Chapter Text
The city of Nightwood is split into two parts. There is Nightwood itself, where humans dwell in the normal world, and then there’s its other half: Fairfall, the capital city of the Cryptic Realm. Fairfall, like the rest of the Cryptic Realm, is populated by various creatures, from fairy folk to cryptids, angels, and demons, even by the gods; all hidden away from the normal world. However, the peace between the two worlds is about to be shattered by the Goetian Syndicate, when their leader, Don Scratch, declares to destroy the two cities as his final act in this world. Now, the fate of both worlds lies in the hands of a ragtag band of warriors from both worlds; prophesied to end the demon lord and his army of Miasmon once and for all with the power of the Pantheon Totems. Into the unknown! It’s morphin’ time! Power Rangers: Pantheon Quest!
Episode 1: The Quests Beginning
Juanita Salazar woke as she usually did, with the rising sun and Crazy Steve’s cry of [cocka doodle moo]. She knew the odd salesman had a home besides his dumpster office outside the bodega, but she let her thoughts on the friendly, yet harmless madman go as she had chores.
She got out of bed and began her morning routine, soon ready to take on the day. She headed down the comfortable home above the family bodega. Her dad Raul Salazar ran the bodega, having inherited it from her grandfather Juan Salazar, who was sadly no longer around. Her grandmother Marisol (lovingly referred to by Juanita as Abuela), still helped out despite being retired. Her annoying little brother Jose also helps out, and she saw the three at work.
Juanita spoke, “Let me guess, mom already left?” Elena Salazar was a rather prominent News Reporter, and as such was rarely around. Raul nodded and said, “Yes. And you have to complete your chores before you do your blog stuff.” She kissed her father on the cheek and said, “I know.”
Jose loved to pester his big sister, and spoke sarcastically, “So are you hoping to find any hodags, or a loch ness monster?” Juanita rolled her eyes and said, “If you must know I am interviewing a doctor at the local hospital who had a paranormal encounter and then I’m looking for bigfoot in the park, given the local sasquatch sighting.” Raul overheard this and growled a bit asking, “Is it Eustace Strix? I can’t stand that man!”
Juanita nodded, while her father was a hothead she agreed with him on his opinion of Dr. Strix. She spoke, “I agree, the guy is a jerk and a creep. But he is a McMansion upper middle class guy. He hobnobs with the 1%. A guy like that doesn’t just say something paranormal happens to them unless they believe it.” Raul nodded and said, “Doesn’t mean I like him.” Juanita nodded in agreement.
Soon enough she was on the last of her chores, that being to take out the trash. She usually saved it for last because she liked to talk to the resident mad man before she left to do her blog. Her blog was on the supernatural and other unexplained phenomena, and Crazy Steve was the closest thing she currently had to an actual paranormal encounter.
Juanita exited through the back door, and once she was in the alleyway Crazy Steve popped up from the dumpster that he insisted was his office. He was a short man, just barely over four feet in height. His skin was pale, almost pure white, and his hair was black as night. He wore a high quality suit and smelled a lot better than someone who spent most of his nights sleeping in a dumpster had any right to. Juanita knew he had a home, it was pretty swanky in all honesty. But he worked long hours and sometimes decided to sleep in his office.
If one saw him on the street you would only think him eccentric, wearing hippy glasses with mismatching lenses, one pink and the other yellow, perfectly concealing his eyes. And atop his head was a pot, with a long handle and everything, which he insisted was a fedora. But what truly made him earn the title of crazy was his speech. No one knew exactly what was wrong with him, but he definitely had a disorder that was similar to Tourette’s syndrome.
Crazy Steve spoke, and his words did more justice to his condition that Juanita’s thoughts could. He spouted what was his traditional greeting, “Hey Every! It’s me! Everybody’s favorite [Number One Rated Salesman Circa 1997]. Crazy Steve!” He then let out a mad laugh, which always sounded different and tended to be something that the human vocal cords should not have logically been able to replicate.
In response to the sound of a trumpet going into a blender Juanita just nodded and said, “Hey Steve.” He turned to her and said, “Hey [friend request accepted]. You have another delivery for me?” She nodded and threw the bag in, Steve noted, “[Praise the lord] for the [weekly fumigation]. Otherwise the [dirty rats] would try to own my [office].” Steve’s voice had a lilt to it that brought to mind a stereotypical used car salesman. But unlike those people whose sleazy voice sought only to rip you off and sell you junk Crazy Steve always delivered on what he promised. The few times anything he sold something defective he gave a full refund with an apology and without any fuss.
Juanita nodded, knowing that he referred to trash night. Steve asked Juanita a question, “So any [weekend plans]?” Juanita relaxed against the wall next to the dumpster and crossed her arms, “Yeah, I’m interviewing a doctor who had a paranormal experience and then I’m going to hunt for Bigfoot.” She sighed and said, “I just wish more people believed. Or at least visited my blog.”
Crazy Steve frowned and said, “Well I [believe I can fly]. And with the [business in red brook] and the [star strikers cross country tour] I think people will be more willing to [see beyond the veil].” Juanita smiled and said, “Thanks Steve.” Crazy Steve nodded and said, “Good Luck Juanita. And remember to [like, comment and subscribe] for more [unbelievable deals].” Juanita left and the crazy salesman closed the dumpster and went back to work.
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Eustace Strix finished his statement to Juanita, and she nodded, stopping the recording device. Dr. Strix was rather well dressed for a doctor, with a bespoke high quality three piece tuxedo. He had an eyepatch over one eye, the other being a cold blue. his blond hair was well coiffed and near him was a fancy cane with the head of an owl.
Juanita nodded and said, “Thanks for your statement Dr. Strix.” He nodded and said, “I just had to tell someone.” Juanita got up and left and when She was gone Strix sighed and relax. For unbeknownst to Juanita the man named Eustace Strix was not a man.
He was a demon.
The Demon Lord Stolas sighed and put his head in his hands. He wondered how Adramelech was able to pass part of his job onto Stolas. The Demon Lord of astronomy, herbs and precious stones was not the media consultant of the Goetian Syndicate. He was the financer, and he did his job very well. He realized that he had to go to their hideout, for it was the thousandth year anniversary of the founding of the Syndicate. Don Scratch himself had a grand announcement, and the only demon stronger than the Don was Him Down There.
Stolas tapped the intercom and spoke to his secretary. She would not know that he was a demon, for only a being who was supernatural could hear the unholy echo in his voice. He gave her an order, “I am not to be disturbed until I say I am available again.” He clicked it off and opened the closet in his office.
The Goetian Syndicate had a hideout realm in between all realms, and only specific portals known to the lords of the Syndicate entered the realm. Not even the gods themselves could see or access the realm unless Don Scratch himself allowed them. While it would most likely endure even if it were completely abandoned by the Syndicate, only a portal to the realm or a truly massive strain upon the barriers between dimensions would allow access to it.
As Stolas entered the closet he dispelled his disguise, a simple illusion spell combined with a perception filter. His true form was a creature that resembled a plague doctor from the middle ages, but instead of the face of a crow he had the face of an owl. His taloned feet clacked on the stones of the realm, the ground covered in a mist like form of Miasma.
The phenomenon of Miasma was born from the darkness of the hearts of all beings and existed in all worlds, even the Heavenly Heights. But in realms heavily infused with Miasma, to degrees that were unthinkable in even the worst of cities and realms, there tended to be a physical manifestation of the darkness. In realms like the hideout of the Syndicate, it was physical because there were so few beings that naturally made Miasma.
He entered the main room and saw the other generals were already there. The demon lords were a varied group, all bound by one thing. They had all been bound by the witch known to humans as King Solomon and were thus a part of what was called the Goetian Nobility. While Don Scratch and his secretary were not among the Goetian demons, the shared bond meant that they were not well known even in the Underworld. The Goetian Nobility looked after its own. Well, it mostly did.
There was a buffet spread and Ukobach was dominating it. The demon lord of Frying and Fireworks was in charge of the Syndicates restaurants and food production. And he was a glutton through and through, his tiger like maw open and consuming everything edible within reach. His flesh was stripped like a tiger and had the attire of a chief, complete with puffy chef’s hat. But he also had a bib, and his once pristine clothes were covered in food stains like if one had messily eaten there fill at a buffet.
Stolas snarked, “Is there any moment where thoughts aren’t about stuffing your gut?” Ukobach shoved a baker’s dozen of donuts into his mouth and in his rather dumb sounded voce responded, “No.” He then started shoving more food in his mouth as Stolas moved on.
The demoness Gremory, lady of hidden treasures and romantic relationships, sipped at a liquid in a wine glass. Stolas knew that she would never lower herself to drink something so common as wine, so the contents of the drink were a mystery to him, and he was inclined to keep it that way.
The master of gossip and rumor mongering in service to the Goetian Syndicate was a master of the art of shape shifting but was in her true form. No form of hers was ever ugly, and her true form was no exception to this. Her body resembled a comely woman dressed in the veils of a harem girl from the old stories of the middle east, her shapely form covered enough so that even intense activities such as fighting, or dancing would not expose her naughty bits but revealed enough so that her beauty was apparent to all. And her head was like that of a rabbit, giving the overall appearance of a demonic playboy bunny.
But the beauty was skin deep, for Gremory was a spiteful and petty being. She proved this by dunking her beverage on Caim, who quickly began to spasm on the floor due to his lack of waterproofing. Stolas had no clue why the demon lord of understanding animals and disputes had so heavily mechanized himself, causing him to resemble an old computer monitor with the face of a canary, but it sure made bullying him easy. Caim was the computer expert of the Syndicate, and despite the importance of computers in modern society the twin facts that he was the newest general and his unbearably arrogant personality made Caim the whipping boy of the Syndicate.
The spasms stopped and Caim’s arrogant voice rang out a single question, “Why?” Gremory responded in her own sultry tone, “because you took the last donut on your first day here.” Caim exploded, yelling out, “That was thirty years ago!” The two began to squabble as Caim did with most beings he talked to.
As Gremory and Caim argued Stolas moved on to find the demon he wanted to talk to. He saw the other two generals talking together, the first being Sabnock. Sabnock was the Syndicates military master, and he got his start in the armies of Him Down There. This suited the demon lord of fortifications and war wounds. Rare was the time when the beast who looked like an anthropomorphic lion wearing armor made from a tank was not raging about something.
This made the fact that he seemed to be having a civil conversation with Adramelech all the stranger. This particular Goetian noble had the face of a donkey and the body of a man. The best way to describe his clothes was if a peacock became a game show host. Despite the demon lord of fashion, geometry and measurement being the Syndicates media master, and thus the shadowy hand who manipulated the news from behind the scenes, he was perhaps paradoxically the most flamboyant demon one would ever meet.
Stolas walked up to Adramelech, who noticed him and said in his ever sadistic voice, “Hey Stolas, why are you late?” Stolas growled and said, “Because you pawned off an assignment onto me.” Sabnock interjected, his own voice slightly comedic even when it was spouting words of pure hatred, “Hey, come on. It’s a party, let’s not talk work here.” He took a wine flute from a servers nearby tray and gave it to Stolas, who begrudgingly took a sip of the beverage that originated in the Underworld.
Waiting on the demon lords were the Gooligans. These beings resembled the greasers of the 50s, save that they were composed entirely of slime. These beings were made from demons with grand amounts of Miasma in there body, the only example being Don Scratch. Each had a different color depending on what emotion the Don was feeling at the time. Most were a blue color, this being the default color of the Gooligans. Some were red, which formed when the Don was angry. And there were pairs of Mercury Gooligans, the Don’s private guard and the Gooligans that most diverged from their kin. They were intelligent, able to speak and had clothes like those of butlers and well-made hair in contrast to the pompadours of slime that most Gooligans had.
The Gooligans had traded there clubs for serving trays carrying food and drinks for the generals. This was a necessity given Ukobach’s appetite. Stolas barely got through his first drink and a cocktail weenie before the only being that resembled a human rapped on a wineglass, calling for their attention.
Beldam, the secretary of Don Scratch himself was trying to get everyone’s attention. A witch, she resembled a human woman of around 40 years of age save for her eyes, which glowed a sickly yellow. She was ignored by the demon lords, even though only Don Scratch ranked higher than she in the Syndicates structure. She resorted to stamping the Endor Staff on the ground, gaining every demon’s attention.
The Endor Staff was a unique artifact of much power. Its origins dated back to the very beginning of the Goetian Syndicate when it was just Don Scratch and Beldam. in appearance it was a staff made from an old tree branch, with it encircling a strange crystal and enthroning a crystal ball. but only the best materials were used, and to any who looked at it who had even a hint of magical awareness could tell that it was suffused with centuries worth of Miasma.
The wood was from an ash tree that once was used to grant wishes but had become poisoned by the Miasma of a slaughtered village. The wood had been harvested at 3:33 AM on Samhain, imbuing it with even more magic as it was imbued with the power of the Devil's Hour on the day when the barriers between worlds were at their weakest. The entirety of the wooden staff was engraved with strange symbols, runes that many witches would recognize but that no being could translate.
at its center was a piece of Fulgerite, a piece of fossilized lightning. supposedly one generated by a deity in a fit of pique. it's power still resonated with that of the heavens, and it was rumored that one could summon and bind death himself with such a pure piece of Fulgerite. Topping the staff was a crystal ball of the highest quality, sculped into the shape of the moon, but bearing an enraged scowl and hate filled eyes.
Beldam spoke in a surprisingly kind voice, but one that could easily turn vitriolic in an instant. One could compare it to the kind voice of the one who sticks the knife in your chest. You wouldn’t suspect the voice until it was far too late. Beldam cleared her throat, “Presenting Don Scratch, lord of the Goetian Syndicate and most feared demon in Fairfall.”
The hubbub died down as the ruler of the Goetian Syndicate was wheeled in by his Mercery Gooligan guards. Don Scratch had seen better days. While covered by hospital shrouds, none of his subordinates could ever forget what he looked like. His body was a grand mask like structure, with a head resembling a zombie snail, an anguished human face under the head of the snail. But only the faintest shadows of his form could be made out from the sheets that surrounded him. IV’s and ventilators were working overtime, all affixed to his body. All the medical apparatus typically given to someone on deaths door was affixed to him, requiring modifications to work with his biology, which was odd even by the standards of demons.
The massive flux of Miasma in his body, the very darkness of the heart that all beings possessed, leaked out of the demon, requiring the IV’s to constantly pump it out of his body lest the Gooligans that formed interfere with his health. The beeping of heart monitors and other hospital style equipment remained constant, as the demon lords vitals were constantly watched. The movement stopped and Don Scratch spoke to the room.
His voice was harsh and biting, unravaged by age. It was a sadistic voice, one eternally taking pleasure in the misery of others. It was one just a hair away from roaring in cruelty and pure rage, and the dark master of the syndicate could not possibly have another voice, “My loyal generals, I am dying.”
The various beings who served him all began to offer denials of this, praising his youth and vigor, to which Don Scratch said, “Spare the theatrics. We all know I am not long for this world.” They silenced, as all knew it to be true. Except Ukobach, who trailed off after the hubbub died down.
Don Scratch continued, “While I may face oblivion, I shall not face it alone. It is my decree that the swan song of my existence shall be the destruction of the cities of Fairfall and Nightwood!” This declaration was met with cheers from the demons and Gooligans, the slimy mooks chanting there traditional, “Oi, Oi, Oi!”
Don Scratch motioned for silence, and all were silent, even Ukobach went silent at his bosses command. He spoke once more, “And to make it interesting, I hereby decree that whoever does the most in the pursuit of the cities annihilation shall be the new Don of the Goetian Syndicate. It matters not how you pursue this aim, for mental and social might is just as important as physical and magical might. The only rule is you are not to betray the interests of the Syndicate, or of me.”
The party was definitely over, and Stolas for one was ready to wreak some havoc.
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Juanita could not believe her luck. She was actually seeing a real sasquatch. Not only that, but she was also getting him on film, in the foreground and everything. No blur or anything! This was going to be great for her blog. Maybe she would become famous. The woman who proved bigfoot was real had a nice ring to it.
Owen could not believe his luck. A girl chasing bigfoot was a perfect target. As a pickpocket he needed to steal what he could not afford, which was everything. He was technically homeless, but he didn’t let anyone know. Well ok, so that crazy salesman knew but he wasn’t a reliable witness. She would be easy to pickpocket.
What neither Owen or Juanita knew was that two days ago some punk kids had thrown a glass bottle from an overlooking hill onto the stretch of land below, which both the sasquatch and Juanita had walked upon. While the naturally leathery feet of the sasquatch and Juanita’s steel toe boots meant they were unaffected by it, Owen was not so lucky. The only things that covered his feet was a few bandages. Owen let out a cry of pain like that of a cartoon cat after being hurt by a mouse, jumping up and hopping around holding his injured foot. Not only did it reveal his location to Juanita, but it also alerted the sasquatch to them both. It looked at them and run as fast as its big feet could carry it.
Juanita was beyond enraged, her first genuine cryptid sighting and this idiot managed to ruin it. She turned to the unknown man and yelled, “Prepárate para morir de dolor!” Owen did not speak a single word of Spanish, but he got the intention behind them.
She charged and yelled a primal war cry, resulting in a chase scene practically straight out of a tv show, Juanita angrily yelling in Spanish, mostly about how he would die in agonizing pain for what he did, her not caring about who he might be or how it could come back to haunt her and about the woods being the perfect place to hide a body.
She eventually caught him, and as she tackled him the two of them fell into a portal that had been hidden from there view by a perception filter. Juanita continued to strangle the man until she realized the sounds of the forest had been replaced by the sounds of a city. She looked up and stared in awe at the sight, getting up and releasing Owen from her death grip. He rubbed his neck and was about to complain when he too was shocked into silence by the sight.
The city was straight out of an urban fantasy novel, with many supernatural beings going about their day as if it were normal. The predominant species seemed to be elves, but they were far from the only species there. Witches on brooms flew by delivering the mail while being chased by dogs wearing little steam punk flight suits like something from Discworld. A convenience store had a group of what could only be drow teens loitering before being chased off by what could be best described as a steam punk robotic bobby. The punk teens left, and the robot nodded and caused its baton to twirl by itself as it continued its rounds. The two awed humans watched as a dragon waited patiently at a crosswalk with a group of elves, all pleasantly chatting about their weekend. The red sign of a man giving himself the Heimlich maneuver changed to a green sign showing a lobster playing an old arcade game, and the waiting beings walked across the crosswalk as if it were normal.
And it was. It was Juanita and Owen who were odd.
While Juanita was in awe seeing the dragon suddenly sneeze made her realize that this man she was with was the only person not liable to accidentally kill her. She turned to the man, who had just been ran into by a Witch with glowing red eyes and bare feet, yelling at him to move it because she had an important package. He turned to her and saw her outstretched hand. Juanita spoke first, “I think we got off on the wrong foot, what with the whole me trying to kill you thing.” She laughed awkwardly and said, “I’m Juanita Salazar, and I think that we should work together to get out of this place before something bad happens.” Owen took her hand and said, “Owen West, same.”
After the handshake was over Owen said, “Ok, you’re the one who knows about this stuff” He punctuated it by waving his arms around to indicate everything, “How do we get out of here?” Juanita pondered that and said, “Let’s try and find the portal we came in through.”
They searched for the portal in vein, for even after seeing Fairfall in all its glory they still did not count as supernatural, and thus were affected by the perception filter. Then they heard a rambunctious voice yell out, “Yippee ki yay monkey man!” The entire population of the city within earshot started to grumble or just take cover. What Owen would swear was Slender Man dove into a nearby trash can, while Juanita believed she saw Mothman fly away. A troll carrying a barrel said, “Oh no. She’s at it again.” A nearby gnome muttered, “What do you think she did this time?” A vampire under a parasol whispered to her companion, “I heard she went bad when her mother died.” The person she was talking to, a skeletal mariachi straight out of a day of the dead festive set, replied, “Yeah, you’d think her father wouldn’t have hired those two fools to be her attendants.”
An elven woman was running towards them, and she yelled out, “Move it or lose it!” She had a milk chocolate like skin and her eyes were as green as emeralds. Both Juanita and Owen were just confused and did not move out of the way, and the woman was running too fast to change course and avoid the collision. What happened as a three person collision leaving all three in a heap of limbs.
A black sedan rolled up and a door opened. The man who stepped out was an imposing elf of roughly middle age, and in a commanding voice he said, “Get in.” His tone brooked no disobedience, and all three of the people on the ground let out a loud gulp of worry.
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Vrugg could not believe his luck, namely how bad it was. As a Sasquatch, he was a guardian of nature. He worked at a park which was visited by many from both the Cryptic Realm and the Mortal Realm. He thought that a relatively unknown location such as this one would mean he would not be bothered by those seeking to prove that his kind was real. But of course someone of the mortal realm saw him, and thus did the stalking begin.
Vrugg’s brooding was interrupted when a piece of trash fell on his head. He looked up and saw the perpetrators, a pair of drow teens. The two punks threw another piece of trash down, obviously mocking him all the while. That caused the sasquatch to break, and he roared in rage. Unbeknownst to him, his negative emotions created a Misamon.
The consequence of high concentrations of Miasma, Misamon are monsters that are typically mindless save for the desires of those who formed them and causing destruction. While Misamon could form independently, like in this case, more often than not it was the work of demons. Indeed, Misamon are naturally subservient to beings like Demons and evil Witches, who were masters of the inner darkness that comprised Misamon.
The new Misamon manifested next to Vrugg, the Nature Sasquatch. This beast looked much like a sasquatch, but it was undeniably unnatural. Its arms had the appearance of a set of monkey bars, its chest had a sort of roller tic-tac-toe look, its legs resembled slides and its face was an angry mask. It shouted out a parroted line, for the newly made beast whose title was “The Guardian of the Park” did not understand the significance of any lines it shouted, as Misamon without a mind could still speak, if only by rote. It roared, “Don’t Litter!” and punched Vrugg high into the sky.
Overhead a strange item was observing the interaction. To the average observer it looked like a square mirror was given drone rotary blades and set to work. For those who could sense magic it was obvious that this was a powerful scrying device. This was a Vanitas Drone, Adremelech’s greatest creation and the main method of spying used by the Syndicate. Able to cross the barriers between realms without effort and to detect Miasmic hotspots, these drones earned the demon lord the high rank he enjoyed in the Goetian Syndicate.
Beldam teleported in along with a horde of Gooligans, giving the newly formed Misamon a single command, “Go and destroy the city of Nightwood!” Nature Sasquatch nodded and roared, “Stay on the Trail” It led the horde of Gooligans to the city while Beldam trailed behind them.
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It was awkward in the back of the van, as two humans watched the elves glare at each other. The man spoke, “Rose, I know it’s been hard since your mother passed, but what would she think if she saw you now?” Rose said absentmindedly, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same speech you gave me last week.”
Her attention turned to the humans, “Hi, I’m Rose Goodfellow, and the surly man driving the car is my dad Robin.” Owen and Juanita both gave their names and then Juanita asked, “If it isn’t too much trouble, could you please send us back to Nightwood?” Robin nodded and said, “Sure, but first I must thank you formally for apprehending my daughter.” Rose groaned out, “Dad.”
The van came upon a castle, but instead of passing it the van drove up. Owen said, “Swanky place. The guys who own it must be loaded.” Robin noted, “Well, the treasury is pretty full, but we don’t spend it willy nilly.” Juanita and Owen both widened their eyes and Juanita stammered, “Wait, so you”. She didn’t finish the sentence before Rose interrupted, “Yep, I am Princess Rose of the Cryptic Realm, and my father is King Robin, ruler of the Cryptic Realm.”
The newly identified king seemed to realize something as he parked the car, “How did you ditch your attendants this time Rose?” All heard an argument between two people as they saw another car parked in the driveway. A man and a woman, both holding rocks, argued over something that they couldn’t make out. King Robin marched over to the pair with the others trailing behind.
The woman, a scruffy looking scrapper who would not look out of place in a punk gang, said, “Well, it can wear down rocks, so why would a rock work?” The man, who had clothes that were so flamboyant they could function as warning lights, shot back, “Well I still say that its weak enough to be shattered!”
King Robin roared out, “What is going on here? Toby, Fen, explain why you are here and not at least trying to do your jobs!” Toby and Fen both stammered before Fen said, “Rose tricked us into letting her out, and we locked ourselves out of the car.” King Robin had a throbbing vein in his forehead like an angry anime character as he asked with a deceptively calm voice, “Then why didn’t you use some spare keys or just break the window?”
Toby looked pointedly at Fen and said, “Well we were going to, but Fen insists that it wouldn’t work.” Fen piped up and said, “Yeah, sand can wear rocks down, and glass is made of sand.” Toby glared at her and said, “I still think that toughness matters.” The two started arguing again and King Robin lost his temper completely, “That’s the last straw! You two are fired!”
Toby and Fen were shocked, and Toby sputtered a bit before asking, “But who would be Rose’s attendants?” King Robin pointed towards Juanita and Owen, “Those two have had a better track record in the last hour than you two have had in the last century! They will be Rose’s new attendants!” Juanita yelled out, “I didn’t agree to that!” King Robin merely replied, “We can make a schedule that works for you, and I’ll pay handsomely.” Turning his attention back to Toby and Fen he said, “Well, why are you still here? Scat!” Toby turned into an American short hair cat and ran, while Fen turned into a Doberman and followed her friend.
Owen snarked, “What does it say about my life that the fact that seeing what just happened doesn’t faze me in the slightest?” Juanita just marched up to King Robin and said, “I can’t work here full time, and I do not appreciate being hired without my consent.” King Robin put up his hands and said, “Well, I am certain we can work something out that will allow us both to be happy. At least hear me out, ok?” Juanita glared and then sighed, “Alright. But only because you know the way home.”
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Juanita had to admit, King Robin knew how to make a deal. She and Owen were now officially Rose’s attendants and had a schedule that worked perfectly for them. She was currently in a rather posh perfume room trying on some fancy perfume whose label was in elvish.
Owen suddenly burst into the room, wearing only a towel. He yelled out, “Those pointy eared galoots tried to drown me!” Juanita sighed and said, “They were just bathing you. And I for one am grateful because you were tracking mud in the palace.” Owen spluttered in anger and Juanita left to check on Rose.
The Princess of the Cryptic Realm was sulking, and upon seeing the human approach she noted, “I’m honestly conflicted. I know my dad is paying you well and you and that Owen guy seem nice enough, Fen and Toby were my friends.” Juanita patted her back saying, “Well, you will see them again.” Rose got angry at this, “No I’m not. My dad is going to keep me locked up here forever! And I can show you why!”
Rose led Juanita and Owen, now dressed in clean clothes and new shoes, to a grand room. In the center was a series of pillars, atop each of which was a glorious crystal totem of a pagan god. Ten in total, they were each beautiful and kept in a glass case that glowed with what was obviously magic. Juanita and Owen looked in awe at these objects, A red totem of Thor wielding the hammer Mjolnir was at the center of the room. A blue crystal totem of Athena with her owl upon her shoulder was next to it, and on the other side was a green crystal totem of Anubis holding the scales upon which he judged the hearts of the dead.
The other totems order of position was not immediately relevant, the humans much more focused on the artifacts and the elven noble having seen these objects so often that they had lost their grandeur. A yellow totem of the sun goddess Amaterasu, a white totem of the elephant headed god Ganesh, a black totem of a feathered serpent god that was a common motif to the South American pantheons, an orange totem of the horned god Cerunnos, a purple totem of some demonic lord, a golden totem of a fire dancer that Juanita realized was most likely the goddess of dance Lono, with the last being a silver totem of a Chinese general that Juanita deduced was most likely Guan Yu.
Rose make a sarcastic sweeping gesture and said, “Behold the Pantheon Totems. The Goodfellow line is duty bound by the gods to keep these objects safe until a prophesy comes to pass. Something about two brave knights falling from the sky or something.” King Robins voice rang out, “That one already happened Rose and you know it.”
The King stepped in and said, “These totems are blessed by the gods themselves and infused with the power of the morphin grid. One day the prophesy will come to pass, and Don Scratch will fall!” Rose rolled her eyes and shouted, “Don Scratch is a myth, an underworld boogeyman demons tell each other!” King Robin yelled back, “You of all people should know that is not true! He and the Goetian Syndicate are responsible for the death of your mother, Queen Peony!” Rose shouted in response, “Mom died of an allergic reaction! The prophesy is bull, and I will prove it!”
Rose stomped over to a lever that had escaped the humans notice and firmly grasped it. King Robin yelled out, “Rosalind Rafflesia Goodfellow! Stop what you are doing right now!” Rose scoffed, “Ok, despite my mortifying middle name, the full name ultimatum hasn’t worked since I was seventy.” She threw the lever, and the glass lowered, the magic warding the totems broken.
Not even a second had passed before something happened. The totems glowed and began to fly, swirling around the room. All present were shocked, with King Robin yelling out, “What have you done Rose?” Rose screamed back a panicked, “I don’t know!” The totem of Thor flew towards Rose and suddenly a magical bond was forged with what appeared to be red electricity harmlessly shocking the elven princess. The totem of Athena bonded to Juanita with harmless blue electricity, and Owen was bonded to the Anubis totem with green electricity.
The other totems flew out of the nearby window to parts unknown. Suddenly an elven guard burst in, his breath ragged. He gasped out his message, “My king! Gooligans are attacking the city! And a demon lord leads them!” The poor guard collapsed from the exhaustion of having run from what was a battlefield to deliver this warning.
Suddenly strange wrist guards appeared on the wrists of Rose, Juanita, and Owen. Suddenly they knew what they were supposed to do. King Robin clearly knew it as well, as he pointed to the door and merely said, “Go.” The three rushed out to their destiny.
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Stolas was having the time of his life. The last time he had this much fun was during the Great Depression. So much Miasma, so much power he had gained. And when he destroyed the cities, his power would grow even greater. He would be the one calling the shots. The thought excited him as he raised the Vault Buster Hammer and brought it down on the head of a pathetic Cop bot that dared to stand in his way.
The magitech golems were mostly focused on their primary directive, that being the protection of civilians. Some sacrificed themselves to hold off the Gooligans, and they were either overwhelmed by the brutes born of Don Scratch’s drippings or curb-stomped by Stolas.
Stolas brought his hammer against a store window and began to loot it. He was born an imp of greed, and that greed never truly left him. He held a particularly valuable string of pearls when he heard a shout from behind, “Hey!”
The demon lord turned and saw something odd. An elven woman and two humans, one of whom was the blogger he had been interviewed by earlier. He made no indication of recognition however, for even if she was supernatural it was better if his identity as Eustace Strix was hidden. He instead let out a mad laugh, enjoying the wariness his naturally echoing voice gave the trio, and said, “I suppose you are here to stop me? Well, I won’t stop until I destroy this city! I shall rule the Goetian Syndicate!”
Rose was troubled by the realization that the thing her father was so afraid of was real but steeled herself. She and her new attendants held there pantheon totems and yelled out, “It’s morphin time!” They inserted the totems into their wrist guards, which they knew to be there morphers. They morphed with a suitably epic effect, and they became rangers.
Rose shouted first, “The Fighter of Thor, Quest Ranger Red!” Juanita went next, “The Wizard of Athena, Quest Ranger Blue!” Owen was the last, “The Rogue of Anubis, Quest Ranger Green!” Rose yelled out first, “Into the Unknown! Power Rangers” in unison all three yelled, “Pantheon Quest!” An explosion occurred harmlessly behind them as was typical of morphing sequences.
Stolas merely laughed again, “Rangers? This just got more interesting. Have at you!” Stolas used the wreckage around him as projectiles, his telekinetic abilities on full display. The rangers dodged the broken glass and jagged bricks and used their powers to fight the Gooligans.
Rose used the power of electricity and her new super strength to thrash the Gooligans. Meanwhile Owen used his new control over the shadows and invisibility to sneak attack the monsters. Juanita was having the time of her life, for she now possessed magic powers. Admittedly only stuff an RPG would count as cantrips and magic missiles, when wielded smartly they proved more than enough to defeat the enemies arrayed against her.
In response Stolas snarked, “You can’t find good help these days. Like they say, if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself!” He charged while causing the debris left by his attack to fly ahead of him at high velocities. This caught the rangers off-guard, leading to them taking damage.
The rangers then summoned there weapons, realizing the strength Stolas possessed, especially when compared to the Gooligans. In Roses hands was a distinctly goat like sledgehammer, she roared its name before she threw it at the charging demon lord, “Mjolnir Sledgehammer!” Like the weapon of Thor, it flew at the demon while crackling with electricity. Stolas dodged out of the way but was hit by its return. Still he continued to charge.
Stolas quickly joined mele combat, matching the Vault Buster Hammer against the Mjolnir Sledgehammer and Owens Ankh Daggers, his own ranger weapon. These daggers were similar in shape to the key to life, or ankh, of Egyptian symbols. Wreathed in shadow and able to regenerate when thrown, these weapons perfectly suited Owen, just as the Mjolnir Sledgehammer perfectly suited Rose.
Juanita drew back slightly for the best use of her own weapon, the owl topped staff fittingly called the Minerva Staff. She decided to banish the demon, chanting the spell only for the staff to emit a rude noise. Stolas laughed again and said, “You know what? I’m not even gonna waste my time on you!” He levitated Rose and Owen and threw them at Juanita. Laughing again Stolas yelled, “Later suckers!” before teleporting away.
The three rangers demorphed while still in a heap. As they got up Rose groaned and asked, “Ok, so what was that?” Juanita blushed and said, “I guess I really can only cast cantrips.” Suddenly Juanita’s phone started to ring, and she answered. The face of her father appeared, and he was panicked, “Honey, don’t come back to the bodega! Monsters are attacking!” He was interrupted by the telltale chanting of “Oi” by the Gooligans, and a monstrous shout of “Respect Nature!” The call ended there, and Juanita realized her family was in trouble. She looked to Rose and Owen, both of whom understood that they had to save the innocents in Nightwood.
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Crazy Steve was having a normal day and was about to leave for his home when something strange happened. What looked like greasers made of slime were being led by a sasquatch made of park equipment in attacking the city while a dead ringer for Zelda Spellman holding a staff one would find an evil overlord holding lazily followed behind. The strange bigfoot beast roared, “Prevent Forest Fires!" It then manifested great hedges that broke through the concrete and damaged buildings. At first he just assumed this was one of his hallucinations, but the screams of other people quickly dissuaded that notion.
"What the [fifty percent off]!" Crazy Steve yelled as he dived for cover. Peeking out at the destruction he noted, "This looks like a job for the [Power Rangers]. If only we [had a team]." However Steve quickly found that he was wrong about that last part.
Three people ran up to the horde of demons. While the salesman did not recognize the woman in the center, he did recognize the other two. They were his dear [friend request accepted] Juanita Salazar and his acquaintance Owen West. His hand went to his pocket, but this worst case scenario was averted by the trio morphing into Power Rangers.
Steve decided to hang back, noting how well the weapons suited the rangers. While he didn’t know the girl who became the red ranger, by the way she was slinging that sledgehammer around, Steve could tell that she was a wild child kept in a prim and proper house and was only now allowed to run wild. Juanita was always a smart cookie and had a great fascination for the paranormal. Thus her weapon as the blue ranger being a magic staff was fitting.
Owen, as the green ranger, used a set of shadow dagger reminiscent of the ancient Egyptian symbol for life. The daggers suited him, although he did not know Owen all that well, the pragmatic and criminal connotations of daggers suited Owen well.
Crazy Steve decided to hang back for now, observing the battle and ensuring the rangers won by any means necessary.
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Rose was surprised to see the witch Beldam accompanying the Goetian Syndicate. She was a well-respected witch, and to see her aiding a criminal syndicate was confusing. The elven princess focused on the monster in front of her, a Misamon she believed. It punched her, driving her back with it’s pure strength, causing it to roar, “Prevent Forest Fires!"
Despite its strength and hedge shields, the beast was mere fodder to the rangers working together. Soon enough Rose knew it was time to end the fight. She yelled out, “Asgardian Smash!” A bolt of lightning hit from the sky which took the form of a massive hammer, destroying the misamon. The rangers cheered, but they knew they were not out of the wood yet.
Beldam huffed, pulling out the Endor Staff and began to chant a spell.
From extinguished sun and rotted moon
With these dark and ancient runes
You who bellowed proud and defiant
I call you forth to become a Miasma Giant!
The unholy spell was old magic, not as old as things like sympathetic magic, but almost as old. It reached to a far off realm, known as the Giants Graveyard.
The Giants Graveyard was a well named world. It was a world that was dead and had been for quite some time. Whatever had killed this world had happened so long ago that it predated even most of the immortals and gods themselves.
The world was choked with Miasma, so much so that any living being would die upon entering the realm, such was the Miasma. The apocalyptic event that killed this realm was long gone, but no life was existent in the realm. The ground was completely covered in the bones of Giants and all others who had died here, perfectly preserved by the miasma when they should have long since crumbled to dust.
It was eternally stormy on this world, but there would never be rain. The apocalyptic event had replaced all the water with dormant miasma. This created oceans and rivers of slime as dark and deadly as obsidian. The only life here was strange blobs of dormant miasma that assumed a humanoid form only to perish quickly as the deadliness of this world effected even them
The only light came from a rotted moon with a face of anguish and hatred, the miasma having smothered the stars and extinguished the sun.
As the power of Beldam's spell reached the dead world, a giant skull's eye sockets glowed an unnatural orange, and the skeleton began to reassemble itself, pieces missing from the skeleton being replaced by the other smaller bones merging to form a new version. When the skeleton had rebuilt itself the Giant was clad in flesh once more before pulling out a massive sword and cutting the air in front of it, creating a portal to the mortal realm. it entered the portal, fully aware of the harm it was being made to do but unable to stop itself.
What Beldam had summoned was a Giant, a being gangly of limb with orange tinted skin and a beard like leaves. It cried a single tear and let out a sound that to most beings sounded like a whale song being auto-tuned and remixed, but to Elves could be translated perfectly. Rose repeated what it said softly in confusion, “I’m Sorry?”
A massive gust of Miasma swirled around the Giant, transforming it into a true Miasma Giant. These creatures took inspiration from a defeated Misamon, gaining an appearance similar to the slain beast as well as gaining powers nigh identical to its counterpart. The Park Giant, born from the Nature Sasquatch, resembled an enormous mix of trees, walking paths, and playground equipment. it let out a monstrous roar and began to attack the city of Nightwood, bringing much sorrow, pain, and destruction. Beldam took this opportunity to teleport away, returning to the Syndicate’s hide out while the Vantias Drones continued to observe the scene.
Rose again knew what to do, yelling out, “Come forth, Goat Zord!” On the fields of Valhalla the Goat Zord arose and charged through a portal. Soon the Zord manifested and charged through the streets of Nightwood. It’s horns crackled with electricity, every inch of it identifiable as a Norse object despite the fact that nothing of Norse mythology was as advanced as a Zord.
The Goat Zord charged the Park Giant, delivering a blow powered by a bolt of lightning. Rose jumped into the cockpit of the zord and initiated the transforming sequence. The Goat Zord stood upwards, its parts rearranging until a humanoid figure stood in its place. She roared the name of the new configuration, “Thunder Goat Fighter Zord!”
Even with the Park Giants super strength and energy shields, shaped like the hedges the Nature Sasquatch used to guard itself, the giant was still no match for the Thunder Goat Fighter Zord. Each punch delivered by the Zord carried with it the fury of a lightning bolt and hit with the strength of a wrecking ball, easily shattering the energy hedges.
Soon enough Rose knew it was time to finish the fight. She shouted out, “Final Strike!” The Thunder Goat Fighter Zord jumped high up into the air, so high as to cast a silhouette against the sun itself. The Fighter Zord transformed back into its animal mode, and as its horns crackled with the full fury of the storm Rose shouted the name of the finisher, “Ram Slam!”
It was as if Mjolnir itself had been hurled from on high, smiting the Miasma Giant and destroying it. The Goat Zord let out a bleat of victory and Rose said, “Quest complete.”
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Crazy Steve watched in awe, and swore one thing, “I shall protect [the secret] of the rangers identity’s. If I dare betray there trust may I wind up [dead in a ditch].” He then saw two animals staring at the rangers, a female Doberman, and a male American short hair. The salesman spoke to them, “You had better keep the secret as well, or I shall [Have Your Pets Spayed Or Neutered].” The Doberman spoke, “Is he talking to us Toby?” The cat whispered a reply, “Yes, but we definitely knows we can talk now.”
The two animals revealed there human forms, for they were in fact the attendants that King Robin had fired earlier that day. The man who was the cat spoke, “My name is Tobermory, and my friend her is Fenriya.” The girl interrupted her friend, “Call us Toby and Fen.” Toby continued, “We were fired by King Robin for failing in our duties to Princess Rose Goodfellow.” He pointed to the Red Ranger, and Steve realized they were referring to her. Toby continued, “We are going to explore society, but we lack a place of residence, so please oh great sage, do you know of a place where we can rest our heads?”
Fen glanced at Toby and asked, “How are we sure he is a sage?” Toby glared at Fen and said, “Oh come on, you heard the way he speaks, how could he not be an arcane sage?”
Crazy Steve blinked and decided that this was no stranger than anything else that had happened this day. He responded, “So you want to be the newest employees of [Big Shot] Industries?” He hummed and said, “I have only a few other employees, so I do not have any dedicated employee housings, but you can stay at my house.” He threw the duo his keys and said, “Just don’t burn it down while I am gone. I might have more rules in the [FUTURE!]” Fen looked at Steve and he preemptively said, “My house will recognize me, [Don’t worry about it]” Fen and Toby’s eyes widened, and Fen whispered, “He is a sage.”
The two ran off and Crazy Steve yelled after them, “The address is on the back of the [Key fob!]” He sighed and mused to himself, “I guess a [smart home] would seem magical to [talking animals].”
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As the day closed Juanita sighed, uploading her video. After getting her father to accept volunteer help from Rose and Owen, so as to explain there comings and goings that would undoubtedly occur in the future, she was beat. But her followers expected her upload.
Juanita saw the video she was uploading, and she whispered, “No way.” Her camera had been recording throughout her time in Fairfall. While the camera had cut out shortly before Rose ran into her and Owen, what was recorded was pure gold.
What followed caused confusion in many. Not even a single person in the entire block did not hear Juanita’s rapturous cries of things like, “Thank you god!” and “halleluiah!”
Author notes
Thanks to Krockman18 for letting me use his great content and beta reading the story.
Some voices
Stolas/ Louis Cipher is voiced by Alex Hersh in his bill cipher voice.
Caim is voiced by Richard steven Hortez in his invader zim or chaos voice.
King robin is voiced by matt berry.
Ukobach is voiced by dan Castellaneta doing his homer voice.
Adramelech is voiced by Mark Hamill doing his joker voice.
Don Scratch is voiced by Nick Ellsworth doing the Moon Bear King voice from the video game Puppeteer. If you don’t know what that sounds like, go check it out. It’s a great story, and it needs more fanfiction.
Beldam is played by Beth Broderick, doing her aunt Zelda voice from the original Sabrina series. IE the Sabrina the Teenage Witch series.
Crazy Steve is essential a fusion of Spamton G Spamton from Deltarune and Crazy Dave from the Plants Vs Zombies franchise, with the name taken from Jerry Trainers character from Drake and Josh. The name wasn’t actually intentional.
Juanita will occasionally slip into Spanish, which I use google translate for. Sorry about any mistakes. And for those wondering Juanita is saying, “Prepare to perish in pain!” At least that’s what she is supposed to be saying.
Juanita can only cast cantrips, at least at this point. She gets a power up later in the series, as you would know if you gave Krockman18 the love he deserves. But whenever she tries to cast a spell above her level the Minerva Staff makes the fairly oddparents magic wand fart noise, like when a wish would break Da Rules. It won’t happen often.
When Miasma Giants form, they always let out a monstrous roar. The standard monstrous roar is that of void termina from Kirby star allies. I’ll get to the variant roars when they come up. For the miasma engulfing the giant, go to tokufun and watch a zenkiager growth sequence, the imagery of the kudatest becoming a great wald (that purple cloud stuff) is what you should see when a giant becomes a Miasma giant. Again, there is a different one, but that will show up later.
Oh, and [Big Shot] Industries actually does exist, and it doesn't have employee housing because, perhaps ironically, it isn’t big enough to necessitate it.
Ok, next is chapter 4 of wonder force.