Chapter Text
The first signs appear while Kinn is deep inside him, his thighs aching as he rides Kinn.
It has been four months since the first night Porsche had Kinn inside him, and two weeks after he returned from working with the minor family. Falling into bed and being in love with Kinn was surprisingly easy—too easy in a way that Porsche was never able to do with anyone for the past six years.
They fucked every chance they got, on every surface available, as if they were starving for each other's mouths and bodies. It feels like Kinn was consuming him inside out, until he is so tightly intertwined with Kinn, leaving him out of breath.
Right now, Kinn's large hands grip his hips hard, helping Porsche bounce on his cock. He is slowly getting tired, his thighs and knee aching, as sweat forms on his forehead, making his hair stick on his face. It feels hot, as hot as it is during his heat. But he doesn’t care because he loves this, loves to have Kinn inside him.
Porsche likes feeling like being filled to the brim. He likes it when Kinn fills his cunt up, making him feel like he can barely breathe. But Kinn is holding him, murmuring how good he is and Porsche… he feels warm.
Then he is turned over and Kinn is above him. Kinn pushes him against the mattress, and Porsche barely has time to prepare himself before Kinn grabs his thigh and pushes it near his chest, making him take Kinn deeper.
“Kinn, fuck,” Porsche moans. His hole gets wetter, slicker. It sounds dirty, the sounds Kinn’s cock makes every time he ruts into him. He squirms and tries to stroke his own cock, but Kinn takes his hand before he can do it. Kinn intertwines their fingers together and settles them beside his head, making Porsche unable to move his hands.
“I want you to come just from my cock.” Kinn runs his nose from his shoulder to his scent gland and continues to snap his hips into him. “You're taking me so well,” Kinn whispers to his ear.
He shudders at the praise. When it is for Kinn, it is easy to give up control. Porsche tilts his head, showing his neck, showing Kinn that he wants Kinn’s bite. But Kinn ignores Porsche’s neck and Porsche’s silent plea to be bitten on his scent gland.
He mewls, because he wants to be marked, to be claimed. Kinn hushes him, and licks his scent gland. It is close to what he wants to be done but not enough. He tightens their intertwined hands as Kinn continues to thrusts into him desperately before losing rhythm. From that, Porsche knows Kinn's close. The weight of Kinn’s cock makes Porsche instinctively tighten his legs around Kinn, pulling him closer.
Everything becomes too overwhelming and all his senses fade into static in Porsche’s mind. He remembers pleasure and pain. He remembers Kinn’s wooden smokey scent surrounding him. He remembers thinking safe, alpha, home.
He barely registers Kinn sucking another hickey to his nipples or his neck. He doesn’t try to remember when Kinn’s cock keeps hitting that spot in him, the pleasure building up and causing his stomach to tighten. He doesn’t need to remember, because all he feels is his orgasm hitting him, causing his toes to curl and his eyes to roll back. He lets go of Kinn’s hands and grabs onto Kinn’s back, pulling him closer. Kinn’s hips stutter deep in him and Porsche's hole stretches to Kinn’s knot that forms, locking into him as Kinn’s cum fills up his cunt.
A sense of euphoria washes over him. A sense of belonging. A sense of being claimed, of being only Kinn's. When he is under Kinn, being an omega doesn’t feel like a burden. It’s like he is one with who he is and who he should be.
Kinn’s skin and wooden smokey scent surround him. He floats from where he lies below Kinn and he is both everything and nothing.
That is when he starts feeling the nausea. His stomach turns and he gets dizzy. It makes him snap back into consciousness, away from his omega headspace.
“Kinn.”
“Yeah, baby?”
He wants to stand, but he knows that it will take a while before Kinn’s knot goes down. So he tells Kinn, “Hold me more.”
Porsche knows it's an odd request. He never asked Kinn to do that while Kinn is already holding him. Kinn does it regardless.
Kinn runs his fingers on his back. It is slow and deliberate. He distinctly feels Kinn’s gun-calloused fingers. He shivers with want as each touch leaves behind goosebumps. Kinn releases more of his scent. It surprisingly helps with the nausea, allowing Porsche to relax more within Kinn’s embrace.
He allows himself to fall into Kinn’s scent again and falls asleep.
︻デ═一
“Porsche.”
“Yeah, Kinn?”
“I have to go.” Kinn kisses his scent gland. “It’s your day off. You can stay here as long as you want.”
“Hmm, ‘kay.”
︻デ═一
When he wakes, he is in the nest that he has made deep in Kinn’s closet. He supposes Kinn carried him here after his knot went down. His skin and legs are also free from cum, so Kinn also cleaned him up. Purple bruises littler his skin, from his legs to his thighs. Porsche… feels so well cared for.
The nest is the one he made when he returned from the minor family’s house. Kinn offered his room to make a nest. Except Porsche knows that many people go in Kinn’s room and might wonder why an omega’s nest is in the corner of his room, so he told Kinn he’ll make it in his closet, as no one really goes in Kinn’s walk-in closet.
In Kinn’s closet, he is surrounded by their scents. Kinn’s thick blanket covers him and clothes belonging to both of them are below him. His summer grass scent mixes with Kinn’s wooden smokey scent, and it’s been too long since he allowed himself to release his true scent. He has always been either on scent blockers, pills or sprays for the past years, and it’s refreshing to just exist as the omega he always pretends not to be.
But, for Porsche, life is easier when he pretends to be a beta, both legally and socially. He doesn’t need to follow social and government rules such as wearing a collar, attending government-sanctioned omega schooling, or needing to have a beta or alpha guardian before marriage. He is able to be Chay’s beta guardian and they don’t need to rely on their Uncle Arthee for money or his signature to go get a job. He takes scent-neutralizing pills to help balance his hormones, making his scent seem like a beta, and he doesn’t need to wear a collar to mute his sweet omegan smell, and which shows to everyone that he is an omega.
But, the nausea. He has felt that before. He felt it during a time he doesn’t like remembering.
But it seems impossible. Kinn has told him that he is always on fertility suppressants. It was the first thing he asked Kinn after the first time they had sex when he was drugged. He specifically asked because he is not on suppressants, and he hasn’t been allowed to by his OBGYN since before because of how it affects his O hormones.
Kinn never asked him if he was on suppressants and he bets Kinn just assumed he was. Most omegas are. But he isn’t on any for his health. He knows he should have told Kinn about it, but telling Kinn means explaining to Kinn why his reproductive health is the way it is.
It dawns on him that he is supposed to get a natural heat sometime soon and yet he has no preheat symptoms at all.
In his nest, where all he is supposed to feel is safe, home, and belonging, he begins panicking. It gets harder to breathe.
He gets up from his nest, away from the warmth of it. He rushes to Kinn’s bedside table, where he left the cellphone Kinn gave him, and searches up the effects of GHBO[1] on omegas and alphas. He sees that a scent of an omega drugged with GHBO can affect the suppressants of an alpha. Shit. Fuck.
Porsche takes the scent-blocking spray and uses the whole bottle to douse his body with it. He then dresses up quickly and leaves the compound.
︻デ═一
At a 7-Eleven bathroom, far away from the Theerapanyakun residence, nervousness settles in his stomach. He waits. He rubs his hands together, the cold of the bathroom making him shiver. His fingers twitch and he gets the urge to smoke‐
But Porsche stops himself from lighting a cigarette and stares at his hands.
His mind feels far away from his body. Consciousness is questionable and in the far corner of his mind, he wonders how he’ll be able to get back to the compound after this. If he wants to go back at all. He is aware that his scent is turning noticeably sour, and he can’t stop or control it at all.
The timer on his phone rings. He looks at the pregnancy test. It's positive. People usually feel joy or fear when they see a positive pregnancy test. All Porsche feels is emptiness.
Porsche always said to himself that he would be thankful if it happened again—if it could happen again. He never thought it would happen while he isn’t mated.
He has heard from Vegas how Kinn killed the omega he was arranged to be married with because the omega and his family betrayed the Theerapanyakun clan. And while he doesn’t fear Kinn will lose affection for him, he fears the possibility that Korn would arrange another marriage for Kinn. Which… which would make him Kinn’s mia klang nok [2], his minor wife. Because why would Kinn give him a coveted position that's the first wife which could be used to build an alliance with another mafia family? And there are already rumors of Korn arranging another marriage for Kinn, much to Kinn’s irritation. But Korn is the head alpha of the family, and Kinn won’t be able to do anything about his father without directly challenging him. An alpha directly challenging the head alpha of the pack can only result in death or being kicked out of the family. Porsche is sure that neither Korn nor Kinn wants that to happen. With neither alpha willing to compromise, they are at a standstill.
But still, Kinn should have a high-standing omega as a first wife. It's what expected in their world. Whatever additional wife will follow would be up to Kinn, and Porsche thinks Korn fully expects Kinn to have more than one omega. It happens often enough with rich families, he knows. Having a second omega, or a minor wife, shows power. And Porsche can deal with that, he thinks, to be the second choice, the minor wife.
Kinn has never mentioned wanting children. He only mentioned wanting to have a big family, but not if he wanted a family with Porsche. He thinks Kinn will be happy. Maybe.
He could do it again. Maybe.
All he knows is he doesn’t want to decide anything at all.
He puts the positive pregnancy test in his pocket. He will throw it in a random trashcan, one that hundreds of people pass by every day.
Before going out of the bathroom, he throws away his cigarette pack.
Before he leaves the convenience store, he buys vitamins.
Before he heads back to the compound, he prays that this time he will be able to hold his pup.
︻デ═一
There was so much blood on Porsche’s legs.
There was too much fire, too much smoke, that he was barely able to breathe.
But he stood and ran away from the house, away from his suffering and occasional joy. And he ran towards the hope that life will become better somehow, easier.
He entered this home hoping for the same thing. And he was leaving it in flames.