Chapter 1: The Black Brothers
Notes:
barty goes to hogwarts
evan rosier has a pretty laugh
regulus black is delightfully rude and grumpy
sirius black is beautiful and terrifying
honorable mentions to our girl dorcas and our queen minnie as wellwarnings for this chapter:
-a character gets outed sort of?? like not really idk go to the end notes if you want an explanationand that's pretty much it we're starting light xx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Barty’s Hogwarts letter arrived in the middle of the night, during a raging thunderstorm. He had been having a spectacularly disastrous day, even more so than usual, which only worsened when the owl carrying the letter all but launched itself at his bedroom window, shattering it on impact and showering a thoroughly irritated Barty with shards of glass and rainwater.
“Bloody bird,” he muttered under his breath as he grabbed the letter with one hand and attempted to cover the gaping hole in the windowpane with the other. He knew his father would be less than pleased when he found out, but that man was never pleased anyway, so he couldn’t bring himself to care very much.
Barty’s mood improved considerably, however, when he noticed the unmistakable seal on the back of the envelope. He eagerly tore it open, already knowing the contents of the letter but wanting to see it anyway. It read:
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Mr. Crouch,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.
Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall,
Deputy Headmistress
Barty clutched the letter in his hands, holding on to it like a lifeline. He was going to Hogwarts. He was going to get out of this prison of a house and spend ten months away from his wretched father. He muffled a whoop of joy into his fist, careful not to wake anyone.
Grinning widely, he grabbed the owl and ruffled its feathers, momentarily forgetting his aversion to birds. Even the broken window and the growing puddle on the floor seemed insignificant now.
He was going to Hogwarts. He would be free.
-----
People-watching had always been one of Barty’s favourite activities. After finally settling down in an empty compartment, he pressed his face to the window and began to observe the crowd on the platform. Everyone blended together, dozens upon dozens of perfectly ordinary people. Every once in a while, something stood out. A flash of bright red hair, a ridiculously tall hat, a rogue owl flying around…
As Barty started to lose interest, a group of newcomers caught his attention. It was a family of four; a regally beautiful woman with cold, dead eyes, a tall man who looked extremely bored, and two children. One of them was slightly taller and had longer hair. He was also the most beautiful person Barty had ever laid eyes on. He carried himself with the same effortless grace as his parents, but he had his arms crossed like a petulant child and was pointedly ignoring them. The other child, his younger brother, Barty assumed, looked absolutely terrified. He was nervously tapping his foot on the ground and kept shooting frantic glances toward his brother which the latter either didn’t notice or purposely ignored.
Barty knew who they were from the moment he laid eyes on them. Everyone in the wizarding world knew of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Walburga Black, a cruel, vicious, vindictive woman. Orion Black, an alcoholic with no interest in his wife or children. Sirius Black, the troublesome heir whose only goal in life seemed to be to disappoint his parents. And finally, the youngest. Barty recalled hearing about a daughter but considering that the child looked very much like a boy, he assumed he had misunderstood. No one knew anything about the cadet yet. People talked, of course. They wondered what kind of person he would grow up to be. Would he honor the traditions of the House of Black and make his family proud? Would he follow in his brother’s footsteps instead?
Barty had heard all kinds of things about the Blacks from his father, none of them good. He had never personally met any of them, but he knew one thing for sure: if there was one thing Barty could do that would be sure to disappoint Bartemius Crouch Senior., it was to befriend a Black. So that was exactly what he would do.
Barty refocused his attention on the family. Walburga had leaned down and she was whispering something to her sons. Sirius looked supremely disinterested, but he had gone a shade paler. His brother, on the other hand, was visibly distressed. He managed to keep his composure, but he looked like he was about to faint, or throw up, or both. Walburga straightened out and fixed her eldest son with a final glare before turning on her heel and walking away, Orion following behind her.
The minute his parents left, the young boy reached out and grabbed his brother’s hand almost reflexively. Sirius’ head whipped toward him, and his brow immediately furrowed in concern.
Barty lost interest after that and turned away. He still couldn’t believe he would be completely free for the better part of a year. He pictured himself running through the halls after class, lounging around in the common room, learning all kinds of sick hexes…
He was so caught up in his fantasy that it took him a minute to notice the boy standing in the entrance to the compartment looking rather awkward. He had a mop of fluffy blonde hair and warm brown eyes that looked almost yellow in the sunlight. His clothes were baggy and hung loosely on his slight frame. He seemed nice enough.
Barty flashed the boy a crooked grin and gestured to the bench across from him. He held out his hand as the blonde made his way into the compartment.
“I’m Evan. Evan Rosier,” the boy introduced himself, shaking the hand that Barty had offered.
“Barty. How’s it going?”
Evan shrugged. “Alright, I guess. Can’t wait to be away from my family for a long time.”
Barty grinned again and nodded. “Yeah, I get it. I’m so happy to finally be getting away from my bloody father.”
Evan laughed, then, and Barty couldn’t help but smile at the way his dimples appeared and his whole face lit up. He momentarily considered saying something stupid to make him laugh again, but he was interrupted by the sound of voices outside the compartment.
“–don’t want to sit with you and your sodding mates! You’re not my keeper, Sirius, I can make friends on my own.”
“Why are you being so bloody difficult? I’m just trying to look out for you!”
“I don’t need you to look out for me! I’m not like you, okay? So just go find your mudblood and blood-traitor friends and leave me alone!”
There was a beat of silence before Sirius’ voice was heard again, low and cold.
“What the fuck did you just say, Reggie?”
“You heard me.”
Silence again. Then, a derisive snort.
“Fine, then. Get out of my fucking sight. I don’t want to see you until Christmas.”
Barty and Evan both had their ears pressed against the glass at this point, thoroughly invested in the argument. They waited for a moment, but the conversation seemed to be over. A few seconds later, a figure stormed into the corridor and the door to the compartment was aggressively thrown open.
The youngest Black stood panting in the doorway, warily appraising an amused Barty and an equally amused – though better at tactfully hiding it – Evan. He quickly schooled his features into a mask of cool indifference and knocked rather belatedly.
“I don’t suppose you have room for another?” he drawled, raising an eyebrow questioningly. His voice was surprisingly smooth and melodic when he wasn’t yelling, and his accent sounded vaguely French.
Barty nodded and invited him in, seizing the chance to befriend him.
“Well, Baby Black, it’s nice to meet you.” Evan began, grinning lazily. “I’m Evan, and this is Barty. You had quite the row out there with your brother, didn’t you?”
The boy’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t call me Baby Black,” he hissed angrily, “My name is Regulus Arcturus Black. And were you eavesdropping?”
Barty shrugged nonchalantly, still grinning. “That we were. But don’t worry, I really don’t give a shit about your family issues. Though I do enjoy drama, I let you in here because my father would be absolutely revolted if he learnt that I was befriending the likes of you.”
His mask slipped for a second and he looked confused. “You want to befriend me because… It would disappoint your father?”
“Exactly,” Barty confirmed, smirking, “The old man would lose his mind if he saw me talking to a Black, and, let’s just say that making Bartemius Crouch Senior lose his mind is kind of my thing.”
This successfully made the corner of Regulus’ lips twitch, and Barty smiled wider, considering it a win.
That is, until Regulus asked, “Wait, your name is Bartemius?”
Evan cackled.
Barty scowled and glared at them pointedly. “Barty. My name is Barty. Besides, your name is Regulus Arcturus, so I really don’t see how you can make fun of mine.”
Barty half expected him to get offended, but he laughed instead. His laugh was even brighter than Evan’s. It was extremely contagious too, and soon, the three boys were laughing so hard their stomachs hurt and tears streamed down their faces.
It was a great start.
-----
“D’you reckon I’ll get into Gryffindor?”
“I’ve heard Dumbledore’s a proper nutcase…”
“My sister says Potions is really difficult.”
The entrance hall echoed with the sounds of the first-years’ excited whispers. Barty, Evan, and Regulus pushed their way through the crowd, trying to get as close to the large oak doors as possible. Fortunately, everyone gave Regulus a wide berth and quieted down as he walked past with his head held high, and the other two got the same treatment by association.
Just as Barty began to wonder how long they were going to wait, Professor McGonagall stepped out into the hall, the great oak doors closing behind her with a flourish.
Minerva McGonagall was an intimidating woman. She wasted no time with introductions, simply assuming everyone already knew who she was – which they did. She quickly explained the sorting process and the traits of each house before walking back into the Great Hall and gesturing to the students to follow.
She made her way to the far end and stood next to the Sorting Hat, picking up a list of names. The chatter quickly died down as she cleared her throat and began listing names in alphabetical order. When she reached the letter “B”, she was interrupted rather loudly.
“MINNIE!”
All heads turned to the Gryffindor table, where Sirius Black had jumped to his feet and was making his way toward the staff table. He walked right up to McGonagall and threw his arms around her rather dramatically, and Barty thought he saw him whisper something in her ear. To everyone’s surprise (and several people’s disappointment) the professor did not push Sirius away or give him detention on the very first evening – that would have been a record, even for the likes of Sirius Black – she actually hugged him back easily before sending him back to his seat. She then continued as if nothing had happened.
“Now, where was I? Ah yes. Regulus Black.”
Barty turned to grin at Regulus and push him forward, but he paused at the expression on his face. He looked simultaneously confused and furious. Before he could read more into it, Regulus had already walked up to the hat and placed it on his head. The hat deliberated silently for several long minutes. Barty glanced at the Gryffindor table where Sirius was white-knuckling his goblet in anticipation.
“Slytherin!” the hat finally declared, and Barty did not miss Regulus’ sigh of relief or the vaguely guilty look he shot his brother as he sat down at the Slytherin table.
Before he could think about it too much, McGonagall called out his name and Evan shoved him forward.
He stepped up to the stool and placed the hat on his head, wondering briefly where he would end up, but the hat did not hesitate for even a moment before shouting, “Slytherin!”
Barty imagined what his father’s reaction would be when he found out. He threw his head back and laughed at the thought as he made his way over to the table where his housemates were cheering.
He dropped down onto the bench beside Regulus and saved a seat on his other side for Evan. There were two people sitting across from him, a girl and a boy. Barty immediately disliked the boy. He had stringy black hair and a perpetually disdainful expression his face. The girl, on the other hand, seemed nice enough. Her long dark hair was styled in braids, and she flicked it carelessly over her shoulder while carrying an animated conversation with Regulus.
When she noticed Barty, she turned to him and extended her hand. "Dorcas Meadowes," she introduced herself, grinning widely.
Barty returned the smile and shook her hand. "Barty Crouch Junior. I see you've met Baby Black, then. I'm surprised you managed to have a proper conversation, he was quite rude to me, actually." he grinned, nudging Regulus fondly.
The latter simply shoved him away and grumbled under his breath, “Don’t call me Baby Black.”
The three of them fell into easy conversation after that, and Barty decided that he really liked Dorcas, a decision based mostly on the fact that she adored Queen as much as he did. She also seemed to enjoy teasing Regulus, which had become Barty’s favourite hobby in the short time he’d known him. And they all had shitty father figures. Always a great thing to bond over.
Eventually, Evan was sorted into Slytherin, and Barty patted the seat next to him as he approached. Evan introduced himself to Dorcas and inserted himself into the conversation with ease. Barty thought that was rather admirable. Then, Regulus said something in Dorcas’ ear, and she nearly choked on her water laughing, making the rest of them laugh along with her. Barty didn’t think of his father for the rest of the night.
-----
The Slytherin common room was gorgeous. Barty would have preferred it to be somewhere nicer than the dungeons, but really, he wasn’t complaining.
Barty, Evan, and Regulus settled into one of the dorms along with a short blonde boy called Thomas Burton. Fortunately, he seemed to want to have nothing to do with them and left immediately after quickly putting his things down on the bed by the window.
Barty and Evan chattered easily while unpacking, and Barty decided then that he and Evan would be good friends someday. He thought he and Regulus could be great friends, too, but Regulus was… different. He hadn’t said a word since the feast had ended, and he had been jittery and anxious all night. Eventually, he just got up to leave.
“I need to have a word with my brother,” he announced bluntly, gesturing to the door. “You guys get some rest, don’t wait for me.”
Barty immediately jumped to his feet, intrigued. “What do have to say to your brother that’s so urgent?”
Regulus shot him an annoyed glare. “Nothing that concerns you, Crouch.”
That only sparked his interest more. “Oh, come on, don’t be like that. Can I come? I promise I won’t bother you. Evan said he was going to bed, and I don’t exactly want to sit here and wait for Tim Burger or whatever his name was to come back.”
Barty fully expected Regulus to scoff and tell him to fuck off, but instead he just shrugged reluctantly. “Fine. But not a word, okay?” He suddenly looked nervous again, maybe even shy.
Barty nodded eagerly and followed him to the Gryffindor common room, calling out a quick goodnight to Evan on his way out.
The Gryffindor common room was significantly more welcoming than the Slytherin one. Brighter, warmer, happier, obnoxious decorations in the house colours, a roaring fireplace. Barty wasn’t sure if he loved it or hated it.
Fortunately, Sirius was rather easy to locate, considering that he and his friends were pretty much the only source of noise in the room and that there was a large group of awestruck students gathered around them.
Regulus sighed and started forward, carelessly shoving his way through the crowd. Ignoring the questioning looks and murmurs of the group, he stepped right up to his brother and cleared his throat. “Sirius, a word.” He critically eyed two young boys who were snickering obnoxiously and added, “In private.”
Sirius did not look pleased. “How did you get the password?” he demanded.
“Some guy in your year gave it to me, Frank Longbottom, I think.”
Frank looked up from his book and shot them a guilty look.
Sirius clicked his tongue in disapproval and turned dramatically to the girl next to him. “Alice, you are now my favourite. Right,” he continued, refocusing his attention on Regulus and Barty, “let’s go to the dorms then, shall we? And make it quick, I’m in the middle of a conversation here.”
He grabbed Regulus’ arm and turned to leave. Barty made to follow, but Sirius stopped him and raised a questioning eyebrow. “And who are you? I believe Reggie said in private.”
“It’s fine, Sirius,” Regulus said, though he looked slightly green, “He can stay.”
Sirius did not look convinced, but he chose not to say anything. Instead, he just led them to the dorm and closed the door before turning to his brother.
“What do you want?”
“You know exactly what I want, Sirius, I’d rather not go into detail right now,” Regulus responded, shooting a quick glance toward Barty.
Sirius snorted. “I did you a favour, Reggie. Why are you angry?”
“I don’t need any favours from you! I didn’t ask for your help, and I certainly didn’t ask you to make a scene in front of the entire school! What did you say to McGonagall, then? Did you tell her about me? Because that’s not your fucking right, Sirius!”
Barty had little to no idea what he was talking about, but Sirius looked genuinely hurt for a second.
“No, of course not. I wouldn’t do that, you know I wouldn’t. I just told her they made a mistake on the list. That’s all. Despite what you might want to believe, I’m not a monster, Reggie. I really was just trying to help. Sorry if I shouldn’t have.” He looked down at his shoes, and Regulus sighed.
“No, it’s…” he grimaced as if it were physically painful for him to get the words out. “Thank you. Just… ask me next time before you try to help, okay?”
Sirius nodded and gave him a small smile, and Barty was pretty sure he was witnessing an important moment, except he had no idea what was going on.
“Okay, what the bloody fuck are we talking about?” he blurted out finally.
The brothers shared a glance and had a silent conversation in the way only siblings could. Fortunately, Barty had always been rather good at reading body language, and it seemed to go something along the lines of:
“Can I tell him?”
A hesitant look from Regulus.
“Do you want to tell him?”
More hesitation.
“You don’t have to do anything, obviously, but I mean, you brought him along, didn’t you?”
A little more hesitation, then a reluctant nod. “Yeah, it’s fine, go ahead.”
“Are you sure?”
Another nod.
Sirius finally turned to Barty and eyed him up and down. Despite the brothers’ clearly complicated relationship, Barty could tell that Sirius was fiercely protective of Regulus, and that made him rather intimidating.
“I’m gonna tell you something about Reggie now,” he said, his voice low and menacing, “And if you dare to be an intolerant shit about it, I’ll rip off your dick and shove it so far up your arse it’ll come back out your mouth.”
Barty gulped and nodded, too wary to make one of his signature smartass remarks about how there was in fact no tube connecting the arsehole to the mouth.
“As you know,” Sirius continued normally, as if he hadn’t just threatened to emasculate Barty, “This here is my brother, Regulus Arcturus Black. He is a boy, just the same as you and me, he was just…ah, put in the wrong body, shall we say? So, yes, Reggie is a boy, but he was born a girl.”
Barty wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. He had heard of people like that, of course, transgenders, he believed they were called, though his father liked to group everyone different into a single category called “bloody queers”. If he was being honest, Barty didn’t give a shit that Regulus was transgender. Sure, it was a bit confusing, but it didn’t really affect him in any way, did it?
“Oh. Well, alright then,” he responded simply, shrugging.
Sirius blinked. “That’s- That’s it?”
“Yeah, I mean, what difference does it make to me? If he wants to be a boy, that’s his business. So, he has tits. Big deal.”
Regulus looked extremely shocked by his nonchalance.
“Uh, okay. Well, that’s settled. Do you… have any questions?”
“Nah, not really. But, Sirius, if I may, that stunt you pulled in the Great Hall was rather stupid now that I know the context.”
Both of the brothers looked confused.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I assume your parents don’t know you’re transgender, right? I mean, no offence, but they don’t exactly seem like the most progressive people.”
Sirius snorted.
“So,” Barty continued, “They’re bound to have heard from someone that their ‘daughter’ is being referred to as Regulus Black by now, aren’t they?”
Regulus and Sirius paled and glanced at each other.
“Shit.”
Notes:
okay HI. starting off already by setting up the black brothers' relationship. yes it's actually pretty good for the most part especially towards the end of the chapter, but i'm telling you already, Don't Get Your Hopes Up. (that's pretty much the motto for this whole fic actually. don't forget that it's canon compliant) it's only the beginning and their relationship really does mostly just go downhill after the first year or so (THERE ARE STILL SOME GOOD MOMENTS THEYRE JUST FEW AND FAR BETWEEN). second of all let's talk about barty for a second considering he's like yk the Main Character and stuff. in case i didn't make it clear enough, this man has SEVERE Daddy Issues. i wanted to establish that really early (like literally in the first two lines lmao) because it's going to be a really important theme through barty's whole life (unfortunately) so yeah our boy has trauma. he's an icon though fr he really decided to be friends with regulus just to piss off his dad KING SHIT!! also him literally not giving a fuck that regulus is trans?? i love him. AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT SIRIUS?? mr protective older brother?? literally threatening to shove bartys dick up his ass?? he's so?? my husband?? i'm so in love with him?? okay moving on yes we will be meeting more of the marauders in the next chapter and we will also be meeting (surprise surprise) walburga and orion (ew).
ik the end notes are really long and i'm sorry about that i swear they'll get shorter but let me just quickly expand on the warning at the beginning. so basically regulus comes out to barty (or sirius does it for him) and barty remarks that walburga and orion have probably already found out about him calling himself regulus so yeah he doesn't exactly get outed in THIS chapter but it's insinuated in the end that shit is gonna go down with his parents in the next chapter.
Chapter 2: Walburga Black
Notes:
this is a short one i apologize, the next one will be longer.
warnings for the chapter:
- transphobic language (courtesy of the lovely walburga black ofc)
- verbal child abuse (walburga again)
if you want to skip that stuff you should stop reading when barty goes to mcgonagalls office and go to end notes
that's it enjoy xx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“D’you reckon she’ll send a howler?” Barty whispered to Regulus as the owls carrying the morning post swooped into the Great Hall.
“Nah, I doubt it,” he whispered back, glancing around nervously as if he expected his mother to pop up behind him. “She’ll want to smooth it over quietly.”
Evan walked up behind them and flung himself down next to Regulus.
“Morning,” he greeted, grinning sleepily.
Barty opened his mouth to respond, but he was interrupted by the great oak doors being thrown open rather loudly.
All the students quieted down as Walburga Black stepped into the Great Hall.
“Albus,” She called, her calm voice ringing out crystal clear across the room, “I need to have a word with my children.”
Barty quickly glanced at Regulus then at Sirius. They both wore identical expressions of pure terror.
Before Dumbledore could respond, McGonagall stepped up.
“A pleasure to see you, as always, Walburga,” she drawled, her voice scarily icy. “But I don’t believe it is appropriate to have parents barging into the school and demanding to see their children. You must understand, we value our students’ privacy and safety here at Hogwarts.”
The look Walburga gave her could have withered stone, but McGonagall was undeterred.
When she realized the professor wouldn’t back down, she turned to her eldest son instead.
“Sirius, come here. At once.”
Barty expected him to resist, perhaps even to outright refuse, but he simply stood up and began to make his way toward his mother, staring resolutely at his feet.
Before he could make it very far, however, McGonagall grabbed his arm protectively and stepped in front of him.
“I must not have made myself clear, Walburga. You are not welcome here. Any issues you may have can be sorted out with the Headmaster or myself. If you have something to say to your sons, you are free to write them a letter or take it up with them over the holidays when you will be seeing them again. Now, please step outside or I will have to take action.”
Walburga Black was not a woman to be threatened, but even she did not dare challenge Minerva McGonagall. Visibly seething, she slowly turned on her heel and stormed out of the Great Hall, throwing over her shoulder, “Very well then, Minerva, I would like to have a word with you in your office.”
McGonagall nodded and followed her out, the Great Hall erupting into excited whispers behind them. Sirius stood alone in the middle of the room, wide-eyed and fearful, looking unsure of whether he should sit back down or just leave. He eventually decided on the latter, and everyone stared at him as he walked away.
Barty immediately refocused his attention on Regulus, who did not seem to be handling the situation very well. He was ghostly pale – even more so than usual – and he looked like he was about to be sick. He had risen out of his seat and couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted to get up or not.
“Hey, you alright?” Barty asked, his brow furrowing in concern.
“I have to- Sirius- I- I need my brother.” It came out as practically a whimper, and he looked so scared and vulnerable that Barty immediately got to his feet and reached out to him.
Shooting Evan an apologetic look and attempting to silently tell him, I’ll explain later, he grabbed Regulus’ arm and marched out of the hall, starting a new wave of whispers that he promptly ignored.
He didn’t stop until he spotted Sirius making his way up a set of stairs that most certainly did not lead to the Gryffindor common room. Barty hesitated. Generally, when people looked around furtively and disappeared through a stairway in a secluded area, they wanted to be left alone. But then he looked at Regulus, who was on the verge of falling apart, and followed the older Black up the stairs.
Barty stepped out onto what looked like the top of a tower, panting and sweating and cursing the bloody endless stairwells of Hogwarts. He had all of two seconds to feel bitter before he was being roughly pinned against the stone wall and his vision was obscured by a mass of dark hair.
Stupidly perhaps, Barty’s first thought was that Sirius’ curls were unbelievably perfect. It only hit him afterward, rather belatedly, that Sirius was also quite strong, and that he was at a very real risk of being laid out if he didn’t say something.
Fortunately, Regulus appeared at the top of the stairs a moment later and exclaimed, “Sirius! Put him down!”
Sirius started and stepped back, shaking his head as if he hadn’t even realized what he was doing. He reached out and straightened Barty’s collar sheepishly, muttering an apology. He then turned to Regulus, his entire body tensing up in concern the moment he laid eyes on him.
“Reggie? Hey, you look like death, come here.”
He couldn’t even seem to muster up a sarcastic retort, he just moved forward and practically collapsed into his brother’s chest, releasing a choked sob.
Sirius’ arms wrapped around Regulus immediately, almost instinctively, and he just held him like that for a few minutes as he waited for him to calm down.
He did, eventually, and then he looked Sirius dead in the eye and said surprisingly steadily, “We need to talk to her, you know that right?”
Sirius freezes. “Uh, are you sure, Reggie?”
“I have to talk to her. I understand if you’d rather avoid her, but I’d appreciate it if you came with me.”
Sirius swallowed harshly, and though every bone in his body seemed to be screaming in distress, he nodded immediately.
"Yeah. Yeah, of course I'll come."
"How about you? Are you... Do you want to come too?"
Barty blinked, only realizing after a few seconds that Regulus was talking to him.
"Me? I, uh, oh! Yeah, for sure," he stuttered, feeling rather pleased that Regulus trusted him enough to ask him to come along. He was well aware that the Black brothers didn't exactly have the best relationship with their parents, so he knew this was not going to be easy for them.
Regulus nodded and offered him a small smile, and the three boys made their way back down the tower – god, Barty hated stairs.
They arrived at McGonagall’s office rather quickly since Sirius, for some reason, had been able to lead the way easily. As they got closer, however, both him and Regulus grew stiffer and more anxious. So, Barty took it upon himself to take the lead.
He threw the door open and marched in, attempting not to look as afraid as he was under Walburga’s cold gaze.
“Professor McGonagall,” he began bluntly, “Sirius and Regulus are here to, ah, sort matters out with Mrs. Black.”
McGonagall didn’t look particularly annoyed or surprised by their unannounced entrance. She simply stared at him curiously for a few seconds before asking, “And you, Mr. Crouch? What are you here for?”
The question caught Barty off-guard, and he momentarily faltered in his act of false bravado. “Er… Moral support?”
For some reason, the professor seemed to like this answer and gestured to the three of them to take a seat. Walburga’s eyes quickly acknowledged the brothers before returning to settle on Barty.
“Now,” McGonagall began calmly, “It appears there has been a… misunderstanding. You see I was informed at the last minute that the list was mistaken and that your youngest was in fact called Regulus-”
“By whom?” Mrs. Black interrupted sharply.
“I’m sorry?”
“Who informed you of this?”
“I’m afraid I cannot disclose that information, Walburga.”
“Why not? The answer is quite obvious, is it not?” Mrs. Black’s eyes danced with rage.
Sirius gulped, shrinking back into his seat.
“Be that as it may, I made the change to the list, and your son responded to the name, so there must have been some truth to my information, Walburga.”
“That is not my son!” she barked, glaring furiously at Regulus. “She is my daughter!”
McGonagall was momentarily stunned, but she quickly regained her composure. “Perhaps it is not my place to criticize your parenting, but it seems you are missing some crucial information about your children if your daughter is running around calling herself a boy and responding to the name Regulus.”
Walburga looked dangerously close to getting out of her seat and throttling the professor.
“Do not mock me, Minerva, I am perfectly aware off what is going on here. My daughter, as of late, has been labouring under the delusion that she is a boy – one of those transgenders, you know the sort – and I will be damned if I have bloody queers in my family tarnishing the name of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.”
McGonagall, who had remained impressively calm through the entire conversation, now looked positively livid. When she spoke again, her voice was low and venomous.
“Walburga, I have been exceedingly patient with you thus far, but I will not tolerate such ignorant and hateful language used toward the children in my care. Hogwarts is a safe space for all children, no matter their ethnicity, their blood status, their gender, or their sexual orientation. I may have no say in how you deal with your sons at home, but as long as they are at school, they will be respected in their identities. That is all I have to say to you. Kindly take your leave now, or I will have to call on the Headmaster to have you removed."
With that, she stood and walked out, leaving the three boys alone with Mrs. Black.
The moment McGonagall disappeared from view, Walburga whirled on her eldest.
"Are you out of your mind?!"
Sirius flinched back so violently that he almost fell out of his seat.
"You little- I should have known you would encourage your sister's nonsense! You know what, it truly is unfortunate that she is a girl, she would have made a far better heir than you!
Sirius recoiled again as if he had been slapped. Regulus' brow furrowed in concern, but he didn't dare reach out to his brother.
In the back of his mind, Barty was also worried for Sirius, but that didn't matter because he had just had an incredibly stupid idea.
He cleared his throat. "Er, Mrs. Black, if I may- You just said that Regulus would make a far better heir than Sirius, right? Well, if you truly believe that, then isn't this situation somewhat, er, fortunate, in a way?"
The look Walburga gave him made Barty momentarily reconsider his idea.
"You- You see," he swallowed, doing his best to keep his voice from shaking. "As of right now, the entirety of Hogwarts knows your child to be a boy called Regulus. What if you were to, say, go along with this? Make it seem as if you had always had two sons? You could have him raised as a boy, and when the time comes to choose an heir, if you still believe he is more suitable, then you will have no trouble."
Sirius, who had initially looked hurt, now looked ecstatic. He shot Barty a look that clearly said, You are a fucking genius.
He fully expected Walburga to scream at him or perhaps even simply disregard him entirely, but she seemed to be actually considering his words.
"Hm," she said finally, "What's your name, boy?"
"Barty, ma'am." And then he added, rather reluctantly, "Bartemius Crouch Junior."
Her nose wrinkled in distaste. "Crouch, huh? Quite clever for the son of a nutcase, aren't you?"
Barty knew it was supposed to be an insult, but he couldn't help himself. He grinned. "Thank you, ma'am."
That seemed to amuse her. "You don't like your father." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
"No, ma'am, not at all."
Walburga simply continued to smile at him for a few seconds before standing.
"Well, Bartemius Crouch Junior, I believe we have an agreement."
She turned to Sirius, her smile dropping. "And Regulus? I certainly hope you prove to be a better son than him."
She gracefully marched out of the room, her robes billowing behind her.
Sirius immediately sprung up from his chair and pulled Regulus into his arms.
"Reggie, this is wonderful!" he grinned widely, though it was slightly forced, and his voice was strained.
When he pulled back, his face was ashen, and his hands were shaking. He looked like he was about to cry.
"Hey," Regulus began, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder.
Sirius shrugged him off. "I'm fine, Reggie, I'm happy." As if to prove that he was, in fact, happy, he widened his grin to a point where it looked almost comical.
It was extremely obvious that he was not okay, but Regulus didn't push it.
"Well," Barty exclaimed loudly in an attempt to cheer him up, "I think this calls for celebration. Come back to the Slytherin common room with us, we'll have a party or something."
Sirius, surprisingly, shook his head and looked down. "No, no, you guys go ahead and celebrate. I, er, I’m gonna go find James."
Barty had no idea who James was, but Regulus' expression immediately turned sour at the mention of his name.
"Oh, yes, of course," he spat, "The mighty James Potter. I'm sure your dearest friend will cheer you up better than your pathetic little brother ever could."
Sirius looked distressed. "Hey, no, Reggie, that's not what I meant, you know that's not-"
"Bye, Sirius," Regulus interrupted coldly, grabbing Barty's arm and dragging him out of the room. "Go talk to James."
Barty didn’t understand how things had gone south so quickly. Who the hell was James Potter, and why did Regulus hate him so much?
Notes:
HEY GUYS. ok i know i took forever on this one and it's pretty short so i apologize for that. there's kind of a lot going on in this chapter though so i didnt want to make it any longer.
i think it's fair to start by appreciating our QUEEN minerva mcgonagall. her basically telling walburga to fuck off in front of the entire school?? so fucking iconic. defending her students rights to privacy and safety and respect?? hell yes. being really protective of sirius?? absolutely. stan minnie.
also barty? what a great friend fr. he has literally no idea whats going on 24/7 he is Perpetually Confused but he wants to help anyway i love him.
let's talk about walburga. ....do you want to strangle her yet? yeah me too. as you can clearly tell she's a horrible parent and a horrible person. you might think that sirius should have been standing up to her more, but remember that he's only 11 and absolutely terrified of her. the rebellion will come as he grows older i swear.
JAMES IS INTRODUCED!! sirius needing james and james only when he's upset :((( but also regulus being a jealous little shit he's so cute. barty being Perpetually Confused yet again lmao. we'll actually meet james soon though dont worry.
also ik we havent had much evan content so far because its mostly just been the black brothers, but i promise we'll be seeing a lot more of him and rosekiller's friendship dynamic in the next chapter
summary for those who skipped the office scene:
basically minnie tries to explain that there was a misunderstanding and walburga proceeds to throw a fit and out regulus to her before using some ignorant and hateful language toward trans/queer people. mcgonagalls super pissed after that and she basically tells walburga that hogwarts is a safe space for everyone and then kicks her out. walburga also says a lot of hurtful and belittling things to sirius throughout and he pretends not to be affected but he is. barty has an idea and he suggests to walburga that, since everyone thinks regs a boy, she should just go with it so that if sirius doesnt turn out to be a suitable air regulus can become the heir instead. walburga eventually agrees and then leaves (after being a bitch to sirius again). theyre all really happy for reg but sirius is also visibly upset about his mother's words, and he rejects their attempts to cheer him up, saying he needs james. regulus gets pissy and jealous at the mention of james and drags barty away. bartys just confused about who tf james potter is and why regulus hates him.ok that's it i'll have the next chapter out before halloween and it'll be a lot longer !! xx
Chapter 3: THIS FIC IS CURRENTLY ON BREAK!!
Chapter Text
hey guys i am not currently writing this fic because i felt like starting other things and i started writing a jegulus spiderman au rn which im super invested in lmao so yeah go read that one if you want its called a sky full of stars (but you shine brightest) i promise ill continue this one some time soon okay that's it bye xx
Wolfstarslovechild9 on Chapter 1 Sun 25 Sep 2022 09:01PM UTC
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