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Our village is a good one with a handful of families working together to maintain our place in the hills. We pasture our sheep, tend gardens, and maintain our houses. The land is not good for wheat or barley, so we trade with the town several days' travel away. My grandfather is the leader of our village, but he is very old now and my uncles actually run things for him. My mother looks after grandfather and makes sure her brothers listen to his advice. There are several other large families in our village, but everyone listens to my grandfather and uncles. We visit with the other villages as well, except for the villages over the mountain who are our enemies because they stole many of our good pasture lands when I was still very small.
I am good at caring for the sheep and go with the other shepherds each summer pasturing the herds far across the hills and fields. Pasturing sheep is hard work, exposed to the elements and away from the village for long stretches of time to travel to the best pastures. I protect my family's flocks from predators, working together with my cousins and the dogs. The winters, when everyone stays in the village, can be hard too and sometimes hungry, but we also have good times when we celebrate, praise the gods, and enjoy good food.
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My cousin, Janina, and I have been inseparable since we could both walk, our mothers say. We were born the same summer, 17 years ago, and our mothers, being sisters, took turns caring for the two babies, while the other looked after the house or the other children. This winter, Janina has been telling me about Kasper, a young man a few years older than us. She has an elaborate plan to court him over the next year. I think Kasper is more interested in Janina’s older sister, but I don’t mention this. Instead, I tell Janina that my father has promised to take me with him next fall to trade sheep in the lowlands. We trade mainly for grains that are difficult to cultivate here, but also expensive goods that no one in the village can make. I am sure I will meet a wealthy young merchant and impress him with the high quality of my sheep and my good-looks. Everyone agrees that I have inherited my late grandmother’s beauty - her long fair hair, clear blue eyes, and graceful dancing. I am careful to remind Janina that she is also very beautiful. She simply takes after her father’s family with darker hair that curls in hot weather and a lovely singing voice.
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The previous night one of Uncle Olaf’s new lambs had been killed in the far pasture enclosure. These things do happen; new lambs are vulnerable to many predators. But, this dead lamb had been found ripped apart and drained of blood, but with most of the flesh untouched. Janina, more prone to superstition than I, thought it could be a Strzyga, the flying creatures that ate the blood and flesh of animals and people in the night. I thought it was more likely a wolf and tried to calm Janina’s fears.
That night my parents, siblings and I were getting ready to sleep when the dogs outside the door started to whine strangely, but didn’t start to bark the alert for a bear or wolf. After a minute we could hear the sheep bleating in fear as well. My older brothers, Rafel and Lech, exchanged a look and Rafel lit a torch from the fire as they stepped out to look outside. I heard them shouting and cursing and was about to venture out to see if they needed help, when Lech burst back inside.
“A monster was among the sheep!” he shouted. Seeing our panic, he clarified, “ it ran from us pretty quick. I saw it running across the near field into the woods. Rafel is calming the herd and will be right back.” Lech was right, Rafel came right back in and extinguished his torch.
More calmly they described the monster: “It had an ewe in its grasp and was about to bite into it.”
“Fangs, long fangs!”
“It had the face of a Bebok or a Wodnik, ugly and hairy, but the teeth of an eel!”
“I raised the torch to scare it off, and Lech called upon Perun to strike him down”
“He looked right at me, so I repeated the curse and showed him my blessed ring” Lech had purchased for himself a ring with the Ugunskrusts to symbolize Perun’s lightning the previous harvest season.
“The monster dropped the ewe and fled away.”
Father asked many more questions about the monster and we all had trouble sleeping that night. The next day I told Janina that she was right. It was no ordinary creature in the woods. The whole village soon had heard the news and were casting worried looks towards the eastern woods. Father and the uncles talked at length about going after the monster, but Uncle Elim declared it too dangerous and that we would be armed and ready the next night if it returned.
Janina and I hurried through our chores as the sunlight faded through the day. Caring for the injured ewe took some time. We treated its wounds with honey and checked for signs of bewitchment or evil about the animal. This took so long that the sun was behind the hill by the time we were returning with water from the river for washing after dinner. We didn’t say anything as we walked the familiar path. We were approaching the first buildings of the village, when Janina suddenly screamed and dropped her pail of water. The water splashed onto me and I turned to see the monster already on top of her.
Just like Rafel had said, it had a hairy face and long teeth, but, beyond that, it almost looked like a person, a skinny young man with tattered clothes. However, it wasn’t acting like a man, it was acting like a beast, crouched over Janina and sinking its teeth into her throat. I ran at it screaming and tried to swing my heavy pail of water into its head, but it sidestepped and tripped me over, scratching hard at my side with long, sharp nails. It abandoned Janina and pushed me into the dirt. It was so close to me that I could smell the blood on its mouth and see the details of its misshapen face and inhuman eyes. I screamed at Janina to run, to get help. I saw her slowly try to get to her feet. Then, the monster tore into my shoulder and slammed my head against the stoney ground. I remember more screaming, the motion of being dragged, the feeling of branches against my limbs, but I kept passing out as I bled repeatedly into its gaping mouth. I think the monster eventually threw each of us over a bony shoulder, and I felt its teeth and a horrible long tongue against the wound on my neck as I was carried.
When I woke up, the pain in my neck had gotten worse, not better. I was so woosy, I could barely move, except to turn my head and see the monster stretched out next to me. It was darker, but I could see enough to see the small cave around me. Damp and mossy, like all the caves near my village. I thought I recognized this one as the cave up river that my brothers and I had played in as children. Janina was slumped a few feet away with blood all down her dress. The monster was biting into my wrist, but I could barely feel it, everything kept spinning and fading around me. The monster looked up and was suddenly in my face, panting in a strange dialect, “You live, you live. Not like the other one. Her blood drained everywhere, all over the forest. Not enough left for me to drink once we got away. I was so hungry” Every word seemed very important to him, but meant nothing to me outside of the fact that this monster could talk. This must be a Strzygoń or an Upior, the soul of a dead man remaining in the living world.
“But, you’re good, so good, so delicious,” he whispered to me. He kept glancing over at Janina like she had betrayed him somehow, like bleeding out was her fault. I tried to turn to look at her, but could barely move, I lifted my head and everything grayed out for a long moment. I had to focus on breathing and could hear the monster continue to talk in a soft, panicked voice about how much Janina had bled right away, how he knew it was stupid to try for two at once.
I opened my eyes again, and his face was still inches away from mine, the pale fur of his chin and cheeks matted with blood. He patted my face, “Wake up, wake up, You need to live. Here, here” He pressed his own wrist, somehow bleeding himself, into my face. I was still trying to gasp for breath that wasn’t coming and couldn’t move as his blood was smeared across my face and into my mouth. I knew the instant it hit my tongue and dripped into the back of my throat, I felt a wave of euphoria wash over me before I convulsed and a searing pain shot through my whole body, erasing the cold numbness of blood loss.
The monster was still talking, a nervous repetition asking me not to die. I realized that Janina must be dead and that this was somehow a mistake on his part. He whispered in my ear, “You’ll live, you’ll still be alive.” I could barely comprehend the words. A fire, as I had always imagined Perun’s lightning would feel, ripped through my limbs and I screamed in pain, worse than the pain of the multiple bleeding wounds across my body. I could feel him holding onto my shoulders to keep me in place, but the pain faded everything out.
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When I woke again, it was sudden and with none of the previous confusion or fuzziness. I was staring up at the low roof of the cave and it was quiet. I turned over and found it to do so easy despite my earlier injuries. Janina stared back at me, clearly dead, her dress soaked in blood from her torn open neck, just starting to dry. Before I realized I had moved, I had my mouth on her wound, licking the coagulated drops from her neck. I was thirsty like I never had been before. I needed something warm, not her cool body. I pushed her hair, loose from it’s typical braid, from her face, trying to see some meaning in her still face, some answers to the horror of the night, but I didn’t linger for long.
I knew where to find something warm, something to sate my thirst. My sheep kept me warm on cold nights pasturing them in the hills. Most importantly, my sheep were full of warm blood. I stumbled through the dark woods, the image of the injured ewe constantly on my mind. My body hurt, there was something wrong with my face. I wondered where the monster had gone. The monster, he had been chased off last night, trying to get at the sheep from the east, where you had to cross the open field and pass the dogs to get to the sheepfold. I knew how to approach from the south, past the cottage where Grandfather used to live and between the garden patches. That way would take longer, but would be much safer.
I had to walk some time back to the village, in turns running and stumbling to the ground. I was so thirsty, but felt odd, like I was drunk on strong beer at the same time. Time kept disappearing and catching up again. I could feel the memory of the hot drops of blood at the back of my throat as if they were still there. There was something terribly wrong. Janina was dead, I needed to tell someone. I needed to drink. I was so thirsty, so hungry at the same time. “So hungry” the monster had said.
I was suddenly running past Grandfather’s old cottage. Had it been hours? Had it been a few minutes? The stars were bright in the cold night. I could hear voices in the distance, but none between me and the sheepfold. I crept through the garden, taking the long way around to not pass through the garlic patch. I could smell the familiar scent of sheep and also the intoxicating smell from my family’s cottage. First a sheep, to sate my hunger, then I would tell them what had happened to Janina. When I hopped the fence into the sheepfold, the sheep scattered from me, but that was okay, I knew how to grab an uncooperative sheep by the leg. I could feel its pulse just below the skin, and flipped it into the familiar hold we used to hold them still for shearing. My teeth were just right for ripping into the soft skin at the ewe’s armpit. I didn’t need a knife at all to suck at the sweet, warm blood. There was a scream from the cottage, loud voices coming towards me. I stood up, dropping the ewe limp to the ground.
“Rafel! The monster! He attacked Janina and took her to the cave upriver,” I shouted to my brother. This was the most important thing for him to know, but he didn’t seem to be listening, he was looking at me in fear, then at the dying ewe at my feet. Father came out of the cottage behind him, carrying a torch and marching towards me. I screamed and put up a hand to keep the harsh light from my face. “Get back, Strzyga! Our village is protected by the gods!” Father shouted and waved his torch forward.
“No, I’m no Strzyga. It’s Lavina,” I started to shout back, but more figures with torches were moving towards me. I could smell them, even sweeter and richer than the sheep, but also armed with dangerous fire. I backed out of the sheepfold and one approached me from the west. Uncle Olaf must have looped around the cottage. I could see his face clearly in the fire, eyes wide with fear and shock.
“Tymon, it is Lavinia, but cursed and wrong,” he called out to Father, who I could hear groan in horror in the distance.
“What have you done to Janina, you abomination?” I heard my uncle question, but couldn’t think enough to respond. I couldn’t look away from the place where his beard covered his vulnerable throat. I heard Mother scream in the distance and jerked my gaze back to see even more torches and the faces beneath them getting closer. Lech held his fist with the terrible ring extended, polished copper shining in the firelight, “Perun protect us all!” he shouted and I screamed, attacked from all sides. Instead of lunging towards Uncle Olaf, I turned from the mob of voices and danger, fleeing into the dark woods.
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I was less thirsty now with the sheep’s blood sloshing in my stomach and smeared down my front, but the pain was returning. My face felt swollen like a bee’s sting, then shrunk like a drying apple. My back spasmed and I stumbled in the fallen leaves. I needed to find somewhere safe, another cave, a quiet, dark place to sleep. There were no caves in this part of the woods, far from the river. I found a hollow log from a fallen tree and tried to lay down and stop shaking. The open end of it threatened me. I pulled armfulls of leaves into the hollow log until it was as secure as possible. I didn’t feel tired or sleepy, but as I heard the morning birds and small creatures waken, I fell into a deep sleep.
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Something terrible had happened to me. I knew that, but it took several days to discover what exactly. My face had hair, not a man’s curly beard, but the smooth coat of an animal. My nose was flat, my ears longer, my teeth sharp. My hair became thin, my back curved like an old woman’s. But, the worst changes were inside me. I tried to forage berries, but their juices were cold and sour. I vomited all night. Instead I longed for warm blood. I snared a rabbit. I wanted to build a fire to roast it, but the thought of the campfire sent me into a panic. I decided to simply skin the rabbit. Before I could find a suitable tool for skinning, I was biting directly into the animal. I couldn’t stop thinking of attacking and biting a person. I couldn’t do that, not to my family. I wondered if they had found Janina’s body, if the monster was out in the woods with me.
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The days and nights passed. I traveled east, initially simply to put distance between myself and the village, so that I couldn’t attack anyone when the hunger seized me, as it did every few nights. I traveled over the mountain, where I knew there were several deep caves. In one there was a hibernating bear. It tasted different from a sheep or a rabbit, but not as good as the blood from the monster’s wrist or those few drops from Janina’s wounds.
I remembered that the village who claimed pasture land from us when I was a small child lived over this mountain. That night all I could think about was that village. I knew what I would do if I went there, and they were our enemies and probably deserved it for diminishing our grazing lands and depriving our sheep. I made a plan and snuck into the village in the dead of night. I picked a young man who walked out to pee in the middle of the night. I was in control. I waited until he finished relieving himself and tried to snap his neck. I was much stronger than I had been a few weeks ago, but it still took two tries. He struggled for a moment, but I was able to carry him away. I thought I would take him back to a safe area, but couldn’t resist once we were a few dozen yards from the other cottages. I drained his blood in a few short minutes and felt better than I ever had before - except for that brief moment when the monster’s blood first entered my mouth.
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It was spring when I came across the road. My clothing was ripped and stained. I had drained three more people from the next few villages as I remembered the trade routes my father had described. Each time, I was faster and more confident. I no longer bothered with rabbits or other animals when I was hungry. I knew I needed to stay out of the sun and find safe places to hide each day. I tried not to think about what I had become, but I knew I was transformed into a monster, just like the young man who attacked Janina and I.
I started to follow the road, knowing that it must lead to more villages and people. The second night following the road, a covered wagon creaked slowly ahead of me. I made a plan to jump in and pull the first people I saw out the back of the wagon. However, as soon as I implemented my plan, I was overpowered and pinned down. Nil held me down until he made me understand that they were the same creature as me, despite looking like normal people, and I shouldn’t fight him. He and Nevenue took care of me, finding me a new dress to wear, explaining that we were called Kindred and not Cursed and could still live among people as long as we controlled ourselves. Slowly, I learned to control my hunger. A few times Nil fed me his own blood when I was too hungry to leave the wagon without losing control.
We became friends and I was glad to travel with them. Some places we stopped only to trade the materials Nil and Nevenue carried in their wagon, sometimes we met other Ravnos and traveled together. Sometimes we traveled to places with many Kindred of all kinds. I had never traveled so far or met so many people. I was learning so much.
I traveled with the Ravnos for three years. The second time we passed through Gemnia, I asked to stay a while instead of traveling on with Nil and Nevenue. I stayed with the Lisowski family for the winter, and when the ground thawed out in the spring, I dug myself a safe little haven near the water.
