Chapter Text
He would have laughed if only he could see the comedy of the situation but at present it just escaped him. It was insane, how was it that these people lived their lives under such constraints, and yet when he was told that they were to be bound for what they’ve done he did not have it in himself to fight it.
It was absurd, there was no other way to describe their situation, but their present arrangement also meant that she would remain in his life, and even if it meant compromising his beliefs, for even now he did not know if she wanted this, he’d gone along with their mad plan.
The printshop, his for it had been paid by his savings, before this all came to unfold would be well looked after whilst they were gone; the viscounts money would ensure so, he’d been told. He did make a point to counter that one proposition assuring her brother that there be no need for such provisions, he did have a business partner and an apprentice of his own, and they’d take care of the business whilst they were gone.
It was dark outside that much he could tell, tomorrow he will feel the strain of today, that he was sure of. It was not like he had physically exerted himself but not being allowed to talk to her before it all unfolded had led him to being beyond stressed. The situation made worse as he needed stay a couple of hours more in London to settle his affairs whilst she had more or less been forced into a carriage for her family’s country state. Upon arrival a butler of sorts had led him through a hall and then almost pushed him through a set of double doors, it was then when he finally got to be reunited with her, they were in what he guessed was her bedroom within her family’s ancestral home, Aubrey Hall was its name from what he’d been told.
He looks at her clad in her sleeping gown and a robe, looking out the window with anger as if the glass impeded her from having the liberty she so craves, instead of voicing those thoughts he says “You look cold, should I add a log to the fireplace?”.
“Do as you wish it seems I’m now your property, it should not matter to you how I feel” is the angry yet resigned reply. “Eloise, I care” he interjects in earnest before he can even think to stop himself.
“You agreed, he said all those things and you just went along, you would not even say a word”, and as her voice raises so do her arms by her side in wild angry movements. “Was there even a point?” He asks with resignation and a dose of irritation in his voice, as if wishing her to understand they had no other choice.
“We did not do anything wrong” and why she says this, she is unsure, perhaps because she wishes for him to be as upset about the situation as she is. He replies with a simple “I know”, and he really does, there was not a need for all of this but her eldest brother had refused to listen.
He should have known to anticipate the next question, and in some faraway place of his mind he has mulled over the reply, still he was unprepared to offer her an answer but he would try because of course Eloise was within her rights to know, “why did you not fight it?”
The words leave his mouth before he truly gives them some more though, it’s not the whole true but at present it will do, “because believe it or not I never thought that agreeing would make you hate me. The truth is I did believe a part of you cared for me and not for the titles and riches of the ton, my wrong”, his insecurities have come to the fore but he cannot help himself specially when he has just seen how upset she is. Eloise however, will not allow him this one time to hide behind an argument she thought had been put at rest long ago, she will not allow him to make assumptions about her character, not in that sense, “You are daft if you believe I care about any of that”, her voice leaving no room for he to argue anymore on that subject.
“Then? Pray tell me, is it truly such a horrible fate to…” he wishes to know, some part of him feels hurt at her obvious discontent. “It is not about you” she says and he huffs despite the conviction of her voice.
“It’s the truth, it’s just the whole thing it’s absurd” there is tiredness in her voice but, Eloise does believe her words.
“Absurd" he repeats the word, and he paces along the room before he dares to continue to voice what he thinks, "I never thought as someone who works with words that I could dislike an adjective, profoundly, might I add, although I do believe you’re right on its use in this instance”.
Eloise stays silent at his words, she opens her mouth once more to speak, to offer an apology as she seems to remember all of the sudden the time when that one word had almost torn apart whatever it was that they had. She wants to go to him and reassure him that it’s not about him but she cannot bring her feet to move nor her mouth to speak as she sees him pace and turn sighting deeply before he speaks, “Do you care to sit? Have a drink? I am cold so I’ll go ahead with adding a log or two to the fire”.
He watches her as she raises her arm and opens her mouth as if to speak back but just like that she retracts and he just does not know what to do or say anymore, “I thought we were back to talking, I’ll even settle for arguing, what? No come back? Alright, I’m wiped, good night Mrs. Eloise” with the last comment Theo walked to the bed to pull one of the thrown blankets at its end.
Eloise watched him still from her place by the window, the one she had not moved from as if her feet had been glued to the spot, “what are you doing?”, his movement was enough to break her out of herself induced silence.
“What does it look like? I’m taking a blanket so that I can sleep in that comfy looking sofa by the fireplace” he explained as if it was the most logical thing in the world, as if their worlds had not just turned.
“It’s our wedding night” she says because amongst them both he should be the one to know the implications of the date.
“It is indeed, and?” He truly wishes to comprehend but feels as lost as her in this situation they’ve landed themselves; “I was told that we would” she begins and then it all makes sense to him, there is a hint of anger in his voice as he responds “I will not force myself on you Eloise”. “You would be within your rights” she counters, her voice tone resigned because, she had not lied, her anger and frustration were not about him, not really, but at the ridiculous rules of society that landed them there.
“Dear Lord, just who do you take me for?” Because he honestly believes that Eloise ought to know him better than to believe him capable of such an act.
Gazes locked she finally saw how much her words had hurt, “I am sorry Theo, I do know that you would not, none of this is your fault, I am just overwhelmed by all of" the sincerity of her voice makes him nod and encourages her to go on, "it was just so fast”. He gives her a tired smile as he says, “I agree, it was not ideal”, “you tell me” she responds, strangely enough it’s the sarcasm within her voice the one that reassures him the most.
“Eloise, please, I beg of you, take a seat, let us talk” he begs, and this time she does move to sit at the quaint table that rests beneath one of the windows of the room. He is taking a sit of his own when she says, “you seem horrified about sharing a bed with me” and for a minute he does not know which might be the appropriate response to her words, he settles for using some of his quick wit, “well, I do not know if you kick in your sleep” he jokes, “I meant” she interrupts, “I know, and believe me when I say that I would very much like to make love to you, with you" he quickly amends, "but I’ll only do so when you wish for it too, and let us be honest here for a minute, you are the one horrified at the idea of even allowing me to kiss you” there is a self-depreciating tone to Theo’s voice.
Eloise blushes madly but her voice is strong as she responds him “I am not”, he raises his eyebrows in surprise and well he may not be as quick as her but he can do sarcasm just as well, “could have fooled me”.
Eloise gapes, surprised by the conversations’ turn, she had not anticipated his words, seems that one night, a season’s past is still a sore spot of sorts, “It is just that I never thought I’d find myself in this position, damn it Theo”.
The silence does not last as she softly asks “Why did you agree?”, and because he also wishes to know her thoughts he responds, “I could ask you the same thing”.
She had asked first so by all accounts he should be the one to respond, but she sees no harm in going before him, “Anthony threatened to hurt you and I could not live with myself if something happened to you”. He nods in acquisition to her response, his eyes move up left as if his mind was trying to conceive some imaginary scenario and when his eyes meet hers again, he offers her his honest impression, “I do not think he would have gone through with it, seems to me it was just his toxic masculinity speaking. Although I do appreciate the sentiment really”.
She has given him something in the hopes that he would reciprocate, not that it is a game of tit for tat, but she genuinely wants to know so she once again asks, “and you? What I meant is why did you accept?”
Theo sights and looks down to the table cloth as if he cannot meet her eyes as he speaks, “I know I shouldn’t have, especially since I did not know how you felt about it all but” he pauses. “But?” she repeats, a silent request so he says whatever it is he has kept from saying.
Eloise is not used to someone speaking as fast as her, it’s not common but Theo at present seems to be channelling her, the speed of his words baffles her for a minute or so, “I did not know what your brother would have chosen to do if I refused, I mean not the duel thing, rather if he would force you to marry someone you did not know or care for, some widowed Lord who might perhaps not care about the 'ruinous' behaviour you supposedly had engaged, who might want a mother for his children, who knows and" he stops before he says more.
"And?" she is daring him to say the rest, and even when he knows he will not come out on top when he finishes explaining he feels he owes her the truth, "because I selfishly wanted to keep you in my life and it seemed like this was the only way for me to do that, because I’ve been in love with you since you told me you wanted to share your thoughts with me, that one time”. She does not smile at his last words but she does reach over to grasp his hand.
She knows how he still struggles with being vulnerable so she seeks to reassure him, “it really isn’t about it being you that I’m upset, you might actually be the one good thing about this whole mess, having you in my life I mean. It is just that there were many things I wanted to do”, “and who says you won’t be able to do them now?” he interjects, he wants her to understand he is not, nor will he ever be her jailer.
Eloise however feels that it is not only her that is a prisoner now but them both and she clearly states her point as she moves her hands as in showcasing the room, “Theo just look at us, locked away in Aubrey Hall”. It is fairly amusing to him for in this one instance he does have an adequate reply to her complaint, “I only agreed for us to come here as I thought you’d be more comfortable for the time being”.
“I would rather be back at the print shop” Eloise knows she sounds like a spoiled child, but at the moment she needs something, anything, to anchor her feelings of discontent.
“Duly noted” Theo nods his head in acceptance to her comment before voicing whilst looking into her eyes “we can leave whenever you wish, anything more you want to add onto your list? because I may not be able to give you much but I can promise you I will do my best to see not only that your needs are met but that you can achieve your dreams”.
The ever-present amusement and care when talking to her was present in his last words, making her feel all sort of things in the inside when she saw his smile, “I’m an idiot” she expresses out loud, it’s the only conclusion she can reach because, how could she complain about him being ‘the one’ she’s to share a life with?
“Eloise, you are indeed many things, but an idiot is not amongst them” he replies and truly he does believe that, she is his best friend, his critic and peer, the person who confounds and vexes him, but above all she is the woman he loves.
“Then pray tell me how is it that we got caught?”, and he chuckles before he replies because damn it if she was right, how they gotten into this situation and even the present conversation flow, it was all indeed absurd:
She had shown up at his shop, mischievous smile in place and he had not known how was it that he agreed with her but she had somehow managed to convince him that her plan was flawless. There was to be a mask in her family home at Grosvenor’s square and given that the attendees would remain hidden for a good part of the night no one would be the wiser about his presence. I’d be the perfect opportunity for him to witness first hand why was it that she complained so much about the balls and soirées she was forced to attend. He had countered that he did not wish for the torture in jest but her wit won he over as she said that the food would be good, plus she would be there.
Theo thought that she had forgotten about the invitation and was not keen to remind her of the upcoming event but when she had shown awkwardly carrying a box, which he later learned contained clothes for him, he did not dare question where was it she procured them from, he knew he was bound to visit the Bridgerton’s home.
“Bad luck? Truth is we tempted fate a bit too much”, he ventures.
It not been his attendance to the ball per se that was the catalyst, rather them having danced together when it was a well-known fact that she did not enjoy the activity. That single fact served to make her eldest brother suspicious and well, the Viscount seemed to be livid when he found them in the library, it was not as if they’d been in a compromising position, Eloise had actually just reached for a book that she was convinced it was a must for him to read.
He truly did think that her brother might have been able to see reason, were it not for the fact that when he went in his quest to look for her, he’d been accompanied by one of her other brother’s. The viscount had not thought to look for Eloise in the library but as his brother rambled on and on about needing money having never gotten back the capital of an investment, one he made about a year ago, he had opened the first door he happened on in order to settle the discussion away from public ears.
They only heard part of the argument as the conversation halted when they found them, but it seemed as Colin thought he was entitled to dispose of Eloise’s dowry, as she would have no use for it, so determined she was on being a spinster, whilst Anthony argued that he needed to learn the value of money, and there was no way in hell he would be touching his sister’s, Eloise was to marry.
Given the above, Theo was firmly convinced that although there were many factors that led to them being married in haste, luck was chief amongst them.
She gives him a bemused smile as if daring him to contradict her when she takes the blame, “We? Or me?” Truth is she was the least careful when showing up for their rendezvous but he had his part as well and so he says, “both” for he had not done anything to discourage her visits once they’ve resumed their friendship.
It seems as though she’s accepted his response, for she gives him a small smile, it is as if they are finally getting somewhere. It is that momentary truce they seem to have reached that gives her the courage to ask, “what is going to happen now? I mean, with us?”.
“I would very much like for us to try and make things work”, there is sincerity in his voice as he responds; “how do we do that?” its implied that she would also like to try as she gives his hand a squeeze and tentatively smiles. Theo responds in kind, moving his fingers over her knuckles in a soft caress as he says, “we continue communicating for a start”.
“I do not even know how to cook” she states, where that thought had come from, he did not know but somehow the conversation flows and he finds himself replying, “never expected that you would to be truthful”, his chuckle does nothing for her own amusement, she is actually concerned when she voices, “once we go back to London how do you propose that we are to feed ourselves? It is a legitimate concern”. Theo becomes serious for a minute as he comes to understand that she knows little about the practicalities of life, and they’ve never gotten a chance to speak before about what their new arrangement would entail, he wishes to convey with his next words that there is no need for her to worry, “it might surprise you, but the printshop business does represent a stable source of income. We can hire a servant or two, even a lady’s maid for you, truth is I never saw the need when it was just me, but you need not worry, and just so you know I actually know my way around a stove”, there is a smile on his face as he voices the last words and sees her nod in acceptance.
“I find myself very much out of my depth” she says out of nowhere they've sat in silence before, usually preoccupied with something to read of their own or just lost in their own thoughts, it’s never been unsettling before, but somehow this time things are different, they are no longer just Theo and Eloise, they are husband and wife. “Me too” he agrees.
She takes the bull by the horns, of course she does and voices her thoughts when she finds his gaze wondering between the bed, her hand, the couch and her face, “despite your open mind you might find my curiosity unladylike" she pronounces, and when she pauses Theo falls back into their usual banter "go on" for his own curiosity has been picked and he wants to know what is it that is causing her to blush.
"The truth is my mother did not really explain well what is it that we are meant to do, in the marriage bed” his hand leaves hers as he stands to pace, she cannot be sure but she is pretty positive Theo just swore.