Chapter Text
Flower dreamed of being a singer when she was older. However, being an orphan and having a deeper voice, she was bullied and ostracized by the other kids.
Disheartened, she started to lose hope in that dream and started to interact less with her classmates.
By grade 3, the bullying had subsided, and she was lonely.
One day, while walking home, she saw a white-haired boy getting bullied for having long hair and being called girly. As past memories flooded her mind she approached and socked one of the bullies in the face and stood up for the boy.
That was how Flower met Utatane Piko.
They soon became friends, and when she was invited over, she was enamoured by a guitar lying in the living room.
When she asked about it, Piko responds, "Oh, that's my sister's guitar. Do you want to play instruments?" he excitedly asks.
"Sure" she replies.
Piko then pulls out a Yamaha keyboard, Flower picks up the guitar, and the two eight-year-olds start playing. Now, to the bystander, it just sounds like a cacophony of noise, but to them, they were making the world's best music and having a blast for all of 40 seconds before a shout is heard across Piko's house. "PIKO! I SAID DON'T TOUCH MY-" as Piko's older sister Miki storms into the living room. "GUIT-ar?"
Both of them froze as Miki just stared at them. "Oh, you must be Piko's friend." she states, her anger suddenly dissipating "I'm Miki his older sister, but please don't touch my guitar it's really expensive." she pauses "I'll be right back." before awkwardly running back to her room.
Flower hears rummaging noises as Miki comes back down again with another guitar, this one noticeably more worn, and gives it to Flower. Miki picks up her guitar and yells, "Let's play some real music!" and they all start playing. By the end of the day, Miki had taught the basics of guitar to Flower, which meant that she could actually play music instead of randomly strumming strings.
Miki ended up giving her old guitar to Flower, which was probably the first time anybody gave anything to her.
By the end of the year, Flower was an orphan no more, as Piko's mother decided to adopt her. However, Flower did notice a slight frown when her new mom looked at one of the papers before signing it.
Her life steadily improved with her new family, and finally felt loved.
When out at the Christmas market with her siblings, she saw two blonde-haired people, a boy and a girl, about the same age as her and Piko bickering and thought nothing of it.
As the three siblings were enjoying hot chocolate, she was suddenly pelted in the face by a snowball.
"WHO DID THAT!" exclaimed Miki aggressively
"Sorry!" the blonde-haired boy shouted "Are you okay? It's my stupid sister's fault."
"NOOO! IT'S NOT LEENNNNNN!" the blonde girl shouted, "YOU THREW THAT SNOWBALL!"
"NOOOOO! YOU THREW THAT SNOWBALL RIIIIIIN!" Len retorted, "EVEN IF I DID, I WOULD STILL APOLOGIZE, UNLIKE YOUUUU RINNNN!"
Both of them start arguing and going at each other's throats.
Flower sees her older sister picking up two snowballs and throwing one at each of them. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!"
The ensuing snowball fight was chaotic, with snow flying everywhere, but it was really fun.
RIn chickened out before the snowball fight ended, resulting in Len surrendering and the three siblings victorious.
That was how they met Kagamine Len.
After the fight, with his sister nowhere to be found, he decided to hang out with them.
"Hi, sorry we got off on the wrong foot I'm Kagamine Len!"
"Name's Miki, kid. These two little runts are Piko and Flower," replies Miki "You did pretty well, considering your sister ditched you"
"She betrayed me and probably is playing with that Miku girl right now." Len spat, "It's always 'Me and Miku do this that blah blah blah and I don't even get invited, because it's 'girls only'" he chokes. "We just moved here, and she makes all the friends while I have nothing." he sniffles before he starts to cry.
"Don't cry; I can be your friend." Piko reassures and hugs Len.
"Me too." Flower responds and hugs both of them.
"Thank you, you two are nice." Len replies.
The kids then play in the snow until Len's parents come to pick him up.
Into the new school year, they became inseparable friends.
Flower didn't care about the looks she got by hanging out with her brother and Len because those were the same girls who teased her for her deep voice.
The first time Len hung out at the house, he brought his Game Boy Color, and they all took turns playing until the batteries died.
"What will we do now?" Len sighed in exasperation. "You guys don't have a TV."
"We can play music." Piko responds, "Flower is very good at guitar."
"You can play guitar!?" Len exclaims.
Flower squeaks in surprise, "Only the basics. I'm not that good."
"You're still way better than I am, Flower."
"I want to try!" exclaims Len.
While Flower picked up the guitar pretty fast, Len, in contrast, didn't. Instead, Len sang while the other two played their instruments, not to be left out. At this point, it was starting to resemble basic music but still had a certain roughness to it.
Deep down inside, Flower was a bit jealous of Len because he sang with confidence, not having a care in the world.
She wishes she could join in but thinks they would laugh at her. All those bad memories flood back into her mind.
She didn't even notice the tears running down her cheeks.
Piko and Len notice and immediately stop playing and singing.
"Flower, are you okay?" Piko stammered
"Did we do something wrong?" asked Len
Piko went to comfort his sister and wrapped his arms around her.
"You can tell us what's wrong, Flower." Len reassured
Flower sniffled before responding, "It's dumb. You'll all laugh like they did."
"No we won't." Piko replied.
"I promise I won't laugh," Len assured. "If I do, I will never eat a banana again."
Flower knew Len was serious because even in the short time she has known him, he had an obsession with the yellow fruit, it being his favourite fruit.
"You promise?" She muttered, and they both nodded, "I want to sing."
There was a moment of silence before Len confusedly asked, "Why would anyone laugh at you wanting to sing?"
"My voice, everybody laughs at my voice." meeped Flower.
"Don't worry, everyone is bad at singing at first. You just got to practice!" Len replied with a big smile, "I used to be bad at singing, but now I'm better than my sister!"
"I sound too much like a boy when I sing." responds Flower
"REALLY! THAT'S SUPER COOL! I WANT TO HEAR YOU SING!" Len exclaimed.
Flower was visibly shocked and stammered, "B-But I don't know any songs."
"Don't worry, we can sing to the radio. Do you guys have a radio?" asked Len
"Let me check. I think Miki has a boombox." replies Piko
Piko manages to find Miki's boombox and turned on the radio, and the three of them sang along to the songs on the radio.
"I think you sing good!" remarks Len. "Way better than when I was little."
"Oh, uhh, thank you." Flower replies. She feels warm and fuzzy and flushes a little.
The silence is interrupted by Piko coughing.
"That was amazing." Piko hoarsely croaked before coughing, "What-the, my voice, it sounds like sand."
"What happened to your voice!?" Flower shouted with concern.
"Piko, I think you lost your voice, my mom says drink lots of water, and it will come back in a day or two days." Len replies
The rest of the day went by with Piko playing his keyboard and adding to the radio songs while Flower and Len kept singing. When Len went home, Flower still had those warm fuzzy feelings from earlier.
A few years go by, and their friendship has blossomed. Their occasional hangouts playing music have led to them forming a band. They would also hang out frequently at the ice cream parlour, striking up conversations with the owner Kaito-san, who gave them some pointers and offered to let them play someday at his shop. They were all intrigued by Kaito's stories back when he was a teenage idol, and he even gave them advice.
Sometimes his daughter Miku even joined in their chats at the parlour, and she was really friendly. But Miku hung around rarely, due to her being a teen idol, but when she did, usually Len's twin sister Rin was there as well. It took the effort of all of them to prevent the twins from bickering during conversations.
The first day of 7th grade went by uneventfully, but at the end of the day, when Flower exited the school, she found a boy slightly younger than her who was at the gates, waiting for somebody. When most of the students left, the young blonde-haired boy started crying.
"What's wrong?" Flower asked.
"M-My brother isn't here." he sniffled.
"I'll help you find your-" Flower spoke before a scarred red-haired boy stood between her and the blonde-haired boy and stared at her menacingly.
"What did you do to him!?" the red-haired boy growled.
"My sister did nothing to him. What the hell is your problem?" Piko retorted.
The red-haired boy balling his fists. "Oh, are you now? I know your tricks, pretty boy."
"Fukase they didn't hurt me, I'm trying to find Yohio, but he isn't here like he is supposed to be." responded the blonde-haired boy.
Fukase's face lightened before apologizing to them "Sorry, I just don't want him to get hurt." before lighting up a cigarette and smoking.
"You shouldn't smoke Fukase, it smells bad, and it's not good for you." the blonde-haired boy pipes.
"Relax, Oli, I can stop anytime; let's go find your brother." he replies to the blonde-haired boy before asking them, "Y'all tagging along?"
"I'm going." Piko replies before gesturing at Flower to go home.
"I'll come along too." Flower responds.
Thus Flower and Piko met the final two members of what they would later dub the Meme Squad, Fukase, and Oliver. A motley group of misfit friends who have a relatively successful band.
Since all of them did not have a cellphone, they searched for some time before giving up. As they sat on some steps, Flower had an idea, going to the Kaito's parlour so that Oliver could call his parents.
Once at the parlour, Kaito managed to get ahold of Oliver's parents.
In the meantime, they chatted over ice cream.
"Apologies, I just don't trust very easily, usually when people approach Oli, they make fun of his lack of an eye. So I keep them away, usually with my fists." Fukase says.
"I find that yelling at them is better." Flower responds.
Fukase cracks his knuckles "Yeah, but they never learn their lesson if you don't get your hands dirty."
"Not to be rude or anything, but Oliver, how did you lose your eye?" Piko inquired.
"Some boys poked me in the eye with a stick while playing war games at school." Oliver deadpanned, "When I came home, and Yohio and Fukase saw me, I had to go to the hospital."
"And I taught those kids a lesson," Fukase exclaimed.
"I had my eye removed look." Oliver lifts his white eyepatch revealing an empty eyesocket where his left eye was.
Fukase reminisced, "Ever since that, Yohio asked me to protect him. I've gotten into more fights than I can count, and well I guess I don't need to be tutored by Yohio anymore because I'm not going to amount to anything."
"You don't have to be smart to be something." Piko states, "I don't need to be that brainy to make music."
"Just because your life isn't that good now, it'll be better in the future." Flower added.
Fukase replies, "Thanks I needed to hear that pretty boy annnd you. I never quite caught your names."
"I'm Flower. That pretty boy is my brother Piko." Flower responds. Piko flushes at that nickname. "Fukase and Oliver, right?"
"Yeah," Fukase replied.
Oliver's parents soon arrived and picked him up.
Fukase and Oliver became fast friends with the rest of the group and eventually joined the band.
In the band, Fukase is the drummer, Flower plays the electric guitar, Piko plays the synth, Len is the vocalist and singer, and Oliver plays the saxophone.
Flower, now 14, reflects on these past few years. Last year was exciting and nervous, performing in front of an audience for the first time and the bombshell revelation that she was actually Piko and Miki's biological half-sister sharing a father this entire time.
Her feelings toward Len have also grown over these past few years. However, the fact that Len lusts over most of the girls he meets has her left feeling insecure about herself. She bottles up these feelings and doesn't even feel like a girl for some periods of time.
On those particular days, Flower wishes that he had a boyish body that would match his voice and sometimes even wore his brother's clothes.
It also didn't help that he was at the height of puberty, the hormones were not helping, and he felt dysphoric in his own body due to puberty.
Suddenly, it all leaves, and Flower feels absolutely fine in her own body. The periods sucked, though, as it felt like her insides were searing on a frying pan.
The clothing she swore she never would wear again looks cute again, and she starts wearing them again, like that black dress she loved, and when she looks in the mirror she doesn't feel like wanting a boyish body. Strange, she thought, must be all the bullying and the hormones she thought.
About a week later, all these thoughts came rushing back to Flower. Yearning for a less feminine body, feeling like ants were crawling under his skin when he wore that same dress that a week earlier he thought was cute.
The Meme Squad took notice, her brother Piko especially, but Flower just brushed it off as side effects of his period.
Then, as sudden as these thoughts came, they left again, this time when she was trying to sleep. "Why was she like this?" She thought, "Is there something wrong with me?" She thought, staring at the roof of her unlit room, only dimly lit by the streetlights outside her window. "Is it because of those bullies back then?"
Thoughts flooded her mind, and she could no longer sleep. She checks the alarm clock. It reads 11:47 PM. She sighs before going downstairs to get some water, maybe to clear her mind. She tiptoes downstairs and grabs a glass, before downing it. She turns around to head back to bed before suddenly being greeted by her brother looking at her. "You've gotta tell me what's wrong, Flower. I'm worried about you." Piko spoke quietly.
Flower pulls a chair and sits at the dinner table, dimly lit by the kitchen lights. "I don't know, I just keep getting these thoughts, but I'm afraid it would get me kicked out by mom."
"Flower, whatever thoughts you might think, mom won't kick you out, and even if she did, I would go with you, and same with Miki." Piko pauses, thinking for a bit "If it's about being gay, don't worry, I came out to mom a few weeks ago and she was okay with it." Piko blushes "Y'know I've been dating Fukase for a week and a half now."
Piko looks at Flower again "But you've gotta tell me what's wrong, Flo I can't help you without knowing what's making you, my sister feel down."
Flower takes a deep breath. "I'm afraid you'll make fun of me. It's all stupid anyways."
"It's not stupid, it's dragging you down, and I'm here to help." Piko replies, "Remember when you were insecure about your voice? I'm not gonna make fun of you, and while we tease each other sometimes, you're still my awesome sister."
"It's okay." Piko reassures.
"Do you promise not to tell anyone."
"Swear to god, hope to die." Piko replies.
And so Flower tells Piko about her thoughts, the sudden dysphoria, and all the things that made Flower feel different from one week to the next. How she felt broken. Flower braces for Piko's response.
Piko ponders before responding, "There's nothing wrong with you, Flower, and you aren't broken. When I found out I was gay, I searched online for a bunch of terms related to the LGBTQIA+ community. I think you might be genderfluid, and there's nothing wrong with that."
"You're still an awesome sibling regardless." Piko finishes.
It feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off of Flower's shoulders. She isn't alone and isn't broken, and she finally has the words to describe her thoughts and feelings. She suddenly snapped out of her thoughts "You there, Flower?" Piko meeped.
"Uhh, yeah." She pauses, "Thank you, Piko." before crushing her brother in the biggest hug.
"Oh yeah, and don't tell anyone."
"I won't. You'll tell them when you're ready, right?"
"I don't know."
"It's okay."
Three weeks later
In a week or so, they were about to perform on the big stage. Flower couldn't stop thinking about it, they were finally about to perform on a real, big theatre stage to people watching. Their first few songs did pretty well, and Kaito-san's wife, Meiko a famous singer, pulled some strings to get it sold in the entire prefecture and arranged the stage.
Flower was enjoying some mango ice cream from the parlour when his phone rang. It was strange because normally when the meme squad talked, it was through a group chat. He looked at who was calling, and it was his brother Piko.
"Hello?"
"Bad news, Flower, Len got sick."
"WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I know. His voice sounds like sandpaper right now."
There is a pause as Piko hands the phone to Len.
"H-Hey Flower." rasped Len before coughing a few times.
This was not good. The only singer of the Meme Squad was sick and possibly could jeopardize the performance.
"What do we do!?" Flower asked.
"I believe in you," Len coughed "You can sing in my place."
"B-But I'm not that good at singing."
"Yes, you are," Len coughed out.
Piko takes the phone back from Len.
"You're singing now, alright you're our only hope."
"But what about the guitar."
"I think I can get Miki to fill in for you, it's gonna be okay."
Flower overhears the sound of vomiting.
"Gotta go help clean this up, bye Flower."
"WAIT WAIT-" Flower shouts, but the call has already ended. He tries to call his brother again, but it goes unanswered.
Flower decides to head to the Kagamines. When he arrives, frankly, Len looked like shit. Len had a mask on, and there was a bowl with some vomit in it.
"I can't sing!" Flower shouted.
"Yes, you can," Len rasped.
"Can't you sing Piko?" Flower pleaded.
"I don't think I can do it; puberty and voice cracks and all that."
Flower stares at Fukase. "Hey, I only know how to hit things. I'm not good with words." Fukase responds. "Sides I smoke I can't sing."
"But they'll laugh at me!" Flower pleaded again.
"No, they wouldn't because the audience are not children." Piko retorts
"If they did, I'll punch 'em all." Fukase growled.
After some more coercion by Piko and Fukase, Flower finally folds.
Flower breathes and sighs "Alright, alright, I'll do it."
By the end of the day, Flower couldn't sleep. He was terrified that he would have to sing and hoped that in a week's time, he'd be back to a she so that Flower could wear their signature black dress without dysphoria. He was even more terrified about the audience's reaction to the fact that he was singing.
He also feared the reaction of Len if he fucked this opportunity up. He might not like him anymore, and the band could even disband, and Flower could lose his friendship with Len.
He curled up into his blankets and couldn't sleep that night.