Work Text:
When Lily said she wanted James and Petunia to get along, James doesn't think she meant it like this.
The three of them had met up again (sans Vernon this time, since that hadn’t gone well in the slightest), and all Petunia had to do was make one offhand, insulting comment about the greasy-haired boy that Lily used to be friends with, and James was off. He'd taken great pleasure in insulting Snivellus with Petunia (and he was pleasantly surprised by her unique and entertaining insults – one of his favorites being “His hair was so greasy that he could have used it to make fried chicken”).
Lily hadn't been thrilled (even though she wasn't friends with Snape anymore, she didn't think the insults were necessary or appropriate), but she was so relieved that her boyfriend and sister were getting along that she said nothing. Who knew that all James and Petunia needed to break the ice was a common enemy? James supposed the saying really was true - the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Petunia wasn't exactly sunshine and rainbows after that, but she had thawed towards him slightly, and James was determined to win her over (anyone who compared Snape to a proboscis monkey was worth being friends with). It turned out they bonded over another thing too - alcohol.
Lily rarely drank, but James loved it. He and the Marauders went out to the pub all the time (much to Lily's displeasure, but it was his friend time, and she could hang out with her friends too, so he felt like it was a compromise). It turned out that Petunia loved drinking too - granted, James drank Firewhiskey while Petunia preferred Vodka or Rum, but still; it was a nice shared interest.
One night when they were supposed to meet up with Petunia (never with Vernon anymore – they all decided that was best), Petunia decided that she wanted to go to a pub instead, because she had a huge fight with Vernon. Lily opted not to go (aside from her dislike of drinking, she also was uncomfortable around Petunia when she was too inebriated), but James could use a drink, so he went on his own, ignoring the frown on Lily’s face – he was trying to get to know her sister the way she said she wanted him to, so how was he the bad guy?
After that, it became a regular thing. James still went out with Marauders, but now he met up with Petunia once a week for drinks too. She usually complained about her boyfriend (James thought she could do much better), and James usually complained about Slytherins, but it worked for them.
Petunia was different when she drank; she was less reserved and more relaxed, like she could finally let go of the things that normally held her back. James liked how she didn’t judge him when he insulted other people (he was just having fun, after all). Petunia didn’t make him feel like a jerk for it; on the contrary, she enjoyed it and often joined in. He felt like he could truly be himself (flaws and all) without fear of reproach. Up until then, he had never realized how much Lily made him feel like he was supposed to be on his best behavior. If he was being honest, he could admit that he was starting to resent it. Why couldn’t she just accept him for who he was?
One night, after several drinks, James had made some silly, disparaging remark about one of the other customers at the pub, and that was when he heard Petunia laugh for the first time. He froze for a moment, stomach squirming as his body felt oddly warm. The sound was beautiful. When Petunia laughed, it lit up her whole face and her eyes twinkled. It took James’ breath away. Her laugh and her smile were such rare, precious things, and the fact that it was James who brought them out made him feel like he was floating, and there was a strange ache in his chest.
On another night after that occasion, James was fed up with hearing her complaints about Vernon; it infuriated him to know how dismissive and patronizing the man was to Petunia. She deserved so much better than Vernon bloody Dursley, and he told her as much vehemently. She froze, eyes widening, and James didn't know it at the time, but it was because no one had ever told her that she deserved something good.
She surged forward, kissing him before his brain could even process that she moved, but then his mind completely shut down. He kissed her back frantically, feeling like he was drowning and she was his air. Her tongue did sinfully delicious things, and James could only thank Merlin he didn't embarrass himself by coming in his trousers in the middle of the pub.
They’d already had a few drinks, which James liked to use as an excuse for why he forgot about Lily entirely, but the truth was, Petunia was just all-consuming: overwhelming, intoxicating, and slightly dangerous. It left him feeling dizzy. They went back to his place, and she didn't even complain about the way he apparated with her (he's frankly glad he didn't splinch them in his haste).
She tore his clothes off, and he eagerly followed suit, feeling like an overly excited virgin, but he was beyond caring. She was gorgeous naked - tall, pale, and skinny but with perfectly round breasts - in an almost untouchable way. He felt like she should be a sculpture that he just admired from afar.
She pushed him onto the bed, straddling him easily, and James felt like he was going to blow at any moment. She was only slightly older than him, but she was definitely more experienced. It was so different from being with Lily (who was shy, sweet, and slightly awkward) – Petunia knew what she wanted, and she wasn't afraid to take it from him, chasing her own pleasure and ignoring his, though he found it regardless.
When she straddled his head, sitting on his face without warning, he moaned loudly, lapping up her juices like a man dying of dehydration, following each and every command she gave about how she liked it. He loved that she ordered him around, and he loved the way she threw her head back, thighs shaking as she moaned. He got off once – untouched – just from the taste and sound of her.
As soon as he was hard again, she rode him like a bloody professional, and James couldn’t even thrust up to meet her movements, because it was too intense, and he was barely hanging on, just lying there and letting her use his cock however she pleased. He knew he was leaving marks on her hips from the way he was gripping them desperately, but his entire body felt like it was on fire, and he needed the cold skin to ground him enough so that he wouldn’t be consumed by it.
When he came the second time, it was the most powerful orgasm he'd ever experienced, and he blacked out for a moment. She fell asleep soon after - a mixture of alcohol, post-orgasm bliss, and exhaustion (James was a little embarrassed about how she did most of the work, but she didn’t seem like she minded). She was beautiful when she slept too - her face softened, and she seemed peaceful. He couldn't resist holding her and thinking about how perfectly she fit in his arms.
That was the beginning of the end for him.
When reality set in the next morning (and he remembered Lily), guilt swelled up, and they agreed tersely that it was a mistake and would never happen again, but James had tasted the forbidden fruit, and now he would forever crave it and been drawn to her like a moth to a flame. She would be his downfall, and he would go willingly. They always used alcohol as an excuse, but they were rarely drunk anymore when they were together. Petunia was his drug, and he was addicted.
When he showed her magic for the first time, she had tried to hide her interest by looking disgusted, but he'd learned to read her expressions now. He saw the intrigue, but he also saw the pain and longing, and his heart ached for her. He couldn’t imagine knowing about magic and not being able to do it. He started buying her things from Zonko's Joke Shop – items and wands with one automatic spell in them that were meant just for fun. She had been skeptical at first, but when she held her fake wand and it shot little fireworks out, her eyes had lit up in joy, a happy disbelief on her face, and James knew he was doomed; he would do anything in the world to make her happy.
Lily deserved someone who was faithful to her – she deserved better than him – but James had always been selfish. He stayed with her for far too long before telling her the truth, and at first, it was because a part of him still wanted to be with her, but after a while, he could admit (only ever to himself) that he was afraid he would never see Petunia again if he wasn’t dating Lily.
By the time he and Petunia were officially together, and he’d finally ended things with Lily, she’d been so hurt and confused, and James felt like an arse, but he still didn’t regret it. Petunia hadn’t felt guilty at all - she looked almost smug when Lily found out - and James had this hollow, stomach-churning fear that she had used him for exactly that. He pushed the thoughts away, refusing to believe them, because they hurt too much.
He was already in too deep, and there was no way to come back up. He was hers until the end of his days; he just hoped she was his too.