Sacrifice

by Aushina

Summary:

A rewrite of the scene where Aileana willingly drowns in an attempt to fully unlock her Falconer abilities. There are not plot changes, I just feel like the book glanced over the full weight of the situation.

Notes:

Not beta read as none of my friends are really in a place where I feel comfortable asking them to read about a suicide. I did my best to look for typos and awkward grammar but please feel free to point out any errors in the comments and I'll try to fix them.

            I take a deep breath and nod. Kiaran pushes me under the cold water.

            At first, everything is fine. The cold bites at my skin and my hair billows in the current. The tendrils look like a cloud of seaweed as they brush against my rapidly numbing cheeks. Then my lungs begin to burn. My lips press together to keep precious air in. Though I know what I have to do, I can't help but struggle. I buck against Kiaran. I fight, twisting hard in his grip in an effort to break to the surface. To draw in breath. But he holds me tightly, his body weighing me down.

            The cold is an impenetrable thing, so heavy on my skin. Kiaran's body heat scalds in painful contrast. I open my mouth to breathe, but can't. Sea water floods my mouth, down my throat, and burns into my lungs. I cough and heave as my body tries to eject the intruding water, but more flows in. Water fills my sinuses, feeling like a weight pressing on my skull. Salt tears the sensitive linings of my throat and nose as water is pushed forcibly through. Pain pounds through my head and chest until that is all I can feel. The rest of my body goes numb. Soon, I go limp.

            Distantly, I feel Kiaran's warmth leave as he release me. I realize this is the last moment I have to change my mind--I have just enough strength to go back to the surface. It hurts. The pain is exploding through my chest-

            No. I have to do this. I stay under the water, feeling my body sink down, down, down, until my back is against the pebbles at the bottom of the sea. The pain fades as my thoughts grow fuzzy. My last memory is Kiaran pressing his lips against mine.