Work Text:
God, my kids are stupid.
There must be a bunch of teachers thinking that very same thing about their students every single, damn day.
Niki Lauda thinks it about his kids.
Not his actual kids, not the ones he has with Marlene -well, he does think that about them from time to time too- but he also thinks it about all the young drivers he kinda sorta 'adopted' as his own kids when he rejoined the grid in 1982.
He probably started thinking like that because of Jackie.
Because he walked in on Niki and James making out one day.
Well, making out is probably a little bit of an understatement, they were pretty much about to jerk each other off.
Niki with his overalls shoved down to his thighs and his shirt racked up his chest, and James with his overalls at his ankles and butt ass naked underneath his fireproofs.
Of course they had hastily tried to straighten their clothes and tried to hide their pretty obvious erections. Of course they had both hurried to proclaim, "it's not what it looks like."
To both their surprises however Jackie had just rolled his eyes, and then raised his hands in a placating manner.
"One, it's totally what it looks like, don't lie to me," he had said, sounding tired.
"Second, give me that tool box," he pointed at the box to the right of James' feet. James had bend down and given it to Steward, his cheeks a bright shade of red. (Even darker than Niki's burns would be the following year)
"Thank you," Jackie had said and turned back towards the door.
Before he had exited the garage however he had turned back towards them.
"Before I forget it, there was a third thing. If you can get whatever you were totally not doing," he smirked, "done in under ten minutes I'll make sure no one comes in here."
He had winked at them before finally turning around and walking out the door. But Niki had been sure he heard him chuckle, "God, my kids are stupid," under his breath.
Of course Niki had been absolutely mortified by what had just transpired, and of course James had wanted to take Jackie up on his offer.
(And he did manage to get Niki on board too).
But that's probably the reason Niki started thinking about the romantic escapades of younger drivers, sometimes even drivers his own age or older, as, "damn, my kids are stupid."
It's a few days after Gilles and Didier have their falling out that Niki is walking down in between two motorhomes and catches the afore mentioned drivers heatedly making out.
It honestly looks more like Didier is trying to climb down Gilles' throat, while Gilles seems well intent to pull off the skin from Didier's neck.
Niki doesn't make a sound in surprise, he is completely silent, but the gravel does make a sound underneath his feet.
Gilles and Didier spring appart.
Both of them are flushed red and panting hard. Lips swollen and spit slicked.
“I- erm-” Didier says, obviously struggling to come up with an explanation.
Gilles however seems to have a plan.
“Fuck off, Pironie,” he gruffs and stomps off. Obviously trying to go for, 'if I ignore it it didn't actually happen'.
Didier looks after the retreating form of his former best friend, and Niki hears him draw a big, shuddering breath.
During the following weeks Niki would notice how Didier would throw longing glances at Gilles', while Gilles resolutely ignored them. Only to do the very same thing when Didier wasn't looking.
A few days before the fatefull crash Niki notices something during one of their fights.
The fact that they are standing way too close for comfort, and that their words may be heated but their eyes lacked all conviction. Just like when he and James used to 'fight' or 'discuss'.
He doesn't have the chance to tell those two that they are being stupid and to, for gods sake, just talk to each other.
And after Gilles' death it feels uncalled for to tell Didier, “See, why did you have to be so stupid.”
He does tell Alain that he is being stupid, because Nelson clearly likes him way more than just being fuck buddies.
“No,” Alain tells him, chuckles and furrows his brows. “Nelson doesn't love me, we are just having sex.”
He asks him, indignantly, why Niki even thinks that.
And Niki tries to explain, “The way Nelson looks at you. It's perfectly obvious that he is in love with you.”
Alain just snorts and shakes his head.
“You are seeing things, Niki,” he says.
But Niki refuses to believe that Alain is really this blind to it all.
He must notice the way Nelson looks at him. He must notice that Nelson is way more affectionate with him than anyone else.
He must notice that Nelson is only this pissed at Ayrton because he precieves him as a threat.
He must notice the way the two Brazilians are glaring at each other whenever they are both near Alain at the same time.
Niki tells Nelson that he should be carefull, too.
He knows Nelson would like to tell him the same thing Alain told him, “I don't know what you mean,” but for some reason he can't.
For some reason, instead of that, “I know,” comes out of his mouth.
But still, Nelson doesn't seem to do anything about it. Maybe he can't.
God, my kids are stupid.
Niki walks in on Alain on his knees in front of Nelson, blowing his fellow driver.
Alain's back is to the wall, while Nelson has his forearm rested against said wall and is spewing, what Niki can only assume, absolute filth at Alain in Portuguese.
Months later Niki walks in on Alain and Ayrton -Alain pressed up against a wall and Ayrton fucking into him- and he couldn't help but notice that some of the words that Nelson had been spewing at Alain, are the same ones Ayrton is now mumbling against Alain's shoulder blade.
He wants nothing more than to sit those three down, have them talk it out but he never does.
In the end his kids are being stupid and he just accepts it, just watches it and makes comments about it to Jackie and James.
In the end Ayrton dies and something in Alain shatters.
In the end Alain and Nelson are never the same towards each other.
In the end he didn't change anything.
Thankfully not all of his 'kids' are being stupid like that.
Elio and Nigel for example, those two are a blatant ray of sunshine when compared to the dumpster fire that Alain and his two Brazilians are.
The first time he catches the two of them it's just them making doe eyes at each other.
Nigel blushes and lowers his eyes, and Elio clears his throat, looks up at the sky and Niki would have laughed had he actually said, “Beautifull day we are having, eh?”
Sometime later he notices Nigel touching Elio more often.
A hand on the Italian's shoulder, an arm around his waist. Those two hug quite a lot.
Maybe it's because Elio is quite irritable, being teammates with Ayrton is a nightmare, according to him.
Well, now you are being stupid, his mind tells him.
Nelson joins Elio's bitching about Ayrton because he needs to go somewhere with those hurt feelings of his. And Elio bitches at Nigel about Ayrton because of that too, and because he likes Nigel.
That much is so evident, those two might as well be shouting it from the roof tops.
But other than Gilles and Didier, and Alain and his Brazilians, those two do seem to know what is going on between them. And they aren't ashamed about it.
Well, Elio isn't.
The first time Niki walks in on the two of them, nestled closely together in the very back corner of a garage, Nigel turns red and is about to go on the, “it's not what it looks like”-spiel, hadn't it been for Elio glaring daggers at Niki and telling him to, “go find your own nook.”
He goes back in to kiss Nigel then, so unashamed and uncaring for Niki's presence, that Niki hears Nigel give an audible sound of distress.
Maybe Elio noticed what was going on between Alain and Nelson. Maybe the penny dropped during one of his little bitching session with Nelson. Maybe he decided that he didn't want to be as miserable and as stupid as those three.
Elio holds Nigel's hand, allows Nigel to rest a hand on his hip, to kiss his cheek, to be openly affectionate.
They are truly the only ones of Niki's kids that are not being stupid.
Niki is glad for that, because their time together is cut short by Elio's untimely death, and Nigel is never the same again.
Elio is gone and Nigel starts acting stupid.
Maybe Elio was the reason he could be open and unashamed about their relationship, Niki wonders.
Because Riccardo is so openly interested, so openly affectionate, and Nigel keeps on trying to ignore it.
They hug, and they joke, and they seem so close, but Nigel seems to ignore the further implications.
Niki wants to tell him that he is being stupid, that he isn't unfaithfull to Elio if he allows Riccardo's affection, but it feels like putting salt in an open and gaping wound at the time.
And Riccardo isn't helping either.
One day he is making doe eyes at Nigel, the other he is making out with Nelson.
Niki remembers how Riccardo had flushed scarlet and rushed past him, while Nelson had just shrugged his shoulders and left the supply closet they'd been cooped up in at a more unhurried pace.
At least Nelson isn't being as uptight about it as Nigel.
But he also doesn't tell Riccardo that his heart is already taken.
He doesn't tell Jean that either.
Neither does Ayrton tell Gerhard that he may love him, but his heart is already given to someone else.
It also doesn't help that Gerhard and Jean seem to be ignoring the 'something' that is brewing between each other. Either way too focused on Ayrton and Nelson respectively, or just being way too fucking stupid.
Niki watches them joking around with each other, notices how close they are, catches himself thinking, fucking kiss already! Talk it out. Do SOMETHING!
He almost exclaims, “Finally!” when he notices the two of them behind the garage, closely entangled and completely oblivious to his presence. Good thing he doesn't say anything. Good thing that at least two of his kids finally figure out their shit.
He wants to sit down Nigel and Riccardo but doesn't do it, again.
Instead he calls Nelson and tells him to go and help Alain, because Alain needs someone to be there for him and Niki knows Nelson would do that.
It doesn't matter that Alain just lost the love of his life, it doesn't matter that Nelson will probably never have any closure; Alain getting help is more important now.
Years later Alain would admit to him that, “You were right,” and, “I should have talked to them about it.”
Why are all of my kids being this fucking stupid? Niki wonders.
Is it something I did? Is it something in the water maybe?
It's a relieve to find out that not only the racing drivers are being insanely stupid about their love lives.
Cycling's not his area of expertise, it's more Jacky's. Him and his fellow Belge, that cyclist they call 'the cannibal'.
Eddy, Niki thinks. He met him once and has to say, that guy is way more sensitive than his nickname would make you think.
How did he get involved with the cyclists you ask?
Well, for one because Jacky kinda managed to get into the 'my stupid kid'-category in Niki's brain.
If it's because of Jochen, or Ronnie, or the other Jochen, he can't really tell. But somehow Jacky became part of that category; never mind the fact that he is four years older than him.
Back to the topic.
For a very long time his only involvement with the cycling community was through Jacky and that one bike race they did on track.
He doesn't know what the Austrian or German teams of cyclists are doing because, quite frankly, he doesn't care to find out.
That changes after 1997.
Because Germany finally has their first Tour de France winner, and Ullrich seems to be a Wunderkind no less.
He remembers meeting Ullrich during the late 90's, maybe in '99. He sat out the Tour de France that year because of his meniscus.
They had talked about him being allowed to ride the McLaren Mercedes two seater the year before, and how he had met Mika.
"Is it normal for him to not shut up about Michael?" Jan had asked.
Niki had chuckled and waved it off as something normal between rivals.
And Jan, he didn't give him way enough credit, he did remember that when they met again years later.
Niki feels bad for Jan as he watches him during their interview with the media.
He can tell that Jan doesn't like interviews one bit. One from the slight tremor of his hands and the faint smell of sweat.
He is so obviously nervous.
When the interview is done and over he breathes an audiable sigh of relieve.
"I think I now get what you meant back then," Jan says. "You know, about Mika and Michael and their rivalry."
There is a strange far away look to his eyes when he sighs, "Rivalries are strange."
Niki can't help but agree.
Remembering how Jochen had continuesly been rolling his eyes at him and James, how Mario had groaned and told them to, "go get a room".
A few months later, when he is talking to Michael, the German mentions how he talked to Armstrong a few months ago; the other part of that rivalry of Jan's.
"That dude's a weirdo," Michael groans. "Wouldn't stop talking about Ullrich this and Ullrich that. 'It's so sad we are both retired now. Cycling isn't the same without him.' He even asked me if I knew Jan personally. If I knew what he was up to. Can you believe that?!"
"Yes," Niki says, to Michael's abject horror.
"Sounds like Alain and Ayrton," Niki hums. "And also like a certain German and a certain Finn," he raises a brow at Michael, and then pointedly ignores the indignant gasp Michael lets out as Niki goes strolling away.
Michael may be older than Jan but that doesn't mean that he is better at understanding his own love life.
It's good to know that not only his kids are being insanely stupid.
Niki wonders if there is maybe some cyclist out there, thinking like him and Jackie, “God damn it, my kids are fucking stupid.”