Carry Me Out

by markgrayson

Summary:

The sound of her bloodcurdling screams ripped him from his slumber. His stomach twisted into endless knots, all color draining from his face as he peered up at the clocktower through the icy rain.

She saved him. It was supposed to be him.

Chapter 1: Prologue

When I die I want your hands on my eyes:

I want the light and the wheat of your beloved hands

to pass their freshness over me one more time

to feel the smoothness that changed my destiny.

 

I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep,

I want for your ears to go on hearing the wind,

for you to smell the sea that we loved together

and for you to go on walking the sand where we walked.

 

I want for what I love to go on living

and as for you I loved you and sang you above everything,

for that, go on flowering, flowery one,

 

so that you reach all that my love orders for you,

so that my shadow passes through your hair,

so that they know by this the reason for my song.

- Pablo Neruda, When I Die I Want Your Hands On My Eyes

 

PROLOGUE

 

“Richard John, if you don’t get down so help me-” Zatanna tried through breathless laughter, gazing up through the bright sun up at Dick who had situated himself in one of the tallest trees in Gotham Park. 

“Oh, c’mon, Zee! You should see the view from up here!” he shouted back at her, a bright grin on his lips as he peered down at her through bright green leaves.

“I prefer to keep my act on nice solid ground, thank you very much,” Zatanna replied, one hand on her hip now as she lifted a hand to shield her eyes from the uncharacteristically bright sunny sky. 

“Since when are you afraid of heights?” Dick asked, his goofy grin never fading as he finally started his descent back to solid ground. But, of course, not before he leaped from a branch, flaunting a double tuck and landing perfectly with his arms raised in the air.

“Since now, double-tuck wonder, watching you up there makes me nervous,” Zatanna giggled, shaking her head teasingly at her boyfriend as she walked over to him, meeting his open arms with her own, wrapping her arms around him. 

“Aw, you must really love me if you’re going as far as remembering gymnastic flips for me,” Dick teased, his eyes bright with adoration as he wrapped his arms back around Zatanna, holding her close. 

“Says the one who has been teaching himself card tricks for years,” Zatanna teased back, a teasing smirk on her lips as she was met with Dick’s jaw dropping.

“I have not- okay fine maybe I have. But who told you?!” Dick asked, eyes wide with betrayal.

“I’m not snitching,” Zatanna giggled.

“It was Steph, wasn’t it? It was totally Steph!” he groaned, throwing his head back dramatically but he didn’t loosen his grip on Zatanna. Hell, he hardly did. He always held her like it was his last time. Dick Grayson was very aware how short some people’s time was on this earth. He learned from a young age how painful and real it is to lose people you love, people you never thought you would have to say goodbye to. And it was always too soon.

“My lips are sealed,” Zatanna pressed her lips together for effect, knowing that she was far too much of a terrible liar to keep the guilty smile from pulling across her lips.

“You’re a terrible liar, Zee,” Dick snickered.

“Or maybe . . . you’re just a really good detective,” Zatanna disputed with a wiggle of her brow.

“Definitely just a bad liar, ” he replied, dipping his head down to press a gentle peck to her lips. “And a scaredy cat,” he mumbled against her lips with a playful grin before he pulled away slowly to see her reaction.

“Hey! It’s just dolls!” she argued, groaning a bit as it was now her turn to throw her head back.

“Dolls?” Dick asked, his brows knitted together in curiosity. “Like . . . Barbie dolls, cloth dolls . . . ” he trailed off.

“Not Barbie dolls , you ass!” Zatanna laughed, playfully smacking his shoulder before she shrugged. “Like . . marionettes. You know, the wooden puppet-looking things? Those. I can’t stand them.” she shuddered in his arms, just the thought of their terrifying faces made her skin crawl.

“So, if I was hold up in a room filled with dolls, I’d be a lost cause?” Dick inquired with a tilt of his head, his playful grin never leaving his face.

“Hmm . . . ” Zatanna pretended to think about it, causing Dick to give her an offended, kicked puppy look. “Dick,” she started with a small laugh, reaching up to hold his face in her hands gently. “Of course, I’d save you, I’ll always save you. No matter what,” Zatanna promised, gazing into his eyes with utmost genuineness. 

That promise made Dick’s chest hurt. Instead of speaking, he reached up his own hand to cup her cheek, pressing his lips gently against hers.

Notes:

and of course, this is dedicated to my local dick grayson kinnie sweet baby angel @thedickgrayson <3

Chapter 2: Night on the Rooftop

Summary:

An explosion occurs at Arkham Asylum and two particular inmates escape.

II. NIGHT ON THE ROOFTOP

Dick

Battered and bruised, Dick leaped his way across the dark rooftops of Gotham’s seemingly endless buildings. He landed once more, rubbing his sore shoulder with a quiet, pained hiss. It never mattered how many times he went on patrol, how many goons or otherwise criminal henchmen he fought . . . there was always more. Sometimes Dick just wanted a break; but he knew better. There was no 'break' in any sense of the word when it came to this line of worth. There never would be, not even if he decided to 'retire'. He'd be back, just like they all did.

“There you are,” Zatanna’s relieved voice came from above, causing Dick to look up from the wet blacktop beneath his feet. She floated down and onto her feet in front of Dick. “I told you I had it-” she started, though Dick’s tender hands reaching up to her face silenced her. He held her face as though she was made of the most delicate porcelain as if the pressure of his fingertips alone could shatter her into a million pieces.

Dick used to think that 'love' was something that only existed in the lines of poems and television screens. That changed the minute he met the gorgeous sorceress when her father had brought her to meet the team all those years ago. It was like time had stopped for Dick when he saw her; everything, for the first time in a long time, finally made sense again. There was more than just being Robin, more than just hoping to take up the Batman mantle someday. He realized that maybe he didn't even really want that, he realized he was more than just Batman's sidekick, more than just an orphan who Bruce Wayne took under his wing. He was Dick Grayson: a talented acrobat, brilliant detective. He was Nightwing: a night-time, crime-fighting vigilante who was a force to be reckoned with.

"I know you did,” he replied softly, tilting her face gently in his hands to examine her for any injuries she might have sustained from the group of robber assholes they had just stopped. He noticed a small cut across her cheek, a frown tugging down at his lips. 

“I’m okay, Dick,” Zatanna assured him, gently sliding her hands across his gloved hands to pull them down back to his sides. “Let’s get back to my place and get you cleaned up,” she added, taking his hand to begin to lead him down towards the fire escape. She knew he shouldn’t be pushing himself by jumping between rooftops as he usually did, even if it would be faster. And on top of that, she knew Dick would never admit that he shouldn't push himself any harder; mostly because he might not even know himself that he needed to stop. 

That’s when they heard the explosion. It vibrated the very building they stood on, the two stumbling forward slightly from the force of the shockwave. 

“What the hell?” Zatanna started, quickly finding and taking a hold of Dick’s hand as the two of them straightened up, gazing across the skyline toward where the thick plume of smoke had begun to pool in the air. “Is that . . .” she trailed off, feeling her stomach drop. Flames sparked and licked at the very edge of the horizon, hardly noticeable even when they squinted.

“Arkham,” Dick finished for her, standing there breathless for a brief moment before he was pulling Zatanna along with him towards the fire escape in much more of a hurry now. “We need to get back to the manor,” he explained, his voice now hollow as his mind started to race with countless horrific possibilities. What, or rather, who now?

“Wait, Babs is calling,” Zatanna interrupted, coming to a halt in their step before she tapped the little earpiece that Dick had supplied her, courtesy of The Oracle herself. Barbara talked so fast Zatanna could hardly process it, only providing quick indicators of ‘uh huh’ and ‘okay’ to tell her that she was listening and processing all of the information as fast as she possibly could. 

“Well?” Dick asked, his fear-stricken gaze making Zatanna even more worried.

“There was a breakout at Arkham, they were able to get most of it under control thanks to Jason, Tim, and Steph already being in the area,” she began.

“But?” Dick already could tell by the way Zatanna was looking at him that there was something else.

“But . . . two escaped,” She added quietly, her blue gaze shifting down to the wet blacktop beneath their feet. “Joker and Scarecrow are out.”

It felt as though time had stopped for Dick, frozen in place as he stared at his girlfriend. He was waiting for her to tell him she was just kidding, albeit that would be a very horrible and very un-funny joke, but he was hoping, praying. But the punchline never came.

“We need to find Jason,” Dick finally managed, the fear of his brother's reaction to Joker being free beginning to suffocate him. The worry for him, all of his family made his chest feel tight and heavy; as if there was a hundred pound weight sitting on his chest. He pulled Zatanna along with him, their hands still intertwined. Though instead, she pulled her hand free. “What are you-” he started, confusion evident in his face as his brows knitted together.

“You need to find Jason, I need to find my dad. We’ll meet up at the manor.” She explained, turning and heading in the opposite direction.

“Zatanna-” he called after her to argue, taking a few steps after her in objection. He didn't want her out of his sight. Not right now. He didn't want to even think of the possibilities that would unfurl if they were separated.

“I got this, remember? I’ll be fine, I promise,” she smiled at him before she leaped off the ledge onto the next building, sprinting back towards her father’s home.

Dick stood there, watching her until she disappeared. Zatanna was right. She could handle herself. That didn't change the fact that Dick would worry himself sick until she was in his sight again. On top of that, her smile was forced and it made him sick to his stomach. He turned himself now, cursing under his breath before sprinting across rooftops back to the manor. He needed to make sure everyone was there, that everyone was safe.

Notes:

This is my first time publishing, well, anything really, so I'm really excited to work on this! Kudos & comments are appreciated! :D

Chapter 3: Unleashing the Night

Summary:

Zatanna visits her father's office and makes a grim discovery.

III. UNLEASHING THE NIGHT

Zatanna

It didn’t take her long, adrenaline pumping through her veins as the icy, damp wind nipped at any exposed skin. The gasps of the cold air made her lungs burn, eventually coming to her father’s office. She slipped down onto the fire escape, yanking the window open.

“Dad? Dad?” she called out into the dim office, crawling through as she scrambled onto her feet after tripping and getting caught up in the silky curtains that lined the large window. Once on her feet, she glanced around, searching for any sign of her father. The office was empty; candles were still lit at his desk, a book still opened, a notepad at his side. His computer was still logged into, the homepage filled with dozens of disorganized folders and file shortcuts across a picture of herself and her father last Christmas. Her throat tightened with fear, swallowing it down the best she possibly could.

“Dad?!” Zatanna tried again, louder before she walked towards his desk, a piece of torn paper had been left on the keyboard. She picked it up, examining the note. He must have quickly scrawled his message, Zatanna had never seen his handwriting so sloppy.

 

Darling Zatanna,

I do hope you don’t mind that I had to borrow your father. He’s rather easy to manipulate when you threaten to touch a hair on his precious little girl’s head, pathetic! Don’t fret, he will be just fine as he does as he is told.
Do me a favor, will ya? I need you to pass on a message for me to dear ol’ Bats. 

 

I’m finishing what I started tonight! Meet at the clocktower at 2 o’clock in the morning, or he dies. Be there or be square! 

 

- XOXO, the Joker

 

Her hand shook as she clutched the piece of torn paper in her hands. She reached for the earpiece, tapping it several times with shaky fingers. 

 

“Oracle? Babs? Anyone? Please?” she felt like she was screaming at the top of her lungs, though her throat was so tight it hardly came out as even a weak, shaky whisper.

 

“Zee? What’s going on? Are you guys okay?” Barbara came in, a wave of relief washing over her when Barbara’s voice rang through her ear. She was safe. That meant the rest of them were safe, still at the manor, waiting. “My dad- I think Joker used him to take Jason to the clock tower. He’s going to finish what he started-” Zatanna started to ramble, climbing back out the window with the note tucked away in a pocket as she started to run towards the clock tower. It was already nearing one in the morning, they didn’t have enough time to come up with a very intricate plan. They needed to save Jason, that was all that mattered.

 

“What are you talking about? Jason is here.” Barbara replied, confusion evident in her tone.

 

“What? The note . . . Joker is going to 'finish what he started'. He said if Batman isn’t at the clocktower at two in the morning, 'he dies',” Zatanna continued, her brows knitting together as she climbed up the slippery fire escape onto the rooftop after shutting the window, despite the fact it was hardly necessary. She gazed out at the city, the smoke still filling the sky above Arkham Asylum.

 

“Everyone is here but you guys,” Barbara assured her. Zatanna could hear the confused look on her face, the knitted brows under the glasses she wore. 

 

“Oh no,” Zatanna gasped out, her blue eyes blowing wide with horrific, gut-wrenching realization. “No, no, no, no-” she whispered, her blood running cold as she felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Like there wasn't enough oxygen in the damp air to sustain her, to keep her breathing. She forgot how to.

 

“Zatanna, what is going on? Zee, you need to talk to me.” Barbara directed calmly. Zatanna never understood how she could always stay so cal and keep her head level through the absolute worst. She admired it, envied it, even. Especially right now,

 

“Dick isn’t with me,” she managed to choke out, her voice hardly above a whisper as she was still trying to catch the breath that had been forced out of her lungs.

 

“He took Dick. Joker has Dick.”

Chapter 4: Scent of Flowers

Summary:

Dick runs into a friend and reminisces on a beautiful memory.

IV. SCENT OF FLOWERS

Dick

His joints ached and he was exhausted as he ran as fast as his feet could carry him. His mind was flooded with every possible fear, worry, and concern his damn brain could manage. Jason’s reaction, Zatanna’s safety, the fact that Tim and Steph had been with Jason near the explosion, if Babs was okay, where Bruce was, what the hell Damian was up to with all of this . . .

“Richard!” the familiar voice tore through the icy air, calling from behind him. Giovanni. 

“Thank god, John. Are you okay? Zee left to meet you at your office-” he had begun, and then he realized that Giovanni was alone. And the look on his face . . . oh god, what had happened to her? “Where’s Zatanna?” Dick asked quickly, confusion flooding him as he took a step back now, examining his surroundings. 

“I’m so sorry, Richard. He threatened to kill her. I couldn’t . . . I’m so sorry. Please forgive me for this.” Giovanni whispered before he lifted his hands into the air, wisps of light flowing from his palms in his direction. Before he could even think of a reaction, he was wrapped, bound in blue light. He fought against the magical bindings, though it was useless. Magic wasn’t cheap rope you could get at the hardware store. It was unbreakable. Guilt was evident on Giovanni’s face as he cringed, watching his magic slowly incapacitate him.

"I'll figure something out, Zatanna will think of something. Please . . . oh dio, please forgive me," Giovanni whispered out, his voice strained as he held back tears. Dick wanted to speak, to tell him there was another way, that nothing would happen to Zatanna . . . but he couldn’t promise that. He had no damn idea where Zatanna even was, let alone if she was safe. Hell, for all he knew, Joker already had her in his possession and was just playing yet another sick fucking game with them. If he didn't have her, he still had to think about Scarecrow's grand plan, too . . . 

There was one benefit of what John was doing to Dick; he couldn’t worry while he was unconscious.

Instead, he was met with a sweet dream. It was one of his favorite memories, if not his favorite to date.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

It was summer. It was one of the very few days that the weather was actually nice in Gotham City. Dick and Zatanna had gone on a drive outside the city and into the nearby woods, hiking until they found a gorgeous field of flowers. She had rambled off something about Twilight and was dragging him through the trees to the center of the field.

“C’mon, lay with me!” Zatanna’s laugh echoed as she knelt down and lay amongst the flowers. They were beautiful shades of purple, blue, and white and they filled the entire field like dandelions would on the tree lawn in front of Wayne Tower. It was gorgeous, he hadn’t seen anything like it before.

Dick couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head a bit before he slowly descended down to lay beside her. The sweet smell of flowers carried on the warm breeze that brushed against his skin. 

“Does this satisfy your vampire romance fantasies?” he asked Zatanna with a bright grin on his lips.

“I’d say so. All we are missing is our Iron & Wine soundtrack,” she laughed, turning to lay on her stomach. She stretched to cross her arms over his chest, resting her chin atop her forearm as she gazed at him.

Dick turned, reaching to pluck one of the purple flowers from the grass, gently brushing Zatanna’s hair out of the way to settle the flower stem behind her ear, a grin spreading across his lips once more as the soft pink hue rose to her cheeks.

“I bet Jacob wasn’t half as romantic as I am,” he teased.

“No, it’s Edward! Jacob is the werewolf,” Zatanna laughed at his mix-up, lifting a hand to levitate a white flower into her hand to tuck it behind his ear so they matched. 

“Oh, please forgive me. How thoughtless of me.” he went on, dramatically resting the back of his hand on his forehead to play into his little performance.

“That is actually a capital offense, Richard Grayson. Any last words?” she asked in a falsely serious tone, her smile breaking through despite how hard she tried to keep a straight face.

“I love you,” Dick answered easily without even thinking twice. His lips parted immediately, ready to chase it with an apology as he felt his cheeks get hot. Before he could speak, Zatanna’s lips met his and made him lose focus.

“I love you, too,” she replied softly against his lips, pressing another soft peck to his nose as she beamed at him.

“Sweet. It was going to be super awkward if you didn’t,” Dick laughed, a lopsided smile on his lips before her laughter followed and melded with his own.

“Super awkward,” she agreed between her giggles, lifting her hand once more as wisps of blue light rose several of the flowers into the air, slowly braiding into a flower crown that she took from the air, resting it atop Dick’s head. 

“How do I look?” he asked with a soft laugh.

“Handsome. Gorgeous. Showstopping. Incredibly dashing,” Zatanna listed off plenty of extravagant adjectives to describe him.

“Okay, okay, you’re overdoing it now,” Dick laughed, leaning forward to pull her up slightly so she sat between his legs, capturing her lips in his once more. “But I really do pull it off, huh?” he mumbled against her lips, a smile spreading so wide he couldn’t keep their lips connected.

Zatanna giggled, her cool hand resting against his jaw. “You really do pull it off,” she affirmed, leaning her forehead against his. He didn’t know how long they sat like that, enjoying the fresh smell of the flowers, the sound of the soft bird chirps, and the feeling of each other’s arms around one another.

And then he woke up. And everything hurt.

Chapter 5: In the Stars

Summary:

Zatanna arrives at the clocktower.

V. IN THE STARS

Zatanna

“Zatanna, Zatanna! ” Barbara’s voice echoed in her ear as she ran, panting and gasping for air as she pushed herself to the breaking point. She hadn’t needed to run like this in a long, long while. It didn’t help that she could hardly remember to remind herself to breathe as all she could think about was him. She ignored Barbara’s efforts, unable to think straight.

All she could think about was all of the horrific, god-awful things that Dick was feeling right now. Zatanna didn’t even want to think about what the Joker was doing to him. Yet, she couldn’t push them away. She imagined all of it and tortured herself with it. She should have never left him alone, this wouldn’t have happened. 

“Fuck!” she cried out in anger, rage brewing deep within her veins, pulsing through every cell in her being. She was mad at herself, mad at the fucking rain that wouldn’t let up, mad at her father for going into his office today instead of going with Bruce to pick out a new entertainment center with Damian and probably convince Bruce to get some shitty burgers and overly-salted fries afterward.

Zatanna must have been so taken by her own thoughts she didn’t even realize she had arrived in front of the clock tower. She stared up at it, a flash of lightning cracking through the sky, followed by a booming roar of thunder. How cinematic, she thought bitterly.
“I’m here, and I’m going in Oracle,” she finally breathed out, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Zatanna, wait for-” she was cut off as Zatanna had reached up to mute Babs, though she kept herself connected so they could still hear her. She didn’t have time to be told to wait, to be talked into coming up with a plan. Dick was up there and she wasn’t going to waste another second.

She knew that if she was to use her magic to fly herself up there, she would be wasting very needed energy. She’d be better off climbing up the stairwell and dealing with whatever and whoever she ran into on the way. With one more look at the clock through the pouring rain, she shoved in the heavy access door.

1:38 in the morning. 

Zatanna was met with nearly complete darkness, reaching into a suit pocket for a thin set of night goggles. She was silently thanking Dick for how he always tucked different tools and gadgets into her suit jacket that she insisted she didn’t need. This would be a lot less exhausting for her to use rather than rely on her magic to see.

“Nosyarg kcid ot htap a em wohs [Show me a path to Dick Grayson],” she whispered under her breath, a thin, dim blue light appearing before her and leading her up the winding, steep stairwell. Zatanna gazed up through the likely dorky-looking yet very effective night goggles, jogging as fast as she could whilst still staying quiet as possible.

As Zatanna came up towards the first landing, she heard hushed voices. Goons.

Great, this was going to take a while. And she didn’t have a while. She had less than twenty minutes to get to the top of the clock tower.

Notes:

Okay, I hadn't expected people to actually like ,,, yanno ,,, see this in the midst of my rapid-fire brain rot word dump so I have edited and added a bit to previous chapters! :D

Chapter 6: When It Rains

Summary:

Dick wakes up held captive by the Joker.

Notes:

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENT & GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE, GORE, AND TORTURE. PLEASE DO NOT READ AHEAD IF ANY ASSOCIATED THEMES ARE A TRIGGER OR OTHERWISE MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

VI. WHEN IT RAINS

Dick

He couldn’t feel the ground. He felt like his entire body was on fire, he could taste blood in his mouth. Dick winced as he shifted, the bindings that held him suspended on what he now was coming to realize was the bell clapper. Figures. He forced his eyes open, his vision blurry as he lazily blinked a few times as an effort to focus his sight.

“Ooh, goody! You’re awake!” a bone-chilling voice shrilled from in front of him. His laughter echoed through the bell and the tower itself. Dick didn’t speak, unable to even if he wanted to. His throat was far too dry despite his hapless efforts to swallow the blood saliva that filled his mouth.

“Now, you’re not exactly the little bird I wanted, but you’ll get the point across just as fine, don’t ya think?” the Joker asked comically before he barked out another laughing fit. He had walked away, Dick only could hear his footsteps. He was unable to keep his eyes open. It felt as though every cell in his body was doused in gasoline and set aflame.

The screech of metal against concrete echoed through the tower, the scraping sound making him nauseous. He knew what he was doing. Joker was going to do to him what he had done to Jason; except this time, Dick had a feeling he would make sure he stayed dead. 

“Johnny boy felt real awful for kiddnappin’ ya and bringing you to me, wouldn’t stop talking and pleading. How annoying! I had Crane do away with him a few minutes ago . . . He wouldn’t stop blabbering about sparing you and his little girl. Oh, what’s her name . . . Brianna? Zarina? No . . . that’s not it . . . ” Joker tsked, tapping the flat of the crowbar against his chin, mumbling off similar variations to himself. “Oh, Boy Wonder, won’t you jog my memory?” he asked with a mocking pout.

“Fuck you,” Dick growled, forcing his heavy eyes open, his teeth clenched together as he shot daggers at Joker. Did away with John? He couldn’t have . . . John had a plan. There had to be a plan. He swallowed hard, watching Joker spin the crowbar in his hands with a wicked, inhuman smile spread so widely across his cheeks it made his jaw ache. 

“Ooh, I forgot you can say naughty words now!” Joker shrilled, whispering ‘naughty words’ before falling into another fit of maniacal laughter. “Oh, silly me. Zatanna! What a pretty name for a pretty witch. She’s very pretty isn’t she?” he inquired, his wicked smile never fading as he reached over to a laptop that was situated on the edge of the tower siding. There was a makeshift projection screen hung up to enlarge the screen so he could see it. 

All color left his face and he felt saliva pool into his mouth from the intense wave of nausea that took hold of him. It was Zee, she was in the tower. Her magic moved so fast he could hardly process what was going on, Goons flying back into brick walls, henchmen lunging at her with guns and knives. His eyes widened and a gasp left him when the last and final one had shot at her. He could fucking hear the gunshot. The bang echoed up through the tower and Dick’s hands began to shake. 

The goon had shot her in the abdomen, he could tell from the way her hand covered the source of the seeping red that began to stain her white top. Zatanna raised her hand to cast a spell and was instead met with another bullet piercing her hand. Caught off guard, another shot. And another, and another, and another . . . Dick didn’t know when he had started screaming, but he was screaming. He screamed so loud his throat burned, jerking against the thick rope that held him by his wrists and forearms. He couldn’t feel his hands. He couldn’t feel anything.

“Zatanna!” Dick screamed out after the video cut out after the goon had fired a final shot at the camera. He thrashed against the bindings, tears beginning to blur his vision as he clenched his teeth together so hard he was sure he was going to shatter them.

“Oof, I supposed I should say she was very pretty,” Joker blew out a whistle of air, another loud fit of laughter echoed as another loud crack of thunder rumbled around them, the rain pouring infinitely harder now. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he bit his tongue, fighting back the sobs that were choking him.

“I’m going to kill you, I’m going to kill you,” Dick repeated in a growl under his breath, his hands still shaking with rage as his lip quivered.

“Oh, goody! Another vengeful nemesis, how exciting!” the Joker screeched, clasping his hands together after tucking the crowbar under his arm to free his hands to do so. Soon enough, his hand was wrapped around the arm of the crowbar as he stepped towards him, a sickening smile spreading across his lips before the Joker paused. Then he swung.

CRACK!

Swing.

CRACK!

Another swing.

CRACK!

Dick cried out through clenched teeth, his eyes screwed shut as each blow to his ribs felt like glass was piercing into his insides. 

“It's so tragic to cut our newfound nemesis relationship short, but I have a lot more bats to exterminate!” Joker cackled wickedly, taking another swing at Dick, a fiery hot pain searing through the back of his head before everything went black.

Chapter 7: Headlight Spirits

Summary:

Zatanna fights off clocktower goons and gets a taste of revenge.

Notes:

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENT & GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE, GORE, AND TORTURE. PLEASE DO NOT READ AHEAD IF ANY ASSOCIATED THEMES ARE A TRIGGER OR OTHERWISE MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

VII. HEADLIGHT SPIRITS

Zatanna

She was nearing the top, finally. She worked her way through Goons and henchmen effortlessly, fueled by nothing but pure, raw emotions. Was it chaotic and risky? Absolutely. But it was working. And that’s all that mattered. Her eyes were glowing brightly under her goggles, reaching forward to take a hold of another goon before she shoved her hand over to the side, muttering the words ‘gniliar eht revo mih worht [throw him over the railing]’ under her breath. 

Zatanna noticed the camera now and she thought of a plan. She needed to lose. Or, rather, make Joker, or whoever the hell was watching, think she lost. An illusion spell was one of the first ones most Homo magi kids master. She ascended to the next landing, wiping out the goons with easy before she projected another one to shoot her multiple times before shooting out the camera. There was gunfire, yes. But she was pulling the trigger out the window; whoever was watching the camera would see her die. Zatanna took a moment to recover and catch her breath after that somewhat strenuous projection. She climbed out the window and onto the damp ledge, seeing that the top was only a floor away. She could manage that. 

Zatanna needed to take Joker off guard and this was her chance. “Etativel [levitate],” she whispered, stepping off the railing to slowly rise up the edge of the clock tower, wispy ropes of blue light encircling her heels and wrists as she floating up to the bell level. She slipped over the edge and silently walked down the short hall and the minute she saw Joker, she hissed out “Spaceenk sih rettahs dna sgel sih kaerb [break his legs and shatter his kneecaps]!”, finally able to slide the goggles up onto her head instead of over her eyes.

The Joker let out a shriek of pain, the cracks of his joints and bones leaving him in a writhing heap on the floor. 

She felt light headed as she rushed over to Dick. Zatanna was moving mindlessly reaching over to grab Dicks legs before muttering “Stsirw sih eitnu [untie his wrists],” She caught him by pulling him forward quickly into her arms, already god knows how many apologies deep and she held him in her shaky arms. 

“Sdnuow sih laeh dna senob sih dnem [mend his bones and heal his wounds],” Zatanna breathed out, holding Dick in her arms as ropes of blue light whipped around the two of them. “You’ll be sore, but you'll be good as new in a day,” she managed an exhausted smile. Blood dripped down her forehead from a small gash near her hairline, nothing serious nor worth stitches. She hadn’t even noticed it.

“C’mon,” she whispered, helping Dick up, supporting his arm across her shoulder as she held onto his waist carefully, helping him over to the ledge where she could spell them a nice fluffy landing to avoid exerting herself completely to bits by floating the both of them down there. At this point, both of them had drowned out the Joker’s cries of pain as he writhed on the floor to find any ounce of dignity. 

“Mih niartser [restrain him],” Zatanna spoke, glancing back at the Joker who was now swept up and wrapped dozens of times in thick, thick ropes and heavy chains. Overkill? Maybe, but it wasn’t work the risk when it came to him . It was taking everything in her to use the rest of her energy to get them out of there rather than stick around and Zatanna give Joker pain that made what gave Dick and Jason look like a god damn cake walk.

“Ah, ah, ah, not so fast,” a humored, muffled voice broke from behind them. 

Scarecrow .

Zatanna turned, her eyes fixated on the flamethrower style gun; it didn’t take a genius to put together what was actually going to come out of the end of that barrel. 

“Dnuorg eht no demrahnu dna ylefas dnal mih ekam [make him land safely and unharmed on the ground]!” Zatanna managed at the last minute as she shoved Dick out of the way before the fear toxin gas could reach him. 

Dick was safe, the others would find him in minutes time. 

The sickenly sweet smell filled her nostrils as the neon green tendrils of smoke suffocated her. She fell to her knees, clutching her throat desperately as she tried to find her voice. It was too late. Zatanna collapsed onto the cold concrete and was sucked into a truly deadly nightmare.

Chapter 8: Down the Styx

Summary:

Zatanna experiences horrific fear toxin hallucinations.

Notes:

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENT & GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE, HEAVY GORE, AND TORTURE. PLEASE DO NOT READ AHEAD IF ANY ASSOCIATED THEMES ARE A TRIGGER OR OTHERWISE MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

VIII. DOWN THE STYX

Zatanna

It took a few attempts to fully come to her sense, blinking hard as she pushed herself off the stained concrete floor. Her head throbbed and her throat burned. Zatanna lifted her hand to clutch her forehead, feeling as though someone had dropped a twenty-pound dumbbell on her head. A small grunt left her as she pushed herself off the dusty concrete, blinking a few times again for her vision to settle. She didn’t recognize her surroundings, but it smelled like hot wax, fresh paint, and rotting books. 

She tilted her head, confused. While it had originally been too dim to really see before, the darkness was moving in closer around her. It felt thick as if the darkness carried a weight to it; almost as if she was being draped in a blanket of darkness. And the smell . . . it made her cover her mouth in disgust, coughing into her palm as she became draped in darkness, unable to see even a foot in front of her.

What followed was an ear-ringing silence, she kept her hand over her mouth in a futile attempt to mask the stench of decay that flooded her senses.

Then there was an echo in the distance; squeaking, like a hinge that desperately needed to be oiled. It got louder. And louder. And louder . . . until it sounded like it, whatever the source of the noise was, was right in front of her. 

Then there was light, too much of it. It was so bright that Zatanna had to mask her eyes for a few moments before her eyes could start to adjust through a heavy squint. Then she saw it. A huge, mangled marionette doll. 

Fucking fear toxin.

A scream had left her out of instinct from the sudden scare, jumping back. Her back hit something hard, though it gave away with ease. Turning, she saw endless rows of marionette dolls, all covered in blood and torn rotting flesh. Her surroundings seemed to mimic that of an abandoned factory and, of course in her worst nightmare, one for marionette dolls. Their unnatural jaws chomped open and closed, their squeaky joints moving as the strings that led above were pulled up and down.

Zatanna’s heart raced in her chest, too horrified to even scream as her eyes followed the string above. A giant Scarecrow stood above as if she was in a miniature landscape and he was playing with the dolls, playing with her; like she was just another toy to him. And it wasn’t far off. When she was under the fear toxin . . . she was his toy. His own, living puppet.

She turned back as the loud clobbering of wood and ear-piercing squeaks echoed behind her again, the gigantic marionette no longer looking like a classically painted, wooden puppet. The wooden exterior had been replaced with flesh, the cloth overalls replaced with a familiar blue and black suit, and the face . . . Zatanna collapsed to her knees and dry heaved. The sudden wave of nausea made her dizzy, her vision unfocused, spinning.

The marionette was Dick. He was maimed, his mouth cut into a smile all the way up to his cheeks, his eyes lifeless, unblinking. Blood poured from his sliced lips, the waterfall of blood spraying her with burning hot droplets of blood as Scarecrow moved the strings. Dick screamed with each movement, his joints mangled to accommodate the strings and unnatural movement of his limp body.

Zatanna was finally able to find her voice, blood-spattered hands covering her face as tears poured down her face as she let out a mix of a sob and a scream.

“Stop, make it stop! Please, make it stop! ” Zatanna wailed into her hands, feeling like her heart was going to explode from how fast it was racing. If not that, her lungs exploding from how hard she was gasping and choking for air between tears.

“ Pots! ” she screamed out again, covering her ears to try to block out the sound of Dick’s screams of pain, his torture.

And then there was nothing. It was silent, darkness surrounded her. Except, it wasn't heavy as it was before. It was light, freeing.

“Nixot raef fo ydob ym dir [rid my body of fear toxin]!” Zatanna demanded, lifting her hands to feel the energy that radiated through her body. 

A gasp ripped through her lungs as she lunged forward, eyes shooting open as she came to. In the corner near the stairwell, she saw Scarecrow struggling to lift Joker’s broken body. Her awakening caught their attention and Joker groaned.

“I told you she would wake up, you blubbering idiot!” Joker hissed through clenched teeth up at Scarecrow who took no time to drop him back onto the hard floor, earning a stifled cry of pain from the broken clown. 

Zatanna smirked.

Before Scarecrow could even grab his fear-thrower, as she coined it at this very moment, she opened her mouth.

“ Ekohc [choke],” Zatanna commanded coldly, watching Scarecrow clutch his throat as he was lifted into the air, levitating as he kicked his feet helplessly. After, she glanced over to Joker who was beginning to climb down the stairs as fast as he could. She walked over, bending down near the top of the stairwell. 

“Evila gninrub si eh eveileb mih ekam [make him believe he is burning to death],” Zatanna ordered through clenched teeth, her eyes nothing but bright blue, searing light as she watched the Joker truly lose his mind. He writhed madly, his piercing screams echoed hardly against the cold walls of the clocktower. He begged her to stop.

She didn’t react, standing up once again and stepping back; Scarecrow clawed at his throat, thrashing violently in the air, helpless. 

Now he was her puppet.

“Zatanna . . .?” she heard a hushed voice from behind her. She turned around to see Steph and Tim. They were horrified. But the odd thing was . . . they weren’t looking at Joker or Scarecrow.

They were looking at her.

Notes:

thank you guys for the kudos & comments, you guys are so sweet!!

Chapter 9: Carry Me Out

Summary:

Dick realizes what Zatanna has done and has some uncomfortable self-reflection.

Notes:

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENT & GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE, HEAVY GORE, AND TORTURE. PLEASE DO NOT READ AHEAD IF ANY ASSOCIATED THEMES ARE A TRIGGER OR OTHERWISE MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

IX. CARRY ME OUT

Dick

The sound of her blood-curdling screams ripped him from his slumber. His stomach twisted into endless knots, all color draining from his face as he peered up at the clocktower through the icy rain.

She saved him. It was supposed to be him.

Just like she promised. And god, did Dick wish she never did. Not that it would have truly changed anything, it was Zee. His Zee. That’s just who she was, no matter who it was. The hot tears that spilled down his cheeks burned against his numb skin as he stayed frozen in place. It was like he only now was truly able to process what had just happened in the last 60 seconds; Zatanna was alive, she saved him, she healed him, she sacrificed herself for him.

“Dick! ” a familiar voice hissed behind him to get his attention. He must have zoned out whatever they had said before if they went to the extent of using his actual name. Dick blinked, focusing ahead as he now realized there was a whole human being in front of him. Jason. Even while he had his mask on, there was the teeniest amount of relief he felt seeing him, his family. “Can you hear me? Hey, look at me,” Jason urged, placing his hands on the sides of his shoulders to shake him gently.

“Hey, little bird,” he muttered, still stuck in his daze for a moment.

“C’mon, we need to get back to the manor,” he whispered, lifting Dick’s arm to drape over his shoulder so Jason could support him by wrapping his arm around his back. He mumbled something, not even he could understand before he was ripped out again by Zatanna’s spine-chilling screams. All he could hear was her screams. And they wouldn’t stop, they turned into pained sobs. Pleas. He felt lightheaded.

“I need to get to her . . . let me go, Jay-” Dick spoke louder now, forcing himself to fight through nausea and dizziness. He lazily pushed Jason’s hands off of him before he started off into a sprint toward the tower.

Jason was quick, reaching out as he chased after him to grip his wrist and pull him back. Dick turned and looked at him with dark eyes.

“Dick, you need to sit this one out, trust me-” Jason had begun, but Dick cut him off.

“I said let me go! ” he yelled now, venom lacing his demand as he jerked his hand out of Jason’s grip. 

Jason’s expression fell, his hand dropping instantly before he pressed his lips into a flatline, stepping back.

Dick instantly regretted it. He didn’t have time to apologize now. His eyes softened now, swallowing the lump in his throat as he watched his brother’s hurt expression before he pulled his mask back on, turning to run in another direction.

He wanted to chase after him, but Zatanna’s screams had stopped. That scared the hell out of him. Dick could spend the rest of his years apologizing to Jason. He only had potential seconds to save Zee. He cursed under his breath as he turned, running with all he had toward the tower, fumbling for his grappling hook before he shakily aimed it up at the top of the clock tower, yanking himself along with the hook. 

In the brief moments he zipped through the icy rain, guilt suffocated him from all directions. Guilt for letting Zatanna go search for John on her own, for snapping at Jason. Hatred brewed just as strongly. Hatred for himself, for the ways he became Bruce in every way he never wanted to. 

He landed on the ledge, finding Tim and Steph standing in front of Zatanna. 

No one was speaking, everyone was frozen. It was almost as if time stopped. Well, at least for the three of them. On the stairwell, Joker was shrieking, clawing, and slapping at his skin as he begged for ‘it to stop’. Scarecrow was every shade of red, his wide eyes beginning to flutter closed beneath his hood. 

Dick pushed off the wet ledge, taking a few careful steps toward Zatanna. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he spoke quietly, offering his hands out carefully with a weak smile, his busted lip splitting once more as he did so. Dick took slow, cautious steps toward Zee. Her hands were clenched so hard her small fists shook, the entirety of her eyes taken up by an intimidating blue glow. 

He shifted his gaze over to Tim and Steph now, who had been joined by Cass. Based on this split, Dick presumed Bruce, Jason, and Duke were all on John duty. He was sure Bruce would have demanded Damian stay back at the manor for ‘backup’, surely to Damian’s dramatic demise. They read his eyes, splitting up to take a hold of Joker and Scarecrow respectfully. Cass took Joker, Tim and Steph took Scarecrow.

“Make them sleep, Zee, how about that?” Dick offered calmly. Scarecrow didn’t have much time left and Joker was nearing unconscious from how hard he had been shrieking, only letting out silent screams, his mouth hanging open as tears melted away his caked makeup.

It didn’t matter what they wanted. Of course, no one in this room thought either of these assholes deserved to live. But that wasn’t how they did things. Death would be too easy for them. Dick stepped closer now as Zatanna’s hands began to relax out of their tight fits, her shoulders falling forward as he took another step closer, his gloved hands reaching to rest against her arms gently.

“Make them sleep,” his voice came in a whisper, his eyes soft as he gazed down at her. Finally, her bright blue glow faded from Zatanna’s eyes. 

“Meht ekaw i litnu peels meht ekam [make them sleep until I wake them],” she managed, hardly above a whisper.

As soon as the words left Zee’s lips, Scarecrow collapsed onto the floor with Tim and Steph taking a hold of him. Joker stopped writhing, falling still beside the deep breaths that made his blood-spattered suited chest rise and fall. 

Dick did not speak. Instead, he reached around Zatanna to pull her close against his chest, dipping his head to press a gentle kiss to the crown of her head. His hand rose to rest at the back of her head, holding her tightly. Dick felt her body shudder, muffled sobs drowning out against the fabric of his suit. He lifted his hand, closing his eyes as tears began to well in his own eyes now, shakily combing his gloved fingers through Zatanna’s hair to soothe her.

“They found John,” Babs's voice came in over his earpiece, and relief washed over him. He understood why John had done what he did; he did it for Zatanna. With her life on the line . . . there was no saying what lengths he would go to save her.  “He’s in bad shape, but he’ll recover,” Barbara reported, surely able to hear Zatanna’s muffled sobs through the mic and knowing well enough he likely wouldn’t be responding.

“It’s okay. We’re okay,” he mumbled against her hair, pressing another kiss to the top of her head. 

Dick stood like that with Zatanna in his grasp, holding her as tight as she needed him to, alternating between stroking her hair and rubbing her back until her sobs finally ceased. Likely because she had finally depleted any and all energy she had. She stood silently, staring at nothing.

Dick reached carefully with one hand to nudge up her chin gently with his fingers, encouraging eye contact. It took a few seconds but she obliged.

“I lost control, I’m so sorry, I-” Zatanna was beginning to spiral again as she finally found her voice. Instead, Dick leaned closer to close the small space between them, pressing his lips softly against hers. Everything about the kiss was gentle, almost to the point that it seemed hesitant. After a few moments, Dick pulled away and leaned his forehead against Zee’s.

“Everyone is safe, that’s all that matters. They found John, too, he’s seeing Gotham’s best house call doctor in all of Gotham,” he managed a weak smile, carefully tracing his thumb along Zatanna’s jawline. He could feel her relax in his grasp, her soft breath leaving her lips in relief as she leaned forward, her forehead instead resting against his shoulder. 

Dick rubbed her back again for a moment or two before he bent down a bit, lifting her up into his sore arms. Considering everything that happened to him, something he couldn’t allow himself to think about right now, Zatanna had healed a majority of his injuries. If she didn’t show up, if she didn’t fulfill her promise, he didn’t know if there would have been anything of him left when the others showed. 

Zatanna’s arms reached and hung around his neck as one of his arms supported her legs, the other wrapped around her back to hold her close against him, secure. 

“I love you,” she mumbled tiredly, her bruised fingers brushing against his collarbones that were concealed by his suit.

“I know,” Dick started quietly, a soft smile tugging on his lips before he pressed a kiss to the side of her head as he descended down the steps of the clock tower. 

“I love you too, more than anything.”

 

︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

 

FIN.

Notes:

everyone say thank you to the loml alucard [@thedickgrayson] for the dick grayson characterization tips for this chapter! <33

thank you guys for reading yet another product of my unyielding chalant brain rot! <3

Chapter 10: Epilogue

X. EPILOGUE

Zatanna

She sat quietly at her father’s bedside in the manor. His unconscious body was hooked up to several contraptions: oxygen, a heartbeat monitor, and an IV to keep him hydrated and medicated while he rested. Zatanna chewed on her lower lip, reaching to take a hold of her father’s hand. His hands were always so warm, and soft. Zatanna’s blue eyes dropped to the floor, swallowing hard as she did her best to control her breathing. She had done more crying in the last twenty-four hours than most people did in a lifetime, it felt. 

Yes, everyone made it out okay. Yes, everyone was safe. But not Zatanna, not from her own mind. Guilt clawed at her relentlessly. If she would have stayed with Dick if she would have told her father he should really go spend time with Bruce that day and get his nose out of his work for once. She sucked in a breath through her nose, leaning forward to rest her forehead against the edge of the mattress. She bit down on her tongue, forcing back the tears that wanted to spill out. 

Something cold and wet nudged her free hand that was draped across her knee. With furrowed brows she tilted her head down a bit between the space of her arms, peering down at the source of the nudge. Haley. Dick’s sweet rescue pup sat knowingly at her side, her tail wagging with excitement now that Zatanna had acknowledged her presence. 

“Hey, girl, didn’t even hear you come in,” she mumbled tiredly, a weak smile pulling across her lips as she lifted her hand, lazily petting Haley between her ears. Her long tongue rolled out her mouth, her sweet eyes gazing up at the sorceress. 

“She learns from the best,” Dick’s voice came in behind her. She lifted her head, seeing him leaning against the door frame with a small grin on his lips. Haley took this opportunity to jump up with her front paw, resting it against her leg to try to lick her face. Quiet giggles fell past her lips, trying to dodge Haley’s kisses. 

“Does she get this from you, too?” Zatanna teased with another soft laugh, finally free once Haley got bored of her and went to pry Dick for some attention from him now.

“I am not a sloppy kisser!” Dick mocked offense in a whisper, a hand over his chest before he kneeled down to rub the sides of Haley’s face, petting her until she decided she was tired of him too, trotting away. Zatanna assumed she was probably heading back up to his room to go back to sleep.

Dick stood there quietly, watching Zee carefully before she groaned, her shoulders falling forward a bit. 

“I know, I know,” she sighed out, looking down at her hands and picking at the chipped polish on her nails.

“I didn’t even say anything yet,” he chuckled softly as he took a few steps towards her reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder. 

“You don’t have to, I know what you’re thinking,” she mumbled softly, her gaze fixated on the tile floor.

“And what’s that?” Dick asked quietly, reaching his other hand up to gently nudge her chin up so she would look at him, his thumb gently stroking across her chin.

“That I need to sleep, that I need to stop torturing myself, to stop wallowing and drowning myself in futile guilt,” she answered, her gaze following his movements until her eyes bet his.

“Well, that is all very true,” he offered a small smile, bending down to press his lips against her forehead. His hands slid down her arms to find her hands, gently pulling her up onto her feet in front of him. “But I was going to say that I made you cioccolata calda upstairs, and I was going to ask if you wanted whip cream,” he replied as he wrapped his arms around her waist, his eyes warm with nothing but adoration and love for the sorceress in his arms.

Her heart melted into a puddle on the floor, she was sure of it. Cioccolata calda was her favorite, a thick Italian hot chocolate that her father had perfected over years. John would always make it for Zatanna after she had a bad day, especially when she was learning magic and would be hard on herself. Doubting herself. Her lower lip quivered, her eyes soft as the gesture was almost too much.

“Hey, no more of that,” he mumbled softly, brushing some of her dark hair over her shoulder before he cupped her cheek in his hand. “Please,” Dick whispered. 

She leaned into his touch, her eyes closing for a moment before she nodded. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that, you should be resting . . .” Zatanna trailed off, looking up at him as she reached to rest her hand atop his. 

“Not without you,” he replied, reaching to press another kiss to her forehead. “C’mon, Cass is making homemade whip cream, and you don’t want to keep her waiting,” he chuckled softly, pulling back a bit to look at her.

Zatanna glanced back at her father who still remained asleep, his heartbeat monitor beeping in the otherwise quiet room. 

“He’s okay, Zee, he just needs time,” Dick assured her, gently running his hand up and down her upper back soothingly. She nodded, sucking in a breath and exhaling slowly before nodding again as if to convince herself further. 

“Damian put down the knife!” Zatanna could hear Cass shout from above once the door was closed behind them.

“Give me the hot chocolate, then!” Damian had shouted back at her. Zatanna couldn’t help but stifle a laugh with her hand, the other intertwined with Dick’s hand as he led her upstairs towards the kitchen. He shot her a playful wide-eyed look, pretending to be uneasy about the situation they were walking into.

“Take the leftover chocolate chunks, you little gremlin! Shoo! This is for Zee!” Duke’s voice came out more hushed, at least trying to keep it down considering it was now nearing five in the morning. 

“C’mon, he won’t even notice-” Damian groaned in a hushed tone.

“Oh yes, he will. Back away from the cioccolata calda!” Dick warned as they emerged from the steps, and Damian scattered with a ziplock of chocolate chunks down the opposite hallway.

“My hero,” Zatanna laughed softly, shaking her head at all of their antics. 

“Dick Grayson, defender of cioccolata calda everywhere,” he grinned, raising his hands across the air in front of him as if to infer that title would be spread far and wide. She only laughed harder now, Duke bringing her a warm mug and Cass followed after, plopping a thick scoop of fresh whip cream on top.

“Ta-da!” they all said in unison, grinning at Zatanna. She felt like she was going to cry again, of course for much better reasons.

“I love you guys,” she managed, her lips turning into a soft pout as she took the mug from Duke.

“We love you too, Zee,” Duke said with a bright grin. Cass smiled and handed her a spoon.

Dick beamed, wrapping an arm back around Zatanna’s waist, and pressing a soft kiss to the side of her head. 

“We sure do.”

Notes:

annnnnnnnd that's all folks! except the fact that the entire bat family is in extensive therapy because i said so. they need it, my poor sweet baby angels.

thank you guys for being so sweet & wonderful, i can't wait to write more for my favorite duo!