Chapter Text
"I'd Come For You"
Nickelback
Thor to Loki
Just One more moment, that's all that's needed.
Like wounded soldiers in need of healing.
Time to be honest, this time I'm pleading
Please don't dwell on it, cause I didn't mean it.
I can’t believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground
But it doesn't matter cause I've made it up forgive me now
Everyday I spend away my soul's inside out
Gotta be some way that I can make it up to you now, somehow.
By now you'd know that I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you.
I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing
My mind was closing, now I'm believing
I finally know just what it means to let someone in
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will
So if you're ever lost and find yourself all alone
I'd search forever just to bring you home,
Here and now this I vow.
By now you'd know that I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you
You know I'd always come for you.
No matter what gets in my way
As long as there's still life in me
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you.
Yes I'd come for you, no one but you,
Yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to.
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you.
No matter what gets in my way
As long as there's still life in me
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you
I'd crawl across this world for you
Do anything you want me to
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you
You know I'll always come for you.
Loki to Thor
"Call Me When You're Sober"
Evanescence
Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.
Should I let you fall?
Lose it all?
So maybe you can remember yourself.
Can't keep believing,
We're only deceiving ourselves .
And I'm sick of the lie,
And you're too late.
Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.
Couldn't take the blame.
Sick with shame.
Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated,
No wonder you're jaded.
You can't play the victim this time,
And you're too late.
Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.
You never call me when you're sober.
You only want it cause it's over,
It's over.
How could I have burned paradise?
How could I - you were never mine.
So don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don't lie to me,
Just get your things.
I've made up your mind.
together
"Spectrum" by Zedd
(feat. Matthew Koma)
Breathing you in when I want you out
Finding our truth in a hope of doubt
Lying inside our quiet drama
Wearing your heart like a stolen dream
Opening skies with your broken keys
No one can blind us any longer
We'll run where lights won't chase us
Hide where love can save us
I will never let you go
We'll run where lights won't chase us
Hide where love can save us
I will never let you go
Breathing you in when I want you out
Finding our truth in a hope of doubt
Lying inside our quiet drama
[Long back-beat]
Breathing you in when I want you out
Finding our truth in a hope of doubt
Lying inside our quiet drama
Wearing your heart like a stolen dream
Opening skies with your broken keys
No one can blind us any longer
We'll run where lights won't chase us
Hide where love can save us
I will never let you go
We'll run where lights won't chase us
Hide where love can save us
I will never let you go
We'll run where lights won't chase us
Hide where love can save us
I will never let you go
[Long back-beat]
Breathing you in when I want you out
Finding our truth in a hope of doubt
Lying inside our quiet drama
1
“Loki, please! I’m trying to understand, Brother. I love you, Loki. I don’t care if you’re Jotunn or Aesir, mage or warrior, prince or traitor. I just want you back. I miss you. I need you; your wit, your wisdom, your selfless dedication to keeping me on the right path, safe and well. Even your pranks and tricks. Life is so empty without you in it.”
“You left me there, Thor, lying in the dirt and ash of a dead world. All alone in the cold and dark. Again. Just like the first time. Did you even know or care that it was you I cried out for in my fear and pain? I called for you to save me, to protect me, as you promised you always would, but you never came. Not then and not this last time. And yet, you accuse me of insincerity.”
“I thought I had truly lost you, brother! You died in my arms, Loki! I felt your heart stop! It was even worse than when you... when you fell. At least then, I could hope. And... and I had to go back. Malekith...”
“Oh, don’t blame that poor excuse of a sorcerer, brother. You left because of that mewling little mortal. She was more important to you. Why is everyone else always more important? You claim to love me, but it never shows in your actions, Thor. And you should know how much reliability, how much faith I place in mere words.”
Totally crushed by the vitriol spat at him by the green-eyed mage, the Thunderer collapsed to his knees. Eyes down, he shuddered a sobbing sigh. Loki was right, as always. He did spend too much time protecting and caring for others. But he’d always assumed Loki would be there, at his side, watching his back, just like when they were mere lads.
Spite glittering in his icy gaze, the Trickster watched his erstwhile brother collapse to the floor. He felt no pity at all for the god of Thunder; Thor deserved every bit of pain he was now experiencing. He’d taken a year just to come visit the ‘brother’ he claimed to love so much.
Now he’d probably only come because he needed Loki’s abilities, his quick and devious mind, his seidr, his glib tongue. Mischief wondered what sort of dilemma faced the Realm that the Thunderer and his cadre of muscle-bound idiots couldn’t simply smash into compliance.
Supercilious sneer on his face, Loki watched the Crown Prince sniffle and crawl right up to the invisible barrier that kept him caged. When Thor lifted a tear-stained face and placed his hand against the energy wall, the Jotunn snickered. He leaned down to get closer and hissed at the blond god.
“What is it this time, Brother ? Why do you need me to solve whatever crisis faces you? Eh? I know you’ve not come just to see how I fare, if I might have need of something not provided by your so thoughtful father.”
“Father is ill, Loki. Tired from loss and all his years of rule. He’s not been the same since... since we lost Mother. He wants me to take the crown. Become King. I don’t think I’m ready.”
Thor looked up to see surprise on his little brother’s face. Then Loki’s eyes narrowed and that look Thor hated appeared. Cold, calculating, suspicious.
“So? What has the old goat’s health to do with me? Take the throne; it’s what you’ve always wanted. Expected, really. Just leave me here to rot in peace. I do not need to see what happens next.” Loki paced back and forth, hands clasped behind his back. Then he whirled around to face Thor once more. “ And I no longer care whether you’re ready or not.”
Loki stalked across his cell and threw himself down on the cot. Hands behind his head, ankles crossed, he snarled at the other. “Perhaps you might send me a book or two, once in a while. If you’re feeling magnanimous. I’ve decided it’s not so bad here. No responsibilities. Quiet, plenty of time to think. I don’t have to listen to those fools cawing about their great exploits, extolling their virtues, denigrating me for being different. I quite like it.”
Thor sat with a sigh, his back against the barrier. It was as close as he could get to where Loki lay without turning off the wall of energy. That was what he truly wanted; to be able to touch, nay, shake some sense into his brother.
Not that it had ever worked well in the past. Such action was just as likely to make the Jotunn even angrier and more resentful, Thor remembered. Loki was as stubborn as Thor when it came to changing his mind or dissuading him from some course of action.
He tended to react rather sharply and not just with his words. Thor snorted quietly, reminiscing. He’d long ago lost count of how many times Loki had stabbed him as a result of being manhandled in an argument. Never life-threatening, always painful, It was the slighter god’s way of reminding his big brother he was as much a warrior, as dangerous as Thor. Just sneakier.
Thor thought to himself doing some recollecting aloud might soften his Mischief’s attitude. If he only mentioned incidents wherein Loki had triumphed, perhaps Thor might get him to actually listen. He sighed once more, believing it could not make their relationship worse than the way things now stood.
“You and your books! I never realised how useful they could be. Do you remember the time you first learned that transformation spell?” Thor sat quietly for a moment, listening. When he heard the mage snort softly, he grinned to himself.
“First thing you did was turn me into a frog ‘cause I annoyed you while you were practising.” Thor chuckled, “If not for Mother coming to get us for dinner, you’d have probably left me like that.”
“Mmmm, you’d have enjoyed a sumptuous meal, Thor. Flies, ants, waterbugs, even a dragonfly if you were fast enough.” Loki snickered. “Better than that overcooked boar we were served.”
“Yuck!” Thor shuddered. “Still, a dip in the pond would have been better than the hours I spent squished in your pocket! It was dark and dry and... and linty!”
Loki actually laughed out loud. “You’re just lucky Mother heard you croaking. Otherwise, you might have spent days like that. I recall it took me several before I figured out how to reverse it.”
“She found it amusing enough that she refused to let Father punish you. She said I deserved it, that you could have done worse, or even hurt yourself. It was a valuable lesson for us both.”
“Indeed. Too bad it didn’t teach you to think before trying something foolish.”
“You mean like picking up an unrecognised snake, little brother?” Thor had to smile. “That was your second attempt, was it not?”
“No, big brother. I’d been practising for weeks. But, since I couldn’t get close enough to your idiotic friends, I took a chance on you. I was tired of you all laughing at me, and I knew how much you loved snakes.”
Thor felt a small thrill at Loki’s response. He was talking, actually answering Thor without snarling at him. The Thunderer had heard the cot creak as his brother rolled onto his side to face the barrier, and Thor. He was afraid to turn and even glance in the Jotunn’s direction, so as not to spook him.
“You know, you startled me so badly when you became yourself in my arms, you didn’t really need to poke me with your little knife.” Thor snickered, “I almost pissed myself.”
“It was the most fun I’d had in days. You should have seen your face, Thor!” Loki laughed, again. “I laughed so hard, even after you dropped me!”
“Yeah, good thing you are as nimble as you are. I would have beaten you, if I had caught you.” Thor chuckled. “Never saw you climb a tree so fast!”
He sighed, once more. “You got really good with a blade not long after that. Never could figure out how. Tyr said you could hardly lift a practice one in training.”
“That’s because those things weigh too much. They’re only designed to build muscle, not to make you fast or accurate. I found a lighter sword to work with and a different way of using it.”
“Who trained you, then? You stopped coming to practise with the rest of us!” Thor was really curious. No one had seen Loki for months on the training grounds, and one day, he just showed up and won every bout he fought. Nor had the sword he used come from any smithy Thor knew of. It was long and slender with a jewel of dark red capping the silver embossed pommel.
“Who do you think, fool? Remember that big clod Tyr used to throw at me every time he wanted to embarrass me? Gunther or something, wasn’t it? Thought he’d rile me up, by saying I fight like a girl?” Loki scoffed. “Well, he didn’t find it so funny with his face in the dirt, did he?”
“Not Sif? She hates you, and besides, she fights like the rest of us,” Thor questioned.
“Are you really still so blind, Thunderer? It was Mother. Have you forgotten she was trained by the Valkirior? She was as much a warrior as Sif could ever hope to be!” Loki’s defence of Frigga was instant and fierce. And she had been just as protective of him.
“You always were her favourite, Brother. Since the day Father brought you home. Did you know she told me you were mine? To cherish and protect? I was a fool to forget that.”
“Did she? Hmm.” Loki sighed. “Well, you were ever one to do as you pleased, no matter the consequences. Always playing at being the big, brave, strong warrior. The hero everyone looked up to.”
“Everyone but you, Loki. You saw through me. I think that annoyed me more than your tricks and the pranks you played on me. I never could fool you.”
“That’s because I’m smarter than you. I think before I act. Something I hope you’ll outgrow someday,” the younger god sneered.
“That’s exactly why I need you!” Thor exclaimed. “You always have a plan, an answer and you see things so clearly. Even if your explanations don’t always make sense to me, I know you have good reason for them.”
“If only I could get you to listen once in a while,” Loki started.
“Oh, I will, Brother! From now on,” Thor promised. “I am listening!” He finally turned to face Loki. “I swear it, Brother! On whatever you want!”
The mage’s face reflected his disbelief. “You’ve made me promises before, Thunderer. This time I want a true oath. Swear on... on Mother’s memory, Thor. You will listen and follow my advice. With no complaints and no protests, no limitations or stipulations. Understand? If I require you to do something, you will follow my instructions to the letter. Or you may leave me now.”
“Of course, Loki! I swear on Mother’s memory, I will listen and do as you say.” Thor didn’t hesitate, though he did feel a slight qualm about agreeing unconditionally. “Will you make me one promise in return?”
The scowl he got presaged argument, but he carried on anyway. “Just promise you won’t flee the first chance you get, Brother. Stay with me, Loki. Please?” Thor begged, hopefully.
“And what of Odin, Thor? What will he do if you free me?” Loki sighed, deeply, and shook his dark head. “He disowned me, you know. Gave me back my birth father’s name. In court. So, I’m no longer his son, not your brother, not even a Prince of Asgard, actually. I’m just a kidnapped babe from an enemy people. I have no standing here any more.”
“It won’t matter once I am King, Loki. And you are a prince. Of Jotunheim, true. In fact, you could claim the kingship if you wished. Father did tell me you are Laufey’s son.
“I will declare you my heir, at least until I have one of my own. I want you as my chief advisor, Brother. You would head my Rada. And you will choose who speaks on it.” Thor walked to the corner of the cell and reached for the controls. “Will that satisfy you, Loki?”
The Jotunn stood, arms crossed, one hand stroking his chin, frowning in thought. ‘I suppose it must, at least for now.” He stepped through the barrier as it fell.
Loki stood quietly, warily watching Thor. “Well, what now, my King?” He looks tired. Unsure of himself. That’s new.
The Trickster got a tentative smile and open arms in reply. “Might I give my brother a hug?” Thor asked, softly. “I need one.”
Loki didn't move, save to close his eyes and turn his head to one side. Thor was forced to take the two steps to him. He knew it was deliberate, Loki’s way of showing he would not let Thor have everything he wanted.
The blond god understood he would have to work for every concession to his wishes. The mage’s pained sigh as Thor wrapped him in his arms was just more proof. So he was surprised when that midnight head dropped onto his shoulder after a moment. This time his little brother’s sigh seemed more sad, almost regretful.
This just might work, Thor thought. He’ll never admit it, but I think he’s missed our closeness, too. I have to remember to hug him more often. And support him, no matter what others say.
“Loki?” Whispered low, Thor just held on, gently, careful not to crush the other to him too tightly. He placed a soft kiss to the top of ebony locks, “Are you alright, Brother?”
The Jotunn gave a shaky breath, his own arm coming around to Thor’s back. Then he seemed to become aware he was hugging back and he stiffened. An aggravated sigh this time. “Are we done now?” Loki growled. “I would really like some clean clothes and a bath, as I’m sure you can tell.”
Thor only smiled back. Releasing the slighter god, he grinned at him. “Now, there’s the brother I remember! Such a peacock, Loki. Oh, and I like the way you smell.”
Thor outright laughed at the shocked, outraged expression on Loki’s face. “Come on, Brother. You can bathe in my chambers. I’ll have your things taken out of storage and reopen your rooms while you clean up. Then, dinner? You look thin; they can’t have been feeding you well.”
“You try subsisting on the swill they give prisoners and we’ll see how fat you get!” Loki groused. However, he strode along at Thor’s side with no hesitation. The brothers swiftly left the dungeon, returning to the castle proper.
Thor caught the first servant they came across and ordered a meal for the two of them, to be brought to his chambers. At Loki’s raised brows, he shrugged. “Thought you would like an enjoyable meal to be eaten in peace this first night of freedom, brother. And we can talk.”
As the pair continued to climb, from the servant areas and through the public spaces to the private royal floors, Thor expounded on all the changes he wished to make. He told the mage all the reasons he could imagine why Loki would be indispensible to his reign, gesticulating, touching his brother’s arm, his shoulder, laying a hand across his back. While Thor knew his brother had never been particularly demonstrative, he also knew Loki had been touch-starved since his incarceration and probably for some time before. He was also trying to keep the dark god’s attention focussed on him and not the stares and whispers happening around them.
It seemed to be working; Loki listened carefully and replied to Thor’s questions and suggestions thoughtfully. But finally, he stopped dead and held up a hand.
“It’s alright, Thor. I know what you are doing. It’s to be expected and I’m not worried or upset. I’m used to the whispers and the looks. It hasn't really bothered me for a very long time.” He grinned one of those scary, toothy smiles. “I observe and catalogue them all. If anything untoward comes back to me, I will know who the author of it was.”
“Oh, Brother!” Thor sighed. “I had hoped to avoid this.”
“That why you’ve taken us on such a roundabout route, Brother?” Loki snickered. “You can’t avoid everyone!”
“No, I suppose not, but I have tried to keep us as unnoticed as possible. I don’t want to be inundated with questions just yet, myself. I wanted this evening to be just for us, Loki.”