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When Toge envisioned starting his final year of university, he didn’t think he’d be sleeping through his alarm. He thought he’d gotten better at managing his time over the last few years but that clearly isn’t the case as he scrambles to get out of bed. He’d been rewatching one of his favorite shows the night before and had the idea to try his hand at digital art again on his tablet. One thing led to another and suddenly, it was three in the morning. Sure, his fanart looks good but now, he’s running late so was it truly worth it?
Probably.
He’s been sharing an apartment with his friend, Maki, for the last few semesters. He met Maki during their first year of university after Toge had gotten lost in the engineering building looking for his first class. Living with Maki is nice for the most part, when Maki isn’t getting onto him about doing dishes and picking up after himself. Well, that might be on Toge but regardless, their living situation works out.
Toge makes it to the bathroom and turns the small shower on, impatiently waiting for the water to get warm when his eyes land on a discarded plastic bag on the counter. It's hair dye he bought a few days ago when he noticed the pink was beginning to fade from his blond hair. His mother used to gush to everyone under the sun about Toge’s pretty blond hair, telling anyone who’d listen that her son was the cutest, but now, all she can do is bemoan because Toge has found that blond hair holds hair dye of any color perfectly. He’s been dying it for years now, alternating between colors, and different combinations. He likes to switch it up from time to time. It keeps things interesting.
So really, he can’t be helped as he opens the bag and gets to work. He’s already running late to his first appointment of the day, what’s another hour at this point? He’s about half an hour into it when Maki starts knocking on the door.
“I thought you said your first class was at nine!” She yells, as she keeps knocking. “What are you still doing here?”
Toge grimaces as he puts more hair dye on his bangs, mixing purple and green, he’s going for something different this year. Normally, in the past, he’s stuck more to lighter colors but since it's his last year of university, he wants to get out of his comfort zone even if his mother would argue he left it long ago when he started dying his hair.
When Toge doesn’t answer, Maki opens the door and finds him standing in front of the mirror, gloves on his hands and hair dye staining his shirt and forehead. He smiles at her, trying not to break under her glare. He knows Maki means well, she’s always telling him to stay on top of his schoolwork and responsibilities, but he forgets sometimes.
“You,” Maki inhales, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Only you would think it’s a good idea to dye your hair when you’re already running late.”
“Maki,” he whines, trying his best to cool his friend down.
“Oh, no,” she huffs. “Don’t Maki me. I thought Nobara said she was going to dye your bangs next time, so we could avoid this.” She motions towards the sink and Toge’s stained shirt.
Toge looks back at the mirror. He can’t let Maki know he got impatient and well, sometimes the urge to dye his color hits at the most unexpected times. He can’t help it. His plan was to wait for Nobara, Maki’s girlfriend and Toge’s mentee but he can’t be stopped once he sets his mind to something.
It’s about an hour later when he’s dressed and headed to his meeting with his advisor, given that his first lesson of the day ended almost half an hour ago. Sure, he’s late but he thinks it was worth it, besides, his semester is pretty open this year, aside from all the work he has to do. Being a fine arts major with a focus on painting and drawing had been fun in the beginning since he finally got to immerse himself in his passion but over the last years, it’s gotten a bit mundane. Since, it’s his last year of university, the main focus is going to be his project that’s due next semester, which is nice since he’ll have the majority of the year to work on it. The pressure to deliver something worthy of being showcased at the exhibition though is immense. He still isn’t sure what he’s going to paint for it. His instructors want him to branch out and try something new, claiming that he won’t improve unless he challenges himself. Toge knows they’re right but still, it’s a heavy pill to swallow. It took him about a year to get into digital art and even then, he’s still apprehensive as fuck about it.
When he’d been telling Maki about his current dilemma, she’d suggested he draw a person for a change and the idea hasn’t left Toge’s mind since. It’s just difficult thinking about who he would paint. He wants to do something special for it, that’s for sure. Mostly, he’s stuck to drawing and painting scenery, he loves drawing plants and flowers in particular. When he’d been young, his grandmother had had a big garden, one he’d spend hours in helping, playing, and trying to replicate the flowers with chalk and stubby little uncoordinated hands. It was then he discovered his love for art and his grandmother had always made sure to encourage him, constantly hanging up his art whenever he presented her with a new piece. Over the years, he’s painted better pieces for her but she refuses to take down his childhood creations, teasing that it’s to show his future spouse one day until Toge turns pink in the face.
He decides to take a detour to the art building that’ll take him through the center of the campus where some of the prettiest flowers are planted by the groundskeepers. Maybe he can snag a picture or two for some references later. He wishes he’d brought his skateboard with him but his advisor—Gojo Satoru has already gotten onto him multiple times about bringing that thing into his office and wreaking mayhem.
Toge has his headphones in as he makes his way through the crowd of students, some not even looking up from their phones as they walk, others looking down, while the majority seem to be running to class which isn’t out of the usual. Colors blasts through his headphones, filling his mind as he walks towards the flowers, trying to think of what he has going on today when he sees him.
There’s someone standing there already, looking down at the flowers, dressed in a black suit, jacket open revealing a white button-up. His hair is messy, parted to the side, and looking like it’s been tugged and has had hands run through it all morning. He’s…extremely good looking. Toge slows his walk as he gets closer and finally, puts a name to the handsome face that’s currently admiring the flowers. Okkotsu Yuuta. He’s a familiar face around campus, despite the size of the university and its student body population. It’s easy to know Yuuta because he’s involved in everything under the sun practically, he’s part of most student organizations on campus, and recently, was elected student body president. Toge knows they’re in the same year since he recalls seeing Yuuta during their orientation all those years ago, knows that Maki’s cousin is good friends with him, but that’s mostly it. They don’t share majors, much less classes, or friend groups.
Toge feels nervous as he stands back a few feet. Should he leave and come back later for those pictures? He picks at his nails where some of the hair dye managed to stain despite him using gloves. Normally, he doesn’t get nervous, but Yuuta is cute and Toge is only human. Someone bumps into him and knocks him out of his thoughts, making him realize he’s still standing there, staring at Yuuta like the creeps his mother warned him about when he moved to university. He should go, really should head to see Gojo-sensei before it’s too late and he gets chewed out for being late again but he’s finding it rather difficult to tear his eyes away from Yuuta. His stomach feels like it’s in knots as he watches Yuuta admire the flowers. No one has ever really paid the flowers much attention aside from Toge, most people disregard them when they lay blankets down on the ground to sit on the grass, no one but Toge, well until now.
He watches as Yuuta squats down to touch the flowers with gentle fingers. Toge nearly melts at the spectacle. He doesn’t get to admire the sight for long because Yuuta is suddenly looking over his shoulder, as if having felt Toge’s gaze on him and that’s when Toge knows it’s time to go. He almost trips in his hurry to get away, praying to the heavens that Yuuta didn’t see that and doesn’t know him, because honestly, how mortifying. Something like this would only happen to him.
Toge doesn’t stop speed walking until he reaches his advisor’s office, even then, he looks over his shoulder to make sure Yuuta isn’t behind him. He leans his head against the wall to catch his breath and practically jumps out of his skin when Gojo-sensei’s office door opens, and the man pops out.
“Inumaki-kun!” Gojo-sensei grins. “Where have you been?” He asks, clicking his tongue. “You were supposed to be here half an hour ago.”
Toge bows in apology and follows the man into his office, willing his heart to relax before he goes into premature heart failure. There’s absolutely no way Yuuta saw him staring, so why does it feel like his heart is about to burst out of his chest at any second?
His meeting with Gojo-sensei goes as well as he expects it to. They mostly discuss his final project which is the bulk of his last year. Gojo-sensei wastes no time asking Toge if he has an idea of what he’s going to do for it, making Toge nervously nibble on his bottom lip to avoid answering the question.
“You know I believe you are extremely gifted,” Gojo-sensei reaffirms as he flips through the digital file of Toge’s previous works. “You have a talent for drawing scenery, most of your pieces are scenery, as well as flowers, the detail you put into each petal is beyond impressive. But that being said, I want you to explore different concepts because it’ll benefit your portfolio and career in the long run. I want the next generation of artists to branch out, you know? We don’t advance if we don’t challenge ourselves.”
Toge leans his head back against the chair and closes his eyes. He knows Gojo-sensei is right, but he has absolutely no idea what he’s going to do. He expresses as much with his hands, signing his distress in hopes that his advisor will have some pity on him.
Gojo-sensei does not end up having pity on him, instead, tells him to stay optimistic and start brainstorming because something or someone is bound to catch his eye. That does little to settle Toge’s nerves over the whole matter quite honestly. He reminds Toge of the study session he has this semester with Nobara. As if Toge could ever forget, he thinks Nobara might actually skin him alive if he did.
Toge decides to head back to the center of the campus after his meeting with Gojo concludes. Much to his pleasure and dismay, Yuuta is no longer there. Toge tells himself he shouldn’t feel so down about it, it's not like he knows Yuuta. He decides to take the photos he’d been too scared to take earlier to help clear his mind over everything that’s happened today.
It doesn’t last long because his phone starts buzzing to let him know his mother has texted him. Toge swipes the notification away and decides to abandon the flowers as he sits back on the grass, probably staining his clothes but that’s a problem for the future. He doesn’t want to read the message just yet since he knows exactly what it’s going to say at this point. His mother will ask how his day is going, how his meeting with his advisor went, and what his semester looks like. Toge has a love and hate relationship when it comes to how involved his parents are with his education.
On one hand, he is appreciative of how supportive his parents are when it comes to him getting a fine arts degree since it is not a profitable career, well, compared to the careers his cousins have chosen. His entire family is well off and they all take great pride in pushing their children to exceed so Toge hadn’t been expecting the best reaction when he told his parents he wanted to pursue art back when he’d entered high school. But to his surprise, they’d been supportive, and they provided all the resources Toge needed to succeed.
And it paid off, considering he got into one of the hardest public art programs in the country, let alone a department that only accepts less than ten students a year. But now that he’s in university, his parents expect nothing but the best out of him and it makes him feel extremely pressured. He knows his family will attend the exhibit and his grandmother will probably make a big fuss and buy whatever artwork he manages to produce by the end of the year. Just the thought alone makes Toge’s cheeks flush.
That night, Toge thinks back to earlier when he saw Yuuta as he sits in bed and sketches. He can’t help but frown and furrow his eyebrows in displeasure as his hand moves across the sketchpad. He looks back to his reference and finds that what he’s outlined looks pretty on par with the photo, but somehow it doesn’t feel right, and he can’t quite put his finger on it. The urge to crumble the paper is strong but he knows he’ll regret it in the morning.
Instead, he turns the sketchpad onto a new page and stares at the blank canvas for a moment before he leans back against his hoard of pillows, sketchpad nestled safely on his propped-up knees, and starts drawing again with new determination. He sketches lightly at first, not exactly sure what he’s drawing before he’s giving it his full attention. One thing leads to another, and he’s moved over to his desk where he can focus more.
It’s been a while since he’s been in the zone like this, where he’s paying such close attention to what he’s sketching that his hand starts to cramp, and he remembers it’s been weeks since he wore his braces to help combat the aches in his joints. But none of that seems to matter, not when he can’t stop, not until it's perfect.
He’s about an hour in when he hears commotion coming from the living room letting him know Nobara, Megumi, and Yuuji are over causing havoc, and breaking him out of concentration. He looks down at his sketch pad. It’s the scene from earlier, in the center of the campus of Yuuta admiring the flowers. Toge nibbles on his bottom lip as he looks it over. He taps his pencil impatiently against the paper, trying to make sense of what he’s doing, why he’s drawing Yuuta’s silhouette out of all things. Really, he must be going insane but there was something about Yuuta standing there that really called out to Toge. Gojo-sensei’s words ring loud and clear in Toge’s mind as he looks down at the drawing.
Art is all about capturing a moment you want to convey.
Toge tries not to think about it too much as he heads to class the next day despite the fact that he has the sketch pad nestled safely in his backpack. The gnawing urge to fix the mistakes and finish the piece burning hot inside of him despite telling himself repeatedly that it means nothing, that it’s just the flowers that seem to draw his attention. He opted for taking his skateboard this time since it’s a painting studio session he’s sharing with Nobara this semester, someone he’s been mentoring since his second year of university. He likes Nobara, they’ve spent a lot of time together, let it be when they’re working on schoolwork or when she’s over at Toge’s apartment to see Maki.
Nobara is already there when Toge arrives.
“Inumaki-senpai!” She greets him from where she’s been setting up her primed canvas. “Did you dye your hair without me?” She asks, putting her hands on her hips in displeasure. “I thought you were going to wait on me this time.”
Toge tries to look apologetic because he really is sorry but knows his impulsivity has no cure, sadly.
They get to work, setting up their canvas for what they’re planning to paint in the sessions that follow. Nobara had been kind enough to prime their canvases the day before. Painting is Toge’s strength, considering it’s his focus of study after all. Nobara as well, but her preferred style is abstraction while Toge tends to paint more realism. During their session, they work in silence for the most part but also giving each other pointers and advice.
Today, Toge has decided they’ll focus on doing a master study of Hayami Gyoshū’s Dance of Flames, one of Toge’s favorite pieces and one he thinks will help improve Nobara’s foundation and skills.
Toge is starting to mix the colors for his piece when he looks over and sees Maki’s younger cousin, Megumi, and Yuuta walk by the studio. The studio has large windows to allow natural light in and it so happens to let Toge get a good view of Yuuta as they walk by. He doesn’t even notice he’s staring until Nobara so kindly points it out.
“I didn’t know you knew Okkotsu-san,” Nobara comments, narrowing her eyes when she sees Toge turn back towards his paint at rapid speed.
I don’t know him, Toge signs, keeping his eyes trained on the canvas. Why does he feel like he’s been caught doing something bad? It isn’t like he knows Yuuta, not really. Do you?
Nobara purses her lips. “Sort of, he’s mentoring one of my roommates, Megumi, so I see him from time to time.”
Toge nods, trying to act nonchalant about the whole thing. What do you know about him?
“Well,” Nobara says as she makes sure her reference picture is taped securely. “I know he’s your class president, that he’s super smart, well according to Megumi, but that’s about it. Okkotsu-san is kind of shy. He looks scary but once you get to know him, not so much.” She looks over at Toge. “Why do you ask?”
Toge tries to busy himself with his canvas. No reason, he signs, glancing once more out the window to see if Yuuta is still there. He tries to ignore the confused looks Nobara sends his way during the rest of their session.
“Well, Okkotsu-san is nice, don’t be afraid to approach him. I know sometimes people hold back because of his position in the student council but don’t let that stop you, Inumaki-senpai!”
Toge nods, it’s not Yuuta’s position that holds him back from approaching him, it’s more like the inexplicable aura that seems to surround the other boy.
It’s been a month since Toge first saw Yuuta admiring the flowers. He’s been by almost every other day since but hasn’t managed to muster the courage to go up and talk to him. He tries to justify his decision by telling himself that Yuuta probably doesn’t want to be approached, probably doesn’t want Toge’s company if the expression on his face is anything to go by, and he might not even know sign language. There’s also the fact that Yuuta always seems to be frowning whenever Toge sees him, only adding to Toge’s apprehension. Toge has seen Yuuta around campus, catching a glimpse of him here and there and Yuuta is always smiling and being friendly to those around him, a hard contrast to when Toge finds him alone. If there’s ever been a clear sign from the universe, it’s that one.
But despite everything Toge has learned about Yuuta, he can’t bring himself to stop seeking Yuuta out. He isn’t sure what why that is, but he can’t stop. He thinks his sketch pad is full of drawings of Yuuta at this point given how often Yuuta crosses his mind. Most of them are of Yuuta from the back since that seems to be the only glimpse Toge catches of him. Toge has never felt such a desire to draw someone before, in so much detail until the drawing mimics the person, something about Yuuta calls to him, almost urges him to do it and Toge can’t help but answer the call.
During Toge’s next meeting with Gojo-sensei, Toge tells him that he’s planning on painting a person as his final project, said project that’ll be displayed at the exhibition at the end of the year, something completely different than what he’s created in his last few years in university. Gojo-sensei is beyond thrilled at the news, happy that Toge is stepping out of his comfort zone. Toge only nervously bounces his leg in response, considering he hasn’t even built the courage to even go up to Yuuta and introduce himself. He wonders if he could just paint Yuuta and hope that Yuuta never steps foot into the art building and Toge can remain anonymous forever, but he knows he can’t.
It's the following week when Toge is making his way across the campus that he decides to head towards the center of campus for some peace of mind. Much to his surprise, Yuuta isn’t there this time, so Toge decides to take advantage and sits on the grass to enjoy the sun before his busy day. He settles in for the next hour and pulls out his tablet to doodle to pass the time.
Toge looks toward one of the buildings in the music department, where trees line the sides, creating beautiful scenery and providing the perfect inspiration for his next doodle. Toge starts sketching it almost mindlessly as he puts his headphones in and tries to relax. He’s trying to brainstorm what he and Nobara should work on next during their next study session after they finish their current piece.
He sits there for a while, to the point where his legs are numb, and he has most of the outline done when someone taps him on the shoulder, making him drop the stylus. He frowns, wondering if he’s in the way or something when he looks up and finds himself staring right into Okkotsu Yuuta’s gaze.
Yuuta is taller than Toge had expected him to be up close, his stare is intense, with dark circles under his eyes, and exudes an aura that would send a person running for the hills. Toge holds his breath, thinking that Yuuta is about to call him out for staring at him or worse, having somehow seen Toge’s sketches of him, despite how well hidden he keeps them in his backpack. He imagines it all and expects the worst.
But nothing like that happens, instead, Yuuta’s face morphs from one of frustration to a soft smile. Yuuta gestures towards the tablet in Toge’s lap and Toge scrambles to remove his headphones when he sees Yuuta’s lips moving.
“—drawing is really good,” Yuuta finishes saying as he looks between the tablet and Toge’s face. “You’re very talented.”
Toge swallows as he stares, feeling his face heat up. Slowly, he places his headphones and tablet in his lap.
Thank you, Toge signs, unsure of where this is going to go. His heart is pounding in his chest as he looks up at Yuuta and takes in all his pretty features. Features he’s dreamt of sketching for weeks now, has wondered what Yuuta looked like up close, and how Toge could bring that to life on paper. Yuuta isn’t wearing a suit today, instead, a pair of jeans and a cardigan over a white shirt, making him look soft around the edges. Not that Toge minds seeing Yuuta in a suit, personally, he thinks the other man looks…extremely good and intimating in a suit.
“Of course,” Yuuta says before furrowing his eyebrows as he thinks. “I think—I think I saw you the other day,” he mentions, making Toge’s mouth go dry.
Toge tries to swallow his nerves and not let them show on his face.
“You were painting with one of Megumi’s roommates—Nobara,” Yuuta tells him.
Toge nods. That was definitely him. Oh, God, he always looks so silly when he paints, he gets this funny expression on his face, and if that was when Yuuta saw him, he will simply go ahead and pass away.
“Do you mind if I sit here?” Yuuta asks when he looks over and sees a group of people coming over.
Toge gestures towards the grass and can’t help but look away when Yuuta sits down beside him, most likely staining his jeans.
“Sorry about the intrusion,” Yuuta apologizes, nervously smiling. “That group of students are from the student council and honestly, they’ve been stressing me out today,” he confesses. “This early in the semester, can you believe that?” He shakes his head before sitting straight up as if he’s been shocked. “Oh, I’m sorry, my name is Okkotsu Yuuta,” he introduces himself, looking a little sheepish.
Toge can’t help but smile. Of course, he knows Yuuta. I know you, he signs, dropping his hands into his lap to mess with his headphones in an attempt to look busy.
“You know me?” Yuuta asks, smiling softly at the words.
You understand me? Toge signs, raising his eyebrows in surprise.
“I understand,” Yuuta says. “Thank you, for saving me,” he says as they watch the group that had been coming up to Yuuta walk away. Yuuta turns to look back at Toge. “I know you too, by the way.”
Toge purses his lips, not really believing him. You know me? He signs.
“Of course, I know you, weren’t you one of the people that painted that mural in the school of law last year?” Yuuta asks him, looking amused when Toge flusters as he recalls that yes, he did in fact help paint that mural. “Inumaki Toge.”
It was me, Toge confesses, knowing the tips of his ears are probably turning red. Did you see me paint it? He decides to ask the real question, thinking back to the horrendous outfit he’d worn when he and a few of the other art students were painting the mural. It’d been a green jumper that he’d tried to style with a white jacket that only ended up getting stained in paint much to Maki’s amusement. Really, not his finest moment, considering he’d seen Yuuta in passing during that time, looking prim and proper in dress slacks and a white button up shirt. It’s safe to say Toge had avoided him even back then after Nobara had accidentally doused his hair in paint.
Yuuta nods. “I saw you paint it,” he admits, cocking his head to the side. “I watched you between classes, you did an amazing job.” He grimaces and scrunches his nose. “That sounds creepy now that I say it out loud, doesn’t it?”
No, not creepy at all, Toge signs, thinking to himself that he and Yuuta are even now when it comes to staring. Did you like the mural?
Yuuta’s expression lights up. “I loved it,” he softly admits. “The flowers you painted were beautiful.”
I’ve always loved flowers, Toge admits. I spent a lot of time with my grandmother when I was little, and she had a massive garden. He pulls back before he starts oversharing, knowing that’s a bad habit of his.
“I like flowers, too,” Yuuta confesses. “Rika and I used to pick them when were little, a long time ago,” he says as he picks at the grass. “We would constantly get in trouble with the people in our neighborhood.”
“Rika?” Toge repeats, trying to think if he’s ever heard of anyone with that name in the time he’s been at university.
“Rika is my best friend,” Yuuta explains, smiling at the words. “I met her back when I was little, maybe around four or five? I’ve known her forever if I’m being honest.”
Toge listens because there’s something about the passion and love in Yuuta’s eyes as he talks about Rika that captures his attention. He wants to capture it all on paper, and paint it until it replicates the real thing.
“She’s—she’s great,” Yuuta confesses. “She goes to school here as well but she’s studying to become a nurse, so I don’t see her around campus as much as I’d like to.”
She sounds awesome, Toge signs.
“She is,” Yuuta says, hesitantly reaching out to pick up a strand of Toge’s green and purple bangs. “Your hair is cool,” he compliments Toge. “It really makes the color of your eyes pop.”
You like it? Toge asks him, trying his best to play down his reaction. Most people think his hair is a lot, but most people tend to avoid sticking out, which has never been Toge.
“I’ve always liked purple,” Yuuta admits, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.
They spend the majority of the morning there, talking about random things to the point that Toge has to sprint across campus to get to his next class, but it was all worth it because he got to talk to Yuuta. He still can’t believe it; it doesn’t quite feel real yet.
Toge finds himself over the moon since his interaction with Yuuta. Yuuta is nothing like Toge had imagined. He’d thought the class president was a tad intimating given his demeanor but that’s definitely not the case because Toge has now seen for himself how well-spoken, respectable, and polite Yuuta can be as well as being so approachable. Toge had dismissed the idea of possibly asking Yuuta if he could paint him but now… it doesn’t seem quite as impossible as he had first thought.
Although, there is something about Yuuta that Toge feels like most people tend to overlook. In the past month that Toge has seen him in the center of the campus, Yuuta always seems to look worried, stressed, and gloomy. He wonders why that is because looking at Yuuta’s life from an outside perspective, Yuuta has everything: he’s charismatic, smart, handsome, talented, approachable, and friendly but there seems to be more that dwells under the surface and Toge wonders what that is.
Toge is lost in thought as he skateboards through the campus with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his pants. It’s early May now and the cherry blossoms are almost gone. He’s thinking about one of the rough sketches he’s been working on, one of Yuuta crouched down, admiring the flowers, when he’s caught off guard by someone catching his wrist in a gentle hold.
He exhales, expecting it to be yet another faculty member telling him that skateboarding is prohibited on campus, not that Toge has ever listened to them. But to his surprise, it’s Yuuta, looking awfully apologetic at having startled him.
“Hey,” Yuuta greets Toge, dropping his wrist only when he concludes that Toge isn’t going to stumble onto the ground. “Sorry, I was calling out your name, but I don’t think you heard me.”
Toge shakes his head. No, I didn’t hear you, sorry, he signs, feeling flustered now.
“I don’t normally go this way, but I had a meeting earlier—” Yuuta doesn’t finish explaining, just waves it off. “Would you want to grab a coffee, maybe?”
Toge feels himself go a little pale at the invitation. He didn’t think he’d ever get this far with Yuuta, but he simply nods. They head towards one of the cafes on campus, with Yuuta asking about Toge’s morning, making Toge’s heart skip a beat. They arrive at the café and Toge leaves his skateboard outside as they head inside.
Behind the counter, Toge sees Yuuji, one of Nobara’s roommates behind the counter, looking surprised at seeing Toge and Yuuta together. Oh, this cannot end well because anything and everything that Yuuji sees always somehow ends up getting back to Maki and Nobara.
“Inumaki-san?” Yuuji says, looking between him and Yuuta. “Okkotsu-san?” His eyebrows furrow. “I didn’t know you guys knew each other, well… officially, anyway.”
Officially? Toge thinks, a little confused. Had Nobara already said something to Yuuji about Toge staring at Yuuta during that one studio session? Oh, no, no, no.
Yuuta looks a little frantic at Yuuji’s words. “Um, never mind that, can I get a latte, please?” He orders, practically glaring at Yuuji who doesn’t seem the least bit phased. He looks over at Toge, smiling sheepishly. “Get anything you would like,” He offers. “It’s on me.”
Yuuji doesn’t say anything else, but Toge can see the grin he’s trying so hard to contain bright as day as he turns to take Toge’s order.
Toge feels confused by the interaction even more as he and Yuuta sit down at a table in the café, and he sees the blush on Yuuta’s face. Now, that’s a new reaction he hasn’t seen on Yuuta before, and he would be a liar if he denies how much he likes it.
Toge is in the middle of mixing his acrylic paint a few days later when he’s in another study session with Nobara. He’s trying to blend the right color of the cherry blossoms on the canvas when Nobara asks to borrow his charger for her dying phone. He doesn’t think much of it as he gestures for her to go ahead and get it out of his bag, not realizing his mistake until Nobara gasps.
He drops the tool he was using and turns around, feeling his blood freeze when he sees Nobara holding up his sketch pad with wide eyes. Dammit, he’d forgotten about his sketchpad! He had shoved it in his bag this morning, not caring to close it since he’d been running late, leaving it open to his latest attempt to sketch Yuuta now he has a better gauge of what the other boy looks like.
“Nobara,” Toge warns, seeing the wicked glint in Nobara’s eyes.
“Is—is this Okkotsu-san I see here?” She asks, admiring the sketch and making a run for it when she sees Toge coming after her.
The floor they’re on is mostly made of studios for art students to use for sessions so the hallways are empty for the time being, giving Nobara the whole space to run away as Toge chases her.
“Nobara!” Toge hisses, feeling his cheeks turn pink. He rarely gets embarrassed, considering that he’s had to grow tough skin over the years when he’s gotten his art criticized and has received praise and direct feedback to help him improve. But now, his face must be flushed.
“Inumaki-senpai,” Nobara teases as she dodges his attempts to grab the sketchpad. “I thought you’d said you didn’t know Okkotsu-san.” She holds up the sketch pad. “This kind of says otherwise.”
Toge manages to snag the sketch pad back and hugs it to his chest.
“You know what this makes sense,” Nobara laughs. “Because wouldn’t you know it that Yuuji told me the most interesting thing the other day, about Okkotsu-san and a certain someone I know getting coffee during his last shift.”
Toge will hear none of this! He makes his way back to the studio while keeping his sketchpad close.
“Oh, come on, Inumaki-senpai!” Nobara groans, running after him. She manages to catch up and wraps an arm around Toge, smiling when she sees the blush on his face. “So, you like him, that’s okay!”
Toge shakes his head.
“Yeah, okay, why else would you be sketching him?” Nobara snorts. “Wait!” She stops walking. “You mentioned you were planning on painting a portrait for the exhibit. Are you…?” She gestures toward the sketchpad, jaw going slack once she sees Toge practically run back to the studio.
“Wait!” She runs after him. “This is adorable!” She yells. “Come back here, Inumaki-senpai, we have so much to discuss! I thought you said you didn’t know Okkotsu-san but you’re drawing him? That’s so romantic, oh my gosh!”
Toge proceeds to lock Nobara out of the studio in hopes of avoiding her teasing. He isn’t sure how to even answer, and hasn’t even thought about where he, and Yuuta stand, and how he feels about Yuuta.
Toge walks into his apartment that afternoon and almost walks back out when he sees what awaits him.
“So, it is true!” Maki declares, laughing when she sees Toge almost melt into the floor to avoid looking at her and Nobara.
Toge covers his face to avoid the teasing. “Nobara!” He whines.
“It’s cute!” Nobara insists. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you date before.”
Toge muffles his scream into his hands. “AHH!”
“Yuuji said they went on a coffee date together!” Nobara rats Toge out.
“Oh, is that so?” Maki smiles.
“They’re meant to be, for sure.”
Maki gasps. “You know what Megumi told me the other day?”
Toge contemplates throwing himself out the window.
“That Yuuta has been spending a lot of time with someone new,” Maki lets them know. “Which is a big deal with him, 'cause you know, he’s a little introverted. He seems happier these days, too.”
Toge doesn’t know how to handle this. There is absolutely no way that Yuuta is happier these days because of him, that is not possible!
Despite everything that’s happened over the past few weeks, Toge isn’t sure when things started changing between him and Yuuta. Lately, they’ve been spending more time together. It’s small random outings, sometimes they’ll meet up to study together which mainly consists of Yuuta studying while Toge sketches, always careful to keep his tablet where Yuuta can’t see what he’s drawing on the screen. He still thinks he’d be mortified if Yuuta saw his sketches and Nobara and Maki’s reactions certainly didn’t help boost Toge’s confidence. He knows they mean well but he isn’t going to assume whatever is happening between him and Yuuta is anything beyond friendship, that’s for sure.
He knows that despite the doubt he feels, he still wants to draw Yuuta’s portrait. So, eventually, he’ll have to ask Yuuta about it, but he can’t seem to find the right time or words…signs? when it comes to it. He doesn’t think knows why it’s so difficult, why it feels so intimate to ask such a thing from a friend, a really good friend that he definitely doesn’t like in any other sense of the word, yup. It’s not like he hasn’t been practicing sketching portraits of other people and painting them in preparation for his final project, but they’re not Yuuta and somehow, the lack of passion he has for those portraits becomes apparent when Gojo-sensei looks over his work.
Throughout this whole time, Toge has continued to sketch Yuuta from memory which sadly for him, is nothing like the real thing and does nothing to relieve the urge he feels. Sometimes, Toge will catch himself staring at Yuuta when they’re studying together, trying to mesmerize the shape of his face, the way his hair falls in his face, and the color of his eyes, until Yuuta looks up and meets his gaze, making Toge scramble to look busy.
Other times, Toge will look at Yuuta only to find the other boy frowning, rubbing at his eyes in what seems like desperation and fatigue. Toge will ask him if he’s alright, if he’s drowning in coursework, or the responsibilities bestowed upon him by the student council but every single time without fail, Yuuta will reassure Toge that everything is fine, that he’s fine, that he shouldn’t worry but here’s the thing, Toge can’t help but worry. Sure, he hasn’t known Yuuta long, but he cares about him…maybe more than he should.
Sometimes, Toge thinks Yuuta is like the ocean, he’s beautiful on the surface, which everyone loves to admire from afar, especially when the waves are big, and when the water reflects the sun, only adding to the charm. But rarely do people lurk beneath the surface, past the shore, where the water is dark, cold, and unwelcoming, where the unknown exists, the unexplored part that few aspire to discover. Toge imagines himself standing at the shore, feet in the water, slowly venturing towards the deep until it consumes him. He wants to know Yuuta more, wants to know what he hides, what makes him sad, and what he doesn’t share with those around him, but is also painfully aware of how intimate that must sound.
Today, they’re hanging out in the student center. Yuuta is looking over his laptop, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he skims the screen and types. His phone buzzes on the table and he’s quick to grab it. He frowns as he unlocks it and types away, getting Toge’s attention.
Is everything okay? Toge signs, putting down his stylus he’d been using to doodle on his tablet.
Yuuta nods but Toge doesn’t quite believe it. The more time they spend together, the easier it is for Toge to decipher Yuuta’s expressions. It’s more obvious these days when Yuuta smiles but doesn’t mean it because the expression doesn’t meet his eyes and Toge is fast to catch on, although, he can’t bring himself to call Yuuta out on it. What bases does he have to do such a thing? The last thing he wants is for Yuuta to think he’s overstepping.
“Just Rika,” Yuuta tells him, looking a little more distraught than he had been a few minutes ago. The phony smile on his face long gone.
Toge feels that pull again, the one that urges him to keep digging until he finds what distresses Yuuta so much, but he can’t find the confidence. He hopes he can one day but for now, he leaves the table abruptly after making sure his tablet is locked, leaving behind a confused Yuuta who calls after him only to be shushed by other students and the staff. Toge doesn’t look back and instead heads toward the closest store on campus, making sure to pick up one of Yuuta’s favorite snacks that he’s come to learn over the past few weeks as well as a drink. He remembers snacks used to comfort him when he was young and distressed, although, his fears were fictional, involving ghosts and curses that he swore hid under his bed at night. Yuuta might not need comfort from ghosts and curses, but it doesn’t stop Toge from trying to help.
“Is this for me?” Yuuta asks when Toge dumps the snacks on the table when he returns from his little adventure, making the staff turn to shush him.
Toge nods. To make you feel better, he signs, feeling a genuine smile tug at his lips when Yuuta beams as he reaches for them.
“Thank you,” Yuuta whispers now that they’re both under the death glare of the staff. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
The words seem to send Toge into overdrive, making him smile so wide his lips hurt, and the way Yuuta looks at him certainly does nothing to help ease the feeling. It’s the same feeling he gets whenever he finishes an art piece, making him feel like he’s floating on air and absolutely nothing can bring him down to Earth.
May ends sooner than Toge would like, and June arrives with warm weather. He’s running out of time before he has to ask Yuuta about his final project and since this is a big deal, he needs all the time he can get. He doesn’t have long until summer break and from then, he knows how quickly the fall semester flies by. He just needs to work up his confidence but it’s difficult because Yuuta is intimidating in a way Toge never expected him to be once he got to know him. Sure, Yuuta can look scary when he needs to, like when he’s fulfilling his presidential duties, but Toge thinks Yuuta looks the scariest when he’s dressed up, smiling as he and Toge spend the afternoon together. There’s something so alluring about Yuuta when he’s happy, and confident, it’s proving to be one of Toge’s biggest fantasies.
Toge is on his way back to his apartment after class when he swears, he hears someone calling after him. At first, he thinks it’s probably Maki or Nobara, maybe Megumi or Yuuji who have yet again locked themselves out of their apartment.
He turns around, completely ready to taunt them to hell and back but freezes dead in his tracks when he sees that its Yuuta who is calling him.
“Toge!” Yuuta yells, walking over. He isn’t dressed in a suit like usual, instead, he’s wearing a long sleeve shirt and shorts. “Wait up.”
Toge waves him over, feeling warmer than he did a few minutes ago and he knows it’s not from the sun that’s been pleasantly beating down on him.
“Are you done with classes for the day?” Yuuta asks him, holding up a plastic bag. “I thought maybe we could hang out and have some ice cream?” He offers, looking a little timid as he speaks. “I thought you’d be at the center of campus, but I didn’t find you there, so I asked Megumi. I hope that’s okay?”
Toge nods, feeling touched that Yuuta would go through so much hassle to seek him out. Yeah, that’s okay, he signs, hands clamming with sweat as Yuuta approaches him.
“I had Megumi ask your roommate what your favorite flavor of ice cream was,” Yuuta says, backtracking when he sees Toge’s horrified expression. “I’m sorry! I just realized I didn’t have your phone number and I felt weird asking my mentee for it or having him ask your roommate. I thought I should be the one to ask you.” He stops talking and awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “Oh, God, that sounds weird, right? Yeah, that’s definitely weird.”
Toge walks over and stands in front of Yuuta. “Yuuta!” He gets the other boy’s attention. It’s not weird, he signs, leaving out that all Yuuta really did was give Maki enough ammunition to tease Toge. Normally, Toge would die at the thought but for Yuuta, he’ll bear it all.
He grabs Yuuta’s wrist before he can overthink what he’s about to do and leads him back to his and Maki’s apartment. His heart is beating so fast that Toge swears Yuuta can probably hear it. Oh well, all in the name of like or whatever this is that he feels toward the other boy.
Toge can’t help but awkwardly squeeze his hands when he and Yuuta enter the apartment. He’s never brought anyone here before other than Nobara, but he doesn’t think that counts considering his roommate and mentee are dating. He feels nervous as Yuuta takes off his shoes and looks around the apartment. There are a few of Toge and Nobara’s art pieces hanging on the walls and suddenly, Toge feels extremely self-cautious about them. There’s something that feels so utterly intimate about Yuuta walking over and looking at them, even worse when he runs his fingers over the papers and canvases.
“You did this one?” Yuuta asks, pointing toward a painting Toge did after a vacation he and his family took to Okinawa. It’s a painting of the seashore.
Toge nods, not being able to move from where he stands.
“It’s beautiful,” Yuuta compliments him. “Wow, it’s almost like looking at a picture, you’re very talented.”
Toge’s face flares worse than it does during the holidays when his parents gift his family members pieces of his art. He tries to play it off by offering Yuuta something to drink.
“I like the beach,” Yuuta confesses as they unwrap their ice creams and head to Toge’s room. “I used to go when I was little.” He furrows his eyebrows as he looks down at the ice cream. “But it’s been a long time.”
Toge sits down on the floor, gesturing for Yuuta to join him. He turns on the fan in his room, so they don’t die of heat. Why? Toge asks him, well, signs to the best of his abilities while he holds the ice cream and tries not to let it drip down his arm.
Yuuta smiles, looking endeared at the sight of Toge. “I used to go with my friend’s family—Rika if you remember from when I mentioned her. They would invite me during summer breaks from school but—” he stops talking and shakes his head. “It wasn’t possible anymore after a while.”
Toge nods as he listens. He notices Yuuta’s expression became gloomy, something he’s come to learn to hate. He likes it when Yuuta is happy, when he smiles and seems to genuinely enjoy himself, not when he’s sad and plasters a fake expression on his face.
He wants to ask what happened to stop the trips to the ocean but doesn’t feel like they’re close enough to do such a thing.
“Oh, is this your sketchpad?” Yuuta asks and suddenly, Toge’s shoving the ice cream in his mouth so he can crawl over and practically throw himself on top of Yuuta to pry the sketchpad out of his hands before he can stop himself. Yuuta absolutely cannot see what is inside that sketchpad, no, absolutely not. Toge thinks he might actually die from embarrassment if Yuuta sees all of the sketches he has of the other boy, not to mention what kind of reaction Yuuta might have.
Toge looks down and finds Yuuta looking up at him with wide eyes and appearing extremely frazzled. The ice cream is cold in Toge’s mouth, and he isn’t sure how much longer he can keep it inside. But what truly gets Toge’s attention is the position they’re currently in, with Yuuta having fallen back and Toge sitting in his lap, holding the sketchpad out of his reach.
The ice cream drips from Toge’s mouth onto Yuuta’s chin, slowly sliding down onto his shirt. It’s silent as Yuuta keeps his gaze locked onto Toge and no one dares to speak. Toge isn’t sure what’s worse, having Yuuta see his sketches or being in Yuuta’s lap, both seem like they’re the end of the world, but he can’t deny how nice it feels to be nestled in Yuuta’s lap, with his legs barricading the other boy’s thighs to keep him in place. Yuuta’s face is so close like this and Toge can’t stop from running his eyes all over it, trying his best to mesmerize it. The moment feels so intimate and Toge can’t help but lean closer. Yuuta doesn’t seem to shy away either as he leans up.
“Toge, I—,” Yuuta whispers, hesitantly reaching a hand up to settle it on Toge’s hip but that’s far he gets because the sound of the front door opening bursts the bubble they’re currently in and causes them to separate as if they’ve been doused in ice cold water.
“Okkotsu-san! Are you here?” Yuuji calls from the living room, only to be silenced after a minute by two voices that sound like Nobara and Maki.
Toge sits back on his knees and looks over at Yuuta, half expecting the other boy to look angry or upset but instead finds him looking nervous. Why does he look nervous? Toge should be nervous, he just smeared ice cream all over Yuuta’s face.
“Yuuta,” Toge mumbles, grabbing a spare t-shirt and slowly crawling over to wipe the ice cream off Yuuta’s face. I’m sorry, he signs after he’s finished, and he’s tossed the t-shirt to the other side of the room.
“Hey, it’s alright,” Yuuta reassures him, words light. “I think that vanilla might be my new favorite flavor.”
And with that, Toge can’t help the blush that spreads all over his face. But Yuuta seems to heal the burn because he starts laughing softly at the sight.
Maki doesn’t hesitate to come into Toge’s room later that night. “Toge,” she says from the doorway.
Toge doesn’t answer and instead continues to lie face down in the bed and contemplates suffocating himself to death.
“Come, on you big baby,” Maki mumbles, walking into the room and turning off his fan which immediately gets his attention.
Toge sits up and crosses his arms. “Maki,” he hisses.
Maki rolls her eyes but doesn’t hesitate to join him on the bed. “What’s wrong?” She asks him. She only narrows her eyes when Toge shakes his head. “Yeah, you’re not fooling anyone pouting around like that. I could sense something was wrong the moment Yuuta practically ran out of here. Which by the way how did that happen?” She asks.
Toge falls back onto the bed and stares at the ceiling. “Megumi,” he answers.
“Is that why Yuuta wanted to know your favorite ice cream?” She asks before gasping. “Oh, he’s totally into you.”
Toge sits up and frowns. No, he isn’t, he signs. We’re just friends.
They are, they’re just friends, excluding whatever happened earlier, that was weird. Not that it was bad weird, it was good which seems to be what’s causing all the turmoil inside of Toge.
“Yeah, okay, whatever,” Maki sighs. “Did something happen when he was over? Is that why you’re so down?” She asks. “Did you ask him about the painting?”
Toge shakes his head. I can’t bring myself to ask him. I feel nervous. What if he thinks it’s weird?
Maki contemplates what he just said before she answers. “I think you feel nervous about asking him because you like him,” she confesses.
“Maki!” Toge mumbles, feeling his cheeks heat up. But he doesn’t deny it, not in the least. He knows there’s something special about Yuuta. Why else is he having such a dilemma about crawling on Yuuta’s lap and smearing ice cream all over him? Why else does he get so flustered whenever Yuuta smiles at him or when they have lunch together? Really, any moment of time they spend together.
Maki shrugs. “It’s not a bad thing,” she comforts him. “He’s clearly into you as well, might as well save him the trouble of having to confess to you and make a fool of himself. He’s already halfway there with asking people where to find you and what you like to eat.”
Toge frowns. He would not make a fool of himself, he signs, feeling oddly put out by Maki’s words.
“Of course not, he’s perfect,” Maki huffs, grinning. “How could I ever forget?” She laughs. “Toge, come on, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with liking him, why else would you feel so compelled to paint him?” She asks. “Seems kind of romantic to me, I don’t know.”
Toge grumbles and falls forward to bury his face in his hands.
“It is romantic!” Maki laughs, making Toge want to disappear and never return.
Toge shakes his head, it definitely is not romantic.
“You’re so cute having a crush on the student body president,” Maki confesses. “Look, even your ears got red!”
Toge throws caution to the wind and attempts to suffocate his best friend with a pillow.
Yuuta lays back on the grass, groaning as he stretches out. It’s hot today and Toge and Yuuta are spending the afternoon in the center of the campus underneath a tree to avoid the sun.
“It’s so hot,” Yuuta sighs, throwing an arm over his eyes to block out the sun.
Toge laughs from where he sits beside Yuuta. He’s sketching again, nothing fancy, just whatever comes to mind. It’s nice, to spend time with Yuuta and enjoy the day, even if it is hot outside. He’d rather be here than anywhere else.
Yuuta turns to look at Toge with a smile on his face. “Yeah, what’s so funny about that?” He asks, teasingly poking Toge in the side.
Toge shakes his head as he keeps sketching, pretending that Yuuta’s teasing doesn’t affect him.
Yuuta sits up when his phone starts buzzing, smile evaporating off his face when he reads the screen. He sighs as he unlocks his phone and starts typing away.
Toge can’t help but watch Yuuta out of the corner of his eye. He puts down the pencil and sketchpad. Everything okay? He asks once Yuuta looks over and meets his gaze.
“Yeah, it’s just some of the members of the student council,” Yuuta answers, laying down back. “They’re always going on about something. It feels like they forget we’re just the student council, you know? It’s not like we run the actual country.”
You always seem so stressed about it, Toge signs. Why did you run for president in the first place? He asks, genuinely curious. Of course, he thinks Yuuta is a good student body president, but he’s never quite gotten the impression that Yuuta enjoys the job, if anything, it seems like more of an obligation.
Yuuta sighs as he folds his arms behind his head to lean on them. “It’s a long story,” he confesses, chuckling when he looks over and sees Toge gesture for him to continue. “Well, as you know, I’m majoring in law, right?”
Toge nods, leaning back on his hands to listen.
“There’s a lot of expectations I place on myself, I guess since I got into university, maybe even before that. I wanted to study law because I want to be a lawyer in the future to help people, which doesn’t everyone, right?” He says. “I want to do good because in my mind failure is not an option, it hasn’t been for a long time. I feel a responsibility to achieve everything I can and do as many things as possible, but it never feels like enough. It seems silly when I say it out loud but it’s how I’ve chosen to live my life. Sometimes, it’s not easy. I take on a lot with my major, with my extracurriculars, being student body president, and mentoring, and sometimes, it weighs on me, but I can’t help but do it.”
Toge frowns, moving closer to Yuuta. Why? He asks. You’re a great student, I don’t think anyone would be upset if you cut back.
“I would be upset,” Yuuta confesses. “It’s hard to feel satisfied with myself.”
But you’re amazing, Toge signs, placing a hand on Yuuta’s knee.
“I’m not,” Yuuta sighs. “I’m far from it.” He frowns. “The fact that you think that—” he shakes his head. “I did something, a really long time ago, Toge, and it’s tainted me. You’d hate me if you knew.”
Toge clicks his tongue. As if he could ever hate Yuuta. He gives Yuuta’s knee a hard squeeze to let him know just how silly he sounds.
“You would—you will.” He sighs. “When I was little, maybe six or seven, Rika and I were playing down the street at the park, just like we always did. I had this ball; it was red, and you could kick it around or toss it up like a volleyball. I loved this ball so much and one day, Rika kicked it across the park, and it went over the fencing. I got mad at her and told her to go get it even though she and I both knew we weren’t supposed to go past the park’s fencing. I started crying because the ball didn’t stop and was only getting further away so Rika hopped the fence and went after it. I followed after her and she ran across the street to get the ball.”
Yuuta stops talking for a moment and Toge gives him another squeeze of encouragement. Toge can see the tears running down Yuuta’s cheeks even if Yuuta isn’t facing him. He doesn’t comment on it though, wanting to hear everything Yuuta has to say.
“Rika didn’t look both ways before she crossed and suddenly, a car come out of nowhere on the road and hit her. I just stood there and watched it happen. I almost didn’t believe it, you know? My parents had warned me about how cars never seemed to stop and how people didn’t abide by the speed limit, but I never took them seriously. You feel like you know everything when you’re young,” Yuuta confesses, the hurt is thick in his voice, making Toge’s own eyes glaze over with tears.
“Everything happened so quickly after that. Rika was taken to the hospital and the man was arrested. I remember my parents gave me the scolding of a lifetime after that, but I deserved it. Rika survived but she suffered a spinal injury and she’s been in a wheelchair since that happened. The driver of the car paid a few fees here and there and he was out of jail.” Yuuta shakes his head in frustration. “Can you believe that? He hit a little girl and paralyzed her and all he had to do was hand over money and he was set free? Ridiculous.”
Is she the reason you want to be a lawyer? He asks, reaching up and gently wrapping his hand around one of Yuuta’s wrists. He wipes away Yuuta’s tears with his thumb with his other hand.
“She’s the reason I do a lot of things,” Yuuta admits. “I want to do better for her. I don’t want to waste any opportunity when I feel like I’ve taken all of hers away because of one stupid red ball.” He grabs Toge’s hand and intertwines their fingers. “Sometimes, it feels wrong to feel happy,” he says. “But I want to learn to live my life eventually. Of course, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing but over the last few months, I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t mean I have to lose myself in my process.”
Toge nods, feeling his mouth go dry at the feeling of Yuuta’s hand around his. It’s a nice feeling, one he wants to remember forever. “Yuuta,” he mumbles, scooting closer until his knee is bumping against Yuuta’s stomach since Yuuta is still laid back on the grass.
Yuuta lets go of Toge’s hand and turns to give him his full attention. “What is it?”
Thank you, Toge signs. For telling me about this.
Yuuta gives him a soft smile. “Thank you for listening.” He reaches over and picks up Toge’s hand again, caressing the back of Toge’s hand with his thumb. “I have to admit, since I met you, I’ve felt a lot happier and it’s a feeling I didn’t think I’d feel again for a long time.”
Ever since Yuuta asked Megumi and Maki about him, Toge has made it his sole mission to make sure he and Yuuta exchange their contact information. He thinks he might actually disintegrate if Maki gets any more dirt on him. He knows she means well but he’s yet to admit that he might actually like Yuuta a little more than he should.
Today, he’s decided to go see Yuuta after class, totally platonic, just bringing him a latte since he knows Yuuta had a hard day. Yuuta said he would be home in the late afternoon, so Toge strategically planned to come over at that time since he’s never been to Yuuta’s apartment or knows who the boy rooms with. Toge almost sikes himself out of going but Yuuji had been the one to make his order so he can’t go home and face Maki, much less if Nobara, Yuuji, and Megumi are over, that seems like a death sentence.
Besides, Yuuta is always buying him coffee and Toge wants to return the gesture which is why he’d nonchalantly asked Yuuta where he lived the other day when they were messaging back and forth one night. Toge knows he could’ve asked Megumi but despite how reserved Megumi is, Toge is sure that there are absolutely no secrets when it comes to him, Nobara, and Yuuji and whatever that trio knows always gets back to Maki. Toge likes teasing and rarely does he enjoy being on the receiving end of it unless it’s Yuuta. Then, that’s alright.
So, he musters all the courage inside of him as he walks up to Yuuta’s apartment building and walks around the ground level trying to find his apartment.
Oh, God, what is he doing? He thinks to himself, quickly losing the confidence the closer he gets. No, no, he can do this, of course, he can.
His heart is beating so fast in his chest and his palms are getting sweaty, almost causing him to drop the drink in his hand. Why does he feel so nervous? The worst thing that could happen is for Yuuta to say he’s busy and send Toge away. Which should be fine, totally wouldn’t shatter Toge’s heart or ruin his whole day, it’s not as if he’s been planning this since the night before.
“What are you doing?”
Toge practically drops the latte at the sound of someone approaching.
He turns around and is met with a girl leaning out of one of the apartment doors, she’s pretty low, indicating that she’s sitting down as she peeks her head out.
Toge freezes, unsure of what to do. He probably looks like a nervous mess, of course someone would find it weird that some random person is pacing in front of their hallway. Oh, God, what if she calls the police? That would be mortifying.
“Are you lost?” She asks, rolling out of the doorway and more into the hallway, revealing her wheelchair. “Are you looking for someone?”
Toge nods. “Yuuta,” he lamely says.
“Yuuta?” She repeats, eyebrows furrowed.
Oh, God, did Toge get the wrong apartment building? How embarrassing…
Suddenly, a smile spreads on the girl’s face and she nods. “Oh, you’re Toge, right?”
He nods.
“Yuuta isn’t back yet, I think his meeting ran late,” she explains. “But you can come inside and wait for him.” She gestures for Toge to follow her inside. “I’m Rika, by the way.”
Oh. Oh.
That makes a lot of sense now that Toge thinks about it.
Toge scurries after her into the apartment, feeling himself relax a little now that he isn’t wandering the hallway like some weirdo. He makes sure to take off his shoes and lines them up next to a pair he’s seen Yuuta wear before.
“Yuuta has told me a lot about you,” Rika confesses as she moves to the kitchen.
Toge cocks his head to the side, not really believing it.
“I’m serious,” Rika laughs. “He’s not the type of person that opens up to just anyone, you know, so I was surprised when he mentioned he’d approached you.”
Toge sits down at the table across from Rika. He startles lightly when she pulls off a small whiteboard on the fridge and slides it over to him.
“We use it to write important dates and groceries but feel free to use it,” Rika offers. “I know you don’t speak and I don’t know sign, sorry about that.”
Toge takes the whiteboard and puts his hands up, shaking his head to assure her it's fine.
“You’re cute, I can see why Yuuta likes you,” she confesses, laughing lightly when she sees Toge fluster. “I don’t know if he told you, but I think it was last year when you painted the mural in the law building. He wouldn’t shut up about that, you know.”
He told me about it, kind of. Toge writes on the board, smudging some of it with the tip of his finger to fight the nerves.
“Oh, did he?” She asks, nodding. “I’m surprised, he’s normally shy about that kind of stuff, crushes and whatever. Yuuta is…well he’s my best friend but he carries a lot of guilt over what happened to me when we were little.”
Toge hurries to erase the board and write something new. You don’t have to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.
Rika waves him off. “I’m not,” she assures him. “I’ve adjusted and honestly, I’ve spent more time in a wheelchair than I did walking so it’s the new normal for me. I know people who aren’t in my situation will look at me and think ‘oh, poor girl,’ or some shit like that but I can do almost everything you can do. Sure, sometimes I require a few modifications, but it hasn’t stopped me from living my life. I go to university like most people my age, I go out with my friends, and do things, people, our age do. I’m happy,” she confesses before sighing. “Of course, I’ve had a long time to come to terms with this, and there was a lot of therapy to help.”
Toge nods, letting her know he’s listening.
“Yuuta hasn’t really let himself process what happened,” Rika explains. “He feels guilty, I know he does. Of course, he went to therapy and both of our parents told him it was okay, but it hasn’t been easy for him. he feels so much guilt and pressure to not waste an opportunity, but I know he isn’t happy, you know. He piles so much on himself and plasters a smile on his face, so people don’t suspect something is wrong but it’s obvious, isn’t it?”
Toge nods, looking down at the table. It’s so obvious and Toge hates that not many people notice it.
“He rarely does things that make him happy, that he genuinely wants to do. Of course, I’m happy that he has achieved so much, he’s so smart but I think to myself sometimes, is that what he truly wants to do? Personally, I don’t think so,” she confesses. “But this year…he met you, well officially, and I know it’s something small, but it’s really improved his mood and his mindset. I think spending time with you has shown him that it’s alright to let himself enjoy life and pull back a little from all he does.”
“Rika,” Toge inhales, feeling himself getting choked up.
Rika smiles. “I like you for him,” she admits. “You make him happy and it’s all I’ve ever wanted for him; I love him, and I want him to meet someone that loves him as much as I do.” She moves closer. “I know you guys are friends but it’s obvious you guys like each other, I mean come on, who else would you walk all the way here to drop off a latte?” She points out, reaching forward to pinch Toge’s cheek when his expression turns into one of panic. “You guys are so similar, it’s funny.”
They both turn towards the door when Yuuta walks in, looking extremely tired and put out.
“Hey, Rika, I’m back,” Yuuta says as he takes his shoes off and walks further into the apartment, stopping when his eyes land on Toge. “Oh, Toge, hi.” His face breaks out into a massive smile, one that definitely reaches his eyes. “What are you doing here?”
Rika starts retreating into the hallway. “I found him roaming out in the hallway, so I invited him in.”
Yuuta narrows his eyes at his best friend. “Rika, what did you say to him?” He asks but his tone is teasing and a bit nervous.
Rika sticks her tongue out. “I didn’t say anything to him!” She smiles. “Anyway, I’m going out with Miwa and Momo later so I’m going to get ready, see ya later lovebirds!”
Yuuta and Toge both look over at each other, eyes wide. Toge can’t help but smile at the horrified expression on Yuuta’s face and it seems to calm Yuuta’s nerves.
“Don’t mind her,” Yuuta says at the same time Toge speaks.
“Yuuta,” Toge mumbles, holding up the latte.
“Is that for me?” Yuuta asks.
Toge nods and stands up, handing the cup to Yuuta.
“You didn’t have to do this,” Yuuta confesses but smiles at the gesture. “But thank you, it was a long day, and it helps a lot—seeing you and the latte.”
Toge feels his cheeks burn and his smile widens at the confession. He looks over and sees Rika in the hallway, making a heart with her hands as she watches them.
“I think you’re getting really good,” Nobara compliments while she flips through Toge’s sketchpad as they finish another study session.
Since Nobara has seen Toge’s sketchpad of Yuuta once before, he doesn’t stop her this time as she pulls it out of his bag.
“Each one looks better than the last,” she says, biting her tongue as she grins when she gets to a sketch of Yuuta that Toge drew a heart on. “Oh, this one is precious.”
Toge rolls his eyes as he cleans up his things.
“Have you asked him yet?” Nobara asks, putting the sketchpad back into Toge’s bag.
Toge nibbles on his bottom lip and shakes his head.
“You’re running out of time,” she reminds him. “Besides, I don’t see him saying no,” she tries to reassure him. “You’re only nervous because you think he’s cute, which that’s your taste, but he won’t say no, there’s absolutely no way he’ll say no. I think he’ll like it!” She smiles. “Megumi told me the other day that Okkotsu-san had asked him who you were when he saw you painting the mural. Sounds like he likes you too, Inumaki-senpai.”
Toge sighs. I feel nervous, he signs, admitting what he’s been thinking for the past few weeks. I don’t know how to ask him about the painting or— he waves his hands around to indicate the uneasiness he feels. I don’t know how to tell him how I feel.
Nobara tongues her cheek as she thinks. “I think you should start slow. Maybe ask him about the painting and slowly ease your way into confessing to him?” She suggests. “That way if he did say no, which I highly doubt, you can save yourself from getting your heart broken. But trust me on this, Inumaki-senpai! I’ve seen the way he looks at you, how often he asks Megumi about you, he wouldn’t do those things if he didn’t like you, trust me.”
July arrives sooner than Toge would like, and he knows that the time to ask Yuuta has arrived. He cannot keep going around in circles anymore, he just has to get it over with. The sooner, the better. They have summer vacation coming up at the beginning of August then, when they return in October, Toge knows he’ll have to dedicate most of his time to his portrait. Gojo-sensei already thinks he’s been working toward it, and he might actually toss Toge into the infinite void if he learns that Toge has not even started on it, well, aside from sketching Yuuta day in and day out.
Toge decides that today is the day he’s going to ask Yuuta. He messages Yuuta and invites him to the building where he and Nobara have their studio sessions since there’s AC and they won’t melt in the heat of summer. Nobara had suggested Toge bring Yuuta to the studio session since Yuuta has proclaimed time and time again that he likes Toge’s art, a lot. Whenever Yuuta compliments his art, it makes Toge feel warm on the inside, makes him want to be a better artist, and have Yuuta shower him with praise for the rest of his life. If only.
“I’ve never been in this building before,” Yuuta says as he walks into the studio, holding two cold drinks in his hands. “It’s so bright in here,” he comments, looking around the place.
Toge waves at him in greeting. He’s just finished painting a canvas he’s going to let dry. It isn’t anything out of this world, it’s a painting of some of the flowers that just recently bloomed on campus he did for a class assignment.
“Did you just finish that?” Yuuta asks, walking over to stand in front of the canvas. He looks down at it and smiles as he takes in all the details.
Toge nods, feeling the nerves return yet again. It’s difficult not to feel this way, especially with how close Yuuta is to him. Yuuta smells nice, like the library he spends the majority of his time in, he’s tall as well, looming over Toge.
“It’s lovely,” Yuuta praises him, making Toge feel warm on the inside.
Really, Toge needs to get a grip. He and Yuuta are just friends, nothing more, nothing less. But it’s hard because Yuuta looks like every one of Toge’s fantasies come to life, from the way he smiles, how kind he is, how shy he can be from time to time, and how stunning he looks when the sunlight that comes through the windows in the studio illuminates his face.
Toge wrings out his hands in an effort to calm down. “Yuuta,” he says, gesturing toward the two stools in the room. Let’s sit, he signs, smiling in thanks when Yuuta gives him one of the cold drinks.
“What’s up?” Yuuta asks, expression confused as he looks at Toge. “Is everything alright?”
Toge nods to reassure him. Yes, yes, it’s fine, I just wanted to ask you something.
Yuuta relaxes at that and takes the bottlecap off his drink to take a sip. “I’m listening.”
Toge purses his lips as he thinks about how to phrase what he’s about to ask. Why does he feel so nervous? This is Yuuta, he knows Yuuta, and he trusts him.
“You’re making me nervous here,” Yuuta teases, setting down his drink on the floor by his feet. “I haven’t felt this anxious since student body president election results got announced.”
“Yuuta,” Toge says, running his tongue along his bottom lip. He looks right at Yuuta, remembering how compelled he felt to paint him the first time he saw Yuuta, how he’s only dreamt of doing so for months now, and that possibility is so close within his reach. It’s so quiet in the studio that Toge swears he can feel the blood rushing through his ears. He misses the loud music Nobara plays whenever they paint together.
“You know you can tell me anything,” Yuuta swears, moving his stool closer to where Toge’s is.
Toge nods, of course, he knows. I want to paint you, he signs, feeling his hands tremble a little.
“What?” Yuuta asks, cocking his head to the side. “You want to…paint me?”
Toge looks down at the floor to avoid looking at Yuuta, feeling his face burn red. He nods slowly, feeling the silence fall so heavily over them.
“Hey.” Yuuta comes closer and puts a finger under Toge’s chin to make him look up. “I would be honored to be painted by you,” he confesses, smiling.
Toge swallows, feeling his lips part at how close their faces are. Yuuta looks magnificent this closely. They haven’t been this close since the ice cream incident.
“Is that what you wanted to ask me?” Yuuta whispers, letting go of Toge’s chin. He gives Toge a soft smile and Toge can’t resist the smiling back.
Toge nods.
“All you had to do was ask,” Yuta reassures him, staying close.
Suddenly, the AC in the room doesn’t feel as cold because Toge is burning hot. He can’t help but look between Yuuta’s eyes and lips. It feels right, feels like he should lean closer. Yuuta doesn’t seem opposed as he stays close. Toge doesn’t realize he’s leaning closer, nor does he notice that Yuuta reaches forward and puts his hand on Toge’s waist to hold him steady.
It doesn’t feel real, Toge almost thinks he’s dreaming because is this actually happening?
“Inumaki-senpai!” Nobara’s voice rings out from the hallway. “Did you ask him?”
Toge startles and falls off the stool before he can stop himself. He’s closing his eyes as he waits for impact. It’s not his first time falling off a stool in the studio, so he knows at worst, he’ll be sore but much to his surprise, he doesn’t make it to the ground because Yuuta leans over and wraps his arm around Toge’s waist, keeping him from falling.
Nobara chooses that moment to walk in, stopping at the threshold as she takes in the scene before her. “Oh,” she gasps. “I—I did not mean to interrupt!”
Normally, Toge would chase her around campus for this but he’s a little too busy being wrapped in Yuuta’s arm, too busy feeling Yuuta’s body heat seep through his clothes, and he can’t enjoy how much he likes it.
“Are you okay?” Yuuta asks him, helping set Toge on the stool again. “You scared me, I thought you were going to fall.”
Toge nods, eyes wide and heart beating so fast, he’s positive it’s about to give out.
Nobara slowly makes her way out of the room, covering her mouth in surprise.
Much to Toge’s delight, he learns that Yuuta will be staying on campus for summer break with the occasional weekend visit home. Toge just so happens to be staying on campus as well, really, what are the odds?
Toge is ecstatic at being able to spend the summer with Yuuta. Sure, they’re just friends but it’s nice, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.
“Let me see,” Yuuta grumbles from where he lays on Toge’s bedroom floor.
Toge huffs and shakes his head as he sketches a portrait of Yuuta, this one he has references for from every angle, all thanks to Yuuta who let Toge take pictures of him, and the real thing sitting a few feet away from him. Toge told Yuuta he was not going to show him the portrait was finished and painted. He sure as hell isn’t going to show Yuuta any of his sketches that look more like chicken scratch at this point.
“Why not?” Yuuta asks, leaning against the bed and reaching forward to poke at Toge’s thigh. “It’s a picture of me, isn’t it?”
Toge nods but doesn’t give it. He turns the tablet away from Yuuta to make his answer clear.
“Mean,” Yuuta teases, sliding his fingertips across Toge’s thigh.
Toge laughs and starts to feel hot under Yuuta’s touch.
“You think this is funny?” Yuuta asks, continuing his torture.
Toge shrugs and refuses to give in to the teasing. He feels so content as of late, having Yuuta here with him and being able to spend time together. Yuuta has been looking happier lately as well, only adding to the charm. Really, how did Toge get so lucky, he wonders?
“Just a peek,” Yuuta whispers, his laptop long abandoned on Toge’s bedroom floor.
Toge refuses to give in, despite the pleading expression on Yuuta’s face. He shakes his head and sticks his tongue out at Yuuta.
“Oh, you’re so bad,” Yuuta laughs, pulling Toge down by the thigh.
Toge practically shrieks and starts trying to kick Yuuta away, smiling so big his face starts to hurt. He manages to lock his tablet and keep it out of Yuuta’s reach. Yuuta succeeds in pulling him down until Toge is sitting on the edge of the bed. Yuuta smiles, leaning against the bed just a few inches away from Toge’s lap.
“You’ll show me one day?”
When it’s finished, Toge signs. Not now, it’s not done. It doesn’t look good yet.
“I doubt that,” Yuuta argues. “I’ve seen your other sketches and paintings and I’ve never seen you make something less than amazing.”
Toge groans and covers his face as he falls back on the bed.
“It’s true!” Yuuta claims. “I’ve never met someone as talented as you,” he promises.
Toge doesn’t know how he’s going to survive only being Yuuta’s friend. He should feel content with friendship but the selfish part of him craves more, especially when Yuuta looks at him like that.
It’s a few weeks later and Toge and Yuuta are in the studio session again. Gojo-sensei gave Toge permission to use it during the summer and of course, Toge brought Yuuta along. They’re working in silence with Toge painting to get out of a funk he’s been in for a couple of days. He’s painting what he loves: flowers. He and Yuuta have been getting together every other night when time allows it to watch movies together in hopes of giving Toge some artistic inspiration.
They watched Avatar the first night, a movie about an alien planet with such vivid colors that left Toge itching to replicate that. The Lord of the Rings trilogy was next, one of Toge’s favorites that Yuuta had never seen before so of course, they absolutely had to watch it! Toge has gotten inspiration from the movies before and they’re definitely things that help ease the lack of creativity he gets from time to time. The Revenant was next, it was a movie Yuuta had suggested after a quick internet search. The movie’s scenery was beautiful, truly, but the storyline itself left Toge a little queasy and he and Yuuta sitting practically squished together, not that either of them seemed to mind.
But the movie that seemed to stick with both of them was Into the Wind, an older movie about a guy who leaves everything behind to travel the wilderness. It led Yuuta and Toge into having a long conversation that spanned late into the night, asking each other if they would leave everything behind to travel the world. Toge said he might, he couldn’t imagine the type of references he could get for future creations and Yuuta didn’t seem to mind taking a break from his hectic life to relax and maybe find himself.
That conversation hasn’t left Toge’s mind. He’s running through it when Yuuta closes his laptop and walks over, rubbing his eyes after having stared at the screen for so long.
Toge frowns, wondering how long they’ve been working. The sun is about to set, a hard contrast to when they arrived after having grabbed lunch together.
“You know, I was thinking about that movie we watched last night,” Yuuta confesses, looking at what Toge is currently working on. “How nice it must feel to be free to do as you want.”
Toge nods as he sets down his paintbrush, wondering where Yuuta is going with this.
“It made me realize how much I’ve felt like I have been holding myself back,” Yuuta sighs. “It sounds silly now that I say it out loud.”
Toge stands up and cleans his hands with his apron. It’s not silly, he signs, not wanting Yuuta to fall back into that sadness he was so deep in when they first met.
“You’re right,” Yuuta says, turning to stand in front of Toge. “But I’ve come to the realization that I don’t want to hold myself back anymore. I’m not saying I’m dropping out of school and backpacking through the wilderness, but I just want to do things that make me happy.” He reaches up and wipes underneath Toge’s eye with his thumb. “You have paint on your face.’ He rubs the paint away, keeping his hand on Toge’s face as he cups his cheek. “Cute.”
Toge nibbles on his bottom lip, feeling Yuuta’s thumb leave a scorching trial in its wake. He doesn’t want to make the reaction Yuuta has on him obvious, but he doesn’t seem to be doing a good job if the smile Yuuta bestows upon him, is any indicator.
“Toge,” Yuuta whispers, hands moving up to cup Toge’s cheeks. “I like you, a lot, and I would really like to kiss you, if that’s okay with you.”
Toge feels his mouth go dry at the question and he almost thinks he misheard because there’s absolutely no way Yuuta just confessed to him and asked to kiss him. His eyelids flutter as Yuuta stares down at him and he decides to throw caution to the wind and nod.
It’s soft, with their lips barely brushing against each other and it tastes like vanilla ice cream, but it still makes Toge weak in the knees. It makes Toge’s head spin and gives him that same satisfaction from when he manages to mix paint together and gets the desired result on the first try. Yuuta smiles into the kiss and Toge can’t stop himself from wrapping one hand around Yuuta’s wrist to keep him close.
If Toge thought being friends with Yuuta was surreal, then kissing him is truly divine. Suddenly, Toge feels inspired to paint a million canvases, to fill the room with art until it bursts at the seams, and his hands ache from holding the paintbrush. He wants to convey this moment in art, wants to keep it forever and make it tangible so he can look back on it forever.
October comes and with it, university is back in session. Toge is happy to see Rika again since she’d gone back home for the summer, as well as Maki, Nobara, Yuuji, and Megumi are back. He is a little sad that he no longer gets Yuuta to himself. The summer had been fun, undeniably one he’ll remember for a long time, it ended far too soon.
They’re all huddled in Yuuta and Rika’s apartment watching a movie before the semester starts tomorrow. Yuuji and Megumi are sitting on the floor, sharing the snacks while Nobara and Maki are sharing the loveseat, Toge and Yuuta are squished together on one end of the bigger couch to make room for Rika to spread out on the other side.
Howl’s Moving Castle is playing, one of Rika’s favorites. She’d insisted on it being what they watched tonight when Toge had confessed he’d never seen the movie. It’s a good movie, Toge has to admit, and the love story is cute, making him glance at Yuuta every other second.
Maki catches Toge staring and can’t resist the urge to stir up trouble. Toge rolls his eyes when he sees Maki and Rika exchange a devious glance, considering that Toge had told them what had gone down between him and Yuuta over the summer.
“I heard something the other day,” Maki says once the movie concludes.
“Yeah, what did you hear?” Yuuji asks, stretching his arms over his head.
“So, you guys know Todo Aoi?” Maki asks, leaning her head against Nobara’s shoulder who looks half asleep.
“Oh, Todo-senpai!” Yuuji exclaims, startling Nobara out of sleep. “He’s my gym bro!”
“I heard he was asking around for Toge’s number,” Maki mumbles, looking away when Rika starts crackling.
“What?” Megumi huffs. “No way, really?” He turns toward Toge. “Are you interested in him Inumaki-san?”
“He’s cute, you should go for it,” Rika comments, biting the tip of her tongue when Yuuta frowns.
“Oh, for sure,” Nobara smiles, looking between Toge and Yuuta. “I mean unless Inumaki-senpai isn’t single.”
Toge glares at the three of them.
“I think he’s single,” Maki comments.
“For sure,” Rika agrees, looking away when Yuuta turns to look at her.
“Unless we’re wrong,” Nobara suggests. “We could always let Todo-san Inumaki-senpai isn’t single…”
Rika and Maki nod in agreement, looking at Yuuta now.
Toge can’t believe them, he knows exactly what they’re doing. The nerve but part of him is equally interested to see what Yuuta says, not that he’s expecting anything.
Yuuta huffs and turns to look at Toge. Toge doesn’t get a chance to react before Yuuta pulls him in for a quick kiss that ignites the teasing of the century, but Toge doesn’t care too much because Yuuta’s hand settles on his waist, pulling him further.
“Oooh, definitely not single then,” Rika mumbles.
“Holy shit,” Yuuji inhales.
Maki and Nobara start laughing and even Megumi joins in but tries to cover up his laughter before his mentor notices. Normally, Toge wouldn’t hesitate to grab a cushion and smack them all up the head but he’s a little busy at the moment.
“Stay the night,” Yuuta almost begs when Toge comes out of the bathroom once everyone has gone home. He’d stayed back when Yuuta had promised to walk him home since it’d gotten late, and they had class the following day.
Toge leans against the closed door as he thinks about it, although, its mostly for show, he doesn’t think he could ever deny Yuuta.
“Please?” Yuuta leans closer and Toge can’t help the smile that spreads across his face.
Still feeling jealous? Toge signs, teasing more than anything.
Yuuta practically pouts. “I like you,” he whispers, reaching forward and looping his fingers through Toge’s beltloops to pull him in. “I think I’m allowed to be jealous when other people ask about you.”
Toge laughs softly, trying to be mindful since Rika went to bed a few minutes ago.
“It’s true,” Yuuta promises, leaning down to press a kiss to Toge’s lips, smiling when Toge keeps laughing. “You’re cute, you should stay the night. I have some clothes you can borrow to sleep in.”
Toge practically melts in Yuuta’s arms. He doesn’t resist the urge to wrap his arms around Yuuta’s neck to pull him down.
“What do you say?” Yuuta asks, giving Toge another kiss. “We can wake up extra early to go by your place so you can change, maybe grab something to eat?”
Toge nods because that does sound good. He does his best to muffle his amusement when Yuuta leads him down to his room.
One thing leads to another and suddenly, Toge is dressed in Yuuta’s clothes, laying in his bed under the covers. It’s nice, everything smells like Yuuta and Toge thinks he could dissolve into the bedsheets given how comfortable he is. The best isn’t very big, but it isn’t like he or Yuuta both know the concept of personal space.
The air is quite literally punched out of Toge a second later when Yuuta returns from washing up and practically body slams onto Toge on the bed.
“Hi,” Yuuta says, moving the covers away from Toge’s face to look at him. “You look comfortable,” he confesses.
“Yuuta,” Toge mumbles, running a hand through Yuuta’s damp hair before trying to shove him off.
“Yeah?” Yuuta asks, turning his head to kiss Toge’s palm while Toge tries to pinch his cheeks.
Toge pulls Yuuta’s hair for good measure as well, trying to tease the other boy but only results in Yuuta leaning down to give him another kiss before rolling off him.
Are we dating? Toge asks once Yuuta settles in bed beside him.
It’s a fair question, one he’s been wondering for a few days now. They sleep over at each other’s apartments a lot, and they spend the majority of their time together, not to mention the fact that they’ve kissed multiple times, and can’t seem to go a few days without seeing each other.
“Yes…?” Yuuta answers, moving closer until his face is only a few inches away from Toge’s. “I’d like to date you, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Toge contemplates it for a moment before he’s nodding, practically shrieking when Yuuta smiles and wraps his arms around him.
“Then, that’s that,” Yuuta whispers, grinning when Toge rolls on top of him, tangling the sheets between them.
“Yuuta,” Toge whispers, leaning forward to plant his arms on either side of Yuuta’s head to the point that their noses are almost brushing against each other.
“Toge,” Yuuta says, gently placing his hands around Toge’s waist to give him a squeeze.
“I like you,” Toge mouths at him, practically delivering the words into Yuuta’s mouth.
Yuuta swallows, pupils blown wide at the confession as if it hadn’t been obvious. “I like you too,” he admits. “A lot, way too much, I think.” He gives Toge another squeeze. “Can’t wait to see your finished portrait,” he mumbles. “I know it’s going to be amazing—everything you create is.”
Toge beams, feeling his cheeks burn from the praise. He’s glad it’s dark in Yuuta’s room because he doesn’t know what he would do if the other boy noticed.
“Can’t believe you’re mine,” Yuuta whispers, making Toge’s head spin at the words. This time, Toge closes his eyes and doesn’t hesitate to lean down to kiss him, fearing what kind of reaction he’ll have if Yuuta keeps talking.
This time, the kiss isn’t as placid as the ones they’ve shared before, no. Toge doesn’t hold back. He wants to show Yuuta just how much he likes him, feeling desperate to convey the words he can’t bring himself to speak.
Yuuta groans when Toge kisses him with more enthusiasm than usual, especially when Toge takes the opportunity to lick into his mouth when Yuuta’s lips part. Toge grins, feeling excitement rush through him when Yuuta slides one of his hands up his shirt, running fingers over Toge’s skin, causing goosebumps to rise.
He nearly chokes when Yuuta sucks on his tongue, making every single hair on his arms stand up at the sensation. Oh, that’s nice, that’s really nice, he wants more of that, for sure. Toge tilts his head to the side, feeling his fingers curl into the sheets in excitement when Yuuta’s other hand comes up his back, stopping when he reaches his nape and not hesitating to tangle in his hair, making Toge gasp into the kiss. Yuuta licks at Toge’s lips making Toge press down closer, eager for more. It suddenly feels a thousand times hotter in the room than it did five minutes ago but Toge doesn’t mind, can’t bring himself to care as he rolls his tongue against Yuuta’s, keen for another taste.
I like him so much, Toge thinks to himself, panting when Yuuta’s hand slides out of his shirt and moves down to grab his thigh to hoist him closer. Every one of Yuuta’s touches is new, it’s exhilarating, it’s everything Toge has ever wanted. Not even his highest achievement in the art world seems to compare to whatever he’s feeling right now.
Toge isn’t sure how long they make out before they part but his chest is heaving and there’s spit on his chin. He can’t help but feel thrilled when he opens his eyes and sees Yuuta looking up at him like he wants to devour him. He’s dazed, quite literally. This sensation is new, and he wouldn’t mind feeling it forever, especially if Yuuta is the one causing him to experience it.
“That was nice— really good,” Yuuta confesses, still trying to catch his breath. He wraps his arms around Toge and brings him down to lie on his chest, smiling when Toge goes limp against him, also breathing heavily. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I really you.” He presses a last kiss to Toge’s lips, one that makes Toge snuggle closer to him.
November is wonderful to put it lightly.
Toge doesn’t think he’s ever experienced a better time during university, although Maki will tease him and say he’s still in the honeymoon stage of his relationship where everything is wonderful, and Yuuta’s gross habits still don’t bother him. While that might be true, Toge lets himself indulge in the feeling. He and Yuuta spend more time together, as much as their schedules will allow which isn’t much at the moment but the times, they do get together are his favorite.
He'll try his best to attend Yuuta’s student council events, never missing a chance to see Yuuta dressed up and looking as scary as people think he is. That’s always a treat within itself, sure, some people will look at Toge a little funny because he doesn’t dress business casual in the school of law and because his hair is dyed but he doesn’t care, he isn’t here for them, he’s here for his boyfriend. As long as Yuuta is happy to see him, that’s all that counts.
Sometimes, he’ll be in the crowd and Yuuta’s eyes will look over and their gazes will meet for a moment and it’s the best because Toge can always see the reaction he has on his boyfriend. If Rika tags along, she never hesitates to elbow Toge in the gut and aww which only makes Toge turn bright pink, much to Yuuta’s delight.
Whenever Toge is busy, Yuuta will make it his mission to stop by the studio and bring him snacks, sometimes sit there, and keep him company whenever Nobara isn’t there, sometimes when she is there and they’ll both endure her teasing. It’s all in good fun, though. But sometimes, Toge likes when Nobara makes Yuuta squirm in his seat when she asks how much he likes Toge and if he thinks Toge is just the cutest. It’s always a lovely sight to see the student body president get flustered, even better when Toge knows he’s the cause of that reaction.
Since he and Yuuta are dating now, they kiss the majority of the time which is something he will never complain about. Even when they’re hanging out in the center of campus, sitting in the grass enjoying the day and Yuuta will lean over and pull Toge in for a quick kiss.
It’s getting colder and Yuuta lets Toge borrow his jackets which is nice because they’re big and warm, even if Toge has to roll up the sleeves when he paints.
He keeps painting, feeling inspired a lot lately. He doesn’t feel as scared to step out of his comfort zone anymore. He feels more confident in his portraits even if he knows they need improvement. These days it doesn’t seem like a death sentence to make mistakes, instead, he takes them as opportunities to learn on how to improve.
One weekend, Toge visits home, not even making it through dinner before his parents and grandmother zero in on him when his phone flashes with a message from Yuuta, and a mushy smile pulls at his lips.
“Oh,” his grandmother points out when she sees Toge’s face. “Now, what’s that all about?”
Toge tears his gaze from his phone. He’s not even supposed to have it out right now since this is family time that his parents are so adamant about it since he’s their only child and bonding time is important to them or whatever.
“Obaa-san,” Toge mumbles, keeping his eyes locked on the table to avoid looking at her or his mother who’s currently watching him like a hawk.
“We’re just curious,” his mother defends but Toge knows her, knows she’s probably running through a million scenarios in her mind in her quest to figure out what has her son so flustered. “…Is it a boy?”
“Okaa-san,” Toge whines, shoving food in his mouth because he totally isn’t embarrassed at his mother and grandmother’s teasing.
“Well, if it was, you could always bring him home,” his mother suggests, putting her hands up in defense when Toge looks at her. “I’m only suggesting it, honey, we would love to meet him, if there was a boy, not that there is, of course.”
His grandmother deftly nods. “Of course, in this hypothetical situation,” she agrees with her daughter.
“Because, in a scenario that there was a boyfriend, we would have—love to meet him, right?” His mother goes on, trying to hide her smile when she sees Toge’s reaction.
“Leave my poor son alone, you’re about to kill him from all the blood rush,” Toge’s father defends him. “Besides, boyfriend or not, we’ll meet this person ourselves in February during the exhibit and go from there.” His father ignores the horrified look Toge sends his way. “Not like we’d let our son date just anyone, right?”
Toge almost dies at the family table, right then and there, as his mother and grandmother agree.
In December, Yuuta’s parents stop by his apartment unexpectedly. If Toge thought his parents were bad, Yuuta’s are much worse. Yuuta looks absolutely horrified as his mother gushes over Toge, and scolds Yuuta for hiding him from her for so long. He almost rolls over and dies when Rika joins in on the teasing and his mother pinches Toge’s cheeks and looks him all over, showering him with compliments while his little sister asks Toge a million art questions, enthralled at his field of study. Yuuta’s father is a nice man, a little intimidating but seems to like Toge enough which is a relief. Toge secretly thanks the heavens for his choice to wear a beanie because he isn’t sure what type of reaction Yuuta’s parents would have had to his hair.
They come back in January following a short winter break and Toge gets to work on his portrait. He practically secludes himself in the studio to sketch and paint until the sun sets and he has to rest. The more time he spends on it, the better he feels although there’s always a persistent voice in the back of his head telling him it could be better, Yuuta’s eyes could be brighter, or Toge could mix the colors better to make Yuuta’s skin color more realistic.
Graduation is getting closer and Toge starts to feel nervous as the end of the year approaches. He isn’t sure what his plan is after graduation yet. His parents keep asking him and that only seems to make Toge even more anxious about it.
He thinks he might take a year off before applying to graduate school. Maybe he’ll travel. His grandmother has been proposing he join her visiting family abroad and Toge thinks the idea sounds more appealing the closer the end of the year gets. But there’s also Yuuta to consider. Yuuta will be attending graduate school after graduation to get his Master’s in Law before he takes the exam to become a lawyer. His career is set.
Toge isn’t sure what he’s going to do, all he knows is that he wants to keep painting. He knows he’s extremely privileged to be able to follow his dreams and he won’t waste the opportunity, would never dream of it. The future is scary but knowing Yuuta will be there along the way helps quell the fear Toge feels.
They’ve talked about possibly moving in together while Yuuta finishes graduate school, that’s an option but they’ve also talked about taking the time before Yuuta starts school to travel since their relationship is still new. There are a million places they could go, so many possibilities and it’s exciting.
Rika has confessed to Toge that she plans to move in with Miwa and Momo come next year since she’s spacing her classes out more which puts her a year behind Toge and Yuuta. Yuuta had been nervous about them going their separate ways at first, but Rika’s mind had been made up. Sometimes, Toge thinks Rika expresses her lover rather assertively but the more he gets to know her, he can see she means well and it’s important to let Yuuta go so he can grow and not feel so guilty anymore over something he had no control over.
It's late one evening when Yuuta comes to the studio to drag Toge home. Toge looks over as Yuuta walks in, knowing it's probably Maki’s doing. She doesn’t hesitate to rat him out when she’s worried about him and knows he’ll listen to no one but Yuuta.
“Hi, baby,” Yuuta greets him, carefully walking over the mess on the floor. “Are you ready to go?” He asks.
Toge shakes his head and points toward the other side of the room, so Yuuta knows better than to come closer and get a peek at the painting. It’s a rather large canvas, almost the size of Toge.
“I won’t look,” Yuuta reassures him. “But it’s getting late.”
Toge sighs, knowing it’s a lost battle at that. One second, he signs, adding a few more details to the canvas, squatting down to get close to the bottom of it.
“One second,” Yuuta teases after a moment of silence. “Come on, you can work on it tomorrow.”
Toge pretends not to hear him as he finishes adding the details to it. He focuses his eyes but can hear Yuuta closing the windows to the studio around him.
“I promise I’m not looking,” Yuuta swears as he comes up behind Toge and covers his eyes with his hands. “But I’m serious, come on, it’s been a long day and you need to get in bed.”
Toge huffs and leans back against Yuuta, enjoying the weight of his boyfriend’s hands on his face. Yuuta is warm and it’s chilly in the studio. He stands slowly, turning around when Yuuta wraps his arms around him and pulls him in for a hug.
“I missed you,” Yuuta confesses. “Haven’t seen you since Tuesday.”
Toge smiles as he leans into the hug. He snakes his hands up Yuuta’s back.
“I know, I know,” Yuuta mumbles, pressing his lips to Toge’s forehead. “It’s only Thursday, don’t I know it, though.”
Toge cocks his head to the side, smiling when Yuuta keeps pressing kisses to his face, one on his temples and twice on his lips.
“You’re the only one left in this building, by the way,” Yuuta lets him know. “It’s that late.”
Toge rolls his eyes and pulls away. He takes off the apron and hangs it up, frowning when he looks down and sees that despite the apron, there are stains of paint on his shirt. He walks over to his backpack and pulls out an extra shirt he’s learned from many ruined shirts to carry around.
He’s pulling the stained shirt over his head when he feels Yuuta’s hand graze his side.
“You have paint all over,” Yuuta says, laughing softly as his fingers skim along the dried mess. “How did you even manage to do that?”
Toge shivers under his touch. He shrugs, trying to remember if any of the paint or brushes fell during his session. His mind goes blank when Yuuta wraps his arms around Toge’s naked torse.
“I missed you,” Yuuta whispers, pressing a kiss to the back of Toge’s nape. “Feels like I don’t ever see you this quarter with how busy I am with classes and the stupid student council.”
Toge giggles at the feeling of Yuuta’s lips on his skin but his amusement quickly fades when Yuuta licks over the skin, making him shudder in excitement.
“Yuuta,” Toge attempts to scold him, only managing to back them up until Toge’s palette of colors off the tray he’d set it on.
“Fuck,” Yuuta mumbles, turning around to pick up the palette.
Toge looks around, noticing the windows are closed and remembering what Yuuta had said about no one else being left in the building. He reaches around Yuuta and runs his fingers through the paint, smearing blue paint across Yuuta’s cheek.
“Oh, you’re terrible,” Yuuta laughs, dipping his fingers in the paint and running them over Toge’s torse. He makes little circles and lines, only making goosebumps rise on Toge’s skin.
Toge gasps at the cold paint but doesn’t let it deter him as he paints Yuuta’s nose blue, trying to move out of the way when Yuuta comes after him. He doesn’t get very far because Yuuta’s wrapping arms around him and dragging him back, painting his torso in a variety of colors.
He squirms against Yuuta, only succeeding in rubbing the paint all over his upper body. The paint is cold as it is smeared across his nipples and around his neck. He can’t help but grow hot at the thought of Yuuta’s handprint branded on his neck for everyone to see.
“You’re covered in the colors,” Yuuta whispers, letting Toge twist in his arms, drawing a heart on Toge’s chest.
Toge runs his hand through the palette, smearing it all over his hand as he turns to face his boyfriend who only grins at the challenge. He plants his hands on Yuuta’s chest, saying a silent prayer for Yuuta’s white dress shirt before he pushes him down onto the ground, making him sit down on the floor, and doesn’t hesitate to crawl into his lap, leaving handprints all over his shirt, on his face, on his neck, and eventually his naked torse when he manages to open the shirt with paint smeared hands. He draws a flower to the best of his abilities on Yuuta’s skin, smiling at the result.
Yuuta inhales sharply at the sight of Toge on top of him with no shirt on, paint spread across his torso, and his handprint imprinted on his neck.
“Come here,” Yuuta groans and Toge doesn’t have to be told twice before he’s leaning down to connect their lips.
It’s impatient, it’s messy, with saliva running down their chins and yet, it’s not enough. Toge doesn’t think they’ve ever done anything so risky before. They’re still in the studio, half-naked but neither of them seems to care. Toge’s hands don’t hesitate to thread through Yuuta’s hair, yanking at it until Yuuta groans at the feeling, leaving paint in their wake.
Yuuta’s hands rest on Toge’s thighs, covered only by his sweatpants. The material is thin enough that Toge can feel Yuuta’s hands through it, warm and heavy, squeezing him impatiently while Yuuta practically devours him, licking into his mouth and biting at his lips, leaving Toge panting. Their chests are crushed together, letting Toge feel every inch of Yuuta’s skin, but it doesn’t seem like enough, if anything, only leaves him eager for more.
He doesn’t have to wait long because Yuuta is hosting Toge’s legs over his thighs, leaving Toge nice and nestled, making their erections brush against each other. The feeling of Yuuta, hard because of him makes Toge moan, urges him to kiss Yuuta with more intensity, and more determination until he’s sure his lips are bruised.
“Holy shit,” Yuuta gasps, propping himself up on his elbows when Toge starts moving in his lap, grinding his hips forward to rub against him. Toge falls forward with him, making his hair fall into his face, too busy to care about pushing it back not when it feels this good, and Yuuta sucks on his tongue and licks at the corners of his lips.
The friction feels incredible, scratching an inch Toge didn’t know he had until now, one that only seems to settle whenever Yuuta touches and kisses him.
Yuuta pulls away from Toge's lips. He rests his forehead against Toge’s, breathing harshly. “Can I try something?” He asks, sounding nervous and eager.
Toge nods, watching as Yuuta sits up more and brings his fingers to his mouth, and sucks on them. It makes for an arousing sight, one that leaves Toge practically leaking in his sweats. He doesn’t realize he’s staring until Yuuta presses his wet fingers against Toge’s lips and Toge is way too eager to wrap his lips around them and suck.
He keeps his arms around Yuuta’s neck, watching as his boyfriend reaches down between them to undo his pants and pushes his boxers down, letting his cock spring free and Toge’s jaw practically goes slack at the sight. He can’t seem to tear his eyes away as Yuuta wraps his hand around his cock and jerks himself off, it’s hot, making Toge curl his fingers into the dress shirt that hangs off Yuuta’s shoulders.
“Here.” Yuuta lets go of himself and slowly moves to stick his fingers, now sticky with his precum into the waistband of Toge’s sweats, sliding them in past his boxers.
Toge practically hisses when Yuuta’s hand touches his cock, feeling it jump at the sensation. He, can’t help but leak further since Yuuta is wrapping his hand around it, slowly jerking him off until he’s panting.
He pulls Toge’s sweats down and wraps his free arm around him, bringing him closer until their cocks brush against each other. The feeling makes Toge gasp, makes him rut against Yuuta more, especially when Yuuta wraps his hand to the best of his abilities around them both, jerking them off together.
This time, Toge can’t help but gasp loudly, hands holding on for dear life as Yuuta jerks them off, mixing fluids and making the slide easier. They’re not much different but Yuuta is bigger than Toge, it makes sense, considering he’s taller, broader, and it seems to thrill Toge for some reason, making him want more.
“You feel so good,” Yuuta confesses, voice strained as he keeps going. Toge groans as he keeps watching. He can’t help but think that Yuuta’s hand would fit around his cock completely, imagines what it would feel like, and can’t help but want it now that he knows it's something he can have.
Yuuta looks up and presses his lips against Toge’s temple, breath hot and wet against his skin. “Fuck, you’re amazing, can’t believe you’re mine,” he mumbles, kissing the skin near Toge’s ear. He moves his hand faster and applies more pressure, making Toge feel overwhelmed, almost lightheaded at the sensation and he’s cumming a few seconds later, coating both of them in his cum.
He huffs, watching as Yuuta moves his hand with more intent now that the slide is even wetter.
“You’re my favorite, you know that?” Yuuta confesses, words tight as he keeps going, making little shocks travel through Toge’s body now that he isn’t hard anymore. “Can’t believe we’re doing this in the studio.”
Toge shakes his head, tearing his eyes away from Yuuta’s cock to look up at him. “Yuuta,” he whispers, kissing him again with as much intent as he can, biting at his lips, licking at the root of his mouth, and practically devouring him whole.
Yuuta tightens his arm around Toge, groaning into the kiss before he cums, making Toge shudder a little at the additional wetness as it soaks into his sweatpants.
“That was…really good,” Yuuta mumbles, panting against Toge’s mouth.
Toge can’t help but smile. He rests his forehead against Yuuta’s temple, letting himself bask in the aftermath of what just happened before reality sets in, and they have to clean up their mess.
That night, Toge might or might not return to Yuuta’s apartment wearing his boyfriend’s oversized coat to conceal whatever evidence is left behind of their adventure. He thinks it was worth it, especially after they clean up and crowd into Yuuta’s bed, laughing quietly between themselves.
After what happened in the studio, they can’t seem to keep their hands off each other, not that they’ve ever been good with personal space in the first place, considering how often they spend the night at each other’s place.
They’ve been officially dating since October now, so three months, and Toge wants to do something…special to celebrate. For the most part, Yuuta has been initiating what they do intimately which is good, and amazing, but Toge wants to try his hand at it as well. So, one weekend that Maki and Nobara go on a trip, Toge makes sure not to waste a moment before he’s inviting Yuuta to spend the night and spends the majority of the day preparing everything, including himself, for his boyfriend’s arrival.
This isn’t his first time having sex but this is the first time it means something to him, the first time he sleeps with someone he likes, maybe even loves, so yes, he’s nervous. Not to mention, his boyfriend is extremely handsome, big, and really hot. Although, he might be biased but who is to say?
The day goes by faster than Toge would like and before he knows it, Yuuta arrives later that afternoon after his student council obligations are fulfilled.
He can’t help but practically tackle Yuuta in the doorway, letting him know he was extremely missed even if they did just see each other three days ago.
“I missed you,” Yuuta admits, smiling as he sets his bag down in the living room. He looks around, probably expecting Maki or Nobara to come around the corner. “Where is everyone?” He asks, sitting down on the couch and chuckling when Toge sits beside him and practically burrows into his side.
Away, Toge tells him, grinning mischievously when Yuuta’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
“Away?” Yuuta repeats, narrowing his eyes as he pulls Toge into him. “And you didn’t tell me?” He teases, leaning down to mouth at Toge’s neck.
Toge shakes his head and pulls away, laughing when he sees the dejected look on Yuuta’s face. I wanted it to be a surprise.
Yuuta definitely looks surprised, even more, when Toge leads him into his bedroom, their fake plans of watching a movie long forgotten, not that either of them seems to mind once they fall onto the bed. It’s rare they get to spend time alone since they both have roommates, so it's nice to take advantage when the opportunity presents itself.
“I’ve been thinking about you all week,” Yuuta confesses as he rolls on top of Toge, pressing their lips together.
Toge smiles at the words, content to let Yuuta bite at his lips. He likes knowing Yuuta missed him, likes knowing he’s wanted the same way he wants Yuuta.
Yuuta licks the seam of Toge’s lips and slots a leg between Toge’s. “I feel like I’m going to corrupt you if we keep going on this,” he admits when Toge wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him down.
Toge would snort at the ridiculousness of Yuuta’s words if he could but it’s a little difficult to do, especially when Yuuta presses his thigh against Toge’s half-hard cock quite literally resetting his brain. If only Yuuta knew the type of insatiable yearning Toge feels toward him every time they touch, they kiss, or they so much as look at each other. Maybe Toge is the depraved one, he certainly feels like it when he grinds down on Yuuta’s thigh, letting out punched-out little moans at the sensation.
The sounds seem to excite Yuuta, urging him to kiss Toge harder and push his thigh against Toge with more drive.
“Pretty,” Yuuta whispers, kissing all over Toge’s face. It makes Toge sigh as he feels Yuuta’s hot breath over him, especially when Yuuta makes his way down and mouths at his neck, really making Toge wiggle at the sensation.
Toge practically heaves when Yuuta starts sucking on the skin of his neck, running his tongue along it, and biting at it to tease him. He can’t help the moan he lets out when Yuuta blows air over the wet skin, making Toge’s fingers and toes flex at the feeling.
He pulls at Yuuta’s hair to help ground himself. It feels good, really good especially when Yuuta hisses. But what ends up feeling even better is when Yuuta flips Toge on his stomach and hikes up his shirt and begins leaving open-mouthed kisses on his back.
Toge bites at the sheets, feeling himself go boneless at the onslaught. He’s making a mess in his shorts, not like he cares though, not when Yuuta is too busy sucking on the skin of his back, biting and living hickies in his path.
“Too much?” Yuuta asks him, crawling over him to kiss Toge’s nape from above him. His hands rest on Toge’s bare waist. They feel smoldering against Toge’s skin, making him yearn for more of Yuuta’s touch until every single inch of him has been consumed. It’s hard to contain his thoughts especially when he can feel Yuuta’s hard-on pressing against his ass.
Toge shakes his head to answer Yuuta’s question. He reaches a hand back and threads it through Yuuta’s hair to hold him there, eager for more but wanting to keep him close.
Yuuta just chuckles and kisses Toge’s shoulder.
They shred the rest of their clothes, not bothering to pick them up off the floor in their rush. Toge can’t help it, not when his boyfriend is right here, naked and his to touch.
Yuuta moves to sit against the pillows, eyes dark as Toge sits up on his knees in front of him. His hands settle around Toge’s thighs, and he doesn’t resist the urge to squeeze the fat between his fingers, leaving the skin bright pink. His hands move up to caress the panel of Toge’s stomach and his fingers don’t hesitate to possessively dig into the soft flesh.
Toge stumbles forward, cupping Yuuta’s cheeks between his hands to bring him in for a kiss. He moans into the kiss when one of Yuuta’s hands settles on the small of his back and slowly slides down until he’s cupping one of Toge’s ass cheeks in his hands.
“Yuuta,” Toge exhales, biting at his bottom lip when Yuuta looks into his eyes, fully attentive to whatever Toge is about to say.
Yuuta tilts his head back and licks his lips clean of spit—their spit. “What is it, baby?” He asks, one hand resting on the spot where Toge’s asscheek meets his thigh and the other on his waist. “What do you want?”
Toge beams at the words. Yuuta has spoiled him rotten.
“Yuuta,” Toge repeats like a mantra a few minutes later, the room is silent except for their harsh breathing, and the squelch that resonates. Toge is laying on his side, glassy eyes focused on his desk where his small vanity mirror rests, reflecting back the image of him and Yuuta. Yuuta who’s currently nestled behind him, holding him by the waist, chin resting on Toge’s shoulder as he fucks Toge’s lube-slick thighs.
Toge can’t tear his eyes away from the mirror, too captivated as he watches Yuuta kiss his neck while keeping his gaze locked on Toge.
He lays pliant, hands wrapped around the arm Yuuta has stretched across his chest to hold him steady. Toge digs his fingers into the arm, choking as Yuuta jerks him off so damn slow that it’s like torture. But the slide of Yuuta’s cock between his thighs that occasionally brushes against Toge’s own makes it worthwhile, makes him dizzy with want. Now and then, Yuuta thrusts slow, making Toge’s breath catch in his throat but then, he’ll go faster, quite literally punching the air out of Toge’s lungs from the force.
Toge doesn’t last long, not with the way Yuuta is watching him, with the way he keeps fucking his thighs, leaving a mess of lube and precum all over Toge. He shouldn’t find it as hot as he does, especially when Yuuta cums a few minutes later and Toge’s tummy is covered in both of their releases.
But it doesn’t stop there, not that Toge would ever dream of that happening. They’ve got to seize the moment now that they’re alone. It’s after a short nap that Toge finds himself laying on top of Yuuta’s chest, gasping as Yuuta fucks his fingers into him, trying his best to thoroughly prep him despite Toge’s impatience and insistence that he did that before Yuuta arrived. Toge is glad the apartment is empty because he can’t stay quiet to save his life, not with how stuffed he feels from just having Yuuta’s fingers inside of him, he can’t even begin to imagine his cock.
Yuuta keeps kissing him throughout it, thrusting his fingers with more intent depending on the reaction Toge gives him, sometimes it’s his mouth falling open or his eyes getting glassy. Toge’s mouth is still bitter from the blowjob he gave Yuuta a few minutes ago, still feels the tears that leaked out of his eyes in his attempt to take the whole thing in his mouth, and the thrill of having Yuuta pull his hair still courses through his blood. It’s all so exciting, doing this with Yuuta, having Yuuta touch him and hold him close.
As long as it’s Yuuta.
He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so strongly about someone before, no one has ever made him feel so whole, so content as much as Yuuta does. Of course, their relationship is by no means perfect, they argue when Yuuta doesn’t get enough rest or takes on way too much or when Toge pushes things off until the last minute.
But he’s still happy, and still cannot wait to see what life holds for them after graduation. He’s excited to travel with Yuuta, to see where life takes them and if they’re meant to stay together. Even if his family does tend to be overprotective, he’s eager for them to meet Yuuta because he knows they’ll like him, and will see what Toge sees in him.
Right now, as Toge lays back against the bed with Yuuta hovering over him, his thighs thrown over Yuuta’s legs, it feels blissful. He can’t stop the soft smile that spreads across his face when Yuuta keeps a steady grip on his legs as he fucks him, looks down at Toge as if he’s the entire world and stars in human form, as if he’s the first bloom of flowers in the spring.
Toge keeps his hands steady on Yuuta’s shoulders, feeling his fingers slip from the sweat that coats both their skin but he wouldn’t change any of it, especially when Yuuta fucks him like this and touches him like that, so soft and sweet, making Toge fall in love.
He knows his fate is sealed afterward when they’re laying on the couch after a much needed shower, watching a series on the television that has Toge nodding off against his boyfriend’s shoulder. Yuuta reaches over and caresses Toge’s cheek, making Toge scrunch his nose in protest, only for Yuuta to kiss him with all the love in the world.
“I’m so happy I met you,” Yuuta confesses, letting Toge lean on his shoulder as he buries his hand in Toge’s hair, scratching here and there, just the way Toge likes it.
Tokyo University of the Arts 2025 Graduation Exhibition
Yuuta reads the sign as he makes his way inside the Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum in early February. It’s the first day of the event and Yuuta had made sure to get up early and look presentable. Maki, Nobara, and Rika had seen him off, making sure his outfit matched and his hair looked decent since Toge’s parents will be attending the event today. Maki reassures him that Toge’s parents are all growl but no bite, just fiercely protective of their only child. Yuuta can’t blame them, though, Toge is special, he deserves all the love his parents have for him and much more. He hopes to be able to add to that throughout his life.
The Museum is big, filled to the brim with the graduates, their families, the staff from the art school, and observers. After a few minutes, he manages to find the section where the submitted paintings from the university are being shown. He looks around, trying to spot Toge but to no luck. He knows Toge might be busy, having his family in town for the graduation and all the people who’ve come to see the exhibition. Good, he wants Toge’s craft to be praised, Toge deserves every ounce of it, he’s amazing to put it simply.
Yuuta can’t believe he used to live in a world where Toge wasn’t part of his life. He’s known Toge for almost a year now and it’s been one of the best times in his life, if he’s being honest. Toge is a breath of fresh air, one that’s come to breathe new life into Yuuta. Yuuta didn’t know he’d been wandering around the dark for so many years, lost and weighed down with the guilt of the past. It hasn’t been easy, getting over what happened to Rika and trying his best to do something with his life that would make what happened to her hurt less. But through the process of doing that, he hadn’t realized how difficult it had been on him, on Rika.
He loves Rika, loves her so much, she’s like an older sister to him, one that always knows what to tell him when he seems to be drowning in a cup of water. She’s the best and it makes Yuuta upset to know that his reluctance to move on has hurt her. It’s the last thing he’s ever wanted to do. He has to let go because if she no longer lives in the past, why should he? She’s the one who will wear the scars of what happened for the rest of her life, the least Yuuta can do is be beside her in the present and the future.
It was her advice that pushed Yuuta forward, shoved him right into Toge’s path and he’ll always be grateful for that. He doesn’t know what he would do without either of them at this point in his life. Rika is the reason he brought flowers today, some of Toge’s favorites, wrapped in a pretty bouquet.
Finally, Yuuta arrives where the canvases are hanging on the walls of the museum. He looks around, keeping the flowers nestled safely in his hands.
There are small painted portraits of the artists beside the paintings, a prerequisite the museum requires the graduates to submit every year with their creations. Yuuta lets them guide him in finding Toge’s painting.
His eyes skim over the room until finally, he finds Toge’s. He can’t help but smile at the sight, it’s a cute portrait of Toge, one without many details but it’s obvious who the painting is of. Yuuta doesn’t hesitate to take his phone out and snap a picture, wanting to keep it for his memories.
He pockets his phone and looks over at the painting, feeling his lips part in disbelief as he gazes at the massive canvas, practically the height of Toge that hands in the gallery. The painting is incredible, the details so realistic they seem to jump off the canvas, every inch of the canvas is covered, the blue of Yuuta’s eyes so vivid, creating a masterpiece for everyone to see.
It’s beautiful.
It’s stunning.
It’s something out of a dream with the way the colors jump off the canvas and create the picture.
It’s him.
Yuuta tears his eyes away from the portrait and feels his fingertips grow cold from the emotion he feels at knowing the person he loves the most in the world created that of him. He almost chokes up in the middle of the gallery.
He looks down and reads the description beside Toge’s self-portrait.
Inumaki Toge.
Colors
Love through my eyes that my words cannot convey.
“Yuuta.”
Yuuta almost doesn’t hear the voice calling out to him from behind, too enthralled by the description of the painting.
Slowly, Yuuta turns around, finding Toge standing there, looking extremely nervous. He’s dressed in dark pants and a soft-looking dress shirt, a hard contrast to what he usually wears but Yuuta loves him all the same. What truly gets his attention, though, is the vivid blue color of Toge’s bangs, almost akin to the blue on the painting.
Yuuta looks between Toge and the painting, feeling at a loss for words as they stand in the gallery. He swallows, tightening his grip on the flowers. “I—I love you,” he confesses, wanting to express what he’s been feeling for a while now, wanting Toge to know just how much this means to him, and how much Toge means to him.
Toge looks surprised at the revelation.
“I love you,” Yuuta repeats, wanting Toge to know he means it. “So much.”
Toge smiles so big his eyes crinkle at the corners and his teeth poke through his lips. It’s Yuuta’s favorite smile. “Yuuta.” Toge moves closer to him, looking up at him through blue bangs. “I love you too,” he whispers, beaming with love when Yuuta leans down to press a kiss to his lips.