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For the record, Tim would like to say that he had been handling his brother issues pretty well. Even after several murder attempts from two of his siblings, some of them just weeks apart from one another, he was now civil at worst and actually brotherly at best with them.
Truly, in the grand scheme of things, with everything he experienced, getting his throat cut or shoved off a Dinosaur were certainly not the worst things to ever happen to him. Bad, yes, but not the worst.
And it’s not like he didn’t understand why his brothers did what they did, he understood that both were severely traumatized and, while that didn’t make it okay, it made it easier to forgive. Not forget, he didn’t think he’d ever forget, but he could forgive. He was good at that.
The entire family had worked for reconciliation when Jason started getting closer to the family again, and at the third family brunch, Jason begrudgingly pulled Tim aside and explained that he was influenced by the pit, and apologized for what he did. Back then Tim waved it off, pretending as if he had already long forgiven Jason, and Tim knew that Jason knew that it was a lie. But Jason showed his regret and changed ways over the months, and somewhere along they went from maintaining a careful distance to actively seeking each other out.
This was why he and Jason were around each other right now in the first place. Jason’s safehouse was closer to Wayne Tower than the manor, believe it or not, so Tim often stayed the night so he could catch an hour more sleep before going to work.
They were getting ready for patrol in the evening, Tim kept a spare suit at Jason’s place when it happened. It started out normal enough.
“Heads up,” a voice had called and Tim lifted his hand just in time to catch a cookie flying his way.
After a second of observing it, he had determined it to be one of Alfred’s making and shoved it in his mouth. “Mmh, this is heaven,” he had proclaimed, making Jason snort.
“Sure is,” the older boy had said around his own full mouth of crumbs.
Tim had his back turned towards Jason, busy closing his suit with all of his safety measures (it was to prevent anything like Paris from ever happening again, Jason called him paranoid, Tim called it being prepared, but then again, Jason didn’t know about Paris). So, Tim had been busy trying not to get electrocuted by his own suit. And Jason for all his muscle and size had still been trained by the League of Assassins for a while, meaning when he wanted to be, he was silent.
Just when Tim had finished closing his suit he heard a noise right behind him and swirled around, looking straight at an armored chest. His eyes flew up and met glowing green.
Tim’s heartbeat faltered as he flinched back a step and raised his arms to deflect a blow that wasn’t coming, because for a moment that wasn’t Jason, his brother, in front of him, but Ra’s al Ghul. A man who had brought so much pain to Tim and his family, who had taken nearly everything from him, had caused Tim trauma unlike any other person on the planet. And the unfortunate truth was that Jason and Ra’s still shared the same eye color.
So that was where Tim found himself. Months, close to a year now, of building a good relationship between them shattered just like that because Jason’s eyes reminded him of someone who hurt him and made him flinch. And for all the training Jason had, there were many reasons why he wore the helmet, and at least one of them was that he was rather bad at hiding hurt from his expression.
Tim stared at him in horror at his own actions. His arms fell back to his sides, a numb feeling spreading through them. “Jason, I-“
Jason took a step back, green eyes (green, green, just like Ra’s they were green, Ra’s was here-) flicking around the room, anywhere but towards Tim.
“I didn’t- Sorry,” Jason said in a strangled tone after a few seconds.
Tim took a step forward, immediately mirrored by Jason backing away. “No, Jason, this wasn’t- I’m not scared of you, I didn’t-“
Jason let out a bitter laugh. “Don’t,” he said in a tone that made Tim nearly flinch again. “Don’t lie to me, I- I don’t deserve that kindness.”
“No!” Tim took a few steps forward and once again Jason backed further away. “Jason, I just- I saw your eyes and they reminded me of someone, I- This isn’t your fault!”
“Yeah, they reminded you of me when I tortured you.” Jason’s eyes met Tim’s again for the first time and Tim only barely managed not to freeze, but Jason still saw the slowing of his movements and the microscopic expression of fear he must’ve made.
“No!” he still insisted. “Jason, you- This is a misunderstanding, okay?”
Jason raised an eyebrow, laughing again in that bitter tone that threw Tim right back to that night at Titan’s Tow- No. He couldn’t let himself remember that night right now. “A misunderstanding?” Jason asked, voice unbelieving and so incredibly full of self-hatred. “I don’t think you being traumatized by what I did to you is a misunderstanding.”
"I'm not-" Tim interrupted himself. This was going to become a way bigger thing than it had to if he didn't clear this entire thing up right now. "I wasn't scared because of you."
"Really?" Jason looked almost angry at the fact that Tim was denying this.
"Really!"
"Then why the fuck did you flinch away from me? Tim you don't need to protect me, if you're still uncomfortable around me then I should know, hell, B and N should know!"
"This isn't about you!" Tim rarely ever raised his voice like this, but Jason just wasn't listening, no matter what Tim said and Tim needed him to just listen.
"Well, who the fuck is it about then?"
"Ra's!"
Jason froze.
"What?"
Tim looked down, his lips tightening into a tight line. He refused to look at Jason while talking about this. In a calmer voice, he explained, "When you suddenly appeared behind me and I looked up and I saw these green glowing eyes-" He choked up a little and had to take a deep breath before continuing in a detached voice, "I saw Ra's."
Silence hung in the air, but Tim refused to look at Jason. He didn't know what to say, he didn't-
He never wanted to have to explain his and Ra's’ history to anyone, especially not Jason when he was already emotional, not when Jason already hit child rapists of kids he didn't know the hardest. Tim couldn't even begin to imagine what Jason would do to Ra's if he knew the truth about everything Ra's had done to him.
"If you're just saying this to avoid making me upset," Jason's voice trailed off.
"I'm not!" Tim snapped. For the first time in several minutes, he looked up to see confusion, rage, and doubt on Jason's face.
(His eyes were green, green like the Lazarus Pit Tim woke up next to. Green like Ra's eyes when he stared at him. Green like Ra's eyes when he touched Tim, green, green, green-)
"I'm not," he repeated, calmer this time. "I swear, this isn't- I forgave you a long time ago, this isn't about you. I swear," he insisted.
Jason gave him a long calculated look until he seemed to determine that Tim was not lying. "I didn't know you and Ra's knew each other," his voice was calm but demanding.
Tim didn't doubt that he could get out of this for now, but Jason wouldn't let him off the hook permanently, because this wasn't just Jason asking about Tim's trauma. That was Red Hood asking about someone who hurt a child Red Hood knew and cared about. Hood wasn't known to let that kind of thing go unpunished.
Tim looked down and rounded the couch, letting himself collapse onto it. Jason joined him after a few seconds, keeping a balance between sitting far enough so they didn't touch but close enough that Tim still felt 'concerned older brother' ooze from him in waves.
"When B was lost in the time stream," he started, feeling Jason tense at the mention of that dark time. "I knew he wasn't dead. But no one was listening to me, no one believed me," his breath hitched, "no one but Ra's. He found me, told me he believed me, and would give me the resources needed to get proof." His shoulders slumped down slightly. "I know I should've told him to go fuck himself, but- But I didn't have a choice, everyone else thought I was crazy, I- I had no choice."
His voice broke and suddenly Jason was there, carefully offering a hug that Tim all but threw himself into. Jason's strong arms held him and Tim closed his eyes. He was safe. His big brother was here, no one could hurt him when he was like this. Never again.
"It's okay, Babybird, you didn't have a choice, it's okay. Whatever you did-" Jason stopped, only now realizing that he had no idea where this was going.
"He didn't demand anything in return at first, but I knew- I knew he wanted something. I just didn't know what and I needed the help and- And I accepted."
Jason's grip tightened a bit for a moment in silent support. He knew a thing or two about making deals with bad people to achieve his goals and he knew the fear that could come with the uncertainty of what the other would demand.
"He gave me a team of assassins, we-" Tim bit his lip, remembering his fallen friends. "We were good. We found proof all over the world. Until we were attacked by-" He couldn't give out names if he didn't want Jason to go looking. "We were attacked and two of them were killed. Pru and I, we were wounded. It was," he swallowed harshly, "It was bad. Like, really bad. I nearly died, it was... a close call." Jason tensed next to Tim. "Ra's saved us." Jason flinched. "We didn't go in the pit."
Jason relaxed slightly, but a second later Tim's head was still tilted to face Jason as Jason studied his eyes and Tim did his best to ignore the green (!!) eyes so close to his face, close enough to touch, close enough to feel the heat, Ra's and he were alone and Ra's was touching him and-
"Are you sure?" Tim wasn't able to prevent a flinch and with the blink of an eye the stone walls around him and Ra's disappeared, replaced by a safe house and his brother.
"Yeah," he croaked out. "They performed surgery on me right next to the pit to make sure that if they failed I wouldn't die, but I never went in. I promise."
Jason nodded after a few seconds of consideration before freezing. "Surgery?"
Tim winced. He'd no doubt get in trouble for hiding this, even if he technically put it in his medical charts, he just... didn't mention it to anyone.
"Yeah, I was kinda... stabbed and they had to... You know," he winced when Jason's expression darkened, "remove my spleen?"
Jason stared. “They what.” Tim winced.
Jason leaned onto his knees, hiding his face in his hands as he silently counted down from 100 in his head. Tim patiently sat next to him, mainly glad about the lack of getting shouted at.
After several minutes of silent counting, Jason spoke, voice deadly quiet. “You’re telling me you lost your spleen over a year ago and told no one?”
Tim shifted. “Technically I put it in my files I just didn’t get hurt enough for anyone to check,” he deflected weakly.
Jason’s head slowly turned towards him, green eyes narrowed with a warning.
(Tim fucked up, Ra’s wasn’t happy he was going to hurt him again, he should’ve just said yes, Ra’s was right in front of him, he looked so pissed-)
“Tim. Timmy. Timothy. Babybird. My genius baby brother.” Jason’s voice was deadpan. “Are you fucking with me right now.”
Tim tucked his head in, unable to keep up eye contact. “I- People would have asked questions I wasn’t ready to answer.”
Jason massaged his temple. “Right. Okay. My baby brother who goes out in Gotham every night to fight crime has the immune system of a victorian child. Okay.”
Tim’s lips twitched into a smile. “Probably worse than that.”
“Don’t even joke about that,” Jason chided him, doing nothing to pretend he wasn’t smiling, especially considering it was far from a real smile. “What happened after you lost your spleen?”
Tim froze, the smile falling from his lips. He tensed up and Jason reached out to pull him close again- Causing another flinch in combination with a sharp inhale.
“Don’t.” Jason froze where he was, hand hovering where Tim’s shoulder had been a second ago. “Please don’t- Don’t touch me right now.”
Jason pulled his hand back, face twisted into concern. “Of course.”
Tim took a steadying breath. He curled up as far as he could, unaware of the knot in Jason’s chest twisting at the sight.
Even if Jason had never been the best detective in the family, he had still been trained to solve mysteries, to put evidence together. And as the Red Hood, he had more than just a little experience with survivors of various abuse survivors. And right now all of Red Hood’s alarm bells were going off.
“After I survived Ra’s wanted me to lead the League to take down the Council of Spiders. And I had to accept, but I was still injured. They gave me time to plan while I healed just a bit and-“ His breath hitched.
He had just been trying to get the story out as fast as possible, but actually saying it out loud was somehow even harder than remembering.
“And during that time I was with Ra’s. He- He wanted to-“ A tear slipped from his eye. “He wanted to own me. In every way possible. And I- I had to win his trust, I couldn’t-“
His voice failed him, his body rocking with sobs, but Jason had a good enough idea of what he meant, and it made his blood boil. He held himself back from reaching out and hugging Tim until he stopped shaking.
“I couldn’t say no.” Jason’s jaw cracked quietly at the force at which he clenched it shut. “When- When I recovered I pretended it didn’t- I played along, I- He- He didn’t stop.” Tim took a deep breath, clearly struggling to stop himself from breaking into sobs.
“You didn’t have to tell me,” Jason tried to reassure him, but it came out much angrier than he intended.
“I know,” Tim responded. “But it’s- I guess it’s good if someone knew how… How important it is that I don’t- That I stay away from him.”
Jason tensed. “I swear, as long as there is anything I can do he is never coming near you, ever again,” he snarled.
Tim looked up at the outburst and Jason saw the moment he saw the now more intense green eyes and froze for just a second. Jason let out a string of colorful curses and stormed into his bedroom. Tim was left behind on the couch, blinking in confusion. “Jason?”
Jason didn’t reply, but a second later he reemerged from his bedroom wearing a pair of sunglasses. Tim’s eyes widened before he burst out laughing. The sunglasses were obviously not Jason’s and looked douchy on Jason’s face, and Tim appreciated the gesture more than Jason would ever know.
Jason dropped back on the couch, observing Tim carefully. Tim returned the gaze, a slight smile still on his lips. There wasn’t a hint of green, no way for Tim to see through the glasses.
“Thanks, that- That helps. A lot. So, thanks,” he awkwardly said.
With a grin, Jason leaned back. “Anytime, Babybird.”
Tim looked back at his hands, shrinking a bit as he remembered the need for the sunglasses. Jason suspected there was a bit more to the story, a few details, and more events that Tim hadn't revealed yet, but they had time. Jason wouldn't leave his little brother again, and if Tim didn't want to talk about it he wouldn't make him. He only had one thing to do now: help Tim heal.
“Anything else I should know about?”
Tim raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Anything I, or the whole family, should avoid doing?” Jason clarified.
Tim paused for a long moment. “You can’t just… change your whole behavior just to accommodate me-“
“Sure we can,” Jason interrupted cheerily. “Did you know that B doesn’t keep crowbars in the cave anymore? Or that all of Joker's files only have pictures where he isn’t laughing? Those must have been a pain to get, but B did it so I could normally operate in the cave. Everyone in the family has their little things that the others look out for, don’t they?”
Tim thought for a moment. It was true. Bruce didn’t like people touching his back without good reason. Dick didn’t like to get pinned down (and wasn’t that familiar). Damian didn’t like getting physically cornered when arguing. All of these things were just respected by anyone in the family without discussion.
“Don’t call me Timothy,” Tim finally gave in. “Don’t- When I tap out, don’t just let me go but get off me and a few steps away. Don’t wake me by- By tickling me or otherwise really… touching me. And don't take my suit off for me if you can avoid it, obviously if I'm hurt you'll have to, but-" He stopped himself. "Yeah, don't, please."
Jason nodded seriously. “Anything else?”
Tim thought for a moment. “Don’t touch my hair. When I say not to touch me don’t think you know better and only do it if I am in immediate danger from an outside source.” He glanced over at the understanding expression on Jason’s face. “And please don’t treat me like I’ll break any second. I think I’ve gone through enough to have earned that kind of respect. You can hug or cuddle me all you want as long as you back off if I ask it.”
Jason smiled apologetically considering he had done exactly that and scooted closer to where Tim was sitting until their legs touched. To avoid an awkward hesitation Tim immediately leaned into his side and automatically Jason wrapped his arm around him. It didn’t feel invasive or constricting. It felt safe. Tim relaxed, practically melting into the touch.
“Do you want me to tell the others about this?” Tim tensed and Jason rushed to clarify, “I mean what we should avoid doing.”
“They’ll ask questions,” Tim stated. It wasn’t a question, it was a statement because, for all that Bruce just cared about his kids, he sometimes had no idea what privacy means.
“I’ll talk to them alone and tell them not to ask you or I’ll surprise adopt you.”
Tim raised an eyebrow into Jason’s chest. “Surprise adopt? You mean kidnap?”
Jason shrugged. “Hey, Red Hood and Red Robin, I can already see a common theme.”
Tim barked out a laugh. “Okay, yeah. But if they do ask me you won’t have to surprise adopt me, I’ll surprise adopt myself to your place.”
Jason chuckled. “I’ll let them know.” Then he leaned bag, dragging Tim with him against the back of the couch. “Tomorrow. Today is movie night.”
“B is probably waiting for us with patrol,” Tim said.
Jason shrugged, throwing a blanket over both of them. “B can go fuck himself.”
Tim rolled his eyes. “I’ll just text him real quick-“ Jason made a move to protest “-unless you want him to show up here.”
Jason paused until he backed off, settling into the couch. “He probably still will.”
Tim smirked as he tipped out a message to their dad. “Probably,” he agreed.