Chapter Text
"Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red."
Kait Rowoski
Scars are an inevitable part of life.
They become a part of whoever bears them, telling a story of pain and perseverance—of battles won and of wars survived.
You were a map. A complex network of scars that marked the different battles you’d been forced to fight and the people you’d been ordered to kill.
You used to hate them. You hated that they were a constant reminder of your failures. A reminder of your weakness.
It was Sakura who helped you realize that they didn’t have to be a brand of shame. In the eyes of someone more hopeful than you’d ever been, they became a mark of strength.
You met Sakura when she was assigned on her first mission as your partner. She was barely thirteen then, but she had showed incredible promise from the time that she was first recruited. However, her control over her emotions had not yet been refined. She still hesitated in the face of a routine assassination. Her empathy was her fatal flaw, and it was a problem that the Headmaster expected you to solve. Whether you achieved that end through continuous training or through force was inconsequential to him.
Black Widows did not have time for hesitation or remorse. They lived in a world where defiance was equal to death. That was the first lesson Sakura needed to learn if she wanted to survive in the Red Room.
The first time Sakura saw you, you didn’t blame her for flinching. Your face hadn’t looked normal for a long time, and you’d come to expect the reactions you often got. A long, jagged scar ran from your jaw to your shoulder, and improper care had made the healing process slow and painful. Now you had the mark to show for it.
“A scar is not the mark of a mistake made,” the Headmaster had once told you, “It’s another lesson—that you are stronger than whatever gave it to you.”
You’d repeated those words to Sakura when she got her first scar. It was what you told her as she cried in your arms, begging that you take her away when she was twelve and had been ordered to kill for the first time. It was what you kept repeating to yourself after you were reassigned and had to leave her behind for almost a year. But the empty words didn’t help, and your guilt stayed with you like a curse sitting on your shoulder. Even when you saw her again nearly a year later, the guilt was even heavier on your shoulders.
And despite the life that you desperately wanted for Sakura, you were far too late. Once someone was recruited into the Red Room, there was only one way to be free. It was a fate that many widows had succumbed to, and one that many others would inevitably meet.
One way or another, Sakura’s life had ended the moment she became a Black Widow.
“You’re not going.”
Naruto’s heartbroken face barely made a dent in Kakashi’s resolve. He’d made up his mind on the matter weeks ago when he first started planning this mission. “You have too much of a personal stake. You’ll just end up getting yourself killed trying to save her.”
“What about Sasuke? How come he gets to go?”
Naruto looked close to stomping his foot, and the whine in his voice did nothing to convince Kakashi that he was ready for this kind of mission.
“Because Sasuke doesn’t let his emotions determine his actions.”
Naruto was practically hanging off of Kakashi now. Kakashi understood his student’s desperation—he’d felt it far too many times when missions became too personal. The difference now was that Naruto didn’t know when to sit back and let someone else take care of a rescue. It was just another lesson that Kakashi needed to teach his student. The reality of the situation wasn't ideal, but Naruto would have to come to terms with if he ever expected to go on missions alone.
“You will be here when Sakura comes back. The most important part of this mission is her recovery, and that will likely take a very long time. You’ll be here waiting for her when she’s ready to begin that process.”
Naruto still looked unhappy with the arrangement, but he let go of Kakashi and gave a half-hearted wave as he boarded the jet behind Sasuke.
“We’ll bring her back, Naruto. I promise.”
Sakura’s resistance to her rescue was more aggravating than anything else. Sasuke had his arms hooked under her shoulders and was attempting to drag her towards the jet, but she was thrashing and throwing herself against him to try and knock him off balance. He grunted as he struggled to keep a firm hold on her, but she managed to free one arm and swing her elbow back into his jaw. She spared a second to look concerned as he fell back before she was sprinting towards the door of the HYDRA outpost that they’d found her in.
Kakashi was getting too old for this.
Once, Sasuke had shown the same resistance to Kakashi’s help. The only difference was that the boy had seemed furious at the time, wholly unwilling to accept any form of kindness. Sakura, on the other hand, was more than willing to escape her prison—until suddenly, she wasn’t.
She had almost reached the door that they’d dragged her out of when Kakashi caught up to her, but his presence did nothing to halt her course. With surprising and unexpected strength, she shoved him against a wall and kicked him to the side. His momentary distraction gave her an opening to knock him to the ground with embarrassing ease. She took little care to make sure he was alright before she was throwing the door open.
Sakura’s sharp cry when she saw what was on the other side nearly made Kakashi’s heart stop. He prayed that he hadn’t just allowed her to die—not when he had just gotten her back. When he turned around, Sakura was wrapped in another woman’s arms, shoulders shaking with sobs.
“I thought you were dead!” Sakura was crying, face buried in the woman’s shoulder, “I-I thought you died because of me–”
“Sakura, look at me,” the woman said, voice hoarse and strained, “I’m alright. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Kakashi got to his feet, but he immediately knew he’d made a mistake in revealing his presence. Within seconds of catching sight of him, the woman had switched positions with Sakura, and a gun was pointed at Kakashi’s forehead. Involuntarily, he glanced at the scar that started at her upper lip and disappeared under the collar of her shirt. It was wide, like it had been reopened multiple times before it healed.
Does Sakura have any scars like that?
The thought had him glancing back at his student, but her attention was consumed by the woman threatening him. He was only slightly offended by her priorities.
“Wait, Y/N, he’s here to rescue us! He won’t hurt you!”
“It’s not me I’m worried about,” she said, voice dangerously low. Kakashi looked between the two for an opening to get to Sakura without getting her or himself killed, but there was nothing he could do without risking getting shot before he could reach her, “this is a trap, Sakura. Get out of here, I’ll be right behind you.”
“It’s not a trap!” Sakura was practically sobbing, tugging on the woman’s arm, “Please. We have go! We’ll be safe with him, I promise!”
Kakashi hadn’t anticipated this. He hadn’t anticipated someone trying to protect Sakura. Sure, he knew that HYDRA would try to take her back and keep her from escaping, but not at the cost of their own life. This woman was shielding Sakura completely, desperate to keep her covered against Kakashi with no knowledge of his skillset. He glanced over her shoulder at Sakura, who looked incredibly nervous, though there was no hint of fear directed at the stranger.
“Sakura–”
“Don’t talk,” the woman snapped, voice sharp. The warning in her tone was clear. Kakashi’s jaw snapped shut, “I know a trap when I see one. Sakura, remember what I told you? This is a trick. They’re trying to test our loyalty by showing you someone you trust. They’ve used it on me countless times. You may think you know this man, but you don’t. He’s just a HYDRA agent in disguise–”
Sakura struck the back of the woman’s head with a stone. Kakashi was getting whiplash from the sudden changes in loyalty, but Sakura looked horrified at her action as she dropped the rock and fell to her knees next to the woman.
“Help me!” Sakura begged, looking up at Kakashi with wide, desperate eyes, “Come on! We have to get her into the jet before someone comes for us!”
“No,” Kakashi grabbed Sakura’s arm, pulling her away from the unconscious woman, “she’s a risk that I’m not willing to take. If I bring her back to the compound, she’ll end up hurting Sasuke or Naruto–”
“I’m not leaving without her. She won’t hurt anybody as long as she knows that we’re both safe. She’s just scared!”
“Sakura, I will not let HYDRA hurt you again.”
Sakura stilled for a moment. He thought that he’d gotten through to her and let his grip on her arm loosen.
With a growl, she twisted to switch positions with him. She kept hold of his hand and pulled it up to his opposite shoulder blade, and he couldn’t help but wince when she pushed upward in silent warning. He knew this move. He’d taught her this move. One thrust upward, and his arm was broken.
When had he become her enemy?
“Not without Y/N,” she snarled, voice unrecognizable—hardened from the years that she’d spent in this hellhole. Kakashi glanced between the stranger and Sakura, weighing his options. The woman was motionless on the ground—not a threat right now, but she would be unpredictable once she woke up.
This could be a trap, he told himself, she could be a HYDRA agent trying to infiltrate us.
He supposed that was the same line of thinking that led to this woman's suspicion of him. The thought crumbled his already weak resolve.
“Fine,” he met Sakura’s eyes, “but until she can show me that she won’t hurt you or the others, you won’t be alone with her. She’ll stay locked up, got it?”
“But–”
“No. I shouldn’t be bringing her at all. If she comes with us, you’ll both have to follow my rules.”
There. There. Finally, Kakashi saw a glimpse of the Sakura he knew. The Sakura who was taken from them so long ago. Her lip jutted out in a pout, her eyebrows scrunched together, and her hands clenched at her sides. That was enough to get him moving towards the woman’s limp body.
If it was both of them or neither of them, then Kakashi supposed he would have to compromise. At least he’d have all of his students back with him, safe under his care.