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Opposite Day

Summary:

Evil versions of Anna and Elsa appear, causing the two Arendelle royalty to have some very important questions. How will they cope with the answers their evil versions give? Will their lives ever be the same?

This is some stupid bullshit and I apologize.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:


It was a calm day in Arendelle castle. Queen Anna was hard at work running the kingdom, hunched over her desk signing paper after paper, hoping to make at least a small dent in the mountain of stationery before goofing off with her sister for the rest of the day. 


Yes, in a remarkable display of maturity and character growth, Anna was somehow managing to focus of her work despite her extremely kissable sister being nearby. Elsa herself was taking a break from living in the woods to visit her beloved Anna, and was hard at work herself, staring at her sister's profile like the gay icon she was.


A remarkably ordinary day in the lives of incestuous disasters that were the Arendelle royalty, at least until the fiery-red demonic portal opened in the middle of the study.


The two sisters launched themselves up from their seats, ready to face whatever steps through the portal side-by-side. Well, they were, until what looked like emo versions of themselves stepped through.


"I am Hellsa!" Red-haired goth Elsa said in a completely over-the-top, evil voice. "And this is my sister Hanna-" she waved to an equally red-haired goth Anna, "we are from the Evil Dimension, and we are your opposites in every way! And we have come to-"


"Wait," Anna so rudely interrupted Hellsa's very evil monologue, "if you were our opposites, wouldn't you be guys?"


"W-well, no," Hellsa stumbled over her words, not used to being interrupted, "we're still other versions of you, and you're a girl, so..."


"Wait, other versions of us can't be guys? How does that work? If you're evil versions of us, why can't there be guy versions of us?" Anna's eyes squinted judgmentally.


"Well, um, y-you see..." Hellsa faltered under Anna's piercing gaze, at least until Hanna stepped in.


"And how do you know you aren't the guy versions of us, huh? We are your opposites." Hanna grinned evilly.


"W-wait wait, w-what, that's r-ridiculous." Anna spoke with the utmost believability, "W-we're w-women, right Elsa? Just two normal girls, right?" 


Anna's totally cisgender sister looked bashful, "...I have always wanted to wear a suit." Anna stared at her sister- brother? in disbelief, as Hellsa seemed to regain her evil composure.


"This is all very amusing, but your personal revelations can wait until after we've killed you and taken over your kingdom." Hellsa laughed haughtily at her own devilish evil plans. 


After a long, arduous minute of evil laughter, Hellsa shot a fireball from her hand at the two totally 100% cisgender women, who quickly jumped out of the way. The stray fireball disintegrated a bound and gagged Olaf, who had been tied up for his crimes against comedy. 


"Nooooo, not Olaf!" Anna cried out very sincerely, definitely not silently cheering for the snowman's demise. 


"That's right! First, your beloved Olaf and next, you! Then I, Hellsa, bisexual Queen of Hellendelle with rule! Mwahahahahaha!" 


"Wait, your bi?" Anna interrupted Hellsa's very important evil laughter. Hellsa seemed confused by the question for a moment, until she broke out into another evil grin.


"Of course! And I am happily married to my husband, Hhans!" Elsa evilly punctuated her sentence with a wall of fire dramatically rising behind her, cuz she's extra. Her haughty smugness lasted until she saw the looks of pity adorning the Arendelle royalties's faces.


"What?"


"You're married to Hans?" Elsa questioned pityingly.


"No wonder you're evil. That guy's a jerk." Anna snarked. 


"Not Hans you imbeciles! Hhans! With two H's! And he is not a jerk, he's a perfect gentleman!" Hellsa crossed her arms and pouted cutely, but like, in an evil way.


"Wait." Anna's voice suddenly turned grave as a thought struck her, "What's the opposite of bisexual?"


"Asexual." Hanna supplied helpfully. Anna recoiled from the statement as if struck, and turned to face her now ashen "sister". 


"Is that why you never wanted to have super hot incestuous sex?" Anna asked as if she had just seen the secrets of the universe, and didn't like what she saw.


Elsa could only stammer, confirming Anna's worst fear.


"No, no, it's not fair! I have a sibling who loves me, but doesn't want to have super kinky sex? It can't be!" Anna cried to the heavens, fat tears spilling down her cheeks. 


"If it makes you feel better, we can have super kinky incestuous cuddling?" Elsa consoled, rubbing Anna's back.


"It does." Anna perked back up quickly and planted a quick kiss on Elsa's lips.


"Ha!" Hellsa laughed evilly, startling the two out of their gay moment, "Yet another difference between us. Me and Hanna respect familial boundaries!" Hellsa laughed like it was the most evil thing in the world.


"You do? Why?" Anna asked in genuine confusion, matched by her brother's own befuddlement. 


"Familial boundaries are lame." Elsa spoke solemnly.

"Yeah! I can excuse being evil, but I draw the line at respecting familial boundaries!" 


"You can excuse being evil?" Hanna questioned, which went ignored.


"Enough of this! You "women" are-" Hellsa's very evil statement was cut off by Hanna grabbing her exposed ear.


"Helsa, are you being sexist again?" Hanna questioned in a tone that said just how many times they've had this talk before.


"N-no, I'm not being sexist!" Helsa whimpered in an evil way. Hanna squinted at her sister, peering into Hellsa's evil soul for any dishonesty. 


"Oh! Oh, I see." Hanna annoyance quickly boiled over into anger, "You were being transphobic to these poor eggs who didn't even know they were being insulted." Hanna yanked at Helsa's evil ear, dragging her back through the hellish portal, ranting all the while.


"I know you're in a straight-passing relationship but that's no excuse for being a bigot-" 


The rest of the words were cut off by the portal closing, leaving no trace of its existence. The two royals could only stand in disbelief.


"Well. That happened." Anna spoke after several minutes of silence.


"Yes, it did." Elsa replied helpfully.


"Well." Anna paused, "Do you wanna make out?"


"Of course. Then we can try on suits."


"Perfect!"

. . .


"Wait." Elsa stopped admiring himself in his suit. "Evil Anna got super mad at Evil me for being transphobic."


"Yeah?" Anna questioned, not liking where his brother was going with this.


"And they're our opposites." Elsa turned to his brother with a hard gaze.


"Yeah." Anna squeaked.


"Anna." Elsa spoke in a tone only used for intimidating kings, "Are you a transphobe?" 


"...no." Anna whispered pitifully.


"Oh good." Elsa wiped his brow in relief, "Because I could never love someone who doesn't respect people identities. Especially not when they're transgender themselves."


Anna could only gulp, and silently reconsider his beliefs.

Notes:

For context: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/641501491206815767/1045915531007500359/IMG_0529.jpg

I have nothing else to say but I'm sorry.