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Waking up with a splitting headache is not something Marc wanted on a Saturday morning.
He groans as he slowly comes back to the land of the living. He blearily opens his eyes and immediately shuts them again from the bright sun.
Unfortunately his body doesn’t allow his any more peace to wake up as his stomach makes a strange noise. His eyes pop open, oh no, he groans for an entirely different reason as his stomach cramps to an unholy level. Now wide awake he does his best to scramble from the bed and stumbles to the bathroom. He flies in and skids towards the toilet, flinging open the lid and throws up.
Everything goes…swimmingly until something large and hard starts to come up. Marc gags until the object falls out with a splash into the toilet. Given a temporary reprieve, Marc looks down, and sees an intact human skull floating in the bowl.
Shock and frustration hit him at once as he screams, “STEVEN! JAKE!”
When the two alters sheepishly front close enough to the surface, Marc finishes, “WHY IS THERE A HUMAN SKULL IN THE TOILET?!”
Steven coughs, “Well it started when Jake was out last night, and came across something strange.”
“No kidding,” Marc mumbles.
“Well, you see he went to investigate and-”
Jake interrupts, “Cut the crap Steven. Look, I found a guy trying to rape a chick, nothing new, but once I tore the dude off of her, I realized that he something weird.”
Marc sighs, she’s way too tired for this, “Weird how?”
“He smelled like rotting meat.”
Marc blinks, “Wait like his clothes smelled crap?”
“No, like those shuffling things you see on TV. The ones that moan and eat brains. You know-”
Steven interjects, “Zombies, Jake, you mean zombies.”
Jake snaps their fingers, “Yes! Zombies! So the chick-”
“Woman, Jake, remember, chick is derogatory and sexist, created by a male dominated-”
“Yeah, yeah, got it kid, the woman, ran off when she saw me. Anywho, so I go over to the rotting meat bastard and find him just lying on the ground.”
Marc’s headache comes back tenfold, “So you ate the S.O.B. to cover up accidentally killing him, and are now blaming his shitty smell for the reason I up-chucked his skull?”
Jake sighs, “No, you aren’t listening. Yes, the S.O.B was dead when I got to him, but I check him over and his body was cold. As in ice cold, he’d been dead for ages kind of cold.”
Marc’s brain froze at this and then reengage, “Wait, so you’re saying this guy was a legit zombie?” Then revulsion sweeps over him, “Wait, you ate a zombie?!”
Steven tsks, “Jake we’ve talked about this. You don’t have to eat every criminal that you come across. Only the ones we know won’t be prosecuted in the court of law.”
What’s even worse is when Layla comes running in, sees the head, stops, and looks at Marc.
“Am I hallucinating?”
Marc swallowed, “I wish I was if it makes you feel any better.”
Layla nodded, “Right, Jake or Steven?”
Marc rubbed his forehead, headache turning into a migraine, “Jake, but Steven knew.”
Layla stared off into space before sighing, “I need stronger coffee for this.”