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Tired. He was so tired. Of everything.
Of his so called destiny.
Of having to hide his magic.
Of Arthur.
Once again, he has been forgotten, yes the King took precedence over him but that didn't mean that they could just forget him. Like - like he was worthless.
But then again, maybe he was, at least to them. None of them knew who he really was and that while it broke his heart every second of each day, it didn't seem so important as he knew - or well he thought he knew - that they saw him as a friend, that he was worth something to them.
But apparently he was not.
And he was tired of it.
While he was not going to give up on his destiny, he thought that maybe, maybe he was going about this the wrong way.
Afterall, nothing in the prophecy had said that he needed to be by Arthur's side.
Yes, he was going to change things, once and for all, take his destiny in his own hands.
"Thank you." He told the Diamere. "For everything you've done and told me."
"But that is not everything." He smiled and in that moment, Merlin understood why they called him the Key to All Knowledge. His eyes were twinkling with something that could only be weary experience and though not as much, Merlin knew that to those observant enough, his were similar.
"I have told you that Arthur is his own bane yes, but there are other things at play here too. I know that you still mourn the witch but what if I told you that there was a way to bring back the friend you knew."
"What?"
"Morgan Le Fay is not who she looks like. Reach out with your magic and you will understand."
Merlin was not going to question the wisest creature there was.
He closed his eyes and instead used his magic to see. His first instinct was to recoil from the black tangle that was her magic but he could see what the creature meant. From behind that black swirling mass came a green glow, the colour of the the forest canopy.
"She's imprisoned?" The question came out in cracked words.
"While the hemlock was indeed the only choice you had Emrys, it gave Morgause the opportunity to plant this enchantment in her. It's attached to her very soul."
"What-what can I do for her?"
Because he was not going to let her suffer any more after everything he had done. No one was going to suffer if he could help it. Not anymore.
"You Ambrosius, are the only one that can help her. Your dragon had already begun the process."
He eyebrows shot up. "Aithusa?"
As if her name had summoned her, the dragon stumbled in the cave.
Seeing her again in this state was like a dagger to his heart.
What had happened to her?
"Aithusa." This time he called to her. She froze, looking at him with something like dread. He felt like he wanted to cry. She feared him? But then he remembered that the last time they had seen each other, he had ordered her away.
"Oh Aithusa... I didn't mean - I don't want to away from me. I was just trying to protect you." He reached out for her with his mind, trying to push his feelings at that moment to her and while she did understand, he was the one who froze. Her mind, her magic was so broken and it was so so wrong.
He couldn't help himself this time and let out a sob and the next thing he knew was that he had an armful of dragon while he bawled like a child. "Oh Aithusa, I'm so so sorry. I'm - I'm a failure for a dragonlord. I'm sorry. You're so young. You shouldn't have had to go through this little one. I should have been there to protect you."
She nudged him huffed out a bit of smoke in his face, like she was trying to comfort him, whining lowly.
The sound of her voice, the realisation that she couldn't speak now, was almost enough to send him into another fit of tears but he held himself back.
Crying wouldn't fix anything now.
"I-i-You are already doing so much for me but can- Can I ask-" He wasn't exactly sure what he was asking if the creature, if it was even possible.
"Do not fret Ambrosius. She is the Light of the Sun. She does not deserve this fate. I will help you but first, Morgana."
"I - of course. What need I do?"
"Morgana is an unwilling prisoner. She has been fighting all along and will keep doing so, you will need to reach out to the part of her that is still her Ambrosius. There is a place of healing waters known as the Cauldron of Arianrhod where you must take her. There, you must speak with her and make her step in the waters willingly, with her fully knowing your intentions and then you must call to the White Goddess."
"What?"
The Diamere seemed amused. "I did say that you were the only one that could accomplish this, did I not, Ambrosius? As long as your intentions are pure, she will appear to help you."
Alrighty, pure intentions, he could totally do this.
A plan was beginning to form in his head. It would be certainly be difficult but it would be worth it.
The Diamere seemed to know his plan as he continued, indulgently. "I could wager that the littling can only be healed in the same way too. "
"You hear that Aithusa, everything will be fine again. I'll make sure of it."
The white dragon crooned and Merlin smiled. He might not have been the best until then, might have ignored all his other duties for Arthur but no more. He had hatched her and she was as good as his daughter. She wasn't going to suffer any longer, not under his watch.
He placed his forehead against the crown of her head and sent his emotions to her.
"Your bond with her will only grow and so will your destiny, Emrys, if you continue on the path you have decided but bear something in mind. You need to let go of hate of your past to be able to create a future with love."
~
"Mordred."
"Emrys." He seemed genuinely but pleasantly surprised. "You're alive."
"Thanks to the Diamere. "
Merlin felt a wave of guilt from the young druid. "I do apologise Emrys. I took King Arthur first because I thought it was what you would have wanted. I meant to come back for you but then we met the knights and I was...overwhelmed." He could understand that, after all people of magic had been taught to fear the red capes since their tender childhood.
"No one mentioned you either - so it slipped my mind. I'm sorry Emrys."
Merlin had guessed but it didn't mean that it hurt less once he heard it aloud.
He had been forgotten, like he was insignificant.
Well apparently he was to them.
"No no Mordred, you're not at fault, I actually contacted you to apologise."
"Emrys?" He seemed befuddled and Merlin was once again was reminded of his age. Why had he been so cruel?
"I apologise Mordred, for how I have treated you in the past. I can't expect you to understand my reasons nor to forgive me but I owe you this explanation."
The young druid stayed quiet and Merlin took this as his cue to continue.
"These past years have been hard on me, I grew bitter and paranoid. I-You deserve to know this. Many people warned me against you, the dragon, the crystals among others warned me to kill you before you realise your destiny. But I guess - it's no excuse, I'm well aware of that - but a part of me didn't want to, a part of me couldn't bring myself to do it because I knew you didn't deserved to be punished for something you hadn't done yet, that I wasn't certain you would ever do. But I did try to kill you, I can't deny that. I tried because even though I know these prophecies aren't set in stone, I - well if your prophecy has a chance of not coming true, so has mine, right? I'm - I've seen the err in my ways. I am truly, truly sorry. You didn't deserve my scorn."
He was quiet for a while and Merlin didn't prod. It was a lot to take it. Maybe he wouldn't even respond. It was what he deserved.
"What is my destiny Emrys?" He finally inquired, his voice sounding soft even through his mind.
He hesitated for a spilt second before he remembered that he had promised himself not to lie anymore, unless it was necessary.
"Killing Arthur."
"Emrys I would never! Arthur is a good King. He is the hope of Albion. I would never Emrys. I would never." He hadn't said it but Merlin heard the please believe me in there.
"I know. I know Mordred. I believe you."
"Why?" The answer was immediate and Merlin could hear the desperation in it. He wanted to believe that himself.
"The Diamere. He told me that Arthur is his own bane. Maybe if I had continued on the road I was, I would have been the one to push you to kill him. Something I just realized Mordred is that trying to stop something from happening is what can be the factor in it becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. I can't guarantee that you won't kill him but it doesn't have to be in cold blood. Maybe when Arthur will be grey and suffering, he'll be the one to ask you to give him poison to end his pain and this is how you'll be the one to kill him. It doesn't have to be in a battle or a murder."
"I - Thank you Emrys, for revealing this to me, for trusting me. And I accept your apology. You have such a great burden on your shoulders, it must not be easy to make the decisions you make all the time. But thank you for making this one. And I do understand, seeing me with the renegades must not helped your decision, so I do understand and I promise you Emrys if it is in my fate to kill Arthur, I will make sure it is not in cold blood."
The relief he felt was groundbreaking.
"But Emrys, I must ask, why are you telling this to me through mind-speak not talking to me face to face once you're back."
He sighed. "Because I'm not coming back Mordred."
"Wha-what? But-but what about your destiny? Arthur? Your friends? Your life is here in Camelot!"
"I am not giving up on my destiny Mordred. I'm just seeing things more clearly now. I'll still be fighting for Albion, just, in another way. Our people have suffered long enough Mordred and I can't just let them keep waiting for Arthur to see sense. I'm going to create a safe place for them. You're welcome to come or you can stay by Arthur's side to protect him, not that he will need protecting, I'll make sure to let everyone know that he is to be left alone. "
"You know, despite your power, now is the first time you truly seem like Emrys from the legends. "
"Well Merlin has to learn first so that he can become Emrys from the legends."
Merlin gave a soft smile despite knowing that Mordred couldn't see it.
"From now on Mordred, your destiny in your hands. Make your choices well."
~
Merlin felt way to tired for this this but he needed to get this over with.
After his conversation with Mordred, he talked a bit more with the Diamere.
"Why do you call me Ambrosius?"
"Because it is another of your many names."
Then following his advice, he left Morgana with Aithusa and went to the crystal caves.
The Diamere had said that he needed to confront his fears.
So he did.
After this, he only wanted the best version of himself to come out.
In the caves...he saw his father.
It proved to be a very educational visit. He not only learnt about himself but the exact way to heal Aithusa along with his steps in the future.
He also saw what his fate was supposed to look like had he continued on the same bitter path he was on. It was terrifying.
He did realise something though.
He was Emrys.
He was magic itself.
And by the Triple Goddess, he sure wasn't going to forget that anytime soon.
~
"You!" Morgana snarled when she woke up and saw him.
She looked around and saw the lake. She looked surprised that she wasn't tied up.
She threw her hands forward. "Àstrice!"
"Gesclian."
"You? You have magic." Morgana laughed hysterically but it turned to a snarl.
"Traitor! You are nothing but scum!"
"That depends on your point of view." He was calm, like he hadn't been in a long time in the presence of Morgana.
"What are you playing at? Healing me then bringing me here alone with you and leaving me unbound to do as I please?"
"I'm tired of fighting Morgana. When we were in the caves, I met the Diamere."
A mad gleam found its way in her eyes. "Where is it?"
He ignored her. "He made me see what happened to you. You're being held by an enchantment and deep down you know it. I want to help you."
There was a moment of silence where he could see the flicker of colours in her eyes but then she laughed scornfully. "Why would I believe you?"
"Well I want the girl who I could call friend, my partner in crime back. The only reason I betrayed you Morgana was because you betrayed us first."
"Uther deserved to die!"
"Maybe so but it wasn't up to you to decide that. Also, Arthur would have led the kingdom into ruins had he ascended the throne at that point in time."
"Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! It's always him with you. Why!?"
He sighed. "What if I prove to you that I mean you no harm."
She just raised an eyebrow in disbelief.
He smiled and titled his head towards the sky. "Aithusa!" He beckoned her to them.
The white dragon flew down clumsily to Morgana and nudged her, trying to make sure that she was fine.
Merlin let the two girls have their moment before he said Aithusa's name again and she came bounding towards him.
He scratched her behind her ear. "Hi baby girl, remember what we talked about?" She chirped, nuzzling his hand. "You still up for it?" She nodded but still looked a bit hesitant. He crouched down and hugged her. "It's alright Aithusa, I promised that I wouldn't fail you again, didn't I? That I would let nothing hurt you anymore? It'll be alright." Merlin tried to soothe her worries.
She sent a look at Morgana before she slowly walked into the water.
"H-how? What? How do you have my dragon?"
"Well because it's not your dragon but mine and her name is Aithusa." He met eyes with her. "I hatched her Morgana."
He could the shock on her face the moment she registered his words.
"Then where were you when she was imprisoned!? You're her dragonlord, you should have been there for her! You're a pathetic failure at everything afterall!"
This time he flinched. "I'm not omnipresent. Had she called for help, I would have come, do not even dare doubt that for a second. And...it's not an excuse but she was supposed to be being taken care of by the Great Dragon at that time. I don't know what happened."
She seemed even more shocked now. "The Great Dragon? But Arthur killed him?"
"Please, you know better than that. A magical creature can only be killed by magic and a dragon can only be killed by a dragonlord. I wouldn't have let the last of this noble kind be killed."
By the time this conversation had reached that point, Aithusa had reached the middle of the lake.
Merlin smiled reassuringly at her before he raised his arms towards the lake and spoke the incantation.
"Yfel gæst ga þu fram þisse lichaman. Biþ hire mod eft freo. Ar ond heofontungol sceal þurhswiþan!"
So concentrated he was, that he didn't notice Morgana backing away a few steps in shock from the raw power she heard in his voice.
A white light blinded them and a warm presence could be felt.
It was gone as quickly as it came but something had changed.
The Aithusa that flew out was beautiful. She was the size of a large war-horse and all her scars, her wounds and any malformations were gone without a trace.
She twirled gracefully in the air before coming down and landing far more lightly than it should have been possible for a creature of her size before Merlin.
She bowed at him and for the first time, he heard her voice. "Father, thank you."
Not for the first time, that day, Merlin fell to his knees and started crying.
~
"If you're not enchanted then the spell will do nothing to you."
"Why should I trust you?"
Merlin sighed, they had been having this conversation since fifteen minutes.
"Isn't Aithusa proof enough?"
"She's your dragon. I'm no one to you. You can easily change the spell and I'll be none the wise."
"It's a sacred place Morgana, I can do you no harm here. "
"That doesn't mean you won't try. There's always a loophole."
"What if I get in the water with you? I stand next to you, you've heard the spell once, if you hear me deviating, you can stop me anytime but any means necessary. Does that suit you?"
She thought upon it for sometime before she finally sniffed disdainfully.
"You won't let me leave so I suppose this is agreeable."
Merlin hid a smile. Even under enchantment, there was still a part of the Morgana he once knew.
He considered offering her his hand to spite her but he needed her agreeing with him right now.
He trudged in the water until he was waist height then looked at Morgana who was still on the bank watching him suspiciously.
Aithusa went near her and said something that he couldn't hear. That seemed to convince her and she made her way to him.
"If you try anything." She warned him, getting a dagger from God knows where and pressing it to his neck.
He recognized the dagger. It was the one Arthur had gifted her once. He had to suppress a smile.
Instead he lifted his hands to place it on her shoulders, his movements slow enough for her to be able to predict what he was going to do.
"Ready?" He asked.
"Let's just get it over and done with." She snapped. "So that you can finally get the stupid idea that my sister enchanted me out of your thick skull!"
Instead of responding, Merlin stared into her eyes, let his own glow gold and spoke the spell.
The brightness from before was amplified from where they were. It was almost burning. As it was, he heard Morgana scream, and a jolt of fear went through him. He couldn't have messed this up. He hadn't wanted to hurt her.
But before he could do anything, he felt a blinding pain in his head which was gone as soon as it had come. However, the aftermath of it was that he felt lighter than he had in years. He could see and remember how slowly bitterness clouded his mind and his actions and how much he had changed.
While the incident with the Diamere had helped him to realise that he didn't want to continue on the path he was on, it was here that he realized all the harm he had caused.
He choked on a sob especially when he felt like a motherly hand stroking his hair. "It isn't too late now my child. The fate you have to accomplish is a hard one, you've done wonderfully. You've only let a little hate from the world affect you, it could have been so much worse. I know you're tired my son so I hate to ask it of you but you must go on. You must carry the weight of your people for you are the only one who can right the wrongs. Have faith and have courage child. Things will only get better from now on."
He didn't manage to get out a response when he felt her leave, even though the comfort of her presence lingered around when he opened his eyes.
He felt more at peace and lighter than he had in years. He felt focused and most importantly he felt in sync in his magic like he had never been. He heard the nature around him singing and he felt the power thrumming in this place.
Morgana was staring at him with tears in her eyes when he came back to be.
"Merlin." She sobbed. "Thank you." And then her hands were around his neck and her head buried in his chest.
"Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm sorry Emrys. I'm so sorry for what I have done to you. Thank you Merlin. I'm sorry."
He passed his arms around her waist and held her against him as she sobbed for a long, long time.
"You're safe now Morgana, I promise."
◇
"Why did you leave Arthur?" Morgana was still leaning against him, like the enchantment would take a hold of her again if she let him go but they were now at the shore and Aithusa was curled up around them.
"He left me behind one too many times first. He said quietly, caressing his beautiful baby dragon.
"Oh Merlin." She shifted so that she now was hugging him from the side. "I always did say that you deserved better than him."
He let himself lean on her. "I think that maybe it's what I deserved for my wrong choices. I can't regret my choices in the past because it would change nothing but I want you know that one of the things I wish I could go back and change was betraying you."
She sat up straight. "No! No! Listen to me Merlin! You did the right thing, I wouldn't have wished everyone to die. My life is nothing compared to hundred of others. I had forgiven you back then, when I was...dying in your arms. After all, you could have just let me die. The spell would have been broken but you bartered with Morgause, you let me live. What she did to me next is not on you."
He didn't reply so Morgana continued speaking. "You could have let me die. You're supposed to be my doom Emrys."
"I think," He said slowly. "That I already accomplished that part of the prophecy." The stunned silence that greeted him encouraged him to continue. "I mean I poisoned you once. On top of that, I just kind of destroyed the enchantment that made you ... Dark - the darkness to my light."
"That does make sense. But we can't be sure it's true." She sounded hopeful though.
"There's a way to make sure." He said slowly. "And I called him to us." Merlin felt his kin's mind brush his own and he hurried to speak. "He might scare you but I need you to remember that I will let nothing happen to you. Okay?"
Morgana looked at little frazzled at his abrupt changed but nodded none of the less. "Okay."
Just in time as well, because a large shadow passed overhead before landing in front of them.
"Merlin!" He growled. The boy felt Morgana inch closer to him. "What are you doing with the witch?" He didn't let anyone respond and instead snarled at the girl. "What did you do to him?"
And then he fired.
Merlin had expected this. As a dragonlord, fire couldn't hurt him anymore, which helped a lot with his fear of pyres but that wasn't the point. The point was that it was the perfect way to kill Morgana without him being injured.
On the other hand, fire would only make him stronger.
But again, he had expected this so a shield easily sprang up in front of him and Morgana.
"Kilgharrah calm yourself!" He exclaimed, his voice bordering on his draconic one but not quite yet.
He huffed but ceased his attack.
"Brother." He said, moving forward a hand outstretched, knowing that invoking their relationship would help. "She has done nothing to me. Hear me out first before you pass any judgement."
The dragon eyed them both for a moment before he sighed. "Very well. But only because I'm well aware of the stubbornness of Dragonlords, especially yours Emrys." He said the name, baring his sharp teeth towards Morgana.
He smiled. "Do you recognize this place, 'Gharrah?"
"Of course. This is a place of pure magic."
He hummed. "Yes, it is. What else can you feel?"
The dragon gazed at him suspiciously before he closed his eyes. They snapped open soon enough. "The-the White Goddess was here. And her presence is way too potent for her having been here only once. How are you still standing?"
He seemed in awe.
"I met the Diamere." He confessed. "I've learned a lot. I feel like I changed enough for a century in the last day."
He brought his huge scaly head near him and sniffed. Merlin didn't move and let him make all the observations he wished.
"You have changed." He sounded gleeful. "You are no longer suppressing your magic. I didn't notice it sooner because it has blended in so well with the magic of this place. It is beautiful." He nudged him gently and Merlin smiled. "It is as it should be."
"Morgana." He began slowly. "Had been trapped by an enchantment that Morgause had cast on her. Her actions had not been her own. I called the Goddess forth to cleanse her and it worked. She's free of the enchantment. I have a guess that this is the part of her that I was supposed to be the doom of. I need you to verify."
Kilgharrah seemed surprised at what he was hearing. He turned his golden gaze to the high priestess and for a good minute, no one moved. "She does seem changed," he finally admitted. "Alright, I will grant you this."
He settled down and closed his eyes.
Merlin met Morgana's eyes and conveyed the question of whether she was alright. She breathed out shakily but nodded.
Then they waited.
Kilgharrah came back to them with a jolt. "It is - " he seemed breathless. "It is incredible. Your actions have changed destiny young Warlock." He bared his teeth at Morgana again but this time, it was a smile not a threat. "She is no longer the evil that would stand in your way and the young druid boy is no longer destiny to kill the King. You will build a Haven for all magic users." Then he faltered. "And Aithusa - Aithusa will be captured by Sarrum and she - will suffer." He sounded so much in anguish.
"No." Morgana spoke for the first time since the Great Dragon arrived. "No, that, that already happened."
"So it was Sarrum then." Merlin muttered before raising his voice, "Morgana is right 'Gharrah. The reason why I had to summon the goddess twice was because - well the first time was to heal Aithusa."
He placed a hand his brother dragon's snout and beckoned his daughter with the other hand. "She's healed and safe now."
Merlin almost thought that Kilgharrah was going to start crying.
"You protected her."
"I tried." Replied Morgana, "But in the end, she's the one that protected me."
He smiled, kind and fatherly. "I can believe that. Thank you. I'd like to apologise for what I've pushed Merlin to do to you. I was so blinded by hate and wanted the first way out for his destiny."
" I can understand that. I did much of the same too, Morgause was one of the only paths to freedom for me and I let myself be tempted."
"It's alright." Merlin tried to soothe. "If I didn't have the hope of this prophecy I don't doubt how bitter I would have already become in my first year in Camelot itself."
Kilgharrah spoke then, seeming different, old, wise, like someone who had live beging his capacity and who understood.
"You might not be filled with hatred yet but you will be if you go back to Camelot, won't you?"
He didn't reply but he didn't have to.
"I have to admit Merlin, I have tried to protect you to the best of my abilities even if it meant pushing you towards the easiest path." He look at Morgana and Aithusa and sighed. "But now I see, I was never meant to intervene. It is only the goodness of your heart that will bring this destiny to its end. Whatever you decide to do now Merlin, I will follow willingly. Whatever you ask of me, I will not hesitate."
The nuance between and ask and ordered was not lost on him and he smiled softly. "Thank you brother."
The moment was broken as soon as he pulled back, Merlin's eyes buzzing with gold flecks. "How about we start by taking care of Sarrum?"
Cloaked in this place magic, his own finally free, no one would have doubted the man in that moment.
And in Legends, it was that moment that would be recorded as the beginning of a new Era.