All The Little Reasons

by Justwannasleepbutitsimpossible

Summary:

Keep it in control, with an iron grip. Endure and move on.

“She’s a civilian born. What can she possibly do?”

Breathe. In and out. In and out. In-

“That little girl looks like she should be in the daimyo’s court, not the the battlefield.”

Their wrong. She’s not weak. She’ll show them all. and out.

“Haruno? Nah, she’s weak.”

In-, They will mourn the days she stayed silent. And they will grovel at her feet. Like dogs. And out.

 

“Pinkie? Are ya’ ok? Ya’ look a bit sick.”
_____________

 

Sakura Haruno walked a fine line between chaos and control. And one day, she snapped.

Notes:

WARNINGS
Mild gore. Lots and lots of psychological aspect and components that get hella dark. Lots of self hatred. People die. Shit goes down. Swearing, as you can see. Sever physical abuse and assault. You’ve been warned, read with caution. Or don’t. I don’t really care.

NOTES
Sakura sees ghosts. She’s a strong sensor and knows some of Konoha’s biggest secrets and she’s seriously done with being underestimated and useless.

This fic was inspired by Masks, a Sakura Haruno/Kakashi Hatake fic. If you haven’t read it I highly recommend it, very good. I’m trying to tie in psychology points like that author did so we’ll see how it goes. I suspect it’ll be a hell of a lot lighter than that one but I’ll try my best to include darker scenes.

This fic starts off at the academy where Sakura is getting bullied by Ami.

Chapter 1: How to: get past graduation

“Ow!” Sob. “Let go!” Please! 

Soft pink hair was being pulled harshly, tugged as the little frail girl was dragged after them. Tears streaking down her cheeks and snot running from her nose. Another harsh tug before she was being forced to the floor, to her knees.

A innocent enough looking girl sat on a chair before her. Legs crossed all lady-like and a sadistic smirk on her face. Long locks of purple tussles being tied up in two braids. “I’m sorry! Please Ami! I don’t even know what I’ve done!” The little pink haired girl pleaded, her big spring green eyes watering. Ami lifted her foot and pressed it in to the pinkette’s forehead the sadistic smirk growing as a whimper escaped and the smaller girl took a forced face plant onto the wooden floor.

”Sakura Haruno, you are nothing but civilian scrap. The dirt beneath a great konoichi like me’s feet. But I’m kind, and so I’ll let you play ninja with us. But you’ll be my dog from now on.” Ami told Sakura as she grinds her foot into soft pink waves. Her black eyes were cold and cruel, asking for Sakura to fight back so she could be beaten some more.

”Ok, Ami.” Sakura voice was nothing more then a terrified whisper and Ami grinned. “Dogs don’t talk forehead. And you will address me respectfully. I own you Haruno.” The purple haired girl said in faux sweetness and Sakura bit her tongue holding back her tears as she nodded. “Yes Shishou.” Ami’s smile grew and she removed her foot beckoning Sakura forward. All dignity lost Sakura crawled forward and put her chin on Ami’s knees. “Good girl.” Ami purred and pet Sakura’s hair.

A year passed and no one noticed how Sakura was being treated, or if they did they didn’t seem to care enough to intervene. It was like Sakura was nothing more like than a feral animal. She clenched her fists at the thought. Ami had blinded Sakura by forcing her to stare straight into a light, not that anyone noticed that either. Sakura learned to see through hearing and sensory. Chakra was easily identifiable, she was more partial to certain chakra signatures because of her heightened senses however. Sasuke-kun became Sasuke as soon as Sakura felt the darkness surrounding him. Her sensory abilities were able to encompass the entirety of Konoha, much like but still weaker than the Nidaime’s.

It was when Sakura turned six that she started sensing new chakra’s that seemingly followed her. They didn’t often make noise and felt not entirely there, like spiritual chakra without any physical chakra. A state of being on an entirely different plane of existence. But on the off chance they did speak no one else heard them, at first she thought she was going crazy. But now… now they were a normality in her life. One she intended to keep for as long as possible. They brought her great joy, although she doubted they knew she could hear and sense them. And she was completely content to keep it that way.

sometimes they spoke about Jutsu’s and their processes and how they worked, questioning each other inquisitively. Sakura would repeat their words over and over again in her head until she got home and was able to write them down in the solemn safety of her darkened closet. One of the perks of being blind was that she could sit in pitch black and do almost anything. All she had to do was imbue the tiniest trickle of chakra into the ink and then she could see what she was writing without light.

she hadn’t dared to practice the jutsu’s in fear the voices would find out she could hear them and be angry at her and leave. She really did like them. One was warm and strong like a campfire. Another was cool and ever moving like a river. One was like a candle in winter, flickering and emitting little warmth against the dry cold. Another was sharp and quick buzzing like electricity. Mr. Campfire was always happy and optimistic, but sometimes when he silently watched Sakura interact with Ami his flames grew dim and sad. Sakura made it a point to stand back up after every beating and move on as if it hadn’t happened, Mr. Campfire was still sad but he was less sad then when she would curl up and cry. Resigned was the word she’d use.

Mr. River was cold and cruel but he would sometimes glow with warmth and affection when she accomplished something she’d been struggling really hard at. Mr. Candle was angry most of the time, angry or calm. But still warm even as his flames flickered in the cold threatening to be devoured by it. Then there was Mr. Lightning, he was emotional like Mr. Campfire and loud. But he also felt a bit more thoughtful, she wasn’t sure if his golden retriever personality was real or if he’d just been a intricately woven mask to cover his scary truth. But she liked all of them the same.

She liked it when Mr. Campfire would whisper his dream and hopes for the future to her late at night when she was restless and couldn’t sleep. She liked when Mr. Candle would absently comment on her training saying to himself how she could improve and had great potential. She liked when Mr. Candle would sit with her, just her and him after a particularly bad beating and softly murmur about his older brother and his clan. She enjoyed when Mr. Lightning would make random jokes that would make all the others groan and her secretly smirk inside giggling.

Not that they knew she liked these things. It seemed to bring solace to them, a sense of contentment to be doing something other than silently watch. Like Mr. Rain, he didn’t speak. Just silently watched, she couldn’t even understand his chakra or his feelings. He was just a never ending rain, constant and loud in her ears if she tried to listen into his chakra’s humming buzz. The most she was able to pick up on was indifference and killer intent from him. But he always stood silent and stoic, like a statue or an extension of herself right beside her. Their chakra’s brushing occasionally. Sakura was pretty sure he knew she knew about them, he didn’t indicate it with his chakra or say anything. Just brushed his chakra with hers seemingly relishing in the feel of a spring evening.

She had been able to sense her own chakra since before she could remember. It was chaotic but in a controlled way, and felt distantly like a spring evening when the perception made the trees and grass smell strong and when a soft wind blew. Right when the sun was low, touching the earth with warm light and setting the sky aflame in what looked like melted fire. It sounded akin to the wind rustling leaves and the low babbling of a brook in the distance, with the low singing of birds. She liked her chakra lots, it was comforting. And she suspected Mr. Rain shared the sentiment.

She glanced to the side where Kiba Inazuka had taken a seat next to her like he did every year. Hinata Hyuuga sat behind her and next to Shino Aubrame. They were sensors as well, not as good as Sakura but still pretty good. Kiba was instinctively a sensor meaning he didn’t try to actively manipulate his chakra to sense others, it just did. Sakura had taken a long time to condition her body to do that and to not alert her of every chakra. If they weren’t big enough to be a shinobi she ignored them.

Kiba was just always unconsciously sensing people and filing them away. Hinate was a bit different. She had to activate her Byakugon to sense but when she did it was highly refined, she didn’t have a radius of sensing like Kiba or Sakura, what ever was in her line of sight she was able to sense, down to every last detail. Like using a microscope. Shino sensed through his bugs, expanding his radius by his bugs instead of having to grow and control his chakra. But his sensing only came in dots, his bugs each had a small radius and so while he could sense through them it wasn’t as efficient as the others.

The three instinctively sat near Sakura, because of her chakra. It tended to draw people in. While Kiba’s raging storm of chakra pushed people away. Or Hinata’s soft prickly of chakra reminiscent to getting pins and needles that made you stop and question whether you liked the feeling of it or not. Or even Shino’s which was a silent autumn breeze that unnerved you. Sakura enjoyed their chakra’s enough to tolerate being near them, they didn’t speak to her. Just absently sat near her and then left later. Mr. Candle had commented on how annoying and oblivious they were. But he didn’t tend to like anyone.

Sakura tapped her pen against her notebook as she thought about what her sensei would be like. They had suffered eight long years of the academy to become genin. Eight long years of Ami’s torture. And the clan kids whispers about her being the only civilian kid left in the program at this point with disdain. Eight long years of pain and endurance and refined control. She was ready to leave to start anew. With a sensei and two teammates who she hoped would leave her be and ignore her rather than ridicule. There were a few like that but not enough.

she instinctively reached out the tiniest bit with her chakra to brush against Mr. Rain. To convey her happiness and excitement of being set free. His chakra hummed in response brushing back emotionlessly but it was still supportive in Sakura’s mind. Umino Iruka waltzed into the class dragging the raging chaos of chakra that was knitted into a tight ball that was Naruto. She tended to avoid him, his chakra off putting. “Alright class. Thanks to Naruto you can all redo the genjutsu test.” Iruka-sensei declared and the entire class groaned in annoyance, except for the select few who either didn’t care or liked Naruto enough to not care. They were even fewer.

Sakura stood with Kiba, filing after the boy and his ninken down to the front of the class. Her ghosts following at a drawling pace behind her, other than Mr. Rain who moved with her as always. If she leaned back just a bit she could brush chakra with Mr. Candle accidentally it always seemed to calm him and he was unnaturally tense today along with Mr. Lighting. But Mr. Lightning tended to get tense at anything the involved Naruto.

Sakura closed her eyes briefly and chanced it, leaning back on her heels and in the process brushing her chakra with his. Almost immediately his chakra jumps in surprise but then softened mellowing down to a lazy calm. Sakura was always grateful to Mr. River who didn’t mention the small fluctuations in her chakra, she heard him mumbling about it once. Wondering if she could unconsciously feel their chakra and reach out for it. She’d repeated the process a few times with civilians letting her chakra reach out and brush them when the passed to solidify his thoughts.

“Kiba Inuzuka.” Iruka-sensei said as Kiba took the front and performed the jutsu. Sakura hummed mumbling a congratulations under her breath when he got full marks. The ghosts chakra flickered in warmth from some and amusement from others, both from two. Sakura stepped forward it now being her turn. “Sakura Haruno.” Iruka-sensei said his voice soft and calm. She liked Iruka, he cared a lot for a lot of people. He was warm and calm like the hot springs. “Ready?” He asked and Sakura nodded shifting away from Mr. Rain, else their chakra’s accidentally mix and make the jutsu explode. She’d learned that the hard way.

”Yes sensei.” Sakura said and brought her hands up forming the hand sign for the basic genjutsu they taught in the academy. Easy. She knew how to do harder genjutsu and was quite adept in it, specially with her stellar chakra control. “Well done Sakura-chan.” Iruka complimented as he wrote down her results. Sakura bubbled with happiness and shifted back towards Mr. Rain sharing those feelings through her chakra. He brushed back almost as if patting her head in congratulations. She preened straightening slightly as she walked back to her desk.

Mizuki-sensei joined them shortly after, and genin tests begun. Sakura had prepared she knew what to do by heart. But her nerves still itched at her while she stood in the test room under the gaze of Mizuki. His chakra was dark, it gave her the creeps. Mr. River was stiff at her right shifting and unconsciously brushing his chakra with hers as if to consol himself. He really didn’t like Mizuki-sensei, specially when he pinned an intent look on Sakura like he was now. And despite not being able to see it she could feel his stare and shifted to look towards Iruka. Savouring in the cool gratifying brush of Mr. Rivers chakra. The others were tense as well, they always noticed things quickly sometimes faster then her. But that made sense, she couldn’t see after all.

Time seemed to blur, and before she knew it she was walking out of the room a forehead protector in her hands and shivers travelling up her spine at the look still pinned on her as she left. She could hear murmuring and the word civilian-born tossed around as the door shut behind her and she grit her teeth before taking a deep breath and shaking her head. Just one more day until she gets out of here, she’s endured for eight years. What’s one more day?

Chapter 2: Hospitals aren’t always fun.

Summary:

Sakura gets hurt. And Ami will pay.

Notes:

WARNINGS
Mild gore. Lots and lots of psychological aspect and components that get hella dark. Lots of self hatred. People die. Shit goes down. Swearing, as you can see. Sever physical abuse and assault. You’ve been warned, read with caution. Or don’t. I don’t really care.

NOTES
Sakura sees ghosts. She’s a strong sensor and knows some of Konoha’s biggest secrets and she’s seriously done with being underestimated and useless.

This fic was inspired by Masks, a Sakura Haruno/Kakashi Hatake fic. If you haven’t read it I highly recommend it, it’s very good. I’m trying to tie in psychology points like that author did so we’ll see how it goes. I suspect it’ll be a hell of a lot lighter than that one but I’ll try my best to include darker scenes.

This chapter starts off with Sakura confronting Ami.

“Puppy! Come here.” Ami’s voice rings out over the school yard. Sakura’s sitting on a bench and her head snaps up embarrassment at being called for so openly colouring her cheeks as her chest twists in fear. Kiba and Akamaru also look up expecting to be the ones called for. One glance between the girls has the Inuzuka’s eyes narrowing as he pretends to go back to playing tag with some other kids.

Sakura stands and feels Mr. Rains chakra brush with hers. She smiles sadly as if to console him before starting over. Mr, Candle is seething with rage his flames growing. Mr. Campfire feels sad and frustrated, probably at not being able to do anything. Mr. River is cold and calm, the type of calm that comes before a storm. Mr. Lightning is worriedly flickering his chakra as he flitters around behind her. Sakura says nothing, she doesn’t reach out.

Doesn’t tend to when she’s around Ami. It scares her that they might leave and so she completely ignores them like normal. Except Mr. Rain, she lets him brush his chakra with hers soothingly. Not leaning into the contact like she normally would but also not shifting away. Sakura stops before Ami.

“Come on. Follow your Shishou inside. You need to be disciplined and trained today. You ignored me all morning.” Ami says pouting while her tone his sweet and fake hurt. But Sakura can feel the fury and edge of violence and sadism twisting around her chakra. “Hurry up.” Ami says as she turns around to walk inside Sakura follows her into the building before Ami stops. “No. Dogs don’t walk on legs like us humans.”

She chides and Sakura is suddenly being shoved forward onto her knees. She looks up at Ami who looks down at her cruel and utterly pleased. “Good girl. Follow.” She commands and Sakura crawls after her, Sakura’s knees bruised and now scratched up. They get into a empty classroom before Ami turns to her sitting down. “Come.” She beckons and Sakura crawls forward laying her head in Ami’s lap. Ami plays with her hair for a bit, gently braiding the locks like she cares before pulling at it harshly Sakura whimpers at the sting her scalp gives. Ami grins wider.

“I’m going to kill that little bitch.”

It’s Mr. Candles voice Sakura notes as she’s shoved to the floor again. Sakura braces her muscles as the beating ensues, kick after kick. Bruise after bruise. She endured. She had to tune out Mr. Candles violent angry threats as she whimpered. Somethings wrong. Terribly wrong. Sakura can just tell, by the way her chakra fluctuates and then stutters, shivering every other moment. Mr. River takes in a sharp breath now, he knows somethings wrong as well. But what?

Ami leaves twenty minutes later, bored with Sakura. Sakura lays still on the wooden floor, before wrenching and turning to cough up blood. Everyone’s chakra stills. Sakura reaches out shakily, not only with her chakra but this time with her hand for Mr. Rain who’s at her side. Practically melding their chakra’s together. Sakura whimpers as she clutches her abdomen. “Somethings wrong.” She whisperes in horror and the frozen chakra moves. Panic. Everybody is panicking and bloodthirsty. Frantic words are being yelled before the overwhelming feelings of the five consume her. Then everything goes black.

 

———

 

Sakura registers the slow sound of a heart monitor. Her eyes opening even as she can’t use them, she extends her chakra when she doesn’t hear the natural sounds of her ghosts chakra. Almost immediately she senses them, surrounding her bed. Mr. Rain who usually stands by her side though is pressed into the corner. Her brows furrowed. She opens her mouth to call out to him but she doesn’t know his name and so she snaps it shut again her lips forming a thin line. This time she reaches out with her chakra, there can be no mistake that she was consciously seeking him out now. And she feels Mr. Rivers chakra tighten, she can imagine that his jaw is tightening in a frown. He’s figured her out.

But Mr. Rain shifts away for some reason. Sakura feels herself still, back straightening face utterly blank. Did he hate her? Why? Is it because she cried? He did tend to feel uncomfortable about that. But still… she-… she’d thought he at least would stay with her. Sakura let’s out one shaky breath, then another, and another before she realizes she’s hyperventilating. “Breath Sakura. Calm down and breath slowly.” Sakura startles at her own name, they had never said it. None of them. Probably because they’d never addressed her. They must have figured out that she knows their there though.

Sakura follows the advice feeling chakra beside her brushing against her. It’s Mr. Lightning, he’s the one who broke the every and odd silence. “Thank you.” Sakura mumbled softly looking down to observe her injuries. She sends a jolt of chakra to scan through her body, bruising and bleeding mostly. She had been patched up though, hence the hospital. Although she had no idea how she got there. “So you can hear us.” Sakura flinched at Mr. Campfires statement. His voice is a soft whisper of awe. “Yes.” Sakura replies in a whisper as well. “How long?” Its Mr. Candle this time his voice a void of emotion and his chakra tightly bunched together that it’s hard to read, but Sakura can feel the anger and betrayal. She expects it, from him especially. Mr. Candle is fragile like that, not that she’d tell him she thought he was fragile.

”A long time.” She answers wistfully her blank gaze turning up to the ceiling. She could hear him grit his teeth. “At first I was content just listening.” She explained slowly, her voice soft and sounded almost like she wasn’t fully there. “But then I got attached, you were all so kind. In your own ways. And I got scared you’d leave if I said anything.” She said and looked back at them feeling their chakra still. “I’m sorry.” She said sincerely, voice louder. Clearer. Serious to a point. “I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way. But I don’t regret it.” Sakura said firmly and felt Mr. Rains chakra shift in displeasure at her words.

“I valued every moment I spent with you all. Thank you so very much for that. I don’t know if I would have survived the academy, survived Ami without you. Although, If you’d like to leave now I would completely understand.” Sakura finished and waited. For reaction, for someone to leave, for anything. But everything was very still for an entire minute before they all exploded again. Mr. Lightning pressed his chakra into hers like giving a hug almost and Sakura shivered before her heart melted and she let out a shaky breath pressing back.

Mr. Campfire had moved to the other side of her bed and was gently brushing his chakra against hers. It made her think he was trying to put a hand on her shoulder. Which made her smile lightly. Next was an exasperated sigh from Mr. River before he reached out and briefly brushed his chakra with hers, he wasn’t to touchy but she felt supremely happy at his reaction. She’d thought he’d leave for sure. Mr. Candle seemed hesitant, his chakra flittered, unsure of whether to be mad or not. Finely he grunted and copied Mr. River. “It’s not okay. I’m not over it and I won’t be for a while. But I’m not leaving.” Mr. Candle said and Sakura smiled softly nodding in understanding before she turned hopefully towards Mr. Rain.

Mr. Rain watched everything silently like always. She reached out for him and this time he didn’t shift away briefly letting the chakras brush before he was backing away again. Sakura smile turned slightly pained but she brushed it off. Sakura and Mr. River stilled as another chakra slightly malicious in intent entered the room. A small grey haired boy with glasses and a thin lipped smile greeted her. “Morning, Haruno-san. How do you feel?” He asked as he pulled over a chair to sit by her bedside. Right where Mr. Campfire stood looking down at the boy and blinking.

Sakura’s eyes trailed over him, taking into note of how he smelled like bleach, like the hospital. “Please, call me Sakura. And I’m… tired, mostly. My heads a bit fuzzy and-… and my stomach hurts.” The boys lips pulled together in a soft pitying frown. Sakura decided she didn’t much like that look. “Ah, well that’s not good. But then again neither is your, ehm, injury.” He hesitated when saying the word as if he wanted to be one of the last people in the world to be talking to her about this right now. “What’s my status, medic-san?” Sakura asked tilting her head as she pressed herself slightly back into her pillow. It didn’t sound very good.

”I- I really shouldn’t be the one telling you this.” He murmured solemnly as he chewed on his lower lip. Then he glanced back up through long feminine lashes and the rim of his glasses. ”Sakura-san.” He said slowly and the pinkeye tilted her head like a curious puppy. Which was a very ironic action in the scenario. “You were found by Kiba Inazuka. He said he’d found you curled up on the floor in an empty classroom coughing up blood and internally bleeding. Him and Umino Iruka-san brought you here where we fixed you up best we could, but…”

“But…?” Sakura echoed her voice still with an unnatural calm. “But you were beaten very severely. And we couldn’t salvage some of the damage.” He muttered looking anywhere but at her. His chakra felt supremely uncomfortable and Sakura felt her breath hitch as she started to draw an conclusion. Her reaction was followed to a point by Mr. River and Mr. Lightning. “Spit it out!” She demanded her breath becoming slightly irregular. The boy looked up and his face was a devoid of emotion other than pity as he looked at her and said his next words very clearly.

”And you shattered your uterus. And tore open your pelvic floor. It was severe and while we were able to heal it…” He looks away and murmurs lowly. “I’m so sorry for your loss Sakura-san.” Sakura stopped breathing altogether. Everything was silent and she wasn’t sure if that was real or if she simply couldn’t hear anymore. The pounding of blood in her ears had seemingly intensified at the revelation. Sakura choked on a sob heaving as she leaned forward and cradled her abdomen. “No. No your lying.” She whispered in pure terror. She looked up ready for him to proclaims this was all a really bad joke thought up by Ami to antagonize her further but the medic boys chakra remained still and solemn. “I’m afraid not.” He said and then set the clipboard down on her bedside table as he stood. “For now I recommend you take a good rest for a few days. While we may have healed you the muscles regrown haven’t been used yet so I’ll write in your file that your in need of some physical therapy. Also…” He glanced back up at Sakura as he removed surgical gloves from his pocket and started putting them on.

”I would suggest you schedule in some therapy with Inoichi-sama. Or really anyone. While I won’t press for it, I highly recommend you listen to my advise. If this becomes trauma for you… it will deter you on the field. And will eventually be discovered anyways.” he said and Sakura frantically looked up heaving in breaths as she managed to get in some words. “Please keep this off my medical record medic-san! I don’t want anyone knowing.” She murmured looking down at her hands and then looking back up at him. He raised a brow before signing, he knew she was blind. His chakra had picked up on it but she did a very good job of making others think she could see. “Alright. But please do consider my advice Sakura-san.” He said nodding and Sakura let out the most relived sigh she had ever made. “Thank you. And I’ll… consider it.” She managed and he nodded before leaving the room was dead silent. Before

”I will kill that little sadist.” Mr. Candle growled lowly. “I will savour her screams and pleads for mercy while I return all that is owed.” He hissed and Sakura stared blankly ahead when hand on her stomach and the other on her thigh. “No. You won’t.” She wouldn’t let him or anyone else for that matter. She said it as a statement. A fact. Mr. Candle flinched violently away from her. “You mean you’ll let this slide?! She took-“ He stopped himself taking in a sharp breath as his snarls grew more violent and feral. “After she took something so precious!?” He asked and the room was silent other than the sounds of his fuming. Sakura’s head lazily bobbed up and down.

”No. You will not do any of that. In fact you will do nothing.” She said her voice soft and light, as if it could so easily shatter. A roar of outrage peirced her ears but Sakura didn’t even flinch. “You will watch in silence.” She stated in a dangerously serene whisper, and it was more of a command or a fact with the way she said it. “You may watch.” She murmured calmly, almost serene if not for her slightly but ever growing colder demeanour.

“Because I will be the one to make her burn.” Sakura’s voice turned steely cold and cruel. Silence hovered in the air while Mr. Campfire seemed to be sad and the others were resigned or akin to him. Mr. Candle laughed, a dark twisted sound. “Yes! We will watch her world burn to the ground as we hold the match!” He said in psychotic glee. Bloodthirsty fervour rippling through his chakra like an all consuming monster.

”Exactly.” Sakura said softly and then turned to look back out the window. Though she could not see she imagined that the view was quite beautiful. And one thing was for sure. She would become a genin tomorrow. With a team and a sensei. And no amount of medics or shinobi would stop her.

Notes:

Alright so, when our little medic-nin (Kabuto) apologizes for her loss he means she was beaten bad enough that it’s no longer possible for to have any children in the future.

What are our thoughts on how we should… off, Ami? I’ve got a few interesting ideas that I’ve just been pulling from all sorts of different fics. Jashinism? Anybody? But at the same time I don’t know if our ghosty friends would be morally alright with it. Arson? Like Mr. Candle suggested? Perhaps something… more graphic? Tell me your opinions.

Also! Does anyone have a guess to who our ghoulish friends are? I think the hardest one to guess will be Mr. Rain. But he’ll also be the most obvious once people figure it out.

Chapter 3: Quick Recovery and Escape

Summary:

Sakura talks with Kiba.

With some help from Mr. River who was apparently highly adept in medical jutsu as well as sensory made for a nice medical jutsu lesson and a quick recovery.

Sakura quickly left, she was partial to hospitals in the first place. Mr. Campfire seemed to really really appreciate them just like he did the academy and everything else in Konoha, the weirdo.

Sakura now sat in class again. It was early and only a few of the children littered in class most out on the park or talking with friends for the last time in a while. Sakura hummed as she flipped through her notebook silently showing her ghosts the jutsu theory she’d been working on based on their talking.

She’d only gotten to show them what she had on Mr. Lightnings fuinjutsu when Kiba burst in looking around frantically. His finger jutted put to point at Sakura incredulously when he spotted her. “Your supposed to be in the hospital!” He yelled and Sakura cringed folding in on herself. She hadn’t expected anyone to come get her, and she had planned to go officially sign herself out later that day.

But she certainly hadn’t expected anyone to care enough to go get her. Her parents hadn’t even showed, her grandfather most likely footed the bill. She knew Kiba found her but she didn’t… didn’t expect him to check on her status. Which he would’ve had too otherwise he wouldn’t know that she needed to be there.

“K-k-k-Kiba-san? What d-do you mean?” Hinata’s voice was a soft whisper, unfitting for a clan heiress. “Yes. Please tell us. Why? Because were curious and worried about our peer, Haruno-san.” Shino added in his worries as Kiba ran over eyes raking over the pinkette for injuries.

Kiba leaned forwards and sniffed deeply, Sakura stilled feeling slightly uncomfortable with the strange behaviour but held her tongue. Letting Mr. River explain why the Inuzuka was doing it. Kiba leaned away with a huff of… relief? That was strange. Sakura shifted away, she wasn’t comfortable with feelings especially feelings projected towards her from others.

When she was little it was something she craved, with her parents distant and stoic nature she had wanted it so badly. And had got it, but when Ino left with the strange idea that Sakura liked Sasuke Sakura had fully become uncomfortable with them.

Shinobi had the right idea. Feelings were a distraction and something that slowed down everything. Sakura was all about productivity in everything. Emotions helped nothing.

“K-K-Kiba-san?” Hinata’s voice snapped Sakura out of her thoughts and she looked up towards the storm, questioning jade eyes meeting serious hazelnut. Sakura looked away quickly after her uncomfortable skyrocketing. “I got hurt and Inuzuka-san helped me out.” Sakura said offhandedly as she continued flipping through her notes. This time however Mr. Lighting didn’t seem so interested in them as he gave her a faint sad look.

”You should make some friends Sakura.” He advised her and Sakura shrugged writing down her reply outside of the margins so as not to disturb the writing. I have you guys as friends.

”We don’t count.” Mr. River said smoothly back and Sakura huffed turning back to the Inuzuka. “Thank you by the way. Without Inuzuka-san’s help I would’ve been in bigger trouble.” Sakura said softly nodding her head in thanks. Kiba still stood there watching her, she didn’t know what he looked like, but she remembered what he had looked like when they were younger. Before she lost her sight.

she imagined he’d have a worried look on his face right about now. He was a kind boy, if not a bit mischievous. She gathered that he was concerned, she could tell where he looked at her by how his gaze burned into her skin like everyone else’s did.

Sakura really hated when people looked solely at her. But that was before, when they had looked at her and whispered civilian-born, or Ami’s dog, or even when they whispered about her forehead and her apparent crush on Sasuke. She’d yet to even speak to the boy, the most she’d done had been sparring and had sat with him for a few months after the massacre.

It was her way of consoling him. She was sorry he lost his family. She knew what absence of a family feels like and so she sat with him for a week. Never said anything, never even acknowledged him.

But that had been enough to start rumours. Enough to make Ino leave her. So yes, she didn’t like being stared at like an oddity in a museum. But Kiba didn’t look at her like that, and for what it was worth she valued him for it.

”Yeah well, some help I was. I shoulda’ followed ya’ from the beginnin’ when somethin’ smelt off.” Kiba muttered as he sat down beside her. Akamaru yipped in agreement with his partners statement and wiggled free from Kiba’s jacket jumping up and trotting over on top of the desk to run his nose into her cheek affectionately.

Sakura giggled at the wet press that buffeted hot air onto her making her hair flutter back slightly. “You couldn’t have known what would happen, Inuzuka-san.” Sakura said bringing her hand up to rest on Akamaru’s back. She stroked down the ninken’s spine making the canine huff in pleasure arching as the little puppy melted onto the desk in a heap.

Kiba growled at her words in anger. Making Sakura shift away slightly and Akamaru’s ears twitch. “Nah. I shoulda’ known, thinkin’ bout’ it now it makes a hell of a lot o’ sense why ya’ always had extra bruises that ya’ ain’t gettin’ at sparrin’ practice.” He says and Sakura pointedly stayed silent. No need to poke that bear.

It wasn’t as if Ami’s bullying was much of a secret. Just more of a thing the other kids unitedly decided not to notice. Sakura was sure there were times when Ami was saying things to her that Kiba had heard and ignored.

Not that she blamed him much for it. She didn’t want or need some hero. She was ok to stand up for herself verbally, but she had heard from many people and even the ghosts that Shinobi don’t attack people apart of their own village.

It was rule number one. And so while Sakura did spar and made a point to hit harder when sparring with Ami or any of the girls in Ami’s friend group she didn’t break village law. Not like Ami did. And that made her better than them, stronger, and more of an asset to the village. The Hokage could have a hundred decent shinobi, or he could have fifty loyal shinobi.

People can grow to become better. It’s easier to train an army than convince a hundred men of the kind loyalty that made them lay down lives for you. And that was the difference between her and them. Sakura would always be more valuable, even if she was the weakest pawn on the board.

”Well, it’s over now anyways and it’s not as if it was your fault to begin with so don’t concern yourself anymore over it.” She said and watched as his chakra bristled. He turned his head back to her from where it had turned to look down at Akamaru. His chakra cooled the crackling banging of thunder and lightning trapped in a glass bottle calmed just slightly growing cold and frigid as a sudden snow storm began in its place.

Sakura shifted back confused by the sudden change, Kiba’s chakra like hers was ever changing. Sometimes Mr. Rivers chakra would ripple in anger like a stone had been throne in its flow or it would splash in surprise as if a school of fish were swimming up stream in it.

Peoples chakra changed like the wind, never doing just one thing for long. But sometimes the sudden changes would give Sakura backlash. Her mind just couldn’t keep up and comprehend the quickly shifting chakra and emotions of people. Sakura’s hand stilled in Akamaru’s fur as she felt a slight fear at the raging cold yet calm feeling in Kiba’s chakra. It was unnerving.

”It ain’t your fault either.” He said his voice chilly and Sakura shivered in turn shifting away nervously. “No, …of course it isn’t.” She murmured back the lie easily slipping off her tongue. While she didn’t wholly believe it was her fault she could’ve stopped it, fought back and then maybe she wouldn’t have lost what she did.

She would still be able to see. Still be able to dream of a future family. But not anymore. And that was her fault. She could’ve fought back. Should’ve fought back! But she was scared to lose her only advantage. The only thing that made her more than them. She was scared to truly be less than them. She was terrified, of being useless.

Kiba’s chakra was quick to change at her words settling back to it’s natural state and she let out a breath releasing the tension from her shoulders as she let herself feel the reverberating of the wild and feral strikes and roars of the storm.

”Good. Cause it ain’t, and I would hate it if ya’ thought that.” He said reaching over to ruffle the fur on Akamaru’s head. “Ok.” Sakura said not knowing how else to respond.

Notes:

Kiba’s a sweetheart, he’s a bit childish but he’s sincere. I know I have the tag up there that say it’s supposed to be a Kiba/Sakura book and I have a really good idea of how I’m wanting their relationship to grow and fit into the story I’m not super dead set on them being together. I’m flexible. So if anyone else has more chemistry with her the story might just end up tipping that way. I might be typing it but the story practically writes itself.

Also! Some really good guesses so far! Only a few have been on point but just as I guessed nobody has been able to figure out Mr. Rains identity yet! Hehehe! Some really funny guesses about some of the other ghosts as well.

 

Anyways I hope you guys are having fun reading this! This was definitely a lighter chapter, I want the story to be balanced out. With lighter moments but an overall dark tone. Hopefully that’s what I’m crafting.

The ghost friends weren’t super present in this chapter, I’ve been making a real effort to include them even just as background presences so sorry about that.

I did drop a few hints to look out for, I’m really enjoying seeing your guys guesses so please feel free to continue putting them in the comments!

Chapter 4: Chakra’s important but so is Faith

Summary:

Sakura meets team seven. Cue the drama and angst.

Sakura decided that she didn’t like her team right after they were the last one waiting in the classroom.

Naruto was loud and his chakra physically hurt to be around for a sensor, both her and Mr. River had decided it best to buffer themselves by sitting near the Uchiha. Not that the other boy was much different with his chakra being an eerie silent woods resonating the smell of smoke as darkness enclosed in around it. So it was either painful or creepy, Sakura chose the latter for obvious reasons.

Sakura continued to mess around with her chakra as they waited. She completely ignored Naruto as he put an eraser in the door and Sasuke chastising him. With careful control Sakura extended the thinnest bit of chakra from her finger and let it grow to be a string connecting her finger tip to the eraser.

Just as the door was pulled open she tugged and the eraser went flying into her palm. Everyone stared at it and then at her, Sakura shrunk back.

‘Don’t let them notice you. You are nothing but a civilian born. Stay in the background and you’ll be safe. Useless cannon-fodder trash.’

Her mothers words resonated through her head and Sakura pulled her chakra away and back into her body. “Sorry.” She murmured and Naruto grinned. “That’s ok Sakura-chan! My prank probably wouldn’t have worked anyways!” The blond said making her cringe away from his sheer volume.

“Meet on the roof.” The silver haired Jonin said eyes scanning over the team slowly before he added, “and my first impression… I hate all of you.” Sakura wilted, her entire body shrinking and caving in on itself.

She reached out instinctively for Mr. Rain’s chakra for supports but instead got Mr. Candles who just so happened to be situated beside her. He grunted and pushed back in obvious awkward comfort.That didn’t make her appreciate it any less.

The two boys barreled out of the classroom but Sakura turned and walked delicately to the window she opened it and took note of the wind. A gentle breeze heading south, that boarded well for her.

“What are you doing?” Mr. Rivers cool voice carried and Sakura blinked looking over. She hefted herself onto the windowsill hands gripping the frame tight. “He said meet at the roof, I’m tree climbing.” She answered simply taking one quick glance down before gently guiding her chakra down to her feet.

“Just take the stairs kid. No need to show off.” Mr. Candle said cooly but his words stung with similarity, and Sakura felt her frustration grow. She could do it. “I’m inclined to agree with the others blossom, this is higher up than those trees. If you fall…” Sakura took a deep breath, Mr. Campfire was kind. And she knew he was just concerned. They all were. But she didn’t need concern, she needed their faith.

Mr. Lighting was in a daze, had been since Naruto was announced to be on her team. She was starting to think the man might know something about Naruto’s chakra problem. But that was entirely off topic.

”Shut up. All of you.” This was a new voice it was boyish but commanding and when Sakura turned she instinctively reached out her chakra for him and this time she found it. The heavy and lulling feel of rain. Everyone was silent and Sakura could feel their varying levels of surprise at the voice.

”Just… be quiet and let her try.” Sakura felt a warm burst of affection and she conveyed that to him as she pressed her chakra into his. He returned it slowly after a few stunned moments of silence with a soft warmth, not as strong and overwhelming as hers had been but just as meaningful.

”Thank you.” Sakura said and pushed herself to lean out the window as she slowly attached herself to the wall and the detached, leaving only her feet glued to the surface. She took one shaky breath, then two.

‘You must be seen not heard.’ ‘You only exist once your existence is needed.’ ‘Your no shinobi, your just a civilian girl.’ ‘Your weak and pathetic and will amount to nothing as a ninja. Why not be a tailor or florist instead?’

Sakura’s chakra burned with the memories. The words her family and everyone else had spoken. It burned with rage, desperation, and terror.

She refused to be a weak civilian girl. The kind of girl she had been once. That girl who let Ami beat her. That girl who was terrified yet desperate for and of her family. That girl who took everything quietly with her head down.

Enough being underestimated. Enough hurt. Enough pain. Enough! Sakura was sick of it to the point that the wind in her ears, grating on her eardrums as it whistles was pleasant instead of uncomfortable. Sick to her bones with the knowledge that she was ready to kill for the chance to show them all.

And then she suddenly very calm, no more the wrenching sick feeling. Just the slightly painful whistle of wind and thrum of chakra as she scaled the building.

Sakura had made up her mind. She would show them. All of them. Her classmates, her family, her ghosts. She would show them what a civilian girl could do.

What happens when you corner a wild animal? It lashes out.

What happens when you push a tame beasts buttons? It loses control.

but now Sakura wondered idly, with a certain type of morbid curiosity just as she stepped over the ledge and onto the academies roof.

What happens when you push a human far enough for their mind to snap?

A innocent enough giggle escapes her throat at the wide eyed look her teammates give her from their position wrestling in the stairwell doors. And the narrowing of her Sensei’s eyes.

She would soon find out.

Chapter 5: Surprise Surprise! Our Sensei’s got SECRETS!

Summary:

Fluffiness and badassery.

And why is this story getting lighter? I tried so hard to keep it dark in the last chapter! Come on! I’ve been reading to much fluff lately I need some dark angsty stuff to get the inspiration flowing!

“Sakura-chan!? How did you do that!?” Naruto exclaimed pushing past Sasuke to run over. Instinctively Sakura leaned away back off the edge again.

In a flash of chakra their sensei was beside her, grabbing the back of her collar with one hand and tugging her up. “Maa, Sakura-chan, let’s not go testing our chakra control limits on the side of buildings, ne?” He said in a obnoxious tone but Sakura somehow found it endearing.

”Gomen Sensei.” Sakura murmured ducking so her hair which hung like pink curtains from her head would cover the embarrassed oncoming blush. Their sensei who she couldn’t remember the name of set her down gently on the roof and away from the ledge conveniently.

The three genin all settled down beside one another and in front of the jonin as he explained everything. “Sensei why don’t you go first and show us?” Naruto had said when Sakura tuned back into the conversation.

She had been to immersed in deciphering the complicated emotions of Mr. Lightnings chakra at being there. She reached out brushing her chakra with his and he gave a shaky breath but pressed back, she wished she could take away his pain but currently she couldn’t. She would learn though.

“Maa? Well, my name’s Kakashi Hatake. I like… some things. I don’t like other things. Hmm… my hobbies? …I have a few. My dreams… I don’t really have any. And as for goals… I suppose it be nice to die comfortably.” Sakura blanked, that was- that was horrible! He didn’t tell them anything!

”You didn’t tell us anything, dattebayo!” Naruto raged and Sasuke brooded harder which Sakura found ridiculous as his chakra just seem to wilt further. What a strange boy. Who would ever like him? Did he look good or something? She couldn’t even remember.

”Well, why don’t you go then dobe?” Sasuke said and Naruto made a noise of offence but ultimately decided to go. “My names Naruto Uzumaki, dattebayo! I like ramen, Sakura-chan, and Ichiraku’s ramen especially. I dislike the five minutes it takes to make ramen and Teme. My hobbies include trying all the different kinds of ramen and grading them! My dream is to eat all the ramen in the world! And my goal is to become Hokage, believe it!”

Well… that was… something. Sakura inched further away from the blond and his explosive… chakra? Personality? No, everything. “Hm, good job Naruto. Sakura-chan?” Kakashi-Sensei, because apparently she did learn something from his introduction, said and Sakura nodded.

”My name is Sakura Haruno. I like reading, animals, training, and my friends. I dislike people who break the law, fire, and dishonesty. My hobbies include gardening, training, practicing my chakra control, playing card games, and talking about ninjutsu theory with my friends. My dream… is too become a great ninja. And my goal… I will achieve title of jonin.” With that Sakura was done her introduction. And by the time Sasuke finished his she was pretty sure she’d been the only one to actually do the activity properly.

“Alright, tomorrow you will be tested to see if you are actually suited to become genin. Meet at training ground eleven at sunrise, also don’t eat breakfast.” He told them and Sakura shifted, she would definitely be eating a light breakfast. Breakfast provided energy for the day, maybe a heavy dinner as well.

”But Sensei! What’s the test about?” Naruto asked and they all leaned forward hoping to get the answer when a eagle above cawed loudly right as their sensei said it. Sakura squinted to read chakra.

Mischievous.

She chanced a glance at the ghosts behind her but they all seemed silently amused. Mr. Campfire gave her a small smile as he put a finger to his lips. Sakura turned back already done with trying to decipher their thoughts and moods. Her eyes were on the bird instead now, it circled above head, “A red ribbon…” Mr. Lightning said coldly, must have been tied to its leg making Sakura’s eyes blow wide at the revelation.

She had read a book on the coloured signals sent with hawks. Blue meant Hokage summons. Green were sent to jonin to signal the assigning of a mission. Orange to Chunin. And Yellow to genin. But those last two colours weren’t usually used unless you were specifically chosen to be on a mission and weren’t informed when the decision was made. Those were war time ribbons but a Red ribbon meant… ANBU.

Sakura’s eyes dropped back down to their sensei but the man was gone and the bird was flying away. And all Sakura could think was, their Sensei’s and ANBU? That… makes so much more sense.

The rest of the afternoon was spent idly talking to Kiba, who was charismatic and fun, about their teams and Sensei’s and such while walking back to the hospital. Sakura found it a bit tiring to talk to people for so long, like she was entertaining a crowd.

But with Kiba it came so easy. She could just sit there and listen to talk if she wanted or she could ramble the entire time about things she liked that didn’t even understand and he would be happily content either way.

Sakura appreciated that, it was yet another thing to value about Kiba Inuzuka. She was starting to realize she wasn’t so opposed to the ghosts suggestion for her to make friends. She did genuinely enjoy the boys company after all.

As they arrived at the hospital Sakura was quick to check herself out with the help of a very much concerned and exasperated nurse. Then she was off, Kiba had to go have dinner which his family and so he and Akamaru left, not that Sakura minded too much.

On a whim she decided to go check out their new training grounds.

Notes:

Ok! Next chapter Ami dies! I’ve been putting it off but I think this is the right time. Sakura has officially snapped, not publicly but like psychologically she’s realized she’s not weak and that she can be more so I’m down with Ami’s death.

Plus I’ve been like mulling over it and I think I can juice it for all the drama it’s worth. Like this is gonna be an entertaining death! Hopefully!

To follow up on the whole Sakura thing, did any of you see my foreshadowing in this chapter? I have tags on this story and I’m totally doing a bunch of foreshadowing lately! Eeeek! I’m excited! With how I’ve planned stuff the lighter bits should start getting a hell of a lot darker after Ami’s death, cause well… shit happens!

Also! I’ve been reading the comments and am loving the guesses! I’ve dropped in a few more hints but I think I’ll start making things a bit more obvious. Cause like Mr. Rain spoke last chapter! Yay!

So we will be seeing more dialogue from him and a few of the other ghostly friends. Definitely a lot of Mr. Candle next chapter he was super excited for Ami’s death and all so he’ll be present and cheering Sakura on!

Chapter 6: A life for a life, and debt duly payed

Summary:

Sakura trains with a new sensei, and she joins a new religion as well.

(Heads up cause this is gonna be a longer chapter)

Their training grounds were a calm clearing in the forests. A small stream could be heard passing by along with a memorial stone located just at the edge of the trees, Sakura had known the stone before she lost her vision.

After all, it was where she had gone to pay tribute to her aunt. A fastidious women who died in the kyuubi attack.

Sakura walked over to the polished rock and reached out, her hands passing over names. “Kushina Uzumaki.” She read the name out loud, she caught the slight hitch of breath from Mr. Lightning and Mr. Rain. When she turned to look at them in question she caught Mr. Campfires gaze first, a sad look, she could feel it.

”My wife was an Uzumaki.” Mr. Lightning murmured softly his tone wistfully sad as he stared at the name. Sakura nods in understanding and turns back her hand continuing to brush in a downwards stroke until it landed on the very bottom name, she suspected it was the first to be put on there. Izuna Uchiha. The name resonated within her, Izuna. And Uchiha was the first to be killed in action and honoured.

Sakura removed her hand from the name indents and stepped back. She admired the quite humm of nature chakra around her, a reason she loved the outdoors. Then she turned away from the stone and walked a few steps forward, making sure not to bang into the tree a bit always.

”Lightning-san, can you teach me that jutsu you were talking about? The one I wrote down in my journal?” It was the first time she’d addressed them with her self appointed titles for them.

Confusion rippled through them before Mr. Lightning spoke. “My names Minato Namikaze, but if you’d like you can call me… sensei.” He said adding the term in lightly and Sakura blinked slowly not being able to really comprehend his words.

”Oh, ok.”

Was all she managed to squeak out. One of her ghosts was the fourth Hokage!? Why!? But… well, that sure explained a lot. And brought up double the questions.

Like, why did he care about Naruto? Was it because his wife was somehow related to the boy? And, why did he sound so disappointed and hurt about Kakashi being an ANBU? Also, did that mean he was going to teach her his signature Jutsu!? The fuinjutsu teleportation technique that made him so famous!?

”So…” Sakura started her head looking in his chakra’s direction briefly. “Does that mean you’ll… teach me?” She asked tentatively, as if she was ready for him to declare it a joke. No one had ever offered to teach Sakura anything, she had to listen very intently at the academy to get any sort of useful lessons.

”Yes.” He stated and Sakura took in a sharp breath. “I have no successor, and Jiriaya doesn’t know the flying thunder seal so I might as well teach the only person who can listen.” Sakura felt dizzy, she must not have been taking in enough air because she was suddenly sitting down.

”Slow down please. I just- I need a minute.” She murmured and felt the press of familiar chakra. Mr. Rain, she had completely overlooked his reaction to Minato-sensei's wife’s name. But that was a different train of thought she’d have to put on hold.

pressing into the others chakra signature was like second nature, an emotional crutch if you will. And Sakura was happy enough to let the habit stick. Her companions response was almost immediate, the warm pressure that surrounded her, wrapped her up in itself was different from the other times.

He wasn’t simply letting her lean on him and leaning back, he was wrapping himself around her. Almost like a protective shield against the rest of the world. Sakura melted.

Then he was pulling away just as quickly as he’d came to lean on her. And that was ok, because he’d administered the affection until he was beyond uncomfortable with it and Sakura could not for any less from her closest friend.

With a deep breath in and then out she nodded. “Alright, where do we start sensei?” And the happy sparks that the usually sad Minato-sensei’s chakra made were all the more worth it.

———

It was late into the night when Sakura finally dragged her aching body back to her parents house. But this wasn’t like the times she came back aching from the beatings. This was a good kind of ache, one that made Sakura smile the whole way back.

Minato-sensei had started with body and chakra exercises, he said before she could learn any of his ninjutsus she would need to expand her reserves and train her body to be able to use them flawlessly. Sakura was beyond happy, she was euphoric with it all.

To have a shinobi, a sensei, actually put effort into bettering her… well it was overwhelming. And for that person to be the fourth Hokage no less, well, Sakura finally felt like she was starting to get somewhere in the ninja world.

And then she arrived at the house. And instantly her mood dropped upon sensing her parents chakra inside. Mr. Rain pressed close practically fusing their chakras like he’d done when she’d stand in front of Ami or after a beating.

Sakura flinched in surprise a little at the press of another chakra on her other side. Minato-sensei was pressing gently against her, and if he was alive she’s sure they’d be brushing shoulders.

She felt herself calm with the presence of the two beside her, and briefly she glanced back catching sight of the others. Mr. Candle was directly behind her, Mr. Campfire on his left and Mr. River on his right. Sakura sent them a small soft small smile savouring in the way their chakra stuttered and softened.

”Sakura.” And then the carefully curated calm that had settled over the group was gone. Sakura’s back was rigid straight as her head turned to her mothers chakra. The chakra was like being in a tornado during winter, ice and snow whipping around through the air.

It physically hurt Sakura to touch, not as intense as Naruto’s but still painful to be around and feel. “Okasan.” Sakura greeted with a stiff bow. “I didn’t realize you’d be home tonight.” She added in and Sakura’s mother tutted while her manicured red nails drummed against the counter. Sakura had had to paint them after all. Only after her mother had lectured and slapped her though

”If only I had known you would be a girl, maybe I could have had things differently.” Her mother said wistfully and brought the glass she had been absently swirling to her painted red lips, taking a long swallow of the wine. Sakura’s mother always wore red, she had been forcing Sakura to do so as well for years now. Sakura hated the colour, but she figured it didn’t matter since she couldn’t see.

”I’m sorry, I’ll try harder.” Sakura murmured, head down, eyes down, hands clasped, posture perfect. She’d learned the etiquette of a court lady. She knew how to act in front of her mother, knew what to wear, knew how to escape. But Sakura was a ninja now, she didn’t were the same red silk kimonos as her mother wore because she had no need for them.

Mebuki’s eyes raked over her and she risked again. “Don’t dress like a whore Sakura. You are the daughter of a wealthy family, at least present yourself as such. Otherwise I’m sure your father could get you a job in the red light district so you at least dress for your role.” Mebuki warned and Sakura stiffened her hands tightening to fists as fear flashed through her.

She could smell the light scent of copper coming from her palms and tongue as she bit down hard enough to draw blood. She could feel the sharp and hot fury of her ghosts. But Sakura swallowed it all down and lowered her head.

”Of course, Okasan.” She replied and Mebuki Haruno nodded waving her off as she started drowning the rest of the glass. And that was Sakura’s cue, no need to stretch it all out. Not when Sakura knew how her mother got when drunk. She was almost a genin anyways, almost there just this one last test and she would be safe.

After tomorrow she would be safe from it all. Because Ami would be gone by tonight, and Sakura would be moved out by tomorrow. No need to dwell on the bad thoughts when it all was temporary.

Sakura made her way to her room closing the wooden door behind her. She knew her room like she knew her own hand. She could trace every indent in the wall, every crack in the hardwood. Sakura knew the space better than anyone, and so when she went to her little closet and grabbed out her notebook she didn’t need to see to know where it was.

Didn’t need to see to know what it all looked like, what the quilt and fuzzy rug looked like in the morning sun because she could feel it instead. Sakura pulled out a thin book from her pillowcase, the books cover was a simple grey circle with a triangle in the middle. Jashinism, it read and Sakura smiled. She had had to get Mr. Candle to read it to her. She liked the idea of jashinism, it would mean she would have a use for the people she killed after.

“Is it time flower?” Mr. Candle’s voice could only be described as morbid feral excitement and she cast his chakra a glance in worry. But it wasn’t darkening like Sasuke’s. It was moving, crackling and popping with chaotic heat. He was excited. How morbid. And Sakura refused to analyze the feelings in her own chest. Because it was simply not information she wanted or needed. She changed quickly, into all black so that it was easier to hide.

Then she grabbed the kunai hidden under her pillow and slipped out the window and into the night. Her ghosts followed at a slow pace behind her, most were too moral and righteous. Or they were trying to hide their own satisfaction at what was about to play out. Sakura bounded through streets, sticking to the sides of the roads and the alleys. She moved swiftly, in a way copying Mr. Rivers chakra and how it moved.

When she found Ami’s signature it was in a small house on the outskirts of the Sarutobi clan compound. There was only three chakra signatures, two were civilian level and the other a genin, Ami. Sakura secured her gloves, the face mask, and her hood before pulling out the Oleander flowers she’d got from Sasuke who’s mother had a poisonous garden. The pretty pink flowers rested in her hands before sakura pulled off the leaves and petals, then she walked to the door and knocked. Ami’s mother opened it, a woman who looked kind enough looked her over and smiled saccharinely at her. “Ami, your friends here!” She called and stepped aside welcoming Sakura inside. “What a pleasure it is to meet you, you must be Sakura-chan. Ami talks so much bout you.” She trilled as she laughed and closed the door behind her. Sakura smiled back politely. Her eyes glancing over at her ghosts who were tense, other than Mr. Candle and Mr. Rain one of which was excited and the other blank.

Ami came running down the stairs and when her eyes settled on Sakura a wide grin split over her features. “Puppy! I’ve missed you!” She giggled and strides over her hands coming to grab Sakura’s wrist and tug her forward. “We’ll be upstairs Okasan!” Ami said delightedly and her mother only hummed good naturedly. Sakura shivered, this family was monumentally fucked up. Sakura shifted the poisoned senbon in her sleeve but stayed silent as Ami dragged her up. Ami pushed Sakura into what Sakura presumed was the little witches room and slammed the door behind them.

”I’m so glad you came to see me puppy, I needed to relieve some stress. My team is made up of a bunch of idiotic kunoichi from lesser clans. And my sensei is an ugly and annoying clanless shinobi.” She ranted as she caressed Sakura’s hair. The pinkette hummed noncommittally as she only half heartedly listened. The oleander in her gloved hand she was so conscious of that it freaked her out slightly. Sakura dropped the leaves and petals into Ami’s pillowcase as Ami pushed her down.

“I heard from a cousin at the hospital what happened to you.” Ami went on making Sakura still. “Such a shame really, I was hoping our kids would grow up together just like we did. Now my kids will have to find another dog though.” Ami huffed and flicked her hair over her shoulder. “Whatever, I’m sure Sasuke-kun will help me find them a useful toy like you’ve been.” She said and Sakura bristled.

”You know… I never told anyone this but I actually like girls more than I like boys? I have the biggest crush on Ino-chan but she only has eyes for Sasuke-kun. It’s actually the reason I made you into my dog. So Ino-chan would be happy. But she never noticed. Probably for the best, she’s an angel after all. She probably wouldn’t like to see your bloodied face.” Ami said thoughtfully and then she punched Sakura square in the jaw.”All I could think the entire time you were friends was, how dare you? How dare civilian born have the audacity to stand next to Ino-chan and look into her eyes. Ino-chan is mine. All mine. So, you see? I really had to do all this. For your own good.” Ami said as she slammed her knee into Sakura’s chin.

“No one so lowly as you could ever dare to look upon my Ino-chan and the angelic presence she is.” Ami snarled with feeling and Sakura finally struck back. Her hand coming up to slam the senbon into Ami’s neck. The girl looked down at Sakura and its wide incredulous eyes as she choked on her own blood. Sakura snarled at her now, “I don’t give two shits about your obsession with Ino. You took something you had no right to take. So I will take your life in compensation.” Sakura said with a valiant smirk as Ami collapsed forwards drowning in her own blood as the poison made her do.

sakura was quick to rip the senbon out and dash downstairs to slash the woman’s throat out before she even noticed Sakura’s presence. Then Sakura dragged Ami downstairs and started drawing out the ritual circle in their blood. By the time she was done Sakura started her prayer to jashin-sama. Her ghosts has been left behind at the house, she wasn’t letting Campfire-san or Minato-sensei witness her cruelty. But Mr. Candle and Mr. River and insisted upon coming, and of course Sakura hadn’t even doubted that Mr. Rain would be jointing her. Mr. Candle was at her side. Sakura had went and retrieved the Oleander and shoved them inside the two sacrifices mouths before she started.

The prayer was and tedious but Sakura chanted on enraptured in the smell of blood that was thick in the air and the feeling of Chakra fading away. Then she plummeted the dagger into her own stomach at the end offering up herself like the book said. Immediately the circle started to flow with chakra and Sakura felt a dark presence swoop through her as the foreign power pressed a seal onto the back of her neck right along her spine. It was Jashin, he was accepting her as a disciple. Sakura could cry tears of joy in that moment.

After the ritual was finished Sakura burnt the house to the ground along with the surrounding forests. She made sure the bodies were turned to ash and then left silent as the wind as if she had never been there in the first place.

Notes:

Omg, I feel so bad. I totally forgot about this account. Apparently my sister had it and started writing a Shameless fanfic??? I don’t even know. Anyways, I’m back bitches!!!

Sakura has finally killed Ami, it was gruesome. Don’t ask about the Oleander I just decided that was going to be apart of the joining ritual. I’m gonna get deep into Jashinism, it’s gonna get culty. Kinda excited.

Also, Mr. Lightning was revealed! The others are soon to follow. I really really want Mr. Rain to be revealed but that’s only gonna happen under certain circumstances so it’s farther away. Also, writing a blind character that can sort of see is really hard guys, not gonna lie. So if some things are inconsistent… sorry.

Anyways, next chapter is gonna dip into Jashinism and the plot going forwards so yeah, see ya soon!

Chapter 7: Our Haunted Pasts

Summary:

Sakura learns a little bit about her sensei

The following morning after Sakura’s first ritual and her newfound status as immortal had Sakura groggy with growing pains. It wasn’t enough that she had the worlds worst luck, she also had to be short and barely ever grow.

Sakura shuffled out of the house, her stuff had been all packed up into a storage scroll that she’d managed to snag out of Ami’s house before she burnt it down. Shame the rest of their belongings burned down in the fire, Sakura would now have to actually buy furniture for her new apartment. One which she meticulously chose, located directly in the Shinobi district. According to her ghosts the apartment building held a vast number of ANBU members which meant she was safer there than anywhere else.

Sakura hummed her whole way to the training grounds. They had a survival test today and Sakura was eager to pass. She wanted to start taking on missions and collecting pay quickly in order to furnish her apartment. “Minato-sensei?” Sakura called and the man hummed from her side. “Will we have a training schedule?” She asked and the fourth thoughtfully hummed. “I suppose I should make one, after all. You'll have a lot more free time now that you’ll be living on your own.” He said and Sakura nodded. “That’s true. Ah, I might need to get a roommate though… since I can’t use a stove or an oven.” She said and the ghosts all made noises of agreement.

“You could get a summons.” The idea was offered by Mr. Campfire and Sakura furrowed her brow. “But I don’t think summons can cook.” She said and the man shrugged. “Some can, others cannot. A kinsmen of mine had a contract with the orangutang summons, they could cook.” He said and Sakura blinked in astonishment. “How fascinating.” She murmured and Mr. River nodded in agreement. “He was a fascinating cousin to have.” Sakura blinked and then looked back. “You’re related?” She asked and Mr. River and Mr. Campfire huffed. “We’re brothers.” They replied and Sakura guffawed. “That’s a surprise, your chakra is so… different.” She commented and Mr. Campfire chuckled.

”Well, my imouto is-“ suddenly the man was cut off as they arrived and a new presence, a ghostly presence, was waiting. Sakura’s head snapped up to identify the new chakra signature. It felt like a silent yet gentle snowstorm in the night. “Who are you?” Mr. Candle demanded his chakra on edge as he snarled. But then Minato-sensei spoke up. “Sakumo-san?” Sakura blinked.

The new presence stepped forwards, away from Kakashi side, Sakura absently noted. The shinobi sensei was crouched in front of the stone. “Yondaime-sama, it’s been a while.” The new voice greeted and Sakura processed the information trying to understand who this new ghost was. “Ah, I see there are others with you. Are you all… following my son’s student?” He asked and Minato sensei nodded from beside Sakura. Sakumo-san, whoever that was was looking at Mr.Rain curiously now.

”I’ve never seen you in the village. Are you perhaps from the Shodaime’s era?” He asked but Mr. Rain shook his head. “I’m not from this country.” Was all her friend replied before he shrunk to the back of the group. “Huh. How unusual.” Sakumo-san said and then turned to look at Sakura. “She’s a very reserved girl, but she must be a very special too in order to have such an interesting collection for a peanut gallery.” Sakura frowned, she didn’t think of herself as particularly reserved. Sure, she wasn’t really interested in making friends during the academy but she was polite and helpful when the situation arose.

”Who-?” Sakura started to say to the ghost but then Kakashi seemed to acknowledge her presence. “Maa, my former teammates.” He explained, probably thinking she was asking him who he knew was on the memorial stone. Sakura blinked and blanked. She’d completely forgotten his presence. “Ah, Kakashi-sensei. Sorry to bother you. I didn’t think you’d be here so early.” She managed to save herself as the ghosts went quiet. “It’s no bother Sakura-chan, although I have to get going to have breakfast. See you later for the test.” With that he was gone. Sakura’s brows furrowed as she watched him leave and Sakumo-san float after him. Didn’t the ghost refer to Kakashi-sensei as his son?

Then wasn’t Sakumo-san, Sakumo Hatake? As in The White Fang, Sakumo Hatake? Sakura blinked rapidly and then spun on her heel to face her ghosts. “That was The White Fang, wasn’t it.” She asked and Minato-sensei nodded. “He died a few years before I became the Yondaime.” He explained and Sakura grunted. “I keep meeting famous people…” Sakura muttered and heard the laughter of her ghosts.

Sakura took the extra time she had to practice her katas and do some physical training with Minato-sensei. When her teammates finally arrived Sakura was perched up on a tree branch, legs dangling down and a thick textbook about chakra and its uses on her lap. Sakura figured she should start from the very beginning as Minato-sensei kept bringing up content she didn’t know about. So Sakura started to frequent the library. The books on chakra control and it’s usages was by far the most interesting.

Sakura learned she could pinpoint chakra into her senses in order to enhance or dull them. Such as he nerves in order to dull her pain reception and enhancing muscle growth to be stronger and faster. She could even enhance or slow down her heart rate so that she wouldn’t need to intake as much oxygen.

“Sakura-chan!” Sakura set down the textbook and flicked her eyes over to the raging ball of chaotic chakra that is Naruto Uzumaki. “Hello, Naruto.” The boy yelped as Sakura jumped down landing softly before him. “Careful Sakura-chan! You could get hurt if you keep climbing tall things all the time.” Sakura only smiled politely at the younger boy. She glanced to the Uchiha who looked on with narrowed eyes, suspicion painting his features. She looked away.

”Would you like to get breakfast together?” She asked and her teammates gave her chastising looks. “We can’t Sakura-chan! Kakashi-sensei said we shouldn’t eat or we’ll puke!” Naruto said with exaggerated hand movements and wide eyes. Sakura shrugged. “Well I was just talking to Kakashi-sensei and he happened to mention he was going to get breakfast. I don’t think he was really paying attention.” Sakura left out the part where Minato-sensei had suggested that she eat food beforehand. And who was she to ignore the Yondaime’s advice?

Sasuke looked surprised and Naruto looked cautious. “Alright, I guess… wanna get Ramen?” The boy switched his mood quickly cheerful at the prospect of his favourite food. Sakura smiled at him, “Ramen sounds fine to me.” She said and then the both of them turned to look at Sasuke who still looked pouty. “…Fine.” Sakura smiled and bumped his shoulder affectionately which he grunted at and Naruto jumped into the air with a fist pump. “Yosh!”

 

Notes:

So we discovered something new! Sakura doesn’t just see her own ghosts but other peoples ghosts as well! So to shine a little light on that I’ll elaborate why she hasn’t been seeing ghosts constantly everywhere.

So we know Sakura sees ghosts through her chakra sensing abilities. So humans have a colour spectrum so we can only see the colours within the spectrum Sakura has a chakra spectrum. So my theory is that when someone dies they lose their physical chakra but they still keep their spiritual chakra. So for Civilians who already have low chakra Sakura cannot see or hear them because she can’t detect them. Whereas when she is in the presence of one of the Bijuu when it’s not sealed she would be blinded by them. So Sakura can see Shinobi spirits because of their chakra, and she can hear especially talented shinobi because they have more chakra than others.

Yeah, so there’s my explanation!

I know this was a shorter chapter but I’m kinda working up to the big Wave mission and then once the Chunin exams arc is over we’re gonna start seeing some romance which I’m hella excited for! I just kind of have to build Sakura up because she’s not strong enough yet.