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Being mildly antisocial and having a crush is kinda tricky.
Being mildly antisocial and having a crush on someone who is totally extroverted is a little more.
But now, being mildly antisocial, having a crush on someone totally extroverted who happens to be your best friend and has the emotionality of a coffee table, oh, that's disastrous.
It's Friday night and once again Jin is sitting in his office after a long day at work, nursing a glass of whiskey waiting for Hoseok.
Yup. Hoseok, his daily reason for screaming.
Hoseok’s that little bit of sun in the middle of a gray day, you know that light that came in the middle of the heavy clouds? That's what Hoseok represents.
That's how Jin met him, years ago while a much younger and inconsequential Jin decided that even though he was antisocial, he was too handsome to stay indoors and so he decided to venture into dance classes and then, dance battles in the soul underground.
On one of those days, there he was in the middle of a bboy step when unfortunately he supported the wrong weight on his arms and ended up getting hurt. He was distracted because he started to battle with the most beautiful boy he had ever laid eyes on. Smile Hoya. At that time, his opponent promptly stopped and took him to the hospital without even thinking twice. Since then they have been inseparable.
Jin smiles while drinking his whiskey and remembers Hoseok, how he went from Smile Hoya to Jhope and is now one of the most famous dancers on youtube. How he was always a constant in Jin’s life, they both belonged to neuron, then they started the bangtan group and now, after more than 10 years together, they continue to take the dance dream wherever they go.
The two became best friends over time, as there was no other way. Hoseok is just that, a source of light and joy a calm and steady presence everyday. Jin's fridge has hundreds of mementos pasted together to save everything, little pictures, and magnets of recording trips, graduations, dance awards and the most recent event, the day they decided that the icing on the cake for both of them would be starting a relationship, but a sexual one.
Yes, besides best friend, Hoseok is Jin’s friends with benefits
Silly thing.
Nothing to worry abaot.
If not for the fact that Jin has been pathetically in love with him for years.
Of course the position is great, they match everything, Jin smiles and holds his face as he remembers how they match, how much he loves his best friend's touches and whispers.
And is all right yeah? They go out all the time, are always together, and on the weekends they usually make time to vent their stress with a good old-fashioned makeout together.
But Jin is selfish, and he wants more.
He needs more.
He wants to hold hands all the time, because Hoseok holds his hands yes, but not all the time.
He wants to take Hoseok home and say: this is my boyfriend, the man I chose to be by my side.
He wants to continue waking up next to him, not just on weekends.
Would it be asking too much? The stability of being able to count on Hoseok romantically too? Would it be that crazy? A real date, with roses and discreet kisses and promises of love?
Jin grunts once more as he feels the tips of his ears turn red, damn he loves Hoseok so much it hurts, the butterflies in his stomach make him nauseous and he definitely wants to get up and run and scream in the window HOSEOK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU AND EVERYBODY KNOWS BUT YOU!
Wanting to get out of his sour mood, Jin takes out his cell phone and there he is, once again, his best friend being the most delicious and perfect thing in the world. What does it cost to try again, right?
“Do you put them down like that (on the floor) before wearing them? It's cute hahah?”
and he thinks's a bit more and decides
"Jwahope, A drink go go?
This has been going on for a while, fans even made several threads talking about how Jin has already asked Hoseok to drink hundreds of times, what they don't know is that really, they go out to drink, but that's it, just drink.
"Maybe I should ask him on a date anyway, no mincing words."
Jin thinks to himself as he goes to fill his glass again, it's cold and Jin has been waiting for a few minutes. And now, after seeing how super cute Hobi looks in a beanie with his ears sticking out like a cuddly gnome, Jin is going to need at least four more shots. His cell phone rings and before answering he takes a deep breath, it's Yoongi.
“Hello my dongsaeng, what do you need on this cold night?”
"Jin-hyung, don't you have any dignity left?"
“Yah! you brat, what are you talking about”
"Hyung I just saw your comment on Hoya's photo, I'm sorry but he won't accept a date with you, you've asked about three hundred and ninety-eight times"
Jin smiles indignantly and looks at the phone thinking about how bold this boy is
“Look, it was at most a hundred times, just so you know, and I won't get tired of trying” he sighs a little sad “maybe he really doesn't like me like that... or maybe he's waiting for me to ask two hundred times?”
“Jin, you're hurting yourself, why don't you… I don't know, write a letter? Everyone knows you like him, but we know about his past. I think you need to go straight on this, not be afraid nothing...”
"if theres one thing im not its straight! And yoongiah, I think he really doesn't want anything romantic, and that's ok"
Jin hears Yoongi huff on the other side and can almost see him pouting
"It's not okay, I bet you're drinking, waiting for him to arrive and stalking his instagram..."
"Yah, this call lasted too long, kiss kiss, send a hug to Namjoon, I'll wait for you on Monday for rehearsal"
He still hears a silly laugh before he hangs up, and by the grace of fate his doorbell rings.
When opening the door Jin loses his breath a little bit, but yes, Hoseok looks cute looking like a small squirrel with all his clothes covering him and his ears sticking out.
“Hoya!” He goes straight to hug his little squirrel friend and smell that clean perfume he always has, comforting and lovely.
“Yah hyung, it's a hobi H O B I, for you it's hobi, no one has called me hoya for years”
He complains in that whiny way, but he gives in to the hug just as much.
"I know, I'm just nostalgic today, come on in, let's have a cup of tea before we go out, it's very snowy and you could catch a cold"
They walk in and like a perfect dongsaeng, Hoseok leaves things in the entrance hall, takes off his coat and unfortunately takes off his beanie which makes him so cute, but as a gift, Jin gets the sight of brown hair and so hydrated, so soft, Jin has to fight hard against the urge to hug him again to stick his nose right on top of the other's head and kiss him several times. Damn crush!
“Jwannnn you commented on my photo again” Hoseok giggles, can you imagine? He giggles with his whole body as his cheeks pink with cold get more and more beautiful.
"It's my Hobi trademark, if I don't comment it's even weird"
They smile and they both go to make pepperment tea, as Jin knows it's his best friend's favorite.
“Jin hyung, can we come home early today, what do you think? Tomorrow I have a... date so to speak, I don't want to wake up late"
Upon hearing this Jin tries to hide it, but fails. His eyes almost popped out in surprise. A date? With someone else? It's okay that he doesn't have a relationship, but they still sleep together every now and then, what does he mean date? What is missing for him to go look for another?
“Jin hyung?”
“Oh sorry Hobi, I remembered I need to pay a bill later… Date hm? Of course, of course, we can come back early, if you don’t want to go that’s fine too.”
Jin does his best not to frown or cry right there and turns around to offer Hoseok a smile, but soon dies when he looks at him and he has a disapproving frown.
"What?"
"What do you mean if I don't want to go... we've already planned to go out, it's not important to you?"
no no no
“No Hobi, you know very well that every minute with you is important to me and special… erh” Jin coughs trying to hide his foolishness and looks away, “But hm, date hm? Who is the lucky one?" Hmm, am I being discreet enough?
“Ah hyung, it's not really a date, I only agreed to go out with this guy because... well because I had a conversation with yoongi hyung and he made me understand that I'm emotionally constipated so I decided to open the doors of my heart again, and it must be difficult to find someone who wants to date me... so I ended up agreeing to go out with Taehyung, remember? That boy who works there at the gym? He really wanted to go out with me for years..."
“Ah... ah yes, hobi just a moment I need to go to the bathroom” Jin walks away calmly, contrary to what his heart is doing.
Each step is a different pain.
Go out with another guy? Difficult to date?
Jin enters the bathroom and sits on the floor thinking about everything they've been through. Every day they slept together, every time he declared he loved hoseok.
All the time he spent watching Hoseok sleep. Did he think this would be forever? Did he take that for granted ? Had he always been too comfortable with what they had?
And all the times he asked hoseok for a drink? Did he not understand that this drink could be a candlelit dinner?
And all the times he went from playing his favorite game to watching romantic comedies with him? What to do now? If he declares himself now, it might sound possessive...
Yes, the best thing is to be quiet and let everything happen naturally.
He'll wait, go out for drinks today, and tomorrow fate will take it.
═───────☽───────═
A week later, Jin finds himself sitting in the kitchen again, drinking whiskey and waiting for Hoseok.
The week was great, apart from all the days that Jin screamed into the pillow and had to leave the house for a walk to not cry with envy, and also all the hours he spent playing non-stop trying to disconnect from real life, everything was great!
-jwaehope, a drink?
He comments again on a photo of Hoseok. Equally cute, he again looking like a squirrel in need of affection...
“Oh, I'm te one i should love ! cry over a man? With a world wide perfect face just like mine?” Outraged, he gets up to go to the mirror to tell himself some truth.
“Look here SeokJin, you are beautiful, healthy, shoulders that would carry a world, a symmetrically perfect face, it's time to get out of this bad trip... no crying for love... Although he is beautiful, right? That pointy nose and the little mole at the end of his mouth... and his mouth looks like a heart, and those eyes that sparkle when he sees an ugly new bag? Or those horrible sneakers, but they look so beautiful on them.... ahhhh I want my little piece of sun”
Unfortunately, her grief session ends when the doorbell rings again.
"Hello hoya, are we going out?"
“Yes jin hyung, I missed you, where have you been hiding huh?”
They hug and leave to drink something.
“Jin-hyung, this is our 36th bro date this year, we go out drinking almost every week of the year, next week is Christmas! Just imagine, this year went by super fast, huh?
Bro date... yeah, Jin likes to forget about that little detail. Ever since the beginning of the year when Hoseok agreed to go on scheduled weekly outings with Jin he called it that
"a bro date", even though they've given each other lots of kisses, he still considers him a bro. What a time to be alive!
"It is hobi, let's go to our bro date"
And suddenly there is no more sadness in Jin's body. After a few drinks and half an hour of conversation Jin is happy, he doesn't even remember what a disaster week he had. Going out with hoseok is like feeling the sun touch your skin, lightly and delicately. Hoseok's happy voice and laugh make him feel unique, like he's going to fly.
That's exactly why he fell in love, being with hoseok and not falling in love is like drinking 8 shots of whiskey and not getting dizzy, impossible.
Hoseok is saying something about the date he had the other week, but Jin doesn't pay attention. It's not important, what matters is that Hoseok has put some eyeshadoww in his eyes and has millions of little points of glitter catching attention, just like his hair is. more wavy than ever, and oh, is that blush or is his cheeks even in winter are rosy?
"... so that's why it will never work, he didn't make me smile in that way that hurts my stomach you know?"
"Hoya, I really want to kiss the tip of your nose right now..."
It's always like that, alcohol comes in and the truth comes out.
“Only the nose?” And it's so unfair that Hoseok has that evil smile, full of ulterior motives and hidden fire. Because now Jin just wants to kiss the nose, let a little seal in that perfect thing of nature. Make a caress on the cheek, light touches.
“Only the nose Hoya...”
Hoseok gives a sad pout but Jin doesn't mind so much, the alcohol has left his mind slightly numb and all he can notice now is how much the other's skin glows under the bar lights.
“Jin, do you want to go home?”
"It's hyung you brat, and yes it would be good to go, it's cold and I need to lie down and sleep..."
“S-sleep hyung? I thought Fridays we... hm, you know...”
“Oh sorry Sunshine, today I really want to lie down and enjoy this feeling of anesthesia I'm in now, but you mentioned that you have another date right? Maybe it will work out for you.”
Hoseok again pouts, but this time in that triangular shape that clearly expresses irritation. But Jin really wants it to work out with the new boy, if not for him, Hoseok has to be treated as well as possible by whoever he is.
═───────☽───────═
Well, something's not right. Jin hasn't seen Hoseok for two weeks and it seems his love is exploding from him. He's on the point of writing hoseok's name in notebooks with hearts beside them, and sighing whenever he thinks of him.
Hoseok took some days from work, and Jin has been alone for so long, it seems like life is so gray without his sunshine.
It's Friday and he's home alone, in his pajamas and no makeup, carelessly playing video games when his cell phone vibrates. One of the two, either hoseok did something or it's some important work email, after all, only those two things have notifications enabled.
jwan, a drink?
It's a comment. On Instagram!
What are the odds? There are so many questions... Where is he? How about a drink? When will he be able to hug Hoseok again? Is it love someone like that normal ?
In the middle of the ramblings the doorbell rings and Jin almost has a heart attack, his startled scream can probably be heard from outside the house. He gets up running and goes to open the door and to his surprise, it's hoseok. Using again the little cap that makes the folded ears beautiful.
“Hoya?”
“Hey Jwannnn, did you miss me?”
“Like hell little seok, like hell”
They hug and it's so good, Jin has such a cold body and Hoseok even coming from the could outside its so warm. It's like an eclipse, the moon and the sun hugging each other.
"It is already midnight?"
“I think there is some time left, why?”
"Nothing Hyung... aren't you going to invite me in?"
And they go in. It's all as usual. Jin feels so comfortable with Hoseok, everything is in its place again.
They go to sit in the living room and Hoseok praises Jin's pajamas, smiling wholeheartedly. Jin serves them both drinks and they start talking about everything and nothing. Hoseok talks about the trip he had to take to his hometown and how he had to stay away from social media to solve a personal problem. What does Jin find strange, are there still personal matters between them? Weird.
After a few minutes of drinking and talking, Hoseok's cell phone starts ringing and he has to go outside to answer it.
How crazy... Jin thinks.
Until a few minutes ago he was in almost in physical pain of longing and now Hoseok is here, like every Friday, like on a.... bro date? bro team? Man, an anxious brain sometimes talks so much nonsense....
“JIN HYUNNNGGG”
Hoseok yells from the kitchen and Jin runs out, only to be surprised by a huge bouquet of lilac flowers.
“W-hat?”
"HAPPY NEW YEAR HYUNG"
New Year? Like this? Today? What?
Hoseok and all his heart-shaped smile comes to him smiling and hugging him, kissin all over Jin's.
"You liked it?"
“Of course.. I didn't even remember it was today Hoseok…? We didn't even go out to a little party?”
"And for me it was perfect Hyung, let's have a toast and sit down to talk more?"
Jin was speechless, but so happy, as an introvert he really didn't like holiday parties that much, and for some reason he hadn't really paid attention to anything the last few days. But nothing would be as good as sitting down and drinking with his friend like this, nothing would be as good as admiring his crush up close smiling with him.
“Jin… I… wanted to take advantage of this beginning of the year and confess something, okay?”
“Sunshine course”
“Jin hyung.. I was away for a few days because I needed to think about my life a lot. I realized that after my last relationship I was, um, let's say afraid of falling in love again. You know how hard it was to get over such a dificult breakup, and after that I wanted to lock myself in, but this whole time everything was easier because I had you by my side.”
Jin moves on the couch because he's afraid of what might come from there.
“And, I thought about all our moments together, all our bro dates, all the things we shared, and even though I'm afraid of losing it all, I really wanted to ask you... to ask you to help me get lear how to fall in love again? I was afraid of not knowing what it's like to fall in love, but for you I know it would be so easy... because no one makes me safer than you... no one makes me happier, I can't and I don't even want to imagine myself with nobody else. Would you... would you give me that opportunity? To learn to love with you?”
Jin is a pool of emotions. Did he really hear all this? Is it the Alcohol? Is his best friend really declaring himself after so many years and so many opportunities?
“It would be an honor Sunshine, I've been in love with you for years, it will be the easiest thing in the world to show you what it's like to truly love. Can you please, please just be mine?”
The kiss came easy, they know each other like no one else. The taste of each other is comforting, it's like a sea breeze on the skin, it's natural and brings goosebumps.
Jin and Hoseok were made for each other, it just took a little while to happen.
“I'll be yours, only yours Jin Hyung”
