Chapter 1: 1
Chapter Text
The Brood
1.
Shiranui Genma stared at the files dropped unceremoniously before him on the Hokage’s already overflowing desk, and briefly wondered just what he’d done to deserve this sort of punishment. He wasn’t the Third’s son like Asuma, so it couldn’t - shouldn’t - be personal. He didn’t ask for it, either, unlike Kurenai, who’d been on the wait list for veritable years before finally having her request granted. He wasn’t a general asshole in need of reconditioning like Kakashi, who deserved it solely for owing everyone a shit ton of money. He wasn’t a damn lunatic like Gai who needed the distraction, for fear his enthusiasm may cause mass desertion among the jonin of his generation.
So why him? Why now?
Overall, Genma thought he was a good shinobi of Konoha. No, that’s wrong - Genma bloody well knew he was an excellent shinobi of Konoha, and that there weren’t many like him. He was, first of all, 100% sane, which in and of itself was a considerable achievement, particularly since he’d been born during the Second Shinobi World War and then actively participated in the third… beginning at the ripe old age of ten. Genma also went through Konoha’s rankings systematically and appropriately: genin at ten, chunin at twelve via field promotion because, hello, war. Tokubetsu jonin at a solid fourteen when the Sandaime personally saw him put a senbon through an enemy’s eye - from the safety of seven hundred meters away. He was immediately dumped into ANBU, of course, and by the time Kakashi came to rain his brand of lunatic over the division two years later, Genma had been settled in enough to never, ever, have to witness the mess himself. Of course, then the war ended, and Genma became jonin at seventeen along with everybody else who survived. Very standard promotion procedure, no issues along the way. He’d never been field marshaled, never faced any complaints from clients or teammates. Never made any sort of trouble for anyone unless directly ordered to by a superior.
He was a great time, great fun, great bet.
So, at the risk of repeating himself: why him, and why now, dammit?!
“This year we’re trying out a new system for the fresh genin teams,” Hiruzen-sama told him gravely, entirely too serious for the occasion, and as if the information was of great importance to Genma. It wasn’t. “Due to Gai-kun deciding young Rock Lee needs to be directly apprenticed to make it in the field, we’ve had to… reconsider our previous methods, and settled on a complete reshuffle.”
Which meant there was a shortage of instructors, an influx of newbies, and fuck Genma’s life.
“Aa,” Genma said instead, with a steadily rising sense of dread. There would be only one logical reason for the topic of genin teams to be brought up before any jonin, alongside physical files and what could only be taken as platitudes. It didn’t, however, answer his original question of why, for all that was pointy and useful, him? He didn’t like kids. He avoided them like the plague. For all intents and purposes, he considered them to be a plague. For Genma, safe sex wasn’t a choice - it was a way of life, and he stuck to it religiously for a reason.
Genma hated children.
“These three were handpicked for you, Genma.”
‘Huh?’ Genma thought, rather dumbly, and then blinked uncomprehendingly at the files. The fuck did he mean, handpicked, and again, why for him of all available jonin?
“Have a look, please.” It wasn’t a request.
“Aa,” he gave verbal assent, anyway, nodded, and reached for the first folder. If his hands trembled it was entirely due to that pesky injury from yesterday’s bout of training, he was sure. It had nothing at all to do with the sudden churning of Genma’s stomach or his rapidly rising blood pressure.
Name: Hyuuga Neji*
Age: 13
Specialty: Tracking, Juuken expert
Taijutsu grade: 10\10
Genjutsu grade: 6.5\10
Ninjutsu grade: 10\10
Theory grade: 10\10
*Previously placed on Team Gai, under Might Gai. Team disbanded.
Evaluation: Top Rookie of graduating class 105. Perfect mission record on the previous team. Teamwork - lacking. Diplomacy - lacking. Client satisfaction - neutral. Best fit for quick promotion and solo activity.
A survivor of Gai's enthusiasm, at best. A discarded, hopeless case at worst. Joy to the world.
Genma wordlessly reached for the second file.
Name: Nara Shikamaru
Age: 12
Specialty: High IQ, tactical genius
Taijutsu grade: 7\10
Genjutsu grade: 6\10
Ninjutsu grade: 6\10
Theory grade: 7\10
Evaluation: Motivation - lacking. Teamwork - neutral. Diplomacy - superb. Unsociable, lacks initiative, apathetic. Recommended for strategic advisory departments.
“A clan heir?” Genma asked in surprise. “You’re breaking up the Ino-Shika-Cho formation?”
“I decided it would be for the best,” Hiruzen-sama nodded, “Shikaku agreed.”
“Huh.” Genma’s nose twitched, just slightly, as he reached for the third and final file. The first two were… curious. Particularly the rather unkind evaluation of the Academy’s management regarding their personalities and prospects. Not that he had much stock in these evaluations, seeing as his file had been a lump of lies - and maniac Kakashi’s even more so. Then again, so far Genma couldn’t really see what exactly was handpicked about a lazy genius and Gai’s former lackey.
Name: Haruno Sakura
Age: 12
Specialty: Chakra control, eidetic memory
Taijutsu grade: 4\10
Genjutsu grade: 10\10
Ninjutsu grade: 7.5\10
Theory grade: 10\10
Evaluation: Application - subpar. Knowledge - excellent. Temperament - unstable. Best for clerk work, avoid field dispatch if at all possible. Medical career possible, unrecommended.
Ah. That completed the picture.
‘Tracking, high IQ and chakra control.’ Genma tilted his head and considered it.
Evaluations aside - because no evaluation on anyone below the rank of jonin or with at least a decade of field experience was ever anything other than a lump of shit, his curiosity was… piqued. On paper the combination of talents was flawless: smart, analytical skills of the top-notch variant, not capable of flashy large-scale operation. Between the lines - control freaks, recluses, violent tendencies, don’t play nice, and don’t share well. The personality types of a very specific brand of operatives. More than that, the Hyuuga boy was handsome as all Hyuuga were. The Nara kid wasn’t bad looking either since he took after his wonderful momma Yoshino, and Genma will have to bleach his brain for thinking that. The girl would end up a knock-out, even the black-and-white picture in her file couldn’t hide it.
‘Pretty faces,’ Genma thought and tapped his foot twice on the linoleum floor. ‘Matching skillsets no matter how you look at it. There’s potential… other possible issues aside.’
Most issues could be either trained out of them or beaten out of them with sufficient violence. They were at impressionable ages yet, and Genma could, with enough incentive, be cajoled into impressing them. He was almost curious enough to be sold on it because it was glaringly obvious the Hokage, and most likely the Councilmen matched these three babies up with the sole hope of training a specialized ANBU cell from pubescence. A cell designed for infiltration, retrieval, and quick assassination - all Genma’s brand of work.
‘Handpicked for me,’ Genma mused, ‘designed for stealth. Quick assassination. Theft… Seduction.’
But… lacking in teamwork, motivation, and temperament. That could prove a challenge if Genma decides to keep them, which he might not do. Probably. Maybe.
“I am your bodyguard, Hokage-sama,” Genma said evenly, testing the waters for any possible wiggle room, if not an escape route altogether. He did not want in the middle of this mess, no matter how much talent he could sniff out of it. Prepubescent drama, and he was already smelling it, was not his cup of tea.
“If it’s for the future of Konoha, I’m willing to free up your schedule,” Hiruzen-sama said smoothly, his gaze sharpening a little. If there was a smidge of killing intent behind it, Genma placed the blame solely on Asuma’s feet - he’d stormed out of the office just as Genma entered and clearly pissed the Professor off quite spectacularly. There were singe marks on the left bookcase and the Hokage’s pipe was stuffed with double the tobacco he usually smoked.
‘No wiggling out of this one,’ he decided and stifled a sigh. ‘At least not immediately. They’re hell-bent on this, on me.’
“Where’s the catch?” he asked suspiciously.
Hiruzen-sama sipped his tea and said nothing. The gleam in his eyes, however, was almost apologetic. The Third was never apologetic about anything, which honestly did more to intrigue Genma than worry him - and maybe he should really go for that psyche evaluation mandated to all ANBU, but heck, for the foreseeable future he was all booked babysitting.
Genma gathered the files and took his leave.
‘Time to mee my brood,’ he thought gravely. ‘Please let them be easy.’
Genma was, unsurprisingly and per the norm, the first jonin to arrive at the Academy courtyard. He’d passed Asuma and Kurenai on his way, neck-deep in heavy flirting, which meant they’d be later than expected. Genma also had no doubt Kakashi was gallivanting around, purposely wasting time, lost on the road of insanity - sorry, life. Gai would not be present since he’d taken up an apprentice and directly fucked up Genma’s immediate plans, and there will be vengeance for it. Already angrier than he should be, Genma stalked into the building purposefully, eyes and ears as sharp as he could make them. He located Iruka’s chakra somewhere in the southern part and made his way over, his teeth gnawing aggressively on his favorite senbon and the tip of the sharp needle dangerously close to piercing his tongue, again. If he dragged his feet, he sure as heck didn’t care and there was no one around to notice, either.
Around thirty pairs of eyes turned to stare at Genma expectantly after he smacked aside the door of the classroom and stalked in. Iruka, rather than harping about minding the doors, gave him an almost apologetic look, and Genma began to suspect the chunin knew something he didn’t. Just like Hiruzen-sama.
‘Ain’t that comforting,’ he thought darkly as his eyes scanned the room with disinterest.
It was a unique class; he’d give them that. A whopping seven clan heirs, one of which was the Last Special Pretty-Eyed Uchiha, sarcasm mandatory. The Nine-Tailed jinchuuriki - and Genma fucking refused to think of that brat as anything more than a troublesome child handed an unfortunate responsibility. He was one of the ANBU constantly watching Uzumaki as he grew up, Genma knew the boy didn’t have an evil cell in his MSG-infused body. One pink-haired kid - and that one gave him pause because, c’mon.
“Alright,” Genma cleared his throat. “Hyuuga Neji, Nara Shikamaru, Haruno Sakura. Come along.”
“Eh?” the pink-haired girl, the only pink-haired girl he’d ever seen in his life so of course she’ll be his problem, gaped. “I – I’m on your team?”
“Yes,” he said stoically.
‘No, I’m having a laugh,’ he thought - not unkindly but not particularly charitably, either. It was a stupid ass question, and Genma didn’t like those. Then again, fresh graduates could, perhaps, be excused. Once or twice. If he was so inclined.
He wasn’t.
“You’re sure there’s no mistake?” she begged, “there wasn’t a mix-up?”
“Troublesome,” The Nara kid grumbled.
Hyuuga Neji was already standing by Genma’s side. He moved immediately, stiff limbed, and sullen-faced, and didn’t even glance at his teammates. He just glared emptily ahead, pointedly avoided looking at the only other Hyuuga in the class - and oh boy, did Genma hate that sort of drama - and kept his mouth shut. His displeasure was still very much obvious.
Genma put down ‘attitudes’ as the first major problem, the first reason he could use to boot the midgets out of his life.
“But! I want to be on the same team as Sasuke-kun!” Haruno Sakura wailed, completely heartbroken.
“Ugh, c’mon, Sakura,” Nara Shikamaru grabbed her by the arm, as if he were completely used to these sorts of stunts, and promptly dragged her over. A point in his favor, a point against her. So far the negatives outweighed the positives and Genma was almost pleased.
Genma noted a blonde girl flipping Sakura off as the two genin approached him, and there was no missing how Sakura’s eyes flashed murderously at the gesture.
‘Problem two: childish,’ He added, almost as an afterthought. All newbies were childish though. Besides, the spark of killing intent pink-hair had managed at the offending blonde was actually rather impressive, so he might just allow it.
Once they were out in the hallway, Genma nodded at the three brats looking up at him: one stoic, one bored, and one devastated. He turned around and lead the way towards Training Ground 4. Overall, nothing particularly stood out. All well within his expectations. But Genma wasn’t a very devoted cynic.
They might surprise him yet.
They surprised him, alright.
With how much of a fucking mess they were.
‘I knew there was a catch,’ he thought shakily. ‘There was no other reason for Iruka to look so guilty.’
As Genma stared the three genin down, he was mentally bashing each of their heads against any hard surface within reach. Then he contemplated snapping his own neck and being done with it because this was why Hiruzen-sama looked apologetic. It had dawned on him, rather suddenly, that he was never escaping these brats unless he died, or they truly managed to go places. No one will let him, no matter what valid reasons he cited, or how thick a logical report he handed in. Genma was stuck here, with them, until further notice. He spent years using protection religiously and dropping friendships at the mere mention of children, only to suddenly be responsible for a whole triad of them - and all at the very beginning of teenagerhood. This team wasn’t going places anytime soon, and suicide was beginning to look very appealing. He never did deal well with teenaged stupidity, and these three – gods help him.
Genma had, innocently enough, asked them to introduce themselves. Just some basic stuff, like their names and hobbies. It was standard procedure, it was literally the first step any new team took, no matter their rank or level of operations. It was as neutral and supposedly harmless as a fluffy bunny. How it escalated into Sakura screeching like a banshee, Neji snapping at her sharply, and Shikamaru covering his ears and swaying between them, was completely beyond Genma. The chaotic scene had been going on for ten minutes now and neither of the two showed any signs of stopping. Sakura was only getting louder and Genma’s initial surprise at the fact she enhanced her throat and voice with chakra - probably subconsciously - had melted into pure horror when it became obvious she could do so indefinitely. Neji seemed to draw on endless wells of waspishness, viciousness, and absolute scorn for any living thing and he showed no signs of ever slowing down or having any sort of boundary he’d not cross. Shikamaru had the looks of a well-trained middleman who was going through a brief readjustment period before his ingrained ‘no-fucks-given’ Nara-bred attitude re-emerged and that would be that.
Suddenly, as Sakura lashed out with a finger in Neji’s face, nearly taking his eyes out, and Neji slapped her hand away with entirely too much strength, Genma had a strong sense of déjà vu. A moment later he almost got whiplash from the violent flashback to a preteen Kakashi engaging in a shouting match with an infuriated Obito, a bashful Rin stuck in the middle. That, if nothing else, snapped him out of his horrified stupor and gave his survival instincts the jab they needed to decide -
‘Oh hell no. I am not going through this shit.’
Genma put two fingers in his mouth and whistled sharply. Sakura immediately shut up. Neji turned to stare at him, openly insulted. Shikamaru looked grateful if mildly rattled by the jarring sound. Genma didn’t give a fuck, he was panicking, planning, and processing outcomes simultaneously.
“You done?” Genma drawled. “No, please, by all means, if you want to look even more idiotic, carry on. I’ll put you back in the Academy and return to my very cushy job of guarding our esteemed Hokage. You think I signed up for this nonsense?” Never mind the fact he hadn’t signed up for any of it, at all, ever.
Neji grunted and looked away.
Shikamaru slumped lower in his seat.
“I – I’m sorry, Sensei,” Sakura mumbled with an embarrassed flush to her cheeks.
Genma felt his eyebrow rise and added ‘obedient’ as an advantage the little girl had over her teammates. The sole advantage, so far. All three were cowed by authority though, and that was useful. He could do authority.
“Let’s make something clear, hmm?” Genma gave each genin a sharp glare sans killing intent, at least as much as he could make it. “I don’t want to be here any more than you do. This is a waste of time, specifically, a waste of my time. I don’t like wasting my time. Are you hearing me?”
The three nodded and said nothing. Good.
“Start over. You first, Shikamaru, again. The peanut gallery is going to behave.” He levelled a warning look at Sakura and Neji. She nodded eagerly; he rolled his eyes. Both kept blissfully quiet, so Genma counted it as a win.
“Troublesome,” Shikamaru deadpanned. “I’m Nara Shikamaru. I like cloud gazing and shogi. I don’t like troublesome things. In the future, I’d like to live a quiet, trouble-free life.”
‘Lazy brat,’ Genma thought, ‘exactly like Shikaku says… and anticlimactic.’ But anticlimactic was good, and within expectations was good. Genma could work with that, he would work with that.
“Next, Sakura.”
“Okay sensei! I’m Haruno Sakura!” Sakura said cheerfully, “I like skincare and Uchiha Sasuke-kun!”
Shikamaru visibly cringed and Neji looked like he was physically biting his tongue to stop himself from saying something snarky, as per his orders. Genma, too, was trying very hard not to roll his eyes and prayed for strength because... A fangirl. He got saddled with a fangirl, of the Last Uchiha to boot. There was no Karmic justice in the world that this wasn’t Kakashi’s due.
“I don’t like being dirty and I don’t like it when crazy pigs hound Sasuke-kun.”
For whatever reason, Shikamaru snorted and very poorly hid it as a cough. Sakura elbowed him in the gut, and they exchanged a brief smirk as if it were some kind of joke. It took him exactly ten seconds to connect the word pig to ‘Ino’ and wasn’t Inoichi’s daughter named that? Inoichi’s blonde daughter, the same age as these brats. And wait, wasn’t she the one who’d flipped Sakura off as they were leaving the classroom? Genma almost snorted, because though it was infantile, it was also a bit clever to laugh at the frankly ironic naming choice. He entertained the thought that perhaps there was hope for some teamwork yet. All he needed was a little bit of effort and he could make it stretch -
“In the future, I want to be the Uchiha Matriarch!”
Genma’s hopes died faster than a squished bug. He closed his eyes at this, mostly to avoid looking at Sakura’s dreamy expression matched against Shikamaru’s sheerly exasperated one and Neji’s ever-deepening scowl of disgust. Genma sent a very brief prayer for Hiruzen-sama’s back pains to flare up for landing him in this mess. He couldn’t believe this is what he had to work with, and his last kid didn’t even speak yet, beyond throwing scathing insults with the viciousness of a bitter hag.
‘Time to nip this in the bud,’ he decided.
“Okay.” He said, more to himself than his rapidly disliked students. Genma took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and settled them unseeingly somewhere above the brats’ heads. “You are aware of Konoha regulation regarding relationships within teams, yes?”
Sakura blinked, uncomprehending.
“Teammates are banned from taking part in romantic bonds, as it compromises the efficiency of their work.” Genma focused his eyes on Sakura and waited for the dime to drop. It took very little time, as her green eyes sparkled with something he did not want to entertain, but bigger problems at later times. Now he needed her to want this team. “So if anything, be glad that you are not in the same cell as… Uchiha Sasuke, was that the name?”
Sakura both wilted and puffed up at the insinuated disrespect and disinterest shown towards the object of her fangirling obsession, but Genma didn’t care. His message was otherwise received and comprehended.
“Last one,” Genma said blankly, hiding the vestiges of his utter exhaustion inside himself. “Neji.”
“You clearly know us,” Neji said, “I don’t see the point of this exercise.”
“Do it anyway,” Genma growled, patience done with.
“Hyuuga Neji,” Neji snapped. “I train. I dislike weakness. My future is already determined, I don’t see the point in pondering it.”
Genma almost gaped.
‘And this level of pessimism after one year with Gai?’ he thought as numbness spread inside him. ‘This is what they gave me to work with?’
He must’ve done something to truly irritate the Third. Something unforgivable. This had to be personal, there was no way this was just a coincidence. There was no way, none, that the Hokage only matched this team based on skillsets and left everything else up to luck. The Third was thorough, almost obsessively thorough, he wouldn’t have missed this. Iruka didn’t miss this, so how could Hiruzen-sama -
“What a stick in the mud,” Sakura said, not at all quietly.
“As opposed to a vapid hag,” Neji sneered.
“Why you!”
As the shouting recommenced, Genma thought about the three files he’d shoved in one of his sealing scrolls. They were incredibly defective, he decided. Even the unflattering evaluations. Perhaps the Academy’s teachers and management team should contemplate including mandatory personality analysis and training in the curriculum. No, they had to do it if only to spare future jonin instructors the sheer trauma of having their hopes dashed so spectacularly, all within fifteen minutes. Genma was going to submit a report about it, an extensive and very graphic report. For the future of Konoha, he had to.
On paper, Team 4 was an espionage dream
In practice, it hadn’t been half an hour and Genma already wanted to hang himself, after he hanged them. And he had no way to wiggle out of this.
Joy.
Chapter 2: 2
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto.
Chapter Text
The Brood
2.
Despite their catastrophic beginning, it still took Genma three weeks to realize extreme measures needed to be employed when handling the freshly christened Team 4. Alright, no, he realized extreme measures would be necessary within the first day, but it did take him three weeks to accept it. Otherwise, all three of the brats would kick the bucket, metaphorically and possibly literally, the moment they stepped out of Konoha’s protective borders and Genma didn’t want to deal with the paperwork that would saddle him with.
The problem wasn’t even their skills.
Despite his reticence and inability to play nice, Neji was without a doubt a Hyuuga prodigy. No, he must be a prodigy even among the Hyuuga, for the sheer talent the boy displayed with practically everything. Ninjutsu, taijutsu, planning his moves - Neji had it all down. Except for genjutsu, which despite perfect theoretical knowledge of, Neji couldn’t seem to handle even a little bit in practice. Sakura, on the other hand, was amazing at it. Her level of chakra control was absolutely unprecedented in fresh genin, and it nearly had Genma salivating – he could do so much with her, teach her so many things with the combination of that control and talent for genjutsu, but it wasn’t possible. She showed no interest in anything beyond her appearance and daydreaming about the Uchiha brat, to the point of not only being unhelpful but actively inhibiting her teammates. Shikamaru was in a league all his own, intelligence-wise and lack of motivation-wise. A week after they began their tenure as a team, Genma dragged all three to get an IQ test and threatened Shikamaru with permanently pairing with Sakura to make the boy apply himself seriously. An IQ of over 200, tactical understanding and strategic thinking that put most elite jonin to shame, and ninjutsu analysis skills that were unheard-of even among the Hokage’s most seasoned advisors. Shikamaru’s potential as a team leader was incredible, but he didn’t care about anything other than moving as little as possible, sleeping as much as he could, and remaining untroubled.
It was painful.
On paper Team 4 had so much promise, from a talent-having perspective, that Genma almost put out a banner on the streets declaring them the upcoming masters of their generation. Almost. Their personalities though… if Genma didn’t suffer liver failure at least once during his tenure as their teacher, then he might yet ascend to godhood for divine patience.
Team training didn’t commence successfully even once, and it has almost been a month. Sakura and Neji were constantly at each other’s throats. Neji refused to cooperate and make any attempt at teamwork; Sakura wouldn’t go anywhere near the Hyuuga without pitching a fit, and both usually lost track of whatever they were doing in favor of snapping at each other and behaving like children. Granted they were children, but they were also genin shinobi tasked with the protection of their village and its populace, at all costs. They had no right to be so… out of it. Shikamaru did as he was told most of the time, but the second his teammates began their daily round of head-butting he laid down where he stood and went to sleep. If he couldn’t sleep, usually because their screeching wouldn’t let him, he egged them on shamelessly for either vengeance or his amusement.
Individual training, with significant distance put between the three, was great. Neji did as he was told without a word, applied any corrections near-instantly, and was remarkably driven. He wanted his promotion and independence as quickly as possible, and Genma was convinced it was because the boy hadn’t yet figured out he was never getting off Team 4. Otherwise, Neji would’ve likely defected on principle. Sakura thrived on pleasing authority figures, absorbed knowledge like a sponge and so long as she remained clean and smelling of roses, had no issues committing to the training at hand - with great results. Shikamaru was not motivated, at all, and did the bare minimum, but even his bare minimum was leaps and leaps better than most average genin, guaranteeing a steady advancement.
The issue was any advancement and improvement were limited unless they worked together - and they would not.
Genma was close to a breaking point. He had exhausted all common means of punishment.
He had them run laps until they collapsed (Sakura broke after three, Shikamaru in ten, and Neji on his thirtieth lap). They quickly resumed bitching once they could regulate their breathing.
He signed them up for the nastiest D-rank available as their first mission. It made things worse. Sakura shoved Neji into a swamp of sewage gunk for insulting her forehead and the Hyuuga dragged her along, by the hair. The resulting tantrum was so horrifying Neji looked close to apologizing profusely – and had Sakura carried on crying he probably would have done just that, but, true to her Academy evaluation, she flipped halfway through and threw a garbage can at his head. A solid, iron-cast garbage bin that she shouldn’t have been able to pick up. She missed, just barely, and Neji abruptly resumed his active antagonizing. Shikamaru had straight out left as soon as Neji opened his mouth again, refusing to go anywhere near the incoming explosion. Genma couldn’t blame him, he’d taken one look at Sakura’s crazed eyes and done the same. Neither was sure what, exactly, transpire but on the next day Neji showed up to team training with a scratched-up face and Sakura had sported a black eye. Their relationship only deteriorated from that point, and Genma didn’t dare accept another mission involving any sort of filth for fear of what that would yield.
One time, towards the end of their third week as a team, having completely lost it, Genma put them in time out. Sakura sulked. Neji meditated. Shikamaru took a nap.
The only thing keeping Genma from threatening his underaged demons with very real and permanent maiming was the fact Kakashi and Asuma were much, much worse off. At least Genma’s little shits obeyed orders to the tee. They kept their stupidity out of most missions, particularly those involving clients, and never interrupted Genma’s teaching when he was actively engaged in it. If Genma was talking, the three goons were silent as graves. If Genma gave instructions, the trio followed them to the letter. If Genma was out of sight, he didn’t give a shit what they were up to.
Asuma had three loud rows with the Sandaime demanding a reshuffling of the teams during the first week alone. Three loud, almost violent, screaming matches, and he’d had been escorted out by the protective ANBU detail after the second one. For some reason, Asuma couldn’t get any sort of handle on the three girls assigned to him. They had him by the balls to the point of tears - Team 3 hadn’t gone on any mission yet, for fear of losing the village clients permanently. Kakashi had tried to bribe Anko into taking his triad after two weeks, but even she wasn’t willing to go anywhere near the already infamous Team 7. In Anko’s defense, by that point Team 7 had already made a name for itself as Konoha’s most chaotic clusterfuck of a unit to ever, well, fuckup. Whoever put the walking Uchiha trauma besides the screaming Kyuubi brat was obviously either a sadist or clinically insane, because that was not a good match. At all. The only one who seemed perfectly fine and content with their lot was Kurenai. Her team was getting on swimmingly, training on schedule daily, and completing D-ranks front, back, and center.
But still, all of those weren’t Genma’s problems.
His problems were currently in the middle of a three-way wrestle. Neji should have won by now, but he wasn’t used to the combination of hair pulling, face clawing and unholy shrieking Sakura labeled fighting, and Shikamaru – pissed beyond words for being stomped on when the mess first started – used his family’s jutsu liberally against the culprit. Read: Neji. He was outnumbered, outsmarted, and out-brawled if such a term existed.
‘At least they’re cooperating,’ Genma thought distractedly. ‘No, wait, not against each other!’
As he pried the trio apart and got an elbow to the chin for his efforts, Genma’s ANBU ruthlessness reared up its head and an idea - a stroke of genius really - manifested in his mind. He got up, pulled the wiggling mass of curses, screeches, and mutters apart, and shoved them a good distance away from each other. Genma leveled each dumbass with a livid look and drank up their sudden mixture of sheepishness and dread with only mild satisfaction.
“Out of my sight,” he ordered sharply. He needed to prepare, and he couldn’t do that while babysitting them.
The three scrooges obeyed without hesitation and not one of them looked back.
Extreme measures, indeed. It was time to book a special training ground and get himself some much-needed time off to peacefully plan ahead. Before his sanity nose-dived off a cliff as Gai’s had years ago.
Genma needed off this team and the only way he was getting that was by booting them through the ranks and into ANBU. To achieve this, to maintain his perfect performance levels and thus his cushy salary, he needed them to be capable of working together - they needed to train, complete missions, and coexist with at the very least minimal ability to get along. What brought people together best? Drinking, obviously, but his brats were all underage. Hence, the second-best option: a life-threatening crisis. There was none to be found in such peaceful times but hey - Genma knew exactly how to forge one.
A full month after their formation Team 4 gathered at the entrance to Training Field 16. The sun hadn’t risen fully yet, it was quite cold outside, and as per Genma-sensei’s orders, they skipped breakfast and packed nothing aside from their regular gear. It was meant to be a day of training, and no one needed anything special for that.
“Training Field 16 is designed for ANBU,” Sakura told the half-asleep Shikamaru worriedly. “Why are we here?”
“It can be adjusted for personal needs,” Neji growled. “Now shut up. It’s too early for you.”
“Screw you, jackass!”
“Crybaby.”
“White-eyed freak!”
“Surfboard forehead.”
Shikamaru rubbed at his eyes tiredly and tuned out the rapidly escalating conflict. It was too early, for everything and anything. He was confident Genma-sensei had a reason for calling them here, and Shikamaru wished their jonin instructor would just get on with it because for the love of God if Sakura started screeching he was going to shove a kunai in his ears. He couldn’t handle that level of insanity anymore and permanent deafness sounded like a dream right about now. It was a good dream, too, as it would retire him from the shinobi corps effective immediately and put him out of the misery known as Team 4. Forever.
“Oi,” Genma-sensei’s voice snapped, and the jonin appeared right before them not even a moment later. “Put a sock in it, you two. It’s four in the morning, Shodaime’s sake.”
“Good morning Genma-sensei!” Sakura chirped.
“Teacher’s pet,” Neji muttered.
Sakura tried to kick him in the shin, missed and hit Shikamaru’s butt instead.
“Dammit, Sakura!”
“Sorry!”
“I said enough!” Genma-sensei snapped and the three immediately straightened. They learned that this sort of tone meant business, and business was to be conducted smoothly - or else. “I’ve set up a little survival training, especially for you. It considers your strengths and weaknesses, very personalized. Took me all night to set it up, so you better appreciate my effort, yeah?” Genma-sensei gave them the stink-eye until all three muttered their thanks loud enough for him to hear. “Good. Now, you’re going into Training Field 16 for the next two weeks. The more obstacles you overcome and the more traps you take apart the higher your grade. Each trap triggered and each obstacle course failed will lower the grade. The winner gets a prize. Feeling up to it?”
“Troublesome.”
“Hn.”
“Okay sensei!”
Genma-sensei nodded and unlocked the gate, gesturing for them to walk past him. The moment Shikamaru, the last in line, stepped through, Genma-sensei slammed the gate shut with a maniacal sort of cackle and the built-in ANBU barrier went up, preventing an escape.
“Sensei?” Sakura squeaked in surprise. Surprise Shikamaru felt in his stomach and even Neji felt, if his wide-eyed stare was any indication. They knew their sensei wasn’t all there - he’d put them in an honest to kunai time out for crying out loud - but they still trusted him.
“You’re on your own!” Genma-sensei told them cheerfully, “you are expected to work together on every obstacle and trap. If you separate, you’ll be disqualified and scrubbing clogged toilets for the next month. No maiming or murdering each other, either. That means jail time. See you in two weeks, brats!”
And he ran off, just like that.
Behind Shikamaru, Sakura and Neji were deathly silent, but only because Sakura had grabbed Neji by the throat and he had her by the hair, trying to do exactly what Genma-sensei forbade them from doing, all without making a sound. Evidently, they had enough sense to try and not agitate whatever lurked in Konoha’s second-largest training ground. Their “sense” lasted for approximately two minutes and twenty seconds.
“Ugh! This is all your fault!” Sakura screeched.
“Mine? I’m not a menace to society! You’re the obsessive stalker with zero skills -“
“Fatalistic bastard -“
“Ugly harpy -“
Shikamaru felt his eyebrow twitch. Those were going to be two weeks straight from hell, he was sure of it.
Chapter 3: 3
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto.
Chapter Text
The Brood
3.
Ultimately, it took Shikamaru snapping to get things in order. Not surprising, given that the other two members of Team 4 descended to unique levels of stupidity whenever in each other’s presence. Still, he sort of wished Neji had stepped up – being the most experienced, not to mention the oldest. Hell, Shikamaru would’ve gone along with Sakura taking control of the situation, too. He half expected it, what with her bossy nature and unyielding refusal to listen to anything Neji had to say. Neither happened and Shikamaru was left with reluctantly taking the reigns for the first time in his life.
He wasn’t happy about it, not really, but he couldn’t blame Genma-sensei for the attempt - or find too much fault in the logic behind it. And there was logic, in each and every action their sensei took. It wasn’t just a spike of insanity, no matter how much Sakura insisted on it. Genma-sensei was probably the sanest jonin instructor of the year, aside from Kurenai-sensei, but he’d also been a jonin for over a decade and she had only been officially promoted the year before. Joint survival often brought even the most unlikely of people closer together. It was psychological - you go through something traumatic and difficult together, you come out bonded in one way or another. But as Shikamaru watched Sakura spit - actually spit - in Neji’s face, and Neji tell her to go fuck herself - verbatim, without twitching an eyebrow - he doubted even going through a war together would fix those two.
As it were, leadership. It happened in two steps.
First, was Sakura nearly skewering herself. They’d been stomping their way deeper into the training field in search of a place to make camp. Rather, Sakura was stomping, Neji marched and Shikamaru dragged his feet. He was ardently praying to any available deity that Genma-sensei hadn’t hidden any predators around because the amount of ruckus Neji and Sakura were making would definitely draw their attention and that would not be good. As he was contemplating running for his life and abandoning fort, consequences be damned, Shikamaru noted how Neji’s eyes narrowed for a split second before the Hyuuga resolutely turned his head. Not even a moment later Sakura shrieked and raised her hands in surprise. The only reason she’d not been run through by the incoming sharp projectile was Shikamaru bodily tackling her to the ground. She’d set off a trap. Neji snorted and carried on. Shikamaru mentally swore at him for being a troublesome dick, hauled Sakura to her feet, and decided to watch out for her himself.
Second, was Neji drowning. Literally drowning. Shikamaru was so busy watching out for Sakura, directing her around several more traps as they went, he completely missed how it happened, exactly, but he did see Sakura’s mouth twitch – as if she were biting down an exclamation, or a warning. A moment later there was a splash and before either of them knew it, Neji was in deep water. Flailing in deep water. Wildly flailing. Sakura collapsed in a fit of giggles and Shikamaru, once again, found himself hauling a teammate up. Only this time he had to dive into a tiny, freezing cold well and drag someone taller - and heavier, too - than him out of it. By Neji’s pale countenance and deep scowl, Shikamaru deduced swimming was another thing the boy genius couldn’t do, just like genjutsu. Coincidentally, something which Sakura could do very well. It didn’t take him a long time to figure out what went down and the possible ramifications of it managed to do something even Ino’s permanent presence in his life hadn’t.
It sent him over the edge.
“Are you two serious?!” Shikamaru yelled.
Sakura choked on her laughter and gaped at him. Neji, too, abruptly stopped glaring daggers at their female teammate in favor of staring at Shikamaru. It was understandable, Shikamaru never raised his voice. He rarely got involved in their cat-fighting, either. As a rule, Shikamaru did Shikamaru and avoided trouble with a religious sort of fervor. Having him explode quite so suddenly was cause for alarm – especially for Sakura who’d known him for years. Neji was openly taking his cues from her for the first time, accurately deducing that if the harpy had shut up and paid attention, so should he.
“Sakura could’ve gotten seriously injured! Neji could’ve drowned to death!” Shikamaru growled, “do either of you realize the consequences of that?”
“Genma-sensei would pound on us,” Sakura said immediately, her tone a little defensive. “It’s no big deal.”
“Really, Sakura?” Shikamaru hissed, “didn’t you get the highest theoretical scores in our year? You’re supposed to be book smart.”
Neji raised an eyebrow at that. Clearly, he hadn’t known this little tidbit about Sakura and Shikamaru couldn’t blame him. She did behave like a complete bimbo 99% of the time, after all. The other 1% she was a raving, spiteful kitten with extra sharp claws. Didn’t exactly inspire respect. Plus, he very rarely insulted her out loud, so that might have added a layer of urgency to the situation at hand.
“Genma-sensei’s punishment aside,” Shikamaru snarked, “we could’ve gotten disqualified as a team. D’you get it? Sent back to the Academy! This is Neji’s second team, I doubt they’ll give him a third!”
“Huh?” Sakura blinked, frowned, and then turned to look at Neji seriously. “You had another team?” she asked, genuinely curious and not at all snappish. The rapid change of pace was a little disappointing, as Shikamaru hadn’t satisfied his need to yell at them yet, but the prospect of the two actually speaking like civilized humans was too good to pass up.
“Hn.” Neji looked away and nodded his head.
“What happened?” Sakura asked.
“Disbanded,” Neji said flatly, obviously not interested in expanding on the subject.
“Oh,” Sakura tilted her head thoughtfully and Shikamaru almost thanked his lucky stars, because she finally seemed to be using her brain. “What happens if they disband us, too?”
“I return to the Clan,” Neji said, his tone so stiff and cold it was obvious what he thought of that.
“Heck no!” Sakura exclaimed and jumped to her feet. “I’m not going back to the Academy, so you’re not going back to your clan. Sorry for not warning you.” She looked at her feet then and blushed a heavy red in embarrassment. “I don’t mean to be useless. And now I endangered you, too. Sorry.”
Shikamaru and Neji both stared at her for a long moment. Shikamaru hadn’t seen Sakura being nice, genuinely nice, in years. Probably not since her friendship with Ino ended, for whatever asinine reason. Neji most likely didn’t even know the feature existed, since he’d only ever experienced Sakura being a teacher’s pet or a raving fangirl.
“You’re not useless,” Neji said monotonously.
Sakura’s head snapped up so quickly it was a miracle she hadn’t broken her neck. Shikamaru’s jaw dropped in surprise. He did not expect them to be breaching into flattery so soon, if at all. At best he’d hoped for some mutual understanding and perhaps a compromise. Maybe some god really did listen to his prayers.
“If you were, they wouldn’t put you on the team,” Neji clarified, obviously uncomfortable under their scrutiny. “Useless nin don’t graduate from the Academy.” He added awkwardly, as if trying to impress upon them he was not being nice, just practical. Still, his ears were a little too red for that, but Shikamaru decided not to comment on it. He was not looking the gift horse in the mouth.
“He’s got a point,” he said instead, with a slow nod. “You had the best theoretical grades; you’ve got kick-ass chakra control and you’re the best on the team with genjutsu.”
“Yeah, well!” Sakura was still blushing, but all signs of shyness had evaporated. “Shikamaru you’re really smart, like insanely so. You can plan faster than I can follow. And Neji, your taijutsu is amazing. And you can track better than Iruka-sensei did.”
“Hold that thought,” Shikamaru said, feeling a light go off in his head.
“Tracking, genjutsu, tactics,” Neji repeated, his tone mildly surprised and Shikamaru wondered if maybe the other boy had the same idea.
“No way,” Sakura’s eyebrow twitched. “Don’t tell me they did that.” He didn’t exactly expect Sakura to pick up on their line of thought, but he really shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was. She wasn’t dumb, she just acted it - they’d all taken the same IQ test and Genma-sensei had danced, actually danced, when their grades came in.
“They matched us by skill set!” Shikamaru groaned, “no wonder we’re with Genma-sensei!”
“Explain,” Neji demanded.
“Shiranui Genma,” Shikamaru recited, “Hokage’s bodyguard. My dad works with him a lot. Chunin by twelve, jonin by seventeen. ANBU captain before that. Hokage’s personal on-call cell from age twenty. Specializes in infiltration and retrieval.”
“We’re a stealth team,” Neji said flatly, extremely unimpressed.
“We’re being groomed to be a stealth team, you mean.” Sakura tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. “They’re not breaking us up. This is it for us, isn’t it? This is a permanent operation cell.”
“I hate this,” Shikamaru complained. “We’re going to have so much work, this is troublesome.”
“Hold your horses, lazy ass,” Sakura snorted. “First we’ve got to make it out of here in one piece.”
“Ugh, give me ten minutes,” Shikamaru groused and sat down, folding himself into his thinking position, legs bent, and arms crossed.
Without a word of complaint, or to each other, Sakura and Neji began shuffling around the little clearing. Neji easily put up temporary shelter, Sakura dispelled the genjutsu around the well where Neji took a dive. Seamlessly, both of them dug out a tiny firepit and filled it with dried wood. Then they sat down in front of Shikamaru, Sakura visibly nervous, Neji openly cautious. Neither even realized they were getting along just fine.
“Yeah, okay,” Shikamaru nodded. “This is what we’ll do-”
After the first night, they set up an efficient division of tasks.
Neji was responsible for keeping watch for anything gross, dangerous, or weird Genma-sensei had planted around them. He was the only one who reacted as soon as they woke up to Sakura screaming hysterically – a sleek snake had wrapped around her ankles and looked ready to take a bite. Neji grabbed it by the head and squashed the fragile skull without fully waking up, hence landing himself the role of ‘nastiness exterminator’, as dubbed by a shaken Sakura.
Sakura, having memorized all Academy textbooks to the tee, could safely forage for edible plants, roots, and berries. She did it with great efficiency and surprised the two boys by managing to cook up edible foods with what she’d found. After Neji squashed the first snake - and Genma-sensei really overdid it with the reptiles, in Shikamaru’s opinion - Sakura emerged from the woods carrying plump, round blueberries and presented them to Neji with sincere thanks. Apparently, food and rescue were the recipes for solving problems, because from the moment Neji stuffed the blueberries in his mouth, the two’s constant bickering lost a great deal of aggression and meanness. They still hissed at each other near constantly, but their insults carried a teasing tone, their voices held no real animosity.
It was the miracle of the decade, as far as Shikamaru was concerned.
Since the only mundane task left was hunting, it fell to Shikamaru. Luckily, his family jutsu made it easy, even for a literal beginner. There weren’t many animals who could outrun their own shadow, after all. There was also the fact that, unlike Sakura, he didn’t get queasy if he had to stab a bunny or gut a fish. Neji had surprised everyone by flat out refusing to twist a bird’s neck, rather letting it go with a quietly muttered ‘it was small’. Sakura nodded enthusiastically and repeated the sentiment. Shikamaru, unamused, called both pussies to their faces and did it himself, all the while cursing himself for not thinking ahead and packing up rations, Genma-sensei’s orders be damned.
“Let’s get on the traps,” Sakura suggested on the evening of their third day, as they chewed on some wild carrots and bunny stew.
“We should.” Neji agreed. “It’s the point of the exercise.”
“The point is to encourage teamwork,” Shikamaru corrected in a drawl. “This isn’t a competition.”
“I wonder what the prize is anyway,” Sakura hummed. “And how one wins.”
“Probably something weird,” Neji grunted. “Genma-sensei is odd. Not like my previous instructor, but…”
“Fair point.” Sakura shrugged. “How’re we playing this, then?”
She and Neji turned to Shikamaru expectantly and he found himself immediately thinking about it, not even stopping to complain as per usual. Within ten minutes they had an initial plan, after twenty they revised it, and in thirty they were good to go.
It was odd, Shikamaru decided on day seven, how easy Team 4 was. Once they found their rhythm they worked together so well it was mildly disturbing, because neither was used to cooperation. Their skillsets really did compliment each other near perfectly: Sakura located and dismantled genjutsu, Neji easily put down anything physical, and Shikamaru took over the fuinjutsu-based traps as he could usually figure them out pretty quickly. Some traps were a combination of two or even all three styles. The first time it happened they’d struggled to get past it, not used to thinking together over taking orders from one person. Sakura, being a nearly friendless only child, didn’t know how to yield. Neji, the self-imposed exile, couldn’t compromise to save his life. Shikamaru, the detached genius, struggled with articulating himself out loud. Still, they tried it, if only because they wouldn’t lose to Genma-sensei’s damn plots.
By the tenth time, it was as easy as breathing.
Perhaps it was because all three of them were of above-average intelligence. Sakura’s IQ was the lowest, but it sat pretty at a staggering 166 which made her no slouch. She could keep up with Neji’s 173 just fine, simply for being more creative, and both of them quickly caught up to Shikamaru without him needing to spell everything out, if only because they actively listened to his words.
It was a new experience. Throughout his childhood, Shikamaru hung out with Choji and Ino a lot, because their parents hung out a lot. While Ino wasn’t stupid by any means, she was a little bit of a bully and too bossy for Shikamaru’s tastes. Choji was nice and Shikamaru considered him his best friend, but their hobbies differed so much that sometimes just maintaining a conversation for longer than ten minutes was difficult. Even amongst the Nara Shikamaru was considered a genius, so it was with a heavy heart that he resigned himself to playing lazy for fear of alienating his closest friends even before he’d begun attending school. In the Academy, Shikamaru made friends with Naruto – who was more intelligent than he looked or acted but still nowhere near enough Shikamaru’s level to keep their interactions interesting over time. Shikamaru had all but despaired, and by graduation, he was ready to be put on the traditional Ino-Shika-Cho team and operate as the single brain cell of the unit.
That didn’t happen.
Instead, he was put on Team 4. Team 4, that could think together. Under Genma-sensei, who kept them on their toes and took no cheek. With his teammates who picked up the slack and pulled their own weight. For the first time in his life, Shikamaru felt intellectually stimulated.
By the time ten days of survival training were up, their personalities also started to get accustomed to each other. Neji was blunt, to the point of rudeness, and a sworn pessimist, but he was capable of kindness and gentleness neither of his teammates could produce, even under duress. He was patient and honest, mature beyond his years when not giving in to petty arguments. Sure, Neji was arrogant, but he had a reason to be – he was outstanding in nearly all areas. His sense of humor was dry and dark, almost tactless, but it matched well with Sakura’s abrasive personality and Shikamaru’s uncaring attitude.
And Sakura was, without a doubt, abrasive. She cared about her looks to the point of obsession and had worryingly violent tendencies and zero impulse control. But she was warm. Once Sakura decided to be a part of the team, approximately one second after Neji squashed the snake for her, she was part of the team. Sakura gave out sunny smiles like they were free candy, helped out without being asked to, and handed compliments and assurances without thought. She was honest, too, stubborn, and loud when experiencing strong emotions, but it made her seem incredibly alive.
Shikamaru liked his peace and quiet, preferred to laze around all day, and couldn’t be bothered with drama. He really was a mostly laidback sort of guy, accepting you as you came, not fussy in the slightest. Most of the time he was genuinely apathetic. Everything was easy and easy was boring. Boring wasn’t troublesome though, and he liked it that way. But Sakura and Neji, they were interesting. They kept up. They were troublesome to the point of tears, but they let Shikamaru be as he was. They didn’t try to make him more active as long as he carried his weight and they left him alone when he needed, without being asked. They were easy, a new sort of easy.
Team 4 was easy.
For having known each other for such a short amount of time – for some – they did start to work well together. Their first and only bump occurred after they decided to start tackling Genma-sensei’s thrice damned obstacles. Specifically, the odd monstrosity Neji literally fell into on their eleventh day locked in…
“No, no, no!” Sakura stomped her foot. “This isn’t how you do it!”
Neji climbed out of a mud swamp beneath a slimy, reeking piece of almost rotten lumber, threw his filthy hair over his shoulder, and leveled Sakura with a glare so venomous it was a miracle she didn’t keel over on the spot. Shikamaru, from his place hanging on for dear life right above Neji’s head, also scowled at her.
“You do it then, Miss Prissy,” Neji snarled.
“Do show us the way, master,” Shikamaru backed him up, in a rare display of annoyance.
“Fine!” Sakura huffed.
To their absolute shock and annoyance, she aced it on her first try. After staring at it for less than a minute, Sakura climbed the steep wall with no visible physical effort, hanging horizontally from her feet in defiance of gravity, marched past the slippery and slimy lumber where Shikamaru was still dangling, scaled down the fucking improvised cliff, through a wall of hanging ropes and came out completely unscathed. She hadn’t even broken much of a sweat, never mind stumbled on the way.
Shikamaru let go of the lumber and sunk into the mud in defeat, causing an impressive splash to further drown Neji in the disgusting little swamp. Neji hadn’t even reacted. He simply laid back on it, too, and both boys wallowed in their bitterness wordlessly.
“Come on, morons,” Sakura snorted. “I’ll show you how to do it.”
It was about chakra control, of course.
The boys very nearly pinched themselves for not realizing it sooner – Sakura had told them to wait a minute before they charged the course, but they waved her off. They hadn’t stopped to listen because she hadn’t taken the lead up to that point, only Shikamaru did. After they scrubbed off the mud in a nearby stream, Sakura set about explaining the principles of tree walking, and, miraculously enough, she wasn’t even condescending about it, though they probably deserved a small measure of scorn for ignoring her.
“Circulating appropriate amounts of chakra along and around the pathways and meridians located at the soles of the feet, allows the chakra to be used as a cohesive agent,” Sakura lectured as she kicked Neji’s feet further apart and forced Shikamaru to bend his knees slightly.
Shikamaru abruptly realized it was entirely possible that outsiders - and isn’t it funny how there were outsiders, all of a sudden? - would think she was being snotty. Sakura used technical terms, dry and clinical, and didn’t bother simplifying the explanation. It was the same way Sakura answered questions in class at the Academy. Always textbook perfect. Then again, her teammates didn’t need her to dumb down, they caught on.
“I can tree walk,” Neji pointed out dryly.
“But can you walk on water?” Sakura demanded and when he didn’t answer, she puffed up, like a satisfied kitten. “The idea is the same, but the execution depends on several factors. One is the surface you’re trying to walk across. Two, the conditions of your surroundings. Three, the amount of chakra you have. Four, control.”
“So…” Shikamaru frowned. “Circulate chakra, adapt to the surface, pay attention to our surroundings, and don’t lose focus?”
“Yep.”
“On it.”
Neji got it in two tries. Shikamaru succeeded on the third. Sakura nagged them to complete the obstacle twice more each on principle. What the principle was she refused to say, but for practice’s sake, both boys complied.
As they expanded their attempts to other obstacles and training exercises, the three found themselves actively learning from each other and furthering their teamwork. The more they practiced, the smoother the process. Taking a moment to observe and discuss before charging ahead became natural, tossing ideas back and forth as they struggled seemed the obvious option, to celebrate success together felt natural. It was about being together and doing well together. Doing everything alone was redundant; somewhere between Neji throwing Shikamaru up to grab a sealing scroll and Sakura reaching into the smelliest filth they’ve ever encountered to undo a genjutsu for the boys, they’ve completely lost interest in solo achievements.
Shikamaru had to wonder, if only briefly, whether or not he would’ve progressed similarly had he been put on a team with Ino and Choji, under Sarutobi Asuma. He thought about Choji’s easygoing personality but permanent hesitance. He considered Ino’s bossiness and stuck-up character, hiding a particularly soft core. He knew nothing about Asuma at all.
‘Nah,’ Shikamaru decided, ‘best stay as we are.’
Chapter 4: 4
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto.
Chapter Text
The Brood
4.
The passage of time was entirely subjective, Sakura decided. Or, rather, its influence on relationships was entirely subjective and couldn’t be measured by outsiders.
It was Team 4’s last night in Training Field 16. They’ve officially made it through two weeks of Genma-sensei’s impromptu survival training. Sakura and Shikamaru had dismantled all genjutsu-based traps scattered around the areas they could access, she and Neji beat down each of the physical obstacles they found, and the two boys jointly destroyed every last bit of fuinjutsu that stood in their path – with Shikamaru figuring them out and Neji wrecking them with an improvised bastardisation on the gentle fist that may or may not cause the Hyuuga elders to bust a lung screaming. Only three traps and two obstacles remained unconquered, and Sakura firmly believed that if they had another week, Team 4 could tackle those, too.
But either way, time.
She’d known Shikamaru since they were five, three years before their entrance to the Academy. Ino had introduced them, and Sakura remembered hanging out around him a lot, but never with him. Still, she thought she had some sort of familiarity with him, after existing in the same spaces daily for so many years.
Neji was a stranger when their team was formed. Sakura vaguely remembered he was Rookie of the Year in the graduating class that came before her own, and she knew he was related to Hinata in some way, but that was it. Upon first meeting, she immediately decided he was a jackass and not worth her time. A poor replacement for Sasuke-kun. The next month only enforced Neji’s terrible first impression to the point Sakura was confident he’d always, regardless of the situation, be at the very least a jerk in her eyes. At worst, he’d be the blight of her early shinobi career.
After these two weeks, Sakura did a full 180-degree re-evaluation of her opinions on both boys.
Shikamaru was lazy, yes, but he cared about proper work a lot more than the average person. When he chose to apply himself he did so meticulously, taking no chances and leaving no loose ends. He was smarter than everyone in his life and that was the root of his apathy, it all stemmed from boredom. Shikamaru never judged unless you asked him to because he could see right through most persons; as a result, he accepted people as they were, and adapted accordingly to what they could handle from him. When he realised Sakura and Neji could keep up with him at 100%, he gave it willingly, generously, without holding back. It made Sakura want to give everything in return, to never let him down.
Neji was a colossal jerk, but he was capable of immense kindness. He was loyal, too, once you’ve earned it. Though it always came hand in hand with sardonic, tactless remarks, his patience, when he chose to apply it, was virtually endless. Like Sakura, he had a short fuse and an absolute intolerance toward idiots. Of course, Neji immediately assumed everyone around him was an idiot until proven otherwise. Once he picked up on the fact his teammates weren’t, in fact, any dumber than himself, he slowly loosened up. Extended courtesy over rudeness. Was quite willing to work together, to listen to their words, to compromise.
It had only been two weeks, but Sakura felt like she’d known them all her life. Because she knew what both of them looked like when they woke up, and how they were comfortable falling asleep. Neji snored, Shikamaru hogged blankets, and both kicked when they slept. She learned to read their expressions, small movements, and minuscule sounds to correctly gauge their mood. Shikamaru hated spiders, and Neji couldn’t stand rotten smells. If Shikamaru didn’t have something in his mouth within an hour of waking, he spent the day in a grump. If Neji didn’t drink a solid 4 litres of water a day, he would smack his mouth for hours like a dried-out shrew.
Both boys had seen Sakura entirely without makeup, something even her mother hadn’t been privy to in recent years, something she would’ve been mortified by before, but after two weeks without a proper shower, she just didn’t care. Sakura had drooled on Neji in her sleep more than once, and actually climbed Shikamaru like a tree – dressed only in her underwear – to escape a slimy fish that brushed against her leg when she tried to wash up. All it took was a twitch of her eyebrow in a certain direction for Neji to know she was either hungry, or ready to explode, and Shikamaru could predict what a dissatisfied Sakura would say before she even bothered to.
Sakura felt like she knew them, in and out. But the fact was she didn’t. She knew nothing about their lives, their hobbies, and their pasts. This lack of knowledge bothered her. If she didn’t know, she couldn’t prepare, couldn’t provide. Couldn’t excel and impress and shine. If she didn’t know, she wasn’t in control.
So, being herself, Sakura decided to do something about it.
“My parents are divorced,” Sakura announced.
They were sitting around a small campfire, preparing what was left of their carefully gathered rations for an impromptu farewell feast. Shikamaru lay on the ground, his eyes closed and arms supporting his head. Neji sat in a meditative pose, as relaxed as he could get. Sakura cuddled up by the fire, warming her hands and determinedly ignored how her words caused the boys to shift. They were eyeing her up now – Neji confused, Shikamaru resigned.
“They separated when I was five.” Sakura continued, “right around the time I met Ino. Father had a mistress and mom took offence, I guess.”
“You guess?” Shikamaru snorted.
“Well,” Sakura scratched at her head and smiled ruefully. “They never liked each other to begin with, it was a match made by their parents. Mom was more offended that he hid it, that he didn’t divorce her beforehand. She didn’t like being labelled as the woman that got cheated on.”
“You live with your mother, then,” Neji concluded. “You speak of her fondly, not so of your father.”
“Yep.” Sakura nodded. “Mom got the house and he packed up his mistress and relocated to Tea Country. I think they got married because I know they have a kid. Father doesn’t really keep in touch, and I don’t want him to, either. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to treat him after he spent years lying to mom, and I don’t want to be anything but rude to that other woman, and he won’t like that. Adults are so weird, you know?” she rolled her eyes to emphasize how annoyed she was with her father’s obstinacy.
“He expected you to be nice?” Shikamaru asked, and his dry tone indicated exactly what he thought of that.
“Fat chance,” Neju grunted.
“He had her give me sweets the two times I’ve seen her,” Sakura said with a shrug. “Didn’t work, obviously. I wouldn’t take them, stranger danger.”
Shikamaru snorted and Neji’s eyes glinted with mirth.
“Anyway. Mom works in the Capital now, at her family’s shop. I’m mostly on my own, but that’s okay. I know she does it to take better care of me, and she comes back to Konoha in winter when the business slows down.”
“What does she do?” Neji asked, and Sakura was surprised by how genuinely curious he sounded.
“Mom’s a seamstress.” Sakura smiled fondly. “The best in her clan. She sews for the Daimyo’s daughter almost exclusively.”
“Almost?” Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at her.
“Well, she makes stuff for me.” Sakura winked and then deflated. “Not that I get to wear them often. I don’t go out much, now that Ino – well. Yeah.”
“Who is Ino?” Neji asked and Shikamaru shuddered, while Sakura pouted.
“I can’t explain Ino,” Sakura said, and her heart pinched a little, as it always did when she thought about her ex-best friend. “I don’t really know her now.”
“She didn’t change much,” Shikamaru drawled. “Still loud and obnoxious.”
Sakura snorted and Shikamaru wiggled his eyebrows at her, the way he always did when they jointly experienced dome sort of flashback to Ino’s rowdier outbursts. She really could be extremely loud and obnoxious. Sakura wondered if Ino even remembered how to be kind like she used to. Then she felt guilty because most days she hadn’t acted kindly herself, so she didn’t have the moral upper ground here.
“You both know her?” Neji hummed.
“Ah, she’s the Yamanaka heiress,” Shikamaru said. “We sort of grew up together, but we don’t have a lot in common, just Choji. He’s the Akimichi heir.”
When he didn’t say anymore Sakura kicked him in the side with the tip of her foot and narrowed her eyes threateningly. She had no problem being prissy near her teammates, and she knew exactly how to give Shikamaru the headache of a lifetime.
“Troublesome,” Shikamaru groaned, but Sakura was almost entirely convinced his tone was fond, not annoyed. “Our parents wanted us to continue with the Ino-Shika-Cho tradition, but that’s moot now, I guess. They’ll probably find some other kids from the clans to take it up, but they’ll have to rename it.”
Sakura snickered and Shikamaru smirked, too. Neji’s eyes flashed with amusement, the humour of Shikamaru’s words not lost on him.
“My mom nags all the time,” Shikamaru complained. “She thinks I need to apply myself more. Dad doesn’t really mind. He gets it.”
Shikamaru didn’t have to elaborate on that. Shikaku understood what it was like, to be so much smarter than everyone else to the point you lost all interest in others. Shikamaru, being smarter than even his father, had it worse. Adults tended not to take children seriously no matter what and were bewildered by geniuses being detached – perceiving it as a lack of effort. It only turned into this after years of boredom.
“I already know I’ll make jonin by eighteen, somehow.” Shikamaru yawned, “I always thought I’ll get saddled with a strategic advisor job and do that till I can retire. Now I’m not so sure.”
“Yeah.” Sakura smiled. “I always thought I’ll be on Sasuke-kun’s team and sweep him off his feet, y’know?”
Both boys snorted and Sakura let them. If they mocked her crush it was okay, they knew her well enough to have the right.
“Now I wanna stick by this team,” Sakura confided. “I… like it here. I like you guys.”
“Ditto,” Shikamaru murmured and nudged Sakura’s knee with his foot.
She swatted at him half-heartedly, hiding a blush.
Neji was watching their interaction and there was no hiding or mistaking the fondness in his eyes. Somehow, Neji liked it here as well. He liked them, too.
And still, Sakura was honestly surprised when Neji stretched his legs before him, leaned back on his arms, and began to talk, too. She didn’t expect it, at all. She thought it’ll take him a while longer before he would willingly share anything else with them, and Sakura made to stop him – but Shikamaru kicked at her knee again. He shushed her with a look and Sakura listened. She wouldn’t have before, but now she acknowledged that most of the time, Shikamaru knew better.
“I am from the Hyuuga branch family,” Neji said, his voice quiet. “But my father was Hiashi-sama’s younger twin. Identical twin.”
Sakura frowned at that. She didn’t understand what he meant, by being a member of the branch family if his father was the Clan Head’s twin brother. Shikamaru’s stiff posture though, even while laying down, told Sakura he did understand. She somberly decided that if by the end of what Neji was willing to share she still didn’t get it, then Sakura would pull the answers from Shikamaru. The way he briefly glanced at her guaranteed he already figured out she would.
“When I was four, the clan heiress celebrated her third birthday and as customary every member from the branch house who’d yet to be sealed was.” Neji raised one hand, tugged down his hitai-ate and swiftly undid the bandages on his forehead. In the middle of his brow seal, etched onto his skin in thin lines, looking almost gentle and harmless. It didn’t look complex, but most truly difficult things often appeared simple. “I was proud to wear this mark, then. I didn’t understand that this is a permanent shackle, a lock on my fate. It condemns me to be a tool in the hands of the main family, to live and die at their convenience.” He chuckled, but there was no humour in it. “I was happy, even. I thought the heiress was cute, that it was an honour to be in her service.”
Sakura did know enough to understand Neji was talking about Hinata when he mentioned the clan heiress. She was, in fact, cute – when one got over how oddly shy she was. But something about the bitterness in Neji’s expression and tone made it quite clear he no longer considered her such.
“Have you heard about the Hyuuga Affair?” Neji asked, his tone bland. He didn’t wait for a response before he continued, and Sakura got the sense he needed to let it out. That he’d been keeping this in for however long and this was the first time he’d ever spoken about his feelings. She was touched Neji chose them to listen. “A little after her third birthday, the heiress was kidnapped by a visiting head-ninja from Kumogakure. The Clan Head tracked them down, rescued his daughter and killed the culprit. In return, to avoid open war, Kumogakure demanded his corpse.”
“They wanted the Byakugan,” Sakura said flatly. That much was obvious. Why else would they kidnap an innocent toddler?
“I imagine they still do,” Neji huffed.
“And Hyuuga Hiashi is still alive,” Shikamaru said slowly.
“Yes,” Neji bit out. “Because the main family ordered my father to die in his stead.”
‘Identical twins,’ Sakura realised suddenly. ‘Kumogakure wouldn’t know the difference.’
“My father’s seal would destroy the Byakugan upon his death,” Neji drawled. “This gave Kumogakure what the asked for without compromising the clan’s kekkei genkai. Hiashi-sama saved himself at the cost of my father, his own younger brother. All for the sake of an heiress who can’t even hit a target straight.”
“Oh, Neji!” Sakura sniffed and before she could control herself she’d scooted over, wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders, shoved her face into the crook of his neck, and started crying. Because she was sad for him, because she knew – like she knew she was alive – that Neji wouldn’t cry, even though he wanted to.
Much to her surprise, Neji didn’t shove her away. He’d tensed, for a moment, but then relaxed into her hold, and even leaned his cheek against the crown of her head. Sakura heard Shikamaru sit up straight for the solemnity of the moment, and she had no doubt the two boys were conversing with their eyes alone.
“To hell with the main house,” Sakura muttered. “You’re on Team 4, now. You belong to us. If they try to take you, I’ll pulverise them! Shannaro!”
“If you’re half as dedicated to that as you are to stalking Sasuke, the Hyuuga best beware,” Shikamaru joked and Sakura abruptly rounded on him, willingly biting onto the obvious subject change. The atmosphere was too heavy, anyway.
As she stomped around camp, loudly singing Sasuke-kun’s praises and vowing that she will win him over – Sakura found herself doing this more for the benefit of the boys than out of any real emotion. She briefly held Neji’s gaze as she waxed poetic about dark, brooding eyes.
His soft light eyes said thank you.
Sakura winked – ‘you’re welcome’.
“Well then,” Genma eyed his three little genin thoughtfully, as they stood at the exit from Training Field 16, backs straight and eyes glinting. “Did you have fun, children?”
“Troublesome,” Shikamaru drawled.
“Hn.” Neji grunted.
“Mostly,” Sakura interpreted for both boys, and Genma nearly raised an eyebrow.
Evidently, his tactic had been effective. Very much so. He will recommend it to Kakashi, though in that one’s case it would probably end in a homicide. That wasn’t necessarily a disadvantage for the village, as far as Genma was concerned, but he had more pressing matters.
“Introduce yourselves again, would you?” he asked with a smirk and noted that the strange request didn’t surprise the trio of troublemakers.
“Hyuuga Neji,” Neji said blandly, idly tapping his foot.
“Nara Shikamaru,” Shikamaru mumbled, already half asleep, even while standing up.
“Haruno Sakura,” Sakura, from her spot in the middle, looped her arms through the boys’ and grinned brightly. “We are Team 4, and we’re determined to be the best!”
Genma smirked.
Now, it was finally looking good.
Chapter 5: 5
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto.
Chapter Text
The Brood
5.
D-Ranks were God’s gift to jonin sensei all over the world. Well, more like the Nidaime’s gift, since he’d been the one to implement the mission ranking system in Konoha, but Genma was digressing. He’d made his point.
As a genin himself he’d not been graced with a single D-Rank mission. No, Genma had received his hitai-ate along with a congratulatory pat on the back and was sent out to the battlefields of the Third War to either come back alive or be cannon fodder. Even at the tender age of nine, Genma was a bit more ‘on top of things’ than most of his peers so he did make it back alive, and he wasn’t even half as messed up as some of the others. Asuma started smoking when he was twelve as a direct result of witnessing a battalion of Iwa-nin descent on an injured kunoichi. Gai’s endless energy was a bid to make up for the gruesome deaths of his first team. Kakashi was in a separate league of crazy than the rest of them. They all made Genma’s habit of chewing on senbon seem almost adorably quirky.
But as it were, D-Ranks.
Genma watched that demented cat Tora smack Shikamaru straight in the eye and make another bid for freedom, scratching Neji on the nose and biting Sakura’s ear as it went, and tried very hard not to crack up. His three little cretins looked bewildered at having been beaten up by a cat. In less than a minute.
No need to let them know Tora was a summons, not a pet.
“Right,” Genma drawled, hiding his mirth deep within himself as three pairs of confused eyes blinked up at him. Neji had come more prepared, as he’d obviously had several run-ins with Tora before with his previous team, but he was no less startled than Sakura and Shikamaru. Aw, the precious children. “Remedial raining for all of you.”
“What the hell was that Genma-sensei?!” Sakura demanded.
“Your target,” Genma said slowly. “The Daimyo’s wife resides in Konoha most of the time and Tora-chan, her favourite cat, likes to run away. She pays us handsomely for retrieving the furry thing.”
“That was a cat?” Shikamaru rubbed at his assaulted eye gingerly. “Troublesome.”
“I hate this thing,” Neji grumbled.
“Anyway, the Lady wants Tora-chan back by lunch, so you’ve got approximately two and a half hours left.” Genma didn’t even twitch when the trio gaped at him – Shikamaru disbelieving, Neji irritated, Sakura openly offended. “Now get!”
They got.
As he watched his baby shinobi wrestle with the desperate Tora until finally Neji snapped and struck the cat down with his juken, Genma swore to get Hima-san an extra large bouquet tomorrow. The woman knew exactly what she was doing when she handed Team 4 their first post-training mission. It set the stage beautifully for the next step in Genma’s ‘get rid of the brats’ grand plan of operations: break them down to build them up.
Sakura hadn’t decided what she hated more – D-Rank missions or remedial training. Shikamaru and Neji made up their mind on the spot.
“Remedial training sucks,” Shikamaru groaned from his spot, face down on the ground.
“Aa.” Neji managed, leaning against a tree, and rubbing at his arms as if that’ll help with the bruising he had going on.
Sakura just sat on a stump, carefully plucking leaves out of her hair, and wondering if Genma-sensei aimed for her forehead on purpose. She’ll definitely have a bruise tomorrow, smack in the middle of it, too.
Genma-sensei had worked them to the bone. Apparently, their dodging and stamina ‘weren’t shit’ and the only way to fix it was turning them into live practice dummies for his senbon – blunted, of course. At least for now. Then he had them run laps, which wasn’t so bad for Sakura, as she only had to run. Shikamaru had to carry all their backpacks as he ran. Neji had to carry Genma-sensei. They sort of thought it’ll be over then, as Sakura could barely stand, Shikamaru was a little purple in the face and even Neji was sweating profusely. But no, not at all. Genma-sensei followed up with tree walking.
Now, don’t get Sakura wrong, she could do tree walking just fine. When she was 100% well rested, had a full tummy and wasn’t covered in bruises and filth. When Genma-sensei ordered them to start climbing, Sakura briefly considered throwing a fit to see if it’ll work. Shikamaru beat her to it – he collapsed to the ground and stayed there. Genma-sensei hadn’t even twitched, so Sakura and Neji started climbing, grumbling all the while.
They didn’t get a break. Not even for lunch, dammit! And it was almost sunset right now!
As if reminded of that fact, Sakura’s stomach growled.
“You lot hungry?” she asked her defeated-looking teammates dully. “I can make Sukiyaki.”
Neji abruptly perked up and stopped rubbing at his arms. Shikamaru rolled over and looked at her calculatingly.
Sakura did her best not to snort.
It’d been three days since Genma-sensei picked them up at Training Field 16 and she totally saw the way her teammates eyed her bento box each day, almost greedily. She hadn’t even cooked real food for them before, just whatever they could manage during the survival exercise. How could they openly want to eat something without knowing if it was good?
‘Che,’ she thought, a little arrogantly. ‘If I make it, it’s good.’
“Come on,” Sakura rolled her eyes. “I live closer to the training grounds than you, anyway.”
“Sukiyaki,” Shikamaru groaned, like a dying man.
Neji’s eyebrow ticked, but he still walked over, hoisted Shikamaru onto his back and followed in Sakura’s footsteps without a word.
Unintentionally, this had become a part of Team 4’s routine.
Every morning, at six am sharp, they met up on Training Ground 4 with Genma-sensei, for team training. Genma-sensei took this time to work on their strengths, like Sakura’s chakra control, Shikamaru’s tactical abilities, and Neji’s taijutsu. At half past nine, they’d march towards the Hokage Tower to get their daily D-Rank and grab breakfast from one of the many available street vendors. Then, they’d get to work.
Some D-Ranks were a matter of a few hours. In these cases Team 4 would complete the mission as quickly as they could without compromising quality, as per Genma-sensei’s orders, and then drag themselves back to the training grounds for remedial training. Other missions took longer. After their first two weeks, for their sixteenth D-Rank mission overall, Team 4 was saddled with helping the reconstruction of Konoha’s Western Bath House. They needed to help demolitions, help with preparing the land for building the new premises and then, after the initial construction was completed, to help with painting and all that jazz. It was a long mission, and on the days they weren’t needed they picked up other D-Ranks simultaneously, like babysitting or capturing that menace Tora-chan again.
After all this, without fail, each evening the three genin dragged their feet towards Sakura’s apartment and had a homecooked dinner together. Sakura lived in a two-bedroom flat, in the better part of civilian Konoha. The apartment had large windows, carpeted floors and pretty, though visibly worn, furniture. Though her mother was, as Sakura had warned them, away in the Capital, the woman’s presence could still be felt around the house. Fresh groceries were delivered to Sakura’s doorstep once a week, along with flowers twice a week and unique treats from the capital at least once every three weeks. The walls were decorated with many pictures of Sakura at varying ages: a chubby, cherub-like baby with nearly transparent pink fuzz for hair. A beaming toddler, missing her front teeth. A pouting child, wrapped in a constricting kimono at the gates of Konoha’s temple, alongside a pretty woman with long dirty blonde hair and the same green eyes as Sakura’s.
There were two pictures of Team 4 in the living room, too. In an easily visible spot. One was taken the day they were announced as a team. Genma-sensei was staring at the camera blankly, the customary senbon hanging from his lips. Neji, hands folded and scowl in place, stoically looked ahead. Shikamaru stood between Neji and Sakura and was rolling his eyes. Sakura smiled at the camera, but her eyes were red-rimmed. She’d stopped throwing a fit about not being on the same team as Sasuke only for this picture. Next to this terrible commemoration of their graduation day, hung their second team photo- taken once they made it out of survival training. Genma-sensei had his hands folded behind his neck, one eye closed in a wink and smirked playfully, senbon still in place. Sakura was in the middle this time, both of her arms thrown over the boys’ necks enthusiastically, and she was smiling brightly. Shikamaru was caught in the middle of a yawn, one eye open and twinkling in amusement. Neji had one hand on top of Sakura’s head, ruffling her hair, and sported a tiny smile.
“I’m gonna hang all our team photos there,” Sakura had told them proudly, the first time the boys came over. “That way, I can see the progress.”
Shikamaru had muttered a ‘troublesome’ at her, but that night he hung his own copies of the very same pictures up on his house’s veranda, where he spent most of his time. Neji said nothing, but also placed his photographs on display on the windowsill of his bedroom. Their progress was a worthy thing to keep track of, after all.
“Soy sauce,” Sakura ordered absent-mindedly, as she eyed a sizzling pan carefully.
Neji wordlessly moved towards the cabinets behind her a brought over what she needed. Shikamaru gave a particularly loud snore, from his spot sprawled over the couch in Sakura’s living room. Neji threw him an annoyed look, grabbed an unpeeled garlic clove, and shot it straight at Shikamaru’s head. Shikamaru caught the offensive projectile and tossed it back at Neji, not even bothering to open his eyes before resuming sleeping. Sakura snatched the garlic out of the air and moved over to chop it up.
“Lazy bastard,” Neji deadpanned.
“Stir the sauce,” Sakura said, not paying attention.
Neji had asked her to teach him how to make proper tonkatsu, and this was Sakura’s attempt at teaching by example. Tomorrow, it’ll be Neji’s turn to recreate the dish, hopefully without burning down her apartment. Her mother wouldn’t be pleased.
“So this is what you’ve been up to.”
Sakura dropped the knife and Neji almost pushed the saucepan over. Shikamaru abruptly sat up.
Genma-sensei lounged on Sakura’s free armchair, picking at his nails with a senbon and eyeing his students curiously.
“How rude,” he commented, sounding more bored than anything else. “You three hang out secretly every day and have healthy homecooked meals.”
“Er.” Sakura blinked.
“And not one of you thought to invite your poor, lonely sensei.”
Neji tilted his head.
“Who lives in the standard jonin housing, all alone, cold, so miserable.”
“Troublesome,” Shikamaru muttered.
“Do you want to stay for dinner, Genma-sensei?” Sakura offered, feeling properly chastised and embarrassed, and just a tad guilty.
“Why yes, Sakura-chan, I’d love to.”
From that day, Genma-sensei joined them twice a week for dinner and got a bento box from Sakura every day he couldn’t join. If her cooking was enough to wake Shikamaru up, it was nothing compared to what Genma-sensei was willing to do for it. The days Sakura brought him a carefully organized lunch box, Genma-sensei was particularly nice and was more likely to let them off easy. The days Sakura included his favourite ingredients or dessert, Genma-sensei helped them with their D-Ranks.
Once, Sakura had gone over the top and brought a massive team bento, with various types of sushi, fried chicken, and portable bowls of miso soup. Genma-sensei had stormed the Hokage’s office and declared his team ready to graduate to C-Ranks with something suspiciously like tears in his eyes.
Neji and Shikamaru wordlessly bought Sakura an extra-large bowl on anmitsu that day and congratulated her on saving them from the misery of D-Ranks.
Sakura blinked innocently and thanked them.
No need to let them know she’d planned for this, hmm?
Genma eyed up his team as they successfully completed their fifth C-Rank within Konoha territory. He hadn’t even needed to step in today. His genin had the escort assignment under control to the point Genma was sure they would’ve handled it just fine even if they were attacked. Not that anyone was stupid enough to attack a genin team so close to Konoha walls.
In his head, he marked another successful, perfectly executed mission on Team 4’s roster. It’d been three months since his little gamble with Training Field 16. Team 4 had taken 25 D-Ranks and 5 C-Ranks up to this point, all completed without a hitch or mishap. They had the highest reliability grade out of all other fresh genin teams in Konoha, even Kurenai’s little unit. Their teamwork was fantastic, more than Genma could’ve ever hoped for. Only time could improve it further.
Now, it was time to focus on their skills.
Genma acutely felt the weight of the scroll in his left pocket. Sandaime-sama had only approved his training plan earlier this morning because of Team 4’s outstanding performance and behavioural record. No client had complained about them. None of the ninjas around had been bothered by them. The civilians didn’t even know they existed – which was exactly as it should’ve been. Genma was sorely tempted to rub that fact in Kakashi’s face, as Team 7 was quickly becoming the stuff of nightmares for the average civilian. Asuma, too, wasn’t having any better luck. Kurenai was, but Genma wasn’t ever competing against her. She had this whole teaching shtick in the bag years ago.
It was time for phase two in his extensively drawn-out training plan for his three headaches. Alright, that was bullshit. Up to this point, Genma made it up as he went, and it seemed to work. But phase two really was planned out. After all, he was going to take Team 4 out of Konoha walls and Konoha territory for the very first time, and he will be keeping them out there for as long as he possibly could.
It was time to see how they’d shape up outside their comfort zone and spheres of influence.
“Alright team,” Genma clapped as the three genin obediently waited for his feedback on their performance. “Get your butts home, have a good rest and pack your bags. Tomorrow we’re heading out.”
“For how long, sensei?” Sakura asked curiously.
“Until I say otherwise.” Genma wagged his eyebrows and to his great satisfaction, all three of his students blanched. “That’s right, be prepared. You’re about to be had.”
He tried very hard not to cackle at their horrified expressions. He very nearly failed.
Chapter 6: 6
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto.
Chapter Text
The Brood
6.
Seven months. That’s how long Team 4 spent outside Konoha, give or take a week, tops.
Seven months of back-to-back missions, mixed with Genma-sensei’s patented training from hell. How he patented it with this being his very first genin team they didn’t know, but he had to have. There was no other explanation for the absolute expertise Genma-sensei displayed in mashing together training and torture. Well, it wasn’t really torture, but it sure as heck seemed like it, sometimes.
The first thing Genma-sensei did was combat their most obvious weaknesses.
Now, you must think to yourselves: well, of course, he did. As an experienced jonin who did time in both ANBU and standard rotation, Genma must have learned to identify and root out bad habits quickly to maximize efficiency on missions. You’d be wrong.
Genma-sensei didn’t target any deficiency in Team 4’s skills. He aimed for their personalities.
To combat lack of productivity, Shikamaru was forbidden from taking naps or cloud gazing outside leisure time. Whenever he did, Genma-sensei mercilessly dozed him with freezing cold suiton techniques and then used him for Sakura’s and Neji’s target practice. The Hyuuga’s aim was impeccable, and Sakura proved a fast study, so after the first two painful sessions, Shikamaru could often be seen chugging caffeine and eyeing up his surroundings with a suspicious glint in his eyes, flinching at all sounds – real or imaginary.
Neji wasn’t allowed to work alone or brood, as both dulled his awareness of the world around him and negatively impacted the team as a whole. If Neji were a dick, Sakura would become a harpy and Shikamaru would try to abscond from the scene - Genma-sensei did not approve of either coping mechanism. If Neji dared resume his poor habits, he was subjected to accompanying Sakura to the nearest market or serving as Shikamaru’s training dummy for his family’s jutsu. Sakura, not at all willing to put up with Neji during her own free time activities, promised Neji hell on earth should he ever infringe on them, and Shikamaru was vindictive. Neji wisely decided to take them at their word and not try his luck.
Sakura’s problem was her addiction to beautiful things and the immediate decline they caused in her intelligence. Whenever Sakura showed the slightest inclination of thinking about Uchiha Sasuke or avoiding getting dirty, Genma-sensei flung whatever he was holding at her head. The variety of projectiles ranged from ninja weapons and fresh produce to Shikamaru, himself, on one memorable occasion. It served the double purpose of improving her dodging and getting Sakura acclimated to always being on guard, while successfully banishing all fantasies of black-haired broody preteens, for fear of permanent damage to her face. Apparently, Sakura’s vanity eclipsed any affections she might hold for anyone, and Genma-sensei was entirely willing to capitalize on it.
Shikamaru’s record of most time spent awake reached an astounding twenty hours by the end of their first month outside Konoha’s walls. By the third month, Neji had mostly forgotten what it meant to work alone, without Shikamaru coming up with the plan and Sakura having his back. By their fifth month, Sakura couldn’t even really remember what Uchiha Sasuke looked like, and she had zero interest in recollection – Genma-sensei had successfully beaten the obsessive crush out of her, leaving behind a normal level of infatuation.
After their first month out, Genma-sensei said they’d graduated to advanced training and, according to their performance, may start taking up the occasional B-Rank mission. They hadn’t taken a single D-Rank once the village gates closed behind them, and the prospect of upping the difficulty level of what was turning into dull, easy assignments, gave the genin all the motivation they needed. The training itself, though, wasn’t easy.
“Sakura-chan, did you know you’re a genjutsu-type?” Genma-sensei asked as Team 4 gathered in a clearing somewhere in the peaceful land of Tea.
“Yes,” Sakura said immediately. “Iruka-sensei told me. It’s why you’ve been teaching me all those genjutsu before, right?”
“Exactly.” Genma-sensei rubbed his hands together in what could only be anticipation, causing dread to crawl up the boys’ spines. “You took to it like water, and it improved your chakra control even further. You reached a point where you can practice what you know on your own, and advance at your leisure so we won’t be wasting any more of our time with it. Now, you need to work on physically defending yourself.”
“Taijutsu?” Sakura asked worriedly. “I – I’m not good at that.”
“And I’m not gonna teach you,” Genma-sensei said flatly. “This is a permanent team, and we already have a close-range fighter.”
Neji tilted his head curiously at that as Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. It was the first time Genma-sensei acknowledged the unspoken fact they were stuck together as long as they remained active shinobi.
“We need someone that can engage in long-range combat well.” Genma-sensei continued and tossed Sakura a sealing scroll. “You’re going to learn archery, Sakura-chan. Archery and kenjutsu.”
Sakura’s eyes widened and then lit up when she pulled a standard bow and tanto out of the scroll. The way she eyed up the sharp arrows and blade made discomfort brew in the boys’ stomachs and Neji stealthily took a step back.
“Now, Neji, you need to practice the more advanced techniques the Byakugan has to offer. And you, Shikamaru, need to increase the range of your shadow control.”
“I don’t follow,” Neji said coldly.
“You will soon,” Genma-sensei promised and behind him, Sakura armed the bow with unsure movements. “Get the boys, Sakura-chan.”
“Sir, yes sir!”
“Scatter!” Shikamaru yelled.
Neji didn’t need to be told twice.
It wasn’t a traditional training method, sure, but it worked.
Sakura’s aim with immobile targets was textbook perfect, but with moving targets, it really wasn’t. Luckily for her, she was a fast learner. So were Neji and Shikamaru. Not being pierced by sharp arrows was a very good incentive to increase their reaction speed. The better Sakura’s aim got, the more desperate they became to keep avoiding her at all costs.
Progress for Shikamaru was gradual. He immediately figured out Genma-sensei intended for him to utilise shadows to stop Sakura’s projectiles of doom, and sort of had to give it to their jonin instructor - it was a good skill to have. His problem was speed. First, the arrows were fast. That problem was relatively easy to solve. Shikamaru got used to them easily enough, and he learned to calculate their path quickly too. Second, Shikamaru’s shadows were inherently slow. Now this problem was the serious one. There was no shortcut to it, no rhythm. It was all a matter of practice and mastery. Shikamaru would be the first to admit he was lazy, especially when it came to practising his clan’s techniques. He never wanted to be an exemplary shinobi and hadn’t been properly motivated to try at it. Now, though, he didn’t have a choice. On a daily basis, Shikamaru found himself drawing on the shadows around him – in sunny or dark places, regardless of time or weather – and learning to manipulate them faster. Each day, he got a little better at it. Day by day, his control improved, his chakra reserves stretched and grew a bit more, and the shadows around moved quicker. The progress was gradual, but it was there, and so steady Shikamaru could easily calculate his rate of improvement. Knowing the exact time he’ll be done with the exercise helped push him through it.
For Neji, progress happened in a single moment, out of sheer annoyance and desperation. As mentioned before, Sakura’s aim got better and she was a quick study, especially when the teaching method encouraged her not-so-hidden sadistic tendencies and the target was her loved but not at all coddled teammate. It also helped that Neji still got on her last nerve and Sakura genuinely enjoyed hunting him through whatever terrain they were on for missions. It got even worse for Neji when, approximately a month after Sakura started shooting arrows, Genma-sensei presented Shikamaru with a pack of senbon and told him to go for it. Sure, Shikamaru targeted Sakura just as often as he did Neji, but when he was aimed at, his two bastard teammates joined forces against him. It was on one such day when they were back in the forests of Fire Country after weeks spent along the border, that Neji finally snapped. His back was pressed against a large tree, his escape route blocked by two other equally large trees, with three arrows and five needles coming his way, all aiming at precarious places.
“Neji, you need to practice the more advanced techniques the Byakugan has to offer.”
Genma-sensei’s comment made his blood boil. It was easier said than done! It wasn’t like the damned Main House offered him, a mere Branch member, any deep knowledge about the clan’s dojutsu! All Neji knew were the juken moves he strived to master, pushing his chakra into another’s pathways to render them useless and –
‘Pushing my chakra.’ Neji realised and he would’ve smacked himself was he not about to become a pincushion. He could push chakra out of any spot on his body, Genma-sensei made sure of that while they were still back in Konoha. What if he could push enough of it out to defend against outside threats? Reflexively, Neji closed his eyes, spun on his heel, concentrated chakra in all of his meridians, and pushed.
“Wow.” Came Shikamaru’s usually bored tone, this time filled with surprise.
“That was awesome!” Sakura yelled enthusiastically, and Neji opened his eyes to see her wave her bow around in excitement.
“Finally.” Genma-sensei groused, and something about the spark in his eye told Neji he did very well, despite the jab. “Now lets up the difficulty a bit, hmm?”
Upping the difficulty meant having Sakura start on kenjutsu, training Shikamaru’s abysmal taijutsu up to standard and forcing Neji to get a grip on genjutsu because his near allergic reaction to it was a proper embarrassment for anyone aiming to be more than genin – and they were supposed to go into ANBU. Simultaneously, Sakura had to go through strength training because her noodle arms, Genma-sensei’s exact words, were frankly unacceptable. Neji was ordered to fix stop avoiding active tracking, no matter how butt-hurt he was over standard Hyuuga roles. Shikamaru was to figure out how to sense chakra and no, Genma-sensei didn’t care it gave him a headache – all three of them needed to do it, and he was the only one who couldn’t. As always when faced with their instructor’s demands, Team 4 shut up and barreled on, well aware that arguing with Genma-sensei would get them nowhere.
Sakura’s thirteenth birthday, around their third month out of Konoha, was celebrated like this, completely dedicated to training without a single thought spared to anything else. That evening, huddled around a campfire, when Genma-sensei whipped a cake out of nowhere, the whole team was equally bewildered by the unexpected act of kindness.
“Are we celebrating something?” Sakura asked wearily.
“Your birthday, Sakura-chan,” Genma-sensei said, thoroughly amused.
“Oh.” Sakura blinked and then positively glowed with the energy behind her smile. “Really? The cake’s for me?!”
“For us, but yes,” Genma-sensei said gently. “Happy Birthday, pinky.”
Sakura had clapped her hands excitedly and then promptly started crying, loudly and dramatically, the way she did when she was overly happy. By this point in time, after going through multiple tantrums and dramatic breakdowns, her team could tell whether her tears were genuine or not, and what they meant. Neji patted her on the shoulder and Shikamaru rolled his eyes while Genma-sensei waxed poetic about overly sensitive women. Sakura wailed that she loved them even though they were all dicks.
They ate the cake and rubbed the remains all over Genma-sensei’s face in a surprise attack, before quickly hauling ass from the crime scene. It was a testament to his good mood that Genma-sensei didn’t pummel them for it.
~
Shikamaru’s thirteenth birthday, a month after Sakura’s, fell on their worst mission to date, and their very first B-Rank.
It was, in his own words, troublesome.
“Shika, duck!” Sakura yelled and Shikamaru immediately hit the ground, just in time for an arrow to buzz past his head and into the eye socket of the bandit who’d aimed for his neck a second before. Not even a moment later, Sakura ran past, swinging her standard issue tanto and baring her teeth in anger. Shikamaru rolled over, took aim, and shot a senbon into another enemy’s ear, stopping the man from getting a swing at Neji’s back.
“Sensei, to the left,” Neji called and easily moved out of Sakura’s way, opening a path for her to decapitate another grimy bandit. He pulled Shikamaru to his feet and swung him through the air so that Shikamaru could effectively kick a hostile’s nose all the way back into the man’s brain.
“Got it,” Genma-sensei growled and ran off, taking on another squad of bandits that joined in the fray.
They were ambushed on a delivery mission. Their cargo was an aristocrat’s pregnant mistress and a chest of sensitive documents. The mistress was also an escaped convict from a neighbouring lordship, wanted for strangling a high-ranked general to death – and this status was the reason rot h emission’s higher rank. According to the woman the general attempted to rape her younger sibling so there was no crime committed. Not that it was any of their business, but Team 4 was inclined to agree. Anyway, her lover paid a handsome fee to have her safely delivered to one of his estates, along with his precious paperwork.
So here they were, engaged in their first truly hostile battle.
Taking their first lives.
In the heat of the moment, the act came with surprising ease and fluidity. Their training paid off, the reflex to attack working faster than their mind could process the information and cause them to falter because - well, because they were all thirteen and they’d put dozens of living people to death in less than forty-five minutes. In the aftermath of that skirmish, Genma-sensei had brought down thirty-seven men. Sakura had killed twelve, Shikamaru took out ten and Neji faced a staggering twenty corpses of his own making. They’d wrapped up the mission quickly and Genma-sensei, worried and a little bit hesitant, brought his silent team to a cushy onsen and rented then a private pool.
“I won’t congratulate you,” Genma-sensei told them seriously as they settled into the steaming water. “You’re true shinobi now. Know the price of what we do, and remember that even if it’s often not glamorous, it’s always for the sake of Konoha. Shinobi are not enforcers of peace, nor are they a policing unit. We are, at the core of it, Konoha’s weapon and the village wields us as such. When you reach a higher rank and advance onto real missions, not petty squabbles like this, you may face a situation where morals become void. As shinobi, you don’t get to see the world in black or white, yeah? We exist and move in the grey, the in-between. The sooner you accept this, the easier it’ll be. Still, try not to become blind to the value of human life because that’s how you end up as a rogue-nin and… well, I’d hate to have to hunt my own students down, but I’ll do it.”
Sakura wrapped her towel tighter around herself and trembled, even though the heat from the spring was almost too much. Wordlessly, Neji floated closer and took her free hand in his own. She promptly burst into quiet tears and pulled the usually stoic Hyuuga into a tight hug. Shikamaru moved to her other side and put his head between her shoulder blades, offering and seeking comfort. Neji leaned his own head over Sakura’s and sighed. Genma-sensei observed them for a moment and let them absorb the gravity of the situation in peace.
“Oh, and for what it’s worth, Happy Birthday, Shikamaru,” Genma-sensei said, a little bit teasingly. “We have the weekend off at this onsen as your present.”
Their moods significantly improved, after that.
When Neji turned fourteen, Team 4 was finally on its way back to Konoha. They had approximately two weeks of travel left, no ongoing missions and Genma-sensei had recently let up in their demanding training schedules.
They’d intentionally stopped at a small village that afternoon, rented two rooms at the local inn and got comfortable. Make no mistake, Genma-sensei had a room for himself while Sakura bunked down with the boys. At first, they’d separated by gender but that didn’t work out. First of all, Sakura snuck into the boys’ room in the middle of the night, shaking like a leaf and demanding to stay with them as she was too scared to sleep alone in a foreign place. A relatively normal reaction from a twelve-year-old. Hence, for a while, they all settled down in one room but not for long. Second, Genma-sensei snored worse than a hibernating bear, to the point even Shikamaru couldn’t sleep through the noise, which by week ten made him very irritable. Third, Neji, apparently, kicked very hard in his sleep and for some reason aimed solely at Genma-sensei. Fourth, Genma-sensei liked to have, err, a good time. When he stumbled back from his nightly entertainment and woke them up for the first time it was, unsurprisingly, Sakura who’d realised what was going on and the thought of their teacher sneaking out of their room to get some was so thoroughly gross for Neji, he’d verbally demanded Genma-sensei get his own accommodation - on the other side of the inn. Genma-sensei himself wasn’t comfortable with the horrified look Sakura gave him and accepted Neji’s orders.
Thus, their sleeping arrangement changed.
Either way, Neji’s birthday was celebrated cheerfully at a small homey establishment, eating simple country food and goofing around for the sake of it. For the first time in his life, there was no stuffy, overbearing atmosphere. The clan elders weren’t around to narrow their eyes and mutter to each other about how dangerous his talent was, or how undeserving Neji was of such talent, to begin with. No clan head was present either, to glare at him suspiciously and activate his seal when he perceived Neji to be a threat. Just Team 4, smiling, joking and being their familiar, welcome selves.
At some point, Genma-sensei disappeared with a busty young woman, and Sakura spent a good twenty minutes laughing at Shikamaru’s horrified expression when he finally caught on to the strange sounds they occasionally heard from their sensei’s rooms at varying inns. Neji wondered aloud how she could pretend to be so girly all the time when Sakura in reality was a perverted brute. Sakura responded by very maturely sticking her tongue out and blowing a raspberry in his face. Feeling particularly childish and light-spirited, Neji lunged at her from his side of the table and grabbed her in a headlock. As the two of them smacked each other, half-seriously and half-jokingly, Shikamaru gradually recovered from his shock and joined the fray, shooting pieces of food at their heads. A few minutes into this, the three were unceremoniously kicked out of the tavern by the unamused owner, not that they minded.
It was the best birthday of Neji’s life, that he could recall.
As it was, Team 4 finally made it back to Konoha, after seven months outside its safe walls. It was the beginning of autumn, so the trees around the village were changing their colours from greens to different shades of brown, orange and auburn. The sun was significantly less hot, too, and there was a pleasant breeze going on, almost as if Konoha was welcoming them home.
“Last to the gates has to polish the weapons!” Sakura shrieked excitedly and took off.
Shikamaru grumbled and Neji grunted but they hurried after her. They had no chance of winning – over the duration of their training Sakura had picked up speed to the point she was hands down the quickest on the team. The fact she could liberally cheat by sending chakra to her muscles securely and effectively also worked against them. They were mostly competing against each other, for kicks. There was no way Sakura would let either of them touch her stuff, she was much too controlling for that. In the end, she’ll polish everything herself, as she always did, the same way Neji was particular about fixing up targets and training dummies, Shikamaru had a thing about handling their rations himself, and Genma-sensei flat out refused to let anyone else touch their money.
“Oi!” Genma-sensei yelled, “you brats! We have to register at the gates!”
“We know – mama!” Sakura screeched suddenly and promptly stopped running just a step away from her target, instead standing on the spot and gaping. “You’re back?”
“Oh, honey!” a blonde woman Team 4 had seen only in pictures hurried forward and drew Sakura into a tight hug. Sakura’s mother looked nothing like Sakura herself – aside from her green eyes. She was a pretty woman, looking almost frail, unlike Sakura – who was pretty, yes, but in a lively, energetic sort of way. “I was so worried! Are you okay? Did you behave well?”
“Mama,” Sakura managed to say, a little grouchily, as the woman smoothed her hair back and kissed her cheeks repeatedly. “I’m fine, mama. Honest. And I behaved, just ask Genma-sensei!”
“Oh, your team!” the woman straightened and then abruptly glomped the three unsuspecting males, who were gaping at the scene before them. They’d never seen Sakura just take being manhandled before. Or coddled. “Thank you so much for taking care of my Sakura!” the woman said tearfully, as she hugged each of them tightly in turn.
Genma-sensei looked suspiciously embarrassed.
“Sakura took care of us.” Neji corrected automatically.
“Yeah,” Shikamaru nodded seriously, “we’d be dead in a ditch without her.”
“Or starving in a ditch,” Genma-sensei added, a little dryly.
“Thank you either way!” the emotional woman said firmly and pulled Sakura back into her arms.
Neji smirked and gave Sakura a condescending look, to which she discreetly flipped him off. She looked like a disgruntled, ruffled kitten in the arms of her frantic mother – who repeatedly either petted her hair or kissed her face. It was quite obvious Sakura was a very loved child. Shikamaru muttered something about mothers being scary and Genma-sensei bonked him on the head for it, hissing for him to not be a rude little shit.
“I’ll handle our mission reports,” Genma-sensei told the team cheerfully. “I’ll have your paychecks delivered to you today and you have tomorrow off. Later.”
“Bye, sensei!”
“Aa.”
“Troublesome.”
Genma-sensei walked off immediately after, leaving the three genin and Sakura’s mother behind.
“Meet for yakiniku tonight?” Sakura suggested.
“Sure.” Shikamaru agreed easily.
“Might as well spend our hard-earned money,” Neji grumbled, giving Genma-sensei’s retreating back the stink eye. He was the most vocal about how irritating it was that Genma-sensei refused to hand out their pay until their return to the village.
“Meet at the Akimichi place?” Shikamaru offered.
“Deal.” Sakura agreed and allowed her mother to pull her away. “Civilian clothes! Don’t be dicks!”
“Sakura!” her mother gasped, “watch your mouth, young lady!”
Neji made a rude gesture at Sakura behind her mother’s back, taking the opportunity at a free pass since she evidently couldn’t get even. Sakura’s glare promised vengeful payback later, but it only caused Neji to leer fearlessly at her. Shikamaru rolled his eyes at their antics. Then the two boys exchanged a half-assed high five and made their way to their respective homes.
All three of them wondered idly how odd it was, to suddenly feel so alone.
Chapter 7: 7
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto.
Chapter Text
The Brood
7.
Yamanaka Ino wasn’t used to regretting things.
Or missing people.
Ever since Haruno Sakura cut ties with her over their mutual crush on Uchiha Sasuke, Ino’s been feeling both intermittently. Especially since she’d graduated from the Academy.
Well, they graduated.
Ino was placed on Team 10, under Sarutobi Asuma, as she always knew she would. Her teammates, though, weren’t Shikamaru and Choji, whom she expected and had been preparing to whip into shape. No, instead she got saddled with Hyuuga Hinata and some girl who’d failed her genin test the year before and had remedial training, Inuzuka Sadako. It wasn’t a very good match. At all. Ino couldn’t stand Sadako, who was as loud as Kiba and twice as rude, and Hinata was boring to the point of tears. Ino was perpetually annoyed and very lonely.
Choji was on Team 8, under Yuuhi Kurenai, along with Kiba and Shino. He was often busy nowadays, too much to hang out with Ino often. Team 8 were always on a mission, or training – together and separately – and when Choji wasn’t doing these, he helped out at one of the Akimichi Clan’s many restaurants. They’d only meet up around once a month nowadays, and it was grating on Ino’s nerves.
And Shikamaru… Shikamaru was a no show. Ino hadn’t seen the lazy boy she’d grown up around in months. Quite literally – he was nowhere to be found. She’d asked her dad about it when Shikamaru wasn’t present for their annual clan meeting. Inoichi shrugged, said something about ‘team training’ and scurried off. After that little tidbit, Ino promptly realised Shikamaru’s teammates – Sakura and that Hyuuga guy – were gone, too.
It pissed her off.
She felt… robbed, somehow. Ino had never been very close to Shikamaru, no, but for a few years, she and Sakura had been nearly inseparable. And now her ex-best friend and childhood buddy went off, gallivanting towards a metaphorical sunset together, and left Ino behind, in the dust. All by her lonesome. Obviously, she knew it wasn’t necessarily by choice. Team 4 was decided by the Hokage, just like every other team, and the genin themselves had no say in their placement on it. Still, Ino had imagined Sakura and Shikamaru would not get along. It made her chirpy in a vindictive sort of way, knowing that the girl who ditched Ino over a pretty face, and the boy who couldn’t be bothered to try to be honest friends with her, would suffer together while she, Ino, reigned supreme elsewhere.
Of course, it was entirely logical they hated each other. They never got on well, before, and there was exactly zero reason for the seemingly mutual disinterest to change - team dynamics aside. Ino still wanted to bash that damn Inuzuka’s face in, after all, despite the months they spent on the same team. As things stood, she had no way of knowing the opposite since the two, as she’d complained before, were gone.
And yes, Ino did consider Sasuke to be just a pretty face. She wasn’t an idiot, nor a civilian born. Ino knew exactly what the Uchiha clan were like before their tragic end. Arrogant, power-hungry, cold and domineering. Every Uchiha child she’d ever seen looked either as innocent as a puppy or as broken as a jonin fresh out of T&I. It surprised absolutely no one in the Yamanaka clan when Uchiha Itachi finally snapped and butchered the whole lot, not even eight-year-old Ino. Sure, she wasn’t supposed to know Itachi did it, but her dad told her everything and even if he hadn’t, she’d have found it in his mind by age twelve. Ino was the future clan head and there wasn’t a shred of doubt she’d also lead T&I one day, there was no point keeping secrets from her - not when she could and did sniff them out on the regular. Just because Ino didn’t like breaking a sweat didn’t mean she wasn’t absolutely vicious with her family’s jutsu, yeah?
Either way, Sasuke was pretty, yes. And a very good ninja. It made Ino swoon and want to plant one on him. But he was also a jerk with a superiority complex. Unlike most of his fangirls, Sakura included, Ino had no interest in his pasty ass for the long run. No, a passionate, dramatic, youthful romance was all she expected, before Ino cheerfully left him to his dark devices and moved on to greener pastures. Preferably, non-traumatized ones, thanks.
Sakura, though. Sakura genuinely loved Sasuke – just as blindly as all his other fans, as neither of them truly knew the boy. And when Sakura found out Ino had a crush on him, she immediately perceived it as a threat and broke off their friendship. Ino had been flattered at first, that Sakura was so threatened by her she immediately turned hostile, unwilling to keep their competition clinical and instead taking it very personally. Over time though all that remained was a bitter sort of hurt. Sakura let her insecurities take charge and allowed herself to put a stranger over Ino. To trust in Sasuke’s cute scowl over Ino’s genuine smiles. So Ino took to lashing out and antagonizing the other girl. If she couldn’t have her friendship she’ll settle for her grudge, because like hell would Ino let the damn pink Billboard Brow shove her to the side and just forget about it, heck no. That was their only form of communication nowadays. The only way Sakura bothered to notice her.
She’d begun to think about Sakura and their ruined friendship more often lately, especially given her dismal ties with her own teammates.
Ino missed Sakura.
Ino regretted letting the other girl slip away.
Neither feeling was mutual.
It was a bitter pill to swallow.
“I’m telling you; ninja wire won’t hold.”
Ino knew that voice. She’d recognize it anywhere, particularly when it took on this sort of impatient lilt, underlined by a near shrill quality as if to emphasize the owner’s irritation.
“It can be enhanced with chakra.” Replied a smooth, velvet-like voice. Already it carried a sort of tremor that indicated it’ll evolve into a deep baritone soon. The soothing kind.
“That’s the whole point! If you’re going to enhance it, just use chakra binding from the start!”
“Impractical.”
“Shika, tell him I’m right!”
That little nickname convinced Ino to look up from her food and take in the sources of the voices.
She’d have recognized that particular shade of pink hair anywhere, not that Ino had ever seen someone with pink hair other than Sakura. But Sakura wasn’t… Sakura. There wasn’t a single drop of makeup on her face, evident by the very visible strip of red over her cheeks and nose – sunburn, no doubt. Her pink hair was damp, some droplets of water dripping down her neck, and piled onto her head in a bun so messy it was clearly twisted up in a rush without bothering to brush through the hair first, a distinctly not-Sakura pattern of behaviour. Dressed in a frilly sort of dress of faded red colour and a pair of beaten boots, Sakura looked entirely like a civilian.
To Sakura’s left was a Hyuuga, his white eyes were a dead giveaway. The boy was nearly a head taller than her, broader at the shoulders and fair skinned. He had brown hair, slung over his shoulder in a long, thick braid, and a face pretty enough to make Sasuke’s seem average. His forehead was carefully bandaged, his clothes loose fitting and in neutral whites and cremes. He wouldn’t appear civilian no matter what, not with his eyes, but he was clearly not there as a shinobi either. His right arm was looped with Sakura’s left and he was eyeing her with a strange sort of fond exasperation.
To Sakura’s right stood Shikamaru, his hair in his signature ponytail though it seemed longer than Ino ever remembered it being. He was tanner than before, too, and he’d taken out one of his earrings completely, replaced the other one with a silver band, and was chewing on a senbon between his teeth. He was wrapped up in a simple yukata and was looking more awake than Ino had ever seen him.
“You’re both right,” Shikamaru said, as he led the other two to a vacant table – smack in Ino’s line of sight and hearing range. “Sakura’s plan would work if you had the control and reserves for it. Neji’s will do in a pinch.”
“But anyone with half a brain can escape ninja wire.” Sakura protested.
Ino almost let her eyebrow twitch at that. Not one person on her team could do squat against ninja wire.
“If they have a weapon it’s easier than taking candy from a baby!”
“Disarm them,” The Hyuuga boy – Neji, apparently – said dryly.
“Sharpened chakra –“
“Most people can’t do that.”
“Oh, my god! Literally, every chunin can do that!”
Shikamaru rolled his eyes as the other two carried on their argument but made no attempt to intervene. Mid-roll his eyes connected with Ino’s and the two blinked at each other. After a moment Shikamaru offered her a half-smile and nodded as a form of greeting before he looked away and hauled over a server.
‘That’s it?’ Ino blinked. ‘That’s all I get?’
Evidently so.
Ino didn’t understand why, but she couldn’t look away from the trio. Their conversation was hard to pick out now that more people entered the yakiniku spot. Sakura’s voice became just another shrill pitch in the grand cacophony, Hyuuga Neji’s replies mixed into the background and were impossible to discern. Ino wasn’t as good at reading lips as she should’ve been, not yet, and honestly, their conversation wasn’t interesting enough to follow either way.
It’s their behaviour Ino couldn’t ignore.
She’d never, ever, seen Shikamaru so invested in a conversation before. Even as he spoke to the smiling Akimichi waiter he leaned towards his teammates, his elbows pressed firmly onto the table, head tilted in Sakura’s direction and mouth pulled into a half-smirk of pure amusement. After the waiter walked off with Shikamaru’s order he turned fully towards the other two, leaned his chin on one palm and observed their conversation. Occasionally, he even participated, all out of his own free will. No one had to pry the words out of his mouth.
Ino didn’t know Neji, hadn’t even known he existed until graduation day, but she was familiar enough with Hinata to expect the same sort of politeness from any relative of the shy girl, at the very least. Her expectations weren’t met. Neji’s posture was perfect and his table manners impeccable: he sat with his back straight, chewed and swallowed before speaking, and didn’t slurp. But that boy was not shy. Or timid. Or polite. Though he actively shoved meat into Sakura’s mouth with one hand, he openly flipped her off with the other. He chucked a peanut at Shikamaru’s head in retaliation to the other boy stealing something from his plate. He snapped at a gaping waiter when the teen blinked at the three too long. It was mind-boggling to see a Hyuuga behave like this.
Then there was Sakura.
Sakura, who Ino has grown used to seeing acting sweet and coy at all times to ensure Sasuke never thought her rude, wasn’t behaving anything like that. Sakura talked animatedly, gesturing with her hands, making faces and even jumping to her feet at one point. She ate whatever Neji gave her, obviously not watching her weight as she usually did. She touched both boys casually all the time: moved a lock of hair out of Neji’s face, patted Shikamaru’s hand in thanks, pinched Neji’s side, and kicked at Shikamaru’s shin. Ino couldn’t decide if Sakura was being nice or mean, but she was obviously very comfortable.
All of them were comfortable.
Ino thought that only Team 8 was so at ease with each other, on the grounds that all three were boys and had a female instructor. Evidently, she’d been wrong. Team 4 were almost in sync: they moved as if they shared one brain cell, or like a well-oiled machine, even while doing something as simple as eating out. Shikamaru placed the meat on the grill, Sakura seasoned and cooked it, and Neji plated it. Sakura handed Shikamaru the spicy pickles without him asking, while Shikamaru shoved the peanuts towards Neji and Neji put anything sweet closer to Sakura’s plate. Even before Sakura could drop the water pitcher Shikamaru had grabbed it, and Neji casually moved Shikamaru’s sleeve out of the way before it burned on the grill. Sakura wiped at the corner of Neji’s mouth with her thumb and offered Shikamaru water as soon as he reached for some.
It was as if Team 4 existed in a bubble of harmony and all things happy, the way they got along and carried on like some sort of fantasy team straight out of the Hokage’s wet dreams. It was nauseating.
Then Neji said something, and Sakura poured her cup of water over his head.
The switch had been so swift, Ino almost got whiplash. Suddenly the two were in each other’s face, literally nose to nose, squabbling like two angry chickens. Neji flicked Sakura in the middle of her forehead, Sakura rudely jabbed her chopsticks into Neji’s knee. Shikamaru watched the show, chewing on his food with a resigned expression. At least Ino thought it was resigned until she saw his lips move and realised he was egging them on.
“What the fuck.” She gasped, horrified.
“Did you say something, dear?” her dad asked and Ino hurriedly shook her head, careful to avert her gaze from the rapidly escalating confrontations just a few tables away from them.
As soon as it began it ended. Or, rather, what appeared to be two blurs of green stormed into the yakiniku restaurant and Neji promptly abandoned fort in favour of sliding beneath the table.
Ino had no trouble reading Sakura’s lips this time.
“What the fuck?” Sakura had said, looking every bit as bewildered as Ino felt. “Neji, get up from under there, it’s dirty.”
Neji must’ve refused, because he didn’t get out from under his chosen shelter and Sakura was gaping at Shikamaru, openly at a loss.
“If I cannot out eat you, my youthful student, I shall run five hundred laps around Konoha!” Yelled one of the green-clad… creatures.
Sakura suddenly clamped a hand over her mouth and very badly stifled a giggle.
“Gai-sensei! If I can’t beat you today, I’ll do eight hundred, nay, one thousand push-ups!” the other crowed dramatically.
“Lee!”
“Gai-sensei!”
Before Ino’s eyes, Shikamaru promptly laid his head on top of the table and began cracking up. He laughed so hard his whole body shook, and even the table trembled a little. Sakura was red in the face, in a way only a person holding back laughter could be. For a brief moment, Neji’s pale hand reached up from his sanctuary and searched blindly for a piece of meat. Sakura must’ve taken pity on him, because she handed him his half-filled plate and when it resurfaced, empty, Sakura filled it back up with a fond smile and returned it to the hiding boy. Shikamaru had finally calmed down and was now observing the green weirdos chow down with an enthusiasm that could put Choji to shame.
With a shake of her head, Ino finally refocused on her own meal and her still talking father. Quite suddenly, she didn’t feel so lonely anymore.
“So that was your old teacher?” Sakura asked, a little surprised, as Team 4 meandered out of the Akimichi clan’s staple yakiniku spot.
They had to wait until the two strange ninja left because Neji flat out refused to budge until they did. It was so out of character for him, to display that level of embarrassment, that Sakura would’ve been worried – really, she would’ve been – had the whole situation not been so funny. She was definitely going to tell Genma-sensei about it. He’ll have a field day with this sort of information.
“Might Gai,” Neji said tightly. “Konoha’s indisputable taijutsu master.”
“Not resident lunatic?” Sakura clarified.
“All jonin who survived the war are addled,” Neji stated flatly.
“Hmm.”
“I can’t believe they ate up all that food.” Shikamaru whistled, “I don’t think Choji could’ve kept up with them.”
“Gai-sensei is very driven.” Neji nodded his head. “And Lee emulates him.”
“Lee, huh?” Sakura raised an eyebrow. “It must be difficult for you, liking such a strange person.”
“Yes, Lee is a little – what the hell did you just say?!”
Sakura shrieked and ran for her life, an infuriated Neji hot on her heels, daring her at the top of his lungs to spew such nonsense again. She’d kind of hoped he’ll take longer to figure out what she was getting at, but no such luck.
“Troublesome,” Shikamaru murmured, thoroughly amused, and didn’t bother to try and catch up to them. They’ll be just fine.
They always were.
They were Team 4, after all.
Chapter 8: 8
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto.
Chapter Text
The Brood
8.
“He’s late!”
‘No shit,’ Neji thought and tried to concentrate on his meditation. The chakra dragged through his pathways slowly, leisurely, rotated around each meridian and carried on, in complete contrast with the nervous tick he was determinedly supressing.
“He’s late and it’s hot outside!”
‘Be strong,’ Neji insisted and promised himself he will not react. Not this time. He could rise above this; he could control the urge and be the mature adult. It wasn’t even directed at his person, this tirade had absolutely nothing to do with Neji -
“If I knew he’ll be late I’d have done a proper skin routine, shannaro!”
‘Screw it.’
“Ain’t nothing saving your mug, woman,” Neji snapped and buried his patience alongside his self respect, motivation and broken promises.
It was a futile endeavour to begin with if he was being honest. Sakura just drove him up a wall. She knew which buttons to push, and she rammed them with a figurative hammer whenever she possibly could, and sometimes without even meaning to. Lately Neji’s become quite good at telling when she was being an annoyance on purpose and when it was pure chance. Not that it mattered much since he always, without fail, put his foot in his mouth and – well. There was a reason Shikamaru chose to pretend he absolutely didn’t know them whenever the opportunity presented itself.
“What crawled up your butt and died?” Sakura demanded and not for the first time Neji wondered just what sort of idiot thought her to be cute.
There was nothing cute about Sakura. She wasn’t ugly, not by a long shot, and Neji had eyes in his head enough to admit – once out loud and to her face – that Sakura was probably the prettiest girl in the village, or at the very least leading the race. But she was not cute. Truth be told whenever Sakura opened her mouth with that sort of expression, whatever beauty she had became irrelevant – no amount of pretty could make up for her particular brand of crazy. At least, that was Neji’s humble opinion. Still, it appeared most people couldn’t see past her face. Even at just over thirteen, something about Sakura was decisively coy and flirtatious, in a disturbingly mature way. Neji and Shikamaru both found themselves glaring at clients several times by now, and once or twice Neji overheard Genma-sensei warning an insistent pervert away.
Usually, just mentioning Sakura’s age was enough. Sometimes, a more physical intervention was necessary.
Either way, Sakura wasn’t cute and the longer they spent together, the more Neji began to understand just what the Hokage had in store for her particular gift set. Especially when Sakura wanted a discount at any market and set about getting it nicely.
It pissed him off.
Which at that particular moment wasn’t good, as he was plenty irritated to begin with.
“Hyuuga business?” Shikamaru asked quietly and Neji physically cringed, coming out of his thoughts abruptly, his burning fuse put out.
‘How do they always know?’ he wondered and offered his teammates a grimace as an answer.
“I washed your socks for six months.” Sakura told him snootily and unceremoniously sat down barely an inch from his lap, shoving her nose against Neji’s own. “I know what you ate based on the smell of your sweat, y’know.”
“Disgusting.” Neji informed her, but the corners of his mouth twitched against his will.
“Oh?” Sakura batted her eyelashes in an exaggerated fashion, “Who’s disgusting? This beauty doesn’t know, please introduce them.”
Neji shoved her with his foot, rolling his eyes.
“You’re both troublesome.” Shikamaru yawned and propped his head up on one arm. “So, clan problems?”
“What’d they do?” Sakura demanded angrily. “Did they insult or bully you with that stupid seal again? Let me at them.”
Shikamaru’s eyes glimmered in some form of agreement.
And Neji briefly considered it, too. He keenly felt that eventually the main branch will grate on his nerves enough to release an angry Team 4 inside the clan compound, consequences be damned. As of now it would probably be settled with some minor property and political damages, and several of the more obnoxious asses sporting a broken bone or two, but Neji suspected that in a few years – once they stomped their way to jonin somehow – to unleash his team on anyone would be the equivalent of a death sentence. Whether it’ll be through blood loss via nosebleed or gruesome dismemberment, he couldn’t quite decide. The thought of the constantly smug Hyuuga elders falling prey to Sakura, with Shikamaru orchestrating it from the shadows, lifted Neji’s spirits just enough to get out of his funk.
“Some of my distant cousins believe that we’ve returned to Konoha to disband.” Neji groused. “They seem to be under the impression that I am… untrainable. Cursed, if you will.”
“I’ll disband their faces!” Sakura yelled, completely outraged, and dramatically threw herself onto the grass. She rolled about angrily, kicking her legs and making threats for a solid thirty seconds before promptly stopping and narrowing her eyes at Neji. “You’re not cursed. Get it out of your head.”
“Yeah.” Shikamaru agreed. “And Genma-sensei trains you just fine.”
“Hn.” Neji huffed. “At the very least, they seem to believe that the genin teams currently in rotation are not up to snuff.”
“They’re probably basing their opinion on Team 10.” Sakura drawled. “I heard from my neighbors that they’re almost as bad as Team 7 when it comes to reputation, or client satisfaction.”
“They’re all troublesome.” Shikamaru nodded. “Dad said that other than our team, only Team 8 is getting things done, but Choji told me they’re the only team that never even went on a mission outside Konoha yet.”
“For real?” Sakura frowned, “but that’s basic stuff, right?”
“Yep.” Neji popped the ‘p’ in the obnoxious manner Shikamaru used when he felt like being particularly condescending. “Either way, it’s a shitstorm.”
“Exactly.” Genma-sensei materialised out of nowhere, sitting directly behind Sakura’s head, senbon between his teeth and eyes gleaming just so. “And you, my little reprobates, are walking straight into it.”
“Genma-sensei!” Sakura chirped enthusiastically and high-fived their jonin instructor without bothering to sit up.
“You’re a reprobate.” Neji muttered under his breath and Genma-sensei’s senbon twitched. He heard.
“What do you mean, we’re walking straight into it?” Shikamaru demanded, sounding genuinely alarmed.
“Through the shitstorm and into the pits of hell!” Genma-sensei crowed, much too pleased with himself. “What do you know about the chunin exams?”
The chunin exams had an ugly bloody history, steeped in political intrigue and ruthless competition. The entire purpose of the fiasco was to show off. It was a pissing contest, all about the villages comparing the sizes of their metaphorical tools, a parade of shrill peacocks, spreading their tails wide and screeching at the top of their lungs: ‘look at me, look at me! Mine’s the biggest, mine’s the best!’
Konoha was, of course, no different.
Now that Team 4 knew exactly why they’ve returned, it was easy as pie to read the signs of the oncoming festivities at every corner. Renovations were everywhere: sidewalks, roads, shop fronts, gardens and houses of all sizes, types and shapes were undergoing restorations, redecorations and upgrades of every type. Exhausted new graduates ran around frantically, assisting at every corner. Even students from the academy where taking part in the village-wide frenzy, planting flowers, painting fences and pestering each other excitedly.
It was, in a word –
“Disgusting.” Genma hissed. “Look at this gaggle of sycophants. Hypocrites, the whole lot of them.”
Neji didn’t react one bit to this announcement.
Shikamaru picked at his ear and looked bored out of his mind, as per usual.
Only Sakura gave Genma hope for the younger generation, as she looked at him seriously, notebook in hand, and nodded.
“How so, sensei?” his pink-haired pride and joy asked, and Genma puffed up, determined to deliver his impassioned speech about the harsh, cruel truth of the shinobi world, version sixty-five. To instill fear and reverence into his little people, to make sure they would never take anything lightly again. Maybe scar them a bit, too, purely for his own amusement.
Before he could speak another word, though, circumstances changed radically. That is to say, Asuma walked into their line of sight, followed by his team. Genma abruptly backpedaled and decided to put forth another speech – about proper respect and hierarchy amongst ninja ranks, and why the fuck it was important. Better get it in their impressionable heads now, before either of his demons – particularly his pride and joy – decided to act up.
Unexpectedly, something else came out.
“Exhibit A,” Genma said dramatically, “of the type of competition you’ll be facing. Observe, analyse and report.”
“Sir, yes sir!” Sakura all but saluted him enthusiastically before wagging her eyebrows at Shikamaru. “You wanna mess with Ino?”
“Troublesome.” Shikamaru smiled lazily. “Thought you’d never ask.”
The pair linked their arms, Sakura grinning manically and Shikamaru looking as if he was in deep pain – though Genma knew to search for that spark of sadistic glee in the corner of his eye – before storming head on. Sakura was loud, cheerful and enthusiastic. Shikamaru dragged his feet, groaned and rolled his eyes. Their act was fitting, perfectly executed and very believable. It was the image of an overexcited teenaged girl on a shopping spree, dragging along a reluctant victim of curious relation. They could be a couple, could be siblings, could be anything at all – it depended on the mind of the observer.
Genma metaphorically patted himself on the back for this. He taught them so well.
“Neji,” he said quietly a few minutes later, as the two watched Sakura butting heads with Asuma’s blonde student, while Shikamaru looked at the sky with a forlorn expression, no doubt memorizing every little bit of the encounter. “What do you think your chances as a team are?”
“Well.” Neji tilted his head and considered the question.
Genma, too, took a moment to appreciate his student. Neji had come a long way in terms of both skill and ability, but most importantly, his teamwork improved more than Genma had ever expected. All of them did, and they’ll continue to do so - as Team 4 would never truly disband, just elegantly relocate. Genma had a running bet with the other jonin, particularly Anko, that his trio of baby-faced killers will be making equal rank by the time they hit seventeen. It went unsaid and undiscussed that the Hokage would have their butts in ANBU even sooner, since it was the worst guarded secret of the unit that Genma’s team has been formed for that purpose first and foremost. It was also without question that if his brats didn’t, in fact, make it to jonin by seventeen, Genma was going to murder them.
Either way, to make jonin by seventeen they needed to make chunin, pronto. Unlike the other jonin instructors, Genma didn’t sign up his team for the sake of gaining experience or to wizen them up. Team 4 was plenty wise, experienced enough and they had a very real, very good shot at being promoted. They were decidedly better than Genma himself had been when he was named chunin. He had no doubt they were as prepared as they could reasonably be, and even if the proctors shot it down, Team 4 would just get their field promotion quickly after the exam, either publicly or on the down low.
“I think… we’re good,” Neji said decisively. “We’re ready.”
Up ahead, Sakura socked the loud Inuzuka girl straight in the eye and knocked her back on her ass. Shikamaru immediately hauled Sakura to stand behind him and planted his foot against the offended girl’s stomach, to keep her from taking a swing at his raving teammate – and in Genma’s professional opinion the blonde one looked like she was about to hug Sakura to death out of sheer gratefulness rather than smack her, which was strange considering they’d been mutually bitching just a second before The assaulted Inuzuka was shrieking and her black dog barked up a storm, only encouraged by Sakura’s unfiltered potty mouth and Shikamaru’s sneer. Asuma, the supposedly responsible adult, wore the expression of one ready to call it quits and jump off the nearest cliff. The Hyuuga girl was a trembling, stuttering mess.
Chaos all around, exactly as his lil’ apes liked it.
“We’re definitely violent enough.” Neji added as an afterthought, blandly.
“Smartass.” Genma tutted and waved his hand. “Go break it up. Meet back at Sakura’s after you’ve measure up the other local teams.”
Neji grunted, and with a shout of ‘oi’ descended onto the fray. It was over in mere seconds after that, with Sakura thrown over Neji’s shoulder, Asuma’s team cowed into obedience – particularly the Hyuuga Heiress – and the jonin blinking in bewilderment at the sheer effectiveness of a barely-interested teenager compared to himself. Shikamaru patted him on the arm, a very demeaning act, and Team 4 hauled ass out of there before anybody else could gather enough wits to respond, with Sakura making a rude gesture in Team 10’s direction, a manic grin on her pretty face.
Genma really was so proud of them.
“Okay, so one team down, two to go,” Sakura said cheerfully, from her spot thrown over Neji’s shoulder. She was quite used to the position and didn’t mind one bit, instead taking advantage of the opportunity to observe Konoha’s streets, as people rushed past, desperate to decorate, clean up and beautify their businesses before the mass event of the chunin exams in six not-so-short months. “How are we doing this?”
“I’ll go find Choji,” Shikamaru said slowly, not once looking away from the clear Konoha skies.
“We’ll observe Team 7,” Neji decided and pinched Sakura’s shin in warning when she squirmed. “Observe, only! You read their chakra and patterns. I’ll analyse teamwork and abilities.”
“Aw,” Sakura pouted, “but I haven’t seen Sasuke-kun in ages!”
“And?” Neji demanded. “Do you miss a stranger?”
“He’s not – I don’t –“ Sakura huffed. “No. But he’s pretty to look at.”
“Look all you want while keeping your distance.”
“You’re no fun,” Sakura complained and flailed purposefully in a way that was sure to bruise Neji’s shoulder. “Shika, tell him he’s no fun!”
“I’ll buy you that thing you’ve been yapping about, if you don’t be troublesome,” Shikamaru coaxed instead.
“The new hair serum by Sagami-sama’s brand?!”
“Whatever.”
“Okay!” Sakura wiggled off Neji’s shoulder to walk between the two boys without further protest, her eyes gleaming determinedly, and all signs of misbehaviour gone. All thoughts of Uchiha Sasuke were abruptly shoved aside at the prospect of getting a gift. Bribery was one way to guarantee her cooperation in nearly all circumstances, and Shikamaru was always the first to take advantage of it, preferring to nip any potential catastrophe in the bud.
Neji rolled his eyes, admitting to himself that it was done fondly, and let Sakura latch onto his arm. She always did it when she walked in the middle – latched onto both their arms, pulled them closer and all but nuzzled into heir personal spaces. As if she sensed how thrown off they were by physical touch and strove to desensitize them completely.
Neither boy minded anymore.
Sakura was always clean when she did this, smelled nice and was properly soft – it wasn’t an unpleasant experience. Especially since she wouldn’t shriek from such close proximity.
Neji often wondered if this was what it felt like to have a younger sister, with Shikamaru earning the title of brother. The Nara heir hummed thoughtfully when Neji brought it up and then grumbled that it wasn’t fair, as it made Sakura not only older than him, but possibly his pseudo-twin. It also made Genma-sensei their sort of surrogate parent, as Sakura observed with a sort of morbidly awed tone. Genma-sensei had choked, stared at them in horror and then shakily said they weren’t allowed to repeat that in his presence. Ever.
Sakura made a point of calling him ‘daddy’ whenever he got on her nerves afterwards. One memorable time, after a particularly disgusting C-rank outside Konoha, she’d walked right up to Genma-sensei while he was hitting on a busty merchant and, in a sickeningly frail voice, asked ‘papa’ if this was to be her new ‘mama’.
It was amazing.
Either way –
“Meet back at my place in, say, two hours?” Sakura offered.
“Make it three,” Shikamaru grumbled.
Neji nodded in agreement and quite suddenly, it was on.
Chapter 9: 9
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Brood
9.
“I spy with my bright green eye –“
“You’re saying it wrong.”
“I don’t care. I spy with my bright green eye a disaster.”
“Team 7.”
“Ding, ding, ding, you got it in one!”
Neji waved his left index finger in the air in mock celebration and Sakura sagged against the trunk of the tree they were hiding in. Neji sat perched on a branch, his byakugan activated and glued to their unassuming opponents. Sakura sprawled on the branch above his, due to her lighter weight, and absolutely gave up on maintaining any sort of pretence that she was trying to do as they were told. The notebook she’d whipped out of one of her equipment scrolls was abandoned, only its first two pages containing any relevant notes. Sakura had already braided her hair six different ways and Neji’s thrice. They fought twice, argued seven times and smacked each other to the point of bruising. They badmouthed Neji’s clan, debated what to have for dinner and mentally wrote up an extensive complaint against a certain jonin just to give him a headache.
Suffice it to say, this assignment was a bust.
Team 7 did nothing. The assigned jonin sensei wasn’t even there, two hours into their observation. It was deep into the afternoon by now, the point by which their team would begin remedial training and strategic analysis of the missions they’d completed that day, when inside their village at least. Team 7 hadn’t even undergone normal morning exercises, judging by the intact training grounds and their pristine appearances. It didn’t even look like they completed basic team bonding, training and preparation at any point in time. It was a complete horror show, and that was agreed upon by both Neji and Sakura, who spent most of their joint time bickering like a pair of bitter concubines.
Sasuke stood alone, obsessively tossing sharpened kunai and shuriken at a battered target post. He didn’t speak to his teammates, hadn’t taken a break yet and only paused to glower at the other two whenever they moved too close to ‘his’ territory. Sasuke was broody, angry and antisocial, and today these qualities were putting on peak performance. Neji looked mildly surprised when Sakura told him, with a dreamy glaze in her eyes, that Sasuke had always been this way. Sakura’s dreaminess quickly faded, though, when Neji stoically pointed out Sasuke’s incorrect handling of the kunai, the excessive aggression in his stance and the Last Uchiha’s complete lack of control over his chakra. The angrier and broodier Sasuke got, the deeper Sakura frowned, until she bent down over her notebook and angrily scratched something ending with ‘get pig’ and turned the page almost viciously. Neji shrugged and ignored it.
The female teammate, who Neji darkly told Sakura used to be on his previous team and whose name was Tenten, spent the whole day sharpening weapons. A lot of weapons. Truly an impressive repertoire – but all she did was clean and sharpen them. There was no practice, no display of skills. In fact, the girl held several of them wrong as she worked, something the two interlopers noticed immediately because Genma-sensei had taken extra care to make them read about every single ninja tool and proper handling, in case they encountered them. There was no laziness allowed on Team 4, not by their anal-retentive, heavily caffeinated supervisor. In addition to this, Neji knew his former teammate and her abilities well, and since she showed no change in either her weaponry collection or chakra levels, they quickly wrote her off and moved on to studying the unknowns. Or, rather, the problems.
Now Naruto – he could be, no, he was, an inconvenience. Though his chakra control was abysmal, and the few short minutes he spent training showed that his taijutsu was as lacking as his ability with tools - exactly the way Sakura remembered it from their days at the academy - the sheer amount of chakra in his body was enough to give both of them pause, and then shudder.
“He can go for days,” Sakura murmured. “I think he doesn’t even know what chakra exhaustion is.”
“Plus there’s that weird thing on his stomach,” Neji hummed. “It has its own chakra.”
“What thing?”
“Notebook,” Neji extended his hands and Sakura happily deposited her notebook in them, along with a pen. He meticulously copied Naruto’s chakra pathways and the intricate, almost foreign seeming web on his stomach and abdomen onto a blank page. The two spent a good thirty minutes staring at it and trying to determine its meaning, before promptly giving up and deciding to just grill Genma-sensei over it. He’d either tell them or point them in the right direction, as their sensei firmly believed that secrets only existed if one wasn’t smart enough to figure them out.
Unfortunately, that was the only interesting thing to happen, and it had been over an hour ago. Their interest in the trio below their tree died and only weak embers fed by sheer stubbornness remained, but even those couldn’t be maintained any longer. Not when they hadn’t had lunch and it was nearing dinnertime. Not when Team 7 was almost as useless as a band of tittering gossipers.
“Let’s discuss and go,” Neji said sullenly. “We shouldn’t waste any more time.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Sakura grumbled. “Let me just-“
“Oi, teme! What the hell!” Naruto’s angry yell drew their attention, just in time to see him stomp towards the brooding Uchiha and unceremoniously thump him over the head with the blunt end of a kunai. “You nearly stabbed me in the eye.”
“Hn,” Sasuke replied, very articulately, and lashed out with a kick at Naruto.
“Oh boy,” came a heavy sigh from Tenten. “Here we go.”
“Fuck you!”
“Piss off.”
“Bastard!”
“Dead last!”
And before Neji and Sakura’s bewildered eyes, the two teammates began to beat the living hell out of each other. It wasn’t a spar; it wasn’t angry tousling the likes of which Sakura and Neji engaged in on a daily basis. It wasn’t practice or a game. There was real aggression behind their movements, a genuine sort of dislike, filled with tension and anger that fuelled them. And they both displayed a level of skill that was missing from all of their previous activities, unexpected and entirely out of line between shinobi from the same goddamn village.
“What the hell is this?” Sakura whispered, mildly horrified when Sasuke’s chakra spiked, and his black eyes turned an angry red.
“Sharingan,” Neji hissed. “He has it.”
“Sha-what-gan?”
“Later,” Neji said and the two tensed when Naruto brought his hands together in a single seal. Barely a moment later, several dozens of Naruto clones, solid and real-looking, charged at Sasuke from every direction. The Uchiha beat them all down and then dodged when Naruto came at him, swinging a fist enveloped in –
“That’s elemental jutsu,” Sakura squeaked as quietly as she could. “Naruto, the dumbass of our class, can do elemental jutsu!”
“So can you,” Neji countered, but his tone was shaken, too. He hadn’t expected it, either. Especially since it had taken Sakura several months to manage the single C-rank suiton technique she had under her belt. As if on cue, Sasuke shot off a huge fireball, that was definitely above C-rank, at Naruto and incinerated a large patch of earth behind the blonde.
“That’s how you wanna play it?!” Naruto screeched and when the smoke from the fire cleared, there were two of him – one holding his hand in preparation, the other guiding strange, visible chakra into a ball-shape on the first’s palm.
“Khe,” Sasuke growled and began forming signs rapidly.
Naruto charged just as a screeching sound, like a thousand birds, filled the air. The hair on the nape of Neji’s neck stood on end and, not waiting to see the outcome of the fight, he grabbed Sakura and ran for his life. Sakura didn’t even complain, she just latched onto Neji’s back tightly and shivered, having obviously reached the same conclusion as him.
Team 7 were a disaster. A problematic, dangerous disaster.
Shikamaru had his report complete in less than twenty minutes. All he had to do was find Choji, holler, and say something about all-you-can-eat yakiniku. His trusty best friend immediately dropped what he was doing – at this moment, a delivery assignment – told the client to bill his clan and pranced off, completely uncaring of his teammates’ flabbergasted expressions. D-Ranks were D-Ranked for a reason.
As soon as they took their seats at the yakiniku spot and Shikamaru laid the first piece of juicy beef on the grill, Choji’s demeanour changed. He gave Shikamaru a contemplative look, folded his arms over his belly and hummed as if he had reached a revelation of great importance.
“You’re bribing me,” Choji said.
“That I am,” Shikamaru agreed.
“I’m gonna eat my fill and then I want dessert,” Choji demanded, checking for Shikamaru’s boundaries with a cheerful smile.
“Troublesome,” Shikamaru huffed and gave a nod.
“Hurray! I’m going to eat well!”
Shikamaru cracked open a can of soda and lazily flipped the meat over.
And just like that, Choji spilt all the beans about his team. He didn’t consider it a betrayal of any sort: Team 8 were going to sign up for the Chunin Exams, sure, but their desire for it had been divided. Their instructor, Kurenai Yuuhi and one of Choji’s teammates, Inuzuka Kiba, wanted them to compete. Choji himself and his other teammate, Aburame Shino, didn’t feel like they were ready for it and only agreed out of respect for their teacher. As a result, Choji had no trouble complaining about and praising, in great detail, his team and their shinobi careers in general.
“So Kiba’s a hothead and Shino’s the real problem?” Shikamaru clarified as he dipped a grilled strip of beef in ponzu sauce.
“Yeah,” Choji agreed. “Akamaru’s sharp though, so you wanna knock him out quick.”
“Hmm,” Shikamaru tilted his head. “What about you?”
“I hate fighting,” Choji said with a shrug. “I’ll probably throw in the towel first chance I get. Unless the prize’s food,” Choji narrowed his eyes then, and Shikamaru shuddered. “Then you’re all going down.”
“Course you would,” Shikamaru snorted.
“What about you?” Choji asked curiously before shoving a fatty piece of prime rib in his mouth. “Got any advice for me?”
“Nah, Choji,” Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. “You want information about my team?”
“Fair’s fair, Shikamaru.”
“What d’you know on Team 10?”
Choji blinked and thought about it while Shikamaru grilled four new pieces of meat and added a couple of peppers and tomatoes to the mix, for variety’s sake.
“I thought you hate peppers,” Choji murmured.
“Eh, Sakura has a trick to grilling them,” Shikamaru said without thinking. “Makes them tolerable.”
“Your teammate can cook?”
“Better than my mom.”
“I’ll tell you about Team 10,” Choji decided. “But you gotta get me some of her food.”
“Troublesome,” Shikamaru sighed, but Choji knew him well enough to recognize he’d won.
“Sadako’s mean,” Choji said. “And her dog’s real trained, but they can’t keep up for long and she’s even more hotheaded than Kiba. Ino’s still Ino.”
Shikamaru shuddered at that and Choji giggled a little.
“Hinata-chan’s… well,” Choji frowned. “She’s good, but she’s sort of… she’s just too shy, honestly. Fluster her and you’ve got it in the pocket.”
“Hmm,” Shikamaru nodded and leaned back in his seat.
They ate for a while longer, well Choji ate and Shikamaru watched, talked and caught up. Shikamaru could read between the line’s with the best of them, and he got more out of Choji than he ever bargained for. Kiba was a hothead, yes, but his real problem was his absolute lack of confidence, which inevitably resulted in loud attempts to overcompensate. The littlest provocation or sign of condescension would send him on a tantrum – Neji could, and probably will enjoy, dish it out in spades and he certainly could handle Kiba, even with one hand tied up and his eyes closed. Shino was smart, quiet and adept at his clan’s jutsu as well as taijutsu. His bugs gave him a distinct advantage. But Shino was shy. Especially in front of girls. Particularly in front of pretty, pink-haired girls. Choji probably didn’t even realise he’d given away Shino’s quiet crush on Sakura, but he did and Shikamaru’s female teammate would have an easy win with that information in her hands. Shikamaru could handle Choji, even if he did decide to put up a fight. Sure, Choji had brute strength and he wasn’t dumber than most other genin – but Shikamaru had stamina, speed and genius IQ.
As for Team 10… better pit Sakura against Ino. She spent years handling the blonde. Shikamaru might quit just so he wouldn’t have to hear Ino screech, and Neji was likely to maim her if she hit a nerve which would get him disqualified. Sakura knew most of Ino’s tricks and Shikamaru could teach her the rest, she’ll be fine. The real problem was dividing Hinata and Sadako. Personally, Shikamaru didn’t think Neji should face his cousin. It was too volatile a situation. Sakura would probably disagree, and Neji would want to do it out of sheer hatred. Which left Shikamaru with Inuzuka Sadako and her damn dog. Unless they switched it up entirely and Neji went for Ino despite the risk, Shikamaru for Hinata and Sakura for Sadako…
“I’m ready for dessert,” Choji said happily and drew Shikamaru out of his thoughts.
“Well, might as well get two birds with one stone,” Shikamaru sighed. “Sakura was gonna make some sort of cake today. You want in?”
“Yes!”
The door to Sakura’s apartment was unlocked and the lights were on. Shikamaru and Choji kicked off their sandals and made their way inside, only to come to a halt at the scene that greeted them.
Sakura was cleaning. She was balanced precariously on two stacked chairs, her face red and eyes puffy, and rubbing vigorously above the kitchen cabinets. The wooden floors gleamed, the counters were whiter than Shikamaru remembered them being, and the fluffy rug was missing from the living room – probably laundered and hung to dry. The entire place smelled distinctly of disinfectant, air fresheners and that sterile scent often found in hospitals. Neji was sprawled on Sakura’s sofa, feet hanging off one end, face hidden in the cushions and a blanket over his middle. His hair hung over his shoulders, piling on the sparkling floor, and the image as a whole gave an unmistakable impression of utter misery.
The oddest of all: Genma-sensei, wearing Sakura’s pink apron, was cooking dinner. There was no senbon in his mouth.
“Sensei,” Shikamaru said slowly. “You can cook?”
Odd choice of a greeting, but he genuinely wasn’t aware their teacher could make anything other than bad coffee.
“Ah, the prodigal student returns!” Genma waved a spatula around. “You’re going to throw a tantrum like these idiots, too?”
“It’s not a tantrum!” Sakura yelled. “Neji, tell him!”’
“It’s not a tantrum,” Naji groaned. “It’s a valid existential crisis.”
“What’s valid is that you’re idiots,” Genma huffed. “And that you’re throwing a tantrum over nothing.”
“You’re ditching us!” Sakura jumped down and smacked at Genma with her towel. He dodged. “You gave us a mission and now you’re ditching us, with Team 7!”
“Just give us a training schedule,” Neji said angrily. “Why do you have to hand us over to those monsters?”
“Stop overreacting –“
“Lightening throwing, wind-element wielding, out-of-control animals!” Sakura wailed.
“Ex-teammates!” Neji thundered and finally sat up if only to emphasize his anger.
“Lazy-ass, chronically-late jonin,” Genma added dryly. “I still don’t see your point.”
“Have you even bothered to check them out?!” Sakura shrieked and Genma-sensei covered his ears against the shrill pitch of it.
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow and promptly led Choji back out, quietly promising to invite him over some other time, as whatever was happening currently was too troublesome to bother with. As soon as he closed the door, he heard something shatter and Genma-sensei swear, while Sakura screamed on. Still, Shikamaru dragged Choji off, convinced that his teammates would be just fine and that they didn’t need him to mitigate whatever crazy they were currently going through. Probably.
He did draw some conclusions, though.
One, Genma-sensei was going on a mission of his own. Probably ANBU, probably for a long time since he was handing them off.
Two, Genma-sensei was handing them off, and to Team 7 at that, rather than finding someone to fill in for him – which meant he wanted them to do something with that team, specifically.
Three, his teammates strongly disagreed with the decision, and whatever mission Genma-sensei gave them.
Four, Team 7 apparently were enough of a menace to make Sakura refuse all associations, even though her precious Sasuke was a part of it, and for Neji to willingly subject himself to Genma-sensei’s bizarre training schedules after he’d vehemently sworn to never participate in one again.
All in all, they should’ve stayed out of Konoha.
Probably.
Notes:
With this chapter, the Brood should've caught up with previous publications on FF.net, prior to my migration.
Starting with this I will be going on hiatus probably till mid November, for the sake of my thesis. I've been procrastinating for close to eight months and prior to that have ghosted my counsellor for two years (yes, I'm horrible, you've no idea). So, with the hope that by December I shall have my Master's and never, ever, approach academia again - I bid you adieu.
Toodeloo, darlings.
Chapter 10
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, shefalls holds no claim over it.
I am not yet fully back from my hiatus, but since this revised chapter has been completed and sitting pretty on the side, I decided it might as well be uploaded. Your comments, opinions, rants and observations are always welcome.
Chapter Text
The Brood
10.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“No, but it’s the only one I’ve got.”
“It sucks.”
“It might suck.”
“She sucks.”
“How would you know?”
“Go off, you white-eyed-“
Ino kicked the door to her house open and glared at the three twitching genin on her front step. Listening in on their nervous argument was only fun for the first thirty seconds, and she was not a masochist – she wasn’t gonna listen to being badmouthed on her own porch and just take it, thanks.
Shikamaru was watching her like she just might explode, which was smart because Ino was about to – if Sakura kept glaring at her like that. The Hyuuga boy Neji was wearing the familiar emotionless expression his snooty clan was known for, but he held Sakura’s shoulders so strongly his knuckles turned white and Ino was sure he’d leave behind bruises. It seemed that Billboard Brow only got more violent in their time apart. Kudos to her, Ino didn’t think that was possible, but anyway.
Silent observation was hardly the point of this little show, was it?
“What do you want?” she demanded.
“We have a problem,” Shikamaru said stiffly. “And you’re probably the only one that can help.”
“And I’d help you why, exactly?” Ino raised an eyebrow primly and focused on Sakura, specifically, because Billboard Brow squirmed. Sakura did not squirm, it was uncute.
Suspicious.
“We could pay you,” Hyuuga said flatly.
“Don’t need it.” And she really didn’t, being clan heir and all.
“It would be nice of you,” Shikamaru suggested slowly, through his teeth, as if it pained him to say.
“Like I care,” Ino huffed, undecided on if she should be insulted he even bothered with the excuse or amused at his pained expression when delivering it.
“Oh, my god!” Sakura exploded. “Our sensei ditched us with Team 7 for an unknown amount of time, okay?!”
Ino felt her jaw drop alongside her blood pressure at the sheer possibilities created by that gross oversight. Not even a moment later Sakura shrugged off Hyuuga’s hold and put her own hands over Ino’s shoulders so that she could shake her rather firmly. Her pupils were blown so wide, that only a thin ring of green was discernible in her eyes, and it had the very distinct effect of making Sakura look positively deranged.
“Listen to me, Pig,” Sakura hissed. “Ain’t nothing worth that punishment, you hear? Nothing! I’m too young and pretty to die!”
“That’s entirely subjective, Forehead,” Ino mumbled but stepped aside and herded the frantic Sakura in. Then she threw a look at the girl’s remaining teammates. “Well? Hurry up, I don’t have all day.”
“Wait, you’ll help?” Shikamaru asked in surprise.
“Pineapple Head,” Ino said seriously. “I don’t like you, but I wouldn’t wish Team 7 on anyone.”
“They’re that bad?” Shikamaru asked, a little sceptically.
“Yes!” Three voices snapped, and Ino took note of it. Apparently, Sakura and Hyuuga knew exactly what they were thrown into, which explained why they came to her. After all, if anybody could teach them how to scare off the menace known as Team 7 it was Ino – who knew everything about everyone, courtesy of her dear dad.
“Let’s get to it,” she said once they all settled in the pristine living room, surrounded by her father’s beloved succulents and a few precious hypoallergenic flowers. “Gimme your facts, I’ll give you mine and we’ll go from there.”
“Bless you,” Sakura wailed dramatically, “Ino, you’re a queen –“
“Yeah, yeah,” Ino huffed. “And for your information,” she directed her words and look at the pretty Hyuuga, who raised an eyebrow and clearly didn’t know who he was up against. She’ll very much enjoy teaching him. “I don’t suck. But if I did, it’ll be the best thing that ever happened to your pasty ass.”
Hyuuga choked and turned a deep embarrassed red. Shikamaru groaned and hid his face in his hands. Sakura’s hysterical guffaw was nostalgic enough to make Ino jab at her with her knee and to her surprise Sakura swatted at her side without losing a beat, laughing as obnoxiously as if they’d never been apart. Wherever this thing was going, she already made her decision: this time she was keeping Sakura. Maybe, she’ll keep the tagalongs, too.
In retrospect, Genma wasn’t sure he’d broken the news of his impromptu long-term departure to his brats properly. He should’ve done it after team dinner when they were well-fed and complacent. Preferably on the night before his departure.
He should’ve just… Just sprung it on them, like a surprise break up, and ran for the hills.
Heck, he should’ve delegated the whole affair to a clone to handle while he, in the flesh, was already a good distance outside Konoha proper.
Alas, he didn’t, and after having to watch Sakura ugly cry as she sanitized a batch of toilet paper – he didn’t even know one could, or should, sanitize toiler rolls but weirder things have happened – and Neji bemoan his fate into the cushions of Sakura’s couch for nearly an hour, Genma determined that at least the handoff he’d handle properly.
Therefore, while his triad of nincompoops stormed the Yamanaka clan head’s flowery abode, Genma broke into Kakashi’s apartment and did his level best to guarantee the lazy ass woke up to a heart attack.
“Well whaddya know Gai, you’re right. He does sleep au natural.”
“Bejeebus!”
Genma would savour the image of Kakashi in tiny, pink boxer shorts, waving his pillow as a weapon with sheer terror in his one visible eye for a long, long time. The only thing topping it would be if he’d ever get a glimpse of the paranoid jerk’s face, but he seemed to have glued his mask permanently to his skin.
“Nice colour,” Genma chuckled.
“Naruto got to my laundry last week.” Kakashi didn’t even bother to cover himself up. With his butt almost on full display, he slouched past Genma straight into his tiny bathroom, dunked his head under the sink and sprayed himself with water.
‘Wayawan’ came Kakashi’s expected gurgle, as he continued to either try and drown himself or perform some sort of satanic morning ritual, Genma wasn’t sure but once again, weirder things have happened.
“My team’s joining yours for a while.”
“What?” Kakashi shook the excess water off his hair like one of his dogs and snorted. “No, they’re not.”
“Yeah, they are.”
“I disagree.”
“You owe me twenty thousand ryo, Bakashi.” Genma scratched at his day-old stubble and watched Kakashi squirm. “Either babysit my lil’ darlings or pay up.”
“Maa,” Kakashi drawled as he once again dragged his feet past Genma and finally decided to pull on a pair of pants. “You sure that’s economical? You might owe me by the end of it.”
“Please,” Genma snorted. “My team’s a well-oiled machine. I put the fear of D-ranks into them bright and early, they won’t give you trouble.”
“Why are you here, then?” Kakashi narrowed his eye suspiciously. “My agreement isn’t strictly necessary.”
“It really isn’t,” Genma said. “Sandaime-sama already gave me the thumbs up.”
“Hmm.”
“I’m here to ask you, as an old-time friend, to take care of them.”
Kakashi blinked, twice, as if he couldn’t quite believe Genma’s words.
Genma couldn’t believe himself, either.
That hadn’t been what he was planning to say, at all. He’d meant to warn Kakashi to keep one eye open and his sharingan glued to three genin asses at all times. He’d meant to deliver a very serious threat, that should the shit hit the fan while Genma was gone, it would be entirely up to Kakashi to rub it clean. Genma fully intended to tell the slouching prodigy that his triad of demons was not to be trusted, not to be left to their own devices, and never, under any circumstances, given a smidge of freedom – because Neji could smell weakness, Shikamaru knew exactly how to manipulate situations to his own favour, and Sakura held nothing sacred except for personal hygiene.
Those cuckoos would eat Kakashi and his very detailed folder of shinobi-brand trauma alive, just as Genma trained them to do.
Instead, Genma gave Kakashi the stink eye until his old ANBU captain sighed, dramatically, and promised to watch his students.
“I mean it,” Genma emphasized. “I’m leaving them in mint condition. I expect to find them equally unharmed. I’ll never hear the end of it otherwise, those three bitch worse than Asuma after family dinners.”
“No one is worse than Asuma after family dinners.”
“Shows what you know.”
“This is bullshit,” Sakura said vehemently. “There’s no way the Hokage put someone who’s nicknamed ‘Friend-Killer’ as a jonin sensei. That would be grossly irresponsible, Ino-Pig.”
“Still true though,” Ino insisted. “Besides, I’m not sure if it’s backed up by facts or just people being paranoid rumourmongers. It’s been ages since Kakashi-sensei did anything other than ANBU work.”
“How do you know?” Sakura demanded. “Isn’t ANBU supposed to be confidential?!”
“That’s exactly why it’s such a bad secret,” Ino said with a shrug. “Like, no one knows about the regular troopers in there but the captains? Those identities wouldn’t be kept secret no matter what they did. You can smell it on them.”
“Blood and road dust are hard to wash out after a certain point,” Neji murmured in agreement.
“I meant it figuratively,” Ino clarified. “No one’s actually sniffing at them.”
“We’re getting off track here,” Shikamaru said through a jaw-splitting yawn. “You had a point, Ino?”
“Obviously,” Ino sneered.
“Well get to it, this is troublesome.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, am I wasting your time? You think you could handle this on your own, Pineapple Head?”
Neji rolled her eyes at Ino’s snark and clamped a hand over Sakura’s mouth to prevent any more bickering. For his part, Shikamaru barely bothered to lift his head from where he’d sprawled on Ino’s living room floor, and even then he only did it so that he could give her a half-assed grunt that could either be an apology or a mute fuck off.
“There’s no need for you to handle the team as a whole,” Ino said after a few minutes of petulant silence. “Sasuke-kun and Naruto obsessively rotate around each other, so as long as you stay out of their immediate line of sight, they’ll forget you’re there.”
Sakura grumbled something unintelligible against Neji’s palm but made no attempt to repeat it once he’d let her go. Which meant it was either very rude or unimportant or, very rarely, a momentary spark of brilliance she’d ruminate over before sharing it with the world again.
“I don’t actually know all that much about their third teammate,” Ino admitted. “Just that she hasn’t been responsible for any of Team 7’s insanity, but she hadn’t prevented it either so –“
“So she can’t control her teammates,” Shikamaru grunted.
“I know what she can do,” Neji said with a sniff. “She is from my previous team.”
Shikamaru blinked twice at the open admission. They’d already known it, but Neji hadn’t ever mentioned his past team unless under great duress, read: his ex-sensei and teammate storming their preferred BBQ spot or Genma-sensei dumping them on Team 7 unexpectedly.
“Great,” Ino said. “It doesn’t matter anyway because your easiest route is to work Kakashi-sensei.”
“Why?” Sakura asked. “Isn’t he crappy?”
“As a teacher? Probably.” Ino shrugged her shoulders in an ‘I guess’ motion. “He’s more hands-off than most, but Asuma-sensei sucks ass too, and he’s literally all over us, all the time.”
“Genma-sensei’s crazy,” Sakura offered.
“Stingy lunatic,” Neji agreed bitterly.
Shikamaru snorted.
“So, why Kakashi-sensei?” Sakura asked again.
“Well, he’s your teacher’s long-time friend, for one.” Ino tapped one finger against her knee in irritation. “So he can’t damage you. Shinobi honour and all that. I bet Genma-sensei’s bothering him about it as we speak.”
“That would depend on what one considers damaging,” Neji said flatly.
Sakura pinched his arm for that remark.
“Second, he’s supposed to be some sort of unrivalled genius,” Ino said, openly ignoring Neji’s comment. “That means he’s most likely going crazy with boredom as a genin sensei. Especially since Team 7 had only gone on one mission outside Konoha and were banned from leaving the village since.”
“But we’re going out regularly,” Shikamaru murmured. “We don’t take in-village missions unless we want extra spending money.”
“Exactly,” Ino agreed. “So you guys are his ticket for at least some action. Make him think you’re useful and he’ll be desperate to keep you available which means –“
“Away from his band of terrorists!” Sakura cheered.
“But he’s hands off,” Neji pointed out. “Recklessly so. There’s nothing stopping them from bothering us when he’s not around.”
“Which is always,” Shikamaru groaned.
“Yes,” Ino agreed. “Nothing except yourself.”
Sakura’s eyes widened comically, and she let out a shrill squawk, that could’ve been anything from a horrible laugh to an exclamation of surprise. Shikamaru and Neji understood Ino’s plan a few seconds later and stared at her, torn between horror and admiration.
“Exactly,” Ino said with a smirk. “You know what they hate, individually. Work it.”
“Scare them,” Shikamaru huffed. “Simple. Smart. Troublesome.”
“This is gonna be so much fun!” Sakura cheered. “Neji you gotta let me at your hair!”
“Ugh.”
And that’s how plan ‘Traumatise Team 7 as a Pre-emptive Measure of Self-Defense’ came to be. If, at that time, three genin felt an unexplainable shiver run down their spines in warning… Well, there was nothing to it.
Chapter 11
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto.
Chapter Text
The Brood
11.
The whole thing started off on the wrong foot.
It began with Kakashi-sensei being on time. Or, at least, Tenten assumed he was – because Team 7 arrived at their usual hours and found him already at Training Ground 13, talking to other people. Not just any other people, either. No. Tenten would recognize Neji’s stiff back anywhere, at any time. Even with his hair up in a ponytail and dressed in standard-issue dark shinobi clothes with no clan emblem in sight, she still knew it was him. After all, she’d spent a year looking at his back, wishing that her teammate would acknowledge her somehow so that she wouldn’t feel so outnumbered against the insanity of Gai-sensei and Lee. Now she was acknowledged, if only for being older, but… her teammates weren’t Neji and Lee anymore. Her teacher wasn’t Might Gai.
Tenten didn’t know who Neji’s current teammates were, but Naruto and Sasuke should remember their old classmates. It hadn’t been so long since they graduated after all, and the pink-haired girl standing before Kakashi-sensei was so pretty it was almost offensive, so there was no way anybody forgot her. With her unusual pink hair hung in a braid over her shoulder, slightly oversized standard shinobi clothing, and her thin fingers twisting into the fabric of a hitai-ate tied at her waist, the girl looked like someone who was being thoroughly bullied by an unjust authority figure. Pitiful, adorable, and much too attractive. Tenten almost felt her heart squeeze a bit at the sight.
“You’re late,” Kakashi-sensei chastised Team 7 very seriously as if he wasn’t the cause for their tardy arrival. “Team 4 came here four hours ago.”
“Sakura-chan!” Naruto yelled, “I missed you so much, dattebayo!” He followed his loud announcement by lunging at the girl and wrapping his arms around her with Naruto’s trademark enthusiasm and disregard for his surroundings. His fingers tangled into the pink braid and tugged, putting his whole weight behind the action.
“Ouch, Naruto! You’re pulling on my hair!” the girl screeched in an obnoxious pitch, effectively shattering whatever spell Tenten was under. She didn’t hit Naruto, though, nor did she completely shove him off her. There wasn’t any need – the third teammate had grabbed Naruto by the scruff of his neck and peeled him off, wearing an openly tired expression.
“That’s how you get punched in the face, Naruto,” the boy drawled. His hair was up in a ponytail, too, and he wore the same clothes as the other two, with his hitai-ate hanging from his pants in a blatant show of disrespect. His slanted eyes rolled so hard it was a miracle they didn’t stick to the back of his head.
“Sakura-chan wouldn’t punch me in the face,” Naruto protested.
“You’re right,” Neji said dryly. “She’ll kick you in the nuts.”
Tenten nearly keeled over at the uncharacteristic vulgarity and Naruto paled, immediately crossed his legs, and gave the girl a wary look. Sasuke frowned and Tenten had enough experience reading human icicles to understand he was confused. By what, though, she’d yet to figure out.
“Damn straight,” the girl agreed loudly but a moment later she threw herself into Neji’s space, shoved a finger in his chest, and puffed up like an angry kitten. “Hey! Are you calling me a brute?”
“Your words, not mine,” Neji sneered and smacked her finger away. “Don’t jab at me.”
“Oh, what will you do? Huh?” the girl purposefully jabbed at him again. “What? What?”
Neji’s eyebrow twitched in irritation, and he kicked out, connecting his foot solidly with the girl’s shin. She yelped, turned red in anger, grabbed Neji’s hair, and tugged. Their third teammate put a senbon in his mouth and started messing with it, utterly unbothered.
Kakashi-sensei was watching the scene avidly as if it was the most interesting thing he’d ever witnessed in his life.
“Let go!” Neji yelled, as his own hands reached, one to pry the girl’s fingers out of his hair and the other for her braid, which he promptly pulled viciously. “Let go, you crazy midget!”
“Ouch!” the girl screeched and doubled her efforts to rip Neji’s hair clear out of his scalp. “You let go first! Anal-retentive –“
“Ugly –“
“Your mom’s ugly, pasty, white-eyed, goddamn loser!” with a burst of viciousness and a sudden change in tactics the girl socked Neji straight on the nose and he lost his balance, tripped, and landed solidly on his butt. The girl cradled her fist and gave Neji a dirty look, while he raised his own hands to cover his bleeding nose, glaring at her all the while.
“Troublesome,” the other boy groaned. “Neji, apologize. Sakura, fix Neji’s nose and apologize, too.”
“What!” the girl protested. “He called me a brute!”
“No, he didn’t. He said you’d kick Naruto in the balls, which you agreed with,” the boy countered. “I also saw your foot twitch, you wanted to.”
“But I wasn’t gonna, Genma-sensei said to behave.” She argued petulantly.
“This is behaving?” Tenten muttered, stunned that anyone out there could be a hotter mess than her teammates at any given time.
Sasuke was staring at the three as if they’d escaped an asylum, and Naruto had shuffled two steps away, his expression openly horrified.
“Fix my nose, woman,” Neji hissed. “It stings.”
As quickly as it came all the aggression seeped out of the girl and quite suddenly she was crouching next to Neji, practically sitting in his lap, and fussing over his face. One hand smoothed back his bangs while the other glowed a faint green and poked at his nose hesitantly, an immediate and seamless application of the very brief first aid course kunoichi learned at the academy. The other boy dragged his feet over too and pulled out a pretty pink handkerchief which the girl used to wipe Neji’s face.
“Sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t mean to break it.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Neji rolled his eyes and flicked her forehead playfully. “Ain’t the first time either, you complete brute.”
The girl stuck her tongue out at him, helped him up, and glued herself to his side, her arms wrapped tightly around Neji’s left arm while the other boy put himself to his right. Then, as if they shared a brain cell, they looked up at Kakashi-sensei and blinked innocently in perfect synergy. Kakashi-sensei was staring at them in partial horror (his one visible eye was very wide), which Tenten could relate to, but he was also… shivering. Shivering in what could only be excitement, which wasn’t good.
“Well then, as I was saying,” Kakashi-sensei drawled. “Team 4 were here hours ago. They’ll be joining us for a while.”
“What do you mean joining us?” Tenten asked, maybe a little bit ruder than strictly necessary. The pink-haired girl immediately levelled her with an offended look, though her teammates hadn’t even flinched.
“How long is a while?” Sasuke growled.
“Joining us, as in training and working with us,” Kakashi-sensei explained slowly. “A while is however long it takes. Get over it, Sasuke, people aren’t a disease.”
“Crazy fangirls –“ Sasuke began aggressively.
“Shut it,” Neji growled in turn, startling Sasuke with the immediate response.
“S’not like we want to be here,” the boy sighed tiredly. “We don’t have a choice.”
“And you don’t have to be mean,” the girl mumbled. “I didn’t even go near you.”
“Yeah, teme!” Naruto yelled. “Leave Sakura-chan alone, dattebayo!”
“Hn,” Sasuke grunted. He gave the girl a half-suspicious, half-confused look before stubbornly turning away from her.
“Now, now, children,” Kakashi-sensei mocked. “Get in a line and introduce yourselves. We’re going to be partners for a while, so you have to play nice.”
‘Partners,’ Tenten noted. ‘Not teammates. They’re apart from us.’
The reason for the divide wasn’t clear yet, but she figured they’ll know, sooner or later. When nobody spoke after Kakashi-sensei’s instruction, Tenten felt her eyebrow tick a little in annoyance. Her teammates were disobedient little brats, but the outsiders were being downright rude. So, she took one for the team and stepped forward.
“I’m Tenten,” she said in what really should’ve been a friendly tone but came out a little… not. “The grumpy one’s Uchiha Sasuke, and the energetic blob’s Uzumaki Naruto. We’re Team 7, under Hatake Kakashi-sensei. Nice to meet you.”
“Hyuuga Neji,” Neji said blankly, keeping his eyes glued so far to Tenten’s left, his head tilted.
“Haruno Sakura,” the girl said with a friendly smile as fake as Tenten’s but thrice brighter, as she almost nuzzled into Neji’s arm.
He didn’t shove her off, and Tenten felt a stab of irritation at it.
“Nara Shikamaru,” the boy drawled and something in Tenten’s brain buzzed in recognition. “Team leader. We’re Team 4, under Shiranui Genma.”
“You’re team leader?” Sasuke asked mockingly, probably still butthurt over the fact Kakashi-sensei hadn’t given him the job. He hadn’t given it to either of them, but Sasuke didn’t seem to care.
“I’m smart,” Shikamaru said flatly and gave Sasuke an unimpressed look as if he was hinting that the last Uchiha wasn’t.
“Nicely done,” Kakashi-sensei said brightly and clapped his hands, like an overexcited kid at a kunai shop. “Now, we don’t have any missions scheduled today, so how about you show me what you can do, Team 4?”
“But… we have the week fully booked,” Sakura said, her tone a little unsure. “We’re supposed to be on an escort.”
“It was cancelled,” Kakashi-sensei said with his signature eye crease that was definitely not a smile.
“Cancelled?” Sakura repeated. “Our regular client?”
“You have a regular client?” Naruto blurted, surprised.
“Aa.” Shikamaru tilted his head and eyed up Team 7 before scowling, deeply. “Troublesome. We can’t solo it, no commanding officer.”
“Fucking Genma-sensei,” Neji growled through his teeth, the foulest Tenten has ever heard him.
“But we were supposed to go to Tea!” Sakura protested. “There’s a new facemask I wanted to get, and they’re only produced locally! Genma-sensei knows, I told him!”
“Troublesome,” Shikamaru muttered.
“A third of our monthly bonus gone,” Neji continued, and Tenten noted with some trepidation there was a manic glint in his eye. “This is the second time it’s happened.”
Sakura nodded vigorously, her green eyes staring intently at Shikamaru almost beseechingly.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he said warningly. “We’re not doing it.”
“But my skincare!” Sakura wailed. “What if I break out? It’s almost allergy season!”
“He keeps messing with our money,” Neji muttered darkly.
“Do you have any idea how many discounts are at stake?” Sakura insisted. “This face is, like, a third of my livelihood, Shikamaru!”
“What do you mean, your face is your livelihood?” Tenten asked without meaning to. It was as if her mouth gained independence from her brain and just spewed whatever she was thinking, no permission needed. “You’re a Konoha shinobi, that’s your job.”
Sakura turned to look at Tenten as if she couldn’t believe she was spoken to at all. She eyed her up, not necessarily nicely but not in a mean way either, before sighing rather dramatically and twisting her nose in a way that had no business - none at all - being so adorable. Then she reached one hand to tug Shikamaru by his sleeve to her side, while the other grabbed Neji’s chin and yanked his face down, so they were cheek-to-cheek.
“What do we have in common?” Sakura asked flatly as Shikamaru rolled his eyes, again, and Neji continued to grumble about his loss of money, even as Sakura’s fingers dug into his jaw and pushed up his cheeks as if he was some sort of pet. It couldn’t have felt nice, so why wasn’t he shoving her away as he would’ve Tenten - or Lee, or Gai-sensei?
“You’re teammates?” Naruto answered in Tenten’s stead, seeing as no one else made any sign they were going to. Kakashi-sensei looked far too amused by the situation and Sasuke was more likely to lose his shit, what little of it he had together to begin with, rather than play along with Sakura’s whatever.
“No, stupid. We’re pretty.”
Shikamaru groaned, shrugged off Sakura’s hold, and meandered off to the nearest training dummy, where he promptly sat down, closed his eyes, and gnawed aggressively on the senbon between his teeth. Neji snapped out of his pouting, too, but didn’t make any attempt to escape Sakura’s grip – instead, he narrowed his eyes at her and let out an affronted grunt.
“Sorry, Neji, you’re handsome,” Sakura said in an off-handed manner as if it was a recognized fact and nothing special at all. Granted, Neji was handsome, but Tenten had never discussed his looks with him, and they’d been teammates for a full year before… before. “Either way, we’re good-looking. Do you think old, grubby, civilian merchants pick us for nearby escorts or in-village help because they give two shits about our skills? No. It’s our faces they like, and it takes time and effort to be this attractive, okay?” Sakura’s cheeks reddened a little as she talked and her eyes developed a sheen, not quite teary looking but rather… crazy. Actually, very crazy. “If I don’t have access to quality products and don’t make sure these morons stick to the routine I worked out for them, these faces will be ruined! I can’t carry three uglies on my back, you hear me? It’s bad enough being the only one with any sort of social decorum! All these testosterone-stuffed windbags have going for them is their faces. If you take away the face, all you’ve got left is a bad attitude and pubescent acne - and I am not dealing with it! I’m not! If I can’t have fully human teammates, I deserve eye candy, and so help me if I can’t get it I will lose my mind!”
As Sakura’s rant grew longer her pitch rose, her face reddened further to the point it became alarming, and a purple vein managed to pop on her slim neck - a grotesque enough sight on its own but paired with the fully manic spark in her green eyes, which seemed to redden along with her skin, and suddenly Tenten wasn’t at all convinced this girl was pretty just moments ago. If anything she looked raving.
“I refuse!” Sakura shrieked. “Don’t come for my face!”
“Nobody’s after your mug, woman, get a grip,” Shikamaru grunted from his spot, one eye open in the laziest fashion Tenten had ever seen. “And let Neji go, you’re about to pop his jaw.”
“What? Oh!” Sakura abruptly released Neji, only to turn around and gape at the finger-like red blotches decorating his chin. “I’m sorry!”
“Crazy landing strip of a forehead,” Neji mumbled. “We’ll get you the damn facemask, there’s no need to lose what little sense you have.”
“Really?” Sakura sniffled. Still, Tenten wasn’t fooled by the adorable package a second time. “You’ll get it for me?”
“So long as it shuts you up.”
“I’ll shut up!” Sakura swore excitedly. “I’ll get that nice secretary lady to write us up for some in-village missions to make up for our bonus. And I’ll make champon today, okay?”
“Seafood champon,” Neji grunted, with a sort of softness in his tone that made Tenten shudder.
“No seafood!” Shikamaru yelped and jumped to his feet with a burst of almost frantic energy.
“Seafood champon,” Sakura said slowly. “But spicy.”
Neji twisted his nose but nodded sharply in agreement. Shikamaru, too, didn’t look fully convinced but gave his assent. Sakura beamed at both as if she’d won some sort of prize.
“Ino’s coming over,” she continued smoothly.
“Troublesome,” Shikamaru hissed.
“Again?” Neji demanded.
“You can invite Choji,” Sakura told Shikamaru with a shrug and then turned to give Neji a scowl. “If you had friends, you could invite them, too, but since you’re unlikeable from birth –“
“Because you’re anything but a menace to society,” Neji cut her off with a snort.
“Excuse you? I am very much a blessing to society!”
“From hell, maybe.”
“Ten minutes,” Shikamaru said dryly as the other two once again started bickering, their voices and levels of vulgarity steadily rising. “On average.”
“You – you time them?” Tenten spluttered.
“One finds entertainment where one can.” Though Shikamaru answered Tenten’s question his eyes never actually left his bickering teammates for long, even when Kakashi-sensei started to talk over their loud voices and describe the teams’ joint agenda for the day.
As soon as Kakashi-sensei gave the order to begin daily training, Sakura climbed onto a branch from which she promptly hung upside down without once ceasing her obnoxious tirade against Neji. Tenten’s old teammate, for his part, moved to stand directly beneath the pink-haired brat and dedicated his entire focus to snapping right back at her. They engaged in simple kata’s as they argued, moving only their upper bodies and blatantly ignoring everyone, and everything, else. Shikamaru had planted himself near the roots of the tree his teammates chose, pulled a shogi board out of a sealed scroll, and promptly started playing some sort of bastardized version straight out of Tenten’s nightmares.
In fact, Tenten thought when she was headed home for the day, not one member of Team 4 had looked at Team 7 properly from the moment they met until they dispersed in the early afternoon. Nor did they acknowledge them unless directly ordered to do so by Kakashi-sensei who seemed to be… it wasn’t really amused, per se, but excited. Like a dog with a fresh bone to pick, or a kid with a brand-new toy. Abruptly, Tenten realised that Team 7’s sensei had been, somehow, stolen. Not truly so and definitely not officially, but Team 4 had managed to do something Tenten’s own team hadn’t – they’d drawn Kakashi-sense’s positive attention and kept it, all the while keeping his actual students out.
It was like Gai-sensei and Lee all over again, and in the pit of Tenten’s stomach where she’d buried her bitterness and self-doubt, a sprout of dislike formed.
She didn’t notice.
Chapter 12
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Brood
12.
Plan ‘Traumatise Team 7 as a Pre-emptive Measure’ started off on the right foot but somehow, less than seventy-two hours in, it took a very sharp turn. Well, no, a more accurate description would be to say that their plan barrelled past every warning sign, turned the curve towards ‘fucking hell’ and then nose-dived right off the edge of the ’what is happening’ cliff, at the bottom of which it splattered into a pile of unrecognizable goo, posthumously nicknamed ‘tactical preparations’.
Personally, Shikamaru wasn’t surprised.
Their plan was based on his teammates’ observations and Ino’s informed but not at all objective opinion. The fact that the very root of their success depended on an absolutely uncontrollable variable was all the proof one needed to know they were doomed to fail.
Hatake Kakashi had to be present to be sucked up to. More often than not, he wasn’t.
They figured it'll be fine when that little bit of knowledge sunk in. Even without Kakashi-sensei around, Team 4 could still carry on scaring the daylights out of Team 7 and achieving their intended goal, right?
Wrong.
One needed a certain amount of common sense and survival instincts to stay away from trouble. To notice trouble, to begin with, a person needed to give enough fricks to pay attention to their surroundings.
Team 7 had none.
Capable of improvisation and thinking on their feet they quickly changed directions and decided avoidance was the way to go. This new plan of action should’ve worked even better than the previous one. For the first three days, it did – miraculously. Sakura’s dark past as a raving fangirl was enough to keep Uchiha far away from Team 4 at all times; Neji’s icicle personality and constantly evolving potty mouth sent his former teammate Tenten into a badly disguised existential crisis whenever he spoke; Naruto’s dangerously short attention span never kept him around long enough to be more than a flash of blonde noise on the far periphery of Shikamaru’s awareness.
If only people weren't so troublesome, everything could’ve gone according to plan.
Shikamaru was a genius, and after so long on Team 4 he had no compunctions about admitting it aloud. Frankly, his teammates would most likely qualify as geniuses in their own right. However, unlike Neji, who had the social skills of a mummified silkworm – Sakura’s words – and Sakura’s caustic brand of charm, Shikamaru had the dubious pleasure of growing side by side with the most socially gifted person around.
Inoichi-san, he meant Inoichi-san.
Though his daughter was at least twice as sharp, the Yamanaka heiress cared more about the weeds sprouting up between stones in dusty alleyways than she did about the way society carried on, unless it directly benefitted her in some way. Ino was born to lead T&I, and she definitely would; whether the unit would be heading anywhere good was anyone’s guess, but Shikamaru’s digressing.
Thanks to Inoichi-san’s pretty constant presence throughout his childhood, Shikamaru learned to read people a little bit more thoroughly than he would’ve otherwise. Hence, within minutes of coming face to face with Team 7, he’d come to three conclusions he really should’ve paid more attention to.
First, Neji’s old teammate was twice as butthurt over their old team’s dissolution than Neji was, and the Hyuuga boy still turned a little purple whenever the subject was brought up.
Second, something about Sakura rubbed Tenten wrong on an almost personal level, particularly her interaction with the aforementioned past teammate. Shikamaru briefly considered that maybe Tenten had some sort of feelings towards Neji, but he quickly discarded it. She barely bothered to look at him most of the time but would unfailingly either flinch or blush whenever Sakura bent over. If Ino had witnessed it, she would’ve had a field day. Had Sakura noticed, she’d have preened like an overly proud chicken.
Third, unlike Sakura, who was kept on her best behaviour through bribery and blackmail, absolutely nothing was holding Tenten back from making a menace of herself. And without Genma-sensei to keep her in an iron-clad grip, Sakura was absolutely bound to decide retaliation was worth it.
In retrospect, Shikamaru should’ve paid special consideration to discoveries two and three, and maybe roped Uchiha and Naruto into a tentative alliance of distraction. Had he known what would happen he would’ve marched straight to Kakashi-sensei himself and begged him, on his knees, to please do something.
Heck, Shikamaru would’ve gone to Ino, again. Neji had suggested it but at that point, it was much, much too late. As in, Sakura-had-punted-Naruto-through-a-bench-gave-Uchiha-a-blackeye-and-had-Tenten-in-a-vicious-chokehold level of tardiness.
It started with Sakura arriving twenty minutes late to morning training with her hair uncombed, her face twisted in a grouchy expression and wearing a very specific pair of black leggings under equally black linen pants she tied up at her knees. After their months spent attached at the hip, traipsing through the wide outdoors, Shikamaru recognized that particular attire and expression as soon as he saw it. Neji was similarly aware of what was up. Had Genma-sensei been around, he’d know on sight, too.
It was man’s greatest fear: that time of the month.
And in Sakura’s specific case, the first two days were accompanied by pain sharp enough to be debilitating. After Neji told her to grow up the first time they’d witnessed her flinch and sniffle, Sakura spent several days memorising pressure points for the sole purpose of making them all experience the same pain despite their lack of uterus. She managed it, too, springing her new skills on the unsuspecting triad over breakfast. Genma-sensei had paled and abruptly sat down. Shikamaru thought he was dying for the first few minutes. Neji couldn’t move an inch the whole day.
Suffice to say, Team 4 never looked down on Sakura’s pain tolerance again, and whenever that particular pant combination showed up they diligently did their absolute best to not. Wake. The. Demon.
Tenten, either clueless or purposefully spiteful, did the opposite.
“Painkillers in the left pouch,” Sakura groused darkly as she sat on a rickety bench by the side of the dusty road and made no effort to even blink in the direction of their D-rank: weeding an overgrown field.
In a blatant misuse of his shadow possession jutsu, and also a tad too telling display of his control over it, Shikamaru linked their shades together and produced the aforementioned medication – all without opening his eyes or straightening up from his lounging position. He shoved the tiny bottle of pills under Sakura’s nose at the exact same time Neji offered her his water bottle with one hand, his other buried in Sakura’s hair in an attempt to detangle it.
One of the few things Sakura and Neji had in common was their obsession with their hair, though unlike their female teammate the Hyuuga kept his mostly under wraps.
“Eh, Sakura-chan, are you sick?” Naruto asked curiously from his spot a few paces over, crouched in the field and doing his best to weed it, though he was pulling out the crops along with the invasive plants. “You should’ve stayed home, dattebayo!”
“Tsk,” Uchiha grunted and kicked Naruto in the butt. “Focus, dobe.”
“Piss off teme, I’m talking to Sakura-chan!”
“Both of you shut up and work!” Tenten barked with all the authority of the eldest of the genin. She shot Team 4 the stink-eye and scowled, half muttering under her breath. “It’s bad enough only we’re doing anything useful.”
“I’m on a break,” Shikamaru said loudly before either of his teammates opened their mouths. “Neji’s done.”
“Yeah, well, she didn’t even try.” Tenten’s tone was all sorts of bitter and entirely disproportionate to the fact Sakura had yet to touch a single weed, an hour into their mission. She more than pulled her weight up to yesterday and Shikamaru was reasonably sure that they’d get the entire thing finished before lunch break either way. So what if she slacked a bit?
“C’mon, Tenten! Sakura-chan’s not feeling okay, right?” Naruto stopped trying to shove a fistful of dirt in Uchiha’s mouth long enough to give the stone-faced Sakura a bright smile. “S’okay! We’ll cover for you today. Just get better, dattebayo!”
“How’d you even do this to yourself?” Neji grumbled as he tried to comb through a clump of pink, entirely unaware of what was happening around him. “Unbelievable.”
“Fuck off,” Sakura said vehemently. “It wasn’t on purpose!”
Shikamaru opened one eye to make sure there would be no descent into violence, but there wasn’t any affront on Neji’s face or in his tone, so he wasn’t taking Sakura’s temper to heart today. Uchiha had stopped what he was doing – a combination of weeding and fighting Naruto – to blink at Sakura in shock, and Shikamaru realised she’d never been this rude before Team 7, before. It didn’t quite warrant the look of shock on his face, but who was Shikamaru to judge?
He'd grown up with Ino.
“Whatever it is, I can’t get it out,” Neji said decisively. “We might need to cut it.”
“Come near me with scissors and I’ll cut something of yours!” Sakura hissed, thoroughly offended. “Ino-Pig will fix it later.”
“She’s coming over again?” Neji demanded.
“You realise it’s my place and I can invite whomever I damn well want, yeah?” Sakura growled.
“You realise she’s not your teammate –“
“Oh, my god! Near 360-degree vision and you’re still blind to basic niceties –“
“Like you’re a prime example of decorum or tact for that matter –“
“Shove it up that uptight butt of yours, I don’t give a single shit – EEK!”
In retrospect, Shikamaru firmly believed the initial assault had been an accident. Sakura and Neji argued smack between the fields and their assigned disposal area, the road wasn’t at all smooth and the bucket of weeds in Tenten’s arms was big enough to obscure some of her eyesight. She was relatively clumsy outside of training, too; they’d seen her trip over literally nothing before. So really, it wasn’t all that surprising Tenten knocked her toe on a loose stone, lost her step and in an attempt to regain her balance flipped the basket of muddy weeds over.
That it spilt right over Sakura was a coincidence.
If she’d only apologized, the entire thing would’ve been smoothened over and forgotten. Had Tenten tried to help clean up the mess the girls might’ve come out as friends.
Instead, she’d blinked, took in the image of a horrified, dirtied-up Sakura with weeds all over her clothes and hair, looked Sakura directly in the eye and smirked.
‘Strike one,’ Shikamaru thought and scrambled to his feet.
A clump of dirt fell from Sakura’s fringe onto the tip of her nose.
“Oops,” Tenten almost giggled with a capricious sort of lilt that absolutely didn’t work for her, at all. For Sakura? On the daily. For Ino? Ever since she was born. For Tenten? Nope, not at all.
‘Strike two,’ Shikamaru’s brain supplied. He’d barely straightened and wouldn’t make it to Sakura’s time before Tenten finished digging herself deeper into utter chaos.
Neji’s blank expression suggested he was going through a full reboot, utterly stunned by how rapidly everything was going to shit.
“So sorry,” Tenten said with mock sweetness. “But hey, now that you look the part, maybe you’ll actually get some of the work done, you know? Like a proper shinobi? Or you could just quit if it’s too much for you.”
‘Strike three,’ Shikamaru thought, all of a sudden feeling quite detached from the whole thing.
Tenten, still snickering, turned away, entirely unaware of how badly she’d messed up.
Sakura wiped some of the dirt off her face and then stared at her hand uncomprehendingly. A worm wiggled off her fingertips and fell to the ground.
“Shit,” Shikamaru breathed out.
Neji exhaled so loudly he might as well have screamed.
“Hey, meatball head!” Sakura snarled and stormed towards Tenten’s turned back.
“What did you just call –“
“Take it like you dish it, bitter hag!” Sakura shrieked, grabbed one of Tenten’s hair buns in each hand and used them to headbutt the older girl hard enough the hit echoed.
“Shit!” Shikamaru yelped.
“Dammit, Sakura!” Neji hollered.
They made to intervene, but Team 7 made it to the scuffle first and, well; they didn’t have the experience necessary to handle a rampaging Haruno Sakura.
Uchiha put a hand on Sakura’s shoulder, clearly intent on pulling her off Tenten, but got a fist to the eye for his trouble packed up with enough force that it knocked him flat on his ass. The shock of it, being hit so hard by a former fangirl who couldn’t even kick straight when they graduated school, must’ve been harder to take in because Uchiha didn’t try to intervene again. Instead, he just sat there, his eye rapidly swelling and staring at Sakura with a slackened jaw like he couldn’t believe it.
Naruto, having been smacked by Sakura several times during their years in the Academy, immediately grabbed her around the waist and hauled her off Tenten. It was a fine strategy if Sakura hadn’t spent the last year practising taijutsu with Neji under Genma-sensei’s obsessive supervision. Their jonin instructor wanted them able to wiggle out of any and every hold on their bodies, violently and efficiently. He had a particular interest in Sakura mastering the skill, seeing as she was the only girl on Team 4, and a pretty one at that. As a result, Sakura not only wiggled out of Naruto’s hold, but she’d also flipped him over her head and through the bench she’d sat on just moments before.
Tenten had managed to sit up at that point, the entire struggle taking only a few short minutes, but found herself in a choke hold immediately after.
“I’m going to rip your hair out!” Sakura screeched, nearly hysterically. “Since you’re such a proper shinobi you wouldn’t mind being permanently bald, would you? Huh?!”
“Should we get Yamanaka?” Neji suggested shakily.
“Too late for that,” Shikamaru replied, painfully aware of the tremor in his voice. “Troublesome. We failed.”
Their plan was shattered beyond any point of salvation.
Not only did they fail to avoid or scare Team 7 off, but they also quite possibly made them permanent enemies.
Not only did they fail to make Hatake Kakashi like them, but they also probably put themselves firmly on top of his ‘irritating miscreants list. After all, what jonin instructor was pleased to find two of his students dazed from being punched and the third in a headlock?
Genma-sensei told them to behave, too.
Troublesome.
Notes:
I know that I've been absent and updating even more sporadically than before.
In my defence, academia sucks. In my further defence, my country's going places and none of them are good, at least for my part of the population.
Oopsie?
Regardless, thank you for your patience and continued support.Your comments, reviews, kudos, bookmarks - anything at all are always welcome.
Chapter 13
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Brood
13.
Neji woke up and knew that it would be a Bad Day, capitals obligatory.
It wasn’t the cramped tent, Shikamaru’s elbow in his throat or Sakura’s hair in his mouth. Those he was used to. It wasn’t the dusty sleeping bag he had to share with Naruto, who forgot to pack his own. The Uzumaki was surprisingly diligent about his own hygiene and treated other people’s stuff with great care. It wasn’t Uchiha’s glare for breakfast, either. Neji didn’t like the stuck-up ponce, but so long as Uchiha didn’t engage with him, he was all too glad to ignore his ass. It couldn’t be Hatake either; the useless waste of jonin resources was virtually invisible, for all Neji bothered to look for him.
No, the cause of Neji’s bubbling acidic displeasure was… that girl.
His ex-teammate.
His… almost ex. They never straight out “dated”, relationships between teammates were frowned upon and Neji wasn’t tempted to fuck up his chances at escaping the Hyuuga for a brief, pubescent interlude of drama. It’s why he allowed the whole flirty, borderline-hot, sort of weird eye-batting, smirking and hand-brushing thing to go on as long as he had (three months, twenty days and seven hours. Yes, he kept count. For… reasons). Of course, there was the whole thing where Tenten was very obviously gay but also ragingly in denial about it. It took Neji the aforementioned period of time to figure it out. One gets suspicious when the only thing your prospective future dalliance is interested in is your long, well-groomed hair. And your female clients’ shapely butts. Neji refused to be used by anyone, even if it was done unknowingly or out of desperation. It was insulting, disrespectful and frankly unforgivable. So he started sneering and ignoring Tenten as if she wasn’t even there – which was a lot nicer than he initially wanted to be about it but figured it really wasn’t his place to enlighten her about the possibilities of lesbianism (see, Sakura? He did have tact. And social skills. Bloody harpy).
When Team 4 got assigned to Team 7 during Genma-sensei’s ANBU debrief (if it was supposed to be secret it was a bad one, they figured it out in three hours) Neji foresaw trouble. He always imagined himself to be a logical realist, especially after Team 4 smacked the fatalism mostly out of him. He was certain Tenten would ruthlessly badmouth him to her teammates, and he was prepared to face the music, so to speak. He was used to it.
What Neji didn’t expect was for Tenten to target Sakura. He thought Naruto would do that; his crush on her was infamous throughout the village and Shikamaru swore up and down it would take an act of divine intervention to make Uzumaki change his mind. Of course, after Sakura beat Tenten dizzy the week before, the older girl limited herself to snarky comments from a safe distance and never dared pour trash over Billboard Brow (Yamanaka may be a genius) again. But she also stared a lot more. And blushed an ugly purple whenever Sakura deigned to respond to her taunts (every time, swearing worse than a sailor. If Genma-sensei was there to witness it, he’d have hung her by the ears by now).
It was getting on his nerves.
Evidently, it was also growing old, because, for the past two days, Tenten has been doing her level best to bait him. Neji did not appreciate being dragged into their squabbles; it was beneath him. Sure, he never missed an opportunity to mess with Sakura, but that was their thing. Sakura got under his skin and drummed on his nerves, Neji annoyed her to the point of nausea and migraines. Sakura made his favourite lunch and healed him from minor pains, Neji braided her hair and carried her on his back. Sakura had his back and Neji had hers. They were teammates. They were friends. It was perfectly acceptable to behave ridiculously and childishly with friends.
Tenten was not and never will be his friend.
But anyway – a Bad Day.
They were on a cross-village delivery run, requested by Team 4’s semi-regular clients from the Fire Country’s capital. They were to deliver a bunch of hides from Konoha to the capital, escort the merchant caravan carrying finished products to a resort village a three days march to the east and then return to Konoha, with signed paperwork for a new trade route. Honestly? A standard C-Rank; nothing special about the distance covered or the baggage carried. Team 4 ran dozens of those on the regular, often parallel to other, more secretive work assigned as part of their covert pre-ANBU boot camp.
Chances of success? 100%.
So of course, Team 7 had to ruin absolutely everything.
“Twelve and five!” Neji barked as he ducked under a barrage of clumsy kicks and, pumping chakra into his stiffened fingers, jabbed a merciless strike into the skinny bandit’s jugular. The man gurgled, choked on his ruptured throat and collapsed backwards.
At Neji’s twelve o’clock, Sakura put her tanto through another assaulter’s eye. At his five, Shikamaru’s shadows manipulated two others into mutual suicide.
Team 7 were uselessly trying to subdue the gang of civilians who’d followed them from the capital, intent on stealing their cargo. A cargo they only heard about because fucking Team 7 bragged about it. It was a thorough ambush. Thirty of them, versus two genin teams. A chest of pricey lacquered wooden cutlery had been hauled off, and Hatake followed suit, snarking at the genin to handle the situation.
It wasn’t handled.
The merchants were trembling in their carriage.
Uchiha was the only Team 7 member to be of any use, though Naruto was distracting eight attackers well enough.
Tenten stared at the dead bodies in horror and didn’t move, frozen in place. Neji abruptly remembered that Might Gai didn’t take his students out of Konoha patrol range and neither had taken a life or faced real combat under him, as he deemed them too young and Lee woefully unprepared.
“Shit,” he hissed. “Shikamaru! We need –“
“Tsk, troublesome! Sakura, client escort!” Shikamaru ordered.
Sakura was on it instantly, grabbing the two merchants by the wrists and promptly dragging them off. When the frightened civilians took in her familiar pink hair, they cooperated enthusiastically and ran by their own will, freeing Sakura to put down anyone stupid enough o get in her way. Not that Neji let them – he knew he was on support without Shikamaru needing to say it.
“Team 7 get a grip!” Shikamaru hollered.
They didn’t really get a grip and for the first time, Team 4 failed a mission.
It was a Bad Day.
When Genma left Kakashi responsible for his three musketeers, he’d done it for several reasons.
First and foremost, for laughs. Just the thought of Kakashi having to handle the bipolar dynamic between Neji and Sakura was enough to make Genma’s week. It could, hypothetical, bring up unwanted old memories but Genma didn’t think that very likely. The nature of his team’s relationships may have resembled Kakashi’s long-buried genin team, but only at the surface level. Though they were most often found arguing or engaging in some sort of physical violence, Sakura and Neji were genuinely fond of each other. Shikamaru, too. Genma’s brats had bonded, not just as teammates but emotionally. They were honest friends. Kakashi’s old team… wasn’t and hadn’t. If anything, the ongoing nightmare that was Team 7 was a more accurate reflection of the past.
Second, and no less important, no other jonin instructor could be trusted with his up-and-coming band of terrorists - Genma did an excellent job training them, and the only reason he could manage the team was that they were absolutely terrified of his training methods. One of the worst-kept secrets of Konoha’s top ranks was that Genma’s kiddies were the future heads of ANBU divisions, handpicked by the Hokage and lovingly groomed by, well, Genma. They were well ahead of their peers in sneakiness, viciousness and dead body count. Not because they were powerhouses, but because Team 4 could sneak, talk and flirt their way into practically any place and out of most messes. Kakashi had the Sharingan, so if worst came to worst, he could trap their misbehaving butts in a genjutsu Sakura couldn’t escape. He could also outsmart Shikamaru, at least for now, and kick Neji’s Byakugan-master ass. Hence - capable of handling them.
Third - Genma trusted Kakashi to keep his demons safe.
For this reason, he was very surprised when he stumbled upon his team, white-faced in anger, covered in muck, dust and blood stains, and obviously at the end of their rope, engaged in a shouting match against Kakashi’s team, smack in the middle of the road leading to Konoha. The supposedly responsible jonin was nowhere to be seen. The six genin were glaring daggers at each other, between them were two tied-up men who were dressed like very poor, very desperate bandits, and on Neji’s back were strapped six sealing scrolls used for transporting only one thing - corpses.
‘Ah,’ Genma bit his senbon harder and clicked his tongue. ‘So that’s what happened.’
“You don’t have the right to decide who lives and who doesn’t!” Kakashi’s girl screeched. “You’re insane!”
“It is a shinobi’s duty to complete the mission,” Neji said coldly and only because Genma knew the boy too well by now could he tell Neji was too close to losing what little patience he had to begin with. “Risks and threats must be eliminated.”
“Arresting criminals is okay, ‘ttebayo,” the fox-brat said heatedly. “But you guys just killed ‘em, no questions asked!”
“They tried to put a kunai in our heads!” Sakura snapped and stomped her foot.
“Tried!” Kakashi’s girl shouted. “They wouldn’t have succeeded!”
“You don’t know that,” Shikamaru said almost angrily, which was very dangerous. “They had no trouble breaking your wrist and putting a sword through Sasuke’s thigh.”
“That’s not -“
“Just because you’re weak-minded doesn’t mean others should be, too.” Neji sniffled condescendingly.
“I’m not weak!” Kakashi’s girl whipped out a kunai and aimed it at Neji’s face. “You’re the emotionless, disrespectful bastard!”
“That’s it,” Sakura snarled and - as quickly as Genma knew she could - she had Kakashi’s girl sprawled on the floor. Sakura put herself firmly on the girl’s torso, pinned her arms with her own knees and hit her in the face with enough force to loudly break something. Probably her nose, or cheekbone. “I’ve had it with you! Have a taste of some real disrespect, you stupid cow! Meatball Head!”
“Tenten!” the fox-boy gasped. “Sakura-chan! Get off her!”
“Touch her and I’ll break your arms,” Neji warned as he smoothly intercepted the boy from interrupting.
“Just try it,” the Uchiha growled.
‘Don’t challenge him,’ Genma thought with mounting horror and decided that some fires should not be allowed to burn. Making sure to etch his annoyance on his face, Genma made his presence known - at the same time as Kakashi. Which meant he’d been nearby the whole time and chose to ignore the situation, for whatever reason.
They’ll be having words, Genma decided. He’ll enlist Gai, too.
“Mah, kids,” Kakashi drawled but the look he gave Genma was not at all laidback. “Let’s break this up.”
“In more ways than one,” Genma said brightly. “Oi, pinky, c’mere!”
“Genma-sensei!” Sakura wailed. She lunged at him, pink ponytail flying, wrapped her arms around his middle and squished her face into his stomach in an enthusiastic display of affection he should’ve expected, but really didn’t. It was made even odder by the sheer relief shining in Shikamaru’s eyes and the immediate relaxation of Neji’s shoulders.
His brats missed him. And if that didn’t make Genma suspicious, then he wasn’t a jonin worth his salt.
“’fess up,” he ordered, glaring at Neji in particular, as he was the most likely to throw his teammates under the bus, consequences be damned.
Neji didn’t disappoint.
“Sakura went through your apartment.”
‘Woop, there it is.’
“And your closet.”
‘Wait, what?’
“And your kitchen.”
‘The hell?!’
“Oi,” Genma frowned down at Sakura, who looked up and blinked big-green eyes at him innocently. A lesser man would’ve caved. Genma flicked her on the nose. “Boundaries, remember?”
“I just cleaned!” Sakura protested. “Neji swiped the hundred ryo you stuck in your socks.”
“You got past the genjutsu?” Genma hummed. “Colour me impressed. Now ‘fess up.”
The change was immediate. As Genma’s tone sharpened, Shikamaru straightened, and Neji dropped his sneer. Sakura hurriedly moved to stand between the boys and wiped her face clear of any scowl or pout. They didn’t shuffle their feet, didn’t grumble. The three looked at Genma stoically for a moment, then exchanged a series of looks, before Shikamaru stepped forward and reported.
“During a C-Rank delivery escort, the client and cargo were attacked by hostiles. The assaulters all moved with the intent to kill and do serious harm. Due to the lack of a higher rank on the field and Team 7’s close-quarter involvement with three of the offenders, Team 4 decided that eliminating the threat to the client would take priority to capture.” Shikamaru’s shoulders slouched a little and Genma could almost feel the signature ‘troublesome’ trying to claw its way out of the boy’s throat. Mentally, he awarded him a bonus nap for avoiding the temptation.
And then what Shikamaru said registered, and Genma saw red.
“Hatake,” he growled. “You left them alone on a mission?”
“Kakashi-sensei pursued another group!” the brown-haired girl butted in.
“I asked him, not you. Zip it.”
“I followed another group who’d managed to steal some of the cargo,” Kakashi said slowly. His tone was apologetic - Genma could tell as much only because of how long they’d known each other. It did nothing to soothe his anger.
“Ever heard of clones?” Genma said coldly.
Kakashi’s chakra spiked in irritation. Evidently, he’d not thought of it.
Genma sneered through the senbon in his mouth. He studied Team 7 in silence for a moment, aware that it was nothing but petty bullying but not at all willing to rise above it. Kakashi, the idiot, put Genma’s brats at risk. Granted, they could handle it, both jonin were aware of the fact. By now there was no doubt Kakashi knew each of Team 4’s genin could wipe the floor with his - yes, even Sakura. Heck, she could probably cause the most damage because everybody kept underestimating her. If Genma could guess correctly, Kakashi only left the teams behind because he trusted Team 4 to have the whole thing neatly wrapped up by the time he returned.
And yet.
He’d not prepared his own students to face combat. He’d not taught them the realities of shinobi work. He didn’t impress on them the importance of Konoha above all else, especially personal morals.
Genma clicked his tongue, thoroughly unimpressed.
The Uchiha boy’s eyes narrowed in an angry glare. The Fox boy flinched as if he’d been hit. The meatball girl - and kudos to Sakura’s creative mouth for that one - looked at her feet. Kakashi’s chakra spiked in twice the irritation it did before, and Genma barely restrained himself from flipping the jerk off.
“Escort missions are about guarding the client against all threats,” Genma said flatly, making sure to add just the right amount of disdain into his tone. “The default is to eliminate dangers, not to bring them in. Dead bodies can be harvested and traded for bounties. Live prisoners cost money. What do you think Konoha is, a charity?”
And with that, Genma herded his students back towards the village having successfully completed his own mission, burst Kakashi’s stupid bubble of sainthood and taken petty vengeance for his irritated brats. Team 4 was excellent on the field, yes.
But off it they could be as nasty as they wanted.
Notes:
Your comments, kudos, reviews, etc. are all always, always welcome!
I'm not really back from my hiatus, my thesis is not quite done being written because I constantly get distracted (was slaving over Hogwarts Legacy, actually. It's sort of 'eh' and 'meh' overall, but yeah). Still, I will be updating sporadically.
Thank you for sticking with me!
Chapter 14
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Brood
14.
“You’re shitting me.”
“Don’t start.”
“Again? You’re meeting up, again?”
“Butt out, white-eyes. I’m warning you.”
“Why don’t you just transfer teams? With all the time you’re spending with the opponent -“
“Fuck off!” Sakura exploded and tossed her tanto with near-perfect accuracy at Neji’s head. With a loud splash, Neji fell under the water of one of Konoha’s many streams, while Sakura didn’t so much as wet the soles of her feet. It was a credit to her excellent chakra control if not her temper.
“Sakura,” Genma-sensei grunted. “Stop trying to skewer Neji.”
“He’s being a jerk!”
Genma-sensei shrugged his shoulders as if to say there wasn’t anything he could do about Neji’s natural disposition, just as the aforementioned jerk broke through the water’s surface, all flailing limbs and dramatic coughing.
“You’re fraternizing with the enemy,” Neji said stubbornly once he was safely on the ground and finished spitting out water.
“I’m going to karaoke with Ino,” Sakura said, her tone flatter than an ironing board. “If anything, she’s fraternizing with me.”
“The exam starts in a week!” Neji insisted and it was really a miracle he’d not stomped his foot to emphasize his bratty mood. “You could use some discretion!”
“Oh my god!” Sakura yelled. “Just say you’re jealous and want in on it!”
“I want in on it!” Neji hollered.
“Fine! Six pm, you great idiot! Don’t be late!”
“Fine! Guard!”
Shikamaru gaped as the two resumed their water-top spar and wondered, not for the first time, what exactly was wrong with their heads. Well, specifically in this case, with Neji’s. He knew for a fact Neji absolutely detested karaoke ever since Sakura and Genma-sensei had done a particularly bad rendition of the Konoha anthem during their months of back-to-back C-Ranks. Neji also didn’t care whom Sakura hung out with – she and Naruto were meeting up almost daily ever since Team 4 and Team 7 skipped their separate ways, and Neji never even blinked about it let alone demanded to go with them. When, exactly, Sakura decided she was keeping Naruto was a mystery but she’s yet to invite him into her apartment or cook up homemade ramen en-masse, which meant Shikamaru didn’t need to worry about their dynamics being invaded.
“It doesn’t add up,” Shikamaru muttered.
“Serious?” Genma-sensei snorted and Shikamaru nodded. “Aren’t you supposed to be smart, Nara-boy?”
Shikamaru didn’t dignify the obvious taunt with an answer. Over on the water, Neji kneed Sakura in the stomach, and she planted her fist between his legs in retaliation. Neji crumpled, red in the face, and sank underwater again while Sakura wiped at her sweaty forehead with the back of her hand like a brute.
“Sakura, dammit!” Genma-sensei yelled and stormed over to give Sakura another scolding about what was and wasn’t acceptable in a spar between teammates.
“Next time, I’m aiming for her chest,” Neji swore through tightly clenched teeth as Shikamaru helped haul him out of the stream. “Some things cannot be forgiven.”
“Troublesome,” Shikamaru rolled his eyes and then, out of sheer pettiness because Sakura had done the exact same thing to him just last week, he added: “stiffen your fingers. It’ll hurt thrice as much.”
The fast-approaching chunin exams were causing painfully obvious mass panic in Konoha. Well, obvious to trained shinobi eyes. Shikamaru doubted the civilians suspected that their militant neighbours were losing sleep over ridiculous things, like a weeks-old stain not washing out of their flak jackets or an insistent wrinkle in otherwise pristine uniforms. Heck, Shikamaru hardly believed it, and his own parents were going as crazy as Nara were capable of.
His father hadn’t played shogi in days.
His mother complimented him the day before yesterday.
Fearing for his life and sanity, Shikamaru fled to Sakura’s guest bedroom and claimed it for himself. Neji arrived just short of ten minutes later, his face a peculiar green and hair ruffled, and wrestled half the room from Shikamaru’s desperate grasp.
Sakura rolled her eyes at their frantic squabbling, flipped a coin and sarcastically told both that it was, in fact, her home and if they didn’t quit bothering her neighbours with their incessant thumping, she was kicking them out. Then she let Shikamaru have the bed and helped Neji erect an impressive pillow fort, where he spent twenty minutes hyperventilating before anything remotely coherent left his mouth.
Apparently, the Hyuuga Elders firmly suggested he withdraw from the exams. Then he overheard his old jonin instructor at the Hokage’s reception desk, inquiring about whether Neji was available to register for the exam as part of an improvised team. With his previous male teammate. Who didn’t have a genin team.
Fed up with his family and unwilling to be caught by Might Gai, Neji hauled ass to Sakura’s apartment in search of safety.
“Figured you’d get them off my back,” he told them stoically after his initial panic subsided.
“I’ll smack them with my frying pan if they dare come here!” Sakura swore and patted the aforementioned frying pan almost lovingly not a moment later. It was a brutally heavy thing, cast from a single slab of iron. Sakura swung it around with the same finesse she’d developed for her tanto.
“They legally can’t do any of this without going through Genma-sensei,” Shikamaru said resolutely. “And if they try, Genma-sensei’s going to kill them.”
“Damn straight!” Sakura agreed. “He’s gotten all attached, after his mission. I think he missed us.”
“Unlikely,” Neji said with a snort. “You cockblock him like your life depends on it.”
“Okay, firstly, I do not. Secondly, never say cockblocking again. It sounds so wrong coming out your fancy aristocrat-bred mouth.”
“Suck a lemon.”
Shikamaru rolled his eyes and decided that if they were back to bickering it was safe to go raid Sakura’s snack cabinet. Her mother kept everything in the house well stocked even from the far capital, and recently she’d been making sure a weekly delivery of dried mango chunks was included. He didn't know how the woman found out Shikamaru liked the treat or his preferred brand, nor was he inclined to care.
“This chunin exam’s fixing to be a hell of a mess.” Sakura reappeared in her living room just as Shikamaru made himself comfortable on a floor cushion and ripped open his treat bag. “I thought only the genin cared about it –“
“But it’s a mass panic all around,” Neji interrupted, coming up behind her and nodding his head.
Shikamaru gnawed on the tip of a dried fruit slice and said nothing. Sakura put her left hand on her hip, leant on her right leg and ran her free hand through her hair in frustration. Neji scratched at the tip of his nose and frowned, his eyes glued to a tired-looking plant on Sakura’s bookcase, barely living proof of the fact she hadn’t a green thumb.
“Team 7 still doesn’t know about it,” Sakura ventured eventually. “The exam I mean. Kiba’s been trying to wheedle a response from Naruto about not participating for weeks. He doesn’t get it.”
“They’re signed up,” Shikamaru said thoughtfully. “Genma-sensei said as much.”
“Hatake’s attitude to teaching is negligent at best,” Neji grunted. He dragged his feet past Sakura and plopped face down onto her couch. “Still, as dumb as they are they’ve got the skills for it.”
“Not the brains,” Sakura said flatly. She tapped her foot on the floor and scowled, displeased. “I hate to say it, but Tenten’s the only one with a shred of sense on that team. They’re not getting promoted.”
“Not anytime soon, but they’re in our way.” Shikamaru sighed and leaned back on his elbows, mango snack forgotten. “What’s the prediction for team Asuma?”
“Ino’s trouble, but we knew that.” Sakura dragged over a chair from her adjoined kitchen and plopped down on it, one foot braised on her knee. “Inuzuka Sadako’s thrice as skilled as Kiba, but her dog is leagues under Akamaru.”
“Strike fast and get it over with,” Neji said into the cushions and only months of practice made his words legible. “For both of them. Yamanaka’s jutsu is not as fast as it can be.”
“Thank gods for that,” Shikamaru grunted. “Ino doesn’t need to be any more troublesome than she already is. What about Hinata?”
“She’s Hinata,” Sakura said frostily and that really was all they needed.
The topic of Hinata had become a sore one. On the one hand, Shikamaru knew that Sakura harboured a fondness for their terribly shy and gentle classmate, that they often paired up when necessary back in the academy. On the other hand, knowing what they did about Neji’s past and his relationship with the main Hyuga family, Hinata’s standing dropped significantly through guilt by association. Unwilling to badmouth someone who on all accounts was harmless, they usually acted as if she didn’t exist.
“You trained against the gentle fist enough to handle her,” Neji said clearly, having turned his head to the side and out of the sofa’s fabric.
“You know best about that.” Shikamaru licked his bottom teeth and considered Choji’s information. “According to Choji, their team’s doing fine. Shino’s the most likely to be promoted in general, Kiba’s too unruly for it still.”
“Ino says not to underestimate Choji,” Sakura said. “He’s scared of his own strength, but it’s there.”
“Anyone else?”
“Lee.”
Shikamaru barely managed to stop himself from flinching.
Sakura suppressed a squeak hallway.
Neji sat up and, with a blank mask they’d not seen in a long time pulled firmly over his features, started explaining.
“He can’t sense or use chakra, but his taijutsu is… impressive.” Neji leaned his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together, sinking into the pose as if looking to ground himself. Sakura practically dived out of her chair and planted herself next to Neji, moulding their sides together and invading his personal space in a way only Sakura ever dared to.
As always, it worked.
Neji’s shoulders relaxed slightly; his jaw didn’t clench tight enough to grind his molars together.
Shikamaru marvelled at when, exactly, Sakura’s proximity became synonymous with safety for both of them. It wasn’t about comfort, they were shinobi; they were comfortable on a bare tree branch if need be. This was an instinctual reaction to feeling safe.
Then again, the last time someone came at her teammates threateningly, Sakura put her tanto through the offender’s neck and sliced through the spine on her way out. Nothing was quite as reassuring as knowing someone would kill for you, gruesomely to boot.
“Gai-sensei is Konoha’s undisputed taijutsu master,” Neji continued sourly. “Even the legendary sanin Tsunade-sama, with her explosive fighting style, can’t compare. Its because he mastered every taijutsu art outside of the clan-exclusive ones.”
“And he’s teaching Lee,” Shikamaru concluded.
“Yes,” Neji said. “When we were still on the same team, Lee was close to mastering the early chunin moves, the ones you learn in the field. But that’s not the dangerous part. Gai-sensei’s training is… uncommon.”
“He wears a green latex bodysuit,” Sakura muttered. “he’s as uncommon as it gets.”
“It’s not latex,” Neji said, a slight tremor in his voice. “It’s armoured weave.”
Shikamaru spat out the mango he’d started chewing.
“An armoured what?” Sakura asked, confused.
“That’s insane,” Shikamaru hissed.
“The orange leg warmers? Armoured weave,” Neji continued, a little frantically. “And under them there’re weights. Insane weights.”
“What’s armoured weave?”
“And he moves in that?” Shikamaru demanded. “They both do?”
“They do everything in it,” Neji confirmed.
“That’s absurd –“
“Oi!” Sakura barked, drawing their attention to her. “What the hell’s armoured weave?”
“It’s a special brand of imported fabric,” Shikamaru explained. “They use it for advanced training, but only rarely because it’s heavy.”
“Define heavy.”
“Chakra-influenced heavy,” Neji snapped. “And it doesn’t need to be consciously directed. There’s a seal engraved into the clasps that just siphon it. So as long as you have chakra –“
“Which everybody does –“
“How much weight are we talking?” Sakura demanded.
“Close to one hundred kilos at all times.”
“Son of a bitch!” Sakura shrieked. “And they move like that? Freely?!”
“The problem’s when they take it off,” Neji grunted. “I can take Lee without it, I think. Shikamaru’s shadows are fast enough for it, too. But Sakura you –“
“I’m fucked!” Sakura hiccupped. “Oh, my god. I’m so fucked. Why didn’t you tell us about it sooner, white-eyes?!”
“Because I didn’t know he’d be signing up for the exam! He doesn’t have a team!” Neji shouted.
“What’re we going to do?!” Sakura screamed.
“I don’t know!”
“What do you mean you don’t know; you have to know! You used to be on his team!”
As the two descended into another argument, Shikamaru noticed Genma-sensei land on Sakura’s tiny balcony and observe the situation. He caught their instructor’s eye and gave him his best glare, demanding the man fix his mess. Genma-sensei, the utter bastard, grinned, winked and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
They were on their own.
Notes:
We are back! Sort of.
The plot will be taking off in the next few chapters, as we finally dive into the chunin exam arc.
As always, thank you for reading. Comment, kudos, bookmarks and anything else are eternally welcome.
Chapter 15
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Brood
15.
Genma could smell the tensions rising in the village even in the midst of waging a cold war against Kakashi. He’d recruited Asuma to his side easily enough, while Kakashi had Gai’s staunch support. Occasionally, when she was bored enough, Anko made a point of calling Hatake a ‘goo-brained lunatic’. At the same time, Kurenai waxed poetic about the importance of childhood naivete, or something of the sort. Considering most of their graduating class and generation were currently maggot food in Konoha’s graveyard, or scattered elsewhere over abandoned battlefields, it was honestly surprising the division in opinions was so clear among the few of them that remained.
Granted, Hayato told them they were all idiots and flatly refused to engage. Their commanding officers ignored everything, up to their armpits in diplomacy and security arrangements for the rapidly incoming foreign genin, and their much more dangerous jonin instructors. Genma stopped glaring at Kakashi across the street only long enough to pin his glare on a Suna shinobi who let out too much killing intent in the Copy nin’s direction. Hatake was an ass, and Genma wasn’t currently speaking to him, but like hell will he let some nobody with sand up his nostrils so much as gurgle in his old captain’s direction.
Not for the first time, Grema was quietly thankful for his mostly blacked-out mission record. On paper, of the publicly accessible variety, he was a model expert of ranged weaponry, mostly participating in search and rescue operations. Certainly impressive, but nothing all too fear-inducing. His ANBU ledger was stuffed to the brim with assassinations, acquisitions of targets aka successful kidnapping and theft, espionage, infiltration and several other fun activities of the anonymous kind. Sure, his body count was nowhere near Kakashi’s, who spent the entirety of his black ops career butchering anyone who so much as twitched in his way, but Genma’s baggage of death was heavy enough. Several hundred more than Asuma’s, despite his more active role in frontline warfare.
Still. The anonymity of Genma’s specialization allowed him to skulk past grumbling foreigners, senbon in mouth and coffee cup in hand, without anyone giving a fuck. His unassuming brown hair and black eyes made it even easier to receive the same treatment even out of Konoha – a privilege he was never, ever, taking for granted. With his triad of baboons scampering after him, Shiamaru mid-yawn, Neji in some sort of zombie-like state and Sakura talking a mile a minute while weaving her hair into a monstrosity of a brain, a part of Genma’s heart twitched in gratitude.
They’ll always stand out in a crowd, his kids; particularly Neji with his Hyuuga eyes and Sakura with her pretty everything, but no one will hate them on sight, like Kakashi was hated. No one outside the Konoha elite will ever know how dangerous they were, how much blood they’d spill – already have, all things considered. His brats won’t be powerhouses, not like the damn Uchiha duck-head or the Uzumaki menace; Konoha won’t be flaunting them as an international insurance policy, no. But they will be the blade swung in the dark, the decisive blow, and nobody will ever suspect it.
Across the street, Kakashi rolled his one eye behind his tattered Icha-Icha Paradise. Genma almost twitched his senbon at him in a mocking salute, but then reminded himself that no, Hatake left his little preciouses in charge of Team 7 and Neji had suffered several months’ regression in his social training because of it, which subjected Genma to Sakura’s incessant rumbling about ‘tact, charisma and common fucking decency, you absolute cretin’. No. Kakashi was still firmly in the middle of suffering the silent treatment.
“So I told her that it wouldn’t work, right, because those colours just don’t go together no matter what, but damn Ino-Pig went ahead and did it anyway, the bitch; so now, Naruto’s parading in neon-pink hemmed orange tracksuits and I just can’t look at it anymore, it hurts my eyes –“
Genma would’ve stabbed his eardrums to never have to listen to such nonsense again, but as she rambled about it Sakura also twisted her fingers in Team 4’s special brand of code, a bastardized version of old-school war communications Shikamaru mutilated until unrecognizable, and steadily reported every little spark of strange she’d noticed around them.
‘A lot of appearance-altering genjutsu,’ Genma thought to himself. ‘Nost poorly done but some… hmm.’
Shikamaru was tracking patterns of movement which he’d no doubt analyse to perfection by the time they made it to their training ground.
Neji, despite his seemingly catatonic state, was studiously memorising chakra signatures, assisted with his byakugan which he hid behind a pair of oversized goggles. Those he started wearing a few days ago, after Sakura loudly and very publicly ‘forced’ his too, citing migraines, style, and just because dammit.
Smart, honestly.
Also, funny.
“Yo, Sakura-chan!” Naruto the Uzumaki menace hollered as Team 4 crossed the street and was about to turn the corner. “Ramen at old man Teuchi’s, ‘ttebayo! Ino’s coming!”
“Five o’clock!” Sakura screeched back with an enthusiastic wave.
Genma still wasn’t sure how that particular friendship came about, but the sheer disgust it evoked in both Neji and the Uchiha was reason enough to let it be.
“I thought you didn’t like ramen,” Genma commented, mostly to give Sakura an excuse to keep talking.
“Ichiraku has this light chicken broth they developed,” Sakura gushed. She yanked on her finished braid twice before pooling it around her wrist.
Someone was following them.
“It’s really easy on the stomach, and Teuchi-san packs it with so much healthy stuff! He says it's his fix-all medicine, and honestly, I swear it works because Ino forced Naruto to eat it last week when he was all sneezy, and the next day his cold was gone like that!” Sakura snapped her fingers for emphasis while raising her left eyebrow and flaring her nostrils. Her nails, slightly longer than she usually kept them, clicked together thrice almost imperceptibly.
False alarm, just some academy kids practising.
“Oh yeah,” Shikamaru mumbled, bleary-eyed and swaying on his feet. “I think I tried it once. It’s good.” Then he yawned hugely until his jaw cracked.
Truly, Genma’s kids’ acting improved by the day.
“Sukiyaki’s better,” Neji grumbled.
“You can’t compare them,” Sakura huffed. “They’re totally different –“
“I’ll compare whatever I want, woman –“
“But it makes no sense!”
“Like you make any sense, ever.”
“Oh, fuck you up the nose, you stupid –“
“Wouldn’t touch you with a stick –“
As Sakura and Neji made sure to escalate their bickering dramatically, Shikamaru shuffled forward and whispered something in Genma’s hearing range he certainly didn’t like.
They just walked by two Suna nin, one of which nearly bumped into Neji. Neither had the chakra reserves or network development level of a genin. The boy was closer to chunin. The girl was higher than even that.
Genma expected there to be such representatives, particularly from Suna. Their village was on the brink of bankruptcy and collapse; they couldn’t afford to host their own exams in years, and their survival rate wasn’t all that high when they participated elsewhere. It wasn’t all that suspicious, but those two might make for an interesting case study.
“Track and observe,” Genma ordered under his breath. “Puppeteering is a uniquely Suna skill. If one of them practices, you will learn something.”
“Tsk, troublesome.”
They reached a fork in the road. Genma took the right, with a lazy ‘later’ thrown over his shoulder.
“I’m gonna nap,” Shikamaru told his bickering teammates and continued straight, in the direction of the Nara compound – but also Team 4’s preferred rendezvous point. He’ll probably dig up and categorize any information on Suna-style shinobi arts he can by the time his teammates catch up.
“Okay, no, we need to settle this. This way!” Sakura hissed, grabbed Neji by the arm and dragged him to the left.
Neji dug in his heels impressively, but still ended up following. Genma had no doubt they would soon be trailing the aforementioned Suna shinobi around Konoha, unseen and unheard by anyone unspecialised in tracking. If there’s anything interesting to report, it’ll be in Sakura’s handy little notebook within minutes.
This left Genma free to go suck up to Anko and maybe, if he’s very lucky, sniff out some details about the upcoming exams. He wasn’t going to help his students cheat, that would be absolutely unseemly, but getting a little bit of specified preparation… that was just fine. Expected even.
After all, they were ANBU-babies.
They were all about sneaking.
Notes:
We are steadily coming back!
A short chapter, yes, but this officially marks the beginning of the chunin exam arc. Quick notice that from this point there will be a more serious tone to some scenes, a possible increase in violence and a definitive escalation of potty-mouth behaviour.Comments, critiques, kudos and everything else always welcome.
Chapter 16
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Brood.
16.
It had taken Neji a long time to look in the mirror without feeling sick.
The Bird’s Cage seal was a part of it, sure, a permanent reminder of his enslavement and seemingly inescapable fate – but it wasn’t the cause. His face wasn’t the problem, either. Neji resembled his long-dead mother just enough to make his kinship with the main family easier to ignore. No, what he hated, what made his skin crawl and stomach roll, were his eyes. Those unmistakable Hyuuga eyes: white, pupilless – like a blind cripple, but not at all the same. There was no hiding them; smack in the middle of his face, constantly overworked, draining his chakra since he’d unlocked them at the grand age of three.
Had Neji been born the son of the Clan Head he’d have been proclaimed a prodigious heir on the spot. Instead, he got branded like cattle, chained and collared before he dared to hope for anything other than servitude.
For years the Byakugan was a hated tool to be mastered purely out of spite. It was almost sweet, the spark of rage in Hiashi’s eyes whenever it became clear that his daughters – the stuttering Hinata and the arrogant Hanabi – would never catch up to their cousin. What Neji could do aged five, Hinata couldn’t at ten and Hanabi barely managed just shy of eight. The clan elders muttered about disrespect and shame, Hiashi pushed his spawn harder, and Neji stewed – in his hatred, anger, and petty satisfaction.
Then came Team 4 and slowly the Byakugan became something else. Useful, vital. A tool to maintain their perfect mission record; a safety net to keep them out of unnecessary trouble; an advantage to milk for all its worth.
As he crouched behind a crooked water tank, three rooftops to the north from their targets and dictated the unfolding situation to Sakura, who scribbled every word in her notebook, Neji was – for the first time – actively glad for his kekkei genkai.
The Suna genin were not right.
Despite keeping their distance, Neji and Sakura were almost spotted twice. Twice, just because the boy in makeup was apparently so chakra sensitive the tiny sparks coursing through an activated Byakugan gave him pause. It was sheer luck that both times occurred near open chakra activity, which served as enough of a distraction. Neji had never in his life needed to suppress the chakra he used for his eyes actively, and only thanks to Sakura’s precise directions did he manage the absolute minimum necessary to keep the Byakugan running.
And still, the damn painted jerk kept twitching his head in every direction, as if looking for them.
Then there was the blonde.
“She’s not a genin, no way.” Neji narrowed his eyes and dared to put a little more effort into his glaring to focus closely on the girl’s chakra network. “She’s got the pathways of a good chunin, and her chakra’s jonin level strong. There’s no way she needs to take the exam for a promotion, this is foul play.”
“Suna’s dirt poor,” Sakura muttered, not looking up from her scribbling. “They haven’t held their own exams in ages, and they didn’t participate in others for years, too. According to the books, anyway.”
“You’re not hearing me.” Neji licked around his molars hard enough to feel it in his gums, barely restraining himself from swearing and starting an inevitable fight. “She’s got no business being here, Sakura. She’s got better chakra than we do, and she’s been running it all over, nonstop.”
“Circulation pattern or radius upkeep through minimal –“
“The second,” Neji cut her off with a growl. “She’s marking their path and scanning their immediate surroundings. It’s weird.”
Sakura grunted something unintelligible, snapped her notebook close and looked up with a fierce scowl. The bridge of her nose was smudged with ink and the lashes of her right eye clumped together, her mascara – which Sakura bullied Shikamaru into purchasing for her on a C-Rank months ago – was smudged enough to make her look like she’d been sucker punched right on the cheekbone. Normally, Neji would take absolute pleasure in telling her about it. He considered doing it anyway, screw Genma-sensei’s assignment, but a sudden spike in killing intent from the direction of their targets ended that line of thought.
“There’s no way they spotted us, right?” Sakura nudged past him and scowled in the general direction of their targets’ location. “That’s insane. We sneak past chunin all the time. They’re definitely on guard but they shouldn’t – is that Naruto they just bumped into?”
“Small mercies.”
Taking advantage of Naruo’s massive chakra blanket, they moved closer. On the nearest rooftop, both laid down on their stomachs and while Sakura carefully cloaked herself in a disguising genjutsu and dared to take a peek at the unfolding drama, Neji observed through the wall.
The painted genin dangled the Sandiame’s mess of a grandson by the ankle, looking entirely unimpressed as Naruto screeched at him to drop the brat, or else. Tenten stood behind Naruto, looking torn between backing him up and ignoring the situation. The blonde girl from Suna had no such problems – she was scanning their surroundings, absolutely disinterested in the rapidly escalating three-way shouting match – until a kunai shot its way past the painted boy’s neck, leaving behind a thin measly cut meant to warn.
“Shodaime’s split ends,” Sakura muttered under her breath. “Was he always so dramatic?”
“Uchiha? Possibly.”
“How did I miss it?” she continued, talking over Neji’s snark. “It’s a fucking billboard sign. It’s bigger than my forehead.”
“Just what are you yapping about –“
Sakura muffled a squeak, a sound Neji usually interpreted to be a sort of hybrid mixture of a frustrated scream, irritated huff and a full-on exasperated moan. Below them, Sasuke joined the posturing fight between Naruto and the Suna nin – the girl’s focus and participation granted the second a sharp projectile touched her teammate.
The Sandaime’s grandchild had been tossed through a fence and had Tenten trying to nudge him back into consciousness.
“Can they do that?” Sakura wondered. “Beat up the Hokage’s family without consequences?”
“Leave it alone, Kankuro,” the blonde girl ordered sharply at the same time. “We have no time – Gaara!”
Neji had to grab Sakura before she hit her head on the roof and then plaster a palm over her mouth to prevent the inevitable slew of profanities from alerting the genin itching for a fight below to their presence.
He couldn’t blame her really.
The newcomer’s chakra patterns were so bright, that Neji’s byakugan couldn’t cope for a moment. They weren’t just flooded with chakra, like Naruto’s, but overflowing. It was honestly a mess: some of their pressure points were on the verge of collapse, others clogged, and several torn open by the aggressive, uncontrolled flow of excessive energy – all originating in a ball of angry glow centred at their stomach, where –
“He’s got the same thing as Naruto!” Neji hissed in pain, squinting at the centre of the mass and doing his best to decipher what he was seeing despite the nearly blinding flare. “But it’s not right.”
“Damn straight it isn’t right!” Sakura growled. “Fuck his chakra’s scary, what the hell even is this?! I gotta see this monster!”
“No you don’t, get back down here – Sakura, dammit!”
She wiggled free of his hold and poked her whole head above the wall to blatantly stare down at the ever-deteriorating cockfight – now it was just Sasuke posturing, nose to nose with a short redheaded boy, carrying an impractically large gourd on his thin, twig-like back.
He was rather small overall, Neji mused.
The way the painted boy and the blonde girl practically bent backwards to get out of his way was comical – if you couldn’t see his monstrous chakra, which Neji could.
“Oh, my god,” Sakura wheezed. “This is so weird.”
“This makes zero sense,” Neji agreed. He grabbed the back of her collar and finally managed to wrestle the gaping girl back down. “Do you want to be seen? Seriously, woman –“
“Oh piss off!” Sakura scrambled onto all fours, whipped out her notebook and proceeded to scribble away angrily with such force, Neji could hear her pen scratch against the paper. “Describe the pattern you saw, the one that’s like Naruto’s.”
“Can’t, it’s hard to see.” Neji tried to focus on the boy’s stomach again while grasping for the notebook and prying the pen out of Sakura’s fingers. “Here, let me – okay.”
“This is so weird,” Sakura repeated, now back to discreetly staring at the scuffle from over the wall. “One overly sensitive chakra-type painted guy and one secret chunin, acting suspicious all over Konoha and very scared of the tiny package down there. We need to tell Genma-sensei about them, specifically.”
“And what, exactly, is our point?” Neji huffed.
“You said he’s got that thing on his stomach, like Naruto.”
“No, his is different.” Neji slammed the notebook shut and scowled at it for good measure. “Something’s wrong with it, too. It’s frying up his chakra pathways.”
“Then that’s what we tell sensei!”
“We never told him about Naruto,” Neji pointed out sullenly.
“Yeah, 'cause it’s Naruto.” Sakura turned around and looked at him like he was stupid, which was fairly normal behaviour at this point and therefore not as insulting anymore. “Naruto is a known, familiar variable. That kid isn’t.”
“We’ll tell Shikamaru,” Neji decided. “After that, it’s his call. Team leader, right?”
“True,” Sakura said.
They waited for Team 7 and the Suna shinobi to disperse, then waited some more just to be sure no one spotted so much as their shadows before dropping down from the roof and taking the roundabout route to Shikamaru’s place. They went arm-in-arm, practically nose-to-nose, and smoothly picked up one of the multitudes of unfinished arguments they collected for alibi-sneaking purposes.
It was a fifteen-minute walk.
They had the time to both finish their argument and thoroughly confuse any possible tails.
Shikamaru reported their findings to Genma-sensei a lot faster than either Neji or Sakura expected.
He also, apparently, knew something about Naruto he didn’t share with his teammates, which was admirable for approximately thirty seconds until Sakura realised that Genma-sensei also knew – which meant it wasn’t a secret Naruto told Shikamaru, but something he figured out, and therefore consciously chose not to tell them.
That didn’t sit right with her.
Neither did Genma-sensei’s pale complexion following Shikamaru’s impatiently whispered report.
“Change of plans,” Genma-sensei said through tightly clenched teeth, his senbon not even twitching. “You will avoid these Suna brats at all costs. If you have to share a space with them? You’ll not attract attention. You will not engage.”
“But what if they go swinging Konoha kids about again?” Sakura asked sharply.
“You will not engage,” Genma-sensei repeated firmly. “You’ll send a distress signal and then haul ass out of there. Am I understood?”
“Sure,” she said. “But sensei, why do we need to –“
“Those were orders,” Genma-sensei cut her off.
Sakura blinked.
Neji tilted his head like a dumb pigeon.
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.
Genma-sensei put his face in his hands and sighed.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “Look, you’re smart kids. You know there’s stuff I can’t tell you – for good reason.”
All three of them nodded, Neji and Sakura a little reluctantly, Shikamaru with a sort of defeated nonchalance about him.
“Just… listen to your sensei, yeah? Leave those foreigners alone. Focus on the exams. You know I keep you in the loops you need to circle. If anything changes, or if you’re in danger, I’ll tell you.”
“So they’re dangerous,” Sakura surmised. “More so than we thought.”
“Dammit, Sakura,” Genma-sensei huffed. He reached over and ruffled her hair fondly. “You did a good job sneaking, now stop practising your information gathering – especially on me. Focus on preparing for your promotion. Think… teamwork. A little like your very first survival course.”
“Oh, hell no, I am not doing that again!” Sakura shrieked – but Genma-sensei was already out the door without a backward glance. “Ugh! They can’t stick us in a forest for the exam!”
“Technically they can,” Shikamaru said through a yawn. “In practice, nah. Let’s run combinations and see where we need to tighten up.”
“Certainly,” Neji drawled, before pinning their team leader with a flat look. “As soon as you share what you know.”
“No,” Shikamaru said flatly.
“What do you mean, no?” Sakura demanded. “There’s no secrets on the team!”
“Trust me, this one isn’t a secret so much as national security intel.” Shikamaru shrugged, unrepentant and disinterested. “C’mon. The clan training grounds are empty about now.”
“Ugh, Shika!” Sakura screamed, utterly annoyed, but followed in his slow footsteps, nonetheless.
Neji, scowling and grumbling, brought up the rear.
Notes:
Apologies for the lengthy hiatus.
I'm officially back, but as all over the place as ever. While I did finally hand in my MA thesis and am in the process of officially graduating, my schedule is fully booked by a bran new venture - yours truly is a first time mum. The progeny is going on three months, I am juggling her cute little bum with two needy pets, and a husband who does his level best to help while working 14 h. days - because residencies are hell on earth.
Rest assured though - the full plot of the Brood is planned out and organized, I just need to write the chapters. Hopefully, I'll be able to sit down and do just that more often as the sprog grows up and keeps herself occupied.
Wishing you a good time from the safety of my cushy gremlin cave.
Comments, reviews and ramblings always welcome.
Chapter 17
Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto.
A snippet, and then we're diving into the exams.
As always, thank you.
Chapter Text
the Brood.
16.5.
The first time Genma felt the tell-tale shivers of an adrenaline rush he was four years old, armed with a flowery tablecloth stolen from his mother’s collection and ready to zoom off the Academy’s roof at top speed – to see if he could glide. It was a happy moment – a happy memory: the epitome of childish innocence, recklessness and fearlessness all mixed to produce one of the best days in Genma’s life.
The second time he felt his adrenaline spike, Genma was seven, fresh out in the field, and had stuck a kunai through an ambusher’s eye when the hidden Kumo invader tried to swipe at him from the back. It was the moment Genma was marked down for ANBU: seven years old, instinctually went for the kill, no hesitation and no remorse shown until his genin team (broken and battered, to be promptly disbanded after just a short three weeks) was safely back in Konoha at which point Genma hurled all over himself, his teammates and an unsuspecting stray cat).
Now at the ripe old age of twenty-six, Genma categorised all spikes in adrenaline by cause, duration and inevitable results.
Standing ramrod straight in the Hokage’s office under the Sandaime’s icy, focused glare, Genma felt the tingle of an upcoming adrenaline spike of the kind he hated most.
Fear.
Not a lot scared him nowadays, and even less frightened him enough to wheedle out such a reaction.
The undiluted attention of a pissed-off Sarutobi Hiruzen, sans-pipe, both eyes open and killing-intent spiking by the moment? Genma wanted – no, needed – a drink.
Or ten.
‘Fuck my life.’
“You mean to tell me Suna has sent their jinchuuriki into Konoha disguised as a participant in the chunin exams?” Hiruzen-sama said slowly and, despite having not taken a single puff of his pipe for the twenty minutes he’d spent staring Genma into cardiac arrest, smoke still poured out of the man’s mouth.
‘Fucking fire-natured chakra, fuck my life.’
“Yes, Hokage-sama.”
“That is not an accusation to be made lightly.”
Genma did his level best not to react to Councilman Shimura: not his voice, which he hated, nor his entirely unnecessary presence. As if Genma didn’t know to have evidence before he went about pointing fingers – he fought in two wars and did decades in ANBU, unlike the crippled fucktard known as Shimura Danzo, whose active duty roster was as shrivelled up as his arse – even the blacked out one.
Hiruzen-sama’s nostrils flared. The man reached a spotted, gnarly hand and ripped off a privacy seal from the top of his desk.
In moments, the Hokage’s ANBU guard on duty materialised behind his seat, head bowed in deference.
“Summon Team Ro.”
Genma’s heart, on high alert and fully prepared to go on a frantic beating race, fell so fast he almost swayed where he stood.
Councilman Shimura paled as if slapped, and that was the only good thing about the last hour of Genma’s life.
“Team Ro?” the ANBU asked, and even with the monotone voice all agents used, their confusion was clear.
‘Aha,’ Genma thought. ‘Newbie.’
“Team Ro,” Hiruzen-sama said frostily. “In full.”
‘Shit.’
“Congratulations, Genma-kun,” Hiruzen-sama commented when the ANBU disappeared again, and a furious Councilman Shimura stormed out of the office. “It seems you’re back on duty.”
‘Shit.’
“Of course, that doesn’t free you from your obligation to Team 4.”
As if Genma was ever leaving those nitwits. They’d die without him. They’d also smell active duty a mile away and there was no way in tarnation Sakura would ever leave him alone if she so much as imagined he was injured, and Neji was just the right sort of backstabbing little shit to help her neutralise an unsuspecting Genma. Shikamaru could orchestrate his downfall even if Genma was suspecting – which was his natural disposition when it came to his team of turds.
He trained them so well.
They were going to be all up his ass.
He had to start talking to Kakashi again and as his commanding officer.
‘Fuck. My. Life.’
Pages Navigation
Remidyal on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Jul 2022 02:46PM UTC
Comment Actions
Fallenfrost50 on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Jul 2022 04:28PM UTC
Comment Actions
Hexenwerk on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Jul 2022 04:29PM UTC
Comment Actions
SweetGirl18 on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Jul 2022 04:40PM UTC
Comment Actions
shefalls (orphan_account) on Chapter 1 Tue 12 Jul 2022 07:03AM UTC
Comment Actions
lisi99hc on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Jul 2022 10:34PM UTC
Comment Actions
thisishyo (Hyoranmi) on Chapter 1 Thu 14 Jul 2022 05:55AM UTC
Comment Actions
SuperNerd92 on Chapter 1 Thu 14 Jul 2022 01:32PM UTC
Comment Actions
bean___soup on Chapter 1 Fri 15 Jul 2022 01:21AM UTC
Comment Actions
sssknr_ (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sat 16 Jul 2022 09:20AM UTC
Comment Actions
Anastasia_Romanov on Chapter 1 Sun 31 Jul 2022 04:53AM UTC
Comment Actions
mingxingxing on Chapter 1 Thu 11 Aug 2022 08:41PM UTC
Comment Actions
Lazydemigodsdie on Chapter 1 Fri 19 Aug 2022 03:46AM UTC
Comment Actions
Elentia on Chapter 1 Fri 09 Sep 2022 08:03PM UTC
Comment Actions
bluuroses on Chapter 1 Wed 02 Nov 2022 05:31AM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 1 Sat 12 Nov 2022 01:44PM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 1 Sat 12 Nov 2022 01:44PM UTC
Comment Actions
Ciniliam on Chapter 1 Mon 28 Nov 2022 07:28PM UTC
Comment Actions
DangoTown on Chapter 1 Thu 06 Apr 2023 03:18AM UTC
Comment Actions
TinySakura on Chapter 1 Mon 08 May 2023 01:37AM UTC
Comment Actions
TinySakura on Chapter 1 Mon 08 May 2023 06:11PM UTC
Comment Actions
shefalls (orphan_account) on Chapter 1 Mon 08 May 2023 06:22PM UTC
Comment Actions
TinySakura on Chapter 1 Mon 08 May 2023 08:33PM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation