Work Text:
Steve.
Pretty Boy.
Princess.
I don't know what's come over me. Maybe your sappiness and romantic nature are starting to rub off on me. Either way, I wanted to...no, I needed to write you this letter.
I'm not very good at articulating things like this. Not the way that you are. But I figured fuck it, I might as well try right?
From the day I met you, you've made me want to be a better man. Sure, I'd improved since living here, because this place gave me room to grow and flourish, but I feel as though I'd plateued somewhere along the way. That I was in some sort of rut. I was good; I had my anger somewhat under control, my mental health had improved a decent amount, I'd learned to love myself just a little more. All of the self hatred my dad had instilled in me had begun to fade a little bit each day. But then it all felt like I'd just...stopped getting better.
Then you came along. And god damn, did you hit me like a fucking freight train. I'd never met somebody who'd drawn me in so quickly. Someone who, without even knowing, had commanded all of my attention onto them. I wanted you. And I had you, and boy did I have you that night. But it was so much more than that.
Because the next morning came and I still wanted you. No..no I needed you
I didn't know what to do. It was the scariest feeling. Of course I loved everyone here..but something about you was different. I knew I was gonna be so fucking gone for you and I couldn't stop it. I wanted to drown in you.
And you were...perfect.
You were there for me even at my lowest and you'd barely known me. You supported me, you stuck by me and you wanted to know me. You wanted to know all of me..even the ugly parts. And I knew that this whirlwind romance was it for me.
We became boyfriends officially, but I felt like we'd already been that, you know? I felt it without needing to say it. But god did that label feel good. And then we got engaged, and that felt even better. And then we were husbands, and I never thought anyone would want me for something like that. That someone would love me the way you do. I didn't feel like I deserved it. I still don't sometimes. Sometimes I still feel like all I'm good for is sex and fighting. I still hear Neil's voice in my head. Hell, I heard it yesterday as a matter of fact. All day, after my talk with Jonathan in Eddie's room.
The only time he can't get through is when I'm with you.
You're my rock. You're the love of my life.
You're...you're home.
And I think that's something special.
I don't know if this will make as much sense as I feel like it does in my head. So I hope you can decipher this shit as you read it.
I love you.