper from their clipboard. “You had an over abundance of yang chakra that seemed to circle only your brain and wouldn’t join your normal reserves. Now that we checked your chakra again, we can determine that it integrated into your system in a very short amount of time, which affected your memory. We’re not sure if the gaps will fill out with time or if this is permanent, but it doesn’t seem to have caused any damage to the tissue or nerves in your brain.”

They explained all of this three different times. Once to me, once to Shikamaru’s mom, and once again to my parents when they were eventually informed that their daughter was admitted into the hospital. That last one really seems like it should have been step one to this whole spectacle. 

“We’d like to run a few more scans, just to make sure you’re physically okay. Is that alright?” 

They gave me the final say in my own care, which was weird because I’m pretty sure the kid in this body is like ten. I gave consent anyway, since my parents weren’t speaking up. The hospital visit was like an hour long, which isn’t bad. Once I spent three hours in the waiting room and another hour to actually get through the stupid checkup. 

“Alright, alright,” I sighed, craning my neck back. “Are we done here? Anything I got to sign before I can blow this popsicle stand?” 

“Sakura,” this girl’s mother gasped. “I did not raise you to be this… this uncouth!” 

Uncouth? Is she serious? 

“Just remember that your daughter will be going through a lot of changes now that her chakra has assimilated. Try to have some patience, ma’am.” 

Yeah, whatever. It’s me that’s in a whole new fucking plane of existence. I shifted my attention to said mother. Her blonde hair was perfectly styled back, not a single hair out of place. 

“Hey, what year is it?” I asked the medic. 

“Year ten under the reinstatement of the third’s regime,” he replied seamlessly. 

What the fuck? Okay… not going to question it. 

Well, whatever year it was, this kid’s mom was straight out of a 60s infomercial, floral dress and kitten pumps exactly to its style. 

“Right. Well, I’m ready to go home,” I sighed, cracking my shoulders and neck. 

Hopefully being in an actual house would help me figure out what the fuck was going on. The hospital people really should have kept me overnight or something, but hey, their incompetence is not my problem. I should probably also address the glaring issue in my situation. 

At some point there was a perfectly normal little girl just existing innocently. Now there isn’t. Now, there’s me. I should probably feel a lot worse about it than I do. Maybe I’m in shock. The walk back to what I assume is our home was silent, but that suited me just fine. 

I wondered what happened to the kid. As I looked around I got a sense of almost nostalgia and figured part of her must still be in this body. It didn’t really make sense and it made me wonder if she was somehow still alive. I was under the assumption that only one soul could inhabit one vessel at a time, but hey, what the hell do I know? Clearly nothing about multidimensional travel. 

The house the kid’s parents stopped at was a two story white building with a beautiful porch and flowers so pristine they’d make my ma weep in jealousy. Clearly it wasn’t just Mrs. Haruno that stepped out of a 60s magazine. Mr. Haruno had more of a 70s vibe to him. Either way, it was obvious that Mrs. Haruno took great care of the house. I almost snorted as we entered the house, taking in the flower wallpaper with a wry smile. 

It was weird to see such a mesh of cultures. Western and eastern clashed and blended together in strange ways that worked really well. It wasn’t as much of a slap in the face as I thought it’d be. No one in the house seemed quite interested in talking about what happened to me. Ah, the first sign of a toxic household. 

“I’ll get started on lunch,” Mrs. Haruno excused herself. 

“Let me know if you need anything, alright bug?” Mr. Haruno said quietly. “I’ll be out in the garden.” 

Oh, maybe he was the gardener? I looked as he stepped out into the back yard. Ah, vegetable garden. Well, whatever. I shrugged and went upstairs, not quite interested in hanging around two traditionalist strangers. The kid’s door was helpfully labeled ‘Sakura’ in pink paint and surrounded by green flower stickers. Cute.

I pushed open the door and took a deep breath. 

“Holy shit.”

The room was overwhelmingly feminine. The walls were cream colored with pink borders and the curtains were silky white with pink ruffles. Her bed was a white queen with a metal frame and pink pillows. The room was mainly white and pink with splashes of green and yellow. 

It wasn’t bad, it was just… Showmanship. Like a set on a tv show. This is where some artsy girl named Deedee screamed into her pillow about a cute new transfer student, not where someone actually lived. There was a journal on top of her desk/vanity very obviously labeled ‘diary’.

No fucking way. 

Okay, I clearly need to search the place through. I know a decoy when I see one. Just in case though. I paused. Was it fucked up to read a child’s diary? Eh, fuck it. Not like she can do anything about it now. 

The writing was surprisingly beautiful, more calligraphy than script. The diary was whimsical and neat. It had to be fake. Sure, she’s a kid, but the whole point of a diary is to vent. This isn’t venting. Or maybe I just didn’t have a healthy idea of a diary. Still, I’m a paranoid bastard and this room was mine to claim. The first thing I did was check under the mattress. 

“Bingo. Honestly, the lack of creativity,” I muttered, pulling out a leather bound notebook from under the top left corner of the mattress. 

Immediately the diary was much different than the prop she’d left on her desk. It was actual writing with real thoughts and opinions. Some parts were darker where she’d obviously been mad and some parts were surrounded with little scribbled hearts. I locked the door and grabbed the other diary before settling down on the bed. 

This was step one on gaining insight on this weird life. Next was probably figuring out what chakra could possibly be. If I was lucky, these books would hold the answer to both. I glanced around the room and blinked, suddenly noticing something that really should have jumped out at me from the moment I walked into the room. 

The kid had four full sized bookshelves in the room. They were all fully stocked. I grinned. Look at that, I don’t even have to find a library. What a fortunate time to be inhabiting the body of a huge nerd. Oh, what a day this was going to be. 

Chapter 2: Chapter Two

Summary:

In the academy

Six hours and two scoldings from mother Haruno later, I could confidently say that this world is entirely fucked. The kid I happened to overtake? She’s training to be a fucking ninja. How insane is that?! An honest to god ninja. Not only that, but apparently everyone here had some avatar level abilities. She wrote a whole entry on what her chakra affinity could possibly be. Apparently fire was the most common because this was, un-creatively named, the Land of Fire. 

Except my body bag was a first generation Land of Fire resident and her parents were immigrants from a tourist town called Spring Villa. She speculated between water and earth affinities, which alright, were a little intriguing, but mainly concerning. 

The worst part of absorbing all this information was the backlash I got. It was like this kid’s memories were melting into my own. Half of the time I found myself thinking ‘oh yeah’ when I was reading entirely new information. It’s obvious that the kid was a bit of a nerd thanks to the hundreds of books in her room, but experiencing it first hand was a fucking trip. I got excited over pressed flowers for no fucking reason before the kid’s extensive knowledge on them slammed into my brain and gave me a migraine. 

The kid was fucking smart, that was one certainty. I could question just about anything and an encyclopedia of knowledge that I never learned would insert itself into my thoughts. It was a little scary and super impressive. As impressive as the little super genius was, she was still subject to hormones and right in the thick of the worst parts of puberty. 

I saw a grouchy little brat at the market and thought, ‘wow, that’s a rude kid’, before Sakura’s feelings of affection rose to the surface of my existence. ‘Sasuke Uchiha’ my mind provided, and dammit it sounded dreamy. It was the worst thing ever. I objectively knew that this skinny bastard was an annoying kid that I instantly disliked, but Sakura’s crush on him was so huge that I still got a little flustered around the damn menace. 

I really should have expected this, given that both journals had a substantial amount of shit written in them about the kid, but I really didn’t think it would be this bad. At least I was getting used to it, enough to actually be able to ignore the brat. It was disgusting to feel that way, especially towards a child. I’d never been with anyone in my past life, but that was because I never felt the urge to be. 

I’d never fallen in love or lust, and that was just fine by me. Now something I couldn’t control was making me rethink everything I was sure about in the past. I never wanted children in my last life. Sakura’s journals are full of future fantasies of being married to Uchiha and having four or five kids to raise while still being a ‘super kick butt kunoichi’. It was a little nauseating when I remembered that I was her now. 

I started going to school the following Monday. Shikamaru had, evidently, spilled the beans on my state of being. I didn’t particularly care, I was intent on ignoring everyone in the room but the instructor. I was getting better at ignoring Sakura’s lingering feelings, too. I caught sight of a blond girl that I recognized from Sakura’s private diary (I found out that Mebuki, Haruno’s mom, read the other one) as her ‘rival in love’ , Ino Yamanaka. 

Sakura’s instincts felt the need to compete with her, but I swatted it away. She was a child, I am an adult. There’s no way in hell I’d stoop down to a level that low. Catching sight of Sasuke didn’t make me pause anymore. There were still some involuntary feelings around, but they were getting easier to ignore by the day. The unfortunate side effect is that I was really starting to hate the brat, and by extension, all the other brats that made up the rest of the class. 

Children. They were fine when I was one too, but god fucking damn did I miss slamming drinks back at the bar with my buddies. I liked kids to an extent. I liked being the fun uncle that took em on their first hike and got them the stupid toy their parents saw no point in buying. I didn’t like having to be around them 24/7 with no fucking break. 

I tucked my hair back and tried not to feel awful about that too. I’d have to look into it in this world. Did they give testosterone shots here? I was entirely not looking forward to going through extreme puberty. I’d definitely be getting my uterus out as soon as it’s allowed. 

Well, assuming what’s left of Sakura in me fizzles out. It’s kind of fucked, but I also sort of see it as being a twin that absorbed the other in the womb. Only it wasn’t a womb and I’m ninety percent convinced the original Sakura died and I replaced her. I’d give it some time before I altered her body in life changing ways, at least. I’d say I’ll give it about five years. Fifteen is a good age to get this stuff done and five years is a long time for someone to not snap back to their old body. 

Still, it was an unsettling itch to exist as I was. I could hardly look at myself in the mirror and I never looked down when I showered. It was exhausting, but the alternatives left me feeling disgusting. I think I’m going to cut her hair. Its weight makes my breath speed up and the constant pressure on my scalp when I tie it back makes me want to throw up. It’s a stupid insecurity that I never had before. 

I remember having longer hair, back then, but it was different. Maybe it was the beard and deeper voice that universally made people assume I was a man. Every time I touched my face, I physically recoiled. I have no clue if I’ll last five years before changing something. I’ve been here for a few days and it’s already an unbearable pester. 

“Today we’ll begin chapter sixteen in your history textbooks,” the teacher said from up front in the class. 

I swallowed and tried to stay on top of the lesson. If I drowned myself in work, I didn’t have to think about myself. My mind went into autopilot as the lesson went on. I remember answering some questions, and I must have been right because no correction came, but I can’t remember what they were about. Eventually lunch break rolled around. I remembered the bento box the kid’s mom had packed me and grimaced. 

It definitely wouldn’t be enough to get me through until dinner. It was too many grains and fruit and not enough protein or vegetables. It wouldn’t be filling. Still, I took it out from my desk and wondered where the hell I was supposed to go to each lunch. 

“Forehead,” the girl I recognized as Ino said with a stern glare. 

Sakura’s lingering anger rushed to match my rising annoyance. 

“Ino,” I said flatly. “What do you want?” 

“Is it true?” She asked, narrowed eyes roaming over me. 

“Which part?” I clenched my jaw, reminding myself that Ino was a child and Sakura’s feelings about her shouldn’t affect me. 

“Did you really forget everything?” 

“Obviously not, pig.” I mentally cursed myself for letting the mean nickname slip. I took a deep breath. “Look, if you don’t have anything useful to say, then get out of my way. I’m not interested in talking to you.” 

That went for everyone. I hoped I wouldn’t have to reiterate the assertion to anyone else. I slid out of my chair and ignored her stunned expression. I had an hour of lunch, which was much more than I needed. I followed Sakura’s memories to the school’s library and ignored the whispering that came from the students still within the class. Gossip, I almost had the pleasure of forgetting it. 

Hopefully I haven’t invoked the wrath of the Yamanaka, and subsequently their allies, but Ino doesn’t seem the type to purposely freeze me out just for hurting her feelings, so I wasn’t too worried about it. I had enough background knowledge of the world to not feel especially worried about my existence, but I was still missing a good chunk of information. Especially on more niche subjects. 

I’d like to read more about genjutsu, chakra control, medical jutsu, and the weapons available to me. The innovations in a shinobi (which is the technical term for a ninja) village seem to be somewhat behind those of a civilian town, but it was a negligible amount in the grand scheme of things. I pushed open the library doors and followed Sakura’s memories of their places. I picked out a book on chakra control and found a desk in the back of the library. 

The rest of my lunch was mercifully silent. A lot of the chakra control stuff flooded into my brain once I started reading it, so I was able to get through it in twenty minutes and start on a book about genjutsu. The kid knew the basics and most of the intermediate knowledge, but her knowledge gapped on the more advanced stuff. It was the first thing I’d have to revisit when I had the time. 

I went back to class and easily ignored the obvious stares coming my way. Most of them went away when Sasuke Uchiha walked into the class. He sparked up hushed whispers from the class, ones that were almost exact quotes out of Sakura’s diary. I sighed internally. This kind of shit would be cute if I wasn’t right in the thick of it. I wasn’t mad at the kids, not really, but I was beyond frustrated at my situation and that leaked out onto them. 

I’d feel worse if I had any capability for sympathy beyond my self pity. The rest of the class shifted from concrete information to theoretical material. Sakura’s sponge of a brain had no problem keeping up. It was strange, because Sakura’s brain absorbed everything with rose-tinted glasses while my adult brain took the processed information and filtered it further with another view point. A good portion of the class was subtle propaganda, which, fair enough I guess. 

It worked for Hitler until everyone else finally got their shit together, anyway. I doubt anyone was going to stop this kind of teaching, though. In fact, I’m sure the other villages do the same to their future soldiers. It was all sorts of fucked, but I’m here already so I might as fucking well continue. Being a mercenary seemed kinda cool anyway.

I think most people would probably have a deep moral crisis at the idea of killing someone else, but the thing is, the people who have hits on them are usually awful. If I ever have to kill another soldier, sorry, shinobi, for whatever reason, I don’t think I’d feel that bad about it either. They knew what they signed up for when they chose this job. Probably. 

I looked around at the kids in the room. Okay, I won’t care as long as they’re not baby-faced children. I could swallow killing an adult, but killing a child seems… I tried not to think about it. Well, besides cradle killing, I’m pretty sure I could handle beating up some adults. Gotta take out my quickly gathering rage on someone. 

I wrote down notes on Iruka’s (I just learned his name) lesson and marveled at the way the kid’s brain worked. It was like a bookshelf of knowledge. Her systems were organized and methodical, and that really showed with how she usually sorted through the information given to her. Again, this kid is damn impressive. I could think of a few adults who’d struggle to keep up with her. 

Class ticked by a lot faster than I thought it would. Maybe my fascination with Sakura's capabilities helped speed it along. I went straight back home after school, withstood another two scoldings from Mebuki, read another few books, ate a smaller than average portion of dinner, got scolded again, then went back to reading. It’s not like I had a whole lot of options available to me. 

I made a mental list of everything I had to do before I graduated boot camp- sorry, the academy, and became a full fledged soldier. 

Get this chakra control thing down, learn what my elemental chakra type is, learn more about genjutsu, start physical training, learn more about this healing jutsu crap, find a weapon I could reasonably use, and find out how soon I can move out of this god awful house. 

It was a long list. 

I looked around the kid’s room and found my first objective; a book titled ‘twenty three field-ready tactics for mild healing’. I cracked my neck and readied myself for another long night. 

Chapter 3: Chapter Three

Summary:

Two year time skip

Notes:

I've got no clue how the economy is in Naruto, so rent is like 100 dollars a month in this world :')

I tapped my fingers impatiently on the desk. I had disliked my classmates at first, but by now I was adept enough at deflecting and ignoring them that it was down to very low annoyment for most of them. Some of them, mainly the quiet ones, held my indifference and a very select few even held my mild acceptance. For example, I could confidently say that I liked Choji Akimichi. He was a good kid and kept to himself more often than not. He even offered me snacks from time to time. He was probably my favorite kid in the class. 

Least favorite wise…. My eyes unconsciously drifted to Naruto who, for once in his life, was too nervous to speak. He was a good kid, but being good didn’t stop him from being annoying. I tried not to interact with him at all, which was difficult when the kid had some sort of crush on Sakura. When he did come up to me, I still did my best to at the very least be polite. The kid had a miserable enough life without me adding to it. 

This exam probably wasn’t helping either. Even though he kind of bothered me, I still hoped he passed. His hopes had been crushed one too many times. 

“The written portion of the exam will begin shortly,” Mizuki, the class’s teacher assistant, announced politely. I rolled my eyes subtly, a frown automatically crossing my face. “You have five minutes to do a final review of your notes.” 

He was such a creepy adult. He paid attention to kids way too closely for it to be appropriate, especially Naruto, though he seemed to hate the kid. I hope he got stung by a wasp. Retribution in small ways. Maybe karma will get him in one go. Who knows, really. I shuffled through the flash cards I made two weeks prior and went over the information silently. I was confident I’d pass this exam. 

By now, most of Sakura’s feelings had drained out of me. There was very little she could provide now that I was familiar with the world around me. I was just glad that her incredible ability to learn any topic she’s given has stuck with me. As I ran through the information, my confidence only rose. I’d maintained the position of the top students academically all year and was the highest ‘female’ ranking in the physical department, number three overall. Sakura is surprisingly sturdy, so it was only a matter of working towards improvement.

I was proud of what I’d managed to do. Mizuki called time and began to pass out a three page test, ignoring or smirking at some of the student’s groans. I rolled my eyes again. What a douche. He clearly had favorites and least favorites. Speaking of… I stared at him coldly while he placed the test face-down on my desk. His blank expression twitched down slightly before an annoyed light flashed through his eyes. 

Score, I made him react to a child. That’s twenty two to his thirteen. What a loser. I leaned on my hand and hid a smirk behind it as I watched his mood visibly sour. Who knows why he let a child get to him so deeply, but hey, it’s not my problem. I waited for the idiot to finish passing out the tests and for Iruka to start the exam. I’m not going to sugar coat it, but this portion of the exam would be a major cake walk for me. 

I’m only bitter that I haven’t been able to catch up physically to the top two students in our sparring sessions. Kiba Inuzuku ranked number two and Sasuke ranked in at number one. It was annoying, especially because they both leaned towards sexist comments to fuck with me. It was god damn annoying. 

“You have an hour and a half to complete the exam. You may begin.”

I couldn’t tell which one of them said it, Iruka or Mizuki, but it didn’t really matter. I flipped the test over and wrote my name. The bad thing about having so much knowledge and certainty in what you know is that there’s nothing stopping you from going into autopilot and thinking about other stuff. Two years in a life that isn’t yours is a long time. 

At the beginning, I was consumed with learning as much as I could, so I did. And then I had to face the fact that, at some point, all this knowledge would have to be put to use. I knew some gruesome shit, but this world made it seem so much more sinister. The foreknowledge of violence I had came with the understanding that I’d never do it or be subjected to it. In this world, it’s an inevitability. 

My pencil scratched at the paper, but the sound processed like static in my ears. Pass or fail. Become a killer now or later, or maybe drop out all together and learn a civilian trade. It would certainly fulfill Mother Haruno’s expectations. The thought of the blond woman made me scowl. She was, to put it lightly, a female dog. She didn’t speak to me unless it was to criticize whatever I was doing or berate me for not wearing what she wanted me to. 

She’s a pain in the ass and the reason I’m working on a nest egg. It’s not much, just the money from whatever odd jobs I can get from around the neighborhood. I’m hoping that in a year I’ll have enough for a deposit to buy an apartment. I looked into it and shinobi kids are granted the privilege of independent living from the time they earn their headband, the status symbol given to a ninja. 

I scratched down some more answers and wondered just how soon I’d be able to leave. Sakura’s father, for the most part, was a bubbly person with excellent people skills. He just didn’t know how to raise or treat a kid. He constantly seemed to be at a loss around me. Well, at least he gave me a secret allowance. It was definitely helpful and most likely the reason Sakura had so many books. 

I sighed and kept working on the exam, mindlessly counting down until the next portion of the graduation test would come. I glanced over at Shikamaru and tried not to feel jealous. He was sleeping over an already-completed exam, or at least half completed. He tended to do just enough to get a 65-70 on exams before knocking out for the rest of the period. If I didn’t have a position to maintain, I’d follow his lead. 

For the rest of the period I struggled to keep my mind on the task of hand, but ultimately was able to. I completed the test and spent the rest of my time checking over my answers. 

“Time,” Iruka-sensei eventually called. I sighed in relief and turned my exam in at the front desk. 

“We handled the physical portion of the exam yesterday. You may eat lunch now. Afterwards we’ll begin the jutsu portion of the exam. Good luck everyone!” 

We weren’t allowed to leave the room, so I dug into my lunch quickly. It was grilled fish on top of a leafy salad. The portion was a bit bigger than usual, as I’d convinced Mrs. Haruno that these foods were a lot lower in calories than her usual chicken and rice with sliced fruit. I had also snuck a bag of chips that I’d taken from the pantry ages ago. It was annoying that I had to hide food in my room, but it was worth it. I’d finally stopped feeling dizzy at the slightest movement. 

Maybe it was because I was drinking a lot more water too. Mrs. Haruno’s in a phase where she thinks that losing water weight is a lot more effective than exercising. She drinks a lot of tea. I shook my head and kept eating, mentally reviewing the upcoming jutsu. Transformation, clone, and transportation. The last one was infinitly more useful than the other two to me. It was a quick escape in the face of potential death. 

I struggled the most with the clone jutsu, but after reading a few different books about it, I was able to get it down. I’m confident that I’ll do well in this portion of the exam. Supposedly I’d only have to demonstrate proficiency in one of these three jutsu, the clone one specifically, but being great at all three was still ideal. I’d have to expand my jutsu arsenal very quickly as well. The library in the academy only covered jutsu theory and E to C ranked jutsus, but you had to have in-person permission from a teacher to access them. 

It was too much of a hassle for it to be worth it to me. Mizuki started calling kids to the exam room, at which point they’d be free to leave the academy. I closed my bento and drank some water, imagining the swell of my chakra in response to the hand sign needed to perform the clone jutsu. The hardest part for me was always casting the jutsu outside of my own system. It just didn’t make sense, not until I realized it was a subcategory of an illusion. 

It had the theory of a genjutsu behind it and the standing of a physical technique. It was an interesting skill to acquire, at least. I huffed and leaned on my palm, absentmindedly tapping my fingers against the desk. I needed a goddamn hobby. I’ve read more in Sakura’s body than I ever did in my entire life. It was the only source of entertainment I could find since I decided to reject all the children in this dumb ass class and it was starting to wear me thin. 

Just a little. 

I glanced over the scared faces of everyone in the class and scrunched my nose. Yeah, no. Being restless is better than talking about magazines and how cool they’d be as ninja. It’s a damn shame that there’s no consoles around. I wouldn’t be having this issue if I had access to video games. Books were fine from time to time, but god damn did I get tired from it. Having to use critical thinking skills… getting paper cuts when you least expect it… having to annotate everything you read. It was a pain. 

Maybe I’d take up painting, just to have a change of pace. If I didn’t do something other than read and work out, I might go insane. 

“Haruno Sakura,” Mizuki drawled from the front of the class, a fake smile plastered on his face. 

I snorted lightly. Everyone knew there was some hostile energy between us. That smile was so obviously his customer service face. Still, I picked up my things and followed him out of the class and into the empty room beside it. There were a few headbands missing already, which was oddly relieving. If the rest of my class could graduate, I wouldn’t have a problem at all. 

“Alright Sakura. All you have to do is proficiently show that you can create three clones of yourself,” Iruka said warmly. He was a nice dude, exactly the kind of teacher any parent would pray their kid got. 

I nodded and gently led my chakra through my body. I don’t think it was normal to be able to do such a thing, but I’d always chalked it up to feeling as if it was a foreign object. I couldn’t sense chakra or anything, but it was exceptionally easy to manipulate once I figured out how to. Honestly, thank god for that. Being able to have such a fine control over it was super important because the kid didn’t have much of it. I had to make every bit count. 

I brought my hands up into the ram sign (and don’t ask how those things work cuz I’ve got no fuckin’ clue) and concentrated on making clones of myself. Three puffs of smoke later, I was given permission to grab a headband and congratulated on becoming a shinobi of the village. It honestly felt very underwhelming and stupid, but hey, who am I to judge? I thanked Iruka, ignored Mizuki, tied the headband around my neck, and got the hell out of the academy. I ended up stashing my stuff in my front garden and doing some extra jobs before I had to get home for dinner. 

I had about… Well, enough for a month’s or two’s rent including utilities and groceries saved up, but it still didn’t feel safe. I wanted to make sure I didn’t have to struggle to keep up with anything.. It was mainly chores and helping people move stuff, but it paid well enough for me so I took whatever I could get. I had de-weeded three gardens by the time I decided to call it quits and head home. 

I washed off the dirt and wiped the sweat off of myself as best as I could before entering the house. I was expecting to find it empty like usual, but my parents were seated at the dining table with upset expressions. Their hushed conversation stopped when they heard me close the door. Father Haruno sent a grimace at me while Mother Haruno schooled her expression and stared coldly at the band around my neck. 

“Sakura, now that you’ve become… a shinobi ,” she scrunched her nose in distaste. “It’s time you start earning your keep around here. Starting next month, we’ll be asking you to pay rent. We expect to receive 15000 yen, as that's the market price now.” 

Hizashi’s face soured a little, but he didn’t do anything other than look away. My mind short-circuited. 15000 yen is the market price, but for a one bedroom apartment. Not a one bedroom period. 

“Right,” I nodded, carefully keeping my face blank. “Excuse me.” 

I rushed upstairs. I need to figure out how much money I have and I need to find an apartment to rent. I have a few weeks at least, but figuring out a way to move all my things is going to be annoying as all hell. I’ll have to do it at night, but where would I pack everything? I need cardboard boxes. I slid into my room and locked the door behind me, something that always annoyed Mebuki. 

I grabbed the pillow on my bed and cut off its stitching, reaching my hand inside to get the wallet I’d stashed in it. It was annoying to restitch it, but I’m way too paranoid to hide it anywhere else. I flipped through the bills anxiously and counted them as quickly as I could. I counted the coins next and added the numbers in my mind. I blew a harsh breath out and narrowed my eyes. 

I had just about 40000 yen which would cover two months of rent and utilities, but most likely not food and clothing. I had to hope that the d-ranks genin were assigned would be enough to cover that base. Thankfully you were paid by mission and not by week or something. I definitely had to save a lot of whatever I got from these starting missions, and I’d have to see if I’m allowed to take d-ranks on my own. 

I opened my window, one that faced out to the side, and sewed the wallet back into the pillow. I brought chakra to my hands and focused on the theories I’d read of the tree-climbing technique. It couldn’t be that hard, you were practically just becoming a tree lizard. I carefully lifted myself over the window sill and put my feet against the wall. I lowered one hand first and felt my chakra tighten and grip onto the wall like velcro. After a few seconds I was confident enough to lower my second hand and climb out. 

I go into town and start looking for advertisements about open apartments. I find a few and don’t head home until dark. Climbing back into the house is a different process than getting out of it, but I figure it out just as quickly. When I’m inside my room, I notice it’s surprisingly undisturbed. I sigh and throw myself onto my bed, tightly clutching the notices I had found around town. 

The ones in the heart of the village were about ten thousand yen more expensive than the ones in the outer part of midtown, as was to be expected. I glanced at the notices from the opposite side of the spectrum, the apartments going for five thousand yen cheaper than the rest. Those were close to the red light districts. Even though the price was tempting, you often get what you pay for in those areas of town. Not to mention the added chance of getting robbed, stabbed, or assaulted. 

I held a strand of Sakura’s hair in distaste. I was in more danger than most since I presented myself as a girl, but usually shinobi were left alone, right? Still, Sakura was thin and although I could pack a punch, it really didn’t look that way. It would be safer to get an apartment somewhere between these two areas. That left me with two options. An apartment slightly closer to the Hospital or an apartment slightly closer to the Hokage tower. The first apartment was being rented at 15000 yen while the second one was being rented at 14000 yen. They were in okay areas. 

I ran a hand down my face. I needed to save all the money I could. I sighed and prepared myself to fill in the rental application that had been included with the advertisement. Hopefully I wouldn’t have to compete with many possible renters. At least I could pay cash, that was usually something people looked at, right? All this and I still had to meet my potential teacher tomorrow. I twisted Sakura’s hair up into a bun and settled in for a long night. 

Chapter 4: Chapter Four

Summary:

They meet Kakashi

I stifled a yawn as I walked to the academy, light circles evident under my eyes. I was going to sleep at an okay time, eleven pm, but then the village sirens started shrieking and woke me up. Apparently someone stole something from the Kage vault, but even that came from a sketchy source. I didn’t go back to sleep until three in the morning. I hoped that whatever our sensei decided to do today wouldn’t be all that hard. Ha, fat chance. Knowing my luck, they’d be some training freak and make us start conditioning the first day. 

I rubbed my eyes before sliding open the classroom door. I still got stares, but nowhere near as much as that day two years ago. Mostly it was Ino staring at me until Shikamaru pulled her away, or some of the quieter boys and Naruto who obviously had a thing for Sakura. It would have been cute if I wasn’t currently inhabiting the aforementioned girl’s body. Instead it’s just awkward and uncomfortable. 

I went over to my desk, the edge seat towards the walkway at the left-most part of the class, and settled in for an early-morning nap. I woke up to rancorous laughter and lifted my head, scowling around to find the source of the disruption. My eyes landed on Sasuke and Naruto (of course, always the center of attention) who were in the middle of, what appeared to be, an unplanned kiss. 

I scoffed and dropped my head onto an open palm. “Idiots.” I muttered as they dramatically spat and choked in opposite directions of each other. 

“Settle down everyone!” Iruka called as he slid the door to the class open. I raised a brow at the distinct lack of Mizuki and eyed Iruka’s purple eyebags suspiciously. I had two theories and only one of them was pleasant. I didn’t dare dwell on the other. 

“Pay attention as I call out your team and jonin sensei’s names! I won’t be repeating myself.” 

For once, he actually looked like he meant it. 

He called out the names of students I only knew in passing for a long time. Some sensei’s appeared as their team was called while others showed up a few minutes later. I tapped my fingers against the desk, simply waiting for my name to be called. 

“Team seven; Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, U-“ Iruka was interrupted by Naruto furiously cheering. My eye twitched involuntarily. This would be… a very long career. Genin teams were often lifelong commitments in Konoha. 

“Quiet down, Naruto!” Iruka scolded the boy. “Uchiha Sasuke!” 

Sasuke looked away, seemingly in disinterest but clearly displeased. Naruto got straight to complaining, of course. I felt a little bad for him as Iruka put him on blast and exposed just how close to failing the exam he’d been, but at least it got him to shut up. Not that it helped much against the displeasure of Sasuke’s fangirls. Ino was definitely the loudest of them all, raging about how I got to be on his team when I didn’t even like him. I rolled my eyes. 

“Team eight; Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuga Hinata, and Aburame Shino!” He shouted against the noise, clearly about to burst a blood vessel. Too bad he couldn’t pass out detentions like candy. 

“Team ten!” The noise had mercifully been lulled again. “Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Choji, and Yamanaka Ino.”

Well, there goes the few seconds of peace the classroom had. Ino blew a fuse the second she heard her name, her face twisting into a scowl. 

“I can’t believe I’m stuck with you two!” At least she wasn’t directing her rage at Iruka. 

Her yelling lowered to match Shikamaru’s lazy remarks back, easily becoming background noise for Iruka to finish reading the team assignments. Choji ate a bag of sriracha-lime chips while watching them bicker. I frowned in jealousy. I want that life. 

“Okay! For those of you who haven’t been called by your sensei, you’re free to go to lunch. They’ll be here after the hour long period. I’ll see you all soon!” He dismissed about half a classroom full of children. 

I gripped the bag slung over my shoulder before deciding whether or not to take the bento out now. I shrugged and ate as I left, determined to find more work during the break. 

“Sakura!” Naruto cried from behind me. I paused my walking and slowed my chewing, lifting my head up to the kid. We were going to be stuck with each other for the foreseeable future, right? I might as well start playing nice. 

“You’re already eating lunch?” He asked in confusion. 

I nodded, shoving another snap pea into my mouth. 

“Um, why?” 

I swallowed my food. “I have some work to do.” 

“Oh! Like training?” He asked excitedly. 

“Not really. I’m trying to save up some money, so I take up odd jobs whenever I can. Anyways, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you after the break, okay?” I waved hurriedly and scurried off, lifting some rice to my lips. 

Thankfully, Naruto didn’t follow. I'm pretty sure he ran down the hall of the academy, actually. Maybe he needed to go to the bathroom. I power walked through the village and ignored the looks I got for eating a bento on the move. If I took on some lighter jobs, I could probably knock out three in an hour. I’d just have to see what comes my way. 

I finished eating and tucked the bento back into my bag before I got to the civilian district. 

“Ah, Sakura!” One of the older carpenters in the community sighed in relief. “Perfect timing. I need some help moving these boxes down to the shop.” 

I smiled at her and hurried to walk to her. “Sure thing, obaasan. Just tell me where they need to go.” 

Once people saw me helping obaasan, it was an open market from then. More people than I could help ended up coming up to me, so I had to explain my time crunch. Some were willing to pay more for priority, so it definitely worked out in my favor. I was on my fifth job before I remembered that I had to leave for the academy. 

“Oh my god,” I whispered furiously as I washed dishes just as vigorously. I stayed long enough to thank the woman who paid me and ran off in a sprint towards the building. I stuffed the cash into the bag and clutched it close to my chest as I hurried along, hoping to all heaven that I wasn’t late. 

My lungs were on fire by the time I made it to the academy. I think I ran at top speed for a solid fifteen minutes. I gasped and leaned against the wall outside the academy, trying not to feel hopeless. I lifted my hair off my neck and tied it into a bun in hopes of cooling off a bit faster. I was grossly sweaty, but I wasn’t heavy-breathing anymore so I walked back to class. Iruka lifted a brow at me from his desk as I walked back to my desk, but didn’t comment on my absence. I took the water bottle out of my bag and tried not to accidentally water-board myself. 

I looked around the class and heaved a sigh of relief at the sight of Naruto and Sasuke. There were about nine of us in the class, which meant that we’d probably be introduced to our genin sensei soon. I wondered if they were going in order or something. Maybe by last name? Well, it didn’t matter much. Half an hour later, I was starting to get impatient. The other two teams had been picked up already. 

I frowned and took a book out from my bag to kill the time. It was easy getting absorbed into the book, one about foraging in the land of fire, and I almost didn’t notice when Naruto stuck a chalkboard eraser through a crack in the sliding door. I sighed and put a bookmark to keep my place before turning to look at the trap with disdain. 

Sasuke scoffed and said exactly what I was thinking. “As if that sort of thing would work. Our teacher’s a jonin.” 

Naruto bristled at the comment, hastily pulling the chair he stood on back behind Iruka’s desk. Huh. I didn’t even notice when Iruka left. 

“Yeah? Well it serves him right for being so late! Right Sakura?!” 

I shrugged and crossed my arms. “Deserved or not, this is our future teacher and they can easily make your life a living hell for pissing them off. Not to mention they’ll probably be mad at all of us, even if Sasuke and I didn’t actually do anything.” 

Naruto wilted a little bit, seemingly considering my words. “Maybe I should-“ 

Whatever he was considering was too late. A hand slid open the door and the eraser fell on top of silver hair. We stared at each other unblinkingly for a few seconds. What a strange man. I wouldn’t be surprised if he made his fair share of children cry at the sight of his mainly-hidden face. 

“Hmm… my first opinion of you all,” he seemed to really be considering it. “I hate you.” 

I simply raised a brow and stared at the man; unimpressed. Even if he’s supposed to be more of a sergeant instead of a teacher, you don’t talk to 11 and 12 year olds like that. Especially if you want them to follow your orders and respect your authority. 

“Meet me on the roof. You have five minutes.” Then, he disappeared in a puff of smoke. 

“What an asshole.”

Though the two boys in the room didn’t say anything, they looked like they agreed. I sighed and stretched before considering my options. 

“Do you guys just want to go up the wall?” I asked, opening a window. 

“What.” Sasuke simply commented, looking at me doubtfully. 

“Yeah. Chakra walking? Have you guys learned how yet?” 

“What’s catra?” Naruto asked, tilting his head. 

Seriously? 

“Chakra, idiot. The thing that makes jutsu possible,” Sasuke scolded. 

“I knew that,” Naruto crossed his arms. 

I rolled my eyes. “Look, let me just show you what I mean.” I hopped out the window, glad to be on the first floor. 

It was a few seconds before Sasuke and Naruto followed me out. I concentrated chakra on my feet and one of my hands to hold me steady while I attached myself to the wall. When I was standing a few inches off the ground, I took a few steps forward and waved my hands in faux jazz hands. 

“Ta da,” I gestured at my feet. 

“Woah! Sakura, that’s amazing!” Naruto had stars in his eyes. 

“You’ve just got to put chakra at your feet,” I shrugged. “Too little and you won’t stick, too much and you’ll be launched away. Like a magnet kind of. You’ve just got to match the material.” 

I let myself slide off the wall and hopped down onto the ground. 

“Go ahead and try it. I’ll spot you both.” I glanced at the clock inside the classroom and estimated we had about three minutes. Eh, whatever. 

Naruto practically slammed his foot onto the wall in excitement, immediately getting repulsed back. I hurried to catch him before he slammed into the ground. I grit my teeth and fought not to fall back with him. 

“Ha… See, that was a clear example of ‘way too much’ chakra usage.” Sasuke looked thoughtful as he did the same, his foot sliding off the wall slowly. 

I pat Naruto’s shoulder and made sure he was steady before going over to Sasuke. 

“You, on the other hand, could stand to use a bit more chakra.” I squinted at the clock again and sighed. “I can keep teaching you guys after our meeting though. I’m sure that our teacher’s getting impatient.” 

“Oh crap! Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Naruto screeched, cleanly jumping in through the window and sprinting towards the steps. 

“Go, I’ll close the window,” I told Sasuke. He nodded before doing the same as Naruto, albeit much more quietly. 

I jumped in after the boys and made sure to lock the window behind me before jogging to the stairs. Ugh, I have to run up three flights of stairs. I followed after Sasuke and distantly heard Naruto slam the roof door open. Our teacher was idly on his back on top of the railing, reading a clearly adult book peacefully. Another negative strike towards this guy. Who reads porn in front of children? 

“You’re late,” he said in monotone once all of us were present and seated on the stone bench in front of him. 

“That should be our line!” Naruto screeched. “You took so long that even Iruka-sensei went home!” 

He simply hummed. “Did you say something? Anyway, we should get started on introductions. You know; our names, likes, dislikes, dreams for the future. Who wants to start?” 

“Shouldn’t you start? We know nothing about you, but we spent the entire academy with each other,” I huffed. 

“Me?” He acted surprised, his one visible eye wide open with a gloved hand pointing at his face. He heaved a sigh as he sat up and pocketed his book. “I guess so. My name is Hatake Kakashi. I like… stuff. And of course I dislike things. As for dreams for the future… Hmm, I haven’t really thought about it.” 

“All he told us is his name,” Naruto deadpanned. 

“You!” He pointed at Naruto. “Thanks for volunteering. Go ahead.”

Naruto pouted a bit before his eyes lit up. “Alright! My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I like ramen, especially from old man Ichiraku and especially when Iruka-sensei treats me,” he grinned, a small giggle escaping it. See, when he wanted to, Naruto could be a cute kid. “I dislike the three minutes it takes for ramen to cook and my dream for the future? I’m going to be the best Hokage this village has ever seen! Then everyone will finally show me some respect.” He nodded firmly at the end.

Well, that sounds like a goal born of trauma. Not that I can say much about that. My only goal at the moment is getting the hell out of Mother Haruno’s house.

“Good, good. Alright, pinky. You’re next.” 

I felt my eyebrow twitch at the nickname. “My name is Sakura. I like learning and improving. I dislike constant yelling and people who prove themselves to be incompetent. My dream is to have a comfortable, independent life.”

“Well isn’t that bleak. Alright, you next,” he gestured to Sasuke. I glanced over at him and felt an exasperated expression take hold of me. He looks… so edgy.

“I’m Sasuke Uchiha. I don’t like many things and I dislike a lot more. My dream is not a dream, but a goal, and I will make it a reality. I’m going to get strong and kill a certain man.” 

What the fuck?

I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure comments like that get you checked into a mental health facility, even in this world. Kakashi seems distinctly un-bothered though, so maybe I was just overreacting? Naruto looked more annoyed than concerned. Was that kind of thing really common? I feel bizarre. 

“So, do we get to go on cool missions now?!” Naruto practically vibrated out of his seat, a painfully wide smile accompanying his hopeful eyes.

“Hmm… let me think about it.” Kakashi tapped his index finger against his chin. “Nope!”

Yeah, this guy is a major asshole. 

“What?! Why not?” 

Then the bastard started giggling . That giggling turned into cackles and it left all of us severely weirded out. 

“I could tell you,” he mused. “But you wouldn’t like it.”

“No way!” Naruto put on a brave face. “We’re shinobi, nothing can freak us out!” 

I disagree. I’m deeply unsettled as we speak. Still, Sasuke nodded in agreement with Naruto. 

“You see, you’re not really genin yet,” Kakashi grinned. Well, I think he did. “It’s up to me to decide whether or not you get that title. Your exam is tomorrow at noon. Don’t be late. Oh! And don’t eat breakfast. I mean, you can if you like throwing up.” Kakashi shrugged and poofed away without giving anyone a chance to ask questions. 

“WHAT!?” 

I completely agree, Naruto. Kakashi is a grade A asshole.

“Well,” I sighed as I stood up. “All the more reason for me to finish teaching you all how to chakra climb. If you get it down by today, we can even start on water walking.”

“You can walk on water?” Naruto whispered in awe. 

“Sort of. I’ve only tried it once. But come on, both of you. Let’s find some trees to practice on.”

“Let’s go to a training ground by the river,” Sasuke said more than suggested. He took the lead and walked down the stairs ahead of us. I rolled my eyes before tugging Naruto along with me. 

Sasuke was a little taller than Naruto and I, so I had to tug Naruto along every once in a while so we wouldn’t lose Sasuke’s pace. He led us to a secluded training grounds that was way more tree than clearing. 

“Is this still in official use?” I wondered. 

“No, but everything we need is here,” Sasuke shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable. I wouldn’t push him about it. 

“Alright then. How well can you two do the leaf exercise?” I jumped straight into teaching the skill. 

“That’s for eight year olds,” Sasuke protested. 

“So? Can you do it or not?” I tapped my foot. 

“Of course I can,” he scoffed. 

I lifted a brow and swept my hand towards the ground. “Prove it.”

“You’re not serious.” 

I stayed silent, pointedly looking at the leaves on the ground. 

“Um, guys? What’s the leaf exercise?” 

“How in the world did you graduate?” Sasuke grouched. 

“Perfect. Sasuke, show Naruto what I mean. Naruto, I’ll work with you until you get it. This is the first step to chakra walking, after all.” 

“I’m not doing that.”

“Won’t or can’t?” I asked idly, picking at my nails. 

Sasuke groaned, sitting down on the ground. “You’re insufferable.” 

“You’re not disproving my point.”

“Yeah yeah. Pay attention, dobe.” 

I went to a nearby tree and leaned against it. Sasuke, despite his protests, was the one to teach Naruto how to stick leaves to anywhere on his body. It took a solid three hours of work, not that either of them noticed. I think they might be kidding themselves into thinking they hate each other. When Naruto got it down, I congratulated him and led them to a group of three sturdy trees. 

“As I said earlier, your goal is to use a happy medium of chakra. That’ll feel different for everyone depending on how much you have in total, but usually it doesn’t take much. If you’re really sensitive to your chakra levels like I am, you can usually tell that you need about a centimeter and a half thick layer of chakra to make this work.” 

Sasuke raised a brow at that. “You can physically feel your chakra like that?” 

I nodded. “The best way I can describe it is… Like frosting. At least with this type of thing. Anyway, I know that sort of description won’t work for everyone. You can also think of it as filling in the sole of your shoe. You don’t want it to overfill but you also don’t want to add so little that it doesn’t even touch the tree.” 

Sasuke nodded, a little uncertainly, before lifting his foot up to the tree again. He got a few steps up before he slid down. Naruto rushed up again, getting propelled back but not nearly as terribly as the first time. 

“Hey, that’s progress,” I smiled, helping Naruto catch himself before he fell. “Maybe you guys can use a kunai to mark how high you get? That way you can see it yourself.”

“Yeah! Just watch, Sakura! I’ll have this down by sunset, no problem!” 

I pat his head, unsure of what else I could do to cheer him on without making myself uncomfortable. 

“Try your best.” 

I kept an eye on the boys as they worked to get this down, idly demonstrating and trying to explain in different ways throughout the exercise. I wanted to try water walking, but I knew I couldn’t just leave them to work it out themselves. Especially when they were running with kunai. Yeah, they know how to use them, but accidents happen. I was there to catch them both, but it was mainly Naruto whenever he got too excited and accidentally blew himself away from the tree. Sasuke seemed incredibly embarrassed when I caught him bridal-style after he slipped from the first branch on the tree. This was proving to be good strength training for me. I had to be really good about softening their landing with my legs otherwise they’d pop my arm out of its socket. 

The sun was starting to set and neither one of them had managed to get up to the top of the tree like I showed them. 

“Let’s call it a day for now, okay? We still have to do whatever test Kakashi decides to throw at us tomorrow. You’ve made excellent progress in the meantime and I bet you’ll both get it down by tomorrow. Good work, alright guys?” 

Naruto tried to throw himself at me, but I dodged and let him fall into the grass. Sasuke simply nodded his head, I’m assuming his way of saying thanks, and turned to go home. 

“Ne, Sakura, wanna go get ramen together?” Naruto grinned. 

I was about to decline, but my stomach growled. Huh. Yeah, we didn’t eat dinner. That’s… 

“Um, wait here for a second.” I told Naruto, running after Sasuke. “Sasuke!” I called. 

He paused with a questioning glance. “Come, we’re going to get food.”

“No.” He said simply, turning to keep walking. I put my hand on his shoulder and gripped it tightly. 

“I wasn’t asking. We haven’t eaten and I’m sure you don’t want to cook right now. Come on.” 

He frowned but didn’t fight me further as I dragged him back to Naruto. 

“Awe man, S-”

I interrupted him with a pinch to his cheek. “No complaining. Come on, if you guys play nice I’ll pay for your first bowls.”

That comment put Naruto in a great mood. He bragged about Teuchi, the guy who ran Ichiraku Ramen, and his daughter’s cooking. I was honestly looking forward to it. I’d never had ramen in this life, after all. Naruto showed us to the humble stand and excitedly introduced us as his teammates to the shop owners. 

“It’s very nice to meet you,” I smiled at them, pinching Sasuke’s leg when he stayed quiet. 

He swatted my hand away and grumbled hello. Teuchi and Ayame had just laughed and welcomed us before taking our orders. 

“Spicy pork, no egg, please.”

“Spicy miso, like usual!” 

“Shoyu with extra bamboo.” 

I glared at Sasuke until he said please. I nodded in satisfaction and took a sip from the water Ayame had brought us. We had our first team dinner that night. I was surprised to find how much I ended up liking them, even if at first I really disliked them. Maybe I’ve been too hard on everyone until now. Except Kakashi. He’s still a giant asshole. I said goodnight to the boys and paid for their bowls like I promised and headed home. It was already dark by the time I got home and I was unsurpised to find the house silent. I went to take a shower and do some light reading before turning in for the night.

Chapter 5: Chapter Five

Summary:

Bell test

I woke up with a yawn, blinking the sun away from my eyes. For once, I got a decent night of sleep. I’m glad it happened today of all days. I’m sure Kakashi has something stupid planned for us to prove ourselves to him. I wonder if he would find anything we did good enough to become actual shinobi. If not, there was always the medical route for me. I think Naruto and Sasuke would be a bit crushed, though. I sighed and slipped out of bed to change into flexible clothes. Afterwards I started braiding my hair and pinning it to my scalp. 

I would prefer to just chop it all off, but I think I’ll wait until I’m out of Mother Haruno’s house to make it easier for myself. Initially, I had planned to wait five years, but I just can’t handle it. I’ll do it as soon as I have my own apartment. A letter telling me whether or not I’ve been approved should be delivered to the house soon. I’d have to make sure I got it before my parents did. Speaking of… Once I got ready, I quickly ran outside and checked the mailbox. Nothing yet. I went back inside to get my weapons pouch, something that I really wanted to improve but currently didn’t have the budget for. I tied everything in place and started doing some light stretches in preparation for a morning run. 

After some consideration, I took a bit of money to buy myself breakfast. Fuck Kakashi, I’m going to eat and not throw up. I started my morning jog, intending to go around the entire village at least once. I think the most I can run is three and a half laps, which isn’t bad for someone who’s only been halfheartedly trying to improve their endurance. This was only a warm up to my work out though, so I intended to keep it light. I ran around the village and greeted anyone who greeted me, careful to keep my breathing even. I had worked up a light sweat by the time I finished my lap and found myself back in the civilian market. I took advantage of this by heading into a convenience shop where I picked up a water bottle and some yogurt with granola. After some thinking, I picked up some pre-packaged pork musubi. 

It’s not the healthiest breakfast, but it’ll work. I jogged to the training grounds team seven was assigned to. Unsurprisingly, I was the only one there. I’d left the house at around 8:30, so I assumed it was about an hour later now. I settled in to do some more intense upper-body stretches and some simple exercises. I always see people working on their dexterity and accuracy when it comes to throwing, but I haven’t seen many people actually work their body out. That’s what I focused on for now. I worked on building core strength and doing the same things I used to do in my old life. Maybe I’d invest in some weights eventually. I took thirty second breaks in between every set I did, though I couldn’t exactly time them. 

I was doing burpees when Sasuke got to the training ground.

“What are you doing?” He asked distastefully, his outfit much different than mine. 

Oh yeah. Shinobi clothes and work out clothes are very different. Damn, I’d have to buy different outfits. Father Haruno had bought me three outfits, but they all consisted of spandex shorts and a ‘battle dress’. The name itself seemed ridiculous to me, but it would work for now I guess.

“Working out,” I panted, dropping down into a pushup position. 

“Why? You’re just going to waste all your energy.” 

“The grind doesn’t stop, my guy.” 

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“It means I’m not a quitter, Sasuke!” I finished my last burpee and breathed heavily through my nose. I took a long gulp of water and wiped the sweat off of myself. “What time is it?” 

“10:55,” Sasuke said, still visibly confused.

“Cool. I’m going to head home and change.” I dug through the grocery bag and took out the yogurt. 

“I bought three pork musubi- musubi’s? Whatever, I bought three of them. You can have one if you want,” I gestured to the bag. 

“Kakashi-sensei said not to eat,” he pointed out, as if I was stupid. Like, honestly dude. I was there when he said that.

“Up to you, I just don’t want to fight on an empty stomach. Especially so close to lunch and when we don’t know when we’ll finish.” I shrugged. “If Naruto shows up soon, offer the same to him.”

I left before I could see what Sasuke decided, but I supposed I’d find out when I came back. I walked home instead of running to it, taking my time in eating the yogurt. It was pretty good, I won’t lie. I got home in time to see a genin drop off a bunch of letters in the mailbox. I hurried over to check if I’d gotten what I wanted. 

“Awe, sweet. I love it when things work out,” I mumbled against the spoon I held in my mouth. 

I slipped the letter I got back from the apartment manager into my shirt and brought the rest into the kitchen table. Mother Haruno didn’t even glance back from her place at the kitchen sink. I shrugged and quickly went upstairs to change outfits. I multi-tasked and ripped open the letter, scanning it while I tugged on the change of clothes. 

“Fuck yeah,” I whispered, staring at the stamp of approval. I could start moving in the next day and had until the end of the week to do so. I folded the letter and the envelope into tight tubes before shoving it into the brush in Sakura’s room. The handle had come loose a while ago and I discovered its insides to be hollow. It was the perfect hiding place for rolls of money and, apparently, this. I’d start packing things tonight and moving them over. 

I made sure my hair was still in place before running back to the training grounds, having finished my yogurt in my room. The clock in the kitchen told me it was 11:35, so I should theoretically make it back by 12. I waved to a new crowd of people who said hello to me and eventually made it back to training ground seven. When I got there, I saw Naruto excitedly digging into the musubi. I smiled and grabbed mine from the bag, noting that Sasuke didn’t take the other. I sighed and tossed it at him, smirking slightly as it hit his chest. 

“What the-” 

“Trust me, Sasuke. You’re going to regret not eating something .”

Naruto nodded, his mouth full. “Uhuh! Just eat it, teme. Sakura-chan is the smartest for a reason!” He declared through mouthfuls of rice. I cringed at the sight, but was still slightly flattered. 

“You’ve got to be at top strength!” I added. “Otherwise Kakashi, who’s probably eating at this very moment, is definitely going to fail us.” I wondered if Sasuke could tell that I was baiting him. 

Sasuke sighed and took a reluctant sigh of the musubi. I grinned at him and bit into my own, enjoying the flavors melting on my tongue. I’m not that enthusiastic about pulled pork, but at the moment it was really good. 

“How long do you think Kakashi’s going to take this time?” I sighed, taking another bite of the musubi.

“Don’t make me think about it,” Sasuke grimaced. 

“I would say we should work on tree walking, but we should really be at full chakra capacity for whatever he has planned.” 

Sasuke and Naruto nodded, finishing their musubi in silence. I flopped down on the ground after eating mine and regretted not bringing a book like last time. The sun crawled along the sky, the only indication that we weren’t frozen in time. Well, that and the breeze. It was just really annoying to wait for a teacher that clearly didn’t like us, okay? 

“Ugh!” Naruto groaned loudly, flailing his limbs out to the world. I agreed with the sentiment. 

“Shut up, dobe,” Sasuke said automatically. 

In response, Naruto sat up and groaned loudly at him. 

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. “Now boys, play nice. You’ve got to be on your best behavior. It’s unsightly for a budding shinobi to act so foolishly.” 

“Tell that to Naruto, he-“ Sasuke seemed to realize I was patronizing them. “Hmph.” He looked away. 

I snorted and looked away to try and hide my laughter. I’m sure Sasuke and Naruto could see my shoulders shaking, but it’s all I could do to get myself to calm down. Naruto seemed slightly confused, okay , very confused at my laughter. His lack of understanding only made it that much funnier to me. 

“Cut it out, Sakura,” Sasuke hissed, a faint tint of pink dusting his cheekbones. 

“Don’t be embarrassed,” I gasped, taking deep breaths. “It was very cute.” 

His scowl deepened and a look of horror faintly flashed across his eyes. 

I started cracking up again. “Oh my god you have fangirls! How did I forget?!” I planted myself face down on the ground, desperately trying to not choke and die. My laughing had evolved into gross wet coughs. 

“Sakura, are you okay?!” Naruto asked, rushing over to me but not actually touching me. 

I coughed a few times and spit out a wad of saliva before lifting myself off the grass. “Just peachy. God. Sasuke, never make that face again, I’ll actually die.” 

He definitely didn’t appreciate getting laughed at. I fanned my overheated face, vaguely amused at Sasuke’s attempts to avoid looking at me. 

“Sorry for laughing at you,” I smiled wryly. “I didn’t mean anything bad by it.” 

He grumbled something under his breath that I didn’t quite catch. I suddenly realized… ugh this is embarrassing. I’ve been starving myself from human interaction for the better part of two years. I’d take anything at this point. I sighed and crossed my legs to sit more comfortably. That’s kind of depressing, isn’t it? I could have probably spiraled with these thoughts for hours, but Kakashi appeared in the clearing a few minutes later. 

“Great, you’re all here!” He cheered. 

Naruto sprang to his feet and pointed at him angrily. “You’re late!” 

“Am I? I’m sorry, I had to take the long way here after I found a shattered mirror on my usual route. It’s bad luck after all.” 

I stared at Kakashi in disbelief. Really? Great. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. 

“You know, every time you ignore a bad omen, it’s pushed onto a fragile, innocent person. Like my obaasan,” I dramatically sniffed. “She would still be around if my cousin hadn’t seen a black cat and left her to bear it alone.” 

I’ve never met a single cousin I have. I never met my grandmother. 

Kakashi’s eye slid over to me. I hate that I can’t tell what he’s thinking. 

“Really? That sounds awful. I wish I knew what to say, Sakura. Unfortunately I’ve been on my own since I was 12, so I’m afraid I can’t comfort you.” 

Oh he did not just escalate. 

“It’s okay. There’s no one to blame but the selfish actions of my cousin and those people who do the same as him. It’s too bad, really. Karma always catches up, for better or for worse.” 

Kakashi nodded solemnly. “It does. Which is an excellent segway for what I’m about to explain. Naruto! Make sure you pay attention. Your exam for today is as follows: you have to get these bells from me to prove your worth as a possible ninja. Those who get a bell, pass. Those who don’t will fail and be sent back to the academy for a year.” 

Ah, so he is pissed about Naruto’s prank. Boohoo. 

“But there’s only two bells,” Naruto pointed out. 

Oh shit. Don’t tell me. 

“Oh! So it appears there is. Only two of you can pass. Then again, maybe only one of you will pass. Oh, oh! Maybe all of you will fail! Who can tell, really?” His eye crinkled with his smile. 

Mother fucker. What a sadistic bastard. He’s just asking for me to kick his balls in. 

“Don’t hesitate to come at me with the intent to kill. It’s the only way you’ll have a chance.” Oh, thanks for the invite you sick fuck. 

Naruto took this comment as permission to run at the man with a very sharp kunai. My eye twitched as I watched him get pinned down in the span of two seconds. 

Kakashi clicked his tongue in disapproval and shook his head. “I didn’t even say start yet, but good effort.” The praise sounded sarcastic. 

Kakashi’s voice was starting to make my skin itch. I narrowed my eyes at him before turning to look at Sasuke, finding him similarly pissed. 

Kakashi lifted Naruto by the back of his jacket and shoved him back over to us. I was quick to catch him and hold him steady. He pulled a clock from god knows where and set it on a stump. 

“This timer will ring when the assignment’s over. Your time starts now.” 

I quickly let go of Naruto and leapt into the trees, hiding in their shadows like second nature. This skill was the village’s namesake and it was a skill every shinobi, no matter the rank, age, or experience had mastered. It was the first thing the academy taught you and the last thing it reinforced. To be a Konohan shinobi was to be one with the terrain. Naruto, for whatever reason, chose not to make use of this skill. 

“Lesson one,” Kakashi quipped sardonically. “Taijutsu.”

I had the displeasure of watching him try to fight Kakashi head on. Idiot . There’s no shot he’d win a physical fight against a fully trained grown adult. Unfortunately I’m dog shit at strategizing, so I couldn’t do much but watch and contemplate plans that I’d inevitably throw out. Naruto was still swinging and missing his hits at Kakashi when I decided on my stupid plan. I scuttled down the tree and picked up a few decently sized stones, pushing my chakra into two of them and tossing them on either side of Kakashi’s head. 

His eye snapped to the one on the left and I figured it would be drifting to the right pebble soon enough, so I prepared my chakra and vanished in a swirl of leaves. I reappeared in thin air and tagged another stone before tossing it into the forest and trying to curb stomp Kakashi. Unfortunately he just jumped back, realizing he couldn’t stand still to dodge me like he’d been to Naruto. I tugged on the last stone and swirled away before landing in front of a tree. 

I looked up in time to see Naruto get launched from- that… that’s assault. My jaw went slack as I saw Naruto arch forward and land in a lake (the evidence was in the geyser worthy splash he made). 

I froze in place at the heavy weight of a hand landing on my shoulder.

“Lesson two,” Kakashi sang. “Genjutsu.”

I had one second to think ‘oh shit’ before I was dragged into the hell viewing technique. I knew exactly what this was due to extensive research, but that didn’t make breaking out of it any easier. Luckily, Kakashi didn’t put much effort into locking my chakra in place. I tried to ignore the scene in front of me as I focused on my chakra pathways and willed it to figuratively ‘flush’ away Kakashi’s chakra. 

I flinched back at the disturbing creak of splintering bones and urged my chakra to work faster. I felt my chakra find Kakashi’s and shove it away from me, sending me into infinite relief. I was on my knees when I blinked back into awareness. I vaguely felt the need to throw up, but I refused to give Kakashi the satisfaction. I grit my teeth and ran to the other side of the forest, no longer caring about plausibility. I’m going to eliminate his ability to ever sire a child. 

I would have done it too, if I didn’t come across Sasuke buried neck-deep in the ground. 

“Damn, he got you too, huh?” I huffed under my breath, immediately dropping to my knees and digging the dirt away. 

“I don’t need your help,” Sasuke said through clenched teeth. 

“Mhm, I’m sure getting out of this on your own would be very effective and not painful. Just let me help, Sasuke. That’s what teammates are for.” 

“We’re not even shinobi yet,” he protested. 

“Don’t care. You and Naruto are my teammates and I’m going to help you whenever I can. Even if today’s our last day as team seven, I’ll gladly lend a hand.” I grinned as I finally broke away enough of the ground for Sasuke to wiggle out of. 

“Hm. Let’s just find Naruto.” It was clear he was reluctant to say thing, but it still pleased me to know he was willing to put aside their differences to complete a goal. 

My grin slipped into something smaller and prouder. I nodded and followed, figuring that Sasuke would know more than me about Naruto’s location. I was, after all, busy avoiding having to look at my ideal self melting. I wouldn’t delve into that right now, if ever. 

We found him just in time to stop him from charging straight at Kakashi again. 

“There’s only two bells!” He’d insisted. 

I sighed and tilted my head back. “If we don’t work together, no one will get a bell at all . But honestly, I think this test is designed for us to fail anyway. Kakashi’s a jonin. It’s ridiculous to suggest that a fresh, like right off the vine fresh, team of genin could beat him. So clearly there’s something we’re missing. Maybe we’re not actually supposed to get the bells. Maybe he’s testing our ability to think critically, or maybe he’s just being an asshole and playing around before he fails us no matter the outcome.” 

“So what do we do?” Naruto asked a bit miserably. 

“We put in an effort,” Sasuke said firmly, his jaw set. It would have been inspiring if he wasn’t a baby-faced kid. A+ for effort though. “We can’t just quit because he doesn’t like us. Would you rather stop and never try? Never know if maybe you could have gotten through if you’d put in the work? We could give up and resign ourselves to the academy, or we could try and show that we at least care enough to put in an honest effort.” 

For a second, I thought I saw the image of a man behind him; tall, but not overly so, and serious with laugh lines around his eyes. Someone with authority and an intense drive to do a job to the best of his ability. I wondered if it was who Sasuke would grow up to be. 

Naruto perked up a little before he remembered it was Sasuke that gave this speech. He turned his nose up into the air and crossed his arms, a pout fully visible on his scarred cheeks. 

“I guess you’re right,” he grumbled unwillingly. “But we need a plan.” 

“Keep in mind that we only have two hours,” I chimed in, crossing my ankles. “God knows how much time has passed since this shit show started.” 

Naruto clicked his tongue, his usual aura of light hearted pride dimmed down. “I can set up a few traps, but I doubt he’d run into them. If we get near him in taijutsu, he’ll just throw us off like spiders. He won’t chase us either. Man, this sucks.” 

“I can pressure him with the great fireball jutsu,” Sasuke asserted, a confident gleam in his eyes. 

“I can make him nauseous,” I shrugged. “Minor genjutsu and some well placed light illusions. Speaking of light illusions, maybe making clones would distract him enough for you to trip him up with a trap.”

Naruto’s eyes widened before he smacked himself on the forehead. “Oh, duh! Guys, I totally forgot that I can make shadow clones.”

Sasuke looked confused. My thoughtful expression melted off my face. “You what?” I asked flatly, disbelief slowly snaking around my brain. 

“I can make shadow clones! I can’t do regular clones, but shadow clones are way cooler anyway,” he grinned with a puffed chest. 

“How?!” I cried. “It takes so much chakra! I’ve researched it before! Shadow clones are the most chakra-taxing clone jutsu to use. Just making one could drain more than half of my chakra capacity.” 

Sasuke looked deeply interested while Naruto continued to preen. “I can make so many! I think I made like 80 the day of our graduation, and I wasn’t even tired. Cool, huh?” 

“How much fucking chakra do you have?” I whispered, my mind thoroughly shattered. 

Sakura had small reserves, and yeah, they’ve gotten better over the years with constant use, but it wasn’t and wouldn’t ever be big enough to cast more than a couple of B rank jutsu in battle. Three at most. Maybe an A rank and a C rank. Then I’d have to rely on hand-to-hand if I could still stand. 

“We’re getting side tracked,” Sasuke said politely yet forcefully. 

I nodded my head, the word ‘sorry’ trapped behind my teeth. I swallowed it back and took a deep breath. I… definitely had to work on that. Pride could get you killed in a life like this. 

“Right. Um, Naruto. You and Sasuke should definitely pressure Kakashi on as many sides as possible. I can cast a mild genjutsu to hopefully disorient him and, assuming you can get close enough, grab the bells. This’ll have to be done by whoever’s closest to them, which I assume will be one of your clones.” I tried to push away my discomfort as I scrambled to make a plan. 

It definitely wasn’t very good , but it’s the best I could come up with. I was never a great planner. 

“I wish we had more time to flesh out a better plan,” Sasuke muttered, his face pinched. 

“Me too,” Naruto and I said together. 

“I should have come up with plans yesterday,” Naruto said mournfully, sad blue eyes turned to the ground. 

“What’s done is done,” Sasuke huffed. “Let’s go before we run out of time.” 

Naruto and I nodded, following Sasuke’s lead. We hopped back up into the trees and scanned the area, looking for Kakashi. He was dead center of the clearing. 

“Fucking prick,” I muttered. “Hope he steps in dog shit.” 

“You curse a lot, Sa-chan,” Naruto said absentmindedly. He looked up when I didn’t reply. “Haha, not that that’s bad or anything!” He smiled nervously after catching my stare. 

I rolled my eyes and focused on Kakashi. I narrowed my eyes on him. Did he know our plan? If I were him, I’d definitely be spying. I was vague on the genjutsu I planned to use for a reason. I would start with a motion blur, something I’m sure he’ll notice, before going with the nausea-inducing genjutsu and piling on a depth perception genjutsu. I’d probably throw in a few flashlight techniques just to make him look away. I had to be as subtle and quick between casting as possible if I wanted a fair shot at tripping the man up. 

“On my mark,” Sasuke whispered. 

He counted down from three and watched as Naruto absolutely swarmed Kakashi with clones. Sasuke launched fireballs at Kakashi through Naruto’s clones and I quickly got to work on the genjutsu sequence I had planned. Kakashi side stepped easily and threw Naruto clones at Sasuke’s fireball, not even batting an eye at the chaos around him. I scowled. How dare the bastard look so composed? 

It was frustrating. I hated having to fight something so futile, and every inch of me was begging to turn it into a fist fight that I knew I would lose. I’d have to get my temper in check, most definitely. It was affecting my judgement. I grinned ruefully. As if it hadn’t been already. I absentmindedly conjured up a hole to appear close to Kakashi’s foot and watched as he seamlessly stepped just an inch ahead of it and popped ten Naruto clones in one go. Show off. 

I was close to giving up and marching myself straight to the hospital, but our timer ran out before I could make a dramatic exit. I hissed through my teeth, disappointed. I wondered how Kakashi would fail us. Would he be serious? Would he be gleeful? I walked stiffly to Naruto and Sasuke, their faces grim as mine. Kakashi’s expression was stormy as he shut off the clock’s alarm. I supposed he’d dig into our failure and list a thousand ways to beat his test. 

He turned to us, his gaze sharp as an eagle. 

“You three,” his tone conveyed deep annoyment. “Pass!”

The sudden change was enough to give the three children whiplash. 

“What?!” Naruto screeched, his blue eyes wider than the moon. “I-Iwh- HUH?!” 

I stared blankly at Kakashi, Naruto’s shouting and Sasuke’s grumbling becoming static. We passed his stupid exam? We… is he messing with us? What kind of cruel joke is this? I shivered, a sudden realization slamming into me with the strength of a rugby player. 

“We’re stuck with him until we’re chunin,” I voiced my horror. 

My knees slammed into the ground as I fell. For the first time in this life, I was dangerously close to crying. 

“No,” Naruto gaped. “Sakura, why would you say that?”

“It’s true,” Sasuke grimaced. “In becoming genin under his watch, we’ve become his students.”

Kakashi chuckled, covering his mouth with his book. Ass hat. 

“Well my dear students,” he sang. “I’ll see you in two days. Meet me back here at 8 am sharp!” 

Naruto wailed, falling beside me. 

“You’re not even going to show up on time! You- you... BUTT HEAD!” 

Kakashi gasped, utterly offended. “I’ll never recover. In fact, such a slight is so wounding that I must leave at once.” 

He turned on his heel and marched off promptly, looking every bit hurt as he said. 

“Jack off,” I grit my teeth and bowed my head against the grass. 

Naruto threw himself onto me, violently hugging me to accompany his sobs. 

“I’m leaving,” Sasuke huffed flatly. 

Naruto and I dramatically accepted our fate a few minutes later. 

Chapter 6: Chapter Six

Summary:

Sakura moves into his new apartment

Notes:

Main cast is back in the plot next chapter. This was just to get rid of Mother and Father Haruno.

As soon as I got home, I started shoving my shit in trash bags. Yeah, there were transportation methods called ‘storage scrolls’, but those things cost money I didn’t have. It was old fashioned labor for me. I put everything of value into these bags and stashed them in my closet, intent to sneak them out once the sun set. I grabbed a pair of leggings and a casual shirt from Sakura’s wardrobe and set out to shower. 

I’d probably also do a load of laundry. No way am I hiking up my own water and electric bill when I can do that here. Actually, I wonder how my- Sakura’s parents paid for their home. Mother Haruno worked part time as a seamstress and Father Haruno did… I actually don’t know. I don’t want to know. I realized I’d have to leave a lot of Sakura’s stuff behind. There’s just no way I could transport bookshelves and the other heavy shit in her room across town and into my apartment.

I crept downstairs, spotting Mother Haruno tending to the back garden. I rushed into the kitchen and took out several grocery store bags before speeding back up to my room. I locked my door and started folding clothes to put them there. If I was discreet enough, I could start moving things now. Besides, I still had to meet the landlord for the key and cash exchange. I put a lot of the clothes bags in my closet and took four in one arm while I climbed out my window. 

The great thing about building a reputation as a helpful errand-runner was that no one spared me a glance as I carried four very full bags across town. 

“Hello,” I greeted who I assumed was the manager at the apartment’s lobby. “Are you the manager here?”

“Yes, I am. Who might you be?”

I held out my hand with a polite smile. “Haruno Sakura, ma’am. I filled out an application for apartment 8C the other day?” 

Her eyes lit up in remembrance. “Oh! Yes, yes I remember. My, I didn’t expect you to be quite so young. I’m Umeda Atsuko.” Her hand shake was firm, surprising me a little. She was a bit older, in her late 40s or mid 50s if I had to guess, but she was still very full of strength.

I chuckled nervously, letting my hand fall back down to my side. “It’s no surprise, I suppose. I have this month’s rent ready if you’d like to collect it already.”

“Oh, that’s quite helpful. Do you have the security deposit ready as well?” 

I nodded, reaching into the folds of the shinobi outfit. “Yes. It was 600 yen, right?” 

“Yes indeed! I must say, it’s very delightful to have such a prepared tenant.” She accepted the money cheerfully while taking a notebook out of her apron. She marked something under a category labeled ‘8C’. “Let me show you the apartment, dear. Oh, but first, the mail boxes are here on this floor. They’re separated by rows, so the third row is where you’ll find yours. Here’s the key to that.” 

I thanked the woman sincerely before I followed her up the stairwell. The building was a little old, but it was still a breath of fresh air. Just knowing that I had full freedom here was worth it. 

“Tenants are allowed to paint their front doors however they like as long as it’s nothing explicit,” she informed me cheerfully. “The only rule is that your design must be submitted to me for approval. You can’t have large things in front of your apartment, but things like welcome matts and potted plants are perfectly fine. If you ever want a free-roaming pet, such as birds, rabbits, dogs, and cats, you must pay a pet insurance fee. It’s an additional 400 yen a month. Pets like lizards, fish, hamsters, and anything else that can live in a tank of sorts are fine without the fee. Trained shinobi animals are not included for the fee. It’s mostly to make sure the apartment doesn’t get destroyed, you know?” 

I nodded, already thinking if I’d ever want a pet. Well, I do want one, but can I keep it? I’ll eventually start taking missions outside of the village for an indefinite amount of time. 

“Storage scrolls are available to help you move in if you’d like them. Any new tenants are allowed two per person,” she hummed, absolutely shattering my mind. 

I can take all of Sakura’s shit. 

“R-really?” I gaped hopefully. “Is there a renting fee or something?” 

She laughed a little, opening the door to the third floor for me. “Not at all. The only rule is that they must be returned to me by the end of your move-in period. Failure to comply will lead to a 20,000 yen fee for every missing scroll. They are quite expensive, you know.” 

I gulped. That’s a big number. “Yes, I understand completely. Thank you so much, Umedo-san.” I bowed a little. I can’t even begin to describe the amount of relief and gratefulness I feel for her.

“Not a problem at all, Sakura-san. Let me go fetch them for you. Ah, here’s the key to the apartment. Please feel free to look around.” 

I thanked her again and grabbed the silver key nervously. My own place… I steeled my nerves and walked to the end of the hall where I spotted apartment 8C. The door was painted blue and the letters were copper. The windows were shut, but the blinds on the inside were opened. I unlocked the door, feeling a bit giddy. Instantly, I was reminded of something I completely forgot about. 

Furniture. 

The apartment was mostly empty. I could weep in joy at the kitchen appliances. I closed the door behind me and took in the empty space. The door led straight into the living room which was closely connected to the kitchen. It was an open layout, separated by a breakfast bar connected to the kitchen counters. 

There was a door leading out to a wooden balcony on the left side of the kitchen. In front of the sliding door was a small round table. Oh crap, I need to buy plates and utensils. I turned to the hallway and was quickly greeted by a door on the left hand side of it. I twisted the door open and found a barren bedroom. Shit, I’m so grateful for those scrolls. I need to bring Sakura’s bed. This room was a good amount bigger than the kid’s room, which I was grateful for. I set down the bags of clothes in front of the closet. It was a nook carved out from the room, really. Maybe I’d buy some curtains for it, but probably not. I definitely wouldn’t be installing doors, even though the perfect ones came to mind. 

I had to be realistic about my money limitations. Speaking of… I ran the mental numbers. I just paid the landlord 20,000 yen, which is about half of my total funds. Doing the math, I estimated that I had just under 26,200 yen to my name. Next month I’d need to pay 14,000 yen, which would leave me with 12,200 ish. I need to make a meal plan and see how much clothes and furnishings cost. I sighed, running a hand down my face. It’d be better to move in today and spend the rest of the week doing odd jobs. Plus d-ranks. I wondered how soon Kakashi would start us on them. If I were a jonin-sensei, I’d spend the first week or two on training. 

I left the room and explored the last two doors in the house. Down the hall there were two doors across from each other. The one on the right side of the hall led into a medium-sized storage closet, which I planned to fill with towels and cleaning supplies. The door on the left revealed a large full bathroom. I grinned at the sight of the tub and washing basin. I was fine with doing laundry by hand. There was an electric dryer in the bathroom, a good distance away from the shower and sink. I could definitely work with this. There was a knock on the apartment door that drew me away from relishing in my new accommodations. 

“Sakura-san?” Atsuko called. 

“Coming!” 

I opened the door, a happy smile still on my face. 

“How did you find the apartment?” Atsuko asked kindly. 

“It’s super great! Oh, are those the storage scrolls? Thank you so much, Umeda-san,” I bowed again, literally giddy at the idea of having a quick move. 

“Please, call me Atsuko,” she laughed warmly. “I’m glad you like it. Let me know if you need anything else, okay Sakura?” 

“Yes! Thank you again.” I held onto the scrolls happily. 

“Not a problem at all. I’ll see you later.” 

I waved goodbye to her and took the keys she’d given me out of the dress. I put the mail key on the kitchen table and tucked the house key in one of the pouches I had on me. I made sure the windows were locked and the blinds were fully open to let natural light into the apartment before leaving and locking the door behind me. I tucked the scrolls into the folds of my outfit and quickly went downstairs before rushing to Sakura’s parent’s house. I eagerly jumped back into her room through the window and unrolled the scrolls. I put them facing down on the surfaces of the objects I wanted to take. I put one on the bed and the other on the vanity in her room. With a grin, I sent a spark of chakra into each scroll and watched as the furniture was sucked into them. 

“Yes,” I hissed, bouncing on the toes of my feet. I climbed on top of my bookshelves and put the scrolls there next. I fed them my chakra and quickly jumped back to avoid falling with the inertia of suddenly disappearing shelves. 

I looked at the scrolls and saw that they were a little under half-way filled. I had two more shelves to put in them, then two dressers, and if there was still space, I’d start shoving in clothes. I did just that, my happy grin not at all fading. When the scrolls were filled, I grabbed another four bags of clothes and made the journey again. 

I shoved the bags of clothes into the corner and unsealed the scroll. 

“Oh great, I have to move everything where I need it to be. Eh, still better than the alternative.” 

I shrugged and went back to Sakura’s home to get the rest of the things. Now that the big furniture was gone, I just had to shove all the little stuff in the scrolls. 

All before dinner time. I grinned. I almost wish I could stay to see the looks on Sakura’s parent’s faces when they came to check on me and saw the room completely empty. I picked up a notepad and quickly scribbled out ‘moved out, am fine. See you around. ’ and taped it to the wall. I briefly considered taking the curtains before shrugging and leaving them. I looked around the barren room and nodded proudly before unlocking the bedroom door and going to the bathroom to take my things. I took out the laundry I did the day before from the dryer and shoved it into the scroll happily. Because I’m an asshole, I also took Mebuki’s soap dish. I wouldn’t use it, I just knew she had it custom made and would have to order a replacement and wait months to receive it. 

I left the house with a spring in my step. I spent the rest of my day arranging my room and putting away everything I’d brought along. Folding clothes was surprisingly irritating. The room had grown dim by the time I finished. I was forced to turn on the lights as the setting sun mocked me. I was a little sweaty by the time everything was where I wanted it to be. I sniffed under my arm and shrugged. Shinobi deodorant was strong. I turned the room light off and went into the hallway, squinting in the darkness. I entered the bathroom and fixed it up next. My stomach growling pulled me away from my task. I shushed it absentmindedly and kept working until I finished putting everything away. 

“Yeah, yeah,” I huffed. “I’ll feed you, you stupid stomach.” 

As if it could understand me, it rumbled extra hard. I rolled my eyes and wiped my hands on my shorts. I mentally made a list of options in my head. Ideally, I’d just go to the grocery store and buy things to start cooking, but first I needed to buy pots and pans. Plus, I didn’t actually know if those stores were still open. I started considering restaurants for today. There were a few barbeque places, but they were all like fifty yen a person. Hm… That place Naruto took me and Sasuke to was pretty cheap, right? Twenty yen per bowl. Good enough. 

I washed my hands (note to self: buy soap before this bit runs out) and dried them on my clothes before turning off the bathroom light and leaving my home for the last time today. I vaguely remembered the way to Ichiraku, but it was good enough to get me there. 

“Ah! Naruto’s teammate,” Ayame grinned as I ducked into the stall. “Sakura, right?” 

I frowned instinctively at hearing Sakura’s name before I forced it into a smile. “Yes, that’s right. It’s good to see you again, Ayame.” 

I sat down and skimmed over the menu. 

“What can I get for you?” She asked cheerfully, ready to take my order on the notepad she had. 

“Spicy shrimp ramen, no egg, and extra bean sprouts. Please and thank you.” 

“Not a problem at all. Do you want a drink?” 

“Water, please.”

“Mm, I’ll bring it over soon.” 

I nodded and said thank you before leaning on my palm. I caught Teuchi’s eye and waved hello. He grinned and nodded in return. Ayame returned with my water and went to clean the dishes in the sink. I sipped on my water and wondered if I should do some shopping now or later. I think I’ll limit myself to spending 15000 yen from now until I have a chance to pay next month’s rent or until I’ve saved up enough money to cover that. I need to be conscious about my usage. 

I need to buy clothes. I have plenty of acceptable civilian clothes, but not enough shinobi clothes. And of course it’s significantly more expensive due to the chakra-resistant material. I needed to buy groceries too, and obviously kitchen stuff. Soap, shampoo, laundry soap, cleaning liquids, brooms and dustpans. I sighed and scratched my head. I’m just tired. My body ached now that I’ve given it the chance to cool off. I suspect that I’ll sleep like a rock tonight.I bit back a groan. Tomorrow’s our first day with Kakashi. There’s just so much to do. Surely I’d take a hit to my finances by the lack of time I’m being presented with. All the more reason to plan everything out to a t. 

I drank some more of my water, glum with the day’s progression. Who knew being independent was so stressful?

I did, moron. I did this for a decade in my past life. Why didn’t I prepare myself for the mental stress? Why?! My downcast mood perked up a bit as Teuchi placed the bowl of ramen in front of me. 

“Enjoy,” he smiled politely. 

“Thank you for the food.”

I eagerly dug in, enjoying the spicy broth and crunchy bean sprouts. Slowly, the joy of the food made me forget about my problems. It was a good night.

Chapter 7: Chapter Seven

Summary:

Kakashi = big fat meanie zucchini

I awoke to an unfamiliar ceiling. The sight of it made me grin. I was free from the Haruno household. This thought stayed throughout my morning routine. I left my apartment twenty minutes earlier than I usually would. Realistically I didn’t need to, but I still had to pick up breakfast. I hadn’t had the chance to shop for the necessities yet, but I was determined to do it before tomorrow. I had a spring in my step as I went through town, only to freeze at the soft strands of Sakura’s hair that brushed my neck with every bounce. I blinked slowly, automatically moving to tie it up. And then I remembered. 

There’s nothing stopping me from chopping it all off. I grinned fiercely and eagerly changed my path, running to a barber shop that was a bit close to my apartment. No way I trusted myself to do it. Not well at least. I calmed myself down by the time I opened the door, unsurprised to see it mostly empty. 

“Hello,” the owner greeted me with a smile. “How can I help you?”

“How much for a haircut?” I asked. 

“Depends. Trims are 20 yen, full haircuts are anywhere from 30 to 50 yen.” He said, wiping down a station. 

“I want to cut off my hair,” I said determinedly. I picked up a magazine off of the front desk and flipped through them quickly. I stopped on something heavily layered but still short. “This one, please.”

He looked at the picture with a raised brow. “You sure, miss? That’s a big change.”

I nodded, a firm expression on my face. “I’m certain of it.”

“Alright. Go ahead and sit, then. I’ll go get a razor.”

He wouldn’t be shaving down as closely as my world used to, it just wasn’t in style here, but he’d certainly make my hair much closer to my scalp than it was now. Sakura’s hair had inherited her father’s volume and her mother’s texture. Although her hair was thin, it was plentiful, so combining it with her father’s volume left it to look great. The texture could use some work, but I cared more about making it look good to me than making it soft. 

The barber asked me one last time if I was sure I wanted to cut my hair like that before I affirmed that yes, I do and he started cutting. Watching the hair fall onto the ground was definitely cathartic. I didn’t look into the mirror in front of me until the barber told me he was done. I stared and stared and stared until I couldn’t remember what I looked like with Sakura’s long locks. 

“Thank you,” I breathed out, an invisible weight lightening upon my shoulders. I brushed away the short pieces of hair that stuck to me despite the cape I’d been given. “How much do I owe you?”

“40 yen,” he hummed, cleaning his tools. 

I gave him 80. He thanked me and told me to come by when I needed a trim. I smiled at him and left, energized by this new development. I shook my head, happy with how light I felt. I made my way to the convenience store to buy a sandwich and some fruit. I also got a cup of oatmeal to which I put brown sugar and sesame seeds. I got pineapple and apple to go with the random assortment of food. I also grabbed a water bottle and a smaller carton of juice.

I checked the clock and saw that I still had a bit of time before I had to be at the training grounds (like fifteen minutes) so I sat at one of the plastic tables offered and ate my purchases. I greeted the store owner with a warm smile while I finished eating. I wondered how my teem would react to my new haircut. If anyone hurt my feelings, I wouldn’t hesitate to punch them. Child or not.

I wiped at my mouth with a paper towel and finished my water bottle before tossing everything in the trash. (Minus the bottle of course. Never mix trash and recycling.) I saw the clock and realized I only had seven minutes to get to the training grounds. I recalled Kakashi’s tendency to be hours late and shrugged. I think he’ll show his face at ten, at the earliest. Figuratively. I don’t think a man as insane as Kakashi would ever actually show his face. I bet he’s horribly scarred from the chin down. 

I enjoyed my stroll through the village, peacefully biding my time until I reached the training grounds. It was a really nice morning. I almost expected to see a beautiful heroine singing through a window. The village was incredibly active considering the time. I made it to the training grounds, unsurprised to see that I was the last of us there. I started stretching once I crossed into the grassy area. 

“You’re late,” Naruto huffed, sprawled out on the grass. 

“I’m not late unless Kakashi’s here,” I shrugged. 

He sat up at the sound of my voice before letting out a giant gasp. “Sakura! Y-your hair!” 

I rolled my eyes and kept stretching. “What about it?”

“It’s so short !” 

“The only short thing here is you, so watch it Naruto.” 

He wilted a little. “I’m not that short, dattebayo.”

“Did you and Sasuke master chakra walking yet? Or should I continue to supervise?” I changed the subject, sighing as a few satisfying pops stretched my back. 

“Let’s continue,” Sasuke said, standing up from under the tree he was resting at. He eyed my hair before shrugging and walking over to Naruto and I. 

“The sooner you guys master this, the sooner we can start on water walking,” I reminded, hoping to encourage them. 

“Yeah! Hurry up, teme!” Naruto cheered, taking a kunai from his holster and running up the tree. 

“Tch. We both know I’ll learn this first, dobe.” 

I grinned at their backs. They were so totally rivals on equal footing. They could pretend to hate each other all they wanted, but I knew a sibling rivalry when I saw one. Me and Mark had-

My grin fell. I couldn’t remember… I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I shouldn’t think about it. I focused on the boys, ensuring that they weren’t in danger of falling out of a tree. My good mood was gone, unfortunately, but this didn’t stop me from doing my job well. I caught them whenever they fell and ignored Sasuke’s annoyed grumbling. 

I’ve got no clue what Kakashi was doing to be so late, because an hour later Naruto and Sasuke had both reached the top of their trees and there was still no sign of him. 

“Good,” I praised, a proud smile on my face. “Let’s race to the top. Ready or not!” 

I knew Naruto would complain about it so I started without warning. The boys scrambled after me, both of them showing off their competitive nature. Running vertically was… certainly an experience. It made me a little light headed and it was weirdly more tiring than running normally. I risked a glance down to make sure the kids weren’t falling out of the tree and powered on as I realized Naruto was starting to catch up. I pumped my legs faster, making sure at least one foot was on the tree at all times. I reached the highest branch and took heavy breaths through my nose. 

“I win!” I grinned, watching as Sasuke neatly hopped onto his branch and stared Naruto down. 

“No fair,” Naruto stuck his tongue out. “You’ve been doing this for way longer than us.” 

I shrugged. “Life’s not fair, buddy boy. You’ll just have to get better and beat me next time. Now… to get down from here.” 

“Bet you I can get down faster,” Naruto quickly said, bravely jumping and climbing down like a monkey. Sasuke followed quickly, going down with just enough chakra to slide instead of stick. 

I rolled my eyes and started using the branches to swing my way down. Sasuke beat us back to the ground. He was smug as he watched Naruto jump to the ground and me climb down the rest of the way with chakra.

“That was a very clever use of chakra,” I praised, wiping the light sheen of sweat off of my brow. 

Sasuke preened, but subtly. His smug look turned a touch prouder and his shoulders widened, but he didn’t acknowledge the compliment. 

“Man,” Naruto whined. “I’m bored again. When’s stupid Kakashi-sensei gonna get here?” 

I shrugged, running my hand through the back of my hair. Ah, so nice. Can I just tell you how great having short hair is? 

I flopped down onto the grass and laid like a starfish. Such nice grass. I yawned and let my eyes slip shut. 

“Wake me up when Kakashi gets here,” I said. 

I heard and, to a smaller extent, felt as Naruto and Sasuke sat on the grass. I tuned out Naruto’s speech and focused on what I could feel. The grass, the breeze, the sun. Slowly, I lulled myself to sleep. 

I dreamed that I was me again. It was a nice dream, one that segwayed into a nightmarish setting. I was doing something mundane when the walls around me started to melt into shimmering silver puddles. The ground beneath me turned into a spotted  gray stone. It was cold. I looked around, tuffs of pink hair gently hitting my cheekbones. 

I was Sakura again. Not quite. My hair was short. I was almost me. I looked up and straight ahead, spotting three circles. Two were pale, the way Toph’s eyes were in avatar. The third was striking red. The pale circles seemed to turn to me, a skull of some sort slowly forming around it. It was… disturbing. I woke up a moment later, shivers running down my spine. I gripped my hands together and frowned at their coldness. 

That was freaky as hell. I looked around the clearing and realized that Naruto and Sasuke were also asleep. I sighed. It was probably better for me to stay awake anyway. I emptied my weapon pouch and grabbed the whetstone, popping a small bag of water and rubbing it into the gray material. I got through most of my weapons by the time Kakashi appeared in the clearing. I picked up two pebbles and threw them at Naruto and Sasuke before putting away my tools. 

“My, wasting time already?” Kakashi scolded. 

“We wouldn’t have to if you respected the schedule you came up with,” I pointed out dryly.

Naruto yawned from behind me, mumbling out ‘you’re late’ before rubbing his eyes. I rolled mine. 

“Sounds like insubordination to me,” Kakashi hummed idly. 

“Oh no, I’m so scared,” I drawled under my breath. 

“Cheeky brat. Just for that, we’ll be running laps on the village wall.” 

I looked at him blankly. Is that all? Is that the best this dude can do? 

“Cool. How many?”

“Hmmm… 25. You have until sundown,” he smiled cheerfully. 

“25?!” Naruto screeched. “The village is huge!”

“What’s that? You want to do 50?” Kakashi gasped. 

“Shut up, idiot.” Sasuke cuffed the back of Naruto’s neck when it looked like he was going to complain again.

Despite stretching earlier, I started to do so again. Just basic ones for now. 

“Well, we’ve wasted enough time,” Kakashi sighed, sounding like it wasn’t his fault at all. Brat. “Let’s go.” 

His pace was too quick for us. Stupid tall man. He was speed-walking, something we couldn’t match thanks to the foot-long difference between our heights. He’s so annoying. It didn’t help that he was purposely ducking and weaving through the busy crowds. I kept an eye on Sasuke and let myself fall back a little to guide Naruto. It was probably a little strange to see a line of tiny ninja follow a seemingly oblivious older ninja. I glanced back at Naruto, sighing as I noticed him get distracted by a shop selling colored smoke bombs. 

I turned and grabbed his arm. 

“You’re too slow,” I huffed, turning back and trying to find Sasuke. “Oh great. Hold on, Naruto.” 

I crouched down and wrapped an arm around Naruto’s waist. The kid is ridiculously small. 

“Hold on Sa-chan, what are you doing?” Naruto asked nervously. 

I stood up and lifted Naruto over my shoulder. “You don’t weigh enough,” I muttered with narrowed eyes. I’d have to fix that. “Don’t fall.” I walked to the side of a building and hopped up to the rough, ignoring Naruto’s spluttering. 

“Tell me if I’m about to fall or something,” I instructed, keeping an eye out for Kakashi and Sasuke as I moved across the roofs. Naruto made himself comfortable on my shoulder. 

You’d think it’d be much easier to spot the Uchiha crest and a shock of silver hair than it’s turning out to be.

“There’s a gap between the next roof and this one,” Naruto pointed out, seemingly fascinated that I was running with his weight. 

“How far?”

“Uh…” 

I rolled my eyes and glanced at it, seeing a short distance. Maybe six feet at most. I hopped over to the next roof, snorting at Naruto’s little ‘eep!’. Still no sign of Sasuke and Kakashi. I slowed to a stop and put Naruto down. 

“Woah, dizzy,” he complained. 

“Alright Naruto, keep an eye out for Kakashi. Knowing that asshole, he probably told Sasuke to transform into some random civvy to punish us for falling behind.”

Naruto’s expression soured. “Sorry, Sakura.”

I waved him away, trying to see if I could spot anything familiar. “Not your fault.”

“What are we looking for?” 

“Two of the same civilians, for now. Or maybe Sasuke and Kakashi with different hair colors. I don’t know.”

Naruto squinted down at the crowd. “Like that?” He pointed at someone with mousy brown hair in Sasuke’s distinctive style. 

Never thought I’d see the day I would be thankful for Sasuke’s ugly haircut. 

“Good eye, Naruto,” I praised, hopping off the roof. Naruto followed me shortly.

I looked around the area Sasuke was walking around and didn’t see Kakashi. I walked faster and pulled Sasuke into an alleyway, turning him to face me. 

“What the fuck?” I asked, slack-jawed. 

Buckteeth. 

No way in hell Sasuke would lower himself to doing that. I’m willing to bet this is a Kakashi clone. Naruto started cackling behind me.

“Alright, where are you and Sasuke?” I hissed, pushing the clone against the wall. 

“I-i-i what?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb.” I took a kunai out of my pouch and held it at the clone’s throat. “Where are you two?” 

I ignored Naruto’s weak protests. Excessive? Maybe. 

The clone smirked. “Not telling~”

“Naruto, get up to the roof and keep an eye out for anyone who acts weird.”

“Aye aye, Sa-chan,” he saluted lazily. 

“Oh my, is it just you and me now?” The clone gasped in mock surprise. 

“No. Just me.” 

I shoved my knee up violently and enjoyed the shriek that came out of the clone’s mouth before it exploded in a puff of smoke. I pocketed the kunai and turned to face the building Naruto went up. 

“I think I found him!” Naruto shouted. 

“Pursue! I’m right on your tail.” I enhanced my body with chakra to leap up onto the roof and carry me to Naruto’s position. 

Naruto jumped down from the roof, his eyes intent on someone with dark brown hair and a large nose. He missed landing on him and started chasing him. I ran further on the roof before jumping down, intent on kicking Kakashi’s stupid face. 

He looked up at me, seamlessly transforming into Mother Haruno. 

“Sakura,” she gasped. “Dear, what are you-” 

I watched in satisfaction as Kakashi’s transformation melted away as I stomped his forehead. Unsurprisingly, Kakashi grabbed my ankle and threw me off him. I fed the inertia into a flip so I could land safely. Sasuke undid his own transformation, having been some kid with red hair. 

“I can’t believe you did that to your own mother,” Kakashi hissed, patting his forehead protector. 

I rolled my eyes at him. “As if she would ever be this deep into shinobi territory. Not to mention I saw you transform into her, you idiot.”

“Most people still pause,” he grouched. 

Yeah, well most people like their parents. 

Naruto vibrated from beside me, his hands clenched as tightly as his grin. “That was so cool!” He exploded, bouncing on his heels. “You just fell out of the sky and went BAM!” 

I patted his head once before turning to Kakashi. “Now, will you lead us properly or should we have a repeat of this?” 

“Cheeky brat,” he grumbled. “Everyone said genin were scared and cowardly, but nooo. I just had to get the team of weirdos.” He almost seemed to be sulking.

“Birds of a feather, and all that,” I said dryly, making sure Naruto kept pace with us. 

“Why aren’t you guys cute? Everyone else got cute genin,” he continued to complain as he navigated us through the village. 

Oh, go cry about it. We could have gotten a good sensei, but no. We have a whiner. In another world, someone is gauging what we know and making a training program with that information for us. 

“Here we are!” Kakashi chirped. “Good ol’ punishment wall.” 

Kakashi strode to the wall casually, pressing his hand against a small seal painted on it. I raised a brow as a rickety ladder popped out from it. 

“Up up,” Kakashi urged with a wave of his hand. 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to stop myself from yelling at him. We are not dogs, but it was evident that he would be treating us as such. I was the first to scale the ladder, if only to escape him for a moment. I squinted at the length of the village’s walls (of course they surrounded the whole damn thing) and mentally cursed Kakashi.

The likelihood of me running around this damn thing twenty five times was about as high as the possibility of me moving back into the Haruno house. I’d be surprised if Kakashi let us quit before we dropped. Stupid man child. 

Kakashi was suddenly behind us on the wall once Sasuke had climbed up. 

“Come on, come on,” he urged. “We certainly don’t have all day.” 

I’m going to spray his stupid mask with fart spray. Still, I set off at a moderate pace with a furious scowl on my face. I wouldn’t try to delude myself into thinking I could run the entire assignment, but I would certainly put in my best effort. That meant taking my time and going at a pace I could reasonably maintain. Naruto had shot off like a bullet the moment he was allowed. I grimaced, but wondered. Could he maintain that quick of a run? The answer couldn’t possibly be yes, but it probably also wasn't a no. 

Naruto’s proven one thing over the last two days. He has an insane amount of chakra and endurance. I wonder if that would translate into physical tasks too. If so, he’s got such an unfair advantage. Do you know what I could do with natural buffs like that? Probably blow a lot of shit up, that’s what. Actually, the more I think about it the more annoyed I get. 

Sakura was a civilian shinobi in a class chalk full of clan children. I’m not complaining (yes I am) or anything, but couldn’t I have been reborn as one of the ones with super powers if I had to be reborn at all? Maybe not the one with bugs in him though. Choji would have been awesome. Food is a treasure. I glanced at the village and felt my mood drop. Less than half way in the first lap. 

Fucking running. Ugh, this is so boring. 

I couldn’t tell you how much time passed when my knees started feeling like jelly. I was on lap ten and starting to struggle to catch my breath. When I tried to walk for a moment, Kakashi cheerfully appeared behind me and made me sprint the amount of time I’d been walking. Asshole. 

I was ready to give up my pride and drop dead on my fifteenth lap. Sasuke didn’t look much better. Naruto, that menace, still had a couple more laps in him. 

Kakashi didn’t let us stop until well after sunset. 

“Oh, would you look at the time,” he sighed, checking a watch he didn’t have on . “You all should have said something.”

I would shout if I had the energy, but even thinking of it made my lungs disintegrate. The boys were no better. Naruto was face down on the concrete, taking shuddering breaths in. Sasuke had too much of an ego to look as uncomfortable as us. 

“I suppose that’s all we have time for today,” Kakashi said regretfully. “Go home, then.” 

Fucking asshole. 

I’m going to find out where he lives and douse everything with fart spray. 

Chapter 8: Chapter Eight

Summary:

Woah if it isn’t the life of a genin

Notes:

Lmao I got covid

You have no fucking clue how sore I was when I woke up. It was like a truck had parked right on me while I was asleep. My mood was sour right off the bat, a fact that was in no way helped by the fact that I woke up at four in the morning. I must have cursed Kakashi’s lineage to high hell at least thirty times before I got out of bed. 

I, unhappily I’d like to stress, went through my morning habits. I showered, brushed my teeth, changed, and got money from my savings because I didn’t have time to do the shopping I had wanted to. Fuck that white haired shit stain. I had a life to live without him interrupting it with shoddy ‘teaching’ methods. 

The earliest to open shops typically did so at six am, which I still had an hour and a half to get to. I spent my time listing things I needed to buy and estimating how much money it would cost. If I had the time, I’d like to see if I could pick up any jobs before I had to be at the training grounds. It’s insane that obtaining a job has impeded my ability to earn cash. The only good thing was that I could start picking up solo D-ranks once I had a month’s experience as a genin. 

I should also hit the library for some self-study. Lord knows Kakashi’s not gonna put that kind of effort into us. 

Am I judging the guy too heavily? I don’t know, and more importantly, I don’t care. I’m stressed enough what with the money business and the fact that I have to kill people for a living. You’d think a village of this nature would offer a support class or two, but no. You just have to be cool with it. 

I waited for it to hit six am before I left the house. I did grocery shopping first, then house appliances, then breakfast. By then I only had so much left of the budget. I have to have shinobi grade clothes, but that costs a lot of money and I’m certainly not getting any through the job I’m supposed to have. I have one more clean set of the dress outfit, which means I definitely have to do laundry today no matter how tired I am. 

Getting shinobi clothes is going to be a couple of hours by itself, so I can only hold my tongue and hope Kakashi does an actual lesson plan today. What would that even look like? Would he focus on the basics, like feeling your chakra and commanding it through your body, or would he start with physical conditioning? I think I’d do a week of review and chakra exercises before moving onto physical training. 

I still had a good chunk of time (about an hour and some change) before I had to meet with my team, so I went over to the library. I wasted my time making hypothetical  training plans instead of learning anything new, so go me. Whatever, if I have to ditch Kakashi I won’t suffer for it. I hope. God, I hope he’s just hazing us. I hope he shows up on time one day and goes ‘you’ve passed the psychological conditioning, congratulations. Now we begin to train your bodies.’ 

Except less creepy. That last line sounds like a child molester about to commit a crime. I shook my head and put away any books I didn’t read before folding the notes I wrote and sticking them in the folds of my clothes. I could tempt the world and show up late again, but I didn’t like the idea of giving Kakashi the chance of showing up on time and punishing me for doing something a fraction as bad as he normally does. 

I ducked through the crowds, dodging any dull-yellow haired person I passed. Just in case. I’m not scared, okay? I just don’t want confrontation. Especially because it’ll either involve lots of yelling or tears from Mother Haruno. It’s perfectly reasonable, I’d say. I don’t have to worry as much about Papa Haruno. He’s the only other person in this damn village with pink hair, and even if he wasn’t, it’s an extremely memorable shade of pink. It’s dusty and dark with sun exposure. Plus it’s fucking star shaped. I think he did it once to make me (her) laugh, mildly succeeded, liked it, and kept it. 

I mean, more power to him. Considering how cut throat the civilian world is, I’m impressed he’s survived with it this long. You’d think Mother Haruno would have forced him to undo it. Maybe enough people like him that everyone just accepted it. I could totally see that. Father Haruno is exceptionally extroverted and welcoming, so I doubt anyone would even have the heart to make fun of him. 

I got to the training fields about twenty minutes before Kakashi would be three hours late. Of course Sasuke was there already, living it up under a tree. I said hi to him before I went further into the clearing and did a long session of full-body stretches. In my old life I never bothered with this stuff, but ninja. Always be prepared to jump through a five centimeter hoop to avoid death. Or something. I don’t know, it just seemed really important. 

On the disturbing side, I can now hook both my legs around my neck without having to use my arms. I don’t think I’ll ever need to do that in battle, but isn’t it great that I have the mobility to do it? Don’t answer, I’m trying not to think about the gross body distortion I’m able to do. As I do it. Ugh. I let my chakra flow with the stretch of my muscles as I moved, absentmindedly watching the clouds. Did you know that it snows in Konoha? 

It’s really been bugging me since my first winter here. The summers are hot, like upper nineties or thirties if you use celsius. The fall is in the eighties most of the time, maybe high sixties if you’re lucky. The winters are usually at a solid fifty degrees. So why snow? Now, I’m no scientist, but I think I learned that snow usually forms when it’s thirty degrees Fahrenheit in my handy dandy sixth grade science class. Those middle schoolers sure do seem to know everything, so certainly this information isn’t faulty. 

Spring here is really pretty. It’s kind of weird being in a place that actually experiences every season. I’m used to frostbite giving winters, ice cold falls, sort of cold springs, and mild summers. It took me a while to get used to the heat here, but it’s not that bad anymore. I think I’d be suffering a lot more if I didn’t read about temperature balancing chakra techniques. It’s really a cure-for-all sort of thing, isn’t it? Chakra’s kind of amazing. 

I mean, it can help and cause mental strain, it can speed the growth of shattered bones, it can cause those broken bones, it can become any fucking element, it can enhance your own abilities (including your indurance), and it can let you branch out into whole other dimensions. That’s insane. I’ve got no clue why there aren’t more mad scientists running around. If I had the patience and intelligence for it, I think I’d be trying to open up portals to hell. 

Oh, wait. I’m literally not from here. I rolled my eyes and I switched into another gruesome looking stretch. I should probably focus on getting back to my world. That raises a lot of problems though. Like, would I be returning to my own body or would I be going in as Sakura? Would Sakura’s immune system immediately get tanked by modern disease and crowded bacteria? If I go back as myself, would I be ejected into an already buried or destroyed corpse? Would introducing chakra to the modern world doom it? It’s really just not worth finding out. 

“Ewww, Sakura stop doing that.” The whine was particularly childlike in a way only one member of team seven could genuinely achieve. 

Naruto’s voice snapped me out of my daydream. I blinked and didn’t see him in front of me, so of course I bent backwards and twisted my body so my head wasn’t upside down. His face was appropriately terrified. I grinned at him and twisted back to a normal position before I hopped up to my feet. 

“Hey Naruto, what’s up?” I asked, dusting off my hands and wiping them on the stupid dress for extra measure. 

Woah I didn’t even think of that. This dress must look so hideous with my hair. Especially now that it’s cut so short. Pink and red are already iffy. What looks good with pink? Color theory, I beckon thee. Um… Okay, I don’t know color theory. Black and white look good with everything, right? Yellow and pink is a good combination too, right? Maybe dark green, but that might not look good with Sakura’s marble green eyes. 

Oh my lord, I never cared about clothes colors before. I ran a hand down my face and looked at Naruto, realizing I got lost in my thoughts. 

“Sorry bro, what was that?”

“Bro?” Naruto echoed, his face growing a little pale. 

“Naruto?” I waved my hand, hoping to snap him out of whatever trance he fell into. He didn’t respond. 

I shrugged and left back to the clearing Sasuke was boredly tossing shuriken around in. I plopped down onto the grass near him, absentmindedly tracking his throws. After a moment of silence I rummaged through my weapons pouch. 

“Bet you I can land more kunai in the center of your shuriken than you can.”

“What? No, that’s too small. The kunai literally wouldn’t fit,” He said in disbelief.  

I took out a pack of senbon and raised a brow at him. He stared at my hand for a while. 

Pussy. “Scaredy cat,” I snorted, slipping some senbon out of the pack. 

“Loser has to pay for lunch,” he declared, snatching the senbon out of my hands. 

I grinned at him. “Best out of ten?” 

“You’re on.” 

It ended up becoming best of sixty. The shuriken all had spiky death traps adjacent to them, at least four per shuriken. One had nine through it. 

“I’m feeling dumplings today,” I said smugly. 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “You only won because you aimed for the ones closer to us.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, to make it harder. You’d already hit them thrice by the time I decided to see how many I could stick through there.” 

“Oh sure. All I’m saying is that one of us got five in the furthest one and it certainly wasn’t you.”

“You fucking brat-“

“Now, who did this to the innocent trees?” Kakashi gasped, suddenly appearing on a branch and picking a senbon from across one of the shuriken. 

He looked off to the distance, looking vaguely disturbed. 

“And um… why is Naruto muttering about being an older and or younger brother?” 

I looked at Sasuke and shrugged. I watched curiously as Kakashi hopped down from the tree and went over to Naruto. How long had it been since that kid blinked? Kakashi picked Naruto up from under his arms and marched him over to us. 

“Huh, wha? Hey! Put me down!” He screeched. 

Kakashi shrugged, his eye curved shut. “No problem.”

I snorted as Naruto got dropped on his ass. 

“You two,” Kakashi turned to us. “Clean up this mess. Come on, get to it.”

Eh, fair is fair. I swung up into the trees, too bored to use chakra. It was cool but it was putting the world in easy mode. Swinging around is funner. Sasuke got the ones within arm’s reach. I debated throwing them at him, but what if I accidentally commit murder? And with an adult (allegedly) present? No thanks. 

When I finished getting the weapons from up high, I jumped down and separated the shuriken from the senbon. Sasuke was doing the same thing a little bit away from me. I tucked the senbon away before handing Sasuke's shuriken back to him. He nodded and gave me back my senbon. 

“Great!” Kakashi clapped his hands together once, urging us to stand by Naruto. “I want to see how you all fight. Sasuke and Naruto, I want you two to spar until one of you gives in or the other lands six hits in fatal areas. Sakura, watch and tell me what they do wrong and right.” 

That sounds like his job. Still, I held my tongue and leaned against a tree in annoyance. I zoned out halfway through their boring brawl, but it didn’t end up mattering because Kakashi was satisfied with my half-assed one line assessments. He pulled Sasuke away and told me to spar with Naruto. I vaguely heard him talking about Sasuke’s clan, which, ouch what a sore subject. 

I tried not to eavesdrop as I avoided Naruto’s wide swings. He really fights like he was raised on street fighting. It barely resembles anything that the academy taught us. I ducked under a high-up punch and sighed before kicking his back and watching him fall. 

“Naruto, you’ve got to stop aiming for my face. It’s making it way too easy to dodge,” I scolded. “You’re shorter than me, so use it to your advantage.” 

I helped him up and held him steady as I circled him. 

“Look, extend your arm.” 

He did so with confusion visible on his face. I moved in front of him to make my point. 

“At your normal height, your arm is a little below chest height for me. That’s not a bad place to hit, if you’re lucky it’ll knock the wind out of me. When you fight, you crouch down so you have better movement. That means you should always be aiming for the middle of my body. That way I’ll be forced to either jump back or pivot to the side. It becomes a lot easier to predict my movements when you limit them.” 

Naruto nodded, a serious expression on his face. He lowered his arm and gave a determined nod.

“Okay! I got it, Sakura.”

I nodded back and stepped away. “Oh, one more thing. If you can, you should use your legs more. While punching high is a no-go, kicking higher up could have its advantages.”

He nodded again and got into a ready position. I followed his example and gave a nod to confirm the start. As I imagined, it was harder to dodge Naruto and harder to get in a punch when he tried to hit me. I caught his foot inches away from my face and threw it off to the side. I smirked as Naruto cursed and hurried to get control of his body before he pulled a muscle.

I got in closer and forced Naruto into hand to hand, curious to see how long his attention span could keep him focused on one thing. He lasted a couple minutes before I managed to confuse him enough to deck his chin. His head snapped back and I jumped away to prevent any retaliation. 

“Great, good job. Let’s go,” Kakashi said cheerfully, placing a hand on Naruto’s forehead to stop his next move. 

“What? Where are we going?” I asked wearily. 

“Your first mission! Isn’t that exciting?” 

So he wasn’t even going to give us feedback? I mean, I guess he wasn’t watching anyway. 

“Mission! Mission! What are we doing? Chasing off some bandits? Going to fearlessly save the Daimyo?” Naruto chanted. 

Sasuke rolled his eyes from behind Kakashi, his arms crossed sourly. 

“So close! We’re going to-drum roll please-save someone’s yards from weeds!” 

“What?! That’s so boring!” Naruto whined. 

“Oh my!” Kakashi gasped primly, covering the area where his mouth should be with the tips of his finger. “You miss running that much? It’s only been a day, but I wouldn’t mind indulging you if-“

“No way! Let’s go get that D-rank!” 

Kakashi patted Naruto’s hair with a smile. “Good choice, Naruto.” 

He led us through the village, no shenanigans this time, and showed us where the mission’s desk was. It gave out D and some C rank missions whereas B rank and above were explicitly given by the Hokage himself. That seemed reasonable to me, though it did make me wonder just how time consuming the job is. 

True to Kakashi’s words, we spent an hour of our time weeding out some random person’s garden. I had to stop Naruto nearly every time he went to pull a plant out. I only caught Sasuke’s slip up twice, so he was at least better acquainted with plants. Kakashi, the notorious bag of dicks, simply hopped into a tree and read his porn. 

We took a few mow D-ranks from wealthy civilians before we inevitably got one assigned from someone I actually knew. My first worry was what they’d say about my hair, and more importantly, what they’d say to my parents. 

“Oh, have you accepted my D-rank?” Bashira, a woman I used to regularly babysit for, asked exhaustedly. 

She had her first kid a little bit before I became Sakura and had her second about five months ago. 

“Yes, this is my team of genin,” Kakashi said politely, the perfect example of an excellent person. 

Oh great, so he just hates us. 

“Hello,” Bashira tiredly turned to us. She squinted at me before gasping. “Sakura! Oh thank goodness, here, take Jiro. Hiroshi’s in the play pen and everything is still where it should be. I’m going to Chiaki-obaasan’s house for a few hours. I’ll be back by dinner time. Help yourselves to the food if you haven’t eaten lunch, alright dear? I like what you’ve done with your hair, it suits you so well. Thank you and your team so very much. Oh! Hiro ate an hour ago but Jiro hasn’t. His bottle’s in the fridge, just warm it up a little. Hiro’s not allowed any sweets before dinner, so fruit snacks only. Okay, thank you! I’ll be off.” 

I blinked owlishly, suddenly having my arms full of newborn. 

“Okay, no problem,” I echoed out into the air. 

The boys, including Kakashi, seemed just as surprised as me. Bashira was already down the street. 

“Well…” I trailed off. “Come on. Can’t leave a three year old without supervision.” 

I put Jiro on my hip and felt so thankful that I cut my hair. He loved sticking it in his mouth whenever I used to hold him. Naruto and Sasuke followed me through the house uncertainly. Kakashi, on the other hand, found the couch and made it his home. 

I looked behind me and scoffed. “One of you go close the door.”

They glanced at each other before both rushing for it. 

“You doing one task isn’t going to stop you from doing anything else on this mission,” I said through clenched teeth. “In fact, one of you is going to fetch the bottle and warm it. I hope I don’t have to explain how.”

Kakashi giggled from the couch as Naruto scrambled to the kitchen. I glared at the sorry excuse of a teacher too. 

“And you,” I hissed. “How dare you read porn while we’re watching children?”

He waved his hand. “Maa, it’s fine. That one doesn’t know how to read,” he drawled. 

I took a deep breath. “Hiroshi!” 

Sasuke took the time to scuttle into the kitchen and hide with Naruto. My eyes flickered up in annoyance. They’re just kids, not a fucking disease. 

“Nee-san?!” A high pitched voice called from deeper in the house. 

I bounced Jiro a bit to settle him from my shouting. I heard Hiroshi’s feet pitter patter down the hall.

“Nee-san!” He squealed, rushing up to me and throwing his arms around my legs (well, at least one of them). 

“Hiroshi!” I grinned. “Look at you! You got so big, bud! Dang, you must be six inches taller.”

I ruffled his wispy sand-colored hair as Hiro giggled and tightened his grip around my thigh. 

“Mhm! I’s been gettin’ bigger an’ so mama’s been teaching me big kid things!”

“Oh really?” I hummed. “What kinda things?” 

“Um, my letters!” 

“Oh wow! Are you learning how to read, Hiro?” I full body turned to Kakashi, purposely lifting Hiroshi with me. 

He giggled some more before nodding. “Yeah! Like… um…” he looked around the room before spotting the book in Kakashi’s hands and squinting at it. 

Kakashi paled. The book disappeared in the blink of an eye. I lifted a brow, mildly impressed. I didn’t even see his hands move. 

I patted his shoulder in consolation as his eyes widened in confusion. “How about you bring me a book or two, alright little dude? I’d love if you could read one to me.”

He nodded, an excited smile reaching his face as he craned his neck back to look at me. He gasped. 

“Saku! Your hair!”

Of course his r’s were more like w’s making it all the cuter. I pinched his cheek, resisting the urge to put Jiro down and hug the life out of him. 

“I know! Isn’t it so cool? That way you can really see my headband!” I dramatically turned my head, lifted it up, closed my eyes and gestured to the headband with an open palm. 

“Woah! You’re a ninja?!” He leaned past my legs to stare at Kakashi again. “Is that your sensei?!”

I chuckled a bit. “Yes indeed! You know my teammates are in the kitchen. Why don’t you get a book to read to all of us?”

He bounced on the tips of his toes excitedly before nodding. “Be right back!” 

I watched him run off to his room before I hiked Jiro up higher on my hip and turned to the kitchen. Really, what was taking these idiots so long? I walked in to see Naruto and Sasuke arguing over a bubbling pot of something. 

“What are you dumbasses doing?” I sighed in annoyance. 

“Sasuke won’t let me cook!” Naruto whined.

“Do you know how to?” I asked dryly. “I was under the impression that you lived and breathed instant ramen.”

He spluttered, his face turning a little red as Sasuke gained a smug little smirk. 

“I’m assuming that’s rice? You need to cover it and lower the flame before it burns, Sasuke.”

His smirk slipped off his face as he hurried to look at the rice that was, indeed, about to boil over. Jiro fussed from my hip, quiet little mewls escaping his mouth. I pet his head and rubbed soothing circles on the baby’s back before I continued to supervise Sasuke. 

“Naruto, get the bottle from the fridge,” I instructed, keeping an eye on Sasuke as he cut up some vegetables. Really, I asked them to do one thing and they do something completely unrelated. 

“This one, Sakura?” Naruto asked, holding a glass bottle out of the fridge. 

“Probably,” I shrugged. “Is it plastic or glass?” 

“Um, plastic?” 

“Cool. Put it in the microwave for thirty five seconds then bring it to me. I’ll be in the living room.”

“Okay!” 

I was getting tired of carrying Jiro around, but I was hesitant to put him anywhere. Hiroshi came trotting back with three books in his chubby hands. He plopped down onto the carpet in front of me and patted it expectantly. I smiled indulgently before taking Jiro off my hip and holding him out in front of me before bonelessly sitting and placing him in my lap. 

Naruto came out a little later with the bottle of milk. I held my hand out expectantly and dabbed a bit of milk onto my arm when I got it. It was a decent temperature.

“Great. Go see what Sasuke’s doing and tell me.”

Jiro stared at me with curious gray eyes. He was immediately distracted by the bottle when I offered it to him. 

“Which book should I read first?” Hiro asked excitedly. 

“Which one’s your favorite?”

Hiroshi excitedly showed off a book about salamanders while Naruto came over and whispered what Sasuke was up to. I nodded at him and appropriately oohed and awed at Hiro’s books. 

“Go to the bathroom on the right hand side of the hall, Naru. The mirror doubles as a medicine cabinet and has a stack of light purple cloth towels in it. Bring me one.”

Naruto nodded and disappeared down the hall while Hiroshi showed me a book about a fisherman who caught the biggest fish known to Fire Country. Jiro was quickly downing his bottle, which was a little disturbing. When Naruto came back, I slung the purple towel over my shoulder in preparation to burp Jiro. 

Naruto sat down next to me and settled in for Hiro’s story time. Sasuke finished the food when Hiroshi was preparing to start his second story. We took a food break and a diaper change break, which I made Naruto and Sasuke help with. They’re both so dramatic, honestly. They’re lucky Hiroshi is fully potty trained, otherwise I’d have made them help him. 

We washed our hands and returned to story time, pretending not to notice as Kakashi came up with different ways of hiding his book cover. The rest of the babysitting ‘mission’ was thankfully as easy as the start of it. Hiroshi was a good kid, and Naruto was surprisingly really good at entertaining him, so the time went by smoothly. Sasuke even cut up some oranges for him. It was entirely too domestic. 

Bashira came back at around six pm. She looked significantly less stressed than before, so I guess whatever burden she brought to her husband’s mother was lifted. 

“Thank you all very much,” she bowed shortly. “I hope the boys behaved themselves.” 

I nodded, watching Hiroshi run up to his mother and start babbling about his evening. Before I could say anything, Kakashi swept in and overtook the conversation. 

“They were perfect angels, Umeda-san. Your children are very well behaved.” 

Jiro helpfully rolled over on the carpet from behind him and started gumming on one of Hiro’s books. I looked at him and shrugged. I’m not on the clock anymore. 

Bashira smiled proudly and patted her son’s head. “Thank you very much. I’m sorry I left in such a rush. I didn’t even ask your names!” 

He chuckled warmly. “Hatake Kakashi, ma’am. This is my team; team seven. Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, and of course you know Sakura.”

Jesus Christ, that man is so fake. God, if you’re listening, please make gum get stuck in that man’s hair. As retribution, of course. 

Bashira nodded gratefully. “Thank you all again. Here’s your payment.”

Kakashi accepted the money gracefully and ushered us out of her home. I waved goodbye to her and the kids before following my team out of her home. 

Kakashi added the money to a large pile we’d earned throughout the day and split it somehow into three perfect piles. Honestly, what? Who has that random ass skill? Apparently this guy. He handed us each the money, having been paid separately and at the beginning of the missions as a sensei. 

“Good job team,” he praised shallowly before he poofed away in a cloud of smoke. 

“I think he’s a hermit,” I said sagely. 

The boys nodded, each holding onto a wad of cash. I stuffed mine in one of my pouches and put my hands on my hips. 

“Let’s go get dinner. Someone owes me dumplings.” 

Sasuke grumbled, but still followed Naruto and I. All in all, not too bad for our first day of d-ranks. I enjoyed dinner with the guys and got a chance to get a few temporary outfits for shinobi training. It isn’t anything fancy, just a couple of navy-blue sleeveless shirts and some black spandex shorts. It’ll have to do for now. 

I unenthusiastically went home to put them away and to wash my clothes. Things seemed to start leveling out. With a content hum, I went through my chores.

Notes:

Is there anything you guys wanna see before I send them off on their C-rank next chapter?

Chapter 9: Chapter Nine

Summary:

Woah they finally get to do their first C-rank

Two months later had us following more or less of the same routine. We did about an hour of sparring and then a few hours of D-ranks. It got to the point where I started leading after-work training. Kakashi was an incredibly ineffective teacher. A week after we started d-ranks I started teaching the boys how to walk on water. Tree walking had taken them two days under my watch and who knows how much self practice, but water walking took them about a week to master. 

After that I started researching ways to actually improve hand to hand combat and different types of taijutsu style. I accidentally veered off into chakra again, though. I wasn’t sure if there was anything higher than water walking (I don’t know what it would be, maybe quick sand walking or something) and ended up reading a small excerpt about chakra paper. It reminded me about the first day I was Sakura and made me wonder if I should just teach them ninjutsu. 

It didn’t sound like a good idea, but I did it anyway. And by ‘did it’ I mean I bought three sheets of chakra paper for 600 yen. Not a cheap purchase, I’m sure my wallet didn’t appreciate it. It’s too late though. The results were all over the board. Sasuke’s strongest affinity was lightning, though his paper also turned to ash after it scrunched up, so he also had some power over fire. Naruto’s cut cleanly down the middle, indicating an affinity to wind chakra. Mine got soggy before turning a bit muddy, so I can only assume I have water and earth affinities. 

Naruto sulked at being the only one with one affinity. I told him to suck a lemon and be happy with his huge amount of chakra. I took them to the library with me to read up on basic jutsu for all of our affinities. Sasuke was already pretty good with fire, so he found a low grade lightning technique to work with. We, evidently, stole an E-rank jutsu from Cloud called the Flickering Light Technique that causes you to physically glow. 

Naruto is starting off with Wind Levitation, another E rank. He’s been practicing with cups of ramen, because of course he has. He’s trying to be able to make it from a distance, but when he tried to pick up a kettle with the jutsu, it instantly fell and crashed on his forehead. He’s just lucky it didn’t have any water in it. The ramen cups only flew up with the jet of air he made ⅓ of the time after a solid two weeks of practice. 

I debated between water and earth for a while before deciding that water was more interesting as far as techniques could go. I was starting, surprise surprise, an E rank technique simply named Water Mirror. It took us all a month to accomplish our jutsu, and by then Kakashi had started taking up almost the entire day with D-ranks. 

Honestly it’s like he’s trying to set a record for most d-ranks by a fresh team of genin. We lasted all of three weeks before Naruto snapped. 

“That’s it!” He screeched, his face filling with an unholy amount of rage. “No more collecting potatoes! No more babysitting snot nosed brats! No more chasing cats! I want a real mission!” 

As nice as the financial security was, I could agree to being dreadfully bored. 

“Hmmm,” Kakashi had stared at him from over the top of his book. He squinted his eye at Naruto, subtly inching closer and closer until he snapped his book shut and straightened back up. “Okay,” he decided with a shrug. 

“Wait. Just like that?” I asked in disbelief. 

“Just like that,” he shrugged again. “Let’s go to the Hokage’s office.” 

Sasuke walked behind me and put a hand on my shoulder before he bent down slightly. 

“Don’t question it,” he whispered harshly. “Just go. Don’t fight him, Sakura. It’s not worth it.” 

“Hmph. Fine,” I whispered back. “Now back up. I can feel your breath and it’s gross.” 

Sasuke audibly rolled his eyes (don’t ask, I can sense his sass) and took a step back. The walk to the Hokage’s tower was silent, but it was a sort of hopeful silence. I threw up a genjutsu of a lamp post in front of Kakashi just for the hell of it when we were close to the tower. He walked through it and glanced at me from the corner of his eye. 

I staunchly looked forward and pretended I had no idea he was looking at me. He looked back at the pole, then at me. I firmly didn’t glance at him. Then I smacked face first into a pole. 

I hissed and cradled my nose, glaring accusatively at Kakashi.  He whistled and kept his eyes on his book. A fucking notice-me-not genjutsu. Clever bastard. I did the same thing to a distant piece of gum and watched happily as Kakashi stepped in it. It’s the small victories in life. I was saved from retribution by entering the Hokage Tower. 

Kakashi seemed peeved as he spoke to the secretary, but Naruto and Sasuke looked clueless as to why. I had to stop myself from letting out a victory smirk. It was Mizuki all over again, except Kakashi was allowed to mildly hurt me or severely hurt me in the name of training. It’s honestly not that big of a deal, I’ll bounce back. 

That’s the beautiful thing about being physically twelve going on thirteen. I could jump down a cliff and survive. I’d probably walk it off in a week. I wouldn’t test that theory though. We marched up the stairs (Naruto was dutifully chanting mission, mission under his breath the whole time) and waited for the Hokage to say we were allowed into his office. It was kind of nerve wracking, yet completely… I can’t even describe it. 

It’s like meeting a president, but at the same time, that president has never once made a public appearance so you’re not really sure if he even knows he’s the president. It didn’t help that the Hokage was supposed to be, like, seventy years old. Sure, most US presidents followed the same pattern, but it didn’t make it normal to me. I was firmly in the belief that the max age a US president should be is 65. They should live a happy retirement after that. 

Eh, none of that matters now. Except my opinion branches out to different political seats. The Hokage was in his seventies and his personal council were all similarly aged. How could they possibly make good decisions for the village when they never leave the office or their cushy homes? I don’t think the Hokage has passed a bill (is that what it’s called here?) since shortly after the last war ended. 

“Come on,” Sasuke sighed, pushing me through the door. 

I need to stop spacing out in the middle of important moments. I swatted Sasuke’s hands away and went to stand next to Naruto. 

“Ah, Team Seven,” the Hokage greeted warmly. 

Which… what? Why’s he playing grandpa right now? I expected a neutral political powerhouse, not somebody’s loving relative. 

“How have you enjoyed being a genin so far, Naruto? And Kakashi, how has teaching been?” 

What? He knows Naruto. Like knows knows Naruto. Presumably I can say the same thing about Kakashi. This is weird. Wait a minute. Is that Iruka? What? 

“It’s boring!” Naruto wailed. “All we do is chores! Well, not anymore, old man! I want something better.”

My mouth fell open in shock. What the fuck?! Oh my God, we’re going to die. We’re going to be sentenced to the gallows because Naruto disrespected the high ruler. 

All the Hokage did was chuckle. In fact, it was Iruka that went straight to yelling and scolding Naruto. I only sort of remembered to close my mouth and stare in shock at the scene. Kakashi, still with his book mind you, just shrugged and gestured at Naruto. 

“The kid wants a C-rank.” 

Is everyone here insane?! You can’t just demand things like that! 

“Oh?” The Hokage said in amusement. “And do you think your team is ready?” 

“What?! You can’t be serious!” Iruka said, voicing my thoughts perfectly. 

“I do,” Kakashi chuckled. “They’ve completed the required amount of D-ranks.”

Is that seriously his criteria?! We’re going to die. I looked at Sasuke and tried to get my absolute horror across without words. He glanced at me with a grimace and a pinched look on his face. It seemed the room was split half way. Three insane weirdos and three people who know better. 

“There you have it, jiji!” Naruto shouted haughtily. “Now, what do you got?” 

Jiji. Naruto is this dude’s grandson?! No. No fucking way. I’m going to pass out. I think I'm having a stroke, actually. Is anyone else really hot? 

“Hmm. Well, we just had a C-rank dropped off today.”

Wait a minute. Why are we even here?! C-ranks can be given by the same place we get our D-ranks! My brain is melting. 

“Alright then,” the Hokage nodded. “I’m assigning Team Seven to this mission.” 

Kakashi got the scroll from the Hokage’s desk and gave it a glancing read. 

“Oh fun. An escort mission.”

“Indeed. Iruka, could you please bring Tazuna in?” 

Iruka did so, looking quite unhappy as he did it. He returned pretty quickly with a clearly drunk out of his mind man. I scrunched my nose in distaste before I remembered I have to be professional. This entire day was derailed the second Naruto complained. I blame him entirely for my growing migraine. 

“What?” The man grunted. “Am I supposed to expect a bunch of babies to escort me? That one’s tiny.” 

I narrowed my eyes at him, a mean smile on my face. I had half the mind to tell him off when Kakashi put a hand on my head and smiled at him. I could see him do the same to Naruto out of the corner of my eye. 

“I assure you, this team is very qualified for the mission. At any rate, I’m a jonin and can handle a simple escort mission.” 

Thanks for the token of confidence, instructor mine. Tazuna huffed, not looking satiated. 

“Would you prefer to leave tonight or tomorrow morning?” Kakashi asked. 

“Hmph. Might as well wait until morning. I’ve got places to be.”

Yeah, like a bar? I don’t mind alcohol, but this guy reeks of it. It’s not a good look. Tazuna left with one last scathing look, leaving us alone with the Hokage. 

“Well, you heard the man. We’ll be escorting him to Wave Country, so pack for about a week. Go on now. Shoo.” He waved his hands towards the door. 

I sighed out loud and sent a silent prayer for patience before I dragged Naruto and Sasuke out with me. 

“Aren’t they so well behaved?” Kakashi sighed mockingly. 

I rolled my eyes and closed the door before I decided to do something stupid. 

“Alright. Do either of you need to do some shopping? I’m going to buy warmer clothes and something to protect against rain. Probably some closed toe shoes too. I also need to buy rations, since we can’t exactly bring fresh food.” 

Sasuke simply shook his head while Naruto complained that that was too much effort. I huffed and split from them. Children . They could pretend to be adults all they wanted, but a murder badge clearly didn’t make you mature. Not that I could claim as much anymore. I could hardly remember anything past my early twenties. So much beer, so little sleep. Good times. 

I went to the shinobi district and entered an unassuming shop with standard gear in its display windows. I zeroed in on the boots first, curiously comparing the prices to other shoes. The standard shinobi sandal came in blue and black while the boots came exclusively in black. You could custom order them in blue, but I doubt many people did. The boots came in two models. One with open toes and reinforced shin guards, and the other with steel toes concealed under leather and heavy soles. 

Obviously I got the ones that can shatter someone’s bones with a solid kick. I wandered over to the clothing section and stared in wonder at the mesh armor. Did it have any real purpose? I couldn’t imagine it stopping a stab, but maybe it would stop grazes. I moved over to the long sleeved shirts and took a few blue and navy blue ones. Aside from that, I grabbed a few sleeveless black shirts and a red one just for the sake of it. 

I moved onto pants next. I prefer to wear shorts, but I couldn’t exactly do that in unfamiliar terrain. My paranoia just wouldn’t allow it. I grabbed two navy blue pants, three gray ones, and one black pair. I grabbed a civilian styled weatherproof zip up jacket after some deliberation. My mother would yell at me if I left the house without a sweater, so I can only imagine what she’d do if I left the country without one. 

I probably wouldn't take all of what I bought, but it’s good to have extra clothes. I moved on from the store after paying for my things and made my way to another shop to buy some ration bars. They were awfully dry and chalk-like, but until someone created something better, it’s what we had. I bought a few packets of dry meat and fruit too, just for some variety. Do I have a travel pack? Probably not. I barely have anything outside the necessary in my apartment. 

I really should go furniture shopping. All I bought in terms of that was a carpet for the living room and some easily sustained plants for the balcony. I’ll do it after this mission, if I have the funds for it. It’s a good thing credit doesn’t exist here, otherwise I’d have gone crazy with it and lived to regret it. I went back to the shinobi clothing store to get a travel pack and a vial of blood and chakra pills. 

Probably overkill, but hey. Better safe than sorry. I finally got around to getting a better weapon’s pouch, too. The academy given one was decent for training, but I needed more for an actual battle. I wouldn’t feel comfortable until I had at least double what I owned now. 

I chose a dusty orange-brown pack that wrapped around my thigh about half way on each side. It was big enough to store a first aid kit in, which was a fantastic thing I hadn’t even thought of. I’d really slacked off with medical ninjutsu and anything in the same branch. I’d have to remedy that when we got back. Actually, I can probably find something in the giant collection of books in my apartment. I’ll just take one for the road. 

I went home to pack and spent the rest of the day brushing up on some basic first aid and such. I practiced stitching up on clothes that didn’t fit me anymore and at one point a banana. I got bored. I called the medical sutures off and made dinner for myself, if only to keep my cooking skills sharp. I breaded and fried a chicken breast, made rice, and made garlic stir fried broccoli and snap peas. It was a good dinner. 

I drank tea and got my cleaning done so all that would greet me when I came back would be a layer of dust. I moved everything that could go bad in a week from my fridge into the freezer and watered the plants before showering with scent blocking products and settling in for the night. I needed to be well rested for this. Something about it raised alarm bells in my mind, but I can’t tell if it’s because we’re leaving the village for the first time, my blatant distrust of Kakashi, or my immediate dislike of Tazuna. It could be any of those, really. 

I took my sweet time getting ready in the morning. I needed to make sure I had everything I could possibly need in that pack. It’s only a shame that guns just don’t exist here. Well, technically they did, but they were elemental jutsu guns. More like a metaphorical canon. I could really use a steel, gunpowder powered, old fashioned weapon of mass destruction. Just to make me feel better about this whole thing. 

Honestly, I think some of my verses came from my lack of defense. I wish I had a jacket like Kakashi’s, if anything. It reminded me of a bullet proof vest, and damn if I didn’t feel like I was in a bomb squad right now. 

I scratched and picked around my fingers while I tried to rationalize everything. It would be fine. We’re not doing anything dangerous, just escorting some guy back to his village. He doesn’t want to run into bandits. Most of them are deterred by shinobi anyway. The chances of having an actual confrontation is very minimal. I’ve got nothing to worry about, much less fear. 

I sighed and stopped picking at my skin when it threatened to bleed. I went to make breakfast and kept my mind off of the mission as long as I could. Right now, I was just a dude in his apartment about to eat food and brush his teeth. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m definitely not a licensed-to-kill super agent. I focused on cleaning some shrimp and bell pepper, careful to cut the peppers in even slices. 

I reheated the left over rice from yesterday in the microwave and tossed the shrimp and peppers into a pan to cook together. I added spices absentmindedly, focusing more on the smell in the air than anything I was really doing. I finished cooking and set the kettle to heat up yesterday’s tea. 

I suck at shutting things out. My anxiety had turned into lead instead of thoughts, and it sunk in my stomach uncomfortably. It was hard to eat. Is this level of stress normal? God, and here I was saying I was ready for this. How could anybody be? The prospect of having to get into life or death situations was fucking stressful. I rubbed my temples and sighed. 

Let’s look at the facts. 

This escort mission was to Wave Country. Wave Country would take three days to walk to and three days to return from. The country is modestly growing and said to be a potential hotspot for international trade, which means more civilians would be looking to migrate into it for business prospects. It would, theoretically, mean that bandits would be weary of traversing the paths leading to Wave if only because of the density of civilians. 

All of that was a big if though, and I didn’t enjoy putting that up to the chance of civilians actually moving in now. I’d have to ask Tazuna, if the man is willing to answer. Hopefully Kakashi would expand on what the mission parameters are. I might lose my shit if he doesn’t. I groaned and went to wash my dishes before brushing my teeth. 

Why do I have to overthink this dumb thing. It’s just a security job. So then why does it give off such a bad vibe? I’ve just got this feeling, and I don’t know if it’s irrational or not. I washed my face and took a deep breath after drying it. I’m just too in my head about this whole thing. I need to stop freaking myself out and stay objective. At most we’ll have to fight some brawlers. 

I probably don’t have to go in for the kill. Incapacitating then should be enough. Then it can be up to Kakashi on what’s done with them. I ran a hand through my hair and picked up my backpack. There’s no avoiding what must be done. A job is a job, after all. 

I did a final sweep through of the house and made sure every window and necessary door was locked before I made my way to the front gates. I could feel my surprise physically crawl up my stomach as I stared at the shock of silver hair I’d come to associate with Kakashi. 

“Who died to get you here on time?” I asked instinctively. 

“Rude,” Kakashi commented, idly turning a page in his book. “I’ll have you know that I hold an excellent track record with missions.” 

I raised a brow at him, entirely doubtful. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, man.”

He, in turn, raised a brow at me and went back to reading. I went over to Sasuke and looked at him questioningly. 

“Did you pack well?” 

He shrugged, looking bored. “Probably.” 

I shrugged back. “How much you wanna bet that Naruto packed mostly instant ramen?” 

“That’s not a bet, that’s a fact.”

Eh, true enough. I climbed into a tree and pulled out a book explaining the basics of iryo ninjutsu, content to pass the time with it. It was a while before Naruto showed up, clearly tired and yawning every other minute. I’ve got no clue how much time passed once Tazuna finally deigned to show up, but it had to be at least a half hour. I bookmarked my page and tucked it back into my backpack, wordlessly hopping out the tree. 

“Well, it seems like we’re all here,” Kakashi said with a jovial smile. “Let’s get a move on.” 

Tazuna had grumbled and promptly took a swig from his flask. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen such a chronic alcoholic, honestly. Naruto was a ball of energy as soon as we crossed the village walls. His previous tiredness was pretty much forgotten, something that was starting to slowly grate on my nerves. 

I tuned out his cheering and chanting, idly walking along. This was, undoubtedly, going to be very boring. I tried, and failed, to convince Sasuke to play rock paper scissors with me. I’d resorted to kicking rocks around. 

Now, my boredom is what led us to this moment of absolute chaos. I was just casually stomping around when I saw a puddle. My mind didn’t hesitate to make me stomp it. Before Kakashi could scold me, two mother fucking people came out of it. 

My involuntary scream of horror was all too evident as I immediately started kicking the ever living shit out of the one that tried to grab me. Then I remembered I owned sharp shit and took a kunai and fucking cut his hand off. 

I immediately went into fight or flight mode and jumped back, watching in silent horror as the other assailant wrapped Kakashi in chains. Holy shit. I looked away as I heard the first sign of crunching bones and torn flesh, my eyes meeting the other man who I’d just crippled. He threw his own weapon outwards towards us. It missed me but dug into Naruto’s hand, earning a hiss from the boy. I pushed Naruto and Tazuna back, falling back into protocol. We had to protect him, so one of us should stay with the client at all times. Naruto had the most chakra and therefore had the best chance of defense, plus he was injured and couldn’t fight hand to hand. 

Sasuke started blowing out fireballs and pushing the two bandits (ninja?) away. One of them, the one whose hand I cut off, ducked underneath Sasuke’s jutsu and rushed me. I felt my breath catch, horror dawning on me. I can’t freeze up, I can’t. I clutched a kunai tightly in my hand and dodged to the left, vaguely dodging the mace he threw out. 

I could feel my heart beating as I bent backwards so his punch wouldn’t land. I used my momentum to spring backwards and to the right, getting some distance between me and Tazuna. I tried to ignore the blood falling freely onto the ground and simply held gratitude that it wasn’t mine. I threw my kunai at the guy in front of me and quickly started making the hand signs to whatever genjutsu I could remember. 

I watched in fear as my opponent stumbled and clasped his hands over his ears before I remembered to keep going. I threw genjutsu after genjutsu on him, from the initial screeching in his ears to an illusion of me sucker punching him. I watched him stumble back and shake his head before I decided to rush him and actually kick his stomach in. He crashed into his partner and I stumbled back to Tazuna, calming my shaking hands with the thought of having to survive. 

I winced as the other culprit threw his partner off him and hissed some scathing words at him before gesturing towards us, or more importantly, Tazuna. I went through the hand signs for the hell viewing technique and hoped that whatever they saw would be enough to stop them from cutting through Sasuke. 

I watched in horror as both of their weapons aimed for my teammate, my genjutsu ensnaring them a moment too late. Their eyes glazed over and their arms dropped to their side, but it wouldn’t stop the momentum of their weapons. Sasuke had clearly spammed out too many fireballs. He stumbled back, his face ashen. 

I wondered what was going through his mind and if any of it was similar to what was going through mine. I faced severe whiplash for the second time when a pale arm easily caught the chains and tangled them around his fist. I was relieved to see Kakashi, but that relief quickly succumbed to absolute rage. He was alive this whole time?! And he just… just left us to deal with this on our own! 

I’ve never wanted to rip him a new one more than I did at this moment. I hurried over to Sasuke as the two I’d put under a genjutsu snapped out of it. I brought him over to Tazuna with me and put a hand on his and Naruto’s shoulder, tightening my grip as I narrowed my eyes at Kakashi and the two who decided to ambush us. 

The one that had targeted me looked pale and garish. His remaining hand clenched over the stump of his left, doing nearly nothing to stop his blood from spilling into the dirt. His face was blotchy with newly set bruises from where I’d shoved my shoe in. His lip was bleeding sluggishly, as was his nose. Serves him right for attacking a child. 

I scowled at the scene before me, even as my stress was lifted by Kakashi apprehending the two. 

“Sakura, your nails hurt,” Naruto winced. 

My scowl dropped and I immediately took my hands off the boys. “Sorry. Just annoyed.”

Sasuke scoffed slightly, still shaken but not nearly as unsettled. “Right. Annoyed.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We all heard your scream at the beginning,” he shot back at me, some color returning to his face. 

“Uh, duh,” I rolled my eyes. “A hand made of water and then suddenly made of human wrapped itself around my ankle, jackass.”

“Yeah, that hand is still over there,” he pointed, resolutely not looking at it. 

I glanced at it and winced as I was met with pale purple hues, chalk-white finger tips, and stained dirt. “Yeah, whatever.” 

And that was that. We watched as Kakashi interrogated the men, a pair of missing nin brothers, and managed to get the name of their employer. Apparently some shady businessman named Gato had sent them after Tazuna. 

I pinched the bridge of my nose and hoped to god that this man wasn’t as stupid as I think he is. He spent the next fifteen or so minutes pleading his case and detailing the level of poverty his village had hit to justify his choice. Kakashi cut him off when he started repeating information. 

“Naruto, give me your hand. Their weapons were poisoned.” 

My eyes snapped open. What?! Why would he wait that long to fucking say something?! Naruto, appropriately, freaked the hell out. 

“We’ll have to go back to the village to get this looked at,” Kakashi continued casually as he showed the blue lines extending from the back of Naruto’s hand. 

And then he fucking stabbed himself. 

I crouched and put my head on my knees, groaning. Idiots. All of them are idiots. I repeated this phrase in my head like a mantra all through Naruto’s self-sacrificial speech. He went on and on about how it was right for us to continue the mission because clearly Wave was suffering oh so much. Sasuke had wandered over to me, seemingly nodding along. I’ve got no clue if it was in agreement to Naruto’s passionate speech or my continued muttering of ‘fucking idiots’. 

“And isn’t it our duty as shinobi to help those in need?!” Naruto finished his speech, finally taking that god forsaken kunai out of his hand. 

I had the strongest urge to cry and/or hit someone. I rubbed my eyes and tried to ignore the massive headache I’d gotten, instead looking around. Kakashi looked aloof as ever, but Tazuna was blatantly hopeful and desperate. I glanced up at Sasuke and groaned in annoyance. He agreed with Naruto. 

“Hmm. I’m not sure. Sasuke, Sakura. What do you two think?” 

“Absolutely not,” I snapped.

“Hn. We’re already here,” Sasuke said, looking away. 

“Well that’s two to one. Let’s continue on, hm?” 

“This has gotta be against every single protocol there is on missions,” I protested, standing up and glaring at Kakashi. “We can’t just keep going on a mission that so clearly isn’t what it said it would be.” 

Kakashi shrugged. “Complications like this happen all the time in the field. If you can’t adapt to change, how will you ever survive in harder missions?” He was already walking forward. 

“But this is our first C-rank! Tell me right now that Naruto, Sasuke, and I would’ve been able to handle that threat on our own!”  

Kakashi sighed heavily, turning his book away from his face and looking at me unwillingly. “Now now, Sakura,” he cooed. “Sensei is here to protect you.” 

His eye curved up in a smile and he pet my hair. I growled at him and reared my leg back, letting my foot hit his ankle full force. Kakashi yelped, his free hand going to cradle his ankle as he glared at me. I gave into the childish urge to stick my tongue out at him and gloomily made my way back to everyone else. I wouldn’t let them forget my resistance to this for even a second. Everyone kept a healthy distance away from me until Kakashi decided it was time to set up camp. It was probably for the best, since I’d been muttering ‘I fucking new this mission was going to be bullshit’ under my breath for at least a half hour.

I grumbled about it some more, but still did my part to make camp and kept first watch. I could only hope tomorrow will be better than today, but judging how today went, I fucking doubted it. 

Notes:

Lmao none of my work is ever beta’d so if you find any mistakes lmk and I’ll probably fix it

Chapter 10: Chapter Ten

Summary:

Sakura continues to be validated on his line of reasoning

Notes:

Guys I’m so freaking bad at writing fight scenes 😭 I’m so sorry

We packed our temporary camp up as soon as Kakashi forced us up. I didn’t try interacting with everyone else around me while we walked, I was still bitter. I probably would be until we were safely on our way back home. I just couldn’t stop my mind from jumping to the worst case scenario, something that only made me jumpy and paranoid to all hell. 

I’m in my own head for most of the journey that day, but I can tell we get pretty far. We should be in Wave sooner than the three day estimation. Naruto’s being a menace to the fauna around us, tossing out kunai and threatening the plants with shuriken. It’s a waste of weaponry. I would have scolded him by now if I had the fucking patience. I think if I started telling him off, it’d only lead to me shouting at him, and the kid just doesn’t deserve that. 

I don’t think I’ve ever been as mad as I am now in either life. My hands are still shaking, and it has nothing to do with the near death experience. Walking further towards Wave feels like a death sentence. I want to beat Kakashi into a bloody pulp and make everyone see sense. We’re asking for things to get worse, for some enemy we’re not ready for to hit us while we’re down. Even if we could face a threat physically, Gato is a political enemy. 

I’d eat my own boots if he hadn’t bothered to cover his ass legally. If we barge into his territory and start interfering with whatever plans he has, are we putting our village at risk? Wave is under Water Country’s jurisdiction, even if it’s a highly contested piece of land between Fire and Water. Meddling now could cause (further) tension between the two Daimyos and put the Hokage in hot water for doing such a thing without informing Fire Country’s lord in the first place. 

Wave is a civilian town. Shinobi have no claim over it. I tugged at the short strands of my hair absently, a furious scowl etched onto my face. If only I could update the Hokage about all of this somehow. This is ridiculous . It’s not that I think Tazuna doesn’t deserve help, because he does, but it shouldn’t be given to him by an inexperienced genin team. This mission should be bumped up at least one rank, if only because of the political ramifications, and preferably handed off to Mist as its designated hidden village. 

My scowl deepened, tugging at my skin harshly. Except that Mist is, presumably, in another civil war. They haven’t been taking missions anywhere but their home turf and a lot of shinobi have been leaving its ranks. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if those shinobi brothers were formerly part of Mist. We’re in so much deep shit. 

The worst part of this is Kakashi’s blatant refusal to my initial protests. If I pointed out everything I thought of now, would he listen to me? Or would he scoff and tell me I’m being ridiculous? Am I being ridiculous? I don’t think I am. Man has gone to war for much less than a piece of land. Kakashi clearly had recognized the shinobi that Gato hired, but he didn’t provide any information on them. He didn’t even respond when I asked if we would be able to survive them. 

My scowl lessened into a disapproving frown. I need to get my hands on a bingo book. They’re restricted to chunin and up in Fire Country, which is fucking stupid to me, but I can get not wanting to encourage genin into becoming bounty hunters. Naruto nearly decapitates a rabbit. I hiss out his name, the tone sounding venomous in my ears. 

I take a deep breath, failing to contain my look of utter contempt, and clench my jaw to prevent me from taking my anger out on the wrong person. Naruto had started apologizing nervously, rambling on and on. 

“Just shut up,” I snapped, pinching the bridge of my nose. It was all I could do to contain the absolute fury curling around my system. 

Sasuke looked at me consideringly, seemingly having a realization a few moments later that made him pale. Kakashi simply looked amused, a stark contrast to Tazuna’s aversion to my anger. Clearly he knew he was the cause of it. Naruto’s jaw clicked shut and he hurried to put down the rabbit he’d traumatized, avoiding my judgemental gaze. 

Kakashi’s about to shoot off some quip that’ll undoubtedly piss me off further, if such a thing is possible at this point, before his expression falls. 

“Everybody down!” He drags Naruto and Sasuke with him.

I shove Tazuna down first, knowing that the bastard probably has shit reaction times. Drunk people usually do. I followed after, crouching down and staring at the executioner’s blade that sailed above us. Unlike yesterday, the sight of the blade makes me want to crumble in hysterical laughter. This entire trip I’ve been pulled taut like a wire, and now there’s this. 

As if the last attack hadn’t validated my fear enough. It was my survival instinct that led me in the last fight I had, but now it was pure and unadulterated fury. I wasted no time in hauling Tazuna up to his feet and shoving him behind me. I grabbed Naruto and told him to watch Tazuna’s back, be it with a clone or himself. 

This assailant’s entrance was just as dramatic as the last two had intended theirs to be. He appeared like a shadow on his blade, gently balancing on the end as he stared us down. 

“Oh my,” he gasped mockingly. “If it isn’t the famed Kakashi of the sharingan. Or should I call you the Copycat Nin? Famed for stealing and mastering over a thousand jutsu.” 

What. I think I might actually burst a blood vessel. 

“And what’s this? A bunch of genin?” The man laughed. “They gave you a team? Friend killer Kakashi,” he grinned maniacally, his eyes squinting up. “Your reputation truly does proceed you.” 

The air thickened with what I could only assume was chakra. Tazuna fell to his knees behind me, gasping. Naruto and Sasuke were shaking, but me? Molten lava bubbled up my throat and slithered through my body. If my hands were clenched any tighter, I’d break a finger or two. 

“Zabuza Momochi,” Kakashi drawled boredly. “Classmate killer.” 

I stared him down, now having a name to accompany all of my ill wishes. In that moment I imagined myself beating his face in, or maybe snapping his neck. Better yet, I fed him to a school of piranhas. His eyes slid over to me in interest, his grin growing more feral. 

“Oh? It seems you have someone with potential after all, Hatake. The other two are trembling, but this one wants to spill my guts.” He said it as if we were old friends. As if he was teasing me.

Kakashi glanced at me, his eyes flickering with worry before he focused on Zabuza again. 

“What, are you really interested in a bunch of baby ninja?” Kakashi scoffed, idly pulling out a kunai and spinning it around his fingers. 

“Baby ninja?” Zabuza questioned rhetorically. “No, these children don’t have the right to call themselves that. A ninja is covered in the worst sin possible. These kids haven’t even stepped in the direction of being a true shinobi.” 

He turned to us, his already feral expression gaining a spark of insanity. “Do you know what I did to earn this headband? I killed my entire class and proved to be strong enough to be the last one standing. And then when I finished killing my classmates, I killed my teachers too.” 

My anger had dulled to a throb, but it was still present like a shield against Zabuza’s expanding aura. We weren’t just fighting some super psycho with bad fashion sense. He was also a super sociopath. I watched almost numbly as Zabuza ran through a series of hand signs, thick fog covering the area as soon as he finished. I’d read about this technique before, and I was upset that I hadn’t bothered to look into it when I realized it was too high of a rank for me to perform. 

Knowledge is always powerful. For all I knew, there could be a counter to this that I could have spent time learning. Zabuza’s footsteps echoed around us, making me squint at the fog to try and find him. This is ridiculous, we’re in an open space! Near a river! There’s no reason we should be hearing echoes of anything. I rushed my chakra through my body until it found the delicate tendrils of Zabuza’s and shoved it out, breaking the genjutsu. 

It didn’t last long though. I can only assume the man had webbed the genjutsu through the fog and was continuously enforcing it. Not for the first time, I found myself horribly jealous of everyone’s chakra stores. Sakura had definitely been handed the short end of the stick in that regard. I just had to be efficient with that type of thing. 

I huddled closer to the boys and Tazuna, cuffing Sasuke’s neck. 

“Calm the fuck down, panic later in a controlled and safe environment,” I ordered, my tone stern. “Right now we have two objectives. Protect Tazuna and stay alive. That man won’t kill you. I have your back.” 

“Oh, really?” Zabuza chuckled, his shoes squelching in the wet ground. 

I tensed and shoved Sasuke back before tossing out three kunai. Zabuza deflected them with his unnecessarily long sword, still laughing behind it. I glared at him. Arrogance gets you killed. I threw a mix of all three of my blades before I rushed in, jumping over Zabuza’s low strike with his sword. Unflinchingly, I shoved a kunai into his neck. 

Zabuza’s eyes curved into a smile before he dissolved in a cloud of smoke. I could hear his thundering laugh deeper into the field, but I wouldn’t abandon my team just to chase him down. I had to trust that Kakashi would be enough. (And even if he wasn’t, what could I possibly do about it?)

“Naruto, get up,” I hissed. “Make clones to watch over Tazuna. You wanted to keep this mission, you get to do the heavy lifting.” 

Naruto grimaced, but he nodded and summoned three clones of himself to protect Tazuna. 

“We need to do something to help Kakashi,” Sasuke said shakily, his skin clammy. 

“What can we possibly do?” I spat, narrowed eyes trying and failing to see through Zabuza’s fog. “We’re out matched.” 

“But not out numbered,” he insisted stubbornly. 

I wanted to shake him and make him see the reality of our situation. 

“It’s too risky, Sasuke. You froze the moment he projected his chakra onto us. What do you think is going to happen if we decide to get near him?” 

“We can’t just give up.” 

“We can’t win this fight! We shouldn’t have even been here!” I took a deep breath and lowered my voice. “We’re not equipped to fight this battle, and if you want to see the light of tomorrow, then we’d better start planning a retreat.” 

“No way!” Naruto protested. “We’ve come this far, we can’t just give up! We can think of something. We just have to stay strong.” 

“Do the two of you have a death wish or somethin’?!” I was beyond anger. I was devastated. 

“We have a duty as shinobi!” Naruto cried. “And if you can’t fulfill it, Sasuke and I will.” 

I growled in frustration. “This ain't just a fuckin’ game, you fuckin’ blockheads! You can’t just decide something without knowing if ya have the ability to do it! If you’re gonna insist on fucking killing yourselves for the sake of some bullshit that ain’t even ours, then you better make a plan! I won’t let you idiots run into a fight ya can’t handle!” I seethed, my long forgotten accent coming out with a vengeance. 

I was too concerned with them to be embarrassed by it. 

Still, Naruto grinned and stuck out a fist at me. “You got it, Sa-chan!” 

I slapped his hand away, narrowing my eyes. “Don’t you dare call me that, you fucking brat. As soon as we get home I’m going to beat both of your asses into the ground for allowing this bullshit to continue.” 

I angrily stomped away and placed myself beside Tazuna. I glanced at him and saw his stricken expression. God, what a pathetic man. I can’t believe he’s relying on twelve year olds to protect him from a crime lord. 

“I’m not going to bite your head off,” I grouched. “Believe it or not, I do plan on making sure you stay alive.”

“Doesn’t seem like it,” he snapped back, much more anxious than upset. Well, upset at me. 

“I’m mad at the situation, not at you.”

“Clearly you don’t like me.”

“Of course not, you lied and are relying on children to cover your ass. I get why, but that don’t make it okay, you know? So yeah. I’m mad more at the situation than at you, but that doesn’t mean I like you.”

“How comforting.”

“I’m your shield, not your nanny.” 

“How do I know you’re not just gonna stab me?” 

“If I wanted to kill you I’d’a done it the first time we were attacked. Luckily for you, I have some sturdy morals.”

“Heh. That’s a good one,” he muttered, tensely observing the battlefield as blindly as the rest of us. 

It really didn’t help that Zabuza was listing all the major arteries and best ways to kill a man. 

“Listen, that’s just bad timing,” I huffed, finally losing some of my anger. 

I’m in a bad situation and I can’t get myself or the kids out of it. Might as well ride the wave and hope we don’t drown. The fog shattered. 

Let me say that again. 

The fog shattered. Like fiberglass. It was almost pretty. Its sudden disappearance gave all of us access to the scene before us. There stood Kakashi and Zabuza atop of the river, growling at each other ferally. It was almost like watching a documentary. 

“Hey, is it just me, or is Kakashi-sensei’s eye glowing?” Naruto asked weakly. 

Sasuke looked disturbed. More than usual, anyway. 

“Weren’t you listening before? Zabu- ah, actually, I’ll skip out on this one,” I grimaced. Sasuke glared at me. 

“What? I don’t get it,” Naruto scratched the back of his head. 

“It’s the sharingan,” Sasuke said tensely, as if we were pulling teeth. “It’s a power held by those… it used to be in my clan.”

Naruto let out a distracted ‘huh’, watching as Kakashi and Zabuza matched each other’s moves. Water jet to bullet to wave that eventually culminated into the Nidaime’s signature water dragon jutsu. I looked at Kakashi in worry. 

“We need to start planning, like, now. I’ve got no clue how much chakra Kakashi has left, but it can’t be much after that shit storm. Start thinking, kiddos.” 

I gave Tazuna a once over and scolded Naruto’s clones for playing rock paper scissors with each other, keeping half an ear out for whatever Naruto and Sasuke spitballed. We could, theoretically, join the battle on top of the lake, but that would probably disrupt whatever Kakashi was doing. We’ve never fought together, not like this. We’d just get in each other’s way. 

So, mid to long range support. But what would that entail, exactly? We don’t exactly have a huge arsenal of jutsu, and there’s no way in hell any of us can go toe to toe with Zabuza in hand to hand combat. It would be a slaughter. I can feel myself growing more and more frustrated by the second. 

I can’t do anything. How am I supposed to… I gripped my hair tightly and fought the urge to collapse like a child. The sharp pain in my scalp kept me focused on the fight in front of me. The most I can do is throw shit and hope something lands, right? But that’s too risky ‘cuz it could hit Kakashi, and as much as I dislike the dude, I’ve got to keep him alive. So what next? 

Can’t risk throwing shit at the criminal in front of him, so we need to get close. Except getting close is a death sentence if he has the chance to process our presence. So how do we catch him off guard? 

“Shurikenjutsu,” Sasuke muttered. 

I blinked. “What?” 

He looked away from me, a little bit of color on his cheeks. “You were talking out loud.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Okay, but I don’t follow. How can shurikenjutsu help? Those things are huge.” 

“Exactly. They’re heavier, but they’re also easier to transform into.”

“Woah, you want to get thrown at that guy?” Naruto gaped. 

I frowned, my mind jumping around different thoughts. I don’t know how to handle those huge ass things, and I’m certain Naruto isn’t any better. “No, he’d be the one throwing,” I muttered, eyes narrowed in concentration. 

Kakashi and Zabuza had been shouting at each other for a while, trading blows with a sword and kunai. I’m not going to ask how that’s possible. 

“Naruto, can you make your clones transform into things?” 

He scratched his head. “I’ve never tried.”

I hummed, glancing back at the clones who were talking Tazuna’s ears off. 

“It’s not worth trying in the middle of a mission, but we’ll get to it once we’re back home. I’ll transform. Naruto and Sasuke, you two need to stay close to Tazuna. At the end of the day, this mission is about him. But if I do this, I need a bailout.”

”Just take something you can kawamari with,” Sasuke grunted, his mouth tightening into a frown. “Something’s happening.” 

I looked up at the scene before me and watched as Kakashi and Zabuza mirrored each other’s movements, glowering hatefully at one another. Except for one thing. At the end of their sequences, Zabuza’s hand sign differed from what Kakashi did. I watched in horror as the water underneath Kakashi lifted up and dragged him down, ensnaring him in a circular, watery, prison. 

“Okay. Fuck, yeah. Okay,” I breathed, watching as Zabuza gloated over Kakashi. “Let’s do this.” 

I pulled out a kunai from my pocket and transformed as Sasuke got ready to throw out the, frankly, massive weapons. Being an object when you’re really a person is weird. I’ll be honest when I say that I didn’t process most of my journey to Zabuza. Everything was weirdly blurry (which makes sense, because objects do not have eyes) and fast. 

One moment I was quickly approaching Zabuza, hidden underneath the shadow of the lowest thrown shuriken, and the next I was springing out of my chakra-induced disguise. I didn’t hesitate taking out a handful of kunai from my weapons pouch and throwing them harshly into Zabuza’s upper back. I ignored the blood that sluggishly dripped down from the embedded knives and took a leap over Zabuza’s sword. 

I heard the crash of water in the distance and felt relief flood my chest despite the very real threat of death. Zabuza’s head snapped to me, eyes angry and hateful. His gaze flickered up and he hissed, spitting out Kakashi’s last name like a curse. I took the moment to turn tail. I tossed a kunai towards Tazuna and the boys before feeling my chakra tugging me along to its position. I took a gasp of air as I switched places with it and fell to my knees. I scrambled back, adrenaline rushing as I watched Zabuza’s sword shatter the kunai that took my place. 

He took a few heavy steps towards me before Kakashi intercepted his path. 

“We’re not finished here,” he said gravely. 

Seeing Kakashi acting serious was the worst part of this experience. His red eye was whirring quickly, sometimes giving the illusion that there was a solid ring of black in it. Kakashi pressed in closely, armed with a kunai and his instincts. He deflected Zabuza’s blows with an ease that could only come from experience. His left hand slipped into his weapon pouch and produced another kunai. He used both hands to force Zabuza on the defensive, slashing away at any opening he could find. 

Zabuza grunted, favoring his right side to prevent the kunai in his back from getting disturbed. He swung his sword down, effectively blocking whatever Kakashi was trying to do and forcing his own arms up high. Kakashi grabbed the hilt of Zabuza’s blade, tugging it with one hand and stabbing down blindly with the other. Zabuza was quick to readjust his grip and swing in front of his sword, landing a solid kick to Kakashi’s gut. The weapons he held clattered to ground on impact. 

Kakashi grunted, but held steady after a few stumbles. His hands sparkled with electricity. Zabuza tried to keep using his sword as a shield, but it was obvious that his adrenaline was running thin. To be fair, Kakashi didn’t seem much better. They were both over exerted and it showed. Kakashi’s body language gave away his intention to hit Zabuza’s exposed leg with the energy in his hands, something the other man was quick to cover. 

Unfortunately that did nothing to stop Kakashi’s charged hands from wrapping around Zabuza’s throat. I grimaced and looked away as Zabuza’s body convulsed and fell back, surely shooting the kunai even further into his back. 

Kakashi’s sharingan eye slid shut as soon as Zabuza’s eyes fluttered closed. He swayed and stumbled back before he pulled his headband back down to cover the eye. He turned to us, tired but relieved to see us okay. 

“Come on,” I urged, turning to tug Tazuna towards Kakashi. Naruto’s clones disappeared as the original and Sasuke followed after me. 

Kakashi met us halfway, clearly fighting off what must be a mild case of chakra exhaustion. 

“Sensei!” Naruto called, startled by a figure suddenly appearing over Zabuza’s body. 

A small person with dark hair hefted the man over his shoulder, looking utterly ridiculous. Their white and navy blue mask stared at the group blankly before they vanished in a swirl of lake mist. 

“Hunter nin from Kiri,” Kakashi slurred, bringing a hand to cover his face. 

I glanced at him and felt myself grow pale. Oh, he better not. Please, please don’t pass out. 

Kakashi, one to go against every single hope I could ever have, passed out right then and there. 

“I’m so not carrying him,” I said, a touch hysterically. 

Sasuke crouched down and intently watched Kakashi’s chest. He slumped in silent relief once he noticed his shallow breathing. Naruto, on the other hand, crouched down across from Sasuke and started patting Kakashi’s cheek. 

“Woah, he’s really burning up,” he marveled. 

“Tazuna,” I said tensely. “Tell me your home is nearby.” 

I’d love to go back to Konoha now, but we’re too deep into this and Kakashi is too much of a liability for a trip back. 

“Yes, the harbor to reach the island is a ten minute walk away. Then from there it would be another fifteen minutes.” His eyes ran over each of us with guilt. 

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. I took a deep breath. “Okay,” I muttered to myself. “Okay.”

I cleared my throat. “Naruto, make a few clones to carry Kakashi while we walk. Sasuke, take point. Naruto, I want you and a clone to be on either side of Kakashi and Tazuna in the middle. I’m taking rear.” My expression left no room for argument. 

The rest of the trip was mercifully uneventful. We got to the harbor (if it could be called that) without any delays and the hour long boat ride was bearable. Tazuna seemed inclined to walk faster as he gave us directions to his home. Kakashi was still burning up, but there wasn’t anything I could do until we got to somewhere we could safely stop. 

Tazuna’s daughter, Tsunami, met us at the door. She led us to a spare bedroom and hurried to make food for us, something that I appreciated deeply. I told Naruto’s clones to set Kakashi down on his sleeping bag and sent Sasuke to get a wet cloth with warm water for me. Naruto watched intently as I took two pain relief pills from my pack and crushed them into Kakashi’s canteen of water. 

Sasuke returned with the washcloth and bowl of warm water shortly after Naruto had gotten Kakashi up into a sitting position and leaned against a wall. 

“Both of you go down and check on Tsunami. If she’s got any sort of broth, I would appreciate it.”

“Why do both of us have to go?” Naruto asked curiously. 

“Because you can’t leave Tazuna unprotected. Look at how far this Gato guy has gone. You really think he wouldn’t send someone to his house?” 

Naruto grimaced but didn’t argue any further. I waited until both of them had gone down the hall before I turned to Kakashi. I sighed and rubbed the back of my hair, grimacing. I don’t like Kakashi, but I still respect his privacy as a person. I tried not to feel too bad as I lowered his mask and brought the water up to his lips. 

I dried off whatever spilled onto his chin and tugged his mask back on, trying not to think too hard about what I saw. I lifted his headband next and put it into his backpack before I gently lowered him down again. I soaked the washcloth and wrung it out before laying it on his forehead, nervously biting my bottom lip. I’d have to keep an eye out. Chakra exhaustion makes one’s body more susceptible to illness, especially things like pneumonia. 

I dug around Kakashi’s backpack and found a blanket that I draped over him. He was already sweating from fighting off the fever, but it was still cold and I couldn’t trust that the clashing temperatures wouldn’t fuck him over. 

“Food’ll be ready in like twenty minutes,” Naruto said, sticking his head into the room. “She’s making soup. How is sensei?” 

I sighed, leaning back. “As okay as can be expected, I guess. I don’t doubt that it’ll take two or so days before he wakes up.” 

“What are we supposed to do until then?” Naruto asked worriedly. 

I sighed again before I pushed myself off the floor. “Our best, I guess.” 

I walked over to the door and waved Naruto away when he looked at me sadly. I gave Kakashi one final mental assessment and slid the door shut behind me. Naruto led me to the kitchen where Tsunami was putting some vegetables into a pot of seasoned boiling water. 

“It’ll be ready soon, dears. Please go relax.”

I didn’t argue. I’m too emotionally exhausted to offer help. We went to the table where Sasuke was seated across from Tazuna. We sat next to him silently, none of us knowing what to say. 

I scratched at the skin around my fingernails and tried not to think of all the ways we could screw this mission up. The rest of the day was just as eerily silent as it had been. 

Notes:

I don’t know how I feel about making Sakura’s accent a recurring thing. I don’t think it fits with the Naruto world, but then again, that’s kind of the point. What do y’all think?

Chapter 11: Chapter Eleven

Summary:

Hoorah, Kakashi’s not dead yet!

Kakashi’s fever had yet to break, but it at least wasn’t getting any worse. Tazuna was telling us a bit more about Wave, all of which was horribly depressing. 

“Thanks to Gato, the town is dying. He’s taxing everyone for whatever they manage to grow, not that the soil was much good to begin with. Our people are starving. This bridge is our last hope.”

I hummed, furrowing my brows. “What about fishing?” 

“What about it?”

“Well, you live by an ocean,” I said slowly, looking him in the eyes. “Is Gato preventing you from having a fish market?” 

He sighed heavily. “The water is too disturbed for fish to come anywhere near our usual fishing posts. There’s only so far we can reach, and more often than not, Gato’s men will catch you in the act and beat you to submission.” 

“Huh. Okay, so where do the fish usually congregate?” I asked, leaning against my fist. 

“Usually about… forty to fifty feet into the ocean? Something like that.” 

I glanced at the boys, wondering if they were following my train of thought. I turned to Naruto, the selfless bastard, and quirked a brow up at him. 

“Think you can handle water-walking in that far?” 

He grinned at me, sharp teeth poking out of his smile. “Duh! I’m gonna catch so many fish.”

My eyes slid to Sasuke. “You can handle making sure he doesn’t drown himself?”

Naruto squawked in protest. “Hey, I don’t need a babysitter!”

Sasuke crossed his arms and ignored Naruto. “Of course I can.” 

I nodded. “Good. If either of you need anything, send a clone.” 

“Should I leave a clone with you, too?” Naruto asked, eyes wide with concern. 

I huffed and gave him a small smile. “Good thinking, kid. Two sets of hands are always better than one.”

Naruto beamed, a proud look on his face. Sasuke rolled his eyes. 

“Make sure you’re back by noon,” I called idly. 

The boys nodded (Naruto sarcastically had called out ‘aye aye, captain) before grabbing their things to leave. Naruto stationed a clone outside the house, which then turned to two clones as the first clone whined about getting bored. I turned to Tazuna once Sasuke shut the door behind them. 

“So, exactly how politically covered is Gato?” 

Tazuna grimaced. “Nothing is confirmed, but we suspect he has the Water Daimyo’s silent backing.”

My eyes widened a little. “And that’s why you came to Konoha. Gato is backed by the state, which would leave your town as awful, if not worse, than it is now.” 

He nodded, rubbing a calloused hand over his weary face. 

“Before Kakashi passed out, he said that the shinobi that appeared was a Mist hunter nin. Do they usually trek this far into your territory?” 

“No, but they’ve been getting bolder. Usually they don’t bother bein’ discreet about the whole murder thing. Sometimes they don’t even dispose of the body; just take the head and move on.” 

His face looked sour. I guess mine would too, if I had to deal with what he was dealing with. 

“That one was awfully strange. Small and different. Their uniform is outdated. The Mizukage’s been marking his own with magenta, that one still had his mask from the last Kage.” 

I frowned, my brows furrowing. 

“Maybe a rouge bounty hunter?”

Tazuna’s grimace worsened. “Hope not. Most shinobi avoid this place, attracting more killers is the last thing we need.” 

“I mean, the only other explanation that’d make sense is that shinobi being Zabuza’s accomplice. If that’s the case, we’re still screwed. Kakashi landed a life threatening hit, but not a fatal one. I don’t even want to think about it.” 

Tazuna’s hands tightened around each other. I don’t think he wanted to think about it either. 

“I’m gonna heat up some soup so Kakashi can take medicine. I’ll be back soon.” 

Tazuna hummed, deep in thought. I tried not to fall into the same trap of overthinking as I went about my task. I fetched Kakashi’s water canteen while the soup cooled down a little and rinsed it before refilling it. I’d try getting him to swallow the pills whole this time. Or is that too risky? Maybe I should just crush it again. I don’t want to accidentally choke him. 

I sighed and crushed the pills. Better safe than sorry, honestly. I capped the water before I brought it and the soup to our temporary room. The soup was still a little hotter than I felt comfortable giving him, so I took the opportunity to replace the water for the washcloth. I checked in on Tazuna and his grandson (Inari, I think) before I returned to the room. 

I was slowly getting used to Kakashi’s face. The most shocking thing has been his teeth, but I got over it after a few times. He had full on fangs, like a wolf. It made sense, I suppose. The Hatake clan wasn’t very well recorded, and it felt disrespectful to question anything when Kakashi was its last survivor. After I gave him most of the soup, I made him drink the medicine. I sighed and tried not to feel too bothered about the fact that I was also tucking him in every once in a while. 

Maybe I should just make the boys do this. I thought about it and frowned. No, they’d just do it ineffectively. Or worse, they’d disrespect Kakashi’s privacy. I grabbed everything and took it back to the kitchen. After I washed the plate and flask, I filled the flask back up with water and brought it back into the room. 

I made sure Kakashi was fine before I walked over to my sleeping bag and plopped down onto it. What the hell are we going to do? I don’t want to think that Zabuza is alive, but the fact is that he very well could be. If I ignore that possibility, I’m only putting my team and my charge in danger. Kakashi’s out of commission for who knows how long, so Naruto, Sasuke, and I are this bridge’s first and last defense. 

I smiled bitterly. No pressure, huh? I sighed and grabbed my pack, searching for a piece of paper and something to write with. I did my best to sketch out what I remembered the alleged hunter nin looked like, then I flipped the page over and wrote a description. I really hoped we wouldn’t be seeing them again, but given team seven’s luck so far, I couldn’t count on it. 

The shitty part is that I had no clue what this unknown adversary could do. All I had is that they were probably from Mist, and therefore probably used water jutsu. Then again, they could be like me which forces them to be a weapon’s master of some sort. I dug through my backpack after pocketing the sheet of paper, hoping that I packed something that could give me ideas. 

Unfortunately I only packed a book on medical applications to chakra. It’s why I knew what I did about chakra exhaustion, but I wasn’t sure it could help any more than that. I took it on the off chance it could tell me when to expect Zabuza’s reappearance. I glanced at Kakashi one last time and went back into the living room. 

Tazuna was pouring himself a cup of tea in the kitchen and Inari was sitting outside on the back porch. I poked my head out of the front door, checking in on Naruto’s clones, and nodded in satisfaction. I sat down in the living room and read through the book from the beginning until Naruto and Sasuke came into the house. 

“We brought fish!” Naruto crowed, lifting two large bags over his head. 

I scrunched my nose as sea water dripped down onto his head. 

“Yes, I can see that. And smell it.” I sighed and closed my book after dog-earring the page. “Go ask Tsunami how many she’ll need. Put an extra three in the fridge and come back to tell me just how much you have left over.” 

Naruto cheerfully bounded away to do just that. Sasuke looked at me questioningly. 

“We’re not keeping what we physically can’t eat,” I said, exasperated. 

“Sakura, the fish are already dead,” he said condescendingly. “We can’t just toss them back into the water.” 

“No shit,” I deadpanned. “You and Naruto are going to discreetly give them to people who don’t look like they work for Gato. Food is hard to come by for the people here, this way what we have won’t go to waste.” 

Sasuke huffed. “Why do I have to go?” 

My eyes flickered to the hallway. “I don’t trust Naruto alone.” I didn’t trust Sasuke alone either. If they ran into trouble, at least they’d have each other’s backs. “Plus, it’d be good for you to keep an eye out on the land. See if you find anyone shady or catch sight of that person who took Zabuza away.” 

“Kakashi said they were a hunter nin, right?”

I grimaced. “Hunter nin don’t take bodies, they take heads.” 

He frowned too. “Okay. I’ll see what I find.”

I reached into my pocket and took out the folded piece of paper, silently handing it over to Sasuke. “That’s what I remember them looking like.”

He nodded, quietly studying what I drew and wrote. Naruto came back a bit after that, having stuffed all the fish into one smelly bag. “There’s sixteen fish!” 

My brain short circuited. “I’m sorry, what? Did you just say sixteen?” 

He laughed nervously. “Sasuke and I may have gone a little overboard.” 

My eyes flickered from him to Sasuke, both of which were avoiding my gaze. “Alright, whatever. Sasuke, tell Naruto what I told you. Minus the first thing you asked me. Naruto, make sure you listen to Sasuke if he says something is sketchy.” 

Sasuke shot a smug look at Naruto. 

“Why do I have to listen to that jerk!?” 

I scowled at him. “Cuz he won’t wander off to follow the first interesting thing that catches his eye! Until you prove yourself, Naruto, I’m gonna keep putting Sasuke in charge.” 

Naruto crossed his arms, wet bag of fish included. “Hmph! You’ll see!” 

“I hope I do. Now, go. If anything goes wrong, send a clone and I’ll be there. Try to be back in an hour.” 

The kids nodded and ducked out of the house for the second time that day. I glanced at the floor and sighed. I need to clean up that mess before someone falls. I could feel Inari’s eyes boring into me as I cleaned. He’s been staring at all of us a lot, especially when he sees me bring things into the room for Kakashi. I don’t think he’s particularly fond of us. 

I picked up the rag I had used to wipe down the floors and brought it into the bathroom to wash. I don’t think I would have been very okay with a group of four soldiers crashing in my house either. Not as a kid anyway. Maybe as an adult who was terrified of life outside my doorstep. 

I hung the rag on the towel holder to dry and idly went back into the room to check on Kakashi. Distantly, I heard Tsunami tell Inari to help her with lunch. 

“You’re okay,” Kakashi rasped as I walked through the door. 

I flinched back a little, not expecting him to be awake or coherent. Ish. Those two words really sounded like one nonexistent thing (yurukay). I hesitantly met his eyes, wondering where the hell he found the strength to sit against the wall.

“Um. Yeah. We’re all safe and well fed.” 

He mumbled out something that sounded close to ‘good’ before his eyes slipped shut again. He slumped a little lower on the ground, the wall stopping him from straight on dropping. I stepped further into the room slowly. 

“Kakashi? Hey, are you still awake, dude?” 

No response. I took a deep breath and quickly sent out a small prayer so Kakashi wouldn’t cut off my hand for getting close to him. I crouched down and pressed my hand against his skin, unsurprised to find his fever’s resurgence. The book did mention that some shinobi could force themselves awake for a period of time, but it explicitly described the many risks of chakra burn that came with it. 

I sighed and went back to my backpack to find some pain relief pills and immunity vitamins. I went through what was quickly becoming a routine, this time not pausing at the sight of Kakashi’s literal canines. After I made sure he wouldn’t choke, I moved Kakashi back into a laying position. This couldn’t be healthy for his body, but I don’t know exactly how bed sores work. 

Well, if he wants to avoid it he can wake the hell up. When it won’t harm his chakra system, of course. Preferably tomorrow? The house smelled like grilled fish, which is my cue to leave Kakashi in the dust. For now. Heaven knows he can’t fend for himself at the moment, and the kids would probably accidentally kill him. 

“You’re so lucky I’m around,” I sighed, knowing damn well he couldn’t hear me. “Hurry up and get better, alright? It’s annoying having to boss Naruto and Sasuke around.” 

I wondered why I even bothered, but I’ve done weirder things for some comfort. I pat Kakashi’s shoulder before standing up and heading towards the food. Sasuke and Naruto were already lounging in the living room, flicking through the book I’d left there. 

“Hey, what’s this?” Sasuke asked, pointing to a passage lower down on one of the earlier pages. 

I squinted at it, quickly scanning its contents. “Oh, the introduction to the chakra scalpel technique. It gets a little more in depth a few chapters down and explains the general premise of the jutsu, but there’s no hand signs. You’ve just got to be able to do it.” 

“How hard is it to learn?” 

I hummed, plopping down on the couch beside him. “Depends on how good your chakra control is. That’s what it mainly comes down to, cuz it’s just refined raw energy rather than manipulating matter from its base form into something unique.” 

“That’s my sign to leave,” Naruto said cheerfully, wandering into the kitchen. 

Sasuke rolled his eyes at him briefly before he turned back to me. “Can we practice it?” 

He’s including me in this? That’s oddly touching. I feel like we’ve made a lot of progress. 

I smiled at him. “Course, dude. We just gotta make sure Naruto’s gonna be alright staying in the house alone or we stay nearby.” 

Sasuke hummed, thumbing through the rest of the book. 

“Lunch’s ready!” Tsunami called. 

I sighed happily, making my way to the dinner table after a quick trip to the restroom to wash my hands. Food is so good. She set a plate of rice and grilled fish in front of me, to which I smiled gratefully. 

“Thank you for the food.” 

She smiled back at me and brought out more plates for everyone. I wanted to eat, but I’d wait until everyone else was ready too. I looked around the table, unsurprised to see Inari taking his plate and walking to his bedroom. He was probably the prickliest toddler I’ve ever come across. Sasuke came to the table when Tsunami set a plate down in an empty spot for him. 

“Put the book away,” I chided, leaning against my fist. 

Sasuke rolled his eyes and pointedly stuck it on his lap under the table. He grumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like ‘whatever, mom.’ I’d let it slide this once, because I’m merciful like that. 

I smiled lightly and went to dig in once I saw that everyone had taken a bite of their food. Naruto told us about their trip into the village, something that was undoubtedly macabre, but well hidden beneath Naruto’s idealistic way of speaking. It was… honestly concerning. There were some parts he was clearly sugar-coating, but some things were said bluntly and thoughtlessly. It sent red flags to my social worker-trained brain. 

It’s the way he talks about poverty. My jaw firmed up at the realization. I’d see what I could do to scout out his living situation and possibly improve it. No one else seemed particularly bothered by how Naruto told his tale. I could excuse Tsunami and Tazuna as being desensitized to the reality of their lives, but shouldn’t it be more worrying to Sasuke? Is he too young to pick up on it? Or worse, is he used to it too? 

My hand tightened around my fork. I let out a steady breath to calm myself down, reminding myself of where I am. Priorities. I can handle the rest of this stuff when we get home, not a moment before. I finished my food and excused myself from the table a bit earlier than everyone else. After I washed my plate I retreated into the bedroom and crawled into my sleeping bag. This is stressful. I sighed and forced myself into an unsteady sleep, even though it’s only two pm. 

I need to recharge, especially if I’m going to be walking through a new technique with Sasuke. God, I have to find something for Naruto so he won’t throw a tantrum and storm off. These thoughts followed me into my sleep. I dreamt that Naruto could grow flowers and that Sasuke delighted in burning all the orange ones. 

I woke up a bit later, but probably not too late. I mean the sun was still out. I blinked away the sleep in my eyes and turned questioningly, spotting Naruto staring at me in concern. 

“Hey, Sakura. Are you okay? You slept for like three hours.” 

I yawned and sat up, smoothing out my clothes. “Yeah, I was just tired. Everyone still good?”

He nodded, his face pinched. “I, um, actually came for some advice?” 

Oh. That’s unexpected. “Sure, I’ll help however I can.” 

Naruto sat across from me, his fingers tight around the zipper on his glaringly bright sweater. He explained about Inari’s apparent outburst and his response to it, then segwayed into the past Tsunami and Tazuna had shared about him. I felt myself frown the longer I heard Naruto nervously rattle on about yelling at the kid. I held up a hand to get him to stop. 

“Listen, Naruto. It does suck that you yelled at a baby, but at the same time, the kid had it coming,” I shrugged. 

“I- what?! His dad is dead!” 

“Naruto, people with dead parents can still be brats. Look at Sasuke.” 

He faltered, his face looking conflicted. 

“I get why you’re sympathetic, I really do, but you also have to acknowledge that right now you’re here to do a job. You can’t let Inari’s thinking get to you, and you were right to correct it lest it become a liability. Maybe you could have done it more gently, but hey, no one is perfect. If you really feel bad about it, you can apologize. Just keep in mind that it might take away the meaning in your words.” 

He kept quiet, earnestly thoughtful. I heaved myself up and patted his head, leaving the room to give him space with his thoughts. Sasuke was draped across the couch when I came into the living room. He glanced up at me and shut the book with a sharp snap.

“Finally,” he huffed, tossing the book onto the coffee table. 

The disrespect to things that aren’t his is astonishing. I was about to scold him, but I get the feeling that establishing a boundary like that would make him do this on his own and get him severely hurt. He’s lucky I like him enough to take his safety into consideration. 

“Yeah yeah, I’m the asshole. Come on, let’s go outside. Bring the book as a reference.” 

We made our way to a patch of slightly wet grass that was a few feet away from the back porch. Sasuke made a face when he sat down and primly put his hands in his lap. I smirked lightly, taking the book from him. 

“Alright,” I hummed, flipping through the book. “First things first, direct your chakra to your hands.”

My chakra went easily. It was a bit like directing water, honestly. I kept explaining once Sasuke’s pinched expression melted away to his usual apathy. 

“Next you’re going to want to push it out onto your hands. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to use more of it, but it helps some people.” 

There was still chakra running through my body and hands as I forced a layer up, but I could feel the thin layer’s absence. Sasuke frowned and didn’t speak for several minutes. Eventually, after a while I wouldn’t comment on, he managed to achieve a dull blue aura around his hands. 

“Great. Now what’s left is to metaphorically sharpen your chakra. Like I said earlier, chakra is a state of energy. Like any energy, it has the potential to be used. You remember the concept of inertia, right? It’s something like that. The difference is that chakra is a malleable energy whereas most is incorporeal. If you put your hand to something, the chakra probably wouldn’t do much but push against it or stick to it as if you were wall-walking. You want to sharpen it to a fine point.” 

Sasuke glared at me from the corner of his eyes. “Yeah, I read the same book.” 

My lips twitched down at the jab. Man, he’s seriously an asshole. God, what if he’s Kakashi in the making? I felt the state of my chakra and tried to imagine the feeling of sharpening a blade. When I lowered my hand down to the ground, the blades of grass were messily cut down. I frowned, wondering how to refine the technique. The longer I practiced, the thinner the layer of chakra I used was. I could feel my chakra melt back into my body without much loss, which was nice. 

It was, essentially, a cost effective technique. If I got good enough with it, I could probably use it instead of actual weapons. Then again, I’m not good with having to dodge often or live without a few fingers. I got to a good enough point after half an hour, by which Tsunami was cooking dinner. There were still some parts of my chakra that weren’t even with the whole, but I was definitely closer to getting neat slices. I yawned and let my chakra fully sink into my fingers.

“I’m gonna take a break,” I called casually. “Call me if you start bleeding or something.”

Sasuke just grunted, intensely staring at his hands. He’ll get there eventually, he’s done harder stuff. I waved to Naruto, who was discussing something with Tazuna, before  I went into the room to check on Kakashi. Seeing that the idiot who gave himself chakra-exhaustion was breathing, I grabbed a change of clothes and led myself to the shower. 

Dinner was ready by the time I was out of the shower. I realized that I’d probably resort to eating my ration bars soon, if we kept up the rice and fish combo. For now, it was still good for my pallet. The chili oil that Tazuna had made was really good too. I should get more spices for my house. I only ever eat spicy food when I go to a restaurant, and that’s honestly a crime. As soon as we get home, I know what I’ll be doing. 

For now, I enjoyed the (kinda) peaceful atmosphere. 

Notes:

I have two future things shakily planned. One of them includes Sasuke, which you can probably tell from this chapter, and the other is a crack idea that involves Kakashi. The crack idea is solid and no one can stop me from making it canon in this book. ❤️

Chapter 12: Chapter Twelve

Summary:

Team Seven strikes up a hesitant deal with a shaky ally.

Notes:

This is not the crack chapter. That will be coming in (potentially) chapter 14.

Like I expected, our stay at Tazuna’s home had become a little monotonous. The food was repetitive (which I honestly can’t complain about), patrolling the town yielded almost nothing, and Kakashi was still knocked out. It’s been four days. He at least hasn’t gotten sick again,  but come on. Just wake up already. Sasuke made a breakthrough with the chakra scalpel yesterday. It was currently at a ‘dull blade’ quality, but it was better than he’d managed so far, so I count it as a win.

Sasuke didn’t seem to agree. I had to talk to him about managing expectations and telling him that it was unhealthy for him to expect he’d be able to master everything effortlessly. It’s a tired road, one I’m trying to get him to avoid. It was hard wanting to help, if I’m honest. 

Sasuke and Naruto are exhausting, each in their own insufferable way. Naruto never shuts up and complains if he’s not constantly doing something, which I get is normal child behavior, but holy shit does it grate on my nerves. Sasuke’s an entitled prick with high expectations that translates into grandiose expectations that cause a meltdown every time he fails to meet them. 

I’m simply not equipped to handle them. Pre-teens and their goddamn feelings. Even worse, I can’t shunt them off to their parents, because they’re dead! So we have two extremely traumatized young boys with almost zero experience in properly taking care of themselves and a teacher who doesn’t teach or nurture. I need a vacation from this team, it’s too emotionally draining. 

Currently I was sitting on the back porch, simply breathing in the cold, salty, air and trying to forget how much responsibility I took without a second thought. I had nothing to stimulate my interests. I picked one book and I’ve read it thrice over, not that I could read it a fourth because Sasuke has taken it hostage until he masters the stupid hand knife technique. I tried to braid my ninja wire and immediately got three thin cuts on my fingers. 

I’m too lazy to go inside to bandage them, so I just had my hands pressed against my stomach. Whatever, my shirt can suck it. I could feel the pout on my face just as much as I could feel the stinging in my eyes from my refusal to blink. Unfortunately my staring contest with the ocean was cut short when a heavy hand pushed my head down. 

“What the he- oh my god I’m so happy you’re awake.” I slumped over, not fighting the weight of Kakashi’s hand. 

I was surprised to find just how much I meant it. Okay, yes, I’ve been complaining about it this whole time, but I didn’t think I’d want to cry at the sight of Kakashi. He hummed noncommittally, looking particularly worn down. 

“Are you okay? I tried my best, but I’m not trained and I was busy with the boys, and I had to keep them out of the room whenever I gave you medicine, but they’re nosy bastards-“ 

“You did fine, Sakura. I appreciate it, really. Wait. You gave me medicine?” 

I furrowed my brows, looking up at him. “Of course I did. And food that you wouldn’t choke on. I don’t want you to die. You’re… the team leader.” 

“Hm? Didn’t you hate my guts before all this? All I had to do to get you to like me is pass out?” 

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be an idiot. I still think you’re a shit teacher, but you’re our mission leader. More importantly, you’re a person from Konoha. I wouldn’t not help.” 

“…and my face. You saw it?” 

“No, Kakashi,” I said sarcastically. “I filtered everything through your mask and tried not to waterboard you.” 

“Brat,” he huffed. “You said you stopped Naruto and Sasuke from being in the room when you did this?” 

“Yup. You’re welcome by the way. Now they won’t know you have a major case of dog-breath with none of the cute that accompanies it.” 

“I’ll have you know I’ve been told I’m very cute,” he sniffed. 

“Oh, Kakashi, who lied to you? We’ll find them together.” 

He pushed me off the porch. I totally stuck the landing and didn’t end up with scraped knees, stinging cuts, and red palms. It wasn’t a very high fall, just a few inches. I sat up and yawned, choosing to ignore the whole situation. 

“How have the last few days been?” Kakashi asked, leaning against the wall. 

“Uneventful. I'm assuming you talked to everyone inside first?” 

“Naruto’s with Inari and Tazuna, Sasuke is who knows where, Tsunami wasn’t sure what to say. She gave me tea though, which is good.” 

“Sasuke’s not in the house?” 

He shook his head and I groaned. “I told him not to go too far. Give me a second, teach.” 

I pushed myself up and padded into the house quickly. 

“Naruto!”

“What?!” His voice echoed. 

“Make a clone and send it to look for Sasuke! The idiot left by himself!” 

“On it!” 

“Thanks!” 

I ran back outside where Kakashi was looking at me judgingly. I waved him away, sitting next to him again.

“Can’t trust either one of them on their own.” 

“You do realize they’re both shinobi?” He asked dryly.

“You do realize that they’re both baby teenagers with a shitload of unhealthy habits born of trauma? Quite frankly, they should be in mandatory therapy,” I returned just as dryly. 

He frowned, tilting his head consideringly. “Really?” 

“Are you kidding? Sasuke throws a tantrum anytime something goes even slightly against his expectations, Naruto doesn’t realize there’s a higher quality to living than the bare necessities, both of them need to be the best in the room or their whole self worth shatters. Need I go on?”

“Isn’t that… just normal teenage boy stuff?” 

“No, Kakashi. That’s traumatized teenager stuff. Sasuke physically doesn’t feel relaxed unless he can see every weapon in a room and Naruto trusts absolutely no one to treat him well. That’s why he’s so argumentative and so defensive over the people that already proved themselves to him.” 

“Oh. Should I force them into therapy?” 

I shrugged. “Probably. Honestly, therapy should be mandatory anyway. Our career is grim as fuck and the academy does nothing to prepare you for it morally and emotionally. At the very least, it should be readily available to shinobi.” 

“Most wouldn’t go.”

“Maybe, but at least those who would could benefit from it. Who knows, maybe those people could convince others that it’s worth it.” 

He looked thoughtful, if a little uncomfortable. 

“By the way, do shinobi have health insurance?” 

“What? Of course. There’s village-wide insurance in Konoha,” he said distractedly. 

“Cool, cool… so what does that cover exactly?” 

“Dental, emergency surgery, checkups, vaccines, prosthetics, medication.” 

I wanted to ask about cosmetic surgery, but that feels… like I’d be saying too much. I’m not ready to open that can of worms.

“Not mental services?” 

“Oh, does it cover therapy? I don’t think so, but there’s a grant the village gives to people who were recommended into therapy by their superiors.” 

I nodded. He shook his head to himself before he turned back to me. 

“Anyway, you never told me how it’s been.”

“Oh, right. First day was an emotional shit storm. I didn’t know what to do with you and the boys were restless. Second day I sent them to scout out the town to see what’s up with it. Tazuna told me that Gato is possibly silently backed by the Water Daimyo and that the hunter nin that took Zabuza’s body away was suspicious as hell.” 

Kakashi sighed. “I thought so too. Hunter nin aren’t known for subtlety.”

“Tazuna said that their mask was outdated. The new ones are magenta to show their loyalty to the Mizukage.”

“Chances are that person is Zabuza’s partner,” he grimaced. 

“See, I knew that, but it sucks so much more when you confirm my suspicions.” 

“Apologies,” he said dryly. “Just trying to give the team the best chance to stay alive.” 

“Oh, shut up. I’m allowed to hate our situation. Do you know how tiring Naruto and Sasuke are? I can kinda understand why you choose to ignore us all the time.” 

“I don’t ignore you guys all the time,” he bristled. 

“Don’t kid yourself, Kakashi. I’ve been pulling this team around a lot more than you. They defer to you because you give them what they want, but I’m the one that’s been teaching them.” 

It came out a little more bitter than I intended. 

“Like what?” 

“Well, we did some physical conditioning for like two weeks, then I bought chakra paper and made us each learn one jutsu to the elements we’re attuned to-“

“That’s not dangerous at all.”

“They were e-ranks, calm down. Me and Sasuke learned the chakra scalpel technique like two days ago and Naruto’s been having lots of fun now that he realized he can use his clones as a spy network. Oh, plus I made them learn how to use their chakra to walk vertically and on water.” 

“You’ve been doing this all without supervision?” 

“I am the supervision. I make sure they don’t break any bones and that they have someone to pick them up when they fail. I’ve given too many speeches to count and made sure that they don’t give up in rage.” 

“What about you? Who makes sure you’re pushing through?” 

“I’m careful and determined enough to not need a support pillar. Not like they do.” 

“Dammit, sensei. You cursed me with a student like me,” Kakashi muttered under his breath. 

I only caught like a fourth of it before he cleared his throat. 

“Sakura!” Naruto shouted from inside. I sighed. “I found Sasuke! He’s acting weird!”

“Well, duty calls.” 

“Um, no. Sakura, I know you’ve been playing sensei, but it’s not actually your job.” 

I paused and raised a single brow at him. “Okay then. Go deal with it.” 

“Right. I will. Just after I get up.” 

I rolled my eyes. “What’s the situation, Naruto?!” 

I stepped into the house, looking around. I could hear Kakashi grumble under his breath and paid it no mind. 

“I dunno! Sasuke won’t show me! Oh, hey Sakura,” he smiled when I got close enough. 

“Show me your hands,” I demanded. 

Sasuke scowled and looked away. 

“Now, Sasuke. I’m not going to ask twice.” 

It’s like he’s three and not eleven. Twelve? Who the fuck knows. Reluctantly, he held out his hands. 

I groaned. “Come on, we’re putting burn cream on that.” 

“Burn cream?” Naruto yelped. “How did he burn his hands?” 

“I told him not to mess with the chakra scalpel technique, so of course he messed with it. Oh, stop pouting, Sasuke. You knew the consequences.” 

“Why isn’t sensei in the room?” Naruto paled. 

“He’s outside.”

“Sensei’s awake?!” 

“Yep, go see for yourself. Not you, Sasuke. You can go after I bandage your hands. Stop moving.”

I pretended not to hear Sasuke complaining under his breath. I slathered on the off-white ointment and wrapped his hands tightly in bandages. 

“That literally took two minutes, you can stop complaining. Go on, go see Kakashi.” 

Sasuke huffed and spun on his heel, silently doing just that. I rolled my eyes at his back and went to wash my hands. I could hear Naruto excitedly talking to Kakashi in the background and let my shoulders slump. I really need Kakashi to step up. I dried my hands and joined the boys in the living room, silently dropping down on the floor in front of the couch. 

“Hey, where’d you get crutches from?” I asked, poking the one close to me with my fingers. 

“Oh, you know… from around.” 

I shrugged. Not my business, and it’s not affecting me in any way, so whatever. 

“Have you told Sasuke and Naruto about our theory?” 

Kakashi hummed, glancing up at the ceiling before meeting their eyes. 

“We think Zabuza’s still alive.”

“What?!” Naruto shouted, his happy expression disappearing. “But we watched you zap him! A lot!”

Kakashi nodded. “That’s true, but do you remember that hunter nin that appeared as soon as I was far away enough? We think they could be Zabuza’s partner.” 

Sasuke nodded knowingly, having heard this from me a while ago. Maybe I should have filled Naruto in. Oh well, he knows now. Sasuke pulled out the drawing I gave him ages ago from his shorts. Huh. I would have lost that by now, so kudos to him. He placed the paper on the coffee table, only for it to get instantly snatched by Naruto. 

“Hey, this looks familiar,” he hummed, his nose scrunching up. 

“I should hope so,” Kakashi said dryly. “Since they’re a potential enemy.” 

“No, it looks really familiar. I-“

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. He automatically stood up, going to answer it. Kakashi frowned at his back, putting the crutches aside. I stood up and made sure I had all my weapons on me, just in case. 

“Oh, hey!” Naruto chirped when he opened the door. “What are you doing here?” 

I relaxed a little. 

“Your genin team is here, right?” A soft voice asked.

Immediately, I was on guard again. That’s super suspicious.

“Yeah! Do you need help?” 

Trust Naruto to rush in as a hero. 

“I’d like to speak to your teacher.” 

I frowned, glancing over at the door leading to the back porch. 

“Should I go around back?” I whispered lightly, meeting Kakashi’s eyes. 

He shook his head minutely. 

“Kaka-sensei? Um… I can ask, if you want?” 

“I’d like that, please.” 

Naruto nodded and hastily told them to wait there. He closed the door before coming back over to us, glancing at the sheet of paper he still had. 

“Crap,” he breathed. “That’s why it’s familiar.” 

Oh, fuck no. Don’t tell me what I think he means. 

“Naruto, is Forest Girl our enemy’s accomplice?” Sasuke asked tensely. 

“Forest Girl?” I mouthed, brows furrowed. 

“I swear I didn’t know before this!” He pleaded. 

Why does this shit always happen to us? I was a good man in my last life, I swear. 

“Come on, we’re all going.”

“We’re just going to confront this unknown variable?” I asked in disbelief. 

“She’s already here. Everyone we’re supposed to protect is inside this house. Better we go out than she come in.” 

He had a point. I sighed, resigning myself to bullshit bad luck for the rest of my life. 

“Alright. Okay, let’s go.” 

I was dreading having to face this mysterious person, but Kakashi was already going to the front door. I hate that there’s no armor here, I wish I could go around like an umpire. Then again, I’d probably be too slow to defend myself. The sacrifices I make for a relatively okay-ish survival chance. 

“Hi, can I help you?” Kakashi asked, entirely too pleasant. 

“My name is Haku,” the… person… introduced themselves. 

I don’t think they’re a girl, but they also don’t seem like a boy. Whatever, they can correct me when they want. If I talk to them. Doubtful. 

“About five days ago, you critically wounded my master. I’ve come now to explain our situation and offer an alliance.” 

This kid is training to be a swordsman? 

“Hmm, we’ll see. Come on minions, everyone outside.” 

Naruto was quick to strike up a conversation with Haku, but Sasuke and I kept our distance. 

“Stop bothering Haku, Naruto,” Kakashi sighed as he closed the door. “Everyone sit down.”

Kakashi sat in the only chair available, so we all opted on making a loose circle in front of him. He seemed highly amused. He gestured to Haku lazily, an expectant look on his… eye?

“As you may have guessed, Zabuza and I were hired by Gato,” they started, a self-conscious look on their face. “He offered us a lot of money, something I’ve always been skeptical about. Men like him don’t give easily, but Zabuza was blinded by the opportunities it would bring.”

“The opportunities?” 

Haku met Kakashi’s eyes briefly, visibly taking a deep breath. 

“He has a particular goal that requires a lot of funding. It will not affect you all directly and it is not a goal of malicious intent. This I can assure.”

“That’s not cryptic at all.”

“That is all I can say.” 

Kakashi hummed and gestured for them to keep going. 

“It has been four days and he has not regained his strength as he should have.” 

I almost winced in sympathy. Their face looked extremely ashamed and saddened. I can’t imagine what I would have done if Kakashi just didn’t get better. 

“Yet he insists on going through with this mission because the payoff is too good to dismiss.” Haku’s hands tightened around the hem of their clothes. “Gato is a curse and plague to this nation. I would like to cut him out, Tazuna excluded. This way Zabuza can still have the payment and this town will not be terrorized any longer.” 

“You know where Gato’s base is?” Kakashi asked with a tilted head. 

Haku nodded, their previous guilt all too evident. 

“I am stronger than every civilian criminal Gato has hired, but I am too outnumbered to go in alone. Please, help me accomplish this goal.” 

“Is Zabuza awake?” 

“Yes, though he is prone to sleeping half of the day while he recovers.” 

“You have two days to convince him to work with us. On the third, we’ll go. I can’t trust that he won’t act on his own while we’re all gone.” 

Haku nodded, their body flooding with relief. 

“Yes, absolutely. Thank you very much.” 

We watched them leave silently, almost with bated breaths. 

“We’re not actually leaving Tazuna alone, right?” I whispered. “We’ll make Naruto leave like thirty clones at least?” 

Kakashi nodded, shooting me an offended look. 

“Alright, let’s talk,” he sighed. “Pros and cons to doing this, my little gremlins.”

“Con: If we’re seen, Water Country has solid proof that Konoha sent a team into disputed territory and that we upheaved a seemingly legal business,” I shot off immediately. 

“Pro: If we don’t get seen, Konoha has a claim to the grounds once witnesses give their testimony to Gato’s business practices,” Sasuke shot right back. 

Holy shit am I in a debate right now? With Sasuke? That’s insane. 

“Pro: we save a country!” 

Oh, sweet Naruto. Summer child. Annoying thorn in my side and a moral philosopher’s best friend. 

“Con: we have no idea how many people Gato has hired. Even with six people, we could be horribly outnumbered.”

“Pro: Naruto can make as many people as Gato hired.” 

Dammit, he’s right. Even if they only take one hit to dispel, Naruto can just keep making them. Fucking chakra pool. 

“Con: doing this against the Hokage’s knowledge can lead to a suspension or demotion.”

“Pro: if we succeed, it could lead to a promotion!” 

I don’t think that’s how it works, but good try, Naruto. 

“No, at most it would lead to a mission reclassification,” Kakashi hummed. “But good try.”

Damn, we matched thoughts. That gives me the creeps. 

“Cons: we don’t know if this is an elaborate set up. For all we know, Haku and Zabuza are at full strength and the rest of Gato’s forces are waiting to pounce.” 

“Didn’t we already say we’ll just leave a lot of Naruto clones to deal with it?” 

“Do you really think one-hit durable clones can do much against an unknown group?” 

“When they pop, Naruto’ll know. We’ll go from there.” 

I sighed. I still think this is a bad idea, but it’s way too late to complain about it. We’re already here. Sasuke and Naruto are too stubborn and Kakashi will outrule me due to the majority vote. 

“Anything else?” Kakashi asked, blatantly looking at me. 

“Other than us not knowing anything about Gato’s base and any exit points he may have access to? Oh, and the chance of us making things worse by giving the Water Daimyo the power to shut Fire Country out of this territory once and for all. Not to mention the very real chance of us getting jumped by too many adversaries to take on. The element of surprise has definitely fucked over a lot of shinobi.” 

“Sakura, what would make you feel better about all of this? Because I fully agree that this should be a last resort thing, but that’s kind of the problem. If we just wait until Tazuna finishes the bridge and leave, who’s to say he won’t be killed later and Gato won’t just blow the thing up? The way I see it, this is our only option. I think you know that.” 

Ugh. I can’t believe my name is Sakura . That’s gross.

I groaned, flopping back. “I do! And that’s why it sucks! Because I’m on a team with Mr ‘grab all the glory’ and Mr ‘it’s the right thing to do’. Can’t even consider just leaving this place for them to deal with.” 

“Are you calling me a glory hog?” 

“Shut up, Sasuke. No one brought you into this,” I huffed. 

“Still haven’t answered my question.” 

“Dude, I don’t know! We’re not trained for infiltration and demolition, and to make it worse, we don’t even have a proper medic on the team.”

“You did fine making sure I didn’t die.”

“Yeah, cause you weren’t actively bleeding out, idiot. If anyone’s arteries get nicked, they’re dead.” 

“You’re so mean to me sometimes,” Kakashi sniffed. 

I’m not mean to him! He’s just dumb.

“Sakura’s mean to everyone, ‘ttatebayo.” 

“I will burn your jumpsuit, so help me God.”

“See? It’s a reflex, I think.” 

I flipped him off. 

“Be nice to your team, Sakura,” Kakashi chided. “Now, I’m not great at the mystic palm jutsu, but I’m decent enough to teach it. Naruto, from what I’ve seen, you have almost no control in your chakra, so I'd probably avoid iryo ninjutsu if I were you. Sasuke and Sakura, you both learned a high level technique that requires at least a 75% chakra control capacity. That’s good enough to learn the mystic palm as far as I’m concerned. I can’t promise either of you will learn it in two days, but hey, if it makes you feel better to try, then we’ll try.” 

I stared at him blankly. “Kakashi, most people take months learning how to do that jutsu. We’re absolutely not going to get it in two days.”

“Hey, most people take weeks on the chakra scalpel. You can do it, I believe in you both.” 

“Hey! What am I going to do?” Naruto pouted.

“You’re going to learn how to make your shadow clones disguise themselves with henge. Then you’re going to practice your reconnaissance skills. We’ll see if we can find Gato’s hideout and if your clones can sneak in.” 

“Cool!” He crowed. 

“So who’s gonna tell Tazuna that the criminals he’s trying to hide from know where he lives?” I questioned. “Not it.”

“Not it,” Sasuke and Naruto echoed.

“Boo. I haven’t known them as long as you.”

“Perfect, this way we can preserve our image and you can take responsibility of sensei duties.”

Maybe I should stop making jabs at Kakashi. He just woke up. 

“Fine, fine. Sasuke, Naruto, I want the two of you to go with Tazuna while he works on the bridge. Sakura, you and I’ll stay with Tsunami and her son.”

“Inari,” I supplied. 

The kid wasn’t particularly nice, but he was significantly less bratty than he was pre-Naruto heart to heart. 

“Right. Inari. Everyone make sure they have all their gear and anything they need while I talk to Tazuna and Tsunami.” 

Time to mindlessly sharpen my weapons! Actually, I should untangle my ninja wire. I never got around to doing that after I failed to braid it. We all went into our shared room and did various things. Sasuke obsessively read the book he refused to give back to me, Naruto made instant ramen somehow, and I worked on the ninja wire. 

I finished a few minutes before Kakashi and Tazuna showed up. Naruto and Sasuke were quick to follow Tazuna out. Naruto had yet another cup of ramen, this one chicken and sriracha flavored. I tucked my extra weapon’s pouch (the smaller one) back into my backpack and followed Kakashi out to the main area of the house. 

“So, got any advice on fighting Zabuza?” I sighed tiredly, bowing to my fate. 

“Oh, that reminds me! Here, catch,” Kakashi said while tossing a book at me, which made his warning entirely useless. 

It smacked into my chest. It hurt more than it should. Fuck. I have older sisters. I heard all their complaints. Oh fucking shit. I tried to ignore the slight sting and turned the book around warily. I felt surprise crawl up my spine. 

“Your bingo book?” 

“Yours now,” he shrugged. 

“You’re giving me a bingo book?” 

Why is this oddly touching? Why does this feel huge? I tried not to stare at Kakashi like he hung the moon. He literally just did something expected from a teacher. He has fulfilled a basic requirement of his profession. Why am I so proud? I should be bashing him for not doing more! Oh fucking shit. I swear to God if I have the misfortune of- 

No! I’m not jinxing myself. Take a deep breath, man. But not too deep. Can’t let Kakashi in on the fact that something’s wrong. I took a moderately deep breath and let it out gently, flipping through the well-worn pages. 

“What edition is this?” I asked softly.

“Last month’s. I’ve been meaning to get another one anyway, just haven’t had the time.” 

I glanced up to him, for once not in annoyance. “Thank you. I mean it.” 

He rolled his eyes. “Stop being sappy, you’re supposed to be the chihuahua.” 

“What?” I bristled. 

I fucking knew he was treating us like dogs. Fucking anti-social Hatake. 

He waved me away. “Nothing, nothing. Zabuza should be on page twelve.” 

I glared at him as I flipped through the pages until I found his picture. 

“Page seventeen, actually,” I grouched. 

“Oh no, what a grave mistake. I’m going to go see if Tsunami has food I can have.” 

“I hope you swallow a fish bone.”

“Oh Sakura, your words never fail to warm my heart.” 

Eat shit and die, you man-child. 

Said the child-man. I groaned and went to flop on the couch. Begrudgingly, I started reading Zabuza’s entry. 

Notes:

I was going to write the break-in arc in this same chapter (including the training mini-arc) but I get anxious about uploading a chapter when I’m actually writing. Would you guys rather sorta quick updates like this or would you rather wait a few weeks to have mega long chapters?

Also: rip to those of you on your second week of school. That’s very icky.

Chapter 13: Chapter 13

Summary:

Many fish suffer at the hands of a shark.

And genin with no experience.

Kakashi woke us up ungodly early the next day. 

“Sakura, for the last time, nine am is not early. At all.”

“The hell it’s not,” I hissed. 

Naruto nodded along with me, just as tired. 

“You two are children,” Sasuke said haughtily.

“Oh, shut up you actual child. You’re the definition of terrible twos.” 

Sasuke spiked up like a cat, his shoulders hiking up to his ears. 

“At least I’m not-“

Kakashi's hand muffled whatever Sasuke was saying, his long suffering expression turning prickled and irritated. 

“Don’t say that kind of thing,” Kakashi glared, pinching Sasuke’s cheek. “Bad.”

“See, Sasuke? Clearly you need a snickers.” 

“A what?” 

“You know! A bar of chocolate but inside is a layer of caramel, peanuts, and probably cookies too.”

“That sounds absolutely disgusting.” 

“Just like your ugly face?” 

“Ooh, burn! Just like the ones your kid-self got on your hands,” Naruto cackled. 

“Stop encouraging her, Naruto.”

“Stop stifling my artistic energy, old man!” I snapped, my vision blurry with sleep. 

“Oh? So I guess that none of you want to start working on new skills today.” 

“Shut up you morons,” Sasuke hissed. 

He really is just a cranky cat. Not a cute one, those old ones with huge shoulders and skinny legs. His fur probably isn’t even soft. His ears are probably way too big for his face. Goofy guy.

Damn. I want a cat. No, no. I can barely take care of the plant I have on my balcony. Oh my God, my plant! Is it okay? I watered it before I left but it’s been days. Oh no. It’s already been nearly a week, how much longer can this mission take? My precious groceries! My plant! My-

Actually there isn’t much more than that. I’ve yet to go furniture shopping and I only have those things to be mindful of. I blinked, turning my head to the left. 

“Did you just shove me?” I questioned Naruto, a little betrayed. 

“You were looking off into space,” he shrugged. 

Hmph.

“Thanks, I guess,” I mumbled. 

He grinned, visibly much more ready for the day than me. Damn him and his ability to manifest sunshine. Mostly, damn morning for coming at all. I shouldn’t have slept so late, but I got used to waking up in the middle of the night to check on Kakashi. Not that I could get a good night’s sleep in an unfamiliar area. It doesn’t help that Naruto moves a lot in his sleep. Why am I a light sleeper? I used to sleep like a rock. 

Another drawback I’ve inherited from Sakura’s former existence. 

“Don’t fall behind,” Kakashi’s idle voice brought me back to the present. 

Shit, when did I start moving? Guess I’ve been subconsciously following the team. I have to get my head in the game. I wish I had a way to listen to music in this world. I’d totally be listening to Welcome To The Jungle right now. That’s always the intro to some sort of training montage, right? 

“Alright. I’m going to work with Naruto first. In the meantime, you and Sakura need to read over this scroll. It goes more into detail about the mystic palm jutsu. Naruto, follow me.”

Kakashi tossed the tightly-bound scroll to Sasuke and ushered Naruto a little further into the clearing. Sasuke was already unfurling the scroll while Naruto popped two clones into existence. I watched a little longer before I wandered over to Sasuke and sat next to him. He ignored my presence. I didn’t mind.

I read over his shoulder for the most part, but quickly grew bored. 

I knew the foundational theories on how the mystic palm was supposed to work. Sakura had briefly considered the life of a medic-nin before she decided her true calling was directly bashing in other’s skulls. Of course that meant she researched the hell out of medical ninjutsu. The Senju clan was particularly well known for their innovation in the field, which was a common fact. 

There’s never been anything to prove why, but many people have theorized that it had to do with their natural inclination towards the sage arts. Although it was rare for any Senju to awaken the gift of wood manipulation, most were especially keen with senjutsu and all that accompanied it. This natural inclination towards a more ‘natural’ form of chakra, in theory, made the ability to differentiate ‘healing’ chakra between raw chakra. 

Of course, almost the entire clan is dead so there’s no way to prove a thing. Well. That sucks for them. Hey, maybe Sasuke and Lady Tsunade can make a ‘last surviving member’ club. Better never say that to his face. Sasuke can only tolerate so much. In fact, let’s put a pin in those thoughts, eh? I wouldn’t be surprised if Ms. Senju could telepathically hear me talking shit about her. She’s got a temper that speaks for itself and I’d rather not mess with it. 

Legend says she can throw ten men with just the tips of her nails. 

I glanced back at the scroll, trying to jog my memory. 

The chakra used in the mystic palm jutsu is significantly less dense than raw chakra. It has to be gentle and have a stronger tensile to be able to encourage cell growth, mend tears, and third thing. I yawned, turning away from Sasuke. The hand signs to the mystic palm jutsu are mainly there to lighten your chakra for a point of reference. People with good chakra control or a strong connection to their chakra usually slowly weaned off the need to use them since they’d get used to the pattern their chakra would follow to make it work. 

I wondered how long I’d take to get it down. I’m always aware of my chakra and what it feels like, so it can’t take that long. I turned back to the scroll to see the hand signs at the bottom of it and started to practice, getting used to the pattern. Sasuke glanced at me and rolled his eyes. 

“What are you, three?” 

I rolled my eyes right back. “No. I’m just not as arrogant as a certain clan child I have the displeasure of knowing.”

He scoffed and went back to reading the scroll. God, Sasuke’s an annoying brat. He has little sister energy. I would know. Mine was a menace. I fed a bit of chakra into the jutsu, curious to see its effects. The answer was almost nothing. My chakra became… slippier? It was very hard to tell. I gradually added more chakra, watching in interest as my hand was coated in a light blue sheen. 

I brought my other hand up to it, fascinated. It felt cool and slimy. Like aloe vera. It had no effect on me. Curiously, I placed my hand on Sasuke’s arm. He jolted away, sharply glaring at me and down at my hand. 

“What the hell?” He wiped his arm, seemingly miffed that it came back dry. “Don’t do that again, it felt like a spiky slug was climbing on me.”

I shrugged, no longer channeling chakra to my hand. That sounds like I need to sneak up on Naruto and do it to his neck. I glanced up, my neck tingling with warning. I saw Kakashi toss a shuriken towards us and sighed, unconsciously bringing my hand up to catch it. My stupidity caught up to me the moment I touched the blade. 

“This isn’t even close to sharp enough,” I blurted, looking at my hand and finding it amazingly uncut. “I mean, really. Weapon care 101.”

I tossed it back, my mind still reeling a little. A puff of smoke appeared next to Kakashi when I tossed it back. 

“Ugh, I should have guessed. First successful clone transformation?” I asked, taking in Naruto’s grin. 

He nodded excitedly. “We’re moving on to living things!” 

“Well, have fun with that.” 

I caught Sasuke staring at Naruto, his expression pensive and severe. Is he still rolling with that inferiority complex? He needs to sort that out. My eyes shifted to Kakashi. Nah, it’s his job. I’m not going to willingly have this conversation with Sasuke. I ran through the hand signs again, this time adding a good amount of chakra from the get-go. 

The energy that encased my hand was some sort of sea-sick green. It was an unpleasant feeling, almost translating the taste of copper as a sensation. No, scratch that. It felt like I bit into tinfoil. I cut off my chakra with disgust, my face screwed up to reflect it. How does chakra translate into taste?! That’s so unfair. Sasuke tried from beside me, a frustrated crinkle appearing between his brows. 

He probably has to figure out how to get the chakra out enough. There was an extremely thin sheen of chakra around his hands, so faint that it could have passed for clear latex gloves. Maybe he wasn’t putting enough chakra. Maybe I was using too much? That shouldn’t be possible, though. I probably just had to get acclimated. Once I get it down with a little bit of chakra, it’ll work with any amount. 

At least I hope so. My next attempt brought grass-green chakra to my hands. My palms were immediately sweaty with the heat of it. I cut it off. That seems… more dangerous than tasting metal. If I could feel the heat… That means I’m somehow out of tune with my chakra, right? Because normally, medics can’t feel their own chakra when they use the technique. At most it’s a little colder, but it’s theirs and therefore welcome. 

Stupid self chakra awareness. It’s not even a useful skill (well-). I huffed, glaring at my hands too. Sasuke and I glanced at each other, sharing a look of utter annoyance. We tried a few more times before Kakashi came over with a raised brow. 

“Look at that, you both already got your chakra covering your hands. Told you you’d progress quickly.”

“This is step one,” Sasuke said dryly.

“Yep,” Kakashi popped the p. He didn’t bother elaborating. 

Sasuke and I rolled our eyes. 

“It feels wrong,” I frowned. 

“Feels wrong?” Sasuke asked. “You can feel it?” 

“We’ve gone over this, Sasuke,” I sighed. “I can very clearly feel my chakra. Density, volume, texture. You name it and I can probably feel it.”

Kakashi hummed, an interested look on his face. “Is that so? We’ll have to explore that a bit later. In the meantime, keep trying until you get the right overall color. Then we’ll move on to application.”

“Hopefully not on ourselves?” I asked, just to make sure. 

“What? Of course not,” Kakashi said, baffled. 

“Okay, good. I was just checking.”

“Kami, you really don’t think much of me,” Kakashi ‘tsked’, shaking his head. 

I glanced at his eye and grimaced. He looked… too genuine. I looked away. 

“Okay, so what are we practicing on?” Sasuke asked when the silence stretched a little too long. 

“Ah… fish?”

Why did he phrase that like a question? Had he even thought this far away? 

“All right, illustrious leader o’ mine,” I drawled. “Fetch the fish.”

“Maa, that seems more like a task for you two, doesn’t it? I think I’ll go check on Naruto while you two get to that.”

I cursed under my breath. “Worth a shot,” I mumbled. 

Sasuke rolled his eyes and stood, tossing the scroll at me. He went over to the small creek that bisected the forest. I glanced through the scroll one last time before following him. 

Kakashi appeared behind us in a swirl of leaves, just a few seconds after both Sasuke and I had found our targets. 

“A lizard? Really, Sakura?” He sighed. 

“What?! He’s already got a broken leg and everything,” I complained. 

“Sakura, I’ll fix it. You’ll just fry it.” He held out an expecting hand. 

I clicked my tongue and handed him over, reluctantly sticking my hand in the water and using my chakra to lure a fish. Ugh, the texture of fish is always so weird, no matter how small it is. Kakashi had encased the small lizard with his hands, a steady mint-green aura presumably healing it. Sasuke and I watched closely, as if the visual alone would guide us in the right direction. Of course, it didn’t exactly help. 

The lizard scuttled away the moment Kakashi put it down. Lucky bastard. 

“Put the fish down on the grass. The goal is to restore enough of its cells to promote muscle movement again. Once you succeed, you can toss it back into the creek.” 

“What if we don’t succeed?” Sasuke asked pointedly. 

Kakashi shrugged. “Free lunch?” 

“Disgusting,” I muttered. “Cooked before cleaning.” 

He waved one of his hands before looking at us. “Alright, let me see the technique before you use it.”

Sasuke’s technique was a little dimmer than Kakashi’s was, and mine was a bit too dark. 

“Good enough,” Kakashi declared, shrugging. “What’s the worst that can happen?” 

Two minutes later, Sasuke’s fish looked like it was struck with lightning and mine was… on fire. Kakashi stared at the scene blankly before he inched closer to toe the fish into the river. Well, at least the fire got put out. 

He clapped his hands together, a false smile outlined on his mask. “Alright! Great try, great try. Why don’t we try again?” 

We tried again and again and, surprise, tried again. At least my fish stopped bursting into flames after the fifth try. Instead they got away with becoming charred semblances of what they used to be. Unfortunately, Sasuke’s seventh try sparked up next. Kakashi was doing his damndest to keep an eye on us and Naruto without having to resort to using a clone. I shot him an empathetic look, trying to restrict my testing to when he was hovering over us. 

Sasuke gave him no such courtesy. I watched his fish give its last dying breaths (chokes, really) and solemnly sent out a small prayer for it. May it become something mighty in its next life. Unlike the other fish that Sasuke had been steadily burning to ash, I gave this one the dignity of a burial. Kakashi returned as I was giving a silent obituary to it.

“No fires?” He checked wearily. 

“None at all, Sergeant Major,” I sighed mournfully. “For the best, of course.”

He looked at me and to the fresh patch of dirt I was kneeled in front of. He didn’t ask, which is a bit of a shame. 

“Alright, show me your progress,” he sighed, almost resigned. 

Sasuke didn’t hesitate to try again. Rapid waves of steam came off his fish, turning his hands a bit pink before he moved them away and cut off the just. 

“Well,” Kakashi said warily. “At least you’re not destroying the outside anymore.” 

Huh. That’s a good point. I’ve just been applying my chakra directly onto the fish and expecting it to sink into it and fix it, but what if my chakra doesn’t know how? I grabbed another fish from the creek, silently apologizing for potentially ruining an ecosystem, and tested my theory. 

I was extra attentive to my chakra distribution and placed my hands mere centimeters above the fish. I focused on visualizing the inside parts of the fish and tried to direct my chakra instead of expecting it to just work. Kakashi watched closely, something calculating passing through his eye. 

I brought my focus back to the fish. I tried to push my chakra under the skin without breaking it and went over how different cells work. I didn’t care for fat cells at the moment, that sort of thing was cosmetic. 

“Um, maybe you should stop?” Kakashi wavered from behind me. 

I glared at the fish, tuning into my chakra. “No, no. I think I get it.”

I could feel some resistance to my chakra. I didn’t let it stop me. 

“Sakura, you really should stop,” he argued some more. 

“Shhh.”

Almost there… something in the fish gave out. I gasped, my hands quickly coming up to cover my face. 

“And that’s why I told you to stop.”

I shook my hands out, a disgusted look on my face as I watched semi-cooked but mainly raw fish fly about. 

“You know sensei, you really could have said: that fish is about to explode, Sam. You need to stop.” I turned to glare at him.

“Sam?” He asked, faintly surprised. 

My glare slipped away. “Sakura. Whatever, same thing.” I tried for indifference, but I was too reluctant to fool anyone. “I’m done for today. I’m going to go shower and see if Tazuna needs help with anything.” 

I resolutely did not turn back to see how they reacted. I could hear Kakashi clear his throat and usher Sasuke closer to where he left Naruto. I didn’t quite relax until I was walking into Tazuna’s house. I robotically went to get a change of clothes (I need to do laundry. I’ll have to ask Tsunami about it) and tried not to look down at the fish guts stuck on my dark blue shirt. 

My chest feels tight. I’m stuck in the middle of the urge to hysterically cry and the urge to shove it all down into the garbage disposal. Some buried part of me, a part inherited from trauma, is disgusted with the emotions that overwhelm me. My hysteria slowly blends into anger. I grit my teeth and peel my clothes off, resolutely not thinking about my body. 

But I take off my shirt and remember that I’m wearing a bra. Hysteria wins over. I hiccup quietly, snot forming all too quickly. I turn on the shower and step into the freezing cold water, hoping that the noise would cover my sobs. I haven’t taken off the stupid bra. I can’t bring myself too. Not wearing it feels almost worse. 

I don’t know how long I sat in the shower, but my tears had long turned into low-simmering rage. All I could feel was absolute shame. That, and a raging headache. I took a shuddering breath and peeled the stupid binder off me, grimacing at the water that smacked onto Sakura’s chest. 

I sat still for another while. I didn’t move until my thoughts went staticky. I changed automatically, avoiding the mirror and porcelain. I didn’t even look at the window. The rest of my day was a blur. I remember following Tazuna onto the bridge and I know I was exclusively focused on him for that amount of time, but I couldn’t remember anything specific. That was probably for the better. 

We came home. Naruto was chattering about what he’s learned today while we ate. His stories easily filtered in as background noise for me. I took a sip of the broth of the soup Tsunami made for us. It was hot. I kept eating anyway. 

That night I slept like a rock. I woke up feeling like shit, naturally. I had a migraine and none of the fun that usually came before it. I was up before Naruto and Sasuke (never Kakashi) and was oddly thankful for the fact. 

Unfortunately it meant that I was up at the ass crack of dawn, but a quiet morning is what I need right now. I stumbled through the house until I made it outside, exhausted and overwhelmed with sounds. Tsunami was cooking, Inari was complaining to Tazuna, the stench of fish and alcohol clung to the house like a second skin. It was too much. 

I walked outside to the small patch of forest by the house and pressed my palms against my eyes to block out the sun. It worked, but it also meant that I tripped and rolled onto the grass. I groaned and swallowed back a bit of bile, but made no effort to stand up. The breeze cooled me down, at least. Now if only this splitting headache would buzz off. 

I kept my breathing shallow. Everything was… God. I wish I had something to distract me. I wish I could have some comforts from home. Not from my apartment, but from my actual house. I’d kill to read through my old comic book collection one more time. It was mostly Captain America and The Flash. I miss tv. I miss hangover cures. I took in a shuddering breath. 

Fuck, I miss my family. 

I laid silently, engulfing myself in memories I didn’t know would feel so precious. The tender moment ended when I remembered my younger brother, Caleb, decapitating his he-man doll (sorry, action figure ) and using it like a chew toy. He nearly swallowed the thing, dumb kid. He was eleven when he did this, by the way. 

Something nudged my foot. I sat up and glanced, unimpressed, at Kakashi. 

“What?” I asked flatly.

“Come on, we’re going to continue what we started yesterday.” 

I stood up and followed wordlessly. I couldn’t muster up the energy to talk to the boys today. Sasuke and I got to our work silently, a good distance away from each other. I should try, shouldn’t I? I flexed my jaw and found no words to give. I focused on my hands and discarded the fish I had steamed. I was gradually decreasing the temperature my chakra ran at, but it was difficult to tell how successful I was without cutting open the fish. 

All I knew is that Sasuke’s fish were a lot more cooked than mine. He was clearly frustrated, but I doubted anything I could say would make him feel better. He wanted results, not understanding words. I couldn’t help him do something I didn’t know how. 

My stomach was growling a few hours later, angrily reprimanding me for skipping out on breakfast. I can’t even imagine eating fish right now. The smell is stuck to my clothes and under my nails. I took a ten minute break, walking away from the creek and dropping onto a soft patch of grass. 

I lifted my head when soft footsteps approached me. Neither Naruto or Sasuke walked that carefully. I raised a brow at the kid in front of me. They make me feel underdressed. 

“Haku, yes?”

They nod. 

“I assume you come bearing news?” 

I hope so. I don’t have weapons on me and I’m not inclined to get up. A swirl of leaves blocked my view for a moment before Kakashi’s legs took my line of sight. I scowled at his back and rolled to the other side. He moved so he was still mainly in front of me. 

They tilted their head, meeting my eyes before they looked up at Kakashi. “Shishou has agreed.”

“Does he want to discuss anything with us?” 

Haku nodded, their neat hair swaying past their ears. “Tomorrow morning at around six. Gato’s men typically don’t start their day until at least eight. I will guide you to a half point.” 

“We’ll be there,” Kakashi assured. 

Haku inclined their head once more before disappearing in a spray of mist. 

“That version is so much cooler,” I sighed longingly. 

“It’s less practical,” Kakashi rebuked. “There’s leaves everywhere.”

I hummed, not saying anything about that. “Do you really think this is the only thing we can do?” 

He sighed, tilting his head up. “It’s the only thing we can do to permanently fix this.” 

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out, some tension draining from my body. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “I know.”

Notes:

Do you guys want to see Naruto’s training or nah

I’m still on the fence about one shots in other character’s povs

Chapter 14: Chapter 14: End of Wave Arc (Thank Fuck)

Summary:

Sam and the team commit very mild crimes

Notes:

I apologize in advanced :-D

I went to bed early that night. Eight pm early. Kakashi woke us up at four. The sun was far from out and I was inches away from bailing on the mission to sleep. 

“Honestly, Sakura,” Kakashi chided. “You’re starting to make me think you’re a long lost Nara.” 

“Why am I getting picked on?” I complained. “Naruto’s as dead on his feet as I am.”

Naruto grunted in response to hearing his names, his eyes glassy. Kakashi redirected him before he could walk straight into a tree. Case in point! I pursed my lips as Kakashi’s other hand did the same for me. 

“Naruto snaps back in twenty minutes. You’re tired all the time,” Sasuke points out, inorandarily put together. 

Damn him and his tendency to be an early riser. I stuck my tongue out at him. No one trustworthy is a morning person. Kakashi lead us to the same clearing we’d been going to for the last two days. 

“Naruto, send some clones and hide them around. Sasuke, Sakura, show me your progress.”

I groaned. Fish. I’m never eating it again after this. At least not for a while. I waded into the water, cringing at the cold shock my feet and calves picked up. At least it served to wake me up. Sasuke smartly chose to use chakra to walk over the water. I mentally groaned. I’m so stupid. 

I used chakra to kick a fish up and caught it once it launched up from the water. I’m never going to get used to the slick texture of fresh fish. Sasuke glared at me for splashing water around. I rolled my eyes at him and walked back to the clearing, tossing the fish onto the floor. 

“That’s rude,” Kakashi hummed, flipping a page in his book.  

Hasn't he read that thing seven times over by now? 

“Your face is-“

“Yes yes, I think we all know what you think our faces are,” Kakashi sighed. 

And I’m the rude one? This guy’s worse than the interruption cow. Oh God, I just made a joke my older brother would have. How far have I fallen? I flinched back as a kunai was embedded into the middle of my fish. I turned sharply, a flat glare falling onto Sasuke. He shrugged, shoving a shuriken into his own fish.

“It’s faster this way.” 

“Fish killer,” I muttered, crouching down to gently pull out the knife. 

Poor little guy. He had a very low survival rate before Sasuke decided to just…. Impale him. Now it’s down to single digits. 

“Well, if either of you want to even pretend to care about succeeding this time, you should get to it before long. Not even chakra can cure death.” 

I grouched and grimaced at the streaks of blood on my hands, calling up my chakra in the familiar pattern Kakashi had forced us to learn. I held my hand over the fish and felt my jaw slack as it actually started to heal. The skin of the fish slowly knitted itself back together and it took struggling gasps. The gasps died out soon, though. I had healed the outside of the fish, but the insides were still just as steamed as they’d been for the last two days. 

I clicked my tongue and frowned. I was getting closer at least. Kakashi patted my head and nodded at me. He crouched down to examine Sasuke’s unhealed and very grilled fish, seemingly at a loss for words. 

“You’ll get there, champ,” he settled for uncertainly. 

God, I've never seen someone as bad with children as Kakashi. Sasuke shot him a scathing look, one he soon redirected at my healed (but equally dead) fish. He growled at his and returned to the river. 

“Alright,” Kakashi said with furrowed brows. “I’ll just… go see where Naruto’s hiding.” 

“You do that, bud,” I deadpanned. 

He nodded and absentmindedly told me to keep an eye on Sasuke. I glanced over at him in time to watch him stab another fish. Nope. This is my time to nap. 

“Don’t even think about it, dattebayo.”

I paused and looked around. 

“Naruto?” I asked wearily, not seeing him anywhere.

He giggled. The sound was oddly detached. This is freaky. I looked around again, this time keeping an eye out for anything that might be out of place. My eyes settled on a flower that shouldn’t be in Wave. Coneflowers grow well in fire country, but not in places like this. Not only is the ocean water too high in saline, but the frequency in which it rains here hurts these plants. They do better in dry lands. Look at that, Sakura’s monotonous kunoichi classes were useful somehow. 

“Next time try a patch of moss rose or lantana,” I suggested with a raised brow. “Those are native around here. Plus, multiple flowers are usually more natural looking than one.”

“Darn, now I have to hide again. Don’t tell Kakashi-sensei I’m here, okay?” 

Naruto briefly untransformed and ran deeper into the forest. I could only hope he took my advice. Actually, I hope he knows what those flowers look like in the first place. As far as I know, though, Naruto never took the optional classes that were mandatory for us with female genitalia. Still have no clue why the classes were divided that way. Most healer shinobi are men, though I will say the poison corps has a staggering amount of women. Maybe that’s why. 

Unassuming people with access to deadly liquid. 

A good strategy, all things considered. Too bad Sakura sticks out like a sore thumb. Pink hair, bright green eyes. Thankfully I got rid of that dress as soon as I could. Maybe if I dyed my hair brown, or something. Do contacts exist in this world? They’ve got to, right? No way there’s some ninja that run around with glasses. Well. Aburame are different. I think the dark lenses are essential to keeping their beetle colonies happy in them. 

Damn that’s weird. That’s probably also why they cover up head to toe. Nobody wants to see all the tiny holes their bugs made in their bodies open up just to swarm an enemy. That does sound pretty cool though. It’s cool, in theory. I don’t want to test it out though. I’m not sure how much time passed before Haku showed up, but by then all of us had gathered to wait. 

“And Zabuza?” Kakashi asked, deliberately blasé. 

“Near Gato’s hideout.”

Kakashi didn’t say anything, but it was obvious he didn’t believe that. He glanced at Naruto meaningfully. Naruto shot him a quick thumbs up. Had he actually made Naruto look for it? Or is that just to signal that the house is cleared? I wouldn’t ask. It’s not my business, and the less people that know, the better. I shoved my theories out of the way and focused on the land we were walking through. 

Man, this whole place is stupid depressing. I think we’ve only gotten three hours of pure sun this last week. It’s like home, but dialed to eleven on the storm factor. At least it wasn’t actively raining, but obviously it was only a matter of time. I wish I had a stupid storage scroll to keep stupid rain-proof clothes in. 

We were edging around the town, not quite going in, but still close enough to spot the people who had no shelter to hide under. I grimaced and wondered just how much Gato had taken from these poor people. Building up the town was going to take some serious work, and I was willing to bet that a lot of them wouldn’t be able to go back to normal. Food insecurity and lack of housing is beyond traumatizing. I doubt they’re suddenly going to invest in therapists to help everyone out. 

No, the first thing to focus on is trade deals so the town gets what it needs. Would they even establish housing laws to help each other? Is the market going to flood and crash? I bit the inside of my cheek as I thought. How would this town stabilize as its biggest threat got smeared against the soil? Because there’s absolutely no way we’re letting that asshole live. This is the issue with far-away government. Everyone falls under the rule of people who can’t enforce it. Is there even a police department here? 

Christ, how does this place survive without any direct orders? How aware are they of the laws the Daimyo sets? What if there used to be a police department and it just crumpled under Gato’s rule? Is this town strong enough to bounce back from it? 

“Sakura, focus,” Kakashi chides. 

“I’m thinking thoughts of important stuff,” I sniffed. 

“What, like your next nap?” Sasuke muttered, his eyes jumping from thing to thing. 

“No, asshole.” I rolled my eyes. 

“Care to expand?” He challenged. 

“Not to you.” 

Man, Sasuke can be so freakin’ annoying. Fucking teenagers. I felt a twist in my stomach, a tightening that was very uncomfortable. Oh god. No, don’t tell me. It’s me. I’m becoming the annoying teenager. Stop. No. This can’t possibly be happening! 

“So, what are you thinking about?” Naruto asked, intently staring at Haku’s back. 

“Wave’s crashing economy, the inevitable housing crisis, nonexistent law enforcement, and the all time low mental health of the community,” I hummed. 

“Huh?” Naruto paused his staring to squint at me. 

“You asked,” I shrugged. 

“It’s a valid line of thought, but ultimately not in our hands. I’ll bring it up to the Hokage once we return,” Kakashi interjected helpfully. 

“Hey, thanks.” 

Maybe he’s alright after all. Maybe. I let out a slow breath as Haku led us deeper into the forest and near a singular building. It was surprisingly nondescript. Or at least, it would be, if the rest of the village was healthy. As it stood, Gato could very well market that apartment building as the fucking Four Seasons. A tight curl of disgust settled in my stomach. Man, I’m going to punch the shit out of this guy. 

“Took you all long enough,” Zabuza huffed, casually leaning against a branch in a tree. 

“You already used that entrance, get something new,” Naruto complained. 

“Word,” I nodded, offering a fist bump. 

Like a true bro, he immediately met me halfway. Reason seven thousand why Naruto’s the best person on this team. Zabuza sneered at us, looking down his nose. 

“Children like you are exactly why I always refused genin teams,” he said distastefully. 

“Dude, you’re the one fighting with literal children right now. That’s embarrassing. I doubt you were a good candidate to begin with.” 

Kakashi pat my head. “Getting a bit ahead of yourself.”

I squinted at him. “Nah, I bet you’re in the same boat. Let me guess, you were doing intense shit and forced to ‘relax’ by getting a genin team?” 

Kakashi winced.

“Nailed it. I’m so rad. Look at all the inferences I can make.”

“Rad?” Naruto mouthed. 

“Didn’t know you knew a word that complicated.” 

Fucking Sasuke. “Suck my di-“

Kakashi slapped his hand over my mouth in exasperation, but did very little to hide the fact that I clearly trash talked Sasuke. 

“You licking my hand does nothing,” Kakashi said flatly. “I’m wearing gloves, genius.” 

I huffed and waited until he finally removed his stupid hand. It unfortunately meant that I couldn’t scowl at Zabuza’s smug ass. God, what a creepy dude. 

“Behave yourself,” he warned. 

I rolled my eyes. “I’m always behaved.” 

He held up his palm with a dry look, the leather clearly moist with kid-spit. 

“Mess with fire, you’re gonna get burned,” I huffed.

Honestly, what did he expect? 

“If your… student… is done being…” Zabuza trailed off, waving a hand in my general direction. 

Kakashi’s jaw flexed under his mask, his eye squinting shut with its movement. Did… did he just bare his teeth at Zabuza? I- why am I so touched? Oh my God. Isn’t hissing more of a cat thing though? 

“So you actually have a plan?” He drawled, completely casual. 

Are we going to pretend that we don’t know what he just did? Maybe no one else does, but I know about those throat-rippers hidden past his mouth. Does he have pack instincts? Okay, I need to not think of this as cute. If I did, every single Inuzuka in the village would hang me by my tonsils. 

“What’s there to plan? Get in, don’t get spotted, start the slaughter.” 

Kakashi’s shoulders tensed, his eyes jumping from me to the boys behind me. 

“Right, so what happens then? You ignore whatever shady deals Gato has set up and wait for some foreign terrorists to invade Wave when their deals fall through?” I rolled my eyes. 

Haku bristled, visibly annoyed the way Kakashi had been when Zabuza insulted me. Man. Shinobi have attachment issues, don’t they? I think it’s a fair question, though. 

“Whatever happens after doesn’t concern me,” he shrugged. 

“Oh, great. I guess this is going to fall on us with morals, huh.” Fan-fucking-tastic. 

Kakashi patted my shoulder consolingly. 

“You know where Gato’s office is?” Kakashi asked. 

Zabuza grunted and nodded, finally deigning to jump out the tree. 

“The fucker’s always in there unless he’s sleeping. As lazy as all his idiots are, he wakes up early as hell to deal with paperwork. I’d suggest hitting his office last.” 

Kakashi glanced at us again, his lips pursed. “I’m not letting the kids branch off.”

Zabuza snorted unkindly. “What, they that fuckin’ useless?” 

We’re as useless as you are handsome, bud. That is to say: not at all. 

“We can handle it, sensei,” Naruto sniffed indignantly. “Just gotta tie ‘em up for ya, right?” He gave a wolfish grin. 

I shuddered. Naruto is good at a handful of things. For whatever reason, home alone-ing people is one of them. Top of the list, almost. Second only to making people feel like shit for being assholes. 

“As much as I hate to admit it,” I sighed heavily, pausing before having to pay Naruto a compliment. “Naruto did get a lot of shinobi above his level in weird situations back in the academy.” 

“And Sakura’s clearly not afraid to cut off human appendages,” Sasuke snarked. 

“You’re seriously not letting that go?” I whined. “It’s not my fault the opportunity presented itself.”

Kakashi rubbed his temples and took a deep breath. “Fine, but two of you have to be together at all times. No going off on your own.”

“For the record, you’re fully allowed to go off by yourself. I know you’re smart enough not to get caught,” Zabuza told Haku loudly. 

Oh fuck off. 

“Oh, so who’s gonna babysit you?” I muttered under my breath. 

Haku and Zabuza were too busy staring at each other’s eyes proudly to answer my jab. Ugh. Student teacher pride. This is really gross. It’s too… syrupy. Zabuza looked away first, thank God. I might actually throw up. At least they didn’t- I shuddered. Hug. That would be the worst. 

Kakashi asked Zabuza to draw a rough layout of the apartment building. They pretended they weren’t actively sizing each other up while this happened. I took the time to step a bit closer to the building, trying to see if I could get access to the inside without having to enter through the front doors. They probably had some type of guard, right? So the door is a huge no. I’m surprised the windows aren’t boarded up. 

Is it arrogance or do they have people guarding them too? It would probably be best to go through an upper floor. Maybe the third. That would make combing through the building more difficult. God, I’m really not suited to strategizing. We couldn’t see the front of the apartments from where we were. The doors faced the town, I could only assume it was for easy access. There were wooden crates lining the back of the building, storing who knows what. I could only assume it was some type of drug. That’s what it always came back to, right? Weapons, drugs, money. People. I’d rather take part in a drug bust than the dismantaling of a human trafficking ring any day of the week. 

In my peripherals, I kept a close eye on Haku. I know they’re the one that proposed this joint-mission thing, but that didn’t stop them from being an enemy. I had to be ready for the chance of them throwing a kunai at my head. Especially Zabuza and his stupid-ass sword. It was famously excellent at cutting off heads. It’s still one of the lamest swords from the Seven though. Fucking loser. The other wall that we could see was also lined with crates, though not as many. They were smaller. There’s no way there’s just stuff outside with no protection. Unless those were for shipping purposes. I glanced past the building where I could just see the edge of the water and a shiny boat. Yeah, that would make sense. Some of those crates are big though. What in the world could Gato be sending off? 

I glanced back at my team, frowning as Naruto and Haku chatted quietly and Sasuke oversaw them both. He shouldn’t get too close to them. Clearly they’re untrustworthy. A team’s first duty should always be each other. Reluctantly, I traveled closer to the team. I stationed myself evenly behind Kakashi and Zabuza, both of which were hunched over a scroll. 

“Do you know what Gato’s shipping? Or to who?” 

“Not a clue. Despite being such a scumbag, the guy runs a tight ship. All of his affairs are neatly divided,” Zabuza muttered offhandedly, adjusting a few lines in the drawing he’d made. 

I frowned. Great. I hate surprises. Best case scenario, it’s just materials like ores or something. Then again, when has this world bothered giving me the best case scenario? I shouldn’t get my hopes up. I rubbed my neck, feeling my hair start to curl at the base. I’d have to get a trim when I got home. 

“How’s the planning going?” 

“Those two can just walk in, since Gato’s expecting them anyway,” Kakashi said with narrowed eyes. “I’ll place a genjutsu to hide us. At that point, we’ll need to incapacitate those around. Non-lethal. If you can’t knock them out, make sure they can’t move or speak.” 

“Any means necessary at that point?” I asked. 

Kakashi gave me an annoyed look. I held up my hands defensively. Geez, I was only asking. You know, if there's hell in this world, I- Hmm… Would I qualify for hell in a world where murder is expected? Technically these aren’t my neighbors, either. Could God really fault me for acclimating? Probably, but also, the big guy isn’t exactly against murder. Pretty sure he’s smited his fair bit of plebs. I glanced at the sky warily, just making sure there wasn’t a sudden storm coming in. Does he have power here? Is he… I don’t even want to imagine that. I like my insides where they are. 

“Make sure it doesn’t happen,” he said in a warning tone. 

“You make me sound trigger-happy,” I grouched. 

Everyone in the clearing gave me a pointed look. 

“It was one time for fuck’s sake!” 

“You see how you immediately knew what we were thinking about? Yeah, that says a lot,” Sasuke said smugly.

I flapped my hand open and closed for a moment before I flipped him off. “Go suck a lemon.”

Kakashi sighed harshly. “You have to stop that.” 

My eyes widened, a little piece of comprehension clicking together. “Oh. Shit, yeah, no. Sorry, I’ll back off.”

At least for now. Mission, comradery. How is Sasuke supposed to believe I have his back if all I do is shit talk him? 

I ran a hand over my face and grudgingly faced Sasuke. “You’re annoying, but you’re team. That means I’ve got you.”

“Wow, thanks,” He sassed. “That means so much to me I could absolutely cry.” 

“Hey, don’t be a teme to Sakura-chan,” Naruto punched Sasuke’s shoulder. “And she’s right. We’re a team! We gotta look out for each other.” 

Zabuza gagged. I glared at his back. Why can’t he wear a shirt like a normal person, hm? Does Haku use all their clothes budget on their fancy getup? Actually, that makes too much sense. Oh, gross. Kakashi looks stupid proud. 

“This is getting too touchy-feely for me,” I complained. “I just meant that I’d stab someone for you, that’s all.” 

Naruto sniffed loudly, pressing a palm against his chest. “I’d stab someone for you too!” 

“Step on a cactus,” I shot back, my shoulders hiking up as my jaw clenched. 

“Why are you so allergic to emotion?” Kakashi sighed. 

“I don’t know, why are you such a loser?”

“That was weak,” Sasuke clicked his tongue. 

“Am I getting ganged up on right now?” I bristled. 

“It’s for your own good,” Naruto nodded solemnly. 

“It’s about as good for me as a lobotomy, that’s what it is,” I frowned. 

“I agree,” Zabuza interrupted. “Can we get a move on? We don’t have all day.”

“Go on then,” Kakashi shooed. “Get to it.” 

Zabuza rolled his eyes and turned promptly, Haku following after him like a duckling would. And he says we’re emotionally gross? I mean we are, but don’t be a hypocrite about it. Kakashi told us to stick to a tight formation while he genjutsu-d us under the radar. Obviously he said it because I was planning on showing up minutes after them. He really ruined my plans there. 

“Stop looking sarcastic,” Sasuke whispered under his breath as we moved closer to the entrance. 

“Didn’t know you stared at me long enough to tell what I’m thinking, Sasuke-kun,” I whispered back. 

He didn’t dignify my teasing with a response. Boring. I stifled a yawn as we watched Zabuza and Haku greet the tired shinobi on watch. Huh. I squinted at their faces and found nothing that rung any bells. They probably weren’t important. Who knows what village they came from, too. Their headbands had a crooked sort of question mark, which is exactly how I felt about them. What kind of village is that?

Kakashi led us into the first room on the left side of the hall. There were four people asleep in a couple of bunk beds. This is a huge invasion of privacy… then again. They’re shitbags. Kakashi layered the room in genjutsu, the last one having worn off now that we weren’t there. Lightning danced between his fingers a moment later, quietly crackling. He pressed his hand into the sleeping civilian’s neck. 

Shit, that must hurt a fuck ton. The civilian gasped silently before their eyes rolled to the back of their head. I hope Kakashi never teaches Sasuke how to be a human taser. The world would never be right after that. Kakashi tied the civilian's body to the bed and covered him with the heavy comforter on it. He raised a brow at us. 

Shrugging, I went over to the next one. I couldn’t just zap him to sleep, so I thought it over. I took a few senbon from my pouch and tried to remember where the four major nerves were under the occipital plexus. Man, if I get this wrong it’s going to look so bad. What’s worse is that I have to hit them in one go, otherwise this bastard’s gonna wake up and scream bloody murder. I took a shallow breath and adjusted my grip. I counted down from three mentally before committing to the act, watching the senbon sink into the sleeping civilian’s body. 

His muscles fully relaxed and allowed him to sink into the bed. I sighed in relief and started to tie him down. I triple checked that it was tight enough, trying not to twitch at the sight of Sasuke and Naruto climbing the two bunks. Are they about to-

My body filled with disbelief as they held up pillows and nodded at each other. They’re seriously just going to do that? That won’t last very long and the civilians are going to remember it when they get a good flow of oxygen. Unless they’re going for the kill, in which case, what? The civilians, naturally, struggled against the force of Sasuke and Naruto’s body weight. Is this what it’s like to watch a car crash? Their cursed were muffled by the pillows, thank God, and eventually they didn’t need to be muffled. 

They stopped struggling after a few tense minutes. My jaw clenched to hide a wince of sympathy as both the unconscious civilians got punched out. That’s going to leave a gross bruise. I like my way a lot more. I’m so efficient and not brute-ish. Shame on the children. I sifted through my pouches to find something to gag the civilian with. It would be pretty counterproductive if they could just scream for help, no? 

“I’ll deal with any shinobi I find,” Kakashi murmured, careful to keep the room undisturbed. “Stay together.” 

I nodded in his direction and watched as he slipped cautiously through the door. Naruto and Sasuke were climbing down from the tops bunks, one passing the other a length of cloth to bind the last civilian’s jaw. This is kind of fun. It’s like being in an action film! We’re secret agents tasked with saving our struggling allies, but we must do it undetected or risk the nation we’re trying to protect. Zabuza would be played by Ryan Reynolds, definitely. He’s the comedic relief, but he’s also insanely good at his job. Unhinged with a soft side for his apprentice only. 

Would that make Kakashi the cold-hearted junior with too much to prove? He’d slowly have to wiggle into Zabuza’s good side and learn to not take himself so seriously. Maybe a young Mark Strong could be a good candidate for a role like that. 

“Do you think the hall is clear for us to get to the next room?” Naruto whispered, pressing his ear against the door. 

“Gotta trust Kakashi handled it,” I hummed. 

Naruto and Sasuke nodded. Naruto cracked the door open just a few centimeters wide before throwing a thumbs up behind his back. Sasuke and I crept closer, careful to be as quiet and quick as possible. Naruto jutted his chin towards the door across the hall. It was cracked open with a senbon. As a unit, we crouched and made our way to the room. This one was carpeted, so our footsteps made no noise at all. I hurried to handle the bottom bunks so the boys could peacefully commit their violent acts of… violence. God, I’m such a poet. I should be getting paid for coming up with this absolute pyrite. I started to tie up my fist civvy once Naruto and Sasuke climbed up to the top bunks. Clearly, this was the start of a pattern. 

We moved through the apartment floor at a decent-enough pace, making sure we avoided detection as we swapped rooms. The morning was getting late and we had to ambush some of the early (relative) risers on their way to the bathroom. I’m honestly just glad that this building is only three floors tall. I can’t imagine having to clear more than that. We ended up shoving some of the passed out bandits into random supply closets we found. It was more so an issue on floor two than floor one. Floor three, evidently, was reserved for Gato. Kakashi and Zabuza were arranging some scrolls on their persons when we reached the third floor stairwell. 

“Finally,” Zabuza huffed. 

Honestly, can he just stop for like five minutes? Just chill out? 

“Gato’s office should be at the end of the hall, but there’s a chance he’s in his master suite,” Kakashi murmured carefully, his face turned away from the door. 

“A building like this has a master suite?” I asked in quiet surprise. 

Zabuza shrugged. “I honestly think he just connected like four apartments.”

I shook my head. Wanting a luxurious life is fine and dandy, but Christ almighty. Does this dude really have to become some sort of pseudo-dictator to achieve that? Maybe it was a power thing. In which case, I can’t wait until someone knocks him on his ass and shows him how insignificant he is. Wasn’t that a trope, too? The pendant of justice, uncaring for feelings and only interested in setting things right in the world. Am I… Batman? I smirked a little, imagining a giant cape whooshing behind me. Yes, I could definitely get behind that. 

“Gato’s expecting you two anyway, so we don’t really have to try that hard to hide ourselves, right?” Naruto asked, his arms behind his head lazily. 

Haku nodded politely, their face perfectly blank. Oh, to have a perfect poker face. Plus, Haku is unnaturally pretty. Imagine all the people I could swindle. I’d just have to cut back on the swearing and really lean into the puppy eyes. Kakashi cast the same genjutsu from earlier on us and guided us to walk behind Zabuza and Haku. They didn’t bother to conceal their footsteps. Soon enough, a door slid open. Gato walked out, his polished shoes tapping the floor insistently. My brow twitched uncontrollably as I spotted the obnoxious pair of sunglasses he had on. Certified douchebag. It’s literally like nine-thirty and we’re indoors. 

“Finally,” the ogre-like man grunted, a displeased frown intensifying his unfortunate facial-features. “Let’s discuss your job in my office.”

Gato’s suit hardly shifted as he walked. Damn him. That looks really good in quality. Even his greasy hair can’t make it look trashier. I have to know who made it, or I’ll be haunted by the image forever. The suit that got away. Zabuza and Haku followed him into his office, giving us one last glance before they shut the door. Kakashi stationed himself to the left of the door and signaled us to station ourselves on the left side. We couldn’t really risk talking now. Sound dampening genjutsu only goes so far, and they relied on the user’s knowledge of the ear system. Something told me Kakashi didn’t really care to learn about it.

“I have to say, I’m very disappointed in you both,” Gato sighed. I had to strain to hear what he was saying. “When I was looking for someone to take care of my little pest, I chose you both because I had heard so many good reviews! And yet, here you are. Not only did you fail to complete your objective, but you also took a week to recover from some simple children’s attacks!”

The room fell silent. I could feel Zabuza’s annoyance through the wall. I wonder how hard that blow hit his ego.

“The bridge is too close to completion. You must kill the bridge-builder tomorrow, before he starts sparking up more hope and inspires a rebellion. I’d rather not have to extend the effort of a massacre,” Gato chuckled. “I hope you won’t be expecting the same pay rate. Your work has been… less than satisfactory.”

The office was tensley silent again. This time, I could feel the familiar thrum of Zabuza’s killing intent. I shivered and tucked myself closer to the window on instinct. Gato’s struggling gasps only lasted a few moments before two dull thunks echoed out. Just a second later, a much heavier thud landed on the ground. The door to Gato’s office opened anticlimactically. 

“Get whatever you want from his office. We’re hitting the vaults and leaving,” Zabuza grunted. 

We all averted our eyes from the fistfull of hair in his hand and the head that it was connected to. 

“What was the point of keeping the civilians alive?” I wondered out loud. “Now we have to free them all.” 

Kakashi glanced disapprovingly at me, but didn’t look like he disagreed. 

“Can’t we just make the clones do it?” Sasuke raised a fair point. 

I looked at Naruto hopefully. With a loud sigh, he struck a dramatic pose. 

“Once again, Uzumaki Naruto must save the day.”

“Totally,” I grinned. “Only you could possibly save us from our fate.”

“Less talking, more plundering,” Kakashi scolded, searching through the desks in the office. “Wait until I say we should free those bandits.”

“Can we take his furniture? All of this shit looks hand-made.” 

“No. Now find anything incriminating,” 

“Oh crap, are we going to get in trouble for killing a man without any sort of fair trial?”

“What do you mean? Clearly we came too late to stop Zabuza and were able to find that it wasn’t that bad of a loss in the grand scheme of things. Although we weren’t able to stop Gato’s death, we certainly have a lot of associates for the capital to question.” 

“Sweet, we’re off the hook!” Naruto cheered. 

“As long as no one here tattles,” I nodded. 

“Didn’t I already tell you to start looking for documents? Come on, get to it.”

Together, the four of us turned Gato’s office inside out. Occasionally we would call out what the paperwork was about and sort them into piles. 

“Oh, sweet, he is a drug dealer. So much better than I feared,” I whistled, tossing the packet of documents onto the desk. 

“How is causing an epidemic better than you thought?” Sasuke asked judgmentally. 

I shrugged, getting my hands on another set of documents. “I thought he was selling people. It’d be easy in a place like this, right?”

He couldn’t argue there. 

“Let’s not tempt the world, hm?” Kakashi discouraged, silently sorting out his own stack of paperwork. 

I mock-saluted him and went back to work. A lot of the paperwork were bank statements and contracts. Gato seemingly had five different bank accounts throughout the elemental nations that he filled with different amounts of money. Does this guy have anyone but himself? What does (did, I corrected absentmindedly) he spend his money on? Maybe he just inverted it all into his drug scheme like a loner. Oh! Maybe he spent a lot of it on commissions for fancy clothes. Personally, I’d spend it on fancy liquor and investing in technology. Shit, I still need to get furniture. Damn Kakashi for saying we can’t take his. It would make my life so easy.

I grinned as I picked up a small spiral notebook. “Contact info,” I called cheerfully. 

Kakashi held out a hand. I tossed it behind my back, uncaring now that the majority of my job was done. 

“Excellent. Naruto, leave a couple clones here with me. I want all of you to get back to Tazuna and supervise the bridge construction, just in case. I’ll seal these documents and send a request to Hokage-sama for a team to escort the civilians to the capital.”

I nodded, heaving myself off the floor and dusting off my hands. About four clones joined Kakashi. 

“You’ll be okay? We don’t know what Zabuza and Haku are up to,” I asked nervously, my eyes drifting towards the other room as though I could see through walls. 

“I’m perfectly capable of defending myself. Now, go.”

I nodded again and ushered out the boys who seemed to be on the verge of a protest. Kakashi is a jounin for a reason. He’s our assigned teacher and squad leader because the village deemed him capable enough. He’s an adult. I said as much to Sasuke and Naruto as I dragged them out by the scruff of their clothes. I only let them go once we were out of the building. Naruto didn’t stop whining until we reached Tazuna’s house.

“Naruto! Why don’t you help Tazuna round up the bridge workers, hm? It’s too important to be left undone!” I ordered in a panic, desperate to get him to shut the hell up. 

Predictably, Naruto’s chest puffed up in pride. “I’m on it! Let’s go, old man!”

“Sasuke, you have a choice,” I said seriously. “Do you want to be Tsunami and Inari’s only line of defense? Or should I take the burden. We both know Naruto can’t be left alone, so one of us has to go supervise.” 

Truthfully, I just didn’t want to be inside a building. I was severely hoping he’d take the bait and agree to stay indoors for the rest of the day. An annoyed frown slipped onto Sasuke’s face. He regarded me distantly.

“I’ll stay here. I don’t think I can handle more of that idiot.” 

I nodded solemnly. “Alright. I know you can handle any threat that could come to Tsunami and Inari, but be cautious anyway. Good luck, Sasuke.” 

God, they’re both so dumb. I quickly made my way to the bridge before Sasuke could change his mind. The first few hours of bridge-work were surprisingly productive. Everyone was super motivated when Naruto told them that Gato had been decapitated. I’m surprised they didn’t just stop to party at the news. It’s what I would have done, anyway. They took an extra long break and passed around bottles of soju. I accepted a small amount and told Naruto I’d throw him into the ocean if he snitched. The bottle said that the soju had about 25% alcohol by volume, so I only drank about a third of it. I don’t know how high Sakura’s tolerance is and I’m not about to risk passing out while I’m still technically working. Tazuna was all too happy to down the rest of my bottle. 

Hey, I think he deserves this one. The constant stress he lived under had been considerably lightened. Good for him. Everyone got back to work at around three pm when the alcohol had a chance to burn out of their systems. I suddenly started to wonder how smart Tazuna is. I mean, he designed and is leading this project. That’s some serious architectural stuff. The bridge isn’t even half-ugly either. I get the feeling that he could book some seriously nice jobs if he looked outside of Wave. I also got the feeling that he wouldn’t be willing to leave his home country. At around seven pm, everyone decided to fish together to have a hearty dinner. 

I chose to skip out on it and instead eat a seriously bland ration bar. I just can’t face fish anymore. The smell was enough to make me upset nowadays. Kakashi came back an hour later. We probably should have been more concerned that he was out for so long, to be honest. Well, he’s the one that said not to worry. None of us tried to approach him. He had an obvious sour expression on his face. We managed to catch one sentence before he slipped into our shared room.  “Annoying-ass bureaucratic shit-stains.” 

Guess he didn’t have a fun time with the team Konoha sent. At least that was off our hands now. 

“Excuse me, Tazuna?” I asked hesitantly, feeling a little bad about disturbing the guy’s meal time. 

He looked up questioningly. 

“Can you give me an estimate of when the construction will be done?” 

“We’re really close,” he grinned in pride. “The bridge’ll be ready in about four days, girlie.” 

I twitched reflexively. My good mood went down the drain almost instantly. 

“Good,” I said indifferently. “Excuse me.” 

I left the kitchen and retreated outside again. I just miss my bed, to be honest. I kind of wish I kept that bottle of soju. Tonight seemed like a good night for it. I leaned against the porch and stared down at my legs. Ah, fuck. Sakura’s a kid kid. Maybe I should hold off on the drinking. Didn’t studies show that it degraded brain function? Then again, that was only when it was extreme drinking. I guess if I do start to drink, I’d have to strictly limit myself to one every few days. The responsible adult part of me was heavily protesting this plan. The rest of me didn’t give a shit. Again, I’ll think about it when I get home. 

These all seem like future-me problems anyway. Sleeplessly, I let the rest of my night slip by.

Notes:

God this chapter fought me tooth and nail. Sorry for taking ages to upload something again lmao

Chapter 15: Chapter Fifteen

Summary:

A little bit of filler to get an important part out of the way!

Notes:

If you're uncomfortable with reading about puberty, this chapter is not for you :D short desc will be at the bottom

Author should really get a concisive way of numbering the chapters

Four days drag on forever. Maybe it was my refusal to eat anything but ration bars that made it so unbearable. Or maybe it was the feeling of foreboding that had been haunting me for the last week. Something was happening, and it would explode in my face soon. I just knew it. It was enough to make my skin crawl. I could only hope that it would wait until I was in the privacy of my own home. I’m just grateful that Naruto and Sasuke are too hyped about going home to notice I’m tense as hell. I physically can’t imagine having to answer any of their possible questions. 

I can’t believe I have to be on the road for another day before I get to shit in my own toilet. I think I might actually cry. I rubbed my hand down my face, ignoring Kakashi’s questioning look. If this goes as badly as my gut is threatening me it will, he’ll wish he never wondered. I glanced up at the sky and seriously projected my thoughts out into the heavens. Please, let me get home before you hit me with this. I shivered at a sudden gust of wind. Shit, I think I just jinxed myself. 

Each time we ran, my heart pounded faster and faster. As if to taunt me, the strongest wave of cramps that I’ve felt hit me as the village gates came to sight on the horizon. My jaw tightened and I struggled to focus on signing in. I needed to rush home, and once I made sure everything was okay, to the store. Then to the hospital so I can stop this madness before it starts. I passed the clipboard to Naruto and was about to speed walk away when Kakashi grabbed my shoulder. 

“Where are you going?” He asked pointedly. 

“Home,” I replied flatly. “You know. The place I live?” 

“We have to report to Hokage-sama,” he said, as if I should just know that. 

“What? No, I’ll just write a report and submit it to the mission’s desk,” I waved away, prepared to leave. 

“The mission was reclassified. We have to report directly to him.” 

In the distance, I heard a clap of thunder. Oh God. Is this because I was such a brat at the start of this mission? A cramp seized my thigh, as if taunting me. 

“How long is this going to take?” 

He shrugged. I scowled at him and made an impatient motion with my hand. 

“Hurry up, then!” 

“Sheesh, Sa-chan’s being bossy,” Naruto huffed. 

I glared at him, too uncomfortable to snap out a comment. The walk to the Hokage’s office was the most anxiety-inducing thing I’ve ever endured. Each step I wondered: am I about to start bleeding? Going up the stairs to his office was the worst. I honestly thought I would die. I let out a sigh of relief when we were finally admitted into the Hokage’s office. Standing still is safe, right? Nothing can happen while I’m unmoving? Right. That’s logical.

Tell me why, about half way through Kakashi’s explanation of why we decided to assassinate a man, he stopped and sniffed the air. Actually, let me tell you. Because he smelled blood. My dear friends, can you connect the dots? Sasuke and Naruto couldn’t. 

“We’re not hurt,” Naruto said with confusion.

The Hokage coughed, his mind instantly connecting the dots. 

“Er, Haruno-kun?”

I’m sure my face reflected the utter mortification I felt. Kakashi glanced from the Hokage to me. His concerned expression turned to horror. Oh my God. I’m actually about to fucking cry. 

“Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun, you’re both free to go,” the Hokage said graciously. 

I can’t even move, I feel petrified. This is so fucking embarassing. After the two left, Kakashi was still stiff as a board. The Hokage cleared his throat. 

“Kakashi-kun, why don’t you accompany your student to the hospital? You can write out a report and bring it to me later.”

“What?” His voice cracked at the idea. 

I could relate. My palms were starting to hurt from how hard my nails were digging into them. I couldn’t even force my mouth open. 

The Hokage nodded as if Kakashi had agreed. “Yes, you will need to approve the paperwork for the five day rest Haruno-kun is entitled to. It is best if you accompany her to fill it out while the on-site nurse advises her.”

Kakashi’s jaw clicked shut. I had trouble breathing. Am I having a stroke right now? My entire body feels like it’s on fire. 

“O-okay?” Kakashi floundered. 

He grabbed my wrist, making me immediately try to shake him off. Without a warning, we were whirred to the outside of the Hokage’s office. After that, Kakashi transported us both to the outside of the hospital. My knees feel like jello. I’m going to fucking kill myself when I get home, oh my God. 

“Don’t just stand there,” he said as he stood there. 

I swallowed dryly, wondering if you could tell I bled through my pants. 

“You go first.”

“I can do this,” Kakashi muttered under his breath. “It’s just a- ugh. Blood. From.” He shivered, cringing. 

He took a deep breath and dragged me in with him. A scream trapped itself behind my teeth, begging me to fight back. He let go of my wrist to speak to the receptionist up front. I hurried over and leaned against a wall, careful to make sure the bottom half of my body didn’t touch it. I literally couldn’t take it if I smeared a white wall with my butt-blood. I wrapped my arms around my stomach self-consciously. Eventually a nurse came out with two clipboards. Kakashi followed her helplessly and sat a seat away from me. I tried not to look at him for too long. 

The nurse handed the bottom clip board to Kakashi and turned to face me. 

“Name and date of birth?” 

“Samu- Erm. Sakura Haruno. March 20… 8.”

The nurse glanced at me and nodded. “Is this your first cycle?” She’s just going to ask me that right here?! What the hell lady!? 

“Yes,” I cringed. 

“Okay, so we recommend that you let this cycle flow and then come in when its done to take a shot that will pause it for two months-”

“Is there no way I can just, like, stop it permanently?” I asked helplessly. 

“This is so there’s no damage to your uterus,” she continued smoothly. “Completely stopping it would mean cutting off the reproductive ability of your body.”

Kakashi almost looked like he wanted to die more than me. He was furiously filling out the paperwork given to him. I forced myself to look away from him and scowled at the nurse.

“Look, do I look like someone who gives a single shit about his uterus?” 

Kakashi’s furious writing stopped. The nurse’s professional look slipped away from her for a moment. I felt my face flush down to my neck. 

“I…” I shut my mouth, unable to come up with a single thing to say. 

“I’ll see… what we can do about that.” The nurse excused herself. She walked away at a brisk pace, her professional mask back on. 

Kakashi still hadn’t gone back to his paperwork. Against every instinct in my body, I let my eyes wander to see his expression. His steel-gray eyes met mine. I felt embarrassed all over again. 

“Did you mean it?” He asked quietly. 

Would it be better to shake my head? To deny an innate truth about myself? I looked away and nodded, unable to bring myself to see his reaction. After a few tense moments, he kept filling out the paperwork. We didn’t speak to each other until he finished the stack. 

“Is… is it okay to call you Sakura?” 

My heart got stuck in my throat at the question. I could feel sharp tears gather. I lowered my eyes, unwilling to cry in front of him. 

“No,” I said at last. “But it doesn’t matter if everyone else does it too.”

“It matters to me.” 

I closed my eyes and quickly wiped away a traitorous tear. 

“I don’t know. I don’t even know… if I want anyone else to know. I’ve never even heard of anyone else who’s like me. It hurts to think about right now.” 

“Okay,” Kakashi sighed. “When you’re ready, tell me.” 

I nodded, my eyes still stuck to the ground. This would be so much easier if I was still home. We had already overcome the publicity issue, and we were even making headway with medical care. I pressed my palms against my eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm down. I looked up when the nurse came back. 

“So, I discussed it with my supervisor and we came up with a possible course of action for you,” she said, steadily keeping eye contact with me. “We do have an injection that stops a period that’s already started, but it’s a little bit risky. You have to take it every six months and a pill that comes with it every week. If you don’t take the medication consistently, you risk your period coming with heavy side effects. We think that you should take this for the first year or so before you speak to a psychologist for a recommendation from them. The recommendation would qualify you for a surgery to remove your uterus.”

“I have to be on the medication for a year to get an appointment with the psychologist?” I asked with a scrunched nose. 

The nurse nodded. 

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair before nodding. “Alright. Sounds like a plan.” 

“Please head to room three. I’ll bring the shot there and order your medicine now. Each bottle comes with twenty pills, so you’ll need to pick up a refill about every six months.”

I nodded in understanding and made my way to the room. I cringed, now being able to feel the moisture in between my legs. This seriously sucks. I stood awkwardly in the room, afraid of staining anything by sitting down. The nurse came back about ten minutes later. She handed me a small package and told me to head down to the restroom. I walked down the hall, eternally uncomfortable, and found the single-stall restroom easily. Once inside I opened the packet she handed me. 

I stared blankly at the simple pair of black underwear that I fished out from the bag. I put it on the sink and took out a pad. Oh. I guess this is a reality for me, right? I shivered and tore my eyes away from them. Not for long. Just a year, a year I won’t have to deal with blood. This is a one-time thing. I chanted that like a mantra as I changed out of my soiled clothes and threw away the package. I washed my hands thoroughly before drying them and stepping out into the hall again. As I walked back to room three, I had to admit that I felt a lot better now. I walked back into the room and made my way to the patient table. I didn’t even want to look at the metal tray that the nurse wheeled in. 

“This medicine is very strong, so expect your arm to be sore for the next two days or so,” the nurse warned, gently wiping my arm with an alcohol pad. 

I nodded in understanding and looked blankly ahead. Isn’t it kind of stupid that needles unnerve me? I use senbon and kunai on a daily basis. I tried not to tense myself once I felt the needle slip into my arm. The rush of medicine gave a feeling of soreness rather than hurt. I knew it would hit me later, when it had time to settle. The nurse quickly took out the needle and wiped the shot mark with a cotton puff before applying a basic bandage. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and thanked her. 

“Take the medicine every morning on an empty stomach starting tomorrow. Don’t eat anything for at least a half hour afterwards, but water is fine. You can pick up the medicine at the left wing, just tell them your name. Understand?” 

I nodded and hopped down from the table. 

“Great. Have a good day.” 

I returned the sentiment and finally went to pick up the medicine. It wasn’t a long doctor’s trip, but it was emotionally exhausting. I had to wait another fifteen minutes for the medicine to be done. The pharmacist told me the instructions for the medicine again. I thanked them and tucked the bottle into my weapon’s pouch. I have to clean my apartment, clear the fridge out, and buy some furniture. I groaned quietly, rubbing my face tiredly. I don’t want to do any of that shit. I passed by a quaint restaurant and paused before taking a few steps back. I went inside, thankful that it was pleasantly empty at this time of day. 

“Welcome! Can I help you with anything?” The cashier greeted me with a smile. 

I glanced at the menu and took out my wallet. “Um, yeah. Can I get an order of chicken skewers?” 

“Spicy or normal?” 

“Spicy, please.” 

“Alright. Anything else?” 

My eyes caught sight of the liquor shelf. “Yeah, can I also get a bottle of chamisul soju and baijiu?”

The cashier paused, his eyes darting up to my headband before he nodded and added it to the notepad. I handed over sixty yen and accepted the bag with the two bottles. A few minutes later, I also accepted a styrofoam box with the chicken skewers in it. I ate as I walked home, knowing I’d just collapse on my bed the moment I went into my room. I tossed my trash away in a trash can that was on the corner of the street across from my building. Eagerly, I walked into the lobby. I took the steps two at a time, thinking about my sweet bed. When I got to my floor, I instantly got on the tips of my toes to get the key I left on top of the doorframe. I smiled as my fingers curled around it and wiped away the collecting dust before unlocking my apartment. 

It smells so stuffy in here. The first thing I did was crack open the windows to let in some fresh air. I put the bottles I’d just bought in the kitchen and went to check on my plant, wilting a little when I saw it was half brown and half green. At least there’s still hope, right? I watered it generously and finally entered my room. It was just as stuffy as the living room. I opened the window and closed the blinds before tossing myself onto my bed. I didn’t even change, just wiggled under the covers and fell into oblivion.

Notes:

If you skipped down to the bottom, here's your summary: Sakura got cursed by the gods to have his monthly blessing and decided: Fuck no baby, i refuse. Now he has medicine that stops it and will be having a surgery to permanently get rid of it in about a year. Also, he bought beer. Whoo

OH ALSO

Sakura keeps calling himself Sam because his old name was Samuel and he still struggles to think of himself and Sakura as one person.

Chapter 16: In Which Sam Watches A Movie (16)

Summary:

And it definitely isn't foreshadowing.

Notes:

Guys can you believe Season 3 of Naruto is entirely dedicated to the Forest of Death part of the exam? That's 28 episodes bro

Then the next season is the invasion. Another 28 episodes, but to be fair it's also the third part of the chunin exams. Just crazy all around.

I woke up because my arm was throbbing. Let me give you a chance to process that. The nurse said it would be sore, right? That it might hurt a little? Tell me why (ain’t nothin- can’t get distracted) it feels like I got stung by a scorpion? I groaned and tried to bury my head deeper into my pillows. Shifting that small amount made a metaphorical bucket of ice water splash over my head. I’m wearing a pad. Oh my God. I whined against the pillow, wanting to get up while also wanting to stay right where I was. Eventually my need to go to the bathroom won out. This is actually fucking terrifying. What if the shot didn’t work? What if when I try to casually go pee, blood just starts falling? Is… Is that how this works? 

I should have paid more attention to my mother. This is what I get for never seeing women for more than a few dates. To be fair those dates were always super platonic. Well, to me anyway. Wait, what was the point again? I shook my head, finally lifting my head off my pillows. I squinted, having forgotten to close the blinds. It wasn’t very bright out. It was probably early evening, so dinner time. My stomach rumbled in agreement. After some eternal debate, I forced myself off the bed. I had things to do. Like existing as a normal human being. 

Getting up was awkward and so was walking. I was constantly aware of every shift in fabric. I honestly couldn’t wait to hop into the shower. When I stepped into the rest of my house, I was greeted by fresh air. It was a definite improvement from the stale air that greeted me, but it was also concerning. I completely forgot to close my balcony door. I hurried over to lock it, wincing as I caught sight of my plant. I really hope it’ll bounce back. 

I finally made my way to the bathroom, eagerly launching myself into the shower. I forgot how nice it is to be in my own home. Wasn’t there a saying for overstayed guests? Guests start to smell after three days. Or something. Either way, it’s true. I feel like I’m finally getting rid of a dusty cloak. For once, it’s a relief to stand under the stream of not-quite-warm-enough water. The bathroom is dark. I can barely make out the shapes of my shampoo and body wash, but I like it this way. The darkness is a comfort in a place like this. 

I also took comfort in finally being able to use my own shit. Things that I actually wanted. Before missions, we always have to use scentless products as a precaution to any trackers. I missed the strangely comforting smell of pine needles and tree bark. Konoha as a whole was filled with comfort. Wave was salty and stifling, but Konoha smelled of morning dew and gave comfort to all who lived there. 

It’s sappy, but it’s true. I turned off the water and hurried to change into clean clothes. There’s really a lot for me to do. I should put it down onto paper though, so I don’t forget anything. Definitely furniture shopping. I have to clean the fridge and buy groceries. I think I wanted to do a wellness check on Naruto, so I have to figure that out. I’ll probably have to make meals that he can just freeze and microwave, so that he actually eats something other than instant ramen. There was probably more, but this already feels like too much to chew. I towel-dried my hair as I went out into my kitchen, frowning at the empty walls. This place is super depressing. I sighed and grabbed a few trash bags from under the sink, already aware that I’d have to throw away pretty much everything. This is the only reason I miss preservation additives. 

I cringed every time I caught a whiff of the various things I was throwing out.  I had moved some things to the freezer, but even they looked bruised and suspicious. I was all too eager to make the trip downstairs to the heavy-duty trash cans. As long as this stuff gets out of my apartment before it has the chance to start leaking. No one was out and about, which is beautiful. I can’t imagine speaking to anyone right now. First stop: groceries. I pat my pocket, now free of any gear. Just money. Maybe I should have at least brought my weapons pouch. No, no, it’ll be okay. It’s just the village. Fuck, it’s going to be a pain getting this much shit. I don’t even know where Naruto lives. 

If I asked, he’d probably just tell me, right? The question is: is team seven meeting up tomorrow? My little- ah… accident. Kind of ruined everything. It would still be good to show up, just in case. I don’t know if Naruto will eat what I give him. Maybe I should hide the vegetables? I glanced up at the store and sighed. Of course it’s full of people. Everyone’s picking up things for dinner. How inconvenient. I kept my head down as I shopped, minding my own business and hoping everyone else would do the same. I refused to raise my head and look around, even though my senses were telling me someone was definitely staring at me. 

I was picking up a bunch of spinach when someone stepped into my peripheral purposely. All I could really see was a jounin vest. Still, I resisted. 

“Sakura-chan!” A deep voice greeted warmly. 

I shivered. That’s so fucking creepy. A grown ass man just said that to me. I finally let my eyes flicker up. I squinted. 

“Do I… know you?” This guy rings exactly zero bells. 

His happy smile slipped off in shock. Cool, keep it like that. 

“Haha, is this a running joke with you kids?” 

I squinted at him some more. He has really intense eyes. I don’t think I’ve seen someone with platinum blond hair yet. Not his kind, anyway.

“Um… Ah, wait, you’re a Yamanaka, right?”

His polite smile froze. “Eh?” 

“Sorry, but I don’t know you in specific. Have a good evening though,” I dismissed, quickly walking away. 

I heard the tell-tale sound of a face-palm. Glancing back, I could see a red-faced teenager. We caught each other’s gaze for a fraction of a second before I looked away and switched to a different aisle. Oh. Fuck. That dude was Yamanaka Ino’s father. What are the fucking chances? I let out a soft hiss through my teeth, absentmindedly picking up a bag of flour and a can of yeast. I hope to God that man is forgiving, otherwise I might be just a little bit screwed. I kept shopping, anxiously trying to avoid any light blond hair I came across. Getting cuts of meat put me into a constant state of fight or flight. 

I snuck back to the produce section and grabbed a few more vegetables and fruits before hurrying away to pay for everything in my basket. I feel like I literally held my breath until I was a block away from that store. I can never go there ever again. If the Yamanaka didn’t hate me then, do they hate me now? I could feel my blood pounding through me and the urge to take off in a dead sprint couldn’t be stronger. I don’t even want to imagine what I look like right now. Horrified and speeding through the streets with my eyes not even blinking. Ow, I should blink. I blinked a few times, silently cursing the fact that both of my hands were busy. Ugh, I have to cook once I get home. Naruto better appreciate what I’m doing for him. 

My shoulders didn’t drop until I was safe in my home. I huffed and brought the bags over to the table. If I just focus on putting this stuff away, I won’t have to think about the utter idiot I made of myself today. I tried to multi-task. I put some things away and others on the counter to prep for dinner. Should I make a lot of things? Or should I just make one meal to test run? Damn, all of my cooking is Italian-American. Is that even a thing here? What if Naruto thinks it's too weird to eat? Dammit, he better appreciate this. Should I make food for Sasuke, too? 

Clearly he eats healthier than Naruto, but that doesn’t mean he eats healthy. Alternatively, if I’m questioning whether or not Naruto would accept the food, Sasuke’s for sure out of the question. Kakashi better be eating well. He’s a grown ass man. With very bad judgment calls. Should I… offer him food? I paused in chopping up some zucchini. I’m not going to become a soccer mom for these fuckers. I refuse. 

Now if only my big brother instincts would get the memo. After I cut up all the vegetables I planned to use, I set them aside and pulled out some chicken breast. At least the house will smell good. Maybe I should get some candles, since I doubt air fresheners are a thing here. For a while, my brain was finally able to fall back into static. All that was present was me and the sound of a sharp knife cutting against a wooden board. Eventually I moved over to the stove and sautéed everything together with a couple of spices. I moved on to wash some rice. 

I let out a slow breath, letting myself relax. Eating dinner alone is a little depressing when there’s nothing to fill the silence. All of the books in my home were academic, and I didn’t want to fall back on that in the time I was supposed to relax. Maybe I should get a tv? Is there anything good being produced in the first place? How do channels work here? I covered the rice and lowered the flame. 

All I had to do now was wait. I sat down in the kitchen, idly staring at the oak wood. Even though I’ve been here for like three years, I’m not used to how utterly alone I am. My home was never silent before, even when I moved out. My siblings and parents were constantly in and out of my place. We were all really close. There were seven of us, back then. Man, I feel bad now. I remember dying. I think it was… I furrowed my brows. Faulty wiring? Maybe? 

I hope my parents and siblings were able to heal after I died. I was the first, so it couldn’t have been easy. Even our great grandparents were still alive before I passed. Thinking about their grief made my heart clench. I had solace with the simple fact that they were still breathing, even if I couldn’t ever see them again. It hurt like hell, yes, but they were alive. If only they knew that my memories of them were still strong. I wiped a few stray tears away and inhaled deeply. 

Well, I’m here now. I’m not smart enough to figure out a way to get myself back, if it’s even possible, so oh well. Live and let live. Besides, is time travel (or worse, dimensional travel) a possibility in this world? I drummed my fingers against the table thoughtfully. It’s kind of weird to be home. Don’t get me wrong, it feels great, but I can’t help but feel like I should be doing something? Scouting the perimeters for enemies, or getting a lay of the land. 

I should do something to actually unwind. They have movie theaters here, right? I rubbed the back of my head, my nose twitching slightly. Wait a minute. Shit! I stood up fast enough to give myself whiplash and rushed over to the stove, checking the rice and chicken. The chicken is probably a little dry, but nothing burned (well, except for the rice, just a little), so that’s a win in my book! I turned everything off and let my rapidly beating heart slow down to normal rates. 

I need to stop being an airhead, honestly. I glanced at the food. Should I give Naruto one of my nice containers? Or one of the just okay ones? I pursed my lips. The chances of him returning the first thing I give him are significantly higher than a repeated gesture. I’ll give him a nice one this time and slowly start giving him less quality containers until eventually I just assign him the one with a weird lid. I like my stuff, okay? 

I packed Naruto’s lunch first, hoping it would cool down by the time I was done eating so I could just stash it in the fridge. After I started eating, I kind of sunk into the cycle of boredom again. It wasn’t late enough to sleep and I didn’t really know anyone well enough to spontaneously show up at their place. Wait, I literally thought of this earlier. The movie theater! It was in the north-west part of the village, about a thirty minute walk from here. 

I smiled as I ate, excited at the fact that I finally had something to do for fun. I cleaned the dishes and put Naruto’s lunch in the fridge before I left, a happy smile decorating my face. The fresh air hit me as I walked and I didn’t feel ashamed. I could almost forgive Kakashi for causing one of the worst days of my life! My smile suddenly felt a lot less genuine. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t go that far. 

I enjoyed the rest of my walk around town, taking in all the restaurants and shops as if for the first time. Most non-food places were closed, but it was still nice to see the displays and such. There were a couple of bars sprinkled throughout town. A lot of laughter came out of a particularly seedy-looking one. My curiosity was cut short when I saw a suspicious tinted jar with a snake in it. I walked a little bit faster. 

A few minutes later, I caught sight of a particularly dingy theater. I mourned the loss of reclining seats before I stepped up to the booth in front of it. A bored looking civilian yawned before she greeted me. 

“Hey, are any movies still showing?” I asked despite the early time. 

“Yeah, the last showings are at 10:15 pm. Princess Gale: Harmonies of the Wind starts at 7:45. There’s also The Daimyo's Daughter and her Guard which starts at 8. Oh, and there’s also It Hides in the Tall Grass, also at 8.”

I blinked and glanced at the digital clock they so kindly placed at the ticket booth. The first movie would start in like ten minutes. Even though the last one sounds way more interesting, I’m not patient enough to wait for it. 

“I’ll take a ticket for the Princess Gale movie,” I said, fishing for some money in my pocket. 

“Alright, that’ll be thirty-five yen. Would you like to add popcorn and a drink for an additional ten yen?”

“Sounds great.”

“Alright, just give this voucher to the concession stand worker.” 

I accepted both the tickets and hurried inside, wondering if they showed trailers before movies like they did back home. It must be a big deal to produce a movie, right? The technology here is so skewed. There’s a singular outlet in my house, and it’s clearly for the television I don’t own. Every kitchen appliance seems to run on some weird battery type deal. Even the washing machine just weirdly exists. I have no clue how any of it works, and I really don’t intend to find out. 

Wow, this concession stand is so… plain? It’s just popcorn, cotton candy, and a choice between water, cola, iced tea, or fruit punch. I miss peanut m&m's. I stuck to the classic combo of popcorn and cola before I went to the theater room. It wasn’t that full. There were a few families with older kids and a handful of teenagers that were giggling together near the front of the theater. The coldest thing in the room was my drink, which was just a little bit off putting. The seats were low to the ground and tinted in the yellow light of the theater. 

This is the kind of place you end up in right before the killer makes his first appearance. How could anyone relax in such a weird room? Maybe I’m just spoiled. I took a sip of my drink, a little startled when the lights completely went out instead of dimming. The starting scene for the movie was a recap of the last movie, which I had zero context for. Apparently in the last movie, Princess Gale had liberated a small village from a tyrannical mayor in the last movie. At the end, one of the children had tugged on her skirt and tearfully asked her to save his big sister and mother, who had run away when the mayor tried to force his mother into marrying him. 

Princess Gale had fearlessly accepted the task and was joined by the little boy and her father on her way to the Village Hidden in the Heat, a safe haven for women that was guarded under heavy genjutsu. Through the desert, Princess Gale had to battle against a mutated scorpion that was as tall as a tree and as wide as a boat. In the battle, her legendary sword (acquired God knows when in the series) shattered as she used it to protect the little boy and his father from a deadly sting. I had to admit, Princess Gale’s actress was absolutely talented. Her acting was noticeably next-level, especially when she had scenes with the father. Despite my earlier reluctance, I found myself getting drawn into the story. 

Halfway through the film, Princess Gale and her companions got stuck in a horrible sand storm. When a dragon-like creature slowly rose from the ground beneath them, Gale had a sudden realization. They were in a genjutsu! As she realized this, she found herself slowly drifting away from the child and father. She had to find a way to tell them, but she couldn’t break such a powerful spell on her own. Princess Gale had to fight through the genjutsu. She continuously chanted ‘it’s all in my head’ as she blindly searched for one of the boys she was with. Eventually she found the little boy, and together they were able to free themselves and the kid’s father. 

Once the genjutsu cleared and they had gathered their bearings, they found themselves face to face with the hidden village’s stone-hearted leader. Princess Gale explained their situation, but the leader simply shook her head. They hadn’t opened their walls for any man in a hundred years, why would they start now? According to her, the man’s wife hadn’t mentioned him or his son since she’d gotten there. The family that had traveled all that way looked crestfallen. Suspicious, Gale asked more questions, slowly poking holes in the woman’s story. 

Gale was able to run circles around the leader, quickly confusing and angering her. In a rage, she revealed herself to truly be a wanted criminal that fled from the Land of Fire and took over the hidden village. The woman’s special power was the ability to mind-control those around her with her hypnotizing golden eyes. Princess Gale was forced to fight the woman in hand to hand, all while having to avoid looking her in the eyes. It made me uncomfortable, knowing they probably took some heavy inspiration from the Uchiha. Is Sasuke entitled to fine them for this? Or… is his older brother technically clan head? 

My fist clenched against my thigh as Gale slammed her fingers into the criminal’s eyes. I can’t ever let that happen to Sasuke. Still, it did the job for Gale. The woman howled in pain and took shaky steps back, covering her eyes and spitting insults at the Princess. On a roll, Gale closed in and punched her stomach and face in close succession. The woman was swaying on her feet by the time Gale managed to get behind her. With a serious expression, Gale leaned over her and sneered at the woman, reprimanding her for her actions. Quick as lightning, Gale pressed her fingers into the woman’s neck and caught her as she passed out. As soon as the woman lost consciousness, the village reappeared behind them. The guards in charge of powering the genjutsu rubbed their eyes and looked around with confusion, their spears at their feet. 

Princess Gale explained everything to them, gesturing to the woman who forcefully controlled them for a month. Overcome with gratitude, one of the guards brought all three of them to the real village leader. A celebration was held in Princess Gale’s honor. The village leader also decided to finally open her country to the rest of the world, seeing how their lack of allies really ruined them. The villain was tied in the background, sulking. 

“Where will you go now, Princess?” The little boy asked with wide eyes, clutching his mother’s hand tightly. 

“Well, I have to return this one back to where she came from,” Gale nodded at the villainess. 

“In the Land of Fire, right?” The rescued mother asked shyly. “Please, take this map. Could you do me a favor? If you happen to stop at this inn, can you please give this letter to my father?” 

With a kind smile and understanding eyes, Gale accepted. The family shared an emotionally charged hug and walked Gale to the village gates, nearly in tears. They thanked her again. Soft music started as they waved goodbye at her. The movie ended on a frozen frame of Gale smiling brilliantly at them and waving with her back turned. I sipped the last of my soda as I watched the credits roll, my popcorn largely uneaten. That really wasn’t that bad. A little cheesy, maybe, but definitely not bad. As the credits came to an end, a message written in bright yellow font took over the screen. 

‘Coming in October of this year… Princess Gale and the Book of Secret Ninja Arts.’

Once the text faded away, a movie poster appeared on screen. Princess Gale was in the center, her eyes glowing as she stared at a floating book in her hands. In the background, a zombie loomed over her with a pastel rainbow colored backdrop. The crowd whispered excitedly at each other. 

“Do you think this means Mao is coming back?! And the golden trio, too!” One of the few kids who managed to stay awake until the end bounced in his chair. 

“They’ve gotta!” The other awake child cheered. “Gale can’t use the legendary rainbow chakra without their help, and it’s the only thing that defeated that evil Mao last time!” 

Their parents shushed them and gestured at the passed-out kids. The sole group of teenagers laughed with each other as they exited the theater, throwing out theories that completely confused me. I sweat-dropped, getting out of my seat and throwing away my trash. This franchise is so much more complex than I could have imagined. How many movies came before this one? At least two, right? One to establish the big baddie and another to establish this huge power. Maybe even more. I don’t want to think about it, frankly. 

The night was pleasantly warm as I walked home. Perks of June, I guess. I stretched as I walked, stiff from sitting in a chair for so long. I was starting to actually like going up the stairs to my apartment, which is how you know I’m going insane. I shook my head and went to brush my teeth after I locked the door and windows in my apartment. You know, today was exhausting, but going out kind of saved it. All in all, not bad.

Notes:

Writing out that movie was so fun lol. The scorpion thing is definitely ripped off from that moment when Sakura showed up team 10 in the chunin exams out in Suna. She's so badass I'm in love with her <3

Also!!! Can you guys believe Sam literally has four siblings? He's the middle child, literally. He has two older sisters and one younger sister with the youngest sibling being his little brother.

My guy is struggling with isolated existance, teehee.

Inoichi has never been this emotionally hit. Him and Ino have a need for social validation, so this'll stick with them for a long time ^-^'

Chapter 17: Naruto's not the Only one With a Minion

Summary:

Sam and the boys are on the same page for once.

He also gets a little sister (except he doesn't know it yet)

I was feeling pretty hopeful when I woke up the next morning. I hope that fact alone wasn’t enough to jinx my day. My bed-side clock cheerfully let me know that it was seven in the morning. Usually I’d try to sleep some more, but I was kind of excited to hand Naruto that lunch I made him. Pretty plain as far as most things go, but it’s a start. I combed through my hair idly, fighting back a jaw-cracking yawn. The yawn won. Now that I’m back home, I don’t have to wear sweats and long-sleeves anymore. Even though I was born and raised in the cold, Konoha had tempered me to the warmth. I was more than happy to return to the standard shinobi sandals and my usual spandex shorts and sleeveless turtleneck combo.

I was out of my house by 7:30, eagerly making my way to the bridge we usually met at before we migrated to our designated training grounds. Sasuke was there already, to no one’s surprise. I greeted him with a smile, something in my chest unraveling gently. I should be more worried that I grew so attached so quickly, right? 

“Have you made any headway with the mystic palm technique?” Sasuke asked, glancing at the container in my hands but not commenting. 

I raised a brow at him. “We only got home yesterday, what kind of progress could I possibly make?” 

Sasuke let out a small ‘hn’ and smirked a little smugly. “Some of us don’t slack.” 

His hand glowed mint green. I narrowed my eyes at it. 

“You’ve got it down?” I asked in surprise. “No poaching what you’re trying to heal?” 

He flipped a kunai out of his pouch and cut a slice open on his palm faster than I could stop him. Even as it healed, I felt exasperation overtake me. 

“Sasuke Uchiha! You did not use yourself as an experiment for this stupid technique!” 

He tucked away the kunai and looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. I grabbed his arm, pulling it closer to me. 

“You idiot, these are going to scar,” I hissed, taking in the various sized cuts going from his forearm to the backside of his palm. 

Some of them were more red than others. Sasuke was tense under my grip. I sighed and rifled through my pack with my free hand, looking for some antiseptic wipes. 

“You have to be more careful with yourself,” I said softly, trying to be gentle as I cleaned the cuts. “If you got hurt, none of us would know or be able to help.” 

“I didn’t get hurt.” 

I glanced up at Sasuke. “But you did. Maybe not bad enough to warrant needing help, and maybe it was on purpose, but you still hurt yourself. That’s not something you should be resorting to, Sasuke. I know that I can be a lot sometimes, and Naruto even more so, but we have your back with anything. I mean that. Look, if you ever get the stupid idea to do this again, I want you to come to me, okay? We’ll figure something better out.” 

“Oh yes, I’ll just find you casually whenever I feel like it,” Sasuke rolled his eyes. 

“I’m getting to that, you idiot Uchiha.” 

I let go of his arm and stuffed the used wipe into a separate pocket to throw it out later. I found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote down my address and apartment number before giving it to Sasuke. 

“If I’m not home, I keep the key on top of the door. You’re always welcome, okay?” 

Sasuke said nothing, his eyes firmly reading over the directions. I chose not to say anything when his eyes flashed red for a second. He cleared his throat and put the note into the pocket of his white shorts. 

“That’s a dumb place to keep the key.” 

“I carry too many things on me as it is,” I shrugged. “This way I won’t just lose it.” 

“You have too much trust in people,” Sasuke said wearily, a slightly judgmental tone coating his voice. 

“I don’t trust others,” I said sincerely. “But I trust you.” 

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t say it partly just to watch the way Sasuke’s face flushed. As sour as he could be sometimes, Sasuke was a really cute kid. I think he could use a little bit more positivity in his life, and I really don’t mind being a source of that. As long as I’m not the only one. I’ll have to see what I can do about getting him some hobbies other than self-destructive training. We didn’t say anything else. I don’t really know if that was for the better or not. 

The silence hung between us like a curtain, thin but tangible. It didn’t leave until Naruto’s sunshine-like presence broke it like a spell. 

“Hey guys!” 

I cracked a smile at him, leaning against the bridge’s railing. 

“Hey. Rest well yesterday?” 

“Yeah! What did Jiji want to talk to you and Kakashi-sensei about?”

My face turned to stone at the question. 

“If you value your limbs,” I threatened slowly. “You’ll forget you ever asked.” 

Naruto laughed nervously, his eyes jumping down to avoid looking in my eyes. 

“So! Urm. You brought lunch today?” He tried. 

I brightened. “Oh! Yeah, this is actually for you.” I held out the container for him. “It’s not much, but I hope you like it. And if you don’t, just pretend you do.” 

Naruto’s pinched expression brightened almost instantly. “You made this? For me?” 

“Yeah, it’s for you.” 

I don’t think I should tell him that it’s so I make sure he eats his greens. I think he wouldn’t eat it then. The way Naruto held on to the food container was absolutely precious, but it also made me really sad. I looked away, uncomfortable with the sheer amount of raw emotion Naruto constantly exuded. 

“Wow Sa-chan,” he sniffed, his voice wobbly. “This is so nice of you.” 

Please don’t cry, please don’t cry. 

“It’s no big deal.” Please don’t make it a big deal. “I just figured you’d appreciate it.”

“I do!” Naruto cheerfully gave me a one-armed hug. “Thank you.”

I stiffened and patted his back, silently pleading for him to back off. I need a little bit more of a warning than that. Naruto backed off appropriately fast, so I forgive him for the sudden tackle. 

“You’re welcome,” I smiled at him, going back to leaning against the bridge. 

I caught Naruto sticking his tongue out at Sasuke and sighed. Should I have made one for him, too? I’m still pretty sure he would have rejected it. We waited in silence, this time it was pretty comfortable, until Kakashi decided to appear. When he did, I almost wished he hadn’t. 

“I’ve signed you guys up for the chunin exams!” 

My face was completely unamused. 

“Aw man! Exams?! Wait… exams… to be chunin?” Naruto asked with a tilt of his head. 

Kakashi nodded, his wolfish grin outlined by his mask. 

Naruto whooped and shouted out ‘promotion’ over and over again until he launched himself at Kakashi. I pursed my lips to hide my smile. Naruto’s just the human version of SpongeBob, isn't he? Just with access to very sharp weapons. Kakashi laughed dryly and picked Naruto up by the back of his jacket, holding him a fair distance away from himself. Oh man, if I was as tall as Kakashi my threats would be so much more achievable. 

“The exams start on the first day of next month. You have until then to bring me the slips of paper. You have to participate as a team, so make sure you talk it over. Oh! Take the week to decide, alright?” He poofed away with a cheerful wave. 

“Is there a way to tell when someone’s using shadow clones?” Sasuke asked offhandedly, staring boredly at the registration form he was given. 

“Nope,” I sighed. “That’s the brilliance of the Second Hokage for you.”

Out of every Kage we’ve ever covered, he’s easily the most impressive. He’s created so many jutsu, even though a lot of them had been classified as forbidden techniques. Most people treated that as a warning, anyway. The shadow clone was easily his most versatile creation as well as his most used creation. It’s rumored that a requirement for jonin hopefuls was to be able to use at least one shadow clone. It got overturned, being cited as biased against people who didn’t have a lot of chakra. 

“Sakura, you’re visibly being a nerd,” Naruto said gravely. 

“You’re visibly uncultured,” I sniffed.

“No, I’m pretty sure you just have a crush on the Second Hokage,” Sasuke, that traitor, smirked. 

“I’ll crush you with my second Hokage.”

Both Naruto and Sasuke raised their eyebrows at me. 

“Okay, yeah,” I grimaced. “That was pretty bad.” 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m totally signing this thing!” Naruto cheered, seemingly no longer interested in the Second Hokage. 

Who knows why anyone would get bored of such an interesting topic. Sasuke nodded in agreement, looking at me from the corners of his eyes. I read over the paper quickly, taking in the things that jumped out at me. 

“Hmm, ditto.”

Naruto paused his excited chattering to look at me with wide eyes. “Really?! That’s great, Sa-chan!” 

“No objections?” Sasuke asked wearily, his expression disbelieving. 

I rolled my eyes. “It’s on our home turf anyway. What’s the worst that happens? We get our asses kicked and don’t get a promotion, then we wait for the next one. It’s supposed to be in Sand after us, and we’re allied, so it’s really not a big deal.”

“Huh. That makes a lot of sense!” Naruto enthused. “You’re the brains of the team for a reason, Sakura!” 

“Yeah, usually people listen to their brains,” I said under my breath, narrowed eyes shooting daggers at Naruto. 

He remained oblivious to my judgment. In fact, Naruto was bouncing on his toes in excitement. 

“Do you think the rest of the rookie nine will be there? Oh and-“

“Hold on. Pause. The rookie what?” 

“The rookie nine! It’s something Kiba suggested, and it kinda just stuck cuz it was easier to say than ‘our classmates’. Least that’s what Shika said.”

I blinked slowly. “You… willingly hang out with Kiba and Shikamaru?” 

“Yes? They’re my friends!” Naruto laughed awkwardly.

I shared a glance with Sasuke. We’re so antisocial. 

“Hey, if it makes you happy, bud.”

“Don’t you talk to… anyone?” Naruto winced. 

I snorted, amused at his lack of tact. “I kind of declared myself an enemy to everyone but Choji and those who didn’t speak to me at all. Trust me, I like it better this way.”

He gave me a dubious look. “If that’s what makes you happy,” he echoed, like the brat he is. 

I shrugged. “I only like you guys. Everyone else is annoying.”

Sasuke made a small noise of agreement in the back of his throat. 

“Both of you need friends,” Naruto huffed. 

“No thanks,” Sasuke and I denied. 

“Creepy,” Naruto shuddered. 

I rolled my eyes and purposely angled my body towards Sasuke. 

“Think you’ll try to get more into healing?” 

“Should I?” He asked quietly, his brows furrowing in thought. “I think… I should focus on offensive techniques.” 

“Medical techniques can be used offensively if you’re good enough at them. Lady Tsunade used the basic mystic palm jutsu to accelerate the rate of cell decay to burn someone’s sternum, once.”

He raised a brow. “Why do you know that?” 

“Sa- er. When we were back at the academy, I was obsessed with figuring out how her super strength works. I’m pretty sure that’s tied back to medical ninjutsu, too.” 

Sasuke looked more interested, idly making a fist with his hand. 

“Not to mention her legendary seal of a hundred strengths,” I mused. “In the Second Shinobi War, an Iwa nin dug his sword through her left lung. Apparently when she activated that seal, she pulled out the sword and was healed instantly. It gave her a major chakra boost and that guy’s head got smeared on the ground.” 

She’s so cool, as long as you don’t look at her personal life. 

“You’re weirdly okay with violence for a civilian-born,” Sasuke said pointedly. 

“That sounds like you’ve got some stigmas to work out.” 

“Boss!” Someone shouted out distantly. 

All of us turned our heads, spotting a small child wandering around town. Is he even old enough to be out on his own? I know it’s practically the eighties out here, but sheesh. That kid looks like he’s young enough to be in kindergarten. 

“Konohamaru?” Naruto muttered. 

“You know the kid?” 

Currently, said kid was running every which direction with a ridiculously long scarf trailing after him. Why is he even wearing that? It’s the middle of June. 

“Hehe! Yep! That’s my apprentice!” Naruto grinned, wiping his nose. 

“What in the world could someone like you possibly teach anyone?” Sasuke asked bluntly. 

I probably wouldn’t have said it that way, but I shared the same sentiment. 

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I know a lotta stuff!” 

“Like what?” I asked in spite of myself. 

Naruto harrumphed. “Stuff for me to know and my apprentice to learn!”

Sasuke and I watched as he spun on his heel and called out to the kid. They only got to talk for a moment before some tired jonin came up to them and started lecturing them. Naruto pointed at him angrily before twisting his hands into some seal I couldn’t see from afar. I expected a clone to pop out like usual, but instead I was treated to the traumatizing sight of Naruto turning into an older, female, and very naked form of himself. 

“ That’s what he’s teaching to a fucking child?!” I shouted in surprise, too shocked to tease Sasuke for the way he instantly averted his eyes to the trees hanging over us. 

“Well… At the very least, it’s effective?” I mumbled, squinting as the jonin held his nose between his hands and froze on the spot. 

Konohamaru and Naruto were nowhere to be seen by the time the jonin regained his senses. 

“That’s pretty pathetic,” I frowned. 

“Hn.”

I shook my head. “No way that worked. What kind of school boy virgin freezes at the sight of a naked woman like that? He’s a grown ass man for Christ’s sake.” 

“Just forget about it,” Sasuke said with a shake of his head. “No one can make sense of Naruto’s idiocy.” 

Fair. I bit on my lip briefly before turning to Sasuke. 

“Are you upset that I didn’t bring you food?” 

He raised a brow at me. “I’m really not. I can cook for myself.” 

I nodded, still worried. “That’s what I thought when I was making it. I just know that Naruto eats absolute garbage, so I need to make sure he supplements himself. I figured you knew how to make sure you were healthy, though, so I didn’t make you one.” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Sasuke scoffed. “Trust me, I get it. Naruto’s…” 

He swallowed and looked away. I glanced at him wearily. There were a lot of things Sasuke had trouble expressing, but I got the feeling that this one was something even he wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.

“Naruto’s Naruto,” I offered. 

He sighed and relaxed against the bridge. “Yeah.” 

“Do you think you’re going to try to learn anything before the exam? We’ve only got a week, but you’re a fast learner.” 

“Well, I doubt we’ll see Kakashi before July,” Sasuke sighed. 

“Hey, you could do theoretical work in the meantime. Maybe brush up on some academy standards. The first thing we’re probably going to do is a written exam.”

He hummed, neither confirming nor denying. Well, as long as he considers it. 

“I’m going to grab a mission. I’ll see you later, unless you want to come with?” 

Sasuke scrunched his nose in distaste. “A D-rank? No thank you.” 

“You’ve been on one C-rank, calm down,” I rolled my eyes. “But whatever. Have fun being bored.” 

Sasuke muttered something under his breath, but I was already walking away. Honestly, that kid. The mission desk was busy as ever. Some genin team I couldn’t quite place was getting a mission with their sensei. I doubt it’s their first C-rank, they look too calm and prepared for that. Probably just some last minute work before the exam. I waited in line patiently, not at all envious of the chunin on the mission’s rotation. It was probably a nice break for those who were normal people instead of the adrenaline-junkies my team seemed to be full of, but I imagine it got old fast.

“Hello,” I greeted politely. “I’d like to pick up a D-rank.”

“Name and registration?” THe chunin yawned, flipping through a stack of papers. 

“Sakura Haruno. 012601.”

“Any sort of mission preference?” 

“Babysitting or pet sitting, please.” 

He hummed before digging for a scroll under the desk. 

“It’s just one kid, should be simple,” he said as he handed me the scroll. 

I nodded at him and said thank you before leaving the queue. The mission was, surprisingly, not in the civilian part of town. Rather, it was in the chunin housing units. None of these positions were mandated, but people tended to drift there on their own. I scanned through the scroll, my eyes furrowing. This… isn’t a few hour job. It’s a three day job. It’s house sitting and babysitting. 

I turned down the street, heading to my apartment. It said they would be leaving upon the arrival of the person who accepted the mission, so I might as well actually be prepared. Once I got to my apartment, I filled my backpack with a few changes of clothes, some money, and a few weapons. The weapons were stuffed under the other stuff, just in case the kid somehow managed to get into it. 

I watered my plant and put the slices of beef I had in the fridge into the freezer. After grabbing my toothbrush and comb, I was on my merry way. The mission parameters said that the kid was five, which is great. I just have to make sure she washes up and eats, but she can do the other stuff on her own. Unless her dad tells me otherwise, I guess. Who’s Mawashi Dokuraku? Well, besides being this little girl’s father. I guess it doesn’t really matter. I’ve already decided to take the mission. The apartment building the address leads me to is really nice. Like, ridiculously nice. 

This was probably one of those places that went for at least 22k a month. Even if I was doing pretty alright financially now, I’d still have to dedicate a serious amount of time to save up for that. Not to mention that I planned to drop at least 5 grand on furniture in the next few days. My apartment is honest to God so depressing. If I didn’t live there, I’d be questioning its habitability. I only had to climb up one set of stairs to get to Mawashi’s apartment, which was pretty nice.

I knocked on the door, one that was a boring white color, and took a step back as I waited for my client to answer. When the door opens, it reveals a stern-looking man with brown hair peeking out from under his bandana-style headband. He huffed when he saw me, his eyes narrowing behind a pair of black glasses. He was fully decked out, so I guess he really was just waiting on me. I kind of felt bad. I mean, what if his mission is time sensitive? The scroll didn’t mention it, but then again, maybe he just couldn’t say. 

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to come in?” He asked sharply, opening the door more widely to let me in. 

“Sorry, sir,” I nodded in his direction before crossing the threshold. 

The apartment was just as nice on the inside as it was on the outside. There was a framed tanto up on the wall, one that was solid black with a strip of red around the handle. There weren’t any pictures scattered here and there, but the house still radiated warmth. There were carpets, blankets, shoes, and toys spread around the house. It was… weirdly cute. I spotted Mawashi’s daughter peeking around the corner of the house. Her hair was dark brown like her father’s and tied into two low pigtails. 

“I’ll be gone for three days and two nights, but if anything urgent arises, you can head down to the intelligence building and ask the secretary, Nara-san, to send a message to me. I’ll be back on the third day at around four in the evening.” 

I nodded, writing what he told me down at the bottom of the mission scroll. A little unprofessional, but the mission desk can suck my dick if they have a problem with it.  

“Mira keeps a general schedule, but her meal times are absolute. Mira’s sensitive to gluten, so don’t let her convince you to have just any sweets. Her schedule is above the kitchen sink. She doesn’t go to school yet. She has to have a bath every night, not every other day as she might try to convince you. Obviously no sharp objects and no congregating at other’s houses without me here,” he rattled off, his last sentence more pointed at his daughter. 

He glanced at me, his lips pursing. “Good, you’re taking notes. She may go to the park, but you may not leave her unattended. Mira has to have an eye on her at all times, lest she get into some mischief. She’s allergic to cats, so make sure she doesn’t try to chase one of the strays around. It’s supposed to be windy tomorrow, so make sure she wears a jacket. Mira hasn’t eaten yet. There’s ingredients in the fridge if you’re capable of making a meal. If not, take her somewhere and let me know when I return so I can reimburse you. She’s not allowed to see a movie this week as she misbehaved last week. Her punishment has already been established, so don’t let this affect your treatment of her for these next few days. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir,” I replied dutifully. I held out my hand to him. “Sakura Haruno, 012601. I’ll fulfill my task without a hitch.” 

Normally I’d cringe at being this… Naruto-esque about something, but I feel like this guy’s someone who’d appreciate it. His handshake was firm and short. 

“I’d expect no less. I’m sure I don’t have to say what would happen if my daughter reports anything out of line?” 

“Yes, sir. I am fully prepared to face any consequences you deem necessary if my services are lackluster.” 

God, I feel like I’m a waiter all over again. The worst part is that it was a Red Lobster instead of some actually good place. Even Olive Garden is half a step up from that. Well. Okay, I won’t go that far. They’re both equally not good. Not bad, I guess. Just definitely not good. 

He nodded sharply, turning his head over to his daughter again. She seemed to sense that that was her cue. He crouched down to be face-to-face with her and told her to be on her best behavior. With a sickeningly sweet giggle, she promised she would be. Something in the back of my mind buzzed. This is exactly the shit my little brother would pull before rolling around in dog shit and hugging the life out of everyone he could get his grubby little hands on. This didn’t bode well for me at all. 

“Come back soon, kay?” Mira asked in a tiny voice, the first rays of sincerity shining through her devil child aura. 

Mawashi sighed and pressed a kiss to her hair before he stood up. “I’ll do my best.” He turned to me, all warmth from his voice and person gone. “Don’t mess up.” 

I nodded. He gave his daughter one last once-over and sent a vaguely threatening look my way before he finally left the fucking apartment. Mira stared longingly at the door before glancing at me. I raised a brow at the five year old that was obviously trying to size me up. 

“So. Want to do anything in particular?” I asked. 

“Is your hair really pink?” Mira asked, as if she’d been holding it in since the moment she laid eyes on me. 

To be fair, I’d probably be wondering the same thing. 

“Last time I checked,” I said, quirking up my lips a little. “Do you think it looks bad on me?”

She shook her head frantically, figurative stars dancing in her eyes. 

“Can we make my hair pink?!” She shouted excitedly, bouncing on the tips of her toes. 

She looked like she was ready to put up a fight. I huffed and thought about it for a second. Do I really want to deal with a tantrum within the first ten minutes of me meeting this kid?

“Yeah, why not? We just have to go to the market to pick up some hair chalk.” 

No way in hell I’d do it with actual dye. Hair chalk washes off with water. Hopefully her dad doesn’t kill me for this. I mean, he shouldn’t, right? I’m keeping his kid happy with non-permanent activities. 

“Really?!” Her eyes light up again. “No take backs, okay?!” 

“Course, kiddo. I’m a ninja, ya know,” I sniffed dramatically. “We don’t lie.” 

She huffed right back at me, her hands flying to her hips. “That’s so not true! Daddy lies all the time! Like that time he said he would take me to get mochi and he took me to the stinky doctor instead.” 

I whistled. “Wow, that’s so rude to you.” 

“I know!” She stomped her foot. “We never ended up getting mochi.” she sniffled, looking significantly sadder. “He had to do a silly eval… ation? At work.” 

I crouched down to be at her eye level. “Man, that really sucks. Is mochi your favorite?” 

“Yeah,” she whispered, her eyes downcast. “It’s one of the things daddy always lets me have, since it’s gluten-free.”

I hummed. “How about this? You put on your most comfortable shoes and I take you to lunch. Afterwards we can go to the market to pick up some hair c- dye so you can have pink hair and then we can get some mochi before we come home. Does that sound fair to you?” 

She smiled shyly, finally meeting my eyes. “You’re the best, nee-san!”

I pat her hair and stood up, my knees popping quietly. Ah, I didn’t do my stretches this morning. 

“Alright, alright. Go to the bathroom before we leave, okay?”

Mira nodded seriously and took off down the hall. About a minute after she closed the door behind her, I could hear the sharp echo of her high-pitched voice. 

“I’m going number two, nee-san!” 

I coughed and tried not to choke on my laughter as I wandered into the kitchen to take a peek at her schedule. Even though this apartment is a lot nicer than mine, I had to wonder if the walls were any thicker. 

“That’s great, kiddo! Make sure to wash your hands after!” 

“Okay!”

The chart wasn’t overly complex. In fact, I’m pretty sure it only existed to make the kid feel included. It was primarily littered with meeting dates and reminders about Mawashi’s work. Mira’s parts were written in sparkly blue marker. It included meal times, doctor appointments, her bed times, and a few scheduled play dates. I had to wonder who Moegi was. It doesn't matter, I guess. Not unless we happen to see them at the park. A potential problem for tomorrow’s me. 

I scribbled the set times on the back of the mission scroll, figuring that more couldn’t possibly hurt at this point. It was about twenty five minutes too soon for her lunch time, but the walk to whatever restaurant the tyke wants to go to will probably cover that time. I try to think of things she can safely ingest. The shit part about it is that she can’t have soy sauce and that’s in nearly everything. I guess I’ll just have to see if the place has temari sauce on hand instead. I heard the toilet flush and a small dragging noise before the sink turned on. I led myself back to the living room and waited by the door for Mira to show up. 

She came running out the bathroom, frantically wiping her hands on her shirt and speeding towards her sandals. As soon as she had them on, she was tugging on the hem of my shirt and hurrying me out the door. 

“Hold on! Do you even know what you want to eat?!” I protested, struggling to grab the keys and lock the door before she forced me out of the apartment. 

“Yakitori! Duh!” 

Right. My bad for missing that totally obvious choice. 

“Fine! Fine, okay. But if you want to go, you have to be good,” I warned. “If you misbehave, I’m just going to bring you back here and make you eat whatever’s in the fridge.” 

“No!” She screeched. “It’s just full of cabbage and daddy’s poop yogurts!” 

I pressed my lips together to stop myself from laughing. “Okay! See? You need to behave. Come on.” 

Mira reluctantly took my hand and followed me down the stairs. She only tried to run off twice, which I count as a win. I’m just glad there’s only one of her. 

“Can we go to Oji-san’s for yakitori?” Mira asked excitedly. 

“He has a restaurant?” I asked in surprise. 

Mira nodded excitedly. “It’s called The Skewer!” 

More often than not, being a shinobi runs in the family. Civilian born ninja were definitely becoming less and less rare, but that doesn’t mean we’re exactly common. It’s cool to know someone else like me, though. The ranks are always overwhelmingly flooded with clan kids, which I don’t hold any resentment of, so it’s good to see some sort of representation other than Naruto and his sad life as an orphan. It’s just good to know someone’s… normal? Like, no strings of tragedy attached to accompany their career. 

“Yeah, sounds good kiddo,” I grinned at her. “You know the way?”

“Yes!” She groaned. “Hurry, hurry!” 

I kept my pace at a fast walk, but I wasn’t about to sprint across town for this child. She didn’t seem keen on complaining, which I’ll take as a small blessing. There’s a hell of a lot of determination in her eyes though. She didn’t even glance at the black and white cat that lounged beside the road, but maybe that’s because she developed tunnel-vision. I wonder if most of her babysitters just constantly shut her down. 

Eventually we made it to a shop that I confused for Ichiraku’s. It was set up extremely similarly, but the curtains in front were jade green. There were a few money plants in front of the stand, which added a surprising amount to the atmosphere. Mira didn’t hesitate to march in, the curtains too high up to reach her. 

“Oji-san!” Mira cried, trying and failing to climb up onto one of the stools. 

I followed her into the small restaurant and made eye contact with who I can only assume are Mira’s uncle and aunt. They seemed confused for only a moment before Mira jumped up in another attempt to climb onto the stool. Relieved, the woman in the shop went back to tend to everything in the back. 

“Oh! Mira! Hello, you must be her babysitter,” Mira’s uncle fussed. 

“Sakura Haruno, sir,” I greeted politely.

“Nee-san, help me up!” Mira whined, giving up and slumping against the stool. 

“You won’t fall off if I put you up there?” I checked wearily. 

“Nu-uh! I’m not a baby !”

“Alright, hold on a second.” 

Mira squirmed the entire time until I set her down on the too-tall stool. I took the one to her left, feeling more comfortable with a seat at the edge of the bar. 

Mira’s uncle regarded us with a thoughtful look. 

“You’ve had her for a while?” He asked, sounding vaguely confused. 

“Nah, this is the first hour of my mission. No problems yet, right squirt?”

Mira grinned proudly. “I’ve been good!” 

“Usually takes longer for her to warm up to people,” he murmured to himself. After a second he cleared his throat and smiled apologetically. “Sorry, I haven’t even given you my name. Akihiko Dokuraku, but everyone just calls me Hiko.” 

I extended my arm across the bar and gave him a smile. “It’s good to meet you.” 

“You too, Haruno-san.” 

I nodded at him and sat back down, glancing at the kid from the corner of my eye. She seemed a little impatient. 

“Can I get you guys anything to drink?” 

“Ramune!” Mira shouted instantly, her eyes and smile wide. 

Hiko only laughed and scribbled it down onto his notepad. “Grape, orange, or strawberry?” 

“Grape, please!” 

He turned to me, his eyes still flickering back to Mira every once in a while. 

“What about you?” 

“I’ll just have water, please.”

He nodded and slid a menu in between Mira and me. “Alright. I’ll be right back.” 

Mira didn’t even glance at the menu. She started chanting ‘chicken’ under her breath until her uncle showed up. Hiko placed a cup of water in front of me and a glass soda with a marble at the top in front of Mira. I watched in amusement as she slammed her hands down on top of the marble with her full strength. The marble dropped down suddenly, sparking the soda to fizz up in a really pretty way. Yeah, I get why she was excited for the drink. 

“Do we know what we want?” 

“The usual!” Mira crowed, taking an eager sip of her soda. 

Hiko nodded, wordlessly turning to me with expectant eyes. 

“I’ll have some ikayaki, please. Spicy.” 

“Not a problem at all. I’ll be back soon.” 

I took the time to relax a little, taking small sips of water while we waited. Mira was absorbed in spinning her soda bottle to watch the marble move around the glass. I let her be. I focused on the small snippets of conversation I would hear as people walked by and the sound of my squid frying in the kitchen. The drifting smell of chili oil made Mira sneeze twice in a row. I handed her a paper napkin. Soon enough, our food was being brought out to us. I gazed upon the golden squid and the chili sauce that coated it reverently. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. I hardly noticed Hiko telling us to enjoy our food before I dug in like a savage. Mira giggled at something, probably me, before she thanked her uncle and dug into her own food. There was no conversation between us solely because of how invested we were in this place’s delicious food. 

I was devastated when I finished eating, even though I was comfortably full. Squid wasn’t my favorite thing in the world, but now I’m willing to change my mind on that. The power of good food. 

“Come on, come on,” Mira poked me. “Hurry and pay so I can have pink hair!” 

I rolled my eyes  and helped her down the stool she was on before paying for our meals and saying goodbye to Hiko. I groaned and sped up once I realized that Miro was already down the street. Apparently she can only follow directions for so long. Thankfully five year olds have tiny legs. I was able to catch up pretty quickly. Once I placed a firm hand on her shoulder, Mira looked up at me sheepishly and stuttered out an apology. 

“That’s strike one, missy,” I warned. “You’re putting your chance of getting mochi at stake.” 

“No!” She hissed before clenching a tiny fist righteously. “I will be… good!”

Wow, I could almost imagine the pouring rain and surrounding thunder. She’d be a good batman. True to her word, Mira was excellently behaved on our way to the store. She didn’t even look around once. I think she’s taking this too seriously, but hey, it spares me the headache. I grabbed a shopping basket once we finally walked into the store. Mira looked like she wanted to bolt straight to the cosmetic isles, but was too afraid of getting another strike. Too bad, she just has to suck it up. 

“You’ll do it with me, right?” Mira asked as she rolled around the pink hair chalk in her hands. 

“Me?” I asked with a raised brow. “I already have pink hair, in case you haven’t noticed.” 

Mira scrunched her nose at me. “Then let’s get another color!” 

“Oh, yeah? What do you think would look good with pink?”

Mira hummed, sorting through all the different shades of hair chalk. She frowned at most of the warm colored ones. She held up a lime-green chalk with a victorious smile. 

“This one!” 

I sweat dropped, already mentally preparing myself to look like a highlighter. 

“Alright. Is that all?” 

Mira looked around frantically before running down the aisle. She held up two sheet masks and three bottles of nail polish. I shivered. I’ve had spa days with my sisters before. Sheet masks were always excessively cold and slimy. Mira rushed back and put the hair chalk and face masks into the basket before she showed me the nail polish. 

“Look! This one's for me, cuz my favorite color is yellow, and this one is for you cuz boys have to wear black, and then this one is the top coat so the color’s don’t get ruined,” she explained seriously. 

I felt my breath get stuck in my windpipe. 

“Black is for boys?” I asked wearily.

She nodded, her expression still serious. It occurred to me that she might have been calling me ‘nii-san’ instead of ‘nee-san’ like I assumed. I took a deep breath and tried not to cry. 

“Mhm. Everyone knows only girls get the good nail polish colors. Black and dark green is for boring boys.” 

“Where’d you learn that?” I asked, trying to calm my beating heart. 

“Ensui-oji!” Mira grinned smugly. “He lets me do his nails cuz they always look bad when he does them.” 

I nodded, finally calming down enough to not feel fragile anymore. 

“Come on,” I nudged her back. “Let’s go pay for this stuff.” 

“Mn!”

I made sure we went to the cashier that seemed too tired to try and make small talk with us. True to my expectations, she did nothing more than charge us. Mira was swinging our hands back and forth, seemingly unable to wait to get mochi. 

“Well, looks like it’s time to go home,” I teased. 

“No!” Mira froze. “Mochi!”

I hummed. “Mochi? What is that again…” 

“It’s the bestest dessert ever!” Mira shouted passionately. “Especially the ones filled with mango and cream!” 

“Oh, that mochi,” I nodded. “I can’t believe I forgot. I guess we better pick some up, huh?” 

Mira grinned, failing to contain a squeal even though she covered her mouth with her hands. We got an order of six. Two mango with whipped cream, two peanut and sweet potato filled ones, and finally two lotus and sesame seed mochi. Does mochi have a plural form? I hope not. Mochies sounds cursed. 

Mira rushed me to get to her apartment faster, her smile unwavering. I can only hope all the excitement makes her extra tired so I don’t have to deal with a tantrum before bed. I tasked Mira with carrying the bag to mitigate some of her focus. It didn’t stop her from running up the stairs to her apartment, though. I tried to tune out her whining while I opened the door and breathed a sigh of relief when she went crashing into the apartment. 

“What should we do first?” I asked a little hesitantly. 

“Hair!” 

Yeah, I should have seen that one coming. I gestured to the hallway. 

“Come on, let’s go somewhere there’s a mirror.” 

Mira dug through the bag and snatched the two hair chalks before rushing to the bathroom. I shook my head and took off my shoes before I followed her deeper into the house. When I got to the well-lit bathroom, I saw Mira standing on a yellow step stool to help her reach the sink. 

“Alright, I’m going to do the front pieces of your hair, okay?” 

Mira nodded, intensely staring that the mirror. She didn’t even look at me when she handed me the pink hair chalk. Even on the stool, Mira was a lot shorter than me. I brushed her hair and separated her fringe from the rest of it. Mira gasped at the first streak of pink to color her hair. 

“Stay still,” I warned when her bouncing got a little too intense. “Or else it’ll come out uneven.” 

Mira did her best, her little fingers drumming against the porcelain in front of her. When I finished one half, she took a thirty second break to shake out her jitters. It was as adorable as you imagine. She hopped back onto the stool and told me to keep going. I only smirked at her before I went to finish the other side. 

“Looks good?” I asked when I finished. 

“I look so cool!” Mira squealed, squishing her face together. “Your turn next!” 

I didn’t object as Mira hopped onto the sink, balancing on her knees to reach my hair. 

“Turn around- not that far. To the side.” 

I still had to slouch a little so she could properly reach my head without tugging on my hair every other second. After she had been at it for a while, I got a little nervous. 

“Mira, how much of my hair are you coloring?” 

“Just half! Stop being a baby.” 

I sighed and resigned myself to looking like a watermelon. She took a significantly longer time on my hair than I took on hers, but then again, what did I expect? Tiny hands, bigger surface area. After what I estimate to be ten minutes, Mira declared that she was done. I turned to the mirror, trying to keep my face neutral. 

“So?” Mira asked, her eyes painfully hopeful. 

“I love it,” I cringed. “You’re so talented!” 

Mira clapped her hands together. “Let’s go to the park!” 

“Right now?” 

She nodded, her tiny teeth on fully display. I sighed internally.

“Okay. Let’s go.” 

We stayed at the park until dinner time. A few civilian parents laughed at my expense and told me I was a good older sibling. They couldn’t seem to decide if I was a girl or boy, which was strangely more comforting than it should be. The ones that did decide on one title settled on older sister, which is entirely off. I didn’t correct anyone. 

Dinner was me getting lazy and just making sandwiches with gluten-free bread. Don’t ask me how that works, I didn’t even understand it in my own world. After eating, we sat down in front of the tv. I had the pleasure of watching Princess Gale: The Origins while Mira tried to explain every single detail to me. I absorbed none of it, but it seemed to make her proud. When the movie was done, Mira brought out the face masks and some coloring pages. She did my nails once we were done with that and insisted I do hers. 

She colored another page while we waited for our nails to dry. By then, it was a little past eight. I made Mira take a bath and brush her teeth and sent her to bed. God. This was a long day. I should have just taken the mission back. I’m not judging the child, but I get burned out with long exposure to people I’m not used to. I sighed and cleaned up the mess we left behind before crashing onto the couch. Hey, free tv. I’m not wasting it.

Notes:

This chapter added 20 pages to my google doc O-O It's at 173 pages currently

Christ almighty, I think this is the longest chapter in this book (so far).

Is the ending too rushed? I got so burnt out writing the baby sitting mission.

Chapter 18: Adventures in Babysitting

Summary:

Sam and Mira are big wheel buds

Notes:

IM NOT DEAD I SWEAR

I just got completely side tracked by writing Uchiha lore that I haven’t even published yet. Not for this story, but for Que Sera, Sera.

Also depression but that’s neither here nor there

I woke up ungodly early the next day, no doubt due to the unfamiliar environment. I showered and spent some mindless hours watching the muted tv while I waited for Mira to wake up. Naturally the first thing she did was insist that she repaint my hair and I do half of hers this time. I didn’t see why not. It would, after all, be washed off tonight like it was last night. I made the kid and I some oatmeal with cut up blueberries and a portion of hashbrowns, halfheartedly listening to Mira’s retelling of the dream she had. Apparently she rode a wolf through a river, but the river didn’t wet them at all. 

She mentioned something about a scarecrow with a black witch’s hat and a pink umbrella at some point, but I had tuned out. When I tuned back in, she was passionately making explosion sounds and crying out ‘nooo, my umbrella!’ I didn’t even ask. I just nodded when she told me that her rainbow duck boots allowed her and the wolf to win the day and avenge the umbrella. Kids are something else, man. I’m just glad Mira didn’t try to make me participate more in this tale. Luckily for me, she seemed to like talking a lot more than active participation. 

I took our dishes to the sink to wash, noting that Mira shifted gears from talking about a dream she had to talking about wanting to have a puppy. I’m pretty sure her dad is firmly in the: no pets allowed category, so I’m not even going to make it seem like that’s something she can get with me. 

“What are we doing today, Mira?” I asked as I put the dishes on the drying rack. 

“Pet store!” 

“We’re not buying anything,” I shut her down. 

Mira pouted, trying to pull herself up onto the counter and failing miserably. 

“Just to look? Pleaseeeee,” she begged. 

“Just to look and only for an hour.” 

Mira nodded eagerly. I dried my hands on my shirt and gestured towards the front door. 

“Go put on your shoes so we can head out.” 

Mira raced forward, eagerly tugging her shoes on. I hid a yawn behind my hand before following her to the door. To her credit, going to a pet shop in the morning was a great call. It really lifted my mood. The hamsters in particular were cute as hell, but I had to keep reminding Mira to keep her hands to herself. I was done admiring all the animals the store had to offer about twenty minutes in, but I promised the kid an hour and I would stick to that. 

We went to the library afterwards. I found myself aching for the familiarity of church in the morning and brunch afterwards, but catholicism was long behind me. I’d probably never feel that leather bound book again and the verses I bothered to learn would fade in time. I wonder if godparents were a thing here. Well, whether it’s for better or worse, the bible and the culture that formed around it would be lost to this place. I had no intention of introducing it to the polytheistic land I lived in. 

It was interesting to read up on the holy strictures that this world had to offer. They were seemingly verified by people who were able to record them approximately five hundred years ago, just about three hundred years older than the village itself. Human history before then was very rarely written down. It was a confusing timeline, to say the least. Especially when you took into account the fact that a lot of animals in this land were able to access a different plane in the same world. How the hell does this work? 

“Nii-san, I’m bored,” Mira said quietly, putting down the story book she was paging through. 

“Kay,” I yawned. “Want to go to the park or something?” 

Mira nodded. We spent most of the day there, having stopped at a convenience store to pick up some picnic foods. Hey, if all I have to do is sit on my ass, then I’ll take it. I watched the kid run around and show off her hair to anyone who would spare her the attention, my fingers itching for a phone. 

She was pretty worn out after then, having spent all day playing with the kids who came and went. I cooked dinner at home, letting her complete small tasks so I could keep an eye on her and let her feel useful. She did try to convince me to let her watch the new Princess Gale movie, as if I’d magically forgotten what her father told me after a single day, which I shot down without remorse. 

Big tears started to well up in her eyes and her body started to shake. I rose a pink brow at her threats of a tantrum. 

“Sit down, Mira,” I said, patting the couch. 

Her face scrunched up with more effort. If she yells at me, I swear to God.

“Don’t wanna,” she blubbered stubbornly. 

“Okay, so what do you want to do?” 

“Watch the new movie!” 

“I’d love to take you kiddo, but your dad set that rule, not me.”

“It’s not fair!” 

I leveled her an even stare, unwilling to back down at the first stomp of her foot. 

“What’s not fair? That you fulfill a punishment for something you did? Besides, I think I’ve been really nice to you. Just look at your hair.” 

“But I want to see the new movie so bad .” 

“How come?” 

“It’s Princess Gale!” 

Even though she said this laced with some reverence, Mira wasn’t backing down. She was upset and working herself up to worse. 

“Mira, your dad said your punishment would last a week, right?” 

She nodded sourly. 

“What day is it today, tyke?” 

She sniffled. It did nothing for the boogers trailing down her face. 

“Saturday.” 

“Right. That means that after tonight, you only have to wait two days before you ask your dad. Isn’t that exciting?” 

“But I want to watch it now, ” Mira whined miserably, tossing herself onto the floor without much fire. 

She just seemed resigned. 

“Why don’t you think of something to do while you wait?” 

“Like what?” She scoffed. 

I rolled my eyes. 

“Like… why don’t you write down everything about Princess Gale so far, and then maybe what you think happens in the movie. You can draw your favorite scenes and think of a reason to let your dad let you watch the new movie soon.” 

Mira threw her arms up, wiggling her fingers dramatically. 

“But I don’t have paper or pencils!” 

“Well, that’s too bad,” I sighed. “I guess you’ll just have to be bored until Monday comes.” 

Mira let her limbs drop and sighed heavily. She didn’t reply for a while. I glanced at the clock occasionally to see how long her silence and stillness lasted. After ten minutes, an impressive amount of time for a five year old, Mira dragged herself up and started searching through her art supplies. Mira didn’t talk to me while she scribbled on the pages, her childish drawings slowly filling the pages. 

My lips twitched up as she drew a smiley face in the sun, which was of course drawn at the corner of the page. I kept half an eye on Mira, allowing myself to slip into a half meditative state. I’ve never really felt anything with meditation. I didn’t hate it, but I also never really felt grounded like most people said it was supposed to. In this world, the tedious task had its merits. I led my chakra through my body, the quiet scratch of color pencils on paper serving as a good background for this kind of work. 

I stopped when I estimated fifteen minutes of time had passed. The kid had drawn three pages in full by then, but she looked bored as she filled out the fourth one. We read a few chapter books afterwards. Well, I read out loud. Mira made a fort on the living room floor. We took a break between the short chapters, really the things were only six to eight pages, as she ceremoniously brought stuffed animals out of her room and into the fort. 

“Come lay inside with me!” Mira huffed, securely tucked under a large blanket. 

I really don’t want to. 

“Why don’t I make you a snack, hm?” 

“Ooh, what kind?” 

“A surprise,” I grinned, sincerely hoping she wouldn’t volunteer to come with me. “Why don’t you keep reading? Here.”

I walked into the kitchen before she could protest. I glanced at my nails, the dark green polish still as shiny as the day the kid applied it. I was surprised there weren't any chips in it, but I guess I haven’t really been doing anything that would cause it. I ran my fingers across the top of it. Is nail polish supposed to be this smooth? The one time I’d had them painted before, unwillingly, it was rough and easily cracked. 

I had been picking at them until my mother forced my older sister to use acetone on them. She’d been furious, though I never really got why. Not until I was older. Eventually she passed that hurtle, but it took two of her kids threatening to walk out to do it. I clenched my fist and let out a slow breath. I looked around the kitchen, suddenly aware that I had a promise to keep to the kid. 

The easiest thing to make would be fudge, but this world has a gross lack of chocolate. You know what exists everywhere here? Peanut butter. I can just make fudge with that, probably. I mean, chocolate fudge is pretty much just chocolate and condensed milk. Peanut butter fudge can’t be that different. It’s already sticky, though not really sweet. Sugar needs to be added. 

Usually I would also say butter as an oil factor, but the peanut butter here isn’t processed like everything else I used to eat. Sugar by itself wouldn’t really work as a binding agent to the peanut butter. I sighed as I spotted a mortar and pestle. I’d have to grind normal sugar into powdered sugar to make this work. If I find any vanilla, I’d add some of that too. I’d have to use a lot of sugar to compensate for the runniness of the peanut butter. 

My eyes flickered to the entrance of the living room. It’s better than the alternative, and I already promised. I’m not great with the whole… prolonged human contact kind of thing. Kids are usually fine, but that’s ‘cause I deal with them for short intervals of time. I’ve also never had one get comfortable this quick. In general, kids are clingy fuckers. Their nails hurt, they like to tug at everything they can get their hands on, and if you stop watching them for even a second, they’ll shove an earthworm up their nose. 

I usually have time to acclimate, to get fond enough not to mind. I poured some sugar into the mortar and let my mind buzz away. I’m not good with strangers. Especially not strangers I can’t treat the same. If they’re a coworker, I can just be polite and maybe just a little snarky. If they’re my boss, I can be polite and quiet. If they’re a kid, I can’t exactly do any of those things. They take things to heart and expect you to be some level of entertaining. It’s a headache. 

I felt the tautness of my muscles and struggled to relax. I don’t mind kids. I don’t. I’m just not a fan, either. Even though I’d accepted this a long time ago, it still felt wrong. I could still imagine my parents’ disappointed looks and weary rejections as I told them my decision. I was angry, at first. They had a shit ton of kids, so what does it matter if I didn’t have any grandkids for them? The anger turned inwards after a few days. 

Everyone wanted kids. My hand clenched tighter around the pestle. The idea of it makes my skin crawl. I remember being there when my older sister, Rosy, had her first. Her husband was scared shitless, almost hyperventilating more than my sister. When my niece officially came into the world, the first thought I had was thank fucking God I’m not this child’s father. I was excited to hold her and excited to love her, but it wouldn’t be nearly the same as a parent. 

I felt disgusted with myself, even as she was passed from person to person and eventually to me. It was a battle. It took me a while to fall in love with her. My eyes watered slightly. I told myself it was from the rising powder rather than the sentimentality that came with thinking about Shanna. I took a deep breath and rifled through the pantry until I found a jar of peanut butter. 

Getting the mixture to the right consistency was annoying. It took a lot more sugar than I thought it would have and finding something to store it in was even more annoying. I popped it in the fridge and went to check on Mira, not having heard the turning of a page in a while. She was sleeping, thankfully. I much prefer it to mischief making. 

I went back into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, my fingers itching to find something hard to drink. I definitely need to do something to make myself calm down. Is this what I’m going to be for the rest of my life? Afraid of everything that reminds me of myself? I can’t let that happen, it’d be miserable. For now I took a few deep breaths and focused on the upcoming exam. 

Would it be too difficult for us to overcome the first time? I think so, but that’s sort of the point. Once we get a feel for the expectations, we can fulfill our job to the best of our abilities. What will they test us on? Intelligence, time management, flexibility, survival skills, strength? They’re all valid choices. They’re all essential skills. Does Kakashi expect us to pass? Is he just trying to get rid of us as soon as he can? I don’t think he is. Then again, what do I know? Maybe I should prepare myself to suddenly be left on my own. 

When you’re a chunin, you’re either solo riding or in a specialization where your mentors are your peers. The fun part about that second one is the application processes. You have to have a way in or a clan to back you up to smoothly transition from feeble genin to moldable chunin. If you don’t have either and can’t network effectively, you’re stuck in the reserves and shuffled around as needed. I scratched the back of my head and sighed, eyes glancing at the digital clock on the stove. I really should have realized that being a bitch to everyone in my year would do me no favors. Now I have to dig my way into the upper-years and hope they won’t just scoff at a genin trailing after their heels. 

I show promise in the finer arts of this world, that being genjutsu and healing. Genjutsu means a shit ton of studying and so does healing, which is probably why so few people care enough to specialize in it. I’m in the majority on that front, but it’s what I show the most potential in, so should I just suck it up? Being a tank sounds the most appealing. It’s straightforward and always needed, so it’s not like I’d be doing something of less value than I could be. I leaned further back onto the counter, a slow sense of guilt slithering into me. There’s such a huge lack of medics in Konoha, especially field medics. Our surgeons are constantly swamped. Fuck, I really don’t want to this, but if I can, doesn’t that sort of make it an obligation? Should I start looking into it? I’m pretty sure the hospital offers internships. 

I’ll at least try it out. I owe it to my fellow people to be helpful where most can’t. It might even be nice. I glanced at the clock again and went to take the fudge out of the fridge to cut. Mira was stirring in the pillow fort, but she didn’t seem to be waking up. My vision tunneled straight onto the knife as I cut across her treat. It’s a kitchen knife, one of the most common household items. When it’s in my hand, all I can think of is its inefficient design. The weight of the handle, the fragility of the steel, the one dimensional design. It would only be useful once in combat. My lips pressed tightly against each other. I shouldn’t think like this. 

Didn’t I just establish that I’d try healing? I really shouldn’t be so trigger happy. Come on, Sam. Hipaa rules. What does it even stand for again? Shit, now I sort of wish I paid attention when Rosy watched Chicago Med. I thought back to the dramatic shouting and the constant ‘prep or 3!’’s I heard in that cream colored contrast. Nah, I’m glad I skipped out on that. I’m definitely more of a Daredevil kind of guy. Now that’s a show. I put down the knife, done with cutting up the fudge into semi-even squares, and winced slightly. Is it bad that that’s my favorite show because Daredevil regularly beat the crap out of people? 

Mira heaved a huge sigh from within the fort, evidently done with her nap. From the kitchen, I could make out her small form slowly lifting herself out of the nest of blankets she’d surrounded herself in. She waddled more than walked as she made her way over to me. Well. Over to the fudge cubes I’d just cut up. She struggled to reach the counter on her own and I was content just watching her strain to reach the treats. Eventually she got one with the tips of her fingers and popped it into her mouth. Mira chewed slowly with her eyes closed, looking like she was liable to fall asleep on her feet. She nodded and strained to get another handful before wordlessly returning to her fort. I shook my head and put the rest in the fridge. Mira switched through the channels on the tv mindlessly as I leafed through her dad’s bookshelf. 

I don’t know what I expected from it. There’s a thin book about psychology on the top shelf, something that looks self published, and a lot of notebooks. On the bottom two shelves are fairy tales and children’s fables, The middle shelf, that is to say, the third one, is full of texts that sounded awfully dry just from the titles. The one above it, one that Mira couldn’t reach, much less see, was only partially filled with notebooks and heavily filled with strategy books. There’s five books that are deceptively innocent, but as my fingers brush against it, I can feel the thrum of chakra brushing against my own. Don’t , it seems to warn. When my fingers linger a little too long against their beige binding, the chakra becomes some sort of tangible hollow feeling. The calm before a storm. I let my hand fall to my side. 

For the first time since receiving this mission, I wondered just who Mawashi was. He couldn’t possibly be a normal chunin, someone in the reserves who did everything. The books on this shelf would suggest somewhere in the intelligence unit. I think the head of the Nara family sits as its commander. I wondered how far down the latter Mawashi was in the chain of command. 

He seems young enough. Kakashi’s age, or somewhere around there. Younger, I’d be willing to bet. He can’t have done much, surely. If it was the world I was used to… I bit my lip and leaned against the back of the couch. Let’s say he’s in his mid twenties. Realistically, he’d have just graduated university for a job requiring that amount of critical thinking. I sighed. Well. Let’s assume he came straight out of high school with everything he already needed. I pressed my lips together. No, that wouldn’t make sense either. I dropped my head and stopped trying to pretend this world made any sense relative to the world I used to be in.

Kakashi, if all the whispers and fear-mongering held any ground, had become a genin at the age of six. Most children were still learning to run in a straight line at that age. It was sadder than it was impressive, at least to me. I sighed and let my eyes slide back to Mira. I still had another hour and a half to kill with her. Then I could shoo her away to bed. I stretched lightly before reaching for the tv control. There weren’t many channels and the quality really couldn’t be higher than 360p on most of them, but after flicking through a good amount, I found something I really didn’t expect to see. 

“A western film,” I breathed. 

“A what?” Mira yawned. 

“Cowboys,” I grinned. 

“What’s that?” Mira asked suspiciously. 

“Only the coolest people ever! Sit.” I patted the couch expectantly. “Cowboys are the best. Just watch.” 

Mira wasn’t particularly into the movie at first. That was until an appropriately rugged cowboy appeared on screen on top of a gorgeous brown and white horse. Mira’s eyes got huge and reverent. Apparently she’d never seen a picture of them before, just drawings. The premise of this movie was the journey of the cowboy, surprise surprise. His motive for coming to the bandit-filled town was to help his brother, a devout religious man who was never stated to have any particular belief, secure the temple. 

I’ll be honest, the whole brother thing was very confusing. He was dressed sort of like a catholic priest, but he very clearly followed Buddhist beliefs. He was very sympathetic and idealistic, as far as the cast of this movie went anyway. He was easy to like and had this boyish air that a cowboy really couldn’t copy. In short, that weird priest monk person was the perfect candidate to be canon fodder. Sure enough, the standoff between cowboy and bandits featured Mr monk priest as a very talkative hostage. 

Even bound up in ropes on the back of a horse, Mr priest monk preached love and compassion. It was implied, but not directly stated, that his presence is the only thing that kept the bandits alive. The second half of the movie was devoted to setting up a love interest for the cowboy. It was his brother’s apprentice, who for some reason, was a shrine maiden dressed in purple instead of the traditional red. There was a seven year age gap between her and the cowboy (22 to his 29), which was of course the central inner conflict he had. 

Mira was utterly enthralled by this world’s version of a southern drawl. Every time the protagonist said any sort of catchphrase, she’d mouth it to herself two or three times. There was one final rescue scene in the movie before the protagonist left behind his love interest. According to him, the sandy winds of the desert were his one and only love. Mira was nodding off at this point, but she still fought to talk about the movie. Mira fell asleep in the middle of her attempt at cowboy talk, nearly dropping face first into my knees. I sighed and grabbed her before she could give herself a black eye. 

Luckily the kid is tiny. Carrying her to her room wasn’t a problem, but I’d definitely have to give her a bath in the morning. At least this would be over soon enough. I don’t think I’ll take a multi-day babysitting job again. Children give me hives. I tucked Mira into her bed and went to take a shower before settling on the couch to watch another western. Now that it was 9, the one that played was no longer suitable for all ages. 

I took a sip of water and watched the start credits roll onto the screen. Maybe I should get a tv. 

Notes:

The new meds are working! Sorta anyway. Here’s to hoping I write more often :D

Chapter 19: Sam’s Apartment Gets A Makeover

Summary:

Sam’s final day in babysitting actually goes pretty well! It’s just what came after he wished he could avoid.

Notes:

I LIVE

AND SO DOES MY NEPHEW WHO WAS BORN HOURS AFTER I POSTED THE LAST CHAPTER LMAO

Sorry I fucked off for almost a year, but I promise this story is far from dead!

Okay Sam. Final day. I tried to hype myself up, still a little discomforted from my own spiral last night. I really need to get a grip. The kid is great, the issue is me. How do I fix it? I don’t know. The paint on my nails made me feel warm and tense in a conflicting way. I wish I knew why. Maybe then I could sort my issues out and just function. I dragged myself to the bathroom a good while before Mira woke up, determined to look presentable on my last day here. 

My hair is halfway down my neck by now, something I’ll need to take care of before the exams. Mira woke up a bit after I’d finished cooking breakfast. After helping her get ready, she was up and running far more smoothly than I could ever hope. Man, I’m really not a morning person. I looked around the cupboards, but found no coffee in sight. I’m halfway through doing Mira’s hair when she starts asking for today’s activities. I’ve got nothing planned or at hand. 

“Well… what sort of stuff do you want to do?” I ask hesitantly. 

Hopefully she doesn’t try to convince me to get a pet for her again. 

“Shopping!” Her answering chirp is instant and sure. 

I racked my brain for a second, wondering if this is something her father would object to. 

“What kind of shopping?” I asked hesitantly. 

Her face fell into something serious. “Not grocery.” 

I smiled a little. Fair enough. Out of all the types of shopping, grocery was probably the most boring. 

“Well…” I trailed off. “I do need to look at some furniture for my place.” 

Wave’s mission had been reclassified from a C rank to an A rank. The pay was enough to cover three months of expenses, but the lack of furniture was really starting to grate on my nerves. I would rather invest in a nice home than financial security when I could take D-ranks as often as I could to make up for it. 

“Do you think you’d be interested in helping me choose some stuff for my apartment?” 

Mira met my eye through the mirror, judging her hair seriously before nodding in approval. Her hair was pulling back into a ponytail, streaks of pink lining her hair. Thankfully she didn’t insist on painting my hair green like last time. 

“Someone’s got to make sure you don’t make your house ugly,” Mira sniffed haughtily, daintily hopping off her stool and exiting the bathroom with a flounce in her step. 

I shook my head, exasperated. I forgot what it was like to have younger siblings. I ran a hand through my hair and closed the door behind me, going to the kitchen to start on breakfast. Mira worked on a ‘welcome home’ picture for her dad while I cooked. I listened to her lively chatter with half an ear, making sure to not let anything burn while I served her a cup of juice. Mira was just about done with her picture when I set down an omelet in front of her. 

“Thanks, niisan!” She cheered, happily shoving her crayons back into their box and out of her way. 

I set down my plate across from her and hummed in response, still working on getting the last of my sleepiness to ebb. Breakfast was quiet, if only because Mira seemed to be set on breaking the record for quickest time spent on consuming an omelet. I was almost envious. Ah, to be young and bursting with energy. My chewing paused briefly. I’m… I’m not thirty two anymore. I’m thirteen. Twelve? Fuck. 

“Hurry up niisan!” Mira urged, chugging down the rest of her juice and rushing her dishes to the sink. 

I looked at my mostly full plate and back at the kid scrubbing at her plate furiously. I sighed, resigned, and folded my omelet into a thick square, resolutely not thinking about the sheer volume of egg I was consuming. At least the broccoli muted most of the flavor. Still, my cheeks made me look like a chipmunk as Mira came and took my plate and cup to wash. I was still swallowing down the last of my food when Mira ran to the front door. She swung open the door and slammed it closed the second I had stepped out, eagerly running down the stairs. 

“Which store are we going to, Saku-nii?” Mira chirped. 

I… didn’t actually have an answer for that. I’d never even stepped into a furniture store, not in this life or my last. I just ordered everything online. I never even went to an Ikea. 

“Do you want to choose?” I asked, trying to play it off. 

Mira scrunched her nose up in thought. 

“Well,” her squeaky voice trailed off. “There’s a place in front of the laundromat downtown. By the comic book store.” 

“Perfect,” I shrugged. “We can look at some comics when you get bored.” 

Mira beamed up at me, connecting our hands and swinging them as she led me away from the apartment. 

“Do you think they have Princess Gale comics? Oooh, or cowboy ones! Or, or about super strong kunoichi rescuing super handsome princes from danger!” Mira sighed dreamily. “I want to be strong when I grow up. I’m starting the academy soon, you know! Next year when I’m old enough. Meogi-chan, that’s my friend, started this year and I’m super jealous!” 

I hummed here and then, replying in as little words as I could while still appearing engaged in the conversation. Mira detailed her friend’s recounting of her days in the academy, which according to Mira, were filled with training to rescue the Daimyo’s daughter and to protect civilians during emergencies. As someone who held the memories of someone who went to the academy, I could tell instantly that her friend was lying to make her days sound interesting. The first year of the academy was entirely foundational. Reading, writing, math, science, literature, history, art, and current events. Plus recess of course. The second semester started introducing geography of the Elemental Nations, major outposts in Fire, common sub-divisions of the shinobi career, theoretical math, physics, and a whole lot of other stuff Sakura’s brain kept tucked away dutifully. 

“Oh, there it is!” Mira shouted as she ran down the street, straight to the doors of a comic book store. 

“Across the street first, then comics,” I reminded. 

Mira turned on her heel obediently, marching through the heavy glass doors. I caught up in time to stare in wonder at the store before me. There were stained-glass lampshades atop of eerily yellow bulbs, dark gray couches fit for a minimalist house, heavy dark oak dressers, and a lot of second-hand landscape paintings. All of that, seen just at first glance. Looking a bit beyond, I could see just how large the store was. Nothing near the behemoths of department stores in my last life, but something far larger than anything on the rest of the block. If I bent my neck far back enough, I could spot the edges of a flight of stairs leading to an underground floor. 

Mira’s first stop was a collection of tightly wound rugs, each available pattern hung on the wall behind them. 

“That one.” Mira’s point was sure. 

I followed her finger and felt my eyebrows inch closer to my hairline. The rug was bright pink with swirls of yellow and orange, but more than that. It was large . 

“Absolutely not,” I rejected outright. “Especially if you can’t find a couch that would look good with it.”

She spun on her heel without hesitation, pointing at a pink couch with sparkly yellow flowers. I felt my eye twitch. 

“The answer’s still no.” 

Mira gave a very put-upon sigh, slinking over to the next area that caught her eye. I stayed to browse my options, making a mental map of the apartment I hadn’t been in for a few days. While my apartment was disturbingly lacking in color and life, I still refused to have more pink forced onto me. No, anything I got would be cool-toned grays with a pop of color here and there, not a main feature of unicorn barf. Eventually I decided picking a couch before a rug would be more productive. Mira, in the meantime, found a very nice glass coffee table. I wrote down the ticket number of each item on a spare piece of paper and circled back to the rugs to find one that would look good with both the couch and coffee table. My eyes drifted longingly to the stairs. 

I had discovered that downstairs is where the tvs and household appliances were stored. A tv would be great, but I knew it just wouldn’t be a good idea on my budget. Technology was rare in this world, just starting to branch out. The most cutting edge piece of tech down there was a cassette player that connected to clunky headphones. So instead, I chose a carpet and led myself to the table lamps while Mira chose a new duvet for my room. She returned with a stuffed shark that I rolled my eyes at, but didn’t object to. 

Mira grinned, pleased, and trotted off to the art section of the store. I went to look at some curtains to put over the apartment’s blinds and to hang over the balcony’s sliding door. After that, I had two main items I intended to purchase. One: a shoe rack so I could stop leaving my shoes to gather at the door like a heathen and two: a book shelf so I could finally start increasing the amount of books in my collection. If Sakura’s memory serves: the last time she got a new book was for her 10th birthday from her parents. They didn’t really celebrate her birthday anymore once I took over, go-figure. When I went to check up on Mira, she was in an aisle of ceramics. 

There were little figurines, pots meant to keep food warm and slow cook, serving bowls, containers for sugar and salt, and a lot more things I couldn’t list in a reasonable amount of time. Out of all of these things, it was a ceramic pot that caught my eye. It wasn’t for cooking, it was for a plant. It was green with orange leaves painted at the bottom. It sent a rush of comfort that I couldn’t understand. It was probably about time I repotted the plant on my balcony anyway. It’d probably appreciate it. I jotted down the item number and moved on, ushering Mira away from a ceramic pig salt-shaker she was staring at a little too long. 

“Oh, Saku-nii, let me show you the pictures I liked!” 

We spent fifteen minutes arguing about what paintings would make it into my house. I wanted minimalistic, simple paintings. Mira wanted a painting of a crouching tiger snarling in warning over its cub. I wrote down its number just to watch her beam, knowing I’d request the mountain and Hashirama tree forest paintings. Satisfied, Mira went to look at the posters. I left to look at a small outdoor dining set for the balcony. This time, Mira came to find me. She carried a few magazines in her hands, showing them off one by one. I kept two for me and allowed her to pick one out to take home, simply reminding her to choose something she couldn’t get at a comic book store. 

By the time I was done choosing everything I wanted, most of the morning had passed. Mira was content to explore the store, especially downstairs where she got me to buy more plates and cups and matching cooking utensils. The cashier had looked at me with a tired look in his eye when I handed him the list of everything I wanted and set the items Mira had brought me onto the counter.

“So you want all this delivered, right?” He asked, resigned. 

“Yes please.” I gave my most polite smile. 

He sighed anyway, burdened shoulders hunching into him. “Name and address?” 

I tapped to the top of the paper where I’d already written it down. If anything, he seemed even more tired at the fact. 

“Okay, your total will be 17,837 yen. Would you like to pay in installments or a single cash or check exchange.” 

“What’s easier for you; cash or check?” I asked, throwing a bone to the clearly tired teenager in front of me. 

“Check,” he almost whimpered. 

“Alright, then we’ll go with check.” 

He sagged in relief, head bent over a cash register as he muttered something that sounded like a grateful prayer. I raised a brow at him as I fished for my checkbook, realizing that I actually hadn’t used it since I got it when I set up my own bank account. Mira caught my gaze and intently stared at the kid before us. I shrugged. 

“Sorry,” he sighed. “We’ve just gotten a lot of work recently. They’re finally replacing all the furniture that got sacrificed to that one kid’s chaos. I heard he graduated from the academy recently, which explains why the streets are clean for once.” 

I tilted my head. A kid’s chaos? 

“What kid? And what chaos, if you don’t mind me asking?”

The teenager’s face turned grumpy. “Some Natsuko kid or something. Uzukami? I don’t know, but he used to scream his head off at 7 in the morning and set off glitter bombs that wrecked all the outdoor seating, plants, and a lot of the fences around. The pay is good but the amount of work it takes to get everything done is so tiring. Thanks for ordering ready-made, by the way. I might have broken down into sobs if I had to make another oak table.”

My eyebrow twitched. Naruto’s pranks hadn’t stopped at the academy or at defacing the Hokage Mountain, it seemed. 

“I am so sorry you had to deal with that. At least it’s over?” 

“Small mercies,” the kid agreed as he accepted the check I handed him. “Do you want this delivered at a specific time or is this evening fine?” 

“What time today?” I asked politely. 

“We can send a genin runner any time convenient for you, as long as it's an hour after you’ve placed the order.” 

“Oh! That’s convenient. Could you have someone swing by at 5:45?”

The good thing about summer was the longer hours. The sun didn’t set until 8 and so the genin corps didn’t stop accepting missions until then. 

“Yes, I’ll send someone then. Thank you for your patronage,” he said as he handed me the magazines and shark plush in a paper bag. 

I nodded at him and jerked my head to the door at Mira. She ran off ahead as usual and held the door open for me even though only one of my hands was busy. I huffed and ruffled her pink-streaked hair even as she swatted at my hands. 

We browsed the comic store until lunch time, Mira squealing over a comic about a samurai platoon that protected the Daimyo. After scanning the content and finding it kid-appropriate, I bought Mira the first five comics in the collection. She preened the whole way to her uncle’s restaurant. We ate lunch together, though most of the time we spent there was because Mira was happily telling her uncle and aunt about her day and the comics she had acquired. We left at the later end of one, heading to the park instead of directly home. Mira spent another hour and a half there, having played with clan kids and civilians alike, before I called her to head back. 

“We can’t stay just a little longer?” She whined, dragging her feet as she came up to me. 

I raised a brow at her, tilting my head. “So you don’t want to see your dad?” 

Mira’s eyes got big and wide before a grin split her face in two. “He’s back?!” 

“Just about,” I huffed. “He said he’d be home by four. I’m not sure what time it is exactly, but it’s definitely after 3:30.” 

“Let’s go then!” Mira shouted, taking off like a rocket. 

I allowed her to this one time, running slowly to keep her short-legged pace. She got tired halfway there, switching to a power walk as she huffed and puffed. She wiped away a sheen of sweat from her forehead and stared at her apartment building with intense focus until she reached it. I’m sure if she could, she would have taken the stairs two at a time to see if her dad was home yet. When we opened the door, we were greeted to a still-empty house. Mira sagged in disappointment. 

“Chin up,” I hummed. “You have time to put away your magazine and comics. And to work on that picture if you want to add anything.” 

Mira perked up a little, going into the kitchen to collect said picture. She brought it to the living room and sat at the low-rise coffee table with a pack of crayons in front of her. She added stars and hearts to the blank parts of the drawing. I shrugged. Good enough. While she did that, I packed away my things and kept my backpack close. With nothing left to do, I leaned on the couch and waited. Twenty minutes later, at 4:12, Mawashi Dokuraku walked in through the door and caught his daughter as she threw herself at him. His eyes inspected the house as he rubbed her back, landing on my relaxed form on the couch. He narrowed his eyes a bit while I yawned. Finding his house as clean as he left it, Mawashi turned his attention to his daughter. The first thing his eyes caught were the pink highlights in Mira’s hair. His glare returned two-fold. 

“You dyed my daughter’s hair?” He demanded, his voice almost at a hiss. 

“It’s hair chalk,” I said. “It washes away with water.” 

He hummed, eyes still narrowed before returning to his daughter. 

“Everything went well?” He asked her instead of me.  I thought it over and nodded to myself. Fair enough, his kid’s the one that matters. 

“Yeah!” Mira burst out, bouncing on her toes. “I was only bored once! Plus Saku-nii didn’t burn any of the food he made!” 

There was a story to that last comment. I gave a once-over to Mawashi’s annoyed face and decided it wasn’t any of my business. 

“Sakura is a girl,” her father corrected absently, eyeing the stack of comics on the coffee table. 

I felt myself stiffen at his comment, arms crossing over my chest defensively. I forced my breath to stay even against the stuttering beats of my heart. 

Mira’s face twisted into a frown. “Nuh-uh! Saku-nii’s a boy. He would have said something if I was wrong. No one wants to be a boy when they could be a girl.” 

My heart swelled in affection and fear in equal measure, even as I felt my body curl into itself as Mawashi’s sharpened gaze ran over my form. I scowled at him from under my lashes, almost daring him to say something. He snorted at my face and turned back to pick up one of Mira’s comics. 

“Of course,” he drawled. “My mistake, Mira. Now, when’d you get these?” 

Mira brightened instantly, grabbing the second edition to the comics and happily explaining the plot to her father. Even though his gaze was no longer on me, I still felt afraid. Of what, I couldn’t say. But I felt like something would happen, and I desperately didn’t want to find out what it could be. After hearing his daughter’s tales for a little longer, Mawashi sent Mira to her room and turned to face me. My heart pounded against my chest as he stared at me in silence. After a minute, he hummed at the back of his throat. 

“Are you a boy?” The question was said without interest, as if it were an observation or a fact. 

“Not by birth,” I allowed. 

He narrowed his eyes, not in suspicion like before, but in consideration. “That’s… huh. Does that mean you are no longer a girl? Physically?” 

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” I snapped defensively. 

“What makes anyone anything if not the physical?” At that, he sounded genuinely curious. 

“I am who I am,” I said, my voice thick. “And whatever qualities I may possess, whatever parts I do or do not have, will not make me think any differently of myself.” 

I could feel a pressure building behind my forehead, something that felt dangerously close to the headache that came from a long session of tears. 

Mawashi hummed again, his eyes calculating. “A topic for further study, I suppose,” he said at last. “One that I will not inquire about to you, I assure.” 

“I would hope,” I said sharply. 

“Well, that’s enough of that. Tell me how much I owe you for whatever you may have spent on Mira.” 

Just like that, Mawashi was the perfect example of professionalism. He asked about Mira’s behavior, if her schedule was met, if she had come across any allergens, and if the terms of her punishment had been fulfilled. When he was satisfied, he signed off on my mission scroll and thanked me for watching his daughter. It was a relief to leave his apartment, to breathe in the village’s woodsy air. I turned the conversation over in my mind as I walked home. He didn’t seem disapproving, strictly speaking, but he clearly had no idea what to do or how to react about… me. Part of me wished I had denied it. Part of me wished I had accepted being Sakura, being a girl. The thought of it made my very bones itch. 

When I got home, it was 4:40. I had an hour to unpack, water my plant, and take something out of the freezer to thaw. I showered and drank water, slowly willing myself to forget the conversation that had so easily ruined my day. I wish I didn’t have to prove that I was a man. I wish people weren’t confused, or surprised, or anything that wasn’t accepting. I wish I had never ended up in this place in the first place. I groaned and dragged a hand down my face, plopping down into my dining table’s wooden chair. I should have gotten a tablecloth for it while I was out. God, I can’t believe I spent more than a month’s rent on furniture. I laid my head against the polished wood, rubbing my temples to soothe the pain. I couldn’t wallow. 

Tomorrow, I would have to start creating a training program for the chunin exams. Kakashi had said we had a week to decide if we wanted to enter or not, and that the exam began the 1st of July. That gave me roughly… twelve days to work with. Ten, not counting tomorrow or the day after so I can get a couple D-ranks done. Nothing overnight again, because as nice as the pay was, I can do a lot more D-ranks a day to equal out the cash. After all the work I did at the academy, I was a pro at maximizing my time. Plus I still wanted to check out a ninja bookstore. I’d probably try out the mystic palm jutsu again. Sasuke had learned it in like two days once we were back home, so it couldn’t possibly be hard. I’d like to work on more jutsu though. Small things that I could adapt to my disappointingly average chakra store. 

I drummed my fingers against my table as I thought. Actually, looking up counter-jutsu would be better. After what happened in Wave, I realized how narrow-sighted I was being to ignore what I couldn’t handle. My eyes narrowed as I thought deeper back into my time at Wave. The drumming stopped abruptly. Naruto. I need to go to his apartment and see what the deal is. I’ll bring him lunch so he doesn’t complain, probably help him clean, get him groceries for the day to teach him how to cook, get some long term snacks so the idiot doesn’t die of over consuming sodium, and make sure he has enough of everything to get by. 

My planning was interrupted by a knock on my door. I startled a bit before pushing myself off the table and out of the chair to answer the door. The face that greeted me was around my age, with brown eyes and a short nose. My eyes flickered up to their headband and noticed the lack of a flak jacket. 

“Oh! You must be delivering the furniture,” I smiled politely, opening the door a little more. “Please come in. Would you like some water?” 

“Hello, yes please,” the boy smiled nervously at me, stepping in and taking a few scrolls off his person. 

He started unsealing everything as I went into the kitchen for a cup of water. I looked around in search of any snacks I might have and found myself tutting in disappointment. I used to live on junk food. When did I become such a health nut? I picked up an orange and hoped it would be acceptable. Stepping back into the living room revealed a bunch of littler things scattered by my door with the genin nervously fiddling with the scroll with the other things. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t ask your name,” I said as I approached. When I got close enough I offered him the cup of water and orange. 

“Daisuke Noya. And your name is?” The genin inclined his head as he accepted what I brought him. 

“Sakura Haruno. Thank you for helping, Noya-san. Sorry I don’t have better snacks, I’ll have to fix that soon,” I sighed. 

“It’s okay! Thank you for offering. Um, do you want me to unseal everything? It’s kind of heavy and it’ll be hard to move around.” 

I bit my lip. “I don’t want to take up your time when you’re probably busy.” 

“It’s no trouble! At least let me help you put the carpet down so you can set the couch down and I can unseal the other furniture in the rooms you want them in.”  

I sighed in relief, a small smile twitching my lips up. “Thank you, I’d really appreciate that.” 

Daisuke helped set up the living room and deposited the balcony furniture there when I asked him to. My face fell when he unsealed the paintings into the hallway. Instead of the three I had ordered, there came four. I forgot to cross out the damn tiger painting. 

“Something wrong?” Daisuke asked upon seeing my expression.

“No, Noya-san,” I cringed. “I just forgot to take that painting off the list. I put it there to appease my charge.” 

Daisuke laughed at my expense, his eyes crinkling at the corners briefly. 

I shook my head, wondering if I should just stuff it into the storage closet and hope no one ever asks about it. 

“Do you need help with anything else?” Daisuke offered as we walked back to the front door. 

“No, thank you,” I answered, unfurling a roll of yen and handing him fifty. 

“Oh, I don’t know if we’re allowed to take tips-” Daisuke fretted, trying to wave off the money. 

I rolled my eyes. “Just don’t tell anyone where you got it if it’s an issue, which I doubt. You helped more than you had to, please accept this as payment for that.” 

Daisuke frowned but accepted the money, tucking the storage scrolls back onto his person. 

“Okay. Have a good evening, Haruno-san.” 

I nodded at him, escorting him to the door and closing it when he began to descend down the stairs. I looked at my apartment, satisfied as it began to fill out. I eyes the pile of furniture still leaning against my walls and sighed. I’d tend to that first before repotting my plant. After that I could start on dinner. I eyed the shark staring at me from the flower pot, it’s toothy grin encouraging me. Mind made up, I cracked my neck and got to work.

Notes:

If there’s any discrepancies, let me know. It’s been a hot minute since I worked on this story and might have jumbled some of the timeline I had set up. Much love to my frequent commenters and even the occasional ones. Plus the ones with funny bookmarks lol. I might not respond very much, but I do read all of and hold a lot of your feedback/comments close to my heart :D As always, thank you for reading!

Chapter 20: Team Bonding is For Everyone

Summary:

Sam wakes up to a heart attack, Sasuke steals another one of Sam’s books, Naruto gets just a touch more scary, and Kakashi shows up after all the work is done.

Notes:

While writing this chapter, the google doc I have it in crossed the 200 page mark! It also crossed 85k words by a good margin. Thanks for sticking around this long, hope to see you for 200 more :D

 

Unless I somehow get the plot into control and wrangle this into a shorter fic (doubtful).

I woke up startled, ears straining as I caught the sound of my front door opening. I rolled out of bed instantly, landing softly on the ground and tugging my kunai pouch off of the nightstand to tie around my thigh. The door clicked shut and with it went my sleep. I crept to my bedroom door and wondered if it was worth confronting whoever was there or if I should just run while I could. Ultimately, it didn’t matter, because soft steps came towards my room. My hand lowered to clench at the handle of a kunai. Instead of the door opening like I expected, a soft knock was tapped against the wood. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“Sakura?” Sasuke’s voice carried through the wood almost gently. Almost, because Sasuke couldn’t be gentle anymore than he could help being a brat. “Are you still asleep?” 

Not anymore, no thanks to him. I stepped back a reasonable distance from the door and cleared my throat. 

“No,” I called out. “I’m just changing. Do we have team training today?” 

I could have sworn Kakashi said he would see us at the exam. 

“No. Kakashi left a note at the bridge that he wanted us to take some D-ranks together while he submitted our paperwork.” 

I made a noise of confusion at the back of my throat. “I never gave Kakashi my paperwork.”

When Sasuke answered, his voice was as dry as the summer sun. “Neither did I.” 

“Do you think Naruto’ll show up?” I called as I tugged on a pair of training shorts. 

“Probably,” Sasuke said indifferently. 

“Well, okay,” I sighed. “Help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen. If you want something specific for breakfast, feel free to make it.” 

Sasuke’s answer came in the form of a grunt and his steps carrying out into the hallway. I placed a hand over my beating heart. Why the hell couldn’t he just knock on the outside door like normal?! Maybe I shouldn’t have given him key privileges. Was this going to become a regular thing? Maybe I should hide that key better… I heard my kitchen sink turn on while I started to change. He’d better be making me tea too. 

I tugged on a navy shirt I didn’t remember owning and went to find the rest of my gear. By the time I went out to find Sasuke, the tea kettle he set on my stove was crying out. He’s lucky I bought mugs and teacups yesterday, or he’d have to drink hot tea out of glass cups. 

“Where do you keep the tea?” He asked, opening cabinets and draws at random. 

Sasuke’s eyebrows crept closer to his hairline as he opened a cabinet to the right of the sink. He turned to look at me judgingly. I raised a brow right back at him, unashamed. The unopened bottles of soju and baijiu gleamed innocently. 

“Not there, clearly. It’s the drawer next to the silverware.” 

“I didn’t take you for a drunkard,” Sasuke said  accusingly. 

“Because I’m not,” I shrugged. “I just like casually drinking, which I obviously haven’t done yet. The bottles are still closed.” 

Sasuke ‘hn’ed at me, closing the drawer haughtily and opening the drawer with packets of instant tea in it. He wrinkled his nose at it and went for the loose-leaf tea that I’d never bothered to try. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics and went to my fridge to find things to make breakfast with. 

“Have you eaten yet?” I asked, eyeing a couple of eggs.

“I don’t eat before training,” Sasuke grunted. 

I stood up straight and looked at him over the fridge door. 

“Have you trained yet?” I asked pointedly. 

Sasuke clicked his tongue and looked away as he put the tea leaves to brew. 

“Okay what do you want for breakfast,” I sighed, resigned. 

Why was he even in my house? Why couldn’t he do this to Naruto? Speaking of which, I still need to figure out where he lives. 

“What do you have?” Sasuke asked, rifling through my cabinets until he found the tea steepers. 

“I don’t know. Typical stuff? Leafy greens, pickled cabbage and carrots, eggs, milk, miso paste, rice in the pantry, fish filets in the freezer, cereal, protein bars, fruit, flour. I can make pancakes or waffles if that’s something you like.” 

“Cake? For breakfast?” Sasuke scrunched his nose. 

“Pancakes. Like… uh… shit what is that called? Those things that are sorta like wafer sheets with vegetables and sauces.” 

“Okonomi-yaki,” Sasuke nodded. “There’s a couple carts in the shopping district.” 

“Yes! It’s a variation of that. A lot less nutritious but you can drown it in jam and still call it breakfast. It’s thicker anyhow, a lot fluffier. Waffles are a variation of that which are even thicker and fluffier. Except you can easily make waffles savory whereas it’s a crime to make pancakes savory. It’s like having frozen yogurt instead of ice cream. It’s a sin.” 

Sasuke looked at me like I was crazy. 

“That sounds disgusting. No thank you. Hand me the miso paste though, I’ll start that up.” 

I rolled my eyes and did as he asked. 

“You want anything else in that? I’ve got kale, green onion, peppers, tomatoes, radish, and I have a block of tofu in the freezer.” 

“I’ll grab what I need. Get a pot from wherever you keep them and fill it with water. There should be enough in the kettle.” 

Man, Sasuke’s bossy. Still, I switched places with him dutifully and opened my oven to reveal all the pots and pans I couldn’t be bothered to put anywhere else. It’s not like I make a habit of baking things anyway. I plopped a decent sized pot onto the gas stove and filled it with the still-hot water, turning on the flame as Sasuke barged back into the kitchen proper. 

I wisely got out of his way, taking the cups of tea over to the breakfast bar behind my counter. I was pretty impressed with the speed and accuracy Sasuke chopped all the vegetables up with. My knife skills left a lot to be desired. I tapped the counter while I thought, eyes narrowed at Sasuke’s back. His main element was lightning, but Uchiha was pretty much synonymous with fire. How could the two interact? Electricity meeting fire… I’d assume it just meant even bigger fire, but is that necessarily true? Lightning causes fire and fire causes lightning if the air is dirty enough. How could the two be married to a point that fire and lightning causes something entirely new? Is it even possible? Maybe Sasuke could manipulate fire enough to give it that taser quality lighting has. 

That taser thing Kakashi did, although brutal, did seem ridiculously useful. Plus Sasuke needs more techniques to keep him entertained… Maybe I should hit the library with Naruto and Sasuke again. We can move up to D-rank elemental jutsu. I could do earth instead of water and if Sasuke wanted to do fire instead of lightning, that’d be cool. Naruto would have to stick to air- unless we could find general jutsu? Things that relied on yang energy, or I guess yin but I think that would largely be genjutsu. 

“What are you plotting?” Sasuke asked from where he was plating some soup and reheating some rice. 

“Finding more jutsu for us to learn,” I answered, still distracted. “I was thinking we could switch up the elements we learned or see if we can find any yang-chakra focused techniques.” 

Sasuke’s responding hum was at least interested. 

“We won’t be able to get our hands on anything crazy, I don’t think we can even get C ranks while we’re genin, but we can find some useful stuff. Like that thing sensei did to Zabuza before he passed out. You could probably do that. Though to be honest, I was wondering if you could somehow combine fire and lightning. Lightning usually just leads to fire and under the right conditions fire can lead to lightning, but that doesn’t really mesh them. Just chains them. Maybe you could do some combo moves? Make lightning strike on a dry enough piece of land will naturally make fire and maybe it’ll cut the chakra cost of whatever fire technique you want to use.” 

“The first thing an Uchiha kid learned was how to use a lighter to kickstart their fireball technique,” Sasuke mused. “Assuming they had less developed chakra networks.” 

A fact in Sakura’s brain needled to the front at the new information. Evidently, the Uchiha were an irreplaceable force on the front lines during the First Great Shinobi War against Kumogakure where the Second Hokage ultimately gave his life in a final encounter and crowned the current Hokage as such. I tilted my head. 

“Is it true that the Uchiha could take over their enemy’s fire jutsu as their own?” 

Sasuke turned to look at me over his shoulder, eyes surprised and a little considering. 

“It is,” he allowed. “My tousan used to steal control of his subordinates' phoenix fire jutsu as an entrance exam.” 

I could almost imagine Sasuke’s emotions buckling down as he averted his gaze and went back to the task at hand. My heart stuttered at the sight. It was easy to forget that despite all of Sasuke’s stoicism and independence, he was just a kid that missed his family. For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. 

“I bet he scared a bunch of kids that way,” I settled for. “Anyone who wasn’t supposed to be practicing yet, or anyone using it in ways he didn’t approve.” 

Sasuke didn’t respond, but I caught sight of a small smile tugging at his lips. I counted it as a win. Having nothing else to do, I took to examining my nails. The forest green polish still looked freshly applied. I couldn’t help but wonder why that was. I resisted the urge to pick at it and instead plucked the tea steepers out of the cups. I waited for the dripping to settle and caught the slow drops in one hand as I took them to my sink. Was I supposed to throw the tea leaves away after one use? I don’t think I’ve actually brewed my own tea in this life. 

“Do you want sugar or honey?” I asked, glancing over at Sasuke. 

Sometime between my brooding, he’d started cooking up some egg omelets to add over the white rice. The miso soup’s steam curled in the air quite vividly. It was probably best to let it cool even more than it already had been. 

“Honey, but don’t pour it for me.” 

I hummed in confirmation, opening the cabinet closest to the breakfast bar. It was used as a pantry for non-perishable things. There was a small stash of instant noodles, a lot of rice, beans, sauces and spices, dried herbs and a lot of other useful kitchen stuff. Sasuke had thankfully found it before he started cooking. I could rest assured knowing the food wouldn’t be terribly bland- hopefully. 

“Dining table or breakfast counter?”

“Table.”

I brought the cups over to the table, vaguely mourning my lack of coasters. I placed a napkin near each cup and went to the kitchen to grab some utensils. Sasuke platted the omelets, his generously buried in diced tomatoes. Well, at least he’s eating his vegetables. I should pack Naruto lunch. Not that ramen was bad, but he definitely didn’t eat enough greens and I haven’t been able to keep on top of that because of the babysitting mission. 

“Hey, Sasuke? Do you know where Naruto lives?” 

Sasuke ‘tsked’ as he walked over with some dishes. 

“No, why would I?” 

I hummed, moving over to bring the soup. 

“Just asking. I wanted to know if he knew how to cook or if he actually lived off of instant ramen.” 

Unfortunately, the way he packed for our C-rank is very indicative of the extent of his skills. 

“I doubt the dobe knows how to do much, he can barely walk in a straight line.”

Considering the amount of times Naruto’s ran head first into a wall or tree, I can’t really argue with Sasuke. 

“Did you want anything else? Before I sit down,” I asked as I placed a bowl in front of Sasuke’s tea and another in front of mine. 

“Soy sauce.” 

“Please favorite teammate of mine, would you do me the great favor of bringing me your bottle of soy sauce which is in your home that I barged into at an ungodly hour to eat your food without so much as a thank you,” I sighed as I crossed the space back into my kitchen for the nth time. 

“You’re welcome, I didn’t mind cooking for you,” Sasuke turned his nose up delicately. “And thank you for bringing me the soy sauce.” 

A sharp laugh bubbled out of my chest. “You got me there,” I conceded. “Thank you for cooking, Sasuke. I appreciate it.”

Sasuke’s resounding ‘hn’ was all the answer he gave. I think in Uchiha it roughly means ‘about time you ingrate’.  I brought Sasuke the bottle of soy sauce and got a store-made package of kimchi out of my fridge. The good thing here is that there’s actual people who make it for their own stores, so it’s got a good homemade quality instead of being insanely sour from long shipping times. I set the soy sauce bottle in front of Sasuke and moved to my chair, one with the back facing the wall while Sasuke sat with his back to the balcony door. I took a spoonful of soup first, gently blowing on it to see if anything needed to be added to adjust it to my taste. 

The broth that hit my tongue was light and surprisingly gently balanced between the taste of seaweed and tomato. The flavors didn’t quite mesh, but they didn’t clash either. The broth was hardly red at all and I could see Sasuke’s bowl having actual chunks of the (fruit?) vegetable in it. Not to mention his omelet’s tomato-y grave. Well, if there was any doubt to his favorite thing, this certainly killed it. I wonder about his opinion on ketchup. Sasuke seems to hate sweet things, but he also loves tomatoes. Is ketchup even a thing here? 

“Stop that. You’re making your plotting face,” Sasuke scolded despite being focused on his rice. 

“Hey, my plotting face has led to decent quality training, I’ll let you know,” I sniffed, fishing up a cube of tofu from my soup. 

“No, that’s a different type of plotting. That’s educational plotting. You look like you’re thinking about something I won’t like,” Sasuke argued. “It’s about two steps down from Naruto’s prank face.” 

“I do not look as shit eating as that, you take it back right now.” 

Sasuke raised a brow at me, unimpressed by my menacingly wielded chopsticks. 

“I said two steps down from that,” he drawled condescendingly. 

“It’s at least four steps down.” 

“Two. Two and a half tops.” 

“Three minimum. More if Naruto’s doing that evil hand rubbing thing.” 

Sasuke took a bite of his omelet as he considered this. He nodded. I counted it as a win, even though it really wasn’t. 

“So,” I started after we had eaten in silence for some time. “How come you came to tell me about the note Kakashi left?” 

“Because you don’t check the training grounds unless Kakashi’s already said to be there.” 

I stared at Sasuke a little dumbfounded. He took a pleasant sip from his tea. 

“You and Naruto go to the training grounds regardless?” 

“It’s a training ground. We train.” 

The ‘duh’ was implied. 

“I was going to check the library, but this was easier.” 

I couldn’t even argue with that. After all, I was planning on going to the library today. 

“I thought you had to reserve a specific training ground to use it?” I asked helplessly. 

“Yes, if you plan on using training grounds 13 or 17 to 30. The others are reserved for current genin teams by number.” 

The ‘duh’ stamped further onto my forehead. I oddly felt the need to sit on a stool facing the wall in a dark and damp corner. 

“Can we still go to the library after we do some D-ranks? Wait, why am I asking you, I’m an adult. After we do D-ranks, I’m going to go to the library to do more research on jutsu we can learn. You’re free to come with, if you want.” 

Sasuke placed his bowl of soup on his empty plate of rice and omelet and took another dainty sip of tea. 

“Yes Sakura, I will do you the favor of going to the library with you to find useful material for our training.” 

“Geeze Sasuke. I never realized you were so generous,” I deadpanned. 

Sasuke ‘hn’ed and slid out of his chair, taking his dishes to the sink. I think that one meant something along the lines of ‘of course, this is simply a fact. Thank you for getting up to speed, idiot.’ I grumbled at my mental Uchiha dictionary and took my plates to the counter while Sasuke washed his. I went back to the fridge to see what I could get Naruto to scarf down. I still had rice because I liked to make a lot of it at a time and fish would take no time at all to defrost. Fuck it, he’s getting rice balls. Maybe over a salad? What’s an appropriate side dish? I could just put in carrots so he actually eats, but then I’d be a hypocrite because I don’t like carrots without ranch and I’m not about to put peanut butter in a lunch bento. 

I could just make the ranch dressing. It’s not hard, it’s just a matter of sourcing all the ingredients of which I think I have most of. I have thyme, I have the spices I need, I have garlic and onion, I have parsley thanks to the wonders of dried herbs, and I have buttermilk in the freezer from my drifting craving for double fried chicken. I’d just need dill. Does dill exist here? According to Sakura’s brain, dill root grew in between Earth and Fire country. In… northern Grass Country? Okay perfect, it should be available in the village then. I opened the freezer to take out the rock-solid bottle of buttermilk. I grabbed a large enough bowl and moved Sasuke away from the drying rack to fill it with warm water and put the buttermilk in it.

“Sasuke I’m going to go to the store real quick, okay? There’s bookshelves in my room if you want to see what I’ve got. Just don’t go poking around anything else in there. Unless you want to check if Naruto’s at the training ground, in which case I’ll go after I make lunch.”

I think Sasuke gaped at me the whole time I sped out of my apartment, taking the stairs two at a time. Usually I’d go to a grocery store further into the heart of Konoha, but right now time was of the essence. I poked my nose around the local stores, looking for anything that might reveal a Grass merchant-owned business. Ten minutes later, I was standing in front of a hybrid store. Half produce, half convenience. There was a hand-drawn poster of a bison taped to the window. I decided to take my chances and made my way in. I looked at the labels hanging above each aisle and went down the path that would lead me to the dry seasonings. 

I scanned the shelves, taking note of the other things offered while looking for my objective. It was on the highest shelf, right next to a container of dried mint leaves. If I stood on my toes, I could just reach it. The cashier could hardly say a word to me before I dashed back out of the store and ran back to my apartment. I was panting by the time I shouldered my way into the apartment, rushing over to the kitchen to deposit my prize and shove some rice into the microwave. Sasuke sat at the breakfast bar with one of Sakura’s intro-to-biology books in his hands. He didn’t acknowledge my mad dash around the kitchen, electing to leisurely turn to the next page. While the rice was in the microwave, I raided my fridge for things I thought Naruto wouldn’t turn his nose up at. 

The next twenty minutes blurred by as I prepared rice ball after rice ball. I wasn’t just making Naruto lunch. I was also making Sasuke and I lunch. It’s the least I could do after he cooked breakfast. Sometime between me packing the rice balls into bentos of varying quality, I finally got to prepare the ranch dressing to the best of my memories. I whisked everything together with a fork, sloshing it onto my counters in my nearly manic cooking spree. At some point Sasuke had wisely vacated the bar in favor of the couch. Especially wise when I was armed with a knife and ruthlessly chopping carrots into thin sticks. They were at least 70% matching thickness. I need to get more things to dip into ranch. Maybe I can make garlic bread this weekend. 

The bento boxes ended up fairly crooked on the inside and I ended up dumping take out sauce cups into the sink and washing them to store the ranch dressing, but all in all, it didn’t go as bad as it could have. Sure, my kitchen was a mess of spills and dirty dishes, but hey. Mission accomplished. I stacked the three bento boxes on top of each other and washed my hands, making sure I didn’t dirty my shirt before the work day began. Sasuke looked up from the couch when I walked out of the kitchen with the boxes in hand. 

“Why’d you make so much?” He scrunched his nose. 

My lips flattened into a line as I deliberately looked from him to my hands. 

“One of them’s for you, genius,” I rolled my eyes. “The other’s for Naruto and obviously I’m going to feed myself.” 

“I can make my own food,” Sasuke reminded, snapping shut my book like he owned it. 

“Yep.” I popped the ‘p’ to be extra obnoxious. “Now come on. I don’t know how long Naruto sticks to the training grounds.” 

“Can I take this book with me?” 

My eyes searched the cover, willing Sakura’s brain to remember what was in it specifically. 

“Ah, the one with the starting theory to the defibrillation jutsu. The actual technique is in a genin and up textbook, but sure. Now hurry up, we can get that later.” 

I made Sasuke carry his and Naruto’s bento boxes. When I locked the door, I decided to take my key with me. Maybe Sasuke was right about it being dumb to leave it out. I feel kind of bad if it’s not immediately accessible to him though. Should I get him a copy? That’s kind of weird, isn’t it? I kind of already promised unlimited access to my place though. Why didn’t I just suggest matching tattoos? Way cooler. Imagine us, matching tigers in full color on the entire expanse of our backs. Totally scary. Thugs. Hoodlums. Brothers in crime. Sworn by blood and the sword.

I blinked, shoving the thoughts away. I’m pretty sure that’s the plot of a really bad samurai film from the late 80s. Damn it, I just made myself miss action movies. Bad Boys would be so funny to watch again. I’d even take a sequel to the classics at this point. I still wouldn’t want to watch Men In Black III though. Once was more than enough. I greeted everyone who called out to me absentmindedly, reciting well-wishes automatically. There weren’t many who did, not this deep into shinobi-dominate territory. As it was, only vendors came this deep into the village’s heart. They must be preparing for the chunin exams, too. It’s a good time for tourist sales and it’s better to bring the wares to the foreign shinobi instead of allowing said tourists into our civilian-heavy sectors. 

Naruto was at the training grounds before we got there. He couldn’t have gotten there too much earlier though, given that he had Kakashi’s note in his hands and hadn’t looked up at us yet. I looked at Sasuke up and down, silently judging him for shoving Naruto’s bento into my arms while our teammate was distracted. Coward. 

“Hey Naruto, I made you more lunch.” 

Naruto screeched, the hand holding the note flying to his chest dramatically. 

“Sakura!” He scolded. “You scared the crap out of me.” 

“It’s your fault for having no situational awareness,” Sasuke scoffed. 

“So you don’t want lunch?” I shook the bento in front of him for good measure. 

“I didn’t say that!” Naruto argued while he snatched the box. “Thanks, you’re the best!” 

I sniffed delicately. “Obviously.” 

I think Sasuke’s dramatics are rubbing off on me. 

“Anyway, Kaka-sensei said we should do d-ranks together today.” 

“Did he say why?” 

“Nuh-uh.” 

I rolled my eyes. Sounds like Kakashi. 

“But he said he’d meet us for team dinner.” 

I raised a brow, turning to look at Sasuke. Why hadn’t he mentioned that? 

“That’s a first. Think he’ll stick around for the bill this time?” 

Naruto turned sky-wards and sighed. “It’s Kaka-sensei, Sakura-chan.” 

Too true. 

“Unfortunately,” I sighed. “So what’s the game-plan for the mission? I’m thinking manual labor speed runs.” 

“Agreed,” Sasuke was quick to back me up. “The sooner we do this, the sooner we can get the book I need.”

Self-serving ass. 

“Reading?” Naruto scrunched his nose. 

“The book has instructions for a jutsu he wants to learn,” I explained. “We’re going to pick it up from the Genin Corps’ library.” 

“What’s the Genin Corps?” 

Oh God. This is ‘what’s katra’ all over again. 

“Genins who didn’t pass their sensei’s test, idiot.”

“There’s a place for that?!” Naruto looked aghast. “That’s awful!” 

“Genin who don’t get sensei’s also go there. They work under the Genin Commander, which I think is currently a tokubetsu jounin. Anyway don’t let any of them hear you say that, they’ll shadow-ban you from their services and resources.” 

Naruto crossed his arms. “I don’t need their services anyway! I can do everything they can way better.” 

“I doubt any of us can do an experienced genin corp’s job any better than they can. They’re scary efficient. Most of the people in there could probably make chunin on the academy three alone, but resources are limited and not having inter-village connections can kill a career quicker than an enemy kunai. Piss off the wrong person and you’ll have all sorts of doors you can’t open anymore.” 

It was that way in my old world, too. Just less fatal. It’s why I feel so uneasy around Ino Yamanaka. I made her tense relationship with Sakura outright negative. 

“Well that’s stupid,” Naruto scowled. “If you’re a good ninja, you should be able to show it off! When I’m Hokage, I’ll make sure everyone who deserves a promotion gets it, no matter who they pissed off.”

I felt my eyes crinkle at him. “That’s a good goal.” 

I shoved an elbow at Sasuke when it looked like he was going to open his mouth. Wisely, he grit his teeth and turned away.

“Do you want to come with us to the library? I was thinking we could look for some more jutsu to work on, or see if there’s any taijutsu scrolls.” 

Naruto wrinkled his nose, then sighed. “Yeah. Jutsu are cool.” 

What a sad tone. Naruto was pouting at the ground. It’s like taking a toddler to the dentist. 

“Perfect. So, speed running gardening and garbage pick up?”

Naruto whined some more, but Sasuke’s glare shut him up nicely. Agreeing to a game plan, the three of us headed to the missions desk. We started off with river cleaning and went to weed out some gardens in the civilian sector afterwards. I was elbow deep in dirt when one of my parent’s neighbors spotted me over the white picket fence. 

“Sakura-chan!” The older woman crowed, delight in her eyes. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you! My, look at what ninja work has done to you. You used to be so cute and pretty. Not that you’re not pretty, but you could do with less sun and- oh you used to be so thin. Your hair was so lovely back then; so long.” 

She took a break from her ranting to click her tongue and shake her head at me. 

“Oh your arms, you poor girl, they've got you doing a man’s job don’t they. It’s a shame you didn’t become a seamstress like your mother; you always had such a good eye for embroidery work. Maybe your little sister will end up taking it up, huh?” 

I stopped trying to drown out her words. 

“My little sister, obaasan?” I called out casually, picking dirt out from under my nails. 

Sasuke was pretending not to eavesdrop while Naruto blatantly stared with his jaw hanging open. The woman who had babysat me a handful of times as a toddler laughed, waving her hand in front of her casually. 

“Well, I know it’s too early to speculate genders, but a mother always knows you know. I knew you were a girl the second little Mebuki told me she was expecting! You must be so excited, you used to beg for a little sister when you were small.” 

I forced a polite smile on my face. “Well, she’s only three months along, isn’t she? Like you said, it’s too soon to tell.” 

“19 weeks,” my mother’s neighbor grinned. “Oh your mother is over the moon. Her excitement is so endearing, it reminds me of when I had my son, though of course he’s fully grown and doesn’t need me anymore.” 

I interjected myself into her long tangent before she could keep spouting out facts about her life I had no interest in. 

“A child will always need their parent,” I soothed her rising gripe. “They just like to figure things out themselves first before asking for advice. It was wonderful seeing you again, obaasan. Please give your family my regards.” 

“Oh, of course Sakura-chan. You always have been such a wise soul. I’ll let you get on with your work.” 

I waved goodbye, clumps of damp earth falling to the ground. I felt my heartbeat thunder in my ears as she walked away. 

“Are you okay, Sakura-chan? You look a little pale,” Naruto asked from behind me. 

I took in a shaky breath, trying to calm my rising hurt. I left them, I reminded myself. It was me who burned that bridge. Naruto put his hand on my shoulder to give me comfort. I shivered under his touch. I bent over, unable to contain the bile surging up my throat, and threw up where I had just pulled out a weed. I coughed and spat everything in my mouth until the only thing left was the acidic burn of what had just come out. My shoulders heaved with my breathing. I grabbed the hem of my shirt, dirt-caked fingers leaving immediate stains, and brought the inside of the bottom to my mouth to wipe away whatever was left. 

“What was that about?” Sasuke asked tensely, hands still working to complete the mission.

“She doesn’t like kids,” I croaked out. “My dad does. He wanted a huge family, and so did I, when I was little. My mom only had me out of duty. She never wanted more. If she’s having another, it’s for a reason.” 

My hands shook as I covered my throw up with dirt. 

“For a reason?” Naruto echoed. 

“All she ever wanted was a mini-me,” I sighed. “It’s why I was so… girly. In the academy. Why I never tried. She didn’t want me to be a ninja. She thought I would drop out. Thought I would quit when it got too hard and agree to be her little doll to marry out. I never wanted to be her, and she… hates me for it. She’s hated me from the moment she realized she couldn’t change my mind.”  

Her being pregnant meant she was replacing me. Replacing Sakura. I wondered distantly if it meant she would legally disown me. No need to indoctrinate her new spawn with the ideas of being a shinobi like her first failure. If she did have a girl, she would be 10 times harder on her than she ever was on Sakura. Considering her controlling nature, that didn’t bode well for her unborn child. 

“Fuck her,” Sasuke said calmly, certain in his tone and posture. “She doesn’t deserve you.” 

My arms dropped to their side like dead weight, eyes wide. He didn’t say another word, but even Naruto was looking at him in awe. I cleared my throat and blinked back the tears, finally calm after that news bomb and Sasuke’s first verbal curse. 

“Thanks,” I said when I was sure my voice wouldn’t falter. “Both of you.” 

We finished the mission shortly after. It was only our third of the day, so we agreed to do two more before eating lunch. The last mission we took on was de-weeding a forest plot of land for a civilian who grew seasonal vegetables on it. Thankfully we were near a river so I could wash off all the dirt before we ate. I walked over to it in relief, crouching down and tugging my shirt off. 

“Sakura!” Naruto screeched, slapping his hands over his eyes. I rolled my eyes and heaved a great sigh. 

“Number one: there’s nothing to see other than a sports bra. Number two: you’re weird if you’re looking anyway. Number three: I have dirt almost up to my shoulders. I’m not going to get my shirt more muddy than it already is. Stop being a baby. I’ve seen what you’re teaching your so-called apprentice.” 

Sasuke was minding his own business, cleaning himself off a respectable distance away. Good. It’d be weird if he was the type of guy to stand next to another at a urinal. This is basically that. Naruto very pointedly did not look anywhere but his arms as he washed off today’s dirt. Well, at least he stopped complaining. When I was dirt-free, I shook off my hands and pulled my shirt back on and sat back on my heels with a satisfied sigh. I did my best to get the dirt out from under my nails, and I have to say, Mira’s work is looking significantly better than it did five minutes ago. 

“Lunch here or at a park on the way to the Genin Corps headquarters?” I asked as I stood to stretch. 

My back popped pleasantly. Ah, the best part of enduring labor. The stretching that comes after. 

“Park,” Naruto chirped. 

Sasuke shrugged. I shrugged too. Park it was. 

Naruto chattered the whole time about this and that. I think he said something about the ramen guy (Teuchi?) and his daughter. Whatever it was, it was interrupted by Naruto sharply gasping. My head snapped forward to follow his gaze, landing on his little apprentice in the hands of a much older guy. 

“Hey!” He barked, breaking off in a sprint. I rushed to follow. “Let go of Konohamaru right now!” 

I slid to a stop when Naruto did, eyes scanning the people in front of me. Older, though not by too much. The headband around the girl’s neck sported an hourglass. Sand. Naruto’s kid, Konohamaru, looked like he was about to piss his pants as the Suna boy held him by his scarf. 

“Why should I?” the boy scoffed. “This little punk ran straight into me without so much as an apology. Someone’s got to teach him some manners.” 

“Didn’t your sensei tell you not to cause political disasters in a foreign nin’s village?” I spat. “Drop the kid before we recommend immediate disqualification from the chunin exams.” 

Sand boy rolled his eyes. “Oh please, what can a bunch of little kids do against us?” 

My scowl pulled deeper. He was a year older than us at most, that pompous little shit. Sand boy dropped Konohamaru like he was deadly when a rock hit his gloved hand. My eyes slid up to the direction it was thrown from. Sasuke, of course. Dramatic idiot. At least Naruto’s apprentice wasn’t a total moron. He ran and hid behind Naruto’s legs as soon as he was free. 

“Leave,” was Sasuke’s genius input. 

Of course it only pissed the Suna genin off more. 

“Arrogant punks like you,” he growled. “Are the type of brats I hate the most!” 

His hand flew back to the package wrapped in cloth on his back. The blond girl snapped out of her star-struck look and turned to her partner sharply. 

“Kankuro!” She hissed. “You’re not seriously thinking about using Crow?!” 

Kankuro’s glare only intensified. My fingers snaked into my weapon's pouch and looped through the ring of a kunai’s handle. 

“Kankuro,” a gravelly voice said disparagingly. “Stop that. You’re an embarrassment to the village.”

On the branch opposite of Sasuke’s, a red-headed kid hung upside down. Like a vampire. His eyes are fully encased in black… Do goth people exist here? I mean if they do, he must be one of them right? Okay, not the time. Let’s focus on the important things. LIke why this kid’s teammates look scared shitless. Sasuke jumped down the tree, moving towards us and stepping between Naruto and the sand genin.

“Sorry, Gaara,” Kankuro was quick to apologize. 

“Shut up.” 

And like magic, Kankuro did.

“He wasn’t serious,” the blond girl came to her teammate’s defense. “You know how he is.” 

I could physically see the sweat form on her brow as she stared ‘Gaara’ down. Whoever her youngest teammate was, both she and Kankuro genuinely feared him. 

“Temari.” There was warning in his voice. 

Quietly, Temari took a step back. 

“I apologize for my siblings’ behavior,” Gaara said serenely. “It won’t happen again. Temari, Kankuro. Let’s go.” 

“Wait.” Sasuke took a step forward. “Who are you?” 

Gaara looked at him appraisingly. 

“Sabaku no Gaara. Who are you?” 

I inhaled sharply. That’s the Kazekage’s moniker. These are his children?

“Uchiha Sasuke.” 

Without another word, Gaara led his siblings away. Not one of them looked back. When they were a good distance away, Naruto turned to face me. His face was pensive. 

“What made you react like that?” He asked. “When Gaara said his name.” 

“In Suna, to become Kazekage you must give up your family name and take up the mantle ‘Sabaku no’. It means ‘of the sand’ and it’s the only name the Kazekage line has ever taken since the village’s inception. Those three are the current Kazekage’s children.” 

If I had to guess, I’d say the youngest is being groomed for the seat. It’s the only reason to explain why his siblings are still genin. They’re clearly older, so they must have more experience. It’d explain Kankuro’s attitude and Temari’s role as the voice of reason. 

“Boss, is this your team?” Konohamaru warbled, half in awe and half emotional from being held hostage. 

“You betcha! This is Sakura-chan and Sasuke-teme,” Naruto introduced. 

I nodded at him, crossing my arms and looking off towards the direction where the siblings left. Their relationship left a bad taste in my mouth. 

“Come on Naruto, we have things to do,” Sasuke urged. 

Naruto said goodbye to Konohamaru and advised him to make sure he didn’t run off alone. Good advice. 

“Should we just go to the library and eat lunch after?” I asked. 

“Yeah,” the boys chorused. 

At least I wasn’t the only one freaked out by whatever the hell the sand siblings were. The journey to the library was blissfully uneventful. I don’t think my heart can handle more revelations today. Even Naruto seemed unnerved by them. That, to me, said a lot. I ran a hand down my face and guided Sasuke and Naruto through the barracks. I hadn’t exactly come here either, but the library was one of the three major buildings here so it was easy enough to do. The receptionist glanced at our headbands from where he was at the front of the building and silently went back to reading at his desk. He’d only ask for our registration numbers if we were to check something out. 

“Medical section’s near the back,” I whispered to Sasuke. “It’s the same title as the one you have, it just says ‘Volume Two’ on it. I’m going to keep an eye on Naruto.” 

Sasuke nodded, beelining to his destination. I turned to Naruto.

“Wind jutsu?” I asked. 

He nodded eagerly. I escorted him to the section of scrolls. E-ranks were widely available, but the D-ranks were behind locked cases. 

“How are you doing with the wind jutsu we found for you the first time?” I asked, carefully scanning the titles in front of me. 

“Eh,” Naruto shrugged. “I can lift a kunai with it, but it’s kind of boring.” 

I raised a brow at him. “You do know that the next step to that jutsu is to use it to walk on air right? If you can carry things that are your own body weight, you can use it to boost you during a fight.” 

“What?! That’s awesome! How do I do that?” 

“By practicing on heavier and heavier items,” I rolled my eyes. Really, what did he think? “It’ll take more chakra the heavier the item if you can’t handle the weight, but luckily you’re basically made of chakra.” 

“Awesome!” Naruto crowed. “I’m totally going to try that later today.” 

I hummed. “Do you want to learn another jutsu before you master that one? The levitation technique is only an E-rank, but if you master it you can use it as a great support jutsu in your arsenal.” 

“The Great Naruto Uzumaki can master a hundred jutsu at once! Uh, but, let’s maybe stick to two for now.” 

I rolled my eyes. 

“All right. This jutsu right here is a D-rank,” I said as I pointed to the box with a label over it. “Wind Repellent jutsu. It lets you knock kunai and other projectiles away from you with a jet of air.”

“Not bad,” Naruto nodded sagely. “But what else?” 

“Gale Surge?” I offered. “It’s a burst of dull air that’s strong enough to knock an opponent away from you. The specifics will be inside the scroll, but considering it’s a D-rank, I can’t assume it’ll knock them very far.” 

“What’s this one?” Naruto asked, pointing at a box above my head. 

I looked up and squinted at the description card. 

“Wind Vacuum Jutsu. It lets you suck the air out of a specific spot for a short amount of time. Huh, that’s interesting. I imagine if you suck the air out of where your opponent's head is, you can make their eardrum burst.”

“Woah,” Naruto gaped. “That’s awesome. I want that one.” 

I smirked at him. Good, he should learn to be terrifying. 

“Alright, I’ll ask the receptionist to grab it for us in a bit. Go find Sasuke and see if he’s done looking around, alright? I’ll be in the earth jutsu section.” 

The first jutsu I spotted in this section was an E-rank. A step down from an earth-clone lies the dust clone. It’s made of the finer dirt and dust in a natural environment and can’t attack. I plucked the scroll out of its holder and unfurled it. According to the scroll, the jutsu had very limited movement and was only slightly better than a regular bushin. The only overwhelming up side was what happened when hit. If your enemy decided to punch your dust clone, it would explode in their face and throw all the dirt it was made of into their eyes, nose, and mouth. Very useful. I wonder if anyone had decided to throw some poisonous powder on the ground and make a dust clone out of it. It sounds effective. 

After that I found a d-rank trapping jutsu. The False Trench jutsu was, in essence, a looney toons scenario come to life. Using the jutsu, the user could create a deep hole (depending on chakra usage and control, of course) that would be covered by a thin layer of dirt. Whoever was unfortunate enough to step upon it would find themselves crashing down into nothingness. I imagine it’d be easy to escape for anyone with chakra, but I suppose if you theoretically made it deep enough you could insta-kill someone. Unfortunately I’d never have the chakra stores to make it deep enough. A great jutsu for a prankster, but not very useful to me. 

The idea of poisoning someone with a dust clone stuck in my mind. I don't know much about poisons. I know about plants that are used to make them, I know the general process, I know that poison masters and mistresses have a signature cocktail they’re immune to. I don’t know where I’d start. Who would I even talk to about that? I kind of doubt Kakashi has a foot in the door with the poisons division. I’d have to wait until I’m chunin to apply to it and see if they have someone on deck for hands-on training. There’s every possibility they don’t find me a worthy investment. All reasons to skip this and go to something else… But I don’t want to give it up. I won’t be able to experiment with poisons for a while yet, (I’d probably inhale whatever I used in practicing and wind up killing myself) but the idea proved too tempting. 

I snatched the scroll and went to find Naruto and Sasuke. They weren’t in the medical section so I wandered over to the fire scrolls. It was by far the best stocked place in the library. It’s here I find them. Naruto’s arguing with Sasuke over a scroll.

“But that’s so lame!” Naruto whined, waving his hand at the scroll in Sasuke’s hand. “Why wouldn’t you want sword fire?!” 

“Because I don’t know how to use a sword, idiot. This is more useful.” 

Naruto crossed his arms over his chest. “You could learn.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because I know a sword master willing to teach me a week before the exams. Use your head Naruto. This is useful and easy to master. I’ll have it down in a day and I can focus on the raiton jutsu the rest of the week.” 

Seems that Sasuke decided two jutsu at once was a good idea. Honestly, I believe in him. Uchiha are synonymous with fire for a reason, and it looks like he chose something foundational. 

“I think you’re just making excuses,” Naruto huffed. 

“Naruto,” I warned in a clipped tone. “This is Sasuke’s choice to make. Cut it out. Now come on, I’m hungry. Let’s go check these books out.” 

Sasuke and Naruto followed me silently, both a step behind me. Huh. Did I become pack leader or something? Heh. That’s funny. When Kakashi’s gone, I’m top dog. I have pink hair. Hilarious. When we got to the front desk, I leaned on the polished wooden counter and assumed Naruto and Sasuke wouldn’t be sociable enough to speak.

“Hey, would it be possible for you to help us get a D-rank from the wind section?” I asked the receptionist. 

He sighed and uncrossed his legs. The young adult (I think he’s at least 17) stood up, easily towering over all three of us, and beckoned us to follow with a jerk of his head. He was silent until we reached the right aisle. 

“Which one do you want?” He yawned. 

I turned to stare at Naruto with intent. 

“O-oh! Um, the vacuum one… Please!” 

Well. Good enough, I guess. He even asked politely. That’s a step up from Sasuke. The teenager grunted and pressed his index finger into a small indent in the metal. His chakra pulsed lightly and a slight noise informed us that the cabinet had been unlocked. I tilted my head. How does that work? It must be seal work, but what kind? Sakura’s mind wasn’t overly informed on the topic, but I knew enough to feel the faint sparks of interest. Sakura’s brain informed me about the ridiculous amount of math involved in traditional Konohan sealing. I lost interest pretty quickly. 

The teenager led us back to the desk and wrote down the scroll’s information on a log he had on his desk. He retrieved a paper seal from his desk and wrote down ‘336’ on it. The seal took on the number. I tilted my head again. 

“Woah cool,” Naruto breathed. “What is that?” 

“A timer seal,” the receptionist said, delicately sticking it onto the scroll. “It’ll remind you when you need to bring this back. And if you don’t bring it back, I’ll know exactly where to find you.” 

That last comment felt vaguely threatening. I shivered, suddenly remembering a valuable lesson from my last life. Never fuck with a librarian. 

“So,” he said lightly. “Who’s checking this out?” 

I elbowed Naruto when he took too long to respond. 

“Oh! Me.” 

The receptionist looked at him expectantly. 

“Um…” 

“Your registration number, dobe,” Sasuke scoffed. 

Naruto’s expression brightened. 

“Oh! One second, I have my ID on me.” 

Who carries their shinobi ID on them? Most people just memorize their number and shove the actual card with their birth certificate. Naruto slid the card over. I caught sight of his photo and blinked. Is he wearing clown makeup? Why was that even allowed? The receptionist didn’t even blink, simply wrote down Naruto’s number on another seal and on the record log he kept. He stuck the seal under the first and slid the scroll over to Naruto.

“Congratulations,” he said dryly. “Next.”

I nudged Sasuke forward. He glared at me but obediently put his chosen book and scroll onto the counter in front of the librarian’s desk. The librarian repeated the process he went through with Naruto’s scroll swiftly and asked for Sasuke’s registration number. 

“012606,” Sasuke recited from memory. 

I knew he was my most sensible teammate. Carrying your card around is just asking to get impersonated. 

“Great. Here.” 

Sasuke collected his things and stepped aside. I handed the scroll to the librarian and waited until he asked me for my identification number. 

“012601.” I’m just glad my number’s easy to remember. 

He finished processing my scroll silently and handed it over with a stern reminder to bring everything back on time. Spoils in hand, we eagerly left the genin barracks and finally made our way to one of the closer shinobi-dominate parks. I ran over to a bench and plopped down on the grass in front of it, leaning back on the seat.

“Finally!” I cheered, holding up my bento like a prize. “Don’t tell me if you guys don’t like it, I’ll get really upset.” 

Naruto and Sasuke glanced over at each other in concern. I kept smiling as I unpacked my food. Sasuke and Naruto sat on either side of me on the actual bench. Well, it’s their loss. The grass feels great. Everything around me faded into background noise as I ate the rice balls I made. It might just be because I was so hungry, but they were truly the most delicious thing I’d ever made. I sighed blissfully as I ate, entirely lost in flavor town. I would win master chef with this food, and since no one is around to say otherwise, I must be right. I don’t know how much time passed while I ate, but when I came to, Naruto and Sasuke were whispering at each other and glancing at me in worry. My container was empty. I blinked. Wow, I didn’t even process eating the ranch I made outside of ‘this is heaven’. 

“Sakura?” Naruto asked wryly.  “Yes?” I sighed wistfully, closing my empty bento and shoving it back into my pack. 

“She’s back,” Sasuke nodded. 

I leaned back until my back cracked against the wooden bench and sat forward to stretch. 

“Want to walk around the park before we start training?” I asked, tilting my head back to see my teammates. 

“No,” Sasuke said as he pulled out the second volume of the book I’d let him borrow. 

“I do!” 

I nodded. You can always count on Naruto to skip out on any type of reading. Truly old reliable. Naruto and I walked around the park, pointing out new things we hadn’t seen before or odd shapes in the clouds. We lapped Sasuke a couple of times before Naruto got bored. Finally giving in, I returned to the bench Sasuke sat on and splayed out on the grass. Naruto plopped down next to me in a criss-cross and took out his scroll. I did the same and rolled onto my stomach. From the bench, Sasuke gingerly closed his book and replaced it with the fire jutsu scroll.  We spent the better part of an hour reading. Naruto and I practiced our respective jutsu’s hand signs until Sasuke said he was ready to physically practice his. We relocated to Team Seven’s assigned training ground and each chose an empty spot in the circular clearing. 

We all worked independently unless someone (usually Naruto) asked for help on something. True to his words, Sasuke got his chosen fire jutsu down in just a few hours. He had chosen a flare technique, something similar but a lot weaker and shorter lived than the great fireball jutsu. Naruto had taken to trying to carry his shoes and headband with the levitation jutsu and I made sure to sharpen my skills with the water mirror jutsu before moving on to my new target. Earth, I discovered, was a lot more chakra-draining to me than water was. My chakra stuck to the ground like static, but it was hard to actually shape it to my specifications. Four hours later had shown me a disturbing lack of progress made. I could feel my chakra collecting the dirt particles the way it was supposed to, but it simply didn’t want to be molded. I had stopped practicing, my chakra levels low enough to affect my mood, and sat down on the ground to keep reading the stupid scroll. 

It’s an E-rank for god’s sake! Another hour passed before Sasuke rounded Naruto and I up, reminding us that Kakashi wanted to meet for dinner. It was a relief to stop practicing. 

“Where’d Kakashi want to meet?” I yawned, fatigued but not sleepy. 

“He didn’t say.” 

“Ramen!” 

“No,” Sasuke and I vetoed. 

“Naruto, you always want ramen. I chose dumplings last time. It’s Sasuke’s turn,” I said. 

Naruto pouted, but didn’t argue. Small victories. 

“Let’s go to the tea house in the Akimichi restaurant district.” 

I whistled. That’s a good call. Naruto and I talked about our progress as we walked to the other side of town, lightly complaining about roadblocks we hit. Sasuke had hummed and reminded us he couldn't relate. I didn’t even try to stop Naruto from socking Sasuke’s shoulder. As a wise man once said: talk shit, get hit. The tea house Sasuke chose was a quaint little spot with booths near the back and tables closer to the front of the building. It was a warm brown color with cute string lights hanging on the outside and dangling lights in the inside. 

“Welcome!” The Akimichi hostess chirped. “Table for three?” 

“Four,” Sasuke said. “He’ll be here later.” 

“Not a problem. Follow me please.” 

The bubbly hostess led us to a booth tucked in the corner of the restaurant and left menus in front of us, letting us know that a waiter would be there soon. Naruto complained that the restaurant didn’t serve ramen but settled for sliced noodles. Sasuke decided on noodles with tomato egg sauce and a pot of jasmine infused oolong tea for the table while I chose pork fried rice with a soy egg on the side. The waiter had just come over to take our orders when Kakashi walked into the restaurant. How he found us, I have no clue. 

“Scoot to the edge, Naruto. Kakashi’s here.” 

Naruto twisted in his seat at this news, quickly spotting our sensei. His face was torn between delight and confusion. 

“How’d he know we’d be here?” He wondered as he scooted to the inside of the seat. 

“Ninja magic?” I offered. 

Naruto’s face twisted in disagreement, but ultimately stayed silent. Kakashi meandered over, hunched over with his face shoved in one of his porn books. When he got close enough, he tucked it into his front pocket and slid gracefully into the open seat. 

“Hey team,” he cheerfully greeted. “How’s your day been?”

 

Notes:

Here’s what I think Sam looks like currently (just with his hair being a little bit longer, but let’s just say this is his post-haircut photo lol). In case you can’t see the picrew’s water mark, the maker’s username is “@/Maetheellen” which I believe corresponds to their twitter and tumblr pages.

I might write out Sasuke’s POV for a chapter of the onlookers, but no promises.

Speaking of Sasuke, do you as readers feel that he’s unjustly OOC? He’s still emo and edgy but Sam’s softening up his barbed wire heart. I don’t want to make him one dimensional but I also don’t want to make him touchy feely when he’s really not.

Nothing’s set in stone yet, but updates might come out on a bi-monthly basis from now on. It depends on what way my upcoming job interviews go :D Wish me luck!

FINAL NOTE: Would you like to see team seven’s lunch date? I can make an omake out of it and have it be a shorter chapter. I didn’t include it in this because it was getting close to 10k words lmao (Literally 500 words away from 10k)

Chapter 21: Protocols Exist for a Reason

Summary:

Sam forgot what it feels like to be scolded by authority figures.

Notes:

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE
HAPPY KWANZA
HAPPY EVERYTHING AS LONG AS IT INVOLVED GOOD FOOD YAY

This chapter picks up right at the end of the last one :D

“Kaka-sensei!” Naruto cheered, barely restraining himself from throwing his arms around Kakashi’s waist. To his credit, Kakashi waited a few seconds before forcefully removing him. 

“Busy.” 

Ah, Sasuke and his famous one-word replies. Never change. Kakashi turned to me expectantly. I heaved a sigh and propped my elbows onto the table. 

“We did five D-ranks before running into a genin team from Sunagakure. After an unpleasant conversation, I realized the three are the current Kazekage’s children. The eldest, Temari, was the mediator of the three but seemed unwilling to convince her younger brother, Kankuro to de-escalate. It wasn’t until the appearance of who I assume to be the youngest, Gaara, that they backed off. Kankuro had been taunting a Konohan child for running into him and trying to leave without an apology. When Gaara arrived, both the oldest and the middle child grew subdued and fearful. I assume the youngest is being groomed as the successor to his father’s title and has significant control over his siblings’ lives.” 

“They were picking on a kid?” Kakashi asked in shock. 

“Yeah!” Naruto piggy-backed. “That Kankuro guy was messing with Konohamaru!” 

Kakashi’s concerned face turned pale instantly.

“They were messing with the Hokage’s grandson?” He hissed.

My jaw dropped. Naruto’s teaching that perverted shit to the Hokage’s grandson?! Oh my God. Wait, no. The Kazekage’s children terrorized the Hokage’s grandson in our own village. Holy shit, we’re so dead for not reporting this. 

“What didn’t you three report that to someone?” Kakashi gaped. “There’s protocols for this!” 

I shrank back. Ninja guidebook, ‘foreign nin behavioral guidelines’ section J passage 28 A. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to leave. Shit, I should have followed the rules. I didn’t even stop to consider what this would mean. 

“I forgot that rules existed for this,” I grimaced, looking away uncomfortably. “I apologize. I’ll report it to the corresponding offices after dinner.” 

It was still early enough for people to be in the office. Kakashi’s stiff posture melts away as he hunches over and rubs his temples. 

“Look,” he says, voice tense and almost strained. “I didn’t mean to… snap. Just make sure you handle this.” 

I’m a little surprised he bothered apologizing for being right. Or as close to apologizing as Kakashi was likely to get. Either way, I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

“I will,” I assured with a nod. “Does this mean the Kazekage’s in the village already? Or are the three with their jounin sensei?” 

“Jounin, thankfully. Foreign Kage are set to arrive the day before the last task.” Kakashi paused drumming his fingers against the table. “Just don’t go spreading that around. Or if you do, tell no one you heard it from me.” 

We nodded and fell silent as the waiter returned with a ceramic tea kettle and four teacups, quietly asking Kakashi if he’d like to order an entree. Sasuke poured himself a cup first before passing the kettle to me. I don’t really like tea, but I can be polite and at least pretend. I passed the tea kettle to Kakashi, who poured and passed to Naruto, and watched as Naruto sniffed the small amount of tea he poured with skepticism. He sipped it like a wine connoisseur and scrunched his nose at the floral taste. Felt. Unexpectedly, he poured more tea and did it again, this time tilting his head. I glanced at Sasuke. He was quietly enjoying his own cup, eyes slid shut.

I glanced at Kakashi. He glanced at Naruto who scrunched his nose again but almost imperceptibly smacked his lips together and poured more tea he clearly wasn’t really into. Kakashi caught my eye again, a silent question in his eye. How am I supposed to know? I narrowed my eyes. Kakashi shrugged, looked at Sasuke, then back at me. That’s just normal Sasuke behavior. I waved him off. He looked at me and down to the cup of tea in front of me. Not a chance. I frowned. Kakashi glanced down to his own cup. Same, I understood. 

We nodded at each other and that was that. 

“So,” I sighed. “What’ve you been up to today?” 

It was only fair I asked. 

“Hmm, oh a little this, a little that. Turned in your slips, helped a few grandmas, walked under a ladder and went to get blessed by a shaman to shake the bad luck. Took most of the day,” Kakashi tuttered sadly. 

Naruto mumbled a little ‘oh I’m sure,’ under his breath before continuing his battle with himself and the tea. 

“Oh, did you throw salt over your shoulder just in case?” I asked, playing along. 

Kakashi tilted his head a little, just enough to make his hair sway slightly to the right. 

“You know,” I rolled my wrist. “To chase away bad spirits hovering at your back.” 

I only knew that because of my little brother’s soccer teammate. His dad used to make him do it before every game and kept a heavy stock of Vicks and bandages for any sort of inflammation. 

Kakashi hummed. “I’ll try that next time. I keep running into bad omens for some reason.” 

“Hm, someone’s probably praying for your downfall.” 

Probably a lot of someone’s. Especially me. I still haven’t forgiven Kakashi for exposing me to the Hokage. Who the fuck does that? Asshole, I still need to figure out revenge. If only I could pay off the chef to spit in his food or something. It would bring peace to my soul.

“You really think someone spends that much time thinking about me?” Kakashi gasped, exaggeratingly coy. 

“Hey, lots of people make bad choices,” I shrugged.

Kakashi snorted and Sasuke’s tiny smirk betrayed his feigned disinterest. Naruto had finally decided to stop giving the tea anymore chances. Naruto filled in the rest of the silence once he was done inspecting the tea. 

“All I’m saying is if your drink is going to taste like flowers, it might as well follow through. Isn’t pollen supposed to be sweet? Why was the aftertaste so bitter?” 

Sasuke, by now on his third cup of tea, jabbed back at every comment Naruto could spew out. I knew he liked tea, but the ten minute back and forth really made me wonder if he was professionally trained as an appraiser for this sort of stuff. I drowned out their argument when Sasuke started waxing poetry about layers and complimenting flavors. 

“Trying a new style?” Kakashi hummed, halfheartedly gesturing at my nails. 

“Nah. I did a babysitting d-rank the other day and the kid decided painting my nails was peak entertainment.”

Naruto cast a quick glance over at my nails while Sasuke kept talking at him. 

“Looking good, Sa- what did you just say teme?!” 

The two whisper-shouted at each other. Kakashi and I worked harder to ignore them. Thankfully there wasn’t anyone directly in front of us- yet. There would be, once the dinner rush started. 

“Is there a shinobi-grade polish on the market? Because this thing has lasted a lot longer than I thought it would. Especially because we did a lot of manual labor today.”

Kakashi hummed. “There is. Usually clear polishes and red and black. I haven't seen other variations, but that’s probably because I’ve never gone looking.” 

I raised a brow at him. 

“Coworker,” he shrugged. 

I nodded. Makes sense. I mean if they sell ninja nail polish, it’s because someone’s there to buy it. 

“Think I should keep it?” I frowned, curling my fingers to inspect that. “Do these even go away with acetone?” 

“Acetone?”

“It’s what civilians use to wipe off nail polish. It isn’t as durable as this.”

Kakashi made a small noise of understanding in the back of his throat. He scooted back into his seat and made Naruto do the same as the waiter returned with our plates of food. 

“Probably not,” Kakashi said. “I think you have to get a chakra-solvent wash for that? I don’t remember.” 

I hummed and quietly thanked the waiter before he left. Naruto had stopped arguing in favor of inhaling his food. Sasuke screwed his mouth into a frown and took much more reasonable bites of his own food. Kakashi had ordered some type of thin noodles with eggplant and chicken. I suddenly realized I’d never seen him eat. Glancing at Sasuke showed narrowed eyes subtly staring towards Kakashi, squinted enough to be passed off as him being lost in thought. 

Well, if I was Kakashi, I’d purposefully not eat in front of someone trying too hard to look uninterested. I picked up my chopsticks and twirled the noodles in them, humming contently at the flavor. Sasuke chose a pretty good spot. I felt Sasuke pour himself more tea and slid my eyes over. I’m kind of surprised the pot isn’t empty. When I looked back at my plate of food, half of Kakashi’s was just gone. I blinked and looked up at him. He chewed innocently. 

Well. That’s one way to keep your anonymity. I ate peacefully as Sasuke somehow roped Naruto into trying to catch Kakashi off guard. Halfway through the meal I flagged down the waiter to ask for water. He glanced over my shoulder and snickered, and when I looked, it was to the sight of Naruto full on staring at Kakashi. His entire body faced our teacher unrepentantly and Sasuke’s subtle gaze had turned red to match his activated sharingan. Kakashi’s plate was down to a final third of food. 

I huffed a laugh through my nose and took a sip of water. It would have been easier to make a genjutsu before Sasuke brought his sharingan out to fool the brats, but I think Kakashi enjoyed making fun of them. It’s the simple joys in life I can appreciate. The rest of my dinner went peacefully, and deliciously, while the boys enjoyed a game of cat and mouse while their food went cold. I even flagged down the waiter to order dessert, keeping an eye on the time so I could go talk to the appropriate office before they closed. 

There isn’t a whole lot in this world that’s particularly sweet, not like anything my tooth-rotting pallet is used to, and the most satisfying sounding thing on the menu was essentially grilled rice mochi with a sweet syrup to dip it into. It didn’t quite scratch the itch. I’d kill for some real dessert. Actually, the opposite. I’d kill for something heavily processed and artificial to burn a hole in my stomach. I’ve never missed s’mores more. I didn’t even complain when Kakashi pilfered one of them, or when Naruto did the same much later. I estimated how much buy part of the bill was and rifled through my wallet for the money. 

“I’m going to deal with that thing Kakashi said to do,” I told Sasuke. “Here’s my part. See you tomorrow?”

Sasuke nodded, sliding the money towards him. 

“Bye Sakura!” Naruto waved, missing as Kakashi ate the last part of his food. 

Kakashi turned a thumbs up at me. Smiling, I left the table. The foreign administrative office was towards the northern wall. When I stepped outside, the sun was still bright and showed no signs of waning. Summer here always seems so eternal. The Akimichi outer-district, the one teeming with restaurants and different shinobi-owned establishments, was full of life and sound. The loudest were the bars. Even though there were only three scattered around the district (that must have spanned over twenty establishments), the bars let out the loudest laughter. Some restaurants had tables outside of the actual building. Absolutely everyone I could spot had a headband on, and the few that didn’t were kids too young to be out of the academy. 

I took in the atmosphere as I walked, something aching deep in my chest. Something I’d never be able to throw off. 

I miss my family. My real family. My sisters and my brother, my mother and father, even my annoying cousins that I only saw during family reunions. In a weird way, I miss Sakura’s family. I left them so abruptly, and even though they’ll never be mine, they loved her. At least Father Haruno loved Sakura. I’m sure her mother cared, to some extent, but it’s the noise I miss most of all. The feeling of someone being there, even if they said nothing. The sound of sleep-heavy footsteps and the clinking of dishes you can barely reach. I crossed my arms against my chest and tried to will the loneliness away. 

As I stepped further away from the Akimichi district, the ache only grew colder. Their sounds faded into the wind and it only left more room for my reminiscing. I miss the panic I felt when I had to fix the hole my sister left in my apartment before my landlord came for a closing tour. I miss worrying about them, I miss them knowing how much I love them. I closed my eyes and let out a long, slow, breath. It didn’t ease the pain. I rubbed my hands up my face and tried to get myself focused on my task. What would I say? Would I sit through another scolding? 

I let my hands drop and took one steady step at a time, trying to find my way through estimation alone. I’d never been to this particular building and Sakura’s memories only held the vague direction it’s supposed to be in. They didn’t exactly cover every part of the village and a detailed demonstration on how to get there. This office was supposed to be tucked between the foreign mission drop off office and Konoha’s public report office, something that was made after the fall of the KPF. From my understanding, it’s the only way Anbu’s understaffed law-enforcement division has kept on top of their work. 

‘Excuse me, chunin-manning-the-desk. I’ve come to report a crime that happened around noon today. Why did I wait more than five hours to report it? Because I forgot, and then when I was told to do it, I decided to eat first so I wouldn’t shit my pants on an empty stomach. Sorry, hope that’s alright.’ I mentally scoffed. Oh yeah, that would blow over great. Maybe instead of thinking of excuses, I should prepare my groveling. ‘Let me start this by saying I’ve been an excellent person. I’m a credit to the community, really. I help grandmas, single mothers, children, people with disabilities, and I deal with suicidal teammates on the day to day. Please keep that in mind before you decide to kill me for the dumbassery I pulled earlier today by not reporting this as soon as it happened. And if you do decide to kill me, at least give me time to pray.’ 

No, that would definitely seal my fate. At least it would be a quick death. If the chunin’s feeling nice. I tracked the last civilian paperwork offices I passed with my eyes, feeling myself start to build a cold sweat. I had just entered shinobi administrative territory. It felt like walking into hell. The energy here was the opposite of the Akimichi’s district. It was equally loud, but for entirely different reasons. 

“What the hell do you mean you can’t send out a squad of jounin?! What the fuck am I paying you for, huh? This is serious business pal! I ain’t trusting any of my wares to fucking genin, ‘specically not all the way up to Frost! I don’t care how long they’ve been on rotation and I don’t care that they come with two chunin! My things are valuable dammit!”

I shivered and winced as the chunin dealing with that picked up the desk they sat at and threw it at the merchant. The other two chunin in the room rushed to hold him back, glaring daggers at the civilian and physically hissing at anyone who tried to enter the outgoing missions request office. I looked away and walked a little faster. Some genin can’t wait to become chunin. After that, I think I’m willing to wait a lot longer. The buildings ranged from screaming matches to dead silence. The few that were at a normal volume were under some sort of evaluation from Konoha’s General Branches, like statistics visiting the immigration office. Huh. I’d assume immigration would land under civilian territory, but I guess with no real way of identifying a foreign spy, it would fall under shinobi jurisdiction. 

I shook away the thoughts, finally seeing my target. I power-walked to the office and fought off my nerves. If I think something bad’s going to happen, it definitely will. That’s some real self-fulfilling prophecy bull. I shook my hands out, wiped the building sweat on my shirt, and squared my shoulders. I can do this. Ignore the chunin who decided to escalate and yell back at their client. Ignore the initial desk-thrower that’s violently sobbing into their coworker’s shoulder. Ignore the one polishing a kunai while her client slowly stops talking. God this sucks. Is it always this bad or is this just chunin exam season behavior?

When I opened the door to the office, I did so with bated breath. There was a jounin already in there, clipboard in hand. 

“Fuuuuuck,” I whisper-groaned. If I was in trouble before, this basically signs my demotion. 

“No don’t say that,” the man at the desk borderline-begged. “Please, we’ve been having such a good day.”

The jounin glanced between us, heaved a great sigh, and sat on the chair in the room. He took a pen out of the front pocket of his flak jacket, clicked it open, and crossed one leg over the other. The chunin and I stared at him in horror. He waved his hand expectantly. We stared a little longer. The chunin recovered first, clearing his throat and shakily turning to face me. 

“H-how can I help you?”  

I couldn’t hide my grimace. The chunin’s face darkened. 

“So you know how the Kazekage’s kids came here before him…” 

“…” He stared at me, collecting his thoughts. “…yes?” 

“So, my team may have come across all three of them… because they were… threatening the Hokage’s grandson…” 

We stared at each other. The quiet scratch of pen on paper stopped. 

“When did this happen?” The chunin’s voice crackled. 

I felt a little bad, he didn’t look older than 16. 

“…noon?” 

His head bowed, but he resisted the urge to slam it down onto the desk. The jounin stood from his seat and walked over to the back of the counter. 

“Take an early break, Teka. I’ll handle this.” 

The chunin folded over gratefully, nodding at the dark-haired jounin.I felt myself shrink at his heavy gaze, black eyes piercing into mine unblinkingly. God, this sucks. 

“Alright, tell me what happened. Chronologically, if you will.” 

“After completing a series of menial D-ranks, my team and I decided to stop for lunch. On our way to the park near the genin sector, where we had decided to eat, we ran across two older Suna genin. One leaned against a battle fan, discouraging her brother but not really trying that hard to get him to stop. I think she’s the oldest of the three.”

I licked my lips and looked down at my hands, nervously tapping my fingers against the desk. 

“The middle child, Kankuro I think, was really aggressive and moved to attack my teammate when told to leave and stop causing a scene.” 

The jounin raised a brow. “He moved to attack?”

I nodded. “I believe Temari, the eldest, said something about a crow? Kankuro had begun to unwrap a large packet on his back that I can only assume was a puppet. I think that's what she was talking about.” 

The jounin sighed lightly as he wrote it down. I tucked my hair behind my ear and tried not to feel bad about coming so late. 

“Then?” He asked, setting down the pen again. 

“Kankuro insulted Hokage-sama’s grandchild and my teammate once more. Then the youngest appeared. He was calm, but in a bad way. Threatening. Not to us, but to his siblings. They stopped breathing when he made himself known. They’re afraid of him, like extremely. Kid didn’t really pay attention to a single one of us, not until my teammate asked his name. I don’t think he even blinked when he was around us. Real unsettling, but, well I’m going off topic. He introduced himself to my teammate as Sabaku no Gaara, which is when I realized they were the Kazegake’s kids.”

The jounin looked extremely displeased. Whatever words I had left died in my throat before I could say them. His pen dug into the paper as he wrote, and when he was done, he let out an aggrieved sigh before bringing narrowed eyes to mine. 

“That,” he said, voice tense. “Is very concerning, yes. But I need you to tell me exactly what happened with Hokage-sama’s grandson first and foremost. Don’t leave anything out, and don’t stray from the main topic too much.”

“From my understanding,” I said slowly, thinking back to earlier today. “Konohamaru was running down the street and ran into Kankuro’s legs. I can only assume some words were exchanged, but I wasn’t there when it happened. Kankuro called Konohamaru a disrespectful brat and I think he called my teammate an arrogant bastard? Something like that. He was holding up Konohamaru by the scruff of his scarf and I assume shirt for several minutes. Konohamaru ran to safety behind my team when Kankuro dropped him to confront my teammate.” 

The jounin nodded and rubbed his jaw as he wrote. 

“What’s your name and registration? In case I have to follow up on this.”

Well, I know what I’ll be anxious about for the next week and a half.

“Sakura Haruno, 012601.”

“Great. My name is Hiriko Nara, I’m from the foreign intelligence sector of the larger intelligence department of Konoha. I’ll be in touch if needed, but let’s hope it’s not. Thank you for your cooperation.” 

Hiriko slid the pen back into the front pocket of his flak jacket and dipped his head towards me, turning back to a door leading further into the building. I stood there in silence, slowly processing. Okay, so the good news is, no one yelled at me for taking forever to report this. Nice, one point Sam. The next thing is that someone might talk to me again about this, in which case, ouch. I know I won’t remember exactly what happened. I don’t remember exactly what happened now and it’s only been a few hours. Bummer. I bit my lip and brought myself back into the moment. I wonder if Yamanaka mind walks would work to get an accurate recounting? Or can they only see what the brain thinks it sees?

This thought stuck with me as I navigated out of the shinobi business district. The brain processes thousands of things every day, and it doesn’t do so at the same rate for each thing. For example, I don’t remember the faces of the vendors I pass on my way to my apartment. My brain just assumes they must have certain general features to match the passing color schemes I pick up on. Would a Yamanaka then be able to freeze a moment in my brain and clearly observe everything around me in a 180 field of vision? Or would things in my peripheral remain blurry, even if they’re facing directly at it? 

I bet that would cause some serious uncanny valley effects. On the other hand, if they can see everything in perfect clarity, then that’s super fucked. By the time I got into my apartment, I had completely over thought the whole situation and tied my brain into knots. I settled on one particular line of thought. Unless recorded by the sharingan or someone with perfect memory, the Yamanaka will likely never have the full picture. I hummed and locked my apartment door, casually palming the key. Getting Sasuke a key to my place probably isn’t a bad idea. Maybe not Naruto yet, but Kakashi should probably have one for emergencies too. Not yet though, I don’t want him to panic. Do shinobi panic about that? 

Well, whatever. He can deal. I’ll go out and make three copies of the key tomorrow to slowly distribute to them. Then I can head to team training, since apparently that’s a daily thing. It’s about time I took this seriously, I guess. Maybe I’ll finally master that healing thing Kakashi half-way taught us. I probably also just need to think about that dust clone in a new way. Look at it with fresh eyes, as they say. Let’s focus on one thing at a time though. Today, I’ll start with the medical jutsu. Clearly my theoretical knowledge needs some work. It’s only around 6:30, I think cracking open Sakura’s old textbooks can only help. 

Notes:

Thank you all for sticking out another year with me :-)

Man I sure do hope this doesn’t have any sort of unforeseen consequences. I sure do hope the butterfly flapped its wings the right amount of time :D

Chapter 22: Sam Realizes He’s A Slacker

Summary:

Sasuke points out that Sam hasn’t been doing physical drills ever since Kakashi stopped forcing them to in daily training.

Notes:

Way too late to say Happy New Year, but I’m going to say it anyway!

Welcome the 2024 season, welcome the stresses and joys and challenges that come with time. I hope everyone’s year has been going well so far :)

The next morning was the worst in terms of wake up quality. It was my fault, having slumped over the couch at some point and slept on one of the thick textbooks I’d been pouring over all night. The good news is I had an enlightenment last night. I’d been working so hard on keeping my chakra ‘neutral’ that I was making it pure energy. Pure energy is naturally inclined towards heat, hence the random bursts of fire (chakra, in its natural state, is heavily prone to combustion. That’s what makes sealing arts so dangerous and automatically blow up)  despite being a water-inclined person. I don’t need to separate my chakra from its nature to heal, I need to keep my chakra level and consistent at a low frequency. Once I figured that out, performing the basic healing jutsu was easy. The color finally leveled off the way it was supposed to. I still don’t know if it heals, but I could figure that out in training today. 

I yawned and sat up on the couch, groaning and sprawling backwards to crack my neck against the headrest. I twisted this way and that, working out the kinks from sleeping in a crumpled form. I winced as I arched my back and felt a tug at the junction connecting my hips to my waist. I’m never doing this again. I yawned again and stood, stacking the books onto my coffee table. It’s a matter of multitasking from there. I fill my kettle and leave it to boil, water my plant that’s slowly reviving on my balcony, open every window to air out the house while I’m still here, choose an outfit for the day, put the books away while the shower heats up. I turn off the kettle and make a cup of coffee, letting it cool while I brush my teeth and hop into the shower. 

My morning is productive above else, even as I turn my neck this way and that to get the last of the cricks out of it. I’m eating breakfast twenty minutes after I’m up and tying my gear to my body only ten minutes after I sat down to eat. I close all the windows, lock the balcony door, down a large glass of water, and grab my key before I’m out. The first order of the day is making those copies. I’m still not entirely sold on giving one to each person on team 7, but it seems only right. The one thing I’m certain about is giving Sasuke one. Just in case, though of what I’m not sure. There’s a thousand things that could happen to me, and only about 700 have to do with the fact that I’m an assassin for hire. 

The sky’s still a little pink-tinged when I finally leave my apartment. The streets are getting busy with working people setting up their stands and people walking to work. Even though I know my body will ache for hours, the smell of the crisp morning sun soothes my irritation. Konoha is a nice place to live, aesthetically speaking. The people are nice, if superficial, and there’s a little bit of everything scattered within our walls. I think I’d need to see more of the world to really decide, but I think out of all the places I could have ended up, this is far from the worst. 

When I get to a civilian locksmith, I can see that the owner has just opened. The transaction is quick and simple. When the woman catches sight of my headband, she stops trying to talk to me and moves through her work quickly. She’s efficient and clean with her work, even though she’s skittish around me. I don’t take offense. I don’t know her reasons and I have no interest in knowing, so I don’t say a word beyond a simple ‘thank you’ as our transaction finishes. Konoha is simple. It’s a beautiful piece of land built by ambition and truly dedicated people. It’s people that always complicate things. People in Konoha are contradictions. Opposites of each other in beliefs and morals and understandings. Two neighbors can exist and never have something in common. 

Konoha is a constantly spinning coin. It stays balanced while juggling both sides. I palm the freshly pressed key in my hand, running my thumb over the warm metal. One day, the coin will settle. I hum as the training ground comes into view. As always, Sasuke is there. He’s maneuvering from one side of the clearing to the other in a long series of kawaimari and throwing shuriken with sharingan-bright eyes at swaying targets. It’s impressive to see. He spots me long before I’m close enough to call out to him. 

Sasuke finishes his exercise before he comes to a stop a fair distance in front of me. It’s nice that he didn’t automatically start retrieving his weapons. I turn the key over in my hand one last time, stealing my nerves. 

“I got you your own copy,” I say unceremoniously, holding out the silver key. “Because you scared the shit out of me and I realized you were right about it being dumb to keep my key outside my apartment.” 

Sasuke snorts at that and takes the key, tucking it into his back pocket. 

“Serves you right. You don’t even trap your windows and you call yourself a shinobi.” 

The traps Sakura learned in her early years of the academy were always game related. The ones I learned later on were combat oriented. 

“I don’t know how,” I shrug. “I was never taught how to trap stagnant things. That’s part of a security specialization.”

Sasuke considers this for a moment and hums. “Right, you’re a first gen ninja.” 

It’s nicer than saying civilian-born, somehow. I think I’ve gotten Sasuke to soften up more than I realized. It’s an unexpected kindness.

“Yeah,” I breathed out, feeling my lungs release the pocket of whatever emotion I was experiencing. “There’s a lot of things that probably seem obvious to you that I just won’t get.” 

“You know a lot of things.” 

I grin wryly. “Not everything. What I do know comes from an obsessive fear of not knowing, and look where that got me. I know a lot of things I’ll never be able to do or use with no practical experience in any of it. Except healing, I guess, and that’s only because Kakashi deigned to show us how to do the mystic palm jutsu once. Not that I’ve been trying too hard to get better? I should, I think, instead of rolling with the punches. It’s just hard to… really want to do this. To do anything.” 

I stared at my curled fists, feeling a little overwhelmed. Wow. That was a… realization I didn’t need to have right now. Something to unpack late at night when no one is around. 

“That’s a me issue, though,” I huffed an awkward laugh. “I’m getting over it, probably. I mean, I think I mastered that healing thing? Haven’t tested it yet, but now that I reread the books I sorted out my thoughts.” 

I stopped talking. It’s starting to sound like I’m just trying to make myself feel better. When Sasuke’s eyes met mine, I was quick to look away. 

“Are you going to try on fish again?”

Another mercy. 

Instinctively, my nose scrunched. The feeling of fish skin under my nails stayed with me after the wave mission. 

“I don’t think I have any other choice,” I said reluctantly. “But I swear to god, if that thing blows up over me one more time I’m going to quit shinobi life and become a full time fishmonger. I will destroy their ecosystems and I won’t be sorry.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes and finally turned away to collect his weaponry. 

“Melancholy doesn’t suit you,” he calls as he arranges the rings of the kunai on his fingers. “It’s not your default setting.”

It wasn’t before I was forced here. 

“No,” I agree. “That’s much more your thing.” 

The kunai he sends my way imbeds itself into the tree behind me when I take a large step to the left. I smile at Sasuke’s scowl and speed walk to the river at the front edge of our training ground. It’s not very impressive and the animals in it are small, but I don’t need anything crazy to make sure my skill finally works. 

The fish I picked up seemed to be a released pet goldfish slowly gaining way more mass than it should have. I think these are invasive. Perfect, if I fail I’ll still be doing a favor to the environment. When I take the former pet out of the rather small river (more of a stream, really) and make a small cut behind its gill, I’m almost surprised by how easy it is to heal it. I’m more at peace with my chakra now and my chakra goes from feeling like peppermint icy hot to a cooling gel. I guess… wow it really was just my stubbornness that held me back from success. 

Maybe I need to reconsider what I’m doing with the dust clone. The goldfish in my hand gaped angrily, wiggling fruitlessly. Should I release this thing into the water? It’ll eat literally everything, won’t it? Maybe I can keep it as a pet, it’s pretty cute. I cupped it in both hands and wondered if I had anything to hold it in. They say fish can recognize faces and attach certain rudimentary sentiments to them. Would it always know me as the bastard that cut it up for no reason? I sighed and gently lowered it into the water. It’ll live another day. 

Training didn’t get serious until Naruto showed up half an hour later. He had a strange power of making Sasuke’s competitiveness crack up to a 13 and making me feel like shit if I didn’t put in the same amount of effort. Not that I could, but it’s the thought that counts. My dust clone was a little better this time around, but it took up a solid shape with ridiculously fine layers of dirt instead of the gravely material it was supposed to be made out of. It’s like I couldn’t get the chakra to support the right amount of weight. Maybe I’m overthinking this. I don’t have a huge amount of chakra and my control has always been excellent, to the point where minimizing the amount I use to maximize efficiency is my go to. 

I think that’s what’s messing with me. The amount of chakra I'm using for this jutsu is simply not enough. I’m overcompensating for my lack of natural chakra reserves. God dammit I wish I had a way to just- store it. Somewhere on me, something I could just call up when I need it. I huffed an angry breath and shoved it aside for now. This jutsu is not chakra heavy. I don’t need to actively minimize its use. I’ll be okay using slightly more chakra, even if it’ll be a tiny bit wasteful, because it’s hard to control the amount of chakra in individual pockets of the clone. 

The result of pumping more chakra into my dust clone turns into something resembling Sandman. It wants to stay together and the henge on it is fighting to stay cohesive, but the grain of land still melts away from the gravity-pulled limbs I tried to make. I circled my attempt, observed the dripping illusion of hair that splashed back into gravel as it hit the ground and lost access to my chakra. The dust clone looked particularly queasy. It swayed side to side, but it didn’t not falter. My chakra control is too precise for it to rip at the seams, but it certainly isn’t doing well. I stepped back and sighed, releasing my hold on my chakra and feeling as most of it returned to me. The other bit filtered into the air, presumably sinking into the plants and water around the area. 

The dust mainly fell flat into a new layer of the dirt, gently coating thinning blades of grass. The puff of smoke left in the air could be compared to the residue of a rather mild firecracker. Nothing impressive, but still progress. I spend the next bit of time fine tuning the amount of chakra I need. Between the physical clone and the quality of the henge it takes on, I spend an hour and a half of my time. It might have taken less if I didn’t get frustrated and overload it with chakra, making it blow up before it had the chance to form. For now, the clones were as good as they would get. 

It wasn’t meant to be powerful, just a distraction at best, but distractions were often exactly what you needed in a battle. Now that it was structurally sound, I could focus on the henge around it. It defaulted to me, a perfect copy of the patterns my chakra is used to weaving. Working to alter its shape took a decent amount of focus, but it was making the henge over it proportional that really got me. Every time I tried to edit it, it got all uncanny valley on me. Eventually, when Naruto declared his boredom and launched off to find Kiba Inuzuka, I conceded to my lack of artistic talent. 

My clones only looked normal if I kept them confined to the people I already knew. I could make cosmetic changes without issue, but physically altering it left a lot to be desired. 

“Hey Sas,” I called with a quick glance, hand on my chin as I tried to make my clone child-sized. “Your sharingan lets you memorize proportions, right? Why does this look so fucked?” 

Sasuke’s head popped up from where he was hunched over, shoulders heaving after he expelled a considerable amount of chakra in sequenced jutsu usage. He activated his sharingan, the faint glow just visible from the five feet of distance between us. 

“Fat deposits,” he grunted. “Babies are fat and less mobile. The face isn’t symmetrical on kids, the eyes always take up most of the space.”

I made a noise of understanding at the back of my throat. 

“Thanks, those are all great notes.” 

Five minutes later, I was newly encouraged to give up. 

“Now that,” Sasuke drawled, wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. “Has got to be the worst thing to actively exist.”

I stared at my deformed pudgy baby. Its face was almost collapsing into itself, considering how much I flattened the nose bridge and how heavy its cheeks turned out to be. Not to mention the nonexistent neck. I sighed and stopped channeling my chakra to it. It fell apart with an almost whisper of gratitude. It’s miserable life had come to an end. 

“I think my limit is things I know really well.” 

Sasuke nodded. 

“Did the mystic palm end up working out?”

I nodded. 

“How’s the defibrillator jutsu going?” 

Sasuke’s lips twisted into a delicate frown. 

“Not as slow as I anticipated,” he allowed. “But it’s hard to gauge if it’s working without someone to actively use it on.” 

Ethically, I’m assuming. 

“If we can goad Kakashi into a spar, I think it’s fair game. I kind of doubt the hospital allows self taught genin to roam their halls for test subjects. Wait, scratch that. Shocking someone who doesn’t need to be shocked will for sure stop their heart. I don’t want you to commit manslaughter this early in your life.” 

I sat down and crossed my ankles, turning the thought over in my head. It’s morally wrong to do it on someone who doesn’t need it, it’s illegal to do it on someone who does… that kind of only leaves enemies, and that’s still an ethical can of worms. I’m not going to encourage testing this out on animals… 

“I think you shouldn’t go over 400 joules of electricity when you use that thing. And I think you shouldn’t use below 100?” 

“150 to 380 on civilians and critically injured shinobi. 130 to 350 on shell shocked shinobi. 400 only as needed.” 

Huh, I wouldn't have expected that. 

“Okay, can you tell how much energy each one of your shocks gives off?” 

That sounds like a reasonable step to establish. 

“…I can tell when on a scale from ‘will that do anything?’ to ‘will that do too much?’…” Sasuke trailed off as he flexed his red-tinged hands.

“I think step one is finding a ‘yeah that seems like it might be enough’ stage on the scale. Then step two should be making sure it doesn’t harm you when you use it. Step three should be ‘find something to test it on’, which I’ll brainstorm some more about.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. His lack of patience is far from surprising, so I brushed it off. I stretched this way and that, wondering if it was still before noon. Probably. I don’t think I’ve been here more than three or four hours. 

“I’m going to my apartment to get that library book I took out. I don’t plan on working on it too much anymore so I’m going to return it and get something else. I’ll see you later?” I asked as I stood up and brushed my hands off on my shirt. 

Sasuke’s nod was short and pointed. “Make sure you do physical conditioning at some point.” 

I poked my abs, or at least the bare bones of what would become my abs. I mean he’s right, I’ve been pretty content to slack off. Especially without Kakashi’s conditioning from hell. 

“Good call,” I conceded. “Well. Later.”

I chose to ignore Sasuke’s little chuffing noise as I walked back to my apartment. I was only in there for a few minutes. It took one to get my book and another three to eat an orange. I didn’t bother strolling to the library like before, instead taking to the roofs and finally traveling like the rest of the super soldiers in this village like to. The only down side was having to Mario-slide down the wall to reach ground safely again. Could I have walked down vertically or even cushioned my fall with chakra? Probably. Is this a lot less effort? Infinitely. 

There was a new librarian today, a short girl with thick brown hair twisted into a bun on top of her head. She glanced me over from the top of her book for a second before she continued to read. Yeah, that’s fair. I booked it for the genjutsu section. It never really interested me, and if I’m honest it still doesn’t, but my finer chakra control should theoretically make me great at it, right? Wasted talent is no talent. With power comes great potential to do really cool things and all that jazz. I picked up a rudimentary book on the theory behind genjutsu and sat myself at one of the two heavy oak desks in the building. 

It didn’t take much reading for me to realize that although I had the perfect chakra and chakra control for genjutsu, my creative abilities (or lack thereof) made the whole thing a project in futility. Me and visual genjutsu were not destined to happen. Now I had a couple of options. I could cut my losses and give in to physical conditioning or I could focus on auditory and sensory genjutsu. It’s 10:30, I have time to kill before lunch. I decide to hunker down with two new theory books and see if anything sticks. 

At 12:17, I get a migraine from the sheer amount of theory I’ve ingested. I didn’t even learn about genjutsu, I learned about the human brain. Specifically, the shinobi human brain. If this was what it took to practice genjutsu, no wonder there were so few masters of the subject. I closed the books and hunched over on the desk, running slow circles against my temple. Literally what the fuck. Why does anyone bother with genjutsu instead of just overloading the brain with chakra? Because when you cast a genjutsu, you’re manipulating the ambient chakra around your opponent's brain to make it think something that isn’t happening is happening. You’re not inserting your own at a significant enough level to weaponize it directly. 

That’s another reason it takes crazy chakra control. More importantly, it’s why it takes forever to make progress in the field. I don’t have that amount of dedication in me. It sounds really hard and I’m not very scholarly inclined. Maybe if I was actually Sakura this would be right up her alley, but I’m not and I’m not interested in pretending I am. It’s the reason I’d never really get into healing. Not only would I be an on-call doctor that probably wouldn’t be allowed to leave the village for missions, I’d also have to dedicate my life to constant learning. Who would do that when you can learn something deadly way faster? 

Not that healing isn’t good, it’s just not something I have patience for. I paused, a slow wave of resentment creeping up my shoulders. 

I need to stop feeling guilty for not wanting to do it, holy crap. That was an unexpected dose of self loathing. Well. I’m not Peter Parker, I don’t have some moral obligation to become a healer just because I can. I think my overall experience in the library today could be described as: fascinated, morbidly curious, wholly uninterested in actually doing. I’ll stick to the little I know, the basic things that don’t require much effort to pull off. 

If anything, Wave taught me to be aware of the counters to things. I tapped my nails on the wood, the dark green polish sparkling ominously. How hard can dissolving genjutsu be, really? I stood up and put away the books I had taken, eyes scanning vigilantly for a book on unraveling genjutsu. What I found was rudimentary, the type of thing taught to academy students. Pain was one way to dispel jutsu, and chakra disruption was another. I find it hard to believe they’re the only ways. Just as ambient chakra is used to target specific parts of your brain, you must be able to use your own chakra to prevent it or interfere with it. 

I groaned. Looks like I have to study the brain after all. I’m not about to experiment on myself either. Flooding my brain with chakra, even if it’s my own, sounds like a terrible idea. If there’s nothing of use in the genjutsu section, it looks like I’ll have to suck up my reservations and head back into the medical. Well, since I’m here anyway, I might as well see if there’s any way to make medical jutsu into a defense. It seems easy enough to make it offensive at any rate. 

I didn’t leave the library until my stomach growled at me. By then, the librarian had changed to another face I’d never seen. I’d returned the dust clone book and took out a thesis on the effects of chakra on the brain from some medical researcher out in Grass. This one didn’t have to return until two weeks had passed. All the better. Even though I could recite the information word for word after the first read, it didn’t make it any easier to understand. I was still turning over various phrases in my head when I returned to my apartment, absently heading into the kitchen for a snack. 

The hunger I feel abates just enough for me to clear my head. It’s too early to eat dinner but too late to eat lunch and I’m just about done with the academic readings for today. I sigh while I peel an orange, frowning. Sasuke was right about physical conditioning. I’ve even been slacking on my stretching. I just don’t know where to start. I don’t have a way to tell if I’m improving and any methods of physical training I know are civilian born from my last life. What if I work on things and cripple some ninja-specific trait I was supposed to have learned by now? 

I need to make a plan, and more importantly, I have to stick to it. Stretching is still a must. It’s not just keeping myself mobile, but it’s expanding my mobility in a way human bodies aren’t used in modern day settings. I ran my fingers over my palm. The skin was beginning to smooth over, a testament to how little environmental diversity Ive allowed myself recently. I didn't really keep training in Wave. I was too busy with Kakashi and the boys, too stressed about things I have no power over. It’s a problem. I wonder if I’m losing muscle definition already. God, that’s such a weird thing to care about. 

I went from Sunday hiker to full time assassin. What the fuck is even my existence. You would think I’d be used to it, given that I’ve been here almost three years. It’s just so fucking ridiculous. This world has magic and no one’s ever used it to advance society in argueably the largest ninja village in the world. Chakra’s so weaponized that civilians don’t even know how to use it in the most basic capacity. How many civilians could have survived harsh weather if they were taught to regulate their body temperature with chakra? How many healers would we have in the village? 

It’s honestly a waste. There’s no way that it’s like this everywhere though. There’s got to be some place actually doing things with chakra. Like introducing metal as a conductor for it. Not in a weapon sense, because that’s been done, but in a disconnected sense. Like an irrigation system? Weapons laced with chakra need constant funneling from a person. If someone could figure out non-contact chakra fueled tools… Man. I wish I had inherited Sakura’s intelligence. I bet she could actually do something with all my trains of thoughts.

I shake my head and eat the rest of the orange. What’s important right now is making sure I’m as good as I’m going to get. These exams won’t be easy, for all that they’ll be within Konoha’s walls. If I don’t plan to do my best, I might as well not do it at all. The only experience in exercise I can lay claim to is second-hand information from my little sister. She was the athletic one, the gymnast of the family that got a full ride to college for it, the one that didn’t cry when she got passed up as an Olympic contender, but rather worked twice as hard to make it next year. 

She never made it, but she never gave up. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wish I had half the determination she does. Did. Something sad pangs in my heart. Does, I remind myself firmly. It’s me who’s gone from her life. It’s a two way street, really, but I have to believe that she’s still alive in our world. Her world. 

She would tell me to play to my strengths. I clenched my fist idly. Sakura’s always had a nasty punch, so maybe I should focus on strength training and speed instead of focusing on agility and flexibility like I normally would. Is that setting me up for failure? Ideally I should be working on a little bit of everything each day. It’s not going to be even remotely fun, I already know. I sighed and stretched my back. I can't just say I’m going to do this, I have to plan it out. I searched my home for a piece of paper and a pen, finally taking advantage of the balcony I hardly use. The fresh air helped me sort out my thoughts, even if seeing the yellow tips of my plant’s leaves prodded at my heart a little. 

It was a fighter, that’s for sure. I tapped my pen against the paper and hummed. I have a lot of core workouts laid out in between my usual stretches, but I definitely need to make time to work on speed and projectile accuracy. I’m pretty good at close range, but my follow through with kunai could definitely use some work. You just don’t need that kind of strength with senbon and shuriken. I should also brush up on water walking, just in case. Maybe I should see if I can find a river with some strong rapids and do some kata exercises on it. I nodded to myself, jotting it down. I can probably find weights somewhere to make it double as strength training, along with balance. 

By the time an appropriate dinner time came around, I had a solid plan of what to do. I wouldn’t be giving myself any rest days (shinobi muscles are simply built different) and I would be actively working out for a total of four and a half hours a day while taking on lighter missions in the evening just to make sure I had enough money to cover my expenses. I’d also need to plan to either start later once a week or wake up earlier so the medication the hospital gave me to stop Sakura’s period did its job properly. I seriously wish I could just dig that damn thing out and be done with it, but I think self mutilation would lead me straight to a padded cell. 

Patience, Sam. How long is a year, really? That’s nothing. That’s just 12 months, which is really just 4 seasons. You’ll be good to go soon enough. 

I huffed out a breath of air and stood, finally going back in after enjoying the summer sun for so long. My stomach’s begging for food anyway. I put the pen down on the kitchen table and stuck my plan onto the fridge so I could review it tomorrow morning. Hopefully I’ll see some progress before July comes, though it doesn’t give me a lot of time to adjust. I hummed as I rummaged through my fridge. I need to take some time to do an equipment review before the exams. I think chuunin hopefuls are expected to come fully decked. Either way, preparing will make me feel a lot better about the whole thing. Better to be overstocked than short a kunai when you need it. 

Notes:

I have so many planned plot points but they’re so disorganized 😭 a lot of them are contradicting but I can never remember what I decided to implement into the story and what I decided to scrap bc I have five different note sections and they’re all actively being used. God help me

Chapter 23: The Wind Up

Summary:

The week before the chunin exams is mainly just a game of repetition. At least it was until Kakashi decided to systematically kidnap his team.

I was right in thinking that working out consistently was going to suck. It was on day three that I had already considered throwing my life away to live on a remote island somewhere. Having chakra meant my natural athleticism was at an insane base level, which meant I needed to push myself that much harder to make a difference in my endurance and power. I’d abandoned my over shirt a long time ago, too sweaty to give a shit about who saw my sports bra. Finding traditional weights was weirdly hard. The default settings seemed to be these weird wearable weights that relied on fuinjutsu. Whatever they were, they were crazy expensive. 

It was a relief to find the weights I was used to, even if the cashier seemed vaguely confused when I bought them. They were in a clearance aisle, collecting dust with some other weird stuff. I worked out alone for the most part, even though Naruto and Sasuke were always at the training grounds working on their own stuff. I think Naruto learned how to throw his clones with the wind jutsu he originally got and spent most of day 3 interrupting Sasuke’s training and finding out what happens when he tries to interrupt mine. 

My muscles didn’t suddenly decide to make themselves known, but I did start losing the roundness that always chased Sakura’s face. My arms weren’t looking twig-like anymore either, so I counted it as a win. I also discovered a new development on day four when we had an ‘every man for themselves’ sparring session. 

“Ow!” I hissed, fist approximately two inches deep into the tree Naruto dodged away from. 

I winced as I pulled my fist out, chunks of wood embedded into my bloody hand. My knuckles hurt. I felt my eyes water a little as I pulled out a thick splinter. God that sucked. The spar had come to a stop and Naruto apologized for my pain, even if it wasn’t his fault. 

“Not your circus, Sunshine,” I said through clenched teeth, pulling out as much wood from my hand as I could. “It was my own fault.” 

“Did you finally start enhancing your body with chakra?” Sasuke asked when he hopped out of a nearby tree. “I always wondered why you didn’t.” 

I brushed the last of the wood out from under my skin and stared blankly at Sasuke. You can’t enhance yourself with chakra, that’s how you blow your tendons into pieces. His eyebrows crept up to his hairline at my non-reaction. Naruto glanced between us. 

“Don’t tell me you didn’t know that was a thing,” Sasuke said slowly. 

“Iruka-sensei said that’s how you blow up your arms.”

Naruto nodded between us, chin resting on the junction between his thumb and index finger. 

Sasuke took a deep breath and cradled his head in his hands. “How did you get the grades you got?”

I crossed my arms and glared at him. “I’ll have you know I worked very hard to know as much as I do. Hours of my life I’ll never get back spent to make sure I wasn’t ignorant.”

“Clearly there were some gaps,” Sasuke said dryly. 

I scowled and looked away. 

“Don’t be mean, teme,” Naruto chided, putting on his best ‘scolding parent’ look. 

Naruto always had my back. I nodded along with him. 

“See, Naruto agrees that it’s not unreasonable for me to not know whatever it is that you know.” It’s sounding like Sasuke’s convinced there’s a way to enhance your body with chakra without making your ligaments burst like an overfilled sausage casing. 

“Your hand is still bleeding, idiot. Either come here or heal it yourself.” 

That’s surprisingly generous. If I were him, I’d have made him heal it himself. Still, I was curious to see if he’d gotten the technique down pat on more than just himself. I closed enough of the distance between us for him to snatch my hand roughly. I grit my teeth unhappily. 

“You have terrible bedside manners,” I grouched. 

Sasuke gave me a pointed look. I sighed. 

“Thank you for healing my hand,” I said grudgingly. 

Naruto seemed to wipe a tear from his eye in the background. I sent him an annoyed look.

“What?” He defended. “Sasuke offered to help and you actually used manners. I’m proud. ” 

“What have we come to?” I asked Sasuke. “When Naruto is the best behaved out of team seven. I remember Iruka sensei lecturing him about respect for hours at a time. What changed?” 

Naruto beat Sasuke to the punch. “I didn’t get better,” he said. “You two got worse.” 

I gaped at him. He’d just quipped back at us. Sasuke’s brows inched up in surprise, the green glow on his hand threatening to flicker. 

“What have we done?” I whispered softly. “Sunshine child… Where have you gone?” 

Naruto scrunched his nose. “Oh, ew. You’re right. Your bad energy’s totally rubbing off on me.”

I sniffled and bent my head. “That’s what she said.” 

“Okay, we’re done here,” Sasuke said, shoving me down to the ground as soon as he healed my hand. 

I yelped, ungracefully lading flat on my ass. I bit back the urge to whine (I wasn’t actually 12- 13? Shit) and instead stared at Naruto intently. Catching my drift, Naruto came to help me up and jutted his chin at Sasuke’s back in question. I narrowed my eyes as he hauled me up. I tilted my head towards Naruto and sharply nodded upwards. He made a small noise at the back of his throat and the sign he used to make clones. He put up seven fingers and gestured at both of us. Dogpile, huh? 

I hummed and nodded. I lifted five fingers and put them down one by one. When only my thumb was up, Naruto grinned and summoned a hoard of clones around us. We jumped Sasuke, landing in a pile enveloped in smoke from the few clones he managed to dispel before we landed. It didn’t take long for it to turn into a play-fight, each of us trying to shove each other’s face into the dirt. I snickered when I popped one of the Naruto’s by using it as a shield against him and yelped when Sasuke pulled my head down by the hair. 

I opened my mouth to yell at him and froze at an almost imperceptible little ‘click’ noise up in the trees. Naruto froze along with me and Sasuke sprang up, sharingan eyes jumping to where Naruto and I’d heads were tilted. 

“Kakashi,” Sasuke said flatly, eyes fading back to black. 

I groaned and dropped back into the grass. Naruto stood and craned his neck back, squinting up at our teacher. 

“Neh, Kaka-sensei, where’d you get that camera from?” 

I groaned again. Great, he has a picture of us now. Since when was he a sentimentalist? 

“Oh, around,” Kakashi’s teasing voice rang out. “I’m glad to see you’ve been getting along, but I need to borrow Naruto. Don’t wait up, alright?” 

I sat up as Kakashi jumped down, picked Naruto up by the back of his shirt, and whisked away in a swirl of leaves. Naruto didn’t even have time to yell. Sasuke and I met each other’s eyes and blinked slowly at each other. 

“So… you wanna teach me how to reinforce my body with chakra?” I asked to break the stunned silence. 

“Hn. Sure, but you’re buying lunch,” Sasuke said, readjusting his weapons’ pouch and ineffectively patting the dirt off his clothes. 

I huffed and got off the floor. “Fine, fair is fair. You choose the place.”  

Sasuke waved me off. “After you get this down.” 

“You think I will?” I questioned, raising a brow despite myself. 

Sasuke scoffed. “If you don’t, I’ll start doubting your perfect chakra control.” 

I hummed. “Well, explain then. My understanding is that coating your muscles with chakra is the fastest way to the ER you can get.”

“That’s right,” Sasuke nodded. “You’re not supposed to circle chakra around your muscles. Theoretically it’s a great enhancement, but as soon as you overload even a little, you get the explosion. I never understood why Iruka didn’t teach the class how to enhance their bodies by channeling chakra directly under the fatty tissue layer.” 

I tilted my head, medical facts lightly bouncing around my skull. “It’s more shock absorbent,” I chanced. 

“Hn,” Sasuke agreed. “Chakra enhances that quality, reduces friction in motion, as well as making it harder upon sudden impact, so your punches can hurt worse than they already do.” 

“Like when you mix cornstarch and water you get oobleck.”

Sasuke shot me a confused look. I sighed and waved it off. 

“Alright, so how do I know I’m doing it right?” 

Sasuke hummed. “It’s hard to get it wrong. Your body doesn’t naturally want to increase the chakra circling your muscles or organs. It’s easier to do in your bloodstream. The challenge is to keep it up consistently because once you’re able to do it, it’s significantly harder to tell when you’re adding more chakra to your circulation. It tends to blend together.” 

I gave him a pointed look. If I can sense the thickness of chakra when I stick to things or feel as it copies the contours of the water I stand on, I can feel how it’s running through me. 

“So, do I just punch something?” 

Sasuke looked at me like I was an idiot. “And have you become part tree again? No thank you. Wrap your arms before you violate another tree.” 

I scrunched my nose at him. “Why do you have to be so offensive when making perfectly reasonable observations?” 

“You’re just offensively stupid.” 

“Hey! Now that was uncalled for,” I sniffed delicately. 

“When you exercise the common sense I know you have, I’ll be more polite.” 

I rolled my eyes while I got to it. This is what I get for not establishing myself as the alpha when I had the chance. Now I have to deal with snooty brats. 

“I’ve been a terrible influence,” I lamented, idly building my chakra up. “And this is my punishment.” 

“Yes,” Sasuke said distractedly, sharingan whirling as he focused on my arm. “Put more intention into what you’re doing. It’s there to protect and attack, not to linger.” 

I frowned and nodded, tensing my arm to focus on the chakra moving within. 

“Good,” Sasuke said, positioning himself behind and to the right of my right shoulder. “Make sure your shoulder is getting an equal flow as your arm and your knuckles have just a bit less.” 

I closed my eyes to help me concentrate. I took a deep breath. I let it go.

“Now.” 

I struck quick and hard, making sure not to over-direct my body on a target this close and unmoving. The wood splintered away layer by layer the deeper my fist drove in. When my punch went as far as it would, I was left with my arm buried wrist deep into the tree. 

“Hn. I want teishoku from Heiwa no Aji.” 

I pulled out my hand from the bark, shooting Sasuke an annoyed look. “That’s across town.” 

He raised a brow at me. I sighed and shook off my arm, the last of the wood falling into the grass. 

“Fine. Let’s go.” 

“Try pumping chakra through your legs with the intention to cushion. I’ll race you there.” Sasuke was already stretching his legs. 

I ran chakra through my legs, frowning a bit as I worked out how to loosen my limbs instead of bracing them against an attack. I lifted my legs and ran in place experimentally. It felt… odd. Like I’ve already been running for a while and just hit my runner’s high. It was one thing to use a quick burst of chakra to make my jumps higher and an entirely different thing to sustain a higher speed. 

“Are you ready?” Sasuke asked. 

I took a deep breath, stretched my legs a little more, and nodded. There was no countdown, we simply went. We ran off out of the training ground and into town, jumping onto the rooftops. We were pretty even for a while, but I think it’s just because Sasuke wanted to make sure I got it down. When it was clear I wouldn’t mess it up (and there were a few close calls) he took off at his own speed, something that easily surpassed mine and Naruto’s. Even with chakra, my speed compared to his only improved a little. Just enough for me to notice, but not enough for me to be anywhere near to catching up. 

At least this meant I could follow Sasuke to the actual restaurant. I knew the general area it was in, but buildings tend to blur in my mind. Sasuke touched down onto the ground a lot sooner than I did, but he waited for me to get to the street before moving further. We ate lunch together and went to the mission’s office for some D-ranks when we were done. The next day wasn’t too different from the one before. The only difference is that Kakashi decided to abduct me instead of Naruto. 

“If you don’t get your hands off me right this second , I swear to god above Kakashi I’ll do everything in my power to burn your fucking porn, do you hear me?!” I screeched, caught between wanting to cover my exposed midriff and barfing at moving this fast while upside down. 

“Now now, trust sensei,” Kakashi hummed. 

I scowled at him for a second before wincing and slamming my eyes shut at the sudden motion sickness that hit me. If I throw up, please let it land on Kakashi. We touched down a few painful minutes later. As soon as Kakashi put me down, I grabbed his arm and dry heaved against him. 

“Now that’s not very nice.” 

I shuddered and didn’t fight it as he redirected my head. “That was the worst thing ever. You could have carried me normally.” 

“Could I have? I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” he said blandly. 

I clicked my tongue as I regained my bearings. I took one last deep breath before cataloging where we are. 

“You brought us to my apartment building?!”

How does he even know where I live? My genin file doesn’t have my updated address. It only had my previous address for as long as it took Kakashi to memorize it! The man has a sharingan. Oh my God. 

“Huh. It appears I have. Well, since we’re here, we might as well go up. It’s time sensei had a good talk with you,” Kakashi said solemnly. 

“Why are you calling yourself sensei? Do you know where my actual apartment is? Is this going to be a puberty talk?” My voice shook with every question. 

“Well, we’re burning daylight. Come on Sakura-kun.” 

My jaw fell open. I forgot to fight Kakashi as he led me into the lobby and up the stairs like he’d been there before. He probably has been, the bastard. 

“This is weird,” I hissed as he presented me to my apartment door. 

“Is it? Hm, I don’t think so. Well, we might as well go in now that we’re here, right?” 

Anything I was about to say died in my throat as Kakashi stuck two senbon through my door lock. He was in my apartment in three seconds flat. I followed him numbly. 

“I could have also just popped open a window,” Kakashi says cheerfully. “Your lack of security is very disturbing.” 

“You know what’s really disturbing? You being in my house like you own it.” 

Kakashi ignored me and looked around. “It’s nice to see you got furniture, it was a little depressing before.” 

I scowled, crossing my arms over my chest. “How do you know what it looked like before?!” 

“Well, since we’re on the topic of security, I guess I can teach you some ways of fortifying your place. Aren’t I so nice?” 

Kakashi took out a book from one of the pockets on his vest. It wasn’t the usual orange porn book, but instead a brown hardcover with ‘home’ written on the spine. Had he moved on to soapy romance novels? 

“I might have agreed if you just said that last part back at the training ground.”

Kakashi smiled, I think, and pressed the book to his chest. “Your enthusiasm never fails to brighten my day.” 

I threw my hands up. “I’m sorry! But this is weird! You’re fucking weird for being here when I wasn’t around, when I never told you my address! Jesus.” 

Kakashi tutted at me. “Firstly, I’m a ninja, it’s my job to know important things. Secondly, I don’t know what a je-zus is, but I think I’m offended. Thirdly, you should carry the bingo book I gave you at all times. I don’t think it’s a good idea to just have it displayed on your bookshelf.” 

“You were in my bedroom?!” 

Kakashi scratched his ear with his pinky. “Yes, because your home might as well lack walls. I’m here to fix that, if you’ll stop yelling at me?” 

I tapped my foot on the ground, trying to spend some of my angry energy. “I think I have a right to be at least a little upset. Why were you even here?” 

“What kind of sensei would I be if I didn’t know what kind of place my precious student was living in? I had to make sure you could fend for yourself.” 

I narrowed my eyes, frowning in thought. Kakashi’s light tone automatically made me want to doubt him, but I’m pretty sure it’s a double bluff. Was he really just worried about me? I mean, I guess I would be too if I found out my student suddenly wasn’t living at home with their parents anymore. 

I uncrossed my arms and sighed. “Okay. Thank you for worrying.” 

Kakashi’s eye curved up in his signature smile and brought down his hand to pet my head. I frowned again, catching his wrist with my hand. 

“Please don’t do that. I don’t like anyone touching my head. Can you just- hug me? Or something. Like a normal person,” I cringed. God why did I just say that. 

Kakashi’s eyebrow crept up to his hairline. “Do you want to be hugged?” 

I covered my face with my hands. “… Maybe? I… don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone for a hug. I’m sorry, I’m really embarrassed.” 

What’s wrong with me? Why am I being so emotionally vulnerable these days? I need to get a grip. Kakashi took a few steps to be right in front of me. I clenched my eyes shut and took a deep breath.

“Sakura, it’s okay.” Kakashi lowered my hands. 

He sat crouched in front of me, practically at eye level. I forced myself to look at him, hoping I didn’t look as miserable as I felt. 

“Why did you move out of your parent’s house?” 

It’s not what I expected him to say. My heart pounds in my ears as I look at him. Why did I move out? Because Mother Haruno would never love me and I could never love her? Because Father Haruno loves Sakura so much and I will never be her? Because I’ve ruined something so fundamental by just existing? Because leaving them meant breaking their hearts with the image of their daughter in tack. 

“I’m not their daughter.”

That’s the long and short of it. I’m not Sakura. I’m Samuel. I’m a grown man turned child turned soldier. The love I feel for Sakura’s parents isn’t my own. The rose-tint she had washed away for me to see how subpar her parents are. How could I possibly let myself bond with them when I’ve taken away their only child? 

“No,” Kakashi breathes. “I suppose you aren’t. I’m sorry.” 

The hug he pulls me into is surprisingly strong. My heart is beating wildly as I wrap my arms around Kakashi’s shoulders. It’s all I can do to stop myself from crying. 

“Do you think they could ever forgive me? I never wanted this. I can’t change it. I wish I was what they wanted me to be.”

I wish I was never brought here. It’s my fault they’ll never get to see their little girl grow up. Why didn’t I at least try to be her? Would that have been better? Is there something I could have done? I’m not her. Is it my fault? I already lived a good life. She’ll never get the chance. 

“Take a deep breath,” Kakashi said. “Hold it… Let it go.” 

I followed his instructions, successfully fighting off tears, but failing to stop the shaking in my hands. I felt his hands rubbing my back comfortingly and shuddered against him. 

“I’m so sorry. It’s not your fault. You can’t change who you are, you just are. It’s okay. I’m here.”

My heart ached. Kakashi doesn’t know. Yet he’s still… Maybe the reason I don’t like him is because I’m not giving him the chance. He’s a good person, obviously. I dabbed the bottoms of my eyes and stepped out of Kakashi’s hug. 

“Are you okay?” He asked with concerned eyes. 

“I think I will be. Thank you, Kakashi-sensei.” 

He looked stunned for a moment, but it was gone in the blink of an eye. “Can I call you Sam?” 

For a second, I forgot to breathe. “I-I don’t know how to tell Sasuke and Naruto.” 

“Hm. But that’s what you would prefer to be called?” 

“I… Yes. I think so.” 

Kakashi nodded and took out the brown book again. “Then when we’re in private, I’ll call you Sam. Now, to teach you how to protect your home! Let’s start with your bathroom.” 

Kakashi walked off into the hall, waving the book at me as he went. I knew my jaw was hanging open. 

“No time for dawdling Sam-kun! I’m a busy man and you have training to do,” Kakashi called from my bathroom. 

I shook my head, refocusing. “Coming, sensei.”

In his own weird way, Kakashi really cares. I think… it would be okay if I let myself care back.

Notes:

This fluff was brought to you by my dog’s happy face at getting a new harness and leash.

I didn’t mean to make this chapter sappy but I think it worked out well. Sam finally sees Kakashi as a sensei and is admitting how much taking over Sakura really has affected him. I know I didn’t explicitly say it, but assume Kakashi took Sasuke the next day.

Sam accepted his attachment to the boys a long time ago bc he sees himself as an adult in charge of them.

The picture Kakashi took has two copies. One in his apartment and one in his summon’s world. Both are captioned ‘puppy pile’ along with the date

Sasuke’s officially the only one that still mildly dislikes Kakashi

Kakashi has realized he would rip out anyone’s throat for his team, but especially if someone made Sam feel bad about being a boy in a girl’s body

As far as the name Sam: I know it’s a little strange to have a name like this in a Japanese show based fic, but I figured if Dan can be a canonical name, why can’t Sam? If Sam ever decides to say his full name ‘samuel’ it’ll probably be pronounced as Samaru by everyone around him. If that helps with realism for you, feel free to consider Sam short for Samaru

As always, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed today’s chapter :D

The chunin exams will begin next chapter >:D

Chapter 24: The Chunin Exams

Summary:

It’s only day one and Sam already has reason to suspect foul play. If that isn’t a red flag, he doesn’t know what is.

Notes:

This is a long chapter. The first part is the day before the exam where Kakashi actually engages in teacher behavior and the the second part is the actual exam day

If you don’t want to read it in one sitting but don’t want to lose your place, here’s the final paragraph in the first part

-> We get something cheap for dinner and split up with promises of meeting up by the academy. Kakashi tells us he’ll see us before the first exam starts and to make sure we take his advice. I think he might have made a money bet on these exams. At the end of the day, all that’s left is prep work. I eat, bathe, and settle down to review the academic part of shinobi life. Outside of that, there isn’t much for me to do.

Two days before the chunin exams, Kakashi abducted Sasuke. Naruto had apparently been kidnapped to talk about nutrition and hygiene. I don’t know what Kakashi wanted to talk to Sasuke about, but hopefully it was about his inferiority complex. It’d gotten better ever since we got back home from the Wave mission, but he still got this look when Naruto did unexpectedly well at something. Something like jealousy, rage, self-hatred, and a burning want that always made my teeth itch. Sasuke was a perfectionist in everything he did, but that look was something else. 

“Ne, Sa-chan, wanna get ramen together?” 

The question is predictable, one asked after every session. 

“Sure,” I say. “If you stop calling me chan.” 

Naruto only blinks at this, eyes squinting in thought. “Sa?” 

“No.” I shut it down without hesitation. 

“Kura,” he says. 

“That’s… more tolerable,” I admit. 

“Saku?” 

I scrunch my nose in distaste. “No thank you.” 

“Hmm… There’s something you called yourself once… But I can’t remember. How do you feel about Ra?” He asked, hands palm to palm and pointed towards me. 

“Honestly? I like it more than Saku, less than Kura. Can you not just call me Sakura? At least I’m used to that.” 

“But you don’t like it. I can’t call you something you don’t like. Seriously, what’s that name you called yourself back in Wave?” 

I blinked. He… remembers my outburst? I grimaced, ducking my chin against my neck. If I tell him, he’ll start calling me that and I’ll have to have that talk with Sasuke. 

“It’s… personal,” I say slowly, reigning in my freak-out. “I’m not ready to share it yet.” 

Naruto tilts his head in confusion. “But it’s a name?” 

“It’s me,” I say, suddenly awkward and self conscious. “Sorry, Sunshine. Maybe later?” 

Naruto’s confusion melts away into delight. “Oh! Right. You call me sunshine now. Would that make you rain?” 

“That’s more Sasuke. Although I’d say ‘Storm’ is more fitting.” I smiled, relieved at the change of topic. 

Naruto nodded. “You’re definitely more like the breeze.” 

“How so?” I ask in surprise. 

Naruto waved his hand at me. “You can be pretty angry, no offense, but you’re also pretty good at calming us down. Breeze makes sense.” 

I failed to connect the logic there. 

“What about sensei?” I ask to distract myself. 

“He’s a scarecrow, duh. He just stands in his field and deals with it while we do whatever. Most of the time anyway.” 

I cracked a smile at that. Poor Kakashi. 

“So should I stick with Kura for now? Until you’re ready to tell me?” Naruto asks it so casually, no expectations tied to his words. 

It’s easy to forget sometimes, just how insightful Naruto can be. 

“Yes. Thank you, Sunshine. You’re the best.” 

Naruto grins at me, chest puffing up with pride. “Of course! Naruto Uzumaki is second to none! Now come on, ramen waits for no one!” 

I huffed, smiling despite myself. We had a nice lunch together. I talked to Naruto about the difficulty of powering through the monotony of training and he talked to me about the rest of the so-called rookie nine. 

“You’re telling me that Kiba pees on people for one of his techniques?” I gaped. 

“Not just Kiba, apparently it’s all Inuzuka. I mean it makes sense. You know what your pee smells like, you can find it pretty easily. Plus their jutsu makes them spin really fast. They probably can’t see when they do it so smelling helps.” 

I scrunched my nose up. “It makes sense, but that’s still pretty gross. Is it Kiba peeing on them? Not his puppy?” 

Naruto scratched his cheek, idly chewing on a piece of chinese broccoli. “You know what? I’m not sure.” 

I rolled my eyes and took another noodle. “Have you made progress with lifting heavier stuff with that jutsu?” 

Naruto beamed. “Yeah! I can use it on myself now! But only once. It’s kind of hard to get the hang of when I’m actually in the air. I don’t think I’m going to keep trying to walk on air though. I kinda wanna focus on my traps. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to use them.” 

I perked up, wiping my chin hastily. “That reminds me! Kakashi gave me a book of home defense traps. Do you think you could modify them to use on field?” 

“Probably? Do you have the book? My traps are stuff I make on my own, but I bet I could improve whatever Kaka-sensei gave you.” 

“It’s in my apartment. Want to go after this?” Might as well show Naruto where I live, since both Sasuke and sensei know already. 

“Sure!” Naruto chirped. “I’m getting a second bowl though.” 

I snorted. “I wouldn’t expect anything less, Sunshine.” 

On the way to my apartment, we talked about our respective jutsu. I had pretty much mastered the dust clone, but I wished I knew how to make the dust cloud explode more violently. Naruto was pretty sure he got down the vacuum jutsu, but without someone to test it on, he wasn’t sure if it was strong enough to do damage. When he demonstrated for me at a random park, I had to hustle us out of there. Children’s toys and people’s lunches had come flying from a three foot radius. I almost abandoned Naruto when his laughter tripped him up before we made our real getaway, but I’m a good friend so I manhandled him into safety. 

We spent the rest of the day at my place, brainstorming things for the upcoming exam and talking about our week. I made dinner for us and sent him home with extras, reminding him to bring back my tupperware. 

Sasuke was particularly prickly the next day, scowl almost permanently etched onto his face. He wouldn’t say what Kakashi talked to him about, but he stared at us a lot more than usual. As our training session wound down, Kakashi appeared in the middle of the clearing. He clapped his hands, two dogs are his heels. 

“Good morning team!” 

“Kaka-sensei!” 

“I think I’ve aged ten years waiting for you to get here, sensei.” 

Sasuke didn’t deign to respond, his scowl taking an apprehensive edge. 

“I’m very glad to know you’ve been training together this week,” he said with a hum. “As you all know, the chunin exams officially start tomorrow. Now, us sensei had a discussion about not giving unfair advantages and to have a fair fight between teams, but fair is for samurai and idiots, so sensei’s here to make sure you’re ready for the exams.” 

Naruto whooped, throwing his arms in the air. “You’re the best Kakashi-sensei!” 

Even Sasuke started to lose the sharpness in his shoulders. Not very sportsmanlike, but I can’t say I’m not pleased. 

“What do you have in mind?” I asked curiously. 

“Weapon stocking, quick tips and tricks, some more specialized advice based on your greatest strengths, identifying biggest weaknesses, things like that,” Kakashi waved away. “Now, onto introductions.” 

The two dogs at his heel stood a little taller, tails softly wagging. They had cute jackets on and Konoha headbands. I wondered if summons held ranks the way ninja did. 

“On my left is Bisuke. Sasuke, Bisuke will accompany you today and advise you on how to improve your speed and accuracy. Towards the end of the day, he will report your weaknesses to me and together we’ll help you find solutions to them.” 

Bisuke grinned, paws tapping the earth intermittently as he looked from Kakashi to Sasuke. Kakashi nodded and Bisuke hopped up, eagerly bounding towards my teammate. He sniffed the air around him and lolled his tongue out. 

“Weird puppy. You smell like electricity and cats. Don’t worry, I’ll fix it,” Bisuke’s surprisingly warm voice said. 

Naruto made a keening noise from the back of his throat, eyes wide and wonder struck. 

“Naruto, Guruko will stick with you today. He’s a tracking and evasion specialist. He’ll help you improve on that and also report to me at the end of the day. Guruko, try not to cause property damage.” 

“Yes, boss,” Guruko yipped. 

I looked from the dogs to the boys. Why did they look alike? Guruko had practically the same whiskers as Naruto and Bisuke’s fur stood up at the end like Sasuke’s hair. 

“Sakura, today I’ll be teaching you where and when to hit an opponent. You have excellent raw strength, but I want to see you maximize the amount of damage you cause. I understand that Sasuke showed you how to enhance your strength with chakra?” 

I nodded. 

“Good. I’m going to teach you how to incorporate quick genjutsu into your taijutsu. It won’t be very strong, but it’s not meant to be. It just needs to be there for a second and most people aren’t training to stop reacting to it. Bisuke, make sure you cover multiple terrains. Guruko, you have a three mile radius. Let’s take a break in two hours, then we’ll deal with the weapons, then we’ll go back to training. We’ll discuss weaknesses when the sun starts to set. Does everyone understand?” 

“Yes, Sensei,” Naruto and I echoed. 

I glanced at Sasuke who had only nodded. He’s been really quiet today. The boys were led away by Kakashi’s nin-dogs, close enough to be seen but not enough to be heard. 

“Sensei, I’m pretty bad with abstract genjutsu.” I felt the need to warn him. 

“This won’t be abstract. It’ll be simple, and like I said, fast. With this kind of genjutsu, you don’t have to be precise. You’re letting your enemy’s brain fill in the blanks. I know you’re good with genjutsu, you’ve used it before. This won’t be much different.” 

I shifted on my feet uncertainly. “If you’re sure, Sensei. What kind of genjutsu?” 

“You’ve used audio genjutsu in a fight, haven’t you?” Kakashi asked.

I frowned. “Very few times, but yes. Audio genjutsu is easier for me to maintain than a visual one.” 

“Have you ever tried sensory? A whip of wind where you don’t expect it, a sudden burn at your enemy’s spine. Smell can work too, but it’s more finicky. You have to be very good at recognizing and envisioning smells, and they have to make sense. Especially because smell relies on sensory perception.” 

I shook my head. “No, I’ve only ever tried audio and visual. Visual takes a good amount of concentration on my part, but I can make it work on the fly in a pinch.” 

Kakashi nodded. “We’ll work on visual genjutsu then. We’ll improve your speed and accuracy. How many hand signs does it take for you to throw a general genjutsu up?” 

“Three.” The original combination was five. 

“We’re going to try and drive that number down,” Kakashi explained. “Where would you say your creativity limits you the most regarding genjutsu?”

“People,” I grimaced. “Faces especially, but arm and leg length too.” 

“I’m going to teach you how to make a genjutsu melt into your physical form. You’ll need to be able to envision it from every angle. I can show you what I mean if you think it’ll help you understand.” 

My training consisted of three parts split roughly 50/25/25. 50% Kakashi kicking my ass with an unholy mix of genjutsu and rudimentary taijutsu, 25% showing Kakashi I can recreate the same angles he can, and 25% trying not to throw up as I use that genjutsu while doing kata. It was an awful mind fuck to visualize two angles at the same time; my own and my theoretical opponent’s. I can only imagine the kind of intense feedback Kakashi got when he focused on a 180 field of view for his genjutsu. 

The hardest hurdles to jump were ignoring the pain of a building migraine and learning to find a middle ground with the angles. I had to be able to see both without focusing on one in particular. When I finally got the two angles down, Kakashi suggested trying four. One nose bleed later and I was benched from the genjutsu game. Kakashi checked up on the boys while I took a break, sitting in the shade and trying to get the world to even out. 

Fifteen minutes later, we took a break for lunch. Kakashi had Sasuke stay behind for ten minutes up in the treetops to track us with his sharingan (focusing of course on our individual chakra signaturas) and catch up to us without making too much noise. Naruto stayed behind fifteen minutes with Guruko down on the ground with instructions to memorize either my or Kakashi’s smell. 

Naruto scoffed at the instructions. “That’s easy, I know exactly what Kura smells like.” 

“That’s creepy to say, Sunshine,” I called from behind the boys, reading over Kakashi’s henge instructions. 

“It’s not my fault you use the same scent for your body wash and detergent!” He cried indignantly. 

I pressed my lips together for a moment. “You’re really not helping your case on that creepy factor.” 

“I just have a really good nose!” He defended. 

I rolled my eyes and dropped it. 

“Sensei, if I do this henge, it’ll have to be at my proportions and bone structure,” I whispered at Kakashi. “I’ve never seen who you’re describing. Remember, I’m really bad at visualization.” 

“You’ve never seen Asuma Sarutobi?” Kakashi asked in disbelief. 

“No? Should I have?” I asked with furrowed brows. 

“I thought you were best friends with one of his genin brats? In team 10.”

I tilted my head, searching my memories of graduation day. “Choji? I mean he’s cool, but we were never really friends. Oh! Oh. Yamanaka,” I grimaced. “Yeah, that bridge crashed and burned in the academy.” 

“I’m… sorry?” Kakashi winced. 

I waved away his concern. 

“I can just turn into one of my classmates' parents or something.” 

Kakashi hummed, eyes narrowed. “I need to teach you all Konoha Standard.” 

“Sign language?” I asked. 

Kakashi nodded, but said no more. He led me away from the area and told me to transform somewhere no one would see me. Unlike that time with Sasuke, he wanted us to split up. He gave me directions to the restaurant we were to meet up at, one close to the shinobi shopping district, and told me to leave before he did. A minute or so later, Guruko caught up to me. 

He chuffed at my heels. “Scent is everywhere. Hide better.”

“How? I’ve never learned how to do that.” 

Guruko’s face twitched at that. “Bad Boss,” he said simply. “Tell.” 

I furrowed my brows. “Tell boss that I don’t know how?” 

Guruko yipped, turning around and letting out a burst of air to disturb the dirt path behind me. 

“Show,” he huffed. 

“Show him that I can’t do it? Or tell him to show me how?” 

Guruko barked twice. I blinked. Does he not know how to say numbers? That seems pretty important for a tracker. I guess he still got his point across. Maybe after the exams. Guruko trailed after me the entire way, occasionally splitting off to do who knows what. I made it most of the way through the village, disguised as my old kunoichi studies teacher, before Naruto dropped down from the roofs above me. 

I threw myself to the left and rolled into the middle of the walkway, grudgingly grateful that he did it in shinobi territory. There weren’t many milling about in the middle of the street, and those who were there didn’t do more than glance our way.

“Not fair,” Naruto pouted. “Guruko was supposed to help me.” 

Guruko shook his head and pointed his paw at Naruto. “Test.” 

Naruto pouted even harder. “You’re not even going to help me find Kaka-sensei?”

To this, Guruko chose not to respond. Or maybe he didn’t have the words to express how annoyed he was at Naruto’s whining. Naruto heaved a great sigh and turned his head up to the air, delicately sniffing. I… guess? If Inuzuka can do it, why can’t Naruto. He’s probably got some summoner’s blood in him, considering the facial markings. I don’t think the Uzumaki had any contracts, but maybe whoever his dad was. I don’t think it was a dog contract because I think that might be Kakashi exclusive. 

Maybe something in the same genus. Wolves? Hyenas? Foxes? Something like that. Naruto, at some point, had crouched down to look at Guruko at an even eye level as he argued. Eventually, Guruko growled and barked sharply at him. 

“Fine!” Naruto snapped. “I didn’t want your help anyway. You’ll see, I’ll find sensei all on my own! I don’t even need you. I’m Uzumaki Naruto, the number one unpredictable knuckleheaded ninja!” 

I mouthed the title to myself, grimacing in confusion. Before I could ask, he had taken off to the rooftops again. I looked down at Guruko who was urging me to keep walking. 

I complied, but turned my question to him. “Do you have any idea where that nickname came from?” 

Guruko shook his head. I sighed. A few minutes later saw Sasuke calmly walking towards me from in front of me, hands stuffed in his pockets. 

“You found Kakashi-sensei already?” I asked in surprise. 

“The idiot decided to sabotage me, but he set off the glitter bomb on himself by accident. Kakashi had to take him to the hospital so they wash his eyes out.” 

I winced. Yep, sounds like something Naruto would do. 

“So… No lunch?” I asked. 

Sasuke sighed. “Kakashi said to order take out and meet back up at the training grounds.” 

“That’s boss to you, pup,” Bisuke grumbled from Sasuke’s back. 

I blinked in surprise, leaning over Sasuke’s shoulder to stare at the ninken. 

“No wonder your posture’s been so good. Usually you’re hunched over like you’re forty.” 

Sasuke swatted my arm. Bisuke, somehow lying flat on Sasuke’s back, crawled up a little higher and started tapping his shoulder. 

“Say it, puppy. Boss said what?” 

Sasuke scowled, but didn’t say a word. Bisuke didn’t look particularly concerned about this, his paw insistently knocking on Sasuke’s shoulder. Guruko decides that nipping on his ankles would probably help. Bisuke began to sniff closer and closer to Sasuke’s face. He opened his mouth to a pant and got even closer. 

“Fine!” Sasuke growled. “Boss said to get food and wait at the training grounds. Are you happy?!” 

Guruko and I looked at each other, and then away as we snickered. Sasuke and Naruto could be so alike sometimes. 

“Very,” Bisuke yipped, his tail brushing the back of Sasuke’s shirt as it wagged. “Well done, pup.” 

Sasuke’s hands twitched at his side as Bisuke’s nails dug into his shoulder in his quest to get into a better position. He settled onto Sasuke’s shoulder, staring intently at his hair. Sasuke’s eyes promised bloodshed. 

“Bisuke-san,” I said cautiously. “Would it be alright if you transferred over to me so Sasuke can get the food? I’m taller anyway, you’ll get a better vantage point with me.” 

Bisuke tilted his head at me for a second before he nodded. 

“This is reasonable. Guruko, stick with Sas-pup.” Bisuke neatly hopped off Sasuke, trotting over to me without can’t hurry. 

“I’ll stay with Little Boss,” he told Guruko. “And see if she can find Big Boss.” 

Was Kakashi ‘Big Boss’? Am I ‘Little Boss’? Who’s the regular Boss? Why did Bisuke make me the boss? This is weird. Sasuke seemed to agree. He looked from me to the dogs, furrowed his brows, and pressed his palms together before raising them to his lips. 

“I’ve never been trained in any facet of tracking, Bisuke-san,” I said politely. 

“I’ll direct you this time, Little Boss. Then you’ll tell me what I did to find Big Boss. I know you won’t have time to learn yet, but you’re Shi’s team, and that means you have to know the basics at least.”  

I tried not to stiffen as Bisuke walked up my front, feeling the weirdly airy feeling of his chakra stick to my clothes and skin until he reached my scalp. He wasn’t very heavy, but having a dog sit on your head like he owned it was a little disconcerting. 

“Bisuke-san, are you and Guruko-san allowed to eat human foods? I know it can be finicky with summons.” 

Bisuke’s tail wagged briefly on my head before he lifted his paw and sagely said, “A little steak never hurt anyone.” 

I’m sure my face looked disbelieving. Sasuke glanced up at him and back at me. 

“Well?” He said. 

I rubbed my temples. “Get me something with steak. If Kakashi-sensei backs that up, then I’ll give them some. If he says no deal, then no.” 

Guruko and Bisuke made small keening sounds at the back of their throats, but Sasuke was already nodding and going off towards the restaurant. 

“Get Kakashi-sensei something vegetable heavy with fish and Naruto something lean and spicy!” I called after him. 

Guruko yipped and chased after Sasuke. Bisuke patted my head with his paw. I tried not to pluck him off and carry him in my arms. I think that might be a little disrespectful to him. 

“So Bisuke-san, are you sure you want to find Kakashi-sensei and Naruto? He did say to meet at the training ground, and he’s sort of the one in charge of team seven.” 

Bisuke seemed to consider this, a deep rumble in his chest sounding out as he thought. 

“Kakashi-sensei will likely appreciate obedience and be more amenable to your request for steak,” I added for good measure. 

Bisuke resumed petting my head. “Good thinking, Little Boss. Your priorities are excellent. Let us regroup as Big Boss has asked.” 

That’s what I thought. 

“Bisuke-san, can I ask why your speech is so advanced and Guruko-san’s isn’t?” 

Bisuke hummed, another sound I’m pretty sure Guruko is not capable of replicating. 

“Speaking the way humans do is not an easy thing for us ninken,” Bisuke said. “We don’t have the vocal chords for it, most of the time. Some of us do, and some of us make up for it with excellent chakra control to simulate them. Guruko and a few others land in that second group while me and Boss—you haven’t met him yet—land in the first. Make sense?” 

“Yes, thank you.” 

Bisuke continued to rumble contently. 

Naruto and Kakashi appeared at the training ground before Sasuke did. Bisuke, who had chosen to sunbathe in my lap, perked up and wiggled free from his chosen spot. He trotted to Kakashi and sat obediently on his haunches while Kakashi leaned against a tree. Naruto wore a pout as he fell to the ground and began to empty his secondary weapons pouch. 

“It was just a fluke,” he grumbled. “Why do I have to give up all my glitter bombs? It wasn’t even that bad.” 

“Your entire eyes were glittery pink and you screamed the whole way to the hospital,” Kakashi said idly, turning a page of his porn book. “They had to do four washes to get it all out.” 

Naruto wilted. I grimaced in sympathy. That sounded absolutely awful. Some of that pink glitter was still in his hair and clothes. 

Kakashi glanced down at Bisuke. “Guruko is with Sasuke?”

Bisuke barked once in what I assume is confirmation. Kakashi nodded and turned another page. 

Sasuke and Guruko appeared in time to watch Naruto tear up as he handed his ‘babies’ away to Kakashi. I tried not to be disturbed at how large the pile really was. He had two for every color, multiple sized explosions, lots that had the words ‘high impact’ written on them, and a few that even had smells tagged onto them. It was pretty evil that he had chili powder mixed into the red glitter bombs and sulfur mixed into the yellow glitter. I think the green ones were skunk-spray infused. 

“You’ll get them back when you can tell me what went wrong with the pink one and if I say that these are stable for on-field use.” 

Naruto at least perked up a little at that. I kept staring at the fairly high stack of glitter bombs that Kakashi carefully collected. How did Naruto store them all without accidentally setting them off? They were all in one contained area, just chilling until he pulled on out and decided to use it. My stomach rumbled in protest at being ignored. I turned to Sasuke. 

“Do you want to pass the food out or should I?” 

Sasuke opened the bag to get his own food before unceremoniously dumping the rest into my arms. Let it be known that Sasuke is a very decisive person. He didn’t even wait for anyone else to have their food before he sat down and started eating. Guruko and Bisuke thumped their tails in anticipation. I sighed as I passed out the food. 

“Sensei, Bisuke-san and Guruko-san worked very hard today. Would it be okay if they had some steak?” I asked for them when it was clear neither would stop directing their puppy eyes at me. 

Kakashi hummed, curiously poking at his food. “Have they now?” 

Bisuke and Guruko’s tails began to wag even faster, although Bisuke was doing his best to look disinterested. I’m not quite sure when Kakashi managed to start chewing on a mouthful of food, but he chewed thoughtfully while he stared at his dogs. Naruto watched the exchange with wide eyes, letting out a quiet burp after he swallowed. 

“Alright,” Kakashi shrugged. “Two piece maximum for each.”

Sasuke had thoughtfully ordered a small side of unspiced steak for them, though it was about eight pieces instead of four. I’d probably just pass the extra to Naruto. Bisuke and Guruko barked happily and eagerly rushed over to me, anxiously trotting in place. I was tempted to tell them to do tricks, but I think they would just jump me and take all the food if I tried. 

“Alright, choose a spot to sit at while I divide your portions. Just steak, sensei?” Some people gave their dogs vegetables, so I’ll ask just in case. 

“Mhm,” Kakashi hummed around another mouthful of food. 

Naruto began to position himself in a better place to try and get a glimpse of Kakashi’s face. 

I opened the circular container of steak, pleased at the medium cook on it. It was weirdly hard to get anything less than well-done in this world. I picked the biggest pieces I could find and placed them a few inches in front of the dogs. Bisuke and Guruko took their time with the steak, savoring everything instead of scarfing it down like most house dogs would. 

I dug into my beef curry and ignored the dog’s intense staring. Kakashi had said two, so they got two. Seeing that I wouldn’t budge, they went to bother Naruto. I leaned against the trunk when I finished eating, tossing the takeout container to the side. I was the last to finish eating. Kakashi tucked his book into his flak jacket and stood straight. 

“Bisuke, Guruko, report. Boys, empty your weapons. Everything. I want to see what you carry day-to-day.” 

I ducked my head down when I felt a searing blush start to seep onto my face. I tried not to linger on the strange mix of embarrassment and fondness that flooded my system, both things that were easily swept away in the sheer joy of being perceived. I didn’t look at Sasuke or Naruto until Kakashi was ready to evaluate us. He started with Naruto, instantly gaining a crease between his brows. 

“Do you really only carry a dozen kunai?” Kakashi asked incredulously. 

“Shuriken are way better,” Naruto defended, gesturing to the four full braces of shuriken. 

“Get another dozen kunai. Shuriken do nothing for close-combat. Why do you have thirty feet of regular rope when you have no ninja wire?” 

It went on like this for a while. By the end of it, Kakashi had written out a list of everything Naruto should add to his weapons and sent Guruko to buy it with a blank check. It was weirdly nice of him to get it for Naruto, considering he dodged lunch bills like they’d kill him. 

“Where’s your paper tags? Smoke bombs? Have you not updated your weapons since the academy?” Kakashi asked me scathingly, picking up my weapons. 

“No?” I admitted sheepishly. “I got new clothes and some new weapons, but I didn’t really get a variety. Just the standard I was taught.”

Kakashi shook his head in disapproval and started to write a new list, already handing a blank check to Bisuke. 

“How’s your sharpening kit doing? Why don’t you carry it? I’m assuming you do usually,” he said, almost threateningly. 

“Usually!” I blurted before he could glare at me. “It’s at home, and kinda bulky cause I got the one that sharpens wire.”

Kakashi put a hand out to stop my rambling. I shut my jaw with an embarrassing little ‘click’. 

“You’re getting another holster, maybe even two. One isn’t appropriate for the amount of weapons you should have. This first aid kit is pretty good, but you could do with some numbing cream and a tourniquet. Given that taijutsu is your primary, I’m also going to recommend some gloves. You’re a hard hitter, and it’s good that you’re agile, but your reaction time could use some work. I’m going to get you some arm guards and ask that you put your headband over your brachial artery. We’ll work on it after the exams. I’m getting you two more braces of shuriken and one more of kunai and senbon.” 

I nodded and did as he asked, untying my forehead protector and grimacing at the weird emptiness that came with it. Without it? Kakashi gave Bisuke the list and sent him on his way. 

Sasuke got the least amount of criticism, unsurprisingly. The things he needed were largely first aid related and things Kakashi just took from his own stash to supplement Sasuke’s. He also handed all of us scent blockers we were meant to dab onto our major sweat glands. 

“Tomorrow, prepare as if you’re going on a mission. You’ll be competing against tracker clan kids from here and countless others you won’t know how to prepare for. You need every advantage you can get,” he said as he passed out a bunch of chapstick-like sticks. “Never think that your enemy is somehow worse than you are, no matter their age or rank. Treat them as if they always have a way to knock you down, no matter how defeated they seem. Understood?” 

We nodded. Bisuke and Guruko returned with two extremely full weapon pouches strapped to their backs. Bisuke waddled over to me while Guruko went to Naruto. 

“Now,” he drawled once he showed us where we should attach the new pouches. “It’s time to address weaknesses. Let’s start with Sasuke.” 

Kakashi’s fifteen minute lecture stunned all of us into silence. He really dug into Sasuke’s cockiness in one-on-one fights and how quick he was to advertise his sharingan. He got on his case for exclusively using one style of taijutsu (the Uchiha one, of course) when the academy taught all students four different styles (monkey, standard, fire, and burning leaf). He also gave him shit about not being able to work with Naruto without me there as a mediator. 

Sasuke’s scowl reached new levels of toxicity, but he sat there and took it seriously. When Kakashi was done, he took a deep breath and pressed his hands together. 

“Here’s what we’re going to do about that.” 

He started another long-winded lecture, but Sasuke’s scowl had turned thoughtful instead of offended. By the end of it, Sasuke was handed a small container with three soldier pills and told to use them only in emergencies. He wanted Sasuke to utilize the kawarimi and shunshin in his taijutsu when he could and recommended Sasuke invest some time into crafting a good genjutsu to hide his sharingan. 

“Why haven’t you done that, Sensei?” Naruto asked. 

Kakashi shook his head dismissively. “I’m already notorious for the sharingan, and what’s more, it constantly drains my chakra already. Adding a genjutsu on top of that just makes no sense when people expect me to have it. They’d break it within a second.” 

Since he was already facing Naruto, Kakashi decided to dig into him next. His lecture was focused on recklessness and Naruto’s tendency to wing it in fights. 

“One day, there’s going to be an opponent you can’t swarm with shadow clones. You have the potential to be a serious threat one day, but you have to think. I’m glad you’re taking your traps more seriously, but I need you to learn when to back off. Understood?” Kakashi didn’t move on until Naruto verbally agreed. 

Kakashi spent some additional time going over battle scenarios with him, highlighting the first signs of a trap and what to do if he was ever separated from Sasuke and I. He turned that topic on to Sasuke and I too, telling us that we should always have a way to find each other if we got lost. 

“Can we get matching tattoos?” I asked before I could think better of it. 

I put my hands up at the three sets of judgemental eyes I got. 

“How is that going to help us find each other?” Sasuke asked pointedly. 

I laughed nervously. “It… won’t? But wouldn’t it be cool if one of us had, like, a burning dummy or something. Then the other two of us can have either like a great fireball jutsu or like a lit paper tag.”

“Hey, Kura,” Naruto called cautiously. “How long have you been sitting on that?” 

“Not that long!” I defended myself. “Just… on and off again for the past week. Look, that idea’s better than the full back spread of matching tiger tattoos, alright?” 

“Why would you ever think we’d get matching tiger tattoos? Much less ones that take up our entire back?” Sasuke sneered in distaste. 

“I didn’t, that’s why I got rid of the thought as soon as it happened,” I said with a wave. 

“We’re getting off track. It’s your turn, Sakura,” Kakashi said gravely. 

“Awe, shit.” 

That got us all to shut up pretty quickly. I cringed almost entirely through his matter-of-fact ‘you actually suck’ tirade. He basically shit on me for expecting the world to be neat and tidy and told me I need to learn to adapt to change as it happens or I’d die first. He told me I was too one track minded and that I needed to be able to plan as the situation called for, that I shouldn’t rely on the boys to pick up my slack. He was right of course. When it came to long term planning or even battle strategies, it was always Sasuke taking charge and Naruto supplementing. I just went with it. He whipped out another book from his person and handed it to me. 

“Here’s a book of basic strategies and tactics. Don’t use them, they’re extremely predictable, but look at them and find the common points. Learn how to identify them and try to see how you can improve them. Understood?” 

I nodded meekly. “Yes, Sensei.” 

“Now, we’re going to go over good practices in general. On and off field. Sit down and make sure you’re listening.” Kakashi said with a hard undertone. 

Sitting through his advice was like sitting through the most intense academy lesson I’ve ever bore witness to. It’s worse because there are only three of us and none of us can escape. Kakashi told us ways to take a shit in a forest and not have the scent give us away to trackers. He told us how to burn a body and have the ashes naturally take the properties of charcoal instead of human remains. He taught us how to make antiseptic paste with local Konoha fauna and made sure we knew how to bleed out any animals we might catch. He told us how to wire subtle traps that couldn’t be put back the right way once they were messed with and gave us instructions on how to most effectively frame someone. 

It was like a two hour long rehash of the entire academy curriculum. My butt actually went numb somewhere along the line, but I was too invested to move. Kakashi was kind of scary when he got into this ‘down to business’ mode. When he finally finished telling us everything he wanted to, he only took a minute for us to process everything. 

“Get stretching, we’re doing a final taijutsu eval, then we’re running an obstacle course. Get to it,” he clapped his hands. 

What followed was the worst shit I’ve ever gone through, and that includes almost getting beheaded by Zabuza. Kakashi made the boys fight me two on one since I had the best taijutsu out of the three of us (somehow). I was able to power through most of Naruto’s clones and was able to decommission Naruto eventually, but Sasuke had taken to Kakashi’s advice like a fish to water. The end of our taijutsu match became a convoluted game of parkour tag. 

I only won because Kakashi forced Sasuke to face me one on one. Sasuke is the fastest of us, undefeated reigning champ, and his taijutsu is nothing to sneeze at. He’s really fucking good at it actually. His hits almost always connect and he’s hard to pin because he knows how to make himself small. The reason I’m technically the better fighter is because my style is unpredictable and I always take kill shots. 

Sasuke’s about wearing you down over time whereas I’m about knocking you out from the get go. Kakashi called the match when I had Sasuke shoved face first into the ground with a kunai at his jugular. 

“You got too into it, Sakura,” he chided mildly as he helped Sasuke up. 

I looked at his bleeding nose and winced. “I’m sorry, Sasuke.” 

He waved my apology away, carefully holding his nose in the right position and letting his chakra glow green. Kakashi observed with his sharingan alight. 

“Let me do it,” I said guiltily. “It’s harder to tell if you’ve got it right with your own chakra.” 

Sasuke stilled as I cradled his face, closing my eyes to map out his blood vessels and the bones within. It was like slotting together a complex puzzle. Honestly, it was like a high-stakes operation (the board game). I couldn’t mess up or else I’d blow out the cartilage in Sasuke’s nose. It took me longer than I thought it would, but I wasn’t satisfied until everything was at least held together by new bone growth. Extremely delicate and brittle bone growth, but it was a start. I moved my hands slowly. 

“Don’t touch it,” I warned. “Heal the rest when the swelling’s gone down.” 

Sasuke hummed, glowing green hands gently hovering over the tissue. 

“Not bad,” he said reluctantly. 

Kakashi looked between us. “When did you two learn to fix bone? That’s not something you’re supposed to be able to do without guidance.”

“I got guidance,” Sasuke protested. “From a book I read a few weeks ago.” 

“I also got guidance,” I said vaguely. From a book about four years ago, but it sounded easy and it was. 

It was like using chakra to act as both the thread and glue, then as vitamins to boost the system. Easy peasy. 

“After these exams,” Kakashi said with a slightly disbelieving tone. “I’m taking you both to get an aptitude test from the hospital head. Sage wept, I think I have two mini Tsunade’s.”

Sasuke and I looked at each other, but it was hard to take Sasuke seriously when he had a trail of blood decorating his upper lip. 

“See? We’re awesome,” is what I said. 

Naruto jumped up from where he was patiently waiting. “Neh, I want to be awesome too! Am I like Jiji or something?!” 

 

Kakashi seemed to consider this. “Nah. You’re more like… a fungus. You grow on people and occasionally make them nauseous and wonder what they’re tripping on.” 

I snorted. That’s such a valid description of Naruto. Naruto whined about it of course, but Kakashi told us we only had ten more minutes of down time before we went to the obstacle courses by the jonin HQ. This was a different kind of hell than sparring. Normally it isn’t a huge deal. All three of us are pretty agile and bendy, and Naruto can confidently lose a chunin on his tail any day of the week. 

He did the best out of all three of us, but doing the best didn’t mean he did perfectly. We all came out of it with bite marks and dog slobber littering our legs. Bisuke and Guruko did not go easy on us. They nipped at our heels at the beginning, encouraging us to go faster. Then, when they’d forced us into a sprint, they started getting in our way and forcing us to take difficult paths. Once they got bored of that, they went into attack mode. I think Bisuke hung on Naruto’s hand for a solid fifteen seconds before Naruto got him off. 

I rubbed my aching back and tried not to hold it against Guruko. He’d accidentally bitten too hard and drew blood, the first and only of the evening, and it still hurt. 

“Just heal it,” Sasuke said, quite reasonably. 

“No,” I said back, a little petulant sounding. “I can’t just chakra heal things that’ll heal quickly on their own. That’ll make my body weak and start to rely on it. Self sabotage is not accepted on this team.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but he stopped arguing. He also noticeably didn’t heal his own bumps and bruises. That’s how you know he thinks you’re right. 

We get something cheap for dinner and split up with promises of meeting up by the academy. Kakashi tells us he’ll see us before the first exam starts and to make sure we take his advice. I think he might have made a money bet on these exams. At the end of the day, all that’s left is prep work. I eat, bathe, and settle down to review the academic part of shinobi life. Outside of that, there isn’t much for me to do. 

I rise with the sun the next day, too anxious to get more sleep than necessary. I shower and make sure to prepare the way I would for an out of village mission. I put on a dark red long sleeve and black shorts. After some hesitation, I chose to put on my steel-toed boots. Kakashi’s investment in arming us actually had me a little nervous. What if we were taken out of the village for the exam? No, it wouldn’t make sense. I strapped everything in place and made sure everything in my house was in order. 

The hours crawled by slowly, but eventually it was time for me to meet up with my team. The village bustled with life, merchants shouting prices and haggling with foreign customers. There were other shinobi heading towards the academy. It’s a little weird to me that this is where the exams are held, but I guess there’s no better defended place than it. 

Naruto and Sasuke are already there when I arrive. Sasuke’s leaning against the fence like the whole thing is a bother and Naruto’s anxiously rocking on his heels. 

“Good morning,” I called out hesitantly. 

Sasuke nods at me while Naruto turns his body in a flash. 

“Kura!” He cries. “What if this test is about facts? I have a really bad memory.” 

I put my hands on his shoulders and held him still. 

“You are not dumb,” I tell him confidently. “You’re airheaded sometimes, but you’re smart. You can do this.” 

Naruto took a couple of deep breaths and nodded. 

“Yeah. Yeah! I’m Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage! I can do this!” He declared. “Thanks, Kura.” 

I pat his shoulder before stepping back. 

“Are we all ready to go?” I ask. “No one‘s missing anything?”

“Ready,” Naruto confirmed. 

Sasuke took the time to look through his things before he nodded at me. 

“Alright. We need to confirm our attendance at room 301 before we’re allowed to take the exam. I’m assuming you guys still know how to get there?” 

“Yeah!” 

“It’s only been a few months,” Sasuke scoffed. 

“Just making sure. If there’s nothing else, then let’s go.”

We gave each other a final look before we headed into the Academy. I was almost expecting to hear high-pitched laughter echoing down the halls, but there was only the low murmur of other chunin hopefuls. We climb up the stairs without another team joining us. It sets off alarm bells in my mind as soon as I notice, and I endeavor to cycle my chakra to see if we’re somehow in a genjutsu. Maybe it’s part of the test? Or maybe it’s sabotage from another team. Naruto tries to walk off on the second floor, but I grab him and shake my head. I send a burst of my chakra to his and he blinks in confusion. 

“What was the genjutsu?” He asks in a hushed voice. “Everyone’s really there.” He juts out his thumb to the group of genin in front of a desk with some chunin. 

“That’s not room 301, it’s 201. The genjutsu was just on the numbers. Subtle, but meant to waste your time.” 

We looked into the room in time to see one of the Konoha genin get flung back by one of the chunin’s kicks. I winced in sympathy and tugged Naruto back to the stairs, but he didn’t budge. 

“Leave it,” Sasuke said. “It’s part of the test. They should know better.”

The genin lifts his head from the floor and makes eye contact with us, his eyes snapping to Sasuke in interest. 

“He’s not really hurt,” I said, flattening my lips. “He looks like he’s about to do something stupid. Let’s go before we’re dragged into it.” 

I don’t give the boys a chance to protest and push them in front of me. I hurry them up the stairs to the real third floor and breathe a sigh of relief. I relaxed too soon though. The boys and I turned our heads almost at the same time when we heard more footsteps follow us up. It was the genin who’d gotten kicked across the room and his team. 

“Uchiha Sasuke!” He cried. “You were indeed clever to see past the trick and move on so surely, as is to be expected of last year’s rookie of the year!”

I felt my hackles rise immediately and stepped closer to Sasuke. I couldn’t keep the scowl off my face if I tried. 

“Hey!” Naruto shouted. “That wasn’t even teme, that was ‘Kura! Get it right, Bushy Brows!” 

“Sasuke!” The so-dubbed Bushy Brows bowled on. Heh. Bowled. He has a bowl cut. Not the time. “Fight me! I wish to see how I compare to a natural genius like you!” 

Sasuke’s shoulders hardened as he jutted out his chin. 

“I will smear you like a fucking bug if you fuck this test up before it even starts, do you understand?” I hissed, but I wasn’t sure who I said it towards. 

Sasuke turned his head to glare at me from the corner of his eyes. “He just challenged me to a duel.” 

“I’m telling you to drop it,” I said. “If he tries to fight you when you’ve clearly decided to walk away, you still don’t get to fight him by yourself. Me and Naruto are jumping him with you. Fucking ridiculous.” 

Sasuke tilted his head, gave Bushy Brows a once over, and shrugged. 

“Boss said no,” he said at the strangers casually. 

I blinked. Please don’t tell me that’s sticking.

“Now you’re making me sound like a fucking mob boss, that’s not cool,” I chided. 

“Boss has spoken!” Naruto crowed. “No deal, Bushy Brows!”

I rubbed my temples in annoyance. “What he means to say is that your proposition is extremely inconsiderate and impulsive on your part. You demanded my teammate to fight you without so much as an introduction and expected to be catered to when this is a professional setting we all have stakes in. Do you understand why your request has been denied?” 

The green-clad teenager hung his head and mumbled out a response. I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled again, scuffing his sandal against the tile a little. 

“I’m sorry…?” I prompted. 

Naruto let out a little ‘ooh, ‘Kura’s mad’ from behind me. 

“I’m sorry, Kura?” He tried with a wince. 

“No. Haruno Sakura,” I said. “Sakura-san to you. Your name?” 

Mister Bowl Cut’s cheeks flamed. “Rock Lee. These are my teammates Neji and Tenten.” 

I hummed, letting my eyes scan them. The girl seemed sheepishly embarrassed, but the boy had this look on him that made me angry all over again. He looked like Sasuke in the academy. Arrogant as hell and holier than thou. I dipped my head in greeting to the girl, who I assumed was Tenten, and let my eyes glaze past Neji.

“I wish we could have met under better circumstances, Lee,” I said coolly. “The apology you owe is not for me, it’s for the one you disrespected. As far as I’m concerned, all will be settled once that happens.” 

I turned to Sasuke before the silence lingered. “Is this agreeable?” 

His face looked mild, bordering on disinterested, but I could see the satisfied glint in his eye. 

“It is,” he demurred, as if he was actually reasonable and not a little hellion. 

Lee bowed. “Your teammate is truly wise! It was very unyouthful of me to corner you and demand a fight. I apologize, Sasuke-san.” 

“Yosh! What a youthful display of camaraderie! So inspiring that this confrontation did not come to blows! How amazing to see the care between teammates! It’s all so… so… youthful!” 

I turned slowly, eyes resting on a tortoise in the hallway. That wasn’t always there, was it? Naruto came to hand over my shoulder to stare at it with wide eyes. 

“Woah! Is this like one of Kaka-sensei’s summons?” 

“Indeed!” Lee smiled from behind us, quarrel forgotten. “This is Gai-sensei’s beloved summon, and in fact, Gai-sensei is there with her!” 

I turned back to the tortoise dubiously. Tenten made a high-pitched sound from the back of her throat. 

“It is true!” The tortoise crooned as it enveloped in smoke. 

As it cleared, an adult version of Lee appeared beside the tortoise. Naruto and I looked from the sensei to Lee. 

“Is that your dad?” I asked with confusion. 

Usually parents just take their kids as apprentices instead of taking a whole team. Naruto nodded along with me. 

“Bushier Brows,” he said. 

I had to admit, the nicknames fit. Bushy Brows was bowl-cut Jr and Bushier Brows was bowl-cut Sr.

“They’re not related,” Tenten said as Lee and Gai-sensei tearfully hugged. “Just… very youthful?” 

“That makes no sense,” Sasuke deadpanned. 

“I vote that we go into the hall and leave this mess here,” I said helpfully. 

“Seconded,” Sasuke said without hesitation. 

“Awe, man,” Naruto whined. “I kinda wanna see what happens. Plus we have to wait for Kakashi-sensei.”

“Wait for me to what?” Kakashi asked disinterestedly as he turned a page in his book and walked closer to us from who knows where. 

Gal’s head snapped towards Kakashi like a honed lazar. Even Lee seemed to stop being showered in sunshine and rainbows when he noticed sensei walk into the room. He slunk away from Gai subtly and went back to his teammates. That didn’t bode well. 

“Eternal rival!” Gai boomed. “So these are your precious little genin! We shall see who has trained with the spirit of youth at today’s exams!” 

“I’m literally just as tall as his students, except the one with a stick up his ass,” I murmured so only Naruto and Sasuke would hear. 

Naruto snickered and held out his fist. I smirked and bumped it with mine. Naruto’s such a good bro. Sasuke wasn’t as cool, but he actively had on his ‘im laughing at you’ face, so I counted that as a win. Kakashi, being part dog, turned to pin me with a judging glare. 

I raised a brow. “Tell me I’m wrong,” I said at normal volume. 

“I’m not saying anything,” Kakashi sing-songed. 

That’s practically agreement. I grinned. 

“You totally think I’m right.” 

Naruto and Sasuke nodded sagely by either one of my sides. 

“I haven’t said a single word to indicate that.” 

It’s important to note that Gai hasn’t stopped ranting this entire time. 

“Kakashi!” He cried. “I challenge you to-“ 

“Man all that shouting’s getting on my nerves,” Naruto whined. “Sensitive ears, y’know?” 

It was my turn to nod. 

“You get used to it,” Kakashi said as he flipped another page and giggled. 

“I hope we don’t have to,” Sasuke said under his breath. 

I held out my fist towards him and shook it a little when he just stared at it. He rolled his eyes and delicately met my knuckles with his. I grinned. 

“Hmm, did you say something?” Kakashi hummed when Gai pointed righteously at him. 

Gai cried out and pressed his palms against his chest before curling over a little. 

“So hip!” He cried through clenched teeth. “So cool! Such an attitude!” 

“Yeah let’s fucking get out of here, I’m going to throw up if I keep watching this,” I said. 

“See you, Sensei!” Naruto waved. 

Kakashi waved back halfheartedly. The exam was in one of the large classrooms. I held the door open for Sasuke and Naruto and was surprised by the amount of genin in the room. I’m not sure why. I knew, logically, that this was technically an international event, but I was still surprised to see the wide variety of people present. Naruto wandered a little further in, thoughtfully taking in his environment. It was only Sasuke who stayed close to me, chin ducked close to his neck as he stared something down. 

I looked at where he was staring and saw an older Konoha teenager who was speaking to some of our former classmates. 

“Something wrong?” I whispered, looking for signs of trouble. 

“The cards he’s showing them,” he murmured back. “They have mission stats for… many people. Me, the Kazekage’s kids, the team he’s showing. It feels sketchy.” 

I blinked in surprise. “You can see that from here?” I asked even more quietly. 

Sasuke tapped his temple and I nodded in understanding. 

“Show me?” I asked. 

Sasuke turned his head to me. “Don’t resist.”

I nodded and let his chakra capture mine. Instantly my vision was overtaken by a hyper focused lens. I let myself process what Sasuke had seen and wondered what this meant. This was either a plant that was part of the test or something was severely wrong in our intelligence department. 

“Go keep track of Naruto,” I breathed when Sasuke brought me out of the genjutsu. “Don’t make a scene. I’m going to speak to Sensei.” 

Sasuke nodded and wove through the crowd seamlessly, attaching himself to Naruto’s side and quietly letting him know the gist of what was going on. Naruto’s eyes drifted to me questioningly. I nodded at him and stepped outside the hall, tense despite seeing Kakashi sway his hips as he played roshambo with Gai. 

“Sensei,” I called, clenching clammy hands at my side. “Can I talk to you please? It’s personal.”

Kakashi threw out scissors to Gai’s paper. 

“I win again,” he said, eyes crinkling shut with a smile. “Give me a second, my cute little student needs Sensei’s guidance.”

I turned and went further down the hall, hoping to avoid curious eyes and spying ears. 

“What’s wrong, Sam?” Kakashi asked quietly. 

“There’s a Konoha genin in there that has intel he shouldn’t. Foreign intel he shouldn’t and home turf in for that’s definitely restricted. Is he part of the exams?” I said as quietly as I could, aware that Kakashi’s hyper-sensitive ears would catch it. 

His eye hardened and he ran through a series of hand signs before pressing his palm to the wall. 

“What information does this genin have?” He asked in a hush voice. “What does he look like?” 

“Between 5’8 and 5’10. Late teens, gray hair, circular glasses. Sasuke gave me his sharingan-aided memory of it if you want to pull me into a genjutsu-scape to see yourself. He had general mission info with power estimates at the bottom of these cards.” 

Kakashi pulled his headband up for only a second and dragged me into a genjutsu we could both manipulate. I took a deep breath and focused on what Sasuke had shown me. It was a little blurry around the edges. I focused on the suspicious teenager rather than the other genin that were in the room and hoped it wouldn’t be too important. Eventually Kakashi dropped the genjutsu. 

“Good catch. Proceed cautiously, do not engage, give no indication of suspicion. I’m going to talk to a few people. If this seems dangerous, I’ll send a summons to tell you to pull out of the exams. Either Bisuke or Pakkun, he’s a pug. Don’t draw attention to yourselves. Understood?” Kakashi asked seriously. 

“Yes, sir,” I nodded. 

“Good. Take these. Give one to Naruto and one to Sasuke. They’re knockout tags, just in case. Take care of yourselves.” 

“Thank you, Sensei.” 

Kakashi’s hand hovered over my head for a second before he pulled me in for a quick hug. He nodded and disappeared in a plume of smoke. I squared my shoulders and tried to act braver than I felt. I gave myself another second to compose myself before I returned to the hall and found the boys. I don’t look in the direction of the silver-haired young man Sasuke alerted me to. I sat next to Naruto and gave him a smile when he glanced my way. 

“Hey, Sakura!” Choji says with good cheer. 

I feel my nerves dance like they’re being hit by a cattle prod. Still, I calm myself down and turn towards my favorite academy classmate. 

“Hello Choji,” I smile, though I’m paranoid now and wonder if I’m transparent enough to fail this early. “It’s good to see you again. How’s your training gone? Do you like your Sensei?” 

“It’s been good!” Choji smiled widely around a chip. “Asuma-sensei’s really cool, even though he makes us train a lot.” 

“That’s good to hear.”

I’m content to let the conversation drop with that. I nod towards Shikamaru and push aside my complicated feelings to do the same for Ino. 

“Can we sit closer to the windows?” I asked Naruto and Sasuke, my eyes demanding acceptance. 

“Sure, Sa-chan,” Naruto said mildly. 

Sasuke’s already walking towards them. Naruto helps me up while we distance ourselves a little. 

“So what’s up?” He asks with suspiciously narrowed eyes. 

“Take these, hide them on you,” I said under my breath as I gave them the knockout tags Kakashi had given me. “For emergencies. Put it on your enemy and they’re fast asleep. Emergencies, okay? Naruto, how good’s your poker face?”

Naruto scrunched his nose up and tucked the tag into his jacket. “Not very.” 

I looked at Sasuke. He shook his head. 

“Alright,” I sighed. “That makes this harder, but just follow Sasuke and I’s lead. Can you do that?” 

“You got it, Kura. Is it really bad?”

“I don’t know.” 

Sasuke pressed his lips together grimly. Before we could settle on it, we were distracted by the sound of someone violently choking on bile. Our heads snapped to the center of the room where a genin from a village I’ve never seen sneered down at the suspicious genin. I think he says something to him, but his face is covered in bandages and everyone in the room is gossiping already. 

“Be quiet,” a voice booms out from nothingness. 

Our attention is drawn to a ridiculously big man at the front of the classroom. 

“My name is Ibiki Morino,” the scarred man rumbles. “I’ll be the proctor for the first exam.” 

The classroom falls into a hush. Everyone is watching him, but my eyes still trail to the silver-haired teen. He’d gotten up and rejoined those who must be his teammates. He isn’t looking at Ibiki, but rather studying the rest of the genin. I force my eyes back to the front. I can’t be obvious. 

“I’ll call your names and a number with a letter. That is your assigned seat. When everyone is seated, I’ll explain the premise of the exam.” 

I waited patiently until my name was called. My seat was close to the front of the classroom. I was in row three about four seats in. It took a while for Sasuke and Naruto to be called, both having last names that start with the letter U. Naruto sat in row one in the second most close seat to the aisle. Sasuke was assigned a seat in the middle of row six. Ibiki dropped off an exam paper at every desk while he explained the rules. 

“This is the written portion of your exam. There are ten questions written on the paper, nine of which I expect you to answer within 45 minutes. Each question is worth 3 points. As a team, you need a total of 57 points to pass. The tenth question will be verbally stated and you will be asked to make a choice when it comes. Any participant found cheating will earn a check mark towards their team. Three check marks to a team, and the entire squad is disqualified. There better not be any questions, because I won’t answer them.” 

Ibiki strolled back to the front of the classroom casually. He held a small stopwatch in his hands and clicked the button before putting it down. He leaned against the desk and looked at us blankly. No one moved an inch. 

“Well?” He asked in annoyance. “Your time is ticking.”

I flipped the paper over and scribbled my name at the top, eyes jumping from question to question. Most of it was math based. I blew through those easily. The reading comprehension questions took me a little longer, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. The history questions were written in court-style language, but otherwise understandable. The remaining questions were subjective and open ended. Kakashi’s strategy book quickly proved itself a great boon. 

As soon as I finished writing my last answer, I flipped the exam over and started doodling on the back. I let Ibiki’s call-outs wash over me and wasted no energy on the teams that filtered out of the exam room. Eventually, the stop watch beeped. 

“It’s time for the tenth question,” Ibiki said gravely. “There is a stipulation to this. If anyone on your team answers this question incorrectly, your team will be disqualified and banned from taking the next three chunin exams. No exceptions. I’m going to give you three minutes to decide if you really think you’re ready for this. Think about what you’re risking. Think about how you did on this exam. You must decide if the risk outweighs the potential benefit.”

I rested my head on my chin, idly watching the room. The exam wasn’t that hard, so I don’t expect many people to give in. I’m surprised when I see four hesitant hands rise. Naruto is clenching his teeth at the front of the class. As if he could feel my gaze, he tilted his head to look at me. He looked almost ashamed. I shook my head at him and glared.  He fisted his hands and ducked his head back down, foot anxiously tapping at the ground. He took a deep breath as another team left the classroom, but the timer beeped again before he could do anything. He let his breath out in one huge ‘woosh’ and slumped forward, his head cradled in his hands. 

“Those of you who chose to remain pass,” Ibiki said simply. 

For a second, my chin slipped out of my hand. I caught myself before I face planted onto the desk. 

“What?!” Naruto screeched, standing up. “What the hell was the point of this exam?!” 

“Risky gambles have risky outcomes,” Ibiki shrugged. “If you risked cheating, you risked your team failing. If you risked staying, you risked your team getting banned from future exams. These are the kind of decisions you’ll have to make out in the field. Congratulations to those of you who remain.” 

The room was stunned silent for a moment before everyone shouted in outrage. I stood from my seat and hopped down to Naruto, grinning at the doodles on the back of his test. Great minds. 

“See, told you it’d be fine, Sunshine.” 

Naruto looked at me doubtfully. “You didn’t know this was going to happen.” 

“Nope!” I grinned. “But it worked out, so everything's okay.” 

Naruto huffed and deflated. “This was the worst.”

The window near Ibiki’s desk shattered as a woman came swinging in. I blinked at her shock of purple hair and rather skimpy outfit. Mesh shirt, no bra? That woman was brave. 

“I think it’s about to get worse,” Sasuke supplied helpfully when he reached us. 

“Nice one liner,” I complimented. 

Sasuke clearly didn’t appreciate it. He didn’t even bother responding, just turned his head the other way and glared out into the distance. Rude. 

“Sixteen teams? Not bad Ibiki! I’ll be sure to carve that number down,” The woman cackled. “Meet me at training grounds 44 for the next part of the exam!” 

“Isn’t training grounds 44 the Forest of Death?” I asked. 

“Why would we have a forest called the Forest of Death?” Naruto questioned right back. “That’s creepy.”

“Because it’s creepy,” I drawled. “It’s full of Lord First’s crazy chakra experiments and the animals that leeched off the ambient chakra they caused.”

Naruto shuddered. “Really? Why would he do that?” 

“I don’t know, maybe I should get a ouija board to ask.”

“What’s a-“

“Stop wasting time,” Sasuke cut him off. “Let’s go.”

“Sheesh, bossy. Fine.” 

We don’t have a death wish, so we went out through the stairwell we came in from. Some of the genin were fearless or stupid enough to follow crazy lady through the window she shattered. Sasuke led the way since he was the only one of us to actually know where to go. Most of the teams were already there and taking advantage of the time to rest in a nice patch of grass. It seemed like a good idea, so I chose a sturdy tree and tried to melt into it. 

Sasuke and Naruto are good teammates, so they stuck close to me and made sure no one tried to talk to us. Man, these kids are great. I let a small smile curl my lips up and rested while I could.

Notes:

I hope this wasn’t in the realm of being *too* long. Sorry if it was!

16 teams instead of 26:

Sasuke doesn’t make a big deal about the genjutsu, so a few of those teams just stay arguing with Kotetsu and Izumo and miss the exams.

Naruto also doesn’t give his nindo speech and inspire a bunch of scaredy cats into staying in the exams. So, 16

About Neji: Neji has a resting bitch face, but he also has an extreme superiority complex. Sam instantly hates him and the feeling is mutual bc the only person allowed to talk down to Lee is Neji. That’s his loser, yk?

The cutoff: if it seems abrupt, it is. I suck at ending chapters on a good day, especially on monsters like this one

What happened after Sam reported the incident with the Kazekage’s kids: stuff! Things! Things Sam won’t notice because he’s still a genin and not the most observant of them. Things that are happening right now without him knowing! Things others have noticed because they’re observant like that

Like who? Sasuke. Sasuke knows something’s up. Who else? *shikamaru*

Shikamaru hasn’t seen his dad this stressed since he found out they were giving Kakashi a team.

Also Kiba but he’s a wild card rn and I don’t think I’m going to explore his pov

Does this mean I’m exploring Sasuke/Shika’s povs? 🤭 maybe just a little. Maybe

You know what you do get? AN INO POV IN SHADOWED

Yw

Anyway it’s 1 am and I’m rambling bc I’m high off finishing this 11,200 word chapter

Is anyone confused? Does anyone need more context to something? Did I make a glaring plot hole and not realize??

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK AND WHAT YOU SEE DAMMIT

Alright. I’m chill. I’m cool. Fresh. Bona Noche! Thank you for reading :D

Chapter 25: Forest of Death; Day One

Summary:

Sam realizes the forest of death is much worse than Australia.

“Listen up, runts!” The woman bellowed. Her jacket is flying in the nonexistent wind and a snake is curled at the base of her neck. “My name is Mitarashi Anko and I’ll be your proctor for the second portion of the exams!” 

She, like Ibiki, introduced herself while passing out some papers. 

“What I’m giving you brats is a contract stating that you understand the risk of entering these exams,” she grinned wickedly. “Basically saying you know you’ll probably die and aren’t coming into this thinking this is all sunshine and rainbows. More than half of you will probably die, be it by a ravenous plant or animal in the forest, or by a competitor that’s just better than you. Oh! Maybe you’ll die of your own incompetence!” 

She giggled a little and sighed wistfully. “I wish I could see it up close.” 

I took the contracts she offered my team gingerly and made the boys back away from Ms. Crazy. She didn’t miss this, obviously, and gave me a little smirk as she moved on. I narrowed my eyes at her and tried to make myself bigger to cover my boys. People like her made for great characters, but not real people. It was like a more blood thirsty Harley Quinn stepped into my life and threatened to bomb my loved ones just because she thought it’d be funny. 

I don’t stop tracking her until she’s at least three yards away from us. I finally turn to the contract—it’s long winded and full of small print—and start to read. The boys are already signing their names on the dotted line. I roll my eyes and skim section to section. There’s an outline of every known chakra beast and plant near the middle of the contract. 

“Sas, can you memorize this section?” I ask quietly, framing it with my hands. 

Sasuke looks at my contract for a second and nods. I scan the rest of the contract and try to catch sight of anything that could be useful. I’m going to sign it, obviously, but I’d rather know what horrors are waiting for me than going in blind. There’s a section of highly poisonous plants and animals with an asterisk warning that these are only the fatal ones and not all of the catalog. I have Sasuke memorize that too. I don’t find anything else that might be useful and scrawl out my signature on the line. Anko hasn’t started collecting them back, but she’s staring at a stop watch like it just shat in her yard, so I can only assume there’s some sort of legal time limit she has to follow. 

“Neh, what do you think a hollow dart frog is?” Naruto asks as he reads over the list of fatal animals. 

“Well a regular dart frog is a poisonous species of rainforest frog,” I drawl. “Best case scenario it’s a fatally poisonous frog that lives in hollow trees or plants or something.” 

“Worst case?” Sasuke asked. 

“Worst case it somehow spits out darts on top of being poisonous to touch,” I shrug. 

This world had a dry sense of humor and enjoyed naming things as literally as they could. Naruto shivered and even Sasuke’s face pulled into a frown. 

“You have one minute to make up your minds, brats!” Anko barked. “In the meantime, I’ll explain what this exam expects of you.” 

She found a large boulder and hopped onto it so everyone had their eyes on her. 

“This exam is a five day survival test!” She boomed, her voice amplified by whatever jutsu Iruka-sensei liked to use when someone was in trouble. “You’ll be given one of two scrolls. One labeled ‘Heaven’ or one labeled ‘Earth’. Your goal is to get one of each and carry it to the tower in the center of the forest. If you get there before your five day limit is up, congrats! You have time to relax and get to sleep inside a building that’s only as dangerous as the enemies you manage to make. If you fail to reach the tower within the five day limit, you will fail the exam. Obviously. If you attempt to open the scrolls before you reach the tower, you’ll be knocked out and disqualified. Killing others is fully allowed. Encouraged, even! Makes for wonderful entertainment for us proctors.” 

Anko coughed and tried to smother her grin. “Each team will be given one flare. If you decide this is scarier than you thought it’d be, you can set that sucker off and some of our proctors on stand-by will rock-paper-scissors to get your sorry asses. Anyone who fails to use their flare upon hearing the end-of-exam signal will be left in the forest, assumed dead! So don’t lose it, you hear me?! Alright. Now that that’s out of the way, listen up for your team name so you can collect a scroll at either Tent A or Tent B. Don’t make me repeat myself!” 

Anko’s general existence has me questioning Konoha’s standard practice laws. A cop as clearly deranged as her would have been decommissioned in a heartbeat, but here no one even bat an eye. Don’t they do mental health screenings here? If not, that explains why Sasuke was allowed into a military academy at all. He really should have been put into intense therapy and let to distance himself from bloodshed. 

“Sorry for all the times I called you scary, Kura,” Naruto whispered as he watched Anko with wide eyes. “Thanks for not threatening me with a kunai everytime I annoyed you.” 

I narrowed my eyes at Anko. She indeed had a knife pressed to the throat of a genin–Kiba Inuzuka in fact–and was going on a long-winded rant about the truth of shinobi life and how brats like him are the first to die in things like this. I rolled my eyes. He’s an heir, but the Inuzuka are known for being more unhinged than the rest of the Konoha clans. Who knows if she’ll even get reprimanded for this. I doubt it. I zoned out until Sasuke dragged me up. Naruto was already heading to Tent B. Sasuke and I rushed to catch up. 

“I vote we let Naruto carry it,” I whispered to Sasuke. “Let’s have him trap it and keep it in his jacket or something.” 

He tilted his head and nodded. Naruto received the scroll while Sasuke and I signed some additional paperwork in the tent. It was mainly along the lines of ‘I acknowledge that I received this scroll and understand that what happens next is my responsibility’. Since the chunin wasn’t really paying attention anyway, I also signed for Naruto. Sasuke and I hurried him out and found a tree to take cover behind while we explained why we wanted him to hold onto the scroll, which happened to be an earth scroll. Naruto nodded seriously. 

“There’s not a huge amount of teams here, so we don’t have time to start now. I think we should find cover high into the trees and do what we can trap wise with the scroll before we keep moving towards the tower. I’m sure a bunch of teams will be prowling the gates to pick off unsuspecting genin or those dumb enough to stay there for long,” I huffed. 

“Let’s dead sprint for ten or fifteen minutes before heading up,” Sasuke said. “We’ll cover enough ground to avoid those looking for fights right off the bat. Then we climb into the Hashiramas and deal with the scroll.” 

Naruto nodded, slipping the scroll into his jacket in the meantime. Anko began to assign each team to a different gate leading into the forest. I fiddled with my weaponry and tried not to be too obvious about my mounting anxiety. Even though Kakashi did his best, and honestly, it was a very good display, I still felt woefully unprepared. The gap between me and a chunin felt… insurmountable. Maybe it only felt that way because I don’t know any actual chunin. I only know one jounin, as accomplished and renowned he is. What if I’m grossly overestimating chunin manpower? What if I’m just horribly behind in every facet and Kakashi was only sheltering me because he felt bad about my constant emotional crisis? That can be applied to any of us. Oh God. What if it applies to all of us? I bit the inside of my cheek and tried to slap the insecurity away. 

So what if we’re not chunin ready? This test would help us determine if we’re near the scale at all or if we need to improve a lot more than we thought. Home turf, I reminded myself seriously. So what if there was a very real threat of death? Been there, done that, come out on top. If you only had one shot, one opportunity. Not the time to be quoting Eminem. Or is it? 

“Team Sakura!” Anko barked. 

My head shot towards her, eyes bugging a bit. Team Sakura? Excuse me?! Naruto giggled and Sasuke had this annoying little smirk that told me–yes, it was entirely intentional on their part. I scowled at both of them and walked faster towards the gate we’d been assigned. For its part, gate twenty-eight stood proudly, eerie in the way only rusted metal links can be. Just beyond it, a squirrel blinked its third eye at me before digging underground like a mole . I shivered and tried not to think of Chernobyl. 

“We all just saw that thing tunnel down into the great unknown, right?” Naruto asked, his voice wobbly in disbelief. 

It’s nice to know I’m not stress hallucinating. It’s horrible to know that that thing really exists and actively lives in Konoha. Sasuke grimaced in agreement. We had to deal with this shit for five days. God help us all. The nerves of this whole situation ticked me the wrong way. I wasn’t even a practicing catholic anymore, hadn’t been in nearly twenty eight years counting this life, but I found myself sending a prayer to the big guy. Just in case. 

I let out a breath as I lifted my hand to my forehead. In the name of the father , I thought, gently lowering my hand to my heart. The son , from the left to the right, and the holy spirit . I pressed my hands together and bowed my head. Please watch upon us, protect us from those who wish us harm, forgive our sins as we forgive those who sin against us . 

I felt my pulse start to slow and took another deep breath. Watch upon us in our time of need, taking action only as you see fit, and send good will our way. Care for us as we care for our own . Protect my brothers in spirits, in arms. Pave a just path for us to follow as best we can and give us strength in our moments of weakness. In and out, my breathing evened out. I wrapped my prayer up and let my hands fall down to my side, gently blinking away the small drops of moisture that gathered in my eyes. I looked at the forest with new eyes. It would be difficult, of course, but it wasn’t monumental. It was a blurb in the story, something that would lead to a path of improvement regardless of what the outcome was. 

Naruto looked over at me, a small crease furrowing his brows. No, not at me. I followed his eyes to where Sasuke knelt on the grass. His eyes were slid shut, but there was an almost-red tint to his eyelids. I can only assume he had his sharingan activated. His lips moved silently and I nodded in understanding. He too was praying. I moved aside to give him some space and let myself lean against Naruto. He opened his mouth, probably to ask, but I lifted a hand to stop him before he could make any sound. Anko was almost done sorting out the teams. His questions could wait until Sasuke was done. Anko finished sorting the teams before Sasuke was done. She barked out reminders about the test while Naruto and I hovered around Sasuke nervously. He opened his eyes, charcoal black like always, just as she began to count down from five. 

I offered my hand out immediately and helped pull Sasuke to his feet. We gave each other a hard stare and prepared to start on a dead sprint. The gates swung open and we took off like a bullet, deep grooves left behind from our chakra-aided start. The animals in the forest startled as we jumped and ducked over obstacles, never once looking behind us. The sounds of fighting were already echoing through the thickets of trees. I heard a loud roar and tried not to think of the venomous tigers listed in the warnings of the contracts. Sasuke led us through our run and called out warnings accordingly. 

“Into the trees!” He barked, noticeably sooner than we had planned. 

Naruto and I leapt up without a second thought, touching down onto a branch wider than our vertical heights. Sasuke landed in a crouch ahead of us, narrowed eyes tracking something in the tall grass that loomed before us. Naruto and I waited with bated breaths for the rustling to stop and for something to emerge. A giant pair of ears cautiously poked out. Naruto relaxed almost instantly, though he didn’t say a word and kept looking. 

A massive hare lifted its upper body from the tall-grass, its shoulders easily clearing even the highest stalks. With it, three other hares stood, although they were significantly shorter. Mind you, they were still above three feet. The tallest hare was likely standing at a solid 5’6. That is to say, just as tall as I am. It was the other hares’ mother. Its maw was slicked with blood. It ducked back into the tall grass and crushed something in its jaw, standing back up with a chunk of feathered meat it fed to its children. I shivered. Aren’t hares supposed to be vegetarians? Naruto scrunched his nose up in disgust. 

I looked across the trees to meet Sasuke’s eyes. 

What should we do? I mouthed. Those things have a disgusting vertical leap . 

He pointed higher into the trees. I nudged Naruto and nodded. We used our chakra to crawl up the trees slowly, careful to keep the noise to a minimum. The last thing we wanted to do was let that thing know we were here. We went far enough into the tree that we were barely able to make out the hares’ form when we looked down. I’m sure Sasuke had no trouble, but Naruto and I resorted to making general guesses as to what it was doing. Naruto and I settled on a significantly thinner branch than before and peered down to make sure we couldn’t be heard. 

“Can you make that leap?” I whispered, jutting my head to the closest branch in the next tree. 

Naruto tilted his head. “Seven foot gap?” 

My eyebrow twitched. “Nine, almost nine and a half. It’s so clearly not seven, how’d you even get that?” 

Naruto stuck his tongue out. “I wasn’t that far off. Anyway, of course I can jump that. Totally. But uh. Do you want to go first?” 

I rolled my eyes and stood up. “You better not fall, Sunshine.” 

I didn’t have to make any threats. The mutant rabbits and threat of fall damage spoke for themselves. I rolled my shoulders and let my chakra cycle through my body. I didn’t have room for a running start the way I would have on the lower branches, but I had enough space to take two full steps back. I stretched my calves for a second before taking a deep breath. I took one giant step, landing on the edge of the branch, and willed my chakra to ricochet me to the next branch, sticking the landing with a muffled thump that sent a few birds flying. I glanced down wearily, but the hare was no longer somewhere I could see. From a few feet away, Sasuke nodded and gestured for me to meet up at his position. 

“Is Naruto clear to jump?” I asked. 

Sasuke nodded. “The hare’s leading its kids to its nest.” 

I grimaced. I’m glad we avoided wading through the tall grass. I can’t imagine running into those things’ nest. Well, I can, but I really don’t want to. Naruto took a running step like I did and jumped the gap, almost overshooting but managing to keep his balance. My heart leapt into my throat for a second before I registered that he was okay. 

“I think we should keep moving in the trees until we’re we’ll alway from the tall grass,” Sasuke said, eyes focused on something in the distance. “About 4000 meters out.” 

I grimaced. “If that’s the case, we’d better get closer to the ground. Not as low as below, but definitely not this high up. The jumps are riskier up here.” 

“I didn’t even fall!” Naruto huffed. 

“No,” I agreed. “But you were close to it. Safer jumps means faster travel anyway.” 

Sasuke nodded. “Let’s go down about fifty feet. We’ll be closer to the lower half of the middle section of the trees.”

Naruto sighed and bowed his head in deference. At least he wasn’t being defensive about it. 

We traveled through the trees for ten minutes before we cleared the tall grass and another ten to make sure we were out of range of anything that may live in it. Before we dropped down into the forest, we huddled together to talk. 

“What’s our first goal today? Scroll collection, setting camp, hunting, setting traps?” Naruto rattled off. 

“If we find a scroll now we just have to book it to the tower. We’ll be done on day three at the latest,” Sasuke said. 

“On what fuel?” I asked incredulously. “We should hunt and forage while we find somewhere defensible for the night. We can’t leave that until after dark, and we’re going to have to find a reliable source of water.” 

Sasuke frowned, but he didn’t argue. He tilted his head in consideration as his fingers tapped against his thighs.

“We’d be most efficient splitting up,” he said after some time. “I can scout the area for a good camp or other teams, Naruto can set up traps for small animals, you can forage. But we should keep going towards the heart of the forest. We’re still on the outskirts.” 

I looked towards Naruto. “Anything to add?” 

Naruto hummed. “The closer to the middle we get, the more likely we’re going to come across water, right? Like a river or something? I think we shouldn’t stay too close to it. Lottsa people are gonna be there. So maybe we should cross it or stay a couple of miles before it.” 

He was absolutely right. 

“Sasuke, do you know the parameters of the forest?” I asked. 

“Just that it’s an extremely large plot of land. There’s three rivers, but the one in the middle of the forest is by far the largest. There’s one… in the northeastern corner from where we are and one southbound. I’m not sure how many teams are where, but it’s safe to assume most will find the largest river in the middle.

So certain teams had the advantage of entering near a water source. I frowned and tapped my chin. 

“If you had to estimate an amount of distance for the circumference, what would you estimate?” Hopefully that’s not asking too much. 

Sasuke gave a little ‘hn’ as he thought. “I’d say our best bet is to move thirty miles in and set camp there.” 

I smiled. “Then we have a plan. Let’s move.” 

The boys nodded and we dropped down onto solid ground, abandoning our high grounds. Sasuke went back to leading while Naruto and I flanked. We traveled most of the day, dodging various oversized animals and avoiding every sign or sound that suggested a fight was near. I think I sweated out all of the hydration in my body by the time we stopped running. My throat was tingly, but I ignored it and started on foraging while the boys set out on their own tasks. 

We would need water eventually, but the sky suggested rain overnight. The plants in the forest were just as mutated as the animals, but they were more in lines of megafauna instead of venomous super soldiers. The ones that were poisonous were usually also spiky or bug-eating. I fell back onto my kunoichi lessons to make sure I didn’t accidentally kill my team and I. I found herbs that’d make good flavor additions to a bigger meal and wild garlic, onion, and carrots. I found some bushes of berries I couldn’t recognize and decided it was safer to leave it than to chance it. 

I carried my haul in a clean towel that came with my sharpening kit and set it down in the hollow space of a tree’s roots. Naruto and Sasuke weren’t back yet so I got to looking for dry bark for a fire. Naruto was setting traps around the hollow tree when I got back. Sasuke sat in it, weaving a basket out of long braided fibers. 

“I found a water source,” he said unceremoniously when he caught me looking. “It’s underground and it’s stagnant, so we should boil it just in case. But I know where it is and didn’t see evidence of recent activity.” 

I nodded and dropped the wood I gathered at the base of the tree. I wish I had my bedroll. 

“Anything else left to do?” I asked. 

Sasuke jutted his chin towards the large pile of fibers next to him. 

“Help me make another basket. Ideally we can have three so we can all go, but two is okay as well.” 

“Can we not just make Naruto’s clones transform into bowls? Or gallons?” I asked pointedly. 

Sasuke stopped weaving for a split second before he scrunched his nose in disgust. “I’m not drinking water that’s been inside the dobe.” 

“Uh—I—um. Yeah I don’t think that’s how this works.”

He kept weaving, not even looking at his work as he made perfectly tidy braids. “Besides, what happens when the transformation runs out? When the jutsu runs out? All that water will be wasted. Bushin aren’t infinite, eventually the chakra will be absorbed by the rees here. Especially here, even.” 

I put my hands up in surrender. “Okay! Jesus, I’m sorry. I was short sighted.” 

Sasuke huffed as I dropped myself onto the grass beside him and started to braid. He was much quicker than me, but I liked to think we made equally sturdy baskets. He completely won on the aesthetic front. Although simple, he incorporated an alternating design. He was working on a third basket when Naruto plopped down by us. Naruto heaved a great sigh and leaned back on his arms, face tilted up towards the tree bark. 

“I just set up like fifteen traps,” Naruto groaned. “I’ve got a clone at every animal trap, we’ll see if we get anything.” 

“Good work,” I smiled tiredly. We still had another three or so hours of light left in the day. “Do you think you can send a clone with Sasuke and I to get water while you rest and watch over camp?” 

Naruto nodded, sliding his eyes shut as he summoned a clone of himself. When it appeared, he yawned and laid down with his arms behind his head. 

“Wake me up before you leave,” Naruto murmured, already drifting to sleep. 

I was almost jealous at how quickly he started snoring. 

“Anything I need to do?” I asked Sasuke quietly. 

He shook his head. I couldn’t fall asleep the way Naruto evidently could, but I sat criss-cross and closed my eyes. I realized that this was the first time I meditated in this world. Well, if there was anywhere I’d need inner peace, it’d be in a forest with flowers that could kill me. Sasuke sent Naruto’s clone to collect decent sized rocks in preparation of stone boiling the water we would bring back. Naruto’s clone whined and asked why I couldn’t do it. 

It was a fair complaint, in my opinion, but Sasuke just shushed him and sent him on his way. A dozen or so minutes later, long after Naruto’s clone had returned, Sasuke declared that he was done. I stretched upwards and out before standing. Sasuke gave Naruto’s clone the least decorated basket (the one I made) and gestured for me to wake Naruto up. I nudged Naruto’s ribs with my sandal until he startled awake. 

“Keep an eye out for anything suspicious. And be careful with those traps you set out,” I warned. “If they do catch prey, you’re likely to attract some predators with the scent of fresh blood or sight of unmoving animals.” 

Naruto yawned and shot me a thumbs up. I received the last basket from Sasuke and nodded at Naruto’s clone. 

“We’ll be back soon!” I called. 

“Be safe!” Naruto yelled back. 

Like before, Sasuke led Naruto-clone and I deeper into the forest. He led us between a particularly thick collection of bushes and gestured to a narrow, steep, opening hidden between shrubs and rocks. I raised a brow at him. He doesn’t expect me to just go in there, does he? 

“It’s fine,” Sasuke said with a huff. “I went in there earlier.” 

“And what possessed you to do that?” I asked in disbelief. “This is prime spider cave material.” 

“Fire beats spider last time I checked,” he drawled idly as he toed closer to the opening. “It doesn’t go down too far, maybe a ten feet.” 

I rubbed my forehead and sighed. “Fine. If something’s down there, I reserve the right to be mad at you.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “It was empty when I was in here before, it’ll probably be empty now. What’s the worst that could be in there anyway?” 

I grimaced and rasped my knuckles against the nearest piece of wood I could find. That kind of talk is just tempting the world to throw shit at you. 

“Stop talking,” I said tersely. “Just get down there. Naruto, go down after me.”

We made our way down carefully, using chakra to make sure we didn’t slide down. The opening was maybe four foot three across, just enough room to remind us how little space there was while not actively touching our shoulders. Sasuke slowed down as he reached the opening at the bottom. He stepped down from the dirt tunnel carefully, ensuring the woven basket wasn’t harmed in the trip. It was going to be a bitch to get it back out, though not impossible. As I followed him out, my eyes fought to adjust to the dimly lit cavern. There were extremely small flecks of light shining down from the root-riddled ceiling. My eyes were drawn to the pool of water. It was surprisingly large and I couldn’t see the floor beneath it. Naruto climbed down and walked next to me. 

He caught sight of the pool and whistled, an impressed look washing over his face. 

“Nice find, teme,” he said, turning his face towards Sasuke but not really focusing there with the darkness. 

“I know, dobe. That’s why I-” whatever Sasuke was going to snark about died in his throat. 

My body tensed at the foreign sound of scuttling bouncing around the seemingly empty cave. The scuttling stopped a few seconds after it started, instead getting replaced by a gentle click click . I tilted my head up fearfully and felt my soul die a little. There’s a spider. A huge spider. A great hulking beast with eight red eyes and a foaming mouth. I clamped down on the whimper that tried to escape me. Its eyes darted around uncertainly, like it couldn’t quite see us even though it heard noise. I shivered and dropped my head to the ground, desperately examining my surroundings in case there were more. 

Instead, my eyes caught sight of something shimmering on the ground. My breathing hitched and I felt lightheaded all at once. 

“It can’t see or hear us,” I said, still quiet despite being sure. “The floor is covered in webs.” 

Naruto and Sasuke looked down quickly. Sasuke’s sharingan whirled to life. He blanched and carefully shifted his footing. The spider walked further along its web, its foot searching for vibrations while its pincers grinded together in anticipation. 

“Naruto,” Sasuke said seriously. “Do not move. Don’t dismiss yourself. Sakura, take two paces to the left and one forward. Ah–stop!–a little further out, okay. Clear. I’m going to guide you towards the water and head there myself. Naruto, keep your eyes on the spider. If it moves, tell me. Understood?” 

“Yes,” Naruto and I echoed. 

The next few minutes of my life were incredibly tense. It was like the worst game of red light green light, but the penalty for losing was death via an twenty foot spider cocoon. I tried not to stare at the yellowed cocoon pinned to the corner of the ceiling, nor wonder what kind of animal required a cocoon that large. It was a relief to stand at the water’s edge. From what I could see, there weren’t many webs near it. 

“Carrying this water back is going to be the hard part,” Sasuke warned, red eyes fixed firmly on the dark brown spider above us. “When we get back towards the exit, I’m going to tell Naruto to take the water back to camp. If we go and Naruto dismisses himself, the chakra trail will lead right to us. The spider will chase and we’ll likely have to abandon the water.” 

I cringed and nodded. “We can’t just have him wait a while before he dismisses himself?” 

Sasuke turned his head towards Naruto’s clone. “The web is absorbing the chakra he’s made of. If we go without him, he’ll be forcefully popped anyway. If he stops standing on the web and goes, he’ll make it back to camp and report to the real Naruto, but we have to hurry. Every second we waste is a second closer to the clone disappearing.” 

I hardened my jaw and nodded. “Lead me.” 

Sasuke and I continued to cross the world’s most complex hopscotch course, careful to stop even a gust of wind from shaking the spider threads. Sasuke explained the plan to Naruclone when we were close enough. Naruto nodded along and accepted the water baskets we passed him. He carried one on his head, keeping it steady with a hand and chakra. The other he held in his off hand. 

“Go,” Sasuke said. “Sakura, get ready to split off. Get your weapons ready and make sure you keep your distance from me. I’m going to use a lot of fire jutsu.” 

I nodded grimly. As soon as Naruto stepped off the web, Sasuke and I ran in opposite directions. I winced as he ran towards the spider and did my best to provide long-distance support. He spat out fireball after fireball, switching with one of my aerial kunai every once in a while. 

“Its exoskeleton is too strong for regular weapons!” He shouted. 

I cursed and drew in closer, hastily pulling on my gloves to safely handle my ninja wire. Sasuke shot off another fireball close to its face. The spider screeched in pain and reared its head, four legs waving wildly and brushing the dirt roof. Chunks of mud and loose gravel rained down upon us. Sasuke and I dodged as best as we could, but we were still sprayed by loose debris. 

I hissed and wiped gravel away from my face. “If we’re not careful, that thing’s going to cause a cave in!” It would probably survive, but we wouldn’t.

“What’s your plan?” Sasuke asked instead, a grim line decorating his face. 

“I’m hoping this shit’s sharp enough to chop its head off!” I called a bit hysterically, maneuvering out of the way of its stomping hind-legs. 

Sasuke dove forward to avoid a wad of spit from the spider. I watched as it quickly hardened and realized this was how it made cocoons. 

“Get climbing!” Sasuke barked, ripping spiderwebs off his clothes and shooting a fireball at an incoming wad of webs. 

I didn’t bother responding, just did my best to get near the spider’s abdomen. The spider turned to me for a moment, but Sasuke set a phoenix flower towards it to catch its attention again. It screamed, shaking the pond and the walls in the cavern. I used chakra to leap up as more slabs of mud fell down. It roared as I ran up its spine, spinning in circles to throw me off. I tried to temper the sharp wave of nausea that chased me as I slid on its furry back to avoid its legs. From below, Sasuke sent an electric jab to one of the spider’s legs and broke it at the joint. 

The spider hissed, foam and cocoon fluid flying everywhere. My eyes widened at the baseball-sized chunk that headed my way. I leaped back, losing my footing and landing on my back harshly. My head slammed down onto the spider. I could feel myself starting to slip from its back and blinked the stars away from my vision. Sensing weakness, the spider began to move more violently. It spun faster and faster. I couldn’t stop the bile that climbed up my throat, but I shut my eyes and made myself stick with chakra. I crawled my way forward, feeling the spider’s body and keeping too low to get reached by its legs. 

It didn’t stop spinning. The only reason I spewed out bile was because there was no food for me to sacrifice. I wiped my mouth, wiping away thick mucus and saliva. I gagged a bit, but I forced my eyes open. Tears sprung to my eyes as I processed too much but I kept crawling, even if it made my skull feel like it was getting pounded with an ice pick. The spider began to slow as it made itself dizzy, whines sounding out as it spat and hissed. I crawled faster, focusing on the point between its sternum and its head.  

The spider bucked and screeched when it felt me carefully wrap my ninja wire around its neck. I channeled chakra to my legs and stuck to its back from my knees to my shins, holding the wire taught and pulling with all my strength. The spider stomped around angrily, slamming its head against the roof when it reared back to knock me off once-and-for-all. My own strength wasn’t enough to puncture its armor-like skeleton, so making an impulsive decision, I let go of my chakra and refocused it into my hands. Its head popped clean off, but I found myself falling with nothing to hold onto. Fuck, I’m so stupid .

“Sakura!” Sasuke screamed, running below me. 

“Don’t catch me!” I shouted hysterically. “Remember the superman effect!” 

Sasuke’s face was ashen with panic, his sharingan jumping from falling rock to rock. “Kawarimi!” He shouted, throwing the last basket up. 

I flipped myself as best I could and hurried to make the hand-signs, hyper-aware of the rapidly approaching ground. I tugged on my chakra harshly, nearly crying in relief when I was much closer to Sasuke than before. I barely remembered to tuck and roll as I fell onto the ground, my heart beating so fast I thought it might stop all together. Sasuke urged me to stand, half dragging me towards the exit while I struggled to orient myself. 

“Don’t look back, just hurry,” he hissed, peering over my shoulder with blazing eyes. 

Against my better judgment, I looked. Out of the darkness, hundreds of poodle-sized spiders mobbed the recently slain spider. I gagged and tripped over my feet as they crawled into its mouth and ate its eyes from the inside-out. 

“Don’t look!” Sasuke said fiercely, tugging me along. My arm popped a little before snapping back into place. 

I grimaced and knew I’d feel that later tonight. I got control over my body and fled with Sasuke’s guidance. He pushed me ahead of him and did his best to cave the entrance in as we made our way out. I took a deep gulp of fresh air and pushed my way out of the shrubbery, assessing my damage in the light of day. My knees were scraped to hell and back, sluggishly bleeding but minimal damage in the grand scheme of things. My forearms were torn up and had some thorns in them but again, minimal. I picked them out while Sasuke and I caught our breaths. 

“I hate this place,” Sasuke gasped, wiping his dirty palms against his shirt. 

“Ditto,” I winced, flicking away a piece of gravel that had found its way under my skin. “Fuck the first Hokage.” 

We fell silent for a bit, the only sounds were from our heavy breathing and the grisly reminder of giant mandibles grinding against each other.

“Let’s get back to camp,” Sasuke said when I finished getting rid of the debris in my skin. 

I nodded and followed him at a softer pace than we set when we came here. We got back to base before the first hints of orange started to poke at the sky. Naruto–the original–winced in sympathy when he spotted us. 

“I would have gone to help,” he said, critically eyeing us up and down. “But I really hate spiders.” 

I groaned and dropped down into the safety of our root-base. Sasuke smacked the back of Naruto’s head and dropped down beside me. 

“Did your traps at least work?” He grunted. 

“Oh! Yeah, I got two rabbits and a squirrel. They’re just about done bleeding. I’ll get them if you want to start the fire up.” 

Sasuke sighed and leaned against the trunk of the tree. He pressed his palms to his eyes and took a deep breath before moving to help Naruto. I shifted to stand, but he stopped me. 

“Stay here, please,” he said quietly. “Where I can see you. Just for tonight.” 

I furrowed my brows and sat back down slowly. “Why?” 

He gestured to his eyes. “I don’t forget.” 

My eyes widened in understanding. “Okay, Sas. I’ll be here, fixing myself up. Holler if you need me.” 

Sasuke hesitated before nodding once sharply and stepping out of the trunk enough to start the campfire, but not far enough to lose sight of me without his sharingan. When night came, he kept first watch. Naruto kept second. Halfway through my shift, he woke up and spent some time just staring at me before he fell back asleep. As I stared out into the dark forest, I couldn’t help but repeat my moment of idiocy. I almost made Sasuke watch my death. How fucking stupid can I be? In the night, under the stars and gently pouring rain, I promised that I’d never do something like that again.

Notes:

Man, it sure sucks that Sasuke and Sam went through this horrible thing on their first day in the forest. Surely that’s the worst it can get :D

About Sasuke praying: he hasn’t done so since before the massacre. recently (thanks to kakashi) sasuke realized he has people he’s afraid to lose.

About Sasuke’s sharingan: as you can tell, sasuke took kakashi’s advice to heart. he keeps a genjutsu over his sharingan, but he also doesn’t use it if he’s just with team seven.

if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask :D I’ll be more than happy to answer

As always, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Lately I’ve bee a little insecure about my writing, especially in this one since I chose to write a fight scene. I’d appreciate some feedback (if you have criticism, please don’t be harsh about it. constructive only). If you don’t like commenting, I’d appreciate a simple <3 to know the writing is appreciated and enjoyed :) don’t feel obligated btw, i’m just unsure of my writing for now lol

anyway, that’s enough of me having human fears. see you all in the next chapter!

Chapter 26: Forest of Death, Day Two

Summary:

In which everything should go smoothly and chooses not to.

Notes:

Mild descriptions of violence, super unbeta’d cuz that ain’t happening in this economy

I woke the boys up at sunrise, not that they needed much help in getting up. I’d had a few hours to process yesterday’s shit storm and sent Sasuke a death stare. 

“I reserve the right to say, I told you so,” I said flatly. “And also sorry for being dumb about the way I got that thing’s head off.” 

Sasuke paused, unsure if he should be offended or relieved. 

“It’s… okay?” He trailed off. “It’s okay now. And I should have listened to you.” 

I nodded. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.” 

Naruto yawned and stretched, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

“Are we heading towards the river today?” He asked, voice scratchy with sleep. 

I tilted my head, thinking over my options. If we go to the river, we’ll probably run into another group organically. Unfortunately, that means exposing ourselves to all the creatures that use that river too. Alternatively, we can scout the area around where we are and hope to catch a team mid journey. 

“What kind of creatures do you think would be around the river?” I asked, turning to Sasuke. 

Sasuke stopped combing his hair for a moment before he resumed. “There are thirteen fatal animals that have the word ‘river’ in their title and six more with the word ‘bog’.” 

I whistled in disbelief. That’s a hard no from me. 

“Let’s go hunting?” I asked hopefully. 

Naruto nodded eagerly, just as pale as I suspected I was, at Sasuke’s bombshell. Sasuke let out a sharp stream of air and nodded in relief. He wouldn’t say it, but I’m sure he was just as keen as Naruto and I in avoiding death via swamp monster. 

We fell into our usual formation after eating a quick breakfast, sacrificing some water to wash up and generously covering ourselves with Kakashi’s odor-muting gift. Sasuke kept an eye on the sky and upper branches of the massive trees that made up the forest of death while I kept an eye on the ground below. Naruto met us in the middle and made sure neither Sasuke or I ate shit with a jump gone wrong. 

“Red-tail nest,” Sasuke called out, leading us off to the left of where we were going. “Wasp hive,” he called later. 

It was a while of zigging and zagging before we ran into another team. 

“Rain,” Sasuke mouthed carefully to us. 

Naruto and I nodded, crouching down and huddling closer to the tree trunk to hide our forms a little better. The team of three were walking casually, shoving each other and laughing about something we were too far to hear. The girl in the middle got shoved by one of the boys and lagged behind for just a second. I made eye contact with the boys, securing a kunai ring firmly around my finger, and was dropping down to land on the boy on the left’s shoulders before I even registered my boys’ agreement. Naruto dropped down onto the girl and pulled her into a forward roll before throwing her against one of the Hashirama trees. She was out in the blink of an eye. 

Sasuke landed feet first against his opponent’s chest. He fell flat onto the ground, a loud rush of air streaming out his mouth before he started gasping for air.  

Mine’s knees buckled as my knees braced my fall against his back, but he threw himself back against the nearest tree and managed to balance himself out. I hissed as my back came into contact with the wood for a split second before he was straightening himself out. I twirled my kunai quickly and shoved it against his neck, hard enough to feel but not enough to dig in. 

“Keep your hands clearly raised away from each other,” I said flatly, one hand keeping his head back and the other making sure the kunai held steady. 

I felt his head jerk as he looked from teammate to teammate. His mouth opened a bit, probably to cuss us out, before he clenched his jaw and slowly raised his hands. I carefully dropped one leg off his shoulders and made sure he wouldn’t try anything before fully getting off him. With my feet on the ground, I shoved his back and forced him to kneel on the ground. The kunai at his nape changed to the back of his neck, its point steadily digging into flesh. 

My grip on his hair tightened as I quickly flipped my kunai and slammed the blunt end against his temple. His body went slack so I let him go and watched as he fell face first onto the ground. 

“Got it!” Naruto crowed, having shaken out the girl’s coat. “Let’s get out of this creepy forest.” 

“It’s the right one?” I called hopefully. 

Naruto gripped the scroll victoriously. “Yep! Let’s get outta here!” 

“Make sure you hide that well,” Sasuke called from further ahead, already heading towards the river. “Let’s get off the ground.”

I spared a glance at the team we knocked out before scaling the trees again. Hopefully they’d wake up before some sort of forest monster finds them. I felt my brows crease, but ultimately I followed my boys further into the forest. It would suck if something happened to them, yes, but ultimately these aren’t my allies and I have to prioritize my team rather than take time to ensure they’re left alone. 

Whatever amount of guilt I was feeling about leaving the rain team behind gradually disappeared as we ran through the thickets of the forest. 

“I hear the water!” Naruto cheered. 

I frowned and strained my ears, but I could hear nothing against the rush of wind as we traveled. Before I could ask, Naruto stopped tree hopping and scratched the back of his head. 

“Actually, it’s making me need to pee. D’you guys mind waiting? I’ll be right back!” 

I didn’t think much of it, but Sasuke was quick to stop Naruto from dropping down. 

“It’s better to have something to assure that it’s really you when you come back,” Sasuke explained. 

Naruto’s nose scrunched up with his frown, but he stayed quiet as he thought it over. Eventually, he nodded and gestured for Sasuke to continue. 

“I think we should make a passcode.”

I felt my eyebrows hike up in surprise, but I kept my concerns to myself. Naruto’s never been good at memorizing things. Maybe that was the point?

“Like a name or a place?” I asked curiously. That was probably simple enough for Naruto to remember. 

“The shinobi tenants we learned in year one,” Sasuke said. “When should a ninja strike?” 

I raised a brow. That was one of the first things we ever learned. Any Konoha shinobi would know it almost by heart. 

Still, I reluctantly answered. “In the dead of night, when their advantage is overwhelming. A ninja waits until the time is right, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike."

I can still remember Iruka-sensei pacing between the aisles when he taught this, making eye contact with all of us to ensure we were chanting along. Awful times.

Naruto nodded along, his gaze distracted. “Yeah yeah, a shinobi strikes when it suits them, I got it. Be right back!” 

Before Sasuke or I could say anything, he was down the tree and running behind a large bush. I sighed and shook my head. Sasuke and I carefully got down, walking towards a giant boulder in the center of the clearing while we waited for Naruto. I leaned against the boulder and turned my gaze upwards towards the sky. For the most part, the towering Hashirama trees blocked out Konoha’s usual tranquil skies, but bits of blue and white peaked out from the foliage. 

The breeze was nice. The situation could almost be classified as peaceful, if it weren’t for the hell-brought beasts and mini assassins in the forest. I tapped my fingers against the rock, not really sure how much time had passed. It couldn’t have been too long. I brought my head back down as the bushes began to rustle. I felt myself relax a bit once I saw Naruto pop his head out. 

“Sorry I took so long! I guess I drank too much water last night,” Naruto admitted sheepishly. 

Before I could say anything, Sasuke had put an arm in front of me to stop me from walking up to Naruto. 

“What’s the password we agreed on?” He said seriously, narrowed eyes scrutinizing our least academic teammate. 

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Still, I didn’t do much more than sigh and cross my arms before resuming to lean against the boulder. 

“Aw man, is that really necessary?” Naruto laughed nervously. “Alright. I got this. A ninja waits until the time is right, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike."

As Naruto steadily repeated the passcode word for word, I felt my disbelief sky rocket. I kept my surprise locked tightly, not wanting to offend Naruto. Even though it felt wrong to consider the possibility of the Naruto in front of me being an imposter, the doubt still weighed heavy on me. 

“Hey, Naruto, what tattoo idea did I suggest we get that Sasuke shot down as soon as he heard it?” It felt a little silly to ask, but it was more for peace of mind than it was for genuine suspicion. 

Naruto laughed again, scratching the back of his neck. “What didn’t he reject? He shot down everything we said.” 

The hair at the back of my neck stood up. I felt my breathing fluctuate for a moment before I gained control over myself again. 

“Then what did we end up going with?” Sasuke asked casually. 

I almost burst out laughing, caught completely off-guard. As if Sasuke would agree to getting any kind of tattoo. He’s kind of a stick in the mud like that. 

Naruto’s eyes darted to me before he scoffed. “We didn’t get matching tattoos, Sasuke. Are you done yet? We’ve got an exam to win!” 

Sasuke and I met eyes. Naruto wouldn’t call Sasuke by his name like that. Sasuke was quick to put distance between them and throw out a fireball. I followed suit, a little annoyed at how long it took me to realize that Naruto wasn’t who he seemed to be. Sunshine would be disappointed. 

The fake Naruto didn’t bother keeping up pretenses, just ducked under the flames with an amused little smirk outlining their slowly changing face. I shivered as I watched Naruto’s tan skin give way to a pale pink tone and his cropped hair turned into a black low bun. Realizing I was wasting time, I began to thread ninja wire through two kunai. If it worked for the spider, it would definitely work for some deranged little genin. I grimaced as the Naruto disguise ebbed away, revealing a much taller teenager. I glanced at her headband–Rain.

Her eyes were sharp and eerie, a gleaming brown that seemed to shine without the light of day shining on them. I shifted on my haunches uncomfortably, pulling on the gloves Kakashi bought for me and keeping my hands close to my weapons. Still, there was only one of her and two of us. Even if her skills surpassed Sasuke and I’s individual capabilities, I was confident we could handle it together. I felt a little unsettled as I shifted my position to be more maneuverable, noticing that her eyes didn’t budge from Sasue’s position.

Maybe he felt uncomfortable with her too, because Sasuke didn’t hesitate to throw several shuriken at the tall teenager in front of us. I sprang up from where I crouched, throwing a mix of senbon and shuriken to cover my movement to Sasuke. 

“Let’s try taijutsu before we waste chakra,” he said quietly, fists clenching in anticipation. 

“Will you take left or right?” I asked with a tilt of my head. 

“Left. Try to catch her the way Kakashi taught you,” Sasuke hummed vaguely. 

I nodded, tightening my own fists to feel and hear the creak of leather. I took a deep breath and tried not to think too deeply about our opponent’s indulgent expression. She looks too smug for comfort. I fished a handful of shuriken out of my weapons’ pouch and palmed a kunai in my other hand, waiting for Sasuke to make a move before I tried to trap her in genjutsu. Sasuke pivoted on his foot and ran closer to her from the left, seamlessly executing one of his most-practiced shuriken drills. Seeing my chance, I released my own barrage of shuriken from the right and began to quickly weave my fingers together to form the foundations of a real-time multi-angular genjutsu. 

A wave of nausea tried to fight its way to the forefront of my senses, but the adrenaline rushing through my veins was enough to suppress it. I started with the basics. I made the wind a little stronger and changed its direction by a few degrees, cautious to keep it reasonably reactive to all three of our movements. Sasuke and I closed in on the rain kunoichi, though it was undoubtedly Sasuke who put more pressure against her as I focused on layering my genjutsu. My eyes darted about from Sasuke to the kunoichi to the subtle over-layer of the genjutsu that resides only in my mind’s eye. 

I sent a thin thread of chakra into the genjutsu realm, gently probing shadows and the ground to make it a bit steeper here or weaker there. As the idea solidified in my head, the chakra take became greater as it settled into the genjutsu the kunoichi was under. I stepped aside to dodge her sweeping arm, dropping down to kick her feet under her. She jumped easily before falling into a back spring to avoid Sasuke’s straight jab. Her hand landed three inches away from an imperfection in the genjutsu. 

Sensing weakness, I leaned into the angle more. I meticulously constructed more uneven footing behind her, careful to keep the ground she’d already seen untouched. Sasuke and I closed in again, him going for the throat while I moved to hit her liver. In dodging Sasuke, she leaned towards me. I didn’t hold back, going as far as to reinforce my fist with chakra so I could hit her to my full potential without experiencing backlash. 

She hissed while I hurried to ensure my genjutsu didn’t waver. She turned to me with narrowed eyes and a vicious scowl, swiping at me with an open palm. I grimaced as I dodged, finally noticing her sharpened purple-stained nails. If that wasn’t an indicator of poison, I have no idea what could be. I clenched my jaw a bit and put aside the genjutsu. Whether or not she dispelled it couldn’t become my priority. If her nails are actually poisoned, it suggests that she’s proficient with close-range fighting. I can’t afford to endanger Sasuke just because I want something to go my way. 

I put a pin on the genjutsu for now, my building headache neither receding or growing. I refocused my chakra cycle to my arms, hands, and legs, leaving a bit to reinforce my shoulders and spine. I narrowed my eyes at the kunoichi in front of me. She met my gaze and smiled, revealing a mouth of sharp teeth. Was this girl really from Rain? Her features were more reminiscent of Kiri. I squared my shoulders and fought to hit her back while Sasuke focused on a face to face confrontation. I took shot after shot wherever I thought would hurt the most, but this kunoichi was proving to be annoyingly adept at keeping Sasuke and I in one place. 

If I kept scowling at her the way I was, I’d start matching with Sasuke on a daily basis. Sasuke and I exchanged knowing, angry, looks. He started weaving hand signs while I ducked closer into the kunoichi’s defenses and put her on the defensive. I didn’t hesitate to punch and kick wherever I could, batting her clawed fingernails away with the back of my gloved hands. I caught her wrist in my left hand, my chakra pulsing with the intensity of my anger. I hadn’t stopped to think about Naruto’s whereabouts, but staring into her cold eyes, I couldn’t help but wonder what she did to him. My grip tightened as she tried to tug it out. I pulled her close and sent a fist at her face, but she leaned to the side and yanked her hand out of my grip. 

I stomped my foot onto hers, trying to pin her into place while I struggled to capture her arms again. Her mocking smile changed in an instant, instead morphing into an enraged baring of teeth.

I scoffed inwardly and punched her collarbone, bone crunching beneath my hand in a satisfying compression. As she skidded back a foot or two, Sasuke shot a phoenix fireball at her. Her eyes remained on me, darkening in anger while being illuminated by the incoming fire. I expected her to dodge, but instead, she walked through it like it was nothing. I gasped as hair and skin began to burn away like molten plastic. The headband slipped off as her hair went from a neatly tied charcoal black bun to long flowing ink-black hair. 

She got even taller than she already was, even surpassing Kakashi’s height. Her hair fell to her waist and her gray clothes fell away to reveal a white tunic over a black long sleeve. I grimaced at the purple rope tied around her waist. When the last tendrils of chakra smoke receded from her form, I hesitantly brought my eyes up to see her for who she really is. 

As my eyes settled on hers, I felt a gripping fear chill my spine. Forget being an older Rain genin, this is a grown adult. A grown man who hasn’t stopped looking at Sasuke for more than a few seconds at a time. I pulled Sasuke behind me, my heart beating wildly. He’s the last loyal Uchiha in the world, the least experienced. I wonder how much he would fetch at a black market. I wonder if the ninja before us was a seller or if he himself was a deviant. 

His yellow eyes trailed over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of Sasuke before he laughed. Disgust curled in my stomach. I involuntarily frowned at the man in front of me, unable to dispel the word ‘pedophile’ from my heart. 

“Child, do you not know who I am?” He smiled, the purple marking around his eyes creasing. 

The air turned stifling as he took a step towards Sasuke and I. I gasped in surprise, my throat drying out while Sasuke fell to his knees behind me. I panicked as he kept walking. Sasuke wasn’t moving, heaving nearly silently with his eyes blown wide. I couldn’t move my body, but I was rapidly cycling my chakra, urging it to move tendon and bone when my mind failed to do the same. 

I felt like a puppet as my arms moved from the shoulder and wrist. I could feel sweat bead at my brow as my fingers wrapped around a cylindrical figure in my weapons pouch. My breath came out in short puffs, hyper aware of the man sizing me up in interest. Despite his unwavering gaze, I was able to command my chakra to move my hand out of my pouch. My muscles ached, warming up significantly the more I forced my chakra to press on them. 

I felt feverish as my fingers squeezed the bottom of the cylinder, my arm cramping and protesting against the unnatural use of chakra. The paper bottom of the metallic cylinder crumpled. Red smoke stained my fingers and arm as it propelled upwards and over the trees, exploding into a vibrant shower of surrender. Unable to brace myself, the recoil of the flare knocked me down, accidentally landing against Sasuke and pushing him into the hashirama tree’s wide trunk. 

Unable to even turn my neck, I could only try to force my body to restart while Sasuke hissed. From the dull noise I heard, I assumed he hit his head. My blood rushed as I thought. This fear was artificially caused, it wasn’t truly mine. The technique targeted the nervous system and brain. Clearly my brain isn’t under too much pressure because I can still think coherently. Fuck, can this guy stop coming near us? Shit. Running out of time, I grasped the first solution that came to me. 

I forced my chakra to stop cycling. I felt weak, cold, drowsy, and fatigued all at once. My thoughts came slowly, as if wading through syrup. I brought a small pulse of chakra to several major points in my nervous system and administered a jolt to them, essentially tasing myself from the inside. My jaw and hands clenched as my back arched involuntarily. I couldn’t even bring myself to breath in those few moments of pain, my vision whiting out until my chakra found its rhythm again.

I took a ragged gasp of air and pushed myself to my feet, closing my eyes to find my balance. I hurriedly opened them again after making out the sound of a considerate hum. I blinked a few times in quick succession to clear my vision and found myself only a few feet away from our enemy. I tensed and stepped back, hurriedly casting a glance over my shoulder. Sasuke’s fingers, stained with blood, clenched around a kunai as black eyes jumped from place to place. He met my gaze grimly before focusing on the man before us again. 

“Interesting,” the man said, tapping a slender finger against his cheek thoughtfully. “But annoying. It seems I won’t have time to test you thoroughly, Sasuke-kun.” 

I grimaced at his wistful tone. I wished I could hide Sasuke away, far away from the hungry gaze of the creep in front of us. He shifted his weight from one foot to another and I knew Sasuke and I could no longer be idle. I brought my hands together, my heart panging in longing to have Naruto support us with his endless well of chakra, and summoned three dust clones to get in our enemy’s face. I grabbed a hold of Sasuke’s arm and urged him to go further into the trees with me, trying my best to ignore the sinister laugh behind us. 

Sasuke and I made it into the lower branches of the towering trees when the deathly-pale man swept his arm in a wide arc, a gust of wind blowing away my clones and the dirt they were made of. Just seeing him made the hair on my arms stand up. To make it through our checkpoints and entrance gate was enough to make me wary, but the fact that he made it this far into the exam without rousing any suspicion was another matter altogether. Just who the hell is this guy? He didn’t bother slowly ambling to us like before, instead gazing upwards to where we were and crouching down. 

“Shit, he’s coming up. Come on, we can’t stay here,” I hissed, urging Sasuke to follow me. 

“We should split up,” Sasuke said as we hopped branch to branch, occasionally jolting at the sound of footsteps following us. 

“Are you crazy?! That guy’s clearly after you! I can’t do much at long distance.” 

His face was grim as he looked me in the eyes. “He won’t follow you.” 

I felt my jaw go slack. “You-! If we weren’t being chased by a psycho pedophile I’d beat your head in, you stupid self-sacrificial idiot!” 

Sasuke huffed but refrained from insisting. Eventually, we couldn’t run anymore. Our enemy landed gracefully on the branch in front of us, his amused expression now more serious. 

“I would love to continue this game of cat and mouse, but I’m afraid your civilian… teammate has put us on a rather tight schedule,” he drawled.

For the first time, he turned his attention solely on me. My shoulders raised in instinctive fear, but my beating heart quickly settled in relief. At least he wasn’t looking at Sasuke. 

The man before me tilted his head in consideration, quickly taking me in and settling his gaze on my face. I shivered–I felt undressed and found lacking under his assessment. 

“You’re interesting, for a civilian,” he said at last. “Meddlesome, but perhaps… Someone of interest. Unfortunately you’re nothing in the grand scheme of things. I’ll give you a choice. Leave of your own volition and I will not pursue you. I’ll even tell you where I left your teammate. Stay and I’ll kill you.”

“Find Naruto,” Sasuke whispered behind me, his voice oddly thin. 

Even though I was worried about Naruto, I couldn’t guarantee that the man in front of me would be truthful. He could still kill me, he could lie about Naruto’s location, or perhaps lead me to a trap. Faced with danger in either way, I knew I couldn’t leave Sasuke alone. I had launched the flare a few minutes ago. The tower was several miles away from us, but the proctors were all chunin. If we were lucky, maybe we’d even get a jounin on scene. I lifted my chin and narrowed my eyes. 

“I would never leave any of my teammates with someone like you .”

Oh he did not like that. For the first time, his face loses the amused edge and falls flat. His fingers flex and my hackles rise. I don’t wait for him to make a move, I practically carry Sasuke away and shove him behind me, my eyes unblinking as I watch this creepy fuck. Sasuke snaps out of his stupor, his body tensing for a moment before relaxing the way he does before he gets into a fight. I couldn’t manage to do the same, my senses dialed to eleven. 

My fingers twitch at my side. “Hide,” I say under my breath to Sasuke. 

There isn’t time for anything else. He sweeps his arm across the air and the space between us trembles under the physical pressure his chakra makes. I throw myself to the side and roll behind the sturdy trunks of the Hashirama’s. I feel as chakra-fueled wind digs grooves several feet into the bark. I push myself up to find better cover, but even the scattered boulders are marked. I feel a chill go down my spine as he brings his hand to his mouth. His jaw should creak when it opens as wide as it does, then it should break, but it doesn’t. It just–keeps going. I’m horrified and terrified at the same time. He tilts his head back and brings his hand wrist-deep into the back of his throat. Part of me wants to succumb to the wave of nausea. His jaw is so clearly split into four different pieces, so un-human and deformed. 

I take a step back involuntarily and remind myself where I am. I look around, trying to find a glance of Sasuke, and feel an indescribable rush of worry and relief when I don’t see him. The smart thing to do would be to run. The temptation is strong as my eyes lock on the metal he’s pulling out of his split face. I could be chased down, hunted like a dog, but there’s also a chance he’d just let me go. That chance hangs entirely on Sasuke’s shoulders and I know at once that that’s something I could never do. 

I’ve lived my life. It was a good life. What have I done with this one? Complained that I don’t want to be here, ripped a young girl away from her closest friends and family, changed her body without her input–if she was somewhere where she had the capability of understanding what I’ve done. If she isn’t, then doesn’t that mean I killed her and took her place? The sword is pulled upwards inch by inch. Its hilt is black, wrapped in white cloth, and the handguard is golden with a blue gem inlaid beneath it. It’s the sword of Kusanagi. Dread roots me to the ground below as years of history pound into my skull. 

Essentially, it’s the sword given to the very first daimyo of Grass by the Second Kazekage upon its established independence from Fire. The sword Konoha pilfered during the Third Shinobi War, the one we were meant to gift to our daimyo. The one Orochimaru stole the day he was forced out of Konoha, the day he was caught attempting bloodline theft. It’s like something snaps into place. He is everything I feared he is. My hands shake as I slide on the gloves Kakashi forced me to get. That sword is legendary for cutting through anything, regardless of material.

I lived a good life, and even though I’ve been nothing but ungrateful in this one, there’s an odd peacefulness to knowing I’d die as a line of defense for a kid who has no one else. For one who gave me companionship when I ruined this girl’s support system. I don’t mind dying, I don’t think. 

This acceptance settles me. My body still shakes, but I know it's because its automatic nature cannot accept what my heart has. I don’t know how long it will be before someone finds their way to us. We’re far from the only team to release our flare. There’s probably a few kids who couldn’t resist the temptation of opening their scroll ahead of time. More importantly…. There’s little chance this man has come here alone.

He brings the sword down to his side and spins it in his hand as his jaw resets. This time, it snaps into place. I untie my hitae-ate from my arm and move it around my neck. There’s a million ways to kill me, but something tells me brutality is his goal. I take a deep breath as the weight of the iron plate settles against my skin. There’s no point in running. The only thing I can do is drag this out as long as I can. I need to unarm him, somehow. The task feels monumental. I know I can’t sit still and do nothing. I fish through my things and toss eight small beads of glass into the air. My hands fly into combination after combination and I don’t bother on restricting my chakra like I usually do–there’s no time to worry about being wasteful. A set of four dust clones rush ahead, much closer to earth clones than their original forms. The marbles gleam in major hit points on their bodies and I start to weave the more intense illusions Kakashi had just started coaching me through. 

There’s no time for anything. My clones all carry stars and wire, working together to dig into pale flesh. Orochimaru contorts through them effortlessly and slashes away at two clones on his right. They explode into a shower of coarse gravel, thorns, and glass. Black smoke erupts around him. There’s one in each clone and one dose of itching powder. I didn’t think I’d need anything more intense for a fucking exam. I weave in illusions of my remaining clones sparking their wire alive with fire, of me positioning myself behind him while I wrap explosive tags on my weapons. 

He destroys the other clones and spins on his heel, dispelling the cloud of smoke with a short burst of wind. It isn’t the intense anger of before, but it's far from forgiving. He lands only a few degrees off his original position, his golden eyes landing on me almost instantly. I curse and leap away from my spot, but he doesn’t target me in the way I expected. I almost expect to get speared by a jet of wind as he seems to prefer, although I know for a fact he was the Third’s apprentice far longer than the rest of the Sages and he could easily do much worse. He doesn’t do that. He throws his sword at me like a spear and it throws me off for just a moment before I realize the momentum isn’t stopping . I turn sharply to my right and the sword follows like it’s a honed in missile. 

I don’t have time to even complain that this asshole can do this. I take a handful of weapons and try to throw it off course, but it adjusts with a wave of Orochimaru’s hand and knocks them away before returning to the chase. This is unsustainable. There’s something in me that screams primally when I pivot to my left, but the rushing blood in my ears can’t stop me. I close the gap between him and I in a few dozen steps. The sword follows anyway and it doesn't stop as I throw myself at the ground at his feet. My chakra absorbs the shock as I slam feet first before him. The ground shakes beneath us and I use my inertia to swing into a nasty right hook. There’s something surprised in his eyes as he flicks the sword aside and leans away from my punch. It fails to land and I step forward to catch myself, my eyes wide and angry. 

I twist and try again. My fist skims the fabric of his shirt as he finally pivots from where he stood. My chakra singes the cloth and makes the air between us simmer. His eyes narrow as he takes me in, entirely calculating. I grit my teeth and press the advantage he’s clearly letting me have. There’s something he wants, something he expects to see. I growl and grab more smoke from my weapons pouch. I crush the glass in my gloved hand and throw a punch, my chakra rushing out in a pulse across the muscles in my arm. If I make it out of this, somehow, it likely won’t be with a functioning hand. The hit only chances him, but it's enough. His shoulder pops clean out of its socket like a rubber hand and the smoke in my fist stains his clothes and fills the air between us. I duck out of range of his other hand, but I can’t dodge the kick to my chest once I’m crouched. I cut the chakra cushioning my knuckles and focus on bracing my back. I land flat to spread the impact and spring up with the remaining momentum. 

I’m armed with multiple tagged kunai when he steps out of the smoke, his clothes stained black and a hole burned on his shoulder. He pops his shoulder back with a manic frown on his face. 

“Who taught you that?” His voice is a low demanding hiss, something furious burning in his eyes. 

Even if I wanted to answer, I couldn't. My jaw is locked so tightly I think I’ll die with my tongue pressed against the roof of my mouth. I throw the knives in my hand and trigger them as soon as they land by him. The explosions don’t affect him at all. He moves so quickly I miss the movement between blinks. From one moment to the next, he clears the space between us. He rips away the headband from my throat and all but crushes my windpipe beneath his palm. 

“ Where did a civilian learn a technique that took a decade to perfect?” His voice shakes as he asks, almost a whisper in my ears. “ Who are you? ”

I gasp, my hands flying up to his wrist. I scratch instinctively for a moment before his words register. My chakra rushes through my tendons almost before I process the thought. I feel the warm rush of power flood my fingertips and squeeze as hard as I can, crushing oddly brittle bone. He drops me involuntarily. I land on my knees and throw another punch before I’ve even caught my breath, this one hitting his knee hard enough that it creaks beneath my knuckles. He takes a step back only to drive a horrible kick to my stomach. I know, in a distant sort of way, that at least one of my ribs has snapped. I gasp and look up, my eyes catching his. His hand is glowing green around his shattered wrist. There’s something in his eyes that chills me. 

It’s something that looks like betrayal. 

I try to get away, but he’s had enough of indulging me. He’s come to a conclusion and it’s not something he likes. His foot drives down onto my chest and pins me like a fucking bug. I grit my teeth against the groan of pain that bubbles out my throat. The adrenaline is keeping the worst of it away, at least. I try to think of something, anything, to help me. My mind jumps, inexplicably, to the weeks spent cooking fish with misapplied healing chakra. My hands spark to life with a sickly green hue. I grab his leg and twist, rolling over with my entire body weight. It’s entirely by luck that he used his injured leg to pin me down. It’s entirely luck that it breaks and knocks him off balance enough for me to shove him away. 

I get to my feet and stumble for a moment. I readjust my chakra flow, the chakra grows minty, and press it to my sternum. I can tell my reserves are emptying and doing so quickly. My breath hitches, but I press on. I use a burst of chakra in my legs to launch myself back into the trees. My hand shakes as I press it against my throat to help clear the swelling. Orochimaru’s hand shakes, but unlike mine, it’s not in pain. His abandoned sword comes to life and I know there’s little I can do to keep this going. He’s furious . I grab a fistful of senbon and prepare to kawarimi for my life. 

I throw a kunai down at him and a senbon across the treeline. The sword drills into where I stood moments before. He knocks the kunai away with the back of his hand. I zip around a few more times, my chakra steadily falling to 30% capacity. If I keep using the kawarimi, I’ll risk my organs. If no one gets here soon, it won’t matter anyway. I almost regret thinking this when I spot a shaggy head of blond hair. Sasuke is trailing behind him, his eyes trained on me. My heart trembles in fear. Orochimaru sends his sword straight at me. I fall to my knees, my left arm trembling as I held myself up while the panic set in. The sword sinks into the tree through my shirt and the upper layer of my right trapezoid ligament. My hand shakes as I sit straight and lift it to my shoulder. The sword isn’t piercing, thankfully. I pull my medkit out automatically while I watch my boys. Naruto is screaming at Orochimaru face to face and Sasuke is up in the trees. 

I wrap my shoulder in gauze and throw the sword as far as I can. I stand up, taping down the bloody gauze. I look from Sasuke to Naruto one last time, taking in the muted rage in Orochimaru’s posture. I take a deep breath and kawarimi down into the field, shielding Naruto and meeting Orochimaru’s calculative gaze. There is no universe in which I’d ever let either one of my kids face this.

Orochimaru’s face twists into a scowl. I squeeze my blood-slick fists, the leather creaking in the tense silence between us, and breathe out. I increase my chakra flow through my body and take a few steps back, forcing Naruto near a tree.

“My name is Sam,” I rasp. “And nobody had to teach me how to use my body.”

Notes:

This chapter fought me tooth and nail y’all. There’s no world where Orochimaru doesn’t absolutely stomp any team seven kid before the age of 16 and they kept reminding me of that when I wrote. The only way I could see this being realistic is by having them emotionally compromised while fighting Sam.

Hit one: ‘someone like you.’ Orochimaru has a strong gaydar, so when they saw Sam, they were like: omg a trans child in this shit village. Just like me fr. Then Sam hits them with that comment, meaning he thinks they’re a pedophile, but Orochimaru takes it as transphobic rhetoric and gets upset bc they’re like: damn, i was gonna let you live and everything. Ungrateful.

Hit two: the super strength. Orochimaru has major abandonment issues, and I think that this is especially true with Tsunade. I head canon that they were always the closer pair in their team and the one they confided to each other in until Nawaki died under Orochimaru’s care after the Second War. They're upset irrationally because Tsunade left the village way before Sakura was born, but in their head they think Sam’s some sort of bastard Senju, and they're mad Tsunade wouldn’t have told them that (i headcanon that the reason they started up the mokuton experiments was to ease Tsunade’s loneliness as a Senju bc that’s what they wish they could do for themselve. Bro just doesn’t understand morals.)

Why didn’t Sam recognize Oreo on sight: in this universe, none of the sages regardless of their loyalty are in the Konoha bingo books due to the Third’s grief over them. The textbooks have no photos of Oreo and avoid mentioning them when they can

Also, Sam’s so fucked he thinks of himself as the entirety of Team Seven’s mentor—including Kakashi.

Sam after promising he wouldn’t do reckless shit and risk his life anymore: (o_o)

Naruto: *covered in snake spit, growling ferally behind Sam*

Chapter 27: Forest of Death—Aptly Named

Summary:

Sam adds a body or two to the forest.

Notes:

Super short chapter, next chapter or two will be in third pov :D

There’s a moment of silence as Orochimaru’s eyes go from rageful to doubting. I can hear the puffs of smoke before I see them. The real Naruto is still behind me, but he’s swarmed the clearing with clones. There’s a vague sense of relief. It’s less strain on my system, it’s struggling enough as is. I transform into Naruto amidst the smoke and palm the rest of my irritants. I don’t get too close, sticking just on the outside of the throng of clones steadily swarming him. 

There’s noises in the background that catch my ear, noises that sound a lot like physical combat, but Orochimaru is still working through Naruto’s never ending stream of clones. He’s getting mad. I fall back and crane my neck, catching sight of some older teenagers getting closer to Sasuke up in the trees. I narrow my eyes and run as I drop my henge, pulling myself up with chakra. My shoulder aches and I can feel it bleed against the gauze. I scowl as my chakra buzzes around my body. Sasuke can handle the one in front of him, but two against one isn’t fair. 

I kawimiri to the second boy with sunglasses on and punch his sternum hard enough to launch him into the trunk of the tree we stand on. My chest feels tight as I twist my body with the punch. I wonder if my broken rib is digging into my lung. 

“Why the fuck is a Konoha team working for that bastard?” I hiss through the pain, my eyes narrowed on the bandana around his head. 

I run forward and drive my foot into his stomach to pin him down. I pull away the cloth covering his mouth and punch him across the jaw, his neck snapping loudly. Blood pools in his mouth—it looks like he bit through his own tongue— and I step away. I look at him critically and kick his body off the treetops. Frankly, malicious traitors deserve nothing less than death. 

I look back at Sasuke where he’s fighting a similarly covered Konoha genin, reserves if I’d have to guess, with clear round glasses. Sasuke clearly has the upper hand. I run down the tree and return to Naruto in the clearing. Orochimaru is systematically destroying his clones. We both see Naruto raise his hands to make more at the same time.

I don’t stop to think, I move. I sprint over to him, my blood pounding in my ears as Orochimaru does the same through the torrent of quickly-puffing clones. He reaches Naruto before me, grabbing him by the neck and slamming him back. I choke on a scream before the boy in his hand disappears in more smoke. Orochimaru narrows his eyes and turns to me instead. I can do nothing as he grabs my bad shoulder and throws me across the clearing. I gasp, the taste of copper coating the back of my throat. 

My instinct is to let my chakra flood the parts of me that are the most injured, but there’s very little left for me to reallocate. I keen and roll over, my eyes blurring as the pain sets in. I cough out the blood that threatens to spill up into my nose and gasp breathlessly as I try to keep my chest from rattling with the impact. There’s a heavy sense of dread that washes over me as I hear footsteps past my own heaving breath. There’s shouting all around me, but my head swims the more I try to hone in on it. 

I nearly vomit as I push myself onto my knees, my right shoulder throbbing as sweat sinks into the gash. I stumble for a moment as I get to my feet and turn with wide eyes to take in how completely screwed I am. My eyes jump around from Orochimaru to the new sets of people fighting around us. There’s proctors, but I can’t feel relieved when they’re fighting children from one of those small villages I’ve never heard of. I search desperately for my boys, for a single sign of hope that they’ll be alright. Orochimaru steps close enough that he’s all I can see. 

“This could have all been avoided,” he sneers as his hand snaps to my throat. 

I gasp and raise my hand to snap his wrist the way I did before, but he knows better by now. He grabs my hand with his and crushes it in one decisive moment. I writhe in his grasp, my vision blurring as I choke on a mixture of saliva and blood. Each attempted gasp deprives me further and further of oxygen. 

“Sakura!” 

The scream is so visceral that it snaps me into awareness for just a moment, just enough to see the red in Naruto’s eyes. Orochimaru’s fist tightens around my neck. I think we both feel it. The moment my throat caves in and my pained whines become near silent wheezes. He tosses me aside and I can’t do a damn thing to help myself. I can’t breathe. Everything hurts and I can’t get enough air into my system to fix the most critical damage. My vision blinks in and out. It’s like seeing the world in a slideshow. I think I’m hallucinating as I watch Naruto grow surrounded by a hazy red fog. 

I think I hallucinate the small creature—wearing clothes?—that launches itself at Orochimaru’s ankles. There’s a person sprouting arms at their back, and I think I see curls of black fire. I think I hallucinate a lot of things. Eventually, I stop hallucinating. There is nothing. 

Notes:

I’m not sorry <3

Chapter 28: The Boys

Summary:

Naruto and Sasuke directly after Sam’s demise.

Notes:

So initially I was going to publish Kakashi’s pov first, but I realized that I can’t fit him into the narrative with the boys with the way I want this story to go, so here we have Naruto’s brief pov and Sasuke’s slightly longer pov in a joint chapter that doesn’t so much blend as it does joins.

Orochimaru’s pov takes over most of Naruto’s, oops.

Medical gore: I’m not sure if it classifies as that? Someone let me know once they read it if I should summarize at the end for anyone who wants to skip.

 

Nothing Left — Naruto

Naruto’s world stops the moment he sees Sakura’s body drop like lead against the forest floor. She’s not breathing. She’s barely blinking. He feels nothing for a moment. Then she starts to seize and all he can do is feel indescribable rage. It feels like the moisture is sucked out of the air around him. He feels a thunderous hatred grip his heart as he stares at the man whose reduced Sakura to a body spewing out rose colored foam between pale lips. 

He can tell, distantly, that someone is screaming their throat raw. He turns his head and watches as one of the genin who inexplicably appeared at Orochimaru’s call burns beneath black flames. The rage he feels is cold until the moment Sakura stops moving at all. Then, it explodes. 

He’s on Orochimaru from one moment to the next. His skin feels like it’s on fire as his hands fight to grab onto anything. Something scurries off, a dog or some sort of abomination the forest houses, but he doesn’t care. His claws, because that is what his fingers have become, dig deep gouges into the earth as he becomes more animal than human. Orochimaru spits out a tidal wave towards him. The water evaporates into hot steam before it has the chance to touch him. 

Naruto’s eyes are wide, completely locked into his target. His chest pulses with a primal need to rip this man’s throat out. There’s nothing he can focus on but the memory of Sakura’s throat crumpling like a wrapper beneath this man’s hand. Naruto’s teeth ache with the need to sink into his flesh, to rip open his stomach and watch him writhe the way Sakura did. He cuts his line of thinking, or at least he tries to. It feels like there’s something forcing him to rewind what he’s seen. 

He lurches forward again, pouncing on four limbs. Orochimaru swerves out of the way and tosses a kunai with a paper tag attached to it. The paper explodes as soon as it enters the radius of the pulsing chakra around him. Orochimaru narrows their eyes and sends another kunai, this one wrapped with a normal sheet of paper. It burns away almost instantly. They’re forced to switch tactics. The chakra around Naruto is too corrosive to take him down by force. 

Orochimaru slams their hand against the ground, raising a physical barrier between themselves and Konoha’s jinchuriki. They slide their thumb over one of their teeth and smear a line of blood down their arm, summoning two snakes to relieve their underlings from their fights with Konoha’s mediocre forces. They quickly take stock of the situation. Their summons, an actual genin team from Oto, two low chunin-level Konoha turn-coats they put Kabuto with, a dog, and four Konoha chunin proctors. Both of Kabuto’s teammates are dead, one on the ground where the civilian kicked him down decisively and the other caught in the lower branches of one of the trees. 

One of the sound genin is dead, charred beyond recognition by Sasuke. They glance at the two–Zaku, it seems, is the one who fell victim to a fireball. The wall shakes and he has no time to find Sasuke. Their fingers twitch in annoyance as the wall shakes again. They don’t know where Kabuto is and their Sound Four are in the hotel they were staying in posing as the Kazekage’s personal guard. Orochimaru grits their teeth and swerves out of the way of a giant boulder thrown their way.

They cast an annoyed glance at the jinchuriki and let their eyes dart across the field in search of the purpose of their visit. Sasuke is bowed near his dead teammate’s body, covered in blood that probably wasn’t his own. Orochimaru can hear the rapid approach of what he assumed was Konoha’s back up. Orochimaru makes two shadow clones and rushes in with them to pin the jinchuriki down. The clones pop as soon as their hand finds the seal on their stomach—ah, a reaper seal. 

Namikaze must be rotting in the dreaded thing’s stomach. Orochimaru’s fingers glow blue against the corrosive red chakra as they add a five layer array atop the eight layers holding the beast back. They dance away with burns they’ll easily be able to shed away. Threat contained, they swat the child towards the incoming unknowns and dart back to Sasuke’s last seen position. They had wanted the satisfaction of making this theatrical—of crushing Konoha in their palm and having their biggest asset walk away of his own volition, but they don’t know how viable that is now. 

Probably very, they muse. Konoha’s security has only gone downhill since Tobirama’s death. 

Orochimaru comes to a halt a few paces in front of Sasuke. 

In My Hands — Sasuke

Sasuke can pinpoint the exact moment Sakura’s chest stops moving. He sees it across the clearing, his hand squeezed tightly around bloody metal tubing he’s ripped out of someone’s arm. It feels like he stops breathing too. The metal sears into his hand until he’s forced to drop it. He can’t tear his eyes away from her unmoving body. He hardly processes it when he crosses the clearing, doesn’t know how he got away from the three genin cornering him or why a tiny dog is at his heels. All he knows is that one second he’s in the trees and the next he’s kneeling by Sakura with a knife against her chest. It cuts through clothes and flesh alike.

Her heart isn’t beating, and that’s something he can see now. He drops the blood-slick knife and pumps her heart manually with an almost desperate fervor. He tries not to focus on the way the tubes around her heart contract. He drags his gaze upwards to her throat and with it his dominant hand. He thinks of the feeling of her chakra when she set his broken nose and does his best to not fuck it up, but there’s a difference in setting bone and healing fragile tubing. His vision isn’t blurred thanks to the sharingan, but he can feel the warmth down his face. 

His breathing is labored as he focuses on the way Sakura’s chakra is moving beneath her skin, using it as a guide for how hard he has to push. It starts to trickle through her throat. Sasuke doesn’t blink as he watches the faint blue lines, dripping like sand in an hourglass, thicken into something more stable. He leans down closer to her face and focuses on reinforcing the muscle. He hears a faint wheeze and sits up in a flash, eyes intently focused on her chest. One side fills weakly with the air while the other lays flat. 

He retracts his hand from over her throat, catching the sight of chakra-burns on her neck, and lowers it to the two ribs pressing against her lung. It’s not punctured. It’s this that gives Sasuke hope. They’re fractured horribly and bent in such a way that he knows he’s going to have to break them further to set them in a better position. Sakura’s heart pulses between his fingers. He doesn’t know if she’ll have the capacity to wake up on her own–doesn’t know which option is worse. He takes a deep breath, the taste of copper coating his teeth, and bites the bullet. 

It’s easier to snap her ribs with his hands than he thought it’d be. Sasuke’s face is set in grim stone as he pushes them away from her lung and back down to mirror the others. His hands glide to the bone where he solders them in place for a moment before healing them more gently in others. He knows at once that this will be a problem down the line, but his main concern is ensuring Sakura survives long enough to feel the after effects of his shitty work. Her lung is only collapsed where her ribs pressed against it. Sasuke wipes his hand against his shorts and looks for a needle in his weapons. The dog that followed him is barking like crazy. He looks at it for a second and realizes the pug must be Kakashi’s. 

Sasuke takes a breath out and refocuses on the task at hand. He doesn’t know if he’s doing this right or if he’s about to make everything worse. He tries to think desperately of those medical texts he stole out of Sakura’s room and tries to recall if this is fatal left untreated. He lets go of the breath he’s holding and slides the needle between her ribs and her lung. He can just make out the soft-hiss of air flooding out. Sasuke breathes out shakily, his head swimming as his body relaxes just a fraction. He grabs Sakura’s wrist and gently cradles her hand with his. It’s broken in seven different pieces from what he can tell. His fingers skim over her palm and his eyes focus on where her chakra is flowing. 

He sets the bone enough for it to not get worse with movement, unsure if there’s still shards that can poison her bloodstream in time. He removes the needle from her chest and works on closing the nearly nine inch incision he made against her chest. The rest of her injuries are survivable. They’re both covered in blood. He thinks he’ll find it beneath his fingernails for the next month and she’ll have it permanently etched into her skin where he’s almost certainly left scars and burns on her body. His entire body shudders and lurches as he finally processes the chakra-drain he’s taken. 

He barely remembers to turn his sharingan off as he folds over himself and presses his forehead to the grass. The cold helps balance out some of the nausea. He finds himself muttering the few prayers he remembers his mother teaching him, general sayings for day to day protection. He doesn’t know how real they are, now that there’s only him to say them. Doesn’t know if the Gods care to hear the words of a singular survivor, but if there’s a chance they do, he has to try. 

He doesn’t think he’ll ever receive the favor his clan has before him. It’s too late for that, but maybe he’d at least be enough to be kept an eye on. Right now, he could really use that. There’s noise just a foot or two away from him, an intentional rustling of grass that shinobi at ease make out of courtesy. Sasuke takes one more breath and sits up, his vision swimming. It takes him a moment to realize the alert was not out of courtesy, but gloating. 

It’s Orochimaru, with no sign of Naruto. Sasuke’s heart trembles and he bows his head. His body tenses and flinches in an aborted attempt of movement, but something keeps him rooted to the spot. Maybe it’s his exhaustion, maybe it’s how low his chakra is, but maybe it’s much simpler than that. Maybe it’s just fear. Orochimaru laughs and steps closer. Sasuke’s fingers clench against his knees as Orochimaru crouches in front of him. 

He flinches as paper white skin makes contact with his blood and dirt caked chin. It’s such a delicate touch. Sasuke can’t remember the last time someone treated him so softly. His chin is tilted up so he’s forced to look him in the eyes. There’s something deeply amused in Orochimaru’s eyes when Sasuke offers no resistance. He should be trying to free himself, but he feels like he’s having an out of body experience. 

It’s strange, witnessing something horrible happen to you without being able to do anything about it. He watches on numbly as Orochimaru’s fingers shimmer with a dark purple sheen and press above the space of his collarbone. He can hear the slight hiss of heat on skin, but he can’t feel the pain. His vision is blurred enough as it is, but the influx of foreign chakra into his almost empty system is enough to make him pass out entirely. He takes in a small gasp of air before his body seizes entirely. He falls like a puppet with its strings cut off and knows no more. 

Notes:

Can you believe the original idea was having Pakkun take the curse mark for Sasuke and perma-die in this story?

About the cursed seal: Yeah, I’m not going to write a full adult essentially marking a child with their teeth. I know it was done to be body horror in the show, but in this context, the body horror wouldn’t be a part of it and you’d just have a full adult with their fangs in a child. As many jokes as there are about the cursed hickey, we’re not doing that here, thanks.

Naruto: I was also initially going to let him escape the chakra messing seal, but Orochimaru screamed at me for taking their canon devious-y.

Kakashi’s pov in the works as I rewrite my initial attempt.

Also spoiler alert: I’m not a medical expert. Uh, I graduated from the school of Grey’s Anatomy and that’s what I worked with here :D

Chapter 29: Mole

Summary:

Kakashi gets a front row seat to a questionably approved information dissection and freaks out over what they learn.

Notes:

Changed warning to ‘graphic descriptions of violence’ because of this chapter, take that as you will. Warnings on bottom note for those who feel apprehensive.

Kakashi doesn’t consider himself to be the most pragmatic person most of the time. There’s very little in life that can drive him to be reasonable or responsible the way he was in his teenage years. That is, until it comes to this, apparently. He watches Sam walk back into the exam hall with a cold sort of detachment. He doesn’t return to Gai, instead he heads straight to the T&I headquarters. There’s been a strange sense of urgency in the upper ranks. One that has pulled once retired Anbu agents back onto the roster before they could finalize the process. Including him. He doesn’t bother speaking to the receptionist in the office. He heads straight into Dokuraku’s office. 

The man is swamped with work. There’s a kunai flung at his head the second he pushes the door open that Kakashi dodges wordlessly before he lifts his sleeve to expose the Anbu brand. Mawashi looks up with a fist full of weapons before sighing wearily. 

“Who the hell let you down here?” He asks, returning to his work. 

“There’s been a leak.” 

He stops writing and curses so violently, Kakashi has to assume he’s been waiting for confirmation on this exact thing. 

“What department?” He asks with a frown.

“Missions has been confirmed compromised. There’s an older Konoha genin with mission stat cards that appear with a pulse of chakra, suggesting a proficiency with seals or at least access to someone who is.” 

“Genin corps?” Mawashi asks, sliding a blank sheet of paper towards himself as he begins to write. 

“Not from what I know, but it’s possible. That isn’t the only concerning part. He doesn’t just have access to our genin’s mission history, but also the other nations that have come to participate in the exams.” 

Mawashi’s jaw clenches as he continues to write. “Such as?”

“All of the Kazekage’s children and some of the genin from Ame and Sound.” Kakashi informs dutifully. 

“Do you know who the genin is?” 

“No.” 

The silence stretches for a moment. They both know that’s a horrible sign. 

“Descriptors?” Mawashi asks after a beat of silence. 

“5’10”, gray hair that falls past the shoulder blades, black eyes, average build. He wears silver-rimmed round glasses. He seems to be part of the medical sector.” 

Mawashi’s teeth grit. “There must be more of them, for him to have access to what he does. The information isn’t particularly closely guarded, but it’s still something no normal genin should be able to access.” 

Kakashi says nothing as Mawashi presses a seal beneath his desk. About a minute later, there’s a short blond woman knocking on the door. Mawashi hands her a slip of paper with the leaker’s physical description. She nods and leaves without a word. 

“Is there anything else you feel I should know?” Mawashi asks. 

Kakashi thinks to the memory he’d received. 

“He approached a team of clan heirs with the information, taking a specific interest in the Hinata Hyuga and Shino Aburame.” 

Mawashi rubs his temples and grimaces. “I need you to call Inoichi and tell him it’s an emergency. Tell him to bring Shikaku Nara to the department at once for a meeting with Mitarashi and the analyst and investigation teams.” 

Kakashi nods and leaves. He doesn’t have the full picture, but even so, he can tell that something is worse than they thought. It’s a gut feeling, though he can admit that it’s tinged with a fair amount of paranoia.

He finds Inoichi running analytics for the forest of death. A couple of chunin teams had been sent in to relocate the worst of the creatures crawling in the forest—the really small ones you can’t see coming until it’s too late. He’s speaking to a team of homeland guards, taking stock of what was moved and to where. 

Kakashi clears his throat. “Inoichi-sama, I need to speak to you in private. Urgently.” 

Inoichi puts the cap onto his marker and sets it down. He gestures for the people in the room to sit. 

“Everyone take a break. I’ll return shortly.” He says casually, his pupil-less eyes drifting to Kakashi’s face in curiosity. 

They move to an adjacent room and spark up a privacy seal. Kakashi doesn’t beat around the bush. 

“You and Nara-sama are needed for an emergency meeting with Anko and Mawashi as well as a few others.” 

Inoichi sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “What is the nature of this meeting?”

“A security breach, sir.” 

Whatever annoyance Inoichi felt washes away to skin paling surprise. He nods and dismantles the security seal. 

“I understand. Monitor the situation as you see fit within your confines.” Inoichi adjusts his sleeves for a moment before he meets Kakashi’s eyes. “I’ll dismiss my meeting and collect Shikaku after.” 

“Understood,” Kakashi responds blithely. He bows and leaves, intent on scouting the suspect through the first exam.

Kakashi ensures Ibiki knows he’s there, along with why he’s there, and settles against the wall with the other chunin. His eyes are trained on the classroom’s entrance. Genin file into the room one by one, but he has eyes for only one. He searches for the teenager he recalls and keeps an eye on him the entire exam. Kakashi stops the proctors from calling out his suspect’s cheating, his sharingan swirling as he takes in his movements and the way his eyes dart around the room from time to time. 

When his target realizes that Ibiki isn’t calling out his cheating, he stops filling in the test. Kakashi’s eyes narrow onto the name scribbled out on top of the paper. Kabuto Yakushi. He tries to think if he’s ever heard the name and comes up blank. He leaves the exam hall in favor of searching the hospital records for anything that could tell him more. His patient files have him marked down as an orphan. He gets regular checkups, gets his shots when he must, goes to dental appointments regularly. He’s a model patient, no psyc flags, no nurse complaints.

As it turns out Kabuto Yakushi also works regularly in the hospital. There’s a lot of shadowing work under his name, but nothing unsupervised. Every year he’s been recommended for a promotion by his lead supervisor, the nurse in charge of all the interns. Her file would be a lot harder to get than Kabuto’s, and frankly, he doesn’t really have the time. Kakashi flips through the pages, scanning the written reports of Kabuto’s work. 

He has an excellent track record with the nurses and patients alike, often getting praised and put in leadership positions among his peers. Year after year, he gets recommended for the chunin exams only to flunk out just before the combat portion. Kabuto should have been bumped up to an in-village chunin on some of these cases alone-–the complexity of them is nothing to sneeze at.

Kakashi takes note of the lead supervisor’s name. He’d have to request an investigation on her. It would do well to investigate the other genin most often around Kabuto. The ones who haven’t changed rotation as often as they should be. He makes a note of their names too, his face growing grimmer by the minute. He was hoping this would be shinobi paranoia, but once is a coincidence and twice is a pattern. He puts the files back in place and returns to the exam hall to not only monitor Kabuto, but those few other names that keep appearing around him. 

It’s strange watching these could-be traitors. The genin around Kabuto are distinctly different from him. They look genuinely worried about passing the exam. They’re trying not to get caught as they cheat, displaying normal signs of anxiety and a single-minded focus on the task that Kabuto simply isn’t. If they’re actively working against the village, they’re clearly not high up enough to know what the greater goal is. 

The exam crawls by. Between the time Kakashi left and came back from the hospital, Sam had finished his exam. He was doodling pictures on the back of his test—tigers? Gods above, of course he was still stuck on those ridiculous tattoos. Sasuke finished his exams shortly after Kakashi returned, doing math on the back of his exam of all things. Naruto was staring down at his blank paper, bless him, with such an acutely distraught look that Kakashi was almost surprised he hadn’t burst into tears yet. The Yamanaka whose friendship Sam had apparently killed violently is staring at the back of his head almost obsessively. 

Ah, poor sod. That’s a look Kakashi is very familiar with. Not every Yamanaka has that tendency, but he’s not surprised Inoichi’s daughter’s inherited it from him. That’s the face of a Yamanaka that wants to forcibly rip your brain apart until they understand what you think, when you think it, and why. He looks at the other heirs in the room. Shikamaru’s expression as he watched Inoichi’s daughter is the exact same face Shikaku’s wife makes watching Shikaku leading his underlings around by the nose. Choza’s son, for his part, looks completely unbothered by it all. 

The Hyuga heiress has her head down, but under her sleeve are a bunch of little beetles guiding her hand to form the answers on her exam. The same is being done for Kiba, obviously at the hands of the Aburame heir. At least it’s more subtle than her cousin brazenly using his byakugan to cheat off one of the chunin plants. The little fucker even had the audacity to glare at one of the (supposed to be) hidden chunin proctors for flagging him as cheating. Guy’s mini-me is cheating off of their female teammate, who’s—Good gods what the hell is that monstrosity and how did she get it set up without getting shut down completely? 

Some of the proctoring chunin are giggling about it, so he can only assume they found it funny and let it slide. Sage almighty what the fuck. Kakashi hates kids sometimes. He doesn’t know why she had four reflective panels, how she had the ability to set it up without her fellow examinees taking notice, or how she’d also managed to tie them to her fingers so she can control the reflections. It’s all so horribly over the top, conspicuous, inefficient, and completely like Gai. 

Kakashi shakes his head, his eyes returning to Kabuto. The forty-five minute timer rings. Anko comes in swinging, deranged as ever. Her smile is all teeth, and although she doesn’t linger over Kabuto’s form longer than any of the other chunin-hopefuls in the room, it’s still like she’s smelled blood in the water. Anko, more than most, has a grudge against traitors. He watches as everyone is herded out of the academy. The chunin proctors begin to dismantle the complex array of genjutsu on the administrative building they used, revealing other rooms and stairwells previously inaccessible to the test takers. 

Kakashi waits until Ibiki’s done collecting the exams before he approaches for a more in-depth update on what’s going on. The meeting is probably still on-going, for all that Anko had shown up to do her duty. When Ibiki leaves for the meeting, Kakashi goes with him. He’s sure Anko’s been instructed on what to do about Kabuto, but he needs to be there when they find out just how much information has been leaked and to whom, if only to ease his own anxiety. 

He probably shouldn’t be allowed entry to the meeting, but Kakashi has barged into more important meetings before. He doubts he’ll get in trouble for it now. Not when he’s proved his loyalty in every possible way, short of giving his life. Permanently, anyway. 

The meeting room is in one of the upper sublevels of the T&I building. Inoichi, Shikaku, and Choza all looked stressed in one way or another. It’s a logistical nightmare. Shikaku is busy talking to the genin corps leader on rehashing what genin have access to. Mission records, going forward, were not going to be part of that list. The chunin will be completely stressed about it, but it’s the temporary fix they’ve decided on. Choza is intensely focused on delegating responsibilities. He has a thick file of suspicious characters in front of him. Kakashi catches sight of one of Suna’s jounin in the mix and feels his eyebrow twitch. 

That… is not a good sign, all things considered. Inoichi, for his part, is discussing something with whom Kakashi recognizes as Ibiki’s direct underling. He catches something about cell preparations and an argument on what Inoichi can and cannot decide on his own as lead interrogator. Inoichi has a face that screams ‘don’t tell me how to do my job’ while Ibiki’s underling looks so blank that Kakashi has to assume there’s either nothing in his head, or so much that he’s perfected a customer service expression of neutrality. 

Choza gestures Kakashi over with a crook of his finger, already focusing on someone else by the next second. Kakashi walks over, catching the tail end of ‘Take team Bā with you’ from Choza to someone Kakashi’s pretty sure flunked out of anbu training. 

“Kakashi.” Choza dips his head in lieu of greeting. “I need you stationed outside of the interrogation room Inoichi will be occupying. Keep an eye on Feng.” Choza’s eyes momentarily flicker to the ground near Ibiki’s assistant. “Find me if something feels off.” 

Kakashi nods. He doubts it’s anything serious if Choza is treating it this mildly, but it’s good to be thorough. Choza glances up at the clock in the room, his lips twitching down for a moment. He lifts his hand in a half-wave before walking farther in the room to speak to Shikaku. Kakashi idles, hovering in the general vicinity of Inoichi. He looks up at the door of the room when Anko shows up with Kabuto knocked out over her shoulder. She looks almost nonchalant, but there’s an edge around her eyes that show how mad she is inside. Inoichi abandons Feng without hesitation, striding over to Anko. 

Inoichi cuts to the chase, forgoing greetings. “Perfect timing. The holding cell’s ready.”

Feng looks a little annoyed at this. “Sir, the protocols—“

Inoichi waves dismissively. “Are under my discretion, and my discretion says this is a top priority and can forgo additional checks and balances. Lord Hokage is busy securing the borders as it is. I can handle this.” 

“There are other departments to consult,” Feng argues. His annoyance shows in the lines of his lips, the small tightening of his brows, but his body remains relaxed and alert. “We already have him in custody.” 

Inoichi doesn’t glare, but it’s a little obvious he wants to. “If reprimand comes from my decisions today, rest assured, I’ll accept whatever may come of it. Now. Anko, we’re taking Yakushi down to sub-level F-7.” 

Kakashi watches as Feng’s eyes widen just a bit. Anko scoffs, but there’s a vindictive glint in her eyes. Kakashi can only assume floor F-7 is not somewhere you want to find yourself. He assumes Ibiki is down there already, securing the room with his personal brand of sadism. Feng’s expression turns icy as his gaze lands on Kabuto. There’s no sympathy, just professional detachment and a touch of distaste. 

Kakashi silently follows the group as they walk to the staircase at the end of the hall. Feng walks besides Inoichi with Anko and him following them down. Feng doesn’t look his way, but Anko eyes him vaguely like he’s doing something she doesn’t approve of. Kakashi waggles his fingers without raising them higher than his thigh. Her eyes snap to them and she scoffs before resolutely ignoring him. That’s fine too. Kakashi’s only here to keep an eye on Feng. 

The stairs are wide enough to accommodate three people shoulder to shoulder, but they remain in their groups of two. Kabuto is well and truly passed out, restrained by some seal Kakashi hasn’t seen before. Then again, it’s been six years since he’s gone on a retrieval mission. Just the thought of it makes Kakashi’s bones ache. He’s only 28, but he feels a dull spark at the base of his spine when he remembers all the bullshit he went through in anbu. It’s a miracle Raido’s still there. He’s going to burn through his nervous system at this rate. 

Kakashi continues to muse as his eyes absently trail over the people in front of him. Nothing jumps out as particularly odd, and yet there’s something unsettling about him. Kakashi wonders if it’s inner bias developed from Choza’s words. Kakashi lets his eyes wander away, not keen on annoying him. They go down several flights of stairs and the resulting level is noticeably colder than the stairwell they’ve just stepped out of. Kakashi can only assume it’s a deliberate choice, though he wishes it was contained to the cells and not the entire floor. 

“Here,” Inoichi intones, standing in between two doors. Feng hisses something that might be an expletive. Inoichi glances at him indifferently. “You were bound to witness one eventually.” 

Anko snorts, scuffing the toe of her boot against the stone. “Move aside.” She hands Kabuto over to Inoichi while she fiddles with one of her weapon holsters. 

Kakashi and Feng both do as she says. Feng’s face is grim, set in a straight line that doesn’t really match the blank look in his eye. Kakashi guesses it’s a sort of mild disapproval, like something he knows has to happen that he isn’t desensitized to yet. That conclusion settles Kakashi. Feng probably isn't used to—whatever this is. He looks at what Anko’s doing with a raised eyebrow. She’s dragging a senbon against the stone wall. Very thin rips appear, clean cuts against cleverly camouflaged rice paper. It burns away as she tears it and a small array in red ink is left at chest level. Inoichi taps it, triggering a preset earth jutsu that lowers a rectangular portion of stone. Inoichi steps in first, walking straight into the dimly lit stone room and lowering Kabuto none too gently onto the middle of the ground. 

Kakashi peers into the room, then at Anko, and lastly at Feng. Feng’s expression is back to stoic, not giving a single thing away as Anko narrows her eyes at him and urges him inside. She gestures for Kakashi to follow, and really, what choice does he have? Anko slips in last. She leans against the wall near the entrance, arms crossed as she stares down at Kabuto’s limp form. The stone rises again, fitting almost seamlessly with the rest of the wall. Kakashi blinks as his eyes adjust to the room. It’s incredibly small and noticeably empty of any equipment. It’s longer than it is wide, just over six feet wide and about thirteen feet long. The only objects in the room are the torches on the wall, of which only three are needed to fully illuminate the space. 

The most eye-catching feature of the room is the place Kabuto lies. It’s a sealing array of some kind, though Kakashi couldn’t begin to decipher what it could mean. He was never adept enough at mathematics for advanced sealing to stick. The array is both carved into the ground and painted with a shimmering black ink. Feng’s eyes are stuck on the same array, that grim look back on his face. Kakashi is hyper aware that he’s the only person in the room that doesn’t know what to expect. He tries to be okay with this. He’s gotten better at rolling with the punches over the years, but there’s still a small part of him that feels viscerally uncomfortable without control over any given situation. He glances at everyone in hopes of gleaming something that could tell him what to expect. 

Feng, despite the tight line of his shoulders, is a perfect mask of indifference, perhaps a coping mechanism of some sort, and Anko looks casual as ever. Not quite indifferent, but far from empathetic. As always, there was a cold satisfaction in her eyes. If Anko were a bit less self-disciplined, she’d make a ruthless bounty hunter. Inoichi crouches down near the circle and reaches in to take the paper seal off of Kabuto’s chest. He doesn’t wake up the way Kakashi assumed he would. His body doesn’t tense, doesn’t exhale, doesn’t move. Kakashi’s tempted to lift his headband to look for a sign of life. 

Eventually, Kabuto’s lips part just so. Kakashi releases a breath he didn’t consciously hold. He’s a little annoyed at himself for being concerned in the first place, but he can’t ignore how young the kid looks. It makes him uncomfortable, as much as he hates to admit it. Especially because this one is possibly a terrorist. He blames his team for making him acknowledge children as different from adults. Feng exhales almost exactly as Kakashi does, but it’s not in relief. He’s bracing himself. As Inoichi’s hands come up into the Yamanaka’s special brand of bird sign, Kakashi understands why. He grimaces slightly, a small pit of dread settling in his stomach before he gently lets it go. 

Kabuto will not leave this room alive. 

Anko idly flips a kunai in her hand, her eyes drifting from Inoichi to Kakashi and Feng. She stares at Feng a little longer, pausing in her flipping for a beat, and resumes without a word. Inoichi inhales, exhales, and kneels. His eyes unfocus, pupils the color of his irises shaking just enough to be noticed in the dim lighting. Inoichi’s body stills and Kabuto’s eyes fly open. 

His pupils are dilated, his body tensing and recoiling as he tries to orient himself. He manages to flip onto his hands and knees before he begins to curl in pain, an animalistic scream of pain tearing through his open jaw. Sweat is quickly forming along his temple, his entire body flushing red as drool spills from his open maw. Kakashi presses his lips together. The veins in Kabuto’s neck and along his temples are clearly outlined. His eyes are bulging so much that Kakashi is almost certain they’ll pop. They do. It’s a sickening sound and Kabuto hasn’t stopped screaming. 

Kakashi’s seen a lot of nasty shit in his life, but even he can’t curve the twinge of disgust he feels as he watches viscera paint the floor. There are nerve endings dangling out of his gummy eye sockets that Kakashi’s trying very hard not to look at. He averts his eyes just in time to see his eardrums burst next. He’s starting to see why Feng was so resistant to this. It’s sickening and he hasn’t had to compartmentalize in so long that he can’t stop the war of nausea that hits him. He looks up at the ceiling. The screaming, at least, is easy enough to tune out without the visuals. 

The screaming doesn’t stop so much as it tapers off involuntarily as Kabuto’s voice breaks and grows hoarse. He dry heaves until the sharp scent of bile fills the room, strongly suppressing the building copper tang of blood. There’s a dull sound, then another. Kakashi’s eyes flicker down as they form a steady beat against the floor. Kabuto is seizing. He’s a mess and it’s such a cruel, undignified, way to die. Kakashi has always considered this a real possibility of the job, something to accept and hope doesn’t happen to you, but he can’t stop focusing on Kabuto’s age. He can’t stop projecting his team in Kabuto’s place. He’s not really grieving for Kabuto, but for the odd future where this happens to one of his. It’s sympathy and dread for the situation more than for the bearer. 

The sealing array’s black ink sparks up in an ozone-scented burst. Kabuto sputters, heart forcibly kept beating. His nail beds are broken from scratching into the stone and every sound he makes is a pitiful whimper or creaking haunt. Kakashi carefully gathers his thoughts and looks at Kabuto. He carefully catalogs his wounds. He’s bitten through the tip of his tongue, blood flooding his mouth and staining his teeth. He probably can’t even hear himself, much less anything happening. Kakashi’s sure all Kabuto can process is the pain he’s experiencing. He forces himself to acknowledge Kabuto as a child, but an individual one. One separate from the ones under his care. A more realized ninja than he presented himself. A traitor. 

This situation is improbable for his team because none of them are traitors to the nation. This settles Kakashi enough for him to let go of his misgivings. Whatever Kabuto did was evidently bad enough to get his mind completely turned into mush. Every moment of his life is being ripped apart and filed into Inoichi’s head, never to return to Kabuto. He will die, has died, of the stress. He will continue to do so until Inoichi has extracted everything he needs. This is the consequence of bringing danger into the village. Kakashi watches as Kabuto loses his faculties over the next half hour, visibly regressing far back enough that he no longer has control over himself. His mind is broken, fundamentally reversed until the only thing it knows how to do is breathe and pump blood through his body. 

He’s not even fighting anymore. No more twitches of pain, no more desperate whimpers to make it stop. All that’s left is the body of a young man inhabited by the mind of a newborn. His memories are stripped away, his body shutting down to stop feeling. To protect itself the only way it can at this point. The room’s silence is thick. Kabuto’s body breathes in and out raggedly, each breath more shallow and coming later than the last. He shudders and collapses under his own weight. His back stops rising and the array does not restart his heart. Kakashi’s grim expression lands on Inoichi. He’s shaking out his shoulders, blinking as he comes back into awareness. 

“That,” he says, voice a little far away as he resettles into his own mind. “Was one messed up young man.” 

The silence keeps for a few seconds before Anko barks a startled laugh. Feng flinches almost imperceptibly, his almost panicked expression shutting down so quickly that it comes and goes like a trick of the light. The kunai is gone from Anko’s hand as she finally pushes herself off the wall. She gives Kabuto a final once-over. She’s the only one of them that managed to remain indifferent throughout the entire process. “Did you find what you expected?” 

“No,” Inoichi says cryptically, his voice an octave lower than his usual register. His eyes are troubled, too troubled to really take in the aftermath of his handiwork. “His mind… it’s like he didn’t know who he was in the first place.” 

Anko’s eyes narrow, her spine straightening. She doesn’t like the implications. Especially if it means the information could be compromised and its source is already dead. “MPD?” 

Inoichi waves his fingers dismissively. “I must speak with Shikaku and audit the process. Anko, I suggest you return to oversee your portion of the assignment. Be on your guard. Feng, I’ll need you to fetch me the paperwork to file all of this. Ibiki should have copies of it all. Kakashi, accompany me to meet Shikaku.” 

It’s the first time Inoichi’s directly addressed him today. Kakashi nods, eyebrows furrowed as he takes his place half a step behind the clan head. Feng leaves first, his pace just a bit hurried. Inoichi turns and finally looks at Kabuto’s corpse, his expression grim and considering. 

“How bad?” Anko asks quietly, eyes boring into the dead teenager. 

“Very bad,” Inoichi admits. “You need to be prepared.” 

Anko turns her head, not lifting it but looking at Inoichi nonetheless. “Me in specific?” Her tone is far from the sadistic front she likes to keep. It’s composed, apprehensive, unyielding. 

“Yes.”

There is nothing more to be said. Anko’s jaw sets firmly. “Good fucking riddance,” she murmurs tensely, venemous glare on Kabuto’s corpse. 

“You should leave before it gets suspicious.”

Anko nods and turns on her heel. Her trench coat sways behind her as she walks. Kakashi and Inoichi are left in the room, one contemplating and the other wondering how bad ‘very bad’ could be. Inoichi stands calmly, one arm held against his chest while his other rested on top of it, supporting his chin. His gaze is locked on the back of Kabuto’s head. 

“He was in love with him,” he says out of the blue. “Orochimaru. I can feel it. He was… besotted, even. In love with his mind, in awe of his power, reliant on his attention. When I was in his mind… Kabuto didn’t feel like he was a person unless Orochimaru was there to witness his existence.” 

Kakashi winces at that. “He’s a child.”

“He’s nineteen,” Inoichi says, and although it’s a rebuke, it feels like agreement. “He worshiped him. Idolized, I guess. Orochimaru gave him an identity. A proper one that he could almost believe was the real him. His mind is… was confused by itself. He’s not just a spy. He wasn’t trained to do what he’s been doing since he was eight.” 

Kakashi’s eyebrows inch upwards. “He’s been a spy for over a decade?”

“Like I said, he wasn’t trained for it. He just—stumbled into it.” Inoichi’s monochrome eyes shift towards Kakashi. His focus is on the man in front of him, staring at him like he can read his soul if he looks hard enough. “Dispose of him,” he says eventually, once again falling silent with that distant look in his eye. 

“Yes,” Kakashi agrees without pause, stalking past Inoichi and towards the sinister sealing array. He hesitates for a moment. “Are you…” 

“Myself?” Inoichi guesses. “Not all the way. But I will be. It’s harder when the victim doesn’t have a strong sense of self. I didn’t expect a spy to have that issue. I didn’t guard as much as I would have. I feel… complicated.” 

“How so?” Kakashi can’t hide his curiosity. 

Inoichi smiles thinly. “I wouldn’t know where to start.” 

Kakashi doesn’t press and Inoichi doesn’t follow up. He burns away what he can and puts what he can’t into a scroll to be sent to Konoha’s morgue for processing. Inoichi remains distracted as they exit and reseal the room. Kakashi tries not to focus on the rice paper’s regeneration as Inoichi does it, knowing it’ll just annoy him when he fails to figure out how it happens. He’s quieter and sometimes his gait is a little too far for his height. He has these moments where he has to reorient himself, like he keeps expecting to run into rooms that aren’t there or catch glimpses of people that aren’t present. It’s disconcerting to see, but Kakashi knows Inoichi will sort himself out sooner rather than later. 

He gets better once they’re on a less dreary floor. He’s still not his usual talkative self, but his expression is a mixture of grim problem solving. It at least means he’s back to thinking of the issues at hand as something to be solved instead of something he was meant to exasperate. As the silence stretches on, Inoichi inadvertently speeds up. Kakashi’s brows furrow as he’s forced out of his casual stroll to keep up with him. Kakashi draws the line when he has to skip a step just to keep up with Inoichi. 

“What is it?” He asks, pulling forward to catch sight of Inoichi’s face. His green eyes are flickering from side to side in rapid motions. His breathing has picked up, but he doesn’t answer Kakashi. Kakashi realizes Inoichi’s going on instinct while he sorts out whatever it is he’s sorting out in his mind. He stops dead in his tracks. Kakashi just barely stops himself from bumping into him. Inoichi is still for one precious moment. 

“Shit!” He snarls suddenly, breaking out into a sprint up the stairs. 

Kakashi rushes to follow him, both their feet pounding against the concrete stairs. Inoichi’s sorted out his feelings from Kabuto’s and now he’s left with the objective facts of what he’s seen. It’s a lot more than he had acknowledged at first. They sprint up approximately five flights of stairs before Inoichi stumbles into the original meeting floor. His pace lessons into a speed walk as he moves towards the office they had occupied before. Kakashi has a million questions to ask, but he has to wait until Inoichi finds Shikaku. He peeks into the room, but only Choza and his subordinates are in the room. 

Choza takes one look at Inoichi and pauses his conversation with a haggard looking jounin. “I’ll collect Shikaku, head to your compound.” He turns his face to whisper something to a slight woman with a black pixie cut. She nods and heads out of the room, brushing past Kakashi. She smells like nothing at all. It makes Kakashi’s jaw tense for a moment. She’s likely in the espionage department of Intelligence. Choza glanced over them again, his gaze lingering on Inoichi. His voice softens, if only just a fraction. “Ibiki is in his office for any paperwork you may need.” 

Inoichi blinks at this, nodding slowly. “Right. I’ll go retrieve it. I’ll see you soon. Come, Kakashi.” He turns to leave the office, his face permanently set with worry. 

“Sir?” Kakashi questions, a vague image of Ibiki’s subordinate flitting past his mind. 

“I know,” Inoichi murmurs tensely. “That’s why I’m going to ask.”

“He looked uncomfortable the whole time,” Kakashi offers. “Sick, almost. Maybe he just needed time to collect himself.” 

Inoichi hums. “What subdivision did Ibiki work for before he became Head of Interrogations?” 

Kakashi furrows his eyebrows. “He was an interrogator.” Was this a trick question?

Inoichi makes a ‘so so’ gesture with his hand. “Yes, but he wasn’t just an interrogator. He was part of the cleanup crew afterwards too.” 

Kakashi hums in understanding, his expression scrunching in disgust for a moment. He’s heard plenty of horror stories about the interrogation cleanup crew. “How is this relevant?” 

“Feng was his replacement on the cleanup crew when Ibiki got promoted. He worked there for a few years before being bumped up to Vice Director when Ibiki fired the last one.”

Oh. So he should be used to violence of that level. “Did he oversee interrogations or just the aftermath?” Kakashi asked wearily. There was a difference between seeing it happen and seeing the results. 

“Oh, he was there all right.” Inoichi’s tone is light, but pointed. 

Kakashi sighs. “It’s never easy, is it?” 

Inoichi’s answering smile is almost a grimace. If witnessing it wasn’t the issue, something else must have been, but Kakashi can’t begin to imagine what. Unless Feng did know something he shouldn’t. Something he knew Kabuto knew. Kakashi doesn’t want to jump to conclusions because if the Vice Director of Interrogations had something to do with this, it’s a much bigger issue than a few genin taking advantage of what was already in front of them. 

They get to Ibiki’s office under mutual silence. Ibiki is pacing, ink smudges on his hands as he reviews the T&I building’s floor plans. He glances at Inoichi and stops his pacing. “Feng already took the paperwork to your office.” 

“That’s good,” Inoichi says vaguely, gesturing for Ibiki to sit. Ibiki does, reluctantly, sit at his desk with Inoichi sitting across from him. He raises his brow bone expectantly. “Have you ever known Feng to be squeamish at all?” 

Ibiki leans back in his chair as he considers the question. “No. That’s why he was a shoe-in after I left. He had a nonexistent adjustment period.” Ibiki follows Inoichi’s gaze as he turns to look at Kakashi. 

“Right, well,” Kakashi sighs, unsure of how Ibiki would respond. “Throughout the extraction, Feng looked on edge. At first I assumed he was squeamish or not yet desensitized to gore under torture. Inoichi-sama has clarified that that cannot be the case. When the process was completed, Feng’s expression was one of panic. He left as soon as he was dismissed approximately twelve minutes ago.” 

Ibiki nods in understanding, a hard look in his eye. “That is concerning,” he drawls. “But hardly a reason to call the cavalry. I’ll begin an internal investigation and get back to you, Inoichi-sama.” 

“That’s all I ask.” Inoichi’s tone is light, even if the atmosphere is anything but. It’s a professional response, one Kakashi probably should have anticipated, but it does little to ease the anxiety it’s stirring in his chest. Inoichi hesitates for a moment before speaking. “And… I’ll likely summon you in a few hours. Please come promptly when I do. There is much to discuss.” 

Ibiki nods, unsurprised at Inoichi’s cryptic instruction. Inoichi nods back and pushes his chair out. He gestures for Kakashi to follow as he turns towards the exit. 

“We’re going straight to Shikaku. Urgently. When I say what must be said, I need to trust that you will be able to think objectively. Can you put aside your emotions?” Inoichi asks as they head towards the elevator leading to the upper levels. Kakashi nods, bewildered. Inoichi calls the elevator down. 

“I thought this had to do with…?” 

“It does,” Inoichi says as the elevator whirs. “But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t also involve people you care about.” 

Kakashi’s expression hardens as the doors slide open. “In what capacity?” They step into the gray elevator. It’s illuminated by a fluorescent white light. Inoichi clears his throat and presses the button that takes them to ground level. 

“As Orochimaru’s target.”

Notes:

On screen character death, graphic descriptions of violence, and gore. Torture is subjective, but the best way I can describe this is as non-physical torture with a purpose resulting in physical consequences

I don’t know how long the next chapter will be, but I’m not risking making this 6k long chapter a 10k long chapter, ngl. Especially bc it’s been so long since I’ve actually updated. Whoops

Writing this chapter felt like the embodiment of ‘Ricky, when I catch you Ricky—‘ I just couldn’t, for the life of me, get Kakashi as a character down.

Timeline might be a little fucked, but assume this chapter and the next happen over the first day and night in the forest of death. As always, unbeta’d.

I’ve updated the tags as this story steers in a different direction than initially planned.

Chapter 30: Too Much To Do, Too Little Time

Summary:

Kakashi learns a lot. It’s still only the first layer of shit cake.

Notes:

This is a very dialogue heavy chapter.

Kakashi finds himself sitting in Inoichi’s dining room, arms crossed over his chest with his eyes narrowed as he waits for Choza to make his appearance. Shikaku is smoking a cigar, some amber colored liquor in a glass to his left. He looks stressed in a way Kakashi has never seen. Kakashi can relate. Inoichi left him with a cryptic message he refused to elaborate on, and as soon as they reached his home, he left him in the dining room with Shikaku and disappeared into his cellar.

“I take it things haven’t gone smoothly on your end?” He asks wearily, knowing damn well Shikaku won’t appreciate being spoken to at the moment, but doing it anyway. 

Shikaku does look fairly annoyed, but he still gives in after exhaling spicy smelling smoke. “Do you understand sealing arrays, Kakashi? Large, complex sealing arrays that span the length of three houses put together.” His question is rhetorical, but it paints a very clear picture. Kakashi hasn’t finished shaking his head before Shikaku starts back up. “Not only big, but delicate. Okay? I’m talking about sealing arrays made by Lord Second himself. The last known Uzumaki apprentice in Konoha.” 

Shikaku’s devastated tone was enough to distract Kakashi from his anxiety. He let himself get immersed in Shikaku’s complaining, focusing solely on his deep timbre and the way his hands flexed when he was truly at his wit’s end. Shikaku is an intelligent man, one with too much understanding over a hoard of niche subjects. Sealing isn't one of them. In the entire village, four people truly understand sealing, and most of those people no longer have the means to pass their skills down. 

“You wanna know how desperate we are? We showed these highly confidential schematics to Umino-sensei. He almost threw up just looking at them, but the kid’s not the type to quit. He only got through half of Master Zhou’s lessons before he passed, so he dug up all the books he had and doubled down. I’m pretty sure he’s going to kill me in my sleep from bringing him into this case. What's he supposed to say, no?” Shikaku snorts. “He’s been looking at me like I owe him my first born lately.” 

“How long has he been looking at these arrays?” Kakashi asks wearily, not astute enough to visualize what Iruka must be working on. 

“Six days now. All he’s managed to parse out is that the arrays rely on the number of living things with mature chakra systems in their parameters. You wanna know why that’s really awful?” Shikaku scowls, expression souring even more as he takes another angry puff of his cigar. “Because a fifth of our village got wiped out by a tailed beast, a major crop plague caused a grain shortage, and we had a fucking massacre within the same fucking decade! Not to mention all the forest abominations the chunin killed off for this exam before we knew not to.” Shikaku rubs his temples. “The walls have been weakening chip by chip and we had no fucking clue because only Elder Shimura learned sealing under Lord Second and he never touched any Uzumaki techniques! He’s not even up to par with Jiraiya. He doesn’t have a high enough mathematical understanding to craft his own seals.” 

Kakashi raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t know Elder Shimura knew about sealing at all.” It makes him uneasy. Elder Shimura is dangerous enough without another skill set, foundational as it may seem.

Shikaku waves his hand, cigar ash landing on Inoichi’s nice table. He wipes it away half-heartedly, smearing his hand. “Just enough to standardize Konoha’s day-to-day seals.” 

Kakashi feels even more concerned. “He owns the licensing to–what, paper bombs?” 

“Storage seals, paper bombs, retrieval seals, stasis chambers, and a shit ton of little things I can’t remember at the moment.” His smile turns rueful. “All passed down to him by the Second in his will. He owns the seal arrays and manufacturing contracts.” 

Kakashi frowns, tongue running over his teeth in agitation. “And, what, he’s just sitting on all the income?” 

Shikaku shakes his head. “That’s another issue, but not entirely. 35% revenue goes to the village, 20% back to the manufacturers.”

“So he’s just sitting on 45% pure profit?” Kakashi tries to run the numbers in his head and fails. That’s an unimaginable amount of money if he has a monopoly on all seal-related sales within Konoha. “And the seals stay here exclusively, right?” 

Shikaku laughs. It’s not a nice sound. “All of Fire.” 

That’s at least four countries and three territories. He rubs his face, a little sick to his stomach. “Where does it all go? What could he possibly be doing with all that money?” 

Shikaku hums and picks up his glass. He swirls the liquid inside, wisps of clear-colored smoke coming off the liquor. “It’s not really our business, is it?” He asks lightly, eyes tired. “It’s private money going into a private account. His spending doesn’t have to be reported. He just has to submit clear numbers and pay the annual tax. But it is rather strange how quickly that money disappears. Without fail… every month, the same amount leaves his account, give or take a thousand or two.” He brings the glass to his lips and swallows some of the alcohol. “A specific accountant handles Lord Shimura’s accounts. His niece’s father-in-law. He was out sick for two days. Just two. He had a trusted colleague handle some menial tasks.” He sets the glass down and wipes his mouth. 

“You know, you really have to trust someone to do that kind of thing for you. Even the boring, day to day things. You never know what mundane data can spill to someone cunning enough to look. It’s important to have good judgement and to keep a clear head.” His fingers drum against the wood, cigar forgotten. “Did you know that Choza’s fourth cousin married out of the clan? It’s rare and it was only allowed because she didn’t inherit the Akimichi metabolism anyway. Doesn’t look much like them, parents passed. Nothing tragic, just old age. She married into a civilian family, middle class. Accountants by trade.” He brings the cigar back to his lips. “It’s funny… how meaningless events lay the foundation to important discoveries. Her husband’s sister works with Lord Shimura’s accountant. She’s always been closer to him than most.” His lips curl in amusement. “She likes to gossip and she likes her brother’s wife. Now, Kira, Choza's cousin, was never a shinobi. But you learn things growing up in a shinobi clan.” 

Kakashi nods, assumptions being made. He doesn’t need to hear Shikaku say it to know Kira told Choza what she found odd. Discreet enough to gossip along with her civilian sister-in-law, wise enough to bring it to her older cousin. No longer an Akimichi, but blood all the same. Loyalty unswayed.

“Kira’s sister-in-law is pregnant,” Shikaku says abruptly. “An affair baby she’s letting her husband think is theirs. Lord Shimura’s accountant knows. It’s his. It’s why he trusted her enough to see the accounts. She’s competent enough at her job, too slow to question what she sees. Does his spending really matter all that much?” He asks again, maybe to be cryptic, or maybe because he finds it sort of ironic. “It’s suspicious, at least. We’ve had it on the backburner for months. And then earlier today… A spy’s mind gets ripped to shreds. Demolished with no intention to rebuild. Seems unrelated. It could have been. It might be. Except that spy had memories of Lord Shimura visiting his orphanage. Often, at that. He remembers him visiting. Of kids leaving, disappearing, getting adopted by the people with Lord Shimura. I ask you only one thing. Where have those kids gone?” 

Kakashi’s mouth goes dry. That’s a heavy implication. Serious charges. Serious accusations. Where did they go? Who did Lord Shimura bring to those orphanages? Who did he take? Shikaku goes on, never intending to wait for an answer. Kakashi couldn’t give one if he tried. 

“I have Ensui looking through old paperwork, but it’s hard. The orphanage shreds their copies after a five-year period. He has to go far back into the village’s archives to find the master copies.” He snuffs the cigar out, actions a bit forceful. “Turns out most of it was handled by the Uchiha. They never trained anyone else on how the system works. It’s a fucking mess. The people in charge of it now, these stuck-up chunin who speak to no other department, are defensive and territorial. The Hokage signed off on their reassignment, but there’s no trace of who recommended them there. They’ve all got this dead-look in their eyes. Used to joke that it’s part of being a paper pusher, but now I wonder.”    

Kakashi swallows, staring at the ruined cigar. “You’re speaking as if this is all a huge conspiracy.” 

“Now you get it,” Shikaku says, leaning back in his chair like he’s challenging Kakashi to say otherwise. 

Okay. It’s a conspiracy. To what end? What goal? Why? “What does this have to do with Orochimaru?” He asks, failing to see the connecting point. “The Kazekage’s children?” 

Shikaku pauses and tilts his head. “Alright. It’s two huge conspiracies that happened to interlock in some spots.” 

Kakashi feels his eyebrow twitch in annoyance. “You’re kidding me.” It feels like a bad joke. 

He snorts and downs the rest of his drink. “I wish.” 

“I’m assuming the common link is Kabuto. He was involved with Lord Shimura?” 

Shikaku shakes his head. “I can’t say. Only Inoichi knows everything at the moment.”

Kakashi hesitates. “Do you know which one of my students caught Orochimaru’s attention?”

Shikaku hums apologetically, leaning back in his chair. “But I can make an educated guess and rule out your civilian-born.” 

Kakashi nods. He figured it wouldn’t be Sam. Naruto’s jinchuriki status isn’t well-known outside of Konoha, if at all. It’s most likely Sasuke he’s after, even if Orochimaru happens to know about Naruto. The allure of the sharingan has always been there, but now that there’s only one reasonably obtainable pair, it makes sense for Orochimaru to plan something. He just needs to know what. He needs Inoichi to sit down and tell him what he knows so he can make a counter plan. 

Shikaku pokes at the cigar before sighing and taking out a kunai. “Who am I kidding?” He murmurs as he slices off the ruined end and relights it. 

Kakashi’s not in the headspace to find it humorous. He rubs his jaw absently, wondering if he should pull his team out of the competition now and keep them by his side. It’s not feasible though, not right now at least. Tomorrow then. When he has the facts sorted out and he figures out how much he can tell them so they don’t resent him for ruining their chances of advancing their career. 

Choza shows up before Inoichi’s made his reappearance. He lets himself in through the front door and pushes his bandana up into his hair to ensure none of it’s in his face. He’s not wearing his armor and it inexplicably eases some of Kakashi’s anxiety. His eyes skip over Shikaku smoking dejectedly and hone in on Kakashi. He nods and pulls out the chair next to Shikaku. 

“Kakashi-kun,” Choza smiles at him with this oddly sweet energy that reminds Kakashi of the harvest festivals he and his father spent with Choza’s family when he was very young. “Did everything seem normal with Feng?” 

“No,” Kakashi says when he remembers how to breathe again. “But it didn’t seem completely abnormal either. Somewhere in between.” 

Choza reaches across the table to the fruit bowl Kakashi thought was purely ornamental. Choza starts peeling one of those beautiful oranges that double a normal orange’s size like he was the one who bought them. “Tell me about it.” Choza’s tone is very conversational, like he’s asking about Kakashi’s day and his introspections on it. Well, it’s almost that, in a way. 

Inoichi appears some time after Kakashi is done reporting what had happened and his personal thoughts on Feng’s behavior. He’s dressed in his old war uniform and his hair is down, framing his face. He sits at the head of the table wearily, blue eyes shaking side to side occasionally. Shikaku stops slouching, frowning in concern. Choza peels another orange and silently places piece after piece in front of him. Inoichi doesn’t react for a few moments. His head tilts down mechanically and he takes in a huge breath of air. He nods in thanks and picks up an orange slice, eyes settling as normal. 

“Sorry,” Inoichi croaks. “I had to take a moment to sort everything out.” He eats the orange slice and clears his throat. “So should I start with the bad news or the worst news?” 

It’s a rhetorical question. 

“Start with the most pressing,” Choza says in that same pleasant-yet-leading tone. 

Inoichi takes a deep breath and nods, rubbing his face like today had taken decades from his lifespan. “Alright. Okay. Orochimaru killed the Kazekage roughly three months ago.” 

The silence in that dining room is decidedly Not Funny. Everything stands still for a few precious seconds, and as everyone processes his blunt statement, nobody can stay silent. 

“Excuse me?”

“How?”

“Has anyone noticed?”

Shikaku, Kakashi, and Choza spoke over each other, thoughts quickly spinning and settling in different assumptions. 

“The Kazekage’s children—“

“What of the jounin we interrogated—“

“How did our spies miss this?”

Inoichi raises a hand and signals for silence. “Just—okay. Okay. Orochimaru killed the Kazekage last month and effectively took his place without neither his council nor his children noticing. Frankly, it says more about the Kazekage because he hasn’t been acting that different from himself.” 

Despite himself, Shikaku snorts. Kakashi has to remember that these are men who grew up as Orochimaru’s subordinates. Genin to a fearless jounin commander and war hero, chunin that interacted with him because of their positions as clan heirs, young adults that saw him as a person, maybe even something to aspire to, turned traitor. He tries to imagine knowing so much about one of them just to watch them leave in the worst way possible. He nips the thought at the bud. It’s a terrible betrayal, and that’s all he needs to know. 

“Does that mean that Suna is in cahoots with Orochimaru, knowingly or unknowingly?” Choza asks when neither Shikaku nor Kakashi speak up.

Inoichi sighs heavily as he nods, exhaustion in his posture. “Only a few high ranking shinobi know the plan and the why. Orochimaru met the Kazekage under the guise of discussing the Wind Daimyo’s outsourcing to cheaper Fire shinobi and a way for them to curb it. He’s using that same issue to press the council and he got his plan approved quite easily.”

“What’s his plan?” Kakashi asks, mind drifting once more to Sasuke. 

“The plan is for Orochimaru to leave several spies here to participate in the chunin exams. He’ll come as the Kazekage on the day of the fights, ensuring Sasuke fights one of his plants to gauge his skills. Before the tournament is over, he’ll sabotage their jinchuriki’s already weak seal and release the Ichibi into the village. During the fray, he intends to pull Hokage-sama away and kill him publicly while his plants kidnap Sasuke and take him north west towards Wind Country.” 

Once again, there’s much to unpack there. Knowing better than to speak over each other again, the three share a look. Choza shifts in his seat, silently taking the helm. “Why Wind Country?” 

Inoichi runs his fingers through his hair. “Orochimaru has dozens of bases everywhere. Dozens per country. Kabuto was aware of about 23 of them in total spanning from Fire, Wind, and Earth Country, but I think the total number of bases could be up to the upper 80’s. There’s a massive base in Grass. He was militarizing.” 

“Define ‘base’,” Shikaku said incredulously, expression twisting into a grimace at the mention of militarization. 

“It can range anywhere from a stronghold to a couple of rooms with medical equipment. It seems his primary endeavor since leaving Konoha has been to continue his human experimentation. Kabuto often played the part of his assistant and caregiver to whatever victims he ‘successfully’ modified.” 

“Sounds expensive,” Kakashi murmured, a bad taste in his mouth. Shikaku meets his gaze grimly. 

“You said the two conspiracies are connected in some spots?” Shikaku asks wearily. 

There truly is no way to describe Inoichi aside from ‘exhausted’. Every question seems to grate at his nerves more than the last. “Orochimaru has been in contact with Danzo a few times over the last five years. About twice a year consistently. Kabuto didn’t know much, other than hearing Orochimaru refer to them as ‘check ups’.” 

Kakashi rubs his face, perhaps a bit too aggressively, and resists the urge to snarl. Of course he has. It’s treasonous either way, but the level of severity depends on what Orochimaru meant by ‘check up’. 

“It did seem to genuinely mean health check ups,” Inoichi assures when he sees how agitated everyone at the table became. “But Kabuto was never allowed to see the charts.” 

“What could possibly be bad enough to accept the help of Orochimaru?” Kakashi growls, knee bouncing irritably. 

Inoichi shakes his head. He doesn’t know either. It would explain the money issue. Orochimaru needs funding for his hundred odd bases and Danzo needs a reason to spend it. Whatever he has that only Orochimaru can help with must be severe. Perhaps it’s the real thing that pulled him off the rosters when he was 46. For all that Danzo is now, one doesn’t get the moniker ‘War Hawk’ without merit. 

“So he’ll be here with Suna’s caravan. We have a few days to plan then. Danzo is secondary at the moment. We need to prioritize Hokage-sama and Kakashi’s student. Ideally, we neutralize the tailed beast before it has the chance to become an issue. It can’t be hard to find their vessel, there’s only three Suna teams participating,” Choza says, narrow eyes lost in thought. 

Inoichi hesitates for a moment. “I know who the vessel is. It’s the Kazekage’s youngest—the one we previously assumed the Kazekage was training to take his stead. The jounin hadn’t contradicted the information, even if he hadn’t endorsed it either, and we assumed it was a sign of us being right. In reality, the oldest was being trained. The reason she and her brother seemed so deferential to the youngest was because of fear, but for the wrong reasons. His seal is barely functional, only managing to physically stop the demon from escaping. Its mind has free access to the boy’s head. He’s operating on a falsified reality where he caters to the beast’s whims on the assumption of it being his mother. No one’s been able to convince him otherwise.” 

Kakashi feels cold. Shikaku’s mouth is open in disbelief. “How did it manage to convince him of that?” 

“From my understanding, the seal’s weakness is common knowledge in the village. The Kazekage’s solution to it was to isolate the child from the age of 4 to 10 with only impersonal guards for company. He’s currently 11 and has spent the last couple of months with his siblings for the first time in his life. That’s about the full scope of what Kabuto knew.”

Shikaku cradles his head in his hands. Kakashi truly doesn’t know what to say. What do you do about a deranged jinchuriki highly influenced by their demon that won’t lead to a complete meltdown?

“Is Jiraiya still in Kumogakure? We need him back as soon as possible,” Choza says as he taps his fingers against the wooden table. 

As with most things Kakashi hears in places he has no right to be, he files it away and makes no comment. 

“Everything else can wait,” Shikaku says as he rubs his temples. “Let’s report Orochimaru’s movements alone. Too much information will make us sloppy and do more harm than good. It’s happened before, let’s not let it happen again. Choza, can you start a draft? Inoichi, I’d like a more in depth run through if you’re willing.” 

Inoichi nods and they stand. They leave, muttering to each other with their heads bent close. Choza opens the pack at his side and takes out blank parchment and quills. He glances up at Kakashi. “They won’t be back anytime soon. We have time, prepare slowly. Anything that you deem important, write it down and bring it to me. Do not put this off. Inform Anko about the security breach. Both Suna teams, two confirmed Konoha teams. The new village, the Sound Village, is suspicious. Their village is registered to the Grass region in Fire, but Kusa hasn’t reported a word about a rival village. We haven’t had any intel about them either. Worst case scenario, it’s a four sided attack. Tell her to stay sharp. Don’t mention Orochimaru for now. It’ll make her irrational. I’ll talk to her once her portion of the exam is over.” 

Kakashi nods, mind falling into mission mode. He’ll update Anko first, write the reports next, and grab his gear last. It’s not an immediate threat, for all that it is pressing. “Understood. I’ll be back soon enough.” 

Choza makes a noise to show he’s listening as he goes back to writing. Kakashi takes a subtle breath before he pushes his chair out and leaves the Yamanaka compound. He’ll have to inform his pack. It’s been a long time since he’s touched anything Orochimaru related, but he doubts any of his pack will ever forget his scent after he and Tenzo picked apart old laboratories within the village. It was for closure back then. Kakashi allows himself a moment to feel weary and old. Then, he gets to work. 

Notes:

Please let me know if you’d like me to split the dialogue up further to make it easier to read.

Kakashi gets a lot of privileges, but not enough to be in the room where Inoichi pin boards and sits in the dread of everything he actually found. That’s where Shikaku’s heading.

Kabuto knows a lot too, but not everything, and most of the things he retained the most are medicine related. Well, knew. :)

Happy 30th chapter, who’da thunk I’d stick with Eclipse this long? I have a bad habit of dropping stories at around 50k words when I get bored with the narrative. As for the other uncontinued stories on my page, hmmm. They’re trapped in amber atm, but i might free them one day.

Chapter 31: All The Intel In The World Can’t Account For Spontaneity

Summary:

When has Orochimaru ever followed anyone else’s schedule?

Notes:

Medical inaccuracies ahead, more proof that Kakashi is a retired assassin specialist.

Kakashi’s in the middle of bringing out his mesh armor when Inoichi’s summons starts to frantically tap at his bedroom window. Kakashi hurriedly disables the traps and lets in the small lyrebird. It flutters, feathers puffed out in distress. 

“No time! No time!” It screeches in a slightly-off copy of Inoichi’s voice. “Forest! Spies attacking proctors!” It jumps around, grand feathers quivering behind it. “Now! Now!” Its voice warbles before breaking out into distressed ‘click click clicks’, copying the sound of its beak hitting his window. 

“Understood,” Kakashi growls in the same way he’d curse. He doesn’t bother shooing the bird away. He summons Pakkun on the spot. “Find my team. I’ll be there as soon as I’m able.” It’s only been a day and already things are going up in flames. Kakashi thought they’d have a week. 

Pakkun yips once before diving out the window the bird had come through. He’s tearing through the village at once while Kakashi throws his closet open and digs out his emergency kit. He hasn’t updated it in years, but it’ll have to do. He doesn’t waste time gearing up, just grabs what’s nearby and does what he can. He pulls on his jounin jacket and hopes it’s enough. Kakashi’s fingers don’t shake as he ties on his weapon pouches, he’s too well trained for that, but his heart is thundering against his rib cage. Kakashi’s hardly finished securing his tools when he throws himself out his window and towards the wall of the opposite apartment building. He uses chakra to stick to it and launches himself up onto the roof. He flash steps halfway to forest before he reminds himself that he’s useless if he’s working below capacity and forces himself to sprint the rest of the way. 

There’s no one guarding the edges of the forest, no one to stop him from hopping the fence and following Pakkun’s scent to the heart of the forest about twenty five miles out from the tower the genin were supposed to get to. The forest’s smell is a dizzying mix of decomposing corpses, fresh blood, damp soil, and a thousand other things he doesn’t have the time to pick apart. The farther he runs, the more he starts to hear echoes of several fights. Steel on steel, the rustling of leaves, the unmistakable sound of hissed gasps through clenched teeth. He’s already late. Kakashi is cycling enough chakra through his body that each step leaves an indent behind. Branches splinter when he lands and pushes off them, he cuts through the wind seamlessly, and he skillfully avoids surrounding fights. 

None of this is enough to get him there in time to stop Orochimaru from branding his student. Kakashi’s growling before he even has time to process the feverish smell of two of his kids. What he wouldn’t give at this moment to have the Inuzuka’s arsenal to personally rip Orochimaru’s throat out. He speeds up, chakra condensing and sparking after him as he torpedoes towards his target. The air stills and rushes around him with a loud pop as he throws himself directly at Konoha’s greatest traitor. Orochimaru, unfortunately, won’t go down easy. 

Orochimaru grips Kakashi’s bicep and swings him with all the momentum Kakashi carries. He adds his own chakra and attempts to slam Kakashi towards the base of the tree behind him, but Kakashi’s no pushover either. As Orochimaru grabs him, Kakashi’s hand sparks with chidori and tears his chest cavity in two. What would be instant death for anyone with their organs where they belong is a mere inconvenience to a man that fears no man or god. His ribs splinter apart, but there’s none of the gore you expect when Kakashi’s arm is forcibly wrenched out of him. There’s an apparent lack of vessels and blood, only the smell of death and sickness that Kakashi would know anywhere.

Kakashi bends his knees and reinforces his body with chakra to land feet first on the trunk of the tree. He launches himself seamlessly and arms himself with a singular kunai looped through his middle finger. His arm is raised and he’s poised to rip the gap in Orochimaru’s chest straight down his body. Maybe his body language is too obvious, intent too murderous. Orochimaru dances out of the way, graceful and boneless in a way that leans towards creepy and soulless instead of beautiful. 

Like his body is nothing but a puppet of wire and string, he twists in a way hips don’t allow and lands in a way that would have completely snapped Kakashi’s ALC. Kakashi is perturbed as he errs on the side of caution and makes more space between himself and Orochimaru. Kakashi adjusts his stance and focuses his senses. He can feel Pakkun gathering chakra at his jaw and the faint rustling of grass and dirt. He’s dragging his kids further away from the fight, deeper into the tall grass where their prone forms will be better hidden. Kakashi takes a breath and launches himself at Orochimaru again, chakra buzzing beneath his skin. One step forward for courage, one leap forward for commitment. Fear festers, to conquer it you must act. Kakashi swipes his wind-coated hand down Orochimaru’s exposed chest. 

Orochimaru’s face is decidedly unamused. He bats Kakashi’s hand away with his own, palm sparking to life with a momentarily visible sheen of light blue chakra that fades as it steals away Kakashi’s momentum. Fuck, he forgot Orochimaru’s base nature is wind. The stolen jutsu careens into the trees and barrels towards a low branch. It doesn’t creak, it doesn’t snap, it falls. The jutsu gauges into the trunk about a dozen feet above the amputated branch and for a horrible moment, Kakashi’s convinced the falling log is going to kill his students. Not this S-ranked maniac whose greater purpose here was digging his kid’s eyes out of their socket, but a fucking tree from a jutsu he didn’t think through using! 

Kakashi doesn’t know why he does it, but that falling tree has him pushing his headband up and the sharingan snapping open like some long forgotten instinct. His chakra system lurches. It drains so fast that he almost throws up in his mask, bile held back by his teeth and sheer force of will. His heart is beating so fast he’s pretty sure it’ll give out if he can’t calm it down soon enough, but it’s a secondary worry to the murder slab about to crush the tiny children he’s in charge of and holy shit he can’t let this happen a-fucking-gain. Kakashi’s pretty sure he does actually vomit as his chakra implodes and makes his ears ring. He hears a horrible popping noise, but his ears aren’t ringing and his eyes have been open so wide for so long that they’re blurring. His chakra goes from low to scraping the bottom in the time it takes that noise to materialize and dissipate. 

The falling branch disappears mid-fall. Like it’s sucked into a vortex, a whirlpool dragging you down into the depths of the ocean. It’s just gone and his left eye feels like it’s on fire. He pulls down his mask just in time to avoid suffocating on his throw up. He wretches into the grass and Orochimaru is standing there like he can’t believe what he just saw. He’s trembling with these wide eyes and gaping mouth. His gaze snaps towards Kakashi, quickly raking his form. For the first time, his gaze is nothing short of predatory. Kakashi knows he’s fucked the second they fall upon him.

He’s shaking hard as he digs the bottle of soldier pills he’s not allowed to have out of his pack. He pops them open and chews what he manages to get into his mouth. His tongue is already bitter from the bile, but the pills make his face scrunch hard. They’re not meant to be chewed. They hurt his tongue and burn on the way down, but they work faster this way. He slides his headband down and rolls out of the way as Orochimaru launches himself at him. Orochimaru looks feral, practically foaming at the mouth as he goes at Kakashi with the intent to kill. 

Kakashi’s nervous system seizes for a painful moment as his body floods with artificial life. There’s no fucking time. He pulls his lips into a snarl and falls into survival mode, fingers flying in the most common starting pattern for jutsus he knows before he’s sure about what he’s trying to cast. His chakra seeps into the ground, earth moving like rolling waves to put distance between him and Orochimaru as he finishes the last sign for an Earth Flow Wave jutsu. Orochimaru is cycling so much chakra through his body that it’s falling apart. His skin is flaking off his very bones like it was never his to begin with. The smell of decay hits Kakashi much harder than before, assaulting his nose with no barrier to stop it. There’s no time for anything at all. Orochimaru lunges towards him and he doesn’t let up, eyes laser focused on Kakashi’s headband. On the eye that lays beneath it. He’s vulnerable and Orochimaru knows it. 

Kakashi can’t push him out of his space again, can’t risk the chakra it takes to force him away. He growls, low and deep and visceral in his throat. It rips out of him regardless of what he wants. He can feel his chakra slithering up his throat and hair follicle in his body. Pakkun sprints through the grass to his heels, snapping at Orochimaru through the gaps between his legs and any angle he can manage. Kakashi throws a punch. It snaps Orochimaru’s face to the side, but all he does is cackle. Full body laughing like he’s having a fit he can’t stop. He swings back with all his body weight and slams his forehead against Kakashi’s like they’re genin learning how to fight dirty.

Pakkun yips and latches onto Orochimaru’s ankle while Kakashi pulls his hair and throws him to the ground. He doesn’t know how this fight devolved into school yard rough-housing, but he’s doing his damnedest to straddle a fucking sannin and smash his face into the ground. Orochimaru swipes at his cheek, oval nails tearing the fabric of his headband too close to his left eye for comfort. Kakashi snarls and Pakkun rounds by Orochimaru’s head to tear a chunk of hair out of his scalp. 

Orochimaru hisses and Kakashi grabs his wrist aggressively, crushing without hesitation. The bone fractures and rips out of his thin flesh, protruding out the side of his delicate wrist. The blood that comes out is thick and dark. This is the source of the decay, of the scent of sickness that’s been permeating through the forest since he got close enough to hear the fights. Orochimaru screams in anger, chakra gathering at his throat for Sage knows what. Pakkun has the same idea as he does. They both go for his throat. Pakkun’s teeth connect to the side of it and Kakashi’s fingers sink in where Pakkun’s teeth tear. His slick fingers wrap around a thinly encased vessel and pull. The blood doesn’t spray so much as it sluggishly spurts out. He goes deeper, fingers parting oddly tender muscle to find the rubbery tube deep inside. Orochimaru claws at his wrist with a surprising amount of vigor. His bright yellow eyes are shining even as the light vacates his irises. 

His legs kick and his chakra is swelling not unlike Kakashi’s earlier. He tears the majority of Orochimaru’s throat out and scrambles to pick Pakkun up. He runs towards the kids and hastily throws up as large of an earth wall as he can manage, bracing himself for something that never comes. He peeks up over the wall, breath unsteady and pupils shrunk to pin pricks as they land on Orochimaru’s prone body. He’s perfectly still, eyes glassy and mouth parted as hot blood continues to pour out of his neck. Kakashi feels confused beneath the headache induced fuzziness of his brain.

 The corpse’s eyes aren’t yellow. 

He collapses onto his knees and the jutsu crumbles. He can’t sense a chakra system going through the corpse at all. It takes a while for it to seep out of a fresh body. It doesn’t just—disappear. Pakkun curls up at his side, short brown fur matted with blood. He whimpers at Kakashi’s distress and paws at his thighs. Kakashi grabs one out of habit, thumb brushing over his fur as he mechanically makes sure his students are still breathing. They are, but the state of them makes him want to cry.

He takes a shuddering breath and steels himself. Naruto’s system is the most active which means he’ll probably wake up before the other two do. Kakashi breaths slowly and shallowly through his mouth. He doesn’t know what makes him angrier. Sasuke’s caked in blood from his face to his elbows. He’s spiking a fever and his chakra system is…he doesn’t even know what. He’s not attuned to them enough to be able to tell what all the spikes mean. There’s a seal on his neck—tomoe like the sharingan carries. It’s sick. 

Sam though. Sam is so battered and bruised that Kakashi’s genuinely surprised that his heart’s beating at all. Judging by his state of undress and the crude, uneven bright red skin fused at his chest…it wasn’t for a while. Kakashi hesitates and takes off his jacket. His shirt’s a disgusting mess of sweat, blood, dirt and just about everything else you can pick up while on duty. He shuffles on his knees and makes Sam sit up. His body’s flushed with fever too, but it’s different. Less severe than Sasuke’s. Kakashi’s shirt is three sizes too big, but it’s better than nothing. He puts his flak jacket back on over his mesh armor and shakily reaches for the flask of water at his side. He rummages through Sasuke’s pack for washcloths and works on getting both their fevers down. Pakkun stands vigil near Naruto, head turning this way and that as the sounds of other fights settle into heavy breathing. 

Kakashi closes his eyes as the headache settles into a migraine. He pulls his mask back on and shudders. His kidney starts pulsing in an unfortunately familiar pattern. He curls in on himself, palm pressed flat to his side as he fights to regulate his breathing. He hears footsteps, but Pakkun doesn’t go on the defensive so he doesn’t worry. He steals a few more breaths to himself and straightens up. His eyes sweep over the kids one more time before he turns his head. Anko isn't looking at him. Her expression is blank, eyes trained on the body on the forest floor. She studies it and cocks her head to the side. 

“What the fuck is this?” She asks, voice blank in a way that’s contemplative instead of numb. Her eyes are trained on the color of the corpse’s eyes. She scratches her sealed curse mark absently. It’s the only sign of her discomfort. 

“It…was Orochimaru, at one point. I don’t know what he did. I thought I killed him, but when he was bleeding out, he did something. Drained most of his chakra, died instantly. His eyes turned this weird…gray color that they are now. Chakra system vanished.” It’s not natural, but Kakashi hasn’t got a clue as to what could have happened. Anko’s jaw flexes in displeasure. She steps closer and kicks the corpse’s side hard enough that it rolls a few feet. She spits at it. 

“Fucker always was too much of a cockroach to stay dead,” she sneers, lips pulled back into something close to a snarl. She snorts at the corpse and finally looks at Kakashi. “You’re discoloring,” she says bluntly, eyes jumping from his face to his fingertips. “Can you make it to the hospital or did your dumbass overdose on soldier pills again?” 

Kakashi grimaces. That’s enough of an answer. 

“You’re really tempting fate, Hatake.” This time she does snarl. “You already got part of your left kidney chopped out, do you really want them to take out the rest of it?” 

“You’re one to talk,” Kakashi snaps back, irritated. It’s not like he’s an idiot and it’s not like he’s using them as a first resort like he used to. He looks at his students with blatant concern.

Anko follows his line of sight and hisses at the sight of Sasuke’s fresh cursed seal. “Holy shit,” she breathes, shoulders hiking up defensively. She swallows and takes a deep breath. “We neutralized all threats. Waiting for direction from Inoichi on how to proceed.” 

Kakashi looks up at her, shaky but aware enough to sit through the pain. “It sounds like you expect the test to continue.” 

Anko doesn’t deny it. “We corralled the affected section of the forest with genjutsu. Other participants were deterred away. A Suna team reached the tower in the middle of this mess.” 

Kakashi exhales from his nose and tilts his head back. “Of course it’s a cover up. My students need medical attention.” 

Anko presses her lips together. “I can sneak them off to medics for a day or withdraw them from the exam. I understand there were…plans in place for how to deal with everything. I don’t know if they’re needed.” 

Kakashi bristles. He wants to withdraw them immediately. He doesn’t see the point in keeping them, but he has a sinking feeling Sasuke might be needed for bait. If Orochimaru is still alive, this is the only way he’ll come back. He nods stiffly and slowly rises to his feet. “Take us all to the tower. They survived being alone with that monster for who knows how long. It should count.” 

Anko nods back tensely, yes drifting to whoever’s corpse that actually is. “Yeah,” she says quietly. She clears her throat and steps closer. “They look like shit, but I guess it’s better than looking dismembered.” She clears her throat and grabs a small black-banded scroll from inside her jacket. She walks to the body and seals it inside. If she’s uncomfortable with how broken the corpse is, she doesn’t show it. 

Kakashi hums and carefully crouches to grab Sam. His injuries looked the most severe and he doesn’t trust Anko not to jostle anything. Indeed, she picks Naruto up like a grocery bag by the jacket and slings Sasuke over her shoulder rather carelessly. Pakkun grumbles, but doesn’t object. He looks up at him instead. He pats Kakashi’s leg one more time and puffs away in a cloud of smoke. Some of it returns to Kakashi. He inhales softly, system slightly more stable. He still won’t be able to use chakra, but he’s feeling less anemic for it.

They walk towards the group of congregated shinobi in the middle of the genjutsu bubble. Those with more chakra in their reserves deal with the mess while everyone catches their breaths. They straighten up when Anko reappears with him. She juts her head inwards towards the tower. Everyone stands and helps clean up so those in charge of the genjutsu can continue casting them at the edges of their group. They avoid genin fights and stick to the trees for the most part. Some chunin break off from the group. Kakashi glances at them questioningly. 

“Must be genin triggering the knockout seals on the scrolls.” As she says this, one of the chunin further ahead disappears in a puff of smoke. Anko nods her head towards the empty space. “That one’s a summoning when they reach the tower and figure out the riddle.”

Kakashi nods and keeps his thoughts to himself. He glances at Sasuke surreptitiously from time to time, unconvinced by his unsteady breathing and the sweat lining his hairline. Sam’s fever is low and the cool water earlier helped, but he can feel the heat from his body against his. It takes them close to an hour to get within eyesight of the tower by the tree tops since they took many detours. Naruto groans when Anko lands roughly on a tree branch, eyelids fluttering. His chakra spikes and he whips around wildly. Anko drops him on the branch with an unimpressed look. Naruto grunts and rolls onto his stomach, wild eyes snapping up to Anko and, subsequently, Sasuke’s feverish form slumped over her shoulder. He trembles in anger and yells in frustration as he jumps to his feet. 

“Naruto! Naruto, it’s okay,” Kakashi assures as he reaches the branch. “Anko’s helping. We’re taking you all to the tower.” 

Naruto stills and turns to look at Kakashi, aggressive expression softening to one of vulnerability. His breath catches at the sight of Sam. Kakashi sees his eyes well up with tears and has his earlier assumptions confirmed when Naruto reaches out for Sam’s wrist. Kakashi’s stomach feels like it drops into oblivion.

“Sakura died, sensei,” Naruto whispers, tears falling as his fingers dig in to find a pulse. He shudders as he exhales. “I watched her die.” He looks up at Kakashi, his breath shallow and uncertain. Kakashi carefully adjusts his hold on Sam and reaches out to pull Naruto into a hug.

“You feel the heartbeat, right? Not dead. Sakura is…not okay, but not dead. That’s why we’re going to the tower. I think…Sasuke must have saved him, but h-she needs medical attention, Naruto. So does he. Can you travel with us or do you want me to carry you on my back?” Kakashi asks as gently as he can. 

Naruto sniffles and shakes his head. He takes a step back. He looks at Kakashi closely and exhales slowly. “You look like you need help too, sensei,” he whispers. Naruto wipes his eyes with his sleeve, dirt smudging his face with grime. 

“I do.” Kakashi isn’t too proud to admit it. Not right now. He crouches silently and Naruto only hesitates for a few moments before climbing on. He wraps his arms around Kakashi’s neck and his legs around his waist. Kakashi doesn’t say a word as Naruto cries into the back of his neck. He looks back at Anko and nods his head.

They keep moving, the silence tenser as Naruto struggles to hold back his quiet hiccups. It’s another half hour before they reach the tower. Most of the chunin have dispersed by now and Anko veers off to lead Kakashi up a staircase at the back of the tower. They take them two at a time until Anko stops and opens a door with her keycard. She holds the door open for Kakashi and closes it securely behind them when she’s inside. Anko leads him further into the tower towards a nurse’s ward that’s blocked off from the other half of the tower. 

“Participants aren’t supposed to be able to get checked out once they complete the exam in case of preliminaries are required, but that all went to shit anyway,” Anko mutters as she lays Sasuke down in the closest bed and starts rummaging through the medkit hanging on the wall. 

Kakashi lets Naruto sit down on one of the unoccupied beds and sets Sam down on another. He sighs and feels his face with his hands. “You need to call an actual mednin for Sakura. Sasuke’s work was crude and I doubt sanitary. I don’t want to risk infection.” 

Anko hums. “Already pressed the notice seal. Someone’s on the way. Let’s hope it’s not too bad.” 

Kakashi nods. He’s tempted to perform a diagnostic jutsu, but he doubts his reserves will let him. Even that’s pushing it when he’s this low. He sits down and closes his eyes, breathing through his mouth. His chakra system’s going to have trouble recovering from the soldier pills he took. The benefits of it burn quickly through his system since he used to take so many. The after effects haven’t changed a bit though, so it’s nice to know he still has to suffer the same amount of time for half the benefit. He can hear shuffling and Anko’s firm reprimand as Naruto shoves his way into Sasuke’s bed. Whatever Naruto’s response is makes Anko snort. Kakashi sighs and leans against the wall, keeping an ear out for the sound of walking. It comes a few moments later. The steps are rapid enough and whoever responded to the seal comes in without preamble. Kakashi cracks an eye open and glances at the male mednin that’s looking around in confusion. 

“Exceptions,” Anko says before the medic can speak. He nods wordlessly. “Go check out the pink one over there first. Not much you can do for these two. Oh, and while you’re at it, give Hatake something to make him throw up.” 

“It’s been hours,” he says in annoyance. 

Anko rolls her eyes. “Fine. A laxative. He needs to flush his system.” 

Kakashi groans. “Look at my student first. It’s pressing.” 

The medic shakes his head and steps closer to Sam’s bed. He forms two seals and presses his palm over his forehead, eyebrows furrowing at the feedback he gets from the diagnostics jutsu. “She needs to go to the hospital for casts,” he says, pushing up Sam’s shirt to get a look at the weird lump his chakra stumbled over. He hisses at the poorly healed ribs. “I need to break the floating ribs on her right side to heal them properly.” He looks up at her throat and hovers his hand over it, shoulders relaxing some. He reinforces the half-healed area with his own chakra. The medic reaches for the stethoscope on the wall and leans down to listen to Sam’s heart. “Accelerated heart rate,” he murmurs to himself, eyes thoughtful. He looks at the cut down Sam’s chest and frowns. “Was this done with intent to harm or intent to heal?” He asks, head lifting to look at Kakashi. His expression looks troubled. 

“Heal,” Kakashi says, though he can’t know for sure. It’s just the only thing that makes sense. He tries not to tense as Sam’s examined. He doesn’t like people touching him and that apparently extends to not liking his students getting touched either. 

The medic nods. “I’d assume there’s some minor bruising on the heart then.” He slides the stethoscope lower and listens to Sam’s lungs. The left side sounds strong and healthy. He slides the stethoscope to the right side of his chest and frowns. “Her breathing is labored.” He takes off the stethoscope and calls up the diagnosis jutsu again, focusing on her lung in specific. Recent healing, new tissue on a tiny speck of flesh. “It’s likely her ribs caused a puncture. Who administered on-field care? The lung is fine, but the chakra burns on her neck are really unacceptable. It looks like her hand is still broken despite traces of healing. This is unprofessional, but understandable if there was a pressing issue.” 

Kakashi exhales with a nervous half-laugh. “My other student.” The medic glances at the blonde who’s currently watching Anko wipe the blood off Sasuke’s face inches away from the passed out kid. “The other one,” Kakashi says dryly. The medic looks at Sasuke and raises an eyebrow. “I know right? What a good little student.” 

The medic shakes his head. “Pretty damn lucky is what it is. I need to take blood samples so I can get an antibiotic going. I suggest we move her to the hospital so I can properly reset her ribs and get some sedatives running through an IV.” 

“You can do that here,” Anko says dismissively. 

“I can’t process her blood here,” the mednin sighs.

“I’ll take it to the lab. You deal with her here, none of the genin are allowed to leave the tower. This is already as much as I can allow.” 

The mednin sighs. He pulls out a prescription pad from his coat and writes down two things. “This one to the lab for the sample tubes,” he says as he hands Anko the first one. “This one to the pharmacy for anesthetic and Hatake-san’s prescription." Resigned to healing her here, he reaches for Sam’s broken hand and heals it more than usually recommended. Chakra healing shouldn’t be depended on, but the bone feels like it’s never been subjected to it, so he makes the decision to heal it anyway.

Kakashi groans deeply as Anko cackles. She wipes her eyes and takes them both. “You bet your ass. Thanks Hiroya-kun, I knew I could count on you. I’ll be back before you know it.” 

Hiroya mumbles goodbye as he goes to rummage through the office’s supplies. He finds saline bags and starts setting them up. He looks at the boys again and addresses Kakashi again. “There’s showers down the hall. The tower is split in two sides, one for staff and one for exam participants. You don’t have to worry about privacy. You and your students can use them when you feel up to it. Oh and…your prescription is for a compound that will more or less neutralize what the soldier pills do to your body.” 

Kakashi nods, fingers curling on his thighs. “I appreciate that,” he says eventually. Hiroya just nods back and goes about sanitizing Sam’s arm to connect the IV-drip to. 

“May I take a look at your other student?” Hiroya asks when he finishes what he’s doing. Kakashi sighs and calls Naruto over. Naruto seems upset, but looking at Sam makes him waver. He pads over to obsessively stare at him breathe instead of watching Sasuke. Hiroya goes to Sasuke and frowns at his high fever. “How long has he been like this?” He asks, voice audibly upset. He digs through his personal med pack to dig out cooling gel and slathers it on Sasuke’s forehead, arms, and legs. He lifts up his shirt to get his chest too.

“Since I found him. From what I could tell, it isn’t from injuries,” Kakashi intones tiredly. 

Hiroya purses his lips and casts a diagnosis jutsu over Sasuke. He pales. “You’re right, it’s not,” he says quietly, a minor tremor in his voice. Hiroya takes a deep breath and readjusts Sasuke on the bed. He goes to wash his hands, eyes downcast. “His chakra system is fighting it off from his main pathways.”

Kakashi hums to show he’s listening. They leave it at that. Anko comes back twenty minutes later with three different bags and a stick of dango in her mouth. Hiroya receives them without comment. He throws a silver package at Kakashi with two tablets in it. One for now, one in four hours. He goes to Sam’s other arm to find another vein for the blood draw. Naruto has decided the best course of action is to leave a clone with Sam as he goes back to hogging Sasuke’s space. This, unfortunately, reveals a problem. The clone looks…malnurioushed? Kakashi has to wonder if he’s hallucinating at this point. 

“What the…? They haven’t looked like this since I was trying to make regular bushin,” Naruto mumbles thoughtfully. 

“This used to happen?” Kakashi asks, eyebrows inching up. 

“Yeah, I could never nail the chakra amount. Shadow clones work better because they take more chakra, you know? This is so weird. It’s like my chakra’s going through a straw.” Naruto’s tone of voice could almost be called awe if it weren’t for the underlying fear. 

Kakashi’s jaw tenses. “Did something happen? Did you use too much chakra earlier?” 

“No, not at all. But…that weird guy in the forest. He did something to me. Touched my stomach and…” Naruto pales. “He did something.”

Kakashi stands, alert and concerned. He steps towards Naruto with hurried steps. “Show me your stomach.” His tone isn't playful at all. Naruto unzips his jacket and holds up the hem of his shirt. There’s nothing there. Kakashi exhales and glances at Hiroya. He’s breaking the vial of anesthetic and prepping the needle. Kakashi takes a breath and presses his fingertips to Naruto’s stomach, carefully drawing up his chakra with what little of his he can use. The arrays stand stark on his tan skin. Kakashi hisses at the new layer. He can’t fix that, but someone must be able to. 

“The good news is that it isn’t permanent,” he says as calmly as he can manage. He drops his hand and lets Naruto smooth his clothes down. “It’s just…for now. Until I can find someone to undo it.” 

Naruto nods, relieved. “Is that going to be hard?” 

“No,” Kakashi says with more confidence than he has. “No. Once this is over and we can leave, I’ll find someone.” He can feel Anko’s eyes boring into the back of his head.

Naruto smiles weakly. “Thanks, Kaka-sensei.” Kakashi ruffles his hair and turns him around to face Sasuke again. Naruto walks off obediently to stand guard for his friend. Kakashi sits at the chair by Sakura’s bed and takes the pill while no one’s looking. This has been such a shit day. He watches as Hiroya trails his hand down Sam’s ribs, fingers pressing at the ones sitting wrong beneath his skin. Sam doesn’t so much as twitch. 

“The ribs weren’t healed all the way in the first place, so breaking them will be easy. One was healed fine, but two are off angle. I’ll reinforce the first one and reset the last two. Anko-senpai, can you take those vials to the lab?” He asks politely, gesturing to the tightly-sealed flasks. 

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” Anko hums as she throws out the dango stick. She wipes her hands on her trench coat and picks up the hot vials. She makes a face but trots out all the same, tucking the bottles of blood into her pocket like it’s normal. 

“You’re free to stay, Hatake-san, but I don’t recommend watching,” Hiroya says hesitantly. 

Kakashi nods absently and turns his head. He preoccupies himself with trying to figure out why Hiroya called Anko senpai if he’s from the medic corps and Anko’s well…the opposite of healing. Kakashi flinches at the sound of bone breaking, hands clenching hard. Naruto’s head snaps over to the bad Sam is on, eyes wide and unblinking. Sam himself doesn’t make a sound. The anesthesia is doing its job in keeping him under. Hiroya slides his palm over the ribs until they’re each sitting in the right spot beneath Sam’s skin. He closes his eyes and uses a jutsu to make sure they’re where they’re meant to before he commits to healing. 

“There,” he says a few minutes later, soft and relieved. “That way there’s no issues later on. Healed for the most part.” Hiroya lowers the shirt Kakashi put on Sam and increases the saline drip to something a little faster. “Since the ribs were broken multiple times, they’re going to be weaker than average, even for chakra healing. It’s just the two on this side, really. She’ll wake up in a few hours. Hopefully by then I’m back with an antibiotic, but we’ll see what the blood tests say. Is there anything else I can attend to while I’m here?” 

Kakashi shakes his head. “Thank you for doing this.” 

Hiroya waves him away. “It’s what I should do. In that case I won’t disturb you any further. Please rest well.” He leaves with a wave goodbye. 

Silence settles into the room. Only the quiet breathing of Team Seven can be heard. It’s not tense and it’s not hopeless. It’s just…exhausted. Kakashi tilts his head back against the wall and closes his eyes. What a mess.

Notes:

Shout out to the people that left very kind and thoughtful comments sorts recently and one like a third of a year ago lmfao. They were read and appreciated and I hope to do your reading experience justice.

Welcome back folks to: if it’s canon I’m using it in ways to advance my fanon plot. Can you tell that Orochimaru is one of my top ten Naruto characters? Like I would perma kill them before I make them suffer properly haha

Chapter 32: Can’t Catch A Break

Summary:

Kakashi really wished his kids would schedule their crises at least a week apart from one another.

Anko doesn’t come back after leaving. Kakashi’s sure she’s been dragged off to something or another to do with these exams. She’s still the primary proctor and she still has to oversee all the contestants that are taking her test in blissful ignorance of the shit that went down. Kakashi manages a fitful half hour of rest before he accepts the fact that he was bound to keep waking up periodically to make sure his students are okay. He takes a deep breath and rubs the back of his head as his eyes drift from kid to kid. He’s disturbed by how quiet the room is. There’s no heart monitors here, no quiet beeping of machines. 

Kakashi’s almost glad when Naruto starts snoring. It fills the room and puts him slightly more at ease when there’s less room for his own thoughts. Sam starts to stir an hour later. This makes him feel better too. He never got the impression that Sam would sleep like a log, and now that his body is stronger, his normal habits are picking back up. It’s always nice being proven right. Well. If you discount earlier. Kakashi shuts the thought down and refocuses on watching Sam intently for any signs of wakefulness. He turns this way and that and gasps when he turns his arm and the connected tube sends pain signals to his brain. Kakashi honestly expects Sam to wake up from this, but his pupils move wildly behind his eyes without ever opening. 

Sam’s breath is shallow and his chakra is spiking occasionally. He has no idea what’s happening and can only watch on as Sam figures it out for himself. It’s a tense half hour of wondering if he should be doing something before Sam finally cracks his eyes open. His breath is shallow and his eyes horribly bloodshot. Sam’s fingers flex around the memory of a blade. He swallows and winces. Kakashi can feel the phantom sensation of gravel. He looks around the room and goes for the pitcher to fill with water. Sam’s body tenses for a moment, but he relaxes quickly. His eyes, misty as they may be, lock onto Kakashi and don’t move. 

“Hey. Ah, Sasuke and Naruto are here. They’re…fine. I dealt with Orochimaru,” Kakashi says uncertainly. He goes back to Sam’s bedside and pours the water into one of those paper cups he could never stand the taste of. Sam’s eyes follow him, but still, he doesn’t try to speak. Kakashi sets down the pitcher and cup on the shabby metal cart by the bed. He sits down in concern. “Hey…are you okay?” He asks worriedly. Sam blinks at him blankly. “Do you understand what I’m saying?” He asks with more concern. He stands up again, a little too suddenly if the scraping noise is anything to go by. He leans over Sam and really looks at his pupils. They react to light properly, but there’s something perpetually unfocused about it. He follows movement sluggishly, but if Kakashi stays still for too long, they veer off to the corner where the light doesn’t fully illuminate. 

“Sam,” Kakashi calls, voice hard with tension. Sam’s eyes snap to him. Kakashi stays still. They veer off. Kakashi says anything at all, and the cycle repeats. Kakashi takes a shaky breath and hurriedly retreats to the seal Anko had activated earlier. It’s some sort of makeshift call button since the wiring here is spotty. He pushes his chakra into it and paces, heart pounding. What does he do? What can he do? He stands still, one arm across his chest and the other covering his mouth as his eyes bore into Sam. What the fuck can he do about this? Kakashi loathes gaps in his knowledge. He can’t stand not having a solution. His rational brain tells him he’s done what he can by calling for a medic, but his heart is doing this weird thing that makes him want to physically squeeze it to make it stop. He’s no stranger to anxiety, but this is a physical ache. Real pain he can’t regulate. 

“Do you need something Hatake-san? I’m sorry, the antibiotic isn’t ready yet,” Hiroya says as he steps into the room. He straightens the collar of his coat and looks up. Confused, he steps closer. Kakashi takes a deep breath and gestures towards the bed. “Ah, Haruno-san woke up.” He nods to himself and takes his stethoscope out of his pocket. “That’s good. A bit sooner than expected, but good.”

“He’s not speaking,” Kakashi says, chest sitting hollow while his voice edges on accusatory. He knows it’s not Hiroya’s fault. Well, he knows it’s probably not Hiroya’s fault. He’s still spiraling towards anger though and he can’t just verbally shut down to suppress it this time because he has to work in Sam’s best interest while he can’t. “His eyes follow me, they—they react to light. But he’s not really processing.”

Hiroya looks bewildered before schooling his expression into something professional. He hands the stethoscope around his neck and reaches for a light pen instead. Indeed, his eyes respond well and normally. Hiroya places his palm on Sam’s forehead and runs a normal diagnostics jutsu. He scans each muscle carefully, chakra taking an imprint of what Sam’s organs must look like. He frowns. “Everything seems fine,” he mumbles to himself, eyebrows furrowed. “There’s some damage to the windpipe, a mild burn and bruising that should clear up on its own. It shouldn’t impede Haruno-san’s ability to speak.” 

“So what are you saying? That Sakura’s just choosing to go—what, catatonic?” Kakashi asks sharply, eyes darting to Hiroya for only a moment before they’re back on his student. 

“Body language indicates a genuine inability to respond,” Hiroya mutters, hand drifting down the side of Sam’s face lightly. He doesn’t shiver or try to move away from the touch. Hiroya grabs Sam’s wrist and lifts his arm. Heavy, weight not self distributed. As if he were still passed out. Hiroya frowns. “I feel no physical problem so I’d like to do a chakra scan. If even that is insufficient, I’ll have to insist we move Haruno-san to the hospital for a brain scan.”

Kakashi grimaces and stiffly steps closer to take Sam’s weapons off him. Just in case. “Just check.” 

Hiroya nods and begins the process of a thorough chakra scan. It delves deeper than the basic diagnostic jutsu and because of that it irritates the chakra system more. Jumpier shinobi usually have a ‘do not use without explicit consent’ clause next to it on their charts. He tries to be careful, but there’s really no helping it. Sam’s body tenses the moment it starts, some areas tighter than the other, and doesn’t relax until well after the scan is over. 

“There’s a chakra pool around the brain. I’d need access to her medical file to see how dramatic the change is. Some people’s chakra is distributed more heavily towards the brain, usually those who have a predisposition to mental arts like genjutsu and external chakra use. This is a bit dramatic of a discrepancy though, even for someone inclined to yin chakra.” 

Kakashi nods. “Yeah, um, Sakura is part of that group,” he says haltingly. He tries not to fidget, but he feels severely out of his depth. 

Hiroya nods and sighs, expression conflicted. “Look–she needs a brain scan. I need to confirm brain activity. The reflexes are a great sign, but I need proof of conscious thought. I can’t do that with chakra alone. Do you know what could have led to this? If it’s genjutsu caused, we can fix that fairly easily, but it’s risky to do if that wasn’t the initial issue.” 

Kakashi shakes his head. “I-I don’t know, I wasn’t there until much later. Is there any way to do this here? The scan you need.” 

“No, I can’t move the equipment to do it. I know Anko-senpai said your team needed to stay here, but I really can’t provide more care without access to proper facilities and Yamanaka support.” Hiroya looks apologetic, but also firm.

Kakashi hesitates. “What would the Yamanaka do?” 

“Well, they’re a lot better at dealing with problems caused by yin-chakra,” Hiroya explains. “Especially ones to do with the mind. A Yamanaka would be able to tell me what caused the damage, and if all else fails, determine if the mind is salvageable.” 

“Of course it is,” Kakashi snarls, hackles rising. “He’s fine–he’s just stuck in his head is all. And if a Yamanaka can fix that, then get a Yamanaka.” 

“Well, it’s not that easy. Unconscious minds are easier to enter, yes, but they’re unstable and not many Yamanaka can withstand the constant stream of thought. Or if, worst case scenario, there is no conscious thought…Well, it’s easy for the firing neurons to intercept the way back out,” Hiroya explains as calmly as he can, mildly perturbed to see Kakashi in distress.

“But they’re not non-existent right? Look, I know for a fact that Inoichi is somewhere here talking to Anko or dealing with whatever fall out there is. Call him, tell him it’s an emergency.” Kakashi’s tone is hard, eyes narrowing at the first sign of protest. 

Hiroya hesitates and rubs his jaw. “I’m sorry, I can’t speak to Inoichi-sama on your behalf. It’s not my place to. I will, however, pass the message on to Anko-senpai. Is this acceptable?” He watches Kakashi nod stiffly and nods back. “Okay. Good. I’ll go do that and I’ll check on the antibiotic afterwards. I hope everything goes well for your student, Hatake-san.”

As Hiroya leaves the room, Naruto’s head pops up from where he’d been laying. His eyebrows are narrowed and he’s clenching his jaw absently. Kakashi sighs and gestures for Naruto to speak. 

“Is Sakura going to be okay?” He whispers, fingers twisted into the hem of his sweater. Naruto looks like he’s trying not to cry again. He takes a deep breath and sits on the edge of the bed. “I—I just don’t get it. She lived through that and—and she could be gone anyway?” He presses the heels of his palms to his eyes and exhales slowly. “It’s not fair,” he says hoarsely. 

“I know, I’m sorry. We can’t do anything. We just have to trust that Sakura's strong enough to overcome this too.” 

Naruto nods, leaving them in tense silence as they await Inoichi’s arrival. Kakashi’s eyes are drawn to Sasuke every once in a while. His jaw is clenching and he’s starting to make quiet noises of pain. Kakashi’s tempted to help him take painkillers, but he knows introducing any sort of medication to Sasuke’s system right now is futile. His eyes are darting from side to side beneath his eyelids. Kakashi rubs his eye wearily. What terrible timing. Still, it’s better than his heart stopping. He’d like to be able to say that only one of his students came within a hair’s breadth of death today. He pulls out his worn copy of Imoseyama and thumbs through the pages so he doesn’t raise anymore of his hackles. 

Inoichi does eventually walk through the door. Anko’s at his heels, expression annoyed but not tense. He’s no nonsense from the get-go. His eyes fly to Sam while Anko goes towards Kakashi. 

“You should know this isn’t something I’ve done all that often,” Inoichi says, voice low and solemn. 

“But you’ve done it. You know what you’re supposed to do?” Kakashi double checks. He trusts Inoichi implicitly, but he’d trust him a little more knowing he isn’t going in blind. 

Inoichi nods and moves towards the bed. He sits it up while Anko conspicuously hovers around the bed Sasuke’s stirring on and Naruto watches unblinkingly. “I can do it. I would say knowing Sakura is a benefit to this, it should make it easier, but…” He looks regretful as he looks at Sam. “I get the feeling I don’t know her as well as I used to.” He shakes his head and looks at Kakashi. “From what you’ve observed, what kind of head space is she usually in? What does she prioritize?” 

Kakashi takes a deep breath and presses his palms together. There’s an elephant in the room. He realizes he hasn’t been particularly careful with Sam’s perceived self, but it’s still something he needs to protect, isn't it? This isn’t something he can take lightly. It’s an integral part of who Sam is. He takes another measured breath and steps into Inoichi’s space. 

“Sakura has always been remarkably clear-headed. Rational, protective, values safety over adventure, very relationship oriented. Ah…” He lowers his voice and sighs. “He doesn’t really like that name. Sakura…has had internal struggles with his identity. He…well, is a he. He prefers being called Sam,” he says, barely audible to Inoichi.

Inoichi looks bewildered. “Sakura—? Gushed about boys and hair care in my living room for three years Sakura?” He looks at Sam like he’s never really seen him, at least for a little while, before the expression subtly morphs to one that lets Kakashi know Inoichi is itching to know the play by play. 

Kakashi is weary of that look. It always brings out Inoichi’s nosy side. “He’s mentioned that he let his friendships fizzle out in the academy. I understand at one point he had a…rivalry of sorts with your daughter. I think those feelings may have been the trigger of his sudden distance from his classmates.”

Inoichi nods slowly. “It certainly would make sense. I suppose Sakura had displayed some jealousy towards her male classmates occasionally, but it never felt like longing. More like dissatisfaction. I suppose I could have misinterpreted. Emotions are complicated.” He inhales and refocuses on his task. “Thank you, Kakashi-kun. I’ll take it from here,” he says after he’s cleared his throat. 

Kakashi takes the hint and backs up. Inoichi sits in the chair by Sam’s bed and scoots up close. The sound of the chair dragging against the floor makes Sam’s pupils dart towards it. Inoichi takes advantage of the moment of eye contact, fingers lifting into the Yamanaka-unique seal. The chakra in the room fluctuates and Inoichi slumps in his seat. 

“Kid, get away from him!” Anko barks in alarm. She takes quick steps forward towards Naruto and snatches his wrist before he can protest. Sasuke’s seal is expanding fast, sharingan-red eyes moving rapidly before flying open. 

Kakashi curses under his breath, body tense as Sasuke yells hoarsely and curls in on himself. His face is flushed, sweat pouring down as his fever finally begins to break. The seal fluctuates between expanding and settling. Sasuke’s panting, jaw clenched tight enough for the veins on his temple and neck to stand out against his skin. He manages to get onto his stomach and push himself up on shaking arms. His eyes land on Naruto first. They’re wild and shaking, tomoe whirring like pinwheels. He stumbles out of bed messily. 

“W-what?” He breathes, chakra spiking within his system at the sight of Anko. The loss of control makes the seal expand rapidly. He cries out between clenched teeth, skin paling and draining of color for such a brief moment that Kakashi isn’t sure it wasn’t a trick of the light. Naruto makes a pained noise deep in his throat and pushes Anko away. He steps closer anyway. 

Kakashi looks at Inoichi’s vulnerable form and glances at Anko’s wide eyes. She’s dumbstruck, breathing shallowly as she allows Naruto to slip out of her hold. Kakashi’s expression hardens. He pulls her to take his place by Inoichi and hovers uncertainly near Sasuke. 

“Teme,” Naruto calls, voice cracking and tears springing to life in his blue eyes. He reaches out fearlessly. His fingers wrap around Sasuke’s wrist much more gently than Anko’s had wrapped around his. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t good enough.” He hiccups and sniffles loudly, too overcome to expand on his remorse. Sasuke’s eyes fly around the room frantically in confusion. They land on Kakashi first. 

Kakashi doesn’t know what his expression could look like right now. He forcibly injects calm into his posture and tries to smile at Sasuke. That’s what you’re supposed to do right? He tries, but he can’t quite seem to keep his eye off of the seal. Anko manages to break herself out of whatever trauma-induced freeze response the seal’s activity may have caused, but it only makes things worse. Sasuke’s eyes snap to her, and subsequently, the extremely still form of Sam behind her. He stops breathing, eyes wide and locked on Sam. The seal surges forward. It wasn’t a trick of the light. Sasuke’s skin pales and drains of color, lips turning blue and skin graying. He lunges forward, breaking free of Naruto’s grip as his nails sharpen. His eyes are stuck on Anko.. Kakashi hisses through his teeth and pushes up his headband. 

“No no no, wait, Sasuke please, no—just look at her—she’s breathing, please, Sakura’s breathing!” Naruto says in one breath of air. He rushes towards Sasuke and wraps his arms tightly around his waist. Naruto’s too short to restrain his arms so it ends up being a crushing hug. “You saved her in the forest. She’s okay, I promise, you did a good job earlier! She’s okay. Please, she’s breathing!” 

Sasuke freezes mid-step. The seal stops progressing, but he’s shaking and heaving like it’s taking everything in him to keep it there. Naruto keeps mumbling ‘Sakura’s okay’ like a prayer, fingers interlocked at Sasuke’s sternum. They’re pressed together so tight that they’re white. Slowly, Sasuke falls to his knees. The seal creeps away, inching back towards its original position. The gray on his skin retreats and his lips return to a normal shade. He’s pale with fear. 

“What the hell did he do to me?” Sasuke gasps with disgust. He watches the sharp ends of his fingernails round as the forcefully given chakra in his system reigns itself in with too clear eyes. He turns off the sharingan.

Anko takes a few steps forward. She breathes in controlled, counted measures. She kneels. “He’s cursed you,” she says as she takes off her jacket. “Because he’s an asshole who thinks power is anything anyone will ever crave.” Sasuke’s eyes snap up to her, weary but non-combative. “But you’re stronger than that. You just proved it.” She turns her head to the side, lifts her hair, and shows her own curse mark. “Whatever he told you in the forest…don’t believe him. He has a way of telling you exactly what you want to hear, but when it’s time to get there…he’ll make your life miserable and tell you the price of getting what you want is suffering. You’re stronger than the seal, Sasuke. Whatever power it gives you comes at a price.”

Sasuke swallows, blood-shot eyes locked on the simple black seal. “How long have you had that? The mark, it—it wants to be used.” 

Anko lets her hair cover her nape again and pulls on her trench coat. “I’ve had it for 13 years now. You’re right, it does want to be used. It’ll ‘talk’ to you when you feel weak. Encourage you to tap into it. But it’s a crutch meant to poison you and I refuse to use something someone as detestable as Orochimaru developed. It takes self-discipline, kid. And a hell of a lot of hate towards the man that branded you with it.”

“What if I’m not strong enough?” Sasuke whispers. He doesn’t look at anyone in the room, but he can hear the creak in Naruto’s sandals as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He hears the rustle of fabric and his own breath in his ears. 

“You will be.” 

Notes:

So to be clear, Orochimaru *did* totally get their ass kicked and they would have died had they not been a menace to society and the Shinigami. They’re dead to rights, but since they have a way to get around that in canon, consider them the Tom Riddle of Naruto.

Shout out to ‘to thine own self be (mostly) true’ by anon_carrots. Give it a read, it’s really good. That’s where the book that Kakashi was reading stems from (it’s literally in chapter one if you just want to kill your curiosity, but trust you’ll keep reading once you start.)

Next chapter will be in Sam’s pov again. Say goodbye to your 3rd pov privileges

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of Eclipse (and the onlookers)