Chapter Text
The line between routine and rut is an optical illusion; it changes depending on the viewing angle. Or, perhaps more accurately, it’s a projective personality test, akin to Rorschach inkblots. The line itself is meaningless until the subject imposes their interpretations upon it. Like many things in life, it is ultimately up to the individual to decide their perspective. Will the image be two faces, or a vase? Is the dancer spinning to the left, or to the right? Is a consistent daily schedule a safety, or a hindrance?
Soleil had wanted something to interrupt the monotony of their school week, but getting followed by a stranger had not been on their list of “fun things to do after class.”
Though, to be fair, being followed by someone who got off at the same bus stop alone does not necessarily make a stalking victim; the campus bus only has so many stops, the sleepy college town only so many points of interest. What was more concerning was that Soleil had taken four consecutive right turns and gone into three different stores, and the same older man lingered just barely within their field of view. Soleil tried to not stare too long, tried to not give him any indication that they noticed him, to not give him any sort of validation or acknowledgment, but the anti-theft mirrors of the flower shop allowed them the chance to collect some data: brown-gray hair, thick sideburns but no beard, windbreaker that looked like it had crawled out of a gutter and died before being worn, and a smarmy grin glued to his lips.
They dug into a side pocket of their backpack, and when their fingers brushed nothing but weatherproof fabric, they were reminded of their roommate’s activities from the night before. Of course, the one time they lent out their taser and forgot to get it back would be the day they actually needed it. If Lucy weren’t so damn likable, Soleil would be pissed.
Soleil started chewing their lip, biting off bits of chapped skin; they were running out of options. They couldn’t go home and put their neighbors at risk, so they needed to throw him off their trail, but there were only so many populated places they could go and stay for an extended period of time without spending money. Even at the florist’s, as Soleil picks up a single rose to inspect, they can tell that the cashier is getting suspicious the longer they stay. Taking in the scent of the fresh rose petals, Soleil closed their eyes to resist rolling them, bit their cheek to stop themself from spitting out anything about double standards while their persecutor also loitered.
Carefully, they placed the rose back in the safety of its bucket, allowing it to dissolve into the sea of petals, losing its individuality in the overwhelming homogeneity of a crowd. The cashier had started a conversation with the man, asking him what he was looking for and who the lucky lady was, and Soleil took that time to swiftly leave the store. They tried to keep a quick pace, but their legs were starting to tire and the consequence of their late night essay writing from the night before was beginning to rear its head.
As the fatigue started to become unbearable, a familiar and comfortable scent wafted through the air. Oh, duh. Where else should they go but one of the last remaining “third places” in America, a coffee shop?
Soleil hadn’t been paying attention to where they went as they tried to lose their stalker, so their chest filled with a pleasant surprise when they realized they were walking straight towards their favorite cafe, the one that Lucy would buy a bag of beans from weekly to make her spectacular morning brews. They walked into the store and straight towards the register. A blue-haired barista noticed Soleil’s presence and walked straight over, wiping their hands on their apron.
“Hi, what can I get for you?”
“Hi, can I get, uh. Um. A medium latte?”
“Absolutely, can I get a name for the order?”
Soleil froze. They turned around to check for their stalker - giving him their name was definitely not a smart move, but if they give a fake name they might forget it, but they couldn’t just say, “Sorry, I’m being followed by some creepy guy and I don’t want to give my name,” to the poor barista. The poor barista who was still standing poised to write a name on a disposable cup, expression becoming more concerned by the second.
However, the man seemed to be gone, or at least hadn’t made it to the cafe yet, so there was no reason to fret about giving their name. Several seconds later than the social script typically calls for, Soleil stuttered out, “Uh, sorry. S-sol. S-O-L, Sol.”
“Your total is $4.65, you can insert your card right there. I’ll have it ready for you at the end of the bar in just a minute.”
After leaving a generous tip to apologize for their excessive awkwardness, they walked alongside the bar to the self-serve water station, right next to the drink pick-up area. Their eyes scanned the lobby as they walked; the store was not particularly full at five P.M., unfortunately. A voice in the back of their head said something about the irony of their intentional solitude finally betraying them, but they squeezed their nails into their palm and tried to refocus.
They started to resign themselves to bothering the poor employees for help, but their eyes caught on a small two-top table in the corner. A young man was sitting by himself, intently working at his laptop; he was scrawny, but more likely to be a threat deterrent than the tables full of grandmothers. His head was shaved, and Soleil reasoned that anyone with a shaved head had to have some type of fight in them. More importantly, he was also the only person sitting alone, which would make explaining the situation far easier. The table was painfully close to the front door, but the empty seat was at least the one on the far side. Soleil took a sip of water, eyes flicking to the window.
The threat was there now, sitting at a patio table, having managed to follow them despite the interruption in the flower shop. He looked to be scouting the lobby through the window, frustrated, and for a moment Soleil thought they had actually managed to slip through his fingers. Then, the two met eyes. Soleil looked away as fast as possible, but the man noticed their attention and grinned again.
Soleil chugged the rest of their glass and placed their cup in the dish bin. The plastic clacked loudly. With a pounding heart and an aluminum resolve, they walked over to the young man on his laptop - their potential savior.
“Hey, I - whoa! Sorry!” Soleil didn’t expect him to jump out of his skin when they tried to approach. They held their hands up in a non-threatening display, but when they heard the familiar jingle of a door opening, they quickly pulled out the spare seat and sat down. The new stranger stared at them, confused, his hands hovering over his keyboard as though he had been interrupted in the middle of a thought.
“Sorry, I really didn’t mean to scare you. I just wasn’t expecting to see you here! I thought you had class today,” Soleil said as they frantically typed on their phone. His eyes narrowed and he began to speak, but Soleil interrupted. “Jessica sent me this meme earlier and it made me think of you, look.”
With a bit more force and urgency than necessary, they shoved their phone into his face with the Notes app open. ‘Big guy’s been following me for blocks, pretend to know me?’ Their hands shook, but thankfully, he seemed to be a quick read. His eyes widen in - understanding? disbelief? concern? - for just a moment, before he smiled and chuckled.
“Yeah, that sounds like me, alright.”
Soleil’s shoulders fell, their posture finally relaxing. They’d made the right decision. The forced smile on their face melted into a genuine, albeit wobbly, one as they shrugged off their backpack and pulled out a tablet. “I have plenty of readings to get through, so you can keep working. I’m just glad to see a friendly face.”
The cash register dinged. The new, safer stranger looked towards the sound with a frown. He quickly typed something, hit a key combo to save his work, and closed his laptop. “No, that’s okay. It was probably time for me to take a break, anyway.”
“Latte for Sol?” a barista called out.
Soleil moved to get up, but they froze when they noticed the threat waiting by the drink pick up station. The friendly stranger noticed their pause and quickly stood up, revealing a long, lanky body, easily a good half foot taller than Soleil at least. “Don’t worry, I’ll get it for you.”
His legs were long and it took him only a second to make the trip. Soleil watched, just to make sure the dangerous man didn’t try to start anything. The two bumped shoulders at the hand-off station, but their savior didn’t react to it, merely nodding a thank you to the baristas and returning to the table.
“Here you go, Sol,” he said, emphasizing the name to try to indicate he had learned it. Soleil accepted it and took a shaky sip. Even with the stress of being followed, the familiar flavor of their favorite coffee shop allowed them to relax a bit more.
“Mm, thank you. This is really just what I needed after Dr. Espancia’s lecture. Psychopathology is one of my favorite subjects, but god, does he drone.”
The stranger smiled sweetly - and, wow, his canines were long and sharp. Is that even natural? Maybe he was one of those people to casual costume all throughout October? But even the best costume dentures had a visible ridge that was missing on his teeth.
He raised his eyebrows. “Are we having a moment, or what?” Realizing that they had been just…staring at this guy’s mouth, they blushed and looked down at their coffee cup.
“S-sorry, I’m really spacey today. I’ve got, like, six term essays to work on, on top of my assistantship, and I’m overwhelmed.”
His eyebrows relaxed and he smirked, though a blush had started to form across his nose and cheeks as well. “I can relate to being overwhelmed.” He looked to the side again and grimaced; the stalker had chosen a seat close by and wasn’t trying to hide his leering.
Well. They were stuck for the time being. Taking a deep breath, Soleil said, “The best way to start is to just get going. Get back to your work, I didn’t mean to distract you.” They put their head down, tangling their fingers in their hair as they forced themself to read. If they just ignored the problem, it might just fix itself.
The stranger sitting across from them hummed, gaze lingering on the other man intruding upon Soleil’s safety. His eyes narrowed, but he ultimately opened his laptop and started to type again.
Soleil didn’t notice the glances he would sneak, nor the ghost of a smile that would grow with every look.
With time and deep breathing exercises, Soleil managed a tenuous focus. It was enough to read and highlight, though not quite enough for any real critical thinking. Unfortunately, as their parasympathetic nervous system started to take over once more, their bladder began to make itself known. A glance revealed that the stalker was still in the lobby. The easy grin that had been on his face earlier was gone, replaced by a glare that could boil snow.
Slowly, Soleil tried to get their new friend’s attention. He flinched when they nudged his shin, not as badly as their first interaction but enough to encourage Soleil to offer an apologetic smile. “Hey, um, I’ve got to go to the bathroom. Will you, uh. Watch my stuff?” He looked confused, like his thoughts were still stuck in a loop of whatever he was working on, until his eyes widened in understanding. He nodded. Soleil felt the burn of the stalker’s gaze, but their kidneys were making several points that they couldn’t ignore.
Thankfully, the bathroom was in the opposite direction from the threat and, like most coffee shops in the city, was only a single stall. As Soleil did their business and cleaned up, they tried not to think about the possibility of being trapped at the door when they tried to leave. The bathroom area was an open sight-line to the rest of the lobby, so it wouldn’t be very smart to try to confront them there - on the other hand, he clearly had no problem following a target into a public place with several witnesses, so perhaps he wasn’t the most clever assailant. He could have a weapon, though; his windbreaker was baggy enough to conceal anything, and the ordinary person couldn’t do much against a gun pointed at them or knife jabbed in their ribs. Soleil cursed at their earlier self for not telling one of the employees, or even just calling the police when they had sat down with their lifeline. Then again, it’s not like the police were known to be very helpful to queer people, and especially not against white men —
The hot tap scalded Soleil’s hands, bringing them back into reality. They swore, recoiling, and quickly turned the faucet off. At this point, there was no real use worrying. Either they were caught and it was all over, or they were still safe and would be able to wait until he was bored. Technically he hadn’t done anything wrong yet, so there wasn’t much of a police report to make anyway. Soleil took a long, deep breath, rolling their shoulders and straightening their posture. They gripped the handle tightly and opened the door with as much confidence as they could muster.
No one was waiting outside.
The stalker is nowhere to be found.
Soleil’s pace while walking back to their shared table was slow as they checked every corner - but the man seemed to be gone. Their table partner caught their eye. He glanced up and flashed Soleil a smile with a thumbs up. They rushed over and collapsed into their seat. They set their elbows on the table and clasped their hands, bowing their head.
“Oh, my god, thank you. Thank you for playing along. He’d been following me since, like, campus.” They tap their hands on the top of their head. “Normally I carry some kind of self defense tool, but I forgot to get my kit back from my roommate this morning. Of course, the one day you need it, you don’t have it, right?”
He doesn’t respond. Soleil unlinked their hands and laid their forearms flat on the table, right on top of left. They looked up to see the stranger looking at them in…awe? Soleil prided themself on being able to read emotion and intent well, but this facial expression wasn’t one that they saw very frequently. They coughed. “Um, so now that it’s safer? Hi, I’m Soleil. You can call me Sol if that’s too long. But you, uh, heard that earlier. What can I call you?”
“Your boyfriend…” His dreamy expression immediately shifted to one of embarrassment: his half-lidded eyes snapped wide, his roseate blush deepened to a near fuchsia, and his mild smile cracked into a shameful grimace. He shoved his head in his hands, missing Soleil’s creeping blush. “Oh my god, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. That’s so inappropriate right now, oh god, you’re gonna think I’m a creep, I just…I, I’m…”
Soleil leaned forward to put their head in one hand. Maybe it was inappropriate timing, but…it had been a while since they could freely flirt with someone. Freely, or willingly. And he was cute! “Do you wanna try that again, pretty boy?”
He curled into himself with a whine, making Soleil chuckle. He slowly straightened up but didn’t meet Soleil’s eyes. “I’m…ugh. My name is Peter.” He said his name like a child spitting out carrots. After everything, Soleil lacked the wherewithal to question it.
“Thank you, again, really. I hope I didn’t interrupt your work too much, you just looked like the safest option. And you lived up to that, for sure.”
His blush had dissipated slightly, but it deepened once more at the flattery. “N-no, I wasn’t doing anything important, just writing some emails. Nothing as urgent as keeping you safe from some…creep.” He frowned, face returning to its normal color. “He did leave, but…” he trailed off, leaving all the possibilities open in Soleil’s mind.
None of the scenarios they could think of were particularly enticing. “Well, if you don’t mind the company, I do actually have work to do. And it’s probably a good idea to stay out in public for a bit, not risk him sitting in an alley waiting to follow me home.” Soleil unlocked their tablet and maneuvered to their PDF editing app. They smirked. “Maybe my guardian angel could also walk me home later?”
They couldn’t help but glance up. Through their eyelashes, they saw Peter sputter. That blush might get stuck on his face if the two of them weren’t careful. “Y…yeah, of course, I’d be more than happy to!”
—
By the time Soleil looked up from their assigned reading, the lobby had emptied and golden sun streaked through the windows. Peter did, in fact, stay at the cafe, and ultimately offered to walk Soleil home. The two had worked in silence and sneaky glances, but the 30 minute walk to Soleil’s apartment was filled with conversation - mostly from Soleil, as Peter seemed more inclined to just listen and chime in occasionally. Soleil relished in his rapt attention, cherishing the unfamiliar feeling of someone showing a genuine interest in their person.
The sun had completely set by the time the two reached Soleil’s building. They paused at the entrance of the building and Soleil smiled up at Peter. “Well, here’s my complex. Really, I can’t thank you enough.” Their eyes flicked towards the building. “I’m on the fourth floor and the elevator’s busted, so don’t worry about walking me up there. My landlord keeps a sharp eye on the security cameras in the evening, so it should be safe.”
“Of- of course. I’m happy to help.” Peter grinned sheepishly. “And, I’m, um. I’m still really sorry for what I said earlier. I-I-I didn’t mean to come off like that, especially when you were literally just being followed by some stranger, but I just…saw your smile, and my mouth moved on its own and oh God it’s happening again-” He covered his eyes with one hand, groaning. “Sorry.”
Soleil giggled. “No harm, no foul, bud. It was very flattering, anyway.” They pulled out their phone and opened a new contact form before holding it out to Peter, who had uncovered his eyes. “I’d love to keep in touch. You seem nice.”
He stared at the phone like he didn’t believe what was happening. Soleil gave him an encouraging nudge, and he typed in his number without taking the phone in his own hands. Soleil shot off a quick “it’s me” text and waited to hear a confirmation buzz from Peter’s phone before locking it.
“Perfect. Now, I’m gonna go pass the fuck out. Don’t be a stranger, okay?” With a smile, Soleil turned on their heels and walked towards the main door. After typing in the code and opening the door, they hesitated. Over their shoulder, they called, “And besides, what a meet-cute, huh?” They stepped inside and closed the door as quickly as possible, hoping to hide their growing blush.
Peter stood frozen on the sidewalk, a hand clutching at his shirt, eyes half-lidded and cheeks aflame. He stood until he saw lights on the fourth floor turn on, until they turned off once more, before he turned around to make the thirty minute walk back to his car. He pulled a box of cigarettes and a lighter out of his jeans’ back pocket; he needed to think clearly to figure out what he was going to do next.
God, he’d never felt more alive.