Chapter Text
The headlights illuminate the room causing Alan to sit up in bed. He’s staring at the glass door, his heart bounding in his chest. Was this it? Could he still stop Sam from killing Elias or was the psycho going to do it? Alan put on his glasses and moved to the right side of the bed. He was startled when he looked at the glass door again, this time Sam was standing there staring at him. What must be going through the young murderes mind?
Alan felt uneasy under the other’s intense glare. Maybe him going to see his ex wasn’t the best idea, Alan thought bitterly. What was he going to do now? How could he sway Sam to not kill Elias? There has to be something more. Something he hadn’t thought of yet.
When Sam finally opened the door, he didn’t say a word. He just walked over to the far wall and plugged the white noise machine in again. Alan assumed because he didn’t want Elias to hear what was being said about him. Sam walked back over to the glass door and closed it. “Why did you make me go there?” Sam said at last, his back toward Alan.
Alan was surprised by the sudden abrupt question. “Did it help?”
Sam turned around, clearly frowning. “She has a new lover. It seems she’s moved on with her life.”
“I…I…I didn’t know,” Alan said stumbling over his words.
“I need to do it now.” Sam snarled, heading for the door.
Alan jumped to his feet, rushing forward he was able to reach Sam’s arm. He spun the younger man toward him and said, “You don’t have to do this. We can figure this out, Sam. Please, don’t do this.”
“But, he deserves it.”
“And you deserve better. You are better. We both know it. Look, I am proud of you for lasting so long and I know you can make it just a little bit longer.”
Sam shifted from one foot to other. It seemed Alan had struck some kind of nerve, but what he wasn’t for sure.
“You’re…proud of me?” Sam’s voice was small.
“Yes, Sam. I am.” It was then Alan realized that with Sam being abused by his father that he never got the chance to hear any sort of validation from a father figure. It was a foreign concept for the younger man. However, Alan wasn’t expecting for Sam’s full demeanor to shift toward him.
Sam started to walk toward Alan, causing the older man to walk backwards.
“Sam…” Alan said worriedly, holding up his hands. “What are you…Sam.” Alan’s back hit the wall. He felt like a fly caught in the spiders’ web. What was he going to do?
Sam placed a hand on either side of Alan’s head and leaned into his personal space. The primal look in the younger man’s gaze was intense, focused. It was really unnerving to Alan. For a moment they just stood there staring at one another. Alan was too afraid to move or speak. He didn’t want to upset Sam anymore than he already had. Looking into the madman’s eyes he study Sam for a moment. The younger man’s pupils looked dilated. It took Alan’s brain an embracing minute longer than it should have to realize what that meant.
However, when he did panic set in. Sam looked like he wanted to devour him whole. “Sam, whatever you’re thinking right now. Whatever is about to happen…I don’t want you to go through with it. Okay? Do you hear me?”
Sam’s breathing grew heavier. He started to move his body forward, while his gaze never wavered.
“Sam, please don’t. This will ruin the patient and therapist dynamic between us,” Alan pleaded.
Sam stopped, even though his body was now pressed against the older man’s.
Alan cringed. He could feel Sam’s excitement pressing against his thigh. Oh God no. “Sam, listen to me. What you’re feeling right now. It’s not real. As your psychiatrist patients can sometime project feelings onto them because they never received any validation. It’s called transference.”
“It feels pretty real to me,” Sam whispered. He pulled his hands in to cup the older man’s face.
Alan let out a shaking breath. “This isn’t the way.”
“You said we could try anything to redirect my compulsion. When I go see my ex, she usually gives me what I need but this time…she refused me.” He began to run his thumbs along the older man’s jaw line. He didn’t think he’d like the feel of the beard but he believed he could grow to like it.
Alan’s legs felt weak. He wanted to drop to floor. But, with Sam holding his face between his hands, it wouldn’t be possible. “I’m sure there is someone else, anyone else better than me that would be willing to…” he was cut off by Sam’s fingers exploring his facial hair. He wanted it to stop but he didn’t know how.
Sam shakes his head. “It doesn’t work like that, Doc. I have to have…I have to care…” his words trailed off then, unsure of how to explain it.
Christ, he believes he has feeling for me, Alan thought bitterly. “Sam, this is wrong. You have to see that. I have to make you see that.” He closed his eyes, feeling so helpless. How could he make a murderer see that what he was doing was forced? Not to mention Alan’s never been with a man. Hell, its never even crossed his mind. “Sam, these feelings…they aren’t real.”
Sam narrowed his eyes. He looked genially hurt. “Then I must do it.” Sam turned and headed for the door.
Alan only had one choice to make here to make sure Elias didn’t die. It was the only thing he could think of doing. He grabbed Sam’s arm and pulled him back towards him. Their bodies pressing together once more, Alan took Sam’s face in his hands and crushed their lips together in a bruising kiss. It threw Sam completely off guard and he just stood there like a deer in the headlights. When Alan pulled away he was just as surprised as Sam. But, it seemed to have worked.
Sam pressed his forehead against Alan’s. “I thought…you said it was wrong…” Sam said at last, his voice almost a whisper.
“I considered it and realized you were right. It may help to curve your compulsion” Alan replied, his voice sounds just as small.
Sam pulled back and narrowed his eyes. “You only did it so I wouldn’t kill him.”
Alan shook his head. “No. I mean, I won’t lie to you, Sam. It is part of it but it seems that s-sex may be what you need into order to curve this.”
Sam lifted his hand and began to gently stroke the older man’s cheek. It caused Alan to flinch away from the touch. Sam frowned. “How can it work if you’re afraid of my touch?”
Alan had to think. It wasn’t like something he could just jump into. He needed some time to work up to it. “Sam, I’ve never…I’ve only ever been with my wife. This is new for me. I need time.”
“I don’t think he has time,” Sam said bluntly, pointing to the door behind him.
Alan swallowed hard. “I just need a few hours. That’s all I ask.”
Sam looked like he was contemplating something. “Alright, 2 hours, but I will be back then. It’s either you or him.”
Alan nodded. Not saying anything more.
Sam turned and headed for the door.
“Can you turn off the white noise machine, please,” Alan asked.
Sam stopped. He looked back at Alan with that predatory glare again. The one that made Alan’s knees want to buckle. Sam didn’t say anything when he turned back around and opened the sliding glass door. He took one step outside when Alan rushed forward to the end of his chain.
“Sam, please,” Alan pleaded.
Sam looked back at him again. The younger man’s face almost seemed unreadable but Alan had been around him long enough to know he was battling something. “Could I kiss you again?” Sam asked softly.
Alan was taken aback by this. “Y-You want to k-kiss me again…”
“Yes,” Sam replied, taking a step closer toward the older man. “I will unplug the machine only if you kiss me again.”
Alan didn’t like this. It was almost blackmail. However, it wasn’t like Alan was in a situation to say no. The younger man was much strong than him and Sam could dominate him if he so wish too. So, why wasn’t he? “You can’t except that every time I ask for something, you get something in return, Sam. That’s not how affection works. That’s not how trust works.”
“I know,” Sam said, looking down at his feet. “I just really want too.”
That surprised Alan. He really didn’t see this heading in his favor but if he could get the younger man to care for him. Then maybe that was his ticket out of this. One step at a time, he thought to himself. “Alright Sam, if we do, then you must unplug the machine and give me 2 hours, okay?”
Sam smiled at him. “It’s a deal.” He moved forward until he was standing before Alan. He wanted to press his body into him but somehow kept himself from doing so.
Alan could see the frustration in the young man. How he was battling his inner demons. It seemed he wanted Alan to take the lead. Alan hesitantly lifted his arms and wrapped them around the younger man’s waist, pulling him against his body.
Sam let out and involuntary moan as he ran his hands through Alan’s unwashed hair. “Maybe later I can let you take a shower?” He said softly.
“I’d like that,” Alan replied. Not sure how he’d feel being naked in front of this man. It was one thing to just kiss. He could shrug it off but anything further than that he was sure he’d never be able to come back from. But, the thought of being off the chain made him a little hopeful about escaping.
Suddenly, Alan’s attention was shifted when he felt Sam leaning down. He’d hoped for another bruising kiss because that was easier to deal with mentally. It wasn’t romantic in any form. But, this time no such luck. When Sam pressed his lips against Alan’s, it was gentle, soft, and strangely inviting. It was the first time in days that Alan had any sort of human contact and it felt nice. Fuck, he thought to himself. What the hell? This is a clear case of Stockholm Syndrome. Pull away. Alan went to pull back but Sam pulled him tighter against him. He bit Alan’s bottom lip which caused the older man to yelp. It was then that Sam made his move and forced his way into Alan’s mouth, exploring every part of it he could. Alan was trying to push him away but he wasn’t strong enough. So, after another few moments he gave up. He just stood there letting Sam violate his mouth.
Another minute passed and Sam finally pulled away, both men gasping for air. “That was…huh…yeah…I’m going to…” Sam pointed toward the sliding glass door.
It took Alan a moment to find his voice. “Sam, are you forgetting something?” Alan asked.
Sam hit his forehead in a duh like manner and walked over to the white noise machine. He unplugged it at Alan’s requested. “Do you need anything else?”
Alan shook his head. “I’m fine, thank you.”
Sam nodded and headed for the door once more. “I’ll bring dinner back. It’ll be something really good.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Alan replied, trying a smile. He needed to make a little effort if his plan to get the younger man to trust him was going to succeed. It just had to work.
Sam smiled back at him before leaving the room.
When the headlights were no longer in sight and he was left alone, Alan sat down on the edge of the bed. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. What the fuck was he going to do now? Was he really thinking about letting a psychotic murderer have sex with him to save another man’s life? Was that in fact the only way? And what if it didn’t work? What if Sam just kills them both? At this point, what did he have to lose?
“Hello? Are you there?”
“Yes, Elias. I’m here.”
“Is he gone?”
“For now, yes, but he will be back shortly,” Alan said.
“Have you figured out how to get free?” Elias asked.
“I believe so but it kind of comes with a price,” Alan replied bitterly.
“If…if it comes down to it. You should just leave me here. Go for help.”
“I don’t want to leave you, Elias. If I leave you behind he’ll…”
“I know,” Elias interrupted, his voice sounding very shaky. “I’m very weak, my body aches, and I doubt I’ll be able to walk. I think you’ll have a better chance if you save yourself." There was brief moment of silence. "Please, Alan. Please promise me that.”
Alan started to tear up. How could he promise such a thing? He didn’t want the man to die. He would blame himself. No, there had to be a way to save them both. “I don’t know if I can promise that, Elias.”
“You have too. Please.”
Alan felt his chest tighten as a lump formed in his throat. He wanted to cry and throw things. This whole situation was fucked up.
“Alan?”
Alan sighed heavily. It couldn’t hurt to lie to the man, could it? He knew Elias lost hope but he still had to believe he could save him. There had to be a way. There just had to be. “Alright, Elias, I promise.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Elias replied weakly.
Alan just stared at the door. He wished he could comfort him. The man hadn’t eaten and he was sure he had shit and pissed all over himself. At least Alan had a little mobility. “Do you have any hobbies?” But, no answer came. “Elias, are you okay?” Nothing. Alan stood to his feet, his brow furrowed. “Elias, can you say something please?” Still no answer. Alan hoped he’d just passed out. With the man being so weak Alan hoped that’s the case. With a sigh he walked back over to the bed and laid down. When his head hit the pillow he looked up at the ceiling. “I promise,” he murmured softly before closing his eyes, thinking about Sam. “It’s him or me.”