Chapter Text
{F- these thoughts are Felix's}
{H- these thoughts are Hyunjin's}
Felix circled the parking lot again looking for an available space and again finding none. Of course today would be the day he needed to go pick up a gift, just when it was slammed and there was some sort of an event going on. He finally found one and began the long hike in the hot sun to the entrance. Dressed in black jeans and a baggy white t-shirt and his docs at least he would be comfortable on the trek in. Felix pushed his bangs out of his eyes and checked his watch for the time. It was both a blessing and a curse for it to be Saturday. He had time to find the perfect gift without having to run back to work but he also had to deal with the crowds. A black SUV pulled up to the doors and there was a crowd surrounding it immediately. Felix looked curiously but being shorter and further away he couldn’t see anything. He shrugged and headed inside. He shopped around at a couple stores but couldn’t find anything to give his boyfriend on their 6 month anniversary. He honestly had no clue what to give Jacob. They had been together for almost a year but had only been official for 6 months and Felix wasn’t feeling as strong of a connection as he had imagined he would. He resolved to get a tea and then look some more. He was looking down at his phone for ideas when someone slammed into him. He was spun around by the hit.
“Oi, watch where yer going mate.” He said to the middle aged man and then looked up and met a pair of brown eyes behind the man and the world went black.
Hyunjin sighed as they made the turn off to the mall. They were going to do a signing at the mall which seemed weird to him but apparently that was a more feasible way of doing things in Sydney then it would be back home. He wasn’t necessarily looking forward to it. He loved spending time with Stay, their fans, but dealing with the inevitable crowds was never fun. He glanced over to see Jisung’s legs jittering rapidly. He watched Minho reach over and touch it gently and Jisung immediately settled. It made Hyunjin smile a bit wistfully. He had often wished for a bond like they had. They knew each other so well it was as if they could read each other's minds. It made him happy they had that bond but he couldn’t deny his jealousy.
They pulled up at the entrance and Chan led the way out of the cars and they were immediately surrounded with paparazzi and fans. They were ushered inside and away from the crowds down back hallways. They were led to where they were to do the signing and took their seats. The first group was led to them and Hyunjin put aside his thoughts and smiled at the Stays waiting for them.
After three hours of signing autographs, his hand was throbbing and he stood, exhaustion making his eyes feel hot and itchy and his shoulders ached with tension. They decided to grab food at the food court before heading back to their hotel. He was walking with Jeongin and laughing with his little brother when he heard someone loudly telling someone else to watch where they were going in a deep and heavily accented voice that was quite sexy. He turned to look and a man moved slightly and his eyes met a pair of beautiful brown eyes and the world went dark.
Felix blinked slowly in confusion wondering how he had ended up on the ground. The man that had run into him was crouched over him. “Are you ok young man?” The man asked. Felix sat up slowly and shook his head to shake off the confusion.
“What happened?” He asked.
“You passed out.” The man answered. “I didn’t run into you that hard, I didn’t think.”
Felix just remembered seeing the brown eyes and looked over the man’s shoulder seeing another man also on the floor surrounded by people. The man glanced up and met his eyes. {F- What the hell happened?} Felix thought. The other man’s eyes widened. {F- Why does he look so shocked I wonder. Did he pass out too?} Felix thought.
{H- Who keeps talking?} A voice said.
“I was just trying to figure out what happened and if that man passed out too. Didn’t mean to say it aloud.” Felix said not really knowing who had asked.
{H- Did he just answer me?} Hyunjin thought, looking harder at the boy nearby that was being helped to his feet. Hyunjin took the hand offered by Seungmin and got to his feet.
{F- Did I just hear you?} {H- Did I just hear you?} They both thought. “Are you ok young man?” The man who had run into him asked.
“Yeah.” Felix said, shaking his head slightly in confusion. “Yeah, just a little scrambled, I apologize for scaring you.” He said. {F- Are you really hearing my thoughts?}
Hyunjin just looked at him and raised an eyebrow as if to say duh. “Minnie, is he ok?” Chan asked. Seungmin looked at Hyunjin and cocked his head inquiringly. Hyunjin hesitated and then nodded. Seungmin clapped him on the shoulder and he turned to follow his brothers. {F- We aren't going to figure this out?} He turned to look back at the pretty boy and shrugged.
Felix thanked the man who had first run into him and then helped him up. He went to Starbucks and ordered a large raspberry white chocolate mocha with half the espresso. He didn’t like the flavor of coffee but he did appreciate the caffeine. He sat at a table and sent his boyfriend a text telling him what happened. He could tell he had hit his head when he had fallen, it hurt a bit in the back. He rolled his eyes when he received the response of ~K~ {H- K? Seriously? That's how he responds to his boyfriend getting hurt? What a piece of shit.}
Hyunjin was eating with his brothers and looked weirdly at the bite of chicken he had taken. Jeongin looked at him curiously.”Tastes weird. Like raspberry with a hint of coffee and chocolate.” Hyunjin said. Jeongin looked at him like he was crazy. He took the fork and tasted it himself and shrugged.
“Tastes like chicken to me.” {F- Can you taste my coffee?} He heard the voice in his head ask. When he focused he could see the coffee shop the other man was sitting in, as if he was seeing it through the others eyes. {H- What the hell is happening?} {F- I don't know. This is the blond guy, right?} The voice in his head sounded apprehensive. {H- Yeah. My name is Hyunjin.} {F- I'm Felix.} {H- It's kind of creepy to have you in my head. I can see where you are. Can you see where I am?}
Felix followed an invisible tether and could see a group of guys around as they sat in a food court eating. {F- Yeah. You guys are eating.} {H- It makes me really uncomfortable to have you in my head. It's like an invasion of privacy and I already get too little as it is.} Hyunjin’s thoughts had an angry edge to them. Felix reeled back as if he had been slapped. {F- I'm sorry. I don't know what is happening.} Felix thought unhappily, horrified he was hurting someone unwillingly. He hated hurting people. Hyunjin sighed mentally. {H- It's not your fault. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you. I just wish we knew what was happening and why.}
Hyunjin looked at the window he sat beside and Felix could see his reflection. He eyed the long blonde hair and brown eyes, with a mole beneath one eye. He could feel the stiffness of the button down shirt the man wore and the softness of his jeans, well worn. His face was chiseled and very handsome. Felix forced himself back to his own reality and wondered over their situation. He wondered what was happening and was wanting to find a way to stop it. He didn’t want to make Hyunjin uncomfortable. He tried to pull himself back in his mind but didn’t know how to make himself disappear. {H- It's not your fault. You don't know what is happening any more than I do. We will have to figure it out together.}
{F- Maybe I can start looking into that.} Felix picked up his phone and went into the internet app searching. He scrolled and could feel Hyunjin paying attention. It appeared the other man could see what he was searching for.
–Stranger Connections
A little understood recent phenomena has been occurring around the globe. Strangers have been triggering a mental connection with each other. The trigger is unknown at this time though it is loosely believed to occur when the connected pairs are needing something the other can provide. This reporter has confirmed at least two pairs where they were fulfilling the needs between their connection. In a rather heartwarming event one was a foster child needing a home and the connection they made was with a mother who was desperate for a child. She has since adopted the orphan. It is unknown if the connections, once made, are permanent but this reporter intends to keep researching this phenomena. Any readers who have any experience with this are requested to contact me via the email to contribute to the investigation.
{H- Huh. Doesn't happen much I guess.} {F- Or it's too new for there to be much information. Maybe it's location based. I'm heading home soon so maybe it will end then.} {H- I head back to Korea in the morning so if that's the case that would definitely do it.} {F- You are from Korea?} Felix asked curiously as he browsed a store for a gift. {H- You don't know who I am? I thought you may be here for the event. Though I guess that doesn't make sense, I didn't see you in the line.} {F- Nope, I just came to shop.} {H- I'm in a kpop group called Stray Kids. That's what I meant when I said that I have a lack of privacy already.} He could feel the other’s, Felix, he remembered; he could feel his worry over the invasion. Hyunjin followed his brothers to the car and climbed in, putting his earphones on to allow his internal conversation to continue.
{F- You speak English very well.} Hyunjin actually laughed and Chan looked at him curiously. He blushed and tapped his earphone as if he was listening to something. Chan nodded and turned away. {H- I speak very little English.} {F- But...I understand you completely.} {H- I thought you were thinking in Korean.} {F- I don't speak Korean.} {H- Huh, so we are hearing each other in our own language. Interesting. Maybe thoughts don't have a language.} {F- Maybe.} Felix got an idea. He looked at a sales sign in the store he was in. {F- Can you read what that says?} Hyunjin rattled it off. They were both surprised. {H- This is very weird. And quite unnerving.} Felix nodded.
He saw a beautiful stuffie that reminded him of Jacob and with a smile he bought it. He headed home and started cooking dinner. Jacob arrived and came in, kicking off his shoes and smacking Felix on the ass as he passed by. He went to shower and Felix rolled his eyes. When he placed their dinner on the table Jacob reappeared. “Dinner looks good babe.” Jacob said and kissed Felix hard, his hand running carelessly over the back of his head, hitting the sore spot from earlier and making Felix wince. “Don’t eat too much though, don’t want you getting chunky.” The smile fell off Felix’s face and his head bowed a bit. {H- He's an ass. Is that who you are dating? He knew you hit your head and he still did that? And the comment about getting chunky...what the fuck? I didn't look at you long but you were very handsome.} {F- Thank you.} Felix thought quietly and took a small bite of his dinner.
He and Jacob settled to watch a movie and with a small smile Felix presented him with the gift bag. “Happy 6 month anniversary babe.” Felix said. Jacob looked away from the movie in confusion and took the bag, opening it and pulling out the soft plushie. He shot Felix a weird look.
“We are celebrating 6 months?” He asked. “And a stuffed animal? I don’t collect these, you do. So you got yourself a gift?” Felix’s face fell a bit.
“I just thought it reminded me of you and thought you might like it.” His voice got very soft. “I’m sorry you don’t like it. Just go back to the movie.” He could suddenly feel Hyunjin in his head. {H- It's cute. I would have appreciated the thought. He's kind of a jerk. Why are you dating him?} Felix didn’t answer in thought but Hyunjin could hear anyway that Felix didn’t think he was good enough to get better. Hyunjin pondered that. {H- I don't know you, Felix but I don't think that is true. Maybe try seeing yourself in a better light.} Felix actually blushed and Jacob looked at him curiously.
“Aww there is my little innocent boy.” Jacob said with a smirk. “You are so innocent, Felix.” {H- Innocent huh? I can see that, I think.}
“Don’t make fun.” Felix said in a hurt tone to both of them.
{H- I'm sorry.} Hyunjin thought with a tone of regret. {F- It's ok. He says it a lot. I guess I'm a little sensitive about it. He acts like I'm stupid or something.} Hyunjin nodded as he brushed his teeth for the night. {H- Well I guess we will find out tomorrow if this is distance related.} {F- Yeah.} Hyunjin could tell by his thoughts how lonely Felix was. He could relate. Felix was in a relationship and still felt alone. It made him realize even more how rare the connection between Minho and Jisung was.
{F- Who are Minho and Jisung?} {H- They are in the group with me.} He thought of them so Felix could see a mental image of them. {H- We are more like brothers but the two of them are something else entirely. Everyone around them feels lonely sometimes. The two of them are so connected. I get so jealous of their bond sometimes.} {F- I just want to belong to someone.} Hyunjin knew the feeling. He felt that way too. He climbed in his bed and cut out the light. {H- Me too.} He responded softly.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Summary:
Felix and Hyunjin spend some time getting to know each other and Felix learns more about Stray Kids. They are dealing with their own feelings about potentially losing their connection as Hyunjin returns home.
Notes:
Back by popular demand. Seriously, you guys are amazing! The response to my test chapter was galaxies beyond anything I could have imagined. Thank you all so so much. Also it needs to be said that the first chapter being posted is entirely due to Makirasan who is another author on here. During a chat I told her my idea for the story and she encouraged me to write it. Check out her stories, she is one of my favorite authors on here and has become a friend I can throw ideas with and encourage each other. I kind of fangirled when we started chatting, not gonna lie. But seriously, Makirasan, I appreciate you more than you know and this whole freaking story is dedicated to you.
This story is fiction and any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental. I make no money from this. My writings are only posted on here and on Wattpad and is not allowed to be posted elsewhere without my permission. If you like what I write, please let me know. Feedback fuels me to write faster. If you want to be alerted when I update any of my stories follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter and feel free to DM me there if you ever want to chat. All right my lovelies, enjoy!
Chapter Text
Felix woke up earlier than usual and got up to make breakfast. While he was eating, he could feel Hyunjin waking up. As he sat down to eat, Hyunjin put an arm under his head. {H- We've got some time to kill. May as well get to know each other a bit.} {F- Ok. What do you want to know?} {H- Do you work?} {F- Yeah. I'm a medical biller.} {H- Sounds kind of interesting.} {F- Then I'm saying it wrong.} Felix joked. {F- I do get to work from home though so that's nice.} {H- That's cool.}
{F- So you said you were in a kpop group?} {H- Yeah. Stray Kids is the name of the group.} {F- I've never listed to kpop. That's like BTS or something, right?} Hyunjin laughed a bit. {H- Yeah they are Kpop too. Do you like them?} {F- Never listened to them that I know of, I just remembered the group name.} {H- Ahh gotcha. Yeah kpop is a type of group that encompasses pop music, rap and dancing along with vocals.} {F- Oh that sounds cool, so kind of like a Korean boy band.} {H- Kind of but you'd have to see it to understand.} {F- Fair enough. So I take it you live in South Korea?} {H- Yeah we are based in Seoul.} {F- I've always wanted to travel. That must be so cool.} {H- It is but it gets exhausting sometimes having people want a piece of you wherever you go.}
{F- Ok yeah, that part sounds horrible.} {H- I don't mean to complain. I love my job. I love our fans. Getting up on that stage is the most amazing feeling ever. I just wish it wasn't the only reason people wanted to talk to me.} {F- I wanted to talk to you and I had no clue who you were and have never even seen a picture of your group, so don't I count?} {H- Huh. Yeah I guess you do count.} He smiled and Felix could feel it.
Hyunjin went into the mini fridge and grabbed a coffee he had put there the previous day from the fridge. When he took a sip, Felix flinched. {F- Whew, that's bitter!} Hyunjin laughed softly as he made his way back to his bed. Felix took a bite of his muffin to rinse the taste away. They began to work in tandem without realizing it. Hyunjin would take a sip and Felix would take a bite. {H- I'm sorry you are having to taste my coffee.} {F- Not your fault. I have muffins so it's ok.} Felix's sunny attitude had Hyunjin smiling.
{H-So do you live with your family?} Felix looked around so Hyunjin could see his apartment. {F- No, I live alone. Though Jacob stays over a lot.} {H- Why are you with him? He doesn't seem to treat you very well.} {F- I don't know. He's ok. He was my first boyfriend...well my first relationship so he is all I know about relationships. It's not so bad. he has kind moments too.} {H- Felix, I don't know you. I don't know what type of guy would be right for you but I can tell it isn't him. You deserve to be treated with love and respect.}
Felix could see Hyunjin's sadness over his own lack of relationship and how hard it was for an idol to meet someone much less start a relationship. {F- That seems really hard. I'm so sorry. You deserve someone amazing.} {H- You are sweet Felix. You deserve someone who wants to protect you.} They both heard the knock on Hyunjin's door and he went to open it.
"Hey Jinnie, we will be heading for the airport in a couple hours." Jeongin told him. "Chan hyung asked me to make sure everyone knows we are going a bit early to avoid the paps."
"Thanks Innie. I will be ready. Does anyone need help?"
"I don't think so. Sungie has his usual chaos but Minho hyung is helping him." Hyunjin laughed at that. {H- I bet he is.} Jeongin gave a wry smile knowing exactly what Hyunjin was thinking. "At least that's their excuse." He turned away grinning and strolled on to knock on Seungmin's door.
Hyunjin closed his door and headed back to sit on the bed. He stayed packed and organized so all he needed to do was shower and dress. {F- So who is Innie? I assume he is one of your bandmates?} {H- Yeah. He is my maknae brother.} {F- What is maknae?} Then he got the gist of the thoughts. {F- Ahh so he is the baby of the group. So Minho and Jisung are actually a couple?} He could immediately feel the suspicion in Hyunjin's thoughts and the fear that their current situation would compromise his brothers.
Felix was horrified at the thought and saddened that they had to live so carefully. {F- I'm so sorry this is happening and making you feel unsafe. I don't know what's happening or how long it will last but I promise you, no one will ever find out any Stray Kids secrets from me.} Hyunjin could feel the kindness and sincerity in Felix's thoughts and relaxed a bit. {H- I'm sorry. you didn't deserve that suspicion.} Hyunjin thought. {F- I understand. In your shoes I would feel the same way.}
They chatted off and on as they went about their days. They realized that while they weren’t actively thinking about something or paying attention to the other, they couldn’t get the information. Hyunjin knew nothing of Felix’s family or job except what the younger thought about at that moment. It appeared there were limitations. It also seemed like there would maybe be a way to in some terms close the door between them somewhat but they weren’t good at it. Therefore, Felix focused heavily on other things when Hyunjin went to shower, feeling incredibly awkward about it since he could feel everything Hyunjin felt. Hyunjin for his part made the shower as impersonal as he could, not taking the time to relax and enjoy it the way he usually would. He appreciated that Felix was trying his best to give him some privacy.
Felix actually used the time to look into Stray Kids. He looked at their pictures and facts about each member. He came to one he hadn't seen in Hyunjin's thoughts. {F- Who is he?} {H- That's Woojin. He left.} He had a flood of memories and Felix saw everything that had happened. {F- Oh. That must have been really hard for all of you.} {H- Yeah. It definitely wasn't fun times. But we made it through and STAY helped us.} When he had thought about STAY Felix saw all the images of messages and pictures and fansigns. {F- So you guys call your fans STAY?} Hyunjin smiled as he got on the elevator with his brothers to go down to the cars. {H- Yeah. They are our everything.} {F That's so cool.}
Hyunjin was surprised to find that rather than making him more anxious, Felix's presence actually helped to calm him as they went through the airport. Though they had arrived early enough to avoid a lot of the usual onslaught, there were still some determined fans and paps present they had to make their way through. Felix talked about nothing in particular, just how he was trying to perfect baking the perfect brownie; but Hyunjin focused on the conversation and it helped block out his usual panic. A small part of him started to hope this connection wouldn't dissolve with distance. Maybe having Felix in his head wouldn't be so bad.
When they finally got to the gate and could relax some, away from the crowds and people. Hyunjin settled into his seat and scrolled aimlessly on his phone. {F- Is it always like that?} Felix asked softly. {H- No, back home it's actually a lot worse. We have been hurt by people swarming us before.} {F- Oh wow. I bet that's really scary. How do you deal with it?} {H- We all have our own ways. I stay bundled up and usually wear a hat or hood, sunglasses and noise canceling headphones. Chan hyung stays at the back trying to watch and make sure we are all ok. Binnie and Minho hyungs protect us, actually Minho usually stays pretty close to Sungie who has a problem with crowds of people and tends to panic. Minho's presence calms him so he stays pretty close. Binnie hyung is usually sticking close to Jeongin and keeping a close eye on Minnie who stays up toward the front, usually he is fairly comfortable going first.} As he was talking, his eyes went to each member as he thought of them so Felix could connect the voice with the face more than just by thought and the emotion behind the thoughts were so fond of the men he discussed that it made Felix smile. Binnie noticed him looking and came to sit next to him.
Hyunjin took off his headphones. “You ok Jinnie? You have been quiet today.” Hyunjin smiled at him.
“I’m good hyung. Sungie ok?”
“Yeah. Min hyung is looking after him but I agree with Chan hyung that coming so early helped to avoid the worst of it.” {F- I thought Minnie was younger but Binnie called him hyung?} Hyunjin’s lips twitched but he was able to withhold the laugh. {H- Min is Minho and Minnie is Seungmin. I can understand how confusing that is. We all have several nicknames. Like Minho is also called Lino, Rino and Lee Know. They call me Jinnie, Hyunjinnie etc. We all just come up with our own nicknames.} {F- Jinnie, I like that.} “I was going to grab a coffee, you want one?”
“That would be great. Thanks.” Hyunjin smiled at his brother. Changbin got up and patted Hyunjin’s leg. He looked at his brothers. Chan was hunched over his laptop. Seungmin and Jeongin were laughing about something. Jisung’s head was on Minho’s shoulder and his legs were jiggling nervously but he appeared to be calming down. Hyunjin was filled with a wave of longing as he watched Minho rub his cheek again Jisung’s hair affectionately and saw Jisung look up at him with those heart eyes he always had for Minho when the cameras weren’t around (and sometimes when they were). {F- I like them. You all seem like a family.} {H- That's what we are.}
Hyunjin watched as Felix headed into the kitchen and pulled out the ingredients for dinner. He prepped the salmon and the asparagus and popped them in the oven and started the rice. Jacob arrived home from work as he poured a glass of sprite. Hyunjin accepted the coffee from his hyung and thanked him. Drinking it more slowly so Felix wouldn’t be overwhelmed by it. He watched Jacob kiss Felix sweetly. {H- At least it was better than last night.} “What’s for dinner?” Jacob asked.
“Salmon, rice and asparagus.” Felix said with a smile. He watched the smile fade from Jacob’s face.
“Seriously? How come you never make anything good like steak?”
{F- Because you talk about how fat I am all the time.} “I am trying not to eat too much red meat.” {H- He tells you that you are fat?} {F- Yeah. I could lose weight. I know.} Hyunjin couldn’t see him right now because he wasn’t looking into a mirror but he could feel Felix’s body. He could feel the way the shirt hung off him, it didn’t cling the way it would have if he were carrying extra weight. Plus his movements were light and limber. {H- You aren't fat. Not at all.} {F- You haven't seen my love handles.} {H- Felix, I can feel your body right now. Your jeans are riding low on your hips, your clothes aren't clinging to you, you don't feel bulky or clumsy. In fact, you feel tiny.}
Jacob sighed. “Fine, I guess.” Felix could tell he wasn’t happy and his mood dropped. “I thought we could watch the game tonight.” Felix smiled and nodded.
“That sounds good.” He replied and turned to pull the pan out of the oven. He plated the food and carried them over to the table, bringing a beer for Jacob as well. He set it all down and Jacob dove in. “Mom was asking if we wanted to come to dinner on Wednesday after work.”
“I guess. I always feel so judged over there. You know she doesn’t like me.” Jacob complained.
“She just doesn’t know you well enough.” Felix soothed. {H- Or maybe she knows him better than you think.} “She would love you like I do if you just tried.” {F- You just haven't seen his good side yet. He's really stressed at work lately and it's making him crabby. He isn't always like this. He can be really sweet and loving.} Hyunjin smiled. {H- You tend to see the good in people don't you?} {F- Yeah. I guess I do.} Felix blushed slightly and ducked his head so Jacob wouldn’t notice.
Hyunjin withdrew as much as he could to allow Felix and Jacob to have time together. He knew that Felix would still catch his thoughts but he tried to make them as much like white noise as he could. Felix didn’t really care about the game they watched. He spent time looking up information on Stray Kids and pictures of them. He smiled as he watched a few videos. Even with the sound off, he could tell they loved each other by the way they interacted. He wished he had friends like that.
Jacob’s hand started to slide up his thigh as the guys boarded their plane but Felix stopped his hand. “Not tonight, ok? I don’t feel great from yesterday.” He lied. Felix didn’t want to have sex with Hyunjin in his head. It felt awkward. As the plane took off, Felix felt a bit sad at the thought of losing this new connection. {F- I will miss you, man in my mind.} {H- I will actually miss you too.} Hyunjin replied, a note of fondness in his thoughts. {H- Perhaps we will meet again one day. I would give you my number...} Felix could feel his hesitation. He didn’t know Felix well enough to know if it was safe to provide his private number to a relative stranger, no matter how nice and trustworthy he seemed. {F- It's ok Hyunjin. Don't feel bad about it.} Felix soothed. {H- Thank you Felix. Before we lose touch, know that you deserve to be loved by someone who respects you. Don't settle for less.} Felix smiled. {F- Take care of your brothers.} {H- I will. Goodbye.} {F- Goodbye.}
Felix cuddled up to Jacob who put an arm around his shoulders. Hyunjin settled down to sleep during the flight. Felix spent a lot of time that night thinking about Hyunjin, far more than he meant to. Long after Jacob had gone to bed and far beyond when he should have been in bed himself, Felix watched music videos and got to know the group some. He loved the sound of the music. Their talent blew him away. Because Hyunjin was asleep and not actively watching him or because they had lost their connection, Felix found he couldn’t understand Korean but found himself humming the tune anyway. It was interesting and yet made him sad that he didn’t understand it.
Hyunjin was someone Felix could see himself caring about and becoming close to. He honestly wanted the link gone but only because he knew it made Hyunjin uncomfortable. If it didn’t, he would love it. A connection that was open and honest with someone he hoped would become a friend. He began to think back on the article they had found. He wondered what it was they both needed that the other would provide. He finally got ready for bed and climbed in next to a snoring Jacob and cuddled one of his stuffed animals. {F- Is it selfish of me to hope you are still here when I wake? I apologize if I am but I won't be sad about it.} Felix admitted softly and then finally rolled over and went to sleep.
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Summary:
Felix does start to listen to their music and Jacob notices. Has the connection continued? Read and find out.
Notes:
I do not know or own the characters beyond Jacob in this story. Which begs the question, why are the original characters I create jerks? No clue but anyway moving on. This story is fiction and any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental. If you want to be alerted when I update any of my stories you can follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. No I have not stopped writing either Distant Dreams nor Love is A Sneaky Bitch, I'm just inspired on this one right now. Please forgive me. I will get back to them soon.
I post only here and Wattpad and if you wish to post elsewhere or use part of my story, permission must be requested. Feedback warms my soul and causes me to write faster so please let me know if you like what I write. Now that is out of the way, enjoy!
Chapter Text
Felix got up and left his bed, somewhat reluctantly. Showering and going to make his morning cup of tea, he caught only quiet in his head and guessed that the distance had indeed proved too great for their connection. He was sad of the loss and now that Hyunjin wasn’t in his head he allowed himself to feel it as he powered up his work computer and put in his airpods. He clocked in to work and opened apple music and played the latest album by Stray Kids as he pulled up his triage worklist. His head moved along to the music as he worked the first few hours genuinely enjoying the music.
Jacob woke up and came into his home office. “I was planning on coming over tonight too. I miss you.” He said and kissed Felix’s neck. Felix took out his earbud and looked over his shoulder at Jacob and smiled.
“Ok. Sounds good. After I get off work, I will go get steak for dinner, how does that sound?” Felix said and ran a hand over Jacobs arm.
“Sounds great. You know how I like my meat.” Jacob said and winked. Felix laughed. “I’ll see you tonight babe.” He kissed Felix and left.
Felix allowed himself to focus on work until lunchtime. Then he decided to take a long lunch since he set his own hours. He went ahead and headed to the store. He got the steaks, some potatoes and stuff for a salad. On a whim after he paid and loaded the groceries into his car, he went into the music store at the end of the block and purchased the latest Stray Kids album. He headed home and stowed the groceries and made another cup of tea. He opened the album and was excited to find a poster inside. He quickly hung it up where he could look up at it as he worked and after he clocked back in he looked at the picture cards that were included. He had one of Hyunjin! Felix indulged himself to stare into the man’s face for a few minutes. Felix wondered if he had any idea how handsome he was.
{H- Kind of you to think so.} {F- HYUNJIN?} {H- Yep, still here.} Felix felt a wave of joy that they still had their connection and contrary to what he had thought, Hyunjin was happy about it too. {H- Looks like you are stuck with me Lix.} {F- That's ok. It's kind of comforting to have you here. Oh no, was I too loud? Did I wake you?} {H- No. I could hear things when I kind of woke but until I actually woke up it was more like background noise. I'm sure you were screaming or something it would wake me but it seems we have to be somewhat concious at some level to connect.} He could feel how relieved Felix was to not have disturbed him and it warmed his heart. Felix appeared to be a very caring man. Felix glanced up at the poster almost looking at Hyunjin as they talked; as if he was standing right there. Hyunjin looked with him and got a small smile. {H- You got our poster?} {F- Yeah. I bought your album.} Felix answered sheepishly and blushed. {H- You're cute when you blush.} He was slightly taken aback, realizing just how much he was completely open with Felix, he had no option to pick and choose his thoughts the way he normally did. It was a bit scary and somehow liberating at the same time.
They both heard a knock on Hyunjin’s door. “Come in.” He called out and looked up at Minho standing there. “Hey, Min. What’s up?”
“I was going to head to dance in an hour or so.” He paused and thought for a minute. “Sungie wants us to come to the studio to give our lines for that new song he was working on. I didn’t know if you had any other lessons today or not.” He finally said.
Hyunjin grabbed his phone to check his schedule. “I don’t have any classes today. Tomorrow, I have both English and Japanese so that will be fun.” He said sarcastically and Minho laughed.
“Want to work on our next danceracha piece before group rehearsal?”
“Yeah that sounds good. Let me get dressed.”
“Don’t worry, Hyunjinnie, we can stop for coffee along the way.” Minho threw back at him with a smirk.
“We better!” Hyunjin called after him.
{F- You are learning Japanese and English? That's got to be hard.} {H- I do better with Japanese than English but we have songs in Japanese and a couple in English but frequent lines in English so it's good to understand what we are saying.} {F- That makes sense.} Felix hesitated before asking his question but Hyunjin could read the thoughts anyway.
{H- Felix, I know this is a weird situation for both of us. There is little to no privacy between us now. Maybe we need some ground rules. If we can help it we try to ignore the random thoughts and only respond to thoughts like conversation?} {F- I don't know how possible that will be because it seems like anything you think about I catch and vice versa. It would take a lot of work to filter out what you intend me to hear versus what I hear. But if you need it, I will absolutely try my best.} Hyunjin thought it over and agreed that Felix was probably right. {H- Is it going to be possible to give each other any kind of privacy? I mean when we need to...uh...} a thought of masturbation went through his mind before he could help it and Felix swallowed hard.
{F- There has to be a way to shut the connection between us somehow. Like closing a door some?} {H- How would we do that?} {F- Maybe imagine a door?} Neither of them really had any ideas. They both imagined a door between them and tried to shut it. It muffled the thoughts slightly but not by much. {H- We'll keep practicing and can we just not comment on any intimate moments more than we think at the time? I use that um particular exercise to relax pretty often as I'm sure you do too and it is going to be awkward enough.} {F- Agreed.} Hyunjin felt relief at that. {H- Well I better get ready.Well I better get ready.}
Felix focused on his work as much as he could though he could feel the burn of Hyunjin’s muscles as he danced. The fluid movements feeling so good and familiar from Hyunjin and yet so foreign from Felix. When he clocked out, Felix headed to his dojo to work out. Hyunjin was a bit shocked at the flexibility Felix showed. {F- I've been studying for years and have even competed.} {H- That's so cool, Felix!}
That night Jacob and Felix had a romantic dinner and cuddled while watching a movie. When they headed back to the bedroom, Jacob again tried to initiate sex, Felix tried to put him off but Jacob was not really to be deterred this time and he had been extra sweet to Felix that day. {H- General civility is considered being extra sweet?} {F- Shut up, he is being nice.} There was no heat to Felix’s thoughts so Hyunjin knew he wasn’t angry. {H- For a stranger maybe.} Felix felt Hyunjin withdraw as much as he could. His boyfriend bent him over the bed, he didn’t like to have Felix facing him when they did this. He frequently bent Felix over and went to work. At least he always used a condom. While they had both been tested and were clean, that was a rule Felix had. He refused to bareback until he was positive he had found the one he intended to be with forever. The lubed condoms at least provided a bit of lubrication. While his mind told him his boyfriend was the best he was ever going to get, he wasn’t ready to give in to his one rule. {H- He is NOT the best you can do.} Felix ignored Hyunjin’s thought. Jacob didn’t prep him enough but Felix was somewhat used to that. He never really seemed to take his time with Felix and Felix thought it was because he was the first guy Jacob had dated and he never complained.
The beginning of their relationship had Jacob freaking out a bit at being attracted to a guy. He would flirt and then get angry that he was attracted to a guy. It was a rough start but Felix had hung in there and won him over. An idiot could tell you aren't ready, your body I mean. Jacob was thrusting against and inside Felix, He kissed the back of Felix’s shoulder. “Baby, can you slow down just a little?” Felix asked, wincing. If he had been horny or if Jacob had taken a little more time he would be loving this he was sure.
“I’m almost there babe, just hold on, I’m gonna rock your world.”
“Ok.” Felix answered in a small voice. He could feel Hyunjin start to pay more attention. {F- Please.} Felix begged him. {F- Please, don't pay attention to this.} Hyunjin hesitated. {H- Maybe I could make this better for you.} He worried about crossing a line but the couple times he had had sex, at least his partner had cared about his pleasure too. {F- It's humiliating with you here.} {H- Felix, can you feel the sheet brushing your nipples?} Hyunjin said and focused on that feeling, drawing Felix’s attention to it. {F- How are you doing that?} {H- I feel what you are feeling. I am just focusing on parts you aren't. Now feel that rub as your body moves forward.} Felix focused on that feeling and let out a soft moan. {H- That's it. now touch yourself, move your hand slowly down your torso, feel the way the muscles move. Put your hand around yourself and move your hand. Feel how it feels.} Felix let the words guide him and began to stroke himself. Hyunjin could feel it and felt himself becoming aroused. He imagined if he were in Jacobs position, he would be sucking Felix’s neck and Felix moaned louder at that, his body definitely becoming interested in what was happening and feeling the ghost of Hyunjin's lips on his neck. So much so that Felix forgot that he was with Jacob and not Hyunjin. The latter seemed more real to him at that moment. He could feel the way Hyunjin's body was feeling and how he was reacting to Felix’s touch on himself.
“See babe, I told you that I would rock your world.” Jacob’s voice sounded and it jarred Felix out of the daze and he realized what he was doing. He was cheating on Jacob in a way and he was horrified. {F- Please please go away.} He begged Hyunjin. His thoughts were a jumble but Hyunjin understood that this was making Felix feel like he was cheating and left him feeling guilty. {H- I understand.} Hyunjin withdrew as much as he could and lost himself in a new painting to avoid thinking about what was happening in his head.
After Jacob was long asleep, Felix’s thoughts swirled in shame about what had happened. {H- Lix,} Hyunjin thought gently, {H- you didn't cheat. I'm in YOUR head which means I just helped you focus on what you already felt.} {F- I felt you sucking on my neck. I didn't do that and Jacob wasn't touching there.} {H- I'm so sorry my thoughts got away from me then. That was my fault. Felix, you did nothing wrong. Please don't drown in this guilt you feel.} He listened to Felix’s whirl of emotions. {H- I can tell you are a loyal man. I can tell that the people you love mean everything to you and you would never betray them. It was my fault not yours.} Hyunjin had never met anyone like Felix before. He could feel how little he thought of himself. Tonight was a perfect example, he felt so guilty for just seeking his own pleasure as if he was an afterthought to himself. Felix put everyone else before himself and Hyunjin had a feeling he always had. He was selfless, kind and honest even in his thoughts and emotions. {H- Maybe this is why we connected.} {F- What do you mean?} {H- You don't see yourself as the world does. Maybe you needed someone to tell you how you actually are. you see someone with nothing to offer and I see someone who deserves to be loved and protected.} Felix blushed then trying to turn the attention away from himself, {F- If that is what I need, what is it you need?}
Hyunjin thought a bit. {H- I think...I don't know.} He finally admitted, however the rush of thoughts gave Felix an answer. {F- You are very direct with your emotions but you also tend to hold people apart a bit which means when you have a chance to connect with someone you pull back and it makes you really lonely. Maybe you just needed someone to accept you and care for the things you say as well as the things you don't.} Hyunjin thought about that and nodded. {H- That's pretty accurate I think.} He admitted. Hyunjin picked up his sketchbook and began sketching without realizing what he was even drawing. Felix’s face took shape with a somber look. He looked ethereal and beautiful but slightly sad. Hyunjin blurred the lines of his jaw gently with his finger, softening the harsh line. {F- Is that really how you see me?} Felix asked skeptically. {H- You know it is.} He resolved to pay more attention when Felix was looking in a mirror so he could get the freckles just right. Felix smiled. {F- Thank you, Hyunjin.} He yawned. {H- Get some sleep Felix. We will talk tomorrow.} He could feel Felix agreeing and closing his eyes to let sleep pull him under. He could feel what Hyunjin meant. He could feel and hear things going on with the other but it was like white noise when he wasn’t focusing in and Hyunjin was staying kind of quiet. He smiled and slept.
The next morning he was working and watching an old interview with the group. He laughed at some of the jokes one of them said. He couldn’t remember which one it was since Hyunjin was asleep but whoever he was, he was loud but adorable and funny. Felix felt a touch on his shoulder and jumped. He turned to see Jacob behind him and pulled out an earbud and paused the interview. “Babe! You scared me. I didn’t hear you.”
“Who is that?” Jacob asked, nodding toward the phone. Felix blushed slightly.
“It's a group called Stray Kids, I like their music. They are a k-pop band” Felix answered and he saw Jacob’s eyes move to the poster and narrow.
“When did you start liking them?”
“It's pretty recent. I heard their music and liked it so I started following them on youtube and have been watching interviews to get to know them.”
“Why, you can’t understand them.”
“I just like them and there are subtitles.” Felix shrugged. Jacob eyed the poster and grunted. Felix couldn’t tell what he thought. “I haven’t learned the faces yet, but I know all their names. I know a couple of them.” He said hesitantly, not really knowing if Jacob was interested. “That’s Hyunjin,” He said pointing and then he pointed out the other two he recognized. “And Bang Chan and Minho. The rest are Changbin, Jeongin, Seungmin and Jisung but I haven’t learned their faces for sure yet.” He paused. “Would you be interested in watching a couple videos with me tonight?”
Jacob rolled his eyes. “Watch a bunch of pretty boys dance around like idiots? No thanks. Besides I have a poker game tonight so I won’t be over. I’ll stay home tonight.”
“Oh.” Felix said softly. “Ok. Have fun. Drive safe.” He nodded and took one more look at the poster and then left. Felix took a bit to relax again and get back into the flow of work. At least knowing that Jacob was busy meant he could deep dive into their material of behind the scenes stuff on their channel. He smiled and hit play again, watching the amusement on Hyunjin’s face at something one of the others said. He couldn’t sense anything from Hyunjin at the moment and assumed he was still sleeping. He wondered what it would be like to feel them perform as if he were Hyunjin. He thought far more than he meant to about their conversation and what they could need from each other.
Chapter 4
Summary:
Felix and Hyunjin get closer and have some deeper realizations. Felix is beginning to ponder his relationship with Jacob and is becoming more of a fanboy.
Notes:
A/N Hello my lovelies! another chapter for you. Conversations with my much loved author friend has given me so much muse to write so Makirasan this is again for you. I adore you! This story is fiction and any resemblance to the people mentioned is purely coincidental. I post here and on wattpad and my permission must be obtained before posting elsewhere. Feedback is my muse so if you like what I write, please let me know. If you want to be alerted when I update, you can follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. Now hopefully go and enjoy this!
Chapter 4
Chapter Text
The newly connected took some time to get to know each other and the more Hyunjin learned about Felix, the more he liked the younger man. He was the type of man Hyunjin had never even dreamed existed for real. Because they shared their minds, it was impossible for either of them to hide anything or lie to the other or even themselves. Every thought they had was completely shared whether they wanted it to be or not. It took time to get accustomed to. It was an invasion of privacy on an epic scale but because neither of them had wanted this, they didn’t blame the other and learned to live with it or at least beyond an errant thought or two.
Felix had started putting off Jacob’s attempts to come over. He felt bad but he didn’t want a repeat of last time. It was awkward and uncomfortable for him to have sex that way with the other man in his head and feeling everything he felt. Hyunjin understood and talked to him about it some. After a few nervous tries, Hyunjin resumed his usual stress relief activities. He tried to do it when Felix was asleep but wasn’t always successful; during those times, Felix tried hard to focus on something else. They didn’t talk about it outside of those times and other than an errant thought during, they didn’t talk about it then either.
Felix was becoming very curious though. He had done things to himself of course he had, who didn’t? But even then it was quick and perfunctory; he had never lingered to enjoy it the way Hyunjin seemed to. The older man allowed himself to think about what he was doing, he drew it out and enjoyed it. It did relieve his stress in a way Felix’s same acts never had. It made Felix begin to wonder if he ever had truly enjoyed sex. {H- Your body, everyone’s bodies are something to celebrate. Enjoy the feelings and take your time. Learn what feels good to you. You deserve to be wanted, even by yourself, Lixie.} {F- I like Lixie.} He could feel Hyunjin smile at his like of the nickname. {H- I like Lixie too.} Felix gave a giggle that Hyunjin had found adorable from the first time he had heard it.
Felix had caught himself up on all their music videos and had listened to every song. He was working his way through all the shows and behind the scenes stuff he could find. When he had clocked out for the day on a Tuesday, he continued his search for merchandise. He wanted a Stray Kids hoodie and a few hard copy albums. He had an order ready to go but suddenly Hyunjin stopped him. {H- Not from there. They aren’t reputable. Go here.} He directed Felix to the site. The stuff was more expensive on this site but Hyunjin assured him it was quality. It was their actual merchandise and not a knock off which apparently there were a lot of. {H- This is where our family and friends get things.} He hesitated.
{H- You know that you don't have to order anything, right?} {F- But I want it.} Felix said, confused. {H- I meant I could just send you the sweatshirt, it's not that…} {F- Absolutely not.} Felix's thought was more stern than Hyunjin had ever heard it. He could see the swirl of absolute horror that their connection could be used to exploit Hyunjin even in that small way. {F- I will never ask you for anything like that. If I want to be a fan then I should enjoy supporting you and your success.} {H- Felix, you really don't…} {F- Jinnie stop. I can and will order what I want.} That conversation made Hyunjin's respect for Felix grow tenfold. He had never met anyone so pure and that it was genuine and not for show blew his mind. {H- Sometimes I can't believe you are actually real. Everyone has an agenda but not you.} He thought in awe. {F- No. I don't.}
Hyunjin helped him with the order form and rather quickly he had placed an order for their current album’s hoodie. It had cute little ears on the top too. Hyunjin knew Felix would look adorable in it. Later that day after Felix was asleep and couldn’t hear what was happening, Hyunjin knocked on Chan’s door. “Hyung, got a minute?”
“Of course.” Chan said, pushing his laptop away to give Hyunjin his undivided attention. “I want to send out some of our stuff to a friend and I was wondering. He ordered a hoodie from our in house vendor because that’s where I told him to. Can I throw some extra stuff in and pay for the stuff myself?” Chan raised an eyebrow.
“Of course. You know you can have anything and send it to anyone you want.” He paused and looked Hyunjin over, noting the flushed cheeks and darting eyes. “Is there anything I should know?”
Hyunjin loved the way hyung phrased things. It wasn’t ever tell me this or even what don’t I know but always is there something I SHOULD know? He always left it to them to determine what they wanted to share or not. In the beginning it had made Hyunjin respect him right away. “No, hyung.”
Chan nodded, thinking. “Would you like us to all sign some things?”
Hyunjin’s head shot up excitedly. “We can do that?”
“Of course. I can put a halt to his order, we get the kids over for dinner, sign everything and you can send it out tomorrow. You will just need to go to the teams office and pick out what you want to send.”
“Thank you, hyung!” Hyunjin said happily.
Chan smiled after him as the dancer practically ran out of the room. He wondered what was going on with Hyunjin lately but seeing as how happy he seemed, whatever it was, he wouldn’t complain. He would assume Hyunjin was dating someone except that he wasn't on his phone much anymore the way he would be if he were dating. New relationships meant wanting to talk all the time. Hyunjin was hardly ever on his phone anymore, mostly he just stared off into space lately, lost in his thoughts. Hyunjin would tell them when he was ready. He turned back to his laptop and resumed his work.
Hyunjin picked out the sweatshirt that Felix had ordered but added a Jiniret plushie, a lightstick, several of their albums, a t-shirt, keychain with Jiniret on it and a large poster of all of them. He grinned as he pointed out Felix’s order on the sheet and explained what he was doing. Though their manager raised an eyebrow, he didn’t say anything about it. After all it wasn’t like a random guy in Australia was going to be much of a concern of theirs. Hyunjin bagged everything into one of their backpacks and took it back to the dorms.
He set everything on the table and looked into the kitchen where he could hear Minho chopping things. He helped pull dinner together chatting with his hyung as they cooked. Minho smiled and glanced at the door just before it opened as he always seemed to when Jisung was involved. Hyunjin saw Jisung and Changbin make their way in and waved to them. Jisung came in and stole a piece of the cooked meat from the pile. When Hyunjin had done the same a few minutes previously, Minho had threatened to cut off his hand. When Jisung did it, he just smiled indulgently. Hyunjin loved watching the two of them together. It was almost like a dance of a different sort. They anticipated each other's movements and moved in tandem. It was beautiful. He wished they could show STAY but he understood that it wasn’t something they could do. He knew if STAY saw this side of Minho, they would never dare say he was mean.
The kids had dinner together and signed all the stuff for Felix, much laughter occurring as they tried to tempt Hyunjin into explaining who it was for. It appeared Seungmin was running interference and cracking jokes. He was so good at knowing when someone wanted to talk and when they didn’t. They often said Binnie hyung was the core of their group but Hyunjin privately thought it was more accurate to say that Seungmin was.
He was always listening, supporting and giving the members what they needed. Whether it was a laugh, usually at Chan’s expense, or an ear to listen to them; perhaps some advice or even just a meal with a friend. Seungmin always seemed to pay attention and learn their ticks and cues and figure out how to help each of them individually and together. He flirted with Binnie and Jeongin who liked the attention. He teased Chan as his older brother but also always made sure to be polite and respectful when it was time to be. He egged on Jisung when he was hyped up and toyed playfully with Minho. He knew each of them better than perhaps any of them.
Hyunjin headed back to the office and boxed up the order for Felix with a grin. He knew Felix may be angry when he got the order but he was so happy to have done this small thing. He respected Felix in a way he had never respected anyone previously. It was impossible not to when he saw the kind and pure heart and thoughts of the Aussie. That night when he crawled in bed, he saw Felix’s face and smile flash through his mind and smiled. Though their connection had made him extremely uncomfortable at first, with Felix being who he was, it was actually a relief to have their connection. He was sharing himself completely with someone, it was honestly everything he had ever wanted.
Felix was beautiful and kind; loving and loyal. He rarely even looked at himself in the mirror, not realizing his own potential. It made Hyunjin want to show him not only the beauty of the world but also the beauty of Felix himself. If the younger weren’t with Jacob, he could see himself easily falling for the Aussie. He wished, not for the first time, that Felix lived closer. He saw the younger pop into a couple of their lives but with so many people in and chatting, he didn’t have the ability to let Felix know he saw him. He did tell him in his head each time, welcoming him to the live and telling him how happy he was to have Felix there.
Several days later, he and Minho rested after learning a new routine. Hyunjin sweated and was breathing hard as he lay on the floor catching his breath and resting. He sat up slowly and looked at himself in the mirror. Felix looked with him. {F- You are very beautiful but especially when sweaty. I never thought I would find someone sexy when they were sweating but you…you are.} He felt Felix’s shame at the thought. {H- Lixie, you are human. You can’t help thinking someone is sexy whether you are taken or not.} {F- I don’t know if I agree with that, but thank you.} Hyunjin noticed Minho looking at him curiously. “You have been lost in thought a lot lately Jin-ah. Everything ok?”
Hyunjin debated what to say. Felix shrugged not knowing. “I’m ok. Just thinking a lot lately. I’ve always been so jealous of what you and Sung have but especially lately.”
“We aren’t the norm Jin-ah. We were just…”
“Made for each other.” Hyunjin finished and Minho nodded. “I just wish I could find my other half.”
“You will, and you likely won’t expect it when it happens.” Minho said gently. “I never expected to meet Jisung.” Hyunjin smiled, remembering how Jisung had stared at Minho like he was the sun; the most brilliant and beautiful thing ever.
“You may not have expected to but you were meant to.” Hyunjin told him and smiled. {F- Maybe we were meant to meet too.} {H- I think so.} {F- Watching them and hearing your thoughts really makes me wonder if Jacob is the right man for me.} He had been thinking about it a lot lately but Hyunjin had just let him think about it and figure it out for himself. {H- He doesn’t appear to respect you in the way that you deserve.} {F- I thought he was the best I was going to get. Guys that I’m into aren’t usually interested in me. I’m the freak with the girly looks and the deep voice.} {H- You are not a freak. You are a beautiful man, inside and out. Your voice is amazing and makes you that much more intriguing. You deserve a man who treats you with respect and love. If you want Jacob and actually love him then be with him. But if you have doubts and we both know that you do, maybe you should listen to that inner voice.} {F- You mean you?} Felix had a laugh in his tone. {H- You don’t have to listen to me. You are your own man. Thats what I’m trying to say. You deserve to have what YOU want and not bow down to what someone else wants.} {F- I know. I’m thinking about it.} Hyunjin knew that he was. He could tell his thoughts about Jacob had clouded Felix’s thoughts some. {F- Not clouded. You are just making me see things I had ignored.}
“I know.” Minho replied. “We need to get moving. Sungie will need us soon for recording.” Hyunjin nodded and stood up. They showered and headed to 3racha’s studio to lay down some vocals. Felix couldn’t help but hum along. {H- Your voice is beautiful.} {F- Thank you.} Felix was embarrassed by his voice, he always had been but he knew how much Hyunjin loved it and it made him happy and somewhat proud. He was starting to see himself differently than he ever had and wasn’t sure that would have ever happened without their connection.
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Summary:
Felix has some realizations and some intense conversations with people he trusts about his relationship with Jacob, he gets a care package and makes some new friends. He also sees what healthy relationships look like.
Notes:
A/N First of all please forgive the delay, I wanted some things to happen and couldn't figure out the order they were meant to and where to break the chapter up. Then it began writing itself and doubled and suddenly everything was included and this chapter became long and involved. I also beg your indulgence of the addition of an Original couple. I have written about them before though never in fanfiction. Vanessa is a beloved OG character of mine and she was determined to be in this story. She wanted to meet Felix. I hope you love her as much as I do. If I ever write a published novel I guarantee she will be the heroine of it. As you can hopefully tell by my words here, she is very alive in my imagination. Now this story is fiction and any resemblances to reality is entirely coincidence. This story is only published here and on Wattpad and does not have my permission to be posted anywhere else. I put my heart into my writing and am very protective of it. If you wish to be alerted when I update any of my stories, you can follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. Lastly, this chapter is dedicated to my beloved RL friend Jay who I introduced to SKZ (remember when you said you didn't like K-pop lol) and who has begun reading this and my other stories and told me explicitly this morning that she needed the next chapter yesterday and grew excited at seeing Vanessa again. This is for you, my baby penguin, Jay. I hope you enjoy it. Now get to the story.
Chapter Text
"Are we still going to my parents tonight?" Felix asked nervously over the phone and he heard Jacob make that frustrated sound he seemed to make whenever Felix asked for something.
"Why don't you go by yourself? I don't wanna go over there." Jacob answered with an edge to his voice.
"You've been complaining we haven't spent time together." Felix said carefully.
"Tell you what. My place is being painted and tonight is my poker game I'm supposed to host. I'll come with you if you host the game at your place."
"Oh. Um, I guess I could." Felix replied. "I don't really know any of your friends."
"Well you wouldn't be playing anyway, it would just be the guys playing." {H- He's a guy too, you dick.} {F- He didn't mean it like...} {H- don't even think about defending him.} "I'll tell the guys to bring their girls and then you can hang out with them." Felix froze, realizing Hyunjin had been right.
"I'm still a guy, Jacob. You remember that, right? I'm a man, not a girl." {H- Hell yeah! Go Felix!} "I think you forget that sometimes. Or else you don't want to think about it."
"Fuck, Felix take a pill or something, damn. Fine you are a guy. I didn't mean anything by it. You always take everything so personally. I just know you aren't into poker so I thought you would be happier baking brownies or whatever. You always do this. You make me out to be an asshole when I'm just trying to make you happy."
Felix immediately felt guilty and started to apologize but could feel rage coming from his bond with Hyunjin. {H- I cannot believe him. You know this is bullshit, right? He treats you like shit and when you call him out for it he blames you. You just reminded him you are not a girl. That is nothing to feel guilty for.} Felix paused his words and thought over what Hyunjin was saying and he was right. "I'm not going to apologize for being a man or for reminding you that I am one. If you want a girl then be with a girl. If you want to be with me, great. But I'm a man."
"I'll pick you up at 6. I don't want to talk more right now."
"Fine." Felix said in a tight voice and hung up. {H- Felix…} the thought was hesitant. {H- Will you do something for me?} Felix could hear what he wanted so he headed into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. He hesitated and then looked up at his reflection. {H-You don’t do that very often you know?} {F- Do what?} {H- Look at yourself. Do you not see yourself as I do?} Hyunjin took the time looking over Felix’s features. Letting his absolute conviction of Felix’s beauty color every thought. He thought about how Felix’s hair looked like silk and made him want to touch it. He thought about how the freckles were like constellations, equal in beauty like looking at the stars. He thought about how the brown eyes were filled with sadness bad enough to make anyone cry and yet he imagined how beautiful they would be sparkling with happiness. He let his gaze caress the jawline and neck.
Felix felt himself begin to blush but as if he were trapped in a spell, he couldn’t look away. He was filled with warmth at the loving way Hyunjin saw him. The older man taking the time to look him over with such beautiful thoughts as if he thought Felix was beautiful and worthwhile. {H- You are beautiful and worthwhile.} Felix smiled a bit. {F- I’ve never had anyone tell me that. You make me believe it, I think.} {H- Good, you should. Can I ask another favor?} Felix saw in his thoughts again and pulled back out his phone. Hyunjin thought of the number and Felix took a photo and sent it. He could feel Hyunjin’s phone vibrate and saw him look at the picture.{H- Good. Now I can look at that beautiful smile even when you don’t want to look in a mirror.} {F- Why are you so incredible to me?} {H- Because you deserve it, Felix. You are an angel. If Jacob doesn’t appreciate you, find someone who does. You deserve someone who truly wants to be with you.} {F- Thank you Jinnie.}
They spent the afternoon talking about various topics, whatever came to mind while they went about their day. Hyunjin dancing and Felix doing things around the house to prepare for his guests. Felix felt more cared for in those hours than he ever had before. He felt steadier and more self assured. As the doorbell rang and Felix went to let in Jacob he thanked Hyunjin for spending the day with him. Spending time with you is a pleasure not a chore, Felix. Felix opened the door to see a package delivery man. He signed and was handed a rather large and heavy box. He carried it into the kitchen and set it on the counter. He went to open it but heard Jacob honk. {H- Open it when you get home. Try to have a good night Lixie. Yell if you need me.} {F- Thank you Hyunjin. For everything. I needed that.} He could feel Hyunjin smile. The older man pictured hugging him and Felix could almost feel the arms around him and smiled. He headed out to meet Jacob.
Felix and Jacob arrived at his parents house for dinner and the Lee's welcomed them in with hugs. Felix smiled at his parents and relaxed in their presence. He grabbed Jacob a beer and then went into the kitchen to help his mother with dinner. “So how is work?” His mother asked. He caught her up on everything that had been going on at work and then what had been happening at home. He kept his connection quiet and didn’t mention Stray Kids at all. He thought about telling her but who would believe him? It was a crazy story after all.
Felix set the table and called in his father and Jacob who had been watching a boxing match on the tv. Felix was the last to the table, carrying the salad. “There’s my little connect the dot.” Jacob said, referring to Felix’s freckles with a lazy grin. Felix had always hated being called that but never responded, not wanting to draw attention to it when they were with others which was the only time Jacob did it. For the first time, Felix noticed his mothers mouth tighten just a bit at the words. He wondered how often she had reacted the same way and he just hadn’t noticed. {H- Probably pretty often. It's pretty rude.} Felix took his seat without a word. After a few moments the conversation started again.
“Felix what's been going on?” His dad asked, having missed the catch up he had done with his mom.
“Nothing much dad, just working and spending time with Jacob.” He smiled at his boyfriend.
“When you aren’t drooling over that boy group you suddenly love.” Jacob laughed.
“Boy Group?” His father asked and before Felix could answer Jacob started telling his parents all about this new obsession he had with the kpop group. Felix was embarrassed at the way it was being framed. {F- Do I seem obsessive?} {H- Not even a little.}
“It’s just a bunch of pretty boys dancing around and trying to sing. It's really silly of someone his age to be following them but I guess it makes him happy.” This time Felix noticed his father shoot a look at Jacob before looking at his wife.
“Baby, can we talk about something else?” Felix asked softly, trying to change the subject.
“Sure.” Jacob said with a shrug. “I was just giving you a chance to talk about your new love interest.” He took a bite of his food. “I don’t usually like roast but this isn’t bad, Mrs. Lee.” Felix held in an eye roll and ate another bite of his food. He caught the look Jacob shot him for getting more bread. His jaw tightened and glaring right into Jacob’s eyes as ripped into the dense fragrant warm roll with his teeth. Felix noticed how much he was enjoying the food. That hadn’t happened in awhile for him. He had forgotten how much he loved his mother’s cooking and food in general. Suddenly it didn’t seem like a bad thing for him to actually enjoy food again..
Felix helped his mother clear the table and bring in dessert. “This has been so good, mom. Thank you.”
“I always enjoy cooking for you honey.” She said with a smile. “Now have some chocolate cake, I know it's your favorite.”
“Aww babe, maybe you shouldn’t. You have had a lot to eat tonight.” Jacob had never gone that far in front of Felix’s parents before and Felix glared at him.
“I hardly think he needs to worry about his weight.” Felix’s mom said with a laugh and then turned to Felix. “Have all you want honey.” She smiled at Felix and he saw her shoot a side eye at Jacob.
“Thanks mom.” He grinned at her and took a huge bite.
He helped her clear the table after everyone was done eating and when they were alone in the kitchen she turned to him and took his hands. “Felix, I try not to get involved because I know things aren’t always how they seem but I just have to ask. Are you happy honey?”
Felix looked at her in surprise. He started to just say he was fine but hesitated thinking. “I’m starting to be.” He finally said softly. “Momma, how do you know if a relationship is real love or not?” He bit his lip worriedly.
“Well…” His mother said, thinking. “Love makes you feel good. It lifts you up and boosts you. It doesn’t try to tear you down or make you feel smaller or less than. When someone truly loves you, you feel warm and cared for.” Felix nodded thinking about the difference in how he felt with Jacob vs how he felt with Hyunjin. He knew he and the man in his head were attracted to each other. It was impossible to hide your feelings when you shared your every thought and could feel each other’s bodies.
“I don’t think Jacob loves me.” Felix said softly, his heart breaking at the realization finally hitting.
“I don’t think so either honey.” His mother said gently and pulled him into a hug. “You deserve better.”
“I think…I think I am finally realizing that.”
“Your father and I support whatever you choose to do honey.”
“Thanks Mom.” Felix accepted the comfort of his mother’s embrace.
“You ready babe? My friends will be at your place soon for our game so we need to get going.” Jacob said from the doorway.
“Ok.” Felix responded.
“We love you, Felix.” His mother said again and touched his cheek. Felix gave her a watery smile feeling lost in his emotions and thoughts. He followed Jacob out to his truck and climbed in.
They reached his apartment before he was even aware they had actually driven anywhere. Felix let them in and set up a card table and chairs for the guests. Jacob said 3 friends would be coming and one of the guys, Arny who was a new friend for the group, was also bringing his girlfriend Vanessa. Felix set out bowls of chips and pretzels and was just setting out a cooler with drinks as the doorbell rang and Jacob went to let them in. The first two guys to arrive seemed much like Jacob. Crass man's man type guys. They were joking around so much that Felix went to answer the door for the last arrivals.
On the doorstep was a couple. He was a bit shorter than Felix with curly black hair and his arm around a tiny woman who was bouncing excitedly on her heels. Her black hair was pulled into pigtails and had a neon pink streaked through. The most arresting thing about her was her ice blue eyes that sparkled with happiness. “Hi.” Felix finally greeted them.
“Hiya! I’m Vanessa and this is Arny.” She said, her voice adorably cute with warmth and friendliness exuding through. Felix saw Arny look over at her and give her a tender indulgent smile and his heart warmed at the couple. Is this how real loving couples looked?
“I’m Felix. Come on in.” He ushered them inside and led them to the table everyone else sat around. “Please take a seat. Can I get you anything to drink?”
“I’ll just take water.” Arny said. “I don’t drink.”
“Aww man! Seriously?” Jacob said disgustedly. “I thought you were cool and would party with us.”
“You need alcohol to party? I seem to have a great time without it.” Arny replied evenly with a raised eyebrow.
“Whatever.” Jacob scoffed. “Babe, I was hoping you had made some of your brownies.” He said, turning to Felix.
“Oh. No I didn’t know you wanted any.” He hesitated. “Did you want some? I could make some.” He offered.
“Yeah. Why don’t you do that? You love baking anyway right babe?” He smacked Felix’s ass and Felix jumped.
“Ohhh I love baking!” Vanessa said excitedly. She appeared to be a ball of energy that could barely stand still. It was very cute. “Can I help?”
“Sure.” Felix replied and then hesitated and looked at Arny. “If he is ok with it that is.”
Vanessa let out a peel of laughter and Arny smiled at her in a tender smile that made Felix long for someone to look at him with that much love in their eyes. Is this what love was supposed to look like? “She never has to ask my permission to do what she wants.” Arny said softly. “Nessa is a force of her own.”
“And don’t you forget it.” She giggled and then kissed her boyfriend sweetly and turned to look expectantly at Felix to lead the way.
He led her into the kitchen and started to pull out bowls and ingredients. He moved the box off the counter to make room. "What's that?" She asked with a grin. Felix blushed.
"It's a sweatshirt I think. I ordered one but the box is kinda heavy so I maybe got the wrong order. I was gonna open it later."
"What kind of sweatshirt?" She asked with a sweet smile.
"A kpop band I like."
"Oh cool! Arny and I listen to kpop too. What group?"
"Stray Kids." He answered softly.
"Ohhh they are awesome! I hope it is your sweatshirt! I'm sure that will be exciting to open. Maybe I can open it with you after we get the brownies in the oven." She bounced excitedly. "I wanna see." Her general enthusiasm and warmth made Felix laugh for the first time since he and Jacob had gotten home. She grinned back.
"Ok." He said with a grin. He got down to the business of baking. They worked together and once the brownies were in the oven they cleaned the kitchen and he pulled up the box. He cut the tape on the top and went to open it but heard Jacob call him from the table asking for another beer. He held back the eye roll and grabbed one. Vanessa grabbed another bottle of water and brought it to Arny who greeted her with a wink. She blushed prettily and bounced again on her heels. Felix handed the beer to Jacob who didn’t even look at him.
“Thanks babe.” He said. Felix headed back to the kitchen and saw Arny holding Vanessa’s hand and she rubbed his shoulder with the other. Looks like Felix had lost his baking friend. He checked on the brownies. He suddenly heard her voice get angry.
“What the fuck?” She yelled.
Felix ran back to see what was wrong and she was standing where he had left her but she was glaring at Jacob and Arny appeared to be gently holding her back. “Why would you say such a thing about your boyfriend? Thats incredibly fucked up! He is there baking you brownies and welcoming your asshole friends…” She turned to look at Arny apologetically. “Not you baby.” He grinned and nodded his head telling her it was ok and she spun back to Jacob. “And you say that? He’s your boyfriend and you disrespect him like that? What the hell kind of boyfriend are you? It seems like he brings everything to the relationship and you bring what? Your dick? Ain't that good, I’m positive of that.”
“Arny, get your bitch in line.” Jacob growled and Felix saw the change come over Arny.
“Do not ever call Vanessa a bitch.” His face was stoney and he looked like though he was smaller than all the other guys, he could take them all on and win. “She is entitled to think and speak however she wants and honestly if I had known what a dick you were, I wouldn’t have ever come.”
“Then get the fuck out!” Jacob yelled.
“It isn’t your house asshole!” Vanessa yelled back. All five feet of her having no problem standing up to the 6’2 muscular man. “It’s Felix’s house and he is supposed to be your boyfriend and yet you treat his place like it's yours and you treat him like a servant. He is a doll and deserves better than you, I can see that after an hour of knowing him.”
“Get rid of them Felix.” Jacob ordered his boyfriend.
Vanessa turned to Felix and touched his arm gently. “If you want us to go, we of course will. But Arny and I are happy to stay and make them leave instead if you want us to. You shouldn’t be alone with him.”
Felix stared at her in amazement. He saw Arny nod his approval at her words, signifying he would agree. His eyes went to Jacob’s whose own were filled with rage before he looked back at the couple. The way that Arny backed her up and her confidence in her relationship were things Felix had never experienced with Jacob. He had missed part of the conversation so he didn’t know exactly what had pissed the couple off so much but he knew that what he wanted looked more like what they had then what he and Jacob had. Jacob had slowly isolated him from his friends and taken away all his support system. Felix suddenly could see it all so clearly for the first time. He knew that without his connection to Hyunjin he wouldn’t have even seen it the way he was now. “Just go,” Felix said softly. Jacob got a smirk. “Jacob. Just go.” Felix clarified. “And take those two with you.”
“You little cunt!” Jacob roared and moved toward Vanessa and Felix and Arny immediately stepped in the path.
“You don’t want to do that.” He said, his voice deadly quiet but full of the promise of violence in the way that only a person who can back up their words could. “Lay a finger on either of them and I promise you will regret it.”
Felix felt warmth fill him and he realized these strangers cared more about him than his own boyfriend. He gave a tentative smile to Vanessa. “Thank you.” He whispered. She grinned and hugged him.
“Fine. We will talk about this later.” Jacob said.
“Felix, I think we are going to become good friends.” Arny said looking calmly at Jacob making it very clear that Jacob would not be able to take this out on Felix later. Jacob scoffed and he and his two jerk friends left, not before knocking over the table. It wasn’t until they were gone that Felix finally took a deep breath.
“Felix, if you want us to go, we can too but Nessa and I can help you clean up.” Arny said kindly.
“What did he say that set you off?” Felix asked Vanessa.
“He made several crude comments hinting that he was only with you for what you do for him. Then he basically answered one of his buddies who was commenting he never realized Jacob was gay until you and the asshole actually said,” she dropped her voice to imitate Jacob “they all look alike from behind.”
Felix blanched. He had recently begun suspecting that maybe Jacob wasn’t really into guys but he had been into Felix so he hadn’t noticed right away. He was hurt that his boyfriend thought of him as just another hole. “Thank you for standing up for me.” He turned to thank Arny but the man was already picking up the table they had knocked over and replacing things. “You don’t have to do that.”
Arny smiled at him. “It's ok. I don’t mind. Nessa obviously likes you already and she has good taste. Except me of course.” He gave her a wink and it was obvious by her giggle that this was an inside joke between them. The couple wasn’t even touching and their interactions were more intimate than his and Jacobs were during sex. It was rather eye opening.
“Let's open your box.” Vanessa suggested. Felix smiled.
“I’m kind of tired and a bit overwhelmed. I think I can do that tomorrow.” Felix was worried he was imposing on their time.
“Not gonna happen.” Vanessa answered with a grin. “Arny, can you bring the box on the counter in here and take the brownies out of the oven before they burn?” She took Felix’s hand and led him to the couch and plopped down, dragging him to sit next to her.
“Of course Flutter!” Arny grinned and did as she asked.
“Flutter?” Felix asked.
“He says I’m like a butterfly. I bloomed when I met him. I was pretty reserved before him.” Vanessa answered. “So he calls me Flutter.” Arny carried the box in and set it in front of Felix and sat in front of her.
“You ARE my little Flutter.” Arny agreed.
Felix opened the box and pulled the sweatshirt on top out and grinned. “Oh good it is my sweatshirt!” He said excitedly and showed them.
“Oh Stray Kids rock!” Arny said and Felix nodded happily, starting to relax. He looked in the box and was surprised to see more. He began pulling out item after item, his shock and joy growing and his excitement at the autographed items. At the bottom was a note. He took it out and looked at it and a grin spread over his face as he read it.
~Forgive me, please. I wanted you to have these.~ H.
“Awwww! That's so cute!” Vanessa said. “Who is H?”
“Just a friend.” Felix said and his smile grew intimate as he thought of the other man. “A really good friend. The best I have ever had.”
Vanessa smiled at him. “I hope we can become friends too. I like you, Felix. You have a good heart. I can see it.” She said and gestured between the three of them.
Felix looked at the couple and smiled. He could see himself in Vanessa. He could see himself as he could be with a supportive partner. For the first time, he was positive that his relationship with Jacob was finished. And also for the first time, he began to wonder if Hyunjin was his future. “Who wants brownies?” He asked with a grin. Vanessa clapped her hands excitedly and Arny laughed and Felix knew he had indeed made two new friends. No matter what had happened earlier, it was a good night.
Chapter 6: Chapter 6
Summary:
Felix has a lot of thoughts and discovers a side effect of watching the guys perform that is mutually enjoyable. Hyunjin also discovers he sometimes has to take a more firm role with Felix.
Notes:
A/N so here we are again. From here on, check the tags and warnings for the chapters. There are several things in the works that I do not want to give advance warning for until that chapter as it gives things away. So here we are again. As always I do not know or own the characters except those I have previously discussed IE Jacob, Vanessa and Arny (to some extent. He is based on a real person but I'm not going there.) Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental. My stories are cross posted here and on wattpad and do not have my permission to be posted elsewhere. If you see it somewhere else or by another author please let me know. I work hard on my stories and they are my babies are therefore held possessively by me. If you want to be alerted when I update any of my stories you can follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. This chapter is dedicated to Makirasan my fellow author. A special mutual scene in this chapter is completely due to her influence of throwing out ideas and I took it and ran with it. I hope I did it justice! Also to my platonic soul mates Jay and Syd. You two are my loves, my happiness; the best friends a girl could hope for. Our game nights are the highlight of my week. Thank you for loving me, encouraging me and being my friend. Now get to the story already!
Chapter Text
Felix waited for his tea to steep and fingered the hem of his new hoodie. He smiled again at the gift he had received. Yeah he had paid for the hoodie but Hyunjin had made sure he got so much more. It made him feel…he pondered that, trying to figure out how he felt. Cared for. It made him feel cared for. It was a good feeling, one that he wasn't used to. His phone rang and he answered without even looking.
"I'm not happy about last night." Jacob's voice growled. "How dare you humiliate me like that in front of my friends."
"Jacob. Just stop…" Felix lost his nerve. {H- Last night? What the hell did I miss?} Felix ran through a brief memory of the events. {H- Don't even think about backing down! He said that to his friends in YOUR house while you were baking for him and he had the audacity to blame you?} Felix's back straightened. Hyunjin was right. "I know what you said that set off Vanessa and I can't believe you said that about me. I need some time."
Jacobs' voice instantly became pleading. "Babe I'm sorry, really. They were giving me shit over being gay and you know you are the first guy I've ever been with. You remember how bad it freaked me out at first that you attracted me so much. I just reacted. I didn't mean it babe. {H- So it's your fault that he is attracted to you?} {F- Maybe he is right….} {H- Not even a little. Him being attracted to you is because you are an attractive guy. That doesn’t make it your fault. That's a shitty attitude for him to have. It means he can treat you however he wants and just say it's your fault he wanted in your pants.} Felix thought over all that. “Babe, are you even listening to me? I swear it's like you are so checked out lately. I’m here trying to talk and make us work out and you are spaced out.”
“I’m not spaced out. I was thinking.” Felix said tightly. “Why are you blaming me? We are both in this relationship yet you seem to think I coaxed you into this relationship against your will somehow.”
“I didn’t mean it like that babe. I’m just trying to talk to you.”
“I’m not ready to talk yet. I need some time to think.”
“Babe, don’t do this. You know you will come right back and I’ll get mad the longer I have to wait on you to apologize.” {H- For YOU to apologize? Felix, please see what he is doing.}
“If you get angry, that's on you. Your emotions aren’t my responsibility.” Felix finally said. “I told you I need time. If you can’t handle me taking some time to think things through then I can just end things right now.”
“Felix!” Jacob’s tone got tight. “Fine. Take some time. But I'm not happy about this.”
“I’m sorry you aren’t happy but I need this anyway.” Felix said. “I’ll call you next week.” Felix hung up without waiting for a response. He went and got a bottle of water from the fridge and took a long gulp. {H- I’m so sorry I wasn’t around last night.} His tone of thought was regretful. {F- Were you busy? It seemed like maybe you were asleep but the time difference isn’t that big.} {H- I took a sleeping pill early last night. While you were with your parents. It was one of hyung’s and they are pretty strong.} {F- Why? Are you having trouble sleeping? Is it because of me?} Felix’s thoughts began to swirl in panic that he was hurting Hyunjin with his very presence. {H- No no Lixie, please don’t do that. It wasn’t about that. I was honestly scared you were gonna be mad at me }{F- Why would I be mad at you?} But as he asked he got a rush of emotions and feelings. {F- Hyunjin.} Felix thought gently. {F- The care package was sweet. I wouldn’t be mad at you for that.}
{H- You were just so set on not getting things you didn’t order.} {F- I was…but I didn’t want to use you like that. You did this on your own, not because I was asking for it.} {H- You really aren’t mad?} {F- Not even a little. I felt so cared for when I opened it. I felt like someone out there likes me enough to do that.} <{H- I do like you enough to do that. You are a good guy, Felix. You are more kind than anyone I have ever met. I wanted to make you smile.} {F- You did.} Hyunjin could feel Felix’s joy and his relief was immense. {H- I’m so sorry that I wasn’t around.} {F- I understand. You were afraid you had crossed the line and didn’t want to be around when I opened it. That's why you told me to open it when I got home.} {H- Yeah.} {F- You didn’t upset me at all.} Felix reassured him.
He spent the day off and on telling Hyunjin all about the night and his new friends. {H- They sound like good people.} {F- I think they are. Watching them…it made me realize how different Jacob and I are from healthy couples. I don’t think I would have seen it without you though.}
That night Stray Kids were performing live for an award show. Felix tuned in to watch. He stayed as quiet as possible to not allow himself to distract Hyunjin while he was on stage. The show started and Felix was completely flabbergasted by the show the guys were putting on. He watched everyone but soon his eyes were locked on Hyunjin whose body drew him like magnets as he danced.
Felix watched as the man’s hair became wet with perspiration as he gave his all to the dancing. He could feel the loose limber muscles as Hyunjin danced. He could feel how the man was giving every ounce of energy to the crowd. As Hyunjin did a combination body roll and hip thrust, his hand dangerously close to his groin; Felix became more than a little turned on. His mind, automatically conjuring images of what that body could do to him. He tried frantically to think of something else but it wasn’t like he really had control over it. If Hyunjin hadn’t been in his head he never would have known. Hyunjin felt Felix’s arousal and saw the visions Felix was trying so hard to get rid of and became more than a little turned on himself; so much so that he missed his cue and had to rush through the lyrics to catch it up before Jeongin took over. He saw Changbin shoot him a look and blushed.
{F- I’m so sorry. Oh fuck, I’m so sorry. I was trying not to, you are just so sexy. Oh fuck, I didn’t mean to think that. I’m saying everything wrong. I’m sorry. I just. I’m sorry.} Felix’s thoughts were chaotic mixtures of erotic thoughts and humiliation that he couldn’t keep Hyunjin from hearing every one of them and then worse, Hyunjin had messed up his performance entirely due to Felix. {H- Calm down. You couldn’t help it. It's not your fault. We just haven’t learned how to block effectively.} Felix turned off the TV and busied himself doing dishes so he couldn’t distract Hyunjin anymore. When they got backstage Hyunjin caught Chan moving his way and Binnie stepping between them and pulling Hyunjin aside. Chan nodded and moved away.
“What's going on Jinnie? You are usually completely focused during the shows and today you aren’t here.” Binnie asked softly. “Are you ok?”
“Yeah. I’m ok.” Hyunjin shrugged. {F- I’m so sorry.} {H- Stop apologizing.} “I was just distracted. Won’t happen again.”
“It's ok Jinnie, We all get distracted sometimes; it just doesn’t usually happen to you so we…” He changed tact “I was worried.” Binnie finished.
Hyunjin glanced over to Chan who was watching them. Hyunjin mouthed an apology and got a cocked eyebrow asking without words if he was ok. He nodded and Chan nodded back and his attention finally dropped off. Hyunjin turned back to Changbin. “I’m just lost in my head a lot lately, it distracted me.” Binnie touched his shoulder soothingly.
“You know you can talk to us if something is going on, right?” His hyung asked.
“Of course hyung. I’m….I’m not ready to talk about it yet.” {H- I wouldn’t even know where to begin.} Changbin nodded. That was the great thing about him, he didn’t push. He accepted what you were willing to say and waited until you were ready for the rest. Binnie gave him a half hug and moved away. Minho walked by and cuffed him on the head and smirked over his shoulder at Hyunjin. The younger man laughed. {F- They aren’t mad at you for messing up?} {H- Of course not. We are human, we all make mistakes.} {F- They are so worried about you. Is that how you guys all care for each other?} {H- Yes. That's how people should care for those they love.} Felix was still overwhelmed with guilt but it was slightly lessened to know the others weren’t mad because of his screw up.
When they were back at the dorm, Hyunjin shut himself in his room and finally turned his attention to Felix who he had felt crying with guilt ever since the mess up. {H- You don’t have to cry, Felix. Everything is ok.} {F- I messed you up and was fantasizing about you while you were trying to work. I’m such a screw up. I ruin everything.} {H- Felix. Breath. Take a deep breath for me, ok?} Felix took a shaky breath and then another. Slowly he began calming as he finally stopped panicking enough to feel that Hyunjin wasn’t mad at him. {H- I don’t mind that you got turned on.} Hyunjin’s thoughts were wry and had an edge of amusement. {H- It’s an ego boost to have you turned on by watching us.} {F- I was watching you, not them.} The thought popped through without Felix wanting it to. {H- Then it was a turn on to have you watch me.} {H- Don’t apologize for being attracted to me. Shows get our emotions going and we get a rush from it. That bled over onto you and while you were watching so you were getting both sides. It's natural and nothing to feel guilty about.} Felix could feel the honesty of the words and felt the last of his despair leave him. {F- Thank you, Hyunjin.}
{H- I find you attractive too, by the way. This isn’t one sided. It's hard to be in your head and feel how completely pure and loving your heart is and not fall for you to be honest. If you were closer and single, I would completely try to date you.} {F- You would?} The absolute wonder in Felix’s thoughts made Hyunjin laugh. {H- One of these days Felix, you will see yourself as I see you.} {F- What if I was just single but not close by?} Felix’s thoughts were hesitant. {H- Yeah I think even then.} Hyunjin replied honestly.{H- Get some sleep, Lixie. You have work tomorrow.} {F- Ok. Night Jinnie.} {H- Goodnight, Felix.} He waited until Felix’s thoughts drifted into sleep before allowing the memory of the visions to flood him again.
He could see himself fucking into Felix’s while the smaller man was pinned against a wall. Felix had no idea of the attraction he held. While he rarely looked at himself, his heart made him sexy regardless of how he looked and then on top of that he was beautiful. Felix was the total package. It made Hyunjin want to protect him. He had never felt like this about someone. He had been absolutely honest, if Felix were single, he would definitely be making moves. He got aroused again and felt the silence from Felix and knew the other was still asleep. He felt a bit guilty taking his pleasure while thinking of Felix, but he couldn’t resist.
His hand slid into his pants and wrapped around himself with a groan. He didn’t intend to focus on Felix but he couldn’t stop the flood of fantasies. His mind pistoned from one fantasy to the next. Felix on his bed, him on Felix’s bed, pinned against the wall, in the shower; the flood of scenarios wouldn’t stop and he moaned softly. He had no idea where these thoughts were coming from but it was heightening his arousal exponentially. “Felix.” He couldn’t stop the moaned name from emerging.
Felix was lost in erotic dreams of Hyunjin. He could feel the other man’s hands touching him intimately. It felt so much better than Jacob ever had. Then he heard his name moaned so wantonly. It was the biggest turn on. Half asleep his hand drifted down to touch himself. It wasn’t until Hyunjin felt the twin touch and realized Felix was waking up and gasped that Felix finally woke up enough to realize what was happening. His own hand was touching himself but he could feel what Hyunjin was doing. He could feel the other man’s arousal, he could feel the hot hard cock in his hand and Felix moaned. He hesitated and his hand slowed afraid that he was crossing the line.
{H- Don’t stop! Fuck please don’t stop.} Hyunjin’s thoughts begged him. His hand sped back up, unable to deny Hyunjin anything. They moved in sync, lowering their pants to finally free themselves, feeling their own pleasure and the other man’s at the same time. Feeling their touch on themselves and the touch on the other. They were so lost in each other’s head that the touches no longer felt like their own but instead it felt like they were touching each other. Their free hands drifted as if one mind to the chests and teased nipples. Hyunjin could feel the hard plane of Felix’s abs as the smaller man’s hand glanced over them in a pass.
{H- Fuck you feel so good, Felix.} {F- Mmm…so do you.} Felix moaned back. It didn’t take long, they were both horny and feeling each other’s bodies and emotions and thoughts just made it even more intense. {H- If it feels this good while we are doing this I can’t imagine how much more intense it would be in person.} {F- This is…mmmm… more intense than anything I have ever done.} Hyunjin felt his orgasm approaching. {H- I’m close. {F- Me too. Felix’s orgasm triggered Hyunjin’s immediately. They both lay breathing heavily in the aftermath. Felix feeling more relaxed than he had in a long time. Hyunjin closed his eyes, enjoying the boneless sensation. {H- Don’t you dare feel guilty about jerking off.} Hyunjin finally thought. {F- I’m too relaxed to feel guilty.} Felix replied with a yawn. He cleaned himself off and rolled over to fall back asleep.
The next morning Felix didn’t allow himself to feel bad. So he had masturbated, it was a normal thing for a guy his age. He refused to feel bad about it. It had been the single sexiest and most fulfilling event of his life. He hadn’t ever been as turned on as that. All questions about how much he enjoyed sex were put to rest. It had become very clear to him that Felix was every bit as sexual as the next man, he had just had a crap partner who didn’t concern himself with Felix’s pleasure. There was nothing wrong with his body or his sexuality. Even if the rest hadn’t been true, the night before had made up his mind. He was breaking up with Jacob. He didn’t love him anymore and instead he loved himself for the first time in a long time if ever. If nothing else came of their connection; it was worth it for Felix discovering his own worth. That alone was worth their connection and the embarrassment it occasionally caused.
He wanted to linger on the new found feelings, but the day became hectic quickly and before he knew it lunch was long since past and he hadn’t been able to move from his desk all day. He got up and got his third coke. His head was throbbing with a migraine the likes of which he hadn’t had in awhile. {H- You need water and not caffeine. Plus you need to eat something.} {F- I don’t have time right now.} Felix snapped back an unusual edge to his thoughts. There had been some sort of accident and there were several high dollar accounts that needed medical records to be billed. They took forever and because the patients had been in the hospital for so long, the records were hundreds and occasionally thousands of pages long. All those had to be read through or at least skimmed to make sure that medical histories that were sensitive information were not shared. It was the least favorite part of his job but it had to get done. Especially because the bills were so high, they were a priority. Though his day had started with him in a fabulous mood, it had rapidly gone downhill from there. Felix was tense and frustrated. Hyunjin gently reminded him a few times to take care of himself too but Felix ignored him. {F- I have to get this done. I’ll take care of myself later.} It was fairly indicative of how Felix was to be honest. He was forever putting his own needs on the backburner for everyone else.
Hyunjin became more insistent as the day went on but Felix ignored him. His eyes were burning as he got to the last one and his head was throbbing mercilessly. Hyunjin had just reminded him of water again and Felix’s thoughts were far less kind than usual. They had an edge to them Hyunjin hadn’t seen before. He picked up his phone and looked up something and placed the order. He knew Felix was aware of what he was doing but the younger man didn’t comment and he felt relieved that Felix wasn’t going to argue about it. Felix finished that last record and tiredly wiped at his eyes. He turned back to his computer and opened his email to catch up on all he had missed. {H- STOP. NOW. You are done for the day.} Hyunjin ordered him. His tone softened. {H- There is nothing there you will have to do tonight. Go change into something comfortable.}
Felix sighed and stood, his joints cracking at the stiffness from sitting for so long. He went and changed into a pair of soft sweatpants and a warm hoodie. Just as he finished getting himself a bottle of water, the doorbell rang and Felix went to accept the pizza Hyunjin had ordered him, his stomach giving an angry growl at the smell of the pizza. {H- Now sit, eat as much pizza as your tummy wants, drink at least this whole bottle of water and watch something mindless on tv. It's time to relax.} Felix sat on the couch, tucking his legs under him and flipping open the box of pizza to find his favorite kind. He took his first bite and almost moaned as the flavors exploded across his tongue. He was comfortably full after three slices and was on his second bottle of water before the headache started to leave him and his mood became sunny once more.
{H- So I have to order you to take care of yourself, huh?} Hyunjin teased. {F- I’m just not good at taking care of myself.} {H- I’ve noticed. As long as I am here, you are gonna be better about that.}{F- I don’t know how.} {H- Then let me remind you that I share your head. If you have a headache, that means I do too.} Felix was horrified as he realized he had put Hyunjin in pain. {H- Don’t feel guilty baby} The endearment slipped out but Felix didn’t react negatively to it, instead it made him feel warm and happy so Hyunjin continued. {H- We are going to have times we have to make the other uncomfortable for some reason or another but I need you to be more proactive to help yourself.}
Knowing that his lack of self care had caused Jinnie’s discomfort settled it. {F- I promise I will.} His thoughts were firm and Hyunjin knew he would try. {H- Good boy.} He praised teasingly and was surprised at feeling the embarrassment, pride and the blush that spread across the younger man’s face and body. It was a surprise to both of them how much Felix reacted to the praise and Hyunjin filed that knowledge away for later. {F- So do I need to report to the police that a guy I never gave my address to ordered me a pizza?} Felix teased. {H- Sure. I’m your stalker after all.} Hyunjin teased back, happy to see the normal sunny disposition returned to his friends' thoughts. Felix never did turn on the tv, instead he and Hyunjin talked all night. They discussed movies and tv shows; Felix’s friends and family, the rest of Stray Kids; everything really. They only stayed away from two topics. Work and Jacob were not mentioned; and by extension, Felix didn’t mention that he was breaking up with Jacob though his resolve to do so crept through the bond anyway. Likewise neither commented on how happy that resolve made Hyunjin.
Chapter 7
Summary:
Felix ends things with Jacob which does NOT go according to plan and occurs while Stray Kids are live online. What will happen? How will Hyunjin react? What does this mean for Hyunlix? Read and find out.
Notes:
Hello my lovelies! I don't normally update quite this fast but as I have always said, feedback fuels my muse. Because of the wonderful comments you all send and the messages I got yesterday from the twins, it made me want to write and gave me ideas. So as always, If you like what I write, let me know!!! As you can see it does a world of good! I do not know or own the characters in this story with the exception of those I have already named. Any resemblance to reality is completely coincidental. I only post on here and wattpad so if you see this posted anywhere else or by another author, please let me know. thank you. If you want to be alerted when I update, follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
~Can you come by tomorrow night?~ Felix stared at the text for at least five minutes before he finally hit send. The response came quickly. ~of course babe, I’ve missed you and can’t wait to see that sweet ass of yours.~ Felix rolled his eyes. {H- Of course it isn’t that he missed your smile or kiss or arms; he missed your ass.} {F- I know, I noticed.}
{H- So does this mean it is going to be finished between you two?} Hyunjin asked hesitantly. {F- Yeah. I was terrified to be alone but I’m not anymore. Besides I have you in my head.} {H- You know…I have the weekend off since 3racha has a showcase and Seungmin and Minho are doing music core.. I could come visit.} {F- I wouldn’t ask you to do that. Besides, I’m ok. I’ll be fine.} {H- I know but I have never seen that beautiful smile in person and would really like to but if you want me to wait, I will wait.}
{F- It's a long flight for a weekend. Plus what would you tell everyone?} {H- Just that I’m visiting a friend.}{F- I don’t know…} Hyunjin could feel Felix’s indecision thinking he was going to inconvenience Hyunjin somehow. {H- It’s ok Felix, don’t stress about it, it was just an idea.} Hyunjin reassured him.
{F- So you guys are going live tonight?} {H- Yeah, we are talking about our newest album and reacting to some videos and stuff. We do it fairly often.} {F- That's cool. Is it ok if I watch?} {H- As long as you don’t get turned on.} Hyunjin teased him and Felix laughed.
{F- If I start to, I will look at someone else.} Felix teased back. Hyunjin laughed on the inside but kept his face straight because he was eating with 3racha. He did catch Binnie looking at him curiously from time to time but his hyung didn’t say anything.
Felix ate an early dinner and got settled on the couch to watch. He watched the guys gathering on couches to prepare for going live. He watched staffers immediately ask Minho and Jisung to separate and frowned. The two shared a long look the way they always did and then finally shrugged in unison and moved to opposite sides.
When the channel went live Felix clapped excitedly. He watched them talk and laugh with each other. They reacted to one of their videos, picking on each other and laughing. Felix could feel Hyunjin’s love for each man there. The love was deep and full of emotion and history. It was a love of which Felix had never felt. The guys truly were a family. Their struggles to debut and their close living circumstances had bonded them in a special way. Felix felt Hyunjin's love for them and it bled onto him some. He loved them too. He felt close to them as if he were one of them. {H- They would adore you.} {F- I adore them.}
They were in the middle of teasing Jeongin about something when he heard a noise and looked up. Jacob was standing in the doorway. His face was sweet and he had a mask of contrition that rapidly fell away when he saw what Felix was doing. “These assholes again. What is your deal with them? You got a little fag crush on one?”
Felix’s back straightened and he glared at Jacob. “I said tomorrow not today. If I am a fag what does that make you?” He shot back.
“Turn that shit off. It's time we had a little talk. I came over, ready to forgive and forget and find you fanboying."
“I said tomorrow. I’m busy.” Felix said shortly and turned back to the tv. Jacob moved fast and grabbed Felix’s arm and jerked him up so hard Felix fell trying to catch his balance. He felt Hyunjin’s immediate full presence in his head and on the tv his expression had completely hardened. {H- Do you want me to call the police or Vanessa or Arny?} {F- No. He’s a wimp. He will back down.} Felix picked himself up and glared. “Fine. I’ll talk now. We are through. That is the last time you will ever touch me.”
“I’m so tired of this attitude. You changed overnight. You used to be so sweet.”
“You mean I used to just obey. I’m done with that now.” Felix could feel Hyunjin’s jaw ticking as he clenched it tight and locked his muscles down to not react while they were live.
“What the fuck happened to change you?”
“None of your business. Now get out. I’m busy.” He turned to head back to the couch. “And leave your key, you won’t need it again.”
“Fucking bitch!” Jacob roared and slapped Felix as hard as he could across the face. Hyunjin immediately jerked as if to jump up. Minho touched his knee gently. {H- STUPID MOTHERFUCKER. I WILL FUCKING KILL HIM FOR TOUCHING YOU.} Roared Hyunjin in his head. It hurt but he had been hit harder during his years training and knowing that feeling the pain would only trigger Hyunjin further, Felix refused to think about it right now. Hyunjin couldn’t afford to react to his pain on top of the rage that was flooding their connection. {F- I’m ok, Jinnie. It's ok. I have taken martial arts for years, I can take it.}
“You hit like a wimp.” Felix said with a mocking laugh. “You are acting like a child. You have NEVER treated me with love or respect. You blame me for making you gay. I didn’t make you anything. You are at least bi because you are attracted to me and always have been. Get over it. Be gay or dont. I don't care. I am done taking blame and punishment from you and begging for your attention. I deserve better. Now get the fuck out of my house and my life.”
“You will regret this.” Jacob warned, his voice full of rage.
“I regret meeting you already.” Felix shot back. “Goodbye asshole.” He could tell Jacob wanted to hit him again but just as he had predicted, he didn’t want to do it when Felix was ready for him. He was in his heart a coward. He was well aware of Felix’s skills and took a cheap shot when Felix wasn’t ready. It was quite another matter to do it to a martial arts third time black belt while he looked in Jacob’s eyes. As predicted, he backed down and threw the key down and left slamming the door behind him.
{F- Ow.} Felix finally allowed himself to think as he touched the cheek gingerly and realized his teeth had sliced into his lip when he had been struck. He sat back down onto the couch and looked back at the tv as Hyunjin stared right into the camera, his eyes conveying that he was burning alive with rage and his body locked into its current position as he fought to stay still.
{F- I’m ok Jinnie. It's ok. I’m ok, calm down.} {H- No one fucking touches you like that. Not ever.} His rage seethed through their bonds. Felix instinctively sent calm back to him. {F- Calm down, baby. I promise I'm ok and it's over.} He knew instinctively how to calm Hyunjin. {F- I’m single now…} He hinted with a smile. {H- Mmm. Not for long I don’t think.} Hyunjin’s thoughts were still angry but Felix was derailing them as was the calm he was sending. Felix laughed and he watched Hyunjin’s body finally begin to relax and his thoughts began to focus back to his bandmates. Minho squeezed his leg comfortingly and Jeongin put a head on his shoulder. Hyunjin finally felt the last of his anger leave him. He could process it later when he wasn’t on camera.
Once the live was over Felix saw Hyunjin text Vanessa. He blocked his number first for his privacy but he didn’t want Felix to be alone. Lixie was bemused that such a simple thing made him feel so warm inside. One stupid text made him feel more loved than his entire relationship with Jacob had. ~Felix broke up with the jerk. Can you check on him? Please. I need to know he isn’t alone.~ He got a quick response. ~On my way mystery person.~ He smiled. Of course she asked no questions.
He heard a knock on his door and called out that it was open. Minho and Jisung opened the door. “What happened during the live?” Minho asked him, coming to sit next to him on the bed. Jisung stood next to him. Hyunjin shrugged but Minho raised an eyebrow indicating he wasn’t dropping it.
“You got really tense all of a sudden. Almost angry?” Jisung said. “You know you can tell us anything.”
“There’s nothing to tell. I just got a little lost in my thoughts. I’m ok now. I’m sorry that I caused any problems.”
“You don’t have to apologize for anything.” Minho said, “we just wanted to make sure you were ok.”
“I’m ok Min.” He looked over to Jisung. “I’m ok Sungie. I promise.” {F- I love them so much.} {H- Me too. They are my family.} “I’m thinking of going to visit a friend this weekend.” He said and looked down hoping they wouldn’t ask too many questions. {F- I didn’t say you could come.} Felix said wryly. {H- I didn’t ask if I could.} Hyunjin pointed out. There was quiet in the room for a moment.
“Ok. You can probably sneak out on Thursday. You won’t be due back till Tuesday morning. That should give you enough time to visit your…um…’friend’.” Minho said and Hyunjin knew that they knew he would be visiting someone important. “Perhaps we can meet your friend sometime.”
“Maybe.” Hyunjin said and longing filled him. He wanted his brothers to meet Felix. He knew they would love him. He wanted Felix to meet everyone important to him. He wanted Felix to know what it was like to be surrounded by people who cared about him and showed that. People who wouldn’t tear him down for being himself. {F- Maybe someday.}
The next morning was Chan's turn to corner him. "Jin-ah, you know I don't usually ask for details on what's going on but I need to know what happened yesterday. I need to know that you are ok. I thought for a while you acted like you were dating someone but you aren't on your phone texting away so then I thought maybe not." He took a deep breath. "You know I try not to push too hard, I wait until I'm needed but during the live you suddenly looked so angry. It was hard to miss."
Hyunjin looked down nervously. "I'm sorry if I caused problems for you hyung." {F- Me too!}
"Jin-ah, you know I don't care about that. I just need to know if you are ok and if there is something I can do to help." {F- Do you want to tell him?} {H- No, not yet. I’m not ready to share you yet.}
"Hyung…I'm not ready to talk about it just yet. I promise I will talk to you…all of you, when I am ready. I am just having some internal stuff going on and yesterday I got so angry it felt as if someone I really cared about being slapped. People causing pain to people I care about, you know?"
Chan nodded, thinking a bit. "Was it about the staff telling Jisung and Minho to split up?" Chan guessed, knowing that bothered all of them every single time.
Relieved he had an excuse he nodded. "Yeah, that really agitated me. I mean they love each other and the staff separates them like they are bad for each other. It isn't like one of them is abusive." {H- Like Jacob is.} {F- I heard that.}{H- Sorry. It slipped out.}He tuned back in to Chan to see him watching Hyunjin with his head slightly cocked as if he wasn't quite buying it.
"Look hyung. I promise I will talk to you when I'm ready." Chan finally nodded.
"Min says you are going to visit a friend this weekend." Chan said, tone carefully blank.
"Yeah." Hyunjin blushed. "I was thinking about it. I'm not sure he wants me to come though…" He looked up through his lashes at Chan to see how he took the "he" part while Felix made a sound of derision and then laughed. {F- We both know you are coming.} Chan ran a hand through his hair and sat back, eyes masked of emotion.
"Are you taking security?"
"No. I'm flying under the radar. I plan to stay at his place all weekend so I won't be seen." {F- Just invite yourself why don't you.} Felix teased.
Chan nodded. "Do I know him?" He asked softly.
"No."
"Can I ask where you are going?"
"No…I'm not…we aren't…we are just friends." {H- For now.} He added silently. He could feel the emotions Felix had at those words. Excitement, anticipation and a little fear as well. {H- I won't hurt you Lix.} {F- You can't promise that. Just promise to try not to.} {H- I promise.}
"If you won't tell me who he is and where you are going and you aren't taking security then I at least insist you leave his number for me just in case." Chan said, stern faced that allowed for no argument. {F- It's ok Jinnie, give him my number. I understand.}{H- Are you sure?} {F- Positive. It's fine. He's worried about you and if my number resolves that then it's worth it.} Hyunjin nodded and wrote down the number but didn't put a name on it.
"I'm planning on catching a flight on Thursday and I'll be back Tuesday." Hyunjin realized he messed up when he said flight. Chan's eyebrows rose and he looked at the number. They could both tell he recognized the Australian international code at the beginning of the number. Finally he nodded.
"OK. Be careful."
"I will hyung. Thank you." Hyunjin stood up and hugged his brother quickly before leaving.
Chan allowed Hyunjin half an hour to warn his friend that he had given the number to Chan before their leader sent a text.
~This is Chan, Hyunjin's big brother. Please take care of him this weekend. Call me immediately if there are any problems. And text me a picture of him at least once a day so I know he is ok.~ he sent the message in both Hangul and English hoping he was doing the right thing.
Felix laughed as he and Hyunjin read the message. {H- I can't believe him! I'm a grown man.} Felix giggled happily. {F- He's just worried about you and doesn't know if I'm a murderer. I could be, you know. Maybe this was my plan all along.} Felix teased. {H- Ah but I've been inside your head Lix. There are kittens and puppies and brownies and self doubt but not an ounce of murderous rage.}
~Hi Chan! I'm Felix.~ {H- Don't introduce yourself. It will drive him nuts not knowing.} {F- Ok.} He deleted it and restarted the text. ~Hi Chan! 😁 I have heard all about you so much! I feel like I know you. I promise I will keep him safe and send daily updates. He is more precious to me than you know. ~ Felix sent the reply. {H- Precious huh?} {F- Nah just trying to lull him into a false sense of security before I mannap you and force you to become my butler, un-paid of course.} Hyunjin burst into laughter at that. {H- Mannap?} {F- Well you aren't a kid.}
Chan read the words and smiled. The mystery man hadn't given his name but at least he knew that the man on the other end of the phone cared about Hyunjin. That was enough for now.
Hyunjin ate with his younger brothers that night and had a wistful smile on his face as he watched Vanessa hanging out with Felix and giggling over movies together. Felix was safe and cared for and he was having fun.
Hyunjin loved Vanessa already. He watched as she complained that she hadn't been there to whack Jacob. She bounced to her feet and mimed punching someone in the cutest way.
It was clear she had never fought but it was hard not to adore her with her boxing the air and bouncing around like it was a prize fight. He laughed and when Seungmin looked curiously at him he just shrugged. "Thinking about the movie I watched last night." He threw in.
{F- Isn't she great?}
{H- Lix, she is kind of the woman version of you.}
Seungmin nodded and looked away again.
{F- She is way too cute to be woman version of me.}
{H- One of these days Lix, you will see yourself as I do.}
Chapter 8: Chapter 8
Notes:
A/N I do not know or own Stray Kids, all other characters are my own creation. Any resemblance to real people is coincidental. If you would like to be alerted when I update any of my stories, please follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. I am trying to update my other stories as well but am not sure exactly where to take them, particularly Distant Dreams so if you have any ideas or things you would like to see in the story/stories, please feel free to message me. I can't guarantee I will use any thoughts or ideas but am always happy to toss ideas. It gets my muse moving when I'm stuck as I am with Distant Dreams. I only post here and on Wattpad; if you see my work posted anywhere else please alert me. As always, thank you to my amazing readers for your incredible feedback and love for my stories. They mean far more to me than you will ever know. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
Chapter 8
The week moved quickly for both of them. Felix worked extra during the week so that he could take a half day on Thursday and take most of Friday though he did have a morning meeting he would have to attend online but it would only be a couple hours. He watched Hyunjin get his plane ticket with a smile. He had butterflies in his stomach at the thought of actually seeing him in person. He had nerves about it somewhat. It was intense to know their very first in person conversation was going to take place while Hyunjin was staying with him for a whole weekend. But he had heard every single thought Hyunjin had had for a while now. {H- You literally know me better than anyone else. Don’t be worried. You see me more clearly than anyone else ever has.} {F- I know. It's just nerves. I know you would never do anything I don’t want you to. I do worry some though about moving too fast after I just broke up with Jacob.} {H- I can understand that. I have no real expectations, Lix, Whatever happens is what happens. I just want to spend time with you and actually see your facial expressions instead of just feel them cross your face.}He could feel Felix’s joyful smile at that. {F- Our one downfall. We can’t actually see each other.}{H- True.}
Wednesday night had Felix hanging out with Vanessa again. They were dancing around the kitchen and cooking dinner for Arny who would be by after he got off work. “You are in a really good mood.” Vanessa told him with a grin and bumped his hip with her own. “You looking forward that much to our movie night?”
“I’m just in a good mood.” Felix hedged.
“Would that have anything to do with you being lost in thought all week?” She asked with a sly grin. {F- What do you want me to tell her?} {H- I don’t know. I like her but I’m not sure how much to trust her just yet.} {F- It’s ok, Jinnie. I won’t tell her anything you don’t want me to.}
“I’m having a….a friend…a really good friend come to visit.” Felix finally answered.
“Oh.” Vanessa said with a raised eyebrow. “How long will they be here?”
“All weekend.” Felix said and blushed.
“Ohhhh. So a great weekend planned.” She teased and then gave him a spontaneous hug. “I’m happy for you, Felix. You deserve so much happiness.” The doorbell rang and she grinned and bounced over to let in her boyfriend. The three of them had a bunch of laughter and some great food. Felix adored his new friends. Arny was quiet but funny and so protective and loving toward Vanessa. It really made Felix want a relationship like that. He couldn’t deny he was attracted to Hyunjin but he didn’t know if that's where this was headed or not. But he couldn’t help but to compare how Hyunjin would be as a boyfriend. He knew he would be amazing. He was honest, kind, loving and respectful. Felix hadn’t had any good experiences with relationships since Jacob was his first. {H- Being friends and caring is the most important thing. We already have that. Whatever we end up as, is ok. I just want you in my life.} Felix smiled a gentle smile. {F- I want that too.}
“So do we get to meet your friend?” Arny asked with a bit of a playful smirk. Vanessa laughed.
“Uh…we want to keep this visit with just us so not this time. Maybe next time.” Felix replied worried they would be offended. Instead Arny grinned and Vanessa clapped happily.
“Ahhh so some precious alone time.” Arny winked at him. “Then we wish you a wonderful weekend and I’ll keep this one from blowing up your phone.” He teased Vanessa who started laughing again.
The next morning Felix clocked in extra early, he hadn’t been able to sleep much. He watched Hyunjin sneak out and get onto the plane without any attention drawn to him. {F- Have a safe flight.} {H- I will. I’ll see you tonight.}
After work, Felix went about his afternoon cleaning his house and showering. He put fresh sheets on the bed and blushed as he wondered if they would share it. {H- Only if you want us to. }When he saw that it was an hour to his flight landing, he grabbed his keys to head to the airport. {H- Don’t. I’ll catch an uber. Don’t worry about picking me up.}Felix could see how much Hyunjin needed their first meeting to be private. He didn’t want to draw attention to his presence and if all he could do was stare in wonder at the younger man that was more likely. Felix understood the thoughts and knew it wasn’t a negative thing that he didn’t want Felix to pick him up though he didn’t understand why Hyunjin just thought he would stare at Felix in wonder. {F- Ok. I’ll just wait here then.}
Felix saw Hyunjin stop by a store and make a purchase with a smile and then grab his bag at the baggage claim and head to meet the uber he ordered. Felix couldn’t keep still. He finally watched a couple videos to pass the time. His brain was racing as he watched the uber get closer and closer to him. When it finally pulled up in front of his apartment, he headed to the bathroom to check his appearance one last time. He saw Hyunjin approaching his door and went to open it. He found Hyunjin leaned against the doorframe holding out the rose he had bought at the airport for Felix.
“You’re really here.” Felix said and blushed looking down, suddenly a bit shy.
“Can I come in?” Hyunjin asked, ducking his head slightly to try to meet Felix’s eyes.
“Of course.” Felix said and stepped back. Hyunjin stepped into the apartment and looked around. It was different seeing it with his actual eyes instead of through Felix’s and Felix was getting a strange double seeing everything through his eyes and Hyunjin’s. It was different.
“Can I hug you?” Hyunjin asked softly.
“Of course!” Felix said with a grin.
Hyunjin dropped his bag and moved closer. They nervously moved into each other's arms but the second Felix was folded into Hyunjin’s arm he felt like he was home. They both sighed at the rightness they felt from the embrace. Feeling the embrace from both sides was the most comforting sensation. They stood like that for a long time in silence, just enjoying the feeling. Without conversation they moved to put Hyunjin’s bag in the bedroom and Felix gave Hyunjin a tour of the small apartment. When he saw the poster on the wall of the office Hyunjin smiled. “I love that you hung this up right where you look.”
“I want you in eyesight.” Felix teased. He got one of Hyunjin’s coffees out of the fridge and brought it to him and they settled down on the couch, not cuddling but not sitting too far apart.
“I like hearing your voice. It’s deeper in real life than in here.” Hyunjin said, tapping his head.
“Is there anything you want to do this weekend?” Felix asked as Hyunjin toyed with the tips of the younger man's hair with his fingers.
“I just want to spend time with you. I don’t care what we do.” Hyunjin answered with a smile.
“Well let's get this out of the way.” Felix said with a laugh. He pulled out his phone and took a picture of Hyunjin sitting on the couch grinning at him with Felix’s hand touching his arm in view of the picture.
~He has arrived safely and is in good hand.~ Felix texted Chan. {H- That was cute, almost as cute as you.} Felix grinned.
~In hand? That's a cute pun. Take care of our Hyunjinnie. He is precious to us.~
~I will~
He relaxed and with a slight hesitation, put his head on Hyunjin’s chest, cuddling close. {F- Is this ok? }{H- Of course it is.}Hyunjin wrapped his arm around Felix. {F- This feels so…right.}{H- Yeah it really does. You are so much smaller than I realized. Almost tiny.{He compared their hands and Felix jokingly hit him.
They relaxed and talked about nothing in particular. Felix told Hyunjin about growing up and Hyunjin told Felix about getting street casted as an idol. {F- Not a surprise, you are gorgeous.} {H- You are biased}. {F- Maybe but still true.} They played with each other's fingers as they talked, slipping easily between thought and verbal and enjoying being able to freely touch.
Around dinner time, Felix got a text from Vanessa. ~dropped something at your door. Have a great weekend.~ with a bemused smile Felix went to look and found a basket. He brought it in and set it down. He opened it and pulled out Tupperware containers of still warm parma and several kinds of snacks. A store bought pavlova and a bottle of wine. He smiled at the thoughtfulness of his friend.
~thank you! You didn't have to do that.~
~I know. I wanted you to enjoy your time together and not have to worry about cooking at least one meal. Hope they aren't vegetarian. I forgot to ask~
~He is. He is horribly disgusted now and packing to leave. All your fault.~ Felix teased back.
~shut up brat 😜 You should be glad you are adorable and I like you.~ That made both men laugh.
Hyunjin blocked his number again and then texted her. ~thank you, we both appreciate it.~
~ahhh so the mystery guest is the mystery text person. The plot thickens. Just know if you hurt our Felix in any way you will have me to deal with and I'm scary.~ Hyunjin laughed at her warning.
~message received.~ He replied. “Being able to understand English when you are awake is very helpful.” Hyunjin said with a grin.
They sat to eat and continued chatting. Now that the nerves were wearing off they felt comfortable with each other. Hyunjin smiled as he watched Felix excitedly talking about League of Legends and sitting up on his heels, eyes sparkling with happiness. Then his words tapered off and slowed. {F- Shit. I'm boring him and talking about childish things. I probably seem like an immature kid.} He couldn't stop the fears from crossing his mind. Hyunjin touched his hand softly.
"Lixie, you don't ever have to be anyone different with me. I like you exactly as you are. You aren't childish, you are full of life. You aren't boring. You are fun, beautiful and intriguing." Hyunjin touched his face gently. "Lix, I want to know all of you, but only as you are and want to be." Felix's eyes met his and looked deeply seeking any ounce of deception.
"You really like me just as I am?" Felix asked softly and bit his lip nervously.
"Very much." Hyunjin replied with a fond smile.
"I've never had someone accept me just as I am and like me without wanting me to change." Felix said softly.
"You are perfect." Hyunjin replied. "You deserve to be wanted and cared for just as you are."
"Thank you." Felix dropped his eyes to Hyunjin's lips. "Jinnie, I don't know what I'm ready for between us." Inside his thoughts were whirling around Hyunjin.
"It's ok Lix, whatever you are comfortable with."
"Do you even..um…want me like that?"
"Lix, you know I do." Hyunjin said gently. "You hear my every thought. You know how attractive I find you and how fond I am of your beautiful heart. I like you not for this," He gestured to all of Felix. "But because of this," he touched Felix's chest over his heart. "And this." He touched Felix's temple. "Baby, I definitely want you and desire you but I am willing to wait however long you need. You are worth that." He caressed Felix's cheek and the younger man leaned into the touch.
"Then can I ask for something?"
"You don't have to, I can read your mind." He leaned forward slowly and cupped Felix's face in his hands and gently kissed him. He took his time with the kiss, allowing Felix to get his bearings and feel the feelings. It was a different sensation than any kiss either had experienced. Being in their own heads as well as each other’s had them both reeling at the stimulation. They could feel the others lips moving against their own but also from the other they could feel what kind of kisser they were themselves. Every feeling, taste, smell and sound was multiplied; and the emotions…they were multiplied too. Hyunjin had a fleeting thought of wondering if that meant arousal would be multiplied as well. Felix heard the thought and moaned in his mind. {F- I'll erupt in flames if that's the case.}.
When Hyunjin heard Felix's thoughts swirling with pleasure and want, he deepened the kiss, gently licking at his lips and Felix opened for him immediately. {F- This? This is what kissing is supposed to be like? I've been missing out!}{H- This is so much better than anything I could have imagined.}
Hyunjin didn't touch Felix aside from gently holding him. Felix on the other hand had the older man's shirt clenched in his fingers trying to pull him closer. Felix's thoughts began to beg for more but instead Hyunjin pulled back and gave him one more peck as he pulled away and touched Felix's hands gently. {H- There's no rush baby. Your last lover didn't take the time to make sure you enjoyed it. I want you to enjoy every moment and that means not rushing into it. I want you 100% on board and even though you are wanting it, I still hear the fear you are hiding in those thoughts.}
"Jinnie! If we wait until I have no fear we will never get anywhere." Felix whined and Hyunjin laughed. Felix pouted and Hyunjin tapped his nose with a finger. {H- Relax my Lixie, we have all weekend and longer if we need it.}{F- Fine then can I at least get snuggles?}{H- All the snuggles you want.}
They got ready for bed and shyly climbed in together. Felix curled into Hyunjin who wrapped his arms around the younger man. {F- Jinnie, is there more to waiting?} {H- Yeah. You give everything of yourself without stopping to question what YOU want. I want you to take your time and think about YOUR wants and needs. I’m here for you no matter what we turn into. Whether we are friends, lovers or more; I’m right here. You get to decide what we are.} {F- But I already decided.} Felix argued back. {H- No you didn’t. You are just giving in to me and what you think I want. You are important too, Lix. }Felix was awake for a long time pondering Hyunjin’s words. Is that what he was doing? Just giving in to what those around him wanted? If so, what was it that he actually wanted? Did he want Hyunjin or did he think he was supposed to?
{H- Stop thinking so hard, Lix. Just relax and be. It doesn’t have to be figured out tonight. We have as long as you need to know for sure.} He kissed the top of Felix’s head and stroked his back gently. Felix finally tried his best to put it out of his mind and closed his eyes. Hyunjin began humming softly to allow Felix to focus on that instead of his thoughts. It worked and Felix relaxed and finally fell asleep. Hyunjin smiled and settled in to sleep as well. Here, in Felix’s bed, surrounded by his scent and touch felt better than any place he had ever been in his life. Hyunjin would wait forever if it meant Felix would know exactly what he wanted and have no doubts.
Chapter 9: Chapter 9
Summary:
Felix and Hyunjin spend their first day together at Felix's and learn that someone may be paying attention to that...
Notes:
A/N Hello my lovlies! The latest chapter. Sorry It took a few days, it has been a busy week and I haven't had time to write, much to my dismay. This story is fiction, any resemblance to reality is completely coincidental. I do not know or own the people these characters are based on with the exception of those mentioned in previous chapters. If you want to be alerted when I update any of my stories (or if you want to chat about SKZ or my stories) follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. Feedback feeds my muse so please let me know if you like what I write! My stories are cross posted here and AO3 but nowhere else if you see it elsewhere please let me know. As always my beautiful readers, this is for you. To the three friends who I chat with about this story, you know who you are; know that without you none of this would be possible. You inspire me every day. I adore you. Enjoy.
Chapter Text
Hyunjin woke up to feel Felix nuzzling at the back of his neck. {H- Good morning.} {F- Good morning.} {F- I gotta clock in but I didn’t want you to wake up with me gone.} {H- No problem baby. Go work and sit in your meeting.} {F- Afterwards, you want to run to the store with me? I figured we could go pick up some snacks and whatever you want for dinner.} His lips kissed Hyunjin’s neck as they talked. {H- This is convenient that we can talk even while your lips are busy.} {F- Very.} {H- But yeah that sounds good. I’ll have to wear a disguise to be safe though.} {F- That's fine. I’ll come wake you after my meeting.} {H- Ok baby.} Felix pulled him tighter for just a moment and then let him go and went to grab an energy drink before clocking in. He logged in to the meeting at the top of the hour and immediately muted his mic. He took notes and paid attention since there were going to be some changes in his department. He chimed in only when he had a question and otherwise stayed focused.
Jinnie came in about halfway through but Felix was on camera so he couldn’t look very much. {F- I’m on camera so don’t come over.} {H- I won’t. I’m just going to sit over here and draw.}
Hyunjin settled into the arm chair next to Felix’s bookshelf and pulled out his sketchpad and started sketching Felix. They worked on their own thing in silence for an hour. When the meeting finally ended Felix sighed and turned off his camera. “I’m sorry that took so long.” Hyunjin looked up and smiled.
“It's ok. You had a meeting. I get it.”
Felix looked through Hyunjin’s eyes. “You are drawing me?”
“Drawing the most beautiful thing here. Is that you?” He grinned. Felix blushed.
“I’m hardly that…”
“Shush. I will compliment you if I want to. And I think you are so that's what matters to the artist.”
“Why are you so incredible to me?” Felix asked shyly.
“You make it easy.” Hyunjin replied with a smile.
They got ready for the day together and Hyunjin dressed in sweats and a tshirt and put on a backwards hat and sunglasses and tucked his hair under the hat. They headed out holding hands and went to the store laughing as they picked out their snacks together. When they arrived back at home, they settled onto the couch reading comfortably together. When his phone rang that afternoon he answered his mom’s call. “Hey Mom.” He said with a smile.
“Felix are you ok?” Her worried tone asked him.
“Of course mom, I’m fine. Why?”
“Jacob called and said a man was holding you hostage.” Her voice sounded almost frantic.
“He did what?” Felix yelled sitting bolt upright. Hyunjin sat up too and took Felix’s hand as he listened to the conversation.
“He said some man had you captive in your house since yesterday.” {H- Since yesterday? Since I got here. That means he is watching you.} Felix was thoroughly creeped out to know that Jacob was watching him. {F- What the fuck?}
“Mom, I broke up with Jacob last week the night we ate with you.” Felix said, trying to calm her. “He doesn’t know anything about what I’m doing.”
“But he seemed so sure…” His mother said worriedly.
“Mom, seriously I’m fine.” Felix gave a laugh.
“So no one is with you?”
“Well…I uh….the truth is I have a friend visiting. Jacob must have seen us together.”
“A friend?”
“Yeah, just a friend.” {F- Good friend.}. Hyunjin laughed silently at that.
“Then bring your friend for dinner. Tonight.” His mother insisted.
“Mom, he came a long way to see me, we kind of want to be alone.” Felix hedged and looked over at Hyunjin who was looking at him with an amused smile.
“I need to know that nothing Jacob said is true. He said the man hit you.”
Felix laughed at that. “Definitely not true. Quite the opposite.”
“I insist.”
“Moooom.” Felix whined and Hyunjin laughed out loud.
“Is that your friend I hear?”
“Yes. That’s him. Mom he’s…he’s kinda….” he couldn’t figure out how to tell her Hyunjin couldn’t be seen. {H- It’s ok. We can go.} {F- Are you sure?} {H- It’s important to her to know that you are ok and apparently it's important to tell her what happened with Jacob. I just hope she likes me.} “Ok. We’ll be there at seven.” He finally relented. “But mom, he’s…” {F- important to me.}“he’s…just be really nice, ok?”
“Of course.”
After they hung up he looked at Hyunjin. “Are you sure about this? I can go by myself or make an excuse.”
“Lix, it's ok. I want to meet your parents. To thank them for this amazing man they produced.”
Felix immediately came over and hugged him, sitting in his lap and snuggling into him. “You are the amazing one.” He whispered. “You always know how to make me feel like I’m ten feet tall and invincible.” {F- And loved.} Hyunjin didn’t reply, he just kissed the top of Felix’s head and held him close. {H- I am concerned that the jerk is watching you though.} {F- I am too.}
They got ready for dinner together and left the house holding hands. Felix let them into his parents and led Hyunjin to the kitchen where his mother was cooking. He didn't let go of Hyunjin's hand. "Momma?" He said softly.
"Felix." She welcomed him with a smile and turned to look Hyunjin over. He immediately bowed low to her and her eyebrow went up. "Introduce me to your…friend." She said, eyes taking in the fact that Felix hadn't let go of his hand.
"Felix, son! We were worried after Jacob's call." His father said entering the Kitchen behind them. Hyunjin immediately bowed low to him as well and Mr. Lee staggered to a halt in surprise.
"Momma, Dad; this is Hwang Hyunjin, my friend."
"Hyunjin, it's nice to meet you." His mother said.
"Thank you ma'am." Hyunjin replied. Thank the lord for their connection which allowed him to understand their English and speak it in return. "I appreciate your having me over."
"Your accent…" She said hesitating. "Are you from Seoul?"
"Yes ma'am."
"How did you two meet?" Mr. Lee asked.
"At the mall." Felix said with a slight blush and Hyunjin laughed.
"We sort of ran into each other when I was here and have been talking ever since."
"Oh." His father said, eyebrows going up as well. "And Jacob?"
"I'll tell you about it during dinner. But I didn't cheat. We aren't together." Felix said quickly. "Hyunjinnie just helped me to see some things I had been ignoring for too long."
"Then set the table and take a seat. Dinner is ready."
Felix did as she asked, Hyunjin coming to help him. The Lee’s watched, immediately seeing there was more to their relationship than friendship. He smiled at Felix as they all took their seats and when Felix realized he had forgotten his drink, Hyunjin immediately jumped up to get it for him. Felix beamed at him. "Thank you, Jinnie." Felix said softly with a smile. Hyunjin smiled back. The Lee’s exchanged looks.
"So, Hyunjin, you met Felix at the mall?" Felix's father asked. "That sounds like quite a story since you kept in touch."
The two boys shared an intimate smile that the parents did not miss. "Yes sir, it was an eventful meeting and I have not been able to get your son out of my head since." {F- You’re telling me.} Felix joked. Hyunjin’s lips twitched with laughter.
"What happened with Jacob?" Felix's mother asked suddenly. "I didn't think you were the type of man to cheat." Her lips tightened in disapproval. The table went quiet.
"Jacob was…"
"A jerk." Hyunjin said flatly with some heat in his voice. "And your son did not cheat."
"Hyunjinnie, it's ok. They just want to understand." Felix replied, he reached out and touched Hyunjin's hand. "Jacob was not nice to me. I thought he was the best I could ever do. He had beaten my self esteem down so far. But then I met Hyunjin. When he just listened and every so often pointed out how Jacob treated me…I started to pay attention more."
"You deserved better, Lixie."
Felix gave a gentle smile. "I know that, now." He took a deep breath. "He was verbally abusive." {H- And physically.}. "After we left here last week, he said some really degrading things about me to his friends. One of them and his girlfriend stood up for me and when he got a little threatening they kicked him and his other friends out after asking what I wanted them to do. After Hyunjin and I talked about it, I knew I needed to break up with him.” He took a deep breath.
“Mom, Dad, you saw how he treated me when we were with you.”
“I will admit, I didn’t like how he talked to you and picked on you. We thought maybe it was playful but definitely saw an escalation last week. We could tell it bothered you and realized it wasn’t playful at all. We were planning to talk to you about it the next time we saw you without him.” Mr. Lee said.
“It was a lot worse when we were alone.” Felix said softly. “He blamed me for being gay and took out his rage about that on me.” He was almost whispering at that point. {H- I’m right here Lix. None of that was your fault.} Felix looked up at Hyunjin who gave him a reassuring smile. Felix took another deep breath.
“He let himself into my apartment unannounced and when I tried to break up with him…" tears of humiliation filled his eyes at sharing this with his parents. {H- I'm right here, baby. You aren't alone and it isn't your humiliation but his. You did nothing wrong.} }F- No but this is embarrassing anyway.} "Heslappedme." He rushed out.
"What honey?" His mother asked.
"He hit Felix." Hyunjin said flatly. "Lix told him to get out and not to come back." His voice held a hint of pride at that. "I had a free weekend so I came to visit him."
"And you two are….?" His father asked.
"Friends." Felix said with that intimate smile to Hyunjin. "Really good friends, for now. We are seeing what happens."
"Hyunjin, what do you do for a living?" Mr. Lee asked.
Hyunjin blushed. "He's an idol." Felix supplied with a grin.
"An idol?" Mrs. Lee asked in confusion.
"He's in a kpop group." Felix had a look of pride. "Stray Kids. They are really good!"
"Ahhh," Felix's mother said realizing, "the kpop group you talked about last time." Felix blushed and nodded. {H- More like the group Jacob tried to humiliate you about.} {F- You would never be a humiliation to me.}
"We are gaining popularity." Hyunjin said modestly.
"Gaining? You guys are one of the top kpop groups." He turned to his parents with excitement. "They are amazing! You should see them. And they are all really close like brothers."
"You are the amazing one Lix. I have never met anyone as kind and full of love as you."
The Lee's looked between their son and this new man and shared a smile. They relaxed completely. Not only was Hyunjin polite and respectful towards them, more importantly they could see that the relationship between Felix and Hyunjin was a loving and honorable one. Their son looked happier and more relaxed with Hyunjin than he ever had with Jacob. They all sat back and enjoyed the rest of their meal and by the time the two young men left, The Lee’s told Hyunjin he was welcome any time.
When they got back to Felix’s apartment, Felix jumped into Hyunjin’s arms, throwing his arms around the taller man with excitement. “They loved you!” Felix crowed happily. “I could tell they loved you!” Hyunjin looked into his eyes with a smile. {H- I liked them too Sunshine.} Felix’s eyes dropped to his lips. {F- God I want to kiss you.} {H- Then do it.} Hyunjin raised an eyebrow in challenge. Felix grinned and leaned forward kissing Hyunjin gently. The older man let him lead the kiss. Felix wrapped his legs around Hyunjin’s waist and felt the other man hold on to his thighs and move to the couch, sitting and settling Felix in his lap. {F- I want you. I want you to show me what it can be like between us. I want you to fuck me I want you to be happy with me.} {H- No.}
Felix pulled back, hurt. “Don’t freak out on me, Lix. I don’t mean no forever. Hear me out.” Felix bit his own lip and nodded for him to continue. Hyunjin leaned in and gently kissed his cheek. {H- I want you to know that what’s between us is so much more than sex.} He kissed the other cheek. {H- I want you to know how valuable and beautiful you are.} He kissed Felix’s forehead. {H- I want you to feel every bit how much I want you before I do that.} He kissed Felix’s nose. {H- I want to bring you to the edge over and over again.} His lips moved to Felix’s throat and he kissed lightly before licking a strip up the younger man’s neck. {H- I want you absolutely melted with satisfaction before I take mine.} He repeated the gesture on the other side of Felix’s neck. {F- Then and only then will I make love to you, my Lixie.} He pulled back and looked into Felix’s eyes. “You haven’t had someone take the time to make you a priority. I want to do that. That’s what will make me happy.”
“How are you so amazing?” Felix asked softly. “What did I do to get to be in your head?”
“Because you needed me and I needed you.” Hyunjin answered simply. His hands went to Felix’s waist and then moved to his lower back pulling him back in and kissing him again. Felix moaned in his mind. {F- What I feel for you, I have never felt for anyone, ever. Is that ok?} {H- More than ok, my Lix. I feel the same.} {F- I am you know. YOUR Lix.}{H- And I belong to you.}{F- I like that. Can we get started with the um..sexy stuff?} He asked, blushing lightly. {H- As you wish MY Lix.} He grinned and picked Felix up and carried him back to the bedroom to get started.
Chapter 10: Chapter 10
Summary:
Hyunjin shows Felix how different things can be with him.
Notes:
A/N So...I usually like to give enough time for people to actually read a chapter before I update again but well...they were horny so here we are. As always I do not know or own any characters except Jacob, Vanessa and to some extent Arny though he is based on a real person. Any resemblance to reality is completely coincidental. I post only here and Wattpad so if you see my work being posted anywhere else by anyone else, please let me know. If you would like to be alerted when I update any of my stories you can follow me on twitter at _eyes_wideshut Feedback means the world to me so if you like what I write please let me know. This chapter is as always dedicated to my three. You know who you are. Your feedback and love of this story keep it going. I will never be able to thank you enough. I hope you enjoy. This chapter does contain sex. That is your warning.
Chapter Text
Chapter 10
Hyunjin carried Felix to the bedroom and gently placed him on the bed. Felix reached up and pulled off Hyunjin’s shirt but as he reached for the button on Hyunjin’s jeans, the older man’s hands stopped him. {H- Not yet, Sunshine.} {F- But…} {H- Shhh. Just let me do this my way.} Felix looked up nervously. Hyunjin leaned in close. {H- Trust me baby.} He kissed Felix tenderly. Felix sighed happily into the kiss. {F- OK.} {F- I DO trust you. } {H- Then let go and let me take care of you.} Felix nodded as Hyunjin backed up. He bit his lip as Hyunjin’s hands reached and slowly began unbuttoning his shirt. Taking it slow and taking just one button at a time, keeping eye contact with Felix the whole time, his hands sliding lightly down to each button. The room was quiet and intimate; the feeling growing as Hyunjin slowly undressed him. He unbuttoned Felix’s jeans and kissed Felix again. {F- Slide back on the bed baby.} Felix slid backward and as his body moved, Hyunjin pulled down his pants, leaving Felix naked and feeling vulnerable and his hands moved to cover himself. Hyunjin’s eyes looked at him with growing lust but his thoughts were so tender it took Felix’s breath away. {H- You are so beautiful, baby. So incredibly beautiful and that you don’t realize it; makes you even more beautiful.} He crawled up and sat on Felix’s thighs.
Hyunjin took one of Felix’s hands from covering himself and ran his hand from the younger man’s shoulder lightly down his arm to his fingertips before raising the hand to his mouth and kissing his fingers gently. He touched the other arm and checked in with Felix’s emotions and vulnerabilities. {F- I’m ok Jinnie. I trust you.} {H- The second you want me to stop I will. I’m here for you, not for me. } Felix smiled at him. {F- I know. I feel it.} He repeated the motion from before on the other arm before kissing those fingers as well. His hand then touched Felix’s collarbone and drew slowly, maddeningly slow down Felix’s body, his eyes caressing every inch of Felix’s chest, abs, stomach and cock that was rapidly getting hard at the attention. Felix could feel the intention of the touch and the caress of the eyes. It was as if Hyunjin was touching him with five hands; each one of his hands then his two eyes and his mind. His body was alive with sensation in a way he had never felt before. He could also tell his body reactions and his own desire were fueling the same in Hyunjin and he could feel the other man grow hard against his thighs, only separated from his skin by the jeans that were becoming very tight. Hyunjin however ignored his own wants and needs.
It confused Felix. Jacob had never ignored his own needs. When he was ready he started hard and fast but Hyunjin wasn’t doing that. He didn’t understand what he was waiting for. While sex wasn’t great and hurt pretty frequently, he longed for that intimacy with Hyunjin. {H- Sex doesn’t have to hurt, baby. It usually doesn’t. That your experience has told you that it is supposed to is part of the reason we are doing this my way. I don’t want you to hurt at all. This is about you this time. There are plenty of times coming we can focus on me but this time it is all about you.} He leaned down and kissed Felix gently, deepening the kiss slowly and letting the passion build over time. His fingers continued tracing Felix’s body though never going to the hardness. They traced over his belly, his muscles moving and jumping beneath his fingers.
He dipped his head and sucked lightly at Felix’s throat and Felix moaned loudly. {F- Jinnie.} The name was moaned in his mind. He moved to Felix’s nipple and ran a tongue lightly around it before sucking the pert tip into his warm mouth and Felix arched into him, his hands tangling in Hyunjin’s hair to pull him closer.
Felix was drowning in desire. He had never felt this level of pleasure in his life. Nothing he had ever done had felt as good as this did and Hyunjin hadn’t even touched his dick yet. His touches were light, causing his skin to awaken in new and amazing ways. It was like he had never been touched before in his life. For the first time in his life, Felix understood the expression touch starved. His skin jumped and moved at Hyunjin’s touch, equally tickled and craving more. He wanted to close his eyes and enjoy all the sensations but he couldn’t take his eyes off Hyunjin. He had never seen anyone more beautiful. The man’s hair falling over his eyes as he leaned over him, now sucking at the other nipple. {F- Please touch me.} Felix begged. {F- Please.}
Hyunjin could feel Felix’s warring emotions. He desperately wanted Hyunjin to touch him and at the same time felt guilty that he wasn’t touching Hyunjin enough. {H- This is about you baby, don’t feel guilty.} Hyunjin reminded him. He moved up and kissed Felix once more and then moved to Felix’s side, laying beside the younger man. His fingers teasingly slide over the hardness between Felix’s legs. Felix gasped and his hips arched up instantly, seeking more. Hyunjin started the carress light and the pace slow; gradually and painstakingly slowly building speed and pressure until the only thing Felix could think was Hyunjin’s name and he was completely lost in passion.
Felix felt his orgasm building and building. He had no idea he could be this turned on. He had heard an orgasm referred to as a little death before and had never understood it, now however he finally got it. It felt like he would die if he didn’t cum but at the same time, he never wanted this to end. His body drew tighter and tighter like the strings of a bow being pulled further and further, an inch at a time until he just couldn’t see how they could go further and yet they did. He writhed on the bed, sweat coating his body and his lips raw from biting them.
Hyunjin alternated between watching him, kissing him and sucking, licking or biting lightly at anything he could reach. His voice in Felix’s head coaxed and reassured him at every step; reminding him every moment how beautiful and desirable he was. Hyunjin worked him to the breaking point several times each time slowing and forcing Felix’s body to relax away from orgasm before resuming and building it back up again. Only when Felix couldn’t think words any longer and was completely thoughtless just lost in sensation did he finally stop toying with him. {H- I’m not going to slow down this time, baby unless you want me to. You can let go this time.} Felix’s eyes finally slid closed and felt his orgasm overtake him. He came so hard he wordlessly screamed and his body arched into the air, almost bowing at the strength of it. He blacked out a bit and his body went completely lax and boneless.
He became aware again and felt the little tender kisses Hyunjin was leaving all over his face. His eyes slid open and he saw Hyunjin above him. “You back with me, baby?” His lover asked with a tender smile.
“Hyunjin.” Felix said, his voice hoarse. He really couldn’t say anything else, his mouth couldn’t even form the words of what Hyunjin had just done to and for him.
“I’m gonna go get something to clean you up. I’ll be right back, baby.” Felix nodded tiredly. Hyunjin came back with a warm cloth and gently cleaned Felix up, before pulling Felix into his arms and gently rubbing his back. Felix snuggled into him happily. They lay like that for a few minutes until Felix moved a bit and felt Hyunjin pressing against him, the rough jeans separating them but the hardness beneath them pressing against him. {F- Oh God! I’m so sorry Hyunjin, you are still hard. Let me take care of that…} {H- Shhh…It’s ok baby. I don’t have to; you don’t have to.} {F- But I want to. I want you to.} Felix looked up at him and bit his lip, he imagined how it might be with Hyunjin taking him from behind. {H- Not like that baby. Maybe sometime, but not our first time. I want to look at your face and let you see mine. Are you sure you want that tonight? It's ok if you don’t. I can wait.}
“I want it.” Felix said softly. “I want you. I want to know what it can be like. I want to feel you and see you cum too.” Hyunjin probed his thoughts checking for any hesitation or doubt but he found none. {H- Ok, baby.} He said and kissed Felix tenderly; lovingly. {H- Do you have lube?} He saw where Felix kept it and reached over Felix to the bedside table and grabbed the lube and a condom. He moved into position between Felix’s legs. {H- I’m gonna prep you and take the time to open you up, try to relax as much as you can.} Felix nodded.
Felix watched Hyunjin get some lube on his fingers and reach down. Hyunjin kissed him, gently thrusting his tongue in Felix’s mouth, tangling erotically with his own as his finger gently circled Felix’s entrance. It felt good and Hyunjin could feel Felix’s surprise at that. Slowly and gently his finger slid inside, and Felix could feel Hyunjin checking for his reaction at every step. It was different than he was used to and Hyunjin was having his tongue matching the motions of his finger. When Felix’s body completely relaxed and his hips began moving with him, Hyunjin gently added a finger. He continued doing this, scissoring his fingers to open Felix up for him. {H- You are doing so good, baby.} Felix moaned as Hyunjin’s fingers brushed his prostate. Jacob had hit it occasionally by accident but it was like Hyunjin strove to brush it often; it wasn’t remotely accidental with him. It felt like hours later that Hyunjin deemed him prepped enough and finally stood to slip out of his jeans.
Felix’s eyes ate every inch of Hyunjin as he was bared. {F- Fuck. You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen.} His eyes took in the lean, toned, muscular body. Hyunjin let him look his fill. Felix took in the long toned dancer's legs, the muscular abs and hips. The arm muscles that stood out more than he had realized. They finally dropped to the hardness jutting out from a hairless groin. He knew from having been in Hyunjin’s head for so long that most of the idols shaved their bodies. They considered it more sanitary. He hadn’t thought about his own nest of curls and hairy body until that moment and suddenly grew worried he had disgusted Hyunjin. {H- None of that, baby. You are perfect. If you want to shave that's fine but you don’t have to for me, not ever. There isn’t a single part of you that is disgusting.} He climbed onto the bed again and settled into position on his knees between Felix’s legs. Felix let go of the worry, there wasn’t an ounce of disgust in Hyunjin’s thoughts. He smiled happily.
“You sure?” Hyunjin asked and Felix nodded enthusiastically. “You can change your mind at any time, ok?” He felt Felix’s confusion at that. {F- You would stop in the middle if I asked you to?} {H- YES. That is what consensual sex is, baby. You own your own body, you decide who has access to it, when and for how long.} {F- Oh.} Felix finally got it. He understood that Hyunjin would never insist on anything that Felix didn’t want and enjoy. He didn’t know why he hadn’t understood it before but he fully got it now. {F- I love you.} Felix hadn’t intended or even realized the thought before it crossed his mind, he was just overwhelmed at the level of support he felt from Hyunjin. {H- I love you too, Sunshine.}
Hyunjin pulled on the condom and kissed Felix as he got them into position. He slowly began entering Felix, taking his time and making sure the smaller man was ok every second. Felix was amazed that though there was the slight burn of entry, there was no real pain. It took some adjustment as it always did but unlike with Jacob, this was enjoyable. Hyunjin took his time building speed just like he had before. His mind made love to Felix’s just as his body did. It was sensory overload and though Felix had never before had more than one orgasm at a time; in fact he hadn’t even known it was possible, he felt himself get hard again.
Hyunjin’s hand wrapped around him and moved at a matching tempo. He angled his hips to make sure to brush across Felix’s prostate with every stroke, using Felix’s thoughts to maximize every movement. Felix had only to fleetingly think harder, faster, or any instruction before Hyunjin made it happen. Literally every thought satisfied. Felix in turn thrust his hips up to meet Hyunjin and pulled Hyunjin’s mouth to meet his own. Their kiss was sloppy; too turned on and in the moment for any kind of tact or technique. Their tongues tangled together hotly as they raced toward the cliff together. Hyunjin’s hips stuttered and he threw his head back as his orgasm hit and Felix crashed over the edge with him, eyes drinking in the sight of Hyunjin licking his lips and moaning, body slick and sexy with sweat. His hair damp and clinging to his neck. Felix had never seen anything so sexy in his life.
They rested, Felix with his limbs wrapped around Hyunjin, and the older man breathing heavily on his chest. {H- Wow!} Felix echoed the thought. {H- That was amazing.} Felix felt Hyunjin softening within him. {F- Even your sweat smells sexy.} Felix blushed as Hyunjin laughed at the thought. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to think it.”
“You can’t help your thoughts, Lixie.” Hyunjin looked down at him with a grin. “How about we shower and watch something together.”
“That sounds like heaven.” Felix’s stomach growled. “And maybe some food.”
“Done.” Hyunjin kissed him tenderly and then holding the base of the condom, he pulled out of Felix and went to dispose of it. Felix joined him as he turned on the shower. They showered and took turns washing each other. It was intimate and loving and Felix was practically boneless with relaxation by the time they got out. They dressed in soft comfortable sweats and went into the living room. Felix heated them up some leftovers and brought them over to the couch. They snuggled together and put on a movie, just enjoying relaxing together. Felix fell asleep on Hyunjin and the larger man turned off everything and picked Felix up and carried him back to the bed. He tucked Felix in and climbed in next to him, pulling Felix into his arms. {H- I love you, Felix. So much.} He thought just before falling asleep himself. Felix, deep in sleep didn’t hear the thought but subconsciously snuggled in tighter at the emotion.
Chapter 11: Chapter 11
Summary:
slight fluff chapter, please excuse me for it. Just some conversations and revelations.
Notes:
A/N hello my lovlies! As always, I do not know or own any of the people involved in this story except those mentioned in previous chapters. As I stated a few chapters ago, always check the tags. I have several things in mind for this story that I don't want to spoil so I won't tag them until the chapter that introduces them. This story is fiction and any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental. Also due to the fact that this story is an AU some timelines are altered a bit. For example, Hyunjin and Jisung's feud lasting longer than it did in real life. Feedback feeds my muse more than you can imagine so if you like what I write, please let me know. I only publish here and on Wattpad so if you see my work posted elsewhere please let me know. If you want to be alerted when I update any of my stories, you can follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. Now get to reading and I hope you enjoy.
Chapter Text
Felix woke up on Saturday, his body sore from their exertions the night before but he was surprised that it was a good sore and not a painful one. It was the soreness of lovemaking where his body had been well used and loved but not one of mistreatment. He looked at Hyunjin’s face, relaxed in sleep. His features seemed much younger like this. It was his expressions and his sultry attitude that made him appear older, Felix realized. Like this he looked eighteen or nineteen. Felix lightly touched the other man’s cheek and watched him sleep. Felix felt so cared for and loved. He had never felt anything like this. He had never known it could be like this. He had watched romance movies and always enjoyed them and daydreamed but deep down, he had thought it was fantasy. There was no way someone would put his needs first. But Hyunjin had; and not just the night before, he had from the beginning. It was epic and he had a hard time wrapping his head around it.
His musing was brought to an abrupt end when Hyunjin’s phone rang. The older man stirred and reached for it. “Hello?” He asked, his voice gravelly with sleep as he pulled Felix back down to rest on his chest.
“Hyun-ah.” Changbin’s voice sounded. "Hyung said you went to visit a….friend.” He paused.
“Mmhmm.” Was all Hyunjin responded as his hand lazily rubbed Felix’s back.
"You haven't talked about a friend. In fact you haven't talked much lately. I was getting a bit worried and was gonna talk to you about it soon. Are you…" He paused and Hyunjin could tell he was organizing his thoughts.
“You’ve been…off lately.” Changbin said carefully. “I was getting worried about you and then hearing that you had left to visit someone, particularly someone you haven't talked about, had me wondering.” The two men could hear him take a deep breath. “Are you ok Hyun-ah?”
Hyunjin laughed. “I’m good hyung. I promise.” His voice was relaxed and happy.
“Can I ask where you are?” His tone relaxed slightly but not completely.
“I’m in Sydney.”
“You have a friend in Sydney? When did you meet them? Where did you meet them?” His shock was evident.
“It's not important Hyung.”
“Who are they?”
{H- Do you mind if I tell him a little?} {F- No. It's fine. I trust you.} “His name is Felix.”
“Felix." {F- I like his voice. It's very soothing.} {H- Hyung is a very good man. You'd like him and he would definitely like you.} "OK. Is he there? Can he hear this?”
“Yes.” Felix answered softly. “I can hear you.” {H- You don't have to be shy with him. Changbin hyung is protective, he just wants to be sure I am ok.} Felix smiled gently.
“I don’t know what is going on with Hyunjin-ah but I just wanted to ask you to take care of him. He is important to us.” Changbin asked.
“He is important to me too.” Felix answered. "I wouldn't ever hurt him."
"And you won't tell me how you met him? Are you a fan?" The worry in his voice was obvious. Hyunjin rolled his eyes.
"A fan?" Felix's eyes glimmering with mirth. "Is he famous or something? Should I call the paparazzi??" He teased. There was stunned silence from the phone. {H- That was mean.} Hyunjin thought with a grin.
"He is teasing hyung. He wouldn't call the paps. He is keeping me well hidden."
"Oh. Are you sure?" Changbin was quite nervous now and Felix sobered immediately.
"I apologize." He said, sincerity filling his every word. "I was teasing but because you don't know me, you wouldn't have any way of knowing that. I would never hurt Jinnie. It would hurt me too. And even if it wouldn't I still wouldn't."
"Hyung, I won't go into details but trust me when I say that Felix is the nicest man I have ever known and he is incapable of hurting anyone but especially me. I trust him more than I have ever trusted anyone before and you know how hard trust can be for me. You don't have to worry. I promise. Trust me on this."
They heard Binnie take a deep breath. "I do trust you Hyunjin-ah. If you say Felix is trustworthy then I take that as gospel." Felix grinned at the words.
"Thank you, Changbin." {H- Hyung. Say hyung.} "Uh..hyung." Felix added awkwardly. Changbin laughed.
“So definitely not Korean.” He said.
“His family is. They just raised him here.” Hyunjin said.
“Does he make you happy?”
“Very.” Hyunjin’s tone was firm but fond and he smiled over at Felix.
“Then I’m glad you finally found what you have been looking for Hyunjin-ah.” Changbin said softly but Felix froze at the memory that went through Hyunjin’s head. Hyunjin immediately blushed. Hyunjin and Changbin in bed together, sweaty from sex and cuddling. Changbin was telling Hyunjin he hoped he would find what he was looking for one day.
“Um…I need to run hyung. Felix and I need to talk some more.”
“Ok. Just making sure you were good. Nice talking to you Felix-ah.”
Felix didn’t take his eyes off Hyunjin. “Yeah. You too hyung.” Hyunjin hung up and set his phone down.
“Felix, don’t freak out, let me explain.”
“So you and he are together.” Felix said flatly, moving away from Hyunjin. The older man reached for him and grabbed his hand stopping him from leaving.
“You know that isn’t true. You have been in my head the entire time we have known each other. You would have seen signs of it.”
“Then explain why you just remembered such an intimate moment.”
“Please, come back, I will explain everything.” Hyunjin begged. Felix hesitated then settled back just a bit though he still kept some space between them. He knew he wasn’t being fair but his thoughts were whirling and Hyunjin’s were spinning between that intimate moment and pleading thoughts to Felix.
“Fine. Explain.”
{H- We had this dating ban for a long time. We were starting to gain popularity so we were surrounded constantly and couldn’t ever even sneak dates. I was so lonely. I was fighting all the time with Jisung…} {F- I thought you two were close?} {H- We are now but we weren’t then. It was a really stressful time. Woojin had just left us, Chan hyung was breaking down and trying to hide it. Minho wasn’t taking sides but I knew his loyalty to Jisung would always outweigh anything he felt for me. Seungmin-ah was protecting Jeongin-ah from as much as he could so he wasn’t around me as much. I felt so alone and lost. Bin hyung realized what was going on with me and shut us up in his room and kept me until I started talking.}
{H- I broke down Lix. Bad. I cried for hours. I was just so lonely and lost. Hyung knew somehow and just comforted me and held me. I kissed him. I don’t know why I did it. I thought he would push me off but he didn’t. He kissed me back. I realized how bad we both needed someone that night.} {F- So you made love.} {H- No Lix, we fucked. There wasn’t emotion attached to it. We used each other to get off. It gave us both the connection we needed that night. When we finished we talked. It was obvious to both of us that there was something missing and we weren’t a good match as we were. We weren’t meant to be a couple. I love him, dearly, but not as my partner. It just didn’t feel right…not for either of us.}
{H- We agreed to be a couple for just that night. We spent that night talking about how lonely we had been. He told me he hoped I would find what I was looking for in a relationship. That was what you saw. I swear to you I am not with hyung. We had sex once. One time. I swear, I am not harboring love or romantic feelings for him. I wouldn’t do that to you.} Felix looked deep in his eyes and analyzed his thoughts. He slowly relaxed against Hyunjin knowing he was telling the truth. {F- I’m sorry I panicked.} {H- You don’t have to apologize to me for that. You have every right to question me over that memory. Especially if we are going to be together and I really want us to be together.} {F- I do too, Jinnie. I love you.} He lay his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder. It was impossible to hold that moment against him. If he weren’t in Hyunjin’s head he could have worried it over forever but he could see and feel the way the other man felt. Yeah, he had sex with Changbin and yeah he loved his hyung but not in that way. Not now. It stung a bit, and his insecurities were flying but he could see that the reason Hyunjin hadn’t shared this with him was not because he was trying to hide anything but more because he honestly hadn’t even thought about it. It really didn’t mean anything to Hyunjin except for some found comfort in a close friend that one time.
Felix could see it all. There were moments Hyunjin was still attracted to Changbin but who could fault him for that? Changbin was hot. Honestly the two together would make a stunning couple. Hyunjin was all lithe and light while Changbin was muscular and dark. Hyunjin was quiet and high drama queen energy while Changbin was playful at times and a serious principled man when needed. They were yin and yang to each other. {H- That one night with him years ago was not even close to you and I last night, baby.} Felix smiled up at him. {F- I get it. I’m ok.} And he was surprised that he really was. {F- I can’t fault you for anything you did before last night. And like you said, I know you two aren’t together now. It isn’t fair of me to get jealous of things that happened before we met. It was just an instant reaction.} Hyunjin kissed his head. {H- Thank you Lix.} {F- Any of the other guys I should know about?} Hyunjin laughed. “No, that's all Lix.” He thought for a moment. “Any guys I should know about?”
“Nope. You already know my past.” Felix said.
“Are we ok?”
“Yeah. We are ok.” Felix smiled at him. His insecurities were settling as the thoughts Hyunjin had about Felix far outweighed anything he had ever felt from anyone else. “Want me to order you some coffee?”
“Mmm. I want more cuddle time before coffee. Having you in my arms feels so right.”
Felix knew exactly what he meant. He felt it too. It was as if their entire lives had been leading to this connection, making them perfect for each other and able to give everything they were to the other and be the perfect partner. They cuddled into each other falling back asleep together. Their arms wrapped around the other even in their sleep.
Chapter 12: Chapter 12
Summary:
Hyunjin and Felix spend time exploring their connection for future use. Hyunjin has to go home and Felix has some company.
Notes:
A/N Hello my lovelies! Here is the next part. I have received several requests for an update (honestly on all of my stories). I am truly sorry my work schedule is so hectic right now, It's really cutting into my writing time, bah humbug lol. This story is complete fiction, I do not know or own the characters written here except those I have previously named. Any resemblance to reality is a complete coincidence. Feedback is incredibly important to me so if you like what I write please let me know. @Mariposaofasia this chapter is dedicated to you. I promise I am working on Love Is A Sneaky Bitch as well. Thank you again for your message. It meant a lot, write me anytime. Seriously. To my beloved twins and to my fellow authors @lolwhyamidoingthis (I don't even know if you read my work but either way cheesecake is my obsession) and @Makirasan; you four inspire me. Your words and your stories always make me excited to write. I adore you. Lastly if you want to be alerted when I update, you can follow me at _eyes_wideshut on twitter. Now enjoy.
Chapter Text
Felix and Hyunjin spent the rest of the weekend in the apartment. They alternated between making love and just relaxing together. Felix had texted a picture of Hyunjin to Chan each day, letting the leader know he was safe. The pictures never showed Felix, just a very happy and relaxed Hyunjin. It was a side Chan had hoped Hyunjin would find. The duo tested their connection seeing how to use it to pleasure each other even when they couldn't physically touch. Neither of them commented on why but there were many thoughts of how this would help after.
Through trial and error they realized they could see the fantasy and feel a ghost touch when one thought about touching the other. It wasn't the same as a physical touch but it could be pleasurable and erotic. They could draw each other's attention to anything the other could feel. One would close their eyes and the other would feel random sensations everyone learned to ignore, like the slight crease of a shirt on the elbow or the feel of a pillowcase creased below the neck. They could almost push those feelings to the front allowing the person who actually had the sensation to pay attention to things they hadn't noticed themselves.
Physical touch however was different. If Felix touched himself for example, Hyunjin could feel it. They touched their own lips and arms. They gently stroked legs and bellies. They touched themselves and paid attention to how the other reacted, felt and thought. They learned how to calm and how to arouse each other. They knew it would come in handy to know exactly how to touch themselves to make the other feel like they were being touched. It was an exercise of pleasure, compassion and patience.
By the time Hyunjin was packing to leave, Felix was lost in tears at losing him, perched cross legged on the bed. Hyunjin stopped packing and took a seat on the bed next to him. He ran his fingers through Felix's hair. {H- Lix, baby, this isn't goodbye. You aren't losing me. I'm still in here.} He tapped Felix's head. {H- You are still going to be closer to me than anyone else. I'm still going to feel that gorgeous body of yours. I promise this isn't goodbye.} {F- I don't want to lose you.} {H- I'm not going anywhere baby. We will figure out how to make us work at a distance.} {F- You promise you aren't just gonna leave me behind?} {H- Lix, baby, sunshine, look at me.} Felix looked into his eyes.
{H- You know how I feel about you. You know how important you are to me.} Felix sniffed and nodded solemnly. {H- Then trust me and trust in us.} Felix took a shuddering breath. {F- Ok.} . Hyunjin kissed him tenderly and then kissed his forehead. "I love you, Sunshine."
Felix smiled. "I love you too, Hyunie." Hyunjin stood and went back to packing. Felix folded his pants and handed them to the other man. When he finished they snuggled back up onto the couch as they waited for the uber to arrive.
"Maybe we can find time for you to come visit me." Hyunjin suggested. "Our schedule is a beast but we will make it work." He kissed the top of Felix's head which was quickly becoming Felix's favorite thing..
"Sure you don't want me to take you to the airport?"
"No. If I have you looking at me with those beautiful eyes, I won't be able to get out of the car." Felix nodded knowing it was true. They heard the horn honk and with a sigh they stood.
"I would say call me when you get there safely but…"
"But you'll already know." Hyunjin said with a grin and kissed Felix softly. "That is until next time. I miss you already. Be safe and keep an eye out for the asshole."
"I will." One last quick hug and kiss and Hyunjin was gone. {H- Not gone. Just headed home.}
Felix picked up his phone and texted Chan. ~he's on his way to the airport heading back to you. Please take good care of him.~
A reply came quickly. ~I always do. I promise he will be good. Thanks for taking care of him while he was there.~
~my pleasure~
Felix wandered around the house as Hyunjin made his way to the airport and then through it. He only breathed easier when he was safely through security and beyond the reach of any paparazzi. He had been unnoticed thankfully. Around dinnertime, when Hyunjin was I'm the air, there was a knock at Felix's door.
Vanessa and Arny stood on the doorstep holding up a couple pizzas. She peeked behind him. "Is your friend gone?" She bounced nervously. “We aren’t trying to interrupt if he is still here.”
"Yeah." Felix said sadly. He's on the plane going home." He stepped back wordlessly inviting them to enter.
"We thought so and figured you might need some company." Arny said with a smile. "Flutter picked out some movies and drinks and I grabbed some pizza. Unless you want to be alone…" He hesitated. {H- That's so kind of them.} {F- Yes. It really is.}
Vanessa bounced over and hugged Felix. "Want and need are two separate things, Arny." She chirped and headed into the kitchen to put the drinks in the fridge and get the plates.
"I don't know if I will be good company." Felix hedged.
"Felix," Vanessa said coming back into the living room, "you don't have to be good company. We are here to keep you from being alone. If you just want to sit and stare at the tv that's ok. If you want to watch movies and laugh with us that's ok. If you want to talk about your friend and cry, we are here for that as well. I just wanted to make sure you weren't alone."
Felix smiled at her as Arny took a seat. "You two are the best thing that Jacob brought into my life." {H- They are the only good things.}
They spent the evening just keeping Felix company and letting him control the flow. There was some laughter and a couple tears but through all that, Felix didn't really talk about Hyunjin. He honestly didn't know how to. How do you say that famous kpop guy is in my head and we fell in love before we even really met? He would sound crazy if he even tried.
Late that night Hyunjin got home and tried to be quiet knowing Felix had cried himself to sleep already. Chan greeted him with a hug. "How was the trip?"
"Good." Hyunjin answered quietly.
Chan raised an eyebrow. "You good brah?"
"Yeah I'm fine. It was a great weekend. My friend and I were very happy I went."
"You don't have to worry. Jisung is with Min and Binnie is at the gym." Chan said thinking that was why Hyunjin was being quiet.
"Oh…uh…I was just trying not to be too loud." He blushed.
"So tell me about your friend. They were very nice and sent me daily pictures so I knew you hadn't run off to join a cult." He teased but his tone was very curious about the mystery friend.
"I know. They told me." Hyunjin said with a little smile, knowing Chan was trying to find out more.
"Do I know them?"
"Nope." Hyunjin’s grin grew.
"Bin said he talked to them."
"Yep." At this point Hyunjin was just having fun with it, knowing how badly Chan wanted to know.
"So he told me all about them." Chan said. "You don't have to hide it from me."
"No I did not." Changbin said as he came into the room. His shirt clinging to his muscular frame, wet with sweat. "I didn't tell you anything." He turned and grinned at Hyunjin. "Glad you are home though." He said with a smile. "We missed you." He headed into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. "And don't think I don't know how much hyung is dying to know the details." He shot back over his shoulder.
Hyunjin laughed. "Exactly why I'm not telling him anything."
Chan gave him an exasperated look. "I can't protect you if I don't know anything." He said trying a different approach.
Hyunjin looked at the door as Minho and Jisung arrived and joined them, the couple holding hands. To stave off his sudden longing for Felix, Hyunjin continued quickly."Face it hyung. I know you are just dying of curiosity and it is killing you to not be at the center of this." He grinned, having a blast picking on his hyung. Minho started laughing.
"My web of corruption continues to expand." Minho said with a smirk. "Now what are we talking about?" Hyunjin grinned at him.
"Thank you, hyung! Chan hyung is trying to figure out who I went to visit."
"Ahh." Minho made that sound he always made when he was understanding the unspoken. "It's healthy to not know every little detail, hyung." He grinned.
Chan pouted and looked over at Minho and Jisung before looking back at Hyunjin. "You've been hanging around Min-ah too much." He muttered and the others all laughed and Chan finally joined in.
Later while Hyunjin was unpacking Binnie knocked on his door and came in. "You look awfully tense for someone who spent the weekend relaxing." Binnie stated as he took a seat on the bed and watched. Hyunjin shrugged.
"It was hard to leave him." He finally said softly.
Changbin looked at him in surprise. "You didn't want to come back? Usually you can't wait to get home."
"More like I wanted him to come with me." He sat too and looked at his hands. "I love him, hyung." He admitted, his voice was soft and vulnerable.
Changbin reached over and pulled Hyunjin against him, hugging him with one arm. Hyunjin could smell the clean scent of shower on him and the faint scent of his cologne and let the smell comfort him. "I know." Changbin said softly. "You wouldn't have gone otherwise. Chan knows too that's why it's freaking him out that you won't tell him anything about Felix." Then he grinned. "It's good for him to not always know everything. Keeps him on his toes."
Hyunjin sniffed and laughed. "Tell me about him. Only what you want to." Changbin offered.
"He's beautiful, kind and gentle. I've never met anyone like him." He took a deep breath. "When we met he was dating this horrible guy who treated him like absolute shit. The guy blamed Lix for making him gay and it made Felix blame himself too so he let this guy just humiliate him."
Hyunjin rubbed his cheek against his hyung's shoulder seeking comfort. Binnie understood without a word and rubbed his back. "He finally broke up with him and then I made the plan to visit."
"So he just got out of a relationship?" Changbin asked worriedly.
"Yes. But trust me, he isn't thinking about Jacob. He hasn't for a while. Jacob just made life miserable."
"I know you trust him Jin-ah but how can you be sure this isn't a rebound?" Changbin asked carefully and when Hyunjin immediately went to pull away he tightened his grip. "I'm not doubting you. Don't take it that way; I just want to be sure you are protecting yourself."
Hyunjin looked into his eyes. "I can't explain how I am so sure…"
"Can't or won't?" Changbin asked.
Hyunjin shrugged. "Does it matter? Either way I wouldn't tell you without talking to him about it. You know how I am about trust, especially new people." Changbin nodded. "What I will tell you is that he knows me better than anyone ever has. I know him the same way." His gaze turned pleading. "Bin, I swear he is the most pure soul I have ever met. He is a ray of happiness, joy and honesty. He is completely open with me. He shares everything he feels and thinks. We tell each other everything. I swear to you, he is not using me. Trust me."
"Jin-ah, I do trust you. I just want so badly to see you happy. I want someone to appreciate you the way you should be."
"Bin, he does. He is everything I could ever want and more."
"Then I'm happy for you." Changbin kissed his temple and finally stood. "I'm happy you are home though. It's not the same without you." Hyunjin smiled at him.
"Missed you too, hyung." He grinned.
Changbin left and Hyunjin settled onto his bed to paint. He started with a sketch of Felix, looking out the window with sun streaming onto his face and his fingers gently on his lips. He made a good start on it before finally putting the painting down and settling to get some sleep. It was early in the morning and he wouldn't get much sleep but Hyunjin had felt comforted by painting Felix. His thoughts were of his sunshine as he drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 13: Chapter 13
Summary:
The group confronts Hyunjin on what has been happening. What will the connected tell everyone?
Notes:
A/N Hello my lovelies! Sorry for the delay. There are so many things I have planned for this story but I couldn't figure out how quickly I wanted them to happen. Some good conversations and planning yesterday settled that out. Thank you to Makirasan for that. This is for you. This story is fiction, I do not know or own the characters here except those previously mentioned. Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental. Feedback is hugely important to me and seriously feeds my muse so if you like what I write, let me know. If you want to be alerted when I update any of my stories feel free to follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. This story is cross posted on Wattpad and does not have my permission to be translated or posted anywhere else without my permission. If you see it anywhere else please let me know. Now get to reading and enjoy!
Chapter Text
Chapter 13
Several weeks later, Felix winced at the coffee taste that flooded his mouth as Hyunjin drank. {H- I’m sorry Lix.} {F- It’s ok. I’ve gotten used to it.} {H- Liar.} Hyunjin thought fondly. Felix shrugged. {F- Well I’ve gotten more used to it anyway.} {H- Now that was the truth.} Hyunjin was sitting in the recording booth practicing his lines. Felix was headed to the coffee shop to get some matcha. Felix smiled as Hyunjin recorded his lines and listened to Changbin’s instructions. He knew that Hyunjin wouldn’t have held it against him if he had been jealous of the two being together so often but in truth he wasn’t. All of Hyunjin’s bandmates had such a special connection with each other. It made Felix somewhat jealous of their closeness but not over any intimacy concerns. They just all knew each other so well. {H- We are family. When you live away from your own family; the group becomes that for you.} {F- I can understand that.}
He pulled into his parking space and headed up the stairs to his apartment as Hyunjin sang the line again. He froze when he got to his door and saw a flower stuck through the door latch. It was a rose of some sort but Felix had never seen one like it. It was almost black with blood red parts of it. It was both beautiful and sinister at the same time. {H- What the fuck is that?} Felix could feel Hyunjin lose all focus of the song. {H- This is happening way too often. It isn’t from Vanessa, right?} {F- No. Nessa would have left a note. We both know who left this.} {H- Jacob.} {F- Jacob.} Felix agreed.
His ex boyfriend had been dropping things at his door, always when he was out except the once and always without being seen. The scariest time was when there had been a note taped to his bedroom window when he woke up. That one had Hyunjin flying into a rage and it took all the calming thoughts Felix could muster to stop Jinnie from immediately leaving Korea to come to him. They both had their own lives and Felix would have felt exceedingly guilty if he caused harm to come to the group because of their connection. Only that had stopped Hyunjin.
“Hyunjin-ah? What happened?” Changbin asked as the two were involved in their conversation.
“Oh…uh…” Hyunjin hesitated, unsure what to say. “I got distracted. Sorry hyung.” He saw Felix pick up the rose and drop it on the ground and crush it underfoot. {H- Be careful.} Hyunjin ordered him. Felix agreed and headed into his apartment, locking it up behind him. He sipped his matcha as he sat back at his desk and clocked back in from lunch, his good mood gone.
“Are you good to continue?” Changbin asked worriedly. {F- Get back to work. There is nothing you can do anyway.} {H- I don’t like this. You were gone for less than 10 minutes. He is getting bolder.} {F- I know.}
“Yeah hyung, I’m fine. I’m ready.” He looked up and waited for his cue. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts, he didn’t notice the looks the producer kept giving him.
That night Felix was settling down to a late dinner as Hyunjin was painting. They both looked up at the knock on Hyunjin’s door. Chan opened it. “Hey Jin-ah, family meeting.” He said and Hyunjin nodded wondering what was up.
“Sure hyung. Be right there.” He answered as he set down his paints. {F- News about your comeback?} {H- No,} Hyunjin thought worriedly. {H- Those are usually at the company. The only time we have meetings here is when hyung doesn’t want anyone else to hear and they are very private. It's not usually good.} {F- I’m right here for you.} Hyunjin smiled. {H- I know Angel. Thank you.}
Hyunjin went out and took a seat on the couch realizing his other brothers were already there. He grew nervous when he saw the looks they were giving him. {F- This is making me nervous.} {H- Me too.} Chan looked to Changbin and at Minho who both nodded. “Thanks for coming everyone. We have something we need to discuss.” He took a deep breath and Jeongin took Hyunjin’s hand gently and squeezed it. Both Hyunjin and Felix were comforted by that action. “Jinnie,” Chan started hesitantly. “We are all getting a bit worried about you. You have seemed kind of checked out lately. You will be all here one minute and then the next you aren’t even hearing us. What is going on?”
{F- Hard to focus when a crazy Aussie is distracting you all the time.} “We are all here for you hyung, we are just worried.” Jeongin said. Hyunjin laughed at Felix’s thought and then froze as the others looked at him, Jeongin’s expression one of hurt.
“Oh, In-ah, I wasn’t laughing at you…I…ah…” He stopped talking, unsure of what to even say.
“Like that Jin-ah. It's like you aren’t here. You laugh at random things, you get angry when there is nothing to be angry about.” Chan said.
“Today you were totally fine and then you got so angry suddenly.” Changbin said softly.
“I wasn’t angry, I was worried.” Hyunjin muttered.
“You know we like to allow what privacy we can,” Chan said.
“But we are really worried.” Seungmin said. “This isn’t like you and we want to know what's going on.”
“Do you need time off?” Chan offered.
“No hyung. I promise I’m ok.”
“But you aren’t and we have all seen it.” Minho said flatly.
“You aren’t yourself lately and we need to know how to help you but we can’t if you don’t talk to us.” Chan added. “You have to talk to us. We have waited for you to be ready to talk but you don’t seem to want to do that and you are scaring the shit out of us.”
Hyunjin looked at his brothers. Jeongin who hadn’t let go of his hand. Seungmin, Minho and Jisung who were uncharacteristically quiet and serious. Changbin and Chan who looked close to tears and ready to jump in and shoulder any burdens. {F- Shit.} {H- Yeah, shit. What do you want me to say?}
“Jin-ah please don’t fade away right now, talk to us.” Binnie begged softly seeing the other man losing focus again.
“I’m not, just give me a minute.” Hyunjin replied. {H- What should I say?} {F- Is there anything we can say but the truth?} {H- They will never believe me.} {F- They love you. They will believe you.} “I never intended to talk about any of this.” He finally said softly. “I honestly don’t know how. There is no way you will believe me.”
“Just talk to us hyung.” Jisung said softly. It was so uncharacteristic of Jisung to be so quiet and still that it shocked Hyunjin. {F- Just tell them. We’ll deal with it.}
Hyunjin took a deep breath. “First of all, I wasn’t laughing at you Jeongin. I will tell you but it's a long story and hard to believe. Just know that this isn’t easy.”
“Whatever it is, we are here for you.” Changbin said and Hyunjin nodded.
“It started when we were in Australia at the signing at the mall. Remember when I passed out?” He looked to Jeongin who had been with him. The other man nodded.
“Yeah, I was worried about you, you just went down in the middle of the mall. But once you came to, you got up like nothing had happened.”
“Well something had happened.” {F- You can say that again.} “I was walking and not particularly thinking about anything. I heard a guy say something about someone running into him and I looked up and saw him and then I passed out. When I came to, I could hear that guy.” He could see that they didn’t understand so he tapped his head. “I could hear him in here.”
“You are hearing voices?” Chan asked, his concern obvious.
“No, not like that.” Hyunjin laughed. “Just let me get this out.” {H- Everything?} {F- Whatever you are comfortable telling them is fine with me.} “At first it was confusing and I was trying to figure out if I was going crazy. When we ate lunch that day, I could taste things I shouldn’t have tasted. I could hear conversations happening on the other end of the mall. I could read the English signs around us. And most of all I could hear everything he heard and thought.”
“Who?” Chan asked.
“Felix.” Hyunjin said and a look crossed Changbin’s face.
“That's how you met?” He asked and Hyunjin nodded.
“We talked a bit, though I was somewhat reluctant to share my thoughts but we can’t hide anything from one another so we figured out how to live with it and give each other as much privacy as we can. It's awkward to say the least to feel, taste, touch and hear everything the other does and then adding everything he thinks on top of that. Its a lot to take in.”
“Jinnie…” Chan’s voice held a strong tone of worry. “We can make an appointment for you.”
“Appointment?” Hyunjin asked. {F- He thinks you are crazy. Hang on. I’m calling.} “Oh.” He said as he got what Chan was saying. His phone rang. “Here, let us tell you together.” He answered and screen shared to the tv so everyone could see Felix. “Hey.” Felix drank in the sight of Hyunjin for a moment, a smile splitting his lips.
“Hey Jinnie.” Felix said.
“Are you sure about this?”
“I already told you to tell them whatever you need to.”
“Everyone, this is Felix. He shares my head. Literally everything I see, think, feel, taste and hear; so does he.”
“Hi everyone!” Felix said with a little wave. He could see them from Hyunjin’s eyes but not the screen.
“This is who you went to visit?” Chan asked.
“Guilty.” Felix answered. “I’m the one who texted you.”
“Tell us everything.” Changbin said, leaning forward and watching the expressions cross Felix’s face. Felix could see the intensity through Hyunjin’s eyes and smiled looking in the direction of Changbin though because he was on the screen, his image was mirrored so he looked toward Minho instead. The effect in his head made him laugh.
“When we connected I looked it up that night and saw just a few things.” Felix told them about the article he read that day and the few since. “We just accepted that we needed each other for whatever reason. We don’t know how long it will last but we are essentially one in the meantime.”
“So when you see me react to things weirdly, it's actually things happening to Felix.”
“What happened today while recording?” Changbin asked.
“I have an ex who left something at my door. He’s creeping me out. When you were recording was when I got home and saw it. Hyunjin is protective of me.”
“What were we recording?” Changbin asked curiously, wondering if Felix could answer. Felix instead rapped Jinnie’s line with his deep bass. Then he laughed at the looks of shock.
“You should see your faces.” Felix giggled.
“You can see us?” Chan asked.
“What he sees, I see so yeah.” Felix answered with a shrug.
“And you two have been talking all this time?” Seungmin asked.
“Yeah.” Hyunjin said.
“And you went to go visit him?” Chan asked.
“Yeah, he finally broke up with his boyfriend and I went to go spend time with him.” He paused at the look on Chan’s face. “Hyung, I hear his every thought. I know how the relationship was. I know what he felt for the asshole and what he feels for me. We fell in love.”
“You LOVE him?” Jeongin asked.
“Pretty hard not to.” Hyunjin said sheepishly. “When you are in a mind as sweet, loving and pure as his; it's impossible not to love him.” {F- You are impossible not to love too Jinnie.} “Thank you, Lixie.”
“Thank you for what?” Seungmin asked.
“He said I was impossible not to love too.” Hyunjin said with a blush.
“He’s right Jin-ah.” Changbin agreed. “You are.”
“Can we meet him?” Jisung asked softly and Hyunjin looked over in surprise. He realized neither Jisung nor Minho had really said anything during this whole thing. Jisung was holding Minho’s hand and his grip looked quite tight. Minho’s other arm was around him, rubbing his back comfortingly.
“You want to meet me?” Felix asked in wonder.
“Of course we do.” Chan answered firmly. “You are obviously very important to Hyun-ah so of course you would be important to us too.”
“But you don’t like meeting new people.” Felix said to Jisung then blushed fiercely. “I mean…I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean that badly. I just…”
“I get it.” Jisung said and gave a small smile. “If you are in hyung’s head, you know about all of us. You know about my anxiety around strangers. But you aren’t really a stranger. You would know us through him. We don’t know you but you definitely know us. You know about me and Minho.” He looked at his boyfriend who kissed his temple.
“Yeah.” Felix answered. “You two are beautiful together.” He said honestly and Jisung gave a brilliant smile.
“I would like to meet the man who has to share our drama llama’s head.” Minho said with a straight face. Felix laughed. He knew from Hyunjin’s thoughts that Minho’s humor was dry but that he was full of love for his brothers.
“I feel like I know you all already! I would love to meet all of you in person. You really want to meet me?”
“Definitely.” Chan said. His smile was a bit tight.
“Hyung.” Minho said. “Jin-ah would know if there was anything to be worried about.” He said gently. “And I don’t think the connection would connect a harmful pair anyway.”
“I would never hurt Jinnie. He is everything to me.” Felix said softly. “You guys have no idea what he means to me.”
"I won't let Felix come for an interrogation." Hyunjin said sternly. {F- He doesn't mean it like that baby.} {H- Maybe not but still.}
Chan looked surprised, followed quietly by shame. Changbin came over behind Hyunjin so Felix could see him. "Though Jin-ah has been quiet lately; because he was talking to you I guess," he grinned "I have never seen him happier than when he was telling me about you. I can't wait to meet you." Felix grinned back at him. "Also explains how he knew you weren't on the rebound."
Changbin turned to Chan. "I know you are wary of new people infiltrating us." He turned back to the phone. "He isn't a jerk, he's just protective." He explained unnecessarily.
Felix laughed. "I know. I don't take it personally."
Changbin nodded and continued. "Think about it hyung, this means Jin-ah has access to every single thought and motive Felix has. If Felix meant any harm to him, Jinnie would know.”
Chan took a deep breath and nodded. He moved behind Hyunjin so that Felix could see him too. “I apologize, Felix. I just always am the protector. If you had been a friend or a boyfriend I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. But knowing you are in the inner circle and know everything before I even get to meet you has me on edge. I’m sorry.”
“It's ok Chan….hyung?” he hesitated just long enough that it was obvious to everyone Hyunjin had told him to add the honorific and Chan laughed.
Chan switched to English. “It will at least be nice to talk to someone in English.”
Hyunjin smirked. “You could have talked to me all along in English. You have no faith in me hyung.”
The look on Chan’s face had everyone cracking up. “When did you learn English so well? You used to have to plan out everything you wanted to say and practice forever.”
“Sharing Lix’s head has perks. As long as he is awake, I can speak and read English without problems. Also, Lix doesn’t speak Korean.” Everyone immediately stared in surprise at the streamed image of Felix who laughed, full of sunshine and radiating happiness. “He can only speak and understand it when I am awake.”
“This is so cool!” Jeongin said.
“It's convenient. Now I have double the targets when I’m torturing Jin hyung.” Seungmin said straight faced.
Hyunjin’s smile dropped immediately. “Guys, be careful with him. He’s fragile and to be protected at all costs.” He turned to Minho. “Please be careful with him. Felix wears his heart out there and holds it out to everyone he meets. He is so easy to love but also easy to damage.”
“Jinnie, it will be ok.” Felix said gently. {H- I won’t let them hurt you.} {F- They wouldn’t hurt me because it would hurt you. They may play around but you know any of them would do anything for you.} {H- I’m being overprotective aren’t I?} {F- A bit. But you are kinda sexy being all protective like that.} Hyunjin laughed.
“I love you Lixie.” He said.
Felix grinned and blew him a kiss. “I love you too Hyunnie.”
The others looked confused at what they had missed. It would take some getting used to in order to process half of a conversation being out loud and the other half being silent. “So, when are we doing this and how?” Changbin asked.
“We can’t fly to Sydney anytime soon, unfortunately.” Chan answered mentally going over their schedule.
“The solution is for him to come here.” Seungmin answered. “We have a small break in the schedule in the middle of next month. Or at least we could if we compressed the rehearsals a bit. With a little hard work, we can make a four day holiday pretty easily.” The others could tell he was working it out in his head. “If hyung can convince the bosses that we need that time so they don’t schedule anything.” Chan nodded his agreement and they started ironing out plans. It was time. Felix would meet the men he knew so well already. He hoped they liked him. {H- They will love you.}
Chapter 14
Notes:
A/N Ok hello my lovelies! So first of all please know that this has been the plan all along and I have agonized over it and how my readers may respond. I hope that you like it and I hope that you continue reading. There are a few more surprises to come but this is the big one. This story is fiction and any resemblance to reality is coincidental. My story is now being translated into other languages which is so cool. Thank you for reaching out to obtain my permission and valuing all the authors craft that you help to spread. So many of you dear readers have reached out to me through various platforms to share your love for this story with me and you will never know what that means to me. I cannot thank you enough. Every single message makes my day. For alerts when I update (or just to chat) follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. Now enjoy...hopefully. Its happy I promise.
Chapter Text
The next few weeks passed slowly for them both. The group worked hard to ensure they could take the time off and Chan made sure the company knew not to schedule anything during that visit. Jacob made several deposits at Felix’s door and started calling him too. Felix wouldn’t answer the phone for him though. Vanessa and Arny were staples at his apartment and the more Felix got to know them, the more he liked them. They were a true safe zone for him and watching the two of them together reassured him that he and Hyunjin were definitely moving in the right direction. He still didn’t tell them about Hyunjin and they didn’t push for any details, seeming to realize he wasn’t ready to talk about his visitor.
When researching flights Felix started getting frustrated. Flights he could afford had hugely long layovers so that instead of a ten hour flight it was 24+ hours. Hyunjin kept trying to chime in that he could pay for the flight but Felix shut him down every single time. He would not allow Hyunjin to spend his money like that. A few days later he received a package from Korea and when he opened it he found a round trip ticket premium economy class non-stop. He would have gotten mad but there was a note attached.
~Hyunjin is freaking out because you won’t let him buy the tickets. I’m taking matters into my own hands. This is from all of us, not him. Don’t get mad at him please. Just take these and be glad we didn’t gift first class the way some of us wanted to and we can’t wait to meet you. Binnie~
{F- Tell Binnie and the others I said thank you.} {H- I will. They didn’t tell me.} {F- I know. I’m not mad. I just can’t wait to see you. And to meet them.}
Felix watched Hyunjin go seek out Changbin. “Thank you for sending Felix the ticket. He was arguing about me sending it.”
“I didn’t upset him did I?” Binnie asked worriedly.
“No. He’s ok.” He smiled. “We’re ok.”
“That's good.” Changbin smiled and reached up as if to touch Hyunjin but pulled back before he did. “I’m so glad you found someone who makes you happy.”
“He does.” {F- You make me happy too.} “He says I make him happy too.” He saw a look flash across Changbin’s face. “He knows about us.” He reassured his hyung. “He’s ok with it.” Changbin gave a relieved look.
“I was afraid to say the wrong thing.” He admitted. {F- Give him a hug for me.} {H- You sure?} {F- Yeah.} Hyunjin somewhat awkwardly leaned over and hugged Changbin.
“That's from Felix.” He said with a blush. Binnie grinned.
“Thank you Felix.” Changbin said to Hyunjin. Then Hyunjin’s face paled suddenly as Felix opened his door to a knock to find Jacob standing there. “What’s wrong Jinnie?” Changbin asked instantly. Hyunjin held up his hand asking for a moment and his hyung nodded.
Felix sighed when he saw Jacob. “What do you want?”
“You.” Jacob answered softly. “Always you. Look I know I fucked up but I miss you and I want you back.”
“That's not going to happen Jacob. I have no interest in coming back to you. I have moved on and found someone else who appreciates me in a way you couldn’t.”
“Who? The long, blond, pretty boy?” Jacob sneered. “You need a man.”
“He is a man.” Felix answered angrily. “Don’t talk about him.”
Jacob cleared his face instantly and reached out a hand to touch Felix. “Babe, I miss you. I miss fucking you and talking to you. You always make me feel better.”
“It's always about you, isn’t it?” Felix asked with a sigh. “It's never about anyone else's feelings or needs, it's only about yours.” He moved away from Jacob but put up his hand to block Jacob from moving forward. “That's why I chose him. He thinks about me and my needs all the time. He fulfills them before I even have to ask. I loved you, Jacob. I gave you everything I had in me and all it did was bring me down. I’m not willing to sacrifice my happiness anymore for anyone else.” Felix looked at him seriously. “I don’t mean to hurt you but you don’t want me, you want what I can give you and I have nothing else to give.”
Jacob’s apologetic look dropped and was replaced by rage. “Goddamnit Felix! I want you to come back. Now do it.”
“No.”
“You fucking selfish faggot!” Jacob yelled and slammed his hand to the door frame.
Hyunjin leapt to his feet, fists clenched and pulled out his phone. {H- I’ll calling the police.} {F- Wait. It’s ok. Just give me a minute.} Changbin stood beside Hyunjin, looking at him with concern.
“Leave. Jacob, Leave now. I will call the police if you don’t.”
“This isn’t over.” Jacob snarled.
“It is for me. Its up to you if it's over for you.” Felix said and stepped back and slammed the door. He watched through the window as Jacob threw a hissy fit before finally leaving. {F- It’s ok. He’s gone.} {H- I don’t like this. You aren’t safe.} {F- I will leave for Korea soon. He will lose interest when I’m not around.} {H- I don’t know if that is true.} {F- It’s gonna be ok Jinnie. It's gonna be you, every time.} {H- Baby, I’m not worried about you choosing him. I’m worried about him hurting you.} {F- I won’t give him the chance. I’ll figure it out.}
Hyunjin slowly relaxed and sat back down. Changbin said too. He took Hyunjin’s hand. “Is it Felix?” He asked softly. Hyunjin nodded. “Is he ok?”
“Yeah.” Hyunjin answered softly. “It was Jacob. He was trying to manipulate Felix into coming back to him and then he got angry when Felix told him no. I’m scared for him.”
“He’ll be here in less than a week. And in the meantime we can try to take care of him as much as possible.” Changbin said gently. Hyunjin nodded.
“I don’t want to lose him just after I found him.” He whispered. {F- Jinnie, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. You know every step of the way what's going on with me.} {H- I love you Lix.} {F- I love you Jin. Nothing is going to change that.}
The week passed and though Felix saw Jacob's car several times, and was followed to his parents as well, his ex didn't approach him again. It was nerve wracking to know he was being watched. He didn't know how Jacob even had the time for this.
Felix's mother fussed over his trip but sent him with care packages of several of her specialties as well as a package of fruits. Felix had to stop her from sending alcohol since the guys didn't really drink often. {H- She is so kind.} {F- Yeah she is.} He kissed his parents goodbye and headed home. He would leave the next morning for Seoul and he couldn't wait to see Hyunjin again. He thought he should be somewhat scared over meeting the others but he knew them so well already he just felt like he was seeing his long lost family. Felix knew they wouldn't feel the same way about him since they didn't share his mind but being in Hyunjin's head still made them family. They would learn to love him. Hyunjin was confident of it so Felix was too.
He was packed and ready for his morning flight. Hyunjin kissed his fingers gently. {H- This time tomorrow I will get to kiss you instead.} {F- I can’t wait.} He lay on his bed and watched Hyunjin with the others. Minho and Jisung were cuddled up on the couch together. While he watched, they looked at each other and kissed tenderly. Felix smiled. {F- They are beautiful together.} {H- Yeah. They have been in love since they met.} Hyunjin remembered when Jisung first saw Minho and kept raving about how beautiful he was. Felix laughed at the memory. {F- Was it really at first sight?} {H- Minho tried to resist…for a minute.} He laughed and the others looked over at him. “Felix.” He said in answer and he saw the smiles returned from them.
“Felix, we can't wait to meet you and tell you all the embarrassing stories about Jinnie.” Jisung said with an excited bounce.
“Don’t even think about it.” Hyunjin warned. “I will retaliate.” He narrowed his eyes.
Minho’s eyes tightened and he sat forward. “Air fryer Hyunjin.” He said and the flood of thoughts of the threat had Felix dying with laughter.
“He loves doing this.” Hyunjin said aloud. “Jisung instigates and then hides behind Minho. You’ll have to deal with it too.” He said to Felix. Jisung laughed.
“I can’t wait for the fireworks.” Seungmin said.
“Go to sleep, Felix.” Chan said. “We’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled at Hyunjin. {H- He’s right baby, get some sleep.} {F- Ok. Goodnight. I love you.} With a grin, Felix closed his eyes.
The next afternoon Hyunjin was busy cursing. {F- It will be ok.} {H- But I should be there when you get there.} {F- You can’t help it that you got called to a meeting.} {H- Maybe not but I have a feeling some of the others had something to do with it.} Hyunjin was looking at Jisung who had stayed with him and was looking a bit too innocent and busy on his phone. He watched as Felix nervously made his way through the airport and saw the sign with his name. He moved forward toward the large Korean man he recognized as one of their staff members. “I’m Felix.” He said softly.
The man bowed and Felix awkwardly returned the bow. “I’ll get your bags, let me show you to the car.”
“No, its ok. I’ll get them.” Felix said with a grin. He moved to the luggage carousel and when he saw his bags passing he grabbed them but the man took them from his hands each time. “I can get them.” He protested.
“I was asked to do this.” The man said with a straight stern face. “Hwang Hyunjin-shi insisted I take good care of you.” Felix’s smile turned tender at that. “I am to take you to the dorms.”
“Thank you.” Felix said with a smile and the man’s eyes crinkled as he smiled back.
Felix looked around at everything as they drove. Everything was so different and beautiful. When they pulled up to the building Felix took a deep breath. “I will bring up your bags, just go on in. 6th floor.” The man told him. Felix nodded and wiped his suddenly sweaty hands on his jeans nervously. He saw Hyunjin mutter to Jisung that he was in the elevator. Hyunjin was giving Jisung a play by play of how nervous Felix was and how afraid he was to make a misstep. He got in the elevator alone and pressed the button for six.
The doors opened and almost immediately the door in front of him opened and Felix saw Minho standing in front of him. "Oh. Um. Hi." Felix said with a smile. He wanted to hug Minho because he felt like he knew them all so well but he also knew he was a stranger to them so he held himself back.
"I think you could hug him. You know him and I don't think he would be too agitated about it." Hyunjin muttered.
"Hyunjin, are you paying attention?" The manager asked and Hyunjin snapped his attention back.
"Yes sir. I have a picture editorial scheduled for next month. I don't know why we had to have this meeting about it though." There was an edge to his voice not normally present when speaking to their managers. The man raised an eyebrow and Hyunjin flushed and looked down as Jisung hid his grin. The man continued.
Felix was surprised when Minho moved forward and gently hugged him but he broke into a grin and hugged back, relaxing. "I wasn't sure you would be ok with a hug so I hesitated." Felix explained.
"Hyunjin told us how cuddly you are so I guessed you would relax with a hug." Minho told him with a small smile. He looked behind Felix to the staff who had just arrived with his luggage. "Put that right inside. We will get him settled. Thank you." The man did as he asked and Minho led Felix into the dorm.
As they came around the corner several loud sounds burst out and Minho started laughing as Felix flinched. He heard laughter around him and realized the rest of the group were all there with noise makers and signs saying "drama Llama seeks Korean Aussie, apply for details." And "Ferret adoption signup" and Chan held one up that said "Aussies welcome". Felix laughed and grinned at everyone.
"Welcome to the family, Felix-ah." Chan said, approaching him with a smile. "Jinnie has told us you are a hugger, are hugs ok?"
"Definitely!" Felix said enthusiastically.
Chan folded him into a hug and he immediately felt warmth and safety. Chan tousled his hair as he released him and Felix grinned. "I'm so happy to meet all of you."
"We had to keep Hyung away while we met you for the first time." Seungmin said with a wicked smirk. {H- That little bitch! I'm gonna kill him. All of them.} Felix laughed and smacked Seungmin's arm.
"He says he is gonna pay you all back for this." Felix said. Seungmin just shrugged and didn't look remotely worried.
"Hi, Felix, it's nice to meet you." Said Jeongin.
"Hey Jeongin, did you get that game level figured out?" Felix asked, referring to a conversation Hyunjin had overheard earlier between Jisung and Jeongin. The younger man's eyes widened.
"Do you play?" He asked, his eyes almost disappearing with the most adorable smile.
"Yeah. I love gaming."
"Hell yes!" Jeongin said. "Jisung is gonna love a new opponent."
Finally the last man stepped forward, focused on putting on his watch. "It's good to meet you, Felix. I'm Changbin." He looked up and met Felix's eyes for the first time and time stood still and froze and Felix felt the mental explosion. {C- What the fuck was that?} {F- Who is this?} {C- Changbin. Felix?} {H- What the hell is going on Felix?} {F- What is happening? Too much. Too loud. I shouldn't have come. I fucked up everything.} {H- WHAT'S WRONG FELIX?} {F- JINNIE IS GONNA HATE ME.}
Felix was close to a panic attack. His head was so loud. There were too many people in his mind, he was going to lose sight of himself. He began hyperventilating and the others instantly jumped into action. {C- Whoa..whoa calm down.}
Changbin moved in front of Felix and gently touched him. "I'm going to speak out loud so Hyunjin knows what's going on. Hyunjin, Felix just connected to me too. He is having a panic attack. I think three voices in his head are just too many all at once. I'm going to get him calmed down. He isn't going to leave, right Felix?"
Felix's eyes moved wildly before finally settling on Changbin's. The older man held his hands and didn't look away from Felix's eyes. He exaggerated and breathed slow deep breaths. "Breathe with me Felix. It's gonna be ok, let's just calm down. Is Hyunjin on his way home?" He asked.
Felix saw that Jisung had immediately jumped into action at Hyunjin's first reaction. He had made excuses and immediately moved Hyunjin toward the elevator which they were currently on. He nodded to Changbin. "Yes, Jisung has him in the elevator and is bringing him." He said softly.
Changbin nodded. "OK. I know that was a surprise, I didn't expect it and I'm sure you didn't either. It's gonna take some getting used to but for now, let's just calm down a bit. Nothing is wrong and we will figure out between the three of us what is happening ok?" Felix sniffed back the welling tears and nodded. "Can I hug you? I need to hug you and I need Hyunjin to know I'm asking." {H- You connected to Hyung?} Hyunjin thought, finally getting past his initial confusion.
{F- I'm so sorry Hyunnie. Please don't hate me, I didn't mean to.} {H- I could never hate you baby. It wasn't your fault.} "Felix, Hyunjin won't hate you for this. You had no control over it." Changbin said. The others had surrounded them and were patting Felix's back and arms. Changbin gently engulfed Felix in a hug. Felix surrendered to the comfort of that hug. It was so different from Hyunjin's embrace. Hyunjin's embrace was immediate love and heat {C- Probably because you two already knew each other and were already attracted before you actually touched for the first time.} {F- That makes sense.} {H- What makes sense?} {F- Changbin said his embrace feels so different because you and I were already kinda together when we first touched.} {H- Makes sense.} Hyunjin thought. Changin's hug was soft and comforting. Despite his size he was gentle and so comforting.
"What happened?" Chan asked softly as Changbin rubbed Felix's back.
"Felix and I connected too and he is a bit panicky at the moment. It just got pretty crowded in your head, huh, Lix?" Felix nodded, face buried in Changbin's shoulder.
"Wow. That must be really confusing." Chan said sympathetically and patted Felix.
{H- I'm in the car baby, I'm coming. Please don't leave me.} {F- I'm not gonna leave. This is just a lot to take in. What does this mean for us?} {C- We'll figure out what it means. {H- We'll figure it out.}
“Should I order us some dinner?” Jeongin asked. “Would Hyunjin appreciate that?”
Felix laughed finally. “He can hear you.” Changbin grinned at him. The tension finally began to ease and they pulled Felix further into the room. Felix couldn’t stop looking at Changbin who hadn’t let go of his hand. His thoughts spun rapidly between thinking about Changbin who he couldn’t deny was very attractive but it confused him. He was head over heels in love with Hyunjin so being attracted to Changbin and having him connected to Felix too make Felix feel like he was being unfaithful or disloyal to Hyunjin. He was being eaten alive with guilt. {H- You aren’t cheating on me Felix. Please don’t think like this. I’m not happy about this, you know that but I don’t blame you, baby.} {C- I don’t know how Hyunjin is feeling, Lix. Can I call you Lix?} Felix nodded to Changbin. {C- But I know he wouldn’t blame you. Please don’t feel guilty.}
Felix was processing the words, but his head snapped up to look at the door. He let go of Changbin and he and Minho moved toward the door as Hyunjin and Jisung came in. Felix ran to Hyunjin who caught him as he leapt into his arms kissing him passionately. Hyunjin spun and pressed him back against the wall letting it help hold Felix so he could touch him. {F- I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. Please don’t hate me.} {H- Lix, I don’t hate you.}
“Felix. We all know you love him. This isn’t your fault.” Changbin said softly. Hyunjin pulled away from Felix just a bit.
“He’s right, Lixie. I don’t hate you. I don’t blame you. I’m a little jealous that someone else gets to share this amazing mind of yours.”
“Felix, maybe you just have so much love to give that you had room for another.” Chan said. Felix had tears streaming from his eyes as he bit his lip. {F- Could that be it?} {C- Sounds right to me. {H- Makes sense.}
Felix finally lowered his legs to the ground and turned to meet Jisung. Minho immediately put his hand over Jisung’s eyes and gave Felix a suspicious look though his mouth twitched with amusement. “Not this one. He’s mine.” He told Felix.
“But hyung…” Jisung whined. “He’s so cute!” There was a moment of silence as Jisung’s joke hit and then everyone was laughing and Minho moved his hand off. Felix looked at Jisung and grinned. “Hi Felix.” Jisung said. “Nice to meet you finally. Ignore him.” He gestured to Minho. “He’s all bark and no bite.”
“A little bite.” Hyunjin muttered and then laughed.
“Nice to meet you too Jisung. Nice to meet you all.” He looked at Hyunjin and then his eyes slid over to Changbin again. He had no clue where this was going but he wouldn’t leave Hyunjin. He couldn’t. The man owned him body and soul. He just didn’t know where Changbin fit into the mix. He guessed they would figure it out. {C- Don’t stress, we will all protect you. You are part of this family now.} {F- Thank you Changbin.}
Chapter 15
Summary:
Felix, Hyunjin and Changbin explore their new bond.
Notes:
A/N thank you all so much to the response for the previous chapter. I was so worried how everyone would take Binnie's joining but the response has been overwhelming and positive. Thank you all. I always intended this to be the three of them and tried to leave a few breadcrumbs without making it obvious. It appears I succeeded lol. To my author friends, thank you for your constant support and praise. To my discord friends, I love you so much. You have no idea. To my readers and the people who comment, kudo and find ways to tell me what they think of my story; you all mean so much more to me than you will ever know. You guys keep me writing. With responses like the last chapter, I couldn't help but get this done quickly. See Makirasan, I put down what I was doing and wrote the damn thing. lmao. This story is fiction and any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental. I do not know or own the characters depicted here except the ones I have previously mentioned. If you would like to be alerted when I update any of my stories follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter.
The thoughts have changed. Now Felix is Bold. Hyunjin is Italics. Changbin is underlined. My formatting is not transferring well so I am trying to find a solution but I read through this several times and think I made sure all the thoughts were shown correctly. If I can figure out how to put each person's thoughts in colors it would be even better. I'll keep trying. I'm not trying to confuse. Anyway, get to reading. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
They sat with the others for a few minutes before Hyunjin took Felix’s hand and went to grab his luggage and take it into his room. As soon as the door closed behind them, Hyunjin had Felix pressed to the door, the Aussie’s legs wrapped around him, kissing him as if he was a man drowning and Felix was oxygen. {H- Are you ok? Truly?} {F- Yeah. I’m ok. It just freaked me out, it's still freaking me out. He really wants to be in here right now. He’s very…protective.} {C- Yes, I am. It’s ok. I can wait to figure things out. Don’t worry about me, Felix. {F- I love you, Hyunnie. You know that, right?} Felix worried. {H- I know, baby.} He ground against Felix and groaned in pleasure. {H- I want you so bad.} {F- I want you too. We could have a quickie right here.} Felix suggested but Hyunjin cradled his face and just kissed him tenderly. {H- Not a chance. You deserve so much more than a quickie.}
Felix could feel Changbin paying attention to everything and could feel his desire and memories of his night with Hyunjin and his thoughts on Felix’s beauty as well. It was fueling Felix’s desire but also his guilt. Hyunjin could feel the whirl of emotions and though he couldn’t feel what his hyung was feeling and thinking he could hear and feel Felix’s. {H- It’s ok baby. Get to know him some and maybe we will figure out how this will work.} Hyunjin and Changbin could both feel Felix’s attraction to both men and his worry what that made him and what it would make the others think of him. {C- Felix, you aren’t a whore. Being attracted to both of us doesn’t mean anything. I’ve done some research since finding out about you and there has to be a reason we both connected to you. We will figure it out together. Just take some time to relax and get to know all of us in person and let us get to know you.} {F- OK.} {H- Ready baby?} Felix nodded. Hyunjin took his hand and led him out to the others.
Felix sat on the couch and Hyunjin sat on his leg and Felix wrapped an arm around the dancer. Hyunjin leaned back against him holding his hand. Changbin hesitated. {C- Is it ok?} He asked. {F- How do you feel about Changbin sitting next to me?} Felix felt the brief war of emotions and looked down in shame. Hyunjin looked back at him. {H- Lix, it's ok. I trust you and I trust him. The three of us will figure this out but for now, if you feel drawn to it, do it. I know how you feel about me. Whatever happens with him and your bond with him, that doesn’t change how you feel about me.{ Felix nodded. {F- It’s ok.} He thought to Changbin. The muscular man took a seat next to him, his muscular thigh pressed against Felix’s; warm and comforting.
Changbin took his free hand gently and held it. The men around him asked Felix lots of questions and started getting to know him. He smiled and relaxed around them. When dinner arrived their positions shifted a bit but no sooner was it over then his two connections resumed their seats. Felix couldn’t deny the feeling of love and fellowship that extended from the whole group. He found himself frequently glancing at Changbin who didn’t look at him too much. His thoughts gently probed Felix’s, getting a feel for who he was. It surprisingly didn’t feel invasive, just exploratory. Other than the initial punch of thoughts and the ones he intended Felix to hear; it was mostly quiet in his head. Felix didn’t know how, but Changbin’s every thought wasn’t on display the way his and Hyunjin’s were. It intrigued Felix.
The man was muscular but the thoughts that did come through were gentle and kind. He was an odd mix. His giggle immediately made Felix smile. It was adorably cute. {C- You think I’m cute?} He asked. Felix and cocked an eyebrow with a cute smirk. Felix rolled his eyes playfully. {F- You know I do.} Changbin grinned. By the time Hyunjin took him back to the bedroom, Felix had become fast friends with all of them. He and Jisung were already being compared as twins for their easy and infectious laughter. Minho had already gentled his usual approach with Felix, seeming to see him as more fragile or easily hurt than some of the others. Chan had taken Felix under his wing as an Aussie little brother. He finally understood why Hyunjin had told him he had nothing to worry about with Felix. The younger man’s infectious smile, laugh and his cuddly ways wormed immediately past all their defenses. Seungmin targeted the others, especially Hyunjin with his sharp wit seeming to delight in making Felix laugh. Jeongin smiled and went and got Felix drinks when he needed a refill and talked games and interests with Felix.
Hyunjin closed the door behind them and gently led Felix over to the bed. His hands slid under Felix’s shirt and began drawing it up before pausing. {H- Is it too uncomfortable with hyung in your head too?} Felix thought about it. It was kind of awkward but he wanted Hyunjin. He had missed him so much and wanted to feel his body. He wanted to remember what it felt like when they were joined by body as well as mind. He shook his head no. Hyunjin slowly removed Felix’s clothes, taking time to caress and kiss every ounce of skin he uncovered. Felix moved unbuttoned Hyunjin’s shirt and slid it off his shoulders as Hyunjin kissed him, his lips soft and loving. The heat built quickly between them and within minutes Felix’s toes were curling as Hyunjin slid into him.
Felix was catching glimpses of Changbin in his room trying to ignore the waves of pleasure pouring off Felix. He was laying on his bed trying to stop from touching himself but he couldn’t. Felix felt overwhelmed by the feelings coming from all three of them. He could feel Changbin’s hand sliding down into his boxers and moaned. Hyunjin quickly picked up the pace, unable to hold back after so long apart. {H- I’m sorry baby, I can't wait. I promise I will make so much love to you while you are here but right now I gotta…} {F- I know. Go hard baby, I need it too.} Changbin’s hand sped up to match the pace and he thought Felix’s name as a mantra. All of the different passions put Felix over the edge and with a loud cry that Changbin heard from his bed, Felix orgasmed. Changbin followed him when he heard Felix’s cry and Hyunjin shortly behind. Felix sagged in relaxation into the bed pulling Hyunjin close to him and stroking his back gently. “I love you so much Hyunnie.”
“I know, baby. I adore you.” Hyunjin hugged him close for a few minutes before he grabbed some tissues to clean them up. Felix drifted to sleep safe in Hyunjin’s arms.
Hyunjin heard a soft knock on the door a few hours later and when Changbin poked his head in, Hyunjin motioned for him to come in. “I’m not trying to horn in.” his hyung whispered. “But I need to be in here. I’m not trying to overstep. I promise I’m not. I’m just so drawn to him.” His voice was apologetic. “And to you.” He admitted softly.
Hyunjin smiled gently. “You want to sleep in here?”
Changbin nodded. “Please.”
Hyunjin gestured for him to get on the other side of Felix and knew he made the right choice at the blinding grin Changbin gave him. He curled up to Felix who snuggled back against him. “I get it now.” Changbin softly whispered. “I get why you fell so hard and so fast for Felix. He really is special. His head is just full of love and warmth and honesty. I didn’t know anyone could be like that.”
Hyunjin smiled down at the sleeping man between them. “Yeah. He really is something…someone special.” He looked back up at Changbin. “You are too though, you know that, right?”
Changbin smiled. “I wish it had worked out between us. I think about you a lot actually. I always wanted to see you happy. Now you are and I worry that I am interfering.” His face turned pensive.
“I’m not happy about it, I mean you know how possessive I can be.” Hyunjin said and then smiled. “But it isn’t your fault any more than mine or his.”
Felix moved against them both, grinding his ass against Changbin and his crotch against Hyunjin. He was asleep so they weren’t getting any of his thoughts but he was rapidly getting hard. He moaned softly in his sleep. He slowly woke and blinked up at Hyunjin with a smile. “Sorry baby, I was dreaming.” He gave a kiss to Hyunjin’s throat. “I was dreaming about us. It was hot.” His voice was deep with the rasp of his sleep and Changbin’s body reacted immediately making Felix suddenly aware that the other man was behind him. He froze. His thoughts spiraled between how hot it was to be between the two sexy men and how guilty he felt.
“Stop, Lixie. You need to stop with the guilt. Do I remotely blame you?”
Felix looked into Hyunjin’s eyes and pondered through his thoughts. “No.” He finally said.
“Does Changbin blame you?” Felix didn’t look at the other man but he did look at his thoughts and he finally shook his head. “Then stop feeling guilty. No one blames you so quit blaming yourself. You want him, he wants you, I always want you and you always want me so there you go.”
“What are you saying?” Felix asked in confusion.
Hyunjin and Changbin looked at each other over Felix. Hyunjin raised an eyebrow and Binnie hesitated and then nodded. “We both want you and we both know you want both of us. Let us take care of you.” He leaned forward and kissed Felix.
“But what about you two? This can’t be just about me.” Felix said.
“I will always want Hyunjin.” Changbin said and Hyunjin’s eyes widened.
“You still want me?” He asked in surprise.
“I always have. That night was perfect. There was just that missing piece so I didn’t feel like it was right to move forward. I thought you needed more than me.”
“Hyung…” Hyunjin was in shock. “I didn’t know that.” {F- Maybe you both needed me in the mix.} The errant thought went through Felix’s head and the other two froze. {H- Could it be?} {C- That makes so much sense.} The two men looked at each other over Felix and they each felt their minds open by one. {FELIX, HYUNJIN AND CHANGBIN- Fuck. We are all three connected.} They all thought. Hyunjin moved forward and kissed Changbin. {H- There is no one besides Felix that I trust more.}
Changbin gasped and kissed him back. When they finally separated it was to find Felix grinning between them. {F- So all three of us want each other, right?} Both men immediately agreed.} {F- Then can I get some kisses?} Both men jumped into action. Hyunjin kissing Felix and Changbin’s lips moving across his neck. {H- Roll over baby, let hyung kiss you.} Felix slowly rolled over and looked at Changbin. His eyes took in the sexy soft eyes, the gently curling hair, the muscular body and he licked his lips. Changbin leaned in and captured his mouth and Felix melted into the kiss.
The buildup was slow and sexy. Hands wandered and none of them paid any attention to whose hands were where, they just relaxed to enjoy it. Changbin and Hyunjin without even thinking on it made Felix the center of their desires. Hyunjin and Felix worked together to strip Changbin. When he was as bare as they were, Felix and Hyunjin just drank in the view. {F- Fuck. You are so beautiful.} Felix thought and Hyunjin immediately agreed. Felix’s tiny hands traced Changbin’s pecs and the older man inhaled sharply through his nose. Felix’s hand was slightly cold but it felt so good against his suddenly heated skin. {C- Can I touch you, Lix?} Felix’s responding yes was more of a sigh then a word but the other two could feel the want of it.
Hyunjin’s idea no more passed through his mind then the others were moving into position. Changbin lifting Felix’s thigh to drape it over his hip, opening him for Hyunjin who reached for the lube to prepare Felix. Changbin’s hand finally found Felix’s erection and Felix moaned in that deep voice that had Binnie’s own cock jumping. Felix’s hand wrapped around Changbin as Hyunjin’s fingers stretched him.
Hyunjin slowly slid into Felix and leaned in to kiss Changbin as his two lovers jerked each other off. The trio moved as one, thrusting and retreating together, each feeling the other two’s passion and that caused their own to build to levels they had never experienced before. {C- Fuck. Lix. Jinnie, is this what its always like between you?} {F- Amplified with you in the mix, yes. Feels so good.} {H- There has never been anything to feel this good, ever.} The other two agreed. Their pace sped up as soon as one had the thought or slowed when one needed it. Every wish was fulfilled as soon as they had the thought. Changbin and Hyunjin were learning each other’s bodies in a way they never had before. Changbin’s eyes slid closed as he thrust into Felix’s hand and felt Hyunjin fucking into Felix and brushing his prostate with every thrust. He felt it as if Hyunjin was doing it to him. He could feel how Hyunjin felt like he was both the fucker and the fuckee. It was everything he could ever dream of and well beyond. He moaned and gave himself over to the passion, no longer trying to hold himself back. {F- It’s ok Binnie, it's overwhelming the first time. Let go and cum for us.} {H- Let us see you cum apart.} Felix’s lips attached to his adams apple and he could feel Hyunjin bite into Felix’s shoulder. With a cry he came followed immediately by Hyunjin and then Felix.
Their sweaty bodies entangled as they breathed heavy and relaxed as they cooled off. {C- Is that how it always is?} “Nothing has ever felt that good.” Felix replied as he yawned. Hyunjin smiled and gently kissed Felix and then Changbin before getting out of the bed and disposing of the condom and getting a wet cloth to clean the other two. {H- What does this mean for us?} {C- I don’t know. I don’t want to come between you.} {F- But I want you too. And you want each other.} Then he thought maybe he wasn’t necessary. Maybe he was meant to bring them back together. He tried to block them from seeing his thoughts but he couldn't. They immediately hugged him close. {C- You are important Lix. I know I don’t know you very well yet but you are the integral part of the three of us. I don’t know where this is gonna go. I don’t know where I fit in to this but YOU are the most vital part. Don’t ever worry about that.} {H- He’s right, Lix. You are the love of my life baby. No matter what happens between the three of us, you are with me for as long as you want me.}
“How do you think the others will think about me?” Felix whispered worriedly. His thoughts gave away that he was worried the others would think he was a slut. {H- Baby, no one is gonna think that. At least none of us and no one else matters.} {C- If anyone ever thought that way about you I would happily make certain they knew how wrong they are.} Felix nodded and finally relaxed back into sleep. Felix rolled and wrapped himself around Hyunjin, pulling Binnie’s arms around him. Changbin threw the blanket over them all and they cuddled in to sleep.
Felix woke before the others and slipped out of the bed to go shower. He changed into a comfortable pair of sweats and a t- shirt and headed into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Chan was hunched over his laptop on the couch and he looked up as Felix came in.. “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you, I was just really thirsty.”
Chan smiled at the younger man and pushed his laptop away and stood. Felix blushed as he realized all Chan was wearing was a pair of black boxer briefs. “It's ok. Let me get you something. Do you want coffee? Juice?”
“Umm.. I can go get water out of the bathroom.” Felix said nervously, worried that he was intruding based on how Chan was dressed.
“Don’t feel bad, Felix.” Minho said from behind him and wrapped his arm around the younger man’s shoulder. “He is actually more dressed than usual.” he had guessed the reason for the blush.
“Oh!” Chan said finally realizing why Felix wouldn’t look at him. “I’m sorry. I usually tend to be… uh…”
“Naked.” Minho said flatly with a smirk. “Our leader is a bit of an exhibitionist. He put on those,” He gestured to the boxer briefs “in deference to you. We can offer you a permanent position in our home if it means he won’t blind us anymore.”
Felix finally laughed at that and relaxed and Minho grinned. “If it makes you uncomfortable I can go get dressed.” Chan offered worriedly.
Felix smiled and waved his hand to say it was ok. “No. I would prefer you to be comfortable, I just wasn’t expecting it. I had never paid attention to it in Hyunjin’s head because he doesn’t pay attention to it.”
Minho moved past him into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. “You want some coffee, Felix?”
“Uh, no thank you. I’m not big on coffee.” Felix answered politely.
“How about some tea?”
“Yeah that sounds great.” Felix smiled at the other man. Chan sat back on the couch and patted it next to him. Felix went to sit with him. “You working on songs?”
“Yeah. I work a lot.”
Minho carried in a mug of hot tea and set a plate with lemon, sugar and cream on it so Felix could doctor it the way he wanted to. He took a seat sipping his own coffee. “A lot implies he takes breaks and he doesn’t. Hyung is always working.”
Felix spooned a bit of sugar and put a dash of cream in his tea and sat back to sip it, relaxing and enjoying the flavor.
“So…” Minho said with an evil smirk. “Sounds like you three had fun last night.” Felix immediately blushed fiercely.
“Minho.” Chan said in a warning tone.
“What?” Minho asked, the face of false innocence. “It's interesting. I’ve never heard of three people connecting before…well one person connecting to two individually and so it intrigues me how it is working.”
“Actually.. Uh, Binnie and Hyunjin connected last night too so all three of us are connected.” Felix said missing the other part. Minho’s lips quirked at the new info.
“Wow so all three of you now?” Chan asked and Felix nodded.
“You’ve heard of people connecting before though?” Changbin asked as he came in, damp hair showing he had showered as well. Felix couldn’t stop his eyes from hungrily trailing the other man.
An expression flashed across Minho’s face before he blanked his expression. “Yeah. You guys made me curious how often this happens.” He said. Felix got the feeling he wasn’t saying everything but not knowing Minho well he couldn’t call him on it.
Changbin got his own cup of coffee and took a seat next to Felix, pulling the smaller man against him. Felix relaxed into his arms and smiled back at him. Felix turned back to the other two men. “Where’s Jisung?” He asked Minho. Minho’s slightly mocking smile turned tender at his boyfriend’s name.
‘He’s a night owl so he’ll be asleep for a while. He can’t wait to game with you though.”
“I can’t wait to game with him and Jeongin.” Felix replied. “I know it's probably a bit weird that I feel like I know all of you and I am a stranger to you. I hope that doesn’t bother any of you.”
“Felix, Hyunnie trusts you completely…” {C- So do I.} “So we aren’t worried about it.” Chan said.
“Jisung already adores you and he is the most introverted amongst us so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” Minho added. He headed into the kitchen and started putting together breakfast for everyone and the others settled into generic conversation, joined by the others as they woke up. When Hyunjin came in, Chan moved to make room for him next to Felix. Finally Minho went to wake Jisung who joined them at the table, hair sticking up every which way and eyes barely cracked open. Minho thrust a coffee cup in his hand and Felix laughed as he watched the caffeine work its magic.
“Felix we were thinking about today and wondering if you were wanting to sightsee while you were here or if there was something you were wanting to do.” Chan said, trying to organize the day.
“He is still tired.” Changbin said quickly, answering for him. “He wants to hang around the dorm today. Tomorrow might be better. He wants a chance for us to get to know him.”
“You already do.” Jisung quipped and Felix blushed. “So inquiring minds want to know. How was your threesome? You know, other than loud.” He gave a teasing grin and Felix blushed again.
“Jisung. Shut up.” Hyunjin said and Minho raised an eyebrow.
“Hyung, can you pass me some napkins?” Minho asked sweetly. Hyunjin blanched dramatically and Felix finally laughed. He loved their fake antagonism with each other. It was loving and funny all at the same time. No one was treating him like a whore the way he had feared and he fully relaxed that here he was safe from judgment.
“Our threesome was great. Thanks for asking. Orgasms all around.” Felix quipped back with a grin. Chan choked on his coffee.
“You look so innocent.” His incredulous tone matched his astonished expression as he looked at Felix.
“What can I say? Our boy is multifaceted.” Hyunjin replied looking affectionately at Changbin over Felix. The other man nodded with a smile and mussed Felix’s hair. Felix just grinned and settled back to get to know the others. He, Jisung, Jeongin and Seungmin made plans to game together that afternoon. Felix ate his breakfast and enjoyed his time with the men who already felt like his family…and his two lovers.
Chapter 16: Chapter 16
Summary:
The guys all get to know Felix and spend some time with him and they get a surprise.
Notes:
A/N hello my lovelies! As you can tell, I have been working on getting this story coded for colored lettering for the thoughts to make it easier to discern. Now Felix has red thoughts, Hyunjin has green and Changbin is blue. I haven't succeeded in doing this on wattpad yet but I'm trying. If you have any ideas let me know. This is dedicated to my fellow witches; iykyk. If you want to be alerted when I update you can follow me on twitter at _eyes_wideshut. I do not know or own the characters here except any previously named (which do not appear in this chapter). This story is fiction and is a product of my own twisted imagination. Your feedback means the world to me so if you like what I write please let me know. I am very sorry for the delay in writing. I have no excuses beyond life taking a bite lately. I hope you enjoy and please forgive me...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Remember that {F- These are Felix's thoughts} {H- These are Hyunjin's} and {C- These are Changbin's.}
“GET IT GET IT!”
“I got him, FUCK!”
The room was full of the sounds of yelling and cheers as the battle raged and Hyunjin watched with a smile at Felix’s tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration as a game battle royal went on. It was Felix and Jeongin against Seungmin and Jisung. When Jeongin sniped Jisung, Felix jumped to his feet and tackled Jeongin with a hug.
“Awww, I demand a rematch! You totally got me through the wall, that's cheating!” Jisung yelled. Changbin chuckled as he watched Felix cuddling Jeongin who was tolerating it better than usual. It appeared no one was safe from Felix’s charms.
“I think we should go do karaoke.” Chan suggested and everyone’s eyes snapped to him.
“YES!” Jisung yelled.
Felix threw himself on Hyunjin and kissed him. {F- I love them so much.} Hyunjin brushed his hair from his face tenderly. {H- They love you too.} {C- You have captured us all, Lix.} Changbin watched them with a tender look. The group all went to get ready to go out for karaoke. Felix put on some jeans and a t-shirt and kissed Hyunjin’s shoulder before heading into the kitchen to get some water. Minho and Jisung were cuddling on the couch together, their fingers gently playing with each other, Jisung’s head on Minho’s shoulder and the elders leg slung over the younger. They looked adorable and very comfortable. As one they looked over to Felix. “Hey.” He said with a smile to them.
“Hey Lix.” Jisung said with a smile. Minho just looked at him. If Felix hadn’t spent so much time in Hyunjin’s head he would have thought the other man was angry but he knew better, he knew that Minho was more like deep, still waters. His outside didn’t always reflect his actual emotions. “You ready for karaoke?”
“Yeah. I’ve never done it before but I’ll have fun I’m sure.” Felix smiled. “Is it ok if I get some water?”
Minho gave a soft smile. “Felix-ah, you are welcome to anything you want. You are part of us now. Your connection with Hyunjin and now Changbin puts you in a rather unique position.”
“Almost like you're an eighth member!” Jisung said excitedly while bouncing a bit in place. Felix grinned at him.
“I can’t sing like you guys can and I definitely couldn’t handle you guys schedule but I love being here with all of you.” He went and got a bottle of water out of the fridge and opened it, taking a sip as he sat down with the couple. “I feel like I know you all already but I’m sure for you guys it has to be a little weird having this stranger who knows you all so well just thrown into the mix.” He gave a rueful smile.
The couple shared a look and then looked back at Felix. “It’s less weird to us than you might think.” Minho said with a bit of a smirk. “Hyung was probably the most thrown by it but that's because he is a control freak so the fact Hyunjin wouldn’t tell him anything and then went to visit you just had him on edge.”
“I just have to protect my kids.” Chan responded as he came in. “Besides, don't pretend you didn’t love the fact Hyunnie wasn’t telling me anything.”
Minho’s smirk grew and Felix could practically see the devilish little horns poking out the top of his head. “I would never pretend I don’t relish in your frustration over things being withheld.”
Chan laughed. “You will end up being the death of me.” He said with a fond look.
“I believe in the corruption of the innocent. Jin is usually fairly incorruptible.” He gave an appreciative nod to Felix. “Until you of course.” Then he looked Felix over a bit. “You are interesting. You have made Jin more corruptible but yet you seem so innocent.” Felix immediately blushed but his mind flew back to the things Jacob always used to say.
“That’s a bit of a touchy subject for Felix.” Changbin said as he came in, immediately sitting next to Felix and cuddling against the smaller man. He touched Felix’s cheek gently as he saw the memories flying through Felix’s mind. “That's what the asshole used to call you to belittle you?” He asked softly. Felix bit his lip and nodded. “Can we not call Felix innocent please. He doesn’t like that.” He said the others.
“Felix,” Minho’s voice was quiet and serious. Felix looked over at him. Minho leaned forward and touched his hand gently. “I wasn’t trying to belittle you at all. I apologize. We wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Yes we would.” Seungmin said from the door and Felix looked over in shock. Seungmin leaned against the door and the Aussie had no idea how long he had been there. “We do it all the time to each other. The difference is we don’t do it with malice. We needle each other constantly but never anything that will really hurt. We will pick on you but never with the intention to actually hurt you and if a topic is off limits just tell us. We now know that you don’t like being called innocent. We will steer clear of that one.” Seungmin smiled and Felix was blown away by the beauty of that smile.
The rest of the group joined them and they headed out to the cars Chan had arranged. {F- Seungmin is so smart and beautiful. Why does he hide that amazing smile so much?} Changbin who sat on one side of Felix looked over at the man in question, he could hear no attraction in Felix’s thoughts. It was more that he just adored everyone he met and wanted them to be happy and fulfilled. {C- He had braces for a few years and people made fun of his smile. He started to cover his mouth more and more. He got them off recently and he still only smiles around us.} Felix made up his mind he was going to make it his mission to have Seungmin realize how beautiful he was. Changbin looked at Hyunjin {C- Ok I totally see what you mean. He just loves everyone intensely all the time?} {H- Yep. He has no idea how to care for himself but give him a split second idea of how to care for someone else and he is jumping in completely.} {F- I can hear you both.} {H- We know.} {C- You are just too good to be true.} Felix blushed fiercely. {F- I'm nothing special.} Changbin gave him a look. {C- Yes you are!} {H- He doesn’t see it hyung. I’ve been trying to show him.} {C- Then we will show him together.} Felix looked between the two and then leaned forward and put his Chin on Jeongin’s shoulder. The maknae looked back and smiled, those gorgeous dimples popping out.
They poured out of the vans excitedly when they arrived, both Hyunjin and Changbin took his hands and pulled Felix into the building. They were led back to the largest room and Felix looked around in awe. There were disco balls throwing colors around the darkened room, large monitors which would display the lyrics. Several couches that made for plenty of seating and a small area from which you could order food and beverages to be delivered to you. Without ever waiting; Jisung, Jeongin and Seungmin were already trying to agree on a song together. Felix sat next to Chan and hugged him. “It’s so exciting getting to hang out with another Aussie all the way over here. I am sorry we hid who I was from you though. I didn’t intend to hurt you with that.” His face was so sincere and he was speaking in English but Changbin and Hyunjin were able to understand every word due to their connection.
Chan looked over at Felix with a fond smile. “Hyunjin was right, you are incredibly sweet. And it’s good to be able to speak English. Minnie and Jisungie speak it too but it’s your native language so it's different. And don’t worry about hurting me. The guys love an opportunity to get one over on me. I’m sure Jinnie saw it as an added perk.” He laughed. Felix grinned and cuddled close. Chan’s arm went around him and Hyunjin immediately recognized the look. Chan was already falling under the Felix spell. The two Aussie’s fell into a conversation about the neighborhoods they grew up in and their favorite haunts.
Changbin sat down next to Hyunjin. “How are you feeling about all this?” He asked softly.
Hyunjin looked over at him and Changbin gently tucked his hair behind his ear and Hyunjin smiled at him. “I don’t know how to feel to be honest. Back when we hooked up it felt so good and I definitely had a good time. When I met Felix it felt so right but having him know my every thought freaked me the hell out. I was kind of rude at first but pretty quickly saw that he was…well you see how he is.”
Changbin laughed. “Yeah, he’s pretty impossible to not like.”
“The longer you are in his head the more you will see that. Like when I remembered our night together when we talked while I was visiting him. He could have completely freaked out but we sat and talked. He listened and took the time to understand my point of view. He looked at my memories and he understood what had happened between us. He treated me with understanding and love in spite of what he was feeling. I couldn’t have done it.”
“He is…” They both looked over at Felix who met their gaze and smiled but blushed a bit. “He is something special.” He looked back to Hyunjin. “But Jinnie, I know how possessive you can be. How are you going to feel about me with him too? I worry how this will affect us. You are important to me and I won’t do anything that would hurt that.” He could feel the waves of happiness and love from Felix at that thought. {F- I don’t know how I got so lucky to connect with TWO amazing men. I will do whatever I need to. I want to get to know Binnie and I want to be with you….with you both. However, that can work. If it is friendship only I can accept that, I just don’t want to lose either of you. You both are so beautiful and talented. I just hope some of it rubs off.} The two men rolled their eyes. {C- He seriously doesn’t see himself at all does he?} {H- Not even a little.} {C- We are gonna have to fix that.} {H- Agreed.} Hyunjin grinned at Changbin who raised an eyebrow and nodded.
The group had a great time though Felix refused to sing with them. Finally they put on God’s Menu and the whole group got up to sing it. Felix laughed from his seat as he watched. This had to be one of his favorite songs of theirs. When Hyunjin’s cooking like a chef line came up he couldn’t wait anymore and sang the line. The room went silent and everyone turned to look at him. Felix immediately flushed bright red and looked down in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry.” He said softly. “I didn’t mean to ruin it.”
“Ruin it?” Jisung asked. “That was fucking amazing! Get up here!” Minho came over and grabbed his hand, pulling him to his feet. They restarted the song. Felix awkwardly started kind of doing the choreo with them but felt like an idiot. When the part came up again, Felix sang it, confidence growing a bit. Then they got to the longer part towards the end where Minho did a deeper part just before the chorus and again Felix sang it. When the song finished everyone was quiet and staring between each other and Felix.
“That was awesome!” Jisung yelled and jumped at Felix, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek. “You sound so good with us.”
The rest surrounded him too all clapping him on the back and showering him with praise. {F- Was I…you know. Was it ok?} {C- Felix that was fucking AMAZING!} {H- You sounded like you were meant to be singing with us! I didn’t know you could do that. I mean I knew you could sing but damn!} Felix’s smile grew as he filled with pride at the words being said to him in his head and by the men around him.
“Any interest in joining a kpop group?” Chan asked, halfway seriously.
Felix laughed in self depreciation. “I don’t really. I’m happy with my job.” He said with a smile. “Thank you for the compliment though.”
Feeling how self conscious Felix was getting/ Changbin whined about how hungry he was. Everyone immediately diverted attention to arguing amongst themselves between staying and heading to a Korean barbeque nearby. Finally Chan spoke softly and everyone immediately got quiet and turned their attention to their leader. Felix was awed by the command he immediately had when he turned on leader mode. “We have had our fun here but it is time to get something to eat. Let’s head to our favorite spot and show Felix more of our favorites. Maybe we can come back again before he leaves.”
With a minimum of complaint everyone gathered their things and everyone laughed as they headed out. Felix sidled up to Seungmin and linked arms. “You should stop hiding your smile.” He said softly and Seungmin looked over at him and raised a brow. “You have a beautiful smile. It spreads such joy. It’s a shame to lock it away.”
“I tell him that too!” Jeongin said with a grin from Seungmin’s other side. “Maybe he will listen to you.” He winked and ran up to join Chan.
“Thank you.” Seungmin said softly. “These guys say it all the time but I have seen comments people have said about my lips and my smile and it makes me self conscious.”
“I get that. My ex told me all the time how fat I am.” Seungmin immediately froze and stared at him. Felix rubbed his neck nervously. “Jinnie tells me that I’m not…”
“You aren’t.” Seungmin said bluntly. “You are tiny.”
“Ah well….I mean… I was just.” He blushed. “I wasn’t meaning to turn the conversation to me, I was just trying to point out that I know how easy it is to internalize other people's comments. I’m trying to work to get past mine. One thing Jinnie has taught me is to try to listen to the people who care about me and who I care about. He taught me that those are the people we should listen to when the voices in my head are telling me otherwise.”
Seungmin looked at him with a smile growing. “I see what they see in you. You are like a ray of sunshine.” Felix grinned at him and then put his head on Seungmin’s shoulder happily. Seungmin laughed. “We’re keeping him.” He called up to Chan. Felix giggled happily.
They sat and ordered their food and Minho began grilling the meat. While he looked, Jeongin took the first bite. Felix looked around curiously wondering what was happening. {C- It is Korean tradition that the eldest starts the meal.} {H- Chan decided from the beginning that he didn’t like that rule. To turn it on its head, he insisted Jeongin start the meal since he is the youngest. So in our group when we eat together, Jeonin always takes the first bite.} {F- Oh! I like that.} He looked over at Chan. {F- He is a very good leader who makes sure you all know your worth.} Exactly.
Once Jeongin had taken a bite, Minho offered the next piece of meat to Felix even though Jisung was making little begging sounds. Minho raised an eyebrow at him as Felix took the succulent meat and chewed it with a happy groan. “Hyung!” Jisung whined. “You always feed me next.” Felix laughed.
“He is our guest Jisung.” Minho chided gently. But he softened the blow by feeding Jisung the next piece. He fed each of them a piece before allowing the remainder to be divided up between the rest. He took his seat and began to eat.
“So how are things working between you three?” Chan finally asked.
Felix, who was sitting between Hyunjin and Changbin, looked up at him. “It's ok. We are figuring things out.” He answered softly.
“It was too loud for you at the beginning, how is it now?”
Felix looked between the two he was connected to. “It's better. Honestly I was so scared it was going to be too loud and it was at first. But Binnie got pretty quiet. I hear Hyunjin all the time and he hears me. But for the most part, Binnie is very quiet. I only hear his thoughts when he is thinking them to us and not every thought.”
“Yeah, me too. That's kind of weird. How do you do that hyung?” Hyunjin asked. “I haven’t thought about it but it's the same with me.”
“I don’t know.” Changbin said with a shrug. “I worried it was gonna freak Felix out and make him leave. So I just kinda…I don’t know…quieted my thoughts?”
“You’re a blocker.” Minho said flatly. “You are a natural blocker. You don’t share anything you don’t choose to share. It’s a rather hard thing to learn.”
“How do you know about this?” Hyunjin asked in shock.
“He knows better than anyone.” Jisung said.
Felix, Changbin and Hyunjin’s minds whirled through thoughts and memories. Times Jisung or Minho seemed to know what the other was doing even when they weren’t together. The way they looked at the door just as the other entered the room as if they had known they were about to walk in. The way Minho had told Hyunjin that he and Jisung weren’t the norm when they had talked in the dance room. How the pair had stared at each other at the first meeting as if they had been struck by lightning. The way Minho knew how to greet Felix instinctively. The way Minho always knew when Jisung was having a panic attack even when he wasn’t near. The way Jisung had reacted to get Hyunjin home almost at the same second Hyunjin had reacted to Felix connecting to Changbin. The way all the others had been full of questions about how their connection worked but yet neither Jisung nor Minho had asked a single question. {F- What the fuck?} {C- Seriously? How did they hide this?} “HOOOLLLY SHIT!” Felix said.
“Are you two connected?” Hyunjin hissed.
Notes:
Don't kill me for the cliffhanger! Several of you had guessed this already but I couldn't draw it out any further. So there you go.
Chapter 17: Chapter 17
Summary:
The reveal, lots of conversation and some decisions made.
Notes:
Hello my lovlies! I couldn't leave you with that cliffhanger for long so here you go. Also there was so much ground I needed to cover here that I couldn't find a good stopping point so it is a much longer chapter than I usually do however a lot is conversation and that moves quickly. I hope you like it.
This story is fiction, plucked from my own imagination. I do not know or own SKZ, the members, management or company. I write solely for the purpose of my own enjoyment and I make no money off my writing, please don't sue me. My works are only posted here and Wattpad at this time though I have given one person permission to traslate my works and post them (with credits) to another site but that has not begun yet. If you see my works posted elsewhere please let me know. If you wish to be alerted when I update any of my stories follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter.
To my fellow witches, I love you more than you could ever know. Whether we talk and bounce ideas or if your story just means that much to me; you inspire me to keep going even when I doubt myself. To the members of a rather Risque Stay group on fb; thank you. Chatting with you, sharing our thoughts and our love of various fanfiction makes me want to write even more. I'm so thankful I found my people.
Chapter Text
Felix, Changbin and Hyunjin’s minds whirled through thoughts and memories. Times Jisung or Minho seemed to know what the other was doing even when they weren’t together. The way they looked at the door just as the other entered the room as if they had known they were about to walk in. The way Minho had told Hyunjin that he and Jisung weren’t the norm when they had talked in the dance room. How the pair had stared at each other at the first meeting as if they had been struck by lightning. The way Minho knew how to greet Felix instinctively. The way Minho always knew when Jisung was having a panic attack even when he wasn’t near. The way Jisung had reacted to get Hyunjin home almost at the same second Hyunjin had reacted to Felix connecting to Changbin. The way all the others had been full of questions about how their connection worked but yet neither Jisung nor Minho had asked a single question. {H- What the fuck?} {C- Seriously? How did they hide this?} “HOOOLLLY SHIT!” Felix said.
“Are you two connected?” Hyunjin hissed.
End recap.
Chapter 17
There was complete silence for a heartbeat before there was an explosion of sound around the table. Chan banged his hand on the table once and the table went silent again. “I don’t think this is a good place to have this conversation.” he said, authority commanding his tone. “We head to the dorms and I think Jisung and Minho have some things to tell us. Family meeting time.” He gave them a stern look. Minho sighed but nodded.
{C- How could they have hidden this from us?} {H- They saw how much I was struggling with this.} {F- You didn’t tell them right away though.} {H- No but when I did, why didn’t they come clean?} Felix and Changbin could feel his hurt that they had left him alone with his confusion and doubts. {C- Jinnie, by the time you told them, you weren’t still confused or feeling doubts were you?} Hyunjin went through the time line and he had to begrudgingly admit that Binnie had a point. By the time he had told the group, he fully accepted and even enjoyed Felix’s presence in his head. {H- Doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have told us.} {C- I know. No wonder they didn’t ask any questions. The only reaction was when Jinnie and I connected too. Minho made that comment about not having heard of three people connecting before.} {F- Oh yeah, I had forgotten all about that! Maybe they just didn’t want me to know.} Felix bit his lip as he thought about it. {F- I mean, I already know too much about them anyway but to let a stranger know this too…} {C- Stop right there, Lixie. They could have told us years ago. This has nothing to do with you. Stop making yourself the bad guy in everything. Your own insecurities are putting things on you that you had nothing to do with. You are a good man. I barely know you and can see that. You deserve to be respected and appreciated for what you bring to the table and that means from yourself as well. No one elses opinions can be as pride filling or as hurtful as your own. You will never find your self worth until you allow yourself to.}
Changbin’s thoughts were blunt but not harsh. Felix curled in on himself a bit but they each took a hand and squeezed them gently. {H- See yourself as we see you, remember? Just like you were telling Seungmin earlier. Take your own advice.} Felix gave a rueful smile. {F- I’m working on it. Thank you.} He did a lot of self reflection during the drive. He focused on the thoughts Changbin and Hyunjin had of him and compared these to what he saw. He knew his self image was flawed. It always had been. When he was a kid he hated his appearance so much he had attempted to scratch off his freckles. In contrast, the two men on either side of him saw the freckles as adorable and seeing them made the men happy. The cheeks he had always thought were too chubby and made him look like a kid were only parts of his smile and happiness to the others. Instead they saw his jawline and how handsome he was. Jacob had filled his head with the fear of being fat and the two men beside him saw him as tiny and precious and someone to be protected and cherished. {F- I got so lucky with both of you.} Felix thought and squeezed their hands. {C- Right back at you.} {H- What he said.}
They pulled up at the dorms and filed inside. Everyone filed into the family room and took seats on the couches. Felix hesitated in the doorway. Chan looked at him curiously. “I know family meetings are for members only, I just wanted to make sure it was ok…” his voice trailed off. Chan’s expression changed from leader to a tender smile.
“You may not be a member, Lix, but you are definitely one of us.” He gestured for Felix to sit. With a grin Felix slid over to the open space between his partners and sat. Feeling his nerves, Hyunjin pulled Felix back against him and Changbin pulled his legs over his own, gently rubbing them soothingly.
“Ok.” He turned to look at the couple in question. “Is it true? Are you connected?”
“I thought it was pretty obvious.” Minho said flatly, though they could all tell his bravado was nervous. He cradled Jisung to him whose legs were jiggling in a sure sign of panic. Minho looked at him for a moment and Jisung met his eyes. They communicated silently for a moment and Jisung settled a bit and snuggled into Minho’s neck, sighing with relaxation.
“How have we never noticed that? We have all talked about their bond and the way they seemed to talk without words and even after my own connection to Felix, it never even occurred to me.” Hyunjin said softly.
“I knew.” Seungmin admitted softly. All eyes shot to him and he shrugged. “There were a few times Jisung told me Minho needed me in the dance studio but I hadn’t seen him on his phone or being able to know in any way. And then there was the time Jisung and I had been out all day and his cell was dead. He started feeling sick so we headed home early. When we got there, Minho had just finished the soup for Jisung he makes for us when we are sick. I started to pay attention to how often they responded to each other without speaking and I looked into possible reasons.” He shrugged again. “I found articles about connection and the more I read the more it made sense.”
Minho cocked his head at Seungmin. “You never said anything.”
“I figured you didn’t want us to know for some reason.”
Jisung finally chimed in. “We were so shocked at first and we didn’t want to hurt the chances to debut. We were so afraid that if word got out he and I would be cut for the relationship clause.”
Chan nodded thinking. “I can see how that would have possibly hurt things.”
“But what about after?” Jeongin asked, his tone reflecting the hurt he felt at not having been trusted.
“It wasn’t about you guys.” Minho said softly. “We had gotten so used to protecting the group by not revealing it we just kind of quit thinking about you guys not knowing. Everyone has commented on our bond. Hell you all call us MinSung even when it's just us. We share everything with each other. When have any of you not wanted a bit of privacy?”
That silenced everyone. They had all longed for that. “Minho was trying to protect me. He knew how much it would break me to lose him. You guys remember what I was like before him. I was a mess. He calms me. When he was cut I fucking lost it. I was barely holding it together. Hyungs you guys saw it.” His imploring gaze focused back and forth between Changbin and Chan. Both nodded thinking. “He levels me out. I couldn’t take the chance sharing it would end it somehow. I can’t lose him.” His eyes turned to Minho and they could all feel the love in the gaze. “He is everything to me. He is the love of my life and he shares everything he is with me. I couldn’t handle sharing that with anyone else. Even all of you. We all know if the company found out, they wouldn’t cut me. They would cut him. I won’t do this without him. Ever.” He turned back to the others. “I don’t ask for your forgiveness. I would hide it again.” He said nervously defiant.
“Jigaya, it's ok baby.” Minho told him. “You won’t lose me, not ever.” Jisung nodded and his eyes filled with tears.
“I get that.” Felix said softly. “But you kept it from Hyunjin even after you knew. You could have helped him.” There was an edge of protective anger in his tone. “You left him out in the cold when you had the answers.”
Jisung’s lips trembled a bit and the rest eyed Felix. His protective instincts toward Hyunjin was a surprise to them all. “I’m sorry.” Jisung said. “We weren’t trying to hurt either of you. We knew it would come out once we knew about you two. We kept trying to figure out how to let the truth out but there just didn’t seem to be a good time.”
“Then when Felix got here he connected to Changbin and that took precedence.” Minho added.
Felix nodded. “How scared are you right now?” His voice had gentled.
“Petrified.” Jisung said with a nervous laugh.
Felix got up and ignored his partners reaching to pull him back and even the glare Minho aimed at him. He moved towards the couple and sat next to Jisung. He reached out ignoring the low growling sound Minho let out; he touched Jisung’s hand. “I can understand. Minho is your rock and the fear of losing him is bigger than the worry over hiding this from your brothers.” Jisung looked at him and nodded.”I have no wish to pry and I’m sure we would all be willing to give you whatever privacy you need but any answers you have learned that you could share would mean a lot to Hyunnie, Binnie and I. We don’t know how any of this works and just like you are terrified, so are we. Can you please trust your brothers enough to tell us a little?”
Jisung fell against Felix, hugging him. “I’m sorry.” Minho’s gaze gentled at the tender embrace Felix held the love of his life in.
“We’ll tell you.” He finally said. “Just give him a second.”
Felix smiled again and hugged Jisung one last time before rejoining the others. This time Binnie pulled him closer. Hyunjin put his head on Felix’s shoulder while Felix nuzzled into Changbin.The elder patted his shoulder and kissed his head before reaching to Hyunjin’s head and patting it. Felix reacted to the touch to Hyunjin with a smile and nuzzled in. Chan looked at the trio and smiled. All worries he had about the three of them melted off his face.
“First, generally the connected need something from the other. If the needs are perfectly matched they connect. It isn’t as rare as it is reported. Most of the connected just keep it pretty quiet. You all know another connected group.” Minho dropped the bombshell and sat back.
“WHO?” Jeongin asked.
“Wooyoung and San confronted us at Kingdom and confirmed they were as well.” Jisung said.
“We think that Seonghwa and Hongjoong are as well.” Minho added “though they haven’t confirmed anything and we haven’t asked. We actually think there are several idols who are connected. We all see them, friendships that are extraordinarily close. We all see them, fans ship them and comment on them. Friends and couples who seem so in tuned they almost need no words.”
The others thought about their various friends in the industry and could each name several pairs that could be connected. Chan nodded. “Is it a really private thing for everyone?”
Minho and Jisung looked at each other. “The way our industry is makes it to where it has to be. They want fan service but too much and you are separated. You know how that is. The second they think there might be something real behind the fanservice the couple is instantly separated and forced into fan service with other members or kept completely apart and if they aren’t too big yet, one or both are cut. Makes it hard to admit that not only is there real emotion there but there is a genuine connection between you and feeling your partner's every fear tends to keep you pretty quiet.”
“But we are your brothers.” Seungmin said. “Why wouldn’t you trust us?”
“It's not about trust Minnie. Do you share your every thought with us? Do you want us knowing your deepest secrets?” Jisung said but his voice was pleading. The others could understand that point. Then Felix brought up a point that stopped everyone cold.
“Do you know of any idols connected to a regular person?” He asked quietly.
“No.” Minho said as gently as he could. “Our lives are hard and adding someone into them who is not part of our world is almost impossible.”
“Minho!” Hyunjin snapped. “Don’t scare him!” He turned to Felix. “Baby, we will make it work.”
Minho held his hands up in his usual I mean no harm gesture. “I don’t say that to scare or to be mean, Jinnie. You know that. I like Felix. Sungie even feels safe with him already and you know that anything that makes my Jigaya feel safe is going to be treasured and protected by me. Honestly it is because of Felix being a normal guy and not an idol that is pushing us to come clean. We want to help in any way we can. But this isn’t going to be easy. I won’t lie to you about that. Yeah, you share mind, body and soul but it takes a serious toll when you can’t be together.”
“What do you mean?” Changbin asked, eyes narrowing and body tensing.
“You guys saw how I was when Min was cut.” Jisung said. “It wasn’t just nerves over losing my soul mate. It physically hurt to be apart. We didn’t notice at first because we were already hurting but the longer it went on the more it hurt. That day when he was brought to practice after was the first time I hadn’t been filled with pain in days. It's like we need the recharge and then we are good for a while. It was only so bad in our case because the company wouldn’t let us speak at all during that time. It won’t be so bad for you guys but since he lives in another country, it's gonna get rough sometimes. Especially when we are on tour. It’s different for each group from what we have read. Maybe for you guys it will be easy. Maybe it's just my neediness that makes it so bad for us.”
“Well we have been apart far more than together.” Hyunjin said. “So Felix, how has the distance affected you?”
Felix thought back. “Well the headaches may have been that but there is no way to know for sure without testing though I will say I didn’t have any when you were visiting me and I haven’t had any while I have been here. This is gonna sound stupid but it's like the closer I got to you the more peaceful I felt.”
“I know what you mean. Even if I hadn’t watched you land, I felt different as soon as you got to Korea; more settled and whole.” Hyunjin said and Felix nodded.
“Exactly.”
“Shit. That's gonna be doubly hard with me and Hyunjin here and you there.” Changbin said. “That's bound to cause some hard feelings.” {F- Jealousy is gonna be a problem. The two of you together while I’m there is gonna cause some feelings whether I want them to or not.} {H- We will do whatever you need to feel safe.} {C- You are our priority Lixie. Whatever you need.} Feilx nodded.
“You will probably need to do a lot of travel back and forth.” Minho said.
“We will work with you to clear our schedule however we need to but that's only gonna work for so long.” Chan said.
“We will figure it out.” Minho said. “Felix is one of us now. When you two and now three connected he became part of the team. Whether he becomes an official stray kid or not, we have eight members now.”
“Does that mean I need to move here?” Felix asked worriedly.
“If you want to we will make it happen but if you don’t we will figure it out together. You aren’t just you anymore Lixie, you are us now.” Changbin said.
Felix nodded thinking. “I get why you didn’t tell them. I’m so sorry that I caused you to have to tell.”
“Nope. Not your fault Lixie, is it ok for me to call you that too? What's your Korean name anyway?” Minho asked.
“Yongbok.” Felix answered with a laugh.
“Yongbok. Good name.” Minho said with a nod of approval. “You are like my Sungie. You internalize and take blame for everything on yourself, don’t you?”
Felix started to shake his head no but everyone else in the room nodded. He blushed. “Ok..maybe I do.”
“He does.” Hyunjin said.
“Let’s take some time to sleep on this and process. This is a lot of info to take in. I’m sure Felix is overwhelmed and Jisung looks like he is close to panic.” All eyes snapped between the two men before turning back to Chan. “Let’s call it a night and regroup tomorrow. I would also suggest that the two connected teams have some time alone to discuss without us listening in. I’m sure there are aspects the rest of us won’t understand.”
“One more question.” Changbin said. “What did you mean about me being a blocker?”
Minho nodded as he processed the question. “You were worried your addition would cause Felix to leave and hurt not only him but Jinnie and your relationship with Jinnie, right?” Changbin nodded. “That worry allowed you to put up walls. The same thing happened with me when we first connected. From what I gather it's usually more of a learned ability over time but apparently you and I have it naturally.”
“So it's something we can learn?” Hyunjin said, sitting forward in his excitement. His connected knew that he wasn’t excited to know he could learn to block them entirely but more that he could have some semblance of privacy. {H- And not force you to taste my coffee.} Felix smiled tenderly at him for that.
“Possibly. I haven’t learned. I’m no good at it.” Jisung said, his voice full of shame.
“Jagiya, you never have to worry about blocking things from me. I protect you from the overthinking of my thoughts as well as yours. It's my privilege to protect you in this way. Never feel shame for allowing me to do what I was born to do.” Minho said softly.
Jisung’s eyes filled with tears and he lightly punched Minho’s shoulder. “Don’t be sweet right now. I’m emotional already.”
“Fine. Then sit there like a good princess until I tell you to speak.” Minho teased with a smirk.
“OI! I’m not a fucking princess!” Jisung roared but couldn’t hold back the laughter and the others could tell they were witnessing a private joke between the two.
Minho turned back to Changbin. “I’ll work with you on it and you can teach them.” Binnie nodded.
“Ok Kids. Everyone head to your rooms. Get some sleep and we will regroup in the morning.” Chan said in a stern voice.
In ones and twos they left the room. Changbin was one of the last to leave and he watched Hyunjin, arms around Felix, walking to his door. He watched them sadly. He knew they had had a night together but he had no idea where he fit in. This was all so confusing. He loved Hyunjin. He always had. Their night together back then hadn’t felt right but the night before had felt perfect. And Felix! Felix was beauty and sweetness all rolled together into the perfect combination. He had been giving a lot of thought to what they could be needing from each other. He felt like Felix needed validation. Not in a normal sense but Felix didn’t take care of himself at all, he cared for those around him. He needed people to remind him that HE was important too. That he was worthy of love and worthy of receiving the same things he gave out. He also needed protectors for that same reason. While he was capable of defending himself, he rarely would actually do so. Changbin felt like that was maybe where he fit in and also possibly why it hadn’t felt right with just Hyunjin.
Changbin loved to play and have fun with the others but there was always a need to be a protector. He looked out for the other members and taught them self reliance but he also loved being able to step up between any danger and them. Hyunjin didn’t need protection. He was pretty self reliant in that way so that left that part of himself unfulfilled. Until Felix. Felix DID need that part of him. With Felix he could be protective and soft at the same time. With Hyunjin he could relax and allow room for more creativity and thought. Hyunjin was deep.
Changbin knew that the fans often just saw the dramatic side of Hyunjin or the occasional idiot side; but that was such a small part of him. Hyunjin was all beauty, class, grace and creativity. Not in a bad way but more like he was elegant and thought deeply about things. He was happy to have fun with the others but he was also happy to spend several hours next to you, each reading or doing their own thing. He was easy to relax around. It was easy to let go of his worries around Hyunjin and let the man tell him why watercolors are superior to oils or why the romantic period was better than the blue period. That was what Hyunjin did for him.Hyunjin opened his eyes to the beauty of the world around him.
And Felix. Felix was softness, patience and compassion. Felix was all the happiness and love in the world made whole into a man. Felix’s softness evened out Hyunjin’s loner essence. It gave exactly what Jinnie needed without pushing too hard. It also gave Binnie someone he could potentially be softer with and still feel strong.Where Hyunjin opened him up to the beauty of the world, Felix enticed him to be part of it. It was like the three of them together made a perfect match. He could see it so clearly but he didn’t know if they saw it too and the last thing he wanted to do was force himself somewhere where he wasn’t wanted or better yet, where he wasn’t needed.. He smiled sadly as they kissed at the door. Changbin quietly headed to his own room but just as he went to open the door, Felix’s tiny hand touched his arm.
“You aren’t coming with us?” The man asked.
“I wasn’t sure if I should.” Changbin said softly. “I don’t want to force myself in.”
“Come.” Hyunjin said, his tone one of welcome, not command. “I think the three of us have much to discuss.” Changbin could feel no hesitation in either’s thoughts and so a soft smile crossed his face and he followed them into Hyunjin’s room. The three got ready for bed and then sat on it together in a circle.
“I want to be with you both.” Felix said softly. “I know how that sounds but it feels so right. I don’t want there to be hurt or jealousy. I know that will happen but I want to try.”
“I agree.” Hyunjin said and Changbin felt a wave of relief and love wash through him.
“You both really are willing?” Changbin asked, knowing from their feelings that they were but just needing the confirmation of the words. “For real, not just every so often?”
“We weren’t right because we needed Felix. The three of us together are right.” Hyunjin said with a shrug. “But we can’t tell what you think about it because you are keeping your thoughts private. We need to know how you feel about all this.”
Changbin looked between the two and with a bit of fear, dropped his walls. Felix and Hyunjin were immediately overwhelmed by all the thoughts and then as they slowed a bit from the initial onslaught, the three were processing through Changbin’s thoughts about the three of them and their needs. They both nodded excitedly. {F- That's exactly it. I think you definitely got it.} {H- I think you are right, hyung. The three of us balance each other out perfectly.} Hyunjin focused on a different part. {H- You have loved me?} {C- For a long time. I just didn’t think I was right for you. But I worry how that makes Felix feel.} {F- That the man I love and the man I am falling for, love and care for each other and me? That they waited for me before committing to this? How could I feel in any way but happy about that? You literally waited for me. Maybe you didn’t know what you were necessarily doing but you still did.} Put like that Changbin looked at their unusual connection in a new light. Instead of interrupting a relationship, the three of them were coalescing into a partnership. Each part integral to the whole. Looked at in that light, it was impossible to feel jealous. He smiled at each of them. {C- So we are doing this?} {H- I want to. I want to be with you both.} {F- I have the two most beautiful men in the world wanting to be with me and each other. I would have to be an idiot to not want it too and I am not an idiot. I’m all in.}
The three men fell together exchanging kisses. They were all exhausted by the long day and the emotions of the reveal that that happened but invigorated to be together and to have made a decision. For better or worse, the three of them were together. They would deal with the fallout and they would figure out how to make things work. There would be many details to work out along the way but the decision had been made and that in itself took a lot of the pressure off.
Changbin was lost in the sensations of hands and mouths touching him everywhere. It seemed that where the night before had been all about Felix, tonight his partners were making it all about him. They were welcoming him into the relationship. Felix kept touching and squeezing his muscles and marveling over his body. It made Changbin feel 10 feet tall and invincible. Hyunjin was focused on how safe Changbin made him feel and how sexy he found him. He apparently really liked the cut V leading to his groin. The two men worshiped his body, sharing tender kisses between them. Both mouths teasingly fought over who got to suck him until he hoarsely cried out to stop or he would cum too soon. Binnie’s fingers worked over both of them however he could. With Hyunjin it was mostly jerking off that gorgeous cock and Felix moaned prettily as Changbin’s fingers worked him open.
Hyunjin and Felix grinned at each other and nodded. Felix crawled up and straddled his hips. Hyunjin held Binnie’s cock in place and guided it as Felix sank slowly down, working a bit further each time, the ultimate act of sharing his lovers. When Felix was fully seated he took a moment to allow himself to just feel full before beginning to slowly ride him. Hyunjin kissed Felix and then settled to kiss Changbin. His hyung had other ideas however. As his hips thrust up to meet Felix, he jerked Hyunjin up to straddle his face. Hyunjin’s thoughts exploded in lust at the manhandling.
Hyunjin braced himself against the wall as Changbin gripped his hips and sucked him as deep as he could. Hyunjin looked over at the mirror where he could watch Felix’s expressions. The three of them could see how it looked for Felix to be riding Changbin, hands braced on the man’s stomach. How it looked from behind seeing Hyunjin thrusting into Changbin’s mouth. And Changbin looked up at the lithe muscular frame above him. It was overwhelming to all of them. All of them felt like they were being fucked, were fucking, were sucking off, and were getting sucked off all at the same time.
Thoughts were reduced to primal needs, all three incapable of words. Because of the amount of mental stimulation they were getting coupled with the physical it didn’t take long. Changbin tapped Felix’s thigh in warning but the younger man just rode him harder, angling himself for the prostate brush that had him moaning loudly. Reflexively as his orgasm hit, Changbin pulled Hyunjin in tighter, almost choking himself and the feeling caused Hyunjin to cum. Felix followed immediately behind, feeling both orgasms pushing him over the edge.
Hyunjin gently got off Changbin and lay beside him, wanting to be sure he hadn’t choked him badly. {C- I choked myself on your dick. You didn’t do it. That was the hottest thing that has ever happened in my life.} {H- Same.} Hyunjin said and snuggled into Changbin’s side, his hyung wrapping an arm around him. Felix lay his head on Changbin’s chest and the other arm wrapped around him. Legs tangled together and they all relaxed and caught their breath. Belatedly they could hear music pounding from either side of the room and realized the others had cranked up music to drown them out. {F- Oops.} Felix giggled. {H- Eh. We’ll get them all some noise canceling headphones.} {C- They all have them. If they chose not to use them, that's on them. Besides, I have heard all of them getting off at one point or another.} Changin grinned and pulled each man closer for a kiss before gently moving Felix off of him. “Let me go get you something to clean up baby.”
Felix and Hyunjin kissed gently, need gone, just enjoying each other and Changbin watched from the bathroom door with a smile after cleaning himself off. He was the luckiest man in the world. His lovers were everything he could have wanted and more. He made his way back over to clean Felix. They ended up with Changbin on his back and the two men laying on his chest happily snuggled in. Binnie had never felt this full of love in his life. Whatever insecurities any of them had had were not present now. Now there was nothing but peace, fulfillment and love. He kissed each forehead and with a smile, he finally allowed himself to follow them into sleep.
Chapter 18: Chapter 18
Summary:
Changbin and Felix have some special time alone and get to know each other better. Also Felix makes an unplanned contribution to Stray Kids.
Notes:
A/N Hello my lovelies! Here is chapter 18. I hope you enjoy. As always the comments you leave fuel my writing more than you will ever know and I thank you for them. This story is fiction, please treat it as such. I cross post here and on Wattpad. I am wrapping up Love is A Sneaky Bitch and am considering writing the Minsung companion piece to this telling the story of their connection. Let me know if you would be interested. For some reason my Minsung stories never get the love the other stories do. If you would like to be alerted when I update you can follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. Have a great day!
I got several comments and messages from readers who were finding the colors harder to read. I apologize. I was attemtping to make them stand out but I can definitely see how it is harder on the eyes and for color blind people it would be almost impossible. In order to fix this I am trying it out the way I have it on wattpad since I couldn't do colors there. Let me know if you like it better, worse or if I need to change it somehow. Now instead of colors I will have Felix bold, Hyunjin italisized and Changbin underlined as before but I have also put brackets around the thought with their first inital so you can see whose thought it is at all times. I really really hope this helps.
Chapter Text
Changbin woke up before Felix and Hyunjin and just watched the two sleeping. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have these two beautiful, intelligent and kind men wanting to be with him. Part of him wished that he had looked at Felix that first day too so that he could have had the time to get to know him as Hyunjin had. Yes he could hear Felix’s thoughts now but he felt slightly out of step because he didn’t know Lix like Hyunjin did. They hadn’t had the time before they met to share their lives and thoughts. Felix knew him a bit through Hyunjin but he knew little of the tiny man. He could tell already that his heart was the purest and most loving place that existed but he wanted to know more.
Felix was curled against him, thigh thrown across his legs, hair standing on end and face relaxed in sleep. Changbin didn’t think he had ever seen a more adorable sight. He looked over at Hyunjin. His Jinnie was curled to his other side, hand holding Felix’s thigh and head resting on Changbin’s shoulder. He was always amazed by how young Hyunjin looked when he was sleeping. When awake Hyunjin always had something of a wall up; not with his brothers but he was somewhat more reserved. He was quick to love and to trust but he also somewhat held himself apart in anticipation of being hurt. He had been hurt a lot but he kept it very quiet. Changbin was actually excited about his connection to Hyunjin, he knew he would understand and love the man even more with the additional input.
Hyunjin’s eyes slid open and met his. {H- Good morning.} Hyunjin’s thoughts, like his voice would be, were rough with sleep. {C- Good morning. How’d you sleep?} {H-Mmm. Great.} He thought with a smile and stretched a bit. {C- You’re beautiful you know.} Hyunjin’s smile grew. {H- So are you hyung.} Changbin went back over his thoughts of the morning and Hyunjin moved closer. {H- If you need time alone with Lix you can have it.} {C- Wouldn’t that make you jealous?} Hyunjin did him the courtesy of thinking about it. {H- I don’t think so. Besides, we will learn to live with any emotions. You deserve a chance to get to know Felix like I have. Why don’t you take him on a date today?} Changbin’s eyes lit up. {C- Really? That would be amazing Jinnie!} {H- All three of us have been monogamous till now. Now we are a poly couple so we need to learn how to have time individually and together. We all have relationships with each other that need to be nurtured and the first part of that is the two of you learning each other.}
{C- You are amazing, Hyunjinnie. I love you.} Hyunjin smiled sweetly. {H- I love you too hyung.} Hyunjin blushed. {C- What do you think Lix would like to do? I’d love to take him to the studio and show him what we do but I doubt he would like that or at least it wouldn’t be as interesting to him as it is to me.} {H- Felix will love anything you want to show him. He feels best when he is making those around him happy. But if you want to do things with him that he likes, he loves beautiful things, he loves sweets and he loves gaming and music.}
Felix gave the cutest stretch and blinked his eyes open. “Morning.” He said, his voice deeper than the ocean. Both men smiled at him.
“Good morning, sunshine.” Changbin said. “How’d you sleep?”
“Mmm. Great.” Felix answered sleepily. He kissed Changbin’s pecs. He grinned at Hyunjin as well.
“I was thinking you and I could go out today and I could show you around. Would you like that?”
Felix looked between the two questions. Hyunjin smiled and nodded that it was ok with him. Felix caught the memory of the conversation that had just happened. “Thank you.” He quietly told Hyunjin, his voice full of sincerity. Then he turned to Changbin. “I would love to. It would be nice to get to know you better. I know we are together because of this.” He tapped his head. “But I want to get to know this.” He touched Changbin’s chest over his heart. Changbin smiled at him in a somewhat shy smile.
“I’ll go shower and we can get going. I have some ideas.” He smiled at the tiny man. Felix grinned back.
Within an hour the two men were showered, shaved and dressed. Changbin took his hand and led Felix to the door. “I want to show you our studio. Producing is such a huge part of who I am so I wanted to show it to you.”
Felix’s eyes sparkled with joy. “That sounds amazing! I can’t wait to see.”
They decided to walk and enjoy the beautiful day. Changbin pointed out some of their favorite spots along the way. When they got to the company, the security didn’t stop them since he was with Binnie. They took the elevator up and then into the studio. Chan had apparently snuck out to work and stood up with a blush when they came in. “Oi! Chan, I thought you guys were off.” Felix said with a grin.
“Hey Lix, welcome to the studio.” Chan said with a welcoming smile before turning to Changbin. “You showing Felix our home away from home?”
“Yeah. I wanted us to get to know each other a bit and this is a huge part of my life.”
Chan nodded understandingly. “Want to hear what we are working on?” Chan offered and Felix nodded excitedly.
“Hell yes!”
Chan pressed a few buttons and a song started playing. He heard Jisung begin rapping and his smile grew huge. “Oh I like this one. I’ve heard Jinnie do a part or two for it I think.” He listened to the song and lyrics and nodded his head along to the beat. “Bom digi digi bom bom bom bom.” He half hummed to the beat. Within a beat the room went silent as Binnie hit the button to stop. Felix looked up in surprise and blushed when he realized both men were staring at him. “Oh.” He said softly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to mess you up, I just like the beat.” He looked down in embarrassment.
“No! Do that again!” Changbin said and hit the button to rewind it. The song started over and Felix closed his eyes to take off the pressure and let the music fill him again. When that part happened, Felix repeated his adlib softly. Both men nodded with huge grins, encouraging him. When the part came up again, Felix did it louder. When the song ended, Changbin looked at Chan with a raised eyebrow. Chan hesitated for a second and then nodded.
“Lix, would you be ok with recording that for us to add in to the song? We will credit you of course!” Chan added the last line in fast as if to forestall a denial. “We were needing something and we hadn’t figured out what.”
Felix blushed. “I don’t know. I’m not a singer or anything.”
“Please baby.” Changbin implored him, “it was perfect.”
Felix nervously followed Changbin over to the room next door. Changbin got him a stool and helped set him up. He squeezed Felix’s hand and went back to join Chan in the booth. “Just relax and get into the music, baby.” Changbin said over the microphone into the room. Felix nodded and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. He heard the music start. He closed his eyes so that he wouldn’t focus on what he was doing and just tried to enjoy the music. When the part came he gave his adlib. The music stopped. “This is exactly what we needed. Can you go a little stronger, baby? It's just for us for now. If you aren’t happy with it, we won’t use it.” Felix met his eyes and nodded.
The music started again and Felix lost himself in the music and this time when he felt inclined, he let the tune carry him and his voice came out deep and loud. He saw the two producers nodding happily and when the chorus came up again he sang it again. The two men on the other side of the glass looked like they were over the moon happy about it. “Perfect Felix!” Chan said happily. “Thank you so much!”
Felix grinned and took off the headphones, setting them on the stand. He went back into the other room and Changbin jumped up and kissed him. “That was amazing!” Felix melted into his arms, feeling at once safe and cared for in these strong arms. “Now, lets go take you somewhere else and let you enjoy the day.”
“It's ok Binnie, if you want to stay here, we can or I can go back if you need to work some more.” He chewed his lip, suddenly nervous. {C- Stop that, Lixie. I can work anytime. I want time with you. I just wanted to share the studio with you. I don’t want to spend the day here. I have plans.} He grinned and Felix relaxed and smiled back.They said goodbye to Chan and headed back to the elevator.
Once on the street again, Changbin steered him to the bicycles to rent. He put the helmet on Felix’s head and did the chin strap while Felix watched him in bemusement. {C- Shut up. It makes me happy to take care of you.} {F- Its cute Bin.} Changbin got on his own bike and they were off. They rode their bikes around the city before Changbin led him to a nearby park full of flowers. The joy on Felix’s face made the trip more than worthwhile. They spent several hours walking around and chatting, getting to know each other. When they got tired of walking, Changbin got them drinks and they sat down beneath a tree to continue talking.
Felix talked about growing up in Australia and told about his family and his hobbies. He talked about his job and about Jacob. Changbin told Felix about his parent’s and his sister. He told Felix the Stray Kids history from his point of view knowing Hyunjin had already told it from his. Changbin learned how much Felix loved gaming and how he gave his entire heart and soul to those he loved. While he had feelings for Felix prior to that day it was more superficial. Now he was falling for Felix as he got to know him better and saw how often his thoughts were pure and honest. Felix discovered how funny Changbin was. He was like a big kid. He loved to play and have fun and it made Felix laugh far more than he had thought he would. Hyunjin was fun and funny but in a different way. With Changbin he could almost be a bit immature without worry of anyone looking down on him. They could just play together happily.
Next Changbin took Felix to a store to pick out a stuffie to cuddle with when Changbin wasn’t there. Jokingly Felix said a big pillow would be better. Changbin’s eyes sparkled with laughter and with Felix giggling, ordered a king size pillow with his picture on it, putting Felix’s address for delivery. Felix couldn’t stop giggling and Changbin thought it was probably the happiest sound he had ever heard. They headed back to the dorms finally, content that they had a much better understanding of the other. They were relaxed and happy as they entered the dorm and smiled at Hyunjin who smiled at them from the couch. He had seen their whole day but did his best to stay quiet in their heads and let them have the time together. They were both so relaxed and happy that he felt relieved to have sent them. It made him happier than he would have believed to see them bonding as they had.
Felix practically bounced to him and threw his arms around Hyunjin. “Hey Jinnie!” He grinned and kissed the man, his excitement and happiness calming to a tender kiss. Changbin smiled at the two and then went to go wash up for dinner. Minho had obviously cooked up a feast for them, helped by Innie and Jisung. Changbin set the table as Felix babbled happily telling them all about their date. The others looked as enchanted with Felix as he and Hyunjin were. Dinner was a happy affair full of laughter and the love of each other within their group of eight.
“So I hear you ad libbed a line for Topline.” Minho said. “I would like to hear it.”
“How did you hear that?” Felix asked and Minho raised an eyebrow. Felix laughed.
“Sungie has been on pins and needles wanting to hear it.” He replied. Knowing of their connection made the others wonder why they had never questioned all those times. It was so obvious now that they knew.
Chan went and got his laptop and pulled up the file and played the song. When Felix’s line came up he blushed and ducked his face in Hyunjin’s neck, hiding. He could feel the pride coming through their bond from both Changbin and Hyunjin. The others all loved his addition. Han got a look on his face and immediately went to grab his lyric notebook and started writing. Felix looked at him curiously. “He gets like this.” Minho told him with a fond smile at Jisung. “Just let him write.”
The group decided a movie night was the perfect way to round out the day and Felix perched between Changbin and Hyunjin, giving massages to both throughout the movie. Felix fell asleep towards the end and the others talked quietly as the movie ended. “Did you guys have fun?” Jeongin asked Changbin.
“Yeah. I took him to Dream Park. We walked around looking at flowers and just talking and getting to know each other better. He is everything Hyunnie has said.” Changbin answered with a tender smile on his face.
“How are the three of you going to do this?” Seungmin asked. “I don’t mean to make light of it but I imagine this is going to be very hard when he goes home.”
“We don’t know.” Hyunjin answered honestly. “We are playing it by ear.” He looked at Felix. “I think he is open to moving here because he knows we can’t move there but it will depend on how the distance affects us I think. Besides, he is a bit nervous about how he will fit into our world. He is trying to keep those thoughts away but he is more scared than he wants to let on. He doesn’t want to make any moves that hurt us and he knows from my memories and thoughts how inflexible the company may be about him living with us.”
“He won’t be able to live apart from you for long unless the connection is broken.” Jisung said softly.
“It may be different from our connection, Jagi.” Minho said gently.
Jisung looked at him and then back to the trio, Felix asleep in Hyunjin’s lap with his legs up on Changbin’s lap. “I don’t think so.” Jisung said. “I think it is different, yes. But I don’t think it will allow him to live so far away for very long. You three really need to decide how this is going to work. It’s better to have a plan in place just in case.” He looked over at Minho. “Don’t let yourselves be blindsided the way we were when Minho was cut. It about destroyed us both because we weren’t ready.” All the members could see the memory of pain in the duo’s eyes.
“It was agony.” Minho agreed. “Jagi is right. Even if you don’t end up needing it, you need to start making plans in case. I don’t want you three to go through what we did. It almost destroyed both of us.”
“I’m still angry at you two for not sharing what you were going through with us.” Chan said with an edge to his quiet tone. Minho acknowledged the anger with a nod.
“I know it makes you angry that we left you out, but I won’t apologize for it. I was protecting my jagi who wasn’t ready for anyone to know.” He said. Changbin waved a hand at Chan to calm down.
“If I had found out before I connected to Felix and Hyunnie, I would feel the same but hyung, you don’t get how this feels. I would do anything to protect them.” He looked at Hyunjin and Felix. “Literally anything. If Felix wanted us to quit and move to him, we probably would.” He added trying to impart the emotion attached in the connection. “He wouldn’t want us to but I’m trying to tell you how strong the drive is to protect our connected.” He looked at Minho and Jisung. “I understand.” Minho nodded, knowing that Changbin was protective of his bonded the way he was of Jisung. Minho and Changbin were more of protectors than Jisung, Hyunjin and Felix were. The need and drive to protect their bonded from any harm was a driving force in a way he would not have understood prior.
“We are going to work on it together.” Hyunjin soothed. “We will decide what needs to happen for the three of us.” He looked at Chan. “Should we tell the company?”
Chan thought about it. “Not yet. I don’t think.” He said slowly. “I think it's better to have a plan in place and then tell them. They will balk at it but if we stand firm and together, I don’t think they will fight too hard. Especially if we tell them the truth. They are more likely to publicize it for additional revenue off the novelty. Prepare Felix for that. Whenever it happens, it is going to get uncomfortable for him…and for you two so far from him.” Everyone nodded in thought.
Changbin carried Felix to bed and tucked him in, this time; the two partners put Felix in the middle and cuddled up to him. {H- What if he doesn’t want to move?} {C- Hyunnie, think about him. Felix would never let someone he cares about hurt. He would move even if he didn’t want to.} {H- Thats the point. He would do it even if he didn’t want to in order to protect us.} {C- So we won’t let him do anything he doesn’t actually want to do.} Hyunjin nodded. {H- I’m glad you two connected.} {C- Really?} Changbin thought in surprise. Hyunjin smiled. {H- Yeah. I think he needs us, both of us.} Changbin nodded his agreement. They had one more day with their sunshine boy. Neither was ready for it to be over. There would be some hard conversations coming over the next few days and weeks but for now, it was warm and safe in the bed, surrounded by love and each other.
Chapter 19: Chapter 19
Summary:
A little sexy time, some conversations about needs and wants for the future to plan and Felix heads home.
Notes:
A/N hello my lovelies! Here is the next chapter. I'm sorry its kind of a mess; I knew what I needed to happen but not how to make it happen so its a hodgepodge and I apologize. I hope its ok. This has not been beta read because I have been struggling to post it for two weeks so I finally decided I was tired of playing with it and here you go. Your comments mean the world to me so if you like what I write please let me know. I am starting to plan the Minsung companion to this so when I finish some of the others stories I will start that one. This story is fiction and any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental. If you would like to be alerted when I update you can follow me on twitter at _eyes_wideshut.
Dedicated to my fellow witches. Your friendship means more to me than you will ever know.
Chapter Text
Felix woke to find his two boyfriends surrounding him and he smiled. With a grin he touched gently, caressing the lines of Hyunjin’s body. Hyunjin woke up and ran his fingers through Felix’s hair. {H- What are you doing Lixie?} {F- Mmmm. I’m playing.} His mouth sucking lightly on Hyunjin’s nipple. Hyunjin smiled. Changbin stirred a bit his own nipple hardening into a pebble noticeably. Hyunjin and Felix looked at each other and smiled before Felix continued.. Felix swirled his tongue over the nipple he was focused on. Hyunjin moaned softly and touched Felix's neck, gently holding him where he was; silently asking for more. Changbin moved restlessly and let out a moan, a hand up in the air as if he were cradling a head to his own chest and opened his eyes immediately registering the situation and eyes getting hot quickly. {C- Mmm, is there a party I wasn’t invited to?} “We have focused on me and you but never Hyunjinnie and I thought it was time he got to be the center of attention. You interested?” Felix grinned at Changbin and cocked an eyebrow.
“Mm…Lix, I gotta say, I like the way you think.” Changbin said and slid closer. He wrapped a hand around Felix’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss, Hyunjin looking over his two connected with a smile. Felix resumed teasing Hyunjin’s nipple and Changbin moved in to work on the other. Hyunjin moaned again and his hips moved restlessly. Felix and Changbin worked together wordlessly to drive Hyunjin to the brink using hands, mouths and tongues. When all three had been worked into a frenzy, Changbin prepped Felix and helped guide Hyunjin into him. He knelt behind Felix, his hands moving over the other men’s chests and cocks.
{H- what about you hyung?} "MMM. I'm just fine Jinnie. You both feel so good." Though he did have an errant thought about sliding into Hyunjin and all three moaned at the thought. {H- yesss} his thoughts hissed. Felix leaned forward and grabbed a pillow and handed it back to Changbin and then climbed off. Hyunjin whined at the loss but slid down the bed and put the pillow under his hips. Changbin leaned forward and kissed him sweetly as Felix passed him the lube and moved back to Hyunjin’s nipples as Changbin began prepping Hyunjin.
By the time Hyunjin was begging, they were all on edge. Felix gently straddled Hyunjin and slowly slid down his cock before leaning forward and freezing in place to allow the next part. Changin looked at Hyunjin. {C- You sure baby?} Hyunjin bit his lip and nodded, eyes begging. Changbin slowly slid inside Hyunjin and all three groaned at the sensation. Felix kissed Hyunjin and then sat up, leaning back against Changbin. His newest lover wrapped his arms around Felix and kissed his neck. They began moving in unison. Though it should have been awkward; because they were in each other's heads and bodies, they completely moved as one in perfect synchronization. Hyunjin and Changbin’s hands moving over Felix’s body.
Hyunjin came first with a gasp, his body thrusting up into Felix hard. Feeling the orgasm, Changbin followed quickly and then Felix. They fell together kissing sloppily, never knowing or caring whose mouth and tongue was touching their own. The kisses slowed and became tender. Eventually they took turns going to the bathroom to clean themselves up. They pulled on comfy clothes and took seats on the bed. Felix looked between them. They could feel his worry and hear his thoughts.
“Lix, we won’t do anything without you. You are an integral part of this. We will figure this out.” Changbin reassures. {F- Just sexually. I need the closeness as much as you two do. Just if you could make sure I am a part of the sexual aspect.} “Absolutely! I agree!” and Hyunjin nodded his agreement as well. {H- It is three of us, not two}
“I’ve been thinking about what Jisung and Minho told you guys last night.” They had tried not to think about it much but it had crossed their minds and Felix had picked up on it. “They said it's going to be really painful to be apart and suggested we make a plan, right?” The two men nodded. “I don’t necessarily want to move but I am willing to if it becomes necessary. I want you both to know that. I’m not against it at all so please don’t worry I would be doing it against my will. I just want you both to know that. If it becomes painful, I will move. I won’t damage your careers by forcing you to come to me and I can do my job from anywhere. I will talk to my supervisor and alert them to the potential I may need to relocate and make sure they are fine with it. If it is an issue; I will start putting out feelers here to see if I can get the same type of job here if that becomes necessary.”
“Are you sure, Felix?” Hyunjin asked but he could feel how sure the younger man was.
“I am not necessarily ready to stop my life and move here but you are both worth any potential discomfort I will face. I would rather wait a bit and see what happens but I just want you both to know I am willing. I say we look into and prepare for a quick move but not actually make any moves unless we have to. Is that fair for everyone?” The other two men nodded. “I wouldn’t ask you two to stay away from each other but if you could curtail any sexual activity unless I am involved mentally at least.”
“Absolutely!” Changbin said fervently.
“What do you two need from me?” Felix asked.
“We need you to find a way to deal with Jacob.” Hyunjin said flatly. “We are both very concerned at his access to you. {C- Particularly when we are too far away to help.} We would appreciate you being very careful and figuring out how to get away from him whether it means involving police or getting someone else more involved or something.”
Felix nodded. “I will do my best. I will warn him but if that doesn’t work I will get the police involved. I promise.” Changbin nodded.
“Are we going to tell our families?” Changbin asked.
“Would they understand it?” Hyunjin countered.
“I think we should hold off on that until we know more. We don’t know how the distance is going to affect us though Minho and Jisung are pretty sure it will. It doesn’t make sense to let them in until we are more sure what is going on.”
“I don’t like you not having anyone to talk to.” Changbin told Felix. “You don’t have to say it is us but is there no one you can have support from?”
“Vanessa and Arny.” Hyunjin answered. Felix looked up in surprise.
“You would be ok with that?”
“Felix, you have to be able to talk to someone about this. You trust them so we trust them.” Hyunjin answered.
“I was thinking since Wooyoung and I are friends, I was going to talk to him about us if that is ok with the two of you.” Both men nodded.
“Yes, I would like to have more information and examples from other connected.” Felix said. “If you are willing to talk to him, I am definitely good with that.” Hyunjin gave his wordless agreement.
“I’m going to do more research on this. I want to know more.” Hyunjin said. “I think there are a lot more of us out there. Especially if Jisung and Minho think there are several others.” The other two agreed.
“Because I am not in the spotlight, I can do some research too. No one cares right now if I am connected. I will just be very careful what I tell them about who I am connected to.” The other two nodded.
“If and when this comes out, you are going to get thrown into the spotlight. You need to be ready for that.” Changbin told Felix. “We can keep it secret while you live in Australia but if you end up having to move here, we will have to tell the company why in order to make sure we can keep you close enough and have open access to us. I guarantee you that the company will try to profit off of this so they will release it. Maybe not right away but eventually they will leak it.”
Felix nodded while his thoughts swirled around that. “I would like to keep our connection quiet as long as we can. You guys chose this lifestyle of an idol. I didn’t. I am quite happy billing medical records and staying out of the spotlight. If it eventually is released it's ok, we will handle it but I would prefer us to wait until it is necessary.”
“We can do that, Lix. We want you to feel safe and happy.” Hyunjin agrees.
“Ok.” Felix smiles at the two other men. “I also would like you guys to work with Minho and see if we can practice blocking. Not because I want to block either of you out but only because I want you both…” The other two men knew he really meant Hyunjin, “to have whatever privacy you need.”
“We will, but Lix, I’m ok with it now.” Hyunjin said. “I know at first I was an asshole about it but you know I don’t feel like that anymore.”
“I know but you should still have whatever privacy you want.” Felix said with a soft smile.
“I love you.” Hyunjin said.
“I love you too.” Felix beamed back.
They both looked at Changbin who laughed. “I’m not gonna say that yet but I can see going in that direction.” Felix beamed at him and tackled him with a hug. Changbin giggled happily and Felix sat back looking at him with surprised joy. {F- The giggle is adorable!} Changbin blushed a bit and rubbed his neck. {C- Thank you.}
“I think we need to include hyung some. I know this is about us but he is the one who will be put at fault. He should at least be a part of the conversations.” Changbin suggested hesitantly.
“He should be involved. I don’t know that I’m comfortable with him making the decisions for us but he should definitely be included in the discussion.” Felix agreed. “His opinion is important.”
“I agree.” Hyunjin said. “But it should be up to Felix when he wants to come out as our connected.”
“Agreed.” Changbin said. “Let's do this.” The three looked at each other and with a nod got up to head out into the communal living area.
Changbin went into the kitchen to warm up some of the scallion pancakes Minho kept the fridge stocked with. He served them and sat down with his own plate. The three dug into their late breakfast and Chan, hearing them up and moving around came out. He got himself a cup of hot tea and came to sit with them.
“Have you had a good visit?” He asked Felix.
“Yes.” Felix answered with a smile. “I’m glad you came out, we wanted to talk to you.”
Chan raised his eyebrow with a smile and took a sip of his tea. The three began to lay out what they had discussed that morning. Chan nodded thoughtfully as they went through each part. “I would like to be present when you talk to Youngie. If he is ok with that. I want to know more and to figure out how this will impact us.”
“I will ask how he feels about that. He doesn’t know that we know or that we are too so I don’t know how he will feel about it.” Changbin answered. “But I would like for you to be a part of the conversation.”
Chan nodded appeased by that and gestured for them to continue. They continued outlining everything. Felix worriedly told that he wasn’t ready to move or to be known as a connected yet but Chan just touched his hand gently. “Felix, I can understand that and we will protect you as much as we can. If you aren’t ready to move and to come out publicly; we will do anything we need to in order to get you whatever privacy you need. Realistically speaking, even if there is no physical detriment to being apart, you will likely be outed at some point but we can protect you as long as we can. I would never put your safety or peace of mind ahead of us.”
Felix smiled at his Aussie hyung. “Thank you Chris.” The other man gave him a sweet smile. Felix could feel the protection and love of his brothers within the words and smile.
“I am going to talk to management about adding Felix to an access list so that he will be allowed anywhere we are. I will need to know who to say he is. I would say he is a relative of mine since he is from Australia too but they know all our family so that won’t work. Give it some thought.”
They spent the remainder of the day with the other members coming in and out. Many pictures were taken. At one point Minho stood and said he would take a picture. They all posed for a while and when he finally started giggling and Jisung snatched the phone away, they realized he had been taking selfies instead. Felix started laughing. He loved these men so much. All of them were unique and without each one they wouldn’t be the same. They were all so important to each other and to the group and that they accepted him without question made him feel so loved and cared for.
Eventually the time came for him to head to the airport and head home. He cried a bit but weirdly, it was Chan hugging him that calmed him. The group leader exuded calm confidence and enfolded all the others under his protection. “We’ve got you Lix, you are safe here. We will protect you.” He whispered as he hugged Felix. Felix nodded against his shoulder.
When Chan let him go, Changbin and Hyunjin surrounded him; holding him close. “We are one. We are together. You are never alone Lix.” Changbin said. Felix nodded again, his throat too tight for him to actually speak. Security knocked on the door when they were there to pick up Felix. The younger connected stepped back and looked at his two lovers and then at Chan.
“Take care of them hyung.” Felix asked softly. Chan nodded with a gentle smile. Felix gave a weak smile to his two connected and then turned and without a word; left. Hyunjin immediately left the room, seeking solitude to handle Felix leaving. The others sat together in silence as Changbin gave occasional updates on where Felix was; only stopping after his plane finally took off.
Minho quietly prepared food for everyone and ensured they ate. When Hyunjin refused to leave his room; Minho brought the food to him and quietly asked him to at least drink the water he had brought. Once he had some of the water, Minho gently touched his head, wordlessly offering comfort and support. When Hyunjin met his eyes; he gave a small smile and left the room with a nod.
Hyunjin had no interest in the food. He just watched what Felix was doing. Security had been very kind to him which Hyunjin appreciated, making mental notes who was especially kind to him. By the time Felix boarded his plane, Hyunjin was crying on his bed. He didn’t like to cry in front of others and everyone knew that. Once Felix’s plane took off he finally fell into a restless sleep. Felix sent Changbin to Hyunjin’s room to hold him as he slept, knowing his boyfriend needed comfort. He knew he was right when Hyunjin immediately curled into Changbin’s arms, and at last fell into a deep sleep. {C- You aren’t alone Lix. I promise.} {F- I know Binnie.} Felix thought with a smile. {F- He needs you right now. Please take care of each other.} {C- always, Sunshine.}
Vanessa and Arny picked him up at the airport. It turned out the night before Hyunjin had sent Vanessa a message asking them to pick up Felix and hinting he would need the company. When Felix came down to pick up his bags only to be tackled by Vanessa, he instantly melted into her embrace, realizing Hyunjin and Changbin had been right. He did need a support system. Arny just smiled indulgently at the two and snagged Felix’s bag when it came by. They walked him out to their car and settled him in for the ride back to his apartment. He fell apart crying during the drive and Vanessa turned in the passenger seat and just held his hand.
When they got back, Arny went and put his bag in his room and then took a seat on the other side of Felix. “Lix?” He said softly. “We don’t want to push but we are worried about what is going on.”
Felix finally sat up sniffing. Vanessa handed him some tissues and they waited while Felix blew his nose and cleaned up his face. Finally he sat back. “Have….have you guys heard of the connected?” He asked softly.
“No….” Arny said and Vanessa shook her head no as well.
“It’s kind of hard to believe. But there is this thing…well no there are people….I don’t have a fucking clue how to explain this.” He took a deep breath. “Ok apparently though I had never heard of it before it happened to me; there are people who connect like mentally when they look at each other. You share each others minds and bodies. That happened to me. Several months ago, before I even met you two I connected with a guy at the mall. It is him that has texted you a couple times. I went to go visit him.” Felix explained. “When I got there, I connected also to one of his best friends. The three of us are trying to figure it out together.”
“Thats….I’ve never heard anything like that.” Arny said hesitantly.
“Your phone is about to get a text.” Felix told Vanessa flatly as he watched Changbin send a text.
~Vanessa, this is his second connected. I promise its the truth. We know it's hard to believe but he needs someone he can talk to about all this.~
Felix watched as Vanessa read it and then passed the phone to Arny who read it.
“WOW!” Vanessa said. “If anyone else were telling me this I wouldn’t believe it. I don’t know if I do now but I don’t think you would lie to me.”
“No, I wouldn’t.” Felix just decided to let it out. “I won’t tell you who because we aren’t ready for that but they live in another country and I went to see them…well him until it was them. When Cha….uh when I connected to the second one; I freaked out. It took a lot to calm me down. It can get kind of loud in my head.” He gave a sheepish smile.
He slowly began telling them as much as he was comfortable with. He gave no details on what country or who the men were but he told them a lot. Changbin would occasionally text to add details and with him chiming in; it was pretty clear Felix was telling the truth. “This is incredible!” Arny said. “It must be so cool!” His excitement made Felix laugh.
“It would be overwhelming.” Vanessa added. “To have someone know your every thought and feeling. It must have been scary. And you have had to deal with all this on your own. Is that why you broke up with Jacob?”
“Well no, I broke up with Jacob because he is a dick.”
“That's the damn truth.” Arny said.
“But it was the first guy I connected with and watching the two of you that showed me I could have more.”
Arny smiled at him. “I’m glad you found your ‘more’.” Felix smiled back at him. “You deserve happiness LIx.”
“Thank you Arny.” He turned to Vanessa. “And thank you Nessa. Thank you both for listening and believing.”
“We can help you research this if you want.” Vanessa offered. His relief was evident at her offer.
At least he finally had someone who knew what was going on. He finally had someone he could talk to about all this. While he wasn’t with his connected in person; he wasn’t alone anymore. It took an incredible weight off and by the time he crawled in bed that night; he felt much more hopeful about his future.
Chapter 20: Chapter 20
Summary:
We learn a bit more about connections.
Notes:
A/N Hello my lovlies! Here is chapter 20. Thank you so much to my Makirasan for your help and support with this chapter. This story is complete fiction and any resemblance to reality is coincidental. If you like what I write please let me know. Your comments mean the world to me and keep me motivated. If you wish to be alerted when I update you can follow me on twitter at _eyes_wideshut. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
Chapter 20
Felix expected to settle back into his normal life as if nothing had changed but everything felt different. He hadn’t expected it. He had gotten into bed the night he had gotten back after his guests had left and starfished across the bed. He enjoyed his space to stretch out. He sighed and snuggled into the comforter. Felix yawned and smacked his lips. {C- Goodnight Sunshine.} Felix smiled. {F- Night Binnie. Take good care of Hyunjinnie for me.} {C- I will}. He looked over at the sleeping artist and Felix’s smile turned tender at the view. He watched Changbin turn off the light and leave Hyunjin’s room. He relaxed and waited for sleep to take him.
Two hours later he was still waiting. He rolled over again and gave a heavy sigh. He could no longer feel Changbin letting him know the other two men were asleep. He flipped onto his back and stared at the ceiling. It was like he had an itch below his skin but couldn’t figure out what was wrong. {F- I miss them.} He finally realized. That was the itch. The bed was so empty and cold without the two men’s bodies around him. He wanted the warmth and safety of Binnie’s arms. He needed the love and tenderness of Hyunjin’s touch.
The next day as he clocked in to work he glanced up at the poster of the guys smiling automatically but the smile dropped off some as he looked at their faces. They looked plastic, fake. The motionless faces giving their blank smiles for the camera weren't the men he had grown to love. While Jisung smiled, where was the hyperactive joy he exuded when he was comfortable. Jeongin’s polite smile was nothing to the slightly perverted naughty grin he gave to the people he cared about. Seungmin looked haughty without a hint of his actual grin. Felix remembered Hyunjin mentioning that the vocalist didn’t like to smile due to comments about it from pseudo fans. But to his brothers, his smile was full of joy and life and just a hint of savagery. Minho was smiling slightly with a peace sign and not a hint of the quirky attitude that made him so much fun. Chan was giving a wink as if he knew how desired he was, hiding completely the real man who was somewhat insecure about his own looks. Then his eyes fell to his two lovers. He didn’t like that view at all.
Hyunjin…his beautiful Hyunjin looked so cold and polished, a cocky smirk gracing those gorgeous full lips. The picture held none of the warmth and love the man looked at him with. The cold cocky look held none of the stillness and beauty the man had when he quietly sketched. It held none of the chaotic dorkiness when he was comfortable in his own skin. It was just a cold picture and not the man he loved. Then there was Changbin. His picture; all muscled and hot but none of the childlike joy in life. That adorable giggle was missing. That protective love. The man who was so willing to listen all night if you needed him to and give thoughtful advice and then follow it up with an adorable laugh and some flirtation. These were not the two men he adored in person. What showed on the poster was not the real men. It was a fan's view and he wanted the real thing. He wanted a picture of his friends and lovers; not the world's Stray Kids. {C- We will take a group picture and send it to you.} {H- That poster is Stay’s version of us. We can send a picture of the real us if it would help.} His lovers chiming in to confirm his thoughts soothed him.
When Felix went to break, he started throwing things in a small bag without even thinking about it. It wasn’t until he put in a spare toothbrush that Changbin asked what he was doing. {F- I don’t know. I was missing you guys and started thinking maybe I should have an emergency go bag packed in case I need to head to you guys in a hurry?} He thought. {C- Lix, you can come anytime you want. If it makes you feel better to have a go bag then pack two.} Felix smiled at his understanding. {F- Thanks Binnie.}
On his lunch break, Felix made himself some noodles and when he took a bite he moaned with joy and turned to offer a bite only to remember Jisung wasn’t there to do this with. Once that thought crossed his mind, he wondered what Minho would have done to make it taste even more amazing. Suddenly he lost his appetite completely. Nothing he had here would taste remotely as good as the meals Minho made and even if it were, the company he longed for wasn’t here.
It took about three days before each of the men but especially Felix realized their persistent headache was getting worse. They had had it since Felix left and while at first it had been vague discomfort it had gotten sharper. It was definitely much more intense than the discomfort Hyunjin and Felix had prior. So far, while unpleasant it was at least bearable.
Changbin called Wooyoung. "Hey Youngie." He said softly. "Hyunjin, Chan and I were hoping to come by and talk to you and San." His tone was serious and Wooyoung's happy greeting immediately quieted and he went on guard slightly.
"Talk?" Wooyoung asked. "What about?"
Changbin had worried over what to say to alert Youngie to the subject without giving it away to anyone else and to keep Minho's confidence. "It's about…connections based on need." He hinted. There was absolute silence on the other end.
"I don't know what you are talking about…." WJ started but Changbin interrupted.
"We have something in common." Changbin said flatly. {F- He seems very unwilling. Are we sure about this?} {H- Yes. He is being cautious.}
"And you want Chan hyung and Hyunjin along?" The younger man asked carefully.
"Definitely Hyunjin and hyung would appreciate being able to join us though he understands if that isn't ok."
There was a brief silence on the other end and then, "Our dorm. 2pm." The younger said and promptly hung up. {C- Well at least they agreed.}
While Hyunjin and Changbin were waiting for their meeting, Felix and Vanessa were researching online. Giving up Vanessa picked up the phone and called the reporter who had written several articles about connections, putting the phone on speaker mode.
"Hi, is this Nate?" She asked. The man affirmed it was and she looked questioningly at Felix who nervously eyed the phone and shook his head. "Hi. My name is Vanessa and I need to talk to you about…um…connections."
His voice changed immediately from friendly to reporter. "Ah yes. You've seen my articles. Tell me your connection story." He offered.
"I'm not connected and the person who is does not want to be on the record." Vanessa responded. "I'm sorry." While her words were apologetic her tone was steel.
"I understand." His voice softened slightly. "Many connected don't want to be on the record either."
"I have a few questions. If you can't or don't want to answer them I ask for any contacts we can connect to."
"I will tell you what I can and then I can talk to some of my contacts and see if they are willing to speak to you."
Vanessa looked at Felix who nodded. "That is ok. My first question is how rare is this?" She watched Felix writing his next question.
"It's hard to say as many are like the person you are calling for and they don't want the attention so they do not come forward. Offhand I would say it is becoming more common by the day but still somewhat rare. More and more connected are coming forward and we believe the connected who are not coming forward could be as high as a million."
"Million?" {F- A million?} {H- A million?} {C- Fuck.}
"Yes."
She read Felix's note. "Have you heard of more than two connecting?" She asked softly.
"More than two?" The shock in his voice had Felix wincing. "No. Though many connected do not want to speak to a reporter so it's possible I would think that they do not tell us that part. Can I ask how many are connected?" He asked.
Vanessa looked at Felix and he debated with Changbin and Hyunjin. Then he nodded. "Three."
"Did they all connect at the same time?"
She waited for Felix to nod. "Let's call them persons A, B and C. A and B are roommates. A and C connected. A few months later when my friend, person C went to visit person A, C and B connected too and then the roommates A and B connected as well.”
"So…" He worked through it "A and B were friends and not connected. One of the two connected to someone else and a few months later when visiting C connected to B and that triggered A and B to also connect?”
"Correct."
"This is incredible!" The reporter said with excitement. "Is there anything I can do to get one of them to speak to me?"
"No. They won't do that." She hesitated. "They are very private." She said without details.
"Ahhh." He made a sound of understanding disappointment. “Maybe they will speak to me at a later time.”
"Possibly." She answered without confirming it.
"You mentioned that A and C visited each other which would imply they don't necessarily live close."
"Mmm." She responded with just a noise.
Nate grew quiet working through his own thoughts. "And there weren't any physical side effects from being apart for three months, you said?"
Felix frantically wrote and Vanessa nodded to him as she read it. "That was one of the things we wanted to ask you. Once the three connected, they spoke to other connected who mentioned a physical cost for being apart. They had very minor headaches prior to the third joining but have had a significant increase now. How bad is this going to get and is there anything they can do about it?"
"Without specifics, how far apart are they?"
"Two are roommates, as I said and C lives in another country."
"So at least one lives in Australia and at least one lives in another country?"
{F- Fuck.} {H- How did he get there?} "I didn't say anything about Australia." Vanessa said with a stern tone.
"I guessed based on your accent."
"This is the digital age, Nate. I have friends all over the world. My boyfriend's best friend lives in Atlanta, Georgia. Just because my accent is Australian doesn't mean any of them are from here."
"That's a fair point, though I think if I had been wrong, you wouldn’t have cared as much about me thinking it." The reporter replied mildly. "I wasn't trying to pry. I'm just fascinated by all this. But to answer your question, my understanding is that it is increasingly painful to be apart once the connection is made though it does seem to vary between pairs. It generally starts as mild headaches and fatigue and gets progressively worse."
"How bad can this get if they stay separated?"
The reporter hesitated. "There was a pair…a woman with a medical issue and a donor who connected. Due to their connection in the very early days of this phenomena before much was known and due the woman's health condition, they were kept apart. Both ended up passing away."
"They died?" Vanessa asked urgently.
"Yes. But that was in the very early days before there was any understanding. While most connected choose to live together while they are connected; as long as they are able to be in physical proximity every couple weeks it is sustainable." Vanessa breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank God. Ok." She read the last question from Felix. "Are there connected pairs who successfully end their connection?"
"Yes!" He answered excitedly. "I know of a few. A woman who wanted a child and a foster child who desperately needed a mother connected and once adopted the connection ended. They are just a normal family today. And there was a police officer in America who wanted to clear his name when he was suspected of being a dirty cop connected with the man actually guilty of the crime but filled with remorse. The cop convinced him to turn himself in and testified on his behalf. Once he was convicted the connection ended. There are others as well. It seems like romantic connections are more permanent than others. I would assume with three connections, they aren't romantic?"
"Thank you for your time, Nate. I appreciate you talking to me today." Vanessa said and promptly hung up. {H- So, romantic lasts more frequently.} {C- That's not surprising when you think about it. Why would you stop needing the people you love?} {F- True.}
"Did you guys get all the questions answered?" Vanessa asked Felix, knowing the others were listening in too. Felix nodded.
"Yeah. They are about to go talk to another connected pair." Felix answered. The trio had talked a lot about what to say and how to say it. Finally they decided telling the other connected the truth would instill some trust and hopefully allow the others to be as forthcoming.
"Do you want me to stay with you?" Vanessa asked in concern.
"Please." Felix whispered back.
Vanessa nodded and went to go make them each a mug of hot tea. Felix watched his two connected and Chan get in the car. Hyunjin was fidgeting nervously with a string on his pants, Changbin reached over and took his hand and both Felix and Hyunjin took comfort from it.
Wooyoung opened the door for them, missing his usual smile and hyper persona. {H- I’ve never seen Youngie so quiet and serious.} {C- Yeah this isn’t him normally.} They followed the dancer into an open area with couches and they took seats. San and Hongjoong sat there as well. Both men stood and bowed though San’s expression was stone faced and untrusting. “San.” He corrected softly. San’s expression softened. Wooyoung took a seat next to San and took his hand.
“I’m just here to listen.” Hongjoong started.
“Same.” Chan said and gave the other leader a smile.
“I should let you know right off the bat that there is another person present.” Hyunjin said, tapping his head. “You don’t know him.”
San looked confusedly between Changbin and Hyunjin. “Oh. I thought you two…”
“Us too.” Changbin answered. “That's one of the reasons we wanted to talk. I’ll let Hyunjin start since this started with him. I know that this is probably not something you want to share with people which is why we are sharing our story first so that you understand.”
San settled back a bit at that, relaxing visibly at the trust the other group was showing them. He nodded. “Please go ahead.” He said.
“So a few months ago we were at a fansign at a shopping area in Sydney. While we were walking through the mall I connected to a man. Neither of us understood what was happening and I didn’t like having a stranger in my head. I was a bit rude at first.” {F- Understandably. It's ok Jinnie.}
“Wait, just a regular guy in Sydney?” WooYoung asked, the shock in his face clear.
“Yes.” Hyunjin replied and continued. “We slowly started talking. His name is Felix. We hoped that the connection would break when I returned home but it didn’t. The more we got to know each other the more we liked each other. I fell in love with him. He is kind, and special and just loves with his whole heart which is something we see so rarely.”
“He LIVES in Sydney?” San asked in amazement. “How are you able to be that far away from him for months?”
“Let them tell us and save our questions.” Hongjoong suggested and Changbin nodded his thanks.
“He was in a relationship when we connected but it ended, not because of us but because of the way the guy treated him. Felix would never cheat or betray someone he loved.” Hyunjin’s immediate defense of Felix had all the men smiling. No one had any bad thoughts of Felix but Hyunjin was protective anyway. Changbin squeezed his hand in support. “After they finally split, I went to go visit Felix. We admitted our feelings and started a relationship. I spent the weekend there and when I came home I talked to Binnie hyung about it.” His smile grew tender as he thought about that weekend with Felix. {F- I love you Hyunjinnie.} {H- I love you too Lixie.} {C- I could not have gotten any luckier than the two of you.}
“My turn.” Changbin said, picking up the story. “Hyunjin wasn’t telling us about the connection. We just knew there was someone. He told me a bit about Felix but he didn’t talk about the connection. We had all started to get worried about Hyunjin as it seemed like he wasn’t with us. He’d be recording something and then be miles away. We decided to have a family meeting to find out what was going on. We confronted him and begged him to tell us what was happening. He started to slowly tell us about Felix. We didn’t believe him at first. I think hyung thought he was going to have to have him committed.” He grinned at Chan who laughed.
“I called Felix and together we told them all about us. They were understandably shocked.” Hyunjin said then he paused thinking of Jisung and Minho. “Well almost everyone. Anyway they decided they wanted to meet Felix.”
Chan turned to Hongjoong. “I wanted to make sure I knew a man who had every inside detail about us.” HJ nodded his understanding and then Chan turned back to Hyunjin. “I’m sorry, Lix.”
“He says he understands hyung.” Changbin relayed gently.
“So you ARE connected to him too?” Wooyoung asked in shock. “And all three of you are connected romantically?”
“Youngie.” Hongjoong chided. “Don’t interrupt your seonbaenim.” The other man nodded and clutched San’s hand tighter.
“We arranged for him to come here since it wasn’t possible for us to go there again so soon.” The other three men nodded. “Felix arrived and the guys played a joke on me to make sure to meet Felix without me there.” Hyunjin told them, rolling his eyes at the joke.
“I was last to meet Felix and when I did, he and I connected. It was like an explosion and it freaked him out completely. I got him calmed down and Jisungie got Hyunjin there as quickly as possible. That night the three of us discussed what it could mean and at some point Jinnie and I connected too.” Changbin explained. “Then Minho and Jisung let it slip about themselves and when we confronted them you two were mentioned.” He hesitated and looked at Hongjoong. “And that you and Seonghwa were possibly as well.”
Hongjoong froze for a minute and then started laughing. “No.” He said between giggles. “Hwa and I aren’t connected.” he paused, “though we do have…thats for them to decide.” He changed tact. “But no, we are together as you know but we aren’t connected.” He giggled for a while over the thought and it lightened the mood considerably in the room. When he finally calmed down. “I apologize. Please continue.”
“Felix is back at home and we are trying to figure things out. He is researching on his end and we are trying to as well so we are here to find out what you can tell us about connections.” Changbin finally finished. “Anything you can tell us is appreciated. We would never want to violate your trust so we wanted to tell you about us first.”
San nodded thoughtfully and he and Wooyoung had a silent conversation. “We have some questions first.” Changbin and Hyunjin both nodded their agreement. “How many of Felix’s friends and family know of his connection to you two?”
“His parents know we are dating but only me and him, not Changbin and they don’t know about the connection. Other than them the only ones who know are his friends. A couple that have supported him and protected him from his ex. Just the two of them know the extent. One of them is with him right now but he hasn’t related our conversation to her yet. He wouldn’t do that without permission. She was helping him research earlier. She also doesn’t know who he is connected to. He has not revealed our identity to her.” Hyunjin explained. “She doesn’t even know what country we are in, only that we live somewhere else. I promise you are safe. He is being as respectful and private as he can about this.”
“I can understand your concern.” Chan interjected. “I was worried too about a random guy having an inside track on us. That was until I met Felix. He’s pretty impossible to not like.” {F- Tell him thank you.} The other two could feel the warm affection Felix felt for their leader at the words.
“Hyung, he says thank you. He loves you.” Changbin said and Chan smiled at him.
“Love you too Lixie.” He told Changbin. “My little Australian little brother.” He grinned and then turned back to the others. “You will understand if you meet him. Felix is the type of person who puts those he loves far above himself. He would make himself absolutely miserable rather than ever betray someone, even a stranger.” Changbin and Hyunjin nodded their agreement and could feel Felix blushing from the compliments. They could see Vanessa hugging him, having no idea why he was suddenly shy and embarrassed but wanting to support him.
“And you haven’t felt the pain of being separated?” Wooyoung asked. “San and I can’t be apart for more than a few days or it is excruciating.”
“When it was just me and Felix, it was a very mild headache we didn’t realize was because of this. Once Changbin joined, it seems like something changed.” Hyunjin said and Changbin squeezed his hand which was not lost on the others. “When he went home this time it got much more intense.”
“Some ghost time will help a little.” San suggested. “It's what we call sex when we can’t be physically together.” He blushed a bit and looked at the other connected pair. “You know what I mean, right?” He watched Changbin blush slightly at the memories of jerking off to the feeling of what Hyunjin and Felix were doing and how hot it was. San nodded with a smile knowing they understood what he was talking about. “But it will help…” San continued.. “Felix,” he said addressing the unseen presence, “it wouldn’t mean you aren’t a part of the couple. It would actually mean it isn’t possible without you there.”
“He says thank you. He knows. We just agreed on some boundaries to make sure he doesn’t feel left out.” Hyunjin explained. “We also are making plans in case it becomes unbearable to be apart.”
“When we have had to be apart for schedules, ghost time is the only thing that helps.” San told them.
“So ‘ghost’ sex actually will relieve the pain?” Changbin asked curiously.
“Not totally and it doesn’t work forever but it takes the edge off a bit.” The Ateez dancer answered. “Eventually you will have to be in person just like San and I. But we don’t know of any other trio connected so I don’t know how it would work between the three of you. Like, I don’t know if seeing just one of you would relieve it for all three or if you all would have to be together. We can ask the other connected we know.”
“There is a pair of connected…” Hongjoong started hesitantly choosing his words very carefully. “They were separated for about eight months off and on. Arrangements had to be made for them to see each other about once a month or they couldn’t handle the pain.” He was being very careful to not relate any personal information. {C- Eight months? Isn’t that how long Mingi was on hiatus?} {H- Yeah and they were touring and doing promotions for an album during that time weren’t they?} Hyunjin winced at the thought of being separated from Felix for eight months. {C- Do you think Mingi is connected?} {H- Could be.} Hyunjin answered thoughtfully. {F- Who is Mingi?} The other two flooded memories of him to Felix.
“So in your opinion we should find ways for Felix to have access often?” Chan asked. Wooyoung and San nodded emphatically.
“Every connection is different but I doubt it will allow him to live so far away for long.” San answered. “It sounds like the connection bond didn’t settle into place until Bin hyung joined the connection.”
“Yeah. That makes sense.” Changbin said. “Felix is willing to move here. He doesn’t really necessarily want to but he is preparing in case it becomes necessary.”
“It will.” Wooyoung said flatly. “I don’t say that to scare you Felix. But you should be ready.” Felix really appreciated the way they kept including him in the conversation as if he were there in person instead of just in spirit. “In the meantime, find ways to see each other as often as possible. It's gonna likely get hard to perform if you haven’t been together in awhile.”
“We have heard of headaches and fatigue?” Changbin asked.
“That's putting it mildly.” San answered. “Muscle aches, tight muscles with spasms; raging fevers; lack of appetite etc.”
“Think of having the worst flu you have ever had and it just keeps getting worse.” {F- Well that sounds terrifying.} {C- I promise we will figure this out Felix. You aren’t alone.}
“Have you considered coming forward with your connection?” Chan asked curiously.
“Not really. If we needed to we would but I don’t think it is really necessary.” San said.
“When that other connected I spoke of were separated, there was a time the three of us seriously discussed if coming forward would be the best way to make sure they had access to each other.” Hongjoong said. {H- Ok definitely Mingi. There is no way another group would be talking to Joongie about if they should out themselves and Mingi is the only one I know of who was definitely gone for that long. I wonder who he is connected to…} {C- Focus Jinnie. That is not important right now.} {H- Sorry. I was just curious.} Hongjoong continued having no idea the silent conversation that was happening. “It didn’t end up being necessary but your situation may be different especially with Felix not being an idol. You may want to talk to Park Jinyoung-nim…” He suggested hesitantly.
“No.” Changbin denied flatly. “He would only put us on display for profit.” Chan shot him a look, well aware of Binnie’s feelings for their boss but having a different understanding of their boss.
Hongjoong just nodded understandingly. “Then make whatever plans you can to allow room for Felix in your lives.” He smiled at the two connected couples. “Connections are a good thing even if they mean some reorganizing of your priorities.”
“Thanks Captain.” Wooyoung said with a grin. “Now give me a kiss to make up for not believing us at first.” He smirked slightly and Hongjoong made a disgusted face and shoved him back only for Wooyoung to giggle that he got a reaction. San got a tender smile looking at Wooyoung like he was the most precious thing he had ever seen and just watching him giggling. Felix laughed as he watched the interaction and adored that tender look. {F- I like them.} {C- They are something else. Next time you come, we will have to introduce you to the group.}
“Felix found out that connections are more permanent when they are romantic. Is that true as far as you know?” Changbin asked.
The other two connected looked at each other and then back at him. “Yes. Non romantic connections seem to end once needs are met but romantic seems permanent. At least as far as we are aware. I haven’t heard of three…”
“Yeah.” Changbin answered proudly. “All three of us are in a relationship. I wormed my way in. They couldn’t resist my charms.” He teased and Felix laughed while Hyunjin playfully hit him.
“How does that work?” Wooyoung asked, sitting up interested. “With you two here and him there?”
“It isn’t easy but Hyunjin and Felix were already together before I joined.” Changbin said. “And as Chan said earlier. It's pretty hard not to like Felix.”
“Felix, we look forward to meeting the man who tamed both Hyunjin and Changbin.” Wooyoung grinned.
“He says he can’t wait to meet you.” Hyunjin replied. “Thank you so much for meeting with us today.”
“Our pleasure.” San replied. “I’m happy for you guys.” He smiled and shook their hands.
Felix finally turned his attention to Vanessa who had waited so patiently through the whole conversation. He gave her a general run down of the conversation leaving out all personal details. He liked the three men. He could see being friends with them. He loved how energetic Wooyoung was. He liked San’s quiet strength and the way he looked at Wooyoung was swoon worthy. He liked Hongjoong’s exasperated leadership. He could practically feel the internal eye roll at watching the couple and he wanted to laugh.
“So we have learned a bit. How are you feeling about this?” She asked him.
“Nervous?” He answered with a shrug. “I am missing them a lot. More than I thought I would.” He admitted. “Sleeping alone feels so uncomfortable now.”
“Aww. Lixie, I’m so sorry.” Vanessa said with a small apologetic pout and hugged him. “Want to comfort watch something and bake some brownies?”
Felix gave her a smile. “That sounds amazing, Nessa. I’m so glad I met you.”
“I am too Lix!” She grinned. “Let's order a pizza!” Felix watched her ordering their dinner and gave her an affectionate look. Vanessa was truly a gift. He was so grateful for her and for Arny. He wanted to tell them the full story but he wanted to respect the privacy of his men and their friends so until they gave him permission he wouldn’t clarify who he was connected to.
Chapter 21: Chapter 21
Summary:
Some decisions are in the works, our trio is finding it harder to be apart and Changbin leans into his protective role a bit.
Notes:
A/N I apologize for my absence on this story. I was working on a challenge fic with three other writers on here and all of my other fics were on hold until I published it. It's done now though so we are back with our trio. As always this story is fiction and any resemblance to reality is always a coincidence or my being a fan. I only publish here and on wattpad (I don't know why I still publish there). Comments fuel my writing so if you like what you read, please let me know. If you wish to be alerted when I update or publish ANY of my stories please follow me on twitter at @_eyes_wideshut I do have several story ideas. A minsung companion piece to this as well as an ABO verse story that is bouncing around in my head so its definitely worth following. I am just wanting to finish Distant Dreams and Love is A Sneaky Bitch before I start another. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
Chapter 21
Over the next couple weeks the trio talked to several other people through Felix though they didn't learn much. They hadn't found any other trios and there hadn't been any record of any romantic connected that ended their connection. It seems Changbin had been right, why would you ever stop needing the person you loved?
The courts were starting to recognize the connected as well. In a court case in Holland a connected had been allowed to testify to what they heard and saw even though not there in person. The court tested the connection first to verify it was real but in the end it wasn't labeled heresy and that was the important thing. Though neither South Korea nor Australia had any laws set up to help the connected yet, there were several in the States and in Mexico. In Great Britain and Canada laws had already been put through to give spousal-like privileges to romantic connected pairs. They didn't know why they hadn't heard of the connected before it happened to them but it appeared to be a growing issue to be tackled albeit quietly.
It seemed the amount of time connected could be apart varied. Felix had found one couple in America where they had started on separate ends of the country but they eventually moved to a new place for both of them. It only took 6 months to become a necessity for them but they had been able to have a weekend together every few weeks. That wasn't going to be the case for their trio.
Felix had a meeting with his supervisor who confirmed if he needed to move that his job could be done anywhere and his location didn't matter. She was incredibly understanding and kind to him which Felix very much appreciated though he gave no real details other than he may suddenly need to relocate to be closer to "family".
Felix felt like he needed to tell his parents as the more they looked into the situation the more apparent it became he would have to move. There were times he despaired at the changes in his life. He tried to actively block those thoughts when the others were paying attention but he couldn't always keep it out and they bled through. It became clear to the others in the group when Felix had those times because Changbin and Hyunjin would get sad themselves over forcing Felix into these changes.
They occasionally would have an errant thought that they would quit and come to him instead but it became clear quickly that those thoughts only upset Felix even more. While he was terrified of the changes coming, knowing that he had the potential to destroy not only their dreams but the group was something that was far worse to him. It would be destroying the dreams of not just his two connected but also of the whole group and all their fans. It was something Felix would never be able to forgive himself for if he allowed it to happen. He could never be that selfish.
Han started to notice when Felix was overwhelmed by the others' reactions and would often text him at the right moment to make Felix laugh. The two of them could often be found giggling and sending each other memes. Having whole conversations in meme. The two became fast friends and could often be found giggling over something. The others looked on the duo fondly and began calling them twins. When Felix would overhear one of the six say something like that about him and Han, it warmed his heart so much and made him feel even more loved and accepted by the group. {C- You are baby. You are loved and accepted by all of us. Even if the three of us weren’t connected we would adore our sunshine.}
Chan took on a big brother role to Felix. He would text or call every couple of days to check on him and see if he could do anything to help. He still thought they should go to Park Jinyoung but Changbin flatly refused. Felix, who didn't know the man had no opinion but Binnie felt so strongly about it he wouldn't push the issue. Chan often pushed for more information and wanted to know everything Felix learned. Felix understood from his connected that it was Chan's way of protecting his members and through them; Felix as well. It was hurting him to not be able to really help the three with this but they all knew there really wasn't anything he could do.
All the members had their first real taste of the connection when they were recording and mid-sentence Changbin froze and Hyunjin ran in from the practice room looking frantic. Both men stood in silence while the others gradually quieted realizing something was happening with Felix. The absolute fury in Changbin's eyes mixed with his clenched fist and Hyunjin's frantic eyes had them worried.
Felix had ordered dinner and when the knock came he opened it to find Jacob standing there eating his fries. "You shouldn't be eating this shit. You'll get fat. Well, fatter I should say." The man said and then pinched Felix's cheek condescendingly while looking critically at Felix's body. "I told you to quit eating fast food. But you didn't listen.You have let yourself go. This is why you need me." He made a tsk sound and reached for Felix's hip.
Felix moved back immediately to get out of touching distance but that allowed Jacob to step forward into his door. "Leave. Now." Felix said coldly.
"You are entirely too full of attitude lately. Like you think you are better than me or something." Jacob sneered.
"He is better than you." Changbin growled aloud.
“Not better than you but not lower either.” Felix replied {C- You are too better than him. How did you ever date this asshole?} {F- I thought he was the only man who would ever love me and i thought this was as good as it was gonna get.} {H- Baby, you never deserved what he put you through. That's not love, that's abuse.} {F- I finally know that because of you two.} Felix gave a soft smile to his two lovers but Jacob saw it and thought it was for him.
“That's better. You always have been my little innocent boy.” He reached again for Felix’s hip. “I miss this. I miss fucking you. I miss you cooking for me. I miss your brownies. Let’s get back together babe. You know I am good for you. I take care of you don’t I?”
Felix felt the absolute rage flowing through the bond. Hyunjin’s anger he had felt before, it was potent and sharp, laser focused. But that anger was nothing compared to the absolute wrath and rage flowing from Changbin. His rage was visceral and choking. If he were here, Felix had no doubt that Jacob would be a bloody mess within seconds. He wanted to beat Jacob. He wanted to utterly destroy the man. It was hard for Felix to breathe with Changbin's rage roiling through him.
Felix had always been peaceful and full of love and had never experienced anything this strongly negative. He winced. {F- Please.} He begged Changbin quietly. {F-I know you are angry but please calm down some. I’m not used to this and it kind of scares me.} He could feel Changbin trying hard to calm down and he could feel Hyunjin taking his hand gently, stroking his fingers over Changbin’s knuckles. {C- I’m sorry Lixie. I’m trying. It's in no way directed to you, I know you know that. You just deserved so much better than him.} {H- I'm calling the police. I'll just tell them I am a neighbor and hear a fight.} {F- Do you think that's a good idea?} {C- Do not stop us from protecting you. If we can't be there to do it, allow us to do what we can.}
While the three were working through the emotions, Jacob had moved in closer and was pressed against Felix. The three became aware when his lips touched Felix’s neck and they could feel the other man’s erection pressing Felix’s stomach. “See how much I’ve missed you babe?” The other man said and the rage was immediately back though Felix was matching it this time. He shoved Jacob away. “I am not innocent and I am not your boy. Even if I was innocent at one time, you destroyed that. I have no desire to touch or be touched by you ever again.” Felix said in a steely voice.
“Babe, come on you were just smiling at me so sweetly.” Jacob said.
“I was thinking of someone else. Not you.”
“The blond pretty boy?” Jacob sneered. “You don’t actually think he will be around long do you? He just wants to take what you are so willing to give, just like the whore you are.”
“Just a few seconds ago you were wanting that same thing and calling me innocent so now that you are thinking about me giving myself to someone else I’m a whore?”
“You are mine.” Jacob growled.
“Was.” Felix said back. “I was yours. But you can’t keep what you don’t value.” {C- Hell yes!} {H- Exactly.} “You never wanted me. You just wanted what I could give you. I’m not willing to give anything to you anymore. Those days are over. I know my value now and I’m not willing to accept the scraps you throw and thank you for them. You beat me down so much I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was a shell. I found people who love me exactly as I am and instead of pushing me down to make themselves feel better the way you used to; they lift me up and celebrate me. You are too selfish to know how to do that. I will never come back to you. We are done. Period. Don’t come back here.”
“Look here you little bitch…” Jacob started but Felix didn’t back down and just glared at him, the fire of Changbin and Hyunjin’s rage lighting his eyes. Jacob faltered and took a step back for the first time.
“You look. I have been as patient and kind as I can be about this but apparently you don’t understand how to listen so I am going to make this very clear to you now. Leave. Do not return. If you do, I will involve the police. Is that clear enough for you? This ends. Now.”
"You wouldn't call the cops on me!" Jacob scoffed.
"Try me."
"You little bitch!" Jacob yelled.
Felix could hear sirens in the distance and knew that Hyunjin's call to the police was successful. Jacob raised his hand to backhand Felix but for the first time, Felix didn't flinch away. Instead he glared at Jacob. "Go ahead. Sounds like someone called the cops. Add an assault charge. It will make you go away faster."
"I'm always watching, Felix. Remember that." Jacob spat out before he spun and punched the wall on his way out.
Changbin and Hyunjin caught the group up on what had happened since all they had heard was Hyunjin's phone call to the police though because he was speaking English Jeongin couldn't understand all of it. Minho could through Jisung and Seungmin and Chan got it on their own.
Felix was talking to the cops and had opted to seek a restraining order. The police listened but didn't seem very interested in the situation which didn't give Felix much hope and had Changbin getting agitated again.
{F- It's ok Binnie. Don't worry. I will talk to my parents and start the preparations to move. Just be sure you guys know where I am going.} {C- You will stay here of course.} {F- Please don't just leave it to chance. Make sure. This is my whole life I am leaving.} {H- We will make sure everything is ready for it and I promise it won't be temporary.}
By the time the police left Felix was exhausted and his head was pounding. {F- I need to sleep. My head is killing me.} {C- Minho said some time together may help.} Changbin said hesitantly. {F- It's the anger.} Felix answered. {F- I don't usually have anger that strong and you were both yelling in my head.} They could all feel the exhaustion that was making him speak so bluntly. {H- We are sorry, baby. It just freaks us out to think how far away we are if something happens to you.} {F- I know.} Felix sighed, feeling guilty for complaining. {F- This is hard on all of us and I didn't mean to take it out on you two. I'm just so scared of what's happening and I feel so crappy all the time and I know it's only going to get worse. I can't talk to anyone about all this because I can't out you two. And being this far from you two really sucks but I'm terrified if I move there your company will do something to keep me away from you two.} {C- We understand your fears, Sunshine. Believe me we do. We will figure it out. But please know that we are too important to the company to let us die because they want to keep us apart. I promise you that if it comes to that we will go public and break contracts before we let anything happen to you. Please have faith in us. We won't leave you hanging.] {H- We love you Felix. Even if hyung hasn't said it yet, we all know you can feel it.} He gave Changbin a side eye that made Felix start giggling.
When he crawled in bed that night he had Changbin on one side and Hyunjin on the other and the three were holding hands across his belly. {F- No matter how scared I am. I feel like we are reaching a point where I will need to see you sooner rather than later.} {C- Jisung wrote some lyrics for that song we were working on and I could come and get you to record them.} Changbin suggested. {C- It couldn't be a long trip but maybe a couple days? Enough to ease the bond a bit? I can talk to hyung about leaving the day after tomorrow?} {H- I have that Versace thing in Paris…} Hyunjin hesitated. But they could hear in his thoughts that he thought the trip was a good idea even if he couldn't be there for it. {H- I think you should go.} He told Changbin. {H- I don't think it is quite as bad for us because even though we aren't doing anything we are at least here but we can all feel the toll this is taking on Felix. He needs the reset. Go.} And with his unconditional blessing given Felix finally allowed himself to relax into sleep while Changbin texted the plan to Chan who immediately agreed. The seven members of the group hoped that a short visit with Changbin would help Felix some. They all worried about Jacob’s final message but tried not to focus on it until Felix was asleep. They needed to get Felix away from the man, sooner rather than later.
Chapter 22
Summary:
Changbin visits Felix and Felix finally gets some relief from his pain and his connected realize that he has been blocking the extent of it from them.
Notes:
First of all the comeback HOLY HELL! It's so freaking good!!
Now I apologize for the delay, I have been having a problem with the time zone issue and finally had to actually pull up flights and then make a spreadsheet for times and what happens when. I swear if anyone is watching my searches they have no idea where I live, where I am traveling and what I do for a living. I confuse google lol. It's one of my joys in life. Also it is apparently much easier to upgrade on a flight from Seoul to Paris than it is from Seoul to Sydney. Just you know in case you are ever trying to fly.
As always this story is fiction and any resemblance to reality comes solely from my knowledge of the guys and coincidence. Feedback is very important to me and helps feed my demanding muses. I post here and on Wattpad only. I work very hard on my craft so please don't steal it and if you see my work posted elsewhere please let me know. If you want to be alerted when I update you can follow me on twitter at _eyes_wideshut
Thank you to those who are still following this. These last few chapters have been excessively hard to write. I know what is about to happen but I had no clue how to get there so forgive my awkward attempts to move the story forward. I promise it will be better shortly.
Chapter Text
Chapter 22
Felix rubbed his forehead as he read the medical records he was trying to redact but his vision was slightly blurry and his head was pounding. He ended up having to restart several times out of lack of focus. He finally finished the document he was working on and uploaded it to the account just in time to join his team meeting via zoom. He sat through the usual small talk without saying anything. He noticed a few of his coworkers looking hard at his image in the meeting. One sent him a private message asking if he was ok and that he looked sick. He grimaced and shrugged instead of responding.
{H- You might want to consider taking a sick day, angel.} {F- it's not that bad yet. It's just a migraine like any I have had. I'm ok Jinnie. Don't worry about me.} {C- it's our job to worry about you baby. Let us do it.} Felix sighed and let it go. He took a break and grabbed a bottle of water and gulped it down, hoping that if nothing else the hydration would help. {C- I’m going to be there tomorrow baby. Hyung got me a flight for tonight. Jinnie and I are heading to the airport together in a couple hours and it's being listed for me as a production collaboration.} {F- I can’t wait to see you again.} The smile and excitement Felix felt was evident to the others.
The others looked at Changbin recognizing his expression. “Felix?” Chan asked.
“Yeah, he has a pretty bad migraine. We are trying to figure out how to help him.” Hyunjin answered.
Jisung started giggling and Minho looked over at him with a knowing smirk. Hyunjin gave them a dirty look not seeing what was funny about Felix being in pain. “Sorry Hyunjinnie, we were just thinking about how people say a headache is something people use to get out of having sex. In your case it's the opposite.” Minho explained.
“Changbin is gonna go fuck the pain away.” Jisung barely got out before he howled with laughter.
Seungmin was in the kitchen getting his coffee but they all heard him chuckle before he added to the growing chaos. “Does that mean Lix will ask for his paracetamol injection or will he just call your dicks his medicine?”
Jeongin and Chan who had not dissolved in laughter lost it at that. Changbin’s lips twitched and Hyunjin just looked horrified at the thought of naming his dick paracetamol. Felix laughed a bit. He knew he would laugh more later when he wasn’t in so much pain. The look of horror on Hyunjin’s face only added to the laughter, particularly Changbin and Felix who knew he was trying to figure out what exactly paracetamol was. {F- its tylenol baby.} Everyone was rolling on the floor laughing as they saw Hyunjin’s oh ... .EW! Expression as the joke was explained. Even Changbin was laughing. {C- You are adorable Hyunjinnie} {F- Yes he is.}
“Well before you all come up with more horrible names, I’m gonna go pack.” Changbin said, attempting to maintain his dignity. He grabbed his empty protein shake to throw it away as everyone attempted to calm themselves. Hyunjin had stayed stubbornly without laughing though his connected could feel how much he wanted to but he worried it would hurt Felix somehow. {F- so does that make it a love injection?} He teased and finally Hyunjin broke and laughed.
“Hyung,” Jeongin said with a wickedly straight face. “Please just remember. It's not recommended to take too much paracetamol. Limit to four injections a day or risk overdosing on dick.” He gave a wicked grin as everyone lost it all over again when Changbin threw the empty container at him.
“Innie, give the man a break,” Minho said and the gleam in his eye told everyone something good was coming. “I doubt Binnie has the stamina to give Lix liver failure from an OD of cock.” He winked at Changbin who blushed but grinned as he left the room.
“Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy trying.” He threw back over his shoulder.
Hyunjin and Changbin headed to the airport. Chan texted Felix to let him know. Felix had clocked out and taken the remainder of the day off sick. His boss had gotten one look at him on the camera and agreed immediately, telling him to take the following day off as well for a long weekend to get better. Felix watched Hyunjin and Changbin head to the airport and go through security. They waved at the few people and made their way through security as quickly as they could. Changbin sat with Hyunjin at his gate since his flight was first. Felix had been trying to sleep, desperate for some actual rest but hadn’t been able to, he had finally taken a sleeping pill at Hyunjin’s insistence even though it wasn’t even noon yet. They could tell he was finally getting some rest. “Jin, you sure you are good with this?” Changbin asked worriedly, he had held back the thought, not wanting Felix to feel more guilty but now that Felix was asleep they could talk.
Hyunjin looked at Changbin with surprise. “You know I am Bin.” He answered simply. “I would do anything to help Felix and he is hurting. If this will help him, of course I want you to go.” He smiled at the older man. “Thank you for worrying about my feelings though.”
“I have always worried about your feelings Jin. I worry a lot about how each of us feel. It’s not like any of us have any experience in poly relationships and I want to really make sure that none of us are feeling left out.”
Hyunjin gave him a fond look. “Hyung, even if it's just two of us, the third is there in spirit.”
“I know. But still.”
“You really are sweet. I sometimes forget how sweet you are.” Hyunjin thought of kissing Changbin and the elder could feel the ghost of the lips and smiled.
“Our little secret.” He teased. “Seriously though, what if he needs sex? We agreed no sex without all three of us.”
“Whatever he needs. He is our priority.” Hyunjin answered simply. Changbin nodded in agreement. The two organized their time tables. It was going to be somewhat awkward since Changbin and Felix would be 10 hours ahead of Hyunjin and they wanted to be careful not to have anything happening when Hyunjin was at events. “Whatever he needs, hyung.” Hyunjin reiterated.
Hyunjin left and Changbin had seven hours till his flight. Plenty of time to wonder if it had been a good idea after all for him to come with Hyunjin to the airport. {H- We agreed it was for the best.} {C- I know but just sitting and waiting is torture. I want to be on my way to him.} {H- at least he is actually sleeping. You get there in the morning. I’ll get to Paris first and you’ll arrive shortly after. It will be night in Paris so I will be alone in my room if we are needing time with him.} Changbin nodded and settled back to scroll social media while he waited. When he finally boarded, he winced at the economy seat. They had been able to upgrade Hyunjin’s seat to business but there was nothing but economy for himself. He sighed, at least he was in the aisle so he could get up and stretch from time to time.
Both men’s flights were long and they winced at feeling Felix’s pain when he woke. It was good they were doing this now because they didn’t think Felix would have been able to make it another couple days much less a week. He was glad his boss had told him to take Friday as well, knowing he would be unable to get out of bed. He made his way to the door to unlock it when Changbin landed and had caught a cab. He weakly made his way back to his bed almost wanting to crawl at the splitting pain radiating through his body. His body was racked with tremors from fever and he was curled into a ball holding himself. Felix could tell as Changbin got closer, he felt slightly better but it was so minimal relief considering how he had felt. He knew he had been feverish and sweating but had no energy to actually get into the shower, afraid of collapsing.
Hyunjin settled onto his bed to relax in his hotel room knowing what was coming. He had a lunch the next afternoon but for tonight he was in for the night so they were free to do whatever was needed.. Thank God for.Chan’s foresight in planning it this way. Hyunjin had laughed at having a hard on and having distance sex while trying to watch a fashion show and be interviewed. He could feel Felix’s headache but he could also feel his own headache beginning as well. He worried it would be adding to Felix’s pain but their sunshine was so lost in his own pain, he was unable to differentiate between what was his pain and anyone else's.
Changbin let himself into Felix’s apartment quietly. He went to the bedroom and dropped his bag and immediately dropped into the bed next to Felix, pulling his limp, feverish body against his own. “I got ya, Lix. I’m here, baby.” He kissed Felix and felt an immediate drop in Felix’s pain. Felix’s hands went beneath Changbin’s shirt. At the skin to skin contact the pain level dropped even more. Felix became frantic trying to get as much skin to skin contact as he could. “We’ve got you baby.” He pulled away enough to shuck off his clothes realizing the skin to skin contact helped. He moved back in and pulled Felix against him. They all moaned at the relief it provided. Felix latched onto him, frantic for the relief and chasing it somewhat out of his mind with the mixture of his pain and the relief Changbin’s touch was providing. “Easy Sunshine, I got you. We are gonna get rid of that pain baby.” He said and his lips moved to Felix’s neck. Hyunjin imagined kissing the other side of Felix’s neck and could taste the salt of his perspiration. They all moaned at the feeling.
“Wait, I’ve been sweating and running a fever all day.” Felix stuttered without much actual want to move, in fact his hands were pulling Binnie closer. “Let me shower first. I don’t want you seeing me like this.”
“We don’t care, Lix.” Changbin reassured him. “You are beautiful, baby, and you need this more than you need a shower.” Felix relented.
Changbin took his time prepping Felix. The more they touched and kissed, the more pleasure Felix felt, and the less pain he felt. It made the pleasure he was feeling that much more intense. By the time Changbin slowly slid inside and Felix wrapped his legs around the larger man’s waist; they were all moaning. {H- Fuck you both feel so fucking good. We have all needed this.} Changbin and Felix could feel him jerking off to them and Changbin thought about sucking Hyunjin into his mouth. Felix wanted to help but was so lost in his own need, he couldn’t focus on it. Instead he wrapped his own hand around his erection and jerked himself off in time with Changbin’s thrusts hoping it would help Hyunjin. It did. Their pleasure built and they all orgasmed as one, falling over the edge into bliss.
Felix lay in the aftermath and enjoyed the lack of pain. Changbin kissed him tenderly. “We missed you Sunshine.” He whispered in between sweet kisses. {H- So very much.} Changbin got off the bed and headed into the bathroom. He cleaned himself off and came back with a warm rag and cleaned Felix off too before getting into the bed with him and pulling Felix into his arms. “Better now, Sunshine?” He asked and kissed Felix’s forehead.
“So much better.” Felix sighed in relief. “Thanks Binnie. And Jinnie thank you for being ok with this.” {H- Your health, happiness and safety is important to both of us, baby. Besides, I enjoyed myself too.} He thought wryly.
“I missed you both so much.” Felix answered. “Fuck this feels so good.” They both knew he was referring to the lack of pain finally. {H- Sleep for now, baby. You need some rest.} Changbin gently stroked Felix’s back and let him finally relax into the best sleep he had had since he had left Korea. It didn’t matter that it was morning, Felix hadn’t slept a good amount of natural sleep since he had left Korea. Binnie hadn’t been able to really sleep on the plane with his worry so he hadn’t minded getting some sleep too.
Felix slept hard and long. Changbin slept for a few hours but by noon he was awake and wanted to have things in place so he could take care of Felix when he woke. He decided having some food on hand for when Felix got up would be a great surprise so he quietly got up to check the fridge but Felix had very little food on hand. Hyunjin was just crawling into bed being nine hours behind his connected chimed in. {H- why not order him some food? } {C- thats a great idea Jinnie!} It took only a few minutes to realize his English was not good enough to use any of the apps and without Felix awake they couldn't order. Hyunjin tried but he couldn’t help much either. He saw Felix's wallet and knew he could use that for the address but even with a translation app he couldn't make sense of the app. Sensing how deeply Felix was sleeping and knowing how much he needed it, Changbin refused to wake him.
He grabbed his phone. ~Hyung I need a favor~
~of course! What do you and Felix need? ~
Changbin explained their needs and gave Chan the address. In short order Chan ordered them some food and arranged to have some groceries delivered as well. By the time Felix sleepily made his way into the living room, Changbin had put away all the groceries and had their breakfast ready to serve. He looked up and found Felix, hair standing on end and rubbing his eyes sleepily; he was the most adorable sight Changbin had ever seen. “I have some food warmed up for you.”
Felix didn’t say anything, he just came up behind Changbin and hugged him, nuzzling his face into Binnie’s sweatshirt and back. He gently rubbed his face into the soft sweatshirt and inhaled the essence of his hyung. “Sleep well, Lix?” Felix just mumbled a response and Changbin chuckled. “Sit down baby boy, I’ll bring your food over.” Felix nodded and pressed a kiss into the bigger man’s back before moving over to sit down. Changbin brought over bowls of porridge with fruit and the table was set with milk and some brown sugar packets.
“Where did you get this?” Felix asked in wonder, frantically trying to figure out if he had oats on hand. Changbin laughed and Felix caught the memory of getting Chan’s help. He got a tender look as he looked at his hyung. “That's so sweet Binnie.” {H- thanks for taking care of our connected.} Hyunjin thought with a yawn as he woke up. {H- Being in such different time zones sucks.} The other two agreed.
“You didn’t have much food and you need to take care of yourself better, Lix.” Changbin said. “I know you put yourself last in every way but it's not just you in there anymore.” Referring to how they shared bodies as well as thoughts. “If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for us.” Felix gave him a sheepish look and nodded and the other two could feel his chagrin and vow to do better.
{H- sleep well baby?} {F- so well. Better than I have slept in a very long time.} Felix smiled. The other two analyzed his pain level and saw it had dropped considerably. There was some slight lingering achiness but nothing like the debilitating pain he had endured the day before. The two felt Hyunjin wince as his own pain sharpened. {F- How are you doing Hyunjinnie?} {H- I’m ok Lix. Though just the last 24 hours have taught me that you were blocking us more than we realized.} Changbin’s eyes shot to Felix as he ran through the thoughts Hyunjin was having. Hyunjin had realized just with the strength of his soreness and headache after only 24 hours that the level of pain Felix had been in was much worse than he had shared with them. {C- Felix! You don’t get to do that! If we are connected you have to tell us what's going on. It does us no good to be connected if you are hiding from us.} {F- I didn’t want you two in pain too. You seemed to be ok so I just figured it was better for one of us to feel it then all of us.} {C- Stop right there. We are in uncharted territory due to being unable to really find any other trio’s. We don’t know how it will affect all of us. It isn’t fair to us to blindside us to what's happening because it got too bad for you to block it anymore. What if we had been on stage when that happened?}
Felix’s eyes filled with tears as he considered that. “I’m sorry Bin. I just didn’t want you guys hurting because of me.” {H- Baby we understand that but that doesn’t make it ok. We can hide almost nothing from each other so you had to work to hide that and it's not ok to keep us in the dark like that. We love you and just like you need to make sure we are ok; we need to make sure you are ok. Do you know what it would have done to us if something had happened to you and we had been kept in the dark until it was too late?} {C- Besides we would have worked with you Sunshine to figure out what you needed to make it better.} Felix nodded as apologies spilled from his thoughts.
“Eat your breakfast Lix. Then we are gonna spend today giving you all the connection and touch we can.” It had become abundantly clear to the three that being touch starved was a huge deal to the connected particularly Felix whose love language was touch. It made the absence of his connected even sharper for him than it would have been for the others. Felix ate his breakfast and they cleaned up together before heading to the couch. Changbin sat and immediately pulled Felix down onto his lap cuddling him close before starting a kdrama they had all mentioned liking. Felix and Changbin spent the next several hours kissing and cuddling and split their attention between each other, the tv and watching what Hyunjin was doing. When their lithe dancer had been praised by Donatella they had grinned at each other. {F- We are so proud of you Hyunjinnie!} The connected could feel the man in question blush at the praise.
The time cuddling healed so much of what had been happening to Felix. While it seemed that for Changbin and Hyunjin it had been enough to be in close proximity with an occasional touch but for Felix, physical touch was what he had needed. Changbin, upon realizing this, slid his hand under the back of Felix’s shirt, running his hand lightly up and down Felix’s spine. Each pass of the hand had Felix melting a little more.
“Have you decided what to tell your parents yet?” Changbin asked quietly. Felix shook his head.
“They know about Jinnie so I was just going to tell them I am moving to be closer to him. I don’t know how to explain…” He gestured between them, “this.” Changbin nodded. He had no idea how to tell his family or Hyunjin’s either but Felix’s was more important since he was actually moving to another country. “I’ll tell them after you leave and make the plans as quick as possible. I will visit every few weeks if I have to until we get the move settled. I think I can be ready to go inside a month or maybe a little more. I just need you to find me a place.”
“I already told you, you are staying with us.” Changbin said.
“But you know that the company won’t be ok with that. I need you to do this on the level and set this up. Please.”
Changbin’s expression softened. “We will work with Chan on it. I promise baby, we won’t leave you hanging. When you move it will be ready and permanent.”
“Thank you, Binnie.” Felix grinned and kissed him and then gave little butterfly kisses on his nose. Changbin laughed and pulled Felix closer.
“We need to get your voice down on that recording, is that ok?”
“You guys really want me?” Felix asked with amazement.
“Yes. Your voice is amazing! The fans will go nuts for it!” Changbin reassured him, knowing that the fans would be craving more of Felix’s voice.” {F- You know I’m happy at my job, right?} {H- We know, Angel, he can’t help wanting it. But we know you love your job so Chan has even talked about setting up an office for you. We wouldn’t ask you to do anything you are uncomfortable with.} {F- I know it was just a knee jerk thought.} “We will support whatever choices you make, Lix.” Felix grinned at him feeling the love both men felt for him. He was ready for the move. If it meant he would be closer to Hyunjin and Changbin every day he would do whatever he needed to.
Chapter 23
Summary:
Things that start soft and fluffy tend to heat up, yes? In this chapter enjoy some soft fluff, some important conversations and explainations of the connection between the three, some heated spicy sexy moments and some...ok a lot of fear and pain. Be warned. Read the author note at the beginning for trigger warning information and know that the story is kicking into high gear.
Notes:
A/N And here we are again. First this is as always FICTION. I do not know or own any of the people mentioned here except the twisted Jacob and don't ask what corner of my mind he lurks in. I only post here and on Wattpad so please alert me if you see my writing elsewhere. I love feedback, it fuels my process (as an example this chapter has been half done for a couple weeks but I got a comment last night that triggered my need to finish this! Comments are food for my muse. I'm not holding my stories hostage or anything it just gets my creativity flowing faster. If you want to be alerted when I update any of my stories follow me on twitter at _eyes_wideshut. This chapter is dedicated to my beloved friend Makirasan whose own amazing writings along with her support of me (and the other two witches as well) always make me want to do my best and give me ideas. SO many of the moments over the last couple chapters have come about because of conversations with her. I credit her entirely for the whole pharmacetol conversation as well as several things in this chapter that her comments or conversations had me adding in details for. While I understand the connections and how it works I don't always take into consideration that you all don't so I love questions that make me flesh out the answers. She specifically had asked about the sleep medicine Felix took last chapter and how it would affect the others. I found a way to explain it here so I hope it help. Now this chapter starts soft and fluffy but it has some major trigger warnings. SO tw for abuse, blood, and in general for rage. If those bother you but you want to know what happened without getting triggered; stop reading at the *** and send me a message and I will explain what happened to the best of my ability without the triggering language. Now get to reading!
Chapter Text
Felix felt like he had slept too much but Changbin was sleeping hard and the smaller man didn’t want to wake him so instead he just had his head propped up on his hand and smiled watching his lover sleep. {F- He looks so peaceful like this.} {H- I don’t think any of us have slept particularly well lately. We have been worried about you so I think this is the most rest he has had since you left.} {F- I love you so much Hyunnie. You know that right?} {H- Lix, that is not even a question in my mind. You worry so much about everyone else and making sure everyone around you knows how much you care. Baby, I know with everything in me that you love me with all your heart. You also love hyung and that's wonderful. That just means you have more love in your life and more people to protect and care for that precious heart of yours.} Felix could feel the love and certainty Hyunjin felt and it calmed him. He had worried so much that Hyunjin would get possessive and jealous but instead he was supportive and happy for them. {H- Besides, it isn’t like I’m not there for it. As long as I am awake, I am right here for you both.} Felix nodded with a grin.
The two talked for a couple hours while Changbin slept. Felix could feel the alcohol Hyunjin had drunk at the party but it was like he could feel how it could make him feel. It was like one step back from actually affecting him which was an interesting feeling. He could feel the giddiness he normally felt when drunk but with a clear mind. That was kind of cool. {H- Min hyung mentioned he and Jisung had experimented some, I just assumed they meant sex stuff but they could have meant this too.} Felix nodded.
He looked over and could see Hyunjin laying on his bed, bare and lightly covered by a sheet, his face clear of makeup and his arms wrapped around a pillow, facing a mirror the way they all seemed to unconsciously do now so that the others could see them. {F- You are so beautiful Jin.} His eyes swept over the honey colored skin. His body deceptively lanky but hiding quite a lot of muscle when he wanted to show it. His movements were also so seductive without even meaning to be. He just had that gift.
In return Hyunjin’s eyes lazily swept down Felix who had his head resting on a sleeping Changbin’s chest. He could feel the weight of the muscular rappers arm around him, and how it made Felix feel tiny and precious. He could feel how much he adored that feeling and realized with the way Jacob had constantly treated him as if he were fat and unable to ever attract anyone else, how much he loved this feeling. He had Hyunjin who had been recruited for JYPE merely for his appearance before he had even built his skills and he had Changbin who was so muscular. With the two it completely invalidated everything Jacob had ever said about him. Here he was desired and loved by two incredibly handsome men and both were strong. Hyunjin made him feel small due to his height but it wasn’t until he felt the safety of Changbin’s arm around him that he realized how much Felix loved being made to feel tiny and fragile by them.
{F- It isn’t so much that I like feeling fragile, I just love that I don’t feel huge.} Hyunjin understood. Jacob had always made him feel like a blob so feeling tiny and precious and so loved meant everything to Felix. It was the exact opposite of Jacob and just that helped to undo so much of the lies he had believed to be true. It helped Felix to build confidence and see himself as he truly was rather than as he had been told. Just the safety of that large arm wrapped so gently around him with love and tenderness filled Felix with joy. Because Hyunjin was focusing on that; Felix thought about how he felt wrapped in Hyunjin’s arms. How the long arms wrapping around him made him feel blanketed and covered. While Hyunjin didn’t have the muscles Changbin did, he had the height and the length of limbs to just wrap around Felix in a different way that also made him feel protected. Both of his connected made him feel precious and tiny and loved just in different ways and Felix wouldn’t trade either of them for the world. Hyunjin smiled. {H- Thank you for showing me how I make you feel, Angel.} {F- I always want you to know how I feel.)
Hyunjin’s eyes narrowed on him. {H- Except when you are in pain.} He thought flatly. {H- You don’t get to decide that for us. How did you even hide it? I thought you were crap at blocking.} {F- Honestly I don’t know. I just knew it would hurt you both to know I was hurting and I didn’t want to be the cause of your pain. I….I think that because I was doing that, I was unconsciously pulling your pain in.} {H- So you were feeling it for all three of us?} He took some time to think about that. It made total sense. Felix was subconsciously so set on them not feeling discomfort due to him that he took the complete effects of their separation onto himself. That Felix could take their pain away was a thought for another day and at a time when they could experiment a bit. {H- That's so dangerous Angel. You can’t ever do that again. I know that you didn’t mean to and I know that you just don’t want to ever be an imposition but we were blindsided by how bad it truly was. We could have made this so much better for you if you had just let us. We are connected and we agreed on honesty. We need you to be open, even at the risk of hurting us, ok?} Felix immediately agreed. {F- Now that I know what I was doing, I will be able to consciously not do it.} Hyunjin nodded and traced his hand over Felix’s jaw in his thoughts. {H- You are so loved, baby. We want you with us for a long time to come.}
Felix smiled at the dancer and watched as the other man yawned and looked over at the clock 10pm in Paris; 8am in Sydney. {F- Get some sleep, Jinnie. You fly home tomorrow} Hyunjin yawned again and nodded. {F- Sweet dreams baby.} {H- Thank you, Angel.} Felix stayed there with Hyunjin until the man fell asleep. While he couldn’t see him with his eyes closed and not looking at the mirror, he could feel him and feel his body and hear his thoughts slowing and relaxing. It was peaceful. Felix kissed his forehead just before the connection cut completely as Hyunjin floated into slumber. He could hear the low hum of Hyunjin’s dreams and it was kind of fascinating to Felix. Both of his lovers let out a hum or buzz showing the connection was present but they weren’t conscious so there was no emotion or body connected to the sound that was more a thrum in his body than a physical sound.
Felix watched Changbin, his eyes tracing over the lines of his face, the muscular body relaxed in sleep. His usual grin not present in his dreams but his expression was peaceful. Changbin smacked his lips softly and stretched his arms up and before reaching back out for Felix. His eyes slowly blinking open. “Good morning.” Felix said with a grin.
“Mmm.. Morning, beautiful.” Changbin’s voice was gravely with sleep and Felix adored hearing it like that. Changbin cupped the back of his neck and pulled him down to meet his own seeking lips. They shared a sweet kiss that turned a bit spicy as Changbin nipped at his lower lip. Felix giggled which in turn filled Changbin with adoration and pride as giving that joy to Felix.
They spent the morning cuddling, kissing and just talking to each other. It felt so good for both of them to be forming their own bonds outside of their connection. Felix told Changbin more about his relationship history, going into detail about his relationship with Jacob and how it had progressed. Changbin told Felix about his family and when he spoke of his sister, Felix could feel the love he had for her. It made Felix smile. They talked all day, getting up to snack or go to the bathroom but always coming back to the bed. Eventually Changbin attached a portable mic to his phone and recorded Felix giving the lines Jisung had written for him. He was shy and embarrassed at first but with a little encouragement he gave the lines perfectly.
“I wish you didn’t have to go tomorrow.” Felix said softly as they both watched Hyunjin up and packing for his flight. Changbin smiled at him.
“I know, beautiful.” He said gently. “It won’t be so long this time. You will come to Korea in a couple weeks and we will do that as often as we need to until you move there.” Felix could feel his determination to make sure the three of them would have lots of quality time together for the next visit. He smiled at his boyfriend. Felix loved that Changbin had started calling him beautiful. It felt so warm and loving. He knew that Binnie was really trying to make sure Felix felt how desired and cared for he was with that nickname. He loved it so much. First Hyunjin, then Changbin and all the other guys in their way had let him know what it felt like to be truly loved and part of a family; well a family other than his family. A chosen family? A connected family? They were in some ways closer than the family Felix had always had.
Felix adored his parents and his sisters but his two connected and their five brothers had a wholly different bond with him. One that he truly treasured and couldn’t imagine ever losing. {H- You won’t lose us Sunshine. You can’t. We are here forever.} Binnie just smiled at Felix and agreed with Hyunjin. “You two mean so much to me. You make me feel brave and loved and confident.”
“You should feel those things, beautiful. You are everything we could ever want. You make all of us whole. You have beauty, compassion, and you love more fiercely than anyone I have ever met. You wear your heart out there for everyone to see. I’ve never met anyone like you before. You don’t hide who you are and I don’t just mean because I can hear your thoughts. You do it with everyone. You are amazing, baby and it's high time someone got the privilege to show you that. I’m so glad Jinnie and I got that lucky.”
Felix’s eyes teared up a bit and he could feel Hyunjin’s lips gently press his forehead. Changbin smiled at both men, Felix in front of him and the presence of Hyunjin he could feel but not see. They watched Hyunjin head to the airport for his flight as they curled up for the night. Felix fought tears at knowing that in just over twelve hours Changbin would be gone. He relished this time with him though and he was so grateful that Binnie had come.
“No more hiding and taking our pain. We need to know what's going on.” Changbin said sternly having been filled in on Hyunjin and Felix’s conversation while he slept. Felix nodded and promised that he would stop trying to protect them from his pain and absorb their own. The two men were lost in dreams by the time Hyunjin boarded his flight home. He actually relished the slight discomfort he felt at their separation and the thrum in his body of their dreams. It let him know the connection was there even though he couldn’t feel them at the moment.
He arrived back home before the other two even woke and was making his way through the airport when he felt them begin to stir and their thoughts started to flicker in. As they got up and got breakfast together, Hyunjin made his way back to the dorms and unpacked and showered the travel off himself. The other two enjoyed his hands soaping his body a bit too much and quickly there were three hands soaping him up and lips kissing his neck and nipples. Hyunjin moaned at the suddenness of the lust they all felt. It would be their last time this visit, they all knew it. Hyunjin quickly rinsed himself off and got out of the shower, wrapping a bathrobe around himself and laying back on the bed.
Changbin and Felix worked in tandem licking the moisture off his skin, hands caressing his entire body. Hyunjin moaned softly. He wanted to watch his lovers come apart by his hands and mouth but they apparently thought he needed that more. He saw them grin at each other over his body. They both wrapped their hands around his dick. He could feel Felix’s tiny, slightly cold hand covered by Changbin’s large strong and warm hand. The two worked him over until he was crying out and begging to cum. He looked completely wrecked and the other two felt the triumph of reducing Hyunjin to this. They continuously worked him to the edge and then backed off as one, forcing his body to calm down. He whined every time, though he loved it as well. In his haze of lust he could feel Changbin working Felix open and moaned at feeling those fingers stroking inside himself. There was something to be praised about sex as a connected. When you could feel everything your partner felt, there was no discomfort. How could there be? Your connected knew the second you did when something felt good or bad and adjusted accordingly. There was no second guessing if someone was ready and no fear of things being even the slightest bit off. Literally your every wish was fulfilled the second the want even passed through you. Almost before it was an actual thought. It was the ultimate high.
He looked up, seeing Felix lowering himself onto his cock and moaned as he could feel Changbin filling him and Felix so deliciously. He could see how Felix looked above him settling into place to ride him, hands pressed to his and Changbin’s pecs. He could feel how Felix felt around his cock and they could feel his hand jerking them off. They built their pace together as one and for Felix it was ending too soon. He stopped moving and started thinking gross things to back them away from their approaching orgasm. {F- Not yet. I’m not ready for it to be over yet. A little longer. Hold out a little longer.} He begged them, gasping for air to calm himself. And they tried. They truly did. But when you are connected and you can feel not only your own impending orgasm but theirs as well, it was impossible to not go over the edge together. Changbin’s hands gripping his hips, dragging him over the length of his dick, Picking Felix up from above him and fucking into the tiny man; his strength completely in charge as he held Felix in the air and raised and lowered him as he fucked up into him. Felix had never felt so tiny and yet sexy as he did in that moment. He had no idea this could even be done and it was the hottest thing that had ever happened to him. But in that moment he had no room to even think. The three galloped over the edge of bliss together as Felix collapsed on their chests, breathing hard. Changbin and Hunjin cradled him and kissed his head, hands stroking his back gently.
{H- Damn. That was amazing!} He worked to catch his breath. The other two agreed.
Hyunjin got back in the shower to both finish bathing from before as well as clean up again as the other two took turns showering. Changbin packed up his belongings as Hyunjin made his way to the company and met up with Minho in the dance studio. They began running through their routine for the new songs, wanting to perfect it and iron out any issues before showing it to the others. Changbin gently kissed Felix. {C- Let us know when you think you need a visit and we will fly you to us asap. Don’t wait.} Felix nodded his agreement. He felt sad that Changbin was leaving but because he was in the man’s head, it wasn’t as sad as it could have been. It wasn’t like a good bye or even a see you later. He wasn’t leaving, not really. The body was, yes, but the mind was staying right here. {C- We adore you beautiful.} “Love you too Binnie!” Felix said with a cheeky grin since Changbin hadn’t said the L word yet even though they all felt the love he had for Felix. He wasn’t ready to say it and that was ok. Felix could feel it anyway. Changbin flushed slightly and kissed Felix once more before leaving.
Felix spent the ride to the airport cleaning up his kitchen and starting some laundry. His extra long weekend would be over the next morning and he was determined to make up for his horrible performance last week. He baked some muffins so he could have ready breakfasts for the week as Changbin made his way through security. He wasn’t looking forward to this flight. He wished for the millionth time that they had been able to get a direct flight or even a business class with layovers. But alas he was in coach again with a four hour layover in Malaysia. He sighed. It was going to be a long day.
Changbin boarded the flight as Felix made us his bed with fresh sheets and put away his clean clothes. Felix called his parents and asked if he could have dinner with them this week so he could talk to them about some things. He was finally going to tell them about the move and set things in motion. He appreciated that his connected had left the decision up to him but they all knew it was necessary. But at least with him making the decision it didn’t feel forced. Changbin’s plane took off and Felix mentally squeezed his hand reminding him it wouldn’t be long until they saw each other again.
Hyunjin and Minho had called the others into the studio and were showing their choreography for the upcoming songs. They ran through each three times. The first was to show the technical dance, the second was a slowed down version and the third adding variations to personalize them.They always did this. The first time showed the others the dance with no extras. The second showed them how their bodies would be moving and how to stay on beat and hit their marks. The third gave them ideas for how to make the dance their own with facial expressions or an extra pop here and there. Minho always demanded perfection for timing and making sure they were in sync but he also wanted them each to shine in their own way. It always made their choreography more interesting. They were perfectly on beat together but you could look at a blacked out silhouette of the dancer and be able to tell who it was just by subtle movements. Hyunjin was beyond proud of that and he grinned.
*********************
TW begin
“So, you couldn’t just whore yourself out to one man you had to fuck multiple?” A cold voice said behind him and Felix froze for a second before spinning to see Jacob standing in his living room. “You really are a whore. First that blond guy and now the muscle meat head idiot!” His voice was full of rage as he stalked closer to Felix.
“How did you get in here?” Felix demanded and his blood went cold as he saw the keys being shaken mockingly in Jacob’s hand. “How did you know about Changbin?” Jacob’s eyes had a glint in them and he smirked.
“Oh I know lots of stuff babe. You’d be surprised. For example I know that you are fucking your way through that stupid group you like.”
Hyunjin was shaking with rage and fear while Changbin was working hard to compartmentalize what was happening so that he didn’t alert anyone on the plane to the absolute rage that was overtaking him. Hyunjin got on the phone and immediately called the police, sending them to Felix’s address as Jacob struck suddenly. He punched Felix hard in the solar plexus which forced the air out of his lungs and Felix couldn’t catch his breath. Changbin texted the group chat telling them to get him back there NOW. As he was already in the air there was nothing they could do but Seungmin started pulling flight information anyway looking for a solution. Hyunjin was giving the police as well as his members a play by play of what was happening. The police seemed confused but his exasperated “I’ll explain later!” quieted the questions.
Felix hit the ground on his back and Jacob jumped on top of him, eyes deranged in his rage. Felix could see nothing now of the man he had once loved. “You are MINE!” Jacob screamed at him. “I won’t let them have you. If you won’t be mine, you won’t be anybody’s.” His hands wrapped around Felix’s throat and squeezed. Felix bucked up trying to throw him off but Jacob was too strong. However, his previous punch worked against him. Felix had already been out of breath so choking him wasn’t as effective as he wanted. Felix gripped his thumbs and bent them back and Jacob whimpered angrily as the pressure point Felix was using made him loosen his grip. Felix finally caught a breath. {C- Slow and steady, beautiful. Don’t panic. You are doing great. Keep that grip.} Felix didn’t know how he was doing it but he could feel Changbin pouring strength into him, almost sharing his own.
“I’m not yours!” Felix wheezed out. “I never belonged to you and I never will. How did you even know about them?” He demanded and saw Jacob glance up. Felix’s gaze followed his and once he saw the red light it clicked. The asshole had hidden cameras inside his apartment, in the vents. He had watched everything. Felix felt sick at the invasion. He thought he had gotten rid of Jacob and instead Jacob had been watching his every move.
“Your little fuck buddy got to the airport and I followed him and waited until I was sure he was gone.” {C- I will fucking kill him} Hyunjin could no longer talk to the cops unable to actually focus on the English to tell them what was happening at the same time he could feel what was happening to his connected and Chan gently took the phone from him and relayed everything to them for Hyunjin. “You won’t be fucking anyone else ever again. You should have stayed with me and let me take care of you.”
“Take care of me?” Felix laughed derisively. “You mean abuse me.”
“I loved you, you little bitch!” Jacob screamed at him shook his hands free and punched Felix’s jaw.
Felix spat out some blood from his mouth where his teeth had just sliced his cheek. “You don’t know the meaning of love. You have a problem now Jacob, you see they aren’t just my fuck buddies. We are connected, you idiot. Do you know what that means?” He endured another couple punches, blocking the blows as best he could though his position wasn’t the best for that. “It means that we share minds and bodies.” He could see the glimmer of realization pass across Jacob’s face. “It means; you worthless piece of shit, that the second you spoke they were on the phone to the police letting them know you were here. They know every single thing you have done and are telling the police every detail as it happens.”
Jacob screamed a sound of pure rage. His hands suddenly gripped Felix’s hair in a vice grip and slammed his head into the floor so hard it made Felix feel somewhat dizzy but it didn’t stop, he did it again and again. “They are coming for you.” Felix whispered just before he went unconscious from the blows. When their connection abruptly severed, Changbin had to lock all his muscles down to stop himself from jumping up. Hyunjin let out a howl of pure pain and anguish and Minho caught him as his legs gave out and Chan quietly alerted the police that Felix was now unresponsive. If they had been able to be in Felix’s head they would have heard the sirens getting loud as they got closer, but instead there was only silence.
Chapter 24: Chapter 24
Summary:
The boys work on getting to Felix, the truth comes out in more ways than one.
Notes:
A/N see I promised it wouldn't take long! As always this story is fiction. I cross post this here and wattpad but it doesn't have my permission to be posted anywhere else. Comments really fuel my muse so please let me know what you think if you like what I write. Thank you all for the love you show this story. I know you have talked about refreshing to see updates, I do the same for comments, kudos etc. They remind me that people out there are as in love with this story as I am. Thank you for that. If you want to be alerted when I update, you can follow me on _eyes_wideshut on twitter. This story is definitely kicking into high gear so hold onto your hat! Enjoy!
Chapter Text
Chapter 24
The practice room was chaotic as soon as Hyunjin went down with a scream the likes of which the others had never heard before and never wanted to again. Minho had caught him and lowered him to the floor gently. Jisung had grabbed a coat and stuffed it under Hyunjin’s head while Jeongin grabbed a bottle of water and brought it over. Seungmin was furiously typing on his computer searching for flight information for themselves and Changbin.
Chan stayed on the phone with the police as they arrived at the scene. Jacob had already fled, leaving the door wide open. They reassured Chan that Felix had a pulse but that he looked to be in bad shape and was unconscious. They reassured him the paramedics should be arriving soon and that they would be transporting him to the local hospital immediately. Chan told them he would call Felix’s parents and provided his phone number for any questions. He also informed them that they were going to catch the first available flight to Sydney immediately and would be there as soon as possible. They would be available for any questions at that time.
He hung up as Hyunjin sat up in a panic. “I’ve got to get to him!” He yelled at the others.
They all tried to calm him but he heard nothing they said. “HYUNG!” Jeongin finally yelled at him and Hyunjin froze. “This isn’t helping Felix! You HAVE to calm down!” He said sternly. He could tell he had finally gotten through when Hyunjin took a deep breath before he looked up at Chan.
“Is he alive?” He asked, the terror in his voice hard for them to hear.
“Yes.” Chan said and crouched in front of him. “He is alive, Jin. We need to get there as quickly as possible and to do that we need your help. Can you hold it together for us so we can do that?” His voice was kind but also no nonsense. Though only he and Changbin were connected to Felix, that connection meant he was part of the Stray Kids family and they took care of their own. Hyunjin took another deep breath and nodded. “What do you feel from him?”
“Nothing. It's silent. Usually when we sleep there is this hum or buzz that is more internal than a sound but right now there is nothing. It's scaring the shit out of me!”
“When Sungie had his checkup thing when they knocked him out; that happened too.” Minho said softly as he rubbed Hyunjin’s back. Changbin took a calming breath in at that. “When we sleep, our brains are still active so there is that residual thrum you were talking about. But when someone is actually unconscious there is a disconnect between the brain and the mind so there is nothing to transmit. The connection will be fine once he is awake again.” Minho reassured him. Hyunjin nodded. {C- I know Jin, I’m terrified too but there is nothing we can do at this second. He needs us to focus on getting there. We have to hold in our panic right now.}
“Thank you Min for sharing that. I know it will help both Hyunjin and Changbin. Now, I need Lix’s parent’s number so I can call them and let them know what happened.” Chan said.
Hyunjin wiped his face and sat up a bit, nodding before he paused. “No. I need to call them. They speak Korean so it's ok. I need you to go to the bosses and smooth it for Felix to come here with us when he is released and to push our schedules off. I’m not going to have him going back to that apartment alone. I also need you to call Vanessa so she and Arny can be at the hospital.”
“I can take that.” Jisung offered. “I will call her.”
“Jeongin and I can go to the dorms and pack bags for everyone.” Minho offered.
“Minnie?” Chan asked.
Seungmin held up a hand. “I have us booked on a flight tonight at 8 landing in Sydney tomorrow morning. I left the return flight open since we don’t know how long we will be there. I am looking for a solution to Bin now.”
“He has a layover in Kuala Lumpur.” Hyunjin offered. “Can he turn around and go back from there?”
“Yes.” Seungmin said. “Bin?” He said to Hyunjin. “Text me your expected arrival and I will arrange the return flight.” He watched Hyunjin nod Changbin’s agreement. “Is hyung ok?”
Hyunjin’s eyes lost some of the haunted look as Seungmin’s worry registered. “Changbin is ok. He is trying his best to keep it together while he is on the plane. It took everything he had to not react while that was happening.” He reassured the others.
Things moved rather quickly after that. Hyunjin called Felix’s mother who panicked immediately and raced to the hospital without even pausing to ask how he knew. Jisung called Vanessa and stuttered an explanation that he was a friend of Felix’s and family of his connected. He told what had happened; her tone of alarm made it very clear how much she cared for Felix. “I will get Arny and we will head to the hospital. I will send updates as they happen. Tell the connected that I will protect him.” Jisung thanked her and hung up.
Seungmin found a flight from Kuala Lumpur back to Sydney. It would be almost a five hour layover which Binnie wasn’t happy about but his flight arrived just after the earlier flight left and there was no way he would make the transfer. Seungmin sent Binnie the flight details and his boarding information. He wished there were more he could do but without additional ways to help he sat and worried.
Chan was meeting with their managers and was refusing to give additional information. He told them they had had a family emergency in Sydney that immediately required all schedules to be put on hold and all the members were needed immediately. They fought him trying to get more details but he refused to grant the information. He said they would explain everything when they returned and that when they came back they would have someone living with them indefinitely. When Div 1 bosses were insistent that wouldn’t be happening he dropped the one threat they had. That they nor the group had a choice in this matter, it was a matter of life or death. If Div 1 wouldn’t accept these conditions; the whole group left immediately. They would break their contract and go public with why. Chan promised them it was for good reason and they would understand once the guys had a chance to explain but he told them their need to go and to go NOW was too urgent to allow for the explanations now. With him not giving them a choice they agreed. Assigning a few bodyguards to go with them.
They all made it to the airport just in time. With no pre schedule, the paparazzi had no warning and were not there to take pictures which was just as well, the guys had no smiles to give. Changbin had landed for his layover and because Seungmin had been able to upgrade his flight to first class, he had access to the lounge. He appreciated the quiet there. He couldn’t have eaten, instead he plugged up his phone and stared out the window, he and Hyunjin comforting each other and praying for the moment Felix would wake.
Vanessa would occasionally text updates to Jisung and he would relay them to the other guys. She had gotten Felix’s phone and called his boss to let her know what was happening. The six were in the air by the time Changbin was able to board his return flight. He was frantic to get back to Felix but there was nothing more he could do to speed the process so instead he imagined holding Hyunjin and offered his connected what comfort he could. Hyunjin sniffed softly. He was in quite a daze over the situation but was working hard to hold it together. He could fall apart when he saw Felix but not yet. Right now he had to focus on getting there. He almost wished he could drive or even run so that he would at least be DOING something instead of sitting here.
They landed just after 8 in the morning and the group headed immediately for the door but Seungmin stopped and put a hand out to stop one of their bodyguards. “I’m waiting here for hyung. He has been alone long enough.” He said simply. Chan looked at him and wanted to argue but he could see the quiet resolve on Seungmin’s face and nodded. Bin had been alone for too long through this
Binnie watched the guys arrive at the hospital. He saw Hyunjin greet Felix’s parents with a hug before turning to Vanessa and Arny who he felt like he knew at this point. He saw Vanessa’s eyes widen as she realized who they were but she said nothing. Felix’s mom and dad updated Hyunjin on Felix’s condition. He was still unconscious but the doctors had said not to worry just yet. They said his head injury was moderate and he appeared to have some broken ribs a black eye and several bruises. Changbin watched Felix’s parents ask how Hyunjin had known but he didn’t answer. His eyes burning with emotion.
Changbin met up with Seungmin and security and together they headed to the hospital. He entered the room and immediately went to Felix’s side and kissed his forehead gently. “I’m so sorry Lix, I should have stayed. If I had known I would have stayed.”
“It wasn’t your fault hyung.” Hyunjin said, holding onto Changbin and hugged him close.
“I was right there and the bastard followed me to the airport and waited to make sure I was gone. I was right there!” The rage and torment of the last twenty two hours had been hell for him.
“You were the one with him?” Mrs. Lee asked in confusion.
“Yes.” Hyunjin said, turning to them. “This is Changbin, he is ... .I really want Felix awake for this conversation….” he moved to try to explain what was happening but the monitors attached to Felix began beeping more quickly. All heads turned to him as a nurse came in to check on him. She looked up and smiled at the large group.
“He appears to be trying to wake up. Give him a bit and he will be awake.”
Arny, Vanessa, Jeongin and Jisung went down to the cafeteria to get coffees for everyone; knowing they had all had a long night. They were in the process of handing them out when Changbin and Hyunjin's heads snapped to Felix. “He’s awake.” Changbin said in English. The thrum below their skin was suddenly back and the two men welcomed it even though it included the pain of Felix's body.
Felix's eyelids fluttered weakly. “Hey, Angel,” Hyunjin said. “We are all here baby. Can you open your eyes for me?” He held Felix's hand and stroked it gently. Felix's eyelashes fluttered again and this time they raised as his eyes opened.
“Hey there, beautiful.” Binnie crooned as his eyes met Felix’s.
“Bin? Didn't you leave?” Felix asked in confusion.
“Yeah baby and I am so sorry about that.” Changbin said and he ran a hand over Felix’s cheek lovingly. “I’m back, we are all here. Minnie was on the computer organizing flights as soon as he hit you.”
“Does someone want to explain what the hell is going on here?” The voice exploded from the other side of the bed and Felix flinched immediately and Minho reflexively stepped between Felix and his father.
“Hyung, it's ok.” Hyunjin said. “He was just startled.” He reassured Minho.The older member looked back and met Felix’s eyes. The tiny man in the hospital bed whose body was so bruised and hurt hesitated, moved to bite his lip but froze when he felt the split lip. He finally nodded.
“I’m ok hyung. He doesn’t know or understand what is happening. I think it's time we tell.” He looked at both of his connected. “Is this ok?” {C- Of course, beautiful. I’m fine with us telling them whatever you need to.} “Thank you, Binnie.” He turned to Hyunjin. {H- We are with you, Angel. Whatever you want to tell them we will support.} “So everything is ok?” They both nodded and he turned to his parents who were looking confused at the half conversation. Vanessa and Arny motioned to the door in question asking if he wanted them to leave but Felix shook his head no with a smile. “No you guys were there for some of it so I want you to be here for the explanation.”
The couple nodded but Arny did shut the door to keep this private. Felix took a deep breath. “Mum, Da, you both know Jinnie and that we are together or at least you suspected though when you met him we were just starting.” They both nodded. “We told you we met at the mall and we did. That was the truth. But you commented that it must have been an impactful meeting and it was more than you could understand.” He stopped to look and Hyunjin who gave him a nod of approval and Changbin squeezed his hand gently.
“A lot of this is going to be really hard to believe.” Felix said worriedly.
“Lix, you guys have proved the truth. Just talk and they will believe you.” Chan said and Felix looked at him gratefully. He nodded and took a deep breath, wincing at his ribs protesting.
“When I was at the mall looking for a gift for Jacob…” {H- asshole!} {C- I don’t like you saying his name.} Felix glanced over at them. “Let me tell it and that means I will be saying his name. I know he is an asshole,” he said to Hyunjin before turning to Changbin “And I know you don’t like hearing me say his name. Just let me tell this.” Both men looked sheepish and nodded. Felix turned back to his parents. “I was at the mall looking for a gift for Jacob. Skz were there for a fan meet. I had been there for a few hours and couldn’t find anything. I was getting frustrated. I was walking near the food court and ran into some guy and looked up and saw Hyunjin and I passed out.”
“What??” His mother cried out. “Why didn’t you tell us…”
“Please let him tell it.” Hyunjin asked softly. “This is very difficult for him and he is struggling over telling you all this and if you interrupt he won’t get through it.” He was being as respectful as he could. His father’s face began to turn red.
“Jin is being kind. Felix needs quiet. Please respect that. He has had enough yelling at him lately.” Changbin added bluntly and Mrs. Lee froze and shrank back.
“Thank you Bin and Jin.” Felix added before turning back to his parents. “I know you both have questions. Please wait. This is really hard to do right now but it's important to get this out before the police come for my side of what happened. I don’t want you blindsided by what we have to tell them.” His parents nodded and settled back. “So I passed out and when I came to I looked over and saw Hyunjin had passed out too. He was helped up and I was helped up and we went about our business with one little..”
“Huge.” Hyunjin threw in and Felix laughed slightly.
“Fine. One huge change.” He glanced at his parents, his eyes pleading for them to believe him. “I could hear his thoughts. We didn’t understand what was happening. I could taste his food and hear every thought that went through his mind. He could speak and read English perfectly. We thought it was weird and that it would go away when he went back to Korea. It didn’t. We began researching it. It turns out we are part of a group they call the connected. People who have a need can connect with someone if both parties need something the other can fulfill. It is becoming more known and even some laws are being set up to protect us. Sometimes it goes away once the needs are met but other times especially in romantic connections…” He smiled over at Hyunjin and Changbin and then turned back to his parents.
“Romantic connections appear to be permanent. We didn’t start as a romantic connection but I think my body knew I needed him. Jacob and I weren’t doing well and you already know there was more going on behind the scenes. He was mentally and physically abusive to me. He had me fully believing that I would never do any better, that I was weak and a loser, fat and undesirable. Being in Hyunjin’s mind began showing me a different side. He hated the way Jacob talked to me and treated me. And because he was in my head and my body but Jacob didn’t know, he saw things Jacob didn’t let others see. It began to open my eyes to what was really happening. I began to realize that I was loveable. That I am desirable. That people do actually want me around. It built my confidence.”
Feeling how thirsty he was, Changbin held out a cup of water and silently urged him to take a few sips. After he did, Felix then turned to Vanessa and Arny and he smiled at them. “Then Jacob decided I should host a poker night for him and his friends. He had met Arny who didn’t know him well and had never met me but he brought Nessa with him. That night Jacob humiliated me in front of his friends and Arny and Nessa were not happy about how I was being talked about.”
“We were horrified Lix. No one should talk about someone they love like that.” Arny said and looked down at Vanessa, his eyes shining with love. “You treat people you love like they are important to you. You lift them up and never tear them down.” Vanessa grinned back up at her boyfriend and bounced happily in place.
“They stood up for me and offered to kick out the others. I was so hurt that night, I let them. They took care of me that night and we became friends. Watching how they interacted and feeling the things Hyunjin thought and felt made me realize I wanted better. Jacob showed back up and slapped me and I decided to end things. I broke up with him. I was already falling in love with Hyunjin anyway but had I been happy with Jacob I wouldn’t have ended things with him. I don’t think if that had been the case, I would have fallen for Hyunjin. I think I needed real love and Hyunjin could provide it so we connected. As soon as I broke up with Jacob it became real that we were going to try to see where this would go. Hyunjin made plans to come see me.”
Hyunjin picked up the story and they continued through telling how everything had happened. Though they didn’t go into details about their sexual side they did talk about everything else. Everything leading up to the visit to Korea. The others chimed in to add their perspectives for various things and they would pause whenever nurses came in to check on Felix. Finally they arrived at the pivotal moment. Changbin softly took up the story of seeing Felix come in. How they all had laughed that Hyunjin couldn’t be there when they met him. How he watched proudly as his brothers met Jinnie’s connected. How he felt as it became his turn and then how the world exploded internally. Felix squeezed his hand and smiled at him.
“I wasn’t expecting it.” Felix picked the story back up.”I was so terrified that Jinnie would be angry at me even though I had no control over it.” He looked over at Hyunjin with a smile. “He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t just happy about it but he didn’t blame me and he was determined to do whatever I needed to make things ok. That night they connected as well.” He watched the two men look at each other and grin. “I know we have no experience with poly relationships but I love them. Both of them so so much. They have made me happier than you can believe.”
“Because I had been added into the connection; we started researching harder. It is a health risk as we explained earlier to be apart from your connected but Felix and Hyunjin hadn’t experienced more than some minor headaches and achiness during their separation so we weren’t prepared for the results of the three of us being apart.” Changbin said. He began explaining what had happened since the visit going all the way through the attack. Finally the room got quiet.
“How….how could you not tell us any of this?” His mother asked, her voice broken. “You must have felt so lost and alone and yet not.” She looked at Hyunjin. “I knew you had more to do with my son’s relationship breaking up but when we met you, your bond was so strong it settled our fears. I can see during this conversation you answering questions that weren’t asked.”
“They weren’t asked aloud mom. They were asked though.” Felix told her gently.
“We know this is a lot to take in. We needed some convincing when it happened. You are taking it better than I did.” Chan added sheepishly with a grin to his brothers.
“This is a lot, honey.” His mother admitted.
“You said you can’t be apart for long?” His father asked. Felix nodded. “I assume since they are idols they can’t be based out of Australia so I assume you are going to have to move there?” Felix nodded again.
“I was planning to talk to you this week about it.”
“We have arranged for you to move to the dorm with us.” Chan told him. “They know someone is coming home with us. I did not answer any questions, I told them we would explain everything when we got back.”
“How did you get them to agree?” Changbin asked.
“I threatened for all of us to break the contract.” Chan answered bluntly. There was a gasp around the room but Seungmin nodded.
“We would have to. It would kill them to be apart.” He said. “That was a good threat and we would do it.” He looked over at Felix. “You are part of our family. You were the moment you connected with Hyunjin. We would protect each other with everything we have and you are one of us now.”
“Thank you Minnie.” Felix said with an affectionate look. “Thank all of you. I know when all this went down you all kept my connected together and helped them. I know it was not easy but you all worked together and that means so much to me.
“You are one of my kids now too, Lix.” Chan said.
A knock on the door had all of them turning. The police came in to get a statement from Felix. It took several more hours to go through the details. They had training on the connection and their acceptance helped Felix’s parents to realize this was their new reality. It all settled in. Felix was exhausted by the time the interview was over. His head was throbbing from his injuries. He finally slept and the others made plans. Vanessa and Arny were going to head to Felix’s apartment in the morning to start packing things for him. His parents were going to talk to his job and make sure he was cleared to move and be off as he recovered. There were discussions over what and how and when to tell the company but they wanted Felix’s opinion first. Late in the afternoon Chan went to organize hotel rooms for the guys and everyone went to go rest. Changbin and Hyunjin refused to leave Felix.
Early Tuesday morning Chan was awoken by his phone ringing. He answered. “You should have told me about them.” He heard a familiar voice say.
“What?”
“Changbin and Hyunjin and the third. You should have told me as soon as you knew.”
“But how do you know?” Chan asked in confusion.
“It hit the press. We were blindsided by this Chan, we could have been ready.”
“Hit the press?”
“Look at the news, Chan.” The man said. “And get ready. The storm is about to hit. I will be there at some point today and I want to sit with you eight and we need to get on the same page for what's coming. Until I get there, do not talk to the press. Are the connected together?”
“Yes.” Chan answered, trying still to figure out what was happening.
“Good. Do not let them be on their own. Leave as much security with them as you can. I have ordered the security with you to prioritize the trio. What is this boy's name?”
“Felix sir.”
“And you have met him?”
“Yes sir, he came to visit Hyunnie and that's when he connected to Bin.”
“Ok.” The man said. “Stay with him, protect him.”
“Sir? I should tell you I threatened to end our contract to get us here.”
“I know, Chan.” The man replied gently. “I told them to let you all go and that I would handle it when you got back.” Chan could hear him take a deep breath. “I need to get on a plane. I will be there as soon as I can.”
“Thank you sir.” Chan said and the line went dead. He sat for a moment in shock that his boss had just called him about all this. Then reality set in and he started scrolling through the news.
Jacob had gone to the press for a quick payday as well as some revenge. He had told the world that a money hungry stalker fan had gotten lucky enough to connect with not one but two members of Stray Kids. He lied and made Felix sound as conniving as he could. That he intended to move to Korea and mooch off them. The response was as bad as it could be. The public and Stay were lambasting Felix. They were already begging Changbin and Hyunjin to leave him. He had even given the press pictures of Felix kissing Hyunjin and Changbin at different times and obviously (to Chan at least) taken with his hidden cameras. He had picked pictures that looked like Felix coming on to them and not that it was a consensual relationship. It was a thorough smear campaign. It was going to get ugly. No wonder Park Jin-Young was coming personally. They needed to get ready.
Chapter 25: Chapter 25
Summary:
Some confrontations occur, JYP arrives and drops some interesting information and plans begin to be made for the future.
Notes:
A/N Three updates in a week! Whew. My muse is rocking though this because of all the parts I'm super excited about are coming to pass! Also total credit to the Minho elevator scene goes to the fabulous author on here Makirasan who I am lucky enough to call my friend and in conversations completely gave me the idea. As always, this story is fiction. Any resemblance to reality is coincidental. I mean connections being real would be so freaking cool, right? Does anyone actually read authors notes? Maybe I should just ramble for awhile. So how about that sports team? Nah I'm just kidding. I do not know or own any of the guys in the group or any celebrity mentioned here. Or maybe I do...hahahaha kidding. I'm apparently in a weird mood so lets get on with it. If you like what I write please let me know. This is cross posted here and on Wattpad. Finally if you want to be alerted when I update any of my writings, or if you want to chat or toss ideas, feel free to follow me on twitter as _eyes_wideshut. Now enjoy.
Chapter Text
Chapter 25
Chan's mind was racing but so much needed to be done in a very short amount of time so he made a mental list and prioritized it. First was to wake the kids and call a meeting to alert them. Then he could tackle the next thing. He left his room and went across the hall. He knocked and a couple minutes later, a very sleepy Minho answered the door, hair sticking out everywhere. “Emergency meeting in my room. Five minutes.”
His tone must have told Minho this was serious so his expression closed and he nodded. “I will get Jisung up. You have the Ins?”
Chan's lips twitched at Minho's name for Minnie and Innie. It was too serious a time though so he just nodded. Turning he moved to the next room and knocked. Seungmin was already drinking a cup of coffee and Chan gave him the information. Their almost maknae nodded and Chan moved past him to wake Jeongin. The boy sleepily looked up at him but he woke quickly at the serious tone. Chan gave the message and went back to his room to call Binnie.
Chan placed the call and advised him and Hyunjin to sit tight and that their news had leaked and he would explain more when he arrived. He suggested they turn off Felix’s phone to keep anyone from calling him. Changbin agreed immediately saying Felix was still sleeping but Hyunjin was listening and agreed as well. Chan promised they would be there within the hour and he made them promise not to leave Felix's room. He reassured Changbin that security was just outside their door and would keep everyone out.
Chan pulled on sweats and a hoodie as the others filed in and took seats around the room. He took a seat on the end of the bed. He decided not to pull any punches. “Jacob released the information about Felix being connected to Changbin and Hyunjin to the press.” He paused to let the information land and the others had varying emotions cross their faces. He continued, “he included pictures of Felix kissing both Bin and Jin. He made it look as bad as possible. Boss is on his way and no one is to go anywhere without security and no one talks.” He gave them a very stern look. “Period.”
“Fuck.” Jisung said, taking the word everyone was thinking.
“Are our brothers ok?” Minho asked.
“Changbin and Hyunjin have been told not to leave Felix's room for any reason. Security is on high alert and Lix's room is being guarded. Lix is still asleep so he doesn’t know yet.”
“Lix is being protected too, right?” Jeongin asked softly.
“Yes.” Chan told him. “He is one of us and gets the same protection. Boss seemed to know something but he didn't tell me what. He did ask me to protect Felix so that tells me that at least for now, they are pulling him under our umbrella.” The others nodded. “Get dressed, shower, do whatever you need to and be ready to go in half an hour to head to the hospital. We need to stay together until JYP gets here and we figure out next steps.” His phone began ringing as he dismissed everyone. He heard the door shut behind them as he turned to answer the call.
On the other end of the phone was the police officer who had taken their statement. “Christopher Bang?”
“Speaking.” Chan's clipped tone let the officer know he had little time.
“Sorry for the early call but I wanted to let you know that we caught Mr. Lee's assailant. He told us you were to be our contact when we interviewed him yesterday. We are holding Jacob Weiss and he will not get out pending trial. We also found the records of Mr. Lee contacting us trying to seek protection against his attacker as well as statements by several witnesses. I just wanted to let you know. If he were to get out for any reason, Mr. Lee would be granted a protective order immediately.”
“You caught him? He has been arrested?” His mind reeling from all the sudden news in such a short period of time, Chan was struggling to keep up.
“Yes sir. He is in our holding cell awaiting transfer.”
“Thank God.” Chan breathed a sigh of relief. At least they wouldn't have to worry about him popping back in. Then he thought about how much Binnie would have loved to tear him apart. “Can I talk to him?” He asked suddenly.
“I can't let you in with him but yes you can come talk to him. He isn't saying much though.” The officer said.
“He doesn't need to say anything. I just want to tell him what he lost.”
The officer's voice turned sympathetic. “I completely understand. Get here before noon though. He will be transferred at some point after that so I can’t guarantee anything after then..”
“Done. I will come now.” Chan hung up and turned to grab his wallet and room keys only to realize Jisung was still in the room and was staring at him.
“They caught him?” Jisung asked. “Like caught caught? He is locked up caught?”
“Yes. He can’t hurt Lix anymore and I'm going to go tell him that Lix will never think of him again. Get everyone to the hospital and I will be there soon.”
Jisung's mouth dropped open. “You aren't going alone hyung.”
“Yes. I am.”
“You can’t!”
“Sungie, get to the hospital. I will be there soon.” He touched the younger man’s shoulder. “I need you to handle this. You and Minho just get everyone there.”
Jisung looked like he was going to argue as Chan pulled on his boots but then his face cleared. “Ok, hyung.” He agreed too easily but Chan didn't have time to question it. He headed out and grabbed one of the bodyguards to accompany him. Chan waited for the elevator, his toes tapping his impatience. Finally it arrived and he got in. The doors began closing and a hand slapped between them, forcing them to reopen. Chan looked up and saw Minho with his head cocked looking at him and Chan suddenly realized what Jisung’s agreement had meant. “No Min.” Chan said.
Minho cocked his head further and gave the death stare that made so many quake in their boots. “You can either go with me or not at all.” He said. “I’m going either way. He attacked one of us and you know better than to stop me from doing something about that.” He moved into the elevator not giving Chan a chance to refuse. Chan stared at him wanting to argue but knowing he wasn’t going to change their dance leader's mind. He caught the smile on the bodyguard’s face as well. They all knew Minho was not the man to cross. Chan might have a temper sometimes and can be protective but he is nothing next to a pissed off Minho. Cross one of his kids and Minho would rain the wrath of the Zeus down on you. Chan couldn’t deny he loved that about Min. Chan was never the one people had to worry about pissing off. Minho was. And it appeared his second in command had accepted Felix as one of the kids.
They got to the jail and spoke to the officer who had called him who led them back to their holding cells. Chan stood outside the bars just looking at the man who had done so much damage. He was mid all the way around. Not tall, not short; brown hair soft with a slight gut but not completely out of shape. He looked like any other bully who hated themselves. He looked like a typical American frat boy they saw in movies. Someone selfish and insecure who never got the girl in the end…or in this case, Felix. “Who the fuck are you?” The man growled. Minho just glared at him.
“We are friends of Felix and his connected.” Chan answered. He wasn’t impressed, he didn’t know what this guy had ever done to win Felix. He couldn’t touch the boy's heart. “I just wanted you to know that he is going to live a happy life away from you and will never be under your thumb again.”
Jacob scoffed. “Yeah, I’m terrified. Who's this? The pretty boy? Maybe I’ll do him next.”
Chan looked over at Minho who looked completely unimpressed, his lips twisted into that evil smirk he got sometimes. “Yeah….I wouldn’t try it. He’s the scary one.” He answered lightly. “I just wanted to tell you we are going to do everything in our power to make sure you never see the light of day again and even if you do, you will never come near Felix again. You released news to the press to hurt him but it will just make us stronger and ensure everyone knows he belongs with us.”
Jacob laughed. “Yeah I saw the news. Everyone hates him. He will come running back to me and this time I will make him pay for fucking those guys.”
“He will never come back to you. You don’t understand connections at all. They give him everything he could ever want and need. Why would he ever need or want you again?” Chan gave a mirthless laugh. “I don’t even know why we came here. I just wanted to see the man who tried so hard to take one of my kids away. You aren’t even worth the words.” He turned to Minho. “Come on. I just wanted to see who it was that tried to do all this.”
“You go ahead. I’ll be right behind you.” Minho said and gave Chan a look. Chan backed away from the bars but didn’t leave as Minho stepped up to them. “Hyung was trying to be nice.” Chan could tell Minho was using Jisung’s English to do this and it was incredible to watch. “I’m not so nice. He is our leader and has to stay above board but I don’t. Felix is one of us. He belongs with us and to us. He was our family from the moment he connected with Hyunjin. I could tell you all about how Felix connected because he was missing the actual love of a real man but what I really want to say is this. Felix is nice. Chan is nice. They are all nice. I am not. You come near Felix again. You even breathe in his direction again and I will make sure no one ever finds your body.” Minho promised and the absolute truth of his words hit home and they could both tell Jacob was scared.
“What’s to stop me from going to the press with your threat?” He bluffed.
Minho shrugged. “I don’t care if you do. Go for it. Doesn’t change anything. That would be a move towards Felix so I would act as promised. Lee Minho. Look me up anytime you want to test it. I will be happy to remove any threat from Felix’s life. ANY threat. It takes a weak man to beat up someone who has loved him and worked hard to make him happy. I will end any threat against him or any of us. It starts with him but it will end with me.” Minho promised. With what he wanted to say actually said, he turned and walked out. Chan followed.
After a brief conversation with the officer in charge of the case, they got back in the car and Chan looked over at Minho who looked totally calm. “They just got to the hospital.” Minho told him. “Jisung was telling the others what was happening. I just thought you should know.”
“Did you mean what you said to him?” Chan asked. Minho shot him a look.
“Yes.” Minho said. “Felix is one of us. I will protect him just like I would any of us. Besides, he is so gentle and kind. Lix is a baby to be protected.” Chan knew he didn’t mean it like Felix was a child but more that his heart was that level of gentleness. Chan smiled at Minho.
“I get it.” He squeezed Minho’s hand. “Thank you for being the heavy weight.”
They got to the hospital and headed up to Felix’s room. The Aussie’s parents were chatting and laughing with Changbin. It appeared they had accepted the truth. Apparently Vanessa and Mrs. Lee both individually had gone to Felix’s apartment the night before when they left the hospital intending to clean up the mess Jacob had caused with his attack and start packing things. They had talked as they worked and Vanessa had shared some of the things she had seen that really proved the connection as well as how loved Felix was by both his connected and by the group as well. It helped her come to peace with what had happened and even why it was kept from her. The Lee’s had been horrified by the news and the things that were being written about Felix. She appreciated that they were circling the wagons to protect him.
Chan and Minho relayed the news that Jacob had been caught and that the police were going to keep Chan in the loop. With the surveillance video from the cameras Jacob had placed it would be doubtful that Felix would even need to testify. Felix looked sad. “Do not even think about feeling sorry for him, Beautiful. He did this to himself.” Changbin said sternly, feeling Felix’s remorse. {H- You don’t own that, Angel. He made these choices. You take no blame. Don’t feel sorry for him.} Felix nodded.
“I just hate that anyone could feel that much anger.” He still didn’t understand what he had done to make Jacob hate him so much. {C- You didn’t do anything, baby. He was full of hate for everything before he even met you. You just became the target.} Felix took a breath and nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, Angel. Your heart is one of the things we love most about you. Just focus on sharing it with those who actually deserve it.” Hyunjin said and Felix smiled.
“So when is boss man getting here?” Seungmin asked.
“I don’t know yet. He was catching the first flight. I imagine it will be many hours yet. We need to start planning. Have the doctors said when Felix can be released?”
“They say perhaps tomorrow or the next day.” Mr. Lee said. “They want to be sure there is no further internal damage they aren’t seeing. His ribs will have to be babied for a while though. Will he have access to good doctors?”
“I will make sure of it.” Chan promised. “Felix is one of us. We can make more of a plan after JYP gets here but I promise you he will be protected to the best of our ability.”
The Lee’s both nodded. They didn’t let Felix focus on the negative comments. They kept him busy telling stories from his childhood and life and they told the Lee’s all about how they formed as a group. Chan called his parents and had them come too since they were nearby and let them meet the Lee’s. He figured knowing there were people nearby to connect them to their son might help. It seemed to be a good call and the two sets of parents hit it off swimmingly.
It was dinner time when the room was suddenly swarmed with security and then JYP swept in. He smiled and greeted the Bahng’s and the Lee’s. He shook Felix’s hand and asked how he was feeling. Finally with the niceties out of the way, he asked for the room with just the eight young men. Chan’s parents kissed and hugged each of the boys and left followed closely by Felix’s parents who waved bye to everyone. When the door closed behind them, Chan offered his boss the chair.
The man took a seat and looked at them with a serious expression. “You should have told me.” he told Chan and the leader bowed his head taking the blame rather than saying he had wanted to and Changbin had stopped him. “We could have prevented much of this. We could have protected Felix.” He took a deep breath. “The moment he connected to one of you he should have been brought to Seoul and had us work through this together.”
“We couldn’t take the chance you would try to separate them.” Changbin finally said. “At first they didn’t understand and once they did, we couldn’t say anything and run the risk.”
“I wouldn’t have separated them.” Park Jin-Young said gently. “I would never separate connected pairs. I know better.” Jisung scoffed softly but apparently his boss heard him and looked at him with a knowing smile. “I wouldn’t have.” He reiterated and then dropped the bomb. “Why do you think I brought Minho back even though I had said he wasn’t ready?” That bombshell left silence in its wake.
“You KNEW?” Minho asked, trying to figure out whether to be angry or not.
“Not until I cut you. Then when I saw how Jisung was taking the separation I went back and looked at the footage. It became obvious very quickly that they were connected. Jisung needed you and so I brought you back even though I wasn’t sure you were ready but I figured Jisung’s rapping skills would help you improve. And they did.” He looked approvingly at Minho. “You worked hard and more than proved yourself so it was a good choice but even if it hadn’t been, I wouldn’t be the reason you or he died.”
“How do you know so much about connections?” Seungmin asked.
JYP sat back in his seat and sighed in a way that made it clear he didn’t necessarily want to tell. “I don’t talk much about my first marriage and that's because it ended so badly. My ex wife was angry. She was angry because I had met someone I couldn’t be away from.”
“Holy shit!” Felix said. “You are connected!”
JYP smiled at the man and nodded. “My wife and I are connected. I know what it does to be apart from your connected. I would never do that to anyone. But now we have to make some decisions and figure out how to handle this. Felix will be moved into your dorm and I would like to begin looking for a new dorm for you all. I want the three of you,” he looked at Felix, Changbin and Hyunjin before turning to Minho and Jisung “and you two to have all the privacy you need. I was thinking about a bigger dorm or possibly two with individual rooms but at least one larger room for the connected groups. Is that acceptable that we start looking?” The guys looked between each other and nodded. They were all in shock. “Now Felix, I have done some research on you but I need to know about you and your profession and what you want to have happen.”
Felix hesitated but began talking. He told the story of connecting with Hyunjin and then Changbin. He told them about his life and hobbies and his job. “I would like to keep my job.” He said softly, worried that it wouldn’t be acceptable. The older man just nodded for him to continue. “I have talked to my bosses, they are fine with me living anywhere in the world. I just need internet and can do my job from anywhere.” He finished.
“So you would be able to travel and tour with them? I wouldn’t want you trying to stay home and being separated for too long.”
“Yes sir.”
“Good. And the assailant? I understand he has been captured?” His look at Chan said that he already knew about the visit to the jail.
“Yes. He was arrested when he went to collect the money from the reporters.” Chan said with a smug smile.
“Good. I have our attorneys speaking with the prosecutor here to make sure we charge him with everything we can.”
“Thank you.” Changbin said in surprise. “I…I think I misjudged you, Sir.”
JYP laughed. “I hide a lot and I hide it well.” The man said.
“We had no idea.” Jeongin said. “You have covered this very well.”
“That's been my goal so I’m glad to know I accomplished it. If you have any questions about connections you can call me. I could have helped you too,” he shot a wry look at Minho “but you refused to admit anything or show anything to me so I figured you didn’t want me to know.” The other couple nodded. They had definitely hidden what they were.
“They didn’t even know.” Jisung gestured to the others. “They didn’t find out until Changbin was added into the mix.”
“You hid it from them?” Their boss asked in surprise. “Why?”
Jisung shrugged. “It was something special just for us. We didn’t at the beginning because we didn’t understand. We didn’t later on because we didn’t want to be separated and we just didn’t think about it; it was our norm.”
Their boss nodded. “I understand. My wife and I have much the same bond.” He turned back to the trio. “We will need to get ahead of this. I want for your fans to be swayed in favor of Felix because I don’t want any harm to come to him. We can set up some interviews at home as much as you are willing.” Felix thought for a moment and then nodded.
“I knew I would end up in the spotlight when we connected, it was just a matter of time. I am ok with at least letting their fans get to know me a little. I’m a little scared, I won’t lie but I would never want to hurt the group because people think something false about me. If it helps them, I will do whatever kind of media or interviews they think are appropriate.” He finally answered.
JYP nodded. “I think that would be smart but I will allow the three of you to decide the parameters you want to set since Felix is not an idol. I ask that you include Chan in any decisions and that he in turn keep me in the loop.” All of them nodded. “We can set that up when you arrive and get settled in Seoul. For now though, I think there has to be a response now. Fast. So is there any reporter you trust?”
Felix thought about it but shook his head no. “What about the one you called for questions?” Hyunjin suggested. Felix thought about that.
“Thats a good idea hyung. The whole reason Felix talked to him through Vanessa was to avoid outting them but that has already been done now.” Jeongin added
“Well yeah. I guess I would be fine with him.” Felix said as he realized they were right.
“Good. Then if you are willing to set that up, it would be best if he came here. We will fly him out and make whatever arrangements need to be made. You just let me know what you need.” The group nodded.
“I will call Nate tonight.” Felix promised. “If I can find my phone.” Changbin’s eyes slid away and Chan blushed a bit.
“Last important bit for tonight. I need a list of the people who are to have unlimited access to you. That means friends, family, people you work with; whomever you choose. We need to get them on an approved list so they don’t get blocked from seeing you. To go with that, we need you to either get a new phone or change the number. I don’t want reporters or fans to get access to you. You didn’t ask for this life so I want you to have as much normalcy as I can give. My wife stays out of the public but because you were outed, it will be harder.”
“I confiscated his phone as soon as we got here.” Chan admitted.
“I was looking for that!” Felix cried out and the others laughed at Chan’s sheepish look.
“I didn’t want you to take calls from people out to hurt you. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust you.” He added the last in wanting to be sure Felix knew he wasn’t trying to control him.
“Channie hyung, I trust you. It’s ok.” Felix said gently. Chan let out a loud breath of relief.
Felix wrote down a list of people that he wanted to allow access to him and passed it to the older man. “I will add them to the approved list.” JYP told him. “I am going to stay in town through the interview before heading back. Also because you are moving at the same time and to make sure you have as much privacy and safety as possible, I have a plane chartered to take you to Seoul once I speak to the doctors and figure out when you can be released. Or your parents since the doctors may not speak to me.” He chuckled. “I want you all to stay as out of sight as you can until we leave here and honestly until we get some public sway in our favor. That part isn’t an order, more of a request. I don’t want any of you swarmed trying to get info on the trio. If I can be of any assistance on things just let me know.”
He lightly slapped his knees and stood up. “I am going to head to the hotel. Get some dinner and talk about anything that needs to be discussed. Let me know what the reporter says and I will arrange anything that needs arranging.” He held his hand out to Chan who shook it and then offered it to Felix. “You can call me anytime, young Felix. I look forward to getting to know you better and see who tamed our own Seo Changbin and Hwang Hyunjin.” He smiled at the boy who had been so hurt but would now be protected in any way he could do it.
Chapter 26
Summary:
The interview.
Notes:
A/N Helloooooo my lovelies! Merry Christmas! I apologize in advance for any typos contained here. I am away from home for the holidays and am having to type and edit on my phone and a tablet. Not so easy. As always, this is fiction and any resemblance to reality is coincidental. I cross post between Wattpad and AO3 but this is not posted anywhere else. Please alert me if you see it elsewhere. Kudos and comments are the fuel of my soul so if you like what I write, please let me know. If you want to be alerted when I update, follow me on twitter at _eyes_wideshut I hope you enjoy and I hope you have a safe and happy holiday no matter what you celebrate.
Chapter Text
“Are you comfortable Felix?” Nate the reporter asked as Hyunjin had finished fluffing the pillow behind his head and Changbin had offered him some water. Felix nodded at the man.
“Yes. I’m good. Thank you.” He said politely. “So how does this work?”
“I am going to ask you guys some questions but mostly I want you to tell your story about how you came to connect and how it has affected all of you. If there is something that is off the record just let me know and I won’t include those parts. Is there anything you want off the record now?”
“Um…” Felix bit his lip. “I would prefer not to talk about my family too much. They didn’t ask for this and they are normal people. We also won’t talk about other connections we may know of.”
“We mostly want to allow people to get to know Felix some and show our fans how important he is to all of us so they will stop the hate against him.” Hyunjin added. “He is getting so much hate because of what his ex did and he doesn’t deserve it at all.”
“Is the ex off the record?” Nate asked.
“No!” Changbin said immediately.
“Yes.” Felix said at the same time. They had a silent conversation. “Ok I will talk about him a bit but not everything and when I think it is the end of what I will say, I will let you know.”
“Then I think it is important to also take a few pictures so the public can also see the damage he caused physically. You can approve any pictures. Would that be acceptable?”
Felix looked around the hospital room and read the response in their eyes. “Yes that is ok.” Nate had them pose for a couple of pictures. One of just Felix; a few of the trio and a few of the whole group surrounding the trio.
Pictures over, they took seats. Felix sitting up in the bed with Changbin and Hyunjin taking his hands. The interview began. Nate started slowly and really let them set the pace. As they settled into the story, they relaxed and spoke more openly. When they got too close to a subject they didn’t want to discuss, Nate immediately backed off and dropped the subject.
The interview went on for several hours. By the time Nate closed his notebook, Felix was wiped out. He thanked them all for speaking with him. “I will finish the interview tonight and send it to you for approval. Once I get the ok, it will go live. I hope that it helps.” He hesitated for a moment. “I know that you were trying to find another trio connected. I have researched it since your friend first connected me but I haven’t found any. With your interview spreading though there is a chance any others will contact me and I will let you know if they do. If I can answer any questions for you, please don’t hesitate to reach out.” he added.
Everyone nodded and Changbin shook his hand as Hyunjin settled Felix back down to take a nap, wincing at the ribs protesting the movement. He drifted to sleep as the others discussed their plans. JYP asked Chan to make sure to have Felix get his medical records of the visit and have them sent or bring them to the doctors the company used so that Felix could be seen when he got to Seoul the next night.
They stayed with Felix but let him sleep the day away in between nurses and doctors coming to check on Felix. JYP had headed back to Korea. Vanessa and Mr. and Mrs. Lee had spent the day packing up Felix’s apartment and arranging to deliver what was going with Felix to the airport to go with Felix and brought him a suitcase of clothes and toiletries so he could be cleaned up and dressed when he was released. They hugged Felix and gave him kisses and let him say his goodbyes to them and his sisters. They promised to come visit him very soon. The doctors had promised he would be released early the next morning to allow him to hopefully slip out.
Vanessa and Arny came by as well. They both hugged him gently. Vanessa giggling happily that he was feeling a bit better and was finally able to be with his connected. “I added you both to my approved contact list. Please don’t lose touch.” He whispered.
“Lix. You are family to us now. We will have to come visit you sometime and maybe come to some Stray Kids shows to hang out with you.” Arny told him with a smile.
“Lixie! I don’t want to say goodbye!” Vanessa pouted. “Text me all the time ok?”
“I promise.” Felix told her with a smile. “You are my woman twin. We can’t lose touch.” She grinned and bounced happily. With a wink at Felix, Arny led her out.
Felix’s phone with the new number dinged as Nate sent the article for approval. They all huddled to look at the pictures he had chosen. The color photos accentuated the bruises and damage to Felix’s elfin face. He looked tiny and fragile in the hospital bed. It was a clear sympathy vote but an effective one. The one of the trio had Felix with his eyes closed with a look of happiness and peace on his face, both men holding his hands, Hyunjin kissing his head and Changin looking down at the two with a look of clear adoration. It showed a strong contrast between the security photos that made Felix look like he was pushing the relationship in relation to the truth of him being absolutely adored by these two men. The final had happy faces surrounding him as if he had always been there. They turned to the article.
~Today I had the opportunity to spend several hours with a great close knit group of guys who desperately want to set the record straight about some things. They consented to an interview with me because of my research on Stranger Connections. During this interview I hope to allow you a chance to get to know Felix the freckled elfin man with a surprisingly deep voice I have gotten to know and to learn the story about how he became involved with Stray Kids, an international K-Pop sensation whose fanbase is called STAY. We will discuss also how he came to be in the news regarding his connections and why they are wanting to set the record straight about who he is and what his relationship is with the talented group of guys. Allow me to take you on my journey getting to know them.
September the 15th of 2000 the Lee family welcomed their second of three children and only son; Felix. Though his family is Korean they have lived in Sydney all his life. He grew up in a very average Australian family who are very close and very proud of their children. Felix, whose Korean name given by his grandfather is Yongbok, is outgoing, happy and this journalist can attest to his immediate kindness and innate goodness. He studied tae kwon do as a kid and became a third degree black belt and has competed and won several awards, but don’t think he is a tough guy. It is readily apparent that Felix tends to wear his heart on his sleeve and loves to cuddle and be close to those he cares about.
Felix had gone to the mall to do some shopping, having no knowledge of a fan meet occurring at the same mall that day. As happens with connections, it hits on what seems like a random fashion to pairs who actually need each other in various ways. He and Hyunjin connected during that visit and spent a bit of time trying to figure out what was happening to them.
Hyunjin admits he was reticent to keep a connection to Felix and looked avidly for a way to sever the connection because of his fear due to his career being in jeopardy if word of the connection were released. However, because the two kept it a secret; Hyunjin out of fear of betraying his bandmates who he calls his brothers and Felix out of fear of damaging the relationship he was in; they had an opportunity to truly see the wonder of what they were experiencing. The two began to get to know each other in secret and learn about each of their worlds.
“It was hard. I was so afraid of this voice in my head. I have so much of my life in front of the public that having my most private thoughts and feelings even down to how my stage clothes felt on me was so uncomfortable to me at first.” Hyunjin told me. When I asked how he got past that feeling he explained how open and loving Felix is. “It's so hard to dislike someone who is so open and loving to everyone around him. Felix is the person who will welcome a stranger into his home and feed them and make them brownies and make them feel like the most important person in the world.” He told me while Felix blushed at the compliments.
“He refused to take advantage of our connection, even insisting on paying full price for merchandise.” Which led me to ask if Felix was a fan of Stray Kids.
“I am now.” Felix laughed at my question. “I had never really listened to K-Pop. I had heard of BTS but I had never listened to any group.” The other members laughed and good naturedly picked on his lack of knowledge of their group. Felix took their teasing with smiles before continuing. “I started watching some of their videos, interviews and listening to their music to get to know them better. I heard and saw all these people from Hyunjin and I knew and felt how much Jinnie loves them. It made me love them too but it was weird because I didn’t know them so watching and listening to them helped me learn who they were.” When I asked if he was a fan now, he didn’t hesitate to agree that he definitely is.
We talked about how it was for Felix to be in a relationship and be connected to another person. “I had seriously begun to question my relationship with my ex. I had thought that was how relationships just were and that my parents were just lucky but I have some friends that have happy relationships. The more I heard and saw healthy relationships and the more I heard how Jinnie reacted to what my ex would say to me and the mean names he called me made me realize I didn’t want to be with him anymore. I had realized I would rather be single than have someone be so mean. Then there was Jinnie…” Felix admitted he had begun to fall in love with Hyunjin. “His talent and passion for life was something I had never seen before. It was eye opening and made me realize how much more life had to offer.” Once he was single and he and Hyunjin discussed things; they decided to have an in person visit and see what happened. Hyunjin told his brothers he was visiting a friend but refused to give details. Chan laughed about the texts Felix would send him daily so that he knew Hyunjin was ok and yet refused to tell him who he was. Apparently this was a joke perpetrated by Hyunjin with member Lee Know giving him a high five at the telling of it.
They had already fallen in love but decided during that visit to give their relationship a real try. By the time Hyunjin went home to his group, he and Felix had found common ground together, though their connection still caused some noticeable changes that had the group scared of what was happening. Eventually the group confronted Hyunjin about how distant he got at times.
“We didn’t know he was talking to Felix in his head at those times.” Jeongin, the groups youngest member told me. I asked how that conversation went and there were many looks exchanged before Jisung laughed and teased Chan, the groups dynamic leader, about wanting to have Hyunjin committed before Felix video called and together they confirmed everything. The group who is more like a family insisted on meeting Felix as soon as possible.
“He had to come.” Seungmin the second youngest songbird added. “We had to meet the man that had connected to Hyunjin even if we didn’t know much about connections.” Though Lee Know is quick to tell me that Seungmin had started research mode as soon as he found out.
“That meeting was intense.” Chan said with a pensive look on his face. They began to tell me about the group meeting Felix for the first time. Always a playful group, they had intentionally kept Hyunjin at JYP Entertainment, which they refer to as The Company, so they could meet Felix without him present. That meeting went fine until it was Changbin’s turn. Changbin and Felix connected.
The grimaces around the room let me know how explosive that connection was. Hyunjin admits he was frantic to get to Felix and Felix admits he wanted to leave. Luckily he got there and they got everything calmed down and the three talked during which point Changbin and Hyunjin connected as well. Both were shocked and later recollections of that time have all admitted that they each needed the connection.
They began to work together to figure out what their needs were and how permanent this connection was.
When I asked point blank if this was a poly relationship, Felix blushed, Hyunjin nodded and Changbin gave a firm yes. “We know that we are supposed to appear single to our fans and we know that this connection will cause some problems with some of our fans. But we really want them to know that we needed him. We needed someone so loving and caring who loves even the parts of us we hide. He needed to understand how loving relationships can be and be protected and cared for."
They settled into their new relationship. I was curious about their connection from such a long distance which based on my research with other connections causes debilitating pain even in extreme cases leading to death at separations. They were quick to say that it wasn’t bad at first just some minor headaches.
However that changed when Changbin was added into the mix. It seems their connection actually settled into place at that time. The separation began to take a toll which Felix pulled onto himself rather than let the others suffer the effects. When it became urgent and Felix could no longer hide the amount of pain he was in, Changbin made plans to visit him which put in motion the current problems.
We changed gears a bit and talked about his career and relationship and friends. Felix was understandably reluctant to discuss his former relationship too much. He wanted to defend his ex but the others were quick to alert me to his abusive ex partner who was the one who leaked the hidden camera footage and article outing Felix.
His jealousy over Felix started long before Hyunjin even entered the picture. While Felix was reluctant to go into details about the abuse he suffered, Felix is currently in the hospital recovering from multiple injuries from a vicious attack by the man who had been jealous of Changbin’s visit. Both Hyunjin and Changbin had plenty to say about the man who attacked their connected, none of it redeeming. The pictures released to the press of Felix with his two connected were taken from a camera the man had hidden in Felix’s apartment. The gentle freckled Aussie was understandably horrified by the revelation that his every move had been watched by his obsessive stalker ex even so long after their breakup.
Felix had ended their relationship months prior and before he ever started a relationship with either Stray Kid. His assailant did not like Hyunjin visiting and liked Changbin’s visit even less. The dark rapper had just taken off for home when the man broke into Felix’s apartment and brutally attacked him.
For the group it was a horrifying moment. Hyunjin was with them and relaying the attack as it happened to the others while Chan was on the phone getting the police there. For Changbin it was worse. He was on a plane by himself, struggling to keep himself calm as he felt every second of the attack.
The horror of that moment lingers in his eyes as we talk. Felix was knocked unconscious during the fight for his life, a moment that Hyunjin says was the most scary moment of his life. “There is this constant hum in our bodies from each other. It's this ever present feeling of connection. But when Felix was knocked out, that connection was severed. There was just silence. It was terrifying. I thought he was dead.” Hyunjin admitted to me.
The group immediately jumped into action and got a turn around flight for Changbin and direct flights for the others to all race to Felix’s side. The group all immediately looked at Seungmin when I asked how difficult this was to arrange. When I asked why all of them needed to come there were a lot of blank looks and shrugs. Lee Know, the group's enigmatic dance leader spoke up to simply say, “He is one of us now. Felix is the same as any of our brothers. We treat him the same. We love him the same.” The others immediately agreed.
The group calls Jisung and Felix the sunshine twins for their fun and loving personalities together and the whole group has an obviously special relationship with Felix. It is very clear that they adore him and nothing would have stopped them from getting to his side.
Felix is currently recovering from his attack. He has a bad concussion that left him unconscious for almost a day as well as many bruises and some broken ribs that will take time to heal but even now he is looking to the future and making plans to move to be closer to his connected. He is looking forward to getting to know the families of his group.
Changbin excitedly has let me hear a snippet of Felix singing a few lines for a new song that this reporter can promise you will blow your socks off. Felix does not allow conversation to focus on his attacker beyond saying the man is now in jail and he plans to press any charges he can to ensure the man is never able to do this to anyone else. His devotion to the K-pop group and his determination to look positively to the future even while wincing in pain from his attack immediately inspires feelings of compassionate hope for his future.
While the trio of connected are afraid because they know of no other trio they are hopeful that they will have a happy ending. When I asked why this interview was so important to them Chan immediately spoke up. “Felix has been painted as this destructive and deceitful person but that is not the man that we know and adore.” He told me, his tone conveying his seriousness. “Felix is literally a ray of sunshine. He is outgoing, loving, kind and doesn’t know his own worth.”
Jisung, one of the main producers of the group added. “He is so not what that jerk said. We want everyone and especially STAY to know and adore Felix the way that we do.” Seungmin summed it up when he closed our interview with “If STAY can just see him, they will love him too.” The group treats Felix with a special gentleness that once you meet Felix, makes complete sense. They are moving Felix to Seoul with them and plan to have him on camera with them so the fans can get to know him but that will come as Felix heals from his injuries.
This reporter has never met a more fun group of guys who can make even a hospital room feel like the most welcoming place to be. Just meeting the guys and seeing the love they have for what they do, each other, their fans and Felix makes me want to dive deep into their music. A baby STAY is the name for what I now am. I am happy to have been able to share this time with them. I wish Felix and all of Stray Kids a speedy recovery and best wishes for the future.~
The group sat around. They couldn’t have asked for a better article to be written about them or the situation. “Do you think it will help?” Felix asked finally. Changbin kissed his forehead.
“Baby, absolutely.” The man answered him. “He did it perfectly. Between this and the interviews we will do after you heal; it will do so much to swing the fans your way.”
The group headed back to the hotel to allow Felix, his connected and his parents a chance to spend some time alone before he was released and immediately left for Korea. Felix could tell his parents were trying hard to accept his situation even though he knew they didn’t really understand it. He knew the more they saw the silent conversations, the more they knew and understood. From Hyunjin fluffing his pillow just right and his immediate sigh of relief to the moment he winced and Changbin was out the door asking the nurse for his next dose of pain medicine before his parents could even ask what was wrong.
All of that truly helped them to understand a little bit more each time they saw it what was happening and how this connection could truly make sure their son was not only loved and cared for but his every desire or need was seen to without him even having to ask. They had already adored Hyunjin and now with Changbin, they could see how fiercely protective he was of Felix. They could see how he adored making Felix laugh although they imagined it was probably much more often when it wasn’t actually hurting Felix to laugh.
They fussed over Felix, angry at themselves for not noticing how bad things had gotten with Jacob. When they made another comment about their regret on that Changbin immediately stopped them. “Felix wouldn’t have told you no matter how bad it got. He wouldn’t have told anyone and didn’t until Hyunjin kept thinking about how bad it was. Jacob had convinced Felix this was not only normal but that he deserved it. Because of that, Felix would never complain, why would he if it was his fault. That would just make you all mad at him too for his failure.”
The Lee’s immediately went to disagree but Hyunjin held up his hand. “We KNOW that you wouldn’t have reacted like that. You KNOW you wouldn’t have reacted like that. Felix was so deep, he DIDN’T know. He does now. That’s what helped him to break free of Jacob. Hearing the condemnations I had toward Jacob. Seeing the loving and supportive relationships of Arny and Vanessa and me with my brothers and the two of you. Seeing that relationships in public and my thoughts about the in private part enabled him to know that his relationship wasn’t the norm and he deserved better. Once he realized that, Jacob was out of the picture. He couldn’t have told you back then, and it utterly destroys him to think he is hurting you now by having kept that from you then.” Hyunjin finally said.
Their eyes flew to Felix who nodded his agreement and his parents immediately peppered him with kisses and gentle pats. “We can come visit, can’t we?” Mrs. Lee asked.
“As often as you want.” Changbin said with a smile. Mine and Hyunjin’s parents need to meet Felix but after that, we would love to get all three sets together since the three of us are a couple to have our families together. But you are welcome to visit any time you want. We know this is difficult with the way this is happening and you having to learn all this and have your son move so far away all at the same time. We would never keep you away from Felix. We wanted to do this much slower but the last month or so have taught us we can’t wait.” Felix’s parent’s nodded.
They planned sending Felix’s belongings and had brought several must have items and clothes for Felix to take with him. They commented teasingly that maybe he didn’t need his pillow with Changbin’s face on it since he would have the real thing. Felix blushed and his connected laughed at the memory of Changbin getting that for him.
By the time Felix boarded the plane with his connected and his extended family he knew he was making the right decision. He had been released early to beat as much of the reporter crowds as he could. Minho filmed one of his lives of them getting on the plane. He focused a lot on Felix being wheeled to the plane in his wheelchair and being carried inside by Changbin who was being oh so careful of his injuries. Felix didn’t really understand why Minho kept talking about him and focusing the camera on him. {H- He is making sure to show that you are fully accepted as one of us. He knows people will be looking for any mention of you and by keeping you in the frame and showing not only us taking care of you but also the way the others are even babying you just shows without saying anything that you are one of us.} Felix thought that made a lot of sense and smiled at the other man in gratitude. The next phase of his life was about to begin, but for the first time, Felix was truly excited for what was to come.
Chapter 27: Chapter 27
Summary:
Felix begins arrives in Korea and begins to settle in to his new life. He finds new comfort and new friends along the way.
Notes:
A/N Helllllloooo my lovelies! Did we all enjoy the Minsung 2 kids room? I squealed more than once. Ok so for this chapter, I know the award show doesn't quite fit a specific one, I kind of combined outfits and things that happened from various award shows. Please remember this is an AU story so don't come for me because I didn't get xyz detail perfect. AU means alternate universe. It's all made up I just like to take bits and pieces of reality and weave them in to make STAY happy. As always this is fiction and any resemblance to reality is coincidental. I do not know or own the people written about here. Feedback is the breath of life for me so if you like what I write please let me know. I cross post between Wattpad and AO3 so if you see my writing anywhere else please let me know. Feel free to follow me on twitter at _eyes_wideshut and feel free to chat with me. I love tossing ideas around. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
Actually arriving with Stray Kids this time was fascinating. Felix would catch flickers of thoughts and memories of the places they passed. {F- So you guys used to eat here as trainees? } {H- This is where our tradition for Innie eating first happened. } {F- This is so awesome!} {C- I can’t wait to make new memories with you as part of us.} Changbin looked so tenderly at Felix it almost took the younger man’s breath away. “I love you.” Felix told him softly.
“I love you too.” Changbin replied as if he always said it but hearing those words for the first time from Changbin even though Felix had felt it from him made his eyes fill. “Don’t cry Lix, that should be a happy thing.”
“They are!” Felix laughed. “I’m just happy and excited.” His connected could feel how much excitement he carried that was almost bubbling out.
They arrived at the dorm and helped carry Felix’s items in though he flat refused to allow them to carry him. He dropped his stuff in Hyunjin’s room. Jeongin came into the doorway with a smile. “We made you a desk area a week or so ago so that you will be able to work. I know you are on leave right now but I thought you might want to see it.” Felix smiled at the group maknae.
“That's amazing! Yes, show me.”
Jeongin led Felix to Changbin’s room where they had set up a divider and put up a whole office space for Felix. “Minnie made sure we brought your computers so we can set them up in here. Changbin wanted to share some of his room with you and we figured this might be a good way. Plus it allows for his room to be a solitary one for anyone of you three who need some time alone…well as much as you can be alone I guess.” He laughed. Felix laughed too and then winced at the protest from his ribs. Within a minute, Changbin and Hyunjin both flew in the doorway.
“Angel, are you ok?” Hyunjin asked.
Felix grinned. “Yeah, my ribs just argued for a moment.”
“Are you sore, beautiful?”
“Yeah.” Felix admitted.
Felix spent the next few days getting acclimated to living with these amazing men. It seemed they didn’t want to leave him alone so even though they were busy preparing for an award show performance the next weekend, they individually found time to spend with Felix. Jeongin helped him get his home office set up just the way he liked, even taking him down to the nearest store to stock up on pens and notebooks and anything else he wanted for it. His easy smile and warm personality made Felix want to be around him. Though the youngest, Felix was amazed by how often Jeongin actually acted like the eldest in the group.
Seungmin spent quiet time with Felix when he wanted to rest up.The younger man made him relax just with his presence but he talked with Felix whenever he wanted to chat. He told Felix all about how they had been put together. He told stories of what the various members were like in the early days. Considering how loving Chan was, Felix was surprised to hear what a task master he had been in the early days. It seemed once they debuted he finally relaxed and let them see who he really was. Seungmin adored his eldest brother but he delighted in being a little gremlin that picked on Chan every chance he got. Seungmin could be vicious when he wanted to be but he never seemed to direct that toward Felix.
Chan was the big brother Felix had never had and a little taste of home. When they spent time alone, he often cuddled with Felix and his hugs were such warm safe places for Felix. They talked about home and gave memories and chatted. Felix could tell how happy Chan was to be able to speak freely in English and not have to worry about translating everything. It made the older man feel comfortable and happy and that came across for both of them. Felix adored Chris. Honestly the connection to home made him feel instantly more comfortable here. He knew without his hyung he would be so much more homesick.
Jisung shared fun time with Felix. He shared his love of gaming and they would frequently be found in their rare free time cuddled on the couch battling it out on whatever game they were playing at that moment or watching some anime. Out of all of them, Felix loved cuddling with Jisung the most. Well aside from his connected of course. He just felt bonded with Jisung and the other man felt the same way. They rarely talked about anything serious. He was just a fun person for Felix to be with. He was also endlessly fascinated by watching Minho and Jisung’s relationship. He didn’t know how Hyunjin or Changbin hadn’t realized they were connected. It was so obvious. Jisung would look at Felix and ask if he was getting thirsty and Minho would appear with drinks for both of them. Minho had to get slightly pensive or down for only a second before Jisung was doing something to make him laugh. They spent time quietly together or going in depth in random discussions of whatever documentary they had just watched.
Minho was an enigma to Felix. He felt so safe around his elder even watching how savage he could be with the others but he never seemed to do it to Felix. He was always watching and quick to provide anything Felix could need or want. About a week in, Felix was feeling really homesick and was a bit down and nervous over that night’s award ceremony. He looked up and realized there was a plate of bread with butter and sprinkles in front of him. He looked in surprise at Jisung who looked confused and looked over at Minho and they had a silent conversation. “Oh. Fairy bread?” Jisung giggled. “He thought it would comfort you.” Felix’s eyes shot over to Minho who gave him a small smile.
“You made me fairy bread?” Felix asked in surprise.
“I looked at Australian food so I could make some of your favorites.” Minho answered with a shrug before turning back to the dishes he was washing. Felix got up and went over to him, hugging him gently from behind. Minho froze for a moment but patted Felix’s hands around his belly. “Yongbokkie, if there is any food you ever want just let me know.” He said quietly. Felix grinned at him.
Changbin and Hyunjin were extremely busy after their absence but they made time to be with Felix every night and make sure he knew he was a priority to them. Changbin had taken him into the company and introduced him to a few of the various staff members and security they were around the most often. He even showed Felix their actual recording studio and convinced Felix to record his lines again with real equipment much better than his phone. He was so supportive and excited that it made Felix relax and give it his all. Changbin pushed him hard to give his best but he always did so in the most supportive way. It made Felix feel like he was not just wanted but valued as well. Felix looked for ways to repay him but feeling the older man’s feelings let him know that what made him happy was seeing Felix blossom from his love and care.
Hyunjin took Felix into the dance practice room with Minho and showed him choreography and danced. Felix was breathless at their sheer talent. He sat quietly on the couch watching as the two helped the others prepare for their performance. They patiently worked through the dances with the members and the dancers who were to be their backup. Felix worked out Hyunjin’s tired muscles with massages when he came home each night. The three spent every night wrapped in each other's arms and though Felix wanted to have sex with them, both men were hesitant; wanting Felix to fully heal first. He understood and didn’t push it but all three had fantasies and random thoughts that left them all feeling the heat and longing but they all pushed the thoughts away. It wasn’t needed though, just being able to be held by them made the pain he had dealt with throughout their separation a distant memory.
The night of the award show arrived and they dressed Felix in a suit. His connected’s eyes widened at his appearance and he heard a distinct “DAMN!” from Binnie’s mind. He grinned. This was going to be his first outing with the guys. JYP had even arranged for him to sit at their table with them. It was exciting and daunting all at the same time. They arrived and were ushered to the makeup area. Felix looked in the mirror at his fading bruises. He wished they weren’t so prevalent. It was embarrassing. He was supposed to meet the guys from Ateez in person and he really didn’t want to do it with his injuries still showing on his face.
As the others finished they were being taken back for a quick check of where they were going to be performing before taking some pictures with the press. Binnie stopped by one of their newer managers and asked if they could cover Felix’s bruises that he was feeling self conscious. The man nodded and said he would take care of it while the guys did their press line. Felix was led to one of the chairs and one of the women began covering his bruises, working gently on him. Felix smiled at her gratefully.
The manager looked up from his phone and frowned. “Cover those horrible freckles too.” he said in a hateful tone very different from how he had spoken to Bin just minutes before. “How this little slut ever worked his way in with this group is beyond me.” He muttered but Felix heard him.
“What?” He asked quietly, folding in on himself slightly having not heard a single person with the company be anything but polite and friendly to him. Had everyone been hiding it from his connected? He felt Hyunjin and Changbin’s immediate attention. They were posing for photos and couldn’t come to him but they were both absolutely livid that one of their managers was doing this while they were unable to respond. “I’m connected to them. We didn’t choose this.” He answered softly. The man made a sound of disbelief.
“Cover his complexion some too. He isn’t light enough, he has too much of a tan.” he turned to Felix and leaned over him threateningly, saying the next words softly. “I don’t believe in connections for a moment. You are a stupid little gold digging slut that convinced the hottest ticket in Korea to take you in. You don’t fool me at all. You don’t belong here. From those ugly freckles to the too-tanned face and stupid deep voice; you are just ridiculous and the sooner you realize that and what a detriment you are to them; the better. Go home little boy.” He stood back upright and brushed off his jacket as if Felix had contaminated him somehow. The Aussie felt tears building in his eyes at the words. “Oh great now he’s going to fucking cry.” The man rolled his eyes.
{C- Not one single word of that was true, beautiful.} {H- Don’t focus on what he says, focus on how we feel. You know what you mean to us.} {F- Why is he saying these things? Are my freckles ugly? Am I hurting you two? I shouldn’t be here. You should have connected to someone better or just each other.} {C- no babyboy. Your freckles are adorable and we couldn’t be without you. We are a team; all three of us. We couldn’t connect until you..} Felix felt his resolve. {C- And I will be dealing with him shortly.} Felix worked to settle his emotions, noticing the looks the makeup artist was giving the manager. She didn’t approve of what had just happened but the man was one of their bosses so she couldn’t really say anything. The man finally nodded his approval and left and both Felix and the woman doing his makeup breathed a bit easier. “I’m sorry about that. I like the freckles.” She whispered. “And Changbin and Hyunjin talk so highly of you.” Felix’s wobbly smile grew more stable at that. “I can remove it if you want…” She hesitated. “He won’t see it until it's too late.”
“No.” Felix said softly. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.” Felix watched Hyunjin see the members of Ateez and head toward them, passing the manager and hissing. “This isn’t over!” to the man. Felix smiled. “Besides, Bin and Jin are dealing with it right now. But all the same, I will go along with it for tonight.” He smiled at her. “Thank you. And they say thank you too for calming me.” Felix told her, relaying his connected’s gratitude.
Felix watched as Hyunjin caught a member of the other group and spoke to him softly. The other man’s smiled faded and he nodded with the professional smile face they all put on when they were hiding their true emotions. He was giving a very quick explanation of what happened and asking if the man would come get Felix and lead him to their table since they couldn’t go back right then with more press lines. The other man immediately agreed and headed away and Hyunjin smiled and waved at the cameras before looking at the manager and smirking as Changbin caught up with him and gripped his arm tightly as he whispered to the man. It looked like nothing but an idol talking to a manager but they couldn’t hear the rage in Changbin’s voice, the manager could.
“You are never allowed around Felix again. EVER. In fact I don’t want you anywhere near any of us but especially not our beautiful angel. How dare you insult those beautiful freckles! How dare you show your racism by insisting he be more white skinned. You disgust me. I can’t do anything right this minute but you can be sure I will be scheduling a meeting about this. He is not a slut and he does belong here but it's clear that you don’t. I may not have any control over your job so I can’t fire you but I can make damn sure your bosses know you are not welcome on our team. Ever. Be glad this happened here because I really want to show you how angry I am that you dared speak to our connected like that, and you what…thought we wouldn’t know? We hear everything he does, asshole. We feel everything he does. Now get out of my sight.”
As Changbin spoke, his eyes flashing with anger, the manager grew more and more pale. It was obvious as the realization set in that it wasn’t possible for Changbin to have known so much of the conversation unless they truly were connected. There had been no time for Felix to have told him. The rapper's eyes were full of a promise of violence and so he wrenched himself away and bowed to Changbin and made a hasty exit. Changbin shrugged his shoulders to release the tension and turned and waved at a group of fans before rejoining the others for more photos. {F- Um…Bin, that was kinda hot.} {H- Fuck yes it was!} Changbin just grinned.
Felix saw the young man with black hair and incredibly high cheek bones Hyunjin had spoken to step in the doorway and look around before finding Felix. He smiled and Felix recognized him as one of the men that Chan, Hyunjin and Changbin had talked to about connections. He was one of the Ateez connected. The man immediately approached him and Felix stood and smiled at him, it was hard not too when the man smiled so sweetly at him. “You have GOT to be Felix.” The man said. “Hyunjinnie and Binnie have not exaggerated how utterly adorable you are! Look at you, cutie!” The man flirted shamelessly and Felix couldn’t help but start laughing. “I’m Wooyoung.” The man grinned at him. “We’ve ‘met’ but it's nice to meet you in person and actually put a face to it.”
“Jinnie sent you to get me?” Felix asked him.
“Yeah, he doesn’t want you left alone, I’ll take you out to our table and you can sit with us until the guys show up. Sound good?”
“Sure!” Felix grinned. Wooyoung took his hand and practically danced out of the room, dragging Felix with him and leaving the smaller man giggling helplessly.
“I found a stray!” Wooyoung announced to his group. “Can I keep him?” Felix laughed and looked around at the other men at the table. They were all handsome. He recognized San and Hongjoong from their meeting. He didn’t know the others though.
“Babe, you are out there collecting strays again? I don’t think Hyunjin and Changbin will be okay with you taking their connected away.” San said teasingly. “Nice to meet you Felix.” He smiled at the smaller man.
Wooyoung cuddled up to Felix. “But he’s so cute!” He said, whiningly pouting.
“Are you trying to get me in trouble already?” Felix teased back and poked his cheek. Wooyoung immediately started laughing.
“Well you are going to fit in just fine around here.” Hongjoong said and smiled. “Nice to finally meet you Felix. I’m Hongjoong.”
“That mountain over there is my connected Sannie.” Wooyoung said softly and gestured toward the man.
“Hi!” Felix grinned at the man.
“I’m Yunho.” Said a man with a very easy and likeable aura. Next to him sat a man that was deceptively large but his smile was almost childlike. “This is Mingi.” The large man waved.
“Yeosang.” Said a man with a slight bow. He was beautiful.
“Jongho. Nice to meet you.” This man had intense eyes and Felix just knew he would be fierce onstage.
“And I’m Seongwha.” The last man said, giving him a welcoming smile. “Wooyo, grab him a chair.” He chided the younger member softly.
“Oh no! You don’t have to….” But Wooyoung had already moved away and grabbed Felix a chair. He brought it back and Felix took a seat at their table, listening to them chattering away.
Hongjoong leaned close, “It's a lot to take in for the first time.” Felix looked at him in surprise and nodded. “You are handling it really well. I know your connected love having you here with them.” He smiled and patted Felix’s hand. It was funny that someone so tiny gave such a fatherly energy. He liked all of them immensely.
He saw Changbin and Hyunjin catching sight of him as they were led to their table and he watched with a grin as Changbin diverted and came to him. “Hey beautiful.” The large rapper said gently. His eyes full of love. “He will never come near you again. I’m so sorry baby.” Felix smiled up at him and stood.
“I know, Binnie, it's ok. It wasn’t your fault. Thanks for dealing with him.” Felix said softly. Changbin took his hand and without care for the watching eyes and camera, kissed it softly.
“Let's get you to your seat baby.” He told Felix before looking at the others. “Thanks Wooyo. We appreciate you getting our Lixie.”
“My pleasure!” Wooyoung said with a grin. “He’s a cutie, I’m trying to keep him.”
“Eh!” San let out a sound and grabbed Wooyoung’s face and it would have looked horribly aggressive if it were not for the younger man’s giggle and San’s smile.
“He’s a troublemaker isn’t he?” Felix asked Hongjoong who rolled his eyes.
“Always. One of my many.” He laughed. Felix grinned back and waved at them as Changbin led him back to their table. Hyunjin pulled out the chair next to him and hugged Felix as he took the seat with Changbin sitting on the other side. Hyunjin had quietly filled in the others as they sat at their table. Chan shot Felix a look of concern.
“You ok, Lix?” The leader asked.
Felix smiled at him. “I’m ok. I can handle it. We all knew there would be backlash.”
“Maybe so but it shouldn’t have come from that direction.” Chan responded. “We apologize.”
Felix gave him a sweetly fond smile. “You all have nothing to apologize for Channie hyung.” He looked around the table reassuring everyone. “I’m just excited to see you perform!”
The award show began and Felix was wide eyed watching the various performances and watching different groups get recognized. He leapt to his feet clapping hard with the others when 3racha was announced as the winner of the Best Creator of 2023 and laughed with the others watching Jisung who had gone to the bathroom running back. He teasingly gave a thumbs down with the others as the guys gave their acceptance speech. Chan and Jisung cracked up seeing them. Felix was fighting hard not to bounce and wiggle happily in his seat but he knew it would only hurt his ribs. They were healing and he didn’t feel much pain unless he made abrupt movements.
Felix watched Ateez perform a song called Bouncy which was very catchy and caught Wooyoung throwing him a finger heart and he laughed. When Stray Kids got their cue they got up and headed backstage to get ready. Felix felt like a spotlight was on him as people around him eyed him. Just as he started to get uncomfortable the chair next to him was taken and he looked over to see Hongjoong and Seonghwa sitting on either side of him, showing their silent support of him. The others in Ateez came over quickly as well and together they danced and enjoyed the performance Stray Kids put on. Felix couldn’t decide who was sexier. Changbin showing those amazing muscles with the tight short sleeve white shirt and then with his thighs encased in tight pants or Hyunjin who was lithe, tall and incredibly sexy especially while dancing. The man owned the stage while he was on it. Suddenly Felix started and winced when his ribs protested.
“Who was that?” Seonghwa asked, noticing the distinctive bass voice in the song they didn’t recognize.
“That was me.” Felix answered softly. “They actually put me in the song?” He was blown away. When he heard it again he looked up at the stage and saw all the members pointing at him to show it was his voice. The cheers were deafening.
The rest of the show went by in a blur. Felix was blown away by the glitz and glamor around him but he began to grow sore and tired towards the end. {C- Just a little longer, beautiful. Can you hang in there?} {F- I’m ok.} Felix lied. Hyunjin looked at him with concern. Thankfully two more awards and the show was officially over. Hyunjin jumped up and helped Felix to stand. Changbin gently wrapped his arm around Felix’s waist. {C- Lean on me as much as you need to.} They walked as a group past the throng of press. The guys all waved and Felix smiled through his pain and exhaustion and gave a little wave too, bowing as much as he could as he walked past them.
They finally arrived at the vehicles and Hyunjin helped him in. He sat on the seat sighing with relief as the doors of the vehicle closed and they were surrounded by silence. Chan handed over his pain medicine and a bottle of water. “I thought you might need these.” He said. Changbin shot him an angry look. “I assumed he didn’t want to take them there since they knock him out.” Changbin went to argue but Felix touched his leg gently.
“He’s right Binnie, I would have been too humiliated to take them and either fall asleep or act weird because I was drugged up.” Felix said gently and took the water bottle Hyunjin had opened for him and took his medicine. He struggled to get comfortable on the drive but by the time they arrived back at the dorm, Felix was asleep in Changbin’s arms. He picked Felix up as gently as he could and carried him in the house.
Changbin and Hyunjin took care of Felix, gently changing him into a t-shirt and sweatpants and washing his face before changing themselves. They quietly left him sleeping and went out to join the others. Though they had been briefly filled in on what had happened with the manager, they went into more detail. Chan was absolutely livid. “He will never work with us again.” Changbin insisted, then looked at Chan worriedly. “Can we demand that?”
“We will.” Chan agreed. “It may not be proper of us to demand a certain manager over us be removed but our comfort has always been important and all of us are uncomfortable with Felix having been treated that way by someone who is supposed to care for us, right?” He looked around and got agreement from everyone.
“I’ll be happy to talk to him.” Minho said with a straight face but an evil twist to his lips that let the others know their second oldest member had definitely taken Felix under his wing.
“I already did.” Changbin said curtly. “And it's probably a good thing it happened there so I couldn’t react the way I wanted to.”
“We will handle it tomorrow, first thing.” Chan said. “I promise.” He smiled. “Joong says Felix made a big impression on his group. Wooyoung is trying to adopt him away.” He grinned and there were spatterings of laughter around. “Get to bed everyone.” Chan dismissed their impromptu meeting and the others made their way to their respective rooms.
Changbin and Hyunjin curled up on either side of Felix, protecting him in his sleep. {H- That man will NEVER come near our beautiful angel again.} {C- absolutely agreed.} They both settled down and smiled at the flickering of dreams floating through Felix’s head of the excitement of the night. No one saw Felix’s phone light up with a message from Nate about the existence of a four person connection.
Chapter 28: Chapter 28
Summary:
A conversation with management, and some revelations happen.
Notes:
A/N Hello my lovelies! I'm so sorry for the delay, work has been crazy lately and I have had very little time to write. Either way, I promise I won't just quite writing and I have also been looking to finally update my other two ongoing stories. This story is fiction and is not in any way true, it is my own love of the members of Stray Kids that has me writing fiction about them. This story is very loosely based on my favorite show Sense8. Feedback fuels my writing so please let me know if you like what I write. If you want to be alerted when I update, you can follow me on twitter/ X at _eyes_wideshut. This is cross posted on Wattpad and AO3. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Text
Felix woke up to Changbin dressing and he caught the thoughts. “You are going to the Company to talk to the bosses about Park GinGu?”
Changbin turned and his eyes roved over his lovers. Felix caught the appreciation of the view. Hyunjin still asleep, facing away and the sheet wrapped around his waist and Felix up on his elbow, sheet down low on his waist. {C- Can’t wait till you are all healed.} {F- I'm feeling better than I should… }
Changbin came over with a smile and sat on the edge of the bed and kissed Felix sweetly. “If you didn't constantly block your pain from us I would trust that more.” He said gently. Felix pouted.
“I don't mean to. I promise I don't but seriously I am feeling way better than I feel like I should.” He pouted some at the gentle rebuff.
“That's great, Beautiful. I'm glad. And yes, Chan and I are headed to talk about what happened yesterday.”
“Should I come?” Felix asked. In part he wanted to but at the same time, he was nervous to hear anymore hateful comments.
“No baby, stay here and rest some more. Keep Jinnie company. Chan and I have this. Don’t worry.” Changbin kissed him tenderly. “Besides, the boss has asked to meet us first.” His thoughts turned to JYP. Felix nodded.
Chan knocked lightly on the door and stuck his head in. Felix waved at him. “Hey, Lixie. Good morning. Did you sleep ok?” Felix nodded with a grin. “Good. We’ll be back soon.”
Felix watched them both leave and snuggled down next to Hyunjin and kissed his bare shoulder. He had the most beautiful lovers in the world. The man next to him stirred slightly and rolled, wrapping his arms around Felix. He woke up in the time it took Chan and Binnie to reach the Company. Hyunjin wiped the sleep out of his eyes; which should not look as attractive as it was, Felix thought as they watched Binnie and Chan arrive at an office.
“Good morning.” JYP told them with a welcoming smile. The boys both greeted him with a respectful bow. “Thank you for agreeing to meet me first.” He looked at Changbin. “I know we haven’t always had the smoothest of relationships but I have always respected your professionality and talent.”
“I’m sorry about that sir, you have been very kind to Felix…” Changbin said as respectfully as he could but his words cut off as his boss waved him off.
“I wasn’t asking for an apology and you owe me none. I did what I did because I understand. What I need now though is your trust. I am going to come into the meeting. I may say a few things that sound counterintuitive, please trust that I have your back, and Felix’s.” The three men looked at each other and Chan let Changbin make the call. {C- What do you think, Beautiful?} {F- I trust him Bin. I know you have a history that doesn’t mean you do automatically but I think we should. He has been nothing but kind to me and about our connection.} Hyunjin who had woken in the meantime also chimed in. {H- I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt until we have a reason not to. He understands what is going on more than the managers will because of his own experience.} Changbin nodded.
“We agree…” He hesitated. “Please don’t hurt him.” His voice took on a pleading tone.
“Changbin-ssi, I would never hurt connected on purpose. I know what that does.” Mr. Park said gently. Changbin nodded.
“Then we agree.” Changbin said and gave a nod of approval to Chan.
“Good then my idea is for you to suggest outside security for Felix. If you do that, I will ensure you all are taken care of.” Changbin and Chan nodded.
With that the men left and headed into the large conference room.They took seats and several of the bosses filed in, including Park GinGu; the man who had so insulted Felix. Changbin couldn’t hold back his snarl at the appearance of the man. The meeting started. One of their favorite managers started things. “Chan-ssi, you called for this meeting. What’s going on?”
“As you know, we have brought Changbin and Hyunjin’s connected Felix here. Both because they all feel pain at separation as well as the need to keep Felix safe after an attack.” Chan paused slightly as Park JinYoung stepped in quietly and took a seat in the corner. He waved for Chan to continue.
Chan turned back to the others, his eyes flashing angrily at Park GinGu. “Last night, Felix came out with us in public for the first time. He was feeling very self conscious about the injuries from his attack in Sydney so Changbin asked…him…” his lips twisted with anger. “To have the makeup people cover his bruises for him. Instead he insulted Felix.”
“How so?” One of the managers asked.
“He talked about his freckles being ugly!” Changbin burst out with. “He talked about how he was too tan and called him a slut.”
“Bin.” Chan said softly and put his hand gently on Changbin’s thigh to calm him. “Calm yourself.” It was said so softly that no one else could hear. He turned back to the others. “It is very apparent that he didn’t believe in connections.”
“Many people don't,” Another manager said. “We do find this very hard to believe and regardless, it would be a perfect way for someone to worm their way in. I will admit that several of us are suspicious of this…of him.”
Changbin’s legs tensed to jump up but Chan squeezed his thigh slightly and Felix and Hyunjin worked in tandem to calm him.
“I understand that you don’t.” Chan said. “In all honesty it was very hard for me to believe as well. I took quite a bit of convincing at first and they had to prove it to me.” He leaned forward, eyes hardening. “But either way, whether you believe it or not, we are telling you this is the truth and we also will not tolerate any slurs against Felix. Period.” He gave a hard look to all the managers. “Period. “ he reiterated. “Consider him one of us.”
“Really Chan-ssi I don’t think you are in a position to make such demands. Park Gingu is a well respected manager here and he has promised to keep such thoughts to himself from now on.” One of the other managers said. “So to us, the problem is resolved. It still doesn’t explain why we need this meeting.”
Changbin’s eyes radiated the rage he felt. “You get that I see, hear and feel everything he does, correct?” He spat out.
“Well that is what you say.” The man responded dismissively.
“It’s true.” Changbin ground out. “Right now he is listening to this whole conversation and HE is actually worried that HE is causing damage. That's what you don’t get about Felix. He is the last person who would ever do anything to hurt us. He has willingly taken on pain so that Hyunjin and I don’t feel it.” Felix could feel Chan’s hand tighten on Binnie’s leg at that piece of information but his face betrayed nothing. “He tried to stay as in the background as he could but it just wasn’t possible. I know you don’t understand it or like it but I don’t care. You look at him, you see me. That's just the way it is. We are connected.”
“Mr. Seo, I understand that your boyfriend is exerting influence…” The man’s lips curled at the word boyfriend but he quieted as JYP stood.
“I came just to sit in on the meeting and find out what happened to make such a valued idol of JYPE demand this meeting. You all know my stance on gays.” The various men around the table nodded and a few smirked at Chan and Changbin. “I always said none of my idols would be gay and especially not out.”
“Exactly.” The managers agreed. “Your relationship with this boy is unauthorized and is not approved.”
Chan and Changbin shared a look. “Perhaps if our company can’t be trusted to protect a beloved person, then we should have outside security hired for him.” Changbin said. “To protect him from random people, our fans…” His eyes hardened “and our company apparently.”
The managers laughed. “You want us to PAY to protect this random boy?” Park Gingu said incredulously.
JYP spoke up. “We wouldn’t pay for a random boy to get protection. We only get protection for our idols.”
GinGu smirked again. “Exactly.”
“However…” Chan watched the manager’s get a wary look except the one who they really liked who hadn’t appreciated this whole conversation and suddenly looked like his faith was being restored. “Chan and the kids are our biggest revenue makers at the moment and this appears to be very important to them.” JYP looked around the room. “I know that connections are a relatively new phenomenon and hard for us to believe and understand so making financial decisions based on them makes no sense.”
He stepped forward and put a hand on Changbin’s shoulder. “However, I know for a fact that he, Felix and Hyunjin are connected. I saw the proof of it when I went to Australia to sort all this out. They have proved it to me. I also took some time to get to know the young man they connected to. I know this is not a position any of us expected to be in. We haven’t planned for how to protect and treat someone who isn’t an idol, isn’t under any contracts or NDAs. It makes this extremely hard to deal with. I can understand your frustration for being forced to deal with all this.” He told the managers.
He turned to face Changbin and winked. “However, as I said, I know they are telling the truth and we have to find a way to make this work, particularly since we don’t want to lose a group this talented. So I propose this. We have only the managers the whole group including Felix is comfortable with and additionally, since he isn’t technically part of JYPE we can’t have our security protect him so I think we should get him private security. People he is truly comfortable with until such time our security can be trusted to protect him from ALL threats.”
“But Boss-nim…” GinGu started but JYP held up his hand.
“I really think YOU are the last person who should be speaking in this meeting. You could have caused the entire group to break contract with the mess you made last night. While I may not like the situation we find ourselves in, I also know these men well. I know what they are capable of and I know what they will do to protect their own. They consider Felix one of their own. We will have to figure out a way to make it work. You will have no more to do with the group.” With that order he strolled out as if he had not dropped a bomb.
“Changbin-ssi, you have created a mess…” the manager froze at the raised eyebrow Chan gave and his voice trailed off.”
Changbin and Chan had a silent discussion as their eyes moved across the managers in front of them. “Manager Song, Manager Lee and Manager Kim are the only managers we will accept working with going forward.” Chan said, his voice allowing no room for discussion. The three men he had named stood and bowed to the duo and they returned the motion. “The rest of you will have nothing further to do with Stray Kids or with Felix. You will not come near him again.”
With that they stood and left. Changbin froze as Felix read a text. {C- FOUR?} {H- Holy shit!} “Bin?” Chan asked when he realized Changbin was frozen in the middle of the hallway.
“Lix got a message from Nate. He found a four person connection!” He said excitedly.
Chan's eyes widened. “WOW! That's huge!” He waited as Changbin had a silent conversation as he got in the elevator and followed Chan out to the car.
“Felix is waiting for us before he calls.” Changbin finally told him. Chan could tell he was practically jumping out of his skin.
They got to the dorm quickly though for everyone it felt like it took years. They hurriedly joined the others and Changbin kissed Felix’s temple and took a seat next to him on the couch. Felix looked around at the others who had gathered as soon as they heard via Hyunjin’s blast to their group text.
Felix picked up his phone with a shaky hand and hit the button to call Nate and put it on speaker.
“Felix! Good! You got my message.” Nate's voice came through, a tone of happiness at being able to help clearly coming through.
“Four?” Changbin asked in English.
“Is that Changbin?” Nate asked. “Yes four! Can you believe it?”
“Yes it was. You are on speaker and everyone is here.” Felix told Nate. “How did it happen?”
“I will let them tell you their story, they have given me permission to give you their contact information. But it is two men and two women. It is a romantic connection and they have had it for 9 years so far. They are raising their children together. They are understandably not out to the public so they do not want their information out there.”
“We understand.” Felix said. “They are ok with me calling them?”
“Yes. Honestly they were excited about another group larger than two.” Nate told him and they could hear his smile. He relayed their contact information and Chan wrote it down.
“And all four are connected?” Changbin asked.
“Yes. All four are connected.” Nate told them. “I’ll keep looking for more but go ahead and call them. They were very eager to talk to you.” The group thanked him and hung up.
Felix looked around at the others in question. One by one they nodded and he dialed the number again putting it on speakerphone. The ringing echoed through the otherwise quiet room and they collectively held their breath. “Hello?” A woman’s voice answered. They all froze for a moment. “Hello?” She asked again. {C- Talk to her, beautiful.}
The reminder spurned him to finally speak. “Hello. Is this Jan?” Felix asked, his voice trembling slightly.
“Yes?” Her voice crackled over the line. “Is this Nate’s friend?”
“Yes.” Felix agreed. “My name is Felix. I’m….We….um…we are…”
“Connected.” She said gently. “You are new to this aren’t you?”
“Yes.” Felix answered sheepishly with a chuckle. “I should tell you that there are additional people listening in right now because of our um…situation.”
“Yes, Nate said your circumstances were special ones. It's ok if others hear as long as it isn’t published anywhere. We aren’t out to our neighbors, they think we are just close friends.”
“I understand. Let me introduce myself. I’m Felix. Felix Lee. I met my first connection at a mall in Sydney. He is…he is um…he is famous so I won’t say his name if thats ok…”
“It's ok, Felix.” She said gently. “You don’t have to give any details you don’t want to.”
“Thank you. Anyway, he and I connected and didn’t understand it.” He took a deep breath. “Well I guess it really doesn’t matter because we did an interview about it so his name is already out there.” He looked at the others and they all nodded their agreement. “Yeah so he is in a musical group. They were at the mall to do a meet and greet with their fans and I was there shopping. We locked eyes and connected but we didn’t actually talk or anything.” He laughed. “At least not out loud.” She laughed too.
“I know how that is. My husband Peter and I were at a barbeque with some friends and I met Tina. She and I connected instantly but we didn’t understand what was happening and we were afraid to speak up about what was happening. A week or so later I invited her for dinner so we could try to figure it out and talk to Peter about it. She and Peter connected and then when her husband came to get answers he connected to us too. Finally Peter and I connected as well. It has been confusing and wonderful and at times really really hard. We had a duplex built and since Peter is a contractor, after construction was done, He and David installed an interior door between the units so that we can live in one house but appear as if it's two. Our children…well we raised them together so they think of themselves more as siblings.”
“Nate said you have been connected for nine years?” Hyunjin said.
“Sorry, that is one of my connected, that is Hyunjin. His group has seven members and two of them are in my connection. The other members are here too since this affects all of them.”
“And you Lix, this affects all of us, including you.” Changbin said softly. {F- I know. I love you. Thank you for thinking of me.} {H- Always baby.}
“He’s right. It affects all of you. I understand them being there. That's ok. They are supportive though, right?” She asked hesitantly.
“Yes!” Felix burst out with. “They have been amazingly supportive!”
“After they finished calling me crazy.” Hyunjin said with a laugh and all of them joined in.
“It can be so hard, it's so important to have a support system. I’m glad that they are there for you.”
“They are. Would it be ok if I asked you some questions?”
“Of course! We’re happy to share information.”
By the time they had hung up, they had all spoken to all the connected in Jan’s group and had gotten some great information to help them with ideas for moving forward and what they could anticipate. They all were breathing a little easier at knowing their direction and what to expect for the future. The group spent the rest of the day talking and making plans. Knowing that there were other groups like theirs helped them so much. Felix relaxed into Changbin’s arms while Hyunjin cuddled against him.
“So does this mean you need to join Stray Kids?” Jeongin asked. “They talked about it becoming more and more difficult to be apart. While Felix can work from anywhere and he can tour with us, there are times when we are split up and it will become really hard. From what they said, harder each time. He can sing and dance and he has already been added into a song.”
“It's up to Felix.” Changbin answered firmly. “He loves his job. I’m not going to force him to make that decision. And none of you are either.”
“We wouldn’t do that, Bin.” Chan answered before turning to Felix. “But that said, it really is up to you. And you don’t have to decide at any time. Just if and when you ever decide, we will make it happen.” Felix smiled around the room at his recently found family and his connected. He had never realized how close he could feel to a group of men and how much they would accept and love him for who he was.
Knowing and finally understanding why Felix was healing so much faster than they had expected, definitely had the others relaxing around him. Learning that his empathy enabled him to not just pull pain from the others but also to use the love they had for him to tap into their own healing to heal himself. They had learned that every group of multiple connected; and there were more of them then they had imagined, there was an empath like Felix. Someone who unknowingly absorbed the bad and added to all the good. The way Changbin had pulled Felix into his arms and kissed his temple, made him smile. Felix knew, no matter what, he would be loved and protected for the rest of his life. He couldn’t ask for more than that. He knew he would be making some decisions about his career and his life but there was no pressure. For now he could take his time letting Stay get to know him.
Chapter 29: Chapter 29
Summary:
The guys film a 3 kids room to tell Stay about Felix from their perspectives while the trio film their own version.
Notes:
Hello my lovelies! Did you all enjoy the fan meet as much as I did? It was amazing. And our beautiful Minsung were flying high and I loved every second.
I do not know or own any of the members of the group. Feedback is the muse that feeds my writing, please let me know if you like what I write. There are still some things planned for this story so I'm trying desperately to catch my muse again.
If you want to know when I update OR if you want to chat with me, feel free to follow me on X/twitter at _eyes_wideshut and shoot me a DM if you want to chat.
This story is fiction. Enjoy it.
Chapter Text
“Felix is…he is happiness put into a person.” Jeongin told the others, ignoring the camera. Chan, Minho, Jisung and Seungmin nodded thoughtfully. They had arranged a duel live though Felix, Changbin and Hyunjin’s was actually filmed prior. The company wanted to be sure that theirs had a chance to be edited if needed. The 5 others had live comments though the trio did not. They were ok with that knowing how nervous Felix was about this.
“He really is.” Chan said. Then he looked over at the camera. “I can’t wait for all of you to get to know him. He is like home to me. He reminds me of my home. He is a little piece of home right here.”
“He is so gentle.” Seungmin added.
“But not weak!” Jisung added.
“Definitely not weak.” Minho said. “He is a black belt in tae kwon do. Did you guys know that?” He asked the others and most nodded.
“He is?” Jeongin asked in amazement.
Minho giggled. “He’s like a kitten, feisty and able to defend himself but loves to cuddle up and purr.” The group laughed.
“That's why you took to him so fast hyung!” Jisung said, laughing. Minho giggled and nodded.
“Probably. He’s just so lovable.”
Chan read some of the comments. “I know it's hard for some of you to understand. Trust me, it was hard for us too at first. Felix is just so…he’s so sweet and kind and selfless. He would do anything for us. Not just Hyunjin or Changbin but any of us. It honestly makes us all really protective of him, you know?”
Seungmin read a comment. “I meant he is gentle as in…” he paused as he thought, “he is just a gentle caring person. He is…” He turned to the others “How would you say it?”
“He is more sensitive I think.” Jeongin said. “He is my hyung but I almost treat him like he is younger.”
“Yeah.” Minho agreed. “I think we all kind of tone down sarcasm somewhat for him.”
“I don’t think it's sarcasm really, it's just when we are more savage in our play fights. We don’t do that with Felix.” Jisung added. “It's like an unspoken agreement between us. We have never spoken about it…”
“Until now.” Seungmin smirked.
“Until now.” Jisung agreed. “We all just are protective of him; all of us. To know Lix is to love him.”
“He has this almost childlike innocence about him.” Jeongin said.
“Until he throws in an off hand comment that usually has all of us pausing like did he really just say that?” Chan has an expression of wtf and confusion on his face as he emulates their expression when it happens. They all laughed.
“The language thing is so cool!” Seungmin said. “Seeing Changbin and Hyunjin speak perfect English because of Felix being in their heads is amazing! Can you imagine the implications? Like could Lix do any of our dances because he is in their head? Could he paint like Hyunjin or ice skate like Binnie hyung?”
“Ohh I hadn’t thought of that!” Jeongin said in amazement. “I wonder what else they can share with each other.”
“The possibilities are endless.” Chan agreed.
“Which means if Jinnie thinks about it, he can fight off the air fryer with Felix’s training.” Jisung laughed and then laughed even harder at the sour look on Minho’s face.
In a different room Changbin and Hyunjin sat with Felix between them. “This has been so surreal.” Changbin said to the others, ignoring the camera for the moment. “I never would have imagined that not only could I share minds with one of my brothers but also this adorable guy.” He affectionately ran a hand through Felix’s hair. {F- This is so awkward… Can you pass me some water?}
Hyunjin reached over and grabbed one of the water bottles and passed it to Felix. “Here you go baby.” He smiled at the tiny man.
“Thank you.” Felix grinned. “I am so thirsty.” And he drank a bunch of water.
“How have you been handling this, Lixie?” Changbin asked. They all knew it was for the camera. Felix snuggled up and rubbed at the rapper’s biceps.
“I’ve been ok. It was exciting to get here and have you introduce me to your world but I also get a little scared being here. It's so different and I don’t know how the fans are going to take me so that has me a little concerned. I just don’t ever want to do anything that would potentially cause the group any harm.” He paused. “The connection makes this a lot easier. If I were here without being able to speak and understand Korean this would be so much harder. Can you imagine trying to have a conversation with me? I would just pretend to listen and understand and probably say something like Stray Kids and walk away.” They all laughed.
“That's your main concern?” Hyunjin asked, circling back to part of what Felix had said. “You are worried that you will cause harm to the group?”.
“Yeah. Your brothers mean everything to both of you not to mention that I love them too. I would rather hurt myself than any of you. Ever.”
“Awww. That's our sunshine!” Changbin said with a giggle. {C- I’m sorry we have to play this up for the camera.} {F- Not your fault.} Felix grinned at him.
“You are such a dork.” Felix laughed. Changbin grinned at him.
“No, he’s a snack.” Hyunjin added with a grin.
“You LOOOOVVVVEEE me.” Changbin played up the aegyo.
“Ugh.” Hyunjin said and gave a fake look of disgust before laughing.
Felix clapped happily as he laughed. “So are you ready to get back to work?” Hyunjin asked Felix.
“Yeah. I’m glad my job lets me work from anywhere. Stay should see the office you guys set up for me. It's so cool! Innie took me to get stuff to make it feel more like an office. Its better than my one back home.”
“No poster of us on the wall.” Hyunjin teased.
“Nope now I have pictures WITH you all instead of just you all.”
“I liked that you put up our poster after you and Jin connected. You guys talked so much it was almost like you were talking TO us instead of just looking at a picture.” Changbin said.
“He bought our album after he figured out who we were.” Hyunjin told the camera. “It made him feel more like he was talking to me in the early days.” Felix nodded.
“Back then we didn’t talk on the phone at all so it made you feel more real instead of just a voice in my head.” Felix explained.
Felix took another sip of water and accepted the small bowl of grapes Changbin handed him. He popped one in his mouth and got a wow type expression on his face. “Ohh these are really good!” he said, covering his mouth while he talked and picked back up his prior thought. “I like working. I like being needed and a part of something. Plus doing medical billing I kind of make a difference, you know? I feel like I’m helping people protect their health.”
“I like that, Lix.” Changbin told him. “That fits you so well.”
“Do you think that's what you want to do forever?” Hyunjin asked.
Felix shrugged. “I don’t know.” He said. “It's good for now.”
“You love to dance, right?” Changbin said. “Have you ever tried to do anything with that?”
Felix thought about it and shrugged. “Not really. I am just the average guy working a 9-5 and living my life. It wasn’t until meeting you guys that I realized there was more to life than working, you know?”
They all knew what he meant. They could see the differences in how he thought of his life before and how he saw it now. Now it was full of life and beauty and color; even with everything that had happened, he greeted each day with excitement. Hyunjin and Changbin as well as their brothers had shown him how wonderful life could be.
“Aww, Angel, that's such a perfect thought.” Hyunjin said softly though the mics picked it up anyway.
Changbin turned to the camera. “Felix was thinking about how much we and the other kids fill him with an enjoyment for beauty and life that he didn’t have before us. It was an incredibly sweet thought.”
“There are times I wish that Stay could hear just a few of his thoughts so they could understand how precious and full of love he is.” Hyunjin said and Changbin nodded as Felix blushed.
“Well anyway, Stay seemed to like your voice in our song. I hope you decide and are willing to contribute some more!” Changbin’s voice betrayed his absolute excitement at the thought. “Adding your voice into the mix is a producer's dream.”
Felix blushed even more. “Stop guys! I’m nothing special.” He argued weakly in embarrassment.
“The fact that you truly believe that only adds to your charm little Lixie.” Hyunjin said with a grin and ruffled his hair.
Both groups continued talking and fleshing out their relationships with Felix and his personality. They really hoped this would let the fans get to know Felix through their eyes and took their time to really bring Felix to life for them. By the time they stopped, Felix was cuddled up to Changbin, pulling Hyunjin’s arm closer to keep him close as well. {F- I love you both so much.} {C & H We love you too Lix.}
Chapter 30: Chapter 30
Summary:
The guys begin to fall into a rhythm and good things are on the horizen.
Notes:
A/N Hello my lovlies! Sorry for the delay on this chapter. I have had to restart it several times until I was actually ok with it. Anyway, here it is. I do not know or own any of the people named here. This story is fiction and any resemblance to reality is coincidence. I crosspost to AO3 and Wattpad but no where else. Feedback is the fuel to my muse so if you like what I write please let me know. If you want to be alerted when I post anything, you can follow me at _eyes_wideshut on Twitter/X. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Text
Over the next several weeks, they fell into a rhythm. The guys spend most of their days late into the night at the company preparing for their comeback. Felix worked overtime to catch up on emails and help clear out the queues that had gotten backed up during his absence at work. The day their SKZ talker went out with him in it, most of his coworkers watched and he got a flurry of messages from them with excitement. He didn’t know how they had found out, he hadn’t told anyone but his boss about the connection but apparently word had spread. It seemed like most of their company watched and he got so many congratulations emails and even a few “dude your boyfriends are HOT” messages and two of his coworkers were apparently Stay’s and they were equally excited that they had felt like they had an in to their idols and yet insulting that he was daring to date not just one but two members. It made him very nervous for how the rest of Stay was taking it.
Felix talked it over with the others. Chris was positive that once Stay really got to know Felix they would adore him. Jeongin just hugged Felix, surprising the others. Hyunjin and Changbin were loving and supportive and promised they were with him no matter what. Minho cooked for him and kept handing him food whenever he was around. It got to a point where it was funny. Felix had just eaten a huge dinner with the others and they were sitting around talking before heading off to their various evening pursuits and Felix had just patted his tummy. Minho took that as a sign and had appeared shortly after with a tray of snacks and the last of his favorite pudding just in case Felix had wanted that though when Hyunjin had reached for it Minho had smacked his hand causing Felix to just start laughing and it took awhile to stop.Jisung just cuddled him and told him he was too loveable to hate. The best was Seungmin. The younger man had listed why Stay would adore him. Every argument Felix had for why they wouldn’t Seungmin would counter with two on why they would. He was a rock for Felix and before it would get too heavy emotionally, he would become the demon gremlin and antagonize one of the others to make Felix laugh.
The group was gearing up for a trip to the US where they would be going to the Met Gala. It hadn’t been announced yet but they had met with Tommy Hilfiger who had shown them designs for what they would wear. Felix had been shocked to be included. Mr. Hilfiger had been incredibly kind regarding his inclusion stating he wanted Felix to really stand out, his looks were so striking. Anna Wintour had demanded pictures of Felix and researched him before agreeing to his admittance but apparently Mr.Hilfiger had gone to bat for him and after reading their story she had agreed without reservation. They had even convinced Felix to re-bleach his hair and do some conditioning treatments to make his hair fall like silk. {H- He’s right, Angel. You are beautiful.} They were all being dressed in varying colors of red, black, white and navy but Felix was in all white except for his shoes. {C- He looks like an Angel. No wonder you call him that.} {H- Right?!?} Felix blushed.
In preparation to actually join the guys in America, they had Felix interview a couple of private security guards for him. He chose the ones he liked the best and they were set to protect him whenever he was leaving the dorms. Though he worked from the dorm, they fell in step whenever he left. He liked them. JYP himself had submitted the names to Chan ensuring that they would understand the situation and could be trusted. They so far were treating Felix with the utmost of respect.
Every night, Felix either made a simple dinner or stopped and picked up dinner for the group and brought it to the company for everyone. He hated that they were on such strict diets but he found ways to make it delicious and still healthy when he cooked; adding citrus and herbs and spices to add flavor to their simple boiled or grilled chicken and vegetables. They definitely seemed to appreciate his efforts. Conversely, Minho still bought all their favorite treats and made sure Felix tried them all. He felt guilty eating them in front of the group but they seemed happy to fatten him up a bit. He heard several of them comment that he was too thin and that they wanted him to actually enjoy food and the freedom to eat as he chose. Considering his past relationship, he appreciated the effort.
Felix filmed a few things with them that wouldn’t be released until after their comeback but he was excited to be included as well as 3racha getting him to contribute little parts on the new album. Felix was nervous but overwhelmed by the support and love the whole group gave him, they WANTED him to be a part of what they did. It meant more to him than he could even admit. He even filmed himself baking brownies that he intended to share with the guards and crew that night at the next award show. After he boxed up the treats; Felix took his time to get ready. His suit matched the other guys and this time he was allowed to walk the red carpet with them. He froze when he heard his name yelled by some fans. They seemed excited to see him so he smiled and waved at them. As the group paused for pictures, Felix somewhat hesitantly moved closer to Stay, flanked by his security. “Hi!” He said with a warm smile.
“Oh my god! Felix! Hi!” One girl said and a slew of others immediately moved toward them. His security stepped closer but Felix held up a hand asking them to wait.
“Hi!” Felix answered her. “What’s your name?”
“Camilla.” The girl answered.
“It’s nice to meet you Camilla.” He paused and blushed and then held out the box. “I baked some brownies for everyone, would you all like one?” He didn’t know if they actually would take any but they dove on them like they were being offered by his boyfriends instead. The crowd around him grew but stayed respectful. {H- We need to walk the line, Angel.} {C- Would you like to have security bring you to us when you are finished?} Changbin suggested. {F- Please. I want them to have a chance to get to know me a little.} {H- Sure Angel.} Felix nodded at the two and they moved on down the line with the others while Felix turned back to the girls. They looked at him curiously.
“Were you just talking to one of our Oppas?” Camilla asked excitedly.
“Yeah, I was telling them I was going to meet up with them in a minute because I wanted to talk to Stay for a few minutes.” He said with a shy grin.
She giggled and Felix relaxed. “Can I have your autograph?” She asked.
“Oh…uh…I mean if you want it but I’m no one special.” His blush deepened.
“Or a selfie with you?” Another girl asked.
Felix stayed for a few minutes close to the girls and talked to all of them. He allowed them to snap selfies with him, posing sweetly with them and awkwardly signed his autograph for them. He spent time chatting with each one and relaxed as they were friendly and smiled at him. He answered a few questions but listened to Hyunjin and Changbin’s thoughts and suggested responses. When his security signaled him, he smiled at the girls and thanked them for supporting Stray Kids and moved to join his friends. Before he got there, he was kidnapped…Lix napped? By a familiar face. He waved off his security with a laugh letting the man know he was ok with this.
“I got you. I’m holding you hostage till you join us.” The Lix-napper giggled.
Felix laughed. “Hey Wooyo!” He said happily and hugged the other man.
“Hey guys! Look who I found!” Woo Young called out to his members. Seven men turned and smiled and greeted Felix. They all greeted him with hugs and he could hear Changbin’s amusement that even the less skinship loving members like Seongwha and Jongho willingly hugged him with no complaints. “You sure you don’t want to join Ateez? You would make a great mascot.” Woo Young teased and Felix laughed.
Felix noticed Mingi and Yunho looking at each other. {H- Yeah I’m pretty sure it is Mingi and I guess Yunho who are also connected.} {C- Definitely appears to be.} {F- They are so cute. I didn’t talk much to them last time.} {C- They are both really nice from what I know. Yunho I got to know a bit during Kingdom but Mingi wasn’t there I don’t think. I don’t remember him there. I think that was during his hiatus.} {H- Him and me both.} Hyunjin’s thoughts had a bitter edge to them that Felix wasn’t used to hearing and feeling. {F- What happened?}
The other two thought about the hiatus Hyunjin had taken during the bullying investigation. Hyunjin had been incredibly hurt by the accusations and the fight to clear his name but what had bothered him more than anything had been the way none of his brothers were allowed to talk to him during his time away. He had to stay with his parents basically under lock and key. His brothers would have Jiniret around occasionally, to show their silent support but they weren’t allowed to call, text or mention him at all. It had made his isolation even worse because he had no one to rely on. The guys had become his family and his whole world by that time and to be ripped away like that had been devastating. His name had been cleared of all but a minor fight but the damage had been done and he would forever be seen by some as a bully. {C- Jin, you know we have never felt that way about you, right?} {H- I know Bin. It just still hurts. I was so alone and scared and angry but I couldn’t do anything about it.} {C- I tried to call you so many times, they had blocked your numbers from our phones and wouldn’t let us. Sungie even tried to sneak out to go to you but security stopped him every time.} {H- He did?} The joy and wonder in the thought came through. {C- hell Jin, we all did. He was just more stubborn about it. Chan couldn’t; they were watching him too close, he kept the Innie and Minnie from doing it only to keep them out of trouble. Min covered for Sungie constantly and I was trying to keep shit together. We were not happy with what was happening. You remember what we looked like when you came back.} They both pictured each member at the reunion. All of them looked exhausted, thin and stressed. They had a slumber party all together for almost a week before they let Hyunjin sleep on his own again. They had all needed that time to heal as a group. Felix had the thought that he wouldn’t have let anything stop him. Hyunjin thought about kissing him and Mingi’s eyebrow went up as he apparently was reacting as if he were being kissed. Felix blushed.
“So…” Felix cleared his throat. “Are you guys performing tonight?” He asked.
“Yeah, we are doing Crazy Form.” HongJoong replied. “You are welcome to sit with us again when your guys are up there.” He added. “I made sure our seats were close. We don’t have tables this time but there are rows of seats and I think we are the row above you guys.”
“Thanks!” Felix answered with a grin.
“Aww. Who could say no to this adorable face?” WooYoung teased and kissed Felix’s cheek. San tensed for a second but then relaxed. It appeared that he didn’t find Felix to be a threat which he appreciated. It helped to have additional friends here. “Give me your phone, little Pixie.” With a bemused smile Felix handed over his phone and Wooyoung programmed his number in before HongJoong grabbed it as well and put in his own.
“If you need anything, you can always call me. I know you have your connected and the rest of the kids but just in case.” He smiled and handed the phone back to Felix.
“Thank you all so much for being kind to me. I know it can’t be easy to know some random guy out there knows things about you that the public doesn’t know.” Felix said softly.
“You aren’t just a random guy.” Mingi said softly. “You are one of us. When you connected to Hyunjin you were no longer just a random guy. You were part of our extended family.” Felix’s smile lit up into a beaming one and with a wave he headed to join his connected. He walked the remainder of the line with them, he would step to the side whenever their pictures were being taken but he would smile at the reporters and good naturedly call out replies to their shouted questions to him.
Felix moved with them, always just behind one of his connected though Chan stayed behind him, the way he always stayed behind the kids, he kept Felix with the others, quietly keeping an eye on him. Felix looked back at him questioningly once but Chan just smiled that beautiful dimpled smile and gestured for him to go ahead. Felix grinned and went on ahead, Jisung throwing an arm around him and chattering about nothing the way he often did. Felix was tuned out, his senses somewhat overwhelmed but he tuned back in as he realized Jisung was making plans to take Felix to his favorite ramen place in the next few days. Felix nodded enthusiastically. He loved how each of them took their time to make sure he felt welcome.
They made it to their seats and Felix was immediately pulled between his two connected. He felt someone pat his shoulder and looked back to see Minho sitting behind him and directly behind hyung, Wooyoung blew him a kiss and he laughed and blushed. Felix enjoyed the award show immensely. He cheered for the kids when they won and with his ribs feeling much better, he danced and sang along with them when they performed, although from his seat. He watched Ateez perform a song called Crazy Form and he liked it a lot. He was so happy to be making new friends among them.
Felix noticed some girls watching them with curiosity from a few rows away. {C- That’s Blackpink. A girl group.} He told Felix, seeing him noticing the looks between them. {H- Jennie seems to be watching you pretty closely.} There was a tinge of jealousy to the thought. Felix laughed. {F- I’m very very taken, baby.} His amusement seeped through though his thoughts were also full of love. Felix smiled at the woman in question and she smiled back and the other three women turned and looked at him at the same time. He smiled and gave a little wave to all of them, they looked between themselves and without saying a word, they turned back to him and smiled back and waved. {F- They seem very nice.} {C- They are extremely talented. You should listen to a bit of their work.} {F- I will.} Felix agreed. They settled in for the rest of the award ceremony and Felix basked in the love and companionship of his friends and connected. A year ago he never would have imagined he would be here, with these people. It was beyond his wildest dreams and the ride was just beginning. They would be leaving for America in a few days and Felix was both excited and nervous to be going on the road with the guys.
Chapter 31: Chapter 31
Summary:
Felix meets his connected's families and the boys head to the US. Felix gets a taste of what its like on the inside. And the connected have an interlude where Felix discovers something about himself. Smut warning.
Notes:
Hello my lovelies! Here we are back at it. Please forgive any typos, I will fix as I catch them but I really wanted to get this up for you since you have waited long enough. :)
This is fiction and I do not know or own any of the characters named within. Feedback is the muse to my soul so if you like what I write please let me know. This is cross posted between AO3 and Wattpad. If you want to be alerted when I update or if you want to message me, feel free to follow me on X/Twitter at _eyes_wideshut and drop me a message if you are so inclined. Much love to all of you!
Chapter Text
The night before they were due to leave for the US, Binnie and Hyunjin invited their families over for dinner. Now that the news was out, there was no reason for them not to meet Felix and both men were extraordinarily happy to introduce Lix to them. Felix for his part was nervous. As long as he had been with Jacob, he had never met the man’s parents. Looking back, it was obvious Jacob had kept him as a dirty little secret. Felix actually wondered if they even knew about him then he winced. He bet they did now. He wished they could have met him before all this so they maybe wouldn’t blame him for what had happened. {H- None of that was your fault Angel.} {C- He did all that himself, beautiful.} {F- Doesn’t change me wanting to not have them look badly on me.}
“They will love you, baby.” Hyunjin reassured him. Felix gave a weak smile.
Felix stayed in their room getting ready long after he heard their guests arrive. Both of his connected were telling him to take his time until he was ready. He dressed in jeans and a white button down shirt that he carefully tucked in. He tentatively made his way down the hall and paused next to the open door looking in. He saw Hyunjin chatting with a man and a woman and Changbin was laughing with a woman a bit older than himself and behind them sat his parents. Hyunjin’s mom saw him first.
“Aww, you are Felix! We are so excited to meet you!” She stood and moved over to him, giving him a hug followed closely by Changbin’s mom.
“Aren’t you just beautiful?” She said and patted his cheek. “I’m Changbin’s mom. You can call me Seo Jang-mo-nim.” Her offering him to call her his mother in law already warmed his heart. He smiled and both women gave warm smiles in response.
“And you can call me Hwang Jang-mo-nim.” Hyunjin’s mom added. “Come, sit and get to know us.” They pulled him over to the couch and put him down between them. “We read the article and we are so amazed by the connection.”
“We can’t wait to see it in action.” Changbin’s father added.
“Plus, oppa's mother called us to tell us all about you.” Changbin’s sister added with a grin. Felix knew they meant Chan’s mother.
He chatted with them a bit and got to know both families and it didn’t take long until he felt completely at home with both groups. They were friendly to him and so kind and more understanding than he would have believed possible. As the trio wordlessly, verbally at least, provided for the others; their families' smiles grew. The connection was so obvious to anyone who was watching. By the time they left that night his mother had gotten on the phone with the other mothers and had become fast friends as well. They had made plans to have all the parents come together after the boys came back to Korea so everyone could meet in person. Both mothers assured Mrs. Lee they would care for Felix as if he were their own. It was a good night. The next morning was another story.
Felix sat in the car staring out at the wall of paparazzi and fans that were lined up in front of the airport doors. “Is it always like this?” He asked in amazement. The flashes were already going off rapidly even though the windows were tinted and no one could see in. Hyunjin took his hand gently.
“Yes. It's always like this.” He whispered. “I promise it will be ok. You’ve seen us go through it.”
“It's different actually being here for it.” Felix muttered. “How long do we sit here?” Felix asked nervously. “I feel like the longer we sit, the more intense they will get.”
“We are just letting security get in position.” Minho answered. “Once they are in place they will wall us in and walk us through. Keep your head down and just go. That's what Jisung has to do.”
“I don’t want to do that. I’m just scared.” Felix admitted softly.
“It's ok, Angel. I promise.” Hyunjin reiterated.
“And you are sure I’m sitting with you all?” Felix asked.
“Yeah. Bin and I were going to split the upgrade cost, then Chan stepped in and talked to the boss who said flying in first class with us was better protection for our connected and worth the additional price.” Felix smiled.
“Chan is so sweet.” Felix said with a hint of a smile and heard a knock on the window and looked up again. The doors of the SUV were being opened. He grabbed his bag and followed Hyunjin out, meeting a wall of sound and flashes. Hyunjin took his hand and led him over to the walkway to cross the street and go into the airport. The others smiled and waved and he breathed a sigh of relief as Binnie stepped up to his other side. Felix smiled over at him. Changbin winked at him.
“Just stay close behind me, Angel and don’t say anything.” Hyunjin advised and Felix nodded as the security surrounded them, Felix noticed two of his own security staying on either side of him. They began the walk into the airport. Felix looked up from his feet occasionally and smiled at the people around and gave little waves every so often. He felt like an imposter but then he started hearing occasional shouts of his own name. His smile grew and he became more comfortable. They made their way to the ticketing counter and took their turns. He stepped to the side when he finished, unsure where he was supposed to stand but the others began to join him and with the security again surrounding them, they were led through security and finally it grew quiet.
“That was so much different in person than in your head.” Felix told Hyunjin.
“Yeah, no amount of seeing or telling is the same as being there.” Jisung told him, taking a seat next to him. He passed over a bottle of water to Felix.
“How do you do it with your anxiety?”
“I stay close to hyung and he talks to me the whole time, it helps to calm me.”
“It also calms me to be able to touch jagi.” Minho said, taking a seat on the other side of Felix. “We all have coping mechanisms to get by.”
Felix smiled over at the older man. “You guys are so good together. If I didn’t have Jin and Bin I would be so jealous watching the two of you.”
Minho looked at Jisung and seemed to get lost in the man's boba eyes, giving a slow blink and a small smile gracing his mouth. “He’s my jagi.” Minho finally said and blushed just a bit as winked and had a lewd thought based on Minho’s expression. Felix laughed. Minho cleared his throat trying to gain some control. “Anyway, we all have our own ways to get by. Hyunjin had noise canceling headphones and tends to block out as much as he can. Jeongin smiles and waves and tries to ignore. Minnie ignores all of it and just marches through. Bin-ah and hyung try their best to be watching and be protective.”
Felix nodded. “What will I do, I wonder.” He muttered.
“You will be you.” Minho answered. “That's all anyone wants.”
Felix smiled at him and settled back to wait, just watching the others with a smile as he listened to the conversations happening around him. When they boarded he was surprised to see Jeongin taking the seat next to him instead of one of his connected but he grinned at the younger man. They settled into conversation and he relaxed into the 14 hour flight. He and Innie chatted and shared various videos with each other as they scrolled through tiktok. He was shocked when he came across a fan edit of him, Changbin and Hyunjin. He looked through the comments curiously. He saw a few hateful ones but the vast majority were positive. Several Stay were swooning over the three of them. He grinned when he saw a comment from someone who said he had baked treats for them and chatted for a while. She linked her twitter where she had posted the selfie he had taken with her. Felix was almost humbled by the sweetness. While more users on twitter were being hateful; many others were coming to his defense.
“It's not good to look at the comments, they can be a little unhinged.” Innie said, looking over his shoulder.
“I know but look, some of the stays I met at the award thing are defending me.” Felix said happily. “They don’t all hate me!” Jeongin’s expression softened.
“Of course they don’t. Lix anyone who takes five seconds to talk to you, could never hate you.” He leaned over and kissed Felix’s temple and Felix blushed slightly and grinned happily.
“Thank you Innie.” Felix said. He rubbed his brother's arms affectionately and they fell back into random conversation. Sharing details about their childhood, excitement about an upcoming expansion to a game they both played and discussions over the foods they wanted to try in America. Jeongin told him about the pizza and burgers they had last time they had come. Felix, who had never been, was looking forward to seeing everything. He had thought he was too amped up to sleep but he woke hours later, head on Changbin’s shoulder. His connected slept on and Felix looked over, memorizing the man’s features over and over. Changbin was beautiful in every way. He didn’t know when he and Innie had switched seats but waking up on Bin’s shoulder was a pleasant wake up either way. He looked out the window and saw the sea and clouds. He stretched and went to the bathroom, Hyunjin looked up and winked as he went by, Innie, curled up against him. Felix smiled. Back. He had no idea how he had gotten this lucky but he would never stop being grateful.
They landed and made their way through the airport without incident. Though there were fans and paps there, they weren’t as crazy as they were in Korea. Felix breathed a sigh of relief and they made their way to the SUVs that would take them to their hotels. When they got there, Felix, Changbin and Hyunjin got settled into their room and then Felix went to Chan’s room, responding to a message. When he arrived one of their managers was there with his hyung. “Lix, good, you got my message.” Chan said with a smile. “Boss nim wanted to get you set up with a professional instagram and to give you access to the Stray Kids tiktok page. You had talked about loving to dance and loving tik tok and I was thinking maybe you could do some various dance challenges every so often just to keep you in the fans eyes as one of us. Would that be acceptable?”
Felix’s eyes got wider and he nodded. “Yeah that would be great!” He agreed. The manager asked for his phone and Felix handed it over. The man set up his instagram and got him logged into the tiktok page.
“Make sure anything is cleared by Chan before you post. He will know what wouldn’t be acceptable.” The man told him with a smile.
“Of course. Thank you so much.” Felix grinned. The manager left and he sat next to Chris. “Are you sure this is ok?” He asked, his voice full of his nerves.
“Lix, you are one of us. You are absolutely welcome to do this and you really don’t have to check posts with me first. Only if you think it may be a problem.” Chris reassured him. “I know you worry a lot about doing anything to hurt us. I don’t want you to actually worry that just being you is going to hurt us. Ok?”
Felix gave him a smile. “Thanks, Chris.” They chatted and the others eventually congregated to the room, it felt like family and Felix was again filled with joy at having found these men. They spent the rest of the day relaxing. People came and went from the room and eventually ordered room service together. They ate as a family before Chan went through the schedule.
They would be having a last fitting for the Met Gala the following morning and after that they were free to explore the city a bit. They would be filming a music video that night and then the next day would be the met gala. After they had a smattering of interviews and appearances over the next week and a half with plenty of time to explore and enjoy the city. Chan made it clear Felix was wanted at any and all things the kids had planned. He even laid out how he had worked with the videographer to include Felix in the music video if he wanted to be a part of it. When they finally were dismissed Felix headed for the door.
{F- if the two of you would care to join me, I would like to break in our bed.} He didn’t even look back but he snickered as he heard both Changbin and Hyunjin jump to their feet. “Yeah…uh….we need to uh…” Changbin stuttered out.
“We gotta go.” Hyunjin added and dragged Changbin with him. There was laughter behind but Felix ignored it all. He entered their room and dropped pieces of his clothing as he went. He slid back onto the bed and looked under his eye lashes at the two men watching him as his hand slid down his body and over his cock. The two men were transfixed watching him as if he were the air they needed to breathe. He blossomed under their attention and their thoughts of how beautiful and sexy he was. He stroked himself and as Hyunjin made a move forward Felix shook his head. {F- Not yet. Just watch.} {H- but angel…} His thoughts were pleading. He wanted to taste Felix, he wanted to kiss and lick every inch of his connected. He wanted Changbin to meet him over Felix’s cock and for the two of them to feast. {C- Fuck yes!} Changbin thought with an audible groan. {C- Thats so hot Jinnie.} Hyunjin had a random thought that one day he wanted to cover their bodies in a different color of paint and make out on a clean sheet and look at the art that came out of it. Felix moaned loudly at the thought. {F- That would be so hot to look at later.}
“Now come here.” Felix commanded them and the two men instantly began stripping and made their way to the bed. When they moved to touch him Felix again shook his head. “I want to watch you two. I want to see Jinnie fall apart under Binnie.” The two men groaned again, both cocks hard and ready for what was to come.
Hyunjin bent over the bed, spreading his legs as Felix tossed the lube over to Changbin. He continued to stroke himself as he watched Changbin begin prepping Hyunjin. The taller man threw his head back as Bin’s blunt fingers found the little bundle of nerves inside him and stroked it. Felix moved closer and kissed Hyunjin; enjoying the little sounds of desperation the man was making. When Changbin finally slid inside they all moaned at the feeling. Felix reached behind and began fingering himself to the same rhythm. He couldn’t reach well but he needed the stimulation. “Thats in Lix, fuck yourself with those fingers, beautiful.” Changbin said, his dark eyes locked on the view.
Felix was watching Hyunjin bent over the bed, eyes rolling back in pleasure, hand grasping behind him to pull Changbin in harder. Hyunjin made the most beautiful and desperate sounds when he was being railed. It made Felix want to do it sometime. Hyunjin’s eyes locked on to him. {H- Yes, angel, yes. Fuck me.} Felix crawled toward him again and kissed him, tenderly not passionately. {F- Not right now my love. I will sometime. But tonight I want to watch you just like this. Falling apart and begging for Bin to fill you harder and faster.} Hyunjin let out a wanton sound, his eyes sliding closed. {F- Look Bin, look how beautiful he looks all devastated and begging.} Both men took in how wrecked Hyunjin looked. His hair a mess, a sheen of sweat covering his body, muscles standing out in his arms and legs as he begged Changbin for more, eyes rolling back in his head and little uh uh sounds punching out with every thrust. “I want you to cum just like this Hyunjin. Not a touch to your cock, just on Bin’s dick. You feel it brushing your prostate? You see how sexy we think you look right now?”
“Please!” Hyunjin moaned out.
“Please what baby?” Felix teased, enjoying this roll he was playing more than he had thought he would. It appeared their connection with him made him feel more secure than he ever had and with that came a desire to be pulling the strings.
“Please, I need to cum.” Hyunjin begged.
Felix met Changbin’s eyes as he jacked himself harder. They wordlessly agreed. “You can cum Hyunjin.” Felix granted the permission. With a cry Hyunjin came untouched and it seemed to go on for a long time. He collapsed forward onto the bed, no longer able to hold himself up at all. He pulled himself out of the way and Changbin grabbed Felix and hauled him to the end of the bed. He threw Felix’s legs up and thrust in with a single minded purpose, if they hadn’t been connected, he would have checked in first but he could see, hear and feel the desire Felix had for exactly what was happening. He was intent on wrecking Felix the same way and Felix was loving every second of it. He could see Bin’s arm muscles rippling as he held and maneuvered Felix the way he wanted him. Hyunjin caught his breath and slid down to take Felix into his mouth. It was fast and frenzied and they all loved every second of it. With a cry Changbin came and Felix followed shortly after, spilling himself in Hyunjin’s mouth.
They collapsed in a pile on the bed, all breathing hard and letting their muscles relax, legs having a chance to stop shaking. Changbin gently touched Felix. “I wasn’t too rough, right?”
“No! Not at all! That was hot as hell Bin.” Felix reassured him with a grin. Changbin kissed Felix tenderly and then Hyunjin.
“You good, Jin?”
“Fuck yes.” Hyunjin said with a grin and kissed Felix too. Changbin smiled at them and pulled them up and into the bathroom. The three took their time cleaning each other with tender loving touches. They dried off and finally fell into the bed in an exhausted heap; jet lag having caught up to them. Changbin set his alarm and they let their dreams take them.
Chapter 32: Chapter 32
Summary:
More connection reveals, The Met Gala, and a few other tidbits.
Notes:
Hello my lovelies! Well you may thank a reader for this chapter. Friday my Sissy sent me a message and said a friend of hers was reading a story and told her all about it. Then she sent a link and my Sissy was excited to see it was this one. It made me so excited. I know people read this and I know its a loved story but there is something about having it find its way into RL convos that just makes me so giddy!! So to that new reader, welcome! This chapter is dedicated to you who made me desperate to update so I could say thank you. And to my Sissy for telling me and for the Yeji idea. hehehe.
This story is fictional. I write because I love to and I love the guys. While I do use some real life moments, the story is still fictional. I cross post between here and wattpad. I work hard on my craft, please do not steal my story and let me know if you see it posted elsewhere. If you like what I write, please let me know. If you don't, keep scrolling please, I am a sensitive bean. If you want to be alerted when I update or if you want to chat you can follow me on twitter at _eyes_wideshut
Enjoy!
Chapter Text
Changbin woke up and stretched before kissing his two connected on the forehead and getting up to get into the shower. He dressed after and then ordered breakfast for them. When breakfast arrived the other two began stirring. {C- Good morning my loves.} “I ordered breakfast for us, then you have an hour to get ready for the fitting.” He told them. Felix walked by and kissed him and then headed for the shower. {F- I’m gonna go ahead and shower. I’ll eat after.}
Changbin poured them each a cup of coffee and sat at the table with Hyunjin. Hyunjin grabbed himself a bowl of fruit and looked wistfully at the croissant Changbin was eating. {C- Baby, you know you can have it if you want it.} {H- I shouldn’t. We have been measured and I want to make sure I fit in the outfit.} (F- You give yourself far too many rules, baby.} {C- It’s to keep up our weight for the comeback. In the early days we were on pretty strict diets and Jinnie always keeps himself on it even though we aren’t on specific diets anymore.} Felix rejoined them and grabbed some breakfast himself.
“That's one other good thing about our bond.” Felix said with a grin. “You can eat without actually eating.” He winked at Hyunjin and took a big bite of the pastry. Hyunjin focused on the taste of the buttery flaky layers and just enjoyed the flavor of Felix’s food.
“Thanks, Angel. Compared to everything else, that one is minor but all the same I appreciate it.”
Felix could see that Hyunjin’s thoughts were on what he thought the greatest things were, which were all about how much he loved Felix and Changbin and how his connection to them made him feel so loved. Felix smiled. That was his favorite part too, he would admit. How he had gone from feeling unloved and alone even when he was with his boyfriend to being with two men who absolutely cherished him and showed him that. Even when he was alone, he was never alone now. He was loved and felt that love every single second of every day. It was completely worth everything he had gone through. They were worth everything he had gone through. In truth even the others in the group were worth what he had gone through. Their friendship to him made it worth it.
After breakfast they went to their fitting and were released and told to be back at the hotel by 4 for the filming they were doing that night. They all decided to explore together. Felix hadn’t expected that but they seemed to want to spend time with him and each other. It was sweet. They explored the city and would stop to shop every so often. Jeongin especially seemed to have a serious eye for fashion and frequently dragged at least one of them into some store to try on something he had seen in the window.
That afternoon he settled into a chair to watch their filming but they occasionally requested he join them in front of the camera. He did his best to do the choreography with them and they kept moving him to the front. Finally he gave in and just joined in. He mouthed the parts that Changbin had him record. They filmed for hours before tiredly heading back to the hotel. By the time they washed up and fell into bed, Felix was sore from the dancing and thoroughly exhausted but happy.
The next morning they headed to the location to meet up with Tommy Hilfiger. He got them all dressed and when Felix came out the others cheered. “You really do look like an angel! All in white.” Chan said with a grin. They covered up with their coats and headed to the event. They were stopped for an interview and Chan actually asked Felix to speak too. He did even though he was nervous but he smiled and talked through it. Tommy was asked why he included Felix. The man replied that Felix was part of the group. It warmed Felix’s heart so much.
They went to the area in front of the paparazzi and took their places. They kept straight faces but Felix was getting bothered by the things being said by the photographers. When they turned he could see the tightness of Seungmin’s shoulders and knew he was too. Then they did their reveal out of the jackets and the guys got even worse. He could tell by the fire in Seungmin’s eyes, the careful blankness in Jisung’s face, the tightness of Minho’s shoulders and Chan’s clapping to move them away that he wasn’t the only one who had clocked the disrespect they had just dealt with. They worked hard to shake off the negativity and enjoy the gala.
Felix was laughing with someone when a woman approached. “Hey Jennie!” Chan said and gave her a hug. Felix looked over curiously. He vaguely recognized her but couldn’t remember from where. She looked over at him and then back to Chan and smiled.
“Hey Chris,” Her melodic voice said. “I was hoping to run into you here and meet your new…friend.” She smiled.
“It’s good to see you.” Chan answered. “This is Felix. Lix, this is Kim Jennie from Blackpink, another kpopgroup.” He made the introductions. Now Felix recognized her. She and her friends had been watching him. He gave a wave.
“Hi. It's nice to meet you.” Felix said.
“Oh, I see Anna and want to thank her for inviting us. I’ll be right back.” Chan said and stepped toward the imposing woman, leaving Felix alone with Jennie. Felix watched him and then turned back to find Jennie watching him intently.
“So you are friends with Chris?” he asked a bit awkwardly, not understanding her intense gaze.
“Yes, we’ve been friends for a few years. So you are the connected everyone is talking about?” She raised an eyebrow. Felix felt like he was taking a test he didn’t understand.
“I don’t know about everyone.” Felix disagreed softly and shrugged self consciously.
“Then you aren’t paying attention.” She said not unkindly.. “You are the talk of the town, well every town really.” She paused and cocked her head looking at him and Felix thought she might be trying to figure him out. “I read the article. Was that how it happened?”
“Yeah. I know it's really hard to believe but it's true.” Felix could feel the attention of his connected and they were ready to step in but they were all curious where this was going. “My connection to Hyunjin and then Changbin has been so amazing and has changed my life.”
“How?” She asked.
“What do you mean?”
“How has it changed your life? I mean you get to travel and have things like this…” She waved her hand around at the gala going on around them. “Is that what you mean?”
“Well that part isn’t so much important to me.” Felix answered honestly. “I was really unhappy in my life and I didn’t understand why anyone would or could love me.” He wondered how much to say but he felt like there was more to this conversation then he understood so he was as honest as he could be. “Meeting them and being in their minds and hearts let me see how they really felt about me and helped me to see that I deserved to love myself and I was more important than I thought I was. Meeting them has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t care about the money or fame or travel, honestly it makes me a little uncomfortable but the guys are so worth all of it.”
She paused and then nodded. “I like you.” She finally said. “We think we can trust you. We just wanted to meet you and get a feel for you first.”
“We?” Felix asked. She gave him the first relaxed smile she had given and tapped her temple. “Oh!!!” Felix finally realized what this was all about. He thought back remembering how all the girls had looked at him at the same time. Jennie was connected as well. That made so much sense now. Changbin and Hyunjin relaxed knowing he was safe. “How many?”
“Four.” His eyes widened at that and she grinned a bit before she got serious again. “We wanted to get to know you a bit first before we told you. We had to know if we could trust you. Its always such a risk. But they trust you, and Chris does as well. Hongjoong speaks highly of you. You have made more friends than you know.” She said and smiled. “You really are every bit as sweet as you appear.”
“Yes he is.” Hyunjin answered her, taking a seat next to Felix. “He is everything.” Felix looked at him, his expression full of love.
“You are everything, Jinnie.” Felix said. “You brought me to life.”
“Nuna, thank you for being sweet to Lixie.” Hyunjin told her.
Jennie nodded. “Give him my number, we can talk. And Jinnie?” He looked up questioningly. “Talk to Yeji. She might have some information for you. I will tell her you will be reaching out.” Hyunjin looked confused but nodded. She turned back to Felix. “It was really nice to meet you Felix. We are all looking forward to getting to know you better and Sooya says she can’t wait to chat with you in person. She also thinks we should all meet up when you return home. She has some ideas.”
“That would be great.” Felix answered seeing in Hyunjin’s head an image of another woman who was apparently the Sooya she referenced as she stood with a smile.
“Good.” She answered and patted Hyunjin on the shoulder. “I’ll see you guys later.” She moved on to other groups and smiled as she greeted them.
Changbin smiled as he came over and took a seat with them. “What was the thing about Yeji?”
Hyunjin shrugged. “I don’t know. I would text her now but our phones are confiscated here.”
“When we get to the hotel?” Felix asked and Hyunjin nodded.
“I’m curious.” Hyunjin admitted.
“Who is Yeji?” Felix finally asked.
“A friend of mine. She is in another group and she and I got close during our training.” Memories of the two of them dancing and laughing together went through his head. Felix was particularly touched by one where Hyunjin crying to the woman after being told he wasn’t a good dancer and he should just rely on his looks. Felix was especially happy that she had comforted him and told him he was a good dancer and hard worker and what he lacked in training, he had naturally in talent.
“She looks so sweet. I love how she took care of you.” Felix said. “But now is not the time. Let’s deal with that when we get to the hotel. For now it's important for us to be here and make an impression. You guys are the first kpop group to be invited in total so let's make sure we leave a great impression.”
Felix made a point of talking to many there and was introduced to a man named Nicholas Ghesquiere who was the artistic director of Louis Vuitton and they had a wonderful conversation where they discussed wearing fashion regardless of gender. Felix shared his willingness to wear any fashion he liked without worrying about who it was supposedly made for. The conversation was stimulating and allowed him to truly explore and express things he hadn’t really thought about or at least hadn’t expressed. The man seemed very taken with Felix and invited him to one of the LV fashion shows. Felix smiled and thanked the man.
He met Anna Wintour and was as polite as he could be. She gave him a nod of approval and moved on. She was intimidating as hell but he felt like he was handling the situation better than he had thought himself capable. He was actually proud of himself. By the time they got back to the hotel that night Felix felt like he was flying with excitement. He danced around the room happily, his connected looking on with bemused smiles. Hyunjin texted Yeji. There was a long delay and then she called him.
“Hey Yeji. Uh Jennie said I should talk to you?”
“Yeah…hey Jin, um…she called me an hour or so ago. She said she met your Felix and talked about how sweet he was.”
Hyunjin was confused by what was happening. “Yeah, he is…’ He said. “Why did she tell me I should talk to you?”
“Um…well…”She hesitated. “When you get home, why don’t you and Bin bring Felix over. I have someone to introduce you to.” She finally said.
“Oh…um ok. Yeah we can do that.”
“Good. Ok well um…I’ll talk to you later.” She said awkwardly and hung up without waiting on a response.
“That was weird.” Changbin said. Hyunjin nodded thoughtfully.
“It was. That was very unlike her. I wonder who she wants us to meet and why.”
“Me too.” Binnie said and looked over to see Felix had finally passed out asleep. They both looked at their connected with affection. “He really is something special isn’t he?”
“Yeah.” Hyunjin said with a smile. “He was our missing link. The whole group. I want him to join us as a group, not just as our connected but as a member of Stray Kids.”
“I do too. Chan Hyung, Sungie and I discussed it. We have so many ideas how we want to expand our music with his voice but we won’t do it without his asking to join.”
“Yeah. I won’t make any moves unless he asks for them. You know he would do it just to make us happy if we mentioned it.”
“I know.” Changbin said putting an arm around Hyunjin and kissing his forehead. “We only talk about it when I’m sure Felix is sleeping. I don’t want to pressure him in any way. Not ever. He has spent his life trying to be what everyone else wants him to be, I don’t want him to do that with us.”
Hyunjin cuddled up to him as they both watched the sleeping elfin man curled up on the bed, cuddling up to a pillow. “He is so much. He is everything.” Changbin nodded. “We will do whatever we need to in order for him to be happy.”
“Yeah. We will.” Changbin agreed and the two settled in to quietly watch him sleep.
Chapter 33: Chapter 33
Summary:
The rest of the America trip and Felix is feeling the struggle between his non idol life and his connected. He finds a solution in an unexpected place.
Notes:
A/N Hello my lovelies! Here is chapter 33. This one is all thanks to my Sissy who never stops reminding me she needs more BinJinBok in her life. Thank you for always supporting me Sissy. I love you. I cross post between AO3 and Wattpad and this story doesn't have my permission to be posted anywhere else. This story is fiction and just came as a loosely inspired idea from the Netflix show Sense8. If you like what I write please let me know. If you want to be alerted when I update anything or if you want to chat, you can follow me on X at _eyes_wideshut. I hope you enjoy.
Chapter Text
The rest of their trip in America flowed by over a couple weeks. They did a morning show performance and filmed a music video and did various appearances. Felix was there for most but he also stayed in the hotel to work a couple times a week. He was falling behind at work and it was really beginning to stress him out. His boss was understanding and supportive but he felt like he was letting down his team. It was really weighing on his heart that he didn’t feel like he was the best employee he could be. He was beginning to think that he may need to talk to his connected and the managers of the group to see what his possible options were. He hadn’t talked to Binnie or Hyunjin about it but he knew they were paying attention to his thoughts. He wasn’t getting anything from Binnie about it but Hyunjin was occasionally having his thoughts leak. He felt guilty for taking Felix away from his life and keeping him so busy and he was filled with ideas about what Felix could do instead. He tried not to focus on them but he couldn’t keep all the thoughts at bay and he never verbalized it to Felix, allowing him the space to figure it out or to come to them for help.
On Sunday morning, the day they were to head back to Korea, he woke early and headed down to the restaurant to get some green tea before packing up. He was surprised to see Jeongin sitting there drinking coffee and eating eggs. He headed over and took a seat at the table with the group maknae. “Morning hyung.” Jeongin said with a grin. “Hungry?” Felix shrugged and Innie’s smile faltered slightly before firming back up. “You should eat. The french toast is really good. Pancakes too.”
Felix smiled. They were always trying to feed him. “I’m ok. I just came for some tea.”
“You should eat Lix. You aren’t eating enough. Are you stressed about something?” He cocked his head and looked at Felix. He waited as Felix ordered his green tea and let the older man collect his thoughts. He stayed quiet; waiting as the tea was delivered and letting Felix take a sip.
“I’m worried about my job.” Felix admitted softly. Jeongin just nodded for him to continue. “I love what I do but I am realizing that being on you guys schedules is making it really hard to put in the time I need to in order to be effective at my job. I’m feeling like I might need to do something about that but I don’t know what to do. My job is being understanding about it but it's still just not seeming to work. It was ok in Korea but not when we travel. But I also can’t stay home and be away from them for any longer period of time. It scares me to think about. I want to talk to Bin and Jin but they are feeling guilty and it just makes me feel bad.” He took a deep breath. “I’m just stressing.” He finally admitted and fell silent.
Jeongin took his last bite of eggs and pushed his plate away and leaned onto the table. “Lixie, I know you love your job but why are you not talking to us about this? Your stresses are just as important as ours. You know hyungs can both feel all the anxiety you are feeling. If you aren’t talking about it you are just stressing everyone out.” He said calmly.
“But what can I do?” Felix asked.
“I don’t know but you don’t have to decide today. Just talk to the group.”
“I don’t want to live off them. That's not who I am. I’m worried fans will resent me over it or people will say I am here just to take from you all.”
“We don’t feel that way.” Seungmin said, taking a seat with them and signaling the waitress for some coffee before turning back to Felix. “We would take care of you far more if you would let us. I can’t say I don't care what others say because that's hard enough for us and I get that it would be impossible for you. But we can’t help if you aren’t talking to us about it. Instead you have been exhausting yourself trying to be everything for everyone from us to the managers to your job. You aren’t sleeping well, you aren’t eating much and we all have noticed.”
Felix looked up in shock. No one had said anything to him and his connected just occasionally thought about how hungry he was and would gently suggest he eat something or Hyunjin would ask him to eat before a performance so that his hunger didn’t affect their stage. He hadn’t even really thought about it. They didn’t focus on it so he didn’t realize everyone was aware of his struggle. He was ashamed that he had drawn negative attention. {C- not negative beautiful, we just worry, thats all.} {F- But I don’t want to be just another thing you have to worry about.} {H- You aren’t, angel. You are someone we want to worry about. It means you are important to us. You aren’t just another thing; you are our family.}
“I’m guessing he is of three minds about it.” Jeongin teased. “Lix, you are one of us. We all worry about each other. We worry if Channie hyung is sleeping, if Seungmin hyung is pushing himself too hard, if Bin hyung is being hurt by the comments and jokes online about his weight. We worry if Hyunjin hyung thinks we only care about his appearance. We worry if Min hyung thinks we think he is cold and mean. We worry if Han hyung is letting his inner demons take over. It's what family does, we worry about each other and you are family to us. We are allowed to worry about you and help you get past what you worry about.”
Felix thought about it and nodded. He couldn’t say he would stop worrying but he could try to remember this when he was afraid or worried. “I’ll talk to everyone. Thank you both.” He said with a smile at them.
“Good, now please eat something.” Seungmin said. “I want eggs. You want some?” Felix bit his lip and then nodded. “Good.” He ordered for them both and took a sip of his coffee.
The three settled into a more general conversation. The others appeared one by one and took their own seats and ordered their own breakfasts. The group ate together and Felix let the warmth and love help him to be settled. He ate what he could and noticed them relax as he did. He told them of his fears about his job and everyone just listened and reassured him they would think of some ideas. Finally they headed to get ready to head home.
The day after they got home Hyunjin and Changbin took Felix to meet Yeji. She let them into her dorm and offered them water. Felix looked at the beautiful Korean woman and smiled. “So you are Jinnie’s yeodongsaeng?”
“Yes.” She said with a smile. A younger Japanese woman carried in a tray with some bottles of water and passed them out. Felix could tell the other men vaguely recognized the woman as an assistant of Yeji. He smiled at her.
“Hey. I’m Felix. Nice to meet you.” He told the girl who glanced over at Yeji and then gave him a small smile.
“Oppas, this is Hoshiko. She is my personal concierge. She makes sure I have what I need. Well all of us, not just me. I wanted you all to actually meet her and I wanted to meet Felix.” She turned to the Aussie. “I’m Yeji, and Jinnie is one of my best friends.”
“I know.” Felix told her with a smile. “I have seen you in his thoughts and memories.” He blushed. “I know that probably seems weird to a non connected but there are few people they know and care about that I haven’t at least seen fleetingly in their thoughts.” Hoshiko laughed slightly. He turned to her and smiled though he didn’t understand her laugh.
Yeji stepped in. “Actually it makes total sense.” She said. “Hoshiko is not just our concierge. She is also my connected.” With that bombshell dropped she sat back and sipped her water with a small smile.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Hyunjin asked in hurt.
“Oppa, I have only told the girls in the group. My parents don’t even know. Kiko and I decided we wanted to keep it quiet, especially because she isn’t an idol and I didn’t want her in the spotlight. Both of our parents know we are a couple and that is it.”
“We’ve seen her assisting you and thought she was just staff.” Changbin said thoughtfully.
“That's what we wanted everyone to think.” Hoshiko said.
“How did you meet?” Felix asked excitedly.
“I worked at a hotel they were booked at. I brought her room service.” She laughed. “It was my last delivery of the night. I ended up clocking out and came back to spend the night talking.”
“We were in Japan for a show for a weekend and that was the first night. When we went home she and I got sick. She came to see me and security wouldn’t let her in. I was pissed and immediately called them and told them to let her in. We realized being apart wasn’t much of an option. Ryu came up with the suggestion.”
Felix sat forward excitedly. “So what do you do?”
“I go ahead of them to set things up when they go somewhere. For example I arrive at the airport first to expedite them getting through security and to set up everything. Then when we arrive where they are going, I go to the hotel while they start their schedules to set up their rooms the way they like them and set up their green room and make sure their mics and earpieces are labeled correctly. When they are home I do the same thing on a lesser scale. I order their food or keep them on their schedules, order their groceries etc. I organize things for them.”
“And it's a full time paid position?” Felix asked intently.
“Yes. It keeps them comfortable and happy. I don’t make massive amounts or anything. I’m paid what any staffer would be but it keeps me close to unnie.”
“And JYP agreed to hire her?” Changbin asked.
“Yeah, he actually didn’t put up a fuss at all. It kind of surprised all of us.” Yeji answered.
“I bet he knows.” Hyunjin said.
“Yeah.” Changbin agreed.
“What do you mean he knows?” Yeji asked in concern.
They started to tell her about their dealings with JYP without revealing his connection to his wife. They told the couple about how supportive JYP had been about their connection and the strings he had pulled for Felix. They told about their story, how they had met and how they got to where they are. Felix told the women about how scared he was about work and needing to be with his connected but also needing to be earning his own way. He could see Hoshiko relating to what he was saying.
They talked until dinner and Hoshiko ordered food for them all. They ate as they continued talking. By the time they said goodnight and headed back to their dorm, Felix was filled with hope. He had a new friend in Hoshiko who could related to exactly what he was going through. Just a regular person thrust into the idol life. They had exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. He had a path forward he could take and his connected were relieved to have an answer. They sent a message to the group chat and told them they had a potential solution they wanted to discuss with everyone. Chan scheduled a group meeting the next night after their schedules for the day. Felix worked the next day, not wanting to say anything to his boss until he discussed it with the whole group first.
That night everyone came over, Minho had come early and cooked up a large pot of army stew for all of them. Felix helped him to chop the ingredients and set the table. Once everyone arrived and got their own bowls, the trio began telling about the prior night. Once they went through the options, they waited for a response. “So she works as staff in the background. Do we know her?” Chan asked.
“Yeah. She is always there. We just didn’t pay her much attention because we thought she was just staff.” Binnie said and described her. “She was brought on originally as a Japanese tutor and then her role expanded to this.”
“How do you feel about this Felix?” Han asked.
“I am…” Felix thought about it. “I think I really like this idea. It would mean I would be independent and earning my own money but still be involved in your lives. I really worried about how the fans will see me and think I am just using you all for my own gain. This gives me every reason to be there with you but with an actual role. I wouldn’t do this without all of you agreeing but to me it feels like a great solution.”
“I’m in.” Minho said. “I think it is a perfect way to have Felix with us and gives Felix his own autonomy.”
“What about when we have separate schedules?” Chan asked. “Like when Hyunjin goes to one of his fashion events.”
“He could pick whether to go with Hyunjin or stay with me.” Changbin said. “As long as he is with one of us, and the three of us aren’t separated for long periods of time we can handle it.”
Chan nodded. “Then I agree.”
“I vote yes.” Jisung said. “Whatever makes it easier for Lix.”
“Yes.” Seungmin said. “Sounds like a great solution.”
“Ok so how do we do this?” Hyunjin asked.
“I can give my notice at work tomorrow and we should probably talk to JYP. He can help smooth over any hurdles.” Felix suggested.
“I’ll call him tonight.” Chan offered. “I will tell him what we have discussed.”
“Not about Yeji being connected.” Changbin said. “We think he knows but it isn’t our secret to tell.”
“I wouldn’t do that, Bin.” Chan reassured him. “But I think you are right. I think he does know.”
Felix felt lighter than he had in weeks. They had a plan and his new family was doing all that they could to protect him, even from himself. His connected valued him and wanted him happy and healthy and so did the others in the group, his chosen family. He had a new excitement to get started.
Chapter 34: Chapter 34
Summary:
Felix finding out how his new job is going to work out and a few conversations.
Notes:
Hello my lovelies. Here is the newest. As always I do not know or own SKZ or any celebrity mentioned thought I do own previously mentioned OCs like Kiko and Vanessa. I make no money from my writings, wouldn't that be a dream come true for a writer? One day Vanessa's story will be published for real but today is not that day. So please don't steal my writings or sue me lol. I do not grant permission for this story to be published by anyone other than myself and I only cross post between here and wattpad. If you see my writings anywhere else please let me know. If you like what I write, please let me know. If you want to be alerted when I post any of my writings you can follow me on x at _eyes_wideshut
Chapter Text
Felix clocked in and worked his shift the next morning. He scheduled a meeting with his boss to discuss his resignation with the company after he got the all clear from Chan. His boss took the news well. She was sorry to lose him but understood this was what he needed. They negotiated to pay his vacation on the final checks to give him some cushion and negotiated what his final day would be. By the time he clocked out he was exhausted but relieved. Hoshiko had sent him a message inviting him to have dinner with her and he went with the blessing of his connected. She had picked a quiet place between their dorms and was already waiting when he arrived. He gave her a hug without thinking about it and then blushed when she looked taken aback. He suddenly remembered a random thought Jinnie had had while in Japan once that hugging was not as common there. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He apologized softly. “I’m a hugger and I forget that isn’t common everywhere. I apologize.”
Kiko smiled softly at him. “It’s ok. I just wasn’t expecting it but you don’t have to apologize.” They took their seats and ordered their food. The warm tea he was brought was so comforting, Felix loved it. Finally she looked at him and leaned forward onto the table to give him her full attention. “I thought it might be best for the two of us to just discuss more about how I go about doing my job so you could kind of jump in and start to get ideas for where you will do things with your own group and also so that you may ask any questions you have.”
“I appreciate that. I am very interested in hearing more and have gotten the green light to take the position for Stray Kids and have given my notice at work.”
“That's wonderful! I hope it has relieved some of the stress.” She looked down almost shyly. “I completely understood what you meant when you said you didn’t want to live off them. You want to be a part of their life but your own person. That can be hard when the spotlight shines so brightly on them. This job helps a lot.”
“I can see that. So tell me in a bit more detail if you can, what a typical day looks like for you.” Felix asked with interest.
“Well that really depends if they are out on the road or at shows or if it is a schedule at the company day. For a company day; I wake up first and the night before I have organized when they need to be up for their various things. I order or make or get their breakfast, whatever their preference is, prepare the bathroom for them like make sure they have towels and what they need; I don’t clean for them or anything but just set things up for them and then wake them at their own time. While one is getting ready, I move on to the next etc. It takes getting to know the members and how they like their mornings to go. Like does one person need more time to wake up, in which case you wake them before they need to be up so they have that time. Does that make sense?” Felix nodded that he understood what she meant.
“So because Binnie takes a bit longer, I would wake him a bit earlier so that he arrives on time, that makes sense.” {H- So he can actually be on time??} {C- I’m not that bad…I just love long showers.} Felix hid his smile but could hear the other two laughing at the conversation. Kiko nodded that yes that was what she had meant.
“Exactly. Once everyone is up, it really depends on their schedules. If they have classes or dance practice or recording; I tend to be in and out. So I will handle things like picking up groceries, making food, handling dry cleaning and setting up future travel arrangements with management, coordinating outfit requests with the stylists. Like for example if someone wore something that just didn’t sit right with them, I will organize a change for them. If we are going out of the country soon, I could be helping to arrange their hotel rooms on the floors they like. Management used to do it but they have learned to trust me. I work with the company to figure out what hotels or airports and then I make my own calls to make sure everything is set up for them; like if someone prefers a certain type of sheet or if they have an allergy that we need to be wary of. So essentially the company sets up the actual hotel or flight and then I make the individual arrangements for each member.”
“That's so cool! And you said you will be in and out?”
“Yes, most of my work is done on my phone or laptop for those type calls and details so I will bring them their favorite drink or bring lunch in between or arrange rides to take them to their next location. The company actually gives my number when setting up interviews so they call me to figure out the details other than just the date. I’m the one most familiar. Additionally I keep a calendar of the members going for the company so they know what each one is doing and when.”
Their food arrived and they each took a few minutes to enjoy it before jumping back in. “If it is an interview day, I stay on hand. I want to be sure if anything is needed I am there to help.”
“Would you do anything during an interview like set up questions?” Felix asked curiously.
“No, those are handled by the company and they have the approval but I’m there in case a member needs anything or just to be on hand. Our connected are most relaxed when we are close by so it helps her.” She shrugged and Felix nodded, he understood. “I try to be equally there for all the members even though there is only one who doesn’t need to ask for things. It means you will really have to get to know the others so that you can anticipate their needs just as well.” She warned.
“Yeah, I can imagine.” Felix nodded.
“On show days, I head to the venue about an hour before them to set up their green room and make sure everything is the way they like it. Like make sure their drinks are cold or hot accordingly or test their mics and make sure they are labeled correctly and matched to their earpieces. I make sure they have whatever meal; if any, they want for the show so that when they arrive for sound check they are ready to go. During the show, I am setting out their next outfit and helping to do changes, handle any problems like tears in the costume, making sure the stylists are aware. Making sure they have a place to clean up after and touching up any makeup if needed. Again it is really about knowing each member and their preferences. When the show ends I usually head back to either the dorm or hotel to prepare for their arrival.”
“What about flights?” Felix asked. “You mentioned that before.”
“Yes, I go to the airport about an hour beforehand to go over security and make them aware of arrival times and try to make their process as smooth as possible.”
“How do you do that without letting them know you are connected?” He asked.
She grinned. “I wear an earpiece and they think I am on the phone with the group.” She winked and Felix laughed. “I like to stay out of the spotlight so I am usually one step ahead of the group. Like when they are pulling up, I’m at the check in desk to make sure they don’t have to wait in line then as they move inside, I’m moving to security to prepare them for that. I have done it all in advance but it's more like the hour before they arrive I am saying they will need a line just for them and setting it up and then after they arrive I am going to each place to make sure it is ready just saying ok they are on their way over. Does that make sense?” Felix nodded, completely fascinated.
“When we arrive at a destination, I am usually with the crew that goes first to their hotel and I get the groups keys and arrange whatever security is there and set up their rooms if I have time. The rooms are usually already set up by the phone calls and plans I have already made so it's really just checking to make sure nothing has been missed or making any restaurant reservations they are wanting. I want to be in the background as much as possible so I am rarely with them when they eat out. For you, that may be different. Much of this may be different for you. I know from unnie that your two connected may not always be in the same place so there will be times you are separated but because the world knows you are connected, you don’t have to stay as in the background as I do. That, I imagine, will be both a blessing and a curse for you.” Felix nodded.
“Yes, I think it will be both.”
They talked for a couple hours and she gave Felix ideas for how to organize things and how to start making lists of their preferences so that he could learn to anticipate needs and wants by all the members and not just his connected. It would even help because he would have what they needed already instead of hearing a thought and having to run to the store to get what they wanted. It was eye opening how much she did in the background to make their lives easier. That made Felix feel good to know that he would be bringing a sense of peace into the chaos of their lives.
That very night he began making lists of their likes, sometimes asking but often he just observed. Over the next few weeks he paid careful attention to who needed longer to wake up; who needed coffee before their shower or after, who liked what drink and when. He made detailed lists and time tables to keep track. He learned that Minho preferred to cook for the group when possible and began to check for the ingredients he liked to have on hand and would make a grocery run to stock up. He learned Jisung’s anxiety signs and began pulling him away for some one on one fun or relaxation when it was getting to be too much. His confidence grew as he noticed the members relaxing at the little changes he made that made life easier. He made a mug of chrysanthemum tea for Chan and brought it to him in his room. His hyung smiled at him.
“Trying to tell me it's bedtime?” He asked with amusement. Felix smiled.
“You don’t sleep enough hyung. I wanted to help.”
“Thank you Felix.” Chan said with sincerity. Felix grinned at him.
“Try to go to sleep when it kicks in. It's already past midnight.” Felix told him over his shoulder as he left.
He headed into the bedroom he shared with his two lovers and crawled into bed next to Hyunjin, kissing his shoulder gently as he slept. He laid awake just thinking over the changes in his life and the happiness that surrounded him now. If being with Jacob had led him to this moment, then it had been worth it. Without Jacob, he never would have seen Hyunjin because he wouldn’t have been at the mall. He wouldn’t have met his amazing family in these men and found purpose in life beyond a quiet life. With a smile he fell asleep.
The next afternoon, he was submitting his updates to their schedules to Div 1 when Seungmin went live. He joined the live. When some fans began asking him to sing or when his next SKZ player was going to be released, Felix typed a quick `Seungmin’s voice is angelic’ and Seungmin saw him in the chat and laughed. He spoke up. “Hyung, come here!” Felix laughed and typed ‘what? Do u need coffee? 😀’ He didn’t wait for a response and grabbed Seungmin’s favorite iced coffee from the fridge and headed into the other’s room. As soon as he entered, Seungmin waved him to join. He began explaining how Felix was helping them and had joined their staff. Felix handed him the coffee and then hugged him and sat and chatted for a couple minutes with both his brother and the fans in the chat. He didn’t stay long and waved to the camera as he left.
He was still grinning as he answered a call from Vanessa. “Hey you! I missed you.” He told her. They spent some time catching up and Vanessa told him that as a birthday gift Arnie was bringing her to Korea to visit Felix. He was overjoyed by the idea. They made a few plans and he cleared the time they were wanting to visit. He told her all about his new job and caught her up on all that had happened. She caught him up on what her and Arny had been up to lately. Apparently she had gone to visit his parents as well and his mother was going to send her with some goodies for Felix and the others. “Thank you for visiting them. I know that must have meant a lot to mom.”
“She’s so wonderful.” Vanessa gushed. “I just adore her.” Felix grinned in total understanding. “So you are liking this new position?”
“Yeah, it means I am right there with them but I don’t have to hide in the background. I’m still getting used to it though. In fact I need to run to the store, I noticed Chris is running low on the rice he likes and Minho needs more pudding.”
“Ok, well I will talk to you later then. And I’ll call when I finalize the hotel for our visit.”
“Sounds good, I can’t wait to see you guys.” Felix said with a grin and then hung up and grabbing his wallet he headed for the door only to stop when he opened it to find the head of the company about to knock. “Oh. Park-nim. Come in.” He bowed respectfully and stepped back to allow the man in.
“Hello, Felix-ssi. I won’t be long, I just wanted to give you this.” The man handed him a credit card. “You will need this for the purchases for the group when it is for business related expenses. While we will mostly be setting those up, because you are handling their business and schedules, I wanted to make sure you had a card yourself. It should only be used for things like hotels or rides, flights etc for them. Anything they would pay for personally, this would not be used.”
“I understand sir. Thank you sir.” Felix said as he took the card and tucked it into his wallet.
Park Jin-Young smiled at him and patted his shoulder. “You are doing a great job, Felix-ssi. I love how organized you are for their schedules. Once Div1 sees what I already see, they will trust you to do more and more for the boys which knowing this group, will help them relax and be even more creative. I think this was a wonderful idea and change for all involved.”
Felix smiled at the man. “Thank you sir. I am really enjoying the freedom and the challenge this job change has brought and along with it, I love knowing that I can be more a part of their world.” He looked down before looking back up. “You know how hard it is to be away from our connected.”
Park Jin-Young gave him a wry smile. “Indeed I do. I’m happy you have found a solution.” He winked and quietly left.
Felix with a bemused smile slipped his wallet back into his pocket and left for the store.
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