Chapter Text
Toni has been working at La Belle’s for around 5 months now, and she hasn’t been fired yet so she figures something must be working okay. It’s around halfway through her senior year, she’s freshly 18 and has finally settled in with a foster family she thinks might actually stick until graduation. Life wasn’t great, but it was pretty good, and Toni would take pretty good. Even if that means spending her Saturday night busting her ass at Fort Travis’ okayest restaurant.
She’s polishing cutlery just a little half-heartedly when the hostess, Tia, glides by with a “two top in your station, Toni,” so Toni smooths out her ponytail and grabs some menus as she walks across the busy dining room. As she reaches her station, she stops dead. Shelby Goodkind is sitting at a corner table at the back of the restaurant opposite a blonde woman that Toni figures is probably her mom. Shelby looks… good. She looks really good. Okay, Shelby looks fucking beautiful. Her makeup is understated but flawless, and her hair has been perfectly straightened and held in place by a simple white headband. Her babydoll dress is white, too, and the only pop of color comes from the pale yellow cardigan that has been placed delicately across the back of her chair.
Suddenly, Toni feels vaguely embarrassed to be working there, but she steadies herself and forces her best customer service smile. She and Shelby aren’t exactly known for interacting with each other anyway, so she figures she’ll just stick to the script in the hopes the evening will pass without much incident. As she gets closer to the table, she finally observes Shelby’s mom a little closer and, clearly, the Goodkind genes are something annoyingly God-like, because her mom is super pretty as well. Toni approaches the table, vaguely noting the shy look that flashes across Shelby’s face, “Hey, welcome to La Belle’s, my name is Toni and I’ll be your server today. I have some menus for you right here but can I get you started on some waters?”
Shelby doesn’t meet her eyes, but her mom gives Toni a warm look and says, “Waters would be great, and I think, since we’re celebratin’, I might go ahead and treat myself to a chardonnay.” She grins conspiritally at Shelby and, for a second, Toni is a little taken aback by how similar they look. She’s also kind of thrilled, because this is basically her favorite ever opener when it comes to waiting on any middle-aged woman letting loose. She looks at Shelby’s mom and cocks her head, “Hmmm… I’ll need to see some ID, please. We can’t serve minors here, 21 and up only.” Shelby’s mom gives a taken-aback laugh, as Shelby rolls her eyes. Toni waits expectantly for a beat before relaxing and shaking her head, “Oh, okay, maybe this once I’ll let it slide, just don’t tell my boss.” She winks and takes a step back from the table, “I’ll grab your drinks and then come tell you about the specials, alright?”
Toni rings through the drinks ticket and idles at the small bar whilst she waits. For a Saturday, it’s pretty quiet and the rest of her tables are all eating pretty happily so she can take a moment to linger as the drinks get made, and finds herself eying Shelby’s table casually. She and her mom seem to be pretty relaxed in conversation and Toni feels vaguely happy for her, she knows that Shelby’s dad is kind of strict and remembers how she had seen him once, walking with Shelby at a parent-teacher conference at school. How Shelby had seemed so anxious and eager to please, her back ramrod straight. Toni was kind of grateful that it seemed she had her mom to speak to, at least.
“Be more obvious, Casanova,” comes a gruff voice behind her. Toni spins around and Toni finds herself face to face with Joe, the bartender who has worked there since forever. He gestures to a tray of 2 waters and a large chardonnay on the bar top. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Toni mutters, reaching for the drinks. Joe gives a laugh, “Don’t sweat it, amigo. The best of us turn stupid at the sight of a pretty girl. I won’t tell.” Toni rolls her eyes and goes to grab the tray, but just before she leaves she does a quick scan for managers in the vicinity before leaning in to give Joe a whispered request.
Toni arrives back at the table holding the tray in her left hand, putting the drinks down slowly. “Two waters… Chardonnay…” She pauses and looks at Shelby, “And, uh, big guy there pulled a cherry coke by accident. You can have it, if you want?” Shelby’s glance flits quickly to her mom, who gives a small shrug and smile as though giving permission. “Thanks, Toni,” Shelby says softly as Toni’s stomach gives a lurch.
“Right. Uh, specials. I can run through the specials. Uh, do you ladies have any allergies I need to know?”
“Oh, I’m, like, deathly allergic to shellfish, but that’s all.” Says Shelby.
“Okay, definitely won't tell you about the lobster thermidor, then. Got it. I’ll let the head chef know - nothing that carries its house around. Specials-wise, we have an eggplant parm which is actually pretty bomb, and a cajun chicken alfredo. Do you need a couple minutes?”
“I think we’re ready, actually.” Shelby’s mom says, “I’m goin’ to go for the chicken caesar salad, please. Honey?”
“I’ll get the angel hair pomodoro, please.”
“You got it, totally. I’ll ring that in and we’ll get that started-”
“I recognize you.” Shelby’s mom suddenly says, “You’re in Shelby’s class, right?”
Toni and Shelby look at each other for a second and Toni feels a little cornered. She pretends to think about it, as if she doesn’t quite know if she and Shelby share a class or not. Eventually, she says, “Uh, yeah. Actually. Yes. A couple, I guess. Like… English.”
“And chem,” adds Shelby.
“Shelby is better than me at English,” says Toni, not really knowing why she says it.
“Well, you’re better than me at Science, so…” supplies Shelby, pulling a face like she doesn’t know why she said it, either.
If Shelby’s mom picks up on the awkwardness, she doesn’t let on, instead, she smiles kindly at Toni. “I think Shelby mentioned you’re on the basketball team? You’re quite the talented captain, apparently. The girl's team win about 10 times more than the boys, Shelby says. You must have colleges trying to snap you up?”
Shelby flushes, instantly, and Toni fights a grin and suppresses the urge to ask for details of what exactly Shelby has said about her. Instead, she shrugs and says, “I guess. Texas A&M is looking pretty sure right now if the season goes okay.”
Shelby’s mom breaks her gaze from Toni to glance at her daughter. “What a coincidence!” She says, “Shelby has been considerin’ goin’ there herself! Can’t stop talkin’ about it.”
“Oh.” Says Toni, “Well. See you there, maybe.”
“Right. Maybe.” Says Shelby quietly, staring at the straw in her coke. It’s really awkward, then, so Toni gently removes herself with a muttered excuse about putting their orders in.
The rest of the evening passes relatively gently. Toni checks on their table twice, and Shelby barely looks at her until their entrees are done and Toni’s turning on the charm again to see if she can swing a dessert their way. Again, Shelby looks toward her mom who winks and says they’ll take a look. In the end, Shelby’s mom just orders a green tea and Shelby gets a lemon sorbet, and Toni kind of furrows her brow at that because, like, she’s pretty sure Shelby has a sweet tooth - she’s seen her eat a Honey Bun - so it seems kind of sad that she’s settling for some sour shaved ice.
She brings it out nonetheless, and it’s when Toni has brought the check that she’s gathered enough of herself to ask, “So, you said you’re, like, celebrating. What's the deal?”
“Oh!” Says Shelby’s mom, as if she’s being dying to tell somebody, “Shelby got Miss Congeniality at her latest pageant.”
Toni watches as Shelby’s eyes cast downward, and she looks almost disappointed, so she says, “Oh, sweet. That means everybody likes you, I guess?”
“It means I lost.” Says Shelby, not looking at her.
Toni watches as Shelby’s mom takes a breath, and she guesses it’s supposed to be encouraging; the way her shoulders straighten and she holds out a hand and places it over her daughters. “It means you did a lovely job, honey.” She says.
Shelby gives a smile, but it’s not the kind of smile with her teeth that Toni has seen before. “Sure thing, mama.” She says as Toni puts down the check with a small thanks.
They leave her a good tip, but Toni still feels kind of wild and anxious that the encounter ever happened at all. As they leave, Shelby turns, just once, and catches Toni’s eyes. And the last thing Toni sees when she goes to bed that night is Shelby Goodkind, in her yellow cardigan, searching for her from the restaurant doorway.
_ _ _ _
“You sure you’re comfy?” Toni mumbles into the neck that she’s currently buried into.
“Mhmm,” comes the reply, “I have curfew…”
The implication is clear. Toni needs to hurry up. Needs to expedite the current teasing caressing she’s doing. Her hands are under clothes, sure, but yet so far away from what the girl underneath her obviously wants. Toni huffs, just once.
“Wanna take my time with you, you drive me crazy.”
Slender hips come up to meet where Toni’s thigh presses in the middle, chasing any kind of release. She pulls away regardless, “Wait, wait.” Toni says, shrugging off her hoodie, “Let me just…” She bundles the hoodie into a makeshift pillow under the girl's head as she lays her body weight back over her date.
“You’re so sweet.” Is the response. And, yeah, it’s not the most romantic of circumstances, laying in the flatbed of the truck Toni has spent the best part of 4 years to get running, but she can still try and make it the best she can.
“I’ll always be sweet to you,” Toni breathes out, trying to find lips on hers, but honestly her hands are distracted and she can feel the blood rush throughout her entire body and it feels like she’s fighting against her own urges a little. It’s been like this for the best part of 3 months. Whenever they’re together Toni has felt this incarnate, feral juxtaposition between pure and unbridled lust and dutiful, gentle reverence. It makes her feel insane, like a trapped dog.
“Gonna take your skirt off. Need to touch you.” Toni says, almost like a warning.
“Just work around it. It’s cold.” Comes the response, and Toni dies a little inside because it is cold. And they’re in the back of a fucking truck, and Toni knows she’s talented sexually, sure, but is it ever enough?
“You told you’re mom I’m good at basketball?” Toni can’t help but blurt out. Shelby pulls away from where Toni’s lips are attached to her neck and quirks an eyebrow.
“You wanna talk about that ?” She asks, incredulous. “She thought you were real slick, by the way, that whole ID thing.”
Toni grins lazily, feeling like she may have some upper hand, “What can I say? Moms love me. I should have left my number on your receipt.”
Shelby grabs her by the back of the neck, hips rising, “I already have your number, dumbass.”
Toni nips Shelby’s collarbone playfully, “I was talking about your mom…”
Shelby goes to hit her, but it’s soft and girlish in the way Toni has come to draw out of her in the 3 months they’ve been doing this. Shelby’s hand meets her shoulder, and Toni allows herself to pretend to be hurt as she falls onto her back and pulls Shelby on top of her. “Come here. Let me warm you up.” She says, and it’s leading, but it works, because Shelby sighs into her mouth and lets Toni’s hands work her over slowly. She drags her hands over Shelby’s thighs, under her skirt, and toys with the seam of the underwear she finds. Shelby doesn’t falter and her hips are instant and insistent as they start to rock in her lap.
“Babe…” She moans, “I seriously do have a curfew…”
“We have time,” Toni says, removing her left hand and bringing it up under Shelby’s shirt to find her nipple over her bra. Shelby moans again, but it’s a little strained as she says, “We don’t” Shelby says, “I wish we had more time, but I really, really, don-”
Toni moves to where she’s wanted. She moves Shelby’s underwear to one side in the way Shelby loves, but also kind of hates that she loves because it’s filthy to her in the way it’s not filthy to Toni. She checks before she moves in, that Shelby is wet enough, and she more than is, but still Toni lets Shelby sink onto her fingers herself.
They both sigh at the contact. For a moment, Toni is kind of awestruck in the way she gets whenever she’s with a girl like this. Especially when she’s with this girl. Toni sits up further, bringing Shelby closer to her body, her hand trapped between them, and it’s kind of an awkward angle for her, but Shelby seems to like it as she brings bother arms around Toni’s neck and holds her close the way she likes. Shelby’s hips rock and it's kind of slow and languid despite her early insistence and Toni wonders what it means that it’s been more like this, lately, and less like the frantic kind of immature quickies that they would have back when this whole thing started. Toni curls her fingers and gently maneuvers her hand so her palm hits Shelby better, eliciting a drawn-out, breathy moan. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” Toni says, “I can’t get over you.” Shelby whimpers as her hips start to rock more insistently, but not any faster, telling Toni that she wants her to move with a little more pressure. Toni does, and it causes Shelby to turn in and bury her face into Toni’s neck and Toni can feel her open mouth against her skin. Toni redoubles her efforts and soon Shelby’s breath is catching in her ear and she breathes out, “I think I’m gonna…” and she never quite says it but Toni finds it so hot regardless, and when Shelby finally lets go, shuddering in her lap, Toni feels half in love. Just, like, because a pretty girl just came because of her. Totally normal reaction.
Toni gently eases out of Shelby and she wants to check her phone to see how much time they have left, but she also kind of doesn’t want to know. Instead, she lays back down slowly and pulls a boneless Shelby on top of her, cuddling her in. Shelby kisses Toni’s jaw softly, “You’re real good at that, you know?” She murmurs, dazed.
Toni grins madly, “Sex… Basketball… AP chem… Say more nice things.”
Shelby laughs, “I always say nice things to you! I guess you’re just effortlessly spectacular, huh?”
This time it’s Toni who huffs out a laugh and says, “I try really hard, actually.” She admits, “Especially with the sex.”
“Mhmm, well, your dedication is appreciated. No doubt the girls of Fort Travis all feel the same as I do.”
Shelby tries for levity as she says it, but Toni notes the shy way Shelby turns her head to look for her reaction. It’s not really a conversation they have. The atmosphere suddenly feels loaded and, the truth is, Toni hasn’t even looked at another girl since this began, but admitting that feels a little too much like admitting other things. Things she isn’t sure Shelby even wants.
This situation between them is… tentative. It had started completely out of the blue, they had been lab partners working on a genetics project in Toni’s room when they had gotten into in after Toni had made a thinly veiled barb about Science being real instead of Shelby’s imaginary God and the pair had been in the middle of a huge argument about how Toni has always been so judgemental and hostile without really knowing anything about Shelby at all. Toni had gone to counter the accusation, but then Shelby had leaned in, grabbed her, and kissed her. Toni had pulled away first and, despite her shock, she had taken one look at Shelby’s blazing eyes and heaving breaths and had gone right back in and kissed her back. Things had escalated quickly and Toni had asked if Shelby was sure 3 times before undressing her slowly and teaching her what it was like to be with a girl.
It had kept happening and, nervously, Shelby had started to reveal the way she has to hide, and why. She had admitted to Toni, fairly early on, that she was just waiting for college so she could finally be free from her family and their expectations, and live her life truthfully. Toni had figured that Shelby, knowing that Toni was as gay as she was loyal, knew that she would never out her and therefore considered her a pretty suitable practice before she could go off to college and get a real girlfriend.
It made conversations like this tricky. Sometimes she suspected that Shelby just assumed that Toni was at least considering other girls, she would notice it in the way that Shelby would always look across the cafeteria at who Toni sat with at lunch or the way she would furrow her brow at her basketball games if a cheerleader got too close.
“Nah, Shelby,” she says, trying to sound casual, “I mean, it’s not really my style. Besides, you keep me busy enough.”
Shelby gives a happy hum, snuggling her face into Toni’s neck before saying, “Wait. Are you callin’ me high maintenance?”
Toni laughs, kissing the top of her head, “I’m saying you deserve at least medium maintenance. Oh, hey, I almost forgot.” Toni stretches to the side and hooks the strap of her backpack, pulling in towards herself and unzips it one-handed. She reaches inside and pulls out a Honey Bun, eliciting a laugh from Shelby.
“I swear to God you’re tryin’ to do somethin’ Pavlovian on me. Bringin’ me Honey Bun’s every time we do this.” Shelby says, reaching for it regardless. Toni shrugs, “I just know you like ‘em. A Honey Bun for a… Bunny Hon.”
Shelby presses a kiss to Toni’s neck, “Share it with me?” She asks, holding out the package in her right hand for Toni to take with her left so they can pull it open together. Shelby takes the first bite and hums contentedly, it makes Toni think of the lemon sorbet and she hates the thought that Shelby is controlled in any way, especially with something as big as someone she chooses to be with. So, yeah, Toni brings her Honey Buns sometimes. “Your mom seemed nice,” She says, by way of trying to get Shelby to at least tell her she has one parent who's there for her. Shelby stills, just slightly, “She is nice.” She says as if she’s expecting Toni to argue.
“Do you think you could ever tell her?” Toni asks instead.
“About u- About me?” Comes the response. “I don’t know. It’s complicated, Toni, my daddy is the head of the househol- I just, I. I don’t know.”
Shelby sounds upset, and Toni panics for a second. They don’t have much time, and she knows from previous experience that if Shelby leaves their encounters upset or spooked in any way that it can be days before Shelby even acknowledges her again.
“Yeah. Totally. Yeah. We don’t have to… I shouldn’t have brought it up, I’m sorry.” Toni says quickly.
She waits, heart pounding, until Shelby relaxes against her again. “I wish we had more time,” she sighs, skimming a hand underneath Toni’s t-shirt. “I wish we could, like, spend all day in bed.”
“Oh yeah?” Toni says, eyebrows wiggling.
“Not like that!” Shelby laughs, before correcting herself, “Well, not just like that. I just mean, like, watchin’ movies, and talkin’.”
Toni imagines her, then, curled up with some girl at college. In a tiny bed in her dorm and Shelby’s hand running lazily up a different t-shirt. She guesses that Shelby probably wants to experience more. Their trysts are incredible, but they’re just that, and Toni knows that she can’t give her everything, but maybe she can give her this.
“Well, you should come over. Like, one weekend. My foster fam is, like, super into outdoorsy stuff. They’re gone a long time on Saturdays. I can bail on one pick-up game, no doubt, so maybe we could-” She doesn’t finish her thought because Shelby is already back on top of her and kissing her like Toni has just offered her a million dollars or something. She feels a little triumphant, like she’s pleased Shelby in her promise to let her experience what it might be like one day, but also a little like she’s a substitute being brought on to play in a basketball game during the 47th minute when her team has it all locked up anyway. Like she’s just being paraded out so she could say she was in the game.
“You promise?” Shelby breathes into her mouth.
“Yeah. Yeah. We can do whatever you-”
Shelby’s alarm goes off. It’s time for her to go home.