Chapter Text
James is always on edge. Looking behind him, listening for footsteps. Getting sneaky feelings of people staring. Constantly biting his already bitten-down fingernails or his lips, he would pull at his skin and run his tongue over his teeth.
Most of the time it was because James Potter is very attractive. Boys and girls would wink at him, biting their lips, nodding to a bathroom nearby or alleyway. However, James is always on edge. Scared they will attempt to jump him or kidnap him, or drug him or- worse. So most of the time he acts as if he has no clue who they are talking to. James had no idea why. His mum reckons his social anxiety, his dad on the other hand just thinks his balls haven't dropped yet. James always counters that argument with "they never will." That shuts dad up. James doesn't mean for it to make everything awkward, but it is funny.
Fleamont Potter is a raging football fan. Manchester United, of course. So- the whole Potter household is, too. Including Remus Lupin, who had no choice but to support it. Remus and James have known each other since James was born. March 27. Remus was born on the 10th of March, but he was born with hemophilia so he and his mum, Hope had to stay behind and just so happened to stay on the same ward as James, his mother, and his dad. Their mothers quickly got along and Fleamont and Lyall got into a heated argument over which team was better. Manchester United or Liverpool. Manchester United, of course. It was a surprise when Remus' first word was Chelsea. Lyall had turned a whole different colour and Hope had been giggling while running her thumb over Remus' nose. Fleamont got up and left. Of course, Hope Lupin is a Chelsea fan. Euphemia Potter is a Manchester City fan; when dad found this out he almost broke up with her. Dad converted her and the Lupins to Manchester United. Lyall, Fleamont, James, Remus, Hope, and even Euphemia have never missed a single match.
We almost get kicked out because Fleamont and Lyall get into very heated debates about who is the best player, and who is playing the shittest. Lyall reckons Harry Maguire is the best on the team, but Fleamont gets upset and claims that Lyall is a fake football fan. Lyall then says that Marcus Rashford is shit and that makes Fleamont go on a huge rant on racism. This is obviously a joke, the Lupins aren't racist. Lyall gets all stuttery and his dad just pisses himself. Hilarious. Not really. Fleamont says with confidence that Jadon Sancho is the best, and Marcus. Dad says David de Gea is the best goalkeeper Man Utd has ever had. For some reason, Fleamont absolutely hates Harry Maguire. He's always picking apart every little thing Maguire does. 'Does he have two left feet?' 'What the fuck was that tackle?' 'Get him off the pitch.' 'He is an absolute plonker. You know you're supposed to kick the ball?!' Euphemia just rolled her eyes and Hope is absolutely wetting herself. You know Fleamont is an idiot when he has a notebook he takes to every game, noting all the corners, handballs, headers, megz, penalties, free kicks, and offsides. You name it, he has it all in that book. He also has several pages every time Maguire trips, gets a yellow or red card, and does a shit pass or kick. Dad hates him. He would sit there, tutting and running his tongue over his teeth as he shakes his head and puts another line on his 'Harry Maguire's fuck up counter'. Dad's lost track.
James and Remus sit and debate strategies and talk as if they are the commentators. They meet each other at the cafe every single day and have a coffee before skidding off to football training. James trains every breathing moment. Remus only does it a few times a week, James is consistent and trains for at least 3 hours a day. He wants to do it professionally, but Remus would rather be a commentator. James wants to get on the Manchester United team. Dad was a commentator until he got fired for openly saying: "Honestly, get Maguire off the pitch and I think it'll be better for the whole team." Fired for his open Harry Maguire hatred.
James is jogging down the pavement, sprinting past cars to see if he can beat them. He can. He runs for another 15 minutes, earphones in as he listens to Coldplay. He pulls one of his earphones out as he opens the glass door to the cafe, Moka Pot. He wipes his barely sweaty forehead with his maroon jumper's sleeve. Remus isn't here yet. He goes to their spot. In the furthest corner, a sofa bed with a huge window overlooking a field of sunflowers, daisies, peonies, lotus' and irises. Euphemia and Hope love pressing flowers. James was going to be named Ren or Florian. Fleamont vetoed it, he wanted James to be called Jadon or Marcus. Euphemia claimed she wanted to call James Harry and Fleamont was not having it. James plans to name his son Harry, just to piss off his dad.
A waiter, familiar with James' face, walks over and gives a small smile. He has curly, mousy brown hair that just- sort of goes everywhere. He has golden skin and soft brown eyes which are actually lovely. They remind James of a warm hot chocolate. With marshmallows. Because hot chocolate without marshmallows is a crime. He has navy-ish baggy jeans on, and a grey North Face shirt. You can see his belly rolls through his tight shirt, but honestly, James finds rolls so attractive. He's got a white apron, with blue lining going around the whole thing. His shoes are some red Converse. Yes. James had finally got him to wear Converse. This man, also known as Frank Longbottom, is God.
"Morning James, the usual?" He got his notepad out, and his pen from behind his ears. His voice is deep, but it's calming and it makes you want to tell him all your deepest darkest secrets. James' deepest darkest secret is that he actually thinks Harry Maguire is pretty good, and Jadon is really good. But... Marcus isn't that good. But he would never tell his dad that.
"Mornin' Frank. And- I think I'll mix it up a little. Gingerbread latte, please and for Rem- his usual. Hazelnut cappuccino with a pump of vanilla and semi-skimmed milk, Gracias. Oh- and also two gingerbread men, muchas gracias" James smiled. His Spanish caused him to roll his rs and speak rather fast. Frank scribbles on his notepad, biting his lip as he concentrates. He gives James a quick nod, putting his pen behind his ear as he quickly reads over the notepad.
"I'll be back in a jiff." He smiles again before rushing off to the counter, getting two coffee mugs out. Frank raises his head as Remus walks in, nodding and smiling at the blondish boy as he cleans out a cup. Remus yawns before waving and walking over to where James is sitting.
"Morning, Frank. Hey, James. Mum and dad alright?" Remus is kind, always asking about James' parents because Remus sees Effie and Monty more than he sees his own parents. They're busy a lot.
James nods and smiles. "Yeah, Man Utd's playing in about-" His eyes flicker down to the watch on his wrist. He thinks for a second. "An hour or so, so he needs to get prepared. You coming watch?" Remus shrugs before smiling at Frank who has brought over their drinks and gingerbread men. "Oh cheers James- thank you, Frank."
Frank nods before rushing over to the counter, taking this ginger girl's order. James grins and thanks Frank before taking a bite out of his gingerbread, biting off the green and red Smarties on his chest.
"Well- it depends. We've got to unbox all our stuff into our flat," Remus says as he takes a sip out of his cappuccino.
Oh shit. It's moving day. James nods and absentmindedly starts biting at his nails. Remus glances up before pulling his laptop out of his bag, opening it, and typing away. "James, it'll be fine." James nods and takes another bite out of his gingerbread man. Remus sips at his cappuccino before sighing. "What do you think your mum and dad would want for Christmas?" Remus asks, keeping his eyes on his laptop as he begins typing more aggressively.
"Easy there cowboy. Mum is into flowers and cooking- maybe she could get one of those Grow Your Own Garden thingys- Dad will want a new pair of fluffy slippers or a nice book." James thinks, sipping at his gingerbread latte which actually tastes amazing. Remus snorts and stops typing, peering over at James.
"Reckon these will suffice for ole Monty?" He turns his laptop around to James, pictures of Harry Maguire all over the front of red slippers, James huffs out a laugh.
"He would not talk to you for at least a year. Get them." James snorts again at the thought and snaps the gingerbread man's leg off.
"That desperate to get rid of me, Potter?" Remus raises his eyebrows before spinning his laptop back around, sipping at his drink. James just nods, grinning as Remus rolls his eyes.
Remus is easy to get on with. He's funny and quite sweet. He's thoughtful and honestly, James laughs the hardest when he's being sarcastic. Not even trying to be funny. He gets it off his mum. James is more- emotional. He gets that from Fleamont. When Fleamont Potter isn't raging over a football match he's going all googly-eyed at Euphemia. Just gazing at her while she cooks, which she quote-unquote finds "adorable". James can't wait for the day that he can look at someone like that. Remus is having no luck either by the looks of it.
"So, how was it going with that guy? Lockhart?" James muses, peering at Remus with his hazel brown eyes over his blue mug. Remus swallows and starts scrolling on his built-in keypad. Chewing on the inside of his lip.
"Broke it off with him. The guy is too- full of himself. Plus he wants to be more worldwide. You know I don't like moving, James." He shrugs, going back to typing as he sips at his drink. James knows Remus gets homesick and honestly, Remus hates traveling. He'd rather stay in one place and stick to it.
"Well, did you like him, Rem?" James sits up straighter, interlocking his fingers. Remus just hums and shakes his head. James breathes out a laugh and runs a hand through his wild, black hair.
"Like I said- too self-involved." Remus muses, voice unwavering as he stops typing. His eyes scan across the screen and he moves closer. Interested.
"I believe you said, 'too full of himself'," James grins and holds his mug in his palms, immediately feeling the warmth seep through him. Remus completely ignores him and James purses his lips. "If you didn't like him, you did well breaking it off with him, you'd of been miserable." To this, Remus smiles and nods. James leans back on his chair. His hand reaches up to fix his glasses as he stares down at his feet. "Let me guess, he said 'I love you' too, and it felt too soon too." Remus' eyes widen and he looks over at James who just smirks.
"Yeah- it was like- completely random. Came out of nowhere! I'd only been seeing him for- two weeks." Remus says, using wild hand gestures, eyebrows frowning as he shakes his head, James laughs before he furrows his brows.
"Well- maybe he just wanted to get serious. Dating for marriage and all that." James shrugs, embarrassment washing over him. He'd said 'I love you' to a girl he dated for two days when he was fifteen. Four years have given him time to reflect, and realise how lonely he was. Remus is scared of commitment, the second anyone shows him any emotions or love- he panics and doesn't know what to do with it. He doesn't know how to react.
"You'll find someone, Remus." James gives him a sad smile as he sips at his drink, feeling the cold breeze surround him as the door opens. James immediately feels uneasy and tense up. He looks at Remus and gives him a look. All his hair on the back of his neck, standing up. Remus just shakes his head, following the guy who just walked in. Remus gives James an 'I told you so' look as the man walks over to the noticeboard and sticks a poster up. James deflates but still can feel his gut telling him to run. He shakes it off and grips his mug tighter. "How's the book coming along?" James bites his lip and tilts his head to the side as Remus lifts his chin.
"It's okay, need to get publishers to fucking publish it. They said" Remus clears his voice and puts on a posh voice, "Mr. Lupin, everyone has talents and writing is not one of yours." To this, James lets out a gasp before bursting out laughing to which Remus shakes his head, laughing along with James. James' laughs are contagious. Filled with happy memories and smiles. He makes you feel so safe and- heard. If Remus was put into a room with James, Bjorn Ulvaerus, Benny Andersson, David Bowie, Johnny Buckland, and Guy Berryman. Remus would always, always pick James. I mean, who wouldn't?
James has once again completely zoned out and by the time he snaps back to reality, Remus is up and peering at the poster on the wall. James grabs his mug and swerves past the tables and chairs until he gets to the notice. "Party at Riddles." James is immediately uncomfortable and Remus is grinning before he reaches for his phone, he dials the number right underneath it. James gives him a confused look as Remus begins to speak. "Hi, yes I saw the poster. Oh- perfect. We'll see you soon." Remus ends the call and James sips at his now-cold latte. James gives him a 'go on' look and Remus nods.
"You need to loosen up- get out there- hook up with people!" Remus nods and James thinks for a second, sighing. Once Remus wants to do something, there is no changing his mind. James nods, walking over to the counter. An uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He pays for their drinks before he and Remus are walking.
Remus and James decide to go to the library, which is only a five-minute walk from the cafe. James can't help but feel like they're being watched. He's messing with his sleeves, pulling on the loose thread. Of his jumper. Remus walks into the library, nodding to the librarian who gives them a sharp nod back. Remus' eyes scan over all the labels. Romance, sci-fi, kids, documentary, adventure, action, thriller, mystery, and drama. Remus stalks along the isles of the books, looking for a familiar name. Oscar Wilde. James is guessing that Remus is looking for The Portrait Of Dorian Gray. He sounded rather excited when he heard that the library here had it. Remus and James are strolling through the isles, Remus' finger absentmindedly tracing across the shelves. James shoves his hands into his pocket, trailing behind as he peers at the books.
He secretly loved reading. He's a fan of Jane Austen and George Orwell. He likes books about romance but none of those new ones. He likes the old ones. He hates Colleen Hoover. Her writing just- unsettles him. He much prefers reading old romances whereas Remus loves horror books and Sci-Fi. James doesn't get it. He likes horror films because they"re jumpy but every horror book he's read doesn't scare him. They're just words. How can words scare you? They don't jump out at you, they don't stab you, they can be quite predictable. Remus much rather prefers horror films. Romance books are just, lovely. You can hear their every thought. What they think. When the main character describes their significant other as the sun, it gets James going. Like, sobbing.
He likes reading their interactions and he loves the nicknames. As cheesy as they are. Perhaps James likes romance books because that is what he grew up with. Effie and Fleamont are very affectionate and just- passionate. They love each other and they are constantly telling each other. James thought he was stupid for wanting love like that. To be held by someone, to hold someone, to cook in the kitchen and laugh together, to smile and write poems and annotate books that remind James of them. So far, James hasn't been lucky. Fleamont thinks it's funny. James loves everyone. He swings in every way possible. He just- wants a kind, sweet and hilarious personality. He wants someone to laugh at his jokes and tease him. But he also wants someone who can listen.
James was been ogling at this book, The Great Gatsby. God, he does love that book. And how detailed it is. It zooms in and brings you right there. James glances back at Remus who has just reached out and pulled a book off the shelf. James runs over to Remus and Remus is grinning from ear to ear. They both walk out of the library, muttering about Remus' new book. James has already read it, despite himself. Remus is begging James to tell him more about it. James refuses. Refuses to be a spoiler. They're both laughing over Remus' groan before there is a slam of a car door. Which- yes. James and Remus are about to cross a road but it sounded- targeted to them. James turns his head to the side, peeking out of the corner of his eyes to see three tall, muscley men dressed head to toe in grey, faces covered.
James quickly goes from a stroll to a brisk walk. I am not getting kidnapped today. Remus doesn't even need to change his walking pace his legs are that long. James flicks his head back to the men... who have just crossed the road. Shit. They're following us. James is practically jogging now and Remus has had to walk a bit faster. To an extent, so have the three men behind them. James and Remus quickly walk back to their part of town. The men trailing after them. James thinks.
James and Remus have decided to go halves on the rent. Each pays half. There is zero point in buying two different flats when they spend all day together. They just recently rented out a two-bedroom flat together. The whole walk to their new home, James is peeking out of the corner of his eyes, turning around, peering around walls, and stopping to listen to footsteps.
He is more on edge than he has ever been. But- it seems Remus feels it too. Remus is walking briskly and turning around every few seconds. So, James isn't just paranoid. They tread back to the apartment, waving at a few people whom James seems to know; James knows everyone. James full-on jumps when he hears a "fuck, they know we're following us." Muttered behind him. They eventually get back to the block and sprint up the three-flight stairs. Taking the stairs three at a time. Apartment 3C. James and Remus pant, Remus fumbles with the keys before putting them into the lock and twisting. They scramble in and lock the door. Remus walks into the empty flat, with dim, grey wallpapers and boxes all in the hallway. Remus quickly shuts all the blinds, turning on only the living room light. James peeps through the peephole and he swears he sees a black figure eager to run down the stairs. But he is also pretty sure he can see someone's leg out on the floor in front of them. As if they're curled up in the corner of the door. 'Best not to open the door.' He quickly recedes into the living room and perches himself on a box, Remus has apparently decided to start unpacking.
James decides he needs a distraction and quickly grabs the boxes labeled 'J. Bedroom.' He has started building his bed before he hears a knock at the front door and he freezes. James flicks on his bedroom light before running out into the hallway. Remus' voice sounds slightly panicked but he knows what to do. "JAMES?" He yells and James immediately catches on. Try to make noise so that the possible burglars know people are home. "YEAH?" James shouts back, voice shaky. "I CAN'T FIND THE REMOTE. YOU GOT IT?" He shouts back. Now- this might sound ridiculous but honestly- Remus and James don't do well under pressure. "YEAH. ONE SEC." James shouts back before stomping as loudly as possible out of his room and into the hallway. Welp. They're gonna have a noise complaint on their first hour here. James then stops banging about because Remus has, and he tiptoes up to the door. He can hear heavy breathing against the door. James almost lets out a whimper, Remus quickly gets his laptop, types on YouTube, and puts an episode of The Office on as loudly as possible. James is shaking and Remus tiptoes over to the door, pressing his ear against it. James peeks through the peephole and sure enough; a hooded face is glaring right back at him. He has a gun and it's aimed right where James' eyes are.
Fuck, I don't want to be even more blind. James ducks his head as a gunshot rips through the peephole. Remus jumps and grabs James' hand, sprinting into Remus' room, the furthest from the front door.
Remus is sitting against the door, panting as James is in near tears. James' shaky hand reaches for his phone in his pocket and dials '999'. It rings for a while before the call gets declined. What? It's just then that the bedroom door is swung open. Remus is thrown against the wall and a man grabs at James. James screams for his friend, kicking and hitting. "REMUS!" The man is dressed and black and he is hitting James and strangling James. And James can't feel anything. Everything goes black and James can hear Remus.
"NO NO. TAKE ME. LEAVE JAMES! PLEASE DON'T HURT HIM. GET THE FUCK OFF HIM!"
Remus' voice is the last thing James hears.
And remembers.